#because it shouldn't be
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"Spanking does harm kids" I literally feel violent when I'm angry like???
#and I can say there have been times where it about got the best of me in the past#because what was learned?#if you're frustrated catch em quick#that shit bothers me if the intrusive thought pops up#because it shouldn't be#and those who instilled it don't want to acknowledge it#it shouldn't be#afro witch#black spirituality#witchblr#witch of color#witches of color#generational trauma#generational abuse
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Please, if you can, take a moment to read and share this because I feel like I'm screaming underwater.
NPD (Narcissistic Personality Disorder) stigma is rampant right now, and seems to be getting progressively worse. Everyone is using it as a buzzword in the worst ways possible, spreading misinformation and hatred against a real disorder.
I could go on a long time about how this happened, why it's factually incorrect (and what the disorder actually IS), why it's harmful, and the changes I'd like to see. But to keep this concise, I'll simply link to a few posts under the cut for further reading.
The point of this post is a plea. Please help stop the spread of stigma. Even in mental health communities, even around others with personality disorders, in neurodivergent "safe" spaces, other communities I thought people would be supportive in (e.g. trans support groups, progressive spaces in general), it keeps coming up. So I'm willing to bet that a lot of people on this site need to see this.
Because it's so hard to exist in this world.
My disorder already makes me feel as if I'm worthless and unlovable, like there's something inherently wrong and damaged about me. And it's so much harder to fight that and heal when my daily life consists of:
Laughing and spending time with my friends, doing my utmost best to connect and stay present and focused on them, trying to let my guards down and be real and believe I'm lovable- when suddenly they throw out the word "narcissist" to describe horrible people or someone they hate, or the conversation turns to how evil "people with narcissistic personality disorder" are. (Seriously, you don't know which of your friends might have NPD and feels like shit when you say those things & now knows that you'd hate them if you knew.)
Trying to look up "mental health positivity for people with npd", "mental health positivity cluster bs", only to find a) none of that, and b) more of the same old vile shit that makes me feel terrible about myself.
Having a hard time (which is constant at this point) and trying to look up resources for myself, only to again, find the same stigma. And no resources.
Not having any clue how to help myself, because even the mental health field is spitting so much vitriol at people with DISORDERS (who they're supposed to be helping!) that there's no solid research or therapy programs for people like me.
Losing close friends when they find out, despite us having had a good relationship before, and them KNOWING me and knowing that I'm not like the trending image of pwNPD. Because now they only see me through the lens of stigma and misinformation.
Hearing the same stigma come up literally wherever I go. Clubs. Meetings. Any online space. At the bus stop. At the mall. At a restaurant. At work. Buzzword of the year that everyone loooves loudly throwing around with their friends or over the phone. Feels awesome for me, makes my day so much better/s
I could go on for a long time, but I'm scared no one will read/rb this if it gets too much longer.
So please. Stop using the word "narcissist" as a synonym for "abusive".
Stop bringing up people you hate who you believe to have NPD because of a stigmatizing article full of misinformation whenever someone with actual NPD opens their mouth. (Imagine if people did that with any other disorder! "Hey, I'm autistic." "Oh... my old roommate screamed at me whenever I made noise around him, and didn't understand my needs, which seems like sensory overload and difficulty with social cues. He was definitely autistic. But as long as you're self-aware and always restraining your innate desire to be an abusive asshole, you're okay I guess, maybe." ...See how offensive and ignorant that is?)
Stop preventing healthcare for people with a disorder just because it's trendy to use us as a scapegoat.
If you got this far, thank you for reading, and please share this if you can. Further reading is under the cut.
NPD Criteria, re-written by someone who actually has NPD
Stigma in the DSM
Common perception of the DSM criteria vs how someone may actually experience them (Keep in mind that this is the way I personally experience these symptoms, and that presentation can vary a lot between individuals)
"Idk, the stigma is right though, because I've known a lot of people with NPD who are jerks, so I'm going to continue to support the blockage of treatment for this condition."
