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star-light-imagines · 1 year

Note

Can I request a Sesshomaru and Todoroki hc. Where their s/o likes to draw, and has a sketch book filled with drawings of them?

┊ ➶ ｡˚ ° this really took on a life of its own as I started writing, I stayed true to the request but did add in a touch of angst , because that's what came to mind picturing this take place.

┊ ➶ ｡˚ ° I hope you don't mind!

Sketches of You.

: ̗̀➛ Includes - sesshomaru x reader. shoto todoroki x reader. fluff. mutual pinning. slight angst. jealous shoto. bonus content.

: ̗̀➛ Warnings - gn! reader. slightly mean sesshomaru. annoying jaken. slight angst. cute loving moments.

: ̗̀➛ Word Count - 4,420

┊┊┊┊ ➶ ❁۪ ｡˚ ✧

(all art and characters are do not belong to me , credit goes to the original creators.)

Sesshomaru:

Curiosity. That's what he first started to feel towards watching you completely transfixed on the book you had in your hands. However, his intrigued stares were never granted a glimpse because when he would approach, your hands would tightly clasp the book closed.

As if you could sense when his eyes darted towards your artwork , you never failed to keep it just out of his view unknowingly adding to his ever-growing interest.

Your hands moved gracefully along the paper , as if it was dancing along the pages with the pencil held between your fingertips. Attention immersed in the lines forming in front of you , while a slight breeze annoyingly moved a strand of hair into your eyes causing you to pause.

"What is that book in your hands y/n? Is it for the school you speak of in your time?" he decides to ask while staring at you questioningly, the curiosity showing slightly on his features.

You hurriedly placed the book in your bag as he moved closer to the tree your back was now leaning against. The sketches were far too revealing of your feelings for him to see. No, if he saw these sketches he would see every emotion you had for him. You weren't ready to know if those feelings would be returned or denied.

"It's a sketchbook. Some of them are for my art class , however a majority of them are just so I can have a little piece of this era to keep with me while I'm at home." you said with a blush starting to grow pink on your cheeks.

"Hm."

He looked away from you as he looked towards the sky instead, sunlight catching his golden eyes making them almost glow. All you could picture was drawing the scene before you as soon as possible before you forgot how his silver hair blew in the slight breeze.

Annoyed. He starts to become annoyed when you had let Rin look into the sketchbook but you still went through immense effort to keep his eyes from looking at what you were creating. Why am I not allowed to see your art , do you not think of me as worthy enough to look upon it?

"Y/N! Y/N! look at these flowers I picked! Can you draw the same ones for me?" Rin had asked sweetly while placing her hands on your knees while you had been sketching.

"Of course I can." A smile effortlessly taking over your features as you speak to the girl.

"It's beyond me why you would want something useless like a drawing of a flower, child!" Jaken made his irritation known with a shrieking voice.

You start to diligently draw the flowers provided to you as you tune out the conversation.

"Oh Jaken! y/n told me that even though the flowers may wither away someday. However, if I have a drawing of the flowers then I can always keep them with me." she cooed happily.

"Don't you think so too , Lord Sesshomaru?" The little girl bubbly questioned

"Hm." was his only reply.

"That reminds me, Jaken, there's one of you and Rin together here."

You remembered suddenly as you finished the sketch of the flowers, quickly turning to the page of the drawing before anyone could see the others that plagued the pages of your sketchbook.

"WHAT! You drew me without my permission!" he screeches loudly.

Sesshomaru's irritation started to rise as the conversation grew on. Jaken's inherent gasp of wonder as Rin and him looked upon your sketchbook and the sequel of happiness she had praised upon you.

You happily gave her the sketch of the flowers she tasked you with, and she quickly was treating it as her prized possession.

"Lord Sesshomaru! Don't you want to see the drawing y/n made for me? It's so beautiful!"

"No , I don't need to set my eyes upon such trivial endeavors." It was said with such disgust that Rin had paused slightly and silence filled the air.

He had said the words out of irritation and annoyance, however you wouldn't know that.

Quickly without even sparing a glance towards the paper in Rin's tiny hands , had he stood from his spot next to the tree and left the campsite.

Leaving you with silent tears you refused to let spill in his wake.

Disappointed. He's disappointed in himself for allowing such insolent behavior. He had acted in such a childish way that he could only imagine his younger half brother would have reacted towards Kagome. He wasn't like him , he was more mature , more refined. So why is it bothering him so much anyways?

Was it because you never let him see the art inside that mysterious book?

Or was it the fact he had learned you had drawn the others in his pack and easily let them look upon your art while you still kept him at a distance ?

His thoughts plagued him as he stared at the full moon in the silence of the night.

Confused. When you had apologized the next morning while packing up the camp. There was nothing for you to apologize for which had hurt his pride more than when he acted so childish in front of you.

"Do not give apologies for something that is not needed."

There was no reply from you as a shocked expression formed on your features.

He knew he needed to atone for his behavior , however per his customs he would rather do so the right way rather than a lackluster apology, so he had to wait.

Guilty. After that night , he noticed you had stopped drawing as much as you used to. Before you had used almost every bit of your free time to draw, now it was replaced with you picking flowers with Rin or making small talk with Jaken and himself.

A few weeks had gone by since that night, and you had yet to even take out the sketchbook more than once a week much to his dismay.

Even though he never outwardly expresses it , watching you draw under the shade of the trees as Rin pranced around in the fields of flowers with Jaken at her heels brought a sense of peacefulness over him.

The furrowed eyebrows in concentration as your hands moved the pencil gracefully almost effortlessly across the sketchbook resting in your lap. A slight breeze rippling through your hair and making one strand a bit into your eyesight. Before you had moved the strand behind your ear to stop it constricting your line of view.

He knew you loved to draw and apparently had a gift for it from the praise Rin and Jaken had given you that night. He didn't want his childish words to keep you from doing something you desired to do.

He took a moment to peek at you over his shoulder , your eyes glancing at the clouds above. A slightly sad expression overtaking your facial features before you had made eye contact with him almost as if you had known his eyes were on you.

He quickly moved his eyes forward to gaze at the trail in front of him, a stoic expression while his heart hammered in his chest. This was new, he never felt this way before. He never felt the need to make someone want to smile more strongly than he did right now, and he had no idea on how to accomplish that with you.

Content. He led you aside one night to a river near the campsite. The moon light was reflecting off the water enchantingly and fireflies decided to dance along grass nearby.

"You no longer draw , how come ? Is it not something you desire to do?" he asked with a stoic expression as gold eyes made contact with e/c, filling the silence between you two.

"Oh , I just figured maybe I should take a break from it for now, plus my sketchbook is almost full so until my next trip home I'm a bit limited."

He noticed how pink dusted your cheeks before you quickly looked away. A smirk slightly formed on his lips at the sight , he liked seeing a blush form on your cheeks more than he previously would have realized.

"You apologized before for something that didn't need your apology."

"Oh, yes, that's right." you stammer out not seeing where this conversation could be heading.

"Do not do so again. If you know you aren't at fault , don't lower yourself to others' bad behavior."

You stood there stunned, not quite sure what to say before uttering a quick " Yes." when his stern eyes reached yours.

When that conversation happened you had mostly apologized in order for there to be no ill will between you two and make sure he wasn't upset at you. Never would you have imagined he would tell you twice now not to apologize for something so trivial in the long scheme of things.

"If anyone needs to apologize , it would be this Sesshomaru for the unsightly attitude I had given you. I should have told you this before now , however it is a yokai custom to come bearing gifts when asking for forgiveness."

Sesshomaru pulls out a set of what looks like custom made art tools. They were beautifully handcrafted with fine luxurious materials, more than likely yokai crafted at that.

A gasp of awe escapes your lips as your fingers gingerly gloss over each of the tools, you focus mostly on drawing but you could now expand your art to other mediums such as painting if you so desired.

Your heart had swelled to the brim with affection and happiness that spilled out in the form of tears running down your cheeks.

"Is it not to your liking." he asked, his lips forming a tight frown.

"It's beautiful." you say with what you're sure is the happiest smile you ever graced him before.

Yes , he is content with this for now.

Realization. Later that night as you two were walking back to the campsite, you ended up asking him why he had responded in such a way in the first place. When he had told you how he felt irritated about the others getting to see your art, while he felt left out and cast aside, you instantly started to feel guilt weigh down your shoulders.

"There's a reason I never let you see. It's not a good reason, but I was just embarrassed of what you would say once you saw what I draw everyday." you say while heat spreads to your cheeks.

"Why would you be embarrassed of showing this Sesshomaru?"

You quickly take the sketch book out of your bag and hand it to him before you can change your mind. He eyes you while his clawed fingers carefully open the book in his hands and you look away, embarrassed to watch his eyes linger on the sketches.

He's silent as his fingers graze the pages within , silently turning the pages every few moments after he takes in the contents of the page before.

"These are all sketches of .." he trails off in amazement, his eyes taking on a softer look than you have ever seen before.

"They are all sketches of you. yeah there's Rin or Jaken , maybe a beautiful valley every now and then , but you are what I sketch everyday. You are what I like to see most even when I'm in my era and not by your side."

That's when he realized the feelings he had towards you this whole time wasn't just ordinary feelings for a companion in his pack , or a human he had just happen to keep by his side.

He wanted to keep you by his side. He wanted to always make you smile the way he you are now with your eyes glowing and your cheeks dusted with a pink hue.

Most importantly, he couldn't be just content with you as a companion for much longer.

I never want to let y/n go.

"Y/n I desire to see everything you draw from now on."

"Of course" you reply shyly.

"You are stunningly beautiful when you blush like that. If only I had the skills you possess in order to show you as you had shown me."

Wide eyes catch the smirk dancing on his lips before he walks towards the campsite , hand still wrapped tightly around your sketchbook as he did.

┊┊┊┊ ➶ ❁۪ ｡˚ ✧

ˏˋ°•*⁀➷ Bonus Scene:

"Sesshomaru , I've been meaning to ask this. where did you get these art tools ?"

He glanced down at you as your head rested on his shoulder, your new sketchbook on your thighs as you gracefully sketched a beautiful scene of the two of you this time under a cherry blossom tree.

A pleased smile graced his usually stoic features as his eyes became softer at the sight. "I had them specially made from a yokai craftsman in my territory, the day Jaken was left to guard you two I had gone to collect them."

You smile happily as you nuzzle your face into his shoulder more as a slight breeze whipped some strands of hair onto your face.

He reaches a clawed hand towards you elegantly , placing the strand back behind your ear taking a few seconds to pull his fingers away before smirking at the obvious heat rising to your cheeks.

»»———-　　———-««

Shoto Todoroki:

Curiosity. He started to notice you would often be sitting close to the windows in the dormitory, with all of your attention focused on the sketchbook on your lap. You would never once glance up at the environment around you, not even when one of your classmates was usually loud. His interest peaked , he couldn't help but wonder what you had been drawing for days on end.

Shoto had decided to try and take a glimpse at your artwork after watching you work dedicatedly on the page before beneath your smudge stained fingers.

The sketchbook had been slammed closed before his eyes could see the mysterious artwork hidden within, only feeding into his curiosity even more. You had given him a quick glance , making eye contact before placing the book safely in your bag.

"It's not polite to look at someone's personal belongings without permission, Todoroki."

His eyes glazed over to the bag that now held the notebook that is just out of his reach, before returning his eyes to stare directly into yours evenly almost as if stating a challenge.

"I'm just curious as to what you are drawing that has you so transfixed."

A smile makes its way to your lips.

"Ever hear that curiosity killed the cat."

You hastily made your way to your dorm room, bag in tow. The thumping of your heart was echoing in your ears as you walked. That was close, too close for comfort. If he had seen inside, he would know just how deeply of a crush you have been harboring for him since you first met him.

While he still stood there, piecing together your sentence.

Were you saying I would die for being too curious?

Content. Since the day he tried to take a glimpse of your sketchbook , you had been careful to not let him approach too closely. Making sure that if you had sensed him , you would immediately close the book in your hands. However, the curiosity he felt started to fade. Taking in the sight of you drawing so earnestly and with such dedication was art in itself.

You were enchanting , eyes focused on the pages before you. a firm grip on the sketchbook as it laid on your lap and your remaining hand danced across the paper delicately. His eyes were in a trance as he watched you from across the room , gliding along with each movement your fingers made.

A small smile graced your lips as you finished whatever art piece you had set your heart on that day, and that's when he felt it. Watching your eyebrows relax and peace settle into your face as you looked content as you placed the sketchbook bag in the safety of your bag. He noticed he no longer really needed to know what you were drawing as long as you continued to smile just like that.

Warmth filled his chest at the thought as he gazed at your retreating figure.

Yes, he's content with this.

Bitter. Shoto realizes that you are drawing in Midoriya's notebook. the feeling of ice shivered down his spine as he saw you so intently focused with that same smile he felt so content at seeing. Now being shown to his best friend in the seat next to you. Oh, so that was why you never let him see your art , it's reserved for someone else.

Midoriya had asked you a few days ago to help him redesign the sketches in his notebook. He noticed how you were always drawing in your free time and decided you would be the best person to go to for the request.

You've never taken commission work before, and even though you weren't getting paid it did feel nice having someone look at your art and see how excited they got at the results. Watching how happy Midoriya was at the sketches you had already placed made you eager to accept more requests in the future if you ever got the chance.

"Wow! y/n I can't believe how amazing your sketches are!" he says in wonder.

"Thank you, but you are really flattering me too much." you say happily as you make the finishing touches on the last drawing of a figure of midoriya doing a move he's wanting to practice.

"I really mean it y/n! This is way better than anything I've ever managed to do. What made you start drawing?"

You quickly put down your pencil as you go into thought for a moment from the sudden question.

"I guess.. it would have to be the fact that even though moments pass by so quickly, a moment I draw will stay forever encased like a photograph for me to look at whenever I want to revisit it."

"Y/N! That's beautiful." he states with slight tears forming in his eyes, while he's forcing himself to hold them back.

"Oh Todoroki! You're up early this morning, come look at y/n's art." Midoriya said excitedly as he motioned for Shoto to join them at the table you were residing at.

