#and then I’ll be nothing forever - mitski: me and my husband
Text
RABU.
yandere!jade leech x (female) reader
cw: yandere, brief nsfw, unhealthy behaviors/relationship, implied murder/death, implied cannibalism, pregnancy, obsession
note - i chatted with @heyyy11 and we discussed noodle shop owner jade!! :D this fic is the result of our thoughts. additionally, it's inspired by maretu's "binomi" and lyrics featured are from mitski's "me and my husband."
i. i steal a few breaths from the world for a minute. and then i’ll be nothing forever. and all of my memories and all of the things i have seen will be gone. with my eyes, with my body, with me.
There’s a pot of perpetual stew sitting on the stove.
It fills the small shop with savory scents, enthralling all who catch its delicious aroma on the air. Your husband of twenty years tends to it every now and then, lifting the lid to stir through its contents with a large wooden spoon. Regulars stop by for a fix of his food and comment much the same thing each time: “That husband of yours sure loves his stew.”
“Oh, he can’t get enough,” you would always reply, giggling at their observations.
You would then scrawl their usual orders in your notepad and they’d give you a knowing look. Still so infatuated even though two decades have passed—aren’t you the sweetest? But you can’t help it. Your husband is everything: affectionate, attentive, a masterful chef…
His forever single twin brother often groused that Jade got all the good fortune. “Y’know, if you’re ever tired of Jade, I’m here for ya,” he’d say, leaning over the counter with a sleazy smirk. “Shrimpy’s free to visit whenever she wants. My arms are always open.”
And Jade would smile tightly at him, brush him away with his broom, all while saying, “I’m afraid the shop’s closed now. You’ll have to come back tomorrow, Floyd.”
He acts in jest. Mostly.
Shortly after your wedding, on your first night as newlyweds, the two of you made a compromise. Jade wanted a family; you weren’t ready to start one. And so, in order to work through this dispute, you came to an agreement: He would be in charge of the prep work for the noodle shop he intended to open—a metaphorical child more than anything. In return, you would take orders and chat with customers. A fair deal, one you thought was attractive in its own right. Jade, ever so patient and understanding, lounged beside you in bed, gesturing towards the ceiling as if attempting to spell out the vision before your very eyes. He spoke so eagerly of his dreams. It warmed your heart.
Naturally, just as passionately, you would support him in his every endeavor.
“What do you think of this name? Rabu Rabu Ramen.”
You rolled over on your side, snuggling closer. You couldn’t snuff the overwhelming elation and tenderness that wrapped itself around you whenever you looked at him. And he was all yours—your husband to love forever, to grow old with, to experience life’s highs and lows together. Your wedding night was just the beginning of what would surely be a riveting romance.
“It’s silly.”
“It’s lovey-dovey.”
“If you like it, I like it.”
“Truly?”
You pressed a chaste kiss to his cheek. “Absolutely.”
It wasn’t long before fantasy bled into reality. The both of you found a quaint spot in a quiet neighborhood. It was more hole-in-the-wall than you would’ve liked, but Jade didn’t seem to mind. Sometimes tourists stumbled in, commenting that they would’ve missed it had they not ventured down the narrow path. Jade liked that aspect. It was secretive, peaceful, off the beaten track…
By the end of your first year running the shop, plenty of praise had spread throughout the neighborhood. You learned the locals’ names and faces quickly, committing each to your memory as if there might be an exam later on. They thought you were the cutest, the way you’d take charge of the front while your husband worked diligently in the back. Grandmothers adored you, and they made sure to point out the obvious at every opportunity.
“Omago-san, it’s too quiet in here! You’re still so young. Plenty of time for a family. Tell that husband of yours to get busy!”
You could only offer an awkward smile. “Maybe one day.”
When that ‘one day’ would be, you couldn’t say.
It’s become something of a widely-held belief that Jade can’t make a single bad dish. Everything on the menu is scrumptious. From the homemade noodles to the variety of broths to the additional ingredients, each prepared by Jade’s adroit hand, it’s a feast for the ravenous.
Sometimes customers ask for recommendations, and if you aren’t careful you’ll end up fawning over every dish.
“It’s all so amazing, but I like my ramen with bone broth. My husband makes it better than I do.”
It was true. You couldn’t possibly replicate Jade’s skill in the kitchen. At the very least, when it comes to tea, you’re on an even playing field.
“Just what’s his secret anyway?”
To that question, you could only offer a shrug. “Maybe it’s love?”
Jade told you it was a family recipe—a cherished secret passed through the generations. You thought he’d confess at some point now that you’ve been part of the family for so long, but he’s yet to do so. It hurt at first. You’re married! Family! Jade is smooth about the entire thing, promising to tell you one day, easing all of your worries with sugared sentiments. You’re impatient and oh-so-curious, but you force yourself to wait for his sake.
It must be a special secret.
The pot on the stove is an heirloom. It’s old, yet reliable and sturdy. Jade’s mother gifted it to him in the wake of your engagement. Sometimes you think he treasures it more than anything. He’s always hovering near it, having forbidden you from lifting the lid, lest you unintentionally tamper with whatever it is he’s cooking. It smells hearty like meat stew most days, and according to Jade the process is long.
You linger near the stove. A tiny taste wouldn’t hurt, right? After all, Jade cooks things in excess to cure what appears to be an interminable hunger.
But then someone pokes their head inside the shop, calling out a greeting. You move to the front just as Jade returns from the storage room, carrying a crate of vegetables. That taste will have to wait.
Detective Azul Ashengrotto lowers onto a stool at the counter and heaves an exhausted sigh.
“If it isn’t Azul! What brings you here? Tired of the big city?”
Weary hues flick over your face. He manages a smile. “It’s a pleasure to see you again, (Name). You’re still as energetic as ever.”
“You know it. Every day’s sunny over here.” You rest your elbows on the counter and hum. “Although it’s been awfully slow today.”
“I envy you.” He lifts his hat off of his head to card a hand through tousled hair. Now that you’re looking at him, he seems to have lost some weight. His face is thinner. His eye sockets appear hollow, heavy with shadows. “They’re running me ragged over there. Too many cases. Not enough answers.”
“You ought to take better care of your health.”
“I am—will. I plan to as soon as I wrap up this current case.”
“What’s it about? If you can tell me, that is.”
“A young man went missing near the port. They think he might’ve fallen in and drowned. His wallet was brought up from the seabed, but they haven’t recovered his body yet.”
“How unfortunate… I’m sure his family’s distraught.”
Azul drags a hand down his face and sighs again. “A mess.”
“My, my. It’s been some time since I’ve heard that familiar sigh.”
Lowering his arm, Azul fixes him with a sardonic grin. “How kind of you to join us. I was starting to wonder where you were hiding.”
Jade hums and adjusts his bandana. “Forever confined to the kitchen. My wife is eating for two now.”
A minute ticks by before the realization flashes on Azul’s face. He looks between the both of you, stunned.
“Oh, you’ve—wow. I wasn’t expecting… Ahem. Congratulations.”
“Don’t listen to him. He’s talking about his stomach. I’m not pregnant.”
