#and to be this fucking punching bag by a bunch of GROWN ADULTS made me hate everything so much
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i dont hate the order i just hate the order
#look in my canon gabriel was a REALLY nice dude#and the only one i think who wasn't... fully aware of the command block though. i never really brought it up#magnus and ellegaard were nice to me#and ivor... was nice with time#but i hate how no one had any morals about what happened other than ivor#and then his resort is terrorism#and i hate that I had to get roped up in their petty ass drama#i was like#16 in my canon#and to be this fucking punching bag by a bunch of GROWN ADULTS made me hate everything so much#all i wanted was to go back to living in my treehouse and worrying about what we're gonna build for the competiton#guhhh#personal
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No excuses
》 Bakugo x reader
》 Word count: 5k
》 Overview: You were childhood enemies who always ended up stuck together, you were neighbours, got put in all the same classes, ended up living together in the UA dorms. Overtime you grew to accept each others company, maybe even enjoy it. So what happens when your new work lives separate you for the first time?
Every day was lacklustre.
You weren't sure what; but something was missing. Ever since you went pro and moved into your own apartment you felt as though your life lacked something. There was an empty hole but you just weren't sure what used to be there.
Perhaps you just missed those simple UA days? Being surrounded with your friends day and night and not having to worry about all the things pro heroes had to worry about? There was no doubt it was a much less stressful time.
Or maybe it was the fact you no longer had your family breathing down your neck every second of the day? You were an adult now and that came with a whole new sense of freedom. Maybe what you were missing was being surrounded by your loved ones all the time? You lived alone in your new apartment and it was a big difference in contrast to the UA dorms you lived in for three years.
You thought you'd enjoy the quiet but it turns out you found the silence painful. It was more peircing to your ears than any yelling or screaming you had in the dorms.
No matter how much you wondered what was missing you just couldn't seem to place your finger on it. It's not like you weren't keeping in touch with your friends and family. They called everyday, you certainly weren't lonely. So why was your heart still yearned for something... maybe even for someone?
With a sigh, you dried the last plate of the bunch and put it away. Finally done with your chores for the day. You dried your hands and went over to check your phone that had been thrown onto the couch. You saw a text notification pop up.
Blastard: (1 new message)
Oi! Idiot! Are you dead yet? I haven't heard from you in weeks!
You couldn't help but chuckle at his unique way of showing worry, though it would be a lie to say you weren't used to it by now. It was such a typical Bakugo move. You shook your head before typing out a reply.
Bad news for you, I live!
You hit send before throwing your phone back down. You felt awfully giddy about him texting you, which was a strange feeling, usually you annoyed the hell out of each other. As weird as it was; it had been awhile since you'd last spoken to him.
Maybe you were just happy he hadn't completely forgotten you exsisted, you figured once you went your seperate ways that you'd probably never talk again; unless it was work related.
You had grown up together, always forced to be around each other no matter how much you despised it. You were neighbours, you didn't go to the same schools, but you'd always hear him yelling through the walls whenever he was home, you'd always pass each other when leaving your houses on the morning, and to your 10 year old self? There was no worse way to start off your day than his stupid face being the first thing you see when leaving your home.
It was like you couldn't get through a day without running into him at least once.
Then you both ended up in the same highschool, UA, which meant you walked the same route everyday as well as being in all the same classes. Then you lived in dorms together for three years, which meant you were around your childhood enemy almost every minute of everyday.
It was like the universe was trying to torture you both.
You hated each other as kids, always getting into scrapes and arguments, but as you got older the hate died down into more of a friendly rivalry. You bickered non stop but you also grew to enjoy all those comebacks and quick retorts, it was like a never ending game of 'who can make the best comeback/insult'. It even made you laugh at times.
Eventually, somewhere during your UA days, you both got to a point where you could actually admit you were friends.
But after being stuck together for so long? You'd think you would be happy to have some peace and quiet around here. You no longer had to deal with explosions going off or yelling every 5 seconds. No yelling from downstairs or next door, no insults or smartmouthed comments.
Though, even you had to admit he had matured a lot since you were kids, he still kept true to his grouchy self, but he was no where near as violent or bad tempered. He'd calmed down a lot as you grew into adults and you were proud of him for coming so far.
You were about to go take a bath to relax after cleaning all day, but when you saw your phone light up again you couldn't stop yourself from diving for it.
Blastard: (1 new message)
The fuck do you mean? That's not bad news for me dumbass.
It was a little weird for him not to give a snarky reply but it's possible hero work was tiring him out as much as it had been tiring you out. You were about to tell him it was just a joke but then another message came through,
Blastard: (1 new message)
Have you been eating alright? I know you can't cook for shit and you're living alone now.
Your eyes softened at the message, a goofy smile spreading across your lips. Not only had he made an effort to message you first, something he rarely did, but he also was showing care for you? Your cheeks heated up and you took a second to press your face into a pillow, a way to collect yourself before you replied.
Aw, you care about me?~
I've been eating fine! Instant ramen exists for a reason! It's for people like me who "can't cook for shit" :P
His next reply was almost instant, it scared you how quick your phone was to sound with another notification.
Blastard: (1 new message)
Don't fucking tell me you've been living off of instant ramen this whole time-
You felt too shy to admit to the truth. It was true you hadn't been eating great since you had been living alone. Your job was so demanding you didn't have time to cook. Choosing fast options over home cooked meals had been your way of living for the past few weeks and admitting to it felt like a punch to your pride.
Blastard: (1 new message)
That's it, I'm coming over to make you an actual meal tonight. See you at 6.
You did a double take at the response. There was clearly no room to argue.
"He's coming over!?" You jumped up in a panic at your sudden self invited guest. Lucky for him you had a rare night off work, and lucky for you, you had spent the day cleaning up. Maybe it'll look like you have this whole "adulting" thing down.
After glancing at the time and seeing it was only 4pm you threw your phone down. You needed to freshen up before he came over.
For some reason you felt this pressure to look good in front of him? But you had known him since you were little kids! He wouldn't care, he's seen you look much worse, so why did you care about looking good this time around? You shook your head, sick of all this over thinking and went to take a quick bath. Once you were done you dried your hair and threw on a fresh pair of clothes.
You felt excited to see him again and almost-... Nervous? It was a strange sensation, you shouldn't be feeling nervous to see him, you used to see him everyday. Maybe it was because this would be the first time you'd be spending time alone in your new home? Yeah, that must be it!
Glancing up at the time you still had half an hour until he arrived. You decided to take your mind off of all your swirling thoughts by mindlessly scrolling through your phone until your door bell finally rang.
You pushed yourself up with a small groan. You walked to your front door, your heart raced in your chest knowing who was on the otherside of the door. You took a deep breath through your nose before opening the door to see your familiar, scowling, friend. He stood there, a bag in his right hand and foot tapping on the floor as if he had been waiting ages for you to open the door for him.
"Kat! Long time no see!" You beamed up at him only for him to roll his eyes and brush past you. "Shut up and show me where your kitchen is, you need a proper meal."
You couldn't help but smile as you noticed the bag he carried was filled with fresh groceries. He was alway so bad with words but it was actions like this that made you see how much he really cared about you.
"Through there." You nodded your head toward an opening and followed him through after shutting the door. He put all the ingredients down and you leaned back against the counter watching him prepare the food. "What? No 'Hi Y/n, how have you been?' You cut right to the chase as always." You chuckled softly to yourself earning a glare from the blond as you attempted to imitate his voice.
"First of all! I don't sound like that! Second of all, I'm only here because you can't take care of yourself." He scoffed before adding. "Still annoying as always."
'Why was I missing him again?' You huffed, blowing some hair from your face in the process. "So! Chef! What are we having?"
"Curry." Was his quick reply as he began to lay out and cut up the ingredients. You hummed in delight at the thought of homemade curry. It had been a while since you had a good home cooked meal. Your family sometimes brought you leftover foods knowing how busy you were with work, but they couldn't come feed you everyday. You were an adult now and you needed to learn to cope on your own! Even with a busy career life.
"You remember what I like?" You asked, your eyes glimmering with an emotion he couldn't quite tell, in order to avoid looking at your face he kept himself busy with making dinner.
"I've known you for over 10 years, just because I haven't seen you for a few months doesn't mean I'm going to forget everything about you, idiot." He tutted, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. You leaned back against the counter beside him, your lips twisted into a soft frown.
"A few months huh? It feels like longer..."
You did not intend for him to hear that but he did, and honestly? He agreed.
Without you around to annoy him every hour of the day, things just seemed to go by painstakingly slow. Without you his days were boring, and as much as he hated to admit it, your stubbornness, your quick remarks and sarcastic comebacks, as much as they annoyed him, they added a certain spice to his life.
They kept him on his toes, he liked the challenges you gave him, whether it was getting the last word, winning against you in training or just coming up with the best insulting nickname. He couldn't believe he actually missed it all, but he did, and honestly? This whole dinner thing had just been an excuse to see you again.
He missed you.
"Tch, feels like not long enough." He grumbled as he moved over to the stove to turn it on. You sent him a cocky grin, shifting your weight onto your other foot. "Oh yeah? Then why were you so quick to come over here?" You hummed, tilting your head. He knew you were teasing him, he could tell by the way the words melted from your lips like butter, you were practically purring as you grinned at him. It reminded him of a cat.
He decided not to dignify you with a repsonce and you took that as a sign of victory. You giggled before turning to grab a drink from the fridge. You cracked open a can of soda and upon hearing the unmistakable fizzing noise Bakugo's head shot around to you, his eyebrows creased together in distaste. "You shouldn't be drinking that shit!" He barked at you.
"Oh come on! I've cut right back on the junk food. Look!" You threw the fridge door open to display the variety of fruits and vegetables in front of him. "I've been really healthy! I've even been doing a lot more weight training! Soon I'll be as strong as you! Maybe even more so!" You smirked, he wanted nothing more than to wipe the smug look from your face. You shut the fridge door with your foot before taking another swig of your soda.
Bakugo scoffed, "You wish! You'll have to work a lot harder before you can even dream of matching up to my strength!" He sent you a toothy grin as he watched your shoulders deflate, eyes narrowing up at him.
Bakugo continued to put the chopped up ingredients into the pan, "Why have you been eating instant ramen this whole time if you have all that shit anyway?"
You turned your head away, cheeks flushing red with embarrassment. It took a lot to swallow down your pride enough to mutter the next words. "You know I can't cook very well." It was painful to admit you were an adult with the cooking capabilities of a child. Between school and work placements you just never found the time to practise new recipes. Not to mention the fact your family usually cooked a lot of meals for you.
You had contemplated practising some recipes in the past but something always manages to come up! You knew working as a pro was going to be hard, that you'd be busy every day, but you didn't know it would consume your life to this extent.
Without another word you walked towards the living room. "Let me know when dinner is ready!" You sent him a cheeky grin as you left. Bakugo turned back to the food, grumbling something about how he wasn't a damn slave, despite being the one who offered his services in the first place.
Looking around, he finally had time to take in the room, he hadn't seen it since you first moved in and bugged him and kirishima to help move boxes. The room was well decorated, not a thing out of place. Despite the apartment being pretty small you had done well to make it homely.
As he made the curry, he added in some spices and when he picked up the shaker labelled "Extremely hot", He smirked. He recalled the good ol' days in the UA dorms. He sometimes went out of his way to spike your food with hot spices. Your face was always priceless! The thought crossed his mind to do it again. After all, it wouldn't affect him, he loved spices and, unlike you, they didn't turn his face red.
He sighed before shaking his head. You were both grown up now, and you needed to eat a proper meal. He hated to even think about it but he did care for you. More than he would like to admit. He always thought once he went pro and finally got away from you, this "curse" you two shared of always being stuck together wherever you went would disappear, and he would be happy.
But he wasn't, somewhere down the damn line he has gotten used to your annoying presence, he had grown to like your quick remarks, how you never backed down from him, you weren't afraid to speak you mind or put him in his place, and as much as all those qualities used to bug the shit out of him as a kid, he had grown to respect them, even-... love them?
He clenched his teeth when he felt his cheeks heating up. God, he hated this. He wasn't cut out for this lifestyle! Why was he even here!? He could be out training! Not pining over his childhood enemy! The curry sauce started to bubble over in the pan and he cursed to himself, once again he was so distracted with thoughts of you that he couldn't concentrate on the task at hand!
He finished making the food, doing everything he could not to let his mind wander back to thoughts of you. He grabbed a few plates before putting the rice and curry onto them. He yelled through to you that the food was done, "I'm only in the next room! You don't have to yell so loud!" He huffed in amusement, your words were ironic considering your volume matched his. He smiled at your never ending bite, you always had something to say.
Such a smartass. He shouldn't enjoy it as much as he did.
You came through, throwing the empty soda can into the trash as you passed and sat down in the seat beside him. You hummed in delight, "Smells so good!!"
"Of course it does! I made it!" He grinned, taking a bite. While the lack of extreme spice was underwhelming for him, he knew you would like it. Your face twisted into distaste at his smugness, "I forgot to never stroke your fat ego."
He growled, ready to yell at you for the remark but when he saw you take the first bite of food his anger was forgotten.
Your eyes lit up like fireworks on a cold winter night. "I also forgot how crazy good of a cook you are!" You beamed, happily digging into the curry. His features softened, something about seeing you enjoy his food so much felt really good. He almost forgot to eat himself as he watched you stuff your face. You had gotten some rice stuck to your cheek as you shoveled the dish into your mouth. It was so stupidly cute, a soft smile graced his lips.
You caught him staring, it was rare to see him smile, no cocky grin or smirk, it was a real smile. Soft, relaxed, happy. You thought your heart was going to jump out of mouth. You did not expect that sight when you looked up from your food.
You gulped, not because there was food in your mouth, but because the atmosphere had suddenly changed. There was an invisible weight ontop of you both, crushing you.
"What…?" You asked quietly, hiding your face behind your hair. He snapped out of it, realising he'd been caught he froze, his heart skipped a beat. However, there was no time for him to get embarrassed because next thing he knew he was throwing a towel at you "You got rice all over your face, idiot! Wipe it off! You look stupid!"
You grumbled as the fabric hit your face, yet complied and wiped your lips clean. You went back to eating, this time more carefully so you didn't make a mess. You noted the mild spices but didn't comment on them. It was unusual for Bakugo to not fire up his dishes with spice. The decision to make the curry mild definately wasnt for his own benifit. He'd done it for you.
It made you smile, and as much as you wanted to thank him for it you figured he wouldn't want you bringing up his strangely nice gesture since he had been so silent about it.
During the dinner you talked about your new work lives, how you'd been coping living alone, anything that came to mind. Of course, that came with a variety of witty comments and snarky comebacks, but it was just how you liked it. It was how it had always been, how you always wanted it to be.
Once the plates were clean you stood up, reaching over to grab his plate so you could clean up but his hand shot out and grabbed your wrist. You paused, looking up to meet his eyes. "I'll help clean." He said, picking up his plate and taking it to the sink. You smiled, following him with your own plate.
"Wow, cooking and cleaning? Has anyone ever told you that you'd be a perfect house wife?" You smirked at him as he filled up the sink with soap and water.
"At least I can cook." He shot back without missing a beat. You laughed st the remark, nudging his side as you pushed your wasy in front of the sink. You continued to chat as you cleaned up, you washed as he dried.
As you finished up scrubbing the last dish Bakugo made a comment about you eating like a pig at dinner which, in return, made you splashed his face using soapy dish water.
He growled when he felt the droplets soaking his face and hair, but hearing your laughter made it hard to stay his usual, grumpy self. Instead he settled for dipping his fingers into the water and flicking you back.
Your face scrunched up, eyes closing to avoid any soap suds getting in your eyes.
You took his reciprocation as a declaration of war and it soon turned into a mini, kitchen water fight. Laughter filled the once quiet apartment as you fought each other.
For a moment it didn't feel like you lived alone, for the first time in months you felt like that empty space in your life had been filled again.
You had to stop the water fight before you soaked the kitchen as well as each other. As fun as it was you didn't want to have to clean up for the third time today.
Once all the dishes were put away and you dried yoursleved using a spare towel; Bakugo narrowed his eyes at the front door.
He wasn't sure if he should go, a part of him didn't want to. He only came over to make you dinner, now that was over he had no reason to stay. Should he make up some bullshit excuse to stay? He didn't want you teasing him again.
Despite taking a few minutes to think up an excuse to stay, he came up with nothing. Grumbling to himself he kicked his foot against the ground and turned around to you, ready to say goodbye.
His eyes widened upon landing on you, you held up two gaming controllers, a grin on your lips as you pushed one towards him. "Wanna try finally beating me at mario kart?"
"What are you talking about! I win all the time!" He rolled his eyes and snatched a controller from your hands, taking on your challenge. He felt the weight lift from his shoulders, you were giving him a reason to stay longer and he wasn't about to turn that down.
"You beat me at super smash bros! But never mario kart!" You backfired, plopping down onto the couch as the console fired up.
"Then let's play super smash bros!"
"We do not play that in this household!" You stomped your foot at the thought of the game you could never beat him at. Bakugo scoffed and sat next to you. "You're such a fucking sore loser!"
You forced a laugh before sending him a glare, leaning closer to him. You reaction must have amused him as he smirked at you. "I do not want to hear that from you!"
"Shut up and let's play!" The first round started up, the familiar countdown sound ringing in your ears. You'd like to say things started pretty civil, but It didn't take long for you to start shoving each other as you battled for first place. There was a lot of yelling, combined with a lot of laughter and cheering. It was the most lively your apartment had ever felt, in just one night Bakugo was able to change all of that.
A few rounds turned into hours. You didn't even notice how high up the moon was in the sky. You were too busy enjoying each other's company, having more fun than either of you had experienced in months.
You shot out of your seat pumping your fist into the air as you passed the finish line in first place once again.
"HAH! You still can't beat me!” You boasted.
The blond threw the controller down, his teeth clenched tight as he grumbled. “Next time I’m bringing super smash bros!” You sat back down, giggling as you poked his side. “Who's the sore loser now huh? Big baby.” You teased, poking a finger into his side, much like poking a bear with a stick, it was a recipe for disaster.
He growled and jumped to you grabbing your hands to keep them away from prodding him. You started laughing again, squirming and battling with him, determined to keep attacking but your giggle fit made it hard to fight back.
As you were laughing you missed yet another rare smile on his face. He didn't know what was going on with him, maybe he was just in a good mood today? He had taken down a group of robbers earlier when he was on patrol, and taking down villains always felt good.
All he knew was that he never wanted the moment to end, it was nice to hear your stupid laughter again, to see you smiling as you tried to match his strength and fight back. He hadn't even realised that some point during your play fight he had knocked you down onto your back and was hovering over you.
He had always been the stronger of the pair so you lost fairly quickly. His hands pinned yours beside your head. "That was a good fight you put up, but it's still not good enough to match up to me." He smirked down at you
You stuck out her tongue at him, panting as you tried to kick your legs at him. Turns out he had thought ahead and pinned those down too. You huffed through your nose, tasting defeat was bitter.
You stared at each other, as the laughter died down so did the playfulness. The atmosphere became serious. He wasn't sure what it was, but there was some sort of unspoken feeling between you both. He gulped, noting the way your hair was sprawled out on the couch beneath you, creating a halo of hair around your head. Your eyes shone as they stared into his, he had never noticed what a nice colour they were, and your lips- they looked so soft..
There was a pull, an invisible red string tugging you closer to each other and connecting your hearts.
But, you both ignored it. He got off of you and sat back. He ran a hand through his hair, you both avoided eye contact.
Looking out the window Bakugo finally noticed that the moon had long ascended into the night sky. Had he been here that long? God, it must be passed midnight but he felt like he had only been here for an hour. He shook his head and stood up, You watched him with parted lips, your heart racing at the tension.
What was that feeling between you two? It was so strong. Did he feel it too? It was sending your head into a spin.
"I should go." He muttered, he didn't want to go, he really didn't but the words were leaving his mouth before he had time to process them.
He had felt it too, and he didn't know how to react. He hadn't felt anything like it before, it made his heart race, he felt weak and he didn't like it. He knew he felt- something for you? But was it enough to call it love?
You looked up at him, giving him a nod, not like he could see since his back was already turned. You stood up, arms wrapping around yourself as you walked him to the door.
There were so many unspoken words between you. So many feelings left unexpressed. You bit your lip, voice caught in your throat as you watched him silently slip on his shoes. He opened the front door, pausing for a second, hesitating... "See ya."
"Bye." You replied as he closed the door behind him.
The appartment suddenly ran cold, silent, a chill running across your skin. The silence cut through your ears like a sharp blade.
You pulled your arms tighter around yourself. How could you deny it? Having him around again had been amazing, even if just for one afternoon. You despised him as a child, but over time, throughout highschool, through building a silent trust, a friendship had formed, and then-… and then somewhere down the line it turned into more.
No matter how much you tried to convince yourself otherwise, you loved being around him, you had a strong bond, you had watched him grow and become a better person, you had seen each other at your best and at your worst. You had fought each other but also fought with each other. You cared for each other, you annoyed the hell out of each other, you had been through so much together.
He had always been there, even if you didn't want him to be. You had hated him and you had loved him...
You… loved him…
Your eyes widened, "I.. love him." You muttered, saying it out loud made it all the more real. A feeling of wanting to slap yourself silly for being so blind overcame you.
You loved him! Of course you loved him!!You had always been so focused on school and work that you hadn't even noticed you were growing feelings for your childhood rival?
You couldn't let him go again! How many more months until you got to see each other again? You had always somehow ended up stuck together, it felt like he would always be there but now you had witnessed what life was like without him around… you hated it! For the first time in your life, you wanted him around.
You couldn't sit around in your lonely apartment each day now you knew you were in love with that jerk!
"God damnit! Why did it have to be him." You ran to the door and flung it open, not even thinking of shoes as you ran out into the cold night air. "Maybe he didn't get far-"
You rounded the corner before colliding with what you could only assume was a brick wall. You winced, pulling back and rubbing your nose. You looked up, coming face to face with none other than the man himself.
You stared at each other in shock, he came back for you too? This whole scene, these feelings, neither of you could have ever imagined this is where you would've end up.
"I need to tell you something!" You spoke in unison, making you both cringe.
"You first." He crossed his arms stubbornly, wanting to know you were on the same wave as he was and hadn't just ran after him because he left something.
You sighed, rubbing your arm, glancing away for a second to collect yourself. You hadn't thought this far ahead so you had no idea what to say. You sighed, looking up to meet his eyes, the best way would be to face your feelings head on. No going back! Even if he rejects you, at least he would respect you being blunt with it, he hated when people beat around the bush.
"I love you." You said, your head lifted high. His eyes widened at your bold declaration, his tense demeanour dropping. "I wanted to tell you before you disappear for months again. So there you have it, I'm in love with you. Believe me or not I don't care. I just- mmph!" Hands yanked you forward by your hips, smooth lips molded against your own when he head dipped down.
