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#anyway I'm back baby
soraviie · 10 months
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━ type: jungkook x gn! reader   ━ navigation
━ about: a healthy splash of angst; reader is slightly older than Jungkook (also in denial) and he is a whole forest because there's just so much pine
━ requested by @manavi-meera (?) tumblr deleted your ask when I tried to write in it, all I saw was the gif :/
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"Just think about it."
"It's Jungkook!"
"Yeah, it's Jungkook. So think about it."
"Hmm."
It's around when your foot is halfway across the threshold that Yoongi speaks again — just as somber as he'd begun the conversation. If, of course, one's ex-boyfriend turned best friend hurtling a bunch of mistruths and delusions at a completely oblivious and confused party of the other could be construed as a "conversation".
"Oh and ______________?"
You turn around, feeling some form of clammy fear sink its grimy talons around your gut the longer this stifled, awkward bout of silence drags on.
"Yeah?"
"Just...be kind. No matter what you do."
And because for some unknown reason a sudden knot appears at the base of your throat, you can't speak — without rhyme or reason it seems nigh impossible to utter a single word so you nod. Nod and leave Yoongi to sit in his studio alone and with that disconcerting glimmer in his eye. 
Jungkook liking you — one has to laugh! 
“Old man has to be checked for dementia,” you grouse to yourself, the only thing hearing your discontent being the darkness of the emptied hallway. 
The thought! The absolute gall! 
Jungkook liking you…
It’s — it's ridiculous!
But because of one nosey little fucker, the idea has been planted in your head now and like an invasive species of flora, it refuses to leave your gardens alone. 
You try to imagine, you give it an honest, good effort but even now, after all these years what you see before your eyes when thinking of Jungkook are those big, wet eyes. It doesn’t matter how many tattoos and piercings he adorns himself with, how many bikes he drives through the night in the name of the thrill, none of it matters — to you he’s just a gangly kid, always turning his face away so you don’t see the nearly constant state of panic reflected in his features. 
What Yoongi has been smoking you have no idea, frankly you certainly don’t want to try it if it causes this sort of brain damage. 
Jungkook yearning for you. 
Yearning. Just hearing that word bounce back in your skull makes you scoff. Yearning was for torrid love affairs and sentimental romance books; no one in real life yearned. Who could possibly have the time?
Grab your jacket —> go home —> forget this ever happened —> maybe share a demure chuckle or two with Yoongi five years laters, because obviously he’d be embarrassed about being this wrong about something but the plan is fucked. 
It’s fucked because big, brown eyes are staring right back at you, as you round the corner into the wardrobe and more importantly they’re holding your jacket. Well, his hands, not the eyes. Eyes couldn’t hold things. 
“Welcome back,” Jungkook outstretches the jacket towards you, his voice rumbling low in the chest. It’s usually a pleasant hum but because of Yoongi you cannot help but wonder whether it’s a pleased hum as well. “Why didn’t you tell me you're stopping by?”
Had it been just yesterday you would have punched his arm, rolled your eyes and annoyed the ever loving shit out of him, saying he’s not your boyfriend — you don’t owe him to know when and where you’re coming and going but it’s today and suddenly merely touching him feels excruciatingly awkward. 
“Must have slipped my mind,” you mutter, struggling to put the jacket on. A faint wrinkle of discontent worms its way in the space between his eyebrows. Frustration rises and he outstretches himself to help you — out of instinct, out of annoyance? — you're not quite sure, before it never crossed your mind to ponder about it. However, now that you do your legs take an automated step back and Jungkook's hands after a second of lingering contemplatively into the air, half reached out towards you drop back to his thighs — unassuming and still.
"Something wrong?" he asks, inclining his head to the side and why....
...why is it sort of cute?
Cute in a very Jungkook way but not in a usual Jungkook way because usually he was like a little brother you never wanted and...
"__________________?"
...and you're spiralling.
"Yeah?" you blink down on him and the frown on his face deepens.
"You're a bit," jerkily, he waves his fingers around. "Out of it."
"You're like a brother to me, right?"
You didn't mean for it to come out as a question but it is now and it's terrifying. It's terrifying because Yoongi was right. Jungkook's not laughing or scoffing or even acting annoyed or offended by this familiarity. Rather there's this ashen film covering his face and the longer his gaze flits anxiously from one spot to another — anywhere but your own persona — the more you understand.
He'd thrust his heart into your awkward hands and now you're simply horrified to even hold it with more pressure — what if it breaks, what if you hurt it in anyway? It feels more like an injured bird than a heart — any wrong move and you would do something that would weigh down on you for the rest of the remaining days.
It's your turn to call out his name and echoing the same confused, absent-minded state you're in, he hums at the mention of his name, eyes hazy and teeth gnawing on his lip.
"I mean I always thought we're...friends, you know?"
"You're still—"
"I'm not little anymore."
For a second he gains a new sort of resolution - the hazy veil in his eyes is traded for something more steel like and his spine straightens just for a second befoer he collapses into himself, muttering with no small amount of bitterness:
"I'm not a kid, ___________, and you're not that much older than me."
"I know it's just," there is an ill-willing sense of a migraine coming on - you could feel it into the tepid albeit painful tension sitting at the base of your neck. "I guess it's just hard to shake off first impressions, Koo."
He gives an ugly sort of snort — a bit bitter, a bit self-depreciating — and you swear there is a "don't I know it" under his breath, grumbled in a tone that implies it's something of an inside joke with himself.
You wonder what it means.
"I'll walk you home," he suddenly utters, jumping up from the seat. Was he always such a beefcake? Your stare lingers just a touch too long and now that the proverbial scales had been ripped off your eyes you fully grasp how he preens underneath this crumb of attention.
It brings back the awkward feel in your hands — like holding something too small and too precious while walking across a tightrope.
"I didn't ask—"
"Tough shit," he throws over his shoulder, already walking away, pretending to be all cool.
"When did you get so commanding?" you grouse, rushing to keep up with him. It's a bit easier to breathe for now, here in the desolate hallway of HYBE's lower wardrobess, things have for now returned to normal and you revel in that fact though in the back of your mind you know things are soon to change. Conversations will be had and secrets will be spiilled, be it for better or worse. You know it and Jungkook knows it but for now you both pretend it's the same it used to be and bicker to your heart's delight.
"Spank me then."
"Fucking perv."
"Who do you think I learned it from?"
