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#anyways let me know if i need to tag something else because dunno

steddieas-shegoes · 4 months

Text

assistant to the dm, steve harrington

for @steddielovemonth prompt 'secretly studying nerd shit' rated t | 1,361 words | cw: mild language | tags: friends to lovers, getting together, d&d references (could be inaccurate since i don't actually play), banter that's also flirting

🐉🐉🐉🐉🐉🐉🐉🐉🐉🐉🐉🐉

"I just don't understand why you needed to borrow my character sheets. You don't even know what most of this means," Dustin said as he handed over the papers.

"I just need to see something," Steve replied, taking the papers and adding it to his mess of a kitchen table. Other character sheets were strewn all over, most filled out, but some empty. A couple of books were open on random pages, recognizable images of weapons and monsters visible to anyone who walked by.

"Why does it look like you're studying for a college degree in D&D?" Dustin asked.

Steve looked up at him, eyes blank, mouth in a straight line. "Because I finally got accepted to Indiana State. Go away."

"Fine! I want those sheets back though!" Dustin said as he left Steve to his studying.

Hours must have passed, the light outside turning to dusk before Steve thought to take a break. His head hurt, his vision was blurry, and he didn't feel any closer to understanding a god damn thing.

He thunked his head against the table, letting out pained groan as his head throbbed.

"Are you looking for something or have you decided to finally play with us?" Eddie's voice said directly behind him, making him nearly fall out of his seat. "Shit, sorry. Thought you heard me come in."

Eddie's hands were on Steve's arms, squeezing, centering.

Like he knew exactly what he needed to lose the slight hint of remaining panic left in his chest.

"I was just trying to figure out if there actual dragons in this game or if that was also made up," Steve said, sitting back and putting distance between them. He couldn't breathe when Eddie was touching him, which was often. He was starting to worry about oxygen deprivation to his brain. "Disappointed to find out the dungeons part seems like it's up to the DM."

"The whole thing is pretty made up, Stevie. That's the point," Eddie smirked, but it fell away when Steve turned back to the messy table. "Are you, like, wanting to play?"

And this is why he wanted to keep it a secret. Maybe he shouldn't have had everything spread out in the open like this, but he'd assumed he was safe in his own home. With the door locked. And with Eddie supposedly playing the Hideout tonight.

He looked back at Eddie. "Why are you here?"

"Dustin said something about you not answering the phone after he left hours ago and you seemed pissed off or something," Eddie shrugged. "Just wanted to check on you."

"The phone? It didn't ring." Steve didn't think so anyway. He had admittedly tuned his surroundings out entirely once Dustin was gone. "But it's Tuesday."

"Uh huh. It is Tuesday. How long have you been sitting at this table?"

"Ha. Funny." Steve rolled his eyes. "You play the Hideout Tuesdays. Tuesdays are for Corroded Coffin, Wednesdays are for dinner with Wayne, and Thursdays are Hellfire."

Eddie blinked at him. "Yes, usually that's true. But, wait. Sorry. You have my schedule memorized?"

"I mean, some of it, yeah. The parts where I know you won't be nearby or easily reached."

Steve knew it was ridiculous, but how the hell could he make sure he was safe if he didn't even know what Eddie was doing?

Eddie looked like he wanted to say something else about it, but must have changed his mind. He pulled out the chair next to Steve, turned it towards him, and sat down.

"So you've been studying this stuff for..." Eddie leaned in, eyebrows raised in silent question.

"I dunno. A few weeks. I didn't have most of the sheets until a couple days ago though," Steve gestured towards the papers spread out. "I still don't really get it."

"You've been studying for weeks? Stevie, why didn't you just ask me or any of the kids to help explain it?" Eddie almost sounded hurt. "I've been playing for half my life! And I've been a DM for half of that!"

Truthfully, Steve was trying to learn so he could have conversations with Eddie about the stuff he liked. That was basically lesson number one on how to get someone to like you, and Steve had already tried the music thing and failed.

He just wasn't that into the echo of loud guitars and angry drums.

He couldn't exactly ask Eddie to teach him everything and then turn around and try to use what he taught him to flirt with him. That was lame and embarrassing.

"Steve?" Eddie had his hand on Steve's leg, leaning in further towards Steve. He must've been trying to get Steve's attention while he was lost in thought. "I'm kidding. I mean, I wish you'd said something sooner, but if this is how you get into it, I'm not gonna stop you."

"I just wanted to surprise you."

Steve could hear how pitiful that sounded, could hear the whine in his voice that he wasn't able to pull his plan off. As if Eddie would even care! Eddie was the most easygoing, laidback, chaotic person he'd ever met. He would just be happy to have someone else in his little club.

"Surprise me? For what?"

He was also incredibly slow when it came to feelings.

"Because I want to spend more time with you! Because I like you! Because I want you to like me!" Steve tried not to sound frustrated, but his headache was turning into a real problem, and he was tired, and sick of hiding things. Robin told him to just be honest, so he was. "I wanted to surprise you the next time Hellfire was here and have all this knowledge, but it's hard! I don't even know how you keep up with most of this, let alone all the characters? There's like...at least 800 options for how to use weapons and spells. I can't even remember half the races or classes or whatever. I don't even know if those are the same thing. And I keep getting distracted thinking about how you look when you stand at the end of the table and do one of those stupid accents."

"Are they stupid if they're this distracting?" Eddie was smirking, suddenly more confident than Steve had maybe ever seen him.

"They are stupid. That's why it's distracting. And I'm stupid for letting it get to me!" Steve leaned forward, put his head on Eddie's shoulder. The angle wasn't the best, but he didn't care. "You get to me so bad, Munson."

"You're kinda easy to get to, Harrington." Eddie's lips briefly pressed against the side of Steve's head. "Been waiting for you to catch up."

"What do you mean?" Steve pulled away. "I've been trying to get you to realize for months!"

"You came to one show at the Hideout. I think Robin's been to more shows and she's a lesbian."

"She told you?!"

"Steve, she spilled every secret she's ever had when she kept me company in the hospital. I think I know things you don't even know."

Steve let his head fall down against Eddie's shoulder again. "I should've known you were teaming up."

"I wouldn't call it that. She just wanted to look out for us," Eddie's hand cupped the back of Steve's head. "So what did you learn?"

"Probably nothing useful."

"Well, it's easier to be an active learner. I could use an assistant on Thursday if you want some hands on experience," Eddie's fingers scratched at Steve's scalp, melting his brain and making him feel like he was completely weightless. "If you just wanna watch, that can be arranged too."

"You don't let people watch," Steve mumbled against his shoulder, his weight sagging against Eddie.

"I think I can bend my own rule for my boyfriend, right?" Steve could feel Eddie's heartbeat quickening beneath his ear.

His face felt warm as he realized what Eddie was implying. "Only if your boyfriend can sit next to you."

"I think that can be arranged."

"Oh, and I'd like to trap Dustin's character."

Eddie snorted, kissed Steve's head again. "That can be arranged, too."

#steddie #steve harrington #eddie munson #stranger things #steddielovemonth

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jasntodds · 5 months

Text

Petrichor [15]

Pairing: Jason Todd x Fem!Powered!Reader (little bit of fwb)

Words: 11,631

Chapter Warnings: Swearing, angst, fluff, blood, violence, canon violence, mentions of gore, mentions of drug use

Summary: ❝Pylades: I’ll take care of you. Orestes: It’s rotten work. Pylades: Not to me. Not if it’s you.❞

Gotham is home, not just for Jason but for you, too. And now that you’re both finally back home, together, you’re ready to see where this next chapter brings the two of you. He’s your best friend and you’re his. And you both might want a little something more with being back home, the place you both feel most comfortable. Surely, nothing could possibly go wrong now.

A/N: Here's a chapter a week early for the holidays lol I tried so hard to get this posted this week lol Merry Christmas and happy holidays!! Or happy December if you don't celebrate anything!! You can add yourself to the tag list below, ask me to be tagged, or you can follow my library blog @jasntoddslibrary and turn on notifications if you prefer that!! I love feedback, I swear it keeps me posting on a weekly basis 😭

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The next day comes around, Jason waking up first and it’s the first full night’s rest he’s gotten since coming back. It wasn’t exactly the best sleep he’s ever gotten, given his general discomfort but it was a lot better than how he has been. And there’s a smile that comes to his face as you're still cuddled into his side, his arm draped around your shoulders. For a second, he thinks you could just stay like this. He doesn’t really feel too bad right now so you could just stay like this. Forget everything about Crane and the Titans, you can exist how you were before. It feels like it did then anyway. But, Jason knows that can’t happen. Not yet.

With a clear head and some sleep, he knows he needs to make it right with everyone else. He wants to go home. He doesn’t want to spend his life hiding out and making you hide with him. That’s not fair to either of you. That’s not fair to Gar either or Molly. Jason wants his own life back. It’s time he takes it back into his own hands and that means asking you to talk to Dick when you wake up.

Jason lets out a steady breath, carefully trying to move out from under you but it ends up stirring you awake slightly, earning him a groan.

“Stay.” You mutter. “Tired.” Your hand slides over Jason’s torso until you reach his side where you grip the excess fabric of his hoodie.

Jason’s chest rumbles beneath you with a chuckle. He rests his chin on top of your head instead of kissing you like he’d normally do. The smile starts to fall short as the chuckle subsides.

“When was the last time you slept?” He asks quietly.

“When was the last time you slept?” You ask right back, keeping your eyes closed.

“Asked you first.” Jason quips back, subconsciously pulling you closer into him.

He gets a low hum from you. “Dunno.”

Jason moves his hand from your back up to your shoulder, his fingers lightly tracing over your shoulder. His heart weighs heavy in his chest, knowing a large part of your lack of sleep is because of him. Maybe staying in bed all day isn’t such a bad idea.

“You need to sleep.” Jason says, his voice caught somewhere between stern and worried.

His tone gets you to finally peek your eyes open and look up at him. Jason moves his head from yours as you tilt your up just enough to get a look at him. His brows are tugged together, his forehead creasing with lines of worry. So many days and nights were spent like this but it was always you wearing the look of worry for him, not the other way around. This is normally when he’d give you a half-cocked grin and he’d kiss you, offering a false sense of reassurance when he would not be sleeping any better that same night. You don’t have the same option though so you dodge his eyes and tilt your head back down.

“I know.” You say quietly. “So do you.”

Jason lets out a breath, resting his head back on yours. “I know.”

The room falls silent with Jason’s words. There’s something stiff and hollowed in the air surrounding you. Every unsaid word lingers like smog but neither of you can bring youselves to do anything about it. Instead, Jason’s fingers trace along your shoulder and your thumb runs along his side. You both let the weight of the silence swallow you whole, running through all of the guilt and shame that’s led you both here.

It’s comforting, being here like this like it should be. But, so much has happened that both of you think you’ve set yourselves up for failure. With each other. You broke his trust and Jason is already one of the least trusting people you've ever met. Even if he finds it in himself to forgive you, you aren’t so sure you can forgive yourself for it. And Jason’s thinking of everything he could have done differently and how he’d love to lay like this forever with you, as if nothing happened but he can’t. He could have killed you and he left you. You begged him to stay and he left. He betrayed you and he swears you should never forgive him for any of it, but if you do, he doesn’t think he’ll ever forgive himself for it. For any of this. So, the two of you sit in silence.

You listen to the beating of Jason’s heartbeat and you almost expected it to not be there or for it to be different somehow. But, it’s the same as it always was and it was always comforting. A reminder that you are alive and so is he. After everything, you were the ones that made it out alive and he is here, with you, strong and unmoving, safe. It’s still comforting in that same way, but this time, you appreciate it a little bit more because he did not make it alive. So, you count his heartbeats.

“You awake?” Jason asks.

“Mhm.” You hum.

“Do you think you could talk to Dick?” Jason asks, his voice just above a whisper. “I’m done with Crane’s shit and I don’t feel too bad today. I just wanna go home with you…and everyone else.”

You look up at him quickly, brows raised in surprise. “Really? Like…you mean it?”

Jason nods. “Yeah, think he’ll go for it, though?”

You offer him a warm smile as you sit all the way up. You turn to face him sitting with your legs crossed, your left knee lightly resting on his thigh. “Yeah, I think so. I’ll talk to him.”

“Can you see if he’ll meet me somewhere, just him and me?” Jason asks, earning a look of suspicion from you. “Not gonna fucking kill him, alright? Just to talk, swear.”

You nod your head, running a hand through his white streak of hair. “Yeah, I can. I’m sure he’ll do it as long as he’s like fine. He did get hit by a car...” You furrow your brows, slowly remembering that did in fact happen last night.

“Yeah, what a dumbass.” Jason lets out a scoff.

“Uh-huh, right, do you need a list of dumb things you’ve done since I met you because…” You tease him with the scrunch of your nose.

“I don’t do dumb shit!” Jason defends with a laugh. "I've never been hit by a fucking car."

“You said you rode a motorcycle in the manor? That was dumb.”

“That doesn’t fucking count. You said since you met me.” Jason holds his head up with confidence.

“Smartass.” You huff. “You made a bet with a complete stranger who could have killed you for all you know. And then lost. Your side of the bet was to let it slide this one time. That was also dumb. Two in one shot.” You gesture a hand at him lazily with the light shake of your head.

“Hey!” Jason scoffs. “First of all, babe, you couldn’t kill me now if you tried.” Jason offers his toothy smirk right back at you. “I was just trying to get laid, earn brownie points, ya know?” Jason fires right back, almost trying to get under your skin just as he's done a thousand times but he watches as a genuine happy smile starts to crack across your face.

You burst out laughing. You can't tell if he's serious but you have to think he definitely is. “Thinking with your dick, I see.” You mock him. “So, that’s three in one shot.”

Jason's cheeks start to tint a pretty shade of red as he sits up, pointing a finger right at you. “Okay, no you know what, let’s look at your track record, huh?”

“Oh, no, that is perfectly fine. We do not have to.” You shake your head looking down and then back at him, knowing he's not gonna let this go.

“You put the stick of butter in the water of your mac and cheese.” Jason blinks at you, the corner of his mouth turned up into something cheeky and arrogant.

“That was one fucking time and I was tired!" You defend.

“I’ve never done that.” Jason mutters, mocking you.

"You were harassing me!" You scoff in disbelief.

Jason tilts his head back with a laugh. "Not me. I didn't do shit. That was your own mistake. Don't blame me." Jason gestures a hand towards himself, his smile wide and toothy.

"You were throwing shit at me to see if I could dodge them quick enough and you'd fucking yell ten points whenever you hit me!" You can't help but laugh as you remember the day in the kitchen. It became a regular thing and Jason always claimed it was extra training but you're pretty sure he just liked to fuck with you anyway. And in any way he possibly could. You thought it was fun though because he'd get all pissy and annoyed if you dodged whatever he was throwing more than five times.

"Keeping you on your toes, babe." Jason nods his head with confidence, the grin so wide it might as well light up the entire room.

You blink at him a few times, shaking your head once. “Okay, uh you tried to show off by showing me something Bruce taught you while we were walking down the stairs which made you fall down the stairs.” You point out, nodding your head quickly as you match the grin on Jason's face.

Jason chuckles softly, his cheeks burning red. He doesn’t think he’s ever been so embarrassed. “Looked cool though, didn’t it?”

“No.” You chortle. “You looked like a fish out of water.”

“Fuck you!” Jason huffs, a beaming smile on his lips. “You broke your phone because Bruce walked in during Sinister and scared shit out of you so you threw your phone instead of a knife.”

You nod your head. “How the fuck did I even do that?” You shake your head through a loud laugh. “We can go back to talking about Dick being dumb.” You offer him a smirk before it falls short. “Actually, I should probably make sure he didn’t…like die or something.” You offer Jason a yikes expression as you reach for your phone on the opposite side of the bed. You unlock your phone to see a few texts from Gar. “Oh, fun!” You say sarcastically.

“What?” Jason raises a brow at you.

“Tim, yeah, he knows you’re Robin, Dick was Robin and is now Nightwing, Bruce is Batman, and I’m Bluejay.” You nod your head, blinking at Jason. “And he confronted Dick last night before he got hit by a car. Showed up at the manor.”

Jaso lets out a choked chuckle. “Wish I could have seen the look on his face.” The chuckle comes to a stop as he realizes what Sam has just said. "Wait. How the fuck does he even know that?"

