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satorinni · 3 years

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𝐥𝐢𝐚𝐛𝐢𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐲

synopsis: you were his everything; sun, moon, stars and all. he treated you so much like royalty that you expected nothing less. but it seems you took him for granted.

pairing: sakusa kiyoomi x fem!reader

warnings: angst, mostly angst, some fluff, readers kinda toxic ngl SUPER UNEDITED DONT YELL AT ME

a/n: uhhh idek if this counts as a fucking fic tbh, but it was inspired by a hc (that wasn’t even angst) that i saw, also i listened to grow old with you by adam sandler on repeat soooo yeah enjoy happy birfday to my future self cs this is queued<3

shit. you were late, again. it was your own fault, you knew that much. you went to bed late and didn’t bother setting an alarm. whatever, you were already late, why bother rushing? surely your professor would understand?

this was your fault. no, not waking up late & not setting an alarm, (though that was still all you). no, the whole reason you never, ever bothered to wake up early enough to cook yourself breakfast: because you knew there would always be a fresh plate of eggs & bacon on the counter for you. the reason you never set an alarm or fixed your sleeping schedule: you knew someone would be there to wake you up & ensure you went to bed at a decent time. losing that, see, that was your fault.

to most, sakusa kiyoomi was a pretentious neat freak who disregarded everyone else’s comfort in preference of his own. to most, he was an outrageously good volleyball star who didn’t take interviews because his personal life was his personal life. to most, he was, well, kind of a dick. but alas, that was to most. you? you were not part of that majority. no, kiyoomi made sure to remind you of that every single time you saw him. whether it be through washing the dishes because he just knew you were stressed from school (without you ever having to say it). texting you good morning & good night every time he was away for a game (because yeah, he missed you just as much as you missed him). or even through the way he would cradle your face in his hands to kiss at your eyes whenever he finally came home (you cried every time, but he was always there to kiss your tears away).

maybe you should’ve gone to his games more, cheer him on like the rest of his fans. though he never considered you a “fan”, merely his inspiration. maybe you should’ve dropped out of school to become his doting housewife. sakusa would never ask that of you, but sometimes the thought would creep into the back of your mind when school was too rough. maybe you should’ve traveled with him, part of you thought the distance is what made it end, but that was your brain making excuses because deep down you knew distance would never be the reason.

~~~

“don’t you miss me when you’re gone?” you knew the answer, but moments like this were rare, so you held onto them when you got the chance. your eyes were still closed, but you knew his were open by the flutter of his eyelashes against yours.

“i miss you every single minute that i can’t see your smile.” as if on cue, a soft smile builds on your face. he could probably feel your heartbeat with how close he was. your fingers grazed the curls at the nape of his neck and you shiver, as if the goosebumps you left in your wake were contagious.

“what do you miss about me?” humor me, you thought, because he was leaving tomorrow and you needed something to savor for the next few weeks. he hums softly, large hands stroking small circles against your cheek.

“i miss going to dinner an hour early to avoid the swarm of paparazzi trying to snap pictures of my girl.” you giggle at this. the paps were actually always trying to snap pics of him, because of his tendency to never leave hotel rooms, photos of him were always so rare.

“i miss fighting over the remote because you always wanna watch those nature documentaries.” he constantly complained about how boring they were, but always let you have the remote anyway. you try shifting closer to him, as if your foreheads and every part of you body wasn’t already pressed against his.

“i miss the nights i get to spend putting you to bed when you drink too much with your friends.” you open your eyes at this. he’s looking directly into yours.

“i thought you hated that?” mornings after are always filled with his complaints of how you reeked of alcohol and sweat. you always told him he didn’t have to clean up after you, but he would just roll his eyes and change the subject.

at this, he smiles and kisses you softly. suddenly, you forget what you’re even talking about until he pulls away.

“mostly, i just miss you, princess.” at first, the nickname started as a joke. when you first started dating, his friends thought you were a mooch. always having sakusa clean the house, get the groceries, remind you of your dentist appointments, treat you like a princess. despite this, whenever you tried to protest that you were an independent woman or that you could do things yourself, he would laugh and kiss away your complaints.

“i would travel across the seas everyday for 20 years if it meant i could see you smile and hear you laugh.” a grin spreads across your face. “even if it means i have to deal with your morning breath.” your eyes widen in embarrassment. you cover your face with your hands and whine.

“yoomi!” he laughs, but pries your hands away and kisses you again. you smile into the kiss, reveling in the feeling of being his girl.

“i love you.” he whispers against your lips. you kiss him harder, not bothering to say it back because you both know you’d walk to the ends of the earth for him.