It took a few seconds to reciprocate, but when you did he pulled you closer. Your hands went to his shoulders to steady yourself, your legs felt weak, but that didn't stop you from kissing back.
You smiled into the kiss, you couldn't help it. Not only did the kiss feel great but the way he had pulled you in for it without wasting time with words was just such a Bakugo thing to do.
"I love you too, dumbass." He muttered when he pulled away, You let out a breathy laugh and shook your head. "You have such a way with words~"
"Shut up." You giggled at him before you went back in for another kiss, longer, holding more passion as your years of pent up feelings finally reached the surface. Your heads tilted and turned, hands roaming each other's bodies, his arms wrapped around you, his body heat protecting your bare skin from the chill of the night.
He backed you up agaisnt the wall. His tongue ran across your bottom lip, you weren't sure how long you had been standing there but it felt like you were the only two people in the world.
It was so late not another soul was to be see. It was just you, him and the city lights.
His hand ran down towards your thigh, only for you both to jump back when the distance sound of a car honking ripped through your serentity.
Panting as you stared at each other, almost not believing you had just msde out with each other. You pressed your fingers to your tingling lips. A smile on your face, "So- uh, wanna come inside for a bit?” the mischief in your eyes did not match the innocent smile on your face. He knew exactly what you were planning, "Fuck yes."
And there was no way he was going to turn it down.
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All my love
Warnings: noncon sex (oral, intercourse), stalking, general creepiness and deception.
This is dark!Peter Parker (adult) and explicit. 18+ only.
Summary: The reader is new to the big city but she has a new friend watching over her.
Note: This is my first dark!Peter Parker so please be easy on me. He has been aged up and this takes place when he’s grown up and living his spidey dreams. I’ve made him like uber creepy I think and it gets pretty eerie I think but I hope yall enjoy some Spidey.
Anyway :) Please like, reply, and/or reblog if you read. <3 Love you all.
It started on Monday. The first day of the week. Something was always bound to go awry.
You should have suspected it. Work had been too easy. The library had seen a steady flow of patrons but not overwhelming. Visitors and books alike kept you busy and time rolled by. It was just too good to be true.
You stepped inside your small apartment and bent to pick up the mail just inside. The carrier had left a deluge of flyers on your floor. You stood and shifted through the coupons and carpet cleaning service ad. There was a single bill and another unmarked envelope.
You set your purse on the coffee table and the bill too. You sat and turned the envelope in your hand. It didn't even have your address on it. You squinted and slowly slid your nail along the lip. You peeled the envelope open and slipped out the folded paper inside. It was a handwritten letter, your name at the top beside a small heart. You stared at the greeting in confusion.
You didn't know too many people in the city. You'd transferred to New York from a small town. You wanted to live on your own, like, truly on your own. You didn't want your parents just down the street or to run into the people you went to high school with everywhere you went. It was scary but in a thrilling way.
Okay, you breathed and carried on.
My darling,
You do not know me but I know you. I know your favourite cafe to get coffee by the park and the little mouse keychain on your purse. I know you like rainy days and reading in your window.
I know you're all alone. Lonely, even. I know the curves of your lips and the spark in your eye. I know everything but you don't know me.
But you can. You only need to ask me in. To leave the door open for your secret admirer.
All my love.
A bigger heart to end the letter. The paper fluttered from your fingers as you stood. You marched to the door and turned the deadbolt. You hooked the chain in place and peered through the peephole. The hall was empty.
Your heart raced and you turned to glance around your apartment. Was it a joke? Some sick prank by a neighbour? Or worse? You pushed yourself from the door and strode back to grab the paper. You crumpled it and tossed it in the bin.
You didn't sleep that night. Or the next night. Another letter greeted you after work. The same sentiments, the same paralyzing fear. You threw it away like the other and a third one arrived on Wednesday.
You didn't read that one or the one the next day. You made sure to lock the door and windows and slept with a light on and knife under your mattress.
On Friday, you were ready to crumble. You couldn't decipher or explain the odd letters. You were on desk duty; answering questions, processing fines, and registering new members.
It was close to your lunch break when the man walked in. His brown uniform and the slim box beneath his arm betrayed his occupation. The delivery man smiled as he approached your desk.
"I have a package for…" He held up his electronic pad and read your name.
"That would be me," You replied dumbly.
"I just need a signature," He turned the pad to you. "Then it's all yours."
You took the pen and signed. Sometimes packages were addressed to employees. Usually packets of forms or new labels. Nothing overly important.
The carrier handed over the small package and left you to ponder its contents. You would wait until your lunch and finish up scanning returns.
You had your usual boxed lunch; a sandwich, tea, and a granola bar. The break room was small and smelled of aged paper, like the rest of the library, with a hint of coffee.
You took the package as you chewed your turkey and rye. You peeled away the paper and slid the small box out. It wasn’t really big enough to fit the usual forms. You lifted the lid and blinked at the fold of tissue paper inside. You moved it away from the slip of fabric beneath.
You gasped and pulled away. What the actual fuck? The frilled pink panties stared back at you and you hurried to replace the top of the box. Your hands shook as you pushed the box across the table and into your over-sized leather tote.
You wrapped up your sandwich and closed up your travel mug. You’d finish your tea at the desk. You weren’t very hungry anymore. You packed up and waited for the clock to tick. You punched and returned to the services desk.
As the day wore on, you grew antsy. Every man who approached you had you on edge. Someone was watching you. Not just at home but work too.
Was it the man with the salt and pepper hair and square glasses? Or the one with pale blonde hair and the checkered shirt? Was it a man? Maybe it was the woman with her messy bun and baggy sweater.
When you left, you walked quickly to the subway. Your ears pricked at every footstep and you peeked over your shoulder every thirty seconds. You stepped onto the train and watched the strangers filter in after you. Were they watching you then?
You looked up and down the car and shivered. When your stop came up, you bolted off the train and up the stairs to ground level. Your flats scraped on the pavement as you rushed around the bodies of the New York crowds.
You slammed your buildings door and ran up the stairs two at a time. You paused as your apartment and peered along the hallway. There was no one else there. No eyes shining from the corner, no shadow looming against the wall.
You shoved your key in the door and pushed inside. You locked it behind you and your eyes bounced around the apartment. All was as you had left it. Curtains drawn, throw crumpled across the couch, your mug still on the coffee table.
You dropped your bag on the chair and paced the edge of the area rug. You spun back and neared the chair. You pulled out the box and shook as you opened it again. Beneath the panties was a red card. You fished it out and read the scrawled writing; the same found in the letters.
My darling,
It breaks my heart to see you so lonely. I hoped that I could comfort you in my absence. Let these be a poor substitute to my touch. My fingers along your skin, tickling you, caressing you fondly.
All my love.
You placed the card back in the box and closed it up. You trembled as you took it and marched into your room. You shoved it at the bottom of your drawer, to the back, so you’d never have to think about it.
You slumped on the edge of your bed and held your head. Your mind was in a flurry. Panic and anger mixed into one. Whoever was doing this was crazy. Why were they doing this to you? You rocked as you tried to focus; tried to come up with something.
Nothing. What could you do? Your tormentor was as good as invisible and in a city like New York it was hard to pick out any among the bunch. The cat callers, the beggars, the swindlers, all too obvious. This person knew how to lose themselves in the crowd. They knew how to watch while not being seen.
You sighed and fell back. Keep the doors locked and a bigger knife under the mattress. That was all you could do.
-
That night was as sleepless as the last. You tossed and turned and managed to doze just as the clock hit two. It was a shallow sleep. One in which you were floating too close to the surface. Shapes moved along your eyelids and your head ached. An exhaustion-induced slumber, nothing more. It was far from restful.
You woke with a start. You swore you had felt a tickle along your neck. Almost like a hand. You sat up and peered into the dark. Shadows of furniture and the glare of streetlights streaming through the window. You were alone.
But you hadn't been. You looked at the mattress next to you. The blanket was folded back and the sheets were wrinkled from occupation. You slid your fingers slowly along the imprint. The bed was still warm.
You grabbed for your phone and the knife beneath your mattress. You dialed the police as you got up and held the blade at the ready. You slowly traversed the perimeter of your room as the line picked up.
"9-1-1, what is your emergency?"
"There's someone in my apartment," Your voice was low and shaky. "I was asleep and I woke up and…s-someone's here. They've been following me."
"Okay, Miss, are they in the same room as you? Can you lock yourself in somewhere?"
"I don't know where they are," You quavered. "I can…get to the bathroom."
"Go in there and lock the door," The operator advised. "What's your address, miss?"
You gave your address as you crept into the bathroom and clicked the lock into place. You sat beside the toilet and bit your nails as you held the phone to your ear. Your eyes clung to the door, waiting for it to be kicked in.
"I have dispatched the police. I want you to talk to me until they get there, okay?"
"Okay," It was half a whisper. You held the knife at your knee and exhaled into the phone.
"Breathe, okay? They're almost there." You nodded another acquiescence and the operator talked to fill the silence. To drown out the dread.
You heard a bang. Then another. Voices followed and the distant beep of a radio. You edged over to the door and slowly unlocked it. You crept out with knife in hand, phone still against your ear.
You saw the dark uniforms and set the knife on the table inside your bedroom door. You assured the operator the police arrived and they let you go. You were tempted to hug the officers as they shone their flashlights around your small living room.
"Ma'am, are you okay? Where is the intruder?"
"I...I didn't see them but...there was someone here. I swear. I woke up...and-- come see." You sounded crazy, even to you.
The second officer flicked on the lights as the other made to follow. You led them to your bedroom and switched the lamp on. You pointed to the bed.
"S-see. Someone was in my bed." The outline was still there. "It was warm and--"
"This is the bed you sleep in, ma'am?" They shared a doubtful look.
"Yes, but on the other side. I woke and...they've been leaving letters and they sent this."
You scurried to your dresser and pulled out the box. You handed it to the first officer and he raised a brow. He took the box and opened it. He stifled a chuckle and moved the panties aside to read the card.
"Ma'am, the police aren't here to deal with your clingy exes." He jibed.
"It's not--I don't…" A tap at the window interrupted your protest.
A shadow loomed on the other side. The second officer stepped around the bed and sighed. He unlatched the window and slid it up. A figure in a red suit sat on your ledge. You'd seen him in newspapers and on television but never in person.
Spider-man swung lithely into your apartment. You were stunned.
"Saw the cars, the lights. Thought I'd check in." He said coolly.
"False alarm," The second officer crossed his arms. "Lady's ex is just tryna win her back."
"No…" You gulped helplessly and shook your head. It was no good. Why did you throw the letters away? They would see then.
"Come on, Lawson, we gotta deal with real problems." The first officer scoffed and led the other out. "In the future," He paused at your bedroom door and glanced back, "I suggest you only use the emergency line for emergencies."
The second rolled his eyes. "Best find some real criminals to bust, Spidey."
You watched them go and frowned. You turned back to the superhero still stood by your window. His head was tilted curiously but thankfully his mask hid his disdain.
“I’m sorry. I...you can go,” You said awkwardly as you crossed your arms.
You picked up the box the officer had left on your bed and shoved it back in the drawer. You turned and he was still there. You frowned.
“If you want, I can...keep an eye out.” He offered. His voice was kinder than you expected. “Just outside. Maybe camp out on the fire escape…”
“Why?”
“You look tired. And it’s pretty slow tonight. Plus, it’s my job.” He shrugged.
“Really?” You asked as you shifted your weight. “You don’t have to--”
“I do. If you’re afraid, I do. This city is mine to watch over. That means everyone. Even you.” It sounded like he was smiling but through the mask, you couldn’t see much. “So, I’m gonna plop myself on that fire escape, maybe kick the feet up, and if you need anything, you give a tap, okay?”
“But...what if somebody else--”
“Seems like the police are already on it, wouldn’t you say? One night without Spider-man, I think New York will survive. I mean, what do you think they did before me?”
You chewed your lip and thought. You looked at your bed and sighed. You were tired. The thought of sleep was intoxicating. A rare chance to rest without paranoia. In five days, sleep had become a forlorn memory.
“If it’s okay…” You ventured. “Just a few hours. I don’t want you to stay though if something happens.”
“It’ll be fine.” He assured you. “Get some sleep.” He neared the window and paused. “Uh, sorry, didn’t get your name.”
“My name?” You wondered. You figured it only made sense. Afterall, he’d be camping out under your window. You gave it to him and he nodded.
“You can call me Spidey, Spider-man, or some people call me a pest.” He hooked his leg through the window. “Your call.” He slipped out onto the escape and grabbed the pane. “Good night.”
With that, he shut the window and spun to sit on the metal platform with a creak. You stared out after him. You went to the bed and smoothed out the indent of the intruder before you climbed under the covers. He’d probably leave the minute you dozed but at least you’d be able to fall asleep.
-
You had Saturdays off. The interns and part-timers mostly worked the weekends. When you woke, you sat up and rubbed your eyes. You yawned and stretched as you turned your legs over the bed. A tap came at the window and you jumped. It was Spider-man.
It was an odd thought. An Avenger right outside your window. You stood and crossed to the pane. You opened it for him and he leaned through.
“How’d you sleep?” He asked.
“Fine. Very good actually. Thank you. I can’t believe…” You blinked at the sunlight that limned his figure. “You didn’t have to stay all night.”
“But I did. And you were safe.” He countered. “Now, it’s my turn to go get some sleep.”
“Thank you.” You said.
“Never a problem. Especially for you.” His fingers tapped on the frame and he stared at you for a moment. He cleared his throat and shook himself. “Anyways, I’m tired. I should go.”
“Alright...bye.” You smiled nervously.
“Yeah, see ya.” He hesitated before he spun back and jumped up on the rail. “Don’t worry. I’ll be swinging around soon.”
With that, he launched himself off the escape and you watched as he repelled along the next building with his webs. You closed the window and ran your hands over your hair. You needed coffee.
You walked blindly into the living room and through to the kitchen. You sniffed as you set up the machine and hit brew. You leaned against the counter as you waited for the morning cure. Your eyes strayed to the door. An envelope on the floor, a single rose attached. It must have fluttered through the slot when you were asleep. Your heart skipped.
You pushed yourself away from the counter and tiptoed to the door. You bent and picked up the letter. You set aside the rose and opened it with your nail. You pulled out the paper and read it with your stomach in your throat.
My darling,
I apologize if I startled you but seeing you last night was so lovely. I have missed you and could not resist a kiss. You were so peaceful I did not want to wake you. I hope you liked my gift and cannot wait to see them on you.
All my love.
You dropped the letter and clutched your chest. You reached up to touch your lips and a wave of nausea threatened. He had been there and he had kissed you in your sleep. At least, it would seem he did. You shook and supported yourself against the counter.
The rose tumbled to the floor as you tried to keep from hyperventilating. You stared down at its pale pink petals and grunted. You stomped it until it was in pieces and the grind of the coffee machine matched your frustration.
Why wouldn’t they leave you alone? What had you done to draw their attention?
You leaned, out of breath and numb, against the counter. You only hoped Spidey was in the neighbourhood during their next visit, otherwise you were fucked.
-
He did come back. Spidey, that was. He surprised you as you sat against your headboard reading. It was a distraction to keep you awake. You knew you wouldn’t be sleeping that night.
It was almost midnight when the knock came. You jumped and looked to the window. You could see his outline beneath the streetlight, the faint hint of red beneath the yellow glare. You got up and unlocked the window. He leaned against the ledge and looked around your room.
“Told you I’d be back,” He announced. “You okay?”
“Yeah, just reading,” You held up your book. “Can’t sleep.”
“Oh, so then you do need me,” He commented.
“No, I wouldn’t expect you to--”
“I can’t just leave you here. Alone. Afraid. Don’t worry, you’re not getting in the way of my crime fighting style.” He assured you. “Isn’t that what I’m doing here? Keeping you safe?”
“Yeah, but…” You sighed. “It’s really not the same. I’m just one person and there’s--”
“There’s others out there doing the job better than me. The cops, firefighters, paramedics. I’m really just back up to those guys.” He argued. “Promise, if anything pressing comes up, you’ll see me diving headfirst into it, okay?”
You rubbed your neck as you thought. You really didn’t want to be alone. “Alright…” You relented. “But...I feel bad, you sitting out there. Do you wanna...um, maybe you could pull up a chair instead?”
“Oh, uh, yeah,” He sounded surprised by the offer. “I mean, if it’s not too much. To be quite honest, this escape gives me a touch of vertigo and it’s not very accommodating to the tush.”
“Yeah, no problem,” You backed up and he climbed over the sill. You left him there as you went through to the living room to drag in the Ikea armchair you used more for your purse than yourself. “Here. It’s not the best but...it’s what I got.”
“I’m not picky,” He neared and lifted the chair easily and planted it in front of the window. “I’ve sat in worse.” You watched him sit and put his feet up on the window pane. “Now, get some sleep.”
-
That wasn't the last night the webbed crusader showed up at your window. A few mornings he even stayed for coffee. He was friendly enough and seemed to enjoy your company even if you were a bit quiet. He did most of the talking anyway.
And the letters continued to slide through your mail slot. Flowers sent to home and work alike. The ominous shadow, still unseen, always along your peripherals but never coming into focus.
It was three weeks since it began and two weeks since Spidey declared himself your personal watchman. You kept the letters in a box and made note of every occurrence. The next time the police came, you'd be prepared.
You were at work. The letter had been waiting for you there. You didn't read it. You hid it in your bag and tried to focus on cataloging. Your mind was frayed and it became harder to hold the threads together. After scanning the same book six times, you gave up.
You looked around the library. A dull Monday morning.
You went to Lois at the service desk. She had a book open before her as no patrons lined up for her help.
"Hey, I hate to do this but do you mind if I...go? I'm not feeling so hot." You asked.
"I was gonna say, you don't look so good," She joked. "Course, hun, think I can handle the hordes alone."
"I'm so sorry." You said. "Really."
"Don't worry about it, this place is about as lively as a convent." She looked back to her book. "Go on. Worst comes, I can get an intern in for extra credit."
"Thanks. I'll be in early tomorrow. Promise."
"Just go," She chided. "Before I decide I want company."
You were only too thankful to be done. You thought of adding locks to the door. on the subway. You got off and pondered finding a new apartment. It might be your only hope.
You were reassured to find your locks secure. You opened the door and closed it quietly. You paused and listened. You could hear the wind as if you'd left your window open.
You tiptoed to your bedroom and peeked inside. A familiar red-clothed back greeted you. Unaware as he stood over your dresser, a small box in hand, he rubbed the pink fabric between his fingers and your jaw dropped. What the fuck?
Your bag slipped from your hand and he turned to you. You were knocked back by the sudden force against your chest as the web sprang across your middle. You fell into the door frame as Spidey tossed the box aside. The pointed eyes of his mask rounded and he stuttered as he looked around.
As wordless as you, he darted for the window and disappeared into the sky. You held onto the wood as you gaped at the open window. You were breathless from both the suddenness of the scene and the force of the web.
You looked down and tried to peel the strings from your sweater. They were tough and clung to the fabric. You gave up and shook your head. Your entire body was rattled. Was this what shock felt like? You crossed to the window and closed it. The lock slid into place and you peered through the glass.
You were entirely confused. Was he a snoop or a pervert? His evasion would suggest the latter, as well as the way he held the panties. Had you unwittingly invited a second predator into your life? Or had you merely traded one for the other?
Yet, the first hadn’t gone. He stayed in the shadows and now his chance to jump had come.
-
You didn’t sleep for a week. Not truly. You napped after work when the sun was on its decline but in the dark, there was no rest to be had. Alone and terrified, you huddled on your couch under the light of a lamp. You tried to read, but your mind was too frazzled for that. Then you’d just stare at the wall and doze off only to jump awake in a moment.
It wasn’t just the fatigue wearing on your mind. It was the incessant letters, the unwanted gifts, and now, texts. Nothing was yours anymore. You waited every night for the lock to break and your stalker to stroll in with knife or rope.
Then there was the loneliness. You didn’t realize how accustomed you had grown to the nocturnal visits. Spidey had become a stalwart of your nightly routine. You missed his shadow in the chair, staring out over the city. But you couldn’t help but wonder why he had been snooping around in your underwear?
Maybe you couldn’t trust anyone in this city. Maybe you should go back home to the old library with the church bell. A place where you had family to look over you and not some fantastical superhero.
You flinched as the coffee table buzzed. You looked over as your phone lit up. You blocked the first number. And the second. The third. The fourth. You lost count. It didn’t matter, they found a way. There was no barrier strong enough to keep them away. Definitely not your old front door with it rusty chain lock.
You ignored the vibration. You held your head and grumbled. Another buzz. And a another. You grabbed your phone and looked at the notifications.
Private number: Darling, are you okay?
Private number: You haven’t answered me. I am beginning to worry for you.
Private number: You should sleep, darling. It is late and you look so tired.
You hit silent and slammed the phone down. You were shaking. You looked around, the streetlights shone as they always did, and the speckled windows of other buildings mirrored the stars. You stood and let the thin throw fall back on the couch.
You stormed over to the window and ripped it open. You poked your head out and looked up and down the fire escape. No one. And yet it was as if they could see you. You grunted through your teeth and gripped the window sill.
“What do you want from me?” You shouted into the night. “Just leave me alone!”
The fire escape creaked and a spot appeared in the corner of your eye. You yiped and pulled back and grabbed the window. A hand kept it from closing; the patterned red fabric revealed its owner. Spidey held the window and bent to look through.
“Sorry, didn’t mean to scare you,” He said. “I...Are you okay?”
“No,” You crossed your arms. “I’m not.”
Silence rose between you as he perched outside your window. He hung his head and scratched his chin in thought.
“I am sorry, you know? I didn’t...I was only being nosy. It wasn’t--” He cleared his throat. “I shouldn’t have touched your stuff, I was only curious, you know? About why you were so scared.” He leaned on the pane. “I understand if you can’t forgive me but I had to at least apologize.”
You thought. You swallowed as the words bubbled in your throat. What had he really done but rifle through your dresser? He shouldn’t have done that, yes, but perhaps you had been quick to condemn. What had he done to earn such snap judgement? He had sat in your window and kept you safe for weeks. He had saved the city time and again and you were mad because he dared to open a drawer.
“You could’ve asked.” You dropped your arms. “I guess...I can’t be mad forever.”
He perked up. If you could see behind the mask, you were sure he was smiling.
“I can stay out here for the night but...you look like you need some peace. Some sleep.” He remarked.
“No, don’t stay out there.” You relented. “And thank you. I do need the sleep. I haven’t...You don’t have to--”
“Consider it my penance,” He carefully climbed through the window, almost hesitant to come inside. “Promise you, these fingers may be sticky but they will keep to themselves.”
“We’ll see,” You kidded and he closed the window.
“Now, young lady, I think it’s time you get to bed,” He said playfully. “I’ll take first watch.”
