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the-hilda-librarians-wife · 8 months

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For every action, a reaction - Chapter 1 - Inertia

Pairing: Raven Scientist (Victoria Van Gale/The Raven Leader)

Summary: Taking a step back from our poetry nerds, this instalment focuses on academic research projects, less than legal shenanigans, and most importantly, two coworkers who are smart enough to be geniuses in their respective areas but apparently not enough to confess.

Over the span of two decades.

Seriously.

Somebody has to do something. Before all their students lose their minds.

Updates weekly.

Notes: Hey, you guys! Welcome to another part in the Carpe Diem series. This one diverges a bit from the previous content (as you may have guessed from the lack of latin motto title), but it was still planned alongside the other fics in the verse and was intended to be part of the story all along. I'd strongly reccomend reading the previous instalments in the verse before getting to this, however, in case sketchbook is not your jam, I guess I should just say that this is an University AU and release you into the wild. Hope you have fun, because I sure had a blast writing it!

You hear those cries for help? Yeah, I currently have @waddles-ex-machina locked in my basement. Only gonna let her out if I hear you all guys saying 'thank you, waddles'. Takes a real trooper to proof read this thing, let me tell you. Brb gotta go check if she's doing well inside the lil cage (which is to say, once more, thank you so much, waddles. you're a true angel <3)

Read it on ao3: (Carpe Diem verse) (This chapter)

When Victoria first came to the University of Trolberg, she was full of energy and eager to prove herself. The university had accepted her for their doctorate program, during which she’d also be an assistant professor to the Weather Sciences undergrads, and she couldn’t wait to spread the knowledge she’d acquired (and to get even more in the process).

The project she was working on wasn't exactly revolutionary; she’d get there, eventually, there was still time. But it was something that made her heart beat faster, so she was sure she’d end up doing a better job than all those stuffy professors who walked around like the world had done them a disservice by existing. Victoria was excited by the knowledge and the possibilities, and she was sure that that was the right path.

Before the school year even began, she found herself treading through the campus grounds, holding in her hands a device she’d helped build. Her current research was on the effect aerosols had on the weather, so she’d decided that measuring the concentrations of those particles in the area she’d be studying for the next couple of years would be helpful.

One thing she hadn’t taken into consideration, however, was the fact that for her being focused meant losing any notion of time. And space. And reality. And, well, anything that would be useful to her in an unfamiliar, open field. But that was just life, wasn’t it?

She’d been in the middle of gently hitting her device, since its panel had started showing readings that were most certainly not true, when an all too familiar rumble filled the air. Victoria should have realised this was coming, it was her job, goddamnit, but she’d been too immersed in walking around with her measuring machine and writing its readings down to notice the things that really mattered: the static in the atmosphere, the humidity, the clouds closing in and blocking the sunlight.

The price for her misstep came in the form of heavy drops of cold water. Knowing that rain was only the first step, and that soon lightning would likely follow, Victoria began running away as fast as she could. At some point during her walking, she’d entered a forest that she assumed was where the Biology people did their field work, and among the trees she had remained. If she wanted to survive much longer, though, she would have to change that immediately.

Victoria barely felt the weight of her backpack as she jumped over fallen tree branches and dodged puddles of mud. What was truly bothering her were her clothes; the feeling of wet clothes sticking to her skin drove her insane, making her wonder how wise it was to stop running and take them all off. In the end she decided that risking death by lightning or by pneumonia wasn’t worth it, but spent her entire marathon cursing the water that dripped from her clothes and down her legs, soaking her socks inside her galoches. As soon as she was safe, she promised herself she’d fling them far, far away.

Strands of black hair stuck to her forehead, but she didn’t have the time to stop and tie them back, even if they drove her as insane as her clothes. She needed to get out of there, if lightning began and hit one of the trees near her, she was a dead woman.

Or at least a really angry and hurt one.

When finally the limit of the forest came into sight, Victoria almost laughed in victory; she only didn’t do so because she realised that what came next was an open field, and if any rays decided to fall in the general vicinity, she’d certainly be taken for target. There really was no way to win.

Breathing heavily, she stopped running when she reached the border of the forest. Water and wind clouded her vision and made her eyes sting, and with the part of her brain that hadn’t been overcome by adrenaline and sent into survival mode she thought that it would have been much smarter of her to have turned back the way she came when the rain started, instead of running further into the unknown. But there was no turning back now.

There was a scream in the distance.

