#because WHO ELSE am i going to find who is queer & christian
Note
WIBTA if I start giving some very *very* Christian family members religious pamphlets from non-Christian religions as gifts?
To be clear, I am writing this while firmly believing I'm NTA but I am angry and don't trust my own judgment too much right now.
Background and Players: My Son (19) was adopted out as a baby by his incubator behind (my husband, 40) his father's back. He was abandoned at 4 by his adopted family because of behavioral issues related to what his incubator was putting into her body while she was pregnant with him, and went into foster care with people I will call Amom and Adad. Adad is a pastor in his 90s and Amom is a pastor's wife in her 80s. When Son was 13 and I had been with Husband for 5ish years, we had been told (by someone from his incubator's family but we didn't know that at the time) he was non-verbal and "mentally an infant" and that trying to pull him out of the routine he had would just be incredibly harmful to him, so we had given up hope of finding him and having a relationship with him. We got a phone call one day, a worker who was looking for a medical history for Son. Husband spent close to 3 hours on the phone with her, answering questions and asking anything he could squeeze in. Turns out, we had been lied to about his mental health just... completely. He's impossible to shut up and he graduated high school last year despite, you know, *gestures vaguely at everything* and I am incredibly proud of him. Half an hour after that call ended, she called back and told us Son might be interested in meeting us, was it okay for her to pass on our contact info. A month later, Son, Amom, Adad, Husband and I were sitting in a restaurant together and a month after that we went to their place for a week to spend Christmas with them. This is when they informed us that they had finalized his legal adoption a couple of weeks earlier. 2 years after that, my QPP moved in with us, and another year later 16 year old Son asked if he could move in with us. He still does.
The Issue: Son wants a continuing relationship with Amom and Adad, but due to the previously mentioned substances used by his incubator, he has memory and time management issues so I have to regularly remind him to contact them. I have no problem doing this, but the contact we have had with them over the last few years has soured me on their company. I've got no problem reminding Son to contact them and organizing rides for him to visit (usually QPP and I driving him, the trip is a couple of hours each way) but I'd rather never speak to them myself if it can be avoided. It didn't start out this way, but over the years they have made it very clear that they don't respect anyone else's beliefs. Not just us, like there was one night where they were going off about some Danish surgeon saying publicly that he was Muslim first, Danish second, and they were trying to convince us to be terrified by that. The conversation ended awkwardly when Husband asked if Adad was Nationality or Christian first (because that's different you see). We have found books on the bookshelves in the guest room about how any kind of queerness at all is demonic possession, one of which they wrote. They talk about things like being sent on a mission by their god to save as many (and I hate that these are quotes) "brown heathen children" by making them Christians as possible (Son and his adopted siblings are all First Nations, Amom and Adad are as white as I am), or how Jewish people are evil for stopping Christians from claiming their suffering because "Jesus was a Jew so aren't all Christians also Jews?". Amom once spent a week trying to convince me to go to church with her and share the details of my childhood sexual abuse with the entire congregation because "it will show God you are ready to be forgiven". QPP is a shintoist and after they found that out, we started seeing more literature about the Japanese, specifically during WWII, around their house when we visited.
We have politely made it clear that we are not interested in Christianity, especially not their version. Multiple times. We thought it was finally over after Son had a meltdown at them at his graduation ceremony because he wanted JUST ONE conversation with them that wasn't about Jesus. He was in tears trying to explain that to them, and their response was to tell him he needed to come back to church so they could lay on hands and chase all the demons making him say these horrible disrespectful things to them out of him. He was supposed to stay with them for a few days to visit after that, but by the time I tracked him down and got him calm, he didn't want to go anymore. They seemed to stop after that, like they actually backed off and I think I got maybe 2 emails that didn't mention God or Jesus, not even a "God bless" in the sign off. We were optimistic. Son was late organizing it but we dropped him off (at his request, he's worried that Adad won't make it to next Christmas and wanted to see him) at their place on Boxing Day. We did not hang around, we did not send gifts, we didn't even reply to the Family Christmas Email (it had a video of a Jordan B Peterson rant embedded in it and I've told them before that we are not interested in anything that sack of hateful arrogance has to say please stop putting him in my inbox). We have done everything we can to make it clear that we do not want a relationship with them for ourselves, including outright directly telling them politely to their faces that we will not stop Son from seeing them but we don't feel comfortable around them and don't want a relationship with them for ourselves. Son came back with "gifts" from them - a study guide for a specific Bible book (I got John, Husband got Michael, QPP set his on fire before we saw who it was) and a bag of candy that looked like it came out of a thrift store (I got the same one they always get me, which I laughed off the first and second and third time and explained I couldn't stand them because my abuser used to give me one when he was done. Husband is diabetic and got York Patties. QPP actually got something decent though, $20 for gas).
I have managed to keep my "I'd rather you hadn't bothered actually" rantingvto Tumblr, which i don't think they even know exists, but I'm still pissed about the Bible crap as "gifts". I am considering changing tactics completely and being super friendly, mirroring their energy, and giving them the same treatment they've given us. I want to make excuses to visit so I can explain the finer points of shintoism and Celtic paganism in every single conversation. I want to give them books for gifts, books like The Tao of Pooh and The Gospel of The Flying Spaghetti Monster. I want to wrap cash in pamphlets about The Invisible Pink Unicorn and leave it on their fridge.
QPP and husband think I should give myself more time to calm down and just keep ignoring it and playing nice when I'm forced to play at all but like, IT'S BEEN 6 YEARS.
What are these acronyms?
302 notes
·
View notes
Text
You Can't Go Home Again
I'm someone who walked away from my childhood religion almost twenty years ago, and I'm very firmly at a place in my life now where I am very happy to be through with it and have zero lingering desire to go back. I've also been out as some kind of queer person for the same almost-twenty years, and I've been out as trans for almost fifteen of those years.
If you knew absolutely nothing else about me or my life except for those major plot points, and the fact that I'm a Good Omens fan, it would be reasonable to assume that I would identify with Crowley far more than Aziraphale. At least at this point in my life. And in fact, I've seen many fans with backgrounds similar to mine say that they used to be much more like Aziraphale when they were younger, but nowadays they see far more of themself in Crowley. Which makes sense, as a trajectory for people who grew up in controlling religions and then left!
I've been trying to figure out what it is about me that makes me so automatically take Aziraphale's perspective when watching this show, even though the most aggressively Aziraphale time of my life was literal decades ago now. And I think that's probably a very complicated answer, but I realized today that I see an emotional struggle happening in him that I still wrestled with for years and years after leaving the church before I was finally able to completely put it to rest—the struggle to accept that some things can never go back to the way they were.
I seriously suffered so much over this for so long after I left the church. Despite all the damage it had done to me, my entire life had been intertwined with the church and a lot of things that were good—or at least deeply comforting in their familiarity—had also been a part of that. I had plenty of genuinely happy memories all mixed together with the harmful ones (which, in case you were wondering, is confusing as hell). There were fundamental human needs that I had only ever gotten met through the church, and as double-edged as what the church provided was, it was all I knew. Learning to get those needs met in new ways was much healthier, but it wasn't what I had always known growing up and it was a loss.
