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#been consumed by every disease
rosescarves · 10 months
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kianri-ah · 1 year
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young royals has poisoned my entire brain i physically cannot make myself watch anything that isnt the exact same two guys falling in love and hurting and falling in love again it is a topic of concern now
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faetedforglory · 2 years
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planes nomad brain rot
#tbd#{Thinking about Keanu talking about being pretty much forbidden from returning to their home world}#{Maybe not legally but}#{They feel like they're seen as diseased. Contagious. Like a rabid animal that might infect others with their affliction}#{How they've been consumed by the fatal illnesses of hedonism and wanderlust}#{And how they can't understand their race's stagnation. How they can be content in stillness and rigidity}#{They've been blessed with the wonderful gift to explore every possible reality out there}#{And their kind chooses familiarity and a constant}#{It doesn't make sense to them. How can you not chase joy and excitement and heartache and the unknown and the impossible?}#{How can you waste away in monotony and mundane?}#{Their kind is meant for so much more. And they cannot fathom denying such a call}#{Their kind thinks that Keanu cannot know true happiness because their hearts will never be content with rest but}#{Keanu knows happiness. They just know there is no such thing as constant happiness like their kind has fooled themselves into thinking}#{Life is about pain and joy and suffering and love and loss and heartache and its so much more}#{They do not want constant happiness. They want to live. They want to cry and ache and love and regret and laugh and make memories}#{They may never have a physical home}#{But as long as they are free their hearts. Their body is their home}#{And Keanu thinks it's so silly to be cast out and ridiculed for wanting to live instead of be contained and unhappy}
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angelsforthenight · 5 months
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BEYOND SALVAGE — ellie williams x fem!reader.
a catholic boarding school AU pt 1 🍓
pt 2 here!
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you’re somebody that’s virtuous, staying in an all girls catholic boarding school. fallen victim to the vast fear of god, you try your hardest not to sin. however what happens when an embarrassing incident catches a certain rogue girl’s attention — who absolutely reeks of sin?
content: heavy religious talk, catholic, holy! reader, rebel!ellie, quiet!reader, player!ellie, ellie has piercings, ‘lil raunchy but no smut (yet heheh), v brief mention of drugs, v brief mention of porn.
a/n: this is a rewrite of a fic i did back in the summer! i had accidentally (and stupidly) deleted my account :,) let’s pray people see this.
having lived in a catholic boarding school for half of your life, it’s only natural you were heavily religious. the fear of god plagued you like a disease. you were nailed on following the Word, and earning a seat in heaven — not it’s roaring, fiery counterpart.
you were a good girl: always following the rules the sisters bestowed upon you. always deemed as pure, and untainted. you prayed every night without fail: knelt beside your bed, elbows against the mattress, hands clasped together.
you had always tried your hardest to stray away from sin. however, there’d be temptations, of course. for instance, that one time you caught a bunch of girls in your dorm giggling and squealing at a porno-magazine they had randomly found somewhere. you had accidentally caught a very brief glimpse at a woman flaunting her tits and you couldn’t quite put your finger on it, but it made you feel something. a needy little throb between your thighs. that night, consumed with guilt, you had prayed so hard that your head hurt.
oh, and if we’re talking about temptations? ELLIE WILLIAMS had to be the hardest one yet.
take the word sinful and ellie would come to mind. she was someone you had always tried your best to avoid. rebellious, brash and cocky. it was said she was forced here as punishment from her parents. she had always been hard to discipline: had piercings (spider bites and one on her right brow), always snuck out and was notorious for smuggling in drugs.
even though ellie was a pain, there was no way the nuns could expel her since her parents sponsored the school a generous amount. they had to resort to seeing ellie as someone they could “save.”
whenever she roamed the hallways, every girl would scramble to move out of her way. she was incredibly intimidating and got into fights whenever she wanted to — both with students AND the sisters. of course you wouldn’t want to mess with her.
there were also numerous rumours circling around about her. too many to count, but one stuck with you the most: that she gets it on with girls. hearing from your gossip-gripped friends that ellie had fucked a handful of girls in your school had surprised you. you were brutally naive, so preoccupied with seeming good in the eyes of the Lord that you weren’t aware that something like that could happen. this had only made you want to stay away from ellie even more.
you were quiet, so timid and meek that you believed yourself lucky to actually have friends. your quietness allowed ellie not to notice you, not even be aware of your existence despite you two being in a lot of the same classes. you didn’t mind — in fact, you were glad. relieved, even.
that is, until the school’s annual sports day.
it was a scorching hot day in the middle of june and many of the girls were excited. not particularly because of the sports but because every time, the neighbouring all boys school would join yours. a classic boys versus girls. you didn’t really care whether the boys were here or not, as opposed to your friends who were all bashful and red-faced. you found it understandable considering they’re sheltered away from them most of the time. bless them.
you and your friends were leaning against the fence of the tennis court. you were so hot that your t-shirt stuck to the small of your back, little baby hairs glued to your forehead. bored from all the boy-talk, your eyes decided to drift to a certain auburn-haired girl: manspreading on the bench right across from you. you wondered how a woman could sit so unladylike.
ellie was out of breath, probably from doing a running activity. there was visible sweat gleaming on the corner of her forehead and her cheeks were pink. god knows why, but you allowed yourself to prolong your stare. you watched as ellie grabbed her water bottle, gulping down desperate sips; some of the water spilling and dripping down her slender neck. you watched as the skin on her neck bobbed as she sipped, heard as she panted breathlessly like a dog. you felt the skin on your cheeks begin to prickle, and you suddenly found it hard to breathe. when her pale green eyes caught yours, you immediately looked away, turning your attention back to your friends. that was the first time you two had ever made eye contact.
a moment later, it was your group��s turn to play tennis. ellie remained perched on the bench, and as you waited in the queue to have a go on batting the ball, you happened to be quite near her. you tried your very best to play it cool. ellie paid no attention, spaced-out and obviously too lazy to participate in the activities.
there were also boys in the queue, right behind you, which had got your girls in a frenzy. one of your friends decided to push you against them. “oops” she would say before purposely bumping you towards them again and again. you were awkward and uncomfortable, but you had played it off and giggled, acting as if it was funny. at a point, she accidentally pushed you too hard which made you lose your balance; stumbling on your heel and falling backwards. right onto ellie’s lap. yep! her lap.
“woah?” ellie said, caught off guard. “oh shit. go. go!” your so-called friends murmured as they scrambled off, leaving you completely and utterly humiliated. you immediately bolted off her lap as you turned around to look at her.
“i’m really sorry. that was— i mean, my f-friends were…” you began to ramble, feeling your whole body turn hot. ellie’s lips cracked up into an amused grin.
“it’s chill. not very often you get a cute girl sitting on your lap for less than a second.” she chuckled. you blushed immensely, before rapidly nodding and speeding away.
if only your little innocent self knew how quick things would change…
a/n: hooked? read pt 2 here!
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reality-detective · 2 months
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MORE ABOUT THIS↙️
Do you Love making natural remedies?
Did you know that you can easily make this powerful remedy at home?
you will only need :
• 1 orange 🍊
• 1 Lime 💚
• 1 Lemon 🍋
• Onion skin (From 1 🧅)
• Big chunk of ginger 💛
• 5 willow leaves 🍃
• 1/2 tsp Turmeric 🧡
• Pinch of black pepper 🖤 (to activate Turmeric)
• More than pinch of Chilli pepper 🌶
1. Drop them all into a pot
2. Pour in water so all ingredients are under water
3. Steep for 15-20 mins
And you done ✅
Drink 1-2 cups daily
Good in fridge for up to a week+
Benefits of :
Orange 🍊 :
The vitamin C in it can help :
• Protect your cells from damage
• Helps your body make collagen.
Lime 💚 & Lemon 🍋:
• Consuming limes or drinking the juice may improve immunity
• Reduce heart disease risk factors
• Prevent kidney stones
Onion skin 🧅 :
• The skins of onion provides an excellent source of vitamins A, C, E, and numerous antioxidants.
• They're also a rich source of flavonoids, and anti-inflammatory properties.
Ginger 💛 :
• Has powerful components that lower blood sugar levels and prevent heart disease
• Eating ginger every day can regulate the production of insulin in patients with diabetes.
Willow bark 🍃 :
• Has been used throughout the centuries in China and Europe, and continues to be used today for the treatment of pain (particularly low back pain and osteoarthritis), headache, and inflammatory conditions, such as bursitis and tendinitis.
Turmeric 🧡 :
• Its most active compound, curcumin, has many scientifically proven health benefits, such as the potential to improve heart health
• Prevent against Alzheimer's and cancer.
Chilli pepper 🌶 :
• Helps Protect Your Heart.
• Can Help You Burn Fat and Lose Weight.
• Help Soothe Intestinal Diseases.
U can sure use fewer ingredients then shown, if u are sick just use those witch are needed at that time. 🤔
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A taxonomy of corporate bullshit
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Next Tuesday (Oct 31) at 10hPT, the Internet Archive is livestreaming my presentation on my recent book, The Internet Con.
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There are six lies that corporations have told since time immemorial, and Nick Hanauer, Joan Walsh and Donald Cohen's new book Corporate Bullsht: Exposing the Lies and Half-Truths That Protect Profit, Power, and Wealth in America* provides an essential taxonomy of this dirty six:
https://thenewpress.com/books/corporate-bullsht
In his review for The American Prospect, David Dayen summarizes how these six lies "offer a civic-minded, reasonable-sounding justification for positions that in fact are motivated entirely by self-interest":
https://prospect.org/culture/books/2023-10-27-lies-my-corporation-told-me-hanauer-walsh-cohen-review/
I. Pure denial
As far back as the slave trade, corporate apologists and mouthpieces have led by asserting that true things are false, and vice-versa. In 1837, John Calhoun asserted that "Never before has the black race of Central Africa, from the dawn of history to the present day, attained a condition so civilized and so improved, not only physically, but morally and intellectually." George Fitzhugh called enslaved Africans in America "the freest people in the world."
This tactic never went away. Children sent to work in factories are "perfectly happy." Polluted water is "purer than the water that came from the river before we used it." Poor families "don't really exist." Pesticides don't lead to "illness or death." Climate change is "beneficial." Lead "helps guard your health."
II. Markets can solve problems, governments can't
Alan Greenspan made a career out of blithely asserting that markets self-correct. It was only after the world economy imploded in 2008 that he admitted that his doctrine had a "flaw":
https://www.pbs.org/newshour/show/greenspan-admits-flaw-to-congress-predicts-more-economic-problems
No matter how serious a problem is, the market will fix it. In 1973, the US Chamber of Commerce railed against safety regulations, because "safety is good business," and could be left to the market. If unsafe products persist in the market, it's because consumers choose to trade safety off "for a lower price tag" (Chamber spox Laurence Kraus). Racism can't be corrected with anti-discrimination laws. It's only when "the market" realizes that racism is bad for business that it will finally be abolished.
