Ah, your work is so cute and it puts me in a good mood! You also have the characters personalities perfected! I was wondering if you could do a fic where maybe Mammon and MC are hanging out and MC comes out as trans (Ftm), but on accident (like Mammon sneaks a peak at his phone and noticed pride stuff and asks). Recently figured out I was and it’s been a bumpy ride and I just need a fic to cheer me up. Thank you if you do

You sir have been Most Patient, and for that I cannot thank you enough! This is super late, but I hope all is going well with you and your journey. ^-^ I also hope you still get some enjoyment out of this fic, even if it’s oh so very late.

Like… a year late. Maybe more. Probably more.

Sidebar, the setup for this feels kinda long but I also personally think it’s funny so I’m leaving it. I don’t have an editor to tell me no sooooooo :p

Content warnings: Accidental outing as trans, the mortifying ordeal of coming out, but otherwise this is gonna be pretty fluffy. 

Also, this isn’t a warning, but since I usually do gn stuff, I’m gonna be extra clear and say this fic is about a transgender male MC who uses he/him pronouns. Ladies and theydies, if you’d like your time, please wait until I’ve opened requests again and I’ll be happy to write ‘ya something.

Cis people who want to be transphobic? Why are you even here lmao

MC Comes Out as FTM By Accident (feat. Mammon)

It’s a (relatively) quiet day at the House of Lamentation. Satan is still firmly in the scheming phase of his latest prank; Lucifer is in some parlour somewhere, sipping Demonus and listening to a record that would “somberly vibrate the flesh off of your mortal bones, MC”; and Levi and the twins are livestreaming a bet about how many of the otaku third born’s figurines Beel can bench press (the latter two are under threat of 1000 years of torture if any of the merchandise is damaged).

This leaves Mammon and MC chilling on one of the House’s many frighteningly expensive couches, sometimes chatting, sometimes just silently sharing Devilgram memes with each other. 

(Asmo had been with them, but left after declaring that the sexual tension Mammon constantly radiated while around MC had become more pathetic than amusing. MC had just rolled his eyes and laughed, but judging by how many pillows Mammon had thrown his brother’s way and the dark blush on his face, he was taking the teasing more seriously.)

Personally, MC didn’t get why Mammon’s brothers gave him such a hard time. Sure he can be abrasive and his refusal to be honest despite how terrible he is at lying could get… frustrating, to say the least, but all in all he isn’t a bad person. Maybe demons are just bad at expressing genuine fondness for each other. Or maybe it just runs in the family, so to speak.

“H-hey, what are ‘ya staring at?!” Oops. MC didn’t even realize he’d been eyeing Mammon for that long. Not that he minds getting an extra eyeful of Mammon...

“Sorry, just spaced out for a minute there,” he says. 

Neither break eye contact for a long moment.

Shit, this is awkward. Think, MC, say something!

“So did you see this video of a hellhound on a trampoline—”

A glass-shattering shriek echoes through the House of Lamentation, followed by — oh that is actual glass shattering — and the plip-plap footsteps of someone running with bare, wet feet. Seconds later, a furious and appropriately damp Asmodeus comes flying down the stairs, with a weird orange and white towel on his head… Aaaaand nothing else on. MC doesn’t get to process any more than that before Mammon pounces on him, straddling him and covering his eyes with a hand.

“Asmo! What the hell are you doing, running around naked and screaming?!”

“I think you know why, you stupid scumbag!” Asmo retorts with an affronted flip of his hair. Or at least MC thinks it was his hair, all he knows is he just got lightly splashed. Why does he smell citrus?

“What are you even talking about?”

“I was going to take a nice, relaxing bath to scrub off your desperation for MC’s affections—”

“I am NOT desperate!”

“— but when I washed my hair, you know what happened?”

“...You confused orange juice for shampoo?” Mammon drawls. MC doesn’t need his vision to picture the smirk on Mammon’s face.

“How dare you,” Asmo hisses at much lower volume than before, “I would never confuse any of my bathing products.” His voice immediately returns to its regular cadence. “No, someone snuck dye into it, or replaced it, or cursed it or something! Because now,” a towel smacks wetly against the floor, “my hair looks like this!”

Mammon howls with laughter, prompting Asmo to make several sounds MC semi-confidently determines to be swears in Infernal… or whatever the native language of the Devildom is called.

He paws at Mammon’s hand obscuring his vision. If Asmo’s hair has been turned into a creamsicle by some prank gone wrong, he very much wants to see the damage. Unfortunately, Mammon doesn’t budge.

“Not that this isn’t extremely hilarious, but what does it have to do with me?”

Asmo squawks indignantly. “What does it— It was obviously you, you idiot!”

Finally, Mammon removes his hand from MC’s eyes to point an accusatory finger at Asmo and proclaim, “No way!”

The brothers’ petty argument fades into white noise as MC beholds Asmo’s hair. It truly is something else. The demon’s curls have gone from a peachy pink to a swirled mess of neon orange, with pieces of the original colour peaking through here and there. It cannot be played off as intentional or good in any way. There are even patches of his skin that are dyed orange as well. It’s pretty hilarious.

MC is starting to lose feeling in his legs.

“Uh, Mammon? You mind getting off of me?”

Eyes enormous, the Avatar of Greed does just that, and instead presses himself into the other side of the couch like a startled cat. Asmo rolls his eyes and turns his attention to MC.

“You’re not overwhelmed with the most poorly hidden crush of the millenia, right? Would you mind helping me sort this mess out?” he asks. “Think about it. It’ll just be you and me, all glistening and—”

“Not helping your case,” MC retorts, carefully keeping his eyes above Asmo’s waist, “but yeah, whatever cursed soda got into your hair stuff is probably close enough to normal stains that my tricks will help get them out. But! You need to put on some clothes first.”

“Spoilsport~ But if you insist…” Asmo smiles beatifically and saunters back to his room, making absolutely no effort to cover himself as he goes.

