#azriel has to fight with his shadows for gwyn lol
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You know, a common anti-Gwynriel argument is that Azriel and Gwyn have known each other "for years" but they were not friends (according to Azriel's inner dialogue in the bonus chapter, which took place earlier in ACOSF) so Azriel supposedly didn't care about her. But Gwyn had literally been in the library for two years and had never left it until Nesta came? The same library that acts as a safe haven for the traumatized priestesses so that males like Azriel can't enter without permission?? Where, when and why would they have even gotten the chance to interact with each other??
It's so bafflingly obvious to me that Gwyn and Azriel only really started interacting in ACOSF that I wonder how others don't see it. I really don't. Or maybe people really do see what they want to see -- and only that.
And yes, Azriel cares soooooo little about Gwyn that his "shadows deepened" and "his siphons gleam[ed] like cobalt fire" and he stuttered for the first time in the series at the mention of her being in danger.
Yep. Clearly he doesn't care about her. Like, at all.
#gwynriel#pro gwynriel#azriel has to fight with his shadows for gwyn lol#the real love triangle is az gwyn and his shadows
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“gwyn will be the one making moves on him, or at least be the one to take that first, big step, and i think that will be huge for az who constantly feels he's not worthy or good enough”
I hope after Gwyn and Azriel develop a good friendship we get to see her blatantly flirt and tease him. He will be shook. I don’t think he would be use to it. I want to see him blush and stumble over his words while his shadows say teasing words in his ear. I think Gwyn will fight for Azriel. She will stand up for him and stand her ground. She won’t be afraid to call him out, but she’ll still fight for him. I also think Gwyn will make the first move, whether it’s confessing her feelings or asking if she can kiss him, she will be the one to chase Azriel. It seems like he’s always done the chasing, but this time, it’ll be Gwyn and he won’t know how to handle it.
here's how i see it, we know az has game. he's hot, broody and in his own words, doesn't need to resort to poetry. however, i want gwyn to catch him so off guard that it's like he's the one being wooed, you know? like he almost doesn't even realize it and he'd start questioning it, thinking he's imagining it, to which his shadows would be delighted and encourage him. they're basically his wispy wingmen lol
i think it's very important for az's character to see and eventually understand that he deserves the same treatment he tries to give others. that it's ok if he's the one who needs saving sometimes, and before anyone comes into my inbox, no i am not saying gwyn can "fix" him or whatever. i'm simply stating that az has always been the one to thrown himself into danger because he thinks so little of himself and that's just how he is. it'd be good for him to see that he can trust someone else to help him, or handle it themselves
as you said, she'll be the one chasing him. it's just what makes sense to me, especially when you consider their pasts. az is used to not being much more than a good fuck, and with gwyn's assault, he'd never want to push her on anything. even if he had feelings first. that's why i think the "you're the new ribbon, az" line is so important. it's straight up telling us that gwyn is determined and she has her sights set on az, whatever that may entail and i for one cannot wait to see how their relationship plays out. i feel it'll be one of the most fun arcs sjm has written yet
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Gwynriel headcanons I have floating in my mind:
(Watch me try and incorporate these all in ACOSAS lol)
Azriel gifts Gwyn her own dagger, symbolically showing her that she is his equal in both pain, strength and rank.
Gwyn loves Azriel’s hands and takes every opportunity to hold them and kiss them gently. They are the hands that saved her from Sangravah and she will never see them as anything but beautiful. She is the first person to not look at them with either horror or disgust and it both flaws and shocks him every time she wants to touch them.
The shadows are obsessed with Gwyn and take every opportunity to abandon Azriel and be with her because she pats and sings to them like one would a house pet. When she speaks to them, she refers to Azriel as their ‘daddy’ which both amuses and turns him on.
Because of the excessive scarring in Azriel’s hands, he has reduced sensation in his fingers. But due to the strength and magical sensory properties of the mating bond, his sensation with Gwyn is heightened. So, he runs his fingers though her hair constantly, as it’s so silky to touch.
When the war is over, Gwyn has a side job teaching self defence classes for women and children who are SA’d and from disadvantaged backgrounds. Azriel is inspired by her work and starts a mentorship program for abused children in domestic violence situations. The programs make monumental social change and it’s called the Catrin Berdara Foundation.
When she wakes up from a nightmare, Azriel holds her and sings her the temple hymns she taught him until she falls asleep again. She never tires of hearing his voice and often asks him to sing with her when she’s having a bad day.
Every time Azriel’s birthday comes around, Gwyn makes a huge deal of it and she plans for them to do everything he loves and eat everything he adores and makes him feel special and appreciated for the entire day.
Gwyn is a hit with Azriel’s mother and their strong bond encourages her to feel confident leaving Rosehall to spend Winter solstice with them in Velaris.
When they move into their first home, Gwyn makes sure there is plenty of natural light and lots of windows so it doesn’t remind Az of his childhood.
Similarly, when they have kids, Azriel is obsessed with the rooms never being too small, dark or lonely. Azriel paints their rooms in bright colours himself and fills it with toys, books and musical instruments.
Azriel totally builds Gwyn a library of her own in their home and he likes to sit in there and watch her work and read when he’s home. In fact, he likes it so much, they end up turning the library into their joint study and their desks face each other.
Azriel reads every single book about pregnancy and fatherhood/parenting in an attempt to assuage his anxiety about becoming a father. He is an incredible father because of how seriously he takes the role. The children are equal measures spoilt and listened to and they are never made to go to the Illyrian training camps like he was. In fact, he never lets them enter Illyria.
They have three children: a pair of twins, a girl with dark hair and hazel eyes who is cheeky and a total trouble maker and a boy with copper hair and turquoise eyes who is shy, gentle and quiet and then, a surprise baby boy a few years later who is the perfect balance of them both - and he has wings! The youngest ends up running away to the training camps to have an Illyrian education because he idolises Nyx and wants to prove himself.
Their kids are genius level smart and can sing, play the piano, read at an adult literacy rate and fight like devils by the time they’re eight years old.
Gwyn and Azriel have a holiday home by the sea and every year they spend their mating anniversary there.
#gwynriel#gwyn supremacy#gwyneth berdara#azriel#azriel shadowsinger#azriel x gwyn#gwyneth x azriel#acotar#acotar theory
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There are theories that Mor and Azriel are mates, but since she prefers females nothing ever happened (because of how protective he gets, for example when he choked Eris) and that Elain & Azriel have mates, however, end up choosing each other./forbidden romance. What do you think of this theory? I like Elain, but I don’t want her with Az. I prefer Elucien (I feel like since Elain is a seer, gifted with sight, her powers are connected with Lucien since his dad is Helion, who SJM based on Greek god Helion, who is the god of sight) and I just don’t like the three sisters for three brothers. It feels to predictable. I kind of feel like Azriel is someone who self sabotages. He crushes on Mor for 500 knowing he can’t have her and I’m sure his shadows can pick up on feelings and emotions, so wouldn’t he be able to sense that Mor genuinely wasn’t interested in him romantically? I like Azriel and Gwyn, but some people think she might be evil since his shadows play with her. People bring up that his shadows hide from Elain and they do with Mor as well, so they’re meant to be together. I really want Elain and Lucien together. I just don’t like the idea of Elriel. What do you personally think? Do you think Azriel purposely self sabotages/goes after ladies he knows he can’t or won’t be able to have? I’m sorry if I cause any trouble, I don’t mean to!💜
you didn't cause any trouble, and I'm not afraid to say with my whole fucking chest that I HATE ELRIEL. everyone is entitled to their own choices and ships and whatnot but there's not one single az/elain idea or theory or trope that could make me like it.
breakdown below the cut because the elriel stans out there don't deserve to have their day ruined by my lil opinion lol. however, don't open it if you're curious but stan elriel because it'll just make you mad.
I like elain with lucien, I think they'd be perfect for one another. elain has always been caged and babied by her sisters for being a soft girl, she needs some freedom. she's proven she's not some breakable little object, she deserves to have a life of her own. she deserves to be free from that cage and to see the world. lucien can take her to do that, he's a courtier, he has friends all over and would be such a good guide. lucien deserves some light in his life, he's spent his whole life stuck and fighting, he and elain could just be happy together.
az and gywn is okay. if it was between gywn and elain, my obvious choice is gwyn. solidly, I am still waiting for a love interest for him other than eris that actually viable and matches him so perfectly.
anyways.
elriel makes me sick for numerous reasons. first of all, it's toxic. that whole "the girl who never got to choose and the boy who never got picked" thing. ew. ew ew ew. azriel would spend his entire life then feeling like he was constantly having to keep on proving he was good enough to be picked, and he's already fragile enough like that as it is. elain would end up feeling stuck, like she just chose the first person who as there, and they'd end up hating one another anyway.
also, azriel treats every other woman like a strong, powerful warrior. he treats elain like she needs sheltering and protection. he canon does this, all the way through ACOSF. he treats her like a child. let's just leave that there.
next, as you said, his shadows hide from her. a part of himself, the darkness he used to survive won't go near her. how could he bear any part of his soul to her when the most obvious part won't even be shown? he'd never be able to truly be himself. gwyn has her own troubles, her own trauma, and they'd heal together.
also, three sisters for three brothers is sickening. the elriel ship makes azriel into some toxic man who feels like he's entitled to women? if they got together based on that philosophy it would quite literally undo every single part of his character development. attacking for mor's honour? "be careful how you speak about my high lady"? "you just passed the blood rite qualifier"? all that peak feminism undone because suddenly azriel feels like he's owed some pussy. no fucking way.
lastly, if elain didn't end up with lucien, what's the fucking point of the mating bond being there anyway? it's served NO plot point so far unless they end up being mates. the whole "maybe the cauldron made a mistake" thing could have happened without it. az could have just been "maybe the bond just hasn't snapped yet". like? if they don't end up together, it's just a useless plot thread? sarah don't do that to us.
now, onto this whole mor and az thing. personally, I don't see it. I can understand where that has come from, but I don't see it. I just don't think they're at all equal or alike, and considering the other mating pairs and their similarities, it wouldn't make sense. basically, I just don't think so. I think he just hyper fixated because deep down he knows he can never have her and always goes for unattainable love because he's always felt like love was just outside of his reach. he's always wanted it and never had it (childhood trauma, not cass and rhys), and so he's permanently looking for where he can't have love, not where he can.
so, yeah, that's my breakdown, lol.
