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luveline · 6 months

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hiiii jade!!!! could i please request something with peter with reader who’s maybe put on some weight recently and is insecure about it?? (totally not self indulgent at all) i totally get it if you’re not comfortable writing that stuff though so no pressure

hi lovely! ty for requesting. fem, 1k

cw for negative weight talk/ weight gain

Everybody gains weight during the holidays, you think, tracing your figure in the mirror. Though it's not strictly holiday season yet, it's edging toward the end of the year. Maybe my new year's resolution should be losing a few pounds.

There's a thunk of the bedroom window being yanked open and footsteps across the floor. You tense until your hear Peter panting for breath, likely having swung to you at high speed, or fresh from a fight with an usurped criminal.

You rush back into your t-shirt, knowing exactly what path he'll walk. He barrels into the bathroom, sees you at the mirror and smiles so wide his cheeks look fit to burst. "Hey," he says, peeling the suit off and exposing his boxers to you without shame, "hey hey hey. Can I persuade you in with me?" He nods toward the shower.

"Not this time, Pete."

"Too bad," he laments.

You look away as he strips out of his underwear. The shower turns on and he takes you by the hips to move you out of his way with a murmured apology, near lost to the drum of the spray. Peter has moments where he doesn't know his own strength, but the majority of the time he treats you like you're something precious.

"Stay in here!" he demands as he pulls the curtain shut.

"I'm not going anywhere." You close the toilet and sit on the lid. "Tough day protecting the people?"

"Apart from tripping into a deceptively large pothole, it was fine. Why won't you come in here with me? I wanna rub your shoulders."

"You want me to wash your hair."

"Exactly. So get naked and get in here. Don't make me beg."

You really don't want to, and you're not going to, but it's not a big problem. Peter doesn't truly mind, he just loves you. "What do you mean, deceptively big? Like, knee height? Higher?"

"Mid thigh, I'd say. The people of New York are never gonna let me live it down. One guy was recording me and said he was gonna put it on YouTube for the ad money."

"Anything else?"

He gives you the rundown, describing what perps he faced and an older man he helped use an ATM machine. You hum distractedly, pinching at the fat where it spreads on your thigh, sitting down as you are.

He sticks his face through the curtain gap, hair slicked to his cheeks. "What're you doing?"

"You told me to stay, so I'm staying."

He's nervous for a split second, glancing back into the shower as though there's an answer there waiting for him before angling himself toward you fully, his naked chest dripping and shining in the bathroom light. "Okay, fine, we need to talk about something. But I want you to know that you forced my hand here. Okay?"

"Okay." You nibble the inside of your lip, used to his theatrics. "What have I done?"

"It's not something you've done. It's something you are. I can't even say it. I," —he pulls the curtain in front of his face, moves it aside again– "just need to tell you. Lately it's like you don't even realise how beautiful you are and I'm tired of it. You're radiant. Like, glowing."

Your recent internal debate must show on your face, that doubt, because he gives you a steadying smile. "Really, really beautiful," he says more seriously.

It's easy to smile at him. "Thank you, Pete." You scoop his suit off of the floor. "I'll go scrub the tetanus out of this in the kitchen sink."

"Wait–"

He can't just get out with suds in his hair, giving you the perfect escape plan. You have ten minutes to yourself filling the sink with soapy water and steeping the fabric before he's out of the bedroom in pyjamas, trousers tucked into his socks and hair damp from ferocious towel scrubbing. "You're such a– such a– thing," he decides. "I'm telling you you're beautiful and you walk off so you don't have to hear it? What's wrong with you?" His voice slips into a kinder register. "You do know you're pretty, right? I'm not just saying it to say it."

"I'm just feeling icky," you confide.

"About what?"

You want to tell him, you find. "You know how I've gained weight?"

He doesn't need any more explanation. Peter knows you've gained weight, you've mentioned it to him, and it's visual, and he can likely tell whenever he decides to flex his strength. "What, and you think that makes you less pretty?" He puts a damp hand behind your neck to bring you forward. "Seriously?"

"Yeah, a little."

He kisses you. His nose bumps your nose, his lips crushed to your as he holds you in place. Despite this, it isn't an overly rough connection. It's definitely not shy. "You're beautiful," he says in the space between your lips.

"It doesn't suit me–"

"It does. It really fucking suits you. Have you seen yourself? You couldn't look better."

"Even when I was thinner?"

"You look just as perfect then as you did now." His intensity fades and he encourages you back enough to see your face, his thumb rubbing a short line into your neck. His brows are furrowed, dark eyes darker for it. "Weight isn't a factor."

"No, but you have to say that."

"I don't. Not really. I'm sure there are a thousand shitty guys who'd tell you something different, but I'm not– I love you, the whole you. I like you like this." He grins. "Which should be obvious."

You tsk at him, to his delight, his laughter boyish as he buries his face in your neck with a hug, kissing a messy circle up and into the soft line of your jaw. You trap him there without thinking, chin hooked down, squirming as he blows hot air into your skin.

"I've been putting it on too," he says. "It's happy weight."

"It's not happy weight for you, Pete, it's just more muscle."

"It makes you happy, doesn't it?" he jokes, smiling and kissing and hugging you all at once. "Just like it does on you for me."

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chuuyasheaven · 6 months

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"Outsmartin' failed"— Fyodor & Dazai

"You have been having the weirdest dreams lately. Two handsome men, which were probably not human, have been appearing in your dreams a lot. In those dreams, they always try to seduce you. Since this started to worry you, you tried to just stay awake, but they were standing in front of you the next second. Was this a hallucination or real?"

Tags: Fyodor Dostoevsky, Dazai Osamu / afab! Reader, threesome, rough sex?, incubus! Fyozai, overstimulation, does this count as monster fucking?, idfk what's going on, oral sex (bj's and pussy eating), fingering, teasing, praising, pet names?, might contain grammar errors, discontinued and short, rushed probably, etc.

Notes: I want 2 experience this so badly tho idrk, also, this is gonna be left on Cliffhanger since I'm VERY busy atm . .

You're not sure if you're hallucinating or if this is actually happening, but either, this seemed to be better than any other dream, so why did you try to avoid it again? Oh, right, two demons, you're not really sure, kept appearing in your dreams. Not gonna lie, but they were attractive, which helped with their seductive attitude. Since it was kinda odd to you, you tried to stay awake to see what happens, which was one of the best mistakes you made that night. Because, they were suddenly in front of you, and the next thing you know they had you on your fours. .

On your fours, one dick in your mouth and fingers in your cunt. The brunette, Dazai, was the one fingering you. The black haired, Fyodor, was the one you were sucking off. And they were anything but gentle. Fyodor was grabbing your hair, forcing himself to go deeper into your throat, Dazai was behind you fingering you good. You tried to concentrate, you really did, but this was way to much to handle. "Awe, look at you, already drooling are we?", Fyodor recalled, drool rolling down past your lips. Your back was arching when Dazai found that one spot, you moaned around Fyodor's cock, leaving vibrations. As Fyodor was getting closer, you were seconds away from cumming with the way Dazai was fingering. Fyodor trusted into your mouth a couple times before cumming in your mouth. "Be a good girl and swallow,", he told you, you listened to Fyodor and did as he told you to. When Fyodor pulled out, there was some cum rolling down your lips, he wiped it away. "We can't let this go to waste, dear.", Fyodor held his finger in front of you with a little of his cum on it. You stuck out your tongue to lick it clean, holding eye contact with him as you did.

"Good girl.", you let his finger out of your mouth when Dazai hit that spot again, perfectly this time. Dazai was getting more aggressive with it, before you came all on his fingers almost screaming. You think that everything? Wrong, think again. They switched, Fyodor was behind you now, while Dazai was in front of you. Your breath hitched when Fyodor's tongue made it's way inside your cunt. You let your head sink at the pleasure, this did feel better than Dazai's fingers. Dazai grabbed your chin with his one hand, his eyes looking at you seductively. "Keep your eyes on me, 'donna, I have another job for you.", Dazai held up the fingers the pleasured you with, suggesting for you to lick them clean like you did with Fyodor. You fluttered your eyes close as you stuck out your tongue again, licking off your own cum, while Dazai was smirking at you shamelessly. Looking up to him to look at him innocently made him hard, what made him even harder was your moans those were caused by his partner. When your done, Dazai crouched to be on your level.

