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silovsmenot · 11 hours

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Bloody Nose | Matt Rempe (Part Two)

FIND PART ONE HERE SUMMARY: A few months later, the medic has gotten to know the young fighter well — a line brawl and early exit to a game gives Matt the perfect excuse to ask her out for a coffee. WARNINGS: Mentions of blood & bruises. PAIRING: Matt Rempe x f! reader. NOTES: All I'm say is ✨boss lady✨ I dont currently have an idea for p3, but let me know if you want more! WORD COUNT: 2424

The months rolled on, and you’d seen more of a split of your time between university and your volunteer role with the New York Rangers. You attended practise and all the games, ready with hair tied back and the blue medical gloves on.

You were getting the perfect experience, this role was going to be golden for your studies and you’d already been offered the same role, but paid, next year if you wanted it — of course, you did. It would fit perfectly around your studies, and you were beginning to enjoy yourself. You were becoming more familiar with the guys, who in turn were more honest with their injuries.

And you had one particular patient who visited you with bruises, bloody noses and cuts more often than the others. Over the weeks, you’d grown to know Matt fairly well. His teases and mannerisms were almost second nature by this point. He’d stroll into the medical room with a ‘sore wrist’ and you’d wrap it, or he’d bumped his broken nose and it was bleeding again. Matt had even developed the ‘about to fight’ signal, just for ‘The Boss Lady’.

If you didn’t know any better, you’d have become slightly suspicious of his frequent visits to you. You brushed them aside for carelessness on his part, or simply the love of the fight. Not as an excuse to flirt with you, nor did you particularly notice his flirting for anything more than a playful nature.

He was easy on the eyes though, and you had a good laugh with him — you’d never turn him away.

It was April 3rd, you were standing in the cold of Madison Square Garden waiting for the puck to drop, just like everyone else in the arena. You almost missed his signal, your eyes caught by the referee as his hand rose, puck ready. Gaze flicking across, you watched Matt’s head turn to you — his dark eyes giving you the wink as you watched the mischievous smile simply engulf his features.

Matt was about to fight … But you weren’t ready for the chaos that would follow. You simply blinked and gloves were thrown everywhere. Players grabbing players as punches were thrown without mercy. The crowd was deafening as five pairs fought — you winced with every punch.

“You want all five?” The head medic laughed across to you, nudging your arm as you watched in complete shock. You were new to hockey, as far as fan standards went, but this was nothing you’d ever seen before. Nor had you heard that level of noise from the crowd.

But you couldn’t help but smile as the crowd began to chant his name, a little excitement that you’d refuse to admit to him, naturally. And watching as he skated to the gate, hands beckoning to crowds and calling for the cheers — he was loving this, and so were the crowd.

You couldn’t see any blood, but you gripped the towel instinctively. Ready for the referees to send over any injured players, but that wasn’t how this was unfolding. You were left in confusion as players began to leave the penalty box, from both teams. Not injured, but to the changing rooms.

And the crowd went wild as Matt left the box, his hand once again raised as he beckoned on the cheers from the crowd. The little shit, you thought but you could not stop grinning at all of this. Four Rangers players left the ice, the head medic giving you the nudge to follow.

“Go and check them.”

You simply nodded, breaking into a slow jog down the team tunnel toward the changing rooms. The first you heard was the laughing and whooping from the four guys, all of them clearly proud of themselves. Inside the changing room, K’Andre, Trouba, Goodrow and Rempe were looking pretty smug as you entered with brow raised.

But their cheers fell silent at the first sight of you — smug turning slightly sheepish, as though they were expecting a scolding from you. None would come. You couldn’t stop the smile that began to spread upon your features, head shaking as they too found their smiles.

“Are you all alright?” You spoke through the silence, each guy nodding almost as quickly as you spoke — except Rempe. The other three watched him, almost expecting this. Like they knew he’d play up on some ‘injury’, an excuse to get you alone again. And they were all completely unsurprised when he finally spoke out.

“That guy got my jaw good, have a look, boss?” Rempe muttered with a reddened hand, which would definitely be bruised in the morning, pointed at the left side of his jaw. As he spoke, grin lingering, you could see some blood in his mouth so he wasn’t completely lying. But the other guys exchanged a look, a few eyes rolling.

Stepping aside, you pointed the giant down the corridor to the familiar medical room. He knew the way well by now, walking with the smug swagger. He’d push open the door with ease, holding open for you to enter before jumping upon the medical bed with a thud. He was a little child, proud of himself for winning the playground fight — and you were struggling to not find that intoxicating.

“So, boss, did you like that fight?” Matt quickly spoke with his familiar forward lean, eyes lightly narrowed in amusement. You stood, as you always did, just before him with your arms naturally crossed upon your chest.

“Did you win? I don’t think you won.”

It was always the same answer with him. It started on your first day, and still would not admit that you liked his fight… even if it did make your heart race and your stomach twist. It was a strange blend of not wanting to see him hurt, but also enjoying the thrill of watching him fight.

And he loved it every time you wouldn’t admit that you liked the fight. He’d get you to admit it one day, but he was getting so used to the fans telling him how they loved his fights — you were making him work for it. And that drove him crazy.

“It was a draw, that’s close.” Matt would protest, leaning that little bit closer so you could feel his hot breath on your skin once again. You felt how your skin burned beneath his breath, silently begging for him to get even closer. “When will you admit that you like my fights, boss?”

“On the day you win.”

“I have won fights; you just weren’t there.”

“Tough shit, win a fight.”

“Come for a coffee with me, and I’ll win a fight for you.”

You fell silent for a moment. The quick quips were how you both always were, not wasting a breath between retorts to the other. Teases at the other’s expense… but this was different. It had been months now, since that first game, and he’d shown no signs of interest that you saw. Though he thought you were blind to the signs.

“Is that a yes?” He whispered, head tilting and grin growing with each passing moment of your rare silence. Matt had caught you off guard, and he knew it.

“I don’t date clients.” You spluttered, turning your back to him abruptly with hands collecting the familiar cup of water. His hand was already extending to accept it from you.

“I’m not a client, and don’t try to get out of this. Come for a coffee, and if you hate it, I won’t ask if you like my fights again.”

Your eyes narrowed as you turned back to him, cup of water in his hand as he took the large sip and swilled. The grin immediately back to his lips after the spit of crimson-tinted water.

“Fine.” You sighed; hands raised in defeat but inside? You felt the fluttering in your stomach, the skips of heartbeat. Kicked out of the game, you left Matt with the others in the changing room before returning to the bench. The excitement wouldn’t end there, with a whole litany of fights and almost injuries throughout the first period.

Needless to say, you slept well that night.

You weren’t sure what to expect when the agreed date came around. To be honest, you thought he’d back out or forget — but when you awoke to a text from him that morning, you knew the coffee date was still on.

You watched the clock tick down through your lecture, knowing that when you emerged, Matt would be waiting outside. You didn’t tell your friends, especially the ones who knew about the team. You weren’t sure why; you didn’t expect this to go anywhere but telling them that you were going on a date with Matt Rempe? You’d never escape the questions.

The clock turned 1pm and the bustle of books and laptops began, bodies rushing out of the lecture theatre with speed. Walking beside your friends, your eyes were immediately drawn by the waiting giant beyond the doors. You laughed quietly as you watched the small congregation get their photos and signatures from him — he’d grown quite the fanbase with his antics. But over them all, he simply stared at you.

He’d never seen you not in your team uniform, and he was enamoured with this side of you immediately.

“That’s Matt Rempe.” Your closest friend whispered as she yanked on your arm, shaking you from the trance that you found within his gaze. For a brief moment, you played dumb — pretending you couldn’t see him, your friend dragging you toward him with heavy steps.

“You ready to go?” Matt called out as you neared him, which only served to make your friend’s draw drop. She looked for a moment at Matt, then to you, then to Matt. She was in shock, and both you and Matt laughed at that.

Untangling your arm from your friend, you took the few steps toward the Ranger with your head nodding. He offered you his arm in replacement for your friends and, with your eyebrow raised in amusement and disbelief, you took it.

Matt didn’t tell you where you were going, he simply asked about your morning as he led you through the busy streets with a clear destination in mind. And it wasn’t long before he was opening the door for you to a little café, with walls lined with books.

To say you were surprised would have been an understatement. You thought you knew Matt well enough by now, but from how the barista welcomed the Ranger upon entry, you got the feeling that this was somewhere came often — to read?

“You like books?” You puzzled, frozen in place as you scanned the shelves. His hands upon your shoulders, he weaved your body through the café to a seat in a little nook — quiet and undisturbed by the other café visitors.

