#as soon as I saw that play I thought we need a fic about Patrick on the town council | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

rosesvioletshardy · 3 years

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4 times he tried saying i love you, and the 1 time he did - nolan patrick

so this was for the Summer Fic Exchange that @antoineroussel hosted this year and i got assigned to write a fic for @luvsherleafs

this was my first time doing a fic exchange so it took me a while to figure out what i wanted the fic to be about and making sure i met the requirements - so far i had a few mutuals read it so it made sense and that nothing was wrong so i'm hoping you liked it

*i couldn’t exactly think of anything to write at first so i used multiple prompts from both this list and this list*

the prompts i used/based the fic off are: person A can’t sleep so they wake up person B - person B is exhausted but they stay awake with person A until person a falls asleep +

“I wanted to say i love you for the first time without stuttering but that failed”

warnings: mention of injuries, fluff

# of words: 4,901

nolan masterlist

main masterist

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1. After a game

There were many benefits that came out of your friendship with Nolan. Never having to use a step stool whenever he came over because of his height and how he was tall enough to reach the highest shelves. Even growing up, he’ll sometimes put things up high so you’ll have to ask for his help or getting to go to games and sometimes getting to see the behind the scenes stuff before and after games. He was one of the nicest people you could call a friend, even if sometimes he looked like he was virtually unapproachable. It just depended on who he was with but overall he was one of the nicest people you know, and could trust and depend on him.

The final buzzer sounded off at the Wells Fargo center, signaling the end of the game. You tried to hide yourself in the crowd for the entirety of the game and hoped Nolan wouldn’t see you. He was a little disappointed you couldn’t make it to the game because of work, especially when he was playing hockey professionally for the first time again after a rough season and managed to get a hat trick, wishing you could see it, and tried to hide the sadness behind his celebration during the game.

People began to exit celebrating the win as you waited until it was clear enough to go back. It was normal at this point for you to wait by the doors of the locker room seeing that everyone knew who you were after seeing you multiple times with Nolan. The doors opened as each player began to leave with their respective partner if they came to the game while everyone said their goodbyes. Travis noticed you quickly by the familiar “Patrick 19” jersey you wore and you glanced back at your phone as he walked up to you.

“Hey stranger,” someone said, making you jump

“Jesus TK, don’t do that!” you told him, grabbing your chest before hugging him.

“Patty’s just doing an interview right now so he’ll be out soon,” he said as Karly walked up to the two of you.

“Figured, seeing how he played tonight,” you replied as Nolan exited the room, just ready to go home

“Alright man, I’m done are-” Nolan began, but broke into a smile when he saw you.

“You’re here? I thought you had work?” he said surprised, giving you a hug.

“Well technically I did but I managed to get off early. And by early I mean, I have to go in early tomorrow,” you explained as you pulled away from his hug.

“Well that sucks but I’m glad you made it!” He gave you another hug, as TK and Karly left.

“Of course I would make it and I’m glad I did.” You started to walk out, but he stopped you.

“Thanks, uh,.” Nolan hesitated, wanting to get his feelings together to tell you how he feels. “There’s something I need to tell you.”

“Go ahead, what is it?”

“Uh, we’ve been friends for a long time and I started to realize something...” he started,

“What I realized was-”

“Patty! C’mon! We’re going to celebrate!” Claude yelled over at him.

“What were you saying? It sounded important, tell me as we walk.”

“No, it’s fine. Um, it can wait.”

“You sure?”

“Yeah of course,” he nodded as they left together, upset to lose the chance to tell you while riding an adrenaline high and good energy

2. After a heartbreak

It hadn’t been that long since Nolan tried to tell you how he really feels. He knew what he was doing especially since you were already in a relationship and didn’t want anything to ruin your friendship. It’s what runs through his mind most of the time but he sees you’re always happy when you’re out with the person you’re dating and sometimes it hurts him but he won’t admit anything yet.

It was another Friday night and while it was still the regular season it didn’t mean that he didn’t get to have days off. When he did, he tried to enjoy them as much as he could since they gave him time to think, whether it was just about hockey or if it was just about his personal life, and it was some of the few times where he didn’t have to worry as much. The most he did that day was go for a run, skate, and run errands, now he was relaxing watching whatever piqued his interest. Nolan was soon snapped out of his thoughts when he heard knocking on his door. He didn’t order any food nor was he expecting anyone to be at his and Kevin’s apartment for the night since Kevin was out and had his own keys. Pausing his movie, he got up and opened the door to find you standing there with tears streaming down your face.

“Hey what happened?” Nolan asked, concerned, stepping aside to let you in.

“He cheated on me,” was all you could say when you walked into the apartment and into his arms for a much-needed hug.

Nolan couldn’t help but tense up a bit after you told him that but quickly relaxed and took you to the couch to sit down. Going into the kitchen to grab you some water, he thought about whether it was the right time to tell you how he felt. When he came back he found you drying your eyes before looking up at him as he handed you the water and sat back down.

“You okay now?” he asked, not knowing what to say

“I don’t know how I feel. I’m feeling so many things at once, but now I just feel like I’ve been betrayed. I told him he has until tomorrow evening to leave,” you tried to explain but can’t help feeling frustrated. Nolan nodded, listening to you and shaking off the urge to hurt the guy, knowing it would hurt you more.

“Do you want to stay here tonight and then tomorrow I can go with you back to your place?”

“Yeah I’d like that. I’m sorry for bothering you on one of your days off-”

“Y/N, it’s fine. You can always count on me to help you no matter what is going on or what happened.”

“Thanks Patty, you’re gonna make a lucky girl so happy someday,” you smiled at him, not knowing how badly he wanted to be with you.

“Yeah I hope so,” he mumbled, watching you get comfortable and engrossed in the movie.

Throughout the rest of the movie Nolan couldn’t pay attention to what was playing on his tv and just let it play until he looked down and realized you’d fallen asleep with your head on his chest. It was late and he didn’t want to disturb you, but still wanted you to sleep comfortably. He gently shook your shoulder and whispered your name to wake you..

“Hey, Y/N? C’mon let’s get to bed. You don’t want to sleep on the couch, I’ll sleep in the guest room and you can take my bed,” Nolan said, and he picked you up to take you to his room. You were too tired to protest and your head still hurt from all the crying so you couldn’t argue with him.

Nolan laid you down on his bed before pulling the covers up and leaving some painkillers on the nightstand for you to take in the morning in case your head still hurt. You soon closed your eyes again as Nolan left his room to get settled in the guest bedroom for the night. It wasn’t his bed and he had trouble sleeping but soon his eyes started to close with the tv in the background as he thought about you before slowly falling asleep. The only problem was that you weren’t able to sleep. After Nolan left, you felt your sense of security and the one person you knew you could always trust was in the other room. You wanted him to be with you but you didn’t want to bother him thinking that he’d be most likely asleep after seeing him try to hide his yawns when you were venting to him. After staring at the ceiling for a few minutes, you got up and went to the living room to see if he was there before not finding him there. Slowly going back, you decided to check the guest bedroom and slowly opened the door to find him asleep with the tv on. At first you didn’t know whether or not to awaken him before walking in quietly. You never noticed how peaceful he looked when he slept and it killed you to wake him.

“Nolan?” you whispered hoping he’d wake up, but he didn’t. The most he did was go from sleeping on his side to his back.

“Nols? Patty?” you tried one more time, this time shaking his shoulder. He opened his eyes, momentarily disoriented.

“Y/N? You okay?”

“Yeah, I just couldn’t sleep. Couldn’t stop thinking, and I felt safer with you and-” “It’s okay, c’mon,” he said, scooting over making room in the bed.

“You sure?”

“Yeah, it’s just sleeping,” he said, cringing slightly at his words.

“Just sleeping,” you echoed, in a thoughtful tone that you’re not sure he noticed as you slipped into the bed beside him.

Despite being more comfortable, too many thoughts were running through your head, keeping you from relaxing.

“Nols?”

“Hmm.”

“Are you mad that I didn’t listen to you the first time you met him?” you asked hesitantly, scared of his answer.

“I’m not mad, it was your choice to make. I’m just disappointed ‘cause you deserve a lot better.”

“Thanks. I’m too tired to talk about it anymore.” You roll over to face him.

“It’s okay. What do you want to talk about?” He gave your arm an encouraging rub.

“I’d rather hear what’s on your mind.”

“Oh, just how the rest of the season is going to go, if anything’s going to set me back, how much I l-” he cut himself off

He didn’t want to put any pressure on you by admitting his feelings while you were vulnerable, and especially didn’t want to lose your friendship

“How much you what?”

“How I value our friendship…”

“Yeah, keep talking...” you said sleepily and he continued to talk about his hockey schedule, and what plans he wanted to make for the off season if they didn’t make playoffs… and so on until you both dozed off

3. At a party

It was the holidays which meant holiday parties happening and you were going to be invited to every single one of them. You somehow managed to make up excuses for some that you didn’t want to attend, saying you had either other plans or that your family was in town and you wanted to spend time with them. At this point you didn’t remember whose party you’d gone to and whose party you hadn't gone to. The only one you felt most comfortable attending was Claude and Ryanne’s annual Christmas party. It was an expected invite considering how close you became with the team after they understood how close your friendship was with Nolan. They felt like a second family now..

The house was crowded with the team and their families, children running around and playing with each other, adults watching them carefully while talking to each other as Christmas music played softly in the background. You were talking to Karly and Ryanne about the rest of the season and your plans for the holidays. You glanced over Karly’s shoulder to see Nolan chatting with Phil and Bee before locking eyes with yours and smiling. The two women noticed you were distracted and exchanged glances, before Ryanne spoke up.

“So, Y/N, when are you and Nolan going to stop eye fucking and admit your feelings for each other?” she asked you innocently, making you choke on your drink.

“What?” you squeaked in confusion.

“You and Nolan? I mean we know you like each other.”

“No, we-- we’re just friends. I’m still fresh from a breakup— I’m not--.”

“Oh please-” Karly began, but Nolan interrupted just in time.

“Hey, can I borrow you?”

“Yeah, I’ll talk to you two later,” you say, ignoring the knowing smirks on their faces as they sipped their drinks and turning their backs to you while walking away

You and Nolan made your way through the crowd of party-goers, making sure not to hit any of the kids. Stepping onto the porch, Nolan closed the doors before walking over to where you were leaning over the wood railing. The night was quiet and the only noise that the two of you could hear was the faint holiday music playing back inside the house. Neither one of you spoke but you could tell that Nolan wanted to say something by the way he was fidgeting and hesitating when he’d try to speak..

“I need to tell you something.”

“Can we talk?”

You spoke at the same time, making you laugh.

“Go ahead, you go first. You seemed like you needed to get something off your chest,” you say, and his shoulder relaxes a little.

“Thanks. I haven’t been sure how to say this,” ” Nolan started

“There’s this girl, and a lot of people seem to know I like her, the only problem is, whenever I try to tell her I get interrupted…”

“I’m sure you’ll get your chance,” you say, unable to truly encourage him, but wanting him to be happy.

“About that, we’ve known each other a long time, and I’ve kept it to myself…” he paused to take a deep breath, clearly nervous

“What is it?” you asked, hating to see him uncomfortable

“Y/N, I’ve been scared to say--”

“Hey guys it’s Secret Santa time, c’mon!” Claude called, sticking his head out the door.

“We’ll be right there!” you replied before turning back to Nolan.

“What were you going to say?” you questioned as he shook his head with a sigh.

“I don’t wanna have to rush through it, let’s not keep them waiting.” he said giving an awkward smile before walking towards the doors. You didn’t say anything as a frown etched upon your face before shaking it off and putting on a fake smile and walking back inside.

The rest of the night was filled with curiosity, this was the third time he tried to tell you something but someone or something got in the way. The rest of the night he couldn’t keep his eyes off you as you laughed and talked with everyone as they opened with whatever gag gift they had gotten.

4. During a training session

You’d do anything for Nolan and he knew that. You were there with him during his draft day and he would always text and call throughout the entire time he was getting drafted. Whenever he asked you to go to a game before and after the NHL you’d always make sure that you didn’t have anything to do that day so you could go. There was only one thing you gritted your teeth through, and that was training with him. It didn’t matter whether it was on the ice or whether it was lifting weights you’d still go with him, because you liked the quality time you got to spend with him. He usually would cut you some slack if you looked really tired, and just let you sit on the bench while he finished his sets. This was one of those days where he had asked you to train with him by himself before the rest of the season continued after the holidays.

Nolan was up early and already at your apartment ready for the day while you were still in bed before he knocked on your door. He knocked multiple times until he finally decided to use his spare keys. As he was about to insert the key, you opened the door, tired with a look on your face while he was smiling ready for the day.

“Nolan, you’re one of my oldest best friends and I love you, but I hate your guts right now.” you said grouchily while walking away and into the kitchen after letting him inside, missing his pained expression over your ‘I love you’.

“You agreed, and offered to be my workout buddy when everyone else bailed. So technically this is on you. You could’ve politely declined and that would’ve been fine, you know that” he said as he grabbed some mugs for the coffee you started to prepare for the two of you

He got caught up watching you move about your kitchen, comfortable and beautiful even though you’d argue that you were a mess. No matter what you were wearing or how you looked, Nolan would always compliment you in some way. It was until he noticed that the shirt you were wearing was one of his from his Brandon Wheat Kings days making him smile at the memory of you at his last game with them. He never had a problem with you taking his clothes seeing how often you stayed at his place, both in Philly and in Winnipeg and he offered you to wear his, especially if you two went out and you were wearing something uncomfortable.

Nolan snapped out of his thoughts when he heard the coffee machine beep before grabbing it and poured it into the mugs, preparing yours by memory before handing it over to you. The two of you exchanged light chit chat until you went to get changed to head to the gym and not the ice today based off of his outfit.

The ride to the Flyers gym was quiet. You usually got to listen to Nolan talk about his plans for the offseason if they didn’t make it to the playoffs or anything that came to his head, but not today. You could tell something was bothering him. The only sound through the entire ride was the playlist he had made for the two of you that shared all your favorite songs, even songs you loved that you didn’t tell him or show him were on the playlist.

When you both arrived, you both went your separate ways and did your own things. You couldn’t help but look at him whenever he did pull ups, his shirt rising a little, showing off his v line, and you needed to try to focus on keeping good form while you lifted your weights. You got lost in your thoughts so much that you were startled when Nolan touched your shoulder to get your attention.

“Sorry, you were really deep in through. You okay?”

“Yeah of course. What do you need?”

“I need you to spot me,” he said

“Sure, sorry I have a lot running through my mind right now.”

“I know the feeling.” He grunted as he added weights onto the bar.

Nolan began his set while you spotted him, and you were unable to resist taking a peek at the tattoos that scattered his thighs, noticing a new one next to the winged heart. A small ghost and a tall ghost, an homage to your Halloween costumes as kids that you’d thought would be funny because neither one of you could think of anything better. He hadn’t mentioned it to you, only the ghost on the skateboard.

“Hey, when did you get the ghosts tattooed?” you asked when he set the weight down

“Um, not too long ago, I got the one on the skateboard and it felt incomplete so I got the little one too. Completely slipped my mind.” He laughs, seeming a little embarrassed

“I love it, it feels nostalgic,” you say with a smile

You headed over to where the medicine balls were and grabbed one to do some squats, and Nolan decided now was as good a time as any. You were alone, and couldn’t possibly be interrupted. So he swallowed his nerves and walked over to you.

“You’ve been such a support system for me since we were teenagers, and the tattoo reminds me of that,” he began.

“I think it’s really sweet, Patty,” you replied

“The guys have always teased me like brothers since I joined the team and I told them about you, and how important you are to me...” he stated as you listened carefully

“And during those times they would always make fun of me for never saying this but, Y/N, I lo-” he tried to say before getting cut off by the door opening loudly revealing Coots and Jake

“Are you fucking kidding me?!” Nolan groaned under his breath, heading out of the gym without another word.

“What was that about?” Coots asked.

“Something about his tattoo?” You said, unsure, and quickly grabbed both of your stuff to catch up with Nolan.

+ 1

5. After an injury

Going to games was a normal thing for you. Nolan made sure there was a ticket reserved in your name for every home game so you could attend. At first you were more comfortable in the stands than in the box with the wags, but eventually you would join them later on. The only time you didn’t watch a game in the box was whenever you were on a date and they had suggested you go to a game. He hadn’t minded, preferring to see you happy and not upset and that you had a good time with them. During those times, he would do anything to get your attention and show off that you were friends with a professional hockey player. You’d give him the side eye while glaring at him, occasionally telling him to stop messing around before going over to where a kid was around you and tossing them a puck.

That was one of the things he enjoyed about being a player, not only his love for the sport but also seeing kids happy. You always enjoyed watching him play but it also sometimes made you nervous seeing how accident prone he was, especially knowing he’d do anything to protect his teammates. He was a big guy, but some of the guys he went head to head with were bigger and it couldn’t end well. It made you worry that fighting could worsen his migraines and how he already had to sit out an entire season because of them. He would lie about being in pain but you could see right through him.

He had gotten his migraines under control when they happened but you always knew that something could trigger them again. You’re the first person he’d admit to being in pain to, and you’d always help him through the migraines until he felt better again. Nolan sometimes felt bad that you’d put your life on hold just so you could be with him no matter how many times he’d told you that you didn’t have to stay. It was one of the reasons why he loved you. You’d always put others before yourself and would take time out of your day to make sure that they were okay.

You were sitting in the box with Karly, talking ahead of the game, watching Moose lead them out onto the ice for warmups before the game against the Rangers. You saw how Nolan began to skate around half the ice while shooting pucks in trying to get past Moose. Karly noticed the way you were watching Nolan, but kept her thoughts to herself, already knowing about all the interrupted confessions through TK. She knew things would fall into place for you both, at the right time.

The game was going rather smoothly against the Rangers during the first and second period, despite no one scoring but close goals happening a few times. Third period is when it started to worry you because of how you saw Nolan becoming frustrated with himself after missing a shot. It wasn’t until a couple minutes later that he was shoved into the boards head first, causing his helmet to come off. You jumped out of your seat and grabbed Karly’s hand, hoping he’d get up as his teammates skated over to him. You knew it was serious when you spotted the team medic and saw TK pick him up to get him off the ice and into the locker room.

You waited a few minutes to see whether or not he’d come back and sit on the bench but it wasn’t happening, so you got up and headed to the locker room. You were used to his injuries throughout his entire hockey career both in the NHL and in juniors but they still scared you every time and you didn’t want him to miss the rest of the season, especially if they needed to clinch a spot in playoffs.

Before you got to the locker room you ran into TK, who was coming to look for you

“Is he okay?”

“He could be worse. He won’t be able to finish the game and might miss a few more... they want him to get an MRI just in case,” Travis explained as the two of you reached closer to the door

You walked in moments later, and found Nolan reclining, clutching an ice pack to his head over a towel. He was staring at the ceiling trying to keep himself focused and alert. He turned to look at you, sitting up straighter and gave you a weary smile already knowing what you were going to say but nothing came out. You couldn’t say anything but returned his smile, sitting next to him on the free chair as Travis gave Nolan an encouraging nod and returned to the game.

“Hey,” he mumbled.

“Hi, how are you feeling?” you asked, brushing the stray hairs away from his face.

“I feel peachy keene,” he tried to joke, making you smile a bit as he cleared his throat.

“Hurts like a bitch,” he admits quietly

“And I broke my promise to you again.”

“It’s hockey, fights and falls happen.” You grabbed his free hand

He knew that was his chance to finally tell you seeing that no one can interrupt him this time as Travis told them to wait a while before they go in after the game before he left to get you. He took a deep breath and all the anxiety he was feeling left his body.

“Y/N, I need you to listen to me for a sec.”

“Yeah, of course, go ahead,” you replied with a concerned look on your face.

“We’ve been friends since we were in middle school. You were the new kid and I was the dorky kid that sat next to you.” he started as you smiled at the memory

“It took you a while to warm up to me since I annoyed you almost every single day trying to get you to talk and it worked. You’ve stuck by me since then. Through my horrendous mullet that you hated, whether it was my natural hair color or the bleach blond which I don’t regret by the way, even though I know you hated it, and now with my professional career. You’re always with me throughout all of my injuries and you were with me when I got drafted. Hell, you even moved to Philly with me even though I didn’t ask you too. My family loves you and considers you as another child to them. I’ve seen you at your worst and at your best, your happiest and your saddest,” he groaned at the end, having rushed through the words, making his head throb.

“I've been in love with you for the longest time and I’ll always be in love with you,” he stuttered through, throat already dry from his confession

Your silence makes him worry, and he tries to look at your face, but you smile and he relaxes.

“You’re so important to me. I never wanted to ruin our friendship by admitting my feelings…I love you too.” You say as your words made him look at the ceiling, as his cheeks flushed

“We’ve been hurting our own feelings about each other, haven’t we?” he laughed looking back over at you

“Yeah we have,” you agreed

“If I’m honest, I wanted to say I love you for the longest time without stuttering or failing and it happened” he laughed before continuing

“Can I-”

You interrupted him with a kiss, reading his mind. When you pulled away, you rested your foreheads against each other for a moment, pulling away just in time to see around 18 men pour through the door on top of each other, looking at the two of you before quickly getting up, making you two laugh.

“Sooo?” Travis asked.

Neither of you spoke a word, holding up your intertwined hands and smiling, causing everyone to start cheering, but immediately shushing themselves when they saw Nolan wince at the loud noise.

“I'll let you get changed. I’m going to go wait with the other girls. I love you.” you said to him kissing his forehead, avoiding his cut and stroking his hair again.

“I love you too. I’m so glad I get to say that now. I’ll see you outside”

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nol-an · 3 years

Text

when our stars aligned || n. patrick

hello everyone! i’m super excited to finally be posting this slow burn, friends-to-lovers fic that has been in the works for almost a month now!

grab a drink and some snacks, this one’s 12.5k words (and not proofread oops)! as always, feedback is appreciated <3 enjoy!

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+ her

Your sweater-clad figure collapsed into your plush mattress as soon as you finished your last assignment for the day. After a hell week of university, you couldn’t wait to spend the rest of your night de-stressing and indulging in the bottle of wine that had been calling your name since the beginning of the week. You wanted nothing more than to catch up on the Bachelorette —because who doesn’t love trash TV— and to coil yourself in blankets for the rest of the night.

On the other hand, your best-friend-slash-roommate, Maya, had different plans. She was fully convinced that the only proper remedy to your school-induced slump was a night out on the town. However, you knew that Maya’s plans for you would really just result in you third-wheeling her and her boyfriend, Joel. You don’t even need to ask your friend to know that Joel would be coming along too because the two were a package deal. Although you don’t mind Joel and think he’s a wonderful match for your long-time friend, the last thing you need is to be awkwardly tagging along with the sometimes overly-affectionate couple.

After a back-and-forth negotiation that seemed to last hours, you finally agreed to Maya’s proposition after she offered to wash the dishes and take out the trash for the next two weeks. You still expressed that you wouldn’t be happy if you came across any Bachelorette spoilers while you were out with Maya and Joel, but eventually, your mind became occupied by thoughts of what to wear. Deciding not to think too much into your outfit, you settled for a Pittsburgh Penguins pullover and your comfiest pair of black jeans. You sprayed yourself with perfume and glanced in your mirror one last time before leaving your room with the hopes of returning to your tempting bed soon.

As Joel’s car pulled into the parking lot of your and Maya’s apartment complex, you soon noticed a figure in the passenger seat. Squinting to see if you recognized the man, all you could deduce was that he had long hair and florid cheeks. Turning to Maya in confusion, your best friend looked unbothered as a grin spread across her face at the sight of her boyfriend. You trailed behind her as she jogged towards Joel’s car. She promptly gave him a peck on his cheek before giving the stranger in the passenger seat a hug. Huh, so maybe he wasn’t a stranger after all.

It only took you a few seconds afterwards to realize what was going on.

You were going to kill Maya.

As if she read your mind, your best friend waved you over to the car. Deciding to play nice for the sake of Maya and her excitement, you plastered on your best I-don’t-want-to-be-here-but-you-don’t-know-that smile, and greeted the two guys.

“Y/N, this is Nolan, one of Joel’s friends,” Maya explained. “I know you said you didn’t wanna third wheel, so Joel and I, being the wonderful friends we are, took what you said to heart,” she laughed as she watched your smile twitch a little.

It always took you a while to warm up to strangers and being your best friend of three years, Maya knew you were going to give her an earful after the night was over. So, she figured she’d at least have some fun while she was at it. Your eyes sent daggers in her direction before you waved at Joel and stuck your hand out to greet Nolan.

Other than his small smile that you would’ve missed if you weren’t as observant, Nolan didn’t give much indication that he wanted to be here, either. Great. You couldn’t read his expressions, but you hoped to god that this night wouldn’t be as awkward as you think it’s going to be.

Shortly after the introductions, you and Nolan are squeezed into the back of Joel’s car as him and Maya bicker over who should get the aux. Rolling your eyes, you turn to Nolan, who looks quite amused at the couple’s antics. Figuring it wouldn’t hurt to break the ice, you attempted to start a conversation with Nolan.

“I’m guessing this isn’t the first time you’ve been stuck in the same space as Joel and Maya, either?” you joked.

He chuckled and angled his body a little closer towards you. “Unfortunately it’s not. If I’m being honest, this is not how I envisioned my Friday night going.”

Immediately processing his own words, a blush formed across his cheeks. “I- that’s not what I meant. I mean, I’m sure you’re a wonderful person, but Joel told me that we were getting food with Maya. I didn’t know this,” he used his right hand to gesture around the car, “was his actual plan,” he explained.

You couldn’t stop the giggle that escaped your lips, your eyes glinting with amusement. “I’m in the same boat. No one mentioned that you were coming, but honestly, I’m glad I’m not third-wheeling because I wanna puke every time they get too lovey-dovey.”

Nolan nodded in agreement, “You know what, Y/N? I think we’re gonna get along just fine.”

Relieved that Nolan was a lot less intimidating than you initially thought, you agreed with his comment and thanked the gods that this night was starting to look up.

“But there is one issue,” Nolan spoke up.

Your raised eyebrows cued him to speak again.

“I don’t know how I feel about that Pens sweatshirt of yours.”

+ him

“Dude, what the fuck are you doing?” an amused Kevin Hayes emerged from his room. He’d been living with Nolan for quite some time now, but the last thing he expected was to wake up to the sight of his roommate organizing their apartment, dust swiffer and all. There was even a vase of fresh flowers that Kevin sure as hell didn’t buy or remember seeing last night.

“Isn’t it fucking obvious, Hayesy? I’m cleaning the place,” Nolan deadpanned.

“Ok firstly, no shit. I was hoping you’d explain why you’re cleaning. I didn’t even know we had this much cleaning supplies,” Kevin quipped back, glancing over at the array of window and wood cleaner that was haphazardly strewn across the kitchen counter.

“Y/N is coming over,” Nolan curtly responded. He didn’t need to turn his focus away from scrubbing away the stove top’s stains to know that his roommate had a shit-eating grin on his face.

“I thought you said the two of you were just friends?”

“Can’t friends hang out?” Nolan retaliated.

“Sure, they can. But why are you disinfecting this whole place? Teeks comes over all the time and you never do this for him,” Kevin pointed out. He knew Nolan enough to know that you weren’t “just a friend.” Nolan talked about you way too much for that to be the case.

“It’s the first time she’s coming over. I just don’t want her thinking we live in a pigsty,” Nolan started, “which is gonna be a little difficult considering you leave your shit all around the place. Plus, don’t act like you’ve never cleaned the place up when you’ve had someone over.”

Kevin was having a little too much fun messing with Nolan. “Okay, first of all, that was one time. And it was for a girl I liked,” Kevin enunciated his last word.

Nolan knew Kevin had a point, but he’d be damned if he let Hayesy know that. Nevertheless, Nolan’s silence gave it away, and that was all Kevin needed to rest his case.

“Deny your feelings all you want, but I know you like her — even if you don’t even know it yourself. Don’t be surprised when I say ‘I-told-you-so,’” Kevin laughed as he headed towards the front door. “m’Gonna head out, but text me if you need anything. Maybe confess your feelings for Y/N while you’re at it.”

Nolan flipped off his roommate. Sometimes he was sure that Kevin was a middle-schooler trapped in a grown man’s body. Why couldn’t you and him be friends without feelings being involved? Nolan was sure you only saw him in a platonic light and he was perfectly fine with that. If anything, he was glad to have met you — in the few months you’ve been in his life, you’ve become a breath of fresh air from his circle of Flyers friends. Sure, he didn’t think the two of you would talk again after the little number that Maya and Joel pulled, but he was glad that his friendship with you bloomed. Not only was he glad to know someone else to tolerate Maya and Joel’s shenanigans with, but he enjoyed how you made him feel like he didn’t have to maintain any facade. Your welcoming aura appreciated Nolan as the goofy, indie music-obsessed Winnipeg native — not a Flyers centerman who was more often than not, under the microscope of Philly and NHL media. He was perfectly content with the friendship and appreciated the soothing presence you offered. Wasn’t that enough of an indication that the two of you were just friends?

Within the next twenty minutes, three knocks on the door vibrated through the apartment, and Nolan rushed to the door to greet you. A smile gleamed on your face and you greeted Nolan with a hug. Although it was your first time hanging out at Nolan’s place — the two of you usually stuck to more public locations — nothing about the exchange was awkward and for that, Nolan was extremely thankful. He knew his quiet demeanor could sometimes scare people away, but you didn’t seem to mind it. Instead, you were patient with him and understood that the two of you would become more comfortable around each other as time wore on.

After setting your bag down on the key table, you casually dove into a story about how you nearly couldn’t make it to Nolan’s apartment because you were convinced you lost your keys.

It was nice, nothing felt stiff and Nolan was relieved that the two of you were able to skip the formalities that usually occur when someone visits for the first time.

Once you wrapped up your story, you finally took the chance to look around Nolan’s home. From the look on your face, Nolan knew you were expecting the place to look different. Whether or not that look was a good thing, however, he wasn’t sure.

“Nols, if I’m gonna be honest here, I was not expecting you and Kevin to have such an organized place,” you laughed, your light-hearted tone indicating that you meant it in the nicest way possible.

Releasing the breath he was holding, Nolan chuckled a bit. “Well, don’t get used to it. It’s only this clean like once a month,” he laughed while scratching the back of his neck. He almost contemplated telling you all the trouble he went through to make sure the apartment was clean for you, but a nagging voice in the back of his head told him not to. Probably a good call. “Can I get you anything to drink?”

“Yea, water would be great,” you sat on one of the kitchen’s bar stools and watched Nolan pad over to the fridge. You couldn’t stop yourself from laughing as you peered into the relatively empty fridge.

The hockey player rolled a chilled water bottle over to you, perplexed by your reaction. “If you have something to say, say it to my face,” Nolan attempted to intimidatingly say. His cheery voice and sheepish smile gave away his tough-guy act, though.

“Just wondering how you have like three things in your fridge. What are you supposed to make with two carrots and eggs?” you chuckled.

Nolan feigned offense. “I’ll have you know that my ultra-busy schedule doesn’t let me go grocery shopping much. You should be honored that I was able to fit you into my agenda.” It wasn’t a lie that time didn’t permit Nolan to go shopping for food often, but he knew that if you wanted to hang, he would’ve found a way to make it work. But that’s normal, right? Friends can be excited to hang out with friends, right?

“So I’m guessing your pantry is just as bad?” you inquired.

“Ever the detective, Y/N,” Nolan confirmed. He opened the pantry door, gesturing to the several empty shelves.

Seconds later, the two of you got into a conversation about your favorite snacks. Nolan wasn’t sure how he found so much entertainment from talking about cookies and chips, but he wasn’t complaining. The discussion eventually moved over to the living space of the apartment, where you and Nolan settled on watching “How to Get Away With Murder” before promptly resuming your increasingly-heated debate on the best snacks.

“I don’t think we can be friends anymore, Nols. How could you possibly like goldfish more than cheez-its?” you seriously questioned.

“They’re the superior snack, can’t do anything about that. That’s like asking me to choose between indie and country music, no competition,” Nolan shrugged.

Promising Nolan that you’d one day convince him otherwise, you let the conversation slowly fade out as the show started. The next few hours passed by in a blur. There were some side-conversations here, and there, but the two of you were mainly focused on the show and enjoying each other’s presence.

You’re not sure when it happened, but you and Nolan started sharing the same blanket. Minutes later, you were curled into his side, your head resting lightly on his right shoulder. You were so close to him that you could feel his body rumble with laughter every time you made a witty comment. Despite the position the two of you were in, things didn’t go further than that. You didn’t think much of it and based on Nolan’s concentration on the show, it didn’t seem like he gave it much thought, either.

It was nice. More than nice, really. You became so comfortable that you had to keep yourself from dozing off. Every once in a while, Nolan’s hand would play with your hair, his gentle movements nearly lulling you to sleep.

Eventually, you two found a good stopping point and you told Nolan that you should start heading home, not wanting to overstay your visit. Although Nolan protested, you insisted that you would definitely find another time to see him soon and that he should hang out with Kevin, who had gotten home just a few minutes ago.

“Text me when you get home, alright?”

“Yea, of course. Don’t watch any episodes without me, okay?” you said, sticking out your pinky to make Nolan promise.

“Only if you bring over some of your homemade chocolate-chip cookies that you talked about earlier,” he bargained.

“Deal,” you waved goodbye to Nolan one last time before slipping out the door. “Tell Hayesy I said hi,” you hollered from down the hall.

Speaking of the devil himself, Kevin walked over to Nolan once he shut the door. Before Kevin could even wipe the smirk off his face, Nolan stopped him.

“Just friends, Hayesy,” Nolan reaffirmed.

+ him

Another few months passed on, and everything proceeded as normal. You and Nolan’s bond inevitably grew, and he could confidently call you one of his best friends. You two made an effort to hang out at least every other week, and your plans ranged from short weekend getaways to study sessions where Nolan attempted to help you cram for tests. Nolan loved every second he spent with you, and he was more than grateful that Maya and Joel had introduced you to him. Eventually, the hang-out regimen that you and Nolan had developed started wavering as the universe had different plans for you two. You had totally forgotten about a major ten page paper you had to do and with the season starting soon, Nolan was back to practices and workout sessions nearly every day.

You two texted and FaceTimed, though, so not all was a lost cause. Especially for Nolan, it felt as if he was spending every minute of his free time talking to or texting you — not that he minded it, anyway. The text conversations were always light-hearted and mostly consisted of funny tweets and song recommendations. Even when you and Nolan called, your minds that were typically flooded with thoughts of school or hockey became more relaxed upon hearing the other’s voice.

After wrapping up a morning skate with Travis, Nolan checked his phones for any notifications.

Hayesy: Y/N is here. Not sure why but she was looking for you.

With panicked eyes, Nolan tried to think of all of the reasons why you’d be at his apartment. The blood nearly drained out of his face at the thought of making plans with you and accidentally forgetting, but he reassured himself that there was no way that was the case.

