#have some of my incoherent crying thoughts about this chapter | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

trashlie · 3 months

Text

GOD today's Love and Deepspace update has me ON MY KNEES i am alkfjalfjkalfkjakfkjafkafjka LISTEN I read Xavier's third anecdote BEFORE I HAD AN 11 A.M. MEETING I HAD TO STOP MY CRYING AND TRY TO MAKE MYSELF SOUND LIKE I TOTALLY HADN'T JUST SPENT 10 MINUTES CRYING not my finest hour but I never said I make wise choices LMAO ajkfjkafjkafkafjkkajf I'm going to put all my incoherent spoilery thoughts under the cut but god I just have to say that yes, it's confirmed, I think Xavier really is my favorite, in the "I love them all so much and I want to gobble up this story and I need all of the lore but I will go for him above all others" kind of way LMAO like alkfjakjfjaf Xavier and MC just hit all my catnip boxes okay?

You can't fight your true nature lol

As a loyal Kiro fan I knew I would lean Xavier but I really wanted to give myself the benefit of the doubt and pretend I might make a different choice for once lol

Spoilers for chapter 8, as well as Rafayel and Xavier's third anecdotes let's goooooooooooo (and once again touching on Xavier's myth)

I HAVE SO MANY FEELINGS I'M SO TENDER AND HEARTACHEY ;~;

Something I continue to love about LADS is that the LIs give MC so much agency. I firmly believe with certainty that Rafayel is not betraying MC; after all, they've already talked about needing bait for a big fish, so even IF there's a chance this part isn't planned, I believe he knows that she is capable of getting herself out of this situation, that she will handle what's being thrown at her. "Do you really think they can handle the prey I caught?" Rafayel, like Xavier, and I'm sure like Zayne, knows she's capable of handling herself, and I love this aspect so much! Babying MCs gets soooo boring.

In fact, the thing about Rafayel is despite the fact that she seems to have forgotten (in his eyes) about the promise they made, he has so much faith in her. That's half his problem, really; if he could let go, maybe he wouldn't be so hurt and hung up, but he just has so much faith in her, in her capabilities, in what she can pull off. Papergames' writing is so clever here, leaving us off in chapter 7 with that moment of hesitation, where it appears like he almost leaves at the bottom of the ocean (and probably strongly considers it!) prior to getting her to safety and then taking on the Wanderer, only to turn around and make it look like he's lured her into a trap - but he and MC have talked about this! This is what she wants! Even if he DOES have ulterior motives, I still don't believe this is an act of betrayal - MC is going to do whatever she can to enter the N109 Zone, better it be this way than another.

These are not games where we can just look at the surface and call it what it looks like. And MC is not so naive. Again, she knows what she has to do to get in, and she's partaking in it. And Rafayel knows she won't make it easy for anyone in there.

I'm sure if it were up to him or Xavier, she wouldn't be entering such a dangerous place, but it's not up to them. They aren't her handlers, so they trust her to take care of herself, and it's so refreshing to see.

I think, too, Rafayel is doing exactly what Xavier told MC to do. He, too, has a role to play in his quest for revenge, in his relationship with this organization. He can't show his weakness, he can't show his fears. He can only trust that MC knows what she's doing and that she will take care of herself and has a way out, that if things go south, she'll get out of there (and maybe try to find a way to help her if he can lol).

I think some people look at characters like Rafayel and Xavier and only see what's on the very surface: a needy, clingy, drama queen; and a stoic, calm man. But why do you think they have bounties on their heads like that? And such large ones, at that? $100,000,000 for Xavier!!!!!! Rafayel is as cunning and clever as he is sassy and dramatic, as ruthless and cold as he is sensitive and emotional (in fact, that is likely why he is so ruthless and cold, someone so sensitive is so hurt by what has happened to his people, to his family, to the hurt and betrayals he has experienced). They're so much more than what you see on the surface, so full of depth and nuance and GOD I LOVE THEM SO MUCH. Like I said before, I don't love Rafayel in spite of the resentment, I love him for it.

And Xavier, my GOD ;______; This chapter was such a feast for the Xavier fans lol His third anecdote BROKE me, just absolutely devastated me. That must have been the very first "version" of MC, the first time they ever met, the first time he fell for her, and it's so easy to see why he did - how she just saw him for him, how she helped buy him those pockets of freedom, the curiosity she took in him that enabled to help him. His desperation to help her, but coming back too late ;_____; THE AGONYYYYYYYYYY THE DEVASTATION ;_____; Losing her for the first time, AS SHE DIED IN HIS ARMS HELLO?! The reassurance she'll meet him again in her next life, that no matter how many times it takes, no matter where she is, he'll find her ;__________;

The certainty that he's the same Xavier from the myths, because she is the one who gave him the star charm, the one MC of the myth is so jealous of LMAO that he has lost her before and here he is, having finally found her, and having to assist her in preparation for such a dangerous mission. And again, I just love the agency - that he doesn't talk her out of it. Instead, he prepares her. Gives her everything she needs to go best protect herself and go in with a fighting's chance.

Even though there's a chance he could lose her again, that unwavering faith. ;~;

Something I especially loved about this was the inclusion of Jeremiah, because as @poisonheart pointed out, Jeremiah is the one who has seen both MC and Xavier without the other, knows what they mean to each other, and the significance of now, of a reunion, even if she doesn't know it's a reunion. And not just for Xavier, but for himself! She was his friend, too! Xavier isn't the only one who lost her. I still don't know what happened to her, but he lost her, too. "Were you able to stay calm when you saw her for the first time?" Because he probably struggled to do so! He even slipped up, telling her he didn't think he'd ever get a chance to help her.

It's such a momentous moment and she doesn't even know because they have these memories of a version of herself she doesn't know, a version of herself she knows nothing of ;~; And it breaks my heart.

There's something so understated about Xavier's "stoicism" - everything he has to mask, the hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of years that he's spent quelling feelings. That he carries these memories and feelings that have never gone out, for someone who has had to get to know him all over again. Isn't that agonizing to think about? Meeting someone who you have an entire history with, so many memories of, but has no recollection, no knowledge of you? Meeting her again and waiting for feelings to blossom again - hoping they will because what if this is the time it doesn't happen what if this version of her never does - like WHAT IS THAT LIKE having to keep yourself at bay holding back your own feelings ;______;

MY AGONYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

And more than that it's like.... Jeremiah even mentioned the non interference rule and it certainly seems like Xavier maybe attempted it but.... how do you maintain that, how do you NOT interfere, when the person you've been searching for is right there, when something so awful has happened to her, when so many eyes are on her, when she's in such danger?

I JUST HAVE SO MANY FEEEEELIIIIIIINGGGSSSS ABOUT THEEEEEEMMMMMM ;________;

#Love and Deepspace #LADS Brainrot #Love and Deepspace spoilers #LADS Xavier #this post doesn't even say anything i'm just screaming my feelings into the void LMAO #GOD #too sleepy to write a good post forgive me

52 notes · View notes

yenqa · 1 year

Text

MORE TIME WITH YOU!

chapter 6

i forgor

warnings : food, swearing, nervousness, slender man??, implied dirty thoughts (it’ll make sense when we get there)

ignore timestamps!

yujin was such a cute baby, niki wanted to squish it’s cheeks and never let go, but obviously, he would probably get in a lot of trouble if he did that.

niki had never been a fan of kids, but here he was. freaking out over how yujin almost started crying whenever he was in view.

sure, he looked pretty scary and he was tall. so, obviously niki looked like slender man or something to her. but yujin couldn’t even be in the same room as him?

he glanced at you, feeding yujin, making some incoherent noises while bringing each spoon to her mouth. how could someone be so good at taking care of other people? and why wasn’t yujin scared of her? well she is pretty short, and cute maybe. scratch that. what was niki thinking?

niki brushed off his original thought, you’re just likable and easy to get along with! he reassured himself. yujin glanced at him, eyes widening. she quickly looked away, starting to moan.

“oh c’mon! why does she hate me so much!” niki complained, dramatically falling to his knees.

“she doesn’t hate you!” you argued, “just scared of you.”

niki groaned standing up, “even worse.” he glanced at the camera he was using to blog his day, winking at it, then panning it to you, feeding yujin. suddenly, a grand idea came to niki’s mind.

“can i try feeding her?”

“great idea niki, maybe she’ll start choking while sobbing her eyes out.” you answer sarcastically.

“oh you’re right.” niki sighed, cursing himself for being so tall.

“i have an idea, how about i put her on my lap and you feed her?” you smile at him, he grins at you nodding at the idea. so you gracefully lift yujin, as niki goes to grab her food, you sit down on the gray couch, moving around to be comfortable. he walks up to you cautiously, slowly walking towards you as he sits down. slowly picking up a spoon full of food for her.

yujin looks nervous, she whips her head around for approval as you nod, guiding her to the spoon. niki slowly moves the food closer to her mouth as she reluctantly opens her mouth, letting niki feed her. once the food in her mouth niki started jumping around the room, picking up the camera he had just placed down to see his achievement.

“did you see that engenes? and…”

“swiths,” you answer.

“and swiths? yujin loves me,” he sings while panning the camera to you, being excited for yujin for facing her fears.

what you didn’t notice was how the camera froze in place, as he watched you play with her. but he didn’t notice either.

“alright that’s enough filming for today everyone! good job everyone and you two,” the producer stops you two, “get some rest, you’ll need it.”

“we will, thank you so much!” you answer, grabbing your stuff to go back into your room. you’re about to walk in when niki stops you.

“hey have you ever babysat before? you’re really good with kids.”

“yeah, i have a little sister,” you answer, smiling at him.

“oh, cool.”

you continue walking when he stops you again.

