Do you have any plans for Kuron in QS?

I feel like he ended up getting the short end of the stick in canon because he did seem to genuinely like and bond with the Paladins and was forced to turn against them by Haggar, only to be killed by having his mind erased and to have Shiro take over his body.

honestly i wasn't even going to put him in, because i don't like pretty much. anything about the clone storyline and how it fits into canon. like i DO agree with you that kuron really got fucked over and i would like to maybe write some fic with him in the future but since quintenary stars is like. My Ideal Voltron Story (tm) he probably won't be in it just because i don't know if i can involve him without also involving all the stupid things that happened With him (such as shiro being dead, his illness being erased, the team not really being A Team, etc etc.) really the only thing storywise that i liked about the kuron arc was the keithvshiro fight and i already have plans to incorporate that into qs without the clone bullshit lmao

Certified enemies to lovers lover here, so for the BL romance trope ask game, could you tell me about 1?

Ooh bestie thank you for giving me an excuse to air my grievances about this trope. Because it is SO RARELY DONE RIGHT. Call me controversial, but I believe a true execution of this trope requires the pair to be actual enemies and the narrative to put in the work and show how that relationship would evolve over time, taking them on a believable journey from hate to love.

Most so-called ETL dramas devolve in one of two ways: 1) the "enemies" are revealed to be not actually enemies at all (usually via the reveal that at least one of them is actually a long-term piner, Bad Buddy is a prime example) or 2) have a weak "enemy" set up to begin with, and very quickly move out of the enemy dynamic to transition to standard cute bl fluff (ala Big Dragon). This doesn't make them bad shows! But it does make them weak examples of this trope despite the way they are often held up as exemplars.

There have been precious few true ETL bls. Really only two good ones come to mind:

History 3: Trapped

Tang Yi and Meng Shao Fei are enemies, on the real real. A cop and a gangster who are trying to outsmart each other. Shao Fei's actual job is to take Tang Yi down. And their relationship begins to change via a series of Situations that believably shift their relationship over time. It all feels authentic and because we see how and why their feelings change over time, it is completely believable and rootable. And crucially, the show never forgets the complications of who they are and the obligations they each have--which is why we get a realistic ending for them that results in Tang Yi's incarceration and an indefinite separation.

Semantic Error

The enemy set up in this one isn't quite as strong as Trapped, but it has the crucial element: these two actually, truly do not like each other when they first meet, and they are set up as adversaries when Sangwoo torpedoes Jaeyoung's graduation plans. They only start to like each other because Jaeyoung is enacting a revenge plan that puts them in close proximity to get to know and understand each other better, and we see how their feelings shift as they are forced to work together and connect across their differences. It's a really smart, zippy little ETL that uses the trope well for conflict.

Send me a number and I’ll post the best and/or my fave show that uses that trope

About the fanfic trope ask game, I think I need to ask for Time-Travel 👀

There's of course the Time-Travel Fix-it (which I think is the most prevalent type?) but also the Time Loop subcategory... 🤔👀

Hah! You, asking about time travel? Who would have thought?

B+

Time travel's an interesting one because it's more prevalent in some fandoms than others. My three main "fanfic" fandoms over the years were LOTR, BBC Sherlock, and the MCU, with small doses of Dishonored (a video game) and Harry Potter.

Of those five, the time travel trope seems most prevalent in the MCU. I imagine it's definitely around in Harry Potter, but I didn't encounter it too much as most of my HP stuff was with crossovers. But generally speaking, I didn't have much experience with time travel until the MCU. The closest it came to in LOTR was reincarnations in the modern world (a couple of which were just awesome... I need to find those stories again and see if they were as good as my memory thinks they were. Sort of afraid to look deeper into it just in case I end up disappointed though).

Anyway!

A lot with tropes are less about the trope itself and more about its execution. I don't tend to comb AO3 for tropes or pairings, but characters instead, for instance. But when I see this tag on a Stephen-centric fic, I'm usually really interested. I only duck out if it's a "Tony's the center of the universe and he's never wrong" piece, which unfortunately accompanies this trope fairly often. Where the fuck are my time-travel Avengers as Family fix-it pieces, people? And yes, I mean *all* of the OG! Stephen's just now a part of them.

(They exist in very small numbers, which is why I'm writing one myself, once my current series is finished. Expect it around 2026 at my current rate of writing.)

I'll take both the time loop and time-travel categories. Again it's totally about execution rather than the trope itself.

Some favorites include:

The asker's own fucking masterpiece, which must be finished if you want me to live a happy and healthy life, no pressure.

Born Of The Same Impulse by GwendolynStacy (she only wrote Stephen like, once, and I just thank God that she decided to do so as this is still in my top 3 long fics to this day)

By the End of Today by Imagined (here's an author I hope is inspired to come back to the MCU one of these days - one of my favorite "wrote more than a couple MCU fics" authors, but alas, she's been devoured by another fandom)

Shout out as well to The End of Infinity by FriendlyNeighborhoodFangirls for being an over 900,000 word time-travel IronStrange fix it, combined with Team as Family dynamics. It's honestly too long for me to read fully but I've skimmed it and it's good if you like the tropes it presents. I might read it in full once it's finished (yeah, it's *not finished*), but for now it's a bit too much. Her shorter works are good, too--and a wee bit more manageable haha. Recommended.

There are a couple newer IronStrange WIPs that I want to add here, but they haven't gotten to Steve Rogers and the Accords yet, so I'm waiting to see how the authors handle that. Neither of them are tagged "not Steve friendly" currently, but if say that Steve was trying to kill Tony in Siberia and terribly wounded him in their version of canon and left him to die, I'm gonna politely ask that they add the not Steve friendly tag and be very sad that they went that... let's say fanon route. So we'll see. (And yes, I have an excellent essay on why that's not canonical for Steve and thus not Steve friendly, thanks for asking ;-) ).

But yeah. That's all about time travel and the slight rant that accompanies it.

Original: Ask me to grade a trope.

my initial thoughts on SNW S2E6 "Lost in Translation:"

i liked it! one of the better ones in season 2 so far. i have a lot of things to say about it

-yippee uhura-centric episode!

-the whole "that thing is actually alive!" plot is very star trek. personally i love this plot so i don't mind seeing it again! i think the hallucination aspect makes it unique enough. however, we consumers of sci-fi television will see it coming from a million kellicams away. since we're genre-savvy and the characters aren't, that has the unintentional consequence of making uhura look kinda dumb, since it took so so so long to get to the foregone conclusion of a reveal :(

-"lost in translation" made me so excited because yippee! translation! (i love linguistics) i really liked the part where uhura "translated" the aliens' message but it was very short. if it were up to me, that would take up more of the episode

-KIRK!!!! i don't know who had to sell their soul to achieve such good kirk characterization on strange new worlds of all shows, but a soul well spent!! he makes me so happy whenever he's on screen because that's him! that's James T. Kirk! (if only spock made me feel the same way...)

-really i will defend this hill. kirk is written (and acted!) SO well on this show!!!

-"but what about kirk slash spock???????" i'm hesitant to touch that with a ten foot pole. i have Opinions on this snw kirk/spock discourse but i won't discuss them here

-similarly spock and chapel. their scene was kinda weird??? and i'm also hesitant to touch this discourse so i'll leave it at that for now

-i think it's nice to revisit hemmer. like his death is still affecting the characters because of course it would!

-la'an my beloved <3 <3 <3 it was just one scene but <3 <3 <3

-chief kyle mention????????? (only the tos girlies care about that one. actually more likely only a very small subset of the tos girlies care about that one. but i do)

-pelia and una's subplot was good! stuff dealing with hierarchical/military discipline and the friction that can create when one adheres far more strictly than another? right up my alley! also pelia is awesome

-ok so this episode wants me to believe that Una is super strict and by-the-book and only cares about orders and regulations? actually laughed when pelia said that. NO ONE on this damn show cares about discipline! pike does not run a tight ship! it's a pet peeve of mine. i wish this were more than just an informed attribute because that would make me like una a lot more. imagine this: Pike, the laid-back captain, with his tight-laced Number One. what a great dynamic that would be! i mean it's kiiiiiiinda implied to be the dynamic but i'd like to see it

-the music in this episode was even better than usual. so so good. really good.

-also the refinery looked really cool

-i was really convinced that we wouldn't get a kirk and spock interaction in SNW.....i had hoped that we wouldn't......but alas, it has happened. right at the end. torn about the execution of this. on the one hand, it could have been worse. commiserating about sam is funny i guess. on the other hand this is an important moment, and it's almost unceremonious. then again if it had pomp and circumstance it would probably suck. so i'll go with "ok it could have been worse"

so yeah i had a lot of thoughts!

thanks @obsessivelymoody for tagging me! so glad I get to talk about my og love, books, for a bit again

1- how many books are too many books in a series?

once there’s more than 5 it had better be a goddamn good series or I will quit. unless it’s a (well-planned) children’s series, in which case I will happily accept more books.

2- what do you think about cliffhangers?

HATE THEM. also kiiinda love them? like I get very upset about them but I also get very excited about the next book (if it’s done right and I liked the book)

3- hardback or paperback?

paperbacks! hardbacks look nice but they take up a lot of space and weigh a lot, and they’re way more expensive too. at least I can hold a paperback in one hand, usually - and, importantly: afford it. I make an exception if it’s a newly released book I’ve been looking forward to for a long time, or if I have the rest of the series or other books by the same author in hardback, but other than that I prefer paperback. I’m not too fussy about keeping my books in good condition anyway.

4- least favourite book?

I don’t keep or remember (or keep reading) books I don’t like so no idea! ALTHOUGH now I think of it, The Discovery of Heaven by Harry Mulisch is definitely up there. I have a distinct hatred for that book in particular.

5- Love Triangle, yes or no?

if it’s done well - which it rarely is - yes! Even better if it ends in polyamory

6- the most recent book you just couldn’t finish

Reading Lolita In Tehran. I know this probably makes me a terrible non-woke person but also, I just couldn’t.

7- book you are currently reading

The Devil and the Dark Water by Stuart Turton, and Threads of Life by Clare Hunter

8- last book you recommended to someone

oh I actually genuinely don’t remember?? not a clue

9- oldest book you read

does the Epic of Gilgamesh count? I don’t think it gets a whole lot older than ancient Mesopotamia.

10- the most recent book you read ?

One Last Stop by Casey Mcquiston (both the last book I finished and the most recently published one)

11- favourite author?

prooobably Madeline Miller. I love both of her books a lot. But I’m also very hesitant to say someone is my favourite author because the more books they write the bigger the chance I won’t like some as much, or even fall out of love with their writing. This happened to me with Patrick Ness especially.

12- buying books or borrowing books?

both! I exchange a lot of books with friends, we borrow from each other and straight up give each other books all the time. I also love buying books, and am considering signing up for the local library again.

12- a book you dislike that everyone else seems to love

lmaooo there’s a lot of those, I don’t even know where to begin.

14 - bookmarks or dogears?

bookmarks!

15- The book you can always reread?

The Count of Monte Cristo by Alexandre Dumas. It tends to take me at least a whole year to actually read it because I keep putting it down for months on end, but I do really love it a whole lot.

16- can you read while listening to music?

yes, and in fact I struggle reading *without* music

17- one POV or multi POV?

Don’t particularly care either way. I can enjoy both, it’s just about the execution of it

18- do you read book in one sitting or in multiple days?

nowadays always in multiple days, sometimes months. adult life man. I remember the good ol’ days where I raced through entire massive books in a single day, but those days are long gone, alas.

19- who to tag:

@thewakeless @det395 @randomcat1832 and whoever else feels like doing this!

I’ve gotta say, I’m really enjoying these stories. Also, your late father sounds like an amazing man. I can really see the inspiration for LoLo come out in your mentions of him.

When my mother got pregnant with me - a planned pregnancy, they were young when they married but I was born 16 months later - my father knew from the get-go that he wanted a girl.

This was (and, I am sad to say, still is) an unusual thing for a father to wish for. Most fathers wish for a son. My Dad, however, was raised by a drunken, abusive, narcissistic man and he was afraid that if he had a son he’d just turn into his father. He thought a daughter would help him break that cycle of abuse. 

When I was born he told the nurse who brought me out to him in the waiting room that I was an angel, and Angel was the nickname that he alone called me.

He and I were very, very close, something that made my mother and younger brother jealous. (I didn’t really see or understand that until after he died when I was 26.)  There was nothing whatsoever or remotely sexual about it, which is what people usually assume when a father and daughter are very close. As my girlhood best friend said to me a few months ago, my father thought the sun rose and set on me, thought that I was his fairy princess. All of my odd, Autistic/ADHD weirdness was something he loved. I always knew he loved me not just despite my weirdness but because of it. (Something that my late wife did as well.)

My father was a brilliant man. He graduated high school at 15 and went into university to study architecture. Academically he handled it, but he was way too young to handle the social aspects as well as the responsibility of it and so he dropped out a year later. Things were apparently hellish with my grandfather and my Dad enlisted in the Army on his 18th birthday. This was 1965 and the US started sending soldiers to Vietnam. Not my Dad, though. He took some tests the military gave him and after boot camp spent his entire three years on a Nike missle base in the middle of Milwaukee, working on one of those huge old mainframe computers (you know, the kind with punch cards). I’m guessing they didn’t send the really smart ones off to be killed.

