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theradioghost · 5 years

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some recs for my podcast mutuals who are burnt out on horror & sad plot stuff

aka I’ve been seeing a few flavors of people exhausted by several of the most popular podcasts around here being pretty dark right now & I have attempted to put together a tasting menu of some stuff I think might help alleviate that burnout (& which also deserves some more love)

1. I'm okay with stuff that’s still on the dark or macabre side, I'd just like something that isn’t 100% characters I care about suffering horribly all the time, maybe some laughs in there

The Beef and Dairy Network: Like a seriously disturbing body horror podcast, except British satirical comedy! About cows! You kind of have to listen to it to get what’s going on tbqh it’s nearly impossible to explain but if you like horror and are just tired of being depressed about it maybe try this one. NOT for the easily nauseated.

Wooden Overcoats: black comedy sitcom about two rival funeral homes on a small island, one run by The Most Perfect Man On Earth (tm) and the other run by two misanthropic twins with a knack for disaster (and their hypercompetent assistant (and a mouse who wants to be an author)). this one is about watching the protagonist suffer horribly all the time but like, this time it’s usually a lot funnier and honestly he deserves it

Death by Dying: (so far very short) dark comedy about the resident obituary writer of idyllic Crestfall, Idaho, who sets out to tell the stories of how the town’s residents died and ends up uncovering a lot of other things, like conspiracies, and man-eating cats, and a poet’s vanishing childhood home, and what his friend the Angel of Death isn’t telling him about what’s in the dark woods. has very strong ASOUE or Pushing Daisies vibes, that sort of dark whimsy and really distinct narrative voice

Arden: “true crime” comedy-ish mystery podcast feat. two of the best bickering hosts anywhere and a whole third host called homoerotic tension, trying to solve a decade-old Hollywood mystery. secretly a shakespeare adaptation. one of the hosts is michelle agresti. an airline run by killer robots is involved, somehow. it’s a perfect storm

2. I’m good with some plot and higher stakes, but I need something more kind and hopeful right now:

Middle:Below: 10-minute episodes about a man who travels between the worlds of the living and the dead to solve the problems of restless ghosts, and the three friends he does it with -- a ghost, a cat, and a writer. their tagline is “remember: bad things will happen.” this is basically a lie, this show is extremely sweet

Alba Salix: high fantasy medical workplace comedy about hospital staff in a fairytale-ish kingdom, namely one grouchy witch, one distracted fairy, and one extremely disgruntled teenager sentenced to community service. also comes with the miniseries The Axe And Crown, which is about a gay troll bartender, his clueless landlord, and his bombastic niece, and also is one of the most heartfelt touching pieces of audio fiction I’ve ever heard?

Dark Ages: also a high fantasy workplace comedy, but in this one the dysfunctional cast work at a magical natural history museum, which thanks to recent events is now hosting the mythical Dark Lord on top of all the usual problems caused by their complete incompetency.

Solutions to Problems: a sci-fi relationship advice show feat. human host Janet and alien host Loaf. also feat. banter, illegal time travel, what to do when the AI that controls the air you breathe is your on-again-off-again girlfriend, and how to avoid your many spouses when they insist you need to come back to the homeworld and spend some time with your spawn.

Victoriocity: steampunk buddy-comedy mystery show, in which misanthropic detective Archibald Fleet (aka Tom Crowley but he’s grouchy this time) and intrepid newbie journalist Clara Entwhistle (aka an absolute ray of sunshine) uncover some Secret Plots within the government of a very different victorian london. if you like the “opposing personalities come to care deeply about one another as friends” trope this one is for you

Inn Between: not an actual play, but a show about the developing relationships of a party of RPG-esque adventurers as they rest at the inn between campaigns. you don’t see the adventures, just the crew growing closer and learning about one another in their moments of peace.

The Strange Case of Starship Iris: sci-fi adventure about a stranded biologist and a ragtag crew of smugglers who set out to resist an authoritarian government, solve a mystery, and prevent a second human-alien war. as far as I can tell their plan for accomplishing this is to be as funny, gay, and adorable as possible, and to dismantle oppressive systems via the power of found family tropes. also via the power of linguistics.

3. just give me the fluffiest, funniest, sweetest, most relaxed, lowest-stakes thing you have:

Everything is Alive: meditative, deeply touching show where Guy From Public Radio holds interviews with inanimate objects. the interviews are super genuine and beautiful and I think they’re improvised, or at least they sound very natural? for people who want to be profoundly moved by a can of generic brand cola (you may not know but you are one of those people)

Standard Docking Procedure: a self-described “hopepunk” scifi sitcom about a group of employees on a space station, dealing with the little daily misadventures of difficult tourists, traffic control disasters, nonexistent love lives, and each other. Has an explicitly stated purpose of staying happy, lighthearted, and comforting.

Love and Luck: tied for absolute most heartwarming audio drama in existence. the story of the relationship between two Australian men, told through voicemail messages, as they fall in love, start a cafe, build a supportive and loving local queer community of close-knit friends and chosen family who help one another through thick and thin, and also find out that they can do magic apparently (IMPORTANT NOTE: there are some darker events and themes tackled in the plot starting around the latter half of the first season, but the focus of the story itself is always on how people support and help one another through trauma and difficulty, and the explicitly stated core premise of the show is that every character will have a happy ending and be okay.)

Quid Pro Euro: Look Around You-esque satire of old 80s and 90s instructional tapes where Felix Trench tells you what the European Union will look like in the far-off year of 2000. I don’t know anything about the European Union but I cackle like a witch when I listen to this

The Cryptonaturalist: I know you’ve seen his tweets. well it’s that but a podcast. just a man with an extremely nice voice talking about fantastical creatures like salamanders that swim through parking lot asphalt or foxes that roam the shelves of libraries at night. in between he reads poetry and generally talks about nature in the most beautiful way you could imagine. this show feels like a peaceful walk in the woods.

The Hidden Almanac: a podcast made 90% out of gentle fantasy worldbuilding, as a somewhat grumpy man in a plague doctor mask tells you about the history of his world and distributes gardening advice. has an immense archive of four-minute long episodes. it’s best to listen in order, because there is continuity, and be aware that about the first year or so has dropped off most feeds. written and performed by much-loved fantasy writer and artist Ursula Vernon and her husband Kevin.

Startripper!!: the other forerunner for most heartwarming audio drama in existence. seriously, you cannot imagine how much joy Startripper!! will bring into your life. it’s just the travelogue of one little alien with a heart full of enthusiasm and love setting out to see the universe and making friends along the way with just about everyone he meets, including his extremely loveable spaceship AI. I really mean it. listen to this show if you listen to nothing else.

Cabin Pressure: BBC radio workplace comedy about the dysfunctional crew of the world’s smallest airline. not only utterly hilarious but will tug on your heartstrings more than you could possibly imagine (this does not look at first like a found family story but it so very much is). warning for bendytoots cucumberpatch but like, in the one and only valid role he’s ever played. you definitely cannot find this show by searching its name on the Internet Archive.

#HEY DO YOURSELVES A SELF CARE! LISTEN TO SOME THINGS THAT ARE NICE! I LOVE YOU #bobbie recommends things #my posts #podcast recs

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archangelsunited · 3 years

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WIP Ask Game: Asoue- Soulmates/Fix-it?

Well, this is part of something I guess

It was going to be awkward. The talk was always going to be slightly awkward. Monty had been giving the talk to people for years. It seemed to be a consistent part of his life. He had it down to a science. It was almost bloodlessly simple these days to ignore the awkwardness in the air while he talked to a prospective partner or “concerned” friend.

It wasn’t a bit different with a soulmate.

The tall gangly man, who was a bit too young, not underage, just young, was standing at his doorstep like he was not rocking the foundations of Monty’s world. The sun was rising behind him, giving him a rich glow around him. The handshake that was meant to be quick, but professional, turned into a fierce clutch on both sides.

The young man, Gustav, looked excited. He had a wide grin, teeth gleaming. Happiness seemed to radiate off of him in waves. He was nearly vibrating with how pleased to meet Monty, not his new boss, but Monty his soulmate.

The bond though, the bond let Monty feel how happy Gustav was to find him. How lucky Gustav felt. Monty felt a wave of fierce protectiveness come out of nowhere. A sense of rightness and a sense of well-being.

This, this is my compliment.

A screech of an iguana jolted Monty and Gustav out of their mutual stand still. They let go of each other’s hands with a bit of an effort. Monty shoved his hands in his pockets, while Gustav laughed and rubbed the back of his head. The laugh was so wonderful, so happy, that it forced a chuckle out of Monty as well.

Monty gestured into his house, letting Gustav drag in a beat up suitcase into the foyer.

“I would understand if you wanted to stop and speak and discuss this extraordinary occurrence, but I have many reptiles and the day only has so many hours! Perhaps we can get to work and have the discussion with some take out Chinese tonight?” Monty spoke quickly, with a grin on his face. With Gustav’s agreement, Monty lead him to the reptile room.

Monty was prepared to keep Gustav as an assistant even if he was the most incompetent fool on the planet. What he was not prepared for was the intense focus and pointed questions on his work and the reptile and amphibian upkeep. He was considerate of his work. Gustav admitted he did not understand all of Monty’s work, but he was eager to learn and to assist. Monty laid out the duties and expectations he had for an assistant, and Gustav accepted them eagerly.

