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canonicallyobserving911 · 20 days

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Buck & Eddie: An EXPLANATION (NOT AN EXCUSE) for the basketball incident

After rewatching different scenes included in 7x4, the basketball scene where Buck appears to ‘intentionally’ bump into Eddie which caused Eddie to be injured pissed me off. It frustrated me so much that I wanted to figure out why the scene was included in the episode because they were playing a friendly game of basketball and there shouldn't have been any injuries.

Even though I’m not well versed in sports, I do know enough about them to understand tackling someone usually happens in U.S. football not basketball, so the full body contact wasn’t necessary if Buck just wanted to block Eddie’s shot (get it… Buck was trying to block Tommy’s shot with Eddie, it’s a double entendre 🤪😜). The point is, I figured there had to be more to Buck’s behavior than him just being ‘jealous’ of someone he met like once a couple of weeks prior. Also, I wanted to know why Buck didn’t immediately apologize to Eddie and I think I may have found the answer.

Full Disclosure: I do NOT condone violence of any kind in any instance because it’s unacceptable behavior no matter how it’s viewed! It’s never the answer to a dispute and use of words can usually resolve a matter when there's a disagreement. In this scene BUCK DID NOT DO THAT AND I HATED IT! Therefore, his actions on the basketball court were unfathomable and it doesn’t matter if they were INTENTIONAL or not since he bumped into Eddie so hard that Eddie fell and injured his ankle. He could have broken it or received a permanent injury from it, so IT WAS NOT OK!

Before I delve into my interpretation, please understand I don’t think Buck was fully aware and I hope he wasn’t intentionally trying to hurt Eddie. However, I do think his actions were 70% subconscious and 30% conscious because he had to know on some level, that his actions were over the top especially since he told Maddie he didn’t like how he felt left out from Eddie spending time with Tommy after only two weeks.

THIS POST DOES NOT INTEND TO PROVIDE AN EXCUSE FOR BUCK’S BEHAVIORS, IT’S SIMPLY A POSSIBLE EXPLANATION FOR THEM.

Please note: these are my interpretations and observations of episode 7x4; therefore if someone doesn’t agree, it’s ok because two people can have different opinions and they can coexist. One person’s opinion about a scene or an episode doesn’t have to be like someone else’s and it doesn’t make one person’s opinion right and the other’s wrong or vice versa. Everyone consumes and interprets media differently and just because one person sees something one way and they liked it, it doesn’t make it so for someone else since everyone has different backgrounds and experiences. Please try to use GRACE when reading other’s thoughts on a matter.

Now back to the regularly scheduled program…

Don’t read below the cut if discussions and interpretations of the shooting, Eddie’s breakdown or the basketball scene are triggering.

Before you start reading, please note, THIS IS NOT ABOUT OS! HE’S THE ACTOR WHO PLAYS BUCK SO DON’T GET THIS POST TWISTED. BUCK IS A FICTIONAL CHARACTER AND OS IS A REAL PERSON. NO ONE KNOWS OS PERSONALLY EXCEPT FOR THE PEOPLE HE ALLOWS IN HIS LIFE.

Another Reminder: before you read this please REMEMBER this episode was told from BUCK’S POV!

After carefully analyzing the basketball scene, I remembered something about Buck’s past. Everyone who knows the character is fully aware that he doesn’t want to be left behind or abandoned again. That's why it's important to note that in season 7, Maddie’s getting married to Chimney, Bobby and Athena almost died on the cruise and Hen and Karen are adopting a baby. Everyone in their found family is moving on with their lives and IMO, when Buck realized Eddie had moved on too, he couldn’t handle it because Eddie’s supposed to ALWAYS be there. They have each other's backs and have had them since 2x1. But it seems like Buck forgot one thing, he pushed Eddie away in 6x15 with that BS line about Natalia seeing him and outside of work, they weren't spending time together anymore.

In 7x4, Eddie found a new friend (who wanted him but I’ll elaborate on that in another post) and he was having a great time going to fights in Las Vegas, spending time working on his cars and going to karaoke, basically he was doing the damn thing but Buck couldn’t handle it since Eddie and Chris are his FAMILY! They’re the two people in his found family that are his but he’s either too scared to say something or I don’t even know what but the point is, he expects them to be there whenever he’s lonely and wants to cook some lasagna or something. But this time they weren’t since Eddie moved on and Buck didn't know what to do about it (Hint: all he had to do was open his mouth and talk🙄).

After I remembered the aftermath of the shooting and Eddie’s breakdown, I realized, in Buck’s mind, he thinks the only time he gets to be with Eddie in the way he wants to be with him (AS HIS HUSBAND) is when Eddie’s hurt (related post linked here) which is FALSE AND UNFOUNDED but in Buck’s mind, he doesn’t know that. If this is his rationale, then he needs to go back to therapy because it’s not true. Eddie added Buck to his will and named him to be Chris’ legal guardian but it appears he still hasn’t fully dealt with his abandonment issues yet and until he does, it's likely he won't be able to move past them.

Before Eddie found a friend with similar interests (which I thought was great) Buck got to be Eddie’s everything and he was Chris' other dad. He's never been a guest in their home and he's slept on their couch numerous times (related post linked here).

That was then and this is now since things changed in season 7 because it appears Buck started to believe his position in Eddie’s and Chris’ lives was in danger and that’s why he reacted the way that he did in 7x4. He thinks the only time Eddie and Chris need him is when Eddie’s hurt and to prove my point, I’ve included two examples below.

In 4x14 (full video of the shooting linked here), after Eddie had been shot and he was in the hospital, Buck was at 4995 S. Bedford St. taking care of their son Chris while Eddie’s then girlfriend, Ana was sitting by Eddie’s hospital bed even though he was in a coma.

Buck had full control of the house and he was fully responsible (with Carla’s assistance whenever he had to go to work) of taking care of Chris, making sure he went to school all while they waited for Eddie to wake up. Make no mistake, Buck was sitting in Eddie’s chair at the dining room table. He’s Chris’ other dad and has been for years.

In 5x14 (video linked here), Buck was literally living with Eddie and Chris after Eddie’s breakdown. He was taking care of the house and their son whenever Eddie went to therapy. He made sure Chris did his homework and he was waiting for his HUSBAND (EDDIE) to come home so he could cheer him up👀.

Chris called him in a panic and Buck rushed over to help. Now, even though Buck had a girlfriend (whom he used to help him get information on how to help Eddie with Equine Therapy), he was literally staying with them to make sure Eddie and Chris both got what they needed.

Bonus points: Buck called Bobby (his found dad) to stay with Eddie so he wouldn’t wake up alone while he left to take Chris to school.

In 7x4, Buck tried everything he could to get EDDIE’S ATTENTION (it was Eddie’s attention he was seeking) but nothing worked since Eddie was so enamored with Tommy and all of Tommy’s toys (I’ll elaborate on this topic too in another post). Buck was pissed so he encouraged Chimney to go to the basketball game with him but trust and believe Buck wanted to be there so he could see EDDIE!

It appears Buck was irrational and irritated and the more he saw the new bond between Eddie and Tommy, the more furious he became.

This is where things get messy because in Buck’s mind (reminder this is from his POV) it’s possible he thought that if he physically injured Eddie, he’d get his place in Eddie’s life back and he’d be able to play the role of HUSBAND (to Eddie) and DAD (to Chris) like he did in the past.

Buck truly believed Tommy was a threat to his place in Eddie’s life and that’s the reason why he reacted the way he did during the basketball scene. The idea of him losing Eddie was real this time just like it was during the shooting and Eddie’s breakdown but there's ONE MAJOR DIFFERENCE.

EDDIE’S HAPPY!

He’s not hurting or pressing Buck to hang out with him and Chris because he went and found a life while Buck was entombed in his loft with the death doula. It’s something Buck couldn’t process or comprehend since he wants Eddie to be there waiting for him.

Buck can’t fathom a life without Eddie and Chris because they're his family and trust and believe he’s never felt threatened by Ana or Marisol because he KNOWS Eddie’s not into them. Reminder, he was the one who told Eddie to breakup with Ana instead of him trying to stick it out like he said he was going to do.

Buck is HYPER aware of Eddie in every scenario which is the reason why he noticed Eddie's discomfort in 5x2 while Ana and Chris were at the firehouse. Also, he ignored Ana when they were there. He wouldn't even look at her. Buck's not bothered by Marisol either because if he was, he would have told Eddie in 7x1 to have her talk to Chris about women instead of asking him to do it.

When Buck’s facial expressions are examined, it’s easy to see he looks mortified at what he'd done to Eddie and the hints of their shared trauma from his past was mixed in too.

This was especially true while Eddie was on the ground.

Bonus points: when was the last time Buck saw Eddie injured and lying on the ground?

Ding, ding, ding… THE SHOOTING! Buck risked life and limb to save Eddie after he was shot in the middle of the street. And I believe he would have reacted differently if Tommy hadn't stepped in and said something that caused Buck to deflate.

Things were different this time because Eddie wasn’t shot but he was injured but Buck caused it and he wasn't able to fix it or save Eddie and take him home or to the hospital. Buck tried but Tommy shot his own shot which caused Buck to foul out of the game and by proxy he thought out of Eddie's life.

In the above GIFs, it’s easy to see how he wanted to reach out to Eddie but his hands wouldn’t move the same way he couldn’t touch him in 4x14 while they were riding in the back of the 133’s fire engine.

Before I end this post, I would be remiss if I didn’t mention how Buck has hurt someone before; it wasn’t physical that time but it was emotional.

BE CLEAR, I’m not a fan of Taylor Kelly’s and I’m not comparing him asking her to move in with him after he did a dumb thing (his words to Maddie in 5x13) with the way he injured Eddie. But I am using this as an example to show his lack of comprehension regarding how his actions affect others and the way it continues to persist.

In 5x13, when he went back to the loft and she was sitting on her own couch, he said, “You think I trapped you” and she responded, “Am I wrong?”, his response was, “I’m not sure”. I think on some level he did know since he was afraid someone else was going to leave him. Eddie wasn't at the 118 and Maddie, Chimney and Jee-Yun had just returned to Los Angeles.

Two years later, in 7x4, Maddie asked him, “You didn’t mean to hurt him (EDDIE), did you?”; he responded, “I don’t know”. His response was very similar to the one he gave Taylor and on some level, I believe he does know since he was 'jealous' of EDDIE hanging out with someone other than him.

IMO, Buck wasn't able to get the emotional skills one usually obtains while they're growing up because of the raggedy Buckley parents since they emotionally abandoned him and Maddie. He’s deathly afraid of losing those he loves but he can also be selfish with his presence whenever he gets to make things all about him. Reminder, he admitted it to Eddie in 3x9 during his second apology about the lawsuit. He said, "I'm sorry I wasn't there Eddie. You and Chris needed me and I had my head so far up my own behind with that stupid lawsuit." He was able to fix it back then and there wasn't any other people like Tommy hanging around to get at Eddie.

Additionally, two more examples of the way he makes things about himself happened in season 5 when he was dating Taylor and they remained entombed inside of his loft. They never went anywhere except for the separate trips they took to Oklahoma when she went to visit her dad in prison. It happened again with Natalia at the end of season 6. Since he wasn’t visiting Eddie and Chris, it appears he was entombed in there again with her so there’s that.

Be CLEAR, Buck is 32 years old (not 30 like the show lied and said he was in 6x11 because he was 28 in season 3 (3x1 Maddie said it to Bobby and Athena) and he was 29 in season 4 (4x5 proves it when he said it himself to Maddie) and since MATH IS A UNIVERSAL LANGUAGE, it’s the same no matter where someone lives. The fact is 2 + 29 = 31, therefore he was 31 in season 6 and he should be 32 in season 7). Buck should be able to express himself with words instead of acting like someone in middle school. That’s possibly the reason why Maddie told him about the kerfuffle she had when she was 14 years old and told him not to act like someone that age.

The point of this post is Buck was/is afraid Eddie’s leaving him again but this time it’s different. Buck had all but abandoned Eddie and Chris while he was dwelling inside of his loft with the dEaTh DoUlA and when he finally emerged after breaking up with her, he thought Eddie and Chris would be there waiting for him but this time they weren’t. Eddie found a new friend and Buck felt left out so in his conscious and subconscious mind, he figured if he hurt Eddie, he would be the one there to take care of him like he’s done every time in the past.

But… Tommy stepped up and said, “I can take him because I brought him and there’s an urgent care near his house”. If you look at the expression on Buck’s face, you can see he felt like it was over. He’d finally done the one thing he thought he’d never do (even though he broke Eddie’s heart in 6x15 with his BS line about “She sees me”) but anyway, he didn’t have a leg to stand on anymore since Tommy was there for Eddie and he helped him by taking him to urgent care.

I HATE THIS SCENE AND I WISH THEY HAD FOUND A BETTER WAY TO HANDLE IT. I don’t like it when either of them gets hurt.

Finally, Buck needs therapy to deal with his inability to handle his emotions. I know a lot of people want him to just move on from his traumas but the fact is he hasn’t and that's why he needs to get help to be able to learn how to process his thoughts instead of him just providing lackluster responses like, “I don’t know” or “I’m not sure”.

His behavior was inexcusable so HOPEFULLY, he’ll have to APOLOGIZE in CANON to Eddie who’s never intentionally injured him.

Will he apologize to Eddie for acting like a middle schooler in 7x5? Only the showrunner, writers, producers, actors and actresses know the answer to that question.