Your heart hammered in your chest at the thought of him finally looking at your artwork. This was finally something he could see that wouldn't immediately show how much you liked him and you were nervous about his response to your designs.

"No thank you. I heard curiosity killed the cat." he says with a stoic expression.

e/c met a heterochromia mixture of grey and blue in shock, he had refused to see the art he tried so desperately to steal a glimpse of a few weeks before. Had he really taken you seriously with your remark?, or did he just no longer care to look at what you were drawing anymore. The excitement in your heart slowly fading out, you fell silent.

You watched as midoriya continued to talk to him with a slightly shocked and worried expression, before eventually shoto had left the room leaving you alone once again with the green haired boy beside you.

Numb. The days following he had started to distance himself from you and Midoriya. Deciding to no longer eat with the two of you at lunch like before or spend free time together in the dormitory like what had been a routine for him. He now isolated himself in his room to escape the questioning looks you would give his way or the worried expressions his best friend would give him whenever he became too silent.

He didn't want to distance himself from you , but every time he saw you he remembered that the only one you allowed yourself to open up to was midoriya. He realized he would never be able to get close to you the way he was and it made him feel cold.

The cold feeling overtook him in a way that was so intense that his body and mind felt numb.

I lost y/n before I even had a chance to get them.

You had noticed how he was distancing himself and your heart ached in pain at the fact. every time you had tried to reach out, to question what could be plaguing his thoughts he would shut you out. Not only was your mind suffering from the worry , but so was the art you had tried to complete in order to relax from the stress.

The sketches of shoto that you had tried to finish the last few days have been a failure compared to your collection of artwork consisting of the one man taking over your thoughts. It was pointless to try and draw him when he won't even talk to me anymore.

A silent tear strolls down your cheek as you look up to the ceiling of your dorm.

Why do I feel so numb?

Midoriya had told me recently that my art might be able to reach people when words fail.

Taking a quick glance towards your sketchbook before you could second guess your thoughts, you grab it tightly in your hands and make your way towards his dorm room.

Surprised. The knock on his door had shaken him from his thoughts, and the sight of you as he opened his door had his stoic expression falter slightly as his eyes widened just a bit where you could notice. He obviously wasn't expecting you to be here in his doorway, Why would he when he had been actively pushing you away ? and yet here you were smiling sadly back at him in silence.

"Y/n?" he lets out a confused gasp of your name that he believed he only spoke in his mind for a moment when you took a few beats to answer.

He notices you take a breath inward before releasing it and the determined e/c orbs reach him.

"I won't know what's wrong unless you tell me."

"And I won't know how to help you unless you tell me." you continue before he can reply.

"But I can care about you, and I want to help you so stop pushing me away!"

You place the sketchbook in his hands in one rough motion as you finish your last sentence. Your gaze now directed at the ground and the tips of your ears growing red and the feeling of his eyes lingering on you in the silence that fell over you two.

Shoto looks down at the sketchbook in his hands while processing the words you had told him. he knows he was being to hard on you, he shouldn't have treated you so badly the last few days. he just couldn't force himself to watch you be with his best friend when he had just recently discovered that the feelings he's harbored for you all along would go unrequited.

He slowly opens the sketchbook prepared to see sketches of Midoriya or even just random sketches of the world through your eyes, however once the contents reach his vision he freezes. his fingers grazing the person so familiar to him on the pages before flipping through each page.

"This is .." he starts before stopping, surprised to see that every page was filled with sketches of one person.

"You. They are all sketches of you." you say a small smile placed on your lips as you hesitantly glanced up to him.

His heart filled with so much joy and awe that a few silent tears slid down his cheeks as he realized that not only did the person he had feelings for , have feelings for him as well , but that he had unintentionally hurt you more than he intended when he distanced himself.

"I was jealous." he states, suddenly making your mouth open in shock.

"What?!"

"Midoriya was able to see your artwork. It seemed like he was so much closer to you than I would ever be."

Shoto gazes turns downward towards his feet as a slight blush graces his cheeks from the revealed emotions.

You were surprised by the sudden confession and let a lighthearted laugh escape your lips from the pressure of his distance to put on your heart. He glanced at you making eye contact before you leaned into him, placing a hand on his cheek as you got closer.

"You know that cats have nine lives ? so even if they do die of curiosity they can always try again." you say before leaning to press your lips to his.

Happiness. The ice he had felt had melted and the numbness from the cold was warmed completely from your feelings that reached him through the sketches you had shown him and the kiss you have given him.

"I'm sorry for hurting you." he says softly while placing a strand of your hair behind your ear and looking deep into your eyes.

You smile brightly up at him in return.

“Promise to talk to me next time before you jump to conclusions?”

He laughs slightly as a small smile takes over the frown that graced his lips.

“Promise.”

┊┊┊┊ ➶ ❁۪ ｡˚ ✧

ˏˋ°•*⁀➷ Bonus Scene:

“So why were you drawing in Midoriya’s notebook?” he asked while you ate dinner together in his room.

You looked at him with a bright smile excited to tell him all about how you were now wanting to start commissioning your artworks.

“He asked me to help him redesign his notebook. He told me his drawings were making his notes look too messy.” you said happily before stealing a piece of his food from his plate.

“I really wish I would have paid more attention that day.” he said with a small sigh before the smile returns as he gazes at you.

“However I don’t regret anything because somehow throughout all this , I managed to get you.”

»»———-　　———-««

A/N: Should I keep my headcanons / imagines like this or make them more simple & short?

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dragonrider9905 · 15 days

Text

Racing Heart

Chapter 2

(Part 1)(Part 2)

Summery: You catch up with the Batch at last...and you can finally learn the truth about Tech and what he feels for you. Warning: Angst with a happy ending; jealousy; feelings of anxiety.

You pulled the drop of your hood further down to obscure your face and swirled the contents of your drink. The colors spinned and turned but refused to be mixed. The blue and purple layers were separated by a yellow one and when you turned the liquid about, it created a fascinating illusion. The lights were dim in the bar where you sat, but the illumination behind the bar created just enough light to throw beams into your glass. The ice cubes caught and increased the colors. It was a good thing it was all the entertainment you needed because you’d been sitting there a long time.

“Can you please stop that? You’re making me dizzy.” Your companion grumpily slurred.

He was bent over the counter, same as you, but his eyes darted to and fro, expertly and unsuspiciously. He turned his glass more gently, as if he were a connoisseur trying to decide how he felt about it. You didn’t understand how he could be so cool and act like he’d belong in any setting. You admired it. You wished you possessed the same amazing tactics but you didn’t. You were easier to read than a book. If it wasn’t for him, you'd have been spotted sooner than a sore thumb a long time ago. You’d been seen as you were, lost and far from home in a big and threatening galaxy full of scary beings. You were good with facts and figures. Data and books and computers. Dealing with people wasn’t really your forte.

Of course all that time in the field refined his talents but it was a talent nevertheless. In fact, if Crosshair hadn’t insisted on taking over at Safa Toma, you would have begged him to.

You and Crosshair walked into the Safa Toma Speedway like you owned the place. The glare and saunter were natural to him, but for you, well, it was less so. Crosshair rolled his eyes.

“Could you look any more phony? I asked you not to stand out. Your glare looks like you’re going to combust. Literally screaming “ask me, I have a secret”. Just relax and think about the time Wrecker spilled spaghetti sauce all over that white uniform of yours right before the decoration ceremony, and you had to wear that ridiculous looking jacket that didn’t match your pants in front of the entire assembly.”

You scowled at the memory and your face heated producing a fine, red blush. You’d had to wear your oil stained brown pants from helping Tech upgrade the Marauder with a spare gray uniform jacket. They didn’t match in the slightest, but were the only things you had in the closet as your spare uniform was dry-cleaning after your latest mission. You were the only one out of the ten receiving metals to look that ridiculous. Wrecker apologized profusely and Tech assured you no one seemed to notice. Maybe he hadn’t, but others certainly did. You were completely and utterly humiliated.

“Precisely, look annoyed and follow my lead. You’ll be fine. Try crossing your arms. Usually does something for me.”

You huffed a laugh and the corners of your mouth turned up.

“Wipe that smile off your face.”

“Why? Can’t smiles be just as menacing?”

“Not yours. Yours are always too sweet.”

You had to figure out if that was a compliment or an insult or both.

“Ooookaaaayyyy.”

“Am I detecting a high level of sass?”

You tried hard not to smile, but a chuckle came out anyway.

“And they say I’m the difficult one.” Crosshair rolled his eyes. “Just don’t say anything. And try not to look like a lost puppy.”

You arrived at the apartment said to be Millegi’s, the sponsor for the racer named Venim, to test your theory about his association with ‘Cid’. Considering he responded with your cryptic message by saying he’d meet you. You were pretty sure you were correct.

Upon entering the finley furnished apartment, you saw Millegi sat reclined on his sofa, a hint of malicious humor on his face. He cut right to business just as you suspected.

“I hear you’re looking for Cid. What do you want with her?”

Crosshair put on his coldest face and crossed his arms over his chest. “Let’s say I have unfinished business with her, and I hear you know how to find her.”

“What’s in it for me?”

“I know powerful people, and trust me, I’ll make sure you disappear so fast, you’d wish I’d gifted you with death.”

And that’s how you found yourselves sitting in Cid’s bar. Waiting. Forever. Waiting for the runaways to return home. The longer you waited the more you wished you hadn't come. You didn’t know if dreaming about this moment and wishing so hard it hurt was better than the actual waiting because right here, right now, reality was happening. In your dreams you’d run to Tech and he’d wrap his arms around you and everything would be happy and fine. You could control the outcome. Everything would turn out how you planned no matter the scenario.

This was the unknown. You didn’t know what would happen. And to top it off, what would happen, would be final. No more alternate scenarios. No more differing factors. You didn’t know if Tech would even be happy to see you. What if he didn’t even remember you?!? Despite Crosshair’s assurances and annoyance at something that should be obvious (which was honestly more comforting than the assurances) the familiar anxiety bubbled in your stomach and you felt the bile rise in your throat. Unconsciously, your knee started bouncing against the chair.

“Hunter’ll hear that all the way from the space port.”

“Ha. Ha.”

“This isn’t exactly an easy moment for me, either.”

Your knee stopped bouncing and regret seeped into your bones.

“I’m so sorry, Crosshair. I haven’t been considerate. I’ve been so focused on myself and my problems…” You sighed and looked down. “I’ve done so much wrong.” You ran your fingers through your hair, trying not to disturb the cloak too much. “I can’t even seem to do right by my friends. You deserved so much more consideration. Your step took more courage than mine; and I haven’t expressed enough how grateful I am that you came with me.”

“You’ve expressed it almost every day since we left.”

You shrugged. “I am grateful. I just want all of us together again, the way it should be. But this waiting is unbearable. Not knowing how they’ll accept us is the worst part. I mean, you’re they’re brother. You’re more likely to be wanted than me.”

“Don’t count on it after our last meeting. Not to mention what I’ve done since.”

“Crosshair—” You’d been over this so many times with him. Thinking of different ways to defend him but he was obstinate in his self-loathing.

“Save it.”

Crosshair glared but the ice melted when he saw the hurt in your eyes. He sent an apology look, not able to find the words he wanted to say, and not even knowing exactly what to say. But spending weeks with Crosshair on the run, you’d learn how to communicate with him this way. You felt you knew him on a whole new level and could talk without words.

You wished you could still say the same about Tech.

Then a noise caught your attention. The three patrons who’d been second-handedly annoying the both of you for the past few hours excitedly welcomed someone.

“Well look who’s back!” the one you ascertained was Bolo, said.

“Hey, when are we getting another dejarik game! It’s been pretty boring without you.” the one named Ketch added.

The female pirate by the identity of ‘Phee’ spoke next. You’d been listening to her stories and they seemed too fantastical to be true, but they were entertaining to listen to while you waited. You thought Crosshair’s eyes would get stuck behind his skull with how often he rolled his eyes while she spoke, claiming he had better ‘real’ stories. But he must have enjoyed them enough because he kept listening and making off-handed comments.

“Well look who it is, if it isn’t my favorite group of clones.”

You peaked in the direction to see the Bad Batch file in and try to scoot past the overly excited, ‘bored’ patrons. Probably to talk to Cid if they had just gotten done with a job.

“Limping again, Brown eyes? You really ought to be more careful.” Phee put her hand on Tech’s shoulder and you almost lurched at the hint of softness in her voice. He had found someone after all. In the corner of your eye, you saw Crosshair give you a sympathetic look but you refused to meet his gaze.

“Maybe this was a dumb idea.”

“No.” Crosshair said sternly. You looked up to meet his eyes and saw a kind earnestness in them. “No it wasn’t. No matter how this ends, what they say, we’re out of the Empire and that’s all that counts. I have you to thank for that.”

You smiled faintly. “We could always trek out on our own. I have the brains and you have…well everything else.”

Crosshair chuckled. “Let’s say we get this over with.”

You could only let out a breathy “Okay.”

You were aware of a hush that came over the boisterous group.

“Who are those two?” You heard Hunter stage whisper. You didn’t have to look over your shoulder to know he’d crossed his arms and was staring at the two of you.

“Dunno, they’ve been sitting there since before we came in. Long time.” Ketch said.

“Hm.”

You could bet they were sharing concerned looks among each other, trying to decide what to do. Your breathing quickened.

You heard Crosshair’s chair turn. “No one important. Just your brother and your friend.”

Okay, Crosshair, maybe not the best intro.

You stayed glued in place, not wanting to face them.

“Crosshair?” You couldn’t tell which of the brothers said that. All the world started to turn before your eyes. The blood rushed to your ears and you completely missed the exchange happening between the torn Batch. The loud fuzziness overtook all that was happening around you. You were only focused on the void, empty feeling.

Tech has someone.

“Glad you’re back, brother.” broke through the haze along with the clanking of armor. You could only guess that meant they embraced.

They wanted Crosshair back. That’s good. Maybe I should just leave quietly…

Maybe you didn’t have a place with them anymore but you did return their prodigal brother to them and that was reward enough.

Then you heard teary laughing and other clanky embraces. You heard an excited little girl squish her face into her brother’s chest or shoulder (depending on whether or not Crosshair knelt for her or not) and cry happily.