"Feels good, doesn't it?", he asked while staring into your eyes waiting for a response. Nodding, Dazai looked at you as if he expected words. "Y–yeah.", your flushed face amusing him. Dazai neared your lips until he was inches away. "You're so cute, y'know?", Dazai was kissing you before you could do anything else. He was kissing you roughly, his tongue now joining in, you moaned into the kiss while Fyodor found the spot with his tongue. Dazai pulled you closer, full on making out with you now, you were getting close to your second climax. Separating from the kiss for air, you were drooling again. "What, do I kiss that good?", he stood up with a smirk. "Are you done?", Dazai asked the black haired male. "Almost, as it seems,", Fyodor stated while his words sent vibrations into your cunt, which resulted into your second orgasm. Fyodor was making his way back to Dazai, looking down onto you with Dazai.

"—Who do you want to go first, me or Fyodor?"

I'm really sorry abt this, guys

#Rei's Kinktober 2023 !! ❤️#dazai smut #dazai x reader #bsd dazai #osamu dazai smut #dazai osamu #bungou stray dogs dazai #bsd smut #bungo stray dogs smut #bungo stray dogs fyodor #bsd fyodor #fyodor dostoevsky #fyodor smut #fyodor dostoyevsky bsd #bungou stray dogs fyodor

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tcfactory · 4 months

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I should be writing something else, but it requires more brain juice than what I have atm, so what if cute moshang thing where Mobei-jun has to learn music as part of his training as a prince (yes, even in the demon realm) so he practices in Qinghua's living room when SQH is away on head disciple/peak lord stuff.

Then, without ever meeting them face-to-face, he finds kinship with the senior disciples/hall masters on An Ding who do music as a hobby (they are burning to know who Shang Qinghua's shy boyfriend is, like, it has to be serious if SQH keeps sneaking the guy onto the peak, right?) Has a courting related epiphany when Qinghua uses his limited free time to (re)learn an instrument just to play music with him.

Then he sort of befriends someone who he assumes is one of the hall masters by talking to him/playing music together through a window opened just a crack so they can't see each other. Sorts out a misunderstanding by talking about his childhood trauma and finding just the right way to explain that sometimes the words just refuse to be said, no matter how much someone wants to say them. And if the other person keeps trying to reach out then the immortal master should try reaching back, if he can bear it, and see what happens.

Then there's this whole upset where Shen Qingqiu wants the An Ding hobby musicians to do a concert for the whole sect to show people that not being on the scholar peak is no reason to be uncreative brutes, Liu-shidi, and to shut up some of his own disciples who are rich brats and can't imagine people from different backgrounds outdoing them in the arts - and he wants Shang-shidi's secret definitely-a-rogue-cultivator boyfriend there to perform, that's not optional, he wants to meet the man who fixed his relationship with Qi-ge face to face.

Shang Qinghua does a whole lot of running around trying to hide it that Mobei-jun is a whole ass higher demon, but either he can't find anything in time or they decide not to use it in the end because you know what? Yue Qingyuan and Shen Qingqiu both owe Mobei sooo much for sorting them out and Qinghua is tired of having to hide his boyfriend. So when they all walk out to take their spots in the orchestra there's a big buff ice demon in the lineup like that's normal, the sect leader has Liu Qingge in a headlock and it all goes off without a hitch. By the time Luo Binghe comes to disciple selection, there's an alliance with the northern demons and a very annoying demon hall master at Shen Qingqiu's side who almost falls off the cliff because that boy, the fluffy one, he thinks that's his son!! So Binghe gets the cringiest dad in the realm and he couldn't be happier, honestly.

Or basically: the one where there's no system, but instead there's music and it makes everything better.

#svsss #mobei-jun #shang qinghua #moshang #I'm actually writing this rn so mb that I gave away the twist #well it's not much of a twist bc I plan to have the second half written from SQQ's pov #do I know enough about actual music to write this fic? no #is that stopping me at all? also no #tc writes

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dilfguzzler · 8 months

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john price nsfw headcanons!

i'm currently hyperfixated on john price and want to write more for him. i always like to do an nsfw alphabet to get a feel for the character in my little bird brain

enjoy! open to requests (price and ghost only atm)

f!reader

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

his form of aftercare is definitely quality time. he will have just obliterated you, your mind is in outer fucking space. he'll pull you on top of him, not even cleaning you up yet, just wanting to give you time to come back to yourself.

sometimes the feelings are so much and you'll be crying, just feeling the feels and he'll stroke your back, murmuring how good you were for him, how you're his best girl. once you're fully back to your right mind, he'll get you some water, clean you up and cuddle you until you have a sleep

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

john price is an ass man. nothing else to be said.

he likes his hands. out in the field they cause damage and destruction. but they also keep you safe. they're also the hands that can make you scream and cry in pleasure. he also knows that you have a slight hand kink, so that's a bonus.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

INSIDE. the only time mr. breeding kink will ever not cum in your cunt is if he's coming in your mouth.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

he wants to share you. wants to watch you be fucked by his boys while he watches. wants to place you in any position he wants like he's conducting his own porn shoot. he doesn't know if his possessive streak would ever actually let this happen though.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

this man has been around. hoowee he knows exactly what he's doing, knows things about your body that you didn't even now

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

honestly, he's up for pretty much anything. he likes to be in control so even if you're riding him, be sure he's the one really in control.

he loves missionary, seeing your face, and command you to keep your eyes open and on him. he can get some real power behind his thrusts in missionary too, so much that you're limping a bit for a few days after.

also, doggy. see B, ass-man

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

definitely more serious. like he might crack a dry-ass dad joke, but he takes his fucking seriously.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

this man is HAIRY. he keeps it under control but he's a very hairy dude

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

this one is a tricky one because i definitely think he has two sides.

one side is the feral, dominant man who just wants to FUCK.

the other is this old-fashioned guy, definitely still dominant, who wants to be romantic and charm the pants off you.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

over his years in the army and the SAS, he has gotten pretty close with his hand. the only difference now when he's away, he has some abso-fucking-lutely delightful polaroids of you. he particularly loves the ones you sneak into his pockets before he leaves. those are always a nice surprise.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

this man is a kinky old boy. as mentioned before he is mr. breeding kink. defo daddy kink vibes although i cant decide if he likes to be called daddy or sir more. i think he has certain moods for each.

like sometimes he's in the mood to wreck you and wants your total obedience, this is when he likes to be sir.

sometimes he feels a little bit softer and wants you to be his good girl, and is willing to allow you a little bit of leeway and let you mess around a bit more or whatever

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

he's a traditional guy. he likes to take you in bed as it's easiest (and god, does he hate to admit it, but his back can't really take anywhere else anymore)

he loves to take you soft and slow on the couch though.

oh, and he'll never forget you sitting on his lap for 2 hours straight, his cock buried to the hilt inside you. he was so proud of you for your minimal squirming and whining.

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

simply, you. you literally just wake up in the morning beside him and he wants to fuck you into the middle of next week.

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

i don't think he'd ever want to hurt you. like he's not against a bit of slapping, bruising you and being rough but he's always very controlled and knows what he's doing. he would never want to genuinely, seriously hurt you.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

he's a certified pussy eater, i know it. the beard adds so much. but when he eats you out, he's running on his time, he won't stop after one, two, three times. he goes until his jaw hurts.

and while he loves eating you out. fuck it if he doesn't love your mouth on his cock. sometimes he'll just leave you there while he watches the match and smokes a cigar. it's his favourite way to relax.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

as i said above, i think he definitely has two moods. so it depends

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

he's a busy chap, so yeah he's up for quickies. it's not his favourite of course but sometimes he just needs to be inside you, and he'll take what he can get.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

he's up for experimenting. but he will never put your safety at risk. also, his job requires a certain level of discretion so he can't be doing anything that could jeopardise that.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

he hates to think about it, but he can't go like he could in his 20s. he can last ages but he needs a bit more time between rounds. but that doesn't mean there's no time for fun in while he's regrouping himself.

if he's feeling mean, he'll pull out your toy collection and use all sorts of fun stuff on you, not giving you a chance to recover

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

yes. you have a toy box full of all sorts of goodies. he loves scouring the internet looking for different things he can use on you

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

he does NOT like to be teased. but he will tease you omg.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

he's grunter lol. he'll say some nasty, sweet things to you.

although, you'll never forget the time you made him almost squeal when you did something with your hips while riding him. that was fun

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

he's kind of a meanie sometimes and he's so glad you love it and love his grumpy side. he never thought he'd find someone he'd align with so well, not only sexually, but in every other way too.

