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cordeliawhohung · 4 months

Note

You created a monster in me with underboss!Simon and now you must take responsibility.

Please feed my new addiction with relationship headcanons 😩😩😩. I love him and Shy!reader.

i've created so many monsters y'all gotta stop biting at my ankles or at least start paying rent or smth <3 also i'm still trying to work out a lot of the dynamics of the relationship between them so this is still a little bare boned but i hope you enjoy!

mafia!141 masterlist <3

warnings: mostly fluff :3 simon is a bit of a prick lol, fem!reader,

just in case anyone missed it, this is how underboss!Simon and shy!Reader meet <3

it takes a brutally long time for the two of you to start dating. a brutally long time.

and it isn't for lack of trying on Simon's end. he manages to get your number somehow (i hear Soap is very tech savvy...) and asks you out the week after the dinner at John's house, only for you to decline.

which is fine. he can take rejection. but this is... different. you're too kind when you say no. you're not saying it because you think you're too good for him, you're saying it because of something else, and Simon can tell the difference but can't exactly tell what it is.

it drives him nuts for a long time. you were supposed to be just another number in his phone for a booty call. he's used to getting pretty much anything he wants, after all, but even then it shouldn't have bugged him as much as it did. maybe it was because he liked the way you looked at him. not with disgust. not with some lustful intention. you were... soft. kind, even.

as for you? you think it's crazy how this 6'4", ripped, and kind guy showed interest in you. you, someone too anxious for her own good, someone who said no because it was less scary than committing to something. and you hate yourself for rejecting him.

so in an effort to stay close to him, you text him pretty often. you send him pictures of things you see or run into during your day. something funny at work, a cool rock you found in someone's garden, the spider that decided to make its home in your shower. and sweetheart, you have no idea what you're doing to the poor man ):

this goes on for a long while. just simon being a stupid man, not wanting to push your boundaries after you already rejected him, and you being too anxious to fix things and ask him yourself.

eventually, by some miracle (that i might write more about later because like i said BARE BONES) the two of you get together. and it's... interesting. simon isn't really used to dating. like properly. he's used to buttering a girl up, going back to her place for a quick fuck, and then only seeing her whenever either of them are too bored and horny to function. but with you it's nothing like that at all. there's no sex on the first date, not even a damn kiss, and he finds himself craving you more than ever because of it. wanting to be around you all the time, wanting to hear about your day.

man is fucking obsessed.

he treats you like a princess. he only ever really spent his money on stupid shit but now he can spend it on you! you never ask for anything, but god forbid if you express that anything, be it clothes or otherwise, looks cute because he will buy it for you, no matter how awkward you are at receiving gifts.

also! because he's so big and somewhat brutish, no one fucks with you when you're in public together. annoying kiosk clerks trying to aggressively sell you something? one look from him and they're gone. someone messed up your order but you're too anxious to ask them to fix it? he's advocating for you.

because of him, you find yourself growing less afraid and anxious of things. he teaches you how to be brave, and you teach him how to be soft. there's nothing in the world that he wouldn't do for you <3

oh also btw he's in the mafia. he might have forgotten to mention that... hope that doesn't freak you out or anything. don't worry about the blood on his shirt or the bruises on his face or the cuts on his arms or... oh god you look like you're going to cry. it's nothing, sweetheart! promise! stop trying to take him to the hospital!

also, some sorta unrelated comments: i think shy!reader is def a hostess at a restaurant. i feel like simon would hang out at the restaurant too just to be around you. he'd also slip you a tip, even though you tell him you make hourly and don't depend on tips.

"consider it my way of saying thanks for sitting us at the table with the best view."

the view is you, btw.

AHHH i'm sorry this was such a mess? i have so many jumbled thoughts but i'm glad i was able to get some of them out and i hope they were somewhat enjoyable al;kdjf i'll be working on a short drabble/oneshot for him over the weekend, so i'm hoping that'll make up for this <3

#mafia!simon #mafia!141 #simon riley x reader #simon ghost x reader #ghost x reader

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spookysteddie · 4 months

Text

Always Comin’ Home to You

Gator Tillman x fem!reader

18+ MINOR DNI

dec: after a fight with his step-mother Gator comes home late, scaring you. His bruises tell you of the day he had and all he wants is to feel you.

cw: Swearing, abandonment, mental / physical abuse (Roy to Gator), domestic abuse (Roy to Karen), bruises, mention of death, implication of anxiety, murder, toxic religion themes, gator calls his step-mom a cunt, crying, fingering, daddy kink, dd/lg themes if you squint, Gator calls himself her God (what's the name for that?), unprotected penetrative sex, cream pie, promises. (let me know if I missed anything)

wc: 3.7k

a/n: I need Gator Tillman like I need to fucking breathe. This man is WOW. I just want to pet him and tell him he is, in fact, a winner and then suck him off. Anyway, I hope y'all like this heheh

...

Gator Tillman didn’t have a lot of good things in his life.

Between his mother leaving, his father being as asshole and everything in between, Gator was a little fucked up and very morally gray. Doing his daddy's dirty work in the hopes Roy will finally be proud of him.

Now, there was one good thing (or person) in his life, one human who brought out the best in him. One person who saw him for the person he was deep inside. The one who saw him as a winner.

You.

You were everything Gator could ever dream of, his perfect girl.

“Gator? Baby have you seen my sunglasses?” You pull some clothes out of the hamper, double (triple) checking that they weren’t in there. “Do you have them? Are they in your cruiser?!”

You hear Gators heavy footsteps before he leans against the doorframe, arms crossed, “have ya checked on top of ya head?” You can hear the smugness in his voice and instantly you want to punch him.

You were an angel and subsequently the sweetest girl. Shit, you make Gator catch and release the spiders you find in the house because you ‘want someone to grant you the same kindness in life’. Whatever that means. But of course he does it, because the last thing he wants is to make you cry.

Well, that’s not true. He loves making you cry while your wrapped around his cock, fucking you so deep and hard that you can’t form a complete thought. Only then does he enjoy the tears streaming down your face.

But at the same time, you had a wicked attitude. One he liked to fuck outta you at every opportunity. And when you look up at him he knows it’s coming.

“Do they look like they’re on my fuckin’ head, Gator? Jesus Christ.” But he doesn't fail to notice you subtly check in the mirror to make sure they aren’t actually on your head. They aren’t, for the record.

Gator is not like his daddy. Does he have his fathers attitude? Absolutely. But he has never raised his hand to you outside of the bedroom, much to his fathers dislike. Claiming he’s watched his father beat on his step-mother and even though he hates her – only because she gave birth to his twin sisters, giving his father two more chances to fuck their futures up – he doesn’t think it’s right.

He balls his fists, nails digging into the center of his hand. He has too much shit to do today and, frankly, doesn’t have time for this shit. “Watch ya mouth bunny. Lucky my dad aint home to hear you take Christs name in vain.”

Gator is right. His daddy already doesn't like you, doesn’t think you’re Godly enough. He also seems to think you’re an idiot simply because Gator does everything for you, even down to tying your shoes. It’s something Gator likes doing, taking care of you as it helps ease his mind.

But at the same time Roy wonders how his son could catch and keep a girl like you. It’s emotional whiplash most of the time. Of course, Gator takes the brunt of his daddy's issues when it comes to you, never letting his daddy so much as look wrong in your direction.

You sigh, running your hands down your pink skirt, “look, can you please help me find them? You know my eyes don’t do well with the sun bouncing off the snow.”

His eyes soften, loving when you need his help, “I’m willin’ to bet they’re in the cruiser on the floor boards.”

Your face heats as you remember exactly why they’d be on the floor of the cruiser, your escapades from your little meeting at the police station last night. There was always that preliminary fuck before going back to Roys (cause God forbid Gator ever come stay at your place. His daddy needs him nice and close.) considering you don’t know how to keep your moans quiet. So, he tires you out, not so much that you can’t drive back to his place, but just enough to where you’re silent during round two and three and four.

The cold nips at your bare legs, winter just as brutal as every other year in this godforsaken state. You swear it never gets easier, winter, and the older you get the more you think about moving south. You think Gator would like the warmer weather, probably find the warmth soothing.

“Ah ha! Got ‘em!” Gator hands them to you with a huge smile on his face. He looks almost boy-like. It’s rare he has a genuine smile, especially when his daddy is around.

“Gator,” his step-mothers voice rings out from the porch, making you both jump. He doesn’t turn around, doesn’t give her the satisfaction of seeing his frustration. “Stop yellin’ cause your sisters are sleepin’!”

“Karen, they’re at the other end of this fuckin house and your scratchy ass voice is louder than me.”

You can see her huff, “I should call your father!”

He sighs, turning on his heel, “I don’t think that’ll be a good idea. Dad’s… a little busy today.” Gator knows exactly what his daddy is busy with, not that he’d ever tell you. Terrified that he would somehow put you in danger.

You know that there was shit his daddy made him do. Things that forced him to come home with black eyes, bloody lips and bruises on his knuckles and body. It hurt your heart every time he came home like that, telling you it was nothing while he winces as he takes off his clothes.

Karen seethes from the porch and you see her look from Gator to you and back. Gator, who notices everything, sees it and steps in front of you, pushing you behind him. “Don’t look at her like that, Karen.”

That seems to annoy her more, “she better not be here tonight. You hear me? Don’t need your sisters hearin the stuff you two get up to at night.”

“Not any worse than dads hands hittin’ your face while they sit at the kitchen table.” You cringe at his statement, seeing Roy hit Karen more times than you can count. “You don’t run this house. Or tell me what to do.” He spits on the ground and turns away, waiting till he hears the door slam to speak.

“I fuckin hate her. She’s sucha little bitch.”

You wrap your arms around his middle, breathing him in. “Can stay at mine tonight if you want. Don’t wanna get you in trouble,” you murmur into his shirt. “O-or we can spend a night apart. I know we haven’t done that inna while but just till this blows over an’ we know she didn’t say nothin’ to your father.”

