Pasta I hope you start to feel better soon🙏💕

And sdv is the game for when you’re feeling bad😂 I played it so much when I was sick and could barely leave the bed that I was dreaming with my farm🥴 my BFF was so tired of me sending her sdv memes 24/7

Who are you planing to marry?👀

Thank you so much! I keep telling myself the recovery is happening faster than the first time I got COVID in 2020 (might even be well enough to go sit in a bookstore for my birthday on Wednesday!), but damn is it still taking a while. 😪

And it really is, like holy shit, it's perfect for sick and can barely move! I already had, like, my super sick comfort show (Great British Baking Show) - peaceful, calming, wholesome, fun food, and it was basically on 24/7 for the first few super sick days. But I did NOT know there was what feels like a gaming equivalent, moodwise. 😂 Like you said, it's perfect when you can barely move, just medded up and out of it, but there are COWS to pet and you can plant SEEDS and look at this little HARVEST FESTIVAL, will you win this year??? Look at all these characters with their backstories! You can fix the community center with FOOD. I'm deep down the rabbit hole now, 100% my super sick comfort game 🥰

And I'm going for Sebastian! 😅 I gave him a sparkly rock and he liked it, and I too love sparkly rocks. Plus, comics! D&D games! Brooding loner type but shy and secretly sweet! Marry me sir, adopt my farm animals as your children.

First off I just wanna say I love your writing so much tbh. The way you write Shane is just *chief kiss.* Second, how do you think the bachelors would react if they found the farmer on a ✨spicey✨ website? (Old or new 😉 lmao)

Thank you so much! Messages like this make my day! 🩷 This is such a fun idea, I loved writing it and I hope you enjoy!

Stardew Bachelors Find Your OnlyFans

Long before you moved to the Valley while you were still slumming it in the big city at your shitty office job in the big blue Joja building, you decided to start an OnlyFans. It was tasteful and sexy, you were having fun with it until you got word that Grampa was sick then passed away shortly thereafter and due to the upheaval of your life that followed, you completely forget about your account and one-day Stardew's most eligible bachelors stumbled upon it.

Harvey - He immediately turns a bright red upon gazing at your semi exposed body, you're topless, arm covering your breasts with a huge amounts of cleavage. "Oh, my" Harvey gulps, blinking his eyes several times to make sure he wasn't seeing things "I shouldn't be looking at this" He reprimands himself and turns away as he begins cleaning his glasses before placing them back on his face and taking another peek at the computer screen.

Alex - "Whoa! Farmer Girl is fit!" Alex says out loud as he stares at a picture of you standing naked in front of the mirror, turned to the side so your bits are hidden just enough but not completely as you cover your nipples with your hand. Alex can't help but lick his lips and smirk as he reaches for the box of Kleenex and bottle of lotion next to his bed.

Sam & Sebastian - "Seb! Look!" Sam shouts as he damn near runs into Sebastian while trying to show him what he just discovered. Sebastian's eyes go wide when he sees you leaning over the counter, full cleavage on display with a very sultry look on your face as you suck on your finger. "Is that the farmer?" Sebastian asks as he blushes a little, shocked and turned on at the same time. Sam just nods and keeps scrolling. "I'm gonna ask her out" Sam says boldly "What? No! I told you I was!" Sebastian protests "Well I saw her first" Sam argues. The two go back and forth the rest of the aftetnoon about who is going to ask you out.

Shane - "Holy shit" Shane choked when saw the first picture. You were laying on your back, camera positioned above you while you had one leg slightly crossed over the other and your arm covering your breasts. Shane couldn't tear his eyes aware from the screen and that made him start to feel guilty since he had been anything but nice to you and now he was oogling your nudes. After a few moments he decided he would try and be nicer to you since clearly you were a far cry from the boring city girl turned farmer he thought you were and also you were pretty damn sexy.

Elliot - He is pleasantly surprised to discover these images of you, at first it was a bit off putting but then he realized just how tasteful and beautiful they were "My, these are absolutely exquisite" He'd mumble to himself in awe as he viewed a picture of you standing against a window with a sheer fabric covering you yet leaving very little to the imagination.

UGGHFIFJFUFJFJ PEOPLE BETTER SEE THE ART BECAUSE I WILL SOB I AM SPENDING SO LONG ON DRAWING MY STARDEW VALLEY FARMER BUT I GOT CARRIED AWAY AND I'M REALLY INTO LIKE BIRD BUT ALSO SILLY CREATURES THAT GLOW AND I LIKE THW IDEA OF HYBRIDS SO I MADE MY FARMER A HYBRID THAT CAN GLOW AMBER LIKE WHEN THE SUN SHINES ON HIM AND THEN HE GLOWS ONLY SLIGHTLY WHEN THE MOON SHINES ON HIM(mf lights up like the moon jellies and panics the moment someone brings up that if he can glow he can be thrown in the water with the moon jellies and he has to climb on top of Willys shop and stay there for the rest of the time BC that person is trying their damn hardest tryna get him and throw him in the water you can decide) AND HRRRRRRGRGRGRGRHRHRHR PAIANNN BECAUSE I LOCE BOTH COLLOE PALLWRTS AND MY PARTNER SAID "it's like sun and moon" because the amber color pallet I made I inverted the color and it was a dark blue which looked pretty as well so. ......using both .... For color ... MWA MWA MWA I LOVE THSIWJDIDJDJ ITS PAIN BUT I LOVE DRAWINF I wanna show you a bit (THANK GOD IT SAVED I WOULD CRY IF I HAD TO REWRITE ALL OF THIS)

My fucking set up as I draw..... Getting more food atm (pls don't mind my half eaten steak, that's steak I ripped up)

Anyways to the color pallets

LIKE HOLY SHIT LOOK????