And I spent a long time refusing to fully accept that going back to any version of Christianity or the church just...wasn't ever going to be in the cards for me.
That is in the cards for some people, I know. Some folks who leave or get kicked out of ultra-dogmatic and controlling churches eventually find new homes in much more progressive and nurturing ones. And that's great! But that was never going to be my path. The process of seeing my childhood religion for what it truly was, losing my beliefs, leaving everything the church was to me further and further behind, and gradually learning who I was without it, changed me too much for me to ever be able to go back again.
I am fine with that now. More than fine. I'm healthier and happier now than I've ever been. Over time I grew into a version of myself that no longer has a church/religion/faith-shaped gaping wound in my life I'm trying to fill. But it was hard and painful and it took a really long time for me to get there. I spent a lot of my twenties and even a bit of my early thirties trying to find something...some new church community that I could be connected to in some way, that would give me back some of what I'd lost when I left my childhood church. But none of them ever did. I was never going to get the same things out of belonging to a church again, because I wasn't the same.
You can't go home again.
I see Aziraphale on that same journey and that's part of what makes my heart automatically go out to him and hurt for him, over and over again. He's still desperately holding onto the idea of a hypothetical version of Heaven and being an angel that can be home again one day. One where all the good things he remembers are still there, and still every bit as good, and all the bad parts have been fixed or gotten rid of, so that being there will be like the old times, only even nicer.
Except that even if he actually succeeded at somehow making Heaven the exact flavor of like-the-old-times-only-even-nicer that he is imagining, it wouldn't matter. Heaven is not his home anymore. He's already changed too much to be able to go back. He just hasn't accepted that yet.
#good omens#good omens meta#good omens 2 spoilers#aziraphale#the final fifteen#religious deconstruction#personal
245 notes
·
View notes
Text
hi here's my thinkpiece on the religiosity of grace chasity (also op is a christian no clowning in the notes) :)
so she's pretty clearly a critique on christianity, specifically american evangelical christianity. that's because that one's got a lot of purity culture fuckery. she lives in a no-moan household. she wears swimmers to the bathtub. i say evangelicalism not catholicism because of the exchange with detective shapiro.
and her purity is what she finds most valuable about herself. and, i would argue that that and swearing are the most christian* things she adheres to. when she finds herself accidentally masturbating (good on her for finding her spot immediately tbh), she wants to do anything to get rid of it. she thinks kissing and carrying books is sinful (there is nothing in the Bible about this). but she's fine when she commits manslaughter (which the Bible doesn't like super vibe with). and that is the biggest problem with american evangelicalism. that sexual immorality** and doing secular things (swearing, non-christian music) are the worst sins you could ever commit. she loves power, and i've found that evangelicals in my country (australia) have a similarly hell-focused theology to grace (her disregarding catholicism, "she's bisexual and dead where else would she be").
so let's talk about the climax (pun intended) of the musical, which simultaneously shows grace in the best light of the whole show and how the church didn’t help her in her faith. let’s start with the positive: grace giving up what means the most to her so neither of her friends have to die. it’s the most wwjd moment she has in the whole show, sacrificing herself for, if you’ll excuse the ocean-ism, the Betterment of Humanity. however, she gives up her chastity. not her faith, or her relationship with God, or church attendance, or her love for humanity. that last one isn’t really in line with grace’s character, and that’s exactly my point. all these things should be valued over her virginity. but they aren’t, because the us evangelical church is really obsessed with (their definition of) sexual morality. i say this as someone who is allosexual (not het but) and intends to wait until marriage to have sex because of my christian faith.
the finale is also telling. she revels in her power, because i think you’ve seen church leaders who manipulate and hurt. there continues to be an emphasis on her prudence.
now, not to hijack my religious analysis post with my religious agenda but, i feel bad for her. i’m not going to say everything about us evangelicalism is wrong, i like nuance, and for the same reason i’m not even going to say that about their sexual ethics. i do disagree with some interpretations (mainly the queer stuff), but i do believe any christian has the right to interpret the Bible to the best of their abilities and act accordingly. i’ll never say “you’re going to hell for your interpretation of the Bible” (with one major and irrelevant exception). i am fine with christians following the sexual ethics they feel are right/called to.
the issue is, grace, in her environment, hasn’t had the opportunity to do that work for herself. she hasn’t been able to flourish in her faith in any regard because she’s been encouraged (considering what i’ve gleaned, birth) to focus on virginity and not even think sexually about someone else. that hatred is fine but sex will send you straight to hell. and like. the Bible says sexual sin is a big bad (i personally interpret that to be things like rape, incest, and paedophilia), but it also says the greatest commands are to love God and love your neighbour. those can be difficult when you’ve been taught to look elsewhere from your faith community
basically i want to give grace a deconstruction arc so she can be a happy healthy murdering christian :)
78 notes
·
View notes
Text
There's an idea I see a lot that's basically like, it's important to humanize fascists when we write about them so people understand that regular people can be fascists and that it's not just an amorphous evil, etc.
And I always have this knee-jerk negative reaction to seeing that. And it's not because I don't want people to understand fascism or people who commit right-wing violence or whatever (literally part of my field of study), but that it always seems to sort of be prioritizing the wrong thing.
I've written about this some before on my substack, but it keeps eating at my brain and I am incapable of letting go of stuff, so here we are.
The thing about fascism and about right-wing (esp far-right) ideologies in general is that one of the core tenants of them is that there are inate hierarchies of people, and at the extremes, it's essentially that the people at the top (white cis/het Christian men, in American/European right-wing ideology) are the most human, and the people at the bottom (Black people, in a lot of American right-wing ideology) are the least human.
And we as a society have no trouble humanizing white cis/het Christian men, by whatever definition we're using of humanize. And you need to look no further than how mainstream news organizations cover politics to see that this is true--it's almost a trope at this point that they will cover the opinion of every individual Trump voter at a gas station in Ohio before they talk to anyone else. News organizations show family photos of white murderers and mugshots of Black murder victims. People care about what every sobbing white woman thinks about POC she finds scary but often don't care about getting the other side of the story.
We know that (cis/het not-disabled Christian male) white people are human, because that has basically never been in question in the history of the world (or at least the history of the U.S.), and you can write someone as human without humanizing them--because humanizing is not just about literally writing someone as human (as opposed to, say, a squid), but about showing their individuality in a way that makes them more sympathetic.
Spending your time and energy worrying about humanizing fascists is a little bit like the AP announcing recently that their style guide now says to avoid the term TERF and to focus instead on the specific objections. What you'll end up with is not objectively incorrect, but it gives the microphone to the people who least need or deserve it.
The whole goal of fascists is to dehumanize other people--so if you're so opposed to the fascist ideology, why don't you focus your attention on humanizing those people? Give us the viewpoints and intricacies and individual meaningful human lives of your Black characters, your indigenous characters, your Jewish characters, your Muslim characters, your characters of color, your queer characters, your disabled characters, your female characters.
And this isn't to say that fascists should be presented as amorphous blobs, because that's silly and meaningless. But in a story, you only have limited space and reader attention to spend on building characters out. Why do you want to spend that on the fascists?