You chuckled and led him into the bedroom. The chair was still by the window. You were reluctant to move it back. Moving it would mean you were completely alone. You sat on the bed as he moved through the dark. He stopped by the chair and turned to you as you pulled back the blanket.
“Should I tuck you in or…” You raised a brow and he laughed. “I’m joking. I do that when I’m...nervous.”
You blinked at him. Spider-man, nervous? Around you? You smiled. “It’s fine.” You yawned into your hand.
“Sleep,” He rounded the chair and sat, “I mean it. You know sleep deprivation can kill.”
“Gee, so optimistic,” You laid back on the pillows and pulled the blanket up. “Thanks. Really.”
“Enough of that.” He warned. “Sleep. Please.”
He watched you as you snuggled into the mattress. He didn’t look away even as you rolled onto your side. Through the dark you could feel his gaze. Despite the apology, the forgiveness, the jokes, it felt different. There was something off but your tired mind just couldn’t piece it together.
-
You slept so heavily, all traces of consciousness slipped from you. Your dreams were filled with hazy sunlight and muted tones. There was no story line, only a kaleidoscope of colours. It was like a river washing over you, cleansing you. All the sleep you had lost weighed you down until it felt like chains were hooked on wrist and ankle.
Your eyes opened slowly. Your head felt full of cotton and your mouth was dry. There was an unusual warmth beside you. You forced your eyes open and looked over. A man you’d never seen before laid there. Reddish brown hair and delicate but stony features. His brown eyes met yours and he smiled.
You did know him. He still wore the suit, only he had disposed of the mask. Your heart leapt and you tried to shake the sleep from your head. Were you still dreaming?
“Good morning, darling,” He sang as his fingers ran along your cheek.
“What are you--” You batted away his hand. “What did you just call me?”
“Shhh,” He sat up as you did.
His hand clamped over your mouth as he hushed you and his other arm snaked around you. He drew you close. It was hard to believe this was the man behind the mask. He was still boyish and yet there was something darker. Something simmering beneath the surface. You whimpered as he clung to you.
“I didn’t mean to frighten you, darling.” He cooed.
That word again. You tensed and your eyes searched the room. Was this really Spidey? Or had another snuck in and took his place?
“You looked so peaceful, I couldn’t resist. So long watching, it becomes harder to stay away.” He bit his lip and leaned in. He dragged his nose along yours as he spoke, his break hot around his hand. You trembled. “Please don’t be afraid. I’ve only watched over you. To keep you safe. To keep you company. You looked so alone.”
You murmured into his hand and he held you tighter. You brought your hands up to push against him and he sighed.
“I won’t hurt you. Ever.” He promised as your eyes widened. “Please know that.” He smiled sweetly and leaned back. “So please don’t scream.”
He slowly removed his hand from your mouth. You stared at him. Your eyes burned and your heart hammered in your ears. You opened your mouth to shriek. His fingers flicked and you were once more smothered. The thick webs covered your mouth and you reached up to pry them away.
He caught your hands and held them away from your lips. “I don’t want it to be like this, darling,” He said. “I’d love to kiss you and those webs won’t make that easy.” Your voice was smothered as you tried to argue and his grip grew tighter around your wrists. “Have I hurt you?”
You blinked and lowered your brow. He hadn’t but he hadn’t been honest either. This whole time it had been him. Watching you, following you, taunting you. And he had sat in your bedroom and pretended to be your protector. You were a fool.
“I have only been good to you. And you would throw out my letters and spurn my gifts.” He tutted. “Wallowed in your loneliness.”
You tried to pull away and he tugged you closer. He got up on his knees and forced you onto your back. He climbed over you and straddled you to the bed. He released a hand and held the other against a bar along the headboard. He webbed it in place and grabbed the other. You tried to wiggle free but he caught you easily.
You kicked as your wrists were restrained above you. Your cries dampened by the webs across your lips. His fingertips tickled your neck and he framed your face with his hands. He smiled down at you. You squirmed helplessly as he squeezed his thighs to your sides.
He shot his hands out behind him. Your feet were caught in the webs that wrapped around the end board. You were entirely at his mercy. He inhaled deeply and carefully got off of you. His eyes ran the length of your body and you pulled against the restraints. It made no difference.
He turned and opened the dresser drawer. He pulled out the same box and opened it. He held up the panties.
“I was sad you didn’t wear them.” He bemoaned. “A nice colour on you.”
You grunted and looked to the ceiling. It felt as if the walls were closing in. Your body was covered in goosebumps and yet you couldn’t stop sweating.
“It’s okay. We can save them for a special occasion.” He tucked them back beneath the tissue paper. “I just want us to enjoy this, darling. Let’s not worry about anything else.”
You glanced down at your body. The loose pajama shorts and camisole were poor protection. You hadn’t thought much of it in the dark. Now the morning light glowed in the window frames and limned along every fold and wrinkle.
“I was patient. I really was but...it’s time, darling. You and I are meant to be together.”
He reached back and his suit fell slack. He lowered it down his arms and stepped out of it with ease. He was lean but muscular, his shoulders broader than most of him. He wore little black briefs beneath the suit. He brought a knee up onto the bed and looked over your body.
“It’s a big city. Dangerous to be alone here.”
He moved between your legs and his fingers grazed your thighs. His tongue peeked out between his teeth. He purred and leaned over you, his hands on either side of you. He bent and pressed his lips to yours. You could feel him through the webs.
He brought an arm up next to your head and caressed your hair. He pulled away and his brown eyes sparkled. “You’re so beautiful.” His other hand brushed your hip and his fingers slipped beneath the hem of your camisole. “I love you, darling.”
You grimaced and he kissed you again. He dragged his lips along your cheek and down your jaw. His hand grazed your stomach and chest. He groaned. He doted on your neck and shoulders. He pushed your camisole up your torso and you flinched as he bared your chest.
His hands covered your tits and he buried his head between them. His mouth explored with fervour as his fingers kneaded tenderly. He took a nipple in his mouth and swirled his tongue around it. He nipped but did not bite. Firm but not rough.
You tensed as he moved lower down. He left a trail along your stomach as his hands hugged your hips. He nuzzled against the cotton shorts and pulled aside the loose crotch. You felt his breath along your vee and shivered.
He teased along your thighs, teeth and tongue. You winced as it sent a tingle along your spine. His fingers rubbed along your lips and he pushed them apart. You gasped but it made no sound. He ran his middle finger over your clit and replaced it with his tongue. You pushed your head back as the sensation intensified.
His mouth made you wet. You were ashamed as the heat began to gather in your core and he tasted your arousal as it rose. He suckled and lapped carefully. Every flick, every swirl, deliberate. His hand stretched over your thigh and he hummed in delight. He lifted his head, you couldn’t look at him.
“You’re delicious, darling.” He keened and you closed your eyes.
He dipped his head down again and you spasmed. His tongue danced along your clit and slid between your folds. Your head lolled back and forth. You were dizzy from the shock of it all. Your thighs tensed and your curse was muted by the webs. You were breathless as you came. Surprised by the sudden rush as it left you weak.
“See,” He parted and looked up at you. You opened your eyes, a blur of tears and splendour. “I only want to love you.”
You arched your back and pulled against the webs. It was a paltry attempt. Your last act of pride as he moved closer on his knees. He rolled his briefs down and you blanched. You looked to the ceiling again as the mattress shifted below you.
He bent over you again, his arm bent under yours as he kissed you. He cradled your cheek as he felt around with his other hand. He pushed his cock past your pajamas, the fabric pressed against your thigh, and dragged the head along your folds. You squirmed and he gripped your chin.
You opened your eyes as he poked along your entrance. He stared down at you as he pushed inside and you tried to speak through the webs. He sank, deeper and deeper, his mouth slowly opened in a silent gasp. He shuddered and paused as he bottomed out.
“Oh god,” He whispered, “Oh.”
He pressed his lips to the web. He began to move slowly. His hips rocked against you in a gentle rhythm. You squeezed your eyes shut and tried to steady your breathing. He felt much bigger than you expected.
You tried to resist the echo of your orgasm as it began to build again. You whined through your nose as his lips left yours. He hung his head next to yours and nibbled at your throat. His pace mounted a little at a time. He groaned and grunted into your skin.
He pushed himself up and grabbed your hips. His thighs were firm against yours as he worked into you. His flesh clapped loudly and you looked down at him. His muscles flexed as he watched himself fuck you. He was rabid as he admired the way his cock slid in and out of you. The sight spurred him on as he pounded into you harder with each thrust.
“I can feel it. You gonna cum?” He snarled as his pelvis jerked against yours.
You hit your head against the bed as your pussy tightened around him. You couldn’t fight it. The feel of him against your walls. The fire crackling within as it licked at your flesh. He pressed his thumb to your clit and you spasmed. It was enough to send you over the edge again.
“Oh, oh,” He slammed into you and slid his hands around to lift your ass. The angle let him even deeper. “I’m gonna--”
He exclaimed and you felt him cum. He coated your walls and it eased his last few thrusts. He rode out his climax and his head fell back as he panted. He brought his hands around to your hips and down your thighs. He caressed you as he caught his breath.
“Darling, that was…” He sighed as he smiled down at you. “Perfect.”
#dark!peter parker#peter parker#dark!peter parker x reader#peter parker x reader#spider-man#dark peter parker#mcu#marvel#fic#dark!fic#au#darkverse#dark!verse#dark peter parker x reader
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You’ve been vocal about your hate for My Chemical Romance’s Gerard Way, what is it about the guy that gets under your skin, because Boneyard Press published his first book “On Raven’s Wings”?
HDF:Short answer? Gerard Way is a liar and a fake who devalued Boneyard Press products and implied I was a liar by his deceits and instead of owning up to his deceptions he kept on lying and set his fans loose on me for an online hate campaign that hurt my wife’s recovery from Chemo and Radiation therapy to combat her ovarian and cervical cancer.
In order to inflate orders on his upcoming comic book, “The Umbrella Academy”, Dark Horse, editor Scott Allie & Gerard Way made a major press push stating the falsehood that “The Umbrella Academy” was Gerard’s first published work in comics, which they knew was a lie.
Gerard’s first published work was done over a decade earlier when Boneyard Press published his series, “On Raven’s Wings”. Issue #1 was published in April 1994, written by Gary Way, drawn by Jose Santos with inks by Dana Greene and a fully painted cover by Rob Nemeth. Issue #2 was published in September 1994 with Gary writing, Jose & Dana on the art, another great painted cover by Rob Nemeth. When Gary couldn’t hold his art team together, we canceled the series, but that didn’t stop me from schleppin’ this kids books to convention after convention telling everyone what a great new writer this kid was and that yeah, he’s got the goods. I did this for YEARS.
Dark Horse and its editorial staff knew all about this but decided to pump the numbers up with the lie about ‘first published work’. They were even lying about it when directly asked by some members of Gerard’s fan club. They claimed that Garry Way was not Gerard Way. According to Dark Horse, they were two different people.
Why did they do that? Because any comic geek worth his salt can tell you, an artist’s first published work is generally the most valuable, knowing this, fans will invest in a new book so they can have that “First published work” tag. Dark Horse & Gerard lied about it all to inflate their sales on the book.
They kept right on lying even to Rolling Stone. Dark Horse’s Scott Allie said, “Hart published Gerard’s first comics when Gerard was fifteen. I don’t think we’ve ever said Umbrella Academy is the first comic Gerard did.” Funny thing was, the very day this was quoted in Rolling Stone the Diamond Preview catalogue came out with a full page add proclaiming that The Umbrella Academy is Gerard Way’s first published work. Full page ad. Big ass bulletin points. Dark Horse and Scott were full of shit and they knew it but they threw me under the bus in the press anyway.
Ripping off your fans like that, gaming store owners, that’s some pretty low shit to pull, but it was going to get a lot lower when he sicked his fans on me & I was unable to keep my wife from reading the hate mail, which just wrecked her. I mean, she was already emaciated from the Chemo & the Radiation… Watching her crying, reading that shit he sent my way because he wasn’t man enough to own up to his own actions…
Yeah….
This shit is personal.
You ready for the background on why this is such a burn? Because here’s the long story…
So it’s the early 90’s and I get a submission packet from a high school kid named Gary Way. He was a big fan of mine so he sent this comic book that he & his buddies were doing together to me. I thought it was pretty good. So I decided to invest my money & publish it. That’s when I got to know him, when I took him under my wing.
I did this with a lot of the lost souls & angry young kids who found their way to me. I wasn’t just their publisher, I was their friend, I cared about my guys. They were important to me and I wanted them to get stronger, to be stronger, to do the best work they could do. My philosophy at Boneyard Press was give me your stragglers, give me your battered & cast offs… I would rebuild them… I would forge them into wolves and together, we would own the shadows.
Gary was one of these kids.
I used to have talks with his mother about how to keep him from getting beat up & bullied at school where he lived in Jersey. I talked with Gary quite a bit too. This was before email & texting, so people actually talked to each other then… So… after Boneyard published the first issue of his on going series, I took a liking to the kid so much I got him on the Sally Jesse Raphael show as an “Official Boneyard Press Writer” and he got to stand up & ask a question on the air.
Pretty cool for the school punching bag, right?
Gary gets out of high school & stays in touch with me through his days in college. A lot of my interns & guys did that as they were growing up. When he called me from the offices of DC & told me about his new job at Vertigo, I thought, Fuck yeah, now one of my guys is rising up! Kick Ass!
911 happens, I don’t hear from the kid again. Me, my life moves at light speed, so I don’t think twice about it… a few years go by, I’m working full time in Adult films, then I get the youtube/mail from a fan who tells me all of her friends are calling her a liar over my book, On Raven’s Wings, and it’s author Gary Way.
You see… Apparently there was a Gerard Way with a new comic book coming out from Dark Horse comics & they were marketing it as the first published work of Gerard Way, the frontman for My Chemical Romance, which will have more value in the collectible comics market & would help them get a sales bump. My fan said to her friends, “Hey, that’s not his first published work, he did a series for Boneyard Press as Gary Way, that’s his first published work.” She contacts me to get the truth. I go fucking ballastic.
No motherfucker is going to make a liar out of one of my fans. Fucking no one.
I write a blog on my Live Journal account wondering if Dark Horse is a knowing partner of Garry Way’s charade to game the fans & the retailers or are they unwitting pawns. I was very, very, very angry. Then I got my hands on the My Chemical Romance video interview with all grown up Gerard Way telling people that he wished someone had taken a chance on him & published his comics when he was a teenager, that only someone believed in him enough to publish his work back then.
I’m fucking LIVID watching this & listening to this. I watched it over & over.
Then when Rolling Stone get’s involved, the press goes nuts, my lawyer tells me to shut the fuck up for once and since my wife was recovering from ovarian & cervical cancer, which nearly killed her… and the chemo turned her into a walking skeleton… I mean… I’d go to rub her feet, and there was no meat on the bottom of her foot. It was all bones.
Since the doctors in Japan had told me her cancer was stress related and that too much stress would kill her… I had to shut the fuck up & do my best to keep Waka from reading all the hate mail & hate memes on the web. That didn’t need to happen. Gary could have just owned up to the truth.
Only he didn’t.
Instead of manning up and owning his lies and deceptions, he chose to hide behind a bunch of clueless emo twits and chose to sick his fan base on me… On my wife. Who cried & cried reading this shit. She doesn’t want me to talk about this, she doesn’t want to acknowledge how this puke & the scum bags online got to her, but she was vulnerable back then. I was her only caregiver. The only one. Her family was back in Japan. And I couldn’t stop her with from reading this… I could only shut up, try to let it blow over while I consulted with my lawyers about what to do.
For what Garry Way did to my reputation, to my company and most of all, what he did to my wife… in the midst of her suffering… When I was only speaking the truth. If he wasn’t lying why did he call my office from the middle of his south American tour, when this whole thing blew up, he sure was able to find my number and communicate with me AFTER the truth came out. It didn’t have to go down the way it did. My wife should have been able to focus on recovering from cancer, from never being able to have a baby. But no, this asshole put us through the ringer to save his own pride when caught in a lie.
For that… For what he did to my wife… I hate that motherfucker.
I hate that motherfucker like you cannot even put into words.
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Scourge the Hedgehog: The Bad Fanfic Apotheosis
Y’all are gonna hate me for this one.
This is something of a followup to my previous post, Fiona Fox: Depth vs. Prominence, and inspired directly by the discussion I had with a friend in the comments section of the DA upload of it.
Part 1: Fanfic vs. Canon- Genesis of the Recolour
Elements of the Archie Sonic the Hedgehog comic have long been compared to a bad fanfiction, particularly the parts of the story written by Ken Penders, though other writers like Bollers, Chacon, and Flynn have drawn that label too. I'm one of the people that's done it, and that's largely because I hold fanfic and official material to very different standards. There are certain things you can do in fanfic that you can't do in official material, especially with franchises like Sonic, and especially with more niche parts of said franchise, like a comic series.
Of course, there are also certain things you can do in both, but you probably shouldn't. And Scourge is one of them.
What exactly the process behind Scourge's creation was is something that's been debated. For a lot of people, he's considered to be a parody of the then-rampant "Sonic Recolour" fad, wherein fans would take screenshots of Sonic X, and other official artwork, and then edit it in Microsoft Paint, or another similar program, to create their own characters and stories.
Now, this was long decried by other fans, myself included, as incredibly lacking in creativity and originality. It also had an "Ew, cringe" reaction, due to the often-shoddy editing, text-to-speech voices, and usually some top-tier mid-2000s Nu Metal for the music.
These days, it's much easier to look back and say "These were mostly made by kids who were just having fun, and it's completely harmless", and it becomes apparent that a lot of the people that were making fun of them and criticising them were grown men, at which point you kinda realise that this "internet fad" was basically just bullying a bunch of children for not being up to the creative standards of some adults.
Everybody was looking for the next Chris-Chan, but Chris-Chan is a near-unique entity, as only one other person alive has ever managed to combine that sheer void of talent with a monumentally repulsive personality, and that person is Ken Penders.
But Sonichu is the least interesting thing about Chris, and Chris became the laughingstock that he is because of his inability to avoid posting his entire life on the Internet, which was something of a rarity in those halcyon days before the rise of modern social media. Sonichu was a gateway to the actually interesting content also on his channels, whereas these recolour-creators didn't have anything like that, just endless Windows Movie Maker slideshows. And, like, Chris was in his 20s when he became the Internet's punching bag for the first time, and while he's a horrible person, so were the people that dedicated their time and effort to trolling him- His story is fascinating, but it has no heroes.
And into this collective cocktail of grown men shitting on preteens, so Ian Flynn introduced Scourge the Hedgehog.
Is Scourge a parody of Sonic recolours? I sincerely hope not.
The reason for that is twofold, and I'll discuss how his portrayal generally doesn't seem to be mocking those tropes further down the page, but the second issue with the idea that he is a parody is best explained by Sir Terry.
Parody can never punch down, and as a then-24 year old man writing official canon for a franchise, mocking a bunch of 10 year olds on the Internet for making bad stories would definitely be punching down.
And, as I said, nothing about the way Scourge is written is in any way poking fun at the tropes of these fancharacters and stories. It's pretty much all played completely straight. So not only do I hope Ian wasn't trying to mock these fancharacters, but there's also little reason to believe that he actually was.
He's not a parody, he is a send-up.
And on the one hand, it's kinda nice to throw a bone to those kids. But on the other hand... is Scourge really the character you want to represent your part of the fandom in official material? A cruel, violent, abusive, vicious monster that spends his time palling around with a girlfriend that the writer reforged to be the most unlikable character in the entire comic? Yeah, can't say that's what I'd want if I were one of those people, but he seems to be popular enough, so maybe I'm in the minority there.
But now we get to the meat of the problem.
You see, the way Scourge is written is one of those things that you can do in fanfic, but you shouldn't do in canon.
Part 2: What is a Mary-Sue?
The term "Mary-Sue" gets thrown around a lot these days. It's gradually lost all meaning, and has slowly become a term for "Female character that I don't like," mainly used by whiny, easily-offended Broflake Youtubers, who get all pissy that Star Wars films aren't specifically catering to them, to the point that you only have to make a girl be good at something in a movie and these pissbabies lose their shit.
I liked Episode VII and VIII more than I, II, or VI, get fucked.
But what, then, is a Mary-Sue? And why is it relevant to Scourge?
The answer to that first question is a lot more complicated than it might seem. Not just because there are now several different varieties of the trope, but also because the trope itself evolved as it began to be applied to non-fanworks, and additionally because the name itself is somewhat non-indicative. A male Mary-Sue can exist, though these are normally referred to as "Marty-Stue" or "Gary-Stue", or more cynically "The Protagonist". Check out the average Batman comic these days and you'll see what I mean.
Originally, the term applied only to a self-insert character in a fanfic, that was an overly-idealised version of the author, dramatically overpowered, hugely popular, normally dating whichever member of the cast the author wanted to bone, or sometimes multiple partners at the same time, along with a few other traits. It's actually pre-Internet term, originating in a Star Trek fanzine when "Mary-Sue" was created as a parody of other fans' similar characters.
Over time, the trope evolved to the point that, while the "author avatar" feature is still a pretty big indicator, it's not really necessary. So while there are probably plenty of people out there who want to be Batman, not every character that is a Mary-Sue is someone for the author to project themselves onto, and not every author avatar is a Mary-Sue.
Generally, the important features of a Mary-Sue are now:
1) Receives a great deal of favouritism from the author
2) More powerful than the rest of the cast, often to the point of absurdity
3) Faces zero consequences for their actions.
4) Liked by characters that have no reason to do so
5) In a relationship with a character that has no reason to date them, previous relationships be damned.
6) Most importantly, the story will bend over backwards to give them easy wins, even in situations where they logically should struggle.
You're probably starting to get where I'm going with this, and if you're not...
Part 3: Creator's Pet
Scourge is a Creator's Pet.
He gets shown a fair bit of favouritism from Ian Flynn, primarily the guise of how much focus he gets.
Scourge is the most prolific villain in Ian's run, aside from Eggman himself. While other, better villains like Mogul and Naugus were being imprisoned repeatedly until one retired and the other became a dog, and a huge chunk of the comic's remaining antagonists were being subsumed into the Eggman Empire, Scourge was only moving up, not only being the villain of Ian's first two issues on the book, but continuing to make sporadic appearances for the next twenty issues, before appearing as the new leader of the Destructix under Finitevus in the Enerjak Reborn arc, followed swiftly by a stint as the Big Bad in Bold New Moebius. Does he actually deserve this level of importance? You be the judge, but personally, I don't think so.
Even within those stories, Scourge gets special treatment, the biggest and most obvious being Metal Scourge. Now, personally, I think Metal Scourge was a better character than Scourge himself, but the fact that, of all people, Scourge got a Metal counterpart before anyone else, including Knuckles, who had such a counterpart in the games for over a decade by that point. Especially since, well... Metal and Mettle is a fun story, but it doesn't really do anything for Bold New Moebius as a whole, does it? It's basically pure filler, only really serving to add another dead Metal Sonic to Ian's list and stall the plot out for a bit longer.