“Same! I can’t believe we missed it.” You roll your eyes. “It's a long story, I didn't tell him though." You shrug your shoulders. "It's Dick's fault but you're not exactly helping at the moment though cause like...he knows you died and now...you're not dead. So...batboys." You roll your eyes, giving Jason a teasing grin before looking back to your phone. Jason's eyes narrow, but he is realizing that yeah, people who know you would know he died and now he's alive and walking around. He sees how that would be weird and a little difficult to explain. "Gar said Dick is fine though.” You nod your head before you type away at a text back.

“Good.” Jason sucks in a breath, stretching for the first time. "What did you tell Tim about me being alive?"

"Oh, uh, well...uh, you see..." You chuckle awkwardly. "That you died and now you're alive."

Jason stares at you for a few seconds. "Right, and he said?"

"I don't remember...but, he was confused and wanted more answers. But he thought I was lying about it so I like...did not have a choice but to tell him. He literally saw you so...he knows you're alive." You give him an open mouth, sarcastic grin as you offer him jazz hands.

Jason can't help but laugh softly. "Awesome, I guess." Jason sucks in a breath.

"He won't tell anyone. If anyone else asks any questions, could just say it was like...a hit or something to hurt Bruce and so Bruce sent you into hiding and didn't tell me to keep me out of it." You explain, putting your phone into your hoodie pocket. "Thought of that lie like ten minutes after I told Tim."

"That's better than telling everyone I was Robin." Jason lets out a scoff, rolling his shoulders.

You watch the uneasiness wash over his face. Robin might be a rough subject right about now and you can't say you blame him. You know you have some resentment towards the mantle now. You wonder if he does or if it's a Bruce thing or a Joker thing or a he died thing. Maybe it's everything but his face falls and the smile vanishes from his lips while his shoulders sulk. So, you change subject.

“What’re you gonna do while I talk to Dick?” You question softly.

“Wait, I guess.” Jason chuckles softly. “I don’t know.”

“You could clean.” You offer a teasing smile as you look around the room. “Kind of messy.”

“I’ve been a little busy in case you forgot.” Jason quips right back.

“I know but now you’re not.” You shrug. “Are you sure you feel okay?”

“Yeah.” Jason nods confidently. “Surprisingly, feel alright. I guess Crane’s drug has a short withdrawal process.” He still has a little bit of a headache and his skin still feels like it could peal off his bones, but it's not nearly as bad as it was yesterday.

“Good.” You smile softly before sucking in a breath. The quicker you talk to Dick, the quicker you can get Jason actually home which also means there's less of a chance of him, somehow, falling back into Crane's hands. As much as you would love to keep talking with him and joking with him, you also don't want him to change his mind on coming home. “Well, I’m gonna head out and see about talking to Dick. Need to get a feel for his mood and see if I…well, if Gar can do anything to brighten him up.”

“Because you will only piss him off further.” Jason quips as the smile comes back to his face, not as bright as before but at least it's there.

“It is one of my favorite pastimes and I just can’t help it. Neither can you.” You laugh softly before you move to the end of the bed and get to your feet. “Uh, if you need anything though, just…let me know and I’ll come back.”

“Thank you again…for everything.” Jason gives you a sad nod.

“Of course, Jay.” You smile back. “Okay, I’ll text you?” You question. “And see you later then.” You nod your head a few times before turning on your heels and leaving Jason alone in the room.

On the way back to the manor, you think about maybe not talking to Jason about everything. It's probably a bad idea and not very healthy either. But, last night and this morning felt good and normal and safe and if you talk, that goes away. It has to, even if it's just for a little while. Nothing has felt normal or safe or good in two weeks. In the grand scheme of time, that's not very long but you swear it feels like it's been an entire year. You don't want to have to talk about how he died and you found him. You don't want to have to talk about everything you've said to each other in the last week or how much you've hurt each other. You don't want to talk about any of it because maybe if you don't, you can live in a bubble where it doesn't have to hurt so damn much all the time.

But, maybe living in your own little bubble, avoiding the idea of the very worst whenever it would come up, is how you both ended up in agonizing pain in the first place.

When you get back to the manor, you're met by Gar as you walk into the living room. Conner and Blackfire are cuddled on the couch, talking quietly between each other. You eye them for a second, confused when that happened and you gesture a finger towards them, glancing to Gar. They're cute together but you did not see that coming. Gar just shakes his head, offering a soft smile.

“Okay.” You suck in a breath, shaking your head. “Dick around?”

“Batcave.” Gar lets out a breath. Gar eyes you softly, noticing you look a little more rested than you have since he's been in Gotham. A part of him was really worried you going with Jason would be bad because of how messed up everything has been. But, you look like you actually got some sleep for once and you don't look like you're ready to kill someone at any minor inconvenience. “How’s Jason?”

“He in like…a good mood? Dick, I mean.” You question carefully. “Yeah, uh, he’s okay. He said…he’s okay anyway which in Jason terms also means he’s probably on the verge of an aneurysm at any given moment but he feels okay enough.” You nod your head quickly but you don't look too relieved. For someone who has only wanted Jason to be okay, Gar finds that a bit off.

“I mean, he got hit by a car so he’s not happy.” Gar says softly. “Did something else happen?”

“Yeah…” You clear your throat. “And uh…no. No…nothing happened.” You look to the ground for a few seconds, your heart heavy before you look back to Gar. “Walk with me?”

“Sure.” Gar smiles softly before the two of you make your way to the Batcave. “What’s up?”

You chew the inside of your cheek and you know Gar is going to tell you to suck it up and have the damn conversation. You could practically give yourself the damn speech yourself but you're thinking of asking anyway. Maybe hearing it from Gar, will convince you to just talk to him, properly. It'll be kind of like the decision is off of your shoulders for once because it's Gar's advice. Whatever would happen because of that conversation wouldn't be Gar's fault, but it would be nice to not make the entire decision.

“You like to talk like that’s your thing. How to work through your shit, you tell everyone to talk about their shit, which I realize you like…never do? So, you should also be doing that. But, uh, that’s always your advice…so you think we really have to talk?” Sam scrunches her nose, glancing at Gar.

“Uh…” Gar stutters, trying to piece together your run-on sentence. “You and me…? Or is this actually about you and Jason?”

“Jason.” You suck in a breath. “Unless…you wanna talk about you and me I mean, we can?”

“No, it’s fine.” Gar chuckles softly, brushing it off. Of course, he thinks you should talk. A lot of the pain you caused each other could have been solved through Jason being sober and you having a conversation instead of fighting. Not talking seems like it'll only cause the both of you more pain and more problems. You were both always better when you talked to each other, really talked. “I mean, you guys fought each other and then he almost got you killed…twice.” Gar cringes softly. “Do you really think not talking about that is a good idea?”

“No.” You huff bitterly. “But I was hoping you’d say it’d all be okay and we don’t have to.” You let out a deep sigh, one that sounds of defeat and fear.

“What happened?”

“Felt normal this morning…last night.” You shrug your shoulders. “But, the second we start talking about everything that happened since he died…it’s like…everything that’s happened becomes permanent and real. I don’t want either of those things. I just want to go back to how it was.”

“It is real and permanent regardless on if you talk about it.” Gar shrugs his shoulders. “He died. He came back and became Red Hood. That happened. You not talking about it doesn’t make it unreal. But, you could talk about it and still go back to how it was.”

“How?” You suck in a breath. “He read to me last night and it was just…so nice and it didn’t feel so heavy. And this morning, we woke up together and it was like I could breathe again. I don’t want that to go away. But, I don’t know where he’s gonna stand after all of this and I…I don’t think I want to know.”

They always say ignorance is bliss and you didn't always agree with that because why would someone want to stay willfully ignorant? Why would someone not want to know the answer to something? The answer might save them pain and heartbreak and time. But, now you're here and suddenly, you get it because not knowing is almost better. If you don't know, you can pretend it's all fine and then it doesn't hurt. It's okay with you if it's a waste of your own time and effort and energy. It's okay if it hurts later as long as it doesn't hurt now.

“You didn’t want to know how he really felt before and if you two would have just talked, you’d have been together sooner.” Gar states simply.

“Yeah, I know.” You scoff and you know he's right. Talking about everything bad that happened to both of you, outside of each other, was always easy and it always felt safe. Maybe it's because the other person was at a distance from the damage of it. You know you never really talked about the kidnapping aspect of being held captive by Deathstroke. It always felt too heavy because you were so scared of losing him and you think, maybe it was the same for him. This is a little different but he did die and that's real. And it's scary and painful. “I am just…so mad at myself for what I said to him. While I was high…while I wasn’t.” You shake your head. “We’d have to talk about that and he’s gonna look at me…in that way and I just…I don’t want him to look at me like that again.”

“Didn’t he tell you that you were a mistake?” Gar asks bluntly. “It sucks what you said but you’re the one who showed up anyway and I’m sure he feels like shit over what he said to you, too. You two avoiding it isn’t going to do either of you any good.”

“What if that ends up being the end though? Like what if we both can’t forgive ourselves for it and then…that’s just it?” Your voice grows quiet and maybe you're really just worried, at the end of the conversation, it'll be over for good. You broke up with him and that's on you, but you kind of thought maybe you'd fix things. Now though, you'd worried, that somehow talking about it will lead you to a path where it can't be fixed.

“Do you want to be in a relationship with someone when you can’t talk about the things that hurt you?” Gar asks. “Look, you two are my best friends and I like you guys together but…” Gar pauses, his steps coming to a stop as you stop to face him. “If you guys can’t forgive yourselves but you forgive each other, maybe you do need space. That’s not gonna be fair to either one of you. It doesn’t have to be end though.”

“I’m terrified it will be. I mean…” You offer a sad smile. “I don’t know.”

“Did he say something?”

“He wants to come home. Told me to sleep.” You tug the sleeves of your hoodie over your hands.

“He wants to come home?” Gar asks with a genuine smile this time. “You do need to sleep.” Gar agrees.

“Yeah, that’s why I’m talking to Dick. I know.” You suck in a breath before you turn around, Gar keeping up with you.

“For what it’s worth, I think you guys will figure it out. You were good together.” Gar offers a soft smile.

“Thanks, Gar.” You offer a thankful smile back, hoping maybe it's just your general pessimism that's getting to you. Maybe it's just because it felt so good to be with him and now you're just over thinking the whole thing. You've been known to do that a time or two. Gar isn't usually wrong, anyway.

The two of you finish your walk into the Batcave, finding Kory and Dick at the Batcomputer. You're glad to see Dick is even on his feet, maybe it was just a concussion.

“You’re back.” Kory says with delight. “Everything okay?”

You nod quickly. “Yeah, yeah.” You look to Dick. “Um…I just, came to talk to Dick for a second. It’s all fine.” You nod your head.

Kory and Gar look between each other and then to Dick before they excuse themselves. Dick is already preparing himself for whatever bullshit you're about to throw his way.

"What?" Dick asks, earning an eyebrow raise from you. "Whenever you want to talk it's never good. You also left me in the middle of the street last night." Dick crosses his arms, clearly displeased.

"Um...I called the ambulance and texted Kory and Gar. You were fine." You snars back. "You ran off and went to bed after literally being shot by a sniper. I'm sorry I assumed you'd be fine when you were hit by a car doing like fifteen miles an hour while you had on a helmet and your bike took the brunt of the force." You quip blinking at him quickly. In your defense, if someone is going to go to bed after being shot, you have every right to believe they would be fine in most other circumstances. But, you called an ambulance and he's fine. "So...about Jason."

Dick nearly groans at the mention. "What about him?"

"He wants to come home."

Dick shakes his head in disbelief. "What?"

"That's what he said. He asked me if I could talk to you about it and see if you'd meet up with him. He swore it's not to fight or kill you or anything. He just wants to talk. He's clean and he feels better today." You explain, tugging your sleeves over your hands.

Dick lets out a breath, putting his hand on his hip. He's still weighed down by the guilt of the fallout in San Francisco. He knows he can't say no. "Do you think he means it? Not because you care about him or because you're on his side. I need to know."

"Yes." You answer. "I can always tell when he's lying and he'd never drag me into that, not like this. Not when he's clean. He'd never want your blood to end up on my hands because he had me set it up. And I don't want you dead. Jason could have killed you last night and he didn't. I really think he's done and he just wants to come home." You let out a breath, seeing the torn look on Dick's face.

It's more than Jason being his brother and some sort of weird obligation to Bruce because it's Dick's turn to redeem himself from Deathstroke and to make a better effort. But, he also has the rest of the Titans to think about and Jason did kill one of them. Him being manipulated and drugged, doesn't make that any better or any more justifiable.

"You promised." You say quietly, still holding onto your belief that promises should mean something, even if you broke the biggest one you could.

"He killed Hank."

"Yeah," You nod sadly. "And I swear, that wasn't him. I know it's really hard to understand, but it wasn't. It doesn't make it right, but...I don't think we should give up." You feel like you're almost holding your breath because you never thought Dick would ever really say no. You never really imagined Dick throwing in the towel but you're wondering if he's at that point.

It did not feel good when everyone gave up on him, everyone besides you and Gar. Dick thinks he deserved it, absolutely. He lied and got a kid killed. It was his idea to use Jericho as bait and it got him killed. He deserved it but it hurt anyway. And Dick was in his right mind when all of that happened. Dick dropped Jason from a skyscraper and the only reason he even walked out is because Dick lied. Jason wasn't even going to give up. Who is Dick to give up now when he knows the Jason they've been dealing with has been under the influence of a powerful drug and a master manipulator?

"Okay." Dick nods his head. "I'll have to talk to the Titans."

You let out a breath, nodding quickly. "I know."

"They won't like it."

"Can I be there? Maybe me and Gar can offer a voice of a reason. I took the drug so I know and Gar killed people because of CADMUS so...I mean. Kind of the same thing. And Conner almost killed Gar and Jason and you all almost killed Gar and--"

"I get it, thank you." Dick cuts you off, really not needing or wanting to recap of the horrible things that have happened. "Fine. I'll meet with Jason and see how it goes." Dick nods his head. "I need to talk you about Tim anyway."

"Oh, Gar told me." You laugh softly. "Told you so."

"Yeah, it's not funny." Dick scolds. "Is he ever going to stop?"

"Nope." You shake your head. "He's pretty pissed about his dad, like rightfully so. But, he also knows he's right." You let out a scoff but a smile sticks to your face. Is it bad Tim knows? Yeah, but you still find it amusing and impressive. If it were up to you, you'd just tell Tim anyway. "Why'd he even confront you anyway?"

"He wants to be Robin." Dick blinks at you, fully unassumed. "Any idea where he got that idea?" Dick shifts his weight to his left leg, giving you an accusatory look.

"Tim is proactive?" You question with the shrug of your shoulder. "He's fucking nuts though. I didn't tell him shit, alright? If he ever told me he wanted to be Robin, I would have gone to hell and back to talk him out of it."

You don't think anyone should end up like Jason or Dick. Maybe it was never Jasn that was cursed or Dick that was the monster, maybe it was always Robin. Maybe that mantle is just...too much. It changes people, makes them desperate and turns them into versions of themselves they can't even live with. It's too much pressure. You don't really think anyone should take the mantle again.

"Great." Dick lets out a sigh. "Okay, while I'm trying to talk to Jason and make sure he's serious about this, I need you to trail Tim. Keep him out of it."

"Why?" You scoff. "I mean, I've been fighting the whole damn time to get Jason back and now that he's ready, you want me to take a backseat?"

"You're friends with Tim. Do you really want Tim anywhere near this? His dad was just shot because you involved him and he showed up here."

"Ouch." You roll your eyes. "How do you even know he's going to be trying to follow you guys anyway? What if he doesn't? Then, I'm just wasting my time while you and the Titans are planning fuck knows what."

"He had pictures of us." Dick states. "This is personal for him now. I need you to trust me with Jason."

"Yeah, that's a pretty heavy ask there, Dickolas given everything that's happened here." You huff. "Making me pick between Tim and Jason." You roll your eyes. Jason just wants to talk to Dick anyway and maybe it's better if they do it one-on-one. You mostly just wanted to be there in case something hits the fan. It is Dick and Jason so the odds of that happening are a lot higher than your personal comfort. But, maybe it'll be better that way. Jason has always been able to hold his own anyway and you do have to trust Dick if he has to trust you. "Fine. Fine, I'll go stalk Tim." You state sarcastically. "Don't fuck it with Jason then."