You know you're rambling, but all you want is to make Gators life comfortable and safe. You know there is a small chance that Karen will call Roy, tell him what happened, maybe even lie (she’s done that before) and say you upset her. If that happens, Gator will get it good, possibly another broken arm or dislocated jaw. That’s the last thing you want. You can feel you chest ache, eyes burning at the idea of Roy hurtin’ him.

Gator pulls your face back from his chest, making you look up at him, “don’t you be worryin’ bout me now. Roy ain’t gonna do shit and I don’t sleep when you aren’t curled up next to me,” he kisses your forehead. “I’ll put some feelers out to see if that little bitch called him. Gotta meeting at 3 with him.”

You nod, your hand coming up to fix his jacket. In reality, you just need something to distract from the burning behind your eyes.

“Hey? I’m serious. I’ll be fine, okay?” He lets you go to reach into his pocket, pulling out some cash and handing it to you, “why don’t you go get your nails done or something, yeah?”

You know refusing to take the money wont go well, so you take it, putting it in the pocket of your jacket. “Thank you, daddy,” you whisper out, knowing you aren’t really supposed to say that outside of Gators locked bedroom door.

He lets it slide, the day has been stressful enough for you. “That’s my good bunny. Now, run along and I’ll meet you here at six okay?”

You tilt your head, “no station tonight?”

“Nah… Jerry is working and he’s got a starin’ problem when it comes to ya. Don’t feel like scoopin’ eyeballs out. Too messy.”

You shudder but kiss him goodbye before getting in your car. You have a very bad feeling his 3pm meeting isn’t going to go how he expects.

…

You were right.

You knew you were right the second you pulled up to his house at six on the dot and he wasn’t home. You reach for your phone, looking to see if maybe you’d missed a text, phone call, shit even an email from your boyfriend.

Nothing.

Even when you try to call him, you're met with a voicemail. You can feel the bile rise in the back of your throat, fear making your skin itch. Was this it? Was this the time Roy sends him out there to do his dirty work and he doesn’t make it home?

He could be anywhere right now. Not only that, if he was dead, no one would do shit for him. No funeral, no service, nothing. His dad would go on and wipe his hands clean of his “loser” son, probably more than happy that the ties of his first wife are gone for good.

Oh God, what if he was dying, the cold freezing the blood onto his skin, frostbite settling in. He could be so scared, praying to the God he doesn’t believe in that you come find him. His clothes are probably wet too, sticking to him thanks to the sn-

A knock on your window makes you jump, a yelp falling from your lips. You look over, seeing the blue of his jacket in your peripheral and the sight makes you gasp. You’re quick to shut off the car, jumping out and getting a closer look at him.

He looks… awful. His right eye is nearly swollen shut, dry blood sticking to his split brow. There is a bruise on the other side of his face and under his left eyes, clearly he got hit in the nose.

“Baby…” this time you can't stop the tears from falling. “Baby what happened?”

He lets out a long, deep sigh, his hands resting on your cheeks. “Fuckin’ cunt called dad. Said I needed a lesson in respect. S’how I got the bruise on my left eye.” He wipes the tear that falls from your eye, his touch soft and kind, “sent me to do some shit across state lines. Guy beat the fuck outta me. He ain’t alive no more though.”

You sniffle, “is it just your face?”

He shakes his head but doesn’t say more. He knows you’ll see the rest once he gets you inside. Well … “we-I can’t let you sleep here tonight, Gator.”

He shakes his head, “it’s fine. Dad said so himself. Come on.”

And so he drags you inside, Karen looking like the cat that caught the canary as she watches you help Gator walk. You make a mental note to never forget this, never forget how she treats her step-son.

You push open Gators bedroom door, making sure to shut it silently and lock it before settling Gator on the bed. “Let’s get ya into some comfy clothes, yeah?”

You crouch down in front of him, making quick work of untying his boots.

“Baby, I can do this. I’m the one who's supposed to help you.”

That only makes more tears burn your eyes. You hated that he never let anyone help him, hated that he always had to be strong, couldn’t ever cry, nothing. You hated Roy for making him like this and you hated his mother for leaving and not saving her only son from a life of pain.

“Stop. Just-just let me help you, Gator please.” You pull at the laces to loosen them and make it easier to slide off his boot, your vision blurry from the tears in your eyes.

His boot comes off easy and you make sure you keep your hold on it so it doesn’t make any noise on the floor. Same with the second one.

You stand, unclipping his thigh holster and setting it on the nightstand where he likes it. Incase of emergencies. Next is his belt, coming off with ease. He stops you when you get to his pants, making you look up at him. He hates the silver shining along your waterline.

“I love you, little bunny.” He says it so quietly that you almost miss it.

“I love you too.” Your voice cracks as you say.

You work on his pants, popping open the buttons with ease. Next you pull his shirt out of his pants and pull it over his head. By the time his shirt hits the floor, you’ve gotten a full look at his bare torso. A bruise is forming along his ribs, it’s really red and slightly turning purple.

“Jeez baby,” your hands gently touch his skin and he hisses a little. “S-sorry.”

He says nothing as he helps you pull off his pants, leaving him in just his boxers.

“Stay here,” you tell him as you collect his dirty clothes and go into his attached bathroom. You sigh as you grab a face cloth, turning the water on so it heats up. It, of course, takes forever for the water to warm. Nothing like shit water heating thanks to the frigid winter. But once it does you wet the cloth and grab the first aid kit and go back to him.

You’ve done this before, cleaned him up, you’ve even stitched him up. You’d like to thank the internet for telling you how to do that and you’ve gotten good over the last two years.

“S’is gonna hurt. Luckily it looks like you don’t need stitches. Just don’t move while I work okay?”

He nods, “yes, baby. Ya don’t have to do this. I know you don’t like blood.” This was true, you didn’t like blood at all, barely even being able to handle papercuts. But for some reason, when it comes to him, you can manage to push it aside. Cuts can get infected and when they’re on his face it means it could go to the brain faster.

You carefully dab the wet rag around his split eyebrow, gently clearing off the blood and making sure that you don’t resplit the cut open. “I think it split from the swellin’ but I don’t think it needs stitches.”

He nods slightly, “good. I was hoping it’d close on its own.”

You put some wound cleaner on it before you bandage it. He might have a scar there unless he leaves it alone. But knowing Gator, it’ll open again. You clean up around his face and causing a hiss to leave his lips once you touch his cheek and eye. You apologize, applying some cream that makes bruises heal faster to his face and ribs.

“That’s everything.” You force a small smile at him, tossing the wet cloth into the hamper and putting the first aid kit away. You get undressed, needing skin to skin contact. Then, you climb into bed, snuggling up to him, resting your head on the safe side of his chest.

The silence stretches, Gators arm around your shoulders, his thumb moving softly.

“I thought you were dead in the snow,” the words tumble out of you before you can stop them.

He thumb stills for a heartbeat before resuming, “but m’not.”

“I’m sorry this is the life you were forced into. It is not fair.”

He kisses your head, breathing you in for a moment, “it’s not your fault, bunny. You didn’t do any of this. Shoulda kept my mouth shut when it came to Karen. Just… smile an’ wave.”

You shake your head, kissing his chest, “not how it’s supposed to be.”

Gator rolls over you, forcing you on your back. He bites back a pained groan. “My sweet bunny, listen to me. I am here. I am safe. S’gonna take a lot more to kill me.” He leans down, capturing your lips in a sweet kiss.

You let your hands slide into his hair, deepening the kiss. Honestly, you just need to feel him. He knows it and if he’s being honest, he needs to feel you too. He’ll never say it out loud, but as he laid in the snow, doing his best to get the fucker he was sent to kill off of him, he was scared.

Scared he would die and you’d spend the rest of you life wondering. He knew no one would fill you in and he knew his daddy wouldn’t have a service for him. You’d be alone, wondering what happened to him, praying to the god you don’t believe in that he’d come home again. So, he fought like hell and now, he really needs you. Needs to be inside you.

You pull back, breaking the kiss, “Gator, we can’t.”

“We can. Please baby.” Gator doesn’t beg, he didn’t need to when it came to you. Always more than willing to do what he says and give him what he wants. His begging makes you give in.

His hands push your underwear aside, feeling how ready you already are for him. Always ready, always wanting and only for him.

You pull him in for a kiss while his fingers find your clit with ease, swallowing your moans. He always knows exactly how you like it, fingers moving in swift circles and just the right amount of pressure.

“So fucking pretty when you’re at my mercy,” he pushes two fingers inside you, the stretch making your brain go fuzzy. “Looked so fucking pretty in your little skirt and frilly socks. My little angel.”

The way Gator is cooing at you, his fingers crooked up to touch the one spot that drives you nuts and you can feel yourself slipping into that headspace you both love. You’re trying so hard to be logical, knowing he’s hurt and can hurt himself further.

“Thank you, daddy. Bought it because I thought you’d like it.” Your voice is getting small, breathy.

He grins, kissing down your neck, “I love it. Love everything you wear. Look so pretty in your pastels.” His thumb finds your clit, a soft moan falling from your lips. It’s embarrasing how quickly you are to coming around his fingers.

“P-please. Gator please.”

He smirks, “use your words, sweet girl. Tell me what you want.”

You can feel your body heat up from both the coil inside you winding tighter and the embarrassment of having to say what you want. “I-I need to cum. So bad.”

The second the words are in the air, Gator pulls his hands away, leaving your orgasm to fade away. “NO! No, no, no, no please!”

He sucks a mark into your neck, his tongue licking over the spot to sooth it.

“Need ya to cum on my cock, baby.”

Before your brain can catch up, he’s sliding inside you. The stretch is something you haven't gotten used to in the last two years. It feels like he's splitting you in half, his cock filling you completely.

“OH! Oh my god.” You're already panting, squeezing him so hard he’s fighting to not bust prematurely.

Gator drops to his forearms and pumps his hips, getting right in your face. He’s so close you can smell the fruity scent from the vape he was no doubt huffing on before coming to see you.

“S’right baby, I am your God and I love when ya pray to me.”

You can’t help the way your cunt clenches, a moan falling from your lips that is just slightly too loud for either of your comforts. At the moment, you don’t care. You know Roy already got his fill of kicking Gatos' ass. He’s not going to worry about it tonight.