Is she okay???? Nolan quickly texted before running into the showers.

Nolan had never showered and changed that quickly, and he was almost positive that he put his shirt on backwards as he ran to his car. He mentally cursed Kevin, who for some reason thought it was acceptable to send him a cryptic text about you without any follow-up. You were usually good about texting Nolan about any updates to your life, so Nolan couldn’t help when his mind started conjuring worst-case scenarios.

Once Nolan got to his apartment complex, he sprinted up dozens of flights of stairs thinking that they’d be faster than the elevator. However, coupled with his growing soreness from his earlier workout, each step on the stairs sent rays of pain through his legs and a regret for thinking the stairs would be a good idea.

After it felt like he had run a marathon, the hockey player finally reached his door. He frustratingly searched for his keys, hoping to god you were okay.

Nolan swung the door open with so much force that he was almost sure he’d have to tighten the screws on its hinges. “Y/N?” Nolan called. His frantic eyes searched for your figure, but he was instead met with the sight of his roommate.

“You just missed her,” Kevin replied from the kitchen. In his hand was what looked like a cookie, and behind him was at least three grocery bags. “I told her to stay because I figured you’d be home soon, but she seemed like she was in a rush. Something about a paper she had,” Kevin elaborated, his mouth full of the cookies. “Did you run here from the rink or something? You look like shit,” Hayesy jokingly noted.

Nolan rolled his eyes at his roommate and sighed, genuinely relieved to know that you were alright. As soon as any of the fears of you being hurt left his system, Nolan started thinking about how he would’ve been able to see you had Travis not persuaded him to run extra drills. It had felt like centuries since he last saw you, and seeing you even just for a second would have undoubtedly made his day better. Dammit, Travis.

Deciding he didn’t want to endure any of Kevin’s teasing, Nolan suppressed his disappointment and tried to subtly get more details out of his roommate.

“She didn’t text me about coming over. What did she need?”

“Well, after making fun of us for our empty fridge and pantry, she said gave me all of these bags,” Kevin gestured to the bags behind him. “Said she visited a grocery store nearby and figured she could get some stuff for us, too,” he continued.

A smile graced Nolan’s face as he recalled the conversation you and he shared about his grocery shopping (or lack thereof) habits.

“She also brought over these cookies she made, but I think I’m gonna have to take these for myself,” Kevin grinned, reaching for another cookie from the tupperware container. “Why do my ‘just-friends’ never bake me cookies?” he nearly moaned at the taste of the treats.

“Maybe because you have no restraint and eat cookies that are meant for your roommate, you jerk,” Nolan remarked.

“Hey, I was being nice by telling you she brought these cookies over. If I really wanted to, I could’ve hid these. You can have a bite, though,” he stuck out his already half-eaten cookie in front of Nolan’s face.

Flipping Kevin off, Nolan walked over to the counter with the bags. Pulling out their contents, he slowly started placing everything in the pantry and fridge. In the second bag, he found a box of cheez-its with a small piece of paper tacked on the top.

Doing you a favor by buying you these, no need to thank me. Miss ya lots <3

Under the message, your name was messily etched onto the lined paper along with a smiley face. Nolan could almost hear your feigned-snarkiness through your note.

Once all of the groceries were put away, Nolan returned to his room. He immediately plugged in his phone before pressing your name under his FaceTime contacts. It only took a couple of rings before you picked up. Your hair was in a loose ponytail, large glasses covering your face. You looked exhausted from the stress you were undoubtedly experiencing because of your soon-to-be-due paper, but your positive personality radiated through Nolan’s phone screen nonetheless.

“Should I feel guilty that my snack collection was so pathetic that a busy college student felt compelled to take time out of their day to buy me food?” Nolan joked.

“I felt guilty that we had been friends for months before I found out that your pantry was that pathetic,” you laughed. “But seriously, don’t worry about it. I was in the area and I know you’ve been super busy recently so I figured I could help you out. The cheez-its were the first thing I saw in the store and I thought of you and that conversation we had when I came to your place for the first time,” you sheepishly responded.

Every few seconds, your eyes would dart back to your laptop, where you were taking notes. Nolan knew that you would never want him to think that he was calling you at a bad time, but the laptop’s reflections on your glasses gave away your act. Of course he felt bad, but he was momentarily distracted by the warm feeling that overcame him. It was such a sweet gesture, and he would be lying if he said he didn’t get butterflies at the sound of your confession.

“Y/N you didn’t have to do this, but I really appreciate it. Thanks for the cookies, too. Pretty sure Hayesy destroyed half of the container before I even got home,” Nolan laughed.

“Oh, gosh,” you started, “in hindsight I probably should’ve texted you to let you know I was coming over, but I wanted to surprise you.”

Upon hearing you words, Nolan’s beaming smile grew impossibly wider. And to his dismay, the butterflies came back for a second time.

“Hey, I gotta go but I promise I’ll text you soon. My prof is out for blood with this assignment,” you groaned. “Maybe we can do dinner at your place now that you have more than two things in your fridge.”

Nolan laughed off your banter and nodded in agreement. He felt like a giddy school girl. “Yea, yea of course. We can pick up on ‘How to Get Away With Murder’ while we’re at it.”

“It’s a date,” you flashed him a thumbs up. “Oh, and I think your shirt’s on backwards,” you giggled and tugged at the collar of your own sweater to emphasize your point. Luckily for Nolan, you hung up before you could see his embarrassed expression.

Had it not been for the fact that you called your upcoming plans with Nolan a “date,” he would have cared more about his shirt issue. But, here he was laying in his bed and already counting down the days until he’d get to see you again.

He knew you meant it as a friend date, but could you blame him for envisioning what it’d be like to go on a romantic date with you? He wanted to bake homemade cookies with you, run his fingers through your hair when you were stressed from school, and become consumed in pointless conversations about anything and everything with you. Hell, he even wanted to help you proofread your school papers, even if he’d have no idea what the fuck the Pygmalion Effect is. He adored so many things about you and was more than willing to jump through hoops and hurdles if it meant he could be your source of happiness and support.

And that’s when Nolan knew he was in trouble. He had never let his mind drift this far, and he usually had enough self-restraint to stop himself from envisioning you as his girlfriend. He knew he needed to stop before he dug a hole for himself that he wouldn’t be able to get out of. But if he was being honest, Nolan quite liked the warm feeling he had from the thought of calling you his.

Oh god.

Nolan was so far gone for you. Kevin knew it, his teammates probably knew it from the dozens of times he managed to bring you up in conversations, and now he certainly knew it for himself. What he didn’t know, however, was if you felt the same feeling of anticipation in the pit of your stomach at the thought of being more than just friends.

+ her

After your FaceTime call with Nolan, you finally gathered enough motivation to finish your paper. You weren’t sure if it was because of your excitement to see Nolan or because you were sick of staring at your screen, but you were nonetheless relieved when you sent off the finalized version of your work.

The two of you eventually settled on meeting at his place on Saturday night, which was only a couple of days away.

If you were being frank with yourself, you knew that you were catching feelings for Nolan, but how could you not? He has immaculate music taste, is a great listener, and always knows the best ways to make your off-days better. Not long after you met him for the first time, you had a feeling that it wouldn’t take long for you to want a more-than-friends relationship with him. In fact, it was frightening to acknowledge how much better your life has been now that Nolan is involved. You were a little embarrassed that he was able to sweep you off your feet as quickly as he did, but you couldn’t control how you felt. Well, that’s at least what you kept telling yourself.

You weren’t entirely sure how to deal with your feelings for Nolan. You relied on familiarity and stability in your life, and if Nolan didn’t reciprocate your feelings towards him, there was no doubt all hell would break loose — at least for you. Per every rom-com you’ve ever watched, you were fully aware that unrequited feelings, in most cases, was a one-way ticket to a doomed and awkward friendship. If confessing your feelings towards an indifferent Nolan meant that your friendship with him would be jeopardized, you would gladly keep your thoughts to yourself.

It was hard, though. Sometimes he treated you like you were the only person in the room, and other times, it felt pretty clear that he only saw you in an extremely platonic light. Of course none of your friends could tell the difference between your interactions with the centerman because they always teased the two of you about needing to finally date each other. However, his mixed-signals convinced you that you had a chance with him on some nights and that you were overthinking everything the next.

As much as you wanted to tell Maya about your dilemma, you knew that she was terrible at keeping secrets. In any other circumstance, you would’ve told her that you liked someone the minute you found out. However, considering how her boyfriend’s a teammate of Nolan, it would have been game over if Joel knew. As much as he prided himself on having a tighter seal on secrets than Maya, he wasn’t much of an improvement from your best friend. You considered telling your other friends because you desperately needed someone to vent-out your feelings to, but you didn’t have the energy to explain how you ended up being wrapped around the fingers of a Philadelphia Flyers player.

So, here you were, in bed and confused. You were counting down the days until you’d get to see Nolan again, but you also wish you had more time to figure out what to do about your feelings. Part of you told you that you could handle pushing away your emotions for the few hours you would be with Nolan. The other (and more obnoxious) part of your brain, though, sent blaring red sirens through your body at the thought of your Plan A. It warned you that internalizing your feelings was a terrible idea and that no matter how tempting it would be to pretend like you weren’t falling for Nolan, maybe it’d be better to just rip off the bandaid and tell him.

You went back and forth between your two plans and were sure that if anyone could take a look into your brain, they would be faced with thoughts that were racing around at a million miles per hour. (And they’d probably have pity on you.)

As if someone was witnessing your inner turmoil fetter within you in real time, it seemed like your prayers for more time were answered when you fell ill with a cold Saturday morning.

Sure, it wasn’t ideal. You sure as hell were not enjoying your congestion and occasional chills, but at least you had plenty of time to sort things out. It was disappointing to know that you wouldn’t get to see Nolan, but he was extremely understanding of your issue. He reassured you that you shouldn’t feel guilty for bailing, especially since you were sick. He even made you promise that you would get plenty of rest and that you wouldn’t apologize for something you couldn’t control.

With those words from Nolan, you took your promise to heart and slipped into a much-needed slumber.

+ him

“So, Patty, care to explain to Teeks what you were planning to use these candles for?” Hayesy teased as he plucked a tealight candle from its spot on the kitchen table.

Kevin knew you and Nolan had made plans for dinner, and he also happened to know that Nolan finally came to terms with his feelings for you. As much as he chirped the younger hockey player, he was glad that Nolan wasn’t beating around the bush anymore. Kevin adored you and had no doubt that you were a perfect match for his friend.

Travis, on the other hand, looked extremely confused. With furrowed eyebrows, he shifted his focus from the television to Nolan, who was sending death glares at his roommate.

“Well, I, um-” Nolan was cut off by Kevin.

“Patty here was gonna have a super-romantic, candle-lit dinner with the girl he’s been pining over for ages,” Kevin excitedly cut to the chase. If a bystander didn’t know any better, they’d think that Kevin was more ecstatic about the dinner than Nolan.

Those words definitely caught Travis’ attention. He got up from his spot from the couch and joined his two friends in the kitchen. “Wow, Pats,” he playfully shoved his friend's shoulder, “took you long enough. Was fully convinced I was gonna have to do something about your weak game.”

Nolan’s eyes widened upon hearing TK’s comments. Was he really that obvious?

He could barely comprehend his feelings for you just a couple of days ago, and he definitely didn’t tell Travis about these newly-discovered feelings yet. He didn’t even plan to tell Kevin about it. He fully intended to have you be the first to know, but Kevin managed to get Nolan to crack.

“Ok, fuck off,” Nolan mumbled. Sure, he was a little slow at realizing his feelings, but better late than never. “Y/N was supposed to come over for dinner tonight, but she’s sick,” Nolan explained. He purposefully left out the fact that he was toying with the idea of confessing his feelings for you after the now-cancelled dinner.

“Oh shit,” Travis was the first to speak up.

“Does that mean you’ll be cooking for us instead?” Kevin added, wiggling his eyebrows towards Nolan and fist-bumping Travis.

“No, I don’t know what it means, but I can tell you right now that there is no way in hell I’m cooking for you two slobs.” Nolan replied. “I was thinking of bringing soup over to her place as a surprise or something.”

At that, both Travis and Kevin’s faces told Nolan that they needed him to elaborate.

“What? She told me that she was craving soup, and Maya is on that road trip with Joel so I figured…” Nolan’s voice gradually decreased in volume.

Travis was the first to interject, “I, for one, think that’s a great idea. Gotta roll with the punches, you know?”

Of course, no conversation between the three guys would be completed without Kevin’s incessant teasing. “We can barely tolerate you when we’re fully healthy — what makes you think Y/N is gonna want to see you while she’s sick?” he chuckled.

“You’re such a pain in the ass,” Nolan groaned.

“You know you love me,” Hayesey playfully blew a kiss in Nolan’s direction. “Here, let TK and me help you with the soup. We gotta make sure it doesn’t make Y/N feel worse than she already does,” he suggested.

+ him & her

Staying true to his words, Kevin made sure Nolan’s attempt at making homemade soup went smoothly. After getting a thumbs-up from both of his teammates, Nolan filled some soup containers up and headed over to your place. He opted out from texting you about his arrival just in case you were sleeping and banked on the possibility that you still had a spare key under the small flower pot in front of your door.

Although Nolan nagged you for the key placement and insisted that it was a terrible hiding place for a key, he was grateful that it was still there when he arrived to your apartment’s door. Quietly letting himself in, he set the soup on the kitchen island before softly calling your name.

He quietly treaded to your room, which he’d only been in twice out of the dozens of times he had come over. Once he poked his head into your bedroom, he couldn’t stop his heart from overflowing with adoration for you. You were swaddled in a mountain of pillows and blankets. Your soft snores flowed through the room, and your messy hair partially covered your content face. You looked like you were at peace, and Nolan was glad to see that you were resting up.

The sight of you filled him with joy and he silently thanked his past-self for not calling and waking you up. Snapping himself out of his trance, Nolan had to remind himself that he was probably being extremely creepy. You probably wouldn’t let him live it down if you caught him, and he knew he wouldn’t have any excuse for his compromising position. Well, other than the fact that he was hopelessly falling for you and that everything you did made his feelings for you increasingly clear.

With it being close to dinnertime, Nolan figured that it wouldn’t be much longer until you woke up. He returned back into the living space of your apartment and found a comfortable place on the suede couch as he waited.

Sure enough, 15 minutes later, you emerged from your bedroom. “Nolan?” you softly murmured. The two syllables were coated in drowsiness, and Nolan swore he would’ve done anything to hear you utter his name like that again.

He looked up from his phone and suddenly had to remind himself how to breathe.

You were wrapped in a wool blanket, but a sliver of your sweater peaked out from the part where your blanket couldn’t fully cover. He’d recognize the black and orange pattern anywhere, but what stuck out to him was the “19” that was spread across the corner of your sweatshirt. Well, it was actually his sweatshirt if he wanted to get technical. His heart was beating out of his chest at the sight of you wearing his clothes and if he wasn’t sure if he was falling in love with you before, he was definitely sure now.

“I-, hi, Y/N. M’sorry for coming over like this, but I knew you said you wanted soup, and my mom has the really great chicken noodle soup recipe, and Teeks and Hayesy even helped me even though I’m not really sure if that was the best idea because Teeks almost mistook cinnamon for cayenne but-” Nolan started to ramble. He wasn’t sure why he was so flustered. It was the first time he’d gone out of his way this much for a girl and he was subconsciously stalling just in case you might’ve perceived his act of kindness as something that was way too creepy and something that supposed just-friends don’t do.

“Nols,” you started, “that’s so sweet of you, but you didn’t have to do that! I could’ve just sent for an UberEats so you wouldn’t have had to go through all of that trouble for me.”

Nolan wanted to stop you and let you know that he’d swim across the Atlantic Ocean for you. However, he settled for something a little less revealing. “Don’t worry, Y/N, I promise I wanted to do this. Plus if I didn’t, how would I have gotten to see you wearing my number?” he smirked.

Your gaze slowly descended to your body, where you were in fact wearing Nolan’s sweater. He forgot to take it home the last time he was over at your place, and you couldn’t help that it looked extremely comfy. A rush of blood and warmth flooded through your face. “I started wearing it because I missed you and it smells like your cologne,” you cringed for including that last detail, “but it’s actually so soft and I don’t think I’ll be returning this,” you tightened the blanket around you to emphasize your point.

Were you trying to kill Nolan? His brain was overloaded with emotions and this was probably the nail in the coffin. This was it for him. In the few seconds following your explanation, he knew he’d do everything in his power to get to see you like this for the rest of his life. He was sure a younger version of himself would’ve laughed at him for being so dramatic, but he also knew that his younger-self hadn’t met you yet.

“You pull off the sweater better than I do, so you can keep it,” he cheekily smiled. His eyes couldn’t decide if they’d rather look at your sleep-pampered face or his sweatshirt that engulfed you.

“What rom-com movie did you pull that line from?” you chuckled.

He dramatically gasped, “I’m truly offended.” He also took note of how you’ve been standing in the same place for minutes, “Also, why are you standing so far away? Promise I don’t bite,” Nolan joked while he reached out in your direction with grabby hands.

“I don’t wanna get you sick. Don’t know how your coach would feel if you caught the cold with the season so close,” you reasoned with a playful tone.

“That’s a later problem. Please c’mere, I missed you too much,” his eyes pleaded with yours. How could you say no when he had that look on his face?

You hesitatingly approached Nolan, still trying to keep your distance from him. You genuinely didn’t want to get him sick, but you were also still deciding about whether or not you wanted to bury away your feelings for him or let him know what was on your mind. You weren’t expecting Nolan to come over, and you were now wishing that you spent some of your snooze time on sorting out your Nolan dilemma.

Taking a few strides forward, you reached the coffee table that was only a meter or so away from Nolan. Apparently that distance was still too far for Nolan, though, because he grabbed for your hand and tugged you into his body. His scent instantly overcame your senses and you promptly relaxed into his hold. Your body was awkwardly positioned over his but his tight grip on you, which shifted down to your hips, gave no sign that Nolan wanted you to get off of him. With this signal, you repositioned yourself so each of your legs found a home on either side of his lap. His arms wrapped around your body, and your chest was pressed against his as you nuzzled your head between the junction of his neck and shoulder.

For a while, neither of you said anything. It was a serene moment and truthfully, neither of you needed to exchange words to express how much you both cared for one another. There was no better way to make up for lost time than to fully appreciate the other’s presence, and neither of you were in a rush to get out of the situation that you two were in.

Occasionally, Nolan would pepper kisses along your hairline and twirl your hair along his fingers. Praying that you couldn’t feel how fast his heart was beating, he tried his best to calm the thoughts that were incessantly running through his mind. Nolan never wanted this delicate moment to end for multiple reasons. Perhaps the biggest reason, though, was because he was trying to formulate the right way to tell you how he felt about you. He wasn’t sure if he’d find a more perfect time than this one, and he wanted to make sure that everything he was going to say to you would properly express how much he cared for you and wanted you in his life as a more-than-friend.

Another few moments passed before he finally mustered up the courage to break the silence.

“I love you,” he breathed out.

He waited for your response, but was only met with a deafening silence. Unfortunately for Nolan, he never got to see your reaction to his confession because your drowsy state seemed to pull you into another sleeping trance just as quickly as Nolan spoke the three words.

+ her

Following the night that Nolan had come over to bring you soup, the two of you became a lot more physically affectionate. Whether it was cuddles on your couch or hugs that lingered for a little too long, you knew you were chartering into dangerous territory. You didn’t treat any of your guy friends in the same way you did Nolan, and somewhere along the road, you knew this shift in dynamic was precariously dancing between the line of platonic and romantic.

Maya and Joel picked up on it, too. Nearly every chance they got, the two attempted to get you or Nolan to finally confess that things had changed. They were never successful, however. Nolan would always brush off Joel’s inquiries and play off the situation. As for yourself, you ultimately decided to keep your feelings to yourself, too scared to lose the special connection you had with Nolan.

You had done a decent job of keeping your feelings locked away in the depths of your heart until the season opener for the Flyers.

Nolan had asked you to go, and as much as you would love nothing more than to root on your best friend, you were called into work at the last minute. You tried your best to see if any of your other co-workers could pick up the shift, but you were stuck watching the game from your phone as you begrudgingly got through your shift. You couldn’t forget the way Nolan’s excited expression fell after you told him you couldn’t make it and even though your shift was scheduled to end during the game’s third period, there was no way you would have made it to the Wells Fargo Center in time.

After your shift, you took out your phone and swiped through your friend’s SnapChat stories. Since Maya went to the game to support Joel, you had the apartment to yourself. Clicking on your best friend’s name on the app, you smiled as you watched the video that she’d put on her story. The Flyers clinched their first win for the season, and based on Maya’s story, it looked like everyone had gone to a nearby bar to celebrate. Despite the fact that her story was a video of Joel, that’s not what caught your attention.

Instead, it was the sight of a man in the background, his arms draped around a girl who was cozily perched upon his lap. His chin was resting on her shoulder, and you knew from the unmistakable rosy cheeks that the man was Nolan. Although the image lasted no more than a few seconds as the frame of Maya’s camera moved, you suddenly felt yourself become nauseous. Your fingers moved by themselves, torturing you as you watched the video over and over again to make sure you weren’t playing mind games on yourself.

You weren’t sure how to react. A mix of hurt and jealousy swarmed your body, sending shivers of confusion through it. You knew you had no right to be so upset. After all, Nolan and you never had a conversation about where you two stood. You two were still just friends — even though you’ve known for a while that your interactions with Nolan have meant much more to you than you’d let on. For all you knew, you could have been mistaking Nolan’s physical affection for something more. For all you knew, the physical affection never made Nolan’s heart beat race in the same way it did with yours.

Nolan wasn’t yours, but you so badly wish he were. You became increasingly frustrated at yourself for letting your heart believe that there was something more between you and Nolan. You knew you were playing a risky game — a game that you had just lost, because it became painfully apparent that Nolan only ever saw you as a friend. The video continued to play, though your clouded vision and mind drowned out its volume. A teardrop slipped down your heated cheeks and pattered onto your phone screen. You berated yourself with what-ifs, wondering if you could have done anything different to be able to call Nolan yours. Maybe it was never meant to be, but that didn’t mean that you didn’t beat yourself up over the situation.

Ditching your plans to immediately sleep after getting home from work, you made a beeline to the kitchen’s wine cabinet. You now let your tears run freely and let yourself drown in affliction. You didn’t even flinch when Maya and Joel entered the apartment, who both rushed to you with concern after they noticed your tear-splotched shirt and face that was swollen and red from crying.

Not used to seeing their typically calm and collected friend in such a state of disarray, the couple wasn’t quite sure how to approach the issue. For what felt like the first time in forever, you decided to be transparent with your thoughts. You had spent so long compartmentalizing your feelings that the need to let them out and the countless glasses of wine had you admitting your feelings for Nolan to the two. You didn’t want their pity, and you were thankful that they let you speak without interruption. Your words, though slurred, clearly explained how you felt foolish for falling for Nolan in the first place. You explained how your friendship with Nolan had evolved into something much more for you and how you couldn’t pretend like you didn’t love him as more than just a friend anymore.

At the end of your spiel, Maya and Joel shared a knowing look with each other. Maya looked like she was fuming, though she tried her best to maintain composure as she pulled you into a hug. You almost missed the way Joel cursed under his breath, calling Nolan an idiot. They were so sure Nolan had felt something towards you, and weren’t sure how to respond when you drunkenly asked what you did wrong for Nolan to be oblivious to the way that you only had eyes for him.

As much as they loved Nolan, they adored you just as much and felt terrible for the pain that you were going through.

Apparently not terrible enough to postpone movie nights, however. Some time down the road, you, Nolan, Maya, Joel, Travis, and Kevin made a habit of gathering for a few hours each week to watch movies and hang out. You almost forgot about it in your moping state until Maya brought up a few days later that it was your and Maya’s turn to host. The blood drained out of your face when she reminded you, and your first instinct was to come up with an excuse to miss the night at all costs. You didn’t want to ruin the budding tradition, but you weren’t ready to see Nolan either.

As much as it hurt to still be in contact with Nolan, the thought of cutting him off hurt just as much. So, you subjected yourself to the heartache of talking to someone as if you weren’t enamored with. After the night of your break down, Nolan tried texting and calling you as usual. Although you weren’t ignoring him, you kept your texts brief and the phone calls even shorter. You felt bad for creating a wall between you and Nolan, especially since he wasn’t sure what was going on with you. He often asked what was on your mind, but you typically brushed it off and churned out a half-true excuse about being busy with school before cutting your conversations with him short.

Maya understood your discomfort with the situation, and offered to call off the movie night. You quickly objected, not wanting to ruin the night for the others just because you were battling your own demons. You told her that the movie night could go on at your shared apartment, and that you would find something to keep you out of the house for a while.

Your escape from the apartment came in the form of Austin, a boy from your psych class. Although you two didn’t speak to one another much, his kind eyes and bashful smile always led you to gladly agree whenever he’d asked to sit in the open spot next to you in the lecture hall.

One day, after you offered your notes to him for a day he missed, he offered to take you out for dinner in return. Although you were hesitant at first, you couldn’t think of any cons that would weigh out the opportunity for a free meal and spending a few hours with the charming boy. Plus, he had mentioned that he was a transfer student from out of state, and you knew how much you would have appreciated a few friends from school when you first moved to the city. Ultimately agreeing to his proposition, you gave him your number and scheduled the dinner for the same night and time as the movie night.

When the night of your plans with Austin came around, you made sure to leave your apartment before the guys were coming over. Because you felt guilty for skipping on the movie night, you attempted to help Maya set up the snack. However, Maya insisted that you shouldn’t keep Austin waiting and that she could handle the food herself. When you told her about Austin, she was ecstatic for you. She knew how difficult the past week has been for you and nearly screeched with excitement when you told her that you had actual plans for the weekend.

She gave you a hug and reminded you to call her if you were in an emergency before practically pushing you out of the door.

+ her

The night with Austin went better than planned, and you genuinely enjoyed yourself. Not wanting to give Austin any false impressions, you made sure that the night was strictly platonic. Luckily for you, Austin was incredibly understanding. Although you didn’t miss the look of slight disappointment on his face when you told him that you weren’t interested in being anything more than friends, he respected your decision and upheld his offer for dinner.

Quickly, you found out that you two had a similar sense of humor. Austin was easy to talk to and eventually, you opened up to him about Nolan. You nearly apologized for doing so — you weren’t planning to drop your baggage on a boy that you barely knew. However, Austin was surprisingly good at giving advice and even recounted some of his own stories about unreturned feelings. It was nice to be able to talk to someone that could relate to you.

Knowing that Nolan was at your apartment, Austin suggested that you two get dessert and explore the city to make sure that the hockey player would be gone before you got home. At first, you turned down his idea, jokingly arguing that he didn’t have to spend his whole Saturday night with you out of pity. In spite of your protests, Austin promised that he wanted to continue spending time with you and didn’t mind the idea of getting ice cream.

You didn’t return home until it was nearly midnight. You were sure that the boys would have already headed home, since they had a morning skate the next day.

Opening the door, you were shocked to see that everyone was still in the apartment, eyes occupied on the Marvel movie on the television. Your eyes immediately landed on Nolan’s figure, and you contemplated your next actions.

Settling on trying to go unnoticed by the group, you tried your best to discreetly enter your home and head to your room. With everyone's backs turned away from you, you almost made it to your room safely.

You were so close until your keys loudly fell onto the floor as you tried to remove them from the lock. Instantly, everyone’s heads turned to the front door. Someone turned on the living room’s lights, and you became uncomfortably aware of everyone’s attention on you.

You flashed them a smile, and Maya was the first to speak.

“How was your date?” she slyly questioned, making sure that everyone in the room heard her.

You raised an eyebrow at her question. Maya knew that the night with Austin wasn’t a date. However, the way she glanced at Nolan reminded you that he and the other guys, for that matter, didn’t know that. Not wanting to entertain whatever plan she was brewing in her mind, you tried not to acknowledge her question, flashing her a nervous smile.

“You ditched us for a date?” Travis gasped incredulously, clenching his hand above his heart for the added dramatic effect.

“Is that why the cookies were weird? I knew something was wrong with them when I nearly broke a tooth trying to eat one,” Hayesy laughed as an embarrassed Maya threw a pillow in his direction. You chuckled along with the joke, knowing that you should’ve stuck around to help her bake them. You made sure to promise not to miss the next movie night and even reassured Kevin that you would make a fresh batch of cookies just for him next time.

As Joel chimed in with the others about your “date,” Nolan remained oddly quiet.

His body language was stiff, and his eyes were mostly glued to his lap. He was playing with his fingers and refused to look you in the eyes. He almost looked uncomfortable, his smile forced whenever someone made another funny remark. Although everyone seemed oblivious to it, you couldn’t help but notice the way Nolan was biting the inside of his cheek. It was a habit that you noticed before, but you usually only ever saw him do it when he was in deep concentration or thought. You wouldn’t lie and say that it didn’t hurt to see that Nolan didn’t even acknowledge your presence. Of course he didn’t owe you anything, but your heart didn’t necessarily know that.

You didn’t want to overanalyze anything, though. So, after chuckling at their comments, you headed to your room to remove your makeup and change into the oversized tee shirt and lounge shorts that you had been looking forward to changing into ever since you left the apartment.

“Calling it a night already?”

Upon hearing the question, you nearly had to do a double take. It was the first time you had heard Nolan’s voice all night. The lack of inflection in his voice transformed the previously light-hearted atmosphere thick with tension.

“Um, yea. It’s been a long night and I don’t know how much longer I can keep my eyes open,” you curtly responded with the first excuse that you could come up with, continuing en route to your room without sparing Nolan another glance. You gave everyone in the living space a small wave before you slipped into your room.

Although your reasoning was partially true, you didn’t know if you could handle being so close to Nolan at the moment. The two of you had gotten used to snuggling up together during movie nights and with your current emotional disarray, you didn’t want to put yourself in the position where you had to pretend like you weren’t still hurt at the thought of Nolan not seeing you in the same light that you saw him. And, regardless of how idiotic Nolan’s teammates could act at times, you knew they were pretty observant — especially when it came to you and Nolan’s complex friendship. If you decided to join in on the movie night but sit in any seat that wasn’t next to Nolan, they'd undoubtedly pick up on it.

Even though you thought your excuse was enough to get by your attentive friends, everyone in the room —bar Nolan— exchanged knowing looks with each other after once they heard the lock of your doorknob click into place. They knew how much you loved movie nights and how you were usually a night owl, regardless of how busy your day was. In fact, it was usually you that begged for an extra movie to be played when everyone was ready to call it a night.

More importantly, they knew you had a soft spot for Nolan. They weren’t ignorant to the way you’d sprint through hoops and hurdles to spend time with Nolan, mostly because they noticed how Nolan would go great lengths to see you, too. It had been a while since you last saw Nolan, and they figured that you would jump on the chance to be in your best friend’s presence again. Of course Maya had to play along, pretending as if she didn’t know why you were avoiding Nolan.

Even though Nolan was a little more subtle with his actions and words, it was no secret that Nolan missed you. His question from earlier was his way of asking you if everything was alright and if you wanted to spend time with him, and your deflection to his implied questions told everyone what they needed to know.

They weren’t quite sure what was going on between you and Nolan, but they knew things weren’t the same as they used to be.

Noting the way Nolan’s shoulders sunk after you disappeared into your bedroom, Maya was the first to rise from her seat. The mood of the night quickly became awkward after Nolan’s short-lived interaction with you, and Maya had no intention of having to sit through another hour of the movie if it were going to be this uncomfortable. She also hoped to talk to you before you actually went to sleep.

“Well, I think I’m gonna head to bed, too. I have to pick up an early shift tomorrow,” she explained as she gathered her blankets from the couch. “You’re staying the night, right?” she asked Joel.

Painfully aware of the newfound tension, her boyfriend silently nodded and helped Maya bring the rest of the throw pillows and blankets.

“You all can finish the rest of the movie,” Maya nodded towards Nolan, Travis, and Kevin. “Just lock up on your way out once it’s over. There should be a spare key under the flower pot outside.” Waving to the guys in the living room, Maya tugged Joel into her room and shut the door.

And then there were three.

+ him

Nolan’s jaw was beginning to ache from how hard he was clenching his teeth together. He didn’t know how to take in the rollercoaster of emotions that he had been feeling for the past few days. He wasn’t oblivious to the barrier that seemed to build up between you and him, but he didn’t know how that wall formed in the first place, let alone how to get over it.

He thought the past few days had been rocky, but he was certainly not prepared for his heartstrings to be pulled into so many directions tonight.

Nolan was looking forward to seeing you in person and was more than disheartened to hear that you were out for the night after he awkwardly asked Maya about your whereabouts. Your roommate didn’t go into the specifics of why you were missing out on the movie night, so he was left to his own devices to figure out where you were.

Of course he could’ve texted you, but given your erratic reply rates as of late, he resorted to refreshing his SnapChat and Instagram apps every once in a while to see if you were posting about where you were spending your weekend night.

Nolan wanted to understand why there was a strain in the relationship and more than anything, he needed your reassurance to know that everything was alright. He partly thought you were distancing yourself from him because he had made his feelings for you too obvious and you didn’t see him in that same way. The theory wasn’t even farfetched. His friends always made fun of him for being so whipped for you, and Nolan knew that you hated letting others down. Throughout his friendship with you, he had quickly learned that you would much rather deal with the brunt of someone else’s problems than to let them down. The thought of you distancing yourself from Nolan just because you only saw him as just a friend hurt Nolan, and he needed to let you know that he’d much rather deal with his feelings being unreciprocated than to have you fade away from his life.

Nolan also thought that he said something wrong and made you upset. However, after replaying all of the conversations he had with you leading up to your new treatment towards him, he didn’t know what he would have said that would have made you this indifferent to him.

Your social media gave no hints as to what you were doing, so Nolan let his imagination run wild with all of the reasons why you would’ve skipped movie night, especially when you were usually so excited about them.

When you entered the apartment a few hours after his arrival, Nolan felt his heartbeat begin to thrum as loud as a kick drum. All of the hypothetical situations that were previously occupying his mind were now invaded with thoughts about how good you looked. Nolan recognized the denim jacket you were wearing as the one that you had gotten a few months ago. He had just finished an afternoon practice when you FaceTimed him and couldn’t contain your excitement about finding the “most perfect article of clothing” you’ve ever owned. Although Nolan chirped you for driving so far away just for a jacket, the ecstatic expression on your face that day was one he’d never forget. It was also one that he so desperately craved to see for the rest of his life.

Just as quickly as he was brought out of his slump from seeing you, he was rudely pulled back down to reality after Maya asked you about your date. Needless to say, the warmth that filled his heart left as quickly as it had entered. Jealousy consumed Nolan, and he was momentarily blinded by a pain that he couldn’t quite describe.

As his friends joke around with you, Nolan struggled comprehending the thought of you with another guy. He had no right to be upset, really. Not when he couldn’t muster up the courage to tell you how he felt and especially not when your eyes were twinkling with so much elation.