You are not getting a sneak peak of my male hybrid farmer . You can wait.

going to tryand do a weekly journal type thing for 2024. i forget a lot of stuff so this is my new years resolution ok here we go

1/7/24

been cleaning out my bedroom at my parents house over break. lots of old stuff there i’d forgotten about. found a bunch of old sketchbooks (which i sorted by year and put away) and it really put in perspective how long i’ve been drawing. i’ve got sketchbooks from before i had a tumblr in that pile (making them impossible to get an exact year on) kinda want to go back and redraw some realllly old stuff of mine. maybe something of eggs since i’ve been working on her story lately.

also in the Cleaning i have found a crochet project i completely forgot about. i made like 60% of a sweater two years ago (i hand dyed the wool and everything). luckily i still had the pattern downloaded so i just yesterday finished the arms. now all i gotta do is block it and add the ribbing and i’m done. its a nice wool, one that is actually cozy rather than being itchy so i’m excited.

done some mending also. fixed some rips in my dad’s pants with some sashiko. not my cleanest work but it holds it together and fixes the problem. he was really excited about it :)

got in the case for a keyboard i’m building. my first custom keyboard!! the switches are pre-lubed so i’m debating if i want to get some and re-do it or if i’m satisfied as is.

i’ve started recording cassettes!!! its super easy to do right from my laptop and i’ve been having lots of fun making the j cards. very happy that i bought that recorder its so cool. so far i’ve done some The Unicorns stuff and i plan on doing Burnout Beautiful next. probably the demos on the a side and the one live performance recording on youtube on the b side (maybe after that i should do mook?)

in that vein, i’ve also been editing lyrics on genius. i needed lyrics to put on the little insert i made but some lyrics are wrong and now i’ve made it a mission to transcribe. made it to 300 IQ this week. transcribing is fun if hard.

started a stardew valley co-op farm with gort. we played for like 5 hours straight yesterday and got almost all the way through spring. sal is making our farm so cute and its so nice to hang out and just work together. need to make this a regular thing. overall not a super eventful week but a nice one. very chill.

some goals for next weekish

block the sweater

try on all the clothes in my bedroom and decide what can stay and what can be donated

start the drawing my boyfriends commissioning me for

set up my capture card so i can stream ghost trick to gort

pick out an eggs drawing from my old sketchbooks to redraw

record burnout beautiful to cassette

start crossposting things from twitter. i refuse to abandon this blog even if my brain is awful at remembering to post

songofthe week

pics below cut because this is long enough as it is

>eggs (from one of said sketchbooks)

> sweater (pre-finishing off the arms)

> mending on my dads jeans (ft. the INCREDIBLE scissors he got me for christmas. holy shit these things feels so good to cut with)

> bespoke the unicorns cassette (it says volume 1 because i put multiple albums on there so i dont waste tape)

> stardew valley fun (i’m the one in the straw hat)

> the keyboardddddd (i'm typing on it right now and WOW i love this thing already)

I am. Very much a whore. For breeding kink. So maybe one where the reader had enthusiastically agreed to being bred by monster Tom? Trans man reader, if you don’t mind 🥺

Sorry I am just. 👀👀👀👀👀👀

Also the idea of someone wanting to do a big commitment like. Having a kid is like my biggest part of having a breeding kink so the fact that it’s the main reason for his ALSO is just. *phew*

I'm so sorry I got distracted by Stardew Valley in the middle of writing this sdjkfdfgsfsdnjkf. You've opened the flood gates in my mind because holy shit me too. I do not want children but this whole scenario is so so appealing and has me going 💕.

______________________________________________________

It was still hard to believe this was happening. Even as Tom wrecked your insides. His large hands pinned you down and every so often he’d lean down to nip your shoulders with his sharp teeth. You two had talked about it so thoroughly and for so long but. You wouldn’t truly believe it until the egg was nestled inside you.

Excitement rose in your chest. A child. You two were going to have a child.

“You’re doing so good for me honey,” Tom groans. “So wet and sweet tasting. All drippy for me.”

While his pace wasn’t as fast as it’d normally be when he was like this, it still had your thighs trembling around Tom’s waist. Your walls clenched and fluttered around your boyfriend’s cock as he sent white hot pleasure through you.

He leaned down to kiss you and angled to hit your sweet spot. “I want you to cum for me a few times before I fill you up, okay?” he murmurs. He carefully uses the pad of his thumb to rub your clit and that was all it took.

No longer could you perform any coherent sentences besides slurred cries of Tom’s name and “I love you”s. After you were sure his cock was coated with your essence from the number of times you had cum, Tom’s pace picked up faster and faster until he was pressing you against the bed with most of his weight, pounding into you.

“One more time,” he gasps. “Please honey, just one more time. Cum with me before we’re parents.”

Tom rubs your clit as fast as he can. Every thrust hits your sweet spot and together, you both cum. He thrusts into you one last time before his hips still, burying his cock inside your pussy as deep as he can go.

“This might hurt,” he quietly warns. He kisses you again. “I’ll keep touching your pretty clit, okay? I don’t want this to be a horrifying experience for you.”

“Keep kissing me and it won’t be,” you rasp, voice hoarse.

He chuckles and obeys, pressing countless kisses against your skin and the occasional one on your mouth.

It burns a little, but you let him continue to rub you. It isn’t long before you feel Tom’s dick expand.

“Shit,” he groans. “This feels…”

He never finishes his sentence. Instead, he kisses you hard and his hand speeds up. You’re glad he decided to do that because pain mixes with the pleasure as something the size of a small ball squeezes through your walls.

But it only lasts a few minutes and before you know it, you're cumming on Tom’s cock one last time as something sits snug in the pit of your stomach.