“I like books.” He whispered, elbows upon the table as he leaned forward. There was that smile again, smug that he’d kept this secret from you, and you were visibly surprised by it. And smug that you seemed to like that about him. “Did you think I was a dumb brute?”

You laughed at that. Maybe you did, without even realising it. You’d judged him, and you’d been wrong — you were glad that you were wrong.

He didn’t wait for a response for he already had his answer in your laughter. But he rose from the seat, disappearing for a few minutes before he’d return with two coffees in hand.

“What are you reading at the moment then?”

Hands wrapped around the warmth of the coffee cup as you watched him, holding it close to your chest. Matt slid back into the seat, taking a moment to get comfortable before his chocolate gaze was stuck upon you once more. And there, his gaze would stay.

“At the moment? Nineteen Eighty-Four.” He waited for you to say that you didn’t believe him, ready to get the barista to confirm his story. But you did believe him — you were surprised, but he never struck you as a liar.

“That’s a pretty deep book, are you enjoying it?”

And he’d nod, taking the first sip of his coffee with eyes watching you over the mug. It was so easy to get lost in those eyes.

Minutes turned into hours, and you both showed no signs of tiring of the other. You talked books, movies, friends — everything that came to mind and more. Three cups of coffee later, and you were getting hungry. But far from tired of his company.

“I should probably get going. I need to grab dinner on the way home.” You finally said, a sadness to your words that he immediately picked up on. You didn’t want to leave, whether you’d admit it or not… And nor did he.

“I don’t have any dinner plans.” Matt probed; his brow raised in suggestion. “Pizza?”

Your lips parted to find a protest, an excuse not to — but you stopped yourself. You’d enjoyed yourself, so why end it there?

“Pizza.”

His grin grew even further than you’d seen as you agreed. The proud nodding of his head as he rose with a hand immediately offered out to you, which you swiftly took to stand. The barista gave a small wave as you both left that little coffee shop, Matt thanking him and whispering something to the guy that you didn’t hear. You wouldn’t ask what, not yet at least.

Emerging onto the street, the sun setting on the horizon, Matt’s arm was offered out to you as before — this time, however, you refused it. Your hand rising to ignore the arm, but to tangle fingers together. Matt would not protest, he simply found himself staring at the intertwining of your hands. The size difference in your hands was quite large, but they fit together well.

It was the cue he sought, and he wouldn’t pass it up. His free hand rising to gently touch upon your jaw, he tilted your face back that little bit to allow his lips to find yours. You accepted every movement and melted against his lips. Lips lingered together for a few moments; his touch so soft against your skin. And as lips parted, he remained close with the usual cheeky grin replaced with a contented smile, small and genuine. You made him feel peaceful, and he liked that.

“I hope you’re ready for my next fight, because you’re going to love it.”

#matt rempe #matt rempe x reader #nhl blurb #hockey imagine #nhl imagine #nhl x reader #feral for this guy #matt rempe x y/n #silovsmenot writes

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kiefbowl · 18 hours

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i made a string of really dumb financial decisions and now im in debt that might take me years to pay off, do you have any words of wisdom for me queen. like that feels bad. how do i even save up. imagine flushing a pile of money down the toilet thats what this debt it

I know how that feels, believe me. A lot of people do. I'm feeling the pain of my 9 month school loans, and credit cards I had already paid off back "on" again (one in particular is pretty high...whooooops).

Don't lose your cool, I have a couple of flexible suggestions that you take, use, and modify to your specifics:

Tithe yourself - if your job does direct deposit (which most do!), you can direct deposit your money into multiple accounts. Get it set up so your paycheck goes 90% into your checking account, 10% into your savings account so that you're not even thinking about it. You might feel the squeeze for a little bit but you'll acclimate to that "missing" 10% sooner than you think.

Ask for a raise - if you're working, ask for a raise. If you're new, or maybe not that "great", or they're penny-pinchers, or you're just nervous to ask, don't even worry about it. Ask for 3% - this is low, and most jobs will give it to you just for the convenience of getting you to stop bothering them about it (if they can't afford 3%, run run run). For context, if you make $10 an hour, a 3% raise only gives you $12.00 more each week. It's really not much, but not nothing! If you're NOT worried about asking a raise, go all in! Ask for 10%, maybe even 15%. Flex some negotiation skills. Maybe you'll walkaway with 7%, but every penny counts.

Get yourself on auto payments [at the smallest amounts you can] - if you've got credit cards, log in right now and get yourself on auto payments for the smallest amount. If you've got student loans, do the same thing. If you've got utility bills, get them on auto pay. These things take 3 minutes to set up, and there are phone numbers to call if you can't figure it out. These companies WANT you to do this, they will help you get it done.

Work off the smallest amount you owe first [aggressively] - Let's say you have a $60 parking ticket, a credit card you owe $400 on, and three student loans that are currently at $6,000 & $7,000 & $10,000. Forget the student loans right now, you've got them on autopay for the smallest amount you can get away with. First, pay off that $60 parking ticket with your next pay check before it becomes a $200 ticket and a court appearance. Now you can focus on the paying off the $400 aggressively. Your minimum payments will still go off, but every time you get a paycheck, long on and pay an additional amount to the credit card (something you can manage and will also feel good to your brain - $50 feels good when you're thinking of your debit in hundreds for example). Once you've got that paid off, now you can aggressively pay off your $6,000. Don't worry about the other two. Just focus on the smallest amount you owe. Each paycheck, payoff a chunk of your smallest debt. It'll get exciting after awhile, like yes I get paid I can make that credit card even smaller. Gamify it, whatever.

Stop worrying about how long it will all take - Only worry about the smallest amount of debt you owe and how (reasonably) fast you can get that paid off. That $400 credit card, if you can spare $100 each pay check - that's only 4 paychecks. That's not too long, right? That's the way to think of time and debt: how much can you spare each paycheck to pay off your lowest debt.

Ask for help - do not punish yourself by lying to your parents and friends. Tell your friends you can't do fancy dinners because you are paying off debt and can't afford it. Real friends will bring over a pizza to hang with you. Your parents might be willing to send you a check without you asking for it. Don't feel guilty about monetary gifts, just take it. Go to a bank and talk about their consolidation options. Bring a third party so you aren't dazzled by sales pitches. Consolidation loans aren't objectively good or bad, they can be a life saver if they have the right terms that work for you. Don't think it's over your head! Ask as many questions until you understand all your options.

Buy smart, stop suffering - this really should be like 4 different bullet points, but I'm going to be as concise as possible: you'll never get out of debt if you spend your money without purpose, and you'll never get out under the yoke of anxiety that you fucked up if you just squirrel your money away in fear. A lot of people will give you advice that you need to put yourself on a tight, punishing budget. Maybe, but I think those are doomed to fail for most people. And now you feel twice as bad. Don't do that to yourself. Learning the value of $10 is important. So it learning the value of $100, or $1,000. And the best way to learn is to practice buying and using your money - there's a cheap $1,000 and an expensive $10, and you have to learn how much value you are getting out of these amounts for these purchases. If you punish yourself all week, and then allow yourself a "little treat" on Sunday - that doesn't feel worthwhile to me. Those little treats will grow every day. Soon you're stopping at Starbucks every day for "just $10" and your Sunday treat has become a weekly blow out brunch with friends and then week to week you're scrounging to eat Top Ramen and lamenting your dreams are dying. Instead, save money by spending money on things worthwhile that make you budget for them. Go sign up for those yoga classes you want, go sign up for those guitar lessons you want, go sign up for those art lessons you want, whatever it is. Whatever brings value to your life. Your $70 a week yoga membership can now be valued against your $70 week at Starbucks, and as your pockets pinch one hopes you'll choose the yoga over the Starbucks because one hopes that the yoga is serving you better. Or maybe yoga is ass and you want to spend it on Starbucks, at least now you know. Though I recommend your local coffee shop, as Starbucks is a union busting piece of shit corporation :)

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batmanisagatewaydrug · 18 hours

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reading roundup: May 2024

you guyssssss you guys you guys you guys I've been reading so much this month :)

sometimes my brain gets the itch to just DEVOUR books and it's really been on me, probably thanks to the burst of energy + free time that comes with the semester ending and summer getting started! the days are longer, the last of my season depression has been kicked to the curb, and I can spend hours reading on the porch every evening. the ideal!

right now, as the month ends, I'm feeling a particular hankering towards nonfiction and juicy new summer novels; I reblogged a Lit Hub roundup of new books the other day that got my brain buzzinggggg with excitement for the coming months. we'll see if that ends up manifesting in the June roundup, but for now, here's what kept me busy in May:

Paris Daillencourt is About to Crumble (Alexis Hall, 2022) - this month I read two romance novels picked by my beautiful patreonites; I did a compare/contrast between the two over on Patreon and I'll leave the majority of my thoughts there, but suffice to say that I am not a fan of Paris. definitely the weakest of the three Alexis Hall novels, and a real disappointment since I found the other two delightful. the story is straightforward enough and has some potential for sure, but Paris as a protagonist is a sodden mess who I found just insufferable. thumbs down from me, gang.