“y/n are you going to go to sleep?”

you turn back around, “probably not, i’ll probably just lay in my bed.”

riki stops, then proceeds “want to watch a movie with me? i think we have snacks in the kitchen.”

you smile, face turning a light shade of pink, “yeah! just let me change into my pajamas! i’ll be right back.” you jokingly wink at him, walking to your room to freak out sbout it.

back masterlist next

sypnosis - a new idol variety show makes 4th generation maknaes take care of a kid for a month! what happens when niki gets paired with a random girl who he maybe had one interaction with a few months ago? and when the reality show ends, why does he want to spend more time with you?

a/n : more writing now that the show started 😊😊

taglist : @hanniluvi @aki1e @bookishcalls @imhuh @millksea @nejis-puta @asunova @gojosimpp @mitsukifilms @sstarrysshit @kalliyen @inlovewsimjaeyun @invusblog @astrowonomical @luvdokja @trsrina @kittyeij @niktwazny303 @voidbeomgyu @jeongintwt @szvirm @zi-ever @luveuly @ilovewonyo @blossomnct @ineedaherosavemeenow @ahnneyong @anti-romanitc-blues @flower-lise @hafsa-hoofsa-heefs @strwberrydinosaur @luviehyuk @pw00kkat @lomzy5 @i-yeseo @7myoi @seesaweun @captain-satan @kyanmeai @gfksn @xiaoderrrr @softiegukk @soov @bougiesunoo @wonwonieeee @nomniki @flwrsforriki @meiiiwa @2tothee2

bold can’t be tagged!

#more time with you smau !! ⭐️

308 notes · View notes

resident-mercie · 10 months

Text

Carlos Oliveira Fic - Halcyon Days (NSFW) Chapter 2.

notes: nsfw allusions, obsessive carlos allusions, canon violence, allusions to death, slow burn romance

➵ You may have made it to the sanctum of the subway, but your peace with Carlos is threatened by both apocalyptic and human forces beyond your control.

“Being eaten by a cutie would be a good way to go, I suppose.” Carlos grinned, arms outstretched, beckoning me towards the hug I so desperately craved. “Just get over here already, before you turn and bite my arm off, will ya?”

With a little hesitance, I shuffled over to Carlos’s seat, finding myself enveloped in his presence, his muscular arm pulling me closer towards his chest. His scent was comforting in a bizarre way, being a mixture of cheap cologne, sweat, and mortality. While reminiscing about it right now made my nose twitch, it was a mixture of smells that were, for the most part, refreshingly human. His chest rising and falling filled me with an unusual sense of relief - that I wasn’t the only human trapped in such a horrific situation. We had each other, and although we had only met around twenty minutes prior, every cell in me screamed that this wasn’t just any chance encounter.

I could feel myself melting into his touch, as I felt him rest his chin on my head, which was now buried into the nook of his collarbone, leading to his chest. In the sanctum of his arms, maybe there was no apocalypse - maybe this was all just a terrible nightmare that I’d wake up from, and then head into my monotonous office job, not giving it any more thought. Yet, a selfish nagging in me pleaded for this to be real, because if this was a nightmare, then the sanctuary of Carlos Oliveira wouldn’t exist beyond the figments of incoherent thoughts in my dreams.

“Is that any better?” Carlos smiled, tracing patterns against my back in a reassuring manner with his thumb, his breathing in tandem with my own.

“I don’t want to let go.”

The carriage door opened as I whispered those words into his chest, and immediately the intimacy developing in the atmosphere dissipated, replaced by an uneasy tension.

“Our first aid service isn’t a secret sex workshop, Oliveira.” A voice bellowed into the room, from a figure seemingly fired by bitter vehemence. This new arrival was just as tall as Carlos, but unlike Oliveira’s stature, there was something menacing in his appearance, threatening almost. His face was paralysed with animosity, glaring at Carlos and I in a way that was unnerving and hostile. “If you want to try and get yourself laid before we run out of supplies, then be my guest. But don’t come crying to me when you’re infected.”

With one last spiteful glare in my direction, the figure skulked away, yet his uneasy presence was still very much influential on the atmosphere.

“Who was that?”

“That’s fucking Nikolai. Guy thinks he’s the top dog now he’s got his greasy hands on an authority position in our platoon.”

“Call me crazy if you want, Carlos, but I don’t trust the guy.”

Carlos’s response wasn’t a verbal one, but the look he gave me was one of mutual agreement. We were on the same wavelength.

After a clear of his throat, the usual reassuring smile of Carlos had returned, as he rested a large calloused hand atop my shoulder.

“Now I hope you don’t mind, but I’ve gotta start clearing some debris off the tracks so we can get the hell out of here. I, uh, left you a fresh change of clothes over on that stool over there. Figured they might be more practical than pyjamas.” He blushed a little, and suddenly realisation dawned on me. I was stood in front of this guy in a vest and some shorts - yeah, not the most scandalous thing in the world, but certainly not my go-to outfit for the most part.

“Oh, shit! I didn’t realise, I’m sorry—“

Carlos held a finger to my lip, and I could immediately feel myself melting into his touch once more. The closeness was unbearable, every cell in me screaming just to kiss the damn man already.

“Shh, minha querida. It suits you very well, just not the most appropriate clothing for the apocalypse. I don’t want you getting bitten, because I can’t let that hug of ours be the last, eh?”

I could only watch in a mix of lust and admiration as he proceeded to leave the carriage, my heart in my chest, his words echoing over and over in my head, my cheeks flushing as fantasy after fantasy uncontrollably sprung into my mind.

“I’ll be on the tracks if you need me. Hopefully won’t be long till we can get out of this shitheap.”

I could only sit aboard one of the derelict subway carriages, watching Carlos clear the tracks through the misted window. I felt much more comfortable in my change of clothes, being cargo trousers and a turtleneck, as they helped to warm me against the cold September air. All I could do was sit and wait, minutes turning into hours, and the hours crawling by.

“I see you’ve taken a liking to Mr Oliveira, hm?” A joyful voice echoed throughout the carriage, grounding me in reality once more. “The name’s Mikhail, UCBS platoon leader. I’ll be accompanying you survivors to the safe zone. Maintenance is nearly done. Why don’t you go find Carlos, and tell him the good news?”

I nodded, smiling at Mikhail. He was older than the likes of Carlos and Nikolai, with both his experience and his exhaustion plainly evident on his face. I stepped out of the carriage, running down the platform, until I found Carlos, a slightly disappointed look dampening his usual reassuring smile.

“Carlos, hurry up!” I waved with a smile, so relieved we’d finally be getting out of here. “Maintenance is done, and you guys managed to clear the tracks! We can finally get out of here!”

“That’s great, but there’s a slight complication.” Carlos forced a weak smile, unable to properly meet my gaze. “I’m not gonna be on your train outta here. I’ve been saddled with more duties.”

Crestfallen, I asked whether this was the last train home.

“No, no, not at all. Once I’ve finished up here, the subway carts will come back for me and some more of the crew. We might not be making it out at the exact same time, but I promise we’ll both make it out together, one way or another.”

I nodded, trying not to let the tears that were forming in my eyes escape.

"It ain’t goodbye, it’s just see you later, minha querida. I have a parting gift for you though.”

Carlos hoisted himself up from the tracks, back up onto the platform, walking over to me, and enveloping me in another hug I so desperately craved. I was yearning for his scent, his presence, his touch, as one hand ran through my hair, while the other slipped something into the deep pocket of my cargo trousers.

“I don’t fucking trust Nikolai. He’ll be on your train home with Mikhail. If he does anything that makes you feel unsafe, promise me you’ll defend yourself. Maybe I do sound delusional right now, but I don’t care. All of his platoon mates who he’s taken along with him while trying to get the subway running haven’t returned. You know what that means, right?’ Carlos’s voice was a low, husky whisper, a voice so tantalising as he held me so close. “I’ve slipped you a handgun and some extra bullets. The safety is on. Promise we’ll be together on the other side, right? Don’t let anyone hurt you.”

Together. A simple word, yet one that made me shiver inexplicably. His unwavering loyalty, bordering on obsession, made me ever so more infatuated with him.

“I promise, Carlos. Promise me you’ll stay safe here, too.”

“Of course, minha querida. The first thing I want to do when I see you, is hug you again. You better get going. I won’t be far behind, I promise.”

I waved goodbye to Carlos, saddened by the fact we weren’t getting out of here, together, right now. While I was upset, I knew deep down that he could hold his own, and that it wouldn’t be long until we were together again. The carriage I was in, for the most part, was relatively silent - the only other occupants being Mikhail, and Nikolai. Oh, how I desperately wished Carlos was in Nikolai’s place instead. They were mumbling about a “Nathaniel Bard”, a name that was totally unfamiliar to me, even after all my years of living in Raccoon.

“Are you sure he’s not dead? I mea, the whole city is full of tho—“

Nikolai’s tirade was abruptly cut off, as the subway carriages tilted and screeched, immediate panic coursing through my veins. Even if a bit of debris had been missed on the tracks, the subway carriages shouldn’t have acted so abnormally.

“What the hell?”

I ran to look at the carriage tailing behind us, desperate to see if this was just some kind of bizarre accident. But, it wasn’t there. All that was left was a few seats, some bodies and—

“What the fuck is that thing?” I panicked, yet counting my blessings that Carlos had offered me the handgun moments before. Stood before me was this hunkering tower of flesh, staring me down with its clouded, soulless eyes.

“Go, get to the back carriage!” Mikhail ordered, still determined to risk his neck for the sake of one sole survivor. Nodding, I ran to the next carriage, yet the lock had just turned, and as I looked up, my stomach sank.

“Nikolai, what are you doing? Let me in!”

Nikolai’s sly smile crept up his face in an almost comically evil way, waving at me from beyond the glass.

