i have a love/hate relation with the fill/bucket tool

day 17 - alternate universe

guys i fw genderbend aus sooooooo hard i love the girlypops

Started watching a show with one character that my friends just absolutely hate, like truly despise, they think he's shallow and see no sense of redeeming qualities or characteristics or anything, they cannot *stand* him, but I... think he's so far the most complex and compelling character of the series.

Like, sure, he's done some questionable things, he's very much the product of his terrible upbringing, perpetuating the cycle of abuse; he's not quote unquote "good," but he's interesting *as a character,* you see how he cycles between doing good things and bad, you understand why he is the way he is, you see how he digs himself deeper, and my friends said well, they prefer characters who *break* the cycle, who dig themselves out of it, which, yeah, that's fine, sure, but... you do realize it doesn't always work like that, right? Some people don't break the cycle, some people can't, and not always for lack of trying. And even if it did work like that, you do realize the difficulty of that task, right? Breaking that cycle doesn't just happen overnight (or over the length of a single episode or even several), it's messy, it's ugly, it's gradual, it takes time, and this particular show is still very much in its infancy.

Even then, if that really is their caveat, in this case, in the little details, even if he screws up more often than not and isn't directly shunned, even if it's not in conventional, accepted or huge ways, you can clearly see this character actually *is* trying? To be a better father, to care for his friends, amidst his own issues and his fear of being seen as vulnerable or taken for granted, underneath a very obvious mask *designed* to make people see him one way or be disgusted by him, but audiences have no patience anymore... and no ability to sense when a mask *is* a mask, even when it slips, even when presented on a stage.

I mean, I'm not saying they have to *like* this character, to each their own, he's weird, he is occasionally awful, I understand the distaste on that front, but it's genuinely disheartening to see all the other details of his personality just completely fly under the radar or over everyone's heads because no one wants to look beyond the surface, and no one wants a "damaged" character anything less than pure or palatable in specific ways. No one wants a less than perfect victim.

And yeah I know I'm overreacting a little, again, I reiterate, you can like or dislike any character you want for whatever reasons you please, god knows I hate plenty of characters and some don't have any redeeming qualities even writing wise, but... sometimes looking at things just a little longer or through a different perspective can give you a whole new respect or understanding you might never have thought of.

Characters are complex. People are complex. And sometimes, it really *is* that deep, and you can't expect every character or piece of media to hold your hand and directly spell out its moral code for you like it's made for children.

As a man, having a partner that loves you for YOU is so important, because often times men equate them being needed for emotional/monetary support as love and that’s far from love. Men need to seek out partners who don’t just want them for money or sex, men need to be loved and cherished and adored and valued as a lover. There’s more to love in a relationship for men than how deep their pockets are, or how well they spoil/pamper their women, or how satisfying they make sex for their partners. Men need to want more out of love, I feel like that’s the problem most men have.

I wanted to come on here and say, thank you to those who are protesting. You are speaking for a bigger collective that do not wish to be harmed in any way and/or simply cannot. The compassion is felt through more people than you realize, it means more than words can describe and you are all honored. Thank you. We are all doing our best and what we can to the best of our ability, even those who are forced silent by threat. They cannot silence us all.

Humanity NEEDS to operate on a humanitarian level, how dare the government put monetary value on life; it is CRUEL and IMHUMANE. It should not be like this. It won't be like this for any longer. I promise.

There is something underlying, and there always has, you are not crazy. It is all enforced. It is on purpose.

Free Palestine. Free Gaza. Free Congo.

being asexual: get rekt losers i dont wanna fuck and u cant do anything about it

being aromantic: lacking romance alienates me. lacking romance makes me cool. i wish for it. i hate it. both of these things are true. neither of these things are true. i think about it every day. i never think about it. it will haunt me until the day i die and no one can do anything about it, least of all me

im like. The biggest digimon defender ever its fucked up that it also really sucks tbh

Temenos Mistral for the character ask game! (Because you were talking about them earlier!)

First impression: "Oh, he seems neat, wonder what his story will be about."

Impression now: I love Temenos, one of my top favorite characters from the game, probably my scond-fave after Ochette. He's such an interesting character and his story (gripes I might have with the pacing aside) was unexpected for a "cleric" story, based on what I'd seen with Ophilia and some of the clerics from CotC. Honestly I'd write up an entire character analysis if I had the energy to do so, bc there is so much going on with him.

Favorite moment: A few different ones, but I really like how any time that the façade he puts up starts to slip, this sheer force of anger slips through--that's good stuff. Love that his "In Pursuit of Truth" theme also sounds much more energetic and aggressive when compared to his normal theme song (and like, I'm not well-versed with music terms and stuff, but Temenos is also the only character whose "In Pursuit of..." song has a significantly different tempo and more aggressive melody when compared to the standard theme, if I recall correctly).