By the time they both sat down for Chinese, Monty had forgotten about the talk and the awkward air that existed during talks in the past. He was just rolling in a sense of happiness and contentment, very willing to exist in this time, in this moment, forever.

Which was why it was a surprise when Gustav brought it up first.

“We should probably go over expectations and what we want out of this relationship.” Gustav stated, looking down at his eggroll. Monty could feel the uncertainty and determination through the bond. Monty leaned back in his chair and laced his fingers together over his stomach. He let Gustav feel how seriously and respectfully he was taking the conversation.

Gustav swallowed and looked up at Monty.

“Are there any limits I should be aware of in the relationship?”

Ah, Monty thought, he had heard. Monty was slightly impressed. He would think that Gustav wouldn’t be as excited to be his soulmate if he knew.

“I am not sexually attracted to other people.” Monty smiled. “But I take it you already knew that?”

Gustav nodded, a bit embarrassed. He pressed on though.

“I don’t really understand, but I don’t want to make you uncomfortable. I am very tactile?” Gustav sort of stammered out.

Monty saw where the misunderstanding was.

“I am very amiable to affectionate touching.” A huge sigh of relief seemed to burst through Gustav. “I, myself, show affection through hugs and the squeezing of shoulders and other such physical affirmations, it is touch meant for sexual gratification I am not fond of. I take it affectionate touching is your main mode of communication?”

Gustav nodded.

Monty tilted his head. He felt along the bond. It was not as elegant as he would one day examine it. Monty did the mental equivalent of a two year old walking on a balance beam. He felt Gustav’s pride and his determination. Monty was surprised to find how devoted Gustav was to a relationship less than a day old. He was not seeking to change Monty, nor was he trying to push any boundaries. Monty felt an uncertainty, an internal debate occurring within Gustav.

“Be honest with me, Gustav.” Monty demanded quietly, “I am not going to judge you for what you ask.”

Gustav swallowed.

“I would like to know you- and I very much want this to be an equal relationship- but I need to know if you expect monogamy.” Gustav was quiet, seemingly ashamed.

Monty bristled a bit, and then slowly relaxed- pushing comfort along the bond.

“Are you worried I will not be enough?” Monty asked, swallowing his pride.

“NO!” Gustav nearly came out of his seat, grabbing Monty’s hand.

“I will very gladly never take a lover for the rest of my days.” Gustav swore. “But I need to know if that is an expectation. My parents were lovers, but not soulmates. My mother’s soulmate didn’t like touch at all. My father’s soulmate was married to another woman. Not everyone’s relationship with their soulmate looks the same.”

Monty relaxed a bit at the reassurance.

“Give me a moment to ponder this, please.” Monty linked his fingers with Gustav’s.

Monty closed his eyes and instead of feeling along the bond, he immersed himself in the bond. He let himself feel Gustav.

When he opened his eyes, he saw brown eyes staring very intently into his.

“I do not doubt you.” Monty said firmly, and he did not. How wonderful it was to know exactly what his soulmate felt and where his focus was. “I would appreciate it if you let us get used to each other before bringing another person into this. I have no issue with sexual encounters, but I would like to discuss anything greater than that.”

Gustav grinned at him.

#@prankprincess #soulmates #asoue #Dr. Montgomery Montgomery #gustav sebald

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badlydrawndrawnings · 4 years

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*re-watches netflix asoue*

*Thinks about Gregor and Ike, and see how they’re missing a H*

*Thinks about how H could be Hector*

*’Oh yeah, Hector is not a VFD member in the Netflix show. Welp that can’t work in the Netflix show’*

*Suddenly realizes age lifts affect more characters, not just Kit*

*Spots some Barry Sonnenfeld cameos I didn’t see before*

*‘Hey wait a minute! [RETRACTED]’*

It’s a creator cameo, but Ike is played by Barry Sonnenfeld. Netflix!Ike is one of the older VFD members, meaning he got a major age lift upward (using Sonnenfeld’s age as a ballpark range), because there’s a chance Book!Ike -as with most members in the SBG- are in the same range, give or take several years. Gregor is dead, but he too got an age lift upward since Gregor is Ike’s older brother. They’re not the only ones (using most of the actors ages as a ballpark range) that are affect by them.

Lemony got an age lift upward, while Kit got an age lift downward (no amount of CGI on Patrick Warburton can make him look younger than Allison Williams -but it works enough for me to say he’s younger than Nathan Fillion- or stretching my disbelief Kit is older than Lemony, unless she found the fountain of youth). TUA has possible evidence Larry is the youngest SBG member if you don’t include Fernald (who age is more or less the same maybe slightly older but not by much), but Netflix!Larry certainly looks older than several members, including Kit and Larry. Ticket Seller Guy looks like the age I assumed Ishmael was in the books, and it stands out and goes to my next observation: Netflix!Ishmael certainly looks younger than I imagined (the beard and hair looks fake as hell that’s probably it) Is it because they made VFD Ishmael’s creation as a school principal? Probably?

Based on Ike’s portrayal and painting, Gregor and Ike are in the same age range as Ishmael. Ergo, those three aren’t part of the same ‘generation’ as Lemony and Co (the hybrid SB/OS Generation). Ike certainly doesn’t seem he went to school with most of them except Josephine (who looks like she got an age lift upward).

Given they’re brothers, Gregor and Ike will have a resemblance between each other. And there’s one VFD member in the Netflix show who got an age lift upward, and he also just happens to bare a resemblance to Ike. He’s the closest thing one will get to what Gregor would look in the Netflix show.

If the theory Gregor and Ike has a sibling who names start with H can work its way in the Netflix Continuity, the only contender for H is Widdershins.

*OBJECTION!* (says the non-crack theorist side of me who was listening to Ace Attorney OSTs on Youtube while writing this second half of the post) Fiona introduces herself as Fiona Widdershins. Fiona still calls her stepfather Captain Widdershins. That means Fiona is taking the Widdershins surname.

Given the numerous cameos of Barry Sonnenfeld (I never spotted the one in the Reptile Room and the Wasabi one in the Grim Grotto), there’s a gene floating around Netflix ASOUE’s world. Let’s call it ‘the Bullshit Gene’, because it’s bullshit how it keeps showing up. The Bullshit Gene is out there because some people with the gene can’t keep it in their pants, or the Bullshit Gene is super strong to be past down numerous generations and their face becomes very f*cking common to where people who don’t have it joke/comment about it whenever possible.

Gregor, Ike, and Widdershins could have seen how it’s almost bullshit they look similar to one another, and joke how their faces are almost everywhere in places they don’t expect. But the three only learn the truth that they’re half brothers in a DNA test that was supposed to be a joke. Gregor and Ike’s father and Widdershins’ mother cheated on their spouses, which lead to Widdershins’ birth (given Widdershins’ painting, he’s close to Gregor’s age or is at Gregor’s age). Mr. Anwhistle Sr and Mrs. Widdershins Sr didn’t tell their children or their spouses of the affair because of the Bullshit Gene. Anyone who makes a comment how the three share a resemblance to one other are brushed off because they just have that very f*cking common face that is everywhere.

So uh, there isn’t a proper ‘H’ Awhistle because H stands for Half-Brother.

*HOLD IT!* (says the non-crack theorist side of me) Would all three keep this hidden? Widdershins, yes. Gregor, maybe (it can go either way there’s little info about him). But Ike? From what we know of Ike, would he not tell Josephine, his own wife? What would be a reason to keep it hidden anyway?

Let’s say Fernald working at Anwhistle Aquatics as an apprentice happens after the three found out they’re half brothers. Gregor, Widdeshins, and Ike for some reason (in a rather idiotic move), thought to keep it to themselves because no one would believe them because the Bullshit Gene is everywhere and everyone knows about it and joke about it. Reasonable, but still idiotic. Ike is sort of hoping for the right moment to strike though to tell Josephine and maybe everyone else. They’re going to start a family after all. It would be wonderful if the two families got together for a real family picnic, not a VFD meeting/picnic.

With this new-found familial connection, Widdershins thought to use the the nepotist approach to get Fernald a job at Anwhistle Aquatics (‘Gregor can you help your step-nephew achieve his dream in Marine Biology and stuff?’ ‘Step-Half Nephew. Fernald actually has the best qualifications, so yeah.’).

That action decided they should do a test run of sorts. Anwhistle Aquatic is the chosen grounds. Fernald and Gregor are working together and they get along. Ike visits and tells Josephine (Josephine mentioning in Season One about she thinks boys would prefer to play with cards; she never met Fernald, but she heard of him through Ike), and Widdershins show up once in awhile to check up on his stepson (Fiona visits once or twice but she barely remembers them by the time she becomes 16). The brothers see it’s working...at first. The Medusoid Mycelium is now created. Ike and Gregor start fighting over it, as with Gregor and Fernald (who is more ‘hey just reconsider’). Widdershins isn’t getting involved, but agrees with Ike and Fernald. Gregor is outnumber but he still wants to go through the program, with or without his apprentice’s (nephew) help.

