#blaming me
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I get people like to blame me for everything.
I made my ex friend even more mute because I cut her off.
I made my mother get schizophrenia because I reported my family to the police.
I made my sisters husband leave because I didn't want to be the baby sitter anymore.
I made my grandma nearly die because my family won't look after her and I left my family.
I made my grandma sick because I reported my family to the police.
I got my uncle in debt because he couldn't beat me up anymore.
I made my cousin get raped because I didn't know where she was.
I got my sister to quit university because I wasn't smart enough.
I got blamed for my mother sending death threats and blackmail because I'm my mother's daughter.
I made the band quit because I didn't show up to their gigs anymore.
I made a family friend not have children because I couldn't be there for her, to listen to her problems.
I got blamed for not cleaning the house because I left 8 years ago.
I got blamed for not paying my mother's bills because I left, 8 years ago.
I got blamed, my mother failed at university because I got bullied at school and she's the one that caused it.
Do any of these make sense??? It doesn't make sense to me. I don't understand and I don't get it.
#blaming me#im done#there are no miracles in this world#cptsdhealing#living with cptsd#cptsd vent#cptsd problems#cptsd thoughts#actually cptsd#just cptsd things#tw cptsd#actually ptsd#cptsd tag#c ptsd#cptsd
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I LOVE being alive so I can be mediocre at SO many different hobbies
#this isn't sarcasm at all i love to try different tasks i get mediocre at a new thing every year#i love to learn about other people's hobbies!!#i am having a great time#there are so many things to do who can blame me for getting distracted from life tasks that are boring when there are all these fun ones
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Toothpaste companies must really hate people who are allergic to mint toothpaste, which a lot of people are! Apparently it's NOT supposed to burn like minty hellfire? (I'm fine with mint candy, it's only mint toothpaste that hurts)
I've been using Tom's fennel for years, but am now trying to find one with fluoride in it, and finding a toothpaste that is no mint and yes fluoride should not be such a huge and infuriating quest. still got some more grocery stores to search, but not even the children's toothpaste in the nearest one had any that were suitable.
Edit: Hey you don't need to keep copying out the tags, I wrote all the Minty Hellfire lyrics here. And then someone recorded them here.
Also, I think it might technically be a sensitivity rather than an allergy, but whatever it is, toothpaste is not supposed to hurt! If it's burning then that's bad and you should try to find a new one if possible!
#LIKE FIIIIRE! HELLFIIIIIRE! THIS FIRE ON MY TONGUE!#I therefooooore requiiiire a new paste tooooo cleeaaan gums#It's not my fault! I'm not to blame! it is the Colgate brand and Crest who've set this flame!#it's not my fault‚ if in their plans‚ they made the toothpaste so much stronger than a maaaaaaannnnnn#protect me‚ oh grocers! don't let the menthol touch my lips‚ don't let its fire sear my mouth and gums!#PROVIDE ME WITH FLUORIDE‚ but not mixed with the fires of Hell‚ and I'll keep all my teeth for years to cooooommeeee#HELLFIRE#MINT FIRE#IS ALL THAT I CAN FIND!#I may be! requiired! to order paaaaste oooonline!
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So my day started out shitty, and it appears that it will end on a shitty note as well. Well, that's just grand.
#bitmoji#all smiles#not waking up for work#blaming me#“i don't need to hear life lessons from YOU.”#i guess i'm just a pile o' crap#12 hour shift#people's champ#school issues#i fail#i lose#sigh#good night
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i think a lot about exactly 1 thing from the roman empire: the concept of bread and circus. the idea was that if your population was fed and entertained, they wouldn't revolt. you are asking us to give up our one small life, is the thing - for under 15 dollars an hour.
what would that buy, even. i am trading weekends and late nights and my back health. i am trading slow mornings and long walks and cortisol levels. i am trading sleep and silence and peace. for ... this. for what barely-covers-rent.
life really is more expensive right now. you aren't making that up. i make almost 3 times what i did 5 years ago, and despite an incredibly equal series of bills - i am still struggling. the most expensive line item i added was to own a dog. the money is just evaporating.
