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zeldasnotes · 5 months

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𝔩𝔦𝔩𝔦𝔱𝔥 𝔫𝔬𝔱𝔢𝔰 ☠️

• Lilith sextile MC makes someone an expert at using whoredom, slutness and rumors to their benefit while people with the square or opposition seem to suffer bc of it. Like dont even try to leak a private picture of a Lilith Sextile MC person bc they will probably just put it as their profile pic or something.

• Cancer Lilith/Lilith 4th house ppl can be fascinated with the ”family matriarch” position. A common theme there is that they were mistreated by a dominant motherfigure and then they grew up to become like that themselves.

• Venus aspecting Lilith especially the hard aspects can make someone compared to their partners ex or they might be the ex people compare with the new girl.

• @punksocks mentioned in her post how Lilith in Sagittarius might make someone attracted to someone from a religious background thats considered taboo to them. And Ive seen this so much. I know a muslim man from Albania and every woman hes been attracted to was a christian from Serbia. His whole life his parents have been talking shit about Serbia and what happened in the war they fled from. He ended up converting to christianity and married a serbian woman.

Lilith trine/sextile/conjunct Mercury seems to give a brilliant mind.

• Lilith can shows something you learned the power of and also the darkness off early in life:

Lilith in Libra learned early the power of beauty & charm. The power of being liked. But also the darkness of relationships and hidden undercurrents between people.

Lilith in Scorpio learned about sex early and how important it is to never be in a situation where you are powerless.

Lilith in Cancer learned the power of women early. Usually there was a mother or stepmother who ruled the family with an iron fist & were the spider in a huge web of family drama.

Lilith in Aries learned the power of making others afraid of you early. They learned early what can happen if people see you as a pussy.

Lilith in Virgo & Pisces learned the power of innocence early. Being a wolf in sheep clothing. Being seen as ”pure” & good.

• I remember seeing the video where Blueface tells Jaidyn ”get her!” to get Jaidyn to fight someone for him (extremely unattractive of both of them but anyways) and It reminded me of Lilith conjunct Mars synastry. I looked up their charts and ofc Blueface Lilith conjunct Jaidyns Mars. Because I had this synastry with a guy I knew when I was like 13 and I remember telling him those exact words when a guy bothered me bc I knew he would get him lolll. I call this synastry aspect ”the bodyguard placement”.

• Blueface is such a Leo Lilith. His need to be the lion king and to be praised is strong as we can see on his reality show. ”In the series, a group of women were invited to live in Blueface's home for a month and attempt to compete for his affection. ”

• The ”The girl he told you not to worry about” sitaution just screams Lilith Synastry. And im not saying that men like the woman he talks shit on. Liking is NOT the same as obsession and desire. Its just that some ppl talk shit about the person they couldnt get while being with their 2nd option. And Adam couldnt be with Lilith because she refused to lay under him so he was with Eve. This is why people very often have Lilith synastry with ”the person they told you not to worry about”.

• A mans Lilith conjunct a womans Venus or Moon is a synastry aspect Ive seen in like 99% of cases where the man is married and the woman is like a thousand years younger than him. And most times the whole relationship revolved around how forbidden it was.

• Lilith in Gemini/3rd house are some scary mf when it comes to turning others against someone. Not saying ppl with this placement will do that but IF they do they know what to say. My sister have this placement and there are still people who refuse to talk to me after the beef we had in 2018 bc she told them the freakiest stuff about me.

• Lilith 3rd house kids might say stuff that the adults dont like. Might listen to conversations between adults when they are supposed to be asleep. Calling people out or asking uncomfortable questions.

• If you have Lilith in the 1st or 10th house in the Fama Persona Chart you might be the ”neighbourhood hoe”. Or known to be rebellious & bitchy.

• Lilith 2nd house makes someone constantly look for worth either in others or in themselves. ”Worth” is a huge theme here. They might add to their partners worth in the eyes of society by having more money than them, being more beautiful, famous etc or they will be the one looking for a partner with these things who will give them more ”worth” which is why this placement is so common in a lot of golddiggers, trophywifes, sugardaddies, sugarbabies, escorts etc.

• People with Lilith in the 9th house or Lilith in Sagittarius seem to often either have a look that fits the standard of another cultural background than their own or desire the look of another background. Ive seen this in the chart of people who have been doing asian fishing, black fishing, cultural appropriation. (And no not everyone with this placement ofc. Im just saying in the charts of ppl who were called out for doing these things I saw this placement pop up a lot.)

• Lilith 11th house people seem to always find eachother. Same with people with Lilith in the 1st house.

• Lilith Square Pluto might act out of character when they are not in control. They might force things to go their way and could be scared of situations where they dont have the upper hand.

• Lilith 1st house might like to shock people with their style or behaviour. For example Marilyn Manson.

• Lilith aspecting Sun tends to create an extremely strong personality and willpower.

• Lilith 11th house synastry can create issues with eachothers friends. Everytime I had this with a guy it was always one of his friends strongly disliking me and trying to get him to not be with me or vice versa.

• Lilith 10th house synastry can lead to a lot of powerstruggles. One of them might have a bad influence on the others reputation or be jealous/fascinated by the others public image.

#astro notes #astrology #astro observations #astronotes #lilith #lilith aspects #lilith conjunct sun #lilith 1st house #lilith conjunct ascendant

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nanaminsmoon · 8 months

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wasn't gonna post today but then this happened so i had to write something quickly bc i can't get him it out of my mind😭. (mdni. 18+)

letting you find out that he wore nothing underneath that robe had been one of choso’s worst decisions to date. the initial unveiling of that information had been so casual of an incident that he hadn’t even realised its magnitude until he started feeling its ramifications. there had been no ulterior motive behind his walking into your shared bedroom, stripping himself of his outside clothes though, to you, it had seemed otherwise. because ‘chaste’ was no word to describe the way his lidded eyes married themselves to your own while their owner made quick work of laying himself bare at the foot of your shared bed. though you had (barely) played it cool at the time, the sheer thought of choso going about his day with that old ass robe being his only barrier from complete nudity had plagued your every waking moment. your conscious mind’s depraved sickness would seep its way into your bloodstream, travelling through your system at light speed, to infect your entire body. soon you’d be no more than a host body for a lewd parasite, driven by a hyperfixation with your boyfriend’s body. it’d first gain control of your arms, initiating affection in a way that wouldn’t alarm him; back-hugs that’d be corrupted the second you’d feel his toned abdomen through the vintage fabric. then it’d have your hands travelling up his sleeves every time he’d embrace you; fingertips inconspicuously grazing his skin as they made their way to his back, where the flashbacks they’d induce would send shivers through him. still, choso thought nothing of it. it wasn’t until you started purposely brushing your ass against him each and every single time you walked past him, that he realised something was amiss. covert provocation of your usually calm and collected partner lasted all but a few days before you were overtly pushing yourself into his crotch—knowing full well that the lack of obstruction meant he’d feel all of it. but it also meant you felt all of his hardening length the harsher you ‘accidentally’ pressed into him. it’d all be brushed off until one fateful day where you pushed the line far past choso’s patience threshold, and his large hand would be enveloping your neck from behind,

“cut that shit out”, had been said as a warning, but had been interpreted as a challenge to further push the limits and move yourself farther back onto his growing bulge.

“cut what out?”, you’d pouted innocently, shifting your hips to entice more strained groans from choso’s lips. once he’d composed himself, he’d done nothing but chuckle at you. a few moments later, his chiding hand was still on your neck yet it’d serve a different purpose; holding you still as he pounded into you from behind.

“this”, he’d pull out just to slam back into you again, “cut this out”, he’d imitate your previous position, yet with vengeful vigour as he aimed to give you a sour rendition of your own perverted medicine. revenge had never been so rewarding; even despite the harsh way he fucked into you—a feeling that urged your body to move you away from his grasp after every thrust. but every attempt would be denied by choso's speedy reflexes,

“nah, don’t run from me, baby”, those words had escaped the captivity that was his gritted pearly whites, while his grip remained firm as ever, “this is what you wanted, so take it”, he’d sneered. as vindictive as his actions may have seemed, choso's hips weren't powered by anger but by the embarrassment he had faced at not being able to control his body. it was the shame he had felt at not being able to withstand mere brushes to his dick. the fact that his willpower had not been strong enough to keep him together as you teased him for days on end. so much so that he couldn't stop himself from fucking you, even as you both came time and time again. there really had been no malintent behind him choosing to roam around completely bare underneath his robe but, now knowing that these were the consequences of his actions, he wasn't keen on wearing underwear anytime soon.

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constantvariations · 1 year

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V9C6

Pro tip: never let someone who doesn’t understand the RP in RPG run a DnD campaign

Post Ep: quite possibly the best episode of the season so far. Things actually happened for once, and it was all character focused. By V9 standards this is an absolute masterpiece

Hey the OP changed to show Jaune’s ugly ass breaking the 4th wall. Don’t care about your sad face dude

Oh goddammit not this 1st POV shit again. I get doing it for Ruby bc yknow. Main character. Show’s named after her and everything. Jaune? Not so much

So we don’t even get an indication of when Jaune originally showed up? Where even is he?

Ah yes, let’s just skip right past the trauma of someone waiting literally decades for people he knows are coming but not when to have some silly whoosh sound effects and bullet fast questions

One thing I will say is I much prefer this voice to his usual. It’s far more natural and far less grating on my soul

WHY ARE THEY MAKING WEISS LIKE THIS. WHO IS THIS BITCH AND WHERE IS THE REAL WEISS

Like, if she’d shown any interest in an older man before this then, fine, Weiss would be into older men, but this is coming from literally fucking nowhere and feels like, yet again, the writers are catering to themselves via their pet rather than thinking about what the characters would actually do

“We got everybody out” think you’re missing a few dozen folks. Yknow. The ones who Cinder exploded off the bridge? Even if the explosion killed all of them, which is statistically unlikely, there would still be bodies somewhere. Thanks to the timey whimey fuckery, we could see them falling from the sky at any time, which would be gruesome as fuck but a very poignant moment of failure for them all

Aaaaaand once again the team’s attempts to have a proper fucking discussion about their past actions and the subsequent consequences interrupted. By fucking Jaune. Goddammit

“What cat?” Does Jaune not know the story or is he attempting to clarify it’s Curious instead of some other resident? Also, damn that was actually a good bit of voice acting. Is this Luna or is someone else playing Elder Banana Boy?