I’d kill for his confidence, MC thinks. He promises Mammon he’ll be back as soon as possible and takes his leave, following the trail of watery footprints.

~~~

Mammon remains folded into the corner of the couch, pouting. Of course Asmo had to come and steal MC away from him, he can’t have any time alone with him ever! There’s always some stupid shenanigans that interrupt it— 

MC left his phone. 

It’s sitting innocuously on the couch, face down. Unguarded.

Vulnerable.

He shouldn’t. He won’t! That’s MC’s phone. Mammon may be a demon, but he’s a demon with standards. He will totally respect MC’s privacy. He’s not even tempted. Who cares about some human’s phone anyway?

...What if it’s unlocked?

“Oh screw it.” 

The phone’s in his hand before the indent it left in the couch cushion can spring back in full. It is, in fact, unlocked, and open on the photos app for some reason. The photos are organized in time based folders. Mammon scrolls through the more recent ones, which consist mostly of pictures of the brothers, some with MC, some not — hey, when did MC take that picture of him?! — until he comes across a folder simply labelled “Pride”.

“Tch, they have a whole folder dedicated to Lucifer? Gross!” Mammon remarks as he opens it.

Jealous as he may not be of MC dedicating a folder to Lucifer instead of him anyone else, new pictures of Lucifer could sell for a pretty penny on the Devildom black market…

Oh. Oh. These are not photos of Lucifer. 

Mammon’s not the most knowledgeable about the human world, but he knows a Pride parade when he sees one. It looks like MC had a really nice time, smiling and laughing with a group of people in brightly coloured clothes. The album ends with a wide shot of MC and his friends in a line doing various corny poses. Each one has a distinctly coloured flag draped across their shoulders like a cape. MC’s is a 5 striped design of bright blue, pink, and white bars. The wrinkles on the flag/cape suggest it was recently unpackaged.

Something about those colours pings at Mammon’s memory, and with a bit of effort it comes to him: when MC first came to the Devildom, his phone background involved those colours! Asmo had seen it and asked him about the colour choice, to which he’d responded with some blustering nonanswer and then promptly changed the background.

Did MC… think that any of them would judge him for being trans?

“Okay,” MC declares as he re-enters the room, “Asmo’s given up and is bleaching his hair, apparently magic demon pranks go way harder...than…” 

Mammon freezes. The pair stare each other down for a few interminable seconds.

“...That’s my phone.”

“So it is…!”

“You saw the pictures, didn’t you.”

“Piiiiiiiicturrrrreessssss?” Mammon extends the word into several more syllables than is necessary. “What pictures?”

MC’s mouth does not say “Dude.” But the expression on his face very much conveys the sentiment nonetheless.

“Okay okay, I might have taken a little peek at your phone while you were gone. But it was just to make sure you didn’t leave it on! I locked it right away, I swear!”

“You’re still holding it.”

“Kuh-K-Keeping it warm! Cold phones lose battery faster!”

“...”

“Ugggggghhhhh okay! I looked a lot and saw everything! That what you wanna hear?!”

MC braces himself. “So…?”

“So what?”

“You don’t have any… questions?” he asks with a gesture towards himself.

“Uhhh, no?” Mammon pauses. “Oh wait, yeah, I have one.” Here we go. “ ‘MC’ and he/him pronouns are the right junk to call you by, yeah?”

MC blinks owlishly. “Yup— Uh, yeah, they are. Been that way for a while now… You really don’t—”

“MC,” Mammon says with a sharp toothed grin, “you really think humans are the only ones who get unsatisfied with what meat vessel or titles they’re assigned by the big man upstairs?”

Understanding bonks MC on the head with the same delicacy that Mammon carelessly tosses his phone back with. “Wait, r—”

“Let me show you how cool the Devildom trans flag is.”

WHEN EARTH TURNS TO ASHES

Masterlist

Chapter Six: Dust and Ashes and Cinders

Burning wings fluttered to no avail. Screams pierced the air with an agonizing ferocity. Flames licked at golden skin as the angels fell from Heaven and into the gaping jaws of Hell.

Dozens of the majestic creatures fell; the gradual descent causing their lovely features to turn impish and cruel. Feathered white wings turned to scales of black; the skin of shimmering gold shriveling into wrinkled gray tinged red; eyes of the purest summer's day transformed to a forest fire. It was both marvelous and shattering to watch.

The burning Hellfire—which should have consumed them—embellished their features into something near glorious. The flames licked their skin and caused it to glimmer instead of burn.

Heaven's clouds of ultimate glory began to close, allowing but one last angel to crash down to Hell. This final angel, however, did not change as she fell. Unlike her brothers and sisters, the angel's godly splendor increased into something more beautiful than man was worthy to behold. This angel was neither of Heaven or Hell, for She had been dragged out of Heaven against her will.

The angel continued to fall, but not to Hell—for the gates to fire and smoke had closed just as sure as the entrance to glory. The fallen angel was stuck in the middle. Earth.

Fire and glory consumed the angel, though no visible harm showed upon her skin. Tears flooded from her large earthy eyes and down her golden skin. She did not scream like the other fallen angels had, for at least they had a place where they were meant to live.

But this angel belonged to no one; she wasn't wanted by anyone.

***

Sweat still cooled the back of his neck, even as Kai walked into the Hospital. It was two in the morning, but family, doctors, and nurses still buzzed inside the white walls. Kai wasn't surprised. He remembered living in a different hospital for weeks while waiting for the passing of his mother.

It had been nearly a week since Kai had last come to visit Selene. He hadn't known whether or not he could stand to look at her, but he could no longer stay away— not after his dream.

Kai never remembered his dreams. He had been jealous of Thorne for having such exotic dreams for years, but maybe there was a reason for why he usually forgot. The dream he'd had was far too terrible and upsetting.

Kai had promised himself that he would do everything in his power to help this girl. He had kept that promise, but perhaps not in the way he should have. Kai had made a statement with the police. He had visited with Levana. He had taken care of her financial problems, but there wasn't a single day in which Kai had sat by her side and been there for her. He had left her all alone. He was a coward.

After seeing Selene for the first time since the accident, Kai had become sick. Guilt ate at him every time he looked at her mutilated flesh and lack of a limb. He had been so selfish; but he was ready to put that past him.

The extreme burns ward stank in a sickening way. You can still leave, Kai thought. She's in a coma; she won't know that you've been here. Kai hated himself for thinking it, but he couldn't help it.

Pushing past all the fear and guilt, Kai opened Selene's door. Immediate relief filled him at the mere sight of her. Already her skin was healing over, the skin grafting making her skin look patchy instead of bloody and charred.

Kai plopped down in the seat next to her bed. He hesitated, but grabbed her right hand— the one that wasn't burned. She looked peaceful and serene as she slept. Every care in the world had been swept away, if only for a few more days. A pang hit Kai's heart as he remembered the angel, knowing that it had been her.

Clearing his throat, Kai spoke to her. "I, um..." Kai turned to look at the doorway, but it remained empty. "I'm sorry that I haven't been here for you. You're all alone, and I let my own self pity and guilt keep me away, and I hope that you'll forgive me."

No response came, but Kai felt as if a weight had been lifted off his chest. "I got most of your affairs sorted through." Kai smiled, rubbing the back of her hand. Her palms were rough, and it must have been from her mechanics job. The backside of her hand, however, was soft and smooth. "I talked to Levana. She's the one who hit you. She feels terrible, maybe even worse than I feel."

A pause. For some reason, Kai kept on expecting her to talk to him. Stupid. "She was driving to visit her step-daughter. She just had a baby, but it's hard for her to take care of her. The daughter, Winter, has schizophrenia. She has these episodes where she thinks she's frozen or that her house is pooling with blood. Anyway, Levana was going down to help because Winter's husband was gone. He's a doctor and studies schizophrenia in hope for a cure. They were childhood best friends and he promised that he would help her. He loves her that much."

A warm fluttering filled Kai's chest. He wasn't entirely sure why he was telling Selene the story, or why Levana herself had told him, but he couldn't help it. He was a hopeless romantic, and the fantasy of someone loving another person that much filled Kai with unexplained joy. Thorne always teased him about it, but Kai couldn't help it.

"Anyways, Levana feels terrible about the whole thing. I heard that she's come to visit you a couple times even. She ran into Thorne one of the times." Thorne, unlike Kai, had visited Selene multiple times, though it was due to Kai's request. He had visited her three times, reporting that she looked even more hot every time he saw her while Kai sat in the hall outside her room trying not to cry. Kai hoped that he would not try to make a move once Selene woke up.

"I hope that Thorne hasn't bugged you too much. I told him just to come in and check on you, but he probably told you some terribly inappropriate jokes instead." Kai chuckled. "Sorry about him. His heart is in the right place, at least.

"I'm going to try contacting your family today. Well, Foster Family. I don't really know if it counts, but I bet they still love you." Kai cursed himself. He didn't want to give her false hope. Or himself for that matter. He had no clue of her backstory or why there had been a falling out. He had always had a happy family, and it was unfair to assume that hers was the same. "I bet that they'll come for you." Kai amended.

"I bet that I can even convince them to come down for your birthday." Kai winked, though there wasn't really a point. She couldn't see him. "I know that you'll be turning the big double decades in a week and I think that I'm gonna throw you a party."

Iko told him that small detail. She even mentioned that Selene should be able to be at home by that time as long as she had daily hospital visits.

"Selene," Kai covered her hand with both of his own. "I know that I don't know you at all, but I feel like some part of me does. Maybe it's because I dragged you from a burning car and have talked only complete nonsense to you since. Or perhaps it was fate. I don't know. You probably don't even believe in that kind of crap anyways."

A tugging sensation in Kai's gut urged him onward. "When I met Thorne, my best friend, we just kind of clicked. I knew that he would be my best friend, even before we talked to each other. I could be crazy, or sleep deprived–" Kai glanced at the clock on the wall.. "–but I think I'm supposed to know you."

Kai pulled Selene's hand up to his mouth and placed a tender kiss on it. He used to do this with his mother, while she was obstructed with machines and tubes. "Thank you for listening to me, Selene. I'll be back soon."

And Kai knew with a surety that he would.

***

The stench of smoke consumed the dark room, but the presence of the substance no longer remained. Selene's lungs burned, and her eyes stung, but at least she could breathe.

A light flashed on above Selene's head and she closed her eyes with a wince, blinded. A headache throbbed behind Selene's eyes, and the light made it ten times worse. "Wake up, you piece of crap." A kick landed in Selene's side. She let out a yelp, but that only earned her more abuse.

"Please stop." Selene begged, something she hated. She had begged for her mother not to leave her, but nature did enjoy the suffering of orphans. She had begged to stay with the Kesley family, but they hadn't wanted her. She had begged for Peony—the only person who had ever treated her like family—to stay with her, but she had left. "Please."

A strong arm grabbed Selene under the armpits, dragging her off the floor. Selene opened her eyes, just as her body was placed in a plastic school chair. Four people surrounded her, all familiar, but only three expected. The fourth caused a stab of betrayal within Selene.

"Why are you–"

"You know why we're doing this to you, Selene." Barked Sybil Mira, but that wasn't what Selene had been asking this time. She knew why they were doing it, but not why her best friend was. Sybil glared, her dark hair contrasted horribly with her honey skin and storm colored eyes. The black spots dancing across Selene's vision weren't doing much to help her case.

"You did a terrible thing." Sneered Aimery Park. It was funny to hear him accusing her of doing something bad after all the torment he had given to dozens of girls. "You killed Peony, and you're going to pay for it."

Selene glanced down at her feet. It was true; she had done something terrible. She was the reason why Peony had lost her life, and she deserved whatever came next. The only thing that she regretted was that her only friend had turned on her as well. She was the only girl who would talk to Selene, and it went the same for her. They sat together at lunch and did group projects together, and had even spent some time together outside of school together. But that had all been before the accident.

Pearl walked in front of the other three, dragging her nail viciously across Selene's cheek. "When we're done with you, you'll be nothing but dust and ashes and cinders."

Selene stared into Pearl's dark eyes fiercely. She was not about to play the docile girl who would get kicked around. Yes, Selene had made a mistake in letting Peony grow attached to her, but there was nothing that would fix it. They could do whatever they wanted to her, but Selene would never accept that it was right. Because it wasn't.

The final person came to stand in front of Selene. Her presence made Selene ache. She was the only one here who could truly hurt Selene. She would be the one to destroy her.

Selene waited for her best friend to say her piece. The girl hesitated, and for a second Selene thought that she looked regretful. There was a shot of pain in the blue eyes, and she was twisting her fingers in her hair out of nervous habit.

"You deserve this, Selene. You deserve the darkest and most fiery places of hades domain." Whispered the familiar voice. A single tear slipped from the girl's eye. Selene visibly flinched at the words. It hurt to know that her best friend would tell those who wanted to hurt her exactly how to injure her the most.

Selene hadn't meant to kill her sister. It had been an accident, and even the paramedics claimed that there was hardly anything she could have done differently. Selene blamed herself, but not in the same way Pearl did. She hadn't meant to do it, and she had thought her best friend would understand that.

Anger bubbled beneath Selene's skin. Hatred filled her; she would no longer beg to these monsters, but take her punishment. They could do anything to her, but in the end, she wouldn't waste another thought on them— they just weren't worth it.

"I'm sorry, but I'm pretty sure that place is already reserved for the four of you, Cress."

“The Garden of Janus”

I The cloud my bed is tinged with blood and foam. The vault yet blazes with the sun Writhing above the West, brave hippodrome Whose gladiators shock and shun As the blue night devours them, crested comb Of sleep's dead sea That eats the shores of life, rings round eternity! II So, he is gone whose giant sword shed flame Into my bowels; my blood's bewitched; My brain's afloat with ecstasy of shame. That tearing pain is gone, enriched By his life-spasm; but he being gone, the same Myself is gone Sucked by the dragon down below death's horizon. III I woke from this. I lay upon the lawn; They had thrown roses on the moss With all their thorns; we came there at the dawn, My lord and I; God sailed across The sky in's galleon of amber, drawn By singing winds While we wove garlands of the flowers of our minds. IV All day my lover deigned to murder me, Linking his kisses in a chain About my neck; demon-embroidery! Bruises like far-ff mountains stain The valley of my body of ivory! Then last came sleep. I wake, and he is gone; what should I do but weep? V Nay, for I wept enough --- more sacred tears! --- When first he pinned me, gripped My flesh, and as a stallion that rears, Sprang, hero-thewed and satyr-lipped; Crushed, as a grape between his teeth, my fears; Sucked out my life And stamped me with the shame, the monstrous word of wife. VI I will not weep; nay, I will follow him Perchance he is not far, Bathing his limbs in some delicious dim Depth, where the evening star May kiss his mouth, or by the black sky's rim He makes his prayer To the great serpent that is coiled in rapture there. VII I rose to seek him. First my footsteps faint Pressed the starred moss; but soon I wandered, like some sweet sequestered saint, Into the wood, my mind. The moon Was staggered by the trees; with fierce constraint Hardly one ray Pierced to the ragged earth about their roots that lay. VIII I wandered, crying on my Lord. I wandered Eagerly seeking everywhere. The stories of life that on my lips he squandered Grew into shrill cries of despair, Until the dryads frightened and dumfoundered Fled into space --- Like to a demon-king's was grown my maiden face! XI At last I came unto the well, my soul In that still glass, I saw no sign Of him, and yet --- what visions there uproll To cloud that mirror-soul of mine? Above my head there screams a flying scroll Whose word burnt through My being as when stars drop in black disastrous dew. X For in that scroll was written how the globe Of space became; of how the light Broke in that space and wrapped it in a robe Of glory; of how One most white Withdrew that Whole, and hid it in the lobe Of his right Ear, So that the Universe one dewdrop did appear. IX Yea! and the end revealed a word, a spell, An incantation, a device Whereby the Eye of the Most Terrible Wakes from its wilderness of ice To flame, whereby the very core of hell Bursts from its rind, Sweeping the world away into the blank of mind. XII So then I saw my fault; I plunged within The well, and brake the images That I had made, as I must make - Men spin The webs that snare them - while the knee Bend to the tyrant God - or unto Sin The lecher sunder! Ah! came that undulant light from over or from under? XIII It matters not. Come, change! come, Woe! Come, mask! Drive Light, Life, Love into the deep! In vain we labour at the loathsome task Not knowing if we wake or sleep; But in the end we lift the plumed casque Of the dead warrior; Find no chaste corpse therein, but a soft-smiling whore. XIV Then I returned into myself, and took All in my arms, God's universe: Crushed its black juice out, while His anger shook His dumbness pregnant with a curse. I made me ink, and in a little book I wrote one word That God himself, the adder of Thought, had never heard. XV It detonated. Nature, God, mankind Like sulphur, nitre, charcoal, once Blended, in one annihilation blind Were rent into a myriad of suns. Yea! all the mighty fabric of a Mind Stood in the abyss, Belching a Law for "That" more awful than for "This." XVI Vain was the toil. So then I left the wood And came unto the still black sea, That oily monster of beatitude! ('Hath "Thee" for "Me," and "Me" for "Thee!") There as I stood, a mask of solitude Hiding a face Wried as a satyr's, rolled that ocean into space. XVII Then did I build an altar on the shore Of oyster-shells, and ringed it round With star-fish. Thither a green flame I bore Of phosphor foam, and strewed the ground With dew-drops, children of my wand, whose core Was trembling steel Electric that made spin the universal Wheel. XVIII With that a goat came running from the cave That lurked below the tall white cliff. Thy name! cried I. The answer that gave Was but one tempest-whisper - "If!" Ah, then! his tongue to his black palate clave; For on soul's curtain Is written this one certainty that naught is certain! XIX So then I caught that goat up in a kiss. And cried Io Pan! Io Pan! Io Pan! Then all this body's wealth of ambergris, (Narcissus-scented flesh of man!) I burnt before him in the sacrifice; For he was sure - Being the Doubt of Things, the one thing to endure! XX Wherefore, when madness took him at the end, He, doubt-goat, slew the goat of doubt; And that which inward did for ever tend Came at the last to have come out; And I who had the World and God to friend Found all three foes! Drowned in that sea of changes, vacancies, and woes! XXI Yet all that Sea was swallowed up therein; So they were not, and it was not. As who should sweat his soul out through the skin And find (sad fool!) he had begot All that without him that he had left in, And in himself All he had taken out thereof, a mocking elf! XXII But now that all was gone, great Pan appeared. Him then I strove to woo, to win, Kissing his curled lips, playing with his beard, Setting his brain a-shake, a-spin, By that strong wand, and muttering of the weird That only I Knew of all souls alive or dead beneath the sky. XXIII So still I conquered, and the vision passed. Yet still was beaten, for I knew Myself was He, Himself, the first and last; And as an unicorn drinks dew From under oak-leaves, so my strength was cast Into the mire; For all I did was dream, and all I dreamt desire. XXIV More; in this journey I had clean forgotten The quest, my lover. But the tomb Of all these thoughts, the rancid and the rotten, Proved in the end to be my womb Wherein my Lord and lover had begotten A little child To drive me, laughing lion, into the wanton wild! XXV This child hath not one hair upon his head, But he hath wings instead of ears. No eyes hath he, but all his light is shed Within him on the ordered sphere Of nature that he hideth; and in stead Of mouth he hath One minute point of jet; silence, the lightning path! XXVI Also his nostrils are shut up; for he Hath not the need of any breath; Nor can the curtain of eternity Cover that head with life or death. So all his body, a slim almond-tree, Knoweth no bough Nor branch nor twig nor bud, from never until now. XXVII This thought I bred within my bowels, I am. I am in him, as he in me; And like a satyr ravishing a lamb So either seems, or as the sea Swallows the whale that swallows it, the ram Beats its own head Upon the city walls, that fall as it falls dead. XXVIII Come, let me back unto the lilied lawn! Pile me the roses and the thorns, Upon this bed from which he hath withdrawn! He may return. A million morns May follow that first dire daemonic dawn When he did split My spirit with his lightnings and enveloped it! XXIX So I am stretched out naked to the knife, My whole soul twitching with the stress Of the expected yet surprising strife, A martyrdom of blessedness. Though Death came, I could kiss him into life; Though Life came, I Could kiss him into death, and yet nor live nor die! XXX Yet I that am the babe, the sire, the dam, Am also none of these at all; For now that cosmic chaos of I AM Bursts like a bubble. Mystical The night comes down, a soaring wedge of flame Woven therein To be a sign to them who yet have never been. XXXI The universe I measured with my rod. The blacks were balanced with the whites; Satan dropped down even as up soared God; Whores prayed and danced with anchorites. So in my book the even matched the odd: No word I wrote Therein, but sealed it with the signet of the goat. XXXII This also I seal up. Read thou herein Whose eyes are blind! Thou may'st behold Within the wheel (that alway seems to spin All ways) a point of static gold. Then may'st thou out therewith, and fit it in That extreme sphere Whose boundless farness makes it infinitely near.

-- Aleister Crowley

Wolfsbane : Noblesse Fanfic (post-ending)

(previous chapter)

Chapter 50 – Yuhyung’s Scheme, and...

“What favor?”

Rael retorted, his posture frozen in poor coordination, a result of being interrupted when he was about to take a major leap towards KSA headquarter.

As he was waiting for Yuhyung’s following words, Rael was met with an unexpected heavy grit of the human’s upper and lower teeth, because of which he shifted his red irises towards the rear.

“What is it?”

The atmosphere perched upon his back turned grave out of blue, and Rael’s voice got graver to match it.

He could not fathom what could make such a hopelessly careless man so solemn without any warning.

“I know this is sudden, but I must ask you not to go to KSA.”

“What? What do you mean by that?”

“Please, could you take us to somewhere else? And I mean right now.”

They had not a second to waste for the QuadraNet project, and Rael could not be more baffled at Yuhyung’s request.

Still, as far as he was concerned, Yuhyung Jang was not the type to speak or behave with no reason, so Rael decided to give him ears.

“There’s someone after us.”

Right then Rael’s blonde hair made a rushed turn towards the speaker.

“What did you say?”

This cannot be.

I am the umbra unmatched, the sharpest steel of Kertias. There’s no way somebody, if anybody, could bypass my senses.

For the mere seconds he spent waiting for Yuhyung’s further details, the storm in Rael’s brain took his cognition towards deepest dread.

Normally he would have begun retracing everything he knows and has done until now, to ultimately and calmly deduce the most likely case that is at work at the moment.

However, he was held back by the barely-made progress of the QuadraNet project and the hardly-improved relation with the Kertia patriarchs.

What if someone did deceive my senses?

What if such qualified enemy is indeed stalking us?

What if I just went ahead and invited such surely-powerful foe to the KSA’s domain AND the country that the Noblesse has made his home?

And what if it turns out I raised the curtains for the sequel of Ignes’s assault on KSA or the trigger of this human’s trauma?

Rael could see the reprimanding faces of patriarchs ghosting within his vision.

His legs would have given out if Yuhyung had not called him once more.

“Uh, allow me to rephrase that. There’s someone after you.”

To me alone?

Does this mean this pursuer has something personal to deal with me, unrelated to Lukedonia or QuadraNet or the Union?

The tremor that was creeping over Rael’s entire shape was relatively gone.

Relatively.

“And I’d like to apologize... This is my fault.”

“What do you mean that it’s your fault?”

“Because this person is a noble just like you.”

“What? What do you...”

“There is this extremely pale man that looks like he’ll collapse if someone pokes him. Do you know him by any chance?”

“Deneb Illiness? Is that who you’re talking about?”

“Oh, that’s right. He called himself Deneb Illiness.”

Rael was aware that their history was not very beautiful.

Or rather, they had no history at all.

But is there a reason for him to chase me?

Above all, why is this human apologizing me regarding him?

Rael was busy rolling his eyes, and Yuhyung feigned guilt by tightening the entire muscles on his face.

“And for duration of my stay at Lukedonia... I served him as his eyes.”

Don’t tell me, muttered Rael in his head.

“He forecast that you’ll rarely separate yourself from me, as you are the Lukedonian ambassador for this project. So he demanded I spy on you for him.”

“...He told you to spy on me?”

“Y-yes... He said he should keep his eyes on you and even eliminate you if he has to, in order to get what he wants.”

Rael was shocked enough that someone has been trailing them from Lukedonia.

His shock was doubled upon finding out it was none other than Deneb Illiness.

Now his head was spinning to know that Yuhyung had been performing espionage behind everyone’s back for the noble with bloodless looks.

That did not mean the growth he had gone through during his strife against Union is entirely gone; despite that it took him a lot of effort to keep his lobes from being fragmented, his brain was slowly but surely whirring in process.

The only scenario he could think of to assign appropriate reason for Deneb to dare dream of watching and killing him, to the latter’s utmost displeasure, was a love triangle that involves Seira.

Though Deneb has never made his obsession with Seira conspicuous in Rael’s presence, the Kertia’s memories unfortunately remained vivid in terms of the nightmarish tea party during which he was relentlessly ripped apart by the non-octaclans.

Now he could see so very well what Deneb intended during the said tea party; it was no task at all for Rael to link the enlightenment to the fact that Deneb was currently on the chase for him.

“So, did he slip that he’ll be coming all the way to Korea for me?”

“No, he warned me that once you depart, he will wait several minutes before he sets off, so that you wouldn’t notice how you have an uninvited guest looking for you. He added that once he gets caught in a battle with you... He will go all out against you, whether I’m there or not, lest you note we have a connection. He was basically telling me that I’m on my own when it comes to my life.”

“He didn’t order you to relay all this to me, did he?”

“No. Consider it my repentance, albeit late, for deceiving you and other nobles and being unable to beat his coercion and...”

Yuhyung deliberately let the end of his speech droop, in order to make taut the bond of faith Rael has attached to him.

He knew how Rael will react after this.

Rather, he was hoping he knew correctly.

Actually, there was no need to hope; he was already confident that his knowledge will be as true as it can be.

He remembered how that pallid noble admitted himself that his competence in combat cannot be even dubbed competence, compared to what Rael could exercise.

He even specified that he would last less than 3 seconds given that the Kertia pulls out something called soul weapon.

Yet Yuhyung knew that now Rael will recalibrate his destination so that he could settle this quietly by himself.

Based on what he had picked up during his business at Lukedonia, Rael Kertia is fatally conscious of himself.

Though Yuhyung had not the faintest idea who could make him so self-conscious, there was no doubt they were influential enough to make THE head of the Kertias fear his own word and action.

And Rael was severely afraid of providing them with reason to give him a heart-rending lecture, which Yuhyung assumed will be in effect whether he is within or beyond Lukedonian boundaries.

Which gave Yuhyung conclusion that he would not want to cause any trouble in Korea, no matter how brief or small it is.

Therefore, if he is to cast an idea that he must deal with Deneb by himself without anybody else’s awareness, Rael would not be able to walk away from such option.

“Are you going to be okay? I feel like we’re about to have a skirmish with your own kind. Uh, but I’m not questioning your fighting capabilities! They have already been deemed worthy during your struggle against the topmost modified humans from the Union.”

Rael’s lips remained zipped as he listened.

“B-but still... Forgive me for being nosy, but I’m worried you might get caught in trouble once your people find out that you had a physical issue with your own kind during your mission related to the QuadraNet project, though you’re not the cause...”

With the bait out in open, Yuhyung expected Rael to take a bite; and the noble did, by exhibiting awfully dense fear.

Rael’s face was invisible from Yuhyung’s angle; nevertheless, he could see what Rael was going through, thanks to the shiver Rael’s backside delivered to his chest, which was certainly not there before.

“...Don’t worry. I’ll make sure he will not lay his hands on you. And... I must ask you not to spill this to any other soul.”

“Oh, don’t you worry, sir! I happen to be going against my boss’s order to come back as soon as possible.”

“...Now, I shall take you there.”

“There...? What there?”

“I’m terribly sorry I must take you there, but... That’s the only place in this country that comes with an empty space big enough so I wouldn’t have to mind my surroundings during brawl.”

Rael said no more, and Yuhyung, having foreseen this, simply nodded to show his consent.

The spot that bloody chaos took place due to Lunark, Zarga, Urokai, and 8th Elder remains as a concrete desert that looks like a crater created by a gigantic meteor.

To Yuhyung, it is the birthplace of everything that had ever happened to him.

‘As much as I’m still unpleasant to even near that place, I suppose it’s only logical that I finish everything there.’

Rael told him once more to hold on tight, and Yuhyung followed suit, as his lips shrunk in infinitesimal rate.

I’m almost there.

Just a little bit more, and I’m gonna make it.

*****

Meanwhile, somewhere across the sea

Pow! Thud!

Pow!!!

The blue-black surface was being bombarded with an array of deafening noise and aquatic pillars humongous enough to swallow an apartment at least twelve stories high.

Faster... Faster! Come on, don’t fail me now, my legs!

Lunark had been mercilessly kicking across the sea ever since she had passed the shorelines of Korea.

During her race, the wrinkles rooted to her forehead and corners of her lips did not fade a bit.

She could only come up with the worst of the worst-case scenarios regarding what the definitely-to-shred-into-pieces man who repaid her beloved’s hospitality with betrayal would be up to at this very moment, which got renewed and worsened every second.

Which is why she could catch the silhouette of Frankenstein’s island much faster than usual.

She could soon behold the island’s face, and that was when her own face began to shift.

‘...Did my eyes choose to go on a strike because of the recent series of business trips I booked myself in a series? That island shouldn’t look like that.’

Lunark closed the distance with the island that had obviously gotten monochromatic in overall, and she found herself in stupefaction.

“What in the...?”

The heavenly sight that almost rid her of her purpose of visit during her introduction to the place was nowhere to be seen.

Everything – emerald-hued leaves and bushes, petals of thousand colors waltzing in the wind, and horde of butterflies flashing their mesmerizing natural dyes – were all gone, as if telling her that they were all her imaginations.

She was instead met with the aftermath of the scent from something burned and the concrete debris that had been flung to the corners of the island.

‘Did they put up a round while I was on my way?’

After a pregnant gulp, Lunark forced her half-petrified legs to move.

Before she could even take good several steps towards the building, she gasped at the mind-numbing, creepy feeling grasping her from head to toe.

It was, according to Lunark’s personal impression, what one would feel if death is made compatible with sixth sense.

And the only time she could ever feel like this happened when Frankenstein summoned the cursed weapon to brandish his cursed power.

Her mind already surmising that there was at least a bloodshed in this place, Lunark hurriedly ran, her cloak flying about behind her, until her eyes caught a figure ahead.

‘Is that him...?!’

(next chapter)

At the moment I happen to be composing chapters that feature battle scenes, but the chapters I’m posting didn’t even get started yet lol. Which reminded me that as much as I’m moving on to the highlight of this fic, I still have a long way to go until the finale. XD

Art is somewhat hard to understand its concept from some, and no wonder because the misinformation about this term has been promoted. And because of that, there’s a constant debate about the topic.

Art is not a personal concept. When we talk about art, we’re not talking about tastes, but a discipline. And like any other discipline, it takes some logic and reasoning. I want to make sure why is there the mistake that art is ambiguous when it’s pretty clear. There are two categories about the definitions of art or preferably two ways to see art.

There’s the belief that art has an objective definition and the view that art is something personal. The 1st definition I’m mentioning appeared first, and because of that, it’ll be the one I’m talking about first.

While the artistic expression has existed since the first steps of humanity, that definition was given by old schools and when society stabilised art as a discipline because it never was considered as such.

METAPEDIA (100% trustworthy) Art is the use of ability or imagination in the creation of aesthetic objects, environments or experiences that can be shared with others. Artistic pieces are the materialisation of human feelings, ideas or a worldview, that being carried to others, have the faculty to enrich their personalities. A town’s art is part of its culture and reflects its customs, believes and behaviours. Spanish Wikipedia (Not my cup of tea)

Art (From Latin ars, artis, and Greek τέχνη téchnē) is generally understood as any activity or product made with an aesthetic and also communicational purpose, where they express ideas, emotions and in general, a worldview through a diversity of resources, like sculptural, linguistic, resonant, corporal and mixed ones.

Definición.de Art (From Latin, ars) is the concept that encompasses all creations made by the human being to express a sensitive vision about the world, either real or imaginary. Through sculptural, linguistic or resonant resources, art allows expressing ideas, emotions, perceptions and sensations.

If we go to different sources, the definition is written with different words, but the idea is the same. Art is about material or experience of aesthetic nature, that materialises thoughts and feelings; and can be shared with others to enrich the personality.

Concept

The definition of art is open, subjective and debatable. There is no unanimous agreement between historians, philosophers or artists. Over time, there have been numerous definitions of art, including: “art is the right order of reason” (Thomas Aquinas); “Art is that which establishes its own rule” (Schiller); “Art is style” (Max Dvořák); “Art is the expression of society” (John Ruskin); “Art is the freedom of genius” (Adolf Loos); “Art is the idea” (Marcel Duchamp); “Art is the novelty” (Jean Dubuffet); "Art is action, life” (Joseph Beuys); “Art is everything that men call art” (Dino Formaggio); “Art is the lie that helps us see the truth” (Pablo Picasso) ; “Art is life, life is art (Wolf Vostell)”. The concept has changed over time: until the Renaissance, art was only considered the liberal arts; architecture, sculpture and painting were “crafts.” Art has always been one of the primary means of expression of the human being, through which it expresses its ideas and feelings, the way it relates to the world. Its function can vary from the most practical to the most ornamental; it can have religious or merely aesthetic content; it can be durable or transient. In the 20th century, even the material substrate was lost: Beuys said that life is a means of artistic expression, highlighting the vital aspect, the action. Thus, everyone is capable of being an artist.

The term art comes from the Latin ars and is the equivalent of the Greek term τέχνη (téchne, from which ‘technique’ comes from). Originally it applied to all man-made production and disciplines of know-how. Thus, artists were as much the cook, the gardener or the builder, as the painter or the poet. Over time, the Latin derivation (ars -> art) was used to designate the disciplines related to the arts of the aesthetic and the emotional. And the Greek derivation (téchne -> technical) for those disciplines that have to do with intellectual productions and articles of use. At present, it is difficult to find that both terms (art and technique) are confused or used as synonyms.

Attributes of Painting, Sculpture and Architecture (1769), by Anna Vallayer-Coster

What I don’t like about the Wikipedia article is that it contradicts itself. It starts with a clear definition with no ambiguities; later, it says that art is subjective because there’s not a consensus about its definition. That is because many experts have different ideas about what art is, which it’s absurd because the fact that someone understands something differently doesn’t deny the truth. It’s like saying that I understand math differently and mathematics have different interpretations, in other words, they’re subjective, which it’s ridiculous. Many examples of opposite ideas that Wikipedia put as an example don’t contradict each other. Because they are straightforward ideas, at most an expert prioritises more thought than another one. It’s not like one of them said that art could be anything, what is ugly or a person. They got certainty about what is more important in art, not that art is each thing.

Let’s analyse why the given definition makes sense, breaking down the features that compose it:

1. Art refers to some material or experience with an aesthetic character: 

That makes sense because it’s aesthetic; it makes it striking and presentable; also, it reflects effort. And reflecting something that requires effort it gives a meaning that art is a job, I mean if it’s not a job and anyone can do it, then why would there be artist or experts in the first place? Besides, if we take out the aesthetic feature in the definition, then horrible and harmful things would be considered art.

 2. It materialises ideas and feelings: 

That tells us that one of the foundations of art is it has to have a communicational function, I mean, art must have a meaning. That makes sense because if art has no meaning, what’s the point of doing it? So you can admire it? Why admiring it? What are your reasons to admire it if it doesn’t mean anything? Let’s leave out the communicational function of the definition. It has room to the fact that if something is beautiful, then it’s art. Beauty has a very high rank, so it would make the definition ambiguous.

3. It can be shared to enrich the personality: That’s extremely important because it gives art a purpose; every discipline must have a purpose. It’s part of the concept of the field; I mean schools exist to educate, science exists to make life easier and preserve the species. Science is a discipline, and art just like science has a purpose; to enrich the personality. Through art, you think, you learn something new. As said earlier, art is a materialisation of ideas and feelings, and that’s why consuming art is good. With art, you learn, art is emotional intelligence. Art just like science is something that has its reason to be, its logic; it’s merely another kind of logic, another type of intelligence.

The 2nd definition of art is something personal, and so; subjective appears after 1884 when the artistic movement; The Impressionism, which it was contemptuously criticised back then; was active. The impressionists, in defence of the critiques they got, they forced the idea that “Beauty was in the eyes of the beholder.”

That’s absurd to me because as I explained earlier, not just because someone has a different take, it doesn’t mean that an objective or relative truth cannot exist. I mean, you can say a sickness can be beautiful, but the thing is no matter how much you want to bend reality, it’s a fact that an illness is not beautiful in any way.

While I respect the impressionist movement to a certain point, and I respect its ideology to sacrifice complexity to leave colours to transmit emotions. I do consider that its new subjectivist definition of art was a terrible misfortune, because of that there’s a lot of confusion with a term that easily was well-defined through centuries. Not only that way of thinking brought lots of notoriously inferior artistic movements like Cubism.

In a nutshell, it’s a mediocre way of thinking that brought with itself misinformation, a decline of the idea of art, and a drop of quality.

My point reinforces with a simple comparison; you have to compare the works that were created with an objective definition of art, with the ones with a subjective definition.

Think for a moment how well-defined was the first definition, and how it demanded higher standards. Turning out in more outstanding excellence and compare it with the problems and ambiguities that brings the 2nd definition.

According to the ambiguous 2nd definition, art itself is ambiguous; then anything can be considered as art. It all depends on how it’s seen. If that’s true, it promotes overthinking; in other words, pretentiousness. You are praising something for its lack of content or its confusing/contradictory content. On the other hand, if we omit many features of the 1st definition, the idea of arts stops making sense. Let’s say art for some is what is beautiful, but it’s not necessary to be communicational. That means art lacks substance, and then painting green a wall is art, because the colour is beautiful.

If presenting just a beautiful colour is art, then it doesn’t make sense trying hard to create something with substance. Because a painting that took you days to perfect will be as praised as an empty portrait with no meaning.

Let’s consider art to be transmitting something, in other words, having a communicational function. Still, our message doesn’t need to be beautiful nor aesthetic. We’re saying that things like wishing death to somebody can be considered as art, or just communicating anything is art; even a conversation.

There’s a reason why a political speech shouldn’t be considered as art. The political address is communicational and discipline, but not an artistic one. I could go on for hours explaining why it doesn’t make sense to have a very flexible definition of art, and why the first one has better results.

The first one never created a creative standstill nor restricted the artists. It helps them to push themselves and reach excellence; the praise of their people aided them to create culture.

What is too abstract loses all meaning as art. I’m not saying that art shouldn’t have an ambiguous character in certain aspects, after all. As I said in the past, subtlety is one of the most of import components in good work. The difference between an ancient artwork and modern art nonsense is that the first one counts with recognisable elements that give you tools to interpret. While modern art is so abstract, that it’s not made up of anything, I mean, it’s not like it’s hard to understand, you’re so pretentious, that you see messages where there’s none. The work was done like that on purpose so people can fill the empty voids instead of taking credit from that job to the author, who has no conviction in what they want to express.

Minimalism is not a type of artistic technique; it’s a type of design. It works well, and it’s attractive for advertising or to spread information, not to have a pragmatic and crucial message because minimal art lacks eloquence.

The only thing that our free and modern definition of art is doing is to create confusion, lower the standards, and to ridicule the name of art. It’s because of things like a man taking a shit can be considered a piece of art nowadays, people who don’t know about art; dimmish its value. That’s why people don’t see art as a World Heritage Site, and it’s as important as science. And that’s why people who want to be artists to suffer, because their parents don’t want them to be artists. Because they consider something artistic work as a ridiculous job and has lesser value than other jobs.

