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#anyway lost where i was going wow i wrote a lot of tags i doubt theyre all coherent bc its 2am im going to bed goodnighhttt xxxx
pocketramblr · 3 years
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I've noticed after a while (and many posts) that you include Fuyumi-trying-not-to-resemble-her-mother in many of your tags, and I really want to hear your thoughts on that whole character dynamic. Or how you headcannon Fuyumi in general, I'd just like to know more and I haven't seen a lot of people delve into her character. It's always one of the brothers.
*vibrates at a totally normal speed* I would love to talk about Fuyumi yes
Warning: the following headcanons contain a decent bit of projecting. Is it me being a teacher? An eldest daughter? My complicated relationship with the idea of a "traditional family"? Probably all of it
First, if you don't mind a plug, I wrote a oneshot that has like 90 percent of all my fuyumi headcanons in it, The Walls Are Thin, and so. Obvious my headcanon that she's Touya's younger twin has been disproven but I like it a lot so,,, I don't care
So, there are some things about Fuyumi that didn't make it into the anime- manga!Yumi has blue eyes like Enji and Touya, and her arm was also bandaged in the flashback soccer scene when Shoto is talking about their abusive childhood which is very interesting to me.
Now, as for Fuyumi and Rei- I don't think Fuyumi hates her mother. I don't even think she hates her mother but is ok with full reconciliation like she is with her father. But I do think they have a very complicated relationship. Rei was institutionalized when Fuyumi was eleven, and from that moment on Fuyumi basically had to take over the raising of her brothers. Fuyumi lost her mother at eleven and then had to become one herself, because Rei burned her littlest brother.
Fuyumi was a child- and here's the thing. Rei's breakdown was sudden, but not surprising. She looked bad in the flashback right before it, she was begging her own mother for help. She looked sleep deprived and skittish. So even before Rei was sent away, I don't know how much she was actually mothering Fuyumi. Shoto can't really tell us that, and Fuyumi... Doesn't seem to want to think much on her past or give flashbacks to the two of them. So when Fuyumi is eleven, is ten, is nine- she's seeing this happen to her mother as a process. Rei is fading away, and Fuyumi is right at the age to actually begin to sort of understand it and be scared.
Shoto is aware that the marriage was motivated primarily to get a quirk like his. I see no reason that Fuyumi would be unaware of this ether, even when she was younger.
A lot of mental health problems can be hereditary- I remember my mother talking to me about her health history and her own mom's health history bc there's a looooot of problems there lol but Fuyumi didnt get that. She got to see her mother stuck in a hospital for a decade for a breakdown. She got to learn in school that those kinds of things can be passed down to children just like quirks. I'd bet anything that Fuyumi is terrified of having a breakdown like that. Of being like her mother- someone who cared for children that she couldn't protect from Enji for ten years or so, then being locked away when she finally snapped.
There's also her status as only daughter- besides the fact that all the wifely duties were put on her, there are still more expectations. Touya is dead, Natsuo is so ignored he didn't need to be disowned, Shoto is primed only to be one thing: the number one hero. Fuyumi, who has been mothering since she was eleven, would be looked to first for grandchildren.
This isn't to say that Enji ever expressed a single care about that- I doubt he did. But Fuyumi's grandmother was seen in some early flashbacks. I'm not sure if that was Rei or Enji's mother, but either way... Well, she'd certainly talk about how pretty she was. How sweet. How good to her brothers now that her poor mother is away. How obedient a daughter. And even if this grandmother doesn't talk about a quirk marriage explicitly, Fuyumi knows that she either raised a man who looked for one by the age of twenty, or was wholly complicit in her daughter getting one.
Even if, logically, Fuyumi knows her father wouldn't arrange her one- either because she's more useful at the house, or he doesn't pay enough attention, or he's going through a post Kamino character development- there's the fact that she also knows It's Not Impossible. She knows that if her family is as high up as it is and utterly rotten inside, there could be lots of people like that in their social circles. There could be someone who has that sort of interest in her.
Anyway, all that gives Fuyumi some very, very complicated feelings on motherhood and marriage. I don't think she wants either. Ever. She's a teacher, so she likes to work with kids- but we know a part of that is to make up for not being able to help her little brothers. She's full of guilt. I don't think she'd ever be interested in romance or anything else with a man, after seeing how it turned on and utterly broke Rei. And while I do sometimes have Fuyumi as lesbian, I also really think she might be aroace. This adds fun spice where she asks herself things like "wait is this just my trauma or my actual identity" and haha same I'm sorry I project on her a lot anyway sorry Fuyumi,,, you deserve a happy life. A normal life. But you don't get one ♥️
And the normal life thing- that's because Fuyumi is tired. She's tired of being a mother to her brothers. She's tired of having the responsibility of parenting without any of the power or control. She wants to be treated like a normal daughter and sister. And that can't happen if her brothers, esp Natsuo who she saw even more, keeps fully crediting his raising to her. Even if it's the truth, and even if Natsuo loves their mother and had no problem with her- he certainly wouldn't claim Rei influenced him more than Fuyumi did. That's why she's so desperate specifically for him to reconcile.
And she did see Natsuo more- but I think Fuyumi is also very close to Shoto. Closer than he thinks. Not just because her first two appearances are just her trying to protect Shoto by warning him when Enji is pissed off or when he will be, though that certainly helps- she's rather attuned to that stuff, and at least sorta used to Shoto sometimes listening to her about that kind of advice. But Shoto is being shaped deliberately to basically be Enji 2.0 . He has no choice but to be a hero. He has no choice but to train hard and get strong. He's supposed to beat All Might in a rivalry. All that stuff. Fuyumi, likewise, is shaped to be Rei 2.0. Take care of the children. Be soft. Not cut out for heroics. Not able to stop Enji from doing anything. Support Shoto. Cook. Clean. Take over when the housekeeper leaves, because why hire another one when there's a fourteen, fifteen, sixteen year old who can do it? Don't go to anyone for help, because no one who can help you will believe you or want to help you.
Shoto is supposed to succeed where Endeavor failed against All Might.
Fuyumi is supposed to succeed where Rei failed in going against Enji.
And all this, in a house where "like Rei" is an insult that her father shouts- to have her mother's constitution is a terrible thing. It's why her first two brothers were failures. Being "like Rei" means you are weak, and useless, and going to break down, going to be sent away.
And Fuyumi is supposed to be "like Rei", but without any of those bad parts.
Anyway wow this is such a long post.
That's why I think Fuyumi has a complicated relationship with her mother and with her appearance! If Fuyumi had been a boy, there always would have been a housekeeper there. She could have been a big brother- a big brother overly relied on, yes, but not a father. Fuyumi is not a boy. She is "like Rei." She is like Rei, who poured boiling water on a child because he had red hair, and a blue eyes.
So I think Fuyumi looks in the mirror, and sees red lines in her hair, and blue eyes behind glasses that neither of her parents need. And I think she keeps her hair shorter than Rei, and doesn't let it hang long like her mother prefers. And I think Fuyumi looks in the mirror, and sees that she's not just exactly like one or the other of her parents- and I think she says "thank God"
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2020 IN WRITING
tagged by: @indestinatus​
tagging: no one, because I am unable to think straight. But whoever is interested in doing this: I’m interested in reading it. <3 
Wow, okay, I’m getting real in this little questionnaire... read at your own risk, friends.
1. List of works published this year:
I genuinely can’t write them all out here... there are too many of them! (I’ve done so little besides writing this year!) But I keep a running list of all my projects here. I’m sorry for cheating on this one, haha. 
2. Work you are most proud of (and why):
This question comes up a lot on these things, and I always put the same answer: That We May Forgive. It’s has emotional moments, silly moments, heartfelt moments where the warmth made me cry as I wrote. It was written in one sitting, and it’s the story where I felt most connected to the characters I love so much. It sums up the joy I feel knowing that these (fictional) friends of mine have finally reached peace after too many years of trauma and hardship. I began the story with a single line in mind, after which the characters took over and told the story for me:
Ziva's second pregnancy is nothing like her first.
3. Work you are least proud of (and why):
You Stumble, You Soar, which was written for one of my dearest friends in the world, @why-did-you-just-lie-to-mcgee​. I wanted to do so much better by her, but as I ran out of time to complete the story by the end of her birthday, I rushed the writing and I think the story suffered for it. It made her happy, though, and that’s the most important thing. She deserves all the happiness, all the time—but especially on her birthday. 
4. A favorite excerpt of your writing:
I can’t think of a favorite excerpt of my writing, because I’ve written so much that I can’t think back!
5. Share or describe a favorite review you received:
“Wow. Let me just tell you that I am absolutely in love with this story. I wake up everyday and, as I log into fanfiction, my only hope is that you've uploaded a new chapter because DAMN. The characters are so well written, the story is beautifully constructed and this last chapter just broke my heart into tiny little pieces. What a remarkable job you've done. Please, don't ever stop writing NCIS/Tiva fanfiction- specially this one story: it's one of my all time favorites. Thank you :)”
An incredibly kind and inspiring comment by a reader named Alexandra on my longest (WIP) fic, We Are an Ocean.
6. A time when writing was really, really hard:
I’ve had two periods of NCIS hiatus this year—and actually, I’m still in the midst of the second one right now. These have periods of turmoil in my own life. When I’m upset, feeling sick, feeling sorry for myself and I’m depressed and aching... that’s when I write the best, because writing is my safety blanket. When I’m feeling numb, though, or lost... the characters are lost to me, too, and so are the words I use to wrap them (and myself) in comfort.
7. A scene or character you wrote that surprised you:
I’m going to deviate here from NCIS, which is—I’m well aware—why most of my followers have chosen to follow me. But in the last month, I’ve written a single fic for Criminal Minds—it’s called In Possibility, it’s unpublished, and it’s now over 100,00 words. It’s centered on Spencer Reid, who was intimidating to me when I started writing the fic. He’s far more intelligent than I am, requiring me to do a lot of research to give him realistic lines, he’s a deep and complicated character with complicated motivations and a tangled, traumatic past. He also has a sweet, really good heart that’s been scarred by years of difficult work and an emotionally taxing personal life. 
I thought he’d be difficult to write; to my surprise, he comes as naturally to me as any of my other favorite characters ever have. He gave me my first nanowrimo win! To be frank, he’s gotten me through a lot of shit this year. That was the best surprise.
8. How did you grow as a writer this year:
To be honest, I wasn’t much of a writer before this year. I enjoyed writing, especially in a roleplay setting with fandom friends... but I deeply struggled with trying to write alone. I didn’t do much of it.
Then, this year, well... the concept of writing exploded into the most important distraction, escape, and joy I could imagine. 
I didn’t grow as a writer this year. I became a writer this year.
9. How do you hope to grow next year:
My most recent project—the one that, as I’ve said, is (and will remain) unpublished—has given me a new perspective. It’s written for an audience of me and only me... so I’ve given myself permission to engage in the most ridiculously self-indulgent writing I’ve ever embraced and thrown myself into. 
And it has been the greatest joy I could imagine in a time of great pain.* 
Next year, I want to throw myself into every project I work on with as much reckless abandon as I’ve done in this last project. I want to stop worrying so much about what people will think and pursue the words that are bursting out of the fingers on my laptop keyboard. I want to have confidence in my ability to draw out emotions—if from no one else, at least from myself.
