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randomfoggytiger · 7 months

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"The Dead Are Everywhere, Scully"

(Fictober, Day 1)

*****

He wakes alone in a field, his body having shed its flesh and left only its bones. The words “putridity and liquescence” come to mind, or to the back of it; and he sits up, knowing he has something to do. There should be someone else here, he thinks as he stands.

His memory is as empty as this afterlife, fields of tombstones stretching around him with names he knows he should know but does not.

Skeletons, he thinks, skeletons are the link. He shovels out thought after thought, leaving open graves of dead girls, dead sisters, dead fathers, and dead mothers as he pushes the boundaries of his mind in pursuit.

And like a bright flash it comes to him: “So first they're going to eat, then they're going to drink, then they're going to dance--"

He moves away from heaps of upturned dust and decay into a happier time-- a gray, distant recollection of two souls swaying in sync, celebrating life and happy endings.

He needs to find his dance partner.

*****

She wakes entombed in choking sand. It sifts through her teeth, collects in her crevices, grinds against her joints. The soft gauze of her funeral dress-- hers or someone else's-- twists around her legs and arms as she bangs the sarcophagus lid for freedom. There is no pain since the nerves spreading from her spinal cord have dropped away; but there is panic and fear and failure, Death and darkness and defeat.

Death has captured her in unbreakable chains: immortality, the curse of eternal life. I won't let this thing beat me echoes, hollow, in the fruitless weight of nothingness.

“I can’t."

But there is another echo that spits out defiance: Yes, you can; and strength and courage and hope stir in its wake.

Her knuckles crack, her fingers scrabble at dangerous angles, her wrists snap; but she mentally chants over the sounds of failure-- I have the strength of your beliefs, Mulder you’re the only one I trust, I won’t let this thing beat me, I won’t let this thing beat me--

And the lid slides off and the wind rushes in and the sand blows away.

*****

They reunite in a graveyard, rain racing down the curved edges of their new perimeters.

“What are we doing here?” she calls across the distance still separating them.

“We’re having a dance, partner.”

“Mulder--” and both of them stop as the truth opens before them.

He breaks the silence: “Well, c’mon, Scully. I think we got a few twirls left in these old bones of ours.”

His infectious enthusiasm and her reluctant amusement finally meet in the middle.

“Which ones, Mulder?”

“You tell me.”

She does.

*****

It is only them, the rain, and the mud.

“Mulder, I don’t understand it, any of it. How did this happen?”

They slow, the rain pours, the mud thickens around their shifting ankles.

“I don’t think we’ll ever know, Scully. Once I would have said ‘I think it’s about fate.'” They carefully maneuver around the awful deaths that time conjures up. “And you later argued for free will over fate on a certain later Monday. But I think we were both right, or both wrong, or both right and wrong; because we’re standing in a place where neither fate nor free will has power.”

“Then what does, Mulder?” She almost drifts away before he draws her back.

“I think it’s a matter of perspective. That we’ll never know, really. But one thing we do know. That you and I are Mr. and Mrs. Spooky--”

“Mulder--”

“And that we’ve beaten the odds, Scully. That we’re here together. That we found each other. That it feels right even if this existence doesn’t make sense, or at least if it doesn’t make sense yet.”

She lets him freestyle them both a little while she thinks. “King Spooky.”

“Hm?”

“You and I alone, together. King Spooky and Queen of the Dead.”

He celebrates her move with a dip. “Now let’s shimmy, Queen Spooky. Get those little legs moving.”

She raised a perfectly poised pointer finger in reproof. “That was a debatable topic even in life.”

“You can’t dress up what Death has dressed down, Scully.”

“And ten to one you can’t dance to it?” she asks, remembering another of his phrases from another world.

“Well, I like to think that our perspective has managed to beat a few odds. Wouldn’t you?”

A thoughtful, settling silence: “Yes, it did.”

And they shake the cold from their bones in tune with the rain.

*****

Acknowledgements: Thank you to @baronessblixen, @welsharcher, and others who have encouraged me to start writing. This is take two; and I really, really like how it turned out.

Thank you to all the mutuals and anons who were so kind on my first fic (Son of Egypt); and thank you to @perpetually-weirdening for (probably not meaning to) getting the idea of immortal Scully stuck in my head.

