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this blog is now archived !! find my MASTERLIST here !!

hi guys, and here’s a long overdue post that i wanted to take the time to make after collecting as many screenshots as i can for a lot of rumors that i think need to be addressed. before i do that, i wanted to apologize to all of my mutuals who ended up wrongfully harassed in their inboxes for simply knowing me—the irony of this issue being about bullying all the while people on this app have been simultaneously being genuinely awful to other writers who have zero involvement has been ridiculous.

i would’ve made this post sooner, but december was very busy—as you all know, i’ve been working with two separate companies for my capstone projects, and i had final presentations with boards to worry about. and then a cruise which was fun, but i was offline. now that i’ve finally had time to enjoy my break and collect my thoughts, i’d like to voice my own side to the discourse i’m sure you’ve all seen posted by @/garoujo, who is now @/gojoath.

first and foremost, i’ve been on tumblr for almost 4 years now, and while i may not have the brightest moments on here (no one will be spot-free in that amount of time), i’d like to think that if i actually went out of my way to vicious or bully people, this would’ve come to people’s attention a lot sooner. i’ve had a relatively large following across all 6 of my blogs in my time here, and while i don’t like to get into the metrics of my blogs, the reason i point this out is because i have willingly started my blog over 6 times. 3 of these were sfw blogs under my nickname tee, another 2 of which were my previous nsfw blogs under a different alias, and saetoru which is the current one, where i finally decided to combine my sfw and nsfw writing into one space. i just wanted to bring that up because i had quite a habit of leaving and restarting blogs before this one, and had i been obsessed with outperforming other writers in terms of follower counts, i would not have left the previous ones as often as i did. 

that being said, i’ll also go through a timeline of events and how they’ve snowballed into an issue that is not as one-sided as most of you might think. i’ve been mutuals with emmie since my first blog, and i’d been mutuals with her through most of her blogs as well. we’ve never really had issues until her last blog @/garoujo, which she’d started after deactivating @/atsymu due to discourse regarding racism accusations. the reason why we had a falling out was because i felt that there were a series of odd coincidences that felt slightly purposeful, but i was still questioning whether or not i was looking too deeply into it to actually point any of it out.

admittedly, when i saw her first set of banners, i felt our layouts were a slight bit similar, but i really didn’t mind too much because i had been planning to change my banners anyway because i was bored of them. so i took that as an opportunity to do so. it just so happened that within a day or two of every time i changed my banners, hers would be changed too—i never said i owned the color gray, and i even fully acknowledge that the last two sets of banners, at first glance, wouldn’t be a red flag. because, like i said, i was more uncomfortable with the pattern of coincidences than the actual layouts. then i switched to my instagram theme, and not long after, i noticed her add instagram story visuals to her navi. again, no one ever said instagram was my original idea, and that no one else could use it, but it was an unsettling feeling having the same moot continuously make changes around the same time as you, and changes that are different enough that you can’t exactly point out an issue, but slightly similar enough that you can’t exactly ignore the slight oddness.

coincidentally, the same day, another blog (who i will not name bc they’re not very active anymore and are also not very relevant to this story) made the same theme as me and i was a bit peeved because this same blog is someone who has copied a few other things from me and a handful of other moots, so i made a subpost on my moots-only personal blog at the time. keep in mind, i made this post fully aware that emmie was on this blog because i didn’t intend for that post to seem like it was about her. but she reached out to me, and i explained to her the situation, and i even provided the relevant screenshots to show my points. i still considered her a decently good friend at the time, and even with the slightly off feelings, i was still adamant about brushing them off and considering them coincidences that perhaps i was being a bit too critical of.

it wasn’t until i woke up a few hours later after changing my theme and going to bed that i noticed she’d then fully switched to the insta theme. again, instagram is an app used by millions and, at one point, was a very popular theme used amongst most people on this app. i’m not entitled enough to believe i was the first person to do it, but like i said. there are just off vibes most of us will not help but feel when a series of coincidences continue to happen back to back to back by the same person.

there were, amongst these things, a number of other small touches that made me feel off. most of them i don’t remember by now or have screenshots of, so i won’t bother to go into all of them, but for reference, one example i’d also like to point out that i’d had the phrase “you’ve reached the hanmas” in my inbox when she was still on @/atsymu, and sometime after, her sfw blog @/loveatsu had the phrase “you’ve reached the miyas.” small things like this are not things i make an issue over and am more than capable of brushing aside, but like i have said and will continue to push firmly is that i felt there were multiple instances of emmie, in particular, making small tweaks to her blog shortly after me that made me feel were not all coincidentally similar. the issue was never themes or thinking i am the first or only person to do something a certain way, the issue has always been me countless times feeling that one particular individual is exhibiting a behavior that is persistent and uncomfortable no matter how minuscule the instances may be. maybe they were really just unfortunate coincidences that happened with poor timing, or maybe they weren’t. but i stand by the fact that anyone in my shoes would be valid to question the timing of each of these events over and over again.

i would also like to bring up kinktober (though this happened a while after the rest of what i will get into) because this was the first public discourse that emmie and i got into due to an anon’s claims of similarities between our posts. i had received an anon who told me “i think someone copied your kinktober masterlist” which i answered to ask if they could let me know who. they had come back to say it was garoujo, and i did not reply to the ask, instead, i made a post to vaguely tell the anon that i appreciate them letting me know, but i will just leave it be and continue on with my kinktober regardless of emmie’s mlist. i do think there were some vague similarities, but honestly not enough to really question it, so i figured a confrontation or issue was not necessary. a while later, several moots had messaged me to let me know they had received anonymous asks saying to “block @/garoujo she copied @/sakusins and she’ll copy you too” (or something along those lines, i don’t remember exactly.) i myself was very confused (and upset) by the situation because i did not, and still would not, want to be publicly name-dropped in other people’s inboxes over issues that do not involve them. unfortunately, it led to some not-very-kind asks to both of us, and while i am sorry she had to deal with that, it is not an apology from a sense of culpability. that situation was, and still is, entirely out of my control. i would not have seen the masterlist unless the anon had mentioned it, and i did not take part in having people send asks about her to other writers. especially not in a manner that was pretty much social suicide for me as well. 

(this is a poorly made collage i know lol but i hit the picture limit bear with me here.)

i would also like to point out that i am not the only individual who has had issues with emmie and feels she had copied them. although i cannot disclose urls (they have been blocked out for privacy reasons) here are a few conversations i have had with my own mutuals, and i would wager there are more people whom i haven’t talked to who also feel this way. they might be small enough instances that sparking issues over them was not worth it to all of these people, therefore she has never heard from people herself about this issue, but the point does still stand that this claim about emmie is not one i alone make, and is one that i have heard countless times before. her never being approached by these individuals for the sake of peace doesn’t erase that they have been, and are, upset by these events, and it’s a habit that she seems to continually partake in. i would also like to link this post where she has been called out by another writer while she was still atsymu, which was posted while we were still friends. i’ve actually had a discussion with emmie about that post, and at the time, i had quickly skimmed the post and felt it was perhaps a reach, but after my own experiences, i went back to reread the post and considered perhaps there was validity to it, and that this might not be a one time occurrence. plagiarism in manners such as this will always have conflicting opinions, and it is hard to sometimes tell if something is a coincidence, a popular and overused idea, or something that has actually been copied. my point is that a number of people have all felt that perhaps there is a good chance this was not an accident, and please consider that so many instances of people feeling this way might suggest that there is a certain degree of validity to the claim.

at the beginning of all of this, when the masterlist banners had first started bothering me, i was upset, and i chose to vent to an ex-moot of mine who most of you would recognize as munsonsins. abby has deactivated a long while ago, but she’s relevant to this because i had chosen to vent to her at the time, and this is more or less what later caused this situation to escalate. at the time of venting to her, i knew she wasn’t mutuals with emmie because, as you can see, she’d told me as such. 

one thing i would like to point out is that there were a handful of people i had vented to about my frustrations with emmie, but one thing i had always been mindful of was ensuring these were a) individuals who i considered close friends and not just random individuals, and b) were not friends or moots with emmie in the event that i accidentally made people who she cared about think lesser of her. had abby been mutuals with emmie, i would not have shared my feelings, and once again, i was not loose-lipped enough to just tell anyone because they’d listen. i told abby in particular because i had felt we were sufficiently close individuals who talked one-on-one and were able to vent to each other. a bit after i vented to her, though, she befriended emmie, which i had no such issues with because abby was/is her own person and is an adult who can interact freely and befriend whoever she wanted/wants to. 

not long after that, on the night before eid (this detail is relevant in the future) an ex moot of mine @/kazuwhora reached out to me. if you guys remember, there was a discourse last year that was all over dash about how writers on this app should be open to criticism. a lot of people (including me and kc) were upset by that sentiment—which is still valid. please don’t give constructive criticism to writers without their explicit permission !! but regardless, kc sent me a screenshot of a mutual of mine who had posted their opinion on this discourse, and their point was clearly that while constructive criticism is important in some aspects, writers do not have to be subject to receiving it should they not want to. unfortunately, i felt as if kc misunderstood what this individual was trying to say, and i was trying to explain it to her, but we got into a small argument over how we interpreted the post. i felt some of the things she was saying about this individual were inappropriate, and i had made it clear that i was very fond of this person, and it made me uncomfortable to be having this discussion. regardless of whether she saw my interpretation of the post or not, i wanted to drop the discussion, especially because it was the night before eid. eid is the one holiday i celebrate, and there are traditions i quite enjoy the night before, and i didn’t want them to be spoiled with a poor mood over a silly argument. unfortunately, she wasn’t very willing to drop the topic, and it ended up making me upset. so i posted this screenshot to my moots only personal from the conversation that consisted of my messages only and said, “tonight i had to explain what a debate is.” it was petty, perhaps, but very harmless, seeing as there was no context given and no names/pfps to indicate who the person was.

truthfully, i had vented separately to cat, eris, and abby about this argument because i was friends with the three of them at the time, but needless to say, venting to your friends about arguments is a universal action, and i believe it is something all of us have partaken in. 