“If I can stop one heart from breaking, I shall not live in vain.” —Emily Dickinson
And it’s alright if that one heart is mine.
That’s what I want to accomplish in my writing next year, and what a growth that would be!
* I’ve mentioned this in my last post, but I’m recovering from brain surgery, I also have the COVID-19 virus, and I’m working on passing a kidney stone that may be too big to pass. I’m writing 10,000 words a day to get through it—and it’s working. Distraction is everything to me right now.
10. Who was your greatest positive influence this year as a writer (could be another writer or beta or cheerleader or muse etc etc):
Like Sof, I have to tag three people here, because I really couldn’t choose just one. My three best friends in the world all influenced my writing in their own ways! <3 (Sorry for deviating a little from the writing thing in some of the following lines, oops. I just have emotions that are all over the place this week!)
@indestinatus — One of a few best friends who has had my back every day for so long now. She listens when I need to talk things out—whether or not I’m talking about writing. She really gets me when I need to be silly, or I need to be serious, or I just really, really need a friend. Also, she inspired me to start learning Portuguese this year, and I’m actually practicing by writing a fic in Portuguese, lol. It’s slow going... but Sof encourages me (and corrects me, haha) whenever I work on it, just as she does with absolutely anything else I work on. Truly, I’ve had few friends in my life that are so special to me, and I love her. I really do. 
@why-did-you-just-lie-to-mcgee — Is there a better cheerleader on this earth? Is there a better friend? Doubtful on both counts. She thinks I’m a disaster—and, by the way, she’s absolutely right—and she sometimes has to remind me to eat and sleep, but she’s totally cool with being my internet mom. Doesn’t matter that she’s nearly a decade younger than I am, lol. All of these things have bolstered me when the writer inside of me has faltered, and she has carried my burdens as I wrote them out. Anyway, she reads everything I write, and she has requested to gain access to all of my unfinished chapters and unpublished works in the event that I die—I completely trust her with that nonsense. I’ve written it into my will. Really. Like with Sof, I genuinely love Tiz, and I’d do anything for her. 
@honeybadgerdocare — Best friend of 20 years. She doesn’t watch the same shows that I do, and my endless ranting makes very little sense to her... but she listens. She’s my sounding board for everything I write, everything I read, everything I watch, and everything that gives me big feelings. I genuinely can’t describe how much she has helped me with my writing every single day, so I’ll leave it at this: I could not do it without her. I’d drown in my own struggles and I’d stop creating the art that sustains me. She’s my soulmate—sorry to her fiancé. All of my love goes to her!
11. Anything from your real life show up in your writing this year:
HAHAHAHAHA it’s cute how you think my writing is anything other than a re-organized and fictionalized version of my life and my feelings. Real life shows up in my writing, and my writing shows up in my real life. It gets crazy and obsessive, but like... I had a trip to Israel booked this year (obviously canceled due to the pandemic, but still) because Ziva comes from Israel. (Also because of my Jewish adoration for the spiritual homeland, but the thought of going and the trip planning all started with Ziva.) I went to Baltimore so I could run down an alley yelling “YOU CAN’T OUTRUN ME, I’M WEARING TUBE SOCKS!” to encourage my inner Tony DiNozzo. I nearly froze to death in Washington, D.C. and called my mom every time I saw a little red mini coop that looked like Ziva’s, or came across a place that was featured in an NCIS scene.
And to answer the actual question here, because I obviously flipped it around like the moron I am... when the pandemic canceled things I was desperately looking forward to, I wrote a fic where Tali’s excitedly anticipated dance recital got canceled because of the pandemic. I lost my appendix (last year, but the fic was written this year — does that count?) and wrote a fic where Tali loses hers, too. (I swear, I don’t always write things that torture Tali, lol, these are just my best examples!) When I lost a couple of loved ones this year, I wrote a funeral scene where Tony and Tali remembered Ziva. Writing is definitely free therapy, y’all.
12. Any new wisdom you can share with other writers:
Write for yourself—write what you love, and you’ll love what you write. That’s all. That’s it. That’s my advice, something I’ve learned this year.
13. Any projects you’re looking forward to starting (or finishing) in the new year:
I’ve been working on We Are an Ocean for roughly a year now, and 2021 needs to see it finished. I’ve got a number of lovely, dedicated readers who deserve to see the story play out as it’s intended to be played out. 
Also, my greatest love right now, In Possibility, will probably write itself to an end in 2021. Or... who knows? Maybe it will worm its way into 2022, too. :-)
14. If you could recommend only one work from yourself published this year:
Since I already went into detail about my favorite fic of mine from this year (That We May Forgive), I’ll recommend a different one: The Stars Always Make Me Laugh. It has some of the darkest moments I’ve ever written, but it also has some of the lightest moments I’ve ever written. It was an answer to two different challenges, and if I can say this without sounding arrogant, I think I met the challenges beautifully. It gave me comfort, catharsis, and closure for a few things in my own life... and I hope it comforts my readers, too. 
15. Year word count: 
HOLY FUCKING SHIT (excuse my French). I just added up my AO3 word count + my current unpublished project, and... my word count is:
428,557.
FOUR HUNDRED AND TWENTY-EIGHT THOUSAND, FIVE HUNDRED AND FIFTY SEVEN WORDS
I nearly just fell out of my chair. Goodbye, friends. I am deceased.
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spectraspecs-writes · 4 years
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Korriban - Chapter 89
Link to the masterpost. Chapter 88. Chapter 90.
@averruncusho @ceruleanrainblues @chubbsmomma @strangepostmiracle thank you for reading, you get a tag. @skelelexiunderlord thank you for support, you get a tag.
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“What do you mean? We have to go see him right now!” Carth objects.
“I get where you’re coming from, Carth, but if he recognizes me and thinks I followed him, we’ll immediately get off on the wrong foot, and he won’t listen to a single thing we have to say.” He scoffs angrily and wipes his face. “You’re a soldier, you’re not used to thinking this way. But I am, I know how to get people to listen to me. You have to trust me on this, Carth.”
He looks at me for a bit, and then he sighs. “I trust you,” he says, “I just don’t like it.”
I pull out my datapad and look at the Academy map. Master Uthar’s room is at the end of the hall. That’s where I’m going. “I’m going to set up the device from Yuthura. Then we can go talk to him. You want to be my lookout?”
“Yeah,” he says with a sigh, “Gives me something to do.”
“You watch the room,” Jolee says, “I’ll watch the hall.”
Got all our bases covered, then. We head out. Jolee posts himself in the hall, watching people go from the rooms to the main chamber where Master Uthar still is. Carth and I head the other way. We pass the hallway where Dustil’s room is, and I gently pull Carth away. At the end of the main hall is Uthar’s room, the only door down this far. It opens with the passcard Yuthura gave me. Carth posts himself outside the door while I go inside. I carefully lift up the mattress on Uthar’s bed and place the device on the frame, where it secures itself. Hard to believe it’s that easy.
There’s a datapad sitting next to Uthar’s bed. I’m willing to bet there’s a lot of information about how to gain prestige on there. I pull out my datapad and set it to interface with any within range. Damn - Uthar has most entries locked. I can only get the last week’s worth of data. Even so, there’s quite a lot of information here for a week’s worth. Some of it is absolutely worthless. Some of it, not so much, even just from a quick perusal. No time to sit here and read the whole thing. I’ve done what I came here to do, I should leave. I lock the door behind me, still reading the contents of the scan. There’s an entry on - 
“Dustil.” Carth leans over my shoulder. “His name’s on there, what are you looking at?”
“I skimmed Uthar’s personal datapad, only got a week’s worth of data. Would you quit reading over my shoulder?” I send to Jolee that we’re finished and he joins us. I tap into the entry, out of my own curiosity, not Carth’s.
“The pupil known as Dustil,” Uthar wrote, “has shown remarkable progress. His talent with the Force is great.” Is that so? Neat. “The same, however, cannot be said for the human female that he arrived with, Selene.” I heard that name in the library, she died recently, in the Valley, Dustil said. “She has little talent. Moreover, Dustil holds a great degree of affection for her.” I thought so. “This is a weakness in the boy and has been slowing down his training. Orders were sent this morning to have the girl removed from the academy and terminated.” A far cry from “killed in the Valley.” “I will tell Dustil that she was killed in the valley. He will forget her soon enough, I think… he is too promising to lose at this juncture."
“Oh, wow,” I say softly. Carth is too focused to hear me.
The door to Dustil’s room is open as he uses his computer terminal. His eyes drift up to me in the doorway and he does a bit of a double take. “You take a wrong turn somewhere?” he asks. His voice even has the same inflections as Carth.
Carth gets a look at him, gaping in shock. “Dustil?”
Dustil is… not pleased, to put it mildly. “Oh, lovely,” he says sarcastically, “It's Father. Figures that you'd show up after all this time.” He looks at me as Carth and I come into the room. Jolee stands outside still. “How did you manage to get inside the academy?”
“Through the front door,” I say reflexively.
“Cute.” Yep, that’s Carth’s son. “I wonder how interested Master Uthar would be to know just who he has in his web. Unless you've switched sides, Father?” Dustil scoffs. “But I doubt that. Just why are you here, Father?” he asks skeptically, “Not for me, I hope. Couldn't you have gotten yourself blown up on some ship and spared us this reunion?” Ouch.
“Dustil, what…?” Carth stammers, “What are you talking about? I… I thought you were dead!”
“Too bad you didn't still think that,” he scoffs, “Or did you really think I would be happy to see you? Look, everyone!” he says sarcastically, “It's Father, come to rescue me at long last! Sure, he may have left Mother and I to die on Telos, but that doesn't matter!”
“No, I didn't abandon you!” Carth protests painfully, “The task force just arrived too late. Telos was in ruins, and your mother… I held her while…” I place my hand on his shoulder to comfort him, but he shrugs it off. He doesn’t want to be comforted. “But I looked for you. I swear I looked everywhere --”
“Ah, save it,” Dustil stops him, “You abandoned us long before. We were alone all during the wars, and even once you came back, you still didn't stay.”
“I didn't have a choice! I was needed --”
“Yeah? Well you were needed at home, too!” Dustil interrupts, “You were needed when the bombing started and I got captured!” I can feel his anger rising and when you’re in the room with a Sith, that’s a big problem. They’re known to take their lightsabers out when that happens. I rest my own hand on my lightsaber. I won’t kill Dustil if I don’t have to but I’ll be damned if if he’s going to kill my Bunny Man. But then his anger fades a little, which is weird for a Sith. “You know what? It doesn't matter,” he says, “Not anymore. I have a new family now, a family that cares about me. I don't need you.”
Carth’s heart drops. “The Sith? You can't mean that! No, the Sith killed your mother! The Sith destroyed Telos!”
“So? You're the soldier, father. How many mothers have you killed?” Ouch! Sounds like the Sith added a course in verbal bashing.
Carth doesn’t want to believe a single word of this - I’ve only ever seen him like this when he was yelling at me. “No,” he says, “You've been brainwashed. The son I knew would never --”
“You never knew me!” I draw my lightsaber off my belt but I don’t activate it. His anger is rising again. I don’t like that. “You weren't even there to know me, so don't presume to tell me what I would or wouldn't do!”