This was your chance. You moved swiftly and silently like Crosshair had shown you over the last few weeks and made your way toward the back exit. The shadows of the backroom covered you and you took one last glance where the light poured in. You saw happy faces of a reunited family. Laughing and jesting and happy, relieved tears were poured out. Just the way they should be; you felt a smile growing on your face. Yes, all was well.

You turned to leave with that last happy memory.

You made your way out the back door and out the alley toward the front entrance and slowly started to make your way to a spaceport to book a passage with the fake ID you made. You had a few credits left. You could get by on them until you thought of what to do next.

The day was ending and the world was alive. The day-timers were heading home from work and the night-shifters were getting up and going to their posts…or bars. Wherever they kept vigil. That wasn’t for you to know or care. The sun was setting and giving off the most beautiful orange…

You heard your name and you turned around surprised. You knew who the voice belonged to and a part of you wondered if you were dreaming. There would be no way Tech was actually chasing you, could there be?

You saw him bobbing in the crowd, looking about frantically. You’ve never seen him so scattered. He called your name again, louder, more frantic. If you had half a brain left, you would have answered. But you were tired, numb, and heartbroken. Your feet hurt and you didn’t know if you could face him. Instead of leaving quietly or approaching him, you stood there with your mouth agape, watching as if this were a holofilm and you were not the main character on the screen. You couldn’t be the main character. You’d plain forgotten your lines.

Your feet decided to move without your brain’s permission. You didn’t know if you were going to go toward Tech or turn away, and you never found out because in that moment, Tech spotted you and your eyes locked. He smiled a full smile and pushed through the moving masses toward you and was by your side in an instant.

“Mesh’la, you’re here! You’re here!” Tech excitedly said. There was a dancing fire in his eyes and a laugh on his lips. “I can’t believe my calculations, you’re here!” Before another moment passed, you were wrapped in a hug. His arms came around you and brought you close to his chest. He lowered his head so it was resting on yours, then stayed silent for so long it started to worry you. Tech was never silent.

“Tech.” Your voice cracked from how dry it was.

He parted and cupped your face.

“Mesh’la.”

You felt your whole face on fire and you couldn’t look Tech in the eye. Your ears were pink to the tips. You knew what that word meant. He couldn’t possibly mean it. Did Crosshair put him up to this?

“What?” Tech looked taken aback and slightly hurt.

Woops, must have said that part out loud.

You cleared your throat. “Did Crosshair…I mean…” tears filled your eyes and you sighed. You tried to look anywhere but him but his hand, though gentle, was firm and held your head in place. Besides, you were loath to lose the contact just yet. “Crosshair knew…so I was wondering if he sent you…told you to…”

“Crosshair knew what? Told me to?” He repeated.

You took in a deep breath and held it. You’d say it fast.

“Crosshair knew that I loved you and was searching for you forever and when I saw you racing I knew I could find you and really wanted to find you so I decided to trust him to see if he wanted to come and we left the Empire together to find you. You’re a good racer, that was good racing.” You let out the rest of the air in a heavy sigh. One breath.

Tech smiled. “You were searching for me?”

You tried to look at your shoes. “Yes.” Your voice was so small but that was all you had left.

“You love me?”

“Yes!” That was a little more vehement and you rolled your eyes. You had a transport to catch. If he didn’t mind, you really had to get going. “It KILLED me when I thought you were dead. I didn’t know…”

He leaned in closer to your ear.

“I love you too.”

You let out a sob and pressed your face into his chest. Your heart felt like it exploded and adrenaline rushed through your veins and you started to feel dizzy. Your muscles relaxed and the tired, achiness returned, reminding you you needed to rest. Tech felt the extra weight and shifted to support you. But your happiness was replaced with confusion.

“But…your girlfriend? How can you love me if you have a girlfriend.”

“Girlfriend?” Tech sounded so surprised you had to look him in the face. His eyebrow was up in a quizzical form. The one he always made when he was drawing a blank. You loved this expression because it was so rare, and he could never replicate it when he tried at your request. It was a look of complete honesty. You almost laughed at the hope your heart started to thud to.

“Phee, the pirate woman…”

“She is most definitely not my girlfriend. Did she say she was? Or did you draw that conclusion from her rather flirtatious greeting?”

“Maybe I did have incomplete data.”

“Did you notice I did not address the flirtations?”

“No…my mind was too busy reeling.”

Tech smiled again, but this time mischievously.

“What if I give you a better subject for you to meditate on?”

He leaned in and kissed you. Softly and perfectly. You broke it first.

“We’ll have to continue later.” You chuckled, “I can’t stop smiling.” You rested your head against his chest and heaved a relieved sigh.

“I agree, we shall have to continue this exercise later.”

You laughed and started back toward the bar. Tech limped after you and your smile turned upside down. You hadn't noticed before. He moved with such urgency and swiftness. It had to hurt.

“You’re limping.”

“Yes, I had a misfortunate accident on the last mission.” He shrugged. “It’s nothing.”

“No it’s not. Let me have a look.” You returned to his side and brought Tech’s arm around your neck so he could lean on you for support. “Where’s your ship? Do you have any ice for me to help bring down the swelling, or should I run back to Cid’s real quick to get the ice then bring you to the ship or…”

You were cut off by Tech’s chuckle. “We have the necessary supplies on the ship. That way.” He nudged his head in the right direction, but his gaze remained on you. It sparkled with all the love and adoration you never thought you’d see aimed toward yourself from the goggled eyes. Your heart swelled and your lips radiated that happiness with the biggest smile you’ve ever made. You were where you were meant to be. You were home at last.

Dividers by @djarrex and @ve-ti-ver

#the bad batch #tbb hunter #star wars #tbb wrecker #tbb crosshair #tbb tech #tbb echo #tbb omega #star wars the bad batch #tech x reader #tech #tech x you #tech and reader #tech x female reader #tbb tech x reader

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olivsie · 1 month

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Something I like about epic the musical is that it Gives it's changes to the original text an actual Purpose

( The first couple paragraphs are basically a rant regarding retellings. If you only want to hear about epic Skip to paragraph 4)

1. I am a bit annoyed by the lack of. Understanding as to why RETELLINGS aren't the most historicaly accurate things in the world. Sorry to break this to you, but that's both just how they work and I would guess how they reach success. Ancient Greece is a much different culture than our own, And most of us would be terrified to actually live back then. When you are Trying to create content That is based on ancient Greece And you want it to be successful/ At least reach a wide, and notably, MODERN audience. You're likely going to have to take some creative liberty And change a few things. Don't get me wrong, YOU DO NOT HAVE TO LIKE RETELLINGS KNOWING THAT FACT ( Me personally, I'm not the biggest fan of Miller's novels Even though I do like epic) BUT IT IS SOMETHING TO BE AWARE OF. And because of that I don't think I would ever expect a retelling to be perfectly accurate And I don't. I had interest in mythology LONG before epic the musical But I didn't actually read the Odyssey until getting into epic. I did not expect it To be just like the musical, I knew Odysseus was going to be much more of an asshole, along with other characters. The odyssey and epic are different pieces of media to me And I am not less of a mythology nerd for liking epic ( Though I will admit that sometimes I take tiny little fun facts of mythology And like to think of them in the context of epic, but that's just for fun.)

2. The Only time being a fan of retellings is wrong as if you genuinely believe they are perfectly accurate And refuse to listen to anything else ( Which has definitely happened, And mythology nerds have the right to be annoyed at that)

3. Some people only like to consume real mythology media, Others like both real mythology and retellings, Others only like to engage with retellings (I would hope they have the self-awareness to know It's not real mythology, From what I've seen some do and some don't, Unfortunately)

4. Ok. now on to what the title of this long ass rant says

I like that epic the musical Retells the story, Not only to both cater to modern audience But Also with its OWN purpose of man versus monster.

Obviously, this is not the point of the original text. Mythos Odysseus does not give a single fuck About the stuff that epic odysseus does. I don't know why the creator Decided to rewrite it this way, (If he's ever said why let me know) But I would assume he wanted to make something about the oddessy And this was simply a very creative way to Translate that for modern audience.

I like this because, yes, holy damn. It does have changes from the original text. But it's not JUST changing it. It's changing it with a purpose

It feels reminiscent of some kind of Dramatic play. the way that epic characterizes.

Polites' kind nature is Representative of the Concept of being merciful Represented in his lines such as " This life is amazing when you greet it with open arms" /"There is so much guilt inside your heart, So why not replace it?"

While in contrast you have eurylochus with more ruthlessness and cautious nature, this is Found in some of his lines such as "You rely on wit, and people die on it" /"we don't know what's ahead" / "I say we strike first. We don't have time to waste so lets raid the place-" /"Let's just cut our losses, You and I and let's run"

And then you have Odysseus, the man/monster. The first act of this Musical is his internal struggle With what He should be On that scale. And the other characters Represent this struggle in the song monster

" Is the cyclops struck with gilt when he kills, is he up in the middle of the night? Or does he end my men to avenge his friend and then Sleep knowing he has done him right?

When the witch turns men to pigs to protect her nymphs, is she going insane? Or did she learn to be colder when she got older and now she saves them the pain?

When a God comes down and makes a Fleet drown Is he scared that he's doing something wrong? Or does he keep us in check So we must respect him and now no one dares to piss him off"

He then Applies this to himself

" Does a soldier use a wooden horse to kill sleeping trojans cause he is vile? Or does he throw away his remorse and save more lives with guile?"

And this marks his turning point of deciding that Ruthlessness It's ultimately worth it if it means Getting home, as aeolus says "The end Always justifies the means"

It's in my opinion, a very creative way to go about retelling a myth. Is it accurate? Absolutely not. For example, circe (From what we know) is not protecting When she turns men into pigs, For all we know, she could just do it because Shits and giggles.

Her character and most others in epic is changed from the original. But it's not ONLY changing for the sake of apeling to the modern Western audience and being successful like Many other retellings. It is also and mainly changing for the sake of influencing the plot that Jorge Rivera herrans crafted For the sake of Retelling epic. It is creative and I enjoy it despite knowing it's not accurate.

#epic the musical #odysseus #the oddyssey #tagamemnon #the iliad #greek mythology #again you do not need to like epic the musical or any other retellings #you are allowed to only like greek mythology itself #as a history enjoyer i understand the frustration and think its COMPLETELY valid to be annoyed when someone uwu's a figure #hell i would be annoyed if someone did that to the EPIC THE MUSICAL version of odysseus #he's still an asshole he's still a killer and a liar in epic just a lot more guilty about it then he would be in the oddessy #if all retelling fans had self awareness that its just a retelling and didn't “soft boi” either myth or retelling #i think we'd all be much happier

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anakin-pilled · 9 months

Text

SILVER SPRINGS (Lo'ak x Fem! Reader)

pairing: lo'ak x fem! reader

wordcount: 7.6k

warnings: angst, fandom cliches, amateur writing, bantering, unrequited love (?), complex family dynamics, A LOT OF CLICHES IM SORRY, bad pacing (my bad bro idk how to pace a story im new to this), not sure what else as this is pretty tame

rating: SFW! though my blog is 18+ because i interact with nsfw content, anyone can technically read this?

taglist: @teyamsatan

author's note: okay hi this is my first fanfic that i've ever written before? not counting fanfics i wrote in middle school anyway i got the idea for this fanfic after listening to silver springs by fleetwood mac and i was so obsessed with this idea that i had to make it come true? im a huge neteyam girly so this is a shocker that my first fic ever is about lo'ak (he's my babygirl, just not the LOML like neteyam). uhhh im only familiar with academic writing and this is my first time EVER dipping my toe into the waters of creative writing so pls bear with me if this is not perfect. i actually think this is quite flat and tbh i hate the pacing like its actually awful and there is so much room for improvement, but hey what can i do? IM A NEWBIE AT THIS!! with that being said, if you do decide to read, please treat me with some grace because i am sensitive and i did this purely for fun!!! i know my lo'ak stans are starving for fics and im here to deliver!!!! i am not a professional or seasoned writer by any means but i really tried my best to create something enjoyable ): i don't know why this ended up being so long but it did and there WILL be a part two, i already have it outlined. SO WITHOUT FURTHER ADO, here is my first avatar fanfiction!!

proofread and edited but i got lazy toward the end LOL if you see any mistakes, please tell me kindly <3

You could be my silver spring

Blue-green colors flashin'

I would be your only dream

Your shinin' autumn ocean crashin'

The forest blended into a mixture of vibrant colors as you ran away from the incoming threat. Beautiful shades of blue, green, and purple passed around you. The feeling of the bare ground, soft and pliant from the morning dew, normally imbued you with a sense of stability and peace. As long as your feet were on the ground and connected to Ewya’s bountiful moon, you knew everything would be alright. However, this time, the feeling of the bare ground underneath your feet felt the opposite of stable and peaceful. The ground served as a reminder of how much longer you had to run until you reached the safe confines of the Omitikaya clan.

You stopped running with a quick halt. Your chest heaved up and down as you tried to catch your breath. The beads in your hair clacked together in a cacophony as you looked around in different directions. The sun broke through the tree canopy and highlighted the forest like a kaleidoscope. Swish. You quickly turned your head to the other side to catch sight of what made the noise but all you could see was the rustling of the bush–as if whatever you were looking for was looking for you too before running off. Without a second to spare, you dashed in the direction of the village. But you only made it a few feet ahead of you before you were tackled by something heavy and shoved to the forest ground.

“I win.” said the voice from above in a triumphant, but annoying, manner.

“You got to be faster than that, ‘eylan.” As you shaded your eyes with your hand, you were met with the illuminating picture of Lo’ak on top of you. The sun shone above on Lo’ak and cast him in beautiful rays of light. He looked like an angel–like a celestial being sent straight from Ewya’s heart and into your eyesight. Though you have never seen an angel, Norm described them as ethereal and pure religious beings. And at this moment, Lo’ak was an angel.

“Get off me, fatass.” You said as you pushed Lo’ak weight off your body. You secretly loved the weight of his body on yours and how it radiated a warmth that hugged your body and soul. Lo’ak rolled off with ease and laid next to you on the foliage. “Hey! No need to insult me because you lost yet another round of hunter and prey.”