#buddie #eddie diaz #evan buckley #christopher diaz #buckley diaz family #the buckley diaz family #911 abc #911 spoilers #911 on abc #911 meta #911 speculation #911 season 7 #911 season 7 speculation #anti tommy kinard #anti bucktommy #anti eddiemarisol #anti marisol

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skyloftian-nutcase · 13 days

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for writing requests, the chain givin wars a big ol group hug and letting him cry cus let’s be honest bro is not holding up well

Sunsets were always Sky’s favorite.

It was strange, how much a moment in time could change something like that, though. A few evenings ago, the sunset was stained blood read, dripping with anguish and fear, held together by a firm hand and guidance. It hadn’t come from their leader, however - the Hero of Time had been completely consumed by worry over Twilight’s condition, and Sky hadn’t blamed him for it, particularly after finding out they had a blood connection.

But after that initial horrifying sunset, Sky found that the dusk brought only exhaustion and melancholy, a worry that there would be another sunset that would stain the sky with blood.

Sighing, the young knight glanced out his window and saw the person he’d been looking for. While Time had been by Twilight’s side that entire evening, there had been another Hero who everyone had heavily relied on. Sky had tried to mediate and help as best he could as well, but he paled in comparison, certainly in terms of leadership capabilities.

But everything had a toll. Sky could see it well enough.

Exiting the inn, Sky heard the gentle serenade of crickets filling the air as the sun disappeared beyond the horizon. The town was not as peaceful and quiet as camping out in the woods, but it held a warm sense of safety that they usually didn’t have the luxury to enjoy. Any town gave Sky a small degree of anxiety, as they were all foreign to him, but settlements like this put the captain at ease far more than anyone else.

At least Sky knew Warriors could get some peace somewhere. It was obvious the man was trying to seek it.

Warriors heard Sky’s approach, turning his head slightly. His sharp eyes were analyzing him in an instant.

“Hey,” Sky greeted softly, trying to settle the man’s worries; he’d been on high alert ever since Twilight’s injury, and he’d yet to calm down. It had been three days since then. “I just wanted to check on you.”

Warriors blinked, baffled a moment, not expecting such a remark, and then he huffed out a small laugh. “Me? I’m alright. Are you?”

Him? Sky was fine. Sky was always fine. He honestly didn’t feel much of anything anymore, except that sunsets made him anxious. He hoped that would settle eventually, as he did love them. “I’m okay. But I just… you’ve been on edge, you know. Since everything. Do you… our Ordonian is going to be okay now. They said so. You know that, right?”

“Of course I know that,” Warriors replied, his smile fading, voice growing slightly snappish.

“It’s just… you’re not acting like you know that,” Sky continued carefully. “You’re… anything sets you off. Everything has to be in perfect order, everyone has to be on their best behavior. You know? I just… wanted to make sure you were okay.”

Warriors watched him for a long time, face blank. His eyes steadily moved downward until they were staring at nothing, boring a hole in the cobblestone beneath Sky’s feet. The Skyloftian waited patiently, knowing when to be silent and let someone else process. Eventually, the captain sighed heavily.

“You were a great help that night,” Warriors said softly. “I wanted to thank you.”

“It was nothing,” Sky brushed off. “That’s not answering my question.”

Warriors huffed ruefully in response. “You’re not usually this persistent.”

“No,” Sky admitted. “But I’m not usually this worried, either.”

The captain’s eyes finally snapped back up to meet Sky’s. His stony expression softened, and he smiled gently. “I said I’m alright.”

“You can be, yeah,” Sky commented. “Like… you don’t have to wrangle everyone in now, you know. I’m here. Our leader’s getting back into, well… leading. It’s okay to step back.”

Something in the captain’s expression wasn’t quite readable, a kind of strange gentle amusement and haunting sadness. Sky wasn’t sure what to do about it. So he just walked over to him and put a hand on his shoulder. Warriors seemed both inquisitive and slightly apprehensive at the touch, so Sky asked to be sure, “Can I hug you?”

The captain looked as if he didn’t even know what to say with such a request. He blinked once, twice, before a breathy laugh escaped his lips, eyes holding a tenderness to them that Sky wasn’t sure he’d ever seen in them. “Yeah. Yeah, you can.”

Sky smiled in return, leaning in and letting the captain wrap his arms around him. Sky gave what he received, not squeezing too tightly when Warriors’ embrace was hesitantly gentle. As they stood there, though, it seemed like the older knight settled into his predicament a bit more, letting himself relax as Sky held him tighter. Being a little shorter, Sky settled his ear against Warriors’ shoulder, and the gesture made the captain shift a little, resting his own head against Sky’s. His breath was shaky a moment, and Sky heard him swallow thickly.

It only lasted a few moments, but it was enough. Sky ached for the contact, honestly, and wished he could hug him more, but he knew better than to push the matter. Slowly, the two pulled apart. If Warriors’ face was a little more flushed than before, neither of them commented on it.

“Thanks, Sky,” the captain said quietly.

Sky’s smile was brighter than the sunset. “Anytime.”

#you ask skye answers #lovely anon #writing #linkeduniverse #linked universe #lu sky #lu warriors #He definitely deserves a hug bless him #Warriors doesn’t strike me as the most touchy feely dude #But Sky is definitely a hugger #They found a happy medium #I love giving people hugs #Sadly so many of my coworker buddies are not huggy people #So I always have to ask first #Most of the time they don’t mind LOL #Anyway I’m rambling #Warriors deserves all the comfort and love that man busted his butt to keep the group together

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ntaras · 7 months

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Bi-Han Analysis

Though the primary focus of this analysis is Bi-Han, I also do analyze Kuai Liang a bit. This analysis is also mostly for me to put my general thoughts together, so the formatting is a bit hard to read and messy.

This analysis is not written with the datamined dlc story in mind, so for the love of god do not bring that up if you want to respond to this post. I also hate the way the brothers and the Sub-Zero vs. Scorpion rivalry was presented, but I’m writing this analysis with an attempt at avoiding placing criticism in the center (because I do have a lot of criticism that does conflict with this analysis.)

Also, this is not meant to prove Bi-Han as “not evil”, because no, he isn’t, but he’s still an antagonist who’s making very bad choices. Also I talk about my own speculation regarding Bi-Han’s relationship with his father, and I want to make clear that I’m not trying to paint their father in a bad light because he is not canonically presented as abusive or evil. It comes off like that, but that’s not my intention. I’m too lazy to rewrite that portion of the analysis so this is just a heads up.

Bi-Han is a walking self-sabotaging tragedy, and with Kuai Liang as Scorpion, they were doomed from the start for their relationship to shatter. You have the eldest brother: Sub-Zero, who feels forced into submission and forced to conceal his “true worth”. You have the younger brother: Scorpion, who watches his older brother be consumed by his desperation to be something, and stands unsure of how to help him.

Bi-Han’s desire for power is the highlight of his character. His and the Lin Kuei’s role as Earthrealm’s defenders isn’t something that satisfies him- it isn’t something that shows his worth. He thinks he’s worth more than simply hiding in the shadows, waiting, and waiting for threats to emerge. Defending Earthrealm brings him no value, but perhaps taking part in ruling it would give him value (Sub-Zero: “You wield the power I aspire to be” Sindel: “Too bad you’re unfit for it, Sub-Zero.”) He wants to bring the Lin Kuei to the light, show that his clan is deserving of power. (From his bio: “Under his leadership, the Lin Kuei will come out of the shadows and fight for its place as one of Earthrealm’s great nations.”)

I’m really emphasizing the word “shadow”. It’s an obvious reference to Noob Saibot, and it seems like the story is going for the route that Bi-Han is already someone in the dark, yet he doesn’t view himself to be in the dark. (Scorpion: “A shadow’s fallen on your soul.” Sub-Zero: “No, brother. I’ve seen the light.”) As the darkness envelops Bi-Han, he can only see that darkness as the light.

Bi-Han refuses to see himself in the wrong, and even says his ambition is confused for evil. (Ashrah: “There are many in the Netherrealm just like you.” Sub-Zero: “You conflate ambition with evil, Ashrah.”) That dialogue also implies that Bi-Han does not believe he will end up in the Netherrealm for his actions, because he doesn’t view himself or his actions as “evil”. Everything he’s done has been for the better- has been for the good of the Lin Kuei.

I wondered why Bi-Han was so loyal to the Lin Kuei in this timeline, as in previous timelines Bi-Han’s loyalty to his clan was because he was kidnapped by that clan, and conditioned to be their warrior (but still agreed to help Raiden and save Earthrealm.) So why is Bi-Han so loyal to the Lin Kuei in this timeline?

This is more speculation than an analysis I can support with hard evidence, but if you’re asking what I personally think, I’d like the case to be that there was something deeper going on. That somehow, his father put so much pressure on Bi-Han (not intentional pressure) as the future Grandmaster and a protector of Earthrealm, Bi-Han ending up warping that role as “protector of Earthrealm” into his own desire for the Lin Kuei to show all their true ability is to not defend Earthrealm- but govern Earthrealm. Why must their efforts go unrecognized if their role is so important? Also this plays into his role as the first born son, the eldest child who ends up being the one responsible for their younger siblings. As the eldest, he knows what is best for his siblings. As Grandmaster, he knows what is best for the Lin Kuei.

All the dialogue regarding their father paints him in a good light- even dialogue from Bi-Han. Bi-Han never once accuses his father as being abusive in some manner, but only as weak and lacking vision. So, there is no denying that he was a good man, but he’s still a man of mistakes, such as being the man indirectly responsible for the murder of Tomas’s family. The fact that that murder happened in the first place does raise a lot of questions about the inner workings of the Lin Kuei and how their father led the Lin Kuei.

It does feel like their father’s death is still not fully revealed. His death is only referred to as an “accident” and not delved into further besides Bi-Han allowing him to die. (Scorpion: “I want to see the moment my father died.” Geras: “You are not ready to receive that knowledge.”) That could mean that there is more to his death, Kuai Liang isn’t ready to see that moment because he’d get all raged up, or it could mean nothing because that’s how a lot of dialogue is.

The way their father led the Lin Kuei- and how the Lin Kuei has always been in this new era, was by teaching them to be submissive (to follow rather than lead.) And in Bi-Han’s eyes: weak.

The fact that Bi-Han didn’t kill his father, but instead let him die, is fascinating. We can also compare that act, to how Bi-Han is submissive to Liu Kang until he’s away from Liu Kang and listens to Shang Tsung. ALSO, it’s interesting how Bi-Han doesn’t listen to Shang Tsung’s offer until he is in chains. Even if he let his father die, Bi-Han still was loyal to Liu Kang nor did he change the Lin Kuei in any way (we also do not know how recently their father died, so he may have not even had the time yet to drastically change the Lin Kuei on his own, but I think that’s besides the point). He aches for the right moment to “step up”- to separate himself from what he believes binds him.

We see Liu Kang keep Bi-Han from being “too antagonistic”. After Liu Kang calls Bi-Han and Kuai Liang over in chapter 1, we see Bi-Han get hostile towards Kung Lao and try to advance towards him, but is stopped by Liu Kang. He glances at Liu Kang, wanting to bark back, but keeps quiet. In chapter 2, Liu Kang looks at Bi-Han when he yells “enough!” and Bi-Han quickly bows in apology.

He keeps that loyalty to Liu Kang, until he is physically in chains, until he is physically shackled. He does not want to be prisoner to that loyalty of submission anymore.

His submission to his father’s ruling of the Lin Kuei and Liu Kang’s Godhood is something he doesn’t want, because he feels like he is worth more than submission. He doesn’t want to be treated “so lowly".” He wants recognition for his skills- he’s eager to show himself off and prove that yes, he is a warrior.

If Liu Kang had chosen Bi-Han to be champion, then mayhaps this desire for power and self-sabotage Bi-Han participates in would have been avoided. However, it’s understandable why Liu Kang didn’t choose Bi-Han to be champion despite clearly having the talent to be one: Bi-Han always dies at a tournament. He didn’t want to risk Bi-Han’s death, and then the resurrection of Noob Saibot (or a falling out between Kuai Liang- Scorpion- and Bi-Han that resulted in Kuai Liang killing Bi-Han). But, it seems Bi-Han set himself down that dark path anyways.

Now, onto Kuai Liang and a brief look into the relationship between the three brothers.

The story fails at showing us that the three brothers do care about each other, but it’s just barely there.

In Kuai Liang’s bio, it states two things: “...though he took pride in knowing that his brother, Sub-Zero, would succeed their father as the Lin Kuei's Grandmaster.” and “...he fears that may one day have to battle his brother for control of the Lin Kuei’s legacy.” He views Bi-Han as Grandmaster with pride, and is scared of having to fight him- scared of choosing duty over his brother.

Kuai Liang verbally tells Bi-Han multiple times to “watch himself”- reminding Bi-Han of his duty (honoring their father) and questioning Bi-Han’s roughness with Johnny Cage. You do see Kuai Liang keeping an eye out on Bi-Han (as he states later in the game, he was aware of Bi-Han’s frustrations). Kuai Liang doesn’t even mind Bi-Han’s ambitions, as evident in the scene where they enter the treasure chamber. “There will be spoils in this war,” says Bi-Han as Kuai Liang does not chastise him for wanting those “spoils”, but responds with “let us win it first, brother.”

If I’m being honest, I don’t even think Bi-Han was referring to the actual treasure as “spoils”, but rather the glory that treasure holds. Bi-Han doesn’t really have a desire for treasure, especially a bunch of coins, so I couldn’t really view him as having an actual desire for some coins and gems. And I think Kuai Liang’s response was him answering Bi-Han’s hidden desires- that Bi-Han can achieve his desire to “shine” after they finish their job. For Bi-Han to achieve his ambitions, he must earn it first.