III. Consumers and workers are to blame
In 1946, the National Coal Association blamed rampant deaths and maimings in the country's coal-mines on "carelessness on the part of men." In 2003, the National Restaurant Association sang the same tune, condemning nutritional labels because "there are not good or bad foods. There are good and bad diets." Reagan's interior secretary Donald Hodel counseled personal responsibility to address a thinning ozone layer: "people who don’t stand out in the sun—it doesn’t affect them."
IV. Government cures are always worse than the disease
Lee Iacocca called 1970's Clean Air Act "a threat to the entire American economy and to every person in America." Every labor and consumer protection before and since has been damned as a plague on American jobs and prosperity. The incentive to work can't survive Social Security, welfare or unemployment insurance. Minimum wages kill jobs, etc etc.
V. Helping people only hurts them
Medicare will "destroy private initiative for our aged to protect themselves with insurance" (Republican Senator Milward Simpson, 1965). Covid relief is unfair to people that are currently in the workforce" (Republican Governor Brian Kemp, 2021). Welfare produces "learned helplessness."
VI. Everyone who disagrees with me is a socialist
Grover Cleveland's 2% on top incomes is "communistic warfare against rights of property" (NY Tribune, 1895). "Socialized medicine" will leave "our children and our children’s children [asking] what it once was like in America when men were free" (Reagan, 1961).
Everything is "socialism": anti-child labor laws, Social Security, minimum wages, family and medical leave. Even fascism is socialism! In 1938, the National Association of Manufacturers called labor rights "communism, bolshevism, fascism, and Nazism."
As Dayen says, it's refreshing to see how the right hasn't had an original idea in 150 years, and simply relies on repeating the same nonsense with minor updates. Right wing ideological innovation consists of finding new ways to say, "actually, your boss is right."
The left's great curse is object permanence: the ability to remember things, like the fact that it used to be possible for a worker to support a family of five on a single income, or that the economy once experienced decades of growth with a 90%+ top rate of income tax (other things the left manages to remember: the "intelligence community" are sociopathic monsters, not Trump-slaying heroes).
When the business lobby rails against long-overdue antitrust action against Amazon and Google, object permanence puts it all in perspective. The talking points about this being job-destroying socialism are the same warmed-over nonsense used to defend rail-barons and Rockefeller. "If you don't like it, shop elsewhere," has been the corporate apologist's line since slavery times.
As Dayen says, Corporate Bullshit is a "reference book for conservative debating points, in an attempt to rob them of their rhetorical power." It will be out on Halloween:
https://bookshop.org/a/54985/9781620977514
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If you'd like an essay-formatted version of this post to read or share, here's a link to it on pluralistic.net, my surveillance-free, ad-free, tracker-free blog:
https://pluralistic.net/2023/10/27/six-sells/#youre-holding-it-wrong
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shaesinflames · 5 months
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🌥️ Rainbow Factory Infection AU🌥️
Hello everypony!! Ive been loving the infection stuff and wanted to jump onto the trend myself with an AU that came to me very suddenly. I'm gonna try and get all my thoughts out here:
☁️ Scootaloo fails her flying assessment by getting disqualified for checking on her injured friend who had crashed during their turn. The two of them get taken to the Rainbow Factory as a punishment for their failure, and quickly realize the deadly situation they're in.
🌈 There are few dozen pegasi there already. All of their wings have been torn off of them, their cutiemarks are branded over, and chains are fastened around either their legs or neck. They all seem so... dull. As if the color has been stolen from them.
☁️ Rainbow Dash enters to examine the new sacrifices, and is mortified when she sees Scootaloo. She had trained her every day to prevent this from happening; she never wanted the pony she thought of as a little sister to end up here. Dash had to quickly decide if she was more loyal to her career, or to her friends.
🌈 She chooses Scootaloo. This does not go over well. Whether you enter the Rainbow Factory as a prisoner or an employee, you were not allowed to leave until you died. Rainbow Dash grabs Scootaloo and attempts to flee with her.
☁️ A chase ensues. She realizes that even if they do escape, they wouldn't be free. They would be hunted for as long as the factory existed. The answer suddenly seems obvious. Dash veers away from the exit and heads deeper into the building, straight for the core.
🌈 Because of her high status in the company (and a lot of kicking), Rainbow Dash gets into the restricted access room and corrupts the core, sparking a reactor meltdown. Her and Scootaloo manage to escape seconds before the core collapses, and the Rainbow Factory is lost to the rainbows it created.
☁️ Not long after, ponies begin to emerge from the ruins. Well, they seem to still be ponies. Mostly ponies. The Inital Victims. The pegasi who had been deemed useless and dispensable in one way or another, and had been put through torture for weeks or months in order to drain them of their very magic and soul.
🌈 The Victims seem to have a symbiotic relationship with the Rainbow Infection in their body. They live just out of reach of death; gaunt and hollow, yet somehow surviving. Blind, weak, and terrified, they seem to believe they're still trapped in the factory, and will viciously maul any living being they sense with a newfound strength. So far, they don't seem to be curable, or killable.
☁️ The Infected pegasi have a much more unpleasant experience. Every waking moment is nothing but agony as the infection consumes their magic and feast on their vessel, reducing them to nothing more than another fluffy white cloud looming in the sky.
🌈 The Infected aren't hostile, and seem to still be lucid up until their death. However, they are incredibly contagious, and the final stage of the infection seems to be designed specifically to further the disease.
☁️ Unicorns and Earth ponies are completely immune to the Rainbow Infection. Alicorns are not. The princess's have been barricaded in Celestia's castle to protect them all.
🌈 Without any pegasi to moderate the weather, it has become increasingly unpredictable and harsh, making typical farm work almost impossible. The Survivors are getting low on rations, and they're getting desperate and hungry.
I think thats about it. Idk at the time of writing this its 3am lol.
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bloodycassian · 2 months
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Reborn - Reader x Azriel. AN - thank you anon for this great prompt!
Requested - I don't know if your requests are open but I wanted to throw something in just in case.
An Azriel x reader, where AZ and reader have never met before, reader has been tortured and experimented on by the court of nightmares ( Keir ) she could be a shadowsinger, and they're mates, when the reader is in the verge of death for refusing to work with Keir, AZ feels it and begins to grow hectic without knowing the reason,  everyone in the inner court is confused until elain comes out of nowhere and tells everyone that his mate is in danger. ( Vision )
I have this on the back of my mind since reading some of your amazing work and couldn't stop thinking about it.
No amount of masturbation, drinking, or sparring helps the agitation under Azriel’s skin. It’s a constant, burning, itching thing that’s like a fucking disease upon his being. 
Sleep is his only relief, but even then he’s plagued with pain and darkness. It reminds him too much of the dank basement he’d been forced into when he was young, so he stays up. He’s exhausted and brooding and quick to snap at anyone who questions him. He knows he’s being a dick but according to the five healers he’d seen, there was nothing wrong. 
Nothing wrong, just like how his shadows weren’t some kind of magic, according to them. 
He’d refused to believe in healers all that much since the explanation Madja had given him about his diseased pets. The writhing, tentacles of night were a ‘bodily mutation of the highest level, tainted with fae magic’. Tainted. The word felt right for what they were, but that didn’t mean it stung any less. 
“We’ll invade here, and be able to plant our…” There was a beat of silence in Amren’s quick words, then her voice cut through his busybodied task like a knife “Azriel, are you even listening?” 
Truthfully, he hadn’t been. He’d been consumed by the ache again, the broiling sickness beneath his skin that had every muscle flexed in tension. His mind had other battles to fight. 
“What does it matter? You’ll carry out your plan with or without me. Keep talking, make yourself feel important, Amren.” His ill-tempered response came quick and laced with venom. One glance towards the small not-quite-fae female and his mind gave a twinge of regret. 
A lick of her power radiated, filling the room with something vibrant and undeniable. Cassian sucked in a breath, and a word from Rhys had her firey gaze snapping to him instead. “Take your dog from the important business then, High Lord.” Her words were precise, hissed. 
Azriel straightened. The insult didn’t land as well as Amren had wanted, in part because he couldn’t care less, another because the fire under his skin was reaching a peak that he had no idea how he survived every time it came around. He glanced to Rhys, who gave him a nod. Good. Let him free of this cage. 
He flung open the balcony doors with his cursed gift and sprinted off the ledge, launching himself into the summer air. 
+
Rats nibbled at your toes when you slept, scurrying away before you could catch them. Your senses weren’t even close to what they had been months ago. Before, you’d been able to catch at least two a week for extra sustenance. 
You told yourself that they’d learned, that they’d gotten quicker at their biting and fleeing. Truthfully, you could feel your strength waning every day. 
Living was no longer hope, and more of an inconvenience. 
But it was an inconvenience to Kier as well. And that meant you’d keep on living out of spite. 
The next female would appreciate it. 
“Arms up, legs together.” The order came with unnatural casualness that you’d grown used to. If you didn’t follow the orders, you were beaten until you either complied or were unconscious, so complying was really the only option. Especially when you were attempting to stay alive for as long as you could. 
It’s for the next girl. You chanted to yourself when the keeper made the injection. It stung like hundreds of bees attacking the same place, but the pain was familiar. A friend you welcomed before everything went sideways and the nausea rolled in. 
The drug Kier’s men gave was like none you’d experienced outside this cell. An incredible high, with a disastrous low. 
You convulsed on the floor moments later, your body still barely able to take the amount they dosed you with. You’d seen the liquid inside the damn thing grow each week, they were marking your progress with every one of them. So, with each dosing you made sure to put on some dramatics for them. 
The clawing at the throat was false, the sound of your screams only half-forced. The real, unforced reaction though, was always the shade of pallor your skin turned after every injection. The darkness that radiated from you like a bubble, the pain made physical. 
It hovered over your skin like an aura, tendrils of it washing over your forehead when the sweating started. It always started like this, for the first few hours - or possibly minutes, you weren’t sure once you were lost to the pain - they’d observe, and sometimes Kier himself would join, looking like a disappointed mother. Then, once the shaking subsided, and you were able to breathe normally, they’d release a rabbit into your cell. 
The same rabbit almost every damn time. After the first two weeks, you’d grabbed the first one and snapped it’s neck, hoping that Kier would be happy with the accomplishment and you’d earn something. You’d felt awful as it died in your hands, but the pain… if it stopped the pain, you’d kill anything. 
But time after time, they’d send in another rabbit, and though you begged for some kind of explanation of what they wished with the damn thing, they’d only observe. After a few hours of investigating, it’d eventually be removed and you’d wake up alone again.
Kier did not make an appearance today, and after your shaking stopped, neither did a rabbit.