“Now why should I do that? After all, he’s probably not after me.”

“Fuck you, you fucking shithead.” Words tumbled out of my mouth, unable to entirely comprehend that he’d throw a civilian and his boss out if it meant he was the one to get out alive.

Mikhail’s shots at the creature were futile, as it grabbed him by a tendril of bloodied muscle, like some kind of sadistic predator torturing its prey. Yet, as I watched the events unfold in front of me, it seemed that the shots were more of a diversion for my sake.

“Get off my train, shitbird.” Mikhail growled, and with a click of a detonator, my eyes were met with a blinding light. Whatever happened after that is impossible to describe, as while the train derailed, I was slammed into the side of the carriage.

As everything faded to black, I hoped and prayed with every cell in me that I could still fulfil my promise to Carlos. We will get out of here. Together.

#resident evil #fanfic #fanfiction #carlos oliveira #resident evil fanfiction #resident evil fanfic #carlos oliveira x reader #resident evil 3 #raccoon city #resident evil 3 remake

64 notes · View notes

midorikawawas · 2 months

Text

So, About Spirit of Justice…

I've been loving that game since I first played it back in 2017-2018, and at times, I wish to do a review for Spirit of Justice, at least the story aspects, because I consider it to be a game that not only isn't as bad or as incoherent as many people try to argue, but that actually made something while carrying the burden of trying to do a lot in a little time, even when we consider that it has one of the longest (if it isn't THE longest) final cases/chapters and pushed a lot of the mechanics and effects for a visual novel.

If anything, the worst sin committed by AA6 is being its own thing (same as Dual Destinies, but that's a different conversation….)

But idk, lots of personal observations under this.

Of course there are things that make me raise my eyebrow and that could've been done better, but if anything, I applaud the fact that the game has that replayability factor to it which is such… an AA thing, to keep the player interested and entertained, even when considering its downfalls. Like, talk about the little details that aren't explicitly said, but that were put in the script and manage to convey so much of what the characters and story have to say. If anything, SoJ is GOOD at the storytelling factor, at switching the setting and making it compelling.

It's visually engaging and the script is just so good (I wish to play the Japanese version one of these days, because I enjoyed the translation and I bet the og is as enjoyable.)

Then there are the characters... Which I don't know how people can't get out of their usual comparisons with other installments and ignore that the characters, their motivations, and even their emotions and inner lives are not as half-assed in this game as some people would like to say. Again, most things get insinuated between the lines, which I don't think it's lazy, rather is interesting instead of seeing a character blurting out everything, but that's a personal choice. I could have a whole field day with the whole royal family and the many things they represent or couldn't say explicitly.

Even though I agree that Apollo's backstory doesn't click as well (we can see it was a last minute thing) I don't believe it takes away from what his past was. From his rather tragic origins, and the charm of the strong familial bond he has with Dhurke, neither the care and wish to reconnect with Nahyuta and protect him, who's either a dear childhood friend or a brother (depending on the version) but still, both are part of the childhood Apollo thought as lost, and who then forced himself to forget. If you ask me, it's of my favorite parts of the game, and I wish that if we get AA7, we get a passing comment about the family Apollo now has in Khura'in.

I simply like Spirit of Justice a lot. It's not the best AA installment objectively, but it is my personal favorite for the ambience, the build up, the characters and script (I feel only the amazing AA4 wins over AA6 in the script department but come on... It's AA4, ofc it wins.) and the over the top story that somehow makes sense within the universe. It is such a joy to play and get invested in everything that's going on, to laugh and to cry, and that makes to me a wonderful game.

It doesn't deserve much of the hate that it gets or to be the butt of the joke (neither does Dual Destinies, but AGAIN, a different conversation) however, every time I see complaints against the game I feel like most people just had a different experience than me.

At least I enjoyed it!

#Had some found feelings after seeing a rather misguided take on Dhurke like two days ago #so I came here to babble I guess #Spirit of justice #aa6 #ace attorney #gyakuten saiban #nahyuta sahdmadhi #apollo justice

12 notes · View notes

aperrywilliams · 11 months

Text

Green Card - Ch4: Your Life, My Life, and Ours (Spencer Reid x Fem!OC)

——————

Author Masterlist / Series Masterlist

Previous chapter < > Next chapter

——————

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Fem!OC (Ana María González)

Series summary: What reason leads two complete strangers to marry? For Spencer, the chance of his mom being admitted into a new medical trial. For Ana María González is to get the elusive green card.

Chapter summary: Ana and Spencer think they will soon get what they were waiting for. Only one of them will. Or: this is getting more complicated than we thought.

Word Count: 5.3k

CW: Some strong words. Talking about deceased parents (Ana). Talking about dads leaving their families (Ana and Spencer). Entire Spanish sentences (you have been warned). If I forgot something, let me know.

A/N: Chapter 4 is here. I particularly enjoyed writing this one. Let me know what you think.

——————

Spencer vented enough about his relationship with Maeve that afternoon. After two more cups of coffee, Ana already knew how Spencer had met Maeve and the dynamic they had been keeping for over a year.

"You're right. Things between you two are complicated, indeed," she concluded. Spencer sighed.

"I should end it, right?"

Ana held her hands up in surrender.

"I'm not judging you, and I'm not giving any advice regarding this. I'm the worst when it comes to romantic relationships. Too messy for me, always," Ana confessed.

"It's bad to say I'm a little relieved I'm not the only one with messy relationships?" Spencer asked, making her chuckle.

"Yeah. Not very nice of you, but understandable," Ana conceded, checking her phone. It was late, and she didn't want to take advantage of her welcome at Spencer's place. He walked her to the door, thanking her for listening to him.

After she left, Spencer plopped again on the couch. Apparently, it was confirmed talking about things brings some relief to people. That didn't mean he had any resolution, but at least he felt less overwhelmed. Ana was indeed a good listener.

They didn't talk again for a couple of days. Spencer thought it could be a time before she would get her residence. Bureaucracy is always about time.

And thinking about that, Spencer didn't get any response from Fogarty yet. That kept him a bit nervous.

But he didn't give him much of an issue either. The cases at the BAU kept him busy enough to become overly anxious. In the same way, having case after case kept him away from DC and, therefore, from the coffee shop and Ana.

The night Spencer returned to his place after a long case in New Heaven, he was skimming a new book with a cup of coffee in hand. Suddenly three loud knocks made him jump from his seat.

Opening the door, he saw Ana crying and totally drenched from the rain pouring outside. With no further question, Spencer took hold of her hand to lead her into the apartment.

"Hey, hey. Ana. What's wrong?" he asked after closing the door and inspecting Ana's face. The poor girl only could sob a babbled incoherent words. Incoherent words until Spencer paid more attention.

"Me van a deportar. Ellos - ellos me van a deportar. Estoy jodida. La cagué, Spencer. Ellos lo saben todo y me van a echar del país." (They are going to deport me. They - they are going to deport me. I'm screwed. I fucked it up, Spencer. They know all of it and they are going to kick me out of the US).

Spencer's eyes widened at the realization.

"Wait, what? How? How do they know?"

Still sobbing, Ana produced an envelope from her purse and gave it to him. It was a letter from the Immigration Office.

'Ms. Reid,

Regarding the new information submitted and after the visit of USCIS agents to your home, we instruct you and Mr. Reid to attend an Examination Interview, according to the legal faculties of US law. We'll inform you date and place of this interview as soon as our office determines it.'

"Oh," Spencer muttered. He knew green card interviews existed but didn't know much about them. What he did know after reading the letter was Jones and Gorski's visit didn't go as well as they thought.

"It's over," Ana lamented, drying her tears with her thumbs. And then Spencer snapped from his stupor.

"What?"

“Cómo que qué? Es obvio! Es imposible que vayamos a una entrevista así. No nos conocemos lo suficiente, y no podremos fingir como lo hicimos con los otros agentes, que por cierto poco funcionó. (What are you asking? It’s evident! There is no way we go to an interview like that. We don’t know each other that much, and we can’t fake the way we did with Jones and Gorski. And clearly it didn’t work either),” Ana complained, falling into crying again.

She had a point. Spencer heard that kind of interview could be very detailed. It wasn't surprising, though; the goal was to find the people lying about their marriage for the green card. Tragicomically, people like themselves.

"Ana, you need to calm down. Come on, sit here," Spencer helped her to the couch and sat by her side. "Now you need to breathe, please. Follow my lead."

As she tentatively did so, trying to subside the tears and the incipient hiccup, Spencer racked his brain, looking for a solution. It pained him to see Ana like this. He didn't even think about his own status yet.

"I'm sorry. It's my fault. I pulled you into this," Ana apologized when she found a steady breathing pattern.

"Don't say that. We're in this together, okay? I'm going to get you some water. Please, keep deep breathing," he said, patting Ana's hand before strolling to his kitchen.

While filling a glass with fresh water, Spencer's brain worked fast. The letter wasn't good news, but neither was an end road. They wanted to test them. And what do you do when you need to pass a test? Well, you study. That's what you do. Why should this be different?

Handing her the glass of water, Spencer sat again by Ana's side. The girl thanked him and downed the liquid relatively fast.

"I came here and didn't even call. I don't usually be like this. I mean, this kind of visceral and impulsive. I'm just- when I got the letter, I freaked out," Ana explained.

"I understand. And you did okay coming here. It's a lot and enough to be overwhelmed," Spencer said, taking the glass from her hands and leaving it on the coffee table.

"I guess. And I know this was a possibility, but I really thought we had pulled it off," Ana lamented, running a hand over her hair.

"We still can," Spencer pointed calmly, making Ana's head snap.

"What? You're considering we can go to the interview?"

"Yes. I do."

"But Spencer, they will ask everything about our life together. A life we don't have if you didn't notice."