"From Namjoon's truly godless porn sites."
"I'm a good boy, I would never."
"Wipe that sly grin off your face and maybe I'll believe you."
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send in a picture of the boys and I’ll write a scenario
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thebahwrites · 1 year
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back on my bullshit, starting here tonight, yes this chapter long as hell, painkillers are working like a charm SO WE’RE DOING THIS
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suiheisen · 15 days
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the h in nhl stands for homoerotic
bonus intricate rituals:
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theminecraftbee · 10 months
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It's Mumbo who approaches Doc. His suit is askew, and he's loosened his tie, which is generally a very bad sign. Mumbo, for all he's a very poorly put-together person, normally leaves his clothes well put-together unless things have somehow gone very wrong indeed.
"Tell me, Doc," Mumbo says. "After the whole Easter Egg thing that I heard about--"
"I was very normal, comparatively!" Doc protests. "I was very, very normal!"
Mumbo pauses. "You know, I left town, so I can't dispute that."
Doc nods vigorously. "You can't dispute it at all. And, eh, Ren, if you're going to yell about him, he didn't have any eggs. He was briefly False's pet dog, though. I think it, eh, traumatized him."
Mumbo looks faintly dizzy. "Right. That. How did we solve that again?"
"That was all Cleo and Jevin," Doc says. "I know Cub has some of the surviving remnants in his museum. Why do you ask? Oh no, don't tell me you secretly still have one of the babies! What if it's lost and alone?"
"No, no, nothing like that! It's just that you dropped several thousand dragon eggs on Grian's base, is all."
Doc smirks. "A cunning revenge--"
"You covered Grian's base. In eggs," Mumbo says, very slowly, as though Doc might be particularly stupid. Doc stares back.
"Yeah. It's karmic revenge for the chickens," Doc says back, equally slowly.
"Doc I wasn't there but remind me how Grian reacted last time to the eggs," Mumbo says.
Doc thinks about it for a moment.
Doc's eyes widen.
"Mumbo, please tell me Grian is not--"
"The good news is that I think the server would crash if they hatched," Mumbo says mildly. "The bad news is that I'm his neighbor, and I very much want to kill you now."
"You're joking," Doc says, struck suddenly with the vision of what it would be like to live next to a Grian who is attempting to get broody over thousands of dragon eggs at once.
"Die," Mumbo says, and pulls out an end crystal. Doc doesn't even move. He deserves this one.
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cosmicwhoreo · 4 months
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and say he finds out during one of their downtimes. They are getting ready for bed and PB is about to put on his robe, gold offers to tie rest up for him only to see the few unhealed cracks. some older than others. its not just his face he makes looks pretty.
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He takes it about as well as you'd come to expect from him
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allyecrivaine · 2 years
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i rly just hyperfixate on things for like 2 weeks and then disappear from this website for a few months until i have a new hyperfixation LOL someone cure me
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The Agency's Older Brother: or, Ranpo's Character Development
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I want to talk about Ranpo and the development he goes through in the series, because for as much as Ranpo is an important member of the Agency, his story is focused on in small chunks that may not always, at first read, seem to be overly significant. In fact, Ranpo’s arc is very consistent and I’m fascinated to know where it’s building to, because he’s done a lot of growing in the series. A lot of the themes of his story are to do with responsibility and faith in others.
The Ranpo we meet at the beginning of the story is not the Ranpo we see now. The biggest change is that he’s a lot more personally involved with the struggles of the Agency members, taking it on himself to be proactive and protective, while previously he had to be pushed and bribed into helping much of the time. When did this change?
Well...
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[ID: Two screenshots from a scene in Poe's introductory episode of the Bungou Stray Dogs anime. In the first screenshot, Yosano lies on the carpeted ground, an axe embedded in her chest, blood pooling around her. Ranpo is crouched beside her, supporting her shoulders with one hand and clasping her hand with the other. The second screenshot is a close up of Ranpo's distressed face. End ID.]
The thing is, it's almost easy to overlook the effect this scene had on Ranpo, because Poe’s introductory chapter/episode is such a brief one. Moreover, afterwards, Poe becomes an ally and is a bit of a silly character, so it’s easy to forget sometimes that he was a legitimate threat here - and Yosano nearly died for it. This scene was incredibly significant to Ranpo for a few notable reasons.
It’s the first time someone in the Agency was in serious trouble/died without a backup plan.
It is, unfortunately, kind of on him. (Let me be real clear here: I am not blaming Ranpo. But he probably was blaming himself and that's something to keep in mind.)
To recap: Poe pulls Ranpo into his novel out of revenge, also trapping Yosano, who went with him. Ranpo realizes that they are in a world with no abilities, and importantly, he doesn't have the glasses Fukuzawa gave him.
We know those glasses mean a lot to him. When Ranpo was at his lowest, when he was convinced the world hated him, Fukuzawa gave him those glasses and told him he had a special ability. That he had a gift that no one else did that allowed him to see the truth that no one else could. Untold Origins makes it very clear that if Fukuzawa hadn't reached out to Ranpo when he did, Ranpo may have forever been outcasted. He was a kid kept in a bubble then suddenly and rudely shoved into a world he was unprepared to cope with, where he continued to get rejected and thrown out over and over - and all this on top of the grief he felt from his parents' passing. Ranpo was bitter and terrified of people, and thought everyone was pretending to be oblivious just to hurt him. Fukuzawa saved him the only way he could, in the only way Ranpo would hear him. It's not an exaggeration to say Fukuzawa saved Ranpo's life. And, while cute, it's also telling how quickly those glasses became an intrinsic part of his identity. Only maybe twenty minutes after he first received them, he was already making little doodles of himself wearing them.
Suddenly, the glasses are gone, and Ranpo goes into a funk because he "can't activate his ability without them". Obviously, we know that isn't true, and so does Yosano. Ranpo probably, deep down, knows this too, but to admit that would be to admit the president lied to him, and to uproot the very thing that gave him the means to perceive the world in a brighter light. The reason Fukuzawa had to lie in the first place was because the truth would be to tell Ranpo that his parents lied to him, something he angrily denies could ever be the case. And now, Fukuzawa is very plainly stated to be Ranpo's adoptive father. Ranpo's parents do not lie to him. He does not want to see it - and so he doesn't. This is a recurring thing with Ranpo. For as much as he sees the truth clearly, he also chooses not to see it at times when it would be uncomfortable/go against the intuition of someone he deeply trusts and respects.