And, of course, the most clear indicator of Scourge's favouritism is that he was he first Archie character to receive his own Sonic Universe arc, and the only one to do so without needing two or three SEGA characters also making up the rest of the lead cast.
"Lockdown" isn't a particularly good story, but its existence speaks to not just the insane popularity that such an unworthy character received, but also Archie's willingness to indulge that. Sonic Universe was largely intended to tell stories revolving around the members of the SEGA cast that, for whatever reason, weren't able to regularly appear in the main book. This... frequently got broken, with Sonic, Tails, Sally, Bunnie, Antoine, and Amy all taking centre-stage in the book before obvious candidates like the Chaotix got a look in, some of them twice over, but Scourge was the only time they were willing to try a story based entirely around one of their characters, and they gave it to the already extremely prominent Scourge.
It's pretty clear that Ian loved using this character, and did so as much as possible. YMMV on whether that's good or not.
Part 4: Scourge OP plz nerf
Let's be real, he's overpowered as fuck.
Now, overpowered characters aren't necessarily bad, but it's significantly harder to write an OP character than an on-average one, and Scourge didn't work out so well. From the moment he turns green, he's basically unstoppable. The one time he actually seems to remotely struggle is actually in 161, where he looks ever-so-slightly winded after curbstomping Sonic and Shadow at the same time.
From then on, while he does start to slowly even out with Sonic, he also continues to utterly demolish basically everyone else, especially his easy conquest of Moebius.
It's been suggested that conquering Moebius should be easy, because the big threats are all good, kind people there, but that somewhat ignores that there are anti-versions of the heroes kicking about too. All the (Mostly) benevolent rulers of the Primeverse should be tyrannical despots there, and there are excessively powerful entities like the Anti-versions of Merlin and the Guardians, not to mention whatever horrors Anti-Gerald would've unleashed on the world, and that's without the Suppression Squad themselves. While the comic has generally treated Sonic as being able to stomp the entire rest of the FF, well, who says it has to be a fight?
Why the fuck doesn't Patch just poison him?
I mean, the obvious answer is "Because then Bold New Moebius won't have a main villain", and sometimes contractual villain immortality has to be a thing, but a good writer should be able to avoid putting the characters in that position.
Following on from that, Scourge gets to fight basically the entire FF and Suppression Squad at the same time, (Sonic and Amy are absent and Fiona is on his side), and he's winning until Sonic shows up. Then directly after that is the hedgehog brawl, and despite Sonic managing to get everyone against Scourge, he easily manages to escape and break out his Super form.
Even after spending his time in the No-Zone completely powerless, Scourge manages to break out the moment he gets his powers back, despite the prison being full of characters who should be equally or more powerful than him, and the police force that caught them all, basically unchallenged.
Scourge never faces an actual challenge in the comic. He never struggles, and the one time he actually loses? Ian makes up some new lore on the spot, which is contradictory to SEGA lore from the same year, and then uses that to have Sonic trick Scourge into depowering himself.
Not only does Scourge never struggle with anything, but he also never actually loses a fight.
Part 5: When will you learn, that your actions have consequences?!
Probably never, because Scourge's actions never have consequences.
Throughout his entire run, Scourge gets to go wherever he wants, do what he wants, with or to whomever he wants, and he never has to deal with the fallout of the decisions he makes.
Absorbs the energy of a matter world into his antimatter body? He's better than fine, it only made him stronger. Turns up in Knothole with his secret girlfriend's hated arch rival by his side? Never mentioned again. Blows Fiona's connection to him, costing Finitevus' operation a potential spy in Knothole, where Knuckles is? Not even considered a factor. Ditches Finitevus to go and make Moebius into an egopolis? Finitevus isn't bothered, and supports Fiona's efforts to rescue him later down the line after than plan backfired on him. Blinds Patch in one eye out of jealousy/spite? The guy that poisoned Armand and Max, took a torch to Antoine's personal life, took advantage of Sally's frayed mental state, emotionally damaged Bunnie, and tried to assassinate Elias to get what he wanted lets him get away with it. Openly announces that he's going to destroy both worlds? Conveniently does it when he's alone with Sonic so nobody can tell Fiona what she's letting herself in for.
He eventually does get sent to jail, but he breaks out with ease the next time he turns up.
Because, y'know, that's just what we want to see. Villains never having to deal with karma.
Part 6: What does anyone see in him?
Scourge doesn't quite get the "everyone loves him" treatment, but he still gets a whole lot more respect than he's ever earned.
Both Sonic and Zobotnik are portrayed arbitrarily deciding that maybe there's a shred of good in this monster, and this is the part where I stress that he's abusive again. Maybe if I repeat that enough it'll sink in.
Despite knowing full-well the sort of person Scourge is, Sonic's response to Scourge's crappy cribbing of the "One Bad Day" speech is to try and turn it around and claim that Scourge only needs a tiny bit of decency to be a good person, and this is outright untrue, and given what we see of Scourge later, I'm frankly disgusted that Ian tried to pull this with a character he'll pretty much unambiguously portray as an abuser.
Zobotnik's case is even more baffling. We're introduced to the guy in the Lockdown arc, and it's implied that he's effectively a tyrannical warden, ruling over the No-Zone with an iron fist, taking an almost sadistic delight in punishing the inmates. But yet, for whatever reason, he decides that it's a good idea to try and rehabilitate Scourge, for no adequately established reason.
Even on the other side of the morality line, we have Finitevus, who apparently respects Scourge enough to not just make him leader of the Destructix during the Enerjak Reborn arc, despite him very clearly not being a leader, and not being liked by any of his comrades except Fiona, but then when he promptly ditches the whole plan toward the end, Finitevus apparently decides that he not only wants to get him back, but is willing to go to great lengths and risk losing the only team of mercenaries dumb enough to work for a guy who is quite open about his intentions to "purify the world with Chaos fire" in order to do it.
And speaking of, the most egregious case of this comes again in Lockdown, where the Destructix all end up siding with Scourge. Across the second half of the arc, Scourge learns his new team's backstories, and despite them clearly showing traits and beliefs that should make them respect him less, this somehow works in his favour, and he manages to wrest leadership of the team from Fiona. Especially galling is that it appears that Fiona loses their respect early on because of her faith in Scourge, who to them, looks pathetic, but then they end up supporting him anyway, despite doing nothing to earn it.
But wait, one's missing... Looks like it's that time again.
Part 7: Oh right, he's an abuser.
It's time to talk about Fiona.
Fiona's heel turn is really, really effective at selling you on the idea that Fiona is a vile, cruel, and selfish person. It's a dramatic, "big bang" moment that, in basically a single panel, got an entire fandom to hate a character. Now for some it was more of a "Love to hate" thing, but there are plenty of people out there who just really hate Fiona for this single moment. And when you're introducing a new major villain, maybe that's what you want to accomplish.
What it doesn't do, however, is sell you on her motives for taking that course of action.
Fiona, for the rest of her existence, mainly antagonises Sally, whom she has no worthwhile connection to on either side of her turn, other than being the evil Sally to Scourge's Evil Sonic, and stands around or clings to Scourge's arm, looking smug about her abusive relationship. And yes, it is abusive, verbal abuse is still abuse, and the implications that he's physically abusive are present too. I know this is something that Scourge's fans don't really want to accept, but it's true, and we're going to get into that later. For now, what matters is that this character's run as a villain mainly consists of:
Fiona: "Hey Sugar-Queen, look at how much my boyfriend yells at me and insults me, and probably beats me when he's angry. I make smart decisions and you suck."
We never come to understand why this character, who is so motivated by her belief that everyone will eventually double-cross her that she has decided to start lashing out at people before they can turn on her, is willing to put her faith 100% in someone so repeatedly deceptive that he first approached her by pretending to be someone else.
Like, in terms of bad first impressions, that's up there with arriving at a job interview in full clown regalia.
The comic makes no effort to show why these characters like each other. Scourge allegedly likes her because she chooses to turn evil and join him, rather than being born evil, but this clashes with not only the fact that Fiona is a genuinely good person before this, who makes a solid effort to stay loyal to her friends first, and is lured into villainy by him, but also the fact that she blames everyone but herself for her current situation, but especially with the fact that all of the foreshadowing for Fiona turning evil consists of people not trusting her because she has a shady history. Scourge claims to appreciate that Fiona is a good person that chooses to be evil, but the narrative has a clear message of "If you started evil, it doesn't matter if you try to become good, you will always revert to type."
Which isn't exactly a good message, Ian.
In return, all we get from Fiona's side is that Scourge "has no expectations of her and just wants to have fun", which clashes entirely with how we see them interact in subsequent arcs, where Fiona frequently looks disturbed or apprehensive, or just bored, while Scourge yells at her and threatens her for not meeting his standards.
Seriously, why do people ship this?
But okay, okay. Scourge is a good liar, and Fiona's established paranoia and history do make her vulnerable to manipulators like him, so maybe she falls for his lies and gets taken for a ride. That could happen, sure. Doesn't really explain why she becomes a horrendous person all of a sudden, but whatever. Maybe he convinced her to do it as a sort of hazing, and a means of ensuring she couldn't go back. That fits with his abusive nature (You might also notice that this the explanation I used in Revival).
But why does she stay? And why does she refuse every out she's given?
Why, after everything that pulled her to his side has turned out to be bullshit, does she remain devoted to him? Now, you can argue that due to the abuse and the manipulation she's suffered, she believes she has to stay with him, and that's a fair shout, but her appearance in Journey to the East is kind of a stumbling block for that theory, because we're shown a Fiona who is fully capable of functioning without him, and even after making efforts to establish herself... the next time we see her she's gone back for him.
And now... well, it's time to talk about that "A" word I've been bringing up a lot in this section.
Scourge is abusive. I've frequently referenced that he verbally abuses Fiona every time she displeases him across the book, but the most telling scene is this one from Issue 190.
"You do not want to be sent back with me."
Translation: "If I get sent back, and you're sent back too, I'm going to beat the shit out of you."
Fiona (With her invisible left arm) isn't excluded from this threat. Fiona isn't surprised by this threat either. Nor does she not take the threat seriously. She looks like she's expecting to be struck.
He beats her.
And please, nobody say that "he's just angry", that's apologism.
Now, I dunno if this was in the script, or if Fiona's face was something Yardley did on his own, but given that this arc ends with Super Scourge announcing his intention to destroy both Mobius and Moebius, simply because he can, regardless of the collateral, I'm willing to bet that this relationship wasn't a happy, stable one.
But, unfortunately, this element was never made clear enough. Now, your mileage may vary on whether you think Sonic the Hedgehog comics are the appropriate place to discuss abusive relationships or not, but we've got one now, and Ian dropped the ball. This wasn't a Joker/Harley, where the pairing was clearly abusive but also sold DC/Warner millions of dollars worth of merch, this wasn't a RWBY, where Adam took three years to show up and had already won a huge number of fans from his admittedly cool design and powers, so people already liked him before they even knew what his personality was like.
Ian had full control over this, no merch to worry about, and Scourge's prolific appearances gave him plenty of opportunity to make it clear that this was an ugly, repulsive thing that Fiona needed to get out of ASAP. And he didn't. Because panels like this, and all the yelling, clearly weren't enough for the fandom. No, you point this detail out to them and they'll make excuses, try to pretend it didn't happen, or just get offended, or worst of all, outright say they don't care and still ship it.
We have fanartists who became real official artists creating stories where this garbage-fire pairing is used for sad feels, not because Fiona got stuck in a relationship with a controlling, violent monster, but because oh no they really loved each other and now Fiona's dead isn't it tragic don't you feel sorry for Scourge?
No. No I don't. I feel sorry for the thousands of teenagers who support an abusive relationship because Ian was too cowardly to make it clear that the relationship in question was just that.
Now, do I think that Ian is an intentional abuse apologist? No. Do I think he wimped out of taking the necessary steps to make it clear that this was bad because he didn't want people to dislike his shitty pet villain? Oh yeah, I do.
Scourge's reputation was more important to Flynn than appropriately and sensitively portraying a destructive, damaging relationship between a woman and her monstrous partner.
Well, I say "Woman", let's not forget that Fiona was meant to be sixteen, and realistically if you take her timeline into account she's more likely to be about fourteen.
Real fucking classy.
Part 8: Effort? What effort?
So, now we get to our final criteria. And frankly, it's the easiest one to cover.
From the moment, Scourge turns green, his life becomes a cakewalk. Everything he ever wants is handed to him with zero actual struggle on his part.
Wants to be stronger than Sonic? He is. Zero side-effects to using a Chaos energy form from a mirror universe, or having a Super transformation interrupted, he just seemingly gets to be half-Super forever. Wants another leg-up on Sonic? Here's Fiona, sans personality. Sonic says he's just a lame ripoff of himself? He conquered a planet in a week, look at how cool he is. Also his team all roll over and make him their leader even though they hate him and they could easily kill him. He gets to walk through the entire FF/Squad teamup, and the Hedgehog teamup, and then when he gets to the No-Zone, Zobotnik, who has kept far smarter and more dangerous characters locked up for decades arbitrarily decides to reform him and gets completely suckered by him. The Destructix fully throw in with him, despite him never actually earning their respect.
He never loses a fight where he wasn't depowered first.
You know what the irony of this is? Ian has a character whom he is contractually obligated to never have lose for longer than an issue or two. And honestly, he wasn't awful at disguising that. Sonic gets a few wins that feel too easy, but for the most part, the issues with this rule mainly manifest in Sonic's limp responses to the tragedies happening around him, and a sprinkling of minor failures and pyrrhic victories ensure that the rule looks more like shoddy writing in a few places unless you're explicitly told about it. And even then, he still manages to make it look like Sonic struggles to attain those victories, that he has to actually put his back into it every time. He is challenged. Scourge isn't allowed to be challenged.
That's the irony. Ian has a protagonist who he is not allowed to have lose, and Sonic still manages to be avoid looking like a boring invincible hero, while Scourge just never faces anything that can actually pose a threat to him.
Powerful opponents crumple before him. Characters' personalities and development shift to suit his needs. The plot warps to benefit him. Because heaven forbid Scourge actually have to work for his wins. Who needs stakes when you can have the writer on your side!
Part 9: In summation...
I think you should've all twigged where this is going by now, so let's wrap up.
1) Does Scourge receive a great deal of favouritism from the author? Yes.
2) Is Scourge more powerful than the rest of the cast, often to the point of absurdity? Yes.
3) Does Scourge face zero consequences for his actions? Yes.
4) Is Scourge liked or respected by characters that have no reason to do so? Yes.
5) Is Scourge in a relationship with a character that has no reason to date him? Yes.
6) Most importantly, does the story will bend over backwards to give Scourge easy wins, even in situations where he logically should struggle? Yes.
According to these criteria, Scourge the Hedgehog is almost a textbook example of a Mary-Sue. Which is probably why something as disgusting as him got away with so much.
I guess, then, that his role in Revival, and a lot of the stuff before that, is the unfortunate reality of a Mary-Sue who suddenly has to deal with the fact that they're no longer getting that special treatment from the writer. That now their actions have consequences, that now the universe doesn't shape itself to their desires.
#Sonic the Hedgehog#Archie Sonic#Ian Flynn#Scourge the Hedgehog#Fiona Fox#Evil Sonic#Critical#CW: Abuse#TW: Abuse
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Just For You | Werewolf!Shawn Oneshot
Words: 3,100
| Masterlist |
The party raging below you sends vibrations through your chest. The music was loud, the people even louder. It was new years eve and everyone was getting a bit crazy. Not you though. You were holed up in your friend’s attic, sipping on a rum and coke while watching Shawn roll out his sleeping bag on the floor. Shawn was staying the night, as were you. Your friend Amber who was hosting the party, insisted that nobody who drove there would drive home if they had alcohol. So she confiscated keys as soon as anyone walked in, and told them to go set up a place to sleep upstairs. Amber was always the mother of your friend group and honestly it was needed. Some of your friends got a little rowdy.
But back to Shawn. The two of you had known each other for years, since junior year of high school at least. Shawn was always a bit of a bad boy and got himself into rather difficult situations. The friends he hung out with outside of your group were troublemakers and delinquents. You were sure the only reason he ever hung out with them was because they were all werewolves like him. Maybe he felt included, more at home than with his human friends. You might never know.
What you did know though was that every time he was around, your heart went wild. Beating like a drum in a parade when he spoke to you. It threatened to explode when he looked at you. It had been like that for as long as you could remember but you never had the gall to act on it. If your parents found out you were involved with the likes of him, they’d probably cut off your finances. Even though you were twenty one, they still provided much of your income while you were at college. But sometimes...sometimes it was almost too tempting to say fuck all that and go for Shawn’s attention. It was especially hard when he was smirking at you and calling you cute, toying with your hair and telling you that you had beautiful eyes. It was even harder when he wasn’t flirting, when he was being genuinely sweet and caring. He was a werewolf with a silver tongue, what an irony.
Shawn tosses his pillow onto his sleeping bag and turns to you. Those golden eyes trapping you, sticking you in place like the honey they seemed to be made out of. He saunters over, captain confidence, as he squats down in front of you and takes the red solo cup from your hands. He swallows back the rest of your drink and then looks into the cup with a smile. “Oh no, your drink is gone. Guess you’ll have to come downstairs with me and get a new one,” he says and grabs your arm, hauling you up with him as he stands.
“Shawn!” you laugh and he puts his arm around your neck, holding you close.
“Lighten up. Have fun or I’ll have to babysit you all night. Do you want that?” he asks as he walks you up to the bar that’s set up on the kitchen island. He walks you back against the cold countertop and your hands fumble for the edge, fingers gripping the cold granite. “You wanna be with me all night?” he asks, voice but a whisper against your ear as he reaches around you for a bottle on the counter.
“I-I don’t think-”
“Don’t think your daddy would approve?” Shawn smirks. He knew full well that your parents didn’t like him or his other friends. Hell, they always asked if he was going to be at any function you went to with your friends, they were that concerned about his bad decisions rubbing off on you. It was a bit ridiculous. Shawn wasn’t that bad and you were an adult after all. They didn’t see it like that though. “I bet your daddy wouldn’t approve of this either.” Shawn brings the bottle he grabbed up to your mouth and says, “Open.”
You open your mouth and he pours a quick shot of a fruity flavored cream liqueur. Strawberry, or maybe mixed berry, you can’t be sure. It’s good and it goes down easy. “He’d never approve of that,” you smile, licking your lip to catch a drop that landed there. “He hates the idea of me drinking even though I’m plenty old enough.”
Shawn sets the bottle down and looks back where someone has called his name. “Oh one sec!” he calls to them and turns back to you. That sparkle of mischief in his eye should have been setting off every warning bell in your head but it wasn’t. No, it was just turning you on. “I’ll find you later okay? Promise you’ll have fun and loosen up.” He grabs your shoulders and squeezes a bit before turning to go meet his friend on the other side of the kitchen.
You make eye contact with Amber as soon as Shawn walks away and she raises her eyebrows at you. You say nothing and roll your eyes before turning around to make yourself a strong drink. There was no way you were going to be able to handle Shawn being as bold as he was tonight if you were sober.
Hours pass and you don’t hear from Shawn again. You’re not sure where he and his friends went but someone said something about them taking off on some dirt bikes earlier. Of course that didn’t mean anything good would come out of what they were doing. Dirt bikes meant a quick get away or late night racing in town. At least that’s what you had been told by your friend Jen who was dating Matt, one of Shawn’s unsavory friends.
The clock ticks closer to midnight and the party gets wilder, louder, more rambunctious. Everyone is watching the TV anxiously waiting for the ball to start dropping while simultaneously dancing and drinking. When it does start to drop you’re sitting on the sofa, wedged into the corner by a couple of people making out as the new year is rung in around you.
You’re three mixed drinks and a couple of glasses of the punch someone made down and you were feeling pretty claustrophobic in the cramped house. You had to get out so you step out on to the front porch for some air. It’s crowded too. You take a few steps down and look back into the house and shake your head, you should be fine going for a short walk without telling Amber. She wouldn’t notice you were gone for a minute or two.
The air is chilly as you walk down the sidewalk toward the corner that went toward the park a block or two away. There aren’t but maybe three other people outside in the neighborhood and you’re thankful there isn’t a bunch of party goers stumbling around like other parties you had been to on new years and the fourth of july. You wrap your arms around yourself and head to the park to take a seat for a few minutes. Just as you cross the street half a dozen dirt bikes zip down the street and turn toward the house. You can’t help but wonder if it was Shawn and his friends or someone else. Most likely it was Shawn. But you were mad at him right now. He hadn’t come back in hours. Now he would have to wait to see you.
The swing set is cold and creaky as you sit on the bowed plastic seat. Your hands are freezing and you wish you had thought to bring gloves and maybe a heavier coat. It was god damn cold out. It’s honestly too cold and you decide not to stay for long. Getting up, you see a couple people walking down the street the way you came and they’re stumbling, laughing and talking too loudly. You really don’t wanna deal with them so you go ahead and take the tree lined path that runs between the backyards of the houses in the area. The path was an old creek bed that’s long since dried up and grown over with trees and other plant life. Since it was January, you figured it wouldn’t be too bad to walk through and then cut across the fence to Amber’s house.
Turns out, bad idea. About two houses in and you look back to see someone following you. Weather it was intentional or someone just taking the same path you couldn’t be sure. But something just felt wrong. It felt like they were following you. You pick up the pace and try not to let it get to you.
Two more houses pass and you look back, they’ve gained on you and they’re only about a house away from you now. Swallowing hard, you decide to run instead of walk. If the person was following you then they would run too. If they weren’t, they would keep walking and think you were a weirdo in a hurry to get somewhere. The moment you start running you hear footsteps pick up behind you.
Now shaking, heart racing not from just running, you don’t dare look back again. You look at Amber’s house at the end of the old creek bed. The lights show through the trees and you can almost hear the music from where you are. Scared and unsure of what to do you start screaming for Shawn. You knew if he was there he would hear you. His hearing was incredible, far better than a human’s.
A few feet more and you could hear something in front of you getting closer now. Branches and leaves snapping and crunching under the weight of it. You pray it’s Shawn, or anyone who can help you. You are so scared it’s not even funny. It’s not but minute after you hear the approaching person that you see a huge wolf jump at you. You’re sure it’s going to hit you but it doesn’t and you skid to a halt, colliding gently into a warm body. It’s Shawn.
“What’s wrong?” Shawn asks, hands coming up to your flushed face. “Why are you running and screaming?”
“There was a guy,” you wheeze, pointing behind you. “Following me. He was, he was running when I ran.” You push your hair back as you look around. There is no trace of anyone behind you. “I swear he was just there. I heard footsteps.”
Shawn looks out into the trees and shakes his head. “I don’t see anyone out there. Are you sure? How much did you drink?”