"That's why we'll study."

"Study? Like for an exam?"

"Exactly."

"I know you have a Ph.D. and stuff, but this isn't something you just can memorize. I mean- yeah, maybe I could remember your mother's and colleagues' names, but it doesn't mean I know you."

Ana had a point. Memorizing facts was only part of the deal. But Spencer was determined to make it work.

"That's why we'll get to know each other to prove them wrong."

"And how do you suggest doing that? Living like a real husband and wife?" Ana laughed. But it subsided quickly when she saw Spencer's serious demeanor. "Are you saying-?" She asked, now worried about the implications.

"No. Not like that. I mean, we can improve our knowledge of each other by sharing our routines. Not doing marital life, of course, but as friends or roommates? It could work."

Ana wondered what was worse: marrying a complete stranger to get the green card or living with your stranger husband to pass an exam to get the green card. Had she a choice? Sure, she had one: running from Spencer's apartment to make her suitcase and leave the US for good. But it wasn't what she wanted.

"So, you are suggesting we should live together?" Ana double-checked. Spencer nodded.

"Until the interview. I mean- we can be roommates. I have a spare room you can use. And we can study in our free time. Of course, we can do this only if you are okay with it. If not, we can think of another thing," Spencer clarified, knowing it was a lot. It was for him, at least, but he was willing to try it.

It was absurd, but at this point, what it wasn't?

There wasn't much thinking about what to do. After talking to Spencer that night, Ana was determined to give the best interview ever to get her residence. So she accepted Spencer's offer.

Ana kept reassuring herself with her suitcase in hand as she was about to knock on Spencer's door that Sunday afternoon.

It would be a couple of weeks. They hoped so, but there wasn't any certain. The letter said they would be notified of the interview date, and Spencer did his research, and it could be at least a matter of weeks.

Spencer opened the door and invited her in.

"Well, you already know the living room, the bathroom, and the kitchen. Please, feel free to place your things where you prefer. I'll take you to your room," he told her, walking down the hall.

The bedroom was a more decent size, larger than the room she rented. It had a small window that faced the street, and one of the walls adjoined Spencer's room.

As she scanned the place, Spencer watched her intently.

"You don't have to do this if you don't want to. We can always find another alternative," Spencer told Ana, suspecting the doubts she might still have. That got Ana out of the inspection mode.

"Spencer, it's okay. You're right. It's the efficient way to go. And it will be only for a couple of weeks. It's me who would be asking if you're okay with this. This's your place. I'm the intruder here."

What Ana said was true. Spencer was used to living alone. He only shared a place when he was studying at Caltech, and it was only for a few months. After that, he got used to being alone. Even Maeve hadn't stayed more than one night when she visited.

"Don't say that. I suggested it and wouldn't if I'm not okay with it. I would tell you I am excellent company as a roommate, but I would be lying," Spencer declared, making Ana chuckle. "I assure you, though, you can feel free to be in this apartment as if it were yours. Now I'll leave you so you can settle in."

That was sweet of him, Ana thought. Sure, it was in both parties' interests this turn out well, but it still seemed to Ana that Spencer was doing more than expected.

She was left tidying her clothes and her other belongings. They agreed to start studying that night over dinner.

When Ana left the room a few hours later, Spencer had a pizza box on the table and was brewing coffee.

"It's probably not as good as the one you make, but I hope it works," he told her, pointing to the pot.

"I'm sure it will."

After eating a few slices of pizza, the conversation turned to Ana and her life since arriving in the US.

"I have been working at the coffee shop for six months now. This is my only income. I live in a small room I can rent, and I have nobody here," she recounted, sipping her coffee.

"What about your coworker? Is she your friend?" Spencer asked, biting another pizza slide.

"Who? Sarah? I guess. She is nice, but I wouldn't say she is my friend-friend," Ana acknowledged.

"And you left friends in your hometown?"

Ana thought about that for a moment.

"Not really, if I'm honest. I'm not very friendly in general. Not here, not there. And don't you dare to judge me for that, okay?" Ana said defensively. Spencer shook his head.

"Hey. I'm not judging you. I wouldn't consider myself much friendly either, you know?" he said. Ana nodded in understanding.

"And I bet people nag you about it all the time," she filled. Spencer chuckled.

"Sort of. But now, I interpret it as a form of concern. It is not always welcomed, though."

"Oh boy, I feel you," Ana agreed, grabbing another pizza slide from the box. "My turn," she prefaced. "What about you? FBI, uh?" Spencer nodded.

"Yes. I got to the Academy when I was twenty. I started as a profiler in the Behavioral Analysis Unit at twenty-two." Ana's eyes widened.

"You fucking kidding me? How is it you were an FBI agent at twenty-two? Didn't you say you had a Ph.D.?" Ana tried to assemble the pieces.

"Uh - well. Three Ph.D., actually. I graduated from school at twelve," Spencer clarified.

"Wow. I thought Doogie Howser didn't exist!" Ana said, amazed. Spencer's brows furrowed.

"Who?" he asked. Was Ana talking about a scientist he didn't know?

"You know, the young medical doctor? The guy who performed surgeries at fourteen?" she clued, but Spencer's face showed no recognition.

"It was a famous TV show! Well, it was where I lived. With the Latin American translation, of course."

A TV show; that's why Spencer didn't hear any of it.

"Oh. I'm sorry. I don't know much about pop culture," he apologized. Of course, it wasn't the first time it happened to him. It was like a continuous remembrance of every Monday's first talk with Garcia when she rambles about her weekend.

"Don't blame you. I watched a lot of shit in my youth, to be honest," Ana dismissed, seeing the troubled expression on Spencer's face.

They talked for a few hours until the yawning came. Since they both had to get up early in the morning, they agreed to go to sleep and continue the next day.

Ana fell asleep with the idea that it had to work out no matter how strange all this was. Spencer drew the same conclusion before falling into a deep sleep.

The next morning, when Spencer came out of his room fully dressed, he noticed Ana had already left for work, leaving a pot of freshly brewed coffee on the counter and a note: 'Good morning. Here's a little treat for the hospitality.'

Spencer smiled, serving a cup and taking a sip of - in his opinion - the best coffee in DC.

When Ana returned from her shift in the middle of the afternoon, the apartment was expectably empty. Having more time than the day before, she took her time to look around. In addition to the shelves lined with books, she noted the few photographs Spencer had. In one of them, a young Spencer appeared with presumably his mother. The resemblance was undeniable. In others, with a group of people. Ana recognized some of them from the afternoon Spencer went to the coffee shop with his colleagues. But if Ana had to compare, more academic certificates were hanging on the walls than photographs. That contributed to Spencer's statement of being a man with little sociability.

She felt creepy peering into Spencer's apartment that way, but she had to learn more about him and prepare for the interview. That was the reason she gave herself, although the curiosity the pumpkin pie boy prompted in her was undeniable.

Late at night, Spencer still had yet to arrive. Ana suspected perhaps he had had to leave the city. Her suspicions were confirmed by a text message later. 'Sorry, I should have notified you sooner. I went to North Carolina on a case. I'll be back in a few days. SR.'

Spencer came back from North Carolina after four days. Exhausted, he was about to leave the BAU after the debriefing when his phone rang. Without looking at the caller-ID, he answered.

"Hello?"

"Dr. Reid? I'm calling from Dr. Fogarty's office. We want to arrange a new meeting with you and your wife to agree on the conditions for your mother's admission to the medical trial. When do you think we can schedule this meeting?"

Spencer kept flabbergasted after the call. Did that mean they had already accepted his mom? They still wanted a meeting with him and his wife. Shit. They wanted to meet Ana. He would have to ask her to come with him—this time with a complete and convincing story about them. He hoped Ana wouldn't have issues about it.

"That's great, Spencer! They only want us to make it official," Ana reassured him. "And, of course, I will go with you." Any apprehension he had was no longer there. Ana was willing, and she seemed truly happy by the news.

"We need to study then," Spencer asserted. That made Ana's smile falter. It was late already, and she had had a hard shift that day.

"Now?" Ana narrowed her eyes.

"Yes. The meeting is in two days. We need to be prepared," Spencer told her, patting the free spot on the couch.

Ana huffed but sat on the couch by his side nonetheless.

"Fine. Okay. What do you want to know today?" she asked, crisscrossing her legs, facing Spencer.

"We should start with the basics. Tell me where you were born and about your family."

Ana bit her lower lip. She wasn't keen on talking about her family but knew Spencer should learn everything about her.

"Okay. Here we go. I was born in a small town named Campanario in 1982. My father's name was Alberto González, and my mother's was María Galvez. They are both deceased."

"I'm sorry," Spencer mumbled.

"It's okay. It's been a while already. My mom died when I was twelve. My dad four years ago. I don't have any siblings, or at least that I know of. I'm not sure if my dad had any more children after he left my mom," Ana shrugged.

"So your dad didn't stay with you for too long," Spencer pointed.

"No. But enough time to not want to see him again. He left when I was nine. I only went to his funeral because I knew my mom wouldn't forgive me if I didn't. So much so I'm sure she would come to haunt me in my sleep," Ana let out a sad chuckle. Spencer looked at her, seeing the longing in her eyes. That told him Ana and her mom's bond must have been strong.

"Okay. Your turn," Ana said, grabbing a notepad and a pen from the coffee table. Spencer frowned. "What? I need to take notes. I don't have a brain like yours."

Spencer told Ana about his family and a bit of his childhood. His mom's illness and his dad leaving. What he had to do with his mom when he turned eighteen.

Many of the things he said were recounted as facts- like he was telling a story it wasn't his life. But behind the calm and steady voice, Ana could sense how affected he was for most of them. She couldn't help the comment leaving her mouth.

