there is something so satisfying about two of the most famous and anticipated movies this year, that both broke box office records, both having a jewish protagnist. take that antisemites.

Tw: antisemitism, death, invasion of countries

I've seen a few "invade Denmark" jokes lately, and then this post came up here on Tumblr, and I had to write about this.

The "aces invade Denmark" jokes are really disturbing, and have to stop. It started as a relatively harmless thing, but jokes about invasions of countries are just not funny. In particular after the invasion of Ukraine by Russia, and the awful war going on.

A little history: Denmark was invaded by Nazi Germany in 1940. It was actually the only country to (try and) protect its Jewish citizens, they refused to turn Jewish people over to be murdered. They even smuggled Jewish people out of the country. As a result, relatively few Jewish people in Denmark were killed (between 100 and 200, to much, but less then what it would have been). Denmark deserve better, even without this knowledge, but with this being known I think they deserve even more respect.

Now, I don't remember all the details, but things got very bad a few months back, when an actual Nazi symbol was spread around on Twitter, and it got to reddit as well, in connection with the ace community. Then the invading Denmark stuff started up in full force again. A country that had actually been invaded by Nazis. The Ace Couple podcast talked about this, and I would recommend listening to the episode to get the full story at this link.

As a Jewish ace, this disturbs me very much. The asexual community is better than this. Jewish aces deserve better than antisemitism being spread. Danish aces deserve better. Ukrainian aces, who are still going through horrible things right now, deserve better.

So please please stop with the invading Denmark jokes. If you can't, please don't interact with me. If you follow me, unfollow me/block me, we aren't compatible, my blog is intended to be a safe space for aces (and aspecs in general). If you didn't realize how harmful this is, that's okay, educate yourself, spread the word around. We all make mistakes, let's fix them now.

Keepers Of The Chaos (3)

Summary: Tam, Linh, Dex, Keefe, Biana, and Fitz are part of the tiny fandom for Keeper of the Chaos, and Tam and Linh’s podcast convinces some of their other friends to watch it as well. The group finds themselves strangely invested in this show, where students at Tumblr High School who work together to write about an elf named Sophia, cause incomprehensible chaos, and fight their rival Pinterest High School.

Content warnings: Cursing, religion (Jewish Vackers), and Amsterdam (just in case, I know that was stressful for some people).

Word count: 1621

Notes: Most of the episodes are just events stolen from Lynn's roundup, Dex's memes are here

(Read on AO3)

The life of an amateur meme maker on dumbles dot com was a strange one, that was for sure. After finishing xyr favorite show- Ze-Ra: Monaerchs of Powhir- for the third time, Dex had searched for another show to fill the void in xyr soul. Biana recommended this show called "Keepers of the Chaos" and described it to xem. Xe was doubtful at first, but after watching the first episode, xe was hooked.

Xe used to not have many friends at xyr school, so xe did what every neurodivergent queer teen would do- made an account on dumbles dot com. People seemed to like xem- or at least, they liked dizznee-plus's memes and edits of Ze-Ra characters. Even after Dex befriended xyr squish, Fitz, thons sister, Biana, and aer girlfriend, Sophie, xe continued making content on dumbles. Around that time, the Ze-Ra fandom started dying off, and xyr memes started getting fewer note

In a sudden, two am burst of inspiration, Dex made edits of some of xyr favorite characters, like Ref, Akki, and Rose, with their respective pride flags (all of them bi) over them, and captioned it "we must be gay." The post blew up, or at least, what could be considered blowing up in Keeper of the Chaos's tiny fandom, and that was how Dex found xyr calling as an amateur meme/edit maker for KOTC.

History had been repeating itself, with the KOTC fandom starting to die off, until it was revived by an announcement from creator Saturn Nolastname- a season two would be released soon. Frantically, Dex made a meme about season one episode two, with the car salesman meme. Xe edited "chaos keepers" onto the car salesman, "the rarelynoticed" on the car, and "this bad boy can fit so many stripper outfits into it."

That had been... an interesting episode, to say the least. The chaos keepers had been talking about the antagonists of "Sophie and the Dark Duck"- a rebel group called the Rarelynoticed. In the information packet they'd been given, it was confirmed that the Rarelynoticed wore black cloaks and armbands, but no other clothes had been mentioned. Somehow, the chaos keepers came to the conclusion that the Rarelynoticed really wore neon pink leotards and green stripper heels, then drew this idea.

Needless to say, the Tumblr staff did not let them write that into the book. Nor did Lynn, the unofficially chosen leader of the group. Unfortunately for her, this didn't stop the chaos keepers from drawing more of these- or the fandom from making a ton of memes. In addition to the car salesman meme, a post with Drake saying no to "wearing normal fucking villain outfits" and yes to "leotards and stripper heels" gained popularity within the small fandom.

Though nothing could match the absolute shock of seeing the Rarelynoticed stripper outfit for the first time, Dex decided to rewatch the episode anyway- it was funny to see the chaos keepers freak out, and maybe xe could get some good screen captures. The good Saturn Nolastname indulged xem, and xe captured an excellent scene of most of the chaos keepers either laughing or screaming at the Rarelynoticed stripper outfits, with Kimber- one of xyr favorites- sitting on the side, explaining to Juno and Kaitee why Bianca Cracker was bisexual.

Xe went over to dumbles, posted the picture, added an image description, and captioned it "Live photo of me not caring when my friends talk about sex/romance." Xe chuckled to xemself- this really was how it felt to be aroace. Xe tagged it as aromantic and asexual as well, since dumbles added flag colors. Smiling, xe went to go check xyr notifications.

Xyr jaw dropped when xe saw that @lordofthesnuggles- Fitzroy (Dex didn't know thons middle name) Vacker thonself had liked and reblogged all three of xyr memes, even adding compliments in the tags! Xe'd had a bit of a platonic crush on Fitz for... a really long time, but xe always felt too awkward to talk to thon, so it was nice to see that thon appreciated xyr humor.

Feeling energized- and excited to procrastinate on xyr math homework- Dex went to watch the next episode: Dark Duck Is Jewish Now. Being Jewish xemself, this was a really funny episode to xem.

Lynn had been writing a sort of spinoff- it would be called fanfiction, but it was for her own story- about some of the Dark Duck characters celebrating Christmas, and added a throwaway line about Bianca and Finn Cracker celebrating Hanukkah. Then, her fiance, Shai, had taken that idea and run with it, writing a list of ideas about what would happen if the Cracker family was Jewish. Hir friend Sam had jumped on the idea, and soon they had abandoned writing the actual Dark Duck in favor of writing a story about Jewish Dark Duck characters. Some of the other Jewish chaos keepers, like Ref and Cat, helped out.

To be honest, it kind of surprised Dex that no one had made a joke about the Jewish Crackers just being matzah, so xe supposed xe would have to be the first.

Xe posted that observation, quickly getting a like from Fitz- which made xem smile. After a few minutes, Dex posted another meme: Shai and Sam standing in front of a door with a sign that read "elves don't have religion," and them saying "This sign won't stop me, because I can't read!"

It was accurate.

While that episode was great for Jewish representation, and funny, the Banana Noir episode was just plain weird.

It focused less on the Dark Duck than most of the other episodes, and was more about the crazy interactions of the chaos keepers. The episode was named for Banana Noir, who was really Cat Noir, but in a banana suit. Banana Noir was the son of Mellie, who looked like a shark, and Nora, who had platonically married faer. The mothers tried to arrange a marriage between him and Akki, who loved the side characters of the Dark Duck series. However, Akki wanted to marry Amelia. After a lot of shit that basically no one understood, Banana Noir's attempts were thwarted, and Lynn officiated the wedding between Akki and Amelia.

Yeah, Dex had no idea what the fuck was going on either. Xe'd watched an episode of Twins of the Chaos and a youtube video by arsonpog analyzing the Banana Noir chronicles, as it had been dubbed by the chaos keepers, and both expert opinions seemed to agree that Saturn Nolastname and the rest of the writers had probably been on crack when they made that episode.

The next episode made slightly more sense, though it was a low bar. After taking a break from the "official" Dark Duck story, the chaos keepers began collectively writing a Cinderella story about the characters Sophia and Bianca. People weren't allowed to be queer in the official story, but the chaos keepers still wanted to have fun with their obviously gay characters.

Even to the viewers of the show, who only received secondhand information about the Dark Duck characters, knew there was no way any of them, let alone all of them, were allocishet. The exact identities weren't entirely clear- when Dex had made edits of the characters' official art and xyr headcanons for their pride flags, a few people had disagreed- but both the chaos keepers and the fandom knew that despite what Shannon said, Sophia and Bianca were in love, and their Cinderella story should have made it in to the official Dark Duck story.

While excerpts of the Cinderella story were quoted in the show, most of it was left unclear, so Biana had taken it upon aerself to write aer own version of it. Dex was expecting an update later  that day, actually, or maybe the next. Ae wasn't always 100% reliable with aer update schedule. Still, Dex looked forward to when it eventually did come.

After the brief calmness from the Sophianca Cinderella episode, season one episode six, Amsterdam, exploded back into chaos. A few of the chaos keepers decided to discuss a fake scene in the book in which crazy shit went down, with the scene supposedly being located in Amsterdam. It had never been written and was never going to be, but everyone discussed it like it was real. Some of the highlights involved all the Dark Duck girls having swords (and the chaos keepers being gay for them), and a speedboat chase scene through the canals. Fitz had a popular theory that the chaos keepers would actually travel to Amsterdam in order to commemorate this crazy part of their lives. Almost as popular as that was a meme Dex made, with a man labeled "chaos keepers discussing amsterdam" and gesturing feverishly to a wall covered in papers and red string.

Of course, episode seven (Dark Duck Disney) was chaotic too. Everything was chaotic with this group, it was in the title. Shannon announced that the winning Dark Duck story would be adapted into a Disney movie. After past experience with terrible book to movie adaptations, the chaos keepers panicked. They panicked so much that it became major news within their school, which until then, had been largely ignoring the chaos keepers. Once the discussion about the movie settled down, they talked a lot about how in awe they were that their Dark Duck shenanigans were trending within the school.

But of course, none of that compared to the last episode of the season...

Dex changed xyr profile picture to include an ominous pair of teal eyes and sighed.

@sebastianshaw​ asked  A, C, G, L, P , Q, S, T, W

A: Who are their exes? Do they still keep in touch?

It sounds funny to Tony, when he says he only has two exes and they’re both women. Well how can that be? He’s a gay man, and he’s never had sex with a woman, but both of his exes are women, and both of them (rightfully) pin the downfall of their relationship on him. 

At least with Wendy, they ended somewhat amicably, even if he stood at the front of that church for two and a half hours, waiting for her, worried that something had happened to her. When her bridesmaid had shown up and told him that Wendy was calling the wedding off, it had been a relief. Tony hadn’t really wanted to be married anyhow. It was just what had been expected of him, and that was the wrong reason to get married, the wrong reason to trap someone with him, tie them down.

Jeanne... well, what could he say about the woman who had accused him of murdering her father, who had tried to get him locked in prison for a crime he hadn’t committed? He didn’t blame her at all. After everything he’d done to her, the lies that he had told her, he’d deserved to be treated the way he was, to be accused of murder, to be treated however she saw fit. Hell, if she’d wanted to kill him, he wouldn’t have blamed her. He was the reason her father was dead. 

Not being in contact with either of them was what was best for them, and him. They deserved better and he- well all he wanted was peace. He didn’t want fighting, didn’t want to feel the need to justify his actions. He’d done what he’d done, and it was terrible. He knew that. He could never take that back. Best for all of them if they just moved on.

C: If they had to pick one sport to play/watch which would it be?

Getting into football had been an accident. He’d needed to pick a sport when he was at RIMA and he hated riflery with a passion. But he could throw a ball like no one’s business, so he’d joined the football team. When he’d discovered that he was actually good at it- well it had taken care of his bullying problem almost immediately. No one wanted to bully the star quarterback, even if he was only a freshman with ADHD and behavior problems. 

Maybe that’s why he loved it so much. Football had been his sanctuary, the thing that had saved him from being harassed by the other kids. No one liked the rich kid, no matter that most of the other kids were also from well-off families. No one liked that he knew more about war than they did, despite not coming from a military family. No one liked that he was constantly making jokes, that he couldn’t hold still in class.

Oh, but they liked him on the field. When he threw that ball in a perfect spiral, everyone liked him then. That was when everyone cheered his name, wanted to be his friend. Football made him popular, in a way that he’d never thought he would be. It was amazing, how much people changed the second they discovered he was good at the sport. He just wanted to bask in it, in the praise that they heaped upon his head. It was such a nice change from the derision that was usually pointed at him, he didn’t think anyone would blame him.   

G: What was their first job? 

It was a busy Friday night. He was late to work because of the football game, the same football game that meant that they were busy. He skidded into the kitchen wearing his post-game sweatshirt and apologized in rapidfire Spanish, pulling off the sweatshirt and hanging it up, grabbing his apron instead. There was a sink full of dishes, but he was good with that. It wouldn’t take him long to wash them all up, get everything clean. He was good at that, at physical work like that. He’d had a lot of practice.

Tia Maria came and patted him on the shoulder, congratulated him on the big win, and Tony smiled at her, his entire face brightening. He loved this job, loved the family that he’d come to have here, the people he’d befriended. Between Maria and Pablo, the owners of the restaurant, he never went hungry. They were always sending him home with food, and Joaquin was always teaching him how to make new recipes when they had some downtime. There wouldn’t be any downtime tonight, but that was okay. He was ready to work. That’s what he was paid to do, after all.

L: How often do they post on their social media accounts? 

Twitter was a new thing to him, but he liked it. He could follow all his favorite actors, comment on their movies. He’d once upset Mark Hamill by mentioning the Star Wars Holiday Special, something his Nonna had gifted him with when he was six. 

He didn’t post often though. He couldn’t afford to. He was still an undercover agent, after all, and he couldn’t afford to blow his cover. Risking his job for the sake of posting a few selfies seemed dumb, childish and immature, and Tony wasn’t about to do that. It wasn’t safe, for the people that he protected when he went undercover. It was why he didn’t have a Facebook, or any other social media outlet. It wasn’t like he knew anybody he would want to keep in contact with using social media. The only frat brother he was still friends with was Steve, and they called each other on the phone, met for coffee. There wasn’t the need for social media. 

Maybe he was just old. He didn’t see the point behind these websites he would never use, though. They weren’t for him. 

P: What are their thoughts on going vegan? Could they do it?

He’d gone kosher after Ziva started working for NCIS. It was an easy change to make for him. The hardest thing to give up was shellfish, but he’d made the adjustment. It was just easier. They didn’t always label their lunches, had habits of grabbing whatever bag was in the fridge and just eating what was inside, no care for whose it was. Tony wasn’t about to make Ziva eat something that she couldn’t because he was too selfish to give up pork, too selfish to adjust his diet. 