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Pulling Your Strings and Pushing Your Buttons (Gwynriel Oneshot)
Masterlist // AO3
Summary: Six months have passed since Gwyn and Azriel made up their friendship after she found out about the necklace. Despite the blowout argument that ensued and Gwyn's insistence that he both buy her something for just her and apologize to Elain, their friendship has never been stronger.
But, Gwyn is tiring of dancing circles around Azriel and with advice from Nesta, she begins to scheme.
A/N: Should I be writing a gwynriel one-shot while still being in progress for my Elucien chaptered fic? Ehhhhhh... I'll let you decide. This is just a fun little fic I have always wanted to write, nothing new or groundbreaking happening here-- just fluffy gwynriel realness. Also, I am tired of reading the necklace plotline so that is why that is so far in the past of this fic. Lols. Lastly, this is literally just fluff, so Gwyn's past is very lightly mentioned btw.
Word Count: 6129
Warnings: Smut, Pure Self-Indulgence
If Gwyneth Berdara was anything, it was persistent, stubborn some would even say. She blew out her breath rapidly as she dodged yet another one of Nesta's kicks. Gods, Nesta could get her leg up there-- a fact Cassian loved to make ridiculous innuendos about that would always turn Gwyn into a color that matched her hair.
Gwyn threw her fist out desperately and managed to catch Nesta's shoulder with her blow, but this maneuver left her center completely defenseless. Before Gwyn could even think, Nesta's right fist, the one unaffected by her jab to the shoulder, connected with Gwyn's abdomen. Since Gwyn wasn't one to give up, she desperately sent out her fist again and it barely skimmed Nesta's jaw before Nesta landed her killing blow-- a sweep to her feet that knocked her off balance and onto the mat below.
With the wind knocked out of her, it was all too easy for Nesta to pounce and lock Gwyn down in defeat. As cheers went up among the surrounding crowd at the spar, Nesta leaned down, smirking. "C'mon Gwyn, just gonna let me win like that?"
Gwyn huffed out a laugh and shoved Nesta off of her, as she cackled in victory, raising her fists above her head. "Shut up, Nesta. I knew you needed a win after I handed you your ass yesterday in knife-throwing," Gwyn taunted in return. "Ooo Gwynie! You're really getting a mouth on you. Spending too much time around Cass?" Nesta giggled. She continued to lay on the mat to catch her breath as Nesta got up in search of some water and a victorious high-five from her mate.
Gwyn's hair had been pulled up into a braid when she began her fight, but now much of her hair hung loose and stuck to her sweaty neck and brow. Her leathers were now soaked with sweat and Gwyn knew she was in desperate need of a bath. As Gwyn debated taking a nap on her mat, a scarred hand appeared above her, the last to leave the ring and first to offer her a helping hand.
"Rookie move, Berdara," the rumbling voice of Azriel only sounded slightly disgruntled and held much more teasing. "You know not to leave your center open like that when you strike. Cassian must've taught you that."
"As I recall, the only one who has been sparring with me these past few nights has been you. Maybe I got rusty." Gwyn rebutted, taking his hand as he hauled her up to a standing position like she weighed nothing. She had decided long ago that she would just simply never get used to all that was Azriel-- the feel of his hand in hers, how freely he allowed her to touch those hands, the size of him, or how despite her own height, she felt dwarfed besides him. It was all so much for her, but she tried her best to keep her mind focused.
As Azriel looked her up and down to check for injuries, Gwyn tried her best to hide her blush at his caring gaze. This gaze always seemed rather analytical when he was checking her over for injuries(a common occurrence), but it still made Gwyn flush to have his sole attention on her. This flush spread as a few of his shadows rather obviously swirled around her to continue a search for any pain.
As the shadows reported back to Azriel that she was, in fact, fine, he released a breath. "Gwyn... that would be a killing blow in a real fight. You fought well, but we will go over that tonight to make sure it doesn't happen again." One of his shadows remained on Gwyn's shoulder-- her favorite one, not that she'd ever tell the others. She wouldn't want to hurt their feelings.
She leaned over and whispered conspiratorially to it, knowing full-well Azriel could hear, "Look, kitten, he's mother-henning again. How should I tell him Nesta, Emerie, and I are having a sleepover tonight and we will not be sparring together?" Azriel gave her an incredulous look. "Did you just call my shadow kitten?" Gwyn grinned at him. "I'm afraid to ask," he continued," But I have to know, is kitten a name you gave it... or a term of endearment?"
"Kitten isn't a name, Az!" She huffed at him as if he should know. "His name is Barry. Kitten is what I call all the ones I'm fond of!" His cheeks tinted slightly pink, and Gwyn couldn't help but take great pleasure in ruffling his feathers a bit. He tilted his head slightly, and Gwyn realized his shadows were whispering to him. "What secrets did they just divulge?" She demanded.
Although he was the spymaster of the night court, a feared male in every land, he managed to nervously shout out, "Nothing!" Gwyn's grin widened. "That was a horrible lie! Now you must tell me what they said!" His blush got deeper as he frowned but gave in. He was always so bad at telling Gwyn no. "They said that they hope you're fond of all of them," Azriel cocked his head to the side again in annoyance, "They are actually all trying to argue over which of them you are most fond of."
Gwyn grinned gleefully, "Well, they should know that I am actually most fond of their master." As Gwyn skipped away from their conversation, she couldn't help but feel all too pleased at the blush she had drawn from Azriel and the blush that had remained as she left to get water. Her own redness and heart rate betrayed her pride, but she reveled in the flirtations all the same.
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Hours later as Emerie, Nesta, and Gwyn all giggled themselves into madness, Nesta recalled their conversation from her perspective. "Gods, Gwyn! I swear I have never seen Azriel turn that red! Did you flash him or something?"
Gwyn grinned as she told them about how she had simply told Azriel she was fond of him. "He must be totally gone for you to look like that after such a simple admission. Are you sure you didn't just up and proposition him with sex?" Emerie cut in. "No!" Gwyn squealed, "I think I just surprised him. I am sure he doesn't feel that strongly for me. If he did, he would've done something about it by now, right?"
At that, Nesta made a face. "Gwyn," she began delicately, "You already know about his history with Mor and Elain. I don't mean to deter you, but there is a good chance he would rather drink poison than make a first move--especially with all your... history."
Gwyn winced at the reminder of the entire necklace fiasco. She had been so excited to receive such a beautiful gift for the winter solstice. All that joy lasted about a week before it came crashing down when Elain spotted her wearing it at a gathering at the House of Wind and then stormed out of the room with Azriel in tow. Elain hadn't meant to hurt Gwyn, but her scathing yells at Azriel had echoed through the house, meaning everyone immediately knew that Gwyn was wearing a necklace not meant for her.
She had ripped the necklace off her own neck and hurled it over the balcony. When Elain came back with a particularly miserable-looking Azriel, Gwyn had taken her turn to rip into him. Once they had been alone, he was all but on his knees begging desperately for forgiveness. They had come up with a deal-- he would properly apologize to Elain, and if he really wanted to gift Gwyn something, then he would get her a present just for her. That was six months ago and he had yet to fulfill the second half of that promise-- luckily his apology to Elain had gone well and there was peace between them now, though.
Her and Azriel's friendship had picked back up after a little groveling, and so Gwyn hadn't brought up her gift and often wondered if that meant he didn't want to get her one after all. Gwyn shook that thought away and fixed Nesta and Emerie with a pointed look, "Then what do you suggest I do? I can't make the first move. Not after everything with Elain and especially if I am not sure. Is there a mutual move option? Can we both make a move?"
Their expressions turned into pure feline delight at that which worried Gwyn. "Our sweet, sweet Gwyneth. I think it is time you learned the art of seduction," Nesta replied. Gwyn blanched, "I am not seductive in the slightest, Nesta. Even if Azriel maybe had romantic feelings for me, there's no way he sees me like that."
Emerie glared at her in what would be an intimidating way if not for the fuzzy pink pajamas she was wearing that matched the blanket wrapped around her she had requested from the house. "Gwyn, do not even! You are stunning. I can watch you talk with Azriel for 10 seconds and I know he sees you that way." Gwyn wasn't convinced.
"Look," Nesta began, "Don't do anything you are not comfortable with. If you don't want to feel that way or present yourself that way, then don't. You could always just tell him how you feel. However, this isn't suggesting you be like me and Cass-- fucking before we ever admitted our feelings. But, this could help draw you both out to perform this mutual move. It could give both of you guys a little encouragement. Azriel doesn't fully know what it is like to be desired, maybe showing him could help if you really are set on not making that first move."