Up until the reveal of Bi-Han letting their father die, Kuai Liang is incredibly patient with Bi-Han.

Regarding Tomas and Bi-Han’s relationship: Bi-Han doesn’t hate Tomas! Their relationship is complex with Tomas being the youngest brother and being adopted into the family, but it’s not wrong to say Bi-Han does care about him (as clearly evident by the “You are both unharmed?” comment).

I really do think Bi-Han being the eldest sibling is important to his character. It’s a role that brings him frustration as he cannot get his younger siblings to listen to him (them “abandoning” him and the LIn Kuei), and loses control over them. His anger is harsh towards Tomas, as is “what he gets” for being the younger brother, yet Tomas still cares for Bi-Han despite Bi-Han stating Tomas is not Lin Kuei.

Bi-Han, in all his cruelness and frustration, cares about his brothers. And they care about Bi-Han. It’s evident in the fact that the brothers are so adamant on being the ones to kill/capture the other, not allowing anyone else “the privilege”. They are deeply hurt by the others' betrayal, and any hatred that comes from them is out of a broken heart.

Kuai Liang did try to kill Bi-Han. After Bi-Han reveals that he allowed their father to die, Kuai Liang loses it, and knocks Bi-Han down, and you see him raise his chains ready to kill Bi-Han. Kuai Liang would have regretted it. He was in a moment of seering, blind rage, allowing his emotions to fully take over him. You know he would have regretted it, because in their confrontation outside the temple, Kuai Liang doesn’t kill Bi-Han. And if I’m being honest, I don’t even think that Kuai Liang knew he almost killed Bi-Han.

“You are my Grandmaster no longer.” Not, “you are my brother no longer.” Kuai Liang disowns Bi-Han as his leader, but not as his brother. Even if Bi-Han shed his own brother’s blood, Kuai Liang cannot truly renounce his own blood. It’s their bond and their curse as brothers- as Sub-Zero and Scorpion: they are forever connected by rivalry and siblinghood.

Their love is deep, but their hatred is even deeper. But is it not the same when it comes to siblings? Is that cruelty not the same as a loving embrace?

#mortal kombat #sub-zero #bi-han #kuai liang #i have more to say but i’ve been holding this off for a week #so you get general thoughts on bi-han #also i was going to add my criticism about the writing and how they wrote the brothers and their story but that’s a whole other can of worms

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natalynsie · 10 months

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Candy (Noco Oneshot)

Cody’s afternoons consisted of normal teenage things. Playing video games, doing homework, and thinking about Gwen.

So, a usual Thursday afternoon, Cody was laying in bed, watching a youtube video but not fully paying attention, and thinking about Gwen.

He thought about how she looked today in Spanish, and the things she said, all the typical stupid delusional teenage boy things that consumed Cody’s life.

Yeah. By this point, Cody knew he had no shot with Gwen. He stopped flirting with her for the most part. And they were chill as friends. Well, more like acquaintances. Either way, he stopped all of that because at this point he knew he was being annoying. But that didn’t stop him from thinking about her.

Cody yawned and turned off his phone.

Spanish was great. Cody loved sitting behind Gwen. When the teacher wasn’t being a stickler, Cody had a good time talking to Trent, Gwen, and Noah. And he did. And Gwen looked so good. She put her hair up in a half-up-half-down and she couldn’t have looked cuter. Cody was 79% sure she caught him staring.

Cody rubbed his eyes, adjusting his pillow.

Noah looked pretty cute too. He wore jeans today, and this cute little button-up shirt. Cody wondered why Noah had dressed so nicely these past few weeks. Whatever it was, Cody was not complaining. He didn’t mind a little eye candy.

In English that morning, they played grammar games. It was table versus table, and the winners each round got candy. If that wasn’t a motivator, Cody didn’t know what was.

Unfortunately, the rest of the class thought the same way.

“The second sentence should have a comma. You need to move you’re in the way. should have a comma between move and you’re. Congratulations to Eva’s table.”

Eva smirked at Cody and his table.

Ms. Brown walked to Eva’s table with a bowl of candy.

“Thank you Ms. Brown,” Harold said dryly. Leshawna, Ezekiel, and Eva just responded by taking their candy.

“You won this time Eva, but we will be victorious!” Izzy exclaimed.

“Calm down Izzy,” Noah suggested.

Izzy shook her head at Eva before returning her eyes to her own table with Noah and Cody.

“We gotta step up our game, guys,” Cody heard Courtney say from another table with Duncan and Alejandro. Cody turned his attention to Trent’s table, but it seemed he, Tyler, and Justin weren’t really interested. The other two tables did seem in-the-game, though.

“Okay, gameplan,” Noah began. “Me and Izzy do the work. Cody checks us over if we get our paper returned. Owen gives the paper to Ms. Brown when we tell him to because he sits the closest. Ready?”

“Wow, Noah. I didn’t know you liked candy that much,” Izzy expressed.

“Yeah, I thought you weren’t big on sweets,” Owen confessed.

“I’m just competitive,” Noah stated.

“No, you aren’t,” Cody replied. “You’re in my gym class. I’ve never even seen you touch a dodgeball.”

Noah crossed his arms, leaning back in his chair. He took a quick glance at Cody before looking away. “I’m just into the game.”

“Ohhh,” Owen smiled. “I get it.”

“Get what?” Cody asked.

Owen laughed. “Nothing.”

Cody remained confused, but brushed it off. “Well I’m glad you’re doing whatever you’re doing, because I love candy.”

“We know,” Noah stated.

“I didn’t,” Izzy told the group.

Ms. Brown handed out the new papers. “Three, two, one, turn your papers over.”

Papers all around the room were immediately turned over.

Cody watched as Izzy and Noah stared at the paper, analyzing every word.

"Capital," Noah deadpanned, scratching the paper with his pencil.

Izzy made some changes all well before Noah handed the paper to Owen.

Owen charged for the teacher's desk, but unfortunately he came back with the paper. "We got the first 3 right but we're missing something."

"Cody," Noah said, shortly.

Cody nodded and immediately took the paper. "You forgot punctuation here," Cody pointed to a spot that read "I asked for a ham sandwich" he said. "Wait. Comma or period?"

"Comma," Noah answered quickly. "Dialogue with dialogue tags after it always has a comma instead of a period."

Cody quickly added a comma and handed the paper back to Owen.

After skimming two other papers Ms. Brown took Owen's.

"Good job. Owen's team wins this round."

Ms. Brown explained why Noah's team won, a few groans at simple mistakes were heard around the room.

Ms. Brown took the candy bowl and let the group each take a piece.

Cody quickly grabbed a green apple jolly rancher and popped it in his mouth.

"I can't believe you like green apple," Noah stated, twirling his snickers bar between his middle and pointer finger.

"It's the best flavor, no questions asked," Cody responded.

Noah rolled his eyes. "Whatever. Want my chocolate?"

"Really?"

"I wouldn't say it if I wasn't offering."

"Okay. Sure." Cody took Noah's snickers, smiling widely.

Noah smiled back.

Cody sat up in bed. He looked at the clock for a moment before staring back at his wall.

When the hell did I start thinking about Noah?

How did he get from Gwen to Noah? He was just thinking about how beautiful Gwen looked and all the things she did today and then he started thinking how beautiful Noah looked and all the things he did today.

And Noah looked so beautiful today.

Why was Cody thinking about how beautiful his friend was?

"Fuck," Cody whispered. "I like him"

Cody laid back down. He liked him. He liked Noah. Of all people.

And why? Because he wore a goddamn button-up shirt and gave him a candy bar in English. Izzy really was right when she said his type was girls who are mean to him and boys who are nice to him.

Cody did not need to like a boy. That was not something he needed to do. Especially with his parents.

Well to look on the bright side, maybe this would help him get over Gwen. Hopefully. But he hoped it wouldn't give him another useless unrequited crush.

Either way, this was a problem for morning Cody.

#fanfiction #fanfic #oneshot #cody x noah #codyxnoah #high school #high school au #noah x cody #noahxcody #td #total drama #td cody #td noah #td gwen #td izzy #td owen #natie fics #natie wawanakwa high school fics

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eventhorizon081 · 1 month

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Quick analysis of the "rondo across countless kalpas" short (that I'm doing instead of reading Freud because that man needs to shut up):

Majority of the short is pretty self-explanatory, but the one part that stuck with me was (of course) the hunt sequence. Ignoring the inconsistency of all the predator/prey depictions being from food chains on Earth only, it's interesting that the final image (that swallows all of the others) is that of a black hole, or IX (the Nihility). Not sure why people haven't made this connection yet, but that probably implies that IX is the "apex predator" of the cosmos, and will inevitably "consume" all. (Other notable images, from what I remember, is the spider being eaten by the venus flytrap -- just a little bit ironic and unexpected, I suppose).

It's also interesting that Black Swan's "death" is depicted by a skeletal swan with all her feathers lost -- we see this throughout the dance as she continually loses feathers, but I'm not too sure about the significance of that because she does turn into flocks of birds, thus seeming as if the feathers are just a part of her and not something that's meant to be quantitatively lost or gained. Anyways, the conventional symbolism of feathers/flight is freedom, so that could just symbolize Black Swan's complete inability to escape Acheron's mind realm in that moment, or some larger "imprisonment" that will likely rear its head in the 2.1 main questline (well, if there is one).

Overall, for how excited I was about the short when I first watched it, I'm a little disappointed by how little there is to analyze (in the context of plot, not ships). Still, I'm extremely excited to see an elaboration on Black Swan and Acheron's relationship (and don't even get me started with the sexual tension in that dance), and I'll probably be writing up something about them and the myth of Hades and Persephone. (Don't expect it to be romantic, though. I'm sick of the romanticization of that myth.)

#hsr acheron #honkai star rail #hsr black swan #eve rambles

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brightmalcolm · 2 months

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I'm so happy I found your blog! This show has been my hyper-fixation ever since it came out and it's nice to find people who still talk about the show :)

ANYWAYS, I just started reading The Count of Monte Cristo (for totally normal reasons, and not so I can deeply analyze S1E13 "Wait & Hope") and I wanted to know your thoughts on the fact that The Count of Monte Cristo was Malcolm's favorite story growing up. Because this book, like said in the episode, is about a man murdering for revenge (take this with a grain of salt I'm on page 73). And I can't help but think about Martins though process of reading this story about murder to Malcolm. Because in the episode, We get a flashback of Martin reading the story to Malcolm, and He's acting out a scene from the book where I think the Count kills one of the men who betrayed him (again I'm only on page 73 I'm not completely sure). And he makes the act of murder seen fantastical, fun, and light-hearted. Which makes me think that when he reads this story to Malcolm, not only to get Malcolm used to the idea of murder, but to also prematurely downplay his crimes. So when Malcolm found out that Martin's a Serial Killer as a kid, Martin could then say, "Well you didn't have a problem with it when I read those crimes to you, why do you have a problem with it now?" And we see the adult version of this when Malcolm is an adult, Martin brings up the fact the he never killed anyone on his operating table, he only killed people when off the clock. Which of course means that his crimes aren't as bad as they really are because he could have done so much worse!

AND THE WAY MALCOLM WOULD HAVE LOOKED BACK AND THOUGHT HE SHOULD HAVE KNOWN BECAUSE OF THE BOOK!!

because of course Martin the Murder would read a murder book instead of a normal Fairytale, of course Martin would only act out the murder scenes from the book. It just gets the trauma ball rolling, like give my guy a break please he's had enough.

hi omg it's nice to hear from you!

so obligatory I have not read the count of monte cristo so take everything I say with a big grain of salt bc I am just going off the wikipedia page and conversations I've had with people who have read it. I like to think everything (or at least most things) with this show are intentional so I enjoy looking in to these kind of details to see what they might mean. I think one way to look at it is the writers trying to do a short hand for malcolm being an intelligent and precocious child and a bit kind of like "ha ha of course malcolm's favorite childhood book was an old french classic about revenge and not like the magic tree house bc he's so eccentric and pretentious." also it ties nicely into a murder investigation that they can base on the story to give malcolm more reasons to know a bunch of random info to help with the case.

but when it comes I think with martin basically anything can be used as a tool for manipulation, even if in another context it wouldn't be by someone else. like the count of monte cristo doesn't seem like something super out of left field for a parent to read their child in my opinion, yeah it involves murder but a lot of books involve heavy subject matter and are still read at any age. so I don't want to imply it's like bad or odd for a child or their parent to read something like that, I was reading things like the outsiders and the hunger games around malcolm's age which are both kids/young adult books but also contain death and violence. BUT I think with martin he definitely could have had some more ulterior motives and again, the show deliberately made reading the book a memory malcolm had with his dad so I think the writers definitely had intent behind details like that.

so yes I get what you're saying and could 100% see it being used that way in martin and malcolm's dynamic. I think it's in the vein of how malcolm collects murder weapons in that it demonstrates how death and murder kind of consume his life even in to his interests and hobbies and how martin's shadow is always there (again, not saying reading about murder or being interested in it mean you're a serial killer obviously but in the context of like themes in the story, a reoccurring one is malcolm's preoccupation with death and how it relates to his trauma from his father). like the example you gave, martin is very good at justifying what he has done, especially and specifically to malcolm bc he knows his son is already traumatized by his actions and desperate for some logical reasoning behind them when there just really isn't one. the way martin acts out the story is also an interesting point. again, not trying to imply this is like inherently something bad or problematic but specifically in the context of this show and this relationship it definitely shows how martin kind of presents murder to malcolm. like it's all about the larger context for me; what does this mean with the information we already know by episode 13 and what conclusions should we draw from it. and I think it makes sense how you interpret the episode!

anyway TLDR the way martin talks about murder with his son is a vital part of their dynamic. martin knows malcolm wants to understand his seemingly incomprehensible actions and he uses this multiple times in the show to try and manipulate him in to thinking different ways about them, whether that is by telling malcolm he is somehow responsible for him murdering people (see 1x02) or that he saved more people than he hurt (see 1x07) or that he has changed completely (see 2x13) ect. ALSO I just remembered how interested I am in how this show portrays the concept of monstrosity and wow this TLDR is getting long specifically in the episode you referenced eye of the needle 1x14 and how martin says something along the lines of "I'm the monster, so vanquish me" as if simplifying the concept down to that of a storybook, like he's a dragon to be slain and how he tells malcolm there's no such thing as monsters in the pilot, conjuring the image of like a child who thinks there's a monster under their bed or in their closet. so the lines kind of get blurred and martin will ultimately use every tool in his disposal to manipulate malcolm in different ways, even using things that are innocuous on their own or in a different context. would love to hear everyone else's thoughts especially if you've read the book :)

#omg this got LONG sorry i love this show i love overinterpetting this show #answered #anonymous #likeeee ugh makes u think

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saezurumurmurs · 9 months

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Hey!!...how are you??. I just wanted to ask you about what do you think about Alice Osman words about bl/yaoi. From my point of view, she sounds quite pretencious, because I dont feel "heartstoppers" is that great , and she just from be british she has the opprtunity a big plattaform as netflix oppen their doors, so she cant imagine what is been an asian author and how actually his work is BL.