Throughout the friendship Nolan had developed with you, you never mentioned that you were going on dates or seeking relationships. The hopeless romantic in him let him believe that maybe, just maybe, you were saving your heart for the right person. For him.

However, the breathy chuckle you released after Maya’s question shattered any amount of hope that Nolan had built up. Now, instead of butterflies, Nolan’s stomach was filled with a piercing ache. As if he wanted to punish himself more for not being more vocal about his feelings for you, Nolan attempted to ask you to join the movie night. Sure, maybe he wasn’t exactly direct with his words, but he was hoping you’d pick up on his hint. Nolan shouldn’t have been so surprised when you decided to go to your room instead of joining him and the others, but the already-tense coil in his stomach continued to tighten.

After you went to your room, followed by Maya and Joel, Nolan looked at the remaining people in the room.

“We’re sorry, Pat,” Travis was the first to speak. His words were laced with sympathy, knowing how much his friend was head over heels for you.

Moving from his seat to stand over his younger teammate, Kevin rose from the couch and rubbed Nolan’s shoulder. “Let’s head home, yea?” Kevin attempted to dance around the topic of you.

“I’ll meet you two in the car. Just need to clear my head for a bit,” Nolan muttered to his understanding friends.

Quietly, Travis and Kevin left the apartment, making sure to shut the door carefully as to not disturb their teammate.

+ him & her

Thinking you were in the clear after hearing the front door close, you left your room in hopes of making a mug of tea.

You felt bad for avoiding Nolan, but you didn’t know how else to deal with the thousands of thoughts that cycled through your brain.

To say you were unprepared to see Nolan in your living would be an understatement. His arms were propped on his knees and his face was cradled by his hands. His shoulders were slouched and his tousled hair looked as if he had run his hands through it multiple times.

You weren’t sure if you should’ve just turned back around and locked yourself in your room, but your instincts beckoned you to come closer to Nolan. No matter how hurt you were, he was your best friend first and foremost. If there was anything you could do to bring him out of his clear distress, you would do it without a second thought.

“Nolan?” you meekly called out his name.

Nolan slowly moved his head just enough so he could hear the source of the sound. Unintentionally mimicking your facial expression, he looked just as stunned to see you. “Sorry, I thought you would’ve already been asleep. I was uh- I was just about to head out,” he timidly said.

“Stay as long as you need. I’ve been trying to sleep but didn’t have much luck, so I’m hoping tea will help. Haven’t been able to get a good sleep for a while now,” you explained while opening a kitchen cupboard for a mug.

“Me neither. Things haven’t felt right recently,” he sighed. After his statement, the apartment was eerily quiet. Neither of you wanted to say anything else, scared of stepping over any boundaries or maybe the situation even more awkward.

You’re not sure what gears clicked into place, but you felt compelled to finally tell Nolan what was on your mind. The guilt of ignoring him was eating away at you, and you felt like you at least owed your best friend an explanation as to why you needed space from him. After you dropped the tea bag into your mug, you walked back towards the living space to where Nolan was still sitting.

“Look, I’m sorry,” you started.

Nolan didn’t say anything, his eyes pleading with you to continue with what you were saying.

“I’m just gonna lay everything out because I know I’m not gonna be brave enough to do this on any other occasion,” you prefaced, making sure Nolan was paying attention to what you were saying. You were already embarrassed that you had managed to think that Nolan could ever like you, and you did not want to have to verbally explain your emotional affliction more than one.

“I don’t really know when, but I caught feelings for you. At first I wasn’t sure what to do about it, because everyone always warns about falling for your best friend and I didn’t want to make things awkward between us if you didn’t feel the same,” you continued with your explanation, eventually getting to the part where you saw Nolan and the girl on Maya’s story.

“It just sucked, y’know? I thought I was doing a good job of suppressing my feelings and then I saw that. Obviously it’s not like we were dating or anything and I never told you how I felt at the time, but having that confirmation that there wasn’t actually anything between us was like a kick to the gut.”

“I feel terrible for letting my feelings get in the way of our friendship and reading all of the signs wrong. I don’t wanna lose you because of this, and I’m really trying to get over my silly feelings becau-” you were cut off by Nolan.

“What if I don’t want you to get over those feelings?” he said while approaching the spot you were standing in.

Your heart dropped to the pit of your stomach. You weren’t sure if you were hearing things right or if you were so sleep deprived that you were starting to make things up. “I-I’m not following,” you silently begged Nolan to continue.

“I liked you, too,” he confessed. “Well, I still like you. If I’m being honest, I think I’m in love with you,” he admitted all in one breath. “I thought it would be easier to try to get over you instead of dealing with the possibility of ruining our friendship just because I caught feelings,” he elaborated.

“Obviously it didn’t work, though. And I ended up messing up things between us anyway, so it really didn’t work,” he sighed with a hint of resignation in his tone. He wasn’t sure if he was referring to ruining the friendship, his chance of getting to call you his, or both. Upon that thought, Nolan became even more dejected after he was reminded about how you were just on a date a few hours ago.

Your head was spinning with each word. Every fiber in your body was consumed by joy, and you were now wide awake. Nolan was now only standing a few feet away from you. You still hadn’t replied to his confession, and you could tell that he was becoming increasingly nervous as he awaited your reaction. With that realization, you were drawn out of your thoughts. Your heart was lodged in your throat, and you knew that no words could articulate the words you wanted to tell Nolan, anyway.

With that, you closed the distance between the two of you. Your hands grabbed his and although he flinched a little bit, he welcomed your gesture and interlaced your fingers with him.

Going on your tiptoes to come a little closer to your face, you become hyper-aware of Nolan’s burning gaze. His face is painted with a light blush, and he’s biting the inside of his cheeks again.

“I hope this is okay,” is the last thing you whisper before you connect your lips to his.

Instinctively, Nolan’s hands pulled away from yours to find a home on your hips. He pulled you closer, attempting to deepen the kiss. The kiss was soft, reassuring, and everything in between. Nolan couldn’t stop the smile that was tugging on his lips, and had to pull away to make sure that this was actually happening.

He was met with your confused face, your eyebrows scrunched in the cutest way. His smile promptly turned into a smirk as you tried to pull him into a kiss, your shorter height causing you to barely graze the corner of his lips.

When Nolan released a chuckle, you started to become impatient. “What?” you questioned while narrowing your eyes towards the rosy-cheeked boy in front of you.

“Does this mean I’m forgiven?” he cheekily asked.

“Only if I get a second kiss,” you said with gleaming eyes, fingertips grazing along his jawline. With those words, Nolan wasted no time fulfilling your wish and peppering your neck with dozens of chaste kisses.

The two of you were so consumed with the high of finally getting to hear the other admit their feelings that neither of you heard the sound of the front door violently swinging open.

“Patty, where the fuck are yo-” Travis called, immediately realizing the moment he was intruding on. “You know what, I think I’m just gonna head out. Have a good night!” he awkwardly chuckled, undoubtedly embarrassed. He sent the two of you a thumbs up before quickly shutting the door as if he never interrupted.

“Oh my god,” Nolan said, his head falling into your shoulder and arms wrapping around your body. “I forgot that TK and Hayesy were waiting for me to come down. It’s probably been like half an hour at this point,” his laugh rumbled through your bones.

“Stay the night?” you offered. “Maybe I can finally get more than four hours of sleep,” you laughed.

“Mm, sounds like a plan,” Nolan peppered kisses along your neck before scooping you into his arms and heading to your bedroom.

Although both of you knew that there would be a lot to talk about the following morning, neither of you wanted to disrupt the current state of bliss that both of you were in. You and Nolan’s hearts were finally intertwined, and for now, that was enough to engulf you in ease.

#nolan patrick #nolan patrick imagine #nhl imagine #hockey imagine #nolan patrick x reader #my writing

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farfromharry · 3 years

Text

Never knew the proper story | Prince!Harrison fic

Summary: He thought they had a love like Verona's, too bad he never knew the proper story.

Word count - 21,515

Warnings - language, animal death, arranged marriage, fluff, angst?

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June 3rd - 10:41am

Thomas was arguably Harrisons only friend in the world. The two had more or less grown up together, side by side, but with very different upbringings. Harrison had been raised as a Prince, of course, royal treatment day in and day out, more stuff than he could ever need. But Tom, Tom was the eldest son of a stable worker. The eldest of four boys to be exact, and the man that took care of the royal family's horses.

He earned a wage enough to feed a family of three, let alone a family of six, something Harrison would be determined to change when he was old enough to do so.

The walk down to the stables was always enjoyable for young Harrison. Excitement would always flood the nine year old’s senses at the thought of being able to see Moonlight, but this time was vastly different.

As he stepped inside the dirty stable there was no usual noise of his giddy horse, or the sound of the few workers chaotically tending to the stallions.

“Mr Holland?” the young boy called. His eyes were roaming the insides of the stable, looking for the main man that cared for the horses. Instead he spotted a boy that wasn’t much smaller and didn’t look any younger than him.

“Hello,” he greeted. “Are you okay?”

Harrison nodded, not quite sure how to approach the boy. The Prince didn’t really know much about children his age, having grown up without any friends that weren’t guards meant to babysit him, so he didn’t have very many social skills in a situation so informal.

“I came to see my horse, Mr Holland told me he wasn’t feeling well.” His voice was quiet to the point where the other boy had to pretty much strain his ears to hear what he said.

“Ah, Prince Harrison,” the man said, placing his hands on his son's shoulders. Tom’s eyes almost bulged out of his head at the realisation that the Prince was standing right in front of him. “I see you’ve met my son, Thomas.”

Tom awkwardly waved, looking between his dad and the visibly uncomfortable boy.

“I-I came to see Moon,” he said, looking at the man with teary, puppy dog eyes. At his young age, Harrison didn’t really understand the concept of his horse being sick, he thought it meant his precious pet was going to die, and he didn’t want that at all, he’d do anything in his power to prevent it from happening.

“Tom here's been taking good care of him today,” he explained, leading the two boys over to the horse. “He’s doing okay, sir.”

Harrison looked up at the older man with hopeful puppy dog eyes, praying that he was telling the truth. He sat on the floor next to the horse, placing a gentle hand on his body to stroke his fur.

Moonlight was a beautiful stallion. Pearly white fur and light coloured mane decorating the large body of the gentle horse. Harrison and even Tom’s father were certain they’d never met a more gentle animal.

The boy he’d learned to be Thomas sat across from him, sitting criss-cross with a tight lipped smile in the lingering awkward silence.

Mr Holland left the two alone when he was sure they’d be able to start their own conversation to keep them amused, sensing Harrison also wanted to spend some time with his horse.

After a while of silence he spoke up, catching Tom’s attention from where he was sitting on the hay.

“We didn’t formally introduce ourselves,” Harrison said. Tom’s eyebrows furrowed, his lack of education meaning that he didn’t actually understand what the Prince had just said to him. He looked at him as though he was speaking another language and Harrison blushed slightly, thinking he’d done something to embarrass himself. He brushed it off though, holding his hand out to the brunette with a comforting smile.

“I’m Harrison.”

With the simple action Tom understood, slipping his hand into the blondes.

“I’m Tom.”

That was over a decade ago now, the two boys now nineteen, and from that day on the two would cause complete havoc anywhere they went. Tom was forever in debt to Harrison’s family, his close friendship with their son being one of the main reasons his family was still alive, even though Harrison would often tell him it was nothing but common decency.

Harrison was currently helping tutor Tom’s youngest brother. In his defense, Tom had tried, but his minor experience in education was simply not enough to assist. Harrison’s high level, expensive, Prince worthy education however, was more than enough to help his brother learn how to read higher level books.

“Can you read that one for m-“ He was interrupted by the sudden movement from Tom, the two males' heads turning in his direction like he’d gone mad.

Tom jumped up from the bed as soon as he saw the Queen entering the room, not wanting to seem disrespectful to the woman who could have him imprisoned or even killed in a heartbeat, even though Harrison would never allow it.

The other male took his time getting to his feet, not seeking the urgency to please his mother as much as his best friend. Tom tried to signal for his brother to show some manners, but Harrison urged him to continue with his reading.

“Your majesty.” Harrison rolled his eyes, slapping Tom’s shoulder as a sign to get up from his bow. He’d assumed the boy had known him long enough to not have to greet his mother with a bow and such a formal greeting every time he saw her.

“Oh, Thomas, Patrick, hello,” she greeted, flashing them a nervous smile. Tom glanced between his best friend and his best friend’s mother, sensing some kind of underlying tension that he definitely didn’t want to watch unfold.

“There’s a uh- a horse I need to attend to, in the stables,” he lied, a painfully fake smile on his face, one that no one was believing. “Yeah, a horse.”

Paddy furrowed his eyebrows, scolding Tom when he practically dragged him out of his seat. “Come on, Paddy.”

The young boy just had enough time to grab his book, waving goodbye to Harrison as he was quickly ushered out of the room.

Tom didn’t even say goodbye before he left, quickly rushing out of the Prince’s chambers to the stables where he’d said he’d be, he could at least keep up with that part of his lie.

Harrison let out a deep sigh, taking a seat on the edge of his four-poster bed ready for whatever painful conversation was about to happen.

There was an uncomfortable silence for a little while as his mother thought about what she was going to tell her son, sending him a pitying glance that turned into a stern look.

“Now I already know that you aren’t going to be happy about this,” she began. Harrison quietly scoffed, busying himself by playing with the cuffs of his shirt. He tuned out the sound of his mother’s voice, something anyone else in the entire Kingdom wouldn’t even dream of doing for the sake of keeping their heads- well that might be slightly dramatic, but Harrison was already pissed off.

There were four words that caught his attention and would’ve knocked him off of his feet if he were standing. “You’re getting married.”

“What?”

»»——⍟——««

Tom didn’t really have anything to do in the stables, and everyone in the Prince’s room had already known that, so he just had to busy himself with anything while Paddy sat down to continue his reading. Tom spent a little bit of time with Harrison’s horse, talking to him about nonsense. He more or less expected to be alone in the stables, other than the ten year old of course, of who wasn’t paying attention, but normally it was just Tom and the horses, sometimes Harrison too.

So he most definitely wasn’t expecting an audience to his conversation with a horse...

He was too caught up to notice the pretty lady standing by the door, quietly giggling at how he probably seemed insane. She chose to speak up eventually though, feeling like she’d already intruded enough.

“Hello?” Tom’s head perked up at the sound of the feminine voice. He stepped out from behind the stallion, noticing a lady that didn’t look like she belonged in a stable at all.

“Can i help you?” he asked kindly, running his hand through the loose curls on his head, brushing them out of his eyes. His eyes roamed her face like he was in some sort of trance, his heart beginning to race.

She flashed him a nervous smile that had butterflies erupting in Tom’s stomach.

“I’m Delilah, I just wanted to come and see the horses, I was informed they’re lovely.”

His eyes widened slightly at the mention of her name, but he nodded in his trance like state, making the lady giggle. He was unable to pinpoint where he’d heard that name before.

“Are you alright?” she asked, snapping Tom out of it. He nodded his head, a pink blush creeping its way onto his cheeks.

“Sorry, I feel like I’ve heard that name somewhere,” he explained, running a hand through his hair once again. She flashed him a grin, one that showed off her pearly whites and convinced Tom he could fall in love right there.

“Well, I suppose I should have greeted myself properly.” She took a deep breath, putting on some kind of façade that she was used to wearing in the company of others, to mask her disappointment.

It hit Tom like a horse and cart, the male having a quick moment of realisation.

“Princess Delilah?” he muttered, staring at her wide eyed. She nodded her head sadly, sending him a tight lipped smile.

“That would be me, yes.” His eyebrows drew together in confusion, the pieces not really adding up. Why would a Princess from another Kingdom come here unannounced?

“If you don’t mind me asking, why are you here?” He tried to sound as kind as possible, the man was genuinely curious. “I-In the kingdom i mean.”

He noticed her face drop slightly, but she quickly covered it up with another one of her bright smiles.

“I’m afraid I’m not allowed to discuss that.” Tom respected her words, understanding that she could probably get into trouble if he was to pry it out of her. He would still probably ask Harrison anyway, seeing as that’s most likely what his mother wanted to discuss.

The topic was quickly changed so that the atmosphere wouldn’t be so awkward, the young boy in the corner of the room catching Delilah’s eye, thankfully giving her something else to talk about.

“And who’s this?” she asked politely. Paddy didn’t look up from his book, making Tom silently curse him out in his head.

“This is my brother, Paddy.” At the mention of his name he looked up, sending a confused smile to the two adults. Her eyes caught the cover of the book in his hands, peaking her interest.

“What are you reading?” she asked. Tom’s heart fluttered slightly, making a mental note that the Princess was good with kids. She obviously lived up to the sweetheart title the population of her Kingdom had so kindly graced her with, one that was famous enough that it carried through to other places.

“Romeo and Juliet.”

He could see her face light up with recognition, a sparkle coming to her eye as she looked at the well looked after copy of the book.

“That’s one of my favourites, I like that it’s different.”

Tom felt slightly silly that he didn’t know what they were talking about. He felt as though the ten year old was managing to bond with the Princess better than he was.

He nervously stuttered out. “Why is it different?”

He only felt brainless when they both stared at him. Part of him felt like he was being judged for not understanding the simple things behind the story that he hadn’t- no, couldn’t even read.

“It shows that not all love stories end happily,” Paddy explained, looking up at the wiser woman for confirmation. She giggled quietly, nodding her head at the boy.

Delilah let out a sigh, flashing Tom another smile that could convince him to do just about anything she asked him to.

“I should get going, I have to get ready for later,” she mumbled. “It was nice meeting you Tom.”

Like the kind gentleman he was, he bowed to the Lady, earning a playful eye roll from the Princess.

“The honour was mine,” Tom flirted, sending her a teasing smirk.

Paddy faked a cough, drawing their attention away from each other’s eyes and back to the real world. “It was nice to meet you.”

The Princess shook the child’s hand, nodding her head in agreeance. “Tell me how you like the book once you’re finished.”

Without another word she was gone, her beautiful pale blue dress flowing behind her in the faint summer breeze. Tom watched her go, mesmerized by the simple way she moved.

“You’re in love, aren’t you?” His words broke Tom out of his daze. Paddy may only be young, but he wasn’t silly. He could still clearly see the blush that had been coating Tom’s cheeks while he had spoken with the lovely Princess.

“Even if I was, it doesn’t matter,” he simply stated, not confirming nor denying Paddy’s statement.

“Why not?”

“She’s obviously here for a reason, and I’m not going to be the reason a royal deal is ruined,” he explained simply. “Harrison would kill me.”

Before anymore could be spoken on the matter, Harrison barged through the door with an angry scowl on his face, muttering some nonsense under his breath that either boys were able to decipher.

Tom called Harrison’s name, telling him to calm down and try to stop his racing thoughts before he spoke. He watched his friend take a deep breath, composing himself.

“You will never believe what my mother’s just told me.” Tom hummed for him to continue, telling Paddy to go and sit outside the stable, somewhere he wouldn’t hear their private conversation. The young boy huffed, standing up from the hay. He headed to sit on a patch of dry grass against the stone wall opposite the wooden barn, sending daggers at his oldest brother.

“They want me to marry the Princess of-“ That was all Tom heard. His heart sank into a pit in his stomach, any happy emotions about their earlier interactions were gone. “I can’t believe it.”

“Why’s that?” he asked, trying to act like he didn’t absolutely despise the idea just as much as his best friend did.

“I don’t want to marry some stranger, Tom.” He rolled his eyes at the prince, stroking his hand down the centre of the horses’ nose. Honestly, he did feel bad that his friend didn’t have a say in who he got to marry, but at the end of the day he was still marrying a princess, and that’s more than Tom could ever do, especially Delilah.

“She’s very beautiful,” he said, trying to at the least make things sound better for his friend. Harrison shot him a look of confusion.

“How do you know?” he asked.

Tom let out a sigh. “She came down to the stables just before you got here, said she wanted to look at the horses,” he shrugged. Harrison stared at him like he’d gone insane. “What?”

“You can’t be serious,” he stated, finding it hard to believe that the ‘proper lady’ that had been described to him could ever find herself willingly in a stable. Her mother was adamant she would never step foot in such a place, another thing that made him so hesitant, horses were a big part of his life.

“Why would I lie?” Tom challenged, holding his best friend’s stare. Harrison eventually gave in, letting out a groan as he ran his fingers through his hair for the hundredth time.

“She’s nice, she was good with Paddy, so she’s good with kids,” Tom said. “That’s a good thing.”

His eyes widened, throwing his arms in the air.

“How is that a good thing?” he asked. Tom rolled his eyes, flicking his pointer finger against the back of Harrison’s head, receiving him a glare.

“In a marriage, people normally have children-“

“Fuck,” Harrison cursed. “I didn’t even think of that, do you think they’ll want us to have kids?”

Harrison’s brain felt like it was going to explode, all of this information at once becoming overwhelming for the young man.

“Probably, if you’re going to rule one day they’ll want you to have heirs, Harrison.”

He placed his hand on the blonde's shoulder in an attempt to comfort him while he was clearly in distress.

Tom didn’t know if he’d ever heard his best friend sound so helpless. Normally, he always knew how to approach any situation head on. “What am I going to do?”

»»——⍟——««

June 3rd, 7:00pm

The Prince had been on edge since the conversation with his mother this morning. She’d found him wandering the castle later in the day and informed him of a spontaneous ball they were throwing in honour of their guests, one that she had forgotten to tell him about.

Harrison had rolled his eyes, leaving her without another word to go and find the stable boy so he could guilt trip him into coming with him.

Now a few hours later and here they were, standing above the crowd of the overcrowded ballroom, chatter and music making it hard to think, let alone have a proper conversation.

Tom had had to slow Harrison’s alcohol intake down, the male already having tried to take up to three glasses from passing by servers.

“You need to calm down,” Tom instructed, wanting to keep his friend sober so he didn’t say or do anything he didn’t mean in the moment and embarrass himself

The older male decided on the perfect distraction when he saw his younger brothers approaching.

The ball was open to those of the Kingdom who could afford to dress up, and luckily for Tom, Harrison would provide him with anything he needed if he wanted his family here.

In the end only Harry and Sam had decided to come, but that still meant the lads parents were getting a well deserved break from all their responsibilities, seeing as Paddy was capable of keeping to himself for a few hours.

“Your highness,” Sam teased, over exaggerating a bow to the Prince. He rolled his eyes, lightly swatting the back of the brunette’s head, flashing him an innocent smile.

“What have you been doing?” Tom asked.

“We’ve been trying to find some lovely ladies to dance with,” the younger twin explained.

The Prince rolled his eyes, scanning the dance floor for any potential guests for his friend’s brothers, they were only sixteen, so it was a difficult task when you didn’t have many options.

“Well, take your pick, and I’d even encourage you to go for those two over there.” Of course Harrison was pointing to two of the women his mother had named as other potential brides for him if he ruined the deal with the Princess’ family. He knew if Harry and Sam were to pursue them, his mother would most likely flip, and oh how he enjoyed when that happened.

“Aren’t they-“ Tom began. He cut his friend off with a look, chuckling and shaking his head.

“Let them have their fun Thomas,” he said, a devious smirk plastered on his face. He turned to the twins, noticing how the two were already planning what they would say to the fancy women. “Cause as much inconvenience to my mother as you’d like.”

The pair scattered off into the crowd, Tom not hesitating to hit the Prince’s bicep for encouraging their mischief.

“You’re going to get them in trouble.”

“They’re smart, they’ll be perfectly fine,” he defended.

The two men continued to wait for any sign of the Princess. With most women he could tell, as awful as it sounded, but some didn’t look cut out to be a princess.

That’s why he was certain he’d spotted her when she showed up at the top of the steps. Her hair was shining, loosely flowing down her back as her hazel eyes came in to focus with the flickering candle light of the large room. Her hands carefully dropped the golden fabric of her gown when she’d come to a stand still, allowing Harrison to admire her, completely, from afar. Beauty.

“Is that her?” he asked. Tom wasn’t given the chance to answer before Harrison was jumping in again. “She’s bea-“

“Not here yet,” Tom interrupted, looking at his best friend in confusion. Harrison turned to him with a furrowed brow, cocking his head.

He pointed to the top of the stairs where she was standing nervously, fiddling with the hems of her sleeves while she scanned the sea of smartly dressed individuals below. “Then who is she?”

Tom followed his stare to see her standing there. He was also slightly taken off guard when he saw her face, his jaw going slack. Harrison slapped his arm as a way of warning, silently having claimed the mystery girl as his, already, even if she wasn’t the Princess he was meant to be falling head over heels for.

“Let’s find out,” Tom smirked, starting to swiftly walk towards her. Harrison tried to call him back, cursing under his breath at the confidence his friend held.

“Tom, don’t you dare,” he warned. He simply received a swift middle finger from the male. Harrison let out a snort, covering it up with a cough when some of the guards gave him a stern look. This was surprisingly a common occurrence with the two males when it came to the guards of the castle.

Even growing up around the Prince, Tom wasn’t as polished as Harrison was, and had actually rubbed off on him some. Of course the Queen wasn’t happy about that, scolding her son every time he did something she wouldn’t class as ‘royal behaviour’, whatever that meant. So the authority in the castle often had times over the years where they had to scold the Prince for acting like a commoner, a word Harrison despised for the sake of his best friend.

Although he still had to remember that this was a proper, formal meeting with the royal family of the neighbouring country, so he had to be on his best behaviour. That meant also controlling his manic best friend who was now introducing himself to the beautiful Lady.

“I’m Thomas, but you can call me Tom, darling,” he lifted her hand to his lips, pressing a gentle kiss on the back of it. She felt her body growing hot, trying to act calm as if this very attractive man wasn’t greeting her out of nowhere. She wasn’t sure she’d ever been given as much male attention, especially not from someone so kind.

“I’m Annette,” she giggled. “But you can call me Annie.”

“It’s very nice to meet you Annie.” He had that silly smile on his face that Harrison recognised every time Tom tried to flirt. He met the two at the top of the stairs, standing beside them awkwardly rocking on his feet.

She turned to look at Harrison and he was almost breathless seeing her up close. Annie felt herself grow nervous at the blank look on his face. If she thought Tom was attractive, she had another thing coming when she saw Harrison. Her heart fluttered when she saw the blonde staring at her.

“I-I’m Harrison,” he stuttered, acting as though he wasn’t blushing profusely like a school boy with a crush. Her eyes stayed locked on his, the corners of her lips twisting up into a soft smile.

“P-Prince Harrison?” she asked, her voice shaky slightly. He nodded, his heart sinking slightly. “It’s very nice to meet you, your highness.”

Tom tried to hold back his laughter as she curtsied for the male, knowing that Harrison hated that kind of treatment from people.

“I’m Annette,” she stated. She almost melted when Harrison took her hand like Tom had. The Prince bowed to kiss her hand, flashing her a smile that made her knees weak.

“I don’t believe I’ve seen you before,” he said. “I apologise if this is rude but, who exactly are you, love?”

Annie’s heart melted at the sweet nickname falling from his lips, her hands beginning to sweat slightly as she grew more and more nervous at the idea of messing this interaction up. She was convinced she might die if she embarrassed herself right now.

“I’m just a handmaiden to the Princess, nothing of importance,” she explained, a light chuckle following her words. Harrison shrugged, a flirty smile much like Toms decorating his lips. Now Harrison still didn’t have very many informal social skills, but he had turned out to be a natural flirt, even when he didn’t really notice he was doing it.

“I would say that’s an important job, having to get the Princess ready and proper,” he said, turning to the male. “Wouldn’t you Tom?”

He rolled his eyes. “I would, and speaking of, where is the Princess?”

Annie was glad that they’d changed the subject of the conversation so quickly, just so Harrison couldn’t see the silly grin that had blossomed on her face when he complimented her job.

“She’s a little bit nervous, but she should be here by now.” Harrison noted that she was angsty, unable to stand still as she waited to see if the Princess was even going to show.

It was an awkward few minutes of Harrison checking his shiny, golden pocket-watch every few minutes, mentally noting that the Princess was late. While Tom attempted to keep conversation with their new friend.

“Ah, Annie.” The girl turned her head, a thankful smile planting itself on her face. “I’m sorry for keeping you,” she apologised, greeting the other royal with a polite curtsy.

“No worries, Princess.”

She smiled at the group of three, noticing the familiar face along with her best friends, her eyes lingered on the dressed up stable boy for a second. She giggled, pointing a finger at him accusingly.

“From the stable,” she said. Tom nodded, shooting his friend an ‘I told you so’ look. “Nice to see you again.”

Harrison rolled his eyes, punching his friend's shoulder to tell him to shut up.

Upon his first meeting with Delilah, he didn’t feel the connection like he did with Annie, and the Princess was certain she hadn’t felt the connection like she’d felt with Tom. In Fact it seemed like Thomas had more of a connection with Delilah than the blonde did. Harrison was pretty sure he’d managed to screw up this deal before it had even properly begun.

“Shall we?” she asked, nodding in the direction of the ballroom floor, dragging him out of his thoughts before he could get too lost. He sent one last lingering look at Annie, one she returned, before he nodded his head at Delilah.

He took her hand with a forced smile, sending a glance in the direction of Tom and Annie, who had now been left alone, as he descended the steps with the Princess. He noticed how Tom seemed to be making her laugh, jealousy tugging at his heart at how his best friend could easily make her swoon.

But still he noticed the way she beamed at him, her smile causing butterflies in Harrison’s stomach. He watched as Tom politely offered her his hand, and he could almost hear his friend’s voice in his head asking her to dance.

“Harrison,” Delilah hissed, snapping his attention back to the girl on his arm. He hummed, silently asking what was wrong. “Take my waist.”

As he looked around he noticed numerous pairs of eyes on them as they waited for the soon to be engaged couple to begin to dance together. He grew nervous at all the sets of eyes, feeling as though they were silently judging him.

“Sorry,” he mumbled, clearing his throat. He slipped his hands around her waist, holding her close to him, while hers circled around his neck.

Harrison felt bad that his eyes were practically glued to the way Annie flowed so gracefully across the floor in Tom’s arms, rather than on the girl he should be focusing on.

She raised her hand to his jaw, gently turning his chin so the striking blue of his eyes met hers. He could see the sympathy all over her face.

“I take it you don’t want to marry me?”

He didn’t expect her to bring that up so bluntly.

“I don’t even know, how could I possibly say that? I barely know you.” He didn’t know how she felt, and Harrison wasn’t going to jeopardise everything for the sake of a girl he’d met a few seconds ago, compared to the woman that was going to be his wife.

She rolled her eyes. “You’re practically drooling over Annie.”

He became defensive, shaking his head. “I’m not, really, I was just-“ He tried to come up with a quick lie, swallowing nervously. “I was looking at her dress, i-it’s bright and-“

“I don’t want to marry you either.” He let out a breath of air.

“Oh thank God.” She giggled, the man joining in with a more than relieved chuckle. The two had to reassure each other that they just weren’t ready and it was nothing personal, because truly it wasn’t. It didn’t take a genius to see Delilah had clicked with Tom in the stables and Harrison and Annie had some sort of obvious chemistry when they met on the stairs.

“What are we going to do?” she asked, feeling completely useless, letting out a surprised squeal when the Prince twirled her. Harrison shrugged, trying not to let the stress of the situation show on his face, forcing a smile on his lips instead.

“Well people are watching,” he said. “So for now, we dance.”

She hummed. “Now that, I can do.”

»»——⍟——««

June 12th, 1:26pm

A week or so after the ball, Harrison and Delilah were being pushed into spending time together, in their parent’s words it would be ‘building their love connection.’

The two had simply shared an eye roll and had to agree, pretending as though the idea didn’t sound weird and awful. With a few more painful comments from their mothers about how cute they were going to look together, they were ready to go and ‘bond.’

“Oh and, take Annie with you.” Harrison’s eyes widened, glancing over at the girl who looked just as shocked as the pair of royals. She obediently nodded her head, silently accepting that she’d have to get used to the couple somehow and now would maybe be her chance.

“Well Ladies, after you,” Harrison muttered, motioning for the two women to leave the room first.

The three took a stroll through the gardens of flowers, Delilah and Harrison making polite conversation while Annie hung back. She took the time to admire all the different types of vibrant flowers that looked as though they had been handled with such care.

She thought they were beautiful, and she could only wish the King and Queen would have something like this at their own Palace. As much as she’d begged them, they never gave in. She hadn't noticed that the pair in front had slowed to a stop, partially to give her the chance to catch up so she didn’t get lost in an unknown place.

Harrison’s eyes roamed the side of her face as she admired the rows of beautiful dandelions. He felt heat rising to his cheeks just looking at her, the way the sun beamed down and created something like a halo around her.

“You look at her like she’s the only person in the world, you know.”

He knew she was right. Harrison hated that he couldn’t control his feelings, that he couldn’t feel for Lilah like he did for Annie. There was just something so unexplainable about her, and he wanted to know so much more.

“To me, she is.”

Annie turned her head to look at the pair standing together, the baby curls that were framing her face blowing in the gentle breeze. She looked between the two royals who had obviously been watching her and ducked her head down.

She assumed that they’d been waiting on her and she felt guilt rising in her chest.

“Sorry,” she muttered, picking up her pace again and beginning to walk towards them both. Delilah linked her arm through her best friends, flashing her a bright, loving smile.

“Why are you apologising? We were just talking about how pretty you are.” The words came out of her mouth like it was nothing, yet here Annie was almost choking on her own breath. The Prince thought she was pretty?

She wasn’t given time to dwell on it when Harrison quickly jumped in, trying to save himself any awkward questions.

“Come on, I know somewhere we could go.”

The two women put their trust into Harrison as he led them through a forest type environment. They shared a look of confusion behind the males back, wondering if they dared to speak up.

“You aren’t taking us here to kill us are you?” Annie asked.

Harrison snorted, shaking his head with a rather amused smile planted on his face. “No, I'm not.”

“Then where are we going?”

He grinned, picking up his pace. He didn’t take into account how difficult it may be for them both to walk through all the fallen branches and twigs while in dresses, meaning he arrived at his surprise destination moments before they did.

The forest opened out into a small meadow-like area, housing a gradual grass bank decorated with the most elegant of flowers, that descended into a smooth flowing stream. The sound of the running water hitting various large rocks and the happy, chirping birds were the only thing that filled the rather calming atmosphere.

The stream looked like a place you could swim if you entered from the other side, the water being more deep than shallow. However, the end Harrison had led you to allowed you to comfortably see the bottom through the clear river.

Annie studied the place in awe, feeling an overwhelming calming sensation fill her body just standing there. The Princess was already off to admire the wildlife she’d spotted in the trees, wanting to get a closer look at the loud spoken birds.

For Annie this felt like a whole new experience, they didn’t have places this ethereal back home.

“This place is gorgeous,” she whispered. Harrison took his chance, seeing as this was the first time he was pretty much alone with Annie. She felt his presence behind her as she looked out across the stream.

“How did you find this?”

He shoved his hands in his pockets, kicking at one of the stones beside his shoe.