“I love you. I love you so much.” Tom laughs as he pulls out of you. He doesn’t bother with hefting your legs above his shoulders to clean you up this time like he usually would. “We’re going to be fathers!”

You laugh and cup his face. “We certainly are. But… Are you sure this is going to work? Do you-”

Tom cups your face back. “We’ve talked about this my love.” One of his hands moves from your face to your stomach. “As long as our precious egg is here, I’ll keep fucking you over and over until it starts to grow.”

“Right,” you mumble. “To fertilize it.”

Tom gives you a peck on the lips. “Don’t worry your pretty little head about it. If this one doesn’t work, we’ll just try again.” He grins. “It’s not as if I’m in any shortage of eggs.”

He moves off of you, lying beside you. He covers the two of you with the blanket and pulls you close.

“Rest for now, We’ll continue in the morning and we can have a nice, relaxing day.”

You hum and cuddle into his fur. Just as you feel him start to shift back, you doze off into sleep.

So this post was going to be a part of a much bigger post, but after realizing that I wouldn’t be able to address the character so quickly and shortly on something such as a countdown post, I relegated it to its own thing. Same with how I’m going to address each and every other character in Stardew Valley. Now, with that said, time to get on with said post. 

My Problem with Shane

I would say put down your pitchforks and torches, but I doubt all of you are willing to listen, but try to hear me out. Please.

Initially when I was going to write about everyone’s favorite chicken man it was going to be on a list dedicated to the bachelors and bachelorettes of Stardew Valley ranking all six in each post from least favorite to favorite. Shane, to everyone’s shock and probably offense *lol*, was put as dead last on the bachelor one. I did write my feelings about him promptly going to the next above him and going from there. I ended up not finishing the list because it kept bothering me that I didn’t cover my feelings or opinion enough on not only Shane, but the other few bachelors. So here we are where I’ve decided to scrap the old post and now cover all of those things I didn’t fully address on Shane.

I want to make this clear first and foremost: I don’t hate Shane. I just have some issues with him. He just rubs me the wrong way, if you will, and I say this as someone who has recently been diagnosed with moderate depression and grew up with an abusive alcoholic father: I would never marry, let alone date someone like Shane whether it be in the real world or in a video game. On some level I understand where Shane is coming from and can sympathize with him to some degree in the game (and in the fandom too) like it wants me to, but I feel as though there’s some gaps missing in his story because something doesn’t sit well in Shane’s story for me… Maybe his 10-heart event is completely different compared to his other heart events? Or how he sort of feels regressed back to his old-self when you first met in game when you get married? I also have very mixed feelings on the 14-heart event. Like, I understand, depressed people don’t magically get better and just coast along afterwards like they’re happy with the world and love life, but at the same time it’s almost like he had no growth after you got married. Hope I’m making sense…

I’d like to address an issue I have with the fandom regarding Shane. Not to sound rude or anything, but I feel as though a lot of people have this weird warped view of the man. Like, I remember seeing this fanfic titled “The One Where Shane Isn’t the Problem” (and no hate towards the author or anything) and I’m thinking: um?? Have you played the game?? He’s a bit of an asshole, especially upon first meeting him. He’s not some precious baby. Not saying he has to be rainbows and sunshine to strangers, but holy hell he is not some awkward sweet guy. He even addresses this as you get to know him and apologizes for being like that! I also find it weird that people like to draw/write him being built or having abs or being super tall when he mentions in marriage dialogue he wishes he was taller. Um, y'all know he’s a lazy drunk, right? He’s out of shape and in his pixel art it shows him looking sloppy. Since he eats junk food and drinks beer I’m pretty sure he has a beer belly. (I’m not saying out of shape or overweight people are unattractive, for the record.) Why do you guys fetishize the man?? I know for a fact that if y’all met someone like Shane in real life you’d treat him like shit or like you were better than him. I mean, maybe we’d have some people with that “I can change him or fix him” mindset, but by that point that’s just some of y’all with savior complexes and that’s just as bad… Either way, I am not a fan of Shane, as a depressed bastard myself. 

Now, I know someone is going to come in here talking about the reason why he was abusing alcohol, and I’d like to say that that doesn’t give Shane a freebie to do whatever he wants. I’ve lost loved ones that were near and dear to my heart, and even though I could have handled their losses better, losing people doesn’t give anyone the right to act, say, and do whatever they want to do, which in Shane’s case is to be a depressed drunk who lashes out at everyone including his living loved ones.

I will say that the memes and humor pieces of fanart (and some fanfiction) do make me laugh because I’ll admit that I have a pretty dark sense of humor. Not to mention I have read fanfics where they took the character fleshing him out better to where I related more with him as well as actually liked the character better.

My Stardew Valley started flipping out cause i was playing it for 14 hours strait and it legit did some creepy pasta stuff so heres a creepy pasta

reality: somewhere around hour 10 Kent’s sprite only loaded half way (his eyes and up) or not at all. Willy was just a shadow- even when interacting with him. at one point he phased though Haley (and it was the only time his sprite was fully visible) side note: me and my sister declared willy a ghost because the fishing in my game was such lack luster. Gunther was probably the same since i never saw him at the museum but was still able to donate. lastly Alex glitched though a already glitched haley- she was on the beach even though her schedule wouldn’t have put her there. i wasn’t able to interact with her but a part of me wonders if i went to her house (where she was suppose to be) if i would see her shadow and would be able to interact with her there, but i was too far in a “yup. totaly writing a creepy pasta about this now” mood.