And I think it's very easy to just leave it there, and say, "Oh, Ranpo realized at the end of this chapter/episode that he didn't need the glasses, that he doesn't have an ability, and that's a key turning point" but I don't feel that's the full picture or even the focus here, especially since Ranpo still hasn't reached the point where he can properly admit it aloud, even to Yosano.
The thing is, those glasses aren't just of use to Ranpo - they have sentimental value. A heck of a lot of it, for a character who is not very sentimental. The real turning point here is that Ranpo put on Yosano's glasses in order to save her.
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[ID: A screenshot of a panel from the Bungou Stray Dogs manga. Ranpo puts on a pair of glasses. His hair is blown out of his face and he wears an intense expression. End ID.]
Shortly before this, we are informed by Yosano that not only was the Agency specifically formed for Ranpo to make use of his talents, but also that it was Ranpo who invited her to join - which we later learn was a pivotal moment for her to start over after she was completely broken by her experiences in the war. And now, he is watching her bleed out because she had to take over. Because he couldn't solve it. And that, to Ranpo, is unacceptable.
But again, there's more to it. Ranpo is fundamentally a self-centered character - this is not a judgement; I actually love that about him. He's the center of the Agency, the (ostensibly) good guys of the series; a narcissistic guy with little in the way of sensitivity who wants to use his skills to help others. Not for some higher ideal, or because it's "right" necessarily, but because he's good at it, and because he's supposed to protect all the "babies" who can't solve things for themselves. I love it because it highlights a major theme of BSD, which is good as something you do rather than something you are, and also because it explains something about Ranpo himself.
See, if everyone in the world is a "baby" who needs Ranpo's assistance, then the people in the Agency are a little different. They're people hand-picked by Fukuzawa to support him, both through praise and through backup. Remember that Ranpo trusts Fukuzawa's judgement more than anything - this means that he expects the Agency members can handle themselves. So, in chapter 10, when Ranpo doesn't really care that Atsushi has been taken, citing that it's a "personal problem" and he should handle it, I really think this was some odd form of "Atsushi will be fine" and "why should I worry or do anything when I know he'll be fine". And in the past, this has been true - the Agency members always pull through. None of them, up until that point, have been in a situation that they couldn't eventually fix. Ranpo has a bubble of safety in the Agency, that basically amounts to a "villain of the week" type beat from his perspective, where troubles gets fixed up pretty quickly. All in a day's work.
But then Yosano dies in Poe's book, someone he actually had some level of responsibility for when he invited her to join his safe little circle in a world that had no place for people like them. And it's a direct result of Ranpo's refusal/inability to act.
In order to fix this, Ranpo uses Yosano's glasses. The lens he's seeing through has changed. The people in the Agency were initially "his" in that they were meant to support Ranpo, the special one "chosen" by Fukuzawa's glasses, the reason for the Agency's existence in the first place. But now the people in the Agency are "his" in that they are his to protect. He's their big brother they all look up to in a way, and as the big brother, he's got to take responsibility for their safety.
Why did this not stand out in the moment? Well, we learn something about Ranpo from Untold Origins: he's very good at pretending he's doing okay and things aren't bothering him as much as they are. He's able to hold it together up until it all comes spilling out of him during the play. Also, I do think Ranpo cares about people a good deal more than he'd have you believe. A common fanon thing about Ranpo (from what I've seen) is that he tends to forget people, which, I can see how one would come to that conclusion, but I actually think it's completely wrong. I don't think Ranpo's forgotten a single person he's accused. I don't think he's forgotten a single person he's helped.
He lied about not remembering Poe, in fact, he remembered him pretty fondly as a real challenge. He remembers the information on a person from the Special Division he was asked to look into and gave the info to Mushitarou to allow him an in. He recognizes an officer he'd helped, and it's implied he recognizes every single officer who had been present while he was working on cases in the past. Does this mean he cares about all of them? ...eh. Probably not. But it does mean that Ranpo keeps a lot of his cards close to his chest. He's disarming with his intentional childishness. And so it can be difficult for the characters and readers both to notice that events like Yosano's almost-death... actually bothered him a lot more than he let on.
Because it was his fault. Because she was his responsibility. Because he's supposed to be invincible.
And unfortunately, the story from here on out does not get any kinder to Ranpo as his safe bubble that is the Agency is repeatedly targeted in ways that are increasingly hard to repair.
Fukuzawa falls ill and nearly dies in Cannibalism arc.
A girl gets blown up and Kunikida ends up in jail because Fyodor managed to manipulate Ranpo's intel.
Mushitarou is believed to have been shot and killed trying to warn Ranpo about the Decay of Angels plan.
Taneda bleeds out from a stab wound and falls into a coma. Ranpo can do nothing but listen and cannot get him help.
The amount of times Ranpo has seen people nearly die in front of him... bro it's almost as bad as Kunikida.
Much like Kunikida having extreme faith in his lofty ideals which make him fall just that much harder when he fails to uphold them, Ranpo has practically zero self-doubt and complete and utter confidence in his abilities... so when problems arise, Ranpo is very harsh on himself. He takes the blame because he's supposed to be better than that. Because he is the one with the powerful "ability" that should never fail.
In this sense, Ranpo's position in the Agency reminds me a lot of a certain person in the Port Mafia, someone who also has a powerful skill he puts towards protecting his own, someone who also received life changing words from the boss which earned him his loyalty, and someone who would do anything to defend the only place in the world he feels secure.
I think there's definitely a reason Cannibalism arc had Ranpo and Chuuya face off, I'm just saying. Both of them ostracized and thrown out as young teens by people who should've been looking out for them. Both the instigators of that arc, proactive and desperate to protect the person they are most loyal to who changed their perspectives. They've even got the same power stance, look. :P
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[ID: Two panels from the Bungou Stray Dogs manga. The first is a panel of Ranpo with the silhouette of Fyodor behind him. He is standing with his hands in his pockets, facing front with his head tilted back and to the left a little, a fierce expression on his face and his cloak billowing outwards. The second is a panel of Chuuya standing in a similar manner, arms crossed, facing front with a fierce expression as his coat billows out around him. End ID.]
Of course, there's more interesting comparisons and contrasts to be drawn between them, but I'm focusing on Ranpo in this analysis, so I think I've made my point. Chuuya is the Port Mafia's best martial artist. Ranpo is the Agency's strongest man. And that places a burden of responsibility on them that they both believe they must uphold. They're both ready and willing to do whatever it takes.