“I don’t know what’s been done to you, but you're coming with me out of here. Now.”
Carth reaches out to Dustil, but Dustil backs away and puts his hand on his lightsaber. “Touch me, old man, and I'll kill you!” Carth withdraws. God, I can feel his pain. He feels like hell. “Get out! Get out of here before I tell the Sith that you're here!”
“Calm down, Dustil.” I stay between the two of them. “Carth is only trying to protect you.”
“I don't need his protection!” he exclaims, “Not anymore! The Sith give me everything I need.”
Carth gently shoves me out of the way - gently for an angry Carth, anyway - and I let him. “You can't mean that!” he says, “The Sith are… they're evil! They're the Dark Side. They… they took me away from you and your mother. They're… they're what took you from me!”
“No, they're not evil! They're not! The Dark Side is superior, and you… you were at war long before they came along!”
“The Sith war to conquer, to rule the helpless,” Carth counters, “I went to war for you, Dustil. For your freedom, your future!”
Dustil shakes his head. “I don’t believe you.”
“If I failed you, son, then it's… it's my failure,” Carth says, “Please don't add to it by becoming part of something evil.”
I know how stubborn Carth can be when it comes down to it, so it only makes sense that Dustil would be the same. I can’t imagine who would give in first. “Prove it,” Dustil says, “Prove that the Sith are so evil and I'll… I'll think about it.”
The datapad. I pull it back out. “How about this - you know someone named Selene?”
He stops completely. He didn’t expect me to talk, expected even less for me to mention her name. “Selene?” he repeats softly, “She's the one who convinced me to come to the academy with her. Why?” I pull up the entry and hand my datapad to him. “Where did you get this?” he asks as he reads it.
“I skimmed Master Uthar’s datapad - you can see his data in the file tags,” I say, “You can’t fake that.”
He checks the tags, sees the data. “But…” he says slowly, unable to take his eyes off the datapad, “he told me… he- he said that she'd been lost on a mission in the Valley. This…  this says that they… they killed her…” 
“Because she was hindering your progress,” I finish.
“Superiority at any cost, Dustil,” Carth says, “There's your evil. Or can you live with that?”
“No,” Dustil says, without a moment of hesitation, “No, I can't. I… I had no idea… they lied to me.”
Carth smiles softly. “Well, there's the son I remember,” he says, “Now will you leave here?”
“I… no,” Dustil says, “You go do whatever you have to, father. I… I have some other friends here. I have to warn them what's going on.” He smiles softly at Carth. “And maybe I can, you know, look around here and find out some more information. From the inside. Something that might help you.”
Carth sighs shortly. “I… don't suppose there's any way I could talk you out of that, is there? I mean, you're not going to do anything halfway.” He chuckles. “Sounds familiar.”
“I… guess it does.”
“I'm proud of you, Dustil,” Carth says, “You aren't hanging onto a lie after you see it for what it is. Not everyone could do that.”
Dustil smiles again. “Maybe…” he starts to say, “… after this is over, we can… talk. I'm still not sure about… us, but I'll listen. Maybe we can get back to where we should have been.”
“I’d like that.” Carth eyes are glistening.
Dustil transfers the entry from my datapad to his and hands mine back to me. “I'll go back to Telos when this is over,” he says, “You can find me there. Goodbye… father.” He moves past us out the door and down the hall, moving quickly.
Carth wipes his eyes. “I’m really glad that worked out,” I say.
Carth doesn’t say anything. He looks at me, and he can’t stop smiling. “What?” I ask.
And suddenly he kisses me. Knocks the wind right out of me! Oh, wow! When he breaks he says softly, “Thank you.”
Holy fuck!
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thequeenofadream · 5 years
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Dancing in the moonlight (Roger Taylor x Reader)
Summary: you’re an up and coming artist who could need some more coverage so your management decides to pair you in a fake relationship with the one and only Roger Taylor. how will things go when things get not so fake?
Words: 4,025
Notes: swearing, fluff, angst but blink and you’ll miss it.
A/N:  there’s a lot of movie references here most obviously to all the boys i’ve loved before haha anyways at this point everything i touches flops so idk but hey i love you all anyways <333 also i spent like five hours on this wow kill me
🎀 tagging: @obsessedwithrogertaylor @malekdarling @i-padfootblack-things
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Dancing in the moonlight. It sounds like such an aesthetic and romantic venture, but has anyone stopped to think about it? Two people dancing in the dark of night with only a glimmer of light to guide their way. It sounds terrifying. What if you trip? What if you get lost? To most it would sound like a enchanted moment to share with the one you truly love, but to you it sounded like bullshit. Dancing in the moonlight was something to good to be true, especially when you had no choice.
That was all you could think about when your manager had instructed that you get into a PR relationship to promote your next album. You weren't unknown, you had a management team afterall, but you could certainly use more coverage. You weren't one for partying all night so that could explain some things, but you weren't a complete prude. The media, however ran with that. You thought it was stupid and most importantly disingenuous. You didn't want fans who only payed attention to you because of who you were dating. You had strongly protested against it, but your label approved of it and quickly found someone to be your ‘other half’. You were sitting on a sofa in an office waiting for your so called ‘boyfriend’ to arrive reading the morning’s headlines.
ROGER TAYLOR IN KINKY GAMES WITH FLAKE GIRL.
You rolled your eyes. Roger Taylor, drummer of queen, was quite the guy. All you could ever hear of him was his risqué escapades and one night stands. You didn't necessarily hate him with a burning passion, but you were annoyed by him. He didn't seem like the kind of guy you'd become  friends with. His lifestyle didn't really coincide with yours. You were much more reserved and quiet compared to his adventurous personality.
You looked up at the clock and back at your manager sitting in the chair across you. He was 30 minutes late.
“good thing he isn't my real boyfriend.” you scoffed, and rolled your eyes showing your annoyance.
“Cut him some slack, (Y/N). “ Your manager, Hera, spoke, pleadingly. You had become good friends and you trusted her for what was good for you career wise. It was just this one time that you were doubting her choice.
The door flew open and out came a middle aged man first and the blonde drummer you had just seen in the paper. You eyed him up and down and could in fact admit that he did look quite handsome and charming. His blonde hair complimented baby blue eyes, how the beach sand compliments an ocean's waves. His physique wasn't toned, but he wasn't a complete stick figure either.
Roger caught you staring at him and raised an eyebrow.
“I didn't think I would catch the ‘polite and innocent’ (Y/N) staring at me.” He smirked sitting down on the spot next to you on the couch. You rolled your eyes setting the newspaper down on the coffee table.
“I can be the impolite (Y/N), if you'd like.” You retorted crossing your arms. Roger was about to respond when the middle aged man spoke up.
“Okay, please stop bickering. We have some work to do.”
Hera just nodded along and you sighed deeply. It seemed like Roger was clueless to what was happening due to his puzzled expression.
“Okay, Jim what exactly is going on?” He asked giving into the curiosity.
“The folks over at trident think you've been way too risqué lately. They want you to have a PR relationship to cover some of it up.” He said picking up the newspaper you were once reading. He handed it to Roger and pointed to the headline.
He grit his teeth, reading through the article. He didn't understand what was so bad. They were a rock band for fuck’s sake, not a bible choir. Suddenly the gears in his mind l started to click and he put two and two together. He looked at you and then Jim and back to you.
“I’m gonna be with you?” He gasped, pointing a finger at you accusitoringly. You didn't understand why he was overreacting so much. I mean you didn't like it either, but you didn't go and point fingers at anyone.
“Yeah, problem?” You asked, almost too defensively. He sat back and pinched the bridge of his nose, clearly frustrated. The man you now knew as Hera chimed in trying to state the positives of the situation.
“Look, you'll both get to show to the media the other side of yourselves. (Y/N), you can show them that you're not the prude they think you are and Roger, you can show them that you're also a charming young man who doesn't take women for granted.”
“But I don’t-”
“We know Rog, but that's how the public perceives it.” Jim interrupted him with the harsh truth.
Roger let out the deepest sigh you've ever heard and took out a pack of cigarettes.
“I’m going for a smoke.” He exited into the alleyway, lighter and cigarette in hand. Jim sighed and went into the hallway, not knowing how to handle Roger. Hera went after him, trying to bring some comfort.
You just sat there, watching everything unfold. You couldn't really do anything against it so you just watched him storm out, but you could get what he's feeling. You decided to go after him and try to sympathise. You entered the alleyway to see him with a lit cigarette hanging loosely from his lips. His back was leaning against the wall. He immediately sees you and takes a long drag, before huffing out the smoke in his lungs.
“What do you want?” He asked, his eyes full of spite.
“I just wanted to say, I don't want to do this either.” You spoke softly, now wanting him to get any more stressed.
“Of course, you wouldn't.” He mocks you.
“I bet you were the one who suggested this whole thing.” He went on throwing his hands up.
Anger started bubbling up within you, and you had to restrain yourself from slapping some sense into him. To say you suggested this was an absolute insult to you.
“Look Roger.” You paused and smiled sarcastically.
“Do you really think I'd want to be pretending to share intimate moments with someone i barely know? No. I’d much rather spend time to myself, writing music. I find this whole thing dishonest and I don't want to lie my way to the top. I want to do things I’ll be proud of.”
Roger stopped for a moment and looked at you, his blue eyes gleaming into your (E/C) ones.
“I know, I'm sorry.” He dropped his cigarette and squashed it into the floor. He ran a hand through his hair, trying to find the words to say.
“I know it seems like I don't care much, but I want other people to see that I'm an artist as well. I want them to know for my music, not the women I’ve shagged.” He says, finally letting out his emotions.
You were now apathetic to man you swore you couldn't befriend. You saw how the media portrayed him and you were glad you weren't in his position. I mean sure he could pretend to not care and ignore it, but deep down inside, he cared a lot.
“Okay, here me out.”
“Hearing you out.”
You leaned sideways against the wall before continuing. “We both want the same thing, we're both being forced to do this and we both want a change of perspective. Can't we work together? ” You suggested.
“I mean of course, but how?” both your minds tried to figure out how you would handle the situation of being together. An idea popped into your head and you took Roger’s hand and dragged him inside.
“Hey, hey where are we going?” He asked as you brought him back into the office. You let go of his hand and went behind the desk to look for some pen and paper. You laid them both out and the desk as Roger sat down on the other side of the desk.
“We have to set boundaries.” You said taking the paper and writing down a rule. You put it back down and Roger took it reading what you written down.
“No sex?”
“Listen if I’m gonna do it, I wanna do it with someone I really do love.” You said handing him the pen.
“Fair enough.” He said writing down something else on the paper. You peeked over to see what he was writing.
“But we have to at least make the public believe that we're head over heels with each other.”
You saw what he wrote and it said PDA. You cringed at the thought, but he was right. You might as well get over it.
“Fine.”
“Aw, come on. I’m not a bad kisser. In fact maybe you'll find out later.” He winked which sent a shiver down your spine. You tried not to make your blushing evident, but it very much was. Roger like making you flustered, and would plan to do so in this fake relationship.
“Okay, no wait” You stumbled over your words before finally forming a cohesive sentence.
