#but I can feel in my body that I haven't | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

swallows-are-for-hope · 1 month

Text

.

0 notes

uncanny-tranny · 10 months

Text

I'm still thinking about how ashamed I was (and am) with being open about my pain because I am so young. It's so hard to feel worthy of having your pain taken seriously when the people around you insist that young bodies are always in pristine, untouched condition and that you must earn your pain through aging. Never is it considered that young people aren't lying or being a hypochondriac for expressing their pain.

Young people can be in life-altering pain. Young people can have debilitating pain. It doesn't matter what age it happens because pain doesn't discriminate. Complaining about pain and doing things to prevent needless pain aren't something you have to "earn" through aging.

If you want young people to be in less or lesser pain, then encourage them to do whatever they can to minimize it. Don't downplay what they're experiencing. Not everything is a lie, not every experience that is different than yours is exaggeration or deceit.

#disability #ableism #ableism tw #this is one of the big reasons i was ashamed of admitting when i am in pain #and it's one of the reasons i was ashamed to address the pain i have #and i'm angry about that actually! nobody should fear being labeled as essentially having munchausen syndrome because...#...'young people NEVER have pain or disabilities and you're a liar!'#i really do want to start addressing my pain because i know it's not normal but holy shit batman it can suck sometimes #i honestly like talking to my dad about this because he also has a lot of pain (moreso than i do now) but he actually TRIES to listen...#putting this in the disability tag but i still don't feel right about labeling my own pain as such...#...but i know so many people with disabling pain who would relate...#...maybe it's internalized ableism on my part or maybe i just want to be respectful of people with worse pain #this is me really just reflecting on m the fact that i haven't ever had an amazing body in a lot of ways (though i am lucky still)#i'm still thinking about having an emergency cane to help me get up when my pain is bad but idk if it's worth the investment #so if anybody reading this has suggestions (esp. for those with back pain)... please hook me up i will platonically love you forever

246 notes · View notes

screwpinecaprice · 1 year

Text

CW for itsy bit of blood.

Giving some semi-monster (tender) lovin', requested by Dragonuva!

I very much enjoyed drawing this! 🥰

#connverse #doodles for tips #Steven Quartz Universe #Connie Maheswaran #monster Steven #CW blood #I'd almost say it shouldn't be noticeable but it is very near the middle so maybe it is noticeable?#Sum tender lovin #Trying to log in discord and remembering I haven't posted this yet.#I really like body horror but I'm not good at drawing horror so this is the closest I can get.#Thank you for the tip!!!#The request specifically was Connie giving monster Steven or semi monster Steven that well deserve fluffy love.#I decided to go the soft route.#Oh... I just realized now. I hope it didn't come off more angsty than fluffy! 😅#I dunno what happened here but I hope it's not too painful.#Listen. He's babey no matter what he looks like 😤#I feel like there's more I wanted to add but I really got to hit the hay now I have work tomorrow.#my shiz

251 notes · View notes

puppetmaster13u · 9 months

Text

Oh boi even more of One au in like 3 hours lol

I like to think that like how in @phoenixcatch7's Doll au there's gas versions of like cures and such in the batfam's gas masks since they don't need to breath when possessing the puppets right? I like to think there's an organic version of that with the meat puppet bodies, at least with Bruce, where the plates on his neck opens up into vents of sorts, pictured here with a few spikes removed for visibility reasons.

