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tender-hearteddd · 1 year

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𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐛𝐞𝐫𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐥𝐝𝐭 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐲 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞𝐬 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐬𝐦𝐢𝐥𝐞

bertholdt x fem!reader

modern au, college au, established relationship, slight music nerd bertholdt, bertholdt is above 6’4, reiner ships you and bert so hard (´◡`)

wc - 4.0k

warnings - kissing, overthinking, insecurities abt relationship, kinda bad 😭

a/n - wrote this on a whim when i was on my work break so it’s not the best 🙁 unedited and kinda messy

bertholdt loves it when it's just you two.

having his head cuddled between your plush thighs as you play with his brunette shag you hoped he never cut - watching the princess diaries in a comfortable silence you two shared so often that came with a growing mutual understanding of your budding relationship. he kisses the side of your plush thigh once in awhile when you run your hands over the side of his head in that way you always do when youre positioned like this on nights like these - when reiner is gone slaving away at practice right before the big game and it's just you two showering each other with affection.

that's until reiner comes back to his shared apartment with his best friend of over 5 years.

"reiner!" bertholdt slightly yelled like it was bloody murder. bertholdt quickly stood up, getting his abnormally big head (and big body) away from your thighs trying to act like nothing was happening - which was exactly happening. bertholdt accidentally pulled you off the couch as he frantically got up, a thud coming under you and a sympathetic look coming from bertholdt. sure - bertholdt loves showering you with his affection, but he'll never actually parade it in front of others, including the person who has seen him naked several times.

"what are you doing here?" he stupidly asked like him and reiner haven’t been living together for a whole year now.

"oh you know - coming back to my lovely home after a long day at practice.” reiner explains as he drops his gym bag and take off his sneakers, not acknowledging his best friends awkwardness to make him and you feel better.

it’s been a routine for the past couple of months. he’ll come home, see you and bertholdt cuddling, lost in your own world, and bertholdt being abruptly deported from his own little world with you whenever reiner appears into the living room.

reiner finds it slightly entertaining, not just how embarrassed bertholdt gets but the way bertholdt can easily be this close to you; you’ve created your own world with each other, speaking a language only you and bertholdt can understand. sure bertholdt’s awkward tendencies get in the way of him showing his love for you but reiner can see the way you love each other when he sees you two giggle at the plural form of ball.

and when you scold him for eating peanuts ever since he found out he was allergic to them because during your guys first date, they brought out a bowl of peanuts as an appetizer and apparently peanuts aren’t supposed to hurt your mouth like that (yet he still eats them).

and when he makes CDs for you filled with the static noise he calls music reiner and annie can’t stand yet you somehow like it.

and when you made reiner secretly steal all his pants one by one so you could tailor them to fit into his long legs.

and when bertholdt loves you to the point where he creates and you love him to the point where you can invent.

and when bertholdt gets too lost in his head, and reiner or annie never know what to do, but somehow you’re the only who could find him, and when bertholdt makes sure you don’t ever get lost, ever.

and when reiner comes home, after a long day at football practice, and he catches a quick glimpse into your shared world with bertholdt, speaking your own language, and he sees how he becomes you and you become him in the way you two hold each other. reiner likes this bertholdt, don’t get him wrong, he also likes awkward bertholdt a lot as well but he knows bertholdt is a lot more than an awkward sweaty lanky mess. he’s just happy that bertholdt has someone to be himself around - even his awkward self. and reiner would totally try pushing bertholdt to be more comfortable with holding you in front of others but right now, he smells like wet grass and total ass and he can’t feel his legs; trying to push bertholdt out of his box will have to wait.

apart, scratch that, a good chunk of you finds it insulting. like him being your boy and you being his girl is hell on earth. you know bertholdt loves you. of course he does! you’re his own prayer. but sometimes - he gets up a little too fast whenever reiner comes home, and it makes you do the unthinkable; overthink.

which is exactly what you’re doing right now as bertholdt helps you up the floor and you could feel his once dry palm, which he used to play with the side of your thighs as you played with his hair, now moist do to his nervousness. you sighed under your breath and grabbed your jacket and bag from the front door.

“alright, gonna take this as my sign to leave.” you said avoiding eye contact with bertholdt and reiner while zipping up your jacket.

bertholdt knows you’re annoyed. and he knows you’ll tell him that it’s fine.

“good luck tomorrow reiner!” you yelled as you were making your way out the door.

“wait!” bertholdt ran after you, swiftly putting on his house slippers, “let me walk you out!” bertholdt grabbed the top of the door frame preventing it from slamming, ducked his tall body under the door frame, and gently closed the door making sure he wouldn’t bother reiner.

you waited for him as he jogged a short distance to catch up to you.

“hey,” he greeted you like you weren’t hanging out the whole day.

you know you should say hi back, you always do, but you know what he always does? he always pushes you away when reiner comes home. and it’s not his fault for being so shy, but still, can’t a girl hold her boyfriend in peace?

“are you mad?” bertholdt asked with the worried look on his face he always seemed to have.

“no.” you briskly told him, keeping your eyes forward.

bertholdt sighs as he pushes the button for the elevator to go down. your arms are crossed as you wait for one of the elevators to be available. usually you and bertholdt would talk about everything and nothing - why he hates his philosophy professor, king krule possibly coming to paradis, if you should get those jeans from jaded london, giving him a fake palm reading just to touch his hands, looking at the view from the window in the elevator room and people-watching into the apartment complex across the street - but right now, it’s silent, and not the comfortable kind you two always have but the “please don’t be mad” kind.

“are you sure you’re not mad?” he asks, a little exasperated watching you walk into the elevator while you try to avoid eye contact. he walks in after you, distracted from how worried he is about you, the tall oaf ends up hitting his head on the sill of the elevator.

“Ow!” he rubs his forehead with his pointer finger and his thumb trying to numb the pain. he ducks down to the mirror of the elevator to check for any bleeding and catches you trying not to laugh your ass off at your oaf of a boyfriend. you have the prettiest smile, he swears. he tries to suppress his own smile as he hears you fail and you erupt into snorts and giggles.

“do I have to hurt myself in order for you to acknowledge me?” he jokingly asks.

“yes.” you respond as you still have a grin on your face from your fit of laughter not too long ago. bertholdt presses the button to go down to the garage, giving you a quick kiss on the cheek to reassure you about whatever you’re upset about.

bertholdt walks you to your car, still a little cautious around you.

“what’s on your mind? i know something’s wrong.” bertholdt steps in front of you, preventing you from going any further to your car. bertholdt isn’t letting you go to sleep tonight feeling like this.

“it’s nothing really.” and it really is nothing, to you at least but not to bertholdt.

“it’s something.” bertholdt quickly retorts gently bringing his hand to yours.

you’re a little emotional, you’ve always been.

“can you just hold me? there’s no one around.” you reassure him. bertholdt’s heart stings at your act of reassuring him. bertholdt looks around for a moment and hugs your body to his in the empty parking garage, feeling your specific type of inviting warmth to his chest and having the smell of your vanilla coconut leave in conditioner scent hug his nose. he’s leaning against your car as you lean into him.

“are you mad because i pull away from you whenever reiner comes home?” he gently asks as he gave you a kiss on your head.

“im not mad, just..”

bertholdt gives you all the time to continue.

“just..are you embarrassed of being in a relationship with me or something?” you look up at him, slightly teary eyed, hoping he wouldn’t notice. but he does; because he wants to make sure you’ll never get lost.

“no! of course im not!” he furrows his eyebrows at you. you stare up at him looking if he’s telling the truth. and you know he is but overthinking gets the best of you sometimes. “you should be the one embarrassed to be in a relationship with me!” bertholdt jokes to make you feel better.

you smile as you hug him tighter, “never.”

“it’s just sometimes i feel like you are embarrassed of me.” you push the side of your face into his chest, avoiding eye contact once again.

“I’m not.” and he isn’t. bertholdt looks down at you with sympathy in his eyes, rubbing and kneading your back. he knows you deserve someone who can hold you whenever they please.

“you know how shy I get.” bertholdt reassures you that it’s his problem, not yours.

“i know.” you tell him. “i don’t want you to do anything that makes you uncomfortable. I just want you to hold me, just right now.”

“trust me, holding you doesn’t make me uncomfortable.”

bertholdt holds you in his strong arms like you’re a dove. every touch from him is carefully placed. you pout your lips signaling for a small kiss. as soon as he reaches down to give you a quick kiss, the tip of his ears red from his meekness, here comes porco galliard and his loud ass car beeping twice at you two. your eyes crinkle at his cars bright ass headlights and bertholdt lets you go from his grasp, not wanting porco to see the monstrous act of holding his girlfriend.

“give this to reiner for me!” the boy named after a pig yelled through his rolled down passenger window and threw out reiner’s jockstrap, bertholdt catching it as he let out a sigh of dissent. porco irresponsibly and annoyingingly, may I add, sped out of the garage, bertholdt yelling at him to slow down.

your eyebrows furrowed in distress when your giant of a boyfriend let you go. you watch as he slightly jogs after the speeding car and yells at the pig man driving it to slow down. bertholdt walks towards you, the dissatisfied look in your eyes wishing he kissed you a few moments earlier. bertholdt gives you a sympathetic smile as he held reiner’s jockstrap in between his fingers.

“bye,” you curtly smile back and tried as fast as you could to get into your car as you ignored your boyfriends goodbyes.

bertholdt watched your car drive out of the parking garage, a disappointed groan coming from his body.

the olive skinned boy closes his apartment door with a sigh. it pains him to know that there’s apart of you, that may grow into a chunk, that thinks he’s ashamed of you. and you know he isn’t, but he knows how you overthink. hell, he can’t blame you. if he was in your position, he would think the same thing too.

but bertholdt is shy - painfully shy, almost like he’s cursed to be this way forever, and it’s not like he doesn’t want to hold you the way he does behind closed doors in front of others. if bertholdt could, he’d have you attached to the hip.

bertholdt is just…how you say - modest.

one touch, and he knows he’s gone.

it took him at least three months into the relationship for him to even comfortably hold you, and took him another three for it to become a regular thing. every touch from your fingertips is a modified blow, and bertholdt is made of glass. the first time you molded your hands to the side of his face, he swore he shattered into a thousand pieces. and you put him back all together. you touch him like a prayer, a prayer only you two understand. the first time you touched bertholdt, when you held his face, or when he laid his head in between your thighs, or when his senses are overloaded with you - bertholdt feels his heart take root in his body, discovering something he doesn’t even have a name for.

so it’s not that bertholdt is embarrassed, he just craves even the slightest brush of your fingertips against his skin too much.