The framing of Curious Cat under clear skies to Jaune under dark clouds is really fucking good. Wonder if the protruding jackalope antlers means something or if it’s just too big to leave out of frame

“This place really is the pits” I’m not entirely sure this is something Weiss would say, but punderful crossroads ig

So the tree is the source of the Againing? I feel it’d be more impactful if residents went to the tree willingly, like a sacred pilgrimage, rather than being dropped through a hole

Though this does present an interesting choice for Ruby: go to the tree and become someone new or continue with the choices and responsibilities. It must be incredibly tempting

“[Yang and Blake] must’ve had something bigger to work out.” Shut the fuck up their romance isn’t even tied to any character arcs or thematic problems; they’ve just been circling each other for fucking seasons while ignoring everything and everyone else. This is NOT bigger than what’s already at hand

Ah yes, the perfect solution to force a romantic confession: dangling people on a rickety bridge in high winds. Guess that brings a new meaning to “falling for you”

“So, what, Alyx lied?” Damn sure would be nice to know the actual story so we can feel the same betrayal the characters do

God can I just skip over the high rise bumblebee moments? I’m cringing so hard my intestines are straightening out. Also is it just me or is the animation around these parts really strange? I can’t put my finger on it but it’s wigging me out

Not entirely sure how I’m feeling about this Alyx reveal. Would it really have been so wrong for an innocent, naive girl in strange and overwhelming circumstances to make terrible mistakes? Wouldn’t that be far more relevant to Ruby’s own journey, especially if Alyx never learned to take responsibility? Especially if one of those mistakes cost her a brother she never spoke of again, perhaps eventually even forgot due to the guilt?

Idk this kinda feels like another complicated, morally grey situation being boiled down to “bad person hurt good person so we hate the bad person." Also, not great that she and the dead bro are the only ones darker than milk this season. Gr8 representation rt

“You have cat ears!” ...why are we alive? Just to suffer? I swear this volume has made more of a fuss about Blake’s status as a “non-human” than all other volumes combined. SHE IS JUST A HUMAN WITH CAT EARS I’M GOING TO EAT A FUCKING FRIDGE

“Maybe it’s saying things we’ve never said to each other.” Damn y’all haven’t really done any talking about anything so if that’s the rule y’all could reach the platform by straight up talking about the weather or books and videogames

Also this forced confession feels really icky. They’re basically hostages to the environment. It’s not cute that the confession is coming out of this situation, it’s fucking appalling. Especially when you consider how much better and more natural it would’ve been in V6 or V7. Hell, I’d take a wildly out of place kiss in V8 rather than this

I think Blake should’ve been the one to say it first. She’s the one with the running away problem, so her being the one to step up and face her fears in such a personal manner would be far better for her character arc than urging Yang to take the leap instead

“You never give up on people, even when they hurt you.” Adam Taurus and every White Fang member she’s killed is calling bullshit. Blake never tried reaching out to any of these people and clearly had no problem slicing and dicing them for the sake of humans who give zero shits about faunus rights

“You never give up” I think her retreat in V4 counts as giving up, Yang, but you wouldn’t know that because you’ve NEVER FUCKING TALKED

Huzzah, a kiss! Now, how about a proper, healthy relationship?

So Curious knew the story all along? Which means we didn’t have to suffer that obnoxious, self-righteous snore of a “love letter to the fandom” because it was required for the plot. We suffered it because the writers wanted us to suffer. Thanks I hate it

I really like the checkers going dull when Curious gets sad. They’re genuinely the best part of this volume, followed only by that gorgeous mushroom forest. I just wish their colors were better. There’s a difference between bright and eyestrain, and they very much are the latter

“You used me in the same way I’ve only seen [indecipherable] for knowledge and entertainment.” Firstly, can I get some goddamn captions please my family is starving. Secondly, go get em baby I got yo flower

Damn did they rip that house straight from the ps2? What the fuck

Ah, bathos. Possibly the worst literary crime possible. Why would we ever ruminate on the fact that Ruby and co. have been using people and making lives worse everywhere they go when we can watch Blake and Yang suck face?

Also, I’m fairly certain that, out of the two of them, Yang would be the one to pop a leg

“I think Alyx traded [Louis] to the tree [in order to leave]” Is that what Ruby’s gonna propose? Being traded so everyone else can go home? Doubt the tree will allow such an uneven trade to begin with, but, once again, a tempting idea

Why is Ruby having an episode over Cresent Rose’s return? Is it the reminder of what happened at the V8 crossroads? The responsibility it represents? The identity she no longer has?

This would be easier to understand if we had any build up. If the return of her weapon is going to be this heavy, then the loss of it at the beginning should have made a serious impact. But it didn’t. She didn’t even look for it. Never once talked about it. Outside of fights, Cresent Rose’s absence has been completely ignored

And why is no one seeing her very clear and obvious distress yet AGAIN? WBY cheer when she gets it back, but it makes them seem ignorant to the point of callousness. Par for the course this volume, but the longer it goes on, the less I actually care about any of this

If her supposed friends, including the overprotective sister who apparently raised her, don’t notice Ruby waving more red flags than Sayaka Miki, then why should I be bothered whenever it’s happening? If the story keeps dragging her symptoms out episode after episode, cutting the scene any time it feels like we’re about to get somewhere, then why should I invest any energy into it? If the story doesn’t care, why should I?

Luna is, indeed, still the voice of Jaune. Great improvement, boyo, keep this voice for him forever

#rwde #so when is jaune gonna talk abt penny #whens he gonna admit he stabbed her in the heart #hows he going to say it now that hes had decades to come to terms w it but for them penny was alive like. yesterday #or even this morning #thats what im waiting for. thats the shit i wanna see #bc i think thats gonna be the thing that makes ruby break #i wanna see her shatter then figure out what to do w the pieces #im genuinely sad abt Curious tho #i like the little guy despite him being an eyesore #but now that hes gone were gonna have to deal w fucking little again arent we #eat that fuckign mouse right now #also there were a lot of interesting hooks in this ep #alyx and louis. the tree being the source of agains. Curious leaving them behind #more and more consequences are piling up on the team. v interested to see how they handle it #and now that the bees are canon hopefully theyll remember that other people fuckign exist #yang your sister is potentially going to reset herself. maybe you should take notice instead of sucking face

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thedreadvampy · 1 year

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I mean not to keep Trauma Posting but it's such an emotional Experience to see people falling over themselves to call 14-17 year old girls children now when selling a narrative of racialised corruption of white innocence. but when it comes to me and my pals 16, 15, 14 or even 12 is apparently plenty old enough to know what you're doing, be responsible for adult men wanting to sleep with you, and is about you as a Grown Up Teenager making Stupid Choices. you know. because it's white men doing it.

(less generalised trauma processing under the cut)

the word "grooming gang" is coming up a lot which is having an interesting effect where I'm like oh hey yeah. these guys were all friends with each other and did all invite each other to teenage girls' houses and assault each other's teenage girlfriends and vociferously agree that we all ought to play a Sexy Game in this room of teenagers, their adult boyfriends and their adult boyfriends' adult friends

yeah like. we all knew if you went to a party with 30yo A, 26yo B would try and fuck you, and had raped several of our friends (which was recieved as them having cheated). we all knew A was regularly cheating on his 17yo fiancee with her 16yo friends. B's friends were all in their 20s-30s and invited their teen GFS and their friends to their houses regularly. parties with these men consisted of strip spin the bottle, heavy drinking and 'no, stay here tonight, you can sleep on the sofa don't worry about where my hands are'.

idk I've never really thought about it in these terms, bc we usually only hear the word "grooming gangs" in a racialised sense. but yeah like. yeah.

(I got off pretty lucky tbh cause I was felt up and photographed and eyed up but don't think I actually got pulled all the way into that group, I never "dated" any of those guys and while a couple of them made passes at me that made me deeply uncomfortable I didn't end up having sex with any of them.)

(but it was definitely all around me and a lot of my friends were really long term coerced and passed around these guys. which made the sexual assault, rape and coercion I was experiencing from other adult men at the same time feel super normal and not like something I could reasonably push back on.)

(and that's persisted tbh, I still struggle to think of 15-17 as a Vulnerable Child Age bc I was made to think of it as being skeevy-but-normal-and-ok for men in their 20s and 30s to be really pushy and predatory.)

#red said

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krisiverse · 2 years

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Hey same anon here. So... no offence but do you think people who ship something slightly controversial are going to just not interact with the rest of the fandom at all? I'm sure you're set in believing it's a bad ship but I really don't think everyone who ships it is a Bad Person on principle. Like them putting shipping in a separate blog with a similar url to their main is probably not them being secretive to get around dni's. Because this just in, anyone can get around dni's by ignoring them...

Shippers of controversial ships keep things separate from their main account usually to avoid subjecting people who don't want to see something to that thing, and to avoid getting hate/being called out, which is what you're doing....

Also, I don't think everyone who ships one lesbian cousin inc*st ship is inherently a proshipper... Most fans of the ship are just regular splatoon fans who contribute a lot to the fandom. I would know, a lot of people in the notes on your post have supported posts from an explicitly aohota blog

Also respectfully, I guess you want to warn people of someone shipping it but I think people can make that judgement call on their own... Filling the tag which is already separate from the main fandom tags with hate and putting individuals on blast seems more harmful than shipping fictional characters imo

hi im going to address these points one by one and out of order, im tired today

actually, you make a good point with it being put in the ship tags, i'll fix that. regardless of everything else i know how much it sucks to go into a tag for something you like and be met with hate for it

second um... incest shippers ARE proship by definition, because it means pro- ships that involve incest or pedophilia or both. there are probably other things that fall under that definition but those are the two big ones, so im sorry to say that is literally what it means

the point of a dni is that you enforce it by blocking people. there's actually been a history of people making blogs like that for the purpose of evading blocks- the main example i can think of is terfs making innocent-seeming main blogs with the express purpose of infiltrating trans-positive communities who would otherwise block them on sight. the fact that people in the notes have interacted with callie/marie shippers is exactly what i was trying to alleviate with that post, because the tags are obscure enough that a lot of people may not know what it means & interact unknowingly.

do i think everyone who ships problematic content is a "bad person"...? no, not really. they're often perfectly nice and kind and all that. but do i think they should keep to themselves and stay out of the larger splatoon community, besides others who are pro- or neutral to these kinds of ships? well... that WOULD be pretty unreasonable to ask, wouldn't it? but the thing is... someone being proship puts all those interactions into a different light. i shouldn't have to worry, if i make a post about callie and marie, that someone is going to interpret it sexually. i shouldn't have to worry if i make a post about one of them individually that someone is going to take it and apply it to their romantic/sexual dynamic of the two. it's something that makes me extremely uncomfortable, and it's a boundary i can only enforce by blocking (since as you said people can simply ignore dnis.)

which brings me to my last point... y'all have your space, which I unthinkingly put hate in and for that i'm genuinely sorry, but we have our own boundaries which we can ONLY enforce via dnis and/or blocking. the only thing we can really do to keep our space our own is to block, both the tags and the people that post in them, and that's all i told people to do; obviously i can't actively force anyone to block people, that's just my suggestion to keep them from unknowingly interacting bc other posts from people will show up even if they have the tag filtered.

i called out that particular person in the tags because they stood out to me, with the experience i'd had with the two blogs; also because i couldn't really name other active members of the community, seeing as i have nearly everyone there blocked already. my intention is to spread awareness, not to incite harassment, and if they're getting harassed (or if you'd like to avoid that possibility) i can delete those tags, likely instead putting them as part of a larger blocklist rather than focusing on one person. but again, that one person stood out to me and i wanted to prevent others from having the same experience.

i think that's all for rn, thank you for the ask and your understanding. feel free to send more asks, or if the person in question would like to talk to me directly, i would be willing to unblock them to have a discussion if they so choose

#slight addendum: the fact that people can ignore dnis is half the reason i don't have one personally #instead i block or softblock people who follow that i'm uncomfortable with #having minimal information in my bio also helps keep anon hate to surface level things cause they dont have anything to talk about lol #discourse #proship tw #asks

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moiraineswife · 3 years

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Jasnah and Wit - Presentation Meta

Part 1 of the great saga of Witsnah “WELL ACTUALLY” metas I plan on doing bc y’all have just pushed me That Far.