124 notes
·
View notes
Text
Before I say anything else, let me be clear that I support trans, nonbinary, and otherwise queer people. I support and want to validate the ways that they choose to present themselves and the things they need to make themselves feel like humans instead of weird dolls that someone slapped a gender onto arbitrarily. This is not a TERF post, I'm not interested in anything TERFs have to say.
Now, with that out of the way, I'm going to do a "woe is me, poor little privileged person" thing, and I'm well aware that it's going to sound dumb, but this blog is basically a virtual diary at this point, and, if you followed me, you signed up to sneak into my room with little flashlights and creep through the pages.
It is SO difficult to hold so-called "normal" or mainstream identities when, in large part, you don't want to have a community with any of the people who also hold such identities. And not just because of them. It's also because of people who are deemed transversive or abnormal. I recognize that this is a purely online problem and that most people who don't match the norm have to hide themselves away in fear lest they be attacked, but I'm not really interested in meeting or doing things with anyone in person, so virtual interaction is what I do. And because I reject everything fascist, white supremacist, evangelical, and misogynistic, most of my curated online experience is very queer. Usually, that's great. I'm not queer myself, but I usually feel like I have more in common with queer people than I do with other cis straights.
But not always.
Here's an example. I get that a lot of people hate the gender binary and find it oppressive. I completely agree that arbitrary gender roles are stupid. I also understand that gender isn't completely binary because, otherwise, nonbinary and agender people wouldn't exist. But people lose me when they say they want to abolish gender entirely. I am a woman and I like being a woman and I have always identified as either a girl or a woman. (Discounting one day when I was 4 and tried drawing hair on my chest with my mom's mascara because I COMPLETELY missed the point of Mulan and thought it meant you couldn't do cool stuff if you were or looked like a girl. My mom clarified things for me.) Taking that away from me would be taking away a big part of who I am and how I define myself. I don't even like the idea of anyone ever asking me about my pronouns, because the idea that someone couldn't be able to tell at first glance that I'm a woman makes me feel gross. Not because being anything besides a woman is gross, but because me being seen as anything other than what I am is. I already feel unsexy and ugly and unattractive on a daily basis, being mistaken for anything but a woman would just make that even worse.
On a similar note, I'm a monogamous person. I like the idea that other people have so much love to give that they don't want to be confined to a single romantic pairing. Sometimes. But, most of the time, hearing people openly describe their relationship goals with terms like, "I don't want to limit myself to one person" and, "It's stupid to think that one person can fulfill all of your emotional needs" is deeply depressing for me. It plants that seed of reminder that even people I think I have a kinship with would never think I'm enough in a relationship, that they would eventually get bored of me and want more because I just can't do it for them on my own. That is devastating to me.
Final example: I'm Christian. Literally no one needs me to explain why Christians are pretty much always the bad guys. Even I have a tendency to cringe away from or otherwise dismiss anyone who calls themselves Christian or talks about Jesus because I know the behaviors and attitudes associated with my religion. But it's still my religion. And seeing people call all religions cults, say we should do away with religion entirely, or claim that religion is the main source of people wanting to murder each other makes me want to bash my head against a wall.
But it doesn't feel like there's an alternative. I'm not talking to people who want to oppress or even murder trans and other queer people. I'm not participating in anything with people who think that enforced monogamy is a good thing. I don't actually see any kinship between myself and predominantly white nationalists who use Jesus as an excuse to do whatever the fuck they want. But it sometimes feels like the only alternative to that is being stuck in a weird "other" box.
I'm not expecting a reward for doing the bare minimum of rejecting the stupid and cruel parts of society. I'm not comparing my "struggle" or whatever to the genuine fear of assault and death that queer people have to deal with on a daily basis. It would just be nice if there was any kind of community that doesn't want to kill or hurt people but is also cool with liking some of the societal constructs we've been born with.
13 notes
·
View notes
Note
I just found this blog and I'm so happy it exists. I was raised in the church and with the area I live in, LGBT+ people are "accepted" readily but at the same time... No one talks about it in relation to Members being Queer. It's like everyone ignores the fact that there is at least 1 queer member in the area because "Oh they aren't part of the church" or something. It's confusing and difficult to be out as anything other than CisHetAllo. I have found that as much as I try, and I feel better knowing about myself, I have found it increasingly difficult to talk about the same things in Online spaces compared to Church spaces. Something always seems to conflict, whether it is members not being particularly supportive of LGBT+ or those online judging Anyone who is a member. (I have had some people I consider[ed] friends make some... Negative... Remarks regarding the church and its members.)
I'm glad to see a space like this existing, where I know that I can be both Queer, and a Member of the church, without being "othered"
Thank you so much. <3
I'm sorry you're having a bit of a rough time of it, but you're right, unless someone is saying to everyone "Hey, I'm here and I'm queer," most Latter-day Saints assume there's absolutely no one at church who is LGBT+.
The LDS Church does have a reputation for being homophobic, so if I say I'm Mormon, other queer people will nod their head and say something about how they know that had to be so hard growing up. Also, the LDS church isn't exactly respected by other Christian denominations, they like to speak of it like it's the punchline of a joke.
A lot of people are becoming aware of the research that shows social media negatively affects young people's mental health and well being. It interferes with their sleeping habits and they spend less time in person with friends and developing their real-world social skills. Social media for youth is associated with problems like depression, cyberbullying, eating disorders. Calls are being made to place limits on the amount of time youth can spend online.
However, research shows there's one group of youth for whom social media has a beneficial impact, and that's LGBTQ youth. TikTok, Tumblr, Discord, YouTube, and so on, are a lifeline. They go from feeling completely alone and no one understanding what they're going through to suddenly discovering there's thousands of people who feel the same way, which is eye-opening and comforting. Not that it's universally good, we still run into hateful speech.
Social media allows LGBT people to explore their identities and find acceptance and emotional support. Some research shows there's a decrease in depression and suicidal thoughts for LGBT youth who are online. It gives them hope and a sense of control. Even when they do encounter harmful things online, they can turn it off, which they can't do with a school bully or family members saying offensive things.
I think for queer Mormons, the experience is even more so like that when you find other LGBT LDS people online. They get you in a way no one else truly does. It is like finding a second home with friends & family. It helps build our resilience. Representation matters. Reading words that are how I feel, that gives us hope and courage.
I'm glad you found my blog. I suggest doing a search for #queerstake, you'll find more posts from other queer Mormons and former Mormons. We even have a discord server we call queerward which is a lively place. I know for me it gives me a sense of belonging. If this was a ward or stake in real life, I would move so that I could be part of it, but it's online so I can access it wherever I am.
29 notes
·
View notes
Note
Genuine question. Please explain to me, why is being queer a sin? Neither consensual homosexuality nor transgenderism hurts anyone. It does no harm and there are a lot of peer reviewed scientific studies (which I cannot currently link because of media links being turned off but I would be happy to find for you if you are interested) that show queer people who are accepted by themselves and their community tend to live longer and happier lives than people who are not accepted. I am admittedly not christian (although some of my family is) so I don't have the best grasp on religion as a whole and I'm genuinely curious to hear your perspective. Why is something that only seems to benefit humanity as a whole considered a bad thing?
