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#but also like have a little whimsy in your life my dude
undercoverwarlock · 2 months
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You can ship Frodo and Sam all you want, but saying that the reason why Frodo let Sam and Rosie live with him because he was in love with him simply isn't true. Arwen gave her place on the ships to Valinor to Frodo, confirming that he would not live out his days in Middle-earth. When Gaffer Gamgee died, Sam did not inherit the family home because he had an older brother. He also did not inherit Rosie's family home through marriage because she had an older brother, as well. Merry was an only child, and Pippin had 3 sisters, so they both would inherit their family homes when their fathers died. Out of the 4 hobbits, Sam was the only one who was from a working-class background, so he would not be able to buy a home for himself (or pay to have one built). Frodo knew he would soon leave the Shire for good, but he wasn't going to give everything to any hobbits who might have been his friends but weren't even relevant enough to appear in the films. The only person he could leave Bag End to was Sam, because not only was he Frodo's only friend who had no home to call his own but also because Sam had tended to the gardens for years and Frodo knew that Sam would take good care of it. Not out of gay love.
That’s a nice theory! But also if you look at the family tree in the appendices, Sam’s brothers had left the Hobbiton area, one to become a roper and another “removed to North-farthing”, so in theory the son who had followed in his father’s footsteps would have been the most likely to inherit the house, if we’re following your line of argument.
but also, on page 1001 (Book 6, Chapter 9), Frodo does ask, “‘When are you going to move in and join me, Sam?’” Note that the previous gardener, Sam’s father, did not live in Bag End with Bilbo, and Sam needn’t have moved out of the Gaffer’s house, as generational homes were more common (see the Great Smials). Frodo asks this before knowing Sam wanted to marry Rosie. Also, in the books Frodo did sell Bag End to the Sackville-Bagginses, and post-Scouring of the Shire and all that, could have likely left the place to his other friend who did not go with him on the whole journey, Fredegar Bolger, who we know less about but is mentioned as being one of Frodo’s closest friends in the beginning of the story. So I’ll leave that for you to ponder.
and besides, when did something being not true in a fictional world here on tumblr.com matter? Why not make it gay?
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darubyprincx · 8 months
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a heist to steal back a ravager for decked out
"Okay," said Doc, crouching over a 1x1 hole in the dungeon's ceiling with Ren by his side. "How are we going to do this?"
"I say we get a rope down there, tie it around the ravager, and then haul it back up," said Ren. "If we get a pulley system and bolt it into the ground-"
"Dude, we don't have that much time," said Doc. "Tango's literally online and working down there. He could do a test run at any moment. We have to get in and out like-" he snapped his fingers "-that."
Ren snickered. "Right. In and out, dude. In and out. Yeah. Maybe we could lead it to the dungeon entrance and get it out that way?"
"What if two track onto us?" said Doc. "Also, wouldn't we have to open the door somehow?"
"Doc, brother, I am willing to risk my life for a stack of diamond blocks," said Ren grimly. "Also, pickaxes exist."
Doc laughed under his breath, then sighed. "I still cannot believe he offered us that much just to steal back the ravager that he stole from Tango in the first place. Cub's insane, man. Okay. We get to the entrance, break in and cover our tracks, and then we go in on three?"
"Sounds good to me, my dude," said Ren, standing up and stretching.
"By the way, why are you still wearing that stupid thing?" asked Doc.
"What, this little old thing?" asked Ren, flicking one of the ears on the hoodie of his onesie so that it flopped out a bit. He grinned, spinning around in place. "Because it's comfy and warm, obviously!" Stopping to look at Doc over his shoulder, he added: "Also, if you put your costume on Tango catches us, we can always just hide in plain sight and pretend that a Sniffer wandered in somehow-"
"No," said Doc.
"Okay, then," said Ren with a dramatic sigh. "Really, Doc, you have zero whimsy. Let's go, but I'm wearing this the whole time."
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altraviolet · 3 months
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Sorry about the bad news! I decided to gather some out of context TEG notes from my document in hopes to cheer you up a little:
Chapter 1:
First impressions, they find each other strange looking. Rodimus finds SW creepy and SW finds Rod gaudy in amount of pieces and color scheme. This is fun to watch change later on.
Chapter 13:
Rodimus is the first person Soundwave opens up to willingly without being forced to answer. He doesn’t even like Rodimus but the fact Rodimus is only one giving him a chance already makes him more willing to share internal stuff.
Chapter 16:
First instance of SW feeling good things in general (in a non-malevolent way, since the incident) but also feeling good things towards Rodimus. Also first time Laserbeak flutters against his chest in response to Rodimus.
Chapter 19:
Soundwave experiences whimsy. While still anxious and easily irritated with the LL crew, he felt comfortable enough at his party to laugh. In this same chapter he is bothered by being the most hated mech on the ship too. He has nothing left to loose at this time and is settling into life there whether he consciously admits it or not.
Chapter 21:
He’s making fucking friends, let’s go!!!
Chapter 22:
(1) Nautica is naturally friendly, quite like Tailgate, they don’t really have a reason to like SW at all but they want to try regardless. She is very excited to meet SW and I get the sense that while wary of him of course, she believes Soundwave to be gentler than he is— that he just hasn’t had the chance to show it yet.
(2) SW is being a supreme dumbass this chapter.
Chapter 23:
You could cut that tension with a knife, ease up girls.
Chapter 24:
He’s feeling guilty for what he did! Huzzah! Yes you are an asshole!
Chapter 25:
(1) TENTACLE WIGGLIES.
(2) Call back to when they first met, Rodimus did indeed punch him then and it was hilarious.
(3) Rodimus definitely likes cuddling. He made the moves to lean against slenderman.
(4) SW that’s called being happy.
Chapter 26:
He’s learned earning things is more satisfying than taking them, especially when it comes to making Rodimus happy. Regardless for a while he still struggles between what’s good for the ship, what makes Rodimus happy and his own hunger to know everything and do things that only benefit him.
Chapter 27:
(1) My king that’s called enjoying a conversation.
(2) Whirl is crazy!! Slay!!
(3) Whirl is spitting bars actually.
(4) SW literally risks being lost to space to retrieve the vial, the life threatening fight looses priority against the promise Rodimus made him.
(5) TG being a fucking boss. SWs realization that such a small mech can restrain him and that he’s greatly underestimated TG is hilarious.
Chapter 28:
Dude you are so in love.
Chapter 29:
Yes, SW, that’s how making friends works.
Chapter 30:
(1) This is funny to me, some security mechs have noticed the frequency in which Soundwave and Rodimus are seen together but they have it wrong here. It is Rodimus who brings SW along whenever he can, SW doesn’t believe he has the agency to follow Rodimus around without Rodimus asking first.
(2) Less swagger, more purpose is a hilarious line.
Chapter 31:
Do not take Rodimus away from his creepy shadow. He cannot stand being separated from his creepy shadow— he is lonely.
Chapter 34:
(1) I am going to die of heartbreak.
(2) Rodimus you’re behaving like a toddler.
(3) Mirage doesn’t speak of Skywarp here because for some reason he still believes he will face repercussions for loving a decepticon. Meanwhile, Rodimus (the autobot co-captain of the LL) is glaring at his decepticon boyfriend for ignoring him.
Chapter 35:
Yes, Rodimus your boyfriend is creepy. What else is new.
Ok that’s enough!! Hope they’re entertaining<3
aww thank you!! I definitely smiled all through reading that =D
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krak-house · 2 years
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ok y'all here's the first 25 of my insane number of Blackbonnet AU ideas I'll (probably) never write, under the cut
Ed as Hades, Stede as Persephone
Stede is Legally Blonding his way through Harvard and Ed's the criminal he has to represent Brooke Taylor Windham style
Mary forces Stede to get a bodyguard and Ed, current crime syndicate boss, goes undercover to get to Stede's wealth but ends up falling in love along the way
Good Omens au. enough said
Stede left his inheritance behind and became a high class escort to make cash, meets rough and tumble stripper Ed on the wrong side of the tracks and they decide to teach each other the way of their professions canon style and later open up a strip club or something together idk
Ed is one of the world's most famous rock stars and Stede signs up as his plucky opening act, cue shenanigans and manager Izzy literally ripping his hair out every moment
Stede is a plastic surgeon who's bored to tears and gets called in for some big emergency to help stitch and it turns out Ed's biker gang got into it with some other gang or something and whilst he's stitching Ed up he falls in love with Ed's tales of adventure and runs away to ride across the country with them (also Izzy definitely bit off someone's ear in this AU bc that's exactly something he would do)
ok this one is a little niche but Vault Dweller!Stede decides to escape to explore the Wastelands and runs into Ed and co who're making a go of it as gunners and wow your life sounds cool can we trade (mutually)
Stede moves into a new neighbourhood after his divorce looking to start over and meets his new neighbour Ed who's a right terror but honestly he seems to have so much fun breaking the rules and spitting in the face of the HOA, why is stede following these stupid expectations anyway?
also niche but Ed's the snake handler/firebreather/whatever he feels like that day in a travelling circus that Stede runs away to by stowing away on their train Water For Elephants style
alternatively, Ed works in a travelling carnival (think county fair style, with lots of big metal contraptions and midway games, the illusion of whimsy but everyone's stuck in very rote jobs that get boring as fuck doing it day in day out) and Stede has decided to leave his family to start a travelling circus. They're a small dog and pony circus that's very untested and entirely unpopular, but they end up in the same town as Ed's carnival at one point so Ed decides to check it out and holy shit Iz they have a Bird Guy and they can throw knives and shit at each other, this shit fucks (can you tell I come from a long line of circus folk lol)
Stede is head of a business frat and by god does that frat next door have loud parties, maybe he should politely remind them to keep it down because some people have midterms coming up and oh fuck the head of the other frat is hot and wears all leather and is getting a music degree fuck him
Stede is a respectable FBI agent with rules and shit and Ed with dubious credentials that are definitely CIA standard crashes in and upsets all the careful planning and somehow pulls off a huge mission whilst looking like he's not even trying and damn if that's not hot af
Ed didn't really want another roommate in his flat but times are tough and this Stede guy obviously has money and just wants to try out slumming it for a little while but Ed can way overcharge him on rent so he might as well and holy shit what kind of insane(ly cool) shit is this poncey rich kid buying with daddy's credit card this time? Also Stede makes chore charts and Izzy tries not to strangle him with his own socks
the obvious Western and/or Blazing Saddles AU
the even more obvious florist/tattoist au (bonus points if you switch them away from the obvious role)
Hear me out on this one: Bring it On. Ed's the hip-hop for fun dude that somehow gets roped into a dance competition with traditionally trained ballet dancer Stede who really really wants to disappoint his daddy by being really good at something super gay
Stede walks into a music store looking for some old classical record for his collection and holy fuck he's never met the owner bc he's rarely there but that man Ed is Hot
Baby Stede Bonnet's first pride where he meets Leather Daddy Ed and promptly has a full-on anime-style nosebleed
Ed and Stede first met just like in the first 20 min of Parent Trap but lost touch over the years. They both end up on a cruise ship somehow and fall in love for realsies this time like titanic
Prince incumbent Stede runs away before his arranged marriage/coronation and gets kidnapped by notorious highwayman Ed who agrees to get Stede far away from his hetero obligations in exchange for some family fortune, fall in love on the way back to the Castle to nab the cash
speaking of: Tangled AU. Stede is obviously Rapunzel, Ed is Flynn, etc
also speaking of: Enchanted AU. Stede is Giselle, Ed is Patrick Dempsey but a pub owner instead
or, alternatively, Stede is the divorce lawyer and Ed pops up bc he's running from the Crown and so ensues similar problems to the original Enchanted
The Princess Bride. Need I say more?
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spocks-husband · 5 days
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I finally made it to season three of Picard, so as I said I would to a very very good friend who happens to be quite important to the creation of this show (🤭) I am gonna live blog the first episode and possibly others! So yeah let's go :3
-i love the ink spots dude this soundtrack goes so hard
-OMG ITS BABYGIRL BEVERLEY
-Shes so cheekbones
-omg she has a gun yasss
-OHH MY GOD NO THEY SHOT BABYGIRL
-erm that phaser rifle is NOT set to stun 🤓☝🏽
-can I ask why this whole opening scene is made up of like two colors--
-OOH NEW TITLE SEQUENCE HELLO??
-i want a painting of the 1701-D in my house :(
-little Bajoran statue on his desk..... That's there specifically for me......
-THE FLUTE OH MY GOD
-i love my beautiful boyfriend Jean-Luc
-omg I know the computer voice she's my favorite person ever 🤭🤭
-THE old uniform omg I'm screaming
-the lighting is giving sub rosa for some reason
-that was very cryptic Beverly are you fucking your grandma's old ghost boyfriend again
-why would she cut them off?? That's. Very odd
-its been two seasons of this already but can I ask why the Romula OH MY GOD SHE KISSED MY BOYFRIEND
-GET OFF HIM YOU FREAK HES MINEEEE
-RAHHH
-sorry I'm normal I promise
-AGGGHHHH WILL IS SO HOT
-The fat ones help 😭😭
-if they make Deanna and Will fight I will LOSE MY SHIT
-i'm so glad will is gonna be actually relevant in this season I missed him sm 😭
-this reminds me of the Orion bar on Nimbus III that you go to for that one mission in Star Trek Online that I can't beat lmao
-does being able to recognize and distinguish different star trek alien scripts make me a nerd ☹️
-SEVEN AND RAFFI BROKE UP????
-broooo
-i wasn't all that attached to them actually it's fine
-why is everyone having a mental breakdown and it's only episode one 💀
-i wanna have my bones crunched by a hot Orion man........ He's so green and beautiful.........
-earth space dock is a lot quieter outside STO lmao
-neo constitution?????
-OMGGGG HI SEVENNN
-making seven use her human name when she pretty explicitly doesn't like that is sooo cute........ I don't trust this new captain.......
-OMG GEORDI'S BABY??????
-NOOOOOO OH MY GODDD I'M LOSING IT
-is geordi not gay. Is that not actually canon. Did I make that up. I think I made that up.
-wathcing Jean-Luc and Will harass each other is my favorite thing so far
-New captain is kinda hot unfortunately ☹️
-Oh god and he's an asshole. That's my type. Oh God. Oh no.
-dude I can't stand this man. But also I need him.
-"bragging rights" will please
-everytime Jean-Luc gets something about modern starfleet wrong and embarrasses himself I contemplate suicide
-DUDE THIS GUY SUCKS
-"ACTUAL OFFICERS"??? DUDEEEE
-fuck this guy actually
-THE EX-BORG COMMENT??? HOLY SHITTTT KILL YOURSELFFF
-nvm he's not hot anymore he was mean to my boyfriend
-raffi needs help dude is she okay 😭
-13 COURT MARIAL LEVEL OFFENSES???? DUDEEE
-Uhhhh what's up with this. Handler thing.
-the warrior comment made me think Klingon but that's probably very very wrong lmao
-AWWW THEY GOT BUNK BEDS!! They're having a sleepover :3
-angry Will is really really hot. Sorry. Sorry. I'll leave.
-seven is so cool I'm losing it
-OH OMG OMG SEVEN COMMITTED MUTINY THATS SO SILLY YESSS
-yeah no I can't stand this guy
-OLD MEN COMMITING CRIMESSS
-The special effects in this show are so bomb I actually don't care what you all are going to say, you have no whimsy and joy
-OH FUCK THAT STARFLEET BUILDING JUST HOLY SHIT NOW ITS COMING OUT OF THE SKY HELLOO????
-Jonathan Frakes has never done anything wrong in his life and I'm obsessed with him
-will stop playing with the cremated remains
-i'm so tired of British people dude
-YEAHHH BEAT HIS ASS WILL aw he's done nvm...
-HER WHAT???? HER HUH????? HELLO????
-oh that ship is totally fine and not terrifying at all
Overall rating, 9/10. Very solid.
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lnc2 · 3 years
Text
this time next year
Summary: Marinette is worried about the future. Adrien wants to know where he fits into it.
A/N: This piece was written for the @mlwriterzine and I’m so excited to finally share this with you!  I hope you enjoy it and also go check out the zine because there are so many amazing stories/art pieces collected there.
AO3
The party was well underway by the time Adrien knocked on Nino’s door. Alya was the one who answered, half of her face obscured by gold tin foil pinned to a green beret.
“Speak of the devil,” she grinned, leaning heavily on the door frame.
Adrien bussed her cheek and passed over the bottle of rosé he’d swiped from his father’s wine cellar. “Sorry, Alya. The show ran late. You know how those things go.”
She waved him in, whistling at the bottle in her hands, and shook her head. “Thankfully I don’t. Everyone’s in the living room.”
Adrien followed her into the kitchen instead, eyes straying over the tipsy, crowded apartment. Back against the wall, where Nino’s faded and cracked leather couch usually sat, was a long table covered in gold plastic sheeting. Green and gold hats of various styles were littered across, as well as glitter, rhinestones, netting, feathers, and any other number of crafting materials.
He smiled. “I see you’ve all started without me.”