eventually, i decided to softblock emmie because i felt it would be more comfortable for me on my blog to do so. after a bit, i was informed of a subpost that seemed like it couldn’t be about anyone other than me—to make things clear, emmie subposting me was not my concern. i did not hold it against her because she is more than entitled to have her own feelings and vents on her own blog, but the thing that did concern me was that it seemed slightly evident that she was aware of my feelings when i had never explicitly had a conversation with her. it made me question who would tell her, and as you may have guessed, the only person with whom i had shared my concerns who could also be in contact with emmie was abby. 

at the time, eris had also voiced concerns that they had trusted abby with the ending of the plot for the diluc series they were planning, and coincidentally, one of abby’s friends had posted a fic idea eerily similar to their concept, to which abby had been commenting and reblogging more brainstormed ideas under. all of these ideas were very close to the plans eris had for their series plot, and understandably, they felt that it was not a mere coincidence that their entire plot was being brainstormed on dash by a person who was fully aware of their outline. i’d voiced my concerns with believing that abby may have also been sharing things i trusted her with, and as a result we both had made a few vague subposts that we liked from each other—a petty behavior, i will admit, but not something that i think is very out of the norm for a lot of people on this app. sometimes, we all just want to vent out our frustrations, and because we all more or less use tumblr as an outlet, these can sometimes be vaguely taken to dash. it’s not something that is ideally recommended (i’ve learned the hard way) but it’s also ?? not exactly something that only i’m guilty of, or is even a rare behavior. i think to shoot down one person for this behavior is quite frankly hypocritical. again, subposting isn’t a habit i would like to push as mature but it’s something i’d like to point out is very normal in this community, and is not something only i take part in. beyond that, i take to ensuring that whenever i do, i’m not explicitly exposing who i’m talking about in order to keep them out of unnecessary issues. 

after this conversation with eris, it kind of solidified in my mind that i did not want to trust abby with any more personal vents, or information, and i had ultimately decided to soft block her too. i had also decided to take the opportunity to softblock kc as well because i figured i might as well just remove individuals who i felt made me uncomfortable. this is, again, my right to do so to curate my own space. not long after, cat, eris, and i had been softblocked/hardblocked by a number of moots, and we were a bit confused, until cat ended up having a conversation with kc. many accusations were made about all three of us, more specifically, about me to kc by abby because the two of them had been discussing that they’d both been softblocked by me recently.

the list of accusations we were told of is as follows:

me, cat, and eris have a “burn book” where we “blacklist people.” it’s important to note that every time this discourse resurfaces (this is now the fourth time), the “burn book” has fundamentally changed in its composition—it has changed from a discord server “burn book”, to a google doc “burn book”, to the current rumor that it was an entire blog that was used as a “burn book.” it is consistently changed to fit whatever narrative is trying to be pushed, and regardless, the rumor itself is entirely untrue and has been addressed multiple times. cat has had a tumblr theme, a collab theme, and a server theme all dedicated to the film mean girls. she simply had a channel that was to share the urls of minors to block for interacting with nsfw works, or people who were anti-dark content—this is something that i have seen in all servers i’ve been in during my time on tumblr, and is not a new concept for many of you either. it’s simply a precaution a lot of servers take to warn writers about potential minors to block, and potential anti-dark content harassers. the name of this channel happened to be “the burn book” because it was a mean girls themed server, so the name just fit. nowhere in this channel were other writers in the community “blacklisted” or spoken negatively of, and here are the screenshots of the channel. this was simply something abby had twisted in order to paint us negatively. here is the link to cat’s post addressing it for proof and explanation (i run out of pictures or i would include them myself.)

abby also claimed that i was using this channel to talk poorly about kc and a handful of other moots. this is also false bc this server had several strangers (as it was cat’s server and i didn’t know all her moots), but it also had several of kc’s mutuals/friends in this server as well. i’m not so dense as to talk poorly about other writers publicly in a server, let alone a server i know has people who are friends with kc

now, this next part, emmie has conveniently painted out to be about me, as i apparently harassed and blacklisted people for liking itto from genshin impact, but i have been playing genshin for over a year on this app, and quite a large number of you are my own followers who see my rambles and my writing and i don’t have to explain that i have never written for itto, nor explicitly expressed an interest in him apart from perhaps one or two posts from back when i did his story quest. i never had, and still to this day, have no interest in the character itto. i’ve skipped his banner, i plan to skip his upcoming banners should they come, and i have never written for him, nor do i plan to write for him. this issue with itto is between eris and another individual, and i do not have the details to this, as i was new friends with eris at the time, and i’m no longer friends with eris as of current time. quite frankly, even if i knew the details, i wouldn’t go out of my way to share them because it has nothing to do with me. plain and simple.

as you can see, there were a number of rumors spread here to kc by abby, and as you can see, all of which led me to seem quite vicious in character. i’ve provided, to the best of my ability, screenshots and receipts of why each of these is quite drastically out of context and far from true to what abby has claimed. 

i did in fact, after these events confront abby because i was genuinely appalled by the way she knowingly and purposely twisted things conveniently to villainize me. she expressed that she was upset and paranoid by the subposts that she figured were about her once i’d soft blocked her, so i apologized for the posts. she had conversations with both me and cat about the rumors she’d started, and she also apologized for them to both me and cat.

the rumors that emmie has claimed about me in her post, which she conveniently provided no evidence of, are all rumors that are more or less a result of my differences with abby and kc. unfortunately, despite cat trying her best to explain to kc the falseness of most of these rumors, she didn’t really believe them—which is her business. to each their own. i’m sure if i had been in kc’s shoes and in one night, someone i had considered a friend had been painted to do a series of nasty things behind my back, i also would not know what’s true and untrue, and she is entitled to piecing together what she believes is her truth. what’s not fair, however, is for emmie to have no involvement/understanding of these events apart from a twisted narrative she heard from one person and dog pile them into her claims of my behavior to further paint me as a villain. emmie is more than entitled to have her beliefs on my character based on her own experiences, which she has provided her own evidence of, but simply slapping an “and i heard she also….” does not necessarily make claims true, and is very manipulatively thrown into the post to add a list of things that make my character questionable to further validate her point. 

not only this, but she has made a point to openly admit that she and her friends have collectively mocked me for my relationship with my ex-boyfriend, who they have apparently labeled as my “fake” boyfriend that i used to get attention on this app. quite plainly, i get enough attention on my blog that i don’t need a fake boyfriend to amp that up. but furthermore, i am a south asian, muslim individual. my parents are immigrants with very strict religious and cultural beliefs that i feel are very restricting at times, and though i love my family, i struggle with my identity quite a bit as i live in a very western culture that clashes quite a bit with my cultural norms. i do not get to freely explore my sexuality or even romantic life in general, unlike some of you. my parents have been kept in the dark about my relationship because them knowing about it is something that could quite literally create a rift between us, and i find it very insulting and almost suspicious that a white girl is making a mockery of my cultural struggles and my personal life. many of you are either desi or muslim or simply children of strict immigrant parents with quite stubborn traditional views. i’m sure plenty of you understand where i’m coming from when i say that i have to keep my relationship hidden from the majority of the people around me. tumblr is the one place i can anonymously share bits and pieces of my life without worrying about if it will literally cost me my relationship with my parents, so sometimes i may have overshared silly or pointless things, but that is because it’s my own way of being able to express myself and my relationship the way i have always wanted to. apart from that, dragging and making a joke out of someone’s personal life is quite unnecessary in this case. the issue is about tumblr discourse, and i find it very hypocritical that i am being labeled a bully when people, more specifically a white and privileged individual, is plain and simple mocking and poking fun at my personal life and situation that i have no control of. that is my piece on that. whether some of you believe i had a partner or not is not my business, nor do i have to go out of my way to show you evidence of my personal life. what i will say, however, is that there are a handful of close friends i have on this app who are involved in my personal life and have seen evidence of my love life through pictures and private stories on social media. quite frankly, these are the only individuals who i have to justify the validity of my personal life to, and it’s honestly quite violating for someone to stoop to dragging someone’s outside life into issues about tumblr. i extend a very genuine fuck you to every single one of you that have ridiculed my personal relationship and just know that you are extremely bold to consider yourselves above bullying when this is the type of behavior you admit to engaging in. individuals with complex familial relationships, and identity struggles between cultural norms, their ethnicities, and the western world are not your playground to make a joke out of. some of us have very real struggles, such as not being able to pursue careers in favor of arranged marriages, not being able to pursue actual relationships that mean something to us due to a lack of familial approval, being forced to bear children at young ages due to familial pressure, and so on. they are not laughing matters, and are a part of my reality. and before some of you get started—yes, it really is that serious. i have struggled my entire life with having white girls poke fun and tease at my cultural norms, and i refuse to allow another white and privileged individual who already has a record of racially related discourse walk away with once more poking fun at my personal struggles and not be called out for it. i hope you had a good, long, satisfying laugh emmie.

onto my next points based on claims @/anantaru has made about me. the main thing i’d like to really point out here is that anantaru and i have never, not even once, interacted to the extent of my knowledge. they claim that cat and i cannot stand it when people cross us in numbers and that we go through people’s likes in order to find minors and blank blogs to explain all the notes. a) i am very bad at checking for minors and blanks in my own notes, so this is not even a logical approach on my end, but b) this claim is made because cat made this post under the tags of a post going around last year that asked to hear unpopular ficblr opinions.

what cat means to articulate here is that sometimes, when she is scrolling on dash and interacting with moots and their shit/talk-posts, she peeks at profiles she sees in the notes and has happened to catch minors lurking. cat, firstly, has never followed anantaru, so they are not a “victim” to cat glancing at their likes, but secondly, this is not nearly as psychotic as it’s painted out to be. cat is not, and was not, jealous of other blog's notes. quite plainly, she’s not exactly a tiny blog either, and she’s only stumbled upon minors in the talks-posts of moots, including me. shit-posts/talks-posts are easy to notice minors lurking on, and while most people recognize that it’s quite impossible to catch every minor and ageless blog in writing posts with numerous notes, a simple shit-post on dash is more simple, and her unpopular opinion was simply that blogs that grow rapidly need to be better about catching those minors because they are susceptible to having more of them lurking. it’s a really harmless sentiment, and she’s gently reminded me as well on more than one occasion to be more responsible about my habit of being lazy when scouting for minors in my interactions. 