And then the Anwhistle Aquatic Fire happens. Everyone eventually learns it’s done by Fernald. And Ike is angry Gregor is dead. Gregor could still be alive if Widdershins didn’t try to get his step-son into working at Anwhistle Aquatics. If Gregor and Ike never discover their half brother and his family, Gregor would still be alive. And Ike wants to have a family with Josephine. With Fernald with mind, Ike doesn’t want Widdershins and Fiona to be around Ike’s family in case the same stunt happens again. Widdershins and Ike in a mutual agreement -with a heated argument- parts way and keep their family secret to themselves.

So yeah. Ike would keep a secret from Josephine if his buttons were push. Gregor and his death was the button that did the trick.

*HANG ON!* (says the non-crack theorist side of me) What does that means regarding the bad blood between him and Widdershins? Widdershins is the one who drove Fernald away in the books after all! For...well, no one know for sure. Just theories. Mostly related to Mrs. Widdershins.

*‘Hey wait a minute! I just realize there’s lack of an importance of Mrs. Widdershins and her death in the Netflix Show’*

Okay, so in the books, Widdershins for whatever reason (guilt? let’s say guilt), is on the denial train when it comes to Fernald. More often than not, Widdershins wants to remember Fernald as the teenage boy who is pleasant and charming. He never brings up the fights or anything bad regarding his stepson. In fact, the denial train is so strong, I think the reason why Widdershins made his weird comment of marriage to Violet is because he convinced himself Fernald is still a teenage boy, and not the adult he is by present time. And it’s clear as day Fernald really, really, hates his stepfather. A lot. At lot to where Fernald would start a fight with his stepfather in a parking lot Denny’s (and Fernald will win said fight). Apply the idea/theory Mrs. Widdershins was working with Gregor and she died in the Anwhistle Aquatic Fire, Fernald has every right to pick said fight: Widdershins was responsible for Fernald’s mom death in Fernald’s eyes.

In the Netflix show, Fernald hate his stepfather, but it’s not on the levels as his book counterpart. After his freak out over Madame Lulu!Olivia, Fernald thinks about calling Fiona, but gets the realization his stepfather could answer instead, and even comments/ask himself if Widdershins would still be mad at him [Fernald], most likely over the Anwhistle Aquatic Fire. Fernald’s tone in the scene means he is scare of meeting Widdershins again. Fernald gladly tells Sunny a happy memory of sorts with Widdershins, about how the two went ice fishing before immediately back tracking because Fernald realize (in horror) he has remnant affection (let’s call it that) left in his heart. And the biggest ‘slip-up’ of this remnant affection: Fernald calls Widdershins ‘step-pops’. He and Fiona call Widdershins their stepfather, but Fiona never says ‘step-pops’. It’s possible ‘step-pops’ was Fernald’s prefer terminology before the bad blood set. There’s hate, but it’s not worth picking a fight in a parking lot at Denny’s.

In the Netflix show...instead of keeping Fernald alive as a young teenager who is pleasant and charming, Widdershins wants Fernald very f*cking dead. He told Fiona her brother died in a manatee accident. He told Fiona this not long after Fernald set Anwhistle Aquatics on fire and presumably after getting kick out of VFD, and around this time the big fight happens where Fernald tells Widdershins he [Fernald] never wanted to see his [Widdershins] face again. It’s a f*ck up lie because when Book!Widdershins said the same thing to Book!Fiona about her mom, Fiona’s mom is dead. Book!Widdershins also never even told Fiona that Fernald is dead, he’s just alive and missing. And I should bring up the happy family photo. In the books, it’s more or less open correction it was crumple but it still show all four of the family members. Netflix’s happy family photo took a note from Mama Imelda in Coco who folded away her husband’s guitar on the ofrenda photo (after ripping off her husband’s face). Widdershins folded away Fernald, leaving only Fiona and Widdershins (and Fernald’s hand).

In both books and show, Widdershins drove away Fernald. In the books, it’s possible (but not 100% certain) Fernald blames Widdershins for causing Fernald’s mom death in the Anwhistle Aquatic Fire. In the Netflix show, under this theory Netflix!H is Widdershins, Widdershins drove away Fernald because Widdershins blames Fernald for causing Widdershins’ half brother death in the Anwhistle Aquatic Fire. However, Fernald decision’s to leave is also because Fernald doesn’t understand the full extent of his actions. Fernald knows his Stepfather is mad over the fire and Gregor’s death, but Fernald didn’t think his Stepfather would be super mad over the fire and Gregor’s death.

Of course, Fernald probably (probably) wouldn’t have set the fire had the three brothers you know, told everyone they’re related. It’s possible (possible) Widdershins did realize that terrible mistake in a cooling off period. If he also hated Fernald enough to never want to see his stepson’s face again, Widdershins could have torn off Fernald’s face of the photo.

#asoue #a series of unfortunate events #netflix asoue #asoue season 3 #asoue netflix #theory #this is a text post #tv show continuity

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yurtletheturtlehenderson · 5 years

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ASoUE REWRITE - Season 1; The Miserable Mill - Part i.i

⇢ Klaus x Reader⇠

*not my gif*

"Get a job, hitchhikers!" The man called, pulling his truck away.

The Baudelaire children had managed to escape the clutches of Count Olaf once again. While Mr. Poe, the man responsible for putting them in dangerous situations on multiple occasions was distracted with Count Olaf, the children noticed a pickup truck that bore the name LUCKY SMELLS LUMBERMILL. The three Baudelaires were able to slip away and climb into the truck bed unnoticed and were carried off into the woods as stowaways. But of course, eventually, the driver had spotted Violet and proceeded to kick the children out, leaving them to wander the woods.

After what felt like hours, the children found themselves at the edge of a familiar-looking scene. It was the grey and ashy remains of what was once a thriving town.

"It looks like there was a fire. Everything's gone." Klaus said somberly as him and his sisters trudged through the ashy remains of the town.

Ahead of them, a long stretching fence with the words LUCKY SMELLS was printed in large letters across. Behind it stood the towering structure of an old factory building.

"Not everything." Violet countered, looking at the approaching lumber mill

"Lucky Smells Lumbermill," Klaus said.

"Maybe this is where all the clues lead us. The secret safe and the strange photographs at Aunt Josephine's." Suggested Violet.

"The secret message and the statue lady at Uncle Monty's" Said Klaus, referring to the mysterious woman who was disguised in the middle of Montgomery Montgomery's maze who had helped them in their desperate time of need.

"Eebee," Sunny said, which meant something like "Count Olaf. He's just strange."

Violet looked at her sister and gave a look saying she agreed. Her lips pressed into a firm line.

"The only thing standing between us and all our parents' secrets..." Violet trailed off, as the three came to a stop in front of the enormous wooden wall.

"is an enormous wooden wall." Klaus finished. "What if we don't like what we find? Knowing can be a terrible thing."

"But not knowing, isn't that worse?" His older sister countered.

Klaus sighed, looking back at the enormous wall, knowing his sister was right. Meanwhile, Violet, who had been carrying the youngest Baudelaire sibling, turned to rest her baby sister on a nearby wheelbarrow where she could rest comfortably as she tied her hair up in a ribbon.

Anyone who truly knew Violet Baudelaire knew that whenever she tied her hair back in her ribbon, it meant her brain was hard at work thinking of an invention. Violet was one of the greatest inventors of her time and she is well known for her ability to create a high functioning device out of nothing but the scraps around her. A skill that has proved more than helpful when it came to escaping Count Olaf and has gotten her and her siblings out of his clutches on more than one occasion. The ribbon was to keep the hair out of her eyes, and it never failed to help her think.

She tied back her hair as she stared at the wall before her, all ready planning her next possible invention.

"I bet I could invent a catapult to get us over."

Meanwhile, Klaus was recalling all his acquired knowledge on walls and their infrastructure from his love of reading and his years of research. Another skill that has proved helpful to the children when surviving in a life on the run from Count Olaf.

"I read about walls. The Wall of Jericho, the Great Wall of China." Klaus recalled.

"All I need is a lever, a counterweight, and a very large spoon." Violet finished, as she tied the knot on her ribbon.

"Pink Floyd's The Wall. Although mother wouldn't let me watch that one," Klaus chuckled weakly at the memory of his dearly departed mother.

The siblings were taken aback to hear the creaking of the doors to the wooden wall and turned to find their clever baby sister at the gate.

"Sunny," Violet said in surprise.

The babbling toddler had managed to push open the gate with no trouble and sat on the ground gazing up at her older siblings.

Violet gave a half-smirk and walked forward, picking her baby sister up from the dirty ground and piles of wood chips and wood dust. She walked back to stand next to her brother once more.

Klaus frowned, and gestured to a sign in big red letters that read,

"WARNING: Trespassers Will Be Put To Work"

"Does this make us trespassers?" Klaus wondered.

"We're children," Violet said.

"Those aren't mutually exclusive." Klaus frowned.

"If we get caught, we'll just say we were on a school trip. Come on." Violet eased, walking forward, although she wasn't feeling as confident as she appeared.

Klaus followed in his sister's footsteps reluctantly, trying to ignore the sinking feeling in his stomach.

They walked forward towards the front doors of the lumbermill and Klaus asked the obvious question that was on all of their minds.

"What exactly are we looking for?"

"It's like father said about fine art. We'll know it when we see it." She suggested. "I think we're in the right place."

