#as long as you depend on other people to tell you what’s right&wrong and base your ideal self off their expectations
Note
This is not a question, but a reflection. With this BF story, I thought a lot. And I think that as French, I don't have the same point of view. I was especially shocked by these words: “he must be educated”. France has a deep colonial past. and I thought: "we must educate these ignorant Chinese? but who are we to think that we are better and superior? we who today have so much hatred for them?" Each country has its point of view depending on his history. no need to respond if you don't want to. And thank you for your always respectful and thoughtful publications.
This is in reference to a previous post.
Bonjour lyndariell, j'espère que tu vas bien. ☺️
This is a perfect example of what I was saying about this being a very complex issue with a lot of different perspectives and angles.
In order to make sense of and come to terms with this issue we each need to find the right balance between upholding our own values and respecting the values of others. That's bound to be a tricky process because we're each coming from a different region, with different backgrounds, experiences and perspectives on the world.
Each of us will have a different degree of empathy and alignment toward one or more of the various stakeholders in the situation as well, based on our own experiences, interests and values.
In other words, it's complicated.
It is true that for some people, hearing so many white Westerners say that a Chinese man half a world away 'needs to be educated' on any topic might legitimately feel distasteful and wrong. There is this Western conceit that our values and way of life are superior and obviously correct, and that other nations are just 'behind us' in heading toward the same goals*.
*Although the same is also true going East to West.
It would be totally understandable if some people were to reject the Westerners' characterization of this issue and say that the choices that led to blackface being used in this film are not our choices to make. After all, the filmmakers are telling a Chinese story to a Chinese audience, and they know best how to go about that.
Fair enough. But...
Speaking of colonialism
While we're on the topic of colonialism shouldn't we also be talking about China and its role as a neocolonial power in Africa? As I said in my previous post, it's not really fair for us to look at things solely from our own perspective and in the context of the cultural environment we are in rather than considering the cultural environment this film was made in.
Have you heard of the Belt and Road Initiative? Actually you don't need to answer that question, because almost every turtle has definitely heard of it. GG sang a beautiful song in celebration of that initiative not that long ago, complete with a video highlighting some of the major projects involved.
I didn't post that video on my blog, but you can watch it here. All the bridges, trains and other infrastructure you can see in the video are projects from the Belt and Road Initiative; China investing across Asia, Africa and other regions to improve transport and trade (and to build on China's power globally).
I'm no @potteresque-ire, so I'm not going to break it all down in a meticulous, intelligent, well-cited masterpiece, but you can learn a bit more about it here. There are also countless online articles, papers, analyses, critiques, accolades, etc. from every possible angle out there if you want to dig deeper.
Some of the core strategy of the initiative involves proposing massive infrastructure projects in poor regions, loaning them the money to make the projects happen (loans in the billions), and stipulating that the contracts must be completed by Chinese companies. Resulting in countries with shiny new railways and hospitals built and paid for by the Chinese government and Chinese corporations, with these countries massively in debt to China for many decades to come and with deep trade ties to China.
Depending on who you ask, Belt and Road is either an exploitative, environmentally disastrous neocolonialist power/resource grab, or it's an innovative unifying effort to improve the lives and trade of its member nations.
I personally feel its a bit of both.
Whichever it is, it does have a very dark side. There have been many stories coming out of these regions, telling about slave-like working conditions and horrific abuse from the Chinese contractors toward their African workers. I made the mistake of researching this and let me just say that what I've seen cannot be unseen. There is a reason people make snide jokes about the "belt" in Belt and Road.
And that's just the Belt and Road Initiative. There are a lot of other Chinese individuals and companies going into regions across Africa to take advantage of the people and resources for their own monetary gain. I posted about one such example the other day.
So in considering imperialistic attitudes it's only fair to reflect on what it might mean for a Chinese person to wear an African ethnicity like a costume, in a country that is frequently racist toward Africans and which is thought by many to be exploiting African nations with a form of neocolonialist debt slavery.
Particularly when said costume leads to a massive increase in the amount of racist posts on Chinese social media, and with a tone of raucous mockery and disdain.
We should consider the impact of this film on Chinese attitudes toward Africa and Africans. Based on what I've seen on Weibo, in various articles and on international social media it seems like there is a strong colonialist 'white savior' narrative coming out of this film; glorifying China as swooping in and saving these helpless Africans.
Taken alongside the horrible racism of Chinese audience reactions to the blackface, I don't think looking at it through 'the other lens' gives us a prettier picture.
If the primary category of people who are not offended by this tends to be audiences who are reacting with racist mockery, then a deeper reflection needs to happen.
All that aside, DD isn't working in a vacuum. He has been actively cultivating an international audience and working closely with international brands. He doesn't have the luxury of ignoring Western values if he wants to continue down that path.
And let's not forget that the culture he's so enamoured of is black American culture. If he loves Western hip hop culture so much it would behoove him to better understand and support the people at the root of that culture. The people who literally made it possible for him to find and enjoy that culture.
DD is a good person at heart. I feel that participation in cultural harm is beneath his dignity, and not something he'd consciously choose to do if he had a better understanding of the impacts.
When it comes to culture clash and differences in values it's also important to remember that while everyone is free to make their own choices about what they say and do, so too is everyone else free to make their own choices about how to respond to what that person says and does.
DD is a massive star, so his behavior and choices go far beyond his own cultural environment. It's inevitable that some people are going to have different takes on it all.
And I don't feel like people are telling DD what to do, so much as they're talking about what he needs to do in order to maintain their support. They're drawing out the boundaries of what they deem acceptable as fans. From there everyone has their own choices to make, including DD.
My own position
Here's the thing: I've come under loud, vehement fire from black fans for not taking a strong enough stand on this issue, while some other fans feel I'm being too hard on DD. Now you're saying I should consider the colonialist angle and reflect on whether it's even appropriate for me to think DD has anything to learn.
I can only ever be myself, and speak and act from my own values. I will always think for myself and take my own positions, no matter how unpopular they are and no matter how harshly people attack me for it (and they have).
I am capable of holding multiple conflicting perspectives in my heart and feeling compassion for them all.
I empathize with black people who ***for fuck's sake!!*** have been so thoroughly fucked over on every level and in every possible way by people around them who just don't get it about racism. Who just don't get how deep and broad and far-reaching it is and about how soul-destroying it is to live in a world where this shit is normalized.
I can't even begin to imagine how hard it must be to be a black fan who loves DD and then see him in blackface, and then watch all the fans try to gloss over it as though it doesn't matter.
I empathize with Chinese fans who are in most cases probably not at all ill-intended, whose reactions came honestly even if they were jarring to Western fans, and who have mostly found this story and its telling both exciting and moving.
I empathize with diaspora fans who are having to deal with a whole bunch of sanctimonious lectures about who DD should be and what he should think, say and do.
I empathize with the filmmakers, who after all were probably just trying to give an accurate retelling of something that actually happened in real life.
I empathize with DD, who was likely doing what was requested of him and probably didn't realize that it would turn out to be so controversial or negatively impact so many people.
Anyone who can say with a straight face that they think DD would ever intentionally or knowingly do something that would be this controversial or that would be hurtful to so many of his fans can KMA. That's not the kind of person DD is at all.
Blackface is a huge deal here in the West, and even people in this region are constantly getting it wrong. How can we expect people in regions where it's not traditionally been a big deal to do better than people here who are steeped in awareness*?
*And before anyone says that cultural relativism is such that only people in the West really think blackface is wrong, why not try talking to some of the African fans who've been deeply upset by this?
This is what it is to live in the world. Life is complex, and people are messy. Like I said before; nothing is black and white. Everything is a million shades and hues. As much as people will try to oversimplify the issue and try to intimidate us into taking 'their side', or try to punish and attack us for not doing so, we can only ever live by our own conscience.
No matter how much pressure I come under to condemn one of the individuals or groups I listed above, I will refuse to do so. My conscience tells me to be compassionate and understanding to all of them, and that everyone is always doing their best.
I hope and believe that our differing opinions can coexist. We can disagree and still be friends, as long as we remain open to accepting one another, and as long as we respect each other's right to our own conscience and values.
Merci pour cet échange d'idées intéressant. 💛.
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Mind The Gap
Bradley "Rooster" Bradshaw x Reader
masterlist | taglist
summary: requested by anon! <;3 you're nervous about making it official with Rooster because of your 13 year age gap and meeting his friends only makes it worse
★ word count: 819
★ tw: age gap (reader is 25, Rooster is ~38 depending on when you want to say the movie takes place), comforting SO, insecurity
★ author's note: title doesn't really relate but it was the first thing that came to my mind it's actually the most painful part of posting for me LMAO
You and Rooster had been dating for a couple of months but had yet to make it official. It was mostly nerves on your side- you’d heard almost every joke in the book from your friends and family about your age gap.
It’s not that there was disapproval from them per se, but the 13 years between the two of you could only be a punchline for so long before you start to think that there’s some judgement behind their jokes.
You were falling in love with him, so most of the time you tried to brush it off, but it was starting to make you insecure about your relationship, and you weren’t even his yet. Nevertheless, you’d both agreed to take things slow, so here you were, finally meeting his friends for the first time at a bar near the base.
Everything was going well enough- Rooster introduces you to the people he spends most of his time with, and you get to hear embarrassing stories about him.
But then there’s a lull in the conversation, and Rooster is offering to get everyone another drink.
“Your girl even old enough to drink?” Hangman jabs, and a few of the other pilots snort at his comment.
“Don’t listen to him-“ Phoenix nudges your shoulder, then continues louder to the group, “-he’s just jealous Rooster is in a stable relationship.” She smirks, taking a swig of her beer. You force a laugh, trying to hide the uncomfortableness you feel.
The conversation moves on to another subject, and you mention getting yourself a drink. The comments were nothing new, but it was different when you were with his friends. You didn’t want them to think of you as anything less than a peer.
No one else seems to have noticed that Rooster hadn’t laughed throughout the entire interaction, but you don’t miss his stare on you as you politely excuse yourself to the bar.
You’re grateful for the crowd as you weave away from the group, losing sight of them and deciding you can get away with going outside for a few minutes. You’d get a drink on your way back in and blame your delay on the Friday night rush.
You pass a few people as you head out, walking around the side of the bar to lean against the wall where you have some privacy.
You start chewing your lip- a bad habit you have when you got anxious, and try to calm yourself down. You only had to fake it for a couple more hours, and aside from Hangman’s comments, you were genuinely enjoying Rooster’s friends’ company.
Your eyes start to water the longer you stand and soon you’re overthinking every interaction from the night. You don’t notice Rooster round the corner as you wipe a few stray tears from your cheeks.
“Y/N?” He’s in front of you in an instant, hands on both of your shoulders as he leans to meet your gaze. “Hey, hey. What’s wrong?” You suspect he already knows, but he gives you the chance to tell him, and you do.
“It’s such a stupid thing to be upset about.” You sniffle.
“It’s not stupid. You can’t control what makes you upset, sweetheart.” He pulls you into his arms.
“I don’t have a single doubt about us, you know that right? You’re the smartest, kindest, most beautiful woman I've ever met and I'm not going to lose you over something as small as a few years.” His words almost make you cry more, and you think he probably realizes this when you move your hands up to grip his shoulders, because he continues talking.
“I mean sure, maybe if you were, like, eighteen and I was in my thirties it’d be a little weird, but-“ He looks down at you when a laugh escapes your mouth, happy that his jab cheered you up.
“You’re not a kid, Y/N. No one in there thinks of you that way.” He kisses the top of your head. “Hangman’s just an ass.”
“An ass who’s jealous you’re in a stable relationship.” You retort, bringing Phoenix’s words back up.
Rooster laughs at this, “Exactly.”
You stand in his arms for a little longer, your breaths slowing as he rubs your back. Finally, “I think I’m ready to go back in, Roos.”
“Hmmm…” He drags out, “But now I don’t know if I am.” You shake your head at him, laughing. “Come on, Bradley. Let’s go.” You take his hand and try to pull him after you.
He rolls his eyes playfully, “Fine.” But he stops in his tracks. “Y/N?” His tone is more serious now.
“Yeah?” He clears his throat, “You think we can talk about the ‘stable relationship’ part more when we get back to your place later?”
You close the space between the two of you, sliding your hand to the side of his neck. “No need.” You say, before kissing him softly. “I’m yours.”
Taglist: @gcldtom @picked-off-by-barzal @sarahghae @lucianaasf @strawb3rrydr3ss
#bradley bradshaw#bradley rooster bradshaw#rooster top gun#top gun maverick#rooster bradshaw#rooster bradshaw imagine#top gun 2#top gun fanfiction#miles teller#rooster bradshaw fic#rooster bradshaw x you#rooster x you#rooster fic#rooster bradshaw x y/n#rooster bradshaw x reader#bradley bradshaw x reader#bradley bradshaw fanfic#top gun
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what do you think saeran’s toxic traits would be in a relationship? like do you think he’d treat his gf well? (ge saeran)
GE Saeran may not be the perfect partner, but to be honest, I don't think we can quantify anyone as a "perfect partner".
Relationships are about working, learning, and growing together. Sometimes you'll say something really dumb or misunderstand your partner without meaning to, and sometimes you'll do something like peel an orange for your lover without needing to be asked because you love helping them!