Well hello there. I’m GRUMPY. And what I do when I’m grumpy is I channel it into a little thing called spite meta. That’s what this is. It’s me angrily yelling for several thousand words about why this thing is a GOOD thing, actually.

Today’s subject, the much controversial post Rhythm of War canon pairing that is: Wit/Jasnah.

So let’s (angrily) explore why this is actually a positive thing for both characters, on a nuanced, meta, character analysis level. Because that’s the only level that I have.

I admit, I was sceptical and uncertain. But when I actually sat and thought about this for a hot second...It started making a lot of sense to me. And then I thought about it for, like, a hot minute, and it made a LOT of sense to me. And now I’ve thought about it for a hot month, so come. Step into my thoughts, and I will explain my perspective on this all…

Firstly we’re going to talk about clothes. Yes, clothes. Clothes and what they symbolise for this pair, together and individually.

He was immaculate, as always, with his perfectly styled hair and sharp black suit. For all his talk of frivolity, he knew exactly how to present himself. It was something they’d bonded over. - RoW, 64

Wit and Jasnah have bonded over the idea of presentation and the effects it can create. Both of them have used this idea to great effect multiple times in the series. Wit displays himself as a more appropriate form of an Alethi highprince at war - a crisp, tailored, military suit in a colour that makes him instantly and easily identifiable in a crowd. It’s part of his subtle mockery of those around him - that the King’s Wit is a better presented highprince than the REAL highprinces. It also makes him recognisable, and it makes him seem professional and able to move easily in high society.

Equally, we’ve seen him take the guise of a poor beggar so as to sneak into Kholinar and go unnoticed and dismissed when he sneaks into the palace to recover Design in Oathbringer.

Jasnah, meanwhile, gives a memorable and impactful speech to Shallan at the beginning of Words of Radiance about the illusion of perception. About how by presenting herself as a princess, looking the way others expect, she is able to effectively use her authority. And would be able to similarly do so if she simply convinced people she was a princess, by manipulating their perception of her.

Both Jasnah and Wit understand this idea - of presenting yourself, not necessarily in the way you want to look, but in the way you want others to look at you. Creating for them the thing you want them to see, which enables you to better be that thing.

It also runs deeper than that. They’re not just people who like to dress well. They understand that this has a power to it. They understand the effect it will have over others. And it’s this deeper thing that I believe they’ve bonded over.

Because they don’t simply appear put together in their clothes; they appear put together in their everything. Wit and Jasnah are people who are consistently calm and composed regardless of the situation. They do it in very different ways. Jasnah with calculating stoicism and intellectual calm. Wit with indifferent frivolity and nonchalant acceptance of what’s happening around him.

The core effect is the same. When the walls are crumbling down, the armies are sweeping in, and everything’s on fucking fire, Wit and Jasnah are two people you expect to be able to look to for direction and a bit of sanity amidst the chaos.

They’ve both cultivated personalities and personas that revolve around appearing and seeming in control and unperturbed whatever is happening. It’s like their whole Thing.

So the presentation is not only about clothes and make up, it’s about who they are deep down as people. The fact that they’re always the strong ones. Always the ones in control. Always the ones who aren’t panicking despite the fact that everything’s on fucking fire.

They’re people that others EXPECT to behave a certain way. There’s a predictability to them. A dependability. In Wit’s case, it’s that you can rely on him to be esoteric, confusing, and unpredictable, but still.

There’s a pressure in that. There’s a pressure in always being THAT put together. In always being THAT on top of things. In always being THAT person who can never break down screaming when things go wrong because that’s not who they are and not what people expect. They have to be more than that. They have to be BETTER than that.

They’re also people that other characters tend to other/deify. Shallan remarks several times about Jasnah being inhuman/beyond ordinary people, and even goes so far as to compare her to the divine, despite her being a heretic.

Wit, meanwhile, gets asked if he’s a Herald, has that odd air of always knowing things that he shouldn’t, and being in places he shouldn’t at the right times.

They’re both ‘positively’ outcast. And I don’t mean that in an overly posh English way and being positively outcast, darling. What I mean is that, instead of being shunted outside of the circle of normality, they’re both placed on pedestals above it. Which is a different sort of outcast, but comes with its own package of problems.

And this brings us to: vulnerability. Because they’ve bonded over this presentation thing, but they’ve ALSO bonded over the fact that they’ve found someone they don’t have to do that around all the time. Someone they can let their guard down with and just be themselves. Someone they don’t have to present and perform for. Someone they can just be HUMAN with.

So we’re going to look more closely at the clothing aspect of this. Because there’s symbolism here, and it deeply interests me. With a focus on Jasnah, because Wit’s a mystery by design, and Jasnah’s got some more intentional stuff going on here I feel, re narrative symbolism.

So from the moment we’re introduced to her, Jasnah always looks immaculate. She always looks perfectly put together. Shallan remarks multiple times on her havah, on her make up, on the intricate and perfectly done braids of her hair. Which is a little bit gay on Shallan’s part (which is valid) but it’s also significant, symbolically.

I talked already about Jasnah’s idea of ‘power is an illusion of perception’, but I feel it’s worth coming back to. Both because of how much it shapes Shallan, but also how much it shapes Jasnah, and informs what we know about her.

Jasnah is ALWAYS put together. She is ALWAYS perfectly made up, the absolute ideal of the perfect Alethi princess. Even in scenes of distress or ‘downtime’ scenes - such as waiting for Shallan in the hospital, or visiting her after her betrayal, or the relatively more relaxed setting being on board the Wind’s Pleasure. The text makes a point to note that Jasnah is perfectly done up and presenting exactly as she wishes.

The times we see slips in that are DEEPLY interesting to me.

The first one I want to look at, briefly, is That Controversial Scene in the way of kings, where Jasnah uses Soulcasting to kill the men who attacked her and Shallan in the alley.

Just prior to this we see her bathing, where Shallan still remarks on how composed Jasnah is. This is also part of her presentation. She’s entirely naked, but that illusion is still up. She’s still more in control than other people are fully clothed.

What I find interesting is the specific note that Jasnah does not take the time to have her hair braided before she sets out with Shallan. It’s mentioned as being unbound a few times.

Symbolically, I like this, because I feel like it speaks to a slight loosening of her usual control. There’s something about that scenario that sets Jasnah on edge. There’s something about it that makes her feel.

Besides, men like those…” There was something in her voice, an edge Shallan had never heard before.

What was done to you? Shallan wondered with horror. And who did it?

Shallan is unnerved because Jasnah seems calm. But I get the sense, from this line, and from the intense repetition of how unnaturally composed Jasnah appears, that her composure is a front. And that if we had her perspective on this scene, it would look very different from how Shallan imagines it.

There’s something driving her here. Something beyond the logic she explains to Shallan, about making the city safer, about the guards not doing anything, about how innocent women will not be able to protect themselves from this, and how she wanted those men gone. All of which I believe is true, but that line from Shallan, and the way in which Jasnah goes about this...It feels personal. There’s something else going on behind the scenes that we don’t know or understand.

Regardless. This is the first time we see Jasnah step out of the cultured, reserved, stoic scholar. She’s something other than an ideal Alethi princess and studious mentor in this scene. And the detail of her hair being unbound, contained, wild, for the first time since we’ve met her feels..Significant. It’s an important detail to linger on, I think.

Which brings us to the next exception to Jasnah’s exceptional presentation rule: her murder!

Even in the scene before where we see Jasnah, arguably, the most vulnerable that we’ve seen her, in the cabin when Shallan confronts her about her fear of the upcoming apocalypse. It’s only a moment. Only a moment of genuine emotion that Shallan manages to glimpse before the mask comes back.

This was not the Jasnah that Shallan was accustomed to seeing. The confidence had been overwhelmed by exhaustion, the poise replaced by worry. Jasnah started to write something, but stopped after just a few words. She set down the pen, closing her eyes and massaging her temples. A few dizzy-looking spren, like jets of dust rising into the air, appeared around Jasnah’s head. Exhaustionspren.

Shallan pulled back, suddenly feeling as if she’d intruded upon an intimate moment. Jasnah with her defenses down. Shallan began to creep away, but a voice from the floor suddenly said, “Truth!”

Startled, Jasnah looked up, eyes finding Shallan—who, of course, blushed furiously.

Jasnah turned her eyes down toward Pattern on the floor, then reset her mask, sitting up with proper posture. “Yes, child?”

The text notes in this segment that Jasnah’s poise and presentation is a mask, but it also describes it as her ‘defenses’. This is her armour. It stops people looking too close. It stops them reading her emotion, her weaknesses. This is also one of very few times we see Jasnah attracting spren in the series.

However, even in this scene, clearly exhausted, overworked, and overwhelmed, Jasnah remains perfectly put together. All of her armour, her immaculate havah, her make-up, her braids, are all in place. Even in this moment.

Which makes a stark contrast to the next scene we find her in where she’s dressed only in a “thin nightgown”, and is lying on the floor with a sword in her chest. The vulnerability of unexpected assassination.

When next we see Jasnah, in the epilogue, is when she’s freshly spat out of Shadesmar after an apparently harrowing ordeal.

Her clothing was ragged, her hair formed into a single utilitarian braid, her face lashed with burns. She’d once worn a fine dress, but that was tattered. She’d hemmed it at the knees and had sewn herself a glove out of something improvised. Curiously, she wore a kind of leather bandolier and a backpack. He doubted she’d had either one when her journey had begun.

Even in another plane, apparently being hounded and in fear of her life, she’s managed to acquire some appropriate clothing, a glove, and a damn bandolier. Because of course she has. Perception. Iconic.

After that we don’t see her out of anything beyond her famous havah-braids-make up combo. Even when she’s with her family, and Navani remarks in her setting down the mask of the queen, she remains masked. There are still defences up. She never fully lets her family in on her plans, or her thoughts and fears.

No, the next time we see her symbolically, and emotionally, vulnerable: is with Wit. Perhaps for the first time, fully, without ANY of her usual masks and pretences, and under her own steam and of her own volition.