Hunter and prey. A game that all Omitcayan children played growing up. And though you and Lo’ak were no longer children, you continued to play this game. Lo’ak claims it’s a great way to burn energy and let loose. You suspected he liked playing so often because it allowed him to avoid whatever daily chores his father, the Olo’eyktan, assigned him. And while you could think of better ways to spend your time, you indulged in Lo’ak’s childish whims because it brought him happiness. What type of best friend would you be if you didn’t?

“I’m not insulting you because I lost. I could care less about losing,” You explained. “I’m insulting you because tackled me to the ground and put your entire weight on my body. Lay off the yovo fruit and I might insult you less.”

Lo’ak scoffed at your response and stuck his tongue out in a mocking manner. “You mean the yovo fruit that Spider and I specifically collected because you asked for it? Yeah, I got put on ikran pen duty for a week after that since we missed curfew.”

You simply rolled your eyes and aimed your middle finger at Lo’ak. Yeah, you definitely spent way too much time around Lo’ak.

You both basked in the sun and listened to the sound of the forest: your home, your comfort place, the lifeline of the People. You thanked Eywa every day for the forest and the way it provided for you endlessly–from the delicious yovo fruit, to the medicinal herbs, fauna, and everything in between. There was a gentle rustle in the air as it approached low afternoon. If closed your eyes and listened hard enough, you could hear the faint buzz of the insects and the leaves fluttering.

As you turned on your side to face Lo’ak, you noticed he still had his eyes shut. Your eyes raked over his stripes–the stripes that would forever be engrained in your brain–and focused on the armband that fits snugly on his upper arm. The weaved armband was made out of dried, violet stalks from the tstxa'a plant and braided into a traditional, intricate Omatikayan pattern. You added tiny clay beads that you hand-molded and painted a color very similar to a marigold–you captured copious amounts of juice from the banana fruit just to have enough pigment to create a dye. A small smile appeared on your face as you recall how long it took you to make the armband.

Your eyes slowly made their way toward his face. They widened as they realized Lo’ak’s eyes were open and staring at you too. The air was charged with tension as you both continued to stare at each other in silence.

You and Lo’ak always had this weird ability to communicate through eye contact alone. Your friendship, which was forged in childhood, ran so deep that words failed to represent what your eyes could. He was your other half as much as you were his. In these small moments of intimacy, you remember just how much you love Lo’ak. There was an unspoken bond between you two–a bond that went beyond friendship and teetered on the edge of romantic love. And while it was undeniable that there was something more happening between the two of you, your relationship stayed on that flimsy edge.

“What are you thinking about,” you whispered in a tone so soft that it reached Lo’ak ears like a tender caress.

“Oh, nothing. Just thinking,” Lo’ak replied with a teasing lilt in his voice and a glitter in his amber eyes. While everyone in the Omatikaya clan had the same shades of bright, yellow eyes, you thought Lo’ak had the prettiest. You raised the muscle on your face, where your eyebrows would have been if you had, and furrowed your forehead in suspicious knowing.

“Thinki-” “I’m thinking about how funny it would be if I beat your ass in another round of hunter and prey! Last one to the village has to take over foraging duty!,” Lo’ak shouted with a boyish smile as he got up quickly and ran in the direction of his kelku.

You got up from the lush grass and ran after him with another exacerbated breath.

The day drawled along as you patrolled the forest for the dandetiger tree. You looked for its long, azure leaves and armored trunk. As a healer in training, you were tasked by Mo’at to look for the tree for samples of the resin-like substance that it leaked. The sticky substance was extremely helpful to the Omatikaya clan in many ways as it behaved like an adhesive. It was especially important to healers as they used the dangetiger tree as part of treating wounds and ensuring bandages stuck and protected healing wounds. The healing hut ran low on its supply, thus you found yourself wandering through the forest. Kiri offered to accompany you, but you could tell she rather focus on perfecting the paste she was mixing. A major perk of being best friends with Lo’ak is that you also became close with his family and found a small niche within the Sully family.

You were an extension of Lo’ak, but also the opposite of him in some ways. Whereas Lo’ak was more energetic and impulsive, you were calmer and sensical. You both balanced each other perfectly; you were the yin to his yang. While Lo’ak’s nature often got him in trouble with his family, namely his father and older brother, you loved his high energy and zest for life. Sure, he could use more pragmatism in his daily thinking, but you saw Lo’ak’s personality as a blessing more than a hindrance, especially in times of war and destruction. If Lo’ak was your sun, then you were his moon–stable and outer-worldly. You were unwavering. Your nurturing nature and kind soul always amazed Lo’ak, even in the worse of times, you took it upon yourself to think and act as an optimist. You carried yourself with a sense of dignity that Lo’ak wishes he could replicate.

Though none of you ever admitted it out loud, you and Lo’ak knew that you loved each other in a way that best friends didn’t.

Despite your differences, you both had a passion for exploring and adventure. If Lo’ak went anywhere, you followed. And if he got in any trouble, you were only a few steps behind him. While Lo’ak intention for mischief was partially caused by the motivation to piss off his father, you believed that Eywa made Pandora for the purpose of exploring. Why would she make Pandora so magnificent and rich in life if not to experience every single crevice, nook, and cranny of it? While the forest would always be your home and the place you want to spend the rest of your life in, you could not deny the appeal of a nomadic lifestyle like the Olangi clan. However, with the return of the sky people on Pandora, your exploring had been cut to a short. Unable to venture into the unknown parts of the forest, the parts that resulted in a scolding or two from both your mom and Mr. Sully, you were forced to stay within the clan’s boundary lines.

Your thoughts were cut short as your heard movement in the background. The bag on your shoulder was discarded to the ground as you took out your bow and arrow. You were no warrior, but you begged Lo’ak to teach you enough to be able to defend yourself. Any Na’vi should know this little. You prayed to Eywa that it wasn’t a palulukan, or worse—a sky demon. A bead of sweat rolled down the side of your face as you aimed your bow in the direction of where you heard the noise. You aimed at the bushes before letting your final finger release the bow.

“Relax, syulang! It’s just me, Lo’ak!,” he said as he came out from the bushes of loreyu and walked to where you were standing. “Lo’ak,” you huffed with annoyance in your voice. “Don’t scare me like that, you skxawng! I was really focused on finding a dandetiger tree. Tsahik’s orders. What are you even doing here? I thought you were training with your father.”

“Lo’ak,” you huffed with annoyance in your voice. “Don’t scare me like that, you skxawng! I was really focused on finding a dandetiger tree. Tsahik’s orders. What are you even doing here? I thought you were training with your father.”

As Lo’ak walked closer to you, you noticed the downturn expression on his face. Your immediate heart softened. He must have had another fight with his father, you thought to yourself. Lo’ak turned his face toward yours and you saw the unshed tears in his eyes that threatened to fall any second now.

“I, uh, I was training with my father until we got into a fight and I stormed off,” he said with a shaky breath. You could tell Lo’ak was trying to keep his composure, not wanting to show that vulnerable side he desperately tries to hide away. Yet, you knew better than that. Every time Lo’ak tried to shut down and hide his emotions, you came running after him and knocked down the fragile walls he built around himself. The walls were fragile because Lo’ak knew he would and could never shut you out completely. He took a deep, shaky breath before continuing, “I’m just so sick of it. He expects me to be this perfect son and soldier all in one, but I’m not Neteyam. I’m just Lo’ak.”

You always thought Lo’ak was the most complex person you ever met. He was the second-born son of the revered Toruk Makto and mighty Palulukun Makto. But, Lo’ak was so much more than that to you. He was more than both of his parents. Though he would never admit it, Lo’ak was a lost soul. Not quite like Neteyam, the mighty warrior and dutiful son, or the spiritual Kiri who was literally like Ewya’s disciple. Hell, even everyone knew Tuk would grow into a fine, strong-spirited woman! Lo’ak didn't know where he fit in his family. Of course, the Sully family loved him, and Lo’ak loved his family just as much. But that still didn’t stop the gnawing, deep feeling in Lo’ak’s subconscious from telling him that he would never amount to greatness like the rest of his family. You wished Lo’ak wouldn’t be so hard on himself because you also had a deep feeling in your subconscious that Lo’ak was destined for greatness–the feeling was embedded so deep in your bones that you would bet your left on it.

“I know that I’m a fuck up.”

“You’re no-”

“It’s okay, syulang. I know I’m a fuck up. I can see it in the tribes’ faces every time they hear my father lecture me, or worse, hear Neteyam lecture me. I can see it in my fathers’ eyes and in the way the rest of my family pities me.”

“Your family doesn’t pity you, Lo’ak. If anything, they pity the way your father has been forced into this weird dichotomy of the punisher and protector ever since the sky demons returned and how it’s taken an effect on your relationship,” you tried to explain as sweetly as possible.

You took a step closer to Lo’ak and examined his face. Though his tears had dried and his eyes were now puffy, you could still tell there was a great sadness within him. You wished you could take all his pain and suffering so he didn’t have to.

“I don’t know who I am besides the fuck up, or the troublemaker. I feel like my entire existence is defined by all the things I am not. Defined by the way I’m different from Neteyam or Kiri. I want to be defined by who I am, but I don’t even know who that is most of the time,” said Lo’ak. “I try so hard, but it is never enough to satisfy my father. Or myself. I feel this heavy pressure in my chest and no matter what I do to relieve it, it stays. If I am not meant to be the next Olo’eyktan or the next Tsahik, then who am I meant to be? Sure–I am training to become a warrior, but I’m not sure if this is something I want or if it is a role I am forced into. I know I’m impulsive and reckless and irresponsible, but I try so hard, but what if that isn’t enough to look over all my flaws and mistakes?”

You moved even closer and tucked one of Lo’ak’s front braids behind his ear. You always loved his hair like this. It suited his face so well. His braids were adorned by various beads, each with its own significance and memory attached to them. The beads he wore today were a pretty amethyst color. Your mind quickly flashbacked to the day you both created the matching beads. You both swam all day in one of the forest’s ponds trying to find the purple stones underwater so you could both craft new beads. Lo’ak almost passed out from lack of air twice and your hair was so tangled by the end of the day that it took your mother three hours to undo the gnarly knots. It was totally worth it, however, because you gained new accessories and memories to match. But before you could let yourself get too far away in the past, you shifted your attention towards Lo’ak and began to speak.

“I see you, Lo’ak. I see all of you. I know that you feel like a lost soul and that you get too caught up in comparing yourself to the rest of your family. And I truly wished you didn’t compare yourself to others so much because you are so special.” Lo’ak’s face grew warm at your words. Before he could respond, you interrupted him and continued to talk. “You feel like you are too different from your family and think you do not fit in, but you do! You are the light of your family; you bring laughter and happiness. The Sully dynamic would not be the same without you–it would be too serious and no one would have fun! Lo’ak, you have a strong heart like your father. Even though you could use some impulse control, I know you never have ill intentions. We are still so young and have so much more maturing to do. Do not let yourself be defined by the mistakes of your past. Mistakes are bound to happen–they are as natural as birth and death. You’re the light of my life too. Without you, there is no one else in this clan that could make me smile as much as you do. No one to explore with and quench our thirst for curiosity. You say that you are impulsive, but there is too much excitement in your body to contain it. I love seeing your excitement and wander–it is a reminder of Pandora’s goodness and the way Eywa intended us to live. You are not irresponsible, you are just learning along the way like we all are. There is no one like you, and my heart is torn because you do not see yourself in the same way. I pray to Eywa that you could see yourself through my eyes.” You then placed one hand on Lo’ak’s chest, right above his heart.

“Nga yawne lu oer, Lo’ak.” There was no going back now. You said it–the words that would either be fatal to your soul or make your heart sore higher than the Hallejuah Mountains. And though there was a risk of Lo’ak rejecting you completely, you jumped off the fragile cliff that your friendship lived on. All the intimate moments, the knowing smiles, and the lifetime of shared memories led you to this moment.

A moment of silent pass as you waited for Lo’ak’s response to your confession. Lo'ak did not expect you to confess, but he knew at some point it was bound to happen. Just not right now, under these cruel circumstances, in a time of devastation.

You shouldn’t have confessed. Lo’ak wasn’t ready for it.

The look in your eyes was so sincere and so full of unconditional love. You are the only person who could truly see Lo’ak for everything that he is and everything he was meant to become. The light hit your eyes in the right way and Lo’ak could swear they were glittering. Ewya blessed her with both heart and beauty, he said in his head. Lo’ak could only stare as he still reeled from your heartfelt speech. He wasn’t an idiot—Lo’ak knew that there was a special chemistry between him and his best friend. And he also knew that it was the type of chemistry that only two people in love have. Lo’ak has known ever since he was a small child that you were his endgame. Your years spent together only solidified his hypothesis.

Life on Pandora could be unforgiving and unrelenting, but you were the complete opposite. You were forgiving, always ready to accept Lo’ak back into your arms and heart after every mistake he made. Though these mistakes were rarely made towards you, you still welcomed him every time. You were always there for him. But, Lo’ak didn’t fall in love with you because of the fact you were always there for him. It did play a big part, but Lo’ak knew that would be a selfish reason for falling in love. Instead, Lo’ak fell in love with you because you were…well, you. You were kind and always treated your fellow clan members with the utmost consideration and respect. You were perceptive, never wanting to misconstrue a situation and analyzing all nuances before speaking on something. Because of this, everything you said or did was genuine. Lo’ak loved this the most about you. Where Lo’ak felt everyone in the clan (excluding his family and Spider) give him fake niceties, you were 100% authentic towards him. You never condescendingly spoke to him or treated him like a chore that had to be put up with. Compassion and understanding were what you treated Lo’ak with. These are all things he rarely experienced with other Na’vi. Yet, you also weren’t afraid to call out Lo’ak on his bullshit and humble him. You somehow balanced outspokenness and tenderness all at once. This lit a fire in Lo’ak soul.