He taught himself how to be an architect through reading books at the library, including textbooks that he would sit and read at UC Berkeley’s library, even though he wasn’t a student there any longer. Then, after he had learned that, he read through engineering and physics textbooks. Then he read through every single book he could find that taught him how to actually build the structures he had learned to draw. He was completely self-taught, and the man not only designed and built complicated, Broadway-worthy theater sets he also designed and built houses from the ground up. He wanted to build a rock retaining wall at our house (which was located at the base of a hill and was on an incline) and so he went to the library and got a book about how Romans built walls and spent three years going to the local river to source variously-sized river rocks to build that retaining wall, which he did completely without any kind of mortar, just balancing the rocks perfectly. It’s still standing, 40 years later.

He always worked at very menial jobs - he was a line cook, a stocker in a supermarket produce department, an RV park manager, etc. He was terrible with money, didn’t understand it at all. We lived right on top of the poverty line. He had zero executive functioning and that caused a lot of problems for all of us and meant a lot of broken promises, too.

I am completely sure that like me, like both of his grandchildren, he had Autism and ADHD. Not diagnosed of course, they weren’t in those days, But he had them nevertheless.

He was a voracious reader and introduced me to sci fi and fantasy. On my eighth birthday he gave me his copies of The Lord of the Rings and had me read them. (This was 1977, trust me when I tell you those books were not a household name at that point.)  He’d wake me up at 3:30 am and we’d go fishing together, him with a thermos of black coffee, me with a bottle of orange juice and a box of Entenmann’s mixed donuts and we’d sit there in happy silence together, fishing and enjoying each other’s company. He was a wonderful storyteller and only once did he get angry with me. He never laid a hand on me or my brother but the one time he got angry with me he slapped me across the face and then the both of us cried.

He taught me many useful skills, like how to jimmy locks and how to walk through people unseen and how to learn on my own how to do things and how to make the world’s best pie. He always told me that I could absolutely anything I put my mind to. When I asked him once if that meant I could be a father - I was joking - he looked me straight in the eye and asked me if I actually wanted to be a father. When I told him no he responded that he had said if I had put my mind to it, and he wasn’t vouching for anything I pulled when I didn’t care.

He also told me that I was the strongest person he’d ever met and when I scoffed at that he shook his head and said, “Angel, most people see you and they have no idea at all what’s inside of you and what you are capable of. There is nothing in this life you won’t overcome. Someday, when we’re both dead, you come find me and tell me I’m wrong.” (So far, he has not been wrong.)

He was a functioning drunk; he only drank after 8 at night, however. Just enough to make sure he’d not be hungover in the morning. He was a night person and all his life only needed about 4 hours of sleep to be completely rested.

He loved movies but he hated to go alone and usually took me. Not all of these movies were appropriate for kids my age but there it was. When I was eleven he took me with him to see The Elephant Man and I broke down completely, devastated and sobbing, horrified at how cruel people were to the lead character, just because he was different. After the movie we sat in the car and he held me until I was done crying and when I was all done he told me to never forget how the movie had made me feel and to remember that no matter how different people were from me they were all human and deserved kindness, compassion and understanding. This was a lesson I have tried very hard to live throughout my life. He took people at face value, and that included everyone. I don’t think he was particularly woke based on 2021 sentiments but he tried very hard to treat people equally and that included queer people during the AIDS crisis, too.

He was a feminist and believed women should be equal to men. He walked the walk, too: he cooked, he cleaned, he changed diapers, etc. And by that I mean he did them as par for the course, as part of his daily life. He did not rely on my mother’s emotional labor to remind him to do shit. He just did it because things needed doing and he was a grownass man, not a man-child. He did not consider caring for his children as babysitting, either.

He liked to sing. My mother and brother have opera-quality singing voices - for real, both of them are quite gifted - but his wasn’t like that, it was just a perfectly ordinary, passable baritone, just like mine is a perfectly ordinary, passable alto. He sang and he whistled when he was happy and I do the same. He used to make up funny little songs and rhymes on the spot, he had a gift for improvisation that way. I wish I had inherited that but alas! No.

Even when he was a boy all of the neighborhood kids would come to him with broken toys to be fixed. He quite genuinely liked kids and even teenagers and spent a lot of time working with the local high school drama department, building the sets, working as the stage manager and setting up and working the lights and soundboard (he taught himself to do that as well) and even directing some of the plays when the drama teacher was out on maternity leave. To this day I still get contacted by people who were in school with me or my brother who tell me what an influence my father was on them, the special things he did for them to make sure they knew he was paying attention and cared. One guy a couple of years ago contacted me on Facebook and told me that he got into some trouble after high school, even got imprisoned for a few months. My father visited him in prison and afterwards took him to AA with him, became his sponsor, helped keep on the straight and narrow. He named his oldest son after my father, in fact. I hear a lot of those stories.

He loved books and he loved music and he taught me to love those things as well. He fell in love with my mother when he was seventeen and married her five years later and came to regret it - like his father, his wife was an abusive, narcissistic person. He stayed with her, though, until my second year of university, when he abruptly walked out on her, went to AA and quit drinking. I asked him about it later; he told me that he had wanted to leave her for years but knew that if he did he’d never see me or my younger brother again. The courts in those days automatically gave kids to the mother and my mother was an accomplished liar and would have told the courts anything and they would have believed her. Once I was out of the house and secure, then he was done. (The fact that my brother was only fifteen and left to fend for himself with my mother was...not good. Not good at all. My father was not perfect and he was not a saint and that was a mistake that still has repercussions today.) He did not do enough to protect me from my mother while I was growing up, however. He regretted it, he told me later. I understand now that he was constantly walking a knife’s edge, trying to keep her satisfied enough so she wouldn’t try to take me away from him, but it took therapy long after he died for me to really understand that.

His special interest was model railroading and he built these amazing, intricate landscapes, all by hand and by scratch. The man took latex molds off the sides of rocks to build mountains with and built buildings out of tiny pieces of wood and such. I spent many hours with him as he built, listening to music and reading or just laying there, thinking my thinks, or sometimes chattering nonstop to him.

He called me, every single Friday night, right after the X-Files ended, right after the child’s voice said “I made this.” My phone would ring and we’d chat for hours, talking about the show (we both loved it) and whatever else. He lived about 5 hours away from me at the time and we did talk at other times during the week but that was our standard date. He died in the middle of Season 2 and to this very goddamn fucking day whenever I hear that “I made this” I wait for my phone to ring. And I cry every single time because he will never call me again.

I absolutely think that meeting my late wife via the X-Files was my father, watching out for me. When my twins were newborn and pretty much all I did 24x7 was breastfeed them I re-watched the entirety of X-Files on the DVDs I had and I’d talk to my father in my head, telling him about his grandchildren.

He’d always buy the new Stephen King books in hardcover and read them and then give them to me to keep. He especially loved the Dark Tower series but I haven’t finished the ones that were published after he died. I bought them myself but they are still sitting on my bookshelf, unread. I just can’t.

He died in the hospital after being in a coma for a week. The ICU nurses were very kind and showed me how I could turn off the life support machine if I wanted to and told me that I could be in there with him as long as I needed. They very considerately closed all of the curtains and closed the door to the room. I was alone with him in there and I turned off the machine and I held his hand and I sang to him as he died. I didn’t want him to be alone. 

He was right. I was strong enough to do that. It hurt, though. It still hurts.

He’s buried in California with a free military headstone because my comfortably upper middle class grandfather refused to shell out for a headstone and I was flat broke. Many years later I had a regular stone engraved with the words, “Go then, there are other worlds than these” and I placed it at our summer cottage here in Finland for him. I like to think that he and my late wife are keeping company. They never met here, but they would have liked each other very much, that I do know.

ST: TNG S4 Watchthrough Episodes 6-9

Legacy: We have ended up on the home planet of Tasha Yar… and wow it’s not a nice place. We also find out that she has a sister, welp. So… it was alright. Ishara is very similar to Tasha in demeanor, but also very different. I tilt my head at the crew being so willing to trust and accept Ishara into their midst when they know nothing about this woman. I could see the ‘she’s using them’ plot a mile away. But to be fair, the episode addresses it. They wanted to see Tasha. They wanted to see the brave, loyal, strong-willed Security Chief that they lost so callously in her sister… and in the end, that took over. While I can see why Ishara acted as she did, she didn’t know these people and hasn’t seen Tasha in years so she’s under no obligation to care about them, it really has to hurt that she used them and almost committed mass murder and make them take the lame. Her world is a hellhole so her actions make sense, but that doens’t change the betrayal. Especially for Data. Riker sums it up well, with trust comes betrayal… but without trust, there is no friendship. That’s just the cruel truth. Anyways, it was a fine episode. I like that we have a pot-mortem for Tasha even if late… but it just makes me wish that tasha herself didn’t get killed sos he could have had her own plot and feeligns focused on. It still pisse sme off and is just a reminder of so much wasted potential. But ah well, for what they had to work with, they did it welll. 3/5.

Reunion: K’Ehleyr is back… and with a child. Worf’s child, to be exact. Huh. have been waiting very patiently for a follow-up to Sins of the Father and this was an excellent one! Back in K’Ehleyr’s first episode, she was unwilling to take the Oath and Worf wanted to so much and follow the Klingon traditions. Here? K’Ehleyr is ready and doens’t care that he was discommendated… but now Worf can’t. he’s been dishonored and even if it means nothing to K’Ehleyr, it means a great deal to him. He can’t let her or his son bear that shame. It’s so hard to watch him here. How anguished he feels, the way the other Klingons treat him despite it being their damn fault that he accepted it, to begin with, just knowing that he did nothing wrong… but for the greater good, he has to bear it. He doesn’t even want Alexander to be known as his son not because he’s unwilling to accept parental responsibility but to spare him of the dishonor. Just… freakin’ ouch. I was so happy to see K’Ehleyr back and her character is just so freakin’ good and her wanting to allow Alexander to find his life path? Excellent parenting. So… needless to say, her being killed off pisses me off. They at least allowed her character to shine, but… it feels like they only did it to make Worf suffer more. It was well-executed, I was about ready to tear up and Worf being driven to kill Duras for all the suffering that he put him through and now killing the woman he loved (which btw the romantic chemistry was MUCH better here than last time)? I can’t blame him at all. I get why he got reprimanded since Duras was a political figure and this can cause a whole host of problems and clearly Picard was sympathetic… but I just felt so bad for Worf. At least he admitted that he was Aexander’s father and hopefully the poor kid will have a good life with Worf’s parents, bu… yeah. K’Ehleyr’s death stops me form giving this a perfect score, very least I wish we had gotten to see her fight instead of goign to commerical and them walking in on her bloody corpse… but at least they got the tone down. I just hope that one day, Worf and his brother can truly expose the conspiracy because Worf deserves a Hell of a lot better. 4.5/5.

Future Imperfect: Let’s perform a thought experiment, shall we? Imagine going on assignment on your birthday, business as usual… then some kind of mishap happens. You wake up… and discover that you have lost sixteen years' worth of your memory. You can’t remember significant life changes, special moments for yourself and your loved ones, or even your spouse and child. Then just as you begin getting used to things and accepting this new life… you find out that it was all a lie and you were in an illusion all along. You were captured and tricked… and then you find out that was also a lie and it was all due to a lonely alien child left on a barren planet/within a highly advanced Holodeck system that can give him anything that he wants, everyone he knew had died and he did all of this just to have a friend. Congratulations folks, you have now experienced what Riker went through this episode! Yeah, this episode was crazy. I feel bad for the poor kid, while he shouldn’t have done what he did we’re talking about a lonely child essentially forced to live in a Holodeck and just wanted to interact with someone real. Also, I loved how Riker got clued in on how the future word was fake, excellent call-back to Season One! Not much else to say, but good episode! It was wild, that’s for sure~ 3.5/5.

Final Mission: Well folks, this is the curtain call for Wesley Crusher. I know that he pops back up once or twice, but this will be his final episode as a main character as he finally enters the Academy. We’ll get to my final thoughts on Wesley here in a bit, but l focus on the episode itself first. And… it was fine. We have Picard, Wesley, and some third guy crash land on a desert planet, the Enterprise unaware of if they’re alive or not. Thus the three struggle to survive which not only is the third guy essentially a paranoid asshole… but a cave-in seriosuly injures Picard. Thus Wesley is more or less on his own and has to keep Picard alive. Thankfully we avoid killing him off, and thus they make sure to give Wesley a proper send-off. They let him showcase his strengths with his intellegence, fast thinking, and compared to in the beginning he’s much more mature and capable of handling an Away Mission. This convinced me that yes, Wesley is ready for the Academy and that he will be a great Starfleet Officer someday. Meanwhile the Enterprise are dealing with their own issues because of course they are. Nothing can ever just go easy for these people. can it? It’s fine. The Enterprise plot didn’t have me invested aside form worrying about Dr. Crusher. The poor woman just burris herself in her work to deal with her worry about Wesley and evades Troi when she tries to assure her Otherwise the plot is there sot hat it can be a solo Picard and Wesley adventure without hem interfering. Which while I havn’t been the biggest fan of their dynamic, it’s clear how much Welsey admires Picard such as recounting their Samaritan Snare adventure, and Picard admititng that he brought him along because he was going to miss the kid. It’s a nice moment between the characters and allows Wesley to truly open up… though I wish it focused more on him and his mother since that’s been seriously lacking, but ah well. It was still a good send-off episode for Wesley and that’s how you want to treat your characters, whether they stay ont he show or not. 3/5.