Locked away in a central room on the second level—sharing no walls with the outside, alone save for Wit’s company—she could finally let herself relax.

She DELIBERATELY picks a house with a second floor, and an interior room with no outside walls, with multiple fabrial traps to warn of assassins or intruders. But she manages to relax in Wit’s company. There’s a trust there. An understanding. A much needed vulnerability.

Clothing wise, in this scene Jasnah is dressed only in a nightgown and a dressing gown, and is carefully noted to have her safehand uncovered. Jasnah isn’t Vorin, strictly speaking, but she’s still been raised her entire life in a society that views safehands as something inherently sexual/to be hidden. So much so that she takes the time and care to sew herself a safehand glove while in Shadesmar. So all of this is a fairly Big Deal. It’s a Big Deal for anyone. For Jasnah? More miraculous than Kaladin giggling.

Jasnah Kholin is not vulnerable. Jasnah Kholin is never unguarded. Jasnah Kholin never willingly lets her guard down. Jasnah Kholin is absolutely as paranoid as Elhokar, if not more so.

She’s made herself a BUNKER at this point. She’s in an interior room, surrounded by traps, there’s spheres sewn into her dressing gown, and she has a wholeass BOAT waiting for her in Shadesmar JUST IN CASE someone manages to get through: guards, an entire BUILDING, multiple rigged traps, then her, with her plate, her blade, her Soulcasting ability, and all of her wit and skill, to somehow manage to wound her badly enough that she has to retreat to Shadesmar.

This woman does not do trust. She does not do vulnerability. To the point that it is absolutely 1000000% a fault. This IS Jasnah’s greatest flaw. Her isolation. Her mistrust. Her paranoia.

Anyone that comes into her life she’s suspicious of. She blithely warns Shallan about Kabsal stating he’s only using her to get close to Jasnah to steal from her/kill her.

We dismiss this, and look at it as brilliance/Jasnah knowing all, because she’s right. But it’s flawed brilliance. Because it’s the ‘broken clock’ fallacy, you know? If you suspect EVERYONE around you of being an assassin...Well, some of them will be.

Jasnah’s paranoia is another meta, however. But the point here is that: Jasnah doesn’t do anything by halves. She has an ideal for how she wants to live her life and she COMMITS to it. And part of that is her presentation, and the perception she projects, to an unhealthy degree, even around trusted family.

So the fact she has found someone she can relax all of her INCREDIBLY strict and overzealous masking and enforced personal presentation? Is both very significant in terms of her relationship with Wit, but also herSELF?

Because Jasnah NEEDS this. She needs it like Kaladin needs therapy yesterday.

Jasnah is a “strong independent woman” but if you double down on that idea, and follow it up with “Jasnah is a strong independent woman who doesn’t need a man/anyone” then you are absolutely 1000% missing the whole entire point of her character.

All the Stormlight characters are deconstructions of classical fantasy tropes, to varying extents.

Jasnah is the ‘strong independent woman’ trope except asking what if you ACTUALLY apply that to an actual human person? What would that do to them? How would that hurt them? And what it does is everything Jasnah is.

Which has been done so MASTERFULLY because we look at all of these flaws, and these objectively negative things that she does to cope with having this label slapped onto her, and we golf clap quietly in a corner and go ‘wow that’s so badass, that’s so cool, let’s totally romantacise all of these actually deeply worrying coping mechanisms and not look at them at all until Brandon smashes us in the face with them like a baseball bat with the nails of Jasnah’s trauma pounded into it’.

Okay maybe that was SLIGHTLY dramatic. But my point is: Jasnah’s apparent omniscience can also be looked at as extreme paranoia and mistrust.

Her independence and ability to ‘get shit done’ on her own, to the point she doesn’t tell another living soul about the LITERAL APOCALYPSE for more than HALF A DECADE is actually self-inflicted dangerous isolation.

Her constantly being poised, and on her game, and never displaying any emotion is actually extreme repression, to the point her own MOTHER describes her as ‘having the empathy of a corpse’.

Her consistent othering by all of the other characters, from her ward to her mother, deifying her, and othering her, and considering her immortal is actually putting her on a pedestal and cramming an INCREDIBLE amount of pressure to reach an impossible, unattainable, and inhuman level of perfection that becomes so normalised and commonplace that her return from the dead is just like ‘well yeah that’s just Jasnah’.

And all of these things are INCREDIBLY unhealthy!!! They’re not something any real person should have to do just to exist. Especially not in the middle of an apocalypse. When her father was killed in front of her. And then her brother was murdered. And the apocalypse she tried to warn everyone about is happening. And she’s the most experienced Radiant. And she’s also suddenly a queen of her kingdom. Which has been taken over by the enemy btw. And they’re in the middle of a war. And people are dying. And she’s responsible for those people dying. But also some of her highprinces are treacherous bastards. And oh look here’s a couple of slightly mad Heralds she’s taken charge of and- OH MY GOD PLEASE LET HER NAP!?

Again. Slight hyperbole on my end but I feel like I’m #Justified. The point is, her suddenly, after FOUR books, having a single person that she can confide in, and be vulnerable with, and admit she’s afraid, and uncertain, and doesn’t know what she’s doing, and isn’t sure she can actually do this, is not ~anti-feminist~ and it’s not “out of character” and it’s not damaging her ideal it’s actually deeply positive, and healthy, and a symptom of Character Growth.

Jasnah’s is choosing Wit. With her eyes wide open. And she has some reservations about things, because she’s JASNAH, of course she does. But she listens to him. She confides in him. She lets him see HER. She lets him help HER. She admits that she needs that help. She actually says to him, out loud, with full human words, to his face, right in front of him, that she’s frightened. SHE ADMITS THIS!!! Jasnah’s having all this stealth background character development that y’all are sleeping on but I am personally deeply hype about.

And it’s because Wit UNDERSTANDS her. And she understands him. And this is really the crux and core of this whole relationship for me, you know? This whole idea around them always being The Strong One. and finally FINALLY (for him, too) having someone that they don’t have to be strong for. Or regal. Or composed. Or poised. Or in control. Or even knowing what the fuck they’re doing.

She can just...Be. She can ask questions. And show uncertainty. And admit to fear. And to doubt, of herself, of the other Radiants, of humanity in general. And have someone to look to, when everyone is ALWAYS looking at her.

It’s the beginning of an actual support system. Because she needs this SO badly. Because she has her family but she also...Doesn’t have her family? She looks after them. She protects them. From assassins, and then from what was happening in the world/her role in it. Because there’s that line in Oathbringer that she has, about people loving her but still hurting her.

Navani mentions that after she hit adolescence (and after her parents locked her in a dark room and let her scream herself hoarse because they called her mad, lol) she withdrew. And she no longer asked questions. And she no longer wanted a mother, or a support figure, or someone to take care of her. She rejected all notions of that. Because there was something broken there. That trust was gone. And Jasnah will set aside the crown, and the mask of the queen around her family, but she is only fully vulnerable, and fully HERSELF with Wit.

And I cannot understate (i feel like I’m doing a Good Job of not understating this here people) how absolutely fucking ESSENTIAL that is.

Jasnah is NOT a machine. She is not a divine being beyond trauma and pain. She is a human being who has suffered, and who has responses to this.

Jasnah accepting Wit’s support and companionship is as big a step in processing and healing from her trauma as Kaladin accepting he can’t protect everyone and does not deserve to always carry that guilt.

I don’t care if you don’t like the ship. I don’t care if you think it was rushed (there was...a year long time skip. Things did not remain in stasis. Things changed. This is an interesting narrative device bringing us into them and letting us extrapolate backwards). I don’t care if you hate the bones of Hoid and never want to see him on screen: I DON’T CARE.

If you have any respect and regard for Jasnah as a character I need you to acknowledge that this relationship is a positive and healthy thing for her. I need you to see that it’s a step forwards. I need you to see that, from a purely narrative standpoint: this is a thing that should be celebrated for her.

In terms of Wit, too, this is a good thing. I am not about one-sided relationships where only one person is getting something out of it. Even when that one person is the light of my life Jasnah Kholin who deserves all the things ever.

For all his talk of frivolity, he knew exactly how to present himself. It was something they’d bonded over.

Coming back to this RoW quote let me make things as abundantly clear as possible re why I’ve bonded over this ship: They’re kindred spirits. They understand each other. In a way that no-one else has understood them for Jasnah possibly ever, for Wit in a very very very very very very very very very long time.

They’re both brilliant. They’re both intellectually at the pinnacle of humanity. They both know that. They’re also both damaged. They both cover up that damage with a carefully crafted presentation. Jasnah’s is regal composure and Wit’s flamboyant nonchalance, but it’s a mask in both cases.

They understand each other. And they understand the need to have what they’ve found in one another: someone they don’t have to be that way around. Someone they can just be with. Someone who understands why they have to be that way with everyone else; but can give them the freedom to be themselves.

Such parallel. Much power. Very choice.

I was gonna talk about Other Stuff in this meta but lol. 4k words of clothes screaming later and I feel like maybe this should be part 1 of an ongoing saga. Ahem.

The take away from this is: I totally understand why Brandon put these two characters together. For the amount of characters he has, he actually has relatively few romantic relationships. None of them are done on a whim, and they’re always healthy, mutual, and positive for both characters. They make sense, in short.

And these two as a pairing makes sense. On more than a “”””business transaction””””” level of them wanting and getting information out of one another. It makes sense even if there was no Desolation, and no threat to the world, and they were two randomers who met in a tavern and connected.

There’s a personal connection there. There’s an intimacy, and an understanding, and a sense of looking into another person’s eyes and saying ‘yes. You know. You feel it too’. They go through life in much the same way - standing out, never quite fitting, never finding anyone on their level that can relate to them or compete with them or challenge them.

They have someone who can fulfil them. Someone who can actually meet and exceed their abilities for once. But equally someone who can ground them, and meet them at their lowest point, and allow and even encourage that vulnerability.

TL;DR: this relationship is positive for both characters, and healthy, and important for both and this is a hill I WILL fucking die upon. Just watch me.

More metas to follow. Bc I have more to say. Not as long as this one, in all likelihood, bc I feel like this is the Lynchpin argument for this pair. But still. More to say.

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wondernimbus · 4 years

Text

a ghost story — cedric diggory

pairing: cedric diggory x female!reader

prompt: the thing with love is that it doesn't matter who it’s between; even if it's between someone who’s alive and someone who isn’t.

t/w: mentions of death

a/n: ahhh probably not gonna be able to post as much as i used to anymore bc i’ve been spending too much time on tumblr & social media DDD: anyways yay cedric

If you wander the halls of the Hogwarts castle, it's likely you'll come across a translucent figure or two, some eager to talk to you and others who won't even bat an eye.