This gas could be some cures for like Joker venom & Fear gas and such, or it could also be sedatives, paralytics, could even vary between each member. (For example in the Cryptidverse Steph has Anesthetics on her claws, Jason has reflective powder that mimics embers/sparks, Cass has paralytics, etc). Honestly I am just brainstorming so this could definitely change lmao

I do like to think they start developing their own venom though, gotta' have those fangs & tusks for some reason lol

#meat marionette au #batman au #cryptid batman #cryptid batfam #body horror #batman #dcu #dc #Sorry Phoenix if I am spamming you lol #Honestly I feel like Bruce & Kane are the only ones with like big-ish tusks as though to show they're the fully grown ones of the group #Batwoman has set up shop in Bludhaven while Bruce usually sticks to Gotham me thinks but they still help each other out because family <3 #God I want to ramble about their language and body language and stuff so bad lol I love world building #I also totally haven't been writing a drabble for this for the past hour lmao #The caves have a favorite mortal and It's definitely Bruce lol #Okay but now I am thinking of how Bruce & Clark could meet the first time lol #Bruce can definitely sneak up on Clark if he wants to and it's probably terrifying lol #Something I will have to think about for later I suppose #What are the tunnels? Fuck if I know lol #The drabble totally isn't from Its pov tho lol (definitely not)#Tumblr don't eat my tags 2023 #Bruce definitely freaks out the first time he sees his second body #Not helped by the fact the first time he sees it he is piloting it and emerging from a flesh wall #All stumbly like a newborn deer (not helped by long limbs and body all differently proportioned & more limbs lol)#The secondary body's face is something between a human and an animal's muzzle #Dick deserves electric organs like an electric eel so he can shock people #Y'know what Cass deserves pitch black flesh & organs- like I am talking vantablack barely lets in any light black #Bruce is probably more wary about taking in kids what with the whole eldritch thing beneath the streets but really what choice does he have #All of them were already trying to do vigilante work & they'll end up killed if he doesn't help them :/#He loves them but he *really* wishes the tunnels didn't take a liking to them as well because they're already traumatized enough #He wishes it didn't call to them like it did to him so long ago

110 notes · View notes

heyitsmemel · 5 months

Text

hi hello gals and gays. Here is a rare wav from me struggling with the flu. The virus has mainly been in my chest but my entire body is so wrecked I was able to induce super easily. No talking bc I’m literally unable to 😭 Do not listen if you can't stand harsh coughing because it gets a bit rough. If it sounds a bit weird the first half of the recording is from yesterday and the second half is from today, bc the coughing is so much worse in the second half lmao. Ok that's it thankkk you for feeding me so good lately tumblr love u all <3

also personal rant about ableism and intentional contagion in the comments :///

#ok like I haven't been this sick in literal years and cuz im disabled i'm super mindful of spreading germs to others.#and i've had some family staying with me so I was like great leave me here to rot in my cave guys #my partner has been rlly attentive and is like i don't care about germs tehe so yesterday he comes into my room #and gives me a bunch of kisses on my head then swoops in and kisses me ON THE MOUTH #like im sorry i've been lying in a pool of feverish sweat for days and can hardly breathe what part of that makes someone go ooo gimme?#like ya hes just trying to love me but i put so much effort into being clean and now i will feel really guilty when he gets sick #sorry not sorry intentional contagion is not cute or sexy at all its just irresponsible #like i would love to live the life where my body works so well that I don't give a second thought to KISSING someone with the flu #i just feel like able bodied people never think about what its like living with a disability or a chronic illness #or have the slightest inclination of how privileged they are #my partner isn't even a fetishit he is just a dumbass #but ya i just wish he and the general population would think more :/#snzblr #snz #illness kink #snzfucker #snz wav #snzzzzz #snz blog #anyway thats all do what u want with my horn post

49 notes · View notes

thottybrucewayne · 4 months

Text

No, real question. How you a transmed and nonbinary?