“Naturally,” Alya said, putting his gift in the fridge to chill. “You’re several drinks behind us now, Agreste. Pick your poison.” She gestured to the half-empty bottles of liquor scattered across the bar.
“No tequila?”
She snorted. “You’ll have to track down Marinette for that one. She ran off with the bottle half an hour ago.”
Something warm filled his chest. “A cup of ice and a lime then.”
“Good luck with that,” Alya said, bumping his shoulder as she passed him the glass. Adrien laughed as he followed her into the living room, his smile widening as he spotted Kagami fussing with the green flowers on her gold newspaper hat.
“I’m not sure how I feel about this.”
Alya batted her hand away. “It’s tradition!”
She pressed her lips together. “It’s archaic.”
“Boo,” a familiar voice called from behind him. Adrien’s heart stuttered as a familiar pair of arms slipped around his waist. “It’s just for fun. No one takes it seriously.”
Adrien thought back to earlier in the evening and Gabriel’s annual Saint Catherine’s Day gala and couldn’t agree. There was a stark difference between the frivolousness and whimsy of Nino’s house party and the staid sobriety of his father’s fashion show.
As if reading his thoughts, Marinette’s eyes sparkled up at him beneath gold netting. “At least no one here.”
“Speak for yourself,” Alya said. She adjusted her hat and threw an accusatory look towards Nino. “Tick tock, babe.”
“You won’t let me propose until you’re out of grad school,” he whined.
Adrien hid his grin as the familiar argument ensued. Instead, he tipped his cup of ice towards the half-empty bottle in Marinette’s hand.
“You’re one of the few people I’d share with,” she said, filling his glass. Adrien leaned down to whisper his gratitude only to be pushed from the other side, causing them to knock heads.
Marinette laughed waving off his apologies with a squeeze to his waist even as their assaulter continued to elbow into the group.
“I’m never getting married,” Alix announced from her position on the back of one of Alya’s coworkers. There was a crown on her head but no decorations. She gestured wildly with her free hand. “Just call me Queen Catherinette.”
“All hail,” Alya said, clinking her wine glass against a reluctant Kagami’s. Her glassy eyes strayed towards Marinette. “What about you, girl? It’s been a while since I’ve heard about Emma, Louis, and Hugo.”
Adrien tried not to sound too interested when he asked, “Who?”
Marinette laughed, her flushed cheeks flushing further. “I’m afraid that future is on hold, Al. I need to find a boyfriend first.”
She removed her arm from around his waist then and Adrien had to restrain himself from pulling her back to his side. Instead, he took a healthy swallow of tequila and let the conversation drift into less turbulent waters.
Now was hardly the time to volunteer his name to the top of her list. 
Adrien could think of two, maybe three very important conversations they needed to have before he could even approach that topic. The most pressing of which weighed heavy on his right hand and sparkled like precious gems on his lady’s ears.
He watched over the rim of his glass as Marinette giggled with the other women in their silly hats. One of them—Alix’s roommate, he thought—burst out with a jubilant, “For pity’s sake, give us a husband!” only for the others to raise their glasses with various tipsy rounds of, “Hear, hear!”
He smiled as Marinette wrestled Kagami’s fidgeting hands away from her hat. It had only been a few weeks since their reveal but Adrien was struggling to see how he could have missed the woman he’d loved for a decade in his dear and wonderful friend.
“Some party, huh?”
Adrien coughed as Nino slapped him on the back just as he was swallowing. Nino laughed at his accusing glare. 
“Sorry man,” he said, grinning. “I thought you heard me coming but I guess you were distracted.”
Adrien ignored the teasing lilt in his friend’s voice.“It’s a good crowd,” he said instead. “I’m sorry I was so late.”
“No worries. Although if everything goes well hopefully this will be the last Saint Catherine’s party we’ll be hosting.”
Adrien laughed. “You think you’ll have worn Alya down by then?”
Nino shrugged. “Fingers crossed. I’ve had this ring burning a hole in my pocket for two months now.”
“Maybe you should be the one wearing the hat.” He grinned, only to receive a rough shove to his shoulder.
“You’re one to talk.”
Adrien pretended not to understand.
“Seriously, dude?” Nino shook his head. “You’re not that slick. If you like her you should just ask her out. I know for a fact she used to have a thing for you.”
And even though Adrien already knew that, even though Marinette told him so several years earlier when her crush was a thing of the past as she’d laughingly put it, hearing his heart’s desire put into words so matter-of-factly did things to him.
Things like make him want to punch a hole in the nearest wall or tear out his hair in frustration.
Because really, how was it fair that the one woman he’d spent years chasing had actually spent several years of her own chasing him right back?
It wasn’t.
Not when Adrien still found himself in the chase and she had apparently just … stopped.
“That was a long time ago, Nino.”
“I don’t know if I’d say that.”
“... Why?” Adrien stared, stomach clenching. “Did she say something? Did Alya say something?” 
His heart raced like hummingbirds wings in his throat as he tried to catch his friend’s gaze. 
Adrien grabbed his shoulder and shook. “Nino.”
“I can neither confirm nor deny anything.” He laughed, before hiding his smile behind his glass as they caught Alya’s attention across the room. Adrien met her suspicious frown with a wave even as his other hand tightened on Nino’s shoulder. 
“But …?”
“But … I wouldn’t count myself out just yet.”
Adrien’s hand fell to his side as all of his breath rushed out of him. “Oh.”
“Although, that may change if you don’t do something about it. Sooner rather than later if Kim’s roommate is anything to go by.”
Nino nodded towards the corner of the room where Marinette was chatting with a tall brunette. He was leaning towards her, his fingers playing at the edge of the netting on her hat as he whispered something in her ear that made her laugh. Adrien was already halfway across the room when Nino shouted, “Good luck!”
He wasn’t exactly sure what he was going to do to break up their little tete-a-tete but he needn’t have worried. As soon as he was in her line of sight Marinette’s smile lit up like the Eiffel tower and there was little left for him to do other than introduce himself before the interloper tried his luck elsewhere.
“Come outside with me,” she said, tugging his arm. “I haven’t seen you all week.”
“Your fault,” Adrien said, happy to follow her anywhere. “You canceled patrol.”
Marinette rolled her eyes. “You know I had to finish up those pieces for your father’s show.”
“At least you weren’t forced to go.”
She laughed and leaned back against the balcony railing. It was cooler than usual tonight as fall slowly gave way to winter and they had the little patio all to themselves. “Perks of being a lowly intern.”
“Please,” he said, bumping her shoulder. “You’ll be a junior designer by next year.”
She hummed, taking a swig of tequila from the bottle only to cough as it hit the back of her throat.
“You can mix that with something you know?”
His lady winced and took another sip, smaller this time. “Who has time for that?”
“You if you’d just slow down.”
It was only half a joke. Lately, even before their Big Reveal, Adrien noticed something changing in Marinette. She was a little less scattered, a little more single-minded. There was almost a frenzied focus about her, like some great fear was nipping at her heels, spurring her forward.
It wasn’t until her timer ran out during an akuma attack that he began to understand why.
“It was ten years this September,” she murmured, turning out to face the cobbled streets below.
Adrien hesitated before wrapping an arm around her waist and pulling her into his side.
“We’ll get him, bug. I promise.”
“But when, Chat?” She started to lean her head against his shoulder only for her hat to get in the way. Frustrated, she ripped the little masterpiece off her head and crushed it in her hands.
“Stupid holidays aside, I do want a life, Adrien.” She ripped lightly at the netting. “You said I’ll make junior designer by next year? I don’t see how that’s possible when I’m running out of work every other day because someone couldn’t control their emotions.”
Her voice caught on the last word and he was horrified to realize she was crying. “I want to run my own business someday. I want –– I want to fall in love and get married and have babies.” She looked up, teary gaze meeting his. “How can I do anything when I always have one foot out the window waiting for the next catastrophe? Who could put up with that?”
“You’re not someone a person has to put up with, my lady.”
“Yeah.” She sighed. “Right. Tell that to my exes.”
“I’m sorry,” he said, because really that’s all he could do.
“Don’t be.” She sniffed, giving him a sad, sad smile. “You can’t do anything about it any more than I can.”
That wasn’t entirely true though.
Adrien turned his attention towards the scrunched up hat in her hands. Marinette followed his gaze and gave a watery laugh.
“I want it all, Adrien,” she whispered.
“I know,” he whispered.
“Do you?” she asked, eyes wide and blue and wet and angry. “Do you really?”
Adrien pulled her to him then, giving her the hug her fears deserved. Marinette clutched at his back, her arms sliding beneath his coat to wrap around his waist, giving as good as she got.
“I don’t want to wait anymore.” 
Tears stung his eyes and words, the right words, stuck in the back of his throat as she gave voice to desires he’d never been brave enough to even dream. Not when Ladybug said no and not when Marinette said not anymore and not when they merged and became everything he’d ever wanted but feared he’d never have.
She wanted it all. 
Adrien closed his eyes and breathed in his lady’s perfume. Freesia and jasmine and something he’d never been able to name. Marinette’s arms loosened around his waist when it seemed like he would pull away, but Adrien only held her tighter.
“I––” He stopped. “You said you don’t want to slow down?”
Marinette nodded.
“Well … how—how would you feel about a chaser?”
She pulled away so she could see his face. “A chaser?” she repeated, frowning.
Adrien bit his lip, feeling heat rushing up his neck and ears. “Ah, yeah,” he said, doing his best to hold her gaze. “Like—like a partner. To your tequila, I mean.”
Adrien watched as confusion gave way to understanding in the form of a perfect little open-mouthed oh. His heart was pounding hard enough he was starting to suspect she could hear it when her eyes glistened up at him beneath the dim porch lights.
God help him but he couldn’t trust himself. He couldn’t trust the gentleness in her gaze or the way her body went soft against his or the purse of her lips as she watched him with that pleased little half-smile as realization gave way to something and that something could only be called wonderful as she ducked her head beneath his chin, pressed her lips against the open collar skin of his neck and finally, finally whispered in that small, hopeful impatient way of hers,
“Are you volunteering?”
And even though he knew she knew and even though the question really didn’t require an answer, Adrien tightened his hold on her until they were swaying together chest to chest and repeated the only thing he’d ever wanted to give her.
Yes.
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lustbile-archive · 4 years
Text
In The Cards
Tumblr media
HaechanxReader
Word Count: 3.7k
Summary/Warning: Smut. Best friend Haechan wants you to read his tarot :( warning! very beginner tarot knowledge. all card interpretations found on the app golden tarot
Request: can i request a bestfriend-to-lovers hyuck where he and the reader share their first time together?
This is the third installment of my week of halloween fics. Info about possible blurb night here
“Please?”
“No.”
“Why not?”
“Because it’s weird.”
“How is it weird?”
“Haechan seriously,” you finally turn to face him as you lay side by side on your bed, the pout and puppy eyes he wears on his face the exact thing you had feared to see as you knew he had his ways of convincing you no matter what, “you’re asking me to do a reading on your love life.”
“And how is that weird?” his voice pitches as he turns to mirror you, now with you both on your sides and your phones tucked under your respective pillows you have no choice but to stare into his warm eyes. His body is dramatically lax as he relaxes into the mattress, already ready to toss his body around obnoxiously if you decide to deny him again.
“You’re my best friend dude, it would be weird to see what the cards say about your possible romantic activities,” you were somewhat telling the truth. Yes, you thought it would be kind of weird to see what your cards had to say about his love life, the idea being weirdly intimate for you, but you also knew that there was a small part of you, an evil yet insecure little gremlin that had made a home in your heart a few months before, that would take whatever they say directly to heart. You never anticipated forming romantic feelings for the boy in front of you, actually when you and Haechan had first started getting close you stubbornly denied that something like that happening was possible, yet here you were stupidly infatuated with the boy who lays in your bed wrapped warmly in a worn hoodie with your heart trapped between his teeth, “that and I’m not even that good at doing readings yet.”
“An even better reason to do it,” he sits up with a jolt of energy making you return to your place on your back to watch him, “so even if you do my reading, like you said you’re not that experienced so we won’t take what they say to heart right? It can just be for fun.”
Your eyes squint in disbelief as you try to read the look on his face. Regardless of his words, you know it wouldn’t just be for fun. Haechan had made it kind of obvious on the few occasions that tarot readings, and things related to things of that nature, were brought up, that he truly did believe it. Haechan had a whimsy about him, a belief and willingness to believe in things outside of himself, things he couldn’t really explain, and usually you’d find it incredibly endearing, but now it just helped in raising your stress levels.
“Come on dude,” his head tilts back and his face scrunches as he tries to convince you, his determination unfortunately making a smile start to pull onto your lips, “I’m bored and the ambiance is way too sexy right now for us to not do some witchy shit.”
Again, like always, he was unfortunately right. It was late into the night, nearing 3 am, and a storm raged loudly outside. The storm being the exact thing that had locked Haechan in your room to begin with as it had knocked your power out an hour or so before the time he was meant to leave, so he had decided to stay instead. He had claimed it was because he didn’t want to bother with traveling in the storm, but you could easily pick out the softness behind his eyes when you casually mentioned not wanting to be alone in the dark.
Along with the steady storm, you had also gathered your collection of candles and scattered them lit around the room, that and the quiet sounds of Florence + The Machine and Fleetwood Mac playing from the small speakers connected to your phone only supported Haechan’s argument. You two had perfectly crafted the perfect atmosphere to ask questions to some other force, and you can’t help but kick yourself for putting yourself in such a position.
“Okay fine,” you finally respond hesitantly, a grimace on your face and you move to sit up as well. You hate the way your chest tightens at his reaction to your words, an excited jump bouncing him in the air as he leans over to the table you keep to the side of your bed. The idea that he just knows exactly where you keep your things dances tauntingly in your mind and you angrily push it down as you move to sit facing him with your legs crossed underneath you.
“Found ‘em,” he whispers as he rifles through the drawer, a quiet triumphant noise squeaking from his chest as he moves to sit back in front of you, mirroring the way you sit with a smug grin on his face.
“Shuffle them a couple times for me,” you say, motioning to the deck in his hands, and he does so immediately. His fingers work slowly and gently, the fear of damaging the deck floating around his form. He splits it a few times, shuffling them together in a neat stack before he hands them to you like a devious cat happily offering their owner a dead mouse, and you smile softly at his consideration for your things.
“I’m only gonna do a three card pull okay? Past, present, and future okay?”
“Yeah, yeah that’s cool,” he nods excitedly as he shifts around where he sits, his anticipation slowly gaining on him, “I’m cool with whatever.”
“Okay give me a question to ask while I shuffle,” you command, your hands holding the deck as you get ready to shuffle, “it can be as detailed or vague as you want, the cards should understand what we're asking.”
“I just wanna know…’’ he hesitates for a moment, his lips caught between his lips as he thinks, “love life I-.... hm… I guess I want to ask it to show me the path my love life will take.”
You only nod in response before your eyes fall closed. Your heart beat picks up and your hands shake slightly in your nervousness, but regardless you begin to repeat the question in your mind as your hands begin to move. ‘Show me the path of Donghyuck’s love life’ you speak to your cards as they dance between your fingers, your hands much more rough than Haechan’s.
His breathing is almost deafening as it's the only human sound that hits you as you work, and you hear it catch when your hands stop moving.
Your eyes open again, and with a deep breath you lean forward to spread the cards out in front of him in the shape of a fan, “pick three and put them in my hand,” you command again with your hand held out flat, “whichever three speak to you.”
“Okay,” he whispers, his fingers moving to hover over the cards and the way he holds himself he looks as if you’ve just asked him to take a standardized test. He jolts slightly before grabbing the card below his hand, and it's quickly placed on your palm. His reaction when picking the other two are not much different, and after a minute or two you have all three cards and you’re gently collecting and setting the remaining cards to the side.
“Okay,” you start as you shift to get in a more comfortable position, “we’ll start with past.”
He nods as you move to lay down the first card you were handed, the card revealing itself to be The Lovers, their naked bodies and the angel that lives behind them almost taunting you and making you tongue stick dryly to the roof of your mouth.
“Okay..” you trail off as you glance at the boy in front of you, his eyes going slightly wild at the sight of the card in front of him, “now present.”
Wanting to get out of the situation as quickly as possible, you lay the next card down, and before you now lay the two of cups. Another pairing of people to stare as you squirm.
“Finally,” you huff moving to lay down the last card, “future.”
With a soft thud, you place the card down, the naked woman that floats in the center of The World card is impossible to ignore. Haechan hums quietly in consideration, his head bobbing slightly as his eyes move across the spread before him. He looks pensive for a moment when he looks up at you, until a playful grin takes over his features.
“What does any of this mean?” he asks with a laugh.
“Well,” you start moving to grab the book you keep next to your pillow that hold the different descriptions of the cards, scolding yourself for still not having them memorized, “none of them are reversed so that that as a good sign, and none of them are The Tower so you’re not doomed to die alone I suppose.”
He laughs again as he watches you flip through the book, your eyebrows knitted together as you search for the first card.
“Okay so, your past is The lovers,” you start, one hand resting on top of the card as your eyes shift around the page, “it represents partnership, union, duality, and choice. This says it means a union of harmony, full of trust, confidence and strength, This relationship both a physical attraction and a deep emotional bond between them.”