However, the three siblings stopped dead in their tracks, fear creeping in fast as they all saw the same terrifying building that stood tall in the lumber yard.

You see, ever since the Baudelaire's were sent to live with the wretched villain Count Olaf, there was a symbol that haunted the children almost as much as the man himself. A symbol that followed Count Olaf and the children everywhere they went. This symbol was of an eye.

A symbol that took form in a building.

There before them stood a menacing building shaped like a giant eye. And not just any eye, but the exact same eye that was tattooed on a very villainous man.

"I think we're in the right place," Violet said, stopping at the sight of the odd building.

"Or the very, very wrong place," Klaus said in despair.

"It could just be a coincidence," Violet offered, trying to ease her siblings' mind as well as her own.

The woman in white who was pacing in front of the window in the eye-shaped building did not go unnoticed by the Baudelaires.

"Maybe we should leave," Klaus said.

Klaus had not realized how on edge he had been until he yelped in fright when he felt a hand tap on his shoulder, startling his sisters in the process.

The three children whipped around to face an equally startled man who was not expecting the whole ordeal.

The man sighed. "Forgive me. I thought you might be trespassers. But now I see you're just children."

Klaus frowned once more. "They're not mutually-"

Violet jumped in before her brother could accidentally give them away. "We're on a school trip."

Klaus nodded. "Right, because we're schoolchildren." Klaus agreed less than convincingly.

"Well, this lumbermill is hardly a safe place for children, yet I suppose that hasn't proved a problem yet. Nevertheless, I should know, I run it."

The two oldest Baudelaire's shared an equally confused look before looking back at the man.

"Pardon?" Violet asked.

The man seemed to distract to noticed because he continued. "I'm Charles."

The two Baudelaire's seemed to remember the photograph at the same time and they both eagerly scrambled to pull it out, and Violet handed it to Charles.

"Do you recognize any of these people?"

Charles took the photograph and gave it a look. The children noticed his eyes widened in shock but he quickly tried to cover it up. All he did was force a smile, and handed the children the photograph.

"I think you better come see my partner," Charles said and began leading the children across the lumber yard, hiding his uneasy frown.

Violet did not skip the opportunity to ask questions. "Do you know what happened to the town over there?"

"Well, it's a sad story. Paltryville used to be booming," Charles explained as he led the three children to the office building. "We had a world food market, two hot yoga studios, and there was even talk of a water park. The name Paltryville was a misnomer. And then one day, the whole town burned down in a terrible fire."

The three children shared uneasy looks at the mention of yet another devastating fire, like the symbol of the eye, fire was another thing that seemed to haunt to the children and was a key factor in their seemingly endless misfortune.

"Luckily," Charles continued. "the lumbermill survived... and the eye-shaped building, which actually belongs to... oh, look, here we are."

The children were disappointed to be cut short of answers yet again and sighed.

Charles stepped forward and opened the door for the three children and the Baudelaire's stepped inside, hearts racing.

Charles led them down the long hallway and when he reached two double doors.

"Uh, children, I'd like you to meet..." he pulled back the sliding doors revealing a man surrounded in a cloud of cigar smoke.

The man turned around, exhaling a large amount of smoke. "Call me Sir, everybody does 'cause I tell 'em to. I'm the boss. They have to do what I say, even my partner here."

Charles coughed at the overwhelming amount of smoke.

"Doesn't 'partner' mean 'equal'?" Klaus asked, confused by the situation.

The two men shared a look and finally, Sir spoke for the two of them. "I do all the work. He irons my clothes." He said gruffly, taking another puff of the cigar.

Charles lightly scoffed. "I also cook your omelets." He then gestured to the children. "I found them wandering unsupervised, poor dears."

"Well, you know what we do with trespassers, don't you, Charles?" Said Sir.

"But they're only children." Charles plead. "I thought we could take them in. Give them a loving, normative home."

"Nonsense. I believe you treat children like grown-ups. Put 'em to work in the mill. It'll teach them responsibility. It'll teach them the value of hard work. And it'll teach 'em how to make flat wooden boards out of trees."

"But, Sir-" Argued Charles, not before he was soon cut short by his partner once more.

"Don't argue with me. We're partners. We've done it already, and there hasn't been a problem."

Once again, Klaus seemed taken aback by the indication that another child was working here was continuing to be slipped into the conversation without any explanation. He was a bit upset that his sisters hadn't seemed to have noticed.

"If we work in the mill, do we get to stay here?"

"'Get to?'" Klaus didn't know what was more upsetting about this whole ordeal; the obvious breach of child labor laws or his sister's eagerness to stay and participate.

"Bleyb" Sunny cooed, which meant "Stay here?"

Sir smirked and gestured to Violet. "This one gets it. In this economy, children are lucky to have a job at all. What's your name, young lady?"

"Violet... Baudelaire."

Sir seemed shocked at the news.

"A Baudelaire." He murmured in disbelief.

"Wait, do you... do you know that name?" Klaus asked eagerly.

Sir's voice lowered and his tone grew grim and serious.

"Of course I do. Every man, woman, and child in Paltryville knows the name Baudelaire."

"Why? Did you know our parents?" Violet asked.

Klaus immediately stepped forward and showed the man the photograph. "Who are the other people in this photograph?"

"Ack" Sunny said, which roughly translated to "What's with the eye-shaped building?"

"I don't understand what 'ack' means, but if you want to know about your parents, they-" before he could finish, Sir erupted into a coughing fit caused him to gag.

Charles started to pat his back. "Sir."

"Every time we are about to get some answers. Seriously?" He turned to his sisters and quickly vented.

Sir cleared his throat. "It's these cigars. I hate the things, but I can't quit smoking 'em. I'm the boss. Now, where was I? Oh, yeah. There's a reason this town will never forget your parents. They're the ones that burned it down."

The three children gasped in disbelief.

"Our parents did what?" Klaus asked, not wanting to believe what he just heard.

"I'm an important man. Don't make me repeat myself. They burned down the town! They're, um... not anywhere nearby, are they?"

And just like that, it felt like another punch to the gut for the children.

"They died... in a fire," Violet answered, in a monotone voiced, knowing if she showed any sliver of emotion she would collapse into tears.

"Good." Sir said, nodding. "What goes around comes around. It's a terrible thing, startin' a fire."

Sir had walked over to his fireplace and threw another log onto the dwindling flames as he spoke, the Baudelaire children were listening, unable to believe such harsh and vile words spoken about their late parents.

"Why are you still standing there? You got work to do in the morning." Sir barked.

The children felt as if their feet were glued to the floor, their limbs were frozen. They felt numb and were still processing the terrible information they had just received. How could they possibly find the courage to get to work now?

•••

That night in the lumbermill workers' dorm, the Baudelaires pondered what they'd heard, and the weight of it felt like it had aged them a hundred years. Though, of course, it hadn't.

"Did you hear about the new recruits?" The woman at the nearby table asked as she tinkered with a small device.

If you are gossiping about someone and you don't have anything nice to say that that can be considered a very rude thing to do, but to do so when the person in question is well within earshot makes it a truly awful thing to do. Much like Norma Rae, Ceasar and Jimmy were doing, as they spoke illy of the Baudelaire's when they were only a few feet away.

"They're Baudelaires." Sneered Norma Rae.

"I hear their folks were arsonists." Mumbled Jimmy, his eyes never leaving his book.

"I hear they checked out library books and never returned them." Grumbled Ceasar, in between bites of food.

"I hear they drank blood from the skulls of chupacabras." Said Norma Rae.

"You mean they drank from baby's skulls like chupacabras."

"I know what I heard."

"Now, that's enough you three! You're just making stuff up at this point." Came a young voice, much to the Baudelaire's surprise.

The three children looked up in shock to see a young girl, who looked to be about a year or two younger than Violet, come walking up to the table, a small dinner tray in hand. She was dressed in a uniform identical to other lumber workers and was sprinkled with sawdust.

The three were at a loss for words as the stern look directed at the other three lumber workers softened when she turned to look at the Baudelaires. She smiled warmly.

"I apologize for the unwelcoming environment. I know how hard it is to lose your family in such a terrible manner. Is this seat taken?" She asked hopefully.

The three Baudelaires looked at one another and then back to the friendly stranger and the eldest sibling smiled politely, gesturing to the open seat across the table. "Not at all."

"Thank you," the girl smiled and took a seat.

"Thank you. For saying those things, I mean." Klaus stuttered.

The girl smiled at him and he smiled back. She sat up straight and looked at the three.

"Where are my manners? I'm Y/N, Y/N L/N." Y/N held out her hand and shook each hand. First Klaus, then Violet then little baby Sunny.

"It's nice to meet you. I'm Violet Baudelaire, this is my sister Sunny and my brother Klaus."

"It's nice to meet you three, as well. I'm just sorry we couldn't meet under better circumstances. Tell me, if you don't mind me asking, what brings you three to Lucky Smells?" She asked, taking a bite of her food.

"Yebo," Sunny said.

Y/N tilted her head to politely show her confusion.

"What my sister means is, it's kind of a long story." Klaus smiled weakly.

Y/N straighten up and looked at sunny and smiled, "Well, if you're willing, I'm all ears, Sunny."