Chef's Kiss (TJ Alexander, 2022) - hi, it's the other romance novel. this one is a lot goofier than Paris Daillencourt, which is fitting since it's BA Test Kitchen rpf starring a bisexual Claire Saffitz and a nonbinary Brad Leone. it's frustrating because the story is definitely stronger than the one in Paris but the romance is piteously undercooked, although I was at least fine with the protag and her love interest getting together - they were boring but unobjectionable, unlike Paris and his love interest who I really thought would have been better off as friends. now that I'm thinking about it, you might get a perfect queer cooking show romance novel if you somehow mashed the two of them together. they're both, like, so close to working, but ultimately fall flat.

Delicious in Dungeon Vol. 4-6 (Ryoko Kui, 2018) - I don't even know what to say except that I'm still loving everything about Dungeon Meshi. the craft and thought that Kui puts into every facet of the world, from the big picture politics between fantasy races to the individual thoughts and feelings of each character, shows so much love for the world without ever being overbearing; it never feels like exposition is being hammered down my throat so much as little details are being tastefully arranged to be enjoyed at whatever speed and to whatever extent the reader likes. the world is getting bigger with each chapter and I'm looking forward to exploring more, especially now that Falin's hottie monster form and that good good catgirl have entered the chat.

Earthdivers Vol. 2: Ice Age (Stephen Graham Jones, Riccardo Burchielli, Patricio Depeche, Emily Schnall, Joana Lafuente, 2024) - once again I've done the worst thing that you can do as a comics fan, which is get invested in a series that's just starting out and is still releasing individual issues. the third trade paperback won't be out until December, so I guess I'm either going to have to go on hiatus with Earthdivers or start chasing down new releases on comic pirating sites, which feels shitty - that's how I read Batman comics that are the same age as me, not new stuff from authors I actually want to support! but Earthdivers might just be worth it. the second installment takes us to a wildly different setting than the first, Columbus-killing collection, dropping fearsome mother Tawny in a prehistoric North America. but while the setting changes, the series is still grappling with the question of what its protagonists are willing to sacrifice and who they're willing to become to change the past and save the world. we're starting to see bigger hints about how much history can be altered and catching some clues about the series' antagonist (???); I gotta know what happens next.

Prairie Fires: The American Dreams of Laura Ingalls Wilder (Caroline Fraser, 2017) - here it is, the book that got nonfic so powerfully on the brain! this is a riveting history whether you grew up on Little House on the Prairie or not (I didn't), tracking Laura Ingalls Wilder from an impoverished girl constantly imperiled by life on the prairie to a beloved icon of American propaganda. for me, personally, this hefty book really picks up when it gets to the endlessly complicated and frequently nasty relationship that Wilder had with her daughter when said daughter was grown; Rose Wilder Lane is a FASCINATING figure in her own right and I'm kind of obsessed with what a shithead grifter girlboss she was. fascinating stuff all around.

The Brides of High Hill (Nghi Vo, 2024) - Vo's series of Singing Hills novellas has always woven from one genre to another, exploring new types of stories just as our protagonist, the cleric Chih, explores new lands. this installation takes us straight into a gothic horror that pulls out all the stops: an isolated manor, an enigmatic madman roaming the grounds, the strangling snares of social conventions, and a blushing bride who isn't exactly what she seems. I read it in one sitting, it's delicious.

Superfreaks: Kink, Pleasure, and the Pursuit of Happiness (Arielle Greenberg, 2023) - a poppin' primer for anybody who wants to learn more about the world of kink and what the fuck is going on out there. at one point I did catch myself thinking that I was a little underwhelmed and that Greenberg wasn't really putting forth anything that radical, but then I realized that speaking extremely candidly about and validating interest in basically any kink or fetish imaginable, and yes I do mean straight up any of them, is actually A Lot for many people to handle. so, yeah, good book, check it out for a friendly and enthusiastic intro to the wide world of kink.

Sex Criminals Vol. 2: Two Worlds, One Cop (Matt Fraction and Chip Zdarsky, 2015) - the first volume of Sex Criminals left me feeling a little meh, but I decided to keep going because Matt Fraction's Hawkeye run was lifechanging and I know this series is pretty widely acclaimed, so I want to see where we're going with this. (plus it's free via the library, so what do I have to lose?) this volume really sold me on the series and particularly on Jon, who I was pretty lukewarm on initially. he really stole the spotlight in this one, and I like the way that the story is ratcheting up the stakes.

The Stone Sky (N.K. Jemisin, 2017) - GOOOOOOOOOD what a book! what a trilogy! in a series shaped by empires and natural disasters, the story ultimately ends with a quit confrontation of clashing ideologies, a young daughter determined to end the world and a mother equally determined that one of her children should live. and that shit hurts! I read the series a couple of times when I was younger but I was never before able to fully appreciate the work Jemisin does in crafting Essun and Nassun, showing us the way cruelty and fear have shaped both of them into the people they ultimately are and the choices they make. absolutely masterful, a legend.

From Here to Eternity: Traveling the World in Search of the Good Death (Caitlin Doughty, 2017) - this was another reread, and while N.K. Jemisin was blowing my mind, Caitlin Doughty was giving me a warm hug. I don't know what to tell you, reading about the ways that people all over the world care for their dead and take comfort in their memories makes me feel all warm and fuzzy. death can be really beautiful and comforting, if you're not a coward.

The Big Reveal: An Illustrated Manifesto of Drag (Sasha Velour, 2023) - listen, I'm not really a Drag Race girlie. I first heard about this book when Velour was a guest on Nicole Byers' podcast, and while I was very charmed by her I was not expecting to be blown away by her book. it's just a little cash-in for a Ru girl, right? all she needs to do is slap together some cool pictures of her in drag and a few platitudes about being yourself and boom bang, that's a book. but readers, I owe Sasha Velour an apology: this book was so much cooler and smarter than it needed to be! Velour brings an impressive eye to forces of colonialism and capitalism that shape art and conceptions of queerness, and keeps this framework firmly in place while keeping the tone of the book bubbly and lighthearted. she also goes out of her way to spotlight a huge variety of drag performers and gender nonconforming figures throughout history, celebrating all the different means of expression that make up the tapestry of contemporary queerness. a great read, and one that I've already shelled out for. a friend and I are working on a documentary exploring the nuances of queer style, and I know I'm gonna want to pull heavily from Velour's thoughts and the history she's curated.

#bookblr

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angelcasendgame · 4 hours

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Anyways I'm thinking. Stanford era Dean. After Cassie and everything. Going to Ikea when he can. Just wandering around and looking at the different room displays set up, hands trailing across the different kitchen counters and the thick duvets. He thinks quietly to himself, about which paint colours feel inviting and comforting, the wardrobes and desks. He looks and thinks and wonders and deep, deep down and it's so incredibly small but he hopes. And an employee walks up to him just staring at one particular display and asks if they can help and he shakes his head and very, very quietly he says, "no just browsing" before putting on his signature Dean smile and turning away. And he eats at the food court and his eyes keep drifting over to the families and couples at check out, most of the smiling, excited about adding to their home. And he hurts all over and he goes back to baby and he loves her, he does but he could never assemble a bed in here the way he desperately wants to. He parks somewhere far away, shoves his arm under his head and tries desperately to fall asleep

#im feeling a lot of things rn can you tell #renu rambles

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tosomeonessomeone · 12 hours

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Duo

words・ 2.1k /pairings・ Bang Chan x reader / genres・ fluff / warnings・ none

A spacious meeting room crackled with anticipation in the heart of the JYP Entertainment building. Seated at the head of the table, JYP himself beamed with enthusiasm, introducing you, an internationally acclaimed visual artist, to the members of Stray Kids. "Everyone, I'm thrilled to have [your name] here with us. She's an incredible visual artist known for her unique aesthetic," JYP announced, gesturing towards you.

You expressed your excitement, "Thank you, JYP. I'm thrilled to collaborate with such a talented group." The members of Stray Kids turned their attention, curiosity, and excitement evident in their expressions. Standing beside JYP, Bang Chan welcomed you warmly, "Hey, [your name], glad to have you on board." You acknowledged with a smile, "Thank you, Bang Chan. I'm honored to be a part of this project."

