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puppyeared · 6 months

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its so hard to watch time pass when things like careers and assignments exist. what do you mean im supposed to take that seriously

#I have an assignment that was due a week ago and I really really dont want to do it. I have to but i dont want to #im probably making it worse because my brain has built a wall around it so now i can’t do literally anything else until thats done. but #because I don’t want to do it I’m just kinda stuck. turns out this is what they meant when they said emotional regulation is part of #exec dysfunction.. I’ll have a thought like if I get a little bit of it done now i can get it over with. I can just submit something #and then not even 5 minutes later itll be like ugh but I have to draw all the assets out. I have to write things and make spreads ugh #and its just flopping between those two things. i hate it when ppl are like well how much time do you need to work on one thing #because BOY id love to know too. I’d love to know exactly when my brain wants to cooperate with me and work around that but I cant #even my period can’t decide when it wants to punch me in the stomach. which is kinda funny in the grand scheme of things but still #its so weird im just lying on my bed thinking abt all this like damn.. the time will pass anyways no matter what I decide to do.. damn….#if I submit that assignment now and take the L I literally won’t die. it’ll just be a deduction on an assignment nobody will ask me about #I know this but I’m still stressing myself about it so my thoughts aren’t really connecting to my body. weird #maybe its because Im having a hard time looking forward to things. theres definitely a lot I should be living for but I don’t really feel #a strong attachment to it I guess? it’s been like this for a while with holidays and meeting with friends so I just don’t #I kinda figured its because im pretty passionless and its more like passing interest. but it’s not very fun when it feels like I’m going to #be living distraction to distraction for the next 70 years or so lol #idk it kind of feels like slowly bleeding out. which is funny because I actually did experience blood loss this week #had a 30 minute nosebleed and literally could not stand. also it felt like someone was pinching the back of my brain which was interesting #yapping #does this count as vent #vent #Ive just been making an oc carrd and contemplate changing my blog header for the past 3 days honestly

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cathalbravecog · 10 months

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veep dad comfort art

#veep dad :]#i have Not been well mentally tbh the second im with friends i DIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE anyways ill be VENTING A TINY BIT HERE #i need excitement in my life but im like #has no social life #oopsies...!#so i thought yknow what would make me happy rn. My Veep Dad #yea thats it #also ive been struggling with motivations to play ttcc and draw so....#apologies for being in the game less. especially as im in the post game with almost everything done #im usually kinda really goal oriented in games and yeah having no tasks or close friends to play with #im just kinda THERE and getting that initial push to do stuff is very hard #my motivation has just been at an all time zero (again) and it upsets me bc i do wanna do stuff...not bc ohh productivity but bc #i just wanna HAVE FUNNNN #anyways erm.... thanks for listening to my little rant here again. i dont know where else to express this sort of stuff. feels wrong to dum #it on strangers who i know are there for my art but. whatever. yknow #just wish i was more motivated in general but my life is Just Kinda Sad and im an Antisocial Anxious Wreck Dear Cog #senior vice president #sr vp #veep dad #personal tag if i dont wanna main tag....#doodles #traditional art #guz art #toontown

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zaynes-left-chesticle · 3 months

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Okay I just read Zayne's "Still in Dark" anecdote, and now I'm crying and also my jaW IS ON THE GROUND, WHAT IN THE FUC-

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enjoy the tags, I just needed to vent....

And I'm scared 🤣

#hoooooly shit when i tell you i was confused about the timeline before ... ash.exe has officially stopped responding #semi spoiler alert/ me venting.... youve been warned #ARE WE NOT REAL IN HIS DIMENSION? Are we just pulling a freaking spongebob and showing up in his dreams?#im scared somebody hold me. im freaking crying cuz that was so sad but also SERIOUSLY WTFFFF IS GOING ON #love and deepspace #okay im done screaming im sorry #but seriously.... there is so much happening i dont know whats real and what isnt.#i wanted to think Tower of Secrets was just AU but now with the whole growing jasmine parallel and Linkon City being years in the past....?#ffs i need some theories cuz im just sending myself down a rabbit hole trying to decide what's going on #like what? am i just popping up in zaynes dreams to save him from loneliness while he helps me save the universe from getting access to my #and pops up in Raf's life to rescue him after losing everything while he also magically helps me save the universe from the aether's power #and Xai/Lumiere who's what... like 300+ years old somehow knows who i am?#WHO AM I? some dimension-jumping dream-hopping timeline-skipping superhuman with the core strength of 10000 suns and i don't even remember?#i need to read the rest of Xai's lore....#anyways welcome to the end of the tags. i hope you had fun. if you made it this far.... i am so sorry 🤣

