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#back on my hyperfixation bullshit

towards-toramunda · 6 months

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Hey do you ever think about Orym being a self proclaimed romantic who is “super lonely all the time, especially at night” and how guilty he feels about wanting romantic connection because he still loves his husband, and sees Will’s face every night before going to bed, but he’s starting to realize his deeper attraction to Ashton as something real and realize his pining for Dorian as something he shouldn’t ignore, but he was supposed to be with Will and he’s come to terms with Will dying, but sometimes it hurts so much, and yes he wants romantic connection and he’s so lonely, but he still hasn’t gotten revenge for Will’s death, and he may die soon so why pursue anything if he’s gonna be with Will again in the afterlife, BUT he may die soon and why hold off on admitting how he feels when he knows that despite losing Will the time they had was real good and he wouldn’t trade it for anything, and what if he doesn’t die what if it all turns out okay and maybe he now really has a reason to want and hope for not just *the* future, but HIS future because that future could include Dorian or Ashton and is it bad to not want to be with Will sooner or is it better to want to live and be with someone who cares for him because thats what Will would want and he wants romantic connection and he is so lonely all the time, especially at night, and what if I started chewing the drywall huh?

#Hello My Brain Is Only Thinking Orym Thoughts #Liam can’t just drop that Orym is super lonely all the time especially at night and expect any of us to be normal about it #critical role #cr spoilers #orym of the air ashari #this is your chance to get a peak into my craziness #ashrym #dorym #again I’m not much of a dorym girlie pop #BUT #I see the vision #and if Robbie comes back for a long time and can give me the good good slow burn I desire? what then am I to do but agree #but I’m still on my ashrym bull shit #I’m so deep in my ashrym bullshit my passive perception is 48 #a forehead kiss and loneliness admission makes me lose my gd mind #I admit that this is excessive but blame the adhd hyperfixation I am just along for the ride

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chocoenvy · 1 year

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Hey hey hey hey! Remember those different moms for child god reader fics? Well since Sumeru came out, what if Child God landed there and Dunyazad takes them in for a bit and Child God unknowingly cures her Eleazar?

OH MY FUCKING-

Mommy Dunyarzad (except she shows up for a solid two seconds)

warnings: Angsty!! Spoilers for Sumeru archon quest, a child (under 10) is considered god, cult behaviors

Notes: That's right bitches im alive

3.1k words

Her hands were shaking as she carefully took care of the child, reaching out for their forehead to feel their temperature, gently checking their pulse and heart.

"The Dendro archon must have blessed me once more." The sentence slipped shakily past her lips, a disbelieving smile tugging up on her lips yet her eyes remained creased in worry. She must've looked insane, but really how else was she supposed to react?

There was no way she could pick you up, and there was no way she could leave you to get Dehya. Dunyarzad bit her lip, glaring at her bandaged hands.

She sighed, "Guess I'll just have to wait until you awake, little one." Her eyes softened fondly at your sleeping form, "May the Dendro archon bless your dreams." She placed her hand on your forehead.

The Dendro archon was, in fact, blessing your dreams.

Behind your eyes there was a dream unfolding before you. You stood in the middle of a large cage the bars higher than your house. In there with you was a small girl, green accented hair and her large green eyes, her pupils were blooming flowers.

"You're not from here, are you?" Her voice was high pitched and soft, yet resounded in your ears. You couldn't ignore her even if you tried.

"Where is here?" Your voice was equally soft, despite the circumstances there was no flame in your veins screaming at you to get out of this cage.

You couldn't tear your eyes away from the girl's.

The girl smiled, "Here is here, and you are not usually here, are you?"

You frowned at her confusing wording, "I guess you're right."

She hummed and nodded, pleased, "Yes, (Y/n), right?"

For some reason you weren't surprised that she knew your name. You stepped closer, "Yes. Who are you? And how do you know my name?"

"There are few who don't know." She responded simply, "Both your name and mine, as is the way with gods. We are commodities."

"Co...mo- wait what do you mean gods? And you still didn't tell me your name." You pouted, your head spinning from her confusing sentances.

