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xxx-silhouette-xxx · 1 year

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Am I the only one disappointed with season 3 of The Mandalorian?

Contains SPOILERS - so skip if you don’t wanna know

Tonight was, painful.

I’ve REALLY been trying to hang on with an open mind but after tonight, there’s no going back.

And I’ve got some things to get off my chest.

Din Djarin has had NO character development from the sacrifice he made for Grogu’s life. This has been inarguably, the biggest disappointment for me. I was hoping for a season of exploration of a man’s moral compass and worldview being hauled upside down, a young boy who’d been orphaned, traumatised and taken in by a cult that raised him with titanium religious beliefs. Who grew into a hardened bounty hunter but gave up everything he knew for the sake of a lost child. Became shunned for protecting said child and despite doing what he felt was right, strived to seek redemption and forgiveness. There was so much potential for Din as a character in terms of growth and development, all of which was swept under a rug within the first two episodes. He has instead become apart of Disney’s formula of “the boss ladies side bitch” with nothing to add to the scene but his catchphrase “this is the way”. That and the sudden revival of his hate for droids even though he had been working on that issue in past seasons.

Grogu is more or less the commodity Disney grew cash dollar signs in their eyes over for the sake of product marketing and just have him doing cutesy shit for the sake of being cutesy.

And then there’s Bo Katan.

Now disclaimer - I’m not the type that hates an actual person for a character they play. Yes, I’ve never liked Bo Katan (that much I’ve made clear in recent posts) but I also think that Katee Sackhoff does a brilliant job playing a character as such. And to see her come to life in season 2 was incredible and to me, Bo Katan from season two is the REAL Bo Katan.

Because I’m sure as hell disappointed with what they’ve done to her character in season 3. Bo Katan was a terrorist who broke away from Mandalore unable to accept a new direction in leadership from her own sister. She massacred and terrorised innocent people, she plotted towards the death of her sister, splintered off from her terrorist group after the throne of Mandalore was taken by Maul and continued to fight against his loyalists and later the empire itself.

And we all saw the look of death on her face when Gideon pointed out that the dark Sabre belonged to Din

This isn’t someone I was rooting for but this was someone who didn’t know when to give up and would go to any means possible to get what they wanted. This is the same woman who made an oath in the throne room of Mandalore, saying that an outsider would never rule the people. The odds were against her in many ways yet she still fought like hell…. Where is that woman? And who replaced her with Disney’s first emo teen princess whose suddenly forgotten her xenophobic upbringing?

And as for Lizzo and Jack Black’s appearances in episode six?

My partner said it best when he commented that they turn the whole show into a parody of itself.

Personally, I found Christopher Loyd’s character as flat as cardboard and an absolutely pointless goose chase used to build up momentum all to throw away the opportunity for a twist ending.

It really breaks my heart to see the series diminish into what it has. The whole reason people fell in love with the show was due to Din and Grogu’s father son dynamic and that’s all been thrown to the side in favour of other characters, setting up for the future of other shows and tying off the ends to the sequels.

Season three completely lacks the drive and purpose of the previous seasons.

It should and could have been so much more than what it is.

And Din Djarin deserved more depth in his story then to be abandoned to the side lines.

#the mandalorian #mandalorian season 3 #din djarin #pedro pascal #star wars #mando #mando spoilers #mando fanfiction #katee sackhoff

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featherlouise · 1 year

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I ask this like every person who's into HK that I follow so I'm also dropping this question off at your feet too;

How do you think Hollow's reunion with White Lady would go after the whole Radiance/sealing fiasco? Perhaps Pale King too if the fucker's alive?

FUCK ITS BEEN A WHILE SINCE U ASKED THIS HUH

(I'm gonna put this under read more bc it's kinda long (and all over the place so I apologise in advance))

OK SO

I think, with the state she's in during the game, she'd probably be pretty dismissive?? Like, she'd likely comment on how they're free and the infection's gone, but as much as I'd love to say it'd be a tearful reunion, I don't really think that'd be the case ://

PK on the other hand!!! There'd be A LOT of tearful apologies, ESPECIALLY once he sees their missing arm and other scars, bc HE did that to them, HE put them in the position to get hurt and HE convinced himself and them that they'd be able to forever contain a wrathful goddess with thousands of years of experience on them. The fact that they're even alive in the first place is a miracle in itself, nevermind the fact that they're able to walk around.

He'd probably claim them as his child and try to "make up" for their shitty childhood in any way he can. Which. Isn't much considering the kingdom is in shambles. Whereas before the fall of Hallownest he'd be able to shower them with presents and build a statue in their honour or name a stag station after them or something, the most he can do at this point is like. Hunt for them. And do they even need to eat?? With the whole technically not alive thing?? Eh it's the thought that counts.

On the other hand!! I think the outcome of the reunion entirely depends on where Hollow is in their recovery.

If they're barely healed and only just starting to confront the horror that was their upbringing, they'd still be battling with A LOT of guilt. As far as they're concerned, it's their fault for not being hollow that the kingdom fell. They're broken, and they were too selfish to admit that before it was too late, and now everyone is either dead or EXTREMELY traumatised.

The WL reunion would probably set back any progress they make if it's early on enough, bc they were honestly probably looking forward to the reunion. They know how much she wished for them to have been a real child, and now she can have that!! Sure it's a little late, but any relationship with their mother would be better than the cold dismissal they faced while growing up.

And then they walk into her chamber and she's nothing like the woman they remember, and they know it was childish and silly to believe she'd be exactly the same, but after coming across Dryya's body (something they will file away and confront much later, because Dryya is dead wtf how) they'd foolishly hoped that maybe their mother would take them into her arms like she saw her do so often for Hornet and their father.

But instead she barely acknowledges their presence, and dismisses them outright. As if they're a pest, not her child who has been locked away for centuries. And maybe she's right. Who are they to claim her as their mother when she's never wanted anything to do with them. So they leave.

If Hollow is later on in their recovery, like they've built up a support system, they've found themselves, figured out who they are outside of the Pure Vessel persona, I think they'd be able to recognise that their mother isn't well, and be able to stomach the dismissal and off handed insults in favour of trying to get her help. They'd definitely make use of that support system, but I think knowing their own worth would go a long way towards whether or not they let WL's comments get to them. And I think eventually, they'd be able to have afternoon tea and chat or something. But that would take A WHILE.

PK TIME OK

So I think the outcome of the PK reunion wouldn't change a TON, but there'd be a few key differences:

If Hollow is early in their recovery, they'd be VERY confused as to why their father is apologising to THEM. Bc they should be the one apologising right??? It's their failure to be what they were supposed to that led to the fall of the kingdom right?? Why is their father bringing them food??? He's never done this before?? And holy shit is he crying??!?!

Also hc that Hollow is the type of person to start crying if someone they care about is crying. So. Make of that what you will.

Overall, it'd be a mix of guilt and confusion and also relief?? Bc wow my father doesn't hate me that's a shock. I imagine the Radiance would use their wish for PK's approval against them A LOT so it's not unlikely that they've got a scenario in their head where their father proclaims that he despises them and then fortnite dances on their body after smiting them.

Later on in their recovery however, they'd be at a point where they can acknowledge that the way they were brought up was cruel, and they didn't deserve to be treated like an object, but I also don't think they'd be able to bring themselves to be angry at PK.

As the Pure Vessel, they were around PK in a lot of private moments, and it's not unlikely that he'd vent to them in the same way a person would vent to their favourite teddy bear. He'd vent about his guilt, his worries, sometimes even directly addressing them about how he wished things could be different. And bc I also headcannon Hollow to be EXTREMELY empathetic, they can UNDERSTAND why he made the decisions he did, and how he genuinely believed that he had no choice.