“You forgot your jockstrap.” bertholdt throws it to a now freshly showered reiner, who is currently eating his second bowl of lucky charms right now.

“thanks.” states a tired reiner.

reiner put his now empty bowl in the sink while bertholdt got ready for bed.

“goodnight bertholdt.” reiner slaps bertholdt’s flat ass.

“goodnight reiner.” bertholdt does the same to reiner.

reiner yawns and before closing his bedroom door, he peeks his head out, and with tired eyes and a tired voice, he tells his best friend since middle school,

“if you could slap my ass every night, you can hold your girl without being a scaredy cat about it by the way.”

bertholdt looks back at him with a surprised look on his face.

“you should hold her more.” reiner states before he kicks his bedroom close and going to sleep for his game tomorrow.

and bertholdt agrees.

these intrusive thoughts aren’t letting you sleep. the many times bertholdt has pushed your affection away in front of others is making you cringe and the little voice inside your head is not letting you forget them. there’s a devil and angel on your shoulders arguing whether he really loves you or not. you’re being dramatic, no you’re not, yes you are. all you really want is your boyfriend to hold you. is that too much to ask? you wanna cry but you don’t let yourself, bertholdt would let you. you let out a frustrated sigh and grab your phone from your nightstand. a second ago it was only 12 but now it’s almost 3 o clock in the morning. to hell with these intrusive thoughts.

bertholdt <3: Just wanna say goodnight and I can’t wait to see you tomorrow. I hope you feel better in the morning, I love you.

sent at 12:25

you roll your eyes at the text message sent by your boyfriend but can’t help but feel a teensy bit better, but not enough to fall asleep. a glass of warm milk and those melatonin chocolates bertholdt bought for you will do. you find your roommate pieck awake at almost 3 in the morning making herself a cup of tea in her jaw titan mug.

“he did it again.” you tell her as you get out the carton of milk and pour it into a glass.

“again!?” pieck suddenly drops her spoon into her cup of tea.

“shhhhh!” annie is in her room doing the right thing you’re supposed to do at 3 in the morning, sleep. annie is also possibly the lightest sleeper you’ve ever come across and even pieck’s soft voice can wake her up.

“did you tell him how you feel?” pieck asked more quietly this time as she blew at her hot tea.

“yeah.” you sighed, waiting for the microwave to be done warming up your glass of milk.

“and?”

“and…he told me that he wasn’t embarrassed of me and he was just shy.” you take your too hot glass of milk out of the microwave and ended up yelling, possibly waking up annie and praying you didn’t.

“shhhh!” pieck pulls her finger to her lips.

you and pieck stay quiet to listen out for annie’s footsteps, and luckily for you two, you heard none.

“well that’s good right? he’s not embarrassed of you!” pieck says, a little more quiet this time, just in case.

“yeah but, your pig of a boyfriend, who’s headlights are way too bright, came to drop off…something reiner forgot and he let go of me like i was burning hot.” you drink all your milk in one go and let the chocolate dissolve in your mouth.

“but you are burning hot.”

“pieck,” you smile at her playful flirting while staying stern to let her know now is not the time to flirt

“why the hell are both of you still awake?” annie opens the door to her room glaring at both of her roommates.

“what the fuck annie!?” you yelped in your normal voice not having to whisper anymore.

annie makes her way to the fridge and grabs a water bottle, gulping it down like she’s been stranded in the Sahara desert for eternity.

“you two suck at whispering.” annie states throwing away the now empty water bottle.

“what could you two be talking about this fine night?” annie sarcastically asks.

“your bestie is a scaredy-cat and can’t hold his girlfriend in front of others.” pieck jokes.

“pieck!”

“bertholdt?”

“who else?” you confirm

“you can’t make him do anything that makes him uncomfortable, bertholdt’s always been like that.” annie defends her best friend as if you were talking bad about him in the first place.

“im not.”

“well it sounds like you are.” annie’s a good friend, you note.

“i never took a dig at bertholdt as a person, you know how I feel about him annie, i just…feel like he’s embarrassed of me.” you look away from her, a little embarrassed yourself.

annie scoffs, sitting down at the kitchen table “he is not embarrassed of you stupid.”

you look at annie a bit relieved.

“he’s just meek, okay? trust me, it gets to me sometimes too. bertholdt always seemed like he would be meek forever..”

“that’s not a bad thing.” you retort

“can you let me finish first?” annie continues “but, and I know you know this, he’s destined to be more than that.”

“he is already more than that.”

“i already know that.” annie says

there’s a bit of an awkward silence and pieck has awkwardly been stirring her tea the whole time.

annie sighs, “he seems to be a lot more confident ever since you’ve been with him and….” annie hates that she’s admitting this, god she prays you and pieck learn to whisper so she won’t ever have to say something like this again to anyone.

“I like that he’s happy with you.”

your eyes brighten up with joy.

“really?” you smile brightly.

“yes really.” annie sighs once again.

“thanks annie.” you give her a hug and she awkwardly pats your back. you make your way back to your bedroom, with a lingering smile on your face. you text bertholdt goodnight and you know he’s gonna worry over the time you sent your text (3:15 in the morning) but at least now your intrusive thoughts have stopped.

annie doesn’t see you as a friend like pieck or the rest of her friends do. you’re just her roommate. but ever since bertholdt has been dating you for the past 9 months, he does things like hum while doing basic tasks, developed an actual sense of fashion, listens to actual good music and her favorite? tells her and reiner that he loves them every night in their groupchat.

“annie?” pieck says quietly, her tea gone cold.

“yes pieck?” annie sighs, once again.

“do you like bertholdt, in the way Y/N likes bertholdt?” pieck is also a good friend.

annie turns to pieck a bit dumbfounded “pieck, I am literally a lesbian, god.”

“oh thank god.” pieck lets out a breath of relief.

annie goes back into her room, her head now hurting.

you have no idea how football works.

you chant offense when it’s defense, defense when it’s offense, don’t even know what it means to be flagged. yet here you are, giving all your undivided attention to the very homoerotic game that is football, trying to ignore your intrusive thoughts about your boyfriend. all you really know is reiner’s jersey number.

the score is currently 14 - 7, halftime is in three minutes, and under these late night stars, the crowd is starting to get rowdy. eren jaeger is sat three seats beside you yelling at jean kierstein about how much of a pussy the opposing team is. jean kierstein’s face is tomato red as he tries his hardest not to punch eren in the face. armin is right in the middle of it wishing he never came. mikasa knows that these losers wouldn’t even survive in a football game but she can. your roommate pieck just wants to support her boyfriend, and bertholdt and your other roommate annie are just supporting their best friend.

you don’t understand the hype for college football games. the aftermath was always so depressing. men fighting over two groups of other men cuddling each other, underage college students getting alcohol poisoning, people you’ve seen post environmental activism infographics on their instagram stories littering like it’s nothing.

you’ve seen the worst minds of your generation at a college football game.

bertholdt knows you have no idea what’s going on. he’s talking to annie about the game, while also trying to subtly explain to you how it works and annie has no idea why bertholdt is explaining the game to her. If bertholdt keeps this up, annie will probably have to beat his ass.

“the titans just got flagged? wow I wonder what they got penalized for.”

“yeah our defense, who stop the other team from scoring, have been doing really well this season!”

“our offense, who have the ball currently, have been kinda sloppy this quarter, don’t you think?”

Bertholdt is lucky halftime is about to start.

“I’m gonna go get something to eat.” annie states, annoyed by bertholdt.

“get me a korean corn dog please!” you yell after her. she flips you off as she walks away, which means yes, you will get your korean corn dog.

that silence between you and bertholdt appears from last night again, the “please don’t be mad” kind, and you don’t like it. you can feel bertholdt’s doe eyes on you and you know he’s worried about you. he let you go home feeling like an embarrassment to him and he has so much to make up for.

you two don’t really get into the typical fights, sure some misunderstandings, but nothing like this before. you’re overreacting, you know you are. but you can’t help but feel so insecure.

“you should stop explaining how football works to Annie before she beats you up.” you tell your oaf of a boyfriend in a way to let him know him that you don’t want it to be like this any longer.

“if she beat me up, would it make you happy?” bertholdt jokingly asked, a little relieved.

“very.” you gave bertholdt a toothy grin. you give him the most brisk kiss on the cheek, you don’t even think your lips touched him.

“thank you.” you tell him because you know the only reason why he even is explaining football to annie, who probably understands it way more than you and bertholdt, is because he thinks you need space from the passive aggressive predicament you got into last night. (which is far from what you need)

you’re eyes are guided back to the big jumbotron in the center of the field, watching the two dogs who represent the two teams race against each other. bertholdt keeps his eyes on you and observes the way your face lights up when you see the brown labrador dressed as an armored titan race against a black great dane dressed as the colossal.

“bertholdt that black dog resembles you so much!” you tell him in the nicest way possible as you point at the screen. ymir bursts into the most disrespectful laughter possible, her and her girlfriend historia sitting above you and bertholdt.

“ymir stop being mean!” historia scolds.

bertholdt doesn’t care though, he does look like a dog to a certain extent, and he doesn’t care - as long as he can see you smile. he disregards ymir’s snorts, he ignores eren and jean’s arguing, he hasn’t noticed that annie’s been gone for longer than usual, he forgets what breed the dogs were and which one won, the cheering in the stadium has suddenly stopped - all he knows at this moment is you. here you are, his girl, the biggest smile on your face accentuating your cheekbones with your eyes crinkling in the corner. he swears you have the prettiest smile. it makes his brain go fuzzy, makes him forget everything around him -

your intrusive thoughts have gotten the very best of you, all of last night and up to today. there’s that voice in your head who keeps on telling you that you’re not worthy of being shown off, that being with someone like you is an embarrassment - how dare anyone love you? but right now - bertholdt feels so honored in this current moment sitting this close to you and having the privilege to see you smile. he looks like an idiot probably as he admires you from his seat that his tall body can barely fit in. but he doesn’t care - all his inhibitions have left and you’ve replaced them.

reiner can’t wait until this game is over with. he’s sat on the metal moist bench with his helmet off squeezing his water bottle into his mouth as his bandages are being renewed below him by the teams nurse. the black game paint he painted across his face has became grey and smudged and his hair is soaked from how much he’s been sweating. there’s about three minutes of halftime left and he’s spending those three minutes watching the Jumbotron across him.