With the gale ricocheting all around her, it was a wonder she even heard it, and a miracle she didn’t assume that it was coming from inside her own mind. But another second of attention made her recognize the scream for what it was.

An offer of help.

“Over here!” The voice shouted. “A few more metres! There’s shelter!”

Fuck it. Victoria thought. I’m gonna die anyway, it might as well be in the hands of a stranger in the woods. I hope they make a true crime podcast about me.

So she ran. And when she was close enough that the curtain of falling water didn’t stop her from seeing it, a small cottage showed itself to her with all the grandiosity of an oasis in the desert.

Almost as soon as she was on the porch, a towel was put over her shoulders. She was told to take off her boots and go inside the house, where the person who had shouted after her, a woman with a kind smile and short brown hair made her sit in front of the fire to warm herself.

She was safe. That same woman would later on give her a warm change of clothes and a mug of tea, and tell her she’d only been able to see her because of the light coming from her device, which had not resisted the run through the open field. That would lead them to talk about Victoria’s project, which would in return spark a conversation about the woman’s job, and lead them to the realisation that they worked for the same university now, and would be kind of like coworkers once classes began.

And that was the first time Victoria met Birgitta Bloom.

………

The first time the Earth Sciences department organised a joint lecture and invited both of them to be in it, it had seemed like a happy coincidence. It had still been early on in the semester, but the head of the department had found it best to offer that presentation as soon as possible; conclusions about climate change became more worrying by the second, after all. At that point, they had already become friendly acquaintances, waving and smiling at each other whenever they crossed paths in a corridor and following each other on facebook, however little they both used it.

It was by doing so, in fact, that Victoria had found out that the cottage she’d met Birgitta in was her own, and part of the land she and a couple of other sponsors had bought in order to keep it for conservation. It was a budding project, but a noble one in Victoria’s opinion, and the only thing that surprised her about it was that apparently during her foray she’d left the campus’ grounds without even noticing. She only hoped there hadn’t been any fences she’d jumped over, because otherwise she’d really need to worry about her lack of attention to her surroundings.

Excited about having been invited to take part in something like that, Victoria had found Birgitta in her office and invited her over for coffee at her apartment, so that they could plan their lesson properly.

That was a normal thing that coworkers did on a strictly professional scope, right?

Not having had a car, or any loved ones living in Trolberg when she moved there for her doctorate, Victoria hadn’t seen the point in renting a place in town. Instead, she lived in an apartment complex that was just outside of campus, like most students who were there to continue their education after their masters degree.

They took the ten minute walk there together, shooting ideas for the lecture at each other. She kept worrying she’d run out of things to say, and then the silence between them would be awkward, but it hadn’t been the case. It seemed like the more they talked, the more they had to discuss with each other.

Her apartment wasn’t at all impressive, especially not now that she hadn’t even bothered to finish taking all of her possessions out of their cardboard boxes and into their new designated places. Victoria had figured she’d spend most of her time in the campus, so she had only rented a one bedroom with a living room and a small kitchen. Knowing her working habits, she might as well have rented a bedroom on its own, but Helper needed a bit more space to lounge around.

In the end, it was him who first caught Birgitta’s attention when they arrived. They had been talking about how it would be good to open their lecture giving the audience an update on recent studies and findings and then move on to a discussion, when Victoria opened the front door and they were put face to face with a scruffy orange cat, licking its own side.

“Oh, how adorable!” Birgitta squealed at the first sight of it, making him startle and look up at her. “Is it yours?”

Victoria closed the door behind them and blinked as her coworker crouched down to let her cat sniff her hand.

“Well, it is my house. Would be a little awkward if he wasn’t, really.”

“What’s his name?” The cat already was pressing his head against her hand, earning a gentle caress to his pale fur. Old age was beginning to come for the poor dear.

“Helper.” She stood by her side in the middle of her living room, watching as her cat, who barely ever let anyone other than her come close, purred in delight with Birgitta’s attention.

“Oh, and does he help you with anything?”

“He knocks my stuff over, so there’s that.”

Birgitta’s chuckle was melodic and gentle, which was fortunate. If her laughter was the loud type that sounded like something breaking, Victoria would probably still try to get it out of her, but she wouldn’t enjoy her success as much.

This sound, however? She could hear that for the rest of her life with no complaints. And little did she know at that time, but that was precisely what she would have to do.

…......