But vegan? He had no problem with vegetables. There were certain times of the year, centered around certain Jewish holidays, where Tony didn’t cook with meat at all. But that had everything to do with the fact that Ziva was always grateful when she grabbed his lunch and it was something she could eat, saving her the trouble of having to order out, hoping that the Jewish deli had someone who could get onto the Navy Yard. They both knew McGee wasn’t going to change the way he ate, so Ziva grabbing his lunch was out of the question.

Still, vegan... as much as he loved vegetables, Tony also loved meat, loved the taste of it, the way it added flavor to his food. He had no problem with other people going vegan, that was their choice. It wasn’t the healthiest dietary choice they could make, and that was coming from the athletic nutrition courses he’d taken when he was studying for his degree, but it wasn’t the worst either. It just- it wasn’t for him. He needed proteins from meat, needed the flavor too. He respected the choices others made for their own bodies but it wasn’t for him, that was for sure.  

Q: Do they have a good luck charm they often have with them? 

It was stupid. The thing had been given to him as a joke. Holding onto it was just silly. But there it sat, on the corner of his desk where everyone could see it, where it had sat for years, since his Captain in Baltimore had given it to him. He didn’t even like Mighty Mouse, had never seen the show. So why was it that the stapler meant so much to him? He couldn’t rightfully say. But the thought of getting rid of it-

He couldn’t do it. That stapler had been there through too many rough cases, too many cases that Tony shouldn’t have solved, by all accounts, but he still had. He’d used it on too many reports that he never should’ve been able to close. Maybe it was dumb, to consider a little blue and red piece of metal and plastic his good luck charm, but he did. Some cops had their St. Michael medallions, and he respected that, but he wasn’t Catholic, and he’d never really believed in the saints. 

His stapler though. His stapler brought him luck. It brought him success. He loved his stapler. Even after it came out that the Captain was a dirty cop, Tony couldn’t get rid of his stapler. It had seen too much, had done too much for him. The stapler and he, they were a team. He wasn’t going to give up on it. It hadn’t given up on him.

S: How do they tell someone they’re sorry?

Rule 6 existed for a reason. Never say you’re sorry. So Tony had to find other ways to apologize when he screwed up, because he screwed up a lot. He couldn’t just not apologize and move on. Because while Gibbs may hate apologies, he also hated it when Tony ignored his mistakes, completely acted like everything was normal. It was a tricky game he was playing, a complicated dance, but he was figuring it out, slowly but surely.  

He didn’t apologize anymore, not after the first half dozen times those words had passed his lips. No, now he owned up to his mistakes and sucked it up when the slap came to the back of his head, biting back the wince that was inevitable. Gibbs never pulled his punches with Tony the way he did with McGee and Ziva. 

“Right boss. Won’t happen again, boss.” That’s what Gibbs wanted to hear, the only apology he would accept. It left a dirty taste in Tony’s mouth, but if that’s what Gibbs wanted, that’s what Tony would do. This wasn’t about Tony’s preferred method of apology, it was about what Gibbs wanted.

T: How quick are they to cry?

He didn’t cry after Kate died. He was emotionally drained, but he didn’t cry. He didn’t think that he could, too drained and angry at the world, at Ari, at Gibbs, at himself. He couldn’t cry. He could only think about revenge, about getting back at the bastard who had taken his partner away from him.

He did cry when Jeanne left him. He’d loved her, in his own way. Loved her as best as he could. But everything he’d ever told her had been a lie. Everything about himself, about their relationship, about all of it. It had all been a lie. How could he have loved her if he had lied to her constantly, if he hadn’t been honest with her? So why did losing her feel the way it did? He hadn’t ever slept with her but their relationship was something more, something emotional, something that he could just- it hurt to lose it. And he cried.

He wasn’t positive what he was crying for. Maybe it was the loss of Jeanne. Maybe it was the loss of himself. After all, he’d given up a lot of his own self respect and pride in order to go undercover the way he had. He’d sacrificed a lot of who he was in order to be who Jeanne knew. He didn’t even know who he was anymore, half the time. Maybe that was why he was crying. Maybe it was just the broken heart. He didn’t know anymore.    

W: Would they be starstruck if they met a celebrity? 

Growing up the way he did, he’d rubbed elbows with a lot of old money, people with names that would be recognized. He’d met a lot of people who others would consider famous, and it had been just another Tuesday for him. It wasn’t unusual for Senior to namedrop someone important, even today, wasn’t unusual for Tony himself to have connections that went beyond what a normal NCIS agent would have. He didn’t think anything of it.

He wasn’t the type to really care about somebody’s fame. Why would he, when he’d grown up around money? He’d gone to school with Frank Sinatra’s nephew, the closest he’d gotten to knowing the man himself, and he’d never once freaked out about it. The kid was a bully, and Tony hadn’t wanted anything to do with him, even if his uncle was one of the coolest singers he’d ever heard. 

Maybe it was a rich kid thing, a money thing. Maybe it was a Tony thing. Fame and money just didn’t matter to him. Not really, not anymore. Maybe they never had.  

can you go into any detail about why never have i ever isn't good? i really wanted to watch it, but if it's trash i don't wanna bother. thank you!!

alright I sat on this for a few hours so I could finish the rest of the show and write this in the morning and now it is morning. also there are going to be quite a few spoilers in here so just...do what you will with that knowledge i guess. also, if you still want to watch the show, I’m not gonna stop you. I binged the entire season yesterday and I have final exams next week. warning: this is super long.

ngl I was planning on just deleting the post you’re referring to, because at that point I had only watched half the season but I already saw a lot of things I didn't like: an Indian character who seemed a little ashamed of her heritage, too many pr*yanka ch*pra references, some strange and unnecessary ableism (i mean, all ableism is unnecessary but this particularly so), bad stereotypical Indian accents, the main character thirsting over white/white passing boys (this is Mindy's show, can you expect anything different?), and a disgusting amount of fatphobia (there is one fat character who is Devi’s age and his only personality traits are eating and making a fool of himself). 

the show also conflates indian and hindu a few too many times, even though there is a self-aware quip about it. and there’s a joke thrown in about m*di that *i guess* is supposed to show that this family at the least knows who the prime minister of india is? but with india’s current political situation and the knowledge of the atrocities committed by m*di I really did not like that a reference to him was thrown in there. I suppose it is an example of how the desi diaspora (particularly upper-caste, upper middle class Indians) are quite disconnected from the homeland, but like...does Mindy not watch the news? m*di literally committed genocide.

there’s also a lot of antisemitism. Devi’s academic rival, Ben, is introduced like a walking Jewish stereotype: just check out this post because op says it better than I could. there’s also a joke where Devi says out loud that she wishes Ben was killed by N*zis. I honestly don’t even know how that made it into the show and none of the context surrounding the joke is funny.

okay on to my personal qualms with the show. I wasn’t a fan of either of the love interests. neither of them really respected Devi as much as I would have liked, and personally, I found it tiring to see women/girls of color chase after men/boys who can’t reciprocate in the same way. I didn’t love how paxton (the cool jock love interest) kept leading Devi on and would then act aloof and I honestly would have preferred if Devi and ben hadn’t kissed, because I just prefer their frenemy dynamic over some potential romantic one. i also just could not relate to Devi at all...I was just too repressed in high school to relate to anything Devi does. she’s also just super unlikeable in the first eight episodes, but she kind of grew on me in the last two. I saw a comparison made between Devi coping with her grief with hypersexuality and the coping mechanisms used by the main character on Fleabag, which kind of made sense to me, even though they are pretty different shows otherwise. and she does get some comeuppance for her actions towards the end. even then, devi never really confronts her trauma directly, especially her paralysis, and her actions are excused too many times for comfort.

a lot of the storyline depended on teen romcom cliches, and were sort of excused because the main characters are poc. i wish this trend didn’t happen so often, especially when it comes to mainstream stories of young women and girls of color. i was also surprised that this show doesn’t really give much screentime to other indian kids that Devi might interact with. that would have been a much more three-dimensional approach to a show like this, but i also think this had to be sacrificed to keep up with the teen romcom aspect of the show. i was also not a fan of the will-schuester-wannabe history teacher. 

BUT (if you have been reading this much I sincerely applaud you) there were a few things I did like about the show. I loved Devi’s friends and honestly if I had her friends in tenth grade I would never ditch them for some boy. when I was a high school sophomore, I was closeted, had a musical theatre obsession, and ate dosas for dinner so I felt like a mix of all three of the girls. in fact, I found eleanor’s and fabiola’s storyline to be a lot more compelling that Devi’s at times. i even really enjoyed ben’s arc (and loved the andy samberg narration in his episode, especially because he pronounced Devi’s name with the soft “dh” sound...absolutely wonderful!). i thought fabiola’s coming-out scene was sweet (even though it was very textbook) and i thought eleanor being dramatic was very funny. 

in my opinion, the last two episodes were the best. we really got to dig deeper into Devi’s relationship with her mother and it was eerily reminiscent of my own. she gets told that she has to move to india because family is there, so she naturally fights with her mom and storms off. that literally happened to me (minus the running away part...I actually did end up moving to India in the middle of high school), and other moments like those just hit close to home and made me want to finish the show. i personally didn’t relate to the whole “am I indian or not Indian enough” struggle until I started living in india, but my indian friends who did go to high school in america were all too sympathetic to this struggle. 

so overall, there are some bad things and some good things about this show. if you relate to the premise of the show at all, you may like it more than I did, but if you were raised in india (which is the demographic that most of the criticism is coming from) or generally enjoy good writing, you probably won’t like this as much. i do hope that this show helps pave the way for some representation that brings more nuance to indian-american identity, and different types of indian-american identities (working-class, immigrants who aren’t upper-caste, people who have been living in the states for several generations, LGBT people, indian muslims/christians/sikhs/etc) without unnecessarily bringing down other minorities. and once again, i am really happy that a girl named maitreyi ramakrishnan is getting famous and NOT anglicizing her name. 

i hope this response was good and if you do decide to watch, let me know how you like it!

Why do people criticize Jojo Rabbit?

We'd say that this is uncharted territory for distributor Disney, but the company did previously give us their futures face. Hmm. I saw Jojo Rabbit in the best place I could for movies, in my opinion.

For this list, we're looking at why Tyco ITTS 2019 black comedy has proven. So polarizing for critics just to clarify the critical reception thus far has been mostly positive and even watch mojo gave the film a rave review following its TIFF premiere.

Nevertheless, we can definitely see why a movie like this. Wouldn't win audiences over everywhere. Hey Joe, Joe, my old friend. Hi adults. Number 10, the controversial premise. I don't think I can do this last. Of course you can simply by reading it synopsis, you can tell why Jojo rabbit has stirred up so much controversy.

In the midst of world war II, a young German boy named Joe Joe dreams of becoming a Nazi upon learning that his mother has been harboring a Jewish girl in the attic though, Jo Jo begins to reevaluate his outlook on life. I tell them you will be in big trouble throughout this coming of age journey. Our titular character is guided by his imaginary friend.

Is it worth to watch Jojo Rabbit full movie

Who just so happens to be a flamboyantly incompetent, Adolf Hitler, as inventive as the premises, it was guaranteed to ignite passionate feelings. Critics are unsurprisingly split as to whether the film's premise is inspired or irresponsible. I wish more of our young boys had your blind fanaticism. Okay.

Number nine, how it stacks up to other satires and this world is ruined for everyone and the good earth is rich and can provide for everyone. The way of life can be free and beautiful, but we have lost the way Jojo rabbit. Isn't the first film to satirize Hitler or Nazis 1940 twos to be, or not to be was criticized upon release for its farcical, spin of Nazi occupied Poland.

But today is viewed as a comedy classic. I know you're quite famous in London kernel. They call you concentration camp Earhart. Yes. Yes, we do the concentrating and the poles do the camping Hitler. Technically isn't the protagonist and the great dictator. It's obvious who Charlie Chaplin was parodying. We can learn more about actress playing mother Jojo on Wikipedia.

Arguably the most famous sendup of Nazi Germany is Mel Brooks. The producers. In which two con men put on an intentionally horrible musical entitled springtime for Hitler. Practically a love letter to this own run a week week. Are you kidding display? It's got the close on page four. Some critics are ready to place Jojo rabbit alongside these revolutionary respected comedy.

What do critics write in reviews about Jojo Rabbit?

Others, however, would claim that the film has more in common with the bridge sit-com Hile, honey I'm home, which was so misguided and tasteless that it only lasted one episode. Oh 10 night. You will make an schnitzel. What a joke. You must be real mad at me, honey. I'm a very, very bad Hitler. Number eight, what's going on in the real world right now?

Fuck man. The house, although world war II is in the past. The same, unfortunately can not be said about bigotry. Nowhere was this more apparent than at the 2017 unite the right rally in Charlottesville, which attracted several hate groups, including neo-Nazis. Since prejudice and discrimination remain prevalent in today's world.

It's obvious why various critics would object to a film that makes light of Nazi Germany. Nevertheless, satire can reflect modern times as well as history in ways that straightforward drama can't. Some might argue that now isn't the right time for a Nazi satire, but others would debate that society needs a movie like Jojo rabbit. A great story about the Irishman is here.

Now more than ever, you're not to nuts. Jojo, tenue kids likes dressing up in front of you. If somebody wants to be part of a club. Number seven, the humor, the best weekend ever.

Soundtrack in the highest level of production

Wow. Your enjoyment of Jojo rabbit will hinder on how hard you laugh. Or of course, if you laugh, the film didn't tickle. Roger Freedman. Funnybone who wrote in his showbiz four one, one review Jojo rabbit is actually borderline antisemitic offensive on many levels and not even funny. Sam Adams of slate couldn't have disagreed more proclaiming for Jojo rabbit comedy.

Isn't a means to minimize, but to analyze wise, to pry at the way, hateful ideologies can be embraced as a comfort and how beneath their promise to. Blame how the world really works is an understanding no more sophisticated than a child's it's time to buy some books. Since humor is subjective, we guess there isn't always going to be a clear line between what's offensively funny and what's just plain offensive.

Oh God. Number six. Jewish jokes. Did you know, Jews can Z to each other's mind. So tell us, you know, who saw one? They could look just like us of Tyco. ITT satire is clearly the Nazis. However, the director who's of Jewish and Maori heritage also pokes fun at Judaism. Hi, well, the real Jordan Rumi was horrified by the audience's reception at the screening he attended.

Writing, you have no idea how it is to be surrounded by thousands of people laughing at jokes, specifically directed at Jews. That being said, Rumi seemed to be in the minority of a group that found the film. Hilarious. As with Borat and South park, many would argue that the humor and Jojo rabbit isn't intended to mock the Jewish faith, but to criticize how ignorant and Semites are a cute number five, the life is beautiful comparison, right?

Jojo Rabbit's reaction to mom's death

Yeah. Critics have stocked a Jojo rabbit up against numerous other films. But life is beautiful. Seems to be the one that's invited the most comparisons this 1997, Italian dromedy also presented world war II through a lighthearted lens, centering on a Jewish man who uses humor and imagination to shield his son from the horrors of the Holocaust. It's interesting what they write about this movie on Amazon.