As for Wesley himself… it’s been a bumpy road. Do I agree with the consensus that Wesley is an annoying child character that even his actor agrees with (albeit I think jokingly but still)? No. Wesley isn't a bad character. He’s a smart young kid, tries his best, makes mistakes but tries to do his best, and he grew. He’s a perfectly likable kid and this episode especially shows the best of him. Do I agree that the character's role and execution were annoying and contributed to his reputation? Yes. That is ultimately what it boils down to decent character, poor execution. In S1 Wesley was elevated far more than he needed to be. He was given privileges that no other character his age would have been granted no matter the competency level that borders on blatant favoritism. Whenever he made a serious error, he got praise for fixing it, never scolded for his actions with The Naked Now being the worst example. He still had good episodes like Coming of Age, but alas. I think having a kid character who aspires to be in Starfleet, has a parent who is a prominent crew member, and being able to use his skills to help was a perfectly fine idea… but there were just issues with how they did it. S2 and 3 were. While I disliked him at the end of The Dauphin and he still got showed some blatant favoritism, it was better balanced. I didn't feel he earned to be an Ensign until this episode… y’know, the one that shipped him off to The Academy. Crusher being written out in S2 and then brought back in S3 also really killed any and all potential that their dynamic could have truly brought which also hurt. It really feels like by S3 they just didn’t know what to do with the character anymore, limiting him to mainly Helmsman duty. He wasn't being elevated anymore… but he wasn't adding anything anymore either. Maybe promoting him was to help give him something… but Wil Wheaton decided to go, and that ended that. I can’t say I’m sad to see Wesley go because his potential just got squandered to the point that keeping him just felt pointless, and having him go to the Academy feels like the best natural end-point for him, so might as well be now. Nevertheless, Wesley was still part of the crew and for all that I criticized, he certainly didn’t deserve the hate that he got. If people like or even relate to the character, that’s great! He just didn’t work for me unfortunateley. Wil Wheaton obviously moved on to bigger, better things and is well-liked in the fandom, so that’s good cause he certainly did the best that he could. He just wasn’t given a lot of good material. Hopefully Welsey’s later guest appearances will give him somethingg ood and heck maybe they’ll convince Wheaton to come back in Picard one day, but for now… farewell Wesley. Can’t say I’ll miss you, but it wasn’t the worst ride either.

Briefly Noted

3/16/21

Saturday brought on another bout of depression and decision paralyzation, unable to bring myself to do much of anything. Sunday I was finally able to force myself to hit A while hovering over a game called Alice: Madness Returns.

I am aware of the original game, having watched Noah Caldwell-Gervais’ video on both Alice games, and it is conveniently available within Madness Returns as well. Madness Returns itself has a great visual hook in its introduction, the cutscenes of flat cut outs constantly moving and eventually bleeding. The art style is very grim throughout, but also fantastical and unique, it is something you really have to see for yourself. The introductory scene sets the stage: Alice is in therapy with some doctor who wants her to forget the tragedy of her family’s death by fire that she may or may not be responsible for (I highly doubt she is). The doctor is an intimidating fellow, not just due to the imagery of an older man treating a young woman, as well as all the other children in their orphanage, but also because of his end goal being the erasure of troublesome memories instead of some other, healthier, resolution. You wander about the orphanage listening to the disparaging comments from the other, younger, children before making your way into the streets outside, follow a cat, and meet a nurse from your old asylum. Alice’s breakage and entry into Wonderland follows soon after but the perspective changes and you get a narration from the nurse right after you, controlling Alice, meet her in the London streets. It seems to be the nurse’s internal monologue recapping what already happened but what happened happened right after you meet her, so it kinda sets off your sense of time progression. Essentially she tells Alice how she overheard Alice mention something that could incriminate her in regards to the family’s death by fire which plunges Alice into Wonderland. I have not yet returned to reality so I’m not sure if Alice is currently catatonic or something else as I doubt she actually was plucked away to enter the reality of Wonderland.

In Wonderland you are quickly armed with a Vorpal Blade and begin progressing down your typical “character-action” game. Moving from location to location, entering arenas to fight enemies until they are gone and you can move forward, doing some platforming, using weapons and abilities to solve puzzles are trigger animations, accruing more abilities and weapons as you move along. It is all filtered through the grim Wonderland aesthetic, which goes a long way to making it very fun and easy to just glide your way through. So far there are no complex button combinations to execute to achieve a higher style score ala Devil May Cry, and no violent execution moves ala God of War. There is some violence, especially when it comes to chopping off the heads of these little goblin-like enemies who wield tea plates and forts and spoons as weapons, but it is never excessive. You can sometimes seek out pig noses that you “season” with your ranged weapon, a pepper grinder, in order to gain access to a hidden or blocked off location that usually holds a bottle, the accumulation of which I am still not sure works towards anything in particular. It is not particularly challenging, even on hard, though there was one instance of being overwhelmed by the combination of enemy types, one of which requires dodging at the correct time so that they would become open to taking damage.

I have not yet pieced together enough of what is being said to discern the narrative’s overall direction, which keeps me intrigued as to where it will go and whether it succeeds. I am assuming it will be Alice dealing with her past guilt and loss, though I also have a feeling this game fulfills a long history of sequels hitting the reset button and undoing only to redo the journey already accomplished by the first. Otherwise it has been a very satisfying romp through this interpretation of Alice in Wonderland’s titular setting and my desire to see more of it has yet to die down.

Despite my weekend depression on Saturday, that evening I was able to pick up and complete an old replay I had started of Alan Wake. I think it was halfway through Episode 5 and then the entirety of Episode 6. I still really love that game for all its rough edges. The idea of a malevolent being, trapped in a lake, attempting to influence artistic creators by using their art to alter reality and warp it to its own desires is pretty cool. Of course lots of Twin Peaks imagery helps as well, such as the finale revealing Wake taking his wife’s place in Cauldron Lake (Cooper taking Alice’s place in the Black Lodge), and an evil version of Wake called Mr. Scratch (Cooper’s doppelganger who eventually becomes Mr. C in The Return). Juggling enemies with the flashlight, dodging incoming projectiles, and deciding which weapon to finally kill the Taken with is still a challenging and fun dynamic that I don’t think they matched until Control’s sort of flow from gunfire, telekinesis, and melee.

Viewing American Nightmare long after the details on the failed Alan Wake 2 project and it becomes really easy to see how it is a sort of frankenstein of leftovers from Alan Wake combined with the ambitions for Alan Wake 2 hampered by being a budget title. Some parts are familiar, as the HUD and flashlight combat dynamic remain the same, but instead of linear progression alongside the Pacific Northwest landscapes you are dumped into a large arena of a map with specific points pre-appointed to trigger fights.

The framing this time is as an episode of Night Springs, the delightful FMV spoof of Twilight Zone you would find on televisions throughout your adventure in Alan Wake. Wake served as a staff writer for the show early in his career, seemingly setting this up as one of his scripts come to life, with him serving as the Champion of Light and his doppelganger Mr. Scratch as his opposition. Mr. Scratch is also the star of this game’s FMV scenes, and is clearly enjoying his time being evil. Whether this is Remedy’s interpretation of what Cooper’s doppelganger would have been like had we gotten a proper Twin Peaks Season 3 in 1992.

Wake’s choice of weapons has gotten an upgrade: picking up a mini-uzi triggers Wake’s line of, “It’s about time we went full-auto,” as all your previous weapons were single shot, single load. Sadly the rapidly tapping X in order to reload faster is gone now as you are generally replacing clips of ammo instead of slotting each individual bullet into its slots. It is a strange little touch to miss, not as far-reaching to affect gameplay like Fallout 4 dropping the weapon-consumption-as-repair mechanic for duplicate inventory items, but still something I kept thinking about.

You still accrue manuscript pages, now with a higher production video clip of Wake narrating the text, and you still shine a flashlight on Taken and follow up with lethal weapons, but it doesn’t quite have the same charm as the original, main game. As an arena it is also disappointing in terms of throwing challenging combat at me, although this may be more due to the dropoff from the finale of Alan Wake into the introductory arena of American Nightmare in terms of how many enemies and enemy types the game is throwing at me. One new Taken form will split into smaller duplicates to avoid the light, a fun new mechanic, especially when you exploit it to quickly cause eight smaller Taken to appear from one and then wipe them out with a quick wave of mini-uzi bullets.

American Nightmare is more a curiosity piece than anything, watching what Remedy was able to cobble together out of leftover parts from a failed pitch project to a game I really love.

I was playing around with the girls’ various backgrounds and a few wee HCs for some of them were spawned. There’s smth for each one here, some more or less though. (Pippa has the most tho bc I am. Very biased).

Aurora, Baroness Namaire

- wicked good at poker, she learned from her mother, and went on to teach all her siblings

- has a minor rivalry with one of her baronial neighbour’s wife: in a rare subversion from expectation though it’s centred entirely around creating Revair’s best plum wine, and growing the best northern plums in general. No one has died, been blackmailed, and so far, not one case of arson has occurred. It’s all very atypical.

- was named for her mother’s younger brother, Aurean, who backed the old empire during the coup and was executed for it.

- knows how to patch stucco and fix thatching, skills she’s not had any reason to flex since she was 17.

Michi of Holt

- hates super spicy food, or super spiced food, or even super sweet food – delicate pallet on this one.

- learned to draw because of her third tutor (the first two gave up) who realized that if he let Michi pick the class location and doodle, she learned way better than locking her in a room and yelling at her.

- had a really, really complicated relationship with her maternal grandmother Myrna of Brehna whom she loved, but also resented both for how her grandmother impacted her relationship with her dying mother, and her grandma’s ‘my way or the highway’ approach to teaching Michi etiquette.

- on the note of the Brehnas, Michi is related to Noa via that branch (Myrna’s father is Isador’s paternal grandmother’s brother - making Noa and Michi 4th cousins)

Noa of Hise

- despite the stereotype, much prefers to be decked out in silver (brings out her eyes)

- mildly dyslexic, she spent her childhood doggedly trying to hide her difficulties learned her grandfather, Bantim or “Bonny Tim”, had the thing.

- lived in Wellin for 3 hours after her mother died. Her father insisted they move back, and Noa, worried for his health agreed. Three days in one of Isadore’s brothers made an offhand remark about Blackthorn and Noa alike, and her father walked right out of the parlor and back onto the ship that had brought them to Wellin in the first place, a greatly relieved Noa trailing behind him.

- was terrified of heights when she was a younger, a condition she considered intolerable and thus found her scaling every vertical surface she could find. Cousins or her mother had to got fetch her down a few times, but she largely outgrew it and now she only get queasy very rarely.

Pippa of Corval

- was actually born an fraternal [edit bc I changed my mind] twin, however her sister died after only three days. Corvali traditions wait a week after birth to name children (or, the seventh night, to be more exact), so her sister was never named. Pippa doesn’t have much of an opinion about this, other than joking maybe sharing that space was why she ended up so short (a minor mystery in the family, as her mother’s quite tall and her father wasn’t tall but not really short, either)

- her snake was actually a gag gift to another girl, Mitra who hates snakes. Basically, Pippa cares for Hihissa 9/10 parts of the yeah, and whenever Mitra’s brother visits, Mitra holds her nose and pretends she’s totally been living with this snake for three years.

- looooves rose water sweets. And tea. A scented oils. Basically, smells like a rose garden all the time and aspires to eat one as well.

- had a reputation as a shockingly well behaved child, from the age 2 onward. In truth, she just figured out very, very young that if you agreed with the adults and then did what you wanted in secret, you got praise and could have fun.

- Once wore nothing but saffron dyed clothing for a whole season: it was on a dare by a lady hoping to beggar a rival. Alas for the lady, she did not realize the Pippa’s mother, Roshan, actually owns several acres of saffron fields. Roshan felt supporting her daughter’s flex was worth eating into the profits for a season (but just one).

- named for her aunt, Philippa, her father’s sister who died age 4. In fact, Philippa was meant to be her full first name but her mother never liked it, and so changed it to just be Pippa after Judicael died. A small selection of people do still insist on calling her Philippa however, assuming Pippa to be a familiar nickname.

- (technically her first name is Mehr, but that acts as a sort of generation name for girls in her family, and thus goes unused.)

- No one actually calls her Pip, she just wasn’t going to tell of a Princess so went the most obvious option outside of telling her Pippa is technically a nickname

- semi related to above: astonishes her mother with how much of her personality is a vivid reflection of Judicael’s, despite Pippa being born posthumously to him. The only major difference really is Pippa is more scheming - and from a Corvali perspective, Pippa’s an outright Non-Schemer, so that tells you more about Judicael than it does Pippa.

- lowkey hates wearing shoes, avoids when possible (and thus, pays special attention to her toes haha)

Temperance of Arland

- secretly a fan of adventure novels, especially “gentleman explorer” types. Her supplier is the head chef’s son, who leaves them under a bush in the garden for her to borrow from his rather less restricted collection.

- hates chocolate – cannot stand it in any form

- found out at 12 she was almost named Claudia and sort of wishes that had happened – there’s like 13 “princess Temperance”es in the Arlish royal family history, only two Claudias.

- is a natural blonde, but does secretly lighten her hair. As she grew up, it darkened to near-brown blonde. Temperance lightens it in pseudo-secret, because she’s not supposed to be so vain, despite also having to always be pretty.