The girl came closer to you, her eyes made your skin crawl, she stared straight through you, every crevice of your soul was seen by her. Yet somehow she was still comforting, smiling and soft, she saw all of you and understood all of you.

"I am Nahida. Do you know where here is?" She dodged questions like a master, making you wonder how many mind games she's played.

"I... don't." You frowned, your eyes growing slowly watery.

Panic erupted in her eyes, "Well, technically you are dreaming right now, but I am more than real. Where your body is, is not where it's supposed to be."

"My...body..." You muttered, "So where is my body then? If I am not where I'm supposed to be?" You worriedly frowned, "Am I at school? I'm not supposed to sleep at school."

Nahida chuckled, "No, it's not as bad as that. You are merely... hmm how should I put this?... It's the same as a bee living in a hive that's not its own but all the bees think you're the queen bee. You are outside of the system, and you're not supposed to be there, but you think it's home. Does that make sense?" She explained, "It's not necessarily a bad thing as you are not negatively impacting anything, but it's not how things are supposed to be. Do you understand?"

You stared blankly at her.

She sighed, slumping her shoulders, "You are a queen bee in a new hive, but in your old hive you were a regular bee." Her gaze turned grave, "The worker bees will all treat you differently. Remember that when you awake."

"W-what?" Your eyes were round and glassy, confused and scared, "What do you mean?"

Her tiny hands cradled the backs of your dominant hand, in your palm a foreign flower bloomed, "Remember my words and you will be alright. We shall meet again when you next dream. Take care, (Y/n) and don't be afraid. You will be taken care of."

Her smile was sweet as the moon and faded just as fast when the sunlight crashed onto your eyes. You groaned, covering your eyes so they wouldn't be burned by the sunlight.

There was a gasp above you, "You're up!" It sounded like a woman.

You blinked blearily up at her. She didn't look the slight bit familiar, and compared to the girl in your dreams she was rather plain looking. The girl in your dreams...

You shot up, My dream!

Your tiny body heaved gasps of air, as you ignored the woman beside you to soak in the surrounding scenery. It was green and beautiful, a large tree reaching its branches up to the sky was nearby, a fantastical city built into it. There was also a rainforest farther away, and you swore you saw a desert even father than that.

"Where... is here?" Your wide eyes looked up at the woman, swimming with confusion and yet - to Dunyarzad's surprise - no fear.

She smiled patiently, "Here is Sumeru, child. I am Dunyarzad, may I know your name?"

You blinked up at her.

You are a queen bee in a new hive. The words echoed throughout your head like a mantra.

"I'm (Y/n). It's nice to meet you Dunyarzad." You smiled up at her, hoping that Nahida's words - whatever they meant - were wrong.

Dunyarzad's breathing halted for a moment, and then she smiled. Large and warm and distant, "It's a joy to meet you, young (Y/n). Are you aware of your purpose here?"

"My... purpose?" Your large, child eyes stared curiously at her.

She nodded, "You were put here for a reason, I know you aren't a child from Sumeru who accidentally fell asleep in a forest. No, you are different. Do you know why exactly you are in Sumeru?"

You hesitantly shook your head as a no, worry filling your large orbs.

"You are here... because you love Teyvat." She grinned, "Isn't that right? You love Teyvat so much and the world knew, so it brought you here. Isn't that lovely?" She smiled so brightly it nearly outrivaled the sun.

You grinned, "Yeah! Though I've never seen Sumeru before, it's so pretty!" You looked around once more, drinking in everything you could see with glee. "So, my purpose is to enjoy Teyvat?" You tilted your head curiously.

Dunyarzad nodded gleefully, "Yes!" She said softly, honey coating her voice, "You were brought here by divine will, your will to be here and to love here."

You grinned brightly, "That's so cool!"

Dunyarzad nodded as you stood up and hopped around excitedly, "Settle down, child. Come," She stood, dusting off her dress, "allow me to take you to Sumeru city. It is much safer there, and comfier than the wilderness."