Honestly though?? I don't think the actual reunion would go much differently here. Maybe they'd be a bit quicker to hug back, maybe the tears would come sooner, maybe they'd be far less stiff and finally allow themselves to collapse against PK and let him hold them for the first time since they were tiny, but overall?? He'd still bring them presents out of guilt, and they'd still be confused as to why tf their father is trying to feed them so much.

OH ALSO PK would definitely go through a period of being ridiculously overprotective, like someone goes to pat Hollow on the shoulder and suddenly they've got a bitey Wyrm hanging off their arm. (Someone's overcompensating for 2 decades worth of protective instincts methinks)

Hollow's response to that would probably be a mix of embarassed and pleased, bc holy shit father wants to protect me but also nooo that's my friend he needs his arm get off

#asks #SRY THIS TOOK SO LONG #hollow knight #feather writes #IF THIS IS INCOHERENT I ALSO APOLOGISE

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puphoods · 1 year

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CLAIRE SWEEP NOW

CLAIRITY FOSTER aka "THE CLAIRVOYANT" aka CLAIRE is a vampire, taken in and raised as a weapon by a family of vampire hunters. after the death of his father at age 17, he goes on the run, hiding from both vampire hunters and his sister annie who is dead-set on revenge. years down the track he meets a human woman named amber, and is introduced to a local vampire coven and is caught up in their struggles with a mysterious "human coven" promising immortality without vampirism.

@original-character-championship

claires story is largely about overcoming the trauma and baggage that came with his upbringing. throughout the course of his story he struggles with overcoming the trauma of his abusive mother and learns to be a person outside of the identity others have forced on him. he forms a relationship with amber, a woman whos older sibling was turned into a vampire as a teen, and their relationship unfolds as claire forms bonds and alliances with the local coven in their fight against the intruding "human coven".

at the same time, annie has started an attempt to track him down again, and he is torn between his old and new lives as she desperately tries to bring his past back into his life and serve him the justice she thinks he deserves. claire struggles with a choice- should he try to get through to annie, try and make her understand that they are on the same side, that they have both been hurt the same way, and if they stand together they can grow and heal together as the sisters they always could have been, or should he prioritize protecting the people in his life who care about him, and attempt to put everything behind him and move on without annie who clearly does not want to listen to anything he has to say?

claire is a lesbian, and a lot of his struggles, both internal and external, represent or tie in to his internalised homophobia. his being gay AND being ambiguously Not Cisgender are integral to understanding his past and present. the relationships he forms and the people he comes to love and care about and who love and care about are, at the core, a representation of an isolated and traumatised queer person coming into a community of similar people who help him heal and accept who he is.

image dump time! look at my silly guy

#omfg i accidentally deleted this i thought i lost it... scary #i had it copied on discord thank GOD #original character championship #et cetera #my ocs #claire #posting this now bc ill be asleep when the polls post aaaah <3

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menalez · 11 months

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Holy shit. This is a response to ‘some women seek abuse’/BPD anon.

As someone who has BPD (C-PTSD but you’re a woman let’s be real)…

My habit of continuing to end up in abusive situations is not out of a martyr complex??? Like what part of you even thought that was an okay thing to type out about abused women, because let’s not pretend that BPD is a disorder that’s borne of a great upbringing. You’re saying that women who have been abused who then end up trapped in that cycle…are trapped because they like it? FFS

also abusers often intentionally target mentally ill especially traumatised women. they look for vulnerable women to harm. i’ve been abused by more than one person, it’s not bc i liked it lol.

#anonymous

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knackeredforever · 1 year

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An overly long tumblr ramble about funny armoured sci fi protagonists because I feel like writing this right now:

The character type of armoured sci fi protagonist who barely speaks(mostly) and simultaneously mows downs hordes of aliens(most of the time) is one of my favourite type of character next to traumatised homosexuals so here are some of my thoughts and head cannons regarding some examples of them:

Part 1 Samus aran:

Samus Aran (Metroid): one of my favourite protagonists in any game ever the perfect silent protagonist in my opinion. Gaming’s og girlboss while every other female gaming character in the 80s was stereotypically feminine samus was a complete badass although I’m using hyperbole as this was in the original Metroid the frustrating glitchy (While yes wildly influential for its time) duck tape held together mess it is. Although the series would transform after one other game that hasn’t aged that well then create super Metroid one of the greatest games of all time created the Metroidvania genre and was so influential that…..

I have gotten massively off topic. This was originally about my thoughts about her one thing I love to think about is what samus is like when she’s not in combat on alien planets. I’ve always loved the idea of outside bounty hunting samus lives a relatively chill life considering she rarely takes off her helmet or even speaks. It’s canonical that a lot of people in the Metroid universe despite her fame don’t know she’s a woman. So then I doubt she gets recognised in public ever. So i imagine a scenario where samus lives in a modest house in a rural town on a planet probably somewhere in galactic federation(gf) controlled space where no one knows her as that famous universe saving bounty hunter. But as that one friendly over 6ft tall buff lady who has a large amount of pets from tons of different alien planets who she cares for obsessively but never says how or where she got them from. She occasionally goes on long “business trips” off planet probably hires someone to take care of her pets while she’s gone and Samus comes up with some excuse with what she was doing so people don’t get suspicious. If Samus wanted to she could live a life of constant fame and luxury outside of her bounty hunting in some huge mansion in a gf major planet but she enjoys the simple life outside of her demanding job despite the fact she has near infinite finances from her bounty hunting and helping out the gf so she could live any life she wants she chooses the simple one.

Also another point on samus’s sexuality and gender cause I always see a lot of discussion about that on tumblr so I thought I’d throw my hat in the ring. First off while I like the lesbian or bisexual Samus headcannons I’ve almost always seen samus as aroace personally outside of friends her closest companions are probably her many pets and she’d probably be satisfied with that when it came to romance I think when she was younger after she started bounty hunting but before the events of Metroid she probably was asked to go on lots of dates by lots of people of any gender or sexuality or even different alien species probably cause Samus is an incredibly conventionally attractive over6ft buff blonde but I doubt Samus enjoyed them, probably going on them with people cause that what normal people do but Samus didn’t have a normal upbringing. Her parents were murdered by a pirate space pterodactyl and she was raised on an alien planet by her two bird dads in complete isolation from the rest of the galaxy given a magical battle suit that defies physics even in universe and dedicated her life to stopping the people who took both her families from her. So she probably was never really exposed to normal conventions of attraction so never really found any reason to get into it and she’s happy like that. As for Samus’s gender this is also a hotly discussed topic with many seeing her as non binary of trans masc and I don’t really have an opinion on this if Nintendo were to turn around and say samus is nb or trans I would be cool with it cause it’s in perfect character for her case in point her dialogue in Metroid fusion. Discussing Adam and how her referred to her as lady while not as an insult it still is implied that no one had ever focused on Samus’s gender like that probably because it didn’t matter to them in a military environment or as a bounty hunter it probably only mattered that she could get the job done to other people. So it was never a big deal to other people and I think it’s not a big deal to Samus either she probably doesn’t care what people think her gender is which is why she isn’t going out of the way to correct people about it she simply does not consider it important I guess that means I see Samus as genderqueer but I’m not really sure regardless it dosent matter what her gender is she’s still gonna reduce the space pirates to dust anyway or any other threat to the galaxy. Anyway I think I’m done talking about Samus now I highly doubt we’ll ever get these ideas about samus built on in future games and we don’t need too there not necessary for the games or to appreciate Samus and her excellent characterisation in recent games especially dread but I certainly won’t have a problem if they do or who knows maybe the reason that they restarted the development for prime 4 was so they could implement the all important lesbian sex scene.