Gwyn had spent the past few months with counselors in the library and her training had helped extensively with the traumas she held. While she wasn't ready for sex and her sisters knew that, she also knew the heat she felt when Azriel was around. She had even grown accustomed to pleasuring herself, often to thoughts of Azriel and all he could draw out of her. She wanted him. Not just for his body, but for him.
Resolved, Gwyn steeled her gaze and straightened her shoulders. "What do I have to do?"
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Nesta's tips about her seduction involved their midnight sparring sessions. While Gwyn initially rejected the idea of tainting their midnight ventures, Nesta's smirk when she mentioned Azriel sweaty and frustrated was enough to have her rethink all of her morals. So Gwyn agreed to enact her plan while training.
Step One. Gwyn had never been one to show much skin. With her past and her current standing as a priestess, even the leathers had been a bit much initially. So her first task had involved the help of Nesta's wardrobe. As Gwyn walked out onto the roof, she felt a little silly in the loose pants and cropped tank top Nesta had provided for her. The tank top stuck to her like a second skin, but luckily held enough padding to hide her breasts a little. Her midriff was on display and as were her arms, though. The linen pants were far more forgiving as they hung pretty loosely and admittedly felt pretty nice for the warm summer evening.
Azriel arrived just at midnight, as usual. Unusally, Gwyn had arrived early in order to begin a new stretching routine Nesta had insisted would display her curves perfectly. As Gwyn went through the moves she had recently learned, she took too much satisfaction in hearing Azriel's intake of breath as he finally spotted her. A few shadows immediately left him and zoomed over to wrap around her arms and legs as she folded herself over with her chest protruding up to the sky, leaving her exposed abdomen and breasts in a perfect position for Azriel to openly gawk at.
First step: Complete.
After exchanging pleasantries with a rather tense Azriel, Gwyn insisted they got to sparring to go over the mistakes she had made in her fight with Nesta. It was time to put Step Two into action. While Gwyn refused to dumb herself down for the sake of seduction, she did genuinely need help learning how to remain defensive when she did decide to take the offensive approach. This was a common weakness for Gwyn, and one she planned to finally take advantage of. If it won't help her in a fight, it may as well do something for her romantically, she reasoned.
As Azriel led her through the motions of throwing a punch while moving your other arm down protectively, Gwyn allowed herself to be more vocal as she threw her punches. She grunted as she extended her arm and groaned when she knew she had messed up. She could see Azriel's face progressively getting redder and redder, and she hadn't even done the worst of it yet.
"Let me try on you, Az. You'll be my real opponent soon enough and I need to know how to do this against a real person," she requested. "Fine, yeah let's get to it," He answered gruffly. "I won't fight back yet. Just use me as the dummy for now and I'll continue to correct you as we go."
Gwyn smirked and thought to herself, Yes, you are a dummy. As if he could read her thoughts, Azriel rolled his eyes but got into stance. Gwyn began to slowly map out what her punches should look like against him. At this stage, she still wasn't fully hitting him, just slowly moving her body in the angles and steps he taught her and he would move in response to show her what would happen.
"There," Azriel pointed, "That's where your elbow drops. You have to keep it up or I could just--," and then he mimicked punching her in her stomach. Gwyn groaned again, finally ready to really get into step two of Nesta's plan. "Again."
Gwyn put up her stance again, and went to slowly let her fist connect with his shoulder in a mock punch. She felt her other elbow drop slightly again, but didn't stop it. As Azriel began to correct her again, she allowed her hand to remain on his shoulder. "C'mon, Berdara. Get that elbow up. What's going on with you?" His gaze was dipped in a bit of concern now.
Gwyn rubbed his shoulder with her hand that still remained there as she looked up at him through her lashes, a trick taught to her by Emerie. "I guess I'm just distracted, Az. I'm sorry. I'll get it I promise. That hit to my abdomen yesterday really did hurt-- it just knocks the breath out of you, huh?" At the mention of the abdomen area, Gwyn let her fingers slowly trace down Azriel's body, scraping her nails against his own abs. "Do you even feel hits here?" She asked breathlessly as she was reminded with a hands-on example of how rock hard he was everywhere.
She heard Azriel audibly gulp as she kept her hand pressed against him. "I feel everything, yeah," he gasped out. Gwyn felt a bit like she was on fire but she took it one step further, "Everything, huh?" She slowly raised her other hand to rest against his stomach and then slowly dragged her fingernails up the area, over his pectorals, and up around his neck. He visibly shivered and Gwyn felt triumph at the reaction she had drawn from him. She saw his eyes darken with desire as his pupils overtook the comforting brown shade she so loved. His scent Gwyn found herself addicted to of fresh rain and burning embers turned spicier with musk, and Gwyn realized with a start that she had well and truly turned on the fearsome Shadowsinger of the Night Court.
Gwyn stepped back slightly, then. Tease him, the voice of Nesta echoed through her mind, Don't give up on the game in the first round. "Well," Gwyn began as she backed away and began gathering her things, "I think part of my distraction must be exhaustion, so I will see you in the morning because I am going to go ahead and turn in. Night!" Before she could lose her courage, she raced up to Azriel and kissed him goodnight on his cheek.
As she escaped to her dormitory in the library, the last thing she saw was a dumbstruck Azriel-- turned on, red, and lightly touching his check where her lips had branded him.
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Training the next morning had been tense, as both of them could barely look at each other while still reeling from their desire the night before. Thankfully, Gwyn managed to escape training without running into him. As Emerie had decided that the next phase of her seduction should include literally running into him under much different circumstances. Nesta had helped work out the whole plan.
Gwyn would claim she was staying at the House of Wind that night for another sleepover with Nesta and Emerie. It was a little soon since their most recent one, but they all hung out so often no one really questioned it. Her sisters would dress her in a ridiculous nightgown that was made for the purpose of being taken off, not to sleep in, and then she would prance around until she happened to run into Azriel. After that point, their plan's extensions rested fully on Azriel's willingness.
That night, Nesta and Emerie outfitting her into a fitted tank top that fluttered out at the bottom with thin straps and lace detailing around the edges of the bodice. The whole set was obviously a deep blue, Azriel's blue. The shorts paired with it were practically underwear with how much of Gwyn's ass was in view, but she couldn't deny the satisfaction she felt upon seeing herself in the mirror and feeling comfortable with being thought of as sexy. Just a year ago, being in a garment like these would have made her want to crawl out of her skin-- now she felt empowered.
Nesta and Emerie squealed like teenage girls as she spun before them. "If Azriel lost his composure at a tank top, he is going to drop dead when he sees you in this. Gwyn you are one sexy bitch and Emerie you are an evil genius," Nesta praised. Soon after, Gwyn was pushed out of the room and into the hallway. Gwyn's first stop would be the kitchens, she decided.
As Gwyn wandered and wandered, she progressively became more and more hopeless. Where could this oblivious Shadowsinger be hiding around here? As Gwyn rounded the corner towards the library one last time, ready to throw in the towel, her face smashed directly into the chest she had been feeling up the night before. "Azriel!" she exclaimed.
"Gwyn?" He scrunched his eyebrows in confusion. Then taking her state of undress and skin on display a more startled, "Gwyn!" left his mouth. "What are you--?" His breath caught as he continued to ogle her. Here was the tricky part for Gwyn. Lying to the Spymaster was never easy, but she was counting on his discombobulation to aid her.
"Nesta and Emerie went to sleep, but I still feel wide awake. I was hoping to find a good read in the library to keep me company at this hour. Want to join me and my potential book?" She asked hopefully. She saw a battle war in his eyes as he chose between continuing on to bed or following after a scantily clad woman who would test every thread of self-control he was currently gripping onto for dear life. "Sure..." he replied uneasily, "I can keep you company for a little bit."
As they entered the library, Gwyn took her time admiring the back before her. Gwyn shut the doors to the library, and as she turned around she caught the final moments of Azriel's shadows tattling on her to their master. Shit. He slowly turned around, a smirk spreading over his features. "Gwyn, the shadows have just informed me that you are lying. Care to defend yourself?"
Gwyn stuttered out her response, "I'm not--I just wanted a book. I don't... I don't know why they think that," she shot a sharp look to Barry. So not her favorite anymore. The shadow shrunk back behind his master, only making Azriel's smirk deepen.
"See, Gwyneth, I think I believe my shadows here which leaves me to question what you could possibly be doing wandering around at night, wearing that," Azriel slowly stalked towards her as he said those words in a low tone, practically a growl.
"Do you not like it?" Gwyn breathed out as his proximity backed her up against the doors. Azriel closed his eyes, taking a few steadying breaths before tensely admitting, "I have the opposite problem Gwyn. I like it too much. I like everything about you too much."
Everything went still for a moment while she considered his words, but his eyes never stopped roaming her body, as if she was a mirage in the desert he was scared to lose sight of. He sighed, taking her lack of response as a rejection. As he began to back away, Gwyn decided that maybe admitting her liked her could be his move. And so now it was time for her to parry.
She quickly fisted his shirt and dragged him towards her. With their lips only a few millimeters apart, Azriel quietly begged, “Don’t look at me like that, Gwyn.” Puzzlement filled her gaze, “Like what?”
He let out a sigh, “Like you want me to kiss you.” She searched his eyes and saw only raw desire there, so she arched up toward him again, offering herself up to him.