And my thanks to David Duchovny for the line he wrote in Hollywood A.D.-- it made a wonderful title; and inspired me to wrangle my floating thoughts into one coherent story.

Tagging @today-in-fic and @xffictober2023 and @fictober-event

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corviiids · 4 months

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my top bit of advice going into the new year: compliment people. especially strangers. literally everyone you interact with if you can. when you buy coffee in the morning compliment the barista's tattoos. when you're chatting with a coworker tell them that by the way you like their outfit. always find something they've chosen to do on purpose. nail polish, jewellery, tattoos, hair colour/style, statement accessory, outfit, etc are all good bets. things people hope will be noticed. things that aren't too personal so it doesn't make them uncomfortable (eg probably not their physical features). i've gotten into the habit of scanning everyone i talk to for something about them that i think is cool so i can tell them. it's a great habit because it makes me notice people and realise just how many neat little details there are in people's presentation of themselves that might pass me by if i wasn't paying attention. and it brings out so much joy. you'd be surprised how much it disarms people to receive an unexpected compliment from someone they don't know. it is the most sincere smile you will see all day long. it feels nice to make people happy but it also means you win the social interaction. establish dominance by complimenting a stranger's earrings and disappearing into the fog

#rookposting #the little 'oh!' followed by a big grin is now my highlight in every interaction i have with a stranger #you can always spot the things people hope will be noticed and you have no idea how happy it makes people when it gets noticed #i find it's always better to compliment things they did deliberately vs complimenting stuff like their voice or their face or other things #that are inherent or they cant change because that can make people uncomfortable for one thing to hear that from a stranger #but it's also just less meaningful imo because they didnt do that on purpose

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computerexploder · 1 year

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im just someones weird sister

#unemployed voice. cant find the original tumblr search sux #<- twas a blatant ripoff of the “im just someones weird coworker” post which i could not find #also. havent deleted it because i like very occasionally seeing my mutuals pop up in the notes

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inkskinned · 7 months

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what is with men being mad any time a woman raises her voice where did that even come from. someone posted a video of a small electrical explosion, and the top comment was of course the woman screams. the second comment is women try not to scream challenge, level impossible. i had to go back and watch the video again. there is, somewhat fainty, a little gasp emitted off-camera, more of a yelp than a scream. it is mostly lost in the crack of the explosion. afterwards, you hear her voice, shaken, say, are you okay?

i am helping one of my friends train her voice pitch lower, because she wants to be taken seriously at work. she and i do each other's nails and talk about gender roles; and how - due to our appearance - neither of us have ever been able to be "hysterical" in public. we both appear young and sweet and feminine. she is cisgender, and cannot use her natural voice in her profession because people keep saying she appears to be "vapid". we both try to figure out if our purposeful voice lowering is technically sexist. is it promoting something when you are a victim to it?

a storm almost sends a pole through a car window. in the dashcam, you can hear the woman passenger say her partner's name twice, crying out in alarm. she sounds terrified. in the comments, she is lambasted for her lack of calm. how is that even fucking helping?

in high school, i taught myself to have a lower voice. i had been recorded when i was genuinely (and righteously) upset; and i hated how my voice sounded on the phone speakers when it was played back. i was defending my mom, and my voice cracked with emotion. it meant i was no longer winning the argument: i was just shrieking about it.

girls meet each other after a long summer and let out a little joyful scream. this usually stops around 12-14, because people will not tolerate this display of affection (as it has the effect of being passingly annoying). something about the fact that little girls can't ever even be annoying. we are trained to examine each part of our lives (even joy) for anything that could make us upsetting and disgusting. they act like teenage girls are breaking into houses and shrieking you awake at 3 in the morning. speaking as a public school educator: trust me, it's not that bad, you can just roll your eyes and move on. it does not compare to the ways boys end up being annoying: slurs in graffiti, purposefully mocking your body, following you after you said no. you know, just boy things.