Ghosts. Some have been around for decades, others for entire centuries, but many have aimlessly roamed the grounds for so long no one really knows—or cares—where or when or how they died. There are those that are bitter and hold incessant grudges; they wander through walls, angrily uttering empty threats under their breaths that they have long since lost the ability to truly carry out. They are ghosts after all; mere imprints of the departed soul, according to the usual textbook, and there are a variety of things that they can no longer do that they once were able to when they were alive.

Take the young Hufflepuff ghost, for example, who died at the young age of seventeen, long before she could truly live her life beyond the school walls. Before she could graduate or find love or do whatever was on her agenda.

That in itself is a tragedy. But if you happen to come across her in the castle—because Merlin knows she is always, always wandering, never in one place at one time—you will see that the last thing she seeks is vengeance.

Quite the opposite, actually.

—

There were times when [Y/N] regretted choosing to stay.

Times when she drifted through the corridors of Hogwarts and found herself wishing she’d left all of it behind and moved on to the afterlife—no matter how uncertain the idea of it seemed—instead of having to live every single day watching students go about talking and laughing and living the life she never got to live.

It could have been torture; watching them grow from timid, wide-eyed children oblivious to the workings of the world, to reckless teenagers who took every moment they had for granted, to slightly more mature versions of themselves, ready to venture out into the world beyond them and go down whichever path they wanted to. Become an Auror, maybe. Or a Healer. Start a family, grow a business, explore the world.

It could have been torture.

But that was only depending on which way she looked at it. She could have looked at those very same students and seen a life she never got to experience. But she could have also looked at each of them and seen a life she could experience over and over with each new batch of innocent first-years—and yes, it wasn't her life to live, per se, but wasn't that the magic of it all? To watch from the sidelines and witness them grow and blossom and do as much as they could with the life they'd been given?

So yes—there were times she regretted choosing to stay—but there were also times she was grateful she did.

It was the little things like whenever she spotted a lost first-year and helped him find his way. Or when she roamed the corridors and earned waves from friendly students. Or when she told them stories like the one about the Bloody Baron and Peeves fighting and the other ghosts having to break them up. (It was a story that she told quite often, but one they—especially the children—never got tired of.)

And in exchange, they told her stories. Who was dating who. Who broke up with who. Who might be breaking up with who. She'd become a friend to many students; a listening ear, albeit a translucent one.

But the catch was obvious: those students had to leave eventually, and [Y/N] had to stay.

It was sad, at first, having to bid farewell to her friends when they graduated. But it had been a hundred years and [Y/N] had grown used to it. The knowledge of forever being stuck at seventeen while they got to age and marry and do as much as they wanted to with the rest of the time they have.. well, it didn't quite hurt as much anymore.

It shouldn’t hurt when she had to say goodbye. At least not anymore, when she'd been doing it over and over for the last century.

So it shouldn’t have hurt—the idea of losing him. He was just one of the thousands of students she'd met, after all. Just one more person she had to let go of.

It really shouldn’t have hurt.

But it did. And [Y/N] may have been a ghost, but she wasn't dumb, so it didn't take her long to figure out that it hurt because she'd fallen in love. It was a very stupid move on her part, given that she was a bloody ghost and he was very much alive and human, but. Well. Love was love—no matter who it was between.

—

[Y/N] remembers Cedric when he was just eleven years old, young and energetic and a little naïve.

He was one of the nicer ones, if not the nicest. (Because of course there were those that weren’t as open to the idea of befriending a lonely Hufflepuff ghost; why bother talking to someone dead?)

Cedric had strayed away from his group of first-years to approach her by the staircases. She’d been hovering above the banister, watching them fondly—a little longingly—until he came up to her, beamed with a blinding sort of brightness, stuck his hand out, and then said, “Hi, it’s nice to meet you!”

[Y/N] had stared at him, slightly surprised. Usually it was the first-years that took a little longer to befriend, given that most of them had grown up believing ghosts were to be feared, but every few years or so there’d be someone like the little eleven-year-old boy in front of her whose name she did not yet know, eager to make friends—even with a ghost.

”Hi there,” she’d said, own lips quirking up into a small grin as she stared down at him. “Are you sure you want me shaking your hand? It’s going to be a little cold.”

”That’s perfectly fine!” His eyes were bright; extraordinarily so. They gleamed with so much childlike innocence that [Y/N] found herself thinking back to vague bits of her youth that she didn’t know she remembered. “You looked lonely, so.”

She’d laughed. “Well, if you say so.” And when she reached out and shook the little boy’s hand—or, well, tried to—her own slipped right through his solid one.

He’d flinched and pulled his hand back. “That was really cold!”

Another laugh. “See, I told you.”

”Well, it was nice meeting you, anyway. I’m Cedric, and—“

”Cedric!” a Hufflepuff prefect was calling to him. “Come on, now, we’ve got to get to the common room!”

Cedric had pouted. “Well, I’ll see you around.. um..“

”[Y/N],” she’d told him, smiling softly, glad to make a new friend. “My name was [Y/N].”

—

She saw much of Cedric over the years, given that he was in Hufflepuff and thus often roamed the same corridors she haunted. But she had a feeling that even if he weren’t, he was still the type of person to go out of his way to search the vast grounds of the Hogwarts castle to look for her, because to Cedric, she was just as much of a friend as any of his other human ones.

She watched him grow with the passing of time, along with the other students, although part of her had grown especially fond of him. Cedric, whose talent for storytelling rivaled her own—whose kindness and compassionate heart rivaled just about anyone else’s—was not just another fleeting moment in her countless years at hogwarts. [Y/N] knew she would remember him when he left. She just didn’t know how hard it would be when he did.

—

When Cedric reached sixteen, it was only then that he changed in [Y/N]’s eyes; he’d gone from a little eleven-year-old with round, pink cheeks to something akin to a man, athletic and intelligent and exceptionally handsome.

When Cedric reached sixteen, [Y/N] was still seventeen. The same age she’d been for a long, long time.

[Y/N] was a ghost, and she had no real purpose anymore. Cedric was alive, and he had classes to go to. Other friends to talk to who had living, beating hearts and something in life to actually look forward to. Friends who he would still talk to long after he graduated. Friends who wouldn’t be bound to the castle until the end of time (if there was an end).

And yet Cedric spoke to her as though she was anything but a ghost.

He didn't just briefly wave to her whenever he saw her in the hallways, no; he would ask her how her day went, as if it actually mattered. He confirmed her previous suspicious; he didn't just count on their opportune meetings. He looked for her. His friends would find it strange, but he'd detach himself from them in favor of roaming the corridors, searching for a ghost, eager to tell her about his latest adventures.

Cedric made her feel like she was human. Made her feel like she was alive.

Whenever she spoke to him, it was as though her heart started to beat again for the first time in a hundred years. She wondered if he felt the same way, even if the notion of it was ridiculous. The idea of a ghost catching feelings for a human was a bizarre idea in and of itself, but of a human reciprocating those feelings? For someone who technically didn't even exist?

It was unheard of.

It was unheard of, but it wasn't impossible.

—

[Y/N] spent many nights in the Astronomy tower.

She couldn't remember much of her life. The memories faded away from her with each passing day, becoming blurry at the edges, like the longer time stretched on the farther away they went. They were still there, but she only vaguely recalled workings of the world, emptied of specifics, faces, names back from when she was alive. Like shelves labeled for memories, except they were empty.

She couldn't remember how she died, either, or why she chose to stay. It was odd. As far as she knew, the other ghosts knew fully well how they came to perish. But she wondered if maybe it was better that way; maybe she forgot for a reason.

But the Astronomy tower felt oddly familiar. There was something about it that drew her in. She knew it was relevant to her, in some way, even though she wasn't entirely sure how.

So she would stay there at sundown, looking out over the edge of the railing waiting for a blanket of stars to appear in the sky. Waiting for memories to come back to her, even though part of her knew that they weren't likely to.

The first time Cedric ever found her there, in his sixth year, he'd exclaimed, "There you are! I’ve been looking everywhere for you", and—oh.

For a ghost, [Y/N] always seemed to be exceptionally happy. Her eyes were always impossibly bright for a dead soul. But now she looked the saddest Cedric had ever seen her, like she was thinking back on all those hundred years she spent with the students and yet at the same time so very alone.

The sun had already set, the last bit of daylight filtering into the tower from the open sides. Cedric had walked forward and silently joined [Y/N] at the edge, sitting down on the floor next to her and staring out at the horizon.

He didn't say anything. He knew this wasn't about him; [Y/N] had to be the one to speak first.

Cedric didn't count the seconds as they passed, just stared out at the fading light as he waited. And waited. And he knew he would wait as long as it took.

And then, finally—"I wish I remembered how I died," she said quietly, her eyes glued to the scenery before her, and if she were alive there would have been tears inside them. Instead there was only a painful sort of wistfulness. "Or why I chose not to move on. I wish I knew, just so I’d feel justified in staying. But I don't. So now I don't know why I’m still here instead of—" she paused, frowning. "Well, I don't know what's beyond here, really. What real death is like. But it can't be too bad, can it?"

Another brief pause.

“I get brief flashes of my life sometimes," she murmured. "Nothing too big. Nothing enlightening. Nothing that really answers my questions. But I get most of them when I’m right here, in this tower."

For the first time since he sat next to her, [Y/N] turned her head just a fraction of an inch to look at him, eyes meeting his. "And when I’m with you," she said, voice soft. "When I’m with you, Cedric, I remember what it felt like to be—" a sharp exhale, as though it was exhilarating to say it out loud, "alive."

Cedric held her gaze for a few seconds. Maybe more. And then, quietly, as though he was letting her in on a secret (and in a way, he was): "If I told you I loved you, what would you say?"

There. It was a revelation, if anything, both to himself and to her. All the confirmation both of them needed that humans could love whoever they wanted to, even ghosts like her. Cedric had done it, hadn’t he?

He’d known her for seven years, and slowly, gradually, he’d fallen for her. No matter the fact that they were from two drastically different worlds. That was enough proof.

She was unresponsive for a while. And then she laughed. A sad sound. She turned back to the horizon, such little light left to seep through her translucent skin. "I’d say you were daft, falling in love with a ghost."

"If I asked you to wait for me," he reached out towards her hand, which was set on the floor. This time Cedric didn’t wince, even though it felt like he’d plunged his arm in icy water. "What would you do?"

She frowned down at their hands. It took her a long, long time, but when she spoke again, Cedric knew she meant it.

"I’d wait," she told him. Her smile was sad. "I’d wait for you, Ced. And I can only hope that you'll remember me, when the time comes.”

—

[Y/N] had been ready.

She’d prepared herself for the idea of waiting for a long time. A few more decades at most.

Cedric was going to leave, and she was going to stay. He would graduate and she would stay. He’d find a job, live the rest of his life to the best of his abilities, get married, start a family. Cedric would die, someday, and [Y/N] would stay at Hogwarts, forever seventeen, counting on the almost-promise he’d made back at the Astronomy tower.

A few decades more and she wouldn’t be so lonely anymore. A few decades more and maybe she’d start feeling a little like herself again.