NOTE: I'm going to jump around a bit here, so bear with me.
First, yeah, you don't have to prove that people who are accepted by themselves and their communities tend to live much longer and happier lives than people who aren't. That's true of anyone, regardless of who they are or what they believe.
But contrary to popular belief, you are not "born gay/lbt-whatever else". Nobody is. Why? That's not how God designed us.
Here is a little background information on that last point:
God designed marriage to be a union between one man and one woman for as long as both of them are alive. The relationship between a husband and a wife is meant to be a mirror of God's own relationship with the church: God protects His church, just like a husband protects his wife. God gave His life for us, just like a husband is supposed to give his life for His wife if the need arises. And God went to prepare a home for us, just like in ancient times a man would go prior to his marriage to prepare a home for his bride.
But you asked specifically why being queer is a sin. Although homosexuality is mentioned numerous times in the Bible, including
Romans 1:18-32
Leviticus 18:22
Genesis 18:20-19:24
1 Corinthians 6:9-11
1 Timothy 1:9-11
Galatians 5:19-21
Revelation 21:8
Revelation 22:14-16
Matthew 15:19
Mark 7:21
And many more,
The reason that it's a sin is more the fact that it is intellectually dishonest to consider yourself as such. Because like I said, God created humans to be male and female, and to mate one man to one woman. That is what's in our nature.
You may note that some verses only refer to "sexual immorality." In this case, the context of the other verses tells us that this term includes any sexual relations outside those of "one man and one woman married to each other for life."
P.S. in case you don't feel like looking up all those verses above, I've linked this handy explanation for you.
And, I will add that I'm not an expert by any means. This is just a simplistic version of my views.
3 notes
·
View notes
Note
The interlocking of ethnicity and religion and the idea that criticism of a religion hurts certain ethnicities really rubs me the wrong way. There are communities for whom religion and ethnicity are supposedly inextricably linked, but I find this to be an extremely dangerous way of thinking that only serves to single out people within those communities who do not believe what everyone else does. I am extremely skeptical of the idea that ethnicity and religion should ever be equated because of the inevitable harm that idea would cause to the people within those societies for whom religion is oppressive and harmful. This idea that "oh well all of THESE people are christians so any threat to christianity is a threat to them" is at best naive and at worst white-savior tinged racism. Some of the anons here are using minority communities as a cudgel to argue that any anti-christian rhetoric is a call for genocide. It isn't, they know it isn't, and to pretend that it is does a massive disservice to the conversation and to the actual real people living in these communities. Reading "christianity and ethnicity are inextricably linked in this community" only makes me wonder "what does that do to you if you don't fit the mold?" Being different is not a first world privilege.
And no amount of weirdly smug "I sleep easy knowing antitheists will never have their way" childishness is ever going to change my hope that slowly but surely more people will look at their beliefs with a critical eye. Fewer people identify as religious in the world than ever before (https://cps.isr.umich.edu/news/religions-sudden-decline-revisited/) and that is wonderful news.
I don't know what some of the people writing into this blog think atheists want. To go into these places and forcibly deconvert them? To kill everyone who believes in anything atheists don't? That's fucking stupid and no one who actually gives a shit about humanity would suggest those ideas. Those are things evangelists do, and atheists who do suggest these things are those that haven't done any critical thinking beyond "church bad." There are many more religious people who want to kill all atheists than there are atheists who want to kill all religious people. Fuck all of those people, they are few and far between from both angles, and don't use them as a strawman; ignore them because they do not deserve a seat at the table.
What antitheists like myself want is for people to use the information available to them to re-think their beliefs and how what they've grown up being taught hurts them and others. If they do that and still come out thinking that their belief system out of the millions of options is correct, they're either really interesting people with a perspective I'd love to hear or completely batshit, which can also be fun to hear.
--
I reiterate that I like the decline of religiousness, but militant anti-religiousness isn't what causes it. A slide towards being less observant without a radical break does.
Sure, in general Christianity has been a genocidal menace throughout time and space, but we've got that one anon talking about their family members being murdered for being Christian. I rag on Christianity plenty, and I haven't gotten these kinds of responses. I don't think people are responding to blandly anti-Christian sentiments that are very obviously within one cultural context but to some very inflammatory statements that do sound violent.
I don't think you're actually interested in the opinions of theists. If you were, you'd be off talking to a bunch of queer anarchist neopagans or something. Maybe some Vodou practitioners looking for a beauty standard and cultural heritage that values their blackness.
It's easy to find someone who believes in some kind of god but also thinking for oneself, sexual liberation, or whatever else you value. These things may not be the hallmarks of state religion, but there have always been sects that were into them, and there are shittons of modern people who manage to let science and faith coexist.
I do think anti-sex, anti-queer, anti-other religions, etc. etc. messages hurt those faithful and others... but who says all religions teach that?
75 notes
·
View notes
Text
it's my birthday in two weeks.
not a very me way to start a post, i swear i am not doing it for wishes or anything like that, if anyone ever sees this in the first place; i was just writing some very personal things down in my journal (if i can call it such, it's a mess of thoughts and random rants in there really, no structure whatsoever) tonight, and as i was reminiscing my teenage years, seeing that they are conventionally and socially coming to an end soon, i wanted to do something kind of meaningful, instead of just hating my birthday and the weeks before it and being sad all the time like i have done since like. ever. i think?? i remember almost nothing i did or felt before i was eleven. which happens. so. i know my blog is tiny, but for me, it's kind of a great importance to do this right now.
disclaimer: i am not here to give advice to anyone who ever comes across this post. this is not what my role is. that would be sort of unfair, dare i say, since all people experience life differently, even when facing the same situations. <3
so, without further ado, here's ten things i "learnt"/want to tell myself (and maybe another person who might need to hear some of it) before i turn twenty:
(cw: kind of vague and not so vague mentions to mental health in general + some religion things)
1. you don't have to wear this paricular t-shirt in this particular size if it doesn't fit you- there are many different colours and various sizes out there for you to try on, and if you feel uncomfortable sometimes, here, take this jacket. the t-shirt is not going anywhere. it's just being protected, guarded from the outside world, but not your heart. never from your heart.
a. this was both metaphorical and literal.
2. you are not a freak for secretly wishing everything will eventually magically work out like they do in the books you love to be consumed of, kid. you were just a kid with many hopes and dreams. it was fine. it is fine.
3. you didn't have to pretend to like this guy and actually confess your "feelings" to him in middle school just because everyone else was entering relationships that lasted a week and kissed in the school bathroom. but you did. and it's fine. because it was an experience worth having. you needed to dive into the freezing water to actually wake up and start your journey with much, much more than you had in your suitcase even ten seconds ago.
4. on that note, yes, most of the times, when you are queer in a small, rural, christian, balkan town, you don't get many chances of living your truth loudly. but you grew up with all these realisations, which may have seemed terrifying at first, but you did have them, you did question, you did fell in love with someone you weren't supposed to, even from afar, being on your own. i am proud of you, kid.
5. you are not "crazy" for "being too political". you are not a coward for being quiet because you were scared of all this glaring and all these daggers sometimes either. you were younger. now you know a little better.