there's another video of a man who is not allowed to yell in the house, so he snaps his fingers when he's excited about soccer. the comments are full of angry men, talking about how their brother is unfairly caged. let him express himself and this is terrible to do to someone. eventually the couple has to address it in a second video: they are married with a newborn baby. he was trying not to wake the infant up. there is no comment on the fact women are not allowed to yell indoors. or the fact that it could have been really alarming or triggering for his wife. sometimes i wonder if straight men even like women, if they even enjoy being in relationships with them.

for the longest time, i hated roller coasters because it always felt inappropriate and uncomfortable for me to scream. one of my friends called me on it, said it was unusual i'm so unwilling. i had to go to my therapist about it. i don't like to scream because i was not raised in a safe situation, and raising my voice would have brought unsafe attention towards me. even when i am supposed to scream, it feels shameful, guilty. i was not treated kindly, so i lack a basic form of self-protection. this is not a natural response. it is not good that in a situation of high adrenaline - i shut up about it.

something very bad is happening, i think. in between all the beauty standards and the stuff i've already discussed - this one feels new and cruel in a way i can't quite express. yes, it's scary and silencing. but there's something about how direct it is - that so many men agree with the sentiment that women should never yell, even in an emergency - it feels different.

is the word shriek gendered automatically? how about shrill or screech? in self defense class, one of the first things they tell you is to yell, as loud and as shrilly as you can. they say it will feel rude. most women will not do this. you need to practice overcoming the social pressure and just scream.

most women do not cry out, even when it's bad. we do not report it. we walk faster. we do not make a scene. what would be the point of doing anything else? no matter what we do, we don't get taken seriously. it is a joke to them. an instagram caption punchline. we have to present ourselves as silent, beautiful, captivating - "valuable."

a woman is outside watching her kids when someone throws a firecracker at them. she screams and runs towards her children. in the comments, grown men flock together in the thousands: god. women are so annoying.

#warm up #writeblr #this one has bothered me for a bit #any time a woman does something even passingly annoying we treat it like a fucking crime #hey man. women are allowed to be annoying. everyone forever is allowed to be passingly annoying #as long as they aren't hurting anyone/thing #like u wanna know something? i find it super annoying that men don't wear seatbelts #why arent there thousands of comments on driving videos thats just like : men try not to die in a car crash challenge #''this briefly annoyed me''. okay??????? AND????????????????? go get ur self a cookie and calm down about it #ur not entitled to control other ppl's experiences and emotions just so u can maintain ur own peace #if being briefly annoyed ruins ur whole day! you! need! therapy!!!!#men try not to become immediately angry about nothing challenge: level impossible #ps author is nonbinary. we didn't even get into the gender presentation thing #the fact men think it's SEXY that my voice is on the lower end....

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sherlock-is-ace · 8 months

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I'm still not over the fact that in the book, Aziraphale and Crowley are supposed to look 30 and 24 years old...

This is what they would look like

That's David in 1995 in The Bill and Michael in 1997 (not quite 99 like it's supposed to be) in Wilde.

Those are children! Mere babies!

#obviously their age gap doesn't quite match cause michael and david are only 2 years apart but still #also damn michael sheen cause i wanted to find a movie or tv show but in 1999 he only did voice acting lol #so 1997 was the closest #plus he played robbie ross (my beloved) which is close to aziraphale in some ways dfhfdg #and david was a criminal in the bill (i think) which goes with the demonic nature of crowley lol #ANYWAYS enjoy my silly post #angel talks #good omens #david tennant #michael sheen

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couchcouchcouchcouch · 2 months

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HEART. LUNGS. LIVER. NERVES. HEART. LUNGS. LIVER. NERVES. HEART. LUNGS. LIVER. NERVES. HEART. LUNGS. LIVER. NERVES.

#HEART. LUNGS. LIVER. NERVES.#POV The Nightmare breaks your concentration and Slays You #i mostly drew the nightmare because its where i met voice of the paranoid #i love voice of the paranoid a lot #i love that the terrified voice in my head gets to be Helpful. and ACT #obviously incredibly prime subject to project onto #anyways i really like this game and when i can find the time and energy ive been trying to find all the paths and achievements by myself #so please enjoy my first post of the new year #i will not promise there will be more #i couldnt decide if i like the colors for the hand breaking our concentration so im giving yall both #voice of the paranoid #slay the princess #the nightmare #my art #artists on tumblr #digital art

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ramonapest · 4 months

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Pressure is, it's kind of my thing

@d20exchange gift for @doodlididi!