“Daddy, please. I’m so close.”

His hips are snapping hard, cock hitting your cervix with every thrust. He feels like he’s inside your throat and you can’t tell if his grunts are from pain, pleasure, or both.

“Not yet. Almost there. D-don’t cum yet.”

Your nails sink into his biceps, hips starting to stutter.

“Please! Fuck! Oh god…”

He smirks, eyes meeting yours, “yeah? I know how bad ya need it. How bad ya need me to fill this pretty, little cunt up. Breed an own ya f��ever? Hm?” His eyes are black and he looks absolutely feral. Primal.

His hand snakes down the front of your body, finding your clit with ease. You gasp, thighs starting to shake. You knew you weren’t going to last but you needed his permission. You craved his praise and being in his good graces. You’d let him do anything to you, that’s how much you trust him.

“Yes! Yes! Whatever you want. Anything.” You don’t even know what you’re saying at this point, too cock drunk to think of anything besides him and what he’s doing to you.

He laughs, seeing your eyes glazed over and tears of pleasure lining your eyes, “cum for me bunny. Do it.”

It’s all you need to fall into bliss.

His hand covers your mouth knowing how loud you’re about to be. His face drops into your neck as he cums with you, both of your moans muffled by each other's bodies. His cum fills you, leaking out as he brings you both down.

His hand slowly leaves your mouth, head lifting to look at you.

“I love you. I fuckin’ love you so fuckin’ much.” He leaves little kisses all over your face, trying to bring you back to him. “You hear me? M’never leavin’ you.”

You take a shuddering inhale, trying to form a coherent thought, “P-promise?”

You hold your pinky up to him, hands shaking while adrenalin continues to run through your veins. He giggles, hooking his pinky with yours, “promise. I’ll always come home to you. I will always fall asleep next to you.”

He looks down, flipping your hand over and checking out your nails, “I can’t wait for these pretty, red claws to be wrapped around my cock.”

Your chest lightens as you both laugh together.

#gator tillman fargo #Gator Tillman #fargo season 5 #fargo fanfic #Gator Tillman x reader #gator tillman x fem!reader #gator tillman smut #gator tillman fic #gator tillman imagine #gator tillman x y/n #joe keery #joe keery fargo

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tainted-liquor · 7 months

Text

'Miles & Milo...⊹˚. ♡ bulleted hcs for the twins

Now we all know these two are like brothers. And as much as y'all hate to hear it, these two don't get along LMFAO

Milo Morales, the older twin by exactly 4 minutes. There's never a day that goes by without him reminding Miles he's the older twin.

Milo Morales is soooo fucking sassy like its unreal !! He can, and WILL call you a bum with no care for how you feel. ↳ "Okay? When did I fuckin' ask you, bum."/ "Couldn't be me tho..."

Milo 'I ain't doing shit' Morales. If he doesn't want to, he won't. Simple as that. This has led to unfathomable amounts of fights with his brother over the pettiest shit ever. ↳"I'm not coverin' for you again. te dije la última vez...que no tiene nada que ver conmigo."

Milo Morales who will randomly bop his twin on the head with a random object. He picked up the habit as a baby and It NEVER left

Milo Morales who borderlines mean/cocky. This mf never has an off button and can dish out a read like no other

Milo Morales is more of a non-clingy/show rather than tell person. He'll never say it, but you'll know.

Milo Morales who absolutely stabs Miles' hair with a pick. He lifts him up by his 'nappy ass nigga naps' at random moments. (he thinks its funny)

Milo Morales will purposefully speak Spanish around Miles, just because he doesn't understand.

As much as he hides it, Milo Morales loves his brother. Yeah, they fight like they don't got no home training, but that's his favorite person!

Miles Morales, who absolutely despises his twin brother.

Whenever Mama Rio isn't around and has to braid his brothers hair, Miles Morales makes sure to be extra rough just because it annoys Milo.

Miles Morales who pops his brother with the comb for no reason, even when Milo isn't moving. ↳ "Sorry. Yo head just big" "NIGGA THAT WAS MY SHOULDER."

Miles Morales, who spent 3 days making a near damn 30 minute handshake with Milo.

Miles Morales who threatens to snitch on his brother anytime Milo refuses to cover for him as Spider-Man, which always ends in a fight.

Miles Morales who gets bullied by Milo for not understanding Spanish

Miles Morales who is more of a 'she tells me to shut up and I do' kind of person. Definetly not as sassy as his counterpart. ↳ "Yes ma'am."/"My bad."

Miles Morales can, and WILL pull on Milo's braids to beat him in a race.

But if it came down to it all? Miles won't ever hesitate to put his beef aside to help Milo demolish some shit. Together !

Them two are just like Phineas and Ferb. They wanna make a flying car? They'll make a flying car.

@ashsostrange @chessbox @janaeby @faeriesoiree333 @fivestardior @an1bara @bachirasegoistgoist @milesnanana77 @niaurluv @sp1derw1ree @ban-al3xx @moonpiiess @we-loveebony @kae2kaee

#across the spiderverse #atsv #into the spiderverse #miles morales #miles morales x reader #earth 42 miles x reader #earth 42 miles #earth 1610 miles morales x reader #e1610 miles x blackfem!reader #e1610 miles #e42 miles x black!reader #e42 miles

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octopiys · 2 months

Note

Hi dear! I’m not sure if you still take quotes but I have one if you do.

“Maybe it’s an illegal Immigrate spider”

Incorrect Quotes as CoD characters

It's been a while ain't it

Soap: imagine Ghost just went up to Colonel König, y'know, cus they've never interacted before, and just says "I'm sexually attracted to you, and want to wear your skin"

Soap: how-

Soap: how do you think he'd respond?

Price:

The rest of the goddamn world:

Gaz: what the fuck goes on inside your head

Rodolfo: the bank man wasn't doing his job today, and now I'm behind in paperwork

Valeria: I have a solution

Rodolfo: please don't kill him

Valeria: I no longer have a solution

Soap: you know how in despicable me, Gru steals the moon?

Gaz, dreading the answer: yeah?

Soap, staring dead at Ghost: I'm gonna steal his straightness

Gaz:

Gaz: why

Price: oh look over there

Price: yep there it goes

Price: my final fuck to give

Price:

Price: farewell, fuck

Roach: how do you keep ending up in these situations?

Gaz, standing on a chair: because I don't like them, okay?

Roach: buddy you're it's roommate now

Gaz: nuh uh, spiders don't have roommates

Roach: where do you think it came from?

Gaz: I don't know

Gaz: maybe it's an illegal immigrant spider, trying to hide here for safety

Roach: and you want me to-?

Gaz: squish it. No safety here.

Soap: none of yall were dancing as hard as me, Alejandro, Rodolfo, and.... and König

Shepherd: and what do we say when life disappoints us?

Roach: called it!

Shepherd, shooting him: no.

Roach:

Roach: ...called it..-

Ghost: We need more help. Maybe I should call my friends.

Price: ... Your what?

Ghost: My friends.

Soap: is he saying “friends”?

Gaz: I think he's being sarcastic.

Alejandro: No, no, no, this is delirium, he's cracked from being awake all night. Hey, Ghost! All of your friends are in this room.

Alejandro: let's play rock paper scissors. You go first.

Graves: rock

Alejandro: paper

Ghost: Do you even know what an amulet is?

Alejandro: Of course I do! I eat amulets sometimes. I like the ones with cheese and onions!

Ghost: Alejandro, those are omelettes.

Alejandro: Oh. Then I’ve got nothing.

Rodolfo: I'm gonna kill you

Graves: get in line!

Ghost: Pros and cons of dating me.

Ghost: Pros. You'll be the cute one.

Ghost: Cons. Holy shit, where do I begin-

Alejandro: Goodnight to the love of my life, Rodolfo, and fuck the rest of y'all.

Soap: Being gay is a constant battle between "I wish to sit on a window bench with my lover, our legs tangling as we listen to the birds" and "Hey, let's go throw rocks at fascists" and I think that's very sexy of us.

Horangi: If the window's open and you time it right, you can do both.

Graves: Oh no! I’m doomed!

Laswell: Seriously? All you have to do is not insult Soap at his own memorial service.

Graves: Exactly! It’s impossible!

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the-cat-and-the-birdie · 5 months

Text

*steps on stage nervously*

Uhh.. umm. Uhhhhh

Spidey Academy AU!!

Like Xavier's School for Gifted Children, Miguel - a Spider-person fond of kids, opened a Spidey-Science Academy, for the Spidey-people of the universe

It's not like a high school. There's five years and the years are not really sorted by age - but by experience.

So Hobie would be a year 3 - a middleclass-man

Pavitr is a year 1 - a freshman

And the classes, are all based on honing your Spider-powers and senses.

There's assignments, things you have to take home and do.

They're give you a fake evil Doc Ock chip and have you decode it and make it good again (like Peter in No Way Home).

Or they ask you to stop a petty robbery without using your webs. You have to bring in the Daily Bugles article on you the next day and they grade you on that.

(Hey say what you want but Jonah reports the facts he just talks a lot of shit)

Any class a Spider-person needs, they have.

You name it-

Home Ec? No. Sewing and Suit Repair Class

Gym? No. Swinging & Strength Endurance

Science? ALL ADVANCED. Freshmen's take Advanced Spider-biology and have to learn ALL the different Spider-variations and illnesses Spider-people can get. Multiversal Physics.

All of the honor classes are FULL.

There's also other helpful ones like Firefighting Training and Sign Language (both mandatory), hence how Insomniac!Miles is completely fluent in ASL.

Oh - also. Because Miguel is such a tight-ass -

UNIFORMS. Sweater vests over pants or shorts. (No skirts cause they still be upsidedown and shit)

You have to bring your mask everyday. It's like your ID card

y'all ever had that? Like y'all needed an ID to get into school and if you didn't have it they charged you? Like money? My school did that we also had metal detectors like the airport I'm so deadass this was just a normal public school - I'm getting distracted, anyway-

Of COURSE Ms.Jessica Drew is Assistant Principal. OF COURSE she also teaches Advanced Combat and Strategies class.