“Shawn, I promise you someone was there!” you cry and Shawn pulls you into a hug and you lean your head against his chest. “Someone was there. I swear I heard them, I saw them.”
“Alright, alright. I’ll go check it out, just come back to the house with me.”
You and Shawn walk the short remaining distance to the house with his arm around you. He lifts you over the fence to the backyard then hauls himself over it with ease. He walks you all the way into the house and up to the attic where there is your friend Aaron is the only one in here, asleep in his sleeping bag on the far end of the room.
Shawn sits you down on your sleeping area and gets you a bottle of water from the kitchen. He puts his hand on your forehead and then your cheek. Both are warm he says. He asks you what you drank again and you tell him exactly what you had. He asked if you felt dizzy or if you had seen anything else weird. You tell him no over and over again. You’re sure you didn’t imagine the person following you, that you weren’t drunk enough to be hallucinating.
“Take it easy. Stay up here until I come back okay? I’m going to go see if I can figure out who was following you,” Shawn says and hands you the water bottle he’d gotten for you before leaving the attic.
As soon as Shawn is gone you lay down and close your eyes but you can’t sleep. Every little noise makes you jump, your nerves on edge. You were starting to question whether or not you had actually seen someone. Maybe you did have too much to drink.
You didn’t realize you had fallen asleep because when you wake up Shawn is laying beside you, his arm over your middle, face tucked into your neck, you’re a little shocked. The whole house was silent, the party long over. Sunlight was starting to creep in through the window at the end of the room. It cast a stream of golden light over Shawn’s face and down his back. He looked incredible. So innocent and soft as he slept.
“What did you find last night?” you asks as he stirs awake.
“Drunk idiot,” Shawn mumbles, fingers flexing against your stomach. “I took care of it.”
“You didn’t hurt him did you?”
Shawn opens his eyes. They’re so golden and captivating. His fangs protruding a bit, making his mouth look kind of full and strange. He’d let his guard down, allowed himself to shift slightly while he slept. Allowed himself to be vulnerable. You reach out to touch his lips and he nips at your finger playfully, a smirk spreading across his sleepy face. “I didn’t hurt him. I think he was trying to get back to the party and followed you because he thought you were going back too.”
“Oh.”
There’s a moment of silence where you and Shawn just look at each other in the soft morning light. His eyes fade to their usual brown and his fangs return to normal. Shawn slides his hand off your stomach and brushes your sleep mussed hair away from your face. “You’re so pretty,” he mumbles, eyes going to your mouth and back to your eyes.
“Shawn, don’t start,” you whisper, knowing that if he started doing the thing where he was soft and sweet to you that you weren’t going to be able resist him anymore. He’d done this once before when you were on a trip to a concert with him and some friends. It fucked your feelings up big time then and it was doing it now.
“I’m sorry I’m not good enough for you,” he mumbles, fingers falling from your face. God you couldn’t take his voice sounding like that. Sure he was going to be soft and sweet now, but what about later? What about after this moment?
“It’s not that you’re not good enough. It’s the choices you make that make me stay away.”
Shawn rolls over onto his back, arm over his eyes. “I know I’m not the best person sometimes, and I do stupid shit with my friends, but I want you. I want you so bad.”
“You just wanna get laid,” you chuckle softly and he peeks at you from under his arm.
“If I just wanted to get laid I could get any girl if I tried hard enough. I don’t wanna just sleep with you. You’re the kind of girl I want to hold, to cuddle, to cook with. The kind I want to come home to from work at night and rest my head on your stomach while you pet my hair. You’re the kind of girl I wanna settle down with, the girl I call mine. I want you to be my girl.” He grips his tee shirt and sighs heavily.
You sit up and remain silent. His confession was a lot to take in. Never in your wildest dreams did you think Shawn; the guy who raced dirt bikes and started fights, the guy who teased you any chance he got, would be lying here beside you pouring his heart out. “Why do you tease me then? Why do you always make it seem like you want in my pants?” you ask after a minute or two.
“It’s easier to put on an air of cocky confidence.” He lifts his arm off his face and looks up at you. “I know you like me. I know you keep yourself distant because you don’t want to get in trouble. I know sometimes you think about saying fuck it all and taking me up on my flirty suggestions. It’s too fun not to see you all worked up.”
“Shut up,” you mumble, cheeks turning scarlet.
“But it’s true right?”
“Yeah but I just can’t be with you.”
Shawn sits up and runs a hand through his hair. “Is it because I’m a werewolf?”
“No,” you chuckle. “It’s because my parents think you’re bad news and you’re going to get me in trouble. If you had just never started hanging out with Matt and those guys then things would be different.”
“What if I hang out with them less?”
You roll your eyes and flop back onto your pillow. “Shawn, you’re being ridiculous. You can’t seriously be implying that you’d stop hanging out with your friends just to date me.”
Shawn lays back down beside you and rolls against you, hand sliding under your shirt and making you shiver at the touch. His warm fingers begin tracing little patterns into your stomach skin. “What if I was implying that? What if I became a good boy for you?”
“Shawnnnn,” you groan and he slides his hand over your back and pulls you close so you’re face to face with him on your side. “I couldn’t ask you to do that.”
“I’m not asking you to ask me to do it. I wanna do it because you make me happy and I wanna make you happy.”
“Alright, fine. I’ll go out with you. One date and we’ll see how it goes.”
“Three dates.”
“One date.”
Shawn rubs up and down your back and you lean your chest into his. “Two dates,” you say and he presses his forehead to yours. “Two dates with you on your best behaviour.”
“Promise I’ll be a good boy just for you.”
#shawn mendes fluff#shawn mendes oneshot#shawn mendes fic#Shawn Mendes Imagine#shawn mendes#shawn mendes writing#oneshot#oneshots#just for you
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Nepenthe - Steve Rogers x Reader (Part I)
Request: Hello!! Could I possibly request a Steve x reader imagine where the reader is younger than him? (Well, anyone would be younger than him). So maybe she is around twenty with a tragic background and she is the one who has been helping him adjust and then she helps him with the whole Bucky thing and they kinda end up together somehow. She is a SHIELD agent. (Something like a timeline from the moment he was revived up until whenever you want). I don't know if it made sense, sorry. Thank you so much.
Nepenthe: Something or someone that can make you forget grief or suffering. Safe heaven.
Warnings: My English, language, gifs aren't mine. Credits to their original owners. Also, it deviates from the movies at some points but it’s pretty close. A second(better) part is already planned.
Word Count~7.5k
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Pending Requests
It wasn't something new. You should have gotten used it. It wasn't the first time you had woken up in the middle of the night with your breath stolen from you and it would definitely not be the last one.
You didn't want to think of your past but every single time you thought you had put it to sleep, that fucking thing popped up unexpectedly and messed with your mind.
You had gone through so much and even more. Not even Fury knew exactly what. He had a clearer picture than all of the others but he didn't even dare to ask.
Your past had left you with so many scars, fears and nightmares that you tried every day to fight off. Some days you would win, some days you would lose. What mattered most was that you never gave up. It was exhausting but you would never surrender to them. You were stronger than that. Not unbreakable, but strong enough to know that there was hope. And to believe it would get better.
The first time you had been brought to SHIELD, you were eighteen years old. You had no relatives at all, no way to live on your own, no chance of survival. You didn't have a choice, really, but what they were offering was appealing in a way that made you think you had a chance. To begin again. That's why you didn't even hesitate.
You were the youngest agent but your progress was rather dynamic. Two years and many training sessions and missions later, you were a level eight. No one ever expected you to achieve so much within so little time. You didn't want yo admit it since your past made you eager to move forward, but it had helped you a lot. All the training you had undergone when you were captured by the Red Room and the missions you were sent to execute while you were under Hydra's capture had made you strong and lethal; you would barely blink an eye when you had to pull the trigger or to split someone's throat open. You used to follow orders blindly, without question because that would have gotten you killed.
However, you had noticed that lately... Something felt off.
A knock on your door alerted you and you immediately shot up and got off of your bed, putting on a jumper two sizes too big and your sneakers.
You opened the door, knowing that whatever had just happened must have been important. Otherwise, they wouldn't wake you up at three in the morning.
"Director Fury is demanding your presence in the Triskelion. You have ten minutes" a guard informed you and you just nodded.
You had ten minutes to get ready.
When you arrived -when the helicarrier arrived- you were rushed to Fury's office. Some other people were there along with Natasha, Clint, and Maria. Nobody seemed to know why they were there. Until Fury spilled the beans.
"Captain America, folks. Alive and frozen". Wait. What? Captain America? The Captain America? But that was impossible. He lived, what, seventy years ago? And he had died when he crushed that ..thing directly into the... ice. Oh, Dear Lord.
You couldn't hear much because man, he was alive. He has been frozen for seventy years and now they want to revive him? How hard would it be for him to adjust? 'How awful must it feels to know that all of the people you cared about are dead and you are still here, not aged a day, trying to move on?' you thought to yourself. You would never let someone see your soft side because that was a weakness.
Emotions clouded judgment. They were a distraction from your goal.
"And I want you to help him adjust" Fury said a little louder than necessary, just to get your attention. And he was pointing at you. You would have to babysit him. You nodded and when you turned to face agent Coulson, you saw him glowing with excitement. Everyone knew that Phil was enchanted by the mighty hero. You arched you perfectly shaped eyebrow at him but if you wanted to be honest you had to admit that his story was actually tragically enchanting.
People started moving towards different directions but you just stood there, unable to move so much as a muscle. Your mind was flooding you with your memories. All the tragedy that you had suffered. All the pain and the agony. And how... Guilty you felt once you escaped. Because you hadn't been able to save anyone else. Just yourself.
And that was going to be exactly what he will face as well.
"Come on, Y/N" Natasha spoke softly as she guided you by your arm. Natasha could understand your pain but only a part. She knew the Red Room and what it felt like to enter a child and leave an adult. When she had learned that you had escaped when you were only fourteen, she was jealous because you had been given the chance that was taken away from her. But then she found out that you had been recaptured by Hydra. She hated herself for ever feeling jealous in the first place. The Red Room was one thing. Hydra... Was another.
Once your mind returned to reality, you saw that you were already inside a room. And he was lying on a surface, face pale, eyes closed, lips purple.
You tilted your head to the side. Something about his features felt unbelievably intriguing. Agonizingly, perfectly still.
He was unconscious but everything about him screamed alive. You tried to listen to Fury as he instructed everyone. They would pretend that it was still the 40s. Something that you thought of as hypocritical, to say the least. Why did they think that he would believe it? He clearly was smarter than that if the stories were true. You stopped paying attention to his words as you took in the picture in front of you.
It was going to be one hell of a ride.
You didn't exactly remember if it had been a month or more, but Captain America was back.
And you had been right. He didn't believe it for a second. You felt low-key proud. Your job was mainly to keep an eye on him, but you weren't his shadow. He needed space and time to be aware of his surroundings and the new era he had woken up.
You had officially met him the very first day he was revived-after the fiasco. Even though you could feel his uncertainty and his worries, and you would definitely understand it if he was rude to you, he surprised the hell out of you when he politely introduced himself and called you ma'am. That sweet Brooklyn accent and his manners… Killer combination.
He also appreciated the fact that you gave him his space. He would occasionally be annoyed by the other agents that took your place when you had to go out on the field. They weren't discreet nor quiet. He would never admit it but he had grown used to your presence around the place. It was somehow reassuring. Especially after seeing you training. He was impressed, afraid and awed.
However, things made it difficult for you to keep your distance and let him adjust easier.
When Fury told you about the Tesseract, you knew that he needed Steve and that he was recruiting a team. You also knew that he didn't tell you everything but you didn't push it. You would find out in a different way.
He was punching and kicking the hell out of that punching bag until it crashed into the wall across the room. You were aware that he was strong but that seemed a bit maniac.
"Trouble sleeping?" Fury asked him rhetorically and you felt the need to arch an eyebrow, but you fought against it.
"I slept for seventy years, sir. I think I've had my fill" he answered and even though he was being sassy he was still polite.
'Then you should be out, celebrating, seeing the world" Fury continued as you both made your way to him. You felt bad for the punching bag.
He stopped and walked over to his things as he nodded, acknowledging you. You sent him a small smile, something that you had been doing a lot more recently. And Natasha had noticed.
After a whole bunch of dramatic, Fury handed him the file with the information he needed to know.
"Trying to get me back in the world?" he almost spat out, darkness creeping up into his voice.
"Trying to get you to save it" you popped up before things got out of hand. His expression softened and when he looked at you, he saw nothing more than a person being honest with him. And he liked that.
And you liked him.
Wait. What?
"I gotta say, it's an honor to meet you, officially. I sort of met you, I mean, I watched you while you were sleeping" Phil was rambling again. His crazy obsession had taken over. You simply gave Steve an apologetic smile but you felt that your whole world brightened when he blushed.
There was no use denying the fact that he was handsome. But there was something more than plain looks. He was charming and charismatic.
"I mean, I was present while you were unconscious from the ice. You know, it's really, it's just a huge honor to have you on board" Phil continued. Steve was looking at him with amusement. You were drooling over him.
You had caught yourself thinking about him more than once mainly because you had bonded over dinner.
It was Monday and it sucked. You have had a particularly difficult day and your body felt sore. A shiver was trailing through your muscles and you just wanted comfort as you were drained of energy.
You wondered around in hopes that you would find something to eat and a fluffy cozy blanket. But plans changed. They became so much better. You made a beeline to the kitchen only to realize that nothing was eatable.
You began to cook spaghetti and prepare a really spicy sauce with chili.
Working with your hands and not your brain was refreshing and appealing. You even found yourself humming a soft song. You remembered that there was a bottle of red wine hidden somewhere in the kitchen. Why not?
The dinner was ready within no time. You placed your plate on the table and you poured a generous portion of wine into your glass and you were ready to sit down but Steve walked in. You didn't want to make him feel awkward and honestly, you liked his company.
"Hungry?" you gently asked him, a bright smile on your lips. He was taken aback and he tried to say no in a polite way but is stomach said otherwise. He blushed and sighed.
"Starving" he admitted and blushed even more. He was so adorable and sexy. How can you be both at the same time?
You added a plate and a glass, after seeking confirmation from him. You didn't know if wanted to drink. As you would find out later, he couldn't get drunk, just lightheaded.
He sat down next to you and you could smell his scent all over the place. It was a bit disorienting.
He was hesitant to taste the food because he thought that you were too young to know how to cook and fight at the same time. He genuinely thought that you were too young but he was forgetting it a lot. However, he was pleasantly surprised.
"This is good. Like, really good!" he told you beaming and you laughed. He was just like a child. You didn't know this but he became determined to make you laugh again.
That night was only the beginning.
"Well, I hope I'm the man for the job" he quietly said. Phil was about to say something but you cut him off.
"You are" you simply yet boldly answered him, without leaving him any room for self-doubt.
His eyes pierced yours and nothing felt the same.
"Can you? Can you wipe off your past? Do you remember them? Do they let you sleep at night? Barton told me everything. Your ledger is dripping, it's gushing red, and you think saving the life of a man no more virtuous than yourself will change anything? This is the basest sentimentality. This is a child at prayer; pathetic! You lie and kill in the service of liars and killers. You pretend to be separate, to have your own code, something that makes up for the horrors, but they are a part of you, and they will never go away" he said, slamming his fist against the glass. You knew that this was just a plan. You knew that what he meant was to simply scare you. You knew that he wanted to unleash the Hulk. But it hurt, nonetheless. Mainly because he was right. You had killed and tortured and captured innocent people. It took everything in you to remember that it wasn't you.
'Yes. But I still did it' you thought.
And most importantly... Now he knew. He would hate you. How could he not?
He was a hero and you were an assassin.
You didn't care about the others, not that much at least. You had out-sassed Stark and you were quite gentle with Natasha's new love interest. Thor... He was a God. He could handle it. But him... He was Captain America for fuck's sake.
You did what you were told but when you returned to the lab, you were welcomed by six people fighting each other... And a gun?
So that was why SHIELD wanted the Tesseract. New guns.
"Congratulations. You out topped Hydra" you sarcastically told Fury. He was being just as dishonest and manipulative as your previous captures. Guess, you exchanged Hydra and the Red Room for SHIELD. They were all the same. Seeking profit for themselves.
Steve looked at you, eyes on fire.
"You didn't know?" he asked you in a provocative tone but you refused to give in.
"I wouldn't be here if I did" you simply answered him. No sarcasm, no irony. You truly wanted him to know that you had no idea and you were definitely not supporting any of it.
He seemed to realize that you would have never agreed on something like this, given your past. Because he knew. He had read your file, he had asked Fury-multiple times- and he had done his research on you. He was actually kind of surprised -not in a good way- that you were only twenty yet you had been through all that. You were just a child when the Red Room got you. He came to hate them for what they had made you do. And Hydra of course. But he had another reason to hate Hydra as well. His best friend. Zola and the red skull had killed him.. And suddenly he was back on that Train.
He snapped out of it. But your eyes were still locked with his. And you couldn't avert them.
You had survived the Chitauri invasion. You had all gotten out of that nightmare alive. Not completely alright but safe.
"I think I would like a break" you admitted, tilting your head so you could see his face against the blinding light of the afternoon sun. He smiled, and you realized that the sun wasn't bright enough.
"I think I might join you" he said amused. He wasn't usually this bold, but you loved it when he was. It was like a completely different side of his personality.
You stood there watching Thor and Loki teleporting back to Asgard with the Tesseract before everyone said their goodbyes.
You were no longer a SHIELD agent per se but not quite an Avenger as the group was being called. You had stopped taking orders without questioning them. You had also come clean with Steve about your past as you told him everything, things nobody else knew, things you wished to forget. And he was okay with that. He didn't criticize you or hated you.
He was starting his motorcycle when he furrowed his eyebrows and turned his head to look at you.
"Hop on" he told you and you couldn't hide your smile. You didn't question him or his impatient request.
"Yes, Captain" you playfully answered as you sat down behind him and hugged his waist tightly, spreading your fingers out, gripping his shirt.
You could feel his toned torso, his muscles tensing for a brief second. You could feel his heart beating steadily. A big smile was carved on your lips.
He could feel your legs almost wrapped around him, your hands holding him close, your chest against his back, your breath fanning over his neck. He tried to remind himself that you were just twenty years old. But did it really matter?
There was a dim light illuminating the room making everything appear still.
You slowly awoke from your sleep. It had been a peaceful night; no nightmares, no memories hunting you, no screams. Your right hand was rested upon Steve's chest. Your eyes flickered open when you realized that he was shirtless.
You found his apologetic gaze already fixed on you but there was a lighthearted smile plastered on his full lips.
‘’Hey...’’ your sleepy voice trailed off before your eyes closed once more, causing Steve to chuckle at the sight. This was normal. You had been sleeping in the same bed with Steve since the first night after New York. You were both too scared to be left alone with your minds. So, when you had slowly opened the door of his room and crept in, you had found a terrified Steve. You had never seen him that afraid. You hadn't given it much thought when you had climbed οnto his bed and hugged him tightly. And he had hugged you back, holding onto you for dear life.
You didn't know where you two stood exactly. Like, what were you to him? His friend? But friends didn't sleep in one bed, friends didn't hug each other as much as you did, their touches wouldn't linger on for moments after... Friends didn't get that tingling sensation whenever the other's hand would brush against your own accidentally.
You could safely say that he wasn't just your friend. You had developed feelings for him-feelings that ran deeper than blood, feelings you knew you weren't supposed to catch for someone that much older. But then again... He didn't seem to treat you any differently than the others, right?
Hugging you tightly and cuddling you to sleep wasn't something that he wouldn't do for someone else. Treating you with breakfast in bed, was something anyone would do. Cooking with you, getting not-drunk with you, running a hot bath for you, carrying you when you were too tired or sleepy to function... For fuck's sake. It was his fault that you were in love with him.
Hold it.
What now?
And there he was, looking all heaven sent in the soft light of the new day, making it hard for you to breathe. The way the light danced around his blonde hair, how golden strands fell to his eyes... His eyes. Those blue orbits that felt deeper than the ocean itself and seemed to change colors; from baby to royal blue. You have had the pleasure to witness his eyes becoming cobalt blue once. In your mind, you were the reason why his eyes darkened.
And those lips... Perfectly shaped, full, plump and pouty that made you wonder how would they taste.
You could go on and on about his appearance but what had won you over was his personality. He was gentle yet bold, soft yet fierce, polite yet daring. He did what he thought was better for everyone, not just him. He never considered himself a hero. He disliked being called that. In his mind, he was a person out of time. Not even Peggy could help. He had admitted that she was half the reason he joined SHIELD but then he thought about the other half. You didn't know this, but his mind wandered back to the very first time he had met you.
"Goodmorning, doll" he breathed out. You felt like melting under his tender touch, as he had his arm wrapped around you, and you wanted to catch fire when he called you that. It wasn't something sexual, but it worked miracles.
When you didn't move, he let out a breathy chuckle and draw small patterns with his fingers on your exposed thigh. You understood that it was unintentional, but you couldn't stop your heartbeat from accelerating.
"Five more minutes" you husked, your voice thick and throaty. It sent shivers down his spine.
"I could lay here all day long" he admitted under his breath. You heard it, but you had fallen asleep before you could answer.
He stayed awake. He didn't dare to close his eyes.
"You know, if you ask Kristen out, from Statistics, she'd probably say yes" Natasha told him and you felt your blood boiling. If that her way to piss you off... She was successful.
"That's why I don't ask" Steve answered calmly and certain.
"Too shy or too scared?" she pressed further. You wanted to slap her. What was she doing?
You didn't stay around to catch his answer because you jumped out of the jet.
Your mind was clouded and your judgment not on point.
Of course. He was ten years older than you, extremely good-looking and single. He should date. Not her. Not any other girl.
You landed on the ship and moments later Steve climbed on too.
He beat up everyone on the deck (other times using his shield and other times with his hands but mostly mustering both) before somebody could raise the alarm but he was interrupted by one of the pirates pointing his gun at him.
Without thinking about it too much, you removed yourself from your hiding place and shot him down.
Steve gave you an amusing look.
"Thanks" he told you, a bit out of breath. You raised both of your eyebrows in a sarcastic way.
"Yeah. You seemed pretty helpless without me" you mocked him earning a playful smirk.
Everyone else landed on the deck as well and Natasha picked up from where she had left it off.
"What about the nurse that lives across the hall from you? She seems kind of nice" she informed him, seemingly emotionless. Steve rolled his eyes. At least, he wasn't interested right now.
"Secure the engine room. Then find me a date" he answered nonchalantly as she jumped off the current level.
"I'm multitasking". More like getting on your nerves.
You didn't look at him and that was why you couldn't know but he was looking at you, trying to read your face. He wanted to know if -maybe- you were mad at... Natasha or him? Maybe, just maybe... You could have been jealous?
Mission first, then dames he thought.