#thotty speaks #They said 'oh people don't take you tenderqueer nbs seriously cause yall won't get on hrt/get surgery to show us youre serious #Look I want to get on t. I wanna do a lot of things to make me feel more at home in my body that I'm not sure about yet #Safety wise etc and it just...as a Black person for you to not understand other Black trans people being hesitant abt jumping into surgery #or worrying about pricing and post surgery care and being under medicated etcetc #Not to mention that I shouldn't have to do these things at YOUR pace to prove that I'm trans like...#You got top surgery money? You tryin to nurse me back to health when I take days to try to heal?#I just hate this argument cause you can ask any nb who medically transitioned if people 'take them seriously' and usually the answer is #A resounding no! Most people see nbs who medically transition as 'just trans with extra prns' and 'still about clothing'#idk I just hate the idea that I have to 'earn' legitimacy by rushing into something I haven't even found a proper safety net for #I feel like if you doin all this yappin but you not going out of your way to look out for people just starting hrt or need help post op #just shut the fuck up #idk it just find it funny like you do not benefit from that transmed shit at all but do you ig

34 notes · View notes

slumbergoblin · 3 months

Text

Hi Mei :)

#pmatga #my art #pmatga oc #mei lián #“I have been drawing Mei.”#“What?”#“I have done nothing but draw Mei for 3 days.”#well- it's when she was in her 30s^^;;#also when she and Betrayus were first interacting! Betrayus initially did not like her!#he wasn't used to someone actively trying to seek out and get to know him. so he was just his usual #“grr I don't like talking to new people and I'm always grumpy blah blah blah” <- paraphrasing #I really need to just. write everything I can about her down and then just slap it here because I feel like I haven't conveyed who #she really is and how she acts as a character. I feel like she's still too empty on a surface level in my drawings #but in my head she's /way/ more fleshed out #like she's an engineer. she has 3 younger siblings. she's a hard worker (to the point where even betrayus tells her to take breaks).#she's the person who makes betrayus open up and see the world in a better light! she had such a huge influence on him and helped him grow!#I just don't want her to be 'this is betrayus's wife! and that's it!' you know? I /need/ there to be more #but alas. it is hard for me to write u_u #uuuoohh I forgot I have to draw her motorcycle too..... uwwahhh...#also notes: I didn't draw her shoes on the full-body on the left. and I didn't actually 'color' her clothing on the full-body on the right #I grey-scaled it. but never went through with coloring it

31 notes · View notes

dennisboobs · 5 months

Text

blacked out and came to with a document full of macden

#ada speaks #ada writing macden in 2024........ hm #its all dennis introspection but i have a Plan #the funny thing abt macden is that mac is so goddamn dense i can commit to usual den shenanigans #charlie is way too perceptive it doesn't usually work #i will laugh if i manage to post this before any of my longass fics #its. playing with some concepts i have used before (i will say. victoria being conceptualized as an entirely separate person.)#i find den's separation of self really fascinating bc for me the trans experience has been. hm #playing a part for the masses but knowing who i am beneath that #its opposite for dennis but also the same. he doesn't see vicky as himself but he doesn't have a core either #he's a shell hosting her in his body but she also feels like the most authentic version of the self #and thus. gender euphoria. very weird and complicated gender euphoria.#one dennis holds himself back from expressing to its fullest extent #what was i talking about again #oh yeah macden. that's there too. i think probably den's gonna put the moves on mac but i haven't decided how itll go.....#this fic is just dennis doing psych student brain things thinking abt mac and their relationship and breaking it all down

25 notes · View notes

sysig · 9 days

Photo

Nice healthy obsession you got there (Patreon)