- pretty neutral towards Innocent, who is 18 years her junior (she’s 25, having been just this side of 17 for the last Summit)

- in Zinnia’s World State, she’s a Wellish lady, daughter of a Landgravine, and far happier for it (her parents are basically a love match that was also politically astute, so it being recreated in another timeline is not unlikely).

Yaen of Jiyel

- grew up in the far, far south of Jiyel, and has never quite gotten used to the northern seasons in the capital.

- lowkey wanted to run away and be a pirate from ages 5-8, looking back, she’s not sure why she outgrew that particular wish

- would eat lemons like oranges except it makes her teeth feel worryingly weird

- when we say “minor lady” we mean it - the family was only entitled in the last three generations - Loda’s father being the rare true blue meritocracy story, going from poor fisherman’s son to high ranking civil servant in his life. Her mother in comparison didn’t have a title at all - but her family were wealthy merchants, specializing in dyes and fabric. Her stepmother, however, is the daughter of a (3rd rank) Marquis, but with three elder brothers that means very little in the land of titles - even for her step mother’s biological sons.

- the nickname used by her father, mother and older sister, Lian, is bug. For obvious reasons, she did not share this with Ana. Her step-mother could use it - Yaen wouldn’t mind, but doesn’t feel comfortable doing so for the simple reason that she’s a naturally anxious woman.

- it’s an open family secret she’s not actually Loda’s biological daughter, but she doesn’t know who her “real” father is. She’s not exceptionally curious about it however - in part because she doesn’t want to hurt Loda in any way more.

Zinnia of Arland

- is the only MC in my roster outside Pippa to have read the Corval Satires, Constance sent her an annotated collection six months before the Summit. “For research”.

- didn’t see her father once between the age of 1 and 7, spending those 6 years on her mother’s private lands while her mother coalesced and avoided her husband. As such, had very atypically non-stodgy (but by no means improper) childhood than most Arlish princesses (Helah is 100% going to be blamed for Zinnia marrying an Arlish Earl oh the shame)

- frequently broke into Prosper’s nursery growing up, because he was her brother and she wanted him to have as much fun with his big sister as she remembered having with Constance as a child (results: fewer frogs caught, but similar levels of big sister adoration from the younger sibling)

- her rebel streak has always been semi-obvious, usually in her doggedly dressing to her own standards – which usually just meant picking colours not necessarily in season (greatly favours greens and browns, not least because the Princess Dowager, her great aunt Evalina was overheard saying she looked like bog-witch in those colours)

November Angel Fish Awards

Every month all of you fantastic writers work your asses off to post some truly incredible stories. Our Angel Fish Awards are the way for all of us, as a community of writers and readers, to lift each other up and give praise to those who have captured our attention and deserve a few kind words.

The monthly Angel Fish Awards are peer-nominated, meaning ANYONE IN THE POND CAN NOMINATE ANY POND MEMBER’S FIC. While the Pond was founded to support the Guppies, everyone in this community deserves to be showered with love and feedback, and we hope that by opening this up as a Pond wide system, we’ll be able to share the love as far as it can go.

NOTE: WE’VE BEEN HAVING OCCASIONAL PROBLEMS WITH ASKS GOING MISSING. Please use the Submit button when submitting your nominations and make sure you’re signed into Tumblr or your URL won’t show. (If the form asks for your name and email address, then you’re not signed in.) If you like, you can also send a message to Michelle or Mana to check and make sure we got your submission.

WITHOUT FURTHER ADO, HERE ARE NOVEMBER’S ANGEL FISH AWARDS!

Nominated by @deanwinchesterswitch​

One And One Make Three (series) by @supernatural-jackles​

This series was absolutely stunning, beautifully written, and an amazing rollercoaster of emotion. Jen handled some very sensitive subject matters with grace and wit. It has ALL the feels; I cried, laughed, and loved right along with the characters.

Nominated by @manawhaat​

Heart Of A Killer (series) by @wi-deangirl77

I love, love, LOVE, this series! The storytelling is done so simply but so effectively. Things come together beautifully and the dialogue throughout the series (and largely in ch.3) has an incredible flow and easiness to it. This tells you the story without all the bullshit but definitely with all the juicy drama and Ketch-i-ness that an Arthur Ketch lover could want.

The Right Kind Of Wrong (oneshot) @kittenofdoomage

I’m a slut for a Winchester sandwich and this one delivers. It’s Rhi. Just fucking read it and thank her for existing, okay?

Castiel Imagine (oneshot) by @webcricket

I don’t read too much Castiel because, even though I love him, I have a hard time finding authors who nail his character the way I want to read him but Cricket always gets him spot on! This is light-hearted, flirty, sweet, and hints at sexy. Plus, a flustered Dean is never not funny.

Nominated by @lovetusk​

It All Started With Some Itching Powder (series) by @iflostreturntosteverogers​

You’ve got to love brotherly banter and prank war aftermath.

When You Fall (series) by @flamencodiva​

I stumbled across this bad boy by accident and totally forgot I was suppose to be writing / editing because it sucked me in so good and I ended up binging all the chapters.

Nominated by @princessmisery666​

Sam’s Holiday Fluff (oneshot) by @crispychrissy​

This one made my heart smile. It was sweet and the characters were on point. It was nice to read Sam getting a happy moment ;)

Just Friends (oneshot) by @crashdevlin​

This one was painful but I still want more. I need part 2. Which is a testament to the awesome writing and the awesomely wicked idea ;-)

Like Art, Like Fire (series) by @fangirlxwritesx67​

I loved this. Love me some Sam anyway, but this was perfect. There were so many lines that had me swooning but one of my favs was - “Your bodies looked like art, lascivious art. In his grasp you were comfortable and beautiful and utterly shameless.”

Love it!!

Nominated by @thoughtslikeaminefield​

I Believe That Strippers Are The Future (oneshot) by @cherry3point14​

Everything Cherry Pie writes is so funny until it’s suddenly hot. This one’s particularly hilarious and then scorching.

The Crumbling Difference Between Wrong and Right by @stusbunker​

I joked that I was no longer talking to Stuart Marie (not her name, but that’s what I call her) after she wrote this and sent it to me, but I kid. That said it’s fucking heartbreaking, and her words and arrangement thereof are so beautiful I wanna cry.

Not All Mutants Are Monsters (oneshot) by @negans-lucille-tblr​

I sent this prompt to Bethany Elizabeth (not her name, but that’s what I call her) and never thought she’d take it. Alas, it is written and it is DIVINE. I lovvvvvvve Wanda + Dean + Natasha. Ugh, so much.

Rambling (series) by @crispychrissy​

The characterizations, the goddess, Dean. LOL I love this fic. It’s sassy (I was actually picturing the latest incarnation of Lillith as the goddess) and suspenseful and just balls out fun.

Need (oneshot) by @rockhoochie

This is cozy and sexy and so gratifying. This is exactly what Dean (and we all) needed after the Michael debacle.

Nominated by @mrswhozeewhatsis​

Anything You Can Do (oneshot) by @kittenofdoomage

Just good old-fashioned smut with both brothers that just hits the spot. It’s like Thanksgiving dinner. This is comfort food for the fangirl libido!

Dad Gets Awkward About These Things (oneshot) by @fictionalabyss

This is so adorable! Awkward Dad!Dean, suave and all-knowing Uncle Sam, this is perfect!

You’ve Got Me Begging (series) by @negans-lucille-tblr

Holy SHIT this shit is the SHIT, man. It’s got everything! Smut with all three Winchesters, plus tender moments with Sam, F/F for those who are into that, kinks galore, and intrigue, to boot! The plot twist in the most recent chapter has me completely flabbergasted. I really didn’t see that one coming!! Just, you know, HOLY SHIT!!!

Start of Something Good (series) by @tricia-16

It took me a while to narrow this down to just one fic of Tricia’s to nominate now that she’s a member of the Pond, but I finally settled on this one. It’s got Dad!Cas, toddler Claire being adorable as hell, lots of delicious angst for Dean and Cas to work through, and all the pining! I love to hate it when they just need to accept that it’s all good, but they can’t quite, yet, so they PINE. Tricia’s stories are so REAL, and it’s so refreshing. There’s some violence in this one you might not like, so check the tags!

Crash Into Me (series) by @crashdevlin

Some folks don’t like OFCs, but I love them, and this series is definitely worth reading, even if you don’t! I’m rooting for a happy ending for Crash! And Dean’s trying so hard. This one hurts so good!

Nominated by @littlehotmess26​

Dear Santa (oneshot) by @sorenmarie87​

She did a great job on this fic after taking a little break and I am so proud of her! This fic is so cute with Dean writing a letter to the big man in red!

The Mobster’s Girl (series) by @fictionalabyss​

Mel has worked extremely hard on this set of series and it shows. It’s well thought out and executed. Her writing grabs you and takes you along for an incredible ride!

Nominated by @wingedcatninja​

Hark And Hush (oneshot) by @thoughtslikeaminefield​

I’m not usually that much into purgatory!Dean, but this fic is a hauntingly dark delve into Dean’s mind. It made me feel emotions, and that’s what a good fic is supposed to do.

Thank you all for the awesome work and great feedback!

As with the BFAs, these are not actual awards! This system is set up so everyone in the pond has a chance to share the love and promote a fic/author that has grabbed your attention. The more people that participate, and the more everyone remembers to submit their own fics after posting, the better this will be :D

THANK YOU ALL AGAIN, KEEP UP THE AMAZING WORK, AND AS ALWAYS, HAPPY WRITING!

Running through the solution space for Watadamashi-hen

With Watadamashi-hen in the books and the obvious and traditional remaining question of “whodunnit?” in everyone’s heads, methinks it would be useful to see if there’s anything we can lock down for sure as constraints on possible solutions.  (Or, seeing as we’re in Gou’s version of the question arc that focuses the most on the local yakuza clan, perhaps a (forum) Mafia phrasing would be more appropriate: who is still in the PoE/Process of Elimination, and who is out of it?)

Here’s what I’ve got, under the cut:

- I do not believe we have quite enough information to say anything definitive about which sister Sonozaki is which during this arc. There’s two big questions here, and both are mostly related to the backstory: did the tattoo incident happen in the backstory as usual, and why is information about Satoshi so scarce this time around?  And both of those in turn boil down to a single issue: the level 0 answer for Watadamashi-hen (or perhaps more accurately level 3 -> level 0) is that Shion is responsible for at least some of the deaths as usual, but if that’s actually Shion during episode 8 then her behavior towards Keiichi here (especially the confession in the last episode) is hard to square with her devotion to Satoshi’s memory in OG. So the obvious questions: 1) did something happen in the backstory to switch which twin has the personality traits likely to drive L5, and 2) is there an easy explanation for why a Shion-born-Mion wouldn’t be as attached to Satoshi this time around?

The one thing I do suspect is that we only see one of the twins in Gou episode 5.  (The question is which - present!Shion impersonating her sister for the game tournament, or present!Mion impersonating her sister for the rest of the episode?   Leaning the former, but that’s not guaranteed.)

(Note: One of the theories going around is that the ending credits spoil which twin(s) are present in which episode of this arc.  I believe this is possible but doesn’t actually tell us much even if so?  The only conclusion that would give me that I wouldn‘t have arrived at anyways is that only one sister Sonozaki shows up during Episode 8 - that would rule out worlds where one of Mion/Shion is attending school at the start of the episode and then dies no later than Keiichi meeting kimono!Mion.  Other than that, as I just noted I’m leaning towards only one twin being present in episode 5 anyways, and everything else including which twin is in 5 is potentially drowned in “yes, I told you it was Mion, but did I mean Mion now or Mion by birth?” unless the tattoo incident never happened and Mion was born Mion... and in that case Mion is the prohibitive favorite for being a culprit anyways because the reasons Mion never goes L5 in OG would now apply to Shion instead, so once again it would just be confirming things I would have already suspected!)

- For each of Oryou, Kiichirou, and {Shion, Mion}, at some point, somebody had access to both their dead bodies and the Sonozaki disposal well.

This is more restrictive than it looks.  There’s really only four groups of people with even potential access to the well: a member of the Sonozaki family, another member of the Club (who could get Mion’s help, wittingly [ala Tsumihoroboshi-hen] or otherwise [Tatarigoroshi-hen]), the Yamainu (courtesy of their raiding the residence), or the police.  Of those, the only people who don’t have severe issues wrt opportunity for both the Oryou and Kiichirou murders are the Sonozakis and Rika (who might have been able to use her position as last surviving member of the third gosanke to set up a suitable opportunity to kill both of them if she went L5 or a Bern personality came out to play), and IIRC the sisters Sonozaki are the only Sonozakis with screen time while alive this arc.

The most likely permutation here is that the obvious inference from OG holds: one or both of the twins are responsible for all three of those deaths in some combination.  Looking it over... I think the second most likely possibility may actually be that the Mion who was at school during episode 8 was telling the actual truth about Rika? (#FeelTheBern)

- Whoever killed kimono!Shmion and Satoko had access to firearms, given both the death pose and the reported gunshot.