“One more rule, we tell no one. No bandmates, parents, sisters, brother, friends. Got it?” You wrote it down while Roger watched. You signed your name at the bottom the very bottom signifying your agreement. You looked back up and stuck out your hand waiting for him to take it.
“Just one person please.” He begged profusely. You thought about it and figured there was no use arguing with him. You were both agreeing on things and you had take the seize the opportunity.
“Okay, okay.” You said as he took your hand. He took the pen and added ‘except one person’ on the last rule.
“Now sign the paper.”
“Are you serious?”
“Just do it.”
You pestered him and slapped his shoulder playfully. He raised his hands defensively, giving in.  He signed at the bottom and it was done. You stuck the paper in your pocket and this was where your fake relationship started.
It was a month into your ‘infatuation’ with one another and the masses were eating it up. You were both showing your more romantic sides and quickly became quite a power couple. People were quick to forget both of your pasts to focus on the your ever blooming relationship. It was so believable that eventually you both had been invited to parties together.
As you got to closer to him, you saw past the flirtatious jokes and alcohol fuelled activities, and saw the music devoted, passionate drummer. You tried to tell yourself you weren’t falling for him, but it was far too late. On the other hand, he also started to see your less innocent side which was not as innocent as he thought.
“So (Y/N), what’s the most romantic thing Roger has done so far?” Freddie asked smiling at you both from across the dinner table. Roger brought you to dinner with the boys as to introduce you to one another. It was going pretty well and you quite like them. They were fun to be around and they feeling seemed to mutual.
“Hm.. I don’t know Fred.” You thought deeply of an excuse, when you realized it was your time to fluster Roger as he usually does.
“Well, there as this one night where roger came to my flat and woke me up in the middle of the night and surprised me with a box.” You paused looking to see Rog’s reaction was currently nothing. He sat back to see how you would fair.
“The box he had was a decoupage of his face and hearts. I was still hazy so I had not had a clue what was going on, so honestly I thought either I was going mad or Rog was absolutely pissed.” Brian and John had started chuckling whilst Fred listened on intently.
“I opened the box and saw a toy car inside, which Roger proceeded take and told me that i’m in love with my car was about me. I was obviously shocked and still half asleep so I told him to fuck off and went back to sleep.” Everyone at the table, but roger laughed, you included. He just pouted trying to look enraged, but ended up looking like a cute kid who just got embarrassed.
“I knew it couldn’t possibly be about a car.” Brian said in between laughs.
“I mean he locked himself in a cupboard.”
Everyone continued to laugh making jokes based off the encounter whilst Roger just waited for everyone to shut the fuck up. He obviously couldn’t protest, but he was pissed. You started feeling guilty for the partially blind melon and decided to boost his ego the slightest bit. When things started to die down, you spoke up.
“Although I will say, that morning i did show him how to fuck off.”
You winked at Roger and his jaw just fell, leaving his mouth agape. He had never heard you say something with even the slightest hint of suggestiveness. You just giggled at him, seeing how surprised he was by your little comment.
“That sounds about right.” Fred raising his eyebrow.
Later on when everyone had left and you and Roger were the only ones left. He asked you about it.
“So what happened to no sex?”
“I didn’t say we could pretend.” You said sipping more of the champagne you had. Roger just shook his head not knowing how to feel, turned on or turned on. He was starting to wish things weren’t pretend.
You had become quite good friends behind the scenes so acting like a couple was becoming less and less of a drag, but your label would always find some way to exaggerate your relationship by creating elaborate plots that would surely catch the media’s eye.
“You want Rog to fake save me from drowning in the ocean?”
They were trying to make Roger seem like some hero type character and you were some damsel in distress; you both responded in ways that got you in trouble. Bottom line, you saved Roger from fake drowning in the ocean. For a label named after the weapon of the God of sea, they didn’t have much control what happened out on that beach.
This incident however sparked numerous others that the management did NOT like.
What you and Roger did was basically do the opposite of what they’d say. If they had told you to go to a new movie premiere together and start some fight only to end up in some passionate make out session in front everyone, you’d go to either yours or roger’s flat and watch whatever movie was on. It was something you both took deep pleasure in for the purpose of fucking over the management and having a good time.
“This is so much better compared to mingling with whoever the fuck the whole night.” You said throwing a popcorn into your mouth. Roger just laughed at you in amusement. He couldn’t believe how laid back you had become because of him. He was proud in a way.
“True.” He smiled as you rest your head on his shoulder. The movie carries on until quite an emotional scene broke out between the protagonist. In that moment a scary thought entered your mind, unannounced and you didn’t know how to react but to blurt it out.
“So what happens when this is all over?” You asked looking up at him, scared to see what he would say. “Well we’ll still be friends for sure.” He said taking some popcorn from the bowl you held. You looked him eye to trying to set it to a more serious tone.
“I’m serious Roger. Do you promise?” You asked as he looked at you, your eyes filled with dread. He smiled soft, knowing exactly how to put you at ease.
“(Y/N), I could never forget you even if I tried. I don’t think I could even go a minute without thinking of you.”
All these little things you did, only hastened your attachment to him. If you could hold onto him for the rest of your life, you would.
You were in love and it was as if a wrecking ball had just wrecked your heart a million times over.
About seven months in, they had called you both in to the very same office this all started. The room was silent and you sense something horrible was about to happen. Unfortunately, you were correct.
“You both have to break up.”
The CEO said firmly as you both sat opposite him. You were going to protest, but the man who was your boss laid out the rules very quickly. He didn’t want to see you together ever again.
You couldn’t even hear what he was saying after he had said you couldn’t see each other anymore. Your vision went blurry and you didn’t know how the both of you were gonna handle this. You wondered what would happen to your friendship. Was your chance at a real relationship crushed for good? You didn’t know and that was what scared you most.
You were miserable. It was as if you and Roger were finally finding your way when stumbled and fell. You were sure you wanted him more, you didn’t have to pretend to love him. You were in love with him, you knew it by heart. You wanted tell the whole world you loved him and you could only wish he would love you in the same way. You could die happily in his arms, but right now you could die period.
The little meeting ended and he left you two in the room to say your goodbyes. The silence was thick just like in the beginning. A billion thoughts were running through your minds so it was understandable. You were about to speak up when Roger beat you to it.
“Well, It was nice knowing you (Y/N), but I guess our time in a fake relationship is up.”
He stood up and left the room, leaving you to it. You would have gone a followed him, but you were too much in the state of shock to do say. You couldn’t believe that he had just done that after everything the both of you had been through. He just threw every memory you shared as if it were nothing. Tears started to streak down your cheeks as you heard the door open. Hera saw you crying your eyes out and immediately deducted what had happened.
“Fell for him?”
“Yeah.”
“I thought you weren’t going to.”
“Me too.”
You had tried to forget him, despite all the polaroids the you had posted around your flat. You didn’t want to take them down just yet, but you couldn’t stand to see his face. He kept you alive, but killed you softly all at the very same time. You would laze around your flat the whole day and spend the night on the sofa the whole night mindlessly watching whatever came on.
You felt as if all the life had just been sucked out of you. You didn’t see any point in living. You were merely an empty vessel among other vessels.
The news about your break up had been a headliner for about 3 days now and you couldn’t care what anyone thought anymore. You threw all newspapers you received in the bin, as soon as you saw your and roger’s name. Fred and John had come over with some chocolates and flowers feeling immense pity. They had even offered to take you out, but you couldn’t not in the state of mind you were in. Brian had also sent over a homemade loaf of bread which was really random but appreciated nonetheless.
You were doing your usual routine one night when a knock came from the door. You grumbled, getting up from your comfy seat. You sauntered towards the door, slowly and groggily as the knocking went on. You opened the door the see the devil himself, Roger.
You were shocked and on impulse, you slapped him hard.
It created a loud sound you were sure the whole complex heard, but you didn’t bother at this moment. He just stood there with his eyes wide open, holding the cheek you had slapped.
“oUch.”
He said rubbed it over again being in unbearable pain. You rolled your eyes not knowing what else he could possibly want. You stepped aside, letting him come inside and glared at him as he came in. “Sit down, I’ll get you an ice pack.” You said walking to kitchen and opening the fridge. Roger sat down on the sofa, the same sofa where you would both hang out with one another, snuggling against the cold.
Meanwhile, Roger was afraid for what was about to happen. He didn’t mean to just leave you hanging, but he didn’t want start a fight and get you into bigger trouble, so he and the rest of the queen just decided to leave the record label. They had all agreed they were shit. He didn’t mean to ignore you in the meantime, but it seems like he has fucked up big time. He got caught up in everything he was doing for you that he forgot you, yourself.
You came back with an ice pack and held it against his cheek, until he did it himself. You finally composed yourself and asked.
“Roger, what the fuck?”
“I deserved the slap, but I can explain further, if you’d let me..” He said raising his hand defensively in case you would strike again. You laid against the sofa armrest and crossed your arms.
“It better be damn good.”
“I didn’t want to get you in trouble so the band and I left the label. I know you said we could only tell one person, but I had to tell them so that they’d understand. I mean we were gonna leave them anyways ” You looked away, your expression softening.
“What I’m trying to say is that when I said our fake relationship was up, I meant it. I want our fake relationship to over.” You looked back at him, and took his cheek in your hand, removing the ice pack and placing your palm against his cheek.
“What do you want then, Rog?” You asked, the icy glaze you once had melted into empathy.
“I want our real relationship to start.”
He closed the gap between the both of you and kissed you like he never had before. You had both kissed many times in the past, but this one felt real, genuine and so much better. It wasn’t a show you had to put up for anyone. It was a moment to be shared by the both of you ONLY. Your lips were soft against his, and he instantly felt the sorrow and pain you had been through the past days, but all that was forgotten when he kissed you so sweetly. You felt like a volcano of flower petals had just erupted and you both were in the midst of it. You both pulled away to breathe for a second.
“I really really love you (Y/N).” He took your hand and intertwined it with his.
“Roger Meddows Taylor, you have no idea.”
So Maybe you were wrong. Maybe dancing in the moonlight was as romantic as it sounded. There were risks and dangers, but they all paid off. You just needed to have trust in one another, that was it. You needed to let fate do its thing and lead you to him as it led him to you. You just needed to trust that everything was going to be alright. You couldn’t trust yourself to fall in love, but now you did.
You were no longer dancing in the moonlight, but you were dancing in the sun and Roger was your sunshine.
~~~~~~~~~
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makeste · 5 years
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BnHA Chapter 118: The One Who Caused All Might’s End
Previously on BnHA: KACCHAN AND DEKU!!!!!!! ALONE! AT NIGHT!! KACCHAN WAS ALL “I KNOW ALL MIGHT GAVE YOU HIS QUIRK” AND DEKU WAS ALL “YEAH, WELL!... SO WHAT!” AND KACCHAN WAS ALL “WELL DUH THAT MEANS I WANT TO FIGHT YOU BECAUSE ALL MIGHT’S REALLY GREAT, SO IF HE GAVE YOU HIS POWER THEN YOU MUST BE REALLY GREAT TOO AND MAYBE I WAS WRONG THIS WHOLE TIME, SO LET’S FIGHT” AND I ALL BUT FELL OUT OF MY CHAIR. AND THEN KACCHAN DOVE AT HIM AND JUST PLOPPED HIM WITH A BIG OL’ RIGHT HOOK SAME AS ALWAYS AND DEKU TOTALLY FELL FOR IT AND KACCHAN WAS LIKE “LOL” AND THEN HE WAS LIKE “BRING IT” AND ALL OF A SUDDEN ALL MIGHT’S FACE WAS THERE AND WOW!!! BNHA, GUYS!!! IT’S A GOOD MANGA I LIKE IT A LOT!!!!!