Taking Advantage of A Fandom

I watched the show, and haven’t read the comic. However @absolutebl posted a terrific commentary on this issue a while back:

From my perspective, BL and by extension, yaoi, is a uniquely Asian sub genre of erotic romance.

Alice Osman is a British creator who wrote a young adult LGBT+ romance comic. So the comparisons made seem ‘convenient’ for ‘marketing purposes’.

I personally resent the accusations lobbed against fujoshi of fetishisation, because it’s rooted in anti-woman rhetoric and I won’t have my tastes dictated to me. Everybody has opinions, but not all of them are valid.

BL is full of problematic tropes, just like regular M/F romance… and I’ve been reading romance and erotica for forty odd years. But these tropes are part of romance as a genre, and these tropes reflect our lived context. To single out BL/Yaoi as unique is nonsense. The tropes exist because the reality exists. Storytelling exists to allow us to find empathy for one another.

There are some good academic pieces out there, that debate this far better than I can. What I can tell you is that the internalised and externalised misogyny regarding BL content, is quite painful to me. Somebody always gotta rush on to tell women what they can and cannot enjoy. Dictate their sexuality and shame them for their pleasures.

We literally can’t have a damn thing nice, without some bozo trying to make us feel bad because we like it. Chile, I’m too old for that shit. We are allowed to like what we like, and enjoy problematic media just like anyone else. We are people too!

And lest you think otherwise: homophobia and transphobia’s roots are in anti-woman thinking and policies. That women do it to other women… well, it’s nice to be somebody’s favourite pet isn’t it. You get a padded cage, and the best kibble.

Osman benefits from the BL label, even though her story isn’t in my opinion BL. But criticising and alienating potential readers within the BL fandom seems to be a bit of a sport across ‘BL’ as it’s being broadly defined here. Because throwing shade on fans happens too much… by too many creators both Asian and Western.

Which is interesting, because the global market consuming this content is HUGE. You don’t understand the numbers of people reading Painter of The Night. I believe last year, it was more than all the people who bought romance novels in the West COMBINED. So if you think the Western authors don’t know the market for their stories are pale compared to what BL is doing on a global level, I should encourage you all to get interested in the business of BL. There is a lot of money and soft power in it.

But because it’s a FEMALE audience interested in SMUTTY stories, well… it’s a PROBLEM. Even in the countries of origin.

I get that we should analyze the problematic tropes in BL/Yaoi, but that’s what storytelling is for. I’m not for false equivalencies, because I personally disdain most Western content… and where do you see these types of stories in profusion from Western creators? No place. That’s where.

Maybe Osman has feelings because her story is no Painter of The Night. Maybe somebody asked her one too many times about our smutty stories… and what we got was shade and salt.

I did watch Heartbreaker on Netflix, and it was cute but I don’t feel compelled to rewatch it, the way I do say KinnPorsche or Love In The Air. I haven’t been moved to hunt down the comic to find out what happens next, the way I did when I watched that last scene of Twittering Birds Never Fly: The Clouds Gather.

Chile… Osman could NEVA.

#boys love #yaoi #debates #bl fandom #yaoi fandom #yaoi manga #yaoi manhwa #bl series #thai boys love #kblseries #shounen ai

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kaypeace21 · 2 years

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In light of the disappoitment that was s4 vol 2, I just wanted to thank you for all the effort you put into analysing stranger things and showing us an amazing story that I honestly would've much rather have seen. I dropped the show after s3 because it seemed like a different show to me and only picked it up again after reading your theories and for a moment, after vol 1, with all the stuff both the actors and the duffers were saying, I thought we were going to get that story, with el developing, will showing his importance as a character, the message regarding trauma, a young queer romance (byler) in the 80's, everything. But I was terribly wrong and superestimated the duffers as writers.

Regardless of all that, your theories made an incredible plot and helped me enjoy my rewatch of the show a lot more, noticing all the stuff you had pointed out and forming theories of my own for the characters and the plot. All in all, you could've written stranger things (and have made it way better too!), but the duffers could never write the plot you constructed.

I don't mean to put you on a pedestal, that wouldn't be fair, but I admire you and wanted to express that. I'll try to have a small bit of hope for s5, but, in case it lets me down again, I wanted to say I would've loved to see this story and it's sad that it didn't happen (well I guess ao3 is there for a reason, the fix it fics will consume all my time lmao).

Sorry for making this so long, hope you're having a great day/night <3

Wow! That's so sweet. Thank you- I really appreciate the kind words🥺💛💛

Yeah, I'm holding out some hope for s5. But my bar has been put quite low, so I'm not dissapointed again. Even though some aspects of the writing were good (other aspects were not). I'll probably watch s5 to just have closure. And if it's worth it - I'll analyze the last season.

Lol - maybe I really should write a novel XD

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gillianthecat · 1 year

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Although I hadn't been particularly following Build or the Kinnporsche actors in general, that show was my entry point into BL fandom and I still see a lot about it and the actors crossing my dash. I tend not to seek out behind the scenes or "real life" information about actors (with occasional exceptions of hyper-fixations on specific people) and stay well aware that I know next to nothing about what actors and their relationships are really like, that what they show about themselves is crafted and intentional and may or may not reflect reality. And so I was slightly surprised to find myself feeling emotionally discombobulated by the news coming out about Build and Poi.

I do not know what happened, and I offer no opinions and guesses on what actually happened, and who in their circles knew what. This post is about me, not them.

I have the urge, always, to know what's happening, to seek out information, to understand the truth of the matter. I thought could stay "neutral" about this, that is, not seek out information but calmly consume what came across my dash. But I just now filtered all the relevant tags I could think of. I want to understand, but the truth is simply not available to me right now. And may never be. And while a part of me feels like it's disrespectful to the victim, whoever they maybe, to not want to know the truth of what happened, the fact is my knowing or not knowing doesn't change a thing about their lives. They don't know me, I have no power over their lives, and that is how it should be.

I think I find this upsetting for a couple reasons. First, I did like Build as an actor. He was the one in the cast who's acting I found most compelling, who seemed the most skilled to me, and I have been curious to see what he does next. So there is that feeling of loss, or worry about loss, that if these allegations turn out to be true, I will not get that. Because even if he gets to keep acting (although the climate for a relatively unknown Thai BL actor is very unlike that for someone like CK Louis so I suspect if the allegations are true he wouldn't get more work) I would not be able to watch him anymore, and so that would be a loss. And, even though I hadn't thought I'd had expectations for him as a person (and even less so after I'd heard bits and pieces about previous bad behavior of his) I am surprised to find I do have a sense of betrayal about it. He does seem like a nice guy. I do like the way he presents himself, at least in the little bits I've seen.

And of course, abuse is just unpleasant. Thinking about real people hurting each other of course is going to make me feel unhappy. In fiction, it's safely contained, there's a narrative arc, and no real people were actually harmed, so I can analyze it, get in my feelings about it. But with rumors of abuse by real people, there is no catharsis available.

And then lastly, there is the confusion of it all. They both have bad reputations in some way or other, there is evidence presented that may or may not be credible, I'm getting everything third or fourth hand and through at least one layer of translation that may or may not be accurate. Fans have strong opinions on either side, "she is a known awful person and so she must be lying," "she posted photos so he must be guilty," and I get overwhelmed by the certainty they show, the stregnth of the connection they seem to feel for these actors and writers they don't know personally.

Most of the people I follow have much more measured takes, recognizing that we (that is, everyone outside of Poi and Build and their inner circles) don't actually know what's happening, but it's only natural to have opinions and guesses about it. And I'm finding that even reading those makes me feel like I too should know what's happening, even though I don't need to and in fact it's impossible for me too. My internal tension between, believe victims, accusations are rarely lies versus everything I've read about her makes her sound like an abusive harasser versus of course that doesn't mean that she's lying and abusers can also be abused themselves versus I don't know what stories that I've read about any of them are actually true. And perhaps a few of the facts I could verify, but, as I said above, it wouldn't help me understand much more and only make me feel worse.

I was reluctant to post anything, because I don't want to add to the speculations and unfounded opinions about this, or clutter up the dashes of anyone else trying to avoid the topic altogether. But I decided for my own sake I needed to get this stuff out of my head and onto the page, so here it is. Not sure if any of the words make sense or manage to convey what I'm feeling, but at least its not rattling around in my brain poisoning my mood.

You are all welcome to come talk to me about your feelings about this news, and how it's affecting you personally, although I'd prefer not to get speculation about what happened, or opinions on who is telling the truth.

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genericpuff · 1 year

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To me the problem with lore olympus and rachel is that she keeps the fan feedback too close to her chest, yes it does "affect her because she's very sensitive" which is smth rachel has said before in interviews and stuff, but the problem is that if u let fan opinions get in the way of ur work maybe u should set boundaries with the way u interact with fan content OF UR OWN WORK.

Im not sure if im explaining myself correctly, but the way rachel somehow always tries to prove criticism wrong and has slowly started ignoring the foundations she previously set is making everything just so flat and boring. She doesnt work with what we've already read but trying to somehow "fix" things that are sometimes not clear on the get go.

For example, u (and a lot of people) complained about how demeter explicitly said she always put persephone in white (when persephone has willingly been wearing that color through the entire series). Meanwhile, i remember having read a post from loreolympians on instagram (iirc) analyzing perse's change of color scheme during s2.

The problem with these things is that rachel has most likely been engaging with these fans who take for granted that she plans everything out or that everything has a deep meaning (which to a sense you should do, because having faith in the author is usually how to go about analyzing storytelling), and somehow it's become a strange echochamber and it results in these weird, very blatantly written to be noticed, details or moments htat try to be smart but are just flat bc rachel doesnt give any effort to anything else aand prefers telling rather than showing so she can feel like a good author when fans obviously point these out

Jdhdjd these are just my two cents and sorry for the long rant but yeah basically rachel should separate herself from the fandom and try to write more objectively and focusing on the narrative instead of taking every little criticism of her comic so personally

Honestly, I can get being a little squeamish around criticism, shit I've had analysis stuff on my work that's consisted of praise and it's still sometimes a little overwhelming to read (I've got a big one in my asks right now that took me like 10 minutes to get thru because I had to keep taking breathers and I still need to actually share it LMAO it's not even criticism! it's just got so much in it, ahfdsaklg)

When it comes to criticism, I still get a little "aw man" sometimes. I recently got feedback from Pyrrhic & Victoria on my Reaper redraws and even though I'm pals with them and know they aren't gonna be harsh, it's still an incredibly vulnerable position to put oneself in. Especially when it's projects that you hold very close to your sense of self.

RS has definitely taken it a little too far in tying LO to herself as a person. Criticism of the comic = criticism of her , and her fanbase seems to view this the same way, that if someone doesn't like the comic, that has to automatically say something about them as consumers when... it really doesn't. If anything their reactions to criticism say way more about them as people than the criticism existing lmao

What's more upsetting and simultaneously eye-rolling is the fact that Rachel goes out of her way to look for things to be upset about. On multiple occasions now over the past 4-5 years, she's snuck into groups containing criticism, attempted to strongarm power away from moderators so she could have criticism removed, and basically just ruined her own day over other people's opinions whether or not they were meant to be read by her.

It's why I stand by the fact that people shouldn't be directly messaging RS with criticism or hate because that would just be unsolicited cruelty. While she should be more open to criticism, that doesn't mean she needs to open the floodgates on her DM's because there are plenty of places for criticism to exist outside of her peripheral. But she keeps turning her head to look at it. Like, she'll throw a hissy fit over criticism that wasn't even really directly aimed at her, just meant for the sake of discussion. And that's where I'd really honestly wish she could just get a grip.

Like, I'm sure there's criticism of Rekindled out there already. Shit, I've had other projects from yeeears ago that ended up being made fun of outside of where I posted it. It sucked, but going out and actively looking for it for the purpose of erasing it from existence wasn't going to make me a better creator nor was it going to benefit me as a person.