(All of these were written by me, because I didn't want to link to other folks' posts without permission, but if you want to add your own links in reblogs or replies please feel free <3)
#actuallynpd#signal boost#actuallyautistic#mental health awareness#narcissistic personality disorder#people also need to realize that mental health professionals aren't immune from bias#(it really shouldn't come as a shock that the mental health field has a longstanding pattern of misunderstanding and mistreating ppl who ar#mentally ill or otherwise ND)#the first therapist i brought up NPD to like. literally pulled out the DSM bc she could barely remember the criteria. then said that there'#no way I have it because I have low self-esteem lmaoooooo#anyway throwback to being at work and chatting with a co-worker. and the conversation turning to mental health. and him saying that#he tries to stay informed and be aware and supportive of mental health conditions & that he doesn't want to be ignorant or spread harmful#misinformation. and then i mentioned that i do a lot of research into mental health stuff and i listed a bunch of things. which included#several personality disorders. one of which was NPD.#and after listening to my whole ass list he zeroed in on the NPD and immediately started talking about how narcissists are abusive and#he knew someone who had NPD and how the person who had it had an addiction and died from the addiction in a horrible way and he#was glad he did#fun times#or when i decided to be vulnerable and talk abt my self-criticism/self-hatred bc i knew my friends also struggled w that and i wanted to#support them by sharing my own coping methods. and they both(separately!) started picking and prodding at my npd through the lens of stigma#bc i'd recently opened up to them abt having it. they recognized self-hatred as a symptom and still jumped on me for it. despite me#trying to share hurt vulnerable parts of myself to help them and connect with them.#again..... fun times
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This might seem like an "old man yells at cloud" situation, but it's just wild growing up and being told how dangerous distracted driving is - how, at highway speeds, you can traverse the length of a football field (100 yards, 91 meters) in a matter of seconds - how one split second sending a text while driving could result in a potential fatal crash, and then getting on the road as a driver and being surrounded by billboards. Their entire purpose is to catch one's attention, so they're lining major roads, which tend to be highways. How is it that you're told how important it is to never be distracted while driving, but still being advertised to?
At best, this type of advertising is an eyesore to pedestrians and motorists and a general waste of electricity to light it, and at worst, it is an active danger considering they are there to advertise and therefore, must catch people's attention.
I'm not even against advertising in theory, but this particular mode bothers me so much and I hate how pervasive it is - especially in large cities or highways.
#politics#i don't know much about são paulo banning marketing billboards but on paper i want that here in the USA#as a motorist it at best just makes me more anxious driving in those larger cities because i want to FOCUS ON THE ROAD#and passing 5000 billboards per mile isn't helping actually!#i've gotten good at filtering that out of my FOV but it's still fucking exhausting lol#i especially hate those modern electric billboards. despise them actually#i am aware that advertising is a critical aspect to business management in some cases...#...but it shouldn't risk the safety of the populous for you to advertise to them and i see things like billboards as risking safety...#...i feel similarly about online advertising in that so much of it risks internet user's safety...#...such as flashing ads online which risk triggering epileptic seizures in light/photo-sensitive folks#distracted driving (texting): NO >:( || distracted driving (being advertised to): YAYYYY :D#i've been driving on my own for a few years now and i've been thinking about this for ENTIRELY too long
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#Polls#Menstruation#Because the other poll has half of the respondents on painkillers#And gynaecologists have gone 'a little pain is normal' while my physical therapist went 'you shouldn't be in any pain'#And the endo number is supposedly 1 in 10#For science tumblr!
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Nikolai as a plague doctor
#iv'e decided fyodor shouldn't be the only ancient one bc where is the fun in that :D#he's also more bird#because more bird == more fun#plague doctor#bsd#bungou stray dogs#bsd fanart#bsd garlic#bungo stray dogs fanart#bsd nikolai#fanart#nikolai gogol#my art#bungo stray dogs#bungo sd#nikolai bsd
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Okay but genuinely why is the no fly list a USA government secret. Shouldn't it be public knowledge anyways? Genuinely who benefits from keeping it secret.
#someone explain this to me like i'm five please#esp because you can get banned from flying if your name is SIMILAR to one on the no fly list so shouldn't they give advance warning#that way you can show up with the proper paperwork???