Gwyn managed to gasp out a helpless "Please, Azriel" before he was devouring her. His hands landed against the door behind her with a thud, caging her in, and she released his shirt in favor of trailing her hands up to tangle and pull on his hair. She found that with each light tug, he would release another groan, so she tugged as much as she could to elicit as many as possible. He kissed her like a man starved, finally receiving his favorite meal. His lips attacked hers hungrily and with each bite of his teeth and swipe of his tongue, Gwyn felt herself becoming more and more lost to his kisses. His muskier scent of arousal drifted to her nose, setting her sense on fire as she allowed herself to drown in Azriel, Azriel, Azriel.
For the first time in years, she yielded herself completely and wholly to another, trusting Azriel fully with her heart and her body. This surrender left her flying free as she moved against Azriel, whose hands remained fisted against the doors behind her. Gwyn separated her mouth from his, desperately sucking in air. Azriel breathed heavily against her neck for a moments reprieve before diving in there, nibbling and sucking at every sensitive spot she hadn't known existed in that zone. "Azriel," she let out, stretching out his name in a wanton moan. His hips bucked against her at the sound, but he quickly moved his body so once again, only his lips touched her.
"Azriel, please," she begged against his onslaught of pleasure that was both too much and not nearly enough. "Please touch me." Azriel reared back, a wild and feral look in his eyes. "Gwyn, I can't. If I start touching you like this, I don't know if I can stop. I just.. I need--," He was gasping in air through his rambling. His left hand came down against the door again, nearly punching a whole through it, but thankfully just leaving a large dent instead. The noise startled Gwyn a bit, but she was overall surprised to find that his outburst didn't scare her. Rather, seeing him so unraveled left her nearly melting. I did this to him.
"I'm sorry," he finally released before stepping away from her and vanishing into his shadows. Well, that wasn't what she was expecting.
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Gwyn hadn't seen Azriel the two days following their incident in the library. When she had returned to Nesta's rooms dejectedly and looking incredibly ruffled following their excursion, her sisters had been pissed, wanting to storm his rooms and set him straight. But Gwyn had calmed them down and insisted that it was okay and she'd figure it out. Now, 48 hours later, she was feeling much less optimistic.
As a hail mary, Gwyn last minute decided to head to the training ring that night to see if he would appear for their usual nightly lessons. Despite hoping he would be there, she was still incredibly surprised to find Azriel on the roof, gazing out towards the city below lost in thought. A shadow wound its way up to his ear, exposing Gwyn's presence.
Slowly, he turned around, and Gwyn was not prepared for the sight before her. Azriel looked absolutely wrecked. The bags under his eyes were heavier than usual, his hair ruffled, face unshaved, and she was pretty sure he was wearing the clothes she last saw him in. Without a second thought, Gwyn raced towards him. He shuddered as she wrapped her arms around him in a hug and then he broke. "Gwyn, I'm so sorry," he choked out, "I can't believe I would take advantage of you like that. I should have asked or checked in or anything. I am so sorry. Please forgive me. I cannot lose you. I'll do anything. I'll forget my feelings for you, I'll clean the ring for a month, take your shifts in the library, just please don't hate me."
Gwyn stepped back to look him in his eyes that were now red-rimmed and puffy. "Oh Azriel. Is that what you think? That I didn't want that or that you somehow took advantage of me? I should be the one apologizing. Nesta and Em got into my head about seducing you. I should've focused on communication. Please forgive me." His eyes full of sorrow quickly turned shocked.
"You planned that?" He asked, mouth agape. "Well technically Emerie did..." she admitted guiltily. "But I did actively participate in it which means you're innocent. You did not do anything I didn't want, Az," she added more softly. His head dropped against her shoulder as he took a steadying breath. "Even if you did plan it, you couldn't have wanted me to take it that far. Gwyn, I basically attacked you like some wild animal. Gods, look at you, I can still see marks on your neck," he despaired.
Gwyn hadn't realized the cut of her shirt allowed his markings to show on her, and she took great satisfaction in the evidence of their moment together.
"Azriel," Gwyn said, adding authority to her tone. "How about I decide what I do and do not want okay? It may surprise you but I actually enjoyed what took place in the library. It felt nice to know that I could...," Gwyn sighed and placed her fingers under Azriel's chin, lifting his gaze to meet hers. "It felt nice to know that I could trust you, Az. Trust you with my desires, my needs, my body. I wasn't scared at all because I know you'd never hurt me."
He nodded along, his eyes glazing over a bit. "I would never hurt you, Gwyn," he echoed. "I am honored to have your trust, and I hope you know that you have mine." He backed himself away from her slightly. "You should also know, Gwyn, that I have feelings for you-- romantic feelings. Feelings that stretch beyond physical attraction." He seemed to hold his breath after his confession.
Gwyn grinned at him. "Well that works out just perfectly then doesn't it Shadowsinger? Because I feel the same way." His face cracked into a wide smile, probably the biggest she had ever seen from him. Something inside her blossomed at that thought, and so she took his face in her hands and kissed him with everything she had.
Like two nights before, his reaction was immediate, practically diving onto her and fully consuming her with every brush of his mouth against hers. Despite his frenzied kissing, Gwyn couldn't help but miss the feel of his hands against her and when she looked down she noticed that he, once again, was keeping his hands off of her. She separated herself from him. "Azriel," she demanded, a fire in her eyes, "Touch me, I want it." His eyes widened slightly before he was on her again, this time desperately touching and stroking any skin he could find.
He started by trailing his hands up and down her arms, then moving around to her back to pull her impossibly closer, and finally her gave in and fully cupped her ass, hauling her against him. They both released a groan at the contact made between Gwyn's clothed center and Azriel's own erection that strained against his pants. "Azriel," Gwyn gasped out, trying to find any part of her reasonable mind. "Not here." He nodded along, stepping her straight back into his shadows. They fell through the darkness and landed in Azriel's room.
As his close friend, she had been in here a few times, but she had always pointedly ignored his bed. Now, it was all she could think about. He returned to kissing her, but Gwyn was determined as she slowly guided Azriel back and onto his bed. Once he was fully laid down across his bed with his wings strewn behind him, Gwyn stepped away. With pure male satisfaction, he sat himself up on his elbows. "If I didn't know any better, I would say you're trying to send me some signals Berdara," his expression turned more serious as he added, "I only brought us here for privacy. We do not have to do anything."
Gwyn basked in how safe she felt with him. "I'm not ready for everything yet," she said slowly. Her face turned bright red as she then hastily admitted, "But please, I need some sort of release. I am going crazy, here." Azriel's smirk widened, "I can work with that. What are you comfortable with?"
Without giving it a second thought, Gwyn already knew her answer. "Your hands. I want your hands. On me," she clarified at the end unnecessarily. This wiped the smirk off of his face as he blinked in surprise. "Y-you want my hands?" he asked incredulously.
Gwyn immediately understood his pause, so she stepped forward between his knees. He sat up from his lounged position so they were face to face. Slowly, Gwyn reached down and took his hands. "Your hands are beautiful, Az. They are warmth and safety for me. They are good," she took a heavy breath. "You are good."
Azriel swallowed thickly, taking his hands from her and cupping her face, kissing her sensually and full of emotion. He brought Gwyn down beside him, keeping their kiss up as best he could as he slowly undressed her. First removing her robes, then her bra, so that all that was left was her underwear. He fully separated from her, then, to admire her. "Beautiful," He breathed out as he kissed her neck. "Exquisite," a kiss against her collarbone. "Beyond words," a final kiss between her breasts. She arched up into him as he trailed his hand lower.
Gwyn felt a small rush of panic burst through her and she hurriedly asked, "Can we keep my underwear on for tonight?" He looked up at her through his eyelashes. "Gwyn, whatever you want tonight is yours. You tell me to stop, everything stops. Do you understand?" Gwyn closed her eyes as she felt her burst of panic dissipate. "Yes," she breathed out. "Keep going, then."
While still mouthing at her neck, his hand slipped beneath the waistband of her underwear, stroking against her folds. That simple touch had her arching her back and moaning brokenly. He pressed harder against the her apex, rubbing in small, tight circles to bring her as much pleasure as possible. And gods he was succeeding. Even her own hand had never felt this good. The texture of his scars combined with how big he was drove her absolutely crazy and felt like heaven against the most sensitive part of her.
With a kiss below her ear, Azriel whisper, "Can my girl take one of my fingers, do you think?" Gwyn wriggled her hips against him, letting out a cry at the suggestion. "Yes, please, Az. I need it!" He chuckled darkly against her before continuing his ministrations.
"I don't know, Gwyn. You said you've been trying to seduce me lately. Is that what good girls do?" Azriel interrogated her as she writhed beneath him wildly. She had no idea what he was saying, all she knew was that it made her soak his hand that continued to rub at her without actually entering her. "Answer me..." he taunted.
"No," she finally gasped out, "I was bad. I'm sorry, just please," she begged, tears pricking her eyes. "Since you asked so nicely," he said darkly as he slowly breached her entrance with his middle finger. She swore she could feel every inch of that finger and every last scar as his one singular finger stretched her. Gods, her fingers were so much tinier. The stretch of his middle finger brought a pleasant burn throughout her bones as he began pumped it in and out, being sure to curve the digit up whenever he bottomed out. As he then began dragging his palm across her clit, Gwyn heard herself begin to scream out his name. "That's right, baby," he whispered against her ear, "Let the whole house hear who you belong to, who brings you your pleasure. Tell me, who is the only one to make you feel this good?"