But the idea of Cedric staying for her when he does die years and years and years from then—of asking him not to move forward into the afterlife and stay bound to the castle forever, just so she’d have someone to be with..

It was selfish.

But Cedric told her that it was his choice. When the time came, he said, he would choose to stay with her.

It almost made Cedric cry, thinking about it—about her just being here, staying just like this, for years more, and him growing older and older, growing apart. In the grand scheme of things, seven years spent learning to love a ghost shouldn’t have meant much, especially for her, who would have centuries more time to exist. But sitting here, with her cold hand almost in his, Cedric decided that the seven years he'd spent with her were the happiest moments of his life.

It could be sad. He could think of those times and see seven years of being so close to the girl he loved and yet at the same time so terribly far; unable to hold her the way he really wanted to. But he could also see the seven happiest years of his life; a time filled with love and adventure. A time that defined him, molded him into everything he was today.

So no, Cedric wasn't sad. He was the happiest he'd ever been and would ever be in his entire life.

—

”Aren’t you scared?”

”Of what?”

”Of dying.”

Cedric kept his eyes on the stars, gaze wistful as though he was thinking of a life that he had yet to experience. "I don’t think so. Not if I think of what's waiting for me beyond it."

"Decades from now."

He turned to look at [Y/N], then down at where their hands were just inches apart, one solid and the other translucent. One dark in the night, one glowing silver. “Decades.”

A lot could happen in several decades. Cedric could change his mind. Several decades from now, he could look back on the young ghost from the Hogwarts castle and decide that maybe she wasn't worth staying for. Or he could just forget, and never once look back over his shoulder.

But [Y/N] trusted him, and she was ready to wait.

She’d wait for as long as it took him.

—

The day came far earlier than she'd been expecting.

When news broke that one of the Triwizard Champions had been murdered, [Y/N] had felt fear, for the first time in a very long time.

And when the hushed whispers of horror turned into murmurs of Cedric’s name, mourning him, crying for him, [Y/N] had felt anguish so terrible it was as though she was dying all over again.

Cedric wasn’t supposed to die. Not this early.

—

The next time she saw Cedric, for the first time in seven years her hands didn’t go through his anymore.

—

Cedric never regretted it, choosing to stay.

Admittedly, when Death came knocking and asked him the question he thought he'd have to answer far, far into the future, there was a split-second of hesitance.

Just a tiny moment of doubt. Just one. Moving forward into the afterlife, letting Death take him once and for all, leaving this world to set forth into whatever lay beyond it; it was the idea of that that made him hesitate.

But then he thought of [Y/N]—of the idea of being able to hold her the way he could never have done in life, and to be able to do that as much as he wanted to in death. Of being able to finally be with her. Of having her after being so terribly close to it for so long.

He thought of her, and he knew what he wanted.

—

For centuries, there have been two young ghosts who roam the corridors of the Hogwarts castle hand-in-hand, eager to offer a helping hand to anyone who might need it, never running out of tales of love and magic and laughter to tell the students, who, in turn, go to them bearing stories of their own.

They died too young, the pair of them. But the youthful gleam in their eyes never died out, and neither did the love they held for each other—the love that was there long before the other died. The love that will stay until the end of time (if there is an end).

Often you can find them roaming the Hufflepuff corridors. Some say they see the two ghosts in the Astronomy tower, mostly during sundown, sitting on the edge by the railings as the last traces of daylight trickle in through the open windows.

But they are always there, if you look hard enough. Always eager to offer a helping hand. Never apart. Never one without the other.

They call them Cedric and [Y/N]—the ghosts who died too early, and yet were lucky enough to find love. One in life and the other in death.

Call it magic. Call it a miracle. Call it nothing at all; but somehow, two people who were perhaps never meant to find love in each other, got what they wanted, in the end.

And Death knows all they ever wanted was each other.

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dreamhot · 3 years

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irt your dsmp post I completely agree!! that basically happens with EVERY fandom who has a single character they’ve decided is the “REAL big bad”, thus leaving every other character to be innocent. Idk if it’s just because they find it easier to interpret it that way or if they just… genuinely think all stories NEED to have every bad thing attached to one character

Always sort of a pet peeve for me to find well crafted fanwork but then the villain doesn’t resemble their canon self at all except for the fact that they’re a villain. And usually they add something random on like them being transphobic or smth it’s just… strange

YEAH YEAH THE LAST BIT ESPECIALLY ... you also see it in certain au fanworks like people hate the original character so they assign like. random bigoted traits to them ...? like aight this is far beyond the scope of what they're actually like in canon and if the source villain isn't even a bigot, then making them into one bc of your own vendetta is . weird if u ask me. like they can be cunning or manipulative or cruel without being a transphobe idk my guy

it's true tho like people overstretch themselves to connect every crime to a single figure when in reality it's often far more complicated than that. the dsmp is a great example because of how many characters are morally gray & how the server is perpetually besieged by a cycle of violence that's been out of c!dream's hands for ages now. he's responsible for a Lot of conflict, yeah, but not ALL of it, and acting like everyone else is innocent is just doing their characters a disservice. it's more fun to look at the big picture!

only semi-related but i was ruminating last night on other stories in which the primary antagonist gets nerfed for a bit and how those things compare to c!dream in prison and i wanna make a post about that i think cos it's a fascinating narrative choice

#smile.ask #anon #smp crit #discourse cw #<- jic !

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asterekmess · 3 years

Note

I’m fairly new to the Teen Wolf fandom (Dylan O’Brien is the only reason I even bothered to watch the show), but I couldn’t help to notice that there’s a scary streak of abuse apologism in the Scott McCall Defense Squad. Scott can repeatedly gaslight, belittle, victim blame and dehumanize his best friend, assault rape and abuse victims to prove how much better and superior he is, and treat everyone like shit to his heart’s content. But it’s okay! Scott did it out of love! Scott is a True Alpha!

Oh well welcome to the fandom! I’m sorry that your introduction doesn’t seem to have been all that pleasant. I’m a bit torn here, because while I know that there are fans of Scott who truly, honestly believe these things and think they’re okay, I’m also very much aware that the show is built to make them think that way.

I think I made a post recently where I talked about the show’s framing telling us repeatedly that the ends justify the means, but only when Scott is the one doing the means. When we see Derek bite the teens and train them to fight by hurting them and generally treating them like crap, in order to have a pack that could protect itself so that he wouldn’t be killed by the Argents when they come to town, it’s very clearly portrayed as bad. As it should, because however much I love Derek and the Betas, his behavior with them was inexcusable. Explainable, but inexcusable. However, when Scott does similar things, like lying to everyone around him including his best friend, and putting the same teenagers he swore to protect because “they’re innocent, that makes them my responsibility” in serious danger by working with the man who wanted them dead, or in a slightly more recent note ducttaping a terrified teenager into his bathtub, this behavior is explained AND excused. Yes, there is sound (awful) logic behind Scott’s choices both in S2 and what he did to Liam. But that doesn’t make any of it okay. Except that, the show Does say it’s okay. There are fans of the show who are Scott Fans (tm), but there are also a LOT of fans of the show who only like Scott because he’s the ‘protagonist.’ They aren’t entrenched in fandom and meta like we are. They don’t want to look past the surface and that’s okay, because just wanting to enjoy a fun show about werewolves isn’t an unreasonable request.

And for those people, there’s no reason for them to feel that Scott did anything wrong. The show Constantly tells them that he didn’t. That what he did was Just and Correct and the Right Thing to Do. While to some of us it might be incredibly obvious that what he did was awful, other people (usually people who don’t have experience with these toxic behaviors/traumas) don’t instantly make the connection between Scott making Derek bite Gerard, and the abuse Derek suffered under Kate. They just see the climax of the episode and the Plot Twist of Scott being one step ahead of Genius Gerard.

Now, for those that DO entrench themselves in fandom, who spend all that time looking at meta and examining the characters to find their motivations/construct personalities and lore about the characters and STILL do not see this behavior...them I try not to interact with. It’s toxic and it’s horrible, and it’s upsetting to deal with. It’s frustrating to know that I can look at my favorite characters and acknowledge that they did some fucked up things. Sure, I usually blame the writers, but I also accept that it DID happen and the characters aren’t perfect. I can change all I want when I write au’s or make hale pack shitposts, but I know what is canon. And for some reason, these people can’t do the same with Scott. They cannot look at him and see his flaws and toxic, disgusting mistakes, while also liking the character. If I’m being really salty, I’d say that it’s because those behaviors and that mindset is so much a part of Scott’s core being that if they ever acknowledged it, their entire view of Scott’s sweet puppy personality would crumble, and they aren’t willing to lose it. For some people, I really do think it may be about his race. Representation for mixed race kids is rare. And So Often they’re this half an episode character who dies or is the kid that peer pressures others. The villain. And Scott, however much we dislike him, IS portrayed as Teen Wolf’s Hero. I don’t blame people for wanting to see a hero in him. For clinging to that representation that they Deserve. But doing that involves outright refusing to acknowledge canon elements of Scott’s story.

I would highly suggest just staying out of that fandom space. Don’t interact with it, don’t get in fights (this is hypocritical of me bc i’ve been blocked by more than one scott fan for getting in arguments with them), just avoid it entirely. Curate your online experience so that you can enjoy fandom and feel safe with the fans you interact with.

If you ever wanna talk Sterek, my ask box is always open. XD

#personal #anti-Scott Mccall #meta ramblings #Anonymous #go for it

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zeldasnotes · 1 year

Text

ASTRO OBSERVATIONS 28 🐚

masterlist

Someone whos into men and have Mars Square/Opposite Juno(3) might attract the complete opposite of what they are attracted to. For example someone with Scorpio Mars Square Leo Juno wants a confident, open and funny partner, but they only attract the mysterious , sneaky, obsessive kind of men. Or vice versa.

People with Lilith 3rd house 🤝 having issues with their car.

Venus Square Juno(3) 🤝 Molding their partner into what they want them to be

Ceres(1) conjunct Mars 🤝 Working out as a form of selfcare

Please check the North Node aspects in the composite chart. It can show what kind of relationship it will be.

The annoying part of 10th house placements is attracting attention from people you dont even know exist.

If you have Eros(433) Conjunct Moon synastry just know you will both remember it forever and you know what I mean by it.

Use your transits to get stuff done. I swear I never clean & exercise like I clean and exercise when Sun or Venus are transiting my 6th house.

Women with Lilith Square Moon struggle with the Madonna/Whore complex. They also feel a deeprooted need to be a part of society, have a family and be the kind of woman whos accepted. But at the same time they feel a strong need to rebel against those same things.

Moon conjunct/square/opposite Pluto needs to practice letting go. They be the ones to check a certain persons instagram everyday almost like a routine. Especially when it comes to people they dislike. An obsession with powerstruggles. Especially when the enemy is a woman.

Ive noticed that people with pluto retrogade are less obsessive.

Pisces Suns always have something innocent & youthful about their looks.