Sunny smiled at the girl, much like her siblings, she was already beginning to feel at home from the girl's welcoming presence.

So the three siblings shared their terrible tale. Everything from the gloomy day at Briny Beach, to the current day and how Charles put them to work after telling them their parents had caused the fire. Once they had finished, the Baudelaires grew worried that their new companion grew quiet.

"I'm- I'm so sorry Baudelaires, that sounds... unspeakably terrible."

The Baudelaires sighed.

"It was. It... is." Violet said glumly.

"Wait, so, you don't believe our parents started the Paltryville fire?" Klaus asked hopefully.

Y/N smiled sadly. "No, Baudelaires, I don't. I never have. This probably doesn't help, but I'm afraid I'm the only one who thinks so."

"It does help," Violet said, much to Y/N's confusion. "At least someone believes us, I mean. It's better than no one."

Y/N smiled sadly at the kind nature of three children. Despite all their hardships, they were still truly good and kind people.

"Now, if you don't mind us asking, you know why we're here but, we don't know why you're here. You're so young, how did you find yourself working at a dangerous place like this?"

Y/N grew somber and folded her hands in her lap and looked at the Baudelaires. "My parents and I lived in Paltryville all my life. But when the town burnt down, my family perished as well. I had nowhere to go, and no one came to get me like this Mr. Poe you told me about. So I had to fend for myself."

The Baudelaires nodded in understanding as their new friend told her story.

"I knew that Lucky Smells provided housing for their workers so I applied and I was rather shocked at how little they needed convincing. Quite concerning actually," The Baudelaires all nodded their head eagerly in agreement. "Anyways, I've worked here ever since."

It was quiet for a moment and then Y/N continued. "My parents spoke of yours often Baudelaires. It seems they were friends. Colleagues even. I would always ask in what but they'd refuse to tell me. Anyways, they always spoke highly of your parents. My mom even said that your parents saved their lives once. That's why I refuse to believe your parents ever could have done something so wicked. I trust my parents and they say yours were good people and I stick by that."

"Thank you, Y/N," Klaus said, smiling at the girl who smiled back.

"Geebo" Sunny said, which meant "Get a room!" It caused Violet to fight a smirk and Klaus shook his head to clear his thoughts and partly to hide the creeping blush.

Suddenly, the high pitched ring of the speakers pierced the silence and a booming static muffled voice rang out. "Lights out. Two seconds."

Then, all the lights in the cabin, save for the lit candles, shut off simultaneously.

"But it's only six 'o clock," Klaus said.

Suddenly, a large, happy man walked by towards his bunk bed. "Oh, boy, more time for dreaming." He said cheerily.

"That's Phil. As you can see he's a bit of an optimist."

"Did someone say my name?"

"Hi, Phil! I was just helping the Baudelaire's get acquainted. They're the new recruits everyone has been talking about."

"Oh boy! New friends!" He wheezed in delight. "I'm Phil, and I'm excited to work with you kids."

Violet smiled weakly and gestured to her siblings.

"Thank you. I'm Violet. These are my siblings, Klaus and Sunny."

"Listen, I... I know things seem dark. But you have to look on the bright side. So your parents burned down towns. You don't have to be like your parents. My parents were Olympic athletes and look at me." He smiled a toothy grin. "I work in a lumbermill."

Y/N sighed at Phil's comment and about the Baudelaire parents, feeling bad for the poor orphans and embarrassed knowing her friend didn't realize what he had done. She quickly tried to change the subject.

"Phil, did you have you have something there?" She asked, gesturing to his bag in the table.

The optimist's smile grew and he reached for the bag pulling out some pamphlets and a set of uniforms for the children.

"Who wants a welcome packet?"

The Baudelaires felt unsettling feeling growing in the pit of their stomachs as they thought of what might lay ahead of them in the morning. But nevertheless, it seemed a bit of the man's optimism had rubbed off on the children, especially a certain speckled Baudelaire, in particular, knowing they had made a new friend their age.

For the first time in what felt like months, the children felt as if they weren't so alone. Having someone who understands exactly what you are going through during a particularly traumatic time can be a very fortunate, very rare thing. Someone to share you're experiences and hardships with, someone to complain to who'll say "My entire family perished in a terrible fire and an evil and treacherous man is following me and conspiring to get my family fortune as well!", rather than the less than comforting "Look on the bright side, at least you survived. And there is no way that man could ever find you in disguise a fourth time!" can sometimes be the most therapeutic experience. And that is exactly what the Baudelaires and Y/N L/N found when they found each other.

•••

"I do hope I'm not intruding," Y/N said as she returned to the table, having washed her dishes.

The three smiled at Y/N. "Not at all," Klaus said.

"I would be more than happy to offer my services to you three. I like you Baudelaires, and I'll help in any way I can to help clear your parents' names and I'll keep an eye out for this vile man Count Olaf, you've told me so much about."

The three shared a look. Violet looked to the girl and leaned in concerned.

"That is a very kind offer Y/N, but I'd hate to put you in danger. I dread to think what would happen if he ever caught up to us and knew you were helping us. He isn't afraid of hurting innocent people, and certainly not children,"

"And I appreciate the concern, Violet. But I want to help." Y/N looked around before leaning in and whispering. "I don't know much, but my parents were apart of something big and I think we are after the same answers. If we work together, I think we can find out what's really been going on. I hadn't mentioned this before, I hardly speak of them, but I too have siblings as well"

The faces of the Baudelaires fell, even baby sunny let out a sympathetic coo, and Y/N leaned back.

"It's true. They died in the fire. B/n and S/n. They were twins." She trailed off at the mention of her siblings. "I loved them and I miss them every day. Maybe, just maybe I can find some answers and find out why all these fires are being started."

It was quiet for a moment. Then Klaus spoke up.

"I'm, so sorry for your loss."

She smiled sadly. "Thank you, Klaus. And I'm sorry for yours. But, you must know, I can hold my own. And I am not afraid of facing Count Olaf if it means looking out for you three. And I'd be more than willing to help in any way I can if you'll let me."

"Thank you, Y/N. We really appreciate it!"

"So, what can I do to help."

"Unfortunately, we're not even sure what we're going to do yet. We were going to come up with a plan tonight."

"Okay! Well, here's a map of the mill. Maybe this will help." Y/N said, unfolding the large map that had been on the table, while Klaus began reading through the welcome manual.

"Oh, look Klaus. The mill has a library. Maybe you can research what happened here and clear our parents' names."

"Oh, yeah. I've never actually been there before. I forgot it was there. Break times are so short but I bet you could go during lunchtime," Y/N offered.

Klaus chuckled and gestured to the Manual. "Look. The mill has machines. Maybe you could invent a way of making planks out trees faster."

"Yeeb" cooed sunny, as she pointed to a coupon. "Look. It's that eye building."

"Y/N, what can you tell us about this building?" Violet asked as she leaned forward, examining the picture.

"Oh, you mean Dr. Orwell's office? She's an optometrist who works just across the mill. I hardly ever see her. She's a bit of a recluse."

"Hmm," recalled Klaus. "Father always said he didn't trust them. Or optimists now that I recall."

"But what does an optometrist's office have to do with Count Olaf?" Violet wondered. "Maybe Phil was right. We should look on the bright side. This mill may be miserable, but since we got here, we haven't seen Count Olaf. And we met you, Y/N." The new set of friends smiled at each other. "What if that eye really was a coincidence? What I'd we finally found a place where Count Olaf won't find us?"

"Hopefully, you're right Violet. Here, let's see what we can do," she reached for the manual and map and the four children began planning for tomorrow.

•••

Later that night, the children lay in bed. Y/N was already fast asleep in her usual spot on the bottom bunk. Klaus was next to her in the adjacent bunk. Violet and Sunny shared the top bunk above Klaus.

"Is Sunny asleep?" Whispered Klaus in the dead of night.

Violet turned over to get a peek at her sister, who was sleeping soundly and smiling, as she occasionally nipped at the air. Violet smiled fondly.

"She's dreaming about biting something. Why?" Replied Violet.

"What Sir said about our parents. You don't think it could be true." Klaus asked.

Violet frowned. "Of course not."

"Then you agree what we have to do."

"Of course," Violet said. The two siblings then spoke at the same time. "Clear their names."

"Get out of here. Wait, what?" Klaus asked bewildered.

"If we clear their names, maybe we can finally get some answers. Besides, what about Y/N?" Violet asked.

At the mention of their new friend, Klaus turned his head and looked over at the sleeping girl. Unlike Sunny, she looked troubled as she slept. She hugged her pillow tightly and a frown was etched onto her face.

Klaus bit his lip and turned, focusing his gaze on the top bunk above him, not wanting to think about leaving the girl he just met.

"She's wonderful, and it's very gracious of her to offer to help, which is all the more reason to get out of here while we can. If Count Olaf catches up to us, we'd be putting her in danger. And I'm sorry, but I can't help but think, maybe our parents wouldn't want us here anyway."

"Then they shouldn't have left us alone." Violet snapped.

Klaus was shocked at his sister.

"You know that's not what they did."

Violet took a deep breath. "I'm sorry. I know it's not their fault. And I know you're just trying to be cautious."

Klaus sighed. "I guess we're not seeing eye to eye."

It was quiet for a moment, and then Klaus spoke once more. "I wish they were here. Our parents."

