lol i wanna relaspe so so bad my room and the whole house is infested with ear wigs and they are rverywhere i even killed one trying to get in my ear but they are on my pillows and they like spawn randomly and mh parents r making me clean my room and open my closet tmrw idk how im gonna do it i can barley open my closet its full of trash and under my bed and the carpet is gross bc of ghe bugs and i just feel so gross so there is no need to take a shower then get ditry and cry bc im not clean anymore my room is so gross and i smell so bad and im ignoring all my friends and im eating one popcicle and pizza everyday and ive been going to sleep at 4am and waking up at 2pm and its so hard to sleep bc of the bugs i dont think ive ever felt more exhasuted i hate bugs so much ane my room is so gross and its my fault and i havnt tsken a shower in weeks and i dont have anything sharp to relapse with except the potchika chainsaw figure lol im not ruining it but i keep having horrible nightmares where i do but really deep and the ear wig babies went inside my arms and legs and i dont rememevr the rest but i just hope i can actuslly clean my room in the afternoon and i hope i sleep well and i hope thst one person miguel from rate my avatar has a good day today bc shes so funny ane she is cultured and i hope she has a dutch accent anyways yes diarrhea

my love

i feel so sad that im starting to feel physically sick i wanna throw up im an awful personf i need to break up w my bf asap im sad i dont love him but i dont even like him as a person we r complete oppisites n i csnt stand it my stomach feels so gross i rlly need to throw upg but anways i love my dress up darling sm i just got csughr up w the manga n idek what to say broh

aot outro n intro go too hardf

update i did and finshed all the episodes sadly but it was good as hell

i wanna download mobw soso bad

also also i use any pronounsf

why do i kin roxanne wolf

uh

#narccasticlesbiancore

💪💪💀💀

https://open.spotify.com/track/4JGgA7QgA2Es9Oshsph0c8?si=tfBUNJnGQmqGPSdf6ioPBg

i cant sleep and ive been listening to this on repeat, i cant stop thinking about how long the day will be tomorrow and i dont want to have to fake my relashonship again, im so tired of this and its just like a game where the days go by in slow motion and are always exhausting, but when its night at home, the time goes by soso fast and my brain cant calm down when im trying to sleep. this song is way too good n in someway accurate to what im feeling

i found this like a year ago but i still really like it n i wish it was me n some cute girl

also heres a good ass playlist

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/1AWnf6Q1dL7DMil5SlIeXy?si=myhPP-4NQjKkDWRQX-3IRA

--annoying vent abt a relashonship lmfao

i dont know why but i feel so weird with my bf, he's a good person and is very very cool, also im not a boring fucking straight person im so gay, my boyfriend is gender neutral but anyways, i met him because of my ex. not really though, basically they dated while I was "dating" my ex and i hate hate hate the kind of person my ex is, and sadly my bf reminds me of them so much, its sad. but also not, for some reasom i feel like ive been eventually feeling like some sort of hate tworads everyone i love, although, i never loved my boyfriend and sadly i dont. i cant controll the way i feel and i know i should talk to him about it but sadly hes the kind of person who will ignore me if i talked to him about it after. i hate that, and i still wanna be friends i wish i could go back two months when he asked if i wanted to date, i wish i said "im not sure if im ready to date someone at the moment, i care about you but i have a problem at the moment with myself, and i need to not hate myself to be in a relashonship, it hurts too much, i over think too many things snd i need to heal, i still want to talk to you everyday and i want things to be the same. i just dont want to be super close yet, i feel like we moved too fast, and i didnt realize i needed to wait a second, on my part, i aploigize i didnt tell you sooner." /but he loves me. and there is something wrong with them that i know if i say that then things will be weird, worse than before. i feel like im so annoying to him snd i ask for reassurance alot, not that thats annoying, its just he gives little reassuarance, and it worries me more than it should and it makes me upset which shouldnt. i need to be by myself for awhile and not find the reason to getting up everyday for someone else. and plus he genuenly gets on my fucking nerves alot. and not alot of people get on my nerves, unless intenionlly. we are just very different snd for some reason he feels so mych younger, his mindset. i dont like it it makes me uncomfy but obvi id never say this i just need to get out what im thinking, the teason why i redownloaded tumblr after 2 years hah