"It won't be me that messes things up."

"Right, okay." You say sarcastically. "I'm gonna let him know you'll meet and I'll tell you where and when. Then, I'll go find Tim, I fucking guess." You toss your hands up dramatically before you leave Dick on his own.

While Dick meets in the tunnels with Jason, you do as asked, meeting up with Tim. You find there's a sort of irony in the whole situation since you just told Tim a few days ago it was weird that he was basically stalking the Titans and now Dick is literally having you stalk him. It's ridiculous but Dick has a point and you know it. So, you hang around with him for a few hours until Dick calls for a meeting with all of the Titans, you included. He wants to discuss what happened with Jason and the very idea of having to sit with everyone makes you want to chew your own arm off.

"What?" Kory yells after Dick finishes explaining that Jason is clean now and he just wants to come home, to be with his friends again. He swears it was all the drug and Crane, but his mind is clear now. "He kidnapped kids. He made that woman snap her own neck."

You look to Kory and your heart falls. Not again and you don't want to argue with Kory. But this is the only thing you've wanted since he died. Dick is the leader and at the end of the day, it's up to him. Everyone else can protest but if Dick says he can come, he can home. However, you chew your cheek and pull your sleeves over his hands because Jason wants to come home to a place that feels warm and safe and like home, but it won't feel like that if the only people who want him around are you and Gar.

He said he wasn't brought back because he was wanted.

"So, we're just gonna set an extra place at the dinner table?" Connor questions. "Oh, hey, Jay, pass the mashed potatoes."

"Hey!" You yell as you snap your attention to Conner. "Watch it." You threaten, teeth gritting together with narrowed eyes. You will argue with Conner.

"He's offering to turn himself in and bring in Crane." Dick defends his stance.

"This is bullshit." Kory says. "You're forgiving a murderer."

You tug your sleeves down some more because you thought Kory was the understanding one of Dick and Kory. But, apparently not. Gar said Blackfire killed their parents. But, Jason is manipulated and drugged into killing people and that's wrong? You're killing people and no one has brought that up in a few days. It's just an issue when it's Jason. What else is new?

"We need Crane." Dick says calmly.

"I kill people." You defend. "None of you are too mad about that anymore. I killed some of CADMUS, some people here. And I wasn't even high or being manipulated. Twice was in self-defence but the other times, I don't feel too bad about." You argue.

"What if all the killing was Scarecrow?" Gar interjects as he looks around the room and you're relieved Gar is taking a stand with you. You're tired of fighting alone.

"No, he needs to be held accountable." Dick shackles his head.

"You didn't hold me accountable when CADMUS took me over, made me a killer." Gar protests. "You guys all took me back, no questions asked because we're family." Gar stands up, looking around the room. "Jason deserves the same chance." Gar says softly while you give him a smile. "Y/n said it was the drug and I believe her and I believe Jason." Gar shrugs his shoulders casually and normally he would think Kory would be right but not this time.

This is Jason. The same person he calls his best friend, the same person who had a room right down the hall from him for months. The same person he talks to nearly every day. Gar died once and he came back all the same with all of his broken pieces perfectly fitted back together and held together by the love and care of the Titans. He has to believe that if a demon can bring him back to life and he's still fine, then Jason can be brought back via Lazurus pit and still be himself. The Jason before wasn't a cold-blooded killer. He should be given the same chance that Gar and you and Blackfire and Conner are given.

You stand up this time, standing right beside Gar. "I killed some of CADMUS without being influenced by anything and none of you ever questioned that. Dick yelled at me for killing those guys here but that was it. Kory, you've killed people. You and Dick almost killed Gar because of Trigon. I'm telling you guys, you don't know what that drug does but I do and I'm telling you, that shit was not Jason. It was all the drug and Crane." You keep your voice level, hoping this won't escalate into an argument since even Gar is speaking up on Jason's behalf.

"Alright, we bring them both in and after that, we assess the situation." Dick says as he crosses his arms, trying his best to do what's best for everyone and keep everyone happy.

You and Gar look at each other, clearly not happy with the response. You both know the only reason this discussion is being had is because it's Jason. If it were anyone else, they would have been welcomed back and there would be understanding of the situation but not this time. It's starting to drive you both insane.

"I've never met the guy but I'm bullish on second chances." Blackfire says from the back as she leans forward in her seat. Gar and you gain large smiles, holding your head high as you look to Dick.

"We'll see how it goes." Dick remains firm but there's something about the way he uncrosses his arms and shifts his weight to his right that you and Gar gain a little hope. "Batcave, five minutes." Dick before as the room dispurses. "Y/n." Dick calls before you can walk off with Gar.

You roll your eyes at Gar before he leaves, too. You realize it really is never good when the two of you have some sort of private conversation and you're not in the mood for it today.

"Yes?" You question sarcastically.

"How did it go with Tim?"

"Oh, he is not giving up for shit." You state as you nod your head.

"Did you tell him anything?" Dick asks. "He found me before I was going into the tunnels."

"You should really be more secretive." You squint your eyes at him. "No, I didn't tell him. Do you think I'm just gonna start spilling because he's right?" You scoff as you laugh. "I told him he was wrong and to drop it and then he did not do that."

"Okay, well, keep an eye on him tonight while we meet Jason." Dick states.

You pause, shaking your head in disbelief as if to be processing what he just said. He can't be serious. "What?" You ask bluntly. "No, I'm going with tonight."

"No, you're not. You're going to stay with Tim, make sure he's not following us."

Tim definitely was following and waiting for Dick today before you found him. Tim also made it very clear he was not going to be giving up on this whole Robin thing any time soon. Dick might have a point that Tim could follow them but the way you see it is that it shouldn't be your job to babysit him. The Titans could just be more careful and not be seen. This involves Jason so you should get to go with and Gar could go hang out with Tim. It might be weird but Tim is stalking them so it's not the weirdest thing in the world at the moment.

"No, I'm going. This is about Jason. The fuck can't I go with for now?"

"We want to also bring in Crane and Jason is giving him up but we still don't know what Crane has been planning. You want him dead. If it comes to it and we need to bring Jason in, I know you won't let us." Dick states, crossing his arms again. "Tim is your friend."

"First of all, I can withhold my killing urges for now, thank you. And second, yes. Because none of us had to be brought in for the shit we've done, like we just said. But, you shouldn't need to bring him since he's not looking for a fight this time." You almost whine through this whole thing. It's just so damn frustrating.

"That's why you're going to be looking after Tim. This is Titans business." Dick's voice is stern and unmoving. "You said you're done with being a Titan."

"That's shit and you know it." You scoff, knowing you're going to go anyway and there's nothing Dick can say or do to stop you, so you cave. "Fine, but he better be here when I get back tonight." You glare up at Dick before you walk past him to find Gar.

You take off fifteen minutes before the Titans with Dick thinking you were going to go look after Tim. If you were being honest, you're not entirely sure why Dick actually thinks you're going to listen. This involves you and it involves your favorite person on the planet. Of course, you'll go toe-to-toe with the Titans if you need to, that's just how it is. But, you also know Jason is being honest with wanting to come home so the only way this would go south is if the Titans started shit. Since Dick didn't want you there, it sends a red flag that maybe something is going to happen and you won't be there. So, you leave before them, giving Jason the heads up you'd meet him there.

But, when you get to the pump station, you don't immediately find Jason. That would have been too simple. Instead, you find Tim and you have never been so glad to not be wearing your suit. That would have been a lot harder to explain.

"Tim?" You call as Tim is walking a few feet ahead of you, getting closer to the building.

Tim turns around, seeing you jog up towards him. "What're you doing here?" He asks.

"What are you doing here?" You ask back, stuffing your hands into the pouch of your hoodie. Tim raises an eyebrow at you, almost as if saying he's not going to say if you won't. "Exploring. Your turn."

"Following Jason." Tim shrugs casually before he continues to walk towards the building, you right beside him.

On the one hand, Dick was wrong about Tim following a Titan. On the other hand, he did follow someone and now he's here anyway and had you just followed Tim, this whole thing would have been avoided. You really hate when Dick is right, even if it's by accident.

"You really need to stop this stalking shit, it's weird as shit, dude." You quip back. "Why are you following Jason?" Your voice is exasperated. Why can't anything just go as planned?

"I wanna meet Robin and find out what led Robin to getting my dad shot. I wanna be the next Robin so I need to talk to him." Tim says confidently. "It was his mantle."

You stop for just a few seconds, your brows pulling together. Oh, he's like really serious about being Robin? He's completely insane. Which, would actually fit the whole Robin thing. It seems a little bit of insanity is needed but this is nuts. Why would anyone actually want to be the third Robin? Because the first two really worked out so fucking well?

"I...am lost." You say softly, catching up with Tim. "Why the fuck would you want to be the next Robin?" You nearly scoff and you hadn't realized it, but the name almost burns your tongue now.

"Gotham needs a Robin. Jason isn't gonna be Robin, clearly. Dick is a Titan and Nightwing now. You have Bluejay. We need a Robin and I can do it." Tim tugs the strap of his backpack over his shoulder.

"I wish I had your confidence." You mutter. "So, Robin gets brutally murdered and your response is to become Robin? Don't you think that shit is fucked? Like...you want shit to happen to you?" You ask and you're thinking you'll have to make talking Tim out of this your next mission.

"It's not about me." Tim shrugs. "It's about Gotham, the greater good of Gotham. Someone has to step up and it can be me. I'll take the risk to help other people."

It would be a lie if you didn't find it admirable. You still hate Bruce but yeah, the whole Batman and Robin thing, it's admirable. Risking their lives for other people is admirable. But, it's also fucking stupid. You're aware you're doing that now, too but to some extent you think you have a death wish anyway. Maybe all vigilantes have some sort of death wish for one reason or another.

\It wasn't entirely your choice though. You just have powers and the training fell into your lap. If you have those abilities, wouldn't it be wrong not to use them to help people? But, Tim isn't a meta human. He's just some kid who works at his parents' restaurant. He's not Dick or Jason or Hank or Dawn. In the best way, he isn't them. He shouldn't put himself in the mix of this.

"That's...admirable and incredibly fucking stupid." You scoff bluntly. "Dude, fuck that vigilante shit. You're not obligated to it."

"Like you?" Tim quips back.

"Still not who you think I am, I just got tired of repeating myself and you wanting to be Robin seemed like a more interesting conversation." You let out a breath. "You don't want to be Robin." You say quietly.

"Someone has to do it. I can." Tim huffs.

You shake your head, rolling your eyes. "Signing your own death certificate." You let out a bitter scoff as the two of you round the corner of the building.

But, then your heart sinks as the two of you come to a stop seeing Crane exit the building on the landing a few steps above you. A gun rests on the landing right at Crane's feet as he gains this subtle but eerie smile. You watch him carefully, knowing Crane can't be too happy with you right about now. He had Jason tied up, Jason only came by for the drug and Crane isn't an idiot. You think maybe he knows you turned Jason.

Crane takes a few steps towards the stairs, standing closer to the gun. You know you can't beat him to it but you also know if you throw a knife, Dick is going to kill you. There has to be a reason he picked this pump station and they don't know what that reason is yet. There is also Tim to think about. Crane is insane and any wrong move makes Tim a target, too if he isn't already. But, you have to do something.

You slowly move to stand right in front of Tim, using your arm to lightly nudge him backward.

Crane lets out this sigh that almost sounds like one of disappointment. "It didn't have to end this way." Crane offers you an unsettling false-sorrowed filled frown as his fingers dance over the gun.

And that's when the throbbing right in the front of your head starts.

You spin around, hands coming to Tim's shoulder as panic washes over your eyes. "Run! Go now!" You shove Tim, grabbing a knife from your belt just as you're turning around.

But, as soon as you're fully facing Crane and the knife is leaving your fingers, the gun fires. The shot rings across the lot and the bullet connects to your right shoulder. The impact of the bullet and the shock of being hit sends you to the ground, screaming out in pain just as another gunshot echoes over the lot.

Searing pain radiating down your arm and through your chest. The wind feels like it's been knocked from your lungs as you desperately try to gasp for breath. The back of your head is throbbing from the smack to the pavement and the front is throbbing again. Your eyes slam shut as you don't hear Tim's footsteps running anymore and silence confuses the air like thick fog. The second shot was at Tim and Crane got him.

Crane looks down at you, a sinister and belittling smile on his face, proud of what he's just done. You try to roll slightly onto your side, the gunshot causing a sheering pain to radiate down to your fingertips. Crane lifts his arm, aiming the gun right at your head and ready to pull the trigger. You pause, looking at it and you grit your teeth with the pounding of your head right where the gun is aimed. You spot blood and a cut on Crane's face, you needed to throw a little more to the left.

This whole thing would have been solved had you thrown just a little bit to the left or been quicker. You're pretty sure you only missed because you were fucking shot. And now Crane might actually kill you and you hope Jason knows where the Lazurus Pit is and will bring you back so you can kill Crane with your bare hands. But, then, the throbbing stops and Crane drops his arm as he looks over his shoulder, seeing someone in the distance.

He doesn't say a word before he runs back into the building, leaving you to deal with the aftermath of blood and gunshots.

You roll over, getting to your knees as you're finally able to suck in a full breath. Your eyes land on Tim, lying on the ground just a few feet ahead of you and you focus all of your energy and attention to getting to him. You were shot in the shoulder. Those gunshots are usually deadly and you swear it'll be fine. You signed up for this and Tim isn't Robin. As much as he likes to think he's ready and able, he did not sign up for this. You have to make sure he's okay. You have no choice. He has to be fine.

So, you crawl over to him as Tim rolls over, slightly facing you. That's when you see blood covering his abdomen. Your eyes widen and you shake your head, grinding your teeth so hard you think they might shatter through your gums. Your hands go to the wound, pressing hard as Tim lets out a scream in agony.

"Sorry." You mutter, your hands almost burning as blood coats through your fingers.

This is horrible. Horrible. Horrible. Your breathing grows rapid and you can't think straight. You can't focus on anything. All you know is to put pressure on a bleeding wound but this is the abdomen and surely the bullet hit something important. There's blood coming from his mouth and he looks like he might pass out. Tim's breathing is ragged and staggered. This isn't good and he's just human and he's not Robin. Why was he shot anyway? He had nothing to do with anything and Crane shot him anyway. Why is he such a monster? Why would Tim even want to go through this? It's not fair and you just watch the blood come through your fingers and the lump in your throat grows so much you think you're going to choke. Your eyes brim with burning hot tears and it's all too real and familiar.

A scream of your name comes from your side and warm and calloused hands come to your face, grabbing your attention. "What the fuck happened?" Jason asks in a panic, his hands holding your face firmly.

He's been trying to get you to answer him but nothing. It's as if you were in a trance and he's been here before with you. Something triggers you to shut down and that's all that happens. It's as if your own memories suck you into a steal cage.

"What?" You croak, eyes scanning over his face. When did he get here?

"What. Happened?" Jason nods before he looks to Tim who's now struggling to breathe.

His eyes come back to you and all he saw was someone who he swore was Crane looming over someone on the ground. It wasn't until you got to your knees that he realized it was you and then he saw Tim. Jason isn't sure he's ever run so fast in his life to get to you. You would never be on the ground if you weren't hurt. And that is one of Jason's biggest fears so his eyes scan over you quickly, hoping you aren't hurt too badly. You've been hurt before.

"Uh...C-crane." You shake your head away from his head, trying to snap yourself back into reality. You look down to Tim and he looks so scared. He looks absolutely and utterly terrified. "You're gonna be fine." You try to level your voice to offer some form of reassurance.

Jason's heart stops entirely in his chest, realizing that if Crane just shot you both, that's on him. Crane never would have targeted you without Jason and you never would have had to drag Tim into this if it weren't for the formula. None of this would have happened if it weren't for Jason. His stomach starts to turn with guilt and agony and regret. His eyes scan over you quicker, desperate that you aren't hurt. You can't be hurt because you're you and you can't be hurt because of him.