“I found it when I was a kid actually,” he said, smiling at the memory of that day. “I was riding and my horse got startled, ran off and left me in the mud, literally.”

She giggled, the sound like music to the blonde’s ears. Speaking of his ears, they were currently tinting red from the embarrassed blush she’d managed to put on his face.

“I went to go and find him and found him drinking from the stream, must have known it was here.”

Delilah didn’t know what the two were talking about, but she did know that look in Annie’s eyes. The girl was admiring Harrison with soft eyes filled with adoration while he told his story, laughing every time he laughed, smiling when she saw the crinkles next to his eyes.

“Come on,” he said, holding his hand out for the girl. She tilted her head, tentatively locking her fingers with his. He led her down the small hill, closer to the running stream of water.

He gently placed his hands on her shoulders when the two came to a stop, him feeling her body relax under his tender touch.

The water was now only a hand width away, and she had to admit that the view from down here was much more exquisite than the view from above.

She could feel Harrison’s hands trailing down her arms, jumping to her lower back all of a sudden.

“What are you-“

She didn’t even manage to finish her sentence before Harrison was pushing her forward into the water. She gasped, trying to reach for him but to no avail.

He made no attempt to catch her as she fell onto her bum in the water, not deep enough to fully submerge her but deep enough to splash her so her dress was now drenched with pond water.

The Prince was laughing loudly, finding it truly hilarious how she pouted up at him while small water droplets trickled down her face.

“Harrison,” she whined, standing in the dripping dress as he laughed at her. Delilah watched in amusement upon the grass, shaking her head at just how obvious the adorable puppy-love attraction between them was.

He offered out his hand to her, telling her that he’d help her over the small rocks so she didn’t slip and fall. Annie saw that as an opportunity to get her own back, tugging on his hands so he fell in with her this time.

Granted it meant she also fell back into the water, Harrison practically on top of her, but the girl simply couldn’t stop laughing at the shock written all over his face.

“That was so mean,” he groaned. Only at his words did she look up, noticing just how close to her he was. His hands were holding him up so he was hovering above her, and her laughter slowly died down as she noticed how their faces were only a few inches apart.

“You pushed me in first,” she whispered. The two were lost in the other’s eyes. From this close Annie could see every different fleck of blue in his eyes, every tiny freckle on his face and-

“Hey lovebirds, you should really dry off if you want to make it back in time for dinner.”

The pair's cheeks flushed at Delilah’s interruption, remembering that the two weren’t alone at all.

Harrison had to be the first one to get to his feet from his position on top of her, holding out his hand with a pinky promise that neither one would push the other in again.

He helped Annie back to the grass bank, the two deciding that they would need to lay in the sun in order to dry off their clothes.

Harrison had pulled down his suspenders so they were hanging off of his hips, unbuttoning the first few buttons of his shirt hoping it would dry quicker. He laid down with his back against the grass, letting the sun loom over him.

The girl didn’t take long in joining him, laying beside him quietly. It was peaceful, the two soaking up the sun and the silence together.

Annie grew uncomfortable after a while, feeling her hair dampen the back of her clothes further. She pushed herself up out of her laying position until she was sitting upright, catching Harrison’s attention.

Her hand ran over the messy curls, her bottom lip jutting out adorably.

“My hair’s a mess,” she complained, pulling apart the thin string of ribbon that held it into a loose ponytail, now dripping wet with the water from the stream.

“I could plait it for you if you’d like,” he offered. She looked at him with slight amusement, almost disbelief.

“Really?” He simply nodded, holding his hand out to take the ribbon from her. He let her crawl between his spread legs, sitting with her back towards him so he could reach her wet curls.

He separated the strands as gently as he could, trying not to pull too hard.

“Where did you learn to do hair?” she asked, feeling him start the plait off correctly. Harrison grinned, his skilled hands creating the perfect braid down her back.

“I have a little sister.”

Annie’s eyes widened, looking over her shoulder at the boy in shock. He quietly scolded her for ruining his concentration, making her face back in the direction she was originally.

“Why haven’t I seen her in the castle?”

He chuckled. “You probably have, would’ve thought she was a maid with the dresses she wears.”

He noticed her visibly tense, her demeanor changing quickly.

“What’s wrong with maids?” she asked. His eyes widened, clearing his throat.

“N-Nothing I just-“ He didn’t know how to dig himself out of this hole he’d got himself in. “I just meant she blends in, doesn’t act like a Princess either.”

She nodded. Harrison could tell he’d messed up slightly. He hadn’t meant to offend her in any way and now he felt bad. He carefully tied the ribbon around the end of her hair, sealing off her plait tightly. He let out a sigh, gently moving to put his hands on her arms.

“I’m sorry if I upset you.”

She sent him a smile, shaking her head. “It’s okay.”

Over the course of the next few hours Annie noticed how touchy Harrison had got with her, wanting to, at the minimum, hold her hand. She wasn’t sure if it was his way of making up for what he said, but she wasn’t mad at it.

So, when the three of them headed back to the castle, he was completely reluctant to let go. He ran his thumb over her knuckles one last time before sadly releasing her hand, her positive smile causing him to break out into a smile too.

Harrison and Delilah were bombarded with questions from their mothers as soon as they stepped through the main door of the castle. They were ushered into a gorgeous, grand room where the ladies were sitting having tea.

“You’re back,” Alice announced.

Harrison’s mother tried to invite them all to sit down, instructing some of the maids to pour them some tea. He politely refused, telling the nice women not to bother.

“We’d love to hear all about your day,” she gushed, taking Harrison’s face in her hands with a grin. Lilah let out a quiet laugh, earning a glare from the Prince who was anything but happy.

“Actually, I was just going to introduce Delilah here to my horse,” he explained, quickly creating a lie so he could avoid having any kind of tea with their mothers. More so because he couldn’t really tell them what they’d done with their day, nor did he even want to try.

He noticed her perk up in her stance, probably at the thought of getting to see Tom in the stables.

“Horse?” her mother asked, slight disgust in her tone. He forced a smile, stiffly nodding his head. Delilah sent her mother a stern look. “Right, Annette you’re going with them, yes?”

The girl looked up from her place in the corner. Lilah noticed in the corner of her eye the way Harrison stood straighter when Annie looked in their direction, trying to stifle a giggle at how obvious his crush on her was.

“Yes, I suppose so,” she smiled. Queen Alice nodded, cupping the back of Annie’s head to move her along.

“Dear, do you know your hair is wet?” Her eyes widened slightly, flashing the Queen a nervous smile, but she calmly shrugged it off.

“It must be from my shower this morning,” she explained. Annie was just praying that she didn’t notice the way her hair had gone from being in a ponytail to a slightly messy plait. The long pause of silence made her nervous, the girl flicking her eyes over to the other people in the room.

“Very well, go ahead.”

It was only a short walk down to the stables, but in that time Harrison had managed to lock his fingers with Annie’s again. Neither of them said anything about it, just sporting grins instead, ones that made Lilah roll her eyes.

Upon entering the stables they noticed Tom petting Harrison’s horse, reminding Lilah of the day the two had met where he’d more or less been in the same position as he was in now.

“Oh hello, what are you all doing here?” Annie and Harrison shared a look when they noticed Tom trying to discreetly tidy himself up a little, having been looking a tad bit ragged from working the stables all day.

“We’re escaping our mothers and their tea,” Harrison explained. If Tom was even listening to him he didn’t show it, his eyes fixed right on Lilah’s.

“Would you two be okay if I maybe went with Tom somewhere?” she asked, turning her head over her shoulder to look at the two amused faces behind her. “I could always meet your horse another time.”

Annie grinned up at Harrison, whispering to let them go have fun for a little while, seeing as Delilah had spent the whole day watching her and Harrison have the time of their lives together.

“Go,” he encouraged. Tom sent his friend a grateful look, tugging Delilah away from the pair. They watched as she linked her arm with Tom’s, the stable boy leading her out into the gardens somewhere.

“What’s his name?” Annie asked once the two were out of sight. The Prince smiled, turning his attention back to his horse.

“This is Moonlight,” Harrison said, running his hand over the main of the lovely horse. Annie grinned at the name, prepared to begin her teasing on how it was slightly silly. no

“Moonlight, really?”

He scoffed playfully, sending her a look. “I named him when I was a child.”

The two descended into a comfortable silence, stroking the soft fur of the horse. Annie couldn’t hold back anymore, needing to make some kind of comment about the name once again.

“It’s rather silly though, don’t you think?” Harrison pushed her arm lightly, shaking his head at her teasing. He wrapped his arms around her waist, the girl biting her lip to hide her wide grin as his face rested so close to hers.

“Maybe I think your name’s rather silly.”

She giggled, looking over her shoulder. Harrison’s nose was practically pushing against hers in an eskimo kiss, the two so close that they were surprised their lips weren’t brushing over one anothers.

Annie had to be the one to pull away, knowing she couldn’t steal the woman, who was basically her employer’s soon to be fiancé away.

“We can’t,” she whispered, unwrapping herself from his arms. He frowned, having the knowledge that Tom and Delilah were probably doing the exact same thing with no regard for Harrison, so why couldn’t he kiss the girl he likes?

“Annie,” he said softly.

“So, tell me more about Moonlight.”

»»——⍟——««

June 25th, 11:31am

The longer Harrison and The Princess had to get to know each other, the more time he actually spent with the handmaiden, falling deeper in love by the day. So fast that it scared him.

It was around the three week mark when Tom finally decided he was going to spend the day with the girl he liked alone, leaving Harrison and Annie the opportunity to also spend the day together. The plan was to keep it as secret as possible, mainly because it’d be very frowned upon if his mother found out he didn’t love the girl he was meant to marry. But if either of them got caught they had already made their excuses to explain what was happening; The males were assisting the ladies riding the horses, simple.

Annie was obviously protective of Delilah, she was a Princess she had to be, so she was very uncertain about leaving her alone with Tom, a man they had only met a week or so prior.

“You don’t have to watch them you know,” he whispered, watching the way she raked her eyes over the pair cautiously. She turned to face Harrison with a small smile.

“I just want to make sure he behaves.”

“He will, trust me.” She hesitated before giving in under his soft stare, nodding her head.

She turned her attention to Moonlight, gently stroking the bridge of the stallion's nose. The horse really was beautiful to her, a very light shade of white that reminded her of the prettiest daisies she used to have in her garden growing up and the darkest eyes that still managed to feel comforting. He was arguably one of the cutest horses she’d ever seen, but she wouldn’t be boosting Harrison’s ego with that information.

“Do you want to go for a ride?” he asked, noticing the way her eyes were admiring the creature.

She turned her head to look at him, scanning his pretty face to see if he was being serious. When he didn’t budge she nodded, a grin creeping onto her lips at the idea of being able to ride a horse for the first time in weeks.

“Do you need to change?” He motioned to the puffy dress she was wearing, hinting that it probably wouldn’t work well with two people on a horse, or even herself on a horse. Dresses we’re definitely not made for riding.

“I only have dresses.” There was a slight pout on her lips. She took this to mean she couldn’t go riding with Harrison like she’d wanted, essentially crushing part of her spirit.

Harrison was quiet for a minute, giving Annie a chance to admire his face deep in thought. That was until his eyes lit up with an idea.

“What if you wore some of my clothes?”

She didn’t have time to agree nor protest as Harrison began enthusiastically dragging her to his room, all the way from the gardens. They got some strange looks from some of the guards, the men suspicious as to why he was running around with some girl that definitely wasn’t the Princess he was meant to be getting engaged to.

Obviously people were going to be suspicious when he was taking another woman up to his room.

“Wait here,” he instructed.

This was the first time Annie had been in the Prince’s room during her multiple week stay at the castle, so she took her time to admire the large, surprisingly homey room.

He grabbed some of the smallest clothes of his he could find, probably not that small when you considered Annie wasn’t a 5’10 muscular man like he was.

Harrison watched as her eyes roamed the four walls, a soft, admirable look on her face.

“Here you go,” he said, handing the folded up clothes to her with a smile. He grew nervous when she just stared at him, not quite understanding what else there was to do. She rolled her eyes at his visible obliviousness.

“Turn around,” she demanded, ending her sentence with a quiet giggle. Harrison made a quiet ‘oh’ sound and obeyed, staring blankly at the wall as he listened to the material of her clothing drop to the floor.

He waited patiently as she pulled on the oversized clothes, hearing a few huffs from the girl behind him. They made her sound even cuter than he already thought she was.

“I’m done,” she grumbled. He turned back around, snorting at the way the clothes basically fell off of her body, making her look like a toddler that was trying on their parents' clothing.

“They don’t fit,” she whined, looking at Harrison with an expression that resembled a small child. He had to bite back his laugh. Obviously he was much taller and bigger than Annie, so his clothes practically swallowed the girl up.

“Come here,” he whispered. She followed his instruction eagerly, shuffling over to him so she didn’t trip over the length of the trousers, until she was standing within a hand width away.

He ended up helping her back into her corset, keeping the shirt fitted to her body tightly. The two shared giggles as she attempted to instruct the clueless royal on how to properly fasten a corset, something he’d never had to do before.

She would shiver involuntarily more or less every time his fingertips brushed her back, her gasps not only being due to the added restriction to her breathing, even if that’s what she would claim it was.

“How’s that?” he asked, tying off the strings of the corset in a tight bow. She nodded her head, taking a breath as deep as she could.

“Perfect.” She could feel the heat from his body radiating off of him due to how close he was, her heartbeat speeding up significantly.

His finger teasingly hooked into the waistband of the trousers she’d been holding up, tugging them to emphasise just how loose they were. She let out a giggle, playfully slapping his hands away. Harrison now had to come up with some way to keep the material from constantly falling down her legs.

That’s when his eyes caught sight of the thin piece of red ribbon that was tying her hair together in a simple braid, similar to the one he’d done for her by the stream. She gasped when Harrison pulled it free, pushing it through the loops of his trousers so they were fitted as tightly to her waist as they could be. Annie could feel his breath on the back of her neck at the close proximity of the male, the warmth sending more and more shivers down her spine as time ticked on.

“I’m sorry about your hair,” he said, running his fingers through the mess of the braid until it came fully undone. The curly locks were now falling against the material of the borrowed shirt, covering up small parts of her face that Harrison wished he could see.

She turned around to face him, meeting his eyes almost instantly, seeing as they’d been burning holes into the back of her head.

Harrison’s hand came up to brush her hair out of her face like an instinct, tucking it behind her ears with utmost care and gentle touch, exposing those parts of her face that he wanted to see.

His striking baby blues were completely locked on her soft brown orbs, acting as a way of silent communication for the pair.

Neither of them noticed how they were getting closer, not until one more slight forward movement would cause their lips to brush.

“Better?” he asked, his lips barely even an inch away from hers. She gulped nervously, nodding her head. The clothes may not have fitted like they would if a tailor had made them specifically for her, but Harrison had done a good job of getting them to fit well enough for a ride on his horse.

There was a knock at the door that forced the two away from each other with a startled jump, standing side by side with wide eyes. Thankfully it was only Tom and Delilah, Harrison isn’t sure he’d actually want to find out what would happen if it was someone like his mother.

“What are you wearing?” she asked, her voice laced with utter disgust. Tom let out a snort, shaking his head at just how much she really did sound like a Princess.

“We’re going riding,” Annie explained, in a quiet voice that told Harrison she was embarrassed. He rolled his eyes, pulling her into his side with his arm around her waist. The girl’s eyes widened, looking up at the Prince in shock.

“I think she looks beautiful. Now, if you don’t mind,” he motioned for her to go ahead. “M’Lady.”

Tom and Delilah shared a look, the two thinking the exact same thing, those two had fallen for each other, hard, and there was no way either of them could give that up if it did eventually come down to a wedding.

Harrison led Annie all the way back down the short walk to the stables, the two refusing to unlock their interlaced fingers even in front of the prying eyes of the maids and guards, who of which would be sure to try and tell his mother.

It wasn’t long until the pair were reunited with the horse they’d left only minutes prior, Annie’s hand running over Moonlight’s soft fur.

“Are you ready to go for a ride?”

She nodded happily. Moonlight already had a saddle on his back, Annie assuming one of the stable boy’s had got him ready to go. She watched as Harrison easily hoisted himself up onto the horses back, shifting until he got comfortable on the seat.

“Come on,” he chuckled, generously holding his hand out to help her up. She grinned excitedly, taking his hand and using his assistance to make it onto the horse.

“Now, hold on,” he winked.

She hesitantly wrapped her arms around his torso, her grip only growing tighter when they began to move. It wasn’t that she had never ridden a horse before, she even had her own, but she’d never been the one not in control of said horse. She hadn’t even known Harrison a month, so she didn’t know if she could even trust him as much as she’d like to.

“I’ve got you I promise.”

The two didn’t have a destination, just knowing that they wanted to spend as much time away from the palace as they could. It was quiet, but it was that kind of comfortable silence that’s almost enjoyable.

Harrison had started looking for somewhere they could stop and spend some time, spotting a nice looking area on the hill over by some trees that would look over the entire kingdom.

“Is here okay?” he asked. She nodded her head, mumbling a perfect under her breath as Harrison willed Moonlight to a stop. He helped her down from the horse until her feet were once again firmly planted on land.

“This whole place is breathtaking,” she commented, motioning out to the homes of the kingdom.

Annie had decided to lay down on the soft grass in the line of the sun’s rays. Harrison watched her with a smile as he tied the reigns of his precious animal to a nearby tree so he wouldn’t stray too far.

The Prince was quick to join the lady laying on the ground, a soft smile on his face that he just couldn’t hide. He took a few moments to admire the way the sun was beaming down on her face, her eyes closed to protect those beautiful honey orbs from the harsh light. He thought she looked like an angel, all of her best features accentuated by the soft glow.

He decided that he wanted to get to know her more, casting his eyes nervously up to the sky when he saw her own flicker open.

“So, how did you end up a handmaiden to the Princess?” he asked, curiously. The question was innocent of course, obviously he didn’t know her life story, but it still made her tear up slightly to think about.

Thankfully, he wasn’t looking at her, instead looking up at the unusually bright June sky, the sun blinding him to the point he had to block it out with his hand.

“My mother was Delilah’s nanny,” she began, a small smile on her lips as she reminisced. Harrison turned his head watching the way she talked about her family with so much love. “Until she died when she was around 11.”

He frowned, sitting up slightly to rest on his elbow, so he could get a better look at her face, a better read on her emotions.

“Her parents thought the least they could do was give me a job when I could work, after all the loyalty my mother had given them over the years,” she explained. “They thought it wasn’t fair to let us go hungry.”

He listened intently, letting her know that he was hearing her every word. He did feel bad, he felt bad for even asking the question, but he hated that she had to experience those hardships where she didn’t know if her family would be able to eat the next day, when his entire life it was the complete opposite.

“When my father died, that was when they took me in, gave me a room in their home and treated me like a daughter. As long as I kept up my job of course.” There was a faint smile decorating her lips as she stared up at the clouds in the sky, giving Harrison the time to admire her.

She eventually turned her head towards him, a small smile creeping onto her face when she caught sight of him staring.

She didn’t really want to discuss the topic anymore, she’d received enough pity over the course of her life and she definitely wasn’t planning on receiving more from the man she liked.

“How did you meet Tom?”

»»——⍟——««

June 25th, 4:28pm

The two agreed on a slow walk back, Harrison holding the reins of his horse while Annie walked beside him. Conversation flowed easily, sweet stories of memories from their past being uttered in the quiet atmosphere of the vacant field.

“I don’t even want to go back,” she mumbled, sending Harrison a sad glance.

“Why not?”

“Today was just so perfect, and I don’t want to go back to engagement party preparations.” He understood completely, his mother had been getting way too out of hand with planning his wedding to Delilah, of which he still wasn’t happy about, when he hadn’t even proposed properly yet. He didn’t know when he was meant to propose but he hoped it was far enough away that he could try to convince his mother otherwise.

He’d tried to push all the thoughts about the engagement to the back of his mind all day but her words just brought them all back, forcing a frown onto his face as he watched her face as she walked.

“Annie, I-” He turned to face her, taking one of her hands into his free one, his other still holding onto the reins. She was scared to look up at him, wondering if she just managed to spoil everything that had happened the whole day. “Please look at me,” he mumbled.

Her eyes flickered up to look at his baby blues, her heart soaring due to the look of love in his soft orbs. He had a small smile on his face, their close proximity letting him gently rub their noses together.

She knew he wouldn’t try to kiss her without her permission, noticing him open his mouth to ask exactly for that. She giggled quietly, letting her hands slide up to rest against his chest.

“Annie-“

“Just kiss me,” she whispered. He nodded his head, leaning down until their lips brushed past each other so lightly it almost didn’t happen. She took charge, leaning on her tiptoes to take control of the kiss. She pressed her lips on his, tilting her head to properly slot them together. Annie’s stomach was in a jumble of knots as Harrison’s hand travelled from her cheek down to the side of her neck, his thumb applying the slightest pressure on her throat that took her breath away for numerous reasons.

She could feel the cool metal of his family crest engraved ring pressing against her flushed skin, making her heart race in her ribcage.

He broke away from her lips primarily to take a second to catch his breath, but he also wanted to give some love to her neck. She was panting heavily as his lips followed an invisible trail from the corner of her mouth, down to her jaw, down her neck- oh down her neck. He heard the breathy moan she let slip loud and clear. The sound hitting his ears perfectly. It made his knees weak knowing he had the most perfect girl he’d ever seen falling apart for him purely from something as simple as a few kisses.

She gently guided his lips back to hers when she felt like she’d die if she didn’t kiss him again soon. This kiss was slower than the first, the two really taking their time to memorise everything about the others lips.

He got lost in her, finally letting go of the reins to thread his hand in her curls, pulling her impossibly deeper into the kiss. This was arguably the best kiss either of them had ever experienced, sparks flying with each desperate clash of their lips.

Neither of them were expecting the spontaneous heavy rainfall, a gasp coming from Annie as she was suddenly drenched in the rainwater. She’d pulled away from Harrison, looking up at him with a contagious giggle. He leaned back in with a smile, planting one more kiss on her soft lips. “Your lips taste amazing,” he whispered, drawing a blush to her cheeks.

He removed his hand from her hair slowly, deciding that they couldn’t stay in the rain for much longer, especially when they weren’t moving.

They picked up their walking pace, heading straight for the stables where, like this, they would have to spend the night.

With the speed they were practically jogging at, they arrived in no time, the pair running into the dry warmth of the stable with loud bubbling laughter.

Luckily, thanks to his jacket, the shirt she was wearing of Harrison’s hadn’t gotten too wet, meaning she could still wear it. Unfortunately that wasn’t the case for the Prince, after giving his jacket to the girl like the gentleman he was, he was now soaking wet with rainwater.

“If you don’t want to freeze, i’d suggest you take off your top.” Harrison’s eyes widened slightly at her almost demand, not knowing where the surge of confidence to say something that could’ve been perceived so differently had come from.

By the time he had snapped out of his daze Annie was already unlacing her corset, he didn’t know if she was just loosening it or if she was actually taking off the whole thing but Harrison looked away, trying to give her the privacy she deserved, trying also to busy himself with his horse.

“Harrison,” she mumbled. He hummed, not wanting to risk turning around. “I was serious about you freezing.”

Harrison stubbornly unbuttoned the shirt he was wearing, folding it over one of the shelves to try and give it time to dry before the morning. If Harrison had to walk back to the castle shirtless, it probably wouldn’t be a good look.

Harrison headed for the blankets next, the ones he usually kept in here from when he was a boy and refused to part with his horse for the night. He walked back to Annie with a small smile on his lips.

He wrapped the warm material around her shivering frame, noticing she’d also taken off the corset and the wet trousers, both of which were now left to dry off to the side.

“Thank you,” she muttered, teeth chattering due to the cold. Harrison nodded his head, moving to make sure Moonlight was okay before he himself could settle down.

It didn’t take long for the male to realise he only had the one blanket, conveniently the one that was wrapped around Annie’s shoulders currently. He cursed under his breath, trying not to visibly shiver at the gust of cold air that blew throughout the stable. He didn’t know Annie had been watching him the whole time he was thinking about his crisis, noticing how he was shaking from the lack of heat in his body.

She stood up from her spot on some hay, heading over to him with the intent of not taking no for an answer.

Her arms wrapped around his torso from behind, the blanket starting to cover some of his body. Even the little bit of fabric helped to warm him up ever so slightly.

His back was cold to the touch, the kind of cold where your body felt numb. Annie took his hand, leading him over to the hay she had been sitting on. It took awhile for the two to find a comfortable enough position to lay in.

The blanket only ended up being big enough to cover them both if they laid with their chest’s touching. Annie’s head was comfortably resting on Harrison’s chest, her arms wrapped around his torso. While one of his hands was running through her hair, stroking his hand over her head, the other wrapping around her body to keep her warmth as close to him as possible.

His hand stroked up and down her back for a little while, soothing her to sleep with the calming sound of the rain that continued to pour outside.

“Goodnight Harrison,” she whispered. He smiled, running his fingers through her damp hair. He placed a sweet kiss to the top of her head, squeezing her impossibly closer to him.

“Goodnight, darling.”

Harrison hadn’t been able to get to sleep that night. At first he assumed it was from the uncomfortable feeling of the hay bails on his bare back, but when he saw how sound on Annie was, he knew it couldn’t be that.

No, he was scared to death of being caught by someone, with her, like this. Obviously he knew how it would be perceived at first glance, especially without any knowledge of what had happened prior, and he couldn’t risk that.

He knew that if anyone were to come in early in the morning it’d most likely be Tom or his father, and if so he could easily persuade them to keep quiet.

The next morning Annie was woken up early by the loud chirping of the birds in the nearby trees, the sun barely rising in the sky. She was alone now, the blanket wrapped solely around her body tightly and no longer around Harrisons.

She stretched her arms above her head, letting out a small sigh at the feeling of her muscles relaxing. She spotted Harrison leaning against the door of the stable, still shirtless, just watching the light drizzle of rain and the sun beginning to rise over the castle.

She kept the blanket around her shoulders, moving over to where the man she adored stood, looking like one of those Greek God’s she’d read about in one of Delilah’s fancy books.

“Good morning,” she whispered. He turned his head to see her standing there, her hair messier than it’d been last night, he thought it made her look even more gorgeous though.

“Hi. Come here,” he cooed, holding out his hand for her to take. Annie’s eyebrows drew together in confusion, taking his hand anyway. He pointed to the sunrise just beyond the castle, watching as her face twisted into one of awe.

He coaxed her body back into his chest, wrapping his arms around her protectively. He rested his chin on the top of her head, exhaling slowly. This was the kind of love he wanted, the kind that was just so easy and natural. Annie could give him that, not Delilah.

He hated the fact that he couldn’t marry the girl he was falling so hopelessly in love with, how was he meant to give all this up?

»»——⍟——««

July 2nd, 9:03am

In retrospect after being in the Osterfield’s kingdom for almost a month the ladies probably should’ve visited their village earlier. Except for the most part they’d been locked up in the castle being wooed by two angel-like boys.

“This place is so lovely,” she whispered, looking around at all the different people communicating outside of the different stalls set up along the street. People sold a variety of things here, bright bouquets of flowers that added that pop of colour to the grey town walls and jewellery that would glint in the sun, they had it all and it was beautiful.

Delilah didn’t see it that way, as much as the Princess would say she wasn’t, she was spoiled and anything to do with ‘commoners’ usually didn’t interest her. Unless their name was Tom and he had curly, brown hair.

“Why are we here again?” she asked, linking her arm with Annie’s so she didn’t get lost in the crowd. The latter sighed, rolling her eyes.

“Because, it’s Harrison’s birthday soon and I wanted to get him a gift.” Delilah nodded, looking around the busy streets of the large kingdom.

“You should too, you know,” she said. The Princess looked back at her in confusion, furrowing her brow. “Get him a gift, he is going to be your husband.”

She could sense some hostility in those final words, her face dropping slightly. She knew Annie was falling for Harrison, but Annie knew that Delilah didn’t love him, and the poor girl didn’t understand why she was taking out her emotions on her.

“I suppose so.” She hadn’t even remembered when Harrison had mentioned it was his birthday, but she guessed it was the least she could do.

The pair walked down the streets just admiring the decorations that were already being strung up in honour of his birthday, the whole town celebrating the young Prince no longer being a teen.

“Delilah? Annie?” Their heads turned at the sound of the familiar voice. They found the curly haired brunette standing there with a confused look on his face, one of his hands on the shoulder of a much smaller boy that Annie had never seen before, while two older looking boys stood beside him.

“Tom.” She saw the Princesses face light up when she saw the man she’d fallen for, her heart aching at the way she treated her when she obviously didn’t love Harrison.

“What are you both doing here?” he asked. Lilah’s eyes fell from Toms to Paddys, her eyes lighting up when she realised she had something for him.

“This is for you.” She’d reached into her bag and pulled out a book, one that looked very familiar to the young boy. “The one you had looked like it was falling apart, so this is a new copy.”

His eyes widened, heart racing as he hesitated to take it from her, not sure if he should or not. His eyes flickered from the Princesses warm ones to Tom’s confused ones.

“Lilah, you don’t have to.” She shook her head, insisting that Paddy take it. The boy thanked her profusely, showing the book to the twins like it was some prize he’d won. She had a warm smile on her face as she watched him gush over it.

“Thank you,” Tom said, drawing her attention back to him. She simply nodded, holding that same look in her eye that Annie got when it came to Harrison.

“What are you both actually doing here?”

The handmaiden smiled, a blush creeping up onto her cheeks as she thought about what now seemed like a rather silly idea. “I-I wanted to get Harrison a birthday present.”

He smiled, thinking it was rather cute. He whispered something to his brothers, watching closely as they scattered away before turning back to the two girls.

“Well, I’m here to offer my services to help you look.”

Lilah was over the moon that he was coming with, happily lacing her fingers with his, forgetting about the surrounding public.

“What about a ring?” Annie asked, looking at the cart that had a fair amount displayed. She checked with Tom, not wanting to make the wrong decision here.

He gave her a nod, too wrapped up in the way Delilah was trying to kiss him to give her a full response. She rolled her eyes, sending a warm smile to the man who was selling them.

It didn’t take her long for her eyes to land on one that she deemed perfect, imagining the way Harrison would wear it.

“That one, please,” she mumbled, looking directly at a beautiful gold pinky ring with a black gem in the middle. She handed over the necessary amount of money- well Lilah’s money, cause hey that was one of the perks of being best friends with a Princess.

“Thank you.”

The three continued their walk down the long avenue. Annie twirled the ring in her fingers, panicking slightly as she thought about all the different reactions Harrison could give her. He could either absolutely love it and fall even more helplessly in love, or he could hate it and could- Tom had noticed the internal battle going on, taking his attention away from his love to gently squeeze Annie’s arm. “He’ll love it, trust me.”

She knew it wasn’t enough to get him to call off the deal with Queen Alice and his mother, but she at least hoped it could prove her love for him.

“I hope so.”

Tom was leading them somewhere completely unknown to both of them, well the whole place was unknown to both of them, but still.

“Where are we going?”

He flashed the girl who wasn’t clinging to him a smile, bringing them all to a standstill in front of a rather cute, dainty house, one that reminded Annie much of her own home growing up.

“Home.”

She was the only one to notice the reluctance in Lilah’s eyes as Tom led her through the door of his family home. She tried to silently reassure her, squeezing her arm with a comforting smile.

The two didn’t have much longer to think about anything, being swarmed by Thomas’ younger brothers that they’d seen earlier.

Paddy instantly rushed over to Delilah, wanting to discuss the next part of Romeo and Juliet he’d managed to read, while the twins headed straight for Annie.

“We didn’t formally meet earlier, I’m Harry.” The curly haired boy leaned down and placed a kiss on the handmaidens knuckles, a giggle escaping her at how cute he was.

“And I’m Sam, his twin, the older one.” He too placed a kiss on her hand, both teens clearly getting the idea that she was free for the taking. Tom let out a sigh, flicking the both of the boy’s heads.

“The Prince will have your heads,” he muttered. The twins murmured and left the pretty girl to her own devices, hearing her laughing quietly at the brotherly behaviour. Her attention was drawn to Paddy, the quiet brother who was just simply staring at her and waiting for his turn.

When he noticed her looking back, he jumped up with a smile. “Hi, I’m Paddy.”

He shook her hand politely, flashing her a toothy grin.

“Well hello Paddy, I’m Annie.”

She was amazed at how intelligent the ten year old was, using some words that she didn’t think even she knew the meaning of, but nonetheless she still enjoyed the conversation.

However, how would it be a conversation with a Holland boy if one of the brothers didn’t interrupt.

“Harrison better watch out, I think Paddy’s stolen his girl.”

»»——⍟——««

July 4th, 5:54am

Harrison didn’t expect to hear a knock at his bedroom door in the middle of the night, nor did he particularly want to answer it. It had woken him up and he wasn’t all too happy about it. The Prince rose from his comfortable, plush bed with a groan.

He didn’t bother to throw on a shirt or any clothing on his top half, considering he thought it would only be one of the guards, heading towards the door with heavy, tired eyes.

“Hello?” He pulled it open to find Annie standing there with a large smile, the girl pushing her way into the room without so much as a hello. He furrowed his eyebrows, checking for any guards that may have seen her, thankfully there were none, before closing the door carefully and quietly, cautious to not make too much noise.

He startled when she cupped his cheeks in her cold hands as soon as he turned around, her wide grin making him break out into a smile himself.

“Your hands are-“

She cut him off without a care, shaking her head. “Happy birthday,” she whispered, slotting her much softer lips on his chapped ones. The kiss was slow and passionate, every ounce of love they had for each other poured into the simple act of intimacy.

“Thank you, love.”

Harrison laced their fingers together and led her to the spot where he’d been sleeping, laying back against the headboard with his arms out. She happily crawled into his embrace, resting her head on his bare chest with a content sigh.

It was comfortably silent between the two for a few minutes, her fingertip lightly tracing circles on his stomach, while he mirrored the patterns she was making on the nape of her neck, a light breath of air coming out of her nose every time he managed to tickle her.

Annie eventually cleared her throat, drawing his eyes back over to her face where they’d just momentarily left.

“I got you something.” She pulled the small wrapped box from behind her back, letting it sit in the palm of her hand, Harrison noticing the ribbon matching the one that he always saw tied in her hair.

“You didn’t have to.”

She placed her hand on his cheek gently, pecking his lips for a short second. “I wanted to.”

In the past week they’d grown impossibly closer, sharing and sneaking kisses when they could, going on horse rides back to the meadow where he’d pushed her in the stream, it was lovely.

“Open it,” she said, pushing it into his hands.

He had a small grin on his face as he pulled the smaller string on the bow, watching it fall undone in his lap while Annie stared at him with childlike excitement. He carefully lifted the lid off of the box, his eyes widening at the sight of the beautiful ring laying inside, glinting in the light shining in from the window.

“Annie,” he whispered, slightly awestruck, his eyes flickering up to hers. Even knowing each other for such a short time was enough that she knew him perfectly. She took that as a sign that he wasn’t impressed, making her even more nervous than she already was.