Azul’s countenance shifts through a catalogue of emotions before landing on a scowl. “To think I actually believed you for a moment. I rescind my congratulations.”
“My poor hara, endlessly empty without your sweet sentiments to fill it.”
“And my hara is telling me that you’re going to starve our guest if you keep being silly.” Clicking your tongue at him, you turn your much softer stare on Azul. “The usual, right?”
“Oh, thank you, but I ate before I came. I only intended to stop in and say hello since I was in the area. I really should be leaving now that—”
“Nonsense! You’re already here and Jade has nothing better to do. You should go back on a full stomach.”
“Indeed. A delicious bowl of tonkotsu ramen has your name on it,” Jade adds from his place in the kitchen. “And I do so love busying these idle hands of mine. Should they remain idle, I fear the devil may just find work for them…”
“I really shouldn’t…”
“You look so withered, Zuzu. You’ll feel better after a hot meal. I promise!”
The platonic affection twined through the nickname catches him by surprise. Huffing, his cheeks colored pink, he stuffs his hat on his head to veil the darkening blush. “I suppose it wouldn’t hurt…”
“Yay!” You clap your hands together. “I’ll get started on tea.”
You weren’t going to give him much of a choice. Azul probably knows this by now, well-acquainted with your proclivity to play caretaker.
“This winter is particularly brutal,” he comments after you’ve fetched him a cup. It’s more of a change in subject than an observation. He shudders and burrows further into the warmth provided by his coat. “The worst time to die.”
“You think so?”
“I know so. Winter is full of mistakes. Drunken mishaps at night, in which the victim slips on ice and falls into the sea… Sometimes we miss them, and so they aren’t found or retrieved until they start to float to the surface after everything thaws. I can’t begin to imagine how painful that must be—to not know where your loved one has disappeared to, only to find them just as the winter frost melts away to usher in spring.”
“Oh, that’s horrible!” You set the kettle down, and Azul watches steamy tendrils curl up towards the ceiling. “Does it ever scare you—the things you find?”
“I’ve seen so much it’s difficult to know what real fear even is.”
“Ah.” You glance over your shoulder at Jade as he opens the lid on the pot of stew. Your eyes drift over towards Azul once more. “You work hard. You deserve a break after your next case.”
“I could sleep forever when that day comes.”
“Retirement isn’t too far, is it, Ojiisan?”
Azul chokes around his breath. “Do I really look so old? Oh, my heart… If these sleepless nights don’t kill me, that assumption certainly will.”
You giggle. “Sorry, sorry. I meant to say you look as spry as ever.”
“You’re too happy to hammer nails into my coffin.”
“I do it with love. It’s our secret ingredient, you know!”
“So I’ve heard.”
The rest of your conversation stalls out. You wipe the counter with a fresh rag in hopes of giving yourself something to do while Azul reads through the newspaper and sips at his tea. You watch him in your peripheral vision. Is he taking care of himself? It doesn’t look like it, but you’ve known Azul long enough to be familiar with his level of responsible efficiency. Maybe this particular case has him in the trenches.
Just how hard are they working him over there?
As his friend you worry. In fact, you worry yourself sick. Every time he visits he’s in poor shape. Though he masks it with confidence, you can see the toll life is taking on him.
“Have you ever wanted to get married, Azul?”
“If I find the right person, sure.”
“But?”
“But, seeing as that has yet to happen, I have no interest in pursuing something that might waste my time and money. Emotions are exhausting, even more so when invested in something like romance. It’s better to put them towards something that will yield solid results. Like work, for example.”
“That outlook is so frigid! Don’t you wanna fall in love?”
“Love isn’t going to crack these cases,” he grumbles at the paper.
Jade appears at the little window cut into the wall. “Someone sounds like a love killer.”
“I’m only being realistic.” Azul scoffs. “Besides, you have no right to speak as a married man.”
“Envy is a wicked vice. I’ll gladly help you overcome it.”
You take the bowl of tonkotsu ramen from Jade and set it in front of Azul. “Okay, enough of that. Let him enjoy his meal in peace.”
“But I haven’t yet had my fill of fun.”
You reach through the horizontal window to gently tug on Jade’s ear. He rumbles with laughter. “Don’t bully the guests.”
“Why, I would never, my dearest.”
Azul watches this back-and-forth with a forlorn longing in his pale blues. Wordlessly, he sinks his soup spoon into the broth and lifts the noodles between his chopsticks. He eats with such zest it makes you wonder if this is his first meal of the day. Sensing your stare, he attempts to pace himself.
You smile sadly. He looks like he needs this.
“As always, it’s delicious,” he says once he’s made a sizable dent in the portion.
Jade basks in the praise. “I’m pleased you enjoy it.”
“But… Well.” The ghost of a frown settles on his weathered features. “The broth tastes different. You must’ve used a new seasoning. Or perhaps this is an expensive cut of pork? Whatever it is, it’s different. Not bad, mind you. I’m sure if it were anyone else it would’ve been difficult to catch.”
“Is this the impressive power of Detective Ashengrotto’s taste buds at work?” you joke, to which Azul flashes you a proud grin that’s more teeth than lip.
“Well, I have been using ingredients with better qualities as of late… I’m not very fond of serving cheap products to honored guests.”
“Isn’t my Jade so considerate? He’s too cute.” You stand up on your toes to kiss his cheek. “He even grows some of the vegetables himself. Green onions and mushrooms and the like.”
“Ah, of course. How could I forget that dubious green thumb of yours?” Azul muses, recalling the time in which Jade served him a new dish in exchange for valid critique. He had conveniently neglected to inform Azul that it contained mushrooms, something he has eaten plenty of in the time that he’s known you and Jade. So many that all varieties have been spoiled for him. “In any case, what’s the secret ingredient? Imported pork? Some sort of flavor that’s seeped in when left to simmer? No, not that… It’s on the tip of my tongue, but I can’t place it!”
Jade chuckles. “There is no secret. It’s just love.”
Azul pokes around the bowl with his chopsticks, his eyes narrowed with an intense scrutiny. “I can recognize every other flavor. The meat, the green onions, the egg, the noodles… And I can parse the broth well enough. There’s just something else—a hint of something I’ve never tasted before. This profile is missing from my gastronomic lexicon.”
You tilt your head, puzzled. “Well, it’s the same broth, isn’t it?”
The both of you turn to Jade for his input. He nods. “My recipe and method haven’t changed.”
“So it’s still the same as before?” Azul’s nose wrinkles. “Strange. I was certain there was a taste of something more…”
Before he can dwell on it any longer, the radio at his hip crackles to life: “Sir, you’re needed at the port. We’ve got something you should see. Over.”
Azul detaches it from his belt and lifts it to his mouth. “I’ll be there soon. Don’t touch anything if you can help it. Out.” Releasing the button, he deflates briefly and then addresses you and Jade next. “It was wonderful seeing you again, but I’m afraid I must cut my visit short.”
“Then we won’t keep you.”
He moves to pull money from his wallet, but you stop him.
“On the house. You deserve it.”