End of part 1 I’ll be doing a ramble on other chat that fit into this category later on originally they were all gonna be in one post but this took like an hour to write so that’s not happening welp next up is John halo so I’ll write that up some other time byyyyyyeeeee.

#metroid #samus aran #video games #character analysis #headcanon #sexuality #gender

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semper-legens · 2 years

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119. The Book of Night Women, by Marlon James

Owned?: No, library Page count: 417 My summary: Lillith was born into slavery, her dark skin and green eyes betraying her mixed parentage. But through those eyes, Lillith sees the world differently from all around her. There is a secret council of women, working together to fight back in any way they can. And Lillith is at their heart, with all her anger and pain, her strengths and vulnerabilities. Will her passions destroy the Night Women, or will they overcome even the greatest of horrors? My rating: 4/5 My commentary:

Hoo boy. This one was a lot. We’re gearing up for Black History Month next month at the library I work at, and that means I’m poaching interesting-looking books off the displays. This particular book was not easy to read, let me tell you. And I mean that in a good way. It was quite obviously not meant to be easy, it’s about all of the horrors of slavery in 1800s Jamaica. It’s set out to be absolutely horrifying, and let me tell you, it succeeds at that a hundredfold.

(Warning for slavery, and also abuse, rape, child death, and under the cut)

Lilith is in herself an interesting character. She has an upbringing of relative privilege, given her position - she is given to an older woman to raise, and isn’t told to start working until her early teens. This, plus her personality, gives her an attitude described by other characters as ‘uppity’, but what that really means is that she has a sense of her own worth as a human being. Which is dangerous, from an enslaved person. Violence, when it happens to her, is shocking as it it brutal, coming on suddenly and throwing the narrative into panic. As she grows older, Lilith finds herself in worse and worse positions, subject to much danger and abuse, protected only by her own wits and one of the women who works in the kitchen, Homer.

One of the more interesting questions posed by the novel is the idea of the morality of murder. The titular Night Women want to take over the plantation and the whole island, killing all the white people, even children. And midway through the book, in a panic after he attempts to rape her, Lilith murders the owner of the plantation she is on then burns down the house, including the women and children inside it, and some of her fellow enslaved people. Lilith feels conflicted about this afterwards, traumatised by the idea of those children burning to death, but at the same time recognising that they would have grown up to be just as bad as the people who have abused her. And at the same time, the white people have murdered countless black children, including her mentor Homer’s children, and Lilith’s own mother, who was only in her early teens when she died giving birth to her. Lilith struggles with this idea for the rest of the book, and indeed, there are no easy answers.

Furthermore, the latter part of the book deals with Lilith falling in love with and genuinely having feelings for a white man, Quinn, who treats her as his wife even though she has seen him beat and abuse enslaved people, including herself. It’s a Stockholm Syndrome sort of relationship; many of Lilith’s peers remind her that even while she is falling in love with him, and he is professing his love for her, he is still abusing and murdering other enslaved people. But again, there’s no easy answers. There are just the horrors, and how Lilith deals with them.

Next up, from one type of horror to another, with a young woman who grew up in a cult.

#The Book of Night Women #Marlon James #book blog #bookblr #book blogger #4 #Slavery /

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fictionfromafar · 2 years

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The Bleeding by Johana Gustawsson

The Bleeding

By Johana Gustawsson

Translated by David Warriner

Orenda Books

Publication Date: 15 September 2022

#RandomTTours

To state that Johana Gustawsson’s new novel The Bleeding was highly awaited would be a real understatement. Not only is this her first English language publication since Blood Song in 2019 and the intriguing beginning of a brand-new series; it is also the tantalising first time English language readers will read a novel that is partly set in her native France. The author has long been billed as the Queen of French Noir due to earlier titles including her cowrite with Laëtitia Milot “On Se Retrouvera” (We Will Meet Again) later adapted for television for an audience of over 7 million viewers. However, the largely Swedish setting of her Roy & Castells series and the surname she has taken from her Swedish husband, Johana Gustawsson has often seen her slotted under the Nordic Noir bracket. So, with The Bleeding it could be said that the Queen is making a bold move to reclaim her crown. I can assure you she does so with both aplomb and panache.

There is an interesting trade off with this novel. The French title translates as Hold Your Hand While It All Burns. This has been switched to the snapper title of The Bleeding (it has long been seen that anglophone readers prefer shorter names, see Jussi Adler Olsen for another example), by contrast the brilliantly bright red cover of this book which hints at sorcery is so eye catching and with so much depth. Believe me the story inside is just as memorable.

Johana Gustawsson excels at writing intelligently plotted parallel storylines with really insightful historical narratives. Readers of Blood Song would not fail to be moved by her revealing accounts of the often-forgotten crimes against women during the Spanish Civil War. With The Bleeding she takes that further still, setting the story in three separate periods of time while also examining the challenges that women have faced within each era.

There is no settling into The Bleeding as we enter the most contemporary story, set in Lac Clarence Québec, Canada in 2002. Police detective Maxine Grant has been called out to a wealthy home where an elderly lady is outside screaming. Grant is shocked when she seems this woman whom she recognises as her childhood primary school teacher, Mrs Caron. Gustawsson’s imagery compels us to visualise this encounter from Grant’s perspective as she sees a senior citizen she had admired standing in the road without shoes in the snow, her face and upper body covered in blood. It is such a powerful and ominous way to begin the novel. Grant then enters the house in trepidation as to what she might find. When the lady’s husband, a retired professor is found with multiple stab wounds there is no doubt about the cause of death and his executioner. For Grant, who has just returned from maternity leave, the perplexing question is what could drive a seemingly sedate lady to kill her life partner?

The story then switches briefly to post war Québec where we encounter a girl in her young teens called Lina. She is going through a difficult upbringing, her mother been widowed during the war and due working long hours in an asylum, has little time for her. Lina is a lonely girl who struggles to build friendships at school. Life does seem to improve when she makes acquaintance with one of the residents at her mother’s work whose viewpoints and insights begin to fascinate her.

Maxine Grant’s investigation gets even more baffling when she and her colleagues find some macabre discoveries in the Caron house while her former school teacher seems too traumatised to offer any explanations. It is not an easy time for Grant whose husband passed away shortly before their baby was born, while her teenage daughter seems unwilling to help at home.

The France that featured The Bleeding is very far removed from the Marseille of Gustawsson’s upbringing, instead the setting is Paris in 1899, during an exciting time of peace and optimism known as the Belle Époque. Lucienne has moved to the city from Québec for marriage into a wealthy family and she and her husband Henri have raised two young daughters. Despite the secure comforts of her rather lavish lifestyle, Lucienne feels the Parisians are cold, in particular her mother in law who has fixed expectations of her marital duties. Tragically the mansion they live in burns down apparently claiming both daughters. Lucienne is not convinced her children have perished. Feeling detached from the religious ceremonies to mark their passing, she encounters Violette, a spiritualist, who will open a new world to her.

Three women with three different destinies each told in first person narrative. The pleasure is discovering what unites and links them together. The author digs deep into her characters psychology, the atmospheres they grow up in, the expectations to live with and the God they must believe in. The Bleeding is not simply a psychological thriller, a police procedural, a historical fiction; it is all of them while also an exploration of felinity. Morality features too, while they may be victims of their times, there are no angels in this story. Great credit must go to Johana Gustawsson and by extension to her translator David Warriner as the feel and use of language from each era also feels very authentic. There is also a tipping of the hat in places to other authors such as Arthur Conan Doyle, Victor Hugo and a far more modern one!