The Creepy pasta:

i really don’t know what to say now other than everyone was right- a game about a fun little town in a sleepy valley being secretly evil? yeah, its true. 

i was playing Stardew Valley one day with my sister- i had woken up in a sour mood and i wanted to cheer myself up. at one point she came by and hung out with me, watching me play on my farm and the normal day to day antics with the pelican town NPCs. we were laying on my bed since it was the only place comfortable enough to play on the laptop for hours on end.

i lost track of time. everything felt too real, like i was getting lost in the game. this is normal, but i knew there was something wrong when it took my sister kicking me in the head snap me out of it.

“oh my god i’m so sorry! i meant to nudge you!” she declared and it was fine, really, but when i glanced back at the screen Harvey was talking to me. i don’t even remember interacting with him- must have clicked him when i get hit in the head. it seemed normal enough; he was mentioning he was having trouble making ends meet so he’ll have to get patients from somewhere else. 

i went back to playing as we chatted about nothing when something struck me.

“hey...” i asked my sister as i paused the game. “Doesn’t harvey normally say he’ll find patients from the nearby towns?” she blinked a few times at me then silently checked the wiki.

there wasn’t an answer there, so we shrugged it off. wouldn’t be the first time NPCs change their dialog. Sebastian mentions that me and sam are his only friends after so many hearts.

speaking of which, i wanted to give him a present today. i had forgotten the quarts at the farm so i rounded back, heading past Sam’s house. i got lost in the game again- it was like the only thing i could hear was the game, the only thing i could feel was the cobble stone under my feet but that wasn’t right- i was in bed.

when i walked by Sam’s house Kent walked out. i smiled and talked to him only... His sprite wasn’t there in the dialog box. his text was also jumbled and didn’t make sense. the prompt to continue the conversation came up and when i clicked it the text was less garbled but Kent’s image was just his eyes. he said “I’ll watch out for you”. 

i snapped out of it at that. i looked over at my sister to ask her if that was normal (it wasn’t) but she seemed so transfixed on the screen it was my turn to snap her out of it. i smacked her on the head and she flinched but seemed alright.

“sorry, i meant to nudge you.” i joked, but she didn’t seem to hear me. “I thought Kent came back from war?” she questioned and i tilted my head. “Umm. yeah he does, in year two...” i turned back to the screen and Kent was gone.

“You were just talking to Sam- he said his dad died?” 

we both stared at each other before taking out our phones to chick the wiki. sure enough it says Kent returns in year two- alive.

we decide my games glitched and i keep playing while my sister makes a bug report. it took me far too long to realize dialog nor included in the game showing up out of no where- and for only ONE person for that matter- was anything BUT a bug. by the time i got to the farm and had gotten the quarts for Sebastian the report had been sent and my thoughts died in my throat. 

a few in game days later i realize Harvey has been acting weird; hes been following Haley around. i don’t pay much attention to the doctor (Sam, Sebastian, and Shane being my favorites i tended to look out for them, not so much HAley or Harvey) but i didn’t think they shared a pattern at all.

i brushed it off and decided to head down to the beach. Alex’s cut scene triggered so i say back and watched. it seemed normal until his sprite changed to the surprised looking one.

“Did you hear a scream just now?”

>no? what scream? >.... >yeah! it sounded like Haley!

my sister swore and looked up the wiki again. con confirm: not part of the cut scene. i thought for a moment and decided that no, i didn’t hear anything (but i really hadn’t). Alex seemed worried and went to investigate. the scene ended but Ale wasn’t on the beach anymore. i was really starting to freak out and debated turning off the game. before i could exit to the desktop i got lost in the game again- the fishing mini game is the devil but i mastered it none the less. i didn’t even remember casting my rod. 

it was getting late so i headed home. Harvey was standing on the bridge to the beach. i didn’t talk to him since it was mid night. i needed to get home.

when i woke up it all seemed normal. i decided to take the fish i got last night and sell them to willy. i wasnt sure how to get the fishing scene in the valley more lively like he’ll some times says so i figured if i sold the fish directly to him it would help. when i went down to the beach i saw haley but she wouldn’t talk to me. she stared out at the ocean, her dialog box just dots. her expression sad.

when i went to see willy he wasn’t there. at first i thought i was at the dock at the wrong time, but something cold pressed against my arm and i snapped up out of the game and looked at my sister- she was holding the Gatorade she had gotten earlier to my arm.

“you were ignoring me again. Sib i think somethings seriously wrong with your game”.

i agreed but i couldn’t stop playing. i explained this and she got worried, fiddling with her phone again.

i can’t stop playing. i have to keep playing. 

“hey” she got my attention. “theres this stardew turmblr account -joja apologist. they have a farmer whos a demon.”

“cool.” i kept playing. i should give Sam a present. “No listen they’re making posts about their stardew game acting weird.”

i tried to turn to face her but thats all i did- face her. my eyes were locked on the screen as Kent walked by. i went to talk to him again and the same thing happened- jumbled words and no sprite and then just his eyes and the declaration that he’ll watch out for me.

“They did Harvey started attacking people so they would HAVE to go to him for meds and stuff.” she sounded worried so i hummed in reply. 

then i remembered Alex’s broken cut scene.

“Haley!” i scrambled over to her house and found a cut scene waiting for me. in it Harvey was telling Emily something. my farmer walks up to them and Harvey greets me, but his portrait is distorted some- he has wide eyes and a grin that seems to reach his ears. he asks me to try and comfort Emily- she just lost her sister.

I felt sick at the thought; this was wrong. very very wrong.

<But i saw her the other day. <no... no not Haley.... <*give Emily a hug*

My sister stared dumbfounded at the screen. i asked her if that tumblr blog saw anything like this and she begins scrolling. as im watching her i’m faintly aware of a sound... like dripping or maybe clicking? i glance at the screen and scream, shooting up and off my bed as Harvey’s portrait changed to have hyper realistic eyes and teeth. the eyes were blood shot and seemed to follow me and my sister as we shifted on the bed to get away from the laptop.