Despite your generous offer, he still places the exact amount on the counter. “You won’t make profit if you’re giving food away for free.”
“Wha—but you’re a friend!”
“That makes it even worse. It’s not very fair to favor me to this extent.”
“Azuuul, don’t be so stubborn! You did this last time, too.”
“I surmise it will be much the same next time he graces us with his presence,” Jade says, eyeing you sympathetically.
“Ugh. Really… If you won’t let us treat you, at least promise you’ll take better care of yourself. No more skipping meals. Get a full eight hours. Prioritize yourself, too, okay?”
Azul starts for the door, so you miss the way he flusters up to his ears. They’re all very valid concerns, of course, but then he’s never been able to swallow the embarrassment that accompanies being unduly fussed over.
“I’ll do what I can,” he says instead and steps outside into the snowy afternoon.
You fold your arms over your chest and huff noisily. “What are we going to do with him? He’s in bad health and he still insists on being difficult. Must he faint before he realizes it?”
Jade emerges from the kitchen, sliding easily behind the counter where you stand. An amused glint shimmers in two-toned eyes. “I suppose we can only hope he’ll fix his bad habits sooner rather than later.”
“If only there were two of me… That way one could tend to the shop alongside you and the other could help him with his work.”
Jade embraces you firmly. With a giggle, you crane your neck to look at him.
“Two is much too troublesome.”
“What makes you say that?”
“Because then I wouldn’t have you all to myself.” His lips curve into a practiced pout. “What if (Name) Number Two finds Detective Ashengrotto more desirable than her own husband?”
You reach up to pinch his cheek in light scolding. “You know that would never happen.”
“It’s a possibility.”
“I would never. If I did, that wouldn’t be the real me. I love you too much.” You twirl out of his arms to collect the dirty dishes. “Hey, since he’s no longer here, what was really in Azul’s ramen?”
“I haven’t the faintest inkling, my dear. I used the same ingredients I always do. Perhaps he was tasting something that wasn’t actually there?”
“Maybe… He looked pretty tired, Jade.” You peer at your reflection in the broth. “I wonder if he’ll be okay.”
“I’m sure he will.” Jade follows you into the tiny, compact kitchen. “You do know his penchant for smoking has worsened. I fear his sense of taste may be compromised from so many cigarettes. That, and age. Oh, but these are merely my own theories. He might have caught flavors of a love he’s never known before on those ruined taste buds of his.”
“Ah, right. Because everything you make is filled with love.”
“Not everything. There’s still something I’ve yet to fill with my love.”
He presses himself against you, his hands settling on your waist. You roll your eyes at his very obvious flirting.
“I’m assuming that something is actually a someone?”
“Indeed. And she’s standing right in front of me.”
His arms snake around your front so that you’re effectively trapped between him and the countertop. His hands close around your breasts to grope you through your shirt. You shiver against him when his fingers brush against the precise area of where your nipples are. It’s when he pinches both between his thumb and index that you finally shut the faucet off, surrendering to his touch instead of the dishes piled in the basin.
“At least close the front. What if someone walks in?”
“Unlikely,” he murmurs, his lips hot on your neck. His fingers slip under your shirt to undo the clasp of your bra. “It’s slow today. We can manage.”
You brace yourself at the sink and gasp when he grinds against your ass. “T-Ten minutes.”
“Only ten?”
“Would you prefer five? Your mouth is so smart today.”
“My love, I need only seconds to unravel you. You’re quite easy.”
You bark out a sharp laugh. “I’m not the one with the hard-on, my darling.”
“You’re too alluring, even in uniform. So beautiful, always and forever, my sweet wife.”
“Flattery isn’t going to get you out of dirty dish duty.”
“How cold… You rival the snow outside.”
You shift slightly to face him, offering him an impish grin. “I’d hate for my Jade to freeze. Let’s warm up together, all right?”
You don’t have to tell him twice.
And all the while, your voices filling the kitchen in unison, bodies pressed close, the pot continues to simmer on the stove.
ii. and i am the idiot with the painted face. in the corner, taking up space. but when he walks in, i am loved, i am loved.
“Can I ask you something, Floyd?”
“What’s up?” he answers around a mouthful of udon. A few strands hang out from between his lips, and he slurps them up in a motion so fluid it leaves you impressed. As for the mess he makes… Not so much.
“What’s the secret thing that’s been passed through your family?”
Floyd blinks at you, lost. “The secret thing?”
“It’s some ingredient or flavor or…whatever that Jade says is a family secret. I have no idea what it is. He won’t tell me no matter how many times I ask.”
“Ohhh, you’re talkin’ about Mama’s pot, right? That thing’s been in our family forever. She gave it to Jade cuz I didn’t want it.” Floyd points with his chopsticks, playfully accusatory. “What? You into cookware now? I can getcha somethin’ if ya want.”
“What’s this about cookware?” Jade asks, poking his head inside. He looks warm and comfortable in his nagagi and haori, a pleasant sight for your eyes, but the broom clutched in his hands tells a threatening tale.
Ignoring the fact that he so clearly eavesdropped, you wave him forwards so that you can straighten his scarf. Jade props the broom against the doorway before striding closer. He leans into your touch with a smug smile, which is shamelessly directed at his brother.
“Oh, you’re freezing! Let me fix you a cup of tea. You’ll catch your death if you spend any longer sweeping out there.”
“Thank you, my dear. I fear the chill is rather paralyzing…”
Floyd rolls his eyes. “He’s fine. Nothin’ he can’t handle.”
“I might just die.”
His dramatics don’t faze Floyd, but they do draw a chuckle from you. “We can’t have that.” You duck into the kitchen and return minutes later with a warm cup of chai. “Floyd was just telling me about your mother’s pot.”
“Was he now?”
“Only cuz Shrimpy asked.”
Jade blows at the steamy beverage to cool it before bringing it to his lips for a sampling. He hums his approval. “It’s quite special.”
Floyd slumps against the counter. “Whatever. It’s boring!”
“I suppose there isn’t much to discuss regarding an old pot.”
“Nothing we haven’t already mentioned.”
“Speaking of that… You thinkin’ about closin’ up the shop for the holidays? Pops’s been on my ass. He and Mama want you to visit.”
Jade gazes at you, but you’re already looking at him. “Should we?” you ask. “I’m not opposed. I just know you like running things here.”
“Not like you’re gonna get crazy business on Christmas.”
“No, but there are a fair amount of regulars who might stop by.”
“We should visit your parents, Jade. It’s been a while.”
“Yeah, listen to Shrimpy. Mama’s been missin’ ya.” Floyd shovels more noodles in his mouth. “And afterwards we can all do somethin’ fun on New Year’s Eve.”
“That sounds great! Let’s do it!”
“S’no fun spendin’ the holidays workin’ yourself into the ground.”
“Exactly. Your brother makes a good point. What do you say, Jade? We’ll make the trip to see your parents and then come back in time for New Year’s Eve.”
Jade smiles, approving of the idea. “In that case, I should call Mother so she knows when to expect us.” Taking a final sip from his tea, he rises from his seat and disappears into the kitchen. Seconds later, you hear soft footfalls on the floor above.