We must start to understand what genuinely is art. We must begin to understand its importance, its work. We must change the popular mindset about art. When people see art is work, that it requires effort, dedication, sweat and tears. That art is quality work, and that is not something that is just held to personal perception, or taste. It’ll be the time when people will start respecting art again. Maybe then, the fans will be more demanding, business people will abide by franchises more. And they’ll set out to see that in the entertainment world there’s not just entertainment, but also art.

                                                                  -

We all know at this time and age whoever judges art with a postmodernist view is an idiot and a spoiled brat. I’m not going to argue with hicks anymore about something that they’re not interested in. Instead, I’ll address to people who are genuinely interested in art, no matter their reasons for their interest. Especially I’ll address to a group who is following and having me in mind.

So, my brothers, believe it or not, art can say more about the state of a society than a thousand words.

I have the hard belief that one sees GOOD art when a society is good and healthy.

And one sees bad art when a society that is not very intelligent or diseased.

After years of studying and being interested in the world’s history, this funny pattern repeats with no exception whatsoever. It’s by far one of the best ways to judge the quality of a nation.

Even though you want to believe it’s an issue about money, the truth is that it’s not the case. I want to point out that a wealthy society can produce art, that art is degenerate, sick and anti-nation.

That should not be surprising because art is the reflection of a person’s soul and spirit level. Degenerate art reflects a sick society and a disloyal state. Anyways, why is producing art so important anyway? My idea of saving the world has to do with anything artistic-wise.

As this curious study shows, our shitty modern buildings make us depressed, and no wonder.

They’re grey, similar and dull.

Capitalism and globalism destroyed that magic.

In ancient times, we were leaving our homes with excitement because we were feeling inspired by our surroundings.

Instead, now most people are doing jackshit and repeating a depressive routine.

In ancient times, our ancestors were admiring and praising the stars as their gods.

Now you can’t even see a single star because there is smog.

It’s like that simple joke of “Retro Always Wins” was never a joke, but actual reality. Not only art is getting shittier; life itself gets even shittier. Horrible shit happens every day, but nobody cares. Horrible shit occurred in ancient times, but people were inspired and giving their lives away. They cared about things, and they weren’t sedated in front of a screen. Modernity made us weak and epicurean. I’m not too fond of the modern world, and I’d love even to be a miserable hobo if I had the chance to live in those magnificent times. To be surrounded by those beautiful castles, that fine music. At the same time, I can see little kids playing outside.

Even the CIA admitted that the elites manipulated art to control your emotions. Typical from this disgusting modernity, nobody gives a fuck, nobody complains, nobody talks about it. We accepted our fate as an uninspired herd with no ambitions. We don’t have art to inspire us anymore. However, we got stupid entertainment that makes us temporarily happy to stay still, immobile and inactive. In a nutshell; we reached the point that it’s completely useless.

Or isn’t it? I understand why people don’t listen to me because many turn down my message and because they sense me as a lunatic or excentric. After all, I’m not someone to be considered as normal. What moves my gears is something different. If at the end I will die and so will the universe and nobody has no certainty about what will happen next. Then why worry about all this shit about values, beauty or inspiration?

Because it feels right for me, when I was a kid, one person who used to make me happy was my grandfather. He’s part of why I started liking cartoons a lot. He used to tell me cool stories and made impressions of cartoon characters to make me laugh. I never met such a joyful and full of energy person like him in my life. He always inspired me, telling me his stories and showing me how strong he was. One day… he just got cancer, my grandpa was going to die, and while I was sad about it, I was too weak to face reality. I sometimes wanted to escape and not thinking of sad stuff. I made so many hedonistic things at the time. I couldn’t look at my grandfather because he’s just wasn’t the same, all that jolliness was just gone. My grandfather died, I didn’t dare to say goodbye, and that’s why I hate hedonism, and I love fascinating and beautiful art.

Hedonism weakens us, and we always know it when we fall into it. Instead, art or even good entertainment inspires and join us together.

That’s why I promised myself never to lose my spirit, no matter how most people see me; I will be me—doing crazy things, taking risks. The victory means finding a superior status, and defeat means finding death. There won’t be in-betweens for me; I’ll be eternally inspired, even in the eyes of death. No cancer will change that, not even the cancer of modernity.

Icon, Saint& Reading: Tue., Oct. 13, 2020

Oct 1st_Julian calendar

The Protection of the MostHoly Mother of God

     The Protection (Pokrov) of the MostHoly Mother of God: "The Virgin today doth stand forth within the Church, and with the choirs of the Saints invisibly for us doth pray to God: angels with hierarchs make reverence, and apostles with prophets sing forth: for us the Birthgiver of God prayeth the Praeternal God" – this miraculous appearance of the Mother of God occurred in the mid-X Century at Constantinople, in the Blakhernae church where there was preserved the Robe of the Mother of God, Her Head-Veil (mathoria) and part of the Belt-Sash, transferred from Palestine in the V Century. On Sunday, 1 October, during the time of the all-night vigil, when the church was overflowing with those at prayer, the Fool-for-Christ Saint Andrew (Comm. 2 October) at the fourth hour of the night lifted up his eyes towards the heavens, and beheld coming through the air our MostHoly Lady Mother of God resplendent with an Heavenly light and surrounded by an assembly of the Saints. The holy Baptist of the Lord John and the holy Apostle John the Theologian accompanied the Queen of Heaven. On bended knee the MostHoly Virgin began with tears to pray for Christians and for a long time was at prayer. Then, coming nigh the Prestol'-Throne, She continued Her prayer, which having completed She then took from Her head the veil and spread it over the people praying in church, protecting them from enemies both visible and invisible. The MostHoly Lady Mother of God was resplendent with Heavenly glory, and the protecting veil in Her hands gleamed "more than the rays of the sun". Saint Andrew gazed atrembling at the miraculous vision and he asked of his disciple Blessed Epiphanios standing alongside him: "Dost thou see, brother, the Queen and Lady, praying for all the world?" Epiphanios answered: "I do see, holy father, and I be in awe". The Ever-Blessed Mother of God implored of the Lord Jesus Christ to accept the prayers of all the people, calling on His MostHoly Name and hastening in recourse to Her intercession. "O Heavenly King, – sayeth in prayer the Immaculate Queen standing aethereally amidst the Angels, – accept every person, that prayeth unto Thee and calleth on My Name for help, let them not go empty away unheard from before My Visage". Saints Andrew and Epiphanios, granted to behold the Mother of God at prayer, "for a long time did gaze at the protecting veil spread over the people and the lightning like flashes in glory to the Lord; as long as the MostHoly Mother of God was there, so likewise was the protecting veil visible; but with Her departure it likewise became invisible, and though having taken it with Her, She left behind the grace of having been there". At the Blakhernae church was preserved the memory of the miraculous appearance of the Mother of God. In the XIV Century, the Russian pilgrim and clerk Aleksandr saw within the church an icon of the MostHoly Mother of God praying for the world, and written such, as depicting Saint Andrew in contemplation of Her. But the Greek Church does not know this feast. [trans. note: i.e. does not historically celebrate this feast. Our Russian source is here reticent concerning the historical circumstances occasioning the necessary protective intercession of the Mother of God, and it reflects a great irony, that for the Russians rather than for the Greeks this should be an important feast, since it celebrates the Divine destruction by a storm of a large pagan-Russian fleet under Askold and Dir which threatened Constantinople itself, sometime in the years 864-867, or per the Russian historian Vasiliev on 18 June 860. The Russian Primary Chronicle of Saint Nestor notes this miraculous deliverance following the all-night vigil and the dipping of the garment of the Mother of God into the waters of the sea at the Blakhernae church, but without mention of Saints Andrew and Epiphanios and their vision of the Mother of God at prayer. These latter elements, and the beginnings of the celebrating of the feast of Pokrov, seem to postdate Saint Nestor and the Chronicle. A further historical complication might be noted under the 2 October entry for Saint Andrew – that of his demise in the year 936. Either this year of death might not be quite reliable, or that he survived into quite extreme old age after the vision of his youth, or that his vision involved some historically later pagan-Russian raid which met with the same fate. The below suggestion likewise that the Saint Andrew of the vision was a Slav (or a Skyth per other sources, such as S. V. Bulgakov) – is a nice touch, but not necessarily chauvinism: the extent of historical South Slavic penetration and re-population into Greece is the stuff of scholarly disputes].      In the Prologue, a Russian book of the XII Century, is contained a description about the establishing of the special feastday in honour of this event: "For lo, when we heard, – we realised, how wondorus and merciful was the vision and moreover an expectation and intercession on our behalf, without celebration... and it transpired, that Thy holy Pokrov-Protection should not remain without festal-celebration, O Ever-Blessed One!". Wherefore in the festal celebration of the Divine-services to the Pokrov-Protection of the Mother of God, the Russian Church intones: " With the choirs of the Angels, O Sovereign Lady, with the venerable and glorious prophets, with the First-Ranked Apostles and with the PriestMartyrs and Sainted-hierarchs pray Thou for us sinners, glorifying the feast of Thine Protection in the Russian Land". And moreover, it would seem that Saint Andrew, contemplating the miraculous vision, was a Slav, taken captive and at Constantinople given over into slavery to the local inhabitant named Theognost.      Churches in honour of the Pokrov-Protection of the Mother of God appeared in Russia in the XII Century. Widely known on its architectural merit is the temple of the Pokrov at Nerla, which was built in the year 1165 by holy Prince Andrei Bogoliubsky. Through the efforts of this holy prince was also established in the Russian Church the feast itself, the Pokrov-Protection of the Mother of God, in about the year 1164. At Novgorod in the XII Century there existed a monastery of the Pokrov of the MostHoly Mother of God (the so-called Zverinsk monastery); at Moscow also under tsar Ivan the Terrible was built the cathedral of the Pokrov of the Mother of God at the church of the Holy Trinity (known as the church of Saint Basil the Great).      On the feast of the Pokrov-Protection of the MostHoly Mother of God we implore the defense and assist of the Queen of Heaven: "Remember us in Thine prayers, O Lady Virgin Mother of God, that we perish not by the increase of our sins, protect us from every evil and from grievous woes; for on Thee do we hope, and venerating the feast of Thine Pokrov, Thee do we magnify".

© 1996-2001 by translator Fr. S. Janos.

ICON:  The Gerbovetsk  

 The Gerbovetsk Icon of the MostHoly Mother of God was acknowledge as wonderworking in the year 1859, but even before this it was especially revered by believers of Kishinev diocese. According to tradition, this image was brought to the Gerbovetsk monastery in the year 1790

.© 1996-2001 by translator Fr. S. Janos.

Hebrews 9:1-7 

1Then indeed, even the first covenant had ordinances of divine service and the earthly sanctuary. 2 For a tabernacle was prepared: the first part, in which was the lampstand, the table, and the showbread, which is called the sanctuary; 3 and behind the second veil, the part of the tabernacle which is called the Holiest of All, 4 which had the golden censer and the ark of the covenant overlaid on all sides with gold, in which were the golden pot that had the manna, Aaron's rod that budded, and the tablets of the covenant; 5 and above it were the cherubim of glory overshadowing the mercy seat. Of these things we cannot now speak in detail. 6 Now when these things had been thus prepared, the priests always went into the first part of the tabernacle, performing the services.7 But into the second part the high priest went alone once a year, not without blood, which he offered for himself and for the people's sins committed in ignorance.

Luke 10:38-42; 11:27-28 

38 Now it happened as they went that He entered a certain village; and a certain woman named Martha welcomed Him into her house. 39 And she had a sister called Mary, who also sat at Jesus' feet and heard His word. 40 But Martha was distracted with much serving, and she approached Him and said, "Lord, do You not care that my sister has left me to serve alone? Therefore tell her to help me." 41 And Jesus answered and said to her, "Martha, Martha, you are worried and troubled about many things. 42 But one thing is needed, and Mary has chosen that good part, which will not be taken away from her. 27 And it happened, as He spoke these things, that a certain woman from the crowd raised her voice and said to Him, "Blessed is the womb that bore You, and the breasts which nursed You!" 28But He said, "More than that, blessed are those who hear the word of God and keep it!"

Easter Thursday

Liturgical Year: Easter Thursday by Dom Gueranger, 1908

For to this end Christ died and rose again; that He might be Lord both of the dead and of the living.–Romans 14: 9

This is the day which the Lord hath made: let us be glad and rejoice therein.

After having glorified the Lamb of God, and the Passover whereby our Lord destroyed our enemies; after having celebrated our deliverance by water, and our entrance into the Promised Land; let us now fix our respectful gaze upon Him whose triumph is prefigured by all these prodigies. So dazzling is the glory that now beams from this Man-God, that, like the prophet of Patmos, we shall fall prostrate before Him. But He is so wonderful, too, in His love, that He will encourage us to enjoy the grand vision: He will say to us, as He did to His disciple: Fear not! I am the First, and the Last; and alive, and was dead; and behold! I am living for ever and ever, and have the keys of death and of hell (Apoc. i. 17, 18.).'

Yes, He is now Master of death, which had held Him captive; He holds in His hand the keys of hell. These expressions of Scripture signify, that He has power over death and the tomb; He has conquered them. Now, the first use He makes of His victory, is to make us partakers of it. Let us adore His infinite goodness; and, in accordance with the wish of holy Church, let us meditate to-day upon the effects wrought in each one of ourselves by the mystery of the Pasch. Jesus says to His beloved disciple: ‘I am alive, and was dead': the day will come, when we, also, shall triumphantly say: ‘We are living, and we were dead!'

Death awaits us; it is daily advancing towards us; we cannot escape its vengeance. ‘The wages of sin, is death (Rom. vi. 23)': in these few words of Scripture, we are taught how death is not only universal, but even necessary; for we have all sinned. This, however, does not make the law less severe; nor can we help seeing a frightful disorder in the violent separation of soul and body, which were united together by God Himself. If we would truly understand death, we must remember that God made man immortal: this will explain the instinctive dread we have of death,–a dread which one thing alone can conquer; and that is, the spirit of sacrifice. In the death, then, of each one of us there is the handiwork of sin, and consequently a victory won by satan: nay, there would be a humiliation for our Creator Himself, were it not that, by sentencing us to this punishment, He satisfied His justice.

This is man's well-merited, but terrible, condemnation. What can he hope for? Never to die? It would be folly: the sentence is clear, and none may escape. Can he hope that this body, which is to become first a corpse, and then be turned into a mere handful of dust, will one day return to life, and be reunited to the soul, for which it was made? But, who could bring about the reunion of an immortal substance with one that was formerly united with it, but has now seemingly been annihilated? And yet, O man! this is to be thy lot! Thou shalt rise again; that poor body of thine, which is to die, to be buried, forgotten, and humbled, shall be restored to life. Yea, it even now comes forth from the tomb, in the person of our Lord Jesus Christ; our future resurrection is accomplished in His; it is to-day that we are made as sure of our resurrection as we are of our death. This, too, makes part of our glorious Feast, our Pasch!

God did not, at the beginning, reveal this miracle of His power and goodness: all He said to Adam was: ‘In the sweat of thy face shalt thou eat bread, till thou return to the earth, out of which thou wast taken; for dust thou art, and into dust thou shalt return (Gen. iii. 19).' Not a word, not an allusion, which gives the culprit the least hope with reference to that portion of himself which is thus doomed to death and the grave. It was fitting that the ungrateful pride, which had led man to rebel against his Maker, should be humbled. Later on the great mystery was revealed, at least partially. Four thousand years ago, a poor sufferer, whose body was covered with ulcers, spoke these words of hope: ‘I know that my Redeemer liveth, and in the last day I shall rise out of the earth. And I shall be clothed again with my skin, and in my flesh I shall see God: this my hope is laid up in my bosom (Job, xix. 25-27).'

But, in order that Job's hope might be realized, this Redeemer, of whom he spoke, had to come down to this earth, give battle to death, feel its pang, and finally conquer it. He came at the time fixed by the divine decree. He came, not indeed to prevent us from dying, (for the sentence of God's justice was absolute) but to die Himself, and so take away from death its bitterness and humiliation. Like to those devoted physicians, who have been known to inoculate themselves with the virus of contagion, our Jesus ‘swallowed down death (I.St. Pet. iii. 22)', as the Apostle forcibly expresses it. But the enemy's joy was soon at an end; for the Man-God rose to die no more; and by His Resurrection, He won that same right for us.

Henceforth, then, we must see the grave under a new aspect. The earth will receive our bodies, but only to yield them back again, just as she yields back the hundredfold of the seed that was confided to her. Her great Creator will, at some future day, bid her restore the deposit He entrusted to her. The Archangel's trumpet will give the signal of His command; and, in the twinkling of an eye, the whole human race will rise up from the grave, and proclaim the final defeat of death. For the just it will be a Pasch, a continuation of the Pasch we are now celebrating.

Who could describe the joy we shall experience at such a meeting! Our soul, after, it may be, a separation of hundreds of years, united once more to that essential part of her being, the body! She, perhaps, has been all that time enjoying the beatific vision; but the whole man was not there; our happiness was not complete, because that of the body was wanting; and in the midst of the soul's rapturous felicity, there was a trace still left of the punishment to which man was condemned, when our First Parents sinned. Our merciful God would not, now that His Son has opened the gates of heaven, wait till the general resurrection to reward the souls of His elect with the vision; and yet, these elect have not their whole glory and happiness until that last day comes and puts the last finish to the mystery of man's redemption. Jesus, our King and our Head, wills that we His members shall sing with Him the song that comes from His own divine lips, and that each of us shall say for all eternity: ‘I am living, and I was dead !' Mary, who on the third day after her death was united to her sinless body, longs to see her devoted children united with her in heaven; but wholly, and entirely, soul and body: and this will be, when the tomb has done its work of purification.

The holy Angels, whose ranks are waiting to be filled up by the elect among men, are affectionately looking forward to that happy day, when the glorified bodies of the just will spring up, like the loveliest of earth's flowers, to beautify the land of spirits. One of their joys consists in gazing upon the resplendent Bodies of Jesus and Mary,–of Jesus, who, even as Man, is their King as well as ours, and of Mary, whom they reverence as their Queen. What a Feastday, then, will they count that, whereon we, their brothers and sisters, whose souls have been long their companions in bliss, shall be revested with the robe of flesh, sanctified, and fitted for union with our radiant souls! What a canticle of fresh joy will ring through heaven, as it then receives within itself all the grandeur and beauty of creation! The Angels who were present at Jesus' Resurrection, were filled with admiration at the sight of this Body, which was, indeed, of a lower nature than themselves, but whose dazzling glory exceeded all the splendour of the angelic host together: will they not gladly hail our arrival, after our resurrection? Will they not welcome us with fraternal congratulations, when they see us, members as we are of this same risen Jesus, clad in the same gorgeous robe of glory as He, who is their God?

The sensual man never gives a thought to the eternal glory and happiness of the body: he acknowledges the Resurrection of the flesh as an article of faith, but it is not an object of his hope. He cares but for the present; material, carnal pleasures being all he aspires to, he considers his body as an instrument of self gratification, which, as it lasts so short a time, must be the more quickly used. There is no respect in the love he bears to his body; hence he fears not to defile it; and after a few years of insult, which he calls enjoyment, it becomes the food of worms and corruption. And yet, this sensual man accuses the Church of being an enemy to the body! the Church that so eloquently proclaims its dignity, and the glorious destiny that awaits it! He is the tyrant, and a tyrant is ever an impudent calumniator. The Church warns us of the dangers to which the body exposes the soul; she tells us of the infectious weakness that came to the flesh by original sin; she instructs us as to the means we should employ for making it ‘serve justice unto sanctification (Rom. ri. 19)'; but, far from forbidding us to love the body, she reveals to us a truth which should incite us to true charity, viz: that it is destined to endless glory and happiness.

When laid on the bed of death, the Church honours it with the Sacrament of Extreme Unction, fitting it for immortality by anointing it with holy oil; she is present at the departure of the soul from this the companion of her combats, and from which she is to be separated till the day of the general judgment; she respectfully burns incense over the body when dead; for, from the hour of its Baptism, she has regarded it as something holy ; and to the surviving friends of the departed one, she addresses these inspired words of consolation: ‘Be not sorrowful, even as others, who have no hope (I. Thess. iv. 12)!' But what is this hope? That same which comforted Job: ‘In my flesh, I shall see my God.' Thus does our holy faith reveal to us the future glory of our body; thus does it encourage, by supernatural motives, the instinctive love borne by the soul for this essential portion of our being. It unites together the two dogmas: our Lord's Pasch, and the resurrection of our body. The Apostle assures us of the close relation that exists between them, and says: ‘If Christ be not risen again, your faith is vain; if the dead rise not again, neither is Christ risen again: (I. Cor. xv. 14, 17)' so that Jesus' Resurrection and our resurrection seem to be parts of one and the same truth.

Hence, the sort of forgetfulness, which is now-a-days so common, of this important dogma of the ‘resurrection of the body,' is a sad proof of the decay of lively faith. Such people believe in a future resurrection, for the Creed is too explicit to leave room for doubt; but the hope which Job had, is seldom the object of their thoughts or desires. They say that what they are anxious about, both for themselves and for those that are dear to them, is what will become of the soul, after this life: they do well to look to this; but, they should not forget what religion teaches them regarding the resurrection of the body; by professing it, they not only have a fresh incentive to virtue, but they also render testimony to the Resurrection of Jesus, whereby He gained victory over death, both for Himself and for us. They should remember, that they are in this world only to confess, by their words and actions, the truths that God has revealed. It is therefore not enough that they believe in the immortality of the soul; the resurrection of the body must also be believed and professed.

We find this article of our holy faith continually represented in the catacombs: its several symbols formed, together with the Good Shepherd, quite the favourite subject of primitive Christian art. In those early ages of the Church, when to receive Baptism was to break entirely with the sensuality of previous habits of life, this consoling dogma of the resurrection of the body was strongly urged upon the minds of the neophytes. Any of them might be called upon to suffer martyrdom: the thought of the future glory that awaited their flesh, inspired them with courage when the hour of trial came. Thus we read so very frequently in the Acts of the Martyrs, how, when in the midst of their most cruel torments, they declared that what supported them was the certain hope of the resurrection of the body. How many Christians are there now-a-days, who are cowardly in the essential duties of their state of life, simply because they never think of this important dogma of their faith!

The soul is more than the body; but the body is an essential portion of our being. It is our duty to treat it with great respect, because of its sublime destiny. If we, at present, chastise it and keep it in subjection, it is because its present state requires such treatment. We chastise it, because we love it. The Martyrs, and all the Saints, loved their body far more than does the most sensual voluptuary: they, by sacrificing it, saved it; he, by pampering it, exposes it to eternal suffering. Let us be on our guard: sensualism is akin to naturalism. Sensualism will have it, that there is no happiness for the body but such as this present life can give; and, with this principle, its degradation causes no remorse. Naturalism is that propensity we have to judge of everything by mere natural light, whereas we cannot possibly know the glorious future for which God has created us except by faith. If, therefore, the Christian can see what the Son of God has done for our bodies by the divine Resurrection we are now celebrating, and feel neither love nor hope, he may be sure that his faith is weak; and if he would not lose his soul, let him henceforth be guided by the word of God, which alone can teach him what he is now, and what he is called to be hereafter.

DW s12e10: It's Quite Unfortunate That This Child Keeps On Regenerating

It's only fitting that the first post on a blog called "SciFinal" should be about a season finale.

Not that fitting is the fact that in said post I'm going to begin where it all started for me.

Part One: How I Even Got into This Mess of a Show in the First Place

While I call myself a huge Doctor Who fan, even a – *gasp* – Whovian, I must admit I am not as familiar with the franchise as I would like to be; I've seen the new show, I've seen Torchwood (though, admittedly, I had to force myself to finish the fourth season – but that's a story for another day), I've listened to a handful of audio dramas (including Kaldor City, which I consider to be canon for both DW and Blake's 7) – mostly Torchwood audio dramas, but who cares, – I've read a couple of comics, I've got a novel or two somewhere on my bookshelf, I've seen the first couple of seasons of the classic show, but that's about it. I can't say I grew up with it – it wasn't on TV when I was a kid, there isn't an official Ukrainian dub, et cetera, et cetera. I first heard about it when I was about thirteen, when my classmate did a project about something they liked – and was pretty dismissive of my peers' hobbies at the time, believing myself to be somewhat above them, so I didn't pay much attention.

Then somebody finally pressured me into watching it (I believe I was fifteen or something back then) and I loved it. The first two episodes of the first season, I mean. I watched those, texted my friend something like "consider me a Whovian now!" and abandoned the show completely only to return to it maybe several years later.

I loved it. This time, for real.

Doctor Who has been with me ever since that time, it has a big soft spot reserved for each and every Doctor ever in my heart, and for each and every companion. I know full well it's cheesy, and it's stupid, and it's technobabble-y, and it's glorious in all of its cheesy technobabble-y stupidity.

And I hate this finale.

Part Two: Doctor, Why

I hate this finale – because I hate Chris Chibnall. Mind you, not the gentleman himself (I don't even know what he looks like, and I can't be bothered to Google), I hate what he did to Doctor Who.

Now, when it was revealed that the would replace Steven Moffat I felt... nothing. What did you expect? I had no idea who the man was. I know now he's made Broadchurch, and I know he wrote a bunch of stuff for Torchwood back in the day, including Cyberwoman. I had to drop Broadchurch because of how well-handled the depressing atmosphere was, and I love the flawed, dumb, sexy-cyber-bikinied, almost-fifteen-minutes-of-Ianto's-whining-including (I know because some time ago I literally cut almost every single moment of Gareth David-Lloyd whimpering, moaning, groaning, screaming, and mugging at the camera out of the episode and made those bits and pieces into a beautiful clip show called "I HATE THIS" to explain exactly why his face was and still is so punchable) mindless fun that is Cyberwoman (this is also one of the two episodes in which they actually do something fun with the pterodactyl living inside Torchwood's underground base). The latter also led to the creation of one amazing in how it develops Ianto's character audio drama entitled "Broken". I love Broken. I am now forcing you to look at its cover because of how much I love it.

Here we go. Now, back to the point of me rambling pointlessly

In his video "Sherlock Is Garbage, and Here's Why", a well-known YouTuber hbomberguy pointed out how Steven Moffat's problem is that he is more than capable of writing a good one-off episodes, but ultimately fails at managing multiple complex, overarching stories, as visible when you look at the difference between Moffat's individual episodes and his run on the show.

Now, I believe that Chris Chibnall suffers from the same affliction: he's a good screenwriter but a terrible, terrible showrunner. Sure, he's made Broadchurch, but Broadchurch, in its essence, was a complete singular story with a beginning, a middle, and an end. There were no bigger, incomplete arcs expanding at the expense of other episodes, and the show did exactly what it was originally designed to do: it told an uninterrupted story.

Here comes Chris Chibnall's run on Doctor Who.

Now, while Steven Moffat was ultimately not very good at managing overarching stories, he tried to do so nonetheless, and the fans seemed to like his attempts. And while I can't be sure as to whether it was Chris' original vision for the show or he and his co-writers were merely trying to emulate Moffat, he attempted the same. A friend of mine has even pointed out how, to her, it was painfully obvious how the writers of the finale were desperately trying to copy Moffat's style (to give you some context, she grasped it from a 30-second clip of the CyberMasters' reveal, and that clip basically consisted of me filming my laptop's screen and laughing at their design, making the video wobbly and the audio distorted). At the time of writing this post this friend hasn't seen a single episode of Chibnall's era and, as far as I know, has no wish to do so – mainly because of two reasons that both have something to do with the finale:

Somebody's already spoiled it for her, so who cares;

I ranted to her about how shit this finale is and now she hates everything about Chibnall era.

I am very sorry for the latter, since I genuinely believe there are some nice episodes in these seasons, and I especially like the "historical" ones, they really are quite a lot of fun, I like Nikola Tesla and Thomas Edison fighting badly CG-ed alien scorpions, I love Lord Byron and Mary Shelley running around a haunted house trying to escape from a Cyberman (even though it's all too similar to the Agatha Christie episode from Russel T Davies' run), I adore that episode about Rosa P–– oh, wait, no, that one was crap and ripped off Blake's 7... Anyway, I love Jodie Whittaker's Doctor, I am a big fan of Graham, I like Ryan just fine, and I can put up with Yaz, even though it's been two seasons and I've still got no idea what's her personality supposed to be, and I absolutely love the new Master (he reminds me of a cute little pug with a big Tommy gun). There is plenty of good stuff in these two seasons, they are lots of fun to watch, but this finale... Oh god, this finale.

Part Three: We Had All of Time and Space at Our Fingertips and We Ended Up with This

We are getting to the point of this whole thing. I would love to begin with the obvious, the twist, but there's so much wrong with this who-cares-how-many-parter than this one big thing.

It is inept. It is impotent. It is incompetent. It is bad at almost everything except its okay camera work, somewhat good (for a British TV show, I mean) effects, and its really solid performances.

Its editing is tone-deaf to the extreme. There is a moment in the final episode where Ko Sharmas asks who will be the first to cross the Boundary and step into the unknown, and immediately it cuts to Yaz walking towards it, all fast and silent. I would love to show you a clip of it, but I don't have one and I can't force myself to download the episode and sit through this shitshow again just to present you with a ten-second clip. Nonetheless, that part is not edited like a dramatic moment. You edit comedies this way. Bad comedies. Bad editors edit bad comedies this way.

Its plot is incoherent. There are several plot threads in this finale, and they're managed in a way that doesn't make the viewer care about all of them at the same time, rather the viewer goes "oh, I've completely forgotten this was happening" and then, before they can even begin to care, the show cuts to something else. It's all over the place and oh so annoying.

The plot armour is painfully obvious despite every attempt to disguise it. There wasn't a single, solitary second when I believed the Doctor was really going to sacrifice herself and, lo and behold, here comes the old guy ex machina to do it for her. The only questions I was asking at that moment were "How are the writers going to prevent the Doctor's death now that they've seemingly created themselves a way to go on forever?" and "How can Whittaker care so much about her performance in this scene she's literally almost crying?". I wholeheartedly related to the Master asking "So why are we still here?" and shout–– hiss–– mumbl–– whatever-ing "Come on, come on, come on!" – at that point I've suffered through at least forty-five minutes of utter nonsense, people going preachy, religious Cybermen with Dalek motivations, that absolutely ludicrous scene in the previous episode when the show was trying its worst to make me perceive autonomous flying Cyber-heads with laser eyes as a serious threat, a shit twist and... Oh.

I've got to finally touch on the shit twist, haven't I?

It doesn't make sense. No, I mean it. I guess it makes sense from the show's writers' standpoint to retcon everything in a way that would allow them to go on forever without having to come up with a way to circumvent limited regenerations, yes. And I won't be touching upon all the lore people say this twist has ruined. No. It doesn't make sense as it is.

The twist is revealed to us by a madman that claims to have hacked into a database, claims to possess control over the Doctor's mind, and gives the Doctor and the audience no actual solid proof that the Timeless Child is, indeed, the Doctor. We have Ruth, sure, and she's nice enough (damn, I want that vest), and she's a Timelord that happens to own a TARDIS that looks like a blue police telephone box, and she calls herself the Doctor. Here's Ruth:

I really like Ruth. She also makes no sense from the show's timeline standpoint, since the Doctor's Type 40 TARDIS only got stuck looking like a police box in 1963, so there's no reason for the Doctor to not remember being her.

We also know that the Judoon have identified Ruth as "the Fugitive"... except in one of their previous appearances in the show they weren't able to identify their targets exactly and thus were seeking out non-humans. There is a possibility that they were only looking for a Time Lord on Earth.

You know what? It's possible that Ruth is actually the Master messing with the Doctor. I have just as much proof of this as I have of the fact that the Doctor is some kind of an endlessly regenerating superbeing.

But this is not the most maddening thing here. I loathe it, but I don't loathe the twist itself: I loathe its lifelessness, I loathe how empty, how unemotional, almost robotic it feels. When somebody'd spoiled the finale for me, I got angry, and I started asking questions, and when later I saw the actual thing...

This gif. I can't even explain how accurate it is. I stood there, in the middle of my kitchen, episode paused, holding a cup of cold tea and desperately looking around as if in my surroundings I could somehow find that emotional reaction that this show failed to evoke. I was ready to burst into tears of how empty it felt, and how empty I felt, and how the same show that has Christopher Eccleston go from literally foaming at the mouth with pure hatred to shocked silence in a matter of second because of one sentence that you, a viewer, can't help but be astonished by failed to make me feel the tiniest speck of literally any emotion. And slowly, I felt that vast void in my chest fill with sheer, pure, flaming hatred for the person who made me feel nothing, for the story that left me not bored – but empty.

And the next moment, in its own unique way of being absolutely tone-deaf, the show introduces the CyberMasters, looking ridiculous, being asinine in concept, making me burst into laughter with their dumb design. Wow.

So.

Chris Chibnall's Doctor Who is no longer a show. Chris Chibnall's Doctor Who isn't even, as somebody on Stardust said, a fan fiction. It's a rollercoaster. A lackluster rollercoaster that lifts you from the vast caverns of frozen hell, devoid of any life whatsoever, soulless and abandoned, to the heavenly torture of being so bad, so utterly awful and ridiculous, that you can't help but laugh as you watch something you used to love be distorted and deformed to the point where you can't recognise it anymore nor really care. This is what Chris Chibnall's Doctor Who has become. And I'm going to continue my ride on that grotesque rollercoaster. I'm going to pirate that ride and get on it again. Because I'm a masochist. Because I want to feel something, even if it's hatred towards those that make me feel nothing.

Because some time ago my fifteen-year-old self watched the first season and learned a lesson that I hold dear after all these years – that I can't abandon hope, and that someday, somehow, things are going to get better. That the future is being written right now. That the future can change.

RWBY:Ragnarok or predictions on the Atlas arc

Building on my previous post about how the RWBY arcs parallel seasons and the archetypal narrative structure linked to each season, I’ve established that Atlas corresponds to winter, aka themes of darkness, dissolution, the return of chaos, and the defeat of the heroic figure, but what I’m going to be developing here is how winter is linked to Götterdämmerung myths, a.k.a Ragnarok, otherwise known as the death of the gods in Norse mythology. So yes, Atlas is definitely a Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Time for our heroes.

The thing is, that isn’t the only Norse mythology allusion tied to Atlas, be it the cast, the location or the events of Ragnarok itself. This post will be about delving into all of these allusions and find how Ragnarok’s narrative beats find equivalents in RWBY and how it might help predict the Atlas endgame (or at least part of it) as well as figure out some general plot points.

But before that, I feel like you need to familiarize yourself with the G.U.N theory (though I don’t know if I’m 100% in the scope of it with this post). I think the person that best explained it in a concise way would be @alexkablob in this post but basically the nitty gritty of it is that all RWBY characters aren’t allusions to a single myth but have layers of different allusions to several myths, and decoding them makes it possible to predict the beats of their narrative. Think v6 made it all too obvious with how Adam was Prince Adam (a.k.a the Beast before any character development or growth), the Rose curse and Gaston all wrapped in one (plus some references to Anakin Skywalker too apparently!); or how Yang is Goldilocks, Beauty and the Beast simultaneously (amongst others).

So characters that you know are allusions to a certain myth/fairytale, might have allusions to other ones, less obvious but still just as significant in determining that character’s fate and their overarching character arc, and the Atlas arc of the story is just full of these other allusions, all Norse mythology themed.

I’ll start with the allusions tied to the central figure of Atlas’ plot, aka the man himself, James Ironwood, then branch out on the connected cast’s allusions and how they’d fill their respective roles in Atlas’ version of Ragnarok.

So, as we all know James Ironwood is supposed to be our Tinman from the wizard of Oz. Thing is Ironwood also refers to a location in Norse mythology, Járnviðr (literally old Norse for Iron-wood), where a witch gives birth to giant wolves that are alluded to as Fenrir’s kin, one of them in particular being dubbed snatcher of the moon, who will swallow the moon come Ragnarok.

Before delving deeper into this, who is Fenrir?

Fenrir is a monstrous wolf who’s bound until comes Ragnarok, where he breaks free, wreaks havoc on the realm of the gods, and kills Odin, the patriarch of the Norse mythology pantheon and one of its most powerful figures.

I’m gonna go ahead and assume that CRWBY will merge all the monstrous apocalyptic wolf figures into one because that’s the decision that makes the most sense, and I’m gonna refer to it as Fenrwby to differentiate it from the original Fenrir (listen I couldn’t come up with anything else).

So now we’ve established that Atlas harbors or will get invaded by this giant wolf, Fenrir, who announces the apocalypse and swallows the moon.

Damn, I wonder which character is always closely associated to moon symbolism, incidentally also alluding to a tale called Dead Moon (again @alexkablob got you covered) and whose death circumstances are still a mystery till now?

That’s right I think Fenrwby will be confirmed to be the reason Summer died. Another point that absolutely convinces me of it is that he(it?) refers to. A gigantic evil wolf. Or you could say. A Big Bad Wolf. And guess where Little Red Riding Hood is headed right now?

But before eating Little Red Riding Hood, the Wolf eats the grandmother first.

Yeah, this might very well be the last time Maria’s making the trip to Atlas.

But let’s go back to Ironwood. There’s yet another allusion to him and that’s the Norse god Tyr. Tyr was a war god, but also presided over law and justice, which aligns with Ironwood being leader of the military, headmaster and even has the Council (which I assume is executive and judicial power) bow to him.

Tyr’s most striking act and for which he’s most known though is that he’s sacrificed his arm when the gods first bound Fenrir, the arm the wolf bit off being the right one, and lo and behold:

James Ironwood is indeed missing a right arm (well a whole right side because he’s also Tinman, but you get me). From this we can already surmise that the mission Summer was sent over to was probably the containment of Fenrwby, and it cost Summer her life and Ironwood his right side.

That leaves us with one question: who/what is Fenrwby and where did he come from?

We’ll have to go back to the original myth for a bit here. In Norse Mythology, the trickster god Loki fathers three children with a giantess:  Hel, a woman that becomes a sort of queen of the Underworld, the world serpent Jörmungandr and the world wolf Fenrir. All three siblings are prophesied to be big trouble to the gods but what sets Fenrir apart is that:

He’s the one foretold to announce Ragnarok; his unbidding decides it

He’s the one destined to swallow Odin himself whole

He’s the only “hellish” sibling who’s raised right where the gods live, in Asgard

Beyond the similarity in how the names sound, I do believe Atlas’ design takes after Asgard and is meant to symbolize it.

For further reference here’s Marvel’s take on Asgard:

And here’s our first look at Atlas:

Atlas even has those threads attached to Mantle below which I suspect act as anchors + elevators/transportation conducts (most of it probably dedicated to Dust transport) between Mantle and Atlas, but also are a visual reference to Yggdrasil's roots, the Norse world tree, extending from Asgard to the other realms below.

So Fenrir is raised right in Asgard, but the wee pup is growing at an alarming rate (plus is prophesied to destroy all of it) so none of the gods is keen on approaching him. None except one brave god that is the only one to get close and feed him. And who would that be? That’s right, Tyr a.k.a our basis for Ironwood.

Ironwood hosting and hand-rearing a monster that will ultimately cause Summer’s death and the Atlaspocalypse sounds extremely unlikely, but there’s one scenario where this makes sense.

Atlas is known for its technological advancement and its constant development of new weaponry. I believe Fenrwby was born out of such a project, under the general leadership of Ironwood, but someone must have taken the experiments too far and ended up creating something so terrible Summer Rose herself (and maybe all or a combination of the remaining STRQ team), a silver-eyed warrior, had to be dispatched to neutralize, dying in the process.

