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blueberrylixie · 8 months

Text

gray thunder

rock band! jilix x fem! reader

word count: 10, 280 (yes this is a whole ass novel don't bully me)

content warnings: threesome, no m x m, soft dom!felix, soft, possessive jisung, pet names (sweetheart, love), they call reader slut, oral sex (m and f receiving), vaginal penetration, pussy job (barely), double penetration (both holes lol), fingering, overstimulation, cum swallowing, unprotected sex, creampie (use protection kids!),

let me know if i missed anything in this one-shot bc i tend to miss stuff! if you want to skip to the smut, scroll to the white heart divider! but i promise the build-up is worth it ((;

You had never been more nervous than you were at this moment. Your stomach was so filled with butterflies, you were scared they might fly out of your mouth in the form of something more solid. You had been waiting for tonight for the past three months, ever since you and your best friends bought tickets to see your number one favorite band in the world.

Black Petal.

You took a deep breath, your fingers playing with the bottom of your black velvet miniskirt.

"Are we going to drink tonight?" One of your two best friends asked from her spot next to you.

You all had taken an Uber to the concert venue, which was about half an hour away from your shared apartment.

You rolled your eyes. "No, we're not babes. We want to remember this night for the rest of our lives! We can't be drunk for the entire thing."

Your other best friend, who sat to your right, nodded. "We definitely shouldn't be drinking. This is going to be the best night ever, I don't want the only thing I remember to be the toilets. Not like last week."

"That's so real," you agreed.

The car finally pulled up to the entrance of the venue and stopped. The kind driver opened both doors for the three of you, and you piled out and into the line, which had already started outside the door.

"I can't believe we got here four hours early, and the line is already this long!" One of your friends complained as you got behind the fifty or so people who were already waiting. "Should I beg some of them to let us go ahead? What else is my pretty face good for?"

"Maybe we could sit on the ground and wait? These heels hurt my feet so bad," Your other friend suggested hopefully.

"We should flash the security guards, maybe they'll let us in," you joked.

You and your friends claimed that you were each like thunder, lightning, and rain.

You were the thunder, loud and a natural leader. You liked to share your opinions, and didn't care what other people thought about them. You wore whatever the hell you liked, said what you wanted, and were known to flirt around with any man within your reach. Of course, you left your friends' guys alone, but everyone else was fair game. A few people might find you obnoxious and over-the-top, but what was the fun in being liked by everyone?

Your second friend was lightning. She wasn't nearly as loud, but her personality was bright, and she made herself known in her own way. She didn't like to be the center of attention, but she was the most loyal, supportive friend who would die for those she loved in an instant. She always got scared of your crazy plans, but went along with them without question. Everyone loved that girl. You swore she'd done the impossible in getting everyone on her side.

Your last friend was rain. She could be quiet sometimes, or loud and lively at others. She was the mom friend, telling you off after you had all gotten punished for your insane ideas. But you knew she always had a great time, even if she wouldn't admit it. Sometimes people found her to be a bit of a party pooper, but what no one knew was that she had the best sense of humor out of anyone you'd ever met.

Thunder, Lightning, and Rain. That was you and your friends.

Finally, the line started to move as people were let inside.

The three of you started jumping up and down. Or rather, you and Lightning jumped up and down while Rain sighed, humoring you. She still held your hands though, and a smile was hidden behind that stormy face.

You were all let in, and immediately raced towards the pit. There was no assigned seating for your ticket tier, and you had hoped to get as close to the stage as possible.

You found standing space almost at the front of the pit, mere feet from the stage. Only two other people stood in front of you.

"Holy shit, how did we get so lucky??" Lightning squealed, hopping around and clapping her hands together. Her hair, which was pulled in two ponytails on the side of her head, bounced up and down as she jumped.

"I hope they notice us," you said, staring at the stage. The fact that your favorite band, consisting of eight of the hottest men in the world, would be standing on that stage in the very near future, was mind-blowing to you.

"They'll notice the two of you screaming at the top of your lungs," Rain laughed. "Maybe they like the mysterious one though. That's what I keep telling myself, at least."

"Maybe they'll see me because I'm taller than you both!" Lightning exclaimed. "Even with sneakers, I'm still taller!"

"Oh shut up," you rolled your eyes, nudging your friend with a fake pout. "Everyone knows guys like short girls!"

"Yeah, we're closer to the ground, that's good for other things too," Rain smirked, and you gasped playfully.

"I didn't know you were so dirty-minded!" You teased.

"Yeah, ewe!" Lightning pretended to cover her ears.

"What?? We look hot, even I can admit that!" Rain insisted.

Along with your velvet mini-skirt, you wore a cropped glittery gold tank top, with a loose neckline that scooped so low you had initially been afraid of a nip-slip. That would probably make headlines. You wore black boots with three-inch heels, just in case there were tall people standing in front of you. Thankfully, they were each about your height, so you'd have the perfect view.

Lightning wore an entirely light blue ensemble, consisting of a gauzy dress that hit three inches above her knees, with matching light blue leg warmers and blue sneakers. She hated high heels, and boasted that she could afford to wear comfortable shoes because she always towered over everyone anyways. Her hair was tied with matching light blue ribbons. She looked like a leggy piece of cotton candy.

Rain wore a black silk slip dress with lace along the bottom and top, and four-inch stilettos that you had no idea how she could walk in without face planting. She always wore some sort of heel, because she insisted she could watch the two of you better from a higher vantage point, even though it was just a couple of inches. Her hair was tied in a bun on the top of her head, making her look even taller. Still, she was shorter than Lightning.

"We do look so hot," you said decisively, running a hand through your hair, which was in a half up, half down style.

"There's no way they won't notice us, huh?" Rain's eyes gleamed with excitement. As calm as she usually was, you knew how crazy she could be when it came to Black Petal.

"They're just so amazing, aren't they?" Lightning sighed, closing her eyes as if she was imagining them in front of you right now.

"I can't believe they're actually going to be here," you agreed as you stared up at the stage. They had to be coming any minute now, right?

Suddenly, the lights dimmed so low it was practically pitch black, and music started playing.

"Holy shit!" You exclaimed, covering your mouth with one hand and grabbing onto Lightning with the other. Rain gripped your forearm so tight you thought it was going to fall off.

Then, the lights flashed back on, and all eight members of Black Petal were standing on stage, looking so hot you almost sobbed.

To the right of the stage was Changbin, the drummer, his hair mussed like he'd already been head-banging for the past hour. His arms were fully exposed in a leather vest, showing off those dizzyingly huge muscles that made your mouth water. In front of him stood Hyunjin, the rhythm guitarist. He wore a black Celine tank top that draped his lean-muscular frame perfectly. He licked his full, perfect lips as he grinned out at the crowd, like he knew he was hot.

In the middle stood the two vocalists, Jeongin and Seungmin. Jeongin donned a black suit jacket without a tie. Half of it was unbuttoned, giving just a hint of his entirely bare chest. Seungmin wore a short-sleeved black blazer with a fitted white tee underneath, highlighting his built stomach, with his shaggy brown hair draping over his forehead perfectly.

To the other side stood Minho, the second bassist, with Christopher, the keyboardist and lyricist for all their songs, behind him. Minho had black jeans that showed off his amazing thighs, and a matching black button-up, the sleeves rolled up to his forearms, exposing veins and hotness all over the place. Christopher looked drool-worthy in a tight black t-shirt and jeans, a black baseball cap over his messy hair as he stood behind his instrument, those perfectly large hands ready to play.

Jisung, the lead guitarist, and Felix, the first bassist, stood a few feet away from Minho. Jisung, who stood next to Felix, with his curly brown hair so long it almost covered his eyes, looked stunning in a suit, with a tie loose around his neck. Felix wore a black tank top and a loose-fitting fishnet long sleeve that still showed off his perfect arms and collarbone. His blond hair, which graced the nape of his neck, showed off his perfect skin even more, and you thought you fell in love right then and there.

They all looked fucking incredible.

"Hello Seoul!" Seungmin yelled, from his spot at the front of the stage.

The three of you screamed so loud, you knew your voice would be gone by the end of the night.

"We're Black Petal, and we're so excited to be here performing for you tonight! We've got some really special songs lined up, and we hope you enjoy them! Now who's ready to rock??" Seungmin looked around the stadium, which was completely sold out.

The entire room shook with the yells and screams from each and every person.

"I don't think they sound very excited, do you Seungmin?" Jeongin grinned at his bandmate, and they both shook their heads.

"We wanna hear you louder, Seoul!" Jeongin shouted, and the stadium boomed again with the crazed cries of their fans.

"Hell yeah!" Seungmin smirked at the crowd, and your heart stuttered at the sight. Damn that man and his famous smirks.

The band started off with one of their most well-known songs, and you, Lightning, and Rain squealed like little girls. You started jumping and singing along to the music, just the same as everyone else.

But you barely noticed those around you as you gazed up at the eight men on stage. The way they held themselves, the way they moved, entranced you. They were hot, and they knew it.

Jeongin and Seungmin came closer to the crowd, taking their microphones off the stands and singing right up next to the crowd, on your side of the stage. Holy shit, were your idols really standing a few feet in front of you??

Seungmin's chocolate brown eyes reflected off the hot stage lights, his blazer all the way open and his white t-shirt practically glued to his chest from sweat. Normally, you found sweat disgusting, but you just wanted to pull him closer and-

"Holy shit, he's looking at me!" Rain covered her mouth in a silent scream as she stared at the other vocalist, whose jacket was so loose it was practically all the way open. She was usually so calm, it was crazy seeing her so worked up.

Jeongin grinned down at the crowd, and it really felt like he was looking right at you guys. Maybe he was.

Before you could react, he was reaching down, that perfect hand of his inches away. He grabbed Rain's hand, pulling her so close to the edge of the stage that she had to stand on tiptoes to keep contact. Her cheeks were so red you thought she might burst a blood vessel as she stared up at Jeongin, who kept singing with that perfect voice of his, all the while staring at her like she was the only girl in the room.

"Holy shit she's living her main character moment!" Lightning gaped at her friend, twisting one of her ponytails around her finger over and over again. "Ugh, I'm so jealous!"

Before she could complain anymore, Seungmin, who stood next to Jeongin, winked down at her, and she instantly silenced, her mouth agape as she waved her free hand at him. He just chuckled and walked back to the center of the stage.

Jeongin, who had finally let go of Rain's hand, much to her chagrin, followed his friend. They put their arms around each other's shoulders as they finished out the first song.

"Holy crap girl, what the fuck????" You screamed at Rain, grabbing the hand Jeongin had held. "How was it?? What did it feel like??"

"I think I blacked out!" she gasped, staring down at her hand in awe. "Was that real?? This is a dream, this has to be a dream!"

"Seungmin stared right at me, I swear he did!" Lightning giggled, eyes following the second youngest band member like he was a juicy piece of meat. "He's sooo hot, and those eyes!"

You sighed inwardly. You were so glad your friends were getting so much attention from the band. Of course they were, they were gorgeous! But you couldn't help feeling a little left out. Did the guys not see you standing there too? You knew you were a catch. If your friends were getting noticed in this crowd of thousands, was it really that crazy to hope they might notice you too?

The second song started, and this time the bassists and guitarists came out front. Minho and Hyunjin stood next to each other, with Jisung and Felix on your side.

They started off with a crazy guitar riff from Jisung, which had all the girls practically melting down when he finished, his hair hanging in front of his face, a tired yet elated grin on his face. Felix followed with a funky bass riff that had everyone's jaw on the floor. When the full song started, the rest of the guys joined in force, their instruments a part of them as they played.

But even though you were supposed to be paying attention to all of them equally - and you did love all of them - you couldn't keep your eyes off a certain curly haired brunette and blond-haired bass player.

And somehow, they seemed to sense your heated gaze. Both of them looked up in unison, and your eyes met theirs. As if in synch, they both grinned at you, before approaching the crowd, just as Seungmin and Jeongin had.

But this time, both of their gazes were fixed entirely on you, like you were the prey and they the predator. Your entire mouth dried up like someone had forced you to eat a bunch of cotton balls.

You tried to swallow and bring some moisture back, but with two of the hottest men you'd ever witnessed just staring at you, it didn't work.

"Hey beautiful," Felix whispered, that deep voice instantly sending shivers down your back and heat to your center. He wasn't miced up, so no one could hear what he was saying. Your friends stared at you, eyes wide with shock and excitement.

"What's your name?" Jisung chimed in, running a hand through that perfect hair of his. His voice was softer than Felix's low one, but it still sent your heart thumping, your brain going fuzzy.

You could barely get your name out over the screaming of the crowd. With both of them so damn close, everyone was freaking out.

But out of all the people there that night, Felix and Jisung were talking to you. They were asking you what your name was.

You might be going crazy, but... from the way they were staring at you, to Felix's Adam's apple bobbing and Jisung's arms flexing, were they interested in you?

Jisung repeated your name, the word sweet like syrup rolling off his tongue. You understood what Rain said now. This felt like a dream. None of this was real. You were going to wake up in bed absolutely devastated in the next couple minutes.

Felix motioned for you to come closer, and you accidentally shoved the girl in front of you out of the way so you could stand next to them

"S-sorry!" You exclaimed, but you weren't really paying attention. This was a once-in-a-lifetime moment.