This is actually quite the restriction on possible culprits, as AFAICT there are only three groups in Hinamizawa with even potential access to firearms: the Sonozakis, the Yamainu (technically there’s also other Tokyo groups like the Banken, but only the Yamainu show up on screen this arc), and possibly the police.  (Caveat: if kimono!Mion’s gun is real, then it is possible that the culprit here successfully wrested the gun away from her and then shot her with it.)  (I wonder: is there any clear indication in the original Japanese about whether the officers who heard the gunshot heard only one shot or more than one?  I know Japanese often lacks formal singular/plural distinctions, so quite possibly not.)  I am heavily inclined to suspect the Yamainu here - I do not trust Keiichi’s viewpoint wrt Mion’s “revolver”, especially with the mismatch with the gun seen by the dead bodies, and if the shot of Shmion’s and Satoko’s body is to be believed the position of the nominal murder weapon looks really off for a murder-suicide.  (Also, they’re still on the short list of people with obvious motive to kill Satoko - if the clinic is once again “renovating” and that’s a cover for shutting down, they could be cleaning up loose ends.)

(Note: The apparent scratches on the neck of kimono!Mion’s dead body are quite interesting, because we get a clear view of that side of her neck during the confession scene and at that point there is *no sign* of said scratches!  Now, it’s possible Keiichi was hallucinating the lack of scratches, but that’s rather atypical for late-stage HS hallucinations; otherwise, those scratches must have been infliced during the events leading up to kimono!Mion’s death.)

- Whoever killed Rika was either making a delayed statement and/or did not have immediate access to either the Sonozaki disposal well or the Yamainu’s resources.

This one is pretty simple.  The school septic tank is a pretty shitty place to hide Rika’s body (pun intended after the fact) - after all, only {Mion/Shion} calling Keiichi away at the last moment prevents him from finding the body within at most a few hours of Rika being reported missing![1]  It’s certainly inferior to either the well (where the police only ever get to look in scenarios where Mion, Shion, and Oryou all die; Teppei’s body is quite secure there every time its gets moved to the well in OG arcs) or where the Yamainu would hide the body (people killed in the GHD coverup as opposed to the main event stay missing - both police officers shot on the road and villagers trying to escape into the hills).  Now, it’s possible that just like in certain OG arcs the reason Rika’s body is in such a findable place is because someone is making a statement and never intended for the body to remain hidden forever, especially if they wanted the body to stay hidden just long enough to get clear first - AIUI finding a miko’s body in a tank full of human waste would be a bit of a statement given Shinto ritual cleanliness, even/especially given certain features of local Hinamizawa practice (IIRC you could find some vaguely Western analogues in some of the ways Orthodox priests were executed during the Russian Civil War).  (This probably applies at the meta level regardless, especially given that Gou translates as karma.)  If it’s not a statement, however, then the only reason to put Rika’s body there instead of a more secure location is because the better locations weren’t an option (which, in turn, could be either because there wasn’t time/opportunity to move the body to one of the better locations or because the killer just didn’t have access to such locations).

[1] - I’m not sure how incriminating that is for whichever of {Mion/Shion} was at school at the time.  Coincidence is a very really possibility there, absolutely no reason to think it can’t be when that kind of thing is de riguer for detective story red herrings.

Piecing it together, here’s what I’ve got:

Culprit 1: Responsible for the deaths of Oryou Sonozaki and Kiichirou Kimiyoshi.  Likely candidates: birth!Mion, then Rika and birth!Shion in some order (the last probably gates around Oryou crossing one of birth!Shion’s red lines, although something involving fallout from no tattoo incident is also possible).  Corner case candidates: the Yamainu, a different club member, the police.

Culprit 2: Responsible for the death of the “Shion” found in the well.  Can be the same as Culprit 1.  Probably the other Sonozaki twin, assuming that the lack of apparent marks on the body holds and noting that self-defense is a possible motive (or technically suicide + someone else disposing of the body).  Corner case candidates are once again the Yamainu and the police (but why throw “Shion’s” body into the well but not “Mion’s”?),

Culprit 3: Responsible for the death of Rika Furude (or at least for moving her body to the septic tank - I suppose it’s technically possible that Rika left the stage on her own ala Meakashi-hen).  Likely candidates: Satoko, birth!Mion (iff the septic tank was a temporary solution until she could safely move the body to the well), Miyo Takano/Jirou Tomitake (iff one or both is still in town after all, assumes Takano no longer has Yamainu support).  Notable corner cases: Rena, birth!Shion (self-defense? plus birth!Mion caveat).  Other corner cases: Keiichi (iff unreliable narrator manifests as him killing Rika offscreen, which is unlikely but possible), someone else around school (Chie-sensei after Rika insulted curry?), the police.  Probably not the Yamainu; they might have motive but I find it hard to believe they’d leave Rika’s body where it was.

Culprit 4: Responsible for the death of Satoko Hojo.  Not necssarily also Culprit 5, depending on exact events (the notable world here is “kimono!Mion kills Satoko and is then killed by the Yamainu in turn”).  Likely candidates: kimono!Mion and the Yamainu, in some order (kimono!Mion has self-defense as a possible motive given those scratches).  Less likely: Satoko herself (suicide).  Corner cases: the police, Rena (if she somehow dodged the security cams or Keiichi was hallucinating those), Takano/Tomitake (likewise).  Alibi’d: Rika (dead), Keiichi (in the cell).

Culprit 5: Responsible for the death of kimono!Mion.  Likely candidates: the Yamainu, followed closely by kimono!Mion (suicide) and Satoko in some order.  Corner cases: the police, Rena, Takano/Tomitake.   Alibi’d: Rika (dead), Keiichi (in the cell).

several Tough Questions to Ask an advertising Agency Before You Hire These

There are a lot of great agencies on the market. And there are a lot of bad kinds too.

So how do you know what you happen to be really getting when you signal a new agency?

Whether you are huge enterprise or a small business, you do have a set budget, with a fixed number of resources and a placed amount of time to get it accomplished. Many times you need to rely on any team of partners which can help assure you have effectively expended your budget and are getting the many from it. Research, instinct, along with experience aside, since the money stops with you, it is important to ensure you have the right team by you. Advertising Agency

So , what I thought can be helpful is to share a number of my learning's related to selecting the most appropriate partner marketing agency that will help you through those times when you will have questions or need to use outside agencies for your entire project to an company.

Tough Question #1: Which will really be working on my bank account?

Well, that depends. Several agencies have a hierarchical method structure that requires a single level of contact between the clientele and the agency itself. It creates life easier on the agency's end. From the client point of view, you would ideally have immediate access (phone, email etc . ) to all individuals working on your personal account. This includes everybody from your Production Artist up to the man or woman ultimately responsible for your business (usually an Account Executive or organization principal). Ultimately though, that will overhead can cost you time and money, that will make smaller projects more costly.

My very own preference is to work with firms that have a more senior man connected to my account. The one that knows the in's in addition to outs of getting things performed or is even doing it project themselves. Its similar to when I go to a restaurant as well as order my food. I need a waitress that will listen closely, identify costs for ala cart items that may or may not be necessary, and know that special requests take longer or will cost a lot more. The same works for an firm. What has generally proved helpful for me is to either make use of a smaller agency where you gain access to more senior staff, or perhaps make sure you have an experienced profile executive that understands your own processes, your business, and their very own firm's cost structure (no ala cart, surprise invoices).

Tough question #2: How can the agency measure promoting success?

That's an easy query to answer, but only if anyone asks it. There are many ways to the path results via software and also systems... quality of advertising campaign responses, number of new customers, mass media coverage, internet conversions, online traffic, email clicks, etc . However the first question you need to ask will be, what is most important to me because the client, and is that the most important thing to my "boss"?

Just before moving forward on a project, consider, what is most important to determine, and then what results could well be adequate to justify enough time and cost involved. Regarding though, and look to your advertising and marketing agency to be a partner, not just a vendor. For example , you may have the aim of generating 100 qualified options, but have only a limited price range, a small market, or have no the sales resources to adhere to up on leads generated. This is why an experienced Account Exec and marketing team is vital. They help you set goals so that you can meet them together. Once you have set your goals along with objectives, you can then build a want to address the cause and-effect romantic relationship between your marketing program and your effects. Lastly, I cannot stress adequate that you communicate them usually to your sales team, executives, in addition to marketing partners as each and every will play a role in their accomplishment.

Tough Question #3: Can i market to sell or industry to educate?

Let me answer this kind of question with a question. Do you want sales pressure? I may. If you are looking to build a long term partnership with a customer, then unquestionably, the better method to use is Education-Based Marketing. People are tired of offering and sales pressure. Rely on needs to be built. You do that through demonstrating that you are a pacesetter in your field and have resolved the problem for others who are just like themselves. Prospective customers want details and advice, which is the inspiration of Education-Based Marketing. And also until business owners realize just what customers want - and present it to them - businesses will continue to get a inadequate response to their marketing.

Check out multiple techniques to get your communication across. Training videos on YouTube may well work for some clients, just where white papers on the same matter, delivered via email could work better for others. Today, frequent educational techniques include websites, white papers, case scientific studies, articles and videos... and a lot can be produced at a pretty low cost. Just make sure you are offering people what they want inside the medium they want it with.

In looking for marketing help, look for people who specialize in education and learning as well as selling. It will help your current reputation, your relationship along with your SEO results.

Tough Query #4: How am I those billed for services: by using an hourly rate, project pace or retainer?

A project will take 10 minutes or 10 days. That being the case, easily were to charge clients per hour, I'd have to know exactly how very long the project will take and this there would be no surprises. A great hourly rate means you will end up billed exactly on the moment it takes me to do the work.

In the end, some agencies must charge for additional time, thus must recoup it within other areas. I am not as huge a proponent of an by the hour quote because

#1, diverse skill sets have different costs (ie a Production Musician will not be billed at the same charge as the Creative Director), #2, I have to track hours associated with specific projects. An admin hassle.

Now of course, for much larger agencies, clients may have a plus in that clients can selectively bypass the higher-tiered staff for ones with a lower charging rate but you don't would like to ask a Production Artisan about overall marketing strategy.

Regarding small projects, ask to get billed in increments which can be smaller than 1 hour. For more substantial projects, many smaller consumers like to be quoted over a project basis. Together we all develop the plan, I supply a quote, and the project can then be completed and paid inside stages. It is a good equilibrium when you want to test an agency regarding performance and build a longer expression working relationship between customer and agency. It does, still mean the agency is much less likely to negotiate terms of your agreement since the long term connection may be uncertain.

As an business owner, I personally prefer a retainer-like. Why? Because it allows me to designate costs and hours correctly. And for the client, he/she can easily count on me for Back button number of hours allocated to these. This allows for some negotiating area with both parties. For example , when you use a retainer, my dialogue with the client would be i would usually charge X in this amount of work but in the attention of developing a long-term romance, I'll charge X without Y%. Furthermore, in the soul of fairness, I would not quibble if the amount of perform in a given month travelled a little over (and I actually wouldn't expect that the consumer would complain if a calendar month was a little light. In the long run, it works out even.

One particular alternative in how I offer you projects versus other businesses, is that I bundle our services into larger assignments with a set price construction. This allows the client to get the good thing about a retainer model (a cost reduced set of built-in deliverables) with a set estimate for completion of the job.

Inner Spark Creative is a full service advertising and marketing agency serving clients across the southeastern United States. Services include SEO, pay per click, website design, location marketing, marketing automation, and more.

References SEO

Fictober 2019: #16

Star Wars: The Old Republic.

Inspired by all the Quinn love on my dash, here it is:

The Transponder Station Pt. 3 aka You Dun Goofed

Pt. 1 Found Here: [X]

Pt. 2 Found Here: [X]

For @doomhamster who was very distressed after part 2.

And also, the Quinn fam:

@sunsetofdoom, @fluffynexu, @riajade01, @aliyamirat, @kunoichi-ume, @cinlat, @semper-draca, @gerdavonrinnlingen @velvetsunset

________________________ 

Malavai awoke with a start. He immediately sat up and looked around in confusion. The last thing he remembered was the Transponder Station…

His hand immediately flew to his throat but he felt nothing, no soreness, no dull ache to remind him of his foolishness. He was in Tremas’ quarters, in her bed. He could hear the water running in the refresher. How many times had he woken up to that sound? Had she brought him back? After everything, had she let him back into her life?

He glanced at the chrono nearby and froze. The date was wrong. It was off by at least a week. He frowned as he reached for his datapad and verified that it too displayed the date of one week ago. Suddenly the datapad sparked in his hands and flickered to reveal the schematics of assassin droids. Instinctively, Malavai dropped the datapad and it smashed onto the floor.

It was wrong. This was was all wrong.

The refresher opened with a hiss and steam spilled into the room. 

The scent of vanilla sugar filled his nostrils.

__________

Dead or alive…

Tremas watched Malavai’s sprawled, unconscious form for a moment before nudging him onto his back with the tip of her boot. He was unresponsive but he was breathing.

Alive then.

She supposed once the rage filtered away, she would be glad of it. Right now all she could do was focus on the pain of her injuries so she could harness the force through them. The inferno of her wrath had burned away and now all she had left were the cold ashes: remnants of what they’d shared.

Baras had sought to crush her with Draag, but it was Quinn –efficient, brilliant, resourceful Quinn- who managed to utterly destroy her. It was a sound decision. Between the two of them, Quinn was the most dangerous, Sith or not. Her cooling anger allowed her to gain some perspective. She analyzed every moment, every phrase uttered between them.

She’d known from the beginning Baras had sent him. Mercy and genuine affection had allowed him to join her group. After all, who knew what Baras would have done to him if she had refused to take him? It would have been a waste to lose someone as dependable and skilled as Quinn. She often mused that she fell in love with him the moment he cut off that smug Jedi’s escape on Balmorra. The way he lorded his superiority over the Republic spy as not only attractive, it was accurate. Quinn was a resource, a weapon of deadly accuracy in the right hands. Then again, Baras excelled at needlessly destroying loyal agents under his command.