You looked at her outstretched hand covered in bandages. You gingerly placed your smaller hand in hers and she led you towards the massive tree, who's branches hoped to one day meet the sky.

Before the gate to the city was even in sight, you could feel the stares from wandering people nearby. The way their eyes widened as they caught onto you, breath caught in their throat, their whole bodies turned in your direction.

Dunyarzad was all smiles, even as your hand tightened nervously around hers. You could see droplets of sweat drip down her face, but she remained bright and comforting. Yet you knew something was wrong.

You got closer to her, almost burying yourself in her side, staring at the ground to avoid the stares.

"Dunyarzad! What are you-" You jumped back as a large woman rushed to Dunyarzad.

"Dehya!" She gasped , "Thank the archons. Look, it's-"

The woman with weird... ears(?) on her head and sharp blue eyes grabbed Dunyarzad's arm urgently, "I know-" She shook her head, "I know who it is." She whispered urgently, "Come on let's go to your house before..." Her eyes connected with yours and you felt a chill travel down your spine. The worry and tint of fear in her eyes as she stared at you was enough to have your hands shaking and gripping tighter onto Dunyarzad's bandaged hand.

The woman - Dehya - rushed the two of you into the heart of the city. Dehya pulled you in between her and Dunyarzad, your right hand being held by Dunyarzad and left arm being held onto tightly by Dehya.

Your chest heaved, there were pinpricks on the back of your eyes and your throat stocked up. You could hear your heart beat reverberate in your ears.

Dehya ushered you and Dunyarzad into a house and shut the door quickly.

"Dehya what-"

"Dunyarzad I-" Her blue eyes glanced at you nervously before settling back on Dunyarzad, "You know-" She huffed and muttered, "Do you understand how the Akademiya will feel about them?"

Dunyarzad tilted her head, "Won't-won't they feel thrilled."

Dehya pursed her lips, "Dunyarzad..." She sighed after glancing at you once more, "We shouldn't be talking about this with them around. Come on kid, you hungry?"

The words struggled out of your mouth, "A little..."

"Here I'll get you a drink too." Her and Dunyarzad made eye contact and they left the room.

Your feet dangled off the seat and you stared at them mindlessly. The tears tickling the back of your eyes finally wriggled their way out. You sniffled and wiped the tears away as well as you could. Why were you so sad? This place was... fun wasn't it? Shouldn't it be?

You love Teyvat. You love everyone here. That's why you're here, that's what the little girl said.

But why did you want to go home so badly? Why did everyone look at you like that?

A bang resounded throughout the entire house, your head snapped up in alarm, and the front door was blocked off by a group of people.

You had a flashback to all those nightmares you'd had that went exactly like this. Those nightmares that had you waking up sobbing and running to your parent. But would you wake up this time? Who would you cry to?

Tears were already streaming down your face, sobs wracking your body. There was nobody to help you.

"Calm down, child." The person in the front said, his voice gruff and uncaring, "Come with us, you are very important and we cannot leave you here."

Wasn't that what the girl - Nahida - was saying? Was it really true?

You pursed your lips and opened them up to retort when a strong arm wrapped around your waist and carried you away. The wind whipped your hair back, a scream tore through your throat at the fear that suffocated your lungs.

Your nails dug into the arm holding you, you were now outside with this person carrying you. You managed to gather the sense to look at who it was.

Dehya.

Dunyarzad was nowhere to be found.

"W-" you coughed out, "Where-"

"Shh!" She shushed you harshly, "If we want to get out of here alive and happy we need to be quiet. Okay?"

Her tone made your crying - which had halted briefly from panic - to start up again.

A flash of regret burned her eyes but it was gone as soon as it had come.

"Okay." You quieted your sniffling.

"Dehya." A deeper, distinctly male voice cut through the wind.

Dehya stopped in her tracks and wordlessly you were passed on. Dehya continued running away, and instinctively you reached for her. The man gently pulled your hand down and tucked you into his thick coat until you were completely obstructed from view.

"Keep quiet and don't move."