“w-what the FUCK” she yelled. i clung to her protectively, thoroughly convinced his digital doctor was off his possibly very real rocker and could possibly do something to us.

the mouse moved on its own now. it selected to give Emily a hug and the farmer did just that. the cut scene went on, Harvey’s portrait no longer the disturbing version (well it was still disturbing with the wide eyes and chestier grin but at least now it was pixels again). he said he did all he could for Haley and that he was sorry. he then left my farmer and Emily alone.

“Turn it off.” my sister stated as we continued to stare at the screen. “Turn it off.” I nodded numbly and didn’t even both with the proper exit and just held the power button down. 

only it didn’t work.

i held it down for what felt like forever but the laptop was still alive- and it was midnight again.

“Oh fuck no...” She whispered and i scrambled to get my farmer home. when the day ended and the game saved and felt a lump form in my throat. what if Haley is forever dead in my save now? and what about willy? and...

“Wait wheres Alex?” i muttered as i went to town. i bumped into pam and in my frantic scrambling clicked her. to my horror she looked scared. “Did you hear? Alex nearly drowned at the beach! to think, wouldn’t a guy as athletic as him know how to swim?” she then went on her way. i paused for a moment directed my farmer to town again. Alex walked out of the clinic and when i talked to him he seemed fine. gave the normal dialog too.

“Why the hell are you still playing?” My sister shouted from behind me- i didn’t even notice I've scooted directly in front of the laptop, blocking her view. “I thought you were going to exit the game.”

thats right. yeah. turn it off. right.

then Harvey walked out. his sprite was normal but it felt like it was watching me. curious, i moved my farmer down towards Sam’s house. to my horror Harvey was following me.

“Holy shit. HOLY SHIT!” my sister grabbed me and shook me hard. “Holy Shit turn it off! turn it off!”

i stopped my farmer and opened the menu and screamed when i saw Harvy moving towards him even when the game was paused. i unpaused it in time for him to be stopped right next to my innocent little farmer. i kept moving towards Sam’s house.

“Holy shit...” my sister whispered. i told her to check the blog and she did.  “What are you going to do?” she asked, her eyes transfixed on her phone.

“Kent is watching out for me.” i reminded her as i entered Sam’s house.

as i expected, there was a cut scene. in it Sam was playing his guitar and Vincent was in the kitchen. Kent walked out and when he saw my farmer he ran over.

“Hes after you now, isn’t he?” he two eyes of the veteran with PTSD looked though the screen at us. i nodded. “Talk to Sam. you have enough hearts with him.” and he was gone, cut scene over.

i looked over and my sister and she nodded, confirming that the blog said something simular- they were instructed to talk to Gus though. i ran strait to Sam’s room and the door opened then closed behind it. Sam stopped playing his guitar and walked over to my farmer.

“Don’t worry, you’ll be safe.” he said. Sebastian stopped playing the key boards and walked over to my farmer as well. i didn’t even notice Sebastian in the cut scene.

“Thats because i wasn’t there.” his dialog box popped up. “Harvey thinks i’m at home.”

both me and my sister just stared at the screen. Sebastian... heard me? we didn’t have much time to think about it as the sound of a crash and something hitting something very hard was heard. My farmer moved on his own with Sam and Seb following him.

outside of Sam’s house was Harvey- the creepy hyper real version- and Kent. Harvey was crawling away and Kent looked like he had just been to war again. when Harvey's sprite was off screen Seb and Sam gave my farmer a hug before they turned to face the screen. Kent joined them, his portrait going back to normal.

“You can close the game now.” he said. “S-Save it first!” Sam interrupted. “If you don’t he’ll chase you again!”

my sister had taken the mouse from me and was directing the farmer back to the farm. we saved and closed the game.

Miscellaneous rambling Game Thoughts that I am Thinking about Game Today’s Think: Spice up the calendar stat raising gameplay a bit with ~festivals!~

LONG RAMBLE INCOMING

* Festivals that aren’t just markings on the calendar like in persona, but minigames like animal crossing and harvest moon! Also Oreshika but I only know one other person who plays that, lol. I really grew to like their tournements tho, even if its just a boring samey rpg battle repeated every damn year for centuries. It became oddly more useful in the postgame because everyone’s levels are so high and the amount of Devotion (job class selection points, basically) doesn’t increase as the enemies get buffed. So the twice yearly contests are the only reliable way to get a huge amount of devotion all at once, which is great if you’re grinding out new characters en masse and trying to get a rare inheritance trait! (srsly tho i have got TOTALLY sick of the ‘everyone lives and dies and then you play as their descendants’ thing by now, it just makes me feel extra guilty for grinding. I had to kill like 300 dads!) ...MAN I’M GOING OFFTOPIC LOL Anyway what I mean is that there’s a way bigger incentive to look forward to festivals/contests if the reward from them is something super useful that you can’t get anywhere else! Princess Maker 2 had a similar sort of thing, because money was really hard to make and the prize from a single tournement could fund like four months of combat classes! So whatever these rewards are gonna be, they should be like that and be a big boost that can help power-level your charries. Maybe even a x2 multiplier on experience for a particular stat, until january next year? or maybe this is how training gyms level up, instead of having exp? your fame rises in the tourney and you’re able to buy better equipment! Oh, and maybe the non-combat festivals could give a reward of a big relationship boost with certain characters? Gotta impress all the potential dates with your pie-baking skills! (pie may also contain dates)