While her previous novel Blood Song demonstrated Gustawsson’s craft in creating a multiple dimensional, multiple time lined and gripping story which shines both a light on unsavoury practices and a microscope at historical atrocities; through The Bleeding she digs even deeper to formulate a webbed sequence of events encompassing three time periods which envelopes in mystique a thoroughly absorbing story which gradually and suspensefully unravels. These narratives comprise of a contemporary investigation into an apparent domestic murder that following some macabre discoveries proves to be so much more, an expedition into spiritual behaviours by a bereaved mother in Paris at the turn of the 20th Century and the gradual exploration of dark practices in Post-War Québec. The common theme being these are all women who have been trapped by the societal and cultural limitations of the times they have endured. Reading The Bleeding, I can assure you that there are plenty of surprises in store and you will want to read more of these characters. A couple of late revelations were provided at face value and this is perhaps the outlet that Gustawsson will use to take the series forward – which I do believe will prove an even greater challenge. Be sure to get onboard now!

Many thanks to Orenda Books for the advance copy of The Bleeding and to Anne Cater at Random Things Tours for inclusion on the blog tour. Please check out the other reviews of this book on the book tour. Also look out for a change to win a copy of this book on Twitter.

Preorder The Bleeding:

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sometimesraven · 2 years

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I posted 1,135 times in 2022

That's 877 more posts than 2021!

91 posts created (8%)

1,044 posts reblogged (92%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@antiquedemon

@enbygesserit

@fannish-snailien

@komikbookgeek

@fenrir-kin

I tagged 843 of my posts in 2022

Only 26% of my posts had no tags

#reblog - 678 posts

#fandom - 120 posts

#about - 53 posts

#mine - 44 posts

#dw - 33 posts

#stranger things - 32 posts

#dw spoilers - 30 posts

#writing - 26 posts

#stranger things spoilers - 15 posts

#aes - 13 posts

Longest Tag: 130 characters

#i love this show but it really feels like the duffer brothers never grew up past their 'i'm a victim bc im a nerd' teenage mindset

My Top Posts in 2022:

See the full post

8 notes - Posted November 10, 2022

thinking about an entire generation of young queer DW fans getting “I wish this would go on forever” tattoos

19 notes - Posted April 17, 2022

URGENT HELP NEEDED

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27 notes - Posted October 5, 2022

Reckless Truth

When they were children, their brother was stolen and their mother killed. Elyan and Lydia Moore have dedicated their lives to finding out what really happened that night, and where their brother was taken – but the truth will throw them into chaos they could never predict.

Genre | Urban Fantasy, LGBTQ+

POV | Third Person Limited

Target Audience | New Adult

Themes | Grief, trauma, found family, self-discovery, death, love, identity, anger and kindness

Warnings | Violence, abuse, brainwashing, sexual themes

BUY THE BOOK ON AMAZON NOW! AVAILABLE WORLDWIDE IN PAPERBACK AND KINDLE!

THE CHARACTERS

Lydia: A high school dropout turned gun-for-hire, she never considered herself much more than the muscle of the operation. She has a fierce temper and an itchy trigger finger, but she only does what she feels is necessary to keep Elyan safe. Despite their differences, they take care of each other in a way only they know how, and Lydia is happy where she is as long as she’s there with her brother.

Elyan: An ex-detective battling with the trauma his childhood left him with. Soft and patient, he dedicates his time to helping others find their missing family members – in-between searching for his own, of course. He works behind the scenes, his strengths laying in security and tech, and he is fiercely protective of his little sister, Lydia.

Tori: One of the children who went missing with the Moores’ brother, Tori is a grown woman now; and powerful beyond belief. Despite her anxiety and the deep-rooted insecurity her upbringing has left her with, Tori is fierce when her loved ones are threatened, and will do anything for them. A healer, and a true modern-day Snow White, she cares little for herself – but for others she will always be there to lend a helping hand or a shoulder to cry on.

Erik: A deafmute genderqueer soldier. Another kidnapped child, Erik was hardened and traumatised by his upbringing. He cares about one thing and one thing alone: keep Tori safe. Or, at least, that’s what he wants you to think. The muscle to Tori’s mind, Erik knows what it is to be lost and hurt and outcast; and will always vouch for the underdog. He loves you for who you are, and will always be the first to step in if you need help; even if he doesn’t want to.

30 notes - Posted January 16, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

1,782 notes - Posted October 20, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#tumblr2022 #year in review #my 2022 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review #the fact that one of these is an e-begging post is really fuckin sad #but i'm glad two posts about my novel got on here!!!

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ashesandhackles · 3 years

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Harry And Personal Conflict: A Meta On Evolving Dynamic With Ron and Hermione

One of my last metas on Harry was how his abuse at the Dursleys informed who he is as a person and a lot of his main personality traits. This time, I want to explore Harry's relationship with conflict, mostly in regard to his best friends - Ron and Hermione.

First things first, because of his abusive upbringing where he is constantly in conflict with his caregivers, conflict is seen as Bad Thing when we first meet him as a 11 year old. And it informs how he reacts to both Ron and Hermione at first. He instantly relates to Ron because Ron is an underdog - a boy who feels neglected and passed over in his large and boisterous family. Harry shares his own experience of neglect with Ron and they both bond instantly.

His initial impression of Hermione is that she has a "bossy sort of voice" . The bossiness is an important characterstic to his impression of her - she reminds him of an authority figure and he does not particularly take to her as easily as he does Ron. Before the troll incident, he is frequently annoyed by her interventions because "he can't believe anyone would be so interfering". It's her vulnerability and the fact that she may be in danger that makes Harry, and by extension Ron, go after her. And she pays it back in full with a demonstration of loyalty to them in front of people she wants to impress: teachers. This sets the tone of his friendship with Ron and Hermione.

There is sense of easiness to his friendship with Ron, especially in earlier books that he doesn't quite share with Hermione. This is a bit gendered as well, of course. His relationship with Hermione evolves as Ron's own equation with two of them changes, more specifically Ron's cognisance of his romantic feelings for Hermione. So how does this inform his relationship with personal conflict?

Let's look at it Book wise.

Book 1-4: Since Harry tends to see All Conflict As Bad, when Hermione becomes his friend, he tends to ignore traits of her that he particularly doesn't take to. Specifically her argumentativeness - which he usually leaves Ron to deal with. For example, look at when Hermione drags him off to the kitchens in GOF. When he realises what this is about, he nudges Ron, and Ron does the protesting: "Hermione, you are trying to rope us into that spew stuff again!".

Often, you can say he is amused by Ron's more ..let's say colourful.. reactions to Hermione being overbearing. So when Ron and him are not speaking and Hermione gets a Quidditch term wrong, it causes him "a pang to imagine Ron's expression of he could have heard Hermione talking about Wonky Faints". It's that deeply ingrained into the dynamic.

While Ron acts buffer and protects Harry from stepping into a potential conflict ("skip the lecture", "don't nag" he tells her), Harry's world view remains quite the same. Part of Harry's growing up is integrating conflicting points of view and gaining nuance. For example, he can't understand why someone like Snape, who seems to hate him so much, can also save his life at the end of Philosopher's Stone. This is his first venture into trying to integrate two conflicting things about a person into nuance. Dumbledore gives him a very easily digestible story, one that appeals to his ideal of his father and Harry is sated.

Again, Harry's world view is tested when he finds out that he relates with Tom Riddle - for their "strange likenesses". He doth protest too much at Dumbledore's office: "I don't think I am like him! I am Gryffindor!". And Dumbledore offers him a wisdom nugget: "It's our choices which define who we are" (paraphrasing). Harry is uncomfortable that he empathises with Tom Riddle, his parents' murderer, at this point in the story.