You nodded and felt him start to walk. You held your breath every time you heard people and footsteps. Though, strangely, every time you walked past someone they seemed to part for him and quiet down. It brought some relief to you but no matter what your heart was thumping against your chest so hard you were terrified if someone got too close they'd hear.

The man was swift and was quick to exit the city gate, it was less than five minutes later that he set you down in a secluded spot.

Your entire body was shaking, your legs hardly letting you stand up.

"Nilou, take them and go to Gandharva ville. Tighnari and Collei will be able to get them to Liyue and from there everything will go smoothly." The man said gravely.

The girl who had appeared from behind a rock nodded, "I'll do my best, Cyno."

"Good." There was no warmth in his voice and the white haired man disappeared back into the city.

The Nilou lady had orange hair and blue eyes, a beautiful combination, as well as a pair of horns on her head. You briefly wondered if she was related to Ganyu but your heart was beating too fast for you to worry about it for too long.

"It's nice to meet you, your grace." She bowed gracefully, "I am Nilou, I wish we had met under better circumstances but it is extremely important that we hurry." She held out her hand and you blindly took it.

She hoisted you up onto her hip and began sprinting. You weren't sure how far you had made it, the terrain unfamiliar to you, but Nilou was growing tired quickly.

You didn't think you were being followed but there were enemies around every turn, people and monsters alike, which made it 10 times harder to get around.

Eventually, Nilou set you down, her breathing ragged and sweat coating her forhead.

"I'm afraid we'll have to walk for the rest of this journey. Or at least until I get my energy back, if that's alright?" She held her hand out once more.

You grabbed it and nodded.

Your eyes wandered aimlessly, wide and searching for a distraction. Your heart had hardly calmed down and you hardly gripped onto Nilou's hand.

"...my name's (Y/n)," You muttered.

Nilou blinked, glancing down at you for a moment. She smiled beautifully, "What a cute name."

You looked up at her, it felt like your head would fall off any moment, "It's nice to meet you...Nilou."

She smiled softly, "It's nice to meet you as well, your grace."

You frowned, a moment of silence passing between you two.

"You can call me (Y/n)..."

Nilou seemed panicked for a moment, "Well I wouldn't want to disrespect you- although... to keep a low profile I suppose it would help..."

You nodded, "It's also weird being called that."

Nilou paused and giggled, such a childish answer bringing her back to the reality that you were a child in both body and mind.

"I understand. Can I ask how old you are, (Y/n)?" She asked in a kind tone and so casually that you could almost pretend you were meeting a new character - or even person - for the first time.

You nodded, "I'm seven." You held up seven fingers to the sky, while still holding Nilou's hand.

"Oh my, that's quite young. How'd you end up in Sumeru?" She asked, genuine curiosity on her face.

"I woke up here! And Dunyarzad found me!"

Nilou hummed, "I see. This must be quite the upsetting introduction to Teyvat." A frown tugged the corners of her lips down, her eyes turning downcast.

You frowned and could feel the hotness of tears tickle the backs of your eyes, "...yeah." You whined, "I don't wanna talk about it." Your voice was barely a whisper but Nilou heard loud and clear the pain in your voice.

"I'm sorry." Was all she said, and you didn't have the energy to lie to her and tell her that it was alright.

"We're almost there." Nilou pointed ahead, "Do you see the taller trees over there? With the buildings built into them and all the vines and buildings hanging from the trees?"

You nodded, "Uh huh." Your heartrate had calmed and there was a wonder sparkling in your eyes instead of fear. It made Nilou sigh with relief.

"That's Gandharva Ville. Where you'll meet Tighnari and Collei." She brought her hand back down to her side, grinning at the wonder glimmering in your eyes.

She giggled as you unconsciously picked up your pace.

You pursed your lips and opened your mouth before you thought about stopping yourself, "Nilou, what am I?"

"Huh?" She jumped at the question.

You looked up at her with eyes so desperate and confused and lost. It made her heart burn and crack.

After a minute of silence she sighed, "You are a god. You control Teyvat and the happenings within it. Your hand is divine and touches every vision wielder within Teyvat. You watch over us and help us with a guiding hand."