It's very normal to have a relationship that flows like a river, seeming fast and slow at times, moving through rocks, fish, and sticks, too.
Now, don't let that make you think it's healthy to argument with your partner all the time. Disagreements are healthy in a relationship but not full-blown arguments and spats. You're two different people, even if you love each other, you will run into a wall sometimes, and you get moments where you learn how to concede, compromise, and adapt if and when it comes to that. There's a balance, you're looking for some kind of harmony in your partnership, but it won't always be perfect.
It isn't healthy to assume it's sunshine and roses every day, just like it isn't healthy to assume it's doom and gloom every second. It's about two or more people coming together to make it work, and as long as you have that, as long as you have communication, your relationship will thank you for it. The cornerstone of a relationship hinges on your ability to communicate your needs. If you fall to meet that, it will end up crumbling in some way, shape, or form.
So, what do I think would be unhealthy for Saeran? Well, let's blow this one out of the bag already since this seems to be a problem for many people who talk about Saeran and MC. Did you guys know in the game, V/Rika and Saeran/MC are written to to be foils? Most of all, especially in the case of Ray Route and the RAE. There's a line in which we need to draw when it comes to unhealthy attachment and dependency.
V and Rika? Codependent. They have a hard time functioning without the other even if they're both well-aware they're horrible for the other by the end. Rika feels like she needs V around no matter how much she screams in agony that she hates him because he is her Savior, her God, and her light. V feels like he needs to keep protecting Rika, in part because he doesn't want to hurt someone like he thinks he did to his mother, but because he promised her he would.
Saeran and MC? NOT CODEPENDENT. Saeran and MC work side by side, communicate, and make decisions based on what feels right to them. Saeran's actions don't hinge upon MC telling him what to do in the moment. He asks them for input but he isn't bound by it. MC isn't demanding Saeran do what they want. They tell him to think about all the options he has, and he considers what he wants before they talk it out, discussing pros and cons for everything.
The game lays this out very plainly but some people miss the point in the fact that these dynamics are meant to foil one another and show two sides of the situation and where a dynamic can be healthy and... well, where it goes wrong. Saeran and MC don't need each other to be able to function in life, but V and Rika... they have a hard time with that.
Codependency vs Interdependency.
So, with that being said, what do I think Saeran might deal with in a relationship that's not healthy, but could be worked on?
I think GE Saeran's core struggle will be trying to find a sense of individuality.
But, this is something he's already talked about in the game, and it's something he's willing to work on every day for the rest of his life. It isn't surprising to know that he values the comfort of those around him more than he values himself, but he's learning how to accept that his needs and wants matter just as much. So it's not as if this is going to be something that's happening for a long time since he's already well aware of it, but it's good to point out that it's not only something that he needs to be aware of, but you do, as well. You don't want him to focus on just what you want in life, after all.
I have a hard time imagining him struggling with most things that many people do in relationships just because he's so dedicated to working on himself and being aware of the problems that may spring up within him—it makes it hard to say something that could be toxic. His willingness to be better and to communicate squashes so many traits that can make somebody do something toxic, willfully or not.
Since communication is a cornerstone of any relationship, if there were any problems, he would work on them, and that reduces a lot of the expected "toxic" traits you see. It's so hard for me to say, "Well, he may do this or that," when I know the minute you said something, he would be researching and learning how to curb a bad behavior. He's not trying to be willfully cruel, after all!
Saeran's not perfect, is my point, but if there were any problems, he would work on them.
#mod kait#ask#mystic messenger#anon#mysme#saeran choi#mysticmessenger#mm#choi saeran#ge saeran#saeray#saeran#character analysis#i know it sounds like he's perfect but he's not
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About Me
Hi there, Lulu here.
I do have a real name but I prefer to go by Lulu on here and Ao3 so please use that.
I go by she/he/they. Call me what you want I don't mind. It changes day by day for me in the real world, but my friends and family don't know that.
I'm pansexual but again only a few people know that.
I'm in my 30's but have the maturity of a teenager unless I'm in parent mode when I have to pretend to be a grown-up (It does not last long!).
I am a huge huge huge Harry Potter fan (Fuck JK, she's a dick!) My house is full of so many HP-related items. In fact, I think every room has something in it, thank the gods my husband is also a massive nerd.
In case you can't tell I am Neurospicy. I am in the middle of getting diagnosed with ADHD and by that I mean I am procrastinating actually starting the process.
Now where was I?
Oh, yeah I like so much stuff I can't think what else to put here but yeah Harry Potter, mainly Marauders era but I love anything really.
My fav ships are Wolfstar (I've loved them since I was a young thing and didn't even know it was a thing." Jegulus (My new love.) Dramione (Lord have mercy) Drary (Lord I need more mercy) Pandalily (Meep!) Dorlene (Squeek!) I like Marylily as well but not as much, but I love them when I read them.
My asks are open and you can send me whatever you want, no hate please no one needs that in their life and Tumblr is my happy place don't spoil it.
Things that make me happy
You guys. Honesty it's Tumblr, I've only just really found this and all you amazing people who like my silly stories that I've only been writing regularly since December 23 when I found you all. My husband and son make me happy and so do my dogs and cats. I love watching storms and autumn. I read a lot, I crochet, I knit, I write. I am a huge fan of chocolate. If you give me chocolate I will be your friend.
Music
Bowie. Nuff said.
But yeah I like a lot of different stuff, it depends on my mood as to what I listen to. I drive my husband mad because I like songs by lots of people but I can't remember what they're called or who they're by.
Books
My all-time favourite book will always be Prisoner of Azkaban. It is my happy place.
My house is full and I mean full of books. I don't actually know how many I have but last time I estimated I had 300 in my bedroom alone. (There are piles of books in every room 😬)
ACOTAR!!!
Shows/movies
Harry Potter, The Martain, The Princess Bride, Labyrinth, Hunger games, Twilight (Don't judge me they got me through a dark time.), How to train your Dragon, Disney anything, plus others there are so many and I'm bored of listing.
Good Omens, Schitts Creek, Parks and Rec, Bake off, Handmaids tale, It's always sunny, community, Harbin hotel, archer, vampire diaries. Plus more but yeah typing.
Okay I think I'm done but who knows I might add more if I remeber.
Love you all
Lulu
xxx
My Ao3 List
These are my fanfics on my ao3
Bitten M- Remus, Sirius and James head to the forest for a fun full moon. Everything is going great until one of them has an accident. (This was the very first fanfic I wrote. It's okay.) Wolfstar. Complete.
The Prisoner T- Sirius Black has been wrongly imprisoned for 12 years. He's bided his time but now its time to escape and right the wrongs of the past.
The Prisoner of Azkaban as told by Sirius Black, filling in the gaps starting with his escape from Azkaban. Wolfstar. Complete.
The Cupboard E- Hiding from Filch and awaiting rescue things get a bit close in the cupboard between Remus and Sirius. Wolfstar smut one shot. Complete.
Birthday E(I think, I'm not good at telling) Sirius finds Remus alone in their dorm room instead of enjoying the party downstairs. Wolfstar. Complete.
The One That Got Away E- James agrees to throw a party at his house. Sirius asks to bring his little brother, how could that possibly affect James at all? Based on the micro fic series I wrote in January. Jegulus. Backcould Wolfstar. Incomplete.
Jegulus Prompt Series All the prompts I've written on here in one place.
Wolfstar Prompt Series All the prompts I've written on here in one place.
The Way They Were T - While Harry is clearning out Grimmauld Place he discovers that Wolfstar were a thing.
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Pick-A-Pile: Your self-healing status message
Hello and welcome to Kleo’s really quick Pick-A-Pile reading.
This time I have short messages for you regarding your self-healing process and progress.
This is a timeless general reading so pick what resonates with you and dismiss the rest.
Disclaimer:
Don’t base life decisions purely on tarot readings
Tarot isn’t an exact science, your life is in your hands
I can never guarantee any of what’s said in the reading
Feedback: Feedback is very important for content creators and for me it’s even more important. Please, let me know whether the tarot readings resonate. If there’s anything you dislike or find off about my readings (like wording, topics, focus), just tell me. I don’t want you to write 1000-word feedback, very simple comments will do for me to stay motivated. I don’t know why I have to keep repeating this but this is something I do for you, guys, and when I don’t feel motivated to do tarot readings, I have many other things to do. The more motivation I get, the more readings you will get to read. The logic is very simple but it’s two sided.
🌸🌸🌸
Pile 01
You have been hurt and it still gives you pain. You might even feel left out or ostracised by others, maybe you have outgrown your friends or your soul family. Maybe somebody mistreated you repeatedly. Or maybe you mistreated yourself and didn’t listen to your own voice.
That needs to stop now. You are advised to cut ties with those who are toxic in your life, with projects that go nowhere and your own doubts about yourself. Forgiveness is the gift you give to yourself not to others. Let go of the past and allow your healing to start.
You are your own healer. Pamper yourself, build your self-esteem, become the person you always wanted to be. This is your time to steal the spotlight, to let people know how amazing a person you are. Don’t worry you will be alone when you get rid of the toxic people. Show yourself to the world and the right people will come to you. You are attractive, you are worth it, you are well prepared to embrace your own beauty and you deserve sweetness in your life. Your soultribe is out there but they will never find you if you don’t take the risk and present yourself. Start small, go for a walk and start a small talk with a dog walker perhaps (praise the dog, we dog lovers love other people praising our pets, you can’t say anything wrong as long as you say something nice about our dog, it’s the easiest way to actually start talking to a stranger), join a gym and make friends there, or join a group chat or online community based on your interest, become a creator of content and attract like-minded people into your life. The first step is the hardest one but believe you are ready to start!
🌸🌸🌸
Pile 02
Congratulations to you, dear Pile 2! You are mostly done with your healing, the cycle is over, you have made you are ready to make the next step. Your own soul is mended and fixed, your heart is overflowing, your life is on track (more or less).
It’s time for you to shift from self-healing to giving. You have a new interest or even basking in the light of the loving gaze of your new sweetheart. You have found your tribe, your soul family, there are people deeply attached to you and you are attached to them. You can now start creating something amazing together, be it a project, art, adventure, home or family.
This is all awesome but keep in mind to stay balanced and fair. Make sure your boundaries are respected, make sure your progress is not done at others’ expense. Be loyal and dependable but don’t let others abuse your kindness. You’re in a good place now but that doesn’t mean you are immune to heartaches.
🌸🌸🌸
Pile 03
The game is afoot, the healing and transformation has begun for you. Does it feel scary to face the past traumas and hurts within you, process them and let them go? Nobody said the healing process is easy. You might need a lot of strength and courage to deal with your spiritual baggage. Maybe you’re still carrying some difficult karma with you as well.
However, the power of transformation and growth is in your hands, the seeds of happiness, love and abundance are already present in the fertile soil of your soul. Tend them and be generous. Make a plan for your future. What kind of person do you want to become through this healing? Start planning the steps to achieve your goals and dreams. Be ready to face challenges, overcome obstacles and accept assistance from the universe. If you are open to embrace the support, it will come to you like a healing summer rain, washing all the dust of your past away and leaving you feeling all fresh and rejuvenated. Your own inner power to reinvent yourself and restart your life is infinite. Once you know what your goal is, the path unfolds in front of you. Don’t be hesitant to accept help when it presents itself to you. This is your healing but nobody says you have to do all the labour by yourself. If you feel stuck with an issue, seek guidance and assistance from those who can provide it.
🌸🌸🌸
I hope you found something useful in this reading, let me know your thoughts and opinions.
Thank you for participating and be blessed regardless of the level of healing you are currently at.
Kleo 🦄
#tarot#tarotblr#tarot pick a pile#tarot pick a card#PAC#pac tarot#pick a pile#pick a card#pac reading#pick a pile reading#tarot community#tarot readings#love tarot free#free tarot#oracle kleo#self healing#self care
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jouissance (3)
Phillip Graves x Reader | Phillip feels himself shifting, the way it happens when he starts to think of something as his. Like he's pacing the edge of the property, keeping what belongs to him under his watchful eye, by his side. Ready to gore whatever thinks they can take it from him. | word count: 1,688
Someone has done wrong by his wife, Phillip can tell. Even if all she does is look real surprised when she walks away from baggage claim and sees him there waiting for her.
It’s the same eyes she gave him when he got her the ring, like she never expected it; which makes it startlingly clear that she’s been made to think she’s not worth the trouble. And she’s thought that for long enough that she has no issue depending on only herself.
And it should be one more flash of good luck for him, all things considered. It’d be far easier to live his life not putting in effort that isn’t expected of him, but the thought hits him dead in the pride.
His wife should never be pitied for it. It should be something to envy, belonging to him. No one’s going to look at his senator’s girl like they look at Marnie, no one would ever call his girl ‘abnegate’ like they do to his mother. So, of course it bothers him; enough to have him licking an orgasm out of her on the backseat of his truck, in the middle of the airport parking lot, while she giggles out something about getting arrested for indecent exposure. And he laughs into her cunt, drags a hint of teeth over her clit just to see her flinch because this is by far the tamest illegal shit he’s done these past few weeks.
She doesn’t know that, though. Phil’s frankly not sure she even knows the full extent of what he does for a living, beyond the fact that it’s vaguely military related and it sometimes takes him down to shithole places for months at the time.
She knows it was the reason they didn’t have a honeymoon; which then gave her an excuse to abscond back to New York for a month.