“pucker your lips and get ready for the kiss cam titans!” came a booming voice from the intercom.

the first couple weren’t even a couple and the girl ended up moving away when the guy motioned a kiss towards her.

the second couple gave each other a meek kiss and the crowd boo’d at their lousy excuse of a kiss.

the third couple was a girl in the middle of eating a korean corn dog and the giraffe of a man totally entranced by her cheese pull.

reiner’s eyes widen as he sets his eye on the dork of a couple who were cuddling on his couch last night.

bertholdt is looking at you like you’re the only person in this whole stupidly funded football stadium. you have a bit of mustard on the corner of your lips and your inhaling the cool night air to cool down the burning piece of fried cheese in your mouth. you look to bertholdt and stick your tongue out and point at it with sad eyes.

“I burnt my tongue,” you said with your tongue still sticking out.

“you’re on kiss cam you idiots!” ymir smiled at the both of you and playfully pushed bertholdt’s towards you.

bertholdt doesn’t even know he’s on kiss cam. he barely felt ymir push him over to you. he sees you look over to the jumbotron and grow embarrassed as you use your hand to cover your face. out of nowhere, you’re hit with the massive weight that is the whole crowd’s judgement. somehow, you’re the one filled with inhibitions and bertholdt isn’t.

“bertholdt…” you whisper to him, “we’re on kiss cam!” you say this like it’s the worse thing in the world.

all bertholdt hears is kiss and that’s what he does - in front of thousands of people, all of paradis’ college towns watching on their TVs, in front of eren jaeger and jean kierschstein who’ve stopped arguing due to how surprised they are, in front of armin arlert who’s just glad they’ve stopped arguing, in front of mikasa ackerman who has never felt so much second hand embarrassment in her life just from you eating your corn dog, in front of pieck finger who’s smiling so big because you were just telling her last night how you felt bertholdt was embarrassed of you, in front of annie leonhardt who can’t help but roll her eyes at you two, in front of ymir who’s cheering bertholdt on, and in front of reiner braun, who’s annoying the nurse who’s bandaging his calves from his constant movement as he stands up and cheers for his best friend since middle school.

bertholdt is carefully cradling your face in both of his hands, like you’re his own personal prayer, his own personal heaven, his own angel; they’re large and warm up your cool face and his fingers reach to your scalp. you didn’t expect this from him, you even thought he would just walk away pretending to not even know who you are (and if he did that, you would give him something to be embarrassed about). but here he is, his lips on your lips, kissing you like this is what mouths are for. finding warmth in his mouth, you relax into his lips and hold his hands closer to your face.

neither you or bertholdt can hear the crowd cheering you guys on as bertholdt’s lips put you into some sort of trance just like how your smile induced his. it is every kiss bertholdt owes you every time he pulled away in front of others. it is the song baby by donnie and joe emerson that is the first track on the CD bertholdt gifted you when he asked you to be his girlfriend. it is the last track - ‘baby’ by ariel pink. it is bertholdt’s hands cradling your face up to reach his lips and your hands on his, your mouth becoming his mouth, it is you who breaks into shards and it will be him who will put you back together.

once you both pull away due to the ear-paining air horn signifying that halftime is over, the kiss cam screening had already been over with. bertholdt’s olive skin heats up, his lips covered in your gloss and your lips a bit swollen.

you look up at to him with bright but bashful eyes, and you smile.

and he swears you have the prettiest smile.

320 notes · View notes

mazuwii · 1 year

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Would AOT men support Andrew Tate??

I'm bored so why not (unbiased headcannons, feel free to add your opinion)

Levi:

•doesn't even know how to use electronics, in fact he doesn't even know who Andrew Tate is. He overhears everyone talking about him and how outrageous or "masculine" he is. He pictures this huge scary man with millions of scars, Dutch Van Der Linde history and that.

•when he finally hears an explanation from Gabi's phone, he tries to peek over from his wheelchair. Let's just say, he was disappointed. His imagination was crushed at the sight of what seemed like a gay porn actor that talks too much.

Eren:

•At one point in his life, Eren Sasha and Connie cosplayed pitbull at a pitbull convention (cult) , what makes you think he wouldn't use the bald hats again?

•of course he thinks Andrew Tate is a dumb ass but a little bit of trolling never hurt anyone.

•No he doesn't like him but he does quote him ironically

Bertholdt:

•Bertholdt scrolls on tiktok only for gardening and gaming content, and anything that doesn't fit into those genres, he instantly clicks 'not interested', he doesn't even bother listening. At some point the amount of Andrew Tate videos on his fyp began to piss him off so bad he blocked the hashtag, and even that didn't work 💀💀💀

Reiner:

•Reiner throwing on his dad glasses and squinting at he screen, "who's this?"

"Andrew Tate,"

He listens for a few seconds, but the words just aren't wording,"Just block him babe,"

No but seriously he finds the redpill community embarrassing af, especially with the hatred they have for single mothers, since he came from one and his respect for them

Jean:

•Jean would agree with a few points, but will happily take pleasure by trolling his fans with Connie and Sasha

Connie:

•If you ever see Bottom G edits, of random bald men twerking or dancing in an odd manner, labelled "top G spotted at an orgie" that was Connie and Sasha

Armin:

•He’s a literal feminist, with receipts, try him.

Erwin:

•could not give less of a shit, his tiktok is full of those flowery 'goodmorning🌹🌸💐😘’ edits that he downloads and sends to people on WhatsApp

Zeke:

•This is tricky, on one hand he looks like the type of man that redpillers would make an edit of, on the other he looks like he'd bully them

Porco:

•I'm sorry to my Porco stans, as much as I love him he would say "free top G" and no one even knows if he's being serious or not- like if you made fun of him, he’d laugh with you, so maybe not idk

Miche:

•He thinks they're pathetic little boys

Floch:

•Very proud of his mysoginistic beliefs, would defend Andrew to his death , and unlike Porco, very much goes on protests to "free Top G"

#reiner braun #reiner #aot warriors #zeke #levi ackerman #erwin #pieck #aot veterans #reiner x reader #floch #eren #Levi #Bertholdt #porco #armin #Miche #jean kirstein

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tribal-chief-reigns · 2 years

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Annie Leonhart is a human cat. Her facial expressions show clear disdain for everyone around her yet she wants constant attention from those she stares at with hatred. Also she will very often step on people’s feet to assert dominance over them and she’s already done this to every other member of the 104th. Multiple times. It’s her hobby

#annie #annie leonhart #aot #snk #aot headcanons #she's a cat #cat warrior #mikannie #annie leonhardt x reader #aruannie #ereannie #beruannie #hitchannie #snk headcanons #annie leonhardt headcanons

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kachll · 1 month

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Wounds of a Warrior - Reiner Braun x Reader Fanfiction

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roseofdarknessblog · 1 year

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Northern lights (Porco Galliard x Reader)

Word count: 7 050

Disclaimer: english is not my first language, I apologize in advance for any mistakes

TW: mentions of blood, death, canon typical injuries

Summary: How did Porco Galliard pass time while the other Warriors were away on Paradis? By falling in love, participating in occasional military missions, and almost dying for the country that never really valued his life and the sacrifices he made from a young age. If it wasn’t for Y/N, Porco Galliard would never live to inherit the Jaw Titan. Not after being left behind during a failed ambush of an enemy fort way up north from his hometown.

Northern lights

„Damn it! You should’ve told me sooner, that you’re hurt! What the hell am I supposed to do now?“ Porco hissed, brushing a few strands of hair from your face. His light hazel eyes were full of concern and gut-wrenching fear. He was looking at you as if you were dying right there in his arms.

Well... maybe you were.

Your perfectly white uniform was drenched in the blood of your opponents, but also your own. Two stray bullets found their way into your body – one hit your left thigh, and the other went through the left side of your waist. The second one hurt a hundred times more, but the one in your thigh was bleeding more aggressively. At least until Porco took the belt from his own uniform and fastened it around your thigh, just above the gunshot wound, wrapping it over tightly with his jacket.

„I’ll be fine, don’t worry,“ you assured him in a weak voice, while you tried to blink away the exhaustion from combat and blood loss. This never should have happened. It was supposed to be an easy mission. Not an actual assault on one of the other nation's military forts. „They’ll come back for us. A lot of soldiers got left behind... they have to come back.“

„But they may be too late,“ he murmured angrily, running his bloodied hand through his hair. It was usually close to perfect, every little hair knew its exact place. But now they were all tousled around, some of the longer strands even falling into his eyes. The right side of his head was covered in almost dried blood from the wound on his temple. A long red streak made its way down his neck and disappeared under the dirty and bloodied fabric of his uniform. But it seemed that he was fine otherwise. „I don’t know how to stop the bleeding.“

„You’re doing fine, just keep putting pressure on the wound.“

„You’re going to bleed out this way!“

„Porco...“ you said his name calmly, trying your best to smile at him. He was panicking, and so were you. It’s just that you didn’t have the energy to show it. „I’m fine... really.“

Even if for a couple of seconds, you needed to close your eyes. Rest them for a bit, maybe forget everything that was happening around you. Forget the trenches where you and a lot of badly wounded Eldian soldiers were hiding and waiting. The army had to step back from the attack, leaving a lot of its soldiers behind. But you believed that someone will come back. They had to.

You didn’t want to die like this.

Not so soon.

„We should get away from here. The enemy will think about searching the trenches for survivors. And what do you think they’ll do when they find us?“

You smiled again, reaching for his left arm. The tips of your fingers brushed over the yellow armband, which was so much prettier than your grey one. Yellow has always been your favorite color. And it suited Porco and his eyes perfectly. Even more, because he hated it so much, but didn’t want to give it up.