And YES she's a hard-ass grader. Has never given a 100% in her life. On some 'This was the best thing I've read in my entire teaching career but you forgot to indent on paragraph 5 so 99%'

She doesn't give a fuck about your GPA!!!

Unlike Mr.Peter B. Parker.

He makes people call him 'Professor PB'. He wants to be the cool teacher.

His classroom is SO FUN during lunch time. Probably runs the anime and manga club. He's that really nerdy teacher that you don't expect to be like "I know what anime is! I grew up on Dragon Ball 😁

His class are always fun but SO chaotic. Still wears sweatpants sometimes. He's the Science teacher.

And every year they take class photos and there's a Spidey homecoming where everyone parties on the walls in cute outfits.

CAN YOU SEE IT?

Swinging Team instead of Track and Field???

CAN YOU IMAGINE IT?

MIGUEL AS PRINCIPAL???

LYLA BEING THE LOUD SPEAKER ANNOUNCER?

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my--moon · 4 months

Text

Percy Jackson Headcanons

• Probably likes Voltron: Legendary Defender (not me projecting)

• Thinks Annabeth is THE prettiest girl on earth, even better than Aphrodite—he'd never say that for obvious reasons tho

• He and Will probably go surfing sometimes

• He once woke up Annabeth at 1:00am just to go swimming (like that tiktok: “Babe, it's midnight.” “But I want cake.” That but swimming)

• Dyslexia and ADHD most likely.

• Can't spell schnitzel or restaurant

• Once fist fought an eel. In Percy's defence: “He was talking shit!”

• Translates anything the marine life say on water documentaries. Once a clownfish said a slur and Percy's face was just: 😨

• Loves to make sea puns just to piss Annabeth off

• Got the three Ds. Dirty Minded, Dirty Mouthed, and Dumbass

• Oblivious to flirting but can spot a burnt out demigod from a mile away

• bisexual. Bi4Bi with Annabeth

• Was actually so confused when Nico admitted his crush on him. Like he didn't care if he moved on, but was just: “I'm sorry. YOU like ME?.... Do you have brain damage, genuine question—?”

• Can recite the entire Guns and Ships and Cabinet Battle #1 Hamilton musical lyrics because Annabeth forced him to watch it with her multiple times

• M-A-M-A-B-O-Y M-A-M-A-B-O-Y! Mama's Boy! Mama's Boy!

• LOVES Avatar Way of the water. Because: 1) Blue people 2) WATER 3) the animals there are so cool 4) THE SOUNDTRACK OMFG

• His favourite Avatar character is Spider and Lo'ak. Cried during Neteyam's death (same buddy)

• Once accidentally electrocuted Jason. (he splashed water on him while he was showing off his lightning or something)

• he was so sorry, Jason was like: “Its Fiiiinnnnneee~ Don't worry.”

• He hates pineapples on pizza.

• Fell out of a tree and landed on Nico once.

• Has a random bracelet a younger (10-11) demigod made him and never takes it off

• Best big brother figure

• Also a little shit

THAT'S ALL. I LOVE PERCY TOO MUCH Y'ALL!1!!1!1

#awotw #incorrect percy quotes #percy jackson #annabeth percy jackson #percabeth #sally jackson #powerful percy jackson #pjato #the lightning thief #percy and annabeth #percy de rolo #percy pjo #percy jackon and the olympians #percy jackson x reader #percy jackson headcanon #headcanon #incorrect quotes #avatar the way of water

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vaspider · 1 month

Text

If your first instinct is to respond to someone talking about how people are conflating Zionism and Judaism in dangerous ways with 'why am I seeing Zionism on my dash,' you are part of the fucking problem, asshole.

My old shul just finished installing concrete blockades around the playground just in case someone decides to try to drive a truck across the playground while the kids are out there. Every synagogue I know has added more guards, more security. There was a car crash tonight outside a synagogue a friend of mine attends, and for a second when everybody could see one of the cars veering off the road toward the synagogue, the thought went through their head, essentially, oh, it's starting.

And the fact that posts like this, posts made by people who are tired and scared because they're being held to account for the actions of a country halfway around the world, over which they have no control whatsoever, posts of people saying 'please fucking listen to us,' are literally being held up as evidence that we're Bad Evil Zionists who should be purged? That's a fucking problem.

Since 2016, 2017 -- basically since I became Jewish -- I have made it a policy never to talk about I/P online because I don't actually think it's productive, and I have more productive shit I can be doing. The fact that I don't talk about it has been held up as ironclad proof of my opinions.

Think about that. The fact that I said 'I will not tell you what my opinion is because I think the way this is handled online isn't productive' seven years ago is held up as absolute proof of what I think now, and that those opinions are the somehow magically opinions that people who already think I'm a piece of shit want me to have so they have more reasons to say 'yeah, spider sucks.'

I didn't even have the same pronouns seven years ago. I lived 3000 miles away from where I live now. I own a company. I have two wives. But you're right, I must think the exact same thing about this thing that lets you hate me without thinking, 'am I the baddie?'

It's so fucking transparent. Zionist is now just "Jew I don't like," and Zionism is "any act Jews take which makes them visible in ways that don't involve groveling or dying." It's fucking pathetic. If you have spoken to a Zionist, you're a Zionist. If you have ever expressed any opinion about Israel that isn't 'it and all Israelis should be of course set on fire,' you're a Zionist. If you express no opinions at all about Israel, you're a Zionist. If someone already doesn't like you for whatever reason, they'll decide you're a fucking Zionist, and then that's all they need. Nobody ever questions it when they're told a Jew online is a Dirty, Evil, Zionist, and if you say you're not, actually, then you're a Lying, Dirty, Evil, Zionist.

Like, could y'all be any more transparent?

#the people calling me a Zionist also tend to misgender me #but i'm sure that's nothing that needs to be unpacked #no sir

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dirtytransmasc · 1 year

Note

One of my head canons is that Navi (or at least the Omaticaya) can't thermo-regulate very well. They're so SKINNY, and both the places we've been to look to have very warm and temperate climates. It's just something that they never evolved to do because they never needed to. Humans thermo-regulate pretty well, and I think this ability would translate somewhat to the avatars.

This breeds some "Jake is weird" moments where everyone is getting out thick blankets and starting many warming fires because of a cold night or the onset of a cold season and Jake is just standing there like, "Y'all it's not even below 60 degrees" (I'm a fahrenheit person). Neytiri thinks she's struck gold because her Jake gives of body heat like nobody's business and is perfect to be next to on cold nights.

Spider, fully human, is even more of a personal furnace. The kids FIGHT over who gets to cuddle with him on cold nights. Meanwhile him and Jake are looking at each other like, "I feel like it could be way colder" "oh it can, on earth the rain turns into mini-ice when it gets cold" "damn" "yeah, this is way better"

I love this idea, it fuels me sometimes.

spider is like a personal heated pillow of sorts, cause not only is he warm as fuck compared to his siblings, but he's also very squishy compared to them, and in general (cause the kids buff as shit and muscle is super soft when not tensed up). I'd be fighting over him too, he'd gotta feel like a big teddy bear, even just to other humans, let alone the na'vi.

I like to think that in the case of spider being accepted by neytiri as a kid, him and jake were forced to sleep in the middle of the pile to keep everyone warm when they wanted to be edge sleeps so they could sorta cool off and not overheat. neytiri would also steal spider from the kids and hold him all night long cause she's his mom and she has first dibs on using her son as a personal space heater.

I do also love the idea of jake and spider constantly overheating when doing things the na'vi way, especially during the cooler months, cause while the na'vi are freezing at the absolutely frigid temps for mid to low 60s, jake and spider are like, at the optimal temp. so when they get blankets and shawls piled on them like everyone else, they're legit dying. they have to have their own system to regulating their human/avatar temp needs throughout the seasons, cause otherwise they will die of heat stroke.

I'd love to see the sully family explore even colder climates, like, jake and spider having fun in the snow, while the kids and neytiri are literally popsicles. both boys resign to their fates as human defrosters soon after.

#the omatikaya people in particular being terrible at temperature regulation when its not in the high 70s to mid 90s and humid as shit i #is so real to me #like it just makes sense #they literally live in a jungle #spider and jake just got used to this shit eventually #like they don't really get whats so special about themselves #they just go with it #luckily #they're both whores for physical affection so its cool with them #so long as they get to have some sort of breathing room to cool off #cause otherwise they hate it #spider socorro #miles socorro #miles spider socorro #jake sully #avatar 2 #avatar the way of water

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obimaulartfire · 9 months

Text

Do you ever just...wake up and think about how Obi-wan was, for most of his life, Maul's reason to live?

Let me explain, and this is one of the main reasons I was drawn to ObiMaul in the first place. (long ramble below)

We're all aware of the events at the reactor fight, and it'd be an understatement to say it was a very hostile first encounter. But it's in the aftermath where the dynamic gets interesting.

Maul survived on his own, for years, with only his top half. As a former biology major, sometimes I think about how possible this would be in real life, if at all. It would be insanely uncomfortable at best, and impossible at worst. But through the excruciating pain, Maul survived, fueled purely by his intense hatred/obsession with Kenobi (and some star wars darkside magic, I'm sure).

Maul says this himself when first meeting Obi-wan again in season 4 of The Clone Wars:

"You would never imagine the depths I'd go to to stay alive, fueled by my singular hatred...for you."

Imagine being on the brink of death, with half of your circulatory system GONE, your heart beating irregularly, and your "lower half" being in constant pain, but still finding something to live for, and living...for YEARS. That's impressive. Hate-filled or not, it's hard to deny that for that time, thoughts of Obi-wan literally kept Maul alive for a decade.

Maul comes back to the series having been left for dead by Sidious, with spider legs he made himself, and no sense of time and a destroyed sense of sanity. Yet, he lives.

And additionally, revenge on Sidious is only second in his thoughts to his revenge on Obi-wan, even though Sidious is technically the one who left him for dead. Since Maul can't sit still, he did many other things during the Clone Wars in accordance with his own ambitions, likely to attempt to reclaim that part of his life that had been lost to Lotho Minor, but that's a tangent for another post.