“Where’s dinner?” You croaked, the tears stinging small cuts on your cheeks. Your friend never laughed or spoke, hardly even moved when he was in the vicinity of your cell. It was odd, even for a freak who enjoyed drugging and torturing others.
The male only stared, writing in his little notebook. He could at least humor you and tell you what he was so keenly logging. Some friend.
He opened the door, but instead of the rabbit jumping inside, he stepped forward, past the barrier and wards keeping you from breaking through. Your breathing halted. 
“Your reluctance to learn your gifts has given us no other option.”
+
“Did you lose a fight?” 
Nesta’s words normally bounced and slid right off Azriel, but with how volatile he was feeling, it took all his restraint not to snarl at her.
“Come on Az, where’s that quick wit?” She chided, crossing her legs at the knee beside her sister. 
His eyes drifted to Elain, the warm blush of her cheeks. Her lavender nightshirt made her seem so much more vulnerable than she was. He knew just how lethal the female could be, and admired her for it. His eyes drifted to the soft hair and round features that he’d once dreamt of. How foolish he’d been, how full of hope and bitterness. Now here he was, merely a ghost. A shell for pain to be housed in and nothing more. 
And here he stared at a garden of hope and light. The female who’d haunted his dreams for years. The opposite of the steel bitch that sat beside her. 
A pang of guilt pinched at him. “You’re ridiculous.” Was all he could muster at her. Nesta was trying to help, in her own way, he supposed. She was testing his limits and temper, even while balancing comforting words and attempting to heal her little sister’s mental wounds. Not to mention navigating the strange, untrained gift of Elain’s.
It wasn’t often that Azriel came to the house of wind proper. When he did, he usually confined himself to the dining area and the war room, where the formal dinners and meetings were held. He hadn’t walked the halls into the large internal library in a long, long while. No wonder they both had turned their chairs to face him when he’d cracked the door to find them both here. 
The large windows seemed crowded with the amount of books that surrounded them. The only source of light, aside from the twinkling magic fueled ones above. The room had always made Azriel feel claustrophobic, and now it set him on edge in a way different than it had before. 
Especially when Elain’s eyes bored into his own. His skin felt like it was shifting, pulling and pushing from just beneath. He was beginning to wonder if the healers had somehow missed a parasite of some kind. Something new perhaps, something they’d never seen before.
Elain’s eyes widened, her cheeks going from the pink blush to sickly pale in an instant. Her expression was unfocused, hazy - as if she were drunk. Azriel suddenly felt like he was intruding, like seeing her so vulnerable was something reserved for only those close to her. 
Nesta placed a hand on her shoulder and rubbed her sister’s back comfortingly. It was about as tender as Azriel had ever seen her, even with Cassian. He watched the hands that rubbed the Seer, recalling the intense desire he’d once felt for her. Embarrassment coated his cheeks, distracting him from the physical pain for a moment.
He’d wanted to be that support for her, once. Nesta’s hand seemed to grow in his vision, the embroidered collar of Elain’s nightshirt with it. He blinked rapidly, trying to refocus. The blackness around his eyes did not recede though. His bones ached, and his headache stabbed at him like a branding iron. He rubbed his temple, squeezing his eyes shut. 
“She needs help.” Elain gasped, coughing on a breath. Azriel wavered on his heels, something hard hitting his back, crushing his wings. 
He could barely hear the high strung sound of Elain’s voice. “She needs help, Azriel!”
+
He tore though the court, dragging Kier kicking and frothing with him. He’d received a few severe wounds from the cruel male, but nothing that a few patches of his siphons couldn’t hold together. 
The gushing stab wounds could wait. He had something far more important to tend to.
“You’re a bastard, a low-born inconsequential bastard, Shadowsinger.” Kier coughed as Azriel dragged his broken body with him. The crowd pushed and writhed around them, but his outstretched dagger kept any of the patrons from advancing. Several dark looks, hisses of death closed in around him, but he plowed through them all, working his way to the catacombs behind the stone chair that served as Rhys’s dark throne. 
“I may be a bastard-” Azriel grunted through his pain, now more fevored and intense than before. It was a wonder he’d even been able to make it here, but it did explain his sloppy handling of Kier once he’d found the male. 
“But at least I didn’t sell a daughter off as stock.” He tossed the would-be-king to the locked door of the catacombs, a part of him enjoyed the thunk his head made against the stone floor, even through the intense agony that ripped through him. 
This was not the place to show weakness. If he let his shadows drop, let the air of anything but a cold hearted killer go for even a moment he’d be trampled by the crowd. 
Kier rose slowly, muttering curses while he pulled out a key and slid the door to the side. He sketched a bow, waving Azriel in. Spit landed at Azriels feet as he crossed the threshold, and he hesitated in his step. A hiss rang out behind him, shuffling feet a song as the crowd quickly scooted back. He held his stance there for a moment, collecting the wrath that built in him. It writhed and twisted in his mind, his guts, his teeth throbbing with the urge to tare out Kier’s throat. 
The blistering heat flared again, this time in his jaw and he moved down the hall, towards the cells that an unfortunate assistant to Kier had described. 
He’d made their death quick, painless. 
+
You couldn’t scream, could hardly breathe with the weight that seemed to be growing in your chest. 
Not weight exactly, more like pressure. Internal pressure, like there was lava built up inside you with nowhere to go. And every rattling breath seemed to give it more life. You wheezed, weak with the exhaustion of fighting it. 
Your friend had given you three more of the injections, and promptly left when you began struggling against the binds at your hands and feet. One of them had ripped, you only knew because that was the hand that you’d used to claw at your chest with. 
The blood made going any further too slippery and exhausting.
There were far away sounds, but it all seemed too strange, so disjointed to be real. Screams and sharp clangs of metal, breaking glass and thudding. 
Your eyes slipped closed, and relief washed over you. The pressure eased, and the squeaky hinges of the door opened. Had death finally come? Was this the end of your cycle, and now they were bringing in a new victim to Kier’s experiments? 
There wasn’t much of a goodbye to the world, though. As sad as it was to not be able to see your family again, you were just grateful that the pain was receding. That finally there’d be no injections, no innocent rabbit and certainly no Kier around. 
The sounds were strange, a choking, strangled sound like the first time you’d killed the rabbit. Your eyes cracked open almost involuntarily to see what had happened. 
Outside your cell in a glow of blue light was a winged male, his hand wrist deep inside your friend’s chest. 
+
Blood is hotter than most people think it is. Azriel takes joy in it though, when it’s the blood of the truly vile ones. The male with the syringes and log book reeked of something spiced and foreign, something Azriel’d never encountered before. He would have asked, would have talked to the male if he’d not pulled a knife and threatened to ‘kill her’ as he backed away. 
There were no thoughts after that. And as he fell to the floor, Azriel reveled in the male’s labored breathing. Relief and heat flooded him, prickling him with a soaring joy he’d thought abandoned him long ago. He could laugh, if it weren’t for the absurdity of how it sounded to laugh at this moment.
 He plucked the book from his hands and shoved it into his belt behind him, his chest thrumming with joy.
He’d never been so filled with glee before, so overwhelmed with it after killing… Had he become broken in a sick way? Was he no better than the male he’d just killed? He looked to his hand, twisting it in the low light of his siphons. 
A wet, weak cough echoed off the walls and he spun, knife ready. 
Then the blade was on the floor as he rushed to the bars of the cell door, ripping it free of the rusted hinges. 
The female was gaunt, and frail. Yet his chest sang and though she looked moments from death, he couldn’t imagine more beauty. 
She clutched her chest, the blood there crusted and dry. “Thanks.” She croaked, voice barely a whisper. Shadows mounted around him, enclosing them in complete black. He would have thought he was winnowing if it weren't for the sorry excuse for a bed that stayed beneath her.
Azriel’s lips were moving, but he couldn’t tell what he was saying, even to his own ears. His mind, his body was a rushing river of every emotion at once, all cascading through his mind, to his chest and thrumming in his blood. Her eyes went wide and wild, searching his for a moment. His heart thundered in his ears.
What had his life been until now? Why was this moment such a climax to him so suddenly? All of it, the pain the agony, the stark moments of joy against it all - the brief moments of shared happiness that made it all worth it tore through his body like a flash floor. 
Tears pricked his eyes, and it was a curious thing to see them fall onto her neck and wash away the blood there. 
Then, a wet sigh from her lips, and her eyes stopped searching his. The rush of joy and sense of sanctuary ceased. His blood went quiet in his ears, and the room felt suddenly cold. The room silent around him, not even his shadows dared whisper.
His fingers hesitated over her cheek. When her next breath did not come, he shook her gently. Her eyes remained, staring blankly at the ceiling. 
This was truly a tomb now. 
“No…” He heard his own words that time. The word clattered through the cell like a bell tolling, echoing.
“Take her back.” A shadow hissed over his ear, caressing. 
He shook her again, the tears boiling over now, panic gripping him. 
“We know how.” another said. This voice was different, the same whispered tone and suggestion, but this was not one of his pets. He sent his own shadows skittering away, and a group of them stayed, unbound to him and unmoving from the cell. His heart skipped, fear upon fear pulling him into the icy abyss of despair. 
His own shadows returned, a broken syringe floating to him on their behest. They mingled with the others, reveling and dancing together though Azriel felt that he was slowly sinking.
“What am I supposed to do with this?!” He shouted at them, at nothing. He had truly lost his mind, hadn’t he?
“Save her.” The strange shadows told him. Just like Elain had said, overtaken by her visions.
 A tendril of the foreign shadow wrapped around his hand, locking the glass pieces there and slicing into his palm. The needle aimed directly to her chest, between the ribs, only a few inches from the heart. 
And what did he have to lose? The silence that surrounded him now was almost worse than the pain had been. Wouldn't pain at least be better than complete nothingness? To feel completely blank and unwritten as a being?
With a breath, and a part of his siphon’s power to support the broken syringe, he pushed into her skin. His own blood dribbled down the sides, mixing with hers. Through and through - until he knew that he’d met the same depth of a killing blow to an opponent’s heart. 
+
“Side, block, strike.” Cassian’s orders came out in demanding, practiced tones. Each step, each swipe of your blade met with one of Azriel’s shadows as a shield. 
His were still much, much stronger than yours, even after months of practice with them. Even with him showing you very intimately just how much they were capable of. Your cheeks blushed at the reminder of that. 
“No distractions, keep that shadow talk in the bedroom, Az.” Cassian scolded.
A smirk played at your mate’s face, and he hit you with a surprise swipe at your feet, left unprotected by your own shadows. 
You fell on your ass, cursing. 
Azriel offered a hand, panting at the exertion the sparring had taken. You were proud of that, at least. 