He was allowed to wear a red one after Marcel became the Jaw Titan, but since he himself didn’t make it as one of the inheritors, he simply kept his status as a Warrior candidate. And those always wore yellow armbands, separating themselves from other Eldian soldiers. The ones like you. Ordinary people, that gave their lives to the Marleyan military in the hopes of a slightly better future.

„And where do you want to go?“ you asked him, your finger outlining the white Eldian star.

„We can hide in the forest somewhere.“

„I can’t stand up,“ you reminded him.

He shrugged, leaning closer and kissing you on the forehead. „I’ll carry you.“

„My hero,“ you smiled again weakly, caressing his cheek with bloodied fingers. Your hands felt so cold. Just like the rest of your body. „But you can’t tend to me, cover up our trails in the snow, and watch out for the enemy all at once. Trying to run would get us killed.“

„Staying here is going to get you killed.“

„Porco...“

„STOP IT!“ you flinched a little when he yelled at you. Regret almost immediately made its way to his face, because the sudden movement made you grit your teeth in pain. This was the first time you’ve been shot. But never before did you imagine it being this painful. „Please, just... stop saying my name like you’re about to say goodbye to me. You’re not dying here, okay? We’re going back home and we’ll wait for my brother and the others together. You promised to never leave me, remember?“

You nodded, while the pain from your side was spreading through your entire abdomen and climbing up your chest. „I’m not leaving you, Porco.“ No, you weren’t leaving him. Not yet. „And I’m not dying here. I want to live, experience so many things... with you.“

Porco wasn’t a guy who would smile often. That even you couldn’t change. That’s why the shy little smile on his lips made your heart break into a million pieces. You had to be on the brink of death to see him let his guard down and stop pretending to be tough all the time.

„You should go fetch some help, we need to close the wound on my side first, so I don’t lose more blood.“ Stitching up different kinds of wounds wasn’t that hard. You learned to do that even before joining the military thanks to your aunt, who was a doctor back in the internment zone. „I can stitch it up myself, but you need to find me the supplies.“

„I can’t leave you here. What if...“

„You go, I’ll be fine. Just don’t take too long, okay?“

„But how...“

„GO!“ you hissed at him through gritted teeth again. Even breathing was becoming more and more painful.

Porco hesitated for a minute, but when you grabbed his chin and brought his face closer to yours for a short kiss, he snapped back to reality. His lips found yours once more before he pulled his hands away from your side. From that moment it was your responsibility to continuously push on the wound and slow down the bleeding. The good thing was, that the bullet stayed inside. Pulling it out in this situation could be fatal.

You watched Porco slowly and carefully make his way to the direction, where you last saw the two medics, that were always present amongst every soldier unit. Merely for situations like these. You had no idea if any of them was still alive, but in the end that didn’t matter. All you needed was their bag with the medical supplies.

You tried to stay calm and not look around too much. The closest surroundings were filled with the dead bodies of your comrades. They were shot or killed by many grenades the enemy had tossed into the trenches. It was a miracle, that you and Porco weren’t killed in their last attack.

The closest sign of life was a young Eldian soldier, whose name you didn’t know. He way laying a few feet away, his uniform soaked in blood from the three gunshot wounds on his chest. But he was still fighting for his life. Still painfully gasping for air while facing the sky above your head. The sun was slowly setting in the rich hues of yellow, orange, and pink that were peeking through the thick grey clouds. It was a beautiful contrast to the dirt and snow all around you.

The fort Marley decided to invade was far up north, a long distance from Liberio. There was much more snow than you’ve ever seen. But the cold air felt pleasant and you liked the tiny snowflakes almost continuously falling from the sky. They served you as a great distraction until Porco finally came back.

„I found one of the medics, he was busy helping the soldier around him. And the other one is dead. But I couldn’t find his bag anywhere, somebody must have already taken it.“ You nodded, trying not to panic while seeing the look on his face. You’ve never seen him this scared. Not because of you and not because of anything else. „But he gave me something you could use.“

„Great,“ you breathed, lifting your head up a little, to see better. „You’re gonna help me, okay?“

„Me? How?“

„I’ll tell you in a minute.“ You slowly pulled your hands away from your side and with Porco’s help undone your uniform jacket, and pulled up your shirt underneath. Your ribs were covered in many bruises, the area closest to the wound sticky with slowly drying blood. „Okay, did he give you anything for disinfecting the wound?“

„Yeah, some alcohol.“

„Great, that’s perfect.“ Cleaning the wound was the easiest part, even though the pain almost made you scream out at the top of your lungs. But Porco seemed far more traumatized by everything you were doing. Watching you inject the local anesthetic to ease the pain made him look away. „Stop flinching, the worst part is yet to come,“ you murmured, looking at the streaks of blood flowing down your side and stomach. „Help me sit up a bit better.“

He was careful, touching you like you were made of glass, but every little movement still caused you tremendous pain. And all you could do was breathe through it and bite into your bottom lip to avoid screaming again. Porco helped you lean against the frozen dirt wall of the trench and knelt beside you.

„Okay... okay...“ Catching your breath seemed impossible for a short while. But when you finally calmed down and started thinking rationally again, you realized your hands were shaking. It was probably from the cold. Or maybe the blood loss. Or exhaustion. Or all of them combined. „Now I need your help.“

Porco nodded, taking one deep steadying breath. „What do I do?“

„You’ll have to guide my hand, it’s shaking too much and I can’t see the wound really well.“

„That doesn’t sound like the best plan, so don’t get your hopes up.“

You smiled, pulling your hand away from your side again. Suturing was a skill that took a considerable amount of practice. You knew that. The practice you had was only enough for real emergency situations such as this one. The stitches didn’t need to look pretty. Later a real doctor will correct them either way.

„We can do it, just listen to me,“ you said, looking into his horror-filled face. It wasn’t the blood or the wound itself that scared him. It was the fact, that your life was in danger, and getting proper help was almost impossible. There was no guarantee, that the military was coming back for you. And the enemy could strike again at any given moment. „Don’t panic, it really isn’t that serious. We both have seen worse things.“

„We did, but this is pretty disgusting if you ask me. How do you even know these things?“

„My aunt taught me. And you should know something like this too, it’s a useful skill.“

„Whatever,“ Porco muttered, closing his eyes and pinching the bridge of his nose. His body faltered a bit, but he used his other hand for support before losing his balance.

„Are you okay?“ you asked worriedly, reaching out to him. „Does your head hurt?“

He nodded, just a second before he turned around and threw up. His whole body was visibly shaking, while he tried to catch his breath again, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. „I don’t feel good, Y/N. What’s happening?“

„It’s probably a concussion, you hit your head pretty hard.“

„Yeah.“ He left his head bowed down for a short while, trying to blink away another wave of dizziness and growing nausea. „Whatever, I’m fine,“ he said with still-closed eyes, turning back to you just a second later. You could see the determination on his face. He knew there wasn’t anybody else to help you. It had to be him. „What am I supposed to do?“

You looked him over with a worried expression. He wasn’t okay, he didn’t even have the strength to pretend anymore. But there was no time to waste. If you wanted to live, you had to act fast.

„Grab my hand and guide it to one end of the wound,“ you said in the calmest voice possible. Everything was going to be fine. All you needed to do was calm down and concentrate. „Be gentle but vigorous, okay? We have to do this fast.“

„Yeah, okay... okay...“

Porco’s hand was suddenly trembling even more than yours, but somehow he managed to do exactly what you needed. He was talking in a hushed voice, navigating your every move verbally as well. Suturing the top part of the wound was the hardest since you couldn’t see in properly. But after some failed attempts and with Porco’s help, you somehow managed to close it off, stopping the bleeding almost completely. The stitches were far from perfect, little streaks of blood were seeping through in some places, but it did the job.

The local anesthetic helped you not feel a single thing. All you concentrated on, was your lover's cold fingers on your skin, gently holding your hand and helping you save your life. Working without proper equipment and not in a clean or quiet environment made everything much harder, than when you practiced at home. You wished your aunt could be there at that moment, to tell you what exactly to do, or just to assure you, that you’re doing good enough.

„Are you okay?“ you asked Porco when he helped you secure the bandage on your side. His hands were shaking even more visibly now.

„Yeah, fine. It’s just... disgusting and...“ It seemed unusually hard for him to form a proper easy sentence. That made you worry even more. Nothing should have happened to him. Not him. Everyone else could die, you wouldn’t care unless he was alive and well. „Do you have to suture the wound on your thigh as well?“

„I should, yeah. It’s not bleeding that much right now, but...“

You never had the chance to finish your sentence. Not, when you noticed shouts from enemy soldiers nearby, followed by the sounds of shooting and killing. You looked at Porco with sheer panic in your eyes. If they find you, it’s over. They’ll kill you both without mercy.

„Lay down!“ Porco ordered, helping you get onto the ground. „Try not to scream, please.“ He didn’t give you a chance to even fully understand his words when he turned you over – on your side and then on your stomach. Both wounds on your overall aching body protested with a massive explosion of pain, that almost made you cry out in agony. „Just close your eyes and don’t move under any circumstance, okay?“

„What about you?“ you asked, while the gruesome sounds of other Eldian soldiers being murdered were getting closed and louder.

„I’ll be right here,“ he assured you, looking around frantically.

Playing dead was seemingly the smartest thing to do. Even more, when Porco dragged one of the already deceased soldier’s body closer and carelessly threw it over you. As if that was the way both of you found your end.

„Don’t dare to make a sound!“ he hissed at you, just as he lay down close enough to reach your hand, while he flipped another dead soldier horizontally over his own body.

„I love you,“ was the last thing you whispered to him before you had to close your eyes to stop the tears from running down your cheeks. You could hardly catch your breath when the footsteps of the enemy got even closer.

You could feel Porco’s hand close to yours, but he didn’t dare to actually touch you. And you didn’t either. All you could was try to control your breathing and slow down your almost painfully pounding heart. Overwhelming waves of panic and fear kept coming and going, as the enemy finally made its way to the place you and Porco were laying.

You held your breath and bit into your tongue when one of them carelessly kicked your leg. Since it was already almost dark, the soldiers carried flashlights to make their search for survivors easier.