"I know." Replied Violet, in a sad tone. "I don't like this place either. But staying is the best way to find out what our parents were hiding."

"The best way to find out would be to ask them. But we never can."

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midsvmmars · 5 years

Text

here i come again with the same list of wanted plots and ships that i will never get tired of. like this if you want to plot and i’ll hit you up!! more deets under the read more !!

before this know i only rp on tumblr !! also i am someone who is like super hyped and high energy when it comes to plots, i love to pop off and headcanon a bunch and i get super into them so if you’re looking for a partner like that i’m your gal !!

wanted plots:

gimme a midsommar plot (hence the url)

GIMME A MARVEL MUMU

someone give me a plot based on the book rebecca by daphne du maurier like pls i want the secrets and mystery and intrigue!! this young naive girl meets this brooding older man while working as a personal assistant and they fall in love and she thinks everything will be perfect but when they get back to his mansion after the honeymoon she realizes there’s some big mystery with what happened with his last wife and the house holds more secrets than she thought

something based on true blood cuz i binged some of it awhile ago and still want smth !! gimme small town southern gothic vibes where vampires are coming out of coffin and the prejudice against them, the drama of other supernaturals, vamp night clubs, etc. honestly a small group or mumu on this would be awesome too

similarly give me a plot based on salems lot !! muse a is an author who briefly lived in the town and after the death of his wife comes back to write a novel about the town and there they meet muse b, the local who is just dying to get off. they immediately hit it off and start a relationship, too bad right as they begin to fall in love vampires move into town and everything goes to shit.

something based on from dusk till dawn (the movie and series) where a sweet christian girl gets caught up in some criminals shit and they have to work together to defeat the actual evil at hand

silent hill !! man goes to a mysterious town looking for his daughter and finds a townie and they work together to figure out what the fuck is going on

give me a plot based slightly on veronica mars where its an outcast PI and the asshole popular guy and they always are bickering and are known enemies at school but when a mutual friend gets murdered they have to work together to solve the case and maybe fall in love while doing it

(a lot of these will have the actual canon ships at the end if you want that instead idk !!)

also a plot based on pride and prejudice cuz uh drama and messy and bickering and slow burn yeah!!

A MUMU OF UNTIL DAWN CHARACTERS BUT JUST THEM BEING FRIENDS AND DRAMA THIS SMALL GROUP WOULD BE FUN

cupid and psyche!!

pls give me a plot based on roswell ( i’ve only seen the original and won’t watch the new one so idk how similar they are!!) it could be exactly like the show where its people living in roswell, regular local figures out someone they know their entire life is an alien or it could be like the character is a scientist and catches them ?? idk but alien shit = fun

in general give me plots with supernatural creatures and events!! whether its two supernatural creatures, one supernatural one human idc. also angels and demons and humans and all that drama!! hunters too maybe?? idk

yeah hey so what about a dirty dancing plot where muse a goes to a holiday resort with their wealthy family and notices the cute dance instructor muse b and they decide to enter a dance competition and its all sneaking around from the parents who won’t approve and all the other snooty guests and muse b tryna get muse a to loosen up and its just cute shit okay!! thank you

a plot where muse a is like totally in love with their roommates boyfriend and they always hang out while they are there visiting and its awkward and painful and ye drama

ur a vampire who i met at a club and was dancing on and i woke up in ur bed with marks all over my neck and i’m terrified but also kinda fucking turned on and i don’t know what to do

dynamics like kathryn and sebastian from cruel intentions

royalty plots

stranger things plots or inspired plots or mumus!!

wanted canon ships: bold is who i would want to play

sansa stark x theon greyjoy (game of thrones)

allie pressman x harry bingham (the society)

ellington feint x lemony snicket (asoue/atwq)

kit snicket x count olaf (asoue)

lisa garland x harry mason (silent hill)

susan norton x ben mears (salems lot)

pacifica northwest x dipper pines (gravity falls)

kate fuller x seth or richie gecko (from dusk till dawn)

kate bishop x peter parker (mcu/marvel comics)

yelena belova x idk !! anyone u want !! (marvel comics)

terra markov x garfield logan (teen titans/dc comics)

#1x1 #1x1 rp #wanted plots

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gellavonhamster · 5 years

Note

001 b&b

when I started shipping it if I did: probably not exactly after reading the books but rather after getting into the fandom and reading posts and meta and headcanons about them

my thoughts: I imagine their relationship to be built on friendship and trust and mutual respect, on being a team in any situation and understanding each other well. I also headcanon that they bonded over the opera mission, but weren’t really close prior to that - probably even found each other slightly annoying because he thought her too loud and pretentious and she thought him a goody two-shoes. Getting to know each other better, each of them understood that there’s much more to the other than this, and that despite their differences, they complement one another perfectly

what makes me happy about them: the ultimate partners in crime who raised three wonderful, brave and kind children

what makes me sad about them: the fact that they didn’t get a chance to see their children grow up and couldn’t protect them from all the pain and misery they faced

things done in fanfic that annoys me: sidelining Bertrand in favour of Lemony (more like “things done in Netflix ASOUE that annoy me”, am I right)

things I look for in fanfic: their relationship being more or less the way I see it (i.e. the “my thoughts” part + being less romantic but more mature than Lemony/Beatrice)

who I’d be comfortable them ending up with, if not each other: Beatrice - with R or Lemony (though it seems an unlikely option to me because 200-page breakup letters don’t appear out of thin air), Bertrand - with Lemony or Ernest (I blame you for that last part haha)

my happily ever after for them: they both survive the fire and, after overcoming all the obstacles that have been preventing them from finding V&K&S at once, are reunited with their children; L can come too because I’m an ot3 mess

who is the big spoon/little spoon: I think that mostly depends on who was feeling upset or nervous before going to bed - the other would be the big spoon in an effort to comfort them

what is their favorite non-sexual activity: having picnics with their kids :’)

#thank you! im love them #tangentiallly #beatrice baudelaire #bertrand baudelaire #a series of unfortunate events #snicketverse #asks #gella talks snicketverse

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barbossas-wench · 5 years

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Tag, you're it!

Rules: Answer the questions and tag 20 people, either mutuals or followers you would like to know better

Got tagged by @ghoul-bellhop29 TY 💖

Name/nickname: Maxine, Max (called by my friends) and Xam ( pronounced as "sam", called by my family)

Gender: Cis

Astrological sign: Pisces

Birthday: February 22 (Fun fact: I shared my birthday with my two spooky boys, Dwight Frye and Edward Gorey. And George Washington in other case)

Height: 5"1'

Sexuality: Bi

Hogwarts house: Hufflepuff

Blanket count: two (whenever it's cold) and one (when its hot)

Nationality/country: Filipina with Chinese descent

Occupation: student? Artist? duh

Hobbies: Drawing, listening to music, writing about my ocs

Other blogs: none

Fav book: ASOUE and Mysterious Benedict Society

Favorite movie: Something Wicked This Way Comes (1983)

Favorite color: any shades of pink, wine red, turquoise, and black

Fav season: between fall and winter

Favorite animal: rabbits

Last movie I watched: Mickey, Donald, and Goofy in Three Musketeers bc I'm bored lmao

Last song I listened: The Tudors main title song

Last book I read: The Picture of Dorian Gray by Oscar Wilde

Inspiration or muse: my favorite illustrators in general

Meaning of URL: last year, I have this old url princessgibsongirl for years and it sounds pretty boring to me and I came up with two French words mademoiselle-princesse meaning miss and princess.

Dream destination: eastern states, Orlando, San Francisco (I haven't been there since toddler), Paris (I'm excited to go there in November this year), Brussels, London, Tokyo, Canada

Dream job: illustrator and costume designer for theater

Tagging: @averyhappychappy @shinigabi-tan @justsomeghostofme @rowan-does-not-exist @ladiez-in-waiting @survivorparr @helpthebarefandom @krystalhuntress @thewhizzyhead @blossomgutz and for others, feel free to use this if you want

#about me #tagged #tag

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a-second-hand-sorrow · 6 years

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Goodnight (Klaus Baudelaire X Reader)

WC: 1876

Warnings: Um idk, lots of mentions of snakes

Summary: When the Baudelaire’s are sent to live with Dr Montgomery they don’t expect him to have an assistant, let alone one that they can befriend or perhaps, in Klaus’ case, fall for.

A/N: I’ve been watching a lot of ASOUE, and I’ve got a lot of love for Klaus Baudelaire so I’ve written this. It’s set during the Reptile Room.

As Mr Poe’s car pulled up out the front of Dr Montgomery’s house the Baudelaire’s were more than intrigued by the thought of their new guardian.

What would they look like? How would they speak? And most importantly, why did they have an excess of reptile shaped topiary outside their house?

“Well, Baudelaire’s, here we.” Mr Poe cut himself off with a harsh cough, something the Baudelaire’s had become accustomed to by now.

“Here we are, Dr Montgomery’s house. Now, I must head back to the bank, but I ensure that the three of you will be polite to the doctor.” Mr Poe said, ushering the Baudelaire’s up to the front door of the large house.

“Thank you, Mr Poe.” Violet said, adjusting Sunny in her arms as she spoke.