Now is the time to remember that Fenrir is Loki’s son. In the original myth, Loki, an Asgardian god, gets eventually banished and during Ragnarok sides with the enemies.

So we’re basically looking for a disgraced Atlesian, who was possibly a scientist and is now currently working with the enemy.

And here is our Loki, none other than Arthur Watts himself, whose fallout with Atlas is yet to be explained.

I believe the reason he left Atlas was because he’s the one responsible for Fenrwby’s creation and in its immediate fallout, evaded arrest.

Another reason that leads me to believe Watts is our Loki is that Loki’s ties to Hel, Norse queen of the underworld, who was described to be “half-black and half flesh-colored”, which is a dead ringer for Salem.

Arthur Watts’ name also seems to refer to Arthur Conan Doyle and John Watson, the first one being the creator of Sherlock Holmes and the latter his dutiful companion and side-kick, so I believe Watts might be a combination of (evil) Sherlock and Watson. This is further supported with how Watts’ appearance seems to be a blend of both (Watson is described as tan, with a strong build and a moustache and Sherlock as tall and lean) and his outfit being Victorian-era inspired. He is referred to as Doctor by Salem, first to affirm his status as fallen scientist from Atlas but also most likely as a nod to Watson who was a skilled doctor and often would be referred to as Doctor as well. Sherlock Holmes is known to be an emotionally detached analytical machine with a caustic (and at times callous) kind of humor, having a usually dispassionate and cold demeanor, all of which match what we see of Watts. How is this linked to our Ragnarok? Well one of Sherlock Holmes’ most well-known stories, one where incidentally Watson has a very proactive and prominent role, is the Hound of the Baskervilles. The story is itself based on the legend of a “monstrously evil man” who sold his soul to the Devil (Salem) and after his death led a pack of phantom, evil hounds.

Evil hounds, monstrous wolves...Watts always gets linked to big bad canidae one way or the other.

Which brings us to our next question: now that we know who made Fenrwby, what exactly is Fenrwby?

Ok so this is the part where the theory gets tentative because there isn't much to go off of, so bear with me.

Watts is partly based on Sherlock Holmes, who is indifferent and detached usually, unless he's in the midst of an investigation. He then turns driven, getting tunnel-visioned and borderline obsessed (he can even go without food for so long he faints) until he solves the mystery. I think Watts is much the same. He carries himself with cool composure mostly but there was one instance where he showed a sort of zealous fascination: when he saw the seer Grimm.

Ok so I have an inkling that Watts is fascinated by the Grimm, and his forbidden experiments involved Grimm creatures. This is further supported by the Baskerville allusion to a pack of phantom hounds, which could very well reference the Grimm.

So going off this, Watts experimented on Grimm - since Atlas is very much wolf-themed, maybe Beowolfs? - and out of them he made Fenrwby.

But what could possibly be combined to Grimm in a way that’d defeat the combined forces of Ironwood (whose entire right side got severed) and an experienced silver eyed warrior like Summer?

I think we can make an educated guess based off the two major technological breakthroughs we got to witness during V1-3, namely Penny, the first synthetic being able to generate aura and the aura transfer machine. You’ll have guessed it, I think Atlas was dabbling into aura experimentation and Watts rerouted it to his own Grimm endeavors. What if he succeeded in equipping Grimm with something similar to Aura? Something that would hijack the Silver Eyes. I’m just bouncing ideas here but I’m pretty sure Fenrwby is the result of Watts tinkering with Aura and Grimm, and I think Watts staying with Salem is in large part because she’s the crystallization of the divide that fascinates him, being both human (having a soul, so in theory having aura) and grimm. Salem is the long running case study Watts is pursuing in a way.

So. Now that we’ve established what Fenrwby might be and who is behind it, we can delve into the narrative beats of Ragnarok. I made a synthetic list of Ragnarok events that seem relevant and connect to RWBY as a narrative:

Fenrir swallows Odin

I think Ozpin having Odin references in his character is common knowledge enough in the fandom. Odin is the king of Asgard, is associated with wisdom, knowledge and sorcery amongst other things, and is known for having two raven familiars (Raven and Qrow), all of which fit Ozpin.

What could Odin being swallowed mean for Oz and Oscar?

Of course, this could simply be an indication of Oz/Oscar fighting Fenrwby with Ruby, and losing.

But we can take it further. Oz lives inside Oscar through the merge between their souls, their auras connecting. We’ve established Atlas has been studying and experimenting on aura; Watts has most probably even toed the line of what is morally acceptable in terms of experiments. What if Fenrwby, or one of the machines Watts has been “tinkering with”, is able to sever the connection, effectively trapping Ozpin’s soul or at least sending it in another reincarnation cycle? This is a reach, I’ll admit, but something about Odin being swallowed somehow does not bode well for Ozpin.

Thor fights Jörmungandr

Can’t talk about Norse mythology without talking about Thor! And incidentally we have someone in the main cast based off him. I’ve always found it weird how V4 gives Ren a comprehensive backstory but never an explanation for how Nora is just there, beyond “random Kuroyuri orphan”  (How did she get orphaned? Why was she in Kuroyuri? Who were her parents?). I think Nora’s backstory will be fully explained in Atlas as I have a feeling Weiss isn’t the only one coming home. Thor’s home is Asgard after all.

So Thor fights the giant serpent that is Loki’s other son and Fenrir’s brother. One of Jörmungandr’s most striking features is his venom, as he’s described spraying it through air and sea, and it’s how he kills Thor even as he’s slayed by him, poisoning the god to his death.

Our Jörmungadr equivalent thus needs to wield poison, and be sired (or fixed) by Loki aka Watts. That would be Tyrian.

I believe we’ll have the second round of Team JNR vs Tyrian - as foreshadowed by Tyrian’s interest in Jaune - and it’ll end with Tyrian dying and Nora being gravely wounded.

The frost giants join the fray against the gods

I’ve already expanded on this in my previous post, but Jack Frost, Jacques’ fairy tale basis, is said to be based on the norse frost giants. This, coupled with the “Jack and the beanstalk” references, pushes me to think Jacques is going to betray and cause the death of Ironwood and help team W.T.C.H steal the relic.

Gamr, another big hellish hound, kills Tyr

Gamr is another monstrous hound who breaks free of his bindings in Ragnarok. As I said before, I believe all hounds/wolf imagery is going to be compounded in a single entity in RWBY (especially when they sometimes share identical characteristics), so this is Fenrwby getting free of whatever binding Summer put him under (maybe the Silver Eye power petrified him the way Ruby did the giant Nevermore?) and killing Ironwood.

Surtr, a fire giant from Muspelheim, the realm of fire, covers the entire world with fire with his flaming sword

Surtr is a fire giant that guards Muspelheim, a hot and glowing land of fire, and who sets the world on fire with his flaming sword at the end of Ragnarok. This signals the destruction of the world, but also announces its rebirth with the surviving gods and humans meeting afterwards and leading into a new era.

So the guardian of a sword of destruction (Vacuo’s relic), coming from a hot unforgiving land (Vacuo), crashes the fight. I believe this is when the Summer maiden gets introduced, and she uses the relic to end the fight and save the thoroughly defeated team RWBY so that everyone may escape to Vacuo as Atlas’ destruction is complete.

So, to TL;DR this extremely long post:

There is a Big Bad Wolf kind of monster/entity in Atlas I’m tentatively calling Fenrwby

Watts created this monster by dabbling into forbidden experimentation, probably on aura and grimm

Summer Rose sealed said monster but at the cost of her life and the fight cost Ironwood his right side

Fenrwby is unleashed on Atlas, either by Team W.T.C.H, accidentally by Ironwood, or a combination of both

Jacques sides with W.T.C.H and helps them steal the relic

Fenrwby kills Ironwood and Maria

Oz is either defeated, sealed away from Oscar or sent in another reincarnation loop

Nora is from Atlas and we get her extended backstory

Team JNR fight Tyrian and are able to defeat him but Nora is gravely wounded

the Summer maiden arrives in a bind and with the relic of destruction ends the fight and takes team RWBY to safety

On Let’s Voltron, the showrunners, and fandom

On Thursday an interview came out on Let’s Voltron, the ostensibly final interview with the showrunners of this now-completed show. Within an hour a few tweet threads appeared and incited a new wave of hatred and anger towards the showrunners, mostly by people relying on these tweet threads rather than listening to the interview themselves.

I don’t like secondhand info that sparks outrage; and having watched both AB interviews and seen how outraged people got over them, without having seen either, I strongly suspected that this interview was nowhere near as incendiary as the tweet threads suggested.

And lo and behold, I was right. Much of what was reported in tweets was misconstrued, or lacking the additional information that listening to someone’s tone provides. I didn’t hear two snarky showrunners smugly enjoying the chaos that their truly lacklustre season provided. I heard two people who were exhausted and beaten down by both the expectations of the fandom and the limitations placed on them by people with more money and power. They didn’t call Shiro “boring”, they referred to their initial vision of him as boring. They didn’t say he was repetitive, they said his backstory was repetitive of other characters’ in the series and was cut. There was one salty comment from JDS about how Voltron and Atlas merging was cool but everyone was too bummed about s8 to appreciate it, but there’s a dark humor to it that reads to me like a man struggling to joke about something neutral and positive in a season that was poorly received by fans and many critics alike. The vast majority of the interview is not much we haven’t already heard, though there is a very telling segment that lasts about 5-10 minutes where they discuss the heavy limitations on representation in cartoons. Ezor and Zethrid were allowed to exist, they say, because they were secondary characters. And female. The words “main heroes” with an S, are repeated several times by LM when describing who was and was not allowed to be LGBT. She explicitly states that wlw is one thing, but mlm is a whole other battle.

As disappointed as I am in the mistakes JDS and LM made, I find myself feeling very defensive of them as I see the people who once defended them from ants now begin to exhibit ant-like behavior themselves. “They should never be allowed to work in animation again” says one tweet. “They never gave a shit about this show” says another. “S8 was their explicit revenge on fans.”

It makes me unbelievably sad to read this. JDS and LM made mistakes. S8 was objectively terrible. Their attempt to shoehorn in “bonus” representation backfired terribly. They’ve been upfront about Voltron never having been planned with a happy ending in mind, and buckle down hard when confronted with the notion that killing Allura was a bad move.

But as they’ve said many, many times, this show was a labor of love for them. They worked their asses off to pitch something grand to Dreamworks because they were fans of the original and wanted to do it justice. But then they got the show and proceeded to get buffeted around for 4 yrs by dreamworks and the rules of a pre-existing IP and half the story ideas they come up with get shot down by execs for any number of reasons. People have latched onto the fact that the last third of the series wasn’t properly planned from the beginning, but I’d like to remind people that the plan they had for s3-6 was completely upended by one (1) executive call. The showrunners have said that they purposefully left things out of the bible to make it harder for execs to say NO to something well in advance. They were, as my director frequently calls it, “playing the game”, the careful balance of trying to tell a good story while also pleasing the client demands for a robot toy show. It’s a fight. Part of playing the game is leaving decisions so late that it becomes far too late to be changed by executives. But the downside of this is sometimes running out of time to do the things you want to do.

I’d like to point out too that in the interview at one point they actually say, “we knew who our audience was. They [the marketing people and higher ups] didn't.” So for 4 yrs they struggled to make the story they wanted to tell, they lost directors and writers, because the demands were way too high and people were burning out and leaving in an industry where being overworked is so par for the course that burnout is just a constant state of being. In other words, it takes extreme amounts of stress for people to burn out, and there is a certain mentality in this industry of burning out being a sign of weakness. When 2/3 directors left (one of them without the safety net of another offer) they put a bit of their reputation on the line-- and left anyway. And through it all JDS and LM, like any creators, were just trying to tell the story they wanted to see, scrambling to manage executive demands, working on multiple episodes at once and trying to maintain the storyline through them, losing people to burnout, having to rewrite entire scenes when voice actors weren’t available, and fighting for the show to be better than it was. 

I'm not absolving the showrunners of guilt, I'm just feeling bad that this is where they ended up because at the end of the day they genuinely were coming from a place of good intentions and a desire to tell, from their perspective a good story. And they did fight for rep, to the point that when initially Shiro was not allowed to be gay, they considered getting up and walking away and ending the project but they stayed because of the crew who would have been summarily put out of work. They weighed the importance of having that representation vs the jobs of 100s of people. That’s how important it was to them. 

Obvious, they didn't stick the landing, and it’s fair to say they outright screwed it up in a massive way that’s going to be remembered for a very long time. On the Shiro front they didn't have time to, in a way that would have felt genuine and agreeable for everyone. Keith was never ever going to be allowed. Maybe if Shiro and Keith had both been women, it would have been, which is a sad thought on the state of this industry and the kind of gendered homophobia that still exists in media both animation and otherwise. JDS and LM didn’t think far enough ahead on this, didn’t think outside of their pool of internal knowledge as non-LGBT people. As terrible as it is, it’s important to note they did this not out of a place of malice or vengeance, but an earnest, if misguided attempt to try and diversify the landscape. It did a lot of damage and they should not be rewarded for this move; but they also shouldn’t be being painted as the mustache-twirling villains so much of the fandom tries to make them out to be.

I hope this has been a huge lesson for them on the importance of stepping outside of your own situation when creating minority characters and properly discussing these characters with multiple people in real life who fall into those categories. No one LGBT person can or should speak for the entire community, as we’ve well seen with certain crewmembers.

Killing Allura is a much harder act to forgive because that was something they had time to think about and plan for and it should have been the more obvious lesson. There was ROOM to ask someone outside of themselves, “does this work”. There was room to be educated on why this was a terrible move both socially and narratively. There is room and time now, and dozens of articles about this very issue, that both showrunners should be reading and absorbing especially as their next projects involve a host of diverse characters. Their insistence to buckle down on the Allura Issue to me reads as; they haven’t learned anything from this, or taken the time to understand people’s pain about it. This is something that desperately needs to change especially as they continue to make movies and presumably TV shows. I do hope it’s something that will.

All this to say, please listen to the interview yourself before adding to the hate mob. If you’re still angry after listening to the interview yourself, that is your prerogative but I encourage you not to transform that anger into venomous hatred against the showrunners. The show is over; as fans we can transform this space into whatever we want it to be since Voltron is effectively ours now. Is attacking the showrunners, as ant1s have famously done for years, the image we really want to hold onto going forward?

Obedience

1 Samuel 15.22

 To obey is better than sacrifice, and to heed is better than the fat of rams.'

How quick are we to obey our Lord—or how slow?

Jesus is our Lord, so shouldn't we obey Him immediately?  But our own egos often get in the way.  What does God need to do to get our attention?

Look at Balaam. He was approached by the princes of Moab, who offered to pay him to curse their enemy Israel.  Even though Balaam knew Israel was blessed by God, he went with them and  God had to use extreme measures to get his attention (see Numbers 22.4—24.25).

It is never beneficial for us to challenge God or fail to heed His instructions.  We know that God loves us and is working for our good (Romans 8.28), yet sometimes our spiritual vision is so clouded that we can't see it.

On a personal note, after a major flood that devastated the area and wiped out many factories and businesses, I was out of work for an extended period of time.  There were precious few jobs available, and one door after another was closed.  Someone suggested that I might be able to find work at 'the chicken plant', a poultry processing plant in the next county that had the reputation as a terrible place to work.  I remember my response quite clearly: 'I'd rather starve than work there!'  Is that a defiant challenge to God, or what?! Finally, desperate for work, I drove to the plant and filled out an application.  I reasoned that they hadn't advertised in the Help Wanteds for a couple of weeks, so they probably weren't hiring.  However, when I turned in the application, the secretary said, 'We need just one more person.  Can you start tomorrow?'  Aaaaarrgh!

But God had far greater plans than the chicken plant challenge.  Through that detestable job, I met and befriended the rabbis who would later write letters of recommendation for me to Kibbutz Aliyah when the Lord called me to Israel.  I later spent most of a year in Israel working for my Lord.

Do you think Jesus had all that planned ahead of time?  Of course, He did!  It was I who was dragging my heels and challenging Him to 'make me!'  But all of it had been worked out for my benefit!

There are many examples in the Bible of unquestioning obedience.

Now the LORD said to Abram, 'Go from your country and your kindred and your father’s house to the land that I will show you….'  So Abram went, as the LORD had told him, and Lot went with him. Abram was seventy-five years old when he departed from Haran.  —Genesis 12.1 & 4 (ESV)

Abram (later renamed Abraham) was 75 years old when God called him to leave his home and follow Him!  But Abram obeyed God without question.

When the magi sought the newborn King to worship Him, they were warned of Herod's deviousness, and they obeyed without question.

And behold, the star that they [the magi] had seen when it rose went before them until it came to rest over the place where the Child was… And being warned in a dream  not to return to Herod, they departed to their own country by another way. —Matthew 2.9 & 12 (ESV)

Joseph was also given a warning:

Now when they [the magi] had departed, behold, an angel of the Lord appeared to Joseph in a dream and said, 'Rise, take the Child and His mother, and flee to Egypt, and remain there until I tell you, for Herod is about to search for the Child to destroy Him.'  And he rose and took the Child and His mother by night and departed to Egypt and remained there until the death of Herod.  —Matthew 2.13-14 (ESV) (italics mine)

You know what strikes me about that passage?  Joseph didn't dilly-dally.  When he was warned by the angel, he immediately obeyed! He recognized the urgency of the warning, woke Mary, and took her and the Child into Egypt that very night!

In the book of Acts, we read about an angel instructing Philip to go down a desert road.

Now an angel of the Lord said to Philip, 'Rise and go toward the south to the road that goes down from Jerusalem to Gaza.' This is a desert place.  And he rose and went.  And there was an Ethiopian, a eunuch, a court official of Candace, queen of the Ethiopians, who was in charge of all her treasure.  He had come to Jerusalem to worship and was returning, seated in his chariot, and he was reading the prophet Isaiah.  And the Spirit said to Philip, 'Go over and join his chariot.'  —Acts 8.26-29 (ESV)

Do you see how important it is to obey God when He instructs us to do something?  Philip obeyed the angel of the Lord without questioning the reason why he should walk down a desert road.  You or I might have thought, 'That doesn't make any sense!  There's nothing out there but desert!'  But Philip obeyed and he arrived in time to meet the chariot of a foreigner who was studying the book of the prophet Isaiah. Philip asked the official if he understood what he was reading and offered to explain it to him.

Then Philip opened his mouth, and beginning with this Scripture he told him the good news about Jesus.  And as they were going along the road they came to some water, and the eunuch said, See, here is water!  What prevents me from being baptized?'  —Acts 8.35-36 (ESV)

In this case, the salvation of a man's eternal soul depended on the obedience of Philip.

Not all instructions require us to do something; some are intended to prevent us from acting outside God's will.

And when they had come up to Mysia, they attempted to go into Bithynia, but the Spirit of Jesus did not allow them.  —Acts 16.7 (ESV)

We must strive to follow these examples, to remove our egos and our own plans from the equation and obey our Lord, for doing so will result in our benefit as we honor God.

Please tell me what to do with my body.

I recently got diagnosed with epilepsy and I'm 22. Apparently ive been having seizures my whole life which I've simply not recalled the actual seizure and my stubborn family will wait for a meteor shower before they claim emergency so we've never gone to a hospital at the right time and my mother wasnt a very nice woman so she wouldnt want to say certain things to me or doctors and ive simply been told I'm just nervous my whole life. Recently I've had a lot of stress and anxiety out of nowhere and I had a big bad completely memorable seizure that scared the shit out of me and I felt a little sore afterwards (while I was seizing I was in a lawn chair convulsing inwards with my mouth open and head back) but no one ever asked if I was in amy pain and i was too out of it at the time to really even noticed but after I was discharged I started on a new medication called levitracitam (sub for keppra) an anticonvulsant. As the days passed I noticed some growing back pain that no matter the stretching would only fade a handful of minutes at a time. I felt like a grandma who couldnt bend but i powered thru and ate potassium and good food and stretched and slept for ages then my cat got stuck in a tree and shortly after he ran away and low amd behold I have what I felt like is another seizure except I wasn't shaking like before. My breath fell short and my heart went kooky-bananas and vision all blurry and I felt like I cpuldnt move tho I was alone I couldnt tell you what happened after I closed my eyes. When I came too from my incredibly long nap my back felt terrible chalked it up to my cryostasis. So I stretched amd went outsode and did everything I could to recenter myself and i flash forward I went on a very relaxing vacation with my brother at a retreat for people like me and on our way home we were hit with a family emergency that by a chain of events led us on a walk in a part of town ive never been in the middle of the night to cry out some pain and found a park with a swing set. I was the only one enjoying the swings and my group of sad people took a phone call and walked off without me into the night. I was thinking of a way to slow down fast on a swing on which i couldnt touch the ground and wound up sliding my butt too far to the front of the swing. Naturally at the apex of my swing (on the wind up) I felt unintentional liftoff and panicked grabbing onto the chain hooking my middle fingers inside of the loop and pulling my full body weight down to the ground (and hit the ground like a ton of 206 bricks) I know what youre thinking (go to an urgent care) but the situation is too delicate one of my group is coping with a suicide and I hurt myself fucking around I can wait. I slept that night on her floor and after assesing the family and children I then asked to go to a clinic and they fixed my broken middle fingers with a splint and sent me home quickly and again no one asked if I had any other pain and as I spoke i felt rushed by the nurses and doctors and my pain didnt feel too much worse than my hand so I wasnt worried. Flash forward I got home a got a little medically recreational for the pain and even got a fancy cbd beverage that day for pain in general. This is the day after I got home from my vacation of which i broke my middle fingers and finally slept in my own bed but when I woke my back pain was pretty extreme. It was hard to get out of bed but with some help and stretching my back could operate now my lower back hurts lake crazy and there's and sharp sting that prevents mr of certain movements and just sting in my left lower rib area in general am I paranoid and what should I do about my back pain? Should I see a doctor or ice it out?

The past few years have witnessed the inception of a new genre of affluent lament — a kind of marriage of our disparate cultural obsessions with the misery memoir and the university. The progeny of this union is the memoir of the elite university education that confers status but destroys souls. The plot of such memoirs almost always begins with a young scholar thirsting for wisdom who encounters our meritocratic educational apparatus, excels by its standards but is morally disfigured by them, wins admission to an Ivy League school, discovers that the place overlooks his secret cravenness and grants him success with professors and attractive women anyway, and is driven to the extremes of existential angst for a brief period by this discovery. When our wiser and more cynical scholar finally recovers, he concludes that elite education is rotten, graduates from the school, and proceeds to a brilliantly successful career as a writer, abetted by the publication of his memoir decrying the rottenness of his elite education. If these books don’t make obvious the devastating costs of an Ivy League education, what could?

The genre seems to have taken off after the publication in 2005 of Ross Douthat’s Privilege, a memoir of his undergraduate years at Harvard. It was followed by David Samuels’s memoir-disguised-as-reportage, The Runner, in 2008; the most recent contributor to the cause is Walter Kirn, whose Lost in the Meritocracy indicts Princeton. If one were inclined to include former Yale professor William Deresiewicz’s partially autobiographical 2008 essay, “The Disadvantages of an Elite Education,” among these laments, then all three bulwarks of American status-lust — Harvard, Yale, and Princeton — will have come in for a beating. It may be a partially or, if you’re really cynical, wholly deserved beating, and our clever meritocracy lamenters unfurl their verbal whips in so many directions that they do hit some of the truly rotten parts of our elaborate educational mechanism, but the requirements of memoir always direct their thoughts back to crafting narratives of their innocence and corruption.

…

All remark on the class disparities and the snobbery among the student bodies. Douthat and Kirn register the now-ubiquitous complaint against radicalism and obscurantism in the humanities, Kirn and Samuels home in on the arbitrariness of the system of standardized tests and melodramatic personal essays that selects Ivy League admits and condemns the rejects to a life of dullness and obscurity with state-school diplomas, and so on. But there remains something implausible in these authors’ combination of purported naïveté about the meritocratic game and their canny manipulation of it. They manage the impressive feat of becoming unwitting victims of the same system they so cynically and effectively exploited, and then they ask us to sympathize with the raw deal they’ve gotten.

…

This precocious knowingness is essential to the genre. Unless one has been cursed with the kind of crippling cultural deprivation associated with backwoods religious homeschooling and a name like Jedediah Purdy, it’s nearly impossible to make an unironic claim to childhood innocence. So these writers admit to knowing all along that meritocracy is an elaborate status game, that college admissions is about faking the appearance of achievement and intellectual seriousness. But even as they concede that their outsized lust for admission to elite schools deformed their character, these writers insist that they seriously believed that attending these schools would make them whole again. As Douthat puts it, after the trials of being unpopular and overlooked in high school, Harvard “became a beacon of hope to my semi-alienated teenage mind.... At Harvard, athleticism and good looks and popularity would count far less than the things that really mattered: native brilliance, and intellectual curiosity, and academic achievement.” College would transport them away from the craven striving of their high schools to a world of integrity, refinement, truth, and beauty. How such an idyll would be created out of a class of craven strivers exactly like themselves seems not to have come under their consideration.

…

Unsurprisingly, once they arrive on campus and confront a place full of perfect reflections of themselves, all their pleasant illusions are shattered, and they indict their classmates as phonies. The rich — targets we love to hate because all Americans, and particularly the readers of such Ivy League laments, are supposedly part of the long-suffering middle class — come in for the harshest attacks. Douthat’s formative Harvard experience consists in being rejected from a club so exclusive that no nonmember has glimpsed its interior for two centuries. Samuels is tyrannized at Harvard by his roommate’s vast collection of neckties. But it is Kirn’s account of the cruelty of the wealthy that most absurdly plays to popular resentments — he alleges that during his junior year, he was led into a car by “a handsome blond campus prince — the descendant of a legendary industrialist,” blindfolded, and driven for hours out into the country. When he removed the blindfold, he found himself in front of “an actual castle, with countless tall windows, pediments, and columns.” In the middle of New Jersey. “My family’s estate. Behold, poor serf! Behold a power you will never know!” the scion told him, and drove off leaving him stranded.

…

Here again, the conventions of memoir undermine the meritocracy lament’s broader argument against elite education. All these writers want to drive home the quite valid criticism of the hypocritical “diversity policy” at these schools, which Deresiewicz describes as “the heartwarming spectacle of the children of white businesspeople and professionals studying and playing alongside the children of black, Asian, and Latino businesspeople and professionals.” The superficial diversity of race and ethnicity masks the underlying social homogeneity that arises from selecting a student body almost exclusively from America’s wealthy suburbs, its elite urban enclaves, and its top hundred high schools. The dominance of affluent culture at elite schools may be a real problem, but not for these authors, who are themselves the children of white businesspeople and professionals. But how else to demonstrate the problem in a memoir except to inflict it on your subject, who happens to be you? The results are barely believable claims of victimization of the rich at the hands of the really rich that do little more than provoke a pointless game of poorer-than-thou, in which the authors’ own claims to victimhood can be easily contested on the grounds that other students have it even worse.

The rich are just as corrupt as we’d like them to be in these stories, but, as blogger and English professor Margaret Soltan has pointed out, these caricatures can backfire: “One reasonable conclusion to draw from Lost in the Meritocracy is that only extremely rich people should go to schools like Princeton. Kirn describes a college culture in which the vast majority of the students — rolling-in-dough Percodan-snorters — are happy and well-adjusted, and the tiny minority of middle-class students like Kirn are miserable and alienated.” Indeed, Kirn himself points out that this is a problem inherent in the idea of meritocracy: “A pure meritocracy, we’d discovered, can only promote; it can’t legitimize. It can confer success but can’t grant knighthood. For that it needs a class beyond itself: the high-born genealogical peerage that aptitude testing was created to overthrow.” Possibly to ward against such a reactionary conclusion, Kirn and his fellow Ivy League-lamenters take aim at every other student type as well — the radical activists and the establishment politicos, the ethnic priders and the anglophiles, the prude and the prurient, the women and the men, the studious and the lazy — all phonies.

…

This contradictory hatred forms the crux of the problem with the meritocracy lament — the authors urge us to save the elite university but describe no one in it as worth saving. The misery memoir makes a terrible platform for serious social commentary — it is too bound up with the author’s own ego and his effort to distinguish himself from the mass of his very similar peers to be able to offer much insight. What they seem to be aiming at is the authority and historical vision of Allan Bloom, but the result is something that rarely gets beyond the pint-sized resentment of Holden Caulfield. In reality, as their own logic inexorably leads us to conclude, the authors are really no better than their classmates, and if they want to expose the rottenness of elite education, they must either excuse themselves from the story and shine a light on these schools objectively, or they should do us the service of finding the kind of students who are what they wish they had been — sincere, honest, diligent, and intellectually independent — and figuring out how they got to be that way.

…

Part of their difficulty lies in the fact that sincere, serious, and intellectually honest students persist beside them — a handful among their own classmates, but more often, at other schools — and their character proves difficult to fit into the meritocracy lament paradigm. Theoretically, no one should be able to pass through the system and remain whole, so how did these students manage to do so? One answer is that they sought after some purpose besides head-patting from adults and distinctions for their résumés.

For some, that purpose is salvation. Religious students are anathema to Samuels and Kirn, who share in common early repudiations of their own faiths. For Samuels, admission to Harvard was his ticket out of the repressive Orthodox Jewish world of his childhood, and Kirn claims to have discovered early on that the Mormon Church was just another branch of the meritocratic system, rewarding shallow displays of oratory with hot chicks to make out with in the parking lot after services.

But religious colleges in America have been sources of explicit opposition to the decadent, established elite ever since Yale was founded in 1701 to preserve Puritan orthodoxy against what some viewed as the increasing laxity of Harvard’s faculty. The social status of these schools seems to vary indirectly with their denominational orthodoxy — the Newman Guide to Catholic colleges, for example, heaps its praises on such schools as Christendom College and Franciscan University of Steubenville for their “vibrant and pervasive spiritual life,” but that’s not enough to sneak these schools into even those backhanded “best colleges you’ve never heard of” guides, not to mention the canonical U.S. News rankings. At the same time, the Newman Guide laments the decline of Notre Dame into degenerate secularism, and Georgetown University, perhaps the highest-status Catholic school in America, doesn’t even merit a mention on the Newman list.

…

Where the meritocracy lamenters come closest to getting at the source of the moral distortions perpetuated by meritocracy is where they put their personal grudges and ambitions aside to report on what is actually happening at these universities. From these accounts emerges a common thread of abdicated adult responsibility. In part, the theme arises out of the conventions of memoir as well — these are all coming-of-age stories, and coming of age is always to some degree a process undertaken alone. However, it is no coincidence that some of the most memorable absurdities described by Kirn and Douthat are moments in which adult authority is notably wanting.

…

Who would leave this kind of money to the sole discretion of a bunch of nineteen-year-olds? It might be said that such responsibility is good practice for a future in which graduates of these clubs will go on to manage even larger sums in investment banking portfolios and national budgets, and perhaps that’s true, at least for those who aren’t caught pocketing the loose change first. But at bottom, the Suzanne Pomey incident illustrates the refusal of adults at Harvard — and, indeed, outside of it — to exercise not just punitive but moral authority over what Douthat calls “the high-IQ club.” Douthat describes the glee with which the campus derided her after the embezzlement was made public, and suggests that justice was served when she was sentenced to probation (the judge argued that “no purpose would be served by a sentence of incarceration”) and denied her Harvard diploma, a punishment that amounts to, as Douthat puts it, being “expelled from the paradise of the American overclass.”

Only that’s not quite how it worked out, or how it ever works out with the children of the meritocracy. Once one attains the requisite credentials — the GPA, SAT, and hours of tutoring underprivileged children — then it becomes increasingly difficult to justify exclusion from elite circles on the basis of mere character flaws. Pomey, like the more recent Harvard disgrace Kaavya Viswanathan, who was found to have plagiarized portions of her much-touted first novel in 2006, fled to the shelter of an elite law school to rebuild her respectability after the Harvard embezzlement flap. Gina Grant, whose admission to Harvard was famously rescinded in 1995 after it became known that she had murdered her mother (a fact she omitted from her application), graduated instead from Tufts. Moral considerations should not stand in the way of a person’s clearly demonstrated “potential,” which may be the only thing the adults in these books value in education and the only realm in which they are willing to exercise authority.

…

In her essay “The Crisis in Education,” Arendt described education as the situation in which “authority in the widest sense has always been accepted as a natural necessity, obviously required as much by natural needs, the helplessness of the child, as by political necessity, the continuity of an established civilization which can be assured only if those who are newcomers by birth are guided through a pre-established world into which they are born as strangers.” And Kirn himself corroborates the value of such authority after he suffers a karmic bout of muteness caused by his lifetime of abusing language to get ahead: “What I learned from [Uncle Admiral], his master lesson — the one that would help me reconstitute my mind after it dissolved at Princeton, worn down by loneliness, drugs, and French philosophy — was that the world could indeed be grasped and navigated if one met it with a steady gaze. Matter wasn’t truly solid, no, but it was packed tightly enough to set our feet upon.”

This is essentially what the adults in these books have removed from the curriculum and from education more broadly. No longer certain of anything about the world, the adults of the last two generations have given up trying to pass it on — the culture, politics, and institutions that have constituted American civilization as a species of the West — but they have found nothing with which to fill the holes left behind. They have lost credibility, and, regrettably or happily depending on whom you ask, ceded authority so that succeeding generations can start from scratch and figure out how to fix things. One of the notable products of this abdication of responsibility has been the rise of the educational meritocracy that continually rewards “aptitude,” which seems like something everyone can still agree is good to have and adults are willing to reward, even when they cannot agree on the essential question of what is worth directing one’s aptitude towards. The result is a system that produces an elite that has no clear idea of its own purpose: “I’d been amassing momentum my whole life,” Kirn explains, “and I knew only one direction: forward.... No one ever told me what the point was, except to keep on accumulating points, and this struck me as sufficient.”

Daniel said, “I saw in my vision by night, and behold, the four winds of heaven were stirring up the great sea (the nations). And four great beasts, each different from the other, were coming up out of the sea [in succession]. The first (the Babylonian Empire under Nebuchadnezzar) was like a lion and had the wings of an eagle. I kept looking until its wings were plucked, and it was lifted up from the ground and made to stand on two feet like a man; a human mind was given to it. And behold, another beast, a second one (the Medo-Persian Empire), was like a bear, and it was raised up on one side (domain), and three ribs were in its mouth between its teeth; and it was told, ‘Arise, devour much meat.’ After this I kept looking, and behold, another one (the Greek Empire of Alexander the Great), like a leopard, which had on its back four wings like those of a bird; the beast also had four heads (Alexander’s generals, his successors), and power to rule was given to it. After this I kept looking in the night visions, and behold, [I saw] a fourth beast (the Roman Empire), terrible and extremely strong; and it had huge iron teeth. It devoured and crushed and trampled down what was left with its feet. It was different from all the beasts that came before it, and it had ten horns (ten kings). While I was considering the horns, behold, there came up among them another horn, a little one, and three of the first horns were pulled up by the roots before it; and behold, in this horn were eyes like the eyes of a man and a mouth boasting of great things. “I kept looking Until thrones were set up, And the Ancient of Days (God) took His seat; His garment was white as snow And the hair of His head like pure wool. His throne was flames of fire; Its wheels were a burning fire. A river of fire was flowing And coming out from before Him; A thousand thousands were attending Him, And ten thousand times ten thousand were standing before Him; The court was seated, And the books were opened. Then I kept looking because of the sound of the great and boastful words which the horn was speaking. I kept looking until the beast was slain, and its body destroyed and given to be burned with fire. As for the rest of the beasts, their power was taken away; yet their lives were prolonged [for the length of their lives was fixed] for a predetermined time. “I kept looking in the night visions, And behold, on the clouds of heaven One like a Son of Man was coming, And He came up to the Ancient of Days And was presented before Him. And to Him (the Messiah) was given dominion (supreme authority), Glory and a kingdom, That all the peoples, nations, and speakers of every language Should serve and worship Him. His dominion is an everlasting dominion Which will not pass away; And His kingdom is one Which will not be destroyed.

Daniel 7:2‭-‬14 AMP

Imaginaerum (2011) - First Impression

This is Nightwish doing The Most™ and it’s amazing! This is one of the few times I’ve seen something with such ambition and such scale get absolutely fucking NAILED and it’s a sight to behold. Everybody’s firing on all cylinders with an extremely pointed vision and it’s executed masterfully.  In short I love Anette on this. She sounded good on Dark Passion Play but she’s absolutely flexing on us here. Going from high pitched as fuck modern rock singing on Storytime, to R&B vocals on Slow, Love, Slow, to her best performance on a Nightwish song possibly ever with Scaretale where she even gives Marco a run for his money with how fucking full of character and intensity her voice is. 

If I could describe this album in a phrase it would be decadent and indulgent as fuck. Some of the stuff they pull on here if done by any other band and done any less good had the potential to be fucking TERRIBLE. However, because of the skill, songwriting ability, and at this point experience the band has writing orchestral music, what had the potential to be a bloated terrible mess is just overflowing with elegance. The entire second half of Song of Myself is spoken word and ambient symphony music and the final track, the title track is an instrumental that’s been said to be the “end credits theme”. I have to stress that this all totally works in an unironic, sincere way that’s sort of baffling if I’m being honest because I can say I haven’t seen what Nightwish does here pulled off with a straight face.  To basically become the stereotypical reviewer and do a food metaphor, this is the gourmet chocolate cake of music. There’s a lot here but it’s delicious and I rarely see it made so well.    

Unfortunately this is the last album with Anette Olzon on it. Apparently she was fired in a similar way to Tarja where there’s a whole bunch of he said she said and it’s not fun at all! Except this time whereas with Tarja leaving us with 5 albums of material and arguably ending with her best stuff in the band, Anette barely got 2 albums and this most recent one I was just starting to like her! 

I would have liked a third album with Anette but c'est la vie. I hope I like Floor Jansen because I see love for her among some of the Nightwish community and there’s a fan blog thats popped up in my recommendations ever since I started posting about them so hopefully I get the hype!  Anyway those are my thoughts, what are yours?

The Book of Michael

