#brotp: he will have my back
Note
👀 How about an AU where Han Yoojin was a sugar baby in order to make enough money to feed and house teenager Yoohyun (before Yoohyun became a S ranked hunter) while also having a flexible enough schedule to be able to spend so much time with his brother. From here, there's so many different ways this can go. Do we have Yoohyun who leaves his older brother behind, so Yoojin returns to sugaring - and he has a very rich and powerful sugar daddy? Yoohyun discovering & freaking out?
((sldkjfjsd the amount of actual sugar baby content in this is minimal, but uh, the spirit of it is kinda there??))
~~~
If Yoojin told anyone that he knew pro-tennis player Moon Hyuna, absolutely zero people would believe him, least of all himself. But the world is smaller than anyone would think, and when one of Yoojin’s high school friends hears that he’s in some financial trouble after his parents leave the moment he becomes of age, he points Yoojin in her direction with a shrug and says something to the effect of, “She’s nice, mostly, when you get to know her.”
A ringing endorsement.
Still, he’s starting to get desperate, and there’s only so much that a high school graduate with no time to earn a college degree and a teenager to support can do on his own. So he calls her, arranges a meeting, and heads to the restaurant that she suggests in the nicest shirt that he owns.
“So, Yoojin-ssi,” she says, collecting water droplets from her cup on her fingers and flicking them onto the tablecloth in the way that people do when they’re quite bored at a restaurant. “You need a few hundred more a month to help support yourself and your brother?”
It’s uncomfortable, having it put in stark terms like that, but he nods. “Just until he’s out of high school.” He should have enough by then to put Yoohyun through college.
Hyuna hums consideringly and takes a drink of her water. Yoojin watches her swallow apprehensively. “Okay,” she says decisively, setting the glass down on the table. “You said he just started high school, right?” Yoojin nods again. “I can do that. There are worse spending habits for an athlete to have,” she says, grinning.
The tension in Yoojin’s shoulders slowly relaxes. It’s not a contract or anything, he doesn’t know how long this promise will last, or even if Hyuna will change her mind as soon as they leave the restaurant, but. It’s something. “Does Hyuna-ssi want anything in return?” he offers. “It’d be very unfair, otherwise.” He’s a little concerned about what she might suggest, but Hyuna has been very generous so far, and she’s not… unattractive, and—
Hyuna grins and leans in. “I’ve been thinking about this for a while, and I think I have an idea. Yoojin-ssi, would you be comfortable pretending to be my boyfriend?”
Yoojin is already opening his mouth to agree when he actually processes what she says. “‘Pretend’?”
Hyuna waves a hand. “I’m at the age where my parents keep hounding me to start dating,” she says with a grimace, “but I’m not very interested in the idea. Never have been. And even if I was, you’re not my type. In any way.”
Oh.
Hyuna raises an eyebrow at him pointedly.
Oh.
Well, that’s good.
“I think that’ll be fine,” he says, not bothering to hide his relief. It doesn’t even feel that embarrassing when Hyuna laughs.
“So, Yoojin-ah,” she says, propping her head up on a hand and looking at him through half-lidded eyes. Yoojin is starting to get the strong sense that he’s going to have to start growing some more backbone in this relationship if he doesn’t want Hyuna to just bulldoze over him. “Now that we’re dating, should you call me noona?”
“Hyuna… noona,” he says, and winces when she laughs at him again.
“It’s okay, we’ll work up to that one,” she says brightly. “Now, what do you want to order?”
-
To his surprise, Hyuna sends him a contract a few days later with some more details on what their agreement will actually entail, written in surprisingly formal and official-sounding language. “You might want to get it looked at by a lawyer or something,” she suggests seriously. “Especially since it involves money.”
Yoojin doesn’t have the guts to take something like this to a lawyer, especially since it has section titles like ‘Duties of the Pretend Relationship’ and ‘Physical Boundaries of Relationship’, but he does look it over carefully himself and makes sure to bring up any questions that he has with her.
“Why is there a clause in the section about the pretend relationship about cooking?” he asks one weekend, balancing his phone between his ear and his shoulder as he slices a mushroom.
Hyuna groans, loud enough that it crackles over the connection. “My mom is one of those old fashioned people who thinks I should take care of all the housework and do all of the cooking, so whenever she sees us together, you should always mention my food or let me cook.”
“Oh.” Come to think of it, his own mother had always been the one to cook in his family too, even if Yoojin was convinced that his father was better at it. “If you ever want me to cook, I can cook for you.”
Hyuna laughs. “We’re not actually dating, Yoojin-ah, I think you’ll be fine.”
“Right.”
Just as Yoojin starts to flounder for another topic of conversation, Yoohyun pops his head into the room. “Hyung, who are you talking to? Hyung, how many times have I told you that you’re going to get a cramp if you keep trying to talk on the phone in that position?”
“Is that your brother?”
Yoohyun jogs over and tugs the phone from between Yoojin’s ear and shoulder, putting it on speakerphone and setting it on the counter. “Thanks, Yoohyun-ah,” he says, ruffling Yoohyun’s hair, before answering Hyuna. “Yeah, this is Yoohyun. Say hi.”
“Hi,” Yoohyun says, sounding confused.
“Hi, Yoojin’s brother!” Hyuna chirps.
“...who are you?” he asks hesitantly. Yoojin has approximately half of a second to recognize the impending doom, and then he’s rushing to push him out of the kitchen.
“I’m your brother’s—”
“Oh, look, Yoohyun-ah, you’re still not done with your homework!” Yoojin shouts loudly over whatever lies Hyuna is telling over the phone. “You should get back to that!”
Yoohyun, visibly confused, still obediently returns to his room. He pauses at the entrance to his room, though, one hand on the doorframe. “Does hyung like her?” he asks, and there’s a gravitas in the question that makes Yoojin consider the question carefully.
“She likes to joke around a lot, but she’s a good person,” he says after a pause. He’s not sure if the pretend aspect of their relationship should extend to his own family too. Maybe that should be added to the contract. “Yoohyun doesn’t need to worry about her.”
Satisfied with that, Yoohyun turns back to his homework and Yoojin returns to the kitchen. Hyuna, shockingly, is still on the call. “Yah, Yoojin-ah, you better not leave me alone again next time,” she squawks when Yoojin greets her. Yoojin goes through the motions of promising not to do that again, but he thinks that deciding to stay on the line speaks more than her words.
-
Hyuna sends him two payments before she asks him to attend a family dinner with her. “I just brought it up with my family for the first time, so they want to meet you,” she complains over a bowl of jjajangmyeon.
Yoojin swallows a bite of his own jjamppong before replying. “It’s just a dinner, right?”
“Yeah. It’ll be my mom and dad, and maybe my younger sister if she decides to come. I’ll let you know what her decision is later.” Hyuna suddenly slaps a hand on her thigh. “I just remembered—what do you do for a living? My parents will ask and I don’t want to be caught off-guard.”
Yoojin bites his lip. “I… work a few jobs right now,” he hedges, not quite wanting to come out and say it.
Hyuna cocks her head to the side, like a hawk intent on catching its prey. Yoojin avoids her gaze and takes another bite of his noodles. Hyuna is the person that Yoojin is probably the most vulnerable with—out of necessity, by their agreement, but it still feels painful to try to reveal that part of himself purposefully. “I can send you more money, you know.”
Yoojin jerks his head up. “Noona!”
She shrugs. “I earn enough that it’s really not too big of a burden to me. I have brand deals during the tournament off season, and I’m still a high-ranking championship player.” She grins at him unabashedly. “Seriously. Let me know if you need more.” She doesn’t insist after that, just leaves the offer open, and that’s what makes Yoojin stop and consider.
“Not right now, but… maybe later,” he says slowly. If he takes more money, then he can work less and spend more time with Yoohyun.
Later. He’ll think about it later.
“Okay.” Hyuna takes a bite of her lunch and turns the conversation back in the direction of her family’s dinner. Yoojin once again lets out tension that he didn’t know he was holding, and wonders if this is something like trust.
The dinner ends up going fine.
-
“Did you know that your sister calls me for homework advice now?” Yoojin calls to where Hyuna is sitting on her couch, scrolling through Netflix for the movie that she insisted on showing Yoojin.
“Really?”
“She called me last night to ask about how to solve quadratic equations.” Yoojin grabs another set of chopsticks from Hyuna’s utensil drawer and heads over to the living room with the pot of ramyeon. “She’s your sister, why isn’t she calling you about this?”
“Hey, the two years between us is a long time to spend forgetting about math you did seven years ago,” Hyuna protests. “I didn’t even learn it that well when I was in school myself.”
“Noona is a true jock, huh?”
Hyuna grabs a throw pillow off of the couch and swats Yoojin in the head with it. “Hey, don’t be a brat.” Yoojin is still gracious enough after this to offer her the extra pair of chopsticks and sit down next to her on the couch. “Okay, have you watched any of the other movies in this series?”
“No,” Yoojin tells her truthfully. Hyuna stares at him. “What? I haven’t!”
“Ooookay,” she says slowly, exiting the title screen of the movie and selecting a different one. “We’re starting from the beginning then.”
“Why can’t we just watch the other one?”
“And miss all of the context?”
“I looked up the reviews before coming over and the consensus seems to be that it’s just a mediocre action movie.”
“So? It can still have context.”
Yoojin snorts, but he’s sitting on Hyuna’s couch in Hyuna’s apartment, eating Hyuna’s ramen from Hyuna’s pot with Hyuna’s chopsticks, so he figures that he doesn’t really have a leg to stand on. If she really wants to watch a mediocre action movie so badly, well, he has enough experience doing that with Yoohyun.
It’s different though, he finds about twenty minutes into the movie. Yoohyun likes to watch movies quietly, in a movie theater if possible, and hates it when anyone talks during them. Hyuna, on the other hand, talks to the characters as if they can hear her, has entire conversations with Yoojin after which they have to hastily rewind the video, and comments on Yoojin’s cooking ability loudly while eating the ramyeon.
Hyuna is a friend, he realizes all at once while he’s watching her shout at the TV. A friend who is a professional tennis player and sends him money every month and tells her family that she’s dating him.
It’s not a bad feeling.
-
Hyuna is the first person that he thinks to contact after he watches Yoohyun break a table by stumbling into it and walk right out of the door without listening to anything that Yoojin tried to say to him.
“Hey, Yoojin-ah,” she says when she picks up, voice… odd. “Not that I don’t like getting calls from you, but this better be important.”
Fuck. He gives in to the urge to curl up towards his knees where he’s sitting on his bed. “Noona,” he says shakily.
“Oh, Yoojin,” she says, soft in a way that she rarely ever is, even around him, and Yoojin feels the unstable foundation holding him up unravel just a tiny bit more. “What’s wrong?”
“He—” is all he manages to get out before his throat closes up and refuses to let anything out. He’s not sure that he even has anything to say concretely. All he can do is replay that moment that Yoojin begged Yoohyun to stop and explain what was going on, and all Yoohyun did was leave.
Hyuna lets the pause linger for a long time. Longer, Yoojin is sure, than is polite. Than most people would. Yoojin still can’t make himself say anything. “Yoojin-ah,” she says, and she sounds tired. Yoojin feels awful—she must’ve had a long night or something, and he’s making it worse. “I’ve got—you caught me at a really bad time. It’s… a miracle I managed to pick up the phone, actually.” He catches her muttering something like literally, but it’s hard to tell over the connection. “I can come over later?”
Yoojin inhales a shaky breath and hates himself a little bit for feeling like he’s going to fall apart over such a little thing. He shouldn’t need Hyuna to put aside time for him, right? He should just be able to accept that Yoohyun just… needed to go, right? He should be used to people leaving him, right? He can accept that. He can. He should. “Yeah,” he says quietly instead, because he’s talked to Hyuna about this before, and tries to let himself feel relieved about it. “Yeah, that would be—please. Do you know… when?”
Hyuna groans quietly. “Not really,” she says. Yoojin can hear the unspoken apology in her voice. “I’ll explain it later, but I, uh, probably shouldn’t be around anyone right now. I’ll let you know as soon as I can go over, though, okay?”
“Is there anything I can do to help?” Yoojin asks, now concerned. “If your thing is more important—”
“I don’t think either of our things is more important, really,” Hyuna interrupts. “But my thing is keeping me from helping you with your thing, so I gotta deal with it first.”
It seems so simple, when she puts it like that. “Okay,” Yoojin says. He knows this is the point in the conversation when he should hang up, but he can’t bring himself to say the words.
“Yoojin-ah,” she says, fond, and Yoojin feels like he has an actual older sister when she takes that tone with him. “I’ll see you soon.”
“Bye, noona,” he croaks, and makes himself press the end call button.
He’s not really sure what happens after that, but at some point, he gets a text from Hyuna. Gonna take longer than expected, sorry, it says.
That’s okay, he tells himself.
It still doesn’t stop him from being overly aware of how the apartment is quiet again after five years.
-
In the end, it’s better that she takes two days to come over, Yoojin decides. It takes a while for everything to sink in, anyway, and to realize that Yoohyun really isn’t coming back. He left a few—a lot, really—messages on Yoohyun’s phone, but he doesn’t get any calls or texts back, even though Yoohyun’s never done that before.
“Yo,” she says when Yoojin opens the door. “You look different,” she immediately adds, frowning at him. Yoojin is too busy trying to figure out if there’s something different about her too. Something feels different, but he’s not sure what. “Bad,” she clarifies after a moment. “You look bad.”
“Thanks,” Yoojin deadpans, and lets her into the apartment. “What was the thing that you had to take care of?”
She ignores his question in favor of asking her own after glancing around. “Hey, where’s Yoohyun? I thought he’d be with you.”
And right at that moment, Yoojin abruptly realizes that he is less okay with what is going on than he thought he was approximately two seconds ago. “Yoohyun… He, uh. He’s not here,” is what he manages to say, because admitting that Yoohyun left feels like admitting that Yoojin still thinks about the way his back looked as he let the door close behind him.
“Yeah, that’s what I just said,” Hyuna says, turning around to give Yoojin a weird look before doing a double take as soon as she sees his face. “Whoa, okay. Did something happen to Yoohyun?”
Yoojin doesn’t know, and that’s the worst part. “I’m not sure,” he says, and he just feels… exhausted, now. That’s not even why he made Hyuna come over, and he already feels scooped hollow. “I don’t think I can talk about this right now, noona. What happened while you were on the call with me?”
She gives him a look that says she knows what he’s doing and very deliberately allowing it. “You wouldn’t believe me,” she says and continues regardless. “Look at this.” And then she reaches over and bends Yoojin’s lamp into a coil.
Yoojin’s ability to comprehend any of what’s going on is practically non-existent, so he sets aside the disbelief that weakly raises its head and instead points at the lamp. “I bought that lamp myself, don’t hurt it,” he protests nonsensically. Hyuna carefully untangles the stand and sets it back down on its base, though her handprints are still twisted into the metal.