this is not out of jealousy, nor is it some sick and twisted habit she has to “explain” why people get more notes than she might get. it’s also out of a place of concern for her own content ?? i myself and plenty of other large blogs reblog from mutuals, and they are well within their right to be concerned that perhaps minors are lurking on our pages and interacting with works we reblog from our mutuals. cat has voiced this concern to me before, also out of goodwill and simple concern for my content, her content, and minors in general. there is simply no need to twist it into her viciously looking down upon large blogs and their notes counts and claiming they’re “only because they don’t block minors.” admittedly, though, i do need to be better about catching minors, and i have always appreciated her trying to keep me in the habit of being responsible about it. more importantly, it was a small passing comment under a post of unpopular opinions, a lot of them were hot takes, and this is hardly a serious one to get so heated over. 

i’d also like to point out that anantaru has claimed we blocked them for being a gatekeeper and because we’re jealous of their notes. 💀. a) i am very grateful and very happy with the level of interaction i get on my writing, as more people than i imagine leave me countless comments and reblogs. i have never had an issue with comparing my interaction with that of other writers because i have always been abundantly content with the interaction i get. i have no other comment on this other than cat and i blocked anantaru at the same time because we happened to see a post of theirs reblogged onto our dash that made a joke that we felt was a bit insensitive to/alluded to SA—i’m sure it wasn’t meant to be taken that way, but it made us uncomfortable regardless. while we are both dark content supporters, and i myself have read more than one fic that includes noncon in particular, it doesn’t mean we have to like/enjoy everything related to it and we simply decided to block them. i’m not going to bring this post up bc it’s simply not important. they are an adult who is more than entitled to make jokes on their blog and cat and i do not have to like them !! we simply did what we were well within our rights to do, and that’s blocking them.

there’s more they go on to say about receiving hate asks and that apparently it’s because of our “group of friends.” cat and i don’t have a group of friends. i don’t have any group chats with her besides the one with her boyfriend because i get along with him sometimes as well, and we used to play genshin together a lot when i was in low ar. not that i have to explain my friendships here, but i quite literally do not have a group of people to “send after” anantaru because people are well aware of my close friends, who i text with my personal phone number. i’ve posted silly screenshots of convos on my blog multiple times, and none of these friends overlap because i do not have a “group” of friends, just individual friends who i talk to one on one. cat is not friends with my other friends, and my other friends are not friends with her. there are no inner circles that conspire together to send anyone hate because i “tell them to.” and if there are screenshots of me explicitly encouraging someone to send hate on anon, i would love to see it. if i had sent my anons after anantaru, it would have to be a public post, and i’m sure if there were a post of such nature, it would have been brought to light by now. they have also claimed they were given multiple urls of mine to block. i only have ONE writing blog, @/saetoru, and the only other two that are still up are archived blogs @/hanmine and @/katsuphilia, which are side blogs attached to saetoru and have been inactive for several months. there are however, multiple individuals on this app who also go by the name “tee,” and perhaps we have unfortunately been mixed up as the same person, but the only blog i have is saetoru, so there is no other active blog they have blocked me from that belonged to me and was able to harass them.

not only that, but anantaru has claimed that one person off anon sent them hate with a kaeya url which they insinuate to be me. once again, you are all more than aware of my history of urls, and many of you have all been here to see them. i’ve never once had a kaeya url, nor have i ever been particularly interested in kaeya outside of a small number of posts on a rare occasion. my genshin favorites have always been characters from sumeru and, at one point diluc, and once again i don’t have to ?? explain my selfships to you all ?? but literally, i have nothing to do with a kaeya blog or kaeya account, and im unsure why it’s being thrown into my name. quite frankly, i’m not sure  what their moot has told them we have said about them, but the only conversations cat and i have ever had about anantaru was that one about the noncon joke, and that’s it. outside of that, there is literally no evidence of us speaking about this person because it simply doesn’t exist. 

i implore you all to, instead of starting public discourse over things you hear, confirm them first. had anantaru reached out to me or cat and expressed that they are upset that we are supposedly spreading false rumors about them gatekeeping, then whatever misunderstanding it might have been could have been cleared. i would like to also point out that it is not above bullying when you simply dump numerous accusations that you have heard through half whispers from moots and provide 0 evidence for them. i am perfectly aware of why emmie may consider herself to have issues with me, but i have never had an encounter with anantaru, and truthfully, i’ve never actually even read their writing before. my main (and pretty much only) experience with them is seeing the joke i saw reblogged onto my dash, and as i stated earlier, the only thing i did for that was block and move one.

and lastly, the other point i’d like to make is that numerous blogs who i have been objectively very kind to have come out to take the opportunity to stomp on my character and reputation. for example, tumblr user @/osaemu, who used to follow me and interact with me quite often. i have always been excited to interact with her because she was really supportive of my gojo writing, and at one point, i had a small area of concern with her using the same exact title as me for a gojo fic. below are screenshots of our conversation regarding the titles.

i am quite confident that this is a very polite interaction, and i was very clear that i didn’t think that her writing elements, including gojo’s parent dynamics and his dynamics with the reader, were copied or even something that i felt she needed to change. i pointed them out as a way of indicating that between these parallels and between the fact that i know she reads my rb! gojo series, i find it difficult to believe that our fic titles being exactly the same is a coincidence, and it made me uncomfortable—my concern was not how she wrote gojo’s parents or his dynamic with reader. i never accused her of stealing ideas that were mine alone to use, all i simply wanted to do was shed light on the fact that based on these parallels, i figured the names being the same was a touch difficult for me to brush aside as a chance similarity. i was very clear to outline that i know these dynamics and themes in writing are generic, and that people can pull inspo from them because i have done the same thing. my only concern was the title, which i politely asked her to change, and she agreed. case closed. i have been, again objectively, quite kind to osaemu, and i had no intentions of blocking her like a moot had suggested because i felt it was a very silly issue to block over since she was very lovely to me. 

i did, however, block her because she posted one-paragraph posts with multiple characters tagged. that’s not a crime on her end, and i’m certainly not here to police her posts in the tags, but as me and plenty of other people on this app have voiced multiple times, it is a bit irritating and feels like spam to see posts of these kinds in the tags so i blocked her. this is a very popular opinion and i refuse to be considered problematic for it. i am not here to police what constitutes an appropriate post to tag x reader tags on, and while i have made posts simply sharing my opinion on what i feel should and should not be tagged, osaemu is more than welcome to post whatever she feels she would like to into the tags. i do, however, block anyone who i come across who makes those kinds of posts because i simply don’t like them, and i don’t like seeing them. i don’t owe an explanation for why i block anyone, but seeing as i have been painted as some bitch for doing so, here is my reasoning. quite a lot of people agree on this sentiment, and to each their own, but i don’t enjoy seeing those posts. i did also unblock her at one point, as she mentioned. this is simply because a mutual of mine had voiced that they felt someone had copied the concept of their drabble, and i was helping them word a message to send, so i went back to this exact conversation to look back on what i said because it was a similar situation. as you know, blocking someone hides their dms from your dm list, so i had intended to temporarily unblock her just to see how i worded my message to help formulate a message for a mutual. there were no screenshots sent, i simply wanted to jog my memory of my points, that’s all. i did forget to block her again for a bit but eventually did, and that’s the extent of our interactions. i don’t recall posts telling people that i condone sending anons with death threats like she has claimed, and if she could point out the particular posts i have made where i encourage people to send anon death threats on my behalf, i would be more than happy to clear them up, or address them. 

i have admittedly, on a few occasions said in my responses to anon hate itself, the phrase “kys” out of frustration, and there are i’m sure conflicting opinions on that, but i do not regularly use this phrase in my vocabulary. i have been on the receiving end of graphic sexual and violent asks in my inbox regarding me, my teenage sister, and my mother, during my time on here, and sometimes out of frustration i have said less than dignified things, but this is not a constant behavior, and frankly, i think once people make graphic, violent, and inappropriate comments about my 16 year old sister, saying “kys” in response is not the greater of the two evils. it is a tad bit hypocritical to expect benevolence from me to an anonymous hate ask just because there is “another person” at the end of the screen when they have not extended the same sentiment to me.  

all of that being said, jumping on the trend to trample on someone while you have the opportunity to because you’re bitter they blocked you is also no better than bullying. apart from blocking osaemu, I have taken careful steps to always be respectful to her due to the very kind comments she’s left on my writing. leaving nice comments on my writing is deeply appreciated and welcome, but that doesn’t mean i have to subject myself to seeing posts i do not want to see on my dash on my phone. i pay for the phone bill, so i will cater my phone to show me what i want to see, and if that includes blocking a few people, i am allowed to do that !! i should not have to apologize for or be crucified for blocking someone and their feelings being hurt over it. 

not only this, but several of you have somehow started a rumor that i am 26 or even pushing 30. that’s nowhere close to the truth. i’m 21, soon to be 22, and i have stated multiple times i am an undergraduate college student. of course, there is no timeline to college, and people of all ages complete their undergrad degrees, but i have made it a point to vent about my concerns numerous times that i am very stressed about taking extra classes every semester to compensate for changing my major late because i want to graduate on time. my graduation year is 2024 (as would make sense seeing as i will be 22 years old), and if you don’t believe me, i have celebrated my bday on april 12th of every year this blog has been active. you’re more than welcome to check my archive to see if that’s true, and for further reference, here is a picture i have sent to mods of servers i am in to be accepted. (note that my url used to be hanmas before saetoru.)

although there is no shame in being 26 or pushing 30, the reason why i wanted to address this is that i wanted to point out that yet another rumor has been fiercely pushed on my name and has been believed to be the truth. no one has to walk away from reading this post assuming that i’m a saint and i have never done anything wrong or that i have been faultless in differences i’ve had with other people. but a lot, if not all, of these claims are exaggerated with 0 evidence, and people have just run with claiming them as true. i physically cannot deny a large majority of these rumors with evidence or screenshots because half of them are made by people i have never interacted with or talked to, and i cannot produce evidence for interactions that never happened. i have seen blank, burner blogs post stories of their experiences with me, one in particular that claims i dm’d them to tell them their hanma fic was breathtaking before i harassed them about their theme, boyfriend, and parents. a) i do not dm anyone to compliment their fics because i am simply too shy to do that. i would have only reblogged the fic with comments if i enjoyed it. b) again, there is no evidence on their part, and i cannot dispel this story with evidence of my own because evidence of conversations that never took place does not exist. and c) i would like to think i do not come across as dense enough to attack someone in their dm’s viciously about their boyfriend and parents openly with my account, where they could easily spread the proof around if it had actually happened. i am not responsible for people’s internet literacy, and if people believe every story that is shared with not even a small piece of proof that it took place, i cannot do anything besides simply urge you all to formulate your opinions based on what you see, not based on what you hear. 