#Doodles #SCII #Helix #DAX #ZEX #SU #Scribbles for maximum speed and minimum prettiness lol #How! many! layers! deep! can I go!!#I have been well-out from Steven Universe for a heck-while now - stopped around Off-Colors I think? I haven't been back since 2017ish y'see #Something-something pick up Vargas drop off Steven Universe (there was a few months of crossover but it's a whole thing w/e w/e)#Anyway! Lol #It was lurking dormant for This Moment is what I'm getting at #Just needed to stew on SCII for five years and then all the feelings'd come up lol #It is still so funny to me that I drew Max and Dex before ZEX and DAX - whenever things come full circle like this it tickles me #I've already written up a Whole Thing about my alien-faves so that'll be a thing soon enough lol #For now! Silliness! I mean - more silliness lol #Those /are/ ZEX and DAX but?? I guess?? with the body-snatched version but they'd be gems?? I don't know either lol #I put in the caption that DAX would be a pearl but honestly he feels like he'd be an opal or something #Can't say labradorite that's too indulgent but he'd be so pretty! Those hidden depths and flecks of green <3 #I feel like ZEX would be something clear and beautiful :) So - not a green quartz lol but something pretty and important!#I dunno I've forgotten many many things about SU gem types haha #Also silly how I put ZEX in the Pearl position - he just Seems It y'know ♪#I mean Max would too lol #But no DAX is the obvious Pearl here - her songs were always my favourite <3 Discounting that she was always my favourite ahem lol #I have Always Always loved It's Over Isn't It <3 A full mournful song for her ugh it's so gorgeous ♥#I've been trying to learn the Italian version because it is So pretty <3 #Thank goodness the comments weren't disabled under the Italian upload so someone was able to post the lyrics #So nice to be able to see them! And the words genuinely flow so beautifully they're really fun to sing ♫

11 notes · View notes

bloodbathfortwo · 1 month

Text

What does everyone think of Nigel Forbes-Colbie ever getting pregnant? It doesn't matter how you interpret it: Omegaverse, males can get pregnant Au, Trans! Nigel. Just tell me your guys' headcanons of Nigel's pregnancy: The changes, the hardships, the softness, and the vulnerabilities.

#murderous intent #like minds 2006 #like minds #alex forbes #nigel colbie #Alex Forbes X Nigel Colbie #Nigel Colbie x Alex Forbes #If you guys haven't noticed my recent posts I've been feeling way too soft for this fandom #Like #Too soft #And it's both Nigel and Alex's fault for making me too soft when all I want is to cause chaos and do crimes #To be honest I'd like to Imagine Nigel's pregnancy as an arduous one: Swollen feet . Sore back. Weird cravings. Mood swings. Everything.#And he isn't used to seeing himself get swollen with life each and every day. While Alex is so gullible first thing in the morning because #of the baby bump growing every single day. And Nigel getting rounder every week.#Sure. Nigel is enjoying being pampered by Alex with all these services and gifts but sometimes he thinks that he isn't that attractive #Anymore for Alex. And that while he's carrying his children he will leave him like a used toy.#He'd have instances where he'd feel conflicting feelings for their child and think of possibilities of removing her from his body #But he'd soon regret it. He just breaks down into tiny little pieces of ever thinking of their daughter that way. His and ALEX"S #He can never stomach killing her. He can never stomach ruining her beautiful life that he has yet witnessed.#He still has his self-harm tendencies but he avoids it. He avoids harming his angel. His miracle. His life.#He wants to be a good father to his child. He wants to nurture her. Feed her knowledge and love. Cater to her needs and be at her beck #and call: be a father.#Alex knows what's happening to Nigel. They talk. And they talk everyday. He knows how much it can be hard for Nigel during his pregnancy #And he will always be there to protect his spouse and his unborn child.#He will spite their original purpose in order to create their own purpose. Which Nigel had a hard time letting go of.#It was hard. Seeing the history that made them into the people they are today. But it had to #they had to change #change for their family.#For their miracle.#And Nigel seeing Alex being this doting makes him fall for him ten times more

9 notes · View notes

the-outcast-dead · 2 months

Text

Started Disco Elysium for the first time and am going in blind. Still in Day 1.

Gotta say I appreciate playing a character who ALSO seems to have various people in their head who bicker amongst themselves and belittle you, he's the worst and we're best friends

#did system #disco elysium #disco elysco #no harm will befall Kim if I can help it #did #this is Mystery btw #it feels comfortable and natural in a way i haven't seen in a game. its me vic 5 harry my tie and the boys #just two bodies failing upward through this game together lmao

9 notes · View notes

fereldanwench · 1 year

Text

Is it a mirage? A hologram? No, my friends, it's clear, open skies! But don't take it from me--Get out there and enjoy the sun! ☀️ ∟valerie's nice charter hill jog under cut for length & maximum VPer self-indulgence