"You!" Gwyn sobbed out around another plea. "You are, just please!" Gwyn wasn't fully sure what she was asking for at this point. All she knew was that she was slowly unraveling before him and this was the quickest she had ever found release. With renewed vigor, Azriel curved his finger up higher and pressed his palm down harder against her. With his left hand, he then pinched one of her nipples and took the other between his teeth. She arched up into him, so close. With a pop, he released her breast from his mouth. "Gwyn, let go," he commanded before diving back down. And that was all it took for Gwyn to finally release her hold on that thread inside her. Her body bowed off the bed, both pursuing Azriel's continued torture and trying to get away as her body strained from her sensitivity. With a scream, Gwyn fully blacked out.
She came back to as Azriel pulled his digit out of her, the emptiness making her grown dejectedly. "I know, baby," he whispered soothingly. "You did so good for me," he continued his praise of her. Slowly he rolled her until she was under his blankets, then settling beside her. She curled up against his chest, too exhausted to dress herself again. "Thank you," she whispered.
He looked down at her adoringly and squeezed her body against his in a horizontal hug. As she drifted off to sleep, he whispered back, "You are everything." She fell asleep to the smell of fresh rain, burning embers, and a soft kiss to her forehead. Settled at last.
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When Gwyn awoke the next morning, fully sated and still blissed out, she was a little disappointed to find a note in Azriel’s place. It read: At River House for “urgent court business” according to Rhys. I believe I owe you a gift. Sorry it took so long to get made. Don’t get dressed. I’ll be home soon. ;)
She giggled at the Shadowsinger’s wonky face before lifting the note off of his nightstand to reveal a small velvet box. She smiled to herself as she opened it. She couldn’t help but allow a gasp to escape as she looked upon the necklace inside. A braided silver chain with a single charm— a dagger that looked suspiciously like Truthteller. She made sure to put it on quickly so he could return to her with the necklace on and only the necklace on.
Although the gift signaled an end to a chapter of their friendship, Gwyn felt giddy at all the possibilities their new relationship held. And in the quietness of her heart, she let that perfect, golden thread within her sing and glow for her future with Azriel at her side.
#pro gwynriel#gwynriel#gwyneth berdara#azriel#azriel acotar#self indulgent#fluff and smut#azriel x gwyn
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I agree with your anons and I’m ready for Gwyn to be a darker character. The darkness in her past she mentions can’t just be about fighting with her sister, that would be ridiculous.
I think Nessian and Feysand were both a nice mix of light and dark. With Elucien being full of light (literally 🤓), it would be a nice if Gwynriel is darker. Basically, Az needs to get that stick out of his ass and control himself better and Gwyn needs to tap into some inner darkness and we’re good. I feel like then the warrior + warrior pairing won’t be that repetitive.
Elucien are perfect <3. I really need their book next because it’s been YEARS. Do you think the female Fae that trapped Koschei in the lake is an ancestor of the Archerons? I feel like Elain will be the one to mop the ground with him. There’s something so funny about her saving lives and then acting like it’s no big deal lol
I always took her guilt over her past (and not wanting to make any more mistakes) to be referring to the fact that she thought she was the reason her sister was killed but if there's something else you're referring to you'll have to send me a new anon!
To some extent, I guess it all depends on which direction SJM is going with Az. He's got these issues with his self worth because of the bad things he's done (which I assume is the torturing of people and bloody revenge he's sought and enjoyed) so is she going to have him learn to not desire things like revenge and enjoy torture to ease his conscience? Or is he going to learn to accept the darkness as part of him but he's still worthy because he's still fighting for those who are innocent? I know with Nesta she had her change her behaviors in order for her to find peace but Nesta's actions were hurting her loved ones which in turn made Nesta hate herself more. Azriel's actions aren't really hurting anyone but the "bad guys". So I hope she doesn't make him a gentle version of himself in order for him to find acceptance, I sort of hope SJM helps him find acceptance with who he already is (darkness and all, though I agree that he needs to learn a bit more control in certain situations and develop better communication skills.
And if that's the case then I'd love if Gwyn had a little darkness to match his. I love how Elain and Lucien naturally match so well. And though it's been difficult for them to find their place because they don't fit the typical NC aesthetic or personality, I know they'll eventually find it in Spring or Day and that just makes sense for how they're written. I don't think Elucien's doubt that they share similar values, a disinterest in fighting as a way of life and a similar approach to things like revenge (that is to say, neither actively wants to seek out revenge against those who have wronged them). In comparison, it's not that all Gwynriels think this but I think there are some who wonder how well matched Gwyn will be to Az's darkness. Because we really don't know her take on revenge and whether she enjoys it and desires it. Or whether that would make her feel guilty for wanting to hurt someone that hurt her. Right now Gwyn doesn't seem to have any darkness so it's really difficult to see how they match on that level. It's not about her just accepting that side of him because everyone in the IC accepts that side of him. But his best match would be someone who truly understands that darkness and if Rhys doesn't fully understand it all the time (considering all that Rhys has done in his past) then you'd hope his Mate would be the one who could.
And this isn't an Anti Gwynriel stance because I absolutely think they're endgame. And I'm sure Gwyn will still be the (moon)light to Azriel's shadows and I can see all the ways they'll be adorable and playful together. But that's just a portion of who they are and it would be nice if the darkest member of the IC found a companion who got the darkness inside of him because she felt it too at times.
With both Rhys and Feyre, they play the bad guys when they have to but deep down they would rather not have to. They do it to achieve what they need to achieve in order to do what's best for their court no matter what the cost. They'll wear the mask though they wish they didn't have to. With Az, he puts on a mask of politeness but deep down he's got a lot of rage, desire for revenge and iciness to him. He's almost the reverse of Rhys. Right now I don't get anything close to rage from Gwyn and I'll be really curious to see if SJM will close that gap between she and Az, so she gets a bit more of an edge or if SJM will do a 180 on Az's personality and soften him. I think it would be more fun if they were the NC's darkest duo because they're still going to be good, they're still only out there fighting for the people who need it. But like you said, it would set them apart from the other endgame couples of the IC, maintaining a bit more of that vicious edge and not feeling guilty over it.
Elain really does deflect when people try to give her credit for things, doesn't she? 😂
"You must have been up so early!" "The twins were up earlier"
"You made this cake?!" "Nuala did the decorating though"
"I heard you made the killing blow!" "Nesta did, I just stabbed him"
I did always wonder whether the Archerons were related to the Fae warrior who confined the Weaver and Koschei. It's a bit strange we never got any other hints on it but maybe it's something she's saving for future books.
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Last anon is right!!
el*riels also come at gwynriels and say that Azriel should have gone mad over Gwyn, if they were really mates. But then- when you think about it... Azriel didn't gave a single f*ck about Elain the day she went into the cauldron. He got mad when the King of Hybern talked to Mor, even while he was injured and bleeding on the ground, but didn't do anything when the King talked to Elain. At least there was a reaction when Cassian mentioned Gwyn and Emerie- Azriel's siphons and shadows deepened. So el*riel shouldn't have a mating bond as well. I mean- the guy didn't go all protective and aggressive for his suppose mate. (This all just proves that overprotectiniss and aggressive reactions aren't signs for a mating bond! Moriel and Feylin are proof!)
spill!
Idk I kinda like when the guy gets protective and all that, but there’s always a line lol
I like how acosf handled that with cassian tbh. and lucien is on a whole other level — the strength that guy has to fight against the urges of the mating bond … uff 🥵
azriel is a very negative example and he doesn’t even have a mating bond with anyone at the moment. like he went crazy for mor, but you could also explain that by pointing out how he has been pining over her for centuries, so who knows how his brain works exactly.
and he didn’t give a fuck about elain
anyways, stan elucien and gwynriel!
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I just finished rereading ACOWAR and Lucien and Elain were so awkwardly cute after the battle.
I didn’t understand it at first, but I could see how some people could ship Elriel after he helps Feyre break into Hybern’s camp to save Elain (although it felt more like a brotherly thing (?) like I feel he’d do the same for Feyre) but I don’t understand how after the few scenes at the end with Elain and Lucien Elriel is the ship that’s taken out of this book. 🤷🏽♀️ idk I’m biased.
Also, the image of Lucien in Illaryian leathers is stuck in my head and I wish I was an artist so I could draw that lol.
RIGHT
Azriel would have saved Feyre too, and he would have saved Nesta, and he would have saved Mor. Like it wasn't necessarily romantic. He saves women all the time, my dudes. Nesta and Amren are probably the only people in the IC that Azriel hasn't saved. He saved Gwyn, Feyre, Elain, defends Mor's interests all the time, countless other women. I'm just really curious what his response was supposed to have been for people to not see it as romantic.
I mean technically, Cassian is the first one who said, "we'll get her back". But he's injured to all hell, so then Azriel says he will get her back. People act like Azriel was raging or angry or upset or something but like... he's not even the one to say they would get her back first. Cassian did, but Nesta said he wouldn't be able to because of his injuries.
And honestly, Azriel repeating "I'm getting her back" just matches with every other time someone has told him "no you can't do that" and he loses his shit. See: every time that Rhys tells Az that he can't do his spy job the way he wants. It's not about Elain. Let's examine:
From the shadows near the entrance to the tent, Azriel said, as if in some answer to unspoken debate, "I'm getting her back."
Nesta slid her gaze to the shadowsinger. Azriel's hazel eyes glowed golden in the shadows.
Nesta said, "Then you'll die."
Azriel only repeated, rage glazing in that stare, "I'm getting her back."
Az doesn't experience anger at the situation until Nesta questions his competency. And when else has Azriel experience rage? Oh right, over a snowball fight. And when Rhys and Feyre told him not to spy on Briallyn. And when Eris was a douche in acowar. When Rhys tells him not to pursue Elain.