It's a shitty reality, but the bigger you grow as a creator, the more you will have to separate yourself from your audience. You don't have to stonewall them completely, many people follow these works for the creators themselves, but you're not entitled to everyone's friendship and praise, and if the criticism really bugs you that much, then fucking work on the thing they're criticizing, don't double down on it or try to control how your audience consumes your content.

It's why it drives me so nuts when RS does infiltrate these groups because it's an incredible invasion of privacy as well as the creator-reader relationship. Q&A's, panels, and personal socials are where you go to interact with the creator. A creator sneaking into a Discord group or subreddit or FB group with the intent of "listening in" would be equivalent to J.K. Rowling showing up in person to a book club meeting. It's just disrespectful to your audience and makes you look like a huge asshole. Have some grace and for once, I'll tell Rachel and her fanbase to take their own advice - if you don't like it, don't read it.

#lore olympus critical #lo critical #anti lore olympus #antiloreolympus #ama #ask me anything #anon ama #anon ask me anything

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minnwaa · 1 year

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milgram fuuta's thought

honestly tho deco*27 outdid themselves w/ the second round songs so far, because it's so good??? i still cant stop looping fuuta's song until now and it's been HOURS since then. i haven't been listening to anything else please save me

but if there's one thing that i know after listening it THEN re-listening it AND THEN re-listening it, then after analyzing both salamander and the voice drama, i definitely gonna be voting forgiven for fuuta. okay here's why. (even though i know that half of the fandom gonna be voting forgiven for him anyway lmao)

salamander is essentially a song about loving something that hurts you, got addicted to the taste of it even though it might harm you or cause you pain. it's also mentioned in the song that you can find ways to make it less painful, but you'll be definitely "eating" or consuming it anyway. it's literally in the song,

Ouch! That was hot getting burned from living too fast It’s a bit annoying because I can’t handle too much hot food I want it on repeat, I want a spicy treat Can I get seconds? One more time!! I want to burn bright red

do you know why the song used salamander? it's because salamander cannot actually stand the heat, it's basically a myth because they liked to sleep in damp logs used in camping. they will actually die when burned because they need the mucus on their skin to survive, but salamanders can survive the heat when forced, not because they like the heat or because they are fireproof. so the singer, the speaker, is basically asking a salamander to die for the thing they love, which is the heat. salamanders can regenerate their body part, though, so that's probably the reason why the singer was confused why a salamander wouldn't like the heat even though it's probably going to survive when it can regenerate its cells. but it will still be painful. but they're going to survive anyway.

then like, we have backdraft. the last part of the song, the rap part, got me really interested, right? because holy shit that is a lot of words at once.

"Oh no, surrounded, lynched by the masses Moribund, that's all from me, reporting from the ground Bust out, explode that counter uppercut Tolerate, impress those spectators Alight, enmeshed, their eyes closing in Dodging seems impossible Bust out, explode that counter uppercut Swallowing me whole, can't douse this FIRE"

also @ milgram it's not, moribound, it's moribund,

moribund definition:

so taking what we know from salamander, we know that fuuta was probably building a habit to enjoy the thing that harmed him. from bring it on, we know that he's chronically online so that's probably what he can't stop enjoying. he knew that it was wrong and harmed him too, but at this point, he's addicted and can't stop. he's at the front line and center, even when he's half dead (not sure if it's like him being real almost dying or metaphorical social death) he can't stop because he had to "impress" the spectators. he was "lynched by the masses" probably means that he was peer-pressured to be the leader, to be the hero (callback to bring it on) but then thrown away and judged when all gone to shit.

which led me to my third point, onigiriico made a translation of the voice drama which you totally should read by yourself because i am in pain and i am biased for him fucking sue me

anyway

he had a good point, which is why was he the one being punished when it's not just him who bullied this person. he only said what's wrong is wrong and what's a sin is a sin, then probably triggered a wave of bullying. fuuta might be a person who has a big following, so he might feel like he's a hero because people do listen to him, people followed him, so it's the eyes that followed him. but one thing is for sure, he felt guilty for what he did, and he didn't know what he did would impact the other person this badly. what he needed wasn't getting beaten up, he's just so fucking chronically online dude. he needs THERAPY.

(at this point who in milgram doesn't need it. probably yuno)

so yes, i will vote forgiven. because it's not about the matter of him being innocent or not. let me be clear, i don't think he's innocent in anyway. bullying is a serious matter and what he did was wrong. but he's sorry and he felt guilty for what he did. (even when he said that he's not in the wrong but he obviously is, lmao kid) he probably wanted to stop but wasn't allowed to by his peer and his addiction, but now he knows how fatal his action is.

so in my eyes, he's forgiven.

#milgram #milgram thought #milgram theory #fuuta kajiyama #i love him hes my lil meow meow #cant wait to see what kotoko's side song and her song is #bc i genuinely cant imagine how theyre going to do hers #just let fuuta have a break you guys he's literally traumatized beyond hell and back

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braintapes · 1 year

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The Hotel Podcast Season 3 Analysis: Part II - The Lobby Boy

(Time to blow out another candle.)

Welcome back! Part I was allll about the Manager's arc, covering episodes 3.1 - 3.4. We saw the Manager as she was repeatedly killed by a pale, gibbering creature, we watched the darkness consume her and the lobby, and we also witnessed the Hotel being built, in a way.

The Manager's been killed again by the gibbering creature. Now we see from the Lobby Boy's perspective. Well, we will see.

As I said in my previous post, S3 is simultaneously the old crew's origin, end, and a place/time/series of events they intermittently return to. This means that we're seeing the staff in a very specific, raw state of being. A different a lens to understand them through.

(Time to make a wish.)

This season functions as a collection of character studies showing us how the old crew responds to inevitability. The certainty of death. There is no release for these three, as there may be for the guests. There is only dying to wake up to die again.

The Manager's arc emphasized the certainty. The Lobby Boy's arc will showcase the cycle.

As always though, this is only my own personal read on the text/audio. Analyzing the art and stories I like in this way is a creative fun outlet for me, and my hope is that this can prompt more discussion for other people too. I love getting to see other people's perspectives and bring up stuff I hadn't considered!

Enough preamble though, let's get right to it. (Do get comfy though, because this is nearly 7 full word pages long)

(It's almost my birthday.)

To properly set the stage for the Lobby Boy's arc, I need to talk some more about the Manager first. Who is the Manager? What drives her?

I'm going to go by Season 2 here. I believe S2 is another, though different, look at these characters. There, we see them as raw as raw can get. They're a mixture of ingredients sitting in the pan waiting to be put into the oven. Whereas in S3 they are freshly baked and piping hot. And also still being baked. And speaking of food metaphors…

The idea of hunger and satiation continually shows up in the Manager's stories. Burger Baby is, uh, fairly obvious and speaks for itself, I think. Mrs Bones is interesting because again we see her thirst as this primal need inside the Manager, a desperate instinctual urge that drives her forward. This also happens in 5.1 Merp and Burble, where she. Well. She merps and she burbles.

In these altered states of consciousness, she has an animal-like nature. She is concerned only with satiating herself. But even when she gets what she's looking for, it's never enough. She can never truly be content.

This shows up in 3.2, when the laborers' deaths satiate the Manager. They even build her/the lobby as they perish one by one. But of course, of course, the fullness doesn't last. This is one of my absolute favorite aspects of the Manager's character. It makes her so distinct from the other two.

The Manager's response to the inevitability presented to her is to allow it in. She neither fights it, kicking and screaming, as the Owner would, nor does she run from it, as the Lobby Boy will. She accepts her circumstances and adapts to them. She takes to everything the easiest of the three.

So, she dies. So...she dies. So what? She's dead now, and will remain so for the rest of the season. What's done is done, until the Hotel wills it otherwise. They serve at the pleasure of the Hotel Herself, after all.

(Do you remember how to die? I'll remind you.)

The most distinct difference between the Lobby Boy and the Manager is that the latter seems to relish in her job. Not in the way the Owner does, as a title to preen and puff up over. She gets nothing out of lording her position over the other two. She does what she does because it's in her nature to do so, and it's a form of sustenance. Her job is her life is her nature. Literally hashtag ultimate girlboss, y'know?

The Lobby Boy, on the other hand, does NOT relish his duty. He is deeply intimate with death and dying and the horrors that lurk inside the Hotel in a way that the other two simply are not. He constructs nearly every awful thing in the Hotel and personally delivers the guests to those things.

As the gibbering creature continues to beat (and then starts to consume) the very dead Manager in 3.4, the Lobby Boy notes the "pulsing and bruised" walls of the Hotel. Something is deeply wrong here and he can feel it. The way he's seeing everything is not how he normally would. He says:

"It's not supposed to look like that, I think. Not to me. Maybe to the guests, but to me it only looks like...I knew underneath and behind and through everything was something awful and vast watching, but I could still look at the facade and know my place here."

The Lobby Boy has, off the top of my head, seen the Hotel in this way two other times. Well, one of this times was in a bonus episode and so doesn't really count, but it's one of my favorite bonus episodes so I'm going to talk about it a bit anyway. Feel free to skip that part.

First, in 4.12 X - X, during the big fight between the Owner and the Lobby Boy, the two go sailing and flying through the Hotel. They crash through lobbies and halls and rooms. The Lobby Boy SEES everything in the Hotel. He sees everything he has built and everything he hasn't yet. He sees the guests dying. He sees himself, burning. And he hates it. He decides to look away, to try to not remember.

In fact, the Lobby Boy's active avoidance of witnessing his own work is THE big reason the Owner hates the Lobby Boy and picks that fight with him in the first place.

In the bonus episode The Hotel, the Lobby Boy has a dream in which he is entirely alone. He examines the lobby before using his cool powers to rise up through the Hotel in such a way that he can see it all. He keeps going, pushing aside and shaping and conducting the Hotel's form until it reaches a crescendo of swirling color and shape and fervor...Then, of course, he remembers that he's not alone, not really. He's never alone in the Hotel.

Like I said, that lies in murky non-canon-ish waters so feel free to ignore it. I personally consider it an interesting supplemental to the other two examples. The point is, the Lobby Boy isn't an idiot. He's very well aware of what the Hotel is. What he is and what he does.

3.4 ends with this:

"In the Hotel there is only death. Only ever death. But still I run to the second floor, where the deaths don't matter so much. The floor with the guest rooms."

He sees the darkness consuming the lobby, the Manager, everything in the Hotel lobby. He knows what's happening. Still, he decides to run. He chooses to look away. To not think about it, if he can.

He runs to what he knows best: the guest rooms. The familiar forms the Hotel is supposed to take. The facade he can try to lose himself in, knowing all the while that it's a lie and he will face the horrible truth that envelopes and underpins it.

(Here comes another one, don't miss it or we'll have to start over.)

Now, it's time for 3.5 The Lobby Boy Dies.

“I step off the elevator and hold the door for the guest, but the elevator is empty.”

The Lobby Boy is alone as he walks down the endless hallways. The lights wink at him as he passes by. We'll see the Hotel Herself flicker her lights at the Lobby Boy other times, like in 4.10 Audrey Burns. It's one of her cheeky and fun ways of communicating with him! The Hotel is absolutely playing with him like a toy in this arc. I mean, that's true of every arc but this one especially feels so delightfully cheeky.

He refuses to look back behind him. He's seen the guests look back and it's never saved any of them. Then he spots a different kind of light – a candle by an empty guest room.

“I...the candle wants me to stare into the flame. It wants me to go inside the room. The door matches the key ring in my hand... Why-”

But the Lobby Boy knows what's happening here. He drops his keys and continues walking. He avoids looking at anything but straight ahead of him, down the hall. With each room, door, candle he avoids, another one shows up until every room is an empty guest room with a candle. For him.

He wants to refuse. He doesn't want to go in. Tells himself he won't, he CAN'T. But the Hotel pulsates in the background and he starts to imagine what it would be like if the walls caught fire...the fire spreading...Chasing him...He runs!

But why? Why avoid the flames and the burning and the smoke when he knows he can't, won't escape them? When he knows he'll end up dying anyway?

There's a few ways to look at this. One is that it's part of his nature – he doesn't want to face death, not necessarily in a human way but because it - like basically everything else - makes him squeamish and uncomfortable. If he runs, he doesn't have to face it. If he runs, he can pretend:

"The doors seem to turn towards me as I pass now. Stretching, almost reaching out. Presenting to me, showing me the sweetest lie: Safety. Safety from what is behind me. Safety from the end ahead."

“The flames behind, the fire ahead, I will pretend not to know what is beyond the door and know relief for a sickening, hopeful, instant.”

[Bolding mine]

The Lobby Boy is aligning himself with the guests here. He is a guest in this episode: he has a room he will go and die inside of. He knows the guests aren't saved by their pretending, but he does it anyway because the tiny glimmer of light inside the Lobby Boy is hope. Is wanting. In this case, it's wanting the comforting lie that he'll be okay, somehow.

Another part is that this is technically new to him, new and frightening. His nature is fearfulness, so of course he runs. He's still a fresh-out-of-the-oven Lobby Boy at this point! All of this that's happening doesn't gel with whatever knowledge was baked into him from the Hotel. He hasn't had a chance to acclimate yet!

He enters his room and sees, just before the door closes, himself stepping off the elevator in the hall. He stands in the dark for a long time until the candle appears again.

“I stare into the flame and I can hear the Hotel around me.”