(ETA: just a reminder that I write the “previously on” things immediately after I first read the chapter while it’s still fresh in my mind. I'd say this particular one captured my emotional state at the time pretty well.)
Today on BnHA: Aizawa’s ponytail makes its debut and it’s everything I could have ever hoped for. Also he gets a call from U.A.’s robot security about his two problem children having a fight on Ground Beta after curfew. But before he can head out to stop them, ~A MYSTERIOUS SHADOW~ greets him outside and who could that be, I wonder. Back at Ground Beta, Deku tries to talk Kacchan down and avoids his attacks while Kacchan grows increasingly desperate. Finally he breaks down completely and fucking screams at Deku to fight him, and reveals that he blames himself for being the reason All Might retired, and that he can’t stop thinking about it, and he doesn’t know what to do. So basically he’s a mess, and there are feels strewn about all over the damn place, and Deku -- who never could turn his back on someone who needs saving -- realizes that he has to fight back, because right now he’s the only person who can help.
(As always, all comments not marked with an ETA are my unspoiled reactions from my first readthrough of this chapter. I’ve read up through chapter 151 now, so any ETAs will reflect that. I’m not gonna make any progress this week; I’m too busy writing Kacchan essays and waiting for the holidays to wind down lol.)
“A Meaningless Fight” not to me it’s not
lol the security camera caught them putzing around after hours. and identified their homeroom teacher and notified him
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DALSHFKALSDFKSLHKDL THE PONYTAIL!!!!!!????
THIS MUST BE WHERE THE ANIME WAS AT WHEN I FIRST STARTED READING. NO WONDER TUMBLR WAS AWASH WITH BAKUDEKU FEELS AND AIZAWA PONYTAIL SPAM. THIS IS AMAZING I LOVE LIFE
(ETA: yeah so this episode aired on September 15th, right when I was in the middle of reading the Sports Festival arc and the series was slowly beginning to take over my life. there were indeed a ton of gifs and reaction posts floating around, and I’m pretty sure this was right about when I realized it was time to block the “bnha spoilers” tag until I was fully caught up.)
now Aizawa’s stepping outside, but someone’s out there already. IS IT ALL MIGHT AND HE’S GONNA BE ALL “DON’T WORRY I GOT THIS”?
(ETA: it is indeed, and this means that All Might already knew the boys were fighting even before Aizawa did, even though Aizawa was the one who got the security alert. I’m only half-joking about him having some kind of tracking device implanted on Deku. it’s either that, or just some crazy good dad instincts. either way, one can’t help but be impressed.)
whoever it is, Aizawa seems surprised to see them
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boy and I thought the last chapter was good. but barely two pages into this one and we’ve not only got Aizawa’s sexy ponytail, but also
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(ETA: the smoke really adds to the effect here. does so throughout the whole chapter, in fact. Kacchan has such a cinematic quirk)
I stan one (1) amazing and incredible manga series
Deku’s asking again do they really have to fight. he clearly would rather talk it out instead. because like, apparently that’s suddenly an option that’s on the table after all this time?? KACCHAN IS CAPABLE OF TALKING ABOUT HIS FEELINGS, WHO EVEN KNEW?
Kacchan’s impatiently doing that explodey hand thing, but Deku’s gonna try and talk this one out anyway
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but Kacchan’s attacking again
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aahhhhhhhh META PART TWO!!!
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somehow they look even younger in these flashbacks?? like this Deku cannot fucking be older than two. how do they even remember all this??
he’s screaming at Deku to fight him back and not just run away
more flashbackssssss
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(ETA: oh hello is it time for more essaying. let’s say yes.
Kacchan’s feelings about Deku are so complicated. much more so than Deku’s own comparatively simple if contradicting feelings. clearly they got along well enough when they were little. but then Kacchan fell off that log and Deku tried to help him and Kacchan was like “WHAT! EVEN THOUGH I WAS CLEARLY FINE! HOW DARE” and that was that.
so we know from the chapter coming up after this one that Katsuki somehow got it in his head that Izuku was looking down on him. mostly this seems to stem from a genuine misunderstanding of Deku’s desire to help. Katsuki has always been very independent and likes to do things for himself. this is part of what he associates with being “strong”, and it’s clearly something he was already being admired and praised for even at a young age, so that no doubt further reinforced things in his mind. now add to this the fact that most four-year-olds are still learning and developing when it comes to empathy. so it genuinely might not have crossed Katsuki’s mind that not everyone feels the same way as he does when it comes to wanting and accepting help. put this all together, and we end up with Kacchan misinterpreting Izuku’s well-meaning gesture, and feeling insulted and patronized, and the two of them have their falling out.
and yet Izuku keeps following him.
even after Kacchan starts insulting him and beating him up. he’s still there, always, following him around like a shadow. and so Katsuki gets even meaner. at some point Izuku has to get the message, right?? but apparently not.
and so it keeps escalating. Katsuki gets worse and worse. but even though Izuku is now afraid of him, he still can’t help being drawn to him. meanwhile Katsuki can’t fucking understand why Deku won’t fucking quit no matter how horrible Katsuki is to him. so he once again takes it as Izuku being condescending. this is Izuku’s way of challenging him. showing that it doesn’t matter what Katsuki does, because Izuku will still always be better than him.
but here’s the thing. that idea of Izuku thinking he’s better than Katsuki -- that couldn’t have just come out of nowhere like that. if he really did believe Izuku was just a quirkless good-for-nothing weakling, it wouldn’t have bothered him that much. that kind of anger doesn’t just come out of left field, and it certainly couldn’t have sustained itself for that long unless there was something deeper fueling it. that something being fear. in other words, Katsuki hated Izuku because deep down he was afraid that somehow Izuku really would surpass him. because he knew from the start that there was something about him, something he didn’t understand, which made it all the more frightening. that something being Izuku’s heart; his spirit; his will to protect others. his Main Character Energy, which radiates out from him at strange times, and takes over in those instances where “my body just moved before I could think.” it’s what made All Might choose him as his successor. we’ve all seen it. y’all know what I’m talking about.
and even though Katsuki doesn’t understand it, some part of him can still feel it all the same. but where Izuku is drawn to Katsuki’s own strength, Katsuki is intimidated by Izuku’s. very likely in part because of his zero-sum mentality. if he acknowledges Izuku’s strength, it’s the same as acknowledging his own weakness. Izuku has something he lacks, and he knows it, and he’s somehow smug about it. he thinks he’s better than him! but fuck that, because Katsuki’s the one who’s going to be number one! right?? but there’s that nagging fear that maybe, just maybe, that isn’t true. and so he gets worse and worse, and tries to get Izuku to stop trailing behind him, tries to shake him off. but it doesn’t work. and so the cycle continues on and on.
and then UA. and all of a sudden, Izuku has a quirk. and is suddenly growing at a prodigious rate. and Katsuki’s growing too, but not as fast. and this is it. this is everything he was afraid of. and every time he hits a setback, and every time Izuku has another victory, those doubts start to gnaw at him more and more. until finally, Kamino.
but we’ll get to that in a minute. to be continued.)
he’s remembering the consoling speeches All Might gave him in chapters 11 and 62. why yes I have Kacchan’s angst chapters memorized. what, doesn’t everyone
omg
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-- HE’S COMING AT DEKU WITH A KICK
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HE’S NEVER FUCKING DONE THAT BEFORE. HE DOESN’T FIGHT WITH KICKS CUZ HIS FEET DON’T FUCKING EXPLODE DUH. BUT HE’S KICKING DEKU THOUGH, AND WHY?? COULD IT BE BECAUSE DEKU FIGHTS WITH KICKS NOW. OR MAYBE HE JUST FUCKING FELT LIKE KICKING HIM I DUNNO!
LOOK AT THIS!!!
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WHAT A CLEAN AND COHERENT FUCKING ACTION PAGE AND I LOVE IT!! DEKU PULLING SOME CAPOEIRA SHIT
NOW KACCHAN’S STUMBLING BACK, AND HE’S STILL THINKING “WHY”
and he’s just lying there now and isn’t getting back up
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give me angst. should I go make some popcorn. I want angst now. give it
DEKU IS EXTENDING HIS ARM AGAIN
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lol remember back when he was being calm about this. or pretending to be calm
he’s fucking SCREAMING at Deku to fight him. “WHAT THE HELL IS YOUR PROBLEM?!”
and he keeps asking “why”
oh my god it’s what I thought. it’s exactly what I thought isn’t it. isn’t it. it is. isn’t it
(ETA: I’ve written so many essays about these two that I kind of lost track, but I think this is referring to the one I wrote as an ETA for chapter 42 here, about why Katsuki couldn’t stand it when Deku offered him help when they were four. but little did I know that Kacchan was actually about to shift to another subject entirely!)
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tissues should I get some tissues. I’ll go get
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oh shit you guys. lol. :’D
hahaha. okay wow
just. give me a moment to process
like. so this whole time, he looked down on Deku, but actually Deku is doing everything right, and now he’s the one who keeps fucking up. and now apparently he blames himself!? for what happened to All Might??! so on top of his weird complex with Deku, now there’s guilt there also, and for something that was absolutely not his fault. oh shit
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oh my god. angst baby. angst for days angst for weeks lifetime supply yessss
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tell me more about your guilt Kacchan. let it out honey
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(ETA: shout out here to Okamoto Nobuhiko, Bakugou’s Japanese VA. I assume everyone reading this has watched this episode in the anime, but if not, do yourself a favor and go check that out, because all of the emotions from the manga are cranked up to 11 and it’s amazing. and Bakugou’s VA in particular does an incredible job of capturing the turbulence in his emotions. his voice wavers and cracks and vacillates between angry and confused and frustrated, and he sounds every inch like a 16-year-old boy who’s just overwhelmed and fighting back tears and trying to keep himself together. he just totally sells it, and it’s easily one of the best vocal performances I’ve ever heard in an anime.)
holy. just, this is even more than I ever dared to hope speculate, honestly. as horrible as Deku felt about it, Kacchan was completely fucked up by it too. not only is he dealing with the reality of a world without All Might just like everyone else is, he’s also been struggling the entire time with the weight of the thought that it was him. his fault
(ETA: hello I’m back.
so! Kamino. Kacchan gets kidnapped. somehow he’s singled out from among all the possible targets the villains could have had, and they think they can turn him to their side. and even the media is talking about how ~unstable~ he is and maybe he really will do it. he doesn’t, of course. and he talks big and he keeps his cool and he does his best to fight back. but it’s tense. and maybe a lot scarier and more dangerous than he cares to acknowledge at any point.
but then All Might shows up. All Might, his childhood hero, the man he looks up to more than anyone. All Might saves him. and things do get pretty dicey for a bit. for a few seconds he actually ends up back in the villains’ clutches, or very nearly at any rate. but then All Might is there again, and then somehow Deku and Kirishima and the others show up too, and they help him escape he goes along with their escape plan even though he totally had it under control, so that he doesn’t get in All Might’s way. and that’s it. he’s safe again. all is well.
except that it very much is not. because all of a sudden All Might is struggling. and then suddenly he’s different. all of a sudden he’s transformed into this scraggly-looking skeletal figure right before their eyes. and just like that, everything changes.
and in the end All Might still wins, in spite of everything, because it’s All Might. but something is still terribly wrong. and then all of a sudden All Might is pointing at Deku, and “you’re next,” and the pieces finally click into place. Deku has All Might’s power. All Might gave Deku his quirk. All Might himself recognized Deku as someone worthy enough, strong enough, to receive that power. here Katsuki is, getting recruited by fucking villains, and meanwhile Deku is being acknowledged by the hero they both admire.
there are some very obvious implications here. clearly one of them is doing something right. and the other one is very plainly not. it’s possible, even, that this is something Katsuki has suspected in the back of his mind for a while now, even before all of this. something he was in denial about, but was secretly becoming more and more certain of.
and then All Might retires.
that fight against All for One -- the fight that only happened because All Might had to rescue him -- ends up being his last stand. all of a sudden he’s out of commission, his power spent. all of a sudden the unthinkable has happened. all of a sudden there is no more Symbol of Peace.
and all of that. is. Katsuki’s. fault.