He makes sure to carefully listen through the rest of her explanation, her description of her skills and stats and everything that sounds like it’s out of a manhwa or a webnovel. Part of him, though, is still devoted to thinking about the fingerprints that Yoohyun left dented into his bedroom door and the table that still lies broken next to the window.
-
“Hey, Yoojin-ah.”
“Yeah?”
“Your brother’s a hunter.”
-
“Noona.”
“Your brother’s an idiot, Yoojin-ah.”
“Are the headlines true?”
“Yeah. He’s calling it Haeyeon.”
***
Hyuna likes to think of herself as an easygoing person, generally. Straightforward, at least, if she can’t manage easygoing. It’s why she likes Yoojin: even if the start of their relationship couldn’t be called conventional by any standard, it was straightforward and easy to understand, and Yoojin has never complicated anything about it.
She even liked his brother for a while, though they never really ran into each other. They were united by their fondness for Yoojin, and that made it simple enough to get along.
Now, though, Hyuna kind of wants to rip his face off.
“Moon Hyuna-ssi,” he says coldly. She doesn’t know how she ever thought he could be cute. “Breaker Guild may have the most members, but that doesn’t automatically entitle you to the most dungeons.”
“Doesn’t it?” She leans back in her chair and kicks up her feet because she knows that it pisses him off to no end. “More people means I can handle more dungeons, which means better safety for the people of Seoul. Or did you forget that we’re here to protect people, Haeyeon Guild Leader?”
Yoohyun grinds his teeth, but he knows that she’s got him there. The Hunter’s Association still acts as the tiebreaker in any guild disputes, and with that defense, he doesn’t have any way of refuting.
The meeting ends shortly after, but Yoohyun hangs back and gestures for Hyuna to do the same. She debates flipping him off and leaving anyway, which usually puts her in a good mood, but she’s about to head to lunch with Yoojin, and looking at him after she does anything mean to his brother always makes her feel guilty. “What do you want, Haeyeon Guild Leader?” she sighs. She hopes Yoojin appreciates this, even though she’ll never tell him about it.
He glares. “Explain why you’re always the last person to continue protesting any of Haeyeon’s activities. Even when everyone else agrees, I can trust that you’ll disagree.”
“Hm.” She taps a finger to her chin. “Maybe I just really want to piss you off. Have you thought about that?”
He growls and goes for his sword, which is exactly why all of them have stopped bringing their weapons to these meetings. When his hand grasps air, he clenches his hands into fists instead. “We barely even know each other,” he says. Hyuna almost laughs in his face. “Why does it matter to you so much?”
“‘Why?’” She leans in closer and sends a silent apology to Yoojin for what she’s about to say. Let’s just not involve him, he’d said tiredly after she’d finally managed to pry the very short story out of him. She knows there’s more there, more in their past that Yoojin refuses to talk about, but Yoohyun’s involvement in it was brief. Yoohyun… he can do what he wants, but we can stay friends, right? “Yoohyun-ah,” she coos, and enjoys watching him coil backwards in disgust. “Listen to me, okay? I’m about to go have lunch with your lovely brother, who misses you very much. He doesn’t really talk about you anymore, but he likes it when I give him updates on how you’re doing sometimes. Actually, not much of our conversation revolves around you nowadays, but I can tell you hurt him a lot, Yoohyun-ah.”
She takes a great amount of petty pleasure in watching him flinch. He believes her, of course. There’s no reason not to when he knows that she’s been Yoojin’s friend for years now. “You have lunch?” he asks. There’s a lost note to his confusion, like he genuinely can’t understand how she’s managed to do that.
She nods. “At least twice a week when I’m not in a dungeon.”
“Doesn’t he have work?”
Hyuna doesn't know how much Yoojin had chosen to reveal to Yoohyun back when their arrangement had first started, but she’s guessing the answer is not much. That part of their past isn’t her place to reveal, but now— “Yoohyun-ah, you know as much as I do that the salary of an S-Rank is more than enough to support one extra person.”
He bares his teeth at her like a cornered cat. “Stop calling me that.”
This conversation is over, anyway. “Yoohyun-ah,” she says, because seeing Yoohyun angry at her makes up just a little bit for the way Yoojin still looks at Yoohyun’s bedroom door when he thinks she isn’t paying attention. “Get your head out of your ass.”
And then she leaves, because it’s not her job to help Yoohyun realize that his brother still loves him in spite of everything.
#anon ask#sina writes#sctir#s classes that i raised#this was born entirely from my desire to not write jinjae for a change lmaoo#hyuna + yoojin is my new brotp after writing this#do hyuna and yoojin have a ship name i've just been calling them moonjin in my head#think abt it tho!!#hyuna who deliberately chooses to stay w yoojin even after awakening vs yoohyun who chose to leave#operation give hyj a support network#in yh's defense tho he awakens w the ability to crush mountains w his bare hands and is terrified of hurting his brother#he just.. never comes back afterwards
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my sister will NOT let me read my puckurt in peace
#let a girl live and be cringe sometimes ok#also guys help im knee deep back in my glee hyperfixation again#girlblogging.pdf#controversial opinion but puckurt slays so hard#puck just fits so much better with kurt lmao#blaine is the loml but no offence klainers klaine just. crushes me because i have been the blaine in a klaine relationship SO MUCH#and kurt is awesome but he just brings out the worst in blaine#and their scenes are too painful for me i project too much onto gelmet it's a problem#LIKE HE IS ME#and i would do all that shit i did all that shit and i dont want to remember simp problems#my blaine otp/brotp/i dont really care do i look like i can tell the difference between romantic and platonic r/ps is#blam#they make my heart so happy#i dont even care if theyre romantic or besties theyre sooooooooooooo#and puckurt ehehe#aNyway spiralling so hard back into my brainrot#send help#anti klaine#just to be safe
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always something there to remind me (s.h.)
summary: ten years after the sealing of the upside-down, you and your fiance steve head to a cookout to unwind during memorial day weekend. with steve on edge after a rough half sleep full of night terrors, you hope the day can be salvaged by seeing the party and just relaxing, but a violent thunderstorm changes those plans for the worse. pairings: steve x reader, lumax, edancy. heavy on the steddie brotp tho.
tw: 18+ as always. this story deals with themes of mental illness and ptsd, it is only intended for mature audiences. descriptions of ptsd flashbacks, internal and external (please be advised they are dramatizations). partner violence (unintentional). drinking/smoking. discussions of mental illness. very moody steve but very soft steve. features some tense arguments. smut, like, very loving and passionate smut.
this relationship is not perfect, it's also a depiction of a moment in time in 1997. the emotional load was very much a woman's job and i personally think steve would be 'too proud' to be 'too soft' about his stuff. so there are parts that seem kind of 'eh' but -- that's just how things were sorta.
gif by @kingofscoops
His pill case sounded like a rattle when you took it from the medicine cabinet, taking it into the kitchen where he was shrugging on his freshly ironed polo. The ironing board and hot iron still set up by the counter. The black stone contrasted nicely against your cherry wood cabinets that he installed two summers ago. That was when you both thought he might be getting better: the night terrors were less and less frequent, the flashbacks far and few between, he was less tense, less irritable. Seeking you constantly for soft touches and kisses, any kind of affection he could pull from you he'd take willingly.
Two years ago was your two year anniversary -- when he finally told you the real story. Why he had all those scars, why he can't sleep, why he wakes up in a cold sweat crying. Why you'd never been able to figure out which health care company was providing him with so much medication and therapy when he was working part time at the hospital -- it's because it was the FBI.
It was two years ago where they took you to an underground office where they told you everything. Steve sat next to you, gripping your hand so tightly you thought it might break. They reassured over and over that nothing was coming back, that everything was over, but that Steve and his friends will likely never recover emotionally and mentally from what they endured. Four years into things now, you were both his fiance and his nurse. You checked in monthly with his caseworking team, but in these last few months, they've had nothing but shaky reports. You wondered if maybe his mind just isn't as sharp as it used to be -- you both just entered your thirties, maybe things get knocked loose quicker when you've been to hell and back.
"Here, honey," you say softly, putting his pill case on the table. He looks at them and sighs, amber eyes lingering on the 'Saturday' section of the pill box.
"Let me get you some wa--"
"You don't need to give me my pills every day," he says -- it's soft and sharp, "I know I have to take them. I've been takin' them for ten years."
You offer him a tight smile, "I know, Stevie..." You trail off.
'It's important that he feels in control of the situation, a lot of his role when he was in this situation was to protect others. Try not to baby him about it, he might be fragile, but he doesn't like to feel like he is.'
"It's just...I don't want a repeat of last year," you quietly remind him. He had gotten too sure of himself when he started to feel better -- missing days, stopping altogether, off and on.
He reaches for the pill case and pops open the Saturday square, tossing the main five pills into his palm and then into his mouth. Pain, anti-depressant, anti-anxiety, migraine, blood thinner. The heavy stuff sat in the cabinet above the fridge: Quaaludes, Oxycontin, Sumatriptan, Clozapine -- among others. Every day was a reminder to him that he didn't come out of this a stronger person. His dad let him know that at every visit, treating him like he had a son made of glass.
"Don't," he says after he swallows, "Don't start with me."
Your eyes narrow in on the finger he puts up in warning and travels down to his big hand, a vein popping in his forearm and under the band of his watch. His bicep flexes against his polo, you follow it across the expanse of his chest and down the other arm, landing back on the pill case.
You knew last night what kind of day it would be this morning. Desperate reaches for you while he woke up from another nightmare, his damp chest up against yours while he hid his face in your neck. He hugs you so tightly to him so he doesn't float away, and you match his strength as best you can until he falls back asleep. Sometimes it takes hours of stroking his hair and soothing him before he feels safe enough to even close his eyes. In the years you've been together, he's been more and more embarrassed over these needier nights. 'It's just, baby -- I'm a man. I have to get over all this shit.'
"I'm not starting anyth--"
"You are," he warns, eyes narrowing. He clenches his jaw, "Don't."
"M'sorry," you breath out. You take the pill case when he sets it back down and bring it back upstairs to the main bathroom. You refill the case before placing it back in the medicine cabinet with a sigh. When it closes you look at yourself in the mirror, no longer the fresh 26 year old he met at the hospital admin desk when he started his part time job as an assistant in the children's psych floor. Gaining hours towards getting his pediatric therapist licensure to help kids who were like him and his friends -- well, sort of. To some extent.
You smooth over your button down dress, his favorite one in your closet -- navy blue with beige flowers littering the fabric. It flounces over you in dips and swoops, falling just under your knee. Another sigh and you grab your purse from the bedroom and slip on your sandals, clip clopping down the stairs where you hear him grab the keys. Another Saturday morning where the group gets together and just hangs out, even though Steve sees Eddie, Rob, and Dustin pretty often throughout the week. They've been doing it for years now, but the outside buzzed with the promise of summer, Memorial Day weekend making everyone feel more at ease.
Everyone except Steve.
He slams the car door when he gets in the drivers seat, making you jump in the leather of his Lexus. He runs his hands over his jean clad thighs, having grown in size over the last six years with age and trips to the gym. 'I just wanna be in like, peak physical condition if anything tries to come back. I wanna be more ready than when I was a kid, y'know?' And while the muscle was certainly titilating, it made for a very wary you when things went left.
"Don't be like that, Stevie," you say softly, your voice calm and gentle like it is with patients on the floor, "I promise I wasn't trying to get on your case. Do you -- I don't know, do you wanna just stay home?"
"No," he snaps, looking ahead toward the road as he starts the car, "I didn't pack a cooler full of all the shit you made for this cook-out just the stay home."
"Can you relax?" you ask a little harsher than you planned, "Are you even good to drive?"
"I'm good. To drive," he says through gritted teeth, pulling down the street.
"Are you sure? 'Cause -- Honey you -- you didn't sleep so good last night and I --"
He hits the breaks hard, stopping short at a stop light turning to look at you, tilting his head a bit to glare at you down the slope of his straight nose.
"Drop it," he says, the tenseness in his voice sends a chill up your spine.
"Stevie I'm not trying t --"
"Drop. It." he warns again, "Don't make me raise my voice at you."
"Don't talk to me like that," you say sharply while he pulls the car forward when the light turns green.
"Then don't talk to me like I'm a fucking child," he snaps back.
"Well maybe if you didn't have an attitude with me like one I wouldn't have to," you cross your arms over your seat belt and huff. He shakes his head slowly, tongue tight between his teeth. He thought he knew better than to fall in love with someone who had a tongue as sharp as his.
"You're askin' for an argument when you say shit like that to me," he says lowly, the Lexus crunching over helicopter seeds while he navigates through the neighborhood. You see his shoulders rise and fall while he attempts to steady himself -- fuse lit and ready to blow.
"I'm sorry," you follow up, a deep breath filling your chest. You uncross your arms to lean your elbow on the edge of the window, resting your cheek in your hand, "I didn't mean that."
"You did," he responds, tight and frustrated, quiet. He hastily reaches into his back pocket with one hand, eyes still on the road. Steve pops a cigarette between his full lips and you sigh at the sound of the lighter flicking.
“What’s wrong now, hm?” he asks while the cigarette dangles from the corner of his mouth, “What’s your problem?”
“Nothing,” you say – it’s something. He takes a drag and blows the smoke out the open window, “It’s just that you bought that pack yesterday and it’s already half way gone. You always chain smoke when you –”
“Give me a fucking break,” he snaps, voice raising with each word, “God, can you let me have fuckin’ anything?”
“No Steve, I guess not. God forbid I look out for your heal–” you start sarcastically.
“Look out for yourself, baby,” he says sharply into the rearview so you can see his glare, “I’m doin’ just fine without you on my back.”
You bicker the rest of the way to Ed and Nancy’s house, he only raises his voice one more time.
Eddie and Nancy's wedding was one for the ages, something about the mixture of straight laced and all over the place that made sense when they tied the knot. The pair, you were told, seemed unlikely until Eddie was in recovery after being removed from the Upside Down. He was down there for six months, tested on for another six.
The Party and the older kids would visit him every day, keeping him updated and fed and hydrated. They'd cheer him on when he made advances in his mobility -- but for the most part he just needed rest. Nancy was working a lot, throwing herself into journalism like she always wanted, so she'd come to the hospital late. She wasn't really one for small talk so instead, she'd just read. She'd read aloud while he was asleep, her voice slow and calm -- stoic. Keeping him lulled like still water, she didn't even know if he knew she was there.
One night, she picked up where she left off on the first installment of Lord of the Rings, continuing in her soft stoic voice. She watched him lay there with his eyes closed, breath steady, the beeps of the hospital machines in quiet rhythm with him. She at frist felt silly before she started, but maybe in his dreams he could hear her, and maybe just maybe if she does something fun, he won't have nightmares tonight.
So she tries it...she puts on a silly voice for Samwise, and she continues with her silly voices. Gruff and manly for Aragorn, gleeful for Sam, some weird form of Scottish for Gimli. She bites her lip, smiling as she tries each one, shaking her curly head at her ridiculousness and stops. Then she hears it...the low rumbling giggle from Eddie in his hospital bed.