#D20Exchange2023 #fantasy high #dimension 20 #d20 #riz gukgak #happy holidays dani!!!#it's my first time making gifs for d20 and first time making any gifs in over a year #so i hope you enjoy this! i tried to include a mix of happy bonding moments and chaotic moments #i tried to find some riz voice of reason moments but despite how often he is the voice of reason #those moments are much less iconic and memorable than his chaotic ones lmaoo #also i love your art!!!#it's so fun!!#my edits #my gifs

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taeiris · 11 months

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not me being late as hell to mermay

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opera-ghost · 28 days

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it's immensely funny to me how andrew lloyd webber read this passage from the book and was like yeah the journey down to the phantom's lair is this really breathtaking magical gondola ride where christine is just captivated by the strange and fantastical beauty of it all (see below)

when in the novel they're both like in a rowboat in the dark with christine scared out of her mind and confused as hell while erik is paddling like he's out for an extreme day of fishing and just staring christine down for the entire duration of the journey without blinking once . like mind you his eyes quite literally GLOW in the DARK and he's just fucking staring into her soul and silently rowing and probably not even breathing like

#AND IT'S SOMEHOW STILL HOT #i always forget that by this point in the book there's no “i am your angel of music / come to me angel of music” like in the musical #like she has no idea who this mf kidnapping her is and when she says “who are you where is the voice” he's just like 🙄#and when she DOES find out that *he's* the voice and he's been pretending to be an angel sent by her dead father for 3 months #it's when he's just set her down in his sitting room that's filled with a bunch of stupid pretentious flowers #and he's like “don't be afraid you're in no danger” despite the fact that she's been taken FIVE STORIES BENEATH THE OPERA against her will #by the guy who's been manipulating and lying to her through the goddamn walls #ohhhhhhhh and then fans have the audacity to get mad at christine for trying to snatch his mask like THIS MF ABDUCTED HER????#(still love him though <3)#(his morals are questionable but so is my interest in men😍)#phantom of the opera #poto #poto shitpost

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aimseytv · 1 month

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please do not send me videos or clips about me where people spend the majority half of said video just making fun of how i talk and look. i do not want to see that. nobody wants to see that.

#please keep this here but man #ive only just recently gotten better at not despising how i talk and now im just back into the rut of it #people can criticise me that is ok but just complaining how i talk is just sad #i can’t help it #also the amount of people who said they’re purposely siding with “whoever i’m against” because they find my voice “that annoying” is sad #anyway ramble over pls keep this here #as in don’t post over other platforms etc etc #k bye

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fieryvoid-scout · 1 year

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Zenos Boba

#zenos #ffxiv #ff14 #meme #Endwalker #zenos boba #I literally can’t find this version already on here #nor do I have a link to the tiktok bc I don’t HAVE a tiktok #and the only one that pops up is the one voiced by someone else #so fuck it ig I’m reposting #so I can pin it to the top of my blog #if anyone has a link PLZ SEND

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carnivalcarriondiscarded · 8 months

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(loosely) that scene from potc... its so Them i think...

#apologies for the low quality scribbles i simply couldn't be fucked!! <3<3<3 #and they're a lil funky.... i havent drawn em in a while....#but geez. man. oof. ough #the potential of the pining + Names ouagshashjafkanvfla #THE RITUALS ARE INTRICATE #scribble salad #franklydear #welcome home #ever since finding out how they call each other by last names my brain has been Mush over that #the layers!!! the potential for development!!!#what would the transition to first-name-usage look like #i feel like they're gonna be on first name basis Before they actually refer to each other by their first names #and maybe frank will call him eddie first.... maybe....#leaving eddie to be the one maintaining a sort of 'professional' distance #but in the process making their interactions Way more intimate and emotionally Charged than they would've been otherwise #its about the suspense... about the 'am i allowed to know what your name feels like'....#the 'i want nothing more than to know what my name sounds like in your voice'#receiving your mail and waiting for the time he finally allows that little distance to be closed with one simple syllable #or delivering the mail and waiting for him to open both doors w/ hand & name #both an allowance and a confirmation and an answer and a promise wrapped up in one little word #Im Just Speculating & Rambling at this point #OUGH FRANKLYDEAR <3<3<3<3 #i cant wait to watch them really go Through the Horrors while falling in love #bc when nothing is real or certain what else can you cling to but each other #so abnormal about them....#wh has opened my eyes to the inherent romanticism & pain of mail carriers #they will always come to your door but they will also always leave #and the gifts they give you are always from someone Else #all you can hope for are those Moments where your fingers brush as they hand over letters #where the only true words between you are the ones hidden away in ink and belonging to neither of you