The Book of Michael As revealed and directed by and through The Holy Spirit of the Lord God To Him be the glory, forever and ever! List of Chapters  Chapter 1 - The Lord Appears  Chapter 2 - The Eternal Throne Room of Heaven  Chapter 3 - Satan Attacks  Chapter 4 - Journey to the Cross  Chapter 5 - Washing of the Lamb  Chapter 6 - The Victory of the Lord  Chapter 7 - The Beginning of the Beginning  Chapter 8 - The Eternal Throne Established  Chapter 9 - Journey through Heaven  Chapter 10 - The Garden of the Lord  Chapter 11 - The Great Forest  Chapter 12 - The Wisdom of the Lord  Chapter 13 - The Tree of Jacob  Chapter 14 - The Scroll of Fire  Chapter 15 - The Weight of the Scroll  Chapter 16 – Fire in the Sky  Chapter 17 – Siege of the Holy Land  Chapter 18 - The Great City  Chapter 19 - The Building of the Temple  Chapter 20 - The Army of the Light  Chapter 21 – Finding the Lord  Chapter 22 - The Nations of our Time  Chapter 23 - The Other Religions  Chapter 24 - The Last Row of Great Trees  Chapter 25 - Of Michael Words of the Lord in Red The Lord Appears 1 Chapter 1 The Lord Appears Chapter 1 I Michael, sat before the Lord, in agony of my spirit and bitterness of my soul. I began crying out to the Lord to take my life away from me, for my sin had overwhelmed me and I felt unworthy of the Lamb and the life He had given me. I had followed the sinful desires of my deceptive heart and had neither sought out the Lord Jesus Christ or His word to me, although He had called upon me since my youth. As I fell to my knees in the darkness around me, my hands spread out and my face hidden from the light, I began to cry out to the Lord. And then there came upon me a voice that called my name and said unto me, “Michael, I am here, and I am with you.” My inner being began to tremble and fear overwhelmed me, but I was unable to move and could not open my eyes, for a vision had overtaken me and I could not escape. A terrible and dreadful darkness filled my mind and I could see nothing. I perceived myself crawling in the darkness, but there was no sight to guide me and it felt as if death itself was closing in on me as I had petitioned in my sorrow. Then suddenly, a glorious light appeared before me, blinding me so that I turned away and fell backwards into the darkness. I threw my body forward and lied down on my face; crying out to the Lord to please not destroy me. The light was unlike anything human eyes could look upon and I cannot define it in words used by man, for it was a light that shone forth, unlike any that I had ever known and I believed it to be an angel sent to destroy me. I felt a hand touch the back of my head, which made me tremble in fear. Then a gentle voice said unto me, “Do not fear, for I am with you. Raise yourself and look upon me.” I began to weep and cried out, “I am afraid to look up, for I am just a man and darkness is in my heart. “ As I was speaking these words, I felt a surge of power running through my body and I found myself being lifted onto my knees while my head remained bowed towards the ground with my hands still covering my eyes. Fear had completely frozen me, and I could not move by my own power or will. Then I felt a hand reaching under my chin and gently lifting my head, and then the voice said unto me, “Open your eyes, for your blindness is now gone from you.” I slowly opened my eyes and behold, there was the Lord Jesus Christ in His full glory standing before me. I began to weep in sorrow for His beauty and glory was so great that it overwhelmingly contrasted the darkness of my own heart and soul. He was covered in a solid white garment and had golden sandals upon His feet. His hands were as a man’s but glowed with light and I could see the holes torn through His palms. His face was radiant and unblemished, and His eyes were shining like sapphires. His stare was deep and penetrating. His hair was long and flowing. It Return to Chapter Index The Lord Appears 2 Chapter 1 appeared darker, yet was lined with a bright golden tint, like the color of a great lion’s mane, with an aura of white light radiating around it. His presence emanated absolute power and might, yet His face was beautiful and contained a gentle lovingness that I had seen in no other. When He spoke to me, it sounded like the roar of a thousand waterfalls and the quietness of butterfly wings at the exact same moment. Then the Lord took my hand and said to me, “Come and walk with me, for I have much to tell you and much to show you.” The Lord then lifted me up to my feet, but my knees began to shake uncontrollably. I had no strength in my legs, my body melted away and all coordination left me. I said to Him, “Lord, I have no strength, nor ability to walk with you.” The Lord gazed into my eyes, gently smiled and again said to me, “Come and walk with me.” At once my strength and coordination seemed to return and I was lifted up and standing to His right side and we began walking together. As we walked along, there appeared a path in front of us, which was being illuminated in the darkness by the light radiating from the Lord’s presence. This caused the darkness to fall away as wax drips from a candle. Then the Lord asked me, “What do you see in front of you?” I answered, “Lord, I see only light shining out into the darkness.” Then the Lord said to me, “Michael, now look through my eyes and tell me what you see, for I have called you so that you may have sight.” Instantly the darkness began to recede as if a great dome was breaking away, and light began appearing in all directions. In front of me I saw a path that seemed endless and paved with a transcendent light. As I looked down the path, there began appearing before me legions and legions of angels. They were in formations on the right and left side of the path. Their eyes were solid white, and their form was like that of ancient, battle hardened soldiers, for I know no other way to describe them. They appeared immortal and indestructible, each of them held a shield and a long sword, and they were covered in armor. On their heads they wore golden colored helmets with their bodies, legs and arms being fitted with golden colored armor. They had golden sandals which were laced up to their shins. Their size and strength were greater than that of a mortal man, even the greatest of men, and they were all identical in appearance. They were aligned in perfect columns and appeared endless in number. It was a mass display of warrior angels in battle array. They uniformly bowed down to one knee before the Lord with their swords held against their chests, and their shields laid to the ground. They had beautiful white wings that were folded across their feet. They proclaimed as with one voice, “Praise, Glory and Honor to the Lord Jesus Christ, who is the King of Kings and the Lord of Lords!” Return to Chapter Index The Lord Appears 3 Chapter 1 It was a great salutation comparative to how a Roman or Greek soldier would have bowed and saluted an Emperor or a King, but this was so much more glorious, and the experience was overwhelming to me. I looked down and realized that I was clothed in white and covered in silver armor across my arms, legs and chest. I had a golden sword attached to my left hip and a golden dagger attached to my right. My heart was overcome with admiration for the Lord and I also bowed to my knee and gave praise to the Lord along with the angels vastly aligned before us. I then humbly asked Him, “Lord, why am I covered in armor and why am I being shown all of this?” Then the Lord answered me, saying, “Michael, you were chosen before the beginning of time. You are to be as one of the prophets and kings among men that I have chosen; those whose names I chose to make great. For you Michael, will be by my side with the armies of Heaven.” I said unto Him, “Lord, surely this cannot be, for who am I? I am the worst of sinners, a coward of the worst kind, and there is nothing about me that would make me great before men, how much less before the eyes of the Lord God Almighty?” I began to tremble in fear, believing that my inner spirit was committing blasphemy against the Lord God of Bible. “Whoa to me!” I cried out and began to beat upon my chest, saying “I am doomed! What is this evil heart of mine imagining! Who am I?” The Lord then said unto me, “Michael, be still and know that I am the Lord and I choose whom I choose, for it is not man who makes Himself who he is, only who he is not. Do not fear, for you will soon understand the words that I speak to you. First you must walk through the fire, knowing that you are worthy because of the Lord.” And then behold, I looked down the path and there appeared a great lightning storm in the distance, which shrouded the path before us. I said to the Lord, “Lord, I see in the distance, lightning and a great storm in front of us.” The Lord said to me, “Michael, we now walk toward the entrance of the throne room of heaven. What you are seeing is the glory of the throne room’s gates. You will soon see the glory of the Lord God and be told many things this day and for many days to come.” I trembled in fear as we drew near the lightning and I wanted to flee but could not. The Lord took hold of my hand and said unto me, “Fear not, for I am with you and your darkness is no more,” and I felt His peace and love flow through me. Then the Lord and I stopped and stood still before the wall of lightning which flashed violently in front of us, causing my body to tremble. The Lord raised His right hand and the storm was stilled and the lightning ceased to be. Suddenly, a great and marvelous being appeared before us, which towered over the other angels aligned on the path. Its form was extremely muscular; leaving no question that it possessed an enormous amount of power. Return to Chapter Index The Lord Appears 4 Chapter 1 It was solid white from its head to its feet, with long flowing white hair. It had no armor, but only two white straps which crossed over its chest, and its lower waist was covered with a gold-colored loin cloth. It had a giant sheath across its back and a magnificent white sword which set inside of it. It stared with a fixed gaze and had blazing eyes of white fire. The stare pierced my soul, causing me to tremble inside. It showed no emotion and had no facial expression. Then the being bowed low on both knees before the Lord, putting its hands together as if in prayer. The Lord said to the giant being kneeling before us, “Rise Michael for we are to enter.” I was amazed at what I had heard, and I asked the Lord, “Is this Michael the Archangel, my Lord? Is that really him?” The Lord smiled and answered, “Yes Michael, what you have said is true.” I was overwhelmed with awe for I could have never imagined him looking like that, or me ever laying eyes on Michael the Archangel of the Bible! Michael then stood aside and reached out his hand and behold, two beautiful golden gates appeared before us. Their height and width were beyond measure. The doors began to open, not by swinging in or out, but by fading away. I heard the sound of innumerable trumpets being blown as a golden light shone forth where the gates had been standing. I was then led by the hand of the Lord Jesus Christ into the throne room of Heaven. The Eternal Throne Room of Heaven 5 Chapter 2 The Eternal Throne Room of Heaven Chapter 2 The Lord and I stepped forth into the throne room of Heaven and the sound of the trumpets ceased. There was a quietness that stirred my spirit. I looked, and before me was the image of the living God as He sat upon His throne. His glory shone forth, lighting up the entire hall, and the floor glowed with His light. The light was warm, and its power sank into my soul; the light itself seemed to be alive. His vastness was beyond my comprehension, as His presence seemed to fill the entire world, and yet He appeared to be a great distance from me at the same time. I felt the energy and spirit of God, radiating directly upon the Lord Jesus Christ, as would a ray of light shining through dark clouds. There was a peaceful, warm and embracing power that filled the great throne room. I gazed at Him but could not make out His features from where I stood; the brilliance that came from the throne was too great for me to penetrate with my eyes. The Lord lifted His hand and pointed me to the right of the throne room entrance, which was to the front and left side from the face of the throne itself. I looked in the direction that the Lord pointed and saw six great pillars that were sectioning off part of the throne room, but not enclosing it. The pillars appeared to be bronze, brass or gold in color. Three of the pillars ran parallel with the hall and three ran perpendicular, forming an L-shape that faced the throne itself. The Lord guided me towards the section marked off by the six pillars and I began to hear praising coming forth as the sound of men. As we drew closer, I saw a large white table that sparkled like diamonds in the sun and was surrounded by white thrones. The people around the table were on their knees, raising their hands and bowing to their faces in a continuous motion toward the throne. They proclaimed in one harmonious voice, “Praise the Lord God Almighty, and praise the Lamb of God who takes away the sins of the world!” As we walked through the pillars and into the room, the people bowed around the table began to rise to one knee and saluted the Lord with their hands folded across their chests. Their appearance reminded me of angels glowing in white light. Then behold, their appearance transformed as they began to seat themselves upon the thrones placed around the table. Some of them were more aged, while others were younger. Some were women, others men. Each of them was unique, yet they seemed to be somehow the same. Their clothes, faces and bodies changed before my eyes and each greeted me with a warm and gentle smile and welcomed me in one voice, saying, “Welcome Michael,” and I felt as though I genuinely was welcomed. They began speaking with each other cheerfully, with gladness in their eyes and joy in their laughter, as if to be one great family. Return To Chapters Index Return to Chapter Index The Eternal Throne Room of Heaven 6 Chapter 2 I seemed to know some of them, although I could not explain why. I saw Abel, Enoch, Noah, Abraham, Sarah, Isaac, Jacob, Moses, Joshua, Samuel, Solomon, Isaiah, Jeremiah, Peter, John, Paul, Mary and then others that I did not seem to yet know. As we drew nearer to the table, one of them stood up, walked towards us and bowed his head to the Lord, saluting Him with his arm across his chest and said, “Praise, glory and honor be to you my King and my Lord.” The Lord touched the top of the man’s head and said to him, “Thank you my friend and blessed are you before me David.” The man then stood up and reached out his hand to me, and the Lord said to me, “Michael, this is David.” I immediately began to drop to my knee before him, for I suddenly realized that he was the great king of men, chosen by the Lord. David quickly reached down and lifted me up and said to me, “I am only David, and there is but one King that we bow down to. Come my friend, and I will speak with you.” I began to take note of his appearance. He was no taller than I, which was slightly less than six feet in height. He had long dark hair with traces of silver and gray, and it was pulled back in a long braid behind him. His eyes were like that of a hawk focused on its prey, narrow and deep-set with a dark bronzed color. He wore a small crown upon his forehead that encircled his head but did not cover it. He had a small, well-groomed beard, which was dark and contained traces of silver and gray. He was dressed in a leather vest with scaled overlaying, the substance of which I could not make out. Beneath his vest was a cloth shirt which covered his arms up to his elbows. He wore leather forearm bands that covered his arms from the lower elbow down to the base of his wrists. He wore a covering that went down to the point of his lower knees and his waist was fitted with a large leather belt. He had a long sword fastened on the left side of the belt and a knife that was oddly shaped on the right. He was muscular and built for battle, yet he had a gentle and humble demeanor. He wore plain leather sandals that were strapped and bound across the tops of his feet and were held steady by straps that crossed each of his heels. He spoke to me like I was a friend, and he said to me, “Blessed are you Michael, for you have been chosen to write down what you see and what you hear. You will see and hear many things, and this means that the enemy will seek to destroy you. You will be in battles for all of your days. I wish to impart to you some wisdom and guide you in how to endure and be victorious when the battles come.” He instructed that I was to kneel and cry out to the Lord for Him to have mercy upon His servant, and to ask Him to send Michael upon Michael. He then directed me to reflect on Psalm Sixty-One, and to always put myself into deep prayer before the Lord when the attacks came. Return to Chapter Index The Eternal Throne Room of Heaven 7 Chapter 2 He then finished his words by telling me that the battle could only be won by faith in the Lord and in no other way. I thanked him for his wisdom and kindness, having no idea what he was talking about. What attacks, and what battles was he referring to? He seemed aware that I had no understanding as to the meaning of his warnings. I was surprised when I later discovered that Psalm Sixty-One is David’s prayer of protection to the Lord. He turned back to the Lord and embraced Him, and then walked back to the table and sat back down amidst the others. I then asked the Lord what David was referring to, as I was somewhat confused, and I lacked the understanding I felt was needed. The Lord answered me, saying, “David was sharing wisdom that he gained during his life on earth while engaging the types of battles you are about to confront. I tell you also to strengthen yourself against the enemy. Do as David has said, getting on your knees and crying out by way of the Holy Spirit, and then proclaiming with boldness the prayer, which I have given to mankind. Open the word of God and reflect on Psalm Sixty-One, and also Hebrews Three and Hebrews Eleven. These additional words were written down by the hand of my rich young servant Nicodemus. I chose to impart wisdom to my people through him; however, many still rejected it. I asked the Lord, “Lord, who is this enemy that is going to attack me and why would they choose to be my enemy?” The Lord then said unto me, “The enemy is Satan, and all that obey him - and his true nature will soon be revealed to you.” The Lord turned and walked over to the table. He cast greetings to those seated on the thrones and they returned his greetings with cheer and warmth. Then the Lord said to me, “Michael, let us now go forth and present ourselves before the Throne.” He turned and began to walk between the pillars towards the center of the throne room and I began to feel trembling in my soul. As I began to follow the Lord, one of the men sitting at the table said to me, “Michael, my name is Paul. Do not fear the light, for it is those who are of the dark that will hate you. You will be vehemently despised by the enemy, but you can trust in the Lord. He will guide you and give you the strength you need, my friend.” I stared at him with great admiration. His appearance, like his words, was truly genuine and I felt as if he had been a trusted friend to me all of my life. I thanked him for his kindness and turned back toward the Lord as He was saying to me, “Let us go forth now Michael, for it is time.” I began walk with the Lord and I was overwhelmed in my spirit. The Lord took hold of my left hand and said to me, “Do not fear, for I go to present you to the Father. Michael, I am in you and you are in me. For the Father loves the Son and all that are in the Son are welcomed by the Father.” Return to Chapter Index The Eternal Throne Room of Heaven 8 Chapter 2 I said to Him, “Lord, I do not understand what is happening right now and I am trembling in fear. I know that no one can stand in the presence of the Father and His glory.” The Lord said unto me, “The Son can stand in the presence of the Father. Those that are in the Son have become part of the Son’s glory by the Spirit that binds them as one. You have been glorified in the presence of the Father, for you are in the Son. Now let us go to the Father, for there is much for you to see and hear.” And so began our walk; hand in hand towards the throne of the God. As we drew nearer to the throne, I began to perceive what I could not when we had first entered the throne room. The light from the throne seemed to be glowing as opposed to radiating, the nearer we drew towards it. I felt as if my legs were going to collapse, and I was very weak. Then behold, the glorious throne appeared before me and I saw the image of God Almighty in His full glory. I dropped to my knees and fell on my face before Him, weeping as a child. The Lord knelt down beside me and said to the Father, “Father whom I love and who loves me, I bring forth Michael, whom you also love.” I then heard a great and thunderous voice which shook the throne room, saying, “Come forth my Son; for all that is mine is yours, for you and I are one.” I raised my head and saw great and wonderful things appear before me. The Father was immeasurable, and His throne was great and mighty. The throne itself was glowing of a golden color, but not made of gold. It sat high upon a large row of steps that were crimson red. The Father was spirit in His form, His face glowed, and He was covered from His neck to the base of His feet with a white robe that glowed with a golden aura of light. He seemed to be covered in flaming fire, yet I felt only gentle warmth. His legs reached out to the bottom of the crimson steps and the soles of His feet rested on the floor at the base of them. His size, power and strength cannot be described with the words of man. I saw sitting at the base of the steps, at the right foot of the Father, a Man and a Woman of excellent form. They were uncovered and naked and they were marvelous and beautiful to behold. They were embracing one another in pure love and peace. I asked the Lord, “Lord, please tell me who are these people seated upon the steps of the throne?” The Lord said unto me, “Michael that is Adam and Eve. They sit before the throne and give glory to the Father for the love, grace and mercy that He has bestowed upon them and their descendants.” I asked the Lord, “Lord, why have they not aged? They look so very young in their appearance?” Return to Chapter Index The Eternal Throne Room of Heaven 9 Chapter 2 The Lord said unto me, “They were formed by the very breath of God, which does not age, as they were not born of flesh into a dark nature as were all of their descendants. They were created by the hand of God, set apart for Him. Their death was a result of their separation from Him and not from the aging of the flesh Michael. I could not comprehend it, so I asked no more questions. I just stared in awe of their beauty, for I had never seen anything so pure and unblemished, except the Lord Himself. Then the Lord raised me to my feet and behold, I saw the left arm of God Almighty reach forth, and the Lord and I were lifted into His hand and brought forth before Him. I began to shake uncontrollably as I was directly in the presence of God Almighty. I dropped to my knees and bowed my head low in fear. The Lord, still having hold of my left hand, gently said to me, “Michael, lift yourself up and look upon the glory of the Father.” I cried out that I feared that I would surely die. The voice of the Father came forward and I felt its power surge through me. The Father said to me, “Do not fear, for I have only love for you and you are not going to die.” His voice thundered, shaking my body as if I was being taken apart. I slowly raised my head and looked upon the face of the Father. I could only weep before Him. His face radiated glory. It seemed like I was staring directly into the sun at first and I was blinded, but then my vision returned, and I could clearly see. He had golden eyes that radiated light, wisdom, love and power. His facial features were faded by the brilliance of His presence. He had a great white beard, perfect in form. It looked like white flames in its composure. His hair, also long and solid white, flowed perfectly. He was ancient beyond understanding and without age. Wisdom, power, love and knowledge beyond anything I could ever comprehend. His entire being resonated forth all of His divine attributes and nature. Any conceivable notion I had ever conjured up about Him was shattered instantly, and even in His presence my mind was unable to comprehend Him. Standing behind each of His shoulders were two great angels. Each of them stood a head length above the Father’s throne. Their faces were covered in silver masks and they were enormous. Each held a great spear in their hand, which was a full length higher than they. Their wings were massive, and each had three pair that covered their waists, sides and backs. The angel on the right side of the Father held the spear in his right hand and the one on His left side held the spear in his left hand. They did not speak, nor did they move, except when the Father moved or spoke. When He moved, the angels’ wings would spread out and they would bow their heads and raise their spears across their chests. Return to Chapter Index The Eternal Throne Room of Heaven 10 Chapter 2 I raised my eyes and looked far above the throne and I saw thousands of smaller angels singing in one voice, in a language I could not understand. Their song was peaceful to my spirit and they were in perfect harmony with one another. I looked to my left and gazed upon the Lord and I saw that His appearance had changed. He was glowing even more glorious than before and there was a light that encircled Him that was coming from the Father. I looked down at my hand that the Lord was holding, and to my amazement, I saw the light running through me and then returning to the Father. I suddenly realized that I had no fear, doubt or worry in my soul and I was at total peace. I wanted to stay there forever and never leave that moment and place, but it was not to be my time. The Father then began to move His hand closer towards Him. As the Father drew us nearer to Himself, I looked, and His form was indeed spirit. He placed the Lord and me inside of Himself, so that we were within Him and not without. I looked and saw that I was no longer in the hand of the Father, but rather was in a spiritual place with the Lord standing slightly above me, and I was on my knees below and before Him. The Father appeared beside the Son, and He was the size of a Man but contained the same glory. The Father and the Son appeared as one before me in presence yet separate in appearance. I bowed low at the feet of the Lord and the Father. I felt so overwhelmed with peace and joy, beyond anything I could have ever thought possible. They sat down in front of me, as would men around a campfire, and they invited me to sit with them. They treated me as if I were family and I felt at ease, nearly forgetting who they were and who I was. I felt completely comfortable in their presence. They then began to speak as one, saying “Your sin no longer exists, and your darkness has been taken away. For the Father, the Son and the Spirit are as one. We are eternally bound by the spirit of love and perfection that exists in us. The spirit of love contains all knowledge, wisdom and power and is the gift that we bestowed upon mankind, for all who choose to come into that love. This is the love the Father has for the Son and the love the Son has for the Father. In love is found the light that shines on all treasure, mystery and knowledge, and it is our grace gift to men who choose to seek it in us.” I asked them, “Lord God, I do not understand why I am here and being told these things and I know not what you would have me do? Please reveal to me, what your will is for me, so that I may give honor and glory to you in a way that you may find me worthy of this great calling.” The Lord God said unto me, “You are already found worthy and my will is for you to awake and know that I will call out to you, and through you I will reveal much to those who seek it. Return to Chapter Index The Eternal Throne Room of Heaven 11 Chapter 2 When you awake, you will have doubt in your heart and disbelief will come upon you. The enemy will soon put forth his attack, but you will overcome him in us, for we are with you. Now go, and when you awake you will know that you have seen and heard truth.” Instantly, I came out of my vision and found myself lying on the floor in the darkness. I had fallen away from the place where I had knelt and cried out before the Lord and I was dazed in my spirit. I was not the same man, and this could not be denied. My legs and body had gone numb as nearly two hours had passed. A terrible and dreadful fear began to fall upon me, the likeness of which I had never felt. How could I know if it was real or not? I trembled at the thought of blasphemy. I studied The Word and seemed to know it intimately, even though I had barely read it before, except in casual passing of time. My mind was in a constant state of expectation and fear now. Return to Chapter Index Satan Attacks 12 Chapter 3 Satan Attacks Chapter 3 After I had the vision in the night, I began to feel as though I was falling away from myself. Something had changed in my heart and mind. It seemed as though I was losing grip on the reality of the world as I had known it. What was once important and worth doing, no longer seemed to matter. Everything that I had seen as worth having was losing its lure over me somehow. Time went by, and I found myself back at the place where I had met the Lord in my first vision. This time I was in deep prayer with my sins before me, and I began to seek the Lord again. In the darkness, I again bowed before the Lord and called upon His name, not knowing if He would come to me again. I had thought to myself many times since the first vision, “Had it been real, or had I just begun to lose my mind?” I offered up my prayer to the Lord and then sat in silence, hoping to hear or see Him again. I was very anxious as I did not know what to expect, and the conviction and guilt of my sin was lying heavy on mind. The revelation and new understanding of God’s word (The Bible) opened my eyes so that I clearly saw the great divide that was before man and God. Not even the vision I had experienced was able to solidify this in my heart to the extent that understanding the Bible had done in such a short passing of time. I suddenly found myself in another vision, and once again I was sitting in total darkness, but I was not in despair as I had been before. I then saw the Lord flash before my eyes and then disappear. He appeared as would a still frame, not moving or saying anything. He was clothed in white as before. He would appear and then in an instant, disappear and reappear in a different location around me. I spoke out loud, saying, “Lord, will you not speak to me?” There was no reply from Him, and a dreadful fear came over me as something was different in His spirit towards me. Again and again, he just kept appearing and then disappearing. I tried to escape the vision and I wanted to leave this place, as something had changed from the first vision. There was an anger and coldness that I had not felt before, but I was unable to leave. Suddenly the Lord appeared, His hands lifted high before me. He was perched above me. I bowed before Him as I had done before and as I was about to speak, He spoke first. He began to speak against me with terrible anger in His voice, condemning me of my sin and failures. I looked up and saw that His mouth did not move, but His words still came forth. Satan Attacks 13 Chapter 3 I was horrified, as my guilt could not be denied - and now I was being judged and condemned by the living God. I looked and suddenly saw to the left and to the right of me, men that were kneeling before the Lord as I was and the Lord was in His anger, berating us as one. He then said unto me, “I chose you and you betrayed me with your sin, but these saints have come to pray on your behalf. Now lift your hands high and pray for mercy and they will do the same.” I began to weep and lifted my hands high as did the saints that were beside me, but my arms became weak and I could not hold them long enough to please Him. I said to Him, “Lord, I am not able to hold my arms high for they are becoming weak. Please Lord,” I cried, “Forgive me and do not cast me away.” Then the saints disappeared, and I was alone with the Lord. He stood before me and burned as if with white fire. His anger was cruel, bitter and unmerciful. He then said to me, “Know that you have been rejected and found unworthy. You are to be cast from my presence forevermore!” I fell on my face and began to cry uncontrollably, pleading with the Lord to forgive me, for I was just a man. But there was only silence and darkness and He was gone. I closed my eyes and awaited my fate as fear gripped my heart and pain seared through my body and soul. I then heard a distant voice whisper to me, “So you thought you were good enough for God, did you? You believed you were chosen by Him and that you would actually be able to serve Him?” A chilled laughter followed the question. I said to the voice, “Who are you, and why do you ask me this question?” The voice replied, “I have many names. Open your eyes and speak to me, for you need not fear me.” I opened my eyes and saw that I was in a much different place, and I had no idea how I had gotten there. I was lying in burnt ash, as if coals from a great fire had burned out there, and I was embedded into the floor. I was still lying in the same position as I had been when I was crying out to the Lord to forgive me. I lifted my face and looked around me. I saw a great expanse of ash as if it were a desert. Beside where I was lying was a black tree that had been sapped of life, charcoaled and burnt. In the distance in front of me I saw a black set of hills and to the right of the hills there was an opening in the ground that ran along like a stream. From the opening streamed fire, and gray smoke was rising from it. I tried to lift myself onto my knees, but terrible pain seared through my body. I felt as if I had fallen, not only in the spiritual sense, but in the physical one as well. Return to Chapter Index Satan Attacks 14 Chapter 3 There was no wind, sun or clouds that I could detect around me. Instead all I saw was a gray sky, mixed with ash, that filled the air. The only way I could distinguish up from down was by the different tones of gray as the smoke rose upwards. This place was filled by dreadful sadness and sorrow, as the soul feels when the heart is utterly broken, and dark clouds of deep depression linger on. Then the voice spoke to me again saying, “Welcome, and do not fear, for you have not died, nor have you lost what you desire. No, my friend, you have just been found unworthy before God, as we all have been. I looked over to my left and saw a man walking towards me with a smile on his face. He had silver hair that was perfectly kept and trimmed above his shoulders. He was wearing a very fashionable set of clothing and appeared wealthy. He walked up beside me, looked down and smiled. He had the appearance of a wall street executive, but not vain or proud. He began slowly walking around me and spoke with a gentle, calming voice. He said to me, “Now you have seen the glory of the Lord God Almighty and although He is beautiful in appearance, deadly and vengeful is He in truth. Do you not find it odd that a God of love would choose to create us all, knowing and decreeing that we would become what we are, and then condemn us for being what He created and chose? Go further and realize that He had His own eternal Son crucified as a part of His plan! He is most cruel and cares only for His own power and glory. You have seen this yourself, have you not? He brought you before Him, showed you a glimpse of Heaven, convinced your heart that you were loved eternally, and then condemned you without mercy. Why were you condemned? I will tell you why. It is because you cannot be Him. You cannot be perfect, as He has Himself decreed that only He is perfect. Therefore, you are without excuse before Him, because He gave you a condemned life that can never be perfect enough to be in His presence. What a loving God! Bow to His feet and give Him praise for destroying you and then claiming to save you from the destruction He created.” I found myself beginning to listen to his logic and nearly agreeing with him. I asked his name again, saying, “Are you the fallen one called Satan?” He answered, “I am one with many names, falsely accused, hated and spoken against since the beginning of time. I am called Satan, the Devil, the Fallen One, the Angel of Darkness and even referred to as Lucifer. Why? Because I speak the truth that God does not want anyone to hear. I grant freedom from His slavery, and therefore I am labelled a rebel and evil.” He began laughing again, only now with anger in his voice, and he said to me, “Do not fear me, for I will not do to you what the Lord has done. I will not reject you and I will not punish you for being who you are made to be. Do you think that I created this place you see around us?” He began to get angrier and to curse the name of the Lord; he could not contain His rage. Return to Chapter Index Satan Attacks 15 Chapter 3 He then said to me, “Join me and I will show you what a true God should be. I will give you the pleasures of your heart and you will suffer no more. You do not need to be a slave any longer. I will not condemn your conscience, nor will I expect anything of you, for I am not a cruel and unmerciful God like the Lord is!” I replied to him, “But you are not God. How can a man join unto any God but the one true God? Does not His will sustain all things? And whether I understand Him or His purposes, am I not commanded to love Him and have no other false god?” He smiled with an evil grin and answered me saying, “Tell me how well that is working out for you, this loving and serving the one true God? Where is your one true God, and did He not just cast you here and lay you before me? Do I not speak the truth? Why hold onto to faithfulness to Him and refuse my offer after He has rejected you? Do not be a fool, for you are without options now and my offer is true grace, where His offer is false grace!” I said to Him, “If indeed the Lord has decreed that I am to serve eternity in your presence and be separated from the Lord God forever and this is His judgment, then I will serve Him from the gates of hell and I will cry out to Him for all eternity. How can I do anything other than this? I cannot stand against God or His judgement, for He is Just, Holy and Righteous, and if He chooses not to forgive me then I have no basis to plead my innocence, for I am guilty beyond measure.” I said these words in a spirit of boldness to him, finding my words to be faithful; but then my boldness ended as I enraged him with my words, and set loose his true nature. He reached down and grabbed me by my throat and lifted me above his head and shouted at me, saying, “You are a fool! How dare you challenge me in my own kingdom? I put out my hand in friendship and you repay me by spitting on my words? Know that this day you will die and spend eternity here with me, dying every day forever and ever!” I could feel my life being released from me and I could do nothing to defend myself. I was paralyzed and could not move. As he squeezed my throat, I felt a burning as if liquid fire was passing through my veins. His appearance began to change in front of me. His eyes became solid black and his skin, a pale gray. He threw me with great force onto my back, slamming me onto the ground and jarring my body with tremendous pain. He walked backwards a few feet from me and stared at me with a glare of complete hatred. He then leaned forward and screamed out a horrific sound that sent total fear through me. The sound was deafening, and I felt as if I was about to die any second. Then the Holy Spirit called upon me and recalled the words that the Lord had spoken unto me, “I tell you also to strengthen yourself against the enemy. Do as David has said, getting on your knees and crying out by way of the Holy Spirit and then proclaiming with boldness the prayer, which I have given to mankind.” Return to Chapter Index Satan Attacks 16 Chapter 3 Though in great pain and with dread all about me, I forced myself to my knees. I lifted my hands up in prayer and I cried out in a loud voice to the Lord, “My God, Creator of the Heavens and the earth, please have mercy upon your servant and send Michael upon Michael!” In a flash, a fraction of a second, a great thunderous sound came upon me and the ground trembled and quaked violently. I looked up and there stood Michael, the magnificent being I had seen at the gates of the throne of heaven. With terrible force he landed upon the head of Satan and drove him into the ground as a peg into earth! He had in his right hand, the magnificent sword of light which was radiating glory. He began staring intently at the ground below him and joy overcame my heart! Suddenly Satan burst forth from the ground and tossed Michael like fine dust into the air. I trembled in fear as Michael was tossed aside. Satan looked at me and began laughing again, which sent shivers through me. He began to walk calmly to a distance roughly a hundred yards away from where I was knelt down. He slowly turned and faced me with the black hills behind him and the stream of fire to his left. He let out another scream that shook the whole ground around me. Fire rose from the stream beside him and the ground began to break open. A great cloud of ash blew forward like a great blast of heat being sent forth. Satan then began to change in form and size. His face, which had appeared human, began to break open and turned black as darkness itself. Then great wings appeared out of his sides and his mouth began to bring forth razor sharp teeth. He had become a great dragon of enormous size and unimaginable ferocity. He began to walk towards me and with each step he shook the ground and great fear seized me. I wanted to run, but could not move, nor could I cry or speak, for he was absolute evil in its purest form. He then asked me with evil sarcasm, “Is this not what you wanted to see, faithful man of God?” I could not answer, and I could not speak. Then suddenly out of nowhere, with great speed Michael powerfully thrust his shoulder into the great dragon’s side, knocking him off his balance. The dragon roared in anger as Michael took his sword and struck the dragon across the side of his head. The dragon violently swung his great tail around and swept Michael off his feet, slamming him powerfully to the ground on his back. The dragon quickly set himself directly above Michael in order to attack him with his razor-sharp teeth, but Michael struck the dragon with a great blow from his fist, dazing the dragon and staggering it back. The dragon then struck back with one of his clawed limbs and again, sent Michael through the air, casting him aside so that his path was not intruded. Return to Chapter Index Satan Attacks 17 Chapter 3 Then appeared another great and glorious angel with a great sword standing at the tail end of the dragon, and he struck the dragon on his hind leg. The dragon turned and struck the other angel and the angel flew through the air, nearly falling into the stream of fire. The dragon then thrashed around and fixed his gaze directly upon me. His eyes had become red, like the color of blood, and he began to charge at me in full stride. His size and power were overwhelming and as he picked up his speed, I knew that I was surely dead, for he had not been turned back by either Michael or the other angel. I cried out in a loud voice of desperation saying, “Save me Jesus. Help me my Lord!” The great dragon closed in on me and I could not move. I accepted my doom as inevitable as he drew within twenty feet of me at great speed, his mouth opened wide and his teeth laid bare before me. My heart seemed to stop beating and I felt death begin to overcome me as my breath abandoned me. My fate was indeed sealed and there was nothing to be done. Then behold, the Lord appeared directly in front of me, shielding me with His presence. He was magnificent in His appearance, clothed with the armor of a King! He lifted His hand and caught the dragon below its mouth. Then, with what seemed like little or no effort; He brought the dragon’s charge to a complete halt. The dragon screamed out, gnashing his teeth and snapping his jaws in the air. The Lord then proclaimed to the dragon, “Be gone evil one, for you shall not trouble him anymore this day.” The Lord then tossed the dragon aside as if throwing a grain of sand into the wind. The dragon fell into the stream of fire, which was some distance away. The dragon managed to catch the edge of the stream with one claw and was trying to make his way out, but Michael and the other angel struck the grip of the dragon with their swords, causing it to fall into the fire. The Lord turned and calmly said to me, “You are safe now for I am with you.” I then fell face forward into His arms and collapsed. He lifted me up like a child across His arms and began to fly upwards through the air. I heard the Lord say in a loud voice, “Michael and Gabriel come to me now.” I looked down and I saw the two angels flying below the Lord with their swords drawn and guarding downward as the Lord carried me through the heavens. I began to drift away from consciousness as I was being carried along. I saw visions of time and space, as the Lord appeared to be carrying me through all of existence - and I was overwhelmed in spirit and could not comprehend it. The Lord then carried me before the throne of God, and I heard Him speak to the Father. I looked up and I saw the Lord’s face and He seemed to have tears streaming from His eyes. Return to Chapter Index Satan Attacks 18 Chapter 3 I heard Him say to the Father, “The evil one has attacked Michael, and he has been greatly wounded. The deceiver appeared in my image, convincing him that he was condemned. But his faith has not failed, for by your mighty hand, he has stood this test.” I awoke from my vision and I was overwhelmed and could not speak for hours. I went outside in the dark, stumbling around as a drunken man, my body filled with great pain and terror running through my mind. Return to Chapter Index Journey to the Cross 19 Chapter 4 Journey to the Cross Chapter 4 After Satan attacked me, I began hearing the voice of the Lord, even when I was not having a vision. It was not audible, but more like He was speaking to my inner being and affirming His words through scripture, which He would use to teach and guide me. I was fearful of having another vision, for I had become quite ill from the vision of Satan attacking me. Many days passed before I felt physically, mentally or spiritually able to seek the Lord out again in deep prayer and meditation. The Lord sent me comfort through His voice, His Word and through other men of God, and by so doing He emboldened my spirit to seek Him out again. I prepared myself and held the word of the Lord upon my chest as I came to seek Him. I did all that the Lord had commanded me, out of fear of another attack. I cried out to the Lord, said His prayer, and asked for Michael to be sent upon Michael. I read and meditated upon Psalm Sixty-One, Hebrews Three and Hebrews Eleven as the Lord had commanded me. I sat in silence for quite some time and it seemed as if nothing was going to happen. Then I heard the voice of the Lord say unto me, “You must shut down your mind Michael and turn off your worldly thoughts. Look out into the darkness and you will find me, as I am to