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skunkes · 9 months

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i wanna make zine

#i actually dont care anymore if its just Vent Post in Comic form. i want to make it and you're gonna sit there and read it. (jork)#all i need to do is figure out if i shld just invest in the printer id wanted for other reasons anyway or try to find somewhere i cld get it #done...its jst thick paper...im not trying to make a huge expensive production i jst wanna see my feelings in little book form #but there are NOT many resources for anything here and i cant drive yet ugh #and id need to sit and draw it ughghhhhhhh....#talkys #the other thing id i dont have a title for the current one i wanna make #my issue is i either come up with fun titles with nothing to give them to or come up with Something [with no fun title]

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falldogbombsthemoon · 1 month

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Yall haha, my dad made it so I have wifi access for one hour a day. which I can use from like 14 to 21 german time. So once my mobile data is dead, I will not be active that much ig. So please dont think I'm abandoning yall.

#vent following #its fucking ridiculous. im not a fucking child. neither is my brother #no idea what my dad wants to achieve through that. “so you can relaxe more” yeah no. being on the internet is my fucking coping mechanism.#there is nothing about relaxation there. also he did that so we'll to go sleep earlier. if it really was about that.#he would need to force me to sleep. you cant just change my sleep schedule by that #anyway its fucking ridiculous as i was on a good way of getting to sleep more early but if imma do that now he will think like #“wow. im such a good dad. i fixed all the problems my child could possibly have.” which is absolutely not the case #yk. ive always fucking struggled with feeling like people cant trust me.#and him not trusting my abilities to be responsible for myself is not helping #and then boom. im feeling shitty but wait haha my coping mechanism is currently set offline.#and like also im in extra stress atm bc school is fucking with me #not only are like a bunch of tests on the way but my fucking anxiety in school is getting so bad.#i cant sit in that facility without feeling like imma have a panic attack any minute #i am in need of fucking professional mental help. and at least one diagnosis. i dont want to do shit to myself.#but in this house hold. emotions are not talked about. feelings are suppressed and mental health is an illusion #i NEED to see a fucking psychiatrist. but i dont feel like i can to my parents about that. and technically i could go without them knowing #but someone needs to educate them. and i mentally cant be that someone #and guess whos sitting in their room crying and writing about that rn. not studying for their tests tomorrow and the day after.#i bet if my parents wouldnt have done that shit with my wifi i would be studying rn #quinns daily yapping post #rather #quinns personal hell

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bunnihearted · 1 month

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#1st my sister was passive aggressive bc i was boiling pasta when she wanted to make her dinner #so she slammed stuff nd chopped veggies aggressively #nd i felt my heart rate spike nd my body go tense nd i always get clumsy nd drop things nd hurt myself when i get that way #but they think i deserve feeling awful bc of mistakes in the past so i cant ask them to stop #i've been walking around w lots of heavy things nd im barely keeping it together #nd i got so mad bc she wouldnt stop so i started slamming the cabinets nd then left when i was done #then my mom nd other sister got home nd i just wanted to ask my mom smth #when i open my door my other sister goes 'omfg already?'#'immediately when we get home i never get a break. it's almost disgusting'#i just got so.. i realized how pathetic nd childish i am so i just went into my room #but then apparently my sister said to mom that *i* was the only one being passive aggressive #so she comes in to talk when i was having my dinner so i said that i plz just wnna eat my dinner #she didnt know nd she's never cared but i wanted to hurt myself so badly i was struggling not to #but then she started screaming at me for being childish nd passive aggressive nd that i never do anything #she left my room. she still talks to my sisters so i know it's onlg me shes sick of #idk.. today is bad bc i cant talk to her nd i dont have ANYONE else to talk to im all alone #and now i barely even wanna go outside my room bc apparently my family thinks i wnna mess w them just for going to the bathroom lmao #i hate myself so much. im so pathetic. im 25yrs old living at home being a burden #nd im just a pathetic nd childish person. i 'need' to talk nd vent nd rant nd #like if i buy some things i have these need to like do a mini haul or if i get books from the library #i wnna show my mom what books i got #it's so childish. i do feel bad for my mom to have to deal w me nd my annoying personality #why cant i jusy be normal. no wonder why i can never keep friends or my family doesnt wnna talk to me. everything abt me fkn sucks #anyway im just feeling so bad and so alone bc my moms mad at me so now i have no one to talk to

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becauseplot · 3 months

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what if i wrote wildly ooc cell/roommates au comfort fic. what then.