The thing is though, is that Ranpo doesn't actually have an ability. When up against someone like Chuuya, he is at a distinct disadvantage, and he knows it. "Regular people can't defeat ability users". But he's still going to come up with a way to do it anyways, and why?
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[ID: A screencap from the Bungou Stray Dogs anime. The members of the Agency all stand around Ranpo, who is seated at his desk with a smile, one hand holding his cap, the other held up in a casual gesture. The image is filtered in a soft light. End ID.]
Because his friends think he's invincible.
If Ranpo wants to maintain his safe place in a world of fear, then he has to step up to defend it, and he has to get creative about it. And that's exactly what he does. Ranpo becomes steadily more active throughout the story, which is a huge change from the start, where he had to be practically bribed to help at all. I see a lot of people point out his channeling of Fyodor's tactics to secure Kunikida's release, which is definitely a dark turn for his character, but it's not the only change.
Ranpo is now choosing to place his faith in others, the first obvious instance of this being his use of Poe's novels - which was how he defeated Chuuya. Ranpo knows that he is not going to succeed against people who drastically overpower him all alone, even if he does still take things on as personal burdens. He's also far more obvious about his protectiveness, going on the rescue himself to save the Agency members, driving a car (whereas before he needed someone to take transit with him - another indication of his increased proactivity since he's now literally driving instead of being driven), and bodily shoving Atsushi out of harm's way.
It all culminates in one of my favourite Ranpo scenes where he speaks at the conference to the police, who've worked with him before, where he asks if they will think for themselves - and tells everyone gathered there that anyone can be a detective if they think for themselves and look with their own eyes (!!!). He manages to get half the police force on his side, just through his words and his logic alone! Minoura assumes he somehow knew it would all work out, because, well, it's Ranpo. Ranpo knows everything.
But...
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[ID: An image from the Bungou Stray Dogs manga. Ranpo sits in the passenger seat of a car with an honest, helpless smile. End ID.]
He reveals he didn't know if his ploy would work at all. He had to trust that it would with no solid proof. He had to trust these people would use their heads and look beyond the obvious. He respects these people enough that he thinks at least some of them will make the right call.
Fourteen year old Ranpo, bitter and estranged from other people, would never. For him to have come such a long way is testament to the security that the Agency provided him with. In a way, Fukuzawa forming the Agency allowed Ranpo to "complete" his childhood in relative safety, so that when the world became hostile once again and his family destabilized, Ranpo had matured enough to meet it and defend himself and those he has a responsibility towards head on. The Agency is his family, and Ranpo cares for them enough that he puts his faith, not just in them, but in the people they put their faith in too.
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[ID: A panel from the Bungou Stray Dogs manga. Ranpo is kneeling in front of Fukuchi, who is sitting backwards on his chair to face him. End ID.]
...aaaaand then Fukuchi went and ruined it. Thanks, Fukuchi.
Ranpo again chooses to put his trust in someone without proof because Fukuzawa trusts him, only for that to have gotten thrown back into his face in the worst way possible. And it's in this regard, the trust aspect, that I think we'll see Ranpo develop as the story goes on.
Will he continue to show this tentative faith in people? Or will he begin to hyper-analyze, unwilling to trust again without proof?
If this arc gets resolved decently well, I think Ranpo will have no issue brushing this off as a one-time thing. However, if what I fear might happen does and Fukuzawa doesn't make it out of this arc... Ranpo will be destabilized.
I don't know that Ranpo would go "bad" per se. He likes the other Agency members. He cares about them - that's genuine. But if Fukuzawa dies, then Ranpo may begin to take darker actions in order to keep them safe, almost overprotective and harshly logical, with little room for blind trust or risks in the name of justice or honour. It may put him at odds with Kunikida, in that Ranpo may start to develop a strong "do what's necessary" mentality, even if that may be immoral. He may regress a little into his old trust issues.
However, I really don't think Ranpo will go too far down the path of darkness, even if the worst should happen. He's a lot tougher than he seems, and he has a good support system in the Agency. I guess it remains to be seen where Ranpo's story takes him next.
Until then...
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[ID: A screencap from the Bungo Stray Dogs anime. Ranpo sits in his chair in a cuter art style, having taken a bite from the pastry he has in his left hand. End ID.]
I love one good boy. :)
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smultronviol · 12 days
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Ppl going "waaahh unpopular opinion but Alice is kind of annoying and obnoxious and I don't think I'd like be her friend irl" is so funny to me bc like.
God forbid a cast of characters be multifaceted and have actual flaws and unpleasant aspects other than "grr angsty hero" and "whoops i'm so clumsy". Sometimes character dynamics and arcs need to be prioritized above "who would i personally be niceys with irl"
2. bro just WAIT until you hear about season 1 jon lol
#the magnus protocol#tmagp#season 1 jon was obnoxious and sometimes a straight up ASSHOLE and you were supposed to find him kinda grating!!!#yes alice IS a bit annoying and too much sometimes (esp in the first episodes) and i love that <3#like. its p obvious that she uses the over the top-thing as a shield (to push ppl away/as a defense mechanism/to avoid being vulnerable)#we see her drop the act sometimes w ppl like teddy and sam who she actually feels comfortable around (and who know and understand her)#but like. she's stuck in a job she hates and is kind of afraid of (she KNOWS smth abt the horrors and is keeping her head down to survive)#(shes obviously afraid of sam going to far bc she KNOWS its dangerous)#so yes her act gets too much sometimes and yes sometimes she crosses the line into straight up mean (esp against gwen)#(but their dynamic is a whole other can of worms)#but like. i'm pretty sure its supposed to be seen that way. the audience isnt supposed to just find her kooky funny#the facade is supposed to be dismantled by the viewer etc etc#kind of like SEASON 1 JON the obnoxious bastard!!!!!!!#like. if you ever think alice is too mean towards gwen pls listen to s1 jon again and how he speaks abt martin??#from a position as his boss no less? ngl i wanted to throttle him sometimes#you kinda forget abt it in the later seasons and if you only engage w fandom content. but like. go back and listen to the shit#he actually says. jesus christ man. i remember kinda hating him in the beginning#and to be clear i love jon! i think hes a great character!#and like. its almost as if his early season personality and facade was an important setup for his character development#and relationships with the other characters???#but anyway 'alice is kind of annoying' is not an unpopular opinion its literally the FUCKING POINT#and both her and jon are my sweet baby angels <3#alice dyer#jon sims#(and obviouslyyy you're still allowed to dislike a character ppl can have their own opinions etc etc etc. i just personally find it funny)
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blairaptor · 7 months
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Sarge ❤️🖤🔪
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henwilsonmd · 1 year
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post 6x18: some out-of-order vignettes | ao3
4251 words
“Buck,” said Eddie, trying to school his face into something less fond and amused. “That’s my couch.”