"I guess we both have enough daddy issues to fill anyone's gap." Once the words left her mouth, she regretted it. She crossed a line, and it was wrong. But she got confused when she saw Spencer laughing.

"You know? When I have to tell this to anyone, the most common phrases I hear are, 'Oh, I'm sorry,' 'It's so sad,' 'Poor kid,' and so on. It's refreshing to see someone trading empathetic words with a tint of irony," Spencer explained.

"Wow. It's good you see it that way. I was thinking of getting my ass kicked because of this," Ana spoke after an exaggerated sigh, prompting Spencer to shake his head and keep laughing.

The meeting with Fogarty was arranged for a Thursday at 4 pm. Ana finished her shift after lunch that day, and Spencer asked Emily for the afternoon off. Spencer picked Ana up from the apartment and drove to the sanitarium. After putting their rings on in the car, they reviewed some details they had discussed in the previous days.

"Dr. Reid. It's good to see you again," Fogarty greeted, shaking Spencer's hand before shifting his gaze to Ana. "And you must be Mrs. Reid."

"Ana Reid. Nice to meet you," Ana extended her hand to Fogarty.

After the formal greetings, Fogarty guided them into the office and invited them to sit.

"Well, Dr. Reid. As my assistant told you by phone, I wanted to review with you and your wife some details regarding your mother's placement in the medical trial," Fogarty explained.

"That means my mom got the spot?" Spencer asked for clarification, and Fogarty nodded.

"Yes, she did. Due to your current marital status and with all the other requirements filled, there does no impede for Diana Reid to getting into the program."

"That's awesome, baby," Ana happily said, squeezing Spencer's hand and looking at him.

"Yes. It is," Spencer confirmed, kissing Ana's knuckles. Fogarty smiled at the couple.

"How long have you known each other? I'm asking since I can see you have only been married for a month," the doctor asked. It was a question Spencer and Ana had rehearsed before.

"A long time, you know?" Ana started. "We met in Vegas when we were young, but after Spencer left for college, we lost contact."

"Yeah. I really thought I would never see her again. Until we found each other here in DC four years ago," Spencer added.

"You must be asking why we didn't marry before," Ana anticipated. "It was kind of my fault. I love Spencer with all my heart, but I'm not a huge believer in institutional bonds, you know? Don't get me wrong; I've been married to him in heart and soul since we reunited years ago, but doing it on paper wasn't my priority until he told me about this opportunity for Diana. That's why I considered it. He didn't want to tell me so I wouldn't feel forced to do it, but it would have been selfish of me not to if I already know I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him," Ana confided Fogarty.

The couple also agreed upon that explanation, but Ana made it so natural that Spencer was impressed. It felt less plausible when they were rehearsing it.

"You must really love Dr. Reid, then. Considering this particular situation, you agreed on something you didn't contemplate before," Fogarty pointed. Ana's cheeks flushed. This time she was projecting her current situation and the fact she actually did something she didn't think of doing. Of course, she has a powerful reason to, but Spencer's motivations were somehow in the mix.

"After knowing, I didn't doubt it. I love Diana, but furthermore, it's for the love Spencer has for her. They always have been each other rock, and I know he would do anything for her and vice versa. Between Diana's illness and Spencer's job, things have not been easy for them," Ana paused before continuing. "You know, I lost my mom in my early youth, and still, there are some hard days for me. That's why I treasure being part of the Reid family. It's a privilege I pretend to honor in all my capacity."

Fogarty looked satisfied with the answer, and Spencer didn't expect it at all. That wasn't something they talked about or agreed to say, and it touched Spencer's heart. His eyes were fixed on her, and Ana could feel it. That's why she fought the urge to look at him back.

Fogarty continued the meeting with technical details about Diana's arrival and the first steps on her treatment. Then he dispatched the couple because he had another appointment.

Ana and Spencer didn't talk until they were in the car, taking their rings off.

"Thank you," Spencer said to Ana, who smiled at him.

"Don't mention it. I told you I would come with you," she reminded him.

"And for what you said there, too. I mean, the last part about being a Reid?" Ana's cheeks tinted a shade of pink.

"Oh. That. Sorry if it was too much," Ana apologized in advance. Spencer shook his head.

"Not at all. Is it something you think, though? I mean, leaving aside the part of us being actually- you know-" he trailed off.

"Leaving aside the part of us being actually in love? Yes." Ana conceded. Spencer nodded, not knowing what else to say.

To salvage them of an awkward moment, Ana changed the subject. "Well, I guess this calls for a celebration, huh?"

"Yeah, sure," Spencer agreed.

"How about a homemade dinner? I can prepare it," she offered. Spencer shook his head.

"Ana, you don't have to. We can order something," he tried to persuade her.

"No. None of that. Your mom got a spot in a top medical trial. That's great news. You can't celebrate it with pizza or Chinese. But we need to go to the grocery store. With what you have in the fridge, we won't do anything, honestly," Ana complained. Spencer huffed. "Hey, am I lying? Can you name the last meal you cooked with ingredients from your fridge?" Spencer rolled his eyes.

"Fine. We're going to the grocery store, then."

Walking through the aisles, Ana carefully scanned the shelves to pick the needed products. Spencer followed her with the cart, half full of things he had never bought.

"Are you sure we need all of this?" Spencer asked, worried. After putting in the cart two bags of frozen corn, Ana replied.

"Of course. What I want to cook needs veggies, carbs, and meat. Not to mention we need to buy more things for your empty pantry."

"Hey. It's not empty!" Spencer protested.

"Sorry, you're right. It's not empty, just filled with boxes of cereal and coffee beans," Ana corrected mockingly.

"The essentials," Spencer pointed.

"I should have already suspected this after seeing the sugar you put in your coffee. I don't get it, though."

"What?"

"I mean, you're a certificated genius. I bet you have read a lot of research about unhealthy habits and what they can do to you," she said and turned to scan what brand of peas she would choose.

"Sure, I had done it. It doesn't mean I do something about it," Spencer recognized, and Ana looked at him. "I'm not proud, okay? But it had been my life since I can remember," he shrugged. Ana's expression softened. Now connecting the dots, it made sense to her.

"Well, that's why I'm going to show you what you have been missing here, mister," Ana teased. Spencer arched a brow.

"It's doctor, remember?"

"Yeah, yeah. Husband-doctor. Why don't you go to get the bread, honey? I'll weigh these tomatoes, and I’ll join you there,” Ana winked. Spencer chuckled.

"Yes, ma'am."

Spencer did so, driving the cart two aisles down and submerging himself in diverse bread types. When he was choosing his brand, a voice it wasn’t Ana's called him.

"Boy wonder?"

"Oh. Hey, Garcia," Spencer chimed like someone caught doing something illicit. "What - what are you doing here?" He stuttered, looking around uncomfortably.

"You know, getting some new shoes," Penelope quipped, but Spencer didn't flinch. "What do you think, genius? The same as you, doing grocery!"

"Oh, yeah. Of course, you do."

Spencer kept standing as Penelope examined his nervous demeanor. Shifting her gaze to the cart, she knew something was off.

"Are you alone?"

"Me? Oh, yeah -" Spencer was about to assure when Ana's voice stopped him mid-sentence.

"I can believe how expensive this store is. These vegetables-" Ana stopped talking when she saw Spencer in front of a blonde she recognized from the coffee shop.

Shit.

Spencer turned to see Ana standing behind him with a bag of tomatoes. "I mean, no. Not alone," Spencer corrected. Garcia arched a brow, an amused smile on her face.

"I know you," Garcia told Ana.

Double shit.

This wasn't expected. Not at all. What would they say now?

“You’re the girl from the coffee shop,” Penelope realized. Ana looked at Spencer for a sign about who would handle this. He nodded subtly.

“Yes. She is. Penelope, this is my friend Ana from Vegas; Ana, this is my friend Penelope from the BAU.”

“Hi! Nice to meet you. Although my curiosity strikes again. Friends from Vegas? It didn’t seem you knew each other when we were at the coffee shop,” Penelope pointed as she shook Ana’s hand.

“Yeah. About that,” Spencer prefaced. “I know you guys. If I had told you we knew each other, you wouldn’t have let her alone, and she was working.”

Penelope scoffed.

“We are not that bad! But okay, maybe we have made a little interrogation. Anyway, what’s the story? Why I haven't heard about you before?”

Ana saw how Spencer’s brain was about to combust, so she thought she could help.

“Well, we lost contact after Spencer left Vegas for college, and I moved with my family to South America. I only returned to the US a year ago and settled in DC the last September, starting at the coffee shop. One day I arrived at work, and Spencer was there. So, in short, you could say we are still reconnecting in our friendship,” Ana explained.

“Oh! Old friendship. I like that. And you sure you’re not dating? I mean, you are doing grocery together. If anyone sees you would say you look like a couple.”

“Penelope!” Spencer scolded. Ana chuckled at the straightforwardness.

“We’re not dating. We are just getting some things here because I promised Spencer to cook him a decent meal,” Ana explained. Garcia’s eyes widened.

“Oh! That's awesome! Gods know how badly this boy needs a homemade meal from time to time.”

“That's what I have been told him,” Ana seconded.

“Can you please at least acknowledge I’m right here?” Spencer complaint.

“We say these things because we love you, boy wonder,” Garcia said, patting Spencer’s shoulder. Ana smiled at Garcia’s display of affection and the cute pout Spencer sported. It seemed more than a relationship between colleagues. They looked like real friends. She made a mental note about it to ask Spencer later.

Her notification ring distracted Penelope from the interrogation she had Ana and Spencer in. Checking the phone, she huffed in frustration.

“What is it, Garcia?” Spencer asked, worried.

“Nah. It’s not a big deal. I just got canceled the dinner I had tonight. And silly me buying nice things,” she complained, peering at her cart.