6. it's okay if you don't look up at the person (or, in your case, god) who used to consume your every thought of awe and admiration anymore, the person (or god) who was the picture next to the definition of "perfection" in your dictionary. people and times change. not everything has to be black and white. swim a little in the gray. do a freestyle once in a while- the butterfly is impressive, but nothing feels like floating around and testing the waters. nothing can compare to the freedom of all this simplicity.
7. your life isn't lost yet just because your mind was either too fast or too slow to keep up with the present. yes, the present shall be cherished- it's a natural gift, it's in the word itself after all. but it's not all over just due to the fact you move across the brain town every other day. you need to push and pull doors. open and close windows. find hands that offer themselves to you- there is at least one person out there who won't take them away when you try to reach them. but you'll find your way. i promise you.
8. you didn't have to raise yourself at some point- or many points, it doesn't matter, though. you didn't have to raise others either. always the listener, never the heard. always the talker, still never the heard. but, for whatever reason (or various reasons), it happened. give yourself a chance. a pat on the back. start taking this weight off your shoulders piece by piece. does it feel any better when you do so? yeah?
9. you don't have to be embarrassed of your interests. of singing an interesting variety of genres every sunday afternoon, during the designated listening to music time. of being excited over your favourite show. of gasping in shock when something unexpected happens in the pages of your current read. of being overwhelmed in the best way possible when entering the cinema or a theatre or a library or a museum, or when walking down the park. of wanting to learn more about this particular historical figure because you couldn't at school, being the perfectionist you are. of trying to write and almost always failing. of tearing up upon seeing a beautiful art piece. of tearing up or crying in general. no one is judging you. and if they are, that's their own issue to address. breathe in. breathe out. you are more than your bad thoughts.
10. slow down, you crazy child/ you're so ambitious for a juvenile/ but then, if you're so smart, tell me/ why are you still so afraid?/ where's the fire, what's the hurry about?/ you better cool it off before you burn it out/ you got so much to do and only/ so many hours in a day...
<3
sorry.
i might delete it later. i might not. i hate being so open, especially on the internet, but all this anonymity gave me an opportunity. and i seized it. plus, i spared all the details. so.
**sigh**
#vent#vent? ish?#i don't know#birthday#birthday blues#so i blow out the candles etc etc#yes i just made a list#so agcd coded of me i know#(as the years go by i realise i am literally him)#(without the extraversion bit i could never)#also i am not being self-centered here#i really needed to get this off my chest#so that maybe another person can see it and realise they are not alone#and i know people have it way worse than me#but yeah#also i am not a swimmer i don't even know why water is such a thing here lol#*swimmer AND i don't#sorry for the simple speech it's like almost three am here#(which means it's almost four am because it's the day when it changes but oh well)
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
What is The Blood of Saints?
So, if you're here, on this page, then you have probably heard about the story I've been working on. Hello! I appreciate your company. I realize that perhaps I should give some sort of a synopsis of this story, and what it means to me as the author.
So... what is The Blood of Saints?
It is a passion project, above all else! I really have no desire to publish it in a professional setting, or seek out financial gain from it. It is, quite literally, just for funsies.
It is also a means of exploration for myself. An exploration of religion, guilt, trauma, loneliness, and sexual liberation. The setting is no accident, either, it was not random. Setting this story in rural Tennessee in the early 1980's was deliberate. While there may be some of the classic elements of horror and suspense in a vampire story, the real horror comes from the regional conflict between Catholicism and Protestantism (particularly, Evangelical Fundamentalism).
My father is a lapsed Catholic from Northern Pennsylvania, my mother a former Christian of the Church of Christ, from Tennessee. I was born and raised in Tennessee, and they both made the decision early on to raise me without any religious affiliation, because all of the churches they attended in the area as a means of testing the waters conflicted directly with their morals.
To put bluntly, they were all a bit horrifying and cultish. This was, of course, the rural American south, post-9/11.
Unfortunately, due to some lingering prejudices, my mother told my father directly that I would not be raised Catholic.
All of these factors led to a very interesting upbringing, a focus more on doing good and being kind just for the sake of it rather than out of fear of my eternal salvation. It also led to some pretty relentless bullying and an intense feeling of isolation that lasted all my life. Couple that with being trans and queer and knowing that I was different in some way, but being unable to place just how I was different, and you've got... a bit of a neurotic mess.
A lot has happened in the last two and a half decades for me to be here, but I ultimately wouldn't change it for the world.
What else inspired this story?
Glad you asked! Besides my kind of weird agnostic upbringing in the deep south Bible Belt, it was, admittedly, inspired by a lot of the media I consume. I've been fascinated by vampires since I was a kid. But it should come as no surprise that Midnight Mass was the biggest catalyst in me even starting this story. The way it delved into religion, loss, love, and evangelism spoke to me. As I said, I've always been agnostic, but make no mistake, I am actually pretty religious. But... just sort of in my own way.
Another piece of media which spoke to me was Wise Blood, both the book by Flannery O'Connor and the movie directed by John Huston. The tone is almost absurdist, and the setting threw me right back into my small town where I grew up, where nothing at all seems to have modernized.
The Exorcist and The Exorcist III were also inspiration for me, the first for the horror elements and the questioning of faith, and the second for its strange and Lynchian tone and imagery.
In terms of music, I was inspired particularly by artists such as K. D. Lang, Nick Cave, Neil Diamond, Simon and Garfunkel, Townes Van Zandt, and Colter Wall.
What else is there, besides religion and vampires? Are there any other horrors?
Possibly. I'll be honest, I'm sort of making this up as I go, but there may be more to everything than vampires and priests and preachers and love and folk music. The Appalachians are an ancient and strange place. Who's to say?
How does it end?
With love. But you'll just have to find out the rest for yourself!
#the blood of saints#writeblr#original story#original fiction#religious horror#appalachian horror#vampirism#catholic horror#catholocism#letters from the author
11 notes
·
View notes
Text
ugh ohmygod so I saw this post and it made me so mad that I simultaneously wanted to reblog it just to rant in the tags and to not reblog it so that I could avoid sharing it with /more/ people
listen. music is universal. when a singer, songwriter, producer, lyricist, musician, team puts something out into the world, there may be emotions that they are trying to put into it. They will draw on these emotions as they perform and edit and refine this thing they are making. There may be a story they are trying to tell, an experience they are trying to communicate, and this may not be straightforward; there is a level of abstraction between conceptualization and realization that I am convinced exists to some level in all pieces of art like this. This is not a flaw; this is marvellous. When I the listener interact with a song, or an album, or an artist's entire body of work - the emotions that I feel and the story that is conveyed to me may be just. absolutely different from the artist's intentions and their own experience. It may resonate with me in an entirely different way than intended; it may resonate with someone else in a separate, distinct, discrete way. My and others' awareness of the artist and any context they have made clear may play a part in this or it may not; it depends on how I interact with music and how readily available this information is.