In the first four books, his only proper personal conflict has been with Ron.

It is depressing to think about in these terms - but Ron is Harry's first experience of unconditional love (we can even put Hagrid here, but he is not the one who spends most time with Harry). And when Ron and him fight, Harry is so hurt by the prospect that he proceeds to abandon Ron before Ron abandons him. (the whole chucking a "Potter stinks" badge at him and making a jab about having a scar is what he wants, or the fight in DH where he yells "then leave! Pretend you have gotten over your spattergoit and have your mummy feed you up"). It's an interesting defense mechanism and he feels "corrosive hatred" towards Ron during these times because Ron and him aren't supposed to be like this. Ron is a certainty in his life. It's also why when Ron comes back, Harry either doesn't need him to apologise (as in GOF) or quickly forgives him in DH - although I do think Harry thinks the locket bit was punishment enough. But even without the whole locket, I think Harry has trouble holding Ron accountable in general beyond few slaps on the wrist - especially if Ron and he are on good terms.

5th Book: This is the transition point for Golden Trio friendship. Harry has come back from an immensely traumatising night at the graveyard and his PTSD isolates him from his best friends. This is also the point where Ron, especially after GOF, is aware of his romantic feelings for Hermione ("the perfume is unusual Ron", Hermione tells him in this book). So in this book, we often see Ron and Hermione on one side, with Harry on the other.

Ron is unwilling (quite like Harry in that respect) to engage him in a direct conflict, but he is also unwilling to shield him from Hermione's nagging in this book. This is why, OOTP is the book where you see Harry ignore or avoid Hermione and lie to her more than usual to avoid conflict. For example, he tells her that Snape thinks he can carry on Occlumency once he got the basics - that is categorically not what happened. Or the entire day he spends ignoring Hermione's warnings about breaking into Umbridge's office. (The description here is comical - about Hermione vehemently hissing so much that Seamus Finnigan is checking his cauldron for leaks. ) If he cannot lie to her or avoid her, at the end of the rope, he will treat her to display of his frightening temper.

Interestingly, OOTP is also the book that his world view goes through a tremendous upheaval: mainly, his ideal of his father and having empathy for Snape. It is unnerving for Harry to see Snape being the "boy who cried in the corner" when his father shouts at a cowering woman. Similarly unnerving is that his intense empathy for him - "he knew exactly what Snape felt when his father taunted him and judging by what he had seen, his father was every bit as arrogant as Snape always told him".

While he is placated that his father grew out of it, this memory of his father being a bully is something he cannot bear to watch again in DH. Few chapters later, he grins at Ron "sweeping his hair" back to make it look more windswept, just like his father - suggesting that Harry is beginning to integrate two conflicting things he knew about his father: from the people who loved him vs the people he was cruel to.

6th Book onwards: It's interesting to me that his better appreciation for Hermione comes after OOTP (one, because she is the one who challenged the whole Ministry plan and she followed him into a trap knowing it was one anyway) but also the timing of it is in line with Harry having a more nuanced understanding of his father. He struggled to hold conflicting information about him into one cohesive person - the boy who was a bully vs the man who joins Order of Phoenix to fight a war he could very well have sat out. The pedestal crashing helped Harry gain nuance (he thinks of his father and mother with pride in HBP - of them walking into an arena with head held high). HBP also sets up his deeper understanding with Snape in DH. There is lovely meta by about this by thedreamersmusing. Read it here. HBP is also the book he feels "sorry" for Voldemort and also feels "reluctant admiration" for him - both of things he is less defensive about.

And this nuance informs his relationship with conflicts - especially the kind he has with Hermione. He is more confrontational with her and does not lie or sneak around her as much as he did in OOTP in the Half Blood Prince. ("Finished? Or do you want to see if it does back flips?" He asks her when she takes the book from him to check if it's jinxed. Or the "I hope you enjoy yourself" he calls out irritably when she declares intention to find out who HBP is. And "do you want to rub it in Hermione? How do you think I feel now?" He tells her when she says she was right about HBP).

The fact that he is willing to be confrontational with her is a big step in his character - a step up from his unregulated outbursts in OOTP, which is a function of him not knowing how to put his anger across in normal ways. He is also more willing to stand up for her in front of Ron too - "You could say sorry" he tells Ron bluntly. This is in contrast to his more quiet standing up for her in POA: "Can't you give her a break?" Harry asked him quietly. In POA, he lets the subject drop after Ron flatly refuses. Here, he presses on more : "What did you have to imitate her for?" "She laughed at moustache!" "So did I, it's the stupidest thing I have ever seen".

His relationship with Ron is an interesting contrast to his relationship with Hermione, which functionally teaches a very important lesson for an abused child who thought all conflicts are bad: That his friendship with her is challenging, and frustrating, filled with conflicts but their love for each other isn't disputed. It's a very important thing for brain development in general - to hold conflicting information in one space. The defense mechanism abused children do to avoid this is called splitting.

So, Ron allows Harry to be the age he is: a teenager and it's foundation for his further development, and Hermione teaches him how to be an adult, and therefore, spurs his growth. (In esoteric terms, if you look at Ron and Hermione as proxy parents - Ron is the Mother archetype, the one who offers unconditional love. Hermione is the Father archetype - one who demands best of him, and guides him).

Additional reading: Harry, Prongs and Prince - Harry's Inner Struggles For Forging An Identity. By u/metametatron4

Harry Identifies, and Reluctantly Admires Snape Even Before The Prince's Tale by thedreamersmusing

#harry james potter #hp meta #harry potter character analysis #hp character analysis #golden trio #golden trio analysis #harry x ron x hermione #harry and ron #harry and hermione #ron x Hermione #severus snape #james Potter #harry potter #tom riddle #albus percival wulfric brian dumbledore #albus dumbledore #metas #harry potter and order of phoenix #harry Potter and half blood Prince

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bondsmagii · 3 years

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People will say censorship is bad and everyone will act like you’re trying to defend the movie Cuties or some shit (you know, the movie where the child actors had to perform very sexual dances amongst other stuff)

see, this is what I'm talking about exactly, actually. Cuties, the film by a Sengalese-French director with a traditional Muslim upbringing, based on her personal experiences and that was intended to criticise the oversexualisation of young girls? the film that had supervision and assistance available at all times to monitor the child actresses (whose parents were present and activists themselves) and ensure their well-being, and like all films featuring children in acting roles, would have been subjected to constant supervision and checks by people whose sole job is to safeguard the children's welfare?

the film that was attacked and criticised for sexualising children, when it was Netflix who decided to advertise it using an overly sexual promotional poster rather than its original, intended poster?:

the film that follows a young girl at odds with her traditional Muslim upbringing, who joins a dance troupe formed of other girls her age that, in a quest to find success, feels they have to wear revealing outfits and use sexually suggestive dance moves? who feel they have no other choice but to do this? who thinks she wants to do it until realising that she's been exploited and feeling ashamed and traumatised by the whole thing?

this is exactly what I mean. this film was slammed because of an outside host's decision to make an inappropriate promotional poster, and for those people who actually watched it, they felt so uncomfortable with the content that they felt they had to attack the film and essentially accuse a woman who has lived through large chunks of these experiences herself of supporting child exploitation and sexualisation. nobody stops to consider the fact that this is supposed to make you feel uncomfortable. sometimes art and film and literature is not supposed to be a fluffy coffee shop queer love story. it's supposed to disturb, to teach, to make you think. it's supposed to make you experience unpleasant emotions, so the suffering of those being represented is made real to you. you are supposed to feel shock, and horror, and anger, and grief. you cannot truly hope to empathise with another's injustice if you do not.

anyone who seeks a better society but refuses to engage with the reasons why the society needs to be improved because it makes them feel uncomfortable is an embarrassment. children are being exploited, and people are clutching their pearls because a movie poster made them feel squicky? grow up. to be a healthy, well-rounded person with the emotional fortitude and empathy required to help improve the world, you need to expose yourself to discomfort. your coffee shop AUs might help your friends feel better after a shitty day, but they're not helping change anything in the long run. pick up a book. watch a film. get out of your comfort zone and feel something for someone else for once.