“I’m sorry,” Spencer mumbled.

“Don’t be. Sergio will be better company tonight. Okay, you two, I’ll let you be. It was nice to meet you, nice girl,” Garcia prompted her goodbyes. Ana saw Spencer’s sad face. It was like he wanted to do something for his friend but didn’t know what.

“You know, I’ll make a typical dish I learned from my mom’s family. I don't mind ‘pelar otra papa y poner algo más de agua en la olla,’ really,” Ana said. Both Spencer and Garcia looked at her, puzzled. The girl laughed. “I just said I don’t mind having another guest at dinner. The more, the merrier,” she clarified, looking at Spencer for if she had gone too far. Spencer smiled.

“Oh, no. I don’t want to intrude on a dinner between old friends,” Penelope dismissed. Spencer scoffed.

“Come on, Garcia. I know you are dying to ask more about Ana, me, and our life,” Spencer affirmed. Penelope narrowed her eyes and opened her mouth, faking offense.

“I would never! But since you insist so kindly. Let’s taste Ana’s dish,” Garcia cheered.

Spencer and Ana shared a complicity look. This dinner and this night promise to be exciting, no doubt of it.

——————

Previous chapter < > Next chapter

——————

Spencer Reid's Taglist: @dreatine @nomajdetective @jayyeahthatsme @rosalinasam2 @averyhotchner @tvandfanfic @lovelyxtom @princessmiaelicia @pastelbabygirl19 @reidsbookclub @alexxavicry @gspenc @spencerreidisbae123 @calmspencer @pauline5525mgg @disaster-in-waiting @anamiad00msday @milivanili99 @laylasbunbunny @leahblackk @miaxx03 @missabsey

#spencer reid #criminal minds #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid angst #spencer reid fluff #spencer reid smut #dr. spencer reid #spencer reid x fem!oc #spencer reid x oc #spencer reid x latina!oc #spencer reid fanfic #spencer reid fanfictions #spencer reid series #green card #spencer reid x original female character

36 notes · View notes

heavensmortuary · 8 months

Note

Something that helped me was reading the first chapter of habbakuk, I do studies with vernon mcgee which makes it easier to understand it too. But, the chapter starts with the prophet crying out at God's seeming indifference to evil acts. And reveals that God was working but it is behind the scenes. It shows judgement is coming and it will be appropriate for the crime commited. Israel was ripped apart for the crimes they commited, and the chaldeans were later ripped apart as well for the crimes they commited to them. But, also, in the study it showed that God is always working and you will never outrun judgement even if it is received on the last day when he returns (tbh you get it now too in a way that sin has negative social and physical impacts). I kind of am babbling but I hope this helps or even makes sense, since I've been struggling with this too. My anger gets so bad some days that I feel sick. When reading the bible I always grab a historical reference cause reading about the old enemies really puts it in perspectives that things haven't changed that much. Just some thoughts though, like I said I'm incoherent at the best of times.

I honestly didn't think about that. man. yeah that makes sense. I think it's one of those things where our only frame of reference for this life is this life and anything outside of it doesn't feel real. don't remember where I read it but something about how the next life will be more real than now, and the judgement then will matter more than the one received now. which is scary on. well. our end as well even if we aren't murderers or rapists or puppy kickers. but at least its there and it's not left uneven, if anything, God has promised some form of fairness. even if I don't have the strength to forgive like He does either. I don't know

having a historical reference rather than looking at the current situation is a great idea, I'll take that into account. thank you so much anon

#anon #asks #krakens croaks

12 notes · View notes

creativebrainrot · 5 months

Text

once again I am online thinking incoherent thoughts.

theres a weird almost-mourning of moving on from this house? I don't have anything to actively mourn about moving on from this chapter. I never loved my bedroom- it was just the only safe place I had. I won't miss the bathroom I've taken so many showers in. I've cried in that room more times in twenty years than I ever should've cried at all. Also its so fucking hard to keep that room clean its disgusting. The "living room" has been, nothing, my entire life.

I won't even miss this town- first of all because I never liked it in the first place. Second of all because it's changed so much that I already miss what I used to love about it. The orange lights over the quiet streets as my dad and I came home from grocery shopping on a silent night when I was little, has been gone for years now.

I'm not losing anything except debt and memories of abuse. I am more than happy to leave that behind you would not even believe.

It's like I want, or expect, to be afraid? To be scared? But I'm ready to be scared about "normal" things. I'm ready to cry because I've been overwhelmed by my new found freedom. im ready to cry myself to sleep again, because I've realized im finally free. I'm ready to suffer through unlearning. I'm ready for the hardships of finally, finally, moving on.

When I was 10 I had dreamed of going to college and moving out by the time I was 23-ish.

When I was 12 I saw my father withdrawn from me. Stop caring about me. Stop trying, with me.

When I was 16 I experienced "Bleakness" for the first time in my life for a few months of the new year. I was resigned to nothing getting better.

When I was 8, I had my first suicidal thoughts. You read that correctly.

By the time I was 18 I was so sure, in the back of my mind, that nothing would get better. That my dad and I would have to ghost out to an apartment some miles away. That we would struggle. That it'd be only slightly better than living with our abuser. I was so ready for the rest of my life to be mostly me wandering without a guide or any idea of how to be human, barely making anything work.

I was so certain that I would wander around aimlessly without a single idea how to feel until I died.

we've been given a second chance. I'm ready to suffer through healing. I'm ready to be afraid through new dawns I never imagined.

I don't know what I'll end up liking for long-term income, but I have some ideas.

I'll finally have the room to even be allowed to feel fulfilled. No one will ruin it for us anymore.

No more debt we can't even conceptualize. No more abuse that lasts an entire year after the fucker killed himself. We're free. I cannot wait to meet myself again, on better terms in a much better place.

#rotthoughts #creativelyrottedmind #open journal #suicide mention #tw suicide

4 notes · View notes

dull-c · 2 years

Text

ck fic recs (lawrusso edition)

ok so! i have been promising my irl pal (and other favourite italian) @lionlikenick a fic rec list for uh, a really long time, and then getting easily distracted as I am wont to do. but right now it’s sunday night and I am putting off writing my own fanfic, so I’m DOING IT NOW things to note: *these are all daniel/johnny (or daniel/johnny/amanda) - i’ll probably do a separate one for my other ck ships and gen ck fic at some stage, but this post is gonna be long and unwieldy and incoherent enough as it is, best save it for later.

*my preference is the old men, so this rec list leans very heavily in that direction, but there are some tkk era recs in here too

*this is not at all an exhaustive list. I have read a fair chunk of fic in the last few months, but still barely scraped the surface of what’s on ao3, so if you look at this list and think ‘oh well X fic is a GLARING OMISSION’ its less likely that I thought it wasn't good enough and more likely I haven’t read it yet (so please rec me any glaring omissions in the notes. or just rec me your favs either way!)

*I have generally left off WIPs for obvious reasons, except for one rec, simply because i dig it and because even if it was never updated again I feel it would still be a satisfying read

ok, on with the actual recs! (in no particular order)

bruises fade to yellow by objectlesson ( @alienfuckeronmain )

summary: daniel’s getting impatient with johnny

this hurt my feelings so good!! OL has a way of writing fic that feels very real - very true to the characters even when it’s a little hard to read. this one made me literally a bit breathless from feelings, one of which was, honestly, slight fear for everyone’s wellbeing.

other favs from this author: eclairs (utterly, utterly filthy - yeah don't pretend you’re not into that - but somehow also deeply romantic? it’s more likely than you think!)

little extra fighter’s chance by indigostohelit

summary: daniel starts writing letters while he’s recovering from his leg injury

this is such a delightfully soft fic. simple concept, incredibly good execution. that last paragraph punched me in the heart but not in a bad way. in the way that i like to be punched in the heart

other favs from this author: with your car, with your best shot and the name of the game series. (both of these are dark - drastically tonally different to the above, though no less beautifully written or less of a heart punch, so yeah, heed the warnings aight?)

mexico city by @deputychairman

summary: johnny & daniel follow miguel & sam to mexico city

this is the aforementioned WIP that I was unwilling to leave out because look, I am simply obsessed with this fic. DC is a master of tension and slow burn and her characterisation is bang on and I just -- ok there’s really no dignified way to say this but I had a full emotional meltdown reading some of the later chapters. like literally had to read and re-read the same sentences over and over because I was experiencing Every Emotion known to me, and possibly some previously undiscovered ones too. read it! (update: this fic is now complete!!)

other favs from this author: the high school reunion, class of 85 series (inhaled this. adored it. i wish the photo of them at the reunion was a real tangible thing that I could look at ;_;)

gravestone flowers by menocchio ( @nomercyonlytears )

summary: an alternate universe take that sticks close to the cobra kai canon but where J & D are messy exes

feels almost redundant to rec menocchio, as who among us is not aware of them and has not devoured their novel-length delicious fic en masse?? but still! just because someone is popular doesn't mean we should be complacent re: kudos, right? so! this was the first fic i read of theirs and oof i was so very invested in the silly, pining old men. it made me laugh and ache and cry a little bit and all the things that good fiction does. I’ve read it all the way through twice and still think about it sometimes when I hear a journey song

other favs from this author: signal studies (emotionally compromising - that ending jesus fucking christopher) and valley drop (short, sexy and funny)

you may have all you want baby [but I got something you need] by potrix ( @potrix-the-queerschlaeger )

summary: for some reason everyone keeps thinking daniel and johnny are together ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

I dig this fic for the same reason I love the sharing food scene displayed reverently in my profile pic, because I am a sucker for the tough (lucille bluth wink dot gif) old karate men in soft married couple mode. also features one of my favourite things in ck fic, louie being subjected to daniel & johnny’s romantic machinations against his will.