He gets revenge on Obi-wan (I guess) by killing Satine, but even that isn't enough for him, as evidenced by the Satine hate shrine that we see in Rebels, when Ezra visits Maul's cave on Dathomir:

(on a side note, there is no sane heterosexual explanation for this^, I'm sorry/j)

Why would you keep a memento of someone you've killed? Why would you cross out their eyes? Maul didn't hate Satine that much, and it's my opinion that he did this because she was important to Obi-wan.

And that brings me to my next point: Rebels Maul

Y'all.... there's a reason the title of my blog is "Twin Suns Changed My Brain Chemistry", because I vaguely had feelings about these two in Clone Wars, but Rebels really cemented this dynamic for me.

I cannot emphasize enough that in Rebels, Maul thinks Obi-wan Kenobi is dead. Whether he got killed in Order 66 or when Vader and the Inquisitors started purging Force Users, there was maybe a .000001% chance that any Jedi, especially Obi-wan, would have survived that. And yet. When we enter Rebels, we find Maul on Malachor, stuck on the planet looking for the Sith holocron.

WHY is he trying to find the Sith holocron? In Maul's own words:

"As for me, I...seek something much simpler, yet equally elusive... Hope."

Hope? That surely isn't a Sith ideal. It's revealed later that the only reason Maul wants to combine these ancient artifacts is to learn whether or not Obi-wan Kenobi is alive. I shit you not.

This implies that Maul has had Hope that Obi-wan has been alive for what... 15 years? That's a long time. At this point, Maul may be like, 49 or 50. He has been fixated on Obi-wan for 30 years of his life. Thoughts of Obi-wan kept him going and going and going for 3/5ths of his life. Even when he thinks Obi-wan has died, he spends 15 years trying to find him, just hoping that he is alive. But for what?

It's unclear to me what Maul, in canon, really desires from Obi-wan. But one thing for sure is that Obi-wan acts as a...source of emotions for Maul. A source of feelings, and a reason to keep going through times that other characters would give up.

Other characters may have survived, but Maul lived because of Obi-wan. Through being bisected, the Clone Wars, being chased by Vader and the Inquisitors, and through periods of despair.

And before the end, he just wants to find his reason to live again, and dies in his arms.

#obimaul #obi wan x maul #i've been writing this for hours #i just have a lot of feelings #star wars headcanons #long post #sw rebels #swtcw #darth maul #obiwan kenobi #i'm so afraid to put my thoughts out there but tumblr is the perfect platform for that so #one day i really hope to capture the raw emotion in this duo bc i crave it and there's not a lot of content out there like that #thank you for coming to my ted talk

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lunedottir · 10 months

Text

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤDANCING QUEEN . . ♪⁠ヽ⁠(⁠･⁠ˇ⁠∀⁠ˇ⁠･⁠ゞ⁠)

pairing: hobie brown x fem!dancer!reader

genre: fluff, a liiiiiiittle bit suggestive! just a little bit 🤏🏾

synopsis: headcanons for Hobie Brown with a spider!dancer! girlfriend.

warnings: none (?) me thinks. a bit of self projection maybe but oh well i'm just a human!!!!

a.n: hai guys :3 i was listening to my kpop playlist last night and i ended up thunking the thoughts. the thoughts have been thunked. anyways, day 3 of my writing challenge, and i'm double posting today because i forgot day 2 :D love y'all, stay safe! <3 xoxo

taglist form.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤPLEASE CONSIDER REBBLOGING

> you started dancing waaaay before that spider bit you, in school

> which made things way easier when everything happened

> you already had the control you needed over your body

> and even though you were spiderwoman, you had never (and i mean never) missed a practice for your cover group

> okay, you danced a bit of everything, but mainly kpop

> when you first met Hobie, it was because you declined a mission

> he was like "?? we can do that???" as you two met to discuss the details

"Miguel said this is your mission, why'd you make me do it?"

"i have a presentation to do."

"what?"

"yeah, my dance group has a presentation today and i'm centering, I can't miss it "

"oh."

> and that was on his mind for the rest of the day

> when you started dating hobie, he wanted to see you dance

> would ask everyday if there was any presentation coming soon, or if he could go to your dance practices

> eventually you gave in and invited him and his friends (pav, gwen and miles) to a public presentation your group was doing

> easy to say he loved it

> was cheering everytime you appeared on the center

> not really a fan of the songs, but loved how cute you looked on those outfits and ending poses

> the four of them would go backstage to see you, and i just know Miles and Pav would hype you up all the time

> Hobie would give you a smirk and look you up and down, telling you how good you look

> when it gets to a difficult choreography (i'm talking Run Bts and OMG), they all would be 😯😯😯😯 looking at you

"holy shit that's fast"

"how does she do that?"

> Gwen is mad impressed, btw

> she's a ballerina, so she knows how hard it is

> anyways moving on!!

> in private he would kiss all over your face and tell you how amazing you were

> 1000% a fanboy when it comes to you

> you're always humming the new song you're learning and he ends up learning it

> asked you to create a choreo to one of his songs

> obviously you did, and he fell even more for ya

> he likes to call you his "dancing queen"

> bet he's an ABBA fan but he'll deny it

> loves how you do customization on your clothes and even helps you

> can and will show up as spiderman in one of your performances

> if you have a solo act, oh boy, prepare yourself

> after everything is done and it's only the both of you… 🤭

> he's really into praising so… yeah, i think you can take it from here

> overall just really proud of you and your #1 fan!!!

thank you all for the support, stay safe <3

taglist: @elusive-honeydew @traacy-lin @ppinkkkiwi

#hobie brow atsv #hobie brown x reader #hobie brown x you #hobie brown #hobie brown x fem!reader #atsv x reader #atsv x you #moon writes!#platonic gwen stacy #platonic pavitr prabhakar #platonic miles morales

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defectivefanboy · 1 year

Note

Hey there! I’ve read a few of your posts now and I truly enjoy your writing, you’re very good at it ^^

I was wondering if I could request an Alastor x gender neutral reader who is similar to Beetlejuice (personality and power wise). Like, how did he feel about them at first? And how did it progress into more of a relationship.

If not, that’s completely alright! I hope you have a great rest of your day <3

~ 🕷️🕸️

yessir!! this is actually the first time (and second for good measure) that I watched Beetlejuice fully through.

Overall notes: Stories written on this blog are GN until specified. While this story uses they/them pronouns, and I don't mind female readers on my blog, I do not write for y'all, and if you are a fetishizer fuck off????????????????? ew.

C/W: Cursing, Mentions of Pervertedness, its Beetlejuice, You're canonical Jesus Christ /j, or am I?, Dark humor, Possessive Alastor, Mentions of Bite marks, Dirt ball reader, just reader being gross here and there, nothing too much, youre Beetlejuice, reader has universal rizz

Notes: If you read the C/W warnings it was real late leave me alone. you'll understand when you get there. writing this my mind kept straying and just wanted to write Alastor love because god holy fuck I love him. Im an actual slut for domestic alastor I could write him all day.

The Radio Show...

Oh he's truly interested in you. Not remotely romantic or even platonically, but he is interested (at least at first)

Lets be real quick, he knows hes in hell, but what IN the hell is he looking at.

And what was that outfit you were wearing??? Did you just get out of prison prom???

But your first meeting with him was... interesting to say the least

But then again I think all your interactions are interesting (always more, never less)

But damn. He just had to think the 'sinner' was new to hell and could easily get a quick bite

Poor Alastor really thought the 'sinner' that looked around hell like a lost child as he strolled up with his uncanny smile

Last thing he expected was a jumpy, sporadic, and unfortunately a bit more then a little bit of a pervert.

The record stopped more than a few time at your comments–- Sorry Alastor.

And it had only been a few minutes of meeting you (rip)

And to be honest with you. come here. little closer

He did not know what in all of hell you were trying to pitch to him

He couldn't even get a word in with how fast you talked

And how many voices you did, you basically had a conversation to yourself.

"Ghost can't even scare humans away anymore, pfft. Can't you believe that shit. The last jack offs wouldn't even call me, I had to get some human girl to do it. Is it weird it happened twice? Second time her mom was dead! Gets funnier each time."

Oh?

Humans?

Now you have his interest

And you were able to travel to the human world

"So you're a hell born demon then, correct?" Alastor asked quirking a brow at the questionable individual in front of him, who quickly stopped talking to, well, themselves and snapped their head to him. They seemed to had just gotten here... or gotten back, as their clothes were slightly tussled and their hair was flying everywhere

With a quick dusting of your clothes you straightened your posture. Clearing your throat you spoke in a flat monotone voice. "Well, no actually, uhm, I was born in a manger inside of a barn, my mother, was a virgin and my step father Jospeh was a real piece of work let me tell you that. Died for your sins, y'know, should be thanking me."

This is the first time the radio show had gone radio silent... before he walked away.

Alastor had met a lot of demons, probably killed even more.

Hell he has even put up with that horny spider, but this was the first time he had to take a breather from another sinner? demon? enigma?

But damn it all to hell, he was curious

He had been for so long and he had only interacted with lower hellborn demons.

The occasional Goetia or hell royal would make a public appearance, but that that was all.

Never had he interacted with someone who went from hell to the human world on the daily

The first few meetings he truly tried to keep his distance, keyword tried

But you can only keep a person who teleports around at a distance for some long

Though it to end in you being pushed back by his microphone when you got a bit too close on accident more often then not

But overall he enjoys each of your meetings, enjoy being used loosely

He was more interested in the ever changing world of humans

You only get as knowledgeable of the new world as it comes in, but you have to find them

So having a way to always keep updated he truly enjoyed.

He kinda saw you as, well, while he would say a mole, as you get him information

Not that you honestly realize, you kinda just talk about random shit

He sees you as well, as uh, ahem...

"Quite the squirrelly fellow you are, aren't you?" He quipped with a smile on his face. The both of you walking along one of the many roads of hell as you talked about your latest excursion to the human world. Giving him a confused look you gave him a side eye a you spoke. "Now, what do you mean by that, hm? I don't storage tree nuts in my cheeks, I storage metal nuts in them." Taking your hand you drug into your cheek and pulled out a rusted nut before offering it to him. In which he squatted away with his microphone.