They were talking in some foreign language, so you couldn’t understand a thing, but their nasty laughs and the actual tone of their voice was enough. All the death they saw around pleased them. Well, why wouldn’t it? They did their duty and protected the fort Marley decided to attack. You didn’t even know the exact reason. Nobody cared to tell you, they all just expected to act on command and never ask questions.

Not even when your own life was at stake.

You didn’t dare to open your eyes for a long time after the last sounds of shooting got quiet. The freezing ground under you finally stopped shaking from the weight of soldiers walking around.

It felt like hours have passed until you finally found enough courage to slowly lift your eyelids and look around. One side of your brain waited for an armed soldier standing right above you, pointing his gun at your head and waiting for you to reveal your cover. But there was nobody there.

„Porco?“

„Stay down, don’t move. We should wait some more,“ he whispered, looking at you with tired eyes. His face looked even paler than before, especially in comparison with the dried blood. Or at least it appeared like that, you couldn’t see very well in the slowly thickening darkness around you. The only source of light was the moon, elegantly making its way across the dark sky above your head. „Are you in a lot of pain?“

„I’ll manage.“

The pain was coming and going, you didn't really feel it because of the adrenalin still vigorously floating around your whole body. The cold was starting to bother you more. You could barely feel your hands anymore, and your whole body was shivering more and more with every passing second.

„They’re coming back for us, right?“ you suddenly asked Porco without even thinking about the real meaning of your words. Did you mean the enemy? Or the Marleyans?

It took Porco only a short while, before he carefully reached for your hand, brushing his ice-cold fingers against your skin. „We’re not dying here.“

„We’re not dying here,“ you repeated after him, squeezing his hand a little harder.

Were you two the only ones left alive? From so many soldiers all around? It was possible. But even if not, you had only each other to lean on now. And you were determined to do everything possible, to keep Porco and yourself alive long enough, to return home. You had people back in Liberio waiting for your return. Family and friends.

And you both gave the other Warriors your words, that you’ll wait for their return from Paradis. Even if you only knew Pieck and Zeke, since the others left before you and Porco met, you couldn’t wait to meet his brother and the other three heroes sent amongst the island devils. Porco told you a lot about them all. Sometimes you felt like you knew them for many years, even if you never met them in person.

It felt like another eternity went by until Porco finally moved and climbed out from under the dead soldier. He was moving slowly and carefully, apparently quite dizzy. „Can you move?“ he asked worriedly, rolling the other soldier's body from yours. The sound you heard when it hit the ground made you sick. „What about your injuries? Are you in pain?“

„I’m fine.“ You weren’t fine, but there was no point in saying that out loud. There was nothing he could do to help you now. All there was to do, was wait for the Marleyans.

Or for death.

„How’s your head?“ you asked him, reaching out your hand and brushing your fingers alongside his cheek. Not seeing his face very clearly was for the best. This way you only had to imagine all the pain, fear, and exhaustion that was written all over it.

„It hurts a bit.“

„You should lay down. It’s not like we can do anything now.“

„I’m going to,“ he assured you, helping you sit up. The effects of the local anesthetic were long gone, your whole left side felt like it was on fire or as if somebody was repeatedly stabbing you. Your whole leg hurt as well, but it wasn’t as bad. „I just want to hold you. We need to stay warm. It’s a long time until morning.“

„That’s the only reason you want to hold me?“ you teased him, frowning a bit when Porco took the coat from one of the soldiers and tossed it around your shoulders. Just your own clothes weren’t going to be enough.

„Right now, that’s the main reason. But there are others as well.“ His tiny smirk made your heart swell up with hope. He was still trying to be the typical Porco Galliard you fell in love with more than a year ago. He was an idiot most of the time, but he was your idiot. You wouldn’t trade him for anything in the whole wide world. „I don’t think they’ll return until morning. If they return.“

„They will!“ you reassured him, taking the other coat he was giving you. Its entire back was covered in dried blood. But it was warm and that was the most important thing.

„Do you know any good stories? We shouldn’t fall asleep.“

„Not really, but I can make up a one or two.“

„I remember some old fairytales my mom used to read to me and Marcel when we were little.“ You smiled softly, while Porco took two other coats for himself, finally settling down next to you.

He leaned his back against the trench wall, half sitting and half laying down to ease his dizziness. With painful tears you moved closer, pressing your body up against his. With one coat undernet you and the other covering you like a blanket, you rested your head on Porco’s chest, arms tightly wrapped around his body.

„Do you think they would notice if we lit a tiny fire? Just to warm our hands or...“

„We can’t risk that,“ Porco answered before you were able to finish the sentence, wrapping his arms around you. He was really careful not to hurt you in any way, even on accident. „Somebody may still be lurking around.“

„We shouldn’t talk then.“

„We shouldn’t, but we’ll go crazy if we stay quiet until the morning.“

He was right. When all you could hear was the eerie quiet, all the death and destruction seemed even closer. It was like Death itself looking over your shoulder, waiting for the right moment to slice its scythe through your body.

„So... tell me one of those fairytales,“ you suggested, hiding your face in the crook of his neck. When your lips made contact with his icy skin, even more intense shivers ran down your back. „I’d like one with a happy ending.“

„They all have a happy ending. That’s all kids are supposed to know... happiness and peace.“

You smiled a little, closing your eyes for a short while. Porco stayed quiet for a second, maybe thinking about something, while his hand was running up and down your back, trying to warm you up a bit and keep you calm. What made you open your eyes again, was a feeling of tiny snowflaked landing on your face.

„I’ve never seen this much snow. Nature is really pretty up here,“ you said, wiping them away from your cheeks. „All those pine forests, the mountains around us, and the snow itself... I’d like to live in a place like this one day.“

„Does living in this nasty cold really sound that exciting to you?“

„Yeah, it’s peaceful.“

Keeping your eyes open was getting harder and harder. Even more, after Porco really started telling the old fairytales. You could tell he didn’t remember all the details, but he quickly made something up, creating a whole new story in the process. But it was fun, he kept your mind occupied for some time.

You really couldn’t remember the last time somebody was telling you a story about adorable little animals and magical beings in the depths of an enchanted forest. Surely nobody ever did it like Porco Galliard, who didn’t hesitate to add some snarky little comments when something seemed stupid to him. Even though it was a kid's tale, and its purpose was to sound childish and sometimes even a little silly.

„Are you still listening?“ Porco asked after a while, looking down at you settled in his arms. You were listening, even if his words slowly started to sound miles away. „Hey, Y/N! Don’t close your eyes, we can’t fall asleep!“ His lips made contact with your cheek, while he run his shaking fingers through your hair. „Look at me, please.“

You did your best, but lifting your eyelids was almost impossible. It was still snowing, and some of the snowflakes were landing right on your eyelashes. „I’m listening to you, just can’t keep my eyes open anymore. I’m really tired.“

„I know, but you have to stay awake.“

„Can I take a short nap? For a couple of minutes?“ He shook his head, kissing your forehead while pushing strands of hair behind your ear.

„Keep your eyes on me, okay? We’re gonna talk about something, anything really. Tell me about all the stupid girly things I don’t give a damn about, but you love doing so much.“

You smiled a little, swallowing hard. „Like my favorite nail polish, I used to wear every day before joining the military? Or the ways I love to style my hair?“

„Yeah, precisely.“

„Every mission requires a different one. You know... to change things up a little.“

His quiet laugh gave you some very-needed strength. You had to hold on. For yourself, but mainly for Porco. He needed you. Playing a tough guy came naturally to him, that’s why not many people approached him. But you knew better. You knew the true Porco Galliard, who needed support just like everyone else. He just wasn’t the type to ask for it. It had to be you, who reached out to him and waited patiently until he accepted your help.

It wasn’t love at first sight between the two of you. You needed time to get to know each other, then falling in love somehow came naturally. With every interaction you had with him, with every little gesture and every mission, he underwent with the rest of the military. It was dangerous, of course. But Commander Magath, the main leader of the Warrior Unit, saw it as a good chance for Porco to prove his loyalty and eagerness to inherit one of the Titans a few years later.

He was still angry about not getting the Armored Titan, even after giving his everything during every single training. But it seemed that since he got to know you, he calmed down a bit. Maybe even enjoyed the fact, that he wasn’t at Paradis right now.

Surely, he missed hir brother and worried about him, because the mission was taking them way too long. Even Marley got concerned and almost a month ago sent the Beast and the Cart Titan after them. That’s why this mission surprised you so much. You never expected the military to engage in combat without any of the Titans.

„And what is your favorite?“

„Hairstyle?“

„Yeah. Do you have one?“

„No, not really,“ you shrugged, cuddling up to him even further. „I never liked my hair. All of those hairstyles are just supposed to keep it out of my face.“ It’s not like you hated your hair, but it always had a mind of its own.

„I like your hair. Mostly when I get to play with it while we cuddle,“ he smiled again lovingly, trying to keep the concern in his tone under control. „When we’re in my room, in the warm bed, under even warmer covers. Drinking hot tea or chocolate. Or that disgustingly sugary coffee you like.“

„You only tried it once and didn’t even drink the whole thing.“

„I’ll try again when we get home, okay?“

You nodded, unwillingly closing your eyes again. Porco almost immediately nudged you a little, commanding you to open your eyes. He wanted you to talk more, about anything. But even opening your mouth and moving your tongue was becoming too much.

Everything was becoming too much. The cold. The blood loss. The overall tiredness.

„You promised not to leave me, remember?“ Porco asked more urgently, rubbing your back under the coats you used to cover yourselves. You could feel him shivering as well, but it seemed that he endured the cold better than you. „Hold on, we’re going home soon, I promise.“

„I love you.“

„I love you too, angel. But you can’t fall asleep, do you understand? You can’t.“

Your hands and feet felt completely numb, almost as if they weren’t part of your body anymore. Even your airways and lungs hurt from the constant freezing air all around. Everything was becoming blurry and confusing, reality slowly withdrawing from your reach.

„Wake me up after... twenty... twenty minutes.“

„How the hell am I supposed to know when twenty minutes pass?“

You smiled for yourself, gripping the fabric of his uniform. „Count. It will... keep you... busy.“

Porco answered something, but you couldn’t make out his words anymore. Not when tiredness took over you and you simply weren’t able to open your eyes anymore. In his arms, you felt safe and loved. You could fall asleep very easily. Too easily, which wasn’t good.