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

6.5in, uncut, thick but not too thick y'know, kind of curves upwards

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

not as high as it once was. he loves to fuck but he's also 100% content to sit and watch some shite tv with you or watch you make dinner or some other domestic stuff

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

won't fall asleep until he knows you're happy and fully back to yourself. he's also gotten into the habit of needing a cigar after sex. he can't sleep until he ticks certain boxes

#john price #john price x reader #john price x you #john price x fem reader #captain john price #cod mw x reader #captain price #john price smut #call of duty #cod #cod mw2 #price x reader

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marvelsswansong · 2 years

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summary: Steve is awfully protective over you. Everyone thinks it's very sweet and cute. But it's also quite inconvenient at times.

tags: tooth rotting fluff, short blurb again, Steve x fem!reader, poor Robin trying to speak logic into Steve's love-confused mind, Nancy being a supportive queen, Eddie being a sassy icon as always

☆ word count: 785 ☆

a/n: soft!dom/sweet!protective bfs >>> all else. Since my mental health is still shit and I don't have any WIPS atm - plz enjoy this short Steve-centric fluff fic x

⚠️ 𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠: 𝐈 𝐝𝐨 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐠𝐢𝐯𝐞 𝐚𝐧𝐲𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐦𝐢𝐬𝐬𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐭𝐨 𝐜𝐨𝐩𝐲, 𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐧𝐬𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝐨𝐫 𝐫𝐞𝐩𝐮𝐫𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐞 𝐚𝐧𝐲 𝐨𝐟 𝐦𝐲 𝐰𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐧 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐤𝐬 𝐭𝐨 𝐚𝐧𝐲 𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐩𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐦 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐟𝐢𝐫𝐬𝐭 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐮𝐥𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐦𝐞.⚠️

"What happened?"

Steve's quick to pull your face into his hands, cupping your face gently as his eyes frantically scan your face for any visible injuries. All it takes is seeing a slight cut to your upper knee and he's feral, pushing you down onto his couch as Robin rolls her eyes from the background.

"I'm fine too, thanks." Robin sarcastically adds, excusing herself to the kitchen to grab a glass of water.

"We were just hiking, Stevie." you assure your boyfriend, giggling. But Steve's not having any of it, rolling up his sleeves as he retrieves a first aid box from the top shelf in his living room.

"You gotta be careful, bunny. You could've gotten a deeper cut, or tripped and hit your head on a rock, or slipped and twist your ankle on a wet patch of grass-" Steve lists them off one by one, all the whilst pulling off a band aid and gingerly playing it over your wound. You chuckle at his antics, your left hand smoothing his hair over as Robin yells from the kitchen once more.

"Again, I WAS THERE and SHE WAS FINE!"

Steve glares at his best friend from the floor, though he can't quite see her from this distance.

"I was safe, Steve." you assure him, pulling a soft sigh from his chapped lips.

"I know, I just... I hate not being around to be able to protect you." Steve mumbles against your shoulder, pressing a gentle kiss on to the bare skin. His comment makes warmth blossom across your torso, electricity dancing up your spine.

"It's fine, I'm fine, you don't have to worry."

Steve knows that, logically. That you're a fully grown adult, capable of taking care of yourself. Hell, he's seen you stab a Russian scientist in the leg and stomp demonic bats to death. And yet he can't help but worry for you endlessly, yearning to keep you away from any sembelance of danger.

Walking alongside the road? His arm wraps around your waist and pushes you to the other side, facing you away from the cars.

Carrying heavy bags of grocercies? Not with Steve. He downright refuses to let you carry anything heavy, insisting that you'll pull a muscle or drop it and injure yourself.

Entering a crowded area? Steve laces his fingers with yours and makes a point to always keep you behind him, afraid to lose you in the mass of peoples.

It's collectively agreed by everyone that Steve's protectiveness over you is very sweet and adorable. Albeit, at times, counter-productive.

Like right now, when one of your shoelaces has come undone and Steve drops everything to kneel down and tie your shoelaces for you. Robin rolls her eyes, Nancy lets out a soft "aw" and Eddie pouts.

"How come you never tie my shoes, Steve?" Eddie mocks, causing you to giggle. Steve shoots the metalhead a deathly glare as his fingers quickly work to tie up your shoelaces.

"Because you're nowhere near pretty as my girlfriend, jackass." is Steve's dry response, one which makes Eddie pout and Nancy laugh out loud.

"I could've tied my own shoelaces." you mumble quietly as he stands back up. "Not that you do a bad job, but I feel bad that your jeans got a bit dirty."

You point to the kneepads of Steve's jeans, which are now coated with specks of dirt and broken leaves from when he was kneeling on the floor to tie your shoes. Steve's quick to dismiss it, lacing his fingers with yours once more.

"Nah. I'd rather it be my jeans getting dirty than your pretty skirt getting messy."

You both stare at each other in adoration, his adoring gaze causing butterflies to erupt in your stomach as his left hand draws comforting circles onto your palm. The silent, sweet moment is interrupted when Robin yells from the front, exasperated.

"As cute as this is, we are still stuck in the Upside Down, so can we PLEASE get a move on?" Robin pleads, shining the flashlight directly at you and Steve's faces.

"Also, we can't stop every time someone's shoelaces get untied." she adds, narrowing her eyes at Steve. He only smirks as he pushes forward into the crowd, dragging you to the front with him.

"We will if it's my girlfriend's shoelaces. So that I can tie them up." he boasts, shooting you a quick wink.

Robin groans at his cocky comment as you attempt to shoot Robin an apologetic smile.

"You're insufferable, Steve Harrington, you know that?" Robin moans, punching him lightly on the shoulder.

Steve shrugs in response.

"What can I say, Robin? Love makes a man do crazy things."

#steve harrington x reader #steve harrington x y/n #steve harrington x you #steve harrington x fem!reader #steve harrington x female reader #steve harrington fluff #steve harrington oneshot #steve harrington imagine #1k #2k

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ladychota · 9 months

Text

Memories

Pairing - Loki x Female Reader

Warnings - Drunk reader (lmk if you want me to add anything)

Summary - After getting drunk, Y/n seeks out the person she misses most.

Word Count - 900

A/N - I had this idea after listening to the song 'Memories' by Conan Gray on repeat so hopefully it's okay, I'm having a bit of writers block atm 😭

Masterlist

You stumble down the street, not entirely sure where you're going. Okay, maybe that's a lie. You do know where you're going, but you can't seem to stop yourself.

It's late. Very late. And it's raining, fat blobs of water tumbling from the sky and landing on your face and shoulders and clothes. A shiver ripples through your body.

Your hand trails along the wall of a building, your fingertips collecting the grime. The world seems to swerve and tip a little around you, but you don't really care. You know the way there like the back of your hand.

Before you know it, you're at that familiar chipped, black door, using the doorframe to keep you upright as you ring the bell.

It takes a moment for him to get to the door and open it, revealing to you the green eyes and ebony black hair you've missed so much. A clumsy smile spreads across your face.

Loki freezes for a moment, his brow furrowing in confusion. "Y/n? What are you doing here?"

"I just wanna talk," Your words are slow and mix together easily; just like squash and water.

"Are you drunk?" He asks now, moving to lean against the doorframe.

"Noooooo," You slur, blinking to try to keep your vision in focus. "Why on Earth would I be drunk?"