~~~

after a while, you became dependent on him. on the occasions he was home, he did everything for you. and even when he wasn’t, he would still call everyday to make sure you feed the cat and call your mother. little things. maybe after 4 years you started getting selfish.

“princess, it’ll just be for two days?” he was trying to reason with you, but you didn’t see the point. nothing he said would’ve made you change your mind.

“yoomi, i don’t want you to go!” looking back, maybe you were being a bit insufferable. after all, it was nationals, there would be olympic recruiters there. kiyoomi had a shot at being in the olympics. but still, it was your anniversary. “we were supposed to go to paris remember? the city of love? don’t you love m-” he cuts you off before you finish.

“of course i love you. don’t ever doubt that i do. but i can’t let my team down. i can’t let japan down. i have to go, princess.” you turn away from him, fingers running across your forehead in rapid annoyance. school had been extra stressful, but you were graduating this year. this was the only break you had, and you had really been hoping to spend it in paris with the love of your life.

“why don’t you come with me?” it was quiet, but something about the suggestion made you furious. you had never gone to his away games before. not because you didn’t want to, but because sakusa preferred to keep your relationship private. he liked it better when you watched him through the tv screen.

“i don’t want to. i want to go to paris. i want to celebrate our anniversary and come back home so i can finish my finals. so i can graduate and i can travel with you as much as you want.” maybe that was the breaking point. maybe he finally realized how much of a brat you were being, regardless of how much you loved him and he loved you.

~~~

in attempt to stop the words ringing in your head, you open your eyes and sit up. you were already two hours late, what was the point in going to school at all? didn’t matter if you graduated anyway, you didn’t have anywhere to go, no one to be with. your professor would understand.

you sob quietly into your hands. It was no use, you could still hear him.

“i can’t do this anymore, y/n.” you wanted to scream. youcanyoucanyoucan. you should’ve. but you knew you couldn’t. he was going to be in the olympics. he had his whole life ahead of him, and who were you? just his selfish girl. his girl who couldn’t even bother to go to his game that day on your anniversary. the game where he scored the winning spike and pointed directly to the cameras. the game where he screamed through tears, this one’s for you, princess.

the game you didn’t watch.

this was your fault. you knew it was. there was no point in being angry with him. he loved you. you knew that. but after he left you couldn’t help but wonder, did i really love him? or did i love everything he did for me?

three months. it took three months to realize that, yes, i love him with every fiber of my being. It took three whole months to realize that you tore out your own heart and his when you let him walk out. because after three months you realized he would’ve stayed the second you asked him to. but you didn’t. and that was your fault.

#um idek what to call this #it was supposed to b a drabble #wtf #my first fic ig?#sakusa x reader #sakusa kiyoomi #kiyoomi sakusa #sakusa angst #sakusa kiyoomi x reader #angst #haikyuu!!#nani?

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sxngshine · 4 years

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If Tomorrow Comes

• Chan x reader x Minho

• Genre: FLUFF, BIT OF CRACK, ANGSTTT

• Word Count: 2.03k

• Love triangle au, college au, Enemies to lovers(kind of) au

• Summary: you were a temperamental girl who lived a hard life ever since your dad died. Your grandma and mom always fought and it always brought troubles to your already broken family. But after meeting a man who came all the way from another country, you knew your life wasn't going to be the same. But don't judge a book by its cover, otherwise you'll never know the full story.

• Extra: This story is based off of a movie I watched. I really liked the plot so I made a story out of it. Obviously not exactly like the movie, I added my own parts to it. All creds go to the creators of the movie ily all💕

Ps. I may make a series out of this.

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♡Y/n's POV♡

Beep Beep Beep Beep Bee-

You groaned and turned off your stupid alarm. Mornings were definitely not your thing. But alas, you had a class today and you couldn't be late, so you begrudgingly got up and dragged your feet towards the bathroom.

Looking at yourself in the mirror, you almost screeched at your ugliness- just kidding but you did groan at how much of a rats nest your hair looked like.

After showering and completing your morning routine, you walked out of your bathroom and towards your closet. Throwing on whatever you saw first (which happened to be a gray hoodie and unfortunately, jeans) and then tamed your hair so it looked hair presentable.