“You really don’t know?”
Floyd shrugs. “No idea. The only thing that kinda fits the whole secret ingredient vibe is Mama’s pot. That’s been passed through the family. Other than that? I’ve got nothing.”
“Well… Yeah, that’s true. Maybe it really is nothing.”
Floyd laughs. “This sure means a lot to ya.”
“Of course it does! We’ve been married for two decades and I still don’t know what this ‘family secret’ is. Decades, Floyd! Surely he would’ve told me by now.”
“Is it really that important?”
“It is to me.” You gaze sidelong at the broom and inhale a steadying breath. “It feels like I’m not a part of the family if he won’t tell me something as simple as this. You’d think twenty years qualifies you as—”
“Hey, you’re always gonna be family to me.” Floyd’s hand reaches to cover yours. He hesitates and instead grabs another napkin. “Jade’s just bein’ a hard-ass. Gets it from our old man.”
“Do you think this ‘family secret’ is real?”
“Who knows? I’m sure he’ll fess up once he gets tired of playing this game.”
“Yeah, that sounds like my Jade. He’s really too much sometimes.” You shake your head and sigh. “Thanks for saying that, though. That part about me being family. It… It means a lot.”
“It’s the truth.” Floyd sets his chopsticks and chirirenge down, lifting the bowl to drink what’s left of the broth. He whistles, supremely satisfied, and slouches on the stool. “You ever need anything—doesn’t matter what it is or how much trouble you think it might be—just gimme a call. I’ll be there to help.”
“Thanks. A-Again. Truly.”
Floyd flashes you a toothy smile. “Don’t mention it.”
You collect his bowl, intending to bring it to the sink, but Floyd’s next words stop you in your tracks.
“Hey, Jade’s got that pot on, yeah?”
“The pot? Oh, yes, the pot! What about it?”
“Has it been stirred lately? You gotta do that once in a while, right?”
Your nerves, which had previously been pulled taut, smooth out. He’s referring to cooking. Nothing else. Just cooking.
“I’ll do that. Thanks for the reminder.”
“Mhm! Smells yummy, by the way.”
“Doesn’t it? Jade’s food is amazing.”
“Mine’s pretty killer, too. You gotta come over and try some.”
“If you’re cooking for me, you’ll have to cook for Jade as well.” You giggle to yourself as you cross into the kitchen, only for the laughter to stick in your throat.
Jade stands at the stove. He lowers the lid onto the pot and sets the wooden spoon aside. He was so quiet you hardly noticed him. How long has he been there? When did he return from upstairs?
“Oh, good timing! Floyd and I were just saying the pot needed to be stirred.”
Jade smiles and takes Floyd’s empty bowl from you. “Did we all have a collective thought just now?”
“Ooh, like telepathy?”
“Wouldn’t that be shocking? Three-way telepathy.”
You watch Jade set the bowl beside the others in need of washing. “That would be so noisy! Three times as many thoughts… I wouldn’t be able to hear myself think.”
“It’d be like watchin’ a show about the two of you,” Floyd pipes up from the front.
“Thankfully, that will never happen.” Jade guides you back out. You peer over your shoulder at the pot. “What a relief our minds aren’t connected. I don’t think I’d enjoy a stray listening in on our private affairs.”
You slap his arm gently. “Floyd’s not a stray!”
“Might as well be since it feels like he’s kickin’ me to the curb. So mean.”
“Not at all. I’m just making a distinction clear.” Jade’s smile is razored, his words catty. “You’re always welcome to visit so long as you keep your hands to yourself.”
“Yeah, yeah. Hands off the Shrimpy. I gotcha.” Floyd pops up from his seat and stretches. It seems as if all of Jade’s remarks, each born from petty possessiveness, roll off his shoulders. “I’m not gonna steal her from you if that’s what’s got you so worked up.”
“You couldn’t even if you tried.”
Floyd’s once easygoing expression sours. “You’re beggin’ for cement shoes, ain’tcha?”
Jade feigns offense, placing his hands over your ears even though it’s a pointless gesture. “For my own blood to threaten me in front of my sweet pearl… It brings tears to my eyes.”
“All right, all right! I’m goin.’ Geez.” Floyd struts out the door, not wanting to be manually shooed out by Jade and his beloved broom. “And don’t forget about New Year’s Eve!”
You wave farewell until he’s vanished out of sight. Only then do you turn to address your husband. “You ought to be nicer to him. He’s your brother.”
“I was. Very nice, in fact.”
“Really? How?”
“I didn’t charge him for the meal.”
iii. me and my husband, we’re doing better. it’s always been just him and me together. so i bet all i have on that furrowed brow. and at least in this lifetime we’re sticking together. me and my husband, we’re sticking together.
Everyone thought the odds were significantly slimmer than that of younger women—impossible by your standards—but somehow you’re pregnant at forty-four. You suspected it when you missed your period and then, just days prior, woke up with a terrible bout of morning sickness.
Standing in the bathroom, staring at the positive test like it’s a relic from Atlantis, you pinch yourself. Hard. It stings, and with this your disbelief mellows into something astonished.
Pregnant. You’re pregnant.
And this time you’re ready for a family. You’re ready to raise a child. Somewhat. Amidst every positive emotion there's anxiety and fear, and they reign so tyrannical that you almost forget you’re meant to be excited. Tamping down insecurity, you turn the test over in your hands.
I’ve got to tell Jade.
But before that you think back on the timeline in an effort to pinpoint the fateful day. After mapping it out for a brief while, you arrive at what’s possibly the least romantic way to conceive a child. Going at it raw and reckless in the kitchen, bent over a sink filled with dirty dishes and pressed against the wall… At least it was in a place both of you treasure.
Not the worst place, you think. I guess it doesn’t have to be a typical rose-petals-on-the-floor situation.
You’re practically vibrating out of your skin when you tiptoe out of the bathroom. Jade’s already downstairs. You can hear him humming as he works to open the shop. Hastily, you change into your work clothes and stuff the test in your pocket.
Jade’s notorious for his surprises, but it’s never been easy to return the favor. You mull over this facet of his character as you skip down the stairs. How can you shock him with this good news when he makes it so difficult? It’s as if he’s always two steps ahead, expecting the unexpected before it can even happen.
Jade brightens when you walk into the kitchen. He meets you halfway, lifting your hand to his lips. “Good morning. How did you sleep, my pearl?”
You squeeze his hand. “Like the dead.”
He chuckles. “I’m pleased it was so restful.”
You glance at the pot then and an idea sprouts. “Is there anything else that needs to get done? Is the front opened?”
“Just about. I need to prep a few more things here and then—”
“I can do it! It’s just stocking up on what’s low, right? That’s not very hard.”
“Do you mind?”
“Of course not.” You claim the spot he had once been standing in. He was in the process of filling a container with chopped green onions before you came down. “Go on and open the front. I’ve got things handled here.”
“I do so adore you.”
“I adore you more.”
“I adore you most.” He beams and stalks off through the doorway.