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stellas-and-tonitruses · 3 months

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Everything we know about Project Apple (and, by extension, Anya's past) thus far

thought i'd compile all of that now while endo's on break Just In Case the next chapter happens to start anya's backstory (i don't Think it will but endo likes surprising us LSDFKLFS)

important disclaimer that project apple and the organization in charge of anya's experiments have not been confirmed to be related! there's evidence that they have things in common, in particular employees, but that's our only real connection between the two thus far. still! worth looking into

more under the cut!

so, starting very strongly with the very first mention of anything related to the project: anya's introduction in chapter 1

despite her being a main character, we know very little about her past at the moment, and this little blurb at the beginning makes up a very big portion of what we know.

things to note here:

as an experiment, her name was "Test Subject 007". important to note that the notation differs between her and bond: she was Test Subject 007, bond was Subject 8, no zeroes in there;

she had been made thus by accident, the phrasing itself implying quite heavily that she was just a normal child before said accident (but this is the translation! i don't know japanese so i can't cross-reference with the raws to clarify if the phrasing changes anything, but the fanbook uses the word "gained" to describe her powers too);

because her mind-reading is an unintended consequence, that means the scientists were presumably not, at least initially, trying to achieve cognitive enhancements in humans, and were instead trying to achieve something else, whatever that might've been;

she escaped from the facility and then moved from institution to institution, looking for a family.

so, crucially, through this little introduction we learn that there is an organization, government-funded or otherwise, that is or was conducting human experiments for unknown purposes. we also learn that whatever family anya had prior to being involved in the experiments is more than likely unreachable, at least as far as she knows, and so she has settled for finding a new family to take care of her instead.

in terms of the facility itself, here we see they clearly drilled it into her that she can't ever reveal her secret (and the darn plush is there too -- in the anime it's even more emphasized, as you can see in the gif i made)

through her reminiscing though, we get our very first look at the scientists that were in charge of her! they're in the gif above but here they are in the manga too. it's so interesting that the anime actually shows their eyes behind the glasses though, fascinating choice.

the insistence on world peace is important, as it explains her own personal obsession with it and shows that it's not just because of twilight's own focus on preserving the peace. i also don't think twilight ever really talks about "world peace," only about "preserving the current peace between westalis and ostania" -- anya seems to be the only one talking about WORLD peace (even in the very first scene where either of them mention it in proximity to each other in ch 1, loid says "understanding the other party is the first step towards peace" and anya's interpretation is "understanding me makes world peace?") but take this with a grain of salt because i might be wrong! going through every single mention of peace in the story just to fact check this one little trivia fact is a bit much i think so i'm not doing it JSDFKLSD

but yes

remember mr hair strand and baldy, we'll see them again. not her though, ig she wasn't in charge of bond

now, fast-forwarding to chapter 19, we finally get a name and a premise for the experiments:

"but oana," you might say, "this is talking about animals only! how do we know it's the same project as anya's, which involved human experimentation?"

i don't think it is, is the thing! i think it's related to the experiments anya was a part of, which is evidenced by the same scientists being featured in project apple too, but there's more going on that we don't know about. there wouldn't be such adamancy on keeping the two separate in every official mention of them if they were just the same thing, imo!

back to the evidence, we learn that the project, conducted and funded by the previous ostanian regime (meaning donovan's related to it one way or another, since he was prime minister), was marked by franticness and desperation -- a prime place for accidents like anya's telepathy and bond's future vision.

we also learn that the project was sacked by the new administration and that the former test subjects ended up on the black market.