A shiver runs through you again, the rain starting to fall heavier over your already drenched body.

"Wow," You laugh, looking around at the wet surroundings. "Is your bro upset or some shit?"

Loki sighs and moves out of the way, gesturing for you to come in. "You can come in, just don't be too noisy. I don't need any more complaints from my neighbours,"

"You've got complaints for being too noisy?" You ask, knowing how quiet he is. You pull off your rain-ruined pumps and put them as neatly as your drunken brain will allow by his shoe rack.

"I actually got complaints because of Thor,"

"Ohhhh," You walk further into Loki's apartment, enjoying the familiarity. It's been a couple months since you've been here... you didn't dare come back after the break up.

You're ushered into the kitchen, where Loki brews you a nice, warm mug of tea. You sit at his breakfast bar, sipping it and feeling it warm your insides.

"So," He starts. "Are you going to elaborate on why you're here?"

"I said," You take another sip. "I just wanna talk,"

"About what?"

You shrug. "I didn't have anything in mind,"

Loki sighs and rubs his temples. "So you came here from where?"

"The club I think... or it might've been somewhere else,"

"Who were you with?"

"Nat and Wanda,"

"And what happened to them?"

You freeze, mug halfway to your lips. That's a good question. You last remember talking to them... when did you last talk to them? You purse your lips, setting the cup back on the counter.

"What's with all the questions?" You groan as your vision begins to swim. "Are you a..." You wave your hands in the air, trying to think of the correct word. "Person with the flashy car?"

"Flashy car...? Oh, a cop?"

"Bingo! Ding, ding, ding! I am the weakest link, goodbye," You place your head on the table, your swimming vision only worsening.

Loki sighs. "Okay, I think it's time for you to go home,"

"Noooo," You protest, a round of hiccups starting.

"Well, where else are you going to go, huh? Why did you even come here in the first place? I find it hard to believe that you just came here to talk," Loki's harsh tone catches you off guard - in your drunken state, you have no idea how to react.

You sit back up, your lip quivering as tears form in your eyes. "I just miss you and I wanted to see you again. I want you to stay in my memories but I can't get you out of my head! Everywhere I go it's just Loki, Loki, Loki..." You sniffle and hiccup, wiping your eyes with your hands. "I know you didn't wanna be friends or lovers but I do! I can't sleep or do anything without you!"

You sigh, silent tears falling down your face. Loki doesn't respond, his expression too difficult to read. You flop your head back onto the counter, the smell of Loki's cologne wiggling it's way into your mind and acting as a sleeping drought - in a mere moment, you're out for the count.

~★~

Loki quickly notices you're asleep, his response dying on his tongue. He sighs again, rubbing his tired eyes. It seems you'll be staying with him tonight.

Your limbs start to sag, so he sweeps you into his arms before you end up on the floor with a bleeding head. A wave of sadness floods his heart as he carries you through his apartment to his bedroom - it hasn't been long since he was carrying you to his bed, happy grins on your faces.

He places you carefully down on the bed, making sure your head rests on the pillow as he tucks you in. It's not like he would've got any sleep anyway, so he doesn't mind giving up his bed.

Another wave of sadness hits him, harder this time - he hates seeing you in such a state, your words slurred and brain mushed up from drinking to forget him...

"For what it's worth," He whispers, tucking a hair behind your ear despite you being oblivious to his words and actions. "I feel the same as you."

#loki x reader #loki x y/n #loki #laufeyson #loki laufeyson #loki oneshot #loki fanfic #avengers #marvel #mcu

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bringbacktim · 9 months

Text

Reaction video (deleted scenes)-jschlatt

This was meant as a celebration for me getting 500 likes ( which is crazy thank you guys sm) but it took me so long to write it that I've now reached 1000 and have to think of something really good ( and smutty ) for that

This is all the embarrassing moments that didn't make the cut for the first imagine , basically reaction video (from the vault)

Warnings:mention of sex tape, swearing, making out , innuendos, god knows what else

Not edited or proofread

Wc:3k words

After seeing the positive reaction their fans had towards the YouTube video y/n and her boyfriend Jschlatt posted, which was just them embarrassing themselves the entire video , they decided to make a part two after finding out the same channel had made another embarrassing moments compilation

"We're back again and ready to embarrass ourselves" y/n said introducing the video

"And out our sex lives" schlatt added knowing they need to stop acting so unprofessional in front of cameras

Embarrassing moment #1

The first one was captured via Charlie's Instagram story at some fancy restaurant ted had invited : schlatt , y/n , and charlie to while they were in LA filming

"Before we even got there we were scolded by Ted to not do anything inappropriate because it was a fancy restaurant , he even made us sit opposite each other" she laughed remembering how Ted was like a concerned parent

"I just want to say before this clip plays , I had no part in this" schlatt said trying to clear his name

This moment was less of a continuous clip and more of a few intagram stories that consisted of just silly photographs of the tiny portions of food or Ted and Charlie doing some stupid joke

There was nothing really out of the ordinary or inappropriate and Ted was thanking the God's above . It was probably due to the fact that Y/n was typing away on her phone and schlatt was deep in conversation, but he was thankful nonetheless

"You've retyped that message a hundred times , what can you not figure out what to say" he asked trying not to be nosy but just wanted to help her

"Anything I say just sounds too needy" she said hoping he didn't get the sexual aspect she was hinting at

"Are you seriously sexting right now"he said with a shake of his head and a sigh

"Would you rather me do it in person" she said as he made a face that said 'good call'

"You and schlatt are the nastiest people I know , how do you sound "too needy"" he said using quotation marks to prove his point

"I'm not even going to bother showing you because it'll end up somewhere online" she half joked as she finally figured out what she wanted to text schlatt as ted turned to talk to him

The text was simple but also got the point across, but it also got in the frame for Charlie's video for barely two seconds as he did a quick sweep of the table , however the fans were quick to spot the 'quickie in the bathroom?' text appear on his screen , but Schlatt was too deep in conversation to hear his phone ping

"Right now? You pigs" Charlie said after putting his phone down , this catching Jschlatt's attention

"What are you talking about man" he said used to having that insult towards him and his sexual antics , but he hadn't done anything

"You might want to check your phone" Charlie said as schlatt checked his phone stood up and said "uh I'll be back in like 10 minutes" checking his watch as he waited for his girlfriend to also stand up

"Can't take them anywhere" Ted laughed recording them giggling and walking away as a punishment

"That wasn't as bad as I remembered , I mean that is a pretty tame text" he said looking at his girlfriend for her agreement

"I can tell Its going to go downhill from here" she said playing the next clip

Embarrassing moment #2

"If you don't want to be that crazy then you'll do ATM-ing , where you take the dick and slide it between the buttcheeks until you come and that's not sex, but it's like an ATM card" Qtcinderella explained to the group

"Okay so you can slide the card but you can't insert the chip" schlatt replied half serious half laughing

"The smirk on your face is so evident , you smug bastard" y/n said turning to her boyfriend as he put his hands up in surrender " ATM-ing is not as fun as it sounds , I don't recommend"

"Care to elaborate on that" ted laughs turning his head to his left at lightning speed

"I felt like I was acting out sausage party" she replied cringing at the memory

"The thought is better than reality sad to say " Schlatt said getting closer to the microphone and basically whispering

Embarrasing moment #3

This one came from a stream he was doing and he found some beef jerky in the kitchen when he took a snack break, but it turned out to be disgusting

"I can't even apologise for this one , I stand by it"

"My guest appearance was everyone's favourite part let's be honest" his girlfriend said knowing his fans love her

"Chat don't ever try organic grass fed beef jerky , tastes like actual ass" he had to hold back a gag at how gross it was

"The broad must of bought it , I would never had gone for organic" chat went wild over the mention of you

"I hope they see this clip of me and shut the fucking company down" schlatt said walking to the other side of the room to get the trash can to show him throwing it away

As he holds it up to the camera for the dramatic effect it is evidently clear that there is a used condom very clearly sat in the bottom of the trash can next to a wrapper of some kind , after throwing away the beef jerky he saw chat going crazy about whatever was in the garbage