i would also like to end things off with an apology to all of you—mainly because there was no reason for so many of you to be dragged into something that did not involve you and also because there are very disturbing and important issues going on right now in real-time in the world that are affecting a lot of people. i never want to be involved in something that takes attention off of important discussions such as genocide, and while many of you like to claim i am deflecting, i think it is quite telling that some people have posted nothing about something this important but have made multiple posts regarding discourse. i did not feel it was appropriate at that time to focus on discourse, and i still do not think so, but i wanted to leave off with my own statement.

i would also like to apologize if i have ever come across as unkind during an experience with me; it is never my intention to be that way purposely. i have a habit of being petty sometimes and can be a bit short-tempered, and it’s something i work on. with as large of a following as i have, sometimes it’s better not to say anything at all than say it—however vaguely it might be. i hope some of you who also have larger followings keep that in mind so that you can avoid discourse erupting into something grand scale. please vent to people you trust and be wary of having a habit to subpost. but mainly, please remember that people trusting you with their feelings and troubles is not something you should take pride in spreading. there is nothing to be proud of about sharing people's private socials, urls, and conversations. while i am not always able to keep my temper under wraps, and while i have had my fair share of petty moments, i, to the best of my ability, have always made sure that i don’t come across as intentionally cruel or mean, nor have i purposely broken someone’s trust. sometimes i have retaliated back a bit fiercely, but i stand by the fact that i never purposely chased or drove anyone off, mocked or belittled them, or sent people over to dislike/hate them. i have at times vented to those who i believe are people i can trust, sure—but this is something we as people are all guilty of. there’s no way any of us can hold one person more accountable than others for partaking in closeted conversations that are never meant to get back to people and hurt them. 

i genuinely loved, and still love, writing very much, and i have always appreciated every ask, every reblog, and every comment. writing is a hobby i am greatly passionate about, and it’s always a hobby i was very excited to share with people on here because i don’t get to share it with people irl. i don’t willingly tell people irl that i enjoy making elaborate plots about anime characters, and i have always been very excited to share that hobby with you all, whether you are a reader or writer. i’ve read fanfiction for a very long time before i ever decided to try my hand at writing it, and i would never want to knock other people down simply because they “surpassed” me. i enjoy finding writers to read from, especially those who write better than me, because they are where i draw the most inspiration and motivation from. the moots i look up to most are moots who are in my opinion, far stronger writers than me, and moots who i always firmly believe deserve much more reach than i do on their stories because they’re far more fleshed out and in-depth than anything i can produce. and i am proud of them !! and even those of you who feel you are stuck not getting as much reach as you would hope, i am proud also of all of you for picking up a google doc or pen and writing and trying, whether you choose to share it or not. i will always strongly encourage you all to try your hand at writing if you have ever considered it because i have genuinely built such a better sense of self-esteem when being able to incorporate pieces of myself in my stories and express parts of who i am—i think some of you might really enjoy the catharsis that writing brings, and if you ever debate on trying it out, please do !! you might become really passionate about it. 

anyway, this post is abysmally long. none of it is to clear my name in hopes that i will be “un-canceled” (LOL) because i have decided saetoru is long overdue to be put to rest. i hope you can all, at the very least, allow other writers some peace and stop harassing them in their inboxes for knowing me (because that is also bullying and very ironic of you), and i hope you all got some sort of understanding of where i am coming from. if you think poorly of me, that’s okay. i have an opinion of myself, and the close people who surround me, that i am confident in, and while i may not have always handled things in the brightest of manners, i am well aware of what my intentions have always been. 

i’m deeply grateful to all 41k of you, and thank you for reading my works and allowing me to write for you !! thank you for all the very, very kind asks that i never got a chance to fully answer each one of, and thank you especially for all the supportive comments and love on the writing i’ve posted. they might be silly fics you read once and moved on from, but they’re all pieces of me, my life, and things that are important to me, and as cringe and cheesy as it sounds, it means quite literally everything to me when people read them and take away something from them. 

also, as a parting gift, i will be posting the nerd gojo, ex-convict geto, and a marriage rb! gojo fic to my ao3 (also saetoru) for those of you who have been patiently awaiting those wips to enjoy. please (a little more patiently) keep your eyes peeled for those <3 i will no longer be posting or active on saetoru, and in the event that i keep writing, it will be posted on my ao3, so you all will know where to find me !!

so for the last time, i love you my little runts !! wishing you all the best, and goodbye to my lil saetoru bestees. 

mwah !!

— tee <3

ps. i also have turned off reblogs for this post and limited replies to people i follow only. a lot of you will jump to say that it’s simply because i am “hiding,” but it is solely because i have said my piece and i intend to move on. thank you and have a lovely day shawtee ✌🏽

Sorry that this post is long but I would appreciate it if other white people read it and thought about it. I've been reading a lot of posts and the tags on them and I just want to make it very clear that this conversation isn't really about Ray getting 'attention' or his talent getting acknowledged. We should not be minimising this to “we need to acknowledge that Ray is an excellent guitar player” because everyone knows that, all you need is ears. True, it went largely unappreciated by fans at the height of mcr’s fame, but at least that's different now. What we're talking about now is about so much more than that - in fact, part of the problem is Ray getting reduced to nothing but the guy who shuts up and does the solos. We're talking about a pattern of behaviour that has been so deeply rooted in this fandom for so long that it's almost invisible to white people. It's a collective problem but it's perpetuated by individuals and needs to be addressed at an individual level first before it can begin to change.

I will acknowledge that, at least in my circles, things have started to change a little bit this tour in regards to people noticing him and discussing him beyond just his solos. But on the flipside that's only highlighted the larger issue, which boils down to how differently Ray is treated from the rest of the band. This is a consistent pattern. If he's not being ignored, he's behind separated out and set apart from the others - either being put on a weird pedestal or given suspiciously backhanded compliments.

Back in 2020 when I'd be lucky to see three posts about him a day on my dash I used to spend a lot of time scrolling through old inactive blogs to queue Ray pictures. Back in the pre-breakup days, if he wasn't being called "princess fro fro" he was being called ugly or he was the target of straight-up racial slurs. There was a weird narrative that he like, lowkey bullied Frank or took more credit than he deserved for mcr's guitar parts (which is painfully ridiculous and only proves that nobody paid attention to a single word Ray's ever said). Until very recently, the punchline of one of the main "jokes" (quotation marks because the word joke implies it was ever actually funny in the first place lol) in this fandom relied on Ray being at least casually homophobic. And these were blogs that posted Ray - I can only imagine how much worse the people who actively didn't like him would have been.

Nowadays, I post a lot of Ray content so I see a lot of tags from people outside my circle of mutuals. Let me tell you, there are Patterns. First of all, there's the classic "tags that completely ignore Ray to make the Ray post about Frank and/or Gerard instead." But more and more often what I'm seeing is if he's not being infantilised, he's being treated as some hyper-masculine, omni-competent, suave sex god or something - each of these things are equally reductive and dehumanising - and each of them are different manifestations of racist stereotypes and common fandom attitudes towards people of colour. Sure, Frank also gets weirdly infantilised a lot, but in a very different way - Frank is woobified in the way people often treat their fictional faves out of affection and horniness, whereas Ray is just reduced down to a personalityless nice guy - something that is also very common with fictional characters of colour. Then there are people who act like he's some kind of long-suffering untouchable genius who puts up with the little weirdos in his band because they worship his talent or something, as if he's not on equal footing with them as their peer and creative partner. And then you get the people characterising him as some kind of rough macho domineering dude because he's…tall? I guess? And plays guitar with confidence? Or is it just because he's brown.

I just..genuinely want you to sit down and think about a reason Ray might be singled out and separated from the rest of the band like this.

Is it because he's quiet in interviews? Mikey was always quieter. Also, Ray has done a lot more interviews than you think, they just haven't been circulated by fans as much. Also, he's literally the second-most featured band member in lotms - you know, the almost sole source for their fandom-driven personalities back in the day.

Is it because he's less feminine than the others? Both Mikey and Frank regularly present as more traditionally masculine in their fashion choices and mannerisms etc. The only thing “more masculine” about Ray than the others is...his body type I guess. There’s a whole conversation there about the intersection of gender and race and racist perceptions thereof.

Is it because he's private and keeps out of the public eye? So does Gerard.

Is it because people historically found him less attractive than the others? I shouldn't have to explain that that was the racism all along (yes, I know there's no accounting for taste, but Ray was regularly and actively mocked for his non-white features, and noughties beauty standards, especially in the alt music scene, were overwhelmingly white and racist. I regularly get tags to the effect of "when did Ray get so hot???" and honestly it's pretty telling that he's only widely acknowledged as attractive now that he's lost weight (whole other important discussion on fatphobia in this fandom here btw) and his hair has changed texture and beauty standards have shifted so certain racial features are fetishised rather than mocked.

Is it because he wasn't involved in one of the iconic bandom boylove duos? News flash, all "ships" are made up fan theories. Rpf and/or tinhatting is based on what fans notice and what rumours they perpetuate. Besides them kissing on stage a few times to make a point over 15 years ago, you know frerard lore because people talk about frerard lore. You know petekey lore because people talk about petekey lore. The truth is nobody cared enough to pay attention to Ray back then. (To be clear, this isn't me trying to tinhat anything about him, I'm just once again pointing out the obvious disparity in how Ray is treated compared to the others.)

I consistently see people acting baffled at how he's been behaving this tour - skipping or bouncing around the stage, eating his solos up, being physically affectionate with his bandmates. I can tell you he has literally always acted like that. Sure, this tour is special - he's certainly a lot more confident than he used to be and seems happier than ever, but really the biggest thing that's changed is now we get full footage of every show so it's literally impossible to overlook.