The first six months of training had been dedicated to building stamina, gaining back weight and muscle while balancing training your shadows to obey you. Six months ago, being able to spar with your mate had seemed like a far off dream that you’d never be capable of doing. 
But with his training, and Cassian’s encouragement, you were almost able to take him on stride for stride. Almost. 
So, you took his hand and pulled him towards you for a kiss. Then knocked his knees out from behind with a wave of your own shadows.
You smirked, and offered him a hand while Cassian boomed with laughter.
He allowed you to help him up, but cleaned in close, pecking a kiss on your cheek. 
“You’ll pay for that later.” He said in an intimate tone. A lick of his shadow wrapped around your thigh, snaking upwards. 
“Promise?” Your eyes sparkled at him, and the pain all those months ago had been worth it for this. 
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nebbyy · 1 month
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hello could you do headcanons smut of baldwin and his chubby wife
King Baldwin x reader - Nsfw headcanons
A/N: Wow these is the first explicit stuff I write for Baldwin!! Thank you so much for this prompt, thinking of a chubby medieval woman makes me think of all the portraits of beautiful women with the most harmonious curves I've ever seen😩😩
As always painting name is Romeo and Juliet by Frank Bernard Dicksee for my art enthusiasts :))
Warning: SMUT, reader is AFAB and uses she/her pronouns!
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Unlike modern times, a fuller body has always been sign of beauty and fertility through western history
Although during medieval times anything related to attractiveness and sensuality was deemed as "bad", that still meant that a chubby woman would've been judged not for being against the beauty standard, but to be actually too tempting for the public!
So it comes without saying that young king Baldwin thought he might pass out the first time he saw you, knowing you were his betrothed
You'd awakened something in him, this burning desire to have you, to know how your soft curves would feel in his hands, how your silky skin would brush against his own
I see him having a long series of consecutive days where he woke up drenched in sweat, body slightly trembling as he'd come out of yet another wet dream about you, lying beneath him as he had his sweet way with you
He felt himself getting more and more impatient for the wedding night day to come, to finally be able to call you his
He'd also be quite insecure at first, and scared too. What if the sight of his body repulsed you? What if you wouldn't want to go near him to avoid the risk of getting the disease as well?
He wouldn't blame you for it, it'd be the wiser decision for the both of you
But still, he prays and hopes and dreams that you'd return the attraction he felt from you from the very start. He longs for the feeling of your touch against his numb body
He's a bundle of nerves during the whole ceremony, but he's good at hiding it (well the veil covering his head is); he seems to all calm down only once you're both sitting next to each other at the banquet, and you tentatively lay your soft hand over his laying on the table, shy touches blessing his skin
That night your marriage is consumed in no time, he's basically as gentle as humanly possible while he holds you in his arms, as he's slowly penetrating you
There was no really developed knowledge of foreplay or female anatomy in the middle ages, but it just felt natural for Baldwin to keep his focus on your every reactions while the two of you are making love
He doesn't know what he's doing, and neither do you considering that at that time you probably haven't even seen a naked man other than Baldwin himself, but that doesn't stop the two of you from exploring each other, taking your time to get to know what you like, what makes your eyes roll back and your back arch
I'm not sure if he'd be down for oral, I kind of see him as being a bit self conscious of the level of decay his mouth and face has reached, and I'm not too sure his cum would actually taste good with leprosy and all
Nevertheless, his fingers and cock are more than enough to bring you more pleasure than you could ever imagine
Don't expect any public stuff, Baldwin is still an extremely religious man whose values are not to be messed with: these things are meant for the privacy of your quarters alone, there's no need for him to bring this sacred thing you two have out where all eyes could possibly see
He'd probably be more on the vanilla side, being mostly against anything related to giving pain (he'd be indifferent to receiving it since his body is mainly numb, but he wouldn't enjoy it either)
Although he would probably enjoy being the more dominant one in the bedroom, the power dynamic would still remain on a pretty balanced level: you're still his beloved wife, his only equal in his eyes. That's why I could confidently say that Baldwin is the perfect example of soft dom
His favorite position would probably be missionary, just so that he could be able to see your pretty face while he pounds into you
Also because he could get to hold your plush thighs and see the delightful rolls that form on your belly
Your body screams femininity and fertility to him, an alluring combination that gets him going for as much time as you two have
His numbness also grants him a reduced sensibility, so he can afford to go more rounds at a time without having too many problems from it
But as the years pass, his mobility becomes more restricted by his declining health, and along with his agility and stamina in battle his sickness gets the best of him even in the bedroom
And through it all, his burning desire for you was what got him going, what made him spare just a little more energies to later spend with you
The two of you would have to adapt, though, probably changing positions and frequency at which you guys have sex
You might start trying to be the one on top, and he'd guide your every movement while also trying not to lose his mind over just how perfect you look riding him, your every curve bouncing as you move up and down over his cock
He dreams of giving you a baby in those moments, filling you up to the brim, seeing your body get even fuller with your conjoint love. It really saddens him to think that it might never happen
But hope is the last one to die, and he gets his hopes up every time that he comes into your welcoming body, emptying his seed into you, hoping that one day this union will give life to a creature as beautiful as its mother
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jhkfan123 · 4 months
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don't forget me (like the others) | coriolanus snow
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pairing: mentor!coryosnow x mentor!reader
warnings: mc death, violence, graphic, soft!snow, hysterical reader
in which: the arena tour turned rebel bombing hit you hard. snow, your boyfriend of a few years, came out barely harmed. you however? that was a different story.
wc: 2.8k
a/n: THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR 100 FOLLOWERS!!! I LOVE YOU ALL SO MUCH AND IN RETURN.... 😏....you guys get an absolutely soul crushing fic that almost made me cry while i was writing it. enjoy!!! 🥰 (i'm so sorry)
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you were looking forward to your anniversary. three years. you and coryo had agreed to celebrate after your mentor work was done. that included touring the arena and preparing your tributes for the interviews.
you needed this plinth prize. your family wouldn't make it without the prize money in your possession. coryo offered to help you out, but you knew he couldn't contribute much. which meant you had to win the hunger games, or your tribute at least.
if your tribute, jessup diggs, didn't win, you had no shot at affording university. and without university, a well paying job wasn't in the question. so you were going to attempt to make the most out of the two events planned for the day. your boyfriend offered up some valuable advice to you in the days prior. his adjustments to the rules opened up some advantages. with the opportunity of sponsors, you just had to make jessup likable.
after your sit down meeting with jessup, you weren't as confident in his ability to win. his bat bite was getting bad. infection was going to consume him, or even worse some other disease bats could transmit. ebola, rabies, even. either way, it was going to be much harder for him to win. unless the others wiped the other tributes out, and he just waited it out. coryo had suggested that strategy to you. the two of you had talked for hours last night.
either way, it was now time to make your way to the arena. coriolanus, along with clemensia dovecote, had been pulled away, to dr. gaul's office. you hadn't seen him since the tribute meetings. but now, here, outside the gates of the arena, you waited for him.
they claimed they wouldn't start the tour until all mentors were there. that meant coryo. it was good to know he would be here for this. you saw his tribute, lucy gray baird, at the front of the line. she was amazing. a singer, from what you had heard on reaping day. coriolanus had told you that he was planning to get her to sing again. she was fidgeting, waiting for her mentor to arrive. you were too. you looked to your tribute, jessup besides you. he was fairly tall and strong, but he looked weak now. the bite got worse just in the period of time between your meeting and now.
"remember to take in every part of the arena. you need to familiarize yourself." you suggested. he didn't say anything, but nodded. he hadn't spoken much in the time you'd known him. you truly felt bad for him. you weren't supposed to get attached to your tributes. but jessup needed help. from a doctor. anyone. the minute the bell rings this time tomorrow morning, he would have little to no chance of winning. he was just a boy. he was a little younger than you. no one deserves to die that young.
while looking at him, you felt someone place a hand on your shoulder. you looked to your left and found your boyfriend, coryo, his hand resting on you. you de-tensed at his touch. you were glad he was here.
"hi." he was smiling now. he placed a quick kiss on your cheek and grabbed your hand in his.
"hey, coryo." you admired his features as he looked at you. the moment was interrupted when a peacekeeper shoved him forward. probably to align him with lucy gray. you hands were pulled apart. it was sudden. the peacekeepers had no time for pleasantries. when you could see he was next to lucy gray, the line began to move.
after numerous "enjoy the show!'s" you finally made your way in. it was very dark, you could barely see the person in front of you. there was a dim glow from capitol cameras gearing towards the front of the line. suddenly, a loud click allowed for all the windows to open in the arena, sunlight shining in. you gestured for jessup to follow you, and you made your way to coriolanus. he was with his tribute, in the center of the arena.
"do you know how long this is going to take?" you asked, regaining his hand in yours. he glanced over at you, his tribute too.
"they won't let us have much time." he said. he was probably right. it wasn't until a peacekeeper came on the PA system and claimed that you had 15 minutes to "tour the arena and discuss strategy." you nodded at the announcement. "stay by me, please. i wan't you safe. none of these tributes are cuffed." he said. you looked around. none of them seemed like immediate threats. they saw and were aware of the multiple peacekeepers assigned to each one. but you still, felt safer near coriolanus.
you turned to jessup, who was already looking around the arena. you surveyed it too. there was no where to go. it was a colosseum. a big circle with no escape. no where to go besides the main circle. you knew the games would be over quickly tomorrow. but you didn't want to tell jessup that. you assumed he already knew. but you had to say something. make use of this time.
as you opened your mouth, you were cut off by a loud boom. then another, then another, and another. you had no idea what was going on. you fell to the floor from the wind pushing you around. dust was everywhere. getting into your eyes and mouth and nose. suffocating. the loud noises kept on going. then you heard crumbling. the roof must have been falling. concrete was beginning to land everywhere around you. you heard shouting. then, you could identify a more specific voice. that of coriolanus's. he was shouting incoherently. you couldn't see him through the dust that hadn't yet settled. the loud booms stop, but the sound of the arena actively crumbling continued. you then felt sharp pains. in your legs, your arms, everywhere.
glass. it was getting everywhere.
you couldn't move. you were in a state of shock. and you were flat on the floor. every time you tried to crawl your body wouldn't budge. your boyfriend was still shouting things you couldn't make out. the ringing in your ears was too loud.
then he got closer. you could hear him better now. he was repeating the same word.
"MOVE!" you heard. he kept repeating himself. you understood him, but your brain wasn't working quite right. you still couldn't move. suddenly, you heard a screeching sound. metal. you managed to turn yourself onto your back. it was a bad idea. it wasn't until it was too late when you realized that the metal beam was falling in your direction. when you saw it become increasingly near, your body attempted to trigger fight or flight. you tried to move out of the way but it was too late. the beam slammed into you and everything went dark.