“D-Do you like it?” He could sense the nerves in her voice, rapidly nodding his head. He took it from the box, sliding it on to his finger to show her with a boyish smile.

He placed a chaste kiss on her lips, bringing his thumb of the opposite hand up to stroke over her bottom lip. Their faces were so close that any slight movement would mean their lips were touching again, but the pair rather enjoyed that.

“I love it, thank you.”

Every word he spoke, he spoke with enough emotion that she would know he was being honest. He didn’t want her to doubt herself for even a second.

Harrison suddenly got an idea, telling her to hang on one second while he climbed off of the bed. Annie was left to watch him roam around, her eyes tracing the dips and muscles of his muscular back, pulling her bottom lip between her teeth as she thought about how he truly was beautiful.

The man grabbed something from his dresser, hiding it in his palm as he walked back over to the bed. He crawled in beside her, back in his previous position.

“While I have this one,” he started, taking her left hand in his grasp. He placed a soft kiss on the back of her hand, raising it up to his mouth. “I want you to keep this one safe for me.”

He held up the item he’d just collected, showing the family encrusted ring that normally decorated his pinky finger.

“Harrison, I can’t.” He shook his head, not allowing her to make any sort of excuse.

“I trust you.” He held her hand tightly, sliding the ring onto her ring finger as though it was their wedding day. She could only imagine how much she’d like that to be a wedding band that was currently decorating her skin.

She tried to hide the faint blush coming through on her cheeks but Harrison was quick to notice it, a small smirk on his face as he watched her get all flustered at his gesture.

“A-Are you sure, what if I lose it?” she asked, thinking of all the possible outcomes where in her mind they ended with Harrison getting mad at her.

“Annie I-“ he hesitated, sending her a nervous glance. “I know this is soon but, I think I’m falling in love with you and I-“

“I think I’m falling in love with you too.”

Their smiles were contagious, the two finding it hard to share a kiss when they were unable to wipe the grins from their faces.

“Spend the day with me,” he all but demanded. Annie didn’t need any convincing, nodding her head rapidly.

“I’d love to.”

Due to it barely being 6am, the two decided on taking a quick nap together, after Harrison locked the door to his room so no unwanted visitors would show. He held her tightly in his arms, watching the sun peak out in the sky as her breathing grew steadier.

He struggled to fall asleep at first, admiring the beautiful girl laying on his chest. His thumb rubbed over her cheekbone as gently as he could so he wouldn’t wake her, his lips lightly grazing her forehead.

It seemed as though the universe wasn’t on their side that day. As soon as they tried to do anything there was some kind of interruption. Less than an hour into their nap, after Harrison had finally managed to drift off, there was a heavy knock on the Prince’s door, startling them both from their sleep.

The two had planned to go on a walk through the gardens and have a picnic around lunchtime, only to find that it was raining as they began to prepare to do so.

Then the Queen called her son away on royal duties when they decided that they would just sit in the greenhouse which held the glass roof, watching the rain together seeing as there wasn’t much else they could do.

“I am so sorry,” he apologised, finding the girl still sitting watching the rain pour. She looked over her shoulder at him with a smile, shaking her head.

“Don’t worry, I’m sure the birthday boy is very popular.” He chuckled, kneeling down beside her to press a kiss to her temple.

“What can I do to make this up to you?” he asked, stroking his hand over her soft curls.

“Just sit with me.” And that he did, perching himself in the chair next to her, wrapping his arm around her shoulders so she could cuddle into his side.

The evening rolled around all too fast and she unfortunately had to part with Harrison for some kind of birthday celebration they were having. He had tried to get her invited but he’d told her that he was unsuccessful. He left her with one last kiss on her forehead, heading to his room while Annie headed to Delilah’s to help her get ready.

“I can see you swoon every time you see him,” she teased. Annie warningly pulled the Princesses corset a little bit too tight, making her gasp in shock and playfully slap her hands away.

“I don’t swoon,” she defended, her voice quiet. Lilah let out a giggle, rolling her eyes at her friend. The two didn’t really converse that much as Annie finished helping her get ready, making sure she was up to that Princess standard that she always was.

“I’ll tell you all about it when I get back,” she promised, squeezing her hands reassuringly. The handmaiden was trying to shoo her friend, telling her that she’d be late if she didn’t hurry up.

“Go,” she encouraged, basically pushing her out of the door with a giggle, closing it behind her so Lilah couldn’t doubt herself.

She was gone for hours, a very boring, long amount of hours, so she decided to amuse herself.

Annie had been wandering the castle for a little while now, finding it far too boring to stay perched in Delilah’s room the entire evening. She just so happened to walk past the door to the dining room at the wrong time, catching Harrison’s words.

“Delilah, w-will you marry me?” He didn’t want to do this, God how he wished she would say no. He saw the tears building up in her eyes, but when she looked at him they weren’t ones of joy. She didn’t want this either.

Annie felt her heart shatter at the words, a quiet, spontaneous sob managing to escape her lips before she could stop it.

Harrison heard the noise, looking through the small gap in the door and seeing her standing there. He almost broke there and then, forgetting about the whole thing to run and comfort the girl he was definitely in love with, but he couldn’t.

“Yes,” she whispered. He slipped the ring onto her finger with a completely fake smile, hearing the claps from their family members around the table.

The girl didn’t know if she’d ever felt so betrayed. He’d lied to her, he told her this was a family thing for his birthday, now he was engaged to her best friend.

When he glanced back at the door a few minutes later, Annie was gone and he was sure his heart stopped beating for a second. Lilah noticed how pale he’d gone, looking almost like a ghost in her eyes. She could do nothing but squeeze his hand a little bit tighter, knowing if she did anymore than smile then the tears would fall.

Meanwhile, Annie was trying to remember the route they’d taken a few days prior to Tom’s home. She knew he wouldn’t be at the stables this late and so she assumed he’d have gone home to his family.

It was just her luck today that it was still raining, it had been since the early afternoon when it ruined her and Harrison’s picnic, probably trying to forebode to her the events that were going to take place tonight. If only she’d have listened.

Her feet carried her there, digging into the squelching mud uncomfortably, the rain belting down against her already soaked and shivering body. Sobs were falling from her lips without a filter, the noise filling the painful silence of the night.

She didn’t remember getting into the village, or leaving the gates of the palace, or even leaving the palace itself, but now here she was walking down the streets of the eerily quiet town.

Her eyes roamed the different street names, looking for the one she remembered Tom leading them down.

“Fuck,” she cursed, furiously wiping at the tears in her blurry eyes, assuming that she was lost in the middle of a village that was almost completely unknown to her.

Her shoes on the cobblestone echoed around the vacant street, her heart racing as she had to guess which one was her friend’s home. She knocked on the door that looked the most familiar to her.

She didn’t expect to have actually gotten the right one, but she was greeted with that familiar brunette with his warm smile. His face softened slightly when he saw the state of the girl standing outside his front door.

“Annie, god.” He hadn’t expected to see her showing up at his family home of all places. He didn’t even know how she’d remembered.

“Thomas, who’s at the door?” He watched as she stood so vulnerable in front of him, clearing sobbing with tears that were impossible to disguise as the rain.

“Just a friend, mother,” he called back. “I think she might need to stay for tonight.”

She was so grateful to hear him say those words, because there was no doubt that Harrison would be waiting for her back at the palace to try and give her an apology, and she didn’t know if she could face him or Delilah tonight.

And to be fair to Annie, Harrison was waiting. He was waiting nervously in the rain on the palace steps. At first he was hoping to just clear his head, trying to process the fact that he was now engaged to a woman he most definitely didn’t love. But then he remembered the heartbreak written all over Annie’s face when she watched him utter those simple words, and he began to anticipate her arrival back at the palace.

Tom invited her inside with a sense or urgency, wanting to get her out of the rain. He rushed to grab her a towel or anything to keep her shivering form warm.

“Here we go.” He wrapped the fluffy material around her shoulders, gently rubbing her shoulders. He didn’t know if he did it for comfort or if he was just trying to help her dry out quicker, but neither looked as though they were working.

“Can you tell me what happened?”

She sniffled sadly, her eyes flickering up to Tom’s soft brown ones.

“H-He proposed,” she cried, standing in front of the stable boy like a complete mess. Neither of them needed any names to know what she was talking about. Tom visibly deflated, his heart sinking into a pit in his stomach. Even if the both of them knew this moment had to come, neither were prepared for the emotions it would dig up.

“Fuck,” he cursed. Both of them were hurt, broken, felt cheated in all honesty. But they knew what the other was going through, and it was probably easier that they had another person to share that with.

Tom opened his arms for the handmaiden, making sure his hold was tight when she stumbled into his chest. He rubbed her back comfortingly, trying to hide his own tears that were racing down his face.

He rested his chin on top of her head, sniffling quietly while she sobbed into the material of his button up.

“We lost them.”

The two didn’t talk much, Tom leading her to his small room with an even smaller twin bed against the wall.

“I can go share with one of my brothers if you-“

She shook her head, wrapping her arms around herself nervously.

“I really don’t want to be alone right now,” she whispered, sniffling quietly. She was quick to jump back in when she realised how demanding she sounded. “I-If it’s okay that is.”

He smiled, climbing into his bed and welcoming her into his arms. It wasn’t intimate in any way, the two just needed all the comfort they could get at the moment and thankfully they could find that in each other.

“Goodnight Tom.” He pressed a friendly kiss to the top of her head, gently rubbing his hand up and down her back. He squeezed his eyes shut to try and hold back the tears that were threatening to spill over the edge of his eyes. He wanted to keep it together at least until she fell asleep.

“Goodnight Annie.”

»»——⍟——««

July 11th, 6:07pm

“Are you ready?” He didn’t answer, biting at the skin on his lip nervously, almost making it bleed. How could he ever be ready to see his pet die? Moonlight had been seriously ill for a few days now and Tom’s father had told him it didn’t look like the stallion was getting any better. Much to his heartache the man didn’t know if the horse would be able to carry on for much longer, and it hurt him so much.

He hadn’t spoken to anyone about how it made him feel, he probably should have and Tom had encouraged him too but the young Prince was certain he could keep it all bottled up.

Harrison shut his eyes tightly, breathing deeply as he felt the knot forming in the back of his throat. He could feel how tense Tom was beside him, hating this just as much as he did, it was never pleasant to see a horse die, they weren’t ones to die peacefully.

He felt a soft hand holding his, his eyes opening just long enough to glance to his side and see Annie.

He didn’t know why but even that simple gesture from her had managed to calm his racing heart and mind just that little bit, and that was all he needed.

It was risky for him to be this close to the handmaiden in public, but Delilah hadn’t come with and he’d needed any form of comfort he could get. Plus, Annie and Delilah were vastly different and unfortunately the girl he shouldn’t love was the one that was able to calm his heart.

She saw the way he winced when the shot was taken, his face turning in her direction so he didn’t have to watch.

Her hand carefully guided his head to rest in the crook of her neck, rubbing up and down his back with the utmost care. Neither of them said anything, other than the quiet shushed from her as she tried to soothe him.

It felt strange that he hadn’t heard her voice in so long.

In almost the week since she’d watched Harrison propose, she hadn’t spoken a word to him, and for that matter neither had Tom. He wasn’t even sure they’d be here today, and now that they were he still wasn’t sure they were going to speak. Delilah had already tried speaking to Tom already and it hadn’t gone very well for her.

He didn’t even look at her as she entered the stable, fiddling with her fingers nervously, arguably the most nervous she’s ever felt around Tom.

“Hi, can we talk?” She assumed he’d already heard about the engagement, whether it was from his best friend or her own, or if it was just because it was currently the buzz of the town. The male did nothing but shoot her a glare, turning his full attention back to the horse that he was trying to wash.

“I deserved that, but look I-“ She furrowed her eyebrows when he’d started to walk away from her, picking up his stuff to go around the other side of the horse.

She followed him of course, standing right in the spot where he wanted to set his water bucket down, so he did anyway.

Tom made no effort to stop the bucket of dirty water from splashing on Lilah’s dress, and deep down he did feel guilty, but not nearly as much guilt as pain.

“Tommy, please.” When he looked into her eyes she could see the clear amount of pain that he was feeling, and she felt awful knowing she’d caused it all. The ring shining on her finger didn’t help him either.

“I think you should go, your fiancé’s probably waiting.”

After that disaster of an interaction, Delilah had tried two more times to apologise to the stable boy, but not once did he give her the time of day. Tom was suffering in silence. He’d been there to comfort Annie everytime she showed up to his family home with tear stained cheeks, her heart aching at seeing the couple waltz around the castle without a care. But not once did he say how he felt.

He missed his best friend, and he missed being able to freely give his heart to the Princess, but he was struggling to let go of the heartache they’d caused him.

He wanted nothing more than to scream from the hills that he was in love with Delilah, but fate wasn’t on his side on this one.

Harrison on the other hand, he was hopeless without his true love by his side, faking smiles all around as he paraded Delilah on his arm like some kind of trophy he’d won. He hated it and so did she, and he hated the look in her eyes that told him she didn’t want to do any of it.

His goal today was at least to try and get her to talk to him, if anything just one word was all he was asking. So when the opportunity presented itself for him to have a moment alone with Annie, he took it.

“Can I please talk to you?” he asked, fiddling with his fingers nervously. She pursed her lips, glancing between Tom and the blonde. She eventually nodded her head, letting him intertwine their fingers together so he could lead her to his room. Tom said his goodbyes to her, shooting Harrison no more than a look.

It was silent as the two entered the castle, the male leading her to his room where they were certain they could be alone.

He took his time closing the door behind him, trying to prepare all the words he wanted to say in his head.

“I want to explain, at least my side of the story.”

His eyes were begging with her, pleading for her to just listen and that was all. The least she could do was hear him out, right?

Annie quietly took a seat on his bed, keeping her distance between the boy, watching him with sad eyes. The second he spoke he was instantly sputtering out apology after apology to her.

“I am so sorry, I didn’t-“ He could barely speak without getting choked up. The blonde was trying his best to swallow the lump in his throat so he could voice what he needed to say, but he was finding it increasingly difficult.

“I didn’t know it was a proposal at first.”

She didn’t open her mouth, letting him continue on without interruption. He explained how the dinner had started off as he expected, drinks and small talk between the families, a few birthday wishes and jokes here and there.

It’d all changed when Lilah’s dad had slipped a ring box into his hand, telling him that now was the perfect time. He had no say in it, unable to protest the family's wishes.

He told her how that was when he reluctantly stood up from his seat, gathering everyone’s attention and sending Delilah a wide eyed look of warning.

After a short speech about ‘how he loved the Princess,’ which was actually truthfully about Annie, he had asked her to marry him; Right at the moment his love had chosen to walk past the dining room.

“Is that really what happened?” she asked, gracing him with the sound of her angelic voice for the first time in days.

“It is.” He looked almost guilty as he watched her get lost too deeply in her own thoughts. “I’m really sorry, I don’t want to marry her,” he promised. Annie looked up, locking eyes with him from where he stood before her. She scanned his baby blues, trying her best to decipher if he was being honest or not, of which she thought he was.

“I have been trying day after day to stop it, and Lilah doesn’t want it either.”

Her voice cracked as she spoke. “Lilah?”

He realised that he’d never before called her that out loud, not even when they were no more than friends.

“S-She asked me to, said her full name sounded too formal.”

She noticed the tears that were building up in his eyes now, how could someone not when they were so clear to see. Annie’s walls were breaking down, she sympathised with him. She wanted to wrap her arms around him and just hold him forever, tell him everything was okay.

“Everything was so incredible, and- and now,” he muttered, his voice shaking with the pent up sadness he’d refused to let go of for so many weeks. “My horse is dead, I’m engaged to a woman I don’t love, my best friend hates me and you, you must hate me too.” The list could go on for him. This past month really hadn’t been what he’d been expecting for himself. Her heart shattered for him.

He finally let the tears fall, his knees giving in and buckling underneath him. As quick as he was on the floor of his chambers, Annie was right beside him, pulling him into her chest.

She tried to stop the tears, whispering comforting words into his ear, but it was like he couldn’t hear her, nothing was registering in his head.

His hands furiously tugged at strands of his hair, running back and forth over his head out of pure frustration and anger.

He didn’t calm for a while, too worked up for too long over this for it to be over so quickly. All the emotions he’d been hiding and holding back were finally making themselves known.

Annie never left him or loosened her hold on him, not even for a second. She was still whispering things that she hoped would make him feel even the tiniest bit better, and it wasn’t until she said one specific thing that he finally heard her.

“I know it hurts, I know it all hurts,” she whispered, gently stroking the messy locks of hair, messy from how many times he’d tugged at it in the past few hours. “I promise, I’ve got you.”

Those were the exact words he’d told her the first time they rode Moonlight together. Harrison stared up at her as the tears slowed their stream down his face. Her heart was aching as she watched him break before her.

“Come on.” She helped him off the floor, her arms circling his body so she could guide him to his bed, a much comfier place than the floor in her personal opinion.

“Get some rest, you look exhausted.”

He didn’t fight it one bit. He curled into her body, letting her protectively wrap her arm around him to reassure him that nothing could hurt him while he slept. It was silly really, and he knew that, but he thought with her around he was completely untouchable by anything bad, she was his safety net.

When Delilah decided to go to bed for the night, if that’s what you wanted to call it, she didn’t expect to find two figures already in there. She squinted her eyes to try and make out who it was from the door, but there was no one else that it could’ve been.

“Annie, what are you doing here?” She forced a smile at Delilah, waving her over to Harrison’s bed. The two hadn’t at all been as close as they had once been due to the whole engagement situation, and it was breaking them both. She still obviously had to do her job dressing her, but it was now very rare that there would even be conversation there.

“You shouldn’t be here A, not in his bed,” she said. She felt a flash of rage fill her at her words, wanting to scream at the girl and ask her why she deserved it anymore than her, but she may have been jumping to conclusions too quickly. “Anyone could walk in and see.”

The words weren’t said with any kind of venom in her tone, simply just trying to look out for the girl who’d be the one getting into trouble. Annie nodded, willing away the tears that were forming in her waterline.

“He’s hurting Li, I-I was just taking care of him.” The Princess could see her friend getting worked up, gently coaxing her off of the Prince’s bed and into her arms.

Annie took a deep breath, falling into the embrace of her best friend, letting her head rest against her chest. She felt a wave of emotions overtake her, all that effort she’d taken to stop them no longer working.

She decided being honest would be the best way.

“I love him, I’m so sorry,” she cried, apologising profusely. She shushed her sweetly, running her hands over the back of her hair.

“I know, It’s okay.”

Delilah reassured her over and over that she wasn’t mad, she just wanted her friend back. She also confessed to being completely in love with Tom, telling the girl how much she was struggling with dealing with marrying the Prince.

“We’re trying Annie, I promise.” She nodded her head, wiping her wet cheeks with a smile. With one last look at the sleeping Prince she decided it was time for her to go back to her own room and get some sleep, she had to be up early tomorrow anyway to get Lilah dressed for her big day.

The walk back was agony, knowing Delilah was in Harrison’s room, the two being made to share by their mothers because that’s what couples do.

She got a few strange looks from some of the guards, but most of them pretended not to notice the emotional handmaiden strolling down the empty halls.

Once she was finally back inside her room she collapsed onto the bed, letting all of the emotions out, including the ones she’d hidden from Delilah, despite her crying.

Her head was buried in her pillow as she sobbed, clinging to it tightly as she felt like her lungs were closing up.

Her eyes trailed down to the ring that was still tightly sitting on her finger, tugging at her heart strings painfully as she recalled the happy moment when he first gave it to her.

Annie didn’t remember falling asleep that night, probably drifting off from the exhaustion that came along with so many pained tears. The next thing she recalls being the moment she felt Harrison’s warm arms circle around her body, pulling her into his chest.

A soft kiss was placed onto her head. Words of affection whispered in her ear.

“You’re the one for me, no matter what.”

»»——⍟——««

July 17th, 1:07am

Harrison had visited Annie in her room just like the day of his birthday. Waking her in the middle of the night. She had considerably forgiven him after their conversation over a week ago, that bond they had starting to rekindle nicely. It wasn’t uncommon to find Harrison sneaking into her room anymore, but it was uncommon to see him this level of nervous.

“Come in.” She pulled her robe tighter around her body, stepping out of the way of the door so he was able to creep past her.

“How are you?” he asked, flashing her a nervous smile. She rolled her eyes at how he was clearly beating around the bush.

“Why are you here?” He pursed his lips, nodding his head when he didn’t get an answer to his question. He looked up at the girl that was standing in front of him, taking her hands into his larger ones.

“I wanted to spend this time with you,” he said. He was getting choked up already. He leaned forward, gently resting his forehead against hers, giving them a chance to admire each other so close up.

She bit her lip nervously, trying to wish away the tears that were threatening to fall. It didn’t work though, Harrison watching as a few stray tears rolled down her cheeks.

“You’re getting married in the morning, H,” she cried, trying to resist him wrapping her arms around her. He squeezed his eyes shut, determined not to let a single tear fall at this moment.

“I’m going to figure this out, I’m doing everything I can.”

She shook her head against his chest, letting out a heart wrenching sob that made him feel even more guilt than he’d ever felt. He held her impossibly tighter, placing his lips against the top of her head as a single tear ran down his cheek.

“I’m sorry.”

They didn’t know how long they were standing there in each other’s embrace, hearts aching and a lot of shared tears.

A sniffle from Harrison brought her attention back to the moment, her arms squeezing his body before pulling back slightly to look at him. Neither of them said anything for a few minutes, simply looking at each other and just understanding the pain the other was feeling.

“I tried Annie, I really did and I-“ She shook her head, placing a soft kiss on his lips. Her hand was resting against his cheek, her lips twitching into a small smile that she was trying to use to reassure him. He could feel his ring pressing against his skin, turning his head to press a kiss to her palm.

She took a deep breath, wiping away the rest of her tears. “I know, and I’m grateful for the time I had with you.”

His eyebrows furrowed, noticing how her eyes had moved from his face almost like she couldn’t stand to look at him.

“Why are you acting like-“

“I think you should go.” It of course broke her heart to say this. She wanted to be selfish, she wanted to run away with him so he didn’t have to get married to someone else, but who was she to do that.

He tried to change her mind, prepared to get on his knees and beg her if he had to. “Please, Annie.” She kissed him one more time, blinking away the tears on her water line.

“Goodbye H.”

He didn’t move for a few seconds, hoping she would be quick to change her mind so his heart could stay intact. There was no sign that she was going back on her words, but he didn’t know just how much it was taking for her to hold it back.

He eventually nodded, assuming he had no choice but to respect her decision. “Okay, goodbye Annette.”

It hurt her to not hear the nickname she’d grown so fond of hearing out of his mouth. It felt almost as if he said her name with so much venom.

She watched helplessly as he walked out of her room, and possibly back to the one he was sharing with Delilah.

“Fuck,” she cursed. She buried her head in her hands, slowly sinking to her knees on the floor as she let out a heartbreaking sob. She finally let it all out when she couldn’t see him anymore, assuming he hadn’t cared enough to stick around outside her door too long. That’s where she was wrong though.

Harrison was standing just on the other side of the door, his head rested against the wood listening to her cry. He wanted to go back inside and comfort her just like she had the night Moonlight had been killed, but he didn’t want to overstep his boundaries. He took a deep, shaky inhale, finally building up the courage to walk away.

She barely got an ounce of sleep that night, tossing and turning with all the possibilities of what could or is going to happen tomorrow. Sometimes having an overactive mind was a gift but right now she would do anything to just make it go away. She was exhausted when she finally gave up trying to fall asleep and got out of bed instead, deciding that she could be productive instead.

You could clearly see the bags underneath her eyes from just how tired she was, but that would all be covered with wedding makeup anyway.

Maybe if she had taken up Harrison’s offer of letting him sleep in her room tonight, the final night they could be together, she’d be feeling much more energized.

An early morning walk was what the handmaiden expected would be the only thing to help to clear her head. And by early morning, she meant around six am. She expected there to be only the guards doing their morning shifts, however she was proved wrong when she saw all the people setting up the wedding in the grand hall. She felt herself getting choked up, this looked exactly like the wedding her and Delilah had planned together when they were no older than twelve. The only choice in her mind right now was to distance herself from the preparations as much as she could, and that meant heading outside the palace walls into the beautiful gardens.

It was quiet out there, the only sounds filling her ears being the chirping of enthusiastic birds in the air. She pulled her wrap tighter around her body, trying to keep herself warm in the slight chilly breeze caused by the wind.

The last thing she expected to find there was a small girl crying, her eyebrows furrowing in concern for the stranger. She approached cautiously, not wanting to startle her at all.

“Hello, I don’t think we’ve met.” She bent down to the small girl’s height, holding out her hand to introduce herself. “I’m Annette.”

She looked up with a sniffle and tear stained cheeks. Her eyebrows drew together, staring at the girl as if she was trying to place her.

“You’re the pretty girl that my brother’s in love with.”

Annie wasn’t sure she’d heard her right, laughing nervously as the girls tears came to a spontaneous halt.

“What’s your name?”

“Charlotte.” Annie briefly remembered Harrison mentioning the name of his little sister, that being Charlotte, so if she had to take a guess after what she just heard she could very confidently say this was Harrison’s sister. She brushed it off though more concerned with finding out what was bothering the child.

“And what’s wrong, angel?”

Charlotte explained to the woman how she’d managed to lose one of her dolls and the gardens were now one of the only places she had left to search, and upon quick glance it wasn’t there. Annie reassured her that they would find it together, offering her hand as they began to look around through the rows of flowers.

The Prince did not expect to see the lovely handmaiden holding his sister's hand when he was told the Princess was running around somewhere outside.

Harrison didn’t need this today, seeing Annie be so good with his little sister was just forcing him deeper in love with her. It hurt worse than anything he could’ve imagined.

He cleared his throat when he was close enough that he was sure they’d hear him. Their heads whipped around, Annie’s smile slowly dissolving from her lips. Charlotte was the opposite, grinning wider with her gappy smile as she ran towards her big brother.

“Hi, precious.” Nothing needed to be said. There was a lot of pain in this one area and even Charlotte was sensing it, the poor eleven year old confused as to what was happening. “Can you head inside for me, go find mum?” She nodded her head, waving goodbye to the woman she’d just met. The pair watched her scatter off before succumbing to the all too unfamiliar awkward silence that engulfed them.

Harrison opened his mouth to speak, to tell her what? He didn’t know. Maybe he’d apologise for not fighting harder for this wedding to not go ahead, or for not fighting hard enough in the early hours of this morning, but it didn’t matter anyway, because in a matter of seconds Annie’s lips were on his and that was all he needed.

So many unsaid words were forgotten as soon as her soft lips met his slightly chapped ones, but she didn’t care about that, it was like a wake up call.

That would be for sure the last kiss they got to share, filled with so much passion and love that it was a shame that it was ruined by their salty tears streaming down from their closed eyes.

“I have to go get ready,” she whispered, pulling away and letting her eyes flutter open. Harrison was thinking, and she could tell, taking that time to admire his face. It was something she’d begun to do out of instinct whenever she was this close to him. He sighed, his breath fanning her face. She watched as he opened his eyes, meeting hers instantly. He nodded, sniffling before turning his head and kissing her palm like he’d done just a few hours before, with the softest puppy eyes looking in her direction.

He cleared his throat, deciding to put his heart on the line, knowing she wouldn't let him fall.

“I love you Annie, with my entire heart.” The corner of her lips twitched, a gentle, barely there smile teasing him. That was the first proper time he’d said those words to her, catching the air from his lungs. For a few seconds he was terrified she wouldn’t say it back, breathing heavily through his nose as his eyes nervously flickered over every one of her features.

“I love you too.”

The ceremony came around quicker than anyone wanted. The morning rushed by in a flash or nerves and helpless tears from both females getting ready. The girls had a chance to reconcile properly, telling each other this was no one’s fault but the much higher royals. With a lot of breathing and makeup retouches and they were ready to go, flowers in hand and hearts in pieces.

The doors opened and the classic music began to play, Harrison focusing his eyes on the large archway. Everything became a blur of white noise when his eyes focused on her, the beige coloured dress trailing along the floor, her beauty completely mind numbing, ruined by the water welling up in her gorgeous eyes.

Annie's teary eyes mirrored Harrison’s as she walked down the never ending pathway that was the aisle. He sent her a warm smile, the glimmer of adoration he always got when he saw her ever so present. He thought she looked beautiful, she was taking his breath away even though she did that on a normal basis. He could only imagine this is what it’d be like waiting for her at the end of the aisle. His eyes drifted to Tom’s, the man who was the one leading her down the aisle, their arms locked while she carried a bouquet of pretty roses.

He looked very formal in the suit he’d been given to wear. Harrison was insistent that whether they were on talking terms or not, his best friend was going to be a part of his wedding. This was possibly the first emotion besides anger and disappointment that Tom had shown him all week. His eyes were mirroring Harrison’s, a sense of lingering sadness behind them.

Not too much longer and Harrison was taking a deep breath as the priest before them began to speak, reciting the same things Harrison had heard at every wedding he’d ever been to.

He glanced out at the people watching for a moment, seeing all the mixed expressions and emotions in the crowd. He gave a small, discreet wave when he noticed that the entire Holland family had gone, Paddy sitting there with a rather evident frown on his face, even at ten years old he knew this wasn’t how this was meant to go.

“Prince Harrison, do you take her royal highness Princess Delilah-“ Annie bit her lip nervously, so hard she was almost drawing blood. It felt like the worst kind of torture, seeing your best friend marry the man you’re in love with. As it happens, Harrison’s plan didn’t work, just like he had expected it wouldn’t even if it was worth a try. He thought if he was honest with his mother and more or less begged her not to make him go through with this, that there’d be a slight chance of sympathy from her, but oh how wrong he was.

“Mother please, I need to talk to you.” She sighed, stopping in her step and also tugging Charlotte to a halt to face her son. She had a rather annoyed look on her face, but at the end of the day Harrison was her child, so seeing him look so hopeless and torn up destroyed her inside.

“Please don’t make me do this, I don’t love her I-”

“There is nothing we can do, we need this unity Harrison.” He huffed, running his hands through his hair with a dry laugh. “I’m sorry, honestly I am, I see the way you look at Annette.”

Harrison sniffled, trying to push away the tears from the stress of the moment. Charlotte hated to see her brother this way, wishing she could do anything to make sure he got his fairy-tale ending with the girl he loved.

“If you truly were sorry, you wouldn’t do this.”

And with that he walked away, losing his hold on the last bit of faith he had for him and Annie to ever be together.

The wedding was beautiful, and no one could deny that. Delilah had been perfecting it since she was a child, but it was all unfortunately overshadowed by how much they didn’t want it, any of it. The pair at the altar had no idea how they were meant to keep up a loveless marriage for the rest of their lives, especially if they were expected to have children. While she was overthinking the night before, Annie realised she’d have to go back to her job as normal eventually, but Lilah would be Harrison’s wife, and everyday she would be helping her get ready in their room, for them to complete royal business together.

It was getting hard for her to hold back her tears now. The girl wiped them away as quickly as they fell so no one would see. But someone did, and that person just had to be Queen Alice.

“Oh, it’s lovely isn’t it?” She’d clearly taken these for happy tears, the woman taking the younger ones hand in hers to hold tightly as she watched her daughter get married. Annie’s eyes drifted to the Queen, but seeing as she didn’t trust her voice at the moment she just simply nodded her head.

When she looked back her eyes locked with Harrison’s ocean ones. Except now it looked like an ocean in a storm, grey, dark and cloudy. She had to force herself to look away, sniffling quietly.

Then it came time for the vows, the vows that Harrison wrote with Annie in mind, only she didn’t know that much. Hearing the words spilling out of his mouth, about his eternal love, about the times they’d spent together even in the short time they’d known each other, about how much she meant to him; It destroyed her inside.

There was a look shared between the handmaiden and the stable boy from opposite sides of the room. The look that told the other that their hearts were basically in pieces right about now, they were in the exact same boat, and the boat was sinking drastically fast. Harrison and Delilah were only just managing to hold it together out of professionalism only. They had been trained their whole lives to act stoic in moments of severe stress and anger.

“I now pronounce you, Husband and Wife.” There were cheers and applause from most people throughout the room, the people that didn’t see the obvious act the royals were putting on for their families' selfish deal. “You may kiss the bride.”

The kiss was stiff and awkward, nothing like what the Prince felt that first time he kissed Annie, as well as any other time he kissed her because it never seemed to lose its excitement or spark. Tom watched in disgust, turning his head away with a prominent frown.

“Paddy?” Tom whispered, turning his head to look at his younger brother with tears in his eyes. The boy frowned, placing his hand on his brother’s arm comfortingly. “What was the message of that book? The one you were reading that day in the stable.”

“Romeo and Juliet?” he asked, unsure. Tom nodded, remembering the familiar sounding name. “Not all love stories have a happy ending.”

━━━━━━━━━♡♥♡━━━━━━━━━

harrison osterfield taglist → @seutarose @euphorichxlland @hjoficrecs @call-me-baby-gir1 @hazardosterfield @icyhollands @hollandbroz-n-haz @hopelessly-harry @siriuslyslyslytherin @musicalkeys-blog @itstaskeen @zspideyy @chrisosterfield @givebuckyhisplumsnow @lowkey-holland @hollandcrush @wizkiddx @sannie-san-shine @hopeless-romantic-baby @thehumanistsdiary @dummiesshort @itsbieberxholland @lillucyandthejets @piscesparker @bvttercupbby @kujokura @l0velyevans @jess-holland23 @captainamirica @gog0juice @annathesillyfriend @whoeveniskendall

#harrison osterfield #tom holland #tom holland fluff #harrison osterfield imagines #harrison osterfield oneshot #harrison osterfield imagine #harrison osterfield fluff #harrison osterfield angst

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homeformyheart · 3 years

Note

hey~

hope you are having an amazing week!

how would you feel about doing a noah harris x mc request from the best vs worst prompts?

maybe 21. best day at school vs worst day at school OR 27. best game vs worst game?

hi anon! thank you for the request, #27 was fitting and allowed me to close-out the chapter of my noah x mc arc (a little bit got cut out from my outline, but at least now it's finished).

author’s note: when I got this prompt, I decided to take the outline I had written for a continuation of my other MTFL fics and retro-fit it here, which is why it’s a bit longer than typical prompt fills. this finally gave me the motivation to continue the relationship I started in “first choice” and “the perfect gift.” I also drew some real-life inspiration from patrick mahomes of the kansas city chiefs (national football league in the u.s.). enjoy!

copyright: all characters owned by pixelberry studios. series/pairing: my two first loves - noah harris x mc (emma price) rating/warnings: 13+; none based on/prompt: best vs. worst / 27. best game vs. worst game; also inspired by the song “never really over” by katy perry word count: 1.7k summary: two years after graduating college and agreeing to go their separate ways, the universe seems to want emma and noah back together.

best game vs. worst game

worst game

emma tapped her finger on her thigh nervously as she waited in her boss’s office for her first assignment. she had spent the last two years since graduating college curating a travel blog for a small magazine, which had allowed her to travel all over europe, north america, and south america – an experience she knew was probably once-in-a-lifetime.

but she was homesick and decided to return stateside once her contract was up. it didn’t take long to find a position with a professional agency that contracts photographers out for high-profile athletic and celebrity events. even as a junior photographer, she was going to have the chance to take her own photos.

her boss finally handed her a sheet of paper without so much as a glance, motioning toward the door. emma supposed she was excused then, quickly scanning the sheet as she walked out to her car. a pre-nfl charity meet-and-greet was the assignment, and if she wanted, she could stick around to take some back-up photos of the game.

seemed easy enough. except the team was the nightingales. where her ex-boyfriend was currently the quarterback.

a little over two years ago

noah gripped emma’s hand, leg thumping nervously in anticipation. his other hand held hazel’s, who wasn’t faring much better at keeping still. on the other hand, mrs. harris had sat frozen still in front of the t.v. for the last thirty minutes, and emma had to keep glancing over to make sure she was still breathing.

to say they were all on edge was an understatement. in a matter of minutes, they’d find out of noah was going to become a professional football player.