Well, the film won an Academy award for best foreign language film, and even got nominated for best picture. There were those who found the movies comedic tone, inappropriate. Over two decades later, we will continue to debate if the movie is a life affirming fable or a dated misfire. It's actually eerie how much these two films have in common, especially since both one TIFs peoples choice award.

That is the strongest thing in the world. Number four, is it shocking enough? I was your age. I had an imaginary friend come in so much stuff even before the first trailer dropped Jojo rabbit was being built up as one of 20 nineteens most controversial movies. Weirdly enough though, some critics have expressed disappointment that the film isn't more shocking.

Well, audiences have arguably gotten more sensitive with time. There are still patrons who crave comedy that pushes the envelope to its limits. It's time to burn some books. Brian Talarico of the Chicago sun times felt Jojo rabbit played it too safe. Writing the final scenes of Jojo rabbit are too easy for a film that needs to be dangerous and daring. 

Are the best scenes already included in the trailer?

Even if the film doesn't go all out with its edgy concept. Seeing Tyco, ITT dresses, Adolf Hitler will be more than enough to make a few jobs drop. What am I going to do? No idea. Going down the house in Glen Winston church one, negotiate number three. It's depiction of Nazis. The playlist Charles romesco took issue with the films, humanization of antisemites writing.

YTT concedes that a good percentage of Nazis really do hold hate in their heart. But maintains that at least some of them aren't you two seem to be getting on. Well, it doesn't seem like a bad cost. How much pain and suffering the Nazis caused many audiences will understandably struggle with this message.

However, if Ron Jones proved anything with his third wave social experiment in 1967, it's that even ordinary people can get swept up in the dangerous ideals of fascism. Likewise, Jojo rabbit poses, a challenging question. If we're not willing to acknowledge the bad and the good in people, how can we ever rid ourselves of prejudice?

Nothing makes sense anymore. Yeah, I know. It's definitely not a good time to be a Nazi. Number two it's message. And mother took me. She's kind me like a person, whatever your thoughts on Jojo rabbit, Tyco ITT clearly wanted to spread an anti hate message. YTT also claims that he started writing the screenplay before Nazis regained relevance in the media.

There's little doubt that why TTS intent was noble, whether or not the final product successfully gets his message across is where critics are split. A doubt of the a V club felt that making fun of Nazi Germany had been done before. Thus taking away from the movies, broader anti hate theme. Peter Howell begged to differ in his Toronto star review writing Taika YTT knocks it out of deer park with the meaningful lunacy of his anti hate satire, which is equal parts.

Adolf Hitler's thread in the movie

Mel Brooks, West Henderson, and  own whimsical brilliance growing up too fast. Ten-year-olds and the celebrating war and talking politics. Before we continue, be sure to subscribe to our channel and ring the bell to get notified a better latest videos. You'll have the option to be notified for occasional videos or all of them.

If you're on your phone, make sure you go into your settings and switch on notifications. Number one it's depiction of Hitler. Well, they call me a scared rabbits. Okay. Let's address the giant rabbit in the room. Tyco YTT spends most of his screen time prancing around in a Nazi uniform and toothbrush mustache. If you want, you can read here about preparations for making a movie and other curiosities.

Without a doubt, YTT, didn't set out to deliver a serious or dignified portrayal of Hitler. Rather YTT aspired to make the fewer look as goofy and idiotic as possible. Oh, . Just painting Hitler as a wacky, even likable buffoon desensitized us to the atrocities. He committed though. Some may say yes while others may argue that it leaves audiences more informed and open-minded.

At the end of the day, everyone is going to have a different opinion of Jojo. Let them say whatever they want. People used to say a lot of nasty things about me. Oh, this guy's a lunatic. Oh, look at that psycho. He's going to get us all killed. Do you agree with our picks, check out this other recent clip from watch mojo and be sure to subscribe and ring the bell to be notified about our latest videos.

Here they were once again, only under very different circumstances. This was the wedding they were supposed to have, with family and friends surrounding them, with no worries about going into labor or feeling uncomfortable in a wedding gown, lavish and so very much them. Of course, life always had a funny way of making things happen not quite the way you want it to, and now here they were, almost 5 months into their marriage, finally having the formal ceremony and reception. The legals were done in Indianapolis City Hall with only Lux for a witness, but Coryn and Max knew that they’d never hear the end of it if they didn’t have a ‘formal religious’ ceremony, especially from his mother. It took a month or two of hurried planning and some, frankly, overpriced invoices from florists and caterers, but they’d managed to pull off something that spoke to who they both were, while making the extended families happy… or at least Coryn hoped.

She’d managed to learn a little bit about Jewish wedding ceremonies in her time reading up on the faith during the early stages of her pregnancy; having chosen to raise Chloé in the faith opened her eyes to so many things she hadn’t ever considered, but she did find a few bits of tradition that spoke to her, and she’d be ok with letting them happen, but made it abundantly clear to her very-liberal yet very-Catholic grandmother that, no, it’s not just a Jewish wedding. There’d be a brief mention of some vaguely Pagan traditions (she’d given up protesting a while ago that she didn’t identify as Pagan, no one really listened to her anyhow, and there was no way she was having a Catholic wedding since the only non-lapsed Catholic in the family was her Nina.) It was a good mix of their lives, their stories, and the household they now had.

What made it all easier was the ceremony being held at their home in Long Island. The massive chunk of land they lived on, conveniently near the shore, was an idyllic setting for a party the night of the summer solstice, and Coryn had basically begged people to come stay before because of all it tended to get rather echoing and lonely when Max would be away. Now, it echoed less with loneliness and instead, the rather boisterous chatter of family, friends, and coworkers as they made their way to their seats, the ceremony almost ready to begin.

For the second time, Max wasn’t nervous. He was more amused than anything, watching his cousins, friends, colleagues completely shocked with how well he was taking everything. Jokes about how this was his second marriage floated around and he laughed along before giving them a pointed look when they joked about there possibly being a third. No, this was it. She was it. Nothing could pull him away from her.

His closest...friend, more of a father than anything, Ethan was just as calm as him. Although Max was the first to get married, Ethan was the first to go through this entire actual wedding day. And every so often Max found himself looking to the older man for some indication that he was doing things right. It was more of a calming reassurance than anything.

Even though they were in the same building, he knew his mother and the rest of Coryn’s party would throw a riot if he tried to make his way over to where she was to see Chloé. He settled on agreeing to a Facetime call, pulling away from the rest of his group to talk to his daughter. Although he knew that Coryn was the one for him before Chlo came along, she was the force that pulled them together sooner.  He didn’t keep her long, just enough to get in a few words that she only made noises in response to. After the call, he was more than ready to meet his wife at the altar.

Coryn and Max’s mothers made a scene of getting Coryn out of the way, while Chloé babbled away at the phone screen that was displaying Max’s face, despite her protesting that ‘obviously he’s seen me, we’re already married!!’ It was of no use though, and after being hurried away, a few final details (a family heirloom pearl necklace, some last few flowers braided into her hair, small little tokens of protection tucked into her bouquet) were completed before it was time. Finally, everyone had gotten themselves seated, and the ceremony could begin.

Brushing at the sleeves of her gown, she waited for the cue from one of the event planners she’d hired before making her way down the aisle. It felt like something from a movie, the sight of family and friends crowded together, an aisle covered with fabric and flower petals, and at the end, an ornately decorated chuppah covered in boldly colored flowers… with her husband standing beneath it. No nerves were in her body, instead it felt like the butterflies on her dress were in her stomach, fluttering about, making her want nothing more than to laugh at it all.

They’d chosen the Summer Solstice ‘because it seems witchy,’ as Max had put it, and here now, at nightfall, with the sun setting over the waves, the twinkling of fairy lights in the distance of the trees in their yard, it really did seem magical. It landing on a Friday night, a day not only deemed a day of love in most witchcraft traditions, but also the start of the Shabbos in Judaism… it just all worked out. That was how their life had always seemed to be… just falling into place, everything at the right time, even when it seemed like it was almost impossible circumstances.

Coryn was broken from her thoughts at the happy gurgling of Chloé from where her mother sat with her, and as she stood at the altar, handing her bouquet to Dinah, she waved at her daughter, who was much more preoccupied trying to gnaw off one of the nubs on her teething toy.

She was some sort of dream demon. That had to be it. There was no other way Max could explain the magic that she seemed to put on him whenever he laid eyes on her. But especially not in that moment. Everything, from the flowers on her dress to the matching ones in her hair, made him smile. Of course, it was perfect for her. A perfect compliment to her timeless beauty.

So there he stood, smiling like a big dumb idiot as she walked towards him. For the rest of his life he would deny it, but it was obvious that he brought the back of his hand up to wipe at his eyes in a flash. (Ethan definitely got it on camera.)

There was no need to put on a front at that time. No need to hold back the emotions, the love in his eyes, as he stood across from her, his hand reaching forward to brush against hers before lacing their fingers together.

The justice of the peace nodded at them both, before starting off the ceremony.

“We’re gathered here today to celebrate the love and union of Coryn and Maxwell. Although already legally bound in marriage, we are here to celebrate before family and friends, ancestors, spirits, and the Divine, to bind them together in a union that surpasses the laws of man.

“In the culture of the Jewish people, wine… or in this case, grape juice, is the symbol of happiness. Although you are two distinct persons, both respecting the dignity of the other, you have chosen to unite your lives and to seek your happiness together. Your individual joy will be all the greater because it is shared. Your individual fulfillment will be all the stronger because it rests in the fulfillment of the other. Take this goblet and drink as an affirmation of your hope for the future, a future that welcomes your dreams and makes them real.

“Baruch Atah Adonai Eloheinu Melech Ha-Olam, boreh p’ri ha-gafen. Blessed are You, Eternal One our God, Ruler of the Universe, Creator of the fruit of the vine. Ashray hehatan v’hakalla sheyimtzoo ahava b’nee-soo-een. Happy are the groom and bride who find love in marriage.”

The few chuckles at the correction from wine to grape juice made even Coryn break, knowing that her not drinking was something she was worried about while looking into a traditional wedding ceremony, but after being handed the tiny silver goblet, she took a small sip, the sweetness of it seemingly waking her from the odd trance she’d already found herself in from the ritual of it all.

At first Max had worried that Coryn would feel overwhelmed by the traditions his faith brought, but he was happy to see she took it all in stride. When a droplet of grape juice escaped the corner of her mouth, he brought his hand up to wipe it away with his thumb and momentarily cradle her face in his hand. Then it was his turn and downed the rest of liquid, not wanting to waste a single drop of symbolic happiness.

Next, a multicolored braided cord was held in the justice’s hands, as she continued on.

“Next, in lieu of a ring ceremony, the couple have opted to do a handfasting ceremony. This cord will be tied around their clasped hands, to symbolize their unity.

“Like the element of earth, may you support one another, provide stability when the other finds themselves faltering, and help nurture each other to grow. Like the element of air, may you lift each others spirits, and act with wisdom in all the choices you make. Like the element of fire, may you love passionately, and become a beacon of light when the other finds themselves in the dark. Like the element of water, may your feelings flow freely and deeply, so you are never left wondering. By the earth below, and the stars above, let all that you do be done in perfect trust and perfect love.”

With a gentle squeeze at Max’s hands, Coryn watched as the cords were loosely wrapped around their clasped hands, before being knotted three times. She gave a quick glance over to her cousins who responded with thumbs up, clearly appreciating the nod to their shared love for all things witchy.

Max couldn’t help but throw in a little wink when fire and passion was mentioned, alluding to their instant chemistry. And he had to bite his tongue back when the word “deeply” was thrown out, knowing he would never hear the end of it from anyone if he chose that moment to make a lewd comment. He was lucky she was already in love with him, he thought to himself. Otherwise she had a long road ahead of her.

“And finally… the part everyone knows. The breaking of the glass. There are multiple interpretations of this tradition. Some say it is to recall the destruction of the temple at Jerusalem, a reminder that even in our most joyous occasions, we must remember the painful history of our ancestors that led us to this moment. Some say that it is to act as a reminder that relationships are fragile, that one wrong move can shatter it to pieces, and while it may be recovered, it can never be put back together again the way it was before. Go now into your marriage with this knowledge, and these blessings.”

Someone had been foolish enough to let Max pick what to break and for a good moment he had debated framing a picture of Coryn’s ex or father and going to town on the glass. But someone wise reminded him that the day was about their love, not about any petty arguments. So he opted instead for a glass bottle, filled halfway with black glitter. Biodegradable of course, because he’d never hear the end of it from Coryn or his sisters about polluting the Earth, all for a reference to Cor’s love of all things spooky and beautiful.

At the sound of the glass popping beneath Max’s foot, his entire side of the guests, and even some of Cor’s, shouted Mazel Tov! The justice of the peace could barely get the words out before Cor felt Max grab her, bringing her in for a deep kiss, her body feeling warm, full of magic, and happiness, and love.

( @betterthanyoulosers )

A Well Dressed Woman | Part 5

Summary: A jewish legend and a mysterious letter

The races had been over a month ago, and business for Jamie was booming. Cocaine sales were up by fifty percent, and she was on the verge of making a deal with the king of Camden town. Alfie Solomons would be one of the most beneficial partners in a long time, and he had close links to Thomas Shelby. She pretended not to notice the fact that he was, but Jamie hoped to god that it brought them back into contact.

“Ms. Pine, Mr Solomons is here for a meeting” Samson announced after knocking on the door of her office. He was intimidated by the man rambling beside him, and he was sure that Jamie would knock him down a peg. It’s probably what he liked most about her.

“Let him in, Samson, thank you” Jamie smiled, her desk clear of any paper, leaving only her pen out in the open. In her home office, she had a framed picture of herself and Linn together, but in public, she couldn’t let her sentimentalism show. Any feelings of love were seen as weakness, and Jamie only knew because she used them herself upon occasion. Mostly she just used brute force and blackmail, only good things, obviously.

“Shalom, Ms.” Alfie bellowed, opening his arms and then taking a seat, resting his hands on the desk, his cane leaning on the fine oak desk. “Shalom” He repeated after not getting instantly gratified with a reply.

“Shalom, Mr Solomons” Jamie smiled, shaking his hand politely “Have you had time to come to a decision over my proposition?”

“I have. I have also had time to do my research about you, Ms. My good friend, Thomas Shelby, tells me that he and you are business partners. Now, Thomas Shelby, OBE, MP, all those fucking titles he likes to call himself, will betray anyone for an extra sixpence. He’s betrayed me a couple times, and I have betrayed him in turn, which is by the by, but why are you so special? He even betrays the ones he fucks, so it can’t be that” Alfie rambled, looking her in the eye, making wild gestures with his hands.