And Phillip, he doesn’t have the healthiest impression of marriage, he’s aware. He’s met enough married shadows that get the jitters as soon as they touch down at home base, aching to get back to their spouses, to realize that the way his father and Pete gripe about their wives isn’t the norm.
But Phil didn’t really imagine himself one way or the other, before feeling the itching under his skin to just wrap up a nice little win as fast as possible; when he couldn’t still the bouncing of his leg through typing out his mission report. Not before this last week he spent on his own in the new house.
Maybe it’s because it is new, but it’s fucking barren. The long silence after a fight he didn’t win. There’s no hair in the drains to complain about, no overspill of beauty products on the bathroom counter. None of the things he’s seen in her apartment in the city: the book haphazardly thrown on the couch and the spices standing at attention by the stove, like a splinter cell from the army of jars on the rack.
It should be unsettling to want it, should feel out of character, but Phillip’s too used to noise to be comfortable in that tomb of a house. He’s right at home in the constant din of people around him, and he happens to really like the noises she makes.
The breathless little thing she groans out as she tugs on his hair, the singing under her breath while she redresses herself —in that way that makes him wanna keep her in bed all day. All those sounds she’s keeping just out of his reach by refusing to stay in town.
“You don’t like the house?”
He breaches the topic as soon as he merges onto the highway, with a hand splayed possessive over her thigh. It’s about as subtle as a tank, bulldozing over the bore of late friday night traffic; and it makes her straighten in the passenger seat where she’s leaning back, boneless, save for the wrist hanging out the window so the smoke of her cigarette falls mostly away from the vehicle.
Phil watches like a hawk; follows each little shift in her expression, looking for the denial, the excuses. He gets a burst of embarrassed laughter instead.
“Feels weird, doesn’t it? It’s so quiet.”
“Well we haven’t been in it to make it noisy, have we?”
This time her laugh is a little higher, breathy and surprised. She reaches for his hand, teasing her fingertips over the endless little white lines of scar scattered across his knuckles; and she takes advantage of the gridlock to lean in and speak right into the skin of his neck.
“This place is so fucking boring when you’re not around.”
…
The Graves are a good, southern, God fearing family; they go to church every Sunday, they say their prayers before every meal. And they bless every single calf less than half an hour after the poor things first lay eyes on this world.
Phillip— isn’t. He can’t stand the smell of incense, he’s spent too many hours counting the floor tiles as their pastor droned on about loving thy neighbor and he’s never felt God out in the field with him. Not that he has any need for it, when he can rely on himself and his shadows.
But god damn, if this girl wasn’t heaven sent with a pretty bow and his fucking name on the tag.
He feels it in his bones with a certainty so deep it aches, bent over her in the stupid walk in closet neither of them cared about but it’s quickly proving itself a necessity. Or maybe that’s just his orgasm crawling like fire up his spine, feeling her tighten around him everytime he catches her eyes through the ridiculously big mirror. Perhaps it’s the sight of her dripping with him, his inside and out. Or the way it takes none of the cajoling he’d braced himself for, to convince her to come meet the shadows on base.
“Give me a baseline here. What are they expecting? Marilyn or Jackie?”
Her voice comes loud, so he can hear her all the way in the en-suite from where he left her starfished on the bed, chattering away with that manic sort of energy spike she gets when the sex is really good.
Phil considers it for a second, watches her stretch like a cat towards him as soon as she lays eyes on him, and she shines in the shared petty joy of performing a different version of themselves, keeping their soft bellies out of reach.
But he doesn’t like the thought of her playing stupid for the Shadows. He doesn’t want to put on a show for them; hell, just imagining it makes him move to grab her, scrambling over the bed until she’s giggling under him; putting weight on her before she’s lost, drifting too far from him.
She grins, assuming that Phil’s reaction comes from the impulse to mark his territory, which in a way it is. He’s simply taken by the humiliating notion that he wants every man under his charge to know this is true, for there to not be a single doubt that this woman loves him. The Shadows aren’t like Pete, or his parents, they’re trained to mind the details and pinpoint weaknesses; if they catch even the slightest clue that this is an arrangement , he doesn’t doubt they’ll mock him over the comms channels he has no business being in. Or worse, they’ll pity him.
“Would that make me JFK?”
It’s a joke, but it makes her smile falter. And she drags the pad of her thumb over the scar on his cheek. Staring at him for a second of silence that feels significant in a way he can’t put into words.
“Won’t wear pink, then.”
…
The Shadows are on their best behavior, which in fairness, isn’t strange. Phil isn’t training animals, he’s beating excellence into himself and whoever chooses to trust him with their talent. Besides, this meeting —after his wife’s no pink, no heels, no pearls, entrance— is a smaller affair. Team Leaders only. The men he trusts to make this request of.
“Alright, I know there’s been rumors,” some shadows laugh, some roll their eyes, which Phillip hopes it’s enough to loosen the tension of a dozen well trained, deadly people in a crowded office, no matter how comparatively big it is. “And I’m aware y’all have better things to do than minding my businesses, but I thought I’d bring the missus over to meet you lot.”
His girl shifts behind him, Phil catches it out of the corner of his eye, holding his gaze through the reflection on a window. Deliberate, where she knows he can see her, as intimate as the pinky she brushes against his hand.
“And I want you to get familiar with this pretty face, ‘cause I’m gonna need you to make her top priority, in case anything happens to me.”
Phil waits for a few nods from the shadows, as they collectively watch his wife’s microexpressions. Covertly as their training allows. The way she narrows her eyes at the back of his head, burning a hole through him, her body twisting infinitesimally to better face him; and her subtle point of touch that becomes her full palm against his, so Phillip has the chance to hold on firmly to her hand.
“Vance, you and your team know what to do. The rest of you will receive instructions if necessary.”
The shadows can tell when they’re dismissed, so they break lines with the usual callout, moving in pairs and threes and single file out the door until his office is quiet. And then Phil can turn to see her, waiting for the questions he saw forming across her face in real time but never come.
She just pulls him flush against her, slowly —the gentlest she’s ever been with him—, and she kisses him until he’s tugging at her clothes and panting out her name into the mid summer heat, barely audible under the constant hum of the air conditioning.
#m: cod#r: smut#phillip graves x reader#personal#reader is v much: do you ever make a legally blonde inspired joke to your fake (you love him) husband and realize with stark clarity#that he’s in constant mortal danger? in this
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hi Jen! I've just stumbled across your blog and read some of your posts and you seem like a really cool person, so I hope that you can help me.
I'm fairly young, and I've been pretty comfortable in my butch identity (still very much a baby butch, but I've felt this way for a long time) but I'm worried about my sexuality. See, I've been questioning it for a very long time (I've gone so far as to say I'm Abrosexual with how much it shifts) and I've just decided on not labeling my sexuality besides queer/gay. I was wondering if it was okay to still call myself a butch and not identify as a lesbian? Obviously the answer is different for everyone, but I trust your judgement, Jen.
Thank you for being awesome!! 🖖
You are correct and I think it will depend on who you ask and their experiences, age, regions of the world they live in and their connection /definition of butch, which can vary.
In my lifetime and experiences, butch has been used by lesbians to differentiate how they are perceived as masculine or "different" as opposed to straight women or bi sexual women. It is not to say that I have not seen others use butch, it is just not a word I would apply to someone who is not a lesbian.
My connection with the word butch is solely based on the reality that I am a lesbian and that is and will remain stable and unchangeable. I strongly believe based on my life and the other lesbians I have met and befriended, our sexual orientation does not change BUT our understanding of it does as we learn more about the world and gather more information on how our sexuality fits into the world that tells us being a lesbian is not acceptable or even down right bad.
If I was sitting with you having coffee and chatting i would say if you feel an attachment to butch because you feel a connection to butch lesbians, it is not just the butch part that is resonating with you.
I would also say don't rush, it is okay to be wrong and to be confused about your sexuality and no "butch police" are going to take away your leather wrist band stamped "butch" or tell you you can't use it. Most people don't really give it a thought. However, if you use butch around lesbians be prepared to be assumed lesbian because that is what it will imply to most.
I googled "abrosexual" and it sounds like a word that encompasses the common theme many young lesbians share, being unsure and worried and confused about their sexual orientation. A condition most often brought on by poor media representation, socially produced false information and misunderstanding of the lesbian experience. Basically, most young people who are not straight, and some who are, go thought a time or several times of questioning who they are attracted to.
You are right on track to figuring things out.
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What can I do to shift I have been trying for 6 years and nothing has worked. So what can I do to shift.
Hi! It is important to specify that the journey is different for each person and no one other than ourselves can tell us what to do to shift. In any case, without knowing your journey I can't help but give you some advice.
First of all, if you have never done it, I reiterate how important it is and how helpful it can be to reprogram your mindset in your journey. You can find the post where I talk about it here. Reprogramming your mindset can help both beginners and people who have known shifting for a long time.
Another thing that can help a lot is meditation. Many shifters recommend meditating every day even for a few minutes or during your method. You can find guided meditations specifically for shifting on YouTube.
I recommend trying different methods, giving them time to understand if they are right for you (maybe 1 month) and then moving on to the next. It might be a great idea to create your own method based on own preferences. In fact, let's remember that the method doesn't make us shift, but we do it, and therefore being comfortable with the method we use is very important. For example, if someone has difficulty visualizing, they can try other methods that do not include visualization, and above all, those that make them more confident and at ease.
Try to understand if you have any mental blocks. They are often fears caused by misinformation or binding thoughts, but above all self-confidence. Identifying the problem is always the first step to solving it.
Connect to your DR, in any way you want, and remember not to see it as something imaginary or extraordinary, but on par with this reality and all others. The people inside it they are real, not characters. Above all, by scripting we must know that we are not modifying reality, we are only selecting it.
The way we talk to ourselves about shifting influences us on our journey. I stopped saying "I'm going to try to shift" for two years now. In its place I say "tonight I shift". Not believing in what you are doing and dispersing negativity because we don't have faith in ourselves and in our journey only makes things worse.
Relying on others (as you do in the question you asked me) is wrong if we talk about this topic! Only we can influence our journey, and no one else. Nobody can make us shift. But we are the only ones who can commit because it depends only on us.
Informing yourself about shifting is very important, in fact misinformation only complicates our journey and makes us assume totally wrong beliefs.
Finally, the last thing I would advise you is to commit to your journey. We can't lie in bed and wait for something to happen. We are the ones who have to make it happen. If you need a break, take it, then come back stronger than before.
That's all, I hope I have been helpful, remember that if 6 years have passed it means that you have already done a lot in your journey and you can't go back, but only move forward and improve! Good luck shifter!
#reality shift#shifting#shifttok#shiftblr#shiftinconsciousness#desired reality#harry potter#shifter#shifters#shifting realities#reality shifting#shift#black shifters#reality shifter#shifting antis dni#shifting blog#shifting community#shifting consciousness#shifting diary#shifting methods#shifting motivation#shifting script#shiftingrealities#desired reality shifting#current reality
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If you talk to an ordinary American, or, in my experience, if you talk to an average Israeli, for that matter, they don’t know anything about who the Palestinians are. They don’t know where they come from, they don’t know how they live, what they believe, and they don’t want to. Right? Because that just complicates things… – historian Sam Biagetti.
Last month, The New York Times conducted a series of interviews with a number of American Jewish families and the way they have been dealing with what the paper calls a “generational divide over Israel.”
The Times notes a trend that has been developing for a long time—younger American Jews becoming markedly more critical of, sometimes downright hostile to, Israel than their elders. The piece looks at “more than a dozen young people…[who] described feeling estranged from the version of Jewish identity they were raised with, which was often anchored in pro-Israel education.”
One such person is Louisa Kornblatt. She is the daughter of liberal Jewish parents, who grew up experiencing the cruelties of anti-Semitism in suburban New Jersey. Her grandmother “had fled Austria in 1938, just as the Nazis were taking over.” Partly as a result of this legacy, Louisa Kornblatt “shared her parents’ belief that the safety of Jewish people depended on a Jewish state” as a child.
However, her views began to shift once “she started attending a graduate program in social work at U.C. Berkeley in 2017.” As she recalls it, “classmates and friends challenged her thinking,” with some telling her that she was “on the wrong side of history.”
While in graduate school, “she read Audre Lorde, Mariame Kaba, Ruth Wilson Gilmore and other Black feminist thinkers,” who further made her re-think ingrained assumptions. Eventually, “Kornblatt came to feel that her emotional ties to Jewish statehood undermined her vision for ‘collective liberation.’”
“Over the last year, she became increasingly involved in pro-Palestine activism, including through Jewish Voice for Peace, an anti-Zionist activist group, and the If Not Now movement.” She now goes so far as to assert, “I don’t think the state of Israel should ever have been established,” because “It’s based on this idea of Jewish supremacy. And I’m not on board with that.”
Also interviewed are the parents of Jackson Schwartz, a senior at Columbia University whose education there has significantly altered his outlook on Israel:
“The parents of Mr. Schwartz…said they listen to him with open minds when he tells them about documentaries he has seen or things he has learned from professors like Rashid Khalidi, a prominent Palestinian intellectual who is a professor of modern Arab studies at Columbia. Dan Schwartz said his son helped him understand the Palestinian perspective on Israel’s founding, which was accompanied by a huge displacement of population that Palestinians call the Nakba, using the Arabic word for catastrophe.”