#anon #asks

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scriptcriminaljustice · 2 years

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Generally it seems that traumatised women respond better to females than males. What would be assumed/done if one or two such characters acted the opposite? Could it take awhile to even notice if effort was made to keep male officers/doctors/nurses etc away? What might be some reasons for this? Would it be assumed there's actually an important reason or just outlier? IE. Perpetrator = female? Could upbringing/background be the reason? IE. Raised by all male family.

Trauma triggers can latch on the smallest details that can take a while to identify, even for those who are looking for them. The arrival of an abuser is accompaniment with the sound of the garage door opener and now the sound is a trigger. The smell of eggs in the morning if someone was force to make eggs for their rapist. Someone was abused by a woman may now be trigger by other women.

Unfortunately, people often dismiss the notion that woman can be abusive, especially towards their partners, and as such it may take a while for other people to notice that you character wary or fearful towards women. But if the background of the abused is releveled then it may help with understanding why they are acting that way.

#trauma #trigger #abuse

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sapiowoman28 · 3 years

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Chaos Part 2: Cool? How?

Pairing: Haechan x Ally Noona

Genre: friends to lovers au, smut, fluff

Warning: Mentions of sex, but there’s no smut in this part.

Tags: @nctlover94

Note: pls read the rewritten part 1 first

Except for Renjun, they all woke up with hangovers the next day.

“Ha! You fools!” Renjun wriggled his finger judgingly at all of them looking miserable at 2pm in the afternoon, after their next door neighbour decided Saturday was the perfect day to drill stuff into his walls, waking all of them up.

“I can’t believe he’s still drilling!” Haechan whined. “I feel like my head is getting drilled!”

“Next time don’t drink so much!” Renjun nagged.

“What’s a party with no alcohol?” Jaemin pouted. “You need to get as much booze in your system to have the maximum amount of fun.”

“I don’t think having to watch Hendery and Lucas running naked across the lawn counts as fun.” Rejun huffed.

“Oh come on! I won $100 from Yang Yang for being able to convince them to do that in less than 10 minutes!” Haechan protested.

“Mark looked so traumatised,” Jaemin’s girlfriend chuckled as she attempted to stuff some pizza into her mouth.

“Not as traumatised as when he found me in his bed naked with a hot older woman,” Haechan wriggled his eyebrows.

Renjun slapped the back of his head.

“Ow!” Haechan shoved Renjun. “What the hell?”

“I don’t want to know the details, Haechan,” Renjun huffed.

“But I do!” Jaemin’s girlfriend grinned. Jaemin nodded and Renjun looked esaperatedly at them.

“Nothing happened. We had sex. We cuddled. Mark found us when he came to get his expensive bottle of whiskey and threw us out of his room.” Haechan shrugged. “Then she went to hang with her friends and Yang Yang and I thought of something fun to do. And that’s how you saw Lucas and Hendery naked.”

Renjun shook his head.

“Speaking of which, have you asked Yang Yang if he’d like to move in with us? We need to find someone for the spare room you know.” Jaemin said.

Haechan let out a dramatic sigh.

“He refuses to live in the same house as you!” he said dramatically, pointing to Jaemin’s girlfriend, who shrugged. It wasn’t surprising since she once dated Yang Yang but dumped him for Lucas. This was all before she dated Jaemin.

“I’m sure we’ll find someone.” Jaemin said.

“We might even have 2 empty rooms if Jeno keeps staying with his girlfriend.” Renjun sighed.

“If my girlfriend had a house like hers I’d stay there too instead of this junk of a place.” Haechan gesticulated to their crammed abode. “One day, I’ll make so much money, I’ll buy a house we ALL can stay in.”

The guys groaned, having heard this one too many times from Haechan.

“What? Don’t you want to become rich? There’d be so many things you can buy. The cars you could drive, the holidays you could go on...” Haechan defended himself.

“I don’t know about you. But I think you’re still high from the alcohol yesterday.” Jaemin said.

“Surprise!” Haechan said excitedly, uncovering Ally’s eyes.

She looked at the car before her, gleaming in the sunlight, looking all polished and new.

“Wow,” she said. “I didn’t know.”

“Didn’t know what?” he asked.

“That you raced.” she smiled looking at him.

“I don’t.”

“Then why do you need an expensive sports car?” she asked as they got into the car.

Haechan shrugged. “It’s cool i guess?”

“Cool? How? To whom?” she looked at him almost challengingly now.

For once, Haechan had no answers.

“Cool to me.” he finally said as he started the engine. “I want to be proud of what I drive.”

“But you’re still a student. How are you going to pay the car loans?” she asked, increasingly concerned.

“I got some money from investing.”

She almost heaved a sigh of relief. “So the car is fully paid?”

“I got enough for the downpayment and 3 months of instalments.”

She turned to him in shock.

“Haechan! You have to return this car! You can’t afford it!”

“But I’ll lose the down payment!” he whined.

“You can’t afford it!” she repeated, frowning. This date was sure taking a wrong turn.

“I’ll figure something out.”

“Like what?”

“Noona, trust me!” he pouted. She turned to look out the window, in a bit to be more measured with her words. He started to panic slightly. This wasn’t going well.

“You’re upset.” he said, softly.

“I’m not.” she said, equally gently, turning to look at him.. “I’m just… really disappointed.”

He was silent, focussing on the road, taking a right turn into the lane that would bring them to the beach. He really didn’t know what to say.

“Listen.” he finally said. “If you’ve changed your mind about getting to know me, I can understand. I can drop you off back home…”

She sighed, covering his mouth.

“Are you always this dramatic? I still want to know you even though you clearly have no clue what you’re doing with your money.”

He relaxed, wriggling his eyebrows. “You can’t resist this handsome face, can you?”

She burst out laughing.

They watched the sunset together. She made him feel relaxed. She asked him about college, about his family, about his life. He told her as much as he could. Occasionally she dropped little nuggets of information about herself, and he couldn’t believe how much in common they had. The strict upbringing. The rules they had to adhere to as children of religious parents.. The fun they had secretly with their friends. Their lives now.

“I don’t want to be an ordinary person,” Haechan said. “I want to be someone different. Someone people look up to.”

She chuckled.

“What about you, Noona?”

“I just want to live.” she said rather cryptically. He wanted to ask her what she meant, but her phone rang.

“My housemate forgot her house keys.” she said. “I need to go back.”

“Will you go out with me again?”

“I would like that.” she said, smiling. “I want to know everything about you.”

“The funny thing is,” he said, as he touched her cheek. “I feel as if I’ve known you forever.”

The news that Haechan and Ally were dating spread like wildfire, mostly because Haechan insisted on clinging on to her like a love sick puppy. Well, he was mostly there by her side to tease her, but it was also obvious that he had a huge crush on her. And because she was older than him some people found it entertaining to talk about.it. Yang Yang even started taking bets on how long it’d be before Ally would get sick of Haechan’s nonsense and start avoiding him.