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I just want to keep my job even though I don't know how to make memes. Buy our coffee. We've got holiday gifts for the coffee lover in your life.
Awesome Coffee is different because 1. we source our beans directly from small farmers collectives, 2. it's better and fresher than grocery store coffee, and 3. ALL of our profit goes to fight maternal and child mortality in impoverished communities, whereas almost all other coffee makes rich people richer, which is the dumbest thing that can be done with coffee (or other forms of wealth).
#coffee company#i am an unpaid intern#because otherwise some of our profit would go to me#and I don't need it and shouldn't have it#buy our coffee#so I don't get replaced by someone who knows memeology#god I wish I could make better memes#I see young people memes and I feel so envious#not of their youth which is overrated but of their memetic creativity
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dream from several days ago
#dream diary#artists on tumblr#flotsam diaries#sequential#...I said I was gonna sleep but that obviously didn't happen HAHA#anyways really happy that I was able to get the colors/vibes I wanted down fjhkgj :'D#a lot of nitpicking and adjusting hahah#also kororon/eve was on blast for the majority of drawing this hghhjf#alright good night/morning/something yall#edit: was thinking more and the feeling I wanted to get across I guess is like when someone voluntarily#reaches out to touch me/casually/platonically and it's like a 'you're touching me of your own free will??? o H'#because when I was growing up had a parent who wasn't physically affectionate/would kinda brush me off#and that uhhhh kinda internalized as I'm gross and therefore shouldn't touch other people#(lmao took covid lockdown and very good friends to basically destroy that feeling yay)#anYWAYS had feelings but didn't quite know how to verbalize it hahah
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in all honesty i feel there shouldn't be any christmas celebrations at all until palestine is free
#and i don't mean until ceasfire. i mean until it's free.#pope shenouda was 100% right when he banned his coptic people from going on pilgrimage to jerusalem so long as it's occupied by israel#because he said 1- we shouldn't be able to go there while palestinian christians and muslims are banned from going to their holy sites#and 2- while jerusalem is occupied all ''tourism money'' it gets goes to israel which pours into the zionist war machine#he was absolutely right to ban the pilgrimages and to establish strong coptic/palestinian solidarity#and i can't help but feel like tawadros is falling short of the bar that shenouda set#he made a statement on behalf of copts denouncing israel and supporting palestine which is. nice. but he can do more.#i sincerely hope he imposes a ban on celebrations at least this year. at least.
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Help me settle a debate with my friends! If it seems difficult to choose that's normal, we've already dealt with the animals that are easy to sort (e.g. goats and mice are the two extremes on the spectrum of animal civility) and these are the more dicey choices that are on a similar level of perceived politeness.
#tbh i think the giraffe shouldn't be in there. they don't look particularly affable to me more like they mind their own business at best#but i think i'm influenced by the arsehole giraffe character from that kimba cartoon when i was a kid#ok i just googled it because i didn't want to badmouth a giraffe in case i remembered wrong#and learnt that raff the giraffe ''died from his injuries and from dehydration''#i feel terrible for speaking ill of the dead. please don't let that influence your vote though
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inspired by the last dany chapter in a dance with dragons
the empress card for twitter user toadpeee tarot deck. Big thanks to her for her patience with me
#a song of ice and fire#asoiaf#my art#adwd#daenerys targaryen#drogon#a dance with dragons#valyrian scrolls#valyrianscrolls#asoiaf art#house targaryen#i feel like she is not tattered enough#that hair suits her too much my bad#don't look too closely on ...anything#i feel like this card represents the star theme much better#but it's probably because she does seem a lot like a star to me#idk i think i shouldn't speculate on it
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you know you're in a cishet male gamer discord when you see stuff like this without pushback in comment to people being mad or baffled by a gacha girl having a complete joke of proportions 🫡🫡🫡
#definitely shouldn't check servers im in just after waking up cause i forgot how much of a cognitohazard they are now#between this server having 'progressive but not TOO progressive' gamers (aka dont be an annoying queer)#and the other having ppl way too casually racist#it really is something to see servers i joined years ago just shifting rightward and no one else finds it weird#basically a ghost now in those places because damn#and dont tell me i should speak up because wtf am i supposed to do if im literally the only person that would comment on this#qq posts
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Basically, my philosophy around disability fakers is: I would rather a thousand people fake a disability than have one disabled person suffer without care, aids, compassion, or any help.