"No."

Alastor in or out of a relationship now seems like the calm one out of the pair whenever you two are together

And he always has a tilt to his head whenever he's with you as if he's always curious about your next move (well bc he honestly is)

Getting into a relationship is simple to him, but not to you.

He had to explain a few times (many times) to you that you two were on a date while out. Thank the lord he has more patience then he let's on

Truly he's only patient with you after learning he'll get no where either way

He tried threatening at one point, but it didn't work when you tried getting him to work for you in the human world.

Spoiler alert: that also didn't work

Alastor did tried to ask you out in a traditional way. Taking you to dinner, albeit at a cannibal restaurant, he really didn't know what you ate

He was disgusted when he found out, almost gagged, had to take a moment for himself

But he tried asking you out in a nice, classy, quiet place.

Spoiler again: didnt work

His question when right over your head.

"Go out? Aren't we already out? What we doing then? How more out do you wanna be? Gotta say though, never been to a place this fancy, must got some walking cash, huh? You know we could start a business together I be the brains, face and you can be..." You droned on as your hand flared around as you spoke. Alastor stared at you as static rumbled from his chest, one eye twitching in annoyance. Sighing he shook his head as he stared with a smile. Maybe you didn't understand what he was asking, or maybe you did. To be honest he doesn't know how much you know, but maybe letting you go on about whatever it is you're planning and get a deal out of you.

Nothing big, just a small pact that you two are "partners."

Cheeky Bastard.

He did tell you eventually someday, he's not heartless

Don't mention that it was after he had convinced you to move in his home (or apartment?? he staying at the hotel?? like??)

But it's another story for getting you to take a shower or a bath.

While Alastor isn't a clean freak or anything he much rather keep his house clean and smell free.

Alastor had quite a few sleepiness nights when you decided to sneak into his bed without a shower.

He almost banned you from the house until you agreed to take a shower after 'work'

now onto the good part

While he doesnt enjoy physical touch from anyone, only part taking in it when he's making someone uncomfortable

He settled on the fact you were gonna keep making every effort to get into his personal space

You only found out he enjoyed having you near him when your items from the guest room you had been staying in were now in his room

Be it having a hand placed on the middle of your back or letting you fiddle with his fingers as you talk

He always finds a way to get a touch in on a daily basis

What can he say? he likes to have a hold on what's his

That's another thing

He's a possessive lover, or person in general but ignore that right now

He just doesn't understand

Why do you have so much rizz

Both sinners and hell born demons seem to love you

And he hates it

Loathes it

If we wanted to get Nsfw real quick

He likes to leave bites and marks on you so even humans know where you belong <3

Going back to sfw

On the outside, beyond the walls of his home. He's well, he's Alastor

Cunning, Cruel, and Evil

But inside? .......Hey Siri, can you domestic a deer?

We already know he enjoys cooking, his mothers recipes are always a hit. He does have to convince you to eat something if it's new.

But he's decently domestic within the comfort of his own walls. As domestic as he can be will a feral dog in his home now. At least you're potty trained, right? Right??

He always enjoyed being alone, especially when he needed a break.

But as weird as it was for the first few months

Going to bed alone in a quiet home, everything neat and orderly was always a treat for the

just to wake up to a god awful mess like a hurricane had hit only the inside of the house.

Thankfully he's unable to fully freak out when he feels the weight of a body laying on him.

Arms wrapped securely in place as he moved around trying to view the full scope of the mess.

The look of defeat only rested on his face for a moment before he was pulled down by striped arms.

"What are staring at, red?..." You said half asleep as you pulled on the back up his shirt collar. "it's still too early to worry about the mess. Come back to bed" He gently shook his head in disgust opening his mouth to speak before getting cut off by a strong pull of his shirt. "I was setting up... sandworm traps. Couldn't't let them get my dearest deer." Alastor gave you a questioning look wanting to ask, but knowing better not too.

Sighing he let himself relax back into the comforter and wrap his arms loosely around as you laid right back on top of him. One of his hands softly treaded through your messy hair causing you to sigh and melt into his body. It was a quiet few moments until he had a passing thought.

"Wait... deer with an A, correct? Correct??"

He wasn't getting an answer from you anytime soon...

#foolish writing #request #request open #hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel alastor #alastor x reader #hazbin alastor #X reader #X gn reader #x male reader #Hazbin hotel x reader #Alastor x gn reader #hazbin hotel x reader

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kairiscorner · 8 months

Note

HEY RIRIIIIII HI PUKI BEARRRR I HOPE UR DOING WELL TODAY 🫶🏽🫶🏽🫶🏽

ANYWAYSSS

i been rewatching adventure time because like the new fiona and cake spin off show is making me AUAUAU and marshal lees new redesign is so AAAAAAAA

BUT ONTO MY POINT

HOBIE BROWN X FEM!READER BUT ITS LIKE A SONG FIC (OR INSPIRED IDRC) BY THE SONG GOOD LITTLE GIRL SONG IN ADVENTURE TIME

BECAUSE I FEEL LIKE THAT SONGS SO HIM?? AND IF LIKE U WROTE THIS ID GO ACTUALLY FERAL

TYYYYY ILY RIIII (*^◯^*)

-🪴

HI LOVELYYYYY OH MY GOD, YES?????? i was an adventure time kid ever since i was like ... 5-7? THIS SHIT WAS MY JAM AS A KID, I'M SO FUCKING HAPPY ABOUT THE NEW SHOW, I HAVEN'T WATCHED IT YET THOUGH BUT I PLAN TO ... that scene in the original show really is so hobie x reader core omg, I LOVE ITTTT also i'm sorry but the 'puki' got me cackling – (imma explain in the comments if y'all want)

(reblogs are greatly appreciated, it helps get my content out there! if you guys like what you see, please reblog it too <:D)

he's such a bad little boy. – hobie brown x fem!reader

"good little girl... always picking a fight with me."

he was pretty much the most annoying asshole you've ever met–he never took anything about you seriously, pestered you a lot for your height, your grumpy face, your sour mood, your little huffs and puffs in response to his provocation... it was all too cute to him when you'd pick fights with him and be all angry and aggressive as usual. he loved the little banter you two shared, the sleepless nights you two would spend together just running your mouths off at each to sleep–and being pampered yet teased by him all the same. he was the best, worst friend you ever had in the history of ever... and you didn't want to lose him, no matter how annoying he was.

"you know that i'm bad... but you're spending the night with me."

"back so soon?" you ask him as he climbs into your window with his spider suit still on, only taking the mask off once you let him in your room and slumps in your bean bag, smirking all the while. "your room's pretty comfy, like how... good little girls keep their rooms as." he teased, making you pout and puff your cheeks up. "is that supposed to mean something, hobart?" you asked with extra emphasis on his name, making him smirk and shrug. "hey, now, it's up for interpretation." he said with a chuckle, making you groan loudly. "well, at least let me play your guitar. maybe... smash a few simpletons' heads in with this." you murmured as hobie gently took your hands in his, correcting your finger positions on his electric guitar.

"what do you want from my world? you're a good little girl..." he asks you, with slight rhetoric, knowing you were never one to disobey the rules and let alone wish to play loud, 'obstructive' music that would bother the neighbors. you sighed and followed hobie's lead, strumming and playing the right chords he taught you.

"bad little boy... that's what you're acting like."

"can't i choose to have fun, hobart?" you asked him with sarcasm in your tone, making him laugh. "of course, you can have everything you want–that's what good little girls like you deserve, right?" he said as he gently let go of your hands and let you figure out how to play a melody you came up with on the spot on your own. "it's just that... i never thought you'd be rebellious. never did, never will." he joked as you gave him a flat, fake laugh, knowing full well he was serious about what he said. "like, i can be the intimidating-like, 'rebellious' bloke or whatever for the two of us, at least outwardly. i'll take the trouble for you, that's enough, innit?"

"i really don't buy... that you're that kind of guy."

"nah. besides... that kind of hobie everyone else sees isn't the hobie i know." you said as you tuned his electric guitar. he raised an eyebrow at you in intrigue. "go on, dear." "well... you may be a little brash, loud, and you love telling assholes in authority to kiss your ass... but you aren't a total blockhead. you have a heart, you care, and you... you aren't as mean and scary as everyone thinks you are."

"and if you are... why do you want to hang out with me?" you asked him in a partly rhetorical way of your own this time–making hobie pause for a minute to look at you, and soon, burst into a sweet smile on his face. he gently pecked your cheek and wrapped his arm around your shoulders, bringing you closer to him with a satisfied sigh. "i just love to be around my good little girl... can't that be enough?" "then you're lucky i like being around my bad little boy..." you said with a sly smirk as hobie grinned and kissed your lips gently.

you truly were his bad little goody two shoes, and he loved you dearly for it.

tags !! @ii01vq @luvstarrstruck @maxoloqy @k4tsu3 @solecitoszn @toneystank-3000 @arachnoia @popeheywardssecretgf @euphovlq @rohansdisciple @conitagray

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wxnheart · 10 months

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𝐌𝐚𝐠𝐢𝐜 𝐖𝐨𝐫𝐝 (𝐏𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐞, 𝐁𝐚𝐛𝐲…)

note: this is for my friend and the rest of y'all Spider Simps outchea. enjoy.

You hummed around his dick again and it was all Miguel could do not to fuck your throat. But he didn't want to give you the satisfaction. Not ever. Or yet. Possibly. Yeah...

"What's the magic word, baby?" You whispered once you came up for air. You kissed Miguel's leaking head. You kissed one taut thigh. Felt the power underneath your lips. Fuck, was it amazing to see him like this. To know that he could rip you apart if he wanted but he was restraining himself. You were playing with fire and you knew it.