"Guys what are you going crazy over in chat" he said scrolling through the comments like an idiot instead of just looking in the object in his hand

Y/n was confused why her phone was blowing up with notifications from her fans saying to go see what schlatt was doing or to join his live, so she obviously did worried about whether he had just revealed something private or hurt himself

Joining his live to see him staring off into space clearly remembering him fucking her over the desk the night before in that short skirt he loved

"The way you stop in your fucking tracks trash can still in view just reliving it with no shame"

"It was a good night, can you blame me" he shrugged his shoulders

Calling his phone didn't snap him out of it , so she stormed into his office mortified that however many people could see what was in the garbage

Waving a hand in front of his face and taking it out of his hands seemed to do the trick as he blushed and started laughing

"You can't blame me , you wore that skirt last night knowing how it would end" he said forgetting they weren't the only two people on earth but also not caring

"Why do you think I keep wearing it" she laughed "didn't think it would distract you so much though"

"Can't wait for the photos and clips to circle the internet later" he said sitting back down in his chair as she said goodbye and left

" I don't know how you didn't get banned for that" his girlfriend questioned as he shrugged and chuckled

"They sent me a very stern email"

Embarrassing moment #4

This moment was captured via CCTV outside Ted's house , but he posted it to his Instagram story cause he thought it was funny (he was a little drunk)

Ted had invited Y/n and Schlatt over for dinner kind of like a double date , but also just to catch up

"You better not embarrass us tonight" his girlfriend scolded him as they walked up to the door of Ted's house and she knocked on the door

"When have I ever not been on my best behaviour" he feigned innocence

"You do it every time we do anything, no one would even be phased if our tape got leaked" she joked

"You have to stop joking about that for my sanity"

"If you cared that much about it getting leaked you wouldn't keep it under no protection" Y/n said knocking again " what is taking Ted so long , I'm getting bored"

"I know a way we can pass the time" schlatt said trying to hold in his laugh at how cliche it was

"If I kiss you , promise me you'll never speak like that again" she said leaning in and closing the gap between them

Obviously, things got heated pretty quickly (it is them afterall) . So when the Nivison boy did eventually make it to the door , he was greeted with the sight of his good friend Jschlatt making out with his girlfriend with a very prominent hand on her behind

He awkwardly cleared his throat as they stepped apart

"Nice of you to finally let us in" schlatt joked walking past him and into the house

"Almost got dicked down in your driveway to pass the time" Y/n followed up

"You guys would've done it either way , just don't keep me up tonight" he warned before closing the door

"He actually kept us awake that night , but fortunately for him I didn't video it and post it on the internet" Y/n remarked

"Why did we pick careers with cameras everywhere" schlatt questioned with a confused face

Embarrassing moment #5

This one happened once again on stream , he was sat at his desk reacting to some compilation of something someone made him . Truth be told the only thing he could focus on was the feeling of his girlfriends mouth around his cock under the desk

Sure it was an adventurous thing to do and would most likely get them caught, but schlatt couldn't care less these reaction videos were getting boring and he needed something to stay focused

"This one is the most embarrassing, people still make fun of us for this" Y/n said hiding her head in her hands

"It was fun at the time, but oh my God do people not shut up about it" her boyfriend agreed lightly chuckling

Anytime he let a groan or any noise slip out he would try to cover it up by acting like he was reacting to the video and adding some comment onto it . All was well until she tried a new technique that almost made him blow a load in zero point two seconds , as she attempted to do it again by getting closer to him so she could get more of him in her mouth , but overestimated how much room there was between her head and the desk resulting in her losing her grip on the carpet and lunging forward resulting in a rather loud gag due to the acoustics of the wooden desk she was under

"Ow" she said pushing his chair back and her head peaking out just enough for the camera to see which obviously everyone saw and went mad for

He just pushed her head back under until he put his 'be back soon' screen up and checked if she was okay

"I didn't even want to go on Twitter for days after this , the one time this guy isn't screaming at the top of his lungs" y/n said pointing at him

"The acoustics of the desk didn't help with how loud the gag was either" he added

Embarrassing moment #6

This one happened at Sneegsnag's wedding and was captured by Ted and uploaded to Instagram (he was past tipsy at this point)

"I can tell by that suit we're at Sneegsnag's wedding, but which moment is going to play is the question" y/n said hoping it was the tamer one

"I'm gonna guess the Ted one" jschlatt said making it into a game

As it was the Ted clip, he showed up on screen slurring some words into the camera before turning the camera around to pan across the entire room

He heard the slow songs starting to play and questioned why Y/n and Schlatt the most in love couple he knew weren't on the dance floor right now , so like any drunk wedding guest he stomped over to them phone still in hand and asked"why are you guys not dancing?"

"Big guy won't dance with me" his friend replied sulking

"C'mon man , don't be that guy" ted said pulling a face at his friend

"I'll dance if you and shae do" schlatt bargained

As ted looked at his friend y/n who was already looking at him with what can only be described as a pleasing look "fine" he said for the sake of his friend

"He could've stopped recording here and just made it look like a nice moment" Y/n pointed out knowing what was coming

"There's not a single nice moment of the three of us , or just the two of us" her boyfriend joked

Before they got to the dance floor where the photographer was most likely taking pictures , so she did what any good person would do and fixed his collar and smoothed out his shirt for him

"If I knew you'd be acting like my good housewife , I would've said yes to dancing the first time you asked" he laughed grabbing a handful of ass as she hid her face in his chest embarrassed about such a stupid joke being caught on camera . A joke that nonetheless was going to be labelled as offensive by people online

"People took that housewife joke and ran with it honestly" y/n said rolling her eyes

"Alot of people didn't realise that it was a harmless joke, this broad would make the worst housewife ever" he said trying to keep a serious face as he pressed play on the video

Embarrassing moment #7

This one was on an episode of chuckle sandwich , they were talking about how people who believe everything they see on the internet is true are idiots

"This one keeps me up at night , I apologise to whoever had to blur this part" she cringed hiding her head in her boyfriends shoulder as he attempted to soothe her by patting/rubbing the back of her head

"As soon as this happened, I begged everyone to let me edit that part of the video , I didn't want anyone else seeing it uncensored" Jschlatt said before pressing play , letting his possessive side shine through

"You're so possessive"

"How would you like it if I whipped out my cock for everyone to see " he turned towards her and asked as she agreed

"I keep getting DM's from fans asking if facts they see on social media are real or not , anyone else?" Ted asked the group

"No what the fuck type of fans do you have" schlatt laughed

"What facts do they want to know?"

Y/n asked

"I've never seen a single video on social media that had any true facts" charlie said

Schlatt muttered a 'true' in response to his friend, but was caught off guard by his girlfriend staring at him with an all knowing look from her square on screen "why are you staring at me like that" he said probably cutting off a conversation

"What about that tiktok you sent me the other day that said staring at boobs can make a man live longer, and you said it was "very true" his girlfriend called him out

"You guys can back me up here" he said leaning back in his seat and smirking

" I have to agree with schlatt on this one" Ted said standing up for his friend

"That's the first true fact I've heard that comes from social media" Charlie said contradicting his statement from earlier as they laughed

Schlatt heard a knock on his office door so went to open it thinking it was one of the cats , not expecting it to be his girlfriend

"What's wrong?" He said cat parent mode activating

"Is your camera off ?" She whispered

"What are you two doing in that doorway?" Ted said thinking it was probably sexual

"Hang on, I'll be back guys" schlatt said going to press the button that turned his camera off , but accidentally clicked the one that muted him

"Why are we always the ones being embarrassed, when is it anyone else's turn" Y/n said remembering how embarrassing this clip was

"Audio listeners love you to death , Y/n knocked on Schlatt's door and then he attempted to turn his camera off and failed, but he's across the room so won't hear us if we tell him"

What the trio (+tucker) didn't expect to happen next was for Y/n to pull the bottom of the shirt she was wearing upwards and flash everyone in that call . Charlie and Ted have never turned their head away from something so quickly and pretend to be doing something else

"This is just like when a sex scene comes on when you're watching a movie as a family and you gave to pretend to be interested in the carpet" charlie said trying to fill in the awkward pause

By the time Ted had told the audio listeners what just went down schlatt and Y/n were back in their respective squares on screen fully clothed

"You can wipe that smile off your face,we all just witnessed that" Ted said not bothering to beat around the bush

"Let me know when this gets edited" schlatt ended the conversation by saying

"When you said you censored my boobs out of the video I half expected a twin tower on each one" (don't tell me he wouldn't do that) she laughed as he hung his head in disappointment

"Why didn't I think of that , the powered by bitchdust bumper sticker seems stupid now"

After some more jokes and mean comments about their friends , they bid farewell to whoever would watch the video and made a pact to dial down the amount of embarrassing moments they produced

#jschlatt smut #jschlatt imagine #charlie slimecicle x reader #mcyt tag #schlatt #schlatt x reader #ted nivison #jschlatt imagines #jschlatt x y/n

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becausegoodheroesdeservekidneys · 10 months

Note

Okay every time I read one of your celtophobia posts I am filled with immediate and incandescent rage, enough to propulse the responsible idiots into space but not to bring them back again. I'm really sorry about the """""lecturer"""""" you had to sit through this morning, and any other instances that happen. Hugs.