You stutter slightly as you read, your eyes darting up to gage his reaction once the words leave your mouth, his face is soft but serious as he thinks, and you can’t help but get overwhelmed by the look.
“Okay, and then present,” you hand shifts to the Two of Cups while your other hand flips to the correct page, “this card means unity, partnership and two become one…” you trail off slightly, hoping Haechan only assumes it’s from you trying to read the page and not for the real reason that is the words in front of you makes you heart beat harshly against your chest, “signaling a union and partnership of balance, honor, and respect, The ancient symbol of the caduceus also suggests energy, passion, and sex, and the intermingling of opposite forces.”
“Oh,” he responds involuntarily as he absorbs the words you speak, and you can only wish that you could crawl into his mind and see exactly what he’s thinking.
“Okay and lastly, your future,” you shift again, your previous position suddenly not feeling comfortable anymore, “The World card represents fulfillment, harmony, and completion. It says, absolute unity, perfection, accomplishment that draws from inner and outer sources. This card signals the harmony of the inner and outer worlds, and reaching a level of enlightenment. An era of one's life is complete and there is joy and celebration that is coming to welcome it.”
With a soft smacking noise, you shut the book and place it back to its spot next to your pillow. Your words still linger in the air with a tension wrapped around them, and in your desperation to avoid Haechan’s eyes you begin to return the cards to the deck, a silent thank you being spoken in your mind as you thank them for their knowledge.
“So what do you think about that?” he asks, his voice softer than earlier, the tone making your eyes dart up to try and read the emotion on his face.
“It’s not about what I think Hyuck…” you place the hair tie that lives on your wrist around the deck to secure it and place it on top of the book, and when your done you lean back onto the palms of your hands to survey his body language while also creating more distance between you, “it was your reading so it’s your interpretation, what did that tell you?”
The words come out like you’re trying to cough up years worth of chewed gum and the way they clog your throat makes you feel weird. It may be up to his interpretation, but you can’t stop the way the cards and their meanings make you feel as they wrap a confusing combination of hope and terror around your fragile heart.
“I think,” he starts as he once again moves to mirror the way you sit, a soft but unsure smile on his face, “they told me exactly what I needed to hear.”
“And what was that Hyuck?”
“Well you know, the whole emphasis on partnership, and union, and choices. If anything i’m starting to think your cards like me a little bit cause they kind of told me exactly what I wanted to hear.”
“And what was it you wanted to hear Haechan?” you ask, his smugness and confidence making you laugh quietly.
“That I’m not putting my hope or my heart in the wrong place. I think it’s saying that I’m right in wanting the thing I want so badly.”
“Jeez Donghyuck,” you huff as you fall to lay back onto your side, a giddy feeling flooding you as he once again follows suit, “you speak in more riddles than the cards do.”
“Oh do you want me to tell you straight forward what those cards just told me?” he asks rhetorically as he lays close enough for his face to crowd you personal space, his breath occasionally hitting your skin.
“Well yeah, lay it on me Hyuck, what did those cards encourage you to do?”
“I’ll fucking lay it on you alright,” he doesn’t even give you the time to form the question in your mind of what he could possibly mean before he’s on the move. He’s on you before you can blink, his body pushing you onto your back and his hands landing against your bed next to your head and caging you in. Your body reacts before your mind does, and your hands are gripping his wrists and you legs are falling to the side to allow him to rest between your thighs, as he knocks the air from your lungs with his mouth pressing against yours.
You both let out matching hums in content at the feeling of each other’s lips. You’d call yourself a liar if you said you had never imagined what it would be like to kiss the boy that now rests on top of you, but no matter how many hours you had logged dreaming about the very moment, none of it prepared you for now.
He rests his body flush against yours as his lips work against yours, and there’s only a beat of time before his tongue is brushing against your bottom lip, begging for entrance.
You break away, the idea of him feeling the same way as you filling you with childish excitement and confidence, so much that you can’t stop yourself before you’re teasing, “so my cards told you to attack me?”
“Hush,” he pecks against your lips once before speaking again, “they told me I was completely in the right for being in love with my best friend, and that making a move would only end in happiness.”
“You’re in love with me?” you ask, those being the only words that stick in your mind, Your hands tighten around his wrists, and the skin of his face flushes in realization of what he said.
“Uh… yes,” his eyes are filled with his nerves as they lock onto yours. The internal debate he has with himself of wanting to tear his eyes away while being completely unable to is transparent and puts you at ease at the idea that he’s just as nervous as you, “I’m sorry if that’s really abrupt, but I really am.”
“Donghyuck,” you whisper, leaning up to nudge the tip of your nose against his, “I’m in love with you too.”
“Thank fuck,” he swears louder than intended, and you giggles of happiness is smothered by his lips latching to yours again.
There’s no asking this time as his tongue shoves its way into your mouth, and you let out a pleased groan when the moment he licks at the back of your teeth, his hips shift down and he begins to softly grind against the crotch of the thin fabric of your pajama shorts.
“Tell me,” he speaks between open-mouthed kisses that he places across you mouth and up your jaw, his words doing their own licking against the shell of your ear, “tell me if you want to stop, cause I don’t think I can.”
“I trust you Hyuck,” you whisper during the fleeting second that your mouth is free, “do whatever you want, I’m so in love with you.”
He groans loudly at the string of words that leave you, the noise cutting through and disrupting the smooth voice of Stevie Nicks and his body returns to rocking gently against yours.
Your hands trail away from his wrists, moving up his forearms and up until your fingers tangle in his hair. The slight tugging you give to his roots pulls another groan from his mouth, and the sparks of pleasure that hits your lower stomach at the sound combined with his hardening length pressing against you through the thick fabric of his sweatpants makes you feel like you could live in this moment forever.
You can feel your growing arousal spilling from you, the wetness making the fabric of your underwear stick to your skin, and at the feeling of him suddenly bumping gently against your clit makes you squeak as you hips begin meeting his thrusts with their own.
“Please,” you whimper out when his mouth latches onto the skin stretched over your jugular, “want it. Need you.”
“I’m gonna keep you up all night,” he growls the promise against your neck, “I have so much time to make up for.”
He sits up, a smile of pride on his face when you huff at the loss of him. You only get a few sounds of discontent out before his hands are grabbing at the fabric of your shorts, and shoving them down your legs, your ruined underwear following. The fabric is tossed behind his shoulder, and in his impatience, his hands are rough as they grab at your thighs. He pulls you, bringing you down the bed to be closer to him, before he’s pushing his own pants down to bunch at his hips, his tip brushing against you and making you jump as he slaps against his stomach.
You squirm as he returns to his place flush against you, both at the sudden feeling of the room’s air hitting your damp skin and the way his length glides against you. You can feel your arousal smearing against him, and in your desperation, you’re grabbing his face and pulling back down to meet your lips again.
Laying there, pressed as tightly together as you can be with your mouths devouring the other’s, you feel him reach between your bodies. His fingers only take a moment to dip into you, gathering your wetness on his fingers, before he’s using it to coat his length more than it already is.
He pulls at himself a few times, the moans he lets out at the friction being swallowed by you, before he’s pressing into you without warning.
The stretch and the idea of your best friend being the one that is so suddenly fucking into you has you reeling. You feel overtaken by the feeling of whiplash, and as he pushes into you inch by inch, you let out a moan that lived deep in your belly.
He pauses when he’s fully inside of you, the depth that he reaches as the girth of him making your eyes begin to roll wildly and before you can catch your breath his hips are retreating.
His pace is rough. He’s slow, and he doesn’t pull but a few inches out, but every time he returns to your body, it's a harsh thrust that knocks the air from your lungs.
It’s not long before you feel overwhelmed, the way the cozy heat from the candles and the thick fabric of his clothes as they brush against you licks at your skin and sinks you into the mattress. His mouth refuses to separate from yours, and his thrusts are consistent and unrelenting.
You’re sure you’ve never felt more held in your life as your wrapped up with your best friend, one of his hands moving to hold the side of your face while the other travels down to play with the sensitive nerves of your clit. The gentle way his hands move against you contrasted by the rough way he fucks into you has you clinging desperately to his hoodie as warm tears well up in your eyes.
One of your hands moves down as you get closer, your nails digging into the fabric that covers his ass as you desperately try to pull him closer than he already was. This and the way your hips start bucking against him makes him groan as you two get tangled in your sheets.
You feel the tingling warning of your orgasm running up your spine, a crackling moan feeding into his mouth from yours and the way you softly clench around him being his only warning before you come with a cry.
His hips stutter as he follows quickly behind, a very similar sound of bliss slipping from his mouth as you two begin to shake against each other.
You feel like you’ve been sewn into his skin as you twitch together with aftershocks, him equally as unwilling to separate his body from yours. Once he pulls his hand from between your bodies, his arms wrap tightly around your waist, and he pulls you tightly into his chest as he lays his full weight on you, and you legs wrap around him as you refuse to let him slip out of you.
“We’re going again in a minute,” his voice rasps as he presses his face into your shoulder, his nose nuzzling against the skin.
“Really?” You ask with a laugh as your hands return to their job of running through his hair.
“Yes I just need a minute,” he promises, and you shiver as his hips start to shift already without him even thinking, “it’s what your cards would have wanted.”
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inosukeslefttoe · 3 years
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SO i just finished wonder egg priority and i think that with confidence i can say it has been one of my favorite animes like... ever ?? and not even from hyperfixation or obsession over it just... its so fucking real yet so simple in a way that i havent rlly seen shown in any other shows you feel ??
but first i wanna talk about how sexy the art and animation is real quick... HOMIE ITS SO GOOD LIKE EVERYTHING ABOUT IT JUST... serotonin... the characters are all so unique and iconic and fun but not over the top in their designs yknow ??? they seem like regular every day girls but they stand out and theyre all sO CUTE !!!! also i love how the style is like this soft bubbly slice of life lookin stuff with bright happy colors and the most beautiful scenes you could find but they also have the SICKEST fight scenes complete with whimsical animal helpers and terrifying villains and crazy weapons unique to each character. and the animation. god DAMN shawty i am obsessed with everything in this show. i might make a post solely about the art later lol bc i wanna get into the other stuff.
so the themes in the show right ?? it starts just as this cute lil magical girl kinda deal but within the first episode we see that like.. oh damn... thats kinda heavy... tbh i was a little shocked and thought about stopping bc yknow bad mental health BUT i was so intrigued that i had to keep going and i am SO GLAD that i did. because this show just so beautifully discusses all these heavy topics in such an eloquent and artistically expressive way. and also like, , the juxtaposition of the charming childlike vibe with bright colors and 14 yr old girl protagonists against the dark themes of suicide and so much else,, i think is just perfect. bc a lot of heavy animes are more of the seinen genre and have some middle aged dude as a protag or make the entire color palette dim or offer little relief to the pain of these heavy themes right ?? but NO not wonder egg bitches B) because these problems arent just things that ppl face later in life or just problems that need to be talked about among adults or the edgy seinen watching squad,, these are REAL problems that face people of every age, gender etc and i think its awesome that wonder egg addresses that. some may cringe at the thought of their high schooler watching animes that discuss sexual harassment, suicide, abuse, self harm, eating disorders etc,, but in reality it is the most comforting thing i have ever come across and is basically jsut free anime therapy. because not only does wonder egg present these themes to the viewers as something real that happens to all kinds of people (making said people feel heard in a way that maybe they hadnt before), but it also makes sure to vanquish all of these forms of trauma. and the way the trauma is vanquished isnt always beautiful and it isnt always just magically gone with a poof. the struggles of overcoming or living with that sort of thing are shown in such a real and relatable way that addresses every hardship trauma survivors have to go through. and i just. god i cry bro. 
oh m y GOD and the lgbtq+ rep in this show ?? like shawty... as soon as i saw episode one i was picking up on some gay/lesbian themes but then again im sapphic and project that a lot so i tend to see that sort of stuff like... everywhere... but NE WAYS... episode ten made me FUKCING CRY BRO LIke i cant believe there was a whole trans character with a whole trans pride hoodie like LKGHKDGH my heart is just so.. so fucking full thinking about him. bc like yeah i know there are trans characters in anime but i feel like theyre always very ambiguous about actually being trans or not or erased or portrayed as a harmful stereotype or theyre constantly misgendered and still refered to as their assigned gender at birth and i hate it. HOWEVEr... Kaoru.. *chefs kiss* it was so amazing to see a character straight up say “yeah im trans” in such a casual yet powerful way bc i personally have never seen that before. and i love love loved how he went into his backstory and talked to momoe about gender bc i think thats what she rlly needed and that it helped her find herself and it makes me so happy oh my god,, and the way they talked about it never seemed forced or like it was the focal point of his existence yknow ?? like yeah he existed to help momoe overcome some of her trauma but he also just existed to be HIM yknow ?? also... personally, i headcanon momoe as a trans girl even though i dont remember it being explicitly stated plus the school scenes of her and stuff would seem like they suggest otherwise ??but,,, SHAWTY THE AMOUNT OF SUBTEXT and her complicated relationship w gender is... something i feel like a cis girl would not go through so harshly yknow ?? with all of the questioning and feeling detached from femininity or feeling like ppl dont see her as an actual girl and only like her as a guy or for her masculine traits,,, but dont take my word on this bc i myself am a cis girl but that was just my take on it as someone in the lgbtq+ community trying to educate myself on the transgender community :) either way,, wonder eggs portrayal of momoe and kaoru and the way that momoe becomes so passionate about expressing herself the way she wants to as a girl is just... good lord im gonna cry its so perfect,,,.so ... i just love this show way too much. i also am honestly super lost about the relationship btwn acca and ura-acca ?? bc i was gonna mention ura-acca as a canonically gay guy bc when i was watching i interpreted ep 11 as him being in love with acca and being jealous of Azusa (bc i mean,, they lived together (i swear to god there was only one bed in that apartment) and had a daughter together and def loved each other and also when Frill said they were husbands and then when ura-acca said he wasnt attracted to azusa but he was def jealous of their relationship ??) but then i saw somewhere that theyre brothers ?? which would make sense ig since they look kinda similar and accas daughter called ura-acca “uncle”.. but at the same time its ANIME SO THEY ALL LOOK SIMILAR and referring to gay couples as siblings is an EXTREMELY common euphemism soooo... IM JUST LOST HERE... but yeah i tried doing research and found different things so i cant say anything for sure >:( however,,, if they are canonically a lil fruity for each other... when frill refered to acca as ura-accas husband i imploded dude you never hear that sort of wording in anime.. but if theyre related i am so sorry. 
god this is so much longer than i planned it to be oops but i also love the theme about like.. relying on friends to help carry your weight but at the same time not becoming completely dependent on those friends and using their support to learn how to love yourself and rely on yourself yknow ?? bc that is exactly what healthy friendships look like. bc i think ai sort of had a codependency thing goin on with koito maybe ?? but now she has a whole squad of funky friends that are so so different but all struggle with different kinds of trauma and although they fight over it, they always get through it with each other together. and they push each other no matter what to be the best versions of themselves and they teach other that getting hurt is okay because theyre always gonna be there to pick up the pieces no matter what happens. they can give each other space when they need and adapt to meet each others needs but theyre always able to balance it out with their own needs and thats such a beautiful thing in friendships especially at their age like damn i wish i had that maturity when i was 14 but no all i had was depression. another thing is that through these friendships you get to see all the different sides of each girl; you get to see them being strong or a shining light to their friends when theyre hurting but you also get to see them being hurt and weak and allowing themselves to be on the receiving end of the comfort. their friendships allows them to have weaknesses but it also allows them to highlight their strengths and thrive off of each others. I LOVE FRIENDSHIP DUDE
next i wanna briefly mention some of the themes connected to suicide that ive noticed. a big one is the survivors guilt that ai feels once koito is dead. several times she screams that she wishes she couldve gone with koito and she dreams of a “perfect world” where they committed a double suicide. one of the main reasons for her troubles is that she blames herself for koitos death and feels like it should be her thats dead... but at the same time she feels like too much of a coward to do anything now that koito is gone. she just has all these complex and contradicting feelings that wear away at her in ways that ppl that havent gone through the suicide of a loved one could never imagine. a lot of the times when things like this are portrayed in media i feel like its more in a way thats meant to guilt trip those that have taken their own lives and paint suicide as this selfish sin thats unforgivable but... not only does wonder egg reject that idea and instead portray it as a heartbreaking tragedy with,,, so so many terrible reasons, but it focuses on the feelings of ai separate from koito without blaming her in any way. not once did i feel like the show antagonized koito or that ai blamed koito for doing any of this, but they simply mourned her loss and touched on ais reaction towards the event but separate from koito herself if that makes sense. and i think that discussing survivors guilt without painting koito as the bad guy is something so beautifully done in wonder egg that can really resonate with those that have lost a loved one to suicide and have struggled with these same things.
okay i think this is the last thing ill mention,,, but HOMIE THE PARALLEL UNIVERSE BIT AT THE END. I AM. OBSESSED. i am such a whore for anything about the multiverse okay n e ways...,, not only did this make a super epic trippy ending of season one and add a little bit more magical girl whimsy to the show,, but it had such a powerful message. from the perspective of og ai,, finding out that you killed yourself in another world is... i mean its definitely not a surprise but at the same time it rlly makes you think how close og ai herself couldve been to that point and what decisions led her out of that dark place in her life. if i were in her shoes i would be terrified and id cry bc the thought of going back to such a dark place and actually going through with something like that is my worst fear and probably something that ai fears too. but at the same time,,, think from the perspective of ai two !!! like yeah its true that theres this awful terrible version of ai that dies but theres also a whole version of ai that is a superhero magical girl fighting off monsters to save countless ppls lives !! and she has a badass lizard and a gang of awesome friends !!! at first i was worried that ai two would be jealous of og ai and compare herself to her and feel inferior but like.. THEYRE LITERALLY THE SAME PERSON AND CAPABLE OF THE SAME THINGS !!! and ai two realized that !! just within the span of one episode, she went from the version of ai who took her life,, to the version of ai jumping in front of a friend to take a bullet for them and save their life. and that just inspired THE SHIT OUT OF ME. i think that ai was sent another version of herself to sort of beat her own worst enemy yknow ?? those doubts and fears that shes no good or that shes that same bystander from episode one and that she hasnt changed at all. but getting to interact with her parallel self and see her grow was just what she needed to realize that while yeah sometimes the worst thing can happen and things can be terrible but on the other hand sometimes the most wonderful thing imaginable can happen because she has the power to do either. 
so im gonna go ahead and stop rambling bc i got all my thoughts out that i wanted to for this post :D but yeah lol i might make another if i feel like it sometime. long story short: this show is perfect and it is going on my favorite of all times.