Buck turned from where he’d been happily showing off the new piece of furniture he’d gotten with Natalia the day prior. “What?”
“The couch,” Eddie repeated, with a quirk of his eyebrow. “You bought my exact couch.”
“No,” Buck replied with a shake of his head. “No, it’s definitely different.”
read on ao3
Eddie looked at it—a three-seater in dark blue, velvet-y fabric with square corners and deep seats to accommodate his long legs. They’d picked out some nice white decorative pillows for it, and it’s certainly brand-new looking, but—
“It’s totally the same.” Eddie gave up on hiding his smile.
Buck looked back to the couch, tilting his head to scrutinize it. After a moment, he sighed, planting his hands on his hips. “Ah, fuck. It’s totally the same.”
Eddie groaned, letting his head thump back onto the edge of the cot behind him. “The pain meds are definitely kicking in.”
“Well, good,” snarked Buck from a chair next to him, attention half-focused on his phone in his hands. “That’s what they’re supposed to do.”
Eddie sighed, long-suffering. “You too?”
“Yes, Eddie, me too.” Buck replied, thumbs flying as he tapped out something on the screen in his hands. Probably to Maddie. Probably about Chim. Who was probably okay. “Your ribs are fucking broken.”
“Yeah,” Eddie said, staring at the ceiling. “And I know what they feel like. I’m fine, there was—other stuff going on.” He thought about that paramedic from the 133 shining a penlight into Hen’s eyes, frowning like he didn’t like the results and going back in to do it again. He thought about the constant jitter of Buck’s leg next to him, the constant worry for Bobby and Chimney who’d taken the other two ambulances before the three of them had managed to squeeze into another cab. “Besides,” Eddie pulled himself back on track. “Did you even get checked out?” He leveled Buck with a look that he hoped had more energy behind it than he had left.
Buck shrugged, powering off his phone with a click. “I’m fine.”
“There’s blood all over your face,” Eddie pointed out.
“Hen cleaned most of it up already.”
“There was more?”
“That’s—Eddie, I’m fine,” Buck said, turning towards him. “I scraped up my cheek and bit my tongue when I fell, and, sure, I’ll be a little bruised, but I’m fine.”
“You lost consciousness,” Eddie pointed out, and he swallowed around a dry throat.
“How… how did you know that?” Buck stuttered in reply.
Eddie gave his own shrug, picking at the edge of the right kneepad on his turnout pants. “I didn’t pass out. I radioed right after I’d gotten my bearings, but no one answered. Then, like, thirty seconds later you must have woken up.”
Buck, for a moment, held Eddie’s gaze with something so unbelievably devastated, and guilty—like the thought of not being able to answer Eddie’s call was the worst possible thing that had happened that day. Then he flicked his eyes down to the floor. “Okay, s-so, like, thirty seconds. I’m fine, Eddie. Really.”
Eddie frowned, thinking about those thirty seconds—an unbearable weight on his back, a growing pain in his chest, and the clawing panic as he listened to the silence stretching out on the other side of the radio and fought the mounting urge to plead, I’m still alive, please, I’m still alive down here.
And then how he’d breathed a hugely painful sigh of relief when Buck finally asked for a headcount, how he’d fumbled into his pocket for his St. Christopher medal and prayed—something he hadn’t done since that awful week of the coma. Prayed that he’d come home safe to his son, but also that Buck would be careful—that he wouldn’t do something stupid and destructive and reckless to save any of them.
That heady rush of gratitude when Buck had sawed the doors open, taking off his safety goggles and assessing Eddie’s situation with a calculating, heavy gaze.
Next to him, Buck cleared his throat, shifting in the chair. “Anyway, you broke three ribs, man. Let the meds do their job.”
Eddie huffed a laugh, leaning back into the pillows behind him. “Trust me, they are.”
Eddie sipped his Diet Coke, beer off-limits because he was still taking the Tylenol threes. “So, you finally got a new couch.”
“I had a couch before,” Buck pointed out, a matching soda in his hand for solidarity. “Kameron just—y’know, gave birth all over it.”
“Yeah,” Eddie said, snorting a soft laugh. “That must have been wild.”
Buck chuckled. “The baby didn’t want to wait, I guess.”
“Impatient little guy,” Eddie said. “Must be those Buckley genes.”
“Hey,” Buck protested, pointing a finger. “I can be plenty patient.”
“Sure,” Eddie agreed placatingly, but be noticed how there seemed to be something more behind the mirth in Buck’s eyes—the plastic pieces at the edges of his smile. He fought the urge to say I told you so—mostly because it would have been childish, but also because Buck hadn’t asked for his opinion at any step of the way, and Eddie hadn’t offered.
Eddie decided to wait him out—usually the best course of action when it came to Buck. Eddie understood intimately how much time it could take to parse through a mess of feelings in your brain and formulate them into words that would make sense to another person. Usually, Eddie would sit quietly and sip his beer while watching Buck’s feelings play out on his unguarded face, and after a minute or two Buck would haltingly begin to explain what had been going on with him.
Eddie had tried to explain that to Maddie when they’d both been nearly sick with worry over Buck’s post-coma mental state. “He’ll come to you when he’s ready,” Eddie had said over the phone. “You can’t force him to talk about it.”
“Eddie, you don’t know him like I do,” Maddie had protested. “He shouldn’t be alone right now.”
And Eddie had opened his mouth to say no, actually, I know him better than you, I know him better than anyone, but—that’s not true, is it? Why would Eddie know Buck better than his own sister, who’s spent the entire thirty years of his life caring for him, when Eddie’s only had him for—what, five years? Then subtract all the things they didn’t talk to each other about and all the issues they’ve had, and—yeah, who is Eddie to say what’s best for Buck?
And then Buck had knocked on his door and passed out on his couch and Eddie had felt righteously vindicated in a way that he almost wanted to rub in Maddie’s face, which was kind of bitchy of him to think.