Shortly after that, you both had your head in the game. He needed your help because he didn't speak French (or so you thought because later you found out that he was fluent), so you were stuck with him, translating.
"I do not like to wait. Call Durand. I want the ship ready to move when the ransom arrives" you quickly translated as you were eyeing Steve, trying to understand what he was planning.
"He called Durant. He wants to start the engine. Natasha has to be there" you continued. He nodded and took off.
You ran into the opposite direction so you could help Rumlow as already planned. He would need someone to deal with the hostiles. Everything went according to plan. But then Natasha never showed up.
"Hostages en route to extraction. Romanoff missed the rendezvous point, Cap. Hostiles are still in play" Rumlow informed Steve.
You were about to yell at her but there was no reply from her.
"Get them out of here. I'll stay behind" you practically barked out the 'order'. Natasha had screwed you up. And you needed to fix this.
Something that ended up biting you in the ass.
Your head was heavy and you couldn't feel your body. She was dead. The moment you could get up, she was dead.
You slowly opened your eyes and tried to move your sore muscles. At least, you weren't paralyzed.
You looked around you only to find out that you weren't alone.
"Steve?" your voice was raspy and it made you wince. His eyes were instantly on you and a relieved smile had just formed on his lips.
"How are you?" he sheepishly asked. You would have laughed but your head was spinning and your mind was thinking about quitting.
You slowly and carefully got out of the uncomfortable bed and placed your feet on the ground.
"How long was I out?" you questioned rather seriously. He sifted his weight on his other leg.
"A few hours. I had a talk with Fury but he doesn't... He is not very helpful" he told you and you could see that he was fighting a battle.
Thankfully, you were wearing normal clothes. Because you had a few things to say to Fury too.
"Let's go" you said clearly not giving a flying fuck. He knew better than questioned you that moment.
All the way to Fury's office, you noticed that Steve walked closer to you than he had before, being a tad more protective than he usually was. And even though you wanted him to know that you were capable of protecting your ass, you were more than happy to feel his presence so close to you. He made you forget all the pain and the sadness.
You slammed open the door. You weren't even surprised that Natasha was already there.
"And she is alive!" Fury jocked.
"You are alright" Natasha said.
You walked straight to Fury and slapped him. He was taken aback that much that he didn't even say anything.
You turned on your heel, gave Natasha a cold glare and almost hissed at her.
"Not thanks to you".
Steve was looking at you, debating whether he was impressed or confused by your actions.
"Project Insight. Now" you clearly demanded.
Fury seemed to come to his senses.
"You waltzed in here, slapped me and now you are demanding information that is not to be shared with you?" he asked darkly. He wasn't used to people having authority over him.
You tilted your head, a devilish smirk on your face and you waited for about five seconds before you gave him an answer.
"Precisely". Everything was still.
"Why?" he dared to ask.
"I want to hear your version of the story, Nicky" you told him and he understood that you knew. He raised an eyebrow.
"There is only one version" he said ominously as he nodded towards the elevator for you and Steve to enter.
Steve and Nick had a stupid talk and you couldn't help but wonder. What exactly did they want to achieve? You knew that there was something fishy about the whole thing. Especially, Pierce. He gave you an off vibe.
Once the elevator stopped, you came face to face with three huge Helicarrires.
"This is Project Insight. Three next generation Helicarriers synced to a network of targeting satellites" Nick informed you proudly. You, however, felt sick.
"Launched from the Lemurian Star" Steve commented, looking at him.
"Once we get them in the air they never need to come down. Continuous suborbital flight courtesy of our new repulsor engines" he continued like it was something he should brag about.
"Stark?" you guessed. He was good but not in the right way.
"Well, he had a few suggestions once he got an up close look at our old turbines. These new long range precision guns can eliminate a thousand hostiles a minute. The satellites can read a terrorist's DNA before he steps outside his spider hole. We gonna neutralize a lot of threats before they even happen" Nick told you, while you noticed he still kept his distance from you.
"I thought the punishment usually came after the crime" Steve butted in. He was always the one who wanted things to be right. And this didn't feel like it.
"We can't afford to wait that long" came the answer. Of course he would say something like that.
"Who's "we"?". Steve was so naive. So innocent. This was planned after New York.
"After New York, I convinced the World Security Council we needed a quantum surge in threat analysis. For once we're way ahead of the curve" Nick admitted. He finally told you something true.
"By holding a gun at everyone on Earth and calling it protection" you finished his line. Because that was exactly what he was about to do. Steve was zoning out. He knew this was bad. And so did you.
"You know, I read those SSR files. Greatest generation? You guys did some nasty stuff" Nick turned back to Steve because he was an easier target. You... Well, he didn't fancy the idea of getting slapped again. And he knew that you were more than capable of way more than just that. He had read your file too.
"Yeah, we compromised. Sometimes in ways that made us not sleep so well. But we did it, so the people could be free. This isn't freedom, this is fear" Steve answered truthfully, and you admired the fire inside him
"SHIELD takes the world as it is, not as we'd like it to be. It's getting damn near past time for you to get with that program, Cap. And you, agent" Nick finally told you what was all about.
"I'd rather not" you commented dryly and left.
"Don't hold your breath" you heard Steve informing him fiercely.
A small smile made its way to your lips.
The moment you found out that Fury was dead was the moment you came face to face with the man that trained you when you were captured by Hydra.
They called him 'The Winter Soldier'. To everyone else, he was a ghost story. You knew him as James. One of the few times that he could think on his own, he told you his name because he wanted someone to remember it for him, for he was going to get wiped. That was how things worked with Hydra. And that would be your future if you hadn't escaped. When SHIELD thought that they got you, you played along. They weren't capable of capturing you if you didn't want them to. You had escaped but you had tried to help him too. He was an innocent man that had been manipulated way too many times. But you couldn't.
And there he was, standing in front of you, his metal arm wrapped around your neck, no sign of recognition in his eyes.
"James, please" your voice was barely audible, but his eyes widened, and his grip loosened. Something sparked inside him, but he was hesitant.
"I am sorry James" you breathed out and his hand left your neck for good. He took his mask off and you saw that he remembered something. You, maybe?
Before you could do anything else, he jumped off the roof you were standing. You knew that he was gone.
If he was here and in his Soldat mood, then Fury was killed. He never screwed up a mission. That was why he had been Hydra's secret weapon for years. More than you could possibly imagine.
There was only one person that could help you and he was too occupied trying to get out of the Triskelion alive. So, you rushed to the only place you knew you would find him. The Hospital.
If your assumptions were correct, then Pierce would have unleashed STRIKE to take down Steve. And he would have gotten away, only to go to the most obvious place in the world. You hoped that you knew him well enough.
“Stop lying” he growled at Natasha. You almost ran towards him to peal him off of her.
“I only act like I know everything, Rogers” she answered defensively. Steve looked at you once you enter the room.
“I bet you knew Fury hired the pirates, didn't you?” he questioned her, but he let her go. Natasha nodded at you and you dared to take another step.
“Well, it makes sense. The ship was dirty, Fury needed a way in, so do you” she told him. Steve wasn’t having any of it. He gripped her arms and shook her entire body. He was mad.
“I'm not gonna ask you again”. You rushed and put your hand on his shoulder. That made him loosen up a bit, but Natasha was analyzing your every move and how Steve reacted when you were around.
“I know who killed Fury. Most of the intelligence community doesn't believe he exists, the ones who do call him the Winter Soldier. He's credited with over two dozen assassinations in the last fifty years” she blurted. Steve looked confused. You, however, couldn’t stand there listening to her calling him a monster.
“James. His name is James” you whispered. Both of them looked at you with furrowed eyebrows, expecting some kind of explanation.
“He was the one who trained me back then” you simply told them, your voice becoming even weaker than before.
Natasha continued her version of the story. How he had shot her and how he was a ghost story. But to you, he wasn’t a bad person who needed to be stopped. He was a helpless man who needed a chance. Steve, however, was worried. Someone from your past was messing up the timeline? Little did he know that he wasn’t just from your past.
When they decided that you had to find out what was on that drive, Natasha thought that you would have to steal a laptop and Steve wanted to break into SHIELD’s base... You rolled your eyes at them. They weren’t practical at all.
“The mall disguised as civilians, guys!” you exasperated. They were truly thinking like a spy and a hero. Since when did you become the practical one?
“And then what?” Steve asked you mainly because he had no idea how a mall could help.
“And then we go to a Mac store to use one of their computers, genius” you answered, your ‘duh’-tone being very well spotted.
“Lead the way ma’am”. You had to contain yourself otherwise your blush would be visible to everyone in the building. Natasha saw it, Steve didn’t. She winked at you and smirked. She got it now; why you always seemed to be annoyed when she tried to hook Steve up with someone. You had a thing for him. She should have known. He must have had feelings for you as well because every time she suggested another woman, his eyes would fall onto you momentarily.
You brushed the tension off and hoped that the closest mall was close enough.
Once you arrived, Natasha made sure that you felt uncomfortable in all possible ways.
“You are a couple. And I’m the creepy loner friend. Got it?”. She was actually giving orders, something that made you quirk an eyebrow, but you felt your cheeks burning when Steve didn’t say anything, instead, he looked down, trying to hide his own blush. You all walked to the first store you saw and found a laptop that could handle the drive.
“The drive has a Level Six homing program, so as soon as we boot up SHIELD will know exactly where we are” Natasha informed you. You already knew that they weren’t stupid.
“How much time do we have?” Steve asked, his eyeglasses getting in the way of his spasmodic moves. He really didn’t know how to hide in plain sight.
“Uh...about nine minutes from... Now” she told him and popped the drive into the computer.
“Fury was right about that ship, somebody's trying to hide something. This drive is protected by some sort of AI, it keeps rewriting itself to counter my commands” she continued as she was typing. Your brain was thinking ahead but Steve was impatient.
“Can you override it?” he pressed. If you didn’t like him that much you would have kicked his ass. Big time.
“Steve, first rule of going on the run is, don't run, walk. Stop it” you told him and gripped his arm tightly enough to make him flinch. He gave you an apologetic look. You knew that he didn’t know how to act naturally.
“The person who developed this is slightly smarter than me. Slightly” she commented dryly. Yes, maybe. But you were running out of time.
“Try running a tracer. This is a program that SHIELD developed to track hostile malware, so if we can't read the file, maybe we can find out where it came from” you suggested and she looked impressed. She didn’t know that you had hacked into SHIELD’s system too many times, but Steve did and he was proud. Not of your deviant behavior but… genuinely. Something had changed between you two and he felt it. Something in the way he would find solace in your scent or presence… or the fact that he would never consider dating someone else because, even if you were ten years younger than him and -in his mind- you deserved better, he had formed this huge school-boy crush on you. And he didn’t mind one bit.
“Can I help you guys with anything?” an employee asked politely, and your eyes immediately scanned him.
“Oh, no, thank you. I am just helping them with some honeymoon destinations” Natasha lied smoothly, and you followed suit even though your heart was pounding in your chest.
“Right! We're getting married” Steve quickly agreed, a little too excited. You placed a hand on his chest, acting all wifey.
“Congratulations! Where do you guys thinking about going?”. Fuck, he wasn’t stopping. Steve looked at the monitor and saw that the signal was traced somewhere in New Jersey. You knew that he was about to blurt it out.
“New Jersey”. He was a terrible liar. Something that you found extremely attractive.
“Oh” the poor guy answered. He looked at Steve for a moment and you felt that he stopped breathing.
“I have the exact same glasses” he remarked. You had stopped paying attention to the conversation because, a) you were scanning the room and b) Steve.
After tracing the signal to Wheaton you walked out,
“Standard tac-team. Two behind, to across, two coming straight at us. If they make us, I'll engage, you hit the south escalator to the metro” he gave commands. You looked at Natasha and nodded once. Two agents were coming straight towards you.
“Shut up and put your arm around me, laugh at something I said” you demanded curtly. That made him turn his head too fast.
“What?” he croaked. You wanted to slap him. You didn’t have time.
“Do it!” you practically barked at him. Steve quickly put his arm around you and laughed.
Natasha quickly lowered her hoodie and walked by without getting noticed.
All the agents walked by and Steve looked impressed. As you were going down the escalator you and Natasha spotted Rumlow on the escalator next to you going up and she turned to Steve. She was behind him and you were in front of him.
“Kiss her” Natasha told him. You thought you would have frozen, but you were actually calm. Maybe because you didn’t believe that he would actually do it. He just kept looking at you with his eyes wide open.
“Public displays of affection make people very uncomfortable” Natasha reasoned but before he could answer you quickly pulled down Steve's head and kissed him making Rumlow look away as he went past you on the escalator. The moment your lips touched, you lost yourself and you forgot about reality. Natasha smiled knowingly. Finally.
His hands held your waist tightly and yours were resting around his neck. It couldn’t have lasted more than five seconds, but you were out of breath. Maybe it was his scent, maybe it was his body, maybe it was his lips… maybe you were not just in love with him.
You pulled away and broke apart when you saw Nat’s smirk.
“Still uncomfortable?” she questioned wiggling her eyebrows suggestively.
“It's not exactly the word I would use” he told her truthfully and you saw him blush. You tried to hide your smile but failed.
“Bucky?”
“James”
You were playing on repeat that scene for the last fifteen minutes. You couldn’t get over the fact the guy that had trained you, the Winter Soldier, James… was Steve’s best friend. The last days had been chaotic but that was something you would never imagine. Then again, you lived a pretty crazy life.
“It was him. He looked right at me like he didn't even know me” Steve whispered heartbrokenly. You didn’t know how to soothe the pain.
“How's that even possible? It was like seventy years ago” Sam asked confused but it wasn’t that confusing.
“Zola. Bucky's whole unit was captured in '43, Zola experimented on him. Whatever he did helped Bucky survive the fall. They must have found him and...” Steve trailed off. You could taste your blood in your mouth. Your sight was weakening.
“None of that's your fault, Steve” you tried to reassure him but he wasn’t listening. Not really.
“Even when I had nothing, I had Bucky”. It felt like he was confessing his younger years and your heart ached for him. Sam seemed to notice yours and Nat’s wounds and he glanced at the guards.
“We need to get a doctor here. We don't put pressure on those wounds they gonna bleed out here in the truck” he accused them but the world started spinning. Suddenly one of the guards pulled out an electric rod and you thought that you were gonna die but then it neutralized the other guard and knocked him out. The guard took off the helmet and-
“Maria?” you questioned. What the fuck?
You didn’t get to hear the rest of the story because you passed out in Steve’s hug. He made a promise to himself. If he was to survive this, he would take you out on a date. At least, he would man up and ask you.
You ran towards the bombs, where you knew that he was coming from. Finally, you saw him, rocket launcher in his hand as he made his way towards you. You shrunk back, forcing yourself to become invisible as the Soldier threw down his launcher, opting for his machine gun as he shot a man in the neck, throwing a grenade inside another plane.
You launched yourself forward. You knew that you would have to muster Natasha’s thigh hold. You knew him but he knew you too. You threw yourself onto his back, locking your legs around his waist by your ankles as you grabbed your knife, one hand locked around his neck for support and your left hand aiming the knife for his face.
“James stop” you tried to prevent what was about to follow. He didn’t answer.
But he knew those moves. His reflexes were quicker than you remembered. His human hand grabbed yours and stopped the knife. The two of you struggled for a few moments before he tried throwing you off of him, something that didn’t quite work because your legs were locked around his waist…until he used his metal hand and stuck his thumb into your thigh, right into the wound that Rumlow had inflicted on you moments ago. You held your scream but your legs weakened their hold. He grabbed your arm holding the knife and flipped you over his shoulder. You landed hard on the ground. A groan escaped your lips before your eyes widened at the metal fist aimed towards your head. You quickly rolled over his fist hitting the cement next to you.
“James, for fuck’s sake. Please!” you tried one last time. His face became a tragic mask.
“You are my mission” he spat out, trying to convince himself more than you.
“Bucky” you whispered but never got to see his reaction because he had already jumped off of the building.
Later on, in the safety of the trees, you watched the destruction all around you. You simply watched. You couldn’t even more. However, as you were staring at the one helicarrier that still in the air, you saw Steve falling from it into the water. Your breath never made it out of your lungs. And then, moments later, another figure followed it.
Bucky.
“If you die, I’m gonna kill you” you hissed at Steve. Or, the image in your mind.
Tags: @orionsirivsblack @kapolisradomthoughts @nadinissavage @geeksareunique
#captain america imagine#steve rogers imagine#steve rogers x reader#steve rogers fanfiction#steve rogers#steve x reader#captain america#captain america fanfiction#captain america x reader#bucky barnes imagine#the winter soldier#winter soldier imagine#bucky x reader#natasha romanoff imagine#nick fury#clint barton#thor odinson#marvel imagine#mcu#mcu imagine
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in denial but practically married
Admin: Sadie
Words: 10,656 (holy moly that’s the most I’ve ever written)
Description: If he’s a photographer who gets hired constantly by the magazine company you work at, and you two are best friends, who’s to say there isn’t any hidden feelings?
Author’s Notes: How rude can Kyungsoo be? Wrecking my bias list with his stupid acting and beautiful vocals and his sarcastic tone and sass and fuck why does he have to do this to me. like seriously. i find myself so often watching random videos of things he did back in 2012 at 3 am so seriously why. hes not even my bias.
“Okay guys let’s do that one more time, but this time, with more flowers!”
The producer’s voice rings loud and clear throughout the studio. Immediately, you jump into action, running to the models quickly and checking over their dresses quickly. The person in charge of the props takes the large box of petals and roses and heaves it up the ladder so he can throw the red petals over the model.
The model’s dress is still immaculate, but a piece of her hair had escaped from the gracefully messy braid that was strewn across her shoulder. You immediately go to pin it back and then scramble off the set before the producer’s voice is heard again.
“All right people that’s perfect!” he shouts. The photographers start flashing away, and you go to stand behind one of them to look over their shoulder to see the pictures. The pictures, of course, are gorgeous, turning out absolutely flawless. The angles are perfect, the models are stunning, and the photographer’s ass looks great in those jeans.
Fuck.
It was 100% percent normal for you to accidentally catch yourself staring at his ass. You mean, like it’s a nice ass, so you’re gonna appreciate it. Too bad that ass is attached to one of your closest friend’s body.
That friend is Do Kyungsoo. Kyungsoo is a photographer. As a matter of fact, he’s a hell of a photographer. Back in high school he was a photography protege. Like seriously. In the middle of algebra class, if he was inspired enough, he would take out his camera and just start photographing random things, like the worksheets, his pencils, and occasionally that cute guy he saw across the room named Kai or Jongin or whatever.
You didn’t go to high school with him, so how did you know all this about him? Well, he had told you over numerous nights of watching old movies, discussing new ideas to promote at both of your jobs, and just ordering take out so you two could talk about life and other random things. It had become kind of your thing. After you both got off work, which was typically at similar times, because your jobs depended on each other, it would be off to this small but really good cafe (no really--their chocolate chip muffins were literally made by an angel, not to mention their jujube bingsoo) near your buildings. There you two would chat and occasionally make fun of your crazy executives.
It was a nice thing to do, especially after a day of shooting. Those photo shoots got intense sometimes. You worked for a magazine company, in the fashion department. Your job was to make sure the designer dresses and various other clothing styles were in perfect condition. Typically, you would be the one to formulate the outfits before submitting them to your superiors for approval. You would also analyze the outfits once they were used and write a column or a page describing the designer’s feelings towards that piece or what goes into rocking that piece. It wasn’t a hard job, and it paid well. It’s also where you met Kyungsoo when you first started three years ago.
A water being tossed in your direction brings you out of your reverie. Sadly, you come out of your reverie a little too late and the bottle hits you in the face.
“Shit! Sorry (Y/N). Wasn’t aiming at your face if you were wondering.”
You scowl and lean down to pick up the bottle. “Work on your aim there, penguin-man.”
Kyungsoo laughs and opens his own bottle of water to take a swig. Apparently, while you were off reminiscing, the producer called break. You graciously take a sip of your water before moving closer to Kyungsoo to punch him in the arm.
“You seem spaced out today,” he says, grinning as he rubs his arm. “What have you been thinking about?”
You shrug. I was thinking about your lovely ass, buddy. “Taxes, work, how much water I drink a day, adult stuff.”
He lets out a chuckle, before setting his water down on a nearby table and looking over his camera, checking to see if the pictures were turning out as planned. Of course, you knew the pictures were flawless, as you had already checked them out previously, but a good photographer always double checks.
You come up behind him and rest your chin on his shoulder to look at his camera. He’s warm, as usual, and smells like coffee and peppermint, something you’ve grown quite fond of. He acknowledges you with a small smile on his heart shaped lips.
“Oooo, I like that one,” you say, pointing to one as he scrolls through the pictures. He looks at you over his shoulder.
“Didn’t you already look at them all?” he asks.
“Yes, but these are the raw ones,” you say, stepping back and grinning. “These are the ones that you took on your own camera. It’s not the same as looking at them with a bunch of people.”
He gives you a strange look. “But they’re literally the same exact pictures.”
“Not to me.”
“Why in the world are you so fucking weird?”
“Maybe because I’m hanging out with you all the time. Weird people tend to flock together, you know?”
That gets him. He doubles over, laughing. You grin triumphantly. You’ve always found pride in making Kyungsoo laugh like that. Totally not because his laugh was one of the most gorgeous sounds you’ve ever heard. Totally not.
After regaining his posture, with the smile still present on his face, he opens his mouth to say something (probably something really snarky) but the producer beats him to it.
“Break time’s over! Let’s wrap this shoot up quickly!”
_________
Just as the producer wanted, the crew wrapped up the shooting not long after that break. You followed the models into the dressing room to help them properly and carefully take off the delicately designed dresses. You’re extra careful about that bit of lace near the buttons.
As the models all make their way from the dressing room, bowing respectively, you zip up the last dress into it’s protective bag and take a deep breath. That shoot was a lot more mild than you expected, and for that you’re glad. Usually the shoots leave you drained from being around so many people and in need of recharging. Kyungsoo typically deals with the same curse of introverted-ness as you, so you two often try to recharge together, which completely goes against the idea of an introvert.
Regardless of your introverted self, you find yourself craving more of Kyungsoo’s time, and wanting to be with him more often than naught. You’ve told some of your other friends this, and all they’ve said is stuff like, “You’re blind. Metaphorically and physically,” or “Why is it that when you need to recharge, you only want to hang out with--ohh...never mind,” or “He must be special to you or something. Introverts tend to group together I think.”
You groan in frustration. You really don’t know why you like Kyungsoo more than others. In truth, he just kind of snuck up on you. You both had been huddled in a corner at a company dinner, and with both of your bosses chatting together, talking about deals and such, you two had awkwardly scrolled through your phones until you saw a picture of Natsu on his phone and you couldn’t help but ask him about it. From that grew anime hangouts and then just casual hangouts. Over the three years you knew him, he became the closest person to you. Up until Kyungsoo, you’d never really had any super close friends, like ones that you know you couldn’t ever get tired around, no matter how much you loved them.