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herstarburststories · 4 years
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Devil, bring me to heaven
Kinktober day 5: Deep throat
Hauntober: Moonlight
Pairing: Demon!Dean x Reader
Summary: You suck Dean off under the moonlight and you both are interrupted.
Warnings: oral sex (male receiving), public sex, jealous!dean, kinda of non intentional voyeurism for a bit, hint of fluff bc yes
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Your knees ached against the soaked cement. It rained earlier, making the situation more painful and you mind a bit more sickened with the realization that you couldn’t change a thing. Man, that would probably leave some bruises.
Then again Dean loved bruises on you. At least, this demonic version of the king of your heart did. He enjoyed love marks and hickeys before. It made Sam constantly call you two horny teenagers. It was rougher now, but this was still Dean.
It was Dean. That was all that mattered, even if you had to lose yourself to find him.
The cold ground was as unrepentant to you as the green-eyed demon's cock in your face. He was hard, his precum wetting your cheek as you dared to look up. The moonlight shined on his face as if it had always been meant for him.
You kissed his balls, already familiar with how he liked his blowjobs. You didn't have time to spare here, though. You two were in an open parking lot behind a forgettable restaurant — someone could easily walk through here. You had to make him come quick.
Dean's toughened hands caressed your head, tangling his fingers in the glossy strands of hair. You looked so beautiful like this, on your knees just for him. He may be a demon now, the Knight of Hell even, but that didn’t mean he couldn’t appreciate you — especially when you knew his body so well. 
“Come on, baby girl. Take it slow. You know I love some good foreplay, no rush here.” He pulled you back once your skilled mouth became too spirited for his liking. Dean was relaxed tonight. Maybe he'd even go slow on you later. You could take your time here.
You did as he said like you usually do when it comes to sex. Your smart mouth and commandeering nature always melted away when he was like this, exposing you at your neediest. Dean, of course, was more than happy to oblige.
You teased at his tightened sac, enjoying the weight of the stiff cock pressed against your cheek. Your mouth got greedy as time passed by, starting to mouth at the soft flesh of one of his testicles while your fingers slowly rubbed the other one. Dean let out a quiet groan, fingers sunken in the ocean of your hair to lead you to his throbbing cock. You two were dwindling into the night, coalesced as one holy sin.
Your lips had barely been placed on the side of his velvety cockhead when you heard footsteps. You grunted after giving his dick an open-mouthed kiss and started to pull away, but Dean wasn’t having any of this.
If someone had a problem with his girl sucking his cock, then he'd simply kill them. Granted, he'd probably kill them anyway for seeing you in that position — this was only meant for his eyes, green or black.
The unfortunate person might’ve been lucky to die for this, honestly. Dean would say that seeing you blow him off was a pretty damn good last thing to see before being murdered. He was a man about Sam’s age; tall, yet not as tall as Dean; and muscular. Dark hair, hazel eyes, and tan skin. He was essentially the guy you'd call your type before you met Dean.
The Winchester had seen enough crappy 70’s flicks to know you had a weakness for it. He already hates this guy's guts. He was going to die or, at least, bleed enough to make unleash a crimson river under the moon’s pale radiance.
What? He was a demon, after all. He didn’t need much of a reason to hate, much less channel his aggression onto any Tom, Dick, or Harry that so much as looked at you twice. 
The man's steps grew closer as Dean guided your swollen lips back to his cock. You whined and nuzzled his sweat-slick skin as if there was no better place to be. Still, you weren't sure about someone else seeing you suck Dean off. You've never minded some harmless public touching, but this is way more forward than anything you’ve ever done before.
The male stopped in his tracks, the hard pavement under your knees digging into your skin as you jolt. Your lips were gentle to the base of his shaft. You kissed your way to the top where the precum smeared your lips. Your hands on his hips dug in, winding him in closer while your tongue soothed the ache of his weeping head. 
“Whoa, woman. You know I love it when you do that thing.” Dean grunted under his breath when you slipped your tongue into his slit. Your lips wrapped around the tip of his cock before swallowing him thickly, soaking up the warmth of his slick spill. “Yeah, honey. Go ahead. Take all of me into your mouth.”
“What the fuck?” The other male choked, taking in the scene with wide eyes. You didn't appear to be forced onto doing this, so he didn't rush to push Dean away, but why the hell were you two fucking behind an Arby's? This was his dad's restaurant!
You jumped a little when you heard his voice. Why didn't he just keep walking? You were so embarrassed by anyone but Dean seeing you like this. Even though you had your clothes on, you also had half of a cock inside your mouth. Contradictorily enough, it also turned you on. Someone was seeing that you were Dean's and he was yours.
The eldest Winchester could feel hesitancy in the tenseness of your neck, but he soon managed to wipe away your worry with his hand on the back of your head, caressing your hair with a gentleness that could only come from his human side.
“What? Haven't seen a hot girl sucking cock before? You should try a porn site, buddy.” Dean gave him a whimsy smirk, forcing himself not to moan as you swirl your tongue around the heat of his still-hard cock. You leaned in as he was coaxed with the promise of your tight throat. Just like you two trained.
Besides his flushed cheeks and obvious arousal despite his indignant surprise, the guy managed to speak: “Who the fuck do you think you are? This is a serious establishment.”
“I'm Dean Winchester,” the demon answered with a cocky smirk. The unprecedented third party to their fun might not know what his name holds now, but he surely would find out soon. “And this is Y/N Y/L/N. She's too busy to tell you hello right now, all hungry for my cock. My girl just can't let it go, not even for a minute.” Dean shook his head lightly, as if you were some poor, needy thing. Pursing his lips, he asked, “And you are…? Wait. I don't care. Get lost.”
“I'm Priestly Conner. Just the owner of this place.” The stranger, Priestly, groaned in fury. He was hiding the fact that his dad was the actual owner. How dared Dean to disrespect and degenerate his ego like this? The Winchester, though, couldn't care less. He gave the Priest dude or whatever was his name the chance to walk away and keep his life. You’d taken the time to swallow more of him, the glossy sheen of his swollen cock buried in your throat as you repressed the urge to gag. It was perfect. “Can she get up? And can you get your dick back in your pants and leave now?”
Priestly's voice was starting to irritate Dean's ears. Hurting his ego was good, but wasn't it obvious who had control of the situation here? Besides, he wanted to enjoy this blowjob, thank you. That man was nothing but a distraction. If you could talk now, you'd probably roll your eyes, slap Dean's puffed chest, and something along the lines of ease up and knock off the alpha-macho behavior, Winchester.
As usual, you'd probably be right. There was no reason to garner unnecessary attention to yourselves over a spoiled little man wearing clothes more expensive than Dean's car. He tried to take it easy and give Priestly one last chance.
“Yeah, sure. Just two problems: I don't answer to you, and my girl won't let go of my cock.” He grinned darkly. To prove his point, the green-eyed man moved back a little. You let out a sharp whine, nosing close enough for your nose to brush against coarse hair. His balls slapped your chin with the sudden jerk, your slippery tongue enveloping his hardness in a desperate effort to keep him close. Fuck, that felt good. “See? She's all about my dick, sorry. Don't worry, babe. It's all yours.”
Dean ran his fingers through your hair in a soft reminder that he wasn’t going anywhere without you. He murmured encouragement under his breath as you sucked his cock. His girl was so good to him.
“You… She…” Priestly was tenting in his pants, unexpectedly excited by the scene like it was live action porn meant just for him. Dean groaned. Couldn't this dude get the hint and leave? He was getting the best head of his life here. “G-get your bitch and get the hell out of here!”
As soon as the words left his mouth, both you and Dean knew he fucked up.
“Now, now, now. No name calling. It’s rich of you to call her a bitch and still get a hard on out of it.” Dean bore his cock down harder into the wet of your throat. It made you gag, but you kept going as if you were made to keep his dick in your mouth. When he howled, neither of you were able to discern if it was out of anger or pleasure. “Maybe that's why you don't have a girl right now, buddy. You don't know how to treat women, so you don't get a good suck.”
“You… ”
“I'm done with you.” With a waft of his hand, Pristley was thrown at the wall, hitting his head and falling unconscious on the floor. Weak. “Come on, honey. Make me cum so I can go wake up that son of a bitch and break his back for disrespecting you.”
A moan reverberated in your throat, causing a whimper out of Dean as his dick throbbed. He pulled your hair and started to move his hips, fucking your mouth as if he was fucking your pussy. He was tearing you apart, thrusting deep you like you had a sweet spot there too. 
You felt so full like this. Sure, it wasn't like having him inside your cunt, but the warm sensation of his cock occupying all of your throat was heavenly even when you knew how inappropriate that sounded: the devil taking you to heaven.
You coughed when Dean’s rhythm hastened, thighs pressed together in a loose attempt to gain some relief for your wet pussy. Your hands cradled his balls, massaging them while your mouth swallowed his cock.
It didn't take longer for him to cum, shooting his load inside you as you took all of it. He tasted a little too salty, a flavor you’ve grown accustomed to since his transition into demonhood, but you found yourself quickly craving it. You loved how he tasted and how he came so much and all for you.
Dean kept his hands on your head, helping you remain standing until you swallowed all of his cum. You finally released his dick with an audible pop, looking up to him. The moon made the big tears budding in your eyes glisten marvelously. Dean felt so lucky. He helped you to get up, kissing you softly for once. The old Dean, your Dean, came in glimpses sometimes. 
He tasted himself on your lips. It was a delicious proof that you were still his. He had to let Sammy go, but you were here. He still had family, someone to cling to. Someone who wouldn't change him. Dean licked your lips.
“So good, honey.”
Your legs still trembled as your pussy cried out for attention. Thankfully, Dean held you close. “What are you gonna do about him?”
You nodded at the breathing body on the floor, your voice gruff from taking him so deeply. He loved it.
“That son of bitch?” He groaned at the mention of the annoying interruption. You placed your hand on his heart, rubbing there. Dean placed his forehead on yours. “He disrespect you so he's gonna die.” His green eyes changed into black with a wink, showing the actual weight of his darkness. “And then I'll eat you out and fuck that pretty pussy that's already wet for me.”
“Dean…” You sighed, ready to try putting some sense in his head, but then his bruised hand slipped, fingertips touching your bare arm, your hand, and then your belly, hips, and pelvis. Dean pressed a single digit on your clothed heat. You managed to ruin your panties, yourself, and the silk skirt all for him. You gave in. “Okay. Be quick.”
“I wasn't asking for you permission to kill him, Y/N.” He raised his eyebrows as your hips chased his touch.
“I know, but you still need my permission to get inside me,” you said despite the situation. You didn't think talking so casually about killing a guy would somehow become your new normal. Although, in all honesty, it wasn't that different from the hunter’s life before.“Take it or leave it, Dean.”
“Yeah, okay. Whatever.” He huffed, rolling his eyes before he pulled away to walk towards Priestly. “You better go wait in the car if you don't wanna see some blood, sweetheart.”
“Make it quick. And Dean?”
“What?” his gruff voice asked, turning to face you. You were so gorgeous under the sequin moon. 
“Cuddles later?” You beamed at him, as if he wasn't about to murder someone.
The single smile he gave you in return could convince any jury of his innocence. “Of course, honey.”
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incorrecttwoset · 4 years
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Lesson time with Dani:
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I think the lesson here is that... you cant destroy your self esteem if you dont have self esteem. Gosh, this is the first time im rewatching this in days and im IMMEDIATELY REMEMBERING THE TALENT.
Onto the reviews!
My little swiss roll by a 33 year old Japanese composer. If it is not yet clear, i cannot read Japanese. And Eddy, we don't make you fat you just like eating. (omg i like eating too! Soulmates confirmed?! Yeah nah my heart will always be for my brettybae) Also, fUCK now i want bubble tea. (I am smelling bubble tea right now. Even though there is no bubble tea. Am i gOING INSANE.)
1. Kitai - Anticipation. Oh, i can dEFINITELY feel the excitement in this one. Is there a word for excitedly waiting? Or is that just the word anticipation? Because let me tell you, i genuinely yEARNED for swiss rolls with that part. Its so light and joyful, like watching a baker prepare your swiss roll as a young child who's most important worry is the swiss roll he's about to eat. Yes, there are some questionable parts but overall, i think the bois conveyed the proper emotions and feelings correctly. Its either that or my stomach is asking me to eat breakfast.
2. Gochiso - Feast. I am already getting an image of putting a piece of cake in your mouth and savoring the wonderful sweetness and flavors of the cake, icings and fillings. The way your face slowly turns into a smile as the sugar dissolves and spreads onto your tongue and the way the fork just cuts the soft cake. And the strawberry topping you pop in your mouth. Thank you for that perfect pizz. Turned my heavy romance fluff fic back into a happy lil comedy.
3. Akogare - Longing. Okay, this is too sad to be felt IMMEDIATELY AFTER eating the cake. Its still fits the title of longing its just wOAH OKAY EMOTIONAL WHIPLASH EXISTS. If this was set like a story thing, i feel like this takes place after our protag has left the bakery and has lost the sweet taste of swiss roll cake from his lips. And started to yearn once again for more, the faint flavors of his tongue reminding him of a happier time. A time with swiss roll cake...
Damn now i want swiss roll.
Aviolintango by Lorezno Gutierrez. wOAH THIS ONE SOUNDS EPICCCCCCCCCCC. Dude, this sounds like something that could play in like a fight or chase scene in a fight scene. Its pretty short but its still a wonderful piece. And that soft troll ending? Perfect. Not just because of the reactions. Because youd want it to end on an even bigger grander note than the one before it right? But, the composer decided to step away and let the cheeky spy vibes flow until the end. Please do not judge my opinion, if it isnt clear yet, even though ive said thus a thousand times over, i am just a kid who likes two violin bois and classical music. I just vibe yo.
Inspiration by Vladimir Bodunov, 39 years old. Damn. The first part they played sounded to me like the desire and struggle to lift off the ground and fly. Like, the person wants to, the desire is there but its not enough. I feel like they stopped that part near the "climax" where the tension finally breaks and it takes off. The final part to me sounds like... (a dying seal) the person in focus of the piece or whatever finally reaching the sun. And having a phoenix-like rebirth. With just two chords too! The talent and skill. I kent.
Duet for two violins by Robyn, 13 years old. (Okay flex) Also pretty nice of her to leave dynamics up to interpretation. (Even though i have nO IDEA what that means) And i kNOW THAT ITS A DUET BUT- for some fUCKIN reason, its giving me quartet vibes. And i dONT. KNOW. WHY. IS THE PIECE JUST THAT GOOD. (Lol probabky just heard a quartet playing something like this and my memories were instantly. Unlocked.) I guess it gives me vague schubert or schumann vibes. I forgot which one had a lot of chamber music. BASICALLY WHAT IM TRYING TO SAY IS. It nice. Me like. (Tiny claps)
Flying Fledglings by Anastasia Loiko, 14 yrs old. (Please stop flexing. I already know im uSELESS) It sounded very smooth, in the way that the first few bars personally sounded like a strange... denial despair troubked feeling feeling, ykno? That typa tension, when youre still riled with emotion. And it transitioned over to a more uplifting feeling like yeah, it might not be with us anymore but its probably gone to a better place. It sounds like a person slowly letting go of their saddness, and even though there was some rocky parts (not just from the bois playing OOP-) they still accepted that its not there anymore and learned to live wih that saddness. Ykno? (Or I'm overthinking this too much because of too much angst fics and depression things. Personal life bABEY. IT COMPLI.)