“For once, Tommy Shelby has used his common sense, and realised that of all the people to try and turn over, I am not the one to pick” Jamie replied, making direct eye contact with him “Probably because he got to know me well enough during our meetings to understand that I am as mad as a shithouse rat”

“Sane enough to capitalise on cocaine, eh? Funny how your competition’s all gone missing, isn’t it, pet?” Alfie hummed, scratching his head. His comment on her competition didn’t please her at all. The snow business was hers and hers alone, and there were many reasons why that was.

“They came for my head, and so they went missing. Correlation isn’t always causation, Mr Solomons, and if I didn’t know better, I’d think you were insinuating something. Someone clever I once knew very closely saw it as a threat” Jamie told him, folding her arms on the desk.

“Bet that someone also had sapphire blue eyes. Sees everything as a threat, though, doesn’t he? It’s why he likes you so much, fucking hell. Dealing with proper insanity, I am” He groaned, realising that he should have heeded every warning Tommy had given him, even though they were vague and somewhat jokey “So, pet, the deal”

“My name is Pine - they both start with P but I assume you’re smart enough to understand that not all things with alliteration are the same thing, which is why I’m not calling you Arsehole” Jamie smiled with all the honesty of a conman “The deal is that you let my boys sell in Camden, and you let them sell to your employees”

“And I get twenty five percent of your cut?” Alfie completed, taken aback by her statement. Was she actually insane? Like… actually insane? “Got a brave mouth, you have”

“And a brave trigger finger to follow, Mr. Solomons” Jamie reminded him strictly “You get twenty of the cut I receive from your men.”

“We have a deal. You got an accountant for me to deal with?” He asked, “Or are you the accountant, Ms. Pine?”

“The accountant is this way, I’ll lead you. The Pine Pharmacutical company is a family business, you see.” She explained, getting up from her desk. Jamie walked towards her door “Well?”

“I’m coming, Ms. Pine. Do you make everyone call you that?” Alfie asked, getting up and catching up with her, following her down the hallway.

“No, my accountant calls me by my first name in private.” Jamie smirked, looking over her shoulder to check he was following her.

“Your accountant’s fucking related to you, though. Your good friend Mr. Shelby calls you your first name, doesn’t he? Wouldn’t tell me it, though. Is it embarrassing? Bet it’s Beatrice, or something of the sort” Alfie huffed, his cane tapping on the wood floors “Dark wood. Smart idea. Sabini has carpets - gets them replaced every time blood is spilt, which makes no fucking sense to me”

“Mr Shelby is persistent, and also no part of this deal, Mr Solomons. No-one has died in my offices, and if they were, it would be taken care of before blood could drip onto any of my flooring. Wood is just a style choice.” Jamie explained, knocking on the accountant’s door and then walking through.

“Ms. Pine, could you process a deal for myself and Mr. Solomons?” Jamie asked, then welcomed Alfie in.

“It’d be my pleasure, take a seat” Linn smiled, making eye contact with Alfie.

“See, I already like her more” Alfie nodded, sitting down and beginning to talk to Linn “But, question is, is she going to tell me her name?”

“Why don’t you ask her?” Linn smirked “The answer is no, but it starts with L, as it says on my door. Maybe a little more observancy would help you out?” She smiled, liking his coarse accent and wiry beard.

“I ain’t Sherlock, pet” Alfie chuckled, noticing that this office was a lot more homey than the business woman’s.

“Explains a lot” Linn joked, looking at him with a tentative smile.

--------

A few weeks after Alfie had shown up and business was booming up again for the Pines, Alfie not betraying them, probably because he was too busy with his weekly check in with Linn. Jamie, to say the least was pissed off. The deal was beneficial to the business so much that cancelling it just because she was concerned about his feelings towards her little sister was off of the table. If word got out she’d look unstable - she’d worked hard to get into the respectable position that she was in, and high class business men were like vultures, ready to peck at any exposed flesh.

“Ms Pine, a letter has come for you” Samson came in with a neat letter, placing it on her desk and nodding at her before walking back out.

Jamie really had no idea what she’d do without Samson - he was her first ever employee, and a few years younger than her. He was the son of the woman who owned the left building of their offices, and he had desperately needed a job. He was a loyal lad, and she appreciated his devotion. She’d met his wife and children a few times, and would send the child a christmas present every year. Jamie was touched to find out that she and Linn were referred to as the child’s aunts.

She looked at the plain white envelope, intrigued by the six letters on the back. ‘J.L.Pine’ Jamie laughed softly when she realised who it must be from - who she hoped it would be from, anyway. She’d been hoping for any type of correspondence, even though her life would be a lot easier without Tommy, without every night she slept filled with his tailored suits, sometimes specifically the lack of them.

‘Jamie,

           We have unfinished business, meet me at the Garrison, Tuesday 11am.

T. S.’

A breath she didn’t know she was holding escaped her mouth, her face breaking into a grin as she bounced her feet off of the floor repeatedly. So long without anyone to actually annoy and be annoyed back, she was longing for something, anything. Tommy Shelby was a bad, capitalistic man, and she wanted nothing more than to tell him that.

“Oh, no.” Linn groaned as she stepped in and drew the blinds. “Tommy?”

“Tommy. Wants me to meet him” Jamie nodded, smiling at her. She was fucking ecstatic to say the least, stretching upwards and flexing like a cat to exert only a small, minute fraction of the energy currently coursing through her veins. “Linn, this is good news! This is amazing news!”

“He could want to kill you, Jamie. Men like him are unpredictable in the most predictable way, please tell me you’re at least going in there with a gun. And a knife” Linn told her, deadpan “I’m happy for you, but you need to be cautious!”

“I’ll take a gun, and two knives, alright? Stop worrying!”

“Also, remember that thing you said about not being in love with him? Hm? What we saying about that now, Miss Jamie Leanne Pine?” Linn teased, sitting down at her desk “So, when am I becoming an auntie? If it’s a girl name it after me”

“I’m not in love! I just like his company whilst pretending not to, alright?” Jamie defended, crossing her arms, slouching back into her chair. “He’s also very pretty”

“Fucking hell” She muttered, running a hand through her hair “Fucking hell”

“Hey, bet you think Solomons is pretty, don’t you, pumpkin?” Jamie teased.

“Don’t go there! Yes.” Linn huffed with a smug smile. “Alfie is… strange. I like him”

“Aw, is my baby experiencing her first romantic attraction? Please say no, I genuinely want to behead him and cut off his legs” Jamie smiled.

“Please don’t, I like him” Linn whined softly, taking her hand over the desk “He’s nice! Would you rather I find someone who’s a dick?”

“Which is exactly why, pumpkin” Jamie told her with a smile “If he hurts you, they won’t find enough parts of his body to put in a coffin or to identify his body. Now let’s get you home, right?”

“Alright, mum”  Linn smiled, then pinked. The last time she’d called Jamie mum was on accident, and she was about thirteen.

“C’mon then” Jamie smiled, noticing the slip up but not acknowledging it, just pulling on her coat “You got your coat, love?”

Camp Camp Monster au

so i know just about everyone has their own monster au but uh i wanted to make one of my own!

i’m kinda nerdy about mythology and folklore so i had a lot of fun looking up different creatures to make my au unique!

long put under cut because i also have notes on what creature the characters are and why i chose them!

First, all characters related to Camp Campbell are Hybrid (or crossbreed), and the camp is basically a refuge for monsters, albeit in different ways for each character. I can go into that in another post. Also, as I started making this post I realized I missed Kevin and Miss Priss, but otherwise I have just about every character, excluding (most of) the townspeople.

David - Werewolf/Vampire Hybrid

I know werewolf is a pretty common choice for David, and that’s because it’s cute. Originally David was a Werewolf/Werecat Hybrid, but then I thought it’d be funny for him to be half Vampire because it’d conflict with his love for being out in the sun. 

Gwen - Witch Faun

Witch!Gwen was always going to be a thing, then I read a fic where she was some kind of Faun and loved that idea. I can link to the fic when I find it, but I’m gonna finish this long post first.

Cameron - Trickster

I didn’t know what to have Cameron as for the longest time because I felt that nothing fit well enough. I also wasn’t sure what his role would be, and I still don’t. However, having Cameron as a Trickster just seems like a good fit considering all the shit he gets up to.

Jasper - (Ghost) Werecat/Werewolf

So, of course Jasper is going to be a Ghost, and I always had him as some sort of Were-creature. First, he was just a Werewolf who eventually turned into a Ghost, but when I changed David’s type I felt that Jasper could take on his original idea.

Also, originally Jasper wasn’t going to have a real role in the au, but god if I don’t love the boy enough to actually keep him around.

Quartermaster - Homunculus

So, yeah, having the Quartermaster as a Undead seemed pretty fitting, and I couldn’t think of anything else. Then, while still researching I decided some kind of artificial life fit pretty well, especially with my headcanons for the QM in canon.

Max - Human

Yes, Max is the outlier in all of Camp Campbell. Max is the only Human. The idea here is that Max’s parents didn’t care enough about what camp they were sending him to that they accidentally ended up sending him to a camp that was secretly for monsters.

Neil - Harpy/Ziz

Neil with feathers just has ideas to it that I like. With his anxiety it gives way for crazy molting and giving him something to pull at. His mother is a Harpy, and his father is a Ziz. The Ziz is a creature from Jewish mythology that is described as a griffon-like bird; in the mythology it’s described as having a wingspan large enough to cover the sun, but Neil’s wings are nothing like that due to his Harpy side.

Nikki - Rougarou/Dryad

So...Werewolf!Nikki is a favorite, but I didn’t want to go that obvious...and went with a different version of the same thing. A simple explanation is that Rougarous are Werewolves from Cajun folklore, the name taken from loup-garou, which is the French word for a a Werewolf. I got Dryad from a fic as well, I think it’s the same one that had Faun!Gwen but I could be remembering wrong; it also ties in with her history in the Flower Scouts.

Dolph - Alp/Brownie

I always knew I wanted Dolph to be something like Brownie. Why? Because I think the idea of him being a household spirit is cute, I don’t know why but I just do. An Alp, is a night demon that is often likened to a Vampire; and its also some kind of Elf, which is just another kind of household spirit.

Nerris - Elf/Human

Kind of obvious, and I couldn’t think of anything that would fit her more. Her mother is an Elf, and her father is a Human.

Nurf - Minotaur/Dragon

Minotaur!Nurf just fits, so does Dragon!Nurf. I like the idea of an angry Nurf preparing to charge while snorting fire out of his nose.

Ered - Selkie/Vampire

I haven’t figured out how Ered’s dads fit in, but I always wanted her to be a Selkie. I love Selkies, I don’t know why, I just do, and I feel like it’s a good fit for her. I went through other ideas for the second kind, but ultimately decided on Vampire. I realize I have quite a few blood-suckers in this.

Preston - Satyr/Human

Okay so I know a popular choice for Preston is Unicorn, but I never understood why. Satyrs are always connected to fertility and sexual desire, yes, but they’re also featured in ancient Greek theatre. There used to an entire genre of Satyr plays, but now there is only one complete play remaining.

Harrison - Wizard

Also pretty self explanatory. In this au, a Wizard is a human from non-magical origins who is either born with magic or gains magic in life (as opposed to a Witch, who are distantly related to fairies and demons). I can get into the difference between Witches and Wizards some other time.

Space Kid - Changeling

I had a lot of trouble with Space Kid. I know a lot of people put him as an alien, and I get that, but I personally feel like it doesn’t fit him. I originally wanted him to be a creature that could never get to space, just to make his obsession with it more meaningful, but then the fact that his character is related to a real life person showed some complications. I thought about having him also present as a Wizard, but then got the idea of him being a Changeling (which also brought in some angsty ideas for my boy).

Gregg - Dwarf/Bigfoot

I didn’t know what to do with the older counselors, which led to this. Basically I chose this just for laughs. He’s half of one of the smallest creatures in folklore, and half of a cryptid that’s known for being large.

Darla - Adlet/Melusine

Somehow, I actually put thought into Darla, as opposed to my joking around with Gregg. First I was going to have her be some kind of Yokai, but then that had so many options that I felt didn’t work. I’ve seen her portrayed as a mermaid, and while I like that, I feel that mermaids are kind of tricky to use.

An Adlet is a race of creatures in Inuit mythology from Greenland. Adlets are basically people with human bodies and dog legs, the lower part being canine and upper part being human.

The Melusine is a water spirit from fresh water that’s much like a Mermaid. From waist up, the Melusine is a woman, but from waist below she is a serpent or fish. Sometimes the Melusine is depicted with having wings or two tails, or even both. The Melusine has also been called a Fairy.

Sasha - Dryad

Originally Sasha was a Nymph, but I wanted to give her a bit more. I wanted at least one of the Flower Scouts to be a Dryad, same as Nikki, and that just ended up going to Sasha.

Erin - Samodiva

Also fitting in with the Flower Scouts, a Samodiva is a Slavic nature spirit related to woodland fairies or nymphs.

Tabii - Pixie

Originally Tabii was going to be a more specific kind of nature spirit, but I ended up choosing Pixie for her due to her behavior. Pixies are mischievous and childlike, which I feel fits Tabii.

Pikeman - Rå, Bergsrå

God Pikeman was difficult at first, mostly because I was trying too hard and had a more difficult idea for the Woodscouts.

Don’t be confused with the Egyptian God Ra (note the little diacritic ring). A Rå is a spirit in Norse mythology that protects a certain land. There are different kinds of Rå: Skogsrå, Huldra, Sjörå, Havsrå, and Bergsrå. Skogrså and Huldra are connected to the forest but they’re female, Sjörå and Havsrå are freshwater and saltwater respectively, and Bergsrå are connected to mountains. I couldn’t have Pikeman be a Skogrså or Huldra, and it wouldn’t make sense to have his landform be water, so I decided on Bergsrå, which also ended up matching with Petrol, albeit unintentionally.

Jermy - Swamp Creature

I...don’t really have much to say here. I’m still not even fully happy with my decision, but I can’t be bothered much more than this.

Snake - Tiyanak

Originally I was going to make another joke by matching Snake with a Multo (the spirit of a dead person looking for justice) for a voice actor joke. I don’t remember why I changed it, but at this point I don’t want to think too hard on the Woodscouts.

A Tiyanak is a demon from Philippine mythology that is formed from the soul of an unbaptized, dead baby.

Petrol - Troll

I settled on Troll pretty fast, compared to the other Woodscouts at least, and it ended up matching with Pikeman unintentionally; Bergsrå live in mountains either with their relatives or with trolls.

Daniel - Demon

Self explanatory. I’ll probably have him be a specific kind of Demon once I flesh out the different kinds a bit more.

Jen - Demon

Also self explanatory. If I end up making Daniel a specific kind of Demon, Jen will probably end up being the same.

Bonquisha - Satyress

A Satyress is basically the female version of a Satyr. I chose this mostly due to the shirts Bonquisha wears, and lack of better ideas.