That said, I am very worried of doing the same thing and want to make my utmost sure I don't, so I thought it'd be okay to ask someone from a language that has to fight for space for politeness tricks. Apologies if this is not okay!

Context: I'm from continental Europe, which means English is my second language (I speak three languages and a half ish, the half is in process, because #languagenerd). I'm moving to Ireland come September, and I'm absolutely terrified of offending the good Irish people when I don't know how to pronounce their names, surnames, street names, or anything else; or, worse, try and end up butchering them in the manner of the British.

Dilemma: How can I ask for help when pronouncing things in a delicate way? I was thinking of signing up to Irish courses once I'm there, but for now I'm panicking about the actual move so I can't get a head start with that because my brain space is limited, and other than watching YouTube videos with the most common Irish names/words ahead of arriving, I honestly don't know. I want to be culturally sensitive and make sure they feel respected and not Colonised, Part Three Hundred, but also they shouldn't have to bear the weight of my lack of cultural knowledge and Teach Me? Idk. Just thoughts.

Good question! I suppose it's a two-part procedure:

Step 1: Learn a pronunciation guide. By that I just mean get to grips with the alphabet, common phonemes, etc and how those are said. With something like Welsh it's super easy (because phonetic), something like English it's super hard (because not phonetic); Irish is a bit more complex than Welsh, but still more phonetic than English. You might not be able to get to a "perfect every time" place, but you can get yourself to a "right most times" place.

Step 2: If you encounter a name you aren't 100% sure of, offer your best educated guess when asking. This shows that you have done the work, you are making a genuine attempt, but you still have the humility to ask to make sure.

When I say "best educated guess", I mean it's clear that you're guessing based on a working knowledge of the language rules in question. In Welsh, for example, if someone asks me how to pronounce "Cymru", there is a world of difference between someone saying "Sim-roo" (based on English pronunciation rules transposed onto Welsh) and "Kim-ree" (based on Welsh pronunciation rules, they just forgot which pronunciation of 'y' to use for the syllable it's in.) If someone says to me "How do you say that? Sim-roo?" then I know they haven't attempted any prior learning (though points for being interested enough to ask.) But if they say "Am I right in thinking it's Kim-ree?" then I know they've made the effort themselves, they've done the work, they just have a carry error that's skewed the answer.

Plus, you may well be right! And will be right more and more often the longer you're in Ireland.

If it helps, there's an Irish pronunciation guide here that's pretty good (or was back when I used it), and teanglann.ie is a pretty good resource for this, as it's a dictionary that lets you hear the words aloud and explains grammatical uses. (Irish people please feel free to add any other resources to the notes if you feel so inclined!)

As a final note, mind, given that you don't have time atm to dedicate brain space to this, speaking as a Welsh person I would be absolutely fine with someone saying to me "Sorry, I haven't had chance to learn yet, how do I say this?", or some variant thereof. Or, frankly, anything that's just... a polite request, and not laughing about it. I would take a thousand instances of "How do I say that? Sim-roo?" over even one "I don't know how to say that, haha" because the former is still caring enough to ask. So don't panic! A polite request will see you right.

#asks #wales!#closed for cleaning on mondays #linguistics

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driftsart · 3 months

Note

What's Megatron and Starscream's relationship?

Info under cut ⬇️⬇️

Well, Starscream's never been a fan of Megatron. He doesn't really believe in what the decepticons stand for, cause he was a member of the higher class and didn't care much about the others.

The only reason he joined the deceptions is because he and his brothers were rescued and didn't have anywhere else to go.

Starscream tried hurting Megatron at times just out of hate, but luckily Soundwave was always around and was there to defend Megatron.

When Starscream tried harming Megatron, it angered Soundwave so much that he'd literally try to k!ll Starscream and hurt him as much as possible, but Megatron always insisted for Soundwave to let him live, he'd even cry.

As Starscream recovered from the wounds of the fights with Soundwave, Megatron would be the one there to care for him even after what he did.

Starscream started to tolerate Megatron eventually, and even though Starscream keeps his distance at most times, he doesn't try to harm Megatron in any way anymore, and Megatron sometimes tries inviting him to do things such as making some stuff out of wood (That's Meg's favorite hobby), and things like that to strengthen their relationship. And even though Starscream doesn't admit it, he enjoys those activities.

(I made this a while ago I'm busy rn and can't draw anything atm :o)

#transformers #au #ask #ask post #decepticons #megatron #Starscream

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captainmera · 2 months

Text

Depression has hit me really hard, and a lot of things are happening at the same time.

I'm simultaneously burnt out and on the verge of a collapse, but like... I can't really do anything about it. I'm just sort of waiting for the stick to break so I can work thru it and move along.

I can't even focus on important things like replying to mails without my brain circumventing into something else.

Avpd and burnout is putting me in a constant brain fog these days. And severe maladaptive daydreaming.

I'm trying to be social and grounded, but I feel like everything around me is drowned in mist, and when I speak, it's through molasses.

I know I'm disappointing ppl by putting certain things on hold, like fanfics, my comic, or asks. But I just can't do it r/n. it will come in whatever speed it comes at.

And frankly I'm just too fried and tired to extend more than a sigh of empathy to your frustration with me. I understand you, I do. But I'm just some guy. I'm not getting paid. I'm broke and tired, and I can't be arsed to even be upset.

Atm, I'm doing this Caleb-focused comic mainly just to do something else than hyperventilate or maladaptive daydream. It's helping me have some control over what I disappear into, something physical, rather than sit on the floor and stare off into space.

I could do it for ibwr, I should be putting that energy there.

But there's some stressful things going on there with contracts and whatnot that's put a damper on things. Money is stressful. At least a stressful damper. So it's difficult to concentrate on it with that humming in the background, y'know?

Anyway.

Bear with me, please. I know people are impressed by my productivity and speed - but it's not so impressive once you know I'm just unwell and trying to cope. I also have a lot of time on my hands.

I'm fine, really, I am. /GEN I just can't do four projects at once. I can do two tops. And right now it's the caleb comic and IBWR. That's it.

I'm aware it's not super great to work so much when I'm burnt out.

But know that I'm choosing one pest lesser than another greater pest. So the constant "REST!!" Comments aren't, like, fantastic. I just feel ashamed for not being better than I am or being able to practice what I preach.

Lo and behold, being mentally unwell and not being wholesome healthy about it. Who would've known it is complicated to be unwell, actually? /LHJ /GEN /notSarcasm

I know I don't owe anybody anything. But I just kinda wanted to have a sigh and vague-post-gesture at what I'm standing in to the void of the Internet.

Because I do get comments and asks asking where an update is, or why I didn't draw their ask, or why I'm putting energy in X instead of Y, etc.

So I'm just......... I'm just gonna like....... ignore it. It's not personal.