You have the combat thing anyway and you're really good at dodging things. But, you're the self-sacrificing type and Tim is already shot. Jason's head starts to spin at the very thought of you in Tim's position. On the ground and bleeding out, terrified of dying. Jason has to keep his eyes on you anyway because he thinks if he watches the look on Tim's face, he might spiral into a fit of panic attacks. He's been there. And that's when he sees the blood.

"Were you fucking shot?!" Jason rushes, trying to look at the wound without moving your hands.

You look to it and then back to him. "Yeah." You nod your head. "I'm fine though." You shake your head, sucking in a breath. "I'm fine." You state, unsure if you're trying to convince Jason or yourself. "We need to do something for Tim, though."

"Fine?!" Jason yells in frustration as he moves to the other side of Tim so he can sit in front of you. He leans down, trying to look at it in the low light but there's a lot of blood and there's fabric from your hoodie in the way. Getting shot isn't fine. "You were fucking shot! That's not fucking fine!"

You can't take it. Being yelled at and trying to make sure Tim doesn't die. Jason's scared and panicked, mad at Crane and you know it but it's making the panic of your own blood worse. It's too much and too loud and too warm and too cold. It's all too much. And you've been here before and it ended in death and bloodstains. It ended in tarnished memories and pain and agony. It ended in tears and screaming and wailing. Everything still fucking hurts and you can't take Jason also yelling at you because you will be fine. You've been fine before. You've been nearly beaten to death and you were fine. You swear this is different. Tim needs the help.

"I can take care of myself! I got it!" You yell right back as the panic starts to take over. It's not him but you can only deal with one heavy thing at a time right now.

Jason is not going to argue this. You're his favorite person and you're everything to him. A mix of panic and frustration coat his stomach, fog his thoughts and words. You can help Tim, but he has to help you.

"Bullshit, that's why I fucking do it." Jason scoffs, keeping his stare on you and that gets you to snap your attention back to him. Jason shakes his head, grabbing your shoulder to put pressure on it for you and you scream out in agony. "Sorry." Jason grits his teeth as your blood starts to coat his hands. "Crane did this?" Jason asks carefully.

You nod your head. "Yeah."

"I'm gonna fucking kill him." Jason grits his teeth and he gets this look that washes over his eyes, one you've never seen before. It is almost a bit scary.

You're his line and Crane crossed it. Jason does not care anymore. He will kill Crane himself at this point. If Crane wants to mess with him, fine. Maybe Jason deserves it anyway, just as he always has. But, you? No one gets to fuck with you and make it out alive anymore. If anyone wants to touch you, they can go through him and he'd never let another person through. He is going to kill him.

"No!" You scold. "I wanna kill him! I didn't get to kill the fucking Joker so I get to get at least one shot in!"

"Fucking seriously?" Jason questions, surprised you're going to argue that now.

"Yes." You nod your head once. You sniffle as your shoulder starts to grow numb.

This is so bad. You know this is bad and you need someone to help. It's only been about two minutes but it all feels like too much time has passed. Someone has to help and that's when you remember why you're even here. The Titans are right behind you and they're gonna show up and be pissed. You swear Dick won't let you or Jason get a word in. You've been shot and you think Dick will think you're just covering for him. That Dick will think it was an accident and you're pinning it on Crane on purpose. You swear they aren't gonna listen and you can't deal with that right now.

"You have to get out of here." You snap your attention to Jason, panic falling over your features again.

You can't be bleeding out, worrying about Tim bleeding out, and worrying about what the Titans are going to do to Jason. He's the one that's here and Crane is probably hiding somewhere. The Titans never believe a word you or Jason have to say anyway and given Jason's track record over the last week, they won't believe him. It'll turn into an argument and a fight, probably. That's the last thing you and Tim need right about now. The easiest solution is to get Jason to leave before they show up. It's for his own good and safety.

"I'm not--"

"Leave! Go! The Titans are right fucking behind me and I wasn't supposed to be here! They're gonna be pissed as it is and they'll blame you!" You rush your words in a heated panic.

Jason's heart sinks and he can't just leave. Not when you're the one that's hurt. You would never leave him if it were him. "I'm not leaving you like this." Jason holds his stance firm.

"I can't fucking handle them screaming at me and then you and then blaming you. Let me talk to Dick. Please, Jason, you have to get out of here!" You beg him through gritted teeth. You know it is a hard ask. You know.

Jason shakes his head. What kind of person is he if he leaves you like this? You found him and you said you still tried to save him. You're alive right now and Jason can help. If you'd just let him. He can't just leave. Jason promised he'd never leave like that again and if he leaves now, what's the difference? He swore he'd always take care of you because you sure as shit don't like to take care of yourself. And you always deserved someone to be there. He can't just...leave.

"But...I--"

"They'll think it was a setup! They will not let you talk and they'll think I'm covering for you! I'll think of something to tell them. Please, Jason, please go." You're voice finally cracks, your chest caving in under the pressure.

Jason's heart breaks and he knows you're right. But, you're hurt and what if something happens and he's not there? Jason swears he already isn't going to be able to live with himself for this but if you die and it's because he left? Then what?

"I can't leave and--"

"Jay! Please, fucking please." You let out a broken and strained cry, trying with everything in you to hold it back. "I love you, please, Jay. It's still you and me and I got you. I will find a way to convince them it wasn't you and it wasn't a setup and I'm not just covering you. Please, Jay." You pull in a weak breath. "I'll be okay." Your bottom lip quivers as tears reflect off the low light of the parking lot.

And he caves.

Jason grits his own teeth, brows pulling together. "Let Gar help you when he gets here." Jason nods his head at you before he presses his forehead against yours for just a second. "Please."

You nod your head. "Okay." You say softly as some small part of relief starts to echo over your bones.

Jason pauses for a few seconds and he already hates himself but he gets to his feet anyway. He does it for you because he knows you're right. They won't listen to him because they never have before. They won't listen to you either because you made it clear you're with him, through everything. You already look like you're on the verge of a mental breakdown and Jason can't make it any worse. But, he swears the only reason he's letting himself run away from this is because he knows Gar will be there. Gar will know you're hurt and he'll find a way to help you because that's what Gar is best at. Helping the people he cares about most. But he feels guilty anyway because you found him.

You found him and now you're leaning over Tim with blood-stained hands all over again. You found him and Jason can't even stick around to make sure you're gonna be okay. It's you and you're resilient. You were nearly beaten to death and were up and walking a few hours later. But, Jason should be there and he knows he should. He just knows he won't be any help if it stresses you out more with him being there. It won't help you if you're fighting the Titans instead of getting help because that's exactly what would happen. It doesn't help you if you're too busy worrying about what will happen with Jason instead of making sure the bullet didn't knick anything. Jason knows, right now, it is probably better he leave. But, he makes a silent promise to himself that any other time after this, he won't leave. He will never put either one of you in a position where you have to leave when you need each other. It's not fair.

You look back to Tim. “You’re gonna be fine.” You can hear the unconvincing waver in your voice.

“Titans.” Tim manages to get out. “Was right.”

“Shut up.” You roll your eyes. “Told you, more to the story.” You manage to get out as your eyes go back to the blood and there is just so much of it. You're tired of having bloody hands.

And then you hear Gar yell your name, the sound surrounded by several pattering footsteps.

You look up at Gar, relief coming across your eyes. You can't do this on your own but The Titans can help.

“What the hell happened?!” Kory asks once her and the other Titans close in on you and Tim.

"Crane, call someone. He's losing a lot of blood and I can't stop the bleeding." You look up at Dick and Dick can’t believe this is really happening. What the hell are you even doing here? And he’s supposed to trust you.

"Why would Crane do this?" Dick asks as Gar picks up his phone for an ambulance.

"Because he's fucking insane?!" You yell and you look down, Tim starting to lose consciousness. “Hey, no no no,” You start to panic. “Tim! Come on, you gotta stay awake!” Your voice cracks and this can’t happen, not again. You look up to Dick, completely desperate. “Please, help me.” Your voice is so small, and suddenly him and Kory are reminded that you and Gar and Jason and Rachel haven't been doing this long.

Not in comparison to everything Kory has faced and Dick's extensive Tim as Robin. They were all just desperate for a place to call a home and a place to fit in. Desperate to find themselves and do what’s right.

Dick kneels down, replacing your hands with his. You pull your hands away, looking at them as the blood reflects off of the city lights around you. Your stomach starts to feel woozy and your elbows grow weak. Your hands are shaking and they burn. They burn like they might break out into hives and your fingers are freezing. Your heart is in your ears and you're thinking it’s hard to breathe again. Your eyes slam shut and Jason’s brutalized face flashes across your eyes then Tim’s dad and Tim. Everyone is flashing and it’s all your fault. And Deathstroke and Jason and his leg and Gar passing out from a tranquilizer and it’s all too much.

“They’re on their way.” Gar states, looking at you and you look like you might pass out.

“What happened?” Kory asks, keeping her voice calm as she just tries to find out what actually happened.

“I-uh, I--I-I-” You glance to Tim who’s not awake anymore and Gar rushes over to you, kneeling beside you with a hand on your shoulder. That's when he gets a look at the blood and the gunshot wound. “I-I-I….” You have your hands out in front of you, blood dripping from your hands.

"Were you shot?!" Gar questions, putting his hands on the wound as you wince.

"Oh...yeah." You nod your head at him, a distant look in her eyes. “It-It wasn’t…it wasn’t Jason.” You shake your head, looking to Dick. “I swear, Dick.” Your words are labored and you're sick of this.

He is so pissed. He's worried, of course, he is. He just found out you were also shot. But, he's also pissed. You were told to watch Tim and not be here. This is one of the things he was worried about. And now he has both of you down. If you would have just listened like you were supposed to, you could have given Jason and Dick the heads-up. You could have stopped Tim but you didn't. Dick thought you learned from last time.

“Why are you even here?” Dicks voice is frustrated as he looks over to you.

You shake your head and he gets a look at your eyes going bloodshot. “I don’t know! Scared for him, I don’t know!” You're voice cracks.”I just…” Your voice quivers. “I just wanted to make sure you kept your word.” You sniffle as your voice grows weak and small.

You look back to Tim and your hands. It’s all coming back to you again in an intense heatwave. Everyone is looking between you and Tim. Tim isn't fucking moving and it's all your fault. You can’t do this. You're back on Amusement Mile and you feel like you're going to be sick. It’s too much. Too heavy. Too loud. Tool cold. Too hot. You're under a microscope that's slowly closing in on you and you cannot sit here and watch him die. You can't. Not again.

“I can’t do this." You shake your head in a panic, getting to your feet.

Gar calls your name, following your lead.

"I-I-I can't. I'm sorry." You brush him off before you take off, leaving Gar and the rest of the Titans.

You run and run until you reach your bike, Gar calling after you the whole time. You can’t do it. It’s all too much. It’s suffocating you from the inside out. Jason on the ground, a puddle of his own blood and brain matter on the ground. It all comes back to you with Tim’s blood soaking your hands. You can’t keep losing people you care about and you can’t keep doing this. So, you run. You do what you have always been best at. Run.

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Tag list: @fairyofshampoo // @italiana-20 // @jasontoddsmentaldisorders // @purplerose291 // @lovelessamai // @makaelaseresin // @lenidaslenchen // @mayfieldss // @ghostkingblake // @im-done-with-this-im-out // @velvetskies // @lilylovelyxo // @cryinghotmess // @yesimwriting // @vivian-555 // @stainedstardom // @baebeepeach // @legend-o-zelda // @harleycao // @somehow-lovable-trash // @xx-all-purpose-nerd-xx // @deyja-the-duck // @jasontoddslover // @captainmarvels-blog // @totallynotkaibiased // @scarlovesyou // @whydoyoucare866 // @littlemeowmeow1000 // @ginger24880 // @septixtrash // @kplatzman // @urmomsgayforme5 // @killxz

#jason todd x reader #jason todd x you #red hood x reader #red hood x you #jason todd fanfic #jason todd fanfiction #titans fanfic #titans fanfiction #dc fanfic #dc fanfiction #petrichor

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plubbo · 1 year

Text

Grey Hairs (Crosshair x reader)

word count: 1086

warnings: none. just some fluff

(My first ever post on Tumblr. Did I do this because I have grey hairs and to cope with tech x phee? Maybe, maybe. Also, the reader is implied to have long-ish hair. Anyways, enjoy!)

You woke up in the early afternoon, exclaiming to yourself when you checked the time. There was a small note on the counter near your bed that read,

“Me, Hunter, Echo, and Tech (Omega’s tagging along too) are going for a supply run. We’ll be back in a jiffy!

-Wrecker ʘ‿ʘ ”

You sighed, placing the note back down onto the counter. There was no point in going out to find them, so you’d have to wait in the ship all alone.

Wait, the note said that Wrecker, Hunter, Echo, Tech, and Omega went out, meaning that there was still someone on the ship.

Kriff.

You rolled your eyes as you let out a sigh. Did it have to be him? Of all of the squad members, he was the one on the ship with you.

You and Crosshair never really got along all that well, but maybe that was just because you hadn’t talked too much? Well, it doesn’t matter now. This could be a potential bonding experience.

You grabbed a datapad and walked out of your room into the cockpit, which was where a familiar silvery-haired squadmate was sitting. He was in the pilot seat cleaning his sniper, like he usually does when there’s nothing else to do.

You sat down on the co-pilot seat, giving him a small wave as you did. He let out a quiet huff that you almost didn’t notice.

“Good morning to you too,” you hissed. You swiveled the seat so that it faced away from Crosshair and looked down at the datapad you brought out of your room. While you scrolled through an article, your long hair got in the way of your view of the screen, so you tucked some of it behind your ears. It was a simple solution, but it only lasted for a few minutes before you realized that your hair had fallen back to its original position. You sighed as you tucked it behind your ear once more, only for the same outcome.

Luckily for you, you had a hairband around your wrist. You thought that you should just tie it up normally, but instead turned the chair back to face Crosshair. With a quick clearing of the throat, you stammered,

“Um, when you’re done with cleaning your rifle, could you.. help me with something? Take your time, of course.”

The sniper side-glared at you and stopped what he was doing for a moment. He let out a quick and quiet sigh before leaning his rifle against the controls. Then, he spoke out with his sharp, croaky voice,

“What do you want?”

“I just… Uh, could you help braid my hair?”

His facial features changed in the slightest way; you almost had to squint to see it. He raised an eyebrow and interrogated,

“Why would I do that?”

“I dunno, I just wanted you to do a favor for me. If you don’t want to, that’s fine, just tell me.”

You weren’t lying; you thought that maybe you could become a little more acquainted through it. You placed a hand over the back of your neck, which was starting to warm up with embarrassment. But, that feeling of unease left you when you heard Crosshair’s voice ring out again.

“Fine, I’ll do it. Turn yourself around.”

As he got up from his seat, you did as you were asked and repositioned yourself so that the back of your head faced Crosshair.

He took a handful of your hair in his hands before stopping what he was doing and asking,

“What now?”

“Pfft. Ahem, divide my hair equally into thirds and just cross the parts over each other.” You found it funny how he asked that, but you needed to stifle your laughter. You didn’t want to anger him, especially since he had a handful of your hair in his hands.

At first, he tugged at your hair and moved it around harshly, not really knowing his own strength. It was until you let out an ‘ow!’ sound that he started treating you gentler. He also kept fumbling around with your hair; it always either fell out of his grip or he thought it didn’t look quite right and had to redo it. You didn’t know what exactly you were expecting.

At one point, he eventually just dropped the handful of hair he had and exclaimed,

“I’m done. It’s not work–”

He stopped speaking when he saw something on your scalp shine in the dim lighting of the Marauder. He moved a couple of strands of hair around to reveal many hidden grey strands scattered around your head.

As he stopped speaking, you worried that he was frustrated, so you tried to console him.

“If you can’t do it, it’s okay. I’ll just–”

“You have grey hair.”

“Huh? Oh, yeah, I know that. Don’t pull them out.”

“I didn’t say I was going to. But, why not?”

“Well, ‘cause it would hurt. And…” You quickly thought of another reason. “And because it kinda matches with yours.”

You turned your head to look up at his face to see his reaction. The corners of his lips were turned upwards in the slightest way. But, it quickly vanished and he retorted,

“Why would you want to ‘match’ with me? I certainly don’t want to match with you.”

He crossed his arms and sat back down in his seat, soon resuming his cleaning.