All this is to say: the only fucked up thing with this whole gaylor shit is the part where people are convinced that their interpretation of her music and the way it resonates with them indicates some fundamental truth about her identity. The only person who knows that is her and frankly it's none of anyone else's business and it's probably not that interesting anyway. But!!! this does not mean that her music cannot resonate with someone's experience of queerness!!!! It is story and song and a vehicle for emotion, and the details that make something sing true to someone's life and values are not pinned to the artist's "true identity" like a fuckin. butterfly to a corkboard. there is VALUE and DELIGHT in being aware of some additional dimension of queerness by virtue of the singers intentions or identity or whatever but that's a fucking BONUS you NIMRODS the only thing you need is a heart to feel things and a song to feel them about it's about YOU and how you interpret things. you change things just by existing!!! the only person to experience a song the way you do is YOU!!! "if I wanna listen to gay music I'll listen to gay ppl singing about gay sex" good for you!! but what a sad and limited life you must lead to need the significance and meaning of art spoonfed to you by author bios.
AND THEN. fucking condescending ass AAAAAAAH listen. christian rock can slap. i say this as someone who is markedly not christian. and even if you don't think it slaps that's fine. but the fact that someone's out here going "oh poor limited babies who've never listened to real proper good music before projecting sasanaru onto christian rock because they've never known anything else" grow uppppp!!! first of all!!! nobody. NOBODY. is out here saying 10,000 reasons by matt whatever is about sasuke and naruto kissing. you know this in your heart of hearts, just like you know deep down that there is VALUE in eking out meaning in places where you don't expect to find it, and in places that have some connection to the earliest parts of you. (and even if you aren't doing this, aren't interacting with the context of the music and its genre, see above re:universal fucking language). you've probably done it before. it's tumblr, land of transformative works and webweaving of course you have. how limited in scope must you be to think that people who listen to a genre you don't value but who are also queer or something must be just poor deprived children, limited in resource, waiting for that next evolution i'm gonna weep. anyway listen to relient k cowards
#listen its 2:40 AM and this is not nearly as coherent as i want it to be considering the things im thinking#this is the galaxy brain thing but in reverse#but if i dont get this out somewhere i will be up all night or i will wake someone up to talk about it and i have work in the morning#and like.#for a long time the thing that made me keep considering holding onto christianity was the music#the emotion it conveys is held up and amplified by community and just by virtue of the songs structure and melodic devices and whatnot#and lyrically theyre full of symbolism and rich language and metaphor and depth!! this is perfectly natural because like it or not they dra#from a historical text thousands of years old with fuckin poetical leanings#it took me a long time to realize that the emotions christian music evoked in me did not necessarily coincide with belief#and a longer time still (and im still working on this) to learn to continue to enjoy and interact with that music without feeling guilt for#that lack of belief#but anyway!! that literary element; the rich language and historical background and symbolism is part of what makes religious imagery in art#in stories and songs and shows#so potent#and to pretend it isn't is dumb#i have now run out of steam gn
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
TW for mentions of child abuse, child neglect, and suicide
I find it so fucking funny how my dad says he loves me. he doesnt. he loves what he wants me to be, who he thinks his daughter is. all hes ever done is try to convince me to be someone else.
Im queer? No, im just brainwashed.
Im an athiest? No, im just young and naive ill be a christian when im older.
Im talking about my intrests? Im annoying and weird
Im hyper? Annoying and weird
I have certain foods i dont like eating? Im too picky, i should just give it a try, who knows i might like it
I have certain foods i really enjoy? I eat too much.
I have any opinion that differs from his? Im fucking brainwashed.
I dont want to get my mom water when i was literally about to go to sleep? Im disrespectful.
I avoid certain chores because of my sensory issues? Im lazy.
I find it hard to sleep at night and due to this have a fucked up sleep schedule? I need to stop, i didnt try hard enough to sleep, im useless.
Im suicidal? I don't have any reason to be, i should just stop wanting to kill myself.
I have severe gender dysphoria? Nope, just brainwashed.
I think him taking me out of school and neglecting my education is harmful? No, im wrong, im just brainwashed, im dumb, i need to try harder to learn.
I dont want to go somewhere with the family because of my severe anxiety and general discomfort around the family? Im just being moody.
Everything i fucking do is wrong to him, everything i am is wrong to him. he doesnt love me. good, i don't love him.
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
Under The Udala Trees and what it has taught me about faith
For Context: I grew up Catholic and have been exploring different religions ever since the pandemic. Many of the Christian religions I don't feel comfortable with. I've gotten prayed over and had attempted exorcisms performed on me. I too have been called an abomination, and that I'm going to help just for being born with my disability. I am so thankful for loving parents who are allowing me to explore my spirituality and religion on my own time.
That being said I was quite shocked when I realized how religious this book actually was without being religious. It’s teaching me a lot of lessons and I didn’t think that this would be the kind of book that would do that. When it comes to queer representation usually religion is looked down upon or scorned, I like that this book has both wonderful clear representation and a positive view of spirituality/religion.
Lesson One: Any religious text is up to interpretation and anyone who truly considers themselves religious will know that. In Under the Udala Trees, mother and daughter have a Bible study where the mom uses many Bible verses to try to condemn being LGBTQ plus. Despite this Ijeoma (The daughter) completes her own face and finds her own interpretations then allow her to be her authentic self while still being close to God. Even though many religious texts condemn certain people, you don’t need to look at it that way. Look at it in the way that makes you feel the best.
Lesson Two: Worship doesn’t always need to take place in a church just wherever you feel comfortable with yourself and closer to peace.“There was no one else around. The place felt extra holy: a hollow sort of holiness, the kind of hollowness that caused me to think of an echoing voice.” (Ch 14) You don't need to be in a church you don't need to pray to get what you need out of the universe, You can just put feelings and thoughts out into the air and that might help. it might not get you exactly what you need because the world's not set up like that but knowing that the world somehow shares a secret with you can make you feel more at peace.