“and the twenty-third pick goes to… noah harris!”

the room filled with squeals as they all jumped up from the couch and gathered noah into a giant group hug. his arm never left emma��s waist, even as he lifted hazel off the ground in excitement.

“you’re coming with me, right?”

she avoided his gaze, choosing to hug him and duck her head underneath his chin instead.

“tonight is about you! we can talk about us tomorrow. we should be celebrating!”

emma took a deep breath and pulled her car out onto the main road, making sure her phone was navigating to the stadium. she hadn’t seen or spoken to noah since they broke up – even though he tried to understand her reasoning, which was that he needed to focus on football and she was going to be traveling constantly – and she wondered if he was still upset.

if they ran into each other, would he even acknowledge her?

her mind raced with different scenarios of how their “reunion” could go and before she knew it, she was pulling into the stadium parking lot reserved for press. you’re here to do a job, she reminded herself as she took a deep breath and made her way into the meet-and-greet area where players were speaking to and hanging out with several families and children.

she took a quick look around and sighed in relief when she didn’t see noah anywhere. she could do this.

about an hour later, she was packing up her equipment. the game would start soon and she needed to get into position. she hefted her bag onto her shoulder carefully before standing up, immediately wobbling under the weight and losing her balance.

a strong arm wrapped around her waist and steadied her.

“thank you—” her voice died in her throat as she looked up at the man that still haunted her dreams.

his eyes and face were mostly the same, but there was a hardened edge to them that wasn’t there a few years ago. his body and shoulders were much larger as well, and he pretty much overwhelmed her frame.

“hey cheerleader.”

she swallowed. “hi, noah.”

his hand lingered even as she righted herself and cleared her throat nervously.

“good luck—”

“it’s good to—”

they chuckled, tension broken for the moment as they looked into each other’s eyes.

“harris, let’s go!”

noah shoved his hands in his pockets and took a step back. “maybe we could catch up after the game, if you want to.”

her eyes brightened. “i’d love to.”

they didn’t get the chance. the world seemed to move in slow motion when emma saw noah go down in the pocket from a particularly bad tackle. he had to be carried off the field in a stretcher and it was all she could do to keep from running onto the field.

they had broken up so he could focus on his career. she hoped it wasn’t in vain.

best game

two years later

emma crouched low to the ground with her long-range camera, snapping pictures of the huddle. there was less than twenty seconds left in the game – just enough, if barely, time for one last play. they needed a touchdown. and she could feel the nervous energy in her body thrumming in time with that of the crowd.

when noah went down with that horrific injury a couple years ago, most people wrote him off and didn’t think he’d play again. and if he somehow managed to recover? they all just said he probably wouldn’t be the same. a collarbone injury was usually a career death sentence for quarterbacks.

but the media, press, and so-called sportscasters didn’t know noah like she did. how strong a fighter he was. how he picked himself back up after every setback and pushed onward.

this time, she was with him every step of the way.

that didn’t mean he had an easy go of it.

he had to get surgery and go through months of intense physical therapy to get his shoulder feeling back to normal. then he had rehab for football to try to get back into form. and there was always doubt as to whether he’d be as good as before.

the season hadn’t gone smoothly. they scraped and clawed their way to the playoffs, with opposing teams taking advantage of noah’s occasional hesitance in the pocket and conservative throwing by pressuring his position. but somehow, they pulled through.

sportscasters all over would remark about how something seemed to just “click” back into place for noah harris.

only noah and emma knew what that something was.

a few weeks earlier

“are you nervous?”

noah hummed thoughtfully as his hand trailed up and down emma’s shoulder.

“surprisingly, no,” he said after a moment. “win or lose, i have everything i’ve ever wanted right here in my arms.”

emma chuckled. “when did you become such a romantic?”

“you know you bring it out of me.”

he turned on his side so he could nuzzle his nose in her hair. “you’re it for me, babe.”

“me too, noah. i mean it. if you’ll have me forever, i want that with you.”

noah pulled back to look at her. “for real?”

she nodded.

of course, emma couldn’t say with confidence that their conversation made that big of a difference, but noah’s performance every game afterward seemed to be nothing short of miraculous. by all means, his shoulder should still be giving him trouble, but the way he was throwing today in the championship game would make anyone wonder if he had been injured at all.

but this was it. everything was riding on this last play.

they were down by three points and too far for a field goal. a touchdown would end the game and clinch the championship. the team wasn’t known for playing it safe, not with noah and his arm at the helm.

emma was glued to her camera lens and clicking away, but she was barely focused on the shots. she just hoped the footage was positioned correctly and usable. she heard noah call out the play and quickly scanned the field as players moved into position.

a hail mary.

it really was going to come down to these last few seconds.

she saw the wide receiver break through the line and speed down the field, turning back to where noah had stepped back, arm poised to throw. on instinct, emma moved her camera up and snapped the shutter, capturing the exact moment noah released the ball, right before he was tackled to the ground.

and then everything seemed to move in slow motion.

she swung the camera to the left, finding the receiver in the end zone with his arms outstretched. he jumped up and the ball came arcing directly into his arms and the stadium roared with such an intensity she thought she was going deaf.

emma quickly put away her camera and left her bag with her assistant before running on to the confetti-strewn field, weaving around reports, players, and staff.

she knew noah got tackled. she needed to see that he was okay.

despite the reporters surrounding him, she squeezed her way through and wrapped her arms around him.

“i’m so glad you’re okay,” she yelled over the stadium noise. “i knew you could do it.”

noah smiled and removed her hands from his neck. she frowned in confusion as he took a step back and dropped to one knee.

“what are you doing?”

he was holding out a ring box in his hand and she had no clue how that got there. did a trainer or someone sneak that over to him?

it didn’t matter. it didn’t matter that they were surrounded by tens of thousands of screaming fans or that this moment was likely being broadcasted live by the sheer number of cameras around them. it didn’t matter that his friends and teammates were all hollering and creating a protective circle around them.

all she could see was the love of her life looking up at her like she was the most precious thing in the world.

“the championship ring we just won today is nothing compared to what this ring means right here,” he said, opening the box to reveal a very sizable diamond.

“marry me, em?”

emma squealed, not caring that it made her look like an excited teenager.

“of course, i’ll marry you!”

noah carefully placed the ring on her finger before wrapping his arms around her waist and lifting her up. he swung her around before placing her carefully back on the ground, bringing her in for a deep kiss.

“i love you,” he whispered against her lips.

“i love you too, noah,” she whispered back as they held hands and headed off the field.

* * * * * taglist: @choicesficwriterscreations; @khoicesbyk; @nyastarlight; @chetachisblog; @robintora; @shows-simp-card; @brycesgirl;

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angst-fairygodmother · 3 years

Note

“Are you planning to stay glued to my side this whole evening?” with diego alsooooo i love youuuuu

A/N: Thank you for choosing Fic Flash Pass (happy much-belated birthday). I would like to express through the following series of emojis how excited I am to finally write a fic for you: 😁💙💙🎉🎈😁 Word Count: 2517

Being close friends with Diego Hargreeves meant putting up with a lot of weird shit over the years. It meant late nights where he showed up injured or exhausted and needing your help. It meant occasional knives flying past your head when you startled him. It meant his paranoia and lectures about how it wasn’t safe to walk home alone at night, even though he had taken the time to teach you self-defense early on in your friendship. For a while it meant repeated “just for one night” instances of his strung-out brother sleeping on your couch (because he was refusing treatment, and even though he wouldn’t admit it Diego cared enough about him to want to make sure he’d be okay). And you put up with all of it, without complaint, because Diego was worth it.

You thought at this point that nothing he asked of you could surprise you anymore. And then he asked you to attend his sister’s wedding. Or really, practically begged you to be his date.

You were pulling a bullet out of his shoulder, lecturing him about how he was taking too many unnecessary risks, and if he was going to keep going after bad guys then he needed to start wearing better protective gear and he was damn lucky that his knife-harness was there to mitigate the wound.

“Allison’s getting married,” he blurted out, cutting you off before you could start in on the second, familiar branch of your lecture (that he should really be getting his wounds treated by someone with actual medical expertise, not just a little first aid training).

“Oh,” you said, not quite a question but also not quite not. You weren’t sure what he wanted you to do with that information.

“I have to go to the wedding,” he continued stiffly.

“That makes sense. She is your sister.” You raised an eyebrow. “You aren’t asking me to muck up this bullet removal so you have an excuse not to, are you?”

You were loath to admit that if that was indeed what he was asking, you might just do it. There wasn’t a lot you wouldn’t do if he asked, and after all this time you knew how to do it in a way that wouldn’t actually cause him worse harm.

“I can’t go alone!” His eyes were wide and frightened, as if attending Allison’s wedding was a fate less than death that he had been asked to undertake. You couldn’t help but laugh at the expression.

“I’m sure you can find a date, handsome guy like you. And Patch is still a friend, so she’d go. If only out of pity.” You smiled teasingly.

“Will you…” he mumbled. “W-w-will you go with me?”

Your breath caught in your throat. Part of you questioned if you heard him correctly. But if anything, his stutter made it more sure than less. He only stuttered when something was really emotional for him, when his mind was fighting itself. But you didn’t understand why (or maybe you did and just didn’t want to admit it).

“If you still want me to after the next five minutes,” you said, trying to calm your racing heart by collecting the supplies for the next part of his care. “Then I would be happy to go to your sister’s wedding with you, Diego. What else are friends for?”

“Why wouldn’t I--” his question was cut off with a shout of pain as you pressed a cloth soaked in antiseptic to the wound.

“Because of that,” you smirked, quickly cleaning the area and covering it over with gauze and binding.

The ballroom where the reception was held was beyond opulent: towering flower arrangements, crystal chandeliers and gleaming golden candelabras, and every spare inch draped in ivory silk. You could practically see yourself reflected in the polished surface of the floors.

“Wow,” you breathed. “Your sister really spared no expense…”

Diego shrugged uncomfortably. “Allison’s always been a little dramatic,” he mumbled.

“It’s pretty,” you turned to smile at him. “Anyway, you should go mingle and at least say hello to her. I’m going to find our table.”

Diego followed you as you wandered off into the dining portion of the reception hall. When you raised a questioning eyebrow, he mumbled something about it making sense for him to know where the table was too, so he didn’t have to hunt later. You shrugged.

After setting down your purse and shawl, you decided to mingle, maybe pick at a few of the hors d'oeuvres laid out on long, extravagant table displays. Once again, Diego trailed just behind you. You tried to ignore the oddity of the behavior as you picked up a shrimp puff and set it on one of the heavy little china plates. The fact that he wasn’t saying anything as he hovered annoyed you most of all.

After the third conversation that you tried to have with other guests that ended in an awkward glance over your shoulder at a glowering Diego and a hasty retreat with a half-assed excuse, you decided you’d had enough. He hadn’t gone to offer his congratulations to Allison and Patrick. He hadn’t so much as looked around for his other siblings or anyone else he might know. He hadn’t eaten anything. He just...followed you. It was very odd behavior and it was getting on your last nerve.

Setting your empty dish down heavily on an empty table space, not even caring whose it was, you turned to him, arms folded over your chest.

“Alright, that’s it,” you snapped, not caring who might overhear. “What is going on with you?”

He frowned, puzzled and tried to deny that there was anything going on.

“Oh, don’t give me that bullshit. You have been looming and lurking and following me around like a lost puppy since we got here. Are you planning to stay glued to my side this whole evening?”

His frown deepened, and he opened his mouth to speak, only to snap it shut again with an audible click.

“Because if you are, the least you can do is dance with me.” You held out a hand. “It is a wedding after all.”

Hesitantly, he took your hand and let you lead him out onto the dance floor. He pulled you close to him, one hand in yours and the other wrapped around his waist. You placed your free one on his shoulder, his suit jacket soft and warm beneath your palm. You felt your face heat under his gaze, now focused down on you and you tried not to let it faze you, focusing on a slight crease in his lapel as if that would let you escape it.

The two of you twirled across the floor, falling into easy step together, each surprised at the other’s dancing abilities.

You licked your lips nervously. Something about being here like this with him was making you think about things you had pushed aside (namely the crush on him that you had developed and decided early on in your friendship wasn’t worth the risk of losing him in your life, fearing that you could never compare to his detective) and you wanted it to stop. But at the same time, for a moment everything was perfect, and you didn’t want to ruin it.

“So…” you said eventually as the two of you slowed and the song changed. “Want to tell me what’s going on?”

His hand shifted slightly, tugging you a little closer to him, your face practically pressed to his chest, as the next song began. As you danced and he avoided answering your question, you decided to find the answer on your own. You knew him well enough.

There was a slight tremor in his hand which gripped yours a little tighter than necessary. His jaw is set tightly, twitching just enough for you to suspect he’s grinding his teeth together. His breath is a little short. If you didn’t know any better, you’d say he was...afraid?

“Seriously, Diego, are you alright?” you murmured, trying to catch his eye.

He startled at the sound of your voice. “What?”

“You’re acting really strangely and you seem...upset. You haven’t spoken to your sister at all even though it’s her wedding.”

“I’m not upset. And I’ll talk to Allison later, she’s busy with all her other guests,” he argued, eyebrows knitting in a frown.

“You’re not upset? Okay, then explain to me why you’re holding my hand so tightly you’ll be getting a bill from my physical therapist on Monday.”

He dropped your hand like it had burned him and stuttered out an apology.

“Relax, it was a joke.” You frowned. “Let’s go out to the balcony. I feel like we both could use some air.”

Without waiting for an answer you grabbed his arm and dragged him in the direction of the double doors and the candle-lit, if slightly chilly, night. As soon as you passed out of the crowded room, you could feel the tension pour off of Diego and you breathed a sigh of relief. The pair of you moved to lean on the rail, shoulders just barely brushing.

“I...don’t belong here,” he sighed. “I’m just going to screw something up.”

“What are you talking about Diego?”

He shook his head. “Allison has this grand life. Big movie star L.A. life, and if I talk to her I’ll...what would we even talk about? We haven’t seen each other in years. I haven’t seen any of them in years.”

“That’s not true, you saw Klaus six months ago,” you joked, not sure how else to comfort him.

You knew what he was trying to say. He felt like Allison had moved on, and built a new life where her siblings were unwelcome, the invitation to her wedding a mere formality that for some reason all of them, save, thankfully, their father, had accepted. And on some level, you thought, he was probably right.

“Is that why you were nervous to ask me to be your date? Not that I’m a date-date, but I can imagine why having a real date would make things weirder and that’s really not the point, anyway...Because you don’t think you should have come at all?” you asked.

He shrugged.

“No,” you said, turning to face him and taking one of his hands in both of yours. “Please talk to me Diego. Maybe I can help?”

“How could you possibly help, Y/N?” he snapped, running his free hand through his short-cropped hair.

“I don’t know! You’ve got me playing damn guessing games when I came to this wedding where all I know is you and the junkie in the corner talking to the air,” you gestured back through the doors at Klaus who was doing exactly that, “for you. Because I care about you, and I thought maybe you needed, maybe you wanted me here. So you tell me Diego. Or maybe I should just leave.”

“No!” his eyes widened at the threat. “Please don’t leave.”

You pressed your lips together, feeling tears well up in your eyes and praying that no one thought to glance outside to where the two of you were arguing. If there was a way to ruin a wedding it was the bride’s brother and his date having a screaming match. You had said your piece, so now you watched him expectantly, waiting for him.

He sighed deeply and turned away from you, eyes seeming to focus on a point off in the gardens below somewhere.

“I knew this whole thing was going to be uncomfortable,” he explained very slowly, and you instinctively reached over again to cover one of his hands with yours where it gripped the bannister tightly.

“But I thought it would be worse not to come at all.”

You nodded in understanding, leaning closer to hear him better over the wind and the din from inside.

“And everything’s easier when...with you So I thought...”

Your heart skipped a beat. In all the years of your friendship, he had never said anything like that before. You knew that you counted him among your best friends, and that he didn’t have very many friends in general, making you one of a rare and exclusive caliber, but to hear him come this close to admitting it was strange and new and oddly thrilling.

“But,” he glanced back at you before returning to his vigil, “you looked so beautiful tonight that,” he shook his head, “instead it reminded me of how incredible you are, and how it’s just one more thing for me to ruin.”

“Diego,” you frowned. “I don’t understand. What’s one more thing for you to ruin? My outfit? I would be pretty pissed if I was dressed like this and you pulled your usual superhero nonsense and bled all over me or something but I don’t think that’s going to be a problem here.”

“Don’t joke, Y/N. Not when I’m trying to be serious.”

“I’m not joking Diego. Okay maybe I am a bit, but only because I’m not following you. What don’t you want to ruin?”

“You!” he cried, throwing himself back around to face you. “I don’t want to ruin you!”

You resisted the urge to call attention to the innuendo there, especially since doing so would probably include admitting that you would not mind it a wink. Instead you bit your lip, thinking fast and trying to piece together what he was saying to you, about you.

“How could you possibly ruin me Diego?” you blurted out. “That doesn’t even make sense.”

“I’ve already started you know,” he mused softly. “You don’t even flinch anymore when I show up injured and need you to stitch a wound or dig out shrapnel or glass. You have such a good heart and care so much, I don’t want you to end up...like me.”

“There is nothing in the world that could get me to dress in leather and fight bad guys and get punched a lot. And the rest of you, I don’t see how it would be a bad thing to be like.”

He scoffed.

“I’m serious Diego. After all, you have the biggest, sweetest heart and soul in the city. Or you wouldn’t be out there every night saving people. It’s what I love most about you.”

Your hand came up to cup his jaw instinctively, marveling at the feel of his stubble against your palm and how perfectly fit it seemed to be to rest there. He looked beautiful in the dim lights, like an artist’s painting of a hero or a god. You breath caught in your throat as he leaned into your touch, his eyes fluttering shut.

“Y/N, I…” he reached blindly out for you, catching your other wrist in his hand, sliding down hesitantly to lace his fingers through yours.

“Diego, unless I’ve read the room completely wrong, there’s nothing more that needs to be said,” you chuckled. “So just shut up and kiss me, already?”

#don't think I forgot my promise for your birthday to jump your first request/a fic for you once we shared a fandom to the top of the queue #this ended up very Soft so I hope that's cool #😅#Diego Hargreeves x Reader #The Umbrella Academy fic #p.s. LOVE YOU TOO

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maevemarethyu · 3 years

Text

Unexpected (1/?)

Summary: A Bucky x Reader fic

You weren’t expecting it. Neither of you were.

That didn’t mean you weren’t happy with how it ended.

Warnings: Cheating, Threats, Sad Boi Hour, Heatbreak, I’m not quite sure what else.

“Your husband is fucking my wife.”

Those were not the words you were expecting to hear when you open your door on a cool Wednesday night. Even more shocking was the man who said them: James Buchannan Barnes.

An Avenger was on your doorstep with red-rimmed eyes and a stoic look on his handsome face.

Your first instinct is to deny the accusation. Your husband loves you! You’d been married for nearly six years. You had been high school sweethearts, you never went to bed angry, you had your neighbors over for game days, hell you had just gone on your weekly date night yesterday!

A date night that he had to leave early because of an emergency at the station but, he couldn’t help that. He was a police officer for the NYPD and he couldn’t control when bad guys decided to be bad.

Right?

Yes. Your husband loves you which is why he hates working late all the time and he spoils you with gifts and flowers. He’s been planning you both a surprise trip for vacation which is why he never let you see his phone or laptop. He had gone to your favorite store to buy you a new perfume which is why his shirts smelled like rose instead of your signature lemon and rosemary scent.

Right?

The tears welling in your eyes make you realize just how much of a fool you really were and suddenly, all you want to do is scream. Your lips fall open to follow through but, your voice won’t comply and all that comes out is a single syllable.

“Oh.” You had never thought a two-letter word could hold so much heartbreak and, apparently neither did the ex-Winter Soldier because his mask of aloofness falls, revealing raw and unhidden heartbreak in his blue eyes.

The two of you stay silent for a moment, processing his words while staring at one another. The unspoken question of now what? lingers between you. What does one do when their world is shattering around them? When you find out that the person you thought was the love of your life was sleeping with another woman.

Last night… Patrick came home late and you two…

“I’m going to be sick.” You announce blearily before rushing to the bathroom and emptying the contents of your stomach. This couldn’t be happening. This was all just some sick dream because there was no way Patrick would do this to you; with the Winter Soldier’s wife no less. You were normally impeccable at spotting a liar but, you had been duped.

“I’m sorry.” The aforementioned soldier’s voice startles you and you wipe the sick from your mouth before facing him. “I-I thought you deserved to know.”

You appreciated it. Really, you did but, you couldn’t bring yourself to thank him. Ignorance wasn’t a good color on you but, you needed time to let the thoughts swirling in your mind settle. Speaking of swirling, you suddenly remember to flush the toilet with a cringe. You could handle blood, excrement, urine and everything in between but, vomit? That was your weak point and it made this whole situation burn more than the acid that had crawled up your throat.

Yet, there was no judgement in his blue eyes when you finally get the courage to look at him; only understanding.

Of course he was understanding. He was probably the only person on the planet that could understand your situation in depth. He was in the thick of it with you.

“I’m sorry too.” You manage after several deep breaths and his jaw clenches tightly. You didn’t know what you were apologizing for but, you could tell he appreciated it; his face was quite expressive for a well-known soldier turned assassin turned hero. “I’m Y/N.”

You knew he knew your name (how else would he have found you) but, you still felt the need to introduce yourself no matter how shitty of a situation you were in. His blue eyes widen in realization before shooting to his boots.

“Ah, shit. I really just rushed here and- That wasn’t the right way to go about this.” Understatement of the century. “James Barnes.” He finishes.

You would have called the way he stumbled over his words cute if your heart wasn’t currently lying in the bottom of your stomach in a million pieces with Patrick’s name written on every shard. It hurt.

“You know, I used to think writers exaggerated how heartbreak felt.” You let out a humorless and bitter laugh. “I didn’t think it could hurt this much.”

The cold tile of your bathroom floor was starting to make you butt ache but, you can’t bring yourself to move from your position resting against the bathtub and you accept this as your new life. Counting the tiles until the pain passes.

He hums in response, sliding down to the floor across from you, back against the wall. “This definitely ranks in the top five shittiest things to happen to me.”

That said something if everything you read about the Winter Soldier and HYDRA was true. You never could understand how people could treat each other so cruelly. Why someone would go out of their way to cause another pain. It just didn’t make sense to you.

Your next door neighbor’s music lilted through the walls as it did every night and it gave you an odd sense of comfort. She was a cello player and always seemed to play whenever you were having a bad day. You and James sit in silence and your eyes fall closed as you listen to her rendition of Electric Love.

It was one of your favorites but, Patrick always complained about the noise. Patrick.

The cheating, lying, manipulative piece of shit.

“How did you find out?” You hiss, immediately regretting the words as soon as they leave your mouth. You didn’t want to know. Right now you just wanted to curl up on your couch and eat enough ice cream to put you into a coma.

He clears his throat and you open your eyes to meet his. The pain in them shone clear and you could feel tears welling up again.

“I had my suspicions. Cla- She had been acting weird for a few months but, she kept turning it onto me. Told me I was imagining things.” His voice was thick with emotion and it broke the dam keeping the tears in your eyes. “It was Sam that saw them. He was testing out Redwing and we thought it would be funny to check on ou- the apartment; maybe tap it on the window and scare her a bit. Guess the joke was on me.”

Oh. You got sick just thinking about it. You couldn’t imagine seeing it first hand.

“I didn’t go home last night. Steve made me stay at the compound while Tony ran facial recognition on your… Tony told me he was married and I came straight here.”

His words cause you to sputter. “You mean they don’t know we know?!”

He shakes his head and a shaky breath leaves your lungs. You were half hoping Patrick got his ass handed to him Avengers style and that’s why he hadn’t come home yet; save you the trauma of confronting him yourself.

The other half of you was glad. You had more than a few choice words for your husband; the first ones being We’re getting divorced.

“I didn’t know how to face her.” He whispers and your ears barely catch it. He sounded so defeated and you were sure it matched the look on your face. You didn’t deserve this. He didn’t deserve this. He was a goddamn hero.

The anger doubles in your chest, making up for his lack of. You’d never seen anyone so broken, hell, you’ve never felt so broken in your entire life and the people causing it were none the wiser. Patrick had told you he was staying at the station tonight but, you knew better now.

He was with her. They were together while you and James were crying on your bathroom floor, trying to salvage what was left of your hearts.

And you were starting now.

You pull your phone out of your pocket and dial the number of one of your best friends, ignoring James’ curious blue eyes. It rings exactly two times before you hear a warm hello?

“Hey Mattie.” Trying to keep your voice level fails miserably when you sniffle. “I- uh. Can we meet for breakfast tomorrow? Foggy too?”

“Y/N. What-“ You cut him off with a please and he agrees reluctantly. You agree to meet him at your favorite diner at nine tomorrow morning. You just had to get through tonight.

“Thank you Matt. I’ll see you tomorrow.” You hang up the phone and chuck it past James’ head, through the open door, and it hit the wall with a satisfying crack; catching the Avenger off guard. You weren’t a pacifist but, you weren’t usually so violent. You almost pitied Barnes, he was seeing the worst of you tonight and it was his first time meeting you.

“Friend of yours?” He asks with a barely there smile and you nod while chuckling at your own outburst.

“He’s my best friend… and a lawyer. I want the divorce papers ready so I can shove them in Pat’s stupid face when I confront him.” You notice his jaw twitch at the mention of divorce and you eye his sour look curiously. “What? You don’t expect me to stay with him after this, do you?”

Wide eyes meet yours and he shakes his head slowly. “No. It’s not that. It’s just divorce wasn’t really common in the thirties.”

Oh his sweet summer soul. You had almost forgotten he was a man out of time; still adjusting to the new age. It made your blood boil to think that his wife would betray him like this.

“Welcome to the twenty first century. Where you don’t have to stay married to cheating spouses.” You mutter, raising an invisible glass in a toast.

“How?” He asks, catching you off guard.

“How what? How does one get a divorce?” He nods, looking lost and you don’t hesitate. “Come meet my friends with me. This is all new for me too and I trust them with my life.”

You didn’t want to mention that you honestly wanted him there because he was proof that you weren’t the only one fooled. You weren’t alone in this.

“Are you sure? I understand that its private and-“

“Privacy went out the window when your wife fucked my husband.” You scoff, mirroring his crude language from earlier; he winces before apologizing again.

Your phone goes off in the hallway, signifying the timer you had set was finished and you stand with a groan; joints popping from sitting on the floor for too long. Your mind immediately switches in to work mode; eyes going dry and breathing evening out. It was a superpower of yours; the ability to compartmentalize your feelings.

“I need to feed Laysa.” You walk past the man on the floor, missing the look of horror on the man’s face. “She gets cranky when she’s hungry.”

He doesn’t speak but, he follows you into the kitchen. You had premade the bottle so all you had to do was microwave it for a few seconds. You suppose having a stranger following you around in your home should be more worrying but, you were just happy you weren’t alone; having the ex-Winter Soldier near you felt as natural as breathing and you didn’t have the mental capacity to question why as of right now.

Barnes opens and closes him mouth a few times, looking as if he wanted to ask you a question but, unable to get the words out.

“How old is she?” He manages after nearly a minute of silence and you answer without much thought.

“Four weeks.” You hum, pulling the bottle out of the microwave and testing the temperature on your arm. “You know Ophelia’s Diner on West 49th?”

Once you’re sure the bottle is warm enough, you meet his blue eyes and a slight frown mars your face when you notice how pale he had gotten. He looks mortified but, nods anyway.

“Meet us there at nine tomorrow morning. Are you going home tonight?” You don’t know why you ask but, the thought of him having to go home and face- huh, you never actually got her name- left a rock in your stomach.

“S’gonna stay at the compound again. Make up some excuse. What about you? Are you two going to- I mean are you alright with- Is your husband?” He was stumbling on his words again and you find it oddly endearing that he was worried about you.

“Patrick is staying at the station tonight.” At least that’s what he told me You add under your breath but, its clear he hears you when his face turns grim. A painful silence envelops the room and can’t stand it so, you clear your throat and re-test the bottle.

James takes the hint and shuffles his feet, looking smaller than a man his size should. “I’m sorry again for showing up like this.”

“I appreciate you for having the balls to come here and tell me the truth.” You say with an honest, albeit dim, smile. “I’ve gotta get this to her before she gets cranky. I’ll see you tomorrow James.”

He tries to return your smile but, it comes out as more of a grimace. “Goodnight Y/N”

You watch his broad-shouldered form walk down the hall and disappear before opening the door to your spare bedroom turned nursery; weak mewls reaching you ears. You were late with the bottle and Laysa knew it. Cubs could be so dramatic.

#bucky x reader #bucky barnes #bucky fanfic #bucky #bucky x y/n

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onceuponastory · 3 years

Text

Coming Back Home - Chapter Five: The Time of My Life

“So I'll tell you something This could be love, because I've had the time of my life No, I never felt this way before Yes I swear, it's the truth And I owe it all to you” - (i’ve had) the time of my life: bill medley and jennifer warnes (aka the song from dirty dancing)

Plot: Six years ago, Y/N left her hometown and all its bad memories behind, and never looked back. But now, she’s come back to be the maid of honour in her sister’s wedding. Returning ‘home’ means she has to confront her past, the last thing she wants to do. When she meets the handsome best man Nick, she feels more comfortable…until her sister asks her to show Nick around town…a town that Y/N fell out of love with a long time ago.

Can Y/N fall back in love with the town she left behind, and maybe find love of her own along the way? (based on prompt by @orphicodysseywrites)

Tag List: @shinydixon, @baker151910 and @thesundrop. Let me know if you want to be added!

Warnings: Some mentions of alcohol

Note: I’m so sorry this chapter took so long! I’ve been super busy during Christmas because I work retail, and when I got home, I was so drained and unmotivated to write something, but here we are! I hope y’all enjoy the emotional roller coaster this chapter will take you on ;) Also, this chapter has some parts told in Nick’s POV for the first and definitely not the last time

Read the other parts / Read this story on Wattpad!

Disclaimer: I do NOT own Nick or his character! I just used Nick bc he’s the only character of Dacre’s that fits this prompt. Aside from Nick being in this, this fic has NOTHING to do with The Broken Hearts Gallery. But you should all see the movie if you can, because it’s adorable!

Later That Day

“How about this one?” Nick suggests. I scrunch my nose up. We were both trying to figure out what song to dance to at the wedding. Yes, we’ve left it late, but given everything that’s happened since we got here, can you blame us?

“Absolutely not.” Nick sighs. “What?”

"It’s a fun song! It’ll get people dancing.”

“Nick, even though we both look good, I don’t think dancing to Sexy and I Know It will be a good idea. Unless we want to give our great aunts a heart attack.” Sighing, Nick nods, crossing it off his list. “Now, I have made a playlist for this very occasion, so let me put it on...” I announce, crossing over to my phone.

“Of course you have. Katie’s told me about how many playlists you have Y/N. How many do you have now? Fifty?” Nick teases. Ignoring him, I hit play. Soon, the sounds of Waterloo by ABBA fills the room. Nick gives me a look. “ABBA? Seriously?”

“What do you mean, ‘seriously’ ?!” I ask. “They’re iconic! This song won them Eurovision!”

“That’s true, but no. No ABBA." I roll my eyes.

“No taste.” I shake my head. Ignoring me, Nick hits skip. The Time of My Life from Dirty Dancing starts playing. Nick and I look at each other. My mouth drops open, and he raises an eyebrow. “What?! This song is iconic! This scene is iconic! Patrick Swayze is an incredible dancer in this scene!”

“That’s true. He’s a great dancer. But I’m not that good.”

“I can’t judge that Nick, I’ve never seen you dance.” Nick laughs.

“That’s a good thing. You’ll see at the wedding.”

“Come on! Get some practice! Dance with me.” I urge, holding out my hands. “Please?!”

“Oh, no. Did you hear what I just said?” Ignoring him, I take his hand, gently leading him into the centre of the room. “Y/N. I’d only ever do something like this for you, but I’m telling you that I’m going to stand on your feet and you will regret ever asking me to dance with you.” He sighs, taking my other hand. I start dancing, whilst Nick stands there, awkwardly moving.

“See! This isn’t so bad!” I smile. “I’ve had...the time of my life....” I start singing. Nick laughs. “I get to endure your dancing, and you get to endure my singing. It’s only fair.”

“Guess that’s true. In that case, I should dance properly.” Nick moves closer, places his hand around my waist, and takes my other hand in his. I gasp. Did not expect him to be so close. Nick twirls me under his arm.

“I’veeee, had the time of my lifeeee...” I sing to myself. Nick laughs. “What? I know I’m not that good at singing, but this song is SO good, can you blame me?!”

“You’re not that bad.” Nick smiles, continuing to twirl and dance with me around the room. “Do you even remember the dance from this film?” He asks.

“Kinda? To be honest, all I remember is the lift. You don’t have to lift me by the way.” Nick frowns.

“I think...he dips her like this.” Nick mumbles, and before I can even do anything, he gently but effortlessly dips me. I let out a little squeal, and he quickly pulls me up, asking if I’m okay. Still breathless, I can’t even reply.

“For someone who says he can’t dance, you’re...really good.” I gasp eventually.

“Guess I’m full of surprises.” He grins. As the song draws to a close, Nick continues to hold me close. It was nice...really nice. I could stay like this forever. The music changes in the background behind us, but neither of us notice. “So...” Nick begins. “Which song do you think we should choose?”

“Well, if we pick this one, everyone will expect you to lift me.” He nods.

“We could try if you want?” He asks, dropping his hands to my waist.

“No, no, no, no, no, NICK!” I squeal as he lifts me off of my feet. “I’m ticklish! No!” I start giggling and squirming, so much so that Nick drops me. As I fall, so does he, and he lands on top of me.