Undicht by Jiro Yoshioka, 20 yrs old. Omg, i LOVE this. The first violin part on its own sounds like some kinda James Bond spy theme. BUT THEN THE PIZZ- OMG its sounds like sUCH a whimsical spy theme oH MY GOD AHAHAHA (i mean it kinda morphs into a more chill and serious part after that but like cMON. THE WHIMSY. I KENT-) And aCHK Eddy's lil hip shake i cANNOT. THIS IS JUST SUCH A FUN PIECE TO LISTEN TO AHAH
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staycatcher · 5 years
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Anguish 001- Anguish
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“Out  of  genuine  free  will,  I,  Lee  Minho,  exercise  the  divine  right  to  reject  my  sacredly  designed  soulmate.”
Member: Lee  Minho / Lee  Know  x  Femme  Reader  (she / her)
Au: Frat Boi! Minho  +  Rejected  Soulmate  AU
Genre: Angst  (some  comedy?,,  this  series  is  gonna  be  angsty  because  of  the  whole  ‘rejected  soulmate’  thing)
Rated  T  for  a  whole  lotta  swearing,  a  frat  party,  crowds,  usage  of  alcohol  and  mentions  of  drugs,  intensity,  reader  is  a  bit  socially  anxious (please  lmk  if  any  other  warnings  are  needed!💞🥺)
Word Count:  4k  &  manually  double  spaced  between  words  &  paragraphs  for  ease  of  reading!!!!🥵🤠🥰
Note: this is dedicated to @trixareforlix, they’re the first-ever friend I made on here and they’re the one who sparked this frat au idea!! Ilysm always angel!!<33
Edited: 201015 (Original: 190813 )
Anguish series 1/?-  ~001~, 002
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The  anticipated  day  where  you’d  become  magnetized,  the  world  around  you  becoming  a  blur,  your  heart  falling  into  perfect  sync  with  the  one  destined  for  you  truly… was  not  like  that  at  all,  actually!  No,  the  stars  were  cruel  to you,  perhaps  you  did  something  awful  in  your  past  life  to   deserve  this,  but  maybe  what  is  more  likely  is  that  your  soulmate’s  just  an  asshole.  After  all,  one’s  soulmate  was  the  complete  opposite  of  one’s  self.  Soulmates  were  the  yin  to  one’s  yang  and  vice  versa  and  all  that.  To  keep  one  balanced,  or  whatever. 
Now,  you  aren’t  the  angel  everyone  may  claim  you  to  be.  You  weren’t  angelic,  not  at  all.  Eating  ice  cream  for  breakfast  was  not  above  you.  Your  nail  polish  was  perpetually  chipped.  You  couldn’t  stand  to  keep  your  hair  in  the  same  style  for  too  long;  chopping  it  all  off  or  seeing  how  long  it  could  grow,  dying  it  as  bright  as  you  could,  and  everything  in  between.  You  adorned  yourself  with  two  or  three  more  piercings  than  your  parents  could  get  behind,  bless  them,  you’re  beginning  to  have  trouble  hiding  your  new  tattoo.  Habitually,  you  were  sensitive,  soft,  a  bit  emotional,  and  tended  to  be  a  bit  of  a  smartass.  You  weren’t  blessed  with  physical  grace,  ceaselessly  tripping  over  yourself,  spilling  and  knocking  over  anything  in  your  path,  and  dancing  out  of  beat  to  blasted  songs. 
More  often  than  not,  you  would  go  to  bed  later  than  planned.  Tonight  was  one  of  those  nights,  but  it  was  not  because  of  your  natural  preference.  You  were  not  too  figuratively  dragged  into  this  by  someone  who  held  the  title  of  your  best  friend,  someone  whom  you  were  currently  thinking  of  ways  of  revoking  that  title  from. 
  “C’mon,  dummy!  We’re  almost  there!”  Jamie  elbowed  you,  her  eyes  crinkled  in  laughter,  whacking  you  on  the  back  a  bit  too  hard. 
 “Jamie,  I  must’ve  forgotten,  but  why’re  you  even  dragging me  to  this  frat  party  again?  Why  not  just  go  to  your  sorority  instead?”  You  groaned,  your  two  left  feet  were  dragging  behind  you  on  the  aged  sidewalk,  your  fake  Doc  Martens  feeling  like  cinder  blocks. 
“‘Cause  Chris  invited  me  and  he’s  being  a  little  bitch  about  it  because  I  keep  canceling  on  ‘im!  He  keeps  saying  that  my  soulmate  might  be  there!”  She  reminded  you  for  the  umpteenth  time,  rolling  her  head  and  eyes  back  in  frustration,  sighing  before  continuing.  “And  now  it’s  like-  I  might  as  well  try  and  see!  I  mean,  come  on!~  I’m  starting  to  think  he’s  right!”  And  for  the  umpteenth  time  today,  you  question  why  she’s  falling  for  this.  She’s  sharper  than  this.  But  for  some  reason,  just  this  once,  she  found  a way  to  shoehorn  Chris’s  dumbassery  to  logic. 
 In  reality,  you  could  meet  your  soulmate  at  any  time  or  place,  so  to  say  that  one's  soulmate  might  be  there  is  like  saying  it  might  rain.  Sure,  it  might.  But  it  also  can  rain  in  any  season  so  you  can’t  be  wrong  with  saying  that  it  might.  It  doesn’t  always  rain  every  day,  all  the  time,  so  it  also  isn’t  that  likely.  Rain  depends  on  a  lot  more  factors.  But  right  now,  you’re  a  little  buzzed,  so  it  sounded  pretty  sound. 
 “So  he  knows  your  soulmate?” 
 “I’d  hope  so!  If  not,  I’d  rip  his  bleached  hay-hair  right  out  of  his  thick  skull!”  Now,  this  is  the  Jamie  you  knew  and  loved,  you  couldn't  help  the  endeared  smile  on  your  face.  “When  we  could’ve  been  eating  takeout  and  watching  a  musical-“
 “So  which  frat  are  we  going  to  again?”  You  had  to  interrupt  her  for  her  sake.  Takeout  and  a  movie  would  always  remain  superior  to  parties  in  your  mind  and  you  already  didn’t  want  to  be  accompanying  her  to  a  frat  house. 
 “Hmm…  It’s  like-  uh...  Signal  kite  zing-  wait  no-  hold  on-“
You  guys  must  be  tipsier  from  the  pregaming  than  you  thought.  “Sigma?  ‘Signal’  isn’t  greek,  I  think  you  mean  sigma!  And  ‘kite’  isn-”
 “Right,  whatever!  Anyways,  the  abbreviation  is  SKZ-“
 “Ohhh!  We’re  friends  with  some  of  them-  We’re  like  best  friends  with  Chris!!  Why  didn’t  you  say  it  was  Chris’s  frat  in  the  first  place?”  Your  laugh  projecting  out  of  you  unattractively  with  claps  and  swings  of  limbs  which  led  to  slapping  a  little  too  hard  at  Jamie's  shoulder.  This  clarification  did  make  you  feel  a  bit  better.  This  wasn’t  a  shitty  fraternity  you  didn’t  know,  this  was  a  shitty  fraternity  you  inevitably  tolerated  since  you  knew  and  even  approved  of  some  of  its  members! 
 SKZ  was  home  to  a  hodgepodge  of  eight  brothers  who  were  pretty  individual  as  far  as  frat  dudes  go.  Some  of  which  you  were  genuinely  fond  of,  like  Chris,  or  simply  acquainted  with,  like  Jisung,  whom  you  shared  a major  and  program  with.  Others,  you  couldn’t  even  remember  the  names  of  or  who  they  are  in  general.  It’s  also  the  smallest  frat  on  campus,  so  they  try  to  get  as  many  people  to  come  to  events  as  possible,  which  is  honestly  exhausting  as  a  concept  to  your  introverted  self.  Thus,  you’ve  never  actually  attended  one  of  theirs  until  now,  now  that  Jamie  is  dragging  you  along  with  her.
 “Ow!  I  don’t  know!~  I  thought  you  were  smart  enough  to  figure  it  out  when  I  mentioned  Chris!”  She  teased,  making  the  two  of  you  laugh  harder,  you  couldn’t  defend  yourself  on  that  one.  The  two  of  you  just  continued  your  idiotic  banter  the  rest  of  the  way  to  the  Sigma  Kappa  Zeta  house  aka  the  SKZ  frat.  
 The  walk  to  SKZ’s  lair  was  a  bit  much,  more  than  you  and  Jamie  bargained  for.  You  were  so  kindly  carrying  her  platforms  for  her  until  she’ll  put  them  back  on  again,  only  for  you  to  probably  end  up  kindly  carrying  them  again  later  tonight.  The  cool  breeze  of  the  September  night  helped  with  the  humidity  and  sweat,  and  the  sun  beautifully  set,  leaving  a  delicate  lilac  color  in  its  wake  which  was  becoming  darker  and  darker  the  further  you  walked.  The  hazy  streetlights  added  to  the  whimsy  atmosphere,  yet  to  be  ruined  with  the  sound  of  an  intolerable  amount  of  bass  and  the  overbearing  smell  of  beer  and  weed  when  the two  of  you  arrived  on  site.  
 “Okay,  I’m  pretty  sure  it’s  this  house!”  Jamie  halted  her  steps,  turning  towards  you,  her  hair  swaying  along  with  the  belled  sleeves  of  her  mesh  turtleneck  she  had  under  her  dress.  The  two  of  you  really  dolled  yourselves  up  for  the  night,  her  hair  was  perfect,  your  hair  was  perfect,  outside  was  perfect,  and  it  brought  you  sobering  back  to  the  not-so-perfect  earth.  The  idea  of  going  inside  a  suffocating,  putrid  house  majorly  crowded  with  drunk  and  hormonal  peers...  was  not  appealing  to  you  in  the  least.   
 “Yup,  and  now  it’s  time  to  turn  back  around!”  You  quipped,  ensnaring  her  arm  with  your  empty  one,  about  to  steer  the  two  of  you  in  a  three-point-turn.  This  was  your  final  chance  at  getting  out  of  your  predicament,  and  now  that  you’re  here  you  regret  playing  along.  Sadly,  Jamie  was  just  as  stubborn  as  you,  and  your  turn  around  was  met  with  a  roadblock. 
 “Oh  my  god,  Y/n,  you’re  joking!  We  walked  the  whole  ass  way  here!”  She  got  out  in  between  puffs  of  airy  frustration,  her  socked  heels  digging  into  the  ground  as  you  attempted,  gracelessly,  to  steer  the  two  of  you  around.    
 “Okay,  okay,  fine.  We  did  come  all  this  way  and  now  our  drinks’ve  worn  off.”  You  acknowledged  with  an  irritated  huff.  “Okay-  how  about  we  go  in  and  get  some  drinks,  and  then  we’ll  leave?!”  Your  pitch  going  up  with  each  word  of  your  attempt  to  negotiate  before  forcing  out  a  chuckle,  your  laugh  did  its  best  to  hide  the  fact  that  your  body  was  beginning  to  stick  with  sweat  and  anxiety. 
“No,  ‘and  then’  we’ll  find  Chris  to  hook  me  up!”  She  playfully  fought  back  but  it  was  hard  to  take  her  seriously,  or  yourself,  with  how  the  two  of  you  were  laughing,  hers  genuine,  yours  not  so  much.  
 “Jesus  Christ,  you  really  are  set  on  this  ‘finding  your  soulmate’  thing.”  You  breathed.  As  much  as  you  hated  social  gatherings,  you  loved  your  best  friend  much,  much  more,  therefore  you  were  willing  to  be  won  over  in  the  name  of  friendship.  Though,  she  would  owe  you  for  this!  Fortunately  for  her,  food  and  drink  is  fair  trade  in  you  and  your  wallet’s  eyes. 
 “I’m  lonely,  okay!  I’d  prefer  winning  the  lottery  but  this  is  the  next  best  thing!”  Jamie,  as  per  usual,  brought  the  two  you  back  right  to  laughter  instantly.  She  had  her  mind  made  up.  Plus,  with  you  giggling  it  made  it  all  the  easier  for  her  to  haul  the  both  of  you  right  up  the  steps  of  the  SKZ  Frat  House  stairs.   
Once  in,  Jamie  stuck  close  to  your  side,  literally,  but  not  that  she  had  the  natural  choice  or  much  of  an  alternative;  this  place  was  packed  to   the  gills!  Jumping  up  on  her  now  platform  clad  feet,  looking  for  anyone  she  recognized  or  any  signs  of  Chris,  while  you  led  the  two  of  you,  hopefully,  to  a  kitchen.  You  were  practically  kicking  yourself  each  step  of  the  way  as  you  shoved  your  way  through  the  crowd.  The  air  was  stuffy  and  possibly  even  toxic,  to  say  the  least.  The  scent  is  much  more  foul  than  last  you  remember,  pungent  with  alcohol,  sweat,  cigarettes,  weed,  hints  of  puke,  and  dashes  of  all  sorts  of  pheromones.  Despite  the  few  times  you’ve  smelled  this  scent,  it  never  failed  to  make  you  wish  you  didn’t  leave  your  safe,  sanitary  bed.   
 There’s  jabbing  elbows  and  flailing  parts  of  strangers  everywhere  that  had  to  be  watched  out  and  dodged  for,  sloshing  cups,  sometimes  drunken  flirtatious  hands  grabbing  at  you,  not  at  all  fazed  by  the  pretty  companion  you  had  your  elbow  linked  with.  The  sway  of  the  hoards  of  people  was  beginning  to  get  you  motion  sick,  but  you  were  determined  to  keep  wading  through,  trying  to  hike  through  this  high  tide,  but  you  couldn’t  help  but  feel  vulnerable.  You  were  cursed  with  a  soft,  approachable  face  that  just  begged  to  be  messed  with.  Even  in  times  like  these,  where  your  thoughts  are  nothing  short  of  bitchy,  the  message  would  never  get  across  with  a  resting  bitch  face.  Your  love  for  dark  attire  didn’t  matter.  Your  baby  face  and  aura  won  every  match.  Not  even  the  eyeliner  and  dark  lipstick  you  preferred  could  save  you.  All  you  could  do  is  hope  that  your  best  friend’s  intimidation  and  delightfully  loud  presence  was  enough  for  the  two  of  you  as  you  keep  planting  one  foot  after  the  other.  
“Fucking  hell!”  You  barely  gasped  out,  finally  freed  out  of  the  main  room,  and  now  into  the  hallway.  The  seasick  claustrophobia  no  longer  had  its  poisonous  grips  on  your  soft,  easy  to  bruise  skin,  though,  you  did  need  to  catch  your  breath.  
 “Finally!”  Jamie  sighed  loudly  and  melodically,  patting  you  on  the  back  and  easily  recovering.  Before  she  headed  straight  into  the kitchen  to  scope  out  the  place,  possibly  for  anyone  she  knew  and,  perhaps,  her   Special  Someone.  
 “So  did  ya  see  anyone  you  knew,  Jame?”  You  called  after  her  upon  entering  what  appeared  to  be  a  stereotypical  scene  of  the  kitchen  during  a  college  party.  Cliche  red  solo  cups  scattered  everywhere,  filled  at  varying  degrees.  A  beer  keg  or  two,  some  cheap  bottles  of  vodka  splayed  about,  remnants  of  ash  from  blunts,  a  couple  or  two  aggressively  making  out  against  the  wall,  and  four  or  five  random  stragglers  fidgeting  with  their  phone or  talking  overly  loudly  to  each  other.  You  know,  the  usual.  
“Ughh,  no”  She  answered  reluctantly.  “They  have  to  be  somewhere  else,  maybe,  like  upstairs  or  downstairs,  right?!”  
Before  you  could  reply,  behind  you,  you  heard  an  enthusiastic  “Jamie!!”  then  a  muffled,  “you  finally  made  it!!”  The  familiar  voice  had  you  jerking  your  head  to  see  if  your  ears  were  failing  you,  evidently,  they  weren’t.  Right  away  you  see  Chris  tackling  Jamie  in  a  hug  before  he  met  your  eyes  with  his  comically  wide  ones.  
“Aaaahhh!!  Y/n’s  here  too?!”
 “Yeah!  Don’t  we  look  cute?”  Jamie  fluffed  up  her  cropped,  newly  dyed  hair  you  helped  her  do,  yours  also  in  a  similar  state.   
“Yeah,  but  Y/n  looks  better.”  He  teased,  giggling  and  slapping  her  in  the  arm;  unsurprising,  as  it’s  their  usual  fashion.   
“Oh  my  god!  Why  did  I  come  here?!  Okay,  we’ll  leave  then,  Chris.”  Jamie  joked  right  back  at  him,  snatching  at  your  hand  like  it  was  a  prize  to  be  won  and  taking  you  away  with  her.  Unfortunately  for  you,  this  was  just  a  well-meaning  joke,  you  weren’t  going  to  be  set  free  from  a  party  anytime  soon.   
 “Nooo!  Don’t  go!!”  He  dramatized,  grabbing  onto  at  Jamie,  halting  her  from  leaving  with  you  in  tow.  Giggling  so  hard,  he  had  to  throw  his  head  back  to  project  it  all.  You  snorted  a  “thank  you”  a  bit  late,  too  busy  laughing.  He  just  gave  you  a  brotherly  slap  on  the  arm,  on  his  way  to  leave  before  Jamie  stopped  him.  