I also see people acting baffled when others point out the way Ray's been mistreated by fandom - being shocked that anyone would crop Ray out of band photos etc. I guarantee you that almost every single one of you has reblogged pictures where he's been actively cropped out, because some of the most iconic Frank-and-Gerard pictures that constantly get passed around on here are just that. "But how would we know" - sure, it's not your fault, but it's a small example of the way the more blatant Ray erasure from the past gets passed down to new fans and perpetuated by them unknowingly in turn. Cropping him out of pictures is just the tip of the iceberg in terms of how his talent and personality and significance to the emotional heart of the band has been overlooked. I can't tell you how many iconic well-known quotes from interviews or paragraphs from Not the Life it Seems directly precede facts about/quotes from Ray that nobody seems to have heard.

So again, this is not really a popularity thing - it's hard to measure but I'd say in the past few months Ray's overtaken Mikey in terms of mass popularity, at least on tumblr. You don't need to performatively post once a day about how Ray Toro Is God or how much you want him to rail you or how much you want him to rail your white fave because "he's the only one who can top" (you Realise how this sounds right?). I'm just asking you to confront your internalised biases and the external biases ingrained in the culture and history of this fandom, and start treating Ray the same way you treat the rest of the guys. He's not an untouchable god and he's not a sunshine cupcake, he's just Some Guy who's really fucking good at guitar. He's a proud stay at home dad, he's cringe as fuck, he loves to cook, he listens to podcasts about fucking Apple products for fun, he writes (very) shitty poetry, he takes his sons to women's rights marches, he invests in bitcoin, he cries when his mom sends him postcards, he drives a douchey car, he loves children's cartoons, he's a corny liberal just like the others, he loves his friends wholly and openly. Just…please acknowledge the history of racism in this fandom, think about how you as an individual might knowingly or unknowingly perpetuate it, and try to do better. And please just treat him like a human.

Nuance in (The Sandman) Fandom

Send me asks about everything Sandman-related!

I thought a lot over the past few days, partly prompted by discourse on here, partly due to a couple of “interesting” asks and messages I received (the type you don’t answer). I *think* they might have been prompted by engaging in discourse on topics like anti-blackness/racism, misogyny/sexism, TERF characters etc in The Sandman.

Fandoms are always getting super sensitive if someone shines a critical lens on their favourite works, authors and characters. So to make this clear (in case it isn’t already obvious from my brain-rot blog):

I love The Sandman. I love Neil Gaiman. I have an extremely soft spot for Dream (and Desire btw, who deserves a lot more character analysis than just being summed up as “villainous, sexy bitch”. One day, perhaps ;)).

I can read The Sandman and just get lost in the story, even after decades and many rereads. 

But I can also view it through a critical lens—these things aren’t mutually exclusive.

Not critical enough or too critical?

As fans, we can get trapped in certain thinking patterns, like:

“My blorbo can do no wrong”-syndrome 

“Characters with flaws are inherently problematic and imply authorial endorsement of those actions” 

“Characterisation and problematic subtext are one and the same” (aka overanalysing and looking for problems where there are none is the death of every story, but failing to see problematic patterns where they are clearly visible is a problem, too).

Don't say anything bad about my favourite character

I think this doesn’t need much further exploration. It’s not my personal way of looking at stories through permanently rose-tinted glasses (I always feel it stalls my experience, but my experience is not everyone else's). Some people prefer that type of escapism, and I’m good with that (although the downside is of course that by not willing to engage with issues, we can unwillingly perpetuate them). Live and let live, ship and let sail. But please, for the love of god: Don’t insult people via their inboxes or messages just because their opinions and preferences don’t align with yours. I’m not going to sugarcoat it or phrase it “nicely”: It’s infantile (and a form of bullying btw), end of.

How can you even like a character who's so horrible? And that author must be equally horrible, too

We have to separate flawed characters, even those who are written to be really problematic, from real-life endorsement of these actions. 

Author, narrator and character are three fundamentally different things, and don’t overlap as much as some people seem to think. 

We can write vile, despicable characters to make a point (for me, Thessaly was always a prime example for this, and I explained why here). We probably hate them as we write them. I don’t know what else to say, but this facet of writing seems to get more and more lost on people, and it’s a worry. Crying for sanitised characterisation is one step away from censorship. We explore what is problematic about people and humanity through story. That’s how we process and learn. It’s nothing new, but it becomes impossible if we can’t write flawed and even disgusting characters. 

Face value…

Since I’m mostly in The Sandman fandom, I often read that its ending is hopeless, and that’s supposedly the entire message. 

It is agonisingly sad, yes. But is it truly hopeless? I personally see it as quite the opposite, but of course that’s my opinion, coloured by my life experiences.

I also get that show-only fans often haven’t read the comics, or at least not the whole arc. And as such, their outlook from what they’ve seen so far (and choose to focus on) has to be different by default. I also understand that many people are quite new to the comics, even if they have read them in their entirety. I’ve sat with them for 30 years, and I still find new things on every reread (and I read it more times than anyone should 🙈), and I still don’t feel like I’ve understood it all. Perhaps because I still haven’t fully understood myself (and it’s unlikely I ever will). If there’s one thing The Sandman isn’t, it’s one-dimensional and easy to grasp in its whole depth.

I just wrote a ginormous meta on it, if you’re interested, it’s here:

Subtext, (not so) glorious subtext

This is where it gets complicated:

We shouldn’t mix up characterisation and story subtext. Overanalysing every line to death will always make us find something that’s “problematic”, when it really isn’t in the wider context of the story.

Zooming in is NOT always a good thing. Sometimes, we actually need to zoom out. 

But subtext *can be* (accidentally) problematic. Even in stories we love. And none of this negates what I previously wrote.

Stories have real-life implications of sorts, and we need to be able to talk about it. That’s where those slightly flabbergasting, hostile inbox messages come in, and I want to expand on that "topic of contention" a bit:

Neil himself confirmed that the Endless basically warp reality, and that this is why, after Dream’s failed relationship with Nada, many black women in his vicinity suffer terrible fates (Ruby and Carla in particular). And that this spell is only broken when he dies, and that it is the reason why Gwen doesn’t suffer the same fate. And said Gwen then gets used as a plot device to basically absolve Hob (who canonically really is a problematic character, whether show-only fans like it or not) from his slaver past. Once again, very clearly: No one is making this up. Neil confirmed it (for the comics, and that was over 20 years ago. It remains to be seen if his stance has changed as we move into that arc in the TV show).

I don't think it is correct to imply that Dream as a character is racist (I've read that, too) because he logically can’t be. He holds *all* the collective unconscious. He is also, strictly speaking, not white. He is everything and nothing, and he shows up in many different ethnicities throughout the whole arc, depending on who looks at him. But Neil played with a subtext here (reality warping due to a bad relationship which then affects everyone with similar physical traits) that will read very differently to a black person than it reads to a white person, and we have to understand why that is an *extremely* slippery slope.

Plus, we are supposed to see Hob, who *was* a racist at some point (you can’t not be if you’re a slave-trader—it’s impossible by default) as redeemed. And yes, he *does* regret deeply, good for him (and if I were saying this aloud, you would hear the sarcasm in my voice, because it is indeed all about him. We are to sympathise/empathise with him and his character growth while there isn’t much mention of the people he maltreated). But also: it was a black woman who basically forgave him (with dialogue that personally makes me cringe). And that black woman who offers forgiveness is not truly a black woman—she is a character written by a white man. And as much as author and character are not the same (see above), there is an inherent sensitivity in that power imbalance that we can't brush under the carpet.

I don’t think Neil is racist. Probably quite the opposite, and I can even see that his intentions were good from a storytelling point of view. BUT intention and impact are two fundamentally different things, and telling the story this way (comic version) betrays blindspots only white people have. Just like women have blindspots when they tell stories about men, and men have blindspots when they tell stories about women (and there are a few of those in The Sandman, too). And and and…

As storytellers, we can’t always speak from lived experience. It’s impossible. And that also means we occasionally make mistakes that look bad in hindsight, even if our intentions were good.

I guess the proof is in the pudding: What do we do when people who *have* that lived experience tell us it looks bad? If they inform us why it is hurtful, plays into old stereotypes etc?

Are we willing to listen and yield (both are the foundations of allyship btw), or are we insisting that our viewpoint as someone *without* lived experience is right? That lived experience extends to all lived experiences (sex/gender, sexual orientation, age...), and from all we’ve heard from Neil so far, it seems important to him to rewrite what he sees differently today. Whether they’ll always get it right for the show—we’ll see. At the moment, it looks a lot better than in the comics, and certain issues are already being handled with a lot more sensitivity, but a few problems remain.

Pushing back on criticism that comes from people with lived experience is problematic—I’d encourage us to think about what it looks like if a white majority in the fandom is basically saying that the opinions of POC are essentially “overreactions” (and yes, that happened).

It’s complicated. The Sandman was written in a different time, and I think we have to distinguish between things that weren’t really problematic at the time but have aged poorly (again, Thessaly springs to mind, and I have lived experience as a queer person during that time, so I can see it in context while at the same time acknowledging that I would make changes to bring it to the present day), and things that were always a problem due to blindspots. They were a problem in 1990, and if they don’t get changed, they are still a problem today.

This fandom is generally so much more open and nicer than others I know. But that doesn’t mean it’s infallible, because it’s full of humans. 

Nuance is sorely needed, in both story interpretation and interaction between said humans.

Hi! I'm TL, and I do agere/petre art requests! You can find my queue and open status on my header! Please read the rules below, thank you! It helps to reblog this to spread it around :D

you must obey the dni of this account. especially please do not request or reblog if you are k!nk, nsfw, generally not safe for kids. you will be blocked.