“It wasn’t until Jackson went to Columbia and took classes that I ever heard the word Nakba,” Dan Schwartz said.
These interviews are hugely instructive for two reasons. For one thing, they demonstrate very clearly why power centers are so critical of higher education, especially in the humanities: They are afraid young people might actually—horror of horrors—learn something, particularly something that challenges the status quo.
American culture overflows with accusations from parents that their kids went off to college only to be “indoctrinated.” But at least in these instances, the opposite is what happened—far from being brainwashed, the kids read books and learned history, and were forced to think hard about the implications. In other words, higher education did exactly what it is supposed to do—forced students to encounter and engage with perspectives and thinkers they otherwise never would have.
In reality, most parents (and certainly media outlets) who complain of indoctrination are actually worried about education—that is, that their children will develop more nuanced, critical and informed views of the world after engaging with unfamiliar viewpoints. Such aggrieved elders don’t see it this way, of course, largely because they themselves never shook off the propaganda of their youth. Indeed, they likely are not even capable of perceiving it as such. But that is what it is.
The interviews from the Times piece also demonstrate what Sam Biagetti refers to in the quote that sits atop this article: the phenomenon of older Americans who profess attachment to (and presumably knowledge of) Israel, displaying aggressive—no, fanatic—ignorance about basic Israeli/Middle East history.
That Mr. Schwartz had never heard of the Nakba until his son learned about it from Rashid Khalidi speaks volumes about the way young people in this country are “taught” about Israel, as well as how much their parents actually “know” about it. It is the equivalent of a German father professing fierce attachment to the German nation-state, but never hearing the word “Holocaust” until his child tells him about it after learning the history from a Jewish professor.
The new documentary Israelism explores this issue of younger Jewish people raised to reflexively identify with Israel and to view it as a “Jewish Disneyland,” but who changed their minds (and behavior) upon encountering the brutal realities of the Israeli occupation of the West Bank and Gaza.
It is a powerful film, one that takes a look at the too-often ignored indoctrination regarding Israel taking place in many Jewish day schools, the way younger people are starting to de-program themselves from it, and where they go from there.
Directed by first-time filmmakers Erin Axelman and Sam Eilertsen, Israelism largely follows two protagonists whose experiences mirror those of the filmmakers.
The first protagonist, Eitan (whose last name is never revealed), grew up in a conservative Jewish home in Atlanta. Typical of such an upbringing, he was steeped in pro-Israel PR.
He recounts that “Israel was a central part of everything we did in school.” His high school routinely sent delegations to AIPAC (the American Israel Public Affairs Committee, also known as the “Israel lobby”) conferences.
Outside of school, the PR continued. He describes going to Jewish summer camp, where each year the staff included a group of Israeli counselors, brought in “to connect American Jews to Israeli culture.”
This included having the children playing games designed to simulate being in the Israeli military, including the use of actual Israeli military commands.
The film intersperses interviews of its protagonists with interviews of prominent individuals who promote this Israeli PR.
For instance, Rabbi Bennett Miller, the then-National Chair of the Association of Reform Zionists of America, asks with a laugh, “does [my] average congregant understand that I’m teaching them to become Zionists? Probably not, but it is part of my madness, so to speak.”
Enamored with what he saw as the glory of military service, Eitan told his parents that he was going to join the Israeli military rather than go to college. He had always thought of Israel as “my country,” and learned from numerous childhood visits there that he “fit in” better in Israel than in the United States.
During basic training with the IDF, he was trained as a “heavy machine gunnist” [sic] with an emphasis on urban warfare. After seven months of this, he was deployed to the West Bank. His life in the IDF involved operating the various checkpoints which comprise the apartheid system, as well as patrolling Palestinian villages on foot in full gear with a bulletproof vests. He recounts that on such patrols, the mission of his unit was to make their presence felt, in order “to let them know that we were watching.”
His encounter with the occupation changed him forever. “Even though Israel was a central part of everything we did in school,” he recalls, “we never really discussed the Palestinians. It was presented to us that Israel was basically an empty wasteland when the Jews arrived. ‘There were some Arabs there,’ they said, but there was no organized people; they had really treated the land poorly. Yeah, there are Palestinians, [but] they just want to kill us all…” Furthermore, “It was always presented to us that the Arabs only know terrorism.”
His role as an occupier made him see things rather differently. He witnessed IDF soldiers needlessly abusing captives, who were blindfolded and handcuffed, thrown to the ground, kicked and beaten. He despairs that he “didn’t even speak up,” something he is visibly still struggling with. And, he says, “that’s just one of many stories that I have from my time in the West Bank. It took many years to really come to terms with my part in it. Only after I got out of the army did I begin to realize that the stuff that I did [from] day to day, just working in checkpoints, patrolling villages—that in itself was immoral.”
After great difficulty, Eitan has begun to publicly speak out about his experiences, though he notes that it took a long time, and that on his first attempt, he was not able to make it through without crying excessively. Since then, he has gotten better, and continues to pursue this necessary work.
Israelism’s second protagonist is Simone Zimmerman. Zimmerman’s grandfather settled in Israel; he and his immediate family were some of her only relatives to escape the Holocaust. Zimmerman herself was raised in a staunchly pro-Israel household, attending Hebrew school from kindergarten through high school. While in high school she lived in Israel for a period as part of an exchange program, which was just one of many visits.
These organized stays in Israel routinely involved her and her friends dressing up in Israeli army uniforms and pretending to be in the IDF. She participated in Jewish youth groups and summer camps which, like Eitan, immersed her in a steady diet of pro-Israel propaganda. Summing up her childhood experience, Zimmerman explains that “Israel was just treated like a core part of being a Jew. So, you did prayers, and you did Israel.”
Like Eitan, she was familiar with AIPAC: “AIPAC is just the thing that you do. Like, going to the AIPAC conference is just sort of seen as a community event.” Perhaps unsurprisingly, almost ten percent of her high school graduating class ended up joining the Israeli army, and many of her summer camp and youth group friends did as well. This is the power of effective propaganda instilled from a young age, Zimmerman observes. “The indoctrination is so severe, it’s almost hard to have a conversation about it. It’s heartbreaking.”
Israelism contains footage of this indoctrination in action inside Hebrew schools.
Scenes of teachers excitedly asking classes of young children, “do you want to go to Israel too?” and the children screaming back, “YEAH!!!” are reminiscent of the similarly nauseating kinds of religious indoctrination made famous in an earlier era by films like Jesus Camp.
Some of these scenes can be glimpsed in the trailer for the film. Older students are seen reading copies of Alan Dershowitz’s book The Case for Israel, which was famously exposed as a fraud by Norman Finkelstein years ago. Zimmerman herself gets to look at some of her old worksheets and art projects from her elementary school days, all of which in some way revolved around the Israeli state.
Other than enlisting in the IDF, Zimmerman had been told that the other major way to be “a good supporter of the Jewish people” was to become an “Israel advocate.” Choosing the latter path, Zimmerman became involved with Hillel, the largest Jewish campus organization in the world, when she began attending the University of California at Berkeley. Hillel, too, worked very hard to instill pro-Israel beliefs in her. She describes being trained in how to rebut “the ‘lies’ that other people [were] saying” about Israel.
The film explores the nature of Hillel’s work fostering pro-Israel activism at college campuses across the country. Tom Barkan, a former IDF soldier and “Israel fellow” at the University of Connecticut’s Hillel chapter, says, “name a university in America, we probably have a person there.” Barkan’s mission is to turn Jewish college students into either Israel advocates or military recruits. While he warns eager students that joining the IDF will not be easy, he wistfully tells them that it will be “the most meaningful experience that you ever go through.”
Former Jewish day school teacher Jacqui Schulefand works with Barkan in her role as Director of Engagement and Programs at UConn’s Hillel branch. Her love for the State of Israel is inseparable from her identity as a Jewish person, which she proudly explains. “Can you separate Israel and Judaism? I don’t know—I can’t. You know, some people I think can. To me, it’s the same. Yeah, you can’t separate it. Israel is Judaism and Judaism is Israel. And that is who I am, and that is my identity. And I think every single thing that I experienced along my life has melded into that, like there was never, you know, a divide for me.”
Schulefand describes joining the Israeli armed forces as “the greatest gift you can give,” and notes that “we actually have had quite a few of our former students join the IDF—amazing!” But her demeanor sours when she is asked about criticisms of the country. In a tone combining incomprehension with a hint of disgust, she laments that “somehow, ‘pro-Palestinian’ has become ‘pro-social justice.’”
It was this sort of pro-Israel advocacy network that organized Simone Zimmerman and other students to oppose what they perceived to be “anti-Semitic” activities such as student government legislation favoring the Boycott, Divestment, and Sanctions (BDS) movement against Israeli occupation, and other measures critical of Israel.
To prepare for such confrontations, she was handed talking points that told her what to say—accuse critics of being anti-Semitic, of having a double standard, of making Jewish students feel unsafe, etc. Describing her feelings about BDS and the Palestinian cause at the time, Zimmerman says that “I just knew that it was this bad thing that I had to fight.” She remembers literally reading off the cards when it came time for her to make the case for Israel.
However, such work inevitably brought her into contact with people who challenged her views. She encountered terms like apartheid, ethnic cleansing, and illegal occupation. “I thought I knew so much about Israel, but I didn’t really know what anybody was talking about when they were talking about all these things,” she said.
Growing up, she was barely taught anything about Palestinians, much like Eitan: “The idea that there were native inhabitants who lived there [when settlers began to arrive] was not even part of my frame of reference.”[1] To the extent that her upbringing provided her with any conception of what a Palestinian was, it was that a Palestinian was someone “who kills Jews, or wants to kill Jews.” But now she was dealing with actual Palestinian students and their non-Palestinian allies, who told her things she found alarming.
Zimmerman went back to Hillel, embarrassed that she and the other pro-Israel advocates were not doing a good job refuting the information they had been confronted with. When Zimmerman asked what the proper responses were to specific criticisms directed at Israel—other than shouting “double standard” or “anti-Semitic”—no one provided her with any. “That was really disturbing for me,” she says. She was flabbergasted that “there are these people called Palestinians who think that Israel wields all this power over their lives and don’t have rights, don’t have water. What is this? How do I respond to it?” “How is it that I am the best the Jewish community has to offer—I’ve been to all the trainings, all the summer camps—and I don’t know what the settlements are, or what the occupation is?”
This anguish led Zimmerman to see the occupation for herself, the summer after her freshman year. This was her first time “crossing the line” into the West Bank. The film movingly details her experiences there. She listened to Palestinian families describe routine instances of being beaten by the IDF, and the harsh realities of life under military rule.
She befriends Sami Awad, Executive Director of the Holy Land Trust, who works to give Americans tours of the territory. An American citizen born in the U.S., Awad describes encounters with American kids who have joined the IDF, people “who just moved here to be part of an army to play cowboys and Indians.” He remarks on the absurdity that “Somebody…comes here from New York or from Chicago, and [claims] that this land is theirs.”
Awad’s family was originally from Jerusalem. His grandfather was shot by an Israeli sniper in 1948, and the rest of his family were evicted by Israeli forces soon after during the Nakba. They have never been allowed to return, and have lived under occupation ever since. Nevertheless, Awad is an extraordinarily empathetic person, having made a career out of trying to teach Westerners what life is like in the West Bank, in the hopes that they will use what they learn to effect positive change. He recounts visiting Auschwitz, and says that the experience gave him an insight into “inherited trauma” and how it shapes the conflict today. In the film he comes across as optimistic:
“I really believe that there is an emerging awakening within the American Jewish community…From American Jews, coming here, and listening to us, and hearing us, and seeing our humanity, and understanding that we are not just out sitting in bunkers, planning the next attack against Israelis, that we do have a desire to live in peace, and to have our freedom, and to walk in our streets, and to eat in our restaurants, and like we – I mean it’s crazy that I have to say this, that we are real human beings that just want to survive and live, like all other people in this world.”
Zimmerman also meets Baha Hilo, an English speaker who works as a tour guide with To Be There, another group that helps people understand the reality that Israel imposes on the West Bank. His family was expelled from Jaffa in 1948 during the Nakba. They were forced to settle in Bethlehem, sadly believing that they would eventually be able to return to their homes.
Hilo discusses his frustration that Israelis get to live under civil law, whereas Palestinians like him must live under the humiliating military law of the occupation: “When an American goes to the West Bank, he has more rights there than I have had my entire life!” The film takes care to note that Americans play a major role in such realities: “Of the roughly 450,000 [illegal] Israeli settlers living in the occupied West Bank, 60,000 are American Jews.” Some readers may recall the famous viral video of an Israeli named Yakub unashamedly stealing Palestinian homes while conveying a breathtaking sense of entitlement.
Hilo laments that, “From the day you are born, you live day in and day out without experiencing a day of freedom.” His astonishment at the audacity of Israelis, particularly those who are also Americans, mirrors Awad’s: “What makes an 18-year-old American kid who was given [a] ten days’ trip for free in Palestine, what makes him want to come in and sacrifice his life? Why would a foreigner think it’s ok to have superior rights to the rights of the indigenous population? Because somebody told them it’s [their] home.”