I don't remember Lucien wearing Illyrian leathers but ummm... 🥵@ratabrasileira ????
I miss those acowar elucien moments, can’t wait til they come back!!!!
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Alright, If We’re Gonna Play with Az’s Bonus Chapter, Let’s PLAY with Az’s Bonus Chapter (Pt. 2)
Yeah baby, part 2 of a PAINSTAKING close read lol.
Azriel winnowed into shadows before she could say anything he uses the shadows to ESCAPE, they are a coping mechanism, appearing at the door to Rhys’s study a heartbeat later. His shadows whispered in his ear that Elain had gone upstairs. It’s interesting that the shadows specifically report on Elain’s whereabouts here and not earlier, as well as later not reporting on Gwyn.
Rhys sat at his desk, fury a moonless night across his face. He asked softly, “Are you out of your mind?”
Azriel donned the frozen mask he’d perfected while in his father’s dungeon. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
Rhys’s power rippled through the room like a dark cloud. “I’m talking about you, about to kiss Elain, in the middle of a hall where anyone could see you,” he snarled. “Including her mate.” It is not out of line for Rhys to acknowledge that this was stupid. If for no other reason than that it would hurt Lucien if he saw/felt them.
Azriel stiffened. Let his cold rage rise to the surface, the rage he only ever let Rhysand see, because he knew his brother could match it. Which is the mirror to something that Rhys notes in ACOFAS, that they are similar in their darkness. Because Rhys is really the only person Azriel can be himself with, completely, I think it’s important to acknowledge that this is unprecedented ground for them and specifically for Azriel. This is the first time Azriel can actually voice ANY of these thoughts out loud, and only because Rhys saw them, he did not bring this concern to Rhys himself. “What if the Cauldron was wrong?”
Rhysand blinked. “What of Mor, Az?” Also very not out of line thing to ask. Feyre is the only person Mor has really told about her sexuality, and so to Rhys and co. AND Azriel, nothing about this situation has changed in the past 500 years. The fact that Azriel is able to get over Mor, without that confirmation of her sexuality, because of Elain, is significant I think.
Azriel ignored the question. Hmm yeah, but he can’t keep ignoring this question forever, and that’s another reason he and Elain did NOT kiss in this chapter. He and his family and Mor all need closure regarding their relationship. “The Cauldron chose three sisters. Oh boy, I have a lot to say about the number three later on! Tell me how it’s possible that my two brothers are with two of those sisters, yet the third was given to another.” He had never before dared speak the words out loud. NEVER BEFORE DARED TO SPEAK THE WORDS OUT LOUD. This is the first time he’s even verbalizing these thoughts - of COURSE he doesn’t know how to navigate this conversation. This is raw emotion being spewed out right now, enhanced by the unresolved tension from his interaction with Elain.
Rhys’s face drained of color. “You believe you deserve to be her mate?” So, he says that his two brothers ARE WITH two of those sisters, which is a way to acknowledge the fact that both people in each pair accepted the bond and that it was a mutually built connection. Then he says “the third was given to another” which is actually really different. He’s saying that Elain was given to Lucien by the Cauldron, suddenly one member of that bond is not an active participant - and this is mostly true! Elain has ignored Lucien diligently, and she hinted about her lack of feelings for him when she asked Feyre why he should be entitled to her affections just because of the cauldron and whatever amends he has made. I don’t like Azriel saying that Elain is something to be given as opposed to a person to be connected to, but I’m not sure exactly what it means that he did that. ANYWAY, Rhys really does supply the word deserve, and we have evidence from earlier in this chapter that essentially proves that Azriel does not believe he deserves Elain, anyway. He is having an argument with Rhys, yes, but it almost feels like he’s arguing with himself.
Azriel scowled. “I think Lucien will never be good enough for her, and she has no interest in him anyway.” (THE ONLY TIME ELAIN’S ACTUAL FEELINGS, ACTIONS ARE CONSIDERED IN THIS DISCUSSION BTW) Also, not that he doesn’t answer Rhys’s question. For Azriel, this isn’t necessarily about what HE deserves in this moment, it’s about what Elain wants. Almost certainly, Azriel DOESN’T believe that he deserves Elain, but he sees the injustice of her being forced to accept a bond with someone for political or spiritual/societal reasons. So while to Rhys it may seem like Azriel is is putting Lucien’s claim down in order to boost his own, I actually think Azriel is trying to distinguish a different issue - Elain’s agency. This same thing happened with Mor and Eris. ABSOLUTELY THIS IS NOT ALL LIKE THAT SITUATION BECAUSE LUCIEN IS NOT ERIS!!! I am not trying to compare their behavior. BUT, Azriel would have dueled Eris for Mor’s agency regardless of whether or not she chose to be with him.
“So you’ll what?” Rhys’s voice was pure ice. “Seduce her away from him?” Rhys, I think, misinterpreting Azriel and it’s mostly not Rhys’s fault. Azriel doesn’t communicate well and is not currently communicating well. That being said, I wish he would give Azriel more benefit of the doubt.
Azriel said nothing. He hadn’t got that far with his planning, certainly not beyond the fantasies he pleasured himself to. HE HADN’T PLANNED ANYTHING, this whole conversation is just like a raw nerve.
Rhys growled, “Allow me to make one thing very clear. You are to stay away from her.” Well come on, now, Rhys, what if she doesn’t want to stay away from him? BE A FEMINIST RHYS, just add, “unless she wants to see you”!
ALSO, DID RHYS TELL FEYRE ABOUT THIS? MY MONEY IS ON NO, AND IF RHYS DIDN’T TELL HER ITS BECAUSE HE KNOWS HE’S NOT WHOLLY DOING THE RIGHT THING BY ELAIN.
“You can’t order me to do that.”
“Oh, I can, and I will. If Lucien finds out you’re pursuing her, he has every right to defend their bond as he sees fit. Including invoking the Blood Duel.” Another really big sign that this is going to play out Elriel style is the mentioning of the Blood Duel. Chekhov’s gun eh?
“That’s an Autumn Court tradition.” The battle to the death was so brutal that it was only enacted in rare cases. Despite being an outsider, Azriel had wanted to to invoke it when he’d found Mor all those years ago. Had been ready to challenge both Beron and Eris to Blood Duels and kill them both. Yes see? He would have done this regardless of Mor’s feelings toward him. Only Mor’s right to claim their heads in vengeance had kept him from doing so.
“Lucien, as Beron’s son, has the right to demand it of you.” But hey fun fact Rhys knows that Lucien is almost CERTAINLY not Beron’s son. Interesting to consider in context.
“I’ll defeat him with little effort.” Pure arrogance laced every word, but it was true. Again, Azriel is dodging Rhys’s points and is honestly being pretty immature right now, but he hasn’t actually said ANYTHING about an intention to pursue Elain with any of this. Rhys has filled in the blanks, and Azriel has responded to smaller aspects of Rhys’s macro-points with which he finds fault. I think this is also because he knows Rhys is right about a lot of the realities of the situation, but he is in the mood to be contrary right now, so he’s fighting back where he can stomach it.
“I know.” Rhys’s eyes flickered. “And your doing so will rip apart any fragile peace and alliances we have, not only with the Autumn Court, but Also with the Spring Court and Jurian and Vassa.” Rhys bared his teeth. Rhys’s motivations are based entirely on things that have nothing to do with Elain’s feelings, which is sad. But, they’re not insignificant considerations. Though come on dude you did pretty much enable Hybern’s arrival to Prythian by alienating The Spring Court with Feyre’s escape.“So you will leave Elain alone. YES, ALONE, because Elain probably is PRETTY FREAKIN LONELY If you need to fuck someone, go to a pleasure hall and pay for it, but stay away from her.” Low. Blow.
Azriel snarled softly.
“Snarl all you want.” Rhys leaned back in his chair. “But if I see you panting after her again, I’ll make you regret it.” I do think this is a really ungenerous description of what was happening downstairs with Elain. Their interaction was careful and consensual, we have painstaking detail to prove that, and it was far from panting/animalistic in action.
Rhys had rarely threatened punishment or pulled rank. It stunned Azriel enough that it knocked him from his rage. This is another person taking ANOTHER choice away from Elain. I think she may find out about Rhys doing this and I personally think she’s gonna be rightfully pissed.
Rhys jerked his chin toward the door. “Get out.”
Azriel tucked in his wings and left without another word, stalking through the house and onto the front lawn to sit in the frigid starlight. To let the frost in his veins match the air around him.
Until he felt nothing. Was again nothing at all. With Elain, he is SOMETHING. Because he feels things.
Then he flew to the House of Wind, knowing that if he slept in the riverside manor, he’d do something he regretted. He’d been so vigilant about keeping away from Elain as much as possible, Further evidence that Azriel never intended to fight Lucien or make a stink over Elain and had stayed up here to avoid her, and tonight... tonight had proved he’d been right to do so.
He aimed for the training pit, giving in to the need to work off the temptation, the rage and frustration and writhing need.
He found it occupied. His shadows had not warned him. I am not sure what it means that his shadows didn’t warn him. It could mean that Gwyn is protected from his shadows/immune to them. It could mean that his shadows wanted him to go see Gwyn - either out of a desire for Azriel to find some peace with her or out of curiosity as to who/what she is?
It was too late to bank without appearing like he was running. Azriel landed in the ring a few feet from where Gwyn practiced in the chill night, her sword glimmering like ice in the moonlight.