I love and appreciate your love for my work, I really do. Thank you for all of your excitement and your feedback. Its been a delight. /GEN

But... I'm just gonna have to ignore what the majority of people crave from me and do what I want in the pace I need to do it.

okay? :(

Look. Just allow it fam.

Just allow it.

Using memes to try to communicate some essence of lightheartedness.

#liveblogging

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violetarks · 1 year

Text

"dearer than i?"

anime: attack on titan

character: reiner braun

summary: an eldian warrior falls for the forbidden enemy, and he knows he would sacrifice anything for you. or, at least he would if he could.

warnings: g/n! reader, second person pov, heavily based off that tiktok trend going around atm (yknow the one), just a quick fic, wanted to try my hand at angst

you're not the first to find out about his secret. and you're definitely not the last. people from inside the walls that you protect, they find out within the week. you don't know how you could've been so blind, so dumb. falling for someone like reiner... falling for someone at all. you were a soldier, for god's sake. not some lovesick fool.

but you sure did feel like one.

how he made you feel like a lovesick fool, and how much you loved it, loved him. you can't wrap your head around it, even as you cry in your sheets and hide all the presents he had given you — soft blankets, a now dried flower from his visit outside the wall — just so you could keep them. you couldn't throw them out, no, that would be barbaric. you... just need them here, for your sake.

he didn't even look at you when you called his name, pleading for him to come back and surrender. you begged him to stay home, to stay with you, and you were faced with the sheer rejection he unwillingly showed you as he escaped. how could you love someone who has left you behind in the remnants of his lies?

you criticise him for being such a beautiful man, who loves you more than either of you could ever love yourselves. but now you know why. because he could never forgive himself for what he was about to do to you, your family, and your home.

you could never forgive him.

which is why you are so utterly confused when you see a note in your room, on your desk, asking you to meet him at your special spot. he signs it with his name, handwriting rough as always and slightly more rushed.

you almost don't believe it's him. why would he write to you now? a long time after he left you. what right did he have?

you want to crumble it all up and throw it out the window, or burn it and let your bedroom go up in flames as well. you want to sell him out. you could bring levi, eren, mikasa or literally anybody else, they could hide in the shadows and strike when you have him at his most vulnerable.

it would be poetically miserable, an untimely ending. revenge tasted sweet on your tongue.

but you held it. your heart had it in a headlock, and it forced you to keep that note a secret, and it pushed your legs up that mountain, trekking through the heavy greenery. it made you look back at the talk blonde, with such broad shoulders that you had hugged so tightly your heartbeat could mould into his.

he is tired, he is sad when he sees you. he almost wishes you hadn't come. because he can see how tired you've become over the three years he left you here. you stare back at him, but you don't look mad or upset. you simply soak in the sight of him.

he will never forget the blood that seeped through your uniform, how even after he had caused your injury, you still chased after him with your gear when your horse was killed amongst the thrown rubble.

your hair is the same, you must've been maintaining it. you need to keep up appearances; the soldiers that were put under your command look up to you, they need to know how strong you are. and reiner can see that.

but you have a scar across your collarbone. namely, the place where debris of the village had hit you when he and his fellow warriors made their escape. he remembers watching you fall under the crumbled stone and wood. your yell of pain as you threw your head back, and he could see metal protruding from your upper shoulder, cutting quite roughly through the top of your trapezius, deep enough to leave the bumpy scar between your neck and shoulders.

bruises covered your body, and you have a bandage around your hand. you've always been a hard worker. and you'll beat yourself to death if it meant to get over him.

yet here you are...

what happened?

"you came." reiner says, voice low and just above the sound of the wind. it's midnight, just after, and he watches you in your shirt and your thick jacket covering your shoulders. he can't muster up a smile.

and neither can you. the note crunches in your fist. he watches. your voice comes out louder than his, just barely. "you called."

devoid of any true emotion.

he stands just four feet away from you, and if he shuffled he could engulf you in his arms. but he doesn't deserve it.

"why are you here?" you ask, suddenly in control of the conversation.

"i wanted to see you."

"why?"

"did you not want to see me?" when you don't answer, he fills the silence. "i missed you."

"do you, now?" a sense of doubt lingers in your tone. reiner nods carefully. "do you regret leaving?"

"i don't know." he says, rubbing his cheek. he isn't sheepish, he used to rub his cheek when he was nervous or he was flustered by you. you used to find it endearing, now you find it infuriating. you want to cut off his hand. "i don't know."

he repeats himself like a broken record and you step forward, your stance confident as you let the the cold air of the cliff push your hood off of your head. "would you have stayed if... if i did something?" you ask, brows upturned in desperation, "what could i have done to prevent you from leaving? what made you... stay with me in the first place?"

"i didn't want to fall in love with you, y/n, i promise that what we had was never planned. i didn't want it when we began." his words should hurt you even more, add fuel to the fire, but you find yourself momentarily thankful. "i stayed that long because i loved you more than my purpose. i loved you so much that i would disregard what i was meant to be doing. i just wanted to love you and have you. i wanted nothing more."

you won't cry for him. you won't shed one single tear for this dunce. not with how he stared at you when you were enrolled, not with how he kissed you out of nowhere when celebrating your graduation, not with how he made you feel like he would never leave you. no, you won't cry for him now.

he cries. he has tears running down his chin, but his tone keep steady. as if he's been practicing. the sight of you makes his heart lump in his throat.

"but... there was nothing you could've done to keep me here, y/n. i'm sorry." he makes you feel like you're not enough anymore. a plaything, a toy for him to drag around while he holidayed within the walls. reiner makes you feek like a fool. "i had to leave. and i couldn't take you with me. you don't belong with the people of my home. they would hurt you."

"more than you did?" you scowl, balled up fists as you glare at him. your heart pounds in your ears and your face feels like it's heating up. reiner's cool facade breaks, and he begins to wipe his tears away. "how could anyone hurt me more than you have?"

reiner speaks through his palms, "i don't know..."

"you never know." your voice is harsh, it's similar to the irritation that those soldiers spit to him when he is home. but the malice in your tone is different. far, far more hurtful. "why do you never know? you don't know any reason to stay, you don't know why you didn't just leave me alons, you don't know why you promised me the world and left with everything i was."

hands grip the edge of his coat. marley's colours litter his person, but nobody would notice. not with how well he had hidden it. but you'll remember the uniform of that bastard who killed your commander, who was playing a game with the lives of all your comrades. and you will never forget how reiner shares that same uniform.

reiner cries more, he watches you take another step forward and his fingers tangle in his jacket. you leave footsteps and leave a pang in his heart.

"i can't believe i fell in love with you! i—i wish i had never met you, reiner! annie was fucking right, i thought she just hated you, but she was just trying to save me!" you shout, anger lacing your throat as you throw the crumbled note into his chest. you're crying. you cry when you're angry. he knows, and he knows how much you wished you weren't crying. it drips onto the dirt. "i... i can't believe you would do this us... why didn't you choose us, reiner? after everything we all did together, you still chose to leave?"

he's going to give you the same answer, and you know it. you wait for him, though. a habit that just refuses to die with your memories of him. reiner holds the end button of his jacket, and he looks back at you with those puppy dog, sad eyes that he would give you when he accidentally made you upset. but you don't fold over this time.

you're in arms length.

reiner misses you the most at night. after a couple years of saying 'goodnight' to each other, holding one another as an excuse to keep warm, kisses of comfort, it's hard to go back to your life before. reiner finds it just as difficult. he waits, and waits, and waits for you to come into his bedroom and kiss him, sneak under his sheets and sleep in with him until an hour before you were to wake. but you never come.

"why didn't you just stay? we would've... you could have stayed." you say, scrambling for that piece of you stil loved him. it wasn't hard to find. you still looked at him the way you used to when you were upset with him, looking for some sort of reasoning. that was hard to find. "why did you do it?"

"i don't know." his voice is even more desperate than before.

when your fist collides with his jaw, sending his head up and his body falling back, reiner swears he's seeing stars. maybe that's because he was, having now been faced to the night sky. but there's no doubt that your punch had knocked his smarts back into play.

you're on top of him in an instant, tears rushing down your face and landing on his chest. you sit atop his hips, yanking on his collar to pull him up at you send another punch.