This thought both excited and scared him. The thought of loving someone unconditionally, and being loved unconditionally, seemed like something too good to be true. Only something reserved for people who deserved it. Lo’ak knew you deserved unconditional love, but it couldn’t be with him. Despite everything you said about him and the way it almost glued together his broken self-esteem, Lo’ak could not return your confession in good consciousness. It’s not that Lo’ak didn't love you–hell, he loves you more than anyone or anything on this moon! But, his insecurities would not allow you to love him or allow him to love you. He didn’t deserve to love or be loved, not when his insecurities kept up awake at night, taunting his brain with “You’ll never be good enough” or “You’re a failure of a son and brother.” You deserved better than Lo’ak and all of his broken parts. You needed someone who was the best–someone like Neteyam, but not Neteyam himself because that would be the final nail in Lo’ak’s coffin. Lo’ak knows his recklessness, impulsivity, and natural gravitation toward the unknown was acceptable because he is young. These may be the traits you love about Lo’ak now, but he knows very well these are the same traits that can make you fall out of love with him too. After all, you won’t be young forever and it won’t be cute forever. But what if he never grows out of this? What if this is who he is meant to be? No, Lo’ak would not subject you to this fate.

And so, for once in his life, Lo’ak let fear take over his decision. Your face morphed into an expression of shock and confusion before settling on a still face.

“I am sorry, syulang. I can’t do this right now.”

You watched Lo’ak retreat from the spot you both stood in. What the fuck just happened?

You spent the next few days in a strange haze as you processed what happened between you and Lo’ak. At first, you were angry. How could Lo’ak just leave you hanging like that? For Ewya’s sake, he could have said anything else and it would have been a better response than what he said. You laid your fucking heart out on your sleeve, waiting for Lo’ak to take it and claim it forever. After your initial response to the situation, you started to worry. Maybe you misinterpreted your relationship. What if Lo’ak didn’t love you and you just thought he did because of how close you were? No, that didn’t sound right. You knew Lo’ak loved you too. Not even in a delusional way to comfort yourself, but there was no denying you both loved each other. Did you just confess at the wrong time? Perhaps it would have been better if you confessed when Lo’ak wasn’t fighting with his father. But, you didn’t even mean to confess! Well, you did mean to confess but not at that exact moment. You were trying to comfort Lo’ak and reassure him that he was wrong, that someone could love him. It just seemed like the right thing to say. What if it wasn’t? What if it overwhelmed Lo’ak and pushed him away? Now you felt like the jerk for confessing at such a moment. But Lo’ak was a jerk too for just leaving you! You really wished you could talk to him, or that he would talk to you, but the timing was horrible. The war party went out a few days ago, and it was Lo’ak’s first time joining the mission. But of course, things never go as planned. Over-enthusiasm from Lo’ak’s and an injured Neteyam caused Mr. Sully to put Lo’ak on lockdown for the last few days. This was the first day Lo’ak was allowed some freedom to explore, that’s what Kiri told you before she left with her brother, Spider, and Tuk. You wanted to join them in their adventure today, but you were still reeling from your last conversation with Lo’ak and decided it would be better to stay in the village. You needed one more day to unscramble your thoughts before approaching him.

The tension between you and Lo’ak had been festering, but it quickly came to a stop once you saw him walk back into the village with his entire family. Jake and Neytiri walked walk in front of their children with heavy looks on their faces. Jake looked angry, yet worn at the same time. His mouth was pressed in a tight line and the wrinkles in his forehead looked more apparent than they ever have before. Neytiri walked beside Jake with Tuk’s hand in hers in a tight grasp, as if she never wanted to let her baby go ever again. Her expression was harder to read, but you could tell the tsakarem was worried by her stiff posture. Kiri trailed behind her parents with a slouchy form and arms across her torso. She looks dejected. And finally in the back were Neteyam and Lo’ak. Spider was nowhere to be seen, which you found odd as he went with the rest of the Sully children into the forest, but you assumed he must have gone back to the human outpost before curfew.

I wonder what happened. Something must have happened if the entire family walked in like that.

Jake and Neytiri quickly made their way to their kelku and closed the opening flaps before any of their children could come in. The Sully children then made their way toward the side of their kelku and leaned forward on their hands as they attempted to listen to their parent's conversation. You wanted to make your way towards them and figure out what the hell happened. Just as you were about to walk over to them, Lo’ak turned around and his eyes scanned the village as if he were looking for something or someone. Lo’ak’s eyes then met yours and with a small nod, you understood what he was trying to say. Later. At our spot.

Your stomach turned to bubbles as a feeling of cold anxiety washed over your body. You weren’t sure if it was because of Lo’ak or something else, but you knew whatever it was, it was not good.

Lo’ak was already sitting on the bioluminescent forest floor when you arrived at the small clearing which was designated as our spot. It was a hidden clearing–away from any of the main trails and hunting and gathering spots that the clan used. You first found the clearing one day after playing a round of hunter and prey with Lo’ak and Spider.

Flashback

You were both 12 years old. Your hair was cut in a sharp, shoulder-length bob because you claimed long hair only got in the way. A bright orange and yellow ombre feather decorated the underside of your hair. A simple beige-toned weaved top and matching ‘tewng adorned your small body as you ran away from Lo’ak. He loved playing the role of hunter–you assumed it because of the way Lo’ak looked up to his father. He wanted to be like the Olo’eyktan in every way possible. This was before their relationship had a strain in it. Both you and Lo’ak were unmarred from the harshness of war. The only thought that filled both of your minds was what adventure you would get into next.

As you giggled profusely and thought of where to run next, you noticed that you were in a different part of the forest that you never visited before. You searched for any familiar landmarks, or plants that would signify where you were. The giggles that previously escaped your mouth quieted down as the situation dawned on you. You were lost in the forest all alone! Your mom was going to kill you, but only if a nantang or palulukun didn’t kill you first.

“Lo’ak, are you there!!!!!,” you screamed at the top of your lungs. That probably wasn’t the smartest move. A predator could be attracted to your sound. But you figured it would be better to call for Lo’ak. If any predators came, you could climb a tree and wait it out.

“Lo’ak!!!” you continued. Worry was starting to creep in. If you didn’t find Lo’ak soon, there was no way you would be able to survive the night in the forest.

As you looked around the clearing again, you noted that it was quite pretty. A small pond, decorated with pink paysyuls, sat in the middle of the forest. The sun streamed through the trees and you could see the fishes elegantly swim in the water. A pack of loreyu sat directly across the pond, along with eanean bushes right next to it. The clearing was simple, but you knew that it was much more than that. Like everything else Eywa created, the clearing served a purpose and was spiritually connected to the Na’vi. Perhaps its purpose was unknown until this moment. You decided that the purpose of the clearing would be a secret spot only known to both you and Lo’ak. The thought excited you, and you quickly imagined a lifetime of moments here.

Flashback Over

Lo’ak sat with his arms extended behind him with his back facing you. You could see the tension in his back muscle as he sat there, looking up towards the night sky. One of Polyphemus’ moons was shaped like an ikran claw. Despite the moon’s brightness in the sky, the stars still twinkled. A soft, minty green glow emitted from the bioluminescent leaves Lo’ak sat upon. His tanhi, patterned perfectly on his body like Ewya directly hand placed each freckle herself, glowed like the sky above him. Lo’ak was lost in his thoughts as he silently spoke to Ewya, questioning what her intention was. You cleared your throat to grab Lo’ak’s attention.

“Hey…” he muttered under his breath. You replied with a soft hello before taking your place next to him. There was still an awkward tension lingering between the two of you, but you pushed it away. Whatever happened a few days ago didn’t matter anymore. You knew something serious happened in the Sully family and you knew your best friend needed you right now.

“Do you want to tell me what happened this time?” you quoted Lo’ak as you looked into his eyes for the first time in a few days. The dark lighting only enhanced the rich shade of his honey-colored eyes. They glowed brightly in the dark. His eyes resembled the shiny topaz glass jewels located deep in the rainforests’ many caverns–both were a sight to behold.

Lo’ak thought he should rip the bandage off. There was no point in delaying the traumatic news he just received from his parents.

“My family and I are leaving the forest.”

You were confused by his statement. Leaving where? There was no other place to go. The forest was your home, his home. “Do you mean that you’re visiting another tribe for diplomatic reasons,” you asked with a slight tilt in your head to match confusion. Why would this be so important that he needed to meet you at your spot? This wouldn’t be the first time the Sully family has left on diplomatic retreats.

“No, (Y/N). My family and I are leaving the forest permanently,” Lo’ak replied. Your heart dropped into the pits of your stomach. Now you were just getting annoyed. You haven’t spoken to Lo’ak in the days, and the first thing he does is try to pull at your leg. “Lo’ak if this is a joke, then it’s not funny. What are you talking about?” you said with a stern voice. Lo’ak stared at you as if he didn’t want to explain further. It’s true, he didn’t want to explain further because it meant that what was happening was real and there was no way to delay or stop the situation.

“Earlier today, when we were exploring the forest, we saw footprints in the dirt that didn’t belong to any Na’vi. It was sky demons. We followed the footsteps to an abandoned shack. I knew we weren’t supposed to be there, but then we spotted a group of uniltìranyu in military gear. I quickly paged my father and let him know what we found. But as we were trying to leave back to the forest, the uniltìranyu captured us and held us hostage…”

“What?” you let out in shock. The magnitude of Lo’ak’s words hit you like a poisoned arrow. Dreamwalkers? How could that be true? The last dream walker to walk the ground of Pandora was Jake Sully…and that was 14 years ago.

“I-I thought we were going to die. They treated us like we were animals. As if we were the ones who invaded their planet and deserved to be captured and hung. All I felt was primal fear and the instinctual reaction to protect my family. We were held hostage until my parents and brother came to our rescue. But, it was too late by then. They figured out who were and our relation to my father. They even captured Spider…” Lo’ak had to stop speaking. The familiar tightening of his throat began. You could tell he was about to cry, but you pushed further. Honestly, your brain was fuzzy at this point. It was so fuzzy to the point that you didn’t even process the news of Spider, your tiny human friend, being captured. It completely slipped your mind. You didn’t have time to think about the implications of this news as you could only process one thing and one thing only: Lo’ak was leaving. The Sullys were leaving!

“What does that have to do with you leaving the forest?”

“Don’t you understand, syulang? They know who we are. Our lives are at risk! The whole clan is at risk if we continue to stay.” Lo’ak explained in frustration. “I don’t want this, I don’t want to leave the only place I’ve ever known. How can I leave the forest while Spider is out there, going through Eywa knows what, with those demons? How can I leave you?” Fat, wet tears streamed down Lo’ak’s face as he spoke.

Crack. The sound of your heart breaking reverberated in your ears. All you could hear was a dull ringing. Your best friend, the love of your life–how could he just leave like that? You questioned the will of Eywa. How could she be so cruel to tear you both apart? Especially after your confession the other day? You wanted to curse and scream and cry all at once. However, you knew you had to be strong for Lo’ak.

You held Lo’ak’s body in silence. You were both in a catatonic state. An hour or so had passed since his initial confession. The atmosphere was serene, a heavy contrast from the dark storm brewing in both of your minds. This may be the last time you would ever get to hold Lo’ak like this and fully enjoy his presence. All of the years spent together slowly meshed in your mind as you tried to calm yourself down with memories of happier times. You honestly didn’t know how you could survive this life without your other half.

Lo’ak wasn’t faring any better than you. His continuous sniffles vibrated on your body. He barely looked up, wanting to savor the feeling of your bodies pressed together in such an intimate way. His mind was in a haze as he processed the situation. This wasn’t real life, it couldn’t be real life. His life was perfectly balanced with you. If Eywa sought to protect the balance of life, why would she take you away from him? Why would she take away Spider?

Tomorrow is never promised. That is a cruel lesson you learned today. It was probably best that you and Lo’ak head back to the village and sleep, but you didn’t want this night to end. You wanted to savor every last moment. Memorize every stripe on Lo’ak’s body, every green speck in his eyes, the way his eyebrows moved, and how his body felt right next to yours. How could you say goodbye to 14 years of memories in one night? It seemed impossible.

As you stared at the light reflecting off the pond, you knew there was one topic you had to broach. You weren’t sure if this was the right time, but it was the only chance you had. After all, Lo’ak only had one more day in the clan before his family set off to Eywa knows where. You knew the forest of Pandora held many clans, but you suspected his family would be going somewhere even further than that. You tried to calm the rapid pace of your heart, but your nerves refused to settle down. So, you sent a quick prayer to Ewya, turned to Lo’ak, and quietly said, “The other night, when I said I love you, why didn’t you say it back?”

You didn’t want to fight with Lo’ak–not on a night like this, where blood has been shed and a family has been torn from normalcy. But, you had to talk to Lo’ak about this. What if you never saw him again? You couldn’t live the rest of your life with unresolved feelings. It would drive you utterly insane and wreck your soul for as long as you live.

(Y/N)...”

“I’m being serious, Lo’ak. Why did not you say it back? I know this is the last thing on your mind right now, but you cannot leave me hanging. You owe me more than that and you know it,” you said with determination in your voice.

You then stood up. This was not a conversation you could have sitting down. The anxiety coursing through your veins made it impossible to sit still. Lo’ak followed your actions and stood up too.

“I was afraid,” he replied.

“Afraid of what Lo’ak? We have always been so honest with each other.” You thought you would always understand Lo’ak, but perhaps you were mistaken. You didn’t understand what there was to be afraid of. You both loved each other, shouldn’t that be enough? You failed to realize that love isn’t enough sometimes. There are forces beyond your control that make love unsustainable and out of your reach, despite how close you are to it. Eywa did not teach you this lesson. Lo’ak did.

Lo’ak was faced with two choices at this moment: he could confess his love to you or he could deny it. He so desperately wished he could choose the first choice. Something within him would not allow himself to whether it was because he was about to leave and he could not promise himself to you, or because he was so far deep in his inner turmoil. Lo’ak felt anger bubbling in his chest. This anger wasn’t directed towards you, but himself. He cursed his inability to allow himself to fully love you because of his internal issues. No, he justified the second choice in his mind with weak reasons as to why he could not confess his love.