People Venus Square Ascendant in their own chart usually get into conflict with people who also have Venus Square Ascendant.

People with Jupiter conjunct personal planets can come across as arrogant even tho they are usually super friendly once you talk to them.

People with Venus Square Saturn care a lot about stability when chosing a partner. They can be very turned off by lazy people.

People with 8th house and 2nd house placements attract the most envy. If you have planets in these houses and you have social media just know that you got a lot of people watching you. I know of someone with placements there and she posted a video of herself eating at a restaurant she works at during her break. Someone called the restaurant and tried to have her fired saying shes high in the video etc(ofc she wasnt).

Mars & Moon in the 2nd house can be a real envy aspect in synastry. From what Ive seen the planet person is envious of the house person.

Sooo many people where the parents are from two different countries/cultures/religions got Sag Rising.

8th house actors are good at playing painful roles. For example Cate Blanchett.

Sag Moons wont do it if you tell them they have to.

Something Ive noticed, wont be true for everyone tho: The difference between Neptunian Venuses (Venus aspecting Neptune/Pisces Venus) and Saturnian Venuses (Saturn aspecting Venus/Capricorn Venus) is that saturnian Venus expects the same perfection from themselves as they expect from a partner while Neptunian Venuses be expecting to marry Beyonce while looking like Shrek.

Neptunian Venuses dream too much and have unrealistic and high standards. Saturnian Venuses have high standards but they are realistic. They dont want a fairytail princess bc they know it doesnt exist, they want someone who looks good on paper and they usually look good on paper themselves.

Saturnian Venuses can also be satisfied with someone who hasnt made it yet as long as they know the person is ambitious and will make it in the end, while neptune energy wants to be saved by someone who already made it.

Mars conjunct Midheaven be having a lot of public beefs. Or might be known for being a winner or ruthless. Beyonce for example got Mars in the 10th house and everyone who messed with her and Jay Z just magically disappeared from the spotlight.

#astro notes #astrology #astro observations #astronotes #lilith #ascendant #birth chart readings #lilith aspects #astrotidbits

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littlemulattokitten · 3 years

Note

I started reading fanfic when I was 11-13 years old. falls into Rabbit's Lair after innocent research into the canon just because I wanted to read more about it. it's funny because I read for a long time couples and plots keeping the canon, until I got to know the wonders of alternate universes. do you remember how it was for you?

I do! I started primarily in the Twilight fandom, but I read some HP fic too at the time. I liked Harmony (HarryxHermione) because I've always disliked Ron in canon and that was around the time I was gifted and read the 7th book. Like shortly after it came out, I think. So I was extra pissed off at Ron because of him ditching them in the forest.

I was also deeply over Edward and Jacob in every capacity in the Twilight series because they were problematic af, even if they were hot as hell in the movies. So I was tip toeing into the world of AU ships. I nose-dived hard into JasperxBella and CarlislexBella, but to this day like 90% of those begin with the premise of EITHER: A.) Alice/Edward cheats or B.) Esme and Carlisle aren't true mates. Literally all of them. Maybe one or two all human AUs didn't start that way but there was almost NO decent stories that weren't written by the same few titans in the pairing.

I wrote several fics with decent premises and absolutely god awful meme-tier writing (because I was fucking TWELVE) that have since been deleted. Sometimes people still message me asking about a few of them??? I don't understand??? The concepts were fine but I did them no justice??? I digress.

And mind you this was back when Twilight had like...maybe 70k fics total, I think? On FFN. I didn't even learn about AO3 until 2016. On FFN HP had like 550k fics back then? Its way more now for both.

HP was more intimidating because I didn't think anyone would even see my stories in that saturated of a fandom. I think I wrote one Twilight HP Crossover fic where Bella basically replaced Hermione, the Cullens showed up, got verbally shit on, Alice wanted to be a Hufflepuff, Bella-mione told them all to go fuck themselves, nobody trusted Dumbledore, and she was dating Harry. This fic was a travesty. And crossovers don't usually perform well anyway so like...that fic is gonna stay dead.

At some point between....2012 and 2013, I think, I purged all but one or two of my fics. I left my beauty and the beast fic that I need to finish. And my Hunger Games fic that is literal garbage because I wrote it in HIGH SCHOOL, but it was my most popular fic and my only completed fic.

I had gotten tired of reading Hunger Games fics, I didn't want to write Twilight fics bc original concepts didn't seem to get a lot of attention, just trope recycling. So I finally said fuck it and started writing HP fics. I'd been toying with The Fourth Blood Princess' plot for years, so I started playing with that.

Somewhere between 2013 and 2014, was into Tomione (not for the first time) and was inhaling all the fics where Hermione met Tom when they were both school aged. I was quickly burnt out on all the (delightful but) common time turner fics and I desperately wanted to know what would happen if the Diary was connected to 5th year Tom Riddle (sans horcrux) and if that Diary was given to Hermione.

I wrote most of the now archived version of Diary without posting a single word. I made a friend on this very website who I still talk to sometimes though she's no longer on Tumblr and let her read what I had. She encouraged me to post it.

And we know what Diary has turned into lmao. I still don't know why it has taken off the way it has, but I'm here for it. Still wish Fourth Blood Princess had gotten that attention sometimes, because I firmly stand by the fact that there are not enough fics where Severus get's a true chance to atone AND the love he deserves, but it's fine. Slowburns always out perform family-centric fics.

;) Thanks, lovely. I hope this didn't bore you lol.

#stilleundregen

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michibikionmain · 3 years

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This isn’t THE tommyinnit villain essay but it sure is one of them

Ok ok so 4 those of u who aren't on discord with me: i have two main essays that have been in the works for MONTHS, these being my Complete Dream character analysis essay going in-depth for nearly all of his canon interactions and finding his character traits and motivations through the story, and my Tommyinnit (and Wilbur Soot) were Always The Villains on the server essay talking about how the only reason so many people view them as the good guys or heroes is because we see the story from their perspective mainly. This essay? Is not either of those. BUT, it does go through a lot of my thoughts on Tommy and Dream’s characters so I figured I’d post it. maybe itll help me organize my thoughts 4 my Mega Projects lol

@ranboocore bc u helped me pop off on this so hard LMAO

Warning, it’s VERY Tommy Critical, what a suprise. I do not like Tommy as a character lol. idk what triggers yall might need me to tag but if u need one in particular pls lmn!

My biggest issue with tommy's character is that he SAYS hes learned but he never does he is exactly the same person he was at the start of the server just More Sad and with Trauma, when out of all the characters he's had the most push to change. c!Tommy is a very tell-don't-show character which can make it hard for some people to connect to him, especially those who don’t directly share his trauma or see themselves in his character. Of course, there is still a MASSIVE amount of people who relate to his struggles and thus love him regardless of his writing, but those who can't relate to him will always feel some kind of barrier until the things they've talked about are actually shown to the viewer instead of being spoon-fed to them.

It is a very beginner writing thing, and I'm hoping that Tommy is figuring out how to fix this, maybe with support from the many other writers on the server. There's the 3 you mentioned, plus fundy, niki, and maybe tubbo who also play dnd, plus Dream who said he would've been an English major and does a lot of personal writing for fun. I think the biggest issue in the writing lies in the individual ccs being inexperienced in the medium, particularly with planning out their own character growth.

Another glaring issue I have with c!Tommy is how he's framed to be sympathetic and he goes through all these horrible things without acknowledging his role in any of them. The things that have happened to him are a direct result of his actions, but the thing is HE won't acknowledge and so it falls flat. This isn’t to say that being abused is his fault, because it’s NEVER the vicitm’s fault, but being exiled? His multiple fights with c!Dream? His friendships falling apart? Losing the disks in the first place? They’re the direct consequences of HIS OWN actions, but he never acknowledges this and constantly just... brushes off any accountability by either saying that it’s Dream fault or simply SAYING he feels bad without properly showing it through redemption and GROWTH.

Denial is useful in storytelling sometimes, but Tommy's character has been in denial since the very beginning of the server and at this point it's just exhausting. He only ever switches between denial and depression, not really going through all 5 stages of grief properly. His violent/upset reactions would be more powerful if they were any different from how tommy usually acts, but this is always how he is. When he “lashes out” because he’s reached the end of his patience, it doesn’t SEEM like the snap it is because that’s just... it’s seriously just his standard reaction to everything. It hold no WEIGHT to see c!Tommy yell at someone violently or threaten to fight them because he does that anyways!

Static characters can be a good thing, and can be interesting if done correctly, but not every character SHOULD or CAN be static in a story.

Static characters need to have their position or behavior challenged and question, where they look into if the way they see and interact with the world is really the 'correct' one or just evaluated to see if they truly believe in them. This questioning period is CRUCIAL! and NEEDS to be well done in a way that ACTIVELY SHOWS the conflict between the two ideals. If they decide to hold onto their beliefs/continue their behavior then, it feels deserved, because rather than just being a flat "they do thing its who they are" they have defined WHY. WHY is a very important question to think of when telling the difference between dynamic and static characters. The why of a character is ESSENTIAL to developing them as a relatable, sympathetic person rather than a flat story telling device. It makes them a human rather than a puppet. When a character's motives aren't well defined or discussed, they're doomed to fall flat in everything else, because the WHY is the foundation of what makes them who they are.

c!Tommy has an underdeveloped "why", his motivations are weak, rarely properly discussed and when they are it doesn't particularly stick with him. His motivations change without showing us the internal struggle that should come from literally shifting your driving principles. There are some good MOMENTS of him reevaluating the importance of certain things, but they're so spread out and contradictory and immediately spat one that they're hard to piece together. He TELLS us what his motivations are as well, which is another big flaw when it comes to all that but we don't have time to unpack all THAT Anyways, the key to static story telling is reaffirmation. The character goes through a complete journey and ends with the same beliefs because they've looked into why they have them and determined that they still matter to them. A great example of static writing in my eyes is c!Techno, who since the beginning has believed that governments are bad. c!Techno enters the server to destroy a government, and still ends up doing that because he sees and we see him experience that the reasons he didn't like government before still hold true and he has no reason to support them any more than before, and so his anarchist beliefs are REAFFIRMED, proving to him that they way he handles things is the right one for him.

c!Tommy’s attachments are all just... they're all so weird. like he LITERALLY SACRIFICES HIS LIFE MULTIPLE TIMES for L'manburg. By action of sacrifice it seems like it should be the most important thing to him, but then he throws it away for some disks that mattered less to him just a minute ago. But then it's all about how c!Tubbo is worth more than Anything and maybe he's found something more important! but then he shoves THAT out the window for the discs again ig!!! but then it's about l’manburg again? Make it make sense.... pls....