Katie (Waitress) - Faun

Okay, I don’t know why, but when I was making this list this just came out and I just can’t bring myself to change it so yeah. Katie is the waitress from the Bonquisha episode, and Katie is just the name that came to me. I feel like she’d be a cute little faun with all those freckles.

answer ALL those questions BIH 1-97 or however many there are

Great panini Michelle... every damn time...1. Would you have sex with the last person you text messaged?Uhhhhhhhh yeah2. You talked to an ex today, correct?Idk I guess technically?3. Have you taken someones virginity?Lmao nope4. Is trust a big issue for you?YEAH WHOO BOY YEAH I have a lot of issues and trust is a huge one5. Did you hang out with the person you like recently?Yes yup I definitely did. She told me I looked pretty and it was the first time I've ever been sure she was flirting with me. 6. What are you excited for?Going back to school holy shit. I've had a countdown going. I move back in at the end of the month. I can't fuckening wait. 7. What happened tonight?I told myself I was going to shower and clean my room but instead I'm sat here watching dan and Phil games videos?8. Do you think it’s disgusting when girls get really wasted?I don't think it's disgusting I just worry for their safety. I'm the mom friend that takes care of the lightweights. 9. Is confidence cute?Hell yeah10. What is the last beverage you had?Brisk iced tea with lemon 11. How many people of the opposite sex do you fully trust?I wanna say like three. I don't have an exact count because I've managed to direct my daily life to have very few males and I can only think of three men I regularly interact with. 12. Do you own a pair of skinny jeans?Yeah and my fuckin thighs are wearing a HOLE IN THEM which means I need to order a new pair but they're EXPENSIVE and I hate CAPITALISM 13. What are you gonna do Saturday night?That's a good fucking question. I have nothing planned, nothing to do within walking distance, and no license. Probably masturbate in all honesty. 14. What are you going to spend money on next?Well I just spent like $150 on an old navy order today so probably not clothes Oh you know what I need a new bookbag so probably that. IKEA has some good ones. 15. Are you going out with the last person you kissed?The only person I've kissed was for a scene in acting class so no. I had a really elaborate dream the other night where I was kissing my crush but alas also no. 16. Do you think you’ll change in the next 3 months?Oh for sure. 17. Who do you feel most comfortable talking to about anything?Honestly???? Reese. 18. The last time you felt broken?This is more or less a weekly to daily occurrence but the most intense instance I can recall was Saturday night at my cousin's wedding! Being most likely the only gay person out of a group of 300 people made up of mostly married couples with children was absolutely horrific because as soon as one cousin gets married the aunts start placing bets on who's next and each time I'm closer to the top of the list. Combine that with varied intrusive thoughts and you've got a lovely shitstorm of self loathing!!!19. Have you had sex today?Not ever m'dude20. Are you starting to realize anything?That if I want to be less anxious when shopping for clothing, I need to only shop at places that actually cater to my body type aka I've just accepted that I have a mom body and will always look better in well made and sort of pricey old navy clothes over cheap shitty forever 21 clothes. 21. Are you in a good mood?I'm kind of eh. All I've done today is watch the MSNBC news cycle for hours on end and that was really depressing and anxiety inducing but I've isolated myself in my room for a bit since then and had a nice salami sandwich so I've mellowed. 22. Would you ever want to swim with sharks?Hell yeah. Sharks are nowhere as violent as media portrays them and need to be protected like any other species. Also I went to the aquarium yesterday. 23. Are your eyes the same color as your dad’s?Yes between my parents I got pretty much all of my father's genetics and it's really funny. 24. What do you want right this second?Someone to cuddle with because I realized when I was staying at a hotel that I literally can't sleep unless I'm holding something and every single night my body pillow is a little bit more pathetic. 25. What would you say if the person you love/like kissed another girl/boy?Fuckin jokes on you she's married 26. Is your current hair color your natural hair color?Technically no. I mean I am a natural blonde but currently I am several shades blonder because my natural shade is on the darker end of the blonde spectrum and I'm so pale that I need to lighten and warm it up from time to time so I don't look like a less stylish Addams child. 27. Would you be able to date someone who doesn’t make you laugh?That's a hard fuckin pass m828. What was the last thing that made you laugh?I answered this before but I've laughed again since then soS A N D R A29. Do you really, truly miss someone right now?Yes. 30. Does everyone deserve a second chance?Yes, as long as they are actually willing to modify their behavior/habits/what have you. Life is a learning curve. I believe in third chances too, under the same conditions. At some point, however, you have to acknowledge that some people just will not change and it isn't worth the energy you're investing to try and force it. Then it's time to cut bitches off lmao. 31. Honestly, do you hate the last boy you were talking to?My brother is walking a fine line right now. He's a shit head but I don't hate him. 32. Does the person you have feelings for right now, know you do?I think so. 33. Are you one of those people who never drinks soda?Cherry Pepsi flows through my veins. 34. Listening to?I've honestly been listening to the original London cast recording of The Witches of Eastwick the musical on repeat for like a week? That and the original cast recording of Sunset Boulevard. Which reminds me, I downloaded Dangerous Liaisons...35. Do you ever write in pencil anymore?Yeah... do people like... stop writing in pencil at some point? Y'all hate erasers????36. Do you know where the last person you kissed is?Probably somewhere in Pennsylvania where I left her. 37. Do you believe in love at first sight?Maybe chemistry at first sight? I think you have to know a person before you can love them. Chemistry doesn't have to be romantic either, I think it's just a significant reaction. I'm a fan of hate to lover arcs in fiction. Cough cough swan queen. 38. Who did you last call?Probably my brother to tell him to preheat the oven. 39. Who was the last person you danced with?My aunt when she was trying to convince me not to leave the wedding reception even though I was dead on my feet and dissociating so hard I felt like I wasn't in my body40. Why did you kiss the last person you kissed?Because that's how Phyllis Nagy wrote the script. 41. When was the last time you ate a cupcake?The wedding reception. It didn't have frosting because my brother brought me a fucking cupcake without frosting. 42. Did you hug/kiss one of your parents today?No43. Ever embarrass yourself in front of a crush?Countless times! I'm strong but clumsy so when she asks me to move things for her it's like a 50/50 chance I'll drop it. She never makes fun of me though. 44. Do you tan in the nude?I don't tan period because I am pasty and extremely at risk for skin cancer *finger guns*45. If you could, would you take back your last kiss?If by take back you mean literally take it back by purchasing the full play to read it 46. Did you talk to someone until you fell asleep last night?I usually do47. Who was the last person to call you?Idk probably my dad to tell me to preheat the oven. 48. Do you sing in the shower?Am I even showering if I'm not singing49. Do you dance in the car?I'm generally pretty cramped in most cars so no50. Ever used a bow and arrow?Yes! I'm a pretty decent archer. 51. Last time you got a portrait taken by a photographer?Probably my headshots that I got when I was doing my dance photo shoot senior year. 52. Do you think musicals are cheesy?I'm a theatre major what fucking kind of question is this. In this house we respect triple threats. And have a healthy fear of the wrath of patti lupone 53. Is Christmas stressful?Half my family is EXTREMELY Roman Catholic and a quarter is Jewish so if it's not stressful it's definitely complicated 54. Ever eat a pierogi?Fuck yes holy shit we had a cooking unit at camp and they'd make staff lunch and they made pierogies from scratch like dough potatoes and all and I swear I nutted. 55. Favorite type of fruit pie?Lemon meringue. Oh fuck elies mom made such good pie last year. 56. Occupations you wanted to be when you were a kid?Forensic examiner! I wanted to do autopsies! Like deadass I wanted to be Doctor Jan Garavaglia from the discovery channel. Also retrospectively definitely had a crush on her. That was when I was in like elementary school though. In middle school I wanted nothing more than to be an Imagineer and design attractions for Disney. 57. Do you believe in ghosts?I'm from New England. Next question. 58. Ever have a Deja-vu feeling?Yeah holy shit I see stuff from my dreams a lot. 59. Take a vitamin daily?These strawberry flavored fuckers for hair skin and nails they're so good!60. Wear slippers?Not so much at home but at school I practically live in them because our dorm is always disgusting 61. Wear a bath robe?Yes I have a super fluffy long one62. What do you wear to bed?Ideally nothing but I have to wear clothes because my room gets too hot to sleep with the door shut so normally a t shirt and underwear and then I keep shorts or sweatpants by my bed so I can put them on quickly if I have to leave my room. Plus I have a roommate at school so no naked napping there either. 63. First concert?Probably one of the free concerts Eight to the Bar used to do in my mom's hometown64. Wal-Mart, Target or Kmart?Target I'm a loyal Pinterest mom65. Nike or Adidas?Neither. Whatever is on clearance at Kohls. 66. Cheetos Or Fritos?Cheetos. I'm not a fucking heathen. 67. Peanuts or Sunflower seeds?No. Cashews. 68. Favorite Taylor Swift song?LOVE STORY (The og country version) IS THE REALEST BOP IVE EVER HEARD69. Ever take dance lessons?Hahaha only 16 years of them70. Is there a profession you picture your future spouse doing?Something creative. Strongly probably theatre related. 71. Can you curl your tongue?Yeah72. Ever won a spelling bee?No but I performed a song from The 25th Annual Putnam County Spelling Bee73. Have you ever cried because you were so happy?Short answer yes. Long answer: please see my post on Tired Thesbian about Indecent directed by Rebecca Taichman and written by Paula Vogel 74. What is your favorite book?To the Lighthouse by Virginia Woolf75. Do you study better with or without music?With, but it has to be instrumental. I really like film scores; Cracks, The Hours, and the Mildred Pierce miniseries are my favorites. Honorable mention for Carol. 76. Regularly burn incense?Not allowed to. 77. Ever been in love?Yes. 78. Who would you like to see in concert?Fleetwood Mac/Stevie, Celtic Woman, Dolly Parton, Florence + The Machine. That's the non showtune half of my music taste. Isn't it an unsettling combination. 79. What was the last concert you saw?I don't really go to music concerts but I went to the so you think you can dance tour a couple years ago. 80. Hot tea or cold tea?Porque no los dos 81. Tea or coffee?Porque no los dos 82. Favorite type of cookie?I'm a slut for shortbread but that's more of a biscuit soooooo Oreos. 83. Can you swim well?I've never drowned 84. Can you hold your breath without holding your nose?People can't do that?85. Are you patient?I guess so86. DJ or band, at a wedding?Dj BRUH 87. Ever won a contest?I won a writing contest in eighth grade!88. Ever have plastic surgery?No but I'd love to get some for various reasons. And when it comes down to it, we really shouldn't judge others cosmetic choices be they hair color or plastic surgery. Insert Dolly Parton. 89. Which are better black or green olives?Olives are evil and I was once locked out of my dorm room over this argument90. Opinions on sex before marriage?Holy fuck heterosexual culture is wild isn't it91. Best room for a fireplace?Already answered 92. Do you want to get married?Maybe not married but certainly in a committed long term relationship. To quote Lily Tomlin, I'm not particularly keen on imitating heterosexuals. Holy fuvk that took like a full hour

My History

CW: emotional, sexual, and financial abuse, suicide, drugs and alcohol, conversion therapy, divorce, homelessness, seriously... you name it.

For the very young among my readers, and for those who simply weren’t aware of what was happening in the queer community in the 90′s, let me tell you a little more about my family. 

My dad is from a city. His family later moved to a more rural environment, but he also grew up with a cosmopolitan experience. His mom’s parents were filthy rich and disinherited her for eloping with my grandpa but my dad still got to do rich people things when he was a kid. He has funny memories of his grandma nearly killing them because she was too drunk to drive but he also remembers doing farm labor as a teenager. He was a math whiz and played varsity football his sophomore year but had to quit after a car accident when the doctors discovered that one of his kidneys is totally non functional and the other is under developed. When he joined the Air Force, he was training to be a helicopter flight mechanic but there is something wrong with his depth perception so he was recycled and ended up with the far less glamorous but still noble position of cooking. Cooking runs in our blood.

My mom is from a very small town, 1000 people or so. The only diversity she ever really knew was Lutheran or Catholic and because of her heritage on her biological dad’s side, she may have been the only Jewish person in town. She was raised Catholic, though, by her mom and step dad. Her stories of childhood have a much different tone than my dad’s do. She was constantly angry at her mom for being too stupid. She earned average grades in all subjects and helped in the family store from the time she started high school. She played basketball for a few years in school, but most of her time was spent getting drunk probably because she had no framework to understand her attraction to other women. When she joined the Air Force, she did so as a diet tech. 

My parents met in a kitchen on an Air Force base thousands of miles from their home states. My dad told me that it was love at first sight. My mom has never talked about it. Their marriage was unhappy. They produced two children and then divorced a few years later. My dad was depressed for years and my mom openly shamed his depression to us kids. I have heard so many versions of why he left the Air Force but he was the primary parent when I was a kid. After the divorce, he struggled to find suitable work. 

My mom convinced us kids not to visit my dad more than once and even forbade us from visiting him on other occasions. I remember being coerced into signing a contract that we would not visit him at all when I was eleven. I figured out that my mom was gay when I was seven. Luckily, I had not been exposed to other culture stories about homosexuality before this so for me it was just data. We had to keep it a secret from the Air Force. In the 90′s being queer could cost you your job, especially in the military. This secrecy was used to convince us to keep our mouths shut about all the abuse that was happening in the home. “If you tell anyone about this, I’ll be investigated and lose my job.” 

Ironically, my mom preached tolerance while perpetrating all kinds of conversion therapy on me that would have left me traumatized for life if I had not taken matters into my own hands as an adult. It was on a nearly daily basis that she openly declared my sibling the favorite and called me Number Two. I think that may have something to do with why I make so many poop jokes. I tried to earn her love and respect by doing well in school but my straight A’s did nothing but only further enrage her. When my IQ was tested at the age of 8, she denied the score because scores in that range almost always point to autism and she was working her ass off to deny that part of me. She even hid my fidget, my teddy bear, from me as a prank on more than one occasion. Imagine what it is like to have a mother who makes fun of you as a rule and will only show you love if you act right, and you never act right because you’re not right. 

You can imagine that I lived with my dad as often as I could. My dad is strange though. He would only want both of us to live with him. He was also very poor but I didn’t care because being able to breathe freely was a luxury that I didn’t have when living with mom. (I actually had to see a specialist at one point because my stress was preventing me from being able to breathe. The muscles in my neck were locking up but this only lead to being teased about putting less strain on my vocal chords. She didn’t love me at all.) Living with my dad wasn’t perfect. I was unable to continue the swim team into high school because my dad was fearful of me riding in a car to get to practice (unresolved trauma from his past) and his work schedule prevented him from taking me. But I was allowed to be in the IB Program and I begged my way into a few summer camps at the university. During my Junior year, my mom and dad got into a stupid fight and my dad lost it. I can’t say I blame him now because as an adult, I understand my mom’s power to provoke and pick at emotional wounds... but at the time, all I could think was, “what the fuck?” and I had that thought for years.