And for his part, Miguel didn't know what he hated more, you for doing this or himself for allowing you to do this to him. But he hated it. And you. And what you're doing to him. And the way you're fucking trying his patience. Stop fucking playing with him. He's already fucking wound up tight and you're just... Shit. Your mouth. God, your mouth, just... just let him—

"I'm waiting." There you fucking go again, demanding him with that singsong voice of yours. Demanding him and now you're stroking him, the wet sounds of your saliva and his precum messing with his head, messing his senses up. Miguel bites down on his lip, not wanting to give you the satisfaction. His eyes are clenched shut, brows furrowed. Like fuck he'll let you see him like this; like fuck you'll make him beg.

But two can play that game. You're stroking him urgently now, bringing him close, trying to coax anything from those sinful lips of his. You almost hear it, a groan from the deep recesses of his being that would've had you moaning had Miguel not stopped himself, had he not given in. Because fuck you, that's why.

Miguel who is close again. So. Fucking. Close. So close without giving you even the satisfaction of hearing the full extent of his pleasure. He wants to thrust into your hand, wants to paint your goddamn face with his cum—you stopped. Goddamit, you stopped. No, no... NO. Fuck. Fuck this. Fuck all of this. And fuck you.

Miguel who, pride be damned, opens his eyes and regards you. You and your smirk, leaving his dick weeping and God, he was so close—. But he's angry. He's so angry and you love it. Frustration emanated off of him in droves. Teeth bared for you to see. Madness, aggravation, pure fucking want. There you go, Miguel!

But nah, you're greedy as fuck. You wanted to hear it. Wanted to hear him. And so you try him again. "What's the magic word, sweetie?" Your sickeningly saccharine voice never infuriated him more. You enveloped his dick again in your hot mouth and FUCK—

God. Just... fuck. Shit. Miguel didn't... he didn't know what he was asking for. Didn't know if he was asking for release, for more, for both, but he was asking. And he hated himself. And you. But himself more. Hated himself for allowing you to get the best of him, for giving in, for giving you the satisfaction. Miguel hated himself... because he wanted it so fucking bad. And if he wasn't so far gone, he'd wince at how he sounded so damn desperate.

"Shit, just—Just let me—let me cum; just—FUCK! FUCK! Okay, just let me—give me... Please..." There we go, baby boy.

But not all games had to end. You come up for air again, lips glistening and you're fucking smirking again. And in your sickeningly saccharine voice, you answer and Miguel hates you (and himself) all over again: "No."

#request fill.#nsfw.#cutie 𝓠.#miguel o'hara #miguel o'hara x reader #spider man: across the spider verse #marvel #spiderman 2099 #across the spiderverse

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ofdinosanddais1 · 12 days

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Heartbreak High Season 2 Spoilers

So... lots of shit happened in the finale.

1): I like that they're setting up a redemption for Sasha and Spider. Both have done such horrible things on complete opposite ends of the spectrum but it's nice to see they could have a path to growth.

2): For Spider, I'm hoping to see more of his home life. I am thinking his father abused both him and his mom and his mom had a traumatic response which made her fear men including her own son. I think she pushed him away when she should've helped him because that's her kid and he reacted in his own way. And that does not absolve him of his wrongdoings, it means he has to sort through this shit in order to grow and prevent further harm to others. I would love to see more discussion on that in the third season. I would love for Spider to have a retribution and closure arc not for his own wellbeing (although it's a factor) but because there are boys watching this show who might have experienced things like him who might want to know it's okay to feel emotions and to see the damage that his actions did to show that it's not a healthy thing to do and it hurts a lot of people. I said redemption arc because that's probably what the show is setting up for but I think "redemption" should be left ambiguously like he's trying to be better but his actions have lasting consequences on the people he's hurt and he will always be making up for that. Changing for other people is not about being seen as the good guy but doing your best to prevent further harm. It's a complicated thing to deal with but I think showing that complexity like they have before is so important for kids watching this show.

3): I would fucking adore to see a Sasha redemption arc mostly for my own experience with other people who behaved like her who never learned from their mistakes for treating me differently because I'm autistic. Some of y'all might not want a redemption arc for her but like, I would fucking love to see her apologize and acknowledge what she did wrong and show change. Even if it's hard to do at first because no one will be perfect on the first try. After the lack of a genuine apology from Sia and her actions to the autistic community and how she continues to victimize herself, I just really want an allistic person to apologize and do better and I think the set-up for that in season 3 is PERFECT. Hopefully, there's a way for Quinni to still be school captain with Sasha as her co-captain because I think a message of uplifting people in communities you are not a part of is an EXCELLENT message. Sasha could step back with being the leading voice in this and allow Quinni to be a voice in her life as being autistic. Then this could expand to Sasha stepping back and uplifting other people's voices and learn that activism is about bringing people together and allowing space to share ideas and not trying to call out every single action she thinks is wrong. Overall though, I don't want them back in a relationship. I think the captain/vice-captain friendship could be fucking GREAT.

4): My heart fucking hurts for Cash. During that whole episode where he was on that boat with Chook, I was so fucking scared it was gonna be a jumping out situation but I fucking hope Chook doesn't mess with Cash or Harper anymore. He fucking had a deal and I don't want any redemption for Chook whatsoever. Crime and recidivism reduction is a special interest of mine and I fucking hated that Cash was in that situation to begin with and it's a perfect example of how vulnerable people join gangs. I am so fucking elated that this show is doing a great job of representing crime, recidivism, and police brutality. I'll have to research the prison system in Australia because I wanna see the similarities between Australia and the US's prison system. But YES. NAIL ON HEAD. A lot of teenagers and children join gangs because they are vulnerable whether that be an abusive home life such as Cash being in a group home then in Chook's gang before his grandma brought him to her home. How your family, your friends, your loved ones are all in danger when you are trying to leave a gang. I'm so fucking relieved that hopefully Cash can be free. I don't trust Chook's word though and that stuff always haunts people who often have no choice. I just want him to be safe and loved and cared for. He deserves so much better.

5): Kinda disappointed that Harper and Amerie didn't have a conversation on how Harper treated her but I think I still like their arc. I don't think that they're in anyway on the best terms they could be but I think it's because that Amerie views relationships transactionally in the way that she thinks she has to give every cent of her self to make other people accept her and I wanna see more of Amerie's story. For one, we know she has a sorta strict mom. For two, I've never seen anything about her dad. I'm wondering if there was an incident in her peer group in the earlier days or a situation in her home life where she feels like she constantly has to give 200% just to feel like she deserves even 5% of something. I really want the showrunners to tackle that kind of stuff in the third season. I want Harper and Amerie to have some kind of realization that their friendship is more complicated and I want Amerie to just have a god damn break for once. Have like a filler episode or gods just a fucking nap. I want Amerie to get like a cold where Harper or Darren or someone just helps her out while a bunch of crazy shit happens at school. Give my girl a break.

6): I fucking hate Rowan. He's manipulative but also traumatized. BUT CAN WE TALK ABOUT HOW GREAT SAM RECHNER DID PORTRAYING HIM??? It's like he woke up one day as Rowan like his acting was fucking PHENOMENAL. If Rowan is in the third season, I'm not going to be mad because I fucking love Sam Rechner's portrayal of a teenager that is aggressive and touchy and just... how tf do I put this... a sort of trauma-touched angry that is not the typical portrayal of "I'm angry because I'm traumatized" but just representative of people who are like him if that makes any fucking sense??? Idk how to describe his attitude and mannerisms because there us definitely trauma laced with his actions but you can also tell through his backstory that this shit didn't start with his trauma or at least not the one we saw in the beginning. It's kinda like the signs of a serial killer but (hopefully) those signs are recognized and he is placed in a treatment that can focus on protecting himself and others. I don't think his behaviors will go away and I would not be surprised if he's not in the second season because he was institutionalized because that seems like a natural progression.

It's weird to talk about Rowan because there are signs that his trauma has influence on his behavior but is not the sole cause of his behavior. I don't want to put some kind of diagnostic label on him and I encourage everyone else to also not put a diagnostic label on him because I think most people watching (including myself) have the psychological knowledge to put a label on him without demonizing other mental illnesses because I see a lot of behaviors that can be attributed to some psychological problems but I'm not educated enough to talk about that without demonizing people with those mental illnesses who act so far from his other behaviors. So, I don't recommend other people putting a label on him because, even with good intentions, there are people who would want to use Rowan as a reason to demonize real life mentally ill people. But, I do not fucking like him as a person. I love the characterization. But fuck him to the sun, man. He was manipulative of Amerie and he was trying to forget Amerie but his thoughts did result in harmful actions and I think the best retribution would be deep psychiatric help but knowing the mental health industry, the kind of help he needs does not currently exist and that fucking sucks. If he is in the next season, I'm not going to complain because holy fuck I loved the character in the realm of his writing like the writer room for Heartbreak High deserves a fucking award.

Overall, my thoughts on the season were that I love how complicated everyone is. The characters feel like actual people that exist in real life. They feel loved and cared for and I hope netflix greenlights a third season. I've seen a LOT of people recently who hadn't watched the first season come out but got a netflix account specifically to watch Heartbreak High and that kind of thing is what netflix WANTS so I'm a little more hopeful that a third season might get greenlit. I'm excited to see what the showrunners do next.

Again, gonna say that, whatever behaviors that Rowan has that can be attributed to certain mental health disorders, let's just consider what fuel we're adding to the fire.

And because some people did this, remember that the actors are not the characters. A lot of people bullied Gemma for Sasha's actions but Gemma is the actor playing Sasha, she is not actually Sasha. She did a fantastic job so it might be confusing but she is not Sasha and does not deserve the hate she gets for her wonderful portrayal. This goes for EVERY actor.

#god i fucking love this show #heartbreak high #heartbreak high spoilers #heartbreak high season 2 spoilers #heartbreak high season 2 #phenomenal fucking job

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loops-n-boops · 10 months

Text

While I'm on my bullshit I've decided to bless y'all with more Seed boy headcanons!

Jacob Seed

He can fall asleep anywhere. Will he stay asleep? No. But will he take a good thirty minute nap the moment he sits down in one of the piews? Yes.