She sounded rehearsed, you didn't want to know how many times this had been said.

You looked up at her with quivering lips and watery eyes, "I don't... I don't think I'm a god."

"Oh dear..." Nilou crouched down gracefully beside you, her hands coming up to cup your face and gently wipe your tears with her thumb. "You're only a child. I'm sorry things have to be this way, but you will be treated with the upmost care and gentleness in Liyue. I can guaretee you. In Sumeru though... in Sumeru our archon is not loved by the people, and we do not want that fate befalling you." She cradled your face gently, her expression crinkled in pain and sympathy, "For now, let's focus on getting you into Liyue. I know it's painful and it's so much for you to handle, but do you think you can hold out for just a bit longer?"

You sniffled, but nodded.

She smiled sweetly, "Good."

She wiped the remaining tears from your eyes and stood up. She grabbed your hand and continued her way to Gandharva Ville. The two of you remained in comfortable silence.

Until Nilou noticed that the forest was too quiet... there weren't any people or animals around.

The fact mostly flew over your head but what neither of you could ignore was the smoke filling your nostrils.

Nilou had picked up her pace, her palm already summoning her hydro powers as if on instinct.

But all of it came to a halt when you and her stood in front of what used to be a bridge leading into Gandharva Ville. A weird blue fire lit up the entirety of the forest.

In the center of it all was a certain doctor, uninterestingly glancing around.

Nilou shoved you into nearby shrubbery that hadn't been touched by the fire yet. Her sword, already infused with hydro, appeared in her hand.

Run. She mouthed.

You obeyed without hesitation.

#sagau #genshin cult au #uh anyways im back on my sagau bullshit #genshin self aware #dunyarzad #cyno #nilou #child!god reader #BRO MY FIC AUTOSAVED #IM CRYING TEARS OF JOY RN U DON'T UNDERSTAND #i swear i wanted to follow the prompt better #i really did i just got carried away #i'm collecting fics with multiple parts so fast istg #will i ever finish this? that's for my hyperfixation to know and the rest of us to find out

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70-percent-water · 4 days

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You know, I'm extremely happy that 'I have no mouth, and I must scream' is gaining traction again, because it reminded us of the absolutely bonkers fixation we had on it as a short story back in middle/high school-

But it also brought to our attention that, we know absolutely jack shit about the game.

And trying to get into the game adaptation is, weird, if only because we think the supposed 'good ending' routes, seem to be shoehorned in and really only exist to give the game itself a replayability factor.

Because let's be honest, the story isn't something that lends itself well to there being a positive outcome for any of the characters.

Yet at the same time, I'm super interested in the concept the game presented with the, Id, Ego, and Superego, clearly representing other mastercomputer circuits.

While I'm not exactly vibing with there being a random moon colony of people.

I think that the potential of other artificial intelligence systems like AM existing, somewhere out there in the wreckage of the stories world, just creeping around in the ashes of society, could make for an even deeper layer of off the wall existential horror.

AMs character motivation lies pretty solidly in the fact that he sees himself as slighted from the human experience despite giving the ability to think as any man could.

So having others like him out there who suffer that same existence and possibly cope in drastically varying ways...

Could open up a floodgate of interpersonal drama that my baby fanfic writer brain is just, rotating in my mind like a gas station hot dog.

Because everyone who's stood against AM has been, human themselves, they can't truly empathize with his absolutely deranged viewpoint especially after the actions he took for the sake of justifying his own misery.

But if there were other A.I beings out there, possibly even just one who possibly coped with the uncertainty of their existence through a more virtuous or potentially even more fucked up path...