Minho and Hyunjin were carrying the bass and guitar while their members were distracted. They kept looking over at Felix and Jisung, a little confused about what they were doing, but they didn't try to stop them. They probably thought they were just interacting with fans, a usual occurrence at their concerts.

But there was nothing usual about this. At least not for you. You hoped they didn't flirt with all of their fans.

Felix leaned in so close to you, his lips brushed the curve of your ear, one of his hands coming down to caress your cheek. You visibly shuddered, and you could feel his mouth turn up in a pleased grin.

"Meet us backstage after the show, won't you Love?"

You couldn't say anything, your brain going completely blank as you tried to process his words. After a moment, you found it in you to just nod in agreement.

"Good," Felix stepped back, giving Jisung a conspiratorial nod, before turning back towards the stage and continuing to play, as if he'd never stopped.

Jisung waved at you with a cheeky grin before following Felix back to his spot.

You stared after them, unable to even sing along despite this being one of your favorite songs.

Was this really happening? Did the Lee Felix and Han Jisung just ask you to meet them after the show? Or so you assumed, based off the "we" Felix used when he invited you.

You weren't stupid. You knew what they wanted.

"What did they want??" Lightning gasped from next to you, grabbing your wrist so tight you thought the circulation might cut off. "They were whispering in your ear!!"

"The way he touched your face was so hot," Rain gushed.

"He wants to meet up with me after the concert," you said breathlessly.

"Oh my gosh????" Lightning squeaked. "Can we come with?? Maybe some of the other guys want to meet us too!!"

"Both you and Jisung?" Rain covered her mouth. "That's so hot."

"I know, I'm kinda freaking out right now," you said in as calm a voice as you could muster.

"Did you say yes?" Lightning breathed. "Please say you said yes."

"Who do you think I am? Of course I said yes!" you laughed in what you hoped was a cool-girl laugh.

But holy shit.

This was something you had, admittedly, fantasized about. After all, who didn't think about sleeping with any of the members from Black Petal? They had all gone viral not just for their looks, but their insane talent as well. They were known as the best rock band in Korea. Anyone would die to be in your position right now.

But they wanted to sleep with you. You sure as hell weren't going to turn down that offer.

The rest of the concert went by in a haze. You enjoyed every second of it. Every song, all the funny banter they had between each other. You sang at the top of your lungs, jumping around with your friends. You watched as some of the other members came over, notably Minho and Hyunjin, who also seemed to take an interest in your friends. They grinned at you with an almost knowing look on their face, like you were off-limits or something. You couldn't quite tell what they were thinking, but you didn't mind too much.

Because you still couldn't take your eyes off of Jisung and Felix.

The two stayed next to each other for most of the concert, which was a nice excuse to get to stare at them both the whole time. You could see Changbin and his perfect arms as he played the drums. Christopher with his big, calloused hands on the keyboard.

But really, you were just watching Felix and Jisung, who now stood in front of them. You weren't sure if you were imagining it, but it felt like they looked your way a lot more than they looked at everyone else. Every time your eyes met, your cheeks heated up. Their gazes were hot and heavy, like they were communicating their desire to you without words. But you didn't look away. Even with these literal celebrities, you knew when a man was into you. You were known to enjoy the attention of as many of them as possible, and they were no different.

Quite the opposite, in fact. It was somehow a million times hotter to have caught the attention of two of the biggest celebrities in the country. Men who women flocked to.

Now, even just for a night, they were yours.

The show ended with a bang.

"Thank you so much, everyone! This was Black Petal!" Seungmin called. The entire group waved goodbye, the crowd yelling and cheering, before the curtain closed, and they were gone.

People started filing out of the concert hall, but for a few minutes, you couldn't move. Had that all really just happened? Were you about to go out there and meet the band? Specifically Felix and Jisung?

"C'mon, let's go!" Rain nudged your arm, and you started from the contact.

"You're gonna take us with you to meet the band, right?" Lightning giggled, playing with her hair again. "I can't believe they actually talked to us! And want to meet us!"

You nodded, linking arms with each of them before making your way slowly through the crowd, and towards the stage. They wanted you to meet them back there, right? You just hoped it wasn't all a big joke, and security wasn't ready to tackle you when you showed up.

But apparently, the band must have told everyone that you were coming. Security just nodded at you as you headed backstage, as if they knew you personally. Their manager, a short woman maybe ten years older than you, stood outside their dressing room door.

"Hi!" You said as confidently as you could muster. "I'm-"

"I know, please come in," the woman nodded to all three of you before unlocking the door and letting you inside.

The room was surprisingly spacious for being wedged backstage. It was at least twice the size of your apartment, which you had to admit, wasn't large to begin with. The lights were headsplittingly bright, so much so that you had to squint. Two tables sat by the door, with a dozen or so chairs around each one. Another table was filled with snacks and drinks, and three half-full pizza boxes. There was a couch in the middle of the room, which looked surprisingly comfortable. A few managers paced around the room, talking on their walkie talkies to people outside.

Then you saw them.

All eight men were halfway done changing, and they were wandering around in lounge pants, no shirts to be seen. While they looked exhausted, they were comfortable being only half clothed. Holy hell. You could barely keep yourself from raking your eyes down each of their bodies.

Let's be real, you failed, miserably.

Jisung was the first to notice you. When he turned around, a slice of pepperoni pizza in his hand, his handsome face lit up like fairy lights. His eyes turned to half-moon crescents, his smile bright and excited.

"Hey, you made it!" He motioned you over, and you had no choice but to obey. It was like an invisible force was pulling you towards him.

Felix noticed the two of you almost instantly. He finished his slice of pizza, licking his pointer finger in an almost pornographic manner before approaching you, a sly grin on his face.

"Took you long enough," he chuckled, his clean hand coming to rest on the small of your back. Your eyes widened, but you didn't say anything, nor did you move out of his grasp. You didn't want to react so openly in front of his band mates, or even your friends, who knew basically everything about your sex life.

"What did you want with me?" You asked, trying your best to keep any sign of nervousness out of your voice. You sounded a lot more confident than you felt. How could you be, when two of the men you were literally obsessed about literally stood right in front of you?

Felix raised an eyebrow, glancing between you and Jisung, then back again. "I don't know much about you yet, Sweetheart, but I didn't take you for an idiot."

Heat flamed up your face, and you crossed your arms. "I could just leave, if you're gonna be mean. I get enough dick as it is without yours in the mix."

Felix let out a hoarse laugh, taking a sip from his water bottle. His eyes now glowed with a newfound interest.

Jisung instantly reached out and grabbed your wrist, shaking his head as he brought you even closer to him. You could smell a hint of his cologne, which smelled like woodsy pine, mixed with his sweat. Heat emanated off his bare skin like an open fire. And you were the moth, drawn to it.

"Don't leave, Love," he said softly, rubbing his thumb against the back of your hand. "Lix is just messing around, aren't you Lix?"

The blond-haired male shrugged and nodded, the hint of a grin still playing on his lips.

"I kid Sweetheart, I kid. We just want you so badly, we were impatient. That's all."

The hand that had once rested on your back replaced itself again, squeezing lightly.

"So, tell us about yourself," Felix's hand moved to your side and started rubbing, an inviting smile replacing that crafty look he'd donned a few seconds ago.

You paused, unsure of what to say. Why would these men, who were literal superstars, want to learn about you?

But you stopped your self doubt before it could go any further. They had gone great lengths to invite you and your friends here. If they were asking, you had to assume they were actually interested.

Besides, you were an interesting person, weren't you? You had an exciting life. Friends. Money. A good job. Who wouldn't want to get to know you?

"I work as a divorce lawyer here in Seoul," you said proudly, feeling more comfortable as you started talking about things you knew. "I graduated with my law degree last year, and I was hired straight out of an internship at the law firm. Those are my two best friends over there, and we go out together all the time. You guys are our favorite band, we love you so much," you couldn't help but gush, cheeks heating at the words.

"We love to hear it," Felix purred, leading you over to the cushy leather couch, which was still vacant. His hand immediately came to rest on your left thigh. Jisung claimed your right one, his head resting on your shoulder as you continued to speak.

"Outside of work, I go out clubbing, I love dancing. I love animals, and I volunteer at the animal shelter on the weekend," the words spilled out of you, as if you had known these men for a lot longer than a short thirty minutes.

"We saw you dancing to our music," Jisung grinned, his lips ghosting the nape of your neck. "It was pretty hot."

"We couldn't keep our eyes off you, Sweetheart," Felix nodded, his hand squeezing your leg.

"I-I couldn't stop looking at you guys either," you stammered against your will, but both men seemed to delight in your nerves.

"You ready to get out of here, Love?" Jisung asked, sliding his hand into your hair now, fingers dancing across your neck.

"Where are we going?" You asked, confused. Were they really just asking you to find somewhere to fuck them? Smooth.

"Our hotel, of course," Felix's lips slid down your neck, dusting kisses all the way down to your chest, and up again.

Your breath stuttered as you tried to get your bearings. You rubbed your thighs together as covertly as you could, wetness already pooling in your panties, but judging by their satisfied smirks, they both noticed. "I-what about my friends?" Was all you were able to choke out.

Felix glanced over at them. "I think they'll be okay. They're in good hands."

You watched the rest of the group out of the corner of your eye. Rain was chatting with Jeongin, who had shown her a great amount of interest during the show. Christopher had appeared at her other side, offering her a slice of pizza, as if you three hadn't just eaten before the show. Changbin watched them with an interested expression as he drank from his water bottle, those biceps flexing as he leaned against the table next to him.

Lighting was being cornered by the three remaining men. Despite being almost the same height, she looked small next to Minho, who had his arm propped up against the wall. He looked like he was interrogating her, based on the way her eyes widened further and further the more he spoke. Seungmin was watching them, an amused expression playing across his lips, while Hyunjin had his back up against the wall on her other side, his face barely a few inches away from her face.

They certainly looked like they would be fine without you. You could afford to leave them for the night. It wasn't like they weren't used to it. You all had sex lives.

You just had one more question. You weren't sure if it would make this whole situation even more awkward, but you had to ask.

"And... I would be leaving with the two of you?"

Both men looked at each other, similar smiles painted across their uniquely handsome faces.

"We're a package deal, Love," Jisung was the one to answer. His voice was calm, innocent even, as the two men stood up and started to put shirts on.

But you saw that hungry glint burn both of their eyes.

You knew you were in for a crazy night.

🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍

The short Uber right over to their hotel was torture. You could barely walk to the car you were so aroused, and when you finally got in, sandwiched between both of them, they refused to keep their hands off you.

It was pure heaven, if heaven was simultaneously physically painful. Jisung, being the possessive man that you were learning he was, had pulled you so close you were basically sitting on his lap, his hands roaming all over your back and ass, his lips leaving kisses against the outside of your tank top, not caring if he left wet marks. Felix had slid over next to you, sucking harshly on your neck as he slid your already short skirt up so high it was bunched around your waist, soaked panties exposed.

"Fuck, you're already so wet and we haven't even done anything," Felix snickered, his fingers ghosting over your pantie-clad core.

You shook beneath his stare, trying to move your hips against his curious hand. But he denied you, moving away right as you tried to satisfy your hunger.

"Be patient, Sweetheart," he slid his hand under your chin, bringing his face so close to yours, you could smell the mint gum he was chewing. Those dark eyes bored into yours, his alight with desire. You bit your lip and he groaned, pulling away and running a hand down his face.

"You're gonna be the death of me," he groaned as he sat back in his seat.

"It's only a few more minutes," Jisung encouraged you as he continued pawing at the front of your shirt. You slid a hand into his curly hair, your eyes closed as you pulled your lower lip into your mouth.

You could be patient. Because something told you it would be worth the wait.

———————————————

The three of you could barely make it inside the heavy wood door of their hotel room. Jisung had fumbled with the key, trying to get it to scan, for much longer than normal, before shoving the door open and dragging you to the couch, which sat in the middle of the soft white carpet.

The lamp in the living room automatically turned on, bathing the three of you in soft orange light.

The room was uncharacteristically large, with the bed situated in the corner, a tv a few yards in front of it. The entire place was the definition of lavish.

However, you scarcely had time to study the place, before Jisung, always impatient, pushed you onto the couch and straddled your hips, coming to hover mere inches above you before placing harsh kisses all across your neck, along your shoulders, your chest.

"I-I can't wait," he breathed against your skin, his fingers tracing your collarbones like they were masterpieces, his mouth coming to land on yours in a bruising kiss.

You immediately reciprocated, kissing back with equal reverence, opening your mouth and pressing your tongue against his lips, asking for entrance. He obliged, making soft, almost desperate whining noises as you explored him. He tasted of strawberries and desire, and you moaned against him, wrapping your legs around his waist to pull him closer.

"Have you forgotten about me already, Sweetheart?"

Felix, who had taken his time removing his shoes and fixing his hair, approached you, a disdainful look on that gorgeous face of his.

You had never thought Felix would be sadistic, or mean in any way, or any situation. In fact, he, along with Jisung, were known for being the sweet, nice ones of the group. The reality - at least in bed - was so far from that, it sent shivers down your spine. What else would surprise you tonight?