JYP set the stage for the collaboration: "Now, I've brought [your name] on board to collaborate with all of you on the aesthetics for your upcoming album. Her vision will bring a new dimension to the visual storytelling of Stray Kids." Felix chimed in, expressing his anticipation: "That sounds awesome! I can't wait to see what we create together."

Han asked, "So, [your name], any hints about what you have in mind for us?" You shared your vision, "Well, I was thinking of exploring a fusion of vibrant colors and abstract elements to reflect the dynamic energy of your music." Seungmin approved, "That sounds intriguing. I'm all for it!"

JYP concluded, "Great! Let's make this collaboration one for the books. Now, let the creative discussions begin."

As the meeting wrapped up, the stage was set for a creative journey that would redefine not only Stray Kids' visual identity but also the connection forged between you and the members in the artistic tapestry of their new album.

As days went by, the collaboration unfolded between you, an acclaimed visual artist, and Stray Kids, creating a masterpiece in the making. The studio walls resonated with beats and melodies as their music production set the backdrop, guiding the strokes of your creative vision.

One night in particular, the studio was alive with the rhythmic pulse of Stray Kids' latest track, each beat resonating through the air. You were seated among the members, your eyes focused on the speakers while your mind translated the music and dance into vibrant images. Excitement filled the room as ideas flowed freely.

Lee Know nudged you. "What do you think of this beat? It's like nothing we've done before."

You smiled. "It's incredible. I can already see a visual story unfolding with this rhythm. Maybe we can play with contrasting colors to highlight the dynamic shifts."

Chanbin nodded. "That sounds cool. Let's experiment with that."

The collaborative energy was palpable as everyone contributed their thoughts, blending the worlds of music and visual art seamlessly. As the night progressed, members excused themselves, leaving you and Bang Chan engrossed in refining the visual concept.

Bang Chan leaned back. "It's amazing how your ideas add a new layer to our music. I feel like we're creating something special."

You expressed gratitude. "Likewise, your music is so inspiring; it's like a canvas waiting to be painted."

Hours slipped away, and it became apparent that the two of you shared a dedication that extended beyond the project. Others left the studio, leaving just you and Bang Chan surrounded by the quiet hum of creativity.

Bang Chan leaned against the mixing desk. "We've been working together so closely, and I just realized we're '97 liners. That's pretty cool, huh?"

Smirking, you replied, "It is. No wonder we click so well. It's like there's an unspoken understanding between us."

Bang Chan smiled. "Maybe it's the '97 connection. We should celebrate being part of the same year."

You both laughed and in that shared moment of realization, the connection between you two deepened. The conversation flowed effortlessly, not just about the project but about life, dreams, and the shared experiences of growing up in the same era.

As the months unfolded, your collaboration with Bang Chan evolved into a friendship beyond the studio walls. The dynamic energy of Stray Kids' music parallels the camaraderie blossoming between all of you.

One evening, after a productive day in the studio, the group decided to grab dinner together. The casual outing marked the beginning of a tradition; over time, it became a regular occurrence. The laughter and shared stories flowed effortlessly, creating a tapestry of memories that linked you to each member.

As the bond deepened, you and Bang Chan found yourselves spending more time together outside of work. The formalities of addressing each other by your professional titles gave way to the comfort of first names. Christopher became "Chris" in a moment of fondness; he bestowed upon you a playful nickname that echoed through the group.

Chris shot you a sly grin, "From now on, you're officially 'Peanut.' It suits you."

You burst into laughter, loving the vibe. "Alright, Chris, Peanut it is."

Chris, still grinning, leaned in, "Perfect! Now, you've got a nickname that fits."

You playfully rolled your eyes, "Fits, maybe. Legendary? Doubtful. So, do I get to give you a nickname in return?"

Chris leaned back, totally up for it, "Oh, you're up for the challenge? Bring it on, Peanut."

You thought momentarily, then smirked, "How about 'Captain Crunch'? Because you're the leader of this ship."

Chris erupted into laughter, "Captain Crunch, huh? Not bad, not bad at all. I can get behind that."

The nickname banter kept going, each name more ridiculous and hilarious. It became a symbol of the easy camaraderie that defined your friendship.

The banter continued as the night rolled on, and the group found themselves in fits of laughter. Stray Kids, a family on and off the stage, reveled in the shared moments that solidified their bond.

Seungmin teasingly chimed in, "Peanut and Captain Crunch are the duo we never knew we needed."

Felix nodded, "The legends of nicknames! You guys should start a business."

The vibe stayed playful, turning even the most mundane topics into sources of amusement. The inside jokes and shared laughter became the glue that held your tight-knit group together.

Later, as you all split, Chris pulled you aside.

Chris, still grinning, said, "Captain Crunch, it's been a great night. Let's do it again soon." You chuckled, "Count on it, Peanut. The nicknames will keep coming."

The shift in your relationship didn't go unnoticed. Stray Kids' members and fans began to pick up on the growing closeness. The term "power couple" started circulating among the fans, playfully acknowledging the unique chemistry within the group.

Seungmin teased, "(teasingly) Looks like Peanut and Chris are taking over the world." Felix grinned in response, "(grinning) The power couple vibes are real!"

The Stays, known for their keen observation skills, passionately shipped the friendship between you and Chris, filling social media with playful comments and fan art. This transformed your collaborative project into a shared narrative extending beyond the studio and stage.

Inside jokes and shared glances fueled speculation even during fan meetings and events. The bond between you and Chris became a topic of affectionate banter, firmly rooting the power couple narrative in the hearts of fans and within the close-knit circle of Stray Kids.

Lee Know chimed in, "(grinning) Hey, [Your Name], make sure you keep up with us. You're hanging out with the young and wild crowd now." You rolled your eyes with a smile, replying, "Young and wild? I can handle that."

Chanbin smirked, "Bang Chan is practically ancient compared to us. And now you're here too. Are we forming a seniors' club?" Chris laughed, "(laughing) Watch it, Chanbin. I may be a bit older, but I can still outdance you any day."

The banter continued, creating an atmosphere where age was merely a number, and the shared laughter became the universal language. You embraced the teasing with good humor, occasionally firing back with playful retorts.

Han grinned, "(grinning) [Your Name], I bet you were around when dinosaurs roamed the earth, right?"

You said, "Well, I did attend their farewell party."

Seungmin smirked, "(smirking) It's like having two older siblings. You and Chris are the wise elders guiding us through the chaos."

You chuckled, "Wise elders? I'll take that as a compliment."

Far from being a source of discomfort, the age jokes became a bonding ritual that reinforced the sense of family within Stray Kids. The members teasingly dubbed themselves the "young and reckless" crew while you and Chris took on the roles of the seasoned mentors.

Even the Stays, ever vigilant and participative, joined in on the fun, creating memes and fan art that playfully exaggerated the age difference. The fans affectionately dubbed you and Chris the "Eternal Youth Duo," embracing the humor and warmth that defined your connection with Stray Kids.

In the heart of Seoul, amidst the bustling city, your private art studio became a haven for creativity during the collaborative project with Stray Kids. With long days in the recording studio and nights spent perfecting the visual aesthetics, the studio transformed into a shared space for art, music, and genuine camaraderie.

Han, Chanbin, and Bang Chan, the Stray Kids' producing trio, often found solace in your art studio. The walls adorned with your vibrant creations provided a backdrop for their brainstorming sessions and moments of relaxation. Hyunjin, with his passion for the arts, joined the mix, creating a dynamic environment where creativity flowed freely.

Bang Chan, in particular, often lingered after the others had left. His supportive presence became a constant in the studio, where the echoes of music and art intertwined. As you painted, he would sit nearby, offering encouraging words and genuine admiration for your work.

Sitting on a stool nearby, Bang Chan observed your latest work in progress, his eyes tracing the delicate strokes, appreciating the intricacy of your art.

He remarked softly, "You know, every brushstroke tells a story. Your art has this unique way of capturing emotions."

You smiled in response, "Thanks, Chan. Sometimes it feels like I'm chasing perfection, and I get frustrated when it falls short."

Nodding understandingly, Bang Chan replied, "I get that. The struggle to create something that truly resonates can be overwhelming. But trust me, what you're doing is already extraordinary."

As the conversation shifted, you found comfort in the shared vulnerability. Bang Chan opened up about his challenges in the studio—finding the right beat and crafting lyrics that resonated. The exchange became a dance of mutual understanding, where the struggles of art and music were laid bare.

You gently remarked, "It's funny, you know? I see you as this incredible producer who effortlessly weaves music, yet you also face moments of doubt."

Smiling, Bang Chan replied, "The creative process is a journey, and every artist, no matter how experienced, has moments of uncertainty. It's what makes the final creation so special."