“if I’d only been stronger...” “if I hadn’t gotten captured...”
so he starts having thoughts like this. but then the thing is that he can’t tell anyone. because no one else is supposed to know about All Might giving his power to Izuku. so they wouldn’t know that All Might was already weakened going into that battle with All for One. that he was weakened, but went into battle anyway in order to rescue him. and in doing so ended up using up the last of his power. because of him. he fucked everything up.
and imagine if they did know. what would they even think? the world is in chaos now and it’s all his fault. villains are running amok, society is in upheaval, and everyone is feeling the stress. All Might’s walking around all bandaged up with his fucking arm in a cast because you know, it’s nice to have that visual reminder too of just how close he came to actually losing and fucking dying instead of just retiring. and he still won’t acknowledge the connection he has to Deku, though. so clearly he’s still trying to keep it a secret, and so Katsuki shouldn’t bother him about it. so he tries to just move on, because what else can he do.
but he can’t stop thinking about it. the thoughts keep surfacing no matter what he does. he can’t relax, he can’t escape them. and the thing is that he’s very obviously distressed by all this, because here he is now fucking breaking down in front of Deku of all people. showing weakness; fucking crying in front of Deku, because that’s how bad it is. bad enough that he wasn’t able to keep holding it in. bad enough that he had to confess it to him, because he was the only one he could talk to about this, because Deku is the only other one who knows. and you can see the pain in his expression and in his body language, and hear it in his voice -- and once again, props to Okamoto for that, because damn -- enough so that I don’t really need to keep breaking it down. it speaks for itself. when your guilt is hurting you so badly that you start spilling your guts even though you cherish your pride above everything else, and even though you fucking despise the person you’re spilling your guts to, that means it’s bad, guys. it’s really fucking bad.
tl;dr Kacchan is not okay. hell, that could have been the title of the fucking chapter. or this whole fucking mini-arc. my boy needs hugs. but in the absence of hugs, sincere rival beatdowns and heart-to-hearts will also suffice.)
Deku is making the same face he made when he learned about Todoroki’s past
and now, after having a moment to process it, he’s responding in the same way that he did with Todoroki
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oh shit dude
like, I know Kacchan likes when people take fights seriously but damn. why did I fucking laugh
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yessss heal his wounded heart Deku. by fighting him. help him feel like he’s not just a useless bum who’s somehow been going backwards and making things worse
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EMBRACING THOSE FEELINGS HEAD ONNNNNNNNNN YESSSSS
I can’t believe it’s the end of the fucking chapter again! and that I get to click to the next chapter right away! binge reading is the best you guys omg
  there isn’t a bonus because this was the end of the volume! too bad, we’ll just have to make do with this being the greatest chapter of all time. poor us
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writersrealmbts · 6 years
Text
Bulletproof Melody: Part 1
Description: Superhero!BTS: What happens when circumstances force you to team up with the infamous Bulletproof Boyscouts? Will you be able to beat the villain threatening all of you and your town? Or will you watch everything burn?
Prologue: Meet the Heroes
Warnings: Violence
Posted: 9/09/2018
Tags: SuperheroAU, Superhero!BTS, superpowered!BTS
Angst with little fluffs: 3,966 words
A/N: So, hopefully I’ve written it clearly enough that you guys know who is who, if not, there’s always the guide, so check that out. I haven’t gotten far enough into the story to actually decide who the love interest is, though it might come across as one more than another. The first few parts are mostly going to be exploring the powers and building up the relationship to the boys I promise there will be more action later.
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You rolled out of the way of your opponent’s kick, and grabbed the pipe, turning and swinging it at her knees before getting back to your feet. You swung again and caught her head.
She crumpled to the ground.
You dropped the pipe and leaned against one of the columns. “It is five in the damn morning on a Monday. I haven’t even had coffee yet and someone decides to try and steal from a bank. Most people do this in the middle of the night, but no, you wake me up before dawn. I hope you have a splitting headache when you wake up,” You told your unconscious enemy.
“That’s not very kind,” a teasing voice said from behind you.
You turned to look at your eternal thorn in the side. “This is my territory, why do you always show up?”
“Had to make sure you won,” He teased, dropping to the ground beside you.
“Really?” You folded your arms.
He flashed a winning smile. “Come on, Nightingale, admit it: if I didn’t come around you would totally get lonely.”
You hated that he was right. “Don’t flatter yourself, Jera. I mean, just the name is enough to annoy me.”
“I didn’t come up with it.” He flicked his wrist and there was a squeak of protest from your enemy as she was tied up with vines.
You sighed. “Yeah, yeah. Each of your members has the name of a Nordic rune because the journalist that first wrote about you guys not only called you the bulletproof boy-scouts—“
“Annoying name.”
“But also decided that he would name Eihwaz and Laguz after Nordic runes. Then the rest of you just accepted it and helped each other choose names. You opted out and ended up as Jera—after vehemently protesting Berkano at my insistence.”
“You still haven’t told me what it means,” he said, stepping close, obviously flirting.
“You could just look it up?”
“Now where would the fun be in that, petunia?” He tucked a flower in your hair. He was dangerously close, his powers radiating off of him, and sensed by you with your own power.
You smirked up at him. “You wish for a connection. If I tell you, you won’t have a reason to keep talking to me except for these useless check ups to see if I won or lost.”
He rolled his eyes. “You always make things harder. Don’t tell me.”
“I will. I’ll tell you when I’m dying.”
He grew serious as he realized you were. He swallowed and nodded. “So when we’re old.”
“Old is relative.”
“Hey,” he said, sounding worried. “Don’t…Don’t get yourself killed doing something stupid.”
You opened your mouth to reply, then snapped it shut as you sensed a fire super nearby. You pulled out some of your cached energy, handing one of the crystal pieces to Jera. “Fire, over there.”
He crushed the energy piece in his hand with a nod, preparing himself for whoever it was.
You picked the pipe up again.
“Nightingale and Jera? Lovers in the night? Or secret villains, colluding against the team he’s in?” A man’s voice rumbled in the darkness as his eyes began to glow like embers.
“Neither,” Jera answered, already in a fighting stance.
“You have something that belongs to me, Nightingale. I will have it back.”
“Her?” You guessed, pointing the pipe at the girl who looked up at you like you were crazy. You shrugged at her.
“Why should I care about some low-level thief? No, I speak of a scroll. A scroll that will solve all of my problems.” His eyes went from orange to blue in an instant.
Jera glanced at you, curious and uneasy. His powers weren’t strong against fire. He would get hurt if he fought for you.
You tried to think of what it could be. You had collected a few scrolls that supers had imbued their powers into upon retirement or as they died. It was like a sort of legacy. Because your caches existed on dimensional planes that only you or your ancestors could access, you stored a lot of dangerous weapons and artifacts for people.
“You try my patience!”
“My family has been collecting scrolls for centuries, you’ll have to be a little more specific!” You snapped, pointing the pipe at him in annoyance.
“The scroll of delight.”
You frowned. “Yeah, no, I’d have to check the records.”
A fireball caught Jera straight in the chest.
He screamed in pain, dropping to the ground as you shrieked in surprise.
“You have one week to get me that scroll! Or else I will burn this city to the ground!” The super roared, then erupted in a pillar of flames.
You dropped to Jera’s side. “Hold still for just a moment…I’ll…I know a song for this…” you squeezed your eyes shut, then slowly started humming. You felt the right sort of energy flow through you and you started sing the words of a healing song, gently touching where he got burned.
He grew still, his breathing calming down as the pain lessened. “Thanks, Tinny.”
You finished the song and surveyed your work. Now it just appeared he’d been in the sun for too long. You let out a shaky sigh of relief. “I’m sorry, if I hadn’t gotten snarky with him—“
“You still couldn’t have given the scroll to him. He’s clearly hostile,” he cut you off, sitting up gingerly. Then he fixed his gaze on you. “You’re going to need help.”
You looked away for a moment. “I am.”
He got up and helped you up. “We’ll leave her for the police to find when they finally show up. Let’s go talk to the other boys.”
You nodded.
Jera caught you by your waist and pulled you against his body. “Hold on tight.”
You grabbed on quickly, then the two of you were being tossed into the air by a tree.
There was a flash of light and then you were in their lair.
Both of you dropped to the ground groaning.
“Hyung!” Jera protested, rubbing his eyes.
“It was the fastest way to get you here.” Sowilo was glaring at you until he recognized you from your few encounters. “Nightingale?”
“Did you just turn me into particles of light?”
“Yeah.”
“So that’s how you stay so skinny,” you muttered.
He laughed, his tired appearance melting. “I can’t keep it as particles of light.”
“Oh well, it was just a guess anyway.”
“He forgets to eat,” Jera told you, clapping his teammate on the shoulder. “Too busy napping.”
You giggled as Sowilo protested his brother’s honesty loudly, groaning about him being loud.
“Nightingale?”
You turned toward Laguz and smiled. “Hey.”
“What are you doing here?” He asked, curious but cautious. Then he saw Jera. “What happened to you?!”
“Fire super. We’ll explain once the team is together. It doesn’t hurt that much. I’m just going to put on a different shirt. Take her to the meeting room?” Jera placed a comforting hand on your shoulder, knowing that you weren’t around this many people often.
Laguz nodded. “Alright. Wilo, lead on.”
“Hyung, no jokes. We don’t want to scare her,” Jera added, then passed through a different door.
Laguz looked a little miffed.
“Jokes?”
“Don’t ask, they’re terrible.” Sowilo put himself between you and Laguz. “I told the others that we have a visitor. They should be decent.”
“I sincerely hope you just mean that they weren’t disguised,” you muttered, uncomfortable with the two men that you barely knew. You were examining your surroundings cautiously, trying to calm your nerves.
Raidho appeared in front of you (technically transported) and grinned. “Nightingale!”
You gave a nervous smile. “Raidho.”