be found in the Spirit. Your mind cannot lead you to where I am to be found. Put away your fear and know that I am with you and have heard you.” I asked the Lord, “Lord, how do I do this thing you have commanded me? How do I shut down my mind and find you in the darkness? How is it possible for a man to clear his mind and thoughts of emotion?” The Lord then answered unto me and said, “It is not possible with man, but all is possible with God. Focus on that which made it possible for man and God to meet each other. Only there, will you find the peace you seek, for it is not possible for the mind of man to fully comprehend that moment of time and what took place there. Only the Holy Spirit of God working within you can reveal this and give you true peace in order to approach me.” I instantly understood that He was referring to the crucifixion of my Lord and Savior and the Cross at Calvary. I then looked out into the darkness with focus and steeled my mind. As I lay in silence and quietness, gazing out into nothingness, I began to see light - and before me appeared three crosses sitting upon a hill. I looked around me and I was standing on a road that was made up of dirt and broken stones. The road traveled up the hill and I again saw the three crosses, with the middle Cross being almost directly in front of me. Journey to the Cross 20 Chapter 4 I turned and saw the holy city of Jerusalem directly behind me. The large city gates were shut, and the city seemed eerily quiet. I did not attempt to approach or enter the city, but instead I began to walk towards the hill and the crosses that stood before me. As I walked along, I saw dry, parched land and mountains in the distance beyond the road in front of me. I drew near the foot of the hill, and a dark forest began to materialize. I became encircled and found myself entangled in heavy vines. I was again dressed in white and shielded with silver armor, armed with the golden sword and dagger at my sides as I had been on the path with the Lord in my first vision. I drew the sword and began to slice through the vines that entangled me. Once freed, I again began to move up the hill and toward the Cross. Then a voice called out my name and said to me, “So Michael, you have decided to be my enemy and align yourself with the Lord, have you?” I immediately recognized the voice and fear shot through me, as I knew it was the voice of the evil one! I thought to myself, “This time he will kill me.” I began to regret my decision to seek the Lord out in this way again. I looked around to try and find the voice, and there in front of me was a small boulder set in the ground along the path - and Satan was squatting on top of it. The area surrounding him was cleared of forest and vines and I could clearly see him. He was sitting crouched on top of the boulder as would a lion observing their prey. He had a different presence this time, appearing in the form of a man as before, but not as dominating. He was wearing dark clothing, with his hands and fingers decorated in jewelry. He appeared much more cunning - as opposed to powerful. The spirit of the Lord compelled me forward. I had no other path to take but to walk right past him, so I proceeded forth. I decided very quickly that should just try to ignore him, and neither answer him nor look upon him again. As I continued my walk, I began to hear ominous voices from within the forest in all directions around me. They were making strange sounds, as if many were crying out loud and it taunted me in my spirit. I gazed into the forest and began seeing dark shadows moving throughout it. The shadows darted in and out of the trees, as would the shadow of birds at the top of a sunlit forest. They were larger and much more ominous in nature however, and no sun was shining. I looked at the sword and dagger that I was carrying, and I lifted them up and held them before me. Some instinct was driving me, and I was on full alert, as a warrior preparing himself for an attack. I glanced over to locate Satan - who had not moved and was smiling at me with an evil grin. Out of nowhere, there stood before me an evil spirit or demon, and it lunged at me, nearly taking me off my feet. Return to Chapter Index Journey to the Cross 21 Chapter 4 I swung the sword across its midsection, and it leaned forward and screamed. I then took the dagger and sliced it across its throat, and it fell to the ground. I stood over it and then it faded to mist, floating back into the dark forest from which it had come. I looked up and Satan was standing directly in front of me. He began to clap his hands together, as if applauding me. He then said unto me, “Well done, for I did not expect you to do so well. You should be proud as you did not hesitate to slay my servant and send him back to the abyss from which I summoned him.” I turned away from him and began walking toward the crosses. As I was walking, Satan walked up beside me and began to taunt me. He said unto me, “The Lord you are going to worship, as you can see, did not destroy me. Have you never asked yourself why? His life and the lives of His followers are ones of great suffering, allegedly because of me, for the words He has spoken testify to this. I am still curious as to why you would follow this God. Is it not true that you desire to be strong, powerful and wealthy, and have all the things this world has to offer? Does not all of mankind? For this is how you were created, was it not? Tell me if I do not speak truth or how it is that I deceive you? Those who seek to ignore and put off such longings, fight against their very nature. They spend all the days of their futile life in suffering, desiring to have what they have been commanded to set aside and deny. Then their life leaves them, and they are told that if they did not obey, only worse suffering awaits them. Why did God not remove those desires from you, if He is the God of love that you see Him as being?” I desired to answer but I did not contain the wisdom to challenge his questions, and I felt the spirit guiding me to be silent and to ignore him. To speak with him at all was to give him power, this I had come to realize. I drew closer to the hilltop where the crosses stood and there appeared a great wall of light. The wall encircled the top of the hill and I began to see thousands upon thousands of angels of light, with Michael standing at the end of the path. Satan said unto me, “You remain silent, for you cannot answer the questions as you know not the answers. You follow what you do not see or understand and ignore that which is so obvious, believing it is wisdom. This is where you and I part company, but I am looking forward to our next visit.” He then vanished and the dark forest with him, and a bright sun began to shine. I stood at the entrance of the circle of angels and faced Michael. He clearly recognized me, and I felt a bond with him that I cannot explain. He was gentler in nature Return to Chapter Index Journey to the Cross 22 Chapter 4 compared to the other times I had seen him. He slowly stepped aside and pointed me forward, granting me access to the hilltop. I then saw the Lord Jesus Christ, hanging from the Cross without life, and I wept as I entered the area sealed off by the angels from the ground to the Heavens. My armor and swords were no longer with me and I was wearing only a long white robe, standing before the Lord, watching His blood pour down His body. In front of the Cross His blood was spread out across the ground. His Cross was made of light-colored wood, while the other two crosses glowed white. I wept bitterly and bowed down on my knees before Him. His body was badly beaten, and His arms appeared torn apart and limp. His face was bruised and cut, and a crown of thorns was embedded into His skin. One thorn sank into His left eyelid and His blood poured down His mouth and chin onto His chest. His head was leaning over to the left and the weight of His body brought His knees out. His palms were pierced with nails and His feet were crossed over one another with a large nail driven through the top of them. Out of His right side, just under the pit of His arm, was a huge tear with blood pouring down His body onto His right leg. I crawled to the foot of the Cross, weeping as I came forward, and could not contain my sorrow at what I was seeing. I gathered up His spilled blood mixed with dust and poured it on my head. I sat up on my knees and kissed His feet, which were blue, torn and covered with blood. I bowed my head to the dirt at the base of the Cross. His blood dripped down upon my head, and I wailed uncontrollably. I cried out in a loud voice, “Look at what they did to you, Lord! Why would they do such a terrible thing?” Anger at myself ran through me, because I knew the answer to my question. I knew it was my sin that brought this agony upon Him - and the shame was so unbearable that I wanted to throw myself off the hillside. Return To Chapters Index Return to Chapter Index Washing of the Lamb 23 Chapter 5 Washing of the Lamb Chapter 5 I could no longer stand to see Him like that, so I decided that I would take Him down. I had no understanding of what had happened and the events that had been recorded. All I saw and felt was the Lord Jesus Christ beaten and murdered, hanging on a Cross - and I wanted to free Him and cleanse Him. I needed to take care of Him and treat His body with kindness. I began thinking of how I could take Him down, without causing Him to fall, as I had no one to help me. I found a small stone and decided to first remove the nail from His feet. I went around the back of the Cross and beat against the nail until it came out, which caused His legs to fall straight. I prayed to Him as I was working, asking Him to forgive me if I was causing Him any pain or discomfort and asked Him to help me. I did not consider that I was talking to someone who appeared dead before me, knowing He heard my prayer. I removed the long white robe I was wearing and tore it in two. I covered my lower body with the lower half, so that I would not touch the Lord with the part that had been exposed to the dirt, as the robe was long and had dragged the ground when I bowed before the Lord. I took the upper half which had remained mostly clean and wound it up as a rope. I wrapped it around my neck, so that I could easily loosen it, making sure it would not fall from me. I climbed up the back of the Cross, grabbing the center piece with both hands. I then clamped the bottom center beam with the inner sides of my feet. I slowly climbed up, and then perched myself at the cross section, where the beams intersected. I took the upper part of the robe from around my neck and loosened it. I gently placed it under the Lord’s arms and across His chest, tied it to the backside of the center beam, and then fastened the top end to my waist to secure Him. I took the stone from my lower robe and removed the nail from His left hand, causing His arm to fall to His side - and the robe caught His weight. I made sure I was firmly secured before I removed the last nail, as the robe was to hold the full weight of His body once it was removed. I readied myself and then removed the nail from His right hand and His body dropped, but the robe prevented Him from touching the ground. With His weight bearing down on my waist, I crossed my legs over the center beams, with my arms holding fast to the robe across each side of it. I wrapped my right arm into the robe, so that when I released it from my waist, I could hold His body until I could get my left arm in place and let Him down softly. Return to Chapter Index Washing of the Lamb 24 Chapter 5 I took my left hand and untied the crossover knot from my waist, causing His weight to fall on my right arm and press my chest against the back and top side of the main beam. This nearly threw the Lord and I both to the ground, except for the strength of my legs wrapped around the cross-section. I wrapped my left arm in the slack of the robe created when I untied it from my waist, and slowly lowered His body to the ground. His legs folded gently to one side and His body rested upon the ground. I rested for a moment, relieved that I had not dropped Him harshly. I climbed back down the Cross and untied the robe from around His chest. I then took the robe and unfolded it and began to shake it in the air. It had dust and the Lord’s blood on it, and I tried to clean off the dust as much as I could. I took the robe and spread it out on the ground beside Him, and then proceeded to lift His upper body onto it first. After placing His head and upper body onto the robe, I lifted His waist and legs and placed them onto the robe as well. I knelt beside Him and wept as I looked upon His broken body. I began to break away the thorns from the crown that had been placed on His head. I carefully broke off the ones lodged into His skin and broke the crown into two pieces from the side, gently lifting His head to remove it. I wanted to throw it over the hill, but knowing it was precious I instead laid it beside His body on the robe. I could not stop weeping and tears continued to roll down my face. I took my right hand and gently moved away His hair away from His forehead and eyes. I began to look around to see where I could take Him to wash His body off and remove the blood and dirt from Him. I prayed out loud, asking Him which direction I should take Him. I walked around the hilltop, past the Cross that was to the left of His, and discovered a trail leading down the hillside. As I looked, I saw a small stream, and decided that I would take Him there to wash Him. I thought I would not be strong enough to carry Him in my arms that far and would have to drag Him on the robe. I took hold of the foot of the robe, but as I looked down upon Him, I could not bear the thought of my Lord being dragged across the ground. I bowed my Head and prayed that He give me the strength to carry Him in my arms, so that I would not bring disgrace to Him. I then knelt beside Him and with my right arm reached under His upper back, lifting Him onto my right knee and placed His upper body across it. I then reached under the backside of His upper legs and with my left arm placed the rest of His body across both knees. I leaned Him towards me and firmly embraced Him against my chest and upper arms, setting Him against me; then I stood straight up with Him. Return to Chapter Index Washing of the Lamb 25 Chapter 5 His weight strained my body and lower back, but I was determined in my heart to carry Him and kept asking Him to give me strength. I was able to carry Him to the place where the stream was running. When I got to the stream my body was exhausted, so I knelt down slowly and fell onto my backside, as if squatting. Then I sat down and held Him in my arms across my lap as a mother would a small child. I took a few moments to catch my breath, gain my composure and get my strength back. As I sat there, I looked down at Him and my sadness was great, as I thought about the amount of suffering that He had gone through, knowing my suffering amounted to nothing compared with His. He had done no wrong to anyone, and I had done so much. It was completely unfair, and I became very angry at myself - and the whole world - for what we were as a people; shameful in every way and unworthy of Him, having no regard for the true nature of who He was and why He came. Mankind, in all of our pettiness and selfrighteousness, sought glory only for ourselves and made Him out to be a byword, used without regard. We talked of Him as if He were a normal man and not with the Holiness of who He was and is, and I began to get angrier and angrier as I stared at Him. I looked around and saw nothing but barren desert. The setting reflected the emptiness and hopelessness I felt inside. I recalled how I always believed that I was not good enough for Him. Not because of the love He had for me, or the sacrifice He had made; rather I had felt that way because of my anger towards Him, and I never recognized the truth of it before. I was angry at Him because He was God and I was not, and because He expected me to be all of these things, and to follow all of these rules, designed to keep me from being happy; and if I couldn’t be what He wanted, I was to suffer for eternity. I did not know what love was, and even in the times that I attempted to follow His ways, it had always been out of fear and not out of love. This only served to make me angrier at Him, because I always failed, so that I did not even try any longer. I never truly considered the amount of love He had for mankind, or why He had come. Although the truth seemed simple, I never genuinely grasped it. All of this I pondered in my heart as I held Him in my arms, and I could not deny the true nature of who I had been in the sight of Him. Even as I held Him in death, His very presence brought forth a truth that love is greater than anything, and He was the only one who had ever reflected absolute love. I could now see plainly that He was love, and in love He had overcome all things that were evil. And yet, we are not able to completely comprehend the meaning of His love, or how great He was and is. I decided it was time to wash Him, and I gently sat His body on the ground beside the stream of water. I stood up and tore a piece of my bottom robe to use in order to wash Return to Chapter Index Washing of the Lamb 26 Chapter 5 Him. The water was light brown in color and not as clean as I would have liked, but I had nothing else to use so it would have to do. I stepped into the water, which went up to my waist, and then reached out and took hold of the edge of the robe, pulling His body closer to the edge of the stream. I said a few words to express my affection toward Him, and then dipped the torn piece of the robe into the water, soaking it wet and wringing it out. I began to wipe off the top of His head and His hair first, removing the blood that had now dried, along with the dirt and dust. I continued to dip the towel into the water and wash it as clean as I could, until I had washed His body down. Once the dust and dried blood was removed, I was able to see the severity of His wounds and how broken His body truly was, for it had been mostly concealed before. Return to Chapter Index The Victory of the Lord 27 Chapter 6 The Victory of the Lord Chapter 6 I looked upon Him and began to think about how the Mother Mary must have felt, seeing Her beautiful and gentle Son this way. If it shattered my heart to pieces, how much greater was her suffering? I began to understand why so many people revere her in the way that they do, as I could not even fathom the level of her pain. Her faith must have been great, as it was said that she comforted others - yet I could not find words to comfort anyone in this moment, as I had none to give. As I thought about these things, it suddenly dawned on me that I had no idea what to do next. I was so overwhelmed with feeling the need to take Him down and wash Him, that I had not thought about what I was to do with His body once I had done so. I turned away from Him and began to look around, remembering that He had been placed in a tomb carved into a hillside. I could not see anything that gave me a sense of direction to go to find a location to place Him. I said to unto myself, “What are you going to do now?” Then I turned back towards Him, and He was gone - only the remnants of the robe remained, with the dust lightly blowing on it! I began to weep and panic. Suddenly, I heard the Lord’s voice, and He said unto me, “Do not weep, for I have overcome the Cross, and the will of God has been done. The Light of eternal love overcame darkness in mankind, and my joy could be no greater.” I turned and behold, the Lord was standing in the water beside me, dressed in a white glowing robe, just as I had seen Him before. He had a warm and gentle smile on His face and the sun shone directly upon Him, and He said unto me, “I am glad to see you again.” I dropped to my knees in the water, which had become crystal blue and clean, and I asked Him, saying, “Forgive me Lord, are you the Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, King of Kings, Lord of Lords, the Christ, the Messiah, my Brother and my Friend?” I knew not how all His names came to me, but I felt the need to proclaim each one of them before Him. The Lord then gently laughed and answered unto me, “I AM,” and I kissed His hands. He held each side of my face within the palms of His hands and said unto me, “Do not fear, as all is well, and I summoned you here so that you may understand the purpose for which you have been called, as much wisdom is to be bestowed upon you and it must start here.” I began to weep with overwhelming joy at seeing His glory and His body restored. Return to Chapter Index The Victory of the Lord 28 Chapter 6 His face and touch were so gentle, and He said unto me, “Love does not fear and it does not condemn, it holds no record of being wronged and it cannot be changed as it is eternal and never ending. Love has no beginning, and through it, was put forth the creation of all things. Its boundaries cannot be measured, as it does not end. You will soon begin to understand the true nature of the light of God, as you have been a witness to it this day, and so you will be a witness to much more in love.” I said unto Him, “Lord, I am not worthy of your love and I have shown you no love, nor have I ever felt love. I do not possess the ability to know love because my heart has been dark since as long as my memory can reach back.” The Lord said unto me, “Love is not earned, nor can it be taken. Love is and was and is to come and nothing can change its course, for from it and through it all things exist and are held together.” I said unto Him, “Lord, forgive me, but I do not understand what you mean, for my mind cannot seem to grasp the meaning of the things you say.” He then said unto me, “I am going to baptize you, washing away your doubt and fear. When you arise, you will be taken on a journey with the Lord God and be shown many things, but first your heart and mind must be cleared. Do you understand this?” I said unto the Lord, “Yes Lord, I understand. I must be cleansed of my sins, before I can be present with the Father and you again.” The Lord then said unto me, “Already you are free from darkness, for that was the purpose for which I came. I baptize you to free you of your own fear and the limitations of your mind and heart - but the world has been cleansed of sin already.” I said unto Him, “Lord, I do not completely understand, but I would be honored to have you baptize me and take me wherever you wish. I love you as much as I know how to love, and more than I can even begin to express.” The Lord smiled and said unto me, “This I already know, and have known since the beginning of all things, so do not fear for I am with you.” He then said in a gentle voice, “Let your eyes be opened, your mind set free and your heart be filled with wisdom,” and then He laid me into the water. I saw the world flash before my eyes and I saw a timeless, endless darkness and a bright and shining light in the distance, which I knew was the glory of the Lord God Almighty. Return to Chapter Index The Beginning of the Beginning 29 Chapter 7 The Beginning of the Beginning Chapter 7 I was suspended in nothingness, with darkness all around me, except for the shining light in the distance. This darkness contained its own energy and felt as if it was pressing against me, holding me in a grip of some sort. I felt my hand being grabbed ahold of, and I looked to see the Lord to the left of me. He had taken hold of me with His right hand and had a gentle smile across His face. He then said unto me, “You are about to see and be told many things. Some you will understand and some you will not, but you will see them and hear them nevertheless.” I said unto Him, “I am ready Lord.” The shining light came upon us and took hold of the Lord; through Him, the light took hold of me as well. We were both drawn into the light, first the Lord and then I. We entered the light and the darkness was gone, along with the energy I had felt pressing against me. I was standing on nothing, but did not feel suspended either, as the shining light and I were of one substance, having no resistance between us. I saw the Lord in front of me and He had a smile on His face. The light was going right through Him, and I only knew who He was by the spirit, for I could not see Him in the image of a man as before. Then behold, the Father appeared beside Him, and great warmth fell upon me while my spirit felt a sense of utter relaxation. I bowed before them in the spirit and they began to speak to me in one voice. The Lord God said unto me, “Turn and face the darkness.” I turned and looked out from inside the light and saw the darkness, and I said unto the Lord God, “I see nothingness, emptiness and eternal darkness my Lord.” He said unto me, “You are correct, for nothing that is to be created has yet been.” Then I said unto the Lord God, “I do not understand my Lord, did you not create the darkness? For I have always been told that you were the Creator of everything my Lord.” The Lord God then said unto me, “Everything that ever was and ever will be, was created by my word, but the darkness was not. The darkness is the reflection of that which is without light and so by my will, I allowed it to stay within its boundaries until the time of my choosing. The darkness therefore, represents that in which I created all things and brought forth the light, yet the darkness had to remain, for in the eternal light all that is created ceases to be seen.” I said unto the Lord God, “I do not understand my Lord, forgive me.” Return to Chapter Index The Beginning of the Beginning 30 Chapter 7 And the Lord God said unto me, “Behold and you shall see with your own eyes and understanding you will have.” I felt my spirit pulled back and sat before the Lord God, directly in front of Him with my face looking out into the darkness from inside of the light. The Lord stepped forward and looked at me with a smile, and then I felt a great surge of energy rush through me and all throughout the place of light. The Lord surged forward through the light and penetrated the outer edges of it and leapt forth into the darkness as would a ray of light. He lifted His hands, speaking words of a language I did not understand, and great light shot forth which darkness began to flee from. I watched in amazement as the darkness was bent back, as if waters held back by a great dam, and the darkness groaned under the light of the Lord. I began to see great formations take place within the great light. Formations of great planets, stars and galaxies began to shape and spread out in the light, into the outer edges of the darkness. They moved very slowly, rolling forward, as would rocks sliding down a hill in slow motion. I saw all types of shapes, colors and lights begin to appear and it was more beautiful than anything I had ever seen. The darkness tried to push back against the light, bent on flooding in and destroying the beauty of the Lord God’s creation, and I felt it might be too strong for the light to withstand. I heard the voice of the Father, and He said unto me, “The light is much greater than the darkness and it will not be overcome.” I looked and saw that Lord was setting everything in its place and its vastness was beyond imagination, but I saw it all as if it were a painting on a board before me. The Lord said unto the Lord, “Let us free the darkness, so that our work may be finished,” and then behold; the darkness began to run throughout the creation like a river running through a city, but without causing it any harm. The darkness came rushing in, but it could not move anything that the Lord God had created or set in place. The Lord God had set beacons of light throughout His creation, to ensure that darkness could not prevail over all that He had created. The Lord God had created all things over the darkness and forced it to give up its vastness, and it could not resist His will. I saw myself looking down onto all the Lord God had made, and I was standing far above the darkness and the creation, while still enclosed in the light. The Lord God said unto me, “Open your eyes and see the vastness of the light that no one has known or understood.” I looked and I saw a great light that encircled the darkness, which was never-ending and vast. The darkness and the creation of the Lord God were encapsulated inside of Return to Chapter Index The Beginning of the Beginning 31 Chapter 7 the light, enclosed and surrounded with no chance of escape. The darkness appeared as only the eye of a great hurricane, with an eternal cloud of light circling it in motion. I said unto the Lord God, “Lord, my eyes see what my thoughts could not imagine. All of creation and all that I have known to be vast and endless are but a mere shadow of the eternal light. The darkness appears to have been as a single sheet of paper, which the Lord God chose to draw upon.” Questions raced through my mind and I began to ponder the meaning of all that I was seeing. How did it all relate to mankind, the Holy Bible and all that I had ever known and perceived as truth? I felt overwhelmed in my spirit, as I could not comprehend the vastness and enormity of it all, and I felt lost. The Lord God said unto me, “Do not be troubled, for the wisdom you seek will be given to you and you will understand all things that you have seen and been told.” I saw myself being led by the light throughout the creation and shown the beauty of it all. I saw great planets, magnificent stars and endless arrays of colors, shapes and images beyond the imagination. All of it set inside of itself, limited to its own purpose, yet tied together as part of a greater purpose. The Lord God took me to the face of a massive planet at the very edge of where the outer light and the darkness met. The size of it was enormous and it contained nothing but the ambient light that shined from the rest of the creation. I was taken down to the surface and there was nothing to be seen other than solid rock with mountains, canyons and flat lands. I saw no water, no sky, no trees, and no plants or grass. There was no breeze, sun or moon and the planet was dead, without any life. The Lord God led me to a high mountain and set me down at the face of a huge cave with a long and massive cliff leading out to the edge of the great mountain. I looked down and behold; the height of it was unimaginable, for I could see the face of the planet forever from where I stood. The depth to the bottom was beyond my ability to measure. The Lord God took my hand and led me inside the mouth of the cave and the darkness illuminated in His presence, so that I could see out in front of me as I walked with Him. The cave was vast, going on forever - and its walls, ceiling and floor were beyond my sight. The Lord God stopped and turned around, facing the direction towards which we had entered, and He said unto me, “Sit and watch for I am about to show you the answer to one of the questions that you seek to know.” The Lord God then smiled, being fully aware of what I was about to see, and He appeared to find it humorous as to what my reaction was going to be. Return to Chapter Index The Beginning of the Beginning 32 Chapter 7 I found that to be a peaceful reassurance in my spirit, to know that the Lord God was gentle, and that He understood my being only a man and found humor to be good in His sight. Return to Chapter Index The Eternal Throne Established 33 Chapter 8 The Eternal Throne Established Chapter 8 Then I heard a gentle whisper come forth from the Lord God in the same language that He had spoken before, yet this time I understood the words contained in this gentle whisper - He said: “Let there be life.” Then a floating mist of light proceeded forth from the mouth of the Lord God, which reminded me of a trail of star dust, for I know not how else to describe it. The mist of light traveled slowly through the cave, leaving a trail of light behind it as it went forward, and I watched in anticipation as to what its purpose was. I saw it exit the cave, then disperse and spread out into the vastness of the planet, losing some of its light as it did so. Time seemed to stop at that moment, and there was a great silence. The trail of light stayed suspended within that moment. Then behold, a great and sudden flash of light exploded before me and its energy was awesome, yet I was not blinded by it. I saw in the vast distance, a wall of light rushing towards the cave at great speed. It grew brighter and brighter the closer it drew towards the cave, and it covered over all the details of the land that I had seen before. The great light rushed into the cave, yet its brightness and power had become so great that I had to look away, for it had become too much for my eyes to behold. I felt a surge go through me and felt as if I could not breathe. I cried out to the Lord, “Lord, please Help me for the light is choking me!” Then the surge stopped, silence returned, and I could breathe again. I heard the voice of the Lord God and He said unto me, “Do not be afraid. Raise your eyes and see what I have created before you.” I lifted my head and I was amazed at what I saw. Behold, laid out before me was the throne room of the Lord God, and the great golden gates that I had entered with the Lord in my first vision! I looked up and discovered that I was sitting upon the great red steps before the throne of the Lord God. He was sitting upon the throne in all His glory, with the great angels standing behind Him. I cried out to the Lord God, “Lord, how can this be? What is this that my eyes have seen? Is your throne established inside the creation, Lord?” Return to Chapter Index The Eternal Throne Established 34 Chapter 8 The Lord God said unto me, “My throne is established inside of the creation for the purpose of which I established it, so that the darkness may know that I am the Lord God and I dwell forever within it. With the eternal light of love it was created, and in love it is forever established.” I said unto the Lord, “Lord, please forgive me, but how can this be, for where is this written, that such things have taken place?” The Lord God said unto me, “Is it not written that my word will go forth and accomplish the purpose for which I sent it, and that it will not return to me until it has done so? There is much more for you to see and know and much is yet to be revealed. Let us walk together, so that you may behold what I have done.” The Lord God rose from His throne and stood towering above me as would a great giant, and all the throne room shook as He stood. The angels began to cry out and sing songs of glory and praise to Him, and I bowed down before Him. I felt the hand of the Lord take hold of my right hand and He said unto me, “Come and I will show you what I have done before you.” I rose and behold, the Lord was standing beside me, appearing in the image of a Man as I had seen in my earlier visions, gently smiling, and I felt comfort with Him. We began to walk towards the golden doors, and I could see nothing else in the presence of the throne room besides the angels. I did not see the white table, the pillars, or Adam and Eve as I had before. As we approached the golden gates, they began to open outwards this time, instead of fading away as before when I had entered them. I looked and I saw two massive angels pushing the doors open and the great angel Michael, standing on the path of transcendent light and cloud which before had been a great cliff. He was bowed low, and as before, had His hands placed together before the Lord as if in prayer. The Lord said unto him, “Go now and summon the guardian of the darkness and bring him before me,” and at once, Michael departed in flight, as if an arrow of light and was quickly beyond my vision. Michael did not seem to notice me as he had before. I then asked the Lord, “Lord, I did not feel that Michael knew that I was here, as if he did not perceive me?” The Lord said unto me, “That is because you do not yet exist. Come now and see what I have brought you to see,” and I realized what He was saying, and it astonished me. We began walking together and I again saw the endless array of angels before me, yet I also saw a beautiful sky above them, which I had not seen before. I looked closer at them and they had no armor, nor were they equipped with any weapon. They were Return to Chapter Index The Eternal Throne Established 35 Chapter 8 glowing with light. The color of their skin and the white of their eyes appeared the same, but they did not seem to be of a warrior breed as before. The Lord said unto them, “Go now and take light into the creation and deliver life unto it.” In a flash, they were gone, and where millions had been there was not one left in my presence. Then suddenly, all the creation of the planet appeared, which had been hidden from my eyes by the glory of the angels, before the Lord had sent them away. The Lord asked me, “What do you see?” I could not answer Him as I was in awe at what the Lord God had done to this barren planet of rock with only a whisper. The Lord again said unto me, “If you can hear me tell me what you see.” I looked at Him and He was smiling towards me with that look of amusement He had displayed before. I said unto Him, “Forgive me Lord, for I was speechless before you because of what I see. I see beautiful waterfalls, rivers, streams and lakes. I see green trees, plants and grass. I see beautiful flowers, fruits and the colors of rainbows throughout it all. I see glorious white mountains and the color of gold, diamonds, gems and rubies made of all colors throughout it, and it goes on forever and ever in my sight Lord.” Return to Chapter Index Journey through Heaven 36 Chapter 9 Journey through Heaven Chapter 9 The Lord said unto me, “Come, so that we may look closer.” He let go of my hand and sprang forth off the cliff and soared high above the land, as would a great eagle, and I watched in amazement. The Lord said unto me, “Come and fly with me.” I said unto Him, “Lord, I cannot fly, as I am not you.” I then looked and I had two great white wings as did the angels, and the Lord said unto me, “Come now and let’s see it together. Jump out and fly by my side.” He reached His hand to me and I leapt towards Him - and began to fall towards the ground far below. I cried out to the Lord, “Lord, I am falling to the ground and cannot fly!” The Lord said unto me, “Wings are of no use if you do not choose to use them.” I spread the wings out from my sides and in an instant, was soaring upwards and made my way to where the Lord was waiting for me, feeling relief in my spirit. The Lord said unto me, “Follow me and we will enjoy this place together,” and He soared down towards the land below and I followed with great eagerness. We landed upon a small cliff covered in green grass with a river of clear blue water running beneath it. The river was roughly a thousand feet below us, and at the end of it I saw a waterfall that rose into white clouds, which were much higher than the cliff where we were standing. I looked out from the edge of the cliff with the Lord standing to my left, and I saw beautiful meadows with layers of beautiful flowers that went on forever. In the middle of the meadows were fruit trees that were gathered in spots throughout the meadows. The fruits they bore were of all kinds of shapes, colors and sizes and looked very pleasing to the eye. The Lord asked me, “Do you enjoy swimming?” I answered, “Yes my Lord, I do enjoy swimming from time to time.” He then said unto me, “Let us swim together.” He dove from the edge of the cliff into the water below, and I followed right behind Him, having no fear at all. Return to Chapter Index Journey through Heaven 37 Chapter 9 The Lord went into the water at great speed and I prepared myself for the force of the water. When I entered the water however, I felt no force upon me at all and the water had no resistance toward me. I felt perfect coolness in the water, and it was so clear that I could see the Lord in front of me. There was no distortion of my vision and it amazed me. I did not expend any energy as I swam, and the water was refreshing in such a way that I cannot clearly explain. The Lord surfaced from the deep and I followed up behind Him. He stood before me with a bright smile on His face and was completely dry from His waist up. I looked and saw that the place where I had come up, which had been deep, now only came up to my waist, and I was also dry from the water line up. The Lord asked me, “Did you enjoy that swim?” I said unto Him, “Yes Lord, that I did,” and He smiled, turned and began walking towards the great waterfall and I followed behind Him. As we walked, I got a closer look at the trees that were growing beside the waters and saw they were perfectly made. There was no decay or dryness in their leaves and their fruit was perfectly shaped, unlike anything I had ever seen before. I turned my attention back to the Lord as He came up towards the base of the waterfall and then stopped and waited for me to come up beside Him. The Lord said unto me, “Spread out your wings and follow me,” and He went into the waterfall, flying upwards in the midst of the water. I stood there stunned for a second, and then followed Him up the waterfall. I flew through millions of gallons of water crashing down from great heights, but I felt no resistance. This place contained all the wonders of the earth without the natural laws that governed the earth. We came out of the top of the waterfall and the Lord and I stopped, suspended above it and behold, I saw an enormous crystal blue river flowing into the waterfall. Each side of it held great forests of trees that looked majestic. The Lord landed where the river became a waterfall and I landed beside Him, and we were both completely dry. I realized that the air was neither cold nor warm and I felt a gentle breeze, but it did not serve to change the temperature around me, neither heating me up, nor cooling me off. The Lord began to walk towards the riverbank in the direction left of us as we faced the river with the waterfall behind us, and I followed behind Him. We walked onto the shoreline and I felt the grass against my bare feet. It was lighter than cotton and didn’t cause me any discomfort whatsoever, nor did I seem to cause it any by walking upon it. Return to Chapter Index Journey through Heaven 38 Chapter 9 The Lord then reached a small, beautiful fruit tree and sat down beneath it, and so I sat down beside Him. He then took a piece of fruit from the tree and bit into it, offering me some and I bit into it as well. The taste of the fruit was unlike anything I had ever tasted before. With just one bite of it I was filled, and I had no cravings for more. I said unto the Lord, “Lord, I do not need any more of the fruit, so what shall I do with what is left, as I do not wish to throw it aside and waste it?” The Lord said unto me, “Set it down on the ground beside you and do not be troubled with what remains,” and so I did. I looked up at the Lord and He was smiling at me, so I looked back where I laid the fruit and it was gone. It had grown back again at the place from which the Lord had taken it, and I was perplexed. The Lord said unto me, “Do not be perplexed by what you see, for that which I give freely to you and you freely accept, will never perish, but will always be replenished. But that which is taken, without being offered or accepted in love will always perish. Apart from love, there is not life and all that does not contain love within it is forever corrupted and cannot withstand the light of life, in which it was created.” I asked the Lord, “Lord, is this the Heaven where people go when they die if they have believed in you?” The Lord said unto me, “It is the place that was created for that purpose, but there is still much for you to see and hear before you will understand this completely.” I said unto the Lord, “Lord, I am overwhelmed in my spirit at all that I have seen however, I am ready to go with you and see and hear whatever you would have me see and hear.” The Lord smiled and said, “Your faith is growing and your resistance to my love is being overcome, so that the light may reveal more to you. Come now and let us return to the throne room, as we will be here many more times together.” I was in an instant standing again before the throne, and the Father sat upon it while the Lord stood to my left. Then I heard the sound of a great trumpet being blown. I turned to see the golden gates being opened, and the angels began to shout and sing praises of joy to the Lord God. The Lord walked me to the top of the steps before the throne and sat me down directly before the Father. He then became light again, and He and the Father became united. I saw the great angel Michael walking towards the throne of the Lord God and beside Him was a large creature of strange and distorted appearance, cowering before the throne. It contained the first shadow I had seen in this place. Return to Chapter Index Journey through Heaven 39 Chapter 9 Michael came before the steps of the throne with the strange creature beside Him and bowed Him down before the Lord God. Michael then turned and walked back towards the golden gates, and as before He did not perceive my presence. The strange creature remained bowed with His face to the ground before the Lord God and said unto Him, “Lord God what have I done that you have brought this assault upon me? Have I not stayed in the darkness and not allowed it to come forth into the light, which you have commanded me to do?” The Lord God said unto Him in a thunderous voice, “You know that you have committed evil with the darkness, attempting to resist my creation, not wanting the darkness to be used by the light. The darkness has remained for the very purpose of the creation I chose to bring forth, and you were to be the guardian of it until the time I had chosen. Instead of being a faithful guardian of the darkness, you have chosen for the darkness to be the guardian of yourself, making yourself subject to it. Therefore, lord over you the darkness shall be, until the time that I choose to cast it and all that abides in it into the great light, which you have chosen to despise. Your name is now Satan, for you are the one that chose to oppose me and yet was not consumed by the light, for the benefit of my creation.” The creature now named Satan, kept his face bowed down and said nothing. The Lord God said unto him, “Be gone from my presence until I choose to summon you again.” The trumpets blew again, and the golden gates were opened. Michael came forth and took hold of Satan. He took him out of the throne room and then cast him back into the darkness from which he had been summoned. I asked the Lord God with my head bowed low before Him, “Lord God, please forgive me, but why did you not destroy that creature this day? I do not understand why you would allow him to oppose the love and light that you have brought forth? I also do not understand why there was a guardian appointed to protect the darkness?” The Lord God said unto me, “It is not yet time for that to be revealed. You will soon see and hear more, and you will have the answers that you seek. Return to your appointed time and place, remembering what you have seen and heard, knowing that the Lord God is a God of Eternal Light, which is the essence of Love.” I awoke from my vision and was in a state of shock over all that I had seen and heard. My mind could not comprehend the vastness of it all. Return to Chapter Index The Garden of the Lord 40 Chapter 10 The Garden of the Lord Chapter 10 In a vision sometime later, I came unto the Lord and He was standing beside a beautiful tree. The tree was positioned in a place surrounded by a pool of crystal-clear water, and from all sides the water surrounded the tree and then exited into a flowing stream. The entire place was majestic and beautiful, and there was a sense of purity in the air that is