She stopped mid-slice, whirling to face him. “I’m sorry. I knew you all were going to the river house, so I didn’t think anyone would mind if I came up here and—“
“It’s fine. I came here to retrieve something I forgot.” The lie was smooth and cool, as he knew his face was. His shadows peered over his wings at her. They are… wary of her? They’re shy around her?
The young priestess smiled — and Azriel thought it might have been directed at his curious shadows. But she just hooked her coppery-brown hair behind an arched ear. “I was trying to cut the ribbon.” She pointed with her sword at the white ribbon, which seemed to glow silver. Some interesting language here and above (glimmering, glow etc.) to do with light, and again a juxtaposition between light and dark. But not a golden light, a colder/silver light.
“Aren’t you cold?” His breath clouded in front of him.
Gwyn shrugged. “Once you get moving, you stop noticing it.”
He nodded, silence falling. For a heartbeat, their gazes met. Gaze is definitely a romantically charged word, this is one of the tiny details that makes me unsure about the future nature of their relationship. He blocked out the bloody memory that flashed, so at odds with the Gwyn he saw before him now. I definitely do not think they are mates. I’m not closing the door on them being romantically involved, I don’t have enough evidence to do that, but I really think that if they were mates, Azriel would have known when he saw her at Sangravah.
Her head ducked, as if remembering it too. That he’d been the one who’d found her that day at Sangravah. Shades of Cassian’s reactions to Emerie’s wings having been clipped, in ACOFAS. “Happy Solstice,” she said, as much a dismissal as it was a holiday blessing.
He snorted. “Are you kicking me out?”
Gwyn’s teal eyes I have a lot to say about these teal eyes :) flashed with alarm. “No! I mean, I don’t mind sharing the ring. I just... I know you like to be alone.” Her mouth quirked to the side, crinkling the freckles on her nose. “Is that why you came up here?” I’ll talk more about this later, but there are a few small moments in the book where it seems like Gwyn might have a crush on Azriel, or some kind of special awareness/interest where he is concerned. I have seen almost no evidence that Az returns those potential feelings, except PERHAPS for the moment where he hears her screech and pays attention. But I think anyone would pay attention if someone screeched? Also he watches reverently as she cuts the ribbon, but that also feels like it would happen regardless of any romantic feelings he might have. But I don’t know for sure!
Sort of. “I forgot something.”
“At two in the morning?”
Pure amusement glittered in her stare. Better than the pain and grief he’d spied a moment before. So he offered her a crooked smile. He cares that she not be feeling pain and grief, as he does with anyone he deems good, and that is part of why he offers her the smile, as he clearly says right here. “I can’t sleep without my favorite dagger.”
“A comfort to every growing child.”
Azriel’s lips twitched. I think her irreverence matches his sense of humor quite well. He refrained from mentioning that he did indeed sleep with a dagger. Many daggers. Including one under his pillow.
“How was the party?” Her breath curled in front of her mouth, and one of his shadows darted out to dance with it before twirling back to him. Like it heard some silent music. This shadow is acting totally independent of him. She’s asking a simple question of Azriel at the moment, and he CAN’T hear the music he believes that shadow might be dancing to. Lightsinger evidence, I’d say.
“Fine,” he said, and realized a heartbeat later that it wasn’t a socially acceptable answer. “It was nice.” LOL I will say here that Azriel has to make a lot of conscious effort in this interaction. He makes himself respond in a specific way, which is not language that was used to describe his interactions with Elain earlier in the chapter. This could totally just be because he doesn’t know Gwyn that well, and certainly that’s a big part of it, but I think there’s something to be said for the fact that he is still filtering himself here with Gwyn in the quiet.
Not much better. So he asked, “Did you can the priestesses have a celebration?”
“Yes, though the service was the main highlight.”
“I see.” LOL
She angled her head, hair shining like molten metal. More glowing-type stuff “Do you sing?” I love Gwyn.
He blinked. It wasn’t everyday that people took him by surprise, but... which is great! Elain surprises him with the headache medicine in ACOFAS, Feyre surprises him with her intuition and tenderness throughout. I think this indicates that they will have a significant relationship regardless of its exact nature. “Why do you ask?”
“They call you shadowsinger. Is it because you sing?”
“I am a shadowsinger— it’s not a title that someone just made up.” It’s super-duper interesting that they actually discuss the fact that he’s a shadowsinger. When Feyre meets Azriel, she is curious, but specifically doesn’t ask follow-up questions or for expansion on the ability. Why specifically remind us here that Azriel is a shadowsinger and that Gwyn sings? If not to foreshadow something related to the ability and Gwyn?
She shrugged again, irreverently. Az narrowed his eyes, studying her. “Do you though?” She pressed. “Sing?”
Azriel couldn’t help his soft chuckle. “Yes.” I love Gwyn. She is the reason I now realize a lot of what I’ve been doing in my life is irreverence :P
She opened her mouth to ask more, but he didn’t feel like explaining. Or demonstrating, since that was surely what she’d ask next. So Az jerked his chin to the sword dangling from her hand. “Try cutting the ribbon again.” I love this so much. Maybe it is romantic, but I think that’s debatable. What’s not debatable is that it’s completely charming.
“What— with you watching?” It’s actually pretty funny that in order to avoid giving a demonstration of something that makes him vulnerable and puts Gwyn in the role of expert he flips it and makes her demonstrate vulnerability while he is the expert. Gwyn might be quite a bit braver than Azriel in some ways.
He nodded.
She considered, and he wondered if she’d say no, but Gwyn blew out a breath, steadied her feet and balance, and sliced. A beautiful, precise blow, but it didn’t sever the ribbon. SEE? Brave. I love Gwyn.
“Again,” he ordered, rubbing his hands against the cold, grateful for its bracing bite and the distraction of this impromptu lesson. Distraction is a notable word here. Azriel’s thoughts don’t really ever stray from Elain and his turmoil throughout this interaction, that’s what the word distraction tells us.
Gwyn sliced again, but the ribbon remained unyielding.
“You’re turning the blade a fraction as it comes parallel to the ground,” Azriel explained, drawing his Illyrian blade from down his back. “Watch.” He slowly demonstrated, rotating his wrist where she did. “You see how you open up right here?” He corrected his position. “Keep your wrist like that. The blade is an extension of your arm.”
Gwyn tried the movement as slowly as he had, and he watched her self-correct, fighting against the urge to open up her wrist and rotate the blade. She did it three times before she stopped falling into the bad habit. “I blame Cassian for this. He’s too busy making eyes at Nesta to notice such mistakes these days.”
Azriel laughed. “I’ll give you that.” I sense a lot of compatibility, just, again, not sure it’s romantic.
Gwyn smiled broadly. “Thank you.”
Azriel dipped his head in a sketch of a bow, something restless settling in him. Even his shadows had calmed. As if content to lounge on his shoulders and watch. This is another line that I think offers the most evidence for something significant between Gwyn and Azriel. It’s lovely that she has helped to settle something restless in him with the distraction - and I think it’s important to note that it might not have done the same thing had he encountered Emerie or another trainee on the roof. At the same time, maybe it would have. Also love that his shadows like to watch Gwyn. Lightsinger/Shadowsinger evidence! This all being said, I can’t really think of an SJM romance that is built around a comfort zone. I can think of many friendships that operate that way, but not so much with the romances. There’s usually nervousness and flutters and passion and… restlessness, somewhere in there.
But— sleep. He needed to at least attempt to get some.
“Happy Solstice,” Azriel said before aiming for the archway into the House. “Don’t stay out too much longer. You’ll freeze.”
Gwyn nodded her farewell, again facing the ribbon. A warrior sizing up an opponent, all traces of that charming irreverence gone. I love Gwyn.
Azriel entered the warmth of the stairwell, and as he descended, he could have sworn a faint, beautiful singing followed him. Could have sworn his shadows sang in answer. This feels VERY much like Lightsinger/Shadowsinger evidence. His shadows, as this chapter has demonstrated time and again, operate independently of him, and they react to Gwyn’s song. I also think it’s possible that Gwyn is sort of always singing, even when she’s not. Like she glows with song on some level, and that’s what his shadows are reacting to - because I don’t think she’d necessarily actually sing while attempting to cut the ribbon.
He slept as well as could be expected which means pretty much not at all y’all — he makes it clear he never expects to sleep well, but when Azriel returned to the River House to gather his presents before dawn, he found Elain’s necklace amid the pile. He pocketed it. Spent the rest of his day, even the blasted snowball fight, with every intention of returning it to the shop in the Palace of Thread and Jewels. How did the necklace get there??? Did Elain really put it there??? Seems like even more evidence that he assumes too much about her understanding of his feelings. Also, though, it seems really rude/OOC for Elain to do that. She gave up very quickly after he gave her a really thoughtful gift. SOMETHING’S FISHY.
But when he returned from the cabin in the mountains, he didn’t go to the market square.
Instead, he found himself at the library beneath the House of Wind, standing before Clotho as the clock chimed seven in the evening. Important to remember that this is one of the longest nights of the year, which means dusk is coming on later than it was when Nesta attended the evening service weeks/months prior- a service that started almost exactly when seven bells rang the time. It is very well possible that Azriel finds himself at the library as the evening service is happening. The one in which Gwyn sings. If she does have some kind of Lightsinger power in her, it may be that he was lured by that power instead of returning the necklace. Even if they always start at 7, he still arrives exactly at 7. The only point against this surmising that I’ve done is that Clotho led the service which Nesta attended, and yet she is here to greet Azriel. Either I’m wrong and the service is not happening at or around this time, OR the service can take place without Clotho occasionally, and this served the interest of the plot so that Az could speak with someone.