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
You know... part of the reason I had a hard time coming to terms with being a lesbian growing up was because I didn't want to be like my mom. I had been through a lot of trauma that was directly related to her choice in women, and there's definitely something to be said for the difficulties that that caused me, but that's not what this post is about
My point is, when I was a kid the idea of anyone ever thinking that I was like my mother made me angry, and that combined with the internalized lesbophobia that I developed made me especially sick at the idea of anyone ever thinking that I was a lesbian. Even worse, I felt like the homophobes in our family expected me to become a lesbian because of their bigoted ideas that gay parents "corrupt" children. I didn't want to be a lesbian because I didn't want to prove them right and I didn't want to be compared to my mother, so I fought hard against ever being interpreted that way
But now, as someone who's reconnecting with my mom on my own terms and finding out that she's changed for the better? As someone who's secure in their identity as a lesbian and grateful for the opportunities that I've had to engage with the LGBT community throughout my life? As someone who loves my mother in spite of her flaws and recognizes the struggles she faced growing up in the 1970s as the first out LGBT person in a homophobic southern family? I'm proud to be as openly gay as I am and I will not be apologetic for it
I WILL look as queer as possible at our family reunions. I WILL make you respect my girlfriend's pronouns. I WILL speak openly and honestly about the woman I love. I WILL be who I am with no compromises. And I will not engage with you if you don't accept this
My mom had to spend way too many years trying to conform to heteronormative standards for her family's acceptance. She had to hide who she was throughout her childhood, and she had to go through conversion therapy when she was outed. Even as an adult she wasn't able to present the way she wanted or speak openly about her partners. She was the first out lesbian in a family full of southern conservative christians, and she had to live through the hell that her family created for her all alone
...But I am the second out lesbian in a family that supports me for who I am. And I'm the first out nonbinary person in a family that supports me for who I am. And I openly and proudly love all the trans people in my life, who are also fully supported by my family. And there's nothing any of my conservative relatives can do about that. I'm accepted by the family that matters, and I have to be afforded the same respect as everyone else at family gatherings. The homophobes no longer have the power in this situation. I get to be who I am, and if they don't like it they have to leave. They spent decades making my mom's identity a problem for her, and now I'm going to make my identity everyone else's problem. Get with the program or die fucking mad
#i really am proud of how much my mom has grown as a person#and im happy that we have supportive family members now too#my grandma. my great grandma. my grandpas wife#my great grandma was the only one who accepted my mom as a kid and shes always been sweet#when i was in high school i had a huge crush / sort of fling with a girl named tori and i guess my mom talked to her about it#my great grandma said she had heard i had a 'good friend' named tori and when i confirmed she told me how wonderful she thought that was#and that she thought we should go to college and get a nice apartment together after we graduated#i didnt even realize that she /knew/ that i was interested in girls before then but that conversation was so sweet#my nana took some time to adjust to trans issues but once she understands she does a great job of being supportive#she accepted my previous best friend (who i called my brother and my mom called her son) as her grandson#and after my mom explained it to her she always got his pronouns right#my mom has had to explain my girlfriends pronouns to her as well but now she makes sure to use the right pronouns for her too#my grandpa is probably the most conservative person in our family. BUT his wife is extremely sweet#her only reaction to my trans girlfriend was to say that one day the three of us should all get together and have a girls day#and whats he going to say about my girlfriend when his wife is being so supportive of her?#what is ANYONE in our family going to say about me or my mom or my girlfriend when all three of the family matriarchs are supportive of us?#you dont come into nanas house and be mean to her grandkids. you dont act like a dick in front of grandma betty#no one can talk shit about my mom for being a lesbian anymore when im there being an even BIGGER dyke and theyre required to be nice to me#and if any of my cousins ever come out theyll be safe now too#i painted myself into a big enough target that every other target would look tiny in comparison#and now that my grandmas have said that no ones allowed to shoot at me everyone has to put down their guns#and im pretty fucking proud of that tbh#thank you for paving the way for me mom. i know you went through a lot#ill take over from here#rambling
33 notes
·
View notes
Text
So I'm once again seeing so-called "conservative" content on my dash...
...and I'm just not having it.
There's a LOT that goes into my worldview and the way it was formed and the nuances and philosophy that formed who I was growing up and who I am now, but, to use the broadest of all possible strokes, it boils down to this:
Whatever side Nazis take is the side I will go out of my way to end!
Everyone who just stood up (and has a Nazi armband in their back pocket, safely out of sight so you think we'll give you pass to vomit the shit you let clot your corrupted, rotting cranial cavity), SIT THE FUCK DOWN AND SHUT UP!
And yes, we have Nazis. Turns out they didn't all get the bullet after killing all the queers, Jews, and whatever people of color they could get their hands on (SHUT UP! Fuck your Holocaust denial! You don't get a FUCKING VOTE if you try to PISS ON THE GRAVES OF MILLIONS OF PEOPLE!), some of them just hid because they knew what would happen to them if they opened their mouths and tried that shit again!
But here we are a few generations later and it seems the Nazis forgot how hard we stomped down on them eventually.
I was an American Conservative once, too. I learned from all the right places and right people about how modern conservatism was a good thing and the right thing and we had to "stop the libs" in order to keep our country from turning into a new Soviet state or something.
And in some ways, I haven't changed my mind, but that's for another post, because the opinions I still have from then are STILL THE OPPOSITE OF THE SIDE NAZIS ARE ON!
Even up to the start of the pandemic, I was still staunchly conservative, pushing back against what I saw as liberal pushes to subvert our country and make things worse for everyone.
Then: "...oh, uh...that's a Nazi. Saying the same things I'm saying. That's okay, 'cause the conservatives in leadership positions will surely repudi...ate...them... They're agreeing with them."
"Well, that's okay, I'm sure my fellow conserv...I'm surrounded by Nazis, aren't I?"
Myth after conservative lie after "evangelical christian" talking point were knocked over like pins in a bowling alley. Things that I had been told over and over were just facts of life were having the masks ripped off and exposed for being the greedy old rich white man trying to fuck over the "punk kids," usually largely people of color and queer folk.
Am I mixing metaphors a little? Yeah, probably, but I'm fucking MAD AS FUCK that these FUCKERS ARE GOING TO BE A THING EITHER I OR MY DAUGHTER HAS TO DEAL WITH!
Why do I hate Nazis so much? Well, in no particular order:
They KILL PEOPLE FOR BEING DIFFERENT FROM THEM
They burn books that contain opinions that they don't like
They KILL PEOPLE FOR BEING QUEER
They don't actually produce anything, they just consume and conquer and play a shell game with their economy (whatever the size) and when the music's about to stop they hold the band at gunpoint and keep things going until it eventually collapses, then they blame someone else. (Usually, the Jews, and if that doesn't work they blame the queers)
They KILL PEOPLE BECAUSE OF THE MELANIN CONTENT OF THEIR SKIN
They concoct psuedoscience to support their beliefs, resulting in intellectual stagnation that, if passed down to their children, becomes entrenched
They KILL PEOPLE BECAUSE THEY DON'T LIKE THE LOOK ON SOMEONE'S FACE
Oh, and in case I may have glossed over this part:
I HATE NAZIS BECAUSE THEY KILL PEOPLE JUST BECAUSE!
Scratch a Nazi and you'll find a school bully. Plant a school bully and in 10-20 years you'll have a fresh-from-the-plantation Nazi. (word choice was deliberate, because you can't corrupt a child to view their fellow human beings as sub-human without showing them how to treat them as sub-human)
And I think we all know what Steve Rogers did with Nazis.
Did you question the results of the 2020 election? I mean, there were a bunch of people saying some really bad things about election tampering and the like.
...and they all turned out to be white supremacists and Nazis. All their "evidence" was smoke and mirrors and if you questioned the Nazi rhetoric you were a dirty [N-word] or [K-word] or [F-word] or [T-word] and probably voted for Biden!
Did you think the Jan. 6th Insurection was a grassroots movement and it was just a bunch of people trying to take their country back? Yeah, and I'm sure a bunch of them thought so too...but even more of the insurrectionists turned out to be white supremacists and Nazis. And look at that, they were being FUCKING ORCHESTRATED by Republicans who wanted to seize power from duly elected officials. And supported by Nazis.