If he said confessed, Lo’ak knew you would spend the rest of your days waiting for his return. If he ever returned. You deserved more than that. You deserved someone who could love you now. The prospect of you waiting for him, only for Lo’ak to stay the same Na’vi he was now, a version of himself that wasn’t proud of, haunted him. Yeah. Lo’ak framed his reasoning to focus on you, rather than himself because it made the harsh reality less painful. Damn the fact he was leaving, he would wait 100 years for you too if he confessed. The reality was Lo’ak could not confess his love because he couldn’t give his all to you, not when his judgment and self-worth were clouded by thoughts so dark that Eywa would be heartbroken to learn one of her children, whom she created with love and adoration, did not love himself.

Either way, he was about to break your heart for the second time within days.

“You are the other half of my soul and if there is any person who can understand me, it is you. But, I cannot love you. I’m sorry syulang.” There was a sorrowful look across Lo’ak’s face. Your body deflated at his words and the familiar sting of tears gathered in your eyes. He didn’t want to continue, but if was going to break your heart, you at least deserved a proper explanation.

“You are the most lovely and wonderful woman on this planet; the idea of you not being in my life hurts more than a palulukan attack. But I swear on my life to Eywa when I say this, but it is not you. It’s me. You have always been this positive being in my life, and I always hoped it would rub off on me and make me a better man. I thought, maybe if that ever happened, we could be together in the future. I would finally be worthy of all the love you have to offer. I am not good enough for you. I would only drag you down with the weight of my heavy problems,” Lo’ak finished.

“But it’s not your choice to decide who deserves me,” you let out with an exasperated tone. “How can you stand here in front of me and deny the bond we have? The love we have? The other day when I confessed that I see you and you ignored it, I brushed it off my shoulder because I was sure, with every fiber of my being, that you see me too. That you love me. But now you are leaving, and Eywa knows when the fuck you are coming back, and you can't even admit it out loud?” you questioned.

“Don’t you get it? I am not doing this because I want to deny the bond we have. I feel our bond every day from the time I wake up to the time I go to sleep. Even in my dreams, you are there. Your essence is built into the foundation of my bones. I just can’t love you. No good would come of it. I’m the clan’s outcast. Yes, we are best friends and we know each other like the back of our palms. But I won't let you carry the burden of my imperfectness,” Lo’ak choked with a sob at the end.

Without missing a beat, you tirade, “I think everything you are saying is complete bullshit. How could be absolute about something that has not been realized? We have spent the last 14 years together. I know you better than I know myself, Lo’ak. And I know you see me too, so what are you so afraid of? There is nothing that you could ever do that would scare me away from loving you. I love you for who you are–flaws and all. I notice everything about you, the good and the bad. I know you have feelings so big and nerve-wracking that you do not know how to handle them except by convincing yourself that they are true. But you cannot stand in my face and claim that this is for my own good. No, you are saying all this because you are too scared of the possibility that I might see through all that and decide that you are not worth the trouble, that every judgment the clan and your father says about you is right.”

You stepped a few feet away from Lo’ak and then turned towards the direction of the village. He hadn’t said a word since you finished your speech. Your entire back was facing Lo’ak until you turned your head over your shoulder to look back at him. The tears that pooled in your eyes began to flow like a sad waterfall that was dying, the tears slowly rolling down your stripped cheeks in an antagonizing matter. Your golden eyes stared into Lo’ak’s. He could see the hurt etched across your iris and he was sure his eyes looked just as pathetic and broken. It was a moment that would forever be engrained into Lo’ak’s memory. You opened your mouth and delivered the final blow to this already crestfallen night,

“Maybe I was wrong, maybe you don’t see me. Because if you truly did, you would know that I would not care about your weaknesses. I don’t even care about them now. I refuse to believe that you cannot love me too. You are a lot of things Lo’ak. A coward is not one of them. I’ll see you tomorrow to say goodbye.”

And at this moment, Lo’ak knew this was the biggest of all his fuck ups. He had managed to ruin a lot of good things and moments. Never knowing when the party is over and when the business began. When it came to you, his sweet tìyawn, Lo’ak never made any serious mistakes. So why was he doing it now? Lo’ak’s eyes burned as he stared at your figure walking away from him and the future you could’ve had together.

translations: eylan - friend, Olo’eyktan - male clan leader, tstxa'a - canalyd, kelku - home, palulukan - thanator, syulang - flower, loreyu - helocordian, skxawng - moron, Toruk Makto - toruk rider, Palulukun Makto - thanator rider, Tsahik - clan spiritual leader, Nga yawne lu oer - i love you, tsakarem - successor to the tsahik, ‘tewng - loincloth, nantang - viperwolf, paysyuls - water lily, eanean - blue plant, tanhi - bioluminescent freckle, uniltìranyu - dream walker, tìyawn - love

credits for dividers: leafs (x) green line (x)

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goopyedgay · 2 months

Text

I feel sentimental I'm sorry but–

You don't know how happy these stupid guys make me, I don't know why, simply seeing them causes me immense joy in any circumstance, in any medium, they make me smile at my worst moment.

It's funny because when I read Hell Park for the first time I completely ignored them, and my favorite character was Tweek (which is why he is the protagonist of my AU Coven Park), but for some reason when I read Hell Park again, their dynamic caught my attention and I loved them.

Gregory and Estella inspired me immensely, even daring to make my own AU just because of them, what for me was a way to avoid problems and harassment became something ambitious that I am currently working on and trying to give my all.

and not only that, they also inspired me to create my ocs and an equally ambitious story that I have in mind, in case anyone was wondering, these are the ocs that I mainly based on Gregory and Estella to create them lol

And all that thanks to two stupid characters from a canceled South Park AU, honestly, I don't know how I would be if I hadn't met them, it's impossible for me to imagine knowing that they have influenced my life from the end of 2021 until today, this was one of my first drawings 🥲

I know that the issue of the Gregstella ship is somewhat dense, although I don't classify it as "problematic" because I consider that it doesn't even reach that sick level that they want to label it so much. And I know that I am perhaps the most directly responsible for having popularized the ship, and I apologize for that, it was not my intention to attract weird people, because yes, I have seen that quite questionable people have come to like the ship, or at least less so on this side of the pond, but I refrain from interacting with them because I simply don't want to and I have seen very unpleasant things coming from those people.

I would be lying if I said that I no longer like hp gregstella, I think it is something inevitable, even knowing that it is wrong, it is something that I cannot help, but nevertheless, I no longer urge people to ship them, but I also do not harass those who they do it. I think people can do whatever they want as long as it doesn't cross the boundaries of what is considered healthy. So yeah, I still kinda like hp gregstella, but I doubt I'll make content of them in the future, maybe I never will (and I never actually did, other than edits), maybe I'll start drawing them again more frequently since the annoying comments stopped, but I will never make hp gregstella content, but if I do one day, at least you will see it coming i guess 🤧

To the point I no longer care what people think of me, nor do I care to be in the Hell Park fandom, but I am aware that a large part of the fandom likes my art and inevitably I am part of it, so it also makes me happy that people appreciate my drawings despite everything, I love you, especially to the gregstella shippers who follow me and who I talk to (who are mostly lesbians just like me, a little ironic lol) 😭💕

I just want to do what makes me happy, and if people are bothered by what makes me happy, you can just block me, no hard feelings. I will continue drawing my silly couple, because it is the closest thing I will experience to love, being aromantic, I like to write couples with interesting dynamics, but being part of one? No thank you 😦

I finish with this little animation I made of Gregory and Estella from Coven park, for whoever took the time to read this, thank u and gn

#I wasn't supposed to put hashtags but okay #gregstella #coven park #gregory of yardale #estella havisham

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daydream-cement · 1 year

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Hell-o! Not sure if you are still taking one shot requests but I wanted to request a Larissa x reader one where reader is a teacher and she confesses her feelings to Larissa but Larissa rejects her because she didn’t want to be unprofessional in the workplace or something. Reader just accepts it and after a while decides to go on a date with someone else and it makes Larissa jealous so she finally confesses to reader too and they get together. (Can you add some fluffy smut in the end pls?) thank you!

Done Equivocating

Larissa Weems x teacher!reader (smut)

Authors Note: I am trying to create some of my smuttier content in a more genderless way. Let me know how I did.

You were proud of yourself. Tonight you were on a date for the first time since Larissa rejected you. You had met a lawyer in town when you were at the Weathervane and they asked you out on a date. The night was enjoyable for the most part. You hadn't felt much chemistry, but you were completely distracted after you saw Larissa walk in. The memory of her rejection came flooding back.

-------

"Would you be willing to go on a date with me, Larissa?" You finally worked up the courage, asking after a one-on-one meeting with your boss.

"I... uh- Y/n, I- I don't believe it would be professional." Larissa bit her bottom lip. Truly she wanted to say yes, but she was a little too scared to get her heart broken.

"Oh..." You didn't know what you were expecting.

"I'm sorry. I-"

"No. It's alright." You turn on your heels, escaping that room as quickly as possible.

-------

"Are you alright?" Your date asked, trying to make eye contact. Now you were looking at Larissa, and she was looking at you. Her eyes narrowed when she saw that you were clearly on a date.

"Oh, yes... I'm fine..." You refocus your attention back on the lawyer, trying to remain in the moment with them.

The date went by quickly. They even drove you back to Nevermore, but after seeing Larissa you weren't all that interested in a second date. You couldn't stop thinking about her which was beginning to make you angry. You bid your date goodbye and went straight to your rooms.

Once back home, you settled into a chair, kicking off your shoes and unbuttoning your shirt. You were so frustrated and confused. Why would Larissa give you that look? Was she mad you were on a date with someone?

Your thoughts were interrupted by a knock on your door. With a sigh, you push yourself up out of your chair. You pulled the door open and your annoyed look fades when you see that it's Larissa.

"Y/n..."

"Larissa."

"May I come in?" She asked, looking over your shoulder to see if anyone was in your room with you.

"Yeah, sure." You shrug, pushing the door open so Larissa can come in. Once she enters, you shut the door behind her, "What can I help you with?"

"I'm done equivocating. I saw you were on a date tonight..." Larissa tried to remain her typically restricted self, but her thoughts came flooding out of her mouth, "And I hope I'm not too late, but I'm starting to realize that I don't want to see you with anyone else."

Your arms were folded in front of your chest. You wanted to be mad, but finally you dropped your arms, "Larissa, I mean, you rejected me weeks ago. What do you want me to say?"

You wanted to jump into her arms and kiss her senseless, but you restrained yourself, hoping for more of an explanation.

Larissa took a step closer and took you by the shoulders, "I just- fuck professionalism, okay? I find you incredible. I want to be with you."

"Larissa, I- I want to be with you too..." You replied with a smile, and you didn't have a moment to even think before you were in her arms, her lips pressed to yours.

------

In all your making-out, Larissa had pushed you back on the bed. You moved so you were side by side, hands wandering each others bodies, but your lips never parted.

You hadn't messed around with anyone like this since you were a teenager. Larissa's hand cautiously moved down to your ass which encouraged you to begin to feel up her breasts. She let out an encouraging hum, wanting you to to keep going.

Larissa slipped a tongue into your mouth, pulling her hand away from your ass so she could pull you deeper into the kiss. You moaned with delight, wanting more from her.

Bravery surged through you, you allowed a hand to slide down between her legs, feeling her up over her pants. Larissa growled into your mouth, "More."

You follow her lead, moving both hands to her pant button and zipper, undoing them with ease. You then slip a hand down the front of her pants, finding her clit through her underwear. You press down and rub gently causing Larissa to pull away from your kiss with a moan.

You became excited, moving your hand back and sliding it under her panties. Her pussy was so wet and for a moment you were wondering if this was all actually happening. When Larissa moaned once more, you were brought back to reality.

You shifted your fingers down, inserting one then two into her dripping sex. You then used the heel of your hand to gently massage her clit.

Larissa pulled you in for another searing kiss, moaning deeper into your mouth as you pleased her. You wanted to make her cum badly. You slip your, now wet, fingers from her sex and began focusing your affection on her clit.

Larissa must have been anticipating this for a while because she came quickly under your touch, letting a final groan. Much to your surprise, Larissa grabbed your wrist, pulling your fingers up into her mouth. God, she was so hot.

Your eyes widen as she pulled them from her mouth, her next statement taking you aback, "Your turn..."