Here's smth that really irks me about Tommy's character, and is kind of weird but give me a second to explain: Tommy has never actually permanently lost much of anything on the server. Every punishment he's ever received he's tried to find some way around. And like... I'm not expecting him to be HAPPY to face the consequences of his actions but seeing him constantly have his cake and eat it too is very irritating, especially when there are characters who DO have to deal with actual permanent sacrifices. The whole thing with the disks. where he WILLINGLY OFFERED THEM UP AND GAVE THEM AWAY THEN SPENT FOREVER TRYING TO STEAL THEM BACK WHILE CLAIMING DREAM STOLE THEM FROM HIM, is the biggest example of this, but it's generally his characters way of dealing with things. He's very backhanded and conniving, constantly calling himself "big man" except for when he wants things from people and he plays up the "iM a MiNoR" card to try and get them to give him things or feel bad. He's not just some sweet innocent kid like people paint him, he knows damn well he's messed up and while he SAYS he feels bad about it, he has never once really shown, with his ACTIONS, regret for what he's done except for the stuff with c!Sapnap, which could it could be argued he did because he thought it would help get c!Sapnap on his side to fight Dream and he knew c!Sapnap was a skilled warrior and could possibly be persuaded to fight with dream.

c!Tommy is in NO way some sweet innocent child, he knows what he's doing. He KNEW l'manburg was a drug empire, and wanted to turn his hotel into the same He was FULLY prepared to just murder c!Schlatt for legally winning an election that he KNEW was rigged AND INTENDED TO HELP RIG HE LITERALLY TEAMED UP WITH c!TECHNOBLADE KNOWING THAT HE INTENDED TO BLOW UP L'MANBURG AND ONLY LEFT WHEN HE REALIZED IT WASN'T GOING TO ACTUALLY HELP HIM--

The line of c!Wilbur saying "Tommy, are we the bad guys?" wasn't him mentally going batshit it was him realizing that the entire time they've been doing terrible things. c!Wilbur was literally ALWAYS Vilbur but the time people CALL Vilbur is when c!Will himself realized he was a villain.

#like. VERY critical #i do not like the child can you tell?#im sorry tommy fans but i am not one of you #and before you ask: Yes I have and do watch his perspective of the SMP just so i can try to understand his thought process #dream smp #dsmp #dream smp analysis #dsmp analysis #critical analysis #prince/pea and i pop off about this so much LOL #this is the first of MANY essays/collective analysis bits ive written about Tommy #lets see how many ill have by the time i finish going through the discord #tommyinnitcritical #discourse #ig. i saw a lot of ppl asking 4 this tag on similar posts so i thought id add it?

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morkofday · 3 years

Text

pingxie thoughts (and prayers) bonus 2/2

continuation for this post where i try to make sense of all the visuals offered to us in the amazing bazaar photoshoot. had to divide the bonus part of this series into two bc of the amount of photos and my own tendency to write novels (even while excluding the video clips). hopefully these can offer you all at least something (more than just an eyeroll at my pretentious poetry).

side note: the photos from the digital magazine (the ones without a watermark) belong to @/thosch3i who i very much want to thank you for all the updates and translations ♥

The Bazaar Photoshoot – Future Dream

As stated in the first part of this “analysis”, the theme of this photoshoot was the Pingxie ten years reunion. I already managed to get through the “ideal reality” photos, so now it’s time to delve into the “future dream” in the remaining ones. These seem to offer a deeper look into Pingxie’s actual relationship during the reunion and how their past and future meet in that moment.

(placing under cut bc this gets long with all the photos!)

These photos really challenged me to think outside the box. Bc the obvious answer would’ve just been me screaming “Pingxie married!” on top of my lungs but that’s not really something I’m aiming at quite yet. So I decided to call this pile of photos “the (future) dream” instead, which I think suits it quite well. Just let me try to explain why.

Beginning with these two teaser photos where we first see their matching rings and then their matching necklaces. A lot of eternal promises and unbreakable bonds and soulmate symbolism here (my left brain: but Pingxie married!!! me: shush, not now). I feel like these photos in general show many of those themes, try to catch their bond and the deepest essence of their relationship. This is some type of core, them in their purest form, far outside of actual reality now.

The black and white colors make these photos feel even more like they’re part of a dream or a fantasy or a memory almost. Maybe it is about the things they now have and the things they have lost. Maybe it’s black and white bc things have changed but they still want the same things; they still have their bond and things still make sense. (Maybe I sob about this bc I’m just so weak and Pingxie soulmates, it’s confirmed now!)

Also gotta mention here – bc I will allow myself this one moment of gushing – that Pingxie in black and white, ZSX and XYL in these suits (both suits), is sinful. Absolutely sinful. But also stunning. And so soft. And well, what else could be more symbolic than making Wu Xie wear white and Xiaoge wear black? Tho I think that together, they have always been turning a bit gray. (And how many times did I read that as “gay”? Which,,, still true but. Not the point here.)

At this point am also fighting against my urge to talk about the video clip that dropped with the weibo update on the 1st of March and all the hand action we got in that. Bc I just loved how they played with each other’s hands and the snow and kept looking at their hands together in that clip. It felt like an inaudible love confession. And maybe these photos are just that; a voiceless, wordless way to say “I love you”. Neither of them is good with words anyway and the love is so loud am going deaf. I hope they’re happy.

But if we forget that video, I want to pay attention to the poses in these photos. They are sitting or lying down together, Wu Xie’s head on Xiaoge’s shoulder, Xiaoge’s face almost buried in Wu Xie’s hair or at least turned his way. It feels domestic. There is nothing but them. There is nothing else to care about in this world than them being together and this closeness they share after all the time without it. It’s what they want; this very intense focus on each other (and if that doesn’t scream love to you then I don’t know what to say). It’s a little bit like the ideal reality I talked about in the previous post but even more intense and somehow so much more open which makes me think about this as a “dream” or at least a fantasy of sorts.

Then in the two photos above, we again have Wu Xie looking at the camera while Xiaoge is focusing on him. It feels almost like Xiaoge is a prop here, all the focus placed on Wu Xie who is, unlike in that intense photo in the previous post, smiling. Slightly, but still. He looks soft, content, happy. He’s okay to be the center of all this attention bc he knows that it will take it away from Xiaoge (and omg I know yall whine now that such a thing is impossible with XYL’s beauty but just humor me for a bit). He’s so relaxed bc he knows that Xiaoge is content right next to him. (He might also be a bit smug bc he has a man like that but can anyone blame him?)

I have to note then that, after gushing about their outfits and how good they look in them, there also seems to be a deeper meaning to these suits. Because I don’t think it’s an accident (or a thirst trap) that in these whole-body pictures where they lie in the snow, we see their chests and they’re bare-footed. It feels like this is them being bare in general, open. Their chests show bc their hearts are open, feet are bare bc they are vulnerable (and when you google symbolism for being bare-footed, Wikipedia hits you with childhood and innocence so yes, they are innocent here, pure, like they wish to be). This is them being true and honest with each other, offering all those parts of themselves to the other to look at which they never previously had the courage to show.

At least that’s true in this dream, in this future they hope will become reality one day. In this future that, for now, ignores all the difficulties and obstacles between them (bc they have a lot of stuff to sort out and then Reboot happens and. Yeah well, the future never goes as you planned anyway).

Sitting and shoes on now, we then have Wu Xie offering this almost angry look to the viewer. He might be sitting slightly behind Xiaoge and lower than him but he’s the one who seems powerful here. Xiaoge looks almost childish (which might be just XYL’s personality showing through lol) and is focused on his own hands, the ground, and his shoes/legs. It feels like this is Wu Xie being the one aware for once, being the one who carries their worries, the one who sits there protecting Xiaoge so that Xiaoge can finally focus on something else. So that Xiaoge can be free and a little careless. That he can focus on himself and what he wants after giving so many years away for Wu Xie and his (at this moment non-existent or at least tainted) innocence. This is their dream; or at least Wu Xie’s dream bc somehow this whole photoshoot seems to focus on him instead of Xiaoge (like I stated before, he seems like a prop sometimes haha).

In contrast to that thought and the previous photos, this one actually puts Xiaoge on display tho. He’s at the front, in the middle of the photo, and if you don’t get distracted by Wu Xie’s eyes (hard, I know), then you most likely focus on Xiaoge and get stuck there. It feels intentional, like Wu Xie’s strong protective instinct is somehow left a bit hidden? Behind Xiaoge? Who is usually seen as the protector? Which is interesting imo bc at this point Wu Xie has learned to be very brutal, and in Ultimate Note (and before that), we see him being very fierce when it comes to him protecting those he loves. So this setting between them feels a bit like a dream too, a dream where Wu Xie has been able to pull away a little bc Xiaoge is alright while facing the world again. Xiaoge is not as vulnerable as someone who doesn’t know who he is and who to trust. He has found his place to be.

Then the two photos that confused me the most bc at first they felt like they didn't fit at all? They just felt... weird, even if they look absolutely stunning. Here we have Wu Xie and Xiaoge dressed in their second pair of suits (if these can be called suits?) with Xiaoge in this long cape thing and his arms half bare. Wu Xie’s outfit seems almost too simple compared to everything else he’s worn, and they are both now facing towards the same direction while previously they were either looking at each other, away from each other or, in Wu Xie’s case, the viewer.

Maybe these pictures were why I finally came to think about these as “the future” instead of just some type of “dream”.

Because in these pictures it feels like they are actually looking towards the future. Especially in this last photo they are both facing the light, side by side, in these clothes that feel almost like they’re… I don’t even know. Purified? Divine? Heavenly? Please excuse my lack of words but this just feels like that, like some kind of final peace where even their clothes are somehow on a higher level. It’s a dream-like future where they both can stand strong and be together forever, finally. (Also makes me think about how we see their rings in these pictures, like a sign of the bond they have formed and the bond they want to form (my left brain again: Pingxie married!!!! and this time am tired of arguing against that).)

And if we add the other photo up there, where they are slightly turned towards each other, sharing a look almost, it feels like they have decided to go. Like this is a mutual choice of walking forward, some kind of turning point like the last photo was in the previous post. They are going and the future is at their reach and it’s going to be amazing (or at least I believe so, once again, bc they deserve their happy ending).

What are we then left with? With a future that includes them being at peace, being content with each other and the surrounding world. A future that is, probably, more from Wu Xie’s point of view than Xiaoge’s but still so utterly loving for the both of them (bc what else would Wu Xie want than happiness for Xiaoge?). And then if we connect this to the other photos in the first part, this feels almost like that ideal reality coming to life in their future, that closeness and joy and basking in the other’s presence stretched to cover an eternity. It’s so soft and gentle and sweet. Just like Pingxie are always. And I’m not even surprised that their future includes all of this bc what else could they wish for than the final relief of being together?

#dmbj #ultimate note #pingxie #oh jesus this is a novel #i still hope any of this makes any sense #i lack words and a brain #but also just #this is my love letter to this photoshoot #bc bazaar is doing amazing #and i just have so many thoughts #and i realized so many things #while doing this #pls hit me with your thoughts #if you have anything to add or another view on this #am so curious #pingxiethoughtsandprayers

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