#i mean it’s in-character in my heart #i just still need to watch more felpsvods to like you know. properly understand his characterization. bc im winging it.#anyway i am just having a night ykno #and i think the canon non-compliant world’s most unconventional enemies-to-besties duo would help #but first i gotta actually finish studying 0(-(#man mini side tangent but oh my god the pressure i feel to make everything I write ‘in character’ is so overwhelming holyshitttttt #‘you have to be true to the characters else you’re Missing The Point’ vs. ‘it’s fanfic it’s not that serious just have fun!’#chrissttttttt #ugh don’t get me started on this i rly gotta get some work done #this is already a borderline vent post we can’t get into that rn lmao

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elegyofthemoon · 3 months

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kicking and screaming FREE ME ALREADY

#tw vent #vent #PLEASE GET ME OUT OF HERE #i dont wanna do this anymore and i have to wait 3 weeks to actually leave #threeeeee weeeeeks of heeeeeeell #like i said: i genuinely could care less anymore so me? studying? lmaoooo lololol #the only thing im afraid of is more getting yelled at and being treated as incompetent #yeah babey!! i sure am incompetent!! and that is why!!! i am leaving !!! i hate ALL OF YOU #as i said before: all things i do lately is judt for expectation its not even like 'for my future'#i just want this done asap #anyways sorry i just needed to vent this.#internets still bad here too 😒#the guy was supposed to fix it 4 hours ago but um. didnt show up lmao #im sorry lately if i seem really down rhese days #i know i said im gonna try to be positive (at least i still have happy logs)#but Man.

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toastsnaffler · 6 months

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sometimes I wish I was a more interesting + charismatic person just so I could keep conversations going bc I like sharing space with other ppl but they routinely lose all interest and leave once I run out of things to say/start talking abt things that don't concern them :-(

#and boy do I run out of things to say so fast when I'm talking to friends who ik dont give a fuck abt any of my interests...#theres only so much i can make small talk or ask them questions abt their own interests/lives yknow. man #it just makes me feel like im constantly competing with smth else for other ppls attention all the time + constantly losing #eg. when i say smth + my flatmate reaches for her headphones a little dark souls banner appears across my vision like INTERACTION FAILED #and i can feel my rsd + insecurities praying on it like the more i feel this way the more it prophetically fulfils itself #by making me less willing to try and take up space so i become a smaller and smaller person around others #it frustrates me a lot sometimes and i dont rly have the will rn to undo that and force myself to take up more space regardless #ik this sounds like a water is wet complaint like oh nooo woe is me people get bored of me when i talk abt boring things (!!)#but when im spending time w ppl i like i enjoy listening to them talk even if im not interested in the subject bc its Them talking #and if they care abt smth then its worth hearing abt!! to me anyway. but it rly feels like no one reciprocates that idk #oh well not that it matters. at least i like the shit im into so i can talk to myself abt it in my head or on this site lmao #and i like myself as a person even if other people dont so theres always that. ur no 1 should always be urself <3 #voicing this makes me feel so stupid + embarrassed urgh. i hate being anxious abt dumb shit i hate being the sort of person who worries #that their friends privately dislike/just tolerate them or whatever bc id never want a friend to worry abt whether i thought that abt them #and im not naturally a very insecure person!! i think im just feeling particularly vulnerable atm bc of the season + jobhunting so long #+ the fact im dissatisfied with my current social life + still feel very wobbly from not having other ppl i can trust or rely on etcetcetc #and thats just bleeding into other areas. and it sucks a lot. but theres nothing to be done abt it rn bc im not going to communicate it #to other ppl bc im not pathetic enough to make my anxieties someone elses problem + beg for pity attention im too proud for that 👍#anyway. gonna play some noita + then i rly need to work out today bc thats probs part of why im feeling so shite #if ur reading this ignore me im just venting itll pass. i hope youre having a nice day :^)#.vent #.diaries

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leaf-in-a-flower-garden · 8 months

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Don't you hate it when you discover that something that you've been obsessing over is one big, canonically enby-representation game, but then you figure out that the game Devs themselves, nor does half the fucking fandom, care about it enough to be consistent or even bother in the first place to respect the nonbinary representation that is confirmed as cannon. And so you, as a person on the nonbinary spec. have to just deal with it, and feel if you go like "oh actually, this character might look like a she/he but they're actually a they" all the time that you'll be seen as annoying? No? Kk, that's grand.