If reqs are closed, you may DM me and ask me to send you a message/heads up when I re-open then!

please be kind when asking :) these are not commissions, i am not required to do them!

if your request is something i’m not comfortable with doing, i’ll priv answer so you have the option of sending another if you’d like! (this is easiest to do if you're not on anon/you leave an @ of your sideblog! If it's a nameless anon, it's likely to just be deleted, sorry ^^'

please put separate requests in separate asks! IE: if you ask for Character from Fandom A and character from Fandon B, please send two asks! (Unless you want them together which is fine :P)

not a rule but feel free to give suggestions! IE: “Can you draw character with a green paci” or “can you draw character as a fox pet-regressor?” or “can you draw character and character as cg + regressor?” "character in a dip" (just make sure to specify who is who!) Honestly, detail helps a lot with being able to draw and do the req!! (NEW 4/28) I will draw stuff like characters being upset, crying, ect. I'll draw characters in dips but atm i'm not necessarily comfortable drawing accidents themselves (unfortunately, i had a problem with one post i made + deleted being basically immediately snapped up by unsavory blogs ): so)

I’d prefer to not draw your persona/sona/ect! I don’t mind drawing in a “blank/YN” type character, but I no longer would like to draw personas/sonas/ect. Sorry! (NOTE: THIS IS EXEMPT FOR FRIENDS/MUTUALS LET ME DRAW YOUR AGERE OCS/INSERT SO BAD)

Requests may take a while! I work 30-40 hrs a week on top of being a full time student. I might get it done immediately, it might get done in three months or longer. Usually I do them in order, but not always! If you come into my inbox and repeatedly ask abt it (esp if ur rude) i will delete it. and i will block you.

FANDOMS I'LL DO

Bluey, MCYT (characters ONLY. *), Star Trek, Pokemon, FNAF, Warrior Cats, Nintendo, Disney - Honestly, it's best to just ask! As long as the media isn't primarily NSFW in the 18+ way, I probably don't mind!

*Will not do dsmp at this time. May do people related to DSMP (ie philza for ex [i think? i dont know the people of that group]) but i will not do: Wilbur/soot or d/ream.

FANDOMS I WON'T DO

Harry Potter, Hetalia, IRL People (as in the Content Creator - see below for more detail), Attack on Titan, Hazbin Hotel/Helluva Boss, Country humans/Country balls/Anything based off the countries, TBA

ABOUT IRL PEOPLE

Will do: MCYT for example! Because my design is based off their MC skin. It's like actors v their characters if that makes sense Won't do: Things like Sanders Side or Marki/plier ego stuff, because it's like. there's nothing there for referencing other than the literal person. idk its hard to explain TLDR: thats just my comfort level sorry ^^''

Hiiii I’m so happy I got so many nice asks yesterday!!! 🥺🥺 I’m very grateful you’re all so supportive of how I felt last night!! though there is a misunderstanding;;; I’ve gotten a lot of “you’re a TF blog again hurray!” kinds of messages (I am not!), I’ve gotten some art requests for TF characters (I cannot do them!), I’ve been followed by a handful of TF blogs somehow even though I haven’t even put anything into the main tags whatsoever (how did you find me???) LOL

My “I feel missed by Bee and Megatr/n” yesterday was a temporary few hours. I’m not back into TF at all whatsoever and I never will be a TF blog again. I still want TF as far away from me as possible for now. The characters are still triggers, I’m just working on reclaiming them and I happened to have a decent few hours with it yesterday ☠️

A lot of ppl in my inbox are like “oh you’re a TF blog again!” noooo bro that will never happen again. I assume anyone who is into TF knows my abuser bc she’s so active in that fandom, and I don’t want anyone who knows her coming near me. Detaching myself completely from the fandom is the best thing I can do just for my own safety (Of course this doesn’t apply to the few TF mutuals I have who I am friends with and trust)

Or maybe 5 years from now I will be fine, who knows! I think someday I might be able to write love notes for TF again but ofc they’d be untagged. Or any self shipping art I make might be untagged, or maybe on a separate blog with the inbox/notifications/dms all turned off completely. I felt so good yesterday I honestly am starting to believe I can totally reclaim these characters if I keep working at it! But like I said, I’m not a TF blog anymore, I’m sorry :( but hopefully I will get to a point where I can gush about them and feel good with them again!

Right now I feel Nothing for Ryan characters (I’m so burnt out it’s unbelievable 😭). I’ve tried thinking about Ken or Driver or anyone, and it’s just not happening. And I’m still jittery when I see TF characters so ah, I’m just gonna get thru the next few days w/ these hell shifts and see what happens!

relating to that vent, i getchu so bad. i feel like in general, the internet might worsen compulsions & obsession within ocd + etc. i have a similar feeling (wouldnt say identical cause i know u from tumblr n yaknow yaknow) that tells me everything i do needs to be 100% morally correct or [insert awful things] will happen to me or someone i love. and this is easier to deal with when you're offline, because there's a limit on the people that can get mad at you. half of the world won't get mad at you because only 0.00001% (or whatever) of the world knows you, yaknow. on the net, it feels like everyone who has an account knows you. your brain telly you anyone who has an account on here might see what you posted & they might be mad at you & they might make a callout post or whatever. even though they don't know you. which is a terrifying thought for many. i dont think youre alone in this, genuinely. and i feel it can be improved. some stuff that's helped me: - making separate accounts w private stuff (doesnt rly work on tumblr but like a private account on insta & etc etc) - rationalising thoughts (an example of this would be thinking: is it really likely many people will agree with someone being mad at me? or: how many people actually do see my posts? is that proportional to the amount of followers i have) - and talking ab it w friends. genuinely, the communication + processing of these thoughts & feelings is soo helpful. sending u soo much love <3 if u wanna chat a bit ab it you can dm me :) (ask can be published or responded 2 privately, whatever u prefer!)

Thank you so much for this message omg :’) ❤️❤️❤️❤️ So thoughtful. This made me tear up a little haha. I’m posting it here so I can look back at it later; hopefully that’s okay.

I’m really glad to hear other people feel the same way/have the same worry… like logically I know that it’s something a lot of people worry about, but idk; my brain has a way of convincing me I am the only person in the world who has done anything ‘bad’ ever LMAOO. So this was really nice to hear

Also I’m a very talkative person! Like I’m definitely an introvert, but I do like to talk about myself and my interests and my feelings etc. Especially when I have a forum (cough Tumblr) to post into the void 😭😭 So I guess that’s part of my issue; IRL, there are less people to be upset if I do/say something ‘bad’, and most of them are my close friends and know I don’t have bad intentions. But online, I walk on eggshells bc 1) strangers online DON’T know my intentions and 2) I just think my mutuals are really cool lol. So I don’t want to do/say anything ‘bad’ or even embarrassing in their presence yk? And online, their ‘presence’ comprises literally all the time w everything I post

I should probably make a more private account 😅 This one is kind of that (just bc it has far fewer followers than my other blog), and I have one on Instagram with like two people following it that I haven’t touched in a while, sooo maybe I will go back to that for more personal vents and whatnot 🫡 I try not to post anything TOO personal on Tumblr, anyway. I just also really like creating fan content, which sort of inherently puts me in a public space even if I don’t WANT to have an ‘audience’ (regardless of how small that audience is; ik there are people who look up to my writing, and that puts a lot of extra pressure on me, but I don’t want to stop writing, either…. Agh)

Idk this is probably overly personal and also very disjointed bc I just finished writing a 1,800 word essay and my brain is mush lol. I’m just sort of reiterating everything you said. Sorry for making you read all this lmao 😭🙏 But thank you for the kind words, seriously ❤️ I really really appreciate it :’D !!!!!!!

think i’m gonna retire the anons cuz the pfp thingy is isn’t clawdeen 😒 never letting go of my baby tho i luv this lil guy 🦦

i also had a lil question!! ik you run multiple blogs and i’m thinking about it too but tumblr is still fairly confusing and like. yeah. is having multiple blogs all funsies and stuff or am i gonna stress myself out

there’s a bit of a learning curve to it bc you have different activity tabs for each blog, and you have the option to flip through them. whichever one you’re on will have different messages, too, and switching to a different activity tab doesn’t automatically switch the blogs. like if i’m on orchidsangel and i go to the activity tab, it might be on ivysangel bc i was checking that previously. idek if that makes sense, but it’s a little confusing at first.

also, you can only check who you follow from your main blog, and if you’re mutuals with someone on a side blog, as in your main blog follows them and they follow your side blog, they’ll only show up as mutuals in the activity tab of your side blog but not your following section. but u can only see who you’re mutuals with in your following section on desktop anyway.

i like having multiple blogs to keep stuff separate!! i could honestly put them all on the same blog bc they’re really not that different from each other but idk it’s just a personal preference. i will say the only thing that gets frustrating is when i just wanna “live tweet,” but i don’t know which blog to do it on.

idk i just think it’s really fun for me, at least! i would back up any pieces you put on side blogs, though, just in case you choose to delete them.

꘏ General ꘏

About

This blog (mainly) creates and also interacts with dark content. I place warnings for all my content, so proceed at your own risk.

we are very very multifandom here. i hyperfixate a lot, and my adhd is sitting proudly at the wheel. whatever character my brain chooses for the day is usually how it goes. characters I write for are linked in my masterlist even if I haven't put anything out for them yet. I add as I go

I’ll be real and say that I frequently dip away from tumblr for a couple days rather often; I have a low social battery that drains even when I’m shitposting to no one in particular. But I love to chat so don’t hesitate to send an ask, I’ll get back to them next time I’m online :)

DNI’s 

My content is not suited nor intended for minors. 18 and up please and thank you. If you don’t have an age marked somewhere visible I will block. “18+” “adult” “legal” etc are not acceptable and will result in a block.

Blank blogs annoy the piss out of me but I'm too lazy to block them all so just have an age listed okay.

do not interact with my content (reblogs especially) if your own blog rules are not 18+. If i see 17+ or similiar, that makes me uncomfortable.

no dc anti’s (if you know how to scroll past, this doesn't include you) hate will be ignored. if you don’t like my content, the stuff i reblog, or the things i say, just block me or unfollow. 

if you ask for part 2s. it’s a rude thing to do in general. 

Rules and Asks

I typically answer all my asks, I don't ignore people so if I'm taking awhile to respond it's either because i havent seen it or I'm thinking on a response. However, if I think an ask is worded in a way that would make others or myself uncomfortable, check my return to sender tag. I'll probably have made a post with a response without directly posting the ask itself.

I do need a listed age to feel comfortable responding! Please no trauma dumping. And I'm awful at writing comfort so pls no "what would Chara do" h/c situation asks 🥲 I'm bad at them. Awful. The result of my attempt would somehow make your day worse. For your own mental health just pls do not lol.

I'm down with being called bb/babes,girl by just about anyone. But bitch/bestie/love are reserved for mutuals and discord friends, those are very important terms of endearment for me and it feels off getting them from people I don't know.

If you send me compliments about my writing we’re valentines. this isn’t even my own rule, this is cosmic law. 