we were okay with it because it's a cost-benefit analysis. i could handle the customer harassment and standing all day and the manager's constantly changing temperament - i was coming home to hope, and my life planned in a blue envelope. three hours would buy me my dog's food for a month. i can give up three hours for him, for his shiny coat and wide, happy mouth. three days could be a new mattress, if i was thrifty. if i really scrimped and saved, we could maybe afford a trip into the city.
recently i cried in the car about the price of groceries.
business majors will be mad at me, but my most inflammatory opinion is that people should never be valued at the same place as products. your staff should not be a series of numbers in an excel sheet that you can just "replace" whenever you need something at that moment. your staff should be people, end of sentence.
it feels like someone somewhere is playing a very bad video game. like my life is a toy. like someone opened an app on their phone and hired me in diner dash ultra. they don't need to pay me well or treat me alright - they can always just show me the door. there is always someone more desperate, always someone more willing.
but i go to work and know i could save for years and not afford housing. i am never going to own my own home, most likely. i have no idea how to afford her ring, much less the wedding. my dog doesn't have his own yard. everything i love is on subscription. if i lose my job, i have no "nest egg" to catch my falling.
this thin life - they want me to give up summer for it. to open my mouth and throat and swallow the horrible hours and counted keystrokes. they want me to give up mountains and any non-federal holiday. to give up snow days. to give up talking to my mom whenever i want. to give up visiting the ocean and hearing the waves.
bread and circus worked for a while, actually. it was the kind of plan that would probably now be denounced by republicans as socialist commie liberal pronoun bullshit.
but sometimes i wonder if we should point them to the part of the history book that says: it worked until it didn't.
#spilled ink#warm up#writeblr#i have a good job please shut the fuck up before telling me to get a better job#girl i have vision and dental.#if u blame the victim that's wild. do u know about economic systems
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Alright, I will start with this one then - everything starts with the glorious revolution and everything starts with the night watch 🌸
#discworld#terry pratchett#samuel vimes#havelock vetinari#vimes x vetinari#vetvimes#lord vetinari#glorious revolution#lilac#the night watch#night watch#Am I doing it right at all#AAAAA#I love this book I hate it so much#Blame my sweet gf for spoiling me with such amazing literature also#AND FOR MAKING ME GO THROUGH THESE BOOKS IT'S JUST... UGGGH#Also also it's not Carrot I swear he wasn't there also Vimes should've been armorless but I realized it a bit too late BUT THAT'S FINE#my art
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Excerpts taken directly from the journal of Mumbo K. Jumbo, Pilot of the Voidsurfer.
Attributes AU: The Voidsurfer & co!
additional design notes & character lineup under the cut!
grian's wings are loosely based on a golden pheasant, and pearl's are based on a cerulean warbler
each crewmate of the voidsurfer has some amount of teal and/or orange in their outfit
each character's design is meant to loosely resemble their default mc skin in some capacity :D
#my art#attributes au#mumbo jumbo#skizzleman#goodtimeswithscar#pearlescentmoon#impulsesv#grian#geminitay#hermitcraft au#life series au#boatem#giggs#<- zera told me to add those blame him
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you wanted zoro to be on whole cake island to fulfil your weird desire to see zoro punish sanji. I wanted zoro on whole cake island because I think he's stupid enough to right place wrong time the plan and accidentally marry Sanji in full view of the whole wedding party in what becomes the most elaborately constructed comedy of errors ever written. we are NOT the same.
#need a fic where zoro genuinely does marry sanji on wci without planning it#type of thing to happen to goofy pre ts zoro#zoro in the same mindset in which he created the usopp sword: well i didn't mean to but i guess this solves the immediate problem#and ofc he just rolls with it#they look at each other after the dust settles like. hey wtf was that. and immediately blame each other#pre relationship AND feelings realisation on both sides#dont get me wrong i love fake relationship that becomes real but hear me out#legal accidental relationship thats extremely convenient and also funny until you pavlov yourself into being in love#vinsmoke sanji#black leg sanji#roronoa zoro#zosan#one piece#sanzo#zoro
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yuri jumpscare
#waiter! more yuri please#serving bsd followers again :3 hai#i blame oomf for this . he made me think of skk again#bsd#fem dazai#dazai osamu#dazai#bungo stray dogs#bungou stray dogs#fem skk#fem chuuya#chuuya#chuuya nakahara#soukoku#fem soukoku
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My buddies and I were talking about Barb getting Floyd to sing raunchy Nine Inch Nails songs and I had to make it happen </3
They're JUST lyrics BUT I wanted to be safe anyway so I censored them eee sorry guys cant be too careful on tumblr
The songs in order are Closer, Big Man with a Gun, and The Collector!