"Keep going, it's funny..." he said with a grin, eyes still closed.
"You can hear me?" she asked, trying to stifle her giggle.
"I can hear you every night," he said, eyes peering open slightly, "It's the best."
"Do you want me to keep reading?" she asked with a blush.
He nods, a soft grin pulling up on his lips while he eyes closes again, "Only if you do the voices."
When you park in the driveway it's clear that the rest of the group arrived before you, their cars already Tetris'd into their places. Steve lugs the cooler out of the back seat with a grunt, hoisting it to rest on his broad shoulder. You roll your eyes at his machismo, like someone is watching him at all times and he has something to prove. You both walk to the back, the sounds of music and conversation and laughter bubbling louder and louder as you get to the gate of the yard.
A symphony of 'Heeeyyy!' and 'There he is!' and 'Finally!' come from the group as he opens the gate and you follow in toe. Eddie comes over quickly to help with the cooler, his hair still as long as it was when he was 20 – the only real updates being his five o’clock shadow and the ring in his nose. A few more weary tired lines by his eyes. His home made Iron Maiden muscle tee had a small sweat mark by the neckline – they must’ve been out here getting ready all morning.
“Hey man,” he grins when the cooler gets set down, pulling Steve in for a tight hug.
“Hey,” Steve smiles, patting his back hard, savoring the hold.
“You alright?” Eddie asks when he lets go, putting a hand to his face, “You feeling okay?”
Steve smiles tightly and nods but Eddie only half buys it, returning his look before turning to you. He comes forward, kissing both your cheeks with his full lips, scruff scratching at your skin, “Hi, sweetheart.”
“Hi Ed,” you grin, watching everyone else come up to say their hellos.
“Where’s Nance?” Steve asks, but his question is answered when she waddles out of the sliding door of the kitchen with a pitcher of lemonade. From the back, you’d have no idea she was seven months pregnant, but from the side – let’s just say, it was gonna be a real big boy.
“Honey, what did I say?” Eddie calls out, walking over to her and taking the pitcher.
“It’s not even heavy,” she chides back with an exasperated eye roll. You giggle at their bickering, listening to their sweet back and forth with a gentle ache in your chest. You wonder if Steve will be the same way when you’re pregnant. You wonder if the back and forths will sound so sweet, so innocent, so soft. Your thoughts are interrupted by the sound of the cooler opening, turning to look and grab what you can to put in the fridge inside. Steve takes the meat out to put by the grill and a few appetizers that you put together last nice. You take the icebox cake and chocolate covered strawberries, hurrying with them through the sliding door into the kitchen.
“I know, mommy just thinks she can do it all,” Eddie coos, resting his hands on Nancy’s stomach while she slices cheeseburger toppings on the counter, “She just won’t rest, are you gonna be like that too? You gonna run me ragged? You gonna be just like mommy?”
Nancy laughs and it’s half airy, half from deep in her belly, “Look, it’s just better if I’m active so that I’m not surprised by it when he’s born.”
“I know,” he says, kissing her cheek, “I know. You still love me, Wheeler?”
“Love you always,” she grins, blushing when she sees you come in with desserts, “Oh! Oh my goodness, let me help you!”
“I got it!” you say, “Just hope there’s room in the fridge!”
When everything’s loaded up you give each other a hug, watching as Eddie and Steve have a mildly stern conversation about who is grilling what.
‘It’s my grill.’
‘And? It’s my meat.’
“Do you think they should just kiss?” you ask while you watch them.
“Honestly, I feel like they need to at this point," she laughs, "Go on outside, I’ll be out in a few,” Nancy encourages and you make your way back out into the very early summer heat – mugginess starting to soak the air around you. Before you know it, you’re already being pulled over to the picnic table to watch a game of Magic the Gathering between Lucas, Max, Dustin, Mike, and Will. El doesn’t come back to Hawkins very much,so you’ve been told – she’s the only person from the group you haven’t met.
“So is this like D&D?” you ask, resting your cheek against your palm while you lean on the table.
“Yes and no,” Max explains, looking at her options, “It’s like…”
“Like poker but D&D,” Dustin says, making Mike, Will, and Lucas snort.
“I think that’s the easiest way to explain it to you,” Mike says.
“I trust that,” you laugh with them. You’ve been consistently hopeless with trying to learn the mechanics of Dungeons and Dragons but still enjoy watching, loving it more when Steve decides to join a campaign. He lets loose in ways you’ve never seen when he does, smiling and laughing, free like a child in the summertime.
The sun beating on your back suddenly disappears when you hear Steve come up behind you with a hand on your shoulder, “Can I have my glasses, honey?”
“They’re in the glove box,” you say, turning around, “Why do you need them?”
“Oh, is Erica making you read her thesis outline?” Lucas asks, “Just tell her to buzz off. She already passed it in.”
“Sinclair – don’t be an asshole,” Steve gives him a look that can only be described as ‘bitchy’, “She wants some assurance. We need another psychologist in the family, and she’s obviously the only one smart enough to get it done.”
“Rude,” Max deadpans, flicking her eyes up at him.
“You’re rude, twerp,” he says back, he turns back to you after sucking his teeth, "My glasses?"
“I just said, in the glovebox,” you repeat, a little sharper than you meant to. He lets out a huff through his nose, looking at you like he can’t believe you’d get snippy with him before stomping off toward the gate of the yard.
“Is he alright?” Dustin asks quietly, “I saw him on Thursday he just…I don’t know, he seems a little tense.”
“He had a bad night,” you explain, toying at a splinter in the wood, “He’ll be okay.”
The sun disappears again but not from the expanse of your fiance’s shoulders and chest, but from a thick cloud moving slowly across the sky. The relief from the heat is almost welcomed until you feel the humidity raise a bit in the air – a little too tight, a little too suffocating for your taste.
The party is in full swing while Meredith Brooks’ ‘Bitch,’ blares from the boom box, Nancy and Max screaming the lyrics with abandon while the boys groan. You smile at how much fun they’re having, the afternoon going smoothly enough that you haven’t had time to notice how cloudy the sky had become. Your eyes linger on Steve, glasses on while looking at Erica’s thesis outline with her on the back porch. He had a pen in one hand and a cigarette in the other, the fifth one in the last hour and a half.
"You got something here," he says to her, tapping his pen while continues reading, "Your argument's really strong -- especially about the rates of homelessness, it's almost always trauma related."
"Well -- I am me," she says. He raises his brows and nods in agreement.
"Can't spell America without Erica," he teases. You watch him, how gentle he is and how he taps through outline, asking her questions about how she feels about the finished thesis, where she got it bound, if the articles he sent over were helpful. They speak in words you don't understand, but it's okay -- he looks calmer, brows softened while they talk, so encouraging.
"I'm a bitch, I'm a lover,
I'm a child, I'm a mother,
I'm a sinner, I'm a saint,
I do not feel ashamed --"
Eddie's rasp pierces the groups singing and conversation as he belts the lyrics next to his wife. Everyone looks up to watch him go, laughing as he does.
"We should cover this," he grins, "Me and the guys, we gotta cover this at the next show."
"So you can get boo'd off the stage?" Mike laughs.
"So I can make sure your ass doesn't get in the bar?" he asks back. Mike scowls while Dustin laughs at him -- it's always smarter to not try it with Eddie, he'd always get you back ten fold.
With a jolt, you feel something cold hit your hand, looking down to see a water drop splat against your skin. Then another, and another, and another. After the fourth or fifth, the rain starts to come down -- and then it starts to pour.
"Alright!" Nancy calls, "Everyone grab something and head inside."
The Party rises, wincing as the rain pellets down on them while everyone grabs a foil tray or covered Pyrex filled with food. You follow suit, hurrying inside with the undressed cheeseburgers and buns, laying them safe on the counter in the kitchen. Everyone else starts to file in, Steve and Eddie turning off the grill while the sky starts to darken significantly. The first rumble of thunder sends everyone's face to a flat line -- you wished Robin wasn't spending the weekend in New York City so that you'd have someone on the front lines with you and Nancy to keep everyone at ease. Nancy and Robin definitely had their moments but had a much tighter grasp on the world around them now.
A few flashes of lightening crack followed by deep rumbles of thunder. Boom, crack! Boom, crack, crack! You notice everyone resettle themselves around the kitchen table -- jittery, quiet. You sit down across from Steve while he looks down, following the woodgrain with his finger. You keep your gaze on his chest, watching for a tell -- he swallows the frustration he feels from having your eyes on him.
"It's alright guys, just a storm," Nancy reminds everyone gently while she brings in the last of the food from outside. Eddie gets her seated before opening things back on the counter, the kitchen smelling like barbecue while he opens the foils. The conversations start around you again while you sit across from Steve, the tension sitting like a weighted stone in your chest.
Another flash of lightning and that's when you notice it, the twitch of his hand. The thunder rumbles and he reaches up to rub his eyes with his thumb and forefinger under his glasses. Shit.
"You okay, honey?" you ask him softly.
He swallows, jaw clenching, "Mhm."
"Okay," you nod, trying not to bring attention to it just yet, just incase it passes. The thunder booms again and he lets out a breath through his nose, he takes his glasses off and rubs his eyes more agressively. You tap your foot under the table and he can hear it, he can hear everything in the room -- the scrapes of foil on foil. The separate conversations. Eddie's laugh while he talks to Nancy. The clinks of silverware. Ice in cups. The drumming of fingers. Your tap. Tap. Tap. Tapping. Under the fucking table could you just stop tapping your fucking foot --
The next crack of lightening is so intense it shakes the house and everyone gets quiet.
'Just a storm', Nancy reminds, but her voice sounds far away.
Thunder rumbles again in the distance and he swears when the lightening flashes through the windows it's red. He rubs his eyes again, a short burst of breath coming through his nose.
'Honey?' he hears you but its like he has cotton in his ears. The thunder rumbles again, the slick squelching of vines starts to creep into the sound of it. Another crack of lighting and the lights in the kitchen flicker. But when they turn back on Steve isn't with the group anymore. He's not even in the kitchen.
He's back at the Creel House.
'Baby? Steve?' your voice is distant -- does Vecna have you? Did he find you? Is he taking you away from him?
Steve whimpers, getting out of the chair, pulling at the roots of his light brown locks -- desperate to pull himself out of the memory, "Help, please..."
"I'm here, Steve," you say rounding the table while the rest of the group stands back, getting ready to help. Max grabs a boom box and Lucas runs to his car to grab his tapes with everyone's favorite songs on it -- just in case. Dustin approaches him slowly, hands out in front of him while Steve shrinks to the floor, back against the cabinets.
"Steve, it's me, it's Dustin," he says calmly and slowly, "You're in Eddie's kitchen, Steve."
But Steve only hears Dustin saying his name -- Dustin must be in trouble.
"I'm coming," Steve says, eyes shut tight, falling further away. You watch as sweat grows on his hair line and neck, muttering a fuck under you breath. This was gonna be a bad one.
"Honey, honey," you continue, kneeling down in front of him to ease his hands off of his hair, "You're okay, you're safe. I'm with you."
'Honey.' He hears your voice in the distance, searching for you in the blue black haze of the Upside Down, the thick particles of dust in his eyes. The slither of vines covers the walls and the floors while he ascends the stairs -- where are Nancy and Robin? Weren't they with him?
"Nance?" You watch him call out for Nancy and she goes to get up but Eddie puts his hand delicately on her shoulder. He shakes his head no at her, "Just talk to him," he says to her.
'I'm here, Steve, it's okay!'
'It's okay!'
But it's not Nancy's voice, it gets more an more deep, more gravelly, more like him. Steve flinches in front of you, soft 'no, no, no's slipping from his mouth.
'Stevie...'
Where are you? Does he have you?
'S̷T̴E̶V̴I̷E̵.'
The sound of Vecna's voice booms in his ears, the thunder rumbling, the red lighting flashing to light up the house. You were never here -- Vecna tricked him. He breathes hard, looking around while the vines snake around, searching for him.
"Okay, okay baby," you say hurriedly, watching him while he starts to hyperventilate. You raise your voice to get through to him, "Honey you gotta take some deep breaths for me, okay? Can you hear me?"
Max and Lucas come back, smacking the tape into the radio and fastforwarding until Marc Cohn's Walking In Memphis crackles through the speakers. They both heave breaths while the song plays, leaning over the table to settle down from running.
"You hear the song, honey?" you ask, "Can you hear it? Talk to me, Steve."
You reach your hands up, sliding slowly up his chest to rest your hands by his jaw in a soothing touch. But for Steve in the Creel House, the vines have found him, slithering up his chest and around his neck, tighter and tighter against the wall. He tenses, big hands coming up and grabbing your wrists with a grip so tight you whimper.
"No, shit, shit, shit! Fuck! STOP! NO! I CAN'T!" he panics, gasping for breath while his nails dig into your forearms and drag painfully downward why he tries to pull you away.
"Ow, ow baby, hey, you're hurting me," you yelp out. He doesn't stop, eyes switching from tightly closed to open and unfocused while he reaches up to your biceps, clawing at them in defense. You reach out a final time.
"Honey, honey, please, it's me," you say, tears balancing on your lower lashes while he rises, taking you with him. He handles you real rough, grabbing you by the shoulders and throwing you to the ground with a loud thud. And god does it hurt.
"HEY!" Eddie's voice booms out, gruff and loud like the rumbles of thunder outside. He gets behind Steve, pulling his arms close to his chest while Steve struggles against him. Erica and Mike hurry toward you to help you slowly up off the floor. You reel at first, wanting to run back to him.
"Stay in front of her Wheeler," Ed warns, "You all stay right there."
You stand behind Mike with Erica who takes your hand tightly in hers. You feel the pulse of pain in your arms when you look down -- gouges and deep scrapes, the blood shines in the line of the kitchen. You shake your head out of it and watch on as Eddie and Dustin do what they can to help -- the song continues to play in the background.
"No, no," Steve whimpers, twisting his wrists in Eddie's grasp to break free, but in this state Eddie is stronger. He pulls him close, Steve back to his chest while they sink back down against the cabinets.
"Shh," Eddie soothes, still holding him tight, "We got you, just listen -- you're in my kitchen. You hear the song playing?" Steve grunts, thrashing while Eddie hugs him tighter to him.
"Steve, listen, listen to the song," Dustin says, "Focus on me and Eddie's voice, listen."
Steve struggles, less intense than before, "Shh, shh, it's okay Harrington," Eddie soothes, rocking him slowly back and forth.
"They need me," Steve cries weakly, breaths slowing while he pulls again at Eddie's hold, "Gotta save 'em..."
"Steve," Dustin says again, getting closer. He rubs his shoulder slowly, pressing his thumb into the joint, "We're safe, all the kids are safe."
"Safe..." he repeats back. Eddie sighs a little in apprehensive relief, letting go of one wrist to run a hand over his head, turning Steve's face into his chest and holding him close.
"That's right, Steve," Eddie says softly, "Safe."