No, bringing Quinn along with her had been the right call. Personal feelings aside, it had been beneficial to the empire. She’d believed, perhaps naively, that her actions could sway him to switch sides when the inevitable happened. She cultivated a meticulous image of respect and devotion to her master. Although she often encouraged Vette’s snarky retorts behind his back, she always exuded an aura of submission in his presence. 

It was fortunate that Baras thought her so completely loyal to his cause, as it blinded him to the danger she posed. Her flattery and deference was mistaken for weakness. It was little wonder that he didn’t put much effort into plotting her destruction. Had he viewed her as the threat she truly was, he would have chosen to do away with her in a far more vicious manner. Instead, he sent a weak excuse of an apprentice who ultimately butchered the job so badly he ended on the wrong end of an incinerator. Her deceit had paid off. Her master realized her true power only once she had slipped from his fat, greedy fingers. The fact that Baras didn’t consider Quinn as his first choice simply emphasized just how skewed his judgement had become. Even now she was having to scrounge every bit of force energy to keep from succumbing. If it had been Quinn who had acted against her in Quesh, well… She wouldn’t be around now to mull about it.

Quinn…

Her thoughts turned nebulous as the emotions around him were still raw and bleeding. She’d never put much stock on love. She never saw a need for it. On Korriban, acolytes toyed and vied for each other’s affections but it had been a power play to build up and exploit. She too had played that game. A quick smile here, a gentle word there. She had always excelled at finding what people wanted before giving them a taste of it. The promise of more often was enough to lure them to her side. Alas, Sith were volatile and fickle, but soldiers -she recalled- soldiers were easy. When she was assigned on missions with them, she made sure they all returned and with minimal damages. She provided them with protection and respect. Some she gifted with her approval and recommendations of promotion to their superiors. In return they were loyal and provided her with intel on what the other acolytes may be plotting against her.

Perhaps that had been her mistake, believing Malavai’s loyalty would be so easily given like the soldiers’ on Korriban... believing his loyalty was so easily bought like Pierce’s.  His situation was far more complex. Disgraced once before, he owed Baras his career, perhaps his very life. No doubt Moff Broysc would have executed him given the chance. He had come to her with his loyalty already pre-determined. Honorable to a fault, he had served his master, his true master to the only logical end. How could she kill him for that? How could she destroy such an iron will simply because she could not make it bow to her?

I’d be no better than Baras.

It was genius really, her own game turned against her. At some point she had wanted that loyalty for herself. Not just his loyalty. His skill, his power, his deadliness, his brilliance, his passion, his heart… she’d wanted all of him and no doubt he had sensed it. Never had she met a more intelligent man. Never had there been anyone she wanted to make Hers -with a capital H- with such intensity. Her Clever Captain had known her desires all along, she made no secret of them, and he allowed her a taste. Just a taste so she would be lulled into a sense of complacency. A taste so she could believe she held claim to him like a trophy she had wrested away from Baras’ grubby hands. A taste to make her feel victorious and invincible. She’d forgotten -or forgiven- the fact that he was Baras’ man. She’d forgotten when he whispered those sweet words, and held her close, that there was a threat and a danger just beneath the surface.

She’d been a silly child, seduced and duped by a man nearly a decade her senior. How could she not have seen it before? While Tremas toyed and bantered with Quinn, he humored her all the while biding his time. Her own overpowering obsession with possessing him as her property coupled with basic Sith arrogance had blinded her to the truth: Quinn would say and do anything to ensure that, when the time came, she would believe his word as fact.

She grappled with the emotions attached to those memories before her mind finally accepting the truth. Quinn didn’t love her... and it was devastating.

She analyzed that last emotion finally coming to terms with the feeling seizing her chest. Far beyond the mere denial of a cherished prize, she felt the cataclysm of having her still beating heart torn out of her. There would be more time for deeper introspection later, but at least now she knew that what she was feeling had a cause, and a name. Her weakness made itself manifest. A one-sided love was a poisonous way to live.

Adapt or die.

How many times had Overseer Tremel echoed those words? Usually before throwing her off a cliff. Things rarely went according to plan. The messy emotions and relationships surrounding said plans often shifted them when they did not outright derail them without warning. She was Sith, the Emperor’s Wrath, not some tender hearted Alderaanian maiden who would waste away in despair. Emotions were but an arsenal at her disposal, even pain was useful in its own way. The choice, if it could be called that, was clear.

“A Sith’s strength doesn’t lie in never failing, but by never letting failure defeat them. If you cannot pick yourself up after a fall, then you are no Sith at all.”

Circumstances had changed. A new center would have to be found. A new center other than Malavai. As though on cue, Quinn’s eyes snapped open and he yelped as though in pain. As he became aware of his surroundings and he seemed almost puzzled at first. The droids lay in pieces scattered about the room and the implications of his actions struck him. There, leaning heavily against a broken droid, was Tremas. She seemed almost calm amidst the destruction. The droids awkward limbs curled around her in a cruel mockery of an embrace.

He braved to look into her gaze and noted the gold had left her eyes but in its place bone-white pupils remained. An expressed Sith gene, no doubt brought about by the strain of the battle and a testament to the purity of her lineage. The skin around her left eye was a glistening twisted mess of charred skin. His inner medic wanted to reach out and place soothing kolto bandages over the wound to prevent infection and scarring.

“You disappoint me Quinn, I had such high hopes for you,” she said and damn him if he didn’t believe it, “but you fell into the same trap as everyone else. I could respect the fact that you were bound by honor. I can understand how you felt you owed Baras your loyalty after he had saved you. I could even understand your reasoning that you believed him to be better for the Empire. But that wasn't why you did this was it?"

Her voice darkened towards the end of that sentence.

"It is the same reason why you failed so completely. How little you must think of me. How weak am I in your eyes." Her voice was cold and unyielding, like a metal blade grazing his throat. "After all you've seen, after so much observation, you underestimated me. You judged me lacking just as your Master did, and countless others before him. I really thought you were smarter than this, Quinn. Did you learn nothing? For all your calculations, you truly believed I would be so easily destroyed? Did you think I had destroyed my enemies out of sheer luck? Or did you expect I would simply lay my weapons down and allow you to execute me? Regale me, Captain. Exactly how stupid did you think I was?”

He was taken aback by her berating although not for the first time, he was at a loss. She had, of course, come to her own conclusions. For all the ways this conversation could have gone, he hadn't expected this. He stood staring at the floor unable to voice a response that wouldn't shame him further. He could feel that pallid stare burning a hole through him as the tense silence wore on. Mercifully, she continued.

“Stupid enough not to know Baras had placed you in my crew as a spy? Too stupid to intercept your monthly reports to Kaas City? Or perhaps so stupid as to not to realize there was an entire communications channel encrypted on my ship that only you used?” 

Malavai’s heart sank as he stared at the floor with widened eyes. She’d known from the beginning. But then why…?

She visibly strained to keep her anger in check otherwise he was sure he would have found himself in another choke hold.

“What you have done has broken the trust between us. However, I understand that this… all of this… is a result of the same toxic Sith infighting poisoning the Empire. You do not… you will not die by my hand today. Caught between us both, I fail to see how you could have done anything that didn’t result in either of us destroying you. I suppose you were wise to try your luck with me. I will keep you alive, and we will see if you earn my trust again.”

He stared at her stunned at her decision. She had refused to kill him. At best she would have left him stranded on the station, at worst, sent him to Baras for punishment. To keep him in her care, under her protection, it was more than he could have hoped.

“My Lord, I’m… this is unexpected. Darth Baras would never forgive such a failure,” he uttered unable to formulate a more apt response.

“I am not Darth Baras… nor do I aspire to be, but my forgiveness is not some cheap trinket feely given,” she scowled before jabbing a finger in his direction, “You will pledge your absolute, unwavering loyalty to me and me alone.”

“I pledge myself-”

“Do not speak those words in haste, Captain! Listen. No, really listen. I will not tolerate you taking my decision to spare you lightly. I've had my fill of you and you Master finding reasons to call me inept,” she cut him off and he flinched at the as her words hit home, “if you have no intention of following through with your pledge just say so and we go our separate ways. The choice is yours.”

All the love in the world had not changed the fact that he had betrayed her. His failure had been predetermined but it remained. And still she gave him a choice. He could walk away, tail between his legs and simper back to Baras or worse… defect. The very thought of having to live without her became stifling and he knelt before her out of sheer instinct.

“If you will permit me to stay in your charge, my dedication to you will never come into question again,” he vowed.

"Trust is difficult to rebuild, Quinn. But I'm willing to try," she replied looking tired.

"I understand if things are different for a while," he said casting his eyes down, "this interruption has delayed you enough. I'm eager to return to the ship and put this behind us."

He needed to leave this place and the stain of his betrayal lest it cling to him forever. She turned to leave without a word and he quickly followed her.

“The ship is through there. Prepare for departure, I'll join you shortly,” she ordered as they passed the station’s medical droid.

“Of course, my lord. One thing, my lord -- do you plan on telling the others what happened?” he asked and immediately hated how much he sounded like a nervous child pleading with his teacher not to tell his parents. She stopped in the middle of the corridor and turned to face him. He couldn’t help but flinch at the sight of her face. Her gaze was tinted an eerie silver by the light refracted off the metallic walls and her left eye was encircled in charred skin. Self-loathing rose in his throat as he realized the selfishness of his question. To her credit she took it in stride.

“I fail to see how this involves anyone else. I don’t plan to tattle, Quinn,” she replied with the ghost of a smile on her face. Her expression sent a chill up his spine as it seemed far too cold and broken to be the Tremas he knew.

“I appreciate it, my Lord. I will see you back at the ship,” he nodded thankful at having an order to execute. She watched him depart with her mind still clouded and weary. Slowly she made her way to the nearest console and began running one of Vette’s slicer programs. Soon she had access to the ship’s surveillance. With a deft keystroke, she erased the data, and proof of Quinn’s actions. Baras would be denied even the shadow of his prize, just as he had denied her.

Her armor felt too tight and constricting. With the danger past, she saw no harm in loosening the belt around her waist. Something hot ran down her side and soaked through her greaves. Perhaps a kolto packet had burst, regardless, she paid it no attention. Tremas managed to reach her airlock doors before she noticed the visible trail of blood she was leaving. Vette, of course, was the first one to spot her.

“TREMAS!” her cry brought the rest of the crew to the doorway. "What happened? Your face, you're hurt!"

“Baras fed us false information. It was a trap,” she stated as she wobbled. Quinn came down from the bridge looking pale and distraught as he saw the effects of the battle had finally caught up with her, “…didn't see it coming. Captain, are we on course... for... Corellia...”

Quinn’s throat went dry as he saw the once powerful Sith staggering. Her face was far too white and crimson blood was falling from her side in thick heavy drops to pool on the floor. Pierce was the one who caught her as she collapsed like a house of cards.

“Medical, now!" Quinn barked out the order as he ran to prepare the kolto tank. His mind raced trying to remember all the damage she had sustained. Blaster wounds cauterized on impact… He froze as he recalled the vibroknife he had driven into her side.

It was his fault. This was all his fault.

________________________

Read More About Tremas HERE!

Original Fictober Promp List HERE!

hot takes continued

here we go. season 12 episode 12. 

so. it’s time to chit chat about drag race. if u dont like my opinions sry. 

this is gonna get bigger than one episode or one season. this is meta drag race. 

but first i guess the episode. right. so. obviously it was a “musical” so obviously i wanted to see jan sing and obviously she did not. I do think that this challenge [not necessarily placed in this episode] would have been a great time to do a like returning queens. but i digress.

i think that it was a little muddled. like it wasn't like any of the “girl group” numbers where it’s just the verse and chorus. all of the verses were placed in different spots throughout the show. I also think it’s ironic that this whole episode is to promote this live vegas show which is obviously not happening right now. but alas. 

i agree with bob in that i liked jackie’s verse the best. 

i did not love gigi’s outfit in the challenge. you couldn't make out the heart as easily bc the red was all the same color. I also think the material used was too chunky- it was quilted. i would have rather had the heart be quilted, not have a corset underneath it, and have the rest of the top part not be quilted. i thought it was a good concept but i would have preferred different #choices. i also would have rather the hair been straight instead of curled.

i did not have a huge issue w crystal’s orange and green outfit. i also appreciated the callback stars and stripes hair. though maybe not together?

jaida was good as per usual. i want her to win, but we will get to that later. 

also let us note the basketball wives hair that made a comeback [gigi, jackie]

runway time.

crystal and ******’s outfits did not fit the way i wanted them too, and the problems were both in the hips. when i saw them i thought the hips should be exaggerated, but instead they both looked weirdly deflated. and crystal’s torso section could have been brought in. [i did see on instagram that the person who made crystal’s look [casey caldwell who is a nyc based designer, works w a lot of neoprene/thick materials- just look up on instagram caseyyalater] actually made it for dragcon and crystal bought it right there, so it wasn’t tailored] 

in the dior v dior battle, i thought gigi won. jackie’s dress was just i think a little too large [not in terms of tailoring, in terms of diameter] but it was very jackie

gigi said that her outfit was quintessential gigi, which i think it interesting bc if you look up showgirls performances, it very much is. however in terms of the character portrayed on drag race i didn’t think it was. it was very well made, etc. but it just didn’t fit the “perfectionist trope” of the show. 

jaida is once again wearing a gown with a presequinned fabric, which i am not mad at. it is quintessential jaida. 

critiques. 

again ooh we have to nitpick bc we accidentally cast too many winners on this season blah blah blah. i was not a fan of when they said oh well we will have to look at report cards. as if they didnt intentionally load up gigi and ****** with wins at the start of the show. 

and then it’s like oh well jackie and crystal have to lip sync blah blah blah. and you know that jackie is going home. bc the judges absolutely love crystal, all because of that mullet. 

to quote bob “I used to be really upset at queens who won the judges with their personality” and that is still mostly true for me. i don’t think her placement is unjust or whatever, but like if ru didn’t like the mullet, she would not have been given the confidence boost to turn her trajectory around, compared to jackie and widow and jan, who did most things right but just were not rupaul’s fave, and must have had a much more difficult time mentally on the show. 

and FWIW heidi falls into this category as well. race chaser i think said it - all of her success comes from ru’s ideas. and being naturally funny and charismatic and having ru like you as a person is a huge gift and huge talent, but the inability to wrangle it...  that being said i think she deserves the world and will grow [and has already grown] from this experience.

and the thing is that crystal also keeps going back to the same stuff which could have been funny if the episodes were more than one apart or if she didn't do it twice in one episode but. idk. 

now, who will win, who should win, hmm hmm hmm. tbh i don’t think it will be crystal. they just crowned the oddball and they like to mix it up, or at least try to. also why looking at the history of dusted or busted scores [and s/o to jan for coming in @ 4 [after the disqualification]] crystal is at a 2, and bebe won with the lowest score at a 3 [w 2nd and 3rd place at 4 and 5], and that was in season 1, which was a whole other ballgame. leaving us with jaida and gigi. i am team jaida. i think that she is much more developed as an artist and performer than gigi, and I think that she will bring us something new.