Secretly doesn't hate Wheatys radio. He will never admit it but one of the chosen caught him humming Safari Song one time and no one will ever let it down

He fucking loves peanut butter. If he needs a snack and any of the options have peanut butter in it he will down that shit in twenty seconds

He has gotten high with John a few times. The first time it happened was a few months after they got to hope county. The two walked into a convenience store, high at about ten pm and knocked over a whole display. (Someone ask me to write a stoned John and Jacob fic please I'll have a blast)

Jacob and John came out to each other while stoned and the conversation went like this:

"Jacob would you still love me if I liked men?"

"No way me too"

To he more specific about my Jacob Seed sexuality HC I think he's Asexual Homoromantic.

He first started questioning his sexuality when he was about thirteen, finding himself attracted to one of their neighbors.

He calls Joseph Joey and John Johnny, he just doesn't do it in front of others.

When he's bored he radios John and starts screaming the DuckTales theme song (I don't care that it's kinda out of character, he's the annoying older brother dammit

Joseph Seed

When he first started talking to John again he asked him how high he was and John said "No, it's hi how are you" and to this day he views this as the funniest conversation he's ever had

He has a snort laugh

His favorite spider men are Peter B. Parker, Spider Punk and Spider Noir

He sleeps on his back and often people need to put their finger under his nose to make sure he's alive

He can't drive

He knows how to knit

He is afraid of Hurk Jr. and Sharkey. It is purely because they are extremely unpredictable

Would give homophobic target workers speeches on why they're wrong during pride month

When Jacob and John get too childish he pulls them by the ears

John Seed

When mad at Jacob he calls him dumbo

Do you need a hickey covered? Call him, he'll get it done quickly and accurately

He has shitty doctors handwriting

He doesn't spend much on himself but when he does end up spoiling himself you bet your ass yes coming home with a lot of candy and a four pack of beer.

He hates beer by the way. He prefers red wine and vodka.

He paints his nails when he gets bored

He loves Gordon Ramsey shows and will binge them at three am

He tends to bite his nails when nervous

Is the only Seed family member that understands social medias. However he isn't the social media freak most think he would be. He is so glad Joseph hasn't had the idea of having an official because he knows he'll get into so many comment section fights

#far cry 5 #john seed #jacob seed #joseph seed #headcanons

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putaposyinyourhair · 5 months

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One Brain Cell and a Whole Lot of Mistakes

• lo’ak x spider where i constantly just torture both of them because they’re ✨dumbasses✨

• a/b/o, ye be warned and shit

• seriously au but hey! trudy lives bitches

• also posted on ao3 so if y'all wanna drop any comments, go wild fam

Lo’ak and Spider have always shared one brain cell, have been the best of friends since as far back as they can remember. Unfortunately, this fact remains true even after Lo’ak mysteriously presents— because Lo’ak has won the proverbial jackpot when it comes to his father’s genes and all the human traits that come with that; including that thing humans do where they go through a second puberty and acquire a shiny new second gender for themselves.

And Spider? Well, he’d presented years ago and apparently he and Lo’ak aren’t the only ones missing a few brain cells, because every single adult in their vicinity casually forgets to give either of them a ‘talk’ that goes any deeper than, ‘This is your second gender, here are some things your body’s going to put you through, chin up, kid.’

And so, with one brain cell shared between them and all the naïveté of a human boy completely out of his depth and a Na’vi boy fed up with his fucking lot in life, they fall into the most dramatic love affair ever seen on Eywa.

Chapter 1 - Lo'ak

“Daaaaaaaad!”

Lo’ak is near hyperventilating by the time his parents get to him, accompanied by all of his siblings— which, of course they come too, drawn in by the terror in their brother’s cry— their eyes wide, battling away the sleep still lingering persistently.

“What is it?” his dad demands, sharp gaze flitting about erratically as he crouches by Lo’ak’s side— like he’s trying to pinpoint the source of Lo’ak’s distress. “What’s going on?”

Lo’ak’s got both of his hands firmly over his crotch as he attempts to reign in his unstable breathing. His face feels ridiculously hot, and his cheeks must be completely flushed because Tuk pops out from behind their mom and reaches out to poke at his face inquisitively.

Lo’ak sputters and immediately jerks away from her touch.

In response to his unusual behavior, Tuk flinches back, her little face twisting in a frown as she drops her gaze sadly.

Lo’ak grimaces, his shoulders slumping forward just slightly. He feels like an absolute prick. He’s never pulled away from his siblings’ touch before. But he doesn’t know what the hell is happening to him.

What if he’s… contagious?

“Lo’ak,” his dad calls, voice firm. “What happened, boy?”

The man’s gaze is firmly set on Lo’ak now but still Lo’ak hesitates.

He doesn’t want to say it in front of his mother. He definitely doesn’t want to say it in front of his sisters. Kiri will hold it over his head for years, she’ll never let him forget it.

And Neteyam’s probably going to come up with a never-ending supply of stupid jokes to crack at Lo’ak’s expense. Which will inevitably just get them both grounded because at some point Lo’ak will get fed up and he’ll snap and they’ll eventually come to blows.

“Lo’ak,” his mom trills softly, one hand placed on Tuk’s head to comfort her. “Tell us.”

Lo’ak digs his two front teeth into his bottom lip and looks away for a moment, his tail swishing behind him almost violently. He does his best to take a deep breath and then screws his eyes shut.

“Something’swrongwithmydick.”

He admits it quietly but swiftly and it comes out nigh-on unintelligible. And when he cracks one eye open to take a peek at his family’s reactions, he’s met with confused frowns all around.

Neteyam has one brow arched down at Lo’ak from his place over their dad’s crouched form— his expression clearly conveying that he thinks his brother’s finally lost it. Kiri meets Lo’ak’s gaze impassively then rolls her eyes with an exasperated huff.

“Again,” their mom commands, like she’s talking to an infant and not someone who’s practically mature. “But slower.”

Lo’ak opens his other eye and glances down at where his hands are pressing down against the front of his loincloth, wincing when his tail jerks sharply and it accidentally rocks him forward, sending an acute pulse of pain up his spine.

He groans softly, then grunts to try and clear his throat— his ears twitching in embarrassment.

“There is something wrong with my dick,” he gets out through gritted teeth.

He looks up— because even though he desperately doesn’t want to see their reactions, he also really does because he needs help— but his gaze is immediately drawn to the slow, mischievous shit-eating grin that’s stretching at his brother’s lips. Lo’ak only has enough time to narrow his eyes before the asshole is speaking up.

“It’s tiny, isn’t it?”

Kiri has to physically reach up and stifle her laughter behind her hands as fast as she possibly can.

Lo’ak doesn’t bother to hold in the brief hiss their antics elicits from him.

And their mom doesn’t seem to find it as funny as they do either because she turns and Kiri abruptly schools her face into an impassive expression, dropping her hands to her hips— and she’s scarily good at doing that— but Neteyam is an idiot and so he completely deserves the sharp slap their mom delivers to the back of his big-ass head. Not that it does much because the asshole just continues chuckling, even as he rubs at the sore spot afterwards.

Tuk is too young to really understand what they’re teasing Lo’ak about and so she’s kind of just watching everyone with an openly curious look on her face.

Their dad just seems kind of disgruntled. And maybe a bit relieved. Like he’d expected something much worse. Like he’d expected to find actual danger inside Lo’ak’s snonivi. Like he’d thought he might have to kill something or someone tonight.

Lo’ak scowls.

He can’t really help but feel slightly offended that something being seriously wrong with his genitals is apparently not serious enough to warrant any immediate distress from his parents.

“There’s like… a— a round thing!” Lo’ak tries to explain, bobbing his head in an attempt to gesture down at his groin. “At the base. And it— it fucking hurts.”

His mom turns back to him with a sharp dismissive, “Tsk,” a human habit she’d definitely picked up from his dad over the years.

“Language, Lo’ak,” she reminds him pointedly. Which is ridiculous because Lo’ak swears all the time— it’s another one of those inherently human habits that he and Neteyam picked up from their dad.

Thankfully, it seems that Lo’ak’s words have achieved what he’d wanted— no, needed.

His dad’s face is blanching, his eyes wide, and it looks like there’s a million thoughts running through the man’s head at light speed.

Well, finally, some concern at last.

The thing at the base of Lo’ak’s dick throbs again— painfully— and he whines softly, doing his best to muffle the sound between clenched teeth as he wraps his tail around his own waist in a useless attempt to self-soothe.

His mother’s face clouds over with something that’s halfway between worry and perplexity and then, she glances down at her mate’s face and her eyes widen.

“Ma Jake,” she inquires softly, moving to crouch beside him. “What is wrong?”

Dad doesn’t say anything. He’s just… frozen. His eyes still moving rapidly like he’s one of those computers that the humans have up in the lab at High Camp, processing data faster than any organic creature ever could.

And Mom does not like his silence.

“Jake Sully,” she calls sharply, reaching up to mercilessly tug at one of his ears. “What is happening to our son?”

His dad winces, gasping out a soft curse. Then he kind of just falls over, let’s himself tip backwards until he’s sitting sprawled on the ground— his back pressed firmly to Neteyam’s legs.

“He’s presenting,” his dad reveals, the pitch of his voice completely monotonous— like he’s in shock. “I— I don’t… I didn’t think—”

The man cuts off his own rambling and abruptly turns to his mate, reaching out in a panic to pull her hands into his as he stares up at her with a strangely desperate look on his face. A look that clearly conveys guilt.

Their mom stills.

“Like you?” she inquires, her gaze dropping to the front of his dad’s loincloth for a split-second. And when his dad does nothing but hang his head in despair and nod, she shuffles forward and pulls his face into the soft skin of her belly.

Then she looks over at Lo’ak and Lo’ak unexpectedly jerks back.

Because there’s pity in his mother’s eyes as she looks at him.

Lo’ak feels like he’s been slapped in the face.

The lump at the base of his dick pulses again, sending sharp pain skittering along his legs and up his back again and Lo’ak’s eyes fill with tears.

And not only on account of the pain, but because it coincides with the moment his dad speaks again.

“He’s even more human than we thought.”

#loak x spider #loak sully #miles spider socorro #spider socorro #avatar fandom #avatar cameron #avatar the way of water

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