'Saw the ghost of Elvis, on Union Avenue,
Followed him up to the Gates of Graceland
And they watched him walk right through...'
Steve can hear the lyrics, warbled and tinny in the Upside Down.
'Safe, safe, safe.' Echoing through the walls -- it gets dimmer.
'Now security they did not see him,
They just hovered round his tomb...'
Dimmer and dimmer.
'Almost over buddy, I can tell, we're right here. You feel Henderson?'
A soft warm rub on his shoulder, the lyrics to the song, Eddie's voice.
The sound of vines fade away, he hears the rain, it fades to black.
"Walkin' in Memphis..." Steve whispers, half confused, while his eyes open and focus -- squinting in the light of the kitchen. Overwhelmed he looks around while the room tilts on it's axis. He grips Eddie's leg tightly to steady himself, he's breaths picking up again.
"It's okay buddy, it's just us," Eddie says again, "You with me?"
Steve nods, face cracking while he lets out a broken sob. You can only watch while Eddie flicks his eyes up at you in another warning to not come closer yet. Dustin let's go while Eddie starts to hoist him up, wrapping Steve's arm around his shoulder while he helps him to the guest room down the hall.
"C'mon big boy," he says gently, "Let's get you some rest."
Things feel a little quiet after Eddie comes back from the guest room, he's tense -- no longer having fun the way he was before. His eyes are dark while he heads outside into the rain to have a cigarette. Lucas turns off the stereo and The Party sits back down at the kitchen table for a moment to decompress. They silently take out of the Magic the Gathering cards and start to set up again, Erica joins them seamlessly.
When things seems a semblance of stable, Nancy gets up and takes your hand and leads you to the bathroom, "Let's check you out, alright?"
You sit on the toilet seat cover while Nancy takes out a first aid kit from under the sink. You listen while she hums the climax of Whitney's 'I Have Nothing' quietly, searching the medicine cabinet for some Bactine for your cuts.
"Are you okay?" she asks, taking both of your hands to outstretch your arms, she turns them to see the damage -- she tries to hide her face of disappointment but it's clear.
"I'll be fine," you say softly while she wipes down the gouges and scrapes, "I can take care of it Nance."
"No, you just -- just let me," she says softly. The Bactine stings -- so does the way she looks at you -- pitifully. You hear Eddie's boots clomp down the hallway before he shows up at the door frame of the bathroom.
"You okay, sweetheart?" he asks -- you wish people would stop asking. They only ask when they see him lose control. You do this all the time, you take care of him all the time.
"I'm okay," you repeat, "A little banged up, but y'know. It's okay."
"Does he do that alot?" Eddie asks, his jaw clenching, "Does he hurt you a lot?"
"This is one of maybe...I don't know -- four times he's gotten physical with me during an episode," you explain, "And you all know about them."
"Does he hurt you when he's here?" Eddie asks, tapping at his temple.
"No, Ed, don't be ridiculous," you sigh, exasperated that he'd even ask.
"Steve's not like that, Eddie," Nancy says, "We've been over this."
"Well, here's the thing Nance," he starts, tense, "We're ten years out of this shit and no matter how bad my shit got I've never put a hand on you like that. Ever."
"Eddie --"
"No, no, listen," he says, "I don't like that, and I especially don't like that happening in my house in front of my pregnant wife."
"And what would you like me to do about it, Ed?" you snap, "I can't -- fuck -- I can't fucking fix him for you."
"I'm not asking you to fix him," he says back, a pain deep in his chest coming through with his voice, "I'm asking you to be sure that you still want to be a part of this -- your wedding's what -- October? You really wanna be worrying about this?"
"For better or for worse, right?" you ask back, choking on the lump in your throat, "That's the promise."
Eddie tucks his lips in, his own eyes getting teary while he scans the gouges that Nancy carefully puts bandaids over.
"Ice your hip and shoulder for the first couple days," he mutters, biting the edge of his them, "After a fall like that. Then heat."
You nod, quietly murmuring a thank you.
"S'what my mom used to do," he says under his breath. Eddie scans you slowly one more time, swallowing hard before pushing off the door frame and walking back down the hall. You hear their bedroom door click closed in the distance.
"You know how he gets," Nancy says, "Stuff like that y'know -- that's hard for him."
"I know."
She takes a washcloth, running it under cold water before squeezing it out. Droplets fall on the fabric of her light purple maternity shirt, leaving dark people marks on the top of her belly. She hands it to you.
"Here, for his head," she says softly, "In case he's not all the way back yet."
You creep slowly into the guest room, seeing him laying on his stomach with half his face buried in the pillow. His sculpted arms tucked under it to give him something to hold.
"Baby?" you ask quietly, "You awake?"
He nods with his eyes closed and you look him over -- big hulking man who needs to be held. He hates it but you can't help but love him for knowing he needs it. You put the wet face cloth on the side table, sliding down next to him while he moves over to his side. In one swift motion you've replaced the pillow -- arms wrapping tight around your waist and up your back, one hand molding over your shoulder. He hides his face in your neck and you can feel his tears on his lashes and cheeks. His shoulders shake while he cries for a while, cold sweat damp on his shirt and the back of his neck. You never check how long he cries for – as long as he does.
“I’m here,” you say softly, nails grazing his scalp in a steady swipe, “I’m right here.”
You adjust a bit in his hold and you feel his grip tighten slightly, a soft whine of desperation leaking from his throat.
“Don’t go, please,” he begs softly.
“M’not going anywhere big guy,” you soothe, “This wedding’s already put us ten grand in the hole. Where would I even go, now?”
You hear a soft ‘tsss’ come out of him, a tug of a smile against the skin of your neck where he hides.
“Oh, is that funny?” you joke, still coasting your fingers through his hair. He groans, letting his arms let go of you so he can sit up, you can see the tension in his body still. Steve looks down at you with tear stained cheeks and tired eyes, beckoning you forward with his fingers. You sit up for your thank you kiss, his warm palm cupping your cheek while he holds you gently in place. He kisses once slowly, then twice, three times – holding the last so you know he means it. When you break away he rests his forehead against yours, offering a few shallow breaths. You stand up off the bed while he sits off the edge of it, standing between his thighs.
"Did I hurt you?" he asks softly. He asks after every episode ever since he did hurt you back when you first started dating. A swift smack to the arm that stung for a solid twenty minutes afterward with the amount of power he put into it. It welted. He cried for hours. He wrote you love letters every day for a week.
You nod, showing him the scratches and bandages on your arms, "I think you thought I was a vine or something. You threw me. Like, to the ground. It was pretty hard."
His lower lip quivers, "No, no, no."
“No, Steve,” you assure, trying to calm him, “It’s okay, you didn’t know. It’s alright, I’m alright. It was an accident.”
His face contorts while the tears start again, his big hands reach out to your waist, pulling you close to him, "It's not okay, it's not alright."
His voice raises an octave while he cries, "I'm sorry, baby."
"It's okay, Stevie, shh," you whisper to him, he pulls you in tighter, body shaking while pressing his nose against your cheek.
"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry," he cries, sniffling, "You know I didn't mean it."
"I know you didn't," you say back, your own cry getting caught in your throat. He sniffles again, leaning back to face you, both of his hands cupping your cheeks, his thumbs rubbing the apples.
"I love you," he says with a depth and intensity that makes the lump in your throat give way. You cry with him and it breaks his heart, "I love you so much honey, you know I’d never…"
You nod, trying to calm your cry the way he was able to calm his -- so used to swallowing it up even though you'd beg him not to.
"I – shit – I have to tell you something," he says softly, hands sliding from your cheeks back down to your waist and then your hips. He looks down at the small triangle of mattress between you and the apex of his thighs.
"What's up, Steve?" you ask, running your hands through his hair again soothingly, "What is it?"
He lifts his head up, eyes shutting at the comforting touch, but when he opens them he looks defeated -- guilty, "I haven't been taking my meds at night. I was -- was flushin’ them cause I just -- baby, I don't know. I can't keep depending on this shit."
"Steve."
"I know," he nods, "I know...That's why -- that's why my shit's getting worse."
"You're not just taking this stuff to take it," you say, cupping his cheeks, "It's to keep you here. It's to keep you with me."
"I know," he repeats, voice cracking again, "I'll call my shrink tomorrow I promise. I'll get back on track. Fuck -- I'm sorry -- and I'm -- I'm sorry I was so mean to you this morning."
"It's okay," you nod, pressing a kiss to his forehead. You drop your hands and rub his shoulder, "I think we should go home, alright? We can get on the couch for the night and just rest."
"Okay," he says quietly, nodding. He slowly gets up off the bed, a little dizzy, using you for support. You both slowly walk out of the bedroom, Nancy peeking around the end of the hall.
"Everything good?" she asks.
You smile at her, "Yeah, I think we're gonna head home."
She smiles tightly, heading into the kitchen where the rest of the group still sits, eating and talking. Their heads turn when you both come into view -- soft eyes and smiles.
"I'm okay, guys," Steve nods, barely able to meet their gazes, "It's fine."
Nancy approaches you with a few tupperwares filled with food and dessert, "We'll get the cooler back to you on Tuesday."
"Don't worry about it," you smile, gathering the tupperware in your arms. You watch as the group gets up one by one to give Steve a hug goodbye. Their movements are slow and controlled, warning touches on his shoulders beforehand to remind him ‘It’s just me, it’s just my arms, I’m hugging you’. Soft mumbled words of support, nothing too loud – don’t startle each other. Wraiths of the friendship they all shared earlier. Rehearsed reactions to all of their sensitive needs – if you’ve seen one episode, you’ve seen all of theirs. And you had, once or twice.
“I’ll get a copy bound for you,” Erica says while she hugs him.
“You make me so proud, Sinclair,” he smiles.
Nancy walks you both to the door and you turn, “How’s Ed?”
“He’ll call later,” she nods, a look behind her eyes that matches yours. You hug goodbye, share quick reminders about food for the baby shower and a few crafty decoration plans before heading to the car with a very tired Steve.
The rain patters on the hood of the Lexus while you both sit in the leather interior, this time with you in the driver's seat. He rubs at his temples with his eyes closed while you rifle through your purse for a sandwich baggie of emergency migraine medicine.
“Here,” you say, handing him the pill, “Before it starts to get bad.”
“Hmm,” he grumbles in agreement, popping it in his dry mouth to suck it down.
“We’ll be home soon, okay?” you say, hand coming down on his thigh reassuringly, “Just close your eyes for now.”
He takes the tupperwares when you get out of the car, fishing his keys out of his back pocket while he does. His strides are long while you hurry up behind him, following him into the house only to bump into his back while he’s stopped by the thermostat to turn on the air.
“Sorry,” you say softly.
“S’okay,” he replies back, barely above a whisper.
He puts the food in the fridge while you head upstairs to start a shower, a ritual you’ve both come to learn well after days or nights like these. You take out the good soap, the shower oil, all the aroma therapy you can to get him to ease up. Anyone else watching you get things ready would assume it was about to be a very sexy time for you.
On the same coin, these showers are probably the most intimate moments you have with each other. He comes in as the room starts to steam and you help him ease off his polo, you start on the buttons of your dress while he takes off his jeans and socks. He helps with your bra, both of you shedding your underwear at the same time before you step in. Steve soothes almost instantly, his muscles relaxing under the hot stream, sighing further while he gets soaped up. You don’t have to be in there with him, but you do. He needs you so close so he doesn’t float away.
His favorite part comes near the end, sitting in the flow of the shower together while you wash his hair. His eyes flutter closed while your nails scratch and massage him – he swears his hair is even thicker than it was before with all the blood flow you encourage. You wash his hair twice, then deep condition, holding him to your chest while you wait the five minutes it takes to settle in. He leaves soft kisses on your collar bone, on all the marks he left on you in Nance and Eddie's kitchen. He holds your hand, so you can’t float away.
You both end up on the couch afterward, the leather groaning beneath you both while you lay across the deep seat cushions, you lay on your back, he lays on his side against you. The heat of his bare chest warms you through your oversized sleep shirt. His soft sweat pants tangle up with your bare legs. You let whatever’s on TV play – reruns you guess, you’re thinking about too many other things.
“How’s your head, baby?” you ask while his eyes shut, leaning on your shoulder.
“S’fine, better,” he says, he lifts your hand and kisses your fingers before placing both his and your hand on your chest over your heart. The ba-dump, ba-dump, ba-dum lulling him to sleep. You half watch TV for however long until your own eyelids get heavy. You click off the TV and opt to turn the stereo on low, just so he doesn’t get lost while he sleeps.
You wake up to oldies, music your parents would listen to on records in the living room growing up – songs that came out a few years before you were born. Oldies. It's dark outside but you can still hear the rain. Steve’s already awake, just watching you while his hand smooths back and forth over your sternum.
“You snored,” he says.
“Good,” you reply quietly.
You both snort out breathy laughs, feeling the warmth of his lips as they smoosh against your cheek.
“How you feeling?” he asks, hand coming up to rest on your cheek, sliding down the side of your neck.
“A little banged up,” you say, “Might bruise.”
“M’sorry,” he says again, a tinge of guilty pink tinging his ears.
“It’s okay,” you repeat for what feels like the thousandth time in the past six hours.
“You looked really pretty today,” Steve says gently, almost sheepish, “I should’ve told you.”
“You looked really handsome,” you say back, “But you were kind of being an asshole so I didn’t want to tell you.”
“You should’ve told me, it probably would’ve cured my PTSD,” he says seriously but sarcastically, “Could’ve saved the entire afternoon if you just said how good I looked. Prob’ly wouldn’t have had an episode.”
“You’re such an ass,” you laugh, smiling. He leans in to kiss you and it’s the kind that makes you too weak to stand. That kiss got him a second date, it proved that they said about old King Steve in highschool. On the stereo, Sherry Baby bleeds into Unchained Melody.
His hand reaches up under your neck to tilt you up toward him, tasting your tongue with his, guiding you with his kiss, “Angel…” he murmurs. He breathes through his nose while he keeps his lips pressed to yours, desperate to stay here in this moment, attached to you.
“Steve,” you say softly, breaking away, “Stevie…”
“Please,” he whispers, nuzzling your nose slowly, “Please.”
“Lemme take care of you.”
“I…” your thoughts trail off while he kisses your neck, sucking and nibbling gently at the spot just by the hinge of your jaw. He waits for your soft sigh, the tilt of your hips towards him – your allowance. He grins when he hears the air pass your lips, the realignment of your spine beneath him while he settles between your squishy thighs. His hands travel south, pushing up the hem of your big t-shirt to your waist, holding you there for a moment while his kiss takes over your mouth again.
He tugs your cotton panties down, breaking the kiss while he sits up on the couch to slide them off your ankles. Steve looks down at you with an expression that makes your breath catch in your chest, serious – with supple lips, needy eyes. He leads himself back down again, big hands sliding down the sides of your thighs over your hips to your waist again. Instinctively, your legs spring up to wrap around him while his hips align with yours, feeling his strained cock in his sweats against you.