We ended up back with mom who wanted me to drop out of IB and get a job which also derailed my plans to attempt to get into MIT and they had been scouting me since I took my PSAT. Why did I do what my mom wanted me to do? I guess I trusted her, I still saw her only as my mommy and not as the manipulative, abusive person that she is. Staying in the IB Program would’ve led to my finding a suitable job but you have to remember, she hated the idea of having a genius child because that meant having an aspergers/autistic child and she retained her small town mentality for fear and shame of difference. In a weird way, not becoming an engineer has worked out for me and if she hadn’t treated me like so much dog shit for 25 years, we’d probably still have a relationship. My relationship with my dad was later repaired because he apologized for what had happened as a result of the fight. 

During my twenties, I was chronically homeless. Although I did well in school, because I was taught, but nobody ever taught me how to live in this world. I struggled to find work because I am strange, I cannot work full time because of the intensity of my sensory processing disorder, and the paychecks I earned were never enough to even cover rent, let alone food or a phone bill or student loan payments. I tried living with family, which meant my mom, and this only lead to my second suicide attempt at the age of 25. (My first was at age 12, also while living with my mom.) My sibling found me and I woke up in the psych ward a couple days later. It was after this that I lived in a home called a Board and Lodge. About a third of us were autistic but requiring less staff than a traditional group home. There were also people with physical injuries, drug addiction, prison re-entries, and one guy with schizophrenia. It was not a safe place to live because there was a great deal of abuse amongst the residents and staff due to what I think was a social power struggle. It was so bad that some of the staff wouldn’t even perform their jobs appropriately and I reported it when I moved out. 

I’m leaving a lot out: my years in college, my marriage and divorce, my time in a cult, being taken advantage of financially, the sexual assault, and other things. Being unable to recognize danger does not magically help an autistic person recognize danger. I have a lot to thank my therapist for because she has mentored me to help me recognize danger and to help me see the world as it is. She has helped me to build life skills and self care skills so that I can live independently and not be at the mercy of people who don’t understand autism and think they’re doing me a favor by trying to abuse me into being normal. I am hoping against hope that I can find a part time job in this state that will be understanding of my autism and accommodate me in the way the law requires them to. I have a lot to give but I cannot give what I do not have. 

Everyone you know has a hidden past that has been molded and shaped by the hidden past of their parents and grandparents. Try to put a hold on judgements and assumptions, if you can. It will help to foster tolerance and acceptance without having know things that are none of your business. It is an important lesson to learn that nobody owes you an explanation for who they are and nobody is obligated to share what they consider private.

@amateurcatalyst​ asked: it's very interesting how they focus on Goura while En talks about chikuwabu; could he be the chikuwabu of their own group?

My original response to that Ask was here, but then...

@angry-jewish-magical-girl​ said: you know why i think the camera panned to goura when en mentioned chikuwabu? Because gora was initially supposed to be a background character who didn’t actually contribute anything to the story, and en was talking about how chikuwabu is pointless and had no reason for existing. The show was lowkey saying gora was a pointless character. I mean ok he’s not actually pointless, he’s yumoto’s guardian. but that early in the show’s development, as far as the writers may have known, gora wasn’t actually there to contribute anything to the plot other than be yumoto’s guardian

THIS WAS IT! THIS WAS THE EXTRA PIECE OF INFORMATION I NEEDED TO COMPLETE THE ODEN METAPHOR!!!!

I had completely forgotten about this interview (thank you so much to @intra-fiducia​ for the translations and @elucida​ for digging this up for me!!!) where Takamatsu explained Goura's development in season 1, but now that I have this information I can elaborate on a thought I had started to touch on in my oden post about the chikuwabu and what it represents.

So, prepare yourselves for another spam of screenshots below the cut as we voyage into Oden Part 2: Return of the Chikuwabu!

~.~

First, some things I would like to point out from the interview that explain certain relevant moments...

That’s pretty sketchy *laughs*. Then, why is the first monster chikuwabu? Whose idea was that? Takamatsu: To be honest, while we were sitting at a drinking party, we started talking about how you could only find chikuwabu in Tokyo, and how people from other regions didn’t even know it existed, and the impression of that conversation stayed with me…I suppose that was it? Yokote: Right, right. Then we decided ‘let’s use this conversation as is’. But we learnt that a surprising number of people liked chikuwabu, so I was…a little worried about messing with the chikuwabu. Miyawaki: It’s okay! Zaou likes chikuwabu, so we’re covering for the chikuwabu thing *laughs*.

Ryuu's tone and the way he looked at the others with that cheesy smile seemed more comedic like "Well, I like chikuwabu. Anyone else with me? Huh? Huh?" while the others just give him a look like "wtf, Ryuu?"

And now I know why (although I will still stand by my "Ryuu sympathizes with the chikuwabu" theory). It's an in-joke with the staff poking fun at themselves because they realized how much they were ragging on something that was more popular than they had initially thought and Ryuu's just there to be their mouthpiece like "but chikuwabu isn't really so bad, please don't hate. *sweats profusely*" XD

Speaking of Gora, why does he keep chopping wood for a natural hot spring? Takamatsu: The Kurotama Bath is actually an onsen even though it’s a public bath. So we realized halfway that you don’t need firewood if it’s an onsen. Yokote: It was like, ‘ehh, at this point in time?!!’. Miyawaki: It would have been terrible to correct, so we had him continue chopping wood as he had been, and let Kinugawa critique that before the viewers could. Takamatsu: And then in the last episodes, 11 and 12, we redeemed ourselves since it was foreshadowing!

We all remember this scene from S1E6, right?

Oh, staff... Way to have Goura lampshade the fact that you originally had no purpose for him other than to stand outside the Kurotama and chop wood all day. Yes, Yumoto, listen to your An-chan. Do not become a "useless protagonist" who does nothing but stand with the main group and smile and look cute while the plot happens around you... oh...

Ryuu is smiling at En's attempt to give credit where credit is due, but Atsushi is having none of it.

He looks so tired. Being one of the designated "straight men" of the group (strictly in the figurative sense) is draining when he can see through all the fluffy bullshit that is constantly being thrown up in front of them.

If Atsushi is the staff's mouthpiece here, then En is us. “Eh?” Yes, Atsushi, do shed some light on the situation for us, for we have all been blind and it is the one with glasses who alone could see.

*click*

For about 4 seconds, Goura sweats profusely

before shutting his window.

He can’t answer and neither could the staff.

Look what you did, Atsushi, you fucked up a perfectly good background character is what you did. Look at him. He has anxiety.

Yumoto, why so harsh? But is this the staff taking a potshot at themselves, too? XD

Bless you, En.

And since they can’t just leave it on that unhappy note, we get the other bookend at the end of the episode…

Thanks, Atsushi. You really won't let that go, huh? Look, I don’t come into your house and ask you why you obsess over jigsaw puzzles, do I? Let the man run his business.

Ryuu, you’re not helping. And to be honest, there’s zero point in chasing skirt as much as you do, so what are you trying to say? *raises an eyebrow* 

Io, you have no right to talk.

Meanwhile, En is so disappointed in them. LET THE MAN LIVE!

Moral of the story: We accidentally gave a "useless" character an even more useless job, literally defeating his entire purpose for being there, so the only way we could fix it without making ourselves look sloppy and destroying the overall moral of this show that everyone's important was to turn it into his hobby and call it foreshadowing. *thumbs up*

I wish I sparkled like that when I sweat. Wow.

You’ve done good, Goura. Follow your dreams. You deserve them.

Did the previous battle lover, Gora, have any companions? Takamatsu: Umm, I haven’t thought about it at all *laughs*. At first, Gora was really only there for chopping wood, but in deciding the brotherly showdown episode he became a pretty central to things. If not for the developments of the final episode, I think he would have just kept on chopping wood until the end.

I wouldn't know when development for the season 1 finale would have taken place, but I think it's fairly safe to say that, even at this point in ep6, Goura was still just a background character. A staple of the Kurotama and nothing more. Until whatever point it was when they decided to turn him into a monster and play up the brother dynamics to sucker punch our hearts even more. In the interview, they mentioned that the development of the brotherly love message in ep10 was where they started to set us up for the pain because they wanted the brothers to battle.

So, that brings this whole thing back around to the chikuwabu...

Basically, the joke I got out of this when I thought about it made me laugh.

At this point in time, Goura looks like he might have an important role because the camera pans to him. He’s there. We see him. But he’s only ever chopping wood. He doesn’t do anything else. Goodness knows we all remember going through each episode during season 1 and wondering what his story was and coming up with theories about why he was even shown in the episodes and interacting with the other characters as if he was so significant if his peculiar presence wasn’t going to be explained eventually.

That’s it. That’s the joke. En is saying, “He just looks like he integrates into the plot, but he really doesn’t. You can stare at him and study him for hours and hours, but you won’t find anything of real substance. He’s good at blending in without actually doing anything. What you see with him is exactly what you get. He just chops wood.”

And then En goes on to say that he doesn’t know if he hates chikuwabu, he just feels like he’s looking at an unknown lifeform, and it’s funny when you think about how everyone just accepts Goura as the staple of the Kurotama because that’s all he is to them and then they still can’t figure him out when they really have to think about it. (Well, aside from Yumoto, of course. Goura means a lot more to him than to the others.)

But despite the fact that Goura is also chikuwabu, I still wouldn’t go so far as to call him a “pointless” character. Because even before he was given a more significant role in the main plot of the season and before there was any “foreshadowing” (I see what you did there, staff), he still had a purpose. Calling him “pointless” would defeat the point of the metaphor, you see.

In fact, all of the background characters, the loveless, and even the Press Society are the chikuwabu. They are only there as a throwaway character or to serve a single mundane purpose, whether they appear as a significant role in the narrative of an episode or not. But they are all still equally important because the show needs them to fill those roles in order to tell the story. Without them, the story could not have progressed the way it did if the only “important” ones were the main characters.

The background characters who have no lines or only a few lines here and there, whether that dialogue is filler or not, just to take up space on screen or prove a point a character is making…

The loveless, who are only used as pawns in each episode to serve as an object lesson in morality and receive life advice…

The Press Society, who shows up a few times to be a nuisance to the main characters and serves as a third-party antagonist so the Caerula Adamas could be redeemed…

The aliens and, heck, even Tawarayama-sensei, who is only used as vehicle of transportation for Wombat and isn’t even given the decency of respect… because he’s dead, remember, he’s dead and his life is but a mere joke to amuse us and the aliens have a penchant for puppeteering more than just human life and deriving enjoyment out of watching it happen…

And Goura, who faithfully stood outside the Kurotama chopping wood and was only much later on given the title of magical boy.

They are the chikuwabu of season 1. And even the chikuwabu, who we might not initially think of as anything important or significant, is a key ingredient necessary for making our beloved story what it is. They support the story while playing their own parts.

They are all oden, guys. Everyone and everything is oden. This show and even us, we are all oden. Oden is love, oden is life, oden is never over.

here’s a story from my past about Trying To Be A Good Person

rewind about 6 or 7 years ago when i was 16ish years old and a VERY DIFFERENT individual from who I am today. i was way stuck in anti-blackness, self-loathing, internalized misogyny, and i kind of was in a crowd of ~friends~ who prided themselves on being “ironic” and equated Offensive with Funny. 

so, one day on tumblr, an antisemitic pun and image crossed my dashboard. i won’t go into details about what it was, but it was REALLY fucked up and disgusting. but i thought i was supposed to find it funny, because i was ~smart~ enough to ~get the joke~

so i reblogged it with some dumbass commentary like “lol so funny!” or whatever. 

a few minutes later, i got a message from a jewish follower, the content of which was WAY nicer than I deserved. I don’t remember their exact words, but the gist and the tone were akin to: “I only just started following you a few days ago, and I thought you were really cool and posted about great stuff,  and I really liked you. But then I saw that antisemitic post you reblogged, and I was really shocked and disappointed. I’m jewish, and i’m so hurt that you would post something like that. I have to unfollow you now.” 

i immediately felt a lot of feelings, but the main two were shame and confusion. i was so convinced that it was ~just a joke~ and that this person didn’t have a REAL reason to be offended, because it wasn’t like i REALLY thought anything negative about jewish people. 

but even still, i apologized without hesitation. a real, true, “i’m sorry I hurt you” apology. I deleted the post in question and promised to try to be more sensitive, and I thanked the person for telling me how they felt. of course, in my self-loathing and ignorance i also tried to lessen the severity my actions by explaining that “I’m black and I laugh at jokes about black people all the time,” as if that actually made anything okay. Part of me REALLY DID think that my own self-hatred made it okay for me to participate in mistreating other marginalized groups. I felt like putting down other minorities, including and especially my own, would make me just a little bit less black, and I could get in good with white folks. and i am SO. GLAD. that I have learned beyond that and learned to love myself and love and respect all other peoples. but still, that moment stuck with me and I’m so grateful that this person was kind-hearted enough to, despite how deeply i offended them, explain their point of view to me in a way that was polite and patient. because god knows that 16 year old me would have shut down and lashed out, had this person responded with the anger and vehemence i surely deserved. 

anyways, this story doesn’t end there.

something else happened a few minutes later. 

After I posted the apology and deleted the offensive post, a girl who was in my shitty ~friend group~ sent me a message that said something to the effect of, 

“Don’t let that person tell you what you can or can’t think is funny! You don’t need to apologize to them. Post what you want. Fuck anyone who says different.” 

And I was really disgusted??? 

So I replied with, “Obviously I can post whatever I want. and I WANT to post things that help people feel safe and worthy and loved. So if something I do or say causes someone pain, I WANT to change my behavior and my thinking. I WANT people to tell me when I hurt them, because I WANT to make things right, and I WANT to be a better person, and I WANT to apologize to someone whom I hurt with my words or actions.” 

And then she responded again with some bullshit about how I’m ~weak minded~ for ~giving in~ or whatever, and just 

i remember being very shocked and disturbed that someone was actually UPSET by the fact that I apologized for profoundly hurting someone. Like suddenly I was less cool in her eyes for trying to be compassionate. 

and that was one of the key moments in my life that made me realize that i was trying to fit into a group of sad people who disgusted me, and that i wanted to be better than that. 

so, i started being better than that. 

so i guess one take-away from all this is that everyone, at some point or another, is probably going to fuck up in a really bad way. we’ll do or say something so abhorrent, even if we aren’t smart or mature or informed enough to understand WHY it is abhorrent. but we have to take those fuck ups and use them as excuses to become BETTER. Not as excuses to dig ourselves deeper into our holes of ignorance and evil. 

so yeah. idk. 

i’ve had a handful of moments in my life where someone calmly but firmly told me about my fucked up behavior, and I’m so grateful to all those people, even if I couldn’t understand their point of view at the time. 

New Post has been published on https://shovelnews.com/comedian-eshaan-akbar-i-want-people-to-see-the-funny-side-of-the-koran/

Comedian Eshaan Akbar: 'I want people to see the funny side of the Koran'

Eshaan Akbar is a diplomatic provocateur.