While happy to make such friends, Zimmerman nonetheless says of her time there, “I don’t think I realized the extent to which what I would come to see on the ground would really shock me and horrify me.” This experience often changes people. The filmmaker Rebecca Pierce is interviewed on her own visits to the West Bank, and her reaction is in line with Zimmerman’s. Pierce had always been opposed to using the word “apartheid,” but once she saw the reality of the situation, she changed her mind immediately.
The protagonist of With God on Our Side (a 2010 documentary critical of Christian Zionism), a young man named Christopher, had a similar reaction, specifically at the behavior he witnessed from the Israeli settlers. Each year a group of them converges on the Arab section of Old Jerusalem to celebrate Israel’s capture of East Jerusalem in 1967. Christopher witnessed the festivities, which featured a massive crowd of settlers wrapped in Israeli flags, shouting “death to Arabs” repeatedly as they danced through the streets.
A large group identified an Arab journalist, surrounded him, began chanting at him and flipping him off, to the point where the police had to be called. Christopher was visibly shocked at all this, glumly remarking that he “felt ashamed to be there.” This same celebration is also seen in Israelism, and the Israeli chants are as deranged as ever: “An Arab is a son of a bitch! A Jew is a precious soul!” “Death to the leftists!”
Zimmerman’s experiences led her to become a co-founder of the If Not Now movement, a grassroots Jewish organization which works to end U.S. support for Israel. They have engaged in activism targeting the ADL (more on them in a moment), AIPAC, the headquarters of Birthright Israel, and other organizations which directly contribute to the perpetuation of Israel’s occupation. “We decided to bring the crisis of American Jewish support for Israel to the doorsteps of Jewish institutions to force that conversation in public,” Zimmerman says.
Israelism contains powerful scenes of younger Jewish people engaging in this work. Many come from similar backgrounds as Eitan and Simone. Consider Avner Gvaryahu. Born and raised in Israel, Gvaryahu also joined the IDF. His combat experience ultimately turned him against the occupation. His whole life in Israel, he had never been inside a Palestinian home, but was now being tasked with “barg[ing] into one in the middle of the night.”
By the end of his service, he had routinely taken over Palestinian homes and used them as military facilities. No warrants were needed, and no notice was ever given to the families who were living there. He reflects back “with shame” on how violently he often acted toward the residents in such situations. Gvaryahu is now the Executive Director of Breaking the Silence, an organization of IDF veterans committed to peace.
“There are a lot of Jewish young people who see a Jewish establishment that is racist, that is nationalistic,” Zimmerman explains. Jeremy Ben-Ami, the President of J Street, agrees. “They’re really, really angry about the way they were educated, and the way they were indoctrinated about these issues, and justifiably so.”
While such courageous individuals often receive quite a bit of hatred from their own community (Zimmerman says, “The word I used to hear a lot was ‘self-hating Jew.’ Like, the only way a Jewish person could possibly care about the humanity of Palestinians is if you hate yourself”), their numbers are growing, and one hopes that this will continue. Israelism was released a few months before the terrorist attacks of October 7th and Israel’s genocidal response, events which make the film timely and important.
Since October 7th, we have seen many of the tactics and talking points used to justify Israel’s crimes that the film depicts return with a vengeance. Chief among them is the by-now ubiquitous claim that calling out Israeli atrocities is somehow anti-Semitic.
Zimmerman is anguished that “so many of the purported leaders of our community have been trying to equate the idea of Palestinian rights itself with anti-Semitism.”
This applies to no one more than Abraham “Abe” Foxman, who until his recent retirement was the long-time head of the Anti-Defamation League (ADL), an organization masquerading as a civil rights group but which is really a pro-Israeli government outfit which has long sought to redefine anti-Semitism to include “criticisms of Israel.”
These efforts have borne fruit—“The Trump administration issued an executive order adopting” this definition of anti-Semitism “for the purposes of enforcing federal civil rights law,” Michelle Goldberg notes in The New York Times. Foxman says in the film that “it hurts me for a Jewish kid to stand up there and say ‘justice for the Palestinians,’ and not [say] ‘justice for Israelis’; it troubles me, hurts me, bothers me. It means we failed. We failed in educating, in explaining, et cetera.” Many Israel supporters seem to share Foxman’s horror that Jewish people sometimes care about the well-being of people other than themselves.
Israelism explores this deliberate conflation of anti-Semitism with anti-Zionism. Sarah Anne Minkin, of the Foundation for Middle East Peace, is deeply bothered that “The way we talk about anti-Semitism isn’t about protecting Jews, it’s about protecting Israel. How dangerous is that, at this moment with the rise of anti-Semitism?”
Indeed, the film contains footage of the infamous Unite the Right rally featuring hordes of white supremacists marching through Charlottesville, Virginia, with torches, screaming “Jews. Will not. Replace us!” over and over, as well as news footage of the aftermath of the Tree of Life Synagogue mass shooting.
One of the chief tasks of Israeli propagandists has been to conflate such acts with anti-Zionist sentiment. Genuine anti-Semitism of the Charlottesville variety is (obviously) a product of the far right—recall that President Donald Trump famously referred to “very fine people on both sides” of that incident, an unmistakable wink and nod to such fascist groups.
People who comprise such groups, the type who paint swastikas on Jewish homes, are not the same as peace activists marching to end the Israeli occupation. This should not be difficult to understand. But the Israel PR machine has done a marvelous job confusing otherwise intelligent people on this issue.
Also quoted in the film is Ted Cruz, who like Trump is a regular speaker at AIPAC events, and who like many Republicans pitches his political rhetoric to appeal to the very reactionaries who espouse genuinely anti-Semitic sentiments. This does not stop him from having the audacity to refer to criticisms of Israel as anti-Semitic, shamelessly insisting that “the left has a long history of anti-Semitism.”
The American right wing has been hard at work lately, trying to convince gullible people that the rise of actual anti-Semitic incidents is the result of critics of Israel. The New York Times’s Michelle Goldberg reports that “Chris Rufo, the right-wing activist who whipped up nationwide campaigns against critical race theory and diversity, equity and inclusion initiatives, told me he’s part of a group at the conservative Manhattan Institute workshopping new policy proposals targeting what it sees as campus antisemitism.”
Such efforts apparently convince many liberal-leaning people to agree with UConn Hillel’s Jacqui Schulefand, who as noted above believes that “Israel is Judaism and Judaism is Israel.”
If you believe this, it is understandable how you might come to see criticizing a government’s policies, or the political ideology (Zionism) undergirding them, as anti-Semitic. I do not often profess gratitude for President Biden (indeed, I am really hoping the “Genocide Joe” label sticks), but it was nice to see him publicly state that “You don’t have to be a Jew to be a Zionist. And I’m a Zionist.” This pronouncement clarifies something that the Israel Lobby likes to obscure—that Zionism is a political ideology, like “conservatism,” “socialism” or “libertarianism.”
As such, critiquing it is not racist or anti-Semitic, even if the criticism is inaccurate.
It is always important to consider the ways in which assumptions held uncritically can lead one astray, especially assumptions ingrained from a young age, before people possess the capacity to sufficiently question what they are being told. Israelism is a powerful, thought-provoking film that does this spectacularly. And it does so for a topic that does not get as much attention as it should. Discussions of Christian propaganda are fairly common (again, think of Jesus Camp, or even With God on Our Side), as are denunciations of the kind of Islamic fundamentalist propaganda that comes out of places like Saudi Arabia.
It is almost too easy to go after the Mormons or the Scientologists. But the indoctrination taking place in many Jewish schools gets comparatively little attention. I have written previously of my admiration for people, like Naomi Klein, who frankly discuss the troubling fact that Israeli PR defined much of their early schooling. It is important to have an entire film devoted to the subject. People might not like what they see, but they need to see it.
Israelism is streaming here until January 31st.
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Whumptober day 3- solitary confinement
Continuation of this stupid fic from February lol. This is such a clumsy conclusion and I honestly don’t like it, but the writing itself is… fine. I hope you guys at least enjoy reading it.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Spirit stared at the empty space in front of him. He didn’t know how long he was held captive, the hours blended together and he couldn’t tell if it’d been days, or weeks. He didn’t want the men that kidnapped him to get ahold of Warriors, being bait to get to his friend made him feel sick, but he had to admit that he wanted to be free from this place. He tried to escape several times, but he was always caught, and his restraints got tighter every time. Eventually, he was chained to the wall which connected to his cuffed hands behind his back. His legs were cuffed as well, and his movement was limited. The people holding him hostage barely entered his cell now, only coming in to feed him food. Scar-face and Soft-guy stopped coming by too. They usually visited to try to find some way to communicate, but due to their fruitless efforts, they must’ve decided that it was a waste to even bother. So Spirit was left alone, and he felt like he was losing his mind. He couldn’t get up to move, to entertain himself, nothing.
As time went on, Spirit began praying that someone would come for him. He couldn’t help but feel forgotten, even though it was most likely that the others were trying to find him. But if he was going to be used as bait, why didn’t they come sooner? They should know right where he is, shouldn’t they?
Spirit shook his head. They would not abandon him. They probably don’t know where he is, maybe they went out looking for him before the men holding him hostage could find them. Maybe something held them up…. Maybe they didn’t leave him behind.
Spirit swallowed his dry throat, dread resting in the base of his stomach. He wasn’t necessarily ashamed of needing to be rescued. He knew the importance of teamwork and depending on others. He and Zelda needed each other, he wouldn’t have done the things he’s done if not for her. There was no shame in needing to be rescued, heck, Zelda has saved and protected him more times than he could count. But the heroes didn’t seem to have that type of teamwork, or at least that’s what he assumed. They were all so strong, they were clearly capable of themselves, and though they needed to be saved, it was always because they were in a terrible situation that they couldn’t save themselves. Spirit couldn’t help but feel a little embarrassed over his situation. He assumed that they would come to his rescue, wanting to make sure he was safe, the same way Zelda would act. But maybe he assumed wrong…
Maybe they were embarrassed of him, ashamed that he got caught so easily. Maybe he was too much of a pain to rescue, so they figured they wouldn’t even bother… maybe he would just slow them down.
Spirit shook his head again. They didn’t seem like the type to be upset over someone’s weakness. They were all so nice and protective of each other, he was sure that they wouldn’t abandon him simply because he got kidnapped. But the more he thought about it all, the more he worried about the other’s opinion of him. It got to the point where it was all he could think about since there was no one there to distract him. The silence, the lack of human contact, it was getting to be too much for him. Though Spirit was mute, he loved being around people and hearing what they had to say. Not being around people for however long he was here was unbearable, and it caused him to think too much.
Hours passed and he shifted around, pulling the chains. He was starting to get sick of being chained up and he needed to move, maybe he could try to escape again. But every time he’s been caught his restraints only got tighter, he didn’t want to think about what would happen if he was caught again. He heard the door open and his head shot up, looking at the man who silently set food down in front of him, then left.
Stay. Please stay, he thought, but he just stared at him with pleading eyes until he left. The man didn’t even stay to feed him, Spirit had to eat it off the ground like some animal, which only made things worse. He curled up when he was done, tears prickling at his eyes. He was never going to get out, he was never going to escape, he was going to be stuck here for the rest of his life. He breathed in a sob, crying out for no one to hear.
Spirit didn’t know how long time had passed when he heard another noise. He looked up at the door, trying to breathe quietly so he could hear what was going on. Was he hallucinating? It was silent for a long time, and Spirit shook his head. He was going crazy, he knew it. Being alone for so long was causing him to lose his mind. He shifted and sighed, curling up again.
“Spirit.”
Spirit’s head shot up at the door, hope bursting through his chest.
“Oh sweet goddesses, hang on kid,” he heard a voice from the other side say in relief. The refined accent made Spirit believe that it was Warriors, but he couldn’t be sure. Have they finally found him?
He heard noises on the other side, and he saw Warriors and Windy poking their heads through the door. Spirit couldn’t help the relieved smile when he saw them, and Warriors ran to him, crossing the small cell in seconds. Spirit let out a shocked noise when he was pulled into a tight hug.
“I’m so sorry, Spirit,” Warriors whispered, his voice breaking a little. “I’m so, so sorry. I’m so sorry you were dragged into this mess, goddesses I’m so sorry…”
Spirit stared at the hero in shock as he was wrapped in his arms. Windy walked towards him with a relieved smile as well.
“Are you ok, Spirit?”
Spirit nodded and smiled at him as Warriors let go and started to undo the chains. Spirit let out a sigh of relief as the cuffs were removed and he was able to move his arms, and the two helped him up.
“I’m so sorry it took so long to find you, Spirit,” Warriors muttered, peaking out into the hallway. “Apparently the men who took you couldn’t find me… goddesses I feel horrible…”
“It wasn’t your fault, Warriors,” Windy said firmly, and Spirit nodded, leaning on Warriors’s side, soaking in the human contact that he’s been missing for so long. Warriors wrapped an arm around, giving him another hug, and Spirit felt safe in his embrace. He was no longer alone.
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I am a Multitude
Let's talk about my history with Islam, just for shits and giggles, because I have a funny feeling there's some people in (or outside of) my life who don't fully understand where that association comes from.
I reverted to Islam round about 2009 if I'm not misremembering. Reversion is the same as conversion, it's just that "revert" is a term suggesting everyone is meant to be Islamic from birth and thus someone "converting" is in fact going back to what is the default -- a reversion, if you will. I used the term then, so I'm using the term now.