"No, of course not Lix," you cleared your throat, trying to keep the thudding of your heart in check. "How could anyone forget you?"

Jisung grinned at his friend apologetically. "We just got carried away, Lix. She's all yours," he glanced at you, that same glint appearing in his eyes again, "for now, at least."

You reluctantly unwrapped your legs from his waist, your core already pulsing with need. You just needed one of them - ideally both, but you'd take whatever you could get - to satisfy your needs.

"There's my pretty girl," Felix grinned wickedly down at you, his eyes crinkling up at the edges, his freckles barely visible in the dim hotel light. "I think we've done enough waiting now, haven't we?"

You found yourself nodding furiously, your hands reaching out to beckon him closer. He followed, approaching you like a starved animal.

When he got close enough, he gripped your waist with such force you let out a squeak of surprise. His lips smashed against yours with even more strength than Jisung's as one of his hands wandered up your shirt and ripped it off, leaving it a mangled tangle of threads as he threw it onto the ground. You were left in your lacy black bra, your nipples fully exposed to the chilly air. They instantly turned to stiff peaks, as they brushed against the front of Felix's plain white t-shirt.

You whined at the sensation, clawing at his back, desperate for more contact. You continued to kiss him back fervently, moaning needily into his mouth over and over again.

His teeth came out to bite your bottom lip and suck on it in an almost caring manner, taking the time to explore every crevice of your mouth. Your hands tangled in his hair, tugging as if you wanted him to let go, when you wanted anything but.

"Ji, Ji, please touch me," you gasped, breaking the kiss with Felix to look up at the other man, who was sitting and watching you in a chair a few feet away. "I-I need you both."

Felix smirked down at you. "One man isn't enough, is it?"

"You're more than enough Lix," you assured him, and he closed his eyes, his entire body shuddering at your words. "But I want you both, if you're offering yourselves."

"We are," Jisung said instantly, coming to your side, pulling the cups of your bra aside and latching onto your left nipple. He started sucking and licking like his life depended on it, as Felix started moving down the length of your body to your core, which was still pulsing with desire.

"Please Lix," you begged, although you weren't sure for what, your hand still in his hair as he gazed up at you, eyes so blown out they were entirely black.

Felix pulled your skirt off, leaving you in your matching bra and panties. He gazed at you appreciatively, licking his lips once before tugging them clean off, throwing them into a pile along with your ruined top.

He spread your legs, gazing upon your soaked cunt with a smug grin on his face. If you weren't so turned on, you would have kicked him.

"Please Lix, I'll keep whining until you touch me," you breathed, using your hold on his hair to push him closer to your aching center.

"Since you've been such a good girl, Sweetheart," he murmured, before diving in.

His mouth encased your entire pussy, licking and sucking, emitting the most obscene sounds you'd ever heard. His tongue worked in and out of your cunt, one of his hands coming up to massage your sensitive clit at the same time.

You gasped, rocking your hips up to meet his mouth as he slid a finger inside of you.

Jisung switched to your other nipple, and you pulled him up for a long, passionate kiss. His hands continued to massage your breasts as Felix added a second finger, pumping them both in and out of your cunt, which was so wet it was dripping onto the couch.

"F-fuck Lix, please don't stop!" You panted, voice muffled by Jisung's full lips against yours. "Feels so fucking good."

Felix chuckled against your core, and you shook at the sensation. His tongue fucked you in and out in rhythm with his fingers as he simultaneously sucked hard on your clit, making you see stars.

"Please, Lix, I'm close!" You moaned, gazing up at Jisung pleadingly, your mouth half-parted as he watched you with such intense desire you knew you were finished.

"You wanna cum, Love?" Jisung whispered, stroking your hair as he pinched each of your nipples. "You're being such a good girl for us, just cum in Lix's mouth, yeah?"

You nodded, your eyes unable to leave Jisung's face as he reached down to touch your core as well, rubbing your clit at the same time as Felix fingered you.

And that was the end for you.

"O-oh shit!" You cried, hands gripping the edges of the couch as you tumbled over the edge, your vision going white as you came so hard, your body lifted off the couch, and you collapsed back down in front of Felix, gasping and shaking as you stared at both men in front of you.

He continued to lick and suck on your drenched cunt, lapping up every drop of release that came out of you, until you started whimpering with overstimulation. He finally let go, licking his lips and sliding back up your body to press his lips against yours. You could taste yourself on his tongue, but it just turned you on further.

"Now Jisung is gonna make you feel really good, Sweetheart," Felix murmured against your mouth, breaking the kiss to slide both of his fingers, which were coated with your release, into your mouth.

You whimpered in response, watching as Jisung removed his pants and positioned himself at the entrance to your cunt, which was still fluttering with pleasure from your first - and best - orgasm.

You sucked on Felix's fingers, wrenching a moan from the man, as you watched in awe as Jisung stroked his cock once, twice, before rubbing his length up and down the entrance of your soaked cunt, groaning as the lewd sounds filled his ears and wetness began to envelop him. He was completely hard and very long, a bit on the skinny side, but so pretty. Your mouth watered, tempted to lick the bead of precum slipping across the tip.

"Please Ji, inside," you implored, gazing down at him with wide eyes.

Jisung groaned, unable to resist you. "You sure you're ready, Love?" He said, his voice low with barely-tethered control.

You nodded silently, and Jisung reared his hips back, before slipping the tip of his cock, which was positively throbbing with bridled desire, inside your cunt.

"More," you gasped, your body instantly tightening around him as he struggled to push himself further in.

Felix stood next to you, his cock uncomfortably hard in his sweatpants, creating an obvious tent right by your face. It brushed the side of your cheek, and you turned, reaching out and tugging his pants down, leaving him in his boxers. Just from the outline of him, you could tell he was huge.

"Do you need help there, Lix?" You asked in the most sultry tone you could muster, batting your eyelids up at him.

At the same time, Jisung bottomed out inside you, letting out a guttural moan as he did so, your cunt tightening around him so he could barely breathe.

"Fuck, Love," he growled, his eyes squeezed shut. He began thrusting in and out of you in quick, shaky jerks, unable to control his movements.

Felix smirked and nodded, tugging his boxers off and kicking them to the side. His cock, heavy with arousal, sprung free, and you instantly reached out, grabbing hold of the base.

He was certainly thicker than Jisung, maybe an inch shorter. The tip of his cock was angry with arousal, precum already smeared across his length. You licked your lips, eager to please.

Felix hissed an oath through his teeth, his eyes barely slits as he gazed down at you. Your body rocked back and forth from the power of Jisung's thrusts as he held your waist, fucking into you with messy shoves of his hips.

"Fuck yeah, just like that baby," Felix praised you, and your cunt tighened at his words. Jisung whimpered at the added pressure, his hips stuttering for a moment as he got his bearings.

You suck your tongue out and kitten-licked Felix's cock, tasting the salty warmth of precum spread throughput your mouth.

"Don't fucking tease me, Sweetheart," Felix spat, grabbing the back of your head and pushing you onto his length without warning.

Your eyes widened as you immediately gagged on him. He was thicker than you'd expected, and longer too. His tip hit the back of your throat, bringing tears to your eyes, but you refused to give up. You started bobbing your head up and down, sucking with just the right pressure, taking him fully until your nose hit the small patch of hair against his pelvis. You breathed in the musky smell of him, a sexy, ocean scent you were now addicted to. You pulled him out of your mouth, swirling your tongue along his tip and over the prominent vein along the side of his length. He groaned through gritted teeth, throwing his head back and thrusting himself against the back of your throat again and again, his hand still gripping your hair.

Jisung removed his hands from your hips, his fingers going to play with your clit, rubbing your already-sensitive nerves as he bullied himself deeper inside of you. He hit that spongy part deep inside of you, and you let out a tortured gasp, your cunt fluttering around him as his fingers moved faster, eagerly chasing your release. Your hips bucked up to meet his, and he almost came on the spot.

You started whimpering so loudly, your entire body shaking so hard, Jisung knew you were close. He continued to slam his cock against that perfect spot, the squelching sounds of your cunt driving him crazy p, until you squirmed underneath him, your entire body seizing up, moaning around Felix's sensitive cock, until you finished around him, all garbled whines and moans.

Jisung knew he couldn't last much longer. The sensation of your tight pussy getting impossibly tighter as you came sent him over the edge.

"Fuck Love, you keep doing that, and I'm gonna cum inside you," he bit out, pushing the sweaty hair from his eyes as his hips continued to stutter forward, your hips still moving against him, milking him till the end.

"Please cum inside me," you whimpered softly, your voice almost unintelligible around Felix's girth.

Felix groaned, laughing as he thrust himself into your wet mouth. He grabbed your chin, forcing your mouth open further. He closed his eyes, letting out a choked grunt, before finishing down your throat. He tapped his cock on the outside of your mouth a few times, before saying, "Fuck dude, I guess you got no choice now. She's begging for it."

You opened your mouth to show both men you'd swallowed all of his warm, salty cum. Felix pressed his lips against yours, Jisung's cock getting impossibly harder. What kind of other-worldly being were you?

Jisung all but snarled, his body falling on top yours as he started to hammer into you, all sense of control forgotten. You begging for him to cum inside you, swallowing Felix's cum like the obedient slut you were, had undone him. He couldn't hold on any longer.

"Shit, shit, shit, you know what you're doing don't you you little slut," he panted, the words almost foreign on his lips as his hips turning to sloppy jerks, as he pounded in and out of your wet heat a few more times, before emptying his cum deep inside you.

You moaned loudly. Now that Felix had finished, you were able to fully express your pleasure as you bucked your hips up against him, wrapping your legs around him once more. Your throat was deliciously sore, your mouth still covered with Felix's cum, but you found it that much hotter.

"Fuck Ji," you hiccuped, teary eyes landing on the man as he gently slid out of your cum-stained pussy, collapsing on top of you. Letting go of Felix, you pulled Jisung close to you, pressing your lips against his, your hands going to his strong, sweaty chest, fingers roaming all over his body, continuing to explore him. He moved against you, not caring that you tasted of Felix's cum. In fact, he found it extremely sexy. His cock, which was exhausted from his eagerness to please you, had already begun to get hard again. Were you that irresistible? Of course you were.

"Wanna switch places?" Felix grinned in satisfaction, his perfect white teeth glinting in the orange light of the hotel lamps. "It's about time I had a turn in this gorgeous pussy."

Your cunt clenched at his words. You'd felt how big he was in your mouth. You could only imagine how big he'd be inside of you.

Jisung smirked, glancing from you to Felix. "Can I have a turn in her other hole?"

You opened your mouth to protest, but Felix shrugged before you could say anything. "That is our thing, isn't it?"

You glared at both of them, hurt coursing through you. "You do this with all your fans? That's really flattering. Maybe I should just leave you to it, I'm sure you'll find someone-"

Felix stopped your fighting words with a passionate kiss, his tongue swiping over your bottom lip as you melted into his touch.

"No one is better than you, Sweetheart," he cooed, kissing down your neck before biting on a soft vein. You whined, but didn't move.

"You better be telling the truth," you grumbled, but you had already folded. You would give these men anything they asked for.

Jisung took the opportunity while Felix was sucking on your neck like a vampire to slot his mouth against yours. He was a lot less smooth with his movements than Felix, clearly just as needy as you were.

"Mm, Ji, you taste so good," you murmured against him, one of your hands moving to each man's hair.

He groaned, his eyes fluttering shut at your words. "I need you again, Love," he sighed dreamily, his hand going down to stroke his cock as he continued to kiss you so sloppily, drool ran down your chin.

Felix kissed down your stomach, along your hips, ghosting against your bare pussy, and sucking your inner thighs, leaving bruises all the way.

"You ready to be on top, Sweetheart?" He smiled wolfishly at you, his mocha eyes glinting with seduction.

"It'll give me space in the back," Jisung added to comfort you, running a hand through your hair before you had time to protest. You shut your mouth, nodding obediently. Felix glanced at Jisung, impressed by his convincing skills.

Felix was about to give in anyways and flip you over onto your back, when you decided it was time to take charge instead. You weren't a dominant woman in bed, persay, but you loved the look of surprised desire in a man's eyes when you made the move on them. Seeing as Felix was clearly used to taking control in the bedroom, you wanted to shock him a little.

So you sat up on the couch, gripped his muscular shoulders, and pushed him into the couch. His eyes widened with pleased astonishment as he let himself be shoved down, his head hitting the soft material beneath him as you hovered over him. Just that look alone caused your cunt to clench around nothing, a quiet moan escaping your kiss-swollen lips.

You straddled his waist, lining his thick cock up with your aching center, before impaling yourself on all eight inches of him, taking him all the way to the hilt.

You let out a guttural moan, throwing your head back as Felix grunted underneath you, his hips immediately thrusting up to meet yours, pounding into you at a bruising pace.

You whimpered as his cock hit your g-spot over and over again. You reached behind you, seeking pleasure from the other man in the room. He was spreading lube onto his cock, prepping himself for what was sure to be a tight squeeze.

"Ji, please, kiss me," you gasped, bouncing yourself up and down on Felix's cock.