The 33-year-old stand-up is one of the BBC Asian Network’s latest breakout talents. He first made waves on the comedy circuit supporting Micky Flanagan on tour in 2014 but now he’s wading into choppier waters. His latest set-piece, Prophet Like It’s Hot, aims to show the Koran “is actually quite funny” at the Edinburgh Fringe. 

“If someone kills me for doing this, which a lot of people are worried about, I think it will at least make people sit up and take notice,” says Akbar, tucking into a halloumi burger at Bill’s in Kensington. “I don’t know if I want to die for my job — I’ve got plenty more shows left in me — but what a legacy that would leave, eh?” 

Dangerously funny, maybe. But there’s plenty of humour to be found in religion, a fact that’s crucial to the show’s mandate of demystifying Islam. “Comedy is an integral part of making people think and feel differently about issues,” he says. “I want people to be challenged, have conversations and feel uncomfortable. Well, fundamentally I want them to laugh. They can feel uncomfortable while in a plush seat and not walking out, hopefully.”  

Edinburgh Fringe comedian Olga Koch on coming from Russia with laughs

Three weeks ago a woman came up to him after a preview show. “It turned out she was on that train at Parson’s Green with the bomber on, and had sat opposite him,” says Akbar. “She was in tears because she said that ever since that incident she’s struggled to reconcile her relationship with people from the Islamic community and the fact of what could have happened to her. So she cried and held me because she said I made terrorism funny. I was able to somehow make her laugh about a quite serious thing, and there’s something wonderful about that.” 

Born in Whitechapel, Akbar’s family moved to Essex and he attended a Church of England school, Stonebridge, on a scholarship. “I was a bit of a misfit, the poor brown boy at a private school in Essex,” he says. 

It was a nuclear family at home: mum a Bangladeshi Thatcherite, his dad a Pakistani Labourite, both strictly following the tenets of Islam (he has a younger brother, now a teacher). “When I visited Bangladesh I was too British to be Bangladeshi, and here I’m too Bangladeshi to be British,” he says. “It’s weird. My mum first heard me speak English when I was seven, and I had a bit of an Essex twang, which would not wash. She’d pull out her favourite book, Wuthering Heights, and say: ‘I want you to read this like you’re on the BBC. If you start swallowing your ts I’ll smack you’. I gave Heathcliff a Yorkshire accent, which really annoyed her.” 

Yet Akbar hasn’t been a practising Muslim for years now. This, he says, grants him perspective. “I was raised within the faith but my mum said: ‘The lottery of life meant that you were born a Muslim. I’ll tell you Islam is great but if I’d been Jewish I’d be saying Judaism is great. The same if I’d been born a Christian’. So with that upbringing I was always able to respect everything.” 

The best comedy at Edinburgh Fringe 2018

9 show all

1/9 The best comedy at Edinburgh Fringe 2018

Jen Brister

Idil Sukan

2/9 The best comedy at Edinburgh Fringe 2018

Sara Barron

Carla Guler

3/9 The best comedy at Edinburgh Fringe 2018

Rosie Jones

Aemen Sukkar

4/9 The best comedy at Edinburgh Fringe

Suzi Ruffell

Jiksaw

5/9 The best comedy at Edinburgh Fringe 2018

Jamali Maddix

6/9 The best comedy at Edinburgh Fringe 2018

Nish Kumar

BBC/Endemol Shine UK

7/9 The best comedy at Edinburgh Fringe 2018

Norris & Parker

8/9 The best comedy at Edinburgh Fringe 2018

David O’Doherty

9/9 The best comedy at Edinburgh Fringe 2018

Lazy Susan

Bobby Goulding

1/9 The best comedy at Edinburgh Fringe 2018

Jen Brister

Idil Sukan

2/9 The best comedy at Edinburgh Fringe 2018

Sara Barron

Carla Guler

3/9 The best comedy at Edinburgh Fringe 2018

Rosie Jones

Aemen Sukkar

4/9 The best comedy at Edinburgh Fringe

Suzi Ruffell

Jiksaw

5/9 The best comedy at Edinburgh Fringe 2018

Jamali Maddix

6/9 The best comedy at Edinburgh Fringe 2018

Nish Kumar

BBC/Endemol Shine UK

7/9 The best comedy at Edinburgh Fringe 2018

Norris & Parker

8/9 The best comedy at Edinburgh Fringe 2018

David O’Doherty

9/9 The best comedy at Edinburgh Fringe 2018

Lazy Susan

Bobby Goulding

He found the teachings at the mosque inflexible. “Even the revelation itself came from the prophet asking questions of society. But we weren’t taught any of the historical context. All I was told was: ‘Read this’. The first alphabet I learned to read was Arabic and I didnt know what any of it meant. If I dared to question I’d get slapped. They said: ‘This is the word of God and that’s it, don’t ask questions’. As I got older that pushed me away.”

Comedy was not his next calling though. There was a long fixation with the diplomatic corps. Three of his uncles were in the service, and used to pick him up, aged six, in a limousine. “I used to wear a clip-on lime green tie every time they visited,” he says. “I wanted to be an ambassador.”

He studied economics at Queen Mary, University of London, and bought a house in Chadwell Heath, near Romford aged 18 — “I lucked out. Easy credit.” He buckled up for a career in banking through Barclays’ graduate programme — his parents lost their house in the 1991 recession and he needed to support the family.

“The main thing I did was wealth management for celebrities. There were some big names, including a comedian of much repute whose financial affairs were a bit of a scandal.”

So…  Jimmy Carr? 

“Right, so there we go. You look at someone like Jimmy Carr’s bank account and the remarkable thing was he had as much money as he did. For context, to open an account with me you needed £5 million in investment assets or an annual cash flow of £450,000. So, big money. And I’m a 21-year-old going ‘I’m never going to see that much’. And he’s doing comedy.” 

The best new writing to see at Edinburgh Fringe Festival 2018

He was made redundant during the 2008 financial crisis and went into occupational overdrive. He briefly reignited his diplomatic aspirations, studying for an MA at Birkbeck before dropping it. He then freelanced for The Observer and worked as a researcher for Sky News. “I’d even been a dance choreographer for a bit outside work at Barclays,” he says. “It was Bollywood. I choreographed groups for weddings, that kind of stuff.”

Then, some luck. A producer at Sky filmed him for a broadcast audition tape and spotted his flair for comedy. That was the nudge he needed. Akbar took an eight-week stand-up course and was spotted by Micky Flanagan’s agent.   

In 2014 his mum died. “I had two gigs left after her passing. I was going to do them, and that was going to be it. I couldn’t think about anything but my mum. But I hadn’t realised how cathartic comedy was for me. Confronting people who didn’t know me and my story and not thinking about my mum, it just became this safe space where I could enjoy myself.”

Akbar still lives with his dad and brother but even that’s comic material. He’s written a sitcom — still in the works — about trying to find love while living with his “housemates”. “They have loads of sex and I get nothing in the show,” he says. 

London’s best comedy clubs and nights

15 show all

1/15 The Soho Theatre

Sara Pascoe’s favourite comedy venue, and with good reason: the Soho Theatre is arguably London’s finest place to see both up-and-coming and established acts. Being a theatre, rather than a comedy club per se, expect to see full sets from individuals rather than bills with a few comics. Its three rooms host all sorts of things, from the latest Edinburgh winners to big names road-testing their latest bits. The standard is reliably excellent: even if you’ve never heard of a comedian, chances are, if they’re playing here, they’ll be worth watching.

2/15 The Comedy Store

Another old favourite, the Comedy Store benefits from being built for purpose: no other venue in London suits stand-up quite so well (and the beer isn’t too ridiculously priced, either). After starting out above a strip club in Soho, this place made its name throughout the eighties by breaking the pioneers in alternative comedy. It’s happy to host mainstream stars these days, and never struggles to draw top acts, but if you can only make one thing, try The Comedy Store Players, old pros whose improvised shows on Wednesdays and Sundays all but guarantee hilarity. Tuesday’s The Cutting Edge is best for those who like topical humour.

3/15 Old Rope at The Phoenix

Old Rope is popular with circuit veterans and newbies alike, so the weekly show usually has a mix of big names, comedy veterans and ones-to-watch. Host Tiff Stevenson leads an evening of new material – yes, lots of jokes given their test run – and it’s given its name for the noose that hangs over the stage. Ironically, this noose is a bit of a life-saver: if the new act is going badly, comics can grab the rope and fall back on old material.

4/15 Knock2bag

Always top value, the Knock2bag nights offer the chance to indulge in the odder end of the comedy spectrum: expect serious helpings of whimsy, eccentricity and surrealism. If you’re looking for something different, this is your place to go.

5/15 Monkey Business Comedy Club

A first-rate comedy club and well worth travelling for. We’d pick the Thursday night over Saturday, but you’ll get a decent show on either day. There’s a mix of big names and up-and-comers, and host Martin Besserman is a pro who’ll keep you laughing in between acts. Of which, there’s often as many as twelve a night, so you’ll get your money’s worth. If one isn’t to your taste, another promises a laugh.

6/15 Banana Cabaret Club

The Banana Cabaret Club hosts a lot of top drawer comics, and is well loved in comedy circles – in part, because they’ve been going a good thirty years and in part because of the man running things, David Vickers, whose had everyone from Eddie Izzard to Stephen K Amos performing. Stars pop-in, and comedy circuit regulars play often, but it’s also on the finest spots to see new talent . No wonder Marcus Brigstocke name-checked it as his favourite London comedy club. Besides, once the two-hour show is done (typically wrapping up around 11pm), DJs strike up and everyone dances till 2am. Splendid.

http://vivivi.co.uk/

7/15 Piccadilly Comedy Club

Hats off to the Piccadilly for keeping comedy cheap: their shows cost £10 at the most, and they do a ‘meal deal’, where you can eat at Tiger Tiger and see the show for £20 all-in. A bargain. Expect a mix of well-known TV regulars alongside the best newcomers on the scene. Line-ups are particularly well thought out here: they don’t just sling together anyone, so the nights tend to be uniformly excellent.

8/15 Leicester Square Theatre

The Leicester Square Theatre draws the big names, so expect to see top flight acts: Richard Herring hosts a weekly podcast here on Wednesdays, and the likes of Bridget Christie, Micky Flanagan and Frankie Boyle all make it a stopping point on their tours. That said, check the website for what’s upcoming – there are chance to see some under-the-radar sets too.

9/15 Live at Zédel

The excellent Brasserie Zédel – whose Bar Americain is one of the finest drinking spots in the capital – relaunched Crazy Coqs as Live At Zédel last year and following a successful first run, are launching their second season. Besides comedy – the standard is usually very decent – they also host musical theatre and drag acts. The cocktails are terrific and there’s at-table service. Eat in the restaurant beforehand (or after), too: we swung by recently and the food is as good as its ever been. Cheap, too.

10/15 Happy Mondays

This fortnightly show boasts the best new up-and-coming acts in the capital, combined with big name hosts – expect the likes of Miles Jupp, Sara Pascoe and Holly Walsh – who keep the standard up to scratch. Definitely up to par, somewhere to find your new favourite comedian.

11/15 Angel Comedy

Just how a comedy club should be: small, crowded and above a pub. Best of all, it’s free, and each night offers something different, from open-mic nights to well-known names giving their latest sets an airing. Check the website for details, but you won’t be let down – just get down early, as it fills up quickly.

12/15 Ginglik Comedy Club

Following a decade of success in Shepherd’s Bush, this comedy club has found a new home at the ever-popular Roof Gardens. Known as ‘Jimmy Carr’s favourite comedy club’, the Ginglik has had everyone from Al Murray to Robin Williams play, and is set for more success.

13/15 Laugh Out London

The likes of Stewart Lee, Reginald D Hunter and Tony Law play these nights, which gives an idea of just how decent they are. Laugh Out London always do a good job of bringing the highlights from Edinburgh festival to town, so take the chance to see who everyone’s been tweeting about.

14/15 The 99 Club

This Leicester Square club is much, much better than you might expect for a place that continually flyers. A big favourite with the Chortle Awards, it always attracts big names – it runs a little like ‘Live At The Apollo’ but on a smaller scale. There are three acts a night, and shows are fairly priced: some are as cheap as a fiver, though most will cost around £10 – £15. They’ve also got venues in Soho and Covent Garden.

15/15 Live At The Chapel

Bit of a shame that shows here are so few and far between – usually about once a month – but there’s no place more beautiful than the Union Chapel to see comedy in London. The upside is that, with so few performances, they always get the big names headlining, with unfailingly impressive support. Plus there’s usually a live band, who are fab. The atmosphere is everything.

Anthony Devlin/PA Wire

1/15 The Soho Theatre

Sara Pascoe’s favourite comedy venue, and with good reason: the Soho Theatre is arguably London’s finest place to see both up-and-coming and established acts. Being a theatre, rather than a comedy club per se, expect to see full sets from individuals rather than bills with a few comics. Its three rooms host all sorts of things, from the latest Edinburgh winners to big names road-testing their latest bits. The standard is reliably excellent: even if you’ve never heard of a comedian, chances are, if they’re playing here, they’ll be worth watching.

2/15 The Comedy Store

Another old favourite, the Comedy Store benefits from being built for purpose: no other venue in London suits stand-up quite so well (and the beer isn’t too ridiculously priced, either). After starting out above a strip club in Soho, this place made its name throughout the eighties by breaking the pioneers in alternative comedy. It’s happy to host mainstream stars these days, and never struggles to draw top acts, but if you can only make one thing, try The Comedy Store Players, old pros whose improvised shows on Wednesdays and Sundays all but guarantee hilarity. Tuesday’s The Cutting Edge is best for those who like topical humour.

3/15 Old Rope at The Phoenix

Old Rope is popular with circuit veterans and newbies alike, so the weekly show usually has a mix of big names, comedy veterans and ones-to-watch. Host Tiff Stevenson leads an evening of new material – yes, lots of jokes given their test run – and it’s given its name for the noose that hangs over the stage. Ironically, this noose is a bit of a life-saver: if the new act is going badly, comics can grab the rope and fall back on old material.

4/15 Knock2bag

Always top value, the Knock2bag nights offer the chance to indulge in the odder end of the comedy spectrum: expect serious helpings of whimsy, eccentricity and surrealism. If you’re looking for something different, this is your place to go.

5/15 Monkey Business Comedy Club

A first-rate comedy club and well worth travelling for. We’d pick the Thursday night over Saturday, but you’ll get a decent show on either day. There’s a mix of big names and up-and-comers, and host Martin Besserman is a pro who’ll keep you laughing in between acts. Of which, there’s often as many as twelve a night, so you’ll get your money’s worth. If one isn’t to your taste, another promises a laugh.