He's transfixed until the candle falls over and the whole room goes up in flames, burning him to death. He doesn't accept it, he screams and tries to run and tries to open the door he knows will not open again. He dies just like one of the guests.

(You were there too.)

Since the previous Lobby Boy is dead, the Lobby Boy who we just saw step out of the elevator is our narrator for 3.6 The Lobby Boy Tries Not To Die.

“I step off the elevator and hold the door for the guest, but...there is no guest. I'm alone.”

Last episode, we saw the part of the Lobby Boy that identifies with the guests, the part of him that's just as trapped as they are. But there's plenty more layers and sides to the LB we've yet to peel.

The Lobby Boy lies to himself and attempts to convince himself that the guest he saw at the end of the hall definitely did not have his face. It for sure wasn't him. Totally. He slips back into his role, what he knows he should be doing. But everything's wrong, still. He continues down the hall and passes rooms full of smoke and burning and screaming.

Occasionally, his voice reverberates. Notably, it happens when the ceiling is full of soot. He says:

“I don't want to fall up into that void. I don't know if I'll hit the ceiling, or just fall forever. (forever, forever.)”

[Formatting taken directly from transcript]

In my last post, I talked about how the darkness – the Hotel – is inextricable from the Manager/the staff. The idea returns here with...Well, with the smoke and soot, obviously, but ALSO with these vocal effects. It's one of the Lobby Boy's things, sometimes if he's particularly worked up he'll get effects like this in his narration.

As it's applied here, it feels like something directly tying him to the Hotel. A part of him that is like it. These reverberations come back at the end of the season both with the Hotel Herself's narration and the staff's response to her. They are not separate entities, but a strange splintering and amalgamation of each other.

The Hotel's pulsing starts up in the background. The Lobby Boy continues walking but his steps become wet and squishy as the floors become coated in, um. Melted Lobby Boy soup leaking out from the room doors. It pools and congeals into a gory sticky mess that clings to him, hinders his running. The desk bell dings and something is chasing the Lobby Boy and screaming at him and his immediate instinct is to run away.

The slurry of himself enmeshed in the floor shows that the part of the Hotel that is the Lobby Boy is this second floor. The same way the Manager is the lobby and we saw her being built, the Lobby Boy is every endless hall, room, door, ceiling, floors. He is both the facade and the horrible truth at the end of it.

What he runs from is himself, literally, in this episode, but also from...himself. You know what I mean?

“I run faster. I want the soot black ceiling to take me. I want to sink into the cold bleeding carpet. I want grey walls and nothing else.”

(mood man I hate being yelled at too.)

They're both screaming now, his pursuer and himself. Just...screaming. I LOVE the distorted layered yells here. Something visceral and miserable about the sounds perfectly encapsulate the Lobby Boy, I feel.

He runs and every door turns into an elevator. He ends up, of course, back at that door. That room, with the smoke and the fire and the other burning Lobby Boy already inside of it. He looks back and sees himself clearly this time. He's terrified. He'd rather burn to death than be caught by himself. He closes the door “a little faster” before the other him can get inside.

And so the Lobby Boy Fails To Not Die.

(Did you see him? Was it too fast for you?)

We are roughly two Lobby Boys down as we head into 3.7 The Rooms Are Filled.

“I step off the elevator and hold the door for the guest. The guest steps out and into the hallway.”

So now there's two of them in the elevator. One must be the guest, if one of them is the Lobby Boy. But then...? They walk together and the other lets our viewpoint LB into the room.

Once again, this opening sequence involves the Lobby Boy following his standard routine. Bring the guest to the room. Ask if they need anything. Our narrator gives a quick rundown of the room but then the fire starts consuming everything again. Instead of running away from each other, the two Boys struggle pathetically over each other to get out. One of them escapes, the other remains trapped in the room.

He heads back to the elevator and goes to another floor.

“There are so many buttons twinkling dully at me. I like to stare at them on the way.”

Bringing up this quote just to say I'm putting a pin in it for later in this post. Bear with me, there WILL be a payoff to this. I just wanted to make special note of this line in particular.

The elevator doors open and the cycle continues, repeats. One Lobby Boy brings the other Lobby Boy to his room and he dies there as the Lobby Boy goes back to the elevator to do it again. Again. Again. Every time the Lobby Boy dies, a light in the elevator goes out. Slowly, they burn to darkness every hall in the Hotel.

He's not running the same way he was during the last few episodes. He's settling in. Getting acclimated. The way he gets through this is by not thinking about it. If he doesn't think, he can hold out the sliver of hope within him that he won't be the one to die. But he'll still die.

He sounds so utterly exhausted as he relives both the walk from the elevator to the room and the burning to death inside the room. So strained, bordering on anger almost.

“Why do I look so afraid, if I'm not the one who has to burn? But I am the one who has to burn. And the one who has to close the door. I'm the only one here.”

Okay to be honest you could just ignore every single thing I've written here and just look at these lines because this is the crux of it all.

The sound gets...weirder from here. The elevator door dings wrongly. The Lobby Boy doesn't hold the door open for the guest. We hear the Owner's scream for the first time in a while, though this comes immediately after the line saying, “The rooms are filled with my screams.”

Hmmmm...

But I can't talk about that yet. I need to talk about this:

“The halls are filled with smoke and mess. I don't know why The Manager only had to die once and I have to die so much. So much. Too much.”

[Bolding mine]

Does this line sound familiar? He sounds envious here, almost...resentful, in a way that reminds me very specifically of 2.2 Cracker Man:

“Why do they get to be in the house? Why do they get to be young and happy and beautiful? Why does it hurt to watch them live? I don’t know why but it does. Every smile stings.”

The Manager's S2 episodes showed us her primal instinct as one of her core traits. The Lobby Boy's S2 episodes show us his envy and rage. He's portrayed as a stalking figure in both Cracker Man and Frozen Figures, something that watches from the outside before going in for the kill. Yeah, technically the Owner and Manager do this too, but it feels personal for the Lobby Boy.

Why do THEY (the guests) get to live? Why do THEY get to pretend, to have the luxury of not knowing what's going to happen to them? Why did the Manager only have to die ONCE instead of being stuck in this endless cycle? (She didn't, she died at least like 4 times, but I suppose he doesn't know that). Why is he stuck here and they're not? WHY CAN'T HE D--

“There are so many buttons twinkling dully at me. I like to stare at them on the way.”

That envy and his feelings towards the guests are also why I think the Lobby Boy likes staring at twinkling lights. I mean, there doesn't have to be anything deeper to it. I do think it is just...a thing he likes and that's that. But if there WERE deeper meaning to it, I would say part of him wants what the guests have. He wouldn't know what, exactly, he wants. But he knows they're different. They have something else. Maybe something nicer. Maybe. He admires the shimmering light until it turns into a desperate flame that eventually burns to soot and ash.

His envy collapses and gives way to the rage tucked deep inside him in Cracker Man. Here in 3.7, he taps into that and chases down the other Lobby Boy. Once again, he becomes the pursuing monster. He is the rooms he built. He is the guests he brought to them. He is the horror that will kill them inside the rooms. The screaming effects layer beautifully again.

“Every room is getting filled. Endlessly. We put ourselves here because we did. Never a thought to why or where. He runs so I'm running. He burns so I'm burning. If I could catch him, if I could touch him, could we burn together?”

I have nothing to add to this, I just want to sit and appreciate these lines for a minute.

The chase continues. This Lobby Boy can see into the elevators lining the hallways. Behind the both of them, “the void spills out” and chases them. No matter what direction they go, he'll always end up back in that darkness. Whether he's inside the burning room or out in the hall. He still, still, holds onto that tiny sliver of false hope that maybe, just maybe, he can catch him this time.

But the Lobby Boy sees him and closes the door a little faster. And the Lobby Boy is brought to a void by a trillion lights.

(The guests were never meant to come this far.)

There's...a lot more I'd love to say. I could go on and on in endless circles about this arc. It would be fitting, but this is already so long and I still have the Owner and the Hotel Herself to talk about!

So for now, let's see what happens to the Lobby Boy in the cleverly titled 3.8 A V O I D.

The Lobby Boy doesn't actually...do much here, since this episode is meant to start us on the Owner's arc. LB sits in the void, afraid. As familiar gibbering/Powers That Be noises follow after him, he panics.

“The worst it can do is kill me. Again. And Again. Forever. WHY CAN'T I DIE?”

[Formatting taken direct from transcript]

One last time, there's the crux of the Lobby Boy's despair. Why is he trapped like this when he's so, SO afraid? Why? Why why? The hopeless wailing and thrashing shared by the guests in their last moments.

We proceed listen to the Lobby Boy having the worst time he's probably ever had when he whimpers and begs “No no no no please no.”

His question is answered by as he's brutally killed by the gibbering creature the Hotel.

(He seems to be dead now though.)

And then the Owner chimes in with the fucking funniest possible line, “Thank you. Dispatching that creature has been long overdue.”

Thanks king. So glad to see you on your hater streak <3

Anyway, that wraps things up for the Lobby Boy's arc. I've never seen a more literal version of the “Man Vs. Self” style of conflict as this, as he grapples and struggles and fights with himself across time.

We get to see the fearful core of his being on full display along with the reasons why he'd be so afraid compared to the other two. Neither the Manager or the Owner are as down in the dirt with the guests, so to speak, as the Lobby Boy is. He embodies the most important aspect of it, the rooms and the killing.

It seems the only way he can get himself to function in that endless cycle is by avoidance, turning himself away from it all. The Owner just doesn't get it. Even though they have so much in common...

Well, that'll be for next time to delve into. See you then friends. Thanks again for reading! :-)

#the hotel podcast #the lobby boys episodes are longer generally #and theres a lot of ground to cover here #i hope this is an enjoyable read nonetheless!#hotelpod analysis

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rosewould · 2 years

Text

malice; jsc

words; 6.7k

genre; smut, fluff, a hint of angst and humor

warnings; mouth on titty (what do you call this), cunnilingus, penetration, unprotected sex (maybe one day I'll learn), public sex, s-happy ending

preface; Sorry this took me *reads paper* FOURTY WEEKS TO FINISH??? I kinda get discouraged and feel like I won't be able to end it well, so I put it off. However I'm pretty happy with how this turned out. Lemme know your thoughts!

Minjeong's name wasn't on the note, Yeri would never let her participate anyway. So why was she so eager to help? Maybe she heard about it through the grapevine and wanted to try herself. The thought made you uneasy.

"You deserve to be surrounded by people who love and cherish you..."

Does she actually care about you as a person or does she just want to clear her guilty conscience? She is still dating Hyunsuk, after all. Minjeong's proposal causes Sungchan to give you a worried look, but you flash him an assured smile. The last thing you needed was for him to worry about you.

She doesn't try anything throughout your first research session. She was surprisingly easy to work with. The two of you decided to take turns researching and recording the information.

"Google scholar says a lot of people cited this book, but it looks pretty daunting."

"Let me see," Minjeong turns the Chromebook toward her and skims through the pdf. "Ah! This is about the Beauvais Cathedral? I took a tour of the building during a trip to France, I think it's a great example of medieval stained glass. How about I read this book when I get home and take some notes? I think it could be worth our time."

You shrug, a bit intimidated by how thorough she was. "I don't see why not."

Take some notes she said. She damn near wrote another book. She flipped through pages and pages of notes. They weren't messy by any means, organized in a way that made the information easy to consume.

"Woah... I gotta say, you're doing all the work." You say, dazed as you analyze her neat handwriting.

"That's not true, you've been pretty good at finding reliable sources that fit the criteria." Minjeong assures, tilting her head to the side.

"Don't try to make me feel better." You close her notebook, letting her know that it looked great. Maybe this was her way of trying to break through. Your smile falters at her possible ulterior motive.

"Well, in that case, I would appreciate more help. Your notes are pretty good, but I find it difficult to find important details. Maybe you could organize them like mine or condense the information just to what you know we'll use." Minjeong is firm but not cold with her recommendations. All you can do is nod like an idiot. Though it takes you a couple of all-nighters, you take her criticisms. She made sure to balance every criticism with praise that seemed genuine. You couldn't tell if you were just bad at reading people, but you could no longer sense an ulterior motive.

"Here, I know it's getting difficult, but we're doing pretty well for ourselves." She hands you a cup of iced coffee. "The weather's heating up a bit and I know you like mocha lattes." Minjeong says the last bit with less conviction, knowing your past relationship is a sore topic.

"Thanks." You take the drink reluctantly. She didn't seem eager to do the favor and her apprehension didn't seem forced. Perhaps it was too soon, but something was screaming at you that this was okay for now. You told yourself that the first red flag you noticed, you'd build your walls back up just as quickly as you tore them down.

Plus, the coffee was much needed. You didn't have enough disposable income to get coffee every morning, and you also had your sculpture to worry about. The multi-faced design was challenging, but you decided to just go through with it.

"That's a pretty unique idea."

You expect the observation to come from Professor Kwon, but a masculine voice has you whipping your head in the direction of its owner.

"I thought you were Professor Kwon breathing down my neck again. What are you doing here? Not many students use the studio at this hour."

Sungchan presses his lips into a thin line as he walks toward you. "I actually work on my project every day around this time. I just do it in one of the empty rooms. More privacy and whatnot." He takes a closer look at your work and you're seriously getting deja vu.

"Haven't you noticed we go home at the same time most days?"

"I guess that is true." You chew on your thumbnail as his eyes scan your hard work with an emotion you can't read. "If you're gonna say you hate it, just say it already."

"No- it's just... I can't really grasp what you're trying to say." He takes a step back, taking in more of the sculpture.