That's just ripe ass drama

((Not saying AM would have a change of heart, as stated he's a deranged little bastard and I wouldn't have it any other way, but having that conflict of morals and ideals could have some deep ass writing))

....honestly this is just a long winded way of saying I'm thinking about making another OC, but I digress

#back on my bullshit #im hyperfixating again #ihnmaims #i have no mouth and i must scream #allied mastercomputer #ihnmaims am #AM

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pix-writes · 9 months

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Been watching old movies lately and came across basil rathbone's sherlock & that awakened in me the remembrance of watching granada holmes, oh, ages ago, as a tween & now I've fell down into my love for Sherlock Holmes again! (acd/Victorian decidedly, no m*ftiss here tyvm)

I. am. obsessed. with Jeremy Brett's version of holmes 😍 he's simply the best screen version there's no question {and the fact that now I know he's bi & nd (I am too!) makes it all the better viewing 💜} - but I also am really enjoying watching burke and hardwicke's portrayals of Watson this time around, I don't think I really took notice of just how well they play our good friend & colleague ☺️ Dr John Watson the first time around and looking kinda hot while doing it, I think.

#back on my sherlock bullshit #I've fallen down the stairs into another hyperfixation fandom when I was really trying not to!#oh wells!#acd holmes #granada holmes #acd sherlock holmes #victorian sherlock #victorian husbands #acd johnlock #granada johnlock #jeremy brett #tl;dr I found out that granada holmes exists and my og ship again #basil rathbone ily as sherlock but the movies aren't as great I'm sorry #Jeremy Sherlock is so 😍😍😍 y'know?

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etherealspacejelly · 2 months

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scary dangerous on the internet 🫵 you are going to sell me drugs

hey kid we got the good shit. its gonna have you zonked out of your gourd.

have you ever heard of spirk-

#inbox #ask #inbox open #star trek #spirk #back on my star trek bullshit #robin rambles about his hyperfixations

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bam-monsterhospital · 4 months

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i know i've posted before about how against the idea of women (because marvel's full of cowards and doesn't want to have that conversation) telepaths being romantically/sexually attracted to scott summers i have been.

and while I know the actual intent behind this pattern on marvel's end and still disagree with that for obvious reasons, ...

In a vacuum? It makes sense.

Most xmen characters express what they're about on the surface, and there aren't too many layers hidden underneath. I can imagine telepaths in the world of marvel getting quickly bored by the people in that world not having anything more to offer than what's out front. Then you have a character like scott, who is designed to be deeply introspective anti-surface-read. A character the audience only gets the full picture of (/learns to appreciate) if the medium allows that glimpse into what's going on below the carefully controlled outer shell. That must be fascinating for a telepath (especially in marvel where you don't have many characters strictly adhering to this design). Not only that, it would take a telepath, or someone who is privy to what's going on below the surface (like, a non-telepath who is trusted enough for scott to open up to) to appreciate the full breadth of this character. So of COURSE the ones who react positively to the idea of scott summers would be those who know there's a lot of unseen shit going on there. It makes sense.

#scott summers #ramblings #don't mind me #unfortunately we're not in a vacuum #and marvel uses the pattern in other ways #aka: lazily #and also insidiously #lazily because: gotta repeat what's worked before #combined with a dismissive attitude towards attraction and masculinity and fjskalfda;#i could go on forever but i'm too tired to delve into that right now #xmen #superhero stuff #character stuff #character talk #hyperfixations never die #they just hibernate for a while #i'm not fully back on my bullshit #but it never went away

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plaqying · 5 months

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milo and aggro 🤝 carlos and dude

idk what they’re agreeing on milo just reminded me of carlos

#back on my bullshit #descendants was my first hyperfixation #redacted audio #redactedverse #redacted asmr #redacted milo #descendants #carlos descendants

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teas-of-trin · 1 year

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"Camille and Amy are further unsettling because they invert--indeed, weaponize--the violence aimed at them and gain power through the language they have been historically denied. "

"...her motivation in solving the Wind Gap murders is unconsciously linked to this sorrow. Camille's inability to find a home stems from her newfound position as an objective stranger, someone who is not passive and detached, but simultaneously distant and near, indifferent and involved. Despite having belonged to the Wind Gap "group" in her adolescence and her childhood, Camille's external development as an antiheroine now renders her strange...she imports qualities into [the group], which do not and cannot stem from the group itself"

"Camille's acts of self-harm place her in the liminal space between life and death and serve as a physical reminder of her existential uneasiness... Camille's cutting is a safety net...the words cut into Camille's flesh symbolize her fraught relationship with femininity"

"The perpetual links here between self-mutilation, sexual desire, and maternal control speak to anxieties surrounding female otherness, suggesting that the antiheroine-stranger is inextricably and disturbingly tied up with such notions. In crossing these patriarchal boundaries and defying traditional notions of femininity, the antiheroine-stranger remains familiar, rejected, and desired in her transcendence."