You knew staying awake was crucial for survival. At least your mind knew it. But your exhausted body wanted something different. Some proper rest, even if for a couple of minutes. Morning would come faster if you sleep for a bit. And the pain would disappear as well.

Everything would be so much easier.

„I shouldn’t allow you, but... okay, sleep for a bit.“

„Thanks,“ you muttered almost inaudibly. „I’ll... wake up... promise.“

Despite your reassurance, you had no control over what would happen. And soon you didn’t even know anything about your surroundings. You didn’t know if Porco actually tried to wake you up and failed. If so, he probably freaked out, blaming himself for letting you fall asleep.

You promised not to leave him.

And until today, you always did your best to keep your promise.

Losin you would break him beyond repair. Even more, because he couldn’t be sure if Marcel was alive and coming back home. Same for his friends, all of the other Warriors left, only he stayed behind. You were the only one he had left. The only person that kept him going, when he saw no point in trying over and over again.

„Porco?“ you addressed him, your voice hoarse because of the cold air. „You didn’t... wake me up.“

Were you really awake? Or was this just a dream? Everything seemed so distant and unreal. Mostly the sky above your head. It was... green. Not entirely, just a couple of long swirling lights shining brighter than the moon. They were unbelievably beautiful, like something out of this world. Like something straight out of one of the fairytales Porco was telling you just a short while ago.

„Am I hallucinating?“ You tried to prop yourself up a bit better to be closer to the sky. All you wanted to do at that moment was reach for the lights and let them caress your freezing skin. For some reason, it felt as if they would be pleasantly warm. „Porco? Do you see that too?“

Even if it was just a dream, it was surely the most beautiful dream you’ve ever had. Seeing something so magical, while all that surrounded you was death, seemed like a miracle no one would believe you witnessed with your own eyes.

„Porco?“

Why wasn’t he responding? Did he not see probably the most stunning thing in this world?

It was hard to tear your gaze away from the lights. Just then you remembered hearing about something like this. The northern lights, yes. Your dad had a pretty thick book about many natural phenomena all around the world, and the northern lights were one of them. In that book, they were also called the Aurora borealis.

No picture ever would accurately depict the true beauty of that rich green illuminating everything below. You could cry right on that spot, that’s how beautiful the lights were.

„Porco...“ you said your boyfriend’s name one more time, before finally looking right at him. His head was resting against the trench wall, while his arms were limply holding you against his body. That’s when you realized his eyes were closed and he probably didn’t hear anything you said. „Hey... wake up.“

You gently rubbed his chest, pressing your lips to his cheek. He loved when you woke him up with a sweet kiss in the morning or after taking a nap together. And you loved the tiniest smile on his lips, while his eyes were still heavy with sleep.

„Please... Porco, wake up. It’s been more than twenty minutes.“

You tried to gently shake him awake, but he didn’t respond. His eyes didn’t open at the sound of your voice. Hell, his whole body felt cold as ice, while he was barely even breathing.

„Porco... I promised... promised to never leave you, but... you can’t leave me either.“ Your frozen fingers gently brushed a few disheveled strands of loose hair from his face. „I need you.“

What were you supposed to do? You could barely move yourself, all the strength had already left your body. There was no way you could save anybody. Not yourself, and not the boy you loved so openly and so sincerely.

„You promised me we’ll go back home and drink my... disgustingly sugary coffee.“

Tears slowly started to collect in your eyes. But you simply didn’t have enough energy to even let them fall onto your cheeks. Your head collapsed back onto his chest, your eyes closing almost immediately. Not even the pretty swirling lights above your head could keep you awake. Not anymore.

The cold was slowly trying to lull you back into the darkness, while your heart was breaking into million pieces. Both of you were dying and there was no way of getting help. If you screamed, nobody would hear you or answer you. All the people around you were long gone or on the other side of this entire conflict.

„Stay with me...“ you mumbled to Porco, focusing on his barely audible heartbeat. „Just hold on. Just a... minute longer. Marley is... coming... back for us.“

You didn’t even believe your own words. If they wanted to, they would have come back already. But why would they? The lives of ordinary Eldians never mattered to them.

Not yours.

Not even Porco’s.

You could feel your consciousness slipping away, knowing your life will be ending right there very soon. All it took was falling asleep again. A few more dreams, maybe. Or nightmares about your inability to save someone you loved more than your own life.

That’s why you kept fighting sleep over and over again, while quietly begging Porco to wake up.

The northern lights kept dancing high above your head, bringing at least some peace to your shattered soul. Tears finally rolled down your cheeks, just a second before you heard a familiar noise. It was coming from somewhere...

From the sky.

You once again raised your head, searching the night sky with teary eyes and chattering teeth. For a minute, the bright green lights were the only things you could register. Only then the dark silhouette of the familiar white airship appeared. You could barely catch your breath from the sudden rush of hope and excitement.

„They came back,“ you breathed, looking at Porco again and kissing his forehead. „They came back, love. Just hold on. Please just... stay with me. Stay with me.“ Trying to move and do something suddenly seemed so easy. The unexpected wave of adrenaline rushing through your veins again made you think up a simple plan in the blink of an eye.

All of you carried a little flare gun on you at all times. You still had yours, while Porco had his. Right in the little black pouch attached to your uniform, usually also carrying spare ammo. Shooting it to announce your location could possibly notify the enemy. But without doing it the soldiers on the airship would never find you in time.

It was the only way.

The very last thing you were able to do, prior to everything going dark before your eyes once again.

Leaving a perfectly warm bed during cold mornings was one of the worst things imaginable. That’s why you were glad, that there was nothing to do and nowhere to go. Staying in bed was the only acceptable thing for the whole day ahead of you.

„I have your disgustingly sugary coffee,“ said Porco with a teasing grin on his lips. He gently kicked the door closed behind him, hands full with two white mugs. „I’m doing this just because I promised you. And only this one time.“

You rolled your eyes at him, carefully rolling onto your back. The gunshot wounds on your side and thigh were healing quite nicely. It had only been three days, but you felt a lot better already. And if nothing else, you had at least a month off your military duties.

Experiencing a morning like this was something close to a miracle. You had no idea, how you got back to your hometown. When you woke up for a short while, the airship was already landing in Liberio. Soldiers and medics were all around you, doing everything in their power to keep you, Porco, and ten other wounded Eldian soldiers alive. Only twelve of you made it back home. None other. Even though almost two hundred soldiers were present in that damned trench.

After a few hours, you woke up in a warm hospital room. The bullets were finally out from your body, the sutures corrected, and the wounds closed and bandaged up. After a blood transfusion, good sleep in a warm bed, and some pain meds, you could slowly start to let go of all that happened during that day.

„Did you sleep well?“ he asked, sitting down on your side of the bed.

„Yeah, wonderfully,“ you assured him, taking one of the mugs. „Thanks to you, of course,“ you added sweetly, kissing him as soon, as he leaned closer, putting his own mug onto the nightstand.

„Sleeping in my bed is always a good idea.“

„It’s not about the bed, but about the company beside me.“ You saw he wanted another kiss, which you didn’t want to deny him. Not after everything. Not after almost losing him. „I love you so much, Porco.“

He smiled, brushing his lips against yours once more. „I figured that out after you saved my life. That was really sexy of you,“ he teased you, rubbing his nose against yours.

„And not freezing to death was really sexy of you.“

When you woke up in the hospital, he was already sitting beside your bed, holding your hand tightly. The doctor told you, that Porco was there almost from the moment he regained consciousness. He demanded to see you and make sure you were okay, even though he was still hurting and confused as well since he really did have a concussion.

He even almost got into a fight with your parents, when they came to see you and wanted to spend some moments alone with you since he simply refused to leave your side.

No wonder he was more than pleased when you spent your first night out of the hospital over at his house. His parents welcomed both of you with so much love and gratitude. Everybody was well aware, that this mission was a close call for you both. If the airship came just twenty minutes later, you probably wouldn’t be able to shoot the flaregun and notify them.

„It’s a shame you didn’t see them,“ you said, when Porco climbed back to bed beside you, almost immediately wrapping you in a tight hug.

„Who?“

„The northern lights, they were absolutely stunning. Like I can hardly describe them with words, they were just... probably the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.“

You still weren’t quite sure, if they were really there. You never asked anyone about them. Who knows, maybe they were just a little fraction of your own imagination, that was needed at that moment for the both of you to survive. Maybe it was just your brain's last attempt in saving itself.

„The whole sky was shining in green swirling lights. It felt like out of a fairytale.“

„Well, you didn’t wake me up to look at them,“ he mocked you, planting a soft kiss on top of your head.

„Sorry, you seemed too busy dying. Maybe next time,“ you answered sarcastically, pinching his cheek and meeting his lips in a quick kiss. „We should return up north one day. Just to look at them throughout the whole night. I’m sure you’ll be mesmerized.“

Porco smiled, pulling you even closer to his chest. It felt so good, even better than ever before. You promised yourself to cherish similar moments with him even more from now on.

None of you knew when the last day of your life would come. But until then, you could try your best and enjoy all that it had to offer. Most importantly the love, that you found in one another and which kept you going through everything.

#porco galliard #porco galliard x reader #porco galliard x you #attack on titan #aot #aot x you #aot x reader #aot warriors #shingeki no kyojin #snk

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vainilla-milk · 1 year

Text

Flufftober Day 12 - Injury and care

pairing: Reiner Braun x Fem! Reader

tags: college au, slight angst, mention of family problems

wordcount: 526

note: i'm back... i guess?

"You know I hate it when you get involved in fights," you say as you clean his temple wound. Reiner remains silent, just listening to you sitting there as the alcohol penetrates and burns into his slightly bloody skin.

You sigh in frustration, he doesn't even look at you, but you know it's because he feels bad that he let you down. "It's your second fight of the month, you almost made it a semester without getting hit on by other guys and-"

"I'm sorry" he interrupts you, his body turns towards you and his hands gently lower yours as he holds his gaze upwards into your eyes. "I know I shouldn't have done it, but it's not like I had a choice"

You drop your tense shoulders, Reiner's thumb meets your cheek and caresses you gently.