We're at the point in history where they're not even trying to hide what they're doing, or if they are trying, they're failing. ("Project 2025," anyone?) The same people who are saying the quiet part out loud now (how they think Jews should be put to death and blacks should be enslaved and brown people need to be mass deported regardless of nation of birth and all queer folk should be rounded up and shot, etc.) are the same people who believe that Trump should have king-level powers and immunity and cheered on the passage of laws that restrict medical care for women and children (with the goal of extending that restriction to adults that fall into the category of "people we don't like") and the same people who cheer for Putin as he spins lies out of whole cloth to invade Ukraine and the same people who declared the vaccines were going to kill you or plant trackers in your body and the same people who said respiratory masks were the government trying to police your actions and the same people who said that the rioters carrying tiki torches and calling for racial segregation were "just good American boys who don't mean any harm" and the same people who...
...I think you get the point.
The Nazis were in our midst the whole time, they just weren't waving a flag or wearing an armband.
I've been burned. I've been burned badly. I've had my trust in the conservative movement gutted, my faith in America shaken, and my previous worldview shattered. You'd better believe I'm hyper-aware when it comes to dog whistles, false flags, and code-speak. And remember, I used to be one, so I know the conservative playbook.
I may not be able to actually kill a Nazi, but get 'em banned on social media? Get 'em blocked on chat apps? End their influence before it starts wherever I can? You bet your ass I'm going to take whatever action I can to end the threat before it becomes my daughter's problem.
Because my daughter is growing up well aware that one mom is queer and the other mom Gets Looks™️ and is culturally guilty of being queer by association. My kiddo is well aware the world she's going to inherit is a place that could be very, very bad.
And my daugher is neurodivergent.
Which means she has a hardwired sense of fairness and justice.
Which means she's going to step up in the bravest and most noble way possible, and I want to make sure when she finds that hill to die on that her mom has done the hard work before her and she's not actually gonna die on that hill.
'cause she hates Nazis as much as I do.
And that means it's bad news for Nazis, because my hatred of Nazis pales in comparison to how much I love and want to protect my daughter.
So if you're a Nazi, just remember, I'm with The Captain.
No, not that one, this one:
And remember, if you're standing with the Nazis? Even if you say you're "not a Nazi," it's awfully hard to tell, what with the red, white, and black flag you're standing under.
#this isn't politics#“politics” isn't about giving literal nazis a platform#I refuse to give literal murderers and racists the same consideration as someone who differs from me on fiscal policy
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
it occured to me that i have a lot of bi headcanons for lost where it’s like, the character hasn’t accepted it yet. part of this is because 2004 to 2007 was somehow still having issues grappling with this concept
so i’m making a list of bi headcanons in lost, but it’s the characters who haven’t accepted it and why they haven’t yet (or ever)
internalized biphobia ahoy!
jack
he’s attracted to women so rationally he’s not gay, right? yeah he’s using the it’s one or the other logic. jack knows there’s nothing wrong with being gay. he’s just not gay. that’s fine. it’s fine. [shakes images out of his head]
also i know in my heart that christian and margo are queerphobic. not in the full on getting the belt out way but in the passive aggressive way
claire
she just assumes all straight women feel this way about women and it takes a while for it to occur to her that she’s just in a bizarre form of denial
desmond
he regards his experiences with other men in the army to be “experimenting” and he chooses not to dwell on it
richard
it just took a reeeeally long time for him to find his closet key (miles). the bisexuality was always waiting inside him, it just didn’t unlock until he was like 179 ish. and yes, miles finds this fucking baffling in a “you’re this hot and you’ve been alive this long and you haven’t been getting both kinds of ass??” way
ben
he grew up aware that queer people exist (dharma being a hippie commune) but also instilled in him that it’s weird and gross (roger). but also i think ben has a weird view of sexuality, that sexual desire makes people... weaker? in the sense that he’s observed that people act foolish for sex and love and therefore such emotions are a weakness and he’s better than that
so it’s a weird thing where ben isn’t homophobic to other people (if tom, greta and bonnie are any indication) but he is to himself. but he’s also shaming himself for having sexual desire at all. i think cuz he’s convinced himself that he’s selfless and utterly devoted to jacob and the island. sometimes he almost believes his own lies. but yeah anyways touching himself makes him feel icky, whether it’s about men or women or both so... yeah
locke
okay, locke is bi to me but i’ve always been ? about his sexuality because wow, locke feels like such a nonsexual being to me. so like does locke know he’s bi? i think so? but i don’t think he’d ever call himself that
i think if you asked, locke would say “i don’t wanna label it” or something
besides anything else, he’s an older man who grew up in the foster care system, i have to assume he grew up hearing that being queer is a Bad Thing
locke doesn’t agree but he’d rather not commit to the concept. like, maybe locke thinks being Gay would require him to do things or act a certain way rather than just be. so he’s just like “i am what i am” and stares at a sunset
sawyer
okay now here’s a bitch who actually would be homophobic, biphobic, etc. and it’s directed at himself also. he’s got an idea in his head of what gay dudes are like and no way is he like that so he’s not gay. as for being bi, i think if somebody (eg. charlie) said they were bi, he’d roll his eyes because he thinks they’re saying it for attention. “oh yeah everybody’s bi nowadays, pfft”
also i think sawyer thinks bi people, if they exist, are just people who have threesomes all the time. all the while, he is bi and he’s just making himself not confront it. and hey, even if he was, ya know, queer - not that he is - he’s giving not taking so it’s less gay, obviously. yeah, his bisexuality got all tainted by toxic masculinity. i love sawyer but i ain’t gonna pretend he ain’t got some macho posturing shit going on. and he’s canonically bigoted
shannon
making out with girls is just something you do for fun, haha it’s just silly time, it doesn’t mean anything, it’s not like Real Love, haha, your lips are so soft...
....oh
boone
a combo of not wanting to be mocked and a bad case of “it doesn’t count if”. it’s just porn, it doesn’t count because it’s not real. as long as i don’t do stuff with a dude, it doesn’t count. okay so i did stuff with a dude, but it was a threesome and a girl was there so it doesn’t count. okay okay i did stuff with a dude and it wasn’t a threesome but he never put it inside me so it doesn’t count. okay this dude put it inside me but-
and so on
(and to make it weirder, i think boone would just be gay if shannon didn’t exist. like the Wants Girls part of his sexuality only exists because of her. yikes)
anyways
assume that other characters i consider bi had issues with it when they were younger but are pretty much over it by the time of adulthood (tho charlie does grapple with it. like he’s accepted being bi in a “well, there’s no hope for me anyways” kind of way, so it’s... back handed self acceptance?)
thank you for your time
#lost headcanons#i just felt like talking about internalized biphobia today???#fiction as a form of self expression indeed#some of my own experiences were used for this#and characters like kate and charlie and the sci trio all know that about themselves#not to say all of them fully Accept it (charlie has weird feelings about it) but i mean that they Know#i dunno where the sexually repressed ben headcanons came from. i started thinking that way a long time ago and didn't let go#i've gone into how i think dan felt weird about it at first but it had nothing to do with desmond being a man#daniel faraday has achieved a zen like state of queer acceptance#the bit i wrote about shannon gets sadder the longer i think about it :(
6 notes
·
View notes
Last Seen Blogs
wintertundra-art
One More Light
malekiht
We're all going to hell
vincentgerbouin
Vincent Gerbouin
pussykittys
Pussykittys
hedwigbarrycrumb
...et cetera...