#trolls#trolls band together#trolls world tour#floyd trolls#barb trolls#riff trolls#fliff trolls#fliff#my art#if you dm me i can give you the uncensored images#blame poppy for censoring it not me idk#i love you trent reznor and your homoerotic lyrics
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something about "your anger isn't scary to me" is making me so emotional. something about as above so below, cassandra as a mirror of kristen. something about "I've been dropping the ball a lot lately" and kristen's struggles with adhd. something about teenage girls and rage and fury and justice. something about adaine's vision of ruining fallinel and the sylvaire looking for revenge. something about sadness and doubt and anger and love. something about "I choose to understand" being the absolute core theme of d20 in general. something something.
#something about kristen's adhd making her fuck things up and being mad at herself and that manifesting#as her deity being overcome with rage#something about fear and anger and shame and the inability to do better even when you're trying so hard#and something about people loving you anyway#something about 'your anger isnt scary to me'#as someone who had undiagnosed pcos in early high school and got so fucking MAD#something about adhd and how you're always failing and you have no one to blame but yourself#and how heart breaking it is to watch your life fall apart around you KNOWING you could do something#but being unable to do it right. always forgetting always slipping up#and how mad that makes you. at yourself.#this fight is so much#fhjy#d20#dimension 20#fantasy high
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middle school was Normal
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There are many new friends on the archive, and many are young and have only known social media, which is why I wanted to say something!
Ao3 does not have an algorithm! It isn't a social media site, it's an archive.
Posting fics on Tumblr isn't the same as posting fics on Ao3
Ao3 is like a giant virtual bookshelf, and everyone is able to add their own stories to the bookshelf, all stored with different tags and different fandoms. Works are automatically sorted by newest to oldest, but filters, looking at bookmarks, and using the search function can change that.
Certain works are not pushed to the top like social media posts. More kudos and reads don't push a single work to more viewers by some algorithm. Unless otherwise filtered, works will be at the top of the page based on how recent it was posted.
Smaller fandoms get less views, less kudos, less bookmarks, and larger fandoms get more simply because of the number of people inside the fandom.
Ao3 is a giant virtual bookshelf- there is no algorithm, and there is no man behind the shelf pushing certain books forward.
Happy reading, and if you'd like to have more people notice a fic, why not share it with them! Send a dm to a fandom friend and it might turn into one of their favorite fics!
#ao3#archive of our own#organization for transformative works#i have admittedly only been a member of the committee for a couple of years BUT ive been a member on ao3 since i was much younger#and it took me a hot second to understand how ao3 works; so i wanted to write a lil post about it after seeing this comment#no shade or blame to the person who wrote this by the way!#after being on social media so much it's a completely understandable mistake and i totally get it#and in fandoms populated by younger ppl typically it's even more understandable!#so absolutely no hate no shade no passive aggressiveness#but i do think it is important to learn how the archive works#so if you'd like to share this it would be greatly appreciated! <3#okay have a good day sorry this post/tags became so long haha
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the older and weirder i get the more i'm beginning to realize that i was actually a very cool kid who had no shame or fear until i was taught that i'd be punished for it and everything since then has been a slow uphill battle to get that part of myself back
#🐉#like man i was so unbullyable until i let myself be bullyable#not blaming myself because i was a kid but fuck i shouldve listened to the girl who told me i needed to stop caring#about what other people thought about me and being so desperate for their attention#she meant it in a horrible way because her point was that i was inherently unlikable and should accept that#but she was technically right she just had the wrong intentions
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the thing is there's like, a point of oversaturation for everything, and it's why so many things get dropped after a few minutes. and we act like millennials or gen z kids "have short attention spans" but... that's not quite it. it's more like - we did like it. you just ruined it.