So, Buck sipped his soda next to Eddie on his new couch, a storm of emotions clear on his face, and Eddie waited him out because that’s what he does.
Buck let out a sigh, and Eddie thought, here it is, he’ll let me in, and then— “Want to watch the Dodgers game?”
Eddie blinked. “Um, sure.”
And Buck turned on the TV.
Doubt roiled in Eddie’s gut.
“What about Hen?” Eddie asked, Buck’s hand tight on his arm as he helped him into the passenger seat of the Jeep.
“Karen already took her home, she’s fine,” Buck replied easily, before he shut the door and rounded the front of the car.
He’d left when Eddie had been taken back for x-rays, taking an Uber back to the station to pick up his car so he could come back to get Eddie and drive them both home. Eddie absently wondered when he would get a chance to get his truck from the station parking lot.
Buck hopped into the driver’s seat, fitting his keys in the ignition but pausing before turning the engine. He fixed Eddie with a gentle, reassuring look. “Seriously, man, everyone’s fine. Athena’s with Bobby, Maddie’s with Chim, let’s go home.”
Eddie swallowed, biting the inside of his cheek as he thought about just how close literally every single one of them except Ravi had come to something far more serious than some hospital bills and time off work.
His gaze slid to Buck, who flashed him that small, soft, close-mouthed smile that Eddie rarely saw—the one that made his chest feel warm and gooey.
“Okay. Let’s go home.”
The Dodgers were losing, and Buck wasn’t talking about it. Eddie tried not to either of those things get to him.
During a commercial break, Buck got up to throw their empty pizza boxes away, waving Eddie off as he moved to help.
When he came back into the living room, he paused under the overhang of the loft, just staring at Eddie.
“What?” he asked, a bit self-conscious.
Buck huffed a laugh, shaking his head. “I can’t believe I bought your couch.”
Eddie snorted. “Don’t worry about it, man. It’s flattering. You think I have good taste.”
Buck raised an eyebrow. “I don’t know if that’s it. Half the furniture in your house is from Target.”
Eddie sputtered. “I—what’s wrong with Target furniture?”
Buck, lowering himself back onto the cushions next to Eddie, raised his hands in a show of innocence. “Nothing, man. I just—I don’t know if I would call it good taste.”
Having no comeback, Eddie just whacked him in the shoulder.
Buck laughed, playfully pushing his hand away. “Hey, c’mon, don’t start shit when I can’t retaliate.”
Eddie smirked. “Why? ‘Cause you know you can’t take me?”
“No,” Buck denied. “’Cause your ribs are still fucking broken.”
Eddie rolled his eyes. “I’m fine, Buck.”
“Well.” Buck crossed his arms, turning back to the TV as the next inning started. “Forgive me for wanting to be careful.”
For a moment, Eddie considered saying hey, maybe we should talk about how I could’ve almost died again? But Buck clearly wasn’t in the mood to talk about the big things, and Eddie didn’t really want to think about that yet either, so he settled for bumping their shoulders together.
Buck leaned right back into him, and neither of them moved apart—the comforting warmth of the contact buzzing in Eddie’s brain like the alcohol he wasn’t drinking.
Eddie smiled down at his hands. “You like my couch,” he teased.
“Yeah, yeah,” Buck groused, slouching into the cushions as they watched a batter swing and miss yet again. “Don’t let it go to your head.”
“Are you sure you’re both alright?” Carla asked, a worried hand hovering over his elbow. “I caught some of the collapse on the news.”
Eddie flashed her a smile before turning to pour two glasses of water—one for him and one for Buck, who was off in Christopher’s room. “We’re okay,” he said. “A little banged up, but the doctors said I should be back to work in six weeks or less.”
Carla narrowed her eyes. “You better take that full six weeks.”
Eddie set the Brita down and met her gaze. “I’m fine, Carla. Really.”
She sighed, crossing her arms. “I just—I worry about you, Eddie. Okay? I know you’d rather I didn’t, but I can’t help it.”
Eddie ducked his head and smiled, a bit, filled with that familiar half-disbelief that people really do care about him. “I know it doesn’t look like it, but—I was lucky today. That nothing worse happened, that—that Buck was there to pull me out.”
Carla scoffed. “Of course he was. I don’t think luck had anything to do with that one.”
Eddie tried to fight the blush off his cheeks—he didn’t know what to do with that. Carla’s surety that Buck would save him come hell or high water. His own surety that Buck would be ripping open the doors of that camper van any second now.
When she realized he wasn’t going to say anything, Carla cleared her throat. “I should go. You up for a hug?”
“From you?” Eddie responded easily. “Always.”
Carla pulled him into a gentle-but-still-desperate embrace. “Okay, I’ll get out of your hair.” With a frown, she brought a hand up to ruffle the wilting mess on Eddie’s head. “Your dusty-ass hair. Take a shower, alright?”
Eddie laughed. “Alright, alright.”
“It’s a little early for a welcome back party, don’t you think?” Eddie said as Athena hugged him in greeting, Christopher heading off in search of the other kids.
“You and Bobby are headed back tomorrow,” Athena pointed out.
“Yeah, and Chimney’s not back for another two weeks.”
“And you best believe I’ll throw another party for him.”
Eddie laughed, before venturing further into the house to greet everyone else. His ribs had healed perfectly, barely a twinge when he’d thrown himself onto the couch in triumph yesterday. Which—speaking of, Eddie’s phone was burning a hole in his pocket and he was doing a very good job of ignoring that.
Or, he was, until a lull in conversation found him standing alone in the kitchen and pulling it out of his jeans. No texts. Which—of course, they’d agreed to go for coffee after his shift on Friday, why would she text him before that—but, still. Eddie was nervous. Sue him.
His thumbs hover over the keyboard for a moment while he debates if it’s too much of a desperate move to text Marisol before they even go on a date. Christopher would know.
“Who are you texting?” asked a voice, and Eddie fumbled to turn off his phone and shove it in his pocket before someone could see… what?
He looked up to see Buck smiling at his antics, a beer in hand.
“Oh, it’s you,” Eddie sighed, leaning against the counter.
Buck sidled over to join him, staring out the windows at the backyard where the party was in full swing. “Just me. Sorry, didn’t mean to scare you.”