#larissa weems x reader #larissa weems #wednesday netflix #fanfic #oneshot #gwendoline christie #larissa weems smut

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ponderingmoonlight · 4 months

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Thank you to everyone who supported my blog in 2023 🤍

I can't put into words how much I love every single one of you for your support. No matter if you like one fic of mine or my whole blog, no matter if you write me anon or leave a comment. Let me tell you that I appreciate every minor interaction with the stuff I create over here 🤍

When I started this blog in September (I think lol) I was so scared of sharing my thoughts. But you were supportive right from the start, encouraging me to follow my ideas even in times I didn't feel like it. You might not even know how much you helped me through dark times, how much your constant support lifted me up and helped me getting over the shit that happened 2023 (like Shibuya damn). You have become such an important variable in my life that this blog is literally like a baby to me 😭

Thank you for sticking with me through 2023. I hope you'll stay in the new year as well 🤍

Also, I'd like to take this moment to pay a special thanks to my lovely moots:

@belovedvamp I know we basically just started talking, but you seem like such a fun person and I totally relate to your Yuta affection lol. Thank you for supporting my works through your constant likes, comments, reblogs and requests. I hope we'll stay in touch this new year 🤍

@risuola you are such a sweetheart. Not only is your writing chef's kiss and you were one of my first ever obsessions here on Tumblr (you are still lol), but you make me laugh and cry like no other. You literally seem like such a fun person and put a smile of my face the second you post. Please keep up being so damn cool and please NEVER stop writing those amazing fanfics 🤍

@kawaiiakamaru we aren't moots for that long but you are supporting me for so long. Just seeing a comment or a blog entry from you makes me happy, as well as your cute profile pic (please never change it hehe). Your first ever fic was absolutely amazing, please keep up the good work and make sure to tag me in your new fics of this year 🤍

@sorrowfulrosebud it's funny how we met through that dang annoying anon who still keeps bugging you lol. In some kind of way, I'm actually thankful for them. Not because of the nonsense they are getting on your nerves with, but because I got to get in touch with your wonderful blog. You are funny, you seem passionate and are so talented like it's absolutely insane! I hope you finally get to live in peace on your blog and continue blessing my timeline 🤍

@ynackerman9499 first of all let me tell you how absolutely sorry I am for not publishing any of your requests recently. They're all so good I literally don't know where to start 😭 you are such a sweet person, our little talk made me giggle the entire time and I love that we basically have the same taste in anime and anime men hehe. Thank you for supporting my blog and especially looking out for me the whole time, I hope we'll talk again soon 🤍

@sitarawrites you actually were one of my first moots over here and our conversations were priceless. I was so happy when you finally decided to share your great works with us! You are truly such a talented writer who makes us feel the emotions of our favorite jjk characters like none other. Also, I love that you are a badass bitch who takes no shit from others. You are actually my example when it comes to badass characters 😭 I wish you all the best and hope that you get the love, appreciation and clamness you deserve in 2024 🤍

@sunshine7queen you are my no 1 supporter since day one and I love you from the bottom of my heart for it 😭 Everytime I open up my tumblr and see that you left a comment under my works (like you literally always do), I get excited immediately, like why is it so fun to chat with you. Also, you share the greatest treasures when it comes to cool artwork or other fics: you're my greatest source for great content over here! Let me thank you for every comment, every like and every reblog and how you always make me feel good about myself. You are a true sweetheart, stay the way you are and have the lovliest new year 🤍

@wifenanami your obsession for Nanami is just as great as mine and I love you for it. But not only that, you are my number one when it comes to Nanami requests and therefore fics on this blog. Literally half of my Nanami fics exist because of your great request that make me laugh and warm my heart while shattering it and making me cry. Also, your artwork is way too good for this world. Sometimes I go through my requests just to see your pics 😭 Thank you for making my 2023 better with your comments, your aesthetic blog and your request. I hope you're sticking with me through 2024 as well 🤍

@selen1um-hexafluoride you are such a funny person, your blog entries made my day so often that I lost count. Let me tell you that your unnecessary opinions definetely matter to me and that I enjoy every single one of them. You write your hcs like a pro, I literally can't wait to see more of you. Please don't stop writing and make sure to tag me in your works (when you find out how hehe) 🤍

@sanicsmut girl, you're the love of my life. Seriously, since that day you decided to comment under my first ever Choso works you've been by my side and supported my works even though they didn't have your favorites (=Choso and Hiromi lol) in them. Even though we don't chat that often, I love your lil comments under my shitpostings as well as I love to see what's going on over there on your blog. You seem like such a funny talented person it's seriously unfair 😭 Also, see this as a petition for you to post more artwork of yours because it's GORGEOUS! Love ya, thank you for all the support and let me see you again this year 🤍

@lees-chaotic-brain oh Petra, you are such a sweet, passionately and badass chick it makes me all emotional. You were my first moot over there and stuck with me ever since. Even though we didn't talk much these last weeks because we're both pretty stressed, I still adore you and our conversations with all my heart. You are such a strong person, going through all this hate of last year with confidence, not letting anyone getting you down that you have been a true example for me. Despite all the things you've been through, despite all the shit you have to endure, you're still so fucking strong and I truly admire you for it! Also, you are one of my all time favorite writers here on Tumblr - no one does it like you! Let me take this opportunity to thank you. Thank you for being my first ever moot, thank you for listening when nobody else did, thank you for the amazing content you gift us with. I'm so glad I met you and I am beyond glad that you are the person that you are. Let nobody ever take your spark away from you (and I publicy promise to finally get your request done) 🤍

@lizziespoem we didn't hear much from each other the last few weeks, but let me tell you how proud I am that you're looking out for yourself and that you put yourself first. Even though I miss your gorgeous fanfics and to just talk to you, I hope with all my heart that you are doing well my german tumblr bestie (melde dich gerne mal wenn du Zeit und Lust hast) 🤍

@hitori979 you're truly making me emotional. You have to be one of the few people who supported me from day one. Your endless comments, you defending me, you liking my whole stuff. Like...I can't even put into words how much you mean to me. I know how busy you are and that you rarely find the time to scroll through Tumblr and get in touch with my works, but you always make sure that I feel appreciated. Even though you don't even know me (and how I just realized I don't even know your name) you check on me from time to time and cheer me up when I feel down. I love our little conversations about jjk manga, I love your opinion on basically EVERYTHING and I love how geniuely funny you are. Let me tell you that your support means the world to me and that I get excited just when reading your blog name. Let me tell you that your ideas inspire me and are actually the source of like half of my best works! You seem like such a smart and empathic person. I really hope the new year brings you less work stress and all the things you ever wish for. You deserve the world, love. And I will be forever thankful for you finding my blog and deciding to support me through everything 🤍

@lavenderdrxp thank you thank you thank you for your likes, reblogs and comments. I loved our lil chitchat and actually enjoyed chatting with you so much that I hope we'll be able to do it anytime soon again 😭 Also, let me promise you that I'll publish your request this year hehe. Have the happiest new year with new episodes of our favorite anime coming soon 🤍

Okay, now I'm crying a lil on my own. Just...thank y'all. Have the nicest 2024 ever 😭

#jjk #jujutsu kaisen #jujutsu kaisen x reader #jjk x reader #2023 recap #I love all of you #i love my mutuals #moots #tumblr friends #you're the best <3

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sappholily · 10 days

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my opinions on watcher tv

i don't want to sound like a parrot and repeat things others have said so eloquently, but i do have a lot of opinions and questions. i hope you don't mind this post.

first and foremost, i am an artist and creator just like the boys, just like staff at watcher, and just like many watcherinas. i understand everyone who says "we didn't ask for this high quality, overly-produced stuff, we just wanted you". i feel the same way. but as an artist, i would hate having to create stuff that i'm not comfortable with and don't enjoy, just because it makes me money. i would want the freedom to create whatever without having to worry about bills. don't we all?

if ghost files and the production value is what they are satisfied in, i can't then come in and say "just don't do that". it's a creative outlet for them, it's what they want, and it's their creative freedom.

on the other hand, however, i can't imagine how they're spending 100k on per ghost files episode. maybe if they broke it down, more of us would understand where they're coming from? i get plane tickets and hotel rooms are expensive, but if someone would've told me to guess, i would've said maybe 10k-50k per episode. still a lot, but certainly not 100k.

i also understand everyone who says "you have to pay an artist for their work". of course! i am willing to pay, like i said in another post. i've been saving up for a professor plushie for the longest time! but when something doesn't seem worth it, i'm not motivated to pay for it. to me, paying $60/year for a few shows is not something that is viable for me. what is and was viable for me was watching ads, even if they were annoying.

but also, when will the new shows come to their platform? if they're short on money, does that then mean that the new shows won't be on the platform for a while? what's the timeline?

for a big change like this, it would've made more sense for them to ease into it. if they really wanted to have their own streaming service, why remove the shows that we've had access to for years? (and i understand that they're not physically removing the shows, but they're putting every other season on this platform i can't afford). why not keep existing shows on youtube and have other shows (behind the scenes stuff, worth it, etc) on their streaming platform? or even created patreon-exclusive shows?

another big question i have is did they consider other options? right now, it feels like they didn't. they didn't ask "would you be willing to pay more on patreon?" they didn't tell us "hey this isn't financially viable, what would you like to see from us (merch, new shows, exclusive patreon shows)?" they didn't promote their patreon outside of the end of episodes of shows to promote bloopers. i wish they had kept us in the loop about what was happening. i wish they had treated us like the community that they said we were. that's maybe a little parasocial of me, but after all, they're creating content for us (per their words), so wouldn't it make sense to tell us what was going on? idk.

like i said in another post, i was once part of their patreon because i enjoyed the bloopers and behind the scenes. i eventually stopped for a couple of reasons, but mainly because i could no longer afford the $5/month. and this is coming from someone who does not subscribe to multiple different platforms (as i've seen others say; "if you can afford to have multiple different subscriptions you don't need..."). i only subscribe to things that i absolutely love, though for a few months now, i haven't been subscribed to anything because i can't afford it. most of the content i watch is on youtube. i'm not someone who watches shows on the regular, i'm not someone who tunes in to the newest show (still haven't watched euphoria, still haven't watched the new loki season, etc). so paying for something like disney+ would simply be ridiculous for me. i don't have a daily coffee spending budget, i don't subscribe to things, i don't spend money because i cannot afford it. i'm not the only one.

i'm sure they researched the different options, specifically between starting their own streaming service versus joining another existing service. what i feel like they didn't do is research their own audience. even one single youtube poll would've been great.

overall, i just wish they had gone about this differently and had warned us or told us "hey we're thinking of starting a streaming service, what do you guys think?" or something. it's very frustrating to feel like this came out of nowhere. so many watcherinas are coming up with so many creative ideas to make watcher more money, and i'm sure they would've gathered those ideas and taken them to heart had they asked.

but i'm also not going to wish they fail. i also understand that they are their own people with different needs, etc., so i'm not going to send them hate, and should they go through with this decision despite the backlash, i will support them even if i can't participate. it is what it is, and though i will be sad, i can't do anything about it, therefore i won't lose sleep over it.

i hate that everyone is putting the blame on steven. i understand the frustrations of not wanting to watch wealthy men parade their wealth during an economic crisis, then ask for money to do said activities, but he isn't the only one making major decisions. (unless he is and we just don't know?) but the blame shouldn't be put all on him when he had to greenlight it with the others (again, unless he didn't and we just don't know, though i doubt that a lot).

i really hope they succeed. i wish them all the best, i'm just mourning rn lmfao 😭

anyway, what do y'all think?

#watcher tv #watcher entertainment #watcher #shane madej #ryan bergara #steven lim

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magnet-lattice · 3 days

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(Lifesteal s5 spoilers for my understanding of The Players' plans, from catching incomplete sections of streams and osmosis. I do not think this is spoilers for any of them but I am not keeping up very well, so please correct me if I am wrong and I'll edit this. It's a little bit rambly, sorry.)

So, aside from the unrequited pitchflirting, my understanding of the Players' main finale plans are that they want to remove all of the buildings and restore the server or at least the main areas to looking the way they did at the start of the server, before anyone built anything. And this has some justification about like being a fresh start to the world, aside from the fact that it's a cool dramatic thing to do, but also!

It's really neat how the thing it does is specifically making the server look as though nobody ever played on it. Because the Players' whole thing, their primary conflict with primarily Jumper and Minute (I don't think they have a team name?) is that they're the only people willing to play heel, to do cool evil dramatic shit that other people can make content by fighting against, and almost everyone else (no offense intended to Squiddo or Wemmbu but they haven't been on much lately?) is either neutral, inactive, or insistently playing face?

And in the arguments between the players and Jumper and Minute, it has come up that the opposing side wants to end the server without conflict, and the Players' argument in favor of what they're doing is that it's interesting content which creates a reason for the other players to log on and participate. (This has consistently been their motivation since early in the Abyss arc)

And I think that in addition to the other justification, restoring the world to look untouched is a pretty powerful statement of "This is what you're advocating for the world to be: one where nobody ever logs on and does anything or fights or builds things that matter."

(In the interest of fairness, I know Minute was talking about like, getting people onto the server by having temporary mods during the sessions, and Branzy does have his carnival, and I do enjoy this content, but... at least to me, the fundamental strength of Lifesteal content qua Lifesteal (Minecraft's deadliest SMP), as a reason to be watching this rather than something else-- like a modded or survival series that happens to be made by the same people-- is the social effects of a bunch of people who are mostly tryhards in a competitive environment that encourages conflict and teaming and subterfuge and paranoia and big dramatic clickbaitable gestures?)

(I do in fact think it's fun and interesting when there are some people on Lifesteal who care about morality and want to do the nice thing! This is a fun source of conflict! I just... think it's more fun when that's not the majority of people who are logging on and doing anything, because then there's the risk of them uncomplicatedly winning, or successfully preventing or mitigating or discouraging the majority of the dramatic evil/annoying stuff, and then nothing happening? Lifesteal content is primarily about conflict. It's maybe a little more fun when the people involved have in-universe justifications that are not just "it's for content", painting the fourth wall with a thin veneer of "it's because it's cool and asserts our power" or some galaxybrained self-serving philosophical/metaphorical justification explaining why this supervillain stuff is the real moral thing to do, or whatever? But it's still fun as long as people are like, logging in and doing stuff and fighting or arguing with each other, and maybe having some big feelings? and at least one person is live or making videos so we can see what's happening)

#Lifesteal SMP

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starridge · 9 months

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i am going to say something very controversial, but no one owes you attention or likes or a following.

i’ve noticed on instagram there’s been a recent trend of artists posting content like “i didn’t spend four hours on this just to get two likes” while showcasing their art, or complaining about how the algorithm hates them when they’re literal children with 100 followers.

i think it’s because instagram and twitter and tiktok are the primary places for posting art now, which are all algorithm-driven and give them illusion that anyone can blow up at any time and get a huge following from it, which is somewhat true, but results in beginner artists complaining about not having the same engagement as meme pages. they’re completely different, but algorithm based social media means that all the content is mixed together, so it can feel like they’re competing regardless. back when dedicated sites for art like deviantart existed, the users were already there to find art, and by joining groups and posting your art there, it could go directly to the target audience. that’s why artists have a much easier time on tumblr than on instagram, you can target your art to a nice because not only can you tag your art, but people can follow specific tags.

but all of that aside, when artists on instagram complained about the algorithm originally, it was people upset that, as demonstrated by instagrams statistics for their posts, a majority of their followers weren’t seeing their posts, not that their posts weren’t blowing up. growing a following on social media is hard, getting into favor with the algorithm that throws your art out to random people is hard. not everyone will get a following, and you have to be okay with that. you have to be okay with the fact that sometimes your audience will just be the 20 people that interact with your posts, ESPECIALLY when youre a kid. of course everyone posts on social media to get engagement, but you should be drawing and creating for yourself. if you get wrapped up in making what you think will make you go viral, you won’t improve or feel good about your art.

i’ve been an online artist since i was literally 10, and only started getting attention when i was 16, and only hit 10k followers when i was 19. even if you are one of the lucky ones who gets attention, it takes time. it also takes improvement. my art when i was 13 wasn’t good enough to warrant having a following count in the five digits, i was learning and improving. as my skill improved, more people liked my art enough to want to stick around. you need to put into perspective where you are on your artistic journey. if you’re 16, you have the rest of your life ahead of you. don’t focus solely on getting a following, focus on improving your craft and becoming the artist you would want to follow.

also for the love of god stop guilt tripping people into following you and interacting with your posts, you’re only pushing people away and annoying them.