* Also there totally needs to be a beauty pageant or fashion show or something. I know in real life there’s barely any of those for men, but this is a fantasy world so we can just say this town’s mayor is Damn Cool! And also it goes without saying that we’re gonna indulge the fantasy of having an unbiased set of judges that aren’t racist or homophobic or pedophiliac or anorexia obsessed or.. well, real life has a LOT of problems that games don’t have to emulate, lol. So yeah! This lil town in jrpgland has a big ol fancy fashion contest and it’s a fun event for everyone! Enjoy making mr grizzled warrior protagonist look cute as hell! * Basically this but What If It Wasn’t A Joke Seriously I hate seeing stuff like that on memes about being progressive, when it was clear within the context of the show that kids were meant to laugh at that male character wearing dresses. Man I was SO damn happy when Steven Universe subverted that trope and had an end of episode twist be Steven crossdressing and loving it and everyone is like ‘wow classic steven’ and cheering for him. Also they didn’t force the socially anxious girl to sing on stage! Generally a great episode for breaking tropes! So yeah more like Basically This But Basically This Man I forgot how much that ending makes me grin, holy shit! It probably doesn’t have the same factor out of context, but just it makes me so happy to have a flash forward and we see Sadie still singing the song, just offstage. So we get to know that even if this whole experience was ruined for her, she hasn’t given up on her dreams, and she’s way more confident with singing in front of other people even if she isn’t ready for singing with strangers. I love her and Steven’s friendship so much, seriously! its such a good big sister sort of thing, and this episode was great for showing steven stepping up to protect her but like.. not in any sort of cliche macho way. By winning back the crowd with a fab dress! * So yeah anyway Where Was I Before I Got Offtopic Lol It won’t be a crossdressing-only pageant or anything, but it’ll be a unisex fashion show and I’m not gonna include any form of homophobic nonsense from real world fashion industry. And I wanna give loads of options so the player can pick whatever they prefer, and I’m writing this character as the sort of dude who would love all of them! Dark antihero trenchcoats are cool but what about also PASTEL LOLITA TOP HATS * Maybe could have gameplay similar to the gen 4 version of Pokemon Contests? With the multiple judges! In those games the judges were all identical and it was just ‘don’t pick the same judge twice’, here it could be more like the three judges have different tastes and you have to coordinate your style and performance to get as many points as you can. Do you gamble it all on super-impressing one judge, or make an unconventional combo outfit that can bank medium level points with everyone? And like maybe the cooking contest could have the same sort of gameplay, cos that’s another festival where you could say the judges could have different tastes. Also maybe friend characters have a random chance of appearing as a judge! You wouldn’t get any bonus points tho, cos they’d get kicked off if they cheated on your behalf. But maybe you can get a relationship points boost if you appeal to them? So it could be like a temptation to risk losing the contest but unlock a new romance scene with your sweetheart. THE POWER OF PIE!

* Other various festivals I have really liked in various cute town time games: * Stardew Valley’s easter egg hunt! * Rune Factory’s weird snowball fight but with turnips instead! * Parents giving you money on new years was also a thing in rune factory, and I’m pretty sure that’s based on a real thing in some country? Was it china? Your culture rules, dudes! * Also its in a lot of games cos its celebrated in japan, but I wish we celebrated it here too! The two day valentines! Seriously I way prefer the idea of having one day where one half of the couple gives a gift and then a later day where the other person gives one back in return. And its less commercialized, they even still make homemade chocolates in that country! Damn i’d love to try doing that someday! (not necessarily for a valentines thing, just in general it seems fun) Maybe could have a fun fantasy variant where people give something different instead of chocolates? or if the conditions for the two different days were different? like instead of the girl valentine and the boy valentine its.. I dunno... a day celebrating some famous social class busting couple so its meant to be for rich people hitting on commoners and vice versa? A bit of a halloween aspect where you’re allowed to do stuff that’s normally frowned upon, free of judgment. (It was like that in puritan times when people were all ‘burn the witch!’ and all) Also I like that japanese valentines has ‘honmei and giri’- chocolates for actual crushes, but you can also give them to friends and family! More holidays need to be an excuse for friend gifts! (also those are really catchy names for such a thing)

* Speaking of which, maybe I could throw in some festivals from my home country? Mostly britain has similar holidays to america with a few missing, but there’s a few ones unique to the different regions which are pretty fun. I don’t know a lot about all of them but here’s some of the ones we have in my are, Wales! * Guy Fawkes’s Day. Official day for hella fireworks! Tho people also do them at christmas and halloween, and this holiday is right in the middle so DEAR GOD I’ve been dealing with my noisy neighbours constantly exploding stuff for three months. Give it a break, guys! The story behind this holiday is actually kinda interesting though, we set off fireworks to celebrate some villainous guy who tried to bomb a castle once and everyone tied him to a tree and set him on fire. There’s even a kids’s song about this weird morbid old thing! “remember remember the fifth of november, the gunpowder treason and plot, i see no reason the gunpowder treason should ever be forgot” Also its my american friend’s birthday, which is funny cos apparantly my birthday is an american holiday too! O+O * Eisteddfod, which is like.. literally a stat testing festival in real life?? Like yknow how you have sports festivals in school, well this is that but for like.. brain. Brain sprints. In mythology the Welsh were basically the Bard class of britain, we have loads of folk heros who are like.. literally able to poetry and then your brain explodes. So poems, songs, and novels are valued a lot here, and this is the biggest day of the school schedule because of it! Everyone gets to dress in ye olden style fancy dress costumes and enter best poem/short story/painting/whatever contests, and it is SURPRISINGLY AWESOME!!! like.. everything is done with MAXIMUM HAM. M A X I M U MMMM There is no amount of hyperbole when I say that the school carves their own wooden throne and there’s a public crowning ceremony for the kids who win. This is a literal actual thing that happens once annually in every school forever. Its called the Chairing Of The Bard! And I won it once when I was 11 or so and it was both the best and worst thing ever, like holy shit i was SO terrified having to stand up in front of 300 people and put on an even more silly costume on silly costumes day... Oh and another strange thing that is actually real! School houses! like in harry potter! Its generally for younger kids tho, its like 100% of all primary schools (grade schools) and then like 1/3rd of high schools? Also the names of the houses are up to the school to decide, but for some reason they almost always seem to be red, yellow, blue and green. In my primary school they were just named for cities in wales, and I always found it really annoying that I didn’t get in Caerdydd house when the school was literally IN Caerdydd! * Also unrelated but I looked up my old high school on google and I’m surprised that so many of the same teachers are still working there seven years later! I’m so happy that some of them got promoted!