capitalism sees product A having moderate success, and then everything has to come out with their "own version" of product A (which is often exactly the same). and they dump extreme amounts of money and environmental waste into each horrible simulacrum they trot out each season.
now it's not just tiktokkers making videos; it's that instagram and even fucking tumblr both think you want live feeds and video-first programming. and it helps them, because videos are easier to sneak native ads into. the books coming out all have to have 78 buzzwords in them for SEO, or otherwise they don't get published. they are making a live-action remake of moana. i haven't googled it, but there's probably another marvel or starwars something coming out, no matter when you're reading this post.
and we are like "hi, this clone of project A completely misses the point of the original. it is soulless and colorless and miserable." and the company nods and says "yes totally. here is a different clone, but special." and we look at clone 2 and we say "nope, this one is still flat and bad, y'all" and they're like "no, totally, we hear you," and then they make another clone but this time it's, like, a joyless prequel. and by the time they've successfully rolled out "clone 89", the market is incredibly oversaturated, and the consumer is blamed because the company isn't turning a profit.
and like - take even something digital like the tumblr "live streaming" function i just mentioned. that has to take up server space and some amount of carbon footprint; just so this brokenass blue hellsite can roll out a feature that literally none of its userbase actually wants. the thing that's the kicker here: even something that doesn't have a physical production plant still impacts the environment.
and it all just feels like it's rolling out of control because like, you watch companies pour hundreds of thousands of dollars into a remake of a remake of something nobody wants anymore and you're like, not able to afford eggs anymore. and you tell the company that really what you want is a good story about survival and they say "okay so you mean a YA white protagonist has some kind of 'spicy' love triangle" and you're like - hey man i think you're misunderstanding the point of storytelling but they've already printed 76 versions of "city of blood and magic" and "queen of diamond rule" and spent literally millions of dollars on the movie "Candy Crush Killer: Coming to Eat You".
it's like being stuck in a room with a clown that keeps telling the same joke over and over but it's worse every time. and that would be fine but he keeps fucking charging you 6.99. and you keep being like "no, i know it made me laugh the first time, but that's because it was different and new" and the clown is just aggressively sitting there saying "well! plenty of people like my jokes! the reason you're bored of this is because maybe there's something wrong with you!"
#this was much longer i had to cut it down for legibility#but i do want to say i am aware this post doesnt touch on human rights violations as a result of fast fashion#that is because it deserves its own post with a completely different tone#i am an environmental educator#so that's what i know the most about. it wouldn't be appropriate of me to mention off-hand the real and legitimate suffering#that people are going through#without doing my research and providing real ways to help#this is a vent post about a thing i'm watching happen; not a call to action. it would be INCREDIBLY demeaning#to all those affected by the fast fashion industry to pretend that a post like this could speak to their suffering#unfortunately one of the horrible things about latestage capitalism as an activist is that SO many things are linked to this#and i WANT to talk about all of them but it would be a book in its own right. in fact there ARE books about each level of this#and i encourage you to seek them out and read them!!! i am not an expert on that i am just a person on tumblr doing my favorite activity#(complaining)#and it's like - this is the individual versus the industry problem again right because im blaming myself#for being an expert on environmental disaster (which is fucking important) but not knowing EVERYTHING about fast fashion#i'm blaming myself for not covering the many layers of this incredibly complicated problem im pointing out#rather than being like. yeah so actually the fault here lies with the billion dollar industries actually.#my failure to be able to condense an incredibly immense problem that is BOOK-LENGTH into a single text post that i post for free#is not in ANY fucking way the same amount of harm as. you know. the ACTUAL COMPANIES doing this ACTUAL THING for ACTUAL MONEY.#anyway im gonna go donate money while i'm thinking about it. maybe you can too. we can both just agree - well i fuckin tried didn't i#which is more than their CEOs can say
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PEDRO PASCAL as SILVA
STRANGE WAY OF LIFE
2023 | dir. Pedro Almodóvar
#pedro pascal#silva#strange way of life#pedropascaledit#ppascaledit#dilfsource#strange way of life spoilers#swol spoilers#don't blame me'''
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