(this makes it very important, imo, to learn when anya escaped the facility vs. when the project was sacked. it's clearly no longer in function, but while we've heard nothing from them thus far, i'm willing to bet the shady dealings around the desmond group are NOT related to the war, as W.I.S.E. has been led to believe, but rather to reignite project apple. that is speculation however so i'm going to refrain from theorising much on why the desmond group is focused on acquiring pharmaceutical companies!!)

ok speculation tangent over, back on track

so, that's already a decent amount of info! but moving to chapter 22, when bond is finally home, and we finally see some familiar faces

behold! baldy and mr hair strand!

and 2 other guys we don't know but will see again in another bond flashback!

that's 2 out of the 3 scientists we've seen thus far from anya's own time as subject 007, confirming that there IS a connection between anya and bond's experiments, regardless of whatever the project anya was a part of might've been named.

this is also the chapter in which we learn that bond himself was subject 8 (or, if we take it from the fanbook, subject #8. still, diff notation from anya!)

in chapter 31, we learn an interesting tiny piece of trivia. we don't get any further info on it, but it IS mentioned as something that is known by W.I.S.E.:

ostania is rumoured to have done human experimentation! and W.I.S.E., and by extension loid, are aware of that.

do i know how them knowing may be important later? not really!

the next droplet of info we get is in chapter 40. we see that project apple had collaborators that are still functioning unhindered.

of course, born industries is only rumoured to have been involved with project apple, but regardless of whether or not they actually were, the rumour itself implies that the project likely pulled scientists from various other companies' R&D departments.

(this makes the desmond group's acquisition of glooman pharmaceuticals shadier, but anyway)

as a side note, twilight is emoting so much at just his wrong assumption that bond is seeking revenge against the scientists. imagine how he's going to react when he finds out about anya JKSDFKLFSD

and now aaaaall the way in chapter 58, we see the bald guy who anya also knows, the two scientists from bond's previous flashback, and one whole new guy!

and thus ends our current knowledge of it all!

the only other thing worth discussing is anya's knowledge of classical language

but plenty people have already discussed these scenes, especially recently, so here are some links: 1 | 2 | 3

the only thing i can add is that i'm fairly certain that classical language is a lot more likely to be latin than old english, because it's a very common language to learn in school (in europe at least, and ostania is based on east germany so it makes sense to me. i learned mandatory latin in school for a few good years too, even if i wasn't that good at it lol) and because one of the most common modern usages of latin are in medicine and science, it would make sense that she'd be better at it due to exposure.

a possibility is also that the scientists would think in latin to conceal their thoughts from her, and that's how she ended up learning so much. she's not fluent in latin, she's just well acquainted and that cicumstance would explain the how.

BUT THAT'S SPECULATIONNN

also i don't think "ANIA" is an acronym, nor do i think anya's been misspelling her own name out of lack of knowledge. "ania" is a polish diminutive of anna and an alternate transcription of Аня, so i think it's far more likely that anya isn't ostanian or westalian than it is that her name comes from an acronym.

now,

TL;DR!

what we know about project apple (and the "mysterious organization"):

project apple was funded and conducted by what appears to have been donovan's regime and, from what W.I.S.E. knows, aimed to create highly intelligent animals for military purposes;

W.I.S.E. is aware that ostania is at the very least rumoured to have dabbled in human experimentation;

the project is presumably no longer on-going, though it is likely there are efforts behind the scenes to revive it;

it is rumoured but not confirmed that project apple had collaborating companies that are still functioning perfectly fine;

the same scientists who were in charge of bond were also in charge of anya, signalling that there is a very significant connection between project apple and the "mysterious organization;"

based on what they were telling anya, they were/are very focused on "world peace";

their experimentation methods include but likely aren't limited to electrocution.

and what we (vaguely) know about anya that relates to this:

she is at the youngest, 4 years old, and at the oldest, 5 nearing 6. we don't know her real age, all we know is she definitely lied about being 6;

she is very fixated on specifically world peace while twilight is focused on peace between ostania and westalis. the scientists are the very first we see talking about this, so it's likely their fault;

she is unreasonably well acquainted with classical language;

she has escaped the facility at LEAST 1 year ago;

and, one tidbit from the fanbook (page 29): "Anya has been reading minds for as long as she can remember," implying that her memory of a life before the lab is muddy at best and absent at worst.

that's all we know that i know of!!

if you got this far, thank you for reading :D hope any of this was interesting or sparked any theories >:] have a good day!