"Listen, they messed with me first when you'd left for the bathroom. I wasn't planning on punching them, but when they pounced on me I just thought I'd defend myself"

"What about last time?" you ask dropping your body onto the couch, now having to keep your gaze upwards, simply Reiner was quite a bit taller and bigger than you.

He evades your eyes and simply stares at the floor, his amber gaze showed the exhaustion he felt.

"It was stupid, I guess" you hear his deep voice almost whisper.

You sigh again and rest your head on his shoulder, instinctively you both curl your arms and intertwine your fingers, letting both hands rest on Reiner's thigh.

The room softly lit by the lamp envelopes you in silence, Reiner stroking the back of your hand in circles thinking about what to say to you.

He hasn't been having a good time and feels pushed to the brink of collapse, unfortunately.

"Not so long ago, when I went to visit my mother, my father showed up at the house" he confesses, you open your eyes slightly in surprise but still remain calm. You give his hand a little squeeze in support as he tells you. "It was an unpleasant encounter, as usual"

His voice trailed off as his hand seemed to cling to yours, his gaze remaining lost on the ground.

"Is that what had you so upset?" you ask almost in a whisper, as if you didn't want your own voice to hurt him.

Finally Reiner turns to look at you, his melancholy gaze making you want to hug him for the rest of your life. You listen attentively to the whole altercation in his family, understanding why he had been in such a volatile mood lately.

You comfort him as you and no one else can, with words of support and containment that Reiner had little accustomed to before he met you. When you caress his face, you seal the moment with a kiss, one in which only the lack of air made you separate.

Your foreheads meet and you exchange sweet, understanding glances.

"Thank you" he whispers.

You smile slightly at him. "I love you" you reply.

Your lips meet again, knowing that this would be another magical night where you would show each other deep love.

#reiner aot #aot reiner #reiner x you #reiner x reader #reiner braun x reader #reiner braun x y/n #aot fic #aot imagines #aot x reader #reiner fluff #flufftober 2022 #flufftober2022 #reiner brainrot #aot warriors

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rosec0urtz · 2 years

Text

Reiner: y/n why do you love me?

Me holding his massive earth shattering back breaking fabric stretching big bouncing tiddies: you make me laugh 💖

#attack on titan #aot #snk #aot incorrect quotes #aot warriors #reiner braun #Reiner #Reiner x reader #reiner x you #x reader #fluff #shingeki no kyojin

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koiishyy · 1 day

Text

The death of peace of mind (time is a thief)

ღ summary : Your keen sense for imminent threats and disaster's goes haywire during an otherwise once in a lifetime festival, and if you were given one more minute, then everything might have been different. pairing : porco galliard x braun! reader tags/content warnings : graphic depictions of violence, swearing, depictions of a panic attack and survivors guilt. pre-established relationship, hurt/comfort. a/n: this is the first reader fic i've uploaded to tumblr since i was fourteen, be gentle with my soul pls. enjoy!

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There’s a taste lingering on the tip of your tongue.

It’s sickeningly sweet and accompanied by an icy chill that sends goosebumps pricking across your biceps. Dribbling down the side of your hand, it trickles across your skin towards your sleeve. At this rate, it’ll stain the cream-colored uniform. With another lick, you quell the racing liquid.

Strawberries.

It tastes like well-ripened strawberries.

Ice cream isn’t a luxury you’re often afforded within the Liberio internment camp. It’s one of many foods that is solely attainable past the gates. A delicacy that the Marleyans decided to withhold from the spawns of devils. You can stain your hands with the blood of their enemies and do their dirty work, but they can’t even allow the simple, regular pleasure of ice cream.

Today is a different tale, however. Today is a celebration. The war against the Allied Forces took longer than predicted, but even with the countless setbacks, Marley’s victory reigns true.

All thanks to the race they despise so much, of course.

Now, there’s vendors packed, lining the streets of Liberio. Exotic foods and little knick-knacks sit front and present at every booth. It’s supposed to put the foreign guests at ease and make them feel happy that they signed a peace treaty with the country that proceeded to massacre them. There’s supposed to be a play about what you have no idea—at some point in the debrief you had tuned out Zeke’s voice.

The younger candidate’s run amok before you, weaving through the crowd with excitement gleaming in their eyes. Every sweet treat entices them, and every savory dish catches their wonder-filled eyes. Of course, your sister is among them; in fact, Gabi is the most vocal of them. Her brown eyes ogle fascinated over a monstrosity of a chocolate drizzled crepe, the desire to stuff her belly full of the unique pastries setting her up for stomach-aching punishment later.

She’s babbling to Reiner, whom, for once, you’re grateful for, over the treat. He’s been graciously paying for the food, even at your protests.

Over the years of your youth, you’ve butted heads more times than you’d like to admit with your cousin. His arrogance over being a half-blooded Marleyan being the biggest argument starter. Now, after he returned from Paradis, he’s different. Different in a way you can’t quite put your finger on. Whatever he went through with the island devils changed him. You don’t argue anymore, not like you used to.

Pieck has also been keeping up well with the candidates, trailing after them and engaging in conversation. You watch as money exchanges hands and Gabi receives her crepe. Pieck laughs as she practically inhales it after the first bite. You even manage to capture the faint crack of a smile from Reiner.

Udo and Zofia stand off to the side. Udo does most of the talking you notice. The kid has the innate ability to chatter on about any topic. Zofia listens, never once interrupting him or telling him to quiet down.

A little ways away, you spot the Grice brothers, who have ventured just a tad bit further than the group. Colt ruffles Falco’s hair, which earns him annoyed swats from Falco. You’re surprised that Falco isn’t glued to Gabi’s side.

Everyone’s having a fantastic time. Plenty of laughter is being had, and delicious food is being consumed and enjoyed. It’s good company. It’s a beautiful day. Most of the veteran warriors have even let their guards down.

Everyone is happy. So why can’t you be?

“Your ice cream’s melting.”

The words jolt you violently from your endless thoughts. Physically, your head recoils, jerking upwards in the direction of the familiar voice. In the midst of staring off into space, Porco has retreated to your side. He looks at you with a hint of concern and a wealth of curiosity written across his features.

Your eyes trail towards the half-eaten ice cream cone tucked in your grasp. It threatens to become a watery soup. The pink-tinted liquid trails in multiple lines down your hands, sticky and warm now.

“Shit,” You hiss softly, transferring the cone between your hands. You shake the hand covered in liquid, flinging droplets of ice cream against the ground. You’re not even sure why you’re still holding onto it—your appetite has long gone. Porco sighs, pulling a brown napkin from his jacket pocket. He extends it in your direction and you gladly take it. “Thanks.”

“What’s on your mind?” He asks.

“What?” You blink, tossing the ice cream into a nearby garbage bin. Shaking your head, you wipe your hands clean. “Nothing.”

Porco gives you a knowing look—a look you despise. A frown tugs at your lips. He never misses the slightest change in your behavior. You hate it.

“You always finish your food.” Porco points out. “Lying to me is stupid; why don’t you just tell me?”

He’s right; you hate that he’s right. Lying to him is stupid, considering you’re more honest with Porco than anyone else. You’re being difficult for no reason.

Well, you do have a reason, just not a particularly good one.

“I just have a bad feeling.”

Porco’s eyebrows furrow. “About this and the play?” He inquires, and you nod in response. “The allied forces have already signed the treaty. The war is over. No one would be dumb enough to plan an attack in Liberio anyhow.”

“Treaties are broken all the time.” You remind him.

Enchanting hazel eyes trail over your face, and your heart skips a beat. “It’s your gut, isn’t it?” Porco asks.

Instinctively, your hand grazes against your abdomen, a nauseating feeling building in your stomach. “My gut’s never wrong.” You say. “You should know, it’s saved your ass more times than I can count.”

“Not every time.” Porco argues. “Also, I save my own ass and everyone else's—and yours too.”

You roll your eyes. “Name one time I’ve been wrong.”

Porco’s lips part, the resemblance of a word forming on them, only for no sound to come out. They bob open and closed, and you can almost visibly see the gears turning in his brain. He looks stumped. He struggles for a moment, too stubborn to accept the truth, before finally relenting to the glaring reality.

Your gut has never been wrong.

This keen sense for imminent disaster was one of the reasons you earned your warrior candidacy. Gabi calls it your sixth sense. You could sense a threat from a mile away. No one could ever pull a stealth attack on you because your gut was never - and has never been wrong.

Porco’s eyes comb the crowd before wrapping one of his large hands around your wrist. He gently tugs you to an abrupt stop, redirecting your course to a secluded portion of the street—in an alleyway between two nearby buildings. The group continues onward, temporarily oblivious to the loss of two of its members.

Porco turns to you, serious as ever. His intense gaze causes butterflies to awaken and flutter about in your stomach. “Say your gut’s right; do you think we’d need to be worried about it?” He asks, his hand falling from your wrist to your hand and curling his fingers around your own. “It’d have to be one hell of a sneak attack.”

An exhausted, tense sigh falls from your lips. “Of course it would, but you saw how badly Reiner’s armored titan was destroyed by the artillery.”

“That’s because Reiner’s useless.” He grumbles under his breath.

You scowl, continuing with your train of thought. “And Pieck’s equipment takes precious time to transport and set up—time we won’t have.”

Apprehension lingers in him, but you can tell he believes you—or at the very least in you. Your eyes flicker across his face, knowing that he trusts you and that this pointless questioning is only for his peace of mind. He knows you would never be this worked up over something if you didn’t believe it. He knows you. He knows you.

So, he relents.

“I’ll let Pieck know.” Porco says, his hand trailing up to your cheek. He cups the side of your face, sighing. You lean into his touch—his soft, gentle touch. It’s a side of Porco that only you see regularly. “No one will trust just a gut feeling—especially not from us. So stay alert, okay? Stay near me until this is over.”

Relief floods through you instantaneously, and you nod. “I’ve got your back.”

“And I’ve got yours.” Porco smirks. He gazes at you for a moment, his cheeks growing a pinkish hue to them. His usual cool confidence falters. Shyly, he murmurs, “You look pretty today; did I tell you that?”

“No, you didn’t.” You grin. “But I’m only pretty today, though?” You tease.

“What? Well, no, of course not.” Porco flusteredly stammers out. A giggle breaks through your lips. “You look pretty every day; just today you—ah, goddammit, nevermind—forget it.”