#sorry this is a massive vent/rant #sigh 😞#just frustrated #cause thats me rep!!!!!!#and people dont fucken care :///#all because the character looks traditionally masc/fem #you dont have to be a skinny androgenous kid to be enby #they come in all shapes and sizes #that people need to fucking understand that #or im gonna explode #anyways :3 #might post some doodles ive done the past week #cause i have a lot lol #skyblr #sky rants #tgc critical

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stretchydyke · 7 months

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i dont want to be a hater and chapter 1096 was SOOOO good and brilliant and one of my favs so far but istg some op fans have no media literacy or reading comprehension ever its driving me insane. like "there's so much mystery left!!" no not really "we still don't know how kuma saved those 500 people!!" he ate the paw paw fruit and then used the fruit "we don't know why roger and garp teamed up!!" yes we do they teamed up to defeat xebec. like at least they could be asking the right questions like where xebec was since he's not with his crew in this chapter; what happened to the island itself once the battle+genocidal game ended; why kuma eventually came to be known as a tyrant on his island; etc

#like yeah there are some unresolved questions #but istg a lot of these they're like ''omg i wonder how he saved the people!!!'' literally use your brain for 2 seconds #this chapter was excellent really but the hype for it that announced it as as important as gear 5 was not fully deserved imo #there was no huge reveal or mind blowing mysteries #imo chapter 1095 warranted more this hype than 1096 did #anyway im done being a mild hater #just needed to vent about this #one piece spoilers #one piece manga spoilers #one piece chapter 1096 #mine

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izzy-b-hands · 21 hours

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finally broke into one of my new syringes (still have some old ones, but figured hey i should try them for this shot)

Tw for bitching abt medical shit/my injs below the cut

and i just. why is my doc intentionally making this harder. I ask for 3ml syringes bc it's what im used to and know how to draw up. She agreed to that, so i never checked my new ones bc why should i? she listened, she sent in for 3mls, right?

NOPE. fucking 1 ml which means figuring out the draw up has required online searching to make sure it's right, and bonus! everything I've found doesn't recommend it for T bc it's such a slow inj to begin with, and 'many feel it takes longer to inject in smaller syringes designed mainly for IV use, which lessens compliance with injection schedules in some'

And i hate how it looks. it looks like so much more, and i know that's stupid bc it isn't, it's the same amount as usual, but the sight of it is v much involved in me getting my injs done with my fear of needles. I know, again, I KNOW planned parenthood is dealing with not enough funding, hands on staff, etc, but does that really prevent you from listening to your patient and trying to help them with shit like this? bc i don't think it should. I'm still forever grateful they've been helping me keep my T going until I find a primary care doc, but at the same time...what the fuck? I said this would be an issue, and i need to stay with my usual supplies. If that was an issue for them, i was willing to buy syringes myself from the medical gear shop I've used for extra supplies before (that will ship out here, I've checked.) Why won't she just fucking. listen, and talk to me? if all she could do was 1 ml syringes, fine, BUT FUCKING TELL ME THAT BEFORE SO I CAN JUST BUY MY OWN

Like. I will get this done. ill use these crap syringes up bc I refuse to waste them.

But now I'm overly nervous and worried im gonna fuck it up with the new syringe, or that it will hurt more or take even longer to inject than usual, so my hands are too shaky to do it! im already a day late with it, and I'd bet ten bucks I wont be able to calm myself enough to do it until tomorrow. Yes, this is also autism bs of needing things the same but like. I've had to do a lot of adjusting since last year, and have made efforts to accept changes and sporadic things. it's been hard as fuck, but I've fucking done it. so why can't i have one fucking thing like this stay the same? just my inj supplies, that's it! I'll accept and deal with other changes but for fuck's sake, she KNOWS I'm nervous abt fucking up my injections (bc i always want them to go well so i get as much med in me as i can, with minimal tracking out after it), why the fuck wouldn't she at least tell me if she was limited in syringes/what she can rx?

Why don't docs listen when i talk, and why won't they just talk and be honest with me like a fucking adult. is that honestly so fucking difficult?

Apparently so 🙃

#text post #long post #sorry ignore me i just needed to vent this out before i figure out if the inj needle fits this syringe #bc the draw up one barely fits correctly so im not feeling real confident on the others!#this is my fault for not checking at the pharmacy but tbh they wouldn't have done anything to help anyway #they're overworked as it is and don't have the time or patience for that #I'd love to discuss this with my doc but thus far she's only suddenly changed when she wanted more bloodwork donr #and refuses to respond to my requests asking when she'd like my next appt scheduled #bc if she moved the bloodwork then maybe she wants to follow up sooner but who fucking knows #and that's not even getting into her misgendering me thru my whole last appt #and she's this p.p.'s full time gender therapy specialist! so there's no one else i can even ask to see at the local office #she's sweet enough but i really think she needs to like. go into a different specialty or something #bc clearly this is not her thing and I'm selfishly frustrated that it's making this harder for me #whatever. i have an inj to set somewhere safe until i can get over this change and make myself do it #funny enough this was supposed to be a quick inj before i shower but! here we are!!!

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rubiesintherough · 2 months

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