Idea for a story: Hmm, do the two rewrite ideas of his main narrative that I have floating in my head count? Like I've said, something about the general pacing of events and a handful of narrative elements in his story don't really work for me, and as a result his story arc doesn't seem as strong compared to the others' stories. Not all of it is "bad writing" or anything, like the writers clearly had a plan in mind, and I know some of it is just my personal taste...but yeah, I have a "canon compliant, trying to match the general narrative motifs and themes of the rest of the characters" rewrite idea, and a "mostly canon compliant, but definitely changing some things to fit my personal tastes which therefore go against one or two of the overall recurring themes and motifs" rewrite idea. I'll probably never do anything with them though bc it's more like...anytime I come across story writing that I thought was really good, I try to figure out what about it I liked and how the writers set it up, and any time I come across story writing that doesn't work, I do the same thing where I try to figure out why I didn't like it and then try to figure out how I'd write it myself, and this is like, a little mental enrichment I do just for fun and also to try and sharpen my own preferences and sensibilities for storytelling and writing. So like, I don't technically have that much beef with his story, and I don't want to come off as "I'm a better writer than the original writers" or even that I thought the original arc was bad (it really wasn't bad writing per se), it's more just a thing I came up with for myself for funsies and as a mental exercise in narrative, more so than an actual like, critique of the original story.

Unpopular opinion: I uh, I don't ship him with Crick...or anyone actually. In fact the Temenos x Crick ship really does not float my goats (nothing against anyone who enjoys the ship, you do you and all that, it's just not my cup of tea). I actually read and more or less headcanon Temenos as aroace, and even if I didn't, he's got like 2934820398432 unresolved trust issues, so I'd have a hard time seeing him be able to enter into a romantic relationship anyhow. But that's just my reading, again no shade to anyone who has a different reading/headcanons.

Favorite relationship: I love his interactions with all the other main characters, but I find his weird friendship with Ochette to be really, really interesting especially (I'd write up an analysis and list of thoughts on this too if I had the energy). Outside of the main cast, what little we get to see of his interactions with Jorg, along with what we learn after Jorg gets murdered, is really fascinating to me as well. They have a very unusual familial/professional relationship (although given that Benedict and Anna's wildly unconventional familial relationship is also super interesting to me, I'm thinking I might just be an enjoyer of unconventional and murky adopted familial relationships in fiction).

Favorite headcanon: I am fond of the idea of him being related to Alpates and Throne by blood, although as I've turned the headcanon over in my head and whittled it like a wood carving, it's developed into something really specific with basically no in-game source to back it up, so it's a 100% bona fide "I just made something up and went with it" headcanon that I keep modifying and changing. Basically, I think he's got a situation similar to Hikari's, but significantly more subdued since he doesn't have an evil shadow version of himself trying to talk him into murdering everyone, and that his blood ties to Alpates's bloodline are stronger than his blood ties to D'arqest. Some more specifics about that under the cut bc explaining myself requires talking about late-game spoilers.

(Specifically rather than being directly Claude's son, I think it's entirely possible some of the Blacksnakes were able to have kids of their own, like Father did, without Claude finding out about them and having the child killed, and that even potentially those kids might have had kids, thinning the blood ties to Claude further--so rather than being Throne's half-sibling, Temenos would be more uh...*checks cheat-sheet chart for familial ties* ummm...her half-grand-nephew, god I hate everything about that phrase why does anything relating to Claude have to be a string of "wtf??"s). I keep changing this headcanon slightly (I did originally start from the base of having him and Throne as half-siblings), so who knows just how much it's gonna change before I settle on something I'm really happy with, but I do like the idea a lot.

We saw the beginning, now I be thinking about all the possible...uhh the word is like aftermath...epilogues? Seeing as the narrative will be left open ended, we can hypothesize and fantasize just about anything!

This one is Harvey carrying on with what he idealized as a normal life, getting married, having kids, going out with the boys, stuff you see on TV. But Cammy is still there, still a part of his life. And that's pretty neat. And also I cry.

gn today is such a bad day and its not even 11 am

Maybe this is an unpopular opinion but I would much rather have multiple shorter chapters than one 50 page chapter. It's just too long

Doodle dump of my favourite boys

nah nah this shits hitting to close nowww

my boss: if a student is having issues with their professors not being lenient while they have covid, don't tell them what to do. let them figure out how to contact their deans by themselves

me: 👀 tells the students exactly what to do and gives them their deans' contact info and to let me know if they need any help from me to get their professors to be decent human beings

mama who bore me rant bases on the dutch lyrics

chorus part one: “mama jij kneedde” basically meaning that her mother shaped her which is true both in the way the girls are taught to see the world and their bodies. but when it comes to translating you can also take kneaded which does not fit the syllables but does sound like need which gets to the point of needing the kids to help earn money or keep the house clean “jouw woorden leerden mij niets van bloed en pijn” meaning her mom never told her things bout blood and pain. which is a little odd to me given the fact that wendla is already having her period as we hear later in this scene but also to the end of wendlas life her mother never tells her were they go or what is going to happen

chorus part two: which doesnt resemble the english lyrics at all besides the fact that they both talk about crying. “mama de dromen van hel en hemel en zondig zijn” which is talking bout the dreams, hell and heaven and being sinful which implies that she, and the other girls, have the same desires as the boys.

verse one: it still still talks about christ coming by the door but “je steekt een kaars aan en hoopt dat het baat” is talking about if lighting the candle will be enough, because it will bring light but maybe it wont suffice. which kinda ties in with the grave yard scene as well as the one with melchiors parents during whispering in which a candle is lit but its not enough to stop whats already happening

verse two: “of beter schuil je, huil je tot hij je weet te vinden maar als hij komt dan voelt het als te laat” its better to hide and cry waiting for Him to find you but when he comes it feels like its to late. pretty much a whole reference to whispering and what happens in the end