The intimacy of the conversation deepened, the vulnerability weaving a bond that transcended the boundaries of collaboration. As you both faced the challenges of your respective crafts, the studio became a sanctuary for shared struggles and triumphs.

Reassuringly, Bang Chan said, "We're in this together, [Your Name]. Your art inspires me, just like I hope our music inspires you."

You replied gratefully, "Likewise, Chan. Let's keep creating, even when it feels like we're stumbling in the dark. Maybe that's where the most beautiful things come to light."

The shared understanding lingered in the air, turning the art studio into a cocoon of creativity and companionship. In those intimate moments, the struggles transformed into stepping stones, paving the way for artistic excellence and a connection that resonated beyond the strokes of a brush or the beats of a song.

After weeks of intense work in the warm glow of your art studio, the air filled with the comforting scent of paint, Bang Chan sat, his expression clouded with frustration. Lyrics eluded him, and doubt cast shadows on his usually confident demeanor.

Noticing his struggle, you set aside your brushes and walked over to him, reassuringly touching his shoulder.

"Hey, Chan, it's okay," you said softly. "Everyone faces creative blocks. You're a brilliant producer, and this moment of uncertainty doesn't define you."

Bang Chan sighed, looking up at you with gratitude. "I appreciate the support, [Your Name]. Sometimes, it just feels like I'm not doing enough."

You smiled. "You've created incredible music, Chan. Remember the impact you've had on people's lives. You're not just a producer but an amazing human being."

Your sincerity sparked a warmth in Bang Chan's eyes. The term "power couple" that fans playfully threw around seemed to carry new weight, and he was struck by the realization of the connection you shared.

"You know, [Your Name], we make a pretty good team," he reflected.

Smirking, you replied, "They're not wrong about that."

#skz imagines #skz x reader #stray kids #stray kids imagines #skz scenarios #skz #skz fluff #stray kids scenarios #stray kids x reader #bang chan x reader #bang chan fluff #christopher bang #bang chan #bang chan stray kids #bang chan scenarios

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vitaminseetarot · 8 hours

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PAC Pick a Picture: Yes or No (or Maybe) 💚💙💜

Hey y'all, I'm back in time for the end of May with another pick a card reading. I thought that since it's been almost a year since my last yes or no reading, that now would be a good time to do my second one. Today, perhaps because of the last day of Mermay in part, I'm inspired by the colors green and blue (and some purple thrown in). I'll be using Mermaid Tarot for this reading. 🌎🧜‍♀️

Below, there are 12 images for you to choose from in a random color assortment, from left to right. Take a deep breath, pause, and relax all tension in your body before deciding what your question is. There are a lot of piles to choose from, so if you have a lot of questions, feel free to select them one at a time and read in any order you want.

Pile 1 - Hot Air Balloon Pile 2 - Peacock Tail Pile 3 - Plumbago Flowers (Light Blue) Pile 4 - Azurite Pile 5 - Grass Field Pile 6 - Lily Pad Pile 7 - Damselfly Pile 8 - Gentian Flowers (Dark Blue) Pile 9 - Blueberries Pile 10 - Blue Jay Pile 11 - Butterfly Pile 12- Mountain Bluebird

apologies for the misalignment in pics; this stock photo collage was initially for fun

Pile 1 - Hot Air Balloon

IX Hermit, 9 of Swords, 6 of Swords, XIII Death; 24 - Heal Thyself, 15. Adrift in Shallow Water

This pile is a No. You may be wanting to move forward with something, but the energy I'm picking up on is too closed inward and focused on the worst possible outcomes. You may need to detach from the situation if a decision is called for. Answers will more likely come to you when you are given the quietude and privacy needed to listen to your inner guidance system. It knows a lot more than it may let on, but you won't be able to hear it amidst the chaos.

"Take a few deep breaths and reconnect to your inner peace." This card is talking about using mindfulness to recenter the self. It is very difficult to make important decisions and move forward from a place of anxiety. Things are more likely to move in the direction you desire when you make plans from a calm and positive outlook. Once you're fully ready to move on, the tides will turn for you.

Pile 2 - Peacock Tail

4 of Pentacles, 4 of Cups, 6 of Cups, 7 of Pentacles; 13 - Awareness, 5. Change Direction With Ease

For you, this is a big Maybe. Your reading starts with two 4 cards which can indicate a state of stagnancy and lack of motion. With 6 of cups, you may be more focused on what's happened before than what could happen next. Remember that cycles don't always repeat themselves perfectly and giving something another go can reap potential success if you put in the proper dedication for it.

"You may be in for a surprise." 4 of Cups can talk about unforeseen surprises around the corner, so if you're able to keep your mind more ahead into the present and future rather than the past, you may be prepared to catch this surprise. This surprise could be the key to allowing things to flow through to a more desired resolution. Stay present for what's to come.

Pile 3 - Plumbago Flowers

XIX The Sun, XVIII The Moon, 3 of Cups, Queen of Cups; 7 - Clear Aura, 49. Be Insightful and Established

So this is a definite Yes with the Sun card coming out first! But then the Moon card popped up, which definitely surprised me. This combo doesn't often happen a lot! I think with this particular yes, you may be very excited to jump the gun and celebrate. But the Moon wants to remind you that as alluring as it may be to throw caution in the wind, it's important to keep your emotions leveled and even keeled. Your friends or community may also be affecting the choice or outcome; never mind their energy and stay true to what's in your own cup. Your intuition will guide you.

"Ground and realign your energy." Give yourself a clean fresh head start and look before you leap into anything. Lighten yourself from heavier energies. Make decisions from a place of solid reason rather than through the emotional frenzy that may surround you.

Pile 4 - Azurite

4 of Pentacles, Page of Swords, 2 of Cups, 5 of Pentacles; 14 - Grace, 42. Gentle Moderation

This pile is a very likely No. When I drew these cards, it was like rapid fire. All these cards came out at once. I feel there may be a lot of impatience, especially with the 4 of Pentacles. You may feel you've been waiting too long for something to come to fruition and you may be getting frustrated by the lack of results. With Page of Swords and 2 of Cups, I sense that there is an important lesson you must grasp before you can move ahead with this. It may have to do with communicating to your partner, friend, or coworker, or even asking for assistance.

"Take your time." Time is greatly emphasized in this pile. Before I drew this card and I saw Grace, I thought, "grace period." So you may be in or soon getting a grace period which will allow you to have the ability to ease back and think carefully about how you want to go forward. I get that it sucks when things don't show up when we've desire it for so long, but the cards want to remind you that you have more time than you think to get the results you're after.

Pile 5 - Grass Field

Knight of Pentacles, 8 of Cups, I Magician, 9 of Swords; 30 - Practical Intuition, 5. Change Direction With Ease

This pile looks to be a No, for at least this moment. This is something that may take a while to accomplish, but because you may be holding on to something no longer needed, it could be taking longer than necessary. The Magician card wants to remind you of your power to take control of the situation. Do not listen to the fears that disguise themselves as your intuition. Practical Intuition is about grounding your psychic energy into the material world. Remind yourself that your intuition works for you, not against you. When you're able to let go of old fears and worries, you'll be able to step forward with more confidence.

"It is a time to reconsider what you are wanting." Take some time to get clear on your intentions before you work your magic. The more you paint your worries as being realistic, the more likely they are to become real. Use your intuitive gifts for your benefit. You are not powerless in this situation. But it's ultimately up to you to change how this will all play out!

Pile 6 - Lily Pad Page of Wands, III of Swords, X Wheel of Fortune, 8 of Swords; 9 - Self Acceptance, 29. Empower Yourself

This pile is a Maybe because I almost took out the World card after 8 of Swords. I think with this pile, you need to take account of who you are and what you're capable of doing. You may get this sense that things are totally out of your hands and up to the universe to decide, but the cards are advising you to not default to that reasoning with this question. While it's one thing to recognize when things are out of our hands, this should not be confused with helplessness.

"Allow yourself to be the strong, beautiful person you are capable of being." I'm getting that some of you may be really harsh on yourselves when things don't turn out right. But resorting to negative self talk when things go wrong and positive talk about the universe when things go right, is an imbalanced way of perceiving this. You are powerful, and this situation can resolve itself in part thanks to your efforts. But you must be kinder with yourself to see this power first.

Pile 7 - Damselfly

XIII Death, XI Justice, XVIII The Moon, Page of Wands; 13 - Awareness; 3. In the Light of the Moon

This pile is a No. Something must be done away with here, something must be remain in the past. This is something that needs to occur inevitably, even if it's hard. Whatever it is, things seem to not be going to plan. Ultimately, this No will be in your personal favor, though it doesn't seem that way right now, because letting go will set things into better balance. You may be feeling lost with this, uncertain of how to proceed. But you are gently being guided to your next chapter in life. It's okay if you are feeling down right now, allow yourself to process the emotions (even if you're feeling disconnected from emotion) by doing what you find enjoyable to you as this all unfolds.