“Jesus…” he whispers again, eyes fluttering closed. He buries his face in your neck while you rock slowly against him, the pressure and friction against the underside of his erection sending low volts through his body.
“Mm-mm,” he grunts, shaking his head ‘no’ while mumbling, “It’s supposed to be about you.”
“Well stop dangling it in front of me then,” you giggle quietly, he giggles too. The smile sends you reeling, his pretty teeth, the way his nose scrunches. He leans forward again to kiss, he just can’t stop kissing, can’t stop tasting your lips, feeling you against him. Steve’s hand reaches down to pull himself out of his sweats, pushing the waistband to the tops of his thighs while he uses the other to push one thigh out off the couch.
“You ready f’me?” he asks huskily, tip dragging slowly from the pool of slick at your opening up in between your folds. He lets his thumb run in slow circles over your clit while he waits for your answer, your slow nod while you lean your head back on the arm rest gives him the okay. He eases himself in slow, the tip pushing past your opening with some resistance.
“Open up a lil’, honey,” he mumbles quietly while he guides the tip in again, “Open up for me.”
Your little gasps float out of you and into the fuzzy part of his brain, gliding down his spine. You angle your hips upward, one thigh up against the couch cushions and the other dangling over the edge, spread as wide as you can. He holds himself above you with one arm, the other aiding in pushing himself further in, the tip finally breaching your core. He keeps guiding, slow back and forths while you ease open for him – taking him in, inch by inch.
“Oh yes, mhm,” he groans to himself softly, “Thass–hmm-that’s it, angel.” He let’s go when he’s three fourths in, crowding over you, forearms on each side of your head while he strokes slowly to start – getting you used to him, accommodating his size.
“That’s good?” he breathes.
“Ye-yeah,” you breathe back to him. His mouth latches to yours again, feeling him guide your hands up beside your head, lacing fingers while he presses you deeper into the couch cushions. He keeps his strokes slow and deliberate, feeling every ridge of you inside, how you suck him in and hug him tight in place – but how he feels isn’t nearly as important. It’s the way your brows contort, the way you bite your lip, your whines into his mouth while he kisses you. Each slow thrust makes you coat him in a new flow of slickness.
“C’mere,” he says into your jawline, letting go of one hand to sneak behind you at the waist, pulling you flush to him. The new angle makes you let out a whine while he hits a spot deep inside you, he grunts at the reaction, the feeling of you taking him in.
His pace picks up the smallest tick, face centimeters from yours – your noses brush, lips barely touching while his amber eyes keep steady on yours. You let out short huffs, little whimpers every time the head of his cock pushes deeper with every roll of your hips.
“S’nice, hm?” he asks, brows slanting, softening.
“Mhm,” you squeak back, “S-so good, honey.” Your legs pull in again, socked heels resting on the top of his butt while he sighs at the change in pressure.
“Thassperfect, god,” he hisses out, head dropping down to your chest, pressing sloppy kisses above your breasts while he gathers himself. He groans into your neck while wet warmth tightens over him, soft velvet walls coaxing him closer and closer to the edge.
Steve’s shoulders flex while he balances on his forearms above you again, your forgotten hand taken by his, fingers interlocked. His face inches from yours while he looks at you, the way your eyes flutter, the soft parting of your lips, the high pitched ‘Uhn, uhn, uhn, uhn,’s coming out of them — you’re so beautiful.
“So pretty,” he says to you, huffing a breath into a smile, “So pretty, baby.”
You kiss him a thank you. You see him swallow when he breaks away, his eyes getting glassy.
“S’gonna be okay,” he assures, nodding down at you, nose to nose, “We’re gonna be okay.” Slow thrusts between statements.
“Gonna get married,” he says, a groan flowing right down into your mouth while he kisses you, “Gonna be just like Ed and Nance, right?”
You nod while his thrusts get more passionate, deeper.
“Yeah? That’s nice?” he asks, “Marry you? Take you just like this after the wedding?”
“Yeah,” you gasp back, “Yes, Stevie.”
“Give you a baby?” he asks in a low whisper into your skin, lips pressing against your cheek, his strong nose dragging against your cheek bone, “Give you so many babies. You want that?”
“I want that,” you nod, face pinching while you feel yourself building up and up in a slow churn.
“You want that?” he asks again, coming back to hover over you — tears in his eyes, “You want that with me?”
You nod to each other while he embraces you in an old movie kiss, wrapping himself around you, pressing him to his chest while his thrusts get purposeful, controlled.
“I love you,” he pants into your ear, “I’m yours, m’all yours.”
“I love you, too,” you rasp back, free’d fingers interlocking in his hair. He gets leverage on his knees, the leather of the couch squeaking under him while he repositions. Soft smacks of skin between you echo in the living room against the backdrop of the low stereo.
“Oh my god, Steve,” you moan out, “You’re – oh god you’re so deep.”
“So deep, angel, Christ–” he huffs, trying to make a mental note of this position so he can remember it for October – really make it stick. His thought process stifled when your nails drag down his back, making his passionate thrusts quicken – a signature cocky smirk flick across his lips.
“Mmm, that feels good honey?” he asks – he knows the answer. Your mouth hangs open in a silent scream, tears glazing over your eyes while he feels you pulse over him. Thank god the couch was leather.
Watching you bathe in the afterglow of your orgasm he works you toward the second with ease, chasing his pleasure with each soaking thrust into you – so nice like this, so pliant – his little ragdoll. When he cums it’s deliberate, spilling inside you with your eyes on each other. You give one another breathless kisses, bodies interlocked, sticking to the couch in new found exhaustion.
The phone rings. Neither of you get up to answer it.
‘BEEP. You’ve reached the Harrington residence – Did you forget my last name isn’t Harr– If you’re calling before October 1997 then it’s not just the Harrington residence yet but – whatever you know what I mean. Leave a message, we might call ya back.’
“Hey Harrington it’s Munson, um, just making sure you’re okay, man. Sorry I disappeared for a little bit there. Love you, call me back when you can. Bye.”
thanks for reading. <3
#steve harrington x you#steve harrington#steve harrington x reader#steve harrington smut#steve harrington angst#steve harrington fan fiction#steve harrington one shot#steve harrington x y/n#steve harrington fanfic
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UNHINGED DISTANT VOICES THOUGHTS (or: now we don't have time to unpack all of that julian but --)
this ep has such a banger concept (several banger concepts that should have had an ep all to themselves, really), even if its overall implementation is pretty mid. the idea that julian seems to readily believe that the most central voices inside him are aggression, fear/suspicion, doubt, confidence/sense of adventure, professionalism... and garak, being surprisingly, seductively good at tennis and taking care of him :}
in a doylist perspective I don't think this is well-crafted enough to read into it too deeply before it starts to fall gently apart, but through a watsonian lens and my fannish heart this is fucking fascinating fdsjka. where. where are all the positive feelings and sides of you that aren't about bickering with garak julian. are you okay julian. I like that since the augment storyline hadn't been conceived of yet at this point, you could look back and justify Julian's surge of confidence at the end as him realizing the lethean hasn't been able to get that deep in his mind to find what that whole mess must look like in his brain. 'you don't understand me half as well as you think you do' gains such depth, basically accidentally
'I'm a part of you, remember? I know what you know. Well... maybe a little more.'
'Still the man of mystery?'
'Oh, you wouldn't have me any other way.'
what. the FUCK fhdskjha. what's more gay, the lethean having picked through bashir's brains for this characterization of garak and their relationship (that Bashir easily buys and depends on through the ep), or him seeing half a minute max of julian and garak having lunch and uh. drawing his own conclusions, apparently. wild stuff)
Isn't this also the first time we see Julian actually play tennis with someone? All the other times it's been racquetball, right? Well well. Interesting. is all I'll say.
avery brooks does SUCH a good job changing his voice in this to match julian's doctor voice, I almost jumped in surprise when he was talking b/c that certainly isn't sisko's voice coming out of sisko's mouth
garak alternatingly going 'now -- what do you want me to do?' in a very... willing directable sort of way and telling julian that he's a good boy doing good and being so supportive and attentive and that's how the lethean tries to keep julian's shields down the longest. many thoughts. few of them PG.
JULIAN'S REASONING THAT THIS REALLY ISN'T GARAK -- NOT EVEN HIS MIND'S VERSION OF GARAK -- IS THAT THIS GARAK ISN'T COMPETENT ENOUGH FSDKJFHKSDJ. and he sounds so petulant about it too. 'the real garak would have this fixed for me a long time ago if I just batted my eyelashes and told him I thought cylon pareg's body of work was very interesting and layered :'( I miss him'
jazdia julian BROtp got me crying in quark's tonight, this was such a good direction to take that relationship. I know they kind of fuck it up again in s7 but y'know I'll take the good stuff while it's here haha
julian makes for such an amazing crotchety old man im love him
julian has a near-lethal stress dream about turning 30 and being bisexual. it's weird but very entertaining, and garak is there
#star trek#star trek ds9#ds9#julian bashir#garashir#distant voices#if this is incoherent or insane... that's exactly how this ep made me feel that checks out call it diegetic or something
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Man I am so vanilla when it comes to ships in Hazbin...
Staticmoth: The epitome of toxic old men yaoi. They're just the worst. They push each other's buttons. They both have obsessions on the side but both want to be each other's center of attention. Other people's suffering gets them horny. They got married three times and divorced five times. They know exactly how horrible the other one is but it only makes them more attracted to each other. They're so toxic it's a health hazard for everyone around them. I wish nothing more than for them to die horribly while holding hands.
Chaggie: I've been shipping them since the pilot and I'll be real they were everything I wanted and even more. I always knew that their relationship would be mostly background stuff since they're an established couple, and I was excited to have something where the main character is in a stable and affectionate relationship. I didn't expect them to get a whole little storyarc with the whole angel drama... I'm just. So happy. Seeing them, knowing how much they supported each other over the years when they had no one else on their side, openly working out their issues... They're just everything that's good in the world.
Huskerdust: I feel about it a bit more differently compared to the previous two. I'm happy to see them just do whatever, but Huskerdust stands out because its development is kind of... part of the plot of the show, rather than just being an extra layer to their characters. I'm not even interested in fanfiction for them because I'm too excited to see how it progresses in the actual show.
Radiorose: QPR goals. Alastor having someone he's so comfortable with honestly elevated his character for me. I don't have a lot to say but I enjoy seeing them together immensely.
Appledust: guilty pleasure comfort ship, refer to this post for more context.
Ships I like less under the cut, I try not to be too mean but still, be careful.
Radiostatic (Or, I guess, Onewaybroadcast, rather): I like it a lot but only when it caters to my superspecific tastes. First of all it needs to be one-sided. The second Alastor reciprocates I'm like *Lucifer voice* "Who is this? Who is this man?" Second of all the "hate" part of the "hateboner" is essential (unless we're talking before their falling out). Vox both wants Alastor and wants him dead. It's been swirling inside him for years and had poisoned whatever relationship they had beforehand. There's no turning back from this.
RoyalHalo: I don't know how to explain it, but when I personally ship something "platonically", it's different from just regular shipping and different from having a brotp. Nothing much to say on the ship itself, they're cute.
Cherrisnake: I wish I could like it more but "Meh" is right. I think it has potential, unfortunately 8 episodes a season didn't allow it to develop. I wish we could have had Cherri before ep6 to establish her relationships with Angel and Pentious and I wish they had at least one genuine conversation before the end of the season.
Alastor x Charlie & Alastor x Angel: actually it's not about the ships themselves, just some bad experiences in the early fandom. Ik not all the shippers are like that, especially now when those ships are less popular and a lot of people are vocal about not liking them, but unfortunately I don't think I'll ever be able to enjoy them.
Lute x Vaggie: Nothing to say I just don't like it.
Val x Angel: I put a black line because my knee jerk reflex was to think of people like. Ignoring the abuse, but thinking about it, I do enjoy the exploration of their relationship if it's in-character. It's just not something I personally would consider "shipping". (But then what makes it different from onewaybroadcast? Guess I'm just a hypocrite or something)
"Found family" is a term that's used very differently by different people in the fandom, which is a little confusing to me, so I changed this category to "maybe".
Alastor x Husk: Much like the previous one, except I trust people with it even less after all the victimblaming Husk got after ep5.
Velvette x Vox and/or Velvette x Valentino: I don't ship those personally just for the reason that Vel genuinely seems uninterested, but I support the people who do. Especially the polyvees shipping. There's also additional element to this for me personally is that if Val and Vox were an item, there's a fear that Vel would come off as a third wheel or be pushed to the side, and if they were all together this wouldn't happen. So I have no choice but to support, even if I myself can't get into it.
Guitarspear: Lute ripping off her arm to go help Adam... The last thing Adam does before death is smile at her... God. They were also very fun hypemen for each other during songs, and just the general dynamic was really funny. I would say I like this ship when I see it, but I won't go out of my way to look for it?
Carmilla x Zestial: They're friends... The fanart is nice to look at. It's fine.
Radioapple: I'm conflicted. I guess I am kinda interested in what their relationship would be like in the show, but in fanworks I mostly enjoy the "they aren't actually attracted to each other but everyone thinks they are" dynamic. It's funny.
Pentious x Emily: Ok, one (1) crackship. My friend ships them and I kinda see the vision? Could be cute.
#.ramblings#idk how to best tag it... i guess I'll tag the ships I put above the cut lol#hazbin hotel#staticmoth#chaggie#huskerdust#radiorose#appledust
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Hi hi! I'm sure you have loads of asks to get through. But if you may, we talk a lot about Chilchuck and Marcille (as we should 'cause they're great!), but since you've mentioned that Laios is your fave char, I would love to hear if you have any takes on Laios and Izutsumi's dynamic. I feel sometimes like she doesn't really like him...? It's funny but I also feel bad for him sometimes. ^^;;
You can’t ask me this and expect me to not drop everything else I’m doing. Little did you know they are my brotp. They are so special. Izutsumi gets along more with literally everyone in the party, but their relationship was so narratively important. They’re a really underrated and overlooked dynamic! I’ve had them as a topic at the back of my mind for a while, seeing someone else interested was all the push I needed gdbdg. This isn’t super long though, their issues with each other and lil arc is surprisingly brief and easy to summarize.
Laios & Izutsumi : what’s their deal with each other
For me one foundational train of thought for Izutsumi & Laios is, well. I read this awesome smart post deconstructing how Izutsumi’s beef with Laios is because she only just broke free and wants freedom without having someone ordering her around, and that’s sort of her whole character arc, isn’t it?
Isn’t Izutsumi’s picky eating a reflection of just that? In a life where she was a slave, she could at least control what she chose to eat and not eat. But then you might wonder, why did the narrative want her to grow out of that? Simply put, Izutsumi has a contrarian streak, one that is often extremely counterproductive. We saw that especially near the beginning, with how hard it was to make her work with them as a team. The issue is that now that she is free, she needs to not block out others by habit, to not lash out and refuse the healthy things in life, the people who want good for her. And that’s something that’s addressed in the succubus chapter as well as the fight against the ice golem, that she shouldn’t insist that she can do everything alone and fight against any team effort.