#fem v friday #cyberpunk 2077 #cp2077edit #cp2077 screenshots #cyberpunk 2077 v #oc: valerie v powell #g: cyberpunk 2077 #mine: edits #mine: stories #sorta #just putting all my long sets under that tag now i think #i made these with post-mikoshi new clone body in mind but i still haven't figured out her cyberware situation then #i think it'd be a lot subtler and fashionable #but ANYWay point is she does not take her second chance for granted #and soaks up all the little pleasures she can #like sunshine on her face and a cold can of nicola and even just feeling her heart beating #idk im rambling this is basically just a little love note to her #giving her little pockets of happiness bc she's my bb and she deserves it

81 notes · View notes

disdaidal · 6 months

Text

I do love that I'm both freezing and having the worst back pains.

But at least I still have a roof above my head, right?

#personal #so here's the thing:#i don't think any of the radiators in my apartment are currently working #which kind of sucks bc it's winter in northern europe lmao #one of them had blown a fuse. which i changed yesterday. and now it's cold again. so there's definitely something wrong with it #two of them. which are located in my bedroom/living room combination. have red lights on #but they are both cold and not heating up my apartment. which means i'm freezing here #so it could be a thermostat or something. i don't know #but because my place was a mess. after having worked for a few months and not having energy to do anything else #i had to clean up here yesterday. because i couldn't call my landlord who lives closeby in case he decided to drop in and see #the mess i was living in. to you know. check on those radiators #so anyway. my apartment is pretty okay now. stuff i still need to clean though but it's mostly minor #but i seem to have strained my lower back doing it. or from sleeping in an awkward position because i was cold #the kind of pain i haven't experienced in months which must be a record for me now #but yeah now my lower back hurts. i can't properly crouch or even twist my body to the side without my knees trying to give out #and i've already taken painkillers for it today. which kind of put me to sleep again and had a lovely little nap a while ago #but this is bothersome #i hope my back feels better by tomorrow so i can finish my cleaning and then message my landlord #because i don't want to freeze here anymore xD and i also don't want my houseplants dying because of it so

14 notes · View notes

opens-up-4-nobody · 6 months

Text

...

#my therapist teaching me a mindfulness technique: so what do u think?#me: this is like how vulcans deal with their emotions. they recognize them and set them side. acknowledge and accept #also i need to send these thoughts away on icebergs in the ocean instead of on clouds in the sky #its the exact opposite of what u were saying but i think abt the terror so god damn much its infected me down to the bone #literally anything she tells me i gotta b like: how can i either relate this to media or fold this into a metaphor?#bc i guess thats just how my brain works idk.#ugh. saw the psychologist and psychiatrist today and now theyre perscribing me ab1lify #hope it works. i dont have the perspiration in hands yet. i wish my brain would just b Normal #but i feel generally better than i did last week already #they think im sensitive to medication. either my body or my mind. ie. i freak myself out and my body reacts #so i convince myself im having a reaction. they haven't said that but im sure theyre thinking it bc im also thinking it lol #cant pin me down. my mind is too slippery #things i did not think would happen to me: a bip0lar diagnosis and prescription for anti psychotics #unrelated

14 notes · View notes

simgerale · 1 year

Text

just amoria being simtimate 🌿

#BL:G3 outtakes #sim edit #simtimates #isn't she GORGEOUS #i can see why jorge is literally obsessed with his wife #the quality isn't the BEST but i think she shines anyway #okay this is where the sim related tags stop you should keep scrolling or read at your own risk !!#mention of body esteem issues ahead!!!#i haven't had a child like she has but i still struggle with my tummy poking out and my stretch lines #but then i look at her. she's a SIM. but she makes me feel so beautiful because SHE'S beautiful #it's really hard how harsh you can be on yourself?? you know?#i see people with my body type all the time and think they're so cute!#and for those momma's out there who have had kids and struggle with loving yourself: this is for you too!#you are AMAZING and ATTRACTIVE and WORTH EVERY LOVING GAZE #your body should be praised! it does and has done wonderful things #i've gone off on a tangent #but my point stands #MWAH #kisses.