I had previously been a Kemetic Pagan for about 10 years at that point, with 8 of those years being onward in a formal Kemetic organized religion, though I was a few years out already of having left that organization for the first time.
I did not enter Islam lightly. It was a long process over a couple of years getting to the point where I wanted to revert, and it was quite the tough decision to finally take my Shahada and make that complete step into the faith full-time. I took that step seriously, with a lot of forethought and no impulse, and I really did go in with a complete belief as well.
I was full-on Muslim for 3 - 4 years with no multi-trad tendencies, but slowly my Kemeticism came back to me and I started to mix the two together.
I returned to the Kemetic organized religion around the Kemetic New Year in 2019. Again nothing I did was rushed or impulsive, I had taken quite a bit of time before going back to understand where I was going and why, and I stayed there for about 4 years depending, culminating in the disastrous exit based on that organization's massive failure in just so many areas.
It took me a couple of months, but after I left that organization, I started to realize what a bizarre identity I had built up around myself over the last 4 years: this weird, single-focus, single-tradition identity as if there was nothing about myself that was "other". I only had Kemetic friends, only focused on Kemetic Deities and Kemetic practice, only did Kemetic things, only, only, only... and when I lost that "only" thing in a way (or I separated from what was a large integration in my life over the last 4 years), I felt lost.
For a moment.
Truthfully, on the inside, I was never "only". On the inside, I've always been multi-trad, whether that's my Scottish Folk Magic that has been partially passed down to me (that's a whole other discussion!), my Islamic traditions that I never gave up (no matter how long I was in that Kemetic organization, I never gave up my Salah and several other things as well -- it's just that I never talked about it, because Polytheists and Pagans tend to have chips on their shoulders about the Big 3), my Kemetic traditions -- my heart has always been multi-trad.
I've always made every choice in my life in terms of spirituality with careful study and consideration, and I've always wondered how that ended me up here... but now, I've been enjoying over the last 6 months being able to embrace the facts about myself, and I can be a multitude (at least for now), that no one can put me into a box, and I will continue to explore that no matter what anyone thinks about that.
I am not one thing.
I am many.
And that's ok. Some people will tell me it isn't, and they are what I like to call "wrong".
I have a necklace written in Arabic calligraphy that says "Indeed, I am near". I think that says everything I really need to know about the Divine right now.
I am going to explore this world the way I want to explore it.
#kemetic#kemeticism#islam#islamic#muslim#religion#interfaith#multi-trad#pagan#polytheist#spiritual#spirituality#blog#multitrad#tradition#growth
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Heavy and Medic Switch
Basically, how I view Heavy and Medic’s intimate relationship in a nutshell.
This was sort of based on a post that I heavenly agreed on but I also wanted to put my two cents in here. This is gonna be a long post about my journey with this couple.
https://www.tumblr.com/the-sound-of-progress/719703522999959552/i-just-wanna-say-youre-completely-changing-the?source=share
Let me explain:
There has been a silly little debate about what activities Heavy and Medic do behind closed doors, especially their roles/positions.
On one hand, there’s Team Heavy: he’s big, strong, and intimidating. He can rock your world (as well as your bed). On the other hand, there’s Team Medic: he’s professional, insane, and sadistic. He can take your breath away (as well as your virginity).
Team Heavy has been there since the very beginning since he’s viewed and portrayed as the more “masculine” and “dominating” man. He may know a thing or two about sex (or not since Heavy spent most of his life in the Gulag, idk).
Throughout the years, Team Medic has been sprinkled in from time to time since he may have more experience in this field (or not since he may be focused on his experiments, idk). He’s got a few tricks up his sleeves and may be skilled with techniques.
Anyways, I’ve seen and heard from both sides, so I’ll tell you a thing or two from my experience.
When I first got into TF2 and was interested in HeavyMedic, I assumed that Heavy was like the oldest merc just because of his voice, height, and strength. (I’m stupid to think that’s what it means to be old and how they should be.) I was then wrong to find out that it may be either Spy or Medic (idk which tho). But I thought that it was a pretty interesting dynamic to have a serious, tall younger man and a crazy, shorter older man in a relationship and I think that’s pretty cute.
Now when it came to same-sex relationships in smut art or fanfics, most people prefer the older masculine man to top since it’s more hotter, I guess. Back then, I enjoyed it but whenever I see or read a fanfic where it’s the opposite, I love it even more and I wasn’t sure why. Is it because the dominant one gets a taste of his own medicine or is it because I enjoy the reactions he gives or even both? I thought it was because the younger one finally gets to have a go at it. And ever since then, I clinged on to it and preferred it even more than the norm or majority.
And like I said, when I got into HeavyMedic, I was Team Medic, because I thought that Heavy is older and I wanted Medic to top (until I realized I was stupid). Ok, Heavy is younger and topping Medic so that means I enjoy it, right? Well... yes and no. Yes, because it was interesting to read and I enjoyed reading it, and no, because... well... I hate to say this but...
It just gets repetitive.
I then ask myself, “What’s wrong? Why don’t I enjoy it as much as I used to anymore?” Is it because Heavy is bigger? Stronger? More masculine? Just what is it? Or is it because Medic is my main and my favorite character (Heavy’s my second favorite character, btw so aww) and I want him to have a piece of Heavy’s cake for once? Or maybe I’m just biased, I guess, idk. That could be the case until I read some fanfics that contains Medic and another person (let’s say Engie since I like the pairing tho not as much as HeavyMedic) and I noticed something different. Sometimes Medic tops and sometimes he bottoms (tho it depends on the person he’s paired with so results may vary). Now tbh, I never read a fanfic where someone else is paired with Heavy since I didn’t know who else was perfect for him so please prove me wrong when I say this but...
What are the chances/percentages that Heavy bottoms?
Most of the time, it’s pretty rare and look, I get it, I completely understand. He’s an impressive specimen. Who wouldn’t want Heavy to fuck them? Hell, I would too, tbh. But see that’s the thing. We all want Heavy to do something for us but we never considered doing something for him.
I read some Bottom Heavy fanfics where Heavy even expresses this issue and I sympathized with him for it. So whenever Medic (in this case) is there for him and does the deed, it leaves me in a good mood. And because of that, I was Team Medic (also like I said before, I just want to see Heavy’s reactions and eat it up as much as possible and, well, Medic is hot when he’s dominating him). Also, “Heavy and Medic Get It On” is an old-time classic and I love it.
Also, just because Medic is shorter or less muscular, that doesn’t mean that he should be portrayed as the more weaker or submissive one. The same goes for Heavy, just because Heavy is taller and more muscular, that doesn’t mean that he should be portrayed as the more stronger or dominant one. Let them both have a fair share of fun.
I then realized that a majority of my favorite HeavyMedic smut fics were Bottom Heavy based and again I ask myself, “Why do I enjoy it more than the majority of fanfics? Just what is it?” Until I realized something, I put all the pieces together. “Dominant one bottoming” “Majority” “Repetitive” “Chance/Percentages of bottoming” I soon came to this conclusion.
The reason I love Bottom Heavy so much is because it stands out more than other smut fanfics.
It just made so much sense to me now. And not just Heavy but other fanfics where the top bottoms. It was a breath of fresh air for me. And I don’t want to diss top Heavy but as I said before, it just gets repetitive to the point where that’s the norm and it gets a little boring. When I read it, I know what’s coming up so I know what to expect from it. So when I read one where Heavy bottoms all of a sudden, it just catches me off guard, leaving me surprised and yet impressed by it. And it leaves me wanting more.
And like I said before, I like Top Medic since it’s nice for a change and while there have been Top Medic fics sprinkled throughout the years I noticed that it’s slowly increasing in popularity and I’m happy that other people seem to like it as well.
However, just because I would love to see an increase of Top Medic fics, that doesn’t mean that I want Top Heavy to stop, slow, or die out. I’m not saying I hate it, don’t get it the wrong way or anything. I still love Top Heavy and I love how they interact especially their reactions (mostly Medic’s). I just want Medic to get a piece of that action, y’know? He may be old but that doesn’t mean he has no spark of energy in him anymore. He could become a beast if he wanted to. Let the old man have a go at it.
Also, because it’s just a silly little debate, I don’t want people to fight over who tops and who bottoms. That’s the last thing I want to cause. Besides, there are people who don’t like reading smut fics with them in it and that’s also fine. Not everything needs to be related to sex in a relationship especially theirs. It’s called having a normal life and enjoying it. I love reading fluff fics where there’s a strangers-to-friends, slow burn, friends-to-lovers, confession, dating, one bed/ sharing a bed, acting like a couple, being a couple, marriage proposal, wedding, couple life with or without a kid, and sadly even death/afterlife whether it takes place during or after the Gravel Wars. And of course, I LOVE reading stories where Heavy and Medic are just chatting and laughing in the infirmary during surgery (with Archimedes there, of course). This post is just focusing on when they’re in the bedroom. We are all different people with different headcanons. You got yours, I got mines. I don’t have to agree with yours and you don’t have to agree with mines. Alright? But I found out a little solution that may or may not solve this little problem and it’s much rarer than Top Medic/Bottom Heavy (just know that this isn’t the ultimate solution, but rather a small suggestion).
Switch/Versatile
What is this and what does this mean? Please correct me if I’m wrong or make a mistake. These two words may mean the same thing but just like how top/bottom and dominant/submissive compare, it’s different. Switch means you can either be dominant or submissive depending on the mood and versatile means you like to top and bottom. Most of the time when I forget, I just simplify both to switch to make it easy to understand.
I’ve read at least 3 smut fanfics where Heavy and Medic tend to switch roles and positions in the same chapter or story and tbh, I really liked them. Not as much as Top Medic but I really enjoyed reading them and just like Bottom Heavy it was a breath of fresh air, became some of my favorite HeavyMedic smut fics, and I would love to see an increase of it too.
Let’s wrap things up now.
At the end of the day, if you were to ask me which team I’d prefer, I’d still say Team Medic, BUT I’m starting to lean more towards HeavyMedic switches. This is a copy-paste to when I replied to a random HeavyMedic post, but here’s why I love it.
“I see Heavy and Medic as good 'ol switches since they see each other as equal whether on or off the battlefield. HeavyMedic switches are also very rare in smut fics. In the beginning, Heavy says, "Get behind me, Doktor!" and ever since MvM, Medic also says, "Get behind me!" They fight together, help each other, heal each other, and make each other laugh so technically they should also please each other in bed.”
Also, it’s fun to read about what kind of whacky adventures they do together. They are both different beings who do different jobs and hobbies. One’s a heavy-lifter and one’s a doctor. Think of the many kinds of possibilities they could do to each other depending on the variety of settings to have full-on make-out sessions. It’s fun to get creative.
Technically if you really want to think about it, which team am I in?
Well, it’s a lovely, beautiful, sweet, short, simple answer that really means a lot to me that really brings it all together in the end.
I’m Team HeavyMedic.
Thank you for reading if you’ve made it this far in the end. I didn’t think I would write this much so I apologize if this post is long. If there’s anything you need to say like an opinion or statement, make sure to reply down below. Just remember to not start a fight, please. We all have different opinions.
Also, while we’re at it, someone once asked me if I have any Bottom Heavy fanfic suggestions and I in fact do! But it’s gonna take me a while to make a list of it and there are probably some fics that I missed so it would really mean a lot to me if you can help me by linking suggestions. It doesn’t have to be just Bottom Heavy, you can also include HeavyMedic switches. (Also, if you’re an author or writer, you can tag top/bottom/switches Heavy/Medic so some people can read based on what they want to see since people have different headcanons, but you also don’t have to so you can surprise the readers and I quite like the idea of it, but of course the choice is yours). And the links can be from any fanfic site. I found most on AO3 (I may have missed some so please help me) and I recently found some here on Tumblr so the possibilities are endless. Once I have everything I need, I’ll post it and I’ll probably pin it for some time. If I miss anything, be sure to message me or reply so that I can update the list.
That’s all I have to say. Thank you and goodbye!
#tf2 medic#tf2 heavy#heavymedic#red oktoberfest#suggestive#nsft#text post#TF2#Team Fortress 2#TF2 Fanart#TF2 Art
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Okay, I love how you write Yumichika and Ikkaku, they're so like, comfortable and, not quite co-dependent, but something like that but healthier ?? I love them. BECAUSE of this, it makes me think violently about the Yumichikia Zanpaukto Reveal, the one where he's like Oh God I've Got A Kido Zanpakuto, I'm Going to Be Hated, because i love that fic trope ?? idea ??? so so much, and I've seen many from it, but I ! want to know how you think it would go ? because based on the relationship that they have, it's like ! It wouldn't break them apart obvi, but they trust each other a Lot, and, tbh, i don't think it's gonna be the zanpakuto being kido that's the problem but that Yumichika thought he couldn't trust Ikkaku with it, when Ikkaku trusts him with something of equivalent nature (his bankai's existence) ?
i dunno i just like my guys and want more thoughts of them and like your world building so. sits in your inbox quietly aslkdjfaskdfj
So, uh, the thing is, I think Ikkaku knows.
Long-ass explanation with many pictures under the cut
Let's start out by looking at the two scenes where Yumichika beats people up with his shikai and then swears them to secrecy.
First, Hisagi:
And secondly, Charlotte:
There are a couple of things to note here:
He pointedly uses "we" to refer to Eleventh Company.