“Wait!  What  about  my  soulmate?  You  said  they'd  be  here,  remember!”  
“Oh?”  Chris’s  eyebrows  scrunched  in  confusion,  Jamie  nodded  with  stern  wide  eyes  which  seemed  to  spark  back  his  doubtful  memory,  “Ahhh…  downstairs…  maybe…  I  think-  hangin’  out!  There’s  a  game  about  to  start-  Oh,  yeah!  That’s  why  I’m  here-”  he  giggled  to  himself,  “to  get  this!”  He  then  snatched  a  full  bottle  of  vodka  from  a  sneaky  cabinet  you  didn’t  know  about  before  ushering  you  guys  along  to  follow  him.  Honestly,  Chris  didn’t  make  it  sound  too  promising  that  Jamie’s  soulmate  could  be  down  there,  but  it’s  the  best  lead  you  got.   
Shyly,  you  followed  behind  the  two  as  he  led  the  way  to  the  basement.  With  Chris  as  your  guide,  it  was  relatively  smooth  sailing,  the  crowd  parting  minimally  to  make  way  for  the  president  of  the  frat.  Before  you  know  it,  you’re  walking  down  some  nasty  ass  carpeted  stairs,  forcing  your  eyes  from  questionable  stains  to  look  for  a  rail  instead  to  hold  onto.  Strangely  enough,  walking  down  the  steps  was  comforting  somehow,  the  feeling  as  if  it  were  inviting  you  in.  Like  it  assigned  you  a  duty  instead  of  the  alienating  fish  out  of  water  experience  you  had  earlier  on  the  main  floor.   
 “I  picked  up  some  stragglers!”  Chris  cheered  as  he  turned  into  the  room.   
 “Yeah,  but  did  you  bring  the  alcohol?”  A  brazen  voice  you’ve  never  heard  before  shot  straight  through  you.  You  could  feel  it  run  through  you  with  tingles  down  your  spine  and  goosebumps  up  your  arms.   
“Hell  yeah  I  did,  ya  jackass!”  
 When  the  two  of  you  turned  the  corner,  the  world  slowed  down  and  your  muscles  instantly  seized  up,  halting  you  into  place  without  consent.  Your  insides  clench  tight,  wrapping  itself  into  a  knot.  Suddenly  you  were  sweating,  but  in  contrast,  your  vision  looked  as  though  you  were  looking  through  a  nice  refreshing  glass  of  pink  lemonade.  Normally  steady  hands  were  now  shaky,  your  ears  and  cheeks  beginning  to  glow  beet  red.  You  could  feel  yourself  beginning  to  sweat  at  the  nape  of  your  neck  and  underarms;  all  this  from  the  sudden  voice  of  the  stranger!  -What?  What’s  going  on?!-    
 Immediately,  your  gaze  pans  around  the  room  before  they  landed  on  the  source,  long-lashed  eyes  holding  a  dark  chocolate  glaze  and  shivering  you  to  the  bone.  Like  a  hooked  fish,  you  couldn’t  look  away.  The  initial  astonishment  of  just  the  sensations  couldn‘t  compare  to  exploring  the  face  in  front  of  you.  
 Chiseled  cheeks,  and  angular  brows.  Pouty  naturally  downturned  lips  were  discovered  underneath  an  impossibly  perfect,  pointy  nose.  Everything  about  him  was  like  the  artwork,  his  slightly  covered  forehead  was  somehow  artistic  as  if  even  the  space  between  the  brow  and  the  hairline  was  something  new  that  your  narrow  mind  could  never  possibly  understand.  His  hairline  soon  revealed  a  head  of  luscious  black  hair,  unrealistically  voluminous,  shiny  and  soft.  Honestly,  his  hair  was  screaming  at  you  to  test  out  if  it  could  be  possible,  that  someone  who  looked  like  this  was  real.  His  entire  face  and  head  on  his  shoulders  didn’t  make  conceivable  sense.  Maybe  it’s  just  you,  but  a  person  this  perfect  couldn’t  exist  and  you  have  yet  to  venture  south  to  see  how  perfect  the  rest  of  him  could  possibly  be.    
 “Y/n?  Are- are  you  okay?”  
 You  vaguely  felt  or  heard  your  best  friend  at  your  side,  but  it  wasn’t  decipherable.  Everything  but  this  guy  in  front  of  you  was  fuzzy,  blurry  to  you.  All  the  energy  in  your  being  focused  on  this  human  in  front  of  you.  His  silky,  messily  parted  locks,  begging  for  you  to  test  if  it  was  as  soft  as  it  looked.  His  sharp  features.  His  lips  a  natural  coral-y  color  that  began  to  shine  and  glimmer  with  saliva  as  his  glossy  tongue  began  to  trail  along  those  chapped  lips.  You  shot  your  eyes  back  to  his,  reeling  you  back  in  like  the  prey  you  began  to  feel.  Oh,  sweet,  sweet  baby  Jesus,  is  this  really  happening?!
 “I-“  both  of  you  started  at  the  same  time.  Embarrassingly  enough,  it  seems  as  though  the  blurry  figures  of  everyone  else  in  the  corner  of  your  eyes  caught  on  to  something  the  two  of  you  were  oblivious  to.  Everyone  started  jumping  and  screaming,  whooping  chaotically,  and  taking  over  your  vision.  The  slow  world  disappeared  in  a  blink,  launching  you  right  back  to  its  now  rapid,  woozy  speed.  With  everyone  pushing  and  shoving  around  you  in  excitement  it  was  not  at  all  helping  with  your  wibbly-wobbly  state.  
Suddenly,  you  felt  many  different  arms  coming  at  you,  wrapping  around  you,  constricting  you,  and  jumping  around  with  you  in  their  arms  in  excitement.  There was  a  deafening  amount  of  rambunctious  hooting  and  hollering  it  was  almost  as  if  the  team  they  were  rooting  for  won  the  SuperBowl.  
 “And  here  I  thought  Y/n  was  Jamie’s  soulmate!”  Chris  guffawed  and  they  all  joined  in,  all  besides  you  and  this  guy- WAIT-  did  Chris  say-  say  ‘soulmate’??  No,  he  couldn’t  have!  
 “Soulmate?”  Equally,  as  soon  as  you  internally  questioned  the  word  choice,  you  heard  his  earth-shattering  voice  speak  again,  despite  the  fact  he  merely  whispered,  softly  wondering  aloud.  He  spoke  aloud  what  you  were  thinking,  right  when  you  thought  it!   
 You  couldn’t  get  enough  of  his  voice,  especially  now  when  you  can’t  see  him  in  the  crowd.  His  voice  was  light,  honey-colored,  dreamy,  just  the  perfect  amount  of  deep,  it  made  you  want  to  taste  his  lips  to  see  if  he’s  as  sweet  as  he  sounded.  You,  yourself,  were  still  in  the  locked-in-place  state,  still  too  shell  shocked  to  even  make  a  step  forward,  your  poor  brain  overworking  itself  to  make  sense  of  any  of  this.   
 “Really?”  In  elated  shock  you  chirped,  slowly  giving  in  to  the  hugs  and  excited  jumping  with  wide  and  confused  eyes.  Is  this  for  real?  This  is  really  happening?!  
“Holy  fuck,  Y/n!”  Jamie  managed  to  get  you,  pulling  you  a  bit  too  crushingly  in  a  hug.  “I  can’t  believe  it!  You  found  your  soulmate  in  this  shitty  basement  and  not  me!”  She  playfully  teased,  there  was  no  ill  will  behind  it.   
 By  now  the  situation  was  beginning  to  sink  in  a  teeny  bit  and  you  were  shocked,  to  say  the  least.  Frankly,  you  were  starting  to  think  that  this  day  would  never  come.  You  had  a  soulmate  and  your  soulmate  looked  like  that!  You  were  over  the  moon,  even  if  you  felt  a  bit  guilty  that  you  found  your  soulmate  at  this  party  instead  of  Jamie.  It  was  the  plan  of this  whole  night,  after  all.  Now  that  it  was  you,  you  didn’t  know  how  to  react.  You  were  completely  and  utterly  unprepared.  
  “I’m  so  sorry,  Jamie.”  You  pulled  her  back  in  closer,  crushing  her  back  into  you,  eyes  watering,  lip  trembling.  “Oh  my  god,  I  think  I  might-  I  think  I  might  cry.”  You  hiccupped  into  her  chic  mesh  turtleneck  and  dress  combo.  This  is  too  much.  Too  too  much.   
 “Heyy!~  Don’t  feel  bad  for  me!  It’s  okay!”  Jamie  simply  chortled,  patting  your  head  deeper  into  her  chest,  her  usual  protocol  if  you  were  about  to  seriously  cry.  
Humiliatingly  enough,  you  heard  a  few  guys  begin  to  chant  “don’t  cry!”  in  the  background.  Your  small  moment  of  sincerity  and  calm  was  soon  interrupted  by  Chris.   
 “Well  isn’t  this  fun!  You  know  what  this  means!”~   
“Minho’s  soulmate’s  a  lil’  bitch?”  You  heard  Jisung,  the  kid  whom  you  shared  your  major  and  many  classes  with,  taunt.  His  words  forcing  you  forward,  ready  to  fight  the  kid.  He’s  a  child,  literally   a  child!  Why  do  I  associate  myself  with  him?!  I  swear  to  god-
 “Hey,  hey,  hey!  It  was  a  joke!”  He  squeaked  away  from  you.  He  was  too  speedy,  no  chance  for  you  and  your  heavy  ass  boots  stomping  after  him.  Safely,  he  skidded  behind  the  couch,  behind  whom  you’re  assuming  is  “Minho”,  which  had  your  boots  screeching  to  a  halt.  
Though  you  were  scrambling  after  Jisung,  your  eyes  naturally  met  Minho’s  as  you  halted.  Once  again,  your  body  is  preparing  to  either  fight  or  flight.  His  face  was  glowing  like  he  was  some  sort  of  ethereal  being,  wracked  up  in  deep,  attractive  concentration.  In  contrast,  your  face  was  beginning  to  burn  up  an  embarrassing  amount,  your  body  already  turning  into  inoperable  mush.  You  couldn’t  say  anything  if  you  tried.  Any  sentence  structure  your  brain  tried  to  form  didn’t  make  any  grammatical  or  logical  sense,  your  mind  racing  like  a  hamster  on  a  wheel.  Your  neural  pathways  were  glowing,  steaming  with  this  sudden  overstimulation,  leading  you  to  the  same  frazzling  answer  each  and  every  time: 
This  person  right  in  front  of  you?  Yeah,  that’s  your  soulmate. 
 A  hush  was  spread  throughout  the  previously  hype  basement,  all  eyes  immersed  in  the  two  of  you  speechlessly  enraptured  in  each  other.  The  longer  you  stood  there, the  more  you  could  take  him  in  and  get  used  to  him  and  the  idea  of  him.  You  were  warming  up  to  him,  he  became  more  and  more  real  with  each  millisecond.  You've  studied  his  eyes  so  passionately  now  that  could  see  his  dark  chocolatey  pupils  when  you  closed  your  eyes.  You  were  no  longer  overwhelmed  but  now  enchanted  by  his  features  and  general  presence.  His  cheekbones  are  no  longer  an  unfamiliar  art  piece.  His  aura  was  still  intimidating  as  before,  but  now  it  appeared   to  the  cheeky  kind  of  way  like  you  wanted  to  see  what  amount  of  scary  he  was  capable  of.  It  was  a  long,  jittery,  drawn-out  pause  before  anything  happened,  not  that  you  noticed.  
 “Out  of  genuine  free  will,”  You  just  smiled,  staring  at  his  naturally  downturned  lips.  Only  by  reading  his  lips  did  you  pay  attention  to  what  he  was  saying-  Wait,  what?
“I,  Lee-”  Hold on a second.  
“Minho-”  No.  
“Exercise  the  divine  right  to”  This  isn’t  happening  to  me.  This  isn’t- 
“Reject  my  sacredly  designed-” happening.  No.  No.  It  can’t  be.  It’s  not  p-   
“Soulmate.”  -ossible.  
The  electric,  exciting,  high  energy  pause  between  us  fell  and  wilted.  Died  just  like  that.  The  connected  red  strings  that  tied  Minho  and  yourself  were  chopped  off  on  his  own  accord,  bringing  icy  cold  into  the  room  in  its  wake.  A  harsh  blizzard  overwhelming  the  space.  Gasps  of  shocked  air  were  being  taken  in  from  everyone  in  this  basement,  everyone,  including  Lee  Minho.  
 You  got  a  gasp  of  bitter  cold  in  through  your  lungs  before  you  were  struck  like  lightning.  Lightning  of  feverish  torture  took  over  your  body,  struck  you  directly  in  the  heart  and  brain  before  it  flashed  through  your  veins  carrying  the  harsh  poison  of  rejection.  
   You  heard  a  pathetic  squawk  tear  its  way  out  of  your  chapped  lips,  the  anguish  forcing  you  down  to  your  knees  as  if  you  were  directly  stabbed  in  the  heart.  The  electric,  immediate  painful  reaction  faded,  bringing  boiling  throbs  through  all  your  cells,  not  leaving  one  out.  It  was  unlike  anything  you  could  describe,  no,  imagine.  It  was  as  if  the  blood  in  your  veins  was  replaced  with  boiling  water  and  your  heart  was  simultaneously  squeezed  and  electrocuted  in  the  grasps  of  electric  hands.  Maybe  it  was  the  hands  of  Satan  dragging  you  down  with  him.
Blurrily,  through  fresh,  hot  tears,  you  swear  you  could  see  Minho  physically  flinch  in  response,  immediately,  sprinting  out  of  the  room  as  if  he  was  escaping  from  a  house  on  fire. 
 That  was  the  last  you  saw  before  it  all  faded  to  black. 
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onestowatch · 4 years
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Boy Willows Drops Dreamy Music Video for "Fila" [Q&A]
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Boy Willows, aka Landon Fleischman, makes music that offers a deep amalgamation of incandescent alt-pop, jubilant jazz, and psychedelic-tinged folk. Impeccably paired with sensory lyricism and passionate vocals, he delivers a hypnotic and singular resonance.
The LA-via-Maryland artist recently shared his new single "Fila" with Dylan Minnette of Wallows. On "Fila," Boy Willows stretches out to embrace relatable themes of vulnerability and healing both inwardly and outwardly without feeling overbearingly serious. "Fila" serves as a therapy session between two friends as they cope with being alone in different ways. Nestled in a warm and gentle soundscape, the sonic components are woven with nostalgia, charm, and a bit of whimsy. We caught up with Willows for a quick Q&A about the track and the equally nostalgic and whimsical music video directed by Boy Willows, shot by Seannie Bryan (Madeline Kenney, Skullcrusher) and edited by Jordan Pories.
Ones to Watch: This song, although short and sweet, seems to have a lot of complexity to it. It sounds like throughout the single, the main characters are grappling with feelings of loneliness and figuring out how to cope. What is this song about to you, and how did this song come to be?
Boy Willows: I think both verses deal with the thoughts that bubble up when you feel useless, small, or alone, but what I love about the song is there's a twinge of hope. My goal with Fila was to spur myself into believing that I could create my own reality of acceptance and momentum. I had been feeling isolated a while before the pandemic hit - on the perimeter looking in on other people's social circles or relationships or success. My hope was that by acknowledging these truths in a song, I could start to take up my own space, make my own club of acceptance per se.
What was the creative process like for the single? What made you want to go for this very ethereal sound, and were you inspired by anything in particular?
I worked on this super grand, minute-long glitchy harmony thing and pitched it down an octave (oooo). It was so soothing and slow and big, I started producing around it, and I felt like I was in a dream where I could say anything I wanted, no matter how heavy or light.
What are your thoughts on girls that wear Fila?
Haha, in short, they're cool. This song is truly a peek into all the thoughts that were swirling around my brain, making me feel alone - and one of those thoughts was about aging. I wish this wasn't the truth, but I was feeling fear about getting older. I wrote that line about Filas and didn't think much of it or even really understand why I wrote it until a couple nights ago. It's definitely a light-hearted observation about youth culture, but I think I wanted to poke fun at it cuz I felt like I wasn't a part of it for the first time - and that frightened me. It's insane that even that line was born out of the fear of being left out, but I'm pretty sure that's the true true.
I loved not only the sonic atmosphere you created, but also the story of you told through the lyrics. Do you have a favorite verse from this track or one that speaks to you? What is your approach when it comes to songwriting?
I just love how much the endings of each verse stick out - "I just feel like I don't deserve this life." It's a line you could interpret so many different ways, and each way would be true. When I'm working on a song, it starts with the music. I picture where it takes me, how fast I'm moving, if I feel cool or angry or defeated, and if I'm lucky, a phrase will fall out of my mouth that feels true, even if it doesn't make sense at first.
I think the music video does a great job of visualizing the lightheartedness of "Fila." What was the creative process like, and what was it like working with your team on the video?