[here comes the meta part]

the title is america’s next drag superstar. and i think in the beginning of the show, they decided that that had to mean something new and exciting, something that pushed the boundaries of what drag could be [which is rly ironic coming from them but]. which has developed this culture of what is the formula to be successful on drag race. and some people were more overt about this [jan] and some people were more subtle about this [gigi and jackie]. 

but for some reason, the [Black] pageant queens will make it to the top and then never win. - and they’ve had overt conversations regarding pageants and pageant culture on the show before - but balls and pageants were like the building blocks of drag culture in the us [from what i understand]. so inherently that means it’s no longer “new” and exciting. but the thing is that so many of these fashion [/nyc] queens work so exclusively with these high end designers to produce these looks [i think bob said it can cost like 10K to prep all your stuff for drag race] and with that the ability to design and sew falls away. 

and i think that is reflected in the challenges and how they have changed. this season there was one design challenge. and that is just so disappointing to me bc i think the design challenges really separate who has a full understanding of their persona and who does not. 

and with fewer and fewer design challenges, you have more and more designer items, and the ability to create something has fallen to the wayside. personally [and i will probably make another post about this later] i want to bring back the design challenges in one of two ways. 1. have an all designers season. where drag designers work to make elaborate costumes based on a prompt and given certain materials. bc on the show designers are not credited as much [that part comes on instagram]. 2. i want to have a drag race blank slate competition. where contestants audition and are given a list of prompts but cannot bring anything except like a notebook. no prepared outfits. you can sketch designs to the prompts, but all the materials are provided. contestants still have a main challenge and a runway, but rather than 2 days, they are given a full week to execute the challenge and the outfit. this would totally change the game in my mind. like one you wouldn't have to have money or take out loans to compete, you could just come and show who you are. and two the audience could see more of what goes into this stuff. AND if drag race really wants to feed us, they could do like a wed. ep and a friday ep. to spread things out. 

my favorite challenges are design challenges, and while i think the first challenge this season gave us a better introduction to who the contestants are, the design challenge is a really good thing to have at the front. 

i do think that if they had not had the debate that there would have been another design challenge in the mix, but bc it was an election year. 

anyways, i want jaida to win bc she’s excellent at what she does. and at this point there is something new and exciting about making all your own clothes and being polished and knowing who you are.  and tbh gigi doesn’t bring anything new to the table. sure the ability to sew and design is good, but compared to aquaria and violet the designs were not as diverse or inventive. on top of that, the fact that gigi is outwardly apolitical [and doesn’t understand the connotation of “privilege” in today’s times] is just not a good look. I also think that it is interesting that gigi came in as the look queen but actually did better in the acting challenges. 

idk my main takeaway is that gigi is really really good at playing other people, and with that comes a lack of self awareness. striving so hard to be perfect can come at the cost of not knowing who you are as an artist. like gigi’s brand is literally “im that bitch/bitch” which again, just isn’t what i want in a winner. 

and tbh the gigi bug bit early but ended when ru gave her the win on the madonna episode. [i will say that jackie could have won snatch game but tbh i was annoyed w her for being a little dickish to the safe girls that week [though what she said was totally understandable] and also i <3 jackie cox [and chelsea piers we stan chelsea piers in this house] i think there is something so gr8 abt being a nerd and being prepared and being on brand about it. also jackie is always the one to hop on the dolls’ lives and comment their venmo. hashtag cool aunt jackie. [though that here for cox t-shirt and the promo photos make me uncomfy though i get it]]

re jackie coming back to complete the top 4... IDK it’s nice and all but they've already established that they don’t want her to win- otherwise she would not have been eliminated. 

also in my mind there are only 12 places so jan actually came in 7, widow 6, heidi 5, jackie 4. 

anyways these are my thoughts. as usual, raw and unedited. 

Can you hear me? (Dark! Spain x reader) 3

Wordcount: 2,363 The reader is referred to as she/her.

"... Hola." The husky voice whispered. You froze in your seat at the familiar sound that you had been dreading to hear. And just like that, the illusion that your brain made where he didn't exist just disappeared. The overhead light that illuminated the interior of your car dimmed to darkness as the icy hands of fear grabbed a hold of your racing heart. "Me extrañaste?" The man muttered these words to you in a low, sultry voice that only made your hair stand on end. Despite not understanding what he was saying, you shook your head and just murmured one thing. "No. No. No. Whatever you just said, no." You exasperated, starting the car to hear the engine roar and come to life. "Stop calling this number. I'm going to call the fucking police. I can't stand it anymore." 

The other merely chuckled at the threat, and at hearing those laughs, you furrowed your brows and hitched a breath. "What the fuck are you laughing at?" "Police? Oh, but I don't think you want to do that." The other responded with a heavy, Spanish accent. It was so prominent that you thought he was doing it on purpose. "He's not with you, is he?" Your hands were growing clammy and your blood ran cold. "Who?" Even though you asked that question, a sick, churning in your stomach warned you of a hunch. "Your boyfriend. Where is your boyfriend?" A loud gasp was heard and heat rushed up to your face. "He is alone, isn't he?" You refused to let him hear you break down over the phone. There was also no need for the conversation to continue to know exactly where this deranged man was, or planning to head to, so you hung up with your face distorted with fear. Usually, you would have steered clear of him at all costs, but you did not have the luxury to do so when Alfred was there with him. With a heart as pure as his, he probably would not have sensed his impending doom coming at all. He was probably just sitting on a high stool at the bar, slumped over the counter and dozing off waiting for you. It would not be difficult for just about anyone to sneak up behind and pull him to the back of the bar-- "Shit!" You screamed, revving up the engine to hear it roar to life. The wheels of your car screeched as you sped down the road shrouded in what looked like a black abyss of darkness. The potent glow of your headlights guided you through the night's lonely streets. Nothing but the sound of the wheels, the wind hitting your car and a continuous thumping in the back of your ears could be heard. Because it was already half-past ten, it was no wonder there were no people on the streets despite being in the shopping district. Not a single soul was found as you searched around frantically for the address you were given as if despair wanted to rub itself in your face with nobody around to help you. When the engine stopped humming and you pulled up in a parking spot just opposite, your phone started to hum and you shot your hand out to pick it up. If you and Alfred were safe at home, you would have declined the call. But you had no choice. "Antonio. Don't hurt him, please." Those were the first words that left your mouth when the call connected. Your voice was shaking. It was only persuasion that could save both of your skins, for he was at leisure to do absolutely anything his twisted mind desired. He could have been anywhere. He could be sitting right next to Alfred at this moment. He could even be outside, watching you plead for mercy into your phone. "Please, I beg of you! He hasn't done anything wrong, he doesn't deserve this!" And he just hummed. He hummed like he himself was not doing anything wrong. "And I beg to differ, mi amor. But since you said please, I won't lay a finger on him-" You let go of the breath you didn't know you had been holding. But you really shouldn't have. "-only if you do as I say." You hid your face with your free hand and let it slide down to your mouth to muffle a few whimpers. Nobody could help you, not the police, not even Alfred who knew of this psychopath of a stalker. So you obliged, but reluctantly to say the least. "... Fine... But how will I know you're not lying? I don't trust you!" "Oh, but you have to trust me, yes?" He responded, unable to bite back a wide smile that came off as anything but friendly. "You have no choice! But I will make sure he gets back home safe, all you have to do is listen to me." "..." He took your silence as a yes, so he went on to instruct you to carry out his plan. And this sick scheme of his was foolproof in his eyes- with careful thinking, impeccable execution and the life of your loved one at stake, success was practically guaranteed. Once he decided that phone calls were simply not enough, he came up with the perfect plot to play you right into his hands. "Text him that you are unable to pick him up. Tell him that you forgot that Arthur had borrowed your car because his broke down. And then say..." Your eyes went round at the mention of Arthur's name. How did he even know he had picked up Peter from your house? More importantly, what else did he know about you and the people in your life? The only plausible explanation was that he was actually a close friend of yours, well not anymore. Either that, or he had been overhearing your conversations and spying on you for the past few weeks. You prayed it was the latter option because it would have been impossible to narrow your suspects down to one person. You knew all your friends for ages, most of them at least, and you loved every single one of them. "... You're still too afraid to even leave the door at night." It was painful how much truth the last statement held. During the time when those calls ceased, you were still paranoid about going out at night alone. "... Okay. And you won't do anything to him when he gets home, right?" You asked in a feeble voice. "I promise." He muttered. "And you'll know if he gets home safe. You can call him, can't you? Now. Before you hang up on me and do that, I want you to do something for me as well." You bit your lip and waited for that sultry voice of his to spell out how you were going to die. He could tell you to do anything at this point. The clever bastard had you wrapped around his thumb by threatening you with Alfred. No matter what it was going to be, you were probably not going to see the light of day again. "When Alfred gets to his own house, I want you to go home." Huh? Confusion flashed onto your face and you knitted your brows together. It was a little less terrifying than you expected, and it sounded too good to be true that you needed to question his motives. "... But why? Aren't you going to like, murder me in an empty alleyway or something? Not that I want you to! Please don't-" A sigh under a grungy filter was heard. "No, why would I ever do that? Didn't I already tell you how much I-" He thinned his lips. "You know what, no more questions. Just do as I say and Alfred will be untouched." He hung up after that, suggesting that there was nothing else for you to do but everything he just told you to. Your lips had separated agape to throw a few more questions his way, but alas, he was gone. But the same minute he ended the call, you sprung into action and texted Alfred to get the hell home. Your thumbs worked quickly against the keyboard, and no matter how much the blonde complained, you continued to persuade him. Eventually, he agreed and arrived home safely. And how did you know that? You did text him to check if he did make it to his house in one piece. As you started up your car, your eyes flickered over to the blinding white light of a seven eleven just opposite. The contrast in lighting immediately grabbed your attention, and for good reason too. Although you needed to squint a little to recognize the hooded figure standing outside the convenience store, you matched a name with his appearance. A few of his dark brown locks curled out from his hoodie, and his facial features including those green eyes grew clearer as you ran up to him. He had his phone pressed up to his ear like he was in a call, but the second before you jumped onto him, he hung up and lowered it. "Tony!" You screamed, leaping up to wrap your arms around his neck. Unfortunately for you, it was hard to keep a hold of such a high place when you were vertically challenged compared to him. He let out a startled scream and fumbled with his phone. Spinning around with wide eyes, he blinked furiously before he offered you a dazzling smile. "(F/N)! Coincidence seeing you here!" He started with a few laughs. "Are you here to pick up Alfred? I just left the bar from getting something I forgot..." Those laughs silenced when he finally saw the face you were making. It was pure horror. "... (F/N)? Are you alright?" He asked softly with a frown downturning his lips. You shook your head furiously and held onto his jacket, digging your fingers into the fabric to secure him there. "I'm sorry for bothering you. But... Could you accompany me home?" You whispered. Your grip on him did not loosen. Breathing shallow and eyes glazed with a layer of tears, he immediately assumed something terrible had happened that night. He did not ask many questions and only grabbed your hand to lead you away. Pulling you over to your car, he sat you in the passenger seat and buckled you in before he went over to the other side and sat behind the wheel. "You don't have to tell me everything if you don't want to, but I'm always here if you need someone to listen." He began to make his way to your house, driving you back in the car you owned. "Do you need to call the police? Medical attention?" "... No. I just... Wanted to see a friendly face." You whispered, staring out the window. It was not a very satisfactory answer, but the less he knew, the safer he was. "I was harassed by a few guys, but I'm not hurt or anything." He opened his mouth to say something else, but you just cut him off by giving him directions. Strange thing was, he did not even need your help finding your neighborhood. But you never bothered to mention it, not that you even noticed it. When he pulled up in your driveway, he opened your door for you and helped you out. As he turned to leave, you grabbed onto his sleeve to stop him from even stepping off your property. "Wait!" He turned around to face you with an inquisitive look. "I know this might sound weird, but... Could you maybe come inside? I'm still a little paranoid." A little paranoid was an understatement. The last time you were home, he had managed to get inside. He even entered your room. Your bed. And the phone call you just had with him just confirmed he was waiting inside for you, so were you just going to let this opportunity of having a friend by your side slip away? The man appeared to be a little hesitant, but when he remembered the reason why he was here, he nodded and trailed after you. Even that was not enough, so you reached out for his hand to pull him up the small flight of stairs to your front door. "Woah, hey! I'm not leaving any time soon, so you can calm down!" He exclaimed, slipping out of his shoes as you jabbed your key into the door. You did the same, except you kicked your shoes off and stormed into your house without sparing them a second look. You threw all of your things onto the couch, only to hear your purse roll off to hit the ground in a thud. "... I just had a feeling someone followed me back home." You finally said, flicking on the lights in all the rooms in your abode as you checked for any intruders. Peering in every room and every possible place that was large enough to conceal a fully grown male, you felt your heart finally calm when you were given fruitless results. The only place under this roof you had not checked yet was the bedroom now. You were subconsciously saving it for last, because you thought it was where he would most likely show up again. So once you explored the second floor, you pulled him into your bedroom expecting to see a creep waiting for you in the corner. But alas, there was nobody. A small hum rumbled from your throat as you walked in, glancing around to inspect the place. You checked under the bed, in the closet, and even in the bin... Just to be sure. And yet, there was no sign of anyone here. "... Hm... That's weird..." You mumbled under your breath, placing your hands on your hips. "Oh! I haven't checked the garden!" You twisted around to walk out the door, but the man there with you had shut it with a click-- the sound of your lock.