"Something about welcoming different emotions, even the uncomfortable ones. I dunno, it's stupid-"

"I think it's creative. Everyone else I know is doing something easy and recognizable. Trying to get a good grade and go, which is understandable. But you're using your art as your outlet. Just like a true artist." He props his head up with his fist, eyes moving from your art to you. His words make your cheeks heat up and it annoys you. You roll your eyes at your predictability before focusing on anything else but him.

"Thanks. I think this helped a little bit."

Minjeong and Sungchan weren't even a part of this re-friending plan Yeri and Sana made, but you couldn't help but use it to navigate your relationships with them. Even if it turns out they don't have your best interest in mind, you want to at least give them a chance. Minjeong still being with Hyunsuk made it harder. Every time you saw them walk down the hallway together it made you uncomfortable. What if you and Minjeong become friends again and you have to watch her marry him? Are you supposed to sit there and pretend you don't think he's cancer personified? What if she stays friends with Eunji and you keep butting heads? What if she keeps them around because they're all she has left?

Maybe it was because of this plan thing and you promising to be more upfront with the people in your life, but you felt compelled to ask the question.

"Have you spoken to Minjeong yet?"

Sungchan goes stiff for a moment, brows furrowing. "No, why should I? I think that chapter's just over."

"You can't just rip the last few pages out and call it finishing a chapter."

The annoyance blooming on his beautiful features almost makes you falter, but you stay firm.

"You don't understand." He says dismissively.

"I do though, more than anyone in our friend group."

He knows this very well, but he still turns away from you. When you slide back into his field of vision he inhales deeply.

"I know more than anyone that it'll take a while to restore those pages, let alone finish them, but the time will pass anyway. Why not at least try?"

He still seemed a bit dismissive of your advice, but he started working on his art in the studio with you. Just like with Minjeong, you don't feel any warning signs blaring at you. As time goes by you feel more and more natural with the two of them. Less focused on scoping out ill will.

Though you were busy, you still made time out to pretend you had just met Sana and Yeri.

"You like Hello Kitty? Me too!" Yeri fails to hold in her laugh as she tugs at the charm dangling from your purse. Snorting, you twist your body back and forth to make it wiggle.

"I've loved Hello Kitty since I was a wee lad."

Yeri jumps at the chance to speak in a British accent. "Oi! Now you're talking bruv-"

"Hey! This is a serious exercise! You're supposed to find the root of your bond!" Sana snaps her head towards the two of you before continuing to look for some book in her packed bookshelf.

"She's right. The fact that we share a love for Hello Kitty really makes me happy because I don't meet many people who see her as a comfort character." Yeri switches back to her normal talking voice and punches your shoulder to dull the sappiness.

"That makes me feel good to hear that." You smile, reapplying the sappiness to her chagrin.

"You're really asking for a shiner now bruv." She holds her fists up as the accent comes back with a vengeance.

"Found it!" Sana drops from her tippy toes with a purple book in hand. "Do you remember when you lent me this freshman year?" She hands the book to you.

"Yes! Ah, I remember reading this now." You take the book and look at it fondly.

"I was going through a hard time because my childhood dog died, and you gave this to me. You said it helped you through a hard time. Before I knew it, I was already re-reading it. I didn't want to give it back because of how good it made me feel, but I thought that maybe you needed it to get through your own hard times. When you told me to keep it, it was a moment I'd never forget. I kept it on my coffee table to remind me to keep an optimistic outlook, but honestly, I just kept thinking about how thoughtful you were. It helped even more." The tenderness in Sana's expression made you drop the book and wrap your arms around her. She returns the embrace, squeezing your body until you can't breathe. You don't mind, keeping the hug going.

A ding is what saves you from suffocating to death.

"Oh! The cookies are ready!"

The date of your presentation was approaching rapidly. Your eyes were beyond dry and your blood was half caffeine thanks to Minjeong. You open your front door and she rushes in with two drinks in her hand. You smile gratefully, struggling to keep your eyes open.

"Sorry I'm late! My manager made me stay longer since it got busy. I- god... I'm so-" Minjeong hurriedly sets the drinks on your counter, sending a frustrated hand through her much shorter hair.

"It's fine. It's understandable that you're a bit frazzled. It must be so difficult balancing a job and university."

She stays silent, opting to instead send you a thankful but apologetic look.

"Your hair looks amazing by the way. I think short hair suits you more." You find that the compliment comes naturally, and you feel warmth when she smiles.

"Thank you. Shall we get started?"

Despite the hiccup, everything went smoothly. The two of you achieved a surprising amount of progress in one day. It almost seemed as if she was pushing herself. "Are you okay? We don't need to rush this much."

"Yeah, but I want to get done as soon as possible, you know?" Minjeong laughs nervously. Her new haircut couldn't hide the fact that she wasn't getting much sleep. She knew she must've looked horrible. So much stress on top of not eating or sleeping well was doing her in. He wasn't looking at her like he used to...

"Are you really okay though?" You wanted to explain why you asked, but didn't out of fear of overstepping a boundary and deepening your relationship before you were ready.

Minjeong couldn't ignore how much she liked spending time with you. Even if it was just doing work. What she didn't like was how you could see through her lies. You had been through it before, after all. You were constantly dropping breadcrumbs that you knew Hyunsuk was sucking the life out of her.

"I'm..." She inhales, holding her breath for a moment. "Well, I think you know the answer." She exhales a laugh. "I know I'm not a good person, but you worrying about me still makes me feel good."

You wanted to deny that you were worrying about her, but it'd be especially challenging to do so without looking like a liar. So it was settled. You'd lend her a helping hand. Only because you couldn't stand seeing someone go through what you did. She says checking up on her makes her feel good, so you continue to do that. She brings you coffee and you make her food to ensure she's eating well. You walk and talk with her whenever you can, whether it's to and from class or walking home with her.

Everyone was always telling you how bad Hyunsuk was and that you just needed to break up with him already. It didn't help, it just made you feel more stupid about staying with him. It's inevitable that Minjeong will start to realize how horrible Hyunsuk is, and you know that what she needs is comfort during those painful times.

So you hold her hand as you walk her home, watching as she cried silently. You don't say anything, you just let her know that she's not alone. When you reach her house, the two of you stand there for a while. She cries to herself and continues holding your hand until she felt okay enough to go inside.

"Thank you for last night. I..." She trails off before chuckling, a hint of embarrassment flaring up inside her, "I would've never known how to ask for that."

"Don't even mention it. I know it's hard, but just know that the pain is a part of the healing process. Just like cleaning out a wound."

Minjeong brushes her hair behind her ear with a small smile. "What I said has got to be true."

You look at her questioningly as she shuts her laptop.

"If you could help me, someone who hurt you, imagine what you could do for someone who's been hurt in the same way."

"You guys did a great job on the research. We all did great." Yuto smiles genuinely. You can tell he's just happy you and Minjeong are getting along. You hate to admit that his stupid scheme worked out in the end. It feels better when you tell yourself that fixing you guys' relationship was entirely you and Minjeong's doing. He probably thought it was as simple as just talking to each other, he could keep thinking that way. You knew what went into making up with Minjeong and that's all that matters.

The two of you share a proud glance before looking back at Yuto.

"Now all that's left is to give the presentation. Sungchan, you're up!"

The glance you and Sungchan share is less confident. You ignore the awkwardness and flash him an encouraging smile.

You wave goodbye at Minjeong before slinging your tote over your shoulder. "Are you coming to the studio today?"

"Of course. I still have a lot of work to do, and watching you inspires me to get through it." He says as if the confession was embarrassing. He had no clue what it did to you.

There was no easy way to bring up Minjeong again without making it uncomfortable. You hug your book to your chest as the two of you made your way to the studio.

"What's on your mind?" He asks, raising his eyebrows at you. You chew on your lip as he pushes the doors open for you. Opting to wait a bit, you lie.

"Nothing, just thinking about finals." You situate yourself at your station and he does the same across from you. It was hard to tell if he was being silent because he didn't believe you or because he actually didn't have a response.

"I see you and Minjeong are friends again." He notes as he sets up his station. An opening appears.

"We're getting there. It just feels good to finally work something out that had been weighing on me for the longest." You sneakily peek at him but he catches the look. He sighs disappointedly but you press on. "I promise it'll feel so much better if you just confront the issue instead of running away."

"You can't force me to make up with Minjeong." The aggravation voice makes you flinch. "You know, you're starting to sound like Yuto right now."

You expected him to leave, but he just returned his attention to his art. This was bad, you couldn't end the topic with him comparing you to Yuto. Your tongue darts out to wet your dry lips.

"I wouldn't care if you never made up with her for the rest of your life." Sure of yourself, you stop to turn your body toward him. Your words make his hand pause in the air before dropping. He shoots you a wary look. "Minjeong already accepted the fact that you may never forgive her, but this isn't about Minjeong. You're allowed to feel hurt about something that happened to you. You're the one that helped me understand this." You step closer to him cautiously, praying you're not screwing everything up.

The way he looks away makes you think he knows exactly what you're talking about.

"I know I asked if you spoke to her, but you don't even need to do that. However you choose to navigate your pain, just know I'm here for you." You extend your hand to him, pleading determination in your eyes. He examines your face before regarding your hand. Your heart does backflips when he takes it into his own, mumbling about how he wouldn't promise anything.

After you graduate, you weren't sure if you'd ever see Sungchan again. If you could be of any help in the little time you had left with him in your life, you'd do just that. You made sure to put no pressure on him, focusing on making him comfortable just like you did for Minjeong. You never brought it up first, which meant you went a while without talking about it at all. It was a miracle he even told you about what happened that night, he seems so guarded because of it.

Still, you entered the studio with a smile like you did every other day, asking him how his day went.

"I talked to her." He mumbles, not turning away from his project. You freeze, stumbling over your words.

"That's great Sungchan! What did you say?" You walk up to him, excitement oozing out of your voice no matter how much you tried to contain it.

"It was about the presentation. She wished me luck and I thanked her." His eyes flit toward yours quickly, but not too quick that you didn't notice.

You purse your lips to hide the smile that threatened to show. It was a bit cute how he announced just saying one word to her. Progress was progress, nevertheless.

"I know it's not much."

"It's plenty. Sungchan," You step closer to him. He turns toward you slightly, only putting his carving knife down when your eyes meet. "I'm so happy you're trying." You can feel his jaw clenching when you lay your hand on the side of his face.

"It was weird and awkward." He wanted to ask if it would always be like this but decided it was a stupid question. All he wanted to do was go back to ignoring her and hating her guts. Though he wouldn't admit it aloud just yet, he trusted your advice. So he pushed through.

The day of the presentation finally came. Sungchan and Minjeong were still barely speaking full sentences to each other. He kept pushing, even if he wanted to shrivel up into nothing after every interaction. He wasn't even nervous about the presentation, just about the four drinks in his hands. He sits one on the desk in front of you and you smile up at him. He smiles back. In the back of his mind, he wonders if it's too soon to pat the top of your head. Next is Minjeong, who's sitting in the front alone. He exhales through pursed lips as he makes his way down.

All of the students funneling into the lecture hall hide the fact that Sungchan is approaching until he's right in front of Minjeong. Her eyes are wide as he sets the can down with a huff. "Good luck today." He mumbles before looking away.

"Thank you! This was really sweet." Minjeong's attempt at a sweet tone falters as the uncomfortable air continues to loom over the both of them. No matter how much they try to ignore it, it's like there's a big blinking sign screaming 'Minjeong did something horrible'. She clears her throat.

"This is going to probably be the last time we'll speak so, congratulations on graduating. I hope you lead a fruitful life." Minjeong struggles to keep her expression from souring at the thought of never speaking to him again.

"I doubt it. There's a lot of time before then and now. Anything could happen." Sungchan shrugs. The reassurance was minuscule, but it was enough for hope to fill her chest.

"Right. Anything could happen."

Watching them across the room was heartwarming. It was actually happening. They were talking. The fact that this might be because of you felt fulfilling. You remember the letter stating something about you being significant in other people's lives. It felt far-fetched. Like desperate lies to make you feel good. Now you can see some of the truth in it.

You couldn't wait for Sungchan to walk through the doors of the studio. It was no use hiding your excitement. The longer it took for him to come, the harder it'd be for you to stop yourself from hugging him. There was a moment where you faltered. Sungchan and Minjeong were standing together after the presentation and someone commented on how good they'd look as a couple.

If they decide to reconcile completely and date again, maybe they'd heal their heartache sooner. It's for the best. You had no right to be upset.

Sungchan walks in with his head drooping. When he lifted it slightly, thinking about greeting you but deciding against it, you notice the uneasy look on his face.

"I'm so proud of you!- Wait, what's wrong." You rush up to him, dropping your outstretched arms once you notice. "Today was such a great day, you properly talked to Minjeong and the presentation went well. Don't you feel good about it?" You grab his arms as he looks down at you.

"I do. I feel really good. I talked to her more after her last class, things are progressing really quickly." He looks like he's holding something back. Was he about to tell you that they were dating?

"When she smiled at me, it reminded me of the first time I saw her. I always loved her smile, it could instantly improve my day. In my mind, I imagined her smiling at me after we made up and me falling for her again." He explained quietly, oblivious to the knife he was jamming into your chest. You force a smile, nodding for him to continue. You blink rapidly when his hands caress your neck and face.