"Camille is a variation of Camilla and the Latin name, camillus, meaning noble youth attending at sacrifices, or acolyte. The connections here between the violent sacrificial deaths (of humans and animals) and smothering motherhood further enunciate Camille's outside status, for her very name positions her as involved but detached, distant but near--an attendee or observer, a stranger."

"Amma's fascination with the objectified animals [pigs] hints at her own internalization of patriarchal methods of violence control, which she then internalizes through the act of murder, whereas Camille redirects the violence onto herself. Both methods expose the cyclic nature of patriarchal violence, suggesting that the antiheroine-stranger must either redirect such violence towards others or decide to harm herself, both of which operate as a coping mechanism and method of cathartic expression"

"Amma's violent transition into adulthood holds a mirror to Camille's own traumatic past, but Camille's social exclusion and strangeness are also exacerbated by her significant lack of a physical and symbolic place to call home...[Camille] hated being in Wind Gap, but home held no comfort either, with its "cheap transitory, and mostly uninspired" aesthetic only reinforcing her wandering and nomadic status. Conversely, the family home in Wind Gap is stagnant in its isolation and memories of Marian's death."

"The name of the town itself suggests a transitory place, a space defined by invisible forces, absence, and now, inexplicable crime. Camille's own childhood abuse at the hands of her mother is suggested from the moment she reinhabits her childhood hom, for her dreams begin to confuse memory, fear, and unreality...It is the reconnection of the self with the familiar, transitory space that allows Camille to confront the horror and realities of her past. Further grounding of this dream as symbolic of her own past is Camille's discovery shortly afterwards of Natalie Keene's corpse, found in a physically liminal location...Natalie's body, simultaneously innocent and defiled, speaks to the sexual anxieties surrounding female deviancy, sexual expression, and violence, confronting Camille with her uneasy relationship with her (strange) self and others. The positioning of Natalie's body is also fittingly gendered given that she refutes traditional binary gender performances in her own propensity for violence and her tomboy personality. Viscerally disturbed by the sight of Natalie's body--which is representative of the "utmost abjection--Camille also unknowingly faces the realities of her childhood and witnesses her potential future as a fatal victim of Adora's 'love'".

"Camille's position as a stranger...clouds her ability to find the truth efficiently, yet it also empowers her to find answers eventually."

"Camille unrelentingly confronts the boundary of life and death, actively skirting the borderline to gain a sense of control over her own body and identity...It is only because of her position as a recognizable stranger that Camille is able to confront the truth of her past and expose both Amma's and Adora's crimes."

"...Camille engages with the borderline between life and death as a way of reconciling her inner turmoil...."

-From, "To Start: I Should Never Should Have Been Born": The Antiheroine as Stranger in Gillian Flynn's Sharp Objects and Gone Girl by Eleanore Gardner

#Sharp Objects #Camille Preaker #Amma Crellin #Adora Crellin #I'm back at it again with the sharp objects meta-analysis bullshit #god this whole paper fucks hard #like I tried to shorten the post #but my universal being this shit went to hard for me to cut anything #Please enjoy my hyperfixation #Camille Preaker you are [ ]#tw self harm

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yea-baiyi · 2 months

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xuan ji is unnaturally short because she literally cut herself down to become a burden to pei ming, while hua cheng is ghoulishly tall because of his ghost powers that he got while becoming xie lian’s source of strength. is that anything

#from the drafts #this could be better worded but tbh i’ve been depressed for long enough #time to give the people some of the shit that’s just sitting in the drafts #tgcf #xuan ji #hua cheng #my hyperfixation demon #i’m back and here with more bullshit hua cheng stan takes

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