Hey Tri :3 ʕっ•ᴥ•ʔっ You know what? I really need to know the continuum of Risotto’s Secret Garden, sono debole 😂 soooo... is Granny Tosca the Don of an enemy group? Will Prosci really kill his beloved nephew? Will Risotto cry? I need the DRAMA 💚

Esteeeeeeeee ⊂(･ω･*⊂) A H, I loved it so much 💖 And I fear you’ll throw at me many boots after reading this aaaaaa gomenasaiiiiiiiii 😂 It’s a bit looong, but I hope you’ll like it! :3

Here’s the first part!

Risotto’s secret garden: second part

(Under the cut for length!)

After that day, Risotto talked even lesser than usual. Prosciutto wasn’t around, busy with his mission, and no one dared to ask him what was in his mind. No one aside Gelato and Sorbetto, the only ones, with Prosciutto, who knew how to deal with Risotto when he was in an awful mood.

“Hey, novellino.” Sorbetto greeted, entering his office without knocking. Just he and Gelato had the right to call the way taller and buffer man “novellino”, rookie, as they had been his mentors and, by now, it was more an affectionate nickname than anything else. Risotto, instead of huffing, as he always did when he was called so, just glared at the older man, silent. Sorbetto sighed, sitting on one of the chairs in front of his Capo’s desk, looking at him for a while, in a calm and patient silence. Risotto, after a little, went back to ignore him and scribble on his papers, hoping that, seeing that he didn’t want to talk, he would have gone on his merry way.

Alas, Sorbetto knew better. He knew how to deal with his pupil, he knew that he needed time. And, lucky -or unlucky- for him, Sorbetto, when he wanted, was a really patient man, as Gelato could confirm.

As he had predicted, after a while, Risotto put down the pen, lifting his gaze on his mentor. His eyebrow was twitching, Sorbetto noticed, before looking again without fear in his red eyes. He never was scared by his almost demoniac appearance nor that he could use Metallica on him. Sorbetto knew Risotto wouldn’t ever have done it.

“So, Risotto? Ready to spit it out?” he asked, crossing his leg. Risotto grumbled and Sorbetto had to chew back a smile. It was like having to deal with a Risotto barely come out from puberty and not his feared and mature Capo, sometimes…

“I’ve nothing to spit out.” at his words, Sorbetto rolled his eyes, What was he thinking, that he was stupid or what?

“Sorry to contradict you, but even an idiot would notice that there’s been something wrong with you, in the last days. It’s about Prosciutto’s mission?” Sorbetto’s black eyes sharpened, seeing the slightest unpleasant twitch in Risotto’s mouth. Ah, so it was so…

“C’mon, novellino. You know you can rely on us.” his voice was slightly gentler, as it was something that evidently was bothering Risotto really a lot. And the things that bothered Risotto to this extent were really, really few and usually really serious.

Risotto sighed, heavily leaning on the back of his chair, closing his eyes for a little while. Why was it so difficult… but Sorbetto was right. He was letting this thing to chew him from inside and how could he lead his group, in such conditions? Maybe talking about it would have helped him for real. And Sorbetto was a discreet man, he was sure that not even a syllable would have left the office.

And so, the Capo told everything. From his first meeting with Tosca, to the warm affection he felt for the lively grandma, how he loved her as she was really his grandma, how she and the group of old ladies grew to be so important to him… and, then, he told him about Tosca’s grandson and that he was the target assigned for that mission.

Sorbetto stayed quiet and silent for a while, absorbing Risotto’s words. Now he was understanding… a really horrible situation indeed. Fate could be really a bitch, uh?

“What do you think to do, when Prosciutto will be back? Avoiding Tosca at all?” he asked, finally breaking the silence. Risotto sighed, looking at him, tired as Sorbetto rarely had seen him. This situation really was a heavy burden for him…

“I don’t know. Her grandson will be surely dead by now and this was a target related to a rival gang. I don’t even know if Tosca suspects this… how would you react knowing that your just dead grandson was a gangster while you were thinking he was a good boy? The shock could even kill her. And… and I can’t let her know that her grandson died because of me, that it was my fault.” he answered, grimacing. He could bear anything, but not the hate of the few people he loved, such as his team and, now, Tosca. Sorbetto slowly nodded, thoughtful, swinging a little his foot, as he always did when he was lost in his thoughts.

“But it’s not your fault, Risotto. We are just executors. And no,- he said, lifting a hand, blocking Risotto’s protests before he could even speak- we can’t just not execute Boss’ orders. You perfectly know that doing it would mean certain death for insubordination, so it’s not something negotiable. It has been a simple and terrible casualty, nothing more. And, in my opinion, right now what Tosca may need more is a friendly presence near her, in a so hard moment. Having you near may help her to face the mourning and get over it quicker than if she was alone.” the man pondered, in a quiet voice. Risotto listened in silence, sighing, after a while. Well… Sorbetto was right. As almost always, in the end; he was his mentor for a reason, all in all. Taking another deep breath, he nodded, earning a small from the usually serious man, before Gelato, after knocking, peeked inside, announcing Prosciutto’s return. Risotto’s heart sank again, knowing what this meant.

It was time.

**

Two days after Prosciutto’s return and after reading again and again his detailed report, Risotto found the strength to go again to the park. His teammate’s report didn’t leave space to doubts: Tosca’s grandson was dead. At least, as he demanded him, Prosciutto ended his life quickly and painlessly. An incredible small comfort, but better than nothing.

It seemed like time was submerged in a molasses jar. Every step was heavy and difficult, as guilt was burdening his heart. To be fair, he didn’t really think he would have found Tosca at the park, not after such a news. He had to change his mind when he saw, on her usual bench, Tosca. She was sitting on the edge, all flopped on herself, as a heavy rock was standing on her shoulders. Risotto’s heart clenched painfully, seeing her like this. It was like he was feeling her pain, it was like feeling the same pain he felt after his cousin’s sudden death. It was so heavy and overwhelming that he was feeling like he was suffocating.

Tosca lifted her head a bit, hearing Risotto approaching. A small, sad and grieving smile bent her lips, making Risotto’s heart even heavier. How much he would have given to not see her like this…

She lightly patted the spot near her, as she always did, and Risotto sat near her, silent. The clear blue sky was slightly covered by white, fluffy clouds that, when they passed in front of the sun, casted the park in a fresh shadow. The birds were chirping, the wind was gently ruffling the leaves, as always. It seemed like everything was as the same, as nothing bad just happened and Tosca, in a moment, would have asked him to hold the skein while she separated the threads… but both of them knew that that day wasn’t like others.

That was a day of mourn and gloom. And that day was time to throw away all the masks.

“I’ve heard about your grandson. I’m sorry, Tosca.” Risotto murmured, finally finding again his voice. How curious, he absentmindedly thought, that he had no problems to face the worst criminals of all Italy on daily basis, following his Boss’ orders, but now… this was the most difficult thing he had ever done, staying near to this old woman grieving for her grandson. He felt like he was dying as well.

“Thank you. But, you know… I was expecting it, soon or later. He too. With the life he had…” she trailed off, sighing. Risotto frowned, hearing those words. What…? She knew, so? And she was so tranquil knowing it?

Seeing the confusion on his face, Tosca smiled again, still sad, even tired. For the first time, Risotto saw on her all the years she truly had, the old lady hidden under her usual gleeful attitude.

“Are you asking yourself how I knew about it, hm? I know a lot of things, Risotto Nero…” Risotto froze, hearing her calling him with his full name. He… never told her his surname. How could she…?

“It’s time for you to know, my dear… but please, don’t let it make you forget the splendid friendship we have, ok?” she said in a hopeful tone. Risotto sighed, nodding, even if still wary. He couldn’t deny her this, after taking from her her grandson. In any case… in the worst case, he would have been ready with Metallica. But just as very last option.

“I know what my grandson did for living ‘cause I was the one who gave him orders, my dear.” she explained, quiet, looking ahead. Risotto, for the second time in few minutes, froze again, completely taken aback. No, wait… this meant that she…? No, it couldn’t be. He couldn’t believe it…

“As you have understood, by now, I’m indeed the Boss of the gang your Boss want to eradicate. Or, better, to absorb, as a big company does with smaller ones, eliminating who opposite to this.” she said, quietly, folding her hands on her lap. Risotto stayed silent, to give her time to explain properly. He didn’t know how he was feeling… so many upsetting news all together. He needed a bit to elaborate it all.

“My grandson was a fierce opponent of this fusion and he payed for this. I am against it too… so I guess that soon or later my turn will come, uh?” another sad smile bent her lips, as she watched Risotto. As she did many times before, she gently patted his hand, squinting at him, making Risotto’s heart hurt even more. Even with her glasses, Tosca’s eyesight was pretty poor, but she always joked about that…

“I’d like you to take the mission on you, when your Boss will give it to your team. I know it’s… a hard request… but please, my dear. You’re the only one I can trust to do this. I know you’ll be… as merciful as possible.” every word seemed to plant a red-hot blade in his heart. He lowered his head, gritting his teeth. How could she ask him, among all people, something like this…? How could she ask him to kill her, the person he considered, by now, his grandma? Did she really think he would have been able to kill her?

Would he be able to do it, all in all…?

Yes, he thought, after a while. He would have been able. Even if only to give her the most merciful and fastest death she could hope to have.

He had to be the one to kill her right because he loved her so much. He owed her it. He owed her a fast and dignified death, as she deserved. If the Boss would have sent Cioccolata and Secco, she would have suffered unbearable hours of pure pain, before finally meeting the sweet release of death. He couldn’t allow it to happen.

For her and all the love and happiness she gave him in those months, he had to overcome his pain and do it. This was her last desire: he had to fulfill it.

“I don’t want to do it.” he said, anyway, quiet. Tosca smiled again, brushing his cheek with her knuckles, as she always did, understanding what he really meant.

“I know, my dear, I know. But you have to. I know how things work, in your organization… if you don’t do exactly like the Boss says, he gets ridden of you. Risotto… you’re still so young, you have many years in front of you. Who knows, maybe one day someone will dethrone your Boss and a new era will start. You have so much time to live… you have time to even find a person you could love with all your heart. You have time to have a family. I have lived many happy years… I’m an old lady, Risotto. I’m tired. But I want to go with the same dignity as I have lived with.” Tosca replied, with a soft voice. Risotto’s lips quivered, as he was trying with all his might to hold back a sob, even if his eyes were dry as a desert. In order to not betray himself, he just nodded at her words, earning a slightly brighter smile from the old woman.

“Thank you, my dear.” she said, before getting up and, as she always did, kissing his cheek in that way that kids hated but that, instead, Risotto found so reassuring. Then, she left, leaving him alone with his thoughts.

He got up just when dusk was falling and slowly come back to the HQ. No one dared to talk to him or ask what he had done all the time he had been out, not even Ghiaccio, who was never scared to speak up, surely tamed by one of Gelato’s famous glares. Risotto, on his own, didn’t say a word and just closed himself in his office, sighing. He felt… empty. So empty, so tired…

He sat down, sighing again and closing his eyes. How much he wished this all to be just a bad dream…

A ping from the laptop broke his thoughts. Risotto opened his eyes, checking the mails, paling a little when he saw it was from the Boss. The Boss usually contacted him just for one reason…

His hand was slightly trembling, when he moved the mouse to open the mail. His heart broke and his eyes stung for tears never shed, when he read the message.

“Next target: Tosca Verdi.”