I find it interesting how the full moon shows up three times in this reading. I find this magically significant. Do you by chance work with lunar magic, or do you simply follow your emotional energy closely as the moon waxes and wanes? The number 13 appearing twice is also to be noted here. I'm getting that this will have to do with some kind of specific timing, like 13 days from now, or on the 13th of a month. Pay attention to your dreams for further insight and clues. Don't be afraid to shed the old to welcome in the new. Even if this doesn't work out, you carry so much magical potential in you that whatever comes next will be nothing short of wondrously transformative.

Pile 8 - Gentian Flowers

King of Pentacles, 2 of Swords, X Wheel of Fortune, King of Cups; 25 - Truth, 42. Gentle Moderation

This is a likely Yes, but there are signs of some wavering here. The message I channeled was to be true to yourself no matter what decision you may take. You may be dealing with too many conflicting opinions weighing in on something that may be important mainly for you. I'm getting practical needs vs. emotional needs. You must come to your own conclusions about how much you'll factor in one need compared to the other. If you decide both that are important, then you will need to figure out how to get the two needs to cooperate.

"Pressure from others or yourself can be released by renegotiating what you are trying to accomplish." One King to hold the wheel, the other to hold the compass. You are both the guide and the driver of this choice. Once you come to conclusions about what your personal Truth is, let that be your map to a more harmonious outcome.

Pile 9 - Blueberries

XII Hanged Man, 5 of Cups, Knight of Pentacles, XV The Devil; 29 - Nurture, 26. Where You Need to Be

This pile is a No. I'm getting a lot of nervous energy from this pile, I'm needing to take my time and breathe between each card. It may help for you to also take time out and breathe deeply. This could be something that has been stressing you out, keeping you in limbo. This is your sign to take it easy. Be gentle with yourself. You're being asked to see the difference between needing to be patient for things to manifest, and needing to rely on your own energy to overcome this. But you cannot use that energy if you cannot see it for yourself.

"Have faith the Universe will take care of a current concern by providing the best possible outcome for all involved." Just because something doesn't turn out now doesn't mean it won't be for later. You're on the right path, don't let this temporary situation sway you. In the meantime, your current focus needs to be on personal self care. You must tend to your garden and provide yourself with the healing you need to take on the things that are within your grasp.

Pile 10 - Blue Jay

2 of Wands, Ace of Wands, King of Swords, IV The Emperor; 21 - Shadow Treasures, 7. Dancing in the Rainbow

This pile is a strong Yes. You got what it takes to see this through. There is a passion lighting up from within you, and by keeping your head high and focusing on the outcome you desire, you will be given the tools you need to succeed in this. But all this won't happen on its own. You are being asked to do a majority of the work and organizing needed to pull this off. This may be a solo effort for the most part. But rest assured that you got the motivation and integrity to do it right.

"Break free from whatever you feel is holding you back." Your mind, the King of Swords, may try to freeze this fiery passion by giving you reasons that it isn't plausible or reasonable. But the 2 of wands says "this and more." Release the dichotomy of being rational and enthusiastic and embrace both, for they both have gifts to offer.

Pile 11 - Butterfly

8 of Cups, Page of Wands, King of Cups, Page of Swords; 3 - Strength, 5. Change Direction with Ease

This one is a soft Yes. It seems like there is something you need to work through first, however. You may be feeling like you need to hone in on specific skills or internal resources for the best results. You need to be confident in yourself that something must fall away if you want to begin a new with something else. Make peace with where you are now and see that you have an inner reservoir of talent and ambitions to tap into.

"This is a time for change, shapeshifting, or your soul's evolution." There is something telling you that the next stage to come will help you grow and become more well rounded. You've already mastered the art of staying calm under the tension of seeking greater and greater heights, now it's time to play into your passions and find new ways to learn and expand your knowledge.

Pile 12- Mountain Bluebird

Knight of Cups, Six of Wands, XI Justice, VIII Strength; 6 - Freedom, 11. Persistent Drive

This one is a strong Yes. Now is the exact time to make the move. Try to visualize or imagine your most desired outcome, first. Which one makes the most sense to you. Which one utilizes your greatest strengths? Which one gives you the emotional freedom to pursue your goals while abandoning all restrictions from the past that still try to tie you down? And, last but not least, which one recreates that joyful spark that lights up the dreams within you? Step out into the world and don't be afraid of a little bit of risk.

"See what you desire and move toward that goal." Be completely sure of where you want to go or want to do next. Set a practical target, one that you can easily see. Take a calculated risk, but don't get cocky or too brash. If all goes well, stay humble and pass the good vibes on.

This reading has not been evaluated by the FDA to diagnose, prevent, treat, or cure any disease or infection. Please ask your physician before going online.

2024, @VitaminseeTarot ™

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uranometrias · 3 hours

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my love mine all mine , aaron hotchner

this is incredibly self indulgent. i wrote this for myself, because my cat passed away today && i have no idea how to grieve correctly. but i've always been able to express myself the best through writing, so here i am trying to do so.

basically reader loses her kitten && hotch is there to comfort her while she grieves. reader is a doctor && gets her nails painted. mentions of sleeping in a scarf and braids (but this can apply to any race <3) hotch is pretty flirty. he also had a dog that died when he was younger (idk) ... i'm still getting used to writing him (but he's been rotting my brain) so hotch girlies please be sweet to me, i'm trying.

"Have you decided what you want me to grab on the way?" You feel giddy, eyes beaming vibrantly as you unlock your front door. Aaron was on the other line, he'd been looking forward to spending the evening with you for the past two weeks. Your jobs often sent you in separate directions, with him following cases cross country, and you spending nearly twenty hours a day working at Inova Fairfax Medical Campus. The commute was nearly an hour from Quantico, which made it difficult for your schedules to coincide the way you hoped.

Today though was an exception. He'd just gotten back from a case, a successful one, and you'd been lucky enough to finally get two days off. You couldn't contain your excitement when you'd finally managed to get Aaron on the phone, and with Jack staying at Jessica's for another night, it seemed everything was working out in your favor. You still had no idea what you were in the mood to eat, despite having ample time to figure it out. "I dunno." you mutter, and you drop your keys into the basket just to the left of the front door.

"Well honey, you've gotta give me something." Aaron chuckles, and his voices makes you feel warm and fuzzy on the inside. "I'm sure you haven't anything at all today." and it doesn't take a rocket science to know he's absolutely correct. Your stomach grumbles audibly, and you cringe, the sound a dead giveaway of your poor eating habits. "Do you need a bit more time to think about it?" he asks, and you're nodding your head, despite the fact that he can't see you. Your focus is split, eyes darting around your place in search of Piper.

Piper was your five year old tabby, the most special companion that you'd cared for since she was a newborn. Usually she'd be making her way to your front door, nudging her head against your shins, meowing her head off as some form of reprimand for being gone too long. Her absence was unusual, but you'd noticed she'd been sleeping a touch longer in the recent months. You'd taken her to the vet and they'd written off any life threatening illnesses. Perhaps she was jus becoming a lazy cat they had said.

"What'd you eat yesterday?" you ask, and you shrug off your coat next, hanging it in the closet as you slip off your cork-leather clogs. You admire your pedicure, French-tips gleaming back at you as your feet hit the cherry laminate flooring. You imagined that he'd hardly been able to eat well while out on a case, Aaron (and his team) had a horrible habit of neglecting their own health and wellness for the sake of cracking the case. You'd call him out on it, but it'd feel to hypocritical with the way you gave most of your life to the hospital.

"Four cups of coffee." and he sounds sheepish as he replies, he'd been running himself ragged with this last particular case. He couldn't leave the precinct until he was convinced he'd made a dent in the investigation. He could imagine your disappointed pout, but he was doing his best, or at least trying his best. "But, Dave made sure that I got something this morning before we got on the jet." and it's not like he has to explain himself to you, you'd never berate him. He believed it was just a side effect of falling for you.

"Four cups?" you gasp, head already shaking. "You're going to turn into a cup of coffee if you keep up with habits like those." you scold. "You'll have to double your water intake, you could seriously dehydrate yourself that way." you say with a quiet huff. You round the corner of the foyer, heading for the kitchen. "Are you feeling alright?" your tone grows a bit softer, "Four cups means you were really absorbed in the case. Everything okay?" you tread lightly. You weren't quite sure how he felt about you asking about his job.