wouldn’t it be nice by @trinityofone

summary: johnny and bobby go searching for daniel after he doesn't show at school

I love time travel stories, and this is a real neat take! I also love the way it’s initially from bobby’s pov, so you’re just as confused as he is about what exactly happened, and it being revealed is sort of it’s own delicious sweet, slow burn.

other favs from this author: the rules of the game (I firmly believe this is exactly the kind of dumb boy shit johnny and daniel would pull if they and amanda were a throuple)

pro (con) forma by @thereminwriting

summary: johnny asks daniel to marry him

fake marriage trope my beloved!!! honestly, I was just ecstatic reading this, from start to finish. like all of theremin’s stories it’s so charming, so true to the characters, not flowery-- but with much heart. I just read it again right now and I will read it again very soon.

other favs from this author: come prima (i’m a sucker for them being still-in-love exes - refer to menocchio rec above - and this one was so tenderly done.)

negative analog by @ezlebe

summary: johnny and daniel find out something we all been knew

I love a good soulmate au! and this one is a beautifully crafted one. no spoilers, but there was something that daniel said in a later part of this fic that just broke me in half. so if you haven't read it I recommend you go do that and get broken in half too.

other favs from this author: super like (hot! sexy! made me ~actually blush~. features bottom!jlawz which I have a bit of a soft spot for.)

adore you by comedia ( @comediakaidanovsky )

summary: johnny and daniel go on a date

this is a short, established relationship fic that is just sweet and charming and soft and funny, and feels just like a comforting cup of hot chocolate on a cold day <3

last night i had a dream by @shortcrust

summary: johnny and daniel over the years

i’m a simple lady with simple needs and my needs are the canon-divergent alternate universe in this fic. johnny and daniel having a life of love and family and joy. this one gets rec’d all the time and for good reason. just go read this lovely fic, and let it wrap you up in a warm, gentle hug.

quitters by goldstargrl

summary: johnny finally goes to therapy

there is a real dark incident at the core of this fic that i’m not sure ‘mental health issues’ is enough of a warning for, so tread carefully if you’re going in. that acknowledged, I found it really compelling, well written and I really liked that it went to emotional character depths that we’ll never see in canon.

other favs from this author: what you got (lawrusso romance AND a robby fix-it? you love to see it)

feather in the quiver by rumcherry

summary: daniel texts a stranger by mistake... or is it a stranger??

okay so, you have to suspend a little bit of disbelief regarding them not realising it’s each other after approx five seconds, but IF you can do that you should because this fic is a really sweet and endearing read and I was solidly entertained.

heartlines by @storyshark2005

summary: something is happening with daniel and johnny

this is another soulmates au, with a very different tone and interpretation than the above one I rec’d, but I honestly couldn’t tell you which one I liked more. the writing in this one is moving and so evocative and the image from the last paragraph lives in my head rent free

#claire's fic recs #cobra kai fic #lawrusso

66 notes · View notes

thefinalcinderella · 2 years

Text

Ep 6 Part 3.2 live reaction post

These are just my thoughts as I go through the story...sorry for the incoherence and capital letters

Honestly all I can say is: twst, what a game you are

IDIA OVERBLOT OMGGGGGGG HIS FUCKING TEETH

STILL A NERD THO

It’s hard to take him seriously when he still talks like a gamer boy

Idia’s unique magic????

HOLY SHIT ORTHO’S VOICE COMING OUT OF THE PHANTOM IS SO FUCKING FUNNY IT’S SO CUTE

THE PHANTOMS ARE INSIDE ORTHO HOLY SHIT

GRIM WHAT ARE YOU DOING THERE

Riddle and Azul don’t have driver’s licenses

IS THAT A MOTHERFUCKING REFERENCE TO THE APRIL FOOL’S PRANK THIS YEAR

LMAO THERE WAS AN ANIMATION WITH THE CHARIOT

Aw great he heals himself

interesting the overblot voicelines are a combination of idia and ortho

lmao the lightning spears have a speech bubble

it’s impressive how they managed to make chibis look cool

ORTHO’S SCREAM IS SO FUNNY IT’S SO CUTE

OH HE’S ON FIRE NOW

HOLY SHIT RIDDLE’S HAIR IS WHITE!!! WHAT’S GOING ON!!

HE AGED BECAUSE HE GOT TOO CLOSE TO THE “UNDERWORLD”!!!?? (oh I get the “darkness” mechanic now”

OH WOW ORTHO IS ACTUALLY CLIMBING THE WALLS OF TARTARU LIKE SPIDER-MAN

OH WOW WE’RE BATTLING FROM THE CHARIOT NOW

Oh wow Idia looks so sad whenever Ortho gets hit by the lightning...and then he turns into flames

Phantom Ortho is so cute

It’s so nice that Vil includes rescuing Grim in his plan...I don’t know why I feel this way, but this is why he’s in my top 10

Ooh Epel’s driving

Pomefiore is my second family

damn remember when the last chapter was about a talent show

Ooh unlimited battle

Wow they went all out with the battle animations

I hate this HP-eating mechanic

fuck i lost...this is gonna take a while

nvm I beat them in my third try

Oh no Ortho

And Idia’s back! And conscious!

Grim’s back!!

Ortho fell into Tartarus! Idia’s going with him! And Grim too!

Vil what are you doing !!!

Rook: Vil!!!!!!!

Oh wow overblot flashback

Ooh Idia’s childhood room

Ooh it’s angsty: basically, Idia and Ortho wanted to go outside of headquarters to go on an adventure, so Idia hacked into security, but it turns out he hacked into Tartarus’s security and unleashed a phantom that attacked them. When Idia woke up, Ortho was gone, and the phantom is sealed. Idia decides to “make” a new Ortho

Gee Idia how come you get two overblot flashback chapters

Wow Idia...needs therapy

OMG ORTHO WITHOUT A FACE COVERING

IM CRYING RIGHT NOW

WHAT HAPPENED TO VIL

OH MY FUCKING GOD VIL’S OLD NOW

He’s taking it well though

GRIM!!! AIBOU!!!!

Ortho broke Lethe

I wonder if Riddle’s hair turning white is a Kaneki reference

Yeah Idia you better pay for our dorm renovations

lmao everyone’s expecting Idia back at school to pay for the damages (in other words, they want to see him back at school with them)

LMAO VIL’S CRYING!!!!! IT’S SO SHRILL AND EAR PIERCING

VIL CRIED FOR 3 HOURS ON THE WAY BACK TO SCHOOL

wow didn’t know kalim’s voice can go that high

LMAO KALIM TACKLED JAMIL AND NOW HE CAN’T GET UP

LMAO JADE WAS SCARING EVERYONE BY SAYING “WHAT IF THEY DIED?”

EVEN DIASOMNIA IS SHOOK BY VIL

DEUS EX MALLEUS

Man I don’t even want to imagine how hard Ep 7 is going to be

holy shit vil’s screech-- have you considered a career in slapstick comedy?

MABUUUUU

Malleus learns: old age

DEUS EX GRIM

So basically: Grim swallowed robot Ortho’s memory chip, Idia made a new Ortho body and put the chip in, but tells him that he doesn’t have to pretend to be his brother anymore and that he’s free, since for some reason (either the blot or the lightning spears) Ortho’s circuits have become fundamentally different, like he has free will (I’m paraphrasing). Ortho decides to be Idia’s younger brother because Idia is someone who can’t be left alone (I’m sure I’m missing something but that’s the gist)

RAMSHACKLE DORM IS FANCY NOW

GHOST UNCLES!!

MC’s room is fancy (it’s actually CG, it’s still the old room) because they spent most of the VDC money on the plumbing

I hope they grilled you good Crowley

Ortho’s officially a student now! And he gets a school uniform gear! And he’s in 1-C!!

Through the power of plot, Ortho now has a “heart” but he’s still a robot

“MONSIEUR WONDER” I’M HOWLING

Of course because the school got a lot of money from STYX to fix the damages, they couldn’t turn down letting Ortho enroll as a student

Yeah Idia you better look awkward and ashamed

Idia gives us a game...like that will make up for everything...but okay

Crowley sus

Oh thank god it’s a rhythmic

Oh we got a tv now

What’s that square doing there

Rook: Ortho’s memory card is a soul

MICKEY (I will never get over this)

GRIM CAN’T SEE MICKEY AND MICKEY CAN’T SEE GRIM OR ANYTHING ELSE IN THE ROOM EXCEPT MC (it’s the same for us as well)

HOLY SHIT MICKEY ARE YOU SAYING WHAT I THINK YOU’RE SAYING

While we were away, Mickey saw Silver in our room (although he disappeared quickly)

Dream world on the other side of the mirror

Malleus: Lilia...old age...spinning wheel...thread...easily cut off...