Fifteen years later

“You’re distracted today, professor.” The girl said, sipping at her coffee while looking at her with curious eyes. “More than usual, at least. Did anything happen?”

With a weary sigh, Victoria let her spine slide down the back of the bench they were sitting at, making her posture look more like a shrimp’s than that person’s. It was a cold winter morning; Christmas break was only a couple of weeks away, and Victoria was eagerly looking forward to it. Not for Christmas in itself, but to get an escape from the nightmare circus that was her life in that University. She hugged her knee length white coat, which looked almost like a cold weather version of the lab coat she was always in, tighter around herself as if that could protect her from that student’s penetrating stare.

“Don’t worry about me, kid. I’m fine.”

The lift of her brows was enough to tell Victoria that she didn’t believe her for a moment.

“Listen, you don’t have to tell me.” She said, toying with a ring on her finger with one hand and holding her paper cup with the other, fingers stiff due to the cold. “But you’ve seen me vulnerable and you’ve helped. I just want you to know you can trust me to do the same.”

It was hard to not trust her, given all the maturity and strength she’d shown since they met, but surely there were boundaries that had to be respected in a relationship between professor and alumni. It had been a weird day, that. She’d been in the library, looking for a book one of her students had asked her about, and heard some sniffing from a nearby shelf. Somehow, she’d ended up at the cafeteria, trying her best to console someone who was barely more than a teenager, and definitely not Victoria’s problem.

And yet, here they were. They had each other’s phone numbers and now frequently met for coffee around campus. After all, what was Victoria losing with that? Even after all those years at the university, she hadn’t made any true friends, and that student seemed like the sort of person who also didn’t have the easiest of rides connecting to people.

Especially not now that her reputation had been trashed, she supposed.

In the end, she decided that no matter how unprofessional it was, it would do no harm, so why keep avoiding it? She’d already found herself in a spot where she was in love with the same woman for over a decade and the only person she felt comfortable enough to open her heart to was a disgraced English and History student, so it wasn’t like things could possibly get worse at that point. Or at least, she preferred to believe they couldn’t.

“Ugh. You win.” She groaned, as if she hadn’t been dying to talk the subject over with someone. “The person I like is single again. She broke up with her boyfriend - they were only together for a couple of months, really - and before I came to meet you she found me and gave me the news. She was smiling. What the hell does it mean when someone tells you they’re single while smiling?”

Kaisa gave her a level look after checking that there was no coffee left in her cup. “Listen, I am far from being an expert. But my mother made me sit through enough romcoms that I think it’s safe to say she wants you to ask her out.”

“It’s not like that between us.” Victoria rolled her eyes. “It can’t be like that. We basically work together, imagine the mess if we got together and the even bigger mess if we fell apart!”

“Don’t you think that that’s a problem for… future Victoria?” Kaisa answered, hoping that it was the right thing to say. In all honesty, she could see the merit in that logic of Victoria’s. Not risking it was definitely safer, and you sure as hell wouldn’t catch her doing something silly like ‘confessing feelings’ anywhere in the near future. But the girl found that she was much better at helping people when she gave the advice she imagined Tildy would give, instead of her own.

“Well, yeah, but future Victoria would be pissed if I let her take the fall. Besides, I don’t even know if she likes women!”

“Show me a picture.”

Victoria blinked at her. “Pardon?”

“Yeah, show me a picture. I want to know what she looks like.”

Sure, why not, Victoria thought even as she picked up her cellphone in her pocket. It’s not like we’re both professors at the institution where she studies. How badly could this end?

After a brief moment of fumbling with her gloves before she managed to unlock her phone, she opened Birgitta's profile on Instagram, and handed it into Kaisa’s waiting hands.

“I hate this website.” Victoria grumbled, shifting uncomfortably in her seat. “No idea how to use it.”

Without looking up, Kaisa answered. “And yet, you have an account.”

“Yes, well-” She failed to keep herself in check and began bouncing a leg. “It’s the one she’s the most active in currently.”

“Aw, that is cute.” Still scrolling through the profile, Kaisa had been too immersed in looking at the pictures to remember to put any intonation in her sentence, but Victoria appreciated the sentiment even if it was delivered in a monotone. “I’ll give it to you, I hate it as well. Can’t see the point in it.”

“Even for stalking crushes?” Victoria snorted.

“Oh, I don’t think I have to worry about there being any cottagecore lesbians in my future.”

“What the-” She stopped bouncing her leg as she turned to the girl, who was still scrolling. “What the fuck is a cottagecore?”