"Fuck yes, baby," Felix grunted, breaths coming hard and fast as he was already coming undone. "You think you can take control, huh? I'll let you have your fun for now, then you'll see."

Jisung wrapped his arms around the back of your waist and pressed his lips to your impatient ones. Your body was twisted around so you could kiss him, and you watched out of the corner of your eye as he continued stroking his cock. The squelching sounds from Felix fucking into your pussy mixed with the sounds of the lube on his dick was like a symphony, and your entire body shuddered from the pure hotness of it all.

Jisung slid a finger against your hole, and you moaned, your head falling against his shoulder as you broke the kiss.

"Please, be careful," you breathed, your eyes fluttering as you tried to stay present for both men, everything threatening to overwhelm you. "I-I've never done this before."

"Fuck, she's never been fucked in the ass before," Felix cock hardened impossibly more inside of you, and you squeaked in pleasure, your hips rising and falling with such intense need you didn't know what to do with it all.

"I'm honored to be your first then," Jisung murmured, nipping your earlobe before sliding a finger inside of you.

"O-oh shit," your breaths came in short, quick bursts as you tried to accommodate the foreign sensation. It wasn't painful, yet, just uncomfortable.

"Just getting you ready for me," Jisung murmured against you, kissing your jawbone as he spoke. "Don't want to hurt you."

Jisung wasn't quite as thick as Felix, but he was longer. Still, you weren't sure if he was going to fit in such a small hole.

He added a second finger, gently scissoring them in and out. You squirmed against him, gasping when a searing pain zipped through you, down your spine.

"You're doing amazing for us, Love," Jisung praised, holding your waist steady with his free hand.

"I think she's ready, Jisung ," Felix hissed beneath you, his movements becoming progressively sloppier, his brain going foggy as he became drunk on your perfect cunt. "I'm gonna bust way too fucking fast in this tight pussy, and I want both of us to be inside her before I do."

You whined, turning your body back around so you faced Felix again. You weren't sure if you would be able to watch as Jisung entered you. It was all so overwhelming, but you loved it at the same time.

Jisung's long cock prodded against your hole, and you shook against him, gripping Felix's lean, veiny arms. You had drooled over those arms for years, and now you were able to hold them, kiss them. You leaned down so your chests pressed together, your sensitive nipples brushing against his chest. You nestled yourself against his neck, breathing heavily as you fucked yourself up and down on his cock, equal parts excited and terrified for what was to come.

"You're being the perfect little slut for us, aren't you Sweetheart?" Felix's deep voice was hoarse with lust as his cock hammered in and out of you, sweat slipping between your two bodies. "You were practically begging for us to fuck you in both holes, weren't you? You wanted this."

Despite his harsh words, he lifted your chin up before mashing your lips together. His eyes were closed as he licked your bottom lip, an extremely vulnerable moment despite what was happening.

Jisung gently pressed the tip of his cock into you, and the tightness nearly took his breath away. Gasping from the unexpected pleasure, he gripped your waist as he slowly eased himself in.

"O-oh, Ji please, slower," you breathed, your eyes, which had been blissfully shut moments before, were now wide open, gazing down at Felix with a mix of pleasure and pain, excitement and fear.

Felix ran his hands along your spine reassuringly, pressing his lips against your arms, which were now propped against his chest.

"You're doing so well for us, Sweetheart," he purred, his other hand brushing the hair back from your shoulder. "You're making Jisung feel so good, he might cum early."

"Not true," Jisung growled through gritted teeth. He was trying to go slow for you, he really was. But the tight heat of your body just did something to him, something no other woman had done to him before. You were addicting. You were his.

You squeezed your eyes shut for a moment, letting your body get accustomed to the sensation of two people inside of you at the same time. It hurt like hell, to be honest, but it was also somehow liberating, knowing you could give pleasure to two men like this.

"You can move again," you finally murmured, glancing back at the man behind you and nodding. You wanted to make him feel good. And you wanted to know if it could make you feel good too.

Jisung kept moving, watching you every second to make sure you weren't in too much pain. Slowly, he bottomed out inside of you.

You collapsed back on top of Felix, who hadn't moved once since Jisung started entering you from behind. He didn't want to overstimulate you. He found himself wanting to put your needs before his own. That was new for him.

Jisung sat there for a moment, a silent question hanging, asking if you were okay for him to move.

"P-please move," you finally got out, the intense sensations of Felix's thick cock and Jisung's long one causing both holes to clamp down on each of them. "I-I think I'm ready."

Felix didn't need to be told twice. His hand slid into your hair as he began thrusting in and out of your sopping cunt, pulling you close so he could gaze into your eyes. As much as he didn't want to admit it, he had already fallen for you. He didn't want you to be with anyone else. You were his. His and Jisung's.

Jisung, with one final glance to check in on you, began moving in time with Felix's thrusts. When Felix moved in, Jisung moved out. The two of them had shared multiple women in the past, so they fell into an easy, practiced rhythm. But this time, it felt different, to both of them. Jisung could feel his heart physically ache in his chest as he gazed down at you, sweat shining off your back, your hair a mess, as you pressed kiss after kiss against Felix's neck, tortured moans spilling from your lips like a prayer.

"Please, faster," you sobbed, tears staining Felix's skin as both men had their way with you. The pain you once felt had opened up to reveal a new kind of pleasure, one you had never felt before. The sounds of both cocks thrusting in and out of you caused you to whimper, your body wracking with shudders against them.

Felix reached down between your legs, his thrusts not slowing, as he rubbed harsh circles against your aching clit, and you were undone. He touched just the right spot over and over, You whimpered his name over and over again, your hips stuttering forward, out of your control.

"I-I'm going to cum, Lix," you panted, bouncing up and down on his cock faster and faster, chasing your orgasm. You threw your head back as you tumbled over the edge, your hips bucking against him, your whole body quaking as you came down from your high.

He growled against you, his fingers dipping into your cunt before licking the arousal off of them. His hips pounded harder into you, his eyes lighting with the fire you knew meant he was close. You let him pound into you, your orgasm rising to crescendo again, his cock pressing so deep against your cervix you could feel him in your stomach. You pressed a hand against him, and he groaned loudly, his hips stuttering with pleasure. You watched in fascination as his perfect, toned abs flexed, and without warning, he emptied himself deep inside of you.

Jisung watched in fascination as the two of you came together, and his hips instantly sped up. He had tried to hold off until you came, and now that you had, he let himself free, using you however he liked.

You turned around, lasering him at him with a coquettish stare. Those entrancing eyes drew him closer to you, his hips snapping forward of their own accord as he kept eye contact. You whimpered, biting your lip and gazing at him pleadingly. He thrusted as hard as he could, his eyes screwed up, his fingers pressing so tight against you, they were sure to leave bruises on your hips.

"Fuck me Ji, harder," you begged, staring at him with those doll-eyes, your hole sucking him in further.

"L-love-" he choked out, managing a few more sloppy thrusts before releasing inside of you. He stayed inside your warm, tight body before pulling out and tugging you on top of him, completely spent.

Felix grunted as you toppled over to lay on Jisung's chest, the two men moving to sandwich you in an embrace. Despite the couch being small, you didn't mind these two lean men squeezed right next to you. Jisung, who spooned you from behind, pressed his warm lips against your neck over and over again, sending tingles down your spine. You shivered, giggling softly, nuzzling him with your nose in response. Felix, who had turned to face you from his position in front, held your waist, pulling your face close as he kissed your lips over and over, like he couldn't get enough.

"I bet you entice all the ladies with these moves, don't you?" You tried to smile at your joke, but it felt forced. You couldn't imagine what it looked like to them.

"We don't do this for anyone else," Felix said simply, tracing circles against your soft skin. "We always kick them out after."

"Right after," Jisung agreed.

"We wouldn't want to give them the wrong idea, ya know?" Felix kissed the side of your mouth, winking at you.

"Next time, I want to be in your mouth," Jisung broke in, play-pouting as he breathed in the floral scent of your hair.

You hid a smile, just shrugging your shoulders carelessly. "Will you be able to last in my mouth, Ji?" You smirked as he frowned, pretending to be hurt as Felix chuckled lowly at your words.

But inside, you were grinning like a fool.

There would be a next time.

laska's note —

wow, this was SO long and i half apologize, half don't for that. i got a bit carried away hehe. this is a late happy birthday gift to jilix so wish our men a happy birthday!

part of the story was set up, so i gave you a marker for where the smut starts! this one shot is going to be a series, with lightning and rain getting their fun too! so definitely keep an eye out for that. please leave as many comments as you'd like, i love to read them! again tysm for your support on these, they're great fun for me! love you all <33

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pathetic-sapphic · 10 months

Note

Hewwo! Your blog looks spectacular! If you would, could you write Mercy and Widow hc for them with a s/o that has mechanical wings attached to their spine? Fully functional and everything, just tends to be a problem when s/o turns around fast and almost smacks some bc they don't have a lot of spacial awareness

Mercy and Widowmaker with a S/O who has mechanical wings attached to their spine

MERCY

At first, she thinks they are so cute because you two are matching and she is overall very interested in them, thinking that they look lovely on you.

When she finds out that they're attached to your spine, she bombards you with questions as now she is even more intrigued, but also worried for you!

How did you get them? Why did you decide on this design? Did getting them attached hurt? Do they cause you any pain now, Liebling?

Before you even get the chance to quell her worries, she starts dragging you to the medbay but you manage to stop her and convince her that you aren't in any pain. Safe to say, she is quite relieved and even more curious once you explain everything!

If you let her, she'll spend hours looking over them and lightly tracing over the mechanics and the design with her fingers.

She knows how hard it is to constantly try to maintain awareness for the people around you with such an addition attached to your body.

Makes sure to always keep a hand at the nape of your neck or the small of your back so she can softly guide you and make sure there are no accidents while you're around others. Plus, it never hurts to be so close to you.

Likes calling you her little dove or her angel both because of your pure heart and spectacular wings.

WIDOWMAKER

The first time she sees you she is taken aback by your beauty and the wings that adorn your stature. She tries to feign disinterest although she is secretly quite intrigued.

She really hopes that the process of attaining them wasn't as physically and mentally painful as her own alterations were. Lets out a relieved sigh when you explain to her that you aren't in any pain because of them.

Will get flustered if you carry her around and take flight, she tries to deny it but she could feel her usually slow beating heart pick up its pace due to the pure adrenalin and ecstasy that your actions evoke in her.

She is both a little amused and mildly annoyed at your clumsiness and lack of spatial awareness.

You know how some cars have sensors that start beeping once the driver is at risk of hitting something? Yeah, she genuinely thought about asking Moira to make those for you.

However, she hates the thought of Moira's cold and calculated hands anywhere near you so she simply keeps an eye on you to make sure you don't hurt yourself or others whenever you aren't paying attention.

Loves to call you her butterfly, captured in the alluring spider's web.

a/n: thank you for the request and your kind words, i hope you will enjoy reading this <3

#overwatch #ow2 #overwatch headcanons #overwatch x reader #overwatch widomaker #widowmaker x reader #widowmaker x y/n #widowmaker #overwatch mercy #mercy x reader #mercy x y/n #angela ziegler #amelie lacroix

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n3onwraith · 3 months

Text

I forgot to post that I drew Needles! You can't tell, I haven't made the HC doodles comprehensive yet, but hisbneedles hide under his skin and eject when needed, like those spike traps but millions of needles!

I'm gonna put all my HCs below the cut just to spare yall

He's def a natural redhead to me, but bleached it a lot before becoming an avatar

Technically, this would only be his human disguise thing. Full eldritch is reserved for attacking ppl and defense, which is rarer than attacking people, and in that form he's all lanky with all his needles out all the time like a fucked up longhorse and pincushion had a baby and it got possessed

He just has no sense of pain most of the time, at least related to intrinsic issues. Getting stabbed or shot hurts, but when his bones constantly break as Eldritch Needles or when his limbs fall off (like Sally from Nightmare Before Christmas) he doesn't feel all the pain, just a tinge or a pinch

Can remove his needles from his skin, but their 'slot' stays open until he puts them back or replaces them (like shark teeth, he grows them but can also swap them out for found ones) and he uses that to sew himself back together as needed

Lots of piercings, most home-done. Really only his lobe and one of three cartilage rings is professional, he did the rest as an angsty teen for fun

Was turned as a late teen/in his early twenties, and therefore his disguise stays looking that age because that's the only way he really remembers who he is and what he looked like. Eldritch Needles is just a fucked up skinsuit really, a puppet for what he needs to do, and Needles himself can't remember or guess what he would look like by now (bones, probably, with his luck, but he was taken as an avatar/eldritch in the 90s/early 2000s so realistically only around 40-50 or so)

Got in a ton of accidents as a kid, always was and always is banged up somehow

Flashes his needles and puffs up on instinct when things piss him off, has to stop himself from doing it around people

A gifted kid for the institute who ended up being neglected outside of schoolwork and what he could do (projection?)