#sxf #spy x family #manga spoilers #project apple #anya forger #bond forger #sxf manga #spy x family manga #sxf manga spoilers #spy x family manga spoilers #analysis #meta #I DIDN'T OWN THE FANBOOK WHEN I FIRST MADE THE DRAFT FOR THIS BUT THEN I BOUGHT IT well my brother bought it for me #bless his heart #AND SO I WANTED TO READ THE ENTIRE THING BEFORE CONTINUING ON!!! didn't find much out in relation to this post specifically but #there's quite a lot to infer on how anya's powers work #and there's a distinction between what she reads (internal voices vs mind reading which would be digging into someone's subconscious)#so that would be super interesting to talk about but uh not in this post KLSDFJSDKL since it has little bearing on the project itself

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crowsgrudge · 7 months

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fionna's world being represented by a dandelion makes so much sense ... they're weeds. yet people make wishes through them, changing their whole meaning from something meant to be destroyed to something hopeful.

dandelions are also resilient and it makes sense that something associated with them would. you know. perservere despite the destruction caused by the scarab.

but ultimately i think what REALLY made me tear up over this is that dandelions are really boring plants. when you're a kid you blow on them and make your wish but they're not eyecatching or anything but still, fionna's final wish was for her old world to still exist as it was when she left it (> plain and simple. boring even).

like the moment she realized she would lose her friends, and that her friends might forget each other if the world got its magic back, she immediately decided she didn't want it and I think that ties back to the dandelion metaphor so well... like, do you really need magic to be real to find it everywhere? or can you turn something boring into something magical?

#remi rambles #fionna and cake #f&c spoilers #sorry i have many Not Silly thoughts about the finale #i looove fionna she was such a wonderful character .. so well written and real TO ME #shes my best friend shes my everything shes silly she makes me so emotional #like even when simon told her he was gonna wear the crown to get the magic back to her world #< the moment she realized he would go crazy she started to think about it #like she wont sacrifice a friend just to get what she really wants #i really loved her journey through the show idk #going from being so over her routine > finding out magic can be dark too > making her own magical world just by loving her friends #like its so much more than 'the power of friendship will save us!!'#yes she saved the world thanks to the love she had for her friends but it was backed up by a full journey beforehand #i think. the line about having functional toilets (while still being a p good joke) makes the point so much clearer #we have been to the end of the universe and back but we have functioning toilets !!!#like do u get it. do i sound crazy #< crazy person voice #anyway yes im done sorry #live laugh love fionna and cake

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inkskinned · 1 year

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there are a lot of posts out there that are positive and healthy coping mechanisms for handling the holidays. this is not one of them :)

i think there's like. going to be times in your life you will be stuck in a social situation that you cannot escape from gracefully. i do not know why the internet doesn't believe these times exist. it's not always just that your physical safety is at risk - sometimes it's legit like "i just don't currently have the energy or time to put in the effort of responding to this." sometimes it's a coworker you hate so much. sometimes it's just like, fine, you know? like you know you can handle your aunt when she's cheerily horrible, but if you actually set a boundary around her, it's going to be weeks of fallout with your father.

i don't know why people think the answer is always just "cut them out!" or "don't let them get away with that!" because ... the real world is tricky and complicated. i think kind of a lot of us have an internal "radiation poisoning" meter for certain people. like - i'm talking about the ones who are absolutely giving you gradual ick damage. like, you can handle them, but you'll be exhausted.

and yes. you absolutely should listen to your therapist and the good posts about handling others and set good boundaries and take care of yourself. prioritize peace.