#disability#disability advocacy#and there's a difference not many people seem to recognize between faking and realizing you don't have [x] problem...#...such as realizing you don't have [x] disorder because it is instead [y] disorder...#...or you haven't completely understood your care needs/your symptoms/what helps you...#...and some people see ANY change in your understanding of your disability as proof of maliciously faking...#...when i suppose in my personal experience people don't *maliciously* fake disability...#...i'm not saying it could never happen but that i don't think it's the *only* thing motivating people called fakers#i just think (like most everything) this is complex and nuanced because it's a *human* experience#like for me personally i /know/ i still have a lot to learn about my disabilities...#...like... i realized recently that my hands shouldn't be in AGONY when warm water is ran over them when it's SLIGHTLY cold inside or out...#...and i realized that i likely have a Noticable limb difference that needs checking out. does this sound like i'm faking...#...or that maybe i just didn't really explore my own needs and body because of a variety of factors?#i can assure you it is because i haven't really thought before about how i deserved to understand how to best help myself
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'Asexuals are not pure, clueless and innocent'
Yes, exactly!
'Because they all love smut and are obsessed with it'
FOR THE LOVE OF-
#have you considered that some asexuals do in fact hate sex#have you considered sex repulsed people are normal#have you considered we shouldn't be excluded just because you think being obsessed with sex is the norm#have you considered you're literally what you're pretending to fight against#asexuality#asexual#ace#sex repulsed
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here's the scene i've mentioned before where nemesis and melinoë talk about hypnos, for those who wanted to see it!
#hades 2#hades game#had to comb through my recording of my playthrough to get it. but it's worth it#there's another scene where nemesis says melinoë shouldn't talk to him because he's not listening#to which she replies that hypnos for sure must have been sensing her thoughts and emotions even in sleep#and nemesis is like oh yeah. getting a feel for other people's thoughts and emotions is sooo hypnos. lol. lmao even#i can't wait for the reveal i want to see how melinoë will react#i might make a compilation of hypnos related scenes for those of you who are also weirdly into the little guy like i am
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Someone needs to do an analysis on the way the Kung Fu Panda movies use old-fashioned vs. modern language ("Panda we meet at last"/"Hey how's it going") and old-fashioned vs. modern settings (forbidden-city-esque palaces/modern-ish Chinese restaurant) to indicate class differences in their characters, and how those class differences create underlying tensions and misunderstandings.
#This is neither a criticism nor a compliment of that artistic choice#I just think it's really interesting#Like even looking at the Five:#Tigress talks in an older style than the others because she was mainly raised at the Jade Palace#While Mantis talks like Joe-schmo off the street because he *was* a streetfighter and an ordinary guy#Shifu and even Tai Lung talk like they're from an old-fashioned novel or kung fu movie#Po talks like a modern guy you'd meet working in a twenty-first century family restaurant#Part of Tigress's initial disdain for him in the first movie is clearly because she considers him to be low-class/a commoner#(And therefore an intruder into the world of the Jade Palace and the rest of the Kung Fu masters which appears to be semi-noble).#Shen looks genuinely off-put and disgusted when he has to respond to Po's greeting with a “...hey.”#And when Po wants to appear more legitimate as a warrior he adopts a more “legendary”/old-fashioned way of speaking.#In the aesthetic language of KFP old fashioned=noble/upper class and modern=common/lower class.#This translates entirely naturally—I think especially to an American audience—but it is wild once you notice it#Because you realize: “Hang on—shouldn't *all* these characters be talking like they're living in the medieval era?”#“And what does it mean that they're not? What is the movie attempting to convey with this—probably entirely subconscious—artistic choice?”#kung fu panda
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