6/15 Banana Cabaret Club

The Banana Cabaret Club hosts a lot of top drawer comics, and is well loved in comedy circles – in part, because they’ve been going a good thirty years and in part because of the man running things, David Vickers, whose had everyone from Eddie Izzard to Stephen K Amos performing. Stars pop-in, and comedy circuit regulars play often, but it’s also on the finest spots to see new talent . No wonder Marcus Brigstocke name-checked it as his favourite London comedy club. Besides, once the two-hour show is done (typically wrapping up around 11pm), DJs strike up and everyone dances till 2am. Splendid.

http://vivivi.co.uk/

7/15 Piccadilly Comedy Club

Hats off to the Piccadilly for keeping comedy cheap: their shows cost £10 at the most, and they do a ‘meal deal’, where you can eat at Tiger Tiger and see the show for £20 all-in. A bargain. Expect a mix of well-known TV regulars alongside the best newcomers on the scene. Line-ups are particularly well thought out here: they don’t just sling together anyone, so the nights tend to be uniformly excellent.

8/15 Leicester Square Theatre

The Leicester Square Theatre draws the big names, so expect to see top flight acts: Richard Herring hosts a weekly podcast here on Wednesdays, and the likes of Bridget Christie, Micky Flanagan and Frankie Boyle all make it a stopping point on their tours. That said, check the website for what’s upcoming – there are chance to see some under-the-radar sets too.

9/15 Live at Zédel

The excellent Brasserie Zédel – whose Bar Americain is one of the finest drinking spots in the capital – relaunched Crazy Coqs as Live At Zédel last year and following a successful first run, are launching their second season. Besides comedy – the standard is usually very decent – they also host musical theatre and drag acts. The cocktails are terrific and there’s at-table service. Eat in the restaurant beforehand (or after), too: we swung by recently and the food is as good as its ever been. Cheap, too.

10/15 Happy Mondays

This fortnightly show boasts the best new up-and-coming acts in the capital, combined with big name hosts – expect the likes of Miles Jupp, Sara Pascoe and Holly Walsh – who keep the standard up to scratch. Definitely up to par, somewhere to find your new favourite comedian.

11/15 Angel Comedy

Just how a comedy club should be: small, crowded and above a pub. Best of all, it’s free, and each night offers something different, from open-mic nights to well-known names giving their latest sets an airing. Check the website for details, but you won’t be let down – just get down early, as it fills up quickly.

12/15 Ginglik Comedy Club

Following a decade of success in Shepherd’s Bush, this comedy club has found a new home at the ever-popular Roof Gardens. Known as ‘Jimmy Carr’s favourite comedy club’, the Ginglik has had everyone from Al Murray to Robin Williams play, and is set for more success.

13/15 Laugh Out London

The likes of Stewart Lee, Reginald D Hunter and Tony Law play these nights, which gives an idea of just how decent they are. Laugh Out London always do a good job of bringing the highlights from Edinburgh festival to town, so take the chance to see who everyone’s been tweeting about.

14/15 The 99 Club

This Leicester Square club is much, much better than you might expect for a place that continually flyers. A big favourite with the Chortle Awards, it always attracts big names – it runs a little like ‘Live At The Apollo’ but on a smaller scale. There are three acts a night, and shows are fairly priced: some are as cheap as a fiver, though most will cost around £10 – £15. They’ve also got venues in Soho and Covent Garden.

15/15 Live At The Chapel

Bit of a shame that shows here are so few and far between – usually about once a month – but there’s no place more beautiful than the Union Chapel to see comedy in London. The upside is that, with so few performances, they always get the big names headlining, with unfailingly impressive support. Plus there’s usually a live band, who are fab. The atmosphere is everything.

Anthony Devlin/PA Wire

Based on real life experience? “Slightly. My brother’s got a girlfriend in America and he’s having more sex than me.” He laughs. “I get no matches on Tinder. None. Muslim Tinder however, aka Minder… oh boy. You can declare how religious you are on there and a lot of girls, when they find someone who’s not religious, they’re like, ‘Oh, hello’. I’m the bad boy. I never thought I’d play that role.” 

You’ve got to have faith. Even when you don’t. 

Eshaan Akbar’s Prophet Like It’s Hot is at the Gilded Balloon, Edinburgh (edfringe.com) August 1-26

Source: https://www.standard.co.uk/go/london/arts/comedian-eshaan-akbar-i-want-people-to-see-the-funny-side-of-the-koran-a3895681.html

Good Conscience

I don’t think I can accurately categorize Jon Stewart as an imaginary boyfriend because I fantasize about him being so much more than that. I used to fantasize about him being president, but lately that job isn’t looking super legit, so forget that.

I’m not the only one who’s been longing for him this year. So many of us were so devastated when he left the Daily Show because a) he’s one of the greatest people to ever appear on television; and b) he wasn’t going to be there to guide us through the Trump campaign. And that was before we knew Trump was even going to be the nominee, let alone the fucking. President.

I didn’t resent Jon Stewart for leaving though. That job must have been insanely exhausting. Five nights a week for like 15 years. And he’s not some softy late-night host who cracks a few okay jokes before a bunch of celebrities come out. His shows took WORK to write every day. 

This guy was bringing politics and world issues to the minds of fucking TEENAGERS, and making them give a shit. Main reason being he brings people to tears he’s so funny (which will get anyone of any age to pay attention) and because he was talking about how fucked up Washington is in a language we could relate to. Jon Stewart made me care about politics. Not in the sense that I find value in politics, but he made me want to pay attention to what the powerful people of the world were doing. He made millions of people want to pay attention.

I always swooned over Jon Stewart because he’s got an adorable Jewish-looking face (something I’ve always liked for some reason), but he’s also got that gritty New Yorker vibe that I fucking live for. I think he actually lives in Jersey, which is even better. One of my favourite scenes in television history is a monologue he did on Chicago-style deep-dish pizza. He lays on the accent as thick as possible and basically spends 10 minutes smack talking deep-dish pizza like he’s an Italian mobster. The entire scene makes me want to devour him.

I honestly have trouble thinking of anyone who has a better brain than Jon Stewart. He’s so funny and so sharp, and makes such accurate observations about humanity. He’s also super articulate, and has this beautiful way with words. Obviously I get a huge lady boner for that too.

Brain aside, I think the real reason we all love him so much is his heart. If he had just been some cranky comic who talked about the news, he wouldn’t have connected with so many people. He connected with people because his rage came from a good place. A place of compassion for other people. Look at how many years he fought (or is still fighting?) for 9/11 responders to have their medical expenses covered. And look how he’s spending his retirement! Just rescuing and caring for animals? Get atta here. Jon Stewart’s got the biggest heart in the league, if you ask me.

The other day I listened to his interview on Howard Stern and it was like medicine. Just hearing that voice after a while was so soothing. He’s got this amazing way of communicating really clear, deliberate arguments, but speaking so casually at the same time. And then occasionally bursting into that adorable high-pitched chuckle. UGH! Miss himmmm.

He hasn’t even been off the air that long, but he had some interesting stuff to say about what’s happened to political discourse, particularly online.

Years ago he was one of the first voices to really call bullshit on people in politics, and while he sometimes got super passionate or pissed off about an issue, it was ultimately a respectful, intellectual argument he was making. Meanwhile, fans would post clips of these impressive arguments, and title it something like, “Jon Stewart eviscerates congressman” or “Watch Jon completely devastate republican lawmaker.” Suddenly his views were being framed as weapons, celebrated for their destruction. Fast forward a few years and now everyone is arguing their views online constantly, with a lot of people seeming more focused on the anger of their argument than the actual content of it.

OF COURSE he isn’t responsible for the ocean of political vitriol on the Internet, but he said he felt bad because he thinks he may have contributed to the birth of it. And this is ultimately why I love Jon Stewart so much. He’s just so fucking humble. After ALL he’s contributed to our culture, he still doubts himself. Still double-checks himself. Not in an insecure way, just in a human way. He’s all of these incredible things and yet he makes me feel like he’s just like me.

I’m happy Jon Stewart is retired. I’m glad he’s just hanging out on a ranch, naming his cows and spending time with his kids. He deserves it. He got us all to care about politics, so now we have to pay him back and eviscerate Trump together, in his honour.

Schools must change

School 2 So I've had so much feedback! All amazing!! Even those that are not in agreement with my view! Which is awesome! Parents are actually thinking about it! Yay!! The best one I got was, 'aren't you scared that the school your children are at will kick you out?' Hahahahaha!!! That's hilarious! So my question was, why on earth would a school kick us out? I think if teachers and principals could choose, they would probably be making the changes in the system, because they actually agree! Recently there was an article in the Jewish report about ADHD and the overmedication of our kids in private schools and the frightening statistics in comparison to other countries, in the USA specifically! It was a great read! Basically, parents do one of two things: 1. They don't feel like dealing with the actual issues of either remediation or diet or proper parenting or even the failing school curriculum. 2. Competition. So to break this down further, baring in mind this is my 'opinion', 1. a) Remediation - just because your child might need a remedial school, doesn't mean he or she is retarded or incapable or not clever or just not ok! These kids just need a different environment and a different teaching method that suits them! How cool is that?? Imagine if all schools could do that for all our kids? Then everyone could learn in their own way! It's so funny to see how parents deal with this! I've always been very open and proud of my eldest who's been in the remedial system for the last 5 years! We literally celebrate each achievement on his own merits! (And we do the same for my other son, even though he's not remedial) When parents have had all the assessments done and now they are forced to look at the remedial schools, they are so hush hush and often most of them come to me very secretively to ask all sorts of questions and always end with, please don't tell anyone were going! Like you're ashamed about your child needing some assistance? Come on guys, most remedial schools are fantastic and until you see it for yourself, you would beg for ALL your kids to go! 1. b) Diet - so I touched on this one before, and it's definitely a crucial point! As much as our food is unfortunately tainted by so much really bad stuff like pesticides and hormones, it's still really important to give them healthier food as opposed to easy food! I really don't enjoy spending much time in the kitchen and I do tend to look for quick meal ideas. So in doing this, my alternatives are either; pasta or toasted cheese or pizza for lunch OR bowls of cut up fruit and / or vegetables and cheese and nuts and then on alternative days with crackers. At dinner there's always veggies and a salad. Of course not all veggies they'll eat, but it's always on their plate! And eventually they'll hopefully eat it. Just a little more thought into each meal can really make a huge difference! 1. c) proper parenting - now I'm no expert and I have failed on many occasions, but I'm really trying my best and my best is good enough! Of course I have no perfect formula, but what I do know, is that if I just hear them as opposed to listen, it makes a real difference! Everyone is ALWAYS complaining that I don't respond to messages or I don't answer my phone, well it's quite simple! I'm with my kids!! They come first and when I'm with them I'm REALLY with them! I actually play with my kids, and it's really fun! We make a mess and we clean it up! We laugh and they make up the funniest jokes that sometimes don't even make sense! Actual issue - let kids be kids! As a mom, life is hectic!!!!! Just getting to the loo on your own is like squeezing juice out of dried fruit! It's been school holidays, and of course like most of us I was like EEEEEK, how am I gonna get through this with all 4 of them 24/7!! But actually taking away screen time and being in the garden and sitting and playing with them, has been an absolute privilege! They haven't asked for a single play date with friends, it's just been us and sometimes the cousins! My amazing OT gave us the most fun game to play, which I haven't played since I was in primary school! General knowledge! We had so much fun! And I was blown away at how much they know! We've been reading books and playing board games and backgammon! As a friend said about her kids, 'just chilling with my homies!' Now obviously I run a very tight ship and there are definite boundaries that just don't get crossed! And they don't cross them out of fear or that I might be disappointed, but because we respect each other! That's a big one! And I think as parents if we demand respect, we need to give it too! So respect your kids and their differences and their crazy ideas and that maybe they are just having a bad day, cause as a parent and person, I'm different and I have my own crazy ideas and I have bad days too! With that said, I'm not their friend, I'm their mom and as their mom I can be the goal keeper and sometimes their cheerleader and sometimes the disciplinarian! But I'm consistent and I ALWAYS have their back! And I accept everything they are and aren't with a full heart and they ALWAYS feel safe! 1. d) the failing school system!! Yet again, I'm back onto this, yes I am! I'm so passionate about this, cause it's at the very foundation of who our children will ultimately become!! I put this into this parents account, because we parents are sheep! Trusting a system that does not work, that has not changed, that will not change unless we make it happen! TOGETHER!!!! Can you imagine, how awesome it would be to not have to do homework with your kids? Can you imagine fetching them at 1 or 2 and just not rushing for anything else! Just chill and play or chat or let them have the time to make dinner for you?? When last did someone ask you for your matric results? Or better yet your grade 8 results? How about grade 5? No one? Cause no one cares!! So this brings me to point 2 - Competition! Why on earth is competition soooooo important? It's not important, it breeds nothing but disappointment, anger, anxiety, and depression! There's nothing good about competition, unless it's a formal competition! So why are you living vicariously through your kids and making everything they do and everything they are all about competition? What difference does it make, unless it's their career? If your child is not a great soccer player, then why are you pushing him or her to excel at that when there is no natural ability? Sending them for extra soccer lessons privately to give them the extra edge, when actually he would rather learn to play the drums! But that's too noisy so you don't HEAR him and would rather compete with what you've decided they need to compete in! Let's take for example that your child really wants to play soccer and there really is no hope for him to be competitive, but he really wants to try his best! So maybe you'll take him for extra lessons and throw good money at something like that, or you can teach him that soccer can just be fun! And it's a team sport and everyone on the team makes it great and has an essential part to play and best of all, it's awesome to play! Hmmm.... what do you think of that? Academic competitiveness! Parents apply ridiculous demands on their children that in fact, just don't meet reality! Pre teen and teenage suicide rates have sky rocketed in the last few years because of this! South Africa is now 8th in the world in suicide over academics. And each day it's getting worse! There are definite links to bullying as a result of this academic competitiveness as well! I'm not saying that bullying is only due to this, but in many cases a bully becomes a bully because the parents are bullies! That child suffers from being a disappointment to the parents and as a result needs to be satisfied by bullying someone else to feel better about him or herself! Why would any parent put such unrealistic demands on a child? For what reason?? I just don't get it! It's like being in the marketing field and just because you're in the industry you are now required to do graphic design on a project in the next 24 hours. You've never even used the programs for this and don't have a clue how to do the task, yet this is now your requirement! Obviously expectation does not meet reality! Some parents give their kids a Ritalin at exam times, so that they can have the competitive edge and manage their exams better! Helloooooo, those are chemicals messing With their brains and you're Messing them up!!!! Have you ever taken a Ritalin and felt what it feels like? Most people say they feel awful, not many say they feel fantastic!! I was chatting to someone who has a fantastic business. He's so successful and during our conversation he was telling me about how successful he has been on most attributes of his business, but there were those weak parts. So during our discussion, he told me that he had decided to cut out those weak elements and focus on the strengths of his business! Wow!! That's pretty progressive! If he works on his business's strengths and strengthens them further, then those weak elements are no longer elements at all and don't need to be part of the services he offers! That decision took his business from a certain point and it soared to a level he actually didn't realize it would be able to get to! So why don't we strengthen our kids strengths and cut out the weaknesses? Give them confidence to be strong, to be the best they can be at their own pace and at their own thing? Just a thought........ till next time!