Can’t wait to read ep 7 in a year or two guys

#twisted wonderland

82 notes · View notes

limoneads · 1 year

Note

who are your top three favorite game of thrones characters and why?

i spent wayyyy to much time thinking about my little dudes. this took me like four hours because i kept going back and deleting because i couldn't decide on them oops. i know it's taken me literally forever to answer this, but i've been thinkin thoughts in my car. and i'm going to go by book only characters from the first two in the series bc i like the way they're characterized a lot more and they're the ones i'm most familiar with. i also want you to know that i'm incredibly incoherent

jon snow. i know i'm basic for this one. i know i am. but he's the game of thrones version of an anime protagonist. i think that this is extremely funny- in one chapter, he crushes a frozen lemon with his fist and it's never elaborated on again (??? what was the reason for this??), he has a literal albino pet wolf who's name is ghost :) who he loves very much, he's fiercely protective over his friends and new brothers and also just, like, a good dude?? he just tries to stand up for what's right, and in a world where pretty much every character is just trying to get more political power, it's a refreshing choice. i'd also like to mention that he's fourteen at the start of the books, and he gets to be an all around edgy westerosi teen, but he's also just a good kid and i think that's so lovely of him. there's a line of him showing his cool new sword to his wolf and he goes something like "look it's you :)" bc his broskis made him a new pommel in the shape of a wolfs head!! absolute lovely moment. every so often, you're reminded he's just some kid. he loves his family so much and i'm sad that he only gets a few scenes with them at the beginning of the book. okay, by family i mean arya, but they're really cute. he's really close with his little (half) sister arya and messes up her hair a lot. he gives her a sword as a parting gift :) and they're kinda the closest sibling pair in the stark family because they look the most like their dad and are often the ones most at odd with catelyn, their mom (but not his mom biologically. his dad, at the end of a war, just brought back a baby and was like "this is my son" and she hasn't been able to love jon ONCE). you kinda get the feeling that she's the only one who never judged him for being a bastard while still understanding what it means. they're relationships is just cute. you also get really banger character moments that i still think about, like him getting drunk at the fantasy version of the thanksgiving kids table and then yelling and crying at his uncle that he's "never going to father a bastard". or when he threatened to kill some dude in his sleep with his giant pet wolf for being mean to the new guy, sam. i'll admit his chapters are a bit boring in the sense that it's not a lot of stuff that happens plotwise for like the first 40%ish, but i got excited every time it was his turn to get a pov bc it's mostly him with his bros in the nights watch, being a weird snarky emo boy and i- i love him sm.

i debated heavily on wether it should be robb or catelyn stark. they're pretty conjoined in my mind though, so i just put them both in a giant paragraph. but i'm gonna start with cat because she's one of the most complex characters in the books to me. cat is kinda in her flop era for like the first ten percent of the first book. she's horrifically abusive to jon snow, the bastard son of her husband, because she views him both as a threat to *her* children and as a reminder of her relationships pitfalls with her husband. her motherhood and her grief are central to her as character themes, as well as her preoccupation with duty and honor. i'm now going to take this time to talk about my son, robb stark and the genetic eldest daughter syndrome they both have. cat grew up as lady of her house, her mother dying and leaving her to take up a maternal role in her household. she got betrothed to her husbands brother when she was twelve and never complained because she was trying to do what she thought she was supposed to do. "i always did my duty". something similar happens to her son when his father, cats husband, leaves with his two daughters to be an advisor to the king at the time. i think it's mentioned that, despite being the heir to winterfell, his family's giant castle, no one had ever seriously taught him about ruling a place like that?? which. okay. he's already thrust into taking up a paternal role to take care of his remaining siblings. he loses his mother for a time. when bran is in a coma, she shuts everyone out, focusing on taking care of her son. in doing so, she neglects to care for her two other children, robb and baby rickon. this leaves robb alone, now without his mother to guide him (he's also like 15 at this point) he's now ruling winterfell and acting as a father to his youngest sibling. she actually does leave when someone tries to kill bran with a dagger- seeking justice out for her son. the goes on a little journey (which is like most of her journey in the books but i'm glossing over it because it was kinda boring rip), and when she comes back she takes incredible psychic damage from seeing her son having grown up so fast. and i'm like, babes you're responsible for this. she always is so taken aback by how old he's starting to look. he grows a weird teen boy beard and she takes psychic damage. she's basically his biggest political advisor in his campaign as king in the north. maybe my thoughts aren't that complicated on that, but they both adhere so strictly to a code of honor and duty- it makes me mentally ill. and to know that it gets robb killed!!! they change this up in the show, and it isn't until the third book but knowing that robb betrayed his political alliance bc he made a mistake by sleeping with a girl and then marrying her the next morning bc it was the right thing to do and sticking by her?? the parallels with him and his dad... i feel like evaporated milk.

howland reed. i can't really explain this one so much. never actually shows up in the books but has inexplicably strong dilf energy. one of like three good dads in the entire series. absolute unit on the basketball court. more fun in my head than cannon. if hbo ever does a roberts rebellion prequel i will have my ass parked in front of that tv screen so fast you won't even believe

and now i ask who your favorite three star trek characters are. thank for trying to teach me how to do the things on the tumblr :)

#asoiaf #this ended up being so long #i apologize

7 notes · View notes

casspurrjoybell-26 · 9 months

Text

The Contract - Chapter 10

*Warning Adult Content*

"This is you," Donovan announces when the car stops.

I look out the window and see it's my new apartment building, so I grab my bag filled with gym stuff I got for free from the staff at Donovan's gym.

"Thanks for the ride," I rub my neck. "And uh, for the clothes."

Donovan doesn't say anything but types away on his phone, not bothering to look up at me as I open the passenger side and get out.

Before I close the door, Donovan captures me in his eyes as he looks at me and puts his phone down.

"I'll be away next week on business, so feel free to text if you ever miss me."

I scoff out loud at his arrogance, surprising the driver as he jumps in his seat because I slammed the door shut with force, swearing incoherent words under my breath as I walk towards the building.

Fucking bastard, saying that shit to me, who does he think he is?

After what he just did to me at the gym.

I turn around and see a glimpse of his hooded face in the dark car as the driver pulls out from the curb and drives off down the road.

I storm into the building, trying to not think about the asshole that just treated me like a freaking princess and focus on getting to my apartment so I can have a nice hot shower and wash away everything embarrassing that just happened today.

A full week of not seeing him...

It's been three days since I met him and since then, it feels like I've known him for years, despite knowing nothing about him.

There were things I picked up though, like how controlling he is, how addicted he is to his phone and how he loved seeing people squirm under his stare but there are other things like when he smiles, he has a dimple in his cheek, even though it's rare when he does smile, it's like this whole air around him shifts.

He's not as intimidating when he smiles, and laughs, it's interesting to see I guess.

My phone buzzes in my pocket as I unlock my door and shut it behind me.

Turning my phone on, I see it's a text from the man himself.

ᴅᴏɴᴏᴠᴀɴ: Audition tomorrow, 9:20 AM at HQ.

I snort out and text back once I drop my bag near the door.

Me: What happened to Natalie? I thought she was my agent, not you.

He texts back a minute later and I roll my eyes at how smug he is.

ᴅᴏɴᴏᴠᴀɴ: I'm the boss. I do what I want.

I laugh and then put my phone back in my pocket.

Yeah, no shit sherlock, it seems like he does whatever he wants and everyone knows it, it's not like it's not noticeable with the way he carries himself like he owns the world and we all worship him for it.

I scoff, I'm not some bimbo desperate for his attention, there will be no worshiping him, ever.

What we have together is purely physical and I can end it whenever I want, I wonder how many people would kill for the opportunity to be with Donovan Steele.

Things like that make ME feel powerful, like everyone worships me, and not him.

I strip off my clothes and head straight for the shower, counting down the seconds until that hot water hits my body, only then can I finally relax and block out everything.

Six days later.

I'm so fucking tired, my legs are aching and my arms feel beaten.

"Evan you did a well today, good job., my trainer Rob says, slapping me on the back. "Same time next weekend?"

I shake my head and pick up my gym bag.

"Sorry, I can't," I say, sighing. "I'll be on set, filming for the TV show I got a part in." I tell him.

He whistles out impressed.

"Congratulations mate," he says, bringing me in for a bro hug. "Look at you getting all famous and shit, almost makes me want to cry."

He fake wipes a tear.

I shove him off me.

"It's no big deal," I say, despite how excited I actually was. "I'll text you when I'm free for a workout, Mike."

Mike nods his head as I head outside of the gym and let the bright rays from the sun hit my sweaty face, as a shit-eating grin falls on my face.

I got the fucking part.

I still can't believe any of it, that they loved me and gave the part to me then and there, without a second audition.

What's better is that it's a show that everyone is obsessing over, a high school drama filled with murder and mystery and what's so good about it is that I got a leading role as the main man in the show.

I instantly liked my role, the 'bad boy' with a dark past that protects the leading high school girl from another obsessed guy but what makes this more exciting is the fact that the female lead is someone I knew.

Not only me but everyone knows who she is, she's a high-paid actress in the acting world, making this my opportunity to impress and hopefully, get more roles after the show's first episode is aired.

From what I've heard, Amanda Carsly is America's angel and has a thing for guys like me, so if all goes well, I can use that to my advantage and form connections.

It's all coming together, next week we start filming and I can barely contain how pumped up I am for it to start.

My phone rings in my pocket and I pick it up and answer it as I cross the road, not looking at the caller id.

"This is Evan," I say, jogging across the road, watching out for cars.

"Hi Evan hunnnn, it's your mommy."

I stop walking and freeze.

"I missed you, my sweet baby boy," she says, sounding completely out of it drunk.

"Mom, have you been day drinking?" I question, hissing out as her voice was clearly slurring.

"Hmmm, a little," she laughs like I said something funny as I hear people talk in the background.

I grip the bridge of my nose and sigh.

"Fucking hell..."

"I need money, Evan. Be a good boy and help me out, hmm?" she slurs her words. "You're the only one I have, baby."

I feel my blood boil and I clench my eyes closed tightly and steady my breathing at how annoyed I am right now.

"Mom, I don't have money right now,.I can't keep..."

"YOU'VE ALWAYS BEEN LIKE THIS," she screams down the phone. "Just like your bastard of a father, not giving a shit about me, selfish sons of bitches," she snapped out, slurring her words.

I hate when she's like this and if I knew it was her, I'd have never picked up the call in the first place, knowing that the only times she calls me is for a handout.

I clench my jaw and avoid the looks of people passing me on the street, some with curious stares and some from a group of young girls checking me out and giggling as they pass me.

"Tell me where you are."

1 note · View note