You would be lying if you said the statement didn’t sting a little, but you knew it was insincere because of the small smile on his face. You decided to mess with him a little.

“I’m not keeping it just because it matches yours. I just think it’s neat. The color looks good on you, so maybe it would look good on me.”

You could see him freeze and force a scowl on his face to hide the smile. But, in the end, the smile still showed on his face. It was bigger than the last one, too.

“Thank you,” he commented in an undertone.

“Oh, I’m sorry, did you say something?”

That earned an eye roll from him, but he swiveled his chair around to face you and he repeated louder,

“Thank you.” He hesitated before adding, “If we were to ‘match’, then yours will look.. decent at best. Don’t let anyone pull them out.”

You nodded your head at him, grinning wildly.

“Don’t worry, I wasn’t planning on it.”

For the first time, Crosshair returned a small smile to you.

#tbb crosshair #sw tbb #tbb #the bad batch #crosshair #crosshair x reader #crosshair bad batch #bad batch #tbb x reader #tbb x you

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alvivaarts · 6 months

Note

🌤

This is an answer for the prompt: 🌤️Share your favorite piece of dialogue from your WIP. Other prompts are listed below. Please send them to my ask box! ---------- An unposted excerpt from Simulation Swarm. This was hard as hell to pick because I'm proud of a lot of the dialogue I have written up for it. I have a whole section just dedicated to dialogue blurbs for me to put in as needed!

They sit there in the window, staring out at the black as if Rebecca can see anything.

“I liked,” she starts, and then holds it in. It pinches in her shoulders like maybe she wants to laugh. “This’s gonna sound so stupid.”

“Honest, Bec? I don’t think anything can sound stupid right now,” he muses in reply. “It’s you, anyway. Nothing stupid about it.”

Something brief passes her face then. He can see it in the dark, the strange and still unfamiliar way his own eyes pull out what little light is left in the world to make out her round face and Winona Ryder pixie cut. For a moment, Leon thinks they’re just- somewhere else. And it’s become easier to think that, to escape just a little bit in words and pretending that their ‘what is’ is something else, a dream. Perhaps she shares that comfort, especially with how her fingertips drop to drum against the window ledge.

“I liked orchestral and all. But if I really wanted to focus or sleep- birdsong. Isn’t that dumb?”

A part of him wants to offer her protest again, but instead he just lets his face break into a faint smile as he shrugs, shakes his head.

“Like… birds making music, or just…”

“Just… birds. In the woods sometimes, you know, like on those archival sites for ornithologists to share all the stuff they had.” There’s something in Rebecca’s voice, in the way her face softens as she stares out, that’s entirely smitten, comfortable with the thought. He can’t bear to stop her. “I downloaded ‘em all on my iPod just to have it. And my favorite was this one bird. The uhm… Kauaʻi ʻōʻō? Yeah.”

“Why that one?”

“I dunno. I dunno! I just- there was something about it. It went extinct in ‘89, and I was just a kid then, I didn’t know. And I’ve been thinking about it, you know, how that’s just… it’s always gonna be there. The sound of it. Not even it, but a part of it. And we’ve been walking all this way and feeling like the world is ending. Well-” she chuckles, faintly.

“It is.” He offers for her, and she half shakes her head, tilts it to and fro like she’s saying ‘I guess’.

“Yeah. But still, there’s… there’s people. There’s still always gonna be people no matter what, I don’t care who or what started this again, or why this all happened- Umbrella, or some government, or some asshole- but there’s just always gonna be people. Somebody’s gonna always be makin’ bagels. And ice cream. And running trains, or trying to. There’s always gonna be people making music and people digging up old stuff.”

“And people listening to dead birds?”

“That too.” ---------- Other prompts: 🌀Post the fic summary for a fic you haven't written/published yet. It can be hypothetical or something you really plan on releasing... ❄️Share a snippet from a WIP of your choosing. 🌧️Share something angsty from your WIP. 🌈 Share something soft/fluffy from your WIP. 💧 Share something romantic/hot from your WIP, or just something sweet if it's gen. ☔Is there a fic concept you have that you'd like to just explain and share because you're not sure you'll ever write it? If so, what is it? 🌪️Sum up a WIP with a few fic tropes/Ao3 tags.

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katabaesis · 8 months

Text

tag game

tagged by @basuralindo — it seems that I post a section of WIP and tag people to also do the same? I'm not sure if anyone else is writing fic on my TL right now hahaha but! If you see this consider yourself tagged :)

Thanks for tagging me! Er, dunno why this got weirdly long for an excerpt... anyway... a small excerpt from 'heir apparent' the next bit of 'long live the king' series...

There isn't a body to bury.

STYX takes Leona Kingscholar's body away. Idia Shroud knows that it doesn't matter. There isn't a body because no one will remember Leona was even ever at Night Raven College. There's so much work for STYX to do. Idia's father even comes to school — for work, he says, but the first thing he does is check on Idia and Ortho — and then goes to Sunset Savanna. It turns out easiest to say that Leona Kingscholar had died in childhood, Overblotted after he found his sick mother hidden away as the family secret. It's an odd lie, Idia thinks when he reads the report but it turns out that Leona's birth had been difficult on the queen and some part of her had never recovered. When Leona had died apparently Lethe's memory wiping hadn't worked on her so spinning the lie around her insistence her son had gone to Night Raven College was necessary. It leaves a bad taste in Idia's mouth. He thinks about Ortho and really the entire Shroud family, doomed to be forgotten and also to drag whoever had the bad luck to get involved with them or too stained with blot down to hell with them. But inevitably, as he always does, Idia settles into resignation.

They make Ruggie the Housewarden. Headmaster Crowley hems and haws about it clearly unsure what to do with a Housewarden who doesn't come with prestige, power or money. All the students though know that Ruggie is — was — Leona's right hand. Even if he wasn't technically Vice Housewarden Ruggie was the heart and Leona the brain. If asked Ruggie would have declined but there's no asking when it comes to Overblot cleanup. They simply make it happen. Replacing that many memories is difficult and it's obvious that Ruggie can tell something is missing. Idia is glad he attends Housewarden meetings via tablet because he wouldn't be able to hide his expression, not with the stumbles over things Ruggie should know — if he is truly Housewarden — or the blanks in memory that everyone seems to share.

"And, on the topic of academic eligibility. . ." Vil Schoenheit intones. There is the barely veiled something in his voice. Idia would call it judgey. Riddle called it leadership. Azul only ever commented on it if he wanted something from either the party under scrutiny or Vil himself. Scarabia had no horse in the race and Kalim couldn't read Vil's tone anyway.

"Hm? What about it?" Ruggie asks.

"Test scores are posted publicly." Vil points out.

"Yeah? An' so what? Savanaclaw's meeting what we need to." Ruggie is defensive and Idia can't see his expression but imagines Ruggie must look trapped. Leona had been able to field scrutiny with the swagger of any jock alpha male but Ruggie had never been the type.

"There are academic standards to uphold." Riddle breaks in. "While bare minimum is something students can achieve as Housewarden you should be — "

"Should be this? Should be that? Who're you all to say that? I never asked for this. This ain't my job. It's — " Ruggie snaps and then his words come to a halt.

"Ahhh. Right. Right. Let's all just remember every dorm has its strength, right? Here at Ignihyde we're technomantic specialists. Pomefiore's being super bijin and Savanaclaw is meatheads good at throwing rocks. All this arguing is cutting into my game time. Hurry it up." Idia mutters. it successfully derails everyone from whatever Ruggie was going to say. ("Meatheads? I'll show you meathead." "Bijin? Please, Idia use normal language that doesn't reduce my students to just looks." "I notice you said nothing of Octavinelle." "Let's all get along like Idia-senpai said!")

#wip #meme

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lettersofallure · 9 months

Note

Hi love!

Here I am because I LITERALLY NEED THIS request to be written.i could write it, but honestly I just want to enjoy this idea from someone else's view.

So Mattheo or Theo (but maybe Mattheo would be better fitted for this, but it's up to you I love both of them), where the reader is in love with them, they are friends, reader is Slytherin inner circle, but she never got any indication that the other feels the same. They have had moments but that's all. So when a ball comes around, and it's time to pair up, reader is low-key hopeful Mattheo/Theo would ask her, but soon she finds out Mattheo/Theo asked someone else, some very random girl, so reader is kinda pissed, and agrees to go with someone who isn't that liked by Mattheo/Theo and their friendgroup that much, or has a real bad reputation (even to their standards), I dunno I saw a lot of writers go with Adrian Pucey, or McLaggen in this ungrateful role. Anyway, the friendgroup isn't very happy, but readers stand her ground that this person asked them nicely, and she haven't experienced anything bad with them, and she wants to piss off the guys. This person might have been trying to flirt with the reader or something before. So leading up to the ball readers partner starts to show his true colors, and it's peaking at the ball when something happens (as much angst as you can handle my dear writer), and eventually Mattheo/Theo is the one to help/save etc. the reader from their ball partner. Angst, hurt/comfort, fluff anything just make me feel it.

So I think that's all 🫣😍

Thank you for letting me know you'll love to write this! ❤️

My goodness- I LOVE this idea, first off thank you for giving such good details and specifics as it helps me know what you want included!-Don’t worry I’ll still throw in a good twist so it has a little unpredictability. I can’t wait for this to be my first request on this page and I hope you enjoy it once finished. I’ll probably take about 2-3 days to post it but I will make sure to tag you and as for it being Mattheo or Theo…you’ll just have to wait and see ;)

Thank you for the request, Darling!🖤

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chocmarss · 1 year

Note

Hi there. I too have come across some lovely artwork and General stories, but then I see something like 'pro shippers do not interact' and I'm like, so I shouldn't say how much I like your work? I wouldn't mention my Ship, and take your works for the Gen works they are, but ... it leaves me feeling sad. I would never push my OTP on anyone, nor mention it to those who I'm not 100% certain ship it too. Just like I would never say anything about others' pairings that make me want to cry. Thank you.

Let’s put this under here

It’s exactly like this, thank you, anon. Some people may not know this, but I can very much enjoy a thing even if it’s gen and platonic when it concerns my favourite characters. For me, liking something doesn’t have to be a single hill to die on, fandom is a place where I can enjoy multiple scenarios! Multiple AUs! Multiple situations where this and this can happen, while that and that can also happen on this same character but under different circumstances. They’re like. Toasts. I can spread one side with butter, and I can spread the other one with strawberry jam, and sometimes I want peanut butter, or marmalade, or mixed berries jam. Sometimes I want to make them into a sandwich, sometimes I’m happily eating my single slice of jam toast on its own.

It’s fine, normal honestly, that people don’t ship the things I ship, and that those ships could squick them out or they just dislike that ship in general. But my problem with modern fandom nowadays is they think they can be rude to anyone who they haven’t even met or seen, and it’s all because this ship they don’t like is such an atrocity to them that if someone else likes it, you’re immediately put under the ‘problematic’ zone. And that you’ll get spat at for even liking this ship, or that it’s ‘morally unethical’ to even consider it in this light, when the core of fandom is always, always that it’s a place for people to have fun, and for them to explore possibilities that the original creators of the media won’t touch with a mile-long pole.

I mean, fine, sure, I won’t tag this ship which I coincidentally ship on your art, and I wasn’t going to anyway because you didn’t even tag it in the first place. But, to use that ship name in a sentence that’s basically, “[ship name] shippers i will fucking stomp you with my hooves” and putting that kind of negativity in said ship’s name tag, making people who do enjoy that ship see your comments? I dunno. Seems entitled. And pretty shitty.

I have been in fandom spaces for more than a decade, and I’m far too tired to deal with people like that anymore. My go-to response when something like that happens nowadays is to just Block. In fact, they should try it, too. It’s a life-saver. Makes me happier knowing I don’t need to deal with that kind of stuff again. I’m fine in my own little sandbox, thank you.

#fandom wank #vent #rant #anon #ask

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emptymanuscript · 1 year

Text

I'm having lots of thoughts about the correction of privilege without the mental battery to really put them together well (it's already been a really long weekend).

But I'm wondering if there is a difference between callout and help (I don't have a good term for this). For instance I don't think being called out has ever produced a desirable result for me. But there is this close kin to it that I DO think helps me (thus help as my best working word at the moment).

And I think there are some specific if possibly subtle differences.

I think the first is that help is less attack and more defense. The emphasis is on "I know this and you don't so let me tell you what I know." It's grounded in the idea that I'm ignorant and trying to solve the problem of my ignorance instead of the problem of me. If that makes sense.

I think that makes it easier in the context when there is a relationship. It's very rarely strangers giving me help, it's people I trust anyway. Part of friendship and helping each other out is pointing out where we're wrong so we can do better for ourselves. There's this mutual respect, I guess. I trust them to work for me and they trust me to accept the work they're giving me.

To carry over from that, I think coming across posts is more helpful to me than getting into arguments in posts. Because the basis is "I" rather than "You." It's someone sharing their experience. Even if they ARE putting forward that I'm wrong logically from what they're saying. (This by the way is why I think ownvoices is so important for me when I'm not that background, it's a way for me to reevaluate and learn).

It's simply that for my friends and loved ones, that relationship is pre-established. If someone else wants to do it in argument, I find I need to find that trust that it isn't an attack. Or at least not more of an attack than I deserve. I don't think that's fair but I think it is a difference.

But I think the biggest division is the one that's hardest for someone besides myself or someone who knows me fairly well to see. A callout can kind of be anything. Any correction for any reason for any purpose. Help is definitely in support of something I want.

The major impetus of these thoughts was tagging onto a post about poverty and how I couldn't understand it (the link at start). And one of the deep things related to that is how I just kind of keep grudges and judgements forever. I have deep seated issues with the other kids I went to school with. It's very hard for me to make myself think along the lines that they were just kids and not little incarnations of evil. The two class discussions that have really stuck in my mind the last 30 years or so was one about poverty where my class essentially presented the belief that every beggar was a con-man and the poor deserved their circumstances. And one about the (monetary) value of ethics, where it was only my teacher and I expressing any sentiment against the idea that everyone has their price and it is some amount of cold hard cash. No matter what. The heartlessness, moral emptiness, and... I dunno, evil is all I've got, of those opinions is something I very actively didn't want. I did not want to be like my schoolmates.

So, in some ways, I look at views of poverty / wealth and getting helped on it a bit like physical therapy. Yes, it might be quite uncomfortable in the moment but we can both see how it is going to help me deal with the problem I have and live the kind of life I want to live. I want to be the opposite of those evil little shits. I wanted to be different from them then and I still want to be different from then now. And because childhood grows up with you, they've all grown into MAGAts now. So when someone, usually my wife who grew up poor, says about that topic, "That's not how real life works, I have that experience and it's like this," it's an opportunity for that work toward a specific goal. It enables me to be more like how I want to be anyway. It's non-random discomfort and non-random improvement.

There's also a deep rooted fear that I'm NOT different. Because I have absolutely no reason that I can point to for why I was different from the extreme majority of my classmates. I wasn't odd in my socio-economic status. I didn't live somewhere else. I wasn't the only Jew. I wasn't even the only person who self-identified as on the left of the political spectrum. I wasn't anything different from everybody else. There's zero I can look at and say, "Ah, that's why I'm not like them," that's nice, safe, natural, and true about me so I can confidently assume I won't turn evil. Which means there is some pain there even if I don't run into help. There's always the real possibility that I, too, am an evil little shit I don't want to be and I'm only pardoning myself because I'm myself. Which isn't a pleasant thought.

Lastly, there isn't the element of "Shut up and listen." It's just listen. It's not asking me not to form an opinion, it's asking me to take in new information to form my opinion. It's the assumption that I would have a different opinion if I understood rather than the assumption that I shouldn't have a different opinion from the person giving the help. Because my opinion is based on a misunderstanding, the important thing is changing the misunderstanding / ignorance, rather than that I have an opinion. I can still form a different opinion from the helper as long as it is based on accurate information. Which I suspect is one of the most difficult aspects of helping. And is probably ever harder as the relationship between us attenuates.

I think that's the best I can do for now for why I think being helped to see how my privilege undermines my understanding is perversely desirable. It's that I can see there is a way for it to enable me to be the person I want to be. I make snarky jokes about being a class traitor but I think there is some real desire in there, there is some amorphous group and psychology I'm aware of that I actively want to cut out of myself because I despise it so much. For entirely my own reasons. If any of any of this makes sense. And maybe it's just exactly the same as a callout but it resonates with me, in which case it's all pointless. I dunno.