"As far as endings go, I'd say it was better than most." he replies thoughtfully, clearly unfazed by your desire to probe. That makes you smile a bit, the obviousness of his trust for you. "We minimized the amount of deaths, the unsub was taken into custody... the team worked really hard." he proceeds, and you find yourself grinning. "But, I will do a better job of taking care of myself. You'd be a good nurse, but I can imagine a few better scenarios for you to take care of me."

You smile despite the fact it makes your heart stutter step. You were still getting used to him growing more confident in this way, but you weren't complaining in the slightest. "I'd be a great nurse." you correct him delicately, "I'd enjoy taking care of you in any way though." and you bet he can hear your shyness through the phone. Your relationship with Aaron still felt fairly new, you'd been seeing one another for going on seven months, but you knew you loved him.

Even if you hadn't managed to say it just yet.

"Look at that, another thing we have in common." he exhales, and you want him to hurry up and get to you. You hadn't seen him in so long, and despite the fact you were willing to mount him on sight, you just wanted to enjoy being in the same place for once. "How are you? Did you have a good day?" and you like the way he's so attentive, how he seems to genuinely care about what you had to say.

"It was great." you insist, and you've poured yourself a glass of water, ice tinkling as you scanned the dining room for any sign of Piper. Still nothing, weird. "I went to the bookstore a bit earlier, got a few novels for my book shelf." you list. "I got my nails done, and I got a facial. It was so relaxing I wound up falling asleep on the table." and you chuckle a bit at the memory. "Piper and I went on a drive before lunch, she's so spoiled." you add, but you're still scouring the space.

"Drafted up my budget for the month, my new schedule came in," you exhale tiredly at the thought. "Picked up my scrubs from the dry cleaners, I did a grocery run, and went to see the flower exhibit near the Farmer's Market. I got this really incredible soft-pretzel croissant." you sigh dreamily at the memory. "And now I'm home, and waiting for you." you complete, and you lean forward, arms resting against the countertop. "It was a really nice day. I thought I wouldn't know what to do without work, but I'd nearly forgotten what it feels like to be off."

Aaron's silent, but not because he's disinterested in your ramblings. He finds them endearing, and oftentimes had to remind himself that you, much like Jack, needed verbal response in order to feel heard. "I missed you." and it's not quite what he was aiming to say, but it's what comes out. It's true, it had been a while since he'd seen you in person, and with the way your schedules overlapped, he'd hardly been able to get much conversation out of you apart from quick check-ins in between patients and breaks in BAU cases.

You let out a quiet puff of air, it's not quite a sigh nor an exhale. Your lips curve upwards, and you wonder if there's a record out there for most smiles achieved in a single phone call. "You've got no idea how happy that makes me." you reply, and you inhale deep. "I missed you too, hurry up and get over here." you press, and you replay the sound of his responding laugh over in your mind. You don't think you could be more lovesick, but it's a more than welcomed feeling. "As far as dinner, why don't I just cook something?" you offer with a shrug.

"Do you want to?" and Aaron's got this weird thing about him where he's still getting used to the fact that you want to do certain things for him. You go over it a lot, reminding him that you'd love nothing more than to spoil him as much as he spoils you. He's still a bit hesitant, but you don't mind fighting the good fight until he relented. His hands tighten just slightly on the steering wheel, and his leg jumps as he awaits your response. He knows, or better put, he has an idea of what you'll say. He still wants to hear it either way.

"We take care of each other, mon amour." You coo, and he feels that familiar rush of affection towards you. "It'll be fun." you add, and then you're sighing audibly. "I just really can't wait to see you. I don't want to wait any longer than I need to." you express, and Aaron understands. He'd been restless on the jet, Dave and Emily seemed to zero in on his jitters, he was thankful they had enough couth to keep it to themselves. All he received was a knowing smirk from Rossi as he made a beeline for the tarmac the second the jet landed.

"I'll be there soon." he promises, and you grow giddier. "I-" and he wants to cross the line, mutter three worded phrase that would change everything. He'd been learning to be more bold, to focus on the things he could control, and appreciate those things. "I love you." he doesn't have time to think about the repercussions, because it's out, and there's a strong sense of relief that washes over him. You are surprised, but elated. The excitement his words bring you is hard to diminish.

"I love you too." and it comes out as easy as breathing. Probably because you mean it with all of your heart. "I'll see you soon, Mr. Hotchner." you promise, and he's chuckling at your sudden formality, likely a side effect of your newfound nerves at the huge step you'd both taken in your relationship.

"See you soon." you don't bring the phone from your ear until you hear the faint click of the call ending. You exhale shakily, mind running at a mile a minute as your heart seems to double in size. Still, you find this moment is short lived- mind once again on the eerie silence in your apartment. You place your glass down on the counter, coaster be damned as you make your way past the dining room and towards the living room. Sometimes you'd find Piper curled up on the couch, quiet purrs escaping her as she slept contently.

"Piper!" you coo, surprised when you note that she's nowhere to be found. You know that she wasn't outside, you'd made sure before leaving back out that she was comfortable in the house. You follow the layout of your place, the archway that led from the living room back to the foyer is the route you take, heading towards your bedroom as you continuously call for the cat. "Piper, where are you, pretty girl?" you enter your room, hopeful that you'll find her there.

You spot her little paw peeking out of her hideaway and instantly relax. "Oh Piper, you scared me." you let out a shaky sort of giggle as you fully enter your bedroom, feet brushing over the comforting carpet. You kneel just in front of the hideaway, reaching out to pet her. It takes you a few moments to make peace with the fact that she's not rousing. You swallow thickly, a lump growing in your throat as you wiggle her paw. She doesn't move, just as limp as before.

"Piper?" you feel the way your throat constricts, eyes immediately wanting to brim with tears, as you grow frantic. "Oh, please no-" you exclaim, head shaking as you feel a shudder rack through you. You're gentle as you maneuver around the hideaway, hands looping around her small body as you move to pull her out. She's limp, not even the act of you lifting her up enough to make her move. Your glow feels like it's diminished almost instantly, a dark cloud setting in over your head. It seemed a bit silly, panicked over the loss of a cat.

But she was yours, like a daughter to you in the way you cared for her, and made her apart of your routine. She was special, and despite the reputation cats gained for being standoffish and unable to understand human love, you knew that to be wrong. Piper was sweet, a loving cat that curled up beside you every night and followed you like a second shadow. She'd play games of tag with you, chasing you around your apartment as you squealed and screamed for your life.

"Please, please, no-" you're shedding real tears now, they're slipping down your cheeks in a constant succession. "Piper, please wake up!" it's silly, probably. Rocking back and forth with a dead cat in your hand hoping that sheer adoration will be enough to turn back the hands of time. It's certainly not, and the reality crushes you. The first sob is choked, almost like you're holding yourself back, not letting your feelings take full affect. You hadn't prepared yourself at all.

You didn't know what to do.

You think that's when the first swell of sobs begins. They're more ugly wails than anything else, the loud sound echoing through the space in front of you as your arms lower, Piper's body leaning against you as you continued to let your tears flow freely. Your chest tightens, constricting every couple of seconds like you'd suddenly developed chronic heartburn. The pain is a violent assassin, the air around you feeling tight. You think you may be choking on all that you're feeling.

You hate the part of your brain that was constantly in 'Doctor Mode', the side that reminded you that despite your grief, handling a deceased animal like this was a surefire way to get sick. Her body wouldn't start to decompose for at least another day, but you had no real way of knowing just how long she'd actually been dead. You don't move though, until at least your sobs have waned, you know it's not the end of them, but it's a reprieve just for a moment.

You slowly climb to your feet, still clutching Piper as your eyes whip around your bedroom. Your eyes land on her carrier, and the image makes you want to cry all over again. You shut your eyes, allowing yourself to take in a deep breath. It doesn't help. Still, your feet lead you over to the carrier, where you're gently placing Piper. Her vet was only eight minutes up the street, and maybe your ability to dispose of her so quickly was precisely why this was happening to you.

Guilt was loud, too loud. It almost knocked you to your knees as you imagined Piper's fear whilst you were gone. Was she sick? How long had she been? Why hadn't you noticed? Why did you leave her alone? Why weren't you there? You let her down. You had let her down.

You want to curl into a ball, hide under the blankets and cry until you passed out. But, she deserved better. She deserved to not be lugged around like she was some prop, she needed a proper place to rest. Once her carrier is zipped up, you're picking it up by the handles, using your other hand to swipe at the tears still trying to fall. You take the route you'd walked not ten minutes prior, slipping your shoes back on, and grabbing hold of your keys. Aaron still had another forty minutes or so in his drive, you hoped it went by quickly.

You don't think you ever needed him more than now.