Writing Info

I write every day, but I write and post at my own pace, the pace my irl life allows. If something is listed in my wips, I’m working on it so please don’t demand content from me.

The stuff I write is usually explicit, and even when it’s not has mature, dark, or unsettling natures to it. Not every fic will include these topics but beware they may contain incest, a/b/o, monsterfucking, horror, yandere etc. Here’s a little link to give you an idea on more, listing them can get tedious so i keep it separate and update it as I go.

I don’t do requests (commissions aside) but if you want to tell me your thoughts on a character, or maybe put them in a messy little situation, it might spark something in my mind and a little something might come of it, you never know ;3

what do i not write... hm. scat. vore. the Obvious. Other than that this is a really tough Q bc my mood switches up a lot. Sometimes I go on a single trope spree, other days I will write criminal level fluff in one hour and shiver inducing dark alley shit in the next. I have so much range, please expect me to use it.

So some quick bad news about this account…

I’m done with writing for this fandom. As much as I love Twisted Wonderland and writing silly drabbles and headcanons, I’ve just sort of. Fallen out of it over time and anytime I try to write anything for Twst, I just can’t think of anything and I don’t have the motivation for it. I’m into other things/hyperfixations now too and I might try writing for those instead!

I won’t delete this account!! I’ll still leave my writings up for others to see, I just won’t be active on this account writing-wise anymore. I’ll still be active via dms and random reblogs of content I find on Tumblr, though! If I ever make a separate writing account for other fandoms I’m in too, I’ll post it here!

So starting now, my café is permanently closed and will no longer be taking orders and requests. It was fun while it lasted and I’m glad I made friends and mutuals through this writing blog!

⚖️

⚖️ for something stuck in limbo.

This is something faaaar less lore related and very much blog related but eeeeeeeh haven’t pulled the trigger yet. sinday sideblog discussion under the cut, nothing in detail! just talking about making one:

I’m currently debating on a sinday sideblog, this shouldn’t be shocking news since the possibility is mentioned in my guidelines, but I’m thinking about moving EVERYTHING mature over there such as headcanons and discussions (not just possible threads). Obv jokes are not included, this blog is still very much a 🔞 zone!

Originally I didn’t see a major need for it since 1. my blog my rules and 2. It’s not something that pops up a lot for me naturally (aro/ace representation lets gooooo!!!)— I treat mature things like how a scientist treats little lab rats in a maze. It’s fascinating and I think those facets are neat and i wanna explore them on occasion.

But I also realize I chicken out on discussing those facets on this blog— So! In short— all mature content might get organized into a future sideblog! That way it’ll further separate that sort of stuff from any mutuals who really rather not see/engage with that (which i get completely)

will you continue with the blog when neymessi separates or will you change the theme?

Oof what a loaded question lol. Tbh I’ve met so many amazing people through here, and I honestly really like (soccer/football) now outside of just neymessi, that I find it really hard that I would stop the blog. Maybe there’s a chance I would be a bit less active on it, but definitely not gotten rid of altogether.

The theme might change a little bit, because I’ll probably watch whatever team Leo plays for and Ney separately and then post about them. And I’m kinda interested in other teams so there’s a potential for it to be multi fandom. But even then I feel like it would still be mainly centered on Neymar and Leo. So like multi fandom but majority of it would still be Leo and Neymar. Idk. I think it also depends on what other mutuals I make in the coming months 🤷‍♀️

But that’s not to say that there won’t be future neymessi stuff popping up if they don’t play for the same club anymore! For instance:

1) well this is a bad example LOL but if they play on the same team then duh I’m in and I’m gonna post them for the next couple years I have with them

2) they could play in the same league and then we get 2 matches of them (maybe if they live in close enough cities they could ac hang out or something and post it??? idk that’s wishful thinking lol)

3) potential CL playing against each other

4) Copa America!!

5) idk maybe they’ll be cute bfs and go visit each other or something 🙄🙄

But honestly this is a very good question and one that I guess I’ll figure out later on?? It’s hard since PSG’s season is over about a month earlier than other leagues, so that gives a few months of time where nothing is going on (unless there are friendlies or things like that) in the soccer/football world.

I feel like I expect this blog to go in a direction that is still centered on Neymar and Leo, but maybe more so individual than collective if they’re separated?? (simply because I have no idea when I’ll run out of photos/clips of them together). As long as I have stuff in my camera roll (even if that’s legit months from now lol) then I’ll still post them. I didn’t do all this investigating for nothing 🙄🙄

But if I ever do find a neymessi moment after I think I’ve found all there is of them, best believe I’ll post it.

I’m a neymessi stan for life 😙😙

Hope this answers your question anon!!

I know your a really big Mor fan which might contribute to your bias towards her but I personally don’t like her. Her attitude and written presence as “a dreamer in the court of night mares” sets her up as a token “I’m not like other girls”

For all the power she has written to have, we don’t see it. What is the purpose of her character? One would think she was meant to be an advocate for women but she hasn’t done anything for the women in the court of night mares. The book makes her seem other, but the book also tells us that she wasn’t the only one struggling. She was just the only one who had Rhysand as a cousin.

She is also incredibly ignorant with her racists comments about Illyrians and her willful blindness about what the women suffer with over there. Out of everyone, she should know what it’s like. Which is one of the many reasons why I hope she doesn’t end up with emerie, she doesn’t deserve her.

I don’t think Emerie would appreciate how she treated Nesta either. She was a bitch, who saw someone who was centuries younger than her and who was already breaking and thought to compare her to her abusers who nailed her and left her for dead. Told her that she doesn’t deserve the kindness and patience shown to her by others. I lost all my respect for her at that point tbh. For all her grandstanding about truth, she couldn’t be more wrong.

And her issue with Nesta over Cassian and how she might take him from her and further complicate her Az situation is sad. Nesta’s only interaction with her was that dress situation. But then Mor comes out of nowhere and says she mistreats Cassian…when all their supposed “fights” are offscreen? When the book even describes their tension as “mutual”? When literally nobody else seems to interfere in the same degree as her? When Nesta genuinely asks if he’s okay in the war and Mor lashes out?

I disagree with your comment that Nesta treated her court poorly. Yeah she didn’t like them but they were Fae and generations of mistrust doesn’t change that overnight. Feyre is a testament to that because it took her time to see the Fae differently too. Yet despite that, Nesta was friends with Amren and neutral with Az. Nesta and Rhysand barely even interacted in the trilogy and it wasn’t until ACOSF where we are told she hates him. And how he seems to relish her fear of him. And he’s definitely given her a reason to. So who exactly did she irrevocably hurt?

This was long but I actually had time today to rant a bit.

I was going to delete this ask because you came off kinda rude, decided to rant about a character you know I like, and I'm honestly not sure what you wanted to get from this because there isn't a question. There's no way I'm going to agree with you here, and I think you know that, so this all seems like it would be better done as a post on your own blog. I suppose I appreciate that you sent this to me rather than vaguing me? But then I thought, well some of the things you said are inaccurate, so... I'll clear those things up.

your bias

First off, this. Bias? This is a fandom. Am I biased because I like elucien more than I like nessian? Are you biased because you clearly prefer Nesta over Mor? If I write a fanfic for elucien, but then don't write separate versions for feysand and nessian, am I biased? If an artist does a series of drawings for certain pairings and not others, are they biased? lol no. There is no need for objectivity in fandom. We all like what we like and there's really nothing that deep about it. No one has to be "fair" in this space. Otherwise everything would be neutral and that would be really boring. We all have our preferences, and that's... okay! "Bias" has a negative connotation, and there is no need for a negative connotation in fandom spaces where it's all different strokes for different folks.

Were you trying to insinuate that you, because you like Nesta, are like... better than I am? Or more objective than I am? Because uh... I got some quotes from the book for you.

Her attitude and written presence as “a dreamer in the court of night mares” sets her up as a token “I’m not like other girls”

So I disagree with this because the whole "I'm not like other girls" is an inherently gendered phenomenon. It's a way for women to put one another down, and Mor literally doesn't do that in a gendered way. Mor being different from her family/the CoN has nothing to do with her gender, and everything to do with their cruelty versus her strength and optimism.

Did we all collectively forget the fact that the library, you know, where all the priestesses and other victims of sexual assault trauma go to heal, that's Mor's thing? Rhys started the library as a refuge for women, and Mor brings women there to heal. All the time. She brought Clotho there, and Gwyn, and countless others. I keep seeing people say that Mor doesn't help other women, and I'm sorry but 1) since when is she the High Lady that that responsibility is laid at her feet, and 2) she.... she literally does help other women???

She is also incredibly ignorant with her racists comments about Illyrians and her willful blindness about what the women suffer with over there.

This is factually untrue. She comments on the Illyrians *because* of what they do to women. That's... why all the characters talk about Illyrians in the way that they do.

Here is how other characters talk about Illyrians:

Eris in acosf: "the one the Illyrian brutes call Ramiel."

Nesta in acosf, yes she is guilty of this too: “Because Illyrians are backward and horrible.”

Amren in acomaf: “They’re barbarians,” Amren said, and neither Illyrian male objected.

Rhys in acomaf: “[Illyrians] are also brutal and backward, particularly in regard to how they treat their females.”

Azriel: they both knew Azriel would sooner disband and destroy Illyria than help it. Convincing their brother that the Illyrians were a people worth saving was still a battle amongst the three of them.

So why this special energy for Mor?

The real issue is how SJM has written the Illyrians. She's got the characters in a catch 22 because either they say shit that is racist (and as you can see above, pretty much everyone does), or they give Illyrians a pass for how they treat women. SJM is at fault here for writing a sexist as hell culture peopled by non-white characters. Do the characters talk poorly about them? Yeah. That's not unique to Mor, though. It has nothing to do with her character, and everything to do with how SJM has written the Illyrians.

Re: Emerie, they were clearly written to have interest between them and we are 95% sure Mor is getting a book, so I doubt it. I don't need all my friends to like/hate the same people that I like/hate, and I doubt Emerie would either.

And the whole Cassian thing, I just... don't care. I don't have the energy to care. It's over, it's done, Mor helped Nesta learn the dance for the CoN, they're over it and I'm over it.

compare her to her abusers who nailed her and left her for dead.