“It’s this.” Kaisa looked up and met her eyes for long enough to assure herself that the professor could see her pointing at the screen. “This is a cottagecore. She’s gay, by the way.”

Victoria opened her mouth. No sound came out, but a puff of smoke came from it. From the moment she’d met Kaisa, the girl had acted a lot more insecure than what the professor would consider healthy. And yet, here she was, sounding like a judge issuing a verdict.

“But she had a boyfriend.”

“I’m using ‘gay’ as an umbrella term” Kaisa rolled her eyes, like she was the professor talking to an uneducated interlocutor. “And she has a pixie cut. There’s just no other explanation.”

With her elbows resting against her knees and rubbing her temples, the scientist sighed. “Listen, I know that this may be the case for your generation, and if it is, all the power to you guys, but there are some truly nasty people my age with pixie cuts, you know?”

“Well, yeah, but she leads a conservation land trust, so she’s clearly not a Karen. Gay is the only other option.”

Victoria opted against asking who Karen was and why she was bad, and turned to look at Kaisa again. The girl was looking at her with one corner of her mouth lifted up. Either it was an attempt at a compassionate smile, or the girl was restraining herself from laughing at her. Victoria decided that both were equally probable as she was handed her cell phone again.

“Don’t stress about it. I’m sure everything will work out in its due time.”

“You sound like one of those generic gift cards.”

“Isn’t that how comforting people works?”

It was, Victoria supposed. But next time she’d probably rather Kaisa be direct with her and just tell her what she was thinking. There were enough cheesy gift cards in the world, Kaisa didn’t need to pose as one of them. Something told Van Gale that the girl probably felt the same.

“Anyway. Thank you for listening, even if this was stupid. See, this is why I love your generation. I don’t even have to worry about you being a bigot before coming out.”

The look Kaisa gave her made her wonder if she had inadvertently committed a hate crime, or if she had been wrong and Kaisa had been just waiting for the conversation to end to commit a hate crime herself.

“Holy shit.” The student whispered, bringing her hands to her mouth as her eyebrows drew closer. “Van Gale, I know the first thing we need to fix in your life.”

“And that is…?”

“Your abysmal fucking gaydar.”

………

One year later

Edmund felt lost in his life. After having graduated in Biology, there seemed to be so many possible roads ahead of him that there might as well be none. Did he have the patience to go into teaching? The focus to go into research? The drive to go into field work? If anyone knew, it certainly wasn’t him. So he did what anyone whose only certainty was not wanting to move back in with their parents did.

He decided to get another level of education.

I’m his defence, it wasn’t just because he was unsure of what to do next. He had an actual passion for Conservation Ecology, and since one of his favourite professors had noticed it and offered to advise him for his thesis and somehow get him a scholarship if he did a Masters, he really didn’t see a reason not to.

Besides, someone needed to stay in the house to look after his little cousin.

Professor Bloom was, in his opinion, a genius. And a very productive one, at that. You could shoot her whatever question you wanted to about local wildlife and she’d answer without a second’s wait, on top of putting her money where her mouth was and guiding several projects, all of which Edmund had read all about while deciding if getting this degree was a good idea.

His heart almost jumped to his throat when the door to her office opened and the woman herself found him standing in the corridor. He’d had contact with her while graduating, of course; if she hadn’t noticed his interest, he never would have bagged the offer she gave him. But it was one thing to be in projects she led in the university, and another entirely to have private tutorings on the subject she mastered.

He was coming to realise he was maybe a bit of a fanboy.

With a warm smile, professor Bloom opened the door wider and invited him in. There was a desk at the centre of the office, and behind it a glass window. By the desk, there were two chairs that had been angled somewhere between facing each other and facing the table.

“I just want to make it crystal clear I won’t be putting any pressure on you.” The woman began as she took a seat in one of them, leaving him no choice but to do the same. She eyed him with kindness and curiosity, making him feel a little like he was one of the critters she studied. Considering she was one of the best in her field, that probably meant something good for him. “Now, I imagine you have already given some thought about what your thesis will be, or have some options to explore. May we discuss them?”

He had, thank God, been able to bring some material for discussion, and he said as much as he opened his backpack to grab his laptop. It had been hard to settle down on one topic to concentrate his studies on during his Masters, so he had found it best to bring all of his ideas to his first tutoring, so that professor Bloom could tell him which would be the most useful ones. And which ones the university would be able to provide for, as well.