He doesn't say it's wrong to have a kidou-based zanpakutou, he says it's wrong to use it.
The speech is almost the word-for-word the same, both times. Almost like it's practiced.
He doesn't seem scared or nervous or desperate. He's cheeky. "Ha ha," he says, "I beat you using this sad, weak, little kidou move that I'm ashamed of. Gross, right?"
As an addition to 4, consider that this isn't even the only misdirection Yumichika uses. Let's back up a little in the Hisagi fight:
He also pulls this schtick where he's publicly the Fifth Seat, except there is no Fourth Seat.
[An aside: it's interesting that he tells Hisagi that another of the principles of the Eleventh is that it's better to go down swinging than to surrender. So, assuming that his zanpakutou is permitted, as long as he uses it as a pointy thing and not as a reishi-sucker, that puts him in a Catch-22-- when the chips are down, does he go down, even though he has a secret trump card, or does he use his shameful kidou attack? The evidence suggests that he values fighting to the bitter end, even at the risk of exposing himself.
This is particularly interesting because Ikkaku himself is in the same situation with regards to his bankai, and as we see in the fight for the pillars, he makes the opposite decision. ]
So what gives?
The fact is, Yumichika doesn't belong in the Eleventh. I just made the point that he's a fake Fourth Seat, in a scene where he takes down a vice-captain, even with a terrible relationship with zanpakutou (and he probably doesn't get as much practice with them as he should, either). Not only does he have to worry about Zaraki kicking him out if his powers were publicly known, but Yamamoto would probably jerk him out of Squad 11 and make him go to a captain who would make him work to his full potential.
But he wants to be in Squad 11. He wants to be with Ikkaku. So not only does he follow the rules, he vocally enforces them.
There is a lot about Yumichika as a character that is a metaphor for homosexuality (and often not in a very nice way), and he's very much in a don't-ask-don't-tell situation here. It's not just in an official, he'll-get-kicked-out-of-Squad 11 sense, but I think that he doesn't talk about his kidou zanpakutou and Ikkaku pretends not to see it, and they live in harmony. The reason he swears people to secrecy is not because he doesn't want Ikkaku to know, it's because if someone confronted Ikkaku or Zaraki about it, they would be forced to take action about it or have some sort of response to it.
I don't actually have any evidence that Ikkaku knows, this is just how I feel in my heart. I am not going to tell anyone how to enjoy a romance, but to me, the essence of a shinigami partnership is knowing each other. I like this in all kinds of romances, tbh, but Bleach has all these additional metaphors-made-spirit flesh, in terms of fighting with an expression of your soul. If I could accept the idea that Ikkaku somehow doesn't know that Yumichika has hidden talents, even if he doesn't know the scope of them, their love story falls apart for me.
There are certain kinds of lying in relationships that is truly unforgivable: questions of fidelity, financial stuff, etc. But there is also a different kind of lying that both parties are aware of and allow the fiction to persist, because it's important to one of them, or it keeps the relationship together or it's just nice. As a counterexample, you will occasionally see a particular flavor of Gross Dude on r/RedPill who finds out what his girlfriend looks like out of her make-up and is absolutely incensed about it. Yumichika's secret is a little more intense than make-up, but the idea is that he wants to present himself as a Squad Eleven Guy with a Melee Zanpakutou and Ikkaku says "Sure, pal, of course" even though it's obviously untrue. Like, super obviously untrue.
Now, does Zaraki know? That's a different story. I am personally of the opinion that Zaraki prefers to take the things people tell him at face value, and also that he's dumb as a bag of rocks, so I think it's highly possible that Yumichika actually is pulling one over on him, especially because Ikkaku says Yumichika has a melee-zanpakutou, and who would know better than Ikkaku? For people who prefer a smarter Zaraki, I can still see him figuring that as long as Yumichika plays by the rules and can hang with the crew, who cares, right?
The other problem with Yumichika's zanpakutou, though, is that it's strong. It's real strong. If you're comparing the rank-and-file, yeah, an unseated officer from the Eleventh is better than an unseated officer of nearly any other squad. On the other hand, every other super-strong character in Bleach uses kidou or has some kidou-related zanpakutou technique. @troius pointed out that kidou proved to be incredibly effective against Arrancar during the Winter War, particularly for the mid-strength, Vice-Captain level characters. Renji is famously bad at kidou (altho this is exaggerated in the anime), and yet has saved his own ass with it on multiple occasions. Iba, an alumni of Squad 11, lectures Ikkaku that he should be more well-rounded. The problem is that Zaraki, who made up the dumb Squad 11 rules, may be the strongest guy in Soul Society, but he's also a tremendous outlier. It's all well and good if he wants to wear a reiatsu-sucking eyepatch, but the fact is, the Squad 11 rules make them weaker.
I think it's a pretty common headcanon that when they met, Ikkaku was significantly stronger than Yumichika. I'm...not sure that's still true. That, to me, is the the meatier conflict of Yumichika keeping his powers secret. Ikkaku's strength is so, so important to him. Would Ikkaku still love him if Yumichika were the stronger one? Further, if Yumichika flaunted his powers, would it break the entire illusion of The Squad 11 Way?
So, you asked how I think it would go, and the answer is that a) I think it happened during the 17-mo timeskip and b) it was more of wider ranging conversation about facing certain truths and living more authentically to themselves, and c) we have to do this, for the pride of Squad 11, all of the other vice captains are nerds and if we don't up our game they are going to surpass us and that is unacceptable.
Bleach is not a romance manga, so we didn't get to see any of this on-panel, but I think there is strong evidence that they got it figured out.
#yumichika ayasegawa#ikkaku madarame#ikkayumi#they are married your honor#shout out to tumblr's autosave feature#i crashed the editor when i was *very close to the end* of writing this and i hadn't manually saved in a while#but thankfully a tumblr function functioned for once
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I haven't even started the lvl 89 Endwalker MSQ and I'm thinking about how annoying certain opinions around it are.
It's annoying me and I don't want it to distract me in my playthrough, so I'm just going to air it out via this post.
The story really clearly foreshadows what happens. In fact, it directly tells you.
But it is fairly common for people to call twists that are pretty directly foreshadowed still out of nowhere. (And of course, a text can be read in many different ways.)
And I think regardless of any of this, people still don't have to like what happens!
But I've talked about this a bunch regarding other pieces of media, and at this point, nerd criticism is so obnoxious to me because it's often so much more about telling other people how much smarter you are than the writers or the people who like their writing.
I'm not interested in listening you putting yourself on a pedestal and telling me how smart you are.
It's such a boring way to engage with art/writing to me.
In fact, it isn't even about the art, but a shitbag telling me how they would be above any of this kind of "mistakes" in their writing.
This talking point just reminds me of my most smart alec, know-it-all late teens/early twenties moments that have an air of arrogant ignorance to it. Where the criticism absolutely can have its basis, but there might be elements to the narrative decision that have issues in their own right.
It feels like certain storytelling tropes have become "taboos" regardless of how they're executed because of the perception of storytelling "rules"/"basics" being "broken", when in truth those have always been just "guidelines" and even the best-told stories probably have these "flaws" in there somewhere if you look hard enough.
If a major part of the enjoyment of a story for you depends on how many characters die and you obsessively count on your fingers who lived through impossible odds and who didn't, Final Fantasy 14 was probably never a story for you.
I say all of this as someone who at this point has seen The Endwalk probably dozens and dozens of times via playthroughs and cried at it almost every time.
(It's gonna be great for me when I get to it, I can tell!)
Because I find it incredibly meaningful regardless of any issues I might have with it.
To engage that critical mind for a second, if nothing else, I think the story absolutely does need to drop the fake death trope it likes so much, and firmly decide on the characters it kills and that alone would go a long way to reinstill a stronger sense of base tension.
In fact, I do agree that actually killing any of the long-term main characters might need to happen. (And it might need to be staged in a super unexpected way, at that.)
I just do not think Endwalker was the place to do it considering what it is about.
The obvious "hopeful" framing to everyone dying and you alone surviving would be for you to carry on their legacy/work, and the patches then would be finding new connections, but pulling this off could also send the opposite message and come across as amatuerish shock value.
Hey, life is suffering and a path for you to find the good in the bad, so guess what everyone you ever loved dies after everything they've been through!
But there is hope, though!
It looks "ballsy" to kill everyone on the surface, but actually might just thematically fly in the face of the entire story.
All of these characters that have suffered loss and much pain in their own right, yeah, all they get is death in the end!
But there is hope, though!
It's the second point that gets me the most. It would've felt so hateful to me (and it often wished for in such an hateful manner by those who wanted it to happen), especially for like G'raha who was stuck in a tower for a hundred years.
And just a single or few characters dying would feel wrong in a very specific "shock value" way, too.
Why those characters specifically?
That's not what FF14 ever was to me, not even in HW, the section of the story that had the most major deaths.
I think Thancred dying in ShB would'be been perfect, for example.
Main character, paving the way to another character after making peace with his situation with Minfilia.
Would've pretty automatically fixed the general tension issue, too, I think.
But in EW? I think the losses everyone already experienced and the suffering we saw across the entire game from ARR-EW are enough to make the point.
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I can’t shake the dissatisfaction I feel about the way Luz’s experience in the boiling isles was handled. I know it’s mostly because it was shameless escapism and her running away from her life in the human realm, but like I found it hard to actually buy that she was completely miserable there.
Like I left the show feeling like she really didn’t have a terrible life and was just living in a fantasy. And that’s…not fun to me. Also, is it just me or does it feel like Camila got the short end of the stick? Either they left out some details about their relationship (which would shine light on Luz’s unhappiness) or she was a great mom and luz was ungrateful and wrong for lying.
Either way, it leaves a bad taste in my mouth about Luz as a main character, and I guess I just really really wanted more out of her character as a woc who’s also neurodivergent. :/ does this make any sense? Or is it just that she wasn’t the character for me?
So I could do multiple posts about this, ranging from how she represents nuerodivergents, her relationship with her mom, how she's represented as someone who doesn't fit in, etc. like that so please feel free to ask those things. However, for this I want to go in hard on the fact that I've been lukewarm to Luz in the past on her archtype as a main character but your last part makes me really want to talk about the role of a main character and how Luz... Fails. Entirely. Like I've said Luz is a fine protagonist but that's only on paper. In execution, for the narrative role of a protagonist...
Well, a main character can be divided into having three main roles. Depending on the style of story, the type of protagonist they are, etc. like that there will be different levels of each of these three pillars. They are, in my eyes:
Catalyst: How good is the character at making a story happen? A main character after all is going to be around for most of the story so they need to be capable of facilitating the amount of stories that happen with them. A shounen protagonist needs to be both strong enough to go on a grand adventure after all but not so strong as to not be able to have arcs and what not of him gaining new powers.
Guide: This is the main character's ability to show us the world and the stories within it. If the catalyst is the amount they could tell stories by themselves, this is how good they are at being a part of stories around them. This is actually why harem protagonists are such wet rags usually so they're willing to go to the beach, gym, graveyard, sci-fi workshop and class all in the same day so long as a girl is telling them to because they have so little character as to be able to do ANYTHING.
Core: How well do they represent and embody the themes of a piece? How much can people reflect off of them in order to show different facets of the main concept? This one is a lot trickier to pin down because what works for a specific theme is going to shift depending on a writer's goals but for some one you have how Light from Death Note has a god complex because that story theoretically deals with abuse of power and what one would do for it, what they would do once they had it and the lengths they would go to to keep it. Light being willing to go so far and be so entirely obsessed with power and what he sees as 'right' allows others to show their own ideologies of right and wrong use of power simply by challenging or supporting him.
And mind you that the quality of the writer does matter with these three pillars. A character can be incredibly strong in one of these by their concept but if the execution is flawed, how strong the base was doesn't matter. I bring this up because Luz... Is theoretically pretty good for these but in execution is awful in all three pillars.
The first one is the most tragic. She is a nuerodivergent, WoC who is even a part of the LGBTQIA+. Just by those three alone, she has a lot of stories that are only now starting to be told properly in media, such as Molly McGee tackling a basic woman's story of periods. There's a reason why a lot of people stand by Luz just for what she is.
Unfortunately, the writers did not. Frankly, swap her for a nerdy, white dude and I don't think much changes. Her heritage has nothing to do with the story, her being female only affects the representation in that it's two girls getting together in a romance that is frankly very normal for 'energetic boy and serious girl' and her nuerodivergence is officially non-canon now. It was only confirmed in interviews after all and Dana has said that anything outside of the show is just her own headcanons and are as valid as anyone else's. Even then, much of what makes her theoretically ADHD is also just pretty normal for main characters, let alone her archtype and never shows any of the non narratively useful elements of it.
This is all without getting into how her excitement for fantasy, magic and community should have made her both a great catalyst and guide. However, her journey with magic has no bearing on her, it's barely explored and... So is the Isles. Admittedly, the Isles has very little to show. It's a world where most of the stories are pretty rote and played out because it's just not a creative setting so even if Luz is eager, there's nothing to show.
Worse yet, the supporting cast of the show doesn't give her a lot to work with either. A lot of their stories are either abandoned or put on hold for so long that there's no longer interest in them. Worse yet, Luz has no interest in those stories, making it so that for a lot of characters, including Eda actually because the two spend a SHOCKINGLY low amount of time together, she just isn't around. She literally only ever seeks out Gus for a library card and NEVER seeks out Willow of her own volition. That's pretty shitty to put it mildly.