Glitters in the sunlight even with the needles put away. Its just bcs he's got so much metal in him and the sunlight catches the slots weird enough to glint briefly

The jacket reacts the same way his hair and needles do, like an external organ, but it's only due to it being part of his avatar influence shit and its not actually a part of him. It goes dormant when removed or unwanted

Like a hedgehog hair-wise, it's harmless and like regular hair until it's Needle Time (TM)

Easily offended/angered, as seen in the 911 call, and likes to fuck with people. I'd guess older sibling if he had any, but the kind where you matured too fast and then slowed your roll so late you were the immature one (projecting)

Likes to be colorful but in a dull way. Washed out colors just suit him better in his opinion and let him express himself without drawing attention to himself and the fact he's not quite human anymore

Gap teeth <3 Wanted to get braces as a teen but didn't, still pissed about it because now he can't and it doesn't matter since hes not human anymore anyways. slowly learning to like the gap when his angel fangs don't get stuck in em

Didn't draw it but he has snake bites too, just rarely wears them. It's either angel fangs or snake bites but never both because they tend to snag for him

A parallel of both Nikola and Michael, kind of. He's got little bits that Norris, Chester and Augustus would recognize if they ever met him, like his speech pattern and penchant for never giving straight answers, but he's got his own thing going on more than the parallels ever could be.

Rip off Cheshire Cat. Alice in Wonderland, the animated one, was his favorite movie growing up for the colors, and when he got older for the story

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boobabietch · 9 months

Note

hi there! i saw that now you’re writing for gwen stacy so can i ask for dating gwen hcs?? thanks!!!

Dating Gwen hcs | Gwen Stacy x Reader

Warnings: suggestive in the slightest bit but mostly pure fluff

A/N: oh my god i can’t even explain why was this so hard to write!! I just had the worst writer’s block I’ve ever had but a million years later it’s finally here! I love this woman so so much so I really want you guys to like this post as much as I liked it!! So if you enjoyed this a like, comment or reblog would be amazing also don’t stop requesting bc I live, laugh, love for your requests. As I always say english is not my first language so if there are any mistakes please please tell my so I can change them asap. Love Sof :)

Word count: 995

This woman is literally two different people, Spider-Woman and Gwen, and they are completely different

Spider-woman is super cool and badass with this heavy girlboss energy

And let’s face it, Gwen is normally a very awkward person (this is said with the very best intentions!).

So let’s talk about Gwen for a moment

When you guys started dating, I JUST KNOW that Gwen was super shy.

This woman had only two (2) friends in her life, and there is no sign of a romantic relationship before you, so for her, it was like walking on eggshells

I feel like it takes some time for her to really open up and be 100% comfortable and not super self-conscious.

Due to her complicated relationship with her father and the Peter incident, she tends to be very bad speaking about her feelings, and that can lead to some troubles during your relationship

But don’t get me wrong, she means well!! She loves you, and even if speaking about what she’s feeling is hard she really tries to be good for you

I’m a firm believer that Gwen’s love language is quality time and physical affection, but I’m going to elaborate on quality time a lil bit:

Her favorite moments of the day are the ones she shares with you, she is never happier than when she’s with you

She really likes taking you on dates!!

Most of the time is nothing really fancy like a dinner date or something like that, she enjoys casual dates a lot more

I like to think that she’s a simple girl, her life is a complicated tangled mess, so she really likes to be able to relax, just you and her and that it’s enough

Loves movie dates!!

Most of the time she lets you choose whatever you guys are going to watch because she knows that 90% of the time she is not going to pay attention to the screen at all because she will be looking at you, your little reactions to the movie playing, your little laughs, smiles and confused stares at the screen, she loves capturing all those little details of yourself, so she can imagine them when she’s in a complicated situation and needs comfort

Oh god, she is CLINGY asffff

She might even be touch starved

When you guys are alone, she’s all over you

Hugging you from behind when you're cooking (because I know this girl doesn’t know how to cook for shit, so you always do it for her) pecking the back of your neck occasionally just to see the goosebumps form on your skin

She likes laying her head on your chest when you are laying on her bed and talking about your day, bonus points if you play with her hair cause she’ll turn into putty immediately

Gwen loves kissing you.

Any kind of kiss, she is weak for that, she loves the feeling of your lips on hers, her lips on every inch of your body, or even your lips in every inch of her body, it grounds her, she likes the intimacy of this acts because it’s something she only does with you, and you only do it with her, she likes that.

She is a big fan of making out with you.

At first, she is a little hesitant with physical touch, always scared that one wrong step and she’ll make you uncomfortable

But once your relationship grows stronger, she sees that there is something so comfortable about being in her or your room, bodies pressed together, heavy breathing, and messy kisses being the soundtrack of the evening just enjoying the feeling of her lips on yours, not caring about anything at all

If you play with the hair on the nape of her neck while making out, oh. my. God. She’s in fucking heaven

She can get a little carried away while making out, she usually ends up straddling your lap with her hands under your shirt, caressing your bare skin

I just know this woman is super vocal!! So when you’re making out and there’s people home, loud music or a loud movie is A MUST, she doesn’t want people thinking you guys are doing other things, or she doesn’t want people to know you are actually doing other things…

She lives this super stressful and chaotic life, and she finds a LOT of comfort cuddling with you, before sleeping, in the morning, after a stressful day, as aftercare, etc

She. Loves. Cuddles.

She’s the little spoon (ofc she is) cause let’s think about it, she saves New York from falling apart every day; she takes care of everyone and everything, so she really likes to feel like someone’s taking care of her, that someone being you, ofc.

So she always goes to your place after a long day, goes straight to bed, and just buries her face in the crevice of your neck and entangles her legs with yours while you hug her extra tightly.

And honestly speaking, that is home for her.

Gwen is a very shy person, so she’s not really fond of PDA, she thinks it’s uncomfortable and a lil bit disrespectful if you go to far

That doesn’t mean she doesn’t engage in any kind of physical affection in public, she’s just more subtle

Hand holding and cheek kisses FOR THE WIN!!

Being with her means a lot of wound tending, physically and emotionally

But at the end of the day, you are the most precious thing in her life, and she would go to far extents to make you feel good in every aspect

You love her, and she loves you, and she wouldn’t even dare to ruin that

I love this girl so much it’s ridiculous :((

Anywayssss

Requests are: Open!

Masterlist

#lesbian #fanfic #gwen stacy x reader #spider man: across the spider verse #spider gwen #gwen stacy #gwen stacy fanfiction #gwen stacy fluff #into the spider verse #across the spiderverse

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homocrafting · 1 year

Text

turns out whatever instinct in me makes me want to make tma aus is unstoppable and all consuming. so here's qsmp tma au focused on the brazillians:

cellbit- he HAS to be the archivist ok this man is so eye aligned it's not even funny. HOWEVER because qcellbit and fcell are the same person, Events happened to him before he became the Archivist, ala from the archives grian. local paranormal enthusiast finds dead half eaten bodies, gets arrested for it (he SWEARS he didn't eat those people), goes to prison for 10 years, goes nuts (becomes F!Cell), kills himself in the island, wakes up in his room and Felps tells him "bro you disappeared for 10 days are you ok" and he's just like. What.

Worth mentioning that he fucking speedruns the archives. also known as the qsmp. Cucurucho, who is kind of like elias but a bit less (I inagine the Host would be elias, wjoever they are), thinks "wooo new archivist I wonder how long it'll take them to find out abt the horrors" and then cellbit shows up 3 days later running on 2 hours of sleep and 20 mugs of coffee with a consipracy board connecting a bunch of statements and theorizing about entities

ALSO the web is around him like all the time. if you pay attention there's at least 2 spiders near him at all times, usually hidden because he squishes them when he sees them. he's tangled in the web of lies that is the plot I'm making for this au and his ass is NOT beating it

Felps- Stranger type of guy who doesn't even know and takes like. a year to realise something's up with him. don't worry abt it ok I don't know why he's stranger-y to me either. it's the vibes just trust me

Mike- ok so. I am Very unsure for pac and mike, PLUS I've not seen herobrine a lenda, which means I don't know all their backstory, BUT I'm thinking Lonely for Mike, so far? he kind of distances himself from everyone after richas dies with him, so far is the only person I've not seen much gay happenings happen to, tends to disappear to fuckall nowhere apparently, as one does. also the fact that, back in prison, he seemed to have the most difficulty connecting with others.

also, the Desolation hates him personally. he doesn't know why. his house has burnt down thrice. he gets burnt by the littlest things for no reason. he's banned from the kitchen. an avatar of the desolation tried to kill him once. he watched his own son die in front of him. this is based on nothing from qsmp or anything I've seen Mike do I just think it's funny

Pac- I can only think of Vast and Spiral for him tee bee eich. Leaning heavily towards the Vast because, you know. gestures to the giant hide and seek maps, and also O RAIO, even though I have 0 context for that. he just... he explores the world and made giant hole (yeah yeah holes are the buried but consider: it's big.). it's his "I can show you the world" vibes. again dude just trust me

note abt tazercraft: both of them are very, very touched by the Spiral. reason? Chume Labs

Forever- I'm thinking either the Buried (mostly the digging aspect- he's destroyed a whole mountain and dug up and entire desert), or the Hunt (his intense hunt for Phil's love, the insane grinding that could be seen as hunting for resources, the werewolf hc my beloved). Leaning more towards the Hunt bc dogboyyyyy

The plot I have in mind is very different from the tma plot, but I'm not sure of everything yet, so for now you get this little bpnus :)

[CLICK]

[Cellbit]

We've been back from the Adoption Center for about a day now. Not a timely update, but things happened, and, well.

We found... we found a weird... creature. It- he? Acts human, although he can't talk. He communicates with us through a little notebook, and overall acts incredibly childish. He sure looks like a child. One with- with some material akin to... to egg shells as skin. He has hair, despite apparently being all... eggy. It's black and curly, covers his face. He doesn't like it when we try to move it away from there, but we're working on a safe way to see what's under there.

He seems not to know where he came from, but I know he's lying. It's- there's no way he doesn't, not with what he said, I don't care if Pac and Mike or, hell, Felps believes him, He called us fucking- he called us dads! That's the first fucking thing he said! It has to be some kind of trap, some kind of spy, I don't know yet but when I find out I'm going to fucking-

Shit. That wasn't too professional. Alright, where were we.

We brought him to the Institute. Forever and I weren't thrilled about the idea, but it was 3 against 2. I can't believe Felps would- I get Pac and Mike, there's something wrong with them I'm sure of it, but Felps? I underestimated his braincells. What am I talking about, he doesn't have any.

(Soft chuckle)

We, we named him Richarlyson, he seemed to like it. We asked his name first, but all he did was draw a- (Snort) a stick figure shrugging.

The only clothes he has are a singular oversized Brazil shirt. The moços and Felps want to go buy him clothes.

I don't know how they'll justify the kid having, I don't know, pure white hard skin, but they said not to worry about it, so I guess I won't! I won't. I fucking won't.

... I'm gonna follow them tomorrow. Just to be safe.

That's all for today, I'm gonna go- I'm going to check some statements, see if there's anything even remotely related to this.

This is Cellbit, Head Archivist of the QSMP, which I still don't known what stands for by the way, signing off.

[CLICK]

#cellbit #forever player #forever #richarlyson #felps #tazercraft #pactw #mikethelink #brazil world domination #qsmp #hmmm I need a tag for this au #the quesadilla archives #<- idk if that's gonna be permanent but that's it for now #favela five

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tanadrin · 6 months

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@sadoeconomist

Something politically aware people on every part of the political spectrum from the left to the right think is true and leaders of the Russian, Chinese, Israeli, etc. governments believe in enough to talk about publicly and make major geopolitical decisions based on maybe is not just a crazy fringe conspiracy theory, could be that there's some truth to the CIA, NED, etc. having more involvement in these events than the video author thinks I watched all this stuff happen in real time, and I read your notes, which went over how Russian hybrid warfare succeeded in Crimea in 2014. Every major power takes hybrid warfare seriously, what's objectively stupid is your mischaracterization of how it works. Trying to astroturf a revolution out of nowhere simply by paying random citizens en masse to overthrow the government would indeed be stupid but that's not what it is. Your notes seem to suggest that the video says US was paying little attention to eastern Europe until 2013 but Russia was frequently reacting to imaginary US provocations because they are stupid. It's like there's a giant America-shaped hole in the video's narrative. Ukraine was understood to be a NATO-Russia geopolitical battleground long before Euromaidan, it wasn't just Putin shadowboxing imaginary opponents out of pure stupidity that led to this.

You seem to be operating on the basic assumption that governments don't do stupid things for no reason, or fall prey to obviously inane conspiracy theories. That's simply not true; governments are led by human beings, human beings are subject to a common set of cognitive biases, and when you're an authoritarian right-winger (as the leaders of Russia, China, and Israel all are right now), an explanation for your apparent unpopularity that pins all the blame on the CIA instead of your shitty policies and your attempts to cling to power flatters those biases.

But we don't need to speculate about the propensity of governments to do stupid shit, because we have plenty of historical and contemporary examples of governments believing in nonsense: Havana Syndrome in the US, AIDS denialism in South Africa, anti-Semitic conspiracy theories in Nazi Germany and Imperial Russia, etc., etc. And often these false beliefs lead to real strategic blunders: the Bay of Pigs, the Iraq War, World War II, etc. Sometimes world leaders are stupid! Like, leadership probably tends to select for some kinds of intelligence and ability--charisma, social intelligence, and so forth--but it doesn't automatically make you a geopolitical genius, or make you immune to believing false things about the world.