#idk if this makes sense feel free to respond or add on or ask stuff OTL #long post

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educating-bimbos · 7 months

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The Pinned Post 2

new pinned post because tumblr hid my old one from my view so I can't see, edit it, or reblog it to add an addendum. I only have a few things to add, so I am just going to copy and paste it.

Who is Educating Bimbos?

My name is Nicolette. I am a technical artist, musician, and an outdoorsy type of gal. I enjoy the finer things in life, and I fancy myself a traditional woman and a bimbo. I don't really enjoy mindlessly obsessing over labels, but if it helps people gauge where my brain is at, I am pro-patriarchy, in favor of traditional gender roles and dynamics, an ex-feminist, and before all else a believer in one's ability to exercise personal freedoms. My beliefs, mannerisms, and presentation attract the ire of feminists, born-again-religious types, and any number of anti-fun douchebags. At the end of the day, just remember that behind this silly blog is a silly person.

What is Educating Bimbos?

It is a blog and small community of bimbos looking to learn more about and express a traditional lifestyle. It is also about people who may not be familiar with or comfortable around things like BDSM get a nice and soft introduction to it without being exposed immediately to the idea of how people can enjoy things in a pseudo-sexual context. At the end of the day, it is a blog and community where I and other like-minded people can express silly ideas without the fear of being lambasted by people seeking to harm others.

Where is Educating Bimbos?

Educating Bimbos can be found in one of these two places.

Why is Educating Bimbos?

Well for a while I was annoyed by the lack of communities that focused on a kind of "hyper-feminine" aesthetic while also promoting more traditional ideas. There was also the issue of communities that have tried this before of devolving into bigoted and abusive communities that would do everything under the sun to create an insular and ToS breaking community. I spoke with a friend of mine who runs a similar community a while ago and she inspired me to give this a shot. Now - close to 3 years later - I have a steadily growing community that pulls from all corners of ideology, cultural, ethnic, and interest level and the discord has been almost completely drama-free in its whole existence.

When is Educating Bimbos?

I am alive and doing silly stuff all day, every day. Except when it is nap time in which case I will be in the realm of dreams.

What's an ex-lesbian and why do you call yourself that?

For a number of very personal reasons, I have decided to call myself an ex-lesbian. I did this of my own volition, and I was not pressured into doing so. For a long time, I had thought of myself as a lesbian, mostly because of socialization and how all the girls around me were so might as well follow suit. I experienced a number of harmful and traumatic events when I considered myself a lesbian and it effected how I view myself. After a while and talking to some friends who I trust dearly, I came to the realization that I am not a lesbian and that it really isn't a thing I identify with the same way others do. I am still trying to come to grips with that given I only relatively recently had that realization. I also feel that people use that term in bad faith to harm people and to push bad narratives and ideas so I thought "hey might as well try and take back what should be an innocuous phrase."

In short, I think an ex-lesbian is just a way of identifying one's sexuality similar to asexuality or demisexuality. It is not that I am one sexuality or another, it's that my sexuality is defined by my experience and coming of age.

I have had a number of people confront me about this, talk to me about it in sincere curiosity, and even attack me. I welcome anyone who is curious or has a genuine contention to come to me in DMs, I am not a mean person, and I will love to talk honestly and respectfully. I find that disagreement is not grounds to discredit or avoid befriending people, I hope you can do the same.

Further questions for Educating Bimbos?

If you find that these questions are unsatisfactory in any regard, or you wish to try your hand at doing what I do, follow these two links!

Ask me anything!

Ask me anything you want! I have some personal rules with regards to what I can and cannot upload, but this is generally the best way for me to answer any question you may have. I also have anonymous asks enabled just in case you are shy.

Submit a post!

If you think I should be made aware of something, post something, or if you just want to signal boost something try this. So far, I have no real rules or expectations so do whatever you want with this button.

#educatingbimbos #femininity #tradfem #housewife #traditional gender roles #stepford wife #traditional femininity #traditional women #ask a bimbo #bimbocore #ex lesbian #ex feminist

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barblaz-arts · 7 months

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Hey, I tried to message you this, but my phone is dumb and sorry if I spammed you! But I love your work, and I don't want to take any credit, but here's my fanfiction on your work of how Vega and Elosie met.

"Hey, Vega! There's where you've been hiding!" I feel my right ear flick at the annoying voice. We're literally five feet apart he doesn't need to shout.

He giggles to himself and I feel his body drape over my shoulder and I harshly elbow him at the contact.

He whimpers briefly and then chuckles as he covers the brusing area with a hand. His drink in the other sloshes a little as he staggers back.

"Piss off, Duke. I already came to this annoying function, because I gave your mom my word that I'd watch out for you at school," I growl as I look over toward the pit.

The natural collection of jagged rocks in a circle created a perfect pit for, you guessed it, parties hosted by drunk dumb teens in the middle of the black forest. The area keeps the bonfire large but safe from spreading to the forest and its great to keep the crowd together, but apart enough so loners like me can observe safley at the tree Iine.

The various teens shout and laugh as the light causes some eyes to reflect in the dark. The myriad of smells clog up my nose. Doesn't anyone teach them there's a thing as too much perfume?

He pouts and the flames reflect in is dark glasses. Tomorrow his baggy grey sweatshirt will be gone and the purple and black Nevermore uniforms will decorate the halls of the newest supernatural generation.

"You know you didn't have to come. My mom wouldn't have known," he rubs his hand on his neck.

"An Addams never breaks a promise," I snarl as I watch the untouched contents of my cup swirl. That, and mother would totally kill me.

I know mom would be upset too and her disappointed puppy eyes are one of the few things that I would make me rather be trampled on by an angry mob.

Now. That's a party.

Duke shakes his head,"You're not having any fun, are you?" He runs a hand through his wavy hair causing it to be even more of a mess.

No. None at all. I'd rather be sniffing around school for hidden things that weren’t on the freshmen tour. Like the hidden society that mother claimed was so easily spotted it was a joke.

"The seniors throw this Homecoming party for new and returning students. It's a tradition to go. Even as irritating as it is." I reply.

"Vega," he sighs. He takes my cup and throws it over his shoulder.

"Your littering." I state as I walk around him and pick up the plastic. I hate it when people defile mother earth.

"Listen, leave. I'm safe here. Just because my mom is your godmother doesn't mean you need to stick around a place that's making you miserable."

I can feel my brow twitch, "I am not. Plus this isn't nearly as fun as you say it is."

He pushes down his glasses and his green eyes reflect the orange flames, "Don't make me use my siren voice."

I stiffen and growl, "Don't you dare. Yoko would kick your ass if you did that to me."

He smirks and puts them back on, "Maybe. But seriously, I'll be fine! Go run around in the woods and dig up a grave or something!"

"YO!" We all turn our heads as a large gorgon holds out a whimpering girl, "Looks like we got a normie crashing the party!"

A few whistles and snarls of irritation echo off of the rocks. The boy throws her down in front of the flames and Duke winces as the girl face plants in the dirt. The crowd approaches her with manic glee.

Someone turns off the music and the cracks of the fire are the only sound.

I know the smell of bloodlust. I usually salivate at the feel of it but this time? It's not worth it to someone whose innocent.

The gorgon jumps down to her feet and crouches. His hat rattles and his eyes grow to slits. "Why are you here, human?"

She whimpers, "S-someone was-s following me and I heard the music-c."

He laughs, "What and you expect me to believe that you'd cross into Nevermore territory willingly?"

"My phone died and I got lost!" She tries to defend. She crab crawls away. Her wide blue eyes scan the area for any allies, "I was at a party and-d,"

A few watch on with smirks, other with disinterested and some in awkward uncomfortableness. The town is still split but not as bad as it should've been.

He stands up and laughs, "You should’ve stayed with your kind."

"Vega." Duke hisses. But before he can grab my hand I leap the impressive distance down.

The gorgon pauses as I calmly stroll forward.

"Mind if I take her off of your hands?" I put my hands into my pockets, my nails have already grown into claws and I smirk putting my enlarged canines on display. I can't help but feel a little excited.

I've never got to fight a gorgon yet.

"And, who are you, Barbie?" I blow one of my neon pink strands out of my face. And I see Duke push his way into the front of the crowd.

My smirk turns into a malic grin and I take my hands out and crack my knuckles together, "Do you wanna find out?

"Don't." Another large male steps next to him and the way his eyes reflect, werewolf.

The gorgon looks to his companion confused. The wolf eyes me and I maintain eye contact.

I'm not sure who the new player is but I'll be more than happy to fight him as well.

The only werewolves I've interacted with were family. And no one wants to fight the Alpha's daughter.

"She's an Addams," the boy says. I cringe as the loud whisper overtakes the area.

"An Addams?"

"Oh, great. Another one."

"Like as in Wednesday Addams?"

"I thought her mom was human?"

The gorgon huffs,"Take the human. You'll do way worse than we ever could."

I make sure to keep eyes on them as I slowly approach the girl, "Are you okay?"

She nods and I wait as she gets up and she grimaces as she puts weight on her right leg.

Duke steps forward and lifts his cup, "Come on Nevermore! I thought this was a party!?" Soon the crowd joins in and I nod my head in appreciation. The music blasts back on. And soon everyone returns as dumb teens instead of scary monsters.

He shoots me a thumbs up and I look to the girl as she looks to the wall of rocks with a frown.

"Hey, can I pick you up?"

She looks over with wide eyes. "Huh?" Dirt covers her face and clothes. There's a few scrapes that are bleeding.

I clear my throat and point to her leg that's she's gingerly standing on. She blushes, "Oh. Yeah, sure."

I crouch and look over my shoulder and try to give a friendly smile, "Get on!"

She gives me a confused look before strattling my hips and I stand with her piggy backing.

"Alright I'm going to jump."

She tightens her grip, "What!?"

I bend me knees and she goes, "Wai--!!!"

I stumble as we land on top of the Boulder. I laugh trying to calm her down, "Wow! You sure are light, aren't yah?" I can feel and hear her heart pounding out of her skull.

She gives me a quizzed smile, "You're weird."

"Thanks!"

I look into the woods as try to see which way is town. Unfortunately, we're upwind and no lights or car noises are coming through the thick compass of trees.

"I came from that way. I think." She points in a direction and I decide to take it.

The walk through the woods is quiet and surprisingly, I find myself starting to relax. I like the solidarity that the woods provides. I walk for some time as my gently swaying makes the girl relax and she puts her chin on my shoulder.

"Is it true?" The girl whispers. I flick my ear as I look out of the corner of my eye she looks away from my pointed ear.

"That you're an Addams?" I feel my arms stiffen. I never cared for the purgatory that comes with my family. I'm quiet proud and don't care for others opinions. Still it's annoying.

She quickly covers, "Not that I care! It's just that I heard from my Uncle Lucas of your mom and how she made a statue explode."

I roll my eyes. That was Thing actually, but not that she needs to know.

"I'm Eloise. Eloise Johnson" She says. I carefully go over a log. She twitchesat my silence and goes, "You know this is when someone would tell me their name in return."

"Vega." I state. I pause as we come out to a field. There's wild flowers everywhere and I feel a smile grace my lips.

It's so pretty. I look as I count the flowers, black eyed Susan's, different asters, and numerous lillys.

I stop and close my eyes as the sweet nectar and fresh air enters my nostrils. The girl behind me seems to be enjoying it too.

I look up at the clear sky and stars. I smile when I see the stars that copy my name. Then, I remember that the town is south of school. So, I go in the opposite of Polaris.

"There was something there. You know?" Eloise whispers so quietly I even have to strain my superhearing.

"It was supposed to be fun. I made myself go out l, cause I promised my mom I'd get into trouble to stop her worrying. I'm also a loner at my normie school. I've never had many friends but everyone was going. So," she shrugged,"Then, the cops came and everyone panicked. I just ran. But when I stopped, I had no idea where I was, and then my phone died. I used the flashlight setting to try to find my way back. I wandered around in the woods for a long time and then this loud crack happened." Her hand tightens on my shirt, "I know you shouldn't run from a predator but I was just...something told me to just run."

"You're human. Not your fault." I try to comfort. She snorts with a watery chuckle.

I stumble out of a thick pair of bushes and end up on asphalt of a road. I turn and see the generic Welcome sign to the town.

I lower down and she takes the sign and slides off of my back.

"You think you can go the rest of the way?" I ask. I look to her leg and she brushes some of her red hair out of her face.

"I suppose I can. Thank you."

I nod and she says, "It was nice meeting you, Vega Addams!"

....

" Can Vega Addams report to the principals office?"

I pick my head up as my cheeks are stuffed of breakfast sausage. I glare at the box and ignore of the student body stares.

Ugh. I quickly inhale my food and then walk to the school's office.

The secretary politely opens the door for me and I pause as principal Barcaly turns around with Sheirf Walker standing next to her. His eyes red and bags underneath showing little sleep.

"Morning Miss Addams," Principal Barclay drawls, "You make take a seat."

"I'm in trouble." I sit and cross my legs waiting for the adults to tell me what I supposedly did.

Mr. Walkers rubs his five o'clock shadow, "Depending."

I raise a brow. Principal Barclay sit and folds her hands on her desk.

"Did you escort a Miss Eloise Johnson home the other night?"

I tilt my head to the side, "Yes, she was lost and I took her to the town sign."

"It that all?" Sheirf asks. I smell the coffee and desperation waving off of him. I try my best to not scrunch my nose.

"Why?" I can feel my heart pick up.

Principal Barclay and Sheirf glance at each other. After a moment.

"Eloise was found dead this morning."

The author shared this to me in my dms too but I figured you guys might wanna read it too :)

#long post #not canon but i really appreciate this

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