“I must leave, but don’t hesitate to contact me at Mulctuary Money Management if you have any problems with your new guardian. Goodbye Baudelaire’s!” He said, waving at the children as he got into his car.

Klaus took a deep breath and pressed the doorbell, as Violet was preoccupied with Sunny.

The door swung open to reveal a girl about Klaus’ age, and Klaus’ eyes widened slightly.

“You must be the Baudelaire’s. Please, come in.” She said, and Klaus’ eyes didn’t leave her as they entered.

“Are you Dr Montgomery? I don’t mean to be rude, but you look a little young to be a doctor.” Violet said, and Sunny said “Booscha!” which meant “I agree with my sister.”

The girl laughed loudly, and Klaus smiled at the sound of her laugh. It had been a while since he had seen anyone that happy, especially anyone that pretty.

“No, I’m definitely not Dr Montgomery. My name is Y/N, and I’m Dr Montgomery’s assistant, in a way.” Y/N said, stretching her hand out for the Baudelaire’s to shake.

“I’m Violet. This is Sunny and that’s Klaus.” Violet said, attempting to gesture in the direction of her brother.

“It’s a pleasure to meet you all.” She said, shaking Klaus’ hand. Y/N tried to fight the blush on her cheeks as their hands joined, and she knew if Monty was there he’d make some joke about how her cheeks were as red as the underside of a red-belly black snake.

“Y/N! Who are you talking to? If it’s another sales representative I will set the androgynous cobra on them.” A voice called from upstairs, and Y/N chuckled softly.

“No, Monty. It’s the Baudelaire’s.” She called, and there was a bit of rustling before Dr Montgomery made his way down the stairs, a wide smile on his face.

“Hello Baudelaire’s! Oh, it is so wonderful to see you all!” He said cheerily, shaking their hands eagerly.

“Hello Dr Montgomery.” Violet said, and the doctor scoffed slightly.

“Monty, please. Perhaps Uncle Monty if you feel comfortable enough with me. I assume Y/N has introduced herself already.” Monty said, gesturing to the Y/H/C girl.

“Yes, she has.” Klaus said, and Y/N looked at him with a soft smile on her face.

“He speaks.” She muttered, and although the words could be interpreted harshly, Klaus knew that she meant them in the kindest possible way.

“Well, with introductions out of the way, how about a tour? I’d give it myself but I have a very important meeting to attend at the Herpetological Society. I trust Y/N to give you the full Montgomery Tour Experience.” He said, and Y/N smiled bashfully.

“Thanks Monty. Now Klaus, Violet, Sunny, follow me.” She said, gesturing for the Baudelaire’s to follow her.

Follow her they did, and their first stop, oddly, was the kitchen. “I would be an awful assistant hostess if I didn’t offer any cake or tea. Monty wouldn’t stand for it, and neither do I.” Y/N said, laughing slightly.

Klaus let out a little sigh, and Violet turned to look at him quizzically. He immediately went red, averting his eyes from the gaze of his sister.

“Thank you for offering, but I’m fine.” Violet said, and Y/N nodded, putting the kettle on anyway.

“Well, how about you Klaus? Want anything?” Y/N asked, leaning against the countertop.

“A cup of tea, please. I’m not very hungry.” He said, and Y/N smiled, pulling two mugs out of an overhead cabinet.

A silence settled over the children as Y/N prepared the tea, and both Violet’s and Klaus’ minds were working overtime to try and assess Y/N.

“I don’t mean to pry, but why are you working for Dr Montgomery? Shouldn’t you be in school or something like that?” Violet asked suddenly and Y/N turned to face her.

“Well, my brother Gustav used to be Dr Montgomery’s full-time assistant and I just did mundane things, like sort out papers and feed the reptiles.” Y/N said, passing Klaus a mug of tea.

He mouthed a silent ‘thank you’ and Y/N smiled at him genuinely, causing his stomach to fill with butterflies.

“But the other day Gustav left Monty a sudden letter of resignation, and just disappeared. Knowing the people Gustav got involved with, I think that he didn’t resign. I think he was murdered.” Y/N said, her voice growing quieter as the sentence came to an end.

“That’s awful.” Violet muttered, and Sunny made a noise of agreement.

Klaus locked eyes with Y/N and for a moment there was an unspoken conversation between them, one of mutual understanding of grief and loss.

“Anyway, now I’m Monty’s full-time assistant which has been very boring until now. If that’s everything, we can continue with the tour.” Y/N said, and her eyes began gleaming with a look that Klaus had seen a few times before, in the eyes of his older sister when she was about to show him something incredible.

“Our next stop is the Reptile Room.”

Later that night, after their tour of the house and many hours spent enjoying the Reptile Room, it was finally time for the Baudelaire’s to go to sleep.

“Now, bambini, it has been a wonderful first day with you, and I look forward to the rest of your days here. Goodnight.” Monty said, and as he was about to leave, there was a knock on the door.

“It’s just me, Y/N. Can I come in?” She said, pushing the door open slightly.

“Of course, Y/N. This is your house as much as it is mine. I thought you’d know that by now.” Monty said, and Y/N opened the door fully and stepped in.

Klaus took note of how good Y/N looked in her nightgown, and he tried to hide his blushing face.

“You look like the underside of a red-bellied black snake, Klaus.” Y/N said quickly, feeling good that for once that comment wasn’t directed at her.

Monty chuckled, winking at Klaus very conspicuously. “She’s quick, our Y/N. Isn’t she, Klaus?” Monty said, and Klaus’ face went a brighter red.

“Yes, she is.” Klaus said quietly, and Y/N sent him a sympathetic look.

“Well, goodnight children. I’ll see you tomorrow.” Monty said, followed by a chorus of ‘goodnights’ from the Baudelaire’s and Y/N as he left.

“Sorry about Monty. He loves to tease about as much as he loves snakes.” Y/N said, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear.

“It’s fine, really. Light hearted teasing is better than verbal abuse.” Klaus said softly, flashbacks of Count Olaf’s degrading treatment of them flooding back into his mind.

“Do you mind if I sit next to you, Klaus?” Y/N said, and Klaus nodded, shifting slightly so she had more space to sit.

“How have you found the place so far?” Y/N asked, and a smile fell on all three of the Baudelaire’s faces.

“It’s wonderful, and Uncle Monty is so much better than our last guardian.” Violet said, with a hint of disgust on the word ‘guardian’.

“I agree with Violet. It’s amazing, and I’ve seen so many incredible things.” Klaus said, his eyes lingering on Y/N just long enough to make brief eye contact with her before going as red as his favourite sweater.

“I’m glad to hear that. We haven’t had anyone decent stay here in a long time. I mean the screeching iguanas roomed with me for a bit, but that’s the closest I’ve come to visitors in a while.” Y/N said, chuckling to herself.

The room fell quiet, and Klaus took that moment to get a good look at Y/N. Her Y/H/C hair fell past her shoulders, her eyes seemed like a kaleidoscope of colours, and they shone whenever she smiled.

“Do you mind if I stay with you three tonight?” Y/N whispered, fiddling with her nightgown as she spoke.

“I see no problem with that. Are you okay with that, Klaus?” Violet asked her brother, and he nodded, causing Y/N to smile.

Klaus smiled too, once he noticed that her eyes were shining brighter than he’d seen them shine before.

“You can share my bed, if you want.” Klaus suggested and Violet gave him a look that was a cross between surprise and smugness. A look that irritated Klaus to see coming from his sister.

“Really?” Y/N, who was willing to sleep on the floor, said, surprised at Klaus’ generosity.

“Of course. It was either that or you sleep on the floor, and I would feel awful if you had to do that.” He said, and Y/N’s cheeks went a dusty pink colour.

Violet let out a yawn that Y/N believed to be genuine but Klaus, who had known his sister his entire life, knew to be fake. He sent Violet an irritated look to which Violet responded with a smirk.

“It’s really late, and clearly Violet’s tired.” Y/N said, and Violet nodded.

“It was great meeting you Y/N. Goodnight.” Violet said, and Sunny babbled something unintelligible as Violet switched off the lights.

The room was engulfed in darkness, and Y/N and Klaus took in deep breaths. “Well, goodnight Y/N.” Klaus said, shifting slightly under the blankets.

“Goodnight Klaus Baudelaire.” Y/N said, pressing a brief kiss to Klaus’ cheek. Well, it was meant to be his cheek, but Klaus turned his head slightly and Y/N’s lips ended up on Klaus’.

The kiss was only short, but after it ended and the two of them had sorted out a suitable sleeping position, it seemed to be all Klaus could think about as he rested, with Y/N’s head against his chest.

Monty was awake well before Y/N and the Baudelaire’s, but after about an hour he decided to go and check on them to see if all was still well.

When he slowly opened the door, he did not expect to find such a picturesque sight in front of him. Sunny and Violet sleeping peacefully, and Y/N and Klaus cuddled up together.

He could tell from their first meeting that there was a spark between Y/N and Klaus Baudelaire, and as he thought about the two of them his mind drifted back to some old friends of his… Lemony and Beatrice.

Monty closed the bedroom door, a smile on his face as he walked down to the kitchen. Montgomery Montgomery was blissfully unaware of the traumatic events that were to unfold over the next day or two, but that morning he was happier than he could remember being in a long time.