I do keep seeing this though, and no? Mor was not abused by the entirety of the Court of Nightmares, she was abused by her family, mainly her father. Mor did not compare Nesta to her father. And sorry, but I'm going to keep saying this - Nesta did fucking great in the CoN. She was badass and got Eris on the hook that night. Mor was right. Remember how out of place Elain looks? Nesta fit right in. And again, that's not Mor saying that Nesta is like her abusers, because the CoN did not abuse Mor, her family did. But the CoN is a cutthroat place and Nesta thrived.

I disagree with your comment that Nesta treated her court poorly. Yeah she didn’t like them but they were Fae and generations of mistrust doesn’t change that overnight. Feyre is a testament to that because it took her time to see the Fae differently too.

While the part about humans and fae's attitudes towards one another is true, the key word here is "behavior".

At what point was Feyre (or Elain) intentionally cruel to any of the fae just for being fae? That was a choice Nesta made, to be on the offense. Yeah there were a lot of feelings there and they were pretty much justified because of history, but she didn't have to be cruel to a group of fae who were trying to welcome her, who she knew had helped her sister, who had lifted them out of poverty. Nesta being cruel was a choice, and in acosf we know that it's a choice she frequently regrets! So I'm not sure why we would want to erase that from her character. The story isn't "Nesta was sad and everyone was mean to her because of it." The woman gave better than she got.

The whole thing about Mor's role in the story, I have complained about this myself, but that doesn't make her a bad character, it makes SJM an annoying writer for just sidelining characters all the time. "What's her purpose" well ask SJM? She hasn't made it clear what Mor's powers are, but that doesn't make Mor a bad character, it makes sjm a sometimes lazy writer. Again, it seems like the things you have an issue with aren't Mor as a character, but sjm phoning some of this shit in.

I'm never going to like Nesta as a person. I think she's a super interesting and complex character, but I like other characters way more than I like her, including Mor. Everyone is free to enjoy whichever characters they like, that's great. But I think that stepping away from the fandom kool-aid and rereading the scenes from the books is helpful sometimes. Or don't, because most of the time we just like the characters we like and we don't have to justify it.

Intro :] (updated around every month ^^)

Interests:

I am largely fixated on Sonic the Hedgehog, so that’s what you’ll see most on my main blog (this one).

My other interests here include: Splatoon, everything Spider-Man and Spider-Verse, Kirby, My Little Pony (Gen 4), Super Mario, the Legend of Zelda, Pokémon (mostly just team rocket), various other random console games, and Pikmin.

All of these fandoms can be found in my featured tags, as well as other types of tags. (<- these are primarily for me, so some don’t make a lotta sense on the outside lol.)

I’ve also got separate side blogs for random interests that breached containment, like (in order of oldest to newest):

✩ stimming gifs, sounds/music, stim boards, web resources, etc -> @stimmii

✩ rottmnt -> @iheartrise

✩ nimona (the movie) -> @nimonablogheckyeah

✩ the amazing digital circus -> @iheartdigitalcircuses

✩ helluva boss -> @ihearthelluva

Stuff to note (BYF section):

~I curse. I also reblog some nsfw jokes on my main, but never something actually sexual at heart. (For example, smthin kinda like deez nuts jokes but more detailed. Like uhhh. She scott on my pilgrim till I take off.) I’ve tagged these as “#suggestive text” in the past, but I started tagging them as “#suggestive joke” a while ago.

~Mass likes/reblogs don’t bother me, don’t worry :]

~Uh. I may unintentionally spam-like/reblog other blogs though, if I happen to really enjoy your posts. I don’t mean to bother anyone, randomly I just go through a spiral of stuff I really like and feel the need to catalogue it somehow (or else I might forget lol)

~On my main I reblog things relating to politics/light discourse, usually just some civil rights stuff. I don’t tag these categorically.

~I have adhd and autism, and reblog about struggles sometimes tagged with “#nd things”. Also,

~I use tone indicators for anything that I think might be confusing, but always spelt out. For example, “/sarcastic” or “/light-hearted.”

~I am genderqueer and use they/she/he, in order of preference. (When I say “alternation preferred”, I mean I would greatly appreciate if you alternate between multiple of these pronouns for me rather than just choose one set forever.)

~Unimportant to blog, but I wanna add as a little hiya to the queer community that I am also demi-pansexual. (demi as in demiromantic + demisexual.)

~I blog a lot of sonadow here, so just to organize the duo in my blog I may tag sonic and shadow’s general interactions as the ship as well, even if the post wasn’t necessarily meant to be. Please send an ask / message me if this makes you uncomfortable.

~My memory is faulty, meaning I may reblog the same thing multiple times without meaning to, or forget to respond to a message/ask. (more on that below)

Moot-to-Moot Communication:

~If we’re mutuals, feel free to message me for any random reason!!

~I might take a while to respond, but I promise no matter what I will see your message and be thinking about it. The Dysfunction does do the hit (and also the anxiety and memory . lots of that too)

Drawn demonstration by user cuptoast on twitter dot com:

~Please, please just message me a lil reminder if I don’t get back to you after a day!! I prolly forgor 💀. Just a little “yo” or whatever you want is great, it helps a lot.

~However, I usually start conversations with an ask. (It’s a little silly, but it’s easier for me to keep track of and less intimidating that way.) If you’d prefer, you can just respond to it in messages.

~I…… may or may not be following over 4000 blogs (I very much am.) This means I never really see moots on the dashboard, which means I don’t really interact except for once in a while when I might FLOOD your posts with likes + reblogs ,:]

~In any messages whatsoever, if subtext is used then I would very much appreciate spelt-out tone indicators (or any other form of clarification 👍. I may casually ask for the tone if I’m confused)

~Just let me know if you want me to tag something for filtering out, like spoilers but also literally anything else.

Do not interact section:

In general, I block who I don’t want to interact with; but with the current situations, I want to clarify my stances if it makes anyone more comfortable to know… or uncomfortable, so they can know and do what they will.

~I stand completely with Palestine and Palestinians, against genocide, displacement, the Israeli military or government, and for a ceasefire. I reblog about Palestine news and history frequently. I also believe that Jews, as well as all average civilians everywhere, deserve to live and be happy- all including with places of worship. These are not contradictory statements.

~I am against proshipping, meaning that I am heavily against the fictional fetishization of children, (including minor/adult ships,) rape, or incest.

~I also did not realize that TERFs were so common here!! Unfortunate! I am also obviously against terfs.

WHEW!! THE END!!!! YOU MADE IT THRU!!! Thanks for reading :]. pow bam bang you get hearts <33💞💘💕

Anonymous asked: I am sorry, I followed to rp with you but you seem to not want to follow me and so I have chosen to terminate my follow of you so that we can both go about our separate ways and live our lives to the fullest. May you live in peace and harmony I hope you have cheap gas and have a good job and have a loving family one day or a life alone if that is what you would prefer. I also hope you have health insurance and a nice car and a reason to feel good about living in a world that sometimes only ever seems like it wants to take away from us all. I hope I have not hurt your feelings by unfollowing you, I do not want to hurt your feelings but it is just really awkward for me personally to be following someone who does not follow me for various reasons. I thought long and hard about this decision and I feel it would be best. Again, I mean no disrespect and I hope you are not angry with me. Goodbye.

Dude............... I don’t even know who you are. Do you know how many followers I have? I have like 172. Some are other RP blogs, some are personal blogs. I do not follow every single person who follows me. I keep my dash clean and clear and as safe as possible for me.

If your blog is a personal blog, I will not RP with you, I don’t RP with personal blogs, so if you don’t make a distinction of your blog then yeah, I’m not going to follow you. I have every right to say no, to following someone. You are not entitled for me to follow you, I owe you literally nothing as a stranger on the internet.

I find it really funny that you phrase this like “we’ll go out separate ways” as if we were ever going the same way? My dude, I don’t know you, I’m not hurt by this and frankly if you had left I probably would never have noticed much of a difference. I’m sorry that it’s the truth, if you never reached out, never spoke to me, or send an ask, I will not know much of a difference if you unfollow me especially if I was never following you.

For 2) I am not mutually exclusive. I understand people who are, and I respect that, but I will RP with non-mutuals. IT might be a lil hard since I dont see you all the time and notifications are weird but I’ll happily RP with people im not mutuals with because my dash I want to keep safe, but sometimes people have a right to post things I don’t want to see, and that doesn’t make them bad, I just dont want it on my dash but that, to me, doesnt mean I want to cut all ties.

I understand it’s awkward for you but you legit are just making everything worse by sending me this ask. You could have just left without a peep and it would be fine, but making this ask, is guilt tripping. You are trying, whether you mean to or not, by your words to make me feel bad because I have boundaries and didn’t want to follow you. You’re phrasing things in such a way that you want me to feel bad and be upset and sad because I have and enforce boundaries. Well I’m not, and TBH I’m laughing at this more than anything to think someone is entitled to my time and will try to make me feel bad when you made little to no effort to even speak to me let alone make yourself known to me.

With all due respect, this is extremely disrespectful. You putting this big goodbye letter *on anon mind you* so I dont even know who you are, cuz I could have kept it private otherwise but ya know, that’s gone, but you put this here like it’s supposed to mean something when; I don’t know you.

Sorry dude, I’m not going to feel bad if that was your goal or whatever this was trying to accomplish because this, if anything, just makes me want to never interact with you ever, period.

Do you or your followers think it’s alright for a shipper to create a completely separate blog where they can ship incest freely?

I deal with extreme social anxiety in real life, so I might have an irrational fear of my current main blog being the target of a “call out” if someone takes issue with me liking or reblogging posts with incest. The fandoms I’m part of have some very heated discourse over morals and ethics, and incest is usually seen as 100% unethical in any circumstance, and same goes for shipping it, so I’d feel so much more relaxed if I could better distance myself from that. That way, I wouldn’t upset my mutuals on my first blog, and I could make new mutuals on my incesty 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👨 blog.

Hi Anon!

I think it is absolutely fine to create a separate blog for incest shipping. In fact, I often encourage it. It will give you a lot more freedom and a lot less stress. The only bad part is switching between accounts, logging in and such (if it's not a sub-blog). Otherwise it's a win win.

I do think it's important to stand up against the anti-incest shipping tide, but posting incest shipping content is one way of doing that, and if it's on a second blog then that's just as good.

It doesn't sound like your tumblr circles right now would be very open-minded.