There's this fucking incredible animated video called Satiemania from 1978 made by this Croatian animator, Zdenko Gašparović. In it, there's a delectable section where it's just different shoes walking in an impossibly groovy way. I wanted that tone of animation mixed with the camaraderie and fuckit-energy of The Pharcyde's "Drop" music video. I brought those ideas to my genius creative friend/ shaman, Jordan Pories, and we got to work, exploring the world of the song, trying to amplify and showcase everything in a dreamy, slow way. Seannie Bryan is a recent friend of mine and a killer DP. She captured the dreamy light perfectly. We rolled up to the spot at 6am. It was 90 degrees, and we knocked it out in an hour and a half, only stopping once because I was going to throw up from spinning.
Dylan Minette's voice perfectly compliments the laid back yet introspective vibe of the song, and it looked like y'all had a lot of fun doing the music video. What was working with him like, and how did he get involved with this single?
He and I go way back. We used to be in rival boy scout gangs. No, I do lighting for Wallows, and we met through that. One day on the tour bus, I was showing him some new tunes, one of which was "Fila." It was 35 seconds, and he said it needed to be longer, so I said, "hop on in." He added his verse, and we were OFF TO THE RACES. He's got a really strong creative compass and just knows what he likes. We finished the song in a couple days - fucking painless, dare I say, very enjoyable bordering on a lot of fun.
Tell me about Desert Mike. I feel like although rattlesnakes do deserve some love and I agree that the war between them and human beings is senseless, I'm not exactly in a rush to give them a pat on the head...Ok, but for real, tell me about this clip at the end. Is it an easter egg for a future single? In your last single, "i love it when you talk," you intercut the clips of you with film footage from the 80s and 90s. Is Desert Mike a Boy Willows creation or a relic from the past?
SHEESH, am I paying you?? because if not, then I SHOULD. The Boy Willows canon is a long, meandering labyrinth of characters that doesn't conform to traditional standards of "time" or "being funny" or "good. Desert Mike exists in all Boy Willows worlds, though, this much I can say. In the ILIWYT video, Desert Mike easily could have made a feature, and now I want to know who you've been talking to...your ability to connect the dots is...suspicious.
Has the pandemic effected you or inspired you as an artist? If so, how?
Really hot take comin at ya, I think the pandemic is not good. Bad even! I lost my job, so financially, I've been very inspired to survive haha. This isn't the sexiest answer, but the truth for me is, I put everything into my music but am also looking for a job - sometimes balancing those two things is really fucking hard. Instead of feeling inspired to write about my difficulties, I just want to solve them. So I'm really looking forward to landing a part-time gig as a call representative for Spirit Airlines, so I can get back to making my music.
Once the world comes to a state of a new normal, what's the first thing you want to do?
I'd love to travel somewhere new with my friends. A friend of mine is living in New Zealand working on an alpaca farm. You bet your ass I'm flying there at the first chance.
Alternate fun idea: Get a table at a restaurant, deep in the back, as far inside as possible. Order one appetizer every 30 minutes and stay there for a minimum of nine hours, just being so loungey and just snacking hard, mozzarella sticks flying every which way, napping in marinara sauce.
When shows and concerts are back, who do you want to see, and who do you want to tour or play with?
When touring comes back, I would LOVE to tour with Jadu Heart, Far Caspian, Sure Sure, to name a few. I just want to crowd surf for a month straight honestly. Give a ton of sweaty hugs. I want to see Toro y Moi, Thumpasaurus, Squirrel Flower.
Who have you been listening to throughout the pandemic? Are there any Ones To Watch?
A lot of Tribe Called Quest for long drives. I'll put "Check The Rhime" on repeat. I just discovered this dude named Shuttle his song "Boy" is fucking groooovy. I'm an OG KT Tunstall stan too - I've been bumping her 2013 album "Invisible Empire" like a mad man. Kevin Morby for the campy vibes, Rufus for the stank, Lomelda for the love, Van Morrison because if I get married, my first dance will be to "Crazy Love," and I like to daydream about that when I drive. Last but most important, The Prince of Egypt soundtrack.
Oh also, I've been listening to a lot of Anna Burch, Far Caspian, Bea1991, a compilation of geese wearing hats, Mei, Shuttle and this new artist you HAVE to listen to - he's a little out there but give him a try, Drake.
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[Where My Twin Watches]: Full Metal Alchemist Brotherhood Episode 13
I’m back! Took a little break to watch Rebellion, mostly recovered from that so I can return to watching this light-hearted tale of whimsy and hahaha no. Onwards with Brotherhood!
Episode 13 - “Beasts of Dublith” Izumi’s talking about Ed seeing “it” and surviving. Ooh, do we get info on Truth this episode? [Izumi]: “Regardless, I can’t accept the decision you made. You’re expelled.” What?! Teacher turns away, tells them to get on a train. Ed just bows and thanks her for everything. ...wow, I’d forgotten how hard this show can hit. Huh, same intro? I thought this was the halfway point of the season, don’t animes usually switch things up at this point? ...at the very least, I’d like them to change the into so I don’t have to see Hughes again at the beginning of each episode YES I’M STILL BITTER. Sig’s seeing them off at the station, saying they should drop by if they’re ever in town again. Sorry buddy, but I don’t thin- [Sig]: “You idiots! You’re so busy pouting you can’t see what your expulsion means; You aren’t her students anymore, so now you’re finally free to speak to Izumi as equals!” Oh. Ohhhh. Ok, so that was her way of ‘graduating’ them. I can see it. [Sig]: “Unless, of course, you’re too chicken to try it.” Suddenly Ed facepalms? There’s something you forgot to do? I thought the point of the trip was to visit your old Teacher. [Sig]: “Don’t let her kill you.” ...Gee, thanks for the advice. Ed gets back to the butcher shop GAH good thing Ed’s quick enough to duck knives. Izumi is not happy to see him again. But the Elric Brothers say that they’ve come looking for a way to get their bodies back, and that they are staying. A staredown commences.
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Izumi… relents? Huh, I thought she would have kept this up until you stopped calling her Teacher. Time to talk about “the Truth”! Al didn’t see it, doesn’t even really know what it means. Izumi says he lost his memory from the shock… oh! Yeah, if the cost of what Ed saw was his leg, for Al to lose his entire body as the “toll”? Oh good grief you two, stop talking about how “awful” and “horrifying” it was, you’re scaring the kid. Izumi’s got a lead in an acquaintance who might be able to retrieve the memory. But first, dinner! Eavesdropper! We’ve got a Gollum taking a peek in the window, confirming that Ed can transmute human souls. Oh wow that’s a tail, is this guy part-Gecko? Back at Eastern Command, some old guy with bifocals is playing chess with Roy, expositing that he’s transferring in one week. (Subtitles say) General Grumman is giving the standard platitudes of “it won’t be the same without you”, “I got to relax thanks to your hard work”, ect ect. Hmm, noting that his glasses are consistently shiny, not a good sign. Ooh, that was a flinch, and yup, checkmate. Good job Roy! Grumman plays it off as a “going away gift”, Roy presses this charitable mood. Hello there, Master Sergeant Kain Fuery. Gotta be honest here, I’m still holding the loss of Fuhrer Fury against you, here’s hoping you can be a good enough character to overcome that bias. We’ve also got Warrant Officer Vato Falman, Second Lieutenant Heymans Breda, Second Lieutenant Jean Havoc-
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No, not that Jean. And First Lieutenant Riza Hawkeye as well. Seems that Roy’s added them to his own transfer, they’ll join him in Central. No objections! [Havoc]: “I’ve got a problem, sir. See, I just started dating this girl and I really like her.” [Roy]: “Dump her.” Wow. Remind me not to go to Roy for relationship advice. What is it you see in this guy again, Riza? Cut to some dude working out with a crude dumbbell. Oh hey it’s Scar! How’s it going buddy? Apparently he’s not supposed to be working out, the Ishvalan kid Rick chides him for aggravating his wounds. He opens the tent for someone else, and Scar looks shocked? [Scar]: “Master!” Ooh, a parallel episode! The Elrics and Scar working with their old teachers! I like these! Master’s talking with Scar now, saying he knows that his student’s been targeting State Alchemists. But regardless of their crimes, such vengeance will only cause further violence. Senseless revenge, feeding a fruitless cycle of death? Man this Master pulls no punches. He tells Scar to end this cycle once and for all- Suddenly two non-Ishvalans poke their heads into the tent, identify Scar and start talking about a bounty. Uh oh. Either Scar’s gonna ignore his Master, or we’ll find out why this guy is called Master even in the subtitles. Third guy is hiding behind some rubble, Ishvalan bystanders yell at Yoki for bringing bounty hunters. Man, another whiny Elric antagonist? Oh yeah, I’m sure that you’ll “rise up” and take your revenge. Total faith in you buddy. Off-topic, do you mind telling me when you plan to face them? I want to know when so I can sell tickets I mean show my support. Scar realizes that he’ll only bring more trouble, however irritating, if he stays there. Yyyyeah, you bounty hunters had no idea who you were messing with. One dismembering and face-grab later, Scar doesn’t even bother with Yoki, just dons sunglasses once more.
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Master tries one more guilt-trip (“Your brother would be sad”), we get a dramatic zoom at Scar’s tattooed arm. Scar just says it’s too late to turn back now, and walks off.
Al’s sweeping outside the butcher shop when a ball of paper’s thrown at his feet. A note from Gecko-Man, Bido? Oh wow a place called “Devil’s Nest”, I’m sure it’s a quite reputable business. Some guys sniffs and jumps down to join Bido and a lady in the street, to greet Al as he walks up. A meeting? Ooh, did you guys try to blackmail Al? This can only end well. Nose-Man (Dolcetto) tries to get Al to come with them, one “Ooh, I’m just a widdle kid” act later… Uh oh! So while Dolcetto went down like a punk, Tatoo-Lady (Martel) took the advantage to get inside Al’s armor, slow him down for an older guy (Roa) to show up for a turn and wrestle the armor to the ground. [Al]: “You people aren’t human, are you?” No, really? What gave it away, the guy with a giant gecko tail? [Greed]: “Good guess! They’re Chimeras… And they happen to work for me.” Wait, Greed? Aw crap it’s another Goth! The Terminator from the intro, no less! So Al’s in some sort of basement now, Martel still keeping him controlled from inside the armor while Greed is starting some sort of pitch. So wait, how is Greed connected to the rest of the Goths? I can see he has the Uroboros tattoo on his hand like the others, but I’m getting a different vibe from him. Al asks what they really are, they can’t be Chimera’s because the only “talking Chimera” we’ve seen before was something I really don’t want to remember. Greed just says to not believe everything the government says. Martel’s part-snake, Roa was… cow? Ok. Throw in a lizard (still gonna call him gecko), a crocodile, and a dog. Man, Dolcetto’s not having a good time this episode. As for how these Human-Chimeras are possible, Greed says that they were created by the military. But he’s even more uncommon than they are: he’s a Homunculus. Wait, a Homunculus? Are you sure you’re using the right term there? I can understand Chimera, a mix of species, but my understand of Homunculi is that they’re mini-humans, basically familiars. Oh ok, so apparently the definition of a Homunculus in Brotherhood is a more general “artificially created human”. Flashback to Baby!Elrics studying alchemy, raising the point that yeah that’s Human Transmutation isn’t it? Al is really upset by this claim, saying that it’s just an unproven theory. So Greed says he’ll prove it SWEET LETO WHAT THE TRUTH ok Roa just went Thor on Greed’s skull, the corpse falls. But Al barely has time to ask what the heck that was for when the body raises a hand in a “wait a moment” gesture, and red sparks fly as Greed reforms good as new. Huh. So we’ve already know that the Goths are hard to put down (knife to the forehead), but to completely regenerate after your brain is splattered? Yeah, this is gonna be tough. So, back to why they’ve captured Al? Oh, that’s why? Sure Greed’s got a body that can recover from normally fatal injuries, but he still “dies”. Meanwhile, he’s got a moving, talking suit of armor right here! A body that never dies… Now this is really interesting, looking at two concepts of immortality: a regenerating organic form, or an unchanging metal form. Transhumanism, ho! Still, I don’t think that this is a form of “immortality” that you want, Greed. You want the finer things in life? Get yourself stuck in armor like Al, and you lose your sense of touch and taste. And you don’t strike me as the kind of guy who’s willing to give those up. Greed’s pushing to know how Al got his soul in the armor, Al truthfully says that he can’t remember how and that it wasn’t him who did it. So Greed’s gonna have to talk to the original caster. [Ed]: “Now where’d a seven-foot tall suit of armor run off to?” Bido tries to make Ed pay to know where his brother is. Bido gets used to open the basement door. Al tells Ed that Greed’s a Homunculus (“Hey! Way to ruin it.”), and that he might be able to help them with their body problem. But Greed shows off his Uroboros tattoo, which he has to know that Ed recognizes. Greed says that “they don’t talk much anymore.” A falling out? Greed makes his pitch: He’ll teach them how to make a Homunculus (to transfer their souls to?), if they teach him how to transfer a soul. “Classic equivalent exchange.” EEC: 8 Finally, I get to update that count! Given how much the phrase made Tephi snicker I thought I’d be hearing it more often, best I can tell the last time was… ugh, Tucker. Moving on. Well of course you don’t understand why Al would want his body back, Greed. You don’t know the limitations. [Greed]: “You’re joking, right? You don’t need to eat, you don’t need to sleep, you don’t even need to use the toilet! Sounds great to me!” Yup. Ed’s pissed. Greed can only applaud his monologue. There you go Dolcetto, go ahead and get Worfed. But Greed puts up much more of a fight, going into the terminator mode from the intro, blocking all of Ed’s attacks as an Ultimate Shield. So Ed’s basically fighting MGR’s Armstrong, then? “Homunculus, son!” [Greed]: “Oh. You’re one of those guys. You don’t care if someone beats the crap out of you, but if someone lays a hand on a family member you completely freak out. What a waste… you lose your temper like this and you’re gonna lose my information and your brother.” But Ed thinks he still has a chance. Until Greed shows that he was holding back so he didn’t have to cover up his pretty face. Sig’s found the dropped broom, evidence that the boys have gone missing. Because Leto forbid they skip out on their chores and invoke Izumi’s wrath. A passerby says they were seen going into a bar called the Devil’s Nest. In said bar, Ed is [SUFFERING IN PAIN], literally breaking his automail on Greed and getting thrown around. But he has a plan? Oh yeah, Alchemy! He shorts out Greed’s Ultimate Shield to bust up his organic hand, Greed grows it back quickly and remarks that that was bizarre. Another attack, and stalagmites to the chest! Chemistry for the win! Since Greed told Ed that he was human, Ed knew that a third of his body was made of carbon. He figured that Greed was using that to make his shield, just rearranging the atoms. So all Ed had to do was rearrange them right back, graphite instead of diamond. Alright! Big Letodamn Hero entrance by Izumi! Who throws a mook at Ed and yells at him for not putting the broom away. [Greed]: “Oh give me a break. Don’t tell me you’re going to try and start anything, lady. It’s no fun fighting a woman.”
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Time for Housewife Beatdown! *credits* ...Damn it! 
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GHOST ON HOW THEIR SATANIC CATHEDRAL TURNED INTO A FAMILY AFFAIR
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Inside the extremely fun and incredibly satanic world of the pop-metal darlings.
Ghost have created something so special, you would almost think they struck a deal with the devil. Since their 2006 formation, the Swedish metal outfit have turned lyrics about defecating the holy eucharist into quaint singalongs, sold marital aids sculpted in the shape of their frontman’s head, performed on late-night TV to an audience of the demonically possessed and are currently playing stadium shows with Metallica—and all the while, they’ve only been giving it about 20-30%.
“This sounds like a joke, and I’m saying it sort of smiling, but it’s true—everything you’ve ever seen us do has always been a lesser version of what I had in mind. Always. 100%. So my original vision for everything is always twice as ambitious and goes through so many changes that we usually end up with 20 or 30% of it,” Tobias Forge says, also currently known as Cardinal Copia.
Forge, 38, is the Walt Disney figure “band boss” who conducts the decadent dark magic and weird whimsy that are Ghost—a band as humorous as they are blasphemous; as Beach Boys as they are Black Sabbath. They’re arguably the only group who can make an ABBA cover feel like it belongs on a record that contains a track about the conception of the Antichrist.
For those still uninitiated in the theatricality of the band’s iconography and public persona, Ghost are a band of nameless ghouls adorned in uniform black clerical garb and chrome-plated devil masks that are blank-eyed and devoid of mouths and any distinctive facial features. Forge has portrayed a different persona for each of the band’s records, always the demonic leader of the group. He’s been four versions of the satanic antipope, Papa Emeritus, over the course of their first three records and currently assumes the role of Cardinal Copia for their latest release, 2018’s Prequelle. Copia is a loose-skinned, expressionless creature of the Id decked out in a lavish tuxedo and inverted crosses galore, but regardless of the persona, the man behind the unholy imp strives to fully embody his role.