And I'll shut up now.

#privilege #thinking out loud #babbling #why oh why can't I say something short for once?

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bansenshukai · 2 years

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So to be totally honest, every single time I have ever posted art it's been a struggle to actually add ship/character tags. (I'm using the term art abstractly here, to apply to both writing/drawing).

And this is because I'm scared, on some level, of my art being perceived by others (I know this is a normal feeling, I'm not looking for someone else to give me absolution btw. Please don't try to reassure me, I don't need it). But especially since I'm so rarely fully satisfied with my own work, my natural instinct is to clutch it and shove it away and go "No, don't look at it, look at something better instead".

Anyway, I am not my thoughts. So I post and tag anyway. I refuse to let my silly fear take control of me. Who am I to decide whether other people do or don't enjoy my art? It's literally out of my hands. Trying to decide other people's opinions for them is just arrogance.

I vowed to myself when I created this blog that I would post my fandom art here, because I wanted it all archived in one spot, and that I would genuinely enjoy my own blog. So I will. And I have! Ultimately this blog is by me for me, and thankfully I've remained apathetic about followers/notes. (Mostly I use it like a fandom diary.)

And as much as I complain or point out flaws in my own work (which I should probably do less of, but yk. work in progress. also complaining is wicked fun), I still genuinely enjoy making it. I can still look at the piece and appreciate what I put into it (most of the time, bc absolutism doesn't exist), which is super important because there is no magical future where you suddenly improve and flip a switch into liking your own art.

How you feel about what you make won't change, because you always live in the present and must confront your current work in the now. It doesn't matter how good you become. The future you, with the perfect beautiful art doesn't exist, because by the time you reach it it will merely be the present you. So you need to enjoy the now, because there is no other state of existence.

Also, I post these because I dunno, I always liked reading other creators' thoughts/struggles on their blogs, because it made me realize that doubt and fear were normal things that everyone feels. Something I realized was that it doesn't matter how good you think an artist is-- they too struggle with their own work. It's something natural that you must deal with and move on. A healthy relationship with your own art (be it writing/drawing/music/pottery/etc) doesn't mean that you don't feel negative thoughts and emotions. It just means you are equipped to deal with those feelings in a productive manner and aren't consumed by them.

#art thoughts #long post incoherent ramble warning #and of course it's always a work in progress #but what in life isn't?#do i need to tag this as a fucking diary entry or something lmao #anyway i don't think in sentences. i think in paragraphs. my god do i love to ramble #i like having these diary snapshots to look back in time and see what i was thinking #um maybe i will realize tmrw morning that the fever deliria caused me to vomit words on the internet. god i am fucking tired

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basedkikuenjoyer · 2 years

Photo

Time was meaningless before, now I feel obligated to play with the order of this one. 1060 is a banger and I’ll say this first off. From the start when I raised the idea of a twist around Kiku/Yamato, I did say I could see it being the right logic but a setup for say, Vivi. Hancock last chapter seemed like another good outlet than can sorta straddle that thematic line. Bonney? Holy shit never even considered her but she’s perfect! If I had the rough idea but the answer was Bonney having a big role like Law/Bege for a bit? Love it, watch where she flips and seems inconsistent or two-faced. That said...if you made it with me this far:

🎶 Bonney, Bonney. Bonney...BOOOOOOONNNEEEYYYYYYY!!!! I’m beggin Oda please go with this plan. 🎶

Think about it, think about it, think about it. This is stupidly easy and it’s a perfect mirror to how we were meeting Kin in the first place. What role have I spun for Kiku as a new recruit? A big sister, nanny type Quartermaster. So what’s a great, borderline hackneyed trope plot for showing the virtue of such a character? I dunno, some kinda magic power turns all the crew into kids? Who cares about the specifics the concept is 24kt, surgical-grade gold. Know why? Returning the Favor for Kin’emon! Supernova tags the crew with a silly power that can really fuck em over and yes...if Luffy and Chopper (our Udon crew) get sucked out into a side story I 100% can see a nice establishing encounter out of Kiku & Bonney. Luffy can topple some local tyrant or whatever.

As perfect of an out as Bonney is for the themes, she’s also a great step forward for what I’ve been talking about. Mixed up time girls, winter island means kiddie Straw Hats will know what starving on the streets of Ringo felt like, them being hampered but not quite incapacitated is the perfect spotlight for a new Jill-of-All-Trades. Bonney’s own time abilities are perfect for unpacking our skewed Wano time.

Well hey! It’s that scene we talked about. You know, the one where if we kept showing it we’d see Luffy explain how Ace doesn’t like to show weakness. This is one of Fallensnowfan’s and it took me a sec, but honestly yeah seasickness could be a fun excuse. The idea is if Yamato built that much of a bond Kiku could easily be in Usopp territory and socially graceful enough it didn’t need to be spelled out. It could have been agreed to before the Raid even! The hook is keeping it subtle, but she did slip in “Torao-san” at the halfway mark. The big moments have happened, we need to sort out our time oddities though through the reveal. Playing with character knowledge and reader knowledge.

Chronic seasickness is a bomb gag for her no one else has, plays nice with this quirk she shares with Ace and is perfect for our timing needs. If she’s just seasick there’s no reason to worry or blab a lot about her, you’d just be adding shame to illness. Also a callback to Kin’s stomach issues in Act 1 and would work with the potential 1058 cameo. Just saying, perfect excuse to keep her out of sight and free from the initial setup if we’re doing kiddie Strawhats.

Then there’s this classic gag we had let’s see...right before Robin joined. With oh a t/n...probably something like “keikaku means plan.” No, wait, is it? It’s that pun I was waiting all Act 2 for! Big Mom & the Big Mum, featuring Chopper, Tama, & Momo. But well, it is a callback for Vivi too.

Robin, you’re about as blatantly taunting me as Law was about not needing to be a hyena to sniff out a mystery like who’s absent from the party. I love you. Oh yeah, and Caribou. Like...we know they shoved his evil ass in that barrel and chained it. Just the fact we never saw that though is weird. Okay, but one last big one I’m kicking myself from scrubbing off of last week’s post. Last time I ever worry about being too long-winded.

The hidden dream. Forget what it is for now, just the fact Luffy has a hidden dream he keeps to himself because people tend to laugh and it seems impossible anyways. Gee, who on Wano might be able to relate to something like that? Kiku doesn’t need a complex dream, hers is obvious and fate defying but she’s too guarded to easily cough it up. Oden/Kin callously laughed, Izo snipped at her, overheard people making fun of her, group of girls excluded her. Doesn’t have to be much. The fun is in the dramatic irony we know it’s something that can be sorted out easily by the time we meet her. No sense in saying anything until you actually meet up with Iva anyways. It be cruel to dangle that and not be able to deliver.

Just saying...I can certainly live with Bonney being the focal point for where all this was headed. That would be awesome to me actually because Jewelry Bonney is a riot! But it’s the same thing I always thought about Vivi. You’re someone we know was kinda spur of the moment by Oda’s own admission. Kiku goes even deeper in his history even if we meet her later.

#one piece #chapter 1060 #jewelry mutha fuckin bonney #op spoilers #op 1060 #Post-Wano Musings

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smugraccoon137 · 1 year

Text

Supergirl Season 1 Episode 2 Review and Thoughts

*Bluey Voice* This episode is called “Let's all make Kara Cry”

Kara: Is this because I'm a-

J’onn: Woman?

Kara: I was gonna say Alien

Yes this is how painful it is every time the writers try being “allies”

*The news anchor talking about Supergirl being a fuck up*

Me: IS that The word with PERDD?????

I do love Kara flashbacks actually aiding her knowledge of aliens on earth

Slightly uncomfortable with how much kryptonite the DEO has just on hand. Also regardless of the dilution/percentage used wouldn’t the rock still like make Kara super ill and in pain??

Yes, let's take the girl who's never been in a fight before and just kick her ass instead of teaching her. Because that’ll make her learn faster?? Instead of just making her feel stupid and isolated. OH but its fine because they weren’t trying to teach her anything other than she sucks at fighting and needs to be careful. Mission accomplished!

This writing is lazy for having 45 mins to achieve something. Especially when it’s obvious Alex didn’t want to tackle it that way. And apologized for it anyways like 20 mins later.

I understand conflict resolution. What I can’t forgive is just writing characters however is convenient to your episodic plot

Wow episode two is all about lets make Kara fucking cry huh? Thats it thats the title of this review

Okay so Cat Grant’s speech was actually really good. I’d say probably one of the best parts of the episode actually

Like it bit. It was painful to hear and to watch Kara hear. But it was actually informative and motivating. And more helpful than anyone else has been so far to Kara’s journey. Alex has mostly been unsupportive, making Kara feel bad about the whole thing, and trying to push her back into normalcy. Winn and James have been supportive for sure helping her with the costume, talking her feelings out, and even helping her find crimes to handle. But no one has given her any advice. I’m looking at you Clark. No one has jumped in to say “Hey you know what would be a good idea? Or what you should do?” She’s been very isolated in her decision making. Which I dunno, maybe thats just normal adulthood. But it certainly feels lonely.

I like that Ms.Grant is Kara’s irritable fairy godmother/voice of reason character. It’s actually interesting because it contrasts Kara’s sunshine nature so hard. You expect Ms.Grant to put her down or to try to diminish her ambitions. But on some level you can see the genuine care she has for her assistant. And how she does uplift her and give her advice quite often. So far she’s one of the only people to put something into Kara not take away.

Gotta love Winn and James meeting in the alley and treating each other like an awkward hook up you’d rather not talk to right now

Not a huge fan of Kara's only friends both being dudes who are into her and are probably going to end up competing with each other. I’d really love for the girl to just have some regular friends who care about her and don’t want anything in return.

Which kind of adds to my thoughts on the writer's attempts at being feminist allies. Why spend all that time writing bad “is it because I’m a girl” one liners when you’re just going to make her just a girl anyways. Why try so hard to be like “We’re doing it! We’re writing a show about Supergirl a woman!!!” When you’re going to take the only two friends she has and make them romantically interested in her just because they’re both men?

It’s eye rolling

I appreciate the boys tag teaming to help her though

Not bicurious Winn lol

“I ahhhh helped make that outfit” Looking into James eyes with like 3 inches between them

“I got some mad sewing skills” awkward flirting noted

Ohhhh more super hero montages to hit me with your best shot!

I love all the classic crimes from bank robbery to car chase to rescuing a pet from a tree

Autism headcanon is holding up

Baby Kara scared of the popcorn maker. Thats audio sensitivity bitchhh

Can we talk about the fact that the DEO has government possession of the craft that got Kara here? And like how weirdly invading that is. Clarks ship had message crystals in his. Information and wisdom to help him on Earth. It was the first contact he really had with his heritage.

For Kara it's like the last thing her family gave her. I mean Alex brought that message from her mother in ep 1, where do you think she got it? Karas ship obviously

Like you don’t think Kara would have loved to here that message like 10 fucking years ago? Would have loved to hear her mothers voice again 10 years ago? Would have cried herself asleep with at least evidence of her home.

The fact that the DEO just confiscated her shit and hasn’t even relinquished it back to her as an adult is sickening to me.

Gotta love the government “shoot it shoot it now with lots of guns” that'll get that alien done in just fine

I really love this common ground between Kara and James about being in Clark’s shadow. That's a really good place to start for their relationship, and I’m curious to see them relate more over it

“Growing up, I was taught that to accept help from people is not a shame, it’s an honor” - Kara

I have a feeling this is something that will be ignored or something she will struggle with in the future

AHHH “El Meyarah” Stronger Together

Okay I get it. Shes different from Clark. She wants super friends. I gotcha I gotcha

Not Kara educating James on Krypton when Clark don't know shitttttt

Alex dont fucking reveal you know shit holy fuck dude thats like first rule of secret ops. Bitch really just started running her mouth immediately

I love this idea of Twins being rare on Krypton because of the matrix. Why would it make a copy when it already made what it needed?

Fight scene between Kara and her Aunt was good, but that was some bullshit about Kara actually learning from Alex and their “training” session earlier in the episode. You can’t act like she learned something when no one taught her anything!

I don’t like how quick to adapt Kara is about the whole Aunt Astra thing. That's a pretty big deal wtf

Alex: My parents had me prepared to deal with you being really sad and fucked up because your whole planet got destroyed. But then you were like super happy and not sad at all! You’ve always been like that tee hee

Sounds like Kara was really good at hiding all her sadness as a kid dude. Big oof

I like that Alex and Kara are going to work on defense stuff in the future and it's a mutual decision

I just realized that Clark never took Kara to the Fortress of Solitude >:[

Love Alex introducing Kara to her Living Memory mother. But fuck this is torturesome. Again Clark has his crystal ai Dad. But it's like that's obviously not his father, that's not Jonathan. Jor-El is there to help him learn about Krypton. To understand the history, ability, and nature of his people. A people he doesn’t know. Jor-El isn’t a parent he goes to for comfort or advice. He’s an informant, a wise man.

For Kara that living memory is like a reminder. A reminder of everything she's lost. Of something that she will never have again. It's almost cruel. To come to it seeking guidance and affection, and not being able to receive that. Only information and calculations.

You may say “But her foster parents! Her sister!” I’m not saying they aren’t her family, but if you’ve never had your family taken from you in some way, you won’t understand that it's just not the same.

That's totally general Zod isnt it

Gotta love Kara picking Cat Grant's car up for her interview

#two episodes in one day got me fucked up #this show is really all over the place #i really want to like it though so imma keep watching #supergirl #cw supergirl #kara zor-el #kara danvers #text #textpost #episode thoughts #episode review

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reallygrossstuff · 1 year

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Susie forcing Kris into diapers?

As of typing this, this is the last DR request in my inbox. If nothing new comes in I guess I'll have to find something else to write (or stop procrastinating and finish my longer stories instead OTL)

Also I've done enough of these that I should probably start using character tags. I won't use the characters' real names because this definitely doesn't belong in the main tags, but my bad jokes will probably make it obvious who's who.

“Oh, this is too good,” Susie cackled, leaning back as she opened Kris’ dresser drawer the rest of the way. Obviously the first thing she’d done on being let into Kris’ bedroom was to dig for dirt, hunting around for an old diary or photo album, but she hadn’t at all expected what she’d actually found.

In the bottom drawer of the dresser, next to a pile of neatly-folded winter pyjamas, was an opened pack of nighttime diapers.

The moment Kris saw what Susie had found, what little colour they had drained from their face, the human quickly averting their eyes from the sight. Good, it wouldn’t be funny if Kris wasn’t ashamed to have it found.

“Man, Kris, you just keep upping the ante on being a weenie, huh?” Lifting the pack out of the drawer, Susie set it down on Kris’ bed to get a better look at it. The packaging said there were two dozen in the pack, but there were probably four or so missing, creating a noticeable void within the clear plastic wrapping.

“Shut up,” Kris hissed, probably going for insulted but really just coming across as embarrassed. “I don’t wear those, mom just never throws anything out.”

“There’s some missing,” Susie said, fixing Kris with her best smug grin and waiting out their attempt at stoic silence.

Eventually they cracked, the need to defend themself winning out over the urge to not dig their hole deeper. “...I caught that stomach bug that went around the school last year, and it was worse for humans - don’t laugh!” They cut themself off when Susie started doing just that, one hand gripping her face as she laughed at the ceiling.

“Oh wow, that’s great, I needed a laugh like that.” Eventually Susie’s glee settled, her loud laughter no longer raising Kris’ hackles. “I bet you looked so dumb in these things, I’ve gotta see that.”

Crossing their arms over their chest, Kris said, “It’s not like mom took photos of me while I was sick.”

“No, duh, that’d be dumb. But I’ve still gotta see it.”

Kris just stared for a minute, clearly not getting what Susie was saying. She waited silently, counting the seconds until realisation brought heat back to their face. “Absolutely not.”

“I wasn’t asking you! After all the bossing us around you did today, I deserve to see something this stupid.” She watched Kris turn towards the bedroom door, but it was easy to get there first and lean her weight against it so they couldn’t open it. “No running away from this one.”

Kris kept trying to pull at the door anyway, but without any magic Dark World strength it stayed firmly shut. “Why do you even want to see something that stupid?”