“You okay?” He asks, his voice husky. I nod, breathless. He moves some hair out of my face, gazing into my eyes. “Good.” He smiles. His face has never been so close to mine before. I can see little flecks of gold in his eyes. They’re beautiful...like he is. Nick sits up and gently helps me up onto my knees. “Sure you’re okay?” He asks, and I nod again.

“Nick, it’s okay. Honestly. Thanks for today, though.” I smile, scooting over and hugging him. “Sorry you had to endure my singing though.”

“Sorry you had to endure my horrible dancing.” Nick replies. The two of us sit there for what feels like forever, but is probably just a few minutes, holding each other. Reluctantly, I pull apart.

“I better go. Katie wanted me to help finish up some of the stuff for the bachelorette party.” I announce, getting up and picking up my phone. “Bye, Nick.” I give him a small wave before walking out of the room. As soon as I’m out of his eyeshot, I lean against the wall and sigh. What is it with me these days? I had suddenly started to feel an intense desire to stay close to Nick, and spend as much time with him as possible...but gotten way more awkward at the same time. Sighing, I walk upstairs to meet Katie.

It’s probably nothing...right?

~~~

A Few Days Later: The First Night of the Bachelorette Party Weekend - 6 Days til the wedding.

“Okay, so this is the number for the hotel, even though you’re not meant to be texting or calling me....but I won’t tell!” Katie talks to Adam as I carry my suitcase towards the stairs. It’s finally here: the bachelorette party. Katie, the rest of the bridesmaids and I were travelling to a nearby town to go drinking and dancing. To save driving back to Saint Chase in the middle of the night, we were all staying in a local hotel. Sighing, I pull my suitcase towards the stairs, ready to walk down them one step at a time, whilst also trying to keep a hold on my other bags. I stifle a yawn. Since Katie and I were going down early to set up the hotel rooms, it meant we all had to get up super early, and I was nowhere near close to functioning. Not that I was usually, but today was worse.

“Need some help?” Nick asks suddenly, popping up behind me, causing me to jump and almost lose my balance. My suitcase is close to tumbling down the stairs, nearly taking me with it. But Nick holds his hands out and catches it as best as he can.

“Shit, Nick! You need to stop sneaking up on me like that!” I scold. Even though I liked seeing him, I did not like it if it meant a heart attack came along with it.

“Sorry, I just saw you were struggling, and I saw those stairs, so I thought I could help.” He shrugs. I sigh. I mean, he was right. I did need help.

“...Yeah, you’re right.” I nod. “Can you take these?” I ask, passing him most of my bags.

“God, what is IN these things?” Nick asks as he gets increasingly more laden down. “I thought you girls were only going away for the weekend?”

“Yup.” I nod, popping the p. “These bags have our sashes, some balloons, other accessories like the mini veil and tiara, headbands....the photo booth props....” I trail off when I notice Nick looking at me like I’ve grown an extra head. “Yeah, bachelorettes are intense. And Katie and I are going down early to set up, so I have to bring everything now. Hence...all this.” I gesture around with my free hand. “And this suitcase has our makeup, outfit changes, and spares, just in case.” Nick still looks horrified.

“We’re just gonna stay here, play some video games and drink some beers.” He states, making me laugh.

“Welcome to the world of the bachelorette party, Nick. Trust me, I was the same when I first started planning. Now...I am the master.” I strike a pose, and Nick laughs. “And besides, if you think this is bad, wait till you see our stuff for the day of the wedding.” Nick’s eyes go wide again, making me laugh. Nick helps me down the stairs with everything, and he and Adam help Katie and I pack the car full of our things.

“Okay, that’s us all loaded up! Bye, handsome.” Katie tells Adam, pulling him into a kiss, whilst Nick and I stand around slightly awkwardly.

“Well, uh...have fun. Be sure to...show me pictures?”

“Only if you show me some from the bachelor party too.” Nick nods. “Well...bye Nick.” I smile, giving him a small wave and walking towards the car.

“Y/N, wait!” He calls, and I turn around. He walks up to me and gently takes my hands in his. I immediately feel shivers up my arms. Nick speaks again, his voice now hushed. “If you have a nightmare again, or if you need someone to talk to, give me a call, alright? Doesn’t matter how early or late it is. I want you to know I’ll always be there for you.” I feel tears rising in my eyes all over again.

“Nick...are you sure?”

“Positive.” He pulls me into a hug before I can even react. “Have a fun weekend.” He whispers, squeezing me so tightly that I swear my heart stops. In a good way, though. Nick and I pull apart, and as I gaze into his blue eyes, I realise that I don’t want to go. Even though I knew I had to support my sister, and I knew I did want to go....a stronger part of me just wanted to stay and hang out with Nick.

“Come on, Y/N!” Katie orders. “We need to go if we’re going to have any chance of setting up before the girls arrive!” Blushing slightly, I turn back to Nick.

“Bye Nick.” I smile. He wishes me goodbye, and I get into the car besides Katie. The two of us wave as we pull out of the driveway, Nick and Adam waving us goodbye as we go. As the house fades out of view, the feeling from before, the desire to stay, returns. I try and ignore it, but it’s intense. “What is wrong with me?!” I think to myself. Whatever it is, I better forget it soon, or I’ll be thinking about Nick for the whole night.

~~~

That Night

Pushing open the door to the karaoke bar, the six of us walk in.

“YAAAAAY! KARAOKE!” Katie calls, slightly tipsy already.

“I cannot believe you’ve talked me into this. I’m not even that drunk or a good singer!” I hiss. I know I’ve already sung in front of Nick, but this was different. I was comfortable with Nick, but there were people here. People who could hear me. People who I don’t know.

“Come on, Y/N! It’ll be fun! And don’t you worry, once you get some more shots in you, you’ll be right up on that stage.” Sam grins. Sam was another member of Katie’s bridal party. Altogether, there was me, Caroline, Sam, Sam’s wife Vanessa, and Katie’s college roommate Brooke. I was so thankful that Katie has such a small bridal party. It makes my life so much easier.

“And besides, you don’t have to be a good singer...to be honest, most people aren’t.” Brooke smiles.

“If you say so....” I mumble. The group of us sit in a booth and order some drinks to get started. I’m going to need a lot more of these to get through this karaoke. If they think I’ll be up on that stage, they have another thing coming.

~~~

Two Hours Later

“Cause tonight for the first time....just about half-past ten....for the first time, in HISTORY....it’s gonna start raining meeeeeen!” I sing into the microphone. The girls cheer from the table. “IT’S RAINING MEN!” Brooke and I both sing/shout into the microphone, our arms around each other.

“I mean we’re gay but yessss!!! Love that!” Vanessa and Sam shout. It turns out it only takes a few more wines to get me up on the stage. Who knew? Brooke and I continue the song and finish to thunderous applause, mostly from the rest of the girls.

“You’re right!! That was so fun!!!!” I grin, jumping up and down. “I’m sorry for doubting youuuuu.” I pull Brooke into a hug, which she returns. The two of us sit back down at the table. “Katie! Katie! Did you see me?!” I ask. “Wasn’t I good?! Can you believe....Nick had the cheek to say I wasn’t that bad. I’m a star in the making.”

“Who’s Nick?” Sam asks.

“Well. He’s Adam’s best man. And he is cute as hell.” I grin. Fumbling with my phone, I open instagram to Nick’s profile. “SEE?!” I exclaim, showing them my phone screen.

“Babeeee, your thumb’s in the way.” Katie tells me, trying to swat it out of the way. I move it, and soon a chorus of ‘awwws’ and ‘wows’ fills the air.

“You’re right, he’s gorgeous!” Brooke nods.

“Right? I wish he could see me now. I’m so hot.” The girls agree. “Wait. Katie...I have an idea.”

~~~

A Few Hours Later

Nick’s POV

Yawning, I put my phone on charge and place it on the nightstand. The boys and I had had a fun night together, but I was exhausted, so I decided to go to bed. As I close the curtains, I hear my phone start buzzing on the nightstand. I pick it up, and a bunch of text notifications from Katie pop up on the screen. Chuckling to myself, I open the texts. If I know anything about Katie, I know she’ll most likely be drunk by this point. A picture of Y/N flashes up on the screen, accompanied by a text saying:

“LOOK HOW GORGEOUSSSSS MY SISTER LOOKS!!!!!!! BET YOU MISS HER, HUH?!” and about a million emojis. I tap on the picture of Y/N, enlarging it. Katie obviously took it whilst she was getting ready, unbeknownst to Y/N. She’s smiling as she applies her makeup, and is looking over at one of the bridesmaids, probably laughing at a joke or something. I smile. She looks so...natural? I’ve been so used to seeing Y/N being fake happy to appease either myself or her sister, and seeing her naturally, with a big smile on her face, not knowing anybody’s watching or taking her photo...she looks beautiful. I mean, she always looks gorgeous, but this time...she looked even more gorgeous. Radiant even. I didn’t even know that was possible. And Katie was right. I do miss her. It was crazy, I’ve only known her for two weeks at this point, but she was quickly becoming someone I cared about, and someone I wanted to see after the wedding. I mean, we had almost kissed...which I initiated...and I’d be lying if I said I hadn’t wished that we had kissed. I don’t think I’ll be forgetting her that quickly.

I scroll down, and notice a video, which Katie has helpfully captioned with “4 u ;)” I hit play. Y/N Is standing by a karaoke machine, wearing a black sequined jumpsuit, a pink maid of honour sash, and a tiara. She looks great.

“This is for youuuu Nick!” She calls, sounding pretty drunk, pointing directly into the camera. The music starts playing, and I start laughing as soon as I recognise it. It’s Dancing Queen by ABBA. Of course. Y/N immediately starts singing and dancing around the stage. She told me earlier on she couldn’t sing, but she was actually pretty good. I find myself softly singing along as she sings. Soon, the song ends, and she takes a bow to thunderous applause from the bar. She comes running up to Katie’s phone. “Were you filmin?” She asks, before looking right into the camera. “NICK! I hope you enjoyed that, even though you have NO TASTE!!! See you on Sunday!” She blows a kiss to the camera, making me smile. “...Oooh is that more champagne?” She asks, immediately walking away, making me laugh. I type out a text to Katie:

“You’re right. She does look gorgeous. Tell her I enjoyed the song. Enjoy the rest of your night girls x” I put my phone back on the nightstand and get into bed. Sighing, I look up at the ceiling. What is it with me? Y/N has been occupying my thoughts ever since she and Katie left, and I have no idea why. “You know why, you idiot.” Part of me tells myself. “It’s because you like her.” No, that can’t be it...can it? I mean, I had almost kissed her. Oh shit. Maybe I did like her. I prop myself up on my elbow and pick up my phone again. I start scrolling through my photos from the past two weeks. Y/N’s in almost every one. I feel butterflies within as I see her face smiling back at me. Oh god. I think I do like her. But there’s no way she feels the same.

~~~

The Next Morning

Y/N’s POV

Groaning, I sit up in bed. My head is starting to pound. Getting out of bed, worming my way around the pairs of heels and accessories left on the floor, I walk into the bathroom, gasping when I see myself in the mirror. My mascara is running, my eyeshadow is smudged, and there is glitter all over my face. Sighing, I get undressed and hop in the shower, letting everything wash away with all the soapy water. Once I’m out, I hear Katie’s voice from the other side of the door, and she frantically knocks.

“Y/N! Y/N! Are you in there?!” She asks. I open the door and see her shocked face on the other side.

“What? Do you need to puke?” I ask, standing aside.

“NO! LOOK!” She thrusts her phone at me. I take it and look down at it. It’s displaying her texts to Nick.

“You sent him the video of me singing karaoke?!” I exclaim. Katie frowns.

“You told me to? And no! I don’t mean that!!” She snatches her phone back and scrolls down. “Look what Nick sent!” She orders. Taking the phone back, I read the message.

“You’re right. She does look gorgeous.” I immediately block out the rest of the message. Those words replay in my mind. Nick....thinks I look gorgeous? Katie is staring at me, clearly waiting on my response...but I can’t think of anything to say. My mind and my heart feel like they’re racing at 100 miles per hour. I mean, it’s not like he outright admitted he was in love with me or anything...but in a way...he kind of did? Holy shit. I don’t even know how I feel about him. I mean, we have almost kissed already, but that doesn’t mean anything, does it? Who am I kidding, of course it means something. It means that I must like him too, or I wouldn’t have almost kissed him. My mind immediately flashes back to the times people thought Nick and I were boyfriend and girlfriend, or telling us we would make a cute couple, how I didn’t want to leave Nick for this weekend...and realisation dawns on me. The reason why I liked being told that, and why I enjoyed being with Nick...is because I wanted it. Do I...like Nick? As in...like, like? ...I think I might?

“Y/N...are you okay?” Katie asks. “You’re kinda spaced out.”

“Yeah, I’m wonderful.” I lie. I feel like my world has been turned upside down, or like the rug has been pulled out from under me, and I might collapse at any moment. Katie raises an eyebrow.

“Y/N...you promised me that if something’s going on, you’d tell me what it was. I can tell something’s up, and I want to know what. Please? You’re my sister. I want to know if something’s bothering you.” She reminds me, and I sigh.

“Fine. We’ll go for some coffee before brunch, and I’ll tell you. Now, will you PLEASE let me get dressed in peace?!”

~~~

Later

I take a sip of my coffee, letting it soothe me and my slowly developing hangover. Katie sits across from me, looking expectantly as she waits on me admitting what’s been going on with me...that I think I have a crush on Nick. Sighing, I meet her gaze...and start telling her everything. How close we’ve grown, how everyone we’ve met thinks we’d be cute together, our almost kiss, how excited I was to see him again, and...how I think I’m falling for him. When I’ve stopped, Katie stares at me silently for what feels like an eternity. I knew she’d need some time to process this...but not this long. “Uh...Katie?” I start, and she immediately cuts me off.

“I KNEW IT!” She gasps, letting out a squeal that makes some of the people in the coffee shop stare. I flush pink, but she doesn’t even notice. “God Y/N, I thought it was going to be something worse than this.” She admits. She sees my pink face and continues. “Y/N. A few days ago, I told you that I’ve seen how happy he makes you, and how it’s like when Adam and I first met. It’s SO OBVIOUS that you like him. Actually...” She giggles, stopping only to take a drink of her coffee. “I didn’t tell you, but last night you were talking about him all the time. Like for the whole night. I think the rest of the girls were too drunk to notice, but I wasn’t. Every five minutes, it was ‘do you think Nick would like this?’ ‘Nick said this...’ ‘Nick said that...’ ‘He’s so cute!’ ‘I want Nick to know how cute I look tonight!’ And now, he does! All thanks to me.” She grins triumphantly. “But seriously Y/N. It’s so obvious. To be honest, I knew that you probably liked him from that first meal in the diner, when you kicked me in the shin.”

“Sorry about that by the way.”

“No, no, don’t be silly! It’s fine. You did that every time I almost spilled your crushes to Grandma. I know you too well. BUT, I did NOT know about this almost kiss though!!!” She squeals again, thankfully quieter this time. “My sister’s getting with the best man!” I quickly shush her.

“No! Nick cannot know. At least, not yet.” She frowns at me. “For one, I have no idea if he even likes me in that way, and second, I am not doing anything to jeopardise your wedding.” Katie scoffs.

“Who cares about my wedding?! My big sister’s finally found the one!”

“Okay, that’s a bit much, I don’t even know if-”

“Oh, please. I have a feeling that he likes you too, and that you two will be happy for many years to come.” She taps the side of her head as if she’s made a breakthrough, before going back to her coffee. “So...when are you gonna tell him?”

“Katie, did you not hear what I just said? I’m not going to. At least not yet. I do want to know if he likes me back, but I don’t want to take away from your wedding.” She reaches over and takes my hand.

“Y/N. As your little sister and the bride, you have my blessing to declare your feelings to Nick before my wedding. Seriously. It’s okay. I just want you to be happy.” I smile.

“Thanks sis.” I sigh. She gets down off her seat and hugs me.

“I love you.” She whispers.

“I love you too.”

“...Oh by the way, when I said ‘who cares about my wedding?’ Yeah, well I still care about it. Even though you have my blessing, please don’t let anything go wrong.” I chuckle.