Not bothering to put it up you grabbed your bag and made your way downstairs. And then you immediately regretted it.

There was loud screaming coming from the kitchen and the sound of crying. You sighed and walked into the kitchen, you mood worsening when you saw your little sister crying. You hated seeing her cry, she was a wholesome child and you would never allow her childhood to be ruined because the to two people yelling.

"Enough!" You yelled, gaining the attention of all three present. "What is going on?"

"This nuisance spilled her juice all over me!" Your grandma yelled, throwing her hands into the air.

"She's just a kid! It was an accident and she even apologized! Why are you being so mean!?" Your mother yelled back.

"Ever since you adopted this child shes been nothing but a pest! Always leeching off of us-"

"I said ENOUGH!" You had enough of their shit. Walking up to your crying sister, you gave her a hug and picked her up so she was secure around your hip.

"Grandma, I love you. But that's no way to speak to her. She apologized so you dont need to start yelling such things." You said calmly, controlling your temper.

"Now both of you break it up," you looked at the two women who eventually went their separate ways, muttering under their breathes.

"Hey princess, are you okay?" You asked your little 6 year old sister whole wiping her tears away.

She nodded and rubbed her eyes. "I'm okay, did grandma mean it?" She asked sadly.

"No of course not, she may not show it but she loves you baby. Don't worry okay? Now you go play in your room alright?" You told her, setting her down.

"Okay unnie, I love you," she said, kissing your cheek before running upstairs.

You smiled and grabbed your bag once again, deciding to just grab some juice and skip breakfast for today.

"I'm leaving!" You yelled before walking out the front door. Seeing your neighbor Mr.Bang, you waved hi. Mr.Bang was a nice and jolly old man who lived by himself.

You walked to the bus terminal and sat down waiting for your best friend. After a few minutes she ran up to you.

"Hey Y/N!" She chirped happily, a little too happy for your taste.

"Hey Nari, why so happy? Its Monday," you stated, sipping on your juice.

"Because! I just saw this super cute guy on the way here and oh my god we was so good looking like-"

One thing you didn't like about your bestfriend was how crazy she was about boys.

"Girl! This is like the 4th guy this week! The week only started yesterday for crying out loud! How long are you gonna keep doing this to yourself? Guys are a literal WASTE of time. Do something better with your life rather than fawning over guys all the time." You snapped, already tired hearing where this conversation was heading.

"But-" she tried to say but the bus arrived and cut her short. "Come on," you said standing up, walking towards the entrance of the bus.

You were waiting for everyone to get off while you sipped your juice, but of course, someone just HAD to bump into you, spilling your juice all over your hoodie.

"What the hell man!" You screeched. Thankfully you had a tshirt on underneath so you took off your sweater.

You glared at the guy who spilled your drink. "Shit, I'm so sorry I didn't mean to here's a tissue-" he said, fumbling with his bag.

People were now boarding the bus and you had to go. "Watch where you're going next time blondie," you seethed before getting onto the bus, leaving the mysterious boy on the sidewalk.

*time skip to after class*

"Finally! I was growing tired of listening to her talk," you sighed and got up from your seat. Being a business major was such hard work, sometimes you considered just dropping out.

Packing your things up and saying goodbye to your classmates, you walked out the university and sat down in the bench where you and your bestfriend usually met.

After waiting for another 10 minutes, you started to grow impatient.

"Y/N!" The familiar voice yelled as they ran up to you.

"You know Minho, it's rude to keep people waiting." You stated, crossing your arms.

"Were there others waiting here as well?" He asked, catching his breath. "Me Minho, I'm people," you groaned and began walking away.

He just laughed and followed you, throwing an arm around your shoulders. "I'm sorry, I saw this really hot girl and-" you blocked out the rest he was going to say.

You see, Minho was a fuckboy. A player. He's been going from girl to girl, no one ever lasts a week with him. There was no doubt, Minho was definitely cute and he was really smart. But when it came to girls, there was no end to his fanclub. That's what happens when your bestfriends with the son of Lee industries.

Yep, you heard it folks. He's the Lee Minho, heir of Lee industries. How the two of you became friends, you'll never know.

"Whatever I dont care about what you did to get the girl man, just drive me home please!" You pleaded. You just wanted to go home and flop onto your bed for a few years.