And the biggest problem with the conspiracy theory outlined here isn't just that we can trace its origin to a fringe American political cult, it's that it's not necessary to explain any development in politics since 1989. There is no problem in understanding the revolutions of '89 or 2000-2014 that CIA involvement is necessary to solve. Indeed, as the videos point out (if you would actually watch them), trying to use "the CIA did it" as an explanation adds considerable problems, bc color revolution theory doesn't work. It's based on misconceptions, misunderstanding of data, and a healthy dose of paranoia.

The only real problem is trying to explain Putin's behavior--and that doesn't require color revolution theory to be true, only that Putin believes it is true. And why he would believe something is true, when he has the supposedly vast power of the Russian state at his beck and call, is easy to explain: authoritarian dictators surrounded by yes men do not have accurate pictures of the world! From Idi Amin to Saddam Hussein to Vladimir Putin, there is a common pattern of authoritarian dictators losing touch with reality, getting really weird, and coming to believe all kinds of counterproductive stuff that flatters their egos. It would be an even bigger problem to try to explain why Putin was immune to that dynamic after 24 years in power.

"World leaders don't shadowbox opponents out of pure stupidity" is an assumption that seems wholly ungrounded to me. Why not? World leaders do foolish things all the time on large and small scales. World leaders make mistakes. World leaders can become paranoid and out of touch--and if they lead countries without functioning electoral democracies, they can stay in power regardless. World leaders are not a magic special class of human being. They're just people. And whether it's because they're your uncle who watches nothing but OANN and Fox, or they're the President of Russia and they have yes-men and the Global Research guys telling them only what they want to hear, they can end up making absolute nonsense a load-bearing part of their worldview.

#like putin has benefited from this myth of being hyper competent and calculating for years in the west #and i just don't think that was ever true #he's not some super capable genius supervillain #he's just a run of the mill authoritarian #who was willing to placate russian elites to get what he wanted #and once in power gradually solidified his power base #in a very run of the mill fashion

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charles-leclerc-official · 1 month

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hi!! New fan here, i was wondering, how do you know which stats and data to look for in terms of fairly comparing the performances of drivers? and just in general tips on race analysis :') like figuring out if they did the right strategy, the data you need to look for, anything else you find significant? thank you so much! i'd like to be more objective tbh bc the emotions are vv strong during a race and they tend to overpower my rational side.

Well there is a lot that can go into this. Some of it is very much a learned skill that you get better at over time.

General good rules of thumb for comparison and analysis:

1.The same car/teammates: comparing teammates is usually very helpful in understanding a car and also where the two drivers differ. Since they are in the same machinery we can see what some general characteristics are of a specific car. And then we can also see where there are differences that can be attributed to a driver specifically. Comparing teammates is always useful, and helpful in understanding a team overall because you know that team is constantly comparing their driver's performances.

2. Max(or whoever is the current #1): having Max as a benchmark of the current top driver is always helpful because he's obviously the one to beat. Also since he is so good he delivers amazing data on tracks. So if I want to see where the SF-24 or Charles need to improve comparing to Max is a good way to do it. It would not be as helpful to compare Charles to say Fernando, who while a great driver, the car he's in and his standing right now just isn't going to offer many valuable insights.

3. Race strategy: this is a very complicated topic, it is way more like chess than people realize. Seeing who starts where, the places they can likely gain from there, the timing that needs to happen to gain those places etc. Those are all factors. You really get a sense of it after you watch for a while. This is an extremely complex area that is a constantly evolving logic problem (which is why teams are so focused during races) This is the area where I have the fewest tips because it is really one of those things that just comes from experience and observation. One thing to do would be read interviews about what your team is saying about their strategy and the thinking that went into it. Spatial reasoning and logic are a big part of race strategy, and then once the lights go out those things get affected by time and random events (ex a driver DNFing) So race strategy is a combination of spatial logic and being able to do it dynamically as time progresses over a race. So thinking of it like chess that changes every lap is a good way to think about it.

4. Race specific battles: pay attention during races who is really battling (ex Lewis and Oscar in Jeddah, or Lando and Carlos in Suzuka or Lando and Charles in Melbourne) then you can look at the data for some insights into why the battle played out the way it did. Another example would be if you wanted to understand why Mclaren made Oscar and Lando switch in Australia, you can go look at the data and the answer it pretty clear. So these kinds of comparisons can give a lot of insight into why a team made certain strategy calls.

5. DRS: DRS is always something I look at when talking about speed, because while it's great for speed it's more of a luck right place at the right time thing, and so if I want to be fair in pace or speed comparisons I try to find laps where either both drivers got DRS or neither did (sometimes this isn't possible but it's a good factor to keep in mind)

6. Same tyres: comparing pace and speed on tyres it's important to keep the compound in mind. Comparing a fast lap one driver did on a medium tyre to one another driver did on hards isn't really in good faith. Now sometimes doing cross compound comparison can be useful, (ex a driver setting the same times on hards as another driver on mediums is interesting and worth digging into) But if you are wanting to do a direct comparison and want to eliminate this as a variable always compare on the same compound (sometimes this isn't possible so keep that in mind) Comparing across compounds is helpful too, but you should be very clear about why and the logic behind it.

7. Field placement: Comparing a midfield car to a top car isn't super helpful. Max isn't Logan's competition, other midfield drivers are Logan's competition. So it's important to look at who is actually competing with who. You could do a Logan to Max comparison but it likely wouldn't offer much insight into either drivers' strengths or weaknesses. Comparing Logan to Alex(his teammate) or Zhou(someone else in the midfield) is going to be way more useful.

8. Weather/Temperature: this can be a massive compounding factor for performance and should always be considered. Was it raining? Was it windy? Was there notable heat? How was that affecting drivers? etc

9. Mechanical issues: always note them and take them into account, this sounds like a no-brainer but not everyone does this and it leads to a lot of bad faith representations of a driver or a race.

10. Team Radio: if you want to understand what a driver and a team were thinking during the race and want answers for why things played out the way they did (good or bad) then team radio usually has a lot of answers. A good example of this would be listening to Charles' radios in Suzuka, you can listen to him talking about which strategy to go with and then the team figuring that out with him. Radios are very informative. I always listen to Charles', so if you have a driver/team you are focused on I highly recommend doing that.

11. Sometimes there is no way to do a fair comparison: this is something that is important to keep in mind(and again a lot of people forget this). For example in Bahrain when Charles had that massive brake temperature imbalance issue, no one else had it. So we cannot really compare his pace or performance to anyone and account for that. We can still compare his say fastest lap to Carlos' to see what he was able to do in less than optimal circumstances. But this is another very important thing to remember. Sometimes conditions do not allow for a totally fair comparison, and that is always worth noting. This is a very important fallacy to be aware of, and it's a trap a lot of people fall into, making it appear as though there is a fair comparison in a situation when there is not. So always keep this in mind. Sometimes the fact no fair comparison can be made is informative in itself.

A lot of analysis is also what I feel like just falls under plain old common sense and logical reasoning. Races are big logical puzzles, so just like with any logic based game it takes practice to get the hang of it. This just comes with watching races and paying attention to the details.

Also analysis doesn't get rid of the emotional reactions(at least not for me) I watch live and have all kinds of emotions. I just do that in private and wait to look at the data. And that is totally normal for the record. This is why I recommend re-watching a race for analysis for 2 reasons. 1. You will probably catch a lot of things you didn't notice the first time, and 2. You won't be as emotional and will probably be able to view what happened more objectively.

Hopefully this answers your question <3

#luci answers #race analysis tips #analysis resources #race strategy is both more complicated than people think but it's also not rocket science #it's just a big logic puzzle that evolves every second so you have to keep finding new solutions

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ganondoodle · 5 days

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I just wanna say firstly that i adore your artwork and takes6on Zelda in general! Secondly, much as I wish you never had to deal with the frustrations of creating (especially when you tack on the stress of being on any kind of social platform), I'm glad you talk about your struggle. I've heard people talk about art block every day since I learned what Art was, but nobody ever mentioned "painting oneself into a corner". It's such an apt description that is so infuriatingly relatable that I had to stop eating to thank you for putting it into words. I really appreciate that you're willing to talk about your setbacks in a place like Tumblr, and still share your arts and thoughts. All the best from US of hellscape A, i hope you're doing well.

Thank you!

i used to call it artblock as well, its the most normalized term i guess; i randomly started calling it painting myself into a corner when i got stuck or frustrated on a painting bc welll, it sure feels like it, you painted the walls all around you and dont know how to get out now

it usually happens when i stop having fun and just draw what i want and instead keep subconsciously forcing myself into arbitrary rules; in my case its usually trying to be too perfect, i try to adhere to the sketch, i try to make every block of color have a perfectly clean edge, separate the drawing into way too many layers and am afraid to delete or erase anything, i tense up my whole body as frustration builds bc of impatience as this method of painting does not work for me at all and in the end lose motivation on it all and my nerves are stretched thin (i work best when i think as little as possible, just kinda loosely letting my hand do what it wants on few layers and no specific plan, after losing that its hard to get it back)

having those low moments with your art is normal as your skill grows, but even knowing so, and having gone through it countless times, it never stops making you feel like shit, and its especially frustrating when it happens when you just got enough time to work on stuff or have alot of ideas but you cant get it to work

(and funnily enough it also tends to happen after another work of mine got more attention than i thought .. even worse when it was just a sketch bc now i got the pressure on me to actually finish it and the fear of it doing worse once done looms over the whole thing- which doesnt mean i dont want people to interact with my wips, bc that also has an extremely demotivating factor to it bc it makes me think no one cares or it sucks and doesnt deserve the time i would need to spend on finishing it; also .. alot of my wips stay wips forever, which is fine, but like .. you cant always expect a finished tm version to happen)

i do find it a little funny you praise me for talking openly about it bc i am notoriously unable to shut up ever and only recently got better at NOT talking as much about it when i feel as shitty as this bc it doesnt really help anyone and gets annoying really fast xD (im also notoriously unable to not post absolutely everything bc i got no one to show it to and otherwise it will just collect dust on my harddrive so i might as well throw it out there no matter how much i might hate it, someone else might still enjoy it anyway)

and greetings back from the -not really much less of a hellscape- that is germany o/

#ganondoodles answers #currently sinking deeper into that corner lol #been trying to draw the ancient rito guy and based it on those cool looking fruit doves #but forgot its kinda dumb from a color perspective bc its largely green ....... like the damn stone ..........#also been doing the ... all the things i mentioned above that make me feel this frustrated depressed kinda thing #i just WANT TO DRAW LET ME DRAW THERES SO MCUH TO DRAW ARGH

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crushedsweets · 10 months

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do you have any ej headcanons? his character tends to vary alot, sometimes he used to be human and other times hes just a monster in the woods

ive always liked the idea of him being like a big brother to some of the pastas mainly like sally, ben, and jeff

AAAAGREED . As per usual ramble under the cut about jacks relationship with everyone + I’ll post colored version of this in a sec

ok. ive already talked a good bit about jack being a normal med student before the sacrifice, spending a year in some rando possessed demon state, regaining clarity, finding refuge in slenders forest, etc etc. he sort of resembles like, a vampire mixed w ghoul from tokyo ghoul

and as per usual fandom antics, he's one of the typical medical resources for a lot of people in that circle . he absolutely was the eldest son of his family, maybe like 3 younger siblings, so going to university and getting away from a big family was really nice for him. until he lost everything and can never face them again</3

SOOOOO him being the resident 'doctor' and already having a brotherly instinct .. its real and true. especially with sally, but she doesn't come around much since sally stays w jane and jane doesnt need jack. sally def reminds him of one of his little sisters. its super super bittersweet for him. jane doesnt realize jeff gets help from jack so thats the only reason she even lets sally come around

in terms w his friendship w jeff and ben.. those two are close, and jeff def has to go to jack for medical attention. ben doesnt need it but he'll come w jeff just bc he can. for a while jack REFUSED to talk to jeff while treating his wounds bc he knows what jeff does. ((jeff isnt even protected under slenderman he just lies and jack has no idea LMFAO))BUT EVENTUALLY jeff starts bringing jack uhh. :| remains. as an extra thank you, which means jack doesnt have to do the killing. it felt like a huge burden lifted off his shoulders. so that kinda helped shift their friendship. ben also doesnt really kill he just haunts so jack didnt have severe issues w him anyway(plus ben actually IS protected under slender sooo)

ben and jeff are just kinda assholes but in the boyish brotherly way(for the most part). neither of them have past 8-9th grade education and will literally look at jack like hes stupid for making a catcher in the rye reference.

jacks just kind of a pathetic little asshat who misses being in school. sometimes he'll try to convince ben and jeff to actually pick up a book for once in their life, and they probably did it once. PROB WOULD ENJOY CATCHER IN THE RYE NOW THAT I THINK ABOUT IT. LMFAOO

he's not all too brotherly with like, masky and hoody since those two are older than him and are creeped out by him. but theyve gotten their fair share of medical attention from him, and he even taught hoody some more extensive first aid so now hoody kinda deals with the basic stuff toby totally still goes out of his way to see jack regardless of whether hoody could treat it or not. toby had nobody willing to talk to him growing up, so the fact that now he sort of has a circle of freaks thatll talk to him, laugh(marginally) at his jokes, and can take some crude remarks.... BROS TAKING ADVANTAGE.

clocky also isnt protected under slenderman, but if she comes to jack with a gash in her head or a stab wound in her leg, jacks gonna help regardless. clocky is also kind of a smartass so she'll actually read some of the books jack has and talk to him about it which is pleasant for them both, but they really have like... nothing else in common.

liu doesnt need 2 go to jack and wouldnt bc he has no reason to

im still lost on how i want ninas case to go, whether she actually kills or just committed an act of self mutilation that caught jane and lius attention, so idk if she would need jack . .