Now left to your own devices, you move to the sink and turn on the water to wash your hands. If all goes according to plan, you’ll open the lid, pretend something’s wrong with its contents, and when Jade comes over to investigate you’ll act as if you’ve pulled the positive test from the pot. It’s a harmless surprise. You’re sure he won’t be expecting it, especially since he’s the one who does all of the cooking.
After confirming Jade’s still busy with the front, you creep over to the stove. That infamous pot awaits. You slide your hand into an oven mitt and grab hold of the lid, lifting it slowly. You’re immediately hit with the delicious scent of bone broth, so fragrant it almost has you salivating.
Focus! I can eat after the big reveal.
You open your mouth to call Jade over and then pause.
Has he stirred it yet? It looks a little… No, it’s definitely murky. Is bone broth supposed to be this dark? Maybe I just need to stir it.
You lower the wooden spoon into the broth and, scraping along the sides and bottom, mix expertly. The bones knock into each other from the disturbance, and you inhale deeply. It reminds you of the tonkotsu ramen Azul fancies so much. You could go for a bowl right now.
You’re about to take the spoon out and cover the pot when something floats to the surface. Without meaning to, you recall Azul’s words from last month: Sometimes we miss them, and so they aren’t found or retrieved until they start to float to the surface after everything thaws. Curiously, you scoop the object up onto the spoon. Broth spills over into the pot and then you see it.
A finger.
A human finger.
What the fuck is a finger doing in Jade’s pot?
The nail has been plucked off and the skin is sagging away, turned to pliable mush from sitting in the pot for so long, but it is undoubtedly a finger.
A very real, very human finger.
Bile slithers up your throat with thick, acidic fingers.
Fingers.
There’s another one and then another. Three fingers. You poke around in the broth, dreading what else you might see. You don’t want to find a full set of ten. Anything but that. You count five and that’s all you can stomach before you’re shakily covering the pot with the lid. You set the spoon and oven mitt down next, your mind reeling.
You want to vomit.
You’re about to vomit.
You’re going to—
“(Name)?”
You whirl to look at him. Your husband. He stands in the doorway, a dark look on his face. You can’t describe the emotion, or lack thereof. It’s more of a shadow. An oppressive shadow. An intimidating shadow. A shadow that seems to say: You’ve seen too much.
“J-Jade!” How long has he been standing there? How much does he know? “Sorry. I… I felt sick just now. I think I should…rest a bit more.”
The gloom fades away into perfect placidity. “My, my. That’s not good.” He takes a step towards you and pauses when you jerk away. “Is everything all right?”
“Y-Yes, of course! I’m just…not feeling it today…or something.”
“I suppose it can’t be helped.” His eyes slide towards the stovetop. “I do so dislike getting into disagreements with you. So to avoid that I’ll ask once and only once. What did you see in the pot?”
Your spine stiffens, straight and still as a board, and you hang your head guiltily. “I… I’m sorry. I saw… W-Well, I don’t want to believe it. I’m sure it’s a misunderstanding or a mistake of some kind. It’s just that—um… I… I saw…”
Fingers. Human fingers!
“I saw what I think is y-your secret ingredient. The thing—” your voice cracks, and you swallow thickly to push rising bile back— “Azul tasted that day…”
“And that secret ingredient is…”
Tears brim and spill over in silent, horror-struck waterfalls. You risk a glance at your husband, and a wobbly smile pulls your lips apart.
“Love.”
#yandere twst#yandere twst x reader#yandere twisted wonderland x reader#yandere twisted wonderland#yandere jade leech#yandere jade leech x reader#yandere jade#yandere jade x reader
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me and my husband - miguel x wife!spider!reader
authors note: this took like two weeks and for what? 😹 anyways, i was sooo proud of myself for thinking of this lmao
summary: miguel x wife!spider!reader based on 'me and my husband' by mitski
contains ⚠️: ANGST, fluff?, comfort, wife!fem!spider!reader, dead daughter (gabriella), flashbacks italicised
please reblog or like my work if you enjoyed it <3
“I steal a few breaths
From the world for a minute
And then I’ll be nothing forever
And all of my memories
And all of the things I have seen
Will be gone
With my eyes with my body with me”
-
“Miguel!” you call out shakily, your daughter, Gabriella, secure on your back. Your husband instinctively sprints toward the two of you, as you desperately try to escape the collapsing of your universe.
“Take Gabi, I-I gotta help Peter B.,” you lift your now sobbing daughter off your back and into Miguels’ arms. Miguel opens his mouth for a split second, before it zips shut again. He gives you a firm nod, his thick brows furrowed, before cradling your daughter to his chest and leaning in to give your temple a kiss. You kiss the top of Gabi’s head swiftly, before using your webs to swing towards Peter B., who is in the middle of moving - no, shoving - civilians toward safety. It breaks your heart when you hear your daughter’s fearful whimpers as Miguel reassures her, telling her everything will be okay.
Not even five minutes later, you spot Miguel running with Gabriella in his arms, people glitching out of existence left and right. You swing towards them, a few metres behind them, before you are stopped by Peter, his hands firm on your shoulders, telling you it’s too dangerous. Peter’s tall figure and Miguel’s even taller and broader figure obscures most of your view, but you choke back a sob as you catch sight of your daughter disintegrating in her fathers arms. Not really her fathers arms, but you didn’t know that yet.
“Dad! Dad, no!” Gabriella cries, before disappearing, leaving Miguel staring where her body was a second ago, breathing heavily. You couldn’t help but rip off your mask and bury your head in your shaking hands, sobbing hysterically.
-
“But me and my husband
We’re doing better
It’s always been just him and me
Together”
-
quick a/n: DONT ASK HOW READER SURVIVED, FEEL FREE TO MAKE UP WHATEVER THEORY YOU SEE FIT :)
“Miguel. We gotta move, you’ll have to bring your er…wife, too.” Peter calls and the world seems to close in. You’re still sobbing into your own hands - mask left forgotten on the ground -, Miguel immobile, still staring blankly into his hands.
“Okay.” Miguel says after a few beats, his voice uneven with grief. Out of the corner of your eye, in front of Miguell, a hexagonal, orange…portal? opens up and he steps signals for Peter to go through. Peter releases your shoulders, though not before giving them a reassuring squeeze, and a nod at Miguel before making his way into the portal. Once it’s just the two of you, Miguel is immediately at your side, drawing you into his chest. He presses a kiss to the top of your head before crouching to wipe your tears away with his thumbs. Your tears have subsided, reduced to sniffles. Miguel smiles sadly at you, murmuring,
“C’mon, cariño. I’m sorry, but we have to go. Now.” you nod at his words, running with him into the portal.
-
“So I bet all I have on that
Furrowed brow
And at least in this lifetime
We’re sticking together
Me and my husband
We’re sticking together”
-
“Mig, what is this? Where are we? What just happened?!” you cry, shaking his wrists. You’re in a dark, strange room filled with all sorts of holographic technology. It looks so futuristic, like it came straight out of one of those robotic or intergalactic movies you would watch with what was your family, until a few minutes ago. Peter B. was in the room as well, staring off into the distance to give you and your husband some privacy. Miguel sighed,
“This is…this is my office?” he frowns, almost…confused?