Minho just rolled his eyes and nodded. You started talking about random things as he Lead you too his car. He started the engine and drove off.

After talking a bit more he spoke up "Y'know Y/N, don't you think it's about time you got yourself a boyfriend?" He asked you.

You snorted. "Men are a waste of time. Besides I don't need any man but you Min. Why do I need a boyfriend when I have my bestfriend?"

Hearing that made Minho smile as pink busted his cheeks. He was happy you felt that way about him. Although that last line was a bit of a sting. Man just got friendzoned.

Once arriving at your house you said bye to Minho and stepped out of the car, walking to your front porch and turning around to wave at him once more before he drove off.

Walking into your house you kicked off your shoes and trudged upstairs, throwing your dirty hoodie in the hamper beside your closet. You dropped your bag and jumped onto your bed closing your eyes.

You didn't even close your eyes for 30 seconds before you felt someone's weight on you. Groaning, you open your eyes to see your little sister.

"Yunaaa.... what is it?" You whined.

"I wanna go to the park," she said.

"Unnies tired sis, ask mom.." you mumbled.

"Mom had to go to work and there's no way I'm asking grandma," she whined.

You sighed and sat up, the little girl now sitting in your lap instead of crushing your chest.

"Alright, only for a little while. Okay?" You told her and she nodded, jumping up and down.

You grabbed your phone and decided to wear your glasses today cause you were to lazy to put on your contacts.

You held your sisters hand as she happily skipped down the sidewalk beside you. Arriving to the park, Yuna let go of your hand and ran towards the swings. But she, being the clumsy child she is, bumped into someone and scraped her knee. You gasped and ran towards them.

The guy she bumped into bent down and helped her up. He put a bandaid on her cut and helped her up.

"What's your name sweetie?" He asked, grabbing a flower nearby and placing it in her hair, making her giggle.

"Yuna" she said.

"I'm Chan" he said smiling at the little girl.

You put a hand on her shoulder and went to apologize. "I'm so sorry about her clumsiness-" you went to say but he cut you off.

"Hey! You're that girl from the bus terminal!" He exclaimed. You properly looked at him and scowled.

"Oh it's you blondie," you said, picking up your sister and placing her on your hip. "You okay?" You asked her.

"Yeah! Channie oppa made it better!" She giggled.

"Did you thank him?" You asked her. You may not like him but you still had manners.

"Thank you Channie oppa!" She said happily before wiggling out of your arms and running towards the swings.

Now it was just the two of you. You were about to leave when he suddenly spoke up.

"Am I not going to get a thank you?" He asked.

"Why would I?" you scoffed. "Call us even for that time you spilt my drink all over me"

You began to walk away when he yelled. "Nice meeting you glasses!" You just rolled your eyes.

-The next day-

You didn't have a class today and you couldn't me happier. After doing assignments and listening for so long you needed a break.

You were eating a snack while texting Minho when someone rang your doorbell. You looked at the door with furrowed, who decides to visit at 10am??

You walked towards the door to see your mother with Yuna in front of her. You glanced at them before opening the door.

There stood Blondie.

"Oh! Pleasure seeing you again." He said to you before looking at your mom.

"Hi Miss! My uncle asked me to bring you this dish," he said, showing you guys the dish.

"And you are?" She asked.

"Oh right! I'm Chan, I'm from Australia and I'm Mr.Bangs nephew." He stated while smiling.

"Its a pleasure to meet you Chan, thank you for the dish. And please, call me Nina." You cringed when your mom told him her first name

He smiled "What a beautiful name for a beautiful woman." Looking down, he saw Yuna and gasped.

"Yuna my favorite girl!" He exclaimed, crouching to give her a hug which she gladly returned. You just rolled your eyes and continued to stare at him angrily.

You weren't sure why but he was getting on your nerves. "Ah right! What brings you here all the way from Australia? Important businesses?" Your mom asked.

"Ah no, I'm here to visit someone important to me. And maybe get married," He said happily.

"Ah really!?" Your moms eyes widened.

"That being said, Nina I want to marry your daughter!" He exclaimed. What???

"Excuse me?" You scowled.

"I wasn't talking to you glasses I was talking to little Yuna over here. Yuna will you marry me?" He exclaimed dramatically. Yuna giggled and shook her head.

"No!" "No!" Both you and Yuna yelled at the same time.

"Quick question Nina, is she in a bad mood or was she born this way?" Chan asked you mom, making your anger skyrocket.

"Shes always like this-" you mom said and you whined. "Mom!"