How about her being the core of the story? She's in plenty of it... But the show has little to no core. If it's fantasy versus reality, Luz is the one that pushes the hardest to play into tropes and to over exaggerate everything because she sees herself as the hero of the story and it isn't long until everyone just agrees with this fact. Worse yet, there's little exploration of it and the ending leans entirely on fantasy being the correct choice. Period.
If it's about finding a place and community where you belong, Luz doesn't show enough care about her community and EVERYTHING we're shown about her history doesn't make her appear like she didn't belong but that she was a genuine menace who honestly was pretty callous about other people. You have to be a special sort of messed up to get a classroom cleared by releasing spiders and then turn around and go "You know, I bet they'll love snakes." If Luz is not accepted, it is because Luz does not try and we have proof of that in the show because Vee exists and that's the whole point of Yesterday's Lie.
This all makes for a main character who on paper is great and who's only real flaw as a main character is that nerdy, teenage idiot has been done before but never as a bisexual, afro-latino girl. For a lot of people, that's not a problem but a feature because the archtype is so ubiquitous for a reason. Amphibia used it to GREAT effect and it is a solid base for a coming of age story.
In execution, the show is never willing to let Luz be... anything. She vaguely gestures at a lot of things but never commits enough to feel like any of them are her cores. She's too selfish and too self isolating to be a normal good girl. Her interests come up too sporadically and inform her actions, especially positively, too rarely for her being a nerd to feel like anything but fanservice. She's not allowed to make major mistakes, not in the writer's eyes as many of her mistakes and fuck ups are not supposed to be seen that way or excused *gestures at Reaching Out* so she can't be an idiot who needs to grow. And as I said before, her being an afro-latino, bisexual girl with ADHD never comes up beyond getting with a girl and they don't really do much with that because TOH isn't a romance story.
It makes Luz in general feel like a complete waste of a character which is fitting. She's the main character to a complete waste of a show that never managed to choose a firm identity for itself and so never gained one. And something lacking that much personality simply isn't going to be interesting.
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I have a public Discord for any and all who want to join!
I also have an Amazon page for all of my original works in various forms of character focused romances from cute, teenage romance to erotica series of my past.
I have an Ao3 for my fanfiction projects as well if that catches your fancy instead,
If you want to hang out with me, I stream from time to time and love to chat with chat.
And finally a Twitter you can follow too!
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Ship of the Day: BlackBonnet
Names: Edward Teach and Stede Bonnet
Ship Name(s): BlackBonnet
Original Content: Our Flag Means Death
THIS COVERS SEASON 1 ONLY SO PLEASE (if you comment) DO NOT COMMENT SPOILERS PLEASE! THANK YOU!
Ship Info:
Now it's time for our most important topic (in my opinion). Gay pirates.
Our Flag Means Death first graced our TV screens in 2022 with a second season following shortly after in 2023 (this blog will only cover the 1st season so please don't spoil anything!). This series is rich with people who we would recognise in the time when pirates roamed the earth such as Israel "Izzy" Hands, Calico Jack, Jim (who is based on multiple real-life pirates) and so on. The actual title of the show could also be a reference to this time due to the dangers and risks associated with piracy, where engaging in pirate activities often led to a perilous fate depending on who you ran (or sailed) into. But the two main pirates of the show are the real reason I'm writing our blog, so let's get on with it!
'Gentleman Pirate', Stede Bonnet, is an inexperienced pirate who used to be an Englishman during the 18th century. He lacked experience yet somehow managed to find himself as the Captain of his own ship known as 'The Revenger'. 'Blackbeard', Edward Teach, is a notorious pirate who also sailed the seas during the 18th century. He was known for his fearsome appearance, long black beard, having multiple weapons strapped to his body as well as being in command of a fleet of ships. The odds of these two meetings seem pretty slim right? WRONG! The two do meet. And have a hell of an adventure that sends them both (and the audience) on an emotional rollercoaster.
Although I would love to dissect every single scene that could have led audiences shipping these two, I have limited it to several to save time for myself and for those of you who are reading.
The first scene I would like to introduce comes from the first season where Edward (Blackbeard) had been staying on the Revenge, teaching Stede how to become a more fearsome pirate while in return Stede taught him about higher society. Already the two represent being people the other person dreamt of being, already creating a connection of respect in some cases. After being insulted by the captain of a ship they had just raided, we are given a glimpse into Edward's backstory after he pulls out some red handkerchief his mother had given him. Attached to this handkerchief is a memory that has followed Edward for years of his mother telling him when he was a child that 'they were not the kinds of people that got to have fine things'. Additionally, on the captured ship an invitation to a high-society party is found, and we see Edward desperately wanting to attend. While at this party he takes on the identity of 'Jeff the Accountant' and entertains the aristocracy. But things turn sour when he fails to remember the correct utensils to use at dinner, causing the aristocracy to start laughing at him and no longer with him. Stede handles the situation by starting a brawl amongst the aristocrats, leading to the boat catching on fire. Now we get to the main bit of this section, as Edward removes the red handkerchief from his shirt and reminisces about what his mother had said to him we see Stede come up to him. He takes the red handkerchief, folds it into a rose and places it into Edward's breast pocket, telling him that 'he wore fine things well', leading to a moment of silence before the two walked away from each other (not without a glimpse back though). To some of the fanbase, the red handkerchief could be a personification of Edward's heart. He views it as a 'tatty old thing' that he should hide since he doesn't think it suits him to have a heart. He might think it's weak to have one since it could lead to him being hurt in a place he cannot heal. We first see him hiding the fabric, embarrassed to show Stede. This could also be because he views Stede as the 'fine thing' that he cannot have. That his heart will not suit Stede due to their different upbringings. But as the two grew closer that evening he shows his heart to Stede, who folds it into a beautiful rose showing him how beautiful his heart could be. This could also mean that Stede is the amplifier that Edward needs in order to see himself for who he truly is and to see how he can wear his heart well. This showed progress of their relationship for many fans due to how he was showing a part of him (that he normally kept hidden) to Stede. A desire he always wanted but did not think he deserved. And how Stede reassured him he did deserve it. This is only one of the scenes that proves how important the two are to not only each other for things such as teaching each other how to be a better pirate or teaching the other about the finer things in life, but also to each other's growth as individuals.
We again see their relationship change when Edward tries to kill Stede Bonnet (it sounds worse than it is, trust me). As we learn how the only time Edward felt fear was when his father was killed by the 'Kraken' and how he was there to witness it, he decided it was time to teach Stede about the 'art of fuckery' and how it could be used as a great way to install fear in their enemies. However, some of Edwards crew (Izzy,Ivan and Fang) had had enough of Edward acting like Stede's 'pet' (someone that Blackbeard would never let on his ship) and said it was time for Bonnet to die. Edward agreed. As he went on to do the deed ,unaware that Stede was planning to do an 'art of fuckery', the special effects resembling a Kraken attack cause Edward to go into a panic and hide in Stede's bathroom. Alarmed at this reaction, Stede follows and Edward reveals that he was the 'Kraken' who killed his abusive father. With this, he also tells Stede that he was planning to kill him but couldn't as he broke down in tears saying how he 'wasn't a good person' and that this was why he 'didn't have any friends'. Stede rebukes this claim and says how he views him as a friend and how he will forget about the planned killing, comforting Edward. This showed how much comfort Stede provides Edward. When Edward felt unsafe or needed somewhere he felt safe he went to STEDE'S bathroom. This showed that when he feels vulnerable, when all of the emotions he's kept hidden for so long come to surface his one confidant is Stede. And again, he shares something he has never shared with anyone else showing how much he trusts him. The way he can't kill Stede or keep his emotions in check around him could also highlight the fact that he cannot bring himself to be Blackbeard around Stede. He can only be Ed. The better self that Stede had helped him find. And how Stede straight away went after Edward, comforted him even when he revealed he was going to kill him and reminded him of his frienship showed that he could see the real Edward. And that was the version he wanted to see. Not the Blackbeard the others demanded came back to surface. The one that suited fine things. Edward. And with this interaction how could we not want a happy ending for these two?
Sadly, we do not get to see a happy end as of season one.
As soon as Edward learns that Calico Jack (his former crewmate) was sent by Izzy to make sure that he was away from the Revenge before the English arrived and captured Stede and his crew, he abandons the dinghy to return to the revenge. Once he arrives him, Stede and the rest of the crew are captured. But, as their hands are tied and they're thrown onto the floor, we see a moment between the two that had cemented for many fans that they did indeed have feelings for each other. They look at each other, content that they were together again. And as the camera slowly zooms out, we see Edwards boot reach for Stede's ankle, and in response Stede rubs his ankle against Edwards boot. Despite the chaos happening outside, their only concern is comforting the other. And if they have the means to do it, they will not hesitate. As long as they each have that little bit of comfort the world could burn and they would still be okay. Since they have the other as company. Nothing would hurt them more than being separated. If they could have even the tiniest bit of contact, nothing be bad. Even when death faces them and comes for their 'flags', they are just happy they would go through it together. There's no 'Mine' in 'Our Flag Means Death' after all.
The next episode we see as they both try and defend each other over Stede's crime (killing Nigel Badminton) showing how they wanted to make sure the other one was safe, even if it meant death for themselves. They just wanted the other one to be safe. In the end they both get put on trial. It was decided that Edward would go with Izzy Hands while Stede would be sentenced to death by firing squad. Not wanting Stede to go to a place he wouldn't be able to follow him to, Edward declared Act of Grace to save 'The Gentleman Pirates' life. This was agreed to and Stede would be pardoned if the both of them signed a document which would mean they would need to give up their life of piracy and serve the king. They both signed. As they spend some time in the Royal Privateering Academy, Stede questions how Edward was able to handle the situation so well to which Edward says he wanted to do 'what makes Ed happy'. He confessed that it was Stede that made 'Ed' happy. To make a sweet moment so much sweeter, he ends the confession with a kiss. As Stede accepts Edwards feelings they both decide to run away together. However, Stede never turned up. Just before the two planned to meet, he was awoken up at gunpoint by Chauncey Badminton who told him that he 'defiles beautiful things'. He reminded him of his crime of killing Nigel, of his family and how he had brought 'histories greatest pirate to ruin'. Stede finds himself agreeing to this and makes the decision to go to back to his former home. Edward is left heartbroken as he finds his way back to the Revenge, alone. He reverts to his old ways as 'Blackbeard', throwing away his old red handkerchief. Throwing away his heart and everything that reminded him of Stede. While Blackbeard began getting rid of his old life as 'Edward', Stede realsied how much he really loved Edward. As his wife (Mary Bonnet) revealed what it was like to be in love with Doug, he started thinking about his time with Edward and how much it meant to him. This was love. The two then used the 'art of fuckery' to fake Stede's death (which worked), but it was too late. Edward and the Ship were gone from the location where it had been last. In this scene we might as well have seen the death of 'Ed' as without Stede, he was just Blackbeard. Afterall, the pair of them are only their best selves when they are together.
Type of ship: Queer Canon
The 'Our Flags Mean Death' franchise is one of the best series I have personally watched regarding representation and in the way it rejects toxic masculinity. The LGBTQ+ community have suffered at the hands of what is known as 'queer baiting' for so long. This is when through advertisements and interviews with casts ect the TV producers sort of lure the community into watching and promoting their show with a false promise that their will be non-heteronormative couples involved in their franchise. But they don't follow through with this and get our hopes up making us feel lead on (see shark emoji post on BeChloe). This is why Our Flags Means Death was such a breath of fresh air. Actually FOLLOWING THROUGH with what was promised just raised our hopes a little more and allowed more people (who do not get near enough representation through TV shows and movies ect) to feel a bit more seen and also helped people discover who they are when they see people going through the same issues they're going through.
Stede and Ed's relationship was a pleasure to watch. To see two men have such comfort in each other and to see characters talking about their feelings and having breakdowns without feeling any shame or embarrassment was needed in order to challenge the toxic masculinity we see too much in this world and in the media. And to have such positive representations of Queer relationships being healthy was also amazing.
The journey we followed with Stede and Ed (although it ended on a cliffhanger) showed us what love was all about. Trust. Being your true self with each other. Sacrifice. Loving each other when we're at our worst. Loving the parts of the other that they couldn't love themselves. And so much more. And to find out what we hoped would happen, did happen is such a win for the LGBTQ+ community. We can only hope that shows will take a few lessons from this show and that we don't need to fear queer baiting happening as frequently as it does.
Even the show director (David Jenkins) admitted 'that Stede and Blackbeard’s romance was always part of his initial pitch for the series — and one of the things he and the writers found most creatively fulfilling". The opposites attract troupe which lead to the both of them just finding out what each of them actually wanted, fixed with the slow burn and not just the both of them automatically liking each other and showing the development of their relationship felt like a reward and made it feel natural and not forced.
It's safe to say I cannot wait to watch season 2. The only complaint I have for this show is how lonely it makes me feel. We all deserve a relationship like Stede and Ed.
Admin, 🦒
#gay ships#lgbtq community#shipping#ships#fandom#our flag means death#our flag means gay#stede bonnet#ed x stede#ofmd stede#ed teach#the gentleman pirate#edward teac
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