“I dunno, stress relief? Payback for you telling Noelle I have a tail? Do I gotta have a reason? It’s just funny.” Once Kris stopped yanking at the door, Susie grabbed them by the neck of their shirt and dragged them back towards the bed, Kris quickly giving up on trying to out-strength her.

“Telling Noelle you have a tail didn’t ruin your reputation, though.”

“And this is gonna ruin yours? It’s not like I’ve got a phone to take pics on, and I already know you’re a huge nerd, this isn’t gonna change that. It’s just getting even. Now quit trying to distract me, we’re getting you in this thing.”

Obviously Susie had no idea how to put a diaper on somebody, but the point of this wasn’t to do it well. Shoving Kris until they sat on the bed, she yanked their pants and boxers down around their ankles (admittedly awkward, but Susie kept focused on the task at hand) before grabbing one of the diapers from the pack now that it was back in arm’s reach.

Wrapping the diaper around Kris’ waist - and working around their defensive gestures in the process - Susie pulled all the tapes as tight as they’d go, assuming that was what they were there for, and stepped back to judge the finished product, taking their pants with her as insurance.

If it wasn’t so clearly Kris’ size, Susie probably would’ve assumed the diapers were something Toriel had bought for the little kids she taught. The waistband had a repeating pattern of various monster parts, horns and tails covered in all manner of fur, scales and feathers. The main body of padding was mostly unadorned, save for a pair of vertical lines surrounded by rainbow stars, probably some sort of fade-when-wet design.

As she’d hoped, Kris looked even dumber wearing it.

“God, this is better than I expected, you look like such a weenie.” Susie grinned, only not laughing because that would make her look away from Kris’ show of ever-increasing discomfort. They kept shifting around on top of the bedspread, freezing up every time the diaper crinkled under them, tugging at the hem of their shirt as if that could ever cover them up. “Do you feel like a weenie too? I bet you do.”

“The weeniest, obviously,” Kris signed, throat bobbing with an aborted attempt to speak. If they’d said it, Susie might have assumed they were trying to deflect, but the signing was a clear indicator that they really were embarrassed by this.

“Good, that’s the point. Oh man, even Ralsei would think you look like a dork wearing those.” Eyes widening with a new thought, Susie asked, “Do you think they’d turn into something if we went to see him? Like our clothes normally do?”

“I’m not going all the way into a Dark World wearing this,” Kris replied, dodging the actual question Susie had asked. She’d bet it would turn into something though, probably something even dumber than how it already looked.

“Hell yeah you are. Here,” she said, throwing Kris’ pants back at them, “put those back on, I gotta see this.”

Kris caught the pants but didn’t otherwise move. “No. I put this on for you, I’m not going back to school wearing these.”

“God, man, just because you look like a damn baby doesn’t mean you’ve gotta act like one,” Susie groaned. “Put those on, seriously, or I’ll drag you to school without ‘em.”

Kris shut up and put the pants on quickly after that. At least they learned fast.

#really gross stuff #deltaruined #krisp #suzy

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kageyuji · 3 years

Text

asking him how to confess to your crush (him)

⤷ oikawa, suna, bokuto, iwaizumi ; [gn!reader]

TAGS: fluff/crack if you squint, confessions

NOTES: please reblog or i’ll cry

━━ OIKAWA

you can’t miss the momentary look of sadness, but he quickly hides it with a cocky smile

he tells you the cheesiest possible way to confess to someone. he doesn’t even know if it’ll work on not

(he actually hopes it doesn’t, but he can’t just be an asshole and tell you something that clearly won’t work)

but once he realizes that he is the person you like, his mind jumps to several different places all at once

he’s happy but also he can’t properly form words, please bear with him </3

“Oikawa?”

He hummed a response to you, ghost of a smile on his lips. He always liked the way you said his name, even if it was just his family name.

“I have a favor... so there’s this guy that I like, and I wasn’t sure how to tell him. Do you think you could give me ideas?”

You don’t miss the pout on his lips, the way his eyebrows furrow, the hurt in his eyes. If one were to blink, they wouldn’t have missed it. He smiled and laughed, quickly trying to hide how much his heart ached.

People — in reality, only makki and mattsun — had asked you if you had feelings for someone. But you never gave them an answer, just a flustered smile and a shrug.

“Uhm... I don’t know, depends on the person. You can get a bouquet or something, and chocolates maybe?”

A smile lit up your face. He had looked so pained to say it; his nose was wrinkled up a little, one hand at the back of his neck, eyes looking anywhere but you.

“Oh, yeah! That sounds sweet, he might like that. Should I ask him what his favorite flowers are?”

“Yeah.” His heart sunk impossibly lower.

“Got it. So, what are your favorite flowers?”

He looked up from where he’d taken a sudden interest in the floor, looking around for someone else. But no one seemed to be engaging in a conversation with you — actually, he realized it was only you and him in the room.

“No, I meant ask this guy that you like.”

“I just did.”

He doesn’t say anything at first, eyes wide and lips parted. There’s something in his eyes that you can’t quite read. Shock, or was in confusion? There was also an undertone of hurt, like he couldn’t tell if this was some sick joke or not.

“You mean... me? I’m the- you have feelings for me?”

Your heart fell then — of course you’d been nervous to tell him. But with the constant flirting, you were beginning to think that maybe it wasn’t just harmless and playful anymore. That maybe even if it was still done playfully, there was truth behind those words, behind the smiles and the winks he sent you.

“If you don’t feel the same way, it’s fine, I just-”

“No, no, that’s not what I meant. I was just a little surprised is all. I feel the same way, and you’re great, really, I just figured I wasn’t your type.”

“But you are.” You said, heating rising in your cheeks. Nothing could mask the smile he wore, even if he was trying not fight it.

“And you are my type. Guess we’re both lucky, hm?”

━━ SUNA

he is determined not to let you notice how his heart stopped in his chest

he still holds the same disinterested, bored look on his face as always, although he’s unaware you could see right through him

refuses to give you advice on how to go about confessing

in fact, the last thing he wants to do is be around you — he knows you were never his, so he can’t be upset, but it still turns his stomach

tell him before he can find an excuse to leave, or else your confession will be a lot more painstaking due to him dodging any interaction with you

“So uh... if you were to confess to someone you like, how do you think you would do it?” Your voice sounded so sweet, so genuine.

“Why? You have a little crush on somethin’?” He laughed.

“Yeah, actually.”

Oh.

You don’t miss the way his nose scrunches and the look in his eyes. He’s looking at the floor with narrowed eyes, almost as though the floor was the cause of his jealousy.

Well, not his jealousy — he wasn’t jealous, was he?

“Hm,” He hums, and you find him putting back on the same incurious face that he always wore. “I don’t know, elaborate confessions are pointless. Just tell the person how you feel. If they really like you, they won’t turn you aware for being simple.”

“Ah, that’s true.” You smile, though it’s fueled with nervousness. “So, one more thing I gotta say then.”

“Make it quick, I’ve to be somewhere soon.” Suna hates the bitter taste in his mouth.

He knows he shouldn’t care, after all he’s never worked up the courage to spill his heart to you, so he doesn’t have a right to feel like something is being torn — no, stolen — away from him.

“Right. You said simple, so... I like you, and I think you’re really sweet. And you’re funny and you’re so caring, even though you would never admit that. Um, I hope that was boiled down enough for you.”

“You’re kidding right?”

The tone in his voice is almost accusatory, although he doesn’t mean it to be, he just genuinely doesn’t believe you. When had you ever shown interest in him? Not that he was complaining.

“No. But it’s fine if you d-”

“I never said that. If you mean it though, maybe you can tell me the longer version of everything you like about me. Over coffee or something?”

━━ BOKUTO

ok first off, let me stop you right there, because baby boy is gonna get so sad :(

there is no hiding the hurt he’s feeling. he’s always expressive, even though he’s trying to hide it

please stop him there because his mood is only going downhill

actually tells you some elaborate, thought out thing that you assumed was from the top of his head

(although in reality, he’s thought about telling you how he feels on countless times)

but when he realizes that you’re talking about him he instantly does a 180, he looks like he’s in heaven

“Bokuto!” You call his name with a smile. You’ve found you can always get a matching one from him whenever you do so.

And of course he smiles back at you, the same excited look in his eyes as always. “Y/n!”

“I need advice.” You say.

His expression drops into one of worry at your tone. If there was anything that Bokuto hated in this world, it was seeing you upset.

“What is it?”

“I need to know how to tell someone that I have feelings for them.”

And just like that, you can see his heart break through his expression. His eyebrows pin up and he presses his lips into a thin line. You can tell that he’s trying not to show you how bothered he was by that one sentence.

He always was bad at pretending he was fine though. It was clear, if nothing else you could see his watery eyes.

“Oh... uhm. Can I ask who the person is?”

You’re hesitant to say it. But you don’t know why, because his reaction was your final bit of proof that he had feelings for you too. He hadn’t been subtle before, but now it was obvious.

“You.”

“What?” Bokuto said, although the word was breathless.

He doesn’t wait for you to respond to him. Instead, the wide smile he always wore appeared back on his face and he wrapped his arms around you.

Usually, Bokuto’s hugs are tight anyway. They’re filled with a need to be close to you and a need to convey the emotion of ‘you are the only thing grounding me right now’.

But this one was tighter. He buried his face into your neck, but you could hear the smile in his voice when he spoke. “I may have to confess to someone too.”

━━ IWAIZUMI

iwaizumi is a gentleman about it, as much as he doesn’t want to be

if anything, he wants to tell you right then and there about his feelings

but the fact (or rather, the thought) that you’ve taken an interest in someone else is all the evidence he needs to stop himself

the last thing he wants to do it mess with your emotions so he intends to stuff he feelings down to deepest parts of his mind in hopes that they’ll one day disappear

until of course, he realizes that he is the guy you’d been talking about

he gets giddy, believe it or not. he hates to admit it sometimes, but unbeknownst to you, you have so much control over his emotions

“So, Iwa?” You said, and he tried to overlook the cautious tone to your voice.

“Hm?”

“Uh, theres this guy that I kind of have feelings for. But the thing is, I don’t know how to tell him.” You sound nervous.

Iwaizumi assumes it’s from the thought of having to tell this person your feelings, yet he doesn’t realize that said person is him and it’s coming sooner than he’d realized.

He doesn’t say anything in response to you at first. His eyes narrow only slightly, then he takes a deep breath and turns back to you with his usual expression.

“If you’re going to tell them, do something sweet and simple. If you get all extravagant with it, it might freak ‘em out. Maybe... I dunno, buy a little gift and tell them?

He hid it well. The mix of jealousy, regret, and sadness in him was painful, but he clenched his fists and tried not to let his voice crack. If there was someone you knew that didn’t cry, it was Iwaizumi. Yet here he was, doing everything in his power not show how upset he was.

What was he even doing anyway? He was helping you find a lover that was not himself. Not that you even knew that, because in reality he’d never shown to you that he had feelings towards you.

That was something he was regretting a lot now.

“Oh I see, what kind of gift would you like?”

Ouch. As though this couldn’t hurt more. “I don’t know, depends on the person. Ask him, not me.”

“I just did, dummy.”

It took him a few seconds to process that, then another few seconds for the relief and happiness to wash over him. A smile rugged at the corner of his lips.

“That’s cute. You and I can go out somewhere this weekend and I can help you pick something out, hm?”

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insertdisc5 · 3 years

Note

Hi!! I wanted to ask, in celebration of Deltarune CH. 2, do you have any updated thoughts and head canons about the game?? Like, y'know, similar to a previous ask about Kris in your Deltarune tag? Thanks!

thoughts on kris part 2 i guess???? (part 1 from ch1 here lol)

spoilers for deltarune like woah. this wont be kris focused just random thoughts on everything. thank you for giving me the opportunity to talk

not that many thoughts for this chapter tbh! EDIT LOL: this was a lie i have a lot of thoughts

-just in general i feel like the player isn't the only one controlling kris... like yes the player forced kris to do what happened in the snowgrave route but AT THE SAME TIME idk it feels like there's someone else too. just because of the terrifying voice i suppose. and also the jerky movement kris does every time they get their soul out? unless there's another reason for it... maybe getting your soul out means you walk weird lol

-BUT ALSO i feel like kris is 100% in control when they create fountains. idk it just makes sense kris would create them. to create another world, a better world, A WORLD WHERE THEIR BROTHER IS HERE PERHAPS? i do wonder why they get their soul out then though. i'm all for it sweetie! do whatever! i support you!

-(i am and will be playing deltarune with only kris' best interests in mind. i will not hurt anyone unless kris wants me to. dont worry my little meow meow im on your side! talk to me! no? okay ill stay under the sink its fine)

-speaking of asriel. SUMMER VACATION COLLEGE WHEN? SUMMER VACATION COLLEGE WHEN? SUMMER (starts crying) V-VACATION COLLEGE WHEN

-kris misses their brother so much it's so sad. if you make kris steal 5$ from asriel they take it "reluctantly"? talking to asriel online so often even alphys knows?? the google search?? GOING INTO ASRIEL'S GOOGLE SEARCH ROOM WITH THEIR EYES CLOSED BECAUSE THEY'RE CONVINCED THEY ALREADY KNOW WHATS IN THERE? THAT ONE IS LESS OF A MISSING THING BUT IM LIKE OH MY GOD

-the city walk with susie at the end makes it clear to me that kris really values susie's friendship... kris even sits with her if you spend long enough near the lake like aaaaah ;_;

-and even in snowgrave you spend your last acts with the final boss calling for your friends like YES there's a way bigger creepy aspect to this (kris as more of a Leader who Commands and commands their subjects to come) but still :'0 (and then noelle answers oh my god noelle im so sorry for the trauma)

-berdly. listen. listen. listen. liste

-berdly sucks but [berdly hurts his arm in the battle against queen if you don't save him because he doesnt want to hurt you] [berdly realizing smg's wrong in snowgrave and immediately taking steps to save noelle] berdly is my little crumb nugget. i will protect him.

-noelle. noelle. girlboss!

-like ooooh listen. hearing about the genocide path for undertale. made me go "that is SO COOL. i HAVE to experience it myself this is great. hehehe killing time" and like no regrets. i was fully enjoying the experience knowing i was an awful person. SNOWGRAVE THOUGH. i will never try this myself its too fucked up. casually grooming your childhood friend to murder people <3 and also acting like a weird stalker towards her <3 stockholm syndrome speedrun i will get all the info i can about this but i will never do this myself

-people remarking the kris/player>noelle relationship is similar to the relationship between player>chara in genocide path is like yes. chefs kiss. don't worry we just are making you stronger and everything will be fine "you made me kill my friend? and for what?" this is fine sweetie don't worry about it!!!!!!

-like the amount of details added to snowgrave, like if you equip noelle's watch she notices later? and her battle animations change as time goes on, she gets an ice shield and stops sighing in relief after battle? oh my god? oh my god.

-(berdly is not awake.) JUST KILL ME RIGHT HERE I HAVEN'T STOPPED THINKING ABOUT BERDLY NOT BEING AWAKE!!!!!

-also why didnt he turn into dust. so many possible reasons. is magic a thing in the normal world and perhaps no magic means no dust (theres graves). maybe he isnt dead. maybe hes braindead. maybe he'll come back. either way that boy is now in the closet big enough to put someone in

-also dess' name probably being december AND THATS WHY NOELLE LOST THE SPELLING BEE?!?!??! FUCK ME UP!!!!! JUST FUCK ME UP!!!!!!! OH MY GOD!!!!!!

-also so many good pixel art this chapter. too many? i didnt need pixel art of cardboard noelle falling on the statue. like thank you but please. please it hurts my game artist brain.