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the first thing you heard was your heartbeat. then you heard some sort of beeping. then your sight came in. blurry at first, but your eyes eventually focused on a blank ceiling. you took a deep breath and attempted to move your head. looking around, you identified the room around you as some sort of hospital room.
the next thing you became conscious of was the fact that something hurt like hell. you pinpointed it to somewhere on your leg, but you couldn't see. you wondered if you were alone. that was soon proven wrong when you noticed a certain blonde standing in the far corner of the room. he was talking to a doctor. the words were incoherent. then you noticed something unsettling. there were streaks of tears down his face.
that couldn't be good.
soon he noticed you were awake, and immediately rushed to your side.
"oh my god, are you up?" you could tell by his shaky voice that he had been crying. hard. you nodded and he broke out into a smile. he brushed your hair from your forehead and replaced it with a kiss. you smiled back at him.
"what happened?" you asked. his smile faded at your question.
"there was a rebel bombing. seven died." the number hurt your heard.
"seven? seven..mentors? tributes?" you asked. you weren't sure how that was going to help you.
"a mix of both. mostly tributes." he answered. you knew you had been unfit for this mentor position. you were far too empathetic for this. you shouldn't have started crying at the tribute's deaths. but you did. coriolanus immediately noticed. he shushed you and wiped your tears with his handkerchief.
"hey. remember. it would have been worse to die in the games tomorrow, right?" his attempt at making you feel better did nothing much. his answer also confused you. it would be cruel to continue with the games tommorow.
"the games are still happening?" you asked. he nodded with a melancholy feeling. "that's- awful." you couldn't believe the acts of the capitol. "which mentors are...gone?" you hesitated to even say it.
"diana and apollo. felix ravinstill is in critical condition." you had known the siblings well. and felix, well, his dad was president. this would not go unnoticed.
"oh no." you sighed. he grabbed your hand and intertwined it with his.
"it's going to be ok. you're going to be ok." there was something strange about the statement. it was like he was reassuring himself and not you. you nodded, almost hesitantly. "i should have helped you. i just stood there and shouted like an idiot-"
"don't start with that. please. don't kick yourself for it." you re-assured him. then you felt a sharp pain in your leg. you winced. you hissed through your teeth and the unexpected feeling.
"what? what? what it is?" he was immediately shot into a state of panic.
"my leg!" you shouted. it felt like it was on fire. you immediately reached down to grab where it hurt out of instinct, and when you released it, you found blood on your hands, and lots of it. "my hands!" you shouted, tears running down your face. coryo was now standing up.
"we need a doctor! please!" he pleaded. you began to sob as it was the only thing you could think of to do. you watched as coriolanus looked down at your leg. he looked back up almost immediately, which was not a good sign. through thick, hot tears you saw a figure walk into the room with a team of men behind him. you saw as they ushered him out into the hallway. that only made you increasingly nervous.
you panicked as the lights began to fade again.
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you were in a new room now. this one felt more, eerie. your boyfriend was sat beside you, his head in his hands. the only thing you could do was reach your arm out to his. he immediately jolted at your touch.
"coryo what happened?" it was all you could think about.
"um.." he stuttered. his breath was very shaky. "look. you lost-" he paused. "a lot of blood. in your leg. too much." he continued. you immediately got concerned.
"too much? what do you mean too much?" you mind began to race to every possible bad outcome.
"you're in critical condition." he finally blurted out what he had been meaning to say all along. your heart began to beat much faster.
"no. no. no. no. no. no. no-"
"hey, hey hey it's ok-"
"no." you began to cry again. in panem, you didn't know of very many people who made it out of critical condition. "coryo, i-" you paused. you considered lying to yourself. you considered thinking that everything was going to be ok. "i'm scared." you shuddered. instead, you went with the truth. "i-" the words you wanted to say made you want to throw up.
"what? please. tell me." he asked.
"i don't want to die." the phrase broke the wall between tears and sobs. admitting that death was a possibility in this situation made everything worse. no matter what comfort he would attempt to give you.
"you're not going to die. you're not going to die." he repeated. he once again seemed to be finding comfort in his own words.
"how do you know that?" you cried.
"i don't." he admitted. "but i don't want to think of anything like that until it becomes the most likely possibility. if it ever does." you saw a tear roll down his face.
you knew your body. you knew the condition you were in better than any of those doctors. so with a heavy heart, you did anything but ease your boyfriend's mind.
"coryo." there was now multiple tears scattered on his cheeks. "coryo." you picked his head up with your head. "it is the most likely possibility." you could immediately tell that he had already known that. his head fell again and you heard quiet cries. you rolled onto your back, the position you had started in. you looked up at the ceiling.
you had never been fond of death. it had always scared you, since you were a little girl. you had always hated the idea of the hunger games. you had watched one year and never again. mentoring in the hunger games was hard. you hated the games. the deaths were unnecessary. and each time the buzzer ruled them out, you just thought of their family.
and now that was happening to you. you knew that the buzzer would soon rule you out. you didn't know when. you knew how. and you knew that, it was going to be sooner rather than later.
you were terrified.
"i'm scared." you repeated. you tried to move your mind to something else. you found one thing, and it didn't help. "coryo. today's our anniversary." three years. you had almost forgot in the chaos of today. "i'm sorry we couldn't enjoy it." you continued to stare at the ceiling.
"it's not your fault." his voice was stern. "besides. we are spending time together. look at us. like our own private date." his joke somehow made you laugh.
"thank you for being here. i haven't even seen my parents." you admitted.
"they are outside. they just said they couldn't bear to see you like this." you admired coriolanus's bravery. you knew that your leg was not a pretty sight. the huge gash slicing it open. it was at this moment you began to feel lightheaded. you knew the blood loss was getting to you. you knew death was getting to you.
"coryo?" you asked for him. you turned over to face him again. he looked up at you. "can i have a kiss?" now usually he was rough, aggressive with his affections. but at this command, he was soft. he gave you a soft kiss on the lips and nothing more. you appreciated that this may be the last kiss you would share. "coryo?" you called for him again.
"yes?" he answered.
"do you promise you won't forget me when i'm gone?" your voice shook immensely. he didn't even try to counteract your statement. he knew.
"i could never forget you if i tried." you heard his voice quiver. "you're my love. my one and only love. i'll never love again." he declared.
"no, no don't do that. please. enjoy your life, ok? promise me you'll find somebody else to love." you closed your eyes. you couldn't bear the thought. it pained you to say it but it was necessary.
"i'll never love somebody as much as i love you." he grabbed your hand and pressed a kiss to it. a doctor came into the room. one wo had probably been monitoring your vitals from outside. all he did was give coriolanus a nod. you immediately saw tears fall from his face, though no sound was heard.
you focused on your heartbeat. you knew that time was ticking, and the doctor had just silently confirmed it. listening to your heartbeat, you noticed every once in a while, the beats would get farther apart.
"look, i-"
"i know what's happening." you couldn't bare to hear him say it. his tears became more rapid. you had stopped crying, however. you just wanted to be here with him.
"i'm going to stay, ok? i don't care how long it takes. i'm not leaving you." he stated. he tried to be loud even though his tears were silencing his words.
"just hold my hand." it was all you asked of him. "i love you." you said.
"i love you more." he replied, almost immediately. it had been a tradition the two of you had come up with. if one said "i love you," the other had to try to say it back as quick as possible. bonus points if you overlapped. the small gesture made you smile. you finally decided to close your eyes, and relax your body.
you heard the beeping turn into one long sound as you took a deep breath in. the last thing you heard was the boy next to you finally break down in a loud cry.
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ohtobeleah · 11 months
Text
Way Down We Go // Jake Seresin
Summary: Burnout isn't an academic exercise. No. It's an all-consuming, systemic condition. It's your entire body sending you one clear message. Something has to change and it has to change now.
Warnings: Angst. Mental health talks. Jake Seresin x F!reader. Friends to Lovers to ex’s to enemies to friends to lovers trope.
Word Count: 3.5k
Author Note: Based off my own recent experience with Burn Out. Writing this helped me process some of my pent up frustration with accepting the fact I experienced my first real major burn out at 24.
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In 2019, the World Health Organisation officially recognised “Burnout” in its international classification of diseases. Studies show that aviators who report signs of burnout have enlarged amygdalas. The area in the brain that regulates fear and aggression. 
But burnout isn't an academic exercise. No. It's an all-consuming, systemic condition. It's your entire body sending you one clear message. Something has to change and it has to change now. 
Put simply, Burnout comes from a deep imbalance. Too much stress with too few rewards. You're exhausted. Depleted. You no longer have patience, pleasure of serotonin. This is the end unless–
You turn it into something else and find your path to recovery. Pick the pieces you want from your life and find a new way forward. But sometimes it isn't all that simple. Sometimes the all-consuming is just that, it's all-consuming–
And sometimes it's easier to drop the deadweight than to try and carry it on your shoulders.
“Anyone see Rouge today?” It was Hangman's tone that sent a shiver down Roosters spine as he scoffed down the turkey sandwich he had slapped together this morning in the rec room. “We’re on the schedule together after break and I haven't seen her all day?” Rooster knew exactly where you were. At home, probably in bed under a plethora of blankets just trying to catch up on some sleep. 
“I uh–” Rooster was raised by an intelligent and loving woman who had always told him not to talk with his mouth full, but in times like these where every second mattered, that rule seemed more obsolete with every day that passed him by. He did however, make an effort to cover his mouth as he chewed and spoke. “Actually I think I’m with you this afternoon, Mav just hasn't had a chance to change the schedule.” It wasn't technically a lie. 
“Is Rogue not in today?” Jake frowned as he crossed his arms over his chest. “Or is she just avoiding me or something?” You and Jake Seresin had a complicated history. On again and off again romantically, on again off again friends, but these days it seemed to be that the two of you were more off than on. To the point where if you could avoid it, the two of you would ignore each other's existence completely. It was easier that way. 
Which meant Jake didn't know just how bad things had gotten for you. He didn't know you’d decided to take an extended leave of absence from work until you could figure out just what the hell was wrong with you. He didn't know that Rooster had been at your house last night on a welfare check mission. He felt it was his responsibility, after all you were his uncle's daughter. 
“Kerners decided to take some time off work.” Rooster explained the best he could without giving too much detail about your personal problems away. “After yesterday's mishap, she got spooked and asked Simpson for a few days to collect her thoughts.” 
Jake swore his heart left his body when he saw you lose control for those few seconds. All he could do was watch on in pure horror as you tried to regain control of your fighter jet after getting caught in his jet wash. You panicked, something that was completely out of the ordinary for you which led to you losing control of your F-18 for those brief moments in time. 
Jake wanted to talk to you after you landed, but within seconds of touching down you were heading straight for the locker room to grab your things. Unbeknownst to him it was your final straw. He hadn’t seen you since. And now Bradshaw was telling him you weren't in at all and wouldn't be for a while? Things weren’t adding up. Not to Jake. This wasn’t like you at all. 