“It’s fine,” Eddie replied, for some reason hoping desperately that Buck wouldn’t ask him about—
“So,” Buck nudged an elbow into his arm. “Who were you texting?”
—fuck. Eddie wasn’t sure why this felt like something he didn’t want to tell Buck, to whom he tells everything, but… they don’t really talk about their girlfriends? It was always, always awkward, and it always left him with a sour taste in his mouth.
But, Eddie’s excited about this. Marisol probably won’t be the one, or whatever, but—still. Eddie was excited that his brain was finally in a place where he could think about opening up his life to someone and it wouldn’t send him into a panic attack that landed him in the ER.
And Buck asked.
And Eddie’s not in the habit of saying no to him.
“Um,” he started. “Do you remember Marisol? From the—”
“—yeah, yeah!” Buck cut him off. “So, you were texting her?” He raised his eyebrows, a knowing glint in his gaze.
Eddie blushed. “Yeah, uh… we’re going on a date?” he said quietly, a pit of dread or something similar opening in his gut.
Buck was quiet for a moment, and Eddie risked a glance at his face. He just caught the edge of something shocked and maybe fearful in his expression before it cleared and was replaced by one of those huge, sunny smiles.
“Eddie!” Buck exclaimed. “That’s great! Oh my god, man, this is awesome,” he enthused, slinging an arm around Eddie’s shoulders and squeezing him close.
“Yeah,” Eddie chuckled, still unsure why part of him felt sick with guilt.
“Hey, ever notice how we always start dating at the same time?”
“No, do we?” Eddie lied, thinking about how he’d agonized over making the call and kept telling himself Buck’s with Natalia now, you should do this.
Buck laughed again, before he jolted with surprise and turned to Eddie, excitedly slapping him on the arm. “Dude! We can go on double dates now!”
Eddie frowned. “We didn’t last time.”
Buck shrugged. “Well, you didn’t like Taylor, so I figured—”
“I liked Taylor,” Eddie protested.
Buck snorted. “Uh, no, you didn’t.”
Eddie tilted his head in a you-got-me face. “I kind of didn’t. I thought you didn’t notice.”
Buck dropped his arm around Eddie’s shoulders again, making Eddie huff out a breath. “Oh, Edmundo, I always notice.”
No you don’t, Eddie thought, and then he ignored that.
“But,” Buck continued, a hesitation in his voice. “You—you like Natalia, right?”
Eddie didn’t really know her at all, except for how excited she’d been about Buck’s death-that-didn’t-stick and how angry that had made him. “Yeah,” Eddie lied again. “She’s good for you. And she has good taste in couches.”
Buck laughed, relieved. “Good. So—we’ll do a double date, yeah? Me, you, Natalia, Marisol.”
Fuck, no. Eddie thought. That sounds awful.
“Yeah, sure,” Eddie said instead. “That sounds great.”
Eddie was in the kitchen, pre-heating the oven to heat up some frozen chicken tenders because he didn’t have the energy to cook anything else when he felt little arms wrap gently around his midsection. It hurt his ribs, but Eddie didn’t have the heart to dislodge his son—not when these hugs were becoming rarer and rarer each day.
“Hey, kid,” Eddie said, turning in the hold and dropping a hand onto Christopher’s head. “What’s up?”
Eddie had already seen him, when he popped his head into Christopher’s room to find him sitting with Buck, a careful hand brushing the wounds on the man’s cheek. The sight had made something massive and unknowable bloom inside Eddie’s broken chest, threatening to choke him. He’d tamped it down and hugged Chris hello before heading off to shower, but apparently that hadn’t been enough.
Chris looked up, propping his chin on Eddie’s sternum. “I’m glad you’re okay,” he said, a tightness in his voice betraying him.
Eddie smiled. “Me too.” Even though it sparked the ache in his side into a bona-fide pain, Eddie leaned over to drop a kiss onto Christopher’s head—something he barely tolerates anymore. “Hey, the doctors said I’d be good as new in six weeks. Think you can deal with having me around all the time for that long?”
Chris laughed, bright and happy, and Eddie’s heart sang. “I’ll try,” he joked, and then something clouded passed over his face. “Buck’s okay, too, right? His face is bloody.”
“Oh, buddy,” Eddie sighed. Usually, he would kneel down to meet Christopher’s gaze, but he settled for easing himself into a chair and ignoring the concerned look Chris was giving him. “Buck’s totally fine, he just got scraped up a little bit. And today was pretty—pretty scary. For both of us.” He swallowed down the urge to berate himself for telling his kid he was scared, and it seemed to be the right move, because Chris nodded along with wide, careful eyes.
Eddie sighed again, settling his hands on his son’s shoulders. “But—tell you what. Buck’s gonna stay with us tonight, and he’s pretty bad at taking care of himself, right?” Chris giggled at that, and Eddie smiled in response. “So you and I are gonna have to be sneaky about taking care of him tonight, okay?”
Eddie expected Chris to give another sweet smile, and maybe to offer some comfort so earnest and childlike in its innocence that it made everything in the world feel right again, so he wasn’t quite sure to do when Chris burst out into loud, raucous laughter.
“Okay, what’s so funny?” he said, playing at being annoyed.
“It’s just,” Chris managed through his massive smile. “That’s exactly what Buck said. About you!”
Eddie just blinked in response, and Chris fell into peals of laughter again. “Okay,” Eddie said with mock-offense. “Okay, I see how it is. Gang up on the injured guy, why don’t you.”
“Da-ad,” Chris whined, fixing him with a very grown-up look. “We just care about you.”
Eddie pursed his lips, that unknown emotion threatening to drown him again. “Yeah,” he said, more choked-up than he would like. “I know.”
A small hand covered his, and Eddie flipped his own over to give it a squeeze. “Why don’t you go put on the next episode of María, okay? We’ll translate for Buck.”
Chris smirked. “You mean you’ll translate for Buck.”
“Hey, don’t sell yourself short, kid,” Eddie offered as Chris disappeared into the living room.
And later, when they were all piled on the couch, Christopher giggling at Eddie’s half-assed translations and Buck protesting that he understands more Spanish than you think, guys, the newest dose of pain meds forced upon him by Buck making his head more than a bit fuzzy, Eddie thought to himself: I wish it could be like this forever.
Buck shouted in exaggerated outrage to make Chris laugh, gesturing at some ridiculous plot point playing out on the screen, and Eddie let that huge wave of feeling bowl him over—that world-ending, all-consuming love.