Takato Yamamoto

faerie

Artist: maigo tsuushin

Midnight Snack

sleep well lmfao

heres what i do all day in genshin 😘😘

HUGE TW GO AWAY IF U DONT WANNA HEAR SU.C!D3 THOUGHTS

-also this isnt a call for help i just dont like the way notes look i hate yellow tunblr is pretty so plesse ignore this if it bothers you

--- boring boring everythinf is so boring i wanna do things ive never done before, it doesnt matter what it is anything i havnt done i want to do but at the same time i csnt bring myself to do anything i text no one all day and i wanna dissapear soso bad i really wish i could just do shrooms and not worry about anyrhinf and do all the things ive never done. i have been siting around smoking weed all day and sleeping snd playing genshin and playing survival horror and fucking sister location for so long. when i wake up i wanna smash my head in the floor and sink into the ground i wanna feel my body floating but i also want to see the bright colors inside of me, i want to be able to do these things while not dying just yet, stab my stomach and grab all my organs and ts:td them. why do i want to do this. i want to do things that arent humanly possible everyday. i take my meds and feel like they are making me worse becuase im taking them ome day then not for a couple weeks and so on, my body is confused and everyday i want to relapse so bad but i dont, because i hate when people accidently see my sh and i get this chill down my whole body at the same time a heat flash, i cant stop wondering what they are thinking, do they feel bad for me? are they blaming themselves? do they think im weak? do they now feel upset because they think i am or was? because at this point, the past year, im doing it for fun. for example, i have no reason to be sad or upset or wanting to die so fucking bad, and i just get all these thoughts rushing through my head screaming pulling yanking all my body to take action and listen to them and i havnt in awhile, ive been fighting it way too hard, when i get too overwhelmed when that happens i bang my head on the floor and grab my face and pull my skin down imagining my nails are pulling it off but alas no it leaves marks but not nearly close to what my thoughts are seeing. i feel sick all the time i never feel at peace with myself. i have all a's right now and i have no idea how. i thought if my grades were better id feel better even a bit but no, tryinf to fight it is too hard, i wanna die in every way. every way. i deserve it i really do, but i cant think about why becuase then my head will hurt way too much and ill throw up. im a bad person, i really am. i seem like such a sweet n loving person, but the truth is i have a big attachment issue while staying distsnt at the same time, i think about that thing way too much and imagine all these things happening that never will, its not day dreaming its discusting, i dont mesn sexual i mean like every gross thing my childhood was ruined with. everything i fucking love turns into me obbessing over it and when i obbsess over something my old obbsesion tries to imterfere. none of this makes sense im just like half asleep writing bs but anyway ive gotten back into my fnaf phase i was in after i got out of my time i lived with my dad, 7 years ago. my trauma had nothing to do with him, actuslly i take that back bigtime. anyway i had internet access way too young and sadly came across the wrong side, and sadly its part of who i wm now, becuase of what i decided to watch all the time staying up at night wtaching live g*re and then going to school like nothinf happened. i was fucking seven years old. why did that have to happen. i wish i never was able to touch a computer and social media. all the things i love are ruined. i ruined them. what messes up my mind? yeah okay a fucking mental disorder but what caused it? everyone around me feel so fake and i feel like ive been living in a video game for seven years. i wonder if my best friend thinls im a discusting person. they arent a perfect person, no one is but they have a pure bliss personality, no bad thoughts about hurting others and wanting to do unhuman things. i want to destroy my brain, none of the information i have in my mind is useful. i dont think ill live past 18, i thought that when i was eighr years old. if theres one thing im certiam of its there truly is no point in life. goodnight i hope you all sl

love love

super sonico but cooler