“What aren't you telling me, Rooster?” Jake pressed as he paced up and down the rec room with his arms folded. He cared about you, he just didn’t know how to convey that care. He’d never not care about you. 
“I’m not not telling you anything.” Bradley replied, he looked like a deer caught in Jake's headlights. “We should get ready for our next hop man.” Bradley tried his best to change the subject, the subject being you and your mental stability. “I’m sure if Rogue has something to say she’ll say it.” He shrugged as he stood, knowing that Jake was probably the last person you would ever want to come clean to about being so vulnerable. “We better get going.”
“You’d tell me if she wasn’t alright, wouldn’t you?” Again, the tone Jake used sent a shiver down Bradley’s spine. He knew how tramaltious your relationship was. “If Kerner wasn’t alright you’d let me know?” Jake didn’t need Bradley to reply, his silence spoke louder than any excuse he could make up on the spot. “Dammit Bradshaw—“ 
“She didn’t want you to know!” 
“Know what!?” Jake hissed. He didn’t raise his voice in fear of bringing any sort of unwanted attention to the situation, but he was worried. Worried about what he didn’t know, worried about you. The best friend he couldn’t talk to. The love of his life he couldn’t admit to. You were the only woman in the world who knew how to take his breath away, in more ways than one. “God Rooster, just tell me what’s going on!” 
“She’s afraid to burn in—“ Bradley sighed as he held the bridge of his nose and hung his head in shame. You trusted him like an older brother and yet here he was, spilling your dirty mental health laundry to the only person you begged him not to tell. Jake Seresin, the love of your life that drove you insane. Your best friend who you couldn’t confide in, the only man who made you want to shoot for the moon and capture all the stars too. “She took an extended leave, told the Admirals they either needed to sign off on the paperwork or they’d be signing her death notice.” It was hard to hear because to Jake this was coming out of nowhere. “She just needs time.” Jake didn’t know how to respond, but most importantly he didn’t know how to react. 
“I don’t have time for all this melodrama, Rooster.” Jake shook his head in disbelief. “If Rogue wants to throw her career away because of a few bad days so be it but I’m not sympathetic.” It was the only response Jake knew how to give, but he was panicking on the inside. “I’ll see you for pre-flight checks.” 
“I think it’s more than just a few bad days, Hangman.” Bradley wasn’t going to say when he saw you last night he hardly recognised you. “She’s hid it well.” In all the time Bradley had known you, he’d never seen you this bad before. It was serious. He’d experienced his own burn out a few years back just after the Uranium mission. Before you joined the Daggers. It had taken its toll on him a hell of a lot more than he was prepared for. “She hid it so well I didn’t even know something was up until she was on the edge already.” 
In that very moment Bradley came to realised why you didn’t want Jake to know you were struggling, you didn’t want him to know that if given the chance you’d quit tomorrow because the burn out you were in was so entirely consuming that it made it hard to even get out of bed. When was the last time you ate? 
“She hid it so well it’s almost hard to believe, don't you think?” Jake snapped over his shoulder as he left the rec room, completely in denial about the fact you didn’t let him in. 
***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***
The entire day had passed you by before you even contemplated the idea of getting out of bed. The idea in and of itself seemed exhausting. Expending any kind energy other than the minimal amount to breath seemed like a chore. 
Your stomach grumbled as you sat up and looked out the window that nestled itself beside your bed—pushed up against the wall just the way you liked it. It was dark, the day had passed and even though you couldn’t be bothered doing anything, the idea you’d wasted a full day in bed made you feel like shit. Plain and simple. You felt like crap and there was no one else to blame for that intense feeling of disappointment than yourself. 
As you climbed over your mess of linen and covers, a not so subtle knock began to echo out through your apartment. 
“Rooster!” You groaned, pressing your forehead into your mattress as you slumped in defeat. “Go away! I told you I’m fine!” You weren’t fine, you just didn’t want anyone worrying about you. You had this under control right? Even if you didn’t know what was happening to you. 
When the knocking persisted you knew you had to let Bradley in, he’d camp out in the hall before he left without seeing you. 
“My god I told you I’m fine!” You groaned as you made your way down the hall. Still in the same clothes you went to bed in yesterday afternoon. “I don’t need you doing welfare checks on me every dam—“ As you opened the door, it took you a second to register that it wasn’t Bradley standing out in the hall. “Jake?” You frowned, suddenly feeling a hell of a lot more vulnerable than you did six minutes ago. “What are you doing here?” 
“Bradshaw said you’re on leave?” Was all Jake said as he stepped into your apartment, it still felt like home despite the fact he hadn’t been over in months since your last bust. “What gives Rogue?” He was still in his flight suit, usually Jake showed before leaving base. But you were the priority right now. He just needed to see you. See for himself what the hell was going on. 
You watched as Jake made his way into your home, into your sacred space without so much as an afterthought that he may be intruding. He never did think his actions through if he wasn’t inside an F-18.
“Is that your way of asking me if I’m alright?” You rolled your eyes as you shut the front door, making a note to lock it behind you in case any other nosie aviators with callsigns that belonged to the flightless bird community came knocking. 
“It’s my way of asking what gives—“ Jake made sure to correct you. “So what gives? It’s not like you to take a break, you’re as good as they come—don’t actually get any better if you want my personal opinion.” It wasn’t a secret that you and Jake rotated as ‘The Best’  like a rositery chicken. He was on top one week and suddenly it was you by just a few points. But the sentiment remained, you were the only one who ever came close to matching Jake Seresin. It was just in your DNA. 
“Yeah I don’t remember asking for it.” You hissed, pushing past Jake as he stood in your hallway like a fungus you needed to get rid of before it had a chance to infect you. “Just because I’m the best doesn’t mean I don’t deserve a break from time to time.” 
As you made your way down the hall toward your bedroom, Jake noticed the way your shoulders slumped just the slightest bit. He noticed the way you looked as if you hadn’t been out of bed all day, the way your hair looked like a bird's nest atop your head. And he wasn’t sure why you were wearing the T-shirt he thought he’d lost three weeks ago but as it turned out you had it all along. 
“Y/n—“ Jake sighed as he watched you disappear into your room without so much as an explanation. “Wait.” 
“I need to shower.” It was the toneless way you explained yourself that sent warning signals off in Jake's mind as he followed you. 
“Hypothetically if I were to ask if you were doing okay would you tell me the truth?” You and Jake hadn’t always been so short with one another, but it was just the way it was now. It was the dynamic you were used to but loathed so much. You just wanted him to love you the way you saw in all the Disney films that were crammed down your throat as a kid. 
But Jake couldn’t. It wasn’t in his DNA. 
“Probably not, but like I told Bradshaw last night, I’m fine, just needed some time off work.” You shrugged as you fished through your dresser for a fresh pair of socks. Jake just stood off to the side, unsure of what to make of the mess that was your room. Usually you made it a note to keep your space clean and tidy. But when Jake looked around all he saw was complete chaos, a quick look into the inside of your mind looked like. 
“Isn’t that what weekends and annual leave is for?” He mumbled just loud enough for you to hear. 
“Couldn’t wait—I’m taking this unpaid and uninterrupted, so if you’ll excuse me, I need to shower.” 
“Don’t lie to me.” It came out more like a plea than a demand but it still didn’t sit right with you. You knew Jake Seresin didn’t care about anyone but himself. You’d known him long enough to know that he was selfishly egomaniacal. He didn’t care, not about you anyway. “Don’t lie to me Kerner—“ 
Jake had stopped you from moving any further towards your ensuite, with a gentle hand wrapped around your forearm. 
“I’m. Fine.” You had grit your teeth together to stop yourself from breaking. The force was enough to make your jaw ache. “Let. Me. Go.” 
“Really?” Jake challenged. “Because I’m standing on a pile of washing that smells like the inside of Fanboys locker.” 
“What has that got to do with anything!” As you ripped your arm out of Jake's grip he was quick to follow you into your bathroom. “I’m behind on laundry, big deal.” 
“It’s a big deal for you!” You could feel yourself crumbling the more Jake pressed you for the truth. “I don’t know what’s going on but—“ 
“Oh what exactly do you want me to say Jake? That I get up and then all day I'm tired, and that I wanna take a nap all day?” Everything you had been trying to hold in and deny was finally bubbling to the surface. “Do you want to hear me say that I have no motivation? That I don't wanna do anything.” 
“Y/n—“ Jake tried to interrupt as you threw your stuff on the bathroom floor in a heap. “It’s—“ There wasn’t a single thing Jake could say that could comfort you once the damn had been broken, you had held it all in for so long. 
“That I don't want to work, I can’t Jake because if I’m not in my own mind than I could kill myself up there or even worse–I could kill one of you!” 
All Jake could do was to stand there and listen as you let him know everything you had been struggling with for the past few months, slowly losing yourself day by day. You didn’t know what was wrong with you, why you felt this way, why all the enjoyment and all of the life had been sucked out of you. 
“I don't want to talk to anyone, especially you!” It was then you shoved at Jake’s chest, completely fed up with your emotional turmoil. He didn’t fight back, no. Jake simply held you close to his chest as he pulled you into a warm embrace that you so desperately needed. “I don't want to hang out with anyone, I don’t wanna watch TV or read a book or even go on my phone but at the same time as all of that I'm so bored! I don't care about anything because all that I care about is just surviving.” 
“You’re burnt out Rogue—“ 
“I’m not!!” Jake swore black and blue that was what you’d been trying to get at. “I can’t be burnt out!” He was even more confused than he was when Rooster had tiptoed around the situation earlier that same day. “My dad burnt out when he was at the height of his career and you know what he did?” Jake knew, he loved your dad like his own. Ron Slider Kerner was one of the best men Jake had ever had the pleasure of knowing. “He became a goddamn airline pilot!” There was anger in your voice, a deep sadness that Jake didn’t understand, what was so wrong with being an airline pilot? 
“Y/n, Y/n—“ Jake held you as tight as he could. He hadn’t held you like this in what felt like forever. “You’re gonna be okay.” Your head dipped just perfectly under his chin as you broke, there was nothing worse than crying into the arms of the man you loved and hated all at once. “I’m here, you’re gonna be fine.” 
“I don’t know what’s wrong with me.” It was the sadness in your cry for help that broke Jake's heart the most, how long had you been dealing with this by yourself?  How long had you been telling the people closest to you that you were fine when you really weren’t. “Why can’t I just—“ You couldn’t breathe. “Why can’t I—“ You couldn’t finish your sentences without nearly gasping for air. “I—I can’t—“ 
“Okay, you’re alright, come with me. Something about Jake Seresin that surprised you the most was the way he dealt with panic attacks. For a guy as level headed as him he sure suffered in silence for the longest time. But you knew—it was one of the reasons you thought Jake couldn’t stand you half the time. 