Just as he was opening his word document, however, there was a knock on the door, and the person on the other side didn’t bother waiting for a ‘come in’ to show herself.

“Birgitta, I got it!” Exclaimed a tall, slim woman as she opened the door. Professor Bloom, who had been patiently waiting for Edmund to present her his ideas, immediately turned her attention to the newcomer. “The project got approved- oh, sorry, I didn’t realise this wasn’t a good time.”

He managed to not allow himself to feel guilty for being in a professor’s office for an appointment at the time of the day he had specifically been invited to be there, but it wasn’t by a lot. The woman looked so crestfallen to notice him there that Edmund felt like he had done something wrong.

“Oh, that is wonderful!” Professor Bloom got up and walked closer to the woman holding out both hands to gently hold her arms. “Don’t worry, that’s just one of my students. I’m going to help him right now but maybe later we can meet up. I’d love to hear more.”

“Oh, there’s nothing much to say, really.” There was now an embarrassed blush tinting her cheeks, and she lowered her gaze to the ground. “I just received the news that they want me to carry on with the research and wanted to share it with you. It’s no big deal.”

“It is a big deal. It’s amazing. But I won’t push you about it. Send me a text if you want to share something else, okay?”

“Okay.”

Both of them looked like they had deflated considerably as the door was closed and the professor returned to her former seat next to him. Had that been his presence’s fault? It had seemed like it but at the same time, Edmund was reasonably sure that they had managed to downscale their conversation themselves.

“Sorry, mr. Pearson.” Professor Bloom said, eyes still glued to the door. “That was professor Van Gale. I imagine you’ll have some contact with her now that you’re in Conservation. Where were we?”

Even as they went back to the matter at hand, there was still a wistful haze in Birgitta’s eyes, one that Edmund recognized for what it was.

Oh no.

It was going to be a long couple of years.

.........

Two years later

If a body is at rest or moving at a constant speed in a straight line, it will remain at rest or keep moving in a straight line at constant speed unless it is acted upon by a force. Edmund knew so, because his need for money to sustain himself in college had driven him to work in a professor’s project that involved a lot more physics than he would ever have liked to work with. Technically, he was working in the environmental and zoological parts of Ahlberg’s project, but the admission exam had required him to study some of the cornerstones for the engineering that was also involved in it.

The point was, he now had all those laws and formulas lodged in some corner of his mind, even if they barely had a chance to get out.

This was one of those chances.

It was a climate change panel, because of course it was. Every year they had at least one of those in the university, with attendance being mandatory for some courses and open to all. The annoying thing was - besides the nerve-wrecking statistics and new climate studies, that is - that every time, the same two professors were called. Sometimes there were other guests called to the round table to bring more sides to the discussion, but no matter what, professor Bloom and professor Van Gale were always there. And from older students, he had come to learn that it had been like this for as long as anyone could remember.

And they were always wrecks.

A big part of Edmund thought that the fact that they had sustained feelings for each other for so long was truly adorable. Anyone who had the slightest contact with either would be able to see how much they cared for each other. But there was a time and a place for longing glances and blushing when caught looking at your crush, and a lecture hall filled with university students, with a power point presentation on the climate crisis behind yourself was not it.

When the discussion ended and they were all free to go, Edmund tried to look around for Gerda, who he had come into the lecture with, only to find her staring fixedly at the professors. They were struggling to walk past the door frame, since they seemed to be stuck in an endless loop of ‘after you’. Not bearing to witness that for too long, they both gave each other a look that clearly asked ‘are you also seeing this shit?’, even though they both had lessons with professor Bloom and had, in fact, seen this sort of shit more times than they could count.

When they began their Masters, they used to keep the last page of their notebook to count how many times she’d bring up professor Van Gale, or how many times they’d behold any suspiciously yearning action from her. It used to be fun.

It wasn’t funny anymore.

With a sigh, Edmund put his backpack on his shoulders again, and made way for the exit with his friend in tow.

They would keep at that for eternity, if they were allowed to. Someone would have to be the external force.

#verse: carpe diem #fic: feaar #omg i hadn't noticed the fic name spells out like that KJHSDKJHSDKFJH #this one is like the opposite of an angel greeting. BE afraid. Be very afraid. these lesbians don't know what theyre doing #and they are dangerous #raven scientist #raven scientist ship #my fic #victoria van gale #the raven leader hilda

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