#asoue #a series of unfortunate events #klaus baudelaire #klaus baudelaire x reader #klaus baudelaire imagine #louis hynes #asoue imagine #asoue x reader

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badlydrawndrawnings · 4 years

Text

a messed up widdershins-caliban family mini-theory/headcanon

[bare with me i wrote this around 1am in my time zone and thought to post it now instead of at a more reasonable period like 1pm maybe you’ll catch typos]

So Mrs. Widdershins and her first husband are clearly not part of the sugar bowl generation (i think that’s the term for vfd members who are children when the original schism happened?). They’re original schism members, since Fernald is always technically lump with the sugar bowl generation to keep things simple.

But we have Fiona, who is definitely lump with the Baudelaires and Quagmires children (idk what term is used for them). We know that Fiona’s birth happened when Fernald is a teenager: greater than or equal to 13, but less than or equal to 16. I’m excluding 17 because babies in the asoue world can remember memories one thought they wouldn’t remember and Fiona could be barely be two when recalling fernald and captain widdershins fighting and fernald’s departure, and 18 because it’s age you become an adult in the asoue world.

Other things to considers: Widdershins isn’t actually that much older than Fernald but still older than Fernald for Mrs. widdershins to accept the proposal and Mrs. Widdershins’ death may be connected to the Anwhistle Aquatic fire that took Gregor Anwhistle’s life (since she may have worked with Gregor to created the medusoid mycelium).

The biggest thing to think about is that Fiona in the Grimm Grotto, says this about her biological father: “My father moved away!” (page 291, in my copy at least). I always thought it as sad detail how Fiona’s family is broken, but after discovering when a child takes in their steparent’s surname is like, basically an adoption, Fiona is Fiona Widdershins for a reason.

Widdershins adopting Fiona is possible proof Mrs. Widdershins’ first husband wants nothing to do with his old family. With Mrs. Widdershins’ death, the first husband could have fought custody for Fiona (and Fernald, if he didn’t switch sides at this point) or at least visitation rights, but didn’t. Widdershins adopting his late wife’s children may have been his way of trying to keep the siblings together, but in the end could only adopt Fiona. While Widdershins will never win best father of the year, Widdershins would only win second place for worse father of the year.

The first husband will wins first place for worse father of the year, because i think he is Thursday, and left his child again in his marriage to Miranda Caliban. So, like, this is what i have theorize/headcanon: Mrs. Widdershins and Thursday are the youngest members of the original schism generation. They are sometimes mistaken as being the oldest sugar bowl generation members (that goes to monty) and are flatter.

Mrs. widdershins and Thursday always planned Fernald’s birth, and only him. Seeing how Parents with two or more children have a greater chance of dying after their children are kidnapped taken, having one child gives Fernald a greater chance to be raise by them for longer, before getting indoctrinated into VFD.

Their plan work. Fernald didn’t even had to get kidnapped taken. VFD treated him as a kid who always hang out at his parents’ workplace. Fernald got to know several of his parent’s co-workers, two including Captain Widdershins (VFD forced Widdershins to babysit Fernald as a way to toture him [Widdershins]; Widdershins ends up becoming a weird big brother figure instead -i say this because Fernald still got along with Widdershins when the photo was taken) and Gregor Anwhistle (who constantly worked beside Fernald’s mother).

As a teen, Fernald learns from his parents that he’s going to be a big brother! he’s excited, because holy **** he gets to be a big brother and teach his little sibling everything! Mrs Widdershins isn’t as excited, but excited enough for Fernald’s sake. Thursday though...he doesn’t really talk about his feelings about his second child. When Fiona is born, Fernald and his mother care and love her. Captain Widdershins and Gregor -and other vfd member that visits the family- dotes over baby Fiona.

Thursday isn’t really involved with the family now, and starts to not come home as much. Eventually after several weeks, he moved out. A divorce happens, giving his ex full custody of the children. Within a month of the divorce proceedings, Captain Widdershins and Mrs. Widdershins begin dating. After the divorce is finalize, Widdershins finally pops the question, and Mrs. Widdershins actually becomes Mrs. Widdershins. Fernald is a bit weirded out by the fact his metaphorical big brother is dating and eventually marries his mother, but nothing really changed between them.

While this is going on, Mrs. Widdershins starts working more and more with Gregor and became close to him. like super close. Close to where Mrs. Widdershins threw herself into flames to make a blind attempt of saving of work they made together. like how a mother tries to save her own child from death.

With mom and Gregor dead, as well as Captain Widdershins ‘maturing’ and demanding respect from Fernald not as a big brother but as a (step)father, Fernald tries contacting his biological dad to ask why he isn’t fighting Widdershins’ adoption. There he learns dad flat out moved away, as well as discovering the reason why dad left via another vfd member *coughkitcough*. While arguments between Widdershins and Fernald were always about the Anwhistle Aquatic fire and Mrs. Widdershins’s death, the ‘ban, ban, absolutely banned’ topic they fought over once and mutually agree to never bring up again is whether Fiona is really Fernald’s half sister.

(Why it became ban is something Widdershins forgot. Fernald remembers though. While upset at first, Fernald realize that in the end, it was Widdershins who returned to them, not Thursday.)

Thursday think Fiona is Gregor’s daughter. The VFD member Fernald talks to takes Thursday’s word as truth. After all, if Gregor and Mrs. Widdershins were willing to betray VFD with the Mycelium, they could have betrayed loyalties to Thursday. With Thursday elsewhere for the next several years, the VFD member gives her opinion on the topic at hand: despite the fast courtship and wedding, Fiona can’t be Widdershins’ kid, because Gregor is more closer in age to Thursday and Fernald’s mother, as well as spending more time with Gregor than Widdershins before Fiona’s birth. Thursday’s last words to her before he left the city is that he thinks Widdershins got seduced (the vfd member didn’t lie here).

Fernald think Fiona is Widdershins’ daughter. For starters, mom really did agree to date Widdershins after dad asked for a divorce. And she really did married someone who is a big brother figure to Fernald. Problem is, Fernald is already upset at the idea mom is a cheater. With the vfd member having such a low opinion on mom over the mycelium, Fernald doesn’t want to think of the possibility mom seduced Widdershins. So Fernald thinks Widdershins is the homewrecker, and just because Widdershins is Fiona’s dad doesn’t give him the right to be a father to him [Fernald].

Widdershins thinks Fiona is Thursday’s daughter. Just because he [Widdershins] and Mrs. Widdershins got to together fast doesn’t mean he was sleeping with her before hand. Sometimes people naturally fall in love and get marry fast. Widdershins even tells Fernald that Mrs. Widdershins loved Thursday and would never had betrayed him [Thursday] in any way, and that he [Widdershins] would never ruin anyone’s marriage (Widdershins legitimately thought Fernald and Fiona’s parents were the types to stay together until death).

Meanwhile, back at the ranch, Thursday had asked VFD to move him away from any major water related places. At this point, Thursday still have tiny respect for Gregor and his ex. When VFD asked the reason why, Thursday said he and his ex-wife agreed to not see it each other for the time being (the divorce was not amicable). So now, Thursday works in the city.

Thursday meets up with many sugar bowl generation members. There he meets Miranda, and they began dating. Thursday is hesitate to go further, because he got word from kit his ex agreed to married Widdershins (Thursday wonder why his ex and Gregor didn’t hook up). As time passes, he thinks Miranda is the one and finally popped the question. They had a small wedding with two guests because they don’t have the money: Miranda’s sister Olivia and another VFD member kit sent in N’s place because N is on a mission. After the marriage, the two decided to go to the island with other VFD members. Thursday gives his two cents about the newly wedded Widdershins, and leaves.

While happy with his new wife and the idea of their future child Friday, Thursday comes the realization he misses being an active member of VFD (Ishmael’s rule of the Island factor into it). While not as young as he used to be, Thursday still wants to help the noble side, even in the smallest ways. After an argument with Miranda about retirement and protecting their child from the rest of the world, Thursday ends up leaving, hoping that someday Miranda will follow suit and take their child back to the mainland.

Thursday being on the island pretty much caused him to go through an update crash course on what the hell happened. He is a bit surprised his son switched sides; but he does not believe Fernald has hooks for hands. In regards to Fiona, Thursday heard not kit but from ike and josephine that Widdershins adopted Fiona shortly after Fernald switched sides.

Thursday frankly decided to keep a safe distance from the Widdershins family as a precaution of Fiona wanting to visit him. In fact, upon his return, Thursday does everything to avoid getting into contact with them, to where they have no idea the man even return from the island.

By the time of The End/Chapter Fourteen, the last piece of news regarding Fernald and Fiona Thursday hears is more of a rumor: they’re back in the city and in the care of Widdershins, and for some reason they’re living with Gregor’s brother (Thursday thought D never adopted H in time before her death), who may or may not have adopted the Quagmires children? Thursday has enough trouble enough trying to verified the rumor Miranda and Friday are back on mainland, having the incredibly deadly viper as a pet.

#asoue #a series of unfortunate events #fiona widdershins #fernald #hook handed man #captain widdershins #mrs widdershins #miranda caliban #friday caliban #gregor anwhistle #this is a text post #this is proof i shouldn't think of theories and headcanons in the dead of night #theory #book verse headcanon

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