"i hate you! i can't—!" you begin to angrily call, reeling back to hit him again. you watch his face bloody. but it's not enough. it won't ever amount to the blood that was spilled those days he attacked your home. you will bruise your fists, bleed yourself for your revenge. "we will never forgive you, reiner. i will never forgive you!"

reiner's instincts kick in at your sixth hit, and his hand that was resting on your hip, keeping you in place, now comes up to catch your wrist, stopping your punches.

but you bring your other hand, backhanding him. "you ruined my life! you promised me you'd..." you mutter out, choking on your sobs, "why couldn't you just listen to me? i said you could come home! you didn't have to abandon me!"

your knuckle burns after the second impact, and you go back for a second shot when reiner lifts himself to sit up, making you shift back to sit in between the circle of his legs. your heels under the bump of his hips, you grasp the hand covering your wrist, trying to yank him away.

"y/n—"

"you left me."

"i didn't want to, y/n, i love you." he claims, and you watch as smoke covers the injuries you put upon him moments ago. it heals him.

"then why did you leave?" you gulp, swallowing the tears that were yet to come, "why didn't you choose me?"

he takes in a deep breath. his scruffy facial hair drew wet from his tears. his eyes are dark but brows are upturned as he stares at you. "i would've chosen you."

"but you didn't." you say, tight fists in his hands, "you still chose the home that threw you away..."

he can't explain why he did it. because he doesn't quite know. maybe it's because of how he was brought up, how he was sent so young to take down the enemy. but that isn't good enough.

"you can still come home with me." your voice sounds like as sweet honey, and he sees your gently link your fingers through his. your eyes are still red, but you look at him. that part of you that loves him is pulling through. "you don't have to leave again."

he holds your hand tighter. they've become rougher, callouses cover your palms. he sighs out, "if i go back to marley, then we can't be together." his warm hands catch yours, desiring your touch. he longs for your hold. your heart sinks. "but if i never return, i turn on my family and my country. they're... they mean the most to me..."

"the family who sent you off to war at such a young age to simply dispose of the ridicule they face? the country who forced you to infiltrate my home while you were barely a teenager?" you scowl, standing up and peeling your hands out if his. he drops his hands onto my lap, watching you take a step away from him. "they mean more to you, than i do?"

he takes a deep breath, and lets it out. silence follows, drawing on more and more. he won't answer you.

"you said you'd choose me if you could. you can, right now." you say, staring down st him, "but you aren't, reiner... you... you still won't choose me."

"i'm sorry."

"that's not good enough." you respond, wiping your face, "i'm sorry, but if you don't come back with me, then i'm sending my unit after you."

"stay a little longer. please." he pleads, standing up again.

"i can't." you respond, walking back towards the forest, "listen to me, reiner. come home and i'll make sure we sort everything out." eren wants to kill him. levi wants revenge. mikasa is willing to do anything to protect her family. you could try, though. you glare back at him. "but you'll give me no choice if you go back. i'll make sure to be the one to end you if you continue being our enemy."

reiner drops his shoulders. all the tension fills the air between your gazes. his heart swells at your words, and your hard gaze turning gentle.

"i'm sorry, reiner." you murmur, turning your head and looking at the grass beneath you. the moonlight sets your path home ablaze.

he smiles softly at you. "it's okay. i wouldn't want it to be anybody but you." he tells you, "i still love you."

your eyes train on the floor as your shove your hands in your pocket. a heavy breath leaves you, "i promise i'll spend the last moments of your life with you."

when you leave, reiner feels better. he shouldn't, you rejected him and refused to stay any longer at his side. you said you would send people after him, you'd kill him. but he feels better.

he wonders how long it'll last this time.

#reiner braun #reiner braun x reader #reiner #reiner x reader #attack on titan #attack on titan x reader #aot #aot x reader #shinjeki no kyojin #shinjeki no kyojin x reader #snk #snk x reader

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earthstellar · 1 year

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just thinking about how fucked it is in TFP that June is unaware that Jack escaped the attack on the base for a decent period of time

so like for at least a few days, she is fully fighting off the despair of the very real possibility that her only child has been ground into human paté by an evil space robot warlord who is actively (and thus far, mostly successfully) attempting to violently take over the planet

yeah Fowler is there but I cannot imagine the amount of government shit he was buried under the entire time

she would have to cope those few days (longer than a week? can't rewatch atm to establish any rough timeline) of just thinking "my son was the first human casualty of an impossible war against giant mechanical alien invaders"

if she believed him dead, if her hope slipped for just a moment, the mental gymnastics needed to cope, even if just to assist Fowler the best she could, would be devastating-- the hospital is gone, the town has been evacuated, has anyone else been killed? is it just Jack? what about the other kids?

it would be easy to start thinking down a dark path, and I think Fowler kept June around instead of evacuating her because not only is there no way she would go, but because he realises that she very seriously may have just lost her son. she needs distractions, support, someone at least somewhat familiar, a sense that her input is needed and will be genuinely considered in order to gain any semblance of control over a situation that just took her son away from her. either for now, or forever.

realistically, Fowler is military, and could have forced her to leave. but he didn't. there are pros and cons to that approach, but given the circumstances, it was almost certainly the right call. good guy Fowler!!

Fowler knew Jack. Fowler did his best to keep them safe on base. She doesn't blame him. He might struggle with some guilt himself, though.

There's no blame, really; What can anyone do when giants from the sky descend and touch the Earth with pointed metal claws, raking at the ground and the people on it, like pulling weeds to clear the land for purposes beyond them?

the situation in general may have been so overwhelming, and both June and Fowler are fairly stubborn, that combined with their need for proof before mourning all of the general stress may have been enough of an active focus to keep them going

but there is no way June didn't have a complete fucking breakdown over the possibility of Jack's death at some point during all this

which is why I can sort of accept Jack's dumbass move of trying to call her

given how anxious we see her on screen most of the time when it comes to the kids (and not unreasonably so), and how little we know about the Darby family history, we can assume Jack could easily imagine how distraught his mother might be

that's a lot of emotional stress to place on a teenager who almost got extremely killed not too long ago and is currently on the run

so yes, it was a bad call (literally), but one that is totally understandable. I would expect a teenager with a close and generally positive relationship with their parent to want that parent to know they aren't dead, that there's still hope, that they're ok.

it's easy to shit on Jack for making the call when he did, but realistically, he's a teenager and real serious shit is happening and there are emotions and worry and who knows, the deceptions might get him soon anyway. it's hard to stay hopeful. and his mother is really the only relation he's got, in terms of direct family, that we ever see or hear about.

he had the opportunity to risk a final call before things may have gotten even worse no matter what, regardless of anything, and he took that chance to call his mom.

I can understand that, even if it was a dipshit move given the risks. Not a great idea, but a totally understandable one.

they couldn't play up any of this on screen for obvious reasons, not just time constraints, but because this is heavy shit for a show aimed ostensibly at a majority youth demographic, and it's understandable that they didn't focus too much on the darker aspects of this whole arc

but still, it reminds me a lot of what it's like after a bad hurricane. lots of people who are missing family members, no homes to go back to, lots of confusion and injury with no communication, it sucks. the destruction of Jasper definitely has that vibe.

I'm willing to bet June, at some point, was crying in the shower of some military temporary barracks or even shitty FEMA accomodation (I hate those fucking trailers, I've had to deal with them myself) thinking "my son is dead" over and over in a moment of despair, until walking out and thinking to herself, "he's not dead until we know he's dead" (even if she increasingly struggles to hold on to hope) and putting her clothes back on--

--they might be dirty, and Fowler may have offered some spare uniforms for her to wear from whatever soldier gear they might have had peppered around-- but Jack would recognise her scrubs, so she put them back on no matter how gross they felt

and just doing whatever she could to back up Fowler when dealing with his superiors, anything she could think about or do or focus on

either to find her son, or confirm that he had died

just really grim

anyway my break's over! back to work

#tfp #june darby #maccadam #maccadams #just thinkin'#transformers prime #agent fowler #jack darby #tfp jack #long post

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