“You’re actually here! Wow! Jera has told us a lot about you!” He grabbed your hand and shook it. His voice was deeper than you had imagined, and he seemed surprisingly goofy and energetic compared to when he was working. Out there he was methodical and exact. Sure, he would smile and such, but he always seemed focused. Intense.
“Raid, calm down. You’ll scare her. She’s a loner, this is a little new for her,” Laguz said in a voice that said scolding but with a look like you would give a beloved pet who was being adorable.
Raidho pouted slightly, looking at you. “You’re not scared of me, are you?”
You kind of were, but more because you had seen him fight and he was a stranger than because you actually thought he was scary.
He looked so hurt when you didn’t answer. “You are?” His already big eyes widened. “Why would you be afraid of me?”
“I’m not…per se. I get around. I’ve seen you fight. And you’re standing really close to me right now.”
Sowilo pulled Raidho back. “Sorry about him.”
“Ah, don’t be afraid of me!” He looked like he was about to beg.
You looked at Laguz for help.
He clapped a hand on Raidho’s shoulder. “Relax, she just doesn’t know you yet and she’s a little shy. Right?”
“I would have said cautious,” you replied.
“Nah, you’re shy.” Sowilo turned to keep walking. “Nothing wrong with that. It’s a good defense mechanism given the secrecy that we all need to operate with.”
“So, what happened? I doubt you’re the one who did that to Jera.” Laguz kept moving forward beside you, making sure Raidho kept moving as well.
“Jera will explain,” you said, a little nervously since you didn’t know if he actually would.
Raidho bounced. “Are we teaming up? That’d be so cool!”
You shrugged slightly, sensing the powers of Tiwaz and Mannaz ahead.
Tiwaz was the leader of the group, though he often said he shouldn’t be. He had super speed, could sense danger before it came about, and if he gave someone a penny they would be completely honest for about ten minutes. He could get two minutes of honesty without the penny, last you heard. He was also somewhat clumsy because of his speed. Still, he was considered one of the most powerful supers in the country and was highly respected in the hero community.
Mannaz had animal related powers, able to communicate with and transform into animals. He also had a sort of animalistic empathy, like how a dog could sense emotions of humans.
The only person in their group that you couldn’t sense was Eihwaz, the youngest member of their group, who had the powers of super strength and force fields. He was probably out of range of what you could sense though.
Sowilo grunted. “I’m gonna need a nap after this. You’ll have to keep me awake.”
“Why?” Laguz asked.
Sowilo didn’t answer, almost going invisible as there was a flash of light before Eihwaz appeared in the hallway with all of you.
Raidho caught Sowilo as the latter stumbled. “I could have done it Hyung,” he murmured, sounding both apologetic and pouty.
Eihwaz was staring at you with wide eyes. “You’re…”
“Nightingale.”
He nodded. “Uh, nice to meet you.”
“Likewise, Eihwaz.” You hummed a certain way, hitting the notes to open your cache of energy, pulling one out and handing it to Sowilo. “This is only an hours worth of energy, but it should get you through the meeting.”
He looked at the crystal in his hand, then at you with confusion.
“Crush it in your hand.”
He did, then flinched and his eyes became huge. His mouth dropped open slightly. “So that’s what Jera meant when he said you can store anything.”
You hummed slightly, sending the dust to a different cache, and nodded. “Anything but others powers. And emotions. Well, I can store some emotions, but the emotion has to be strong and I have to store it with some sort of substance that matches the emotion. Sadness and those similar are stored using collected tears, anger with blood, happiness with lemonade.”
“Lemonade?”
“Blood?!” Laguz gave you a concerned look.
“Hey, it was in the vial when I inherited that vault from my parents. Besides, anger isn’t something that should be stored. The only reason I still have it is because there are certain weapons that require a little bit of anger to keep them in check. As well as a protection scroll that requires essence of anger to activate it. Almost forgot about that. I should put that somewhere easier to reach,” you muttered, pulling out your notebook and writing a note to yourself about doing that.
“Why is happiness lemonade?” Raidho asked, curiousity in his large eyes.
“Well, in the days of my great-great-great-grandparents it was wine. But there were a few too many of my relatives enjoying the happy juice so my great-great-grandmother changed it to lemonade and it’s been that way ever since.” You looked away, getting nervous the closer you got to where Tiwaz and Mannaz were. Both were intimidating, somehow even more so than Sowilo, even though he was solemn most often and Tiwaz had a tendency toward klutziness.
Mannaz was just intense and fought too well for you to ever hope to go against him. Frankly, he scared you even more than Raidho. When Jera had heard it he had laughed. A lot.
“What happened to the dust from the crystal?” Sowilo asked, looking at his hand.
“It’s sleep dust now, I stored it with the rest.”
“That’s so cool!” Raidho grinned.
Eihwaz kept well ahead of the rest of us, not saying anything, but looking curious despite his nervousness.
You understood the feeling.
Laguz stepped through the double doors first, bringing up a bridge from under the water that lined the new, circular room. Plants grew on many of the walls, and were in pots here and there about the room. A fountain, like a waterfall, flowed down the one planter wall and into the water around the room. There was a miniature Tesla coil off to one side, near a computer setup that was impressive. A set of weights that looked impossible to use were sitting on the opposite side of the room. The light seemed natural, yet there were no windows, and prisms were scattered about the room creating rainbows in random spots. Also scattered throughout the room were cushions, mats, and dog or cat beds tucked into corners and niches.
And in the very center, surrounded by the chaos created by all seven members, was an oval table with seven chairs at it. A clear glass ball sat in the center, no doubt to help Sowilo project images better.
Tiwaz was studying papers on the table and looking perplexed.
Mannaz shifted out of being a calico cat and into a human just a few feet away. “They’re here.”
Tiwaz looked up and his expression softened, looked happy. “Nightingale, it’s an honor to have you here.”
“Honor to be here, though circumstances could be better.”
He nodded. “Right. I think we’re just waiting for—“
“Everyone to sit down,” Jera interrupted with a chuckle. He had changed into casual clothes and damn it looked good.
Not that any of these boys knew how to look bad.
You nervously crossed the bridge and approached the meeting table, following the boys.
Jera moved to your side, giving you a reassuring smile. “I’ll do the talking.”
Relief flooded you. “Thanks.”
“Sorry I ran off. They treat you okay?”
“I think I broke Raidho’s heart.”
He looked concerned and surprised. “How?”
“I couldn’t say I wasn’t scared of him.” You kept your voice at a whisper, conscious of the other ears in the room.
He laughed. “He’ll get over it.” He gently led you to a chair opposite Tiwaz and pulled it out for you.
You sat, unable to meet the gazes around you. You hadn’t realized how tired you were until you sat down. That fight had taken it out of you and with the temporary energy starting to wear off as your nervousness and unease ate away at you, you were feeling the exhaustion from your early morning activities.
“I went to see how Nightingale made out with her fight after finishing helping Mannaz and Laguz at the—“
The computer beeped loudly enough to cut Jera off.
Tiwaz was at it in a millisecond. “Robbery at a…toy store? A man, alone.”
“Is it a Gerald’s?” You asked, sitting up straighter.
He looked back at you with some surprise. “Yeah…”
“He’s one of mine. Gerald’s uses child labor to make their toys, and is putting good toy companies and stores out of business in ways slightly less than legal.” You leaned back in your seat. “I decided I couldn’t be everywhere at once.”
“What does he do with what he steals?” Tiwaz asked, frowning.
You smirked. “He donates them to orphanages, schools, libraries, and day cares. In that order.”
Sowilo smiled. “I think we can let this one slip, Tiwaz.”
Tiwaz nodded and walked back to the table, sitting back down. “You were saying, Jera?”
“A fire super confronted us. Mostly her. He wanted a scroll, said she had it. Called it a scroll of…delight?”
You nodded, still unsure what it could be.
“He said that if we didn’t get him the scroll within a week…he’d burn the city down.” Jera touched his chest gingerly, even though you had managed to heal him mostly. “We can’t give him the scroll, so we only have a week to stop him.”
“Do we know where the scroll is?”
“I don’t even know what it is. I have to check the records, and that…that alone could take a whole day. Maybe two.” Your father hadn’t been the most organized vault-keeper, and had spent most of his life collecting the things that shouldn’t be available to just anyone. Which left you with a mess. Not to mention the records dated back centuries. To your eight-times-great-grandfather, who had compiled and translated the previous records into one book.
There were now twenty-four books and none had been updated. It was your project when you had spare time. Which was any time you weren’t fighting, really. Your family's long history had you set for life, so you didn't really need to work a job. Instead you did consulting on specific artifacts and pieces of art, and were decently well-known for collecting pieces by specific artisans. Not to mention you basically acted as a secure deposit box for other supers and sometimes they ‘rented’ the space they used.
“Tinny needs protection, and help taking this guy down. He’s dangerous.”
You nodded. You usually dealt with low level stuff and you knew your limitations. Your powers weren’t fighting powers. You had learned how to fight on your own, teaching yourself in your spare time. You never wanted to be defenseless. Not again. You didn't like hearing that you needed protection, even though you knew it was true. You were someone who handled thieves and sometimes helped in hostage situations.
The boys handled the bigger threats in the area because they were fighters. Good fighters.
“Okay, so what did he look like?” Sowilo asked.
You shook your head. “We could only see his eyes. And when he burst into a pillar of flames after hurting Jera.”
“He had flaming eyes: orange and then blue. Changed with his mood.”
Laguz sucked in a breath. “That means he’s at the very least a level six threat.”
The boys looked at each other in alarm, but apparently weren’t about to argue with the water-super’s assessment.
“Hyung…” Tiwaz looked at Laguz with uncertainty and worry.
“Did you two come straight here?” Laguz asked, color draining from his face.
Tiwaz suddenly stood up. “We have guests.”
Laguz turned and brought the water surrounding the platform up into a protective bubble around the table and computer, with the bridge leading there as Tiwaz and Sowilo quickly wiped the computers after getting the information they needed from it.
Orange light shone through the protective water barrier on all sides, from all nine entrances.
Laguz was starting to struggle, visibly shaking.
You got up, unsure how to help.
“Eihwaz! Force field! Now!” Tiwaz shouted.
Eihwaz looked panicked, trying desperately to form a force-field.
The fire started eating through the water, causing Laguz to yell in pain.
Eihwaz finally got a force field up, but it was inside the water one, not nearly as large, and almost had Sowilo outside of it.
At that second, Laguz’s yell reached a new volume as the fire deteriorated the last of the water and he collapsed, eyes rolling back.
You caught him, despite his size and weight, staggering slightly.
“Laguz!” Mannaz cried, then turned to Raidho. “You need to get us out of here.”
Raidho nodded, closing his eyes to build up the power.
Eihwaz was barely holding the force field up, and it was getting unbearably hot.
Raidho grabbed Mannaz and Tiwaz.
Jera connected everyone with vines.
Then Raidho jerked everyone backwards.
The world flipped on its head, and then you were landing in a field.
You thought you would be sick, but you focused on Laguz. His pulse was thready and weak. He looked severely dehydrated, and burnt.
“Laguz?” Tiwaz stumbled free of the vines as they let go of everyone and dropped next to the two of you. He gently touched his brother’s face then looked at you. “Can you do anything for him? I know…”
You chewed you lip. “M-maybe songs about water? Hang on, let me get a water bottle out.” You closed your eyes and managed to shakily hum the right combination to get a water bottle. Normally you didn’t have to do it for water, but your nerves were shot, as was your energy.