A knock at the door makes you jump and realize that you were staring at yourself in the mirror for the past thirty seconds.
“(Y/N)? You in here? Doesn’t matter I’m still coming in because I know you’re in here.”
The door knob turns and Kyungsoo’s face peeks around the corner of the opened door. A heart-shaped grin forms over his lips. “You ready to go? You took even longer than usual to pack up.”
You shake your head to get rid of the remnants of your thoughts. “I’m ready. How much longer did you have to wait? Five minutes? Thirty seconds?”
“You were like half an hour later than usual,” he says, coming fully into the room with his hands in his pockets. “I had to wait in the cold, freezing night for like ten minutes!”
“Kyungsoo, it’s five in the evening. The sun is still out. That, and the fact that it’s like 70 degrees outside.”
“I know that. Now, let’s go. I need my evening coffee.”
You quickly grab your satchel and double check to see if everything is in there before nodding and Kyungsoo and leaving the dressing room.
________
The cafe that you typically go to is quiet, which is strange, as people are typically just getting out of work at that time. But today, the cafe is practically empty, save for some college students huddled in a corner. You both order the same thing you’ve been ordering for the past six months and find your seat on the second floor of the cafe to wait.
The seat that you two always sit at is always on the second floor, secluded from most people. It’s right next to the window, so you can scope out people and guess what they’re thinking in those moments. It’s become quite a routine for you. You could even call it therapeutic, in a way. It gets you out of your apartment after work and helps you stay involved in the world. Honestly, without Kyungsoo, you’d probably be back in your apartment, endlessly scrolling through Tumblr looking for decent fanfictions to read.
It hits you as you sit down in your seat. Kyungsoo has taken up about 96% of your life and you’re left wondering how that happened. How did this awkward, introverted photographer with a secret love of anime and kittens who comes off as really rude at first glance manage to sneak his way into your life? How did such a person who likes plants and taking pictures of things he deems “elegant” become so close to you? Somehow, he manages to sneak his way into most of your thoughts. He manages to get you ready for the day. He manages to make sure that you eat healthy food and a nice home cooked meal once in a while. He has just taken up so much of your thoughts and you just wish it would all--
“(Y/N)? You still there?”
A hand waves across your face and you jump. You nod, still reevaluating everything that happened in your life up until this point in your mind.
“You seem really spaced out today,” he says, a look of confusion spreading across his face. “There’s got to be something you’ve been overthinking about lately. Come on. Spill it, or I’m eating all the jujube bingsoo.”
You shrug. “If you don’t let me have some of that bingsoo, I swear I will never talk to you again, Kyungsoo.”
He grins. “Then tell me what’s got you all distracted lately.”
“Nothing!” you say, a bit more defensively this time. “Nothing is distracting me at all!”
Kyungsoo hums. “Oh I’ll definitely believe you. Totally. And I can stand that Chanyeol guy who works with you.”
“Chanyeol is a nice guy!”
“He’s too nice.”
You groan in frustration and open your mouth to say something, but the buzzer signifying your drinks and food are ready buzzes before you can say anything.
“I’m gonna go and get the drinks,” you say, snatching up the buzzer from beneath Kyungsoo’s hand. “And you are not eating all of the bingsoo, I assure you that.”
You walk off to walk down the stairs and sigh. He knows you too well. He knows when your mind is wandering. The only problem is, he doesn’t know what it’s wandering to. Lately, it’s been wandering to Kyungsoo. You really have no idea why. It’s truly getting annoying. All your mind has been saying is, “Will Kyungsoo be there?” “I wonder what Kyungsoo is up to now.” “Has Kyungsoo eaten today?” and other various thoughts concerning Kyungsoo. Kyungsoo, Kyungsoo, Kyungsoo. That’s all it’s been. You’ve known this guy for three years, and yet just now he’s been in every thought you’ve had.
You shake your head to rid yourself of thoughts of Kyungsoo as you pick up your bingsoo and tea. You assure yourself that it’s only because he’s been your friend for so long, that’s why he’s always in your mind. Yeah. He’s been your friend for a long time. That’s why. No other reason. Absolutely no other reason.
You make your way back to your table, where Kyungsoo is staring out the window. The evening sun shining in through the window makes him absolutely glow, accentuating his cheekbones and the graceful curves of his lips. It’s truly stunning how he can be so beautiful. It’s also a bit weird because that beautiful man is you best friend. It’s totally normal to admire your best friend, right? You did admire his ass earlier during the shoot, but now that you think back on it, was because your eyes were fixated on a point and he just so happened to move into that exact spot, and you were just too lazy move your eyes. Simple as that.
You make sure to keep the bingsoo close to you as you sit down, glaring suspiciously at your friend. He smirks at you and you growl. “Don’t fucking take my bingsoo from me.”
Kyungsoo holds his hands up in surrender. “Fine, fine. Just please tell me what’s been going through your mind.”
“Chanyeol!” You can’t stop the name from escaping your lips. He was the first person to come to mind that wasn’t Kyungsoo, so he was better than nothing.
“What?”
“Chanyeol...he’s the one that I’ve been thinking about,” you say, taking a sip of you tea, only to find out that it’s scalding hot.
“That over sized man-child is what you’ve been thinking about?” Kyungsoo crosses his arms across his chest. “Chanyeol? Really? Why of all people him?”
You cough. “Well...he’s very nice to me...and he’s interested in getting to know me...plus he’s really tall and acts kinda like a puppy?”
Kyungsoo looks at you suspiciously. “You don’t sound very sure about that.”
“No, I guess I don’t,” you say, taking a bite of the bingsoo. The sweet taste of the red beans combined with the shaved ice and a piece of jujube explodes on your tongue and you almost moan at how good it tastes.
He sighs in defeat. “I should probably stop while I’m ahead. I’ve gotten what I can out of you.”
You grin. “If only you could read my mind.”
_________________
It’s 3 AM and you’re struggling to sleep. No matter what you do, you can’t stop evaluating everything about Kyungsoo and your relationship. This had never happened before. Evaluating your relationship with him means you’re evaluating your feelings for him. That’s scary. Feelings are scary. Especially if they’re anything but platonic for your best friend, who you most certainly do not want to scare away.
You toss around in your bed, trying to get comfortable. Nothing really works. Sometimes, if you can’t sleep, you reach around to try to find Kyungsoo, but this wasn’t one of the nights that he stays over. Most of the time, you find yourself staying over at Kyungsoo’s or sometimes you find him staying over at yours. It’s quite comforting, in a way. He’s very warm and quite comfy, like a nice pillow.
You sigh. Kyungsoo is just someone that’s so special to you that you don’t ever want to let go. He helps you out of your shell. He spends hours of his life with you. He cooks for you. He helps clean your apartment with you. He often sleeps over with you. He argues with you if you are ever tempted to adopt a dog even though your apartment building doesn’t allow pets. He makes sure you get home on time. He makes sure you’re awake and caffeinated for the day. He listens to you if you need someone to talk to. He appreciates your talents and encourages them.
This isn’t fair. Why are you the one who has to reevaluate an entire relationship at 3 AM? Why can’t Kyungsoo be the one who’s up all night thinking about everything you did with him? Why does it have to be you?
Kyungsoo is just so...so...different from anyone you’ve ever met. Your friends say that you two are practically married at this point. Whenever they say that, you two always laugh it off, but something in your heart feels strange whenever they mention it. Maybe they’re right. Maybe you two are almost like a married couple.
You groan in frustration. Kyungsoo is an amazing person. He’s a gentleman, kind and respectful. He knows when to be professional and he knows when to be silly. He seems so rude and cut off from the world at first, but then you get to know him, and he’s this giant fluff ball with penguin boxers and a lot of sass. He’s so particular. So very very particular. With his minimalist art he has lined up on his walls, those cat slippers he got for you because he knows how much you like cats, and his amazing chef skills, he’s almost too good to be true.
Besides being a sweetheart and kind to literally everyone he meets, he’s also physically stunning. Absolutely stunning. With his heart shaped lips and well defined arms, he’s stunning. You’ve seen the way your co-workers have eyed him and remember the way that made you feel. It made you feel all yucky and annoyed all of a sudden. They would take one glance at him and just start giggling. It was even worse at restaurants. If the waitress or waiter was interested, they would flirt with him, and that happened quite often. It wasn’t like you’d get jealous or anything. It’s not like you love him. Right?
Fuck.
You’re totally, head-over-heals in love with your best friend. You slap your hand across your face and groan again, but this time louder. It’s not like you can help it. This is the first time you’ve come to terms with your feelings for him and you don’t like it. Not one bit.
__________
The next morning scares you and you don’t want to get out of bed. Getting out of bed means having to see Kyungsoo. And having to see Kyungsoo means that you’ll have to face the reality of your newly discovered feelings. That doesn’t sound very appealing to you. So instead of facing your feelings head on, you decide to run from them.
You end up calling in sick that day. Which is technically not a lie, as your stomach feels queasy and your head is kind of pounding. That and you hadn’t taken a sick day for the past five months, so might as well now. Thankfully there aren’t any big shoots to do today, as the big one was yesterday. Today would have just consisted of going through the photos and deciding which ones would work best in the magazine. Being the person who contacts designers and formulates the outfits you weren’t really needed anyway. Besides, you wouldn’t have to face Kyungsoo today anyway.
Kyungsoo ends up texting you, asking if you’re alive, if you’ve eaten, whether or not you’ve taken any medicine, or drank anything today. Honestly, you don’t know how he knew you called in sick. He doesn’t even work at your building. Maybe he was there as the executives were choosing the photos. You’ll never really know.
You’re sick? why didn’t you tell me?
I dunno. I don’t even feel that bad. I guess I just kinda wanted a break or something.
did you eat anything today?
yea...some crackers and half a carrot
that’s not enough.
i’m not even that hungry
regardless, I’m gonna bring you some soup
Dude you have your own job. Stay being responsible and do your job, you little shit
here I am, being an amazing best friend, bringing you soup when you’re sick and still under-appreciated. how rude of you.
you’re at WORK now, penguin man. you don’t need to bring me soup.
I’m bringing you soup. Did you drink anything today?
yes, mom, i drank some juice and water.
why are you still sassy when you’re sick
I SAID IM NOT EVEN THAT SICK AND EVEN IN GENERAL IM NOT SASSY OMFG
still. let me in when i get to your apartment.
You throw your phone down onto your bed in frustration. All you really want to do is avoid Kyungsoo at all costs. And he’s not letting you even try to avoid him. Telling him that you just recently realized your feelings for him will absolutely ruin your friendship with him. You’re about 100% sure he doesn’t feel the same way about you. How could he anyway? The thought of him ever having feelings for you makes you laugh. Why would he like you? He’s so intricate and you’re just...well you’re just you.
You decide to get up and wait in the living room for him. You plop yourself down onto your couch with your laptop and decide to watch an episode of Strong Woman Do Bong Soon. The beautiful Ahn Min Hyuk should help distract you from Kyungsoo and his adorable pout and cute lips and kind smile and good heart and fuck where were you going with this thought.
Halfway through a particularly good episode, a knock sounds from your door. You sigh. There’s absolutely no way to avoid this, is there? Another knock sounds at your door, confirming that there is not one single way to avoid this. At all.
You sluggishly make your way to the door and open it, to reveal Kyungsoo, with multiple grocery bags full of ingredients.
“I wasn’t sure what type of soup you wanted, so I got lots of things.”
Damn him. Damn him and his thoughtfulness.
“How is your boss okay with this?” you ask, opening the door wider for him to maneuver in with all those bags.
He sets the bags down on your kitchen counter and begins unpacking the food. “He knows how close we are. He also thinks we’re secretly married.”
You pray hard that your face isn’t red.
“Damn, your face is really red. Just how sick are you?”
Fuck fuck fuck fuck. “I said already, I’m not really sick at all. You don’t need to make me any soup.”
He still doesn’t stop unloading the groceries. “I’m still making you soup. Besides, it was about time to restock your fridge.”
You sigh in defeat and sit on the counter next to the stove. “You don’t need to. I don’t need you to baby me.”
Kyungsoo smirks and a comfortable silence falls between you both. It’s moments like these where you’re going to struggle trying to keep these feelings to yourself. It’s not like you can help it. He’s just such...such boyfriend material, you know? Especially when he’s wearing that jean jacket and those ripped black jeans. And most specially when he’s preparing the vegetables for the soup.
“So, you’ve been thinking about Chanyeol lately, huh?” Kyungsoo breaks the silence. He looks over at you expectantly. There’s something in his eyes that scares you.
“I guess so,” you sigh. “He’s very tall and easy to notice. That and he works with you, so I get to see him a lot.”
“He asked about you today, you know.” He starts to slice the carrots. “As I was leaving, he asked if you were okay and if I would say hi to you for him.”
This surprises you. “Really? He did? That’s so sweet of him.” Thinking about all these boyfriend vibes you’re getting from Kyungsoo is making you wonder how long these feelings have been repressed for. Especially as you notice how this is exactly how you two usually act. Maybe you can date Chanyeol as a way to get your mind off of Kyungsoo. But then again, wouldn’t that technically be using Chanyeol? Maybe if you explained your situation to Chanyeol he would understand your predicament.
A glare is shot your way. “I don’t like him,” he says, turning back to his carrots.
“Why? He’s a nice guy and he brings me coffee every once and a while.”
“He does what now?”
“Brings me coffee,” you say. Why the hell is Kyungsoo getting all riled up? “Is there anything wrong with that?”
“No,” he says. “There’s absolutely nothing wrong with it. I just don’t really see him as someone you could be with.”
That catches you off guard. “Someone I could be with? Kyungsoo, he’s adorable and sweet plus he’s tall and got cute ears. I can see myself with him.” You say that to Kyungsoo, but somehow, it feels more like you’re saying it to yourself. Chanyeol is a great guy in all, but he’s not Kyungsoo.
“Well, who am I to stop you then?” he replies shortly. “Date him if you want to. I’m not going to stop you.”
“Dummy,” you say, hopping off of the counter and going to steal a piece of carrot. “I don’t even know if he likes me or not.”
“He told me he thinks you’re cute,” Kyungsoo says as he cuts a second piece of celery into small slices.
Really? That was unexpected. Still, you hope that Chanyeol will be understanding of your problem when you tell him. Why of all people do you have to struggle with these stupid feelings for your best friend? Why?
“Then tomorrow I’ll get his number,” you declare, grinning. “If he thinks I’m cute then there’s a mutual attraction somewhere.”
“Yeah, I guess there is,” he says as he throws a pinch of salt into the soup pot.
_____________
The next day starts almost exactly the same way the previous one had. You don’t want to face Kyungsoo again and the world at all. But you know if you could face him for a few hours yesterday, then today shouldn’t be so bad. How people with unrequited love survive, you’ll never know. You guess you’ll find out.
You drag yourself from your bed to get ready. Your apartment seems colder than usual now that you’re not in your warm bed, bundled in your sheets. Typically you’d keep the apartment a bit colder than a typical indoor temperature. It’s easier to put on clothing if you’re cold than to take off clothing if your hot. You dig through your closet to find something presentable and strip out of your pajamas to change.
You make a quick breakfast of eggs and toast before grabbing your phone and wallet and leaving your apartment to take the bus to your work building. The ride isn’t very long, thankfully, and once you arrive, you rush into the building. You aren’t late at all, as a matter of fact you’re quite early, but just the thought of the possibility of running into Kyungsoo scares you.
You successfully avoid seeing Kyungsoo on your way in, but the person standing at your desk confuses you. He’s facing away from you, but judging by the tall and lanky body, it’s probably Chanyeol.
“Morning!” you cheerily quip as you make your way around your desk to set your things down. The tall man smiles back at you, and holds a cup of coffee out to you. His face is slightly dusted pink.
“I-Kyungsoo told me tha-that you’re interested in getting to know me better,” he says, as you take the coffee from him and smile.
“He did?” you say as you blow on the coffee to try to cool it down. “Well, he wouldn’t be wrong, per say...but I wanted to talk to you about something.”
His eyebrows raise. “You do? How about over coffee this evening then? After work? I mean, after all, we’re still reviewing the photos today so I usually get off at the same time as you.”
You nod in confirmation. “That’d be nice, sure.”
You know that the after work coffee runs are usually exclusively you and Kyungsoo, but today, you just still want to run from your feelings once again. Yesterday, Kyungsoo literally forced you to interact with him, being the giant sweetheart that he is, just so he could take care of you. Gah, why is he so sweet?
Chanyeol leaves your desk after people begin coming into the well decorated office space the fashion team was assigned to and gives you a wave over his shoulder. Thankfully, you only have to write the rough draft of a column describing the dress and how it was worn. The writing part was never the easiest part of your job, but you still liked the way the words just flowed onto the document at sometimes. It made you feel better about your writing skills.
According to the subscribers of the magazine, they quite liked and appreciated your input and facts about the outfits. Which was surprising to you, as you had never really thought that your facts and tips were all that special. But apparently they were. It always boosts your self esteem whenever you read a good review, makes you feel all warm and fuzzy inside, like you actually accomplished something good in your life.
The day went by fast. Kyungsoo had texted you occasionally, sending sneaky pictures of Chanyeol and saying stupid things like
wow look at that hunk ammi right?
why him tho
just why
hey look there he goes
visiting his princess maybe?
stfu penguin
btw im meeting with him after work, so today’s evening coffee run will have to be postponed one day
oh come on
really?
yes, really
you’re ditching me for him? That’s not fair
buddy how is it not fair?
ugh it doesn’t matter anymore. you better not bring him to our cafe tho
that’s OUR cafe
not his and urs
OURS
Soo, we don’t own that cafe it’s not technically ours
stop being so salty
i gtg finish this column. focus on ur pictures k buddy?
fine finish ur thingy
have fun
Why does he have to be like that? You really still don’t know after three years of friendship.
“So, Chanyeol eh?”
You jump in your seat and turn around to see Jiwoo standing behind you. “What? No. No, not at all.”
She smirks. “But he totally gave you that coffee this morning. I saw him. And what’s that about you meeting up for coffee with him after work? I thought that was what you and Kyungsoo did though. You’re not cheating on him right?”
Your face turns bright red. “We aren’t dating!” you say defensively.
Jiwoo lets out a laugh. “Oh, right sorry. I forgot you’re married.”
“We are not married!” You cross your arms over your chest.
“Oh hush, you two are practically married at this point. I’m surprised you two haven’t moved in together yet.”
“That’s because we aren’t married!”
Another smirk forms over Jiwoo’s face. “Are you sure about that? You’re both obviously in love with each other. Like seriously. You make it so obvious. I walked past the meeting room and Kyungsoo was totally staring daggers at Chanyeol. He looked like he was really close to socking him in the mouth or something.”
“Kyungsoo always looks like that when Chanyeol’s around,” you say. “He hates him.”
Jiwoo hums. “Have you ever wondered why he hates him so much?”
“Maybe because he’s so much taller than him, and Kyungsoo has an inferiority complex?”
“Yeah, let’s just go with that until you two come to terms with your feelings.”
"I have come to terms,” you mumble under your breath. “And I don’t like it.”
Jiwoo hears you. She lets out a squeal and kneels down next to your chair. “Wait really?” She whispers. “Are you serious? Fucking finally, I thought I was gonna scream just watching you two not dating for real.”
You groan in frustration. “Don’t tell anyone, please, Jiwoo. I don’t want to love him, if I tell him how I really feel, I think he’ll get scared and awkward and then slowly get more distant from me and then I’ll be left single for the rest of my life, with five cats, but then again, having five cats doesn’t seem too--”
“(Y/N).” Jiwoo interrupts your ranting. “Just stop overthinking it. He probably feels the same way as you.”
You scoff. “Oh really? Sure, yeah totally. Kyungsoo totally is in love with me just as much as I love him. Totally.”
Jiwoo rolls her eyes. “Ha ha, love the sarcasm. But seriously, the way he looks at you, it’s like you’re the night sky or some shit like that. Or maybe it’s like he’s looking at his camera or something. It’s adorable.”
You eye her. “I don’t think Kyungsoo loves his camera in a romantic way, Jiwoo.”
She shrugs as she stands up. “I dunno, honey. He loves that camera more than anything in the world. Except maybe you.”
With that she skips off giggling to herself, leaving you bright red in the face and a scowl.
The day ends up going much quicker after that. You finish up the column and submit it for assessment, relieved that you got it done with time to spare. You decide to work on researching and trying to find contacts for new designers looking to put their names out there.
You don’t even realize that it’s the end of the day until Chanyeol shows up in front of your desk, waiting for you expectantly.
“You ready?” He asks. You nod and swing your backpack across your shoulder. Smiling at you, you both leave the building, giving a wave to your executives.
Your phone buzzes, multiple times. Turns out Jiwoo was spying on Kyungsoo for you. Wonderful.
Kyungsoo’s sulking
like really he’s sulking and pouting like a baby
wow
he’s such trash for you
how is this possible.
I think he’s scrolling through his photos of you
holy shit man
he’s trash
i s2g
you are married
face the facts man
I am with CHANYEOL u asshole leave me alone
You guys are married
have fun on ur attempt to make kyungie jealous
which is totally working btw
You can’t help but giggle as you slip your phone into your pocket. Chanyeol looks at you, a soft grin on his face. “Kyungsoo?”
Your head whips around to look at him. “No! It was Jiwoo, gosh, man.”
Chanyeol lets out a laugh. “Wow, quick to deny that, are we?”
You can feel your face getting a little warm. “Well, I don’t want to help feed the idea that Kyungsoo and I are secretly married, now do I?”
He laughs again. You arrive at a different cafe than the usual cafe you go to with Kyungsoo. It would feel a bit strange to bring someone that wasn’t Kyungsoo to that cafe.
You both order, getting a chocolate muffin to split, an iced mocha for you, and a white chocolate mocha for Chanyeol. Once your drinks were ready, you found a seat near the window and sat down.
Chanyeol takes a sip of his drink and immediately retracts from it, yelping. “Hot! Holy fuck, that’s hot.”
You laugh. “This is why I got an iced coffee, especially in this 70 degree weather we’re having.”
He sticks his burnt tongue out at you and blows on his coffee. “So, what did you want to talk to me about.”
You bite your lip. “Well, you see, I am in a bit of a predicament.”
He raises an eyebrow at you. “How so?”
“Um,ikindasortarealizedthatilovekyungsooanddon’tknowhowtofacemyfeelingsandhim.”
“Mm hmm,” Chanyeol says, taking a sip of his coffee, but this time slower. “And how does that make you feel?”
You groan. “You have no idea what I just said, do you?”
He grins and shakes his head. “No clue. Mind slowing down a bit?”
You take a deep breath. “Okay, so I...I realized that I love Kyungsoo.”
