im so easy when it comes to immoral characters like okay do you bear your pain terribly? get behind me

they kicked me out of the Loves Azula club a couple months ago for saying she was probably an abusive sibling as a kid lieekk I still loves her. let me in.

i love how when you play who's lila you play it with the expectation that you're playing as a cold killer with something to hide and it turns out that is indeed who you're playing as, but NOT in the way you'd expect. the player thinks they're "in" on it, that as playing as the Killer they're privy to knowledge that other characters in the game aren't, only to realize they're playing a character so secretive and mysterious even THEY have been lied to and deceived. you are not playing as william clarke. you are playing as a thought-made-real who is wearing a boy's skin. she's tricked everyone and she's tricked you too.

kira & scott & theo || i'll be a killer and a thriller (and the cause of our death)

okee good morning...answering this for real now lmao

Required reading for context first!:

https://www.tumblr.com/painted-bees/714138097261150208/lark-wren-lark-needs-to-drag-her-focus-kicking

https://www.tumblr.com/painted-bees/713687883290214400/thinkin-more-about-magritte-and-rafael-because-of

Raf and Magritte, before meeting Cortes, had become pretty iron clad as a pair. As skittish/paranoid as Raf can be, Magritte had proven time and time again that she adores Raf for being Raf, and not what he can be used for nor what she imagines he should be. He’s no longer waiting for that other shoe to drop with her, like he’s usually waiting on with literally anyone else. Magritte’s love, so far as he can tell--and deliberately elects to believe in--is completely unconditional. Raf has only ever had three...four people he trusts to see him as himself and do well by him: his grandmother, his uncle, Magritte, and Cortes.

Magritte, of course, genuinely does adore Raf, thinks he’s very sweet--thinks he’s got a -lot- of baggage and needs some proper patience and a gentle kind of love. But he’s very patient with her, doesn’t yell at her for forgetting things or forgetting to -do- things, and just seems to genuinely love having her around, and doesn’t get annoyed when she’s excited about stuff and it’s just...so refreshing.

Needless to say, Raf and Magritte are ride or die for each other. Raf is extremely protective of Magritte’s infectious enthusiasm, optimism, and her overall penchant to see the best in every situation and every person. Magritte just wants to see Raf have an easier time of things and find joy in the stuff that is joyful again.

Raf and Magritte met Cortes...strangely: https://www.tumblr.com/painted-bees/715850323888160768/the-water-between-the-discovery-islands-off-the

Cortes is their...adopted cryptid gf, they kinda have this inherent understanding that Cortes is more a force of nature than anything else. She comes and goes as she pleases, is wholly aloof to the world around her outside of Raf and Magritte (whom are the clear objects of her affection during her little ‘human-kind’ cosplay adventure). Sometimes Cortes is gone for a month or so at a time, with no indication of where she went or what she’s doing. But Magritte and Raf both inherently kinda...know...she’ll be back and she’s fine. 

Raf and Cortes have a very quiet, chill kind of relationship--very low energy in the comforting way. The relationship version of “lowfi beats to study to” lmao. 

Magritte and Cortes have a very playful, mischievous relationship and Cortes encourages Magritte’s childish impulses--both good and peevish lmao they are a chaotic duo...but they somehow always get away with what ever trouble they end up finding themselves in together. 

Neither Magritte nor Raf (nor anyone, really) find anything unsettlingly strange or off putting about Cortes--she’s not even all that weird, really. Just a unique kind of charisma. 

I can't tell you how strongly I feel about this

It feels voyeuristic to share videos/images of the brutal suffering the Palestinian people are going through every day, and I hate that it's come to that. I hate that these people are forced to display their loved one's mangled corpses for everyone to see, in the desperate hope that it will convince the governments of the world that they don't deserve to be treated like vermin to exterminate.

I want to be clear, they are not wrong for sharing these things, and it is paramount for us to show it to others. It is deeply upsetting and troubling to see these things, but that's exactly the point- that's the purpose. If they have to live through it, if they themselves cannot escape it, then it is our obligation AT THE VERY LEAST, to listen to them and look at whats happening, even if it disgusts us. ESPECIALLY if it disgusts us. We owe them that much. We owe them our anger and rage on their behalf. We owe them our full attention. Genocide is everyone's issue, and to look away is to help the perpetrator.

father's been getting into youtube videos that really "open up your mind". it's over for me

i remain fascinated by the suzie/todd parallels because it always makes me wonder if todd could have girlbossed too close to the sun if the conditions were right

I hope I'm like you when I grow up

a lot can be said about wind up doll as a very karen song. many ways to approach this. one that makes me sad is thinking about her as Pure Love Interest. when her only narrative function is to be that and nothing more even though she has the chances and has shown she can be something beyond that. but reduced to it nonetheless. ouuuughhh wind up doll everyone knows wind it up and way it goes it does the things it's taught to too i guess im kinda of a wind up dolly too i really walk i really talk i'll come straight to you take me home im quite a prize wind me up you'll realize just how much a wind up doll can do here's a key unlock my heart wind up dolls sometimes get lonely too wind me up i'll fall in love with you. KARENNNNNNNNN

and even worse when someone is not oversexualizing me

i feel so unattractive, so unloved, so invalid, so ugly and useless

i feel like sex is the only thing i have to offer, the only thing that i'm good at and the only thing that makes me feel valid.

i need sexual attention. please let me feel loved.

it doesn't feel right when im not being treated like a sex toy.

i've always been just a vertical piece of flesh you can sit on, a useless whore, an object that causes arousal. what am i supposed to think when i'm suddenly not? people seeing me as a human person feels so wrong.

for the longest time I saw people tear sotsugou apart, specifically talking about how "it redeemed Teppei and had Satoko lie about the abuse!" as if it was some godawful "don't believe victims/what if the abuser was the real victim all along!" message that shits on the original story. finally got to watch it for myself. it actually turned out to be one of the most realistic and resonant portrayals of retraumatization/revictimization I've seen. and not only are those Not the messages, that summary is an inaccurate oversimplification of the situation, and it doesn't backtrack on the themes or Satoko's arc at all but reinforces the point that it made. OK

Hm. I’ve gotten more measured & mature about a lot of things with age but i still hope the kids who bullied me throughout middle school all died & went to hell. 

I thought it was suspicious that I hadn't cried in 7 days. and then one minor argument with my mom led to a full blown screaming match and now im on the kitchen floor LOL