He slid the small box across her desk. “If you see Gwyn, would you give this to her?”
Clotho angled her hooded head, and her enchanted pen wrote on a piece of paper. A Solstice gift from you?
Azriel shrugged. “Don’t tell her it came from me.” Yes, it really doesn’t seem super romantic to re-gift a necklace to Gwyn. It just feels sour, if this is the start of a romance between them.
Why?
“Does she need to know? Just tell her it was a gift from Rhys.”
That would be a lie.
He avoided the urge to cross his arms, not wanting to look intimidating. He blocked out the memory that flashed— of his mother cringing before his father, the male standing with crossed arms in such a way that made his displeasure known before he opened his hateful mouth. This feels very important. We know VERY LITTLE about Azriel’s story, his past, and his family, and so I want to point out ANY and EVERY nugget we get!
“Look I...” Az searched for the words, his voice becoming quiet. “If there’s another priestess here who might appreciate it, give it to them. But I’m not taking that necklace with me when I leave.” I’m not exactly sure what it means that Azriel says this. It could be that he doesn’t want to make a thing of his potential feelings for Gwyn and so tries to deflect with this statement, both to convince Clotho and himself that it’s not about Gwyn. It could also mean that Azriel needed to be rid of the necklace, and wasn’t in the mood to fight with Clotho over an ultimately secondary (to getting rid of the necklace) impulse to give it to someone who provided him comfort and companionship at a time when he needed it.
He waited for Clotho’s pen to finish writing. Your eyes are sad, Shadowsinger.
He offered her a grim smile. “I lost the snowball fight today.” HE LOST THE FIRST SNOWBALL FIGHT IN 200 YEARS! And I’m pretty sure it wasn’t because Gwyn made him feel better the previous night. I think he lost because he is in anguish over the situation with Elain. Again, I understand that anguish shouldn’t necessarily be a romantic thing, but in SJM’s writing it often is. This is a romance series, angst is a thing, stakes are a thing. It’s not necessarily the most healthy, but it’s also not all-the-way unhealthy. He just feels strongly about Elain and there are a lot of obstacles between him and finding a way to resolve those feelings for good or bad.
I am a counselor for folks who have and are dealt/dealing with sexual, gender-based, and interpersonal violence, and if you want me to do an analysis of all of the relationships in SJM’s writing that aren’t wholly healthy, there won’t be any left over. Except for maybe Sartaq and Nesryn. they really do have their shit together. I suspend a fair amount of my disbelief and professional knowledge in reading these books because I love them and they are fictional :) Also, relationships are complicated. It’s pretty rare for me to work with a client that has a cut-and-dry, black-and-white story.
Now, in my PERSONAL NOT PROFESSIONAL experience, shit is messy, and messiness, even in real life, doesn’t always mean something isn’t worth the strife. Though absolutely abuse and assault are a whole other thing. I think it’s really good to think critically about relationship dynamics in fiction, because it’s a safe place to do great learning and reflection. I also think it’s important to consider that the rules of our reality are not necessarily the rules of the reality being written by an author. Maybe you personally find Azriel’s feelings toward Elain (as they have been expressed so far) are beyond redemption, and are unhealthy to a point where the relationship cannot be salvaged. But that is not realistically a reason that the relationship in question won’t happen. Pretty much any negative/toxic assertions that can be leveled against Elriel based on the VERY SMALL amount of first-person perspective we have in the relationship could be leveled against at least a few of SJM’s other endgame couples. Totally happy to get into this more and provide those examples :)
Clotho was smart enough to see through his deflection. She wrote, I’ll give it to Gwyneth. Tell her a friend left it for her.
He wouldn’t go so far as to call Gwyn a friend, but... “Fine. Thank you.” Not sure what this means. Maybe just that it takes Az a while to open up to people and call them friends.
Clotho’s pen moved once more. She deserves something as beautiful as this. I thank you for the joy it shall bring her.
Something sparked in Azriel’s chest, but he only nodded his thanks and left. He could picture it, though, as he ascended the stairs back to the House proper. How Gwyn’s teal eyes might light upon seeing the necklace. For whatever reason... he could see it. And here we have the most romantic evidence for Az and Gwyn as a couple. Maybe he is falling for her and that’s why he can picture her smile. I really don’t know. I think it could also be that he is happy to be able to make her happy, in recognition of the comfort she gave him the previous evening. Maybe he can picture her because of her potential lightsinger status. Thoughts?
But Azriel tucked away the thought, consciously erasing the slight smile it brought to his face. Buried the image down deep, where it glowed quietly. The image glowing, again, lightsinger-supporting language.
A thing of secret, lovely beauty. So now he is referring to Gwyn’s smile here. This is interesting, because Gwyn’s smile wouldn’t necessarily be a secret, but perhaps it is if you think of her as being hidden in the library, or that he’ll know about her smile and her receiving the necklace even though she won’t know that he’s the one who gave it to her. Or maybe he’s drop dead in love with her! Another thing that I don’t think is true given his stony attitude post-Solstice (when Gwyn is very much around) and the fact that he doesn’t seem to react viscerally to Gwyn’s kidnapping until Cassian points out that bad things could be happening to both her AND Emerie, as well as Nesta. He knows Gwyn just as well, if not better at this point, as he knew Elain when he reacted to HER kidnapping in ACOWAR. He was very riled, he was the one who noticed she was gone, he vowed almost immediately to go get her, knowing it might mean certain death (to be fair, he seems to have a bit of a death wish, BUT he’s still a pragmatist and doesn’t try to WASTE his life on things - either they’re essential to the court and/or Prythian’s wellbeing or essential to someone for whom he cares deeply.)
#azriel#azriel shadowsinger#elriel#elain archeron#rhysand#gwyn acosf#acosf#acotar theory#acosf theory#azriel bonus chapter#azriel pov#azriel x elain#lightsinger#shadowsinger
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You know what made me realise how hypocritical and dumb the cult truly are? Them shutting down arguments about our hopes of Elain leaving the nc not because we just want to see Elucien but because we want to see Elain HEAL and go out to the world and go on adventures with the band of exiles. And they say Cassian going on for a whole paragraph about how nc black drains the life out of Elain and how Sarah is basically trying to tell us through multiple characters that Elain doesn’t fit in the nc “doesn’t mean anything” when they made a bunch of PowerPoints on shitty sleeping beauty theories based on a pink dress Elain wore and claim Elriel is endgame because she wore a cobolt dress the same color of Azriel’s siphons when they first met. Like I can’t tell if that last one was supposed to be a joke or if they’re actually serious (if they are I don’t know whether to feel sorry for them or laugh at their desperation)
oh but dear anon don't you know it's misogynistic to want a female character to have the space to grow and find her place in the world? no no no! she must at all times be tied to a man somehow otherwise you're taking away her right to choose!!! 😠😤
i love elucien, i ship them not bc they're mates (tho i do like the mate trope so i don't get everyone's "need" for a rejection or whatever) but bc i see the potential they could have together. we saw glimpses of who they truly are in acotar but ever since then they've kinda been beaten down and pushed to the side bc their emotions and suffering aren't as obvious as other characters. people assume they're fine simply bc they don't say otherwise.
acotar elain and lucien are compatible af. both are social beings, elain was literally raised to be the wife of a powerful man so therefore she's good at hosting parties and the like. lucien is an emissary, meaning he has to be good with people for his job to work. he knows how to persuade them and get them to do as he wishes, much like elain.
they're both optimistic and try to see the best in the world, both are the favored child of the parent they're closest to, both have kind hearts but are absolutely snarky assholes underneath it. yes elain too, don't fight me on this. we all know she has a secret side none of her family has seen yet.
as for the lines about elain not fitting in from cassian and nesta's povs.... while i could somewhat understand their reasoning that cassian doesn't know her (even tho he's probably the most aware character in this series. there's countless displays of him being able to read people and giving them exactly what they need), nesta grew up with her. nesta was her closest companion before they were made. nesta would know if her sister doesn't quite fit, even if their relationship is strained.
another point, they say these characters don't know elain but act like feyre does? you really think feyre of all people knows what's best for elain? or that she knows azriel that well after 2 months?? i have to laugh.
sarah isn't some amateur writer, she's published 15 books now, she knows what she's doing when she chooses which words to use. it's not just a "oh teehee this is random and has absolutely no meaning :)" it's her, likely, trying to tell us things about her characters without actually telling us. it's truly not that hard. maybe elain will find her place within the night court but as it stands right now, she's a fish out of water.
ohhh i just know it hurt when sjm shut down their sleeping beauty theories lmao 😭 i will give them this: elain is kind of in a slumber at the moment. she's not truly living, just existing. but elain, someone who up until this point has been characterized as a human flower doesn't need shadows or darkness or death to open up. she needs sunshine. something i almost never see people bring up is how in acowar elain's mind is literally described as a slumbering garden, waiting for light to help it grow. elain is a flower, she needs the light of her mate.
about elain wearing cobalt...... they do realize that vassa wore a cobalt jacket in acosf right? is she his endgame now?? as much as pre-acosf me wanted that, i can accept that that's not the route she's taking lol. not to mention that gwyn wears blue, too. it's not that deep.
#colors CAN have meaning like the whole elain in black thing#but i dont think its really something sarah does a whole lot of#maybe im wrong but i dont see sarah giving us e/riel 'hints' in acomaf when she wrote that with an elucien endgame in mind#antielriel#anti e/riel#asks#anonymous
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