“The thing is,” Jeno’s girlfriend May said. “They’re kind of cute together.”

“Oh come on! Haechan has the attention span of a 5 year old!” Renjun huffed. “I’m worried about her getting hurt.”

“I think you should worry about Haechan first. The thing with that car. What was he thinking?” Jeno shook his head. “Someone needs to talk some sense into him.”

“You know,” Jaemin grinned. “I think we found the right person to speak to him.”

They watched as Ally came into the cafeteria with Haechan in tow, teasing her about something she wasn’t very amused about. She glared at him and he smiled sweetly at her, before crushing her in an embrace.

“I feel so sorry for her.” Jeno muttered.

“Me too.” Renjun agreed.

“You guys don’t know what you’re talking about! I see a match made in heaven right there,” May said, clapping her hands.

She was working on her final year project when he visited her in the art studio. She looked happy to see him and got up immediately to plant a kiss on his cheek, since her coursemates had taken a break to go get some snacks and she was alone in the studio for the next 20 minutes at least.

Haechan looked at the painting she was working on. This was just a trial, to see if what she planned would come out good. If it worked, she was going to start on her piece next week.

“It’s beautiful,” he gasped.

“Thanks. I might make some tweaks.” she said, accessing her own work with a critical eye. “I don’t think it’s good enough.”

“What’s good enough?” he asked, clearly not agreeing with her.

She had no answers for him.

“I just feel...it’s not great.” she explained. “I pale in comparison with some of the rest.”

“Noona, what you feel isn’t necessarily reality. You keep saying you’re not good at art. In fact, you said it 3 times in the week I’ve known you. But I know a lot of people like Renjun who think you’re really talented.”

“Haechan…” she sighed. “You don’t understand.”

“What don’t I understand?” Haechan asked.

“I need to keep striving for perfection or I’ll never improve.” she said. “And I really need to do well enough for post grad.”

“Maybe there is a different way to strive for excellence.” he shrugged. “I have to go now. I have a lecture. Think about it, ok?”

She nodded her head, watching him leave after planting a kiss on her forehead. Perhaps he was right. Perhaps she needed a new perspective on things. The past year had been a struggle. She never told anyone. And she was surprised Haechen noticed within a week..

When she first saw him across the room at the party, she could tell he was a smart and lively guy, and despite his initial awkwardness, he was turning out who she expected him to be, perhaps even more. Ok, his choice in automobiles was downright stupid. But beyond that, he was a sharp guy, and that made her more and more attracted to him. He noticed little things about her that she herself didn’t even notice, and the way he looked at her when they sometimes had their serious heart to hearts made her melt.

She just hoped she was able to challenge him to think of looking at things differently like how he was challenging her. She was very sure they were in each other’s lives for a reason, and she was excited to see where things would go.

#lee haechan smut #haechan smut #nct haechan smut #lee donghyuck smut #donghyuck smut #nct dream smut #nct smut #nct dream imagines #nct jaemin #nct jeno #nct renjun #wayv lucas #wayv hendery #wayv yangyang

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rocinawanda · 3 years

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The Expanse - 6x01

Here we are, the final season has begun. I am both excited and devastated. SPOILERS.

First things first, fuck Marco Inaros. FUCK Marco Inaros. He was terrible before obviously, killing millions. But I truly hate him now for putting my favourite people through this horrible war. Everyone is broken and traumatised. Our poor Roci crew they all look exhausted and have been fighting for 6 months.

Focusing on the Rocinante, things are hard. Naomi is still feeling intense guilt over Alex’s death plus her experience on the Chetzemoka has her more cautious and worried for everyone. The scene with Jim near the drive plume, stop I could feel the fear she must’ve been in I almost cried. Then we have Amos and Clarissa (who is just doing her best). I fully understand the awkwardness and slight hostility towards Clarissa but c’mon she isn’t a threat anymore nor Alex’s replacement, we need synergy across our team. Hopefully soon.

Moving to Chrisjen and Bobbie on Earth. So the last 6 months have brought about 200 individual rock strikes against Earth, millions dying and the problems with the biosphere? I’ll be honest, I underestimated just how ‘dead’ Marco wanted Earth. He wants it gone, barren and desolate. Wiped out of the solar system with nothing left. How is there any coming back from this?

We have Drummer who has a bounty on her head and dwindling resources. I worry about her so much and wonder where she could go that she would be safe. Losing more of the belter fam won’t be easy either, I really wish she could join the Rocinante.

I have to mention Filip as he was shown so much in this episode and I pretty much hate him. A true product of his upbringing I wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt last season as he was reconnecting with Naomi but after hitting her he lost any sympathy I had for him. That continues in this episode with him treating that bartender woman like shit and killing his friend! Seriously wtf. He’s having regrets now? Fighting himself with the “I’m a hero and everyone worships me” versus “I’m a loser murderer and no one chants my name”. Should be interesting to see the fallout of his story.

So much else happened in the cracks as per usual like the little girl on Ring #673 Planet 2 ‘Laconia’ with the cool animals, Amos wants to kill Marco and finding the Free Navy spotter but this post is already long. Alas season 6 is here and it is 6 episodes. I’m sad I don’t want this show to end but it must. Funnily enough the finale coincides with my birthday week so that will be fun.

#the expanse season 6 #the expanse #6x01 #strange dogs #naomi nagata #james holden #amos burton #chrisjen avasarala #the rocinante #marco inaros

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dottiechan · 3 years

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minaryah is so beautiful! do you have any HC or backstory for her? i love togruta’s so much they’re my favorite species!

Thank you so much for being interested in Minaryah! 💙 I have a few thoughts about her I can totally share with you!

(I put my headcanons below a cut because this list got a little too long haha)

Minaryah comes from a huge family, and while she's had a traditional Sith upbringing, she had a loving home growing up. Family-wise she's my least traumatised OC which is saying a lot haha.

She's not needlessly cruel, but she will adhere to Sith customs and rules. Challenge her and you're pretty much done for.

Then Vette comes along and makes her question everything she's believed in. Through her eyes, Mina starts to understand the problematic parts of a systems she's helped maintain.

She also desperately falls in love with Vette, but it's unrequited, and she chalks it up as just another lesson from Vette.

Mina drinks her respect women juice regularly (it has nothing to do with her being a lesbian, but it most certainly helps). Be like Mina.

The Alliance is where she truly finds herself, and though she's happy to let someone else else take the reins (namingly my BH Mrir'nittha'rrina), she finds purpose here. Being manipulated by Baras and then becoming Vitiate's executioner have been her most traumatic experiences, but the fight against Valkorion helps her heal.

She's actually a decent military leader. She's either constantly training or strategising and drawing up battle plans with Quinn and Jorgan in her freetime.

If Hylo and her are in the same room, expect trouble. They were fast friends from the moment they first met, and have come up with some crazy ideas that caused the Commander some sleepless nights.

This woman... God, not to gush over her so much but Mina... She can be so soft when you get to know her. She's afraid of Being Perceived, but if she lets you in...

I know, I know, 6 feet tall and super strong, but she's the little spoon. Always. A big softie is what she is. Someone please play with her lekku while cuddling her. She deserves it.

#dottiechan asks #anonymous #swtor #oc:#minaryah #swtor sith warrior #my babyyyy #I love her #thank you so much for asking about her nonny! 💙#and sorry for taking my sweet time answering 🙊

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melancholymaz · 4 years

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UNFORESEEN (3)

Pairing: Natasha Romanoff x fem!reader (past), Natasha Romanoff x Steve Rogers, Wanda Maximoff x Reader, Tony Stark x reader.