“My office in the Spider Society Headquarters.” he finishes, leaving you even more confused than you were a few moments ago.
“Miguel. You’re not making any sense. I know you’re Spider-Man, but didn’t-didn’t you work at-?”
“I haven’t been truly honest with you. Let me explain from the beginning.”
—
“You, you replaced my dead husband?! You were the cause of MY daughter’s death?! The cause of my ‘universe’s collapse? I-I…” you broke off, sobbing again. You felt so much betrayal. So much hurt, anger. And now Miguel - the man you thought was your husband - wants you to join his little gang of Spiders? Hell. No.
“Before you say anything, you can’t really go anywhere else without glitching, or causing its universe to collapse - if you stay there long enough.” Miguel says, looking at his feet.
“He’s not wrong, you know. Glitching is painful as well. Take it from me.” Peter B. cuts in, offering you a tight smile. You painfully realise that Miguel is right, you don’t have anywhere to go. And you suppose it would be nice to still see your husband’s face everyday. You still love him, despite the fact he isn’t really the Miguel you thought you knew.
“Fine. But you’re going to have to tell me more about how you came to be here, Miggy.” you tell Miguel, who goes red at the nickname you use for him. Clearly, he was caught off guard, assuming you would be visibly fuming at him. Peter B. chuckles lowly, murmuring, “Miggy,” under his breath before suppressing a snicker.
–
You had trained hard to get to where you are now, mentally and physically. The death of your only daughter took a heavy toll on you, but a few months later, you can confidently say you were okay. It turns out that while Miguel was in your dimension, his AI assistant, Lyla, had been keeping a hand on the wheel, extending invitations to Spider-People that Miguel had deemed qualified enough to the Spider Society. The missions you went on were usually pretty uneventful, due to the fact that the anomalies or whatever you were chasing were almost always outnumbered, and usually outpowered by the legion of Spider-People hunting them down. Though there were always missions where you and/or a few others came back heavily injured. On your most recent mission, you came back with a sprained ankle, and many cuts and bruises on your body. Miguel was not impressed; patching you up while huffing and puffing about you needing to be more careful. It seems that you got special treatment, understandable, right? You are his wife after all…
You take a large bite into a Spider-Man 2099 themed burger with a grin, internally laughing at the fact that Miguel hadn’t noticed them yet. Peter B. sits opposite you, Pavitr to your left, and Hobie sitting across from him.
“I think it’s kinda funny that Miguel hasn’t caught onto these burgers yet,” you say with a small laugh, setting the burger down. Pav is already cackling at the thought, while Hobie sits there with his signature smirk plastered on his face while Peter chuckles slightly.
“Yeah it’s a miracle, he’s usually so observant. Ooor…he does know, and likes them,” he says, a large grin on his face by the end of his sentence. You silently agree with him, as you listen to the animated conversation that Pavitr had started up with Hobie, Peter making a few contributions occasionally.
Lyla simultaneously displays from the gizmos on your wrists, telling you all,
“Miguel wants you all to see him, for a mission.” finishing with a playful wink.
“Okaay! Another mission, let’s go!” Pavitr says, bubbly as always. You couldn’t help but smile as you get up and follow the rest of the group, while Pavi giggles about something along the lines of “being Spider-Man is so easy and soo fun!”.
While walking through the tech-junk filled sort of hallway in Miguel’s office, you spot Hobie shamelessly pocketing a few loose pieces. You playfully punch him on the shoulder, quietly scolding him for his antics. He smirks and remarks,
“The bossman won’t notice, got bigger things to worry ‘bout, yeah?”. You laugh and shake his head at his words, as you approach the high-up platform, waiting for it to painfully descend. After a few moments you’re able to make out Miguel’s form, facing the four of you, his hands on his waist; his signature stance. Peter giggles out of the corner of his mouth, muttering,
“Always so dramatic.”. You silently agree with him, as Miguel walks towards you guys, chin slightly up, eyes peering down at your faces.
“We have another Doc Ock variant, an anomaly from Earth 1829 in Earth 5820. I will be coming with you lot for this mission.” Miguel finishes, glaring slightly at you by the end of it. You will yourself not to roll your eyes, knowing that all he’s coming along to practically babysit you. You settle for a glare back at him, before his eyes flicker to Hobie, pointing at him and telling him not to do anything stupid. Hobie puts his hands up in mock surrender,
“Got it, ‘m not going anywhere.” he says, unable to stop his smirk from turning into a grin.
“Dios mÍo…I don’t know why I still tolerate you.” Miguel huffs out, pinching the bridge of his nose before turning away from him and going back toward his desk. He types something up on his keyboard, and the illuminated monitor displays an image of an octopus? What on Earth is-
“Looks like Doc Oc found away to become one with the octopus,” Peter snickers; Pavitr giggling with him.
“Correct, Peter. That is what we’ll be after. We must hurry before it wreaks havoc in New York.”Miguel states, while opening a portal to New York City, Earth 5820. You walk through in a single file line, coming out on the top of a building. The air smells smoky, smokier than that of your universe of origin. The ground shook, clearly, the Doc Ock variant had caused a substantial amount of damage already.
“It’s coming from Times Square, let’s go!” Miguel bellowed, swinging toward the cause of the earthquake, everyone following suit. As you get closer, you take in the sight of a ginormous blue-green octopus with metallic pincers on the end of them snapping menacingly at the fleeing crowd of people.
“Woah…” you breathe, eyes widening when you realise that it’s more like a half-octopus, the tentacles being the bottom part of a woman.
“She looks like Ursula from The Little Mermaid, don’t you think?” you call out to the group, Peter and Pavitr agreeing with you.
“Enough with the jokes, let’s-” Miguel starts, before the Doc Ock swivels around to face your group, swinging toward her.
“-Okay, new plan. Let’s split up; Peter, Pavitr, Hobie - you three stick together and distract the anomaly!” The men nod and advance forward to do as instructed while you and Miguel swing towards the nearest apartment rooftop to hopefully discuss further gameplan. When Miguel doesn’t say anything, your lenses narrow as you glower at him, not over the fact that you were practically being babysat by your husband; Miguel takes note of this.
“I- okay, before you say anything, I’m mainly here because I don’t trust that punk Hobie.” He assures you, putting emphasis on the last part, “I also want to make sure you-everyone has someone they can fall back on, and protect them if…things get rough.”. Fortunately for Miguel, this was good enough for you, giving him a curt nod.
“Got it. Soo, how are we gonna contain the anomaly?” you question. Miguel was quick to answer,
“While the others distract Doc Ock, we’re going to use my webs to bind it, and entrap it in a Trap Box and get it back to HQ. Got it?”. You nod and use your webs to catapult yourself in Doc Ock’s direction. Miguel’s plan goes smoothly, the anomaly tightly bound by Miguel’s red, digital webs. Peter and Pavitr were aiding civilians trying to get away, trying to bring some order to the chaos. You and Hobie were in the process of disarming Doc Ock of her pincers, using a mixture of webbing, tugging, and other devices - courtesy of Margo.