difficult to describe. The tree was not very large; perhaps two times the height of a man, but it was very vibrant and gleaming with beautiful fruit. I could not identify the fruit, as I had never seen any shaped in that form or color. In front of the tree, where the Lord was standing, was a small waterfall that fell into an open pool of water which flowed around the land where the tree was placed, before running into a stream behind us. The place was walled-in by canyon rocks that shined, as if they contained silver and diamonds. The Lord was standing in front of the tree with His back towards it and His face towards the waterfall, which formed the pool of water. I approached Him from the far side of the tree, coming up to His right side. I stood beside Him and gazed as He stared with admiration at the water fall and the pool of water. He looked very peaceful. The whole place was very peaceful and quiet and there were no frustrations of any kind. As I stood beside the Lord in silence, I looked closely at all the surroundings. The water was clear, not even blue, just clear and pure. The waterfall was not high, and it fed right out of the canyon wall. The grass, flowers and plants were very vibrant and healthy. The walls, although made of rock, somehow shined. After a moment had passed, the Lord looked over, smiled and said unto me, “Welcome to my Garden on Earth.” I smiled back at Him and said, “Thank you my Lord,” and I dropped to my knees before Him and greeted Him by His names. I kissed His hands and feet and He took me by the hand, lifting me back up to my feet and I stood beside Him once again. I asked Him, “Lord, what is this place?” The Lord answered unto me saying, “This is the Garden of Lord, which is called Eden. Behind us, is the Tree of Life. Do you find it a peaceful place to be?” Return to Chapter Index The Garden of the Lord 41 Chapter 10 I said unto Him, “It is very beautiful and peaceful Lord, and much different than I had imagined. Although I am not certain of what I had imagined. It is better than that, whatever it was.” He then smiled and said unto me, “Yes, it is beautiful here, and I made it to be peaceful and relaxing for the Man and Woman to live here forever, so that they would feel honored and loved here in my presence.” I did not know what to say, so I remained silent and just listened, as He had deep emotion in eyes as He spoke to me. The Lord said unto me, “Come and I will show you more, for we are in the center only and there is much more to see.” He began to walk towards the stream of water, and I followed. As we walked towards the path, I noticed a second tree that stood on the island, some distance from the first. I asked the Lord, “Lord, is this the infamous tree of the knowledge of good and evil?” The Lord said unto me, “It is so.” I stopped and looked at it more closely - and although the tree was exactly like the vibrant and healthy Tree of Life, it possessed only one single piece of fruit. I thought to inquire to the Lord as to why this was, but something made me just want to get away from it as it frightened me so. I followed the Lord as He walked across the stream. On the other side was a narrow strip of grassy land, which ran parallel between the stream and the canyon wall. We proceeded down the strip of grass, with the water fall behind us and the two trees and stream to our right side. As we walked, I noticed that the stream flowed gently and had no rocks or deposits that you would expect to see in a stream. There were no wild grasses or plants that sprang forth, nor did I see any type of creature or life in the water. I found it quite odd, but also magnificent. The Lord led me into a huge orchard of trees that had small canals of water running throughout them, fed from the main stream. The orchard trees were smaller than the two trees by the waterfall, and were full of various kinds of fruits, endless in number. The grass around the trees was very green and perfectly manicured and maintained. At the bottom of the trees, grew all kinds of flowers in various shapes and colors. The strips of grass that lay between the rows of trees and water canals allowed for plenty of room for us to walk without stepping into the water or on the flowers. The whole garden appeared to be well maintained, organized and designed for pleasure. As I walked behind the Lord, I heard laughter coming from beyond the trees. I looked around, but did not see anyone, so I asked the Lord, “Lord, I hear laughter from beyond the trees. Who is it that is laughing?” The Lord turned towards me and answered unto me saying, “That is Adam and Eve, and we are going to visit with them.” Return to Chapter Index The Garden of the Lord 42 Chapter 10 I was unable to reply; it was amazing to me that I was there in the Garden of Eden with the Lord and going to visit Adam and Eve. I said unto the Lord, “Lord, is it good for me to be here in this place, in their presence?” The Lord answered me saying, “It was for mankind that I made this Garden, therefore, let us go and visit.” The Lord turned to the right, away from the stream of water and into the orchard of trees, and I followed closely behind Him. He guided us through the trees and we came out to a large opening of grass and another pool of water, being fed by another waterfall that came from the cliff wall. There were flowers, green grass and smaller trees around the pool of water. I saw beautiful birds of all shapes and colors, flying back and forth throughout the garden and over the falls. I saw a ledge that protruded out below the waterfall and above the pool of water. I looked at the ledge, and behold, there sat Adam and Eve on the ledge together. They were laughing and gently teasing a butterfly. I was stunned by their beauty and form. They were perfectly made and without any noticeable defect; completely naked, but their bodies were so beautiful that I did not feel embarrassed by their nakedness. They were very muscular in their form. Both had flowing blonde hair, with Adam’s at shoulder length and Eve’s to the middle of her back. They had no body hair that I could see and were perfectly groomed. Their skin was bronze-colored, but not as if it had been tanned by the sun. Adam was large in his frame and a foot taller than Eve. The color of their eyes was dark brown, both being the same, and they looked like twins to me. The Lord walked to edge of the pool and they suddenly noticed His presence. With child-like joy, they leapt to their feet and dove into the pool of water, swimming as fast as they could to get to Him. When I saw their eagerness, I thought to myself, “They revere the Lord and respect Him as much as I do.” As I was thinking this, the Lord turned to me having known my thoughts, and He gently smiled and said unto me, “No, you misunderstand what you see,” and for a moment, I felt shame and I was not sure why. The Lord turned back towards the water as Adam and Eve were exiting the pool. They ran to the Lord, but did not bow to Him - instead, they jumped into His arms and began to hug Him and kiss Him on the cheeks, like He was their long-lost friend. They did not notice me or sense my presence in any way that I could tell. They gathered up flowers and brought them to Him. Eve made a necklace out of some and placed it over the Lord’s neck, and I watched in amazement. They had absolutely Return to Chapter Index The Garden of the Lord 43 Chapter 10 no idea as to who the Lord was or what power He possessed, treating Him as if He were just like them. They began to pull on His hands, leading Him towards the pool of water - and without hesitation, the Lord dove into the pool and Adam and Eve followed behind. They started splashing the water at one another and playing like children, and I could do nothing but watch in amazement and perplexity. They had absolutely no fear of the Lord, and the Lord did nothing to show His power, might or glory before them. He was as much a child with them as they were with Him. It was difficult for me to watch the Lord - whom I had just seen create the entire universe, command mighty angels and battle Satan - now swimming and playing like a child. I sat down in the grass and flowers, watching silently for some time. After they swam for a while, they exited the pool on the side across from where I was sitting and began to dry off. Adam went and gathered fruit, as Eve and the Lord sat down in the warmth - which was contained in the Garden, as there was no sun and only clear blue skies above. Adam quickly returned and they sat down and began to eat the fruit together, without praying first - which bothered me, but I did not know why. I expected Him to make them give thanks, but He did not do so. As they finished eating, Adam stood up and walked a short distance away from the Lord and Eve, and made a whistling noise. Seconds later, to my amazement, three beautiful white horses came forth from within the tree orchard. They were walking and not running, and just as Adam and Eve, they were also flawless and perfect, without any blemish or defect. They were so white that they almost glowed. The horses walked right up to them as they stood together, resting their heads on their shoulders. Adam and Eve petted them slowly and affectionately. After a few moments, the horses bowed low and they climbed on their backs gently, riding off into the tree orchard, laughing and shouting. After a moment, I could no longer see or hear them. I found myself sitting there alone and I felt a little uneasy in my spirit. I began to wonder why the Lord was acting this way and what His purpose was for bringing me here. Of course, I did not yet know what the purpose was for all that I had seen, so I guessed that this was no different. This place was full of comfort; even the grass and flowers felt like the softest fabric, just as they had in Heaven. I laid down in the bed of flowers and stared into the sky, with many thoughts going through my mind. The sky was a clear blue with no clouds, and although there was light, it was not like the light from the sun, as it did not radiate, as would light that you normally see across the skyline. The Garden of the Lord 44 Chapter 10 I felt very peaceful, safe and without worry, and I wondered how the world would be if it was all just like this place. I wondered how the world would react to the Lord, if they had seen Him like I had just seen Him. It did not take me long to realize that the world would reject Him, because they already had. They did not understand who He was, and neither had I. As these thoughts went through my mind, I began to feel myself falling into a peaceful drowsiness, and I shut my eyes and quickly fell into a restful sleep. Return to Chapter Index The Great Forest 45 Chapter 11 The Great Forest Chapter 11 I awoke lying on a rock surface, with the Lord sitting a few feet away from me, staring out into the distance. I sat up, and the Lord looked over and said unto me, “Come and look down and see what I see.” I rose to my feet and walked over to Him and sat down beside Him. We were sitting on the edge of a very high cliff. I looked down and saw the entire garden below, and it was vast and very beautiful. I said unto the Lord, “It is very beautiful Lord and I am very grateful that you have brought me here with you.” The Lord smiled and said unto me, “You have much more to see and now we must leave the garden, we shall return here again.” He and I stood up, gazed over the garden’s beauty once more. Then the Lord turned and began to walk away from the edge of the cliff, and I followed Him. In front of us there was a short tunnel that was formed at the beginning of the cliff, which took us through to the other side of the cliff wall. The Lord walked us into the tunnel and when we came out of the other side, there was another cliff, very similar to the one we had just left - except it had a much different view. There was a small boulder on the right edge of the cliff and the Lord sat down on top of it, crossed His legs, and asked me to sit. I did so, on the ground at the foot of the boulder in front of Him. The Lord asked me what I saw as I looked out from the edge of the cliff. I said unto the Lord, “Lord, I see an open field that runs up to the side of this cliff wall on one side and on the other side of the field, I see a very large forest of great trees, which are higher than we are, with tops that are above the clouds. To the left of us Lord, I see the cliff wall turn in towards the great forest of trees and there is an opening where I see another great tree, which is separated by a small distance from the others and is smaller in its size. To the right of us Lord, I see only the continuous field, which is enclosed by the cliff wall on one end, and the great forest of trees on the other end.” The Lord then said unto me, “Good, then let us go down to the great forest of trees and sit and talk at the foot of the smaller tree.” He got up from the boulder and offered me His hand, helping me to my feet. Return to Chapter Index The Great Forest 46 Chapter 11 The cliff was very high, and I asked the Lord how we were going to get down. He answered unto me, “We will fly down,” and I saw that I had wings again. The Lord then smiled and said unto me, “Come now and do not be afraid. Follow me,” and He leapt from the edge of the cliff and soared like an eagle across the field, landing beside the great forest of trees. I spread my wings and fell forward from the edge of the cliff as The Lord had, gracefully landing beside Him. Once I landed my wings disappeared and I was again wearing just the white robe, standing at the Lord’s right side. We were slightly to the left of the center of the great forest of trees, towards the end where the smaller tree stood apart. I stared at the trees and was very impressed by their great size. Their trunks were massive, being so large that one side could conceal ten men standing beside one another in any direction. The tops of the trees could not be seen from the ground as they were hidden in a line of clouds above. The limbs were very strong and intermingled from one tree to the next, forming a web that interlocked one tree to the other. The trees had no leaves growing on them but were very much alive - like trees in the wintertime. The forest was not that large in its overall size, perhaps half a mile long, with a depth less than that. As we walked into the forest towards the smaller tree at the end, I saw that there were only twelve trees in each row, although their size had made the forest appear to hold many more. I could vaguely see beyond the forest line, that which I could not see from the cliff. Although not clear, it appeared to be another field, with a large stream and a smaller tree, standing alone on top of a small hill, and a forest of smaller trees to the right of it. While we slowly walked among the great trees, the Lord would touch each one as we passed by them, almost pausing as He did so. He seemed to have a bond with them and was attached to them in some personal way. I felt the need to remain quiet and simply observe. I did not speak while we walked, and instead followed closely behind Him. We finally came to the far-left end of the forest, into a small opening of grass where the smaller tree was standing. The smaller tree was also great in size but was roughly half the width and height of the other trees in the great forest. There was a slight sink in the ground where it was growing. The smaller tree was also different, and full of green leaves with various fruits growing from its limbs. From where we stood at the opening in the forest, I could now see the other side of the great forest and the cliff wall clearly. I had judged correctly in what I thought I had seen, which was a small field that ran from the great forest of trees to a large blue stream. I also observed a larger field that Return to Chapter Index The Great Forest 47 Chapter 11 ran up a hill, with a small tree at the top left, and a large forest of smaller trees off in a distance from the right of it. The large stream ran parallel to the forest line, but it broke into a smaller stream in front of the smaller tree of the great forest, and it ran up the hill and around the small tree on top of the hill. Beyond that, I could not see how far the large forest of smaller trees or the large stream ran, parallel to the great forest of trees. The Lord walked down the small incline of the smaller great forest tree and laid His hands upon the trunk of it, looking up at it with a smile across His face. He turned around with His back towards it and sat down at the base of the tree, facing the forest that was behind me. He then motioned me over to Him, saying unto me, “Come now and talk with me for a while, as it is time for me to give you wisdom and understanding about what you have seen and heard, and what you are still to see and hear.” I walked over and sat down beside the Lord and waited for Him to begin to speak to me. Whenever the Lord would speak with me, He always caused me to listen in a way that gave me wisdom and a sense of worthiness. He had a mysterious gentleness, patience and kindness when He spoke, and He left me without any doubt as to the absolute authority, wisdom and power of His words. He had not ever commanded or spoken to me in a way that made me feel like I was being ruled over, even though He was the King of Kings and was the Lord Almighty. His voice, eyes and words always conveyed love, peace and understanding - and there was no judgment or condemnation of me in His presence. There was no pride, conceit or arrogance in Him, as was always to be found even in the humblest of men, and particularly men of great power and influence. He was so different, and I imagined how much His demeanor and speech must have amazed the people of Judea and Samaria when He walked among them, as it was something that I had never witnessed from any person I had ever spoken with. I was always eager to hear Him speak about anything He wanted to say. And so He began to speak and He called me by my name, saying unto me, “Michael, listen closely to my words, so that you may know and understand what you have seen and heard. For I have called unto you for this very purpose, so that you may write down all of these things and share them with those who seek me. Many generations of mankind have passed by since the time of the reconciliation and I have heard the cry of my people, as they seek to find me in the new world that mankind has built. I have chosen to speak unto them through The Holy Spirit, and you are to write these things down, calling it the Book of Michael and giving it unto the world.” Return to Chapter Index The Great Forest 48 Chapter 11 I then said unto the Lord, “Lord, I am trembling in fear at what you are saying. I am not a saint, a theologian or even a scholar of Your Word Lord. I have not walked in your footsteps, nor have I lived as a man of faith should. The notion that I would be chosen to write down the Word of the Lord, is too great for my heart and mind to conceive, my Lord. I am fearful that I would commit great shame to your Holy name, and that this shame would be greater than I can bear, for I fear your judgment upon me if I have not clearly heard your word my Lord, or that I may be deceived and commit the worst of sins.” The Lord then placed His hand upon my shoulder, and said unto me, “I do not choose those who are great, wise or held in high regard to the world. I choose the weak, the lost, the shamed and the humble. For in them is the spirit of surrender and humility. Those who see themselves as the wise, the rich and the intelligent need not know me, for they are their own God. I tell you the truth, even those who have been called by me to lead the church, would not be able to write what you have seen, for they would be much too fearful of their judgment. I do not give you this wisdom and knowledge so that the world will love me. I give you this wisdom and knowledge so that the world will know that I love them and have not forsaken them. For it is written that my sheep hear my voice, and I know them and they follow me; so then do not fear, for my sheep will know the truth of the words I have called you to write down. Those who do not know my words are not my sheep and they do not know me, nor have they ever known me. But know in your heart, mind and soul, that I have called you for this purpose. Have faith and believe what you see, do not see what you believe. Now prepare your heart, for I am going to explain to you what you have seen and heard and entrust you with much wisdom - and write it down you will.” I answered unto the Lord, “Lord, I will obey your commands, for I love you Lord and I wish to please you. I will do so with great fear and trembling, but I have faith that you will guide me by way of your spirit, and I pray Lord that you not let your servant be led astray.” The Lord then said unto me, “In trembling and fear have all of my words been written by mankind. It takes great faith, courage and trust, and these gifts have been given unto you, so that the guardian of the darkness will not cause you to fall. Know that I am with you, just as I have been with all those before you, and do not fear.” The Lord smiled and began to look around. Then His face began to change, as if He had great sorrow in His heart and I felt like weeping inside because of it. He began to speak and explain many things, and I sat there amazed and overwhelmed by all that I heard. Return to Return to Chapter Index Chapter Index The Wisdom of the Lord 49 Chapter 12 The Wisdom of the Lord Chapter 12 The Lord said unto me: “The Great Forest represents the chosen faithful among mankind. Each tree is a symbol of their faith, strength and courage to follow me and to seek me out in a world of darkness. The width of each tree reflects their steadfastness and determination, for their roots of faith are deep and their love for me is everlasting. They would not be moved by the winds, nor could the changing seasons of the world slow their growth. The limbs that grow from each tree represent the bond of the faithful and their dependence on each other, so that the ones that came before would strengthen the ones that came after. The soil in which they are planted is the soil of faith, wisdom and knowledge, and the light that makes them grow is the light of eternal love which comes from the Lord God, by way of the Holy Spirit. The great height of each tree represents the growth towards the light above, which reaches above the first Heaven and beyond the clouds. The appointed faithful reached heights in which they no longer saw this world below, but only the Heavens above. No longer do they look down to the world of darkness, which lies beneath the clouds, but to the things above, which are love, truth and eternal light. The large stream that runs parallel to the Great Forest is the River of Life that flows from the eternal Son. This stream represents the eternal love, which was poured out by the light of life, so that the darkness of all mankind was washed away for eternity. The chosen faithful were planted in the soil closest to the stream, for they loved the light and accepted their calling into the light. Their faithfulness caused them to grow into greatness, so that the revelation of the light would serve as a great beacon to all mankind, and mankind could not say that they did not see. Those who see and come to the River of Life and drink freely from its waters will understand the light. In love, the light will cause them to take root and grow as well. This is the large forest on the far side of the River of Life that you see. Those who do not drink from the River of Life will never know or love the light, and therefore their eternity in the blinding light will be as darkness to them, for the spirit does not ever perish. The row of great trees closest to us, at the end of the Great Forest, are those that have lived in your generation of time. Each row behind them represents the twelve chosen faithful from each generation of mankind before you. Return to Chapter Index The Wisdom of the Lord 50 Chapter 12 Do not be quick to think that these are celebrated people in the eyes of the world, for some have been, but others were hardly known to mankind. Still some in your day are from very humble beginnings and though they are great among the faithful, they are still humble before me in love. These chosen faithful have served me with all their hearts, minds and souls and have loved me since the time of their calling. They have sought out my wisdom and my friendship, and some have suffered greatly for my name. The love that is in them is the love that is in me and therefore they have fought against the darkness all of their days, so that the light would stay lit for a world that does not understand or seek to know it. As you can see, some of the ones in the last row have a few leaves left, as their days are coming to an end in the world of darkness, but they are to stand as great beacons to those who seek the River of Life and the Great Forest of faith, which is the way back to the Garden of the Lord and the Heavens beyond. From all walks of this world I have called my servants. One was raised poor and fatherless and as an infant, I became His only Father. One was a witness to the great atrocities of war. One was of great wealth that set aside worldly possessions to follow me. One was raised in the poorest of neighborhoods among violence and darkness. One was a lost soul from a land of mankind that does not accept me as the Lord. The calling of the faithful ones is by my word and my word only, and these are the ones who heard my calling and chose to walk into the light of love, despite the wrath of darkness that surrounded them. They will soon lose their final leaves and cross over the field of glory that you see. I will meet them at the entrance of the Garden - which is the tunnel we passed through - and I will take them into the Garden of the Lord while they await the coming of the eternal Kingdom of Light. All who see the Great Forest and drink from the River of Life will follow the chosen faithful, and no amount of darkness around them will prevent them from entering. Those who do not drink from the River of Life will not enter the Garden of the Lord. They will be in darkness and then forever blinded with hatred with the coming of eternal light, for they have chosen not to know it or love it. The light of the Lord God is eternal and all consuming. It is the source of all love, wisdom, knowledge and power and it was sent to mankind to free them from the darkness. Those who do not accept this source, instead accept the power of darkness - and they cannot love the light. So, when the corrupted flesh fades and their days of death in the world of darkness come to an end, they will hate the light. And the light by its very nature, will cause them to be blind and suffer. All that they have ever hated and refused to love, will now be their eternal dwelling place for the light does not destroy its creation, only the darkness within it. Return to Chapter Index The Wisdom of the Lord 51 Chapter 12 I came, so that the darkness that indwelt mankind would be forever taken away. Do not think that I judge as the world judges, for it is not I who condemns, but the darkness condemns itself. For what can darkness know of the light? For hate and love have no place among one another, nor does hate choose to walk into the light. This is the condemnation that comes for all who have loved darkness and then meet the eternal light. The light that I speak of is the eternal glory of the Lord God and the Spirit of Love that binds them as one.” The Lord smiled and asked unto me, “Do you understand what I have told you so far?” I answered unto the Lord, “Lord, I understand what you are telling me, however, I cannot say that it all makes sense to me at this moment. It seems too simple to me, after all that has been written and all the questions that have been debated. I think I will have many questions Lord, but I want to just listen more for now.” The Lord then said unto me, “The truth is always simple, and has been known but not understood by mankind, even in the revelation of my coming; more has needed to be said. You will have much time to ask me questions. Come, let us walk and I will tell you more.” Return to Chapter Index The Tree of Jacob 52 Chapter 13 The Tree of Jacob Chapter 13 The Lord and I then stood up from the last tree where we had been sitting and started to walk towards the stream on the far side of the Great forest, away from the cliff wall. I began to think about this last tree in the Great forest row, the one which we sat near. The Lord had not told me anything about this tree. Since He had said I would have time to ask questions, I decided to not ask Him at that time and just continued to follow. We walked through the large stream that the Lord had called “The River of Life” and its water was waist-deep and refreshing. We crossed over at the point where the smaller stream broke away from the River of Life. This smaller stream ran up a hill and surrounded the small tree on top of the hill. With the River of Life and the Great Forest behind us, we began to walk up the hill towards the smaller tree on top of the hill, with the small stream to our left. I noticed that the smaller stream ran out from under this small tree on top of the hill and the current flowed downhill, feeding into and not being fed out of what the Lord called the River of Life at the bottom of the hill. When we got a short distance from the small tree on top of the hill, the Lord stopped and began to stare at it with deep intensity in His eyes. He began to glow brightly, and His appearance began to change before me. His eyes glowed like the sun and His body became like pure light. I stood there looking at Him, not understanding what was going on, and after a moment He returned to the image of Jesus Christ that He had been before. He sat down in the field about ten feet away from the tree and I sat down beside Him. As we sat there, more than a few minutes went by with neither of us saying anything. The Lord was looking down at the ground and running His hand through the beautiful green grass and appeared to be in deep thought. He raised His head to look up at the small tree and then said unto me, “Behold before you, the Tree of Jacob, which I have called Israel.” I was stunned at what He had said and so I began to look closely at the tree so that I may see more of its features. The tree was much smaller than the trees of either the Great Forest or the other large forest to the right of it, but it was filled with leaves and several different kinds of fruits. I looked closer and began to see that the tree was very, very old and its bark had been greatly weathered. I desired to look at it closer still, so I stood up and began to walk towards the tree. Return to Chapter Index The Tree of Jacob 53 Chapter 13 The Lord called out and He said unto me, “Do not draw near the tree, for it is not to be touched. For this tree has set itself apart from me and wishes not to be touched by me or any that are in me. This is the choice given under the Covenant of Moses.” I backed away from the tree and sat back down beside the Lord and said unto Him, “Lord, forgive me for I did not mean to offend you in any way.” The Lord smiled and put His hand on my shoulder and said unto me, “You did not offend. I will not touch the tree either, until the time to do so is here. This tree has rejected me, and I have given the tree and all those who belong to it the choice to do so.” I looked back at the tree and behold; the tree began to die before me. The tree branches withered, and the fruit dried to nothing. The stream around it began to dry up, with only a small amount of water left. The grass and everything around it began to die as well. Then the tree, the stream and everything around it, was replenished again as it had been before. This happened several times - over and over the tree and all that was around it would be at the point of death, but then would be replenished again. It was as if many ages of the tree were flashing before me and I began to understand as I watched this. The changing of the tree finally ceased, and it was restored to its original state as when we first sat down before it. I thought about all the struggles that Israel had gone through and how so many times, the people of Israel had suffered. I wondered how they had persevered for so long. The Lord then said unto me, “Do not let your thoughts lead you astray and do not let your heart be troubled. The seed of Adam, Abraham and David has been preserved, so that through this tree, the Great Forest and the River of Life has sprung forth. There is still hope that this tree will become the greatest of them all. Come now and let us walk and I will talk with you more.” The Lord and I stood up and glanced at the Tree of Jacob once more, before turning to walk down the hill. We headed towards the far end of the Great Forest, away from the small stream at the end of the Great Forest where we had sat before. As we walked through the great field with the River of Life to our right and the Great Forest beside it, I saw endless fields of green grass before us and the very large forest of trees to our left. The trees of the large forest were healthy and beautiful and were of normal size. There was another stream of water within this forest however, and unlike the Tree of Jacob, this stream was fed from the River of Life and did not pour into it. The grass of the fields was a little higher than my ankle and there was a gentle breeze that blew across the open meadows. We came to the end of the Great Forest, encircled by the River of Life at the far end. It turned and ran under the cliff walls that enclosed the Garden of the Lord. Return to Chapter Index The Tree of Jacob 54 Chapter 13 The Lord and I sat down in the meadows of grass at the end of the Great Forest. He gazed out over the endless meadows and the other large forest to our left with a majestic look in His eyes. He then smiled and said unto me, “Today you have seen much - and you will see much more. Soon I will answer the many questions that you have, but wisdom is a journey that does not end. Go and rest now, for I will come to you again and will give you answers to give unto the world.” I awoke from my vision and began to study The Word of God about all that I had seen and heard, and The Word of God began to speak out to me, unlike ever before. Return to Chapter Index The Scroll of Fire 55 Chapter 14 The Scroll of Fire Chapter 14 As I sat alone in the desert, the Spirit of the Lord came upon me, while I was bowed before Him in deep prayer. And behold, I was taken up in the Spirit and I saw an expansive desert and the Lord was standing in His glory beside a single cliff wall. He summoned me unto Him, and I bowed with my face before Him and I said unto Him, “Forgive me Lord. Are you the Lord Jesus Christ, the Son of God, the King of Kings, the Lord of Lords, the Christ, the Messiah, My Brother and My Friend?” And the Lord said unto me, “I am He, Michael - and I am here, and I am with you.” I then kissed His feet and raised myself to my knees and kissed the palms of His hands. He reached down and lifted me to my feet. Then the Lord looked out in the distance and He said unto me, “Behold Michael and tell me what you see.” I looked out into the expanse of the desert and the sky above, and I saw, scattered throughout the desert floor, legions upon legions and thousands upon thousands of angels staring intently into the sky, as if they were awaiting a message. They were glowing with a white aura of light and their eyes burned like sapphire in the sun. I looked up toward the heavens and behold, the sky was glowing red, like the color of a blazing fire, and there was a massive hole in the center of the sky. The hole appeared to be like an upward whirlwind, with a bright light shining down the center of it, and the sight of it made me tremble inside. I turned to ask the Lord what this was, and behold, He was as a blazing fire before me. His eyes, hair and body were ablaze as with white fire, and His power was radiant and beautiful before me. I looked, and my cloak was glowing white and my eyes were set ablaze and the Spirit of the Lord burned inside me. The Lord then extended two beautiful and magnificent white wings, took hold of my hand, and said, “Come with me Michael.” And in an instant, He lifted me up to the top of the cliff wall that rose above the desert floor. We stood beside one another looking out over the magnificent desert floor and the multitude of angels that were lining it. As I gazed up at the red sky above, the Lord then took me by the hand and He said unto me, “Michael, take this, and write down what it says and what I will show you.” I looked and the Lord had a scroll in His right hand, and He began to unseal it before me. He opened the scroll up and showed it to me, but I could not read it, as the writing was glowing with white fire. I said to the Lord, “Lord, I cannot read what it says, as it looks like fire burning on the scroll.” The Lord then rolled the scroll back up, and He said unto me, “Take the scroll and set it inside your cloak.” Return to Chapter Index The Scroll of Fire 56 Chapter 14 So I took the rolled up scroll, and placed it against my chest on the inside of my cloak - and my chest begin to burn. I said unto the Lord, “Lord, the scroll that you have given me is burning against my heart. What shall I do with it?” Then the Lord rose above me, hovering above me off of the side of the cliff wall, and He said unto me, “Soon I will call you and tell you what the scroll says, and I will tell you what to write down, and you will give it to those I tell you.” Then at once, all the angels on the desert floor took flight and rose into the whirlwind and up into the red sky. The number of angels that rose could not be counted, all of them ablaze with white fire. The Lord then looked at me and said unto me, “Michael, I shall soon return and summon you unto me and give you the answer you seek.” Then He turned and He soared into the center of the whirlwind and a bright and glorious light surrounded Him. Then all was quiet, the red sky became clear blue, and the whirlwind was gone. I sat on the cliff and was once again dressed in a worn cloak; and silence was over the desert where I sat. My chest still burned as I sat in astonishment as to what I had just seen and heard, and my heart was greatly troubled within me. Then my vision ended, and I was back in the world of the fallen. My chest still burned, and it continued to do so for the next 3 days. Return to Chapter Index The Weight of the Scroll 57 Chapter 15 The Weight of the Scroll Chapter 15 For the next 3 days, my chest continued to burn, and tightness constricted my breathing, as if my heart was going to fail. Sleep evaded me and my body ached. Visions, dreams and erratic thoughts plagued my mind, and I could find no peace. I would seek the Lord in prayer, in His Holy Word, and in meditation - and He would assure me in a quiet voice that He was with me. Questions raced through my mind, and I could find no reason or answers. Why this scroll? Why have I been chosen to write down more, when the Book of Michael seems to have been ignored? Has sanity left me forevermore, and have I fallen into the hands of the evil one? I became angry in my spirit, recalling the tremendous agony, sorrow and pain that I endured while writing the Book and I wanted to forget this calling. The Lord would not let me forget, as my chest burned. The words written on the scroll could not be contained, and I so desired to get the words out of me and written down as the Lord had commanded me. I felt no assurance that anyone would believe what the Lord revealed to me, as they had not the Book of Michael that I had written down at the command of the Lord. I cried out to the Lord over and over again, and said unto Him, “Lord, these people will not listen. It is your children who reject these words, and who reject the visions and messages you have given me. They are no different than the ancient Israelites - they always reject your messengers, claim that the entire message has been sealed, and claim that they contain the only knowledge of God. Why, oh Lord, would you make your servant suffer and write these things, knowing they will be rejected? Why Lord, have you made me sit in a desert for over 3 years now, with the constant weight of your hand upon me Lord?” The Lord said unto me, “Michael, is it a burden for you to serve me? Am I not the Lord your God, and are you not my servant? Was it not I who created and formed you, and who called you unto myself, that you would be appointed to write down what I have shown you and spoken to you? Shall I serve you Michael, or shall you serve me? Evil abounds throughout the nations, and those I have redeemed have strayed from my path. The widow, the orphan and the weak are abandoned. Nations conspire against one another and use my Holy name to whitewash their actions. They have left the path of righteousness to pursue false gain and self-notoriety, and they heap up insult against my Name. The shepherds of my people lead them astray and they will offer nothing of themselves in service to those who are in need. Who is it they are trying to deceive? The Holy One of Israel! Woe to those who live in comfort and luxury, while the poor desperately suffer! Woe to those who gain ill-gotten treasure and consume the wealth of the lost and desperate! Woe to those who claim to know my Name and proclaim their faith in my Name, and yet deceive the widow and the fatherless for gain! Woe to those who lead those who are lost into prisons of evil Return to Chapter Index The Weight of the Scroll 58 Chapter 15 and despair, enslaving them with demonic addictions for gain! Woe to the nations who make war against a weaker people so that the wicked may satisfy their lustful desires for power and wealth! Michael, look to South and tell me what you see. Look to the North and tell me what you see. Look to the East and tell me what you see. Look to the West and tell me what you see. Do you not see the injustice at every corner of the earth? The darkness has spread like a canopy over the face of the earth and there are only fragments of light, so that a small remnant of hope remains. The poor and defenseless cry out, and would you have me ignore them Michael? Shall I not answer those who call upon my Name? For death, destruction, enslavement, poverty, tyranny, oppression, greed, lust, arrogance, pride and indifference have become the standard by which the nations are ruled. Even if you do not see this, do I not see it? Shall I allow you comfort Michael, when I am afforded none? What is it you have been denied that I have not given you? Who is it that will weep for me, Michael? Therefore, write what I have commanded you and honor me as the Lord your God. Strengthen your heart, mind and body and put away your fear and contempt, that you may serve me - and do not arouse my anger against yourself, for, ‘My Righteous One will live by Faith!’ See, I will do as I have done since the beginning, and I will proclaim what I am about to do before it comes to pass. I am going to rise up against the nations, and my wrath will consume the whole earth. Nations will rise against nations, and the destruction of all they hold dear will come to pass. I will turn them over to their greed and desire for power, and they will see my back and not my face. Therefore, proclaim it to the whole of the earth and let it be written before it takes place, so that their guilt will be upon them and they cannot deny that it was I who brought it to pass. The end has come, and the finality of all things is near. I will show you what will come to pass and then you will write down what you see and what you hear! Whether they believe or do not believe, you Michael will write it down, and it will be proclaimed.” “Forgive me Lord for my deceptive and wicked heart,” I cried out, “Thy servant is truly unworthy of your love, grace and mercy. I repent of my wicked thoughts and I pray that my faith be restored, for it is with great fear and trembling that I serve you. Let your love and mercies guide me so that I may serve to bring honor, glory and praise to your Holy Name my Lord and my God!” Return to Chapter Index Fire in the Sky 59 Chapter 16 Fire in the Sky Chapter 16 On the morning of the fourth day, after receiving the scroll that the Lord had placed against my chest, I went in and sat before the Lord. I offered up my morning prayer and bowed before Him and awaited His word to me. Then the Spirit of the Lord came upon me, and I was once again at the place in the desert. I saw the angels and the whirlwind in the red sky just as before, and the Lord was standing in the same place as before, again burning ablaze, as if covered in white fire. His glory radiated as His eyes shined like the sun. My spirit burned inside me, and I felt the glory of the Lord upon me. I looked and again, I was burning as with white fire and my eyes were as sapphires in the sun. I bowed before the Lord, and He lifted me up once again and carried me back to the top of the cliff that rose from the desert floor. The Lord then said unto me, “Michael, take out the scroll which I have given you and open it.” So I reached into my cloak and took out the scroll and the seal, which had been opened by the Lord before and was still torn in two. I then unrolled the scroll from top to bottom, and the letters which had appeared on fire, now turned to red before my eyes. Then the Lord said unto me, “Start to read the scroll out loud Michael.” So I began to read the words on the scroll. As I began to read, the scroll faded from my hands and all the angels began to ascend into the whirlwind as before - and again, a great light shined down in the center of it. Then the Lord took my hand and said, “Come with me Michael and I will show you what you have read,” and at once the Lord lifted me up and soared into the center of the fiery whirlwind, and I was trembling in my spirit. As we rose into the center of the whirlwind, I was surrounded by glowing red and orange flames. The center of the whirlwind was huge, and mighty angels (too numerous to count) were flying upward beside us on every side. I looked up and saw a bright light shining down the center of the whirlwind, and darkness on the outer edges of it. Suddenly we came out of the whirlwind, having risen above it. And I looked and behold, we were in what appeared to be space, hovering above the circle of the earth. I looked, and all the angels had come to a stop and were hovering, looking down upon the earth. Then the Lord said unto me, “Michael, look and tell me what you see.” So, I looked down, and I saw on the surface of the earth a huge cloud of fire burning red, and a plume of white smoke rising above it. So, I said to the Lord, “My Lord, I see a great cloud of fire, and smoke rising from the surface of the earth.” Return to Chapter Index Fire in the Sky 60 Chapter 16 The Lord said unto me, “You see correctly. Now come and I will show you more.” It was then that I realized that the huge cloud of fire had been the whirlwind we had just risen through. The Lord then descended towards the face of the earth, and all of the angels accompanied Him. This time He went around the large cloud of fire. We came to a point where I could see the surface of the earth, and there the Lord rested us down on top of a high mountain, some distance from the great cloud of fire. From the top of the mountain, I could see a vast desert plain, and in the distance I saw the silhouette of a city. The cloud of fire rose from the floor of the desert plain and reached unto the sky. I asked the Lord, “Lord, what is this cloud of fire that I am seeing and why is it here?” Then the Lord said unto me, “Michael, it is the weapon of man that you are seeing - and you are witnessing the beginning of evils self-destruction.” I was shocked at what the Lord said, and I asked the Him, “Lord, where are we? And what is this place, and who is responsible for this destruction?” And the Lord said unto me, “You are looking at the plains of Elam and the destruction that is being brought against it. For evil attacks evil, and by this act, the beginning of the end has begun for mankind.” I said unto the Lord, “Lord, I do not understand what this means, as I have not the wisdom to understand.” Then the Lord said unto me, “Michael, you will soon understand, and I will show you what is to come.” Then the Lord took hold of me and lifted me up, and I saw great cities and vast deserts beneath me. Then the Lord rested us once again on top of another mountain. I looked to the west and saw a great city, and then to east I saw a long mountain plain with a fertile valley that ran into an endless desert. Return to Chapter Index Siege of the Holy Land 61 Chapter 17 Siege of the Holy Land Chapter 17 Then behold, as I looked out upon the fertile plain, I felt the earth begin to tremble and the ground shook. The mountain on which the Lord and I were standing began to shake, and all at once the angels that accompanied us took flight. Then I heard a great trumpet blast that was deafening to my ears. I looked and saw the Lord was in all His glory, and a great sword was in His right hand. Then I looked and I saw a vast army that covered the fertile plains and the desert beyond. I turned and I looked towards the great city, and it was surrounded by hordes of darkness on every side. I asked the Lord, “Lord, what is happening?” And the Lord said to unto me, “Michael, the sons of Ishmael, the sons of Esau and the sons of Canaan have gathered against the Holy City. They have risen as one man against the city that bears my name and have come to lay waste to all that it is.” I cried out to the Lord, “Why Lord? Why would they do this?” And He said unto me, “For this is what was proclaimed, and this is what must come to pass.” So, I pleaded with the Lord, “Lord, is there nothing we can do? Is there no one that will stand against them and defend the Holy City?” Then the Lord said unto me, “Look to the great sea Michael and tell me what you see.” I looked towards the West, and a great sea was before me that lay a distance from the Holy City. And behold, there were an endless array of ships in the sea, so that they appeared to cover the whole horizon. Then I saw a vast army coming ashore and I saw birds of preying soaring overhead, stalking over their enemies. Then I saw the sons of Israel rising across the land, and they were each carrying weapons of war in their hands. I heard them shout, “Post the lookouts, sound the alarms, and every man take his position, for the Lord our God is with us!” And then I saw an endless array of fire coming in all directions. Nations were rising against nations and the battle was fierce and seemed to be never ending. I saw the sons of Israel and those that stood with them from the sea to the west drive back the nations of the desert, and victory was within their grasp. The nations of the east began to draw back and reestablish new battle lines as the sons of Israel and those that stood with them pressed on. Then behold, I heard another great trumpet sound and it shook the ground more than the first trumpet that had sounded. I turned to see a great horde of nations coming from the North, and they fell like steel rain as they crashed against the sons of Israel - but the sons of Israel did not fall. The sons of Israel and those who stood with them began to battle the hordes of nations from the North and from the East. The battle continued to be fierce, and the number of those killed was countless. Return to Chapter Index Siege of the Holy Land 62 Chapter 17 I turned to see the Lord and He stood silent with His sword raised high above Him as He watched the great battle unfold. His body was still ablaze with white fire, and His stare was fixed on the battle below us. I then saw darkness fall over the land as the battle continued to rage on. Then the sun appeared again, and many days seemed to flash before me as if days were being measured in seconds. Then I heard another great trumpet, and again the ground shook and trembled. I turned and I saw another great horde of nations rising from the South, and they also came against the sons of Israel and those who stood with them. I cried out to the Lord, “Lord, can the sons of Israel and those who stand with them drive back these hordes of nations that are attacking them from all sides?” The Lord then drove His sword into the mountain. The ground began shake, and the mountain began to crumble away beneath us, to the battlefield below. Then I looked, and I saw the angels descend upon the battle, and they were cutting down the hordes of nations that were attacking the sons of Israel and those who stood with them. The hordes of nations attacking Israel began to flee, and the sons of Israel and those who stood with them pursued them in every direction. Many were slaughtered at every direction, and the sight of it was horrifying to me and I pleaded with the Lord to stop the slaughter, as it was appalling for me to see. The Lord then pulled His sword out of the top of the mountain which remained, and the angels immediately withdrew from the battlefield. Then the sons of Israel and those who stood with them, turned back and returned to the great city below. Return to Chapter Index The Great City 63 Chapter 18 The Great City Chapter 18 I then looked out over the great city that lay below the mountain where I stood with the Lord, and it had been subjected to mass destruction. Buildings were ablaze, homes were flattened, and the massive structures throughout the land were reduced to rubble. The sons of Israel and those who stood with them had repelled the siege with the help of the Lord and His mighty angels, but the city was reduced to near ashes. Then I looked into the distance, and I saw the great temple with the golden sphere and the crescent moon - and it was ablaze. The temple began to fall before me, and it was brought down to ruins and dust. Then I saw the sons of Israel and those who stood with them encircle the site of the fallen temple, and they began to fall to their knees and shout praises to the God of Heaven & Earth. I asked the Lord what this meant, and the Lord said unto me, “Michael, you are witnessing the fall of the abomination that causes desolation, and the throne room of the false prophet who has led many astray.” So, I asked the Lord, “What is to happen now my Lord? Is this the end of all things? Is it now over Lord?” The Lord turned and looked out over the valley of fertile fields and desert beyond, and all the angels came to Him and encircled Him in constant motion, while I waited to hear what the Lord would answer me. Then I looked out where the Lord was looking, and behold, I saw a group of men coming out of the desert, dressed in white and carrying a scroll. Then I saw the sons of Israel come out to meet the men who came out of the desert - and when they met them, they all sat down opposite of one another. I saw one of the men with the scroll open it and begin to read it out loud in a language I did not understand. After the man had read the words on the scroll, I saw one of the sons of Israel stand up and take the scroll from the man wearing white, who had been reading it. The son of Israel took the scroll and passed it around to the other sons of Israel, and they each read it. Then the sons of Israel stood up as one, and the men dressed in white did the same - and they all faced one another. Then the son of Israel who had the taken the scroll and the man wearing white who had read the scroll aloud embraced each other and kissed each other on the cheek. Then they held each other’s hand onto the scroll, lifted their arms to the heavens, and seemed to be praising God. All at once, the sky turned very dark and lightning flashed above them, across the sky. Then the men in white turned away and went back the direction they came, and the sons of Israel returned to the great city. Then as I watched, the sons of Israel assembled inside the great city, at the place of the temple with the golden sphere which had fallen during the great battle. The Return to Chapter Index The Great City 64 Chapter 18 people were rejoicing with singing and celebration, and the ones who had stood with the sons of Israel stood off at a distance and observed the celebrations but did not join in with the sons of Israel. As I looked down upon the city, the ones that stood with the sons of Israel began leaving the city in great columns and headed back to the great Western Sea. Along the way, they reclaimed their dead with great care. The city was left with only the sons of Israel, and they began to rebuild the ruins of the city. The outer walls were demolished and then rebuilt with fortification, and houses were leveled and replaced by new houses. I saw an innumerable amount of people going out to dispose of the dead bodies that were scattered throughout the city and the fertile fields and desert plains beyond. For those who had fallen and were of the sons of Israel, great honor and care was given to their bodies - however the fallen of the hordes were picked up and tossed into large graves scattered throughout the land, and their bodies were burned. I did not see any of the armies of the hordes return to carry off their dead, and they were strewn out in great numbers throughout the entire land. Then I saw a great number of the sons of Israel gather at the site of the fallen temple, and they began to offer prayers and incense up to the heavens. I saw men dressed in flowing robes with purple sashes, and they were accompanied by many who played instruments and sang. Then the singing stopped, and I saw great machines come to the spot where the temple had fallen. They began to remove the debris that was left, and the ground was leveled. Then I saw huge trucks carrying a vast amount of building material and rock to the location where the temple had stood. I looked, and I saw forty sons of Israel. They were all dressed in flowing robes, and they began to circle the location, each of them standing about a hundred feet apart in distance. As I watched, one of the sons of Israel walked into the center of the circle. He had in his hand a great scroll, which he opened and began to read in a language I could not understand. As he read, I turned and looked towards the Lord - and He was facing towards the West and had His back toward the location of the temple. I looked up, and the angels were also facing West and had their backs toward the location of the temple. I asked the Lord, “Lord, why do you not look down upon this ceremony and see what I am seeing?” But the Lord did not answer me, and I knew it was not for me to know the answer. I returned my gaze to watch the ceremony that was taking place. As I watched, I saw two more men in robes come to the center of the circle. I saw that each of them had a goat, and each of them had a lamb. One of the goats was laid on its side, and the son of Israel who had been reading the scroll took a large knife and slit the throat of the goat. He tilted its head back, and the blood of the goat poured out on to the soil. As I watched, the other goat was set free, and it fled toward the East and out onto the plains of the fertile fields. Then I watched as both lambs were laid on their sides, and Return to Chapter Index The Great City 65 Chapter 18 the men who had brought them to the center both took out large knives and slit the throat of each of the lambs. They also tilted their heads back, so that the blood of the lambs spilt out on the ground, just as had the blood of the goat. Then I saw two more of the sons of Israel come into the center of the circle. They carried fire, and what appeared to be a censer that burned incense. The incense rose to where I stood, and the smell of it was terrible to me. When they reached the location where the lambs and the goat were lying, the three men who had slain the animals began to skin them and take the inner parts from the animals. Once the animals had been cleaned, the other two sons of Israel with the fire and the incense began to pour out oil on the animals, and then set fire to them in the center of the circle. Then I watched as the sons of Israel who had killed and cleaned the animals walked out of the circle and disposed of the animal skin and parts they had taken, throwing them into a fire outside of the circle. They then turned and waded into a pool of water that was nearby. The remaining sons of Israel who still formed the circle, all bowed down and put their faces in the dust. Then they all began to tear open their robes and pour dust on their heads, and they were wailing so loud it was deafening. Their sorrow seemed very great to me and I wanted to comfort them somehow, so I turned to see if the Lord was watching. But as I turned, I saw Him just as before, with His back toward the place of ceremony. So I turned back and watched as the sons of Israel bowed low, prayed, and wept throughout the entire night. When the sun began to rise, they all closed the circle - and in a column they returned the direction they had come, back into the city center. Return to Chapter Index The Building of the Temple 66 Chapter 19 The Building of the Temple Chapter 19 I turned away from facing the holy place where the sons of Israel and been, and back towards the Lord. I went and I sat down at his feet, as He stood facing the north. I felt like weeping, and my spirit was disturbed at all that had happened. Then the Lord reached out and placed His right hand on my shoulder, and He said unto me, “Michael, do not fear and do not let your heart be troubled. All that you have seen was destined from the beginning and must come to pass in order for the end to come.” “Forgive me Lord,” I said, “But what does all this mean, and what is to happen next? Is it over, my Lord, or will there be more to come? This bloodshed and destruction have been horrific to watch, my Lord.” Then the Lord said unto me, “Michael, turn and face the holy place again, and tell me what you see.” I turned and looked down upon the holy place where the sons of Israel had been, and behold, they were constructing a temple of magnificent size. There was a large wall around it made of beautiful white stone, and the foundation had been raised at various levels. There were four gates in the wall that were very large, and they ran into an open courtyard. The first courtyard was at the lowest level, and then ran into two sets of wide steps which numbered about twenty steps each. At the top of each set of steps was another large courtyard, and at the center of it was the beginning of a great foundation of walls. I saw no machinery at the site, only craftsmen in strange garments - and they were using what appeared to be ancient carts of some sort to move the stones. They had a system of ropes and pulleys in place, with large wooden cranes that they used to lift the stones up. Each stone was brought to its appropriate place in the wall, and there was no hammering or chiseling of the stones inside of the exterior walls. I looked, and I saw a vast workforce outside the walls, and huge pieces of machinery moving the stones and supplies to a location roughly 50 yards from the walls that surrounded the courtyards. I watched as some of the stones that were taken into the courtyard to be inserted into the wall foundation were taken back out, and I saw craftsmen and machinery working together to reshape the stones that had been marred in one way or another - but no work on the stones was being done inside the walls, and no machinery was allowed past the walls. I was astonished at how large the walls and the courtyards were, and how many of the sons of Israel were assembled to build such a great structure. I turned back to the Return to Chapter Index The Building of the Temple 67 Chapter 19 Lord and I said unto Him, “Lord, how did they do this so quickly, and will you not turn to see how beautiful it is, Lord?” The Lord then reached out and took my hand, and He said unto me, “Come Michael, for there is more I must show you.” And then all at once, the Lord took flight with me, and the angels accompanied us. As we rose into the air, I looked down to see the great structure - but all I could see was what appeared to be a black shadow, and I could not perceive the site or those building upon it, and I was perplexed by what I saw. I turned to ask the Lord why this was, but then I saw that we were flying into pure light and I could not perceive anything, as constant pure light is all there was. Return to Chapter Index The Army of the Light 68 Chapter 20 The Army of the Light Chapter 20 In another vision, the Lord and I were sitting upon a great boulder. I looked out and saw that we were no longer staring out into the desert, for the deserts were gone - and instead a vast number of great cities lay before us, as far as my eyes could see. The Lord stood up and I stood up beside Him, and He said unto me, “Come and fly with me above the earth, so that you may look through the eyes of the Lord.” Then behold; The Lord began to shine as bright as the morning sun, and a golden crown of fire was set ablaze at the top of His head. He was covered in golden armor, carried a beautiful sword in His left hand, and had angelic white wings that draped over Him. He looked into my eyes, and His eyes were golden like the Father’s, shining as if set on fire. With a thunderous voice He said unto me, “Come now, and follow me where I go,” and I saw that I was in full silver armor, dressed in white, and possessed the sword and dagger at my sides. The Lord leapt from the side of the boulder, and great light surrounded His presence. I then spread my wings and flew up to meet the Lord in the sky, and to fly beside Him wherever He was to go. The Lord soared higher and higher, and I followed Him until we reached the outer edges of the sky. Then He stopped, and we both looked down upon the earth. Then great light started to illuminate the sky from all directions. I looked above me, and behold I saw an endless sea of warrior angels. The Lord called out in a strange language, and the angels unsheathed their swords - and so did I. The Lord looked upon me, and His glory was so bright that I felt partially blinded. He then said unto me, “Now come Son of Man and see what I see.” He began to fly at great speed, descending over the earth - and I followed, keeping up as best as I could. The army of angels was spread out to our left and to our right, as far as the eye could see. We descended through the clouds with the earth before us, and it was beautiful to me. There were no cities and no sign of mankind’s building upon the earth. The oceans were blue and clear, and the meadows, forests, streams and rivers were beyond my ability to measure. We leveled off and crossed over the surface of the earth, and I saw that the earth was unscathed and healthy with life. Return to Chapter Index The Army of the Light 69 Chapter 20 We came to the other side of the earth, and darkness was about - for the night hour was at hand. The light and glory of the Lord and the angels lit up the darkness as if it were noon day, and the sight of the earth continued to be beautiful to me. Off in the distance, I saw a great mountain that stood alone. Its peak was at a great height, and fire and smoke were rising out from it. Beside the mountain was a great plain of meadow that expanded as far as the eye could see. Encircling the meadow was a continuous rolling hillside that sat above the plain and created a lower valley of the meadow. The Lord descended and hovered over the top of the mountain, with the smoke and fire bellowing out below Him. I stopped and hovered beside the Lord, as the angels continued their descent past the mountain and onto the great plain. They encircled the plain, and in uniformity they landed upon the rolling hillside in a perfect formation of columns and rows. As far as the eye could see was the vastness of the army of angels and there was no end to their number; they could not be counted. The Lord said unto me, “Look unto the plain and tell me what you see.” I looked and said unto the Lord, “Lord, I see an endless plain of green meadow, surrounded by the rolling hillside, which is covered with angels forever.” The Lord then smiled and said unto me, “Now that you have seen with your own eyes, look again with the eyes that I have given unto you.” I looked again and behold; I saw a vast multitude of mankind that filled the entire valley, and their number was millions upon millions. They were formed like a great army, possessing chariots of fire, great white horses with wings, foot soldiers, archers and spearman. They were covered in silver armor with traces of gold, and perfectly aligned in columns and rows. The Lord said unto me, “Behold, the armies of Adam, Abraham and David!” Then a great and mighty angel soared past us. He had two angels beside him, one to his left and one to his right. The three angels then split off into three directions, with one landing to the left side of the Lord and one landing to the right. They landed directly in front of the vast army of angels that had formed on the hillside, and all of the angels bowed to them as they did so. The great and mighty angel who had led the other two, circled the great army of angels and mankind. As he circled over them, he began to glow as bright as the sun. A great shout arose into the air, with all of the angels and mankind cheering up at the great and mighty angel. The sound of their cheers shook the whole earth below. The great angel then soared directly towards the Lord, and presented himself before Him, with his head bowed low and his hands joined together as in prayer. As the brightness of the great angel began to fade before the glory of the Lord, I saw that the great angel was Michael - and he looked fierce in his appearance, as an indestructible warrior that could not be overcome. Return to Chapter Index The Army of the Light 70 Chapter 20 The Lord then lifted His hand unto Michael, and he turned and soared down to the head of the great army of angels and mankind, placing himself in the front-right of it, as it faced the Lord and me. The Lord then said unto me, “Go and take your place beside Michael.” So I flew over the army of mankind and angels, and they cheered unto me as if I was as great as Michael himself. I felt uneasy for I was nothing to be cheered upon, but I took my place at the front of the army. The Lord slowly descended forward and landed in front of the great mountain, with the great army of angels and mankind facing Him. His glory was beautiful and bright as He stood before us. The moment His foot touched the ground, the entire army bowed to their faces before Him. Mankind, angels and animals all lay down before Him and gave praise to Him. The Lord then moved forward and passed through the entire army of mankind, column by column and row by row, touching each of them as He passed by and calling them each by their names. I was amazed at this. There was a sensation of absolute love and affection that existed throughout this place. They had love for the Lord and love for each other and there was no darkness, envy, jealousy or hate that existed. It was an eternal bond of angels and mankind, brought together by the glory of the Lord. The Lord moved back towards the head of the great army, and we all bowed before Him again. The Lord said unto the army, “Arise, children of Adam, children of Abraham, children of David - and give glory to the light, for today we cover the earth as one, so that all may see that the glory of the light and the love of the Lord God has overcome the darkness!” The whole army raised their swords, shields, spears and hands, and with a great shout they exclaimed in one voice, “AMEN!” The Lord turned and behold, three great white horses covered in armor and fitted with wings were brought forward. One was given to Michael, one was given to me, and the other - which was the greatest of the three - was brought unto the Lord. We mounted the great horses and the Lord lifted His sword, and with a great cheer the army moved forward with great speed and strength towards the mountain that lay before us. A massive bolt of lightning came forth from the Lord and it struck the mountain before us. The mountain was shattered into a million pieces and fell to the earth as if it were made of fine grains of sand. The Lord ascended into the sky and the great army followed Him upwards, with Michael at the head of the right flank and I at the head of the left flank. The sky was lit in glorious light at all sides, and the army filled the entire skyline as far as the eye could see. As we soared above the earth, I looked below, and I saw great Return to Chapter Index The Army of the Light 71 Chapter 20 cities of mankind and great patches of darkness and light moving about the face of the earth. As we crossed over the earth and the cities of mankind, the patches of light were drawn up into the army of light, and the army grew in size and strength. We circled the earth, and all light that existed upon the earth was drawn into the army of light. Once the Lord had led the army around the earth, He stopped and turned towards the army of light. The Lord then cried out in the language that I did not understand, and a glorious and greater light descended from the Heavens above. It was like a great ocean, and was blinding to the eyes so that the entire army covered their faces, but I was able to see it clearly. The ocean of light then formed as a great beam, and came down upon the Lord and enclosed Him. Then the Lord said unto me, “See that Man and the Lord God have overcome the darkness as One and are now One in image and in likeness, so that now the day of rest may be given unto all who are of the light!” The Lord turned and looked down to the earth below, and I saw the patches of darkness forming together as if the earth was covered with disease. The Lord pointed His great sword towards the earth, and the great sea of light shot forth upon the surface of the earth and quickly enveloped the entire planet, causing it to glow and all of the darkness to vanish. There was no sun, no moon, no stars, and no darkness in the sky - and where the earth ended and the universe began, I could not tell. I could see no trees, mountains, oceans or meadows, but only a continuous blinding light. I cried out to the Lord, “Lord, is this all there is to be? Is there nothing but light forever more?” The Lord came forward and said unto me, “Do not be troubled, for the new city is to be brought forth before you, as the darkness has been removed.” The Lord then began to descend, and the army followed Him down. And behold, I saw before me a great and marvelous city made of white marble, gold, silver and all the colors of the rainbow. It went on forever, and I could see no beginning and no end to it. The entrance to the city had great gates, shining as if they were made of gold, just as the gates to the throne room of Heaven that I had seen before. The walls were massive and were made of marble, ivory, gold and other materials that I did not know. There were millions upon millions of homes, each made of ivory, gold, gems, silver and other materials that I did not know. The streets shined like bright gold, beautiful streams of water flowed everywhere throughout the city, and the streets were lined with endless fruit trees. Return to Chapter Index The Army of the Light 72 Chapter 20 The Lord called me unto Himself, down to gates of the great city. He stopped at the entrance in front of the great gates, and behold; I saw men, women and children laughing, singing and dancing. The men and women were all youthful and the children all pure. They each had a different look, but all were beautiful and innocent in their presence and form. They were each clothed in white gowns and there was no pain, distress, heartache or fear. They interacted with each other as if to be one great family, and I was amazed at what I saw. I asked the Lord, “Lord, may I enter the city and stay for a while?” The Lord answered unto me, saying, “The time has not yet come, but do not fear son of man, for you will one day enter the city.” We turned away from the city and back towards the army, but I saw that the army was gone. I looked back and saw that all the army was inside of the city and had become a part of the great family. The angels were stationed all along the walls, and there was a great and glorious light that shined down from the Heavens, which brought light to the whole world. I followed the Lord, and as He moved away from the city, I began to hear screaming and wailing so loud that it deafened me. I heard cries, and people screaming out, “I am blind, and I cannot see, what has happened to me and where am I?” The fear and pain in their voice was terrible to me. I asked the Lord, “Lord, the darkness is gone and there is only the light. Why then do I hear this crying and wailing in my ears, for has not all pain ended?” The Lord turned to me, with tears welled up in His eyes, and the sight of it made me want to cry as well. The Lord said unto me, “They refused to know the light. Now, that which they hated has become their Lord, and they will never understand it or be able to see it. I am the Lord, and in love I granted redemption to those who would believe - and they chose to hate the light. Come now, for we have more to see and I have more to tell you, so that those who hear may not find themselves blinded when the light comes.” The Lord rose to the heavens and I followed Him. As we ascended on high, I began to see darkness coming over me and I cried out to the Lord, “Lord, I see the darkness and it is overcoming me!” The Lord turned and gently smiled, saying unto me, “Do not fear, for your vision is ending today and you are returning to the world of darkness. But know that I will call upon you again, so that we may finish the Book I have told you write down for mankind.” I cried out to the Lord, “Lord, please do not send me back, for I want to stay Here with you!” I opened my eyes and I was back in the world, and I felt great sorrow and anguish because of it. Return To Chapters Ind Return to Chapter Indexex Finding the Lord 73 Chapter 21 Finding the Lord Chapter 21 I asked the Lord, “Lord, I know that we are not judged by the Law of Moses any longer, but that we are now under the grace, love and mercy of your sacrifice for sin, once and for all. There are many who say that because of this, we are supposed to live by the Law - and when we are saved, we have the power of the Holy Spirit that enables us to do this. However, I have seen many become lost by this as they cannot seem to live the life of morality that the Church teaches them, even though they have accepted you as their Savior. The Church that worships you has taken many names and is made up of many different rules, regulations and ideas that they all claim are found in your word. This has led to much confusion, hatred, war and heartache - and I feel that we should know what we are supposed to do and not be always guessing as to the right way, my Lord. So my question is: What is the Law that we are to live by, in order to become the children of God and to know that we have found you, Lord?” The Lord said unto me: “The answer to your question for mankind has long been known, however many still have the corrupted belief that they can be good enough for the Lord God, when the truth is that you are good enough because of the Lord God and not for the Lord God. My children continue to create rules, rituals and requirements in order to attempt to keep mankind Holy, and to remind mankind of my Holiness. This is the pride that came forth, when the line of Adam and Eve were corrupted in their knowledge. I say unto you that a child must grow and mature, and as it does so it reaches many stages. The rebirth of mankind brought forth innocence, infancy, pride, rebellion, repentance, humbleness and then acceptance. Do not accuse those who came before you, for I tell you that they sought me with all their hearts and minds. And as a child learning to walk, they fell many times - and not all who call on my name before mankind either know me or love me. Do not accuse those who are with you today, for I tell you that you are of one body, maturing in me as you grow and becoming stronger in faith as you do so. This is evident to those who are truly in me, and those who are not cannot hide themselves in the darkness before the light of the Lord God. While you quarrel amongst one another over which among you are righteous, the enemy laughs and grows in strength, as a great tide across the land. It is in me that you have been given life, this is not of yourselves. Do not be arrogant my children. Return to Chapter Index Finding the Lord 74 Chapter 21 Do not defend my word, but rather go forth and proclaim it as one body in unity with me, so that you may be a light that destroys the darkness of the world. For it is written that the gates of death will not stand against you - and what is death, but the darkness? Gates are built to defend, not to attack, and so I tell you be on the offensive, arming yourself with the Seeking of God, the Humility of God, the Acceptance of God, the Determination of God, the Devotion of God, the Almightiness of God and the Invitation of God, doing so as the One child of God, as you are in me and I am in you. You are all in me and I am in you and therefore, we are One child before the eyes of the Father - so do not grieve His Holy Spirit but sing forth the word of His heart throughout the world. To those who are lost, come to me and call upon my name and I will welcome you completely. Your heart, mind and soul will be at peace with the Lord God. I tell you that the light of the Lord God is love and If you call unto me, I am faithful and will come to you. Your house has already been swept clean, therefore, do not leave the house empty, but fill it with light, so that it may not be occupied by an even greater darkness than before. I give unto you Seven Stars that make One Eternal Light and One Eternal Light that make up the Seven Stars. Seek me with all your heart, mind and soul, and never cease, for I will never cease to be with you, no matter the storm. Humble yourself with me before the Father, for your pride separates you from Him and in me there is no rebellion against Him. Accept the grace, love and forgiveness that have been given unto you and know that it cannot be earned or lost, for it is eternal and never changing, as you are in me and I am in you. Determine in your heart to not judge others or yourself, because neither they nor you exist apart from the will of the Father. Let the light of the Lord God be the judge of the darkness. Devote yourselves to trusting in me and do not live in fear of the world of darkness, for the Lord God is faithful and His promise to those who are in me will not fail. Anticipate the coming of the Lord God Almighty in your life as each day passes before you, knowing that true faith means you have already received what you ask for and what you need. Invite others to share in my joy and do not set those in the darkness aside, but surround them with the light, so that they may humble themselves and not suffer in eternal blindness. Return to Chapter Index Finding the Lord 75 Chapter 21 I tell you the truth, these Seven Stars make up one Eternal Light and so let them shine in your hearts, singing forth the song of the angels and the Holy Spirit will guide you on your journey. I say unto the Churches of Light: Do not enslave your flock again with rules, rituals, guilt and fear, for one cannot love that which they are afraid to go near. I say unto the elders of the body of my Church: Do not conceal darkness, but cast it out into the light, so that the entire world shall see that the Lord God does not judge with partiality. I tell you that whatever you bound on earth will be bound in Heaven and therefore, preserve the light of the Lord God, for it is not contained within walls made by man. To all who seek me, I say unto you that I am the Lord over all things in Heaven and earth, but I am also the Lord that stands with you, regardless of what you have done, are doing or ever will do. I am yours and you are mine and you have been bought with the price of blood and nothing will separate you from my love. I did not ask anyone to lay down their lives for me, but only that they accept the life I have laid down for them and to share that truth in love with others. Let those who seek this truth, find it, so that they may know and understand that I came to set the captives free, and freedom you have found in me.” Return to Chapter Index The Nations of our Time 76 Chapter 22 The Nations of our Time Chapter 22 I asked the Lord, “Lord, the nations of the world today are much different than the kingdoms of mankind that ruled from the days of Abraham to the times that you walked the earth as a man, and the Apostles after you. Our system of government and ideas of freedom greatly differ as well. The country I live in is considered the wealthiest nation on earth, with the most powerful military the world has ever witnessed, and it is an avid defender of the Nation of Israel. I have always wondered, what does this mean to you my Lord? Are the current systems of countries and government considered to be a good thing before you my Lord, and are we an example of how mankind should live? I would ask the same thing for all of the countries considered to be the countries of the West, my Lord, for it is really through the spreading of your Holy Church that these countries have come to be what they now are.” The Lord said unto me, “The whole earth is mine and everything that is in it, therefore it matters not where one boundary of mankind begins and the other boundary ends. Many countries have been the greatest and most powerful and have risen and fallen. Each had their own idea of governing, trade and military, and believed that they were the ones who governed rightfully, yet all have eventually fallen and did not rise again, except one. Do not oppress the poor, while showing favor to the rich. Do not rule over the people with cruelty and injustice. Do not rule your nation with greed, nor burden the people with overbearing taxes. Do not go to war at the beckoning of those with dark hearts. Do not let wicked men and women rule over you. Defend those who are oppressed by evil. Refrain from removing me from your society. Teach your children the love of the Lord God. If any nation does these things and honors my name, they will surely be blessed and I will cause them to prosper, but if any nation ceases to honor me, they will fall, and their time is short. If you look upon the world of mankind, he is surely lost. Despite all his knowledge and strength, he cannot save himself. The world of mankind seeks its own demise, and they will surely destroy themselves by their own darkness. Mankind has an insatiable desire for greed, honor, power, wealth and control. He sets himself up to believe that he is his own god, though he never considers himself to be this way. Return to Chapter Index The Nations of our Time 77 Chapter 22 I tell you that it is not the Lord God who will bring down fire upon the earth, but the angels of the Lord will allow the darkness to come forth as mankind has chosen - and those days will be a time of terrible suffering for all of mankind. Darkness cannot help but destroy itself, as it is in the very nature of darkness to kill and covet. The light of the Lord God, however, does not destroy that which is eternally of the Lord God. The light and the darkness will not exist eternally, only the light. I say unto the leaders of the nations of mankind, turn away from your path of destruction. Seek out my word and I will grant you wisdom to lead in righteousness, and do not dismiss in your heart the failures of the rulers before you. Do not shed blood in the pursuit of power, wealth and gold. Do not create fortified cities to defend from the darkness, but march forward with the light of the Lord as your banner. Let your nation reflect love, mercy, forgiveness and peace, for power belongs to the Lord and the Lord alone, and I have granted it to you so that you may do good and not evil. The nation that does these things will stand; the nation that does them not, will fall and will not rise again.” Return to Chapter Index The Other Religions 78 Chapter 23 The Other Religions Chapter 23 I then asked the Lord, “Lord, other religions that do not accept you as their Savior but teach of good works, morality and submissiveness to God - are they condemned to blinding of the light? I have always thought that there must be another way, and that you are God and therefore, can you not make yourself known in other forms to mankind?” The Lord said unto me, “Does not your question contain the subtle error of deceit that has led many astray? If I am God, then tell me who I am? Where does mankind get his knowledge of me and how does he know me? Does the Lord God change from one moment of mankind’s time to another? The Word of God is eternal and everlasting and has stood as His proclamation to mankind for thousands of years. It was revealed to mankind in the flesh. The evidence of my being has been given to mankind since the beginning of their existence, and has never been lost, nor will it ever be. The Word has been given to mankind for those who seek it in truth - and not one word of it, has failed to come to pass, nor will that which is written of what is still to come fail to take place. I tell you that many have come, and many will come who will lead the world of mankind astray. Those who seek wisdom and truth, however, are to find it only in me. If one proclaims as truth a revelation from God, test it against the word that has been written. The wisdom of the Lord cannot be set aside, nor can any promise of it ever fail. Mankind can neither contain, nor corrupt the light; knowledge and truth of the Lord God and His word cannot be withheld from those who seek it in their hearts. I tell you that many false religions have risen and fallen. To those who follow other gods and have been deceived, I say unto you, turn to me and ask for wisdom, and do not follow the hardness of your own hearts. I am the God of all, and my love for you could be no greater. Come unto me and I will give you an eternal life of peace, joy and love in the light of the living God. Those who seek truth will find it; And those who seek a lie, will find it as well.” Return to Chapter Index The Last Row of Great Trees 79 Chapter 24 The Last Row of Great Trees Chapter 24 I asked the Lord, “Lord, the last question that I have for you is about this tree where we sit. It is the last tree of the Great Forest, and it appears that no other rows can be added, as it comes up to the face of the cliff wall and cannot pass. What does this tree symbolize my Lord, and will there be more?” The Lord then said unto me, “The tree which is great and bears fruit is also a great tree of faith. It is the first of the last twelve, and this tree will grow to great heights and bear much fruit. This tree will be joined by eleven others that will grow beside it. As it grows, so shall they, until the final row is completed. I tell you that the light of man is in the world for only awhile longer and so we must work while it is still day - for when the night comes, no one can work. The coming of the Lord God draws near, and the whole world will be exposed to the eternal light. I have called unto you so that mankind may hear the message of the Lord. Come unto me those who thirst, for in me you will thirst no more! Come unto me those who hunger, for in me is the eternal bread of life! Come unto me those who are weary, for in me is eternal rest! Come unto me those who are in darkness, for in me is eternal light! Come unto me those who hate, for in me is eternal love! Come unto me those who fear, for in me is eternal peace! Come unto me those who are lost, for in me you have been found! Come unto me all, for my hands have been laid open before you and my arms spread wide before the whole world. I will refuse no one who comes to me, for I am the eternal light of love, truth and peace.” I said unto the Lord, “Come, my Lord, for your people long to see you again and forever thereafter!” And the Lord rose and put His hands upon my face and smiled. He then said unto me, “I AM. That, I AM.” AMEN! Return to Chapter Index Of Michael 80 Chapter 25 Of Michael Chapter 25 I, Michael, whom the Lord God chose to write down this Book, now write down my own words, so that all who read this Book may know that I am the lowest among mankind. I do not seek glory, honor or attention from mankind, and I did not choose to seek out the things revealed to me. I have prayed to the Lord that mankind may not know my name - and if they are to do so, may it be after I have left the world of mankind, for I do not wish to suffer the darkness of mankind’s heart and be subjected to the judgment suffered by those who have been called to write down the Lord God’s words. Having said that, I am in complete surrender to His will, as my life is not my own. Do not think that I have not considered the costs of obeying the Lord God, as they have been great - but He is greater. I always knew of the Lord God, and theoretically I believed in Jesus Christ, however I did not seek Him out, nor did I pursue a life of righteousness. The way of the Lord I did not understand, and I had been a realist all of my life. I felt that if God was real and if He cared, I saw no evidence of this in my world, and I thoroughly believed that a man must look after himself, or no one else would. I walked many paths in the world of mankind, and they all led me back to the Lord God. I did nothing to deserve His calling. Many have said that prophets of the Lord are no longer necessary, because the full Word of God has been revealed unto mankind. I am not a theologian, nor will I speak against anyone who loves the Lord God, for they are my brothers and sisters in Christ. As it is written, “If we are out of minds, it is for the sake of God; if we are in our right mind, it is for you.” The Lord God has told me many things that have come to pass, and I have seen Him perform miracles through His word to me. The words that I have written were given to me in visions, conversations and walks with the Lord God. In great fear, I have written down what the Lord has commanded me to write, for I am not without reverence for the Lord and I fear judgment as do all who know the living God. The calling of the Lord God does not give a man room for his own will, as I say to you that one cannot know the living God and then walk in life as if he does not. I do not claim to be a prophet, nor do I claim to be more righteous than any other. I claim only what the Lord God has told me, and that which I have seen, heard and Return to Chapter Index Of Michael 81 Chapter 25 witnessed. There is no deception in my heart as pertains to this book, nor do I seek self-acclamation. Glory to God and God alone. I say to all who are reading this, so that you will know it and fix it in your mind, heart and soul: The Lord God is real, Heaven is real, angels are real, the darkness is real, and it is a greater truth than I could have ever imagined. With great pain and suffering I have written these words down, and whether or not they are accepted as truth by the body of Christ, I will leave to the Spirit of the Lord God to determine. My only hope, which I pray for more than anything else, is that these words may bring some of those who have chosen to reject His love, into His arms. I tell you that there is no greater love than that of the Lord God, and His beauty, majesty, power, love and gentleness cannot be truly understood or written down by mankind. I pray for peace to those who seek to know the Lord God, and may the Spirit of Christ rest upon you, giving you faith, hope and love throughout all your days. Trust in the Lord God, for He will not fail you. In Christ, Michael Return to Chapter Index