HOWEVER :) ...... since im often in a situation with a Gradual Sense of Ick person i cannot just "cut out" of my life (without losing someone else precious to me) - i have sort of developed the most. maladaptive form of mischief possible. because like, if i'm going to have to listen to this shit again, i like to have a little bit of private fun with it.

now! again, i am physically safe, just mentally drained by this man. you should only do this with people you are not in danger with. which leads me to my suggestions for when your Unfortunate Acquaintance shows up and says oh everyone pay attention to me.

my favorite word is "maybe!" said as brightly and happily as possible. whenever the Horrible Person starts in on a topic you do not want to go further with, particularly if they make a claim that you know to be inaccurate, do not respond to it. you and i have both tried to actually argue with this person, and it hasn't gone well, because this person just wants the drama of an argument. however, "maybe!" gives them literally nothing to go on. it is incredibly disarming. they are used to people having some response. they know they can't prove what they're saying, and maybe! treats them like the child they are. it dismisses them in the politest way possible.

i like to say maybe! and then, in their stunned silence, immediately change the subject. this is because i have adhd and i will have something unrelated to talk about, but if you can't think of topics fast enough, i recommend just pointing to something and saying, "isn't that lovely?" because fuck you let's bring in some positivity.

by the way. that second trick - of pointing to something and stating an opinion about it? - that just works on its own, like, 70% of the time. i picked it up from teaching preschoolers. it's an intentional "redirect". it stops children crying and it also stops grown adults from finishing their explanation on why women belong in kitchens. dual wielding!

keep it silly for yourself. i absolutely do not care if people think i'm fucking stupid (it's more fun if they do) and as a result i will purposefully misunderstand things just to see how long it takes them to realize i've completely removed them from the subject at hand. when they say "women aren't funny" i get to be like. "which women." "all women." "all women in america?" "no in the world." "like the mole people? the people in the world?" "what? no. like, alive." "oh are we not counting the mole people?" "what the fuck are you talking about." "you don't believe in the mole people?"

similarly, i play a personal game called "one up me." my Evil Acquaintance literally knows this game exists (my family & friends caught onto it and now also play it) and it always fucking gets him. i don't know why. you have to be willing to be a little free-spirited on this one, though. the trick is that when they make one of those horrible little bigoted or annoying comments they are always making, you need to go one unit weirder. not more intense, mind you - just more weird. "you don't look good in that dress." "yeah, actually, my other dress was covered in squid ink due to a mishap at the soup store." "you shouldn't wear such revealing clothes." "wait, what? oh shit. sorry, your son tears off strips when no one is looking and eats them. i swear it was longer before we left the building."

the point of "one up me" is to completely upend this person's narrative. we both know this person likes setting up situations where you cannot "win" and then they really like telling other people how badly you handled it. in a usual situation, if you respond "please don't say something that rude", you're a bitch. but if you let it happen, you're letting yourself be debased. they are not usually expecting door number three: unflappably odd. because what are they going to say when they're telling everyone how badly you behaved? "she said my son eats her dresses" ".... okay?"

if you can, form an allyship with someone whomst you can tagteam with. where they can pick up on your weird "soup store" story and run with it.

the following phrase is amazing and can be deployed for any situation: "oh, be nice :) it's the holidays!" i do not know why this works as often as it does. i'll say it for the most random shit. i think this is bc most of the time these people know they're being impolite, they just like to fight.

godbless. when in doubt, remember that you could always start stealing their pens.

the whole point of this is - if you can't escape. maybe see how long you can just be. like. a horrible little menace.

#this is objectively bad advice #don't listen to it protect yourself and do real work on yourself find one of the good posts i've made about this #but also. u know. if u want to have fun while u do the work of setting boundaries #.... it IS fun #i will say that my fear of him went SO down after i just started. fucking with him.#bc i used to get SO fucking upset #i'd spend WEEKS arguing with him. tearing my hair out. sick with anxiety and dread and anger about all of it #and now i just LITERALLY do not engage #instead i'm like '' haha :) mole people" and get the HELL out of any tense conversation #i kind of think some of these people are literally addicted to drama as a form of connection #they like the rush they get from arguing #but those arguments are incredibly damaging for me #so like..... i am in the process of literally rehabilitating this person to figure out how to find connection thru #NORMAL CONVERSATION #he doesn't get it yet #i also do talk to them like they're preschool kids lmafo . ''are you using a safe and kind voice right now?''#'' do you need a snackie? you sound a little upset. let's have some hummus and come back to playtime when we feel ready''

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