You knew his biggest weakness. Himself. 
“Sit.” Jake led you over to the side of your bed as he knelt on his knees before you. “Now just breathe with me alright, I’ve got you.” It was the calming tone in his beautiful voice that had you giving yourself entirely to him. You didn’t want to be trapped inside your own head anymore. “There’s nothing wrong with you Rogue, everyone goes through burnout, it’s a part of life.” Jake wasn't diminishing your feelings, but from his own experience he knew that there was a weight on your shoulders you needed to rid yourself of. “And it’s real, and it’s valid and it doesn’t mean you aren’t incredibly good at what you do.” 
“I can’t handle the pressure—“
“No, you put too much pressure on yourself, that’s what you can’t handle.” 
“Oh what do you care Jake!” He’d never seen you like this, so lost and so broken. “Why are you even here right now!” 
“Because I care about you! Why else would I be here, huh?” Jake cupped your cheeks gently as he wiped away the tears that streamed down your supple cheeks. “I care about you and when Bradshaw told me you took a leave of absence I knew something was up. This isn’t you.” It was the truth, it wasn’t you and that’s why it scared you so much. You didn’t feel like yourself. “Baby, this isn’t you.” 
All you did was cry in Jake's slightly rough palms as he kneeled before you and tried to do what he could to just be present. He hated seeing you like this, so out of your mind and dealing with an existential crisis. But Jake knew what it was like to experience burnout. 
“I can’t be burn out—“ 
“Why not?” 
“Because it’s not real?” That was probably the stupidest thing Jake had ever heard you say. “My mum always used to say that being burnt out was just an excuse for not being good enough, it was a cop out.” 
“Something tells me that’s a reason why your parents divorced huh?” You couldn’t hold back the small chuckle that escaped through the sobs. “Y/n, what you're experiencing right now is so real it’s not funny—burnout is real and I reckon once you accept that? It’s going to be easier to overcome than to fight off.” 
“You seem to know an awful lot about this for a guy who’s as confident as ever.” 
“Contrary to popular belief Rogue, I wasn’t born the best.” Jake winked as he leaned in to kiss your forehead. “How about you go have that shower and I’ll order some food and we can talk about it, all of it.” 
“Is this your way of trying to get in my pants?” 
“Mmm—it usually would be, but no, not this time.” Jake admitted as he graciously helped you stand as you sighed out a deep breath. “I’m here to help, can’t leave my wingwoman behind.” 
“I love you Seresin.” You smiled softly as you pressed your lips together in a fine line. It was hard to admit, but you’d never not love Jake. “Thanks for showing up.” Jake mimicked your smile before his lips pressed into a fine line of their own. He nodded softly before you turned on your heels, heading into the bathroom before shutting the door behind you. 
“I love you too.” 
***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~
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inklore · 10 months
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🩸 — 𝐇𝐀𝐔𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐃 𝐇𝐎𝐄𝐃𝐎𝐖𝐍!
since the spooky season is fast approaching, and as a little kinktober appetizer, @psychedelic-ink and i have decided to do a little writing challenge to get us all excited and in the mood to be gripping the sheets from the spooky thrills of course.
and to keep this fun we have given you many many options! we have compiled a twelve day prompts list you can go by, or if that's not your thing we have listed twenty three different pick and choose options to create whatever kind of fic you want, even if you want to do half the days daily prompts but switch out this prompt dialogue for that au or trope or kink, you can literally do whatever your heart desires!
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THE RULES.
the challenge will go on from the 19th - 30th of this month. you can do as many or as little amount of days as you choose.
any fandoms are welcome, literally any characters, ships, but please no rpf.
no minors should be interacting with let alone posting for this challenge.
dark content, light content, dubcon/noncon, is all welcomed but please tag everything accordingly. grooming, underage, and incest however are not allowed.
there are no word limits but please use that readmore.
tag #hauntedhoedown so we can read and reblog your work!
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DAY ONE: taboo au + "i'll be your dirty little secret, if that's what you're into."
DAY TWO: murder plot au (lets kill this person together) + "crawl to me"
DAY THREE: inspired by your favorite lana del rey song (if not a lana fan then any fav song of yours) + stalker / yandere au or love triangle gone wrong
DAY FOUR: artificial intelligence au + "here, you are. you tiny thing."
DAY FIVE: gothic au + “worship me. until i tell you to stop.” + a masquerade au or a good ol' priest au
DAY SIX: animal shapeshifter au + "he's a monster" + "he's perfect"
DAY SEVEN: stranded au or slasher / summer camp au + sex in the woods or somewhere public (added bonus if it includes knife, blood, hunter x prey kink)
DAY EIGHT: cosmic horror au + "you're a fucking nightmare. kiss me."
DAY NINE: “do you like it when i bleed for you?” + the toxic exes trope or cult au
DAY TEN: zombie apocalypse au + "every moment might be our last, let's make the most of it."
DAY ELEVEN: black swan au or inspired by your fav psychological thriller + “they die for love, you kill for it.”
DAY TWELVE: vampire court au + "forever isn't long enough for me to forgive you."
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if following the above isn't your thing and you want to pick and choose yourself that's great! we also highly rec this random generator if you wanna live life by the edge, each category has 23 options to pick and choose from so customize the generator accordingly!
AUs:
steampunk / cyber punk
fairytale retelling
revenge
mythology / monster
virtual reality
gothic
taboo (see great options here)
slasher
game gone wrong
witchcraft
addams family
bonnie and clyde
spy / secret agent
assassins
x-files
circus / carnival
hitch hiking
basement wife
time travel
urban legend(s)
american horror story inspired
vampire / supernatural
pirate / mermaid
DIALOGUE PROMPTS:
"do you like when i touch you like this? i can keep going if you want me to."
"i can see how badly you want this, so i'm going to make sure you get it." 
“this fear you feel? it won't last.”
“you are mine, whether you agree or not.”
“why do you keep following me?”
"i can't stop thinking about how perfect we would be together."
"you're not actually scared are you? of me?"
"i'm so close, can you feel it?"
"tell me what you want me to do and i'll do it, no matter the cost."
"you're like a sickness, a disease, and the only way for me to be cured of you is to let you completely consume me until my body has no fight left."
"i want to see you bleed."
"they're dead...because of you."
“i will keep hurting. i will keep killing. anything to protect you.”
“everything i've done.. every horrible atrocity, it's been for you.”
"it's just a little blood."
“don't you know how sick with love i am for you?”
“i would burn the world for you.”
"this is so fucked up." "you like it."
"finders keepers."
"what's your favorite scary movie?"
"tell me you want me back. tell me i'm forgiven."
"you're a monster." "that's never stopped you before."
"i've killed for you, who else can say that?"
TROPES:
mob / mafia
soft!dark
dubcon / noncon
soulmate / fated mates
mind control / telepathy
cheating
final girl
once is not enough
haunted manor
dark academia
enemies to lovers
haunted object
vengeful ghost
coven
ritual / sacrifice / blood magic
unrequited love
creation / creator vs monster
'i'll find you in every universe / century'
reverse harem
cursed / fuck or die
curiosity killed the cat
theatre phantom
fate worse than death
KINKS:
biting
corruption / authoritarian
somnophilia
begging
dacryphilia
breath play
knife play / blood play
jealousy / sharing / possessive
aphrodisiacs
hunter / prey
humiliation / degradation
mirror sex
deprivation / immobilized / bondage
costume
size
orgasm denial / overstimulation / edging
body worship
shotgunning / swallowing / facial
gagging
torture / surrender
hate sex / make up sex / phone sex
magical healing [redacted]
soft!dom / pleasure!dom
ETC PROMPTS:
a summer fling gone horrible wrong, or right
1970s porno filming (turned into a blood bath)
touch her and die except who the hell are you and why are you obsessed with me?
a trip to the circus (or carnival) ends with you stuck there...forever
you just inherited this creepy mansion where people where murdered what could go wrong?
a ritual gone wrong and now i'm bound to a demon
if 'this person' ever found out about this they would kill both of us (literally)
oh no i'm dating the town serial killer
passionate professor tells me to prove my devotion to the craft / class by doing something insane
we're the last people on the planet and you will be mine
daydreaming about being with you is better than actually being with you because i missed all the red flags and now it's too late
i got casted out of my world and ended up wounded and bloodied in your backyard, convince me why i shouldn't destroy your world out of anger
vampire has a taste for specific blood and looks like you have it
the creepy neighbor is too hot to be insane, right?
i keep seeing them in my dreams and i wake up with bruises and marks on my skin, it's definitely just wild dreams, right?
loving you is easier than hating you
got stranded in some little town that seems so cute, until night hits
'this person' ordered me to kill you but i actually think i'm in love with you
my lover is wearing the same costume as you and i can't tell the difference but i'm pretty sure it's them i'm fucking in this closet...pretty sure
confessing to a murder via a silly little ghost story around a campfire (but someone reads through the lies)
how far would you go for love? for the one you love?
in a past life you were the cause of my death so i'm here to exact revenge now that i've found you
we're at a fun little horror movie reenactment except people are really dying
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we tried to make this writing challenge as fun and very 'choose your own adventure-like' as much as possible because we know how hard it is to stay motivated when doing these things.
so please feel free to use any and all of the prompts, tropes, kinks, etc as you wish. we're just super excited to see what ya'll come up with!!
so good luck and stay slutty spooky <3
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demilypyro · 8 months
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So after playing the game and turning it around in my head for several hours as I went back over all the info I gathered... here's what I personally think happened in Signalis.
This take isn't entirely comprehensive. There's a lot of elements I don't feel I'm smart enough to fully understand, and I acknowledge that the story being open to interpretation is the point. But this is what I took from the game.
During the war on Vineta, two soldiers of the Nation fight together against the Empire. Alina Seo and Lilith Itou. Spending many years together, the two fall in love.
Lilith dies in battle, and the Nation uses a backup of her personality to create the LSTR units. A heartbroken Alina is transferred to the Sierpinski mining facility on Leng.
On Rotfront, a young painter with latent bioresonant abilities named Ariane Yeong wishes to get away from it all. After completing her compulsory military service, she applies to the Penrose Program and spends many years in space, alongside her assigned Replikant unit: LSTR-512. Elster. Spending many years together, the two fall in love.
However, the Penrose Program was a setup. The ship was never intended to complete its mission. The Nation had become aware of Ariane's latent abilities and had assigned her on a doomed mission, shooting her off into space to die on a ship that would eventually break down. On the 3000th cycle of their mission, the pair learned that they had been abandoned. Unwilling or unable to do it herself, Ariane made Elster promise to end their lives rather than suffering. However, Elster couldn't bring herself to do it. As time passed, radiation began to leak from the ship's engines, and Ariane and Elster both developed cancer. Elster died from the illness before she could bring herself to fulfill her promise.