* And other miscellaneous festival ideas!!!

* You know what i fuckin love? That nonsense fantasy trope of having to fight thru a giant dungeon and get like the rare crystal feather of the fuckface bird or else you can’t marry the king’s daughter. Its even more weird and weirdly endearing when its just like.. AN EVERYONE. Eveyr marriage. Everywhere. How the fuck do these people actually survive if they have to do this five times a year?? So yeah, I think that’d be a really cool wedding festival to have as like.. a sign of this town being badass, lol But also make it less of a law, cos its not as fun if people are being forced to die on mount terror, yknow? its just a tradition that developed cos of some great adventurer in ye olden times, and goofy bastards dare each other to attempt it as the equivelant of a batchelor’s party. You don’t have to, plenty of people just make faux feather ornaments to propose to their loved one. But it’s considered a powerful good luck blessing to pull off the legendary adventure! Like only one couple every decade manages to do it, and you get a big town festival to make your special day even better! And people won’t be mad if you fail, it’s still a fun bit of entertainment for the townsfolk and a good excuse for Secondary Tradition: We All Get Drunk Instead So yeah, gameplay wise this would mean you have an option to do this festival or not. But it’s gonna be the hardest minigame of all, so don’t come unprepared! Alternatively you can either buy or make your own proposal ornament, and do things the less adventurey way. * Probably different batchelor/ettes would like different things? like Blair is an adventurer herself so of course she’ll go nuts for the traditional feather hunt. And she’d really hate the expensive ornament, cos she’s a down to earth gal who works hard to scrape together enough income in the inn to look after her lil sister. She’d get pissed off at you wasting so much on her, like wtf if you’d bought me a nice sturdy set of furniture that’d be way more useful! (Tho she’s a bit of an outlier and generally most people will at least be flattered by the fancy stuff, even if its not their favourite.) * Oh, and maybe you could actually do the feather festival together?? I actually didn’t think of that, I was just going 100% with the cliche of dude having to do some crazy quest to marry a girl. But it would be a way better test of your luck as a couple if you did it as a couple! That could be SO cool, just the two of you climbing a badass mountain and beating up monsters all lovey dovey~! And it could make the minigame entirely unique on each route, cos each character would have different roles in battle. Most of them aren’t adventurers by trade like Blair, so you could be fighting alongside a mage or a support character. Maybe one of them is actually a weakass that you need to protect? Tho I mean it would be bad to categorize one character as the least enjoyable version of the minigame. So maybe its like one character becomes that in one particular situation, and that’s the sign that you’re getting their Normal Ending instead of the Golden Ending? Someone who has some sort of doubts or a secret they’re keeping, which limits their ability here. Possibly Mortimer? Cos in his case it would be exceptionally hard not to reveal his secret in battle! And I dunno, maybe he tells the protagonist the secret before they get married, and the writing is just framed so that the player never knows but the protagonist does. Now go do his golden ending if you wanna learn more! * I like morty a lot. He’s ended up the most developed even though he’s the most recent character I added, lol!

Aight, I did really good and only looked at the news a couple times (mainly bc my mom texted me like "they're closing all the schools are you SURE you're going in??") and the day was wonderfully panic free and anyway here's an update bc I can resist social media no longer:

relaxed all day and my anxiety levels are pretty near normal again, but still got a lot done so I'm happy. Finally finished The Bone Witch, did some editing, started a new game in Stardew Valley, and got a bunch of cleaning done that I'd been putting off! Also my grandma called so that was great, even if all we did was talk about the toilet paper war.

could actually go on the treadmill today which is great (my ankle's been hurting off and on since I fucked it up while running for the bus last week, and my other leg just hurts because it's an attention whore, I guess. fuck legs.)

have decided that I'm going to go into work tomorrow bc I said I would, but since the city is now in a State of Emergency and they're recommending that everyone who can work from home does, I'm gonna try and stay home for the rest of the week. also I want to take one of my monitors home so I have 2 screens so fingers crossed I can do that. Also they've been shutting down city services (currently less essential stuff like the library (RIP) and pools) but if they decide to nerf transit, I wanna be set up at home and not have to deal with that.

My boss and another coworker are stuck at home too cause the schools have closed. They're both stuck at home with three rambunctious young kids each and I wish them the best of luck with that, holy shit.

the heating in my apartment is making weird noises and I'm really concerned that the pipes burst during that hideous cold snap this past weekend 😬 my windows are not well sealed so even with the heat set on like 25C, it gets real cold...anyway I never thought I'd say this but I hope I have to stay home bc of the plague and not a plumbing emergency

And finally, I started parting my hair on the side and I think it actually looks all right if I hairspray it into submission!!! I am slowly achieving the gay hairstyle of my dreams

Day 1: Introducing the Farmer of your choice! (I am very late)

@stardewvalleysebastian

I am very late but I just saw these so i'm gonna do them! Every week is Stardew appreciation week) [Warning - Cussing happens]

1. First things first! What’s their name and age, is there a special significance to their name? Gush about who they are!