“What I like, especially when you’re stepping into a character, is never to be forced to step out of that character, which you have to do at times,” Forge says. “You allow yourself to become that weirdo onstage that dances ridiculously and does those things, and it just comes naturally. That gives me a kick because I personally transform into someone that I’m not really myself, at least when I’m sober. I’m not very much like that guy onstage in real life, but I can invoke that person by getting all that shit on, getting into character and going up onstage and that thing just happens. All of a sudden, I think differently, I say almost whatever comes into mind…it’s allowing yourself to just go on every impulse, and that’s what makes that character funny as well—he’s obnoxious.”
Throughout the history heavy music, there have been many theatrical bands, but Ghost are not only theatrical, they are theater. The band members are fully committed to their parts. The Nameless Ghouls are truly that—Nameless Ghouls; when onstage, Forge is absolved of himself and exists solely as Cardinal Copia. Forge’s full commitment to concept and character requires him to not only assume the roles of songwriter and frontman, but he also serves as the band’s chief playwright and director. Regardless of role or job description, Forge is, more than anything, an artist possessed by one thing: the idea of finding an unpremeditated flow.
“There is a narrative for every album cycle, and I do envision every show as a play, slightly more than your traditional rock ’n’ roll show even though we are a rock ’n’ roll band,” he explains. “It’s also, to the point, theatrical improvisation, in the vein of Bruce Springsteenwhere he asks the crowd, ‘What do you want to hear?’ That would not work with Ghost. It would disrupt the flow. It’s just not orchestrated that way. It’s not written that way. The setlists would crumble as soon as someone would yell out ‘Monstrance Clock,’ which is our last number. If we played that second, it would fuck up the whole thing. Whereas other bands and other artists, like Bruce Springsteen, have such a massive [catalog] of songs. He has so many ballads and so many uptempo songs that he knows that ‘I can play seven of them in the beginning, and it doesn’t matter because I still have 14 of them in the end.’ So he get away with doing four hours of that.
“As I said, I’m a stickler for flow,” he continues. “I really want it to flow like a Karate kata. I really want it to be like The Matrix when everything just slows down, and he just stands there. It just flows right through me. That’s what I want to achieve every night. So therefore, I regard it as a little bit more of a theater play where there’s a script, and my goal is to do it as fluently as I can without thinking. I don’t want to overthink things at all, and once I step into the character, I preferably want to stop thinking, because if I start thinking, then I start going through the moves, and I start faking it, and that’s what I want to avoid. By having a rigid setlist and a plan, I’m able to get myself and everyone else to do that.”
To many, the early allure of Ghost was how fully devoted the group’s players were to their parts, predicated on the clandestine charm of no one knowing the identities of the band’s members. The faces and names of Papa Emeritus and his Nameless Ghouls were completely shrouded in a secrecy that helped ease their fans into fully suspending disbelief and treating the presentation of the music with as much gravitas as a satanic clergy would command. In deep pockets of the sect, the name “Tobias Forge” had been whispered and attached to the Papa Emeritus character for most of their career, but it wasn’t until 2017 that Forge’s identity would be publicly confirmed as the ringleader of the group.
“I had come to a point in my life and in my career where not doing certain things was not doing me any favors,” he reveals. “It was making life hard, harder than I felt was necessary, and I just felt like now, almost 10 years into my career, the time and effort that I’m putting into the visual presentation should be so strong and so overshadowing whatever I do as a person on the side. So far, I’ve gotten the impression that that’s still the case. As long as I don’t overcompensate that, I don’t think that I will ever do anything that will overshadow the real focus of what I want Ghost to be.”
The 2019 Grammys provided Forge an opportunity to further challenge the public’s perception of Ghost. For the first time, Forge appeared in public as himself—stripped of all elements of pagan pageantry and accompanied by his wife. The couple walked the red carpet, posed for photos together and Forge conducted interviews without any trace of his Cardinal Copia alter ego.
“A lot of fans seem to embrace a lot of things that are mine, like my personal traits, and I’ve tried not to bring that into my presentation,” he shares. “But if they hold on to those and want to include it in their perception, there’s really nothing I can do about that. As long as they find that enriching or interesting, then…fine. The only thing would be those fans, who liked Ghost on the premise that it was something that they knew nothing about, and seeing my face on the red carpet may have destroyed all that and they don’t listen to Ghost anymore…OK. Too bad. These are the turmoils and tribulations that you stand in front of as an artist, you know? [Laughs.] You can’t let that dictate your life just because you’re aware of it.”
The meteoric rise of the band’s notoriety is nothing short of stunning. Throughout their career, the throughline of their material is the one thing they’ve never attempted to keep secret—this band make music about worshipping the devil. There’s nothing discreet or hidden. There is no veil of metaphor to pull aside, no subtlety. They write songs about Lucifer, and they perform on a stage that’s designed to give their audience the experience of attending a satanic church service. Throughout their catalog, they have songs that romanticize plagues, call for the coming of the Antichrist and very literally glorify the dark lord Lucifer, yet their latest release was sold in Target stores with two exclusive bonus tracks and a collectible lenticular album cover.
They’re the rare band who can fully embrace controversial and culturally taboo subject matter without listeners having to play their records backward to find it, yet they write such inherently catchy pop hooks that songs such as “Dance Macabre” are the perfect soundtrack for both your occult worship ritual after-party and something you could probably play if you were driving your mom to the grocery store. They’ve found a way to stay true to the Black Mass and still speak to the masses, and with that unique platform comes an extremely diverse audience and a fanbase who has grown out of the traditional heavy-metal demographic.
“When we’re playing bigger places for some reason, it’s a little more of a family event, to a certain extent,” Forge says. “The people are more in tune with the level that what we want to have it because we’ve been trying to get the point across that we want people to be excited. We want people to stand. We want general admission, big floor in front of the stage. I don’t like seeing frowns. I don’t like seeing feet, but you can’t start moshing. You can’t start hitting people. You can’t stage dive because there are kids everywhere, and there are small girls everywhere, and there are teenage boys and girls that cannot lift you because, you know, you’re a 40-year-old hardcore dude with a lot of muscle. You can’t jump on them.
“I think there’s often a clash sometimes—we are a metal band, originally,” he continues. “Sometimes there have been these clashes where you have the die-hard fans who’ve been with the band ever since [the beginning] who are used to going to metal shows only, and they want to claim Ghost as ‘this,’ and at a metal show, you do ‘this,’ and then you have this 15-year-old daughter of a dad, and they did not go to see Mayhem last week, and they were not at Slayer three weeks ago.”
In support of Prequelle, Ghost have been playing two-and-a-half hour sets with the ultimate goal of having their audience “come in overexcited and leave completely euphoric.” Currently, they’re touring as direct support for Metallica. The tour is further indication of the band’s rising celebrity, having earned the opportunity to play a one-hour set every night, but the gig has also posed a challenge to Forge’s ever-persistent pursuit of “flow.”
“It’s very different from the tours we’ve done so far in this cycle, because it’s supporting again,” he explains. “It’s stadiums. We’re playing for one hour, which is nothing for us. But the stage is four times bigger than an arena stage or a theater stage, so there’s a lot of real estate to cover, and it’s daytime. More often than not, it’s going to be maybe sunset, at best, but it’s going to be an afternoon or evening sun, straight in your face and also, not our crowd. It’ll be a Metallica crowd. They’re waiting for Metallica to play, so it’s a different vibe.”
Although touring in the Metallica support slot, Ghost have been afforded their full stage production setup, transforming the nightly stadium into a cathedral dedicated to Copia’s depraved church—giving the performers a fitting stage and the audience a fully immersive experience. Yet, despite the garish stage pieces and meticulously ornate sets that become more and more elaborate with his band’s growth, Forge heeds to the idea that with everything he does, what the audience sees is a compromised version of his initial vision. Whatever you see Ghost do is about 20-30% of what Forge wants it to be. Currently, Forge is fixated on the potential he sees in using the intermission during their two-hour set to elevate the show to the next level of theatricality.
“The idea with the intermission, originally, was for the stage to change so when we open up again, it would be a different stage. Things like that are what I’m aiming to do in the future if we can stay on an arena level, where we can bring our own stage. Then I would like to do that—whatever we started with ends up being something completely different. I want it to evolve. I want it to change, the same as when you go to see Phantom Of The Opera. They change the themes, and it takes you from A to F, and that’s what I’m hoping to achieve in the end. I think we’re doing a good job of getting people happy and euphoric, but I definitely think we could probably shift gears even more to get people completely euphoric when they leave. But it takes time, and there’s a lot of stars that need to align, and there’s a lot of things you need to work your way up to in order to have that consistency.”
So far, the stars have aligned for Ghost in ways that often never manifest themselves past the point of prayer. Their unlikely amalgam of occult phantasmagoria and radio-ready mass appeal is most likely a once-in-a-lifetime deal—but while it’s happening, Forge is fully devoted to serving Ghost’s congregation.
“I have no problem playing the same songs all the time as long as you have a crowd, as long as you have people there to do it with you,” he asserts.. “So that’s the one thing I’m always hoping for…happiness.”
The band’s latest Prequelle is available now here. Ghost are hitting a handful of U.S. festival weekends and returning in September for a full run. You can check out a full list of dates and tickets here.
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Okay, so I was tagged by the incandescent pineapple-scented land mermaid @village-skeptic 
Sorry it took me so long to do this. In my defense, I am very very lazy:
nicknames: Never. I have always been called by my full first name, even as a small child. I think I was probably too serious for anything to really stick. I love the trope of using someone’s last name as a nickname, but my last name is deeply terrible and uncool, so even though I would love to participate in that, I would cringe if anyone called me by my last name.
zodiac sign: I’m an Aries, but I don’t feel like I fit the Aries profile very well. It’s neither here nor there really, since don’t really put a lot of stock in astrology. However, I do sometimes feel kind of wistful when those “the signs as...” posts go around, and never hit the mark for me.
height: 5′1″. I will give almost anything for 4 more inches. All leg please!
hogwarts house: All signs point to Ravenclaw, but with a VERY STRONG Hufflepuff rising. I’m super brave to the point of recklessness, but only on other people’s behalf. I would probably let you murder me out of, you know, not wanting to be impolite to a murderer, but look at one of my friends funny and I will throw down in the street! I’m the mom friend who gets tequila drunk and then threatens offers to fight all the dudes - creepy or otherwise - who are hitting on my girls.
last thing i googled: “Anthony Perkins.” Over the holiday weekend I had a big argument with one of my friends about whether Anthony Perkins was in a movie version of Hello Dolly! I knew it wasn’t the Barbara version, but I was sure there was something. I’m going to claim victory, because he was in The Matchmaker, which is the play Hello Dolly! was based on. Did you guys know it was written by Thorton Wilder? !!! And OMG what a cast - Shirley Booth, Robert Morse, Shirley MacLaine!
fave musicians: Too many to list. I generally like everything, except really commercial country music, and even then I could probably be tricked into liking something if the lyrics are good. The musicians I’ve seen live the most include: The Pixies, Metric, Fishbone, Decemberists, Matthew Sweet, and John Prine. I also really love Baroque music.
song stuck in your head: This is actually @village-skeptic‘s fault for posting it earlier: Personal Jesus. Also, I may have mentioned before I wanna [redacted] Dave Gahan. Like a screen door in a hurricane.
following: 138
followers: 40. I’m gonna quote Mike Conovan here: Not much meat on her, but what's there is cherce. Every single one of my followers is a g-d delight. You make my life better!
do you get asks: Almost never! Not sure why. I hope it’s not because ppl find me off-putting, but I wouldn’t be me if I didn’t kind of fear that.
amount of sleep: Generally I get 7 1/2 or 8 hours a night, but my body would really much prefer 9 or 10.
what are you wearing: My pajamas! Which go on almost as soon as I get home from work.
dream job: Well it depends on if this is a magical-wish-fulfillment dream job, or just a what-would-have-been-realistic-if-you’d-made-better-choices dream job.
Magic-enabled dream job is definitely character actor/comedian/member of Mike Schur’s repertory company. Famous enough to support myself and my extended family/treat my friends whenever I feel like it, but not famous enough for the paps to stake out my vacation/wedding. (guys! is Jenny Slate my dream job?)
“Achievable” dream job is Rare Book Librarian/Archivist. This is actually what my background/training is in, but alas you can’t support yourself in the most expensive real estate market in the known universe on a librarian’s salary.
dream trip:  Since college I have had a dream of visiting every continent. Where’d You Go Bernadette kinda cured me of wanting to go to Antarctica, but I haven’t completely given up on everywhere else. So far, I’ve only made it to 2 (including the one where I live). Somehow I keep going back to Europe instead.
instruments: Sadly none, but I would love to be able to make music with all of my heart.
languages: English. I used to be fluent in French, but I’ve lost almost all of it.
favorite songs: This one can’t be answered. However, I will offer up Phoebe Snow’s No Regrets, (I believe it’s an old jazz standard though) as the song I am most likely to sing if I am showing off (this is more French 75-drunk than tequila drunk though).
random fact:  My Bacon number is 3.
I’m kind of a recovering theater kid. In my callow youth, I won a regional drama competition, the prize for which was a small part in a play that was touring, and had a 2 week stop in my city. The lead actor was Ian McKellen. This is pretty much ancient history, so he wasn’t nearly as famous then as he is now, but he was still a little bit famous. At any rate, he was nothing but charming and encouraging to me, despite the fact that I was basically a glorified extra. He low-key hit on my dad at the cast party. My dad was utterly charmed
aesthetic: I like a close juxtaposition of whimsy and minimalism. Like if Chrissy Hynde and Audrey Hepburn and Carol Kane had a baby, that baby would be my aesthetic. A fitted black jacket, over a Betty Boop graphic tee, boot cut jeans, vintage charm bracelet, and chucks. A motocross jacket over a ruffled circus-print blouse, velvet pants, suede booties, giant cocktail ring, and day-3 hair. LBD, kitten heel, big chunky silver rings, and an Olympia Le-Tan clutch. Sparkly things in the dark - the Eiffel tower after sundown; the Christmas tree after everyone’s gone to bed; city lights from your fire escape when you’re too worked up to sleep; fireworks on the Fourth of July.
And this isn’t so much an aesthetic, but rather a mood that pervades my life. To quote Dolly Parton in Steel Magnolias: Laughter through tears is my favorite emotion.
I think most of you have probably been tagged already, but if not and you want to, consider this your invitation!
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televinita · 5 years
Text
A True Story
When I was a little kid, I tried to watch Dumbo at my grandparents’ house, but I started crying so hard when they separate him from his mother that I wore myself out and fell asleep. No amount of my parents telling me it had a happy ending when I woke up could convince me to finish watching it, so I never did. I'm bringing this up because last night, I thought Unicorn Store would be a pleasant little thing to help me relax before bed. Twelve minutes from the end, having been crying off and on for roughly the past 30 minutes of the film and pausing it multiple times to get myself under control, it set me off so hard I began to think history might repeat itself.
It’s not even dark or depressing! I just identified with Kit so, so (too) much.
This film, for all its fantastical whimsy and legit magic, is SUCH A SHOT TO THE HEART of what it feels like to stumble out of college and back to your parents' house with no idea what to do next. How to be a grown-up. What to make of boys. (or are they men now? are you old enough to interact with Men on a personal level?) Especially when you still cling to your childhood loves that the world has told you to put away.
The part where she bags up all her old things?? I did that with my Breyers/plush animals/My Little Ponies in a similar fit of anger and heartbreak (of course they eventually made it back out, which at this point in the film I could only hope would be paralleled by her getting her unicorn at the end). Sobbing to her parents that she knows she’s a disappointment (even though they don’t actually think that)? Done it. The longing for the unconditional love of a pet? I had one, but I haven’t for six years and the visceral ache is ever-present, especially since I had her when I had no IRL friends.
The only thing I didn’t totally love was the end*, but I can see why they did that, so I don’t think it takes away from the film. (warning: talk of the ending below)
*And by that I mean I very definitely had an outraged reaction of “WHAT IS THIS ONE UNICORN-STYLE NONSENSE. What? No! Personal happiness doesn’t mean you turn away a friggin’ unicorn!! Do you see your tears right now? That’s a sign this is not right and not okay! That other sad lady can wait her gosh-darn turn. (also WHAT DUDE WOULD NOT INSIST YOU KEEP A UNICORN. Throw that whole man away.)”
But this, too, reminded me of something in my life. Something I can’t directly remember because my brain is protecting me and I’m going to let it, but where I cried my heart out and then consigned it to the past even though I still wanted it. And that's why even though this is a stupid-ass decision, I cannot elect to ignore it because I understand that for some reason that she has to, even though I'm pretty sure that reason is just SELF SABOTAGE AND UNCONSCIOUS SELF-HARM SOLD AS ALTRUISM.
(Like, part of my heart loves that she is doing what’s best for the unicorn, if she doesn’t need him, but I remain uncomfortable with the idea that grown-ups find true happiness comes from within and not Things. Plus, if you didn’t click my link up there, it’s a picture book about a princess who grows up spending time with a unicorn, but stops paying attention to it after she falls in love with a prince -- see if you can catch the annoying similarities here implying that first comes the horse-crazy stage, then comes romance. Although I guess at least this unicorn LIVES.)
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