It’s rare that you get moments like these. Moments where you are not warriors or dirt-blooded Eldians. Moments where your lives are simple and you get to act like every normal couple.

Embarrassed by your teasing, Porco grumpily attempts to depart. Softly laughing, you tug him back to you. “C’mon, I’m kidding, Pock.” You say, pulling him in by his jacket. “Stay with me. Just for another minute, please?”

He can never resist those puppy-dog eyes of yours. Porco sighs and obliges. “One more minute.”

The two of you lock eyes, and the world dissolves around you. Porco leans down, pressing his lips to yours. One kiss, two kisses, three. His lips envelope yours, gentle but a little sloppily. His hand slides up the small of your back, keeping your body pressed into his.

It’s bliss. Loving Porco is a private affair; these moments that bear the threat of the public eye are few and far between. You cherish them, silently wishing to scream your love from the rooftops. A wish that will never come to fruition—not with your positions.

Coming up for air, you pull back. Still not wanting to break the bubble just yet, Porco leans to press his forehead against yours. The tip of your nose kisses his, and a small smile tugs at your lips. Your eyes lull shut once more, savoring every moment of this temporary peace.

Until you hear the distinct sound of someone calling for you, Gabi’s voice rings across the streets. Your eyes spring open, and you catch a glimpse of her on the main road, Reiner in tow. You still, watching as they disappear down the street.

“Minute over.” You murmur.

Porco hums in response. “Minute over.” He echoes, pressing a kiss to your forehead. “Let’s go.”

---

One more minute.

Clawing at your throat, bile threatens to spill over from you. There’s an aching in your chest, a hammering against your ribcage. Your heart threatens to crack the very ribs that protect it. Your footsteps feel heavy, weighted by cement. There’s a dull pain thudding behind your dry, bloodshot eyes, the capillaries in them threatening to burst at the seams.

You wish you would have stayed in that alleyway for just one more minute.

Corpses would still litter the streets of the place you call home, crimson blood pooling against the concrete and staining the pavement. The hospitals would still be overfilled—maximized to their capacity—and even then, with patients scattered across the hallways. Smoke would still billow, flames roaring in the midst of building debris. The crisp, icy water of the sea would still hold the remnants of Marley’s naval fleet—pieces of their vessels floating aimlessly across the ocean.

A minute wouldn’t have prevented this. A minute wouldn’t have fixed this.

But for a minute, the vile image of Zofia’s pulverized upper body wouldn’t be on repeat in your mind—the mental image of her limp legs connected to nothing haunting you whenever you squeezed your eyes shut. A minute would have spared you the feeling of Udo’s arm slipping from your grasp in the midst of the panic. A minute would have given you the opportunity to hold your sister close, keeping Gabi by your side and never letting her go. Another would have prevented her from boarding that airship and taking Falco with her.

Breathe.

You have to order yourself to take deep breaths, lest you claw at your skin and tear the feeling of guilt out of your muscles. The miserable feeling clutches your chest like a vise, constricting your lungs. Tears threaten to spill from the corners of your eyes. You blink them back—you don’t get to cry, not yet.

Breathe.

Forcing out another sputtering breath is like swallowing a hot coal. The acidic burn in your throat is only reinforced by the action. You keep swallowing, attempting to provide some sort of aid to no avail.

The Paradis devils. Eren Yeager. They’ve destroyed your home and killed innocent civilians who had nothing to do with the Warriors actions. And now they have Falco and your sister—your baby sister.

Through the shroud of grief, there is only panic.

Is she a prisoner of war? Is she dead? Are they going to torture her for information? Will they use the same methods that Marley does? You don’t even want to think about it.

Your gut tells you she’s alive.

And it’s so hard to breathe.

Breathe.

You failed them.

It’s clear as day, plain and simple. You should have spoken up and told someone with a higher ranking about your gut feeling. Instead, you doubted your judgment. General Magath might have listened, though the rest really would have never believed something as silly as a gut feeling.

But you did fail them: Zofia, Udo, Gabi, Falco, Pieck, Reiner, Colt...

Porco.

Oh god, Porco.

You finally reach his bedside, unsteady and five seconds away from completely unraveling. The feeling of breaking completely only intensifies as your eyes roam Porco’s unconscious body. The Warriors took a brutal assault from Eren Yeager, one that not even your gut could have predicted.

Temporarily, relief floods you. Porco is alive; his body is regenerating. It’s clear the doctors have done all they can for him, the only course of action to allow the titan’s power to complete the rest.

It’s the worst shape you’ve ever seen him in after a battle.

You practically collapse into a nearby chair, unable to stand on the two feet that have been carrying you throughout Liberio tonight. All you can do for a moment is stare at him, watching as his chest slowly rises and deflates. He’s alive. He’s alive, he’s alive, he’s alive...

And Udo and Zofia are not.

Shakily, your hand reaches out for Porco’s, his fingers clammy and cold to the touch as you clasp your hand around his. Thousands of emotions rush through your veins, and your mind fights tooth and nail to make sense of all of them. You cling to him, the relief of him being alive and the guilt of being glad that he is alive swirling within you all at once. How are you going to be glad he’s alive when your sister is gone and people are dead? How are you going to feel glad he’s alive when you should have been by his side in the first place?

You don’t know.

You break.

The tears come pouring out in rapid succession. “I’m sorry.” You say this through gritted teeth, lowering your head against Porco’s arm. “I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have left your side.”

You fall asleep curled over his bedside, his hand in yours, clinging on for dear life.

---

Porco doesn’t wake for a while, even after his body has recuperated.

Over the span of his unconsciousness, you’ve been flip-flopping between the hospital and your home in what little free time you’re offered, checking on your parents and giving your aunt updates on Reiner.

Your parents are wrought with grief, convinced that Gabi has been killed. The crying is incessant from your mother, while your father is stone-cold and quiet. But you know better—Gabi is not dead. You don’t tell them that, though; the fate of her being alive in the hands of the island devils might be worse than her being dead.

When Porco does wake up, you’re there.

You barely register the subtle flex of his fingers against yours; he is far too busy spacing off. Porco stirs to life, a pained grunt erupting from his lips. His eyes flutter open, adjusting to the haze of his newfound surroundings and trying to come to terms with what he remembered before blacking out. By the time you notice, he’s already speaking.

“You're going to squeeze my fingers off.” Porco’s raspy voice grumbles from beneath you. Dazed, his tired eyes peer up at you from beneath heavy lids.

His first words to you almost want to make you laugh—or cry—solely because of the fact that he’s speaking. Porco’s always been terrible with words. When he confessed his love to you, it took you a good ten minutes to actually understand what he was saying. It’s one of the most endearing things about him.

But you can’t muster a laugh, and you’ve almost cried your body's weight in water. There’s nothing left for you to do besides softly gasp, “You’re awake.”

"Yeah, and I hurt like hell.” Porco murmurs, Adam’s apple bobbing as he swallows hard. You turn and reach for the water at his bedside as he props himself up. He squeezes your hand as he takes it. “What happened?”

Your body stills, reforming itself into something statue-like. One wrong move, and you're certain your limbs will crumble into dust. Regardless of what you believe, you have to tell him everything, much like you had to fill in Pieck when she awoke.

So you do. You tell Porco everything that has happened or did happen as a result of Paradis’s raid on Liberio. You recount the death toll as you know it, including Zofia and Udo. You assure him that his parents are okay. You tell him the effort to rebuild the destruction and scrub the city clean is already under way. You tell him about Pieck and Reiner, you tell him about Zeke.

Much like you did, Porco goes through a range of emotions. The prevalent one is anger; you can see it bubble and dwell beneath his skin. A fierce look glints in his eye, and you let him break into a tangent, surprised that he managed to keep his anger controlled this long. Deep down, you know he blames himself, much like you do.

Once he cools, he looks at you. “How’s Gabi?” He asks.

Your mouth runs dry. You had been purposefully pushing that part of the story until the bitter end. “Gabi’s….Gabi’s gone.” You strain out.

“Gabi’s dead?” Porco’s eyes grow wide. He leans forward, all attention on you.

You shake your head. “Gabi’s not dead.” What little tears you can produce struggle their way out, burning white-hot at the corners of your eyes. “S-she’s gone. They took her. She boarded that damn airship, and Falco went with her.”

It becomes a struggle to breathe again. The all-consuming panic crashes over you like a tidal wave. You wish you could be stronger about it, like you have been, but in the presence of Porco, you shatter all over again.

“Hey," Porco coaxes, tugging at you. “C’mere.”

You crawl into the creaky hospital cot with him, careful about where you put pressure. You don’t care what your position is or who sees it; you need him. Porco seems to have the same sentiment as he guides you. You rest your head against his chest, thankful for the slow, steady beat of his heart that thuds in your ears.

“She’s gone, Pock. They took her and Falco, and they killed Zofia, and it’s all my fault.” You whimper against his chest, once again fighting back the trickling downpour on your cheeks. Absent-mindedly, Porco’s fingers comb through your hair.

“Don’t say that.” Porco firmly commands. “This isn’t your fault. This isn’t anyone’s fault but those fucking island devils'. I swear-“

“Porco.”

He sharply inhales, running his free hand along his mouth. “What?”

“I should have had your back.” You say, curling into his body. “I’m - I'm really glad you’re alive.”

Porco’s fingers grow still in your hair. You hear the quick skip of his heartbeat, and your eyes flicker to his face. A faint smirk pulls at his lips. “They can’t kill me that easily, not when I have you to come back to.” He tells you. Porco pulls you as close as he can, mushing your bodies together. “Don’t worry,” he whispers. “We’ll get Gabi back, I promise. Whatever it takes.”

You believe him, body and soul, because you know him. Nodding at his words, face brushing against the rough fabric of his shirt, you mold yourself against the shape of his frame. You clutch to the only thing that makes sense in the world at the moment—tired and weary.

“I love you.” You murmur.

A quick second passes, and you begin to believe he hadn’t heard you, until he murmurs back a soft "I love you, too.”

And in that minute, you wish you could stay in his arms forever.

#aot #attack on titan #shingeki no kyojin #marley warriors #porco galliard #porco galliard x reader #x reader #aot x reader

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