-the expressions in this chapter were also top notch. all the unsettling noelle expressions like (i fall over face first)

-i threw away the ball of junk (which i already tried in ch1) and this time the game was like "ARE YOU SURE BC THIS IS A BAD IDEA" and kris felt bitter :'( (it deletes all your items in the dark world)

-i uh fucked up and skipped the susie+noelle scene bc listen last time ralsei mentionned seeing what susie is doing we missed some PRIMO LORE. turns out it just makes you skip the scene and you dont get anything new. welp

-speaking of ralsei well you know. he exists. but im stuck on him going "i just wonder what being ralsei-like even is...?" ralsei my dude there's so much i could say about this. do you feel like you can't be ralsei-like because you feel like you have to be asriel-like

-but also that makes no sense bc susie hasnt even mentioned ralsei looks like asriel. and i cant imagine asriel being so meek. so WHAT GIVES

-ralsei as kris’ “i wish i was a monster just like my bro and family and i’d look like asriel but with red horns [THE HALLOWEEN COSTUME] and my name would be something cool like ralsei instead of a boring human name like kris and im sweet and cute because thats how i act with asriel because ASRIEL MADE ME” theory because that would be cute.

-ASRIEL GOING TO THE CHURCH TO CONFESS HIS "SINS" WHEN "SINS" AREN'T A THING IN THE ANGEL BELIEF LIKE I KNOW THIS INTERACTION WAS TREATED AS A JOKE BUT WHAT THE FUCK ASRIEL?

-kris definitely has a connection with the big red door in the city, judging by what the kids say they probably went there... i feel like this place's dark world will be the Final Dungeon you KNOW some shit happened there. also the sounds you hear when you go there is the phone dark world call's sound slowed down? AND AFTER SNOWGRAVE APPARENTLY YOU CANT HEAR IT ANYMORE? HUWAH?

-speaking of songs the songs were all so good, My Castle Town rules, the berdly snowgrave music is stuck in my head, flashback is uwah wuahah, Until Next Time is so good, AND ALSO A FRIEND NOTICED THE DARK WORLD CITY THEME IS JUST tHE SONG 74 (MOST NOTICEABLE WITH THE SNOWGRAVE VERSION)?????? WHAT DOES IT MEAN????? it might be just "hey its just reuse" BUT MR FOX YOU KNOW WE'RE GONNA READ INTO THIS IS NOELLE THE ONE SINGING IDK BRO!!!!!!!!!!

-asgore dreemurr fired from the force what happun!!!!! game theory is that asgore is related to dess' death/disappearance but eh who knows

-you start the chapter at lvl2 and get to lvl3 after the final boss, a friend mentioned this is probably because we destroyed a world and im :0

-to go back to kris it's still so interesting to figure out who they are based on how they act/people mention them. like kris shaking the ferris wheel car? yeah makes sense i can imagine a pranking kid do this. kris' dance? yeah thats a little silly but i can buy it. doing cool anime poses? well i dunno this doesnt line up PERFECTLY but sure. BUT EVERYTHING THAT HAPPENS IN SNOWGRAVE... especially >proceed like that is such a weird thing that i can't imagine them doing, but i can't completely see the "player" doing either (compare with going to sans -which kris doesnt know- and going "SANS!" because of course the player would know sans), like THATS one of the reasons i feel like there's someone else in there. the weird robotic merciless actions. if im going super meta it feels like there'd be someone else like writing the choices into existence for us to pick you know? gaster probably? god i need to read more gaster theories i completely sidestepped the gaster shit bc i wasnt interested. anyway just spitballing

-(looks at big shot guy) please dont make him the next tumblr guy i beg you

-obligatory "queen was great" mention if only because this part made me laugh a little bit too hard

that was a lot. thank you for letting me talk

#ask tag #deltarune #deltarune spoilers #snowgrave spoilers

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mizunetzu · 3 years

Note

omg i’m so excited i like,, spam read all of your writing and now i can request,,, anyway, could i request maybe something similar to your Tanaka x femboy reader, but with Oikawa? like he mistakes him for a girl and maybe flirts with the reader a little bit and the reader i just like ,,”you do,, you do realize i am a man correct” and hijinks ensue?? sorry if this is too vague i suck at describing things. lotsa love your writing is literally my favorite 💕

Omg wait Oikawa??? And femboy reader??? Hijinks???? Take me now—

——————

Oikawa x reader - Oikawa Tooru Goes Both Ways

⚠️warnings - reader is mistaken and referred to unintentionally as a girl. I assure you, this is a male reader. Femboy reader, if that triggers you.

Pronouns - male, he/him

——————

Oikawa couldn’t help but stare as a...rather cute girl stepped into the gym.

“Oi! Shittykawa! Focus!” Iwaizumi was about to hurl a volleyball at Oikawa’s head when he caught sight of where he was staring. He looked from the newcomer, back to Oikawa’s eyes tracing their form up and down.

“Iwa-chan...” Oikawa held his breath as he pointed subtly. “Who is that?”

Iwaizumi looked over back to the intruder. Sure enough, some girl with (h/c) styled hair stood at the foot of the door awkwardly. They weren’t sporting the school uniform, instead wearing a skirt with a cafe apron tied around their waist. Oikawa recognized the cute logo on the somewhat dirty apron as the coffee shop he’d visit on days he wasn’t particularly busy.

All in all, this stranger was incredibly attractive.

Eventually, coach Irihata emerged from the storage closet, and motioned the stranger over. The stranger perked up, pulled out a slightly-wrinkled paper from their back, and timpered off into the office.

Oikawa sighed dreamily. “Iwa-chan...is this what I think it is? Are we fiiiiiinally getting a cute girl manager to manage our team?!”

He draped himself over Iwaizumi’s shoulders. “Aaaaah~! I’m so happy~! And it’s such a cutie too!”

“Get off me, dumbass. You have like...millions of girls throwing their panties at you, literally all that look like her. And you go for the one who decides to join our club?”

Oikawa huffed. “What’s so wrong about that! She’s cute! And she looked so shy standing there...aaaah, I’m swooning just thinking about wrapping her up in my arms-!”

“I’m saying,” Iwaizumi bonked Oikawa on the head. “If you manage to get with her, then break her heart, or at the very least make her uncomfortable, she’ll have to see your annoying face all day at practice, and then she won’t wanna be manager anymore! Because she has to see you!”

Iwaizumi pinched at Oikawa’s scalp. “I want a cute girl manager and to have them actually stay! And who knows? We get brownie points if it’s not another one of your fangirls trying to get in your pants by joining the club!”

“Ow! Mean Iwa-chan, bad!”

“I’m not a damn Pokémon-!” Iwaizumi was about to kick Oikawa in the back, before letting himself simmer down and take a deep breath. He lowered his legs, and turned towards the office door. “...I’m gonna go look at that girl’s application and see what class she’s in. Maybe we can, I dunno, make her a welcome basket of fruit or some corny shit like that.”

“Let me come with you-!”

“No! You’ll just scare her away, and you have cleaning duty! All you need to do is take down the net, and I’ll meet you outside when I’m done. If you be good, I’ll tell you her name.”

Oikawa thought about it for a second.

“Deal.”

He disappeared to take down the net from the poles. Iwaizumi sighed, and walked towards the door. They were the only two left in the gym, as they were in charge of cleanup for the day, so no one else but him should be in the office. Well, minus the new girl and coach Irihata.

Iwaizumi slid open the door. “Yo.” He greeted. He looked around the room, only finding coach Irihata.

“...Didn’t someone come in here with you with an application form?”

Coach Irihata chuckled. “Oh, yeah,”

“He just wanted to drop in his member application before his part-time job made him go back to work.”

Iwaizumi froze.

“...he...?”

“Yeah, he wanted to join the club as a (Position name). He’s not confident about his jumping or spiking abilities, but he claims to be really dang good at digging and receives.”

The two looked at eachother in silence. Wasn’t she-well, he—wearing a skirt? Now that he thought about it, everything about him looked like...well...a him, minus the skirt. Iwaizumi dashed to the table and picked up the application resting there peacefully.

‘(L/n) (Y/n) - 2nd year, class 4’

‘Position - (Position name)’

Iwaizumi scanned the page. He wanted to doubt this was the ‘cute manager’ they laid their eyes on, but they even had a school photo clipped onto the corner of the paper. Sure enough, that was him. His eyes eventually landed on something printed on the middle of the page.

‘Gender - male’

That proved it. The ‘cute girl manager’ Oikawa was just fawning over turned out to be a guy. And their future teammate, no less. Iwaizumi wanted to laugh in Oikawa’s face.

“Is there something wrong, Iwaizumi-kun?”

“Pfft-no! N-no, sirrrrr....” Iwaizumi set the paper down and walked out the the room, doing his best to keep in his snickers.

Oikawa jogged up to him excitedly once he stepped out of the gym. “So? Did ya find out her name? Her class? Is she our manager?”

Iwaizumi opened his mouth to say something, before letting his mouth clamp shut.

“Nah, coach said I couldn’t see it.”

He watched as Oikawa deflated, trudging his way over to the club room to change and go home. Iwaizumi did his best not to bust out laughing on the spot.

This should be fun.

——

“Iwa-chan!”

“No, you stalker.”

“But Iwa-chaaaaaan!” Oikawa whined. “Why not?! Practice ended early, and we could use some coffee! Come buy coffee with me!”

“You just wanna use me as an excuse to see that bo-that girl who came into our club yesterday, idiot! That’s stalking! You’re acting like your little fangirls!”

Oikawa pouted, and Iwaizumi prayed he didn’t catch him on his little slip-up. He turned around, walking off out of school gates. Oikawa dejectedly trailed behind him.

“I’m going home. Don’t bother me if it’s about that manager again—“

Just then, a text tone pinged from Iwaizumi’s pocket. He stopped mid-sentence, fishing out his phone and opening his messaging app.

‘Mom - no ones going to be home because we have to go out real quick. The house is locked, and you left your spare keys with me again. Go out and have fun with Tooru-kun before I come back!’

Iwaizumi deadpanned. Oikawa had his chin resting on his shoulder, with a shit-eating grin Iwaizumi didn’t even have to look at to know was there.

“Yeah, Iwa-chan. Listen to Mrs. Aina and hang out with Tooru-kun for a bit. We can go to the cafe and hang out like your she said, Iwa-chan~”

Iwaizumi pushed past Oikawa bitterly. “Don’t... fuckin’... call my mom by her name... dumbass... stalker... Shittykawa...” he grumbled as he trudged his way in the direction to the cafe. Oikawa let out a small “Yay~!”

——

Hiding behind the big, laminated menus the cafe provided, Oikawa kept glancing over to the cashier-area to try and find (Y/n). Iwaizumi deadpanned, sitting back in his chair nonchalantly.

“You’re acting stupid.”

“I’m being sneaky.”

“You look more suspicious than if you were to act like yourself.”

“As if you would know!” Oikawa whisper-yelled to Iwaizumi, momentarily letting his menu fall flat. “I’m trying not to get caught, unlike one of us-!”

“Hello?”

Oikawa and Iwaizumi froze. Oikawa rigidly turned to the voice, while Iwaizumi almost fell back in his seat.

There stood the boy—well, the ‘girl’, in his work apron, this time, up close. Oikawa could see the detail in his eyes, the way a few of his hairs fell onto his face and stuck because of the small layer of sweat on his forehead, even taking in the small kitty hair clip resting in his hair.

“Hu...huaai...” Oikawa breathed out. Iwaizumi bit his lip. If he started laughing now, Oikawa would tell his mom he was bullying him again.

“Hello! I was wondering if I could get you two anything to drink! No worries if you aren’t ready to order yet.”

His voice had a soft tamber to it, a warm, welcoming aura that fit the vibe of the cafe perfectly. Iwaizumi could see how Oikawa, and probably other people, could mistake him for a girl. Especially with the way he dressed and carried himself as evident to yesterday’s practice.

Iwaizumi tilted the menu infront of him up a bit. “I’ll get a small black coffee. Whabout you, Oikawa?”

When he got no response, other than the hum of acknowledgment from (Y/n), Iwaizumi looked up. Oikawa was staring dumbly at (Y/n) again, and seconds later (Y/n) was caught under his gaze. He stared back awkwardly, waiting for Oikawa to say something or at least order something, until he suddenly jolted up in pain.

Iwaizumi dug his heel deeper into Oikawa’s foot. “Say something, dumbass! Stop staring!” He hissed, covering his mouth from (Y/n) in petty attempts to mask their conversation.

“Ow! Ow! I’ll get a peppermint tea please-! Stop it!”

(Y/n) scribbled down Oikawa’s order, smiling patiently as he did. Iwaizumi removed his foot. There was a beat of silence, until Oikawa smoothly rested his chin on his hand.

“Soooo, (L/n) (Y/n)-chan, is it?” Oikawa said, as he peered at (Y/n’s) name tag. “Pretty masculine name for a cute girl like you~”

Iwaizumi choked on his spit. (Y/n) tilted his head to the side, looking up from his notepad to peer back at Oikawa.

“What...did you say?”

“Sorry, sorry!” Oikawa rubbed the back of his head cutely. “I didn’t mean to offend you. I think (Y/n) is a cute name~”

Iwaizumi didn’t know if he wanted to die from laughter or embarrassment. He was going to pop a vein trying to keep in his cackles.

“Ah. It’s the clothes, isn’t it?” (Y/n) mused. He took a step back, looking at his rather-feminine clothing choices for the day. “I understand why. I get that a lot.”

“...What does your clothes have to do with your name?” It was Oikawa’s turn to sound confused. Iwaizumi let out a few haggard, stifled snickers at his dense expression. (Y/n) raised an eyebrow.

“You...” He pointed at himself with his pen. “You do realize I’m a man, correct?”

Oikawa choked. His eyes widened as his smile cracked a bit. Iwaizumi had to hide his face in his jacket to prevent himself from bursting out into hackles. Oikawa gave a nervous smile.

“Aha...haha...funny joke..”

“I’m not joking, though...” (Y/n) smirked. He wouldn’t deny that seeing the faces of people flirting with him after he told them he had a dick was a guilty pleasure. “Want proof?”

(Y/n) grasped Oikawa’s wrist, tugging it forcefully, and moving his apron to the side. He brought it down closer to his groin until Oikawa sputtered and flailed on the table.

“No! I-I believe you! I-I can see it from here—I don’t need to touch it-!” Oikawa shrieked. Iwaizumi clutched his stomach from laughing too hard, already given up on keeping it in. He snorted loudly, choked on that snort, and erupted into a series of cough-laughs.

By the time Iwaizumi’s laugh turned into the kind where no noise came out-but it hurt in your stomach anyways—Oikawa was laying his head on the table, embarrassed, while (Y/n) chuckled along.

“You knew, Iwa-chan! You knew!” Oikawa hissed, holding his poor, abused hand. “You set me up for failure!”

“You did that to yourself.” Iwaizumi said between breaths. “He’s actually gonna start attending practice as a (position name) starting next week. We don’t have a manager after all.”

“And you got my hopes up for what?!” Oikawa cried out, making Iwaizumi snort again. (Y/n) raised his eyebrows.

“Manager?”

“Oikawa thought that when you came to drop your registration form in yesterday, that you were signing up to be a manager since he thought you were a girl. I saw your form though, so I knew but this guy here didn’t.”

Iwaizumi nudged at Oikawa, who was hiding his face in his hands. “You better be nice to him, though. He’s your new captain starting next week.”

“Ah! How fun! Having my new playboy captain flirt with me before I even join the club. ” (Y/n) mumbled, as he scribbled down something else in his notepad. Iwaizumi heckled when Oikawa whined with his head down.

He didn’t raise his head back up until a slip of paper was placed gently on top of his head. He heard a “I’ll go get your drink ready.” From (Y/n), before he looked up and noticed he was gone. He caught the slip of paper falling off his head as he sat up.

“What’s that?” Iwaizumi said lazily. Oikawa was staring giddily at the paper. He turned the paper around smugly, holding it up for Iwaizumi to read.

‘Call me. If you’re feeling fruity, that is. (xxx)-xxx-xxxx. -‘(Y/n)-chan’’

Iwaizumi stared at the neat handwriting, then back at Oikawa’s smug face.

“...Were you not just listening? He just tried to make you touch his dick? He’s a dude?”

“Eh. Cute girl, cute boy, he’s still cute~” Oikawa dreamily sighed as he watched (Y/n) make his tea behind the counter. “I’d still hit it till he breaks~”

“Pervert.”

“Says you.”

Oikawa earned a sharp thunk to the head.

——————

#haikyuu x male reader #tooru oikawa #oikawa tooru x reader #oikawa tooru x you #oikawa #oikawa x male reader #haikyuu oikawa #hq x y/n #hq x reader #hq x male reader #haikyuu fic #oikawa x femboy reader #hq iwaizumi #hq oikawa

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