I love how onesided the Laios izutsumi dynamic is. He stays away from her generally, like doesn’t interact much, but he wants the cat pats… Which Izu made clear she did NOT want. And Chil is the only one in the party to not really see her as a cat for most of the story really, as shown in the relationship chart. He’s well meaning and wants the best for her, but he crowds her and doesn’t understand her at all. But he reallyyy wants to get along with her.
On the other hand, Izutsumi’s very existence and identity gave Laios an immense amount of hope that Falin could be brought back and still be herself and live well, even if she still had part of a dragon’s soul in her. I think that’s a lovely way to contrast the way that Izutsumi hates herself as a beastkin and her body, while Laios is like "Thank you, your existence as you are is the answer to all my worries" AND he super likes monster bodies and beastkins so it’s like. I think part of her hostility to him, besides feeling like he doesn’t understand her perspective and is maybe dismissive of what his party members want (which would remind her of Maizuru to some degree probably), is that he says all these good things about her being a beastkin, and it’s so jarring with her own version of herself that it raises her hackles and she reacts negatively, especially with how flippant and eager he is about it.
But yes like, this is their first meeting!! Beyond his interest in her as a beastkin because of his monster hobby, Laios is just so very grateful for her and chooses to put his trust in her.
That’s interesting too, how one of the first things she asks about upon meeting them is why the hell they would want to rescue Falin even if she were to stay as a chimera-beastkin and still have the dragon soul in her. It’s her asking "Who would want to stick with a beastkin?" thinking that there’s something fundamentally wrong with having two souls and it making you unlovable.
And their differing views on monsters do make them clash
But ultimately he chills out about her, which ironically enough shows in the way that they don’t interact much- He gives her space, and accepts that the beastkin may not like him. BUT at the end of the day they have an incredible bond of trust-
Laios asks Izutsumi to kill him if something goes wrong with the Winged Lion. Not only is that sort of an intimate request and act, but that means that he leaves it up to Izutsumi’s judgement as well to know if it went wrong and when to act. He doesn’t only trust her skills but also her decision making, despite how tough they’ve been on each other in the past. He’s giving her the ultimate role, the go ahead to make or break their plan and be the difference between saving or destroying the world.
And the last tidbit of info we get on their relationship in canon is when she hides behind him because she’s shy- Certified having befriended the cat moment. She trusts him and sees him as a safe person! And by saying that she’s shy, he’s showing that he did end up understanding her and how she is.
No matter the rocky parts of their relationship, they still have a strong foundation to it and were great allies and road companions, one of the few persons that had each other’s back when it mattered the most, both for the world and for their personal arcs. And post-canon, well…
He’s accepted that she needs space and whatnot, and meanwhile she’s accepted his interest in monsters and taken it in stride 😌 They end up having this familiarity with each other and even if there’s still a bunch of emotional distance imo and they never really got into the nitty gritty with each other not like her with Chilchuck or even Marcille, they see each other. They nod in greeting and respect each other from afar……. But also still tease and chat familiarly up close and if she offers him the opportunity for cuddles he will take it. You know, if it’s not her just falling onto him because she’s sleeping she has no respect.
Siblings behavior… If you know my take on the general party dynamics, I love thinking of Laios & Izu’s dynamic as him being an older brother figure where they have a love-hate relationship. Siblings rivalry. I have a bunch of funny little doodles I’ve wanted to make with them for months, the prompts for which are in the screenshot put below.
But yeah like you know, they’re protective of each other but in that very critical way as well, truly forged by being stuck with each other for a while and having to come to understand and accept how the other is. Strife with conflict, but ultimately sticking with each other through thick and thin… Siblings siblings SIBLINGS SIBLINGS SIBLINGS. Sigh I just want them to cuddle on a couch and she purrs while simultaneously being snide and mean to him, they are so… Izutsumi is the character ever
Oh, which! While I’m here, I always recommend this fanfic about the two of them interacting and Laios treating her like a cat, it’s just fun and lighthearted. They’re suuuuch an underrated duo
If I find more Laios & Izu moments I think are worth sharing I’ll just add it onto this I think. We shouldn’t be too hard on him he was raised by dogs so cats are a whole other language to him but also, so wild to me that he never tried to engage with her on a cat level properly like where is the hissing at the catgirl and the cat taming moments, he sucks at socializing with cats smh smh.
I want to do an analysis of queerness in Dungeon Meshi with relationships and social norms and stuff and Izutsumi’s arc is gonna be central to that too. Her relationship with EVERYONE is SOOO GOOD AND IMPORTANT AND COMPELLING. But I guess this is where I leave it off for now, I hope I’m not forgetting any point I wanted to make hmmm
#Dungeon meshi#delicious in dungeon#Spoilers#dungeon meshi manga spoilers#izutsumi#laios touden#laizu brotp#Analysis#relationship analysis#Idk idk. Scene analysis#arc analysis#Fumi rambles#This is my brother and this is my sister! We are siblings and we care for each other!#What’s that? We have a younger sister. You thought we were two but there is another. Come on Izu snap out of that trance it’s time to do#THE SIBLINGS DANCE#Ask#Falin & Izutsumi would be so good too actually#That “you can trust your sibling to kill you if needed” thing where it’s even more relevant bc of Laios and faligon GGDBDKDB#Killing someone for their own good is siblings coded in dunmeshi real?? /j
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Do you have any Lucy and Gray friendship headcanons to share? They're my favorite brotp in the series.
Their friendship is so important to me!
They are very sarcastic, bitchy type best friends. Always sitting around talking shit
Unfortunately for everyone around them, they both have pretty dark senses of humor (in a self deprecating way that makes their fellow guild members stressed)
But also they are really supportive of each other. Like always the first to cheer the other on
For Christmas one year, Gray recreated Lucy's keys in ice and made them into ornaments (Lucy nearly cried. Especially when she saw the Aquarius one (this was before she got the key back))
Lucy taught Gray how to slow dance. He's normally a good dancer but something about slow dancing trips him up
No one is safe from their judgement. Loke trips walking into the guild? Gray and Lucy are whispering and pointing. Natsu can't even breathe without them bullying him
Gray tends to keep an eye on Lucy at parties and stuff because he knows men tend to get grabby with her. He also knows she can take care of herself, but if Gray can freeze the guy to the floor without causing a scene, he's gonna.
Something about Lucy activates Gray's mom tendencies. He's always patching her injuries, making sure she ate, etc
Lucy tries to do it back but Gray would rather die than take care of himself. Lucy assures him that if he keeps it up, she will kill him
Unfortunately threatening to kill Gray usually ends in him getting excited and going "promise?!?". Lucy then threatens to snitch to Natsu and Gray takes it back (this is a very common conversation between the two)
#there might be some repeats in here tbh#ik I did another post like forever ago about them but I cannot remember what I put#i could talk about them forever#actually i have a lot of specific ones with Lucy juvia and gray that i should post too#anon <3#fairy tail#fairy tail headcanons#gray fullbuster#lucy heartfilia#graylu brotp#natsu dragneel#team natsu#loke ft
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I LOVE THE TF2 MLP AU SM. it gives me sm nostalgia to when i was a kid and i and everyone in the fandom made pony aus of franchises we liked- im so happy cringe is dead and tradition is alive 🥹
ALSO THE INFECTION AU POST. GOOD SHIT;!;!!!!!!!!!! gore and body horror are inseparable from (hopefully only the mature part of) the mlp fandom and i felt so giddy jumping for joy kicking my feet up seeing that it had a resurgence!! Your post of this au with your tf2 ponies was my introduction to it!!! Nature is healinggggg
That post is BOMB. WE GOT: 1) HEAVYMEDIC ANGST. 2) PYRO & ENGIE ANGST. 3) BOOTS & BOMBS ANGST. 4) DADSPY ANGST. 5) SNIPER ANGST. ITS GIVING💅🏽💅🏽💅🏽 and the way the disease spreads differently for all of them is so creative!!!!!! Engie wants to sever the infected body part but cant cus its on his back and he needs medics help for that (and med is way too far gone to do any operation), and scout doesn't want his wings severed even tho that would save him cus he still wants to fly!!!!!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
also soldier misinterpreting the request is so good. And pyro wanting to help but not being allowed to cus they'd try to burn engie. Demo drinking himself to death cus he cant handle seeing his friend in the state that he's in. Sniper disappearing cus he wants to be with his parents during this horrible time even tho they have a strained relationship. Spy wanting his son to live through this so much that he's planning to sever his wings himself. And heavyyyyyy. Heavy breaking his heart everyday still taking care of medic knowing he's going to have to kill the love of his life soon. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
Anyways sorry for fuckin. Screaming in your asks and basically just repeating what you wrote sgjdjd. I just really love this au (and especially that comic with scout, medic and engie!!!) and the infection au post made me so nostalgic to the early days of the mlp fandom that the adhd went mental and i had to shout about it lol- feel free to not respond to this! Youre awesome! Keep doing you!!!!!!
(also youre really good at drawing gore????? Hello teach me pls)
WHAT A BIG FEEDBACK OHMYGODヽ((◎д◎))ゝ
Anyway I'm really super puper glad you liked my au!! I was a little hesitant to post it, since AU in AU sounds weird but I'm glad I thought otherwise - cringe culture should be dead!! Mix your hyperfixations it's good for your health!!!
AND AHHHHGGGGGH You noticed so many details thankyouuu🥺💗💗💗The best thing about this AU is that every ship and brotp can work so well in this story. Engie first helping Medic but then ending up being also infected??? Spy checking up on Engie and making him eat since he's too stressed to take a break??? Demo, Heavy and Pyro comforting each other after loosing their friends??? Spy and Scout both raging on Sniper for leaving like a coward??? Or maybe Heavy, as an earth pony, comforts Scout after he just got his wings amputated??? So many possibilities!!
Don't worry, I love when people are noticing all the details and just get,, really invested into my stuff, it really brings me joy and you made my day so much better!!🥺🥺I feel honestly a little insecure, since my pony designs and thoughts may not be the best, but I'm glad that so many people still like my mlp×tf2 stuff!! It's really endearing to know that finally something I like making is also likable to you!
About gore -- I have no idea😭I love gore but it's a pain to draw properly and scary, you'd need practice and references (I mostly use art references since yknow,,,real photos can make me sick)
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Sir Pentious perhaps?
Certainly, my dear!
Send me a character and I’ll list:
Favourite thing about them: His dorkiness! I like how he starts out trying to be intimidating so he'll be thought of as a formidable foe, and then learns to embrace his naturally dorky self and be a better person. Maybe there's a message there about toxic masculinity? Or maybe I'm reading too much into it.
Least favourite thing about them: That so-called 'joke' in Episode 6. You know the one. I mean, you can't have a whole episode taking sexual assault seriously when it happens to Angel Dust and then turn it into a joke when it happens to Sir Pentious. I'd have preferred it if, instead of Pen being dragged into the sex room, Valentino overheard his "sex with everybody" line and started offering him a job at the porn studio and making him flustered, and that was what motivated Angel to stand up for his friends.
Favourite line: "The only cool thing here is to say 'No' to drugs! Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm off to not have sexual intercourse before marriage!"
brOTP: I like the enemies-to-friends thing he had going on with Angel Dust! My favourite moment is in Episode 5, when Pen is trying to shield his cookies for Lucifer from Angel's grabby hands, and then he has to stand up straight to salute Lucifer with a quick, "Your majesty!" before he goes back to shielding the cookies, but it's too late because Angel's taken one, but Angel doesn't make a big deal of it, he just says, "Heya, short king," to Lucifer as if there's nothing out of the ordinary going on. They're like brothers! Pen is the responsible one and Angel is the naughty one, but at the end of the day, they've got each other's back. It's fun to watch!
Also, now that Sir Pentious is in Heaven, I love the thought of Emily becoming his new best friend! She could show him how Heaven works, and he could teach her what he knows about Hell, and together they could try to find a way to let Charlie know that redemption actually works.
Plus, there's the angst potential of Sir Pentious interacting with Molly - he knows who Angel Dust is, and she knows who Anthony is, but they don't know they're talking about the same person... I'd love to see a Pen/Emily/Molly trio going on escapades in Season 2!
OTP: CherriSnake! I wasn't sure about the ship at first, but it's grown on me. It's a neat example of the enemies-to-lovers trope, where Sir Pentious' admiration for Cherri as a worthy opponent turns into something more romantic. And they could have bonded over being inventors - Pen with his gadgets and Cherri with her "brilliant explosive contraptions". Too bad he only confessed his love a few seconds before his heroic sacrifice...
I think I like this ship for its potential. What will Cherri do now that Pen is gone? Will she find out he's in Heaven? Will that motivate her to stay at the Hazbin Hotel, to get redeemed herself and be reunited with him? It's rife with story possibilities!
nOTP: Sir Pentious and Vox (StaticSnake?). Mainly because Vox told Pen to kill himself in Episode 2. That was unacceptable.
Random headcanon: Sir Pentious has a son! Remember that moment in the pilot when Angel said, "Harder, Daddy!" and Pen replied, "Son?!" I think Pen did actually father a child when he was alive, and he'd been scouring Hell trying to find him again. (And for a moment there, he thought Angel was declaring that he was his son.) Pen never found his son in Hell, but now he's in Heaven, maybe he'll have better luck...
Unpopular opinion: I actually quite like Sir Pentious' singing voice! It's nowhere near as bad as people make it out to be. And I much prefer it when characters' singing voices match their speaking voices, instead of being wildly different. (Looking at you, Vaggie.)
Song I associate with them: @hazbinned made a video of Pen being kept awake at night by Angel blasting out "Made You Look" by Meghan Trainor, so now I associate that song with Sir Pentious! LOL!
Favourite picture of them:
#hazbin hotel#sir pentious#egg bois#angel dust#cherri bomb#cherrisnake#emily hazbin hotel#hazbin hotel emily#molly hazbin hotel#hazbin hotel molly#lucifer morningstar#charlie morningstar#vaggie#valentino hazbin hotel#hazbin hotel valentino#vox hazbin hotel#hazbin hotel vox#hazbin hotel pilot
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kenjaku :-) or tengen/uraume if they've been done
Thank you for the ask! I'm just gonna do all three :D
Kenjaku
Sexuality Headcanon:
I think Kenjaku generally doesn't care about a person's gender in regards to attraction. It's far more important that the people are interesting, able to hold their attention for a long time and if they are actually looking for a relationship of whatever kind, they must feel like they are equal to each other. Also, I think as far as purely physical or aesthetic attraction goes or when it's about casual sex they prefer men.
Gender Headcanon:
Kenjaku got all the genders and goes by any pronouns or none at all. They might have some preferences for what sex their body has, but that changes over time and sometimes it aligns with their current vessel and sometimes it doesn't. Generally, in canon the characters who actually know Kenjaku don't refer to them in gendered terms, but I don't think they'd have a problem with being referred to with she/her while in Geto or Noritoshi's body or with he/him when in Kaori's. I also think this was always the case with them, it didn't just come through their CT or with age. Their CT just helped realize the fluidity of their gender more.