Strangely, Ariane did not die. Possibly by some mutation from the radiation interacting with her bioresonant abilities, she was unable to die. She would survive at least another 2000 cycles after the Penrose was set to run out of supplies, all the while in constant suffering. The ship eventually crashed on Leng. Ariane's uncontrolled, mutated bioresonant abilities came into contact with the various Kolibries inside the Sierpinski facility, and her suffering was shared and amplified exponentially as it spread and repeated itself along the bioresonant hivemind. A psychic feedback loop spread like a disease. All gestalts died. All the replikants who weren't mutated or destabilized were left fighting for their lives, but none could stay unaffected forever.
Meanwhile, an accident had occurred in which all backups of the original mental template of Lilith Itou were lost. As a substitute, the Nation started creating new LSTR units using the latest backup of a decommissioned LSTR unit belonging to the Penrose Program: a copy of the mind of Elster, decommissioned after 3000 cycles. However, having never read the instructions, Ariane had taken zero precautions to avoid destabilization. All new LSTRs put into service after that time were affected. They were prone to hallucinations, had trouble distinguishing the present from the corrupted memories of their lives as Lilith Itou, and were consumed by one thought: fulfilling her promise.
As time passed, dozens of LSTR units came to the Sierpinski facility. Their destabilized minds were unable to distinguish Ariane from Alina, the two loves of their two lives. Every time one of them entered the facility, their destabilization further worsened the cascade of bioresonant mutation affecting the people within, and Falke in particular found herself affected by Elster's memories. Adler tries his best to stop this, by killing any Elsters who appeared, but it was just delaying the inevitable. Ariane's memories and Elster's hallucinations combine with Falke's supernatural abilities, causing the facility to become warped by images and places from Ariane's past, even turning an entire area into a replica of Rotfront and conjuring apparitions of Isa, a long-dead childhood friend of Ariane's. How much was Elster's hallucinations and how much was Falke's reality bending abilities is unclear.
Finally, one of the Elster units successfully makes it through the impossibly warped facility, kills Falke, and fulfills her promise. By ending Ariane's life, the feedback loop of suffering is stopped, and the cycle finally ends.
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banjjakz · 5 months
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you like the arcana..what are your yandere asra thoughts if you have any? (even though he's very much not a toxic or yandere character in-game)
i've been waiting so long to get a free moment to write something for this prompt you have no idea
yandere!asra thoughts
so... in his upright ending, asra comes across as (more or less) wholesome. but we have to keep in mind that he basically nurtured you back to full human-hood after you lost the entirety of your memories... that can definitely do something to a person
his reversed ending is straight up every yancon's fantasy LOL
i mean, running away with you to explore your own magical adventures, in your own little magical world, for the foreseeable future? come on man
therefore, i diagnose asra with latent!yandere disease
symptoms include: masterfully concealed obsession; overprotective instincts; control issues, especially as it concerns your well being and what risks you shall or shall not take; saccharine manipulation; non-insignificant levels of remorse (not high enough to curb any of his behavior); with, naturally, a soft!dom leaning switch tendency
asra's toxicity comes out in his perennial preoccupation with your whereabouts and well-being
apprentice, just let him ward you really quick before you leave to go run a few errands!
apprentice, let him taste all of your food -- anything you consume, really -- before you even take a bite, so that he can ensure there is nothing that will make you sick
apprentice, would you mind telling him who it is, exactly, you're going out with tonight? what's their family name? what do they do for a living? where are they from? are they a magic user? for how long have you known them? he's just curious.
if you refuse to comply with any of his protective measures, asra is absolutely not above tracking your whereabouts and spying on you via a charmed piece of jewelry he gifts to you as an innocent reward for all of your hard work!
at the end of the day, asra is one of the most powerful sorcerers in all of vesuvia. you don't really have a choice in the matter, outside of whether you'll make this easier or harder for yourself.
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ofallthingsnasty · 1 month
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tw: workplace harassment, mental illness, gn reader, make sure to read the last paragraph as well characters: Crocodile, Doflamingo word count: 1k
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While I may be suffering from "I'm a total newbie and scared shitless of my boss" disease + an anxiety disorder, this would be so perfect for either Crocodile and Doflamingo.
Just think about it… You just started working for one of them - and both men certainly demand respect, can be quite scary when provoked, but you think you can weather any storm that might be coming your way. You’re grown, you’ve got bills to pay, they’ve been professional enough so far, it won’t be too bad, right? Oh, stupid, stupid you - because they can smell your little authority figure issues ten miles upwind.
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Both notice that you're green, easily impressed and hurried by their presence, notice how sweaty your hands and furrowed your brow gets - and both definitely corner you; try to get you into a frenzied state, right into panic mode just because it’s fun to see how you slowly fly off the hinges. They both toy with you in their own ways - Crocodile is just always standing behind you, silently watching, only the smell of smoke and his cologne telling you he's right there, looming over your shoulder. He enjoys the way your hands shake with whatever it is you’re doing, how you cough and shift around while he does absolutely nothing. His mere presence makes you so antsy he doesn't even have to say something and his silence is easily interpreted as criticism and mistrust by your anxious little brain. It only gets worse when he never talks about his little staring/surveillance sessions, never explains why he randomly shows up at your desk or workstation, never asks you for a word afterwards - you always feel like you’re not good enough, that no matter how long you’ve been by his side, he needs to check up on you. He’s an imposing man, too - so much bulk and smoke, just the thought of him asking you for a vis-a-vis keeps you up at night. And every day, every week spent fretting over him and his perception of you (coupled with the fact that you really, really need this job) makes you more and more insecure, makes it hard to unwind after yet another long day, makes you overanalyze every single glance, every word and move of his. He slowly creeps into your after-hours, your conversations with friends, your weekends, even your vacations.  And he can tell. Crocodile notices the slight, subtle changes. The way you smooth over your clothes before talking to him, how you place an index and middle finger over sternum as if to shield yourself from him, the fucking cold sweat shining on your forehead whenever he does question a decision of yours with a gruff bark. The way you avoid his eyes, stumble over your own feet in a hurry, the way he can see that you sleep worse and worse - that’s how he knows he's got you hooked, fully and wholly. That all you're thinking about is him and work and pleasing him and being good at work and again, him and work and him and- Your job is the only thing in your life now, from the moment you wake up to the time you lay your head down to sleep, everything is consumed by thoughts of him and his opinions about you and your abilities, always aiming to please and so, so nervous to fail. It’s perfect.
Doflamingo is way more vocal about it. He'll throw your work right back into your face, all sneers and acid tongue. It’s just not enough, never enough, reflects badly on him, on his company - whatever it is you do, it hails nothing but criticism and mockery and late nights to fix your stupid mistakes. He doesn’t even give you moments of rest, he just constantly picks on you until you’re seriously considering just resigning for your own mental health. He’s methodically destroying your self-esteem, makes you doubt your own abilities - you know you shouldn’t let him creep into your head as much as he does, but when all you hear is that you’re so fucking bad at your job, how much you suck - it sticks. You’re so stressed because of him you almost have a panic attack over putting your two weeks in and despite your suffering, you keep procrastinating, keep telling yourself you’ll do it tomorrow, when you have had a full night’s sleep. Problem is - you never do. He can tell by the way you’re idling, fiddling with the straps of your bag whenever he comes in for the day that you’re trying to leave - but that you're simply too scared of his reaction to pull the trigger. And that right there; that fear, that pedestal you put him on is the perfect breeding ground for all sorts of unethical things he can push you to do for him. He starts out small; things like getting him coffee in the mornings when you never did that before, a too-warm, lingering hand on your shoulder, a comment about your outfit - every little thing is calculated, tailored to slowly destroy your boundaries while you fear him more and more, give him way more authority over your life than you should. He knows it’s psychological, that someone else might be able to flip him off and leave without ever thinking twice about him. But you… You have accepted him as the one part of your life everything hinges on - you give him all that power in your sick little brain. Oh, he’ll use it well. The fun has only just started, rest assured. 
And while Crocodile gets to click his tongue, scoff and tell you that he'll take over from now on because clearly - you're just not capable and you obviously need him (not only at work but also in your whole life, silly), Doflamingo taunts you and tells you to make yourself useful, then, if you can't even do your job right. Maybe sucking his dick is your true calling - come on, let's see if you can do at least one thing right. One man wants to take your life over completely, sees you as the malleable (perfect) mess that you are, with all the potential that comes with it - and the other just wants to fuck you up for the next decade of your life, wants to be reason you wake up in the middle of night because his vicious smile still bounces around in that head of yours
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srbachchan · 3 months
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DAY 5874
Jalsa, Mumbai Mar 18/19, 2024 Mon/Tue 10:37 AM
Birthday - EF - Syed Kabeeruddin Tuesday, 19 March .. and our wishes for this day for your day .. love from all the Ef 🌹❤️🙏 🚩
We are all in the grip of technology and the speed with which it changes and changes our life and indeed the life of the Universe ..
By the time we realise that a finality has been reached , another system takes over rendering the finality to a disposition that gives it a 'been there , has been' temperament ..
Not just in the world of technology , but also in the thinking of all , in every aspect ..
The belief and the sense of reality .. of fact and misadventures in the factual world have quite selectively given us all reason to think or express at every fact , whether it is indeed a fact or not ..
The question mark, the doubt, the knowing that there is an alternative invades us all , and we surrender in servile disposition to its reality ..
Well , enough of the philosophy on the budding reality of alternatives and fact and on to another query ..
COFFEE ..
For the past year or so , thanks to some inputs from the younger generation colleague, the consumption of coffee suddenly became prevailent in my routine .. a drink like tea and beverages I had not consumed for years ..
Yes it did give certain reactions and changes but I needed to know factually and googelly if what the net was netting to .. so researched and came to a netted observation :
Coffee, a beloved beverage, offers several benefits. Its caffeine content enhances alertness and concentration, aiding productivity. Studies suggest coffee may reduce the risk of certain diseases like Parkinson's and Alzheimer's. Additionally, it contains antioxidants, potentially lowering the risk of cancer and promoting heart health. However, excessive consumption can lead to negative effects. Insomnia and increased heart rate are common, while anxiety and digestive issues may arise in some individuals. Dependency can develop, leading to withdrawal symptoms like headaches. Moreover, excessive caffeine intake may exacerbate existing health conditions like hypertension. Moderation is key to enjoying coffee's benefits while minimizing its drawbacks.
So having consumed it for some time and in a confused state , recently have abstained for about 2 weeks from all - the coffee and the aerated beverages .. and wanted some clarification ..
So .. somewhat relieved , somewhat confused , somewhat - some and what !!!
Love and see ya .. 😁
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Amitabh Bachchan
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