34 notes · View notes

birlwrites · 10 months

Note

not about harry potter, but do you watch good omens?

and if so, thoughts???

i have perhaps an. unhealthy level of emotional investment in good omens

(psst there are ~4 days left of the official graphic novel kickstarter if anyone hasn't pledged who wants to https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/dunmanifestin/good-omens/description, it just hit its last stretch goal, THERE IS AZ FELL AND CO BOOKSTORE MERCH AS ADD ONS)

what are my thoughts? let's see. the ending of season 2 makes perfect sense as the second part of a trilogy but it still hurt me deeply and if aziraphale doesn't do the apology dance in season 3 i'll lose my mind. also if he does do the apology dance in season 3 i'll lose my mind. basically if there is season 3 and aziraphale is in it--

loved the conversation between nina and maggie and crowley at the end of s2, i watched it for the first time with a massive jane austen fan who was THRILLED the second he heard even a *reference* to her in the show (so naturally the ball was the absolute High Point of the season)

at the end of s1 it's basically explicitly stated that The Big One is heaven and hell vs. humanity so i'm intrigued to see what's going to happen in s3 to that end

i don't think the metatron actually wanted crowley to be reinstated to heaven, he just wanted to drive crowley and aziraphale apart and figured that offer would do it (and that it would sell aziraphale on the idea of changing heaven from the inside as Something He Could Actually Do) - i also am intrigued by how god's going to factor into all of it bc as we see with job god's totally down to fuck around with everyone (likewhatmaggieandninaweresaying) but in s1 god was basically just functioning as narrator and had that one conversation with aziraphale - so if god's going to become more active that would be fascinating, but i am also very interested in how exactly the metatron fits into all of this and the degree of control/influence there

i like the idea that muriel was memory wiped like they were going to do to gabriel (~institutional problems~) but i'm not sure how supported it is by the narrative - i don't know anything about muriel the angel like. biblically, or even if that's a biblical angel, so maybe if i knew more i'd have a more confident opinion afjslgkhjskdf

jon hamm in season 1 made me want to punch him in the face every time he showed up on screen and in season 2 i was delighted by basically everything he did. what a guy

i also desperately want to know if anathema heard about any of the events of s2 and if so what she thought of All Of That, so if anyone has like. fic recs for something of that nature let me know afjlskhgljskdf

and finally: crowley

#good omens #should i make an inbox tag #i can't fully express my Crowley Thoughts #i have so many of them and they are often incredibly incoherent #but like. the lengths to which he can and will go for aziraphale #he's giving shax pointers on being on earth #he's totally convinced that a sudden rainstorm Will cause maggie and nina to fall in love #AND ASKS NINA ABOUT IT #six shots of espresso in a big cup #agreeing to help aziraphale with his magic act even though he's never fired a gun #HE'S SO EXCITED ABOUT THE NEBULA AND THEN HE FALLS FOR ASKING QUESTIONS #THE METATRON INSULTS HIM AS SOON AS AZIRAPHALE SAYS HE DIDN'T TAKE THE OFFER WELL #HE LENDS AZIRAPHALE HIS CAR AND THEN *FEELS* WHEN IT TURNS YELLOW #AND CALLS AZIRAPHALE TO YELL AT HIM #HE KEEPS HIS PLANTS IN THE BACKSEAT #HE'S DEFENDING THE BOOKSHOP BEFORE AZIRAPHALE EVEN KNOWS THERE'S A PROBLEM #I LITERALLY CANNOT #AND THE WAY HE STANDS THERE WATCHING AZIRAPHALE LEAVE #WE HAVEN'T EVEN BEGUN DISCUSSING SEASON 1 #anyway this is why i couldn't fit my crowley thoughts into the main body of the post

10 notes · View notes