“I won’t. I promise.”

~~~

The Next Day: Sunday - 5 Days til the Wedding

Nick’s POV

Adam’s practically bouncing on his heels as the two of us wait on Katie and Y/N coming back from the bachelorette party. It was cute, though. I had seen his relationship with Katie grow over the years, and was honoured they asked me to be part of their special day. It was so clear how much they loved each other.

“Dude, calm down.” I smile. “They’ll be here soon.”

“Sorry.” He blushes. “I’ve just been missing Katie, and it’s so close to the wedding now, I’m just...I’m excited to be her husband! I’ll try and calm down.” I smile.

“It’s okay. I just don’t want Katie to come home and find out her fiancé got so excited I had to scrape his body off of the ceiling.” Adam and I laugh.

“So...how about you and Y/N, huh? You excited to see her again?” I nod. Of course I was. “And then you two can finally have that talk.” I frown, looking at him. Did he...did he know? “Oh please, Nick. I’ve seen the way you talk about her. You don’t make it very subtle. You like her, don’t you?” He raises his eyebrows suggestively.

“Well, yeah, but-”

“Not as a friend, as in...that way.”

“How did you know?” I ask, not even trying to deny it. He chuckles.

“It’s pretty obvious dude. Both Katie and I have noticed.” Before I can even say anything, he holds his hands up, stopping me. “Don’t worry. Katie and I don’t mind if you and Y/N get together. We just want you both to be happy.” I stand there in silence for a while, not knowing what to say. I mean, he was right, of course...and he gave me his blessing to be with Y/N if it came to that, so what was the issue? Well, of course, she might not like me back...but it was worth a try. “Are you going to talk to her?” Adam asks, looking at me expectantly.

“...I guess?” I say before even thinking about it. Adam grins and pulls me into a hug.

“Good luck.” He smiles. Yeah, what could possibly go wrong? Oh right, everything. Soon after, we hear a car pulling up to the house, and we open the door to see the girls getting out and unloading their suitcases and bags. My stomach twists into knots. Katie and Adam spot each other and immediately run into each other’s arms. Walking past them, Y/N walks into the house, standing in the doorway.

“Hey, Nick.” She smiles softly. The sun behind her illuminates her hair, backlighting her in a golden glow. God, she’s gorgeous.

“Uh...Hi!” I gasp, quickly realising I hadn’t replied to her. The two of us stand awkwardly silent for a few moments.

“WELL uh, I think I’m going to take these upstairs.” Y/N suddenly announces, making her way towards the stairs.

“Need a hand?”

“No! I mean uh...no, I’ll be fine. Thanks Nick.” She walks upstairs, leaving me frowning in the hallway. Why is she being so weird? You don’t think she...oh no. Does she know? Does she know that I think I like her? Does she not feel the same? Oh god, she doesn’t. That’s why she’s so awkward around me. Well, more so than usual. Katie walks into the house and gives me a hug. She winks at me as she also heads upstairs, confusing me even more. What is going on with those two? Sighing, I decide to make us all some tea. As I sit in the living room, drinking my cup, Y/N comes and sits beside me on the couch. “Oh! Thanks, Nick.” She smiles, taking a cup of tea. “So...did you have a nice weekend without us?” She asks. No. I missed you too much. I want to say, but instead, I say:

“Yeah! It was good. We just played some video games.” I immediately curse myself for saying I had a good weekend without her. Now she’ll think I hate her. However, Y/N smiles at that.

“That’s good. Katie told me you saw my karaoke video. Did you like it?”

“Yeah, I did. You know, you told me you couldn’t sing, but you’re good.” She laughs.

“I don’t think so, but thanks Nick.” She smiles. She glances up as Katie and Adam walk into the room. “I need to talk to you later.” She whispers, before greeting them both. My stomach starts twisting again. Oh god, she’s going to tell me that she doesn’t feel the same, isn’t she? Dammit. Why do I always fall too hard for a girl then end up disappointed? Katie and Adam continue talking to us both, too caught up in the excitement of seeing each other again even to notice how silent Y/N and I are. The atmosphere is shattered by the sound of a car pulling up outside. The four of us look at each other, clearly confused. Nobody else is meant to be staying here now, just us four...so who’s that?

“Did one of your groomsmen forget something?” Y/N asks. Adam and I shake our heads. “And it’s not one of us, because they’re staying in the local hotel, right, Katie?” Katie huffs.

“It better not be one of them, because I TOLD THEM this house didn’t have enough room for anyone other than us.” A knock sounds at the door. Huffing again, Katie gets up. “Let me handle this.” She sighs. “If it’s our flower vendors, I swear to god, I told them to deliver stuff to the VENUE, NOT HERE.” We hear her voice disappearing down the hallway, and the three of us go back to our tea, expecting Katie to reappear moments later with a quick explanation. Sure enough, we soon hear: “What are YOU doing here?!” Y/N places her cup down and gets up.

“I’ll help her deal with this. Don’t want any issues, like last time.” She gives me a knowing look, and I chuckle lightly. Adam and I go back to scrolling through our phones and drinking tea, until the sound of “Oh, my GOD!” cuts through the air. Frowning, Adam and I look at each other. That was Y/N’s voice. The two of us get up and walk towards the front door. A man stands in the doorway, looking at Y/N and Katie. He hasn’t noticed us yet. Y/N is holding Katie’s hand, clearly squeezing it for dear life, but neither of them says anything. Either to us, the man or each other. Their faces are pale. The man looks over at Adam and I.

“Ah! Hello there! Now, which of you is the groom?” He asks.

“Um, I am?” Adam frowns. The man smiles.

“I see! Wonderful to meet you!”

“I’m sorry, sir, but who are you? Can we help you?” I ask. The man chuckles.

“Of course! Where are my manners?!” He asks. “I’m Robert Miller.” He gestures over at the girls, still ghostly pale. “And these two lovely ladies...are my daughters.”

#nick x reader #the broken hearts gallery #dacre montgomery #dacre montgomery x reader #dacre montgomery fanfic #dacre x reader #dacre montgomery fic #nick fanfiction #nick fanfic #nick x y/n #coming back home fic #coming back home #fanfiction #fanfic

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alipeeps · 3 years

Text

New tag game: Post pictures of your first ever (fictional/celeb) crush to the latest one and tag five others to continue the game

Thanks to @minmoyu for tagging me and ooof, are you sure you’re ready for this?!! :D I have been around/in fandom for a loooooong time and at first I thought, okay, no way I can list all my crushes, there have been SO many and we’ll be here all day but then as I started compiling a list I found I was having fun reminiscing and decided, what the heck, yeah, let’s do em all... or at least all I can remember! :D

There have absolutely for sure been other more minor crushes and passing fancies along the way, but these are the big ones that I remember (and that, in more recent years, I can track by going through my posted fanfics on AO3 and even *shudder* FFNET and seeing which shows I was into enough to want to write fic about the characters).

[Quick note: with rare exceptions, for actors I am listing them by the character they played rather than just the actor. Whilst there are actors that I like in multiple roles (and conversely, characters who on paper I would normally be into but are played by actors who do nothing for me, and hence the character generally does nothing for me either), for the most part it is the character I really have the crush on.]

I’m going to put this under a readmore cos it has gotten ridiculously long:

So... without further ado:

1. MORTEN HARKET from a-ha - OKay so, dating myself badly here but... I had the *biggest* crush on Morten Harket when I was a teenager. Pretty much the entirety of my side of the bedroom I shared with my sister was covered in posters of a-ha, and Morten in particular. I even had a heart-shaped Morten Harket pillow! :D I loved a-ha’s music (still do!) and I wanted to go see them in concert when I was 14 but my parents wouldn’t let me (*sob*). I did finally get to see them in concert in the early 2000s and they were BRILLIANT live (and Morten was still very very pretty)!

2. RICHARD DEAN ANDERSON as MACGYVER - MacGyver is the first tv character I remember being really into and having a crush on, to the extent that I would record episodes of the show off the tv (onto VHS tape - yes, I am *that* old!) so that I could rewatch them (especially the ones where he got hurt - yeah, I was a whumper even then! :D)

3. KEIFER SUTHERLAND - One of my rare exceptions. I think I first saw him in Lost Boys (and loved him in that film) but it was his role as Doc Scurlock in Young Guns that really made me fall for both the character and him. I definitely remember seeking out any and all films he was in and buying any magazine he was interviewed in (and knowing far more facts about him than was probably healthy! :D) and even drawing a fanart portrait of him. :)

4. KYLE MACLACHLAN as SPECIAL AGENT DALE COOPER - I remember hearing about Twin Peaks before it started airing in the UK and it sounded so different and interesting... I watched it from the very first episode and very quickly developed a crush on Coop.

5. BRENT SPINER as DATA - I think ST: TNG had been airing for a while before I stumbled across it but I quickly became hooked and Data was my favourite character right from the start. I definitely remember at one point buying an (unofficial) episode guide book so that I could look up which episodes were good Data-focused ones (especially ones where he got hurt! :D) so I could go out and buy the videos that had those episodes on (at the time the show was available to buy on VHS-tape with 2 episodes on each tape).

6. DAVID DUCHOVNY as FOX MULDER - Another show that I heard the buzz about and started watching right from the start and, like so many others, I immediately developed a crush on the snarky, enigmatic, troubled FBI agent with the weird name. The X-Files was the first show I ever tried writing (one, never-finished) fanfic for.

7. PAUL GROSS as BENTON FRASER - Man, Due South was such a good show! It was so quirky and clever and funny and Benton Fraser, with his huge heart and his serious demeanour and his gorgeous blue eyes, was just so darn attractive! He also got whumped a fair bit too! :D Due South was also the show that introduced me to the music of Sarah McLachlan (I was enough of a fan that I bought the show soundtrack on CD).

8. HUGH LAURIE as DR GREGORY HOUSE - This was a bit of an odd one for me because I had grown up knowing Hugh Laurie solely as a comedian/comic actor, known mostly for playing buffoons and genial idiots. And suddenly here he was with stubble, an American accent, and a limp, and he was hawt AF! :D It caused quite the feedback loop in my brain for a while which pretty much went “Wow, House is hot.... but it’s Hugh Laurie... but he’s hot... but it’s HUGH LAURIE!!1!”

I *loved* House (the first few seasons, at least) and oof a character with persistent pain (and a self-destructive streak a mile wide!) was a whumper’s dream. House was the first show for which I wrote - and published online - completed fanfics.

8. JOE FLANIGAN as JOHN SHEPPARD - Stargate Atlantis was my first proper online fandom, the first show I prolifically and repeatedly wrote fanfic for, and the first time I ever met in person an actor I was a big fan of (and while the show was still airing, to boot!). It was also my first introduction to the online community of whumpers! A bunch of us from the Shep Whump thread on Gateworld heard that Joe was going to be at a convention in London and we decided to book hotel rooms and meet up and go to the convention together and it was AWESOME! I can still remember seeing Joe *in person* for the first time and just,,,, struggling to believe he was actually here, in person, in front of me! He was super super lovely and humble too and took time to chat to everyone at the signing table and I clearly remember my brain just pretty much fritzing out during the photo session and being intensely aware of the sensation of Joe’s hand on my shoulder....

It was also super lovely to meet fellow fans, and online friends, in person for the first time and we had so much fun, and it kickstarted me going to lots of other conventions, including specific Stargate/SGA ones where I got to know lots of other lovely fans and online friends. I’ve met Joe about 4 or 5 times in total now and he’s been lovely every time.

9. PAUL BLACKTHORNE as HARRY DRESDEN - Gosh I loved the shortlived tv adaptation of The Dresden Files. I loved the fantasy aspect, the stories, the humour, and I especially loved Harry Dresden and how often he got whumped! :D

10. DAVID TENNANT as THE 10TH DOCTOR - I had watched the Christopher Ecclestone revival of Doctor Who and enjoyed it well enough but I can clearly remember watching David Tennant’s first episode as The Doctor - on Christmas Day, at my brother-in-law’s house - and being aware, as I watched it that... ooookay, yes, I’m in trouble here... I like him... I like him a lot... :D I mean, I’m sure the fact that he got whumped so thoroughly in his very first episode had nothing to do with how quickly I fell for him... right? :)

11. ALEX O’LAUGHLIN as MICK ST JOHN - Another show that ended far too soon and just as it was getting *seriously* good. But also a prime example of my point about having a crush on the character not the actor. I looooooved Alex as Mick St John... and yet in Hawaii 5.0 he pretty much does nothing for me (the character is too stoic and the whump often too unrealistically glossed over). Anyway, in Moonlight he was my favourite kind of character - angsty, brooding, dangerous AF when he needed to be... and essentially immortal so you could whump the heck out of him and he’d recover so you could whump him again! :D

12. SIMON BAKER as PATRICK JANE - There is so much to love about Patrick Jane... his smarts, his sass, his angst... and Simon is a rare “against type” blonde crush for me (you may have noticed by now that most of my crushes follow a similar physical aesthetic - tall, slim/wiry, and dark-haired) and again here I think my crush is almost all to do with the character rather than the actor.

12. BENEDICT CUMBERBATCH as SHERLOCK HOLMES - I’m almost ashamed to admit it, given the clusterfuck that both the show and its fandom became, but in the earlier seasons I had quite the crush on Benedict’s Sherlock (and okay, a little bit on Benedict himself - I did definitely enjoy some of his other roles too). It helps that I was already a huge fan of the Sherlock Holmes character (I’ve read all the stories and novels multiple times and was a big fan of the Granada adaptation starring Jeremy Brett - whose Holmes would definitely count as one of my more minor/passing crushes) already. Benedict is another crush that I have met in person, at a (actually, the first!) Sherlock convention and he was lovely in person - very genuine, very articulate and thoughtful.

13. TOM MISON as ICHABOD CRANE - I was excited for Sleepy Hollow as soon as I heard about it and I was SUCH a fan for the first couple of seasons (before TPTB completely destroyed it and it inevitably got cancelled (I didn’t even watch the last season and a half)) and Tom’s Ichabod (and his amazing chemistry with Nicole’s Abbie) was a large part of why. I also quickly became a big fan of Tom himself as he came across as so witty and self-deprecating and *fun* in all the behind the scenes/convention clips etc. I was lucky enough to also meet Tom at a convention and he genuinely is that witty and charming and lovely.

14. TOM WISDOM as ARCHANGEL MICHAEL - I think Dominion was possibly the first show that I got sucked into by seeing whumpy gifsets on tumblr! :D It was such a great show and also to date the most immersive, welcoming, cast-and-crew-interactive fandom I have ever been in. The cast and crew regularly live-tweeted the episodes, and interacted with fans on Twitter, and it was SO much fun. And Tom’s Michael was my favourite character right from the start - seemingly aloof but so much going on under the surface... and some really nice whump, especially in season 2! I was heartbroken when it was cancelled after only 2 seasons (and just as the plot was getting *really* interesting).

15. OLIVER JACKSON-COHEN as LUCAS - I was hooked on Emerald City right from the first episode. It was visually stunning, so atmospheric, and really intruiging. I love love loved Adria Arjona’s Dorothy (ngl, I had a bit of a crush on her too) and she and Lucas together were just... *chef’s kiss*. I mean... what an introduction to a character... she finds him crucified, bleeding, his wrists tied with barbed wire, and amnesiac.... and the whump only gets better and better from there on in! Like the entire first two episodes are just... Lucas whump! :D And his devotion to her... Emerald City was honestly the first show where I really got into a ship. I was *invested* in Dorcas, dammit! Aaaand sadly another excellent show that never made it past its first season.

16. JASON RALPH as QUENTIN COLDWATER - Another show that I watched right from the start, was heavily invested in.... and that the writers absolutely tanked and destroyed in later seasons. *cries* Quentin was such a brilliant viewpoint character for the show and I loved his awkwardness, and his angst, and his enthusiasm, and his adorable floppy hair... and how often he got whumped!

17. COLIN MORGAN - I fell for Colin in Merlin (which I stumbled upon late, long after it had finished airing, and hence was able to binge-watch the entire 5 seasons!) and liked him enough to seek out his other works, such as The Fall, and Humans, and The Living and the Dead, and he was brilliant (and very pretty) in all of them... and his characters also seem to get whumped quite a lot! :D

18. MATT LANTER as WYATT LOGAN - Wyatt was another of my favourite archetypes... absolutely badass and competent... but also tortured and angsty and capable of intense devotion. Another show that I watched because of whumpy gifs on tumblr and the second ever show where I actually got invested in a ship - Lyatt all the way, baby!! :D - aaaaaand yet another show cancelled before its time.

19. NOCTIS LUCIS CAELUM from FINAL FANTASY XV - my very first video game crush! I was recommended to play FFXV by fellow whumpers on the whumpshire discord because it was whumpy... and they were not wrong and I loved the game and I absolutely adored Noctis. FFXV is one of very very VERY few video games that I have actually played right through to the end. And possibly the only video game that has ever affected me to such an extent... I became so invested in the characters and their world and I actually found the last couple of chapters really hard to play because it was actually upsetting me emotionally. I had to take a break for a couple of weeks before I could go back and finish it!

20. CONNOR from DETROIT BECOME HUMAN - and from there I jumped straight into another video game crush! DBH was another game recommended to me for its whump potential and I, and many others, immediately fell in love with the quirky, sassy, self-sacrificing (if you play the game right!) “android sent by Cyberlife”. The game itself is really good too... although, I have tried to play through all the different endings to the story but have never yet managed to make myself play the machine Connor storyline.... I want to complete all the story branches... but I also just want Hank and Connor to be friends and to be happy! :D

21. ZHU YILONG - Ahhh... the beginning of the asian drama arc of my fandom life! I first came across Zhu Yilong after getting sucked into watching Guardian because of pretty (and whumpy) gifs on tumblr... and I’ve never looked back. He is one of the rare entries where I am pretty much guaranteed to like him in pretty much anything he does and my crush extends beyond Shen Wei, or his other characters, and into reblogging his fashion shoot photos, and keeping up with news of his work in general. He’s just... so darn pretty! And also so... blur! :D And the behind the scenes stuff and interviews of him with Bai Yu, during the Guardian era, just made me fall for him all the more. He’s also ridiculously talented - not only a fantastic actor, but a really good singer (I love his singing voice), he plays guitar and piano, and he can paint too!!

He’s also pretty much what made me start learning Chinese... because after Guardian I went seeking his other dramas to watch... only to find that many of them are only partially, or not at all, subbed. So I thought... why not try learning Chinese and then I’ll be able to watch his other shows? :D

21. JI CHANG WOOK - My first kdrama crush, and what a good one to start with! Healer was the first drama I ever watched and can you blame me for falling for JCW... especially when I followed up Healer with The K2?! I’ve liked him in pretty much everything I’ve watched him in. Although I do wish he would go back to doing more action-based shows as he is sooo good at them... but he seems to prefer the romcom genre these days, which is something I am nottt always a fan of tbh.

22. JAKE HSU as MENG SHAO FEI - Yet another show that I got sucked into by tumblr - and also one with a great, fun fandom through which I met lots of lovely people who I still follow/am mutuals with to this day. I just *adored* Jake’s character in History and I also loved the ship - Tang Fan and Meng Shaofei were awesome and adorable together and I was totally invested in both the ship and the gangster/cop/what happened years ago story happening alongside the ship. And Jake is just all kinds of cute.

23. XIAO ZHAN - Aaaand we are pretty much up to current day now... where The Untamed took over my life in the summer of 2019 and has yet to let me go. Xiao Zhan is another disgustingly talented human being - a fantastic singer and a really good actor, and also an artist - and he also just comes across as a genuinely sweet and charming person, and a very thoughful and earnest one too. And lbr he is ridiculously pretty, and his smile is just pure sunshine.

24. LEE DONG WOOK as LEE YEON - The most recent entry to the charts.... a Korean actor I was aware of but whose work I hadn’t watched and whose looks didn’t particularly seem to grab me... until I watched Tale of the Nine Tailed and fell head over heels for Lee Yeon (and daaayum does red hair suit LDW!!) and very quickly began to find LDW’s looks very appealing (and oh my, does Lee Yeon whump well!!). And yes, I have now started watching Goblin. :D

Phew! Aaaand we are done! I’ll admit, I did think of a few more as I was compiling this list but I decided to categorise them as more “minor” crushes and not include them... otherwise we really could be here all day!!

I’m going to tag: @sarah-yyy, @arlothia, @howdydowdy, @thepromiseweheldforlife and @the-wandering-whumper!

#meme #fandom #crushes

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stateofloveandnegan · 4 years

Text

Hey Ed - Eddie Vedder

Hi, dear! First of all - Merry Christmas! I saw that you liked my song about Ed and I couldn’t but notice you’re a fic account, aha. Reading fics is literally my only escape from life these days. If you could, if it’s not too much to ask, could you maybe make a fic scenario out of that song with like a mix of Solider of Love. Like the girl is friends with Eddie and the band, they both have really good playful flirty chemistry/really like each other, but she’s really hesitant to accept her feelings for him let alone admit it because she’s insecure/doesn’t think she’s good enough and closed off due to her hurtful past. So finally after days of denial and failing to move on, he walks in on her singing that song by herself in a room. And y’know the fluffy or smutty rest, aha. I just thought it would be cute, aha. Totally understand if you’re busy though, it is the holidays after all.

So, what do I say..? I got this request about a year ago, it wasn’t last Christmas, it was Christmas 2018. I’ve literally taken forever and I feel really bad for it, but it’s been a weird (not all bad) year and most of the time I simply didn’t know what to write down, I had no inspiration. Since we’re all practically in quarantine, I thought it’d be a good time to try and get back to writing. I had part of the story written before, but today I deleted it all and started over.

Lili, I've said it before, but I apologise for it taking so long. You have no idea how much I appreciate your patience. I deeply hope you enjoy it!

Requested by: @sweetness-doesnt-touch-my-face

Warning(s): tiny bit of angst

“Hey, Lili! Come here,” Eddie smiles at me and opens his arms as he gets up from his seat in the booth. I smile and my heart flutters at how cute he is. I walk up to him and wrap my arms around him as he kisses my cheek. “S’good to see you.”

“It’s good to see you as well, how are you? I haven’t seen you in quite a while.” I smile at him and he mirrors my expression. “I’ve been great, just busy with the band and all that stuff. Why don’t we go out for dinner tonight? We can catch up and talk all we want.”

The idea of having dinner with Eddie alone makes my heart flutter, but I quickly push that feeling away and smirk, bringing the usual flirty demeanor between us back. “Dinner, hm? Just you and me? One would almost say you’re up to something, Vedder.”

I almost notice a slight blush on Eddie’s cheeks, but he’s quick to roll his eyes with a smirk and shake his head fondly.

Soon, we join the others at the table, I greet everyone and take a seat across from Eddie. Throughout the night, Eddie and I keep sneaking glances at each other, and we keep catching one another. For a long time, I can keep up my flirty demeanor, the smirk on my face barely fading. But, after a while, I notice the feelings I have for him blossoming up and as soon as I feel them, I push them away. I get up from my seat and excuse myself to the bathroom. ‘Stop it, they’re not real.’I mumble to myself as I look into the mirror after splashing a tiny bit of water on my face.

After a couple of minutes, the door to the ladies’ restroom opens and Katie, Mike’s girlfriend, walks in with a sympathetic smile on her face. “Are you still trying to fight your feelings?”

I know she never means harm, but she knows how hard this is for me, she knows it’s stupid to joke about these things, and she does it anyway. “Piss off, Katie.”

She sighs, “C’mon Lili, you shouldn’t be so hard on yourself. You’ve got feelings for him, so what? He seems to feel the same, you know? He wouldn’t be so damn flirty with you if he doesn’t like you.”

I shake my head, “He doesn’t, and he never will. Do you know me, Katie? A guy like him could never like a girl like me. I’m not even close to what he deserves.”

Before she can say anything, I leave the restroom, quickly come up with an excuse as I gather my things and leave my friends to go to my dad’s little garage studio. I’ve had my own place for a good couple of years now, but I always find my way back to my parents’ house when I want to hide away from stuff; like my feelings.

When I get there, there’s no one home. My parents said they would go away for the weekend, so I’m not surprised to find the house abandoned. Right now, I’m happy they’re not here, especially my dad. He’s always been able to read me like an open book, so he’d immediately notice something’s wrong.

I make myself a cup of tea and a small bowl of chips and retreat to the garage. I’ve been working on some stuff for a while now, but I can’t seem to get the words right. Also because I’m not even sure what I want it to be about, which probably isn’t helping the situation.

Nonetheless, I get my notebook out of my bag and sit down beside it with my dad’s guitar in my lap. I gently begin to play some chords, getting into a rhythm as I slowly hum a melody. I keep doing this for a while before some words suddenly come to me, and without hesitation, I begin to write them down in the notebook.

It’s like I’m trying to sleep in somebody else’s bed

But I can’t lie in this comfort and pretend.

He murmurs my sad thoughts, he screams my shit,

But my heart don’t mirror his perfect wit.

As soon as I realize what the next words are going to be, I curse myself and slam my notebook shut, why does he always need to be on my mind?

I stay at my parents’ house for a little while longer, but when I notice the clock hitting 12:30am, I gather my things and make my way home. My mind is like a whirlwind, all the thoughts and feelings I’ve been suppressing for the last few months coming together all at once. Yet still, I don’t listen to any of them. I know how I feel, but I’m not going to give into them, because I know how it’s going to be..

If I accept the fact that I have strong feelings for Eddie, and if I were to tell him that, he’d just laugh it off. I’d be hurt and I’d feel even more like garbage than I already am.

Guys don’t like me, not genuinely. All they like me for is a little bit of fun and when they’ve had their fun, they throw me out. I’ve been there, done that… It was like that with Kenny. We’d known each other for a long time and at one point I realized I’d fallen for him. I told him how I felt, and he told me he felt the same. We started dating, but he never wanted to do stuff in public. And if he was feeling down, he would always cancel plans because he would not be in the ‘mood’ anyways. I was too naïve to realize what he actually meant with that.

It wasn’t until one day, when we went out for lunch. I was so happy we actually went out for once, but I noticed Kenny wasn’t too happy about it. And it wasn’t until the moment his friends ‘caught’ him with me. They came up to us, throwing comments and laughing at Kenny for spending time with ‘someone like me’. Kenny didn’t even hesitate when he stood up, and his words are craved in my mind for the rest of my life. “Do you really think I’d take her seriously? C’mon guys, she’s just a good fuck and was desperate for lunch. But now that I’m here I realize she isn’t even worth having lunch with. Let’s get out of here.”

Truth is, Kenny wasn’t the first one to betray and hurt me like that, before Kenny it was Patrick. Guys don’t like me… I’m not worth it for anyone. So why on earth would Eddie think any different?

Some days go by and I keep getting the urge to write down the words that play in my head,

Hey Ed, I heard what you said

But my tears are still bled,

Hey Ed, you’re on of my daily meds,

But your solution is so far ahead.

“I don’t know how to handle it anymore, Katie.” I say in tears as she wraps her arms around me. Earlier, she called me to hang out and I thought it’d be nice, to maybe get my attention away from all the things in my mind, but as soon as I saw Katie, I couldn’t hold back all my emotions anymore.

Katie’s known me for years, she knows what I’ve been through and how I feel about everything connected to love. She knows how I feel about Eddie, she knew it long before I did. “Accepting your feelings could be a good first, Lili. Don’t torture yourself like this any longer.”

It takes me a whole lot of effort and energy, but after a couple of minutes, I quietly speak up. “I’ve got these words in my head, they could very perfectly become a song, but I couldn’t… I didn’t want to write them all down, because I didn’t want to give in.”

Katie sighs softly and leans back a little so she can look at me, “Give into them, Liliana. It’s gonna kill you if you don’t. give in and write that song, you’re going to feel so much better, I promise.”

I nod slowly and wipe my tears. Katie smiles softly and gives me one last hug, making sure I’m going to be alright, and leaves.

Before I get to writing down the words, I go to the bathroom to freshen up a bit. Fortunately, my face didn’t get too red, so I just splash some water on my face and apply a bit of mascara. When I’m happy with how I look, which is when it’s not noticeable that I’ve cried, I go back to my room, grab my guitar and sit down on my bed with a pencil and the notebook beside me.

I close my eyes for a moment, let out a deep sigh, and let all the thoughts and feelings come out. The pencil slides over the paper, the words coming so fast, my hand can barely keep up with my mind. After what feels like less than a minute, the lyrics are written down on the paper. I grab my guitar and start playing a slow melody that fits the mood perfectly. When I’ve found the perfect rhythm, I softly begin to sing the words, getting lost in my own world as I close my eyes.

It’s like I’m trying to sleep in somebody else’s bed

But I can’t lie in this comfort and pretend.

He murmurs my sad thoughts, he screams my shit,

But my heart don’t mirror his perfect wit.

Hey Ed, I heard what you said

But my tears are still bled,

Hey Ed, you’re on of my daily meds,

But your solution is so far ahead.

Who knew a voice could make you soar,

Even when you’re feeling most unsure,

Sometimes I feel like your soul is the cure,

But how much can one body endure?

Hey Ed, I heard what you said

I know you want the powerless fed,

Hey Ed, I know what you said

But I still feel so unread.

You’re one of us, just on the stage.

Sometimes that feels far away.

That’s just the way of the pay.

You still make our days less grey.

Hey Ed, I heard what you said,

You’re the reason my worries fled.

Hey Ed, I heard what you said,

I’d just wish you’d get out of my head.

When I’m done, I slowly open my eyes, finding myself back. When my eyes land on him, my heart sinks and I feel the need to vanish, but his words tell me otherwise, and when I look closely, I notice his eyes aren’t like they usually are; they’re filled with tears.

“E-Eddie?” I quietly speak up. He doesn’t say anything, though. He just walks closer to me, gently takes the guitar from me and puts it down before bringing his rough hands up to my cheeks. And then it happens… he leans forwards and plants his soft lips onto mine, kissing me softly, yet with so much passion and only now I realize how much of a fool I’ve been. He does feel the same…

The kiss lasts forever, but when he pulls back it also feels like it only lasted a second. Eddie rests his forehead against mine as we both catch our breath for a moment. When I open my eyes, Eddie’s already looking at me. “Why didn’t you tell me, Lili?” his low and husky, because of the tears, voice gently asks me.

I sigh softly and shrug a little, “You’re amazing, Eddie. You literally deserve the world and more… how did you expect me to think I’d be good enough for you?”

Eddie shakes his head and rubs his thumb softly over my cheek, “You are worth so much more than you think, Liliana. You are the sweetest, most amazing, most loving… most beautiful woman I’ve ever met. Don’t ever speak so lowly of yourself again, please.”

I’m unable to find the right words to say to him, so I just wrap my arms around him and hold him close, as Eddie does the same.

“How did you even get in?” I manage to get out, a small smile entering my face. Eddie chuckles and pulls back so he can look at me, “Katie texted me earlier, saying you could use a friend. I got here as soon as I got and the door was unlocked, so I let myself. Then I heard you sing, and I couldn’t help my curiousness…” a sheepish smile enters his face as his cheeks light up a little.

“I never thought I’d say this, but I’m thankful Katie did that…” I admit, unable to get my eyes off Eddie’s. Eddie smiles and nods, “Me, too.”

Eddie comes closer again and presses another kiss onto my lips, “If you’ll allow me, I’d like to take you somewhere for dinner.”

“I’d love nothing more, Eddie.”

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unfolded73 · 4 years

Text

Husbands: Two Years In (5/5) - schitt’s creek ff

Here it is, the final chapter! There's nothing I can say that can get across how touched I've been by the comments on this fic. The number of people who have shared things about their own struggles with mental health -- I'm not worthy of it. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

While I'm including this fic as part of the "Labels" series, the preceding fics are not required reading. Previous fics in this series: Boyfriends; “I Love You”, Partners, Fiancés

Warning: This fic deals with depression as one of its major topics.

Rated Explicit, this chapter 4718 words. (ao3)

Thanks to @high-seas-swan for cheerleading and B13_MaybeThisTime for many valuable comments (and also cheerleading).

Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Chapter 5: Winter

“So how was your week?” Jessica asked.

Patrick always felt like he should plan before therapy what he was going to talk about, but he never remembered to do that.

“It was a little crazy. The holidays at the store always are, although it’s very lucrative. The money we make in December will carry us through at least half of the upcoming year,” he said, pinching the webbing on one hand between his thumb and forefinger of the other.

“And did you feel more equipped to handle that? The busy store, and all your responsibilities around that? Especially with Christmas a few days away?”

Patrick shrugged, feeling obstinate. “I don’t know.”

Jessica let a silence settle, waiting for him to talk. Patrick hated this part; it made him feel like he was failing at therapy when he didn’t know how to fill that silence. What the right answer was. He crossed his arms and leaned back against the sofa cushions, calling her bluff.

Finally, she relented and spoke, and Patrick felt like he’d won a round of whatever game they were playing. “You’ve never said much in here about your sexual orientation other than to talk about your husband and to say that things with your family are good. Was it always that way?”

Patrick tried not to roll his eyes. He knew this would be coming eventually. He’d been avoiding the subject of Rachel or his coming out process because he knew it would be something Jessica would fixate on. “I’m not depressed because of being gay, or… or anything to do with that. I love being gay.”

She smiled genuinely. “I’m glad. But humor me.”

“My parents always accepted me,” he said quickly, but that felt like a lie even though it was technically true.

“How old were you when you came out?” Jessica asked.

Patrick let out a frustrated sigh, seeing no way to avoid the truth now. “I was… I was in denial about being gay for a long time.” Might as well get it all out, he thought. “When I was twenty-nine I broke off an engagement to my high school sweetheart — who was a woman — and moved away from my hometown. Pretty soon after that, I realized I was gay.”

“That must’ve been hard,” Jessica said.

“Yeah, but once I got through it and… and got together with David, I’d never been happier.”

He couldn’t help but see the smile she gave him in response to that as patronizing. “New love can flood the body with so many good chemicals that it swamps out all of the bad ones.”

Patrick narrowed his eyes. “Are you saying I wasn’t happy?”

“No, I’m saying that the way you’ve framed things in some of our past sessions — that you were depressed before you moved here, and then you weren’t, and now for some reason you’re depressed again… that may not be the right way to frame it. Do you think perhaps it puts a lot of pressure on David as the source of your happiness?”

“I don’t put pressure on David,” Patrick protested.

“Is it possible that you put pressure on yourself, then? When it comes to your relationship with David and its importance in your life?” Jessica asked.

Patrick huffed and didn’t answer. Now she was contradicting herself from one sentence to the next.

“When did you come out to your family?” she asked.

“That isn’t why I’m depressed either,” he said.

Jessica sighed like he was finally challenging her constant state of serene acceptance. “Untangling the web of depression isn’t straightforward. It might be helpful to pull on different threads and see what they’re connected to. Okay?”

Patrick supposed that made sense. “Okay.” Then after another pause, he admitted, “It took me a while to come out to my parents.”

“Why is that?”

He stared at Jessica’s bookshelf for several seconds, his eyes running over the titles without reading them. “I worried that my parents wouldn’t be okay with it. They didn’t talk about gay people when I was a kid, really. Or when they did, they made it sound like a sad thing that we needed to tolerate because it wasn’t a choice. You know, that brand of ‘tolerance’ that is just that and nothing more.”

She shot him a sympathetic look. “It’s understandable why you were hesitant to come out to them.”

“But they were great about it. It wasn’t long after coming out to them that I asked David to marry me, and they were great. They love him, and all my worries were unfounded,” he said, trying to figure out why tears were threatening to spill over.

Jessica took a few seconds to rearrange herself, setting her ever-present portfolio aside and leaning forward on with her elbows on her knees. “I understand that, looked at a certain way, you’ve had a purely positive experience with coming into your sexuality. You had David, who from what you’ve said before is a very loving person. And based on what you’ve told me, you live in an accepting community. And then your parents stepped up and were there for you when you asked them to be. That’s all wonderful, and not to be discounted. But it doesn’t change the fact that for all of your formative years, when maybe on some subconscious level you did know that you were gay, or at least different in some fundamental way, you didn’t feel like your parents or the community you were living in would accept you. That kind of experience leaves a mark, even though everything turned out fine.”

She smirked, leaning backwards again. “Or not. Perhaps your serotonin is low due to simple physiology and I’m completely off the mark.”

Patrick felt strangely reassured by this honesty, this admission that she knew that she didn’t know everything. “So I need medication, then?”

“Maybe,” she said. “Medication might help. Or cognitive behavior therapy could help you. Or both together.”

His reassurance quickly dissolved, leaving Patrick wanting to scream at his therapist, fix me, goddammit! Instead he said, “That all sounds very nebulous.”

She grinned. “From what I know about you so far, I bet that’s driving you crazy, and I’m sorry about that. Can you bear with me for a little while, though? Work through the process?”

He sighed. “I’ll try.”

~*~

Patrick drove past the empty storefront on Elmdale’s main street as he was leaving his therapy appointment. He’d noticed every week that the ‘for lease’ sign was still in the window. After the second time he saw it, he’d texted Ray to ask if that was the space he’d mentioned to David. David hadn’t said anything about the second Rose Apothecary location in a while, but it didn’t take a genius to guess that he was still thinking about it, and probably wondering when Patrick would be ready to seriously entertain the idea again.

On impulse, he pulled into one of the parking spaces that lined the street and got out of the car, walking over to the empty storefront. The windows were covered in paper, but he could see enough through the gaps to make out that it had a scuffed up hardwood floor. It would need to be refinished, he thought, but it looked like it was in pretty good shape.

The smell of coffee attracted Patrick’s attention, and he looked over to see that there was a coffee shop next door. Grind House, the sign that hung under the awning said. Curious, Patrick went over and opened the door.

The barista looked up and waved. It being around two in the afternoon on a weekday, the place was mostly empty other than two people at a table in the corner who were huddled over laptop computers. The shop was decorated tastefully for Christmas, and he thought David would approve of the warmth and coziness of the space.

“Hey, what can I get you?” the barista — Taylor, her name tag read — asked him with a smile. Tattoos snaked out from under the sleeves of her t-shirt, black ink against dark brown skin.

“A small earl grey tea?” he asked.

“Sure thing. Is that it? We’ve got a few pastries left.”

His eyes strayed over to the pastry case. “Yeah, could I get a couple of those butter tarts to go? My husband is a real connoisseur.”

Taylor grinned at him. “Smart man.”

“Hey, what do you know about the empty space next door? Do you know if there’s been any interest in it?”

“Oh man, I’m still bummed about that. It used to be a comic book shop. I was afraid to go in there for the longest time — comic stores aren’t necessarily the most welcoming places to black queer women, you know? But the old guy that ran it was super nice. I remember he made a point of telling me when Ta-Nahisi Coates started writing Captain America.”

“What happened to the store?”

She shrugged. “Amazon drove him out of business, I guess. That’ll be $9.25,” she said ringing up his tea and butter tarts. As Patrick put his debit card in the reader, she added, “Why do you ask?”

“Oh.” He scratched his cheek. “My husband and I run a store in Schitt’s Creek. Rose Apothecary?”

“Holy shit, really? A friend gave me some of your lotion for my birthday. It’s great.”

Patrick swelled with pride. “Thanks. Anyway, we’re considering opening a second location in Elmdale.”

Taylor smirked, handing him his tea and a box with the tarts. “Sorry, I can’t allow you to have a store right next door to my coffee shop. I’ll spend all my profits there.”

Laughing, Patrick accepted his purchases. “Oh, well. Guess we’ll have to look for another place, then. Although David would return the favor, I’m sure.”

“What’s your name?” Taylor asked.

“It’s Patrick Brewer,” he said, setting the tea down again to shake her hand.

“Nice to meet you, Patrick. I’m Taylor. And I hope you guys get the space.”

“I… do too,” he said, surprised to find that he meant it.

The store was bustling when he got back to Schitt’s Creek, and David and Bethany were both busy with customers. Patrick put the box of butter tarts in the back room and went to work restocking Christmas decorations. Given how many decorations they sold every holiday season, Patrick had to assume that by now every Christmas tree in Elm County was fully outfitted in David Rose’s aesthetic.

As soon as David finished with the customers he was helping, Patrick went over and put a hand on his shoulder. “I got you something for your afternoon break,” he said. “There’s a white box on the table in the back.”

David’s eyes lit up, and he hurried into the back before he could be waylaid by another harried holiday shopper.

They didn’t have a chance to exchange any more conversation until Bethany finally flipped the sign on the door to Closed and locked up. Patrick felt dead on his feet, but he had to admit that the thought of all the money in the cash register made him feel pretty good. Bethany went to work cleaning the windows while David leaned against the center table.

“Oh my god, Patrick, where did you get those butter tarts? Those are the best ones I’ve had in years.”

Patrick walked over and put his arms around his husband, pulling him into a hug. “A little coffee shop in downtown Elmdale that happens to be next to an empty store that I believe Ray mentioned to you a couple of months ago.”

David pulled out of the hug, his eyes darting back and forth as he studied Patrick’s expression. “It’s still vacant?”

Nodding, Patrick leaned up and kissed David’s cheek. “We should call Ray after Christmas and go take a look at it.”

“Are you sure?”

Patrick shrugged. “No, I’m scared as hell. Among other things, I’m afraid I’m going to miss having days like this with you, working together in our store. But I want to go look.”

David kissed his lips gently. “Okay.”

~*~

Stevie stood shivering on their back porch, bundled up in her hat and puffy parka. “It’s way too cold for this,” she said.

Patrick exhaled pot smoke in a crystalline cloud of breath and handled the joint back to her. “Our families are getting here tomorrow and I don’t want the house to smell like weed.” He giggled. “It doesn’t match David’s holiday aesthetic.”

His phone chimed, and he took it out to look at it, expecting a complaint from David. Instead the text was from his cousin. There were no words, just a picture of Justin pressed cheek to cheek with another boy.

Patrick: Who’s this?

Justin 🌈: his name is Jonah

Patrick: Very cute. And closer to your age, I hope?

Justin 🌈: 🙄 you sound like my mom he’s 18

Patrick: Good. Merry Christmas, Justin.

Justin 🌈: thanks you too

Then a text arrived from David, just as Patrick expected. She’s got even more luggage than last year.

Patrick laughed. Maybe it’s a lot of presents for you, he texted back.

David: You give my sister entirely too much credit.

Patrick: See you soon.

“Why are you suddenly so fucking popular?” Stevie groused, her teeth chattering, handing him the joint back as he put away his phone.

“Sounds like Alexis’s flight got in on time,” he said. “And my cousin Justin has a new�� boyfriend, I guess?” He took another hit.

“I can’t stand this anymore; I’m going inside,” Stevie said, taking the half-smoked joint from him and carefully extinguishing it, then putting it in a crumpled sandwich bag that she produced from her coat pocket. Patrick followed her back into the house. “Is this the cousin that you rescued a while ago?”

“How many gay cousins do you think I have?” he asked, pulling his coat off.

“I mean, statistically? Given how many cousins you have? More than one.” She flopped down on the sofa and stretched out on her back. “So are you liking your therapist any better?”

Patrick dropped into the overstuffed chair across from her. “I don’t know. As I predicted, she’s starting to fixate on my sexual orientation and…” He gestured airily in a very David way. “All that.”

Stevie turned her head and regarded him balefully. “The fact that you were in denial about being gay until you were thirty? And didn’t come out to your parents until you were ready to ask David to marry you? Is that what ‘all that’ is?”

“Fuck off,” Patrick grumbled.

“I’m just saying, there’s probably some stuff to unpack there.”

“Stevie, I’m completely comfortable with being gay,” he said.

“Didn’t say you weren’t. It’s not about you being gay, but maybe it’s about how you get so wrapped up in your obligations to other people that you lose track of yourself. Or that you’re so obsessed with not disappointing the people you care about that you have a hard time being truthful about who you are or what you need.”

Patrick blinked. “Wow. Maybe you should be my therapist.”

Stevie laughed. “The problem is, I need to be high to have these deep insights.”

They settled into comfortable silence for a few minutes. Finally Patrick admitted, “I don’t like the way it makes me feel cracked open.”

“What does?” Stevie asked, her mind clearly having wandered.

“Therapy.”

“Oh. Yeah, I don’t think I could deal with that either,” Stevie said.

“It’s like… you know how if you pick up a big rock in moist soil, there’ll be all these bugs underneath it?”

“Ew,” Stevie said in a perfect imitation of David, and the two of them burst into gales of laughter for a while. When Stevie finally got control of herself, she said, “Sorry, what about the bugs?”

He wiped away tears from his cheeks. “It was a metaphor for my brain. I’ve got a lifetime of practice not moving those rocks. I don’t know if I want to know what’s underneath them.”

“Yeah, I get that.” She stretched her toes out, brushing them against the arm of the sofa. “You know you’ll be okay though, right?”

Patrick felt a swell of love for Stevie and he would have hugged her, but it would probably be weird. Also he was comfortable in his chair. Maybe he’d hug her later.

When David arrived from retrieving Alexis at the airport, Patrick put his coat back on to help with the luggage. David opened a bottle of wine and turned the lamps in the living room off, leaving only the light from the Christmas tree to illuminate the four of them as they settled in to talk.

They told Alexis about the new location in Elmdale that they were considering leasing, and she made some marketing suggestions that were good enough that David went and retrieved his journal from the bedroom so that he could make some notes.

“One thing I’ve seen businesses do to get market penetration is sponsor relevant conferences,” Alexis said. “Like, professional association meetings. Then they get their business name and logo printed on everything for the conference — tote bags, lanyards, USB sticks, all that stuff.” Her free hand that wasn’t holding her wine glass flopped around to indicate all of the stuff.

“We don’t really have general store conferences,” Patrick said, bemused.

Alexis rolled her eyes. “But it works for other events too. Summer festivals, parades, whatever.”

“Elm Valley has a pumpkin festival every year,” Stevie said.

Patrick was starting to have a germ of an idea related to what Alexis had said. He sipped his wine and filed it away to mull over later, when he was sober.

Tomorrow, Johnny and Moira and his own parents would arrive and things would take a turn for the chaotic, but for right now, Patrick could enjoy the warmth of David’s hand on his shoulder as his husband bantered happily with his sister and his best friend. Leaning into the crook of David’s arm, Patrick smiled and tried to soak up all of the love in the room, an inoculation against the darkness that might lurk around the next bend in the road.

“Merry Christmas, sweetheart,” David murmured against his spine later in their bed. Their kisses had been drowsy and a little bit drunk as they decided that sex was happening tonight in spite of their houseguests. Alexis was in the guest bedroom and Stevie had zonked out on the living room sofa, David tucking an afghan around her shoulders before he and Patrick went to bed themselves.

“It’s not Christmas yet,” Patrick said with a chuckle, writhing, pressed against the sheets as David worked him up and up.

“I know it’s not technically Christmas, but tonight was so nice,” David murmured into Patrick’s shoulder, words alternating with kisses. “It filled me with holiday spirit.”

Patrick tried not to laugh, he really did, but it was a losing battle. He made an attempt to smother his giggles into his pillow.

“If you say something about me filling you with the holiday spirit, it’s over between us.” The things he was doing to Patrick with his fingers belied that statement.

Laughing again, Patrick pushed his hips back against David’s hand, and then his laughter turned into a moan, and then neither of them said anything coherent for a long time.

~*~

The first town council meeting of the new year came on a grey January afternoon, the threat of snow on the horizon. Everyone was subdued and low energy, even Roland, and Patrick felt drowsy, struggling a little bit to pay attention and type at the same time that they discussed several budgetary issues. A lot of the topics were the same every meeting, with tiny, incremental changes almost too small to detect. Or worse, they were recurring issues that indicated no progress had been made at all.

When they got to the bottom of the agenda, Ronnie asked if there was any new business, and Patrick almost didn’t say anything. The idea that had occurred to him during the holidays had seemed strong on a happier day. Today, he wasn’t sure he had the energy to argue for it. But then he thought about the things Ronnie had said to him about queer activism, and he thought about Taylor and her coffee shop, and he opened his mouth.

“Have we ever considered having something in Schitt’s Creek for Pride?” he asked.

Ronnie raised her eyebrows. “What, like a parade?”

“No offense, but it might be kind of a sad little parade,” Roland said.

“No, not a parade. Like, a street festival. Tents with food and other vendors and LGBT educational booths. Opportunities for people to find out about meetings in the area. Maybe a stage with speeches and musical performances. And we don’t have to limit it to only Schitt’s Creek. I looked into it a little, and even Elmdale doesn’t have anything like it. We could draw vendors and patrons from all over Elm County.”

Ronnie crossed her arms. “Sounds like a way to line your own pockets. I assume Rose Apothecary would be one of the vendors?”

Patrick met her gaze. “I’m sure the rest of council could be counted on to keep us on a level playing field with everyone else. Come on, Ronnie. Can you honestly say it wouldn’t be a good thing for the community? And a good way to bring money into the town?”

She tilted her head in acquiescence. “Put together a formal proposal and we can vote on it at the next meeting.”

“I’m going to vote ‘yes,’” Bob stage-whispered to Patrick.

“Thanks, Bob.”

After the meeting had adjourned, Patrick went over to Ronnie. “I thought later this month I’d go to that Thornbridge LGBTQIA+ meeting you told me about. See what they’re doing and make some connections. Ask if they’d be interested in helping out with our Pride festival.”

Ronnie stared at him for a second. “Your festival idea hasn’t been approved yet,” she said.

“Assuming it’s approved,” he said, unable to keep himself from grinning. “Would you like to go with me?”

“You want me to spend hours in a car with you, driving to Thornbridge. Really.”

“Come on, Ronnie. Someday you and I are going to have to bury the hatchet for good.” He put on his most guileless expression, the one that caused David to accuse him of weaponizing his eyes. “Why not in service to the queer community, of which we are both pillars?”

She almost, for a split second, looked like she was going to crack a smile. Instead she sighed. “Fine. Let me know when it is. I’ll see if I’m available.”

~*~

They celebrated signing the lease for the new store with pizza at David’s favorite spot in Elmdale. There were paper hearts colored by children in the front window, and it reminded Patrick that he only had a few days to find a suitably tacky gift for David for Valentine’s Day. It wasn’t worth it if he couldn’t get David to threaten to divorce him on this, David’s most hated of holidays.

While they waited for their pizza, Patrick reached across the red and white checkered tablecloth and took David’s hand. “Thank you,” he said.

David had been fiddling with his phone, but at the sound of Patrick’s voice, he set it face-down on the table and gave Patrick his full attention. “What for?”

“For being there for me so many times this past year. For… for putting up with me at my worst.”

A crooked smile threatened to erupt on David’s face. “Patrick, you know your worst is still pretty good, right?”

“I hope you’re not still grading me on a Sebastien Raine curve, David.”

David rolled his eyes at that. “No, I’m just saying that maybe you don’t have the most objective perspective on what being married to you is like.” His eyes softened. “I’m as happy being your husband today as I was the first day. Okay?”

Patrick swallowed around a surprising lump in his throat. “Okay.”

“You’re nervous about the new store,” David surmised.

“I am, but it’s the right decision,” Patrick said with confidence.

“I’m nervous too,” David said. “Don’t mistake my outward confidence for anything other than a thin veneer over all of my anxieties.”

That statement automatically put Patrick into reassurance mode. “The marketing ideas from Alexis are going to be helpful. The customer base in Elmdale is huge and has more disposable income compared to what we’re used to at home. I’ve run some numbers, and I think the revenue from this location may outstrip our Schitt’s Creek location in a matter of months.”

David grimaced. “Well, that somehow makes me feel irrationally protective of our first store. It doesn’t deserve to be the under-achiever.”

Squeezing David’s hand, Patrick said, “Never. I fell in love with you there, and there’s nowhere in the world more important to me than that store.”

“We can make new memories at the new store,” David said softly.

Patrick knew, realistically, that he and David probably wouldn’t be spending that much time together at the new store after they got it open. They’d have to split time between the two locations, and there would be even more work to do out on the road, expanding their vendor base to support the increased demand.

David seemed to read his thoughts. “And when we spend our days apart, it will make being at home together in the evenings that much more precious.”

“Yeah,” Patrick managed to say, his voice raw. He averted his eyes from David’s piercing gaze, staring out the window between the gaps in the paper hearts. “Can you… can you talk to me more about that?”

David smiled and rubbed his hands together. “Well, imagine a day when I’m at the store here in Elmdale, and you’re at the store back at home.”

“Are you at the one in Elmdale because of Taylor’s pastries?”

“Shhh,” David said, reaching out with a finger like he was going to put it over Patrick’s lips. “I leave the store a little early, letting one of our trusted employees close up, and I bring home some wine and cheese from the store. Maybe some of Heather’s new triple cream.” He closed his eyes like he was having an erotic fantasy about Heather Warner’s cheese.

“Wine and cheese that you pay for,” Patrick said.

“Naturally. Oh, and fresh berries. It’s summer, and there are berries in season. So I set everything up on the kitchen table, just in time for you to arrive home from the other store. And we drink wine and eat cheese and we tell each other all about our days. The sun is setting, and the light is all golden,” David said.

“I like this story,” Patrick replied. “Then what happens?”

“Eventually we move to the sofa. Maybe watch some TV or listen to some music. We put our feet up and finish our wine and you remember something funny that you saw on the internet and you tell me about it. And then when we get tired, we go to bed.”

“What happens then?” Patrick asked as their server set their pizza in front of them and David grabbed a slice.

David’s mouth twisted into a crooked smile and he waggled his eyebrows. “The rest of the story is very interesting, but you’ll have to wait to get home to hear that part.”

“Hmm, okay.” Patrick reached for his own slice of pizza.

“Hey,” David said, drawing Patrick back to looking at him. “I love you. I can’t wait to see what the next year brings for us.”

Patrick smiled. He felt bolstered, lifted up by David’s support and for once, he allowed himself to feel good about it. “Me either, David.”

#david x patrick #schitt's creek ff #schitt's creek fic #david x patrick fic #david x patrick ff #my fic

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