“Bloody pincers take forever to take off…” Hobie muttered irritably. He called your name saying, “You mind finding somethin' to to 'elp us?”, you nod, jumping off the rubble you were standing on to look for anything big, sharp, or dangerous to aid you. That’s when you spot Miguel, with those talon-like appendages that stick out of the arms of his suit.
“Miguel! We can’t get the damn pincers off quick enough, could ya’ help?!” you call out. Miguel shoots you a look, and you know that through his mask, he’s already annoyed.
“I’m kinda busy, sweetheart! Can’t you shocking see that?!” he shouts at you, before sighing heavily and using one of the hands tugging the glowing web taut to shoot another out toward a stray tentacle, swiftly yanking off the pincer. You aim your web shooters toward another pincer and let them fly, sticking onto the metal.
After a good while of tugging and frustration, you finally get another pincer off, but you and Hobie realise that it’s no use, rushing over to Miguel’s side,
“Wh-What are you guys doing?! Get rid of the pincers!” Miguel yells, agitation coating his words. Hobie explains it’s no use, and that you guys should be helping him contain the anomaly in other ways. Miguel grunts in response, before instructing the two of you to use your webs to bind the anomaly while Miguel sets up a Trap Box. Once you’ve got your webs wound around the entire figure of Doc Ock, Miguel releases his webs and starts setting up the digital containment chamber. Miguel was almost done, but then you heard a scream, the scream of a small child. You whip your head toward the sound and see a small child amongst the few 100 other people who haven’t made their way out yet - stuck under a piece of rubble. Hobie notices and murmurs,
“Nah, don’t, love. Get Pav or Peter to do it. We gotta deal with this…”. You don’t know what happened - one second you were doing what was instructed of you, and the next you had let your webs fall slack as you dash for the crying child. You reach the child and help him get free of the rubble, and scooping him into your arms, as Hobie yells a stream of slurs as the anomaly starts to wriggle free. Hobie calls for you to help him, unable to hold Doc Ock down. You just stand there, cradling the crying child to your chest. Behind you, Miguel stands fuming, even though he and Hobie had managed to contain the anomaly, who is now banging its tentacle at the digital walls.
“Mujer estúpida,” Miguel mumbles, as he calls for everyone to gather round. You reluctantly set the child down, and slowly turn toward Miguel. The realisation of what you had done risked the fate of the multiverse. When you finally turn around, you’re greeted with a seething 6’9 man. You can practically see the steam coming from his ears. (Translation: stupid woman)
Once you’re in his office - your masks off -, Pavitr, Hobie, and Peter dismissed, Miguel is borderline screaming at you for your reckless act to save the child, who,
“-would have been fine even if you didn’t save him!” and that, “no matter how pure your intentions are, your main priority is to SAVE. THE. MULTIVERSE. Regardless of what you have to do.”. After the twenty minutes your boss spent berating you for your actions - and what their consequences may be - you’re left standing meekly in front of him, head hung low, staring at your feet. Miguel exhales a long sigh,
“Look,” he says, his tone much softer than the one he used a few moments earlier, “I think I know why you saved that damn kid. I…I understand that, querida, I do. But that is not always the best thing to do. Not when there is so much more at stake,”. You nod, understanding his words.
“I hate yelling at you, it breaks my heart to see you shatter like this - because of me. I’m sorry,” Miguel tells you, bending down to be closer to eye-level with you. You slowly look up at him, your eyes wide and glassy. Miguel is briefly reminded of a baby deer, with the way your eyes look and the way the start of your eyebrows quirk up in sorrow. He spreads his arm wide enough for you to stumble into them, and when you do, he envelopes you in an embrace, his hand rubbing your back soothingly.
“No, I’m sorry. I should’ve let one of the others take care of that child. I let my emotions get the better of me.” you mumble, returning the hug.
“All in all, we still stopped the anomaly from causing further damage, so don’t worry about it, okay? When we get home, we’ll go out okay? I know a new place that’s gotten a ton of good reviews…” your husband suggests, trying to make you feel even just a little bit better about the situation. You nod into his chest.
-
“And I am the idiot with the painted face
In the corner, taking up space
But when he walks in, I am loved, I am loved”
-
While Miguel had brushed off the fact that you almost risked the fate of the multiverse, a portion of the thousands of other Spiders hadn’t. Initially, when word got around that you slipped up, most people didn’t care, until they learnt what the cause of it was.
“All for a child?” “Seriously?” “How reckless!” were some of the many comments people had to offer. They weren’t horrible, just the occasional stink eyes and scoffs when you were around.
“It’s like no one else has done something wrong! What I did wasn’t even that bad!” you rant to Peter B., exasperated. The man in front of you lets out a series of “uhuh”s, “mhm”s and “exactly!”s whilst preoccupied with the little redheaded toddler trying to climb up a wall. You sigh, before making your exit, heading over to Sector 8.
Once walking through the gates of Sector 8, there’s a wave of silence as the Spider people occupying the area stare intently at you, silently scrutinising you. You timidly walk around groups of congregating Spiders, the hubbub of chatter returning.
“How is she still part of the Society? After what she risked…” you hear from a Peter Parker variant. That comment didn’t phase you but what stung was the response from a gossipy variant of Mary-Jane,
“Perks of being Miguel’s wife, she’s had everything here handed to her on a silver platter. I didn't take Miguel to be one to play favourites.”. Pushing through another group, you struggle to stop the tears from stinging your eyes. You shoot a web to the nearest corner, mounting yourself on the wall, and you tear your mask off. Your hair bounces out and sort of tilts to the side, due to the fact that you’re sitting on the wall. Sinking into a cross-legged position, you bury your head in your hands, eyes closed, not necessarily crying or anything, just taking a break from the multiverse. You focus on your breathing, breathing in and out, in and out as a way to calm yourself, deflecting all the nasty things that the Spiders, who should theoretically be nice beings, had said about the whole ordeal.
You stay like that for a while, happy in your own little world, before a firm tap on your knee gets you to look up - no, sideways from your position. Miguel. Standing on the ground, looking up at you with concern.
“You alright, mi vida?”
You smile in response, nodding your head yes as you leap from your spot on the wall to Miguel’s side. He faces you and puts his hands on your shoulders, his touch surprisingly gentle.
“One of the guys notified me that you were seeming kind of out of it,” he pauses, trying to find the right words to articulate, “I came to check on you.”. Now it’s your turn to look up at him,
“Yeah I’m fine, Miggy.” you assure him, peering at his reddened eyes through your lashes. Miguel tilts his head to the side and frowns slightly, before sighing and guides your head to his chest with a large hand. He dips his head to kiss the top of yours, glowering at any of the other Spiders who’re staring.