Warnings: Steve x Natasha fluff and angst, reader x Natasha fluff also reader on a date!

Summary: Y/N starts to move on from her relationship with Natasha, but Natasha can’t help but be stuck in a pit of despair as things start coming back to her.

The early morning sun peeks through the blinds, the sound of cars and early birds come through the large windows. A strong arm sits on her waist as the large body lays behind her, his hot breath fanning on the back of her neck, a feeling sits deep in her body, a feeling of regret and guilt. Guilt for feeling content in that moment considering the heartbreak she caused to be in that situation. The red head knows that the other members of the team ask themselves if she feels bad for what she did to Y/N, and the answer has always been the same. Yes. She thinks about it every day, and can still see the pain in the Y/C/Hs eyes when she saw the couple together for the first, and tears spring to her eyes if she always thinks about it for too long. It’s been 6 months since the gala where Y/N admitted to Natasha she was going to propose. Natasha may have another body to love and appreciate, but she never forgets the woman who not only she loved but who loved her back with no regrets. The way she loves Steve is so completely different to the way she loved Y/N. Steve and her’s relationship was built off of getting through a bad time together, finding a new light to see and really seeing who that person really was. But with Y/N, it was meeting someone by accident, them getting to know a complete fake, then still trusting and finding love in someone despite finding out about their real past. Steve knew Natasha’s past wasn’t pretty and that loving someone like her was going to be difficult and Natasha would be lying if she said Steve didn’t struggle to love her properly, but with Y/N it almost came effortlessly for her to love Nat, she handled every nightmare, bad days and Natasha’s distant time-periods almost perfectly and never made Natasha feel bad for the consequences of her traumatising upbringing. Steve can sometimes get frustrated when Nat gets distant after a bad mission, and Nat would sometimes find herself staring at the elevator button to Y/N’s floor contemplating on whether or not she should take comfort from her ex lover, knowing that Y/N would hold her for days despite her own pain.

“Good morning Nat.” Steve’s thick with sleep voice interrupts her thinking, rolling her over and she can’t help but smile at his bed hair and sleepy grin.

“Good morning Captain.” She replies, giving him a sweet kiss before wrapping her arms around his neck to hold him closer, pressing soft kisses to his neck and shoulders. “Pancakes?”

“Pancakes.”

Y/N sits in the booth of a dim lit diner, lightly sipping her soda as the brunette woman across from her continues to chatter on about something Y/N lost interest in minutes ago.

“And that’s why I decided to become a vet!” Lucy, Y/N guesses, concludes her story, clapping once before shoving a handful of fries into her mouth with little to no gracefulness. Y/N smiles and nods, before subtly looking down at her phone, sending a SOS message to the group chat including Wanda and Tony, the two people responsible as to why she was on her fifth date that month.

Smelly 🦠

Please come save me

Lucy then starts to go on about her pet rat, and Y/N couldn’t be more grateful that Tony had replied 10 minutes later, the fastest he’s replied in forever.

Toeknee 💸

We’re out front sweet cheeks

Y/N mentally cringes at the situation she’s put herself in, she hates to be that girl on the date that leaves so abruptly, but this date had been the worst she had ever been on and could not stand to be in that mangey diner any longer.

“Look Lucy-”

“Lauren.”

“Lauren, I’m sorry, but I really have to leave, there’s been an emergency at home and I got to go sort it out.” Y/N offers, smiling awkwardly, not even giving Lauren a chance to reply before she slaps down enough cash to pay for the bill plus a generous tip, before dashing out the diner doors straight into Tony’s car. She sits back and takes a deep breath before she opens her eyes to see Tony’s and Wandas amused grins staring back at her.

“You guys are jerks.” Y/N chuckles as the other two laugh, Tony reversing out of the parking spot before driving back home. It’s not long before she’s falling into her bed and putting on her favourite TV show, falling asleep quickly as it plays in the background.

Natasha, however, couldn’t believe what she was hearing, her heart was pounding in her chest, and she couldn’t really see past the tears in her bright green eyes. Her mouth opens and closes, trying to find the words to say to the tall blonde in front of her.

“W-What?” She stutters, she can feel her throat close up, and now she realises that if this was bad, what had Y/N felt when Natasha had completely shattered your heart?

“I can’t do this anymore Nat, I just don’t see us working long-term.” Steve says quietly, running a hand down his face. “I knew I shouldn’t have let it get as far as it has.”

“Are you being fucking serious right now?” Natasha’s angry at that comment, she couldn’t believe the nerve that Steve had. “From the get-go you didn’t believe it was going to go very far? So you let me destroy my relationship knowing it wasn’t going to be worth it? I thought this could have been different Steve! I loved you!”

“I’m sorry, okay?!” He replies, not wanting Natasha to get too angry that the rest of the Avengers would come to see what’s going on, seeming how it’s 12am on a Wednesday and nearly everyone would be asleep besides vision, Tony and Bruce maybe.

“Sorry isn’t going to cut it Steve!” Natasha shouts, she falls back to sit on the chair behind her, holding her face in her hands as she takes in what just happened. “Oh my god i’m such an idiot!”

Before the tears start coming down like a waterfall, she quickly takes her leave, leaving Steve standing there feeling just as guilty. Natasha tries to keep her emotions at bay but she can’t help it, as the elevator door’s open on your floor she can’t help but let the sobs rack through her body, her hand shaking as she reaches up to knock twice on the bedroom door. Natasha hears a ruffling of blankets and light footsteps before the door swings open, Y/N’s once half asleep eyes now fully aware of a sobbing Natasha with her arms wrapped around herself tightly. Y/N immediately pulls her into her bedroom, shutting the door behind her before pulling the red-head to her chest. Natasha’s sobs become louder and stronger, and Y/N can’t help but want to wrap her up in a million blankets and hold her forever if it meant Natasha never cried like this again in her lifetime. Y/N gently rubs Natasha’s back, whispering gentle words in her ear until she starts to calm down. Y/N gently picks Nat up, carrying her to the bed, laying her down and pulling the blanket over her before climbing back into her side of the bed, pulling a sniffling Natasha into her arms once again.

“I’m so sorry Y/N.” Natasha’s weak voice whispers into the dark room, resting her head on Y/N’s chest, listening to the calm beating of Y/N’s heart.

“Never apologise to me, Nat. I know it wasn’t a nightmare, so what happened?” Y/N replies gently, combing her fingers along Nat’s scalp, knowing it would calm her down the easiest.

“Steve broke up with me, said he shouldn’t have let our relationship go as far as it did.” Nat says after a few moments of silence, now regretting running to her ex about the man she left her for.

“I’m sorry sweetheart.” Y/N replies sympathetically, pressing her lips to her head. “You know I’ll always be here for you, no matter what.”

“I still don’t understand how you’re treating me so well after what i did, especially now that it happened for nothing.” Natasha admits, slowly moving her arm to sit over Y/N’s body.

“It was a very shitty thing to do, and I’d be lying if I said I was over it. But I still love you more than anything, and I think that there could be us again potentially in the future.” Y/N says simply, wrapping her arms tighter around Natasha as she readjusts to lay down. “But we’ll talk about that another day, okay? Get some rest love, I’ll still be here with you in the morning.”

Natasha smiles softly, whispering as she lets sleep take over her tired body. “Goodnight, Y/N, Thank you.”

A/N: Ahhhh I couldn’t help but end it in fluff!! I hope you guys enjoyed this part!

#natasha romanoff x reader #imagine natasha romanoff #black widow x reader #steve rogers x natasha romanoff #wanda maximoff x reader #tony stark x reader #avengers x reader #scarlett johansson x reader

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