“Please try the water songs,” Tiwaz asked gently.
“We need to move somewhere safer first,” Jera called.
Mannaz helped Sowilo up. “We’re not out of trouble yet.”
Eihwaz picked up the passed out form of Raidho.
You breathed shakily. “We’ll have to go to the safe house. But I won’t be able to help Laguz right away if we do, though.”
They all looked at each other with concern.
Jera came over and checked Laguz again. The water had helped a little, but it had to be given in small sips. He needed an IV.
“Does it have medical supplies?” Tiwaz asked.
You nodded. “I updated it two years ago to have a med-bay.”
Jera carefully took Laguz from you. “I guess we need to be put in storage then.”
You closed your eyes and started singing, opening the door to the safe house. You barely got the door to appear.
The boys did the rest though, getting Laguz and Raidho through, and then someone carried you through as well.
The door snapped shut behind you as the song died in your throat.
You were set down, but your legs were shaky and you fell back against him. You let out a sob, getting emotional with the absence of the threat and the exhaustion of everything you’d done.
“Shhh, it’s okay. We’re okay now,” a sweet voice said, gently caressing your hair. “You did well. You just need rest.”
“There’s a bed in this room.” You recognized Sowilo’s voice.
You opened your eyes and managed to clap and turn the lights on.
Mannaz kept gently petting your hair. “You need to sleep,” he said gently, hand supporting you when you flinched back in surprise.
You nodded, turning toward where Sowilo was standing. You were too tired though. Too drained.
Jera came back in and gently picked you up. “Laguz is in the med bay. Mannaz, go check on Raidho. Tiwaz is talking to Eihwaz.” He carried you to the room—which was actually your room—and set you on the bed. “This is my fault. I should have known better than to go straight to the base.”
“We turned into light,” You sniffled. “That’s hard to track.”
He stared at you.
“She’s right,” Sowilo murmured.
Jera covered you up briskly. “We’ll talk more after you’ve rested. I don’t suppose you’ve ever bottled good dreams?”
You shook your head. “Those are difficult to bottle. And good dreams from the past can be scary in the present.”
He gave you a smile. “Is that so?”
You nodded, then you gasped and grabbed his arm. “There are pictures.”
He became solemn. “You trust me to put them away?”
You hesitated, then nodded. “Please.”
“I’ll get all of them,” He promised, then lightly kissed your forehead. “Now rest.”
You nodded and let your eyes close.
Masterlist. ~ Prologue: Meet the Heroes. ~ Part 2.
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Text
Tricks
This was a request I wrote for the extremely talented @crowsintheforest! (check out their killugon writing @xyliane if you haven’t already because their style is so beautiful and gorgeous I cry every time I read something from them) 
Killugon Miraculous Ladybug AU! Featuring a Ladybug and Chat messing around (and with each other) for two very different reasons.
Word Count: 1604
Links:
BEAUTIFUL fanart by emthimofnight that sparked this whole au
Miraculous x Hunter tag with other drabbles, asks, etc & the ao3 series page
“Hey.”
Gon craned his head upwards, squinting in the bright sunlight. Chat was holding out a clawed hand out to him expectantly.
Gon’s heart shot up into his throat. Did- did Chat want to hold his hand?! That had to be it, there was no other reason why he would-
“Give me your yo-yo,” Chat said and immediately Gon’s euphoria melted into disappointment. He should’ve known better than to get his hopes up. Chat never looked at him that way, no matter how badly Gon wanted him to. But that didn’t mean he couldn’t tug Chat’s tail around a bit, right?
Right.
Chat frowned. “What’s with that funny look on your face?” 
“Oh, it’s nothing...” Gon sighed loudly. He stared off into the distance, lips set in a gloomy pout. He nearly broke out into laughter though at the sound of Chat’s irritated huff.
“Ladybug. Seriously. Spill it before I kick you off the roof again.”
Gon whipped around so fast he almost lost his balance. He gaped at Chat while his partner looked back impassively.
Gon said, “You wouldn’t- you promised that was a one time thing!”
Years ago on night patrol- when they were still two strangers in suits, unfamiliar with their powers as well as the heavy responsibility of saving Yorknew on their shoulders-
Gon had been throwing question after question at Chat that night, burning with curiosity to know more about the pale teen behind the leather mask. Chat had dodged most of them by claiming that they were too personal- even the silly questions, like where was his favorite place to eat or if he had any siblings.
But then Gon had asked Chat what he would do if he won the lottery. 
“Chocolate,” Chat answered immediately and Gon nearly stumbled.
That’s was exactly what Killua had said when Gon asked him the same question. And it was still just as ridiculous hearing it from his extremely attractive and well-toned superhero partner.
He told Chat as much. And then Chat had promptly pushed him off the roof. 
“Well, if you keep being passive as hell it’ll be a two time thing,” Chat shot back, dragging Gon’s mind back to present day, and Gon scowled. “Just tell me and you’ll have no reason to worry.”
“Tell me why you want my yo-yo, first.”
Chat rolled his eyes to the back of his head. “I just want to try something out. I swear I won’t break it or anything.”
“Okay...I don’t think you could break it anyway since it’s magic and everything, but-” he held out the spotted toy-turned-weapon and Chat’s electric-blue eyes lit up, “- I trust you. Do you even know how to use yo-yos, though?”
Chat snorted. “You really think I would ask you for it if I couldn’t?”
He grabbed the yo-yo and started to walk away before Gon could say anything else. Gon stood off to the side of the skyscraper roof, watching with a frown as Chat turned his weapon over in his glittering claws.
“Can I get a second one?” Chat asked. 
“Um. Sure? Why do you-”
“I already told you,” Chat said and easily caught the second yo-yo Gon tossed his way. “I want to try something.”
Gon placed his hands on his hips, a grin tugging his lips upward. “Do you really think you can show me something I haven’t already tried? I’m kind of an expert at using yo-yos, in case you hadn’t noticed.” 
“Watch and learn, Ladybug. I’m about to blow your mind.”
You already do, Gon thought, cheeks warming in a single throbbing heartbeat.
But then Chat spun on his heel and suddenly the yo-yos were dancing through the air in a kaleidoscope of scarlet red and inky black. He twisted Gon’s weapons around his body so fast that even Gon couldn’t keep track of their path. But even with the speed, not once did a yo-yo ricochet off Chat’s body.
Gon’s jaw dropped. The amount of control Chat needed to fling the yo-yos around like that without accidentally hurting himself in the process was insane. He would know after using them for years to fight akumas. And the fact that Chat could do that so effortlessly...
It was incredible!
“Chat!” Gon gasped as Chat caught each yo-yo. “That’s- you’re- wow, I had no idea you could do that!!! You’re even more amazing than I thought!”
Chat recoiled, almost dropping the yo-yos in shock. He squeaked, “What?! No, I’m not! This is just me messing around-”
“If this is you messing around, maybe you should be Ladybug,” Gon teased.
Chat grimaced. “Let’s not go there. Can you imagine me prancing around in your suit with a bandanna around my head? No way. I already look bad enough with this dumb bell.”
Gon couldn’t help the bubbling laughter that spilled from his mouth at the image that came to his mind- Chat’s starlight hair tied back in a black and red headband- and Chat glowered.
“It’s not-” he chucked the yo-yos back at Gon, “- funny!”
“It is!” Gon wheezed, barely catching the yo-yos in time. Chat took a menacing step forward and Gon said quickly, “But! But I like you as Chat Noir, better. I don’t think the bell looks dumb at all to be honest! It’s cool. Plus, you look too good in all that black leather, Chat.”
That made Chat stop short. He stared at Gon, mouth hanging open, and Gon winked suggestively.
Chat let out a long groan, burying his flushed face in his hands. Gon mourned loosing the sight of Chat’s pretty blush as Chat muttered, “You’re the absolute worst. I can’t believe I put up with you on a daily basis.”
“It’s ’cause you love me!”
“That’s debatable.”
“Hey,” Gon whined but Chat was already lowering his arms to send a mischievous smirk his way. Gon’s heart stuttered. Chat’s smile always did that to him, somehow. 
Gon glanced down at his hands to hide the way his own face was starting to turn pink. He ran a thumb against the edge of his yo-yos, remembering how they had flown under Chat’s expert control.
“How did you learn to use yo-yos like that?” he asked, curiosity getting the better of him.
He looked up in time to see Chat’s ears press flat against silver locks of hair. 
“I, um.” Chat rubbed the back of his neck. “I won a bunch of competitions when I was younger. And I still mess around with them a lot today. I just don’t compete like I used to because...”
“Your parents?” Gon asked lowly. Chat didn’t talk about his personal life much, but Gon knew enough from passing comments and angry grumbling that his partner’s relationship with his family was rocky at best. They were the main reason why Chat was sometimes delayed in responding to akuma attacks.
Chat nodded, expression unreadable. “They said it was stupid. So I stopped.”
Gon was quiet for a few seconds. It was strange, but in this moment, Chat reminded Gon so much of Killua that it was kind of scary. They shared so many interests and faced the same family problems.
Maybe it was a trick of the light, but it was especially easy to see Killua and Chat’s physical similarities in the way Chat stood there- ears nearly hidden in that light hair, slanted blue eyes and pale skin...he looked a lot like Gon’s best friend. 
But Killua was off with his parents on some business meeting right now. He’d even texted Gon a picture of the view from the conference room his father had dragged him too. And Killua would never, ever try on the suit Chat wore like a second skin. He’d probably die of embarrassment if he even tried.
Still, though.
“You know,” Gon said and Chat’s gaze flickered to his face. “You remind me a lot of my best friend. If you ever wanted to hang out without the suits, I’d love to introduce you.”
Chat grimaced. “Ladybug-”
“I know how you feel about that kind of thing, but at least think about it! Please,” he added in a gentler tone. “He really likes yo-yos, too. You could show him that really neat trick of yours!”
Chat pursed his lips. He looked like he wanted to say yes, and Gon held his breath, praying-hoping-wishing that Chat would accept for once-
Beep-beep-beep!
They both jumped at the unexpected noise. Chat pulled out a phone from his pocket, eyes widening in horror at what he saw there.
“Shit!” he cursed and shoved his phone away again. 
Gon started, “Wha-”
“Sorry, I have to go! I’m really late for- for something! Shit shit shit!”
Gon watched, gaping, as Chat flung himself into the air. He cupped his hands around his mouth and shouted at Chat’s retreating figure, “We’re still doing patrol tonight, right?!”
“Yeah! See ya later, Ladybug!”
And then Chat was gone.
Gon sighed heavily and slumped. Disappointment crashed over him like a wave.
Now what was he supposed to do? Killua was busy and Chat was...late, apparently. Maybe if Gon was lucky, Chat would be in a good enough mood tonight to tell him what exactly he’d been late for. Gon doubted it, though.
Chat was so secretive. But that only made Gon want him more.
“Well,” Gon said thoughtfully, clipping one of the yo-yos back to his hip and standing up straight. “I guess I’ll go help Aunt Mito around the bakery until Killua comes back.”
And with that he leaped off the roof, grinning at the rush of adrenaline that coursed through his veins. 
He loved being a superhero.
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