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The sobs returned the second you'd walked past the threshold of your house. You sluggishly made your way back to your bedroom. It felt much lonelier now, the house feeling much too big for just you. You think that makes you cry even harder. You're covering your mouth with your hand, hoping that it would be enough to mask the sound of your bawling. You doubt that it does, but you can't do much else. You don't want to go to sleep, you don't want to do anything.

You begin berating your behavior once more in your head, replaying all the ways you'd been a shitty caretaker even though you know it's a bad idea. Your leg shakes under your comforter, the blanket squished underneath your body as you hid your face beneath the blazing heat of your huge blanket. You don't even realize how long you've spent in this space of self-loathing and bitter tears, until you hear the front door's lock shifting out of place. Aaron was here.

"Y/N, sweetheart?" and you want to run to him more than anything. You can't though, because you don't want him to think you're a failure. So you stay put, and you cry a bit more, sniffles growing more audible as you're forced to choke back angry sobs. It doesn't take long for him to make his way towards where you are, and you don't know what he'll say when he finds you looking a mess. You know your mascara has given you racoon eyes, and in your grief, you'd failed to tie a scarf around your head. Your braids would look messy soon.

"Y/N?" and his voice is so soft, soothing, everything you don't deserve now. Your hand clutches a fistful of your shirt, right where your heart rests. "Are you in here, honey?" and you sniffle, an answer all on its own. You barely hear his footsteps, but you feel it when the bed dips just slightly, and you feel it when he gently pulls at your blanket. When he's pulled it back, he's met with the sight of your tear-streaked cheeks. Your nose was runny and raw, and your lip was quivering. It didn't take a profiler to know that you'd been crying, and he frowns.

"Are you alright?" he questions, and his hand reaches out to brush against your cheek and neck, almost like he was checking your temperature. "You've been crying?" and he examines you subtly for any signs of assault or struggle. "Did something happen?" and he knows he keeps asking questions, but he's getting worried.

"P-" and a sob racks through you, your entire body curling in on itself. Your hand is pressing against your mouth again, and your shoulders shake as you began to cry once more. "Piper she-" and your head shakes, hand clenching and unclenching against your shirt. Aaron's eyes dance around your room, and his eyebrows push inwards. He was worried, but determined to be extremely delicate with you, namely by being patient as you got out what you needed to tell him. "Piper's dead." you finally say, shoulders sagging as you weep.

Aaron's examining your face, which gives you a front row seat of the way his face is eclipsed with compassion. "Oh, honey..." his lips pull downwards into a frown, and you know, of course you know it's awkward. What do you realistically say to a person that loses their cat? It's not like any amount of conversation would bring her back. "I'm so sorry...." and usually it sounds empty when anyone offers condolences, but like with most things, Aaron is an exception. "Are you okay? Can you tell me what happened?" he pleads.

And you know that he knows that you're not okay. It's meant to be a stupid question, the obvious one. But you also know that he's giving you the chance to vent, to articulate everything you feel with no judgement. It makes you want to curl into him, and stay wrapped up in his arms until neither of you had any idea where one ended and the other began. "I just-" you have to take a moment to gather yourself, hiccupping blubbers escaping you. "I came home, and I-" your voice cracks harshly. "She was just gone. I don't-" you shake your head.

"I don't know what happened." you express, and Aaron's sympathetic, and he hates seeing you like this. Every time you cry it makes the hairs on the back of his neck stand upright. He supposed that came with loving you, an innate desire to protect you, and keep the bad things out. He'd only ever seen you in this state a handful of times, mostly when things went wrong at the hospital and you lost a patient. He had to get to you before you started blaming yourself for something that completely out of your control.

He didn't know much, but he did know your love for Piper, and how deep it ran. He knew without a shadow of a doubt that you'd never do something to put her in harm's way, you'd never do anything to hurt her. And he wants to pull you into his arms and tell you everything will be alright, he wants to be there to anchor you down. To ground you in the midst of all these swimming and overwhelming emotions trying to fight for the upper hand. He wanted to be there for you.

"Is there anything that you need from me?" he asks gently, grief was harsh, it came in ripples and waves. It was gut-punching, it could be loud and then silent. Sneaky and then outright. It was a process, and whether anyone else thought so, if you needed to grieve the life of your pet, you should. Who was he to ever get in the way? He's gently rubbing his thumb over your cheek, your tears splattering as you kept the duvet pulled up to your chin, as you stared him down. He figured you must have been deep in thought.

It takes a moment for you to reply, and he's fine with the silence. You're tears haven't stopped, but they've grown more quiet. Silent tears that pool and trickle down his wrist and onto the blanket. You soon take in a shaky puff of air as you sit up. Aaron's patient as ever, watching as you pull your legs from underneath the blanket, crawling until you were sitting on his lap. There's no sexual undertone to your movements, you don't want to fool around, you just want to be close.

Your head rests against him, eyes closing as his arms envelop you. "Can you just stay with me?" you ask, and he's already nodding his head. You both knew it was an impossible request. At any moment you could get paged, or he could get a call about a new case. The world didn't stop all because you were grieving, but for one second you both could pretend. He could stay right here with you, and you could love him, and not feel so overwhelmed by all your sadness.

"I'm not going anywhere." he mutters, and he's reaching for your hand. His easily dwarfs your own, but it's still just as comfortable, letting your palms press against his own. "I have never lost a cat before-" and he's treading lightly, wanting more than anything to help you and not harm you. "But I did lose a pet when I was younger." he expresses, and your interest is peaked, just slightly.

"What type of pet?" you ask faintly, and you're squeezing his hand in your own. He knows that it's comforting you so he says nothing about the tight pinch of his fingers pressing together.

"He was a golden retriever actually." Aaron replies, "Nothing was particularly wrong with him. He was fed well, taken care of, treated like one of the family..." he proceeds, and you involuntarily hold your breath as you listen. "But one day he just... he just went." Hotch proceeds, "And when you're a little kid that's not in the best environment, a staple like a pet dog is important. Losing him was like losing the only bit of sanity I could cling to. Does that make sense?"

Your head nods, and you squeeze his hand again to show him you care. "And surprisingly enough, I found myself crying over it. Mourning this dog, an animal that was part of the family, but of course, was not my family member." he continues, and his chin rests on the top of your head. "The point is, him being a dog didn't make it hurt any less when he left. It's okay to be upset about Piper, she was important to you, special even." he whispers. "And you did a great job giving her all the love you possibly could." his eyes close then.

"I need you to know that it wasn't your fault. And keeping yourself up with thoughts of 'what ifs'." it's his turn to squeeze your hand this time. "And those moments where you... didn't want to play, or wanted to be left alone are not what she remembered when she passed on." he insists, and he won't take any arguments on the matter. "You gave her five amazing years, and whether science backs it up or not, she knew how much you loved her." he insists. "You might not believe it today, but I hope that you do in time." and he kisses your forehead.

It's butterfly inducing, and makes you cling all the more to him. "You're not by yourself." he adds, and you're glad to know it. You peel back, eyes locking with his, and they're glassy. You hate seeing such a grief-stricken look on his face, at your sake no less. It makes you lean forward and kiss him, in the hopes you'd manage to kiss it away. He kisses back instantly, and you're still sad, you probably will be for a long while, but you don't feel as lonely as you did an hour ago.

"I love you." you mumble the second you've pulled back, and this time there's no phone. His eyes are swirling with so many thoughts and feelings of his own, but you need him to know you mean it, and likely always will. You couldn't imagine anyone else being here with you like this now, nobody else that would care enough to grieve with you. He gives you a half smile, and kisses you once more, a much deeper kiss that makes you lightheaded and dizzy. Of course he had that effect.

"I love you too." and you're happy that he hasn't left you hanging. Your fingers trace his collarbones and cheeks, moving to cup his face with your right hand. You kiss him again, this time just long enough to get the message across. When you pull back, your head is finding it's place back on his chest, and his arms move up and down, rubbing gentle circles against your back, as he cranes his neck to kiss your head. It makes your stomach flutter, but it makes you want to cry too.

He leaves three gentle pecks on the top of your head, moving to kiss your cheek, before he's looping his arms around your waist with a palpable amount of admiration. He plants a sweet kiss on your shoulder, and mimic this action by offering him a kiss of your own. "Thank you." you exhale, and you mean it so wholeheartedly.

"You don't need to thank me, Y/N. We take care of each other, mon amour, remember?" and he recites your earlier words back to you. It makes you cling to him much tighter, tears returning to your lashline as Aaron pulls you even closer to him. "If you need to cry a little bit more, go right ahead. I'm right here." so you do.

Grief was a lot, it could be paralyzing, debilitating, and outright traumatic, but you knew even if it didn't feel that way now, in time you'd be okay. Part of you felt like you had Aaron to thank for that.

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