Brady O'Sheine, she's something like 26-28 (hello indecision!). Her full name is Bralynn, but she really kind of hates that name, so Brady is it! Her style is pretty laidback, but she knows how to dress up. She in the second eldest of 4 kids (and also the only girl), raised basically by a single mother and her eldest brother. She is a sassy little shit that will smack you down so hard if you try to talk shit about her or anyone she cares about, Joja like destroyed her patience and restraint so prepare to be emotionally crippled~! :D

Also, be warned, you really piss her off/do something she will start tossing around legal stuff like no tomorrow and you will leave unsettled, and unsure whether you're gonna get sued or something. (Morris should watch out)

2. What was your farmer’s life like in the city? Were they a part-timer at jojacorp, were they just fired from their dream job?

City-life was basically a lot of scrambling for money to pay bills and rent.

Her father was never really around when she was a kid, but a few months before her youngest brother was born he just completely disappeared. Of course that was also when they found how much debt he was in, so her family grew up pretty on the poor side, with her mother working three jobs and her eldest brother putting off college to take on a couple jobs of his own. This left her, as the second eldest, to take care of her little brothers (not that she really minded).

She started working in Joja's customer service during her third year of college, in an attempt to get her school loans paid off, a couple years later she got moved to telemarketing and a few more years after that she was placed in the position she had at the start of the game. During this time she graduated law school and passed the bar, but wasn't able to find any work so continued working at Joja.

3. Why did your farmer decide to leave the city? Did your farmer have a loved one in the city? A significant other, a pet, a best friend?

She was well and thoroughly sick of Joja's by the time she finally opened the letter from her grandfather, but she didn't actually quit Joja until a few months after that. She hadn't wanted to just leave her family with one less paycheck, but her mother finally sat her down one night and told her that she didn't want her to put her life on hold, and that if she wanted to move to the Valley they would be okay. Even then, her mother's words didn't really stick until she (and her older brother) promised her that leaving wouldn't mean she was abandoning them.

Moving to Pelican Town left behind her mother (Rena) and three brothers (Emmet/Benson/Jacob), and her best friend, Emelyn. (Funfact! Emelyn is one of my farmers too, just obviously not in Brady's world lol.)

4. How did your farmer adjust to the farming life? Was it hard to get up early in the morning, are they deeply afraid of bugs?

Slowly. And with a lot of aches.

Getting up wasn't that hard, at first. But then she actually started cleaning up the farm and planting more crops, and she'd be exhausted by the end of the day, which lead to a groggy/grumpy morning. She eventually adjusts of course, but still, she figured out pretty quick that just becoming a farmer was a lot easier said than done. It's amazing the woman didn't lose any fucking toes or fingers. Someone save poor Harvey from stupidly stubborn city-girls who think they know what the fuck they're doing (Spoiler: they don't).

She's not technically afraid of bugs, but she makes an exception for those big ass fly things in the mines, the second she hears fluttering noises she nopes the absolute fuck outta there (cue frantic pickaxe-ing in search of a ladder). She's a real big fan of figuring out how to get a blowtorch and hauling it down, just for the, and I quote- "big swarming fluttery bitches." First time she saw one she marched right over to the Adventurer's Guild and banged on the door until Marlon answered so that she could yell "What the actual fuck Marlon?!"

5. Who was the first townsperson to make your farmer feel at home?

Shane actually. She was coming out of Pierre's with a bag of soil while he was on his way to work, they ran into each other and the corner of his nametag ripped a hole in the bag as they backed up, spilling soil all over the two.

Cue a "holy fuck" from Brady and her trying to apologize, he tells her to fuck off and walks away. She kinda just stands there for a second, half annoyed half surprised. Up until than she'd kind of started feeling a little disenchanted with the town as everything seemed so perfect and idyllic, but for some reason the encounter finally cemented that this place wasn't just a cozy little dreamtown with no problems.

Call it a rude awakening if you want, but Brady was more than thankful for it. That night she stopped by the tavern, bought a beer and dropped it in front of Shane. Then she left without a word, smiling the whole way back to the farm and finally feeling content with her latest life-choices.

(Shane is confused lol)

6. What season is your farmer’s favorite season, and why?

Winter. Let her live for five minutes without sweating to death over a patch of fucking parsnips or pumpkins and she'll be the happiest person you've ever fucking seen.

7. What is your farmer’s most favorite thing in the whole wide world?

Family meals. The only rule in her house after her father left was that the dinner table was a safe space; no arguing, no drama, leave your stress at the door. Since her mother/brother were always working Brady decided she would be responsible for feeding everyone. She spent most of her pre-highschool years learning how to cook, so that it would be one less thing her mother/brother had to worry about, by highschool she made every meal for the family.

Her other favorite-ist things are her Grandfather's antique cutlass and spicy foods (especially wasabi).

8. Is there a favorite place your farmer likes to hang out at? If so, why?

 Depends on her mood I suppose.

If she's in a good mood she'll go sit at the tavern and people watch.

If she's in a lonely/self-doubting "why did I come here what am I doing I don't know how to fucking run a farm I should have just stayed at Joja" mood at night she'll go sit(hide) in the little cave on the farm and watch the bats do their thing.

If she's in a... Hm, idek how to describe this mood exactly, a "I've done so much more than I ever expected and that's great but what's next? I feel like my whole life has just been waiting for something and I'm so tired why am I waiting? What am I waiting for? How do I get it to happen so I can stop feeling like this" mood, she'll either sit by her Grandpa's memorial (day) or go sit on the cliff with her legs swinging and just look down at the waves/water (night).

9. What song perfectly matches your farmer?

(I'm awful at these oh god) Um.. I'm gonna go with Swan by Willa.

Bonus: draw your farmer in their most iconic outfit! Or, write about their first few days on the farm!

Sim!Brady (1st outfit) - Drabble (+ Her tag)