#ok yea the only ppl i focus on in my au are like #toby masky hoody ej sally ben jeff jane liu clockwork and nina..#basically the main 10 or so LOL #theres def others roaming around but i either dont know their story or dont have a 2015 nostalgic attachment to them #anyway thank u for this askkkkkk !!#ik i always kinda deviate from the ask as i ramble but i appreciate it LOL #hcs #eyeless jack #jack nyras #creeped

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arieshasbrainrot57 · 4 months

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saw these floating around, inspired by this post (https://www.tumblr.com/kammieceleek/684194629204279296/send-me-a-ship-and-ill-tell-you) and I wanted to do it with Jally bc I have neglected posting about them for way too long and i always have headcanons floating around my brain

who is more likely to hurt the other?

probably Dally. he has a habit of talking before he thinks, especially when he's mad, and he can be cutting when he's in a bad mood.

who is emotionally stronger?

Johnny. He can take a lot before he finally breaks down.

who is physically stronger?

it's an even tie, with Dallas only winning by a little.

who is more likely to break a bone?

Dallas. he already has a handful of times, both before and after he met Johnny, including breaking two fingers (at seperate times), his nose, a handful of ribs and his foot once.

who knows best what to say to upset the other?

Johnny. He's quiet at times, but he's observant, not to mention he's the kind of person most of his friends feel comfortable enough around to tell him about their problems or insecurities. He pays attention to things that other people usually assume he wouldn't notice, which gives him plenty of room to say just the right thing to sting.

who is most likely to apologise first after an argument?

Johnny. Mostly out of anxiety coming from his parents' arguments. He doesn't like the idea of someone, especially someone he loves, being angry with him and he hates the stiff silence after an argument. He usually apologises as quickly as he can to shut things down before they can turn out like his parents.

who treats who’s wounds more often?

It's an even mix. Both of them are usually sporting injuries on any given day, either from fights with their parents or fights with other people around town, so they both end up having to play nurse for the other.

who is in constant need of comfort?

Johnny. He has a lot of relationship anxiety after watching his parents implode on each other for years, so he has a hard time feeling secure in his interactions with Dallas.

who gets more jealous?

Dallas. He tends to keep it to himself, to avoid coming off as too aggressive. He doesn't want to scare Johnny off or anything like that, but more often then not his jealousy bleeds through his denial anyway.

who’s most likely to walk out on the other? probably Dallas. He’s been just bouncing around, doing whatever he wants for so long now that he’s not used to sticking things out.

who will propose?

They feel like the type of couple to both be meaning to propose for ages but be too scared to bite the bullet just yet and then end up accidentally popping the question at the same time.

who has the most difficult parents?

Johnny, since we don’t know much about either of Dallas’ parents.

who initiates hand-holding when they’re out in public?

lol it’s the 60s so neither of them, but if we pretend for a second that’s it’s not then Dallas. Johnny would be too worried about pushing and making him uncomfortable when he’s not ready to make the first move in that regard.

who comes up for the other all the time? I don’t really know what come up for means so idk lol

who hogs the blankets?

Dallas. He tosses and turns like crazy in his sleep, so he usually ends up dragging the blanket with him.

who gets more sad?

Johnny, since Dallas represses it as much as he can, whenever he can.

who is better at cheering the other up?

Johnny. He’s one of those people who’s just very reassuring to be around when you’re having a hard time.

who’s the one that playfully slaps the other all the time after they make silly jokes?

Dallas. Johnny could say the stupidest, corniest pun or joke and Dally would still snort and slap his shoulder.

who is more streetwise?

Dallas, but Johnny’s not far behind him. He’s only got him beat bc of all the time he spent in New York.

who is more wise?

Johnny. He’s a lot more emotionally mature, among other things.

who’s the shyest?

Johnny. He can shut down or not talk much when around new people or just a lot of people, most likely due to his issues with his parents. He doesn’t want to say the wrong thing and set anybody off.

who boasts about the other more?

Surprisingly Dallas. Tim’s probably considered strangling him just so he’d stop rambling about Johnny’s eyes or how nice he is despite everything that’s happened any time he gets alcohol in his system. He can’t help it, he’s still in shock that someone like Johnny would be interested in him that way.

who sits on who’s lap? Dallas, since they’d probably only do smth like that in a private setting, considering the time period lol

#the outsiders #jally #johnny cade #dallas winston #dallas x johnny #headcanons

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transmutationisms · 8 months

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hi caden you’ve talked before about enjoying using stimulant drugs i am interested from the pov of someone who isn’t going to be like “they cured my symptoms <3” what they did for you. i’m considering getting an adhd diagnosis bc i think i could benefit from the meds even though i don’t think the classification itself is useful

finally, a medical advice question i can answer. i will cut to the chase here: i basically just like being mildly high on amphetamines. if you ever like, drank a shitload of caffeine all at once, that's kind of a shittier and weaker version of how it feels when an rx stimulant kicks in. they make you feel more energetic and awake (good for me because i am eepy), they can produce a mild sense of euphoria, they generally just sort of heighten your arousal / attention / alertness. for me, i pretty reliably experience this as being more confident / lively / interested in things (tho it's not uncommon for many people that this can also feel like heightened anxiety, so ymmv). i can use this boost to like, get work done, or just for recreational purposes lol. often both! i actually used to have short-release stims as my rx, and a lot of times i would snort them, again sometimes purely recreationally and sometimes more prupose-driven. if you're going to do that there are some additional health risks lol so i wouldn't necessarily recommend it casually, but ya know. (i have kinda soured on the short-release ones anyway because i tend to forget to keep re-upping them and then i get terrible crashes coming on and off them. the long-release are a little kinder in that respect, you just won't really be able to mess with the dose to the same degree.)

there's a lot of mystification around rx stimulants from psychiatric and pharmaceutical authorities who are trying really hard to differentiate their products from more stigmatised, illegal uppers. this really appealed to me when i first got dxed with adhd lol, but is basically horseshit, pharmacologically speaking; uppers are uppers and some people like them. for example, i also enjoy coke, but it's expensive, doesn't last that long, and comes with the risks of any black-market drug, where i'm not able to know for sure how much it's cut & with what, &c. so, i don't really think of rx uppers as being different categorically to black-market ones, but all drugs have different considerations and you might like one over another for any number of reasons.

anyway yeah: i like adhd drugs, and although i can and do use them to accomplish certain things (like, it is true they make it easier to sustain focus, eg on work or boring chores or whatever), i do also just like the feeling of using them. i don't feel like i need to justify either of those reasons for using stims lol, and also, separating the two is basically impossible in practice and imo is really just a fantasy of drug moralisers who don't want to admit that a it's, like, ok to enjoy substances. obviously, if you want to look into uppers, i would also strongly recommend keeping an eye on potential side effects and long-term risks, of which there definitely are some (particularly some cardiac things to keep in mind, and risks go up if you're using higher amounts, and/or mixing with other substances esp downers).

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i-bring-crack · 26 days

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Hear me out:

All solo leveling characters as singers and songwriters

What genre would everyone be? Would there be bands and groups? Would they play an instrument or just sing?

Oh this is fun! @manawari and @stormdragon23 already have so much content about the boyband SL arise!

As for my takes, they are a bit shifted here and there but I'll do my best to make it fun!

Jinwoo: Freelance Singer

A freelance singer (who plays bass) that had a lot of trouble getting into the spotlight depsite working his ass off everyday to the point where he would have a sore throat and his fingers would go numb, one day caught the attention of Ashborn and his manager Kandiru. He made the guy go extremly viral and, a few days after meeting him again as a waiter (a side job that Jinwoo had bc singing wouldnt pay the bills) he asked if he wanted some help to get himself into the spotlight and presented him to a lesser known, but insanely rich, songwriter: Yoo Jinho. Kandiru didnt understand why Ashborn liked the boy, but after hearing some original music that Jinwoo and Jinho made, it all began to make sense. I think his genre would be a range of Indie rock, Pop rock, R&B soul and Hip Hop Rap. I think his low voice would be good for those kinds of genres, kinda like a mix of Ado or NF.

Haein: Anonymous K pop Artist

Her voice could fill quite a lot roles within the music industry so she never had a genre that defined her. With her connections during her time as sports icon, she managed to make a name for herself as "that annonymous Kpop artist". Her dances always tended to go viral despite no one knowing how she looks like (she puts on a mask bc she likes her privacy and even if she was a sport star no one areally makes the link connections since she had ended that career a long time ago to pursue her own music dreams) and some of her songs have been on the best anime seasons so far. Her hidding her face (and also her body by wearing extravagant metal cosplays) was also something unusual in the Kpop industry famous for showing one's appearacne to earn more fans. And though many placed rumors that she was ugly, it didnt stop people from liking her songs at all.

Juhee: Country Girl

She is not that well known but her songs do go popular with a lot of elderly people nowadays, especially since her folklore and country music brings a sense of familiarity and warmth that not many songs in the manistream tend to have nowadays. She writes her own scripts and was the one to teach Jinwoo about music and bass when she was starting out. They still keep in contact afterwards even as Jinwoo keeps getting more and more busy with all the tours he has to make. Cottage core lesbians always place her songs on their playlists.

Jongin and Yoonho: Musical Rivals

Two men who grew up in very different livelyhoods but had a fascination with broadway musicals all the way until university. Yoonho likes the more traditional approach and is usually more known through his theater and opera acts while Jongin's fame grew by doing musical covers on Youtube and voicing characters on shows that often included singing (think of it like Hazbin hotel, disney movies, pich perfect, glee). They both respect each other but absolutely trie to throw as much shade and salt towards each other on twitter as possible.

The fans dont know degration and isnults is what each other are into, which is how more often than not they end up in fandom wars as well.

Somewhere out there, a producer is thinking whenevr or not her should make a live action movie and have them both kiss at the end.

Thomas Andre: Country Rock

This man own whatever his weird but amazing genre it is. Man does not know the limits of what decency is. Hes gotten canceled so many times, is a troll with his songs, once made a song with a bunny suit on knowing no one could talk shit about it or else they would get folded like a tortilla. His career as a singer over rides the criminal and boxer careers he had when he was young. He makes like, two songs per year, goes into hideout, and then comes back with two banger songs before going back into hideout again. The drums are his thing, which Laura tends to buy a lot of since he keeps breaking them a lot of the times due to his excitement.

He also wrote some gospel music for his mom.

No one knows this but he has fallen in love with opera.

Esil Radiru: Universal Idol

No one knows how this girl came to be but her rock and electronic music always light up bars and discos around the world, she has a way with her music and has managed to become so popular in such a short ammount of time that many have thought she might have made a deal with the devil himself. The reality is that she just has really good marketing and her parents are rich.

Liu Zhigang: China's Most Famous Actor and Singer

From a young age he's wanted to become a singer and put all of his effort into being one. He cares a lot about his looks, especially his hair, most of the fanbase adores him for being so unique in that sense as well. His extroverted attitude, his unapologetic way of talking and singing in as many donhuas as possible is what draws so many fangirls to him.

#solo leveling #sung jin woo #cha hae in #liu zhigang #thomas andre #esil radiru #choi jong in #lee ju hee #baek yoon ho #yoo jin ho

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underteika · 3 days

Text

CHARACTER SHEET REPOST, DON'T REBLOG!

basics !

FULL NAME. Anda Teika TITLE. Responsible-ish Stoner, Child of Sorrow NICKNAME. n/a GENDER. Nonbinary PRONOUNS. They/Them HEIGHT. 6'3, but slouches, so it's more like 5'9-6'0 AGE. 24 (30 in Isola) ZODIAC. Technically an aries bc their birthday is a bad luck reference (4/4), but doesn't act like it at all SPOKEN LANGUAGES. English, broken Japanese

physical characteristics !

HAIR COLOR. Naturally dark brown, but now it's 50/50 white due to stress. Dyes it all violet EYE COLOR. Brown (gold if using their powers) SKIN TONE. Tan BODY TYPE. Top-heavy and broad shouldered, muscular upper body but skips leg day all the time. Not the body-builder kind of muscle, but muscle from years of lifting dead weight (pun intended) VOICE. Soft spoken, like speaking too loud would get them in trouble. Breaks a lot. DOMINANT HAND. Left POSTURE. Needs a desperate visit from the posture posse SCARS. Many. Pre-isola scars are a long one on their scalp that their hair covers and a few other faded ones from the crash. Isola scars are... all over them, unfortunately, and mostly consist of claw marks. TATTOOS. None, but wants one. But too indecisive BIRTHMARKS. None MOST NOTICEABLE FEATURE(S). Kindness and sadness in equal measure in those big ol' eyes. Wears a prosthetic from the calf down on the right leg that's covered in stickers. Always wearing SOME kind of band shirt

childhood !