"I felt nothing. No, that's not true. I couldn't stop thinking about you." He pressed his forehead against your, noses bumping into each other. There it was again, that intoxicating feeling you got when he was this close. You needed to pull away so you could think. There was a chance Minjeong's feelings for him reignited. "I want to kiss you really bad, and I have for months now." His lips brush against yours and you feel your body temperature rise. "I don't know if it's too soon for me to admit that."

Your eyes flutter closed. How were you feeling? Besides the obvious arousal, you felt a tinge of guilt. The runner-up was a prominent urge to be selfish. Was it wrong? Probably, but you stopped apologizing for your emotions months ago.

"Fuck it, kiss me."

A wave of emotions washed over you as Sungchan's lips crashed into yours. The kiss was different from the first night you had each other. This one was slower and needier. Using every millisecond you were pressed together to savor each other. Hands threading through each other's hair had he walked you toward the nearest table. He swiftly lifts you to sit atop the desk and you hiss as the cool, black material presses against your hot skin. Your lips meld together like hot wax. Every time you hold off on touching him, it makes the next time you do ever more ravenous. He licks your bottom lip, requesting access. You gladly invite his tongue in and get to work massaging yours against his.

His cool hands push your shirt up, disconnecting to pull it over your head. The garment is promptly discarded before his lips are pursuing yours again. His large hands gather the flesh guarded by your bra into a firm squeeze. He swallows your impending moans, the sweet noises pulling noises from his own throat.

When he pulls away, you notice the hint of guilt on his face. That must be the reason he was mopey earlier. It doesn't deter him just like it doesn't deter you. No matter how much you both don't want to hurt Minjeong, all you could focus on was how much you needed each other. Nothing else mattered whenever his soft lips melted against yours.

All your worries slowly faded away with each article of clothing that was plucked from your bodies.

"I want to properly experience your body this time." He breathes against your lips before pressing a kiss to your jaw. His lips were sloppy, almost lazy in the way they trailed down to the valley between your breasts. Leaving wet and loose kisses anywhere skin was exposed. Your bra was the first undergarment to go as his hands slid up your waist, then around to your back. His lips never leave your skin, discarding the bra onto the floor with the rest of the clothes.

The kisses grow more eager as his lips explore your breast. Pressing them to the underside of your breast. Darting his tongue out to skim across the soft skin. Sucking and biting whenever he wanted to hear you moan and whimper. He comes across one of your nipples and happily wraps his lips around it. Through his lashes, he watches you drowsily.

Sungchan being the perfect man wasn't even an observation worth making. It was just a fact that everyone understood as soon as they saw him. Towering over everyone else while looking like he was ripped out of the pages of a manga. A living, breathing angel sticking out like a sore thumb amongst the mere mortals. It was almost annoying.

Having someone this beautiful crouched in front of you with his mouth wrapped around your nipple as he stared into your eyes makes every sensation more palpable. You lay your hands flat on the tabletop, leaning backward to enjoy the view. His hair falls into his face his head twists to stimulate the bud with his tongue. The scene was so captivating that you wanted to paint it and hang it on your wall.

The way he delivers quick flicks to one nipple with his tongue while pinching the other has you kicking your head back. Soft and short whimpers trickle from your lips as your core ignites. Every touch and noise coming from him makes you more desperate to be fucked. God, just thinking about how he drilled into you the last time you had him has you salivating.

"Mm... mouth feels so good... need more," You drawl, running your tongue over your dry lips. His fingers hook underneath your panties. You lift your hips up to aid him. His lips continue their journey down your body until he was kissing and licking at your thighs. Growing closer and closer to where you ached for him. You buck your hips up, hoping he'd get the memo. He notices, but ignores you. Nothing was quite as important to him as watching you whine and scrunch your face up when he teased you. It was too bad he missed out on this last time.

The heat as he got closer to your core drew him in. The closer he got, the more he could smell your arousal. He grabs your knees and spreads your legs. The sight of your glistening folds makes him fully drop to his knees. His lips brush against your vagina, reveling in the way your legs jerk inward, threatening to close around him. The thought of having the pillowy flesh surrounding his head didn't seem half bad.

He continued his tried and true formula, kissing and licking until you were a whining mess. "Please..." You mewl, grabbing a fistful of his hair. His nose nudges against your clit as you push him into you. The friction on the sensitive nub makes your legs snap closed. He hums, vibration sending shockwaves through your body. Your legs clamped around him and your pathetic sounds are enough incentive for him to start giving you what you need. Firm and deliberate licks that finally give you proper pleasure. You thank him quietly and grind into his tongue.

You brush his hair out his face before tightening your grip on the strands again. His eyes roll back at the slight stinging sensation it leaves him with. If you thought his mouth on your breasts was hot, this was just heavenly. Despite how lewd it was, him gazing at you while his tongue flicks your hardened clit, he still looked like an angel. "You're so, so pretty." You mumble, jaw going slack after you speak. He reacts with a salacious moan. His saliva and your arousal drip from your crotch onto the table. You can't see, but you'd imagine his chin was glistening right about now.

Sloppy sounds fill the air, making your cheeks hot. His eager groans and the sound of his wet muscle massaging your clit were deliciously obscene. A few minutes in and you're already lurching against his face, warning about your incoming climax. "S-so close baby. Don't stop." You chant in a hushed voice again and again for him not to stop. He listens, carrying you through your first climax with long firm licks over the entirety of your slit. You shiver, pulling his head off of you before he can overstimulate.

With the release of his hair, he's rising to his feet. The sight of him wiping his mouth off with his forearm halts your breathing. He grips your thighs hard, digging his fingers into them. "You're so perfect." He whispers before pecking the top of your head. He uses his grip to pull you to the very edge of the desk. With a tug over his hips, his boxers fall to the ground. He wraps his arms around your waist and you lean into him. His tip prods at your pussy and you clench your eyes shut.

His cock is hot, turning an angry red from all the blood rushing to it. He wraps his arms tighter around you which makes his head push further into your folds. With a pleading groan, you graze your nails down his back. Moving lower until they meet his ass and you give it a firm push. His dick sinks into your wet, swollen folds. Pushing into your tight entrance and slowly opening you up.

Needy noises fill the room as you desperately cling to one another. He was drowning in your juices. It was hard to hold out with how amazing it felt to slide in and out of your wet, plush walls. "Fuck, you're so wet." He pants between grunts, entranced by the way his cock disappears inside you.

"Only for you."

He looks up at you and you press your tongue against his jaw. Licking a stripe up to his cheek and it drives him wild. He hungrily devours your lips. Tongues lapping against the other and teeth nipping soft lips. The force of his hips slamming against yours makes your legs weak. Sounds of slapping skin filling your ears and making you more turned on.

Grabbing a fist full of your hair, he tugs your head back. You whimper as he takes control of the kiss. His dick drags in and out of your puckered hole. You're milking him for all he's worth and he's fucking you hard into the table. Both getting exactly what you need in that moment. He shoves his hips hard against you, forcing your legs even wider. "Just for me?" He asks, fire in his eyes.

"Only for you." You confirm, wrapping your arms around his neck. He eagerly accepts your lips again. Sucking on your bottom lip harshly. Despite how desperate you were to get each other off last time, he still wasn't this rough. It was hotter than you expected it to be. You arch your back into him, breasts smushed between the two of you. "Give it to me," You plead, moaning helplessly as he thrusts into you with punishing force.

Filthy, intense pursuits to taste each other's mouth fade to tender pecks as you both grow close. He lifts you off the table, squeezing your ass as he fucks you on his cock. "Yes baby, fuck- you feel so good," He groans. Every sound turns whinier as he fucks you deep, "I'm so fucking close." He breaths. His lips brush against the column of your neck.

"Me too," You moan out."

The speed of your hips pushing together has your vision going out. Head falling backward as swears pour from your lips. Your legs wrap around his waist tight, pressing your heels into his hips to push him deeper. The action seemingly pushes Sungchan over the edge as his moans reach a volume you've never heard before. He sinks his teeth into your shoulder, needy noises so sweet as they enter your ears. Hearing him like this has your legs going limp. He holds you tight as you convulse. Your hands clench his brown locks as you clench his dick like a vice. As he pulls out, fluids drip onto the floor of the studio.

"Oh, fuck." You say in reaction to what just transpired and the mess you'd have to clean up.

"So filthy..." He chuckles and you whip your head toward him, cheeks hot. "What? It's the truth."

"Ugh..." You bury your head in the crook of his neck and he continues to laugh. He hugs you tighter as he settles into one of the chairs. The two of you sit there for a moment, enjoying the embrace.

"Now this? This is amazing. You should be proud of yourself." Professor Kwon nods, pleased with your finished sculpture. "Did you finally get it together because of this one?" She points toward the man smirking at you on the other side of the room.

"If anything he was the one distracting me." You say narrowing your eyes at him,

"Mrs. Kwon, that's just not true. Her sculpture wouldn't have a head if it weren't for me." He sighs, shaking his head.

"Do you still want yours?" You raise your sculpting knife and he guards his neck. Professor Kwon looks between the two of you disapprovingly.

"Children, I swear. Good job, ___. I'm seriously impressed." Her pleased tone was dampened by her displeasure with your antics. The compliment was still appreciated.

"Thank you, Professor Kwon."

She loved your piece, so why were you still so nervous to show it off at the festival? If anyone's input was valuable it was her. Still, you wrung your hands together as each person walked up to your piece. "Hey," Sungchan rests his hand on your shoulder. You knew he could tell how stressed you were.

"Don't worry about me, I'm fine." Was a bald-faced lie, but you said it anyway, ignoring the enormous lump in your throat.

"I don't mind worrying about you, though."

You glance up at his light-hearted smile. He looked dashing in his white button-up. He could make anything look like a designer suit. His brown locks hung forward as he looked down at you. You couldn't help but look away.

"Okay," You give in, giggling as he squeezed your side.

He continued to comfort you every day of the festival, pointing out every amazed reaction to your art. Each day you longed for him more, heart clenching at the mere thought of his attentiveness.

The last day arrived, and Yeri approached you with her arms full.

"Woah... do I really need this many?" You pick up one of the many lanyards. They're teal with your school name printed all over the fabric. Clipped to the end was a card with the same heart design from the wax seal.

"I-I know, I wasn't sure how many to make so I just said fuck it." She stammers, worry tugging at her features. "Anyway, you know what to do, right? Just put the lanyard on who you chose for the new friend group." Her eyes dance around the decorations and booths of the festival. You collect all the lanyards from her.

"Why are you so nervous?" You take one and stuff the rest in the pit of your elbow. She blinks rapidly and leans her head down as you raise it toward her. All of her worries melt away as the fabric settles around her neck.

"I don't know... I just thought maybe I wasn't taking it seriously enough-"

"Leave the sappy stuff to Sana. You making me laugh is more than enough." You pat her shoulder. She makes a frustrated noise.

"I know you just said to leave it to Sana but I'm gonna hug you now." She engulfs you in a soft hug, resting her chin on your shoulder. "Thank you." She says next to your ear.

Next you found Sana, immediately lowering the lanyard over her head as well. You hand her another one. "Give this to Moonbin if you see him." You smile as she pulls you into a famous Sana hug. One where your bones can be heard cracking from a mile away. To your surprise, you ended up handing out eight. But you still weren't done. You stuff the rest of the lanyards in your bag with two clenched in your fist.

You wander through the festival, watching as the sun sets. When you see Minjeong sitting alone in front of one of the food stalls you approach her. She looked sad, forcing a smile when she noticed you approaching. Her eyes land on the lanyards in your hand.

"It's this thing me and the girls are doing."

"Yeah, I know. Sana told me a while back." She nods with a hefty exhale.

"Really? Why didn't you say anything?"

"I appreciate her worrying about me, but I don't really think I have the right to fight for you to forgive me. Besides, I already put you through enough, making you help me with Hyunsuk..." She picks at her food, her smile fading. The feeling of fabric dropping on her shoulder makes her jump. When she looks up she's met with your warm smile.

"Working with you on the group project made me realize that we can both benefit from being in each other's lives."

Minjeong chuckles, wiping away a tear that slips from her eyes.

"And you have to worry about annoying me or anything. I'm ready to stick with you for as long as you need to get over Hyunsuk."

"Oh, you don't have to worry about that anymore." She laughs bitterly. You give her a puzzled look and she continues. "He was giving a tour to upcoming freshmen and met Sullyoon. According to Yuto, he referred to her as a fairy come to life. Even after he broke up with me, they still stuck by his side." Minjeong rested her face in her hands. "I don't know why I'm venting about this to you. I bet you're thinking I got a taste of my own medicine."

"Not at all. I'm just excited to introduce you to the new friend group." You grab the card strapped to the lanyard. "Here's to starting over." You flash her a smile that she reciprocates.

There was just one more person left. He was exactly where you knew he'd be, inside the building where the sculptures are on display. Excitement graces his perfect features when he sees you. "I was waiting for you." He waits until you're close enough to drape his arms over your shoulder.

"Really? Why?" You quirk your head to the side.

"To do this..." He lowers his face closer to yours, lips brushing over yours before they meld together. When he pulls away, you take the opportunity to squeeze your arms between the two of you and swing the lanyard over his head. Bewildered, he steps away and looks at the card hanging from his neck. "What's this?" He chuckles as he examines the heart.

You watch him, no sign of troubles weighing him down. Carefree as he smiles at you. It felt good knowing that you had a hand in it, even if it was the tiniest impact. You knew there'd be more hardships to come, but they didn't seem so daunting anymore. Not while you had each other. It motivated you to protect your own well-being so you could efficiently protect the poeple you care about.

"A promise."

thank you so much for reading! requests for follow up blurbs for this story are open~

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