Chanyeol’s grin just grows. “Finally. I had no idea how long I was going to have to wait for you two to discover your feelings for each other.”
This confuses you. “Wait, you’re not upset at all?”
“Why would I be upset about that?” He asks, taking a piece of the muffin and putting it in his mouth.
“Well, I mean, um, Kyungsoo may have said that you said that you thought that I was cute...and I mean I thought that maybe you liked me...”
Chanyeol laughs again. “I only wanted to ever be your friend! Besides, if I ever even tried to make a move on you, Kyungsoo would kill me. I mean, if I tried to even talk to you while he’s in the same room, I’d probably die. He loves you a lot, but I can tell he’s in denial. He talk about you all the time, that’s why I wanted to get to know you.”
You take a sip of your coffee and shake your head. “It’s just really hard for me to believe people when they say that Kyungsoo loves me. I can’t believe anyone who says Kyungsoo loves me. It doesn’t seem possible at all.”
“Honey, Kyungsoo is in love with you.”
“Why does everyone keep saying that?”
“Because it’s true, buddy.” Chanyeol sips his coffee. “If you hear more than one person say that, it’s probably true.”
You scoff. “Yeah, sure. It’s probably just a giant prank or something. How many people are in on this, dude?”
“Look, I’ll tell you what,” he says. “Let’s date.”
This catches you off guard. “Let’s what now?”
He sits back in his seat “Date. Let’s go on a few dates, but make it really obvious that we’re seeing each other.”
“....Why?”
“Kyungsoo is going to hate me so much after this-”
“He already hates you a lot.”
“But if it gets him to realize his damn feelings for you then so be it. It’s getting really annoying hearing him talk about how ‘(Y/N) did this yesterday’ and ‘(Y/N) tripped over a dog today.’ No offense.”
“None taken.”
He leans forward again, elbows on his knees. “So? Will you do it?”
You contemplate this. Maybe seeing Chanyeol would be a good way to get over Kyungsoo. Although Chanyeol just wants to “date” you for the sake of making Kyungsoo jealous (which you highly doubt will actually happen). This could help though. It’s better than telling Kyungsoo how you feel and risking losing your best friend.
You sigh. “Might as well.”
Chanyeol grins. “Let’s do this thing.”
___________________
Chanyeol’s plan is put into action the next day. You had exchanged numbers the previous day, and discussed the details over the night. The next day, you are to eat lunch with Chanyeol, possibly inviting Kyungsoo along if he so happened to be around (which he was most likely going to be). Chanyeol will be blatantly flirting and you’re pretty sure you’ll have to play along. You know this is the dumbest thing you’ve ever done. Really, trying to possibly make Kyungsoo jealous? You? It was like trying to make a penguin jealous of a cat’s milk or something, it didn’t make sense nor did you think that would ever happen.
Regardless, when lunch comes around the next day, you wave a brief goodbye to Jiwoo and the rest of the team and leave to find Chanyeol. You still don’t think it’s going to make any effect on Kyungsoo at all. It just seems so ridiculous to you.
You meet Chanyeol outside of your building. He’s wearing an oversized sweatshirt, skinny jeans, and a sly smile on his face. You approach him cautiously.
“What’s with the face?” you ask, worried that he did something stupid. Again.
He scratches the back of his neck. “I invited Kyungsoo along with us.”
“Damnit.”
He shrugs. “We were going to invite him along if he was around anyway. I thought I should just do it.”
“And he said he would go to lunch with you?”
“I told him you were going and he immediately changed his mind. He literally growled at me. It was scary.”
You laugh and shake your head. “He’s weird.”
“Who’s weird?”
You swivel around to see Kyungsoo walking up to the both of you, a hard look on his face. Almost by instinct, your heart starts pounding and the butterflies in your tummy start running a marathon.
“No one,” Chanyeol replies, grinning as he swings an arm across your shoulder casually. Kyungsoo scoffs.
“Whatever,” he says, a sullen look taking over his face. “Let’s just eat. Where are we going?”
“I was going to let (Y/N) here pick out the place,” Chanyeol says, grinning down at you. You look up at him with wide eyes.
“Me?” You ask, totally caught off guard. Chanyeol cheerily nods at you, and you glance over at Kyungsoo. He’s fiddling with the camera hanging from his neck and staring across the street at something. “Oh, well, how does Thai sound?”
Chanyeol grins. “Sure, love, whatever you feel like.”
“I thought you hated Thai?” Kyungsoo shoots at Chanyeol, his eyes staring daggers at him.
“Well, I do,” he begins. “But if my lovely (Y/N) here wants it, then I’m perfectly fine with that.”
Your face turns bright red.
“Your (Y/N)?” Kyungsoo grumbles. “I didn’t realize that she belonged to anybody.”
Can these two please stop? Like really. It’s embarrassing. And kind of terrifying at the same time. Seriously, Kyungsoo looks like he’s been watching too much “How to Get Away With Murder,” and thinks that he can actually get away with it.
Chanyeol only holds his hands up in surrender. “You’re right, you’re right. She’s not a possession. She’s an angel,” he says, and pinches your cheek. You push his hands away and shrink into yourself.
“Stop that,” you mumble. “It’s embarrassing.”
“Yeah, you heard her,” Kyungsoo says scowling and adjusting his backpack. “Stop it.”
Chanyeol merely grabs your hand and turns you around. “Lead the way to the Thai, my angel.”
An annoyed grunt is heard from behind you and the butterflies only seem to fly faster.
The Thai place that you chose is absolutely amazing, one of your favourites, and you decide to get take out so you could just bring it back to your buildings. Thankfully, the restaurant isn’t too far from the building so you don’t have to walk far with the warm food. You also don’t have to wait very long to eat the wonderful smelling food. Your stomach grumbles as you walk alongside Kyungsoo, while Chanyeol runs ahead to pet some dogs.
“So...you and Chanyeol, huh?” Kyungsoo asks, almost hesitantly.
“Hmm? Oh, yeah, him and me,” you say awkwardly. “He’s precious.”
“Precious, huh?” He murmurs. “You know how much I can’t stand him. I still don’t understand why you’re with him.”
“Well, I’m not technically with him,” you say. “We’re not an official couple. We just recently started hanging out more.”
“Still,” he mutters. “Ah, it doesn’t matter anyway. You see who you want to see. Just as long as they make you happy.”
On the inside, your heart feels heavy, but on the outside, you smile graciously at him. “Thanks, buddy. I think I will.”
Chanyeol comes leaping back to you and squeals as he takes your hand. “Holy shit those dogs were the cutest things I have ever seen in my life. They were so fluffy and soft and hyper and oh my god I love them.”
You giggle and hold his hand tighter. That does not go unnoticed by Kyungsoo and he looks away. “You’re adorable,” you say.
Chanyeol grins down at you. “Awe, thanks love. You’re cute too.”
Another annoyed groan sounds from Kyungsoo.
______________
About a week has passed since the awkward lunch with Kyungsoo. It’s Friday now, you and Chanyeol have met up at least ten times, each time consisting of Chanyeol insisting that his plan is working and Kyungsoo is totally jealous.
“He literally refused to be in the same group as me when we went to a shoot!” He insists. “He typically just rolls his eyes and doesn’t argue, but this time he straight up refused. Didn’t even give a reason, just glared at me like he was plotting my murder.”
“Isn’t that what he usually does?”
“Yeah, but this time, he looked like he was really going into detail.”
It’s always the same thing. Him insisting that Kyungsoo is in love with you while you both share a chocolate muffin. It’s a change, but you still miss seeing Kyungsoo. You still see him of course, he comes over to yours every once in a while to watch some Ghibli films with you while eating take out, and you occasionally go over to his to get some cooking tips (he ends up cooking an entire meal for you, not that you’re complaining). It’s sweet, but the atmosphere feels different. A bit strained, contained in a way, like he’s not telling you something. Maybe he got a girlfriend? No, he probably would have told you that big of a detail.
Chanyeol decides to bring you out to some fancy restaurant in order to fuel his plan. It’s this beautifully built, gorgeous restaurant that has like four dollar signs on Yelp or something. You really don’t know the purpose of going there (you also realize that you tend to not understand half of what’s going on anymore) but you decide to treat yourself to dressing up and going out with a good friend. So you agree. Chanyeol is ecstatic when you let him know and immediately asks what colour your dress will be so he can match his tie. You just give him a “I’m-so-done-with-you” look and move on. He only laughs.
You’ve told Kyungsoo about the “date” with Chanyeol, and he insists to come over before you go so he can help you get ready. Reluctantly, you agree and he arrives about ten minutes later with some muffins.
“I made muffins to send to my mom, but I made too many,” he says, holding them out to you. “So I decided I could give the rest to you.”
You hope you’re not blushing as you take the delicious smelling muffins and grin up at him. “Bless you, Soo, bless you.”
A heart-shaped smile grows over his face.
He sits on your bed as you search through your closet for a dress appropriate for the occasion. You don’t really have a lot of choices, but you manage to narrow down your options to two of the nice dresses you have out of the three.
“So...” Kyungsoo awkwardly begins. “Fancy date with Chanyeol...tonight. Where’s he taking you?”
You shrug and hold the two dresses up to him. “Some fancy place by the name of Danielle, I think. Red or black?”
“Black,” he says, looking at the two, and sighs. “I still think my cooking is better, just saying.”
You giggle. “I know, Soo, I know. Your cooking is the best I’ve yet to have. I doubt that this five star restaurant can top your marinated beef with asparagus.”
Kyungsoo grins triumphantly and you shoot a grin back at him before going into the bathroom to change.
The dress is an off the shoulder number with flowing sleeves, kind of like medieval style, that goes down to your mid thigh. It’s a bit tight, hugging everything quite nicely, actually. You never really took a good look at it before now, but now that you’re actually looking at it on yourself in the mirror, you like what you see. You take a deep breath before going out of the bathroom to show Kyungsoo.
“So? How does it look?”
He turns around from looking at the photos on your wall and his mouth slightly drops open. You can feel your face turning red again.
“Its...definitely on you,” he says.
You roll your eyes. “Really, Soo, does it look okay?”
He hesitates before answering. “Yes, you look absolutely stunning.”
You nod and give him a gracious smile before getting a dark red choker to wear and your heels. You’d much rather be doing so much at this moment. You’d prefer to be helping Kyungsoo make something for dinner in your pajamas before settling down to watch a rerun of a drama. But if Chanyeol is going to literally go to such extreme lengths to get Kyungsoo to “confess” or whatever, you might as well go along with it. It’s kind of fun, you can’t lie, and hanging out with Chanyeol is always entertaining.
You slip your heals on and lace the choker around your neck. Your hair has already been curled and pinned half up half down. It’s a nice look, you decide, and check the time. 7:26. Chanyeol should be here any minute to pick you up. You look over at Kyungsoo. He’s still looking at your pictures, and his eyes seem like they’re glued to this on photo of you and him.
That photo was always your favourite. You two had gone to Jeju island that day, with Kyungsoo’s friend Jongdae. Jongdae had taken a candid picture of you two laughing at something a seagull had done. Kyungsoo had his arm slung around your shoulder, and you were smiling up at him, mid laugh. Just seeing that picture made you feel all warm and happy. Even before you realized your feelings, that picture always made you feel like that. Safe, warm, and a bit nostalgic of the past.
You come up behind Kyungsoo and open your mouth to say something, but your phone buzzes, and you know that it’s probably Chanyeol telling you he’s here. Kyungsoo sighs, as though he knows what that buzz means too and tears his eyes away from the picture to look at you.
You pick up your phone and grab your wallet, before confirming that yes, Chanyeol is here to pick you up. You both make your way to your door to grab your coat in case it gets cold tonight. Turning to face Kyungsoo, you open your mouth to say something, but he beats you to it.
“Make sure he treats you right,” Kyungsoo says, almost sadly. He looks a bit defeated and tired, now that you’re really looking at him. He seems like he hasn’t been getting enough sleep lately and just looks really down. Your heart feels compressed in your chest at the thought of him not feeling well lately. All you want to do is get him into bed, nice and warmly bundled up and make him some soup and tea. But you know at this time, you can’t do that. Chanyeol is waiting downstairs. So instead, you smile at him, feeling somewhat empty that you aren’t going to the restaurant with Kyungsoo.
“I will,” you say, putting a hand on his shoulder and nodding. “I’ll report it all to you tomorrow, okay?”
He nods, and opens the door for you. “Have fun, love.”
You nod in acknowledgement and smile again. “See you later, Soo.”
And with that you exit your apartment, feeling forlorn at ever being able to love Kyungsoo.
___________
Kyungsoo watches from your doorway as you leave, his heart feeling heavy in his chest. Unlike you, who realized how you felt only about a week ago, Kyungsoo here has been keeping everything hidden and suppressed inside of him for about two and a half years. It hurt to see you with someone else, especially if that person was Chanyeol. He was always a bit jealous of Chanyeol. Who wouldn’t be? Chanyeol is tall, obviously attractive, with a charismatic personality and multi-talented. He’s everything Kyungsoo thinks he’s not. And now, he has you.
He sighs and steps out of your apartment, closing the door behind him. He feels as though he’s officially lost you. He knows you’ll still be there, but only as a friend, and not as his partner for life. But that role has been taken by Chanyeol.
Chanyeol. Why him? It still makes Kyungsoo angry (which might be spurred by the jealousy, but y’know) and he still doesn’t know why Chanyeol would ever go for you. Is he even really your type? You like cats, and Chanyeol likes dogs. There you go. Pure, scientific evidence why you two would be terrible together. It just wouldn’t work. Sure, Kyungsoo knows you also love dogs, but he knows for a fact that you’ve always wanted a cat. Kyungsoo groans.
Why was he just sitting around and not trying to tell you how he feels? He knows all he’s done really is ask why you chose Chanyeol, but your responses were all vague and didn’t sound right to him. It all sounded like you were hiding something. Was Chanyeol somehow blackmailing you to go out with him? That bastard.
He tries to think back to the restaurant you were going to. Danielle... sounds fancy, that’s for sure. He thinks he might as well go and check out this place for himself. He does, after all, have a cooking hobby, and checking out restaurants that are supposed to have good food is kind of part of that hobby. And what’s the harm in checking in on your date?
On the bus to the restaurant, Kyungsoo tries to convince himself that what he’s doing is totally normal. Best friends check in on each other’s dates all the time, right? It’s totally normal to not trust or like your best friend’s potential suitor, right? Completely normal to hate the idea of your best friend leaving you for someone else, right? Yeah, completely, 100% normal.
The restaurant is certainly fancy, he admits when he gets there. It’s big, with about three stories. Tall windows line the edge of the building, giving passerby's a perfect view directly into the elegant restaurant. And that’s exactly what it gives Kyungsoo. A perfect view of you and Chanyeol laughing together.
He’s sat across from you, with your back to the window. You’re obviously laughing and having a nice time with Chanyeol as he cracks another joke. Kyungsoo’s heart starts cracking in his chest. So...so this is actually happening you’re actually with Chanyeol. He hates to admit it, you two make a beautiful couple. You’re both free-spirited and kind people.
His heart officially shatters when he sees Chanyeol bring out a box, probably holding a ring or a necklace. He can’t watch it anymore. So he runs. He turns and runs away, not even knowing where his feet are taking him. He told himself he was just there to check out the cooking, but how could he even do that if you’re there with Chanyeol? Having a wonderful time, laughing and...and being in love. He was lying to himself. He didn’t go there to scope out the cooking. He went there to see if you were actually, truly serious. And after a week of thinking that it was impossible that you could ever consider Chanyeol as a potential suitor, he found himself wrong. That’s it. You and Chanyeol...that was actually happening. And Kyungsoo can’t do anything to ruin that. You’re happy with him. And if you’re happy, then he’s happy.
Actually, no he’s not happy. He hates how he feels. Hating Chanyeol even more, feeling selfish for you, and despising himself even more. It sucks.
He finds himself outside of your apartment with his phone out. He slides down the wall beside your door and pulls up Chanyeol’s number. The more he thought of you moving on, leaving Kyungsoo behind, marrying Chanyeol, having four children, with three dogs and living in the suburbs, far from Kyungsoo, the more angry he got. Chanyeol didn’t deserve you. You were too good for him, too pure. Chanyeol would never deserve you.
In a spur of anger, Kyungsoo texts Chanyeol.
Get your ass to work. There’s a problem with the photos and apparently you’re the only one who can fix them. And yes, they even called me in. Not my fault.
Kyungsoo reads what he sent over and over again. A few seconds later, it was read. Fuck. Oh he fucked up. He totally fucked up. He ruined your date. All because of his damn conflicting feelings. Fuck. He knew he ruined your nice date. He ruined it he ruined it. You’re going to hate him now. Fuck, you’re going to totally hate him once you learn that the text was a lie.
He groans and starts hitting his head on the wall. Oh, he totally fucked up.
___________
Chanyeol’s phone buzzes and he looks at it. Then laughs.
“What is it?” you ask, spearing a mushroom on your fork.
He laughs again. “Our poor Kyungsoo just texted me, saying there was an emergency with the photos at work. He told me to ‘get my ass to work.’”
“Well then?” You inquire. “Aren’t you gonna go?”
Chanyeol looks at you. “Honey, there is most certainly no emergency at work. We had already submitted the pictures today, I think. Kyungsoo’s just being a little jealous shit, that’s all.”
You roll your eyes. “Sure, buddy. I still think you should go just in case, though. What if he wasn’t kidding?”
“I’m fairly certain he just wants to get me away from you,” Chanyeol says. “But if you insist, I’ll actually go check. Do you need a ride back?”
“Nah,” you say, signaling for the check. “I think I’m good.”
“You sure?” He asks. “I thought it was supposed to rain tonight.”
“I think I can get home in time, before it starts pouring.”
Chanyeol shrugs. “Or, you could just call your prince charming and get him-”
“I can get home in time, Chanyeol,” you insist as the check arrives and you thank the waiter. “I’ll be fine. Just go.”
“Okay, fine,” he says and takes out his credit card. “But just saying this dinner’s on me.”
“Fine by me, bud.”
Chanyeol leaves after he gets his card back, saying something like, “Go get ‘em tiger,” or something cliche like that. You decide to finish your pasta before leaving. They make some damn good pasta here, so of course you’re going to finish every last bit of it. It’s got pesto that you love with sautéed mushrooms and grilled chicken. Damn, it’s some good stuff. Seriously.
By the time you finish, you come to the conclusion that you were wrong. It is raining outside. And it seems like it’s raining hard. You groan in frustration. Of course it’s raining. You had thought that it would at least wait until you got home, but nope. Rain waits for no one.
You end up taking a cab home, not wanting to go onto a bus in such fancy attire. Regardless, as you get out of the taxi, you get quite soaked, even in the few seconds that you’re outside. Your dress is quite soaked, and with the slight breeze and chill air conditioner inside, you’re getting cold quickly, so you try to make it to your apartment before you catch hypothermia or something.
The elevator ride is awkward, especially when a businessman walks into the elevator with you, making you feel quite awkward with your soaking wet self and his tailored suit. When you get to your floor, you quickly exit the elevator and take off your heals to jog to your door.
What’s sitting outside of your door though, that’s what surprises you. Kyungsoo is sitting outside your apartment, knees tucked up to his chest and his head resting on his arms on his knees. He looks like he’s been sleeping as you approach him, his eyes opening slightly too look at you. Immediately, he jumps up and swallows, blinking the sleep from his eyes.
“You-you’re back,” he says, shaking his head to help wake him up.
“I thought there was a problem at work?” you ask, moving around him to open your door.
“You’re soaking wet!”
You glare at him as he follows you into your apartment. “Thanks for stating the obvious, buddy. But what about the emergency at work?”
His face turns red. “Well, that-that was not technically a--”
You spin around to look at him. “Are you telling me that I got soaking wet because there wasn’t actually an emergency? Come on, Kyungsoo. I was having a great time with him, why would you--”
“Because I want you to be having a great time with me, not him!”
Your heart stops. “Soo, I do have a great time with you, all the time, whenever I’m with you.”
“Then why are you with him then? Huh? If you’re always spending your time with him, how are you sure that you have a great time with me?”
You hesitate before responding. “Because Chanyeol likes me romantically not just platonically! I’m tired to being single! I actually want to date someone now, and Chanyeol is--”
“I want to date you too!” Kyungsoo exclaims. Your brain officially stops working. You open your mouth to respond but he beats you to it. “I want to date you. I want to be there for you. I want to be the one who you want to spend all your time with. I want to be able to hold you, and kiss you. I can love you romantically, I do love you romantically. I love you in every way possible, okay? I just want to be that person for you! I can be that person for you, so why are you with him? Tell me why please!” He looks serious.
You can only stare at him, mouth gaping. “Are you--”
Kyungsoo groans in frustration, running his hands through his hair. “I just fucked everything up, didn’t I? Fuck, I’m so sorry. You’ll probably never want to see me again. God, I’m so sorry (Y/N). Please just forget I said anything. I’m so so sorry. I’ll leave now.”
“Don’t you fucking move, Do Kyungsoo.” Your voice is firm and he freezes. He’s already turned around away from you. There is no way in hell you’d ever think that he would be standing in front of you, telling you the words you thought were impossible. Obviously, you were wrong. He’s there, and he’s telling you those words.
“You love me?” you ask tentatively. “Like you actually, really love me?”
Kyungsoo takes a deep breath before answering, still not facing you. “I do.”
A giant grin comes over your face, and you leap onto his back, kissing his cheek. He yelps in surprise, grabbing at your arms on instinct. You wrap your legs around his waist and hug him like a koala.
“You’re fucking stupid,” you say. “I love you too, penguin-man. I love everything about you. I fucking love your cooking, and the fact that you have penguin boxers. I love how you make sure I’m okay when I’m sick and I love how you make sure I remember to eat. I just really fucking love you, okay?”
Kyungsoo laughs happily, turning his head to try to look at you. “Are you serious?”
“Yes, I’m fucking serious, Soo!”
He stares into your eyes, his sparkling ones looking deep into your own. “Can I kiss you?”
You nod excitedly. Kyungsoo swoops in, placing a soft kiss on your lips before pulling away. He grins and you jump off of his back so he can kiss you again, properly this time.
“I can still kiss you right,” he says, pulling you close to him and wrapping his arms around your waist.
“Yes, yes you can,” you say grinning, pulling him down for another kiss.
A/N: So that’s that! I hope it was good, please let me know! I really want to know if it’s good or not. I literally spent like a week writing this thing, so that’s why it’s so long. Thanks for reading it, and please let me know what you guys think! I’ll try to write more often now, okay? Have a lovely day!
-Sadie :)
#kyungsoo scenario#do kyungsoo senario#d.o. scenario#exo scenario#do kyungsoo exo#kyungsoo scenarios#do kyungsoo scenarios#exo scenarios#kyungsoo fluff#kyungsoo fanfic#do kyungsoo#kyungsoo#d.o.#exo do kyungsoo
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