PLACE OF BIRTH. Washington, USA HOMETOWN. Washington, USA. Moved to a hidden forest in Japan after the accident to seal away the family curse SIBLINGS. none PARENTS. Deceased. Was taken in by their grandmother after the accident, now deceased. No living relatives left. Thanks, fate!

adult life !

OCCUPATION. Cemetery caretaker (various wards, goes wherever their boss needs them. Takes jobs from other cemeteries too due to a good work ethic), body removals, restores/repairs monuments and headstones. Used to work for a detective agency. CURRENT RESIDENCE. The Misfit House in Archimedes. Recently, the new owner CLOSE FRIENDS. Zal Liakos (Unofficial life partner?). Has a few people they get along well with, like Eiden and Ismael. They've been in the city for so long that a lot of their other close friends are gone. They need some... RELATIONSHIP STATUS. Single (and intends to keep it that way), but hooks up sometimes for casual relationships. FINANCIAL STATUS. Actually? They're pretty well off, but live modestly. They could probably spend the next five years without working a day and be just fine, between their savings and Zal's big money /j DRIVER’S LICENSE. It's all up to date! They love their van. CRIMINAL RECORD. It would be harboring a criminal, breaking and entering, mass-manipulation of crowd psyche, and some old petty theft, but 'conveniently', people forget those :) VICES. Weed, cigarettes, junk food, and varying weed-fueled junk food crimes

sex & romance !

SEXUAL ORIENTATION. Bisexual (and freezes up if they're talking to someone attractive for the first time) LOVE LANGUAGE. Favors, quality time, cooking for you RELATIONSHIP TENDENCIES. Anda will love with everything they have. They're very attentive and understanding due to their empathetic powers, and they'll do just about anything for the people they love, even if it takes them out of their comfort zone. They're happy to mutually coexist. For romantic partners, they're the strong affectionate type, and they like to cuddle.

miscellaneous !

CHARACTER’S THEME SONG. How Soon is Now -- The Smiths HOBBIES TO PASS TIME. Weed Video games, going to concerts, fixing furniture, gardening PHOBIAS. Trains. Really, really hates guns SELF CONFIDENCE LEVEL. Abysmal lmao. Everything they do, no matter how good it is, 'could always be better' VULNERABILITIES. They tend to run away from the things that scare them, unless someone will be harmed by running. They also suffer from the kind of hopelessness of being doomed by the narrative, but try to live a 'normal' life anyway. Rather than confront what scares them, they'll use their abilities to make people forget it ever happened, prolonging the inevitable. That used to be way better until their canon point updated, so now they're kind of in a toxic 'What's the point' whirlpool. On the more light-hearted side? They can't cook eggs, no matter how hard they try to.

#munday #weed ment #god... I've had Anda in this community for like 6 years #you need some friends buddy

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yardsards · 4 months

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What made you realize you’re aro? An idea has been planted in my head of me being aro

i feel like for me, my thing was less about *realizing* i was aro and more about *accepting* that i was aro. (also talk abt my asexuality in here bc those two parts of my identity feel very intertwined. and some gender stuff as well)

as a little kid, i didn't have any crushes. i assumed all my classmates that said they had crushes were just lying or doing some kind of social performance that i (as an undiagnosed autistic who frequently felt left out by my peers' social rules) figured i just didn't get. i figured real crushes wouldn't happen til we were teenagers or something.

when i was like 13, i was clicking around on wikipedia, and found an article about asexuality. immediately i identified myself in it (and realized that oh, it wasn't the default). my confusion about why the girls my age always talked about finding guys hot finally made sense to me. it just clicked into place.

i read up more about asexuality. i looked at the asexual tag on tumblr. i learned about aromanticism and the split attraction model.

but i wasn't ready to accept being aromantic yet. i labelled myself a heteroromantic asexual for several months, maybe even a year. the idea of never having sex wasn't scary to me. but the idea of never falling in love was *terrifying*. so i told myself i just hadn't met the right boy yet and would grow into it. (you'd think a 13 year old would figure out their romantic orientation before their sexual orientation, cuz it's normal for sexual attraction to not be fully developed yet. but i was not coming from the most logical place here)

over time, seeing aromantics online, and unlearning heteronormativity and amatonormativity, the idea of being aromantic started to feel less scary. so i *began* to accept the fact that i could be aro and that would be okay, and started calling myself aromantic.

but a part of me still didn't *want* to be aromantic.

i tried looking for alternative explanations. i questioned if i was a lesbian: i now knew i didn't want to be any boy's girlfriend, but being a girl's girlfriend was never shoved down my throat (and didn't have heteronormative gender roles baked into it) the way dating boys was and so didn't make me so viscerally uncomfortable. and something about butch lesbians really resonated with me (hello repressed gender crisis). i found girls pretty to look at, and fun to draw.

and i had this female friend that i tended to cling to (i have always had a habit of clinging stronglyvto one best friend at a time in my younger years, as a weird autism-anxiety thing). i liked being by her side, and i wanted to hold her hand. i wanted us to be in each other's lives forever. i found myself jealous when she paid more attention to her various boyfriends and girlfriends than me. (later on i realized that she actually wasn't a very good friend and treated all of her friends like free therapy or pit stops between romantic partners. very high school.)

then i realized i was trans, and came out to some close friends.

and then two separate male-aligned friends both admitted romantic feelings towards me in a very close timespan. it made me feel warm when they told me they wanted to be with me. but i told them i didn't think i reciprocated the feelings. both of them told me they'd be okay with something queerplatonic instead of romantic. but i told them i wasn't sure about that either bc commitment like that was scary to me. and i wasn't sure that if i did want a qpr if i would want it with either of them specifically.

i started to think, maybe i was biromantic. the idea of being a boy's boyfriend didn't make my skin crawl the same way the idea of being a boy's girlfriend did. i wondered if maybe the reason i didn't say yes to being in a romantic relationship was just the same reasons i also didn't say yes to being in a queerplatonic relationship (commitment issues/not being sure if either of those particular people were right for me)

but i slowly realized that all of my feelings that i was hoping to fit into a romantic box just. weren't romantic and couldn't be forced to be romantic. it was all either just strong platonic love (i remember noting that it was roughly the same type of love i'd felt towards favorite cousins, who the idea of being romantic with obviously disgusted me). or in other cases were just me being lonely and wanting to be loved and paid attention to, and wanting any love i could get even if it were romantic. and being so afraid of being abandoned in favour of everyone getting romantic partners (because our amatonormative society says that friends should always come second to romantic partners, plus that first girl friend regularly ditching me for her partners increasing that fear) so i was hoping to be in a romantic relationship with the people i loved platonically so that i wouldn't have to worry about them leaving me behind.

idk if i explained it well, and idk if any of this is helpful to you. but yeah.

#eliot posts

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detectivechandler · 3 months

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✩ — 𝐁𝐀𝐒𝐈𝐂𝐒.

▸ IS YOUR MUSE TALL / SHORT / AVERAGE? at 6'2 he is considered 'tall' by most people's standards. ▸ ARE THEY OKAY WITH THEIR HEIGHT ? He is, yes. I think he would be a bit aware of the fact that it does (rather unfortunately, in his line of thinking) tend to sometimes draw attention his general way. I think in those instances where he'd rather float through something 'under the radar' so to speak, that particular consequence does bug him. but he is also aware that it is not just his height that calls attention from others and he's accepted that. ▸ WHAT’S THEIR HAIR LIKE? blonde. leans more toward thick rather than thin, medium in length and (if left alone and unstyled) can be a bit unruly. at work and other public places, he styles it perfectly. there's no other word to describe it. that professional side part is his pride and joy, leave him alone. ▸ DO THEY SPEND A LOT OF TIME ON THEIR HAIR / GROOMING? yes. seeing joe slightly disheveled and not 100% together is kind of like catching sight of a woman's ankles back in the day. scandalous ! he spends about 30-45 minutes on his hair every morning and checks up on it throughout the day. like i said .. pride and joy. back off. ▸ DOES YOUR MUSE CARE ABOUT THEIR APPEARANCE / WHAT OTHERS THINK ? yes...and no. he definitely cares about his appearance. i think the way he presents himself (especially his clothing choices) acts as a sort of armor, even if he won't admit it. that sense of nothing can be out of place, i need to control everything before it all falls apart bleeds into how he carries himself and how he appears. He cares what others think in the sense that he wants to be well-groomed and he wants to appear capable (and professional in work settings) and powerful (i hesitate to use that word bc i feel like people are gonna take it differently than what i mean but my brain isnt working right now) and he does, on occasion, get self-conscious about certain people's opinions .. but at the end of the day, the way he dresses etc gives him confidence and he's not going to sacrifice that for the sake of opinions.

✩ — 𝐏𝐑𝐄𝐅𝐄𝐑𝐄𝐍𝐂𝐄𝐒.

▸ INDOORS OR OUTDOORS? indoors. ▸ RAIN OR SUNSHINE? overcast, but no rain.. ▸ FOREST OR BEACH? beach ▸ PRECIOUS METALS OR GEMS? gems. ▸ FLOWERS OR PERFUMES? perfumes ▸ PERSONALITY OR APPEARANCE? both. but appearance gets judged first. not from an 'are you attractive' standpoint, but more 'do you look like trash'. ▸ BEING ALONE OR BEING IN A CROWD? he would rather be alone. ▸ ORDER OR ANARCHY? absolute order. without a doubt. ▸ PAINFUL TRUTHS OR WHITE LIES? painful truths. ▸ SCIENCE OR MAGIC? science. he doesnt believe in magic. ▸ PEACE OR CONFLICT? peace. though he is aware conflict is what leads to growth and change. ▸ NIGHT OR DAY? day. ▸ DUSK OR DAWN? dawn. ▸ WARMTH OR COLD ? cold. ▸ MANY ACQUAINTANCES OR A FEW CLOSE FRIENDS? few close friends. ▸ READING OR PLAYING A GAME? reading.

✩ — 𝐐𝐔𝐄𝐒𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍𝐍𝐀𝐈𝐑𝐄.

▸ WHAT ARE SOME OF YOUR MUSE’S BAD HABITS? he is very stand off-ish. he can be very critical (both of himself and others) and often jumps to judgments before having all of the facts. He is stubborn and has a tendency to ignore the ideas of other parties once he is 'certain' his answer is the right one.

▸ HAS YOUR MUSE LOST ANYONE CLOSE TO THEM? HOW HAS IT AFFECTED THEM? At the age of 32, he's lost a few people in his life but the one that affected him the most was his father's suicide at the age of ten. Finding him, trying to save him, the guilt that came with it, the questions that followed .. they left a mark on Joe''s psyche. While he can acknowledge that he has always had the tendencies associated with his obsessive-compulsive disorder, he easily pinpoints that particular event as the catalyst that set the more severe aspects into motion.

▸ WHAT ARE SOME FOND MEMORIES YOUR MUSE HAS? Growing up with Adam. Things were always a bit harder for Joe in the sense that he always seemed right on the edge of any social circles, but his brother always ensured he was included as much as he wanted to be. Some of his best memories are the nights one of them would climb into the other's bed and they'd whisper stories and jokes to each other, never acknowledging that either one of them were afraid. sometimes, when things get overwhelming and he feels like he's going to have a breakdown (we've all been there) he remembers those nights and remembers that his brother is only a phone call away if he truly needs him.

▸ IS IT EASY FOR YOUR MUSE TO KILL? absolutely not. he believes he caused his father death by certain inactions that left his father 'vulnerable', but other than that .. he has never taken a life.

▸ WHAT’S IT LIKE WHEN YOUR MUSE BREAKS DOWN? He's one of those, I'm about to lose it guys. He can get teary eyed but its not often out of sadness or despair, more anger and frustration..that feeling of helpless desperation. Joe has crafted the ability of 'keeping it together' like its an olympic sport and he's in the running for a gold medal, but when that facade breaks .. it can be very ugly and very messy. It takes a lot to get through to him after that point.

▸ IS YOUR MUSE CAPABLE OF TRUSTING SOMEONE WITH THEIR LIFE? yes. he could name 4 people off the top of his head who he knows without a doubt would keep him safe and alive. Six if you're counting people who would probably try their best.

▸ WHAT’S YOUR MUSE LIKE WHEN THEY’RE IN LOVE? very committed. vulnerable. loyal. romantic in a very old-fashioned way. self - sacrificing. dependable. one of those guys who texts good morning and good night at the same time every day as part of a routine but means every word of it. joe is his partner's very best friend and their biggest supporter.

tagged by: stole it from @caracarnn (thank youuu!) tagging: @gentlemanstarkey , @volchtsa (amren or talia), @senstrike (tell me about kreese in love buddy), @homebehind (elaine!), @dodgedabullet, @theresastargirl, @wornkindness + you !! tag me.

#headcanon. it's not a disability. it's a gift.#look at me being productive mateys.#proud of my dumb self today

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