A ship I have with said character:
I have a whole bunch of them, but at the moment my fave is definitely TenKen. Got a great toxic mix of longing, obsession, lost friendship and vore. And it is especially interesting to get into because Tengen is so important for Kenjaku's character overall. She is their primary motivation for this whole insane plan they got, getting close to her is what drove them forward for centuries and she is likely the cause or one of the factors that drove Kenjaku to get more and more lost in their need for entertainment because they lost the connection to her.
A BROTP I have with said character:
Uraume. I just love their dynamic so much, both as a BROTP and as a sort of hatesex ship. I really miss their bickering and casual insults. Kenjaku is so gleeful about driving Uraume up the wall it's great. But also how they reluctantly help each other out and do such wild shit like going on an international tour to rile up an invasion of Japan. Or Kenjaku having to hold Uraume back like a rabid dog from killing everyone in sight because it would be Not A Good Look. True trans solidarity.
A NOTP I have with said character:
Hmm, I think it's GoKen (sorry, I know you love them). I'm just not interested in Gojo in a shipping sense, I don't really see anything interesting in their dynamic beyond the meeting in Shibuya and even that has gotten a bit old for me because everyone is talking about it constantly. I also don't like how it is often/most of the time so focused on stsg because in canon that's the only reason Gojo has any interest in Kenjaku. Without Geto he wouldn't give a shit. So from what I've seen of it, most of it is just repackaged stsg angst (especially in fanfic) and I don't care for that.
A random headcanon:
Tengen used to be something of a teacher for them, maybe they were somehow involved with the cult that formed around her, and then they slowly became more of a friend or partner for her. They developed the concept for jujutsu society together, but disagreed on the details and how far it should be taken, how curses should be handled etc.
General Opinion over said character:
*gestures at my blog and AO3 account* idk I guess I like them
Uraume
Sexuality Headcanon:
They give me a bit of an ace vibe. I think they generally don't engage much with sex or have much interest in it, but on the odd chance that they do, they prefer men (probably also who they are most aesthetically attracted to).
Gender Headcanon:
No. If we use a label, agender would come the closest, but they just don't have any gender and live completely outside of it. They don't really care if people make assumptions about them because they see these people below them anyway, so what do their opinions matter. They wouldn't really get mad about it unless they are being pestered about it or they feel like the person is stepping out of line. But if that happens, they can just kill them. Easy. Same as with Kenjaku, I think they always felt this way about their gender, it's not that they stopped caring about it with age.
A ship I have with said character:
Mainly SukUme because Sukuna is really the only person Uraume has much interest in and I like how chill Sukuna is around them. Love the scene of them laughing at Yuuji together and joking around. You can tell they have been close for a long time. I also like that Uraume shows Sukuna respect, but isn't his doormat and gets away with far more than anyone else. Unfortunately we haven't seen it yet, but Uraume cooking human meat for Sukuna Hannibal-style is also the main thing that pulls me towards them. Cannibal couple.
A BROTP I have with said character:
Kenjaku, like above. Although, their dynamic with Hakari is also becoming really interesting and I wish we saw more of them. They actually seem to vibe very well and respect or even like each other, which is quite rare with Uraume. So far they seem the most normal around him. Probably because they might see something of young!Sukuna in him and he isn't as annoying as Kenjaku.
A NOTP I have with said character:
idk...there aren't that many ships with them. I can't think of any I've seen that I didn't like. Have to say though, that I don't like when people treat Uraume in SukUme as a self-insert and you can clearly tell that the person who wrote/drew it just wants to get railed by Sukuna and doesn't actually care about Uraume.
A random headcanon:
They were eating and cooking human flesh even before Sukuna came around. They saw Sukuna tear the raw flesh from people's bodies and eat it and were like "this is so uncultured, I gotta help this guy. where's my cauldron"
General Opinion over said character:
Love them! One of my top 10 favourite jjk characters. Gege please show me more of them, especially their current fight. I also really want to know more about their philosophy, view of humanity and how it differs from Sukuna's, how they first came to meet Sukuna and who they were before that.
Tengen
Sexuality Headcanon:
Pretty firmly aroace. I don't think they ever had much interest in romance, long-term relationships or sex. She might have experimented a bit when they were younger or maybe she used to be married because of societal conventions, but as she got older she just stopped engaging with it altogether and her philosophy and buddhist beliefs only emphasized what was already there.
Gender Headcanon:
Pretty much what she already told us. She feels more drawn to the identity of woman, but it was never that rigid for her and as she got older and especially when her body started to change, she cared less and less about it. However, she still cares about gender in the sense that she doesn't see herself as a man and prefers to not be addressed as such, especially in a private setting. Like, she doesn't care what the higher-ups think, them thinking she's a man is even beneficial to her, but if someone she knows well or cares about addresses her that way directly, she will correct them. She likes masculine clothing though and playing around with assumptions and societal conventions for gender presentation in general. If I were to summarize her gender in one brief label it would be something like: woman* (star even fits with her theme)
A ship I have with said character:
TenKen (obviously). Most of the action in that ship naturally comes from Kenjaku, but I find it fascinating how despite all the shit Kenjaku has done over the centuries, she still gives them the cover of anonymity and even protects them to a degree. Heavily side-eyeing Kenjaku surviving a fight against the Heian six eyes user twice. The fight wasn't even close from what we know and yet Kenjaku somehow managed to slip away and recuperate. I also find it fascinating how in the end, she almost gives in to Kenjaku's demands or lets herself be swept away by them. She doesn't try to merge anymore and she puts up the bare minimum of a fight. Like, she knows Kenjaku is a threat, but she still cares about them in some way and sees them as just an attention seeking child (true). Also kind of funny how she says she has no idea what motivates Kenjaku because she can't see into the human heart and yet when we've seen that Kenjaku isn't at all shy to talk about why they are doing all this. Especially with her around they are basically screaming their motivation and she's there like "hmm, big mystery why they are doing this. feelings are so hard to understand." no wonder Kenjaku went insane lol She's always trying to keep that emotional distance somehow, even when her actions speak against it. It also makes it very tragic from Kenjaku's perspective. They swallowed her and still can't reach her (anymore). Also, they see their relationship as equal, while Tengen still places herself above them in terms of skill and maturity. Argh, I need their backstory.
A BROTP I have with said character:
There aren't really that many people she has a closer connection with and a friendly one at that...guess Sukuna? Her turning his corpse into a mummy is really interesting and also their similarity when she started evolving. The mummy stuff is very similar to the urban legend of Ryomen Sukuna, so I wonder what exactly her and Kenjaku did with Sukuna before and after his death and if they might've been involved with him becoming more powerful. I also like her and Yuki together. They aren't exactly friendly, not from Yuki's side at least, but the "forced to hang out with my bigoted grandma" aspect of their relationship is funny.
A NOTP I have with said character:
Her and Sukuna. I just don't see anything there except shared fascination for jujutsu and what I said above about their past. Definitely nothing that comes even close to romantic or sexual feelings on either side.
A random headcanon:
She's not from Japan or she had a long period where she toured around ancient China, India, Korea and the like. She only really started drawing attention when she was at least 200 years old, so there is a lot of time we don't really know anything about.
General Opinion over said character:
Manipulative, conservative Grandma who ruined everyone's lives with the system she created and couldn't be bothered to change things for the better. And I love her for that. Top 3 jjk character for me <3
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Soup! Rn I would looooove to see Luke and sick Vince with Luke being the comforting force this time? Just wanna see those two beans talk and recheck how much they care about each other @writing-whump
Some sickific with heavy brotp, the chef's special.
-------------------
Wendy groaned, pressing her forehead to the cool surface of the chilled water bottle she was holding. She had the start of a headache, from stress, from the lack of rest, from heartbreak...
Vince had just plateau, after almost two whole days shaking with a high fever and throwing up everything he had ever eaten, he was finally sleeping and seemingly able to keep water down. Just when she had considered dragging his ass to the hospital.
Jonah had left early morning and now it was well into the evening, almost night, and Wendy knew she should be getting something to eat for them both... She was just so tired.
Her cellphone startled her and Wendy nearly dropped the water bottle, squealing as she caught it just before the hard plastic could hit her toe and then grabbing her phone before it could wake up Vince sleeping a room away.
Bella's pictured appeared on the screen, her sleeping with her head tilted back and a cowboy hat sitting upon wild curls and blocking most of her face.
Wendy rolled her eyes at the picture the ginger had assigned herself and picked up the call, "hello?"
"Hi Wen," Bella's voice was a touch too soft, but that was expected. Wendy had talked with Luke the day before and learned the ginger had also caught the flu, "how are you?"
"I think I should be asking you that," Wendy chuckled nervously, leaning against the sink of her kitchen and rubbing a hand over her face, "Luke mentioned you got sick as well."
"It'd take a lot more than the flu to knock me out," Bella scoffed, "I'm fine, I'm bored out of my mind and wondering if you wanna come over?"
Now!?
Wendy frowned, "I- what? Come again?" the question was so out of the blue and weird, given the circumstances, that Wendy wasn't sure what to make of it. Girls night while Bella had the rest of a stomach flu and Vince was down for the count in Wendy's bedroom?!
"Yeah, I'm- Luke, I'm telling her, would you wait-"
"Give me the phone-" Luke's voice travelled through the line and Wendy muffled a giggle as she heard them wrestling for the phone. Then it was Luke talking with her, instead of the ginger.
"Can I go over?" straight to the point. Wendy raised her eyebrows and nodded, before she remembered he couldn't see her.
"Yeah, Luke, of course-"
"Let's switch? You can handle my darling wife - stop pinching me, Isabella! - who's bored out of her mind and I can watch Vince?" Lucas' voice was breathless and Wendy's heart squeezed. She felt a weird sense of camaraderie with him, which was entirely misplaced, given Luke knew Vince would be leaving for weeks before Wendy did.
Water under the bridge, she knew it, since Vince was leaving and she was still dating him... But the resentment was still there. Resentment that she couldn't find in her when Lucas' was clearly out of his mind with worry over Vince.
It would be good, to have Luke come over and clear the air with Vince. Make things normal again, so Vince could stop looking like a kicked puppy all hours of the day... Besides, she could use the rest and Bella was already ahead of recovery than Vin was-
"Wendy?"
"Yeah, of course. Can I spend the night?"
"You're gonna end up catching this bug, Wen," Lucas said, sounding relieved, "yeah, we can trade places in the morning, how does that sound?"
"Honestly sounds heavenly..."
"See you in a bit then- Oh my god, Bella, give me the fucking remote and stop messing with my watchlist-"
Wendy chuckled as he hung up and she made her way back to the bedroom to pack an overnight bag. Vince was curled on his side, the empty bucket sitting on the ground next to his head, his black curls sticking out everywhere.
She put everything away inside a backpack, the dropped it by the door and climbed on the bed, combing her fingers through her boyfriend's hair.
He was still overly warm to the touch, a fever that just wouldn't break, and even in his sleep his brows were nearly meeting in a frown. Probably cramps, she thought sympathetically, feeling Vince's tummy growl since she was sitting on his side.
"Vin," she whispered, debating waking him up or not, "Honey...?"
She always forgot he was a light sleeper, because just with that small whisper Vince stirred on the bed and his eyes fluttered open. Drowsy and lost, he struggled to focus on her.
"Hey," Wendy rubbed his arm, "how are you feeling?"
"Gross," Vince groaned, curling up further, "what time is it?"
"Around seven," she stroked his cheek, "Luke and I are exchanging places, okay?"
Vince's dark eyes widened and he suddenly was a lot more alert, "Luke's coming here?"
"He's worried," Wendy shrugged, deciding not to tell Vince just how exhausted she was as well. This could be all pinned on Luke for all she cared, "and he misses you, honey."
"Well, he's the one not talking with me," Vince scoffed, before grimacing as his belly let out a growl. She pressed closer to it, kicking herself mentally for enjoying the sensation and sound when it clearly was making him feel like hell.
"So you'll be an adult and talk with him," she squeezed his bicep, "do you remember anything from the last days?"
"Nearly crushing you to death twice," Vince groaned, closing his eyes, "and barfing everything I ever ate."
She rolled her eyes, "worst is past now," Wendy promised, even if she wasn't so sure. His fever refused to break and he seemed to not be as nauseous, but the way his tummy was churning wasn't promising, "I want you to try some water again."
"It's just gonna come back up," Vince's face scrunched up and Wendy sighed, ignoring the complaint as she reached for the water bottle.
"Just a sip, Vin."
He was pouting as he obeyed, taking a small, tiny gulp, then a larger one when his stomach didn't immediately reject the previous one. He fell back against the pillow, wrapping a hand around her wrist and bringing it to his mouth, pressing a kiss to her pulse point.
"I'm sorry I'm being such a hassle, and right when I'm leaving as well--"
Wendy rolled her eyes, scratching at his scruff, "I don't mind taking care of you, I just wish we didn't spend our last days together with you feeling so wretched."
"I know," Vince pouted, "but I'll see you in five days and-"
There was a knock on the door and Wendy sighed, "hold that thought. I'm going to go, you'll be alright, okay? Text me if you want me to come back, I'll kick Luke out in a heartbeat."
Vince chuckled at that, "I can handle Lucas, he's an idiot, but I sadly love the guy."
She hated how sweet Vince was, it woke up a viciously protective part of her that Wendy didn't know what to do with. She leaned in, pressing a kiss to his brow, "I love you. Don't let Luke be a prick to you."
"I love you as well, have some fun with Bell. Catch some sleep, you look like you need it, honey."
"Uhm, I do," Wendy yawned, kissing his cheek and getting up.
Lucas was waiting in the hallway outside her apartment, with a backpack thrown over his shoulder and grocery bags in his hands. Unlike Wendy, who felt dead on her feet, he looked like he had chugged an energy drink.
"Hi," Lucas said, bouncing on his feet, "thanks for letting me come over-"
"If you make him cry I'm gonna have your liver," Wendy warned him and Lucas couldn't help but open a wide smile at that.
"I know," he nodded, "I swear I'm not here to fight... How is he?"
"Sleepy," Wendy yawned, rubbing her eyes, "watch out for the fever, it still hasn't broken and I'm a little worried about it."
"Yes, ma'am," Luke hit two fingers to his forehead in a salute, "get some rest, Wen."
"Yeah," she yawned again, "thanks for proposing this, I could catch a break... Have fun."
"Sooo much fun," Luke teased her and they crossed the hallway, Wendy leaving and him entering.
The house was fully silent, so Lucas dumped his backpack on the couch and then headed to the kitchen, putting away the multiple bottles of gatorade, the canned soup and all the medicine he had brought, just out of precaution.
There was a noise and he turned around just in time to see Vince slumping against the kitchen's threshold, with a blanket wrapped around his shoulder's like a king's fluffy cape.
"Hi," he said roughly, his voice all raspy, "nice of you to show up in time for my funeral."