"Hahaha it's okay we can work on it." He said nonchalantly.

"Work on it-?" "Anyways! It was nice meeting you all, I'll see you at 8 o clock!" Chan said.

"8 o clock?" Your mom questioned.

"For dinner! At your place. I'm you're new neighbor, obviously you'll invite to show your hospitality... won't you?" He asked looking hopeful.

"Okay..." your mom said.

"Also, glasses over here might be a bit angry with you when I go. Apologies for that! Bye now!" He gave Nina the dish and walked off.

What just happened?

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iwantbloodgutsandchoccake · 2 years

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HUGE TW GO AWAY IF U DONT WANNA HEAR SU.C!D3 THOUGHTS

-also this isnt a call for help i just dont like the way notes look i hate yellow tunblr is pretty so plesse ignore this if it bothers you

--- boring boring everythinf is so boring i wanna do things ive never done before, it doesnt matter what it is anything i havnt done i want to do but at the same time i csnt bring myself to do anything i text no one all day and i wanna dissapear soso bad i really wish i could just do shrooms and not worry about anyrhinf and do all the things ive never done. i have been siting around smoking weed all day and sleeping snd playing genshin and playing survival horror and fucking sister location for so long. when i wake up i wanna smash my head in the floor and sink into the ground i wanna feel my body floating but i also want to see the bright colors inside of me, i want to be able to do these things while not dying just yet, stab my stomach and grab all my organs and ts:td them. why do i want to do this. i want to do things that arent humanly possible everyday. i take my meds and feel like they are making me worse becuase im taking them ome day then not for a couple weeks and so on, my body is confused and everyday i want to relapse so bad but i dont, because i hate when people accidently see my sh and i get this chill down my whole body at the same time a heat flash, i cant stop wondering what they are thinking, do they feel bad for me? are they blaming themselves? do they think im weak? do they now feel upset because they think i am or was? because at this point, the past year, im doing it for fun. for example, i have no reason to be sad or upset or wanting to die so fucking bad, and i just get all these thoughts rushing through my head screaming pulling yanking all my body to take action and listen to them and i havnt in awhile, ive been fighting it way too hard, when i get too overwhelmed when that happens i bang my head on the floor and grab my face and pull my skin down imagining my nails are pulling it off but alas no it leaves marks but not nearly close to what my thoughts are seeing. i feel sick all the time i never feel at peace with myself. i have all a's right now and i have no idea how. i thought if my grades were better id feel better even a bit but no, tryinf to fight it is too hard, i wanna die in every way. every way. i deserve it i really do, but i cant think about why becuase then my head will hurt way too much and ill throw up. im a bad person, i really am. i seem like such a sweet n loving person, but the truth is i have a big attachment issue while staying distsnt at the same time, i think about that thing way too much and imagine all these things happening that never will, its not day dreaming its discusting, i dont mesn sexual i mean like every gross thing my childhood was ruined with. everything i fucking love turns into me obbessing over it and when i obbsess over something my old obbsesion tries to imterfere. none of this makes sense im just like half asleep writing bs but anyway ive gotten back into my fnaf phase i was in after i got out of my time i lived with my dad, 7 years ago. my trauma had nothing to do with him, actuslly i take that back bigtime. anyway i had internet access way too young and sadly came across the wrong side, and sadly its part of who i wm now, becuase of what i decided to watch all the time staying up at night wtaching live g*re and then going to school like nothinf happened. i was fucking seven years old. why did that have to happen. i wish i never was able to touch a computer and social media. all the things i love are ruined. i ruined them. what messes up my mind? yeah okay a fucking mental disorder but what caused it? everyone around me feel so fake and i feel like ive been living in a video game for seven years. i wonder if my best friend thinls im a discusting person. they arent a perfect person, no one is but they have a pure bliss personality, no bad thoughts about hurting others and wanting to do unhuman things. i want to destroy my brain, none of the information i have in my mind is useful. i dont think ill live past 18, i thought that when i was eighr years old. if theres one thing im certiam of its there truly is no point in life. goodnight i hope you all sl

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