Just this. Forever.
“Hold on, let me get this straight,” Hen said, a hand raised to keep Eddie quiet. “He has this whole thing about his girlfriends being couches, and the couch he finally bought is your couch?”
Feeling somehow embarrassed, Eddie just nodded. Hen shared a smirk with Chimney, sitting on the lawn chair that Maddie hadn’t let him move from for the entire party.
“That’s like—almost romantic,” Chimney snorted.
“What?” Eddie said.
“He’s been looking for the perfect couch, but it was yours all along!” Chim crowed, and Hen dissolved into giggles. She was definitely more than a little drunk.
“It’s so sweet, Eddie, come on,” she needled.
“Well, sure, but—” Eddie sputtered. “—romantic? Come on, guys.”
“No, you—you come on.” Hen said around a hiccup. “You guys are—Buck and Eddie! Eddie and Buck!”
“Yeah,” Eddie replied with a frown. “And you guys are Hen and Chim.”
“Nah, no, no, no,” Chim said with a wagging finger. “It’s not the same.”
“How is it not the same?” Eddie threw his hands in the air, one hampered by the half-full bottle in his hand. “You guys are partners, just like us.”
“Yeah, but,” Hen said. “You guys are partners,” she explained, trying for some hand gesture that must have gotten lost in the all the alcohol and rush of the party because she just ended up clasping her hands together awkwardly.
“You guys are crazy,” Eddie said with a long-suffering shake of his head.
“And you’re crazy about Buck,” Hen said in an it’s-so-obvious whisper.
Eddie drew back. “What?”
“Hen—” Chimney started, a hand on her arm.
She shook him off. “No, I gotta—Eddie, you and Buck are like, perfect for each other. You love him, right?” Her eyes were wide and earnest behind her glasses.
“Of course I do,” Eddie said automatically.
Hen gestured emphatically, whacking Chim on the shoulder like this proved her point.
“Hen,” Eddie said gently. “Did you forget that I’m straight?”
Hen scowled, like she did not want to be reminded of this fact. “Okay, but like—if Buck was a girl, you would have asked him out by now. You’d be like—fucking married by now.”
Eddie opened his mouth to respond, but found his mind stuck on Hen’s words. If Buck was a girl. Him and Buck, married. Eddie felt far drunker than he should be off just one and a half beers.
“Eddie, ignore her,” Chim cut in.
Hen frowned. “I’m going to find Karen,” she declared.
Eddie watched her retreating form, unsticking his tongue from the roof of his mouth. “He’s my best friend,” he said belatedly.
“Eddie.” Chimney kicked his leg. “Ignore her, okay? She’s drunk.”
“Yeah, but—” Eddie started.
“Look,” Chim sighed. “We joke about you and Buck sometimes, okay?”
“You do?” Eddie asked.
“Little stuff,” Chimney assured. “Just, like, you’re each other’s favorite person and you’re missing what’s right in front of you, or whatever.”
Eddie opened his mouth to respond, to refute—what?—but Chim continued.
“But they’re just jokes, okay? We know you’re both straight. I mean, it’d be great if you weren’t, or whatever, but that’s not the world we live in.”
Eddie’s jaw closed with a click. He sipped his beer.
“He’s your best friend.” Eddie looked back to Chimney. “And that’s—” He seemed to search Eddie’s face for a moment. “That’s enough, right?”
Eddie swallows. “Yeah. Why wouldn’t it be?”
“Exactly,” Chim agreed with an easy smile. “So, don’t worry about it, okay? She’s just drunk and forgot that we don’t make those jokes in front of you guys.”
Eddie nodded. “Right. Besides, Buck has a girlfriend, and—I have a date on Friday, so…”
“You have a date on Friday?” Chimney exclaimed. “That’s great!”
“Yeah,” Eddie agreed, voice flat.
Chimney clapped him on the forearm, unable to reach his shoulder from his sitting position. “Look, man, you’ll find that perfect girl-version of Buck out there, okay? I believe.”
Eddie chuckled. “Sure.”
He looked out to the party—his eyes immediately found Buck, head thrown back in laughter at something Athena had said. The string lights of the backyard made his styled curls shine with a honey-colored fire, his fingers curled carelessly around the neck of a beer bottle made Eddie’s mouth feel suddenly dry.
Just this. Just you, Eddie thought.
“You’re right,” he said to Chimney with a hollow smile. “I’ll find someone.”
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akai-anna · 7 months
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Random Things I Love About Kudou Shinichi (an incomplete list)
The fact he is such an absolute simp for Mouri Ran, totally besotted, UTTERLY WHIPPED.
How he is never immune to Mouri Ran's (AKA the love of his life's) beauty. You can literally let him be in the presence of other women in varying state of undress (in a bathroom, on the beach and so on), and he would still notice One Mouri Ran And ONE MOURI RAN ONLY. Also the fact 1) he cannot handle the sight of Ran naked without getting a nosebleed and 2) he can identify Ran's body shape and legs ON SIGHT (both consciously and unconsciously).
Him being an endless well of random facts and knowledge.
How perceptive he can be.
How Shinichi blushes SO MUCH (and especially when Ran is involved).
*YELLS INTO MEGAPHONE AT FULL VOLUME* PROTECTIVENESS
Him being so dedicated to saving lives, him being competent, and trying to give the best possible first aid he can.
Him being the the most excited lil fanboy when it comes to the things he loves (be it soccer or Sherlock Holmes and anything in between).
Him Spouting Poetic Shit like it's nothing
Not Being Able To Shut Up and leave things without Comment TM
The fact he is so good at playing soccer and how playing with a soccer ball can clear his head.
HIS SENSITIVE HEARING AND SENSITIVE LITTLE NOSE.
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itsindiana · 8 days
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gang i don't know what to do with myself i need more than 2 more bad batch episodes . c'mere and yap about anything bad batch / clone / etc etc related i need to feel alive
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revenantghost · 9 months
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youtube
STOP EVERYTHING YOU'RE DOING
THERE'S A TRISTAMP VASH MMD
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beej-machinations · 10 months
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Red Dwarf Text Posts 10/??
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theminecraftbee · 2 months
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incidentally if you don't see much of me for a bit: side order has reminded me that i do, in fact, DEEPLY enjoy splatoon 3, lol, and i am maybe a touch distracted by that,
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mattodore · 9 months
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theo and matthias with a tiny baby :')
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