Luke rolled his eyes, feeling something horrible settle in his stomach. Guilt, "dying of the flu is just sad."
"Uhm," Vince leaned against the wooden frame that separated Wendy's cramped kitchen from her dining room, pressing his forehead to the surface, "are we gonna talk about it or...?"
"Sure," Luke wrung his hands, quickly regretting even coming over. He wasn't sure how to put into words that he wasn't angry, he was just... Just sad, "I'm sorry. I've been a dick, ignoring you since graduation- Uhm, that wasn't cool."
Vince raised his eyebrows, letting out a bitter huff, his forehead still pressed to the wooden frame, "not cool indeed," he groaned, "why are- Why were you acting like that?"
"Because I don't want you to leave!" Luke blurted out, unable to keep the words in, "because I think you're- You're making a stupid decision and I don't want you to leave and- and I'm afraid you're gonna go and we won't be friends anymore and-"
"Jesus, Lucas," Vince interrupted with a groan, pinching his nose bridge and glaring at his best friend, "I could move to fucking Italy and we wouldn't stop being friends, you're the one who's being stupid. It's four hours, I don't know why you people keep acting as if I'm moving to a different country."
"It fucking sucks to be left behind, sorry," Luke exclaimed, bitterness he wasn't even aware he possessed coating his words, "everyone's got their shit together and big plans and I don't know what I'm doing and- And I thought you'd be here with me, but you won't be and I'm not sure of what to do with myself."
"Luke..." Vince sighed, rubbing his face, "man, you're making a much bigger deal out of this than it is. I'm not going to war, I'm going to teach 4 hours away from here. I'm coming back on the weekends. It's not the end of the world..."
A heavy silence settled over them and Vince turned around, so he could rest the back of his head against the kitchen threshold, instead of his forehead. He was really pale and gulping down...
"Do you want me to go?" Luke asked quietly.
Vince frowned, looking at him, "no, of course not."
More silence.
"I'm really sorry I haven't been there for you," Luke said, his voice even smaller and Vince's knees gave up on holding him up, so he crumpled down and fell on his ass, trying to make it look like he was purposefully lowering himself down.
If Luke noticed the farse, he didn't say much, only watched him intently, looking extremely out of place in Wendy's pink kitchen.
"I forgive you," Vince shrugged, leaning forward and resting his forehead to his knees, breathing through his mouth, "...Do you forgive me?"
"Nothing to forgive," without looking up Vince could hear the relief in his best friend's voice.
"Uhm- I don't feel good, Luke..." he finally voiced it. Part of him meant the past couple of weeks, though mostly he meant the current state of his body and its lack of cooperation.
The water Wendy had forced him to drink was churning in his belly and his head felt heavy.
"Wendy mentioned your fever didn't break," Lucas' voice suddenly was much closer, the other man crouching next to him and planting his cool hand to Vince's forehead. He instinctively leaned on the touch, letting out a breath.
"I think I'm gonna be sick," Vince groaned, gulping down nervously when his mouth filled with salty saliva, "...I'm so tired of feeling shitty."
"Yeah, tell me about it," Luke whispered, grabbing his arm, "c'mon, back to bed."
Vince swayed as Luke pulled him up, fully leaning against his best friend and turning his face, burying his nose on Lucas' hoodie. He felt like crap... And better than he had been feeling in a long time.
"You're gonna get sick too," he warned and heard a small scoff, Luke's hand in the middle of his back rubbing in circles as they stumbled through the apartment.
"Definitely," Lucas agreed, but instead of pulling them apart, he pulled Vince closer.
#sickfic#stomach flu#vince monacelli#lucas atwood#mywriting#emotional whump#fever#nausea#i hope this is up to ur expectations Sol!! thank u so much for the request#brotp#brotp for the win
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Through the Garden Gate [AO3]
Lestat/Daniel - Explicit - 4,459
Not long after Tale of the Body Thief, Lestat and Daniel talk about Lestat's body swap and how Daniel worries his relationship with Armand is falling apart.
I wrote this in kind of a flash of inspiration but I figured I might as well post it now, since I'll be posting a lot of stuff in February for fandom events and don't know when I'll get around to it otherwise.
I really just love Lestat and Daniel having deep conversations and I think Daniel tends to ask the best questions. They are my BROTP with benefits and I know some of y'all love them as much as I do, so I hope you like this!
Brief excerpt:
“Is it true that you swapped bodies with a mortal?” Daniel had been burning to ask about it since Lestat first jumped him in Pirate Alley, and the question tumbled out almost immediately after they sat at the small bar table.
A storm of emotion passed over Lestat’s face. “I did.”
Daniel leaned closer, across the small bar table between them. “What was it like?”
“What do you think? Incredible. Messy. Uncomfortable. Amazing.” Lestat shook his head. “Impossibly strange. But it had been hundreds of years since I’d known mortal urges, mortal discomfort.”
“Sucks, doesn’t it?” Daniel laughed slightly. Mortal discomfort—aches and pains and hangovers and head colds—had been the bane of his existence during his last mortal years. He’d been in his early thirties and yet already his body had changed so much. Sleeping at the wrong angle could ruin him for days.
“Not entirely. There were good things.” Lestat smiled, but it didn’t reach his blue gray eyes, which were trained on his martini glass full of blue curaçao and vodka. “The taste of wine. The sun.”
Daniel reached across the table and touched Lestat’s hand, which was a rich, tan color, like the rest of his skin. “And how did this happen?”
Lestat sighed. “I had a moment of weakness and went into the Gobi desert. It’s not important now.”
Daniel snorted. “Yeah, clearly. Are you okay?”
Lestat waved a hand and then his magnificent, winning smile returned. “How did you hear about my last misadventure anyway? I’m still working on the book.”
Daniel sat back against the booth and tapped his fingers on the table, keenly aware of the pack of cigarettes in his pocket. “Louis wrote a very concerned letter about the whole affair.”
Lestat frowned. “To you?”
Daniel flushed. “To Armand. Sent to Night Island. I stopped by to check on the house and I opened the mail.” He hadn’t thought much of it at the time—he and Armand often treated each other’s things as if they were their own, which was perhaps a bad habit, but it had always worked for them. Once he’d read it, he’d felt a bit like he’d overstepped, and he’d tucked the letter away to give to Armand next time he saw him.
“And where is that impish maker of yours, hm?” Lestat asked. “Where are you two living these days?”
“Barcelona, for now,” Daniel said. “Assuming he’s still there when I get back.”
Lestat smirked. “Trouble in paradise?”
“You could say that.” Daniel thought of Armand’s hardened expression, his cold kiss against Daniel’s cheek as he’d left. The icy atmosphere of the flat they shared. Daniel fiddled with the plastic sword that held an olive and onion in his cocktail, stirring it around the drink. “He’s gotten so damn volatile. The smallest thing sets off these terrible fights. Or worse, he gets quiet and sullen and avoids me. To be honest, I prefer the fighting.”
Armand had barely said a word when he’d left. Daniel had been pushed past all reason and needed a break, so he’d offered to go check on The Night Island, an errand they did from time to time as they traveled around in hopes that some new location might fix all their problems.
In truth, he’d hoped Armand would come with him. Maybe being home again for a few days would rekindle something, give them some perspective. But Armand had simply wished him bon voyage, without so much as a suggestion he didn’t want him to go, and now Daniel was procrastinating going back.
“He and Louis could teach a masterclass in administering the silent treatment,” Lestat said morosely. He stabbed the cherry in his drink with his own plastic sword, a little green one, and then let it drop, blue liquid splashing out of the glass.
Read the Rest on AO3
#lestat de lioncourt#daniel molloy#lestat/daniel#armand/daniel#armand#tale of the body thief#post-totbt#vc fanfic#vc fic#tvc#vc#vampire chronicles#the vampire chronicles#my favorite brotp with benes#it's been a minute since i wrote anything i liked with them and then this just kind of poured out#idk it happens like that sometimes
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Ban and Elizabeth BROTP Headcanons
Be the change you want to see in the world, so here are my headcanons for these two because I wish they interacted more.
Ban loves teaching Elizabeth new recipes whenever she wants to make something for Meliodas. Whenever she's in a bad mood or needs to blow off steam, Ban will let her vent-bake. Or, he'll let her knead the everloving hell out of whatever dough he has available.
Given Elizabeth grew up hella rich and Ban grew up hella poor, what they consider expensive vastly varies. This also led to Ban having to stay with Elizabeth during shopping trips so she doesn't overspend.
Ban knows how to sew from having to maintain his clothes and before the Sins kicked Hendy's ass, he taught Elizabeth how to sew since with her being royalty, it's a skill she likely didn't learn.
Ban has nearly beaten up several customers for trying to get handsy with Elizabeth. Meli is more subtle in his threats, but Ban will straight up say 'You try groping her, I will steal your hands and beat you with them'. Ban does not play around.
He has tried so many times to get Elizabeth to swear. Elizabeth deserves to say 'Fuck'. I may write a fic that's just Elizabeth getting to say 'Fuck'. And it's because of Ban. He's simultaneously a good and bad influence.
Ban is a master haggler and is basically Elizabeth's scary dog privilege against scams.
Elizabeth told Ban about the various different treasures that the Liones royal family has and they have this thing of Ban stealing a treasure and Elizabeth stealing it back. It's basically like that gay pirate plate post but with a piece of treasure. And neither party can use magic to steal it back. The tradition probably gets passed down to Tristan and Lancelot.
At Meliodas and Elizabeth's wedding, the bouquet hit Ban square in the face. Ban nearly choked on flower petals that day.
#sds ban#sds elizabeth#nnt ban#nnt elizabeth#seven deadly sins#nanatsu no taizai#undead ban#ban the undead
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I can't resist writing my fav brotp any chance I get ...
(a feyre & lucien snippet from the eluzriel fic i'm writing for @polyacotarweek!)
~*~
“Alright, you didn’t summon me to put your son in his place and likely not for my wound dressing either.” Lucien glances up to her face beneath the curtain of his hair that has fallen over his shoulder while he bends to finish tying the wrap. “What can I do for you, Feyre?”
“I thought seeing me half naked would be a fun memory to reminisce over?”
He presses a little harder than necessary on the wound. Feyre hisses.
“Okay, alright, not enough time has passed to joke about that. In truth, I have a favor to ask of you.”
Lucien whistles low while stepping back to appreciate his handy work. The bleed has stopped seeping through the white cloth.
“A favor? This should be interesting.”
Feyre lifts her top from the desk she’s had it resting on. She pulls it over her shoulders and begins buttoning it, pointedly not making eye contact with Lucien. A very interesting favor then, if it is enough to make the High Lady feel guilt.
“I need you to go to Rask and retrieve a special package… Your mate.”
#giggling and kicking my feet#i cannot WAIT to start posting this fic you guys#so many shenanigans#so much smut#the word count has already gotten out of hand and i feel almost no remorse#acotar#acotar fanfic#my writing
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ooh how about Yosano for the ask game?
Yay Yosano!!! I love her so much <33
Favorite thing about them:
Her backstory,,, It's just a masterpiece, for me it's really the peak of bsd's writing. ���We don't want your skill. We want that kindness of yours” and “You don't need a skill at all. There's real value in your sadness.” ueueueueueueue. In two chapters it made of a relatively flat character a complex and human one, and we love to see that.
Least favorite thing about them:
Nothing, she's great??? I can't think of anything.
Favorite line:
There's no line that hits me in particular I can think of, but I really like the emotion / delivery of some of them. This one I like tons:
brOTP:
Aaaaahhh I love her I want to see her interact with everyone. Older-sister kind of characters are ALWAYS my favourite. I love her dynamics with Ranpo and I like to think they have this sort of sibling complicity of two people who have known each other for a very long time and love each other deeply. I like her relationship with Fukuzawa, I like how explicitly protective he is of her, I'm glad she has someone she can trust who looks after her and makes her feel loved. (Actually, the Yosano / Fukuzawa relationship makes me emotional. Because Yosano was so deeply traumatized and broken and basically dead when he took her under his wing, and she looks so healthy and confident and serene in the canon timeline, it's basically a miracle; and the only way this could have happened is by having someone who deeply loved and cared for her, someone who kindly guided her through every step of rehabilitation. It moves me a little). I really enjoyed her interactions with Atsushi!! And I like to think Yosano and Kyouka would hang out, I feel like Yosano would be happy to sort of return the favour and help back a little girl who was able to slip out of the darkness just in time; I can see them have this kind of inter generational relationship where they go shopping together and chat about girl things.
OTP:
I really like kousano!!! I feel like Yosano deserves her spicy pm love affair too ahah. I think it's got lots of potential for both fluff and angst, and I believe it's a cool relationship to explore for both characters!! I wish they'd meet in canon.
When I first watched the anime I was low-key into ranposano, and though I don't feel very strongly about them anymore, I think it's a nice ship nonetheless!
nOTP:
Nothing. Really I don't dislike ships pffttt.
Random headcanon:
Something I don't think I ever brought up but that I firmly believe in is that whereas all the other ada members live at the ada dorms, Yosano, Ranpo and Fukuzawa have their own house where they live together. Fukuzawa took Ranpo to his home when he adopted him, and then Yosano joined them when they took her in because I mean, there was no way that they could leave her alone, right? So they've always lived together, and they are happy together, they never felt the need to change that. That's the real ada found family for me if there ever was one. Really like deconstructing the idea of nuclear family or of the fact that children can't live with their parents as adults while still being independent. Also it just makes sense? And it's heartwarming to think that Fukuzawa, the lone wolf with no friends of relations, now lives in a happy and lively household.
Unpopular opinion:
Yosano existing isn't enough to beat the bsd being sexist allegations, I'm so sorry everyone I wish that was the case.
Song i associate with them:
Kilmer by Niru Kajitsu, I just wish I didn't (个_个) There's even a beautiful fanart of Yosano in the style of the Kilmer pv here. Also Fräulein=Biblioteca by nyanyannya, just based on vibes alone (the purple butterflies!!), to mention something a little less depressing lol.
Favorite picture of them:
Favourite panel from the manga:
(Took me like. One hour to pick just one. She's always stunning in Harukawa's art style.)
Favourite illustration:
Favourite illustration in the anime art style:
Favourite Mayoi card:
Send me a character?
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ky kiske !
favorite thing about them
Genuinely it probably has to be his design. Love absolutely everything about this to death.
least favorite thing about them
favorite line
I'm gonna just treat this as favourite scene because I'm really bad at remembering specific lines for the most part.
youtube
Ky has a lot of really good scenes but i'm super duper partial to this one. One of my favourite scenes for both him and Sol
brOTP
Hmm idk. I want to see more of him and Leo though.
OTP
Him and Dizzy are just really sweet I like them alot
random headcanon
I think his teacup hobby is at least partially Kliff's influence, I think they used to have tea together back in the sacred order.
unpopular opinion
I prefer the shorter hair
song i associate with them
Don't really have one. Let's all listen to pillars of the underworld
youtube
favorite picture of them
I love this one he's so pleasant
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