“I love you, okay? You are one of, if not the most amazing person I’ve ever known. You work so hard, and always put in 200% and you’re always looking out for everyone, even if it means risking the Arachno-Humanoid-Polymultiverse.” he expressed, grimacing a bit at the ridiculously long name he had coined for the multiverse. You laugh, pressing your nose to Miguel’s chest. No matter what happens, you think, it’ll always be me and my husband.
taglist: no one (dont be shy lol)
add yourself to a taglist/s -> here
#°○☆spectr3inl0ve#°○☆spectr3inl0ve works#°○☆miguel by monty#miguel o'hara#miguel o'hara x reader#miguel angst#miguel o’hara imagine#miguel o’hara x y/n#miguel spiderverse#miguel atsv#miguel x you#hobie#spiderman 2099#miguel o hara#miguel o'hara fluff#miguel o'hara x fem!reader#spiderman 2099 x reader#hobie brown#astv miguel#astv x reader#astv x you#omg#spiderman astv#pavitr prabhakar#gwen stacy#Spotify
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I steal a few breaths
From the world for a minute
And then I'll be nothing forever
And all of my memories
And all of the things I have seen
Will be gone
[Me and My Husband- Mitski]
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Reminder: Vote based on the song, not the artist or specific recording! The tracks referenced are the original artist, aside from a few rare cases where a cover is the most widely known.
Lyrics, videos, info, and notable covers under the cut. (Spotify playlist available in pinned post)
Me and My Husband
Written By: Mitski
Artist: Mitski
Released: 2018
“Me and My Husband” is the seventh track of Mitski’s fifth studio album Be The Cowboy released in August 2018. Like earlier tracks on the album such as ‘Nobody’, ‘Me and My Husband’ explores the loneliness Mitski felt while writing the album, although this time she takes on the persona of a suburban housewife. As she explained to GQ: “If you’re a suburban mom surrounded by family with a nice life you still feel alone. On tour, I’m surrounded by people all the time but it’s lonely.” Despite the song’s upbeat tone the lyrics portray a housewife stubbornly sticking by her husband even though she may not be happy. Mitski claims the song isn’t personal and isn’t meant to be reflection of her views on marriage or settling down as she told The Outline: “I try to keep a sense of humor about all this stuff. I’m not married, I don’t have a husband, but I was just thinking about being a woman with a man in a long term relationship. I used a stereotype of the suburban, old-fashioned housewife to kind of accentuate my point.”
[Verse 1]
I steal a few breaths from the world for a minute
And then I'll be nothing forever
And all of my memories
And all of the things I have seen will be gone
With my eyes, with my body, with me
[Chorus]
But me and my husband
We are doing better
It's always been just him and me
Together
So I bet all I have on that
Furrowed brow
And at least in this lifetime
We're sticking together
Me and my husband
We're sticking together
[Verse 2]
And I'm the idiot with the painted face
In the corner, taking up space
But when he walks in, I am loved, I am loved
[Chorus]
Me and my husband
We are doing better
It's always been just him and me
Together
So I bet all I have on that
Furrowed brow
And at least in this lifetime
We're sticking together
Me and my husband
We're sticking together
Me and my husband
We are doing better
youtube
Our House
Written By: Graham Nash
Artist: Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young
Released: 1970
Cover included: The Head and the Heart, 2021
“Our House” is a song written by British singer-songwriter Graham Nash and recorded by Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young on their album Déjà Vu. At the time Graham Nash & Joni Mitchell were dating and the time the two spent that particular day after purchasing a vase on Ventura Boulevard inspired this song. Nash has stated that he wrote this song in a hour. In October 2013, in an interview with Terry Gross on NPR’s Fresh Air, Nash elaborated: “Well, it’s an ordinary moment. What happened is that Joni [Mitchell] and I – I don’t know whether you know anything about Los Angeles, but on Ventura Boulevard in the Valley, there’s a very famous deli called Art’s Deli. And we’d been to breakfast there. We’re going to get into Joan’s car, and we pass an antique store. And we’re looking in the window, and she saw a very beautiful vase that she wanted to buy … I persuaded her to buy this vase. It wasn’t very expensive, and we took it home. It was a very grey, kind of sleety, drizzly L.A. morning. And we got to the house in Laurel Canyon, and I said – got through the front door and I said, you know what? I’ll light a fire. Why don’t you put some flowers in that vase that you just bought? Well, she was in the garden getting flowers. That meant she was not at her piano, but I was … And an hour later ‘Our House’ was born, out of an incredibly ordinary moment that many, many people have experienced.”
[Verse 1]
I'll light the fire
You place the flowers in the vase
That you bought today
[Verse 2]
Staring at the fire
For hours and hours while I listen to you
Play your love songs all night long
For me, only for me
[Verse 3]
Come to me now
And rest your head for just five minutes
Everything is done
[Verse 4]
Such a cozy room
The windows are illuminated by the evening
Sunshine through them, fiery gems
For you, only for you
[Chorus]
Our house is a very, very, very fine house
With two cats in the yard
Life used to be so hard
Now everything is easy cause of you
And our
[Interlude]
La-la, la-la-la la la…
[Chorus]
Our house is a very, very, very fine house (fine house)
With two cats in the yard
Life used to be so hard
Now everything is easy cause of you
And our
[Verse 1]
I'll light the fire
While you place the flowers in the vase
That you bought today
youtube
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#mitski#me and my husband#crosby stills nash and young#graham nash#our house#the head and the heart#polls#poll tournament#poll bracket#tournament#bracket#lovesongbracket#round1
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SONGS TO WRITE REI !
whether it be melodies that give you inspiration for your muse or songs that get you into the writing mood — pick 10 songs you find that give you the urge, the drive, or the creativity to write your muse !!
▶ TRACK 01. PRIDE - KENDRICK LAMAR
I know the walls, they can listen, I wish they could talk back/ The hurt becomes repetition, the love almost lost that/ Sick venom in men and women overcome with pride/ A perfect world is never perfect, only filled with lies
▶ TRACK 02. VALLEY OF THE DOLLS - MARINA
In the valley of the dolls we sleep, got a hole inside of me/ Living with identities that do not belong to me/ In my life, I got this far, now I'm ready for the last hoorah/ Dying like a shooting star in the valley, in the valley, in the valley
Back to zero, here we go again, again/ Racing down into oblivion/ Back to zero, here we go/ I can feel it coming to the end, the end
▶ TRACK 03. VIVA LA VIDA - COLDPLAY
I used to rule the world/ Seas would rise when I gave the word/ Now in the morning I sleep alone/ Sweep the streets I used to own
▶ TRACK 04. WHY DO I CRY - MARGO GURYAN
Why do I cry?/ On a Sunday morning/ After Saturday night, was such a wonderful night/ I should be glad/ Be glad that I could spend one night a week with you
▶TRACK 05. ELEANOR RIGBY - THE BEATLES
Eleanor Rigby/ Died in the church and was buried along with her name/ Nobody came
Father McKenzie/ Wiping the dirt from his hands as he walks from the grave/ No one was saved
All the lonely people (ah, look at all the lonely people)/ Where do they all come from?/ All the lonely people (ah, look at all the lonely people)/ Where do they all belong?
▶TRACK 06. ME AND MY HUSBAND - MITSKI
I steal a few breaths from the world for a minute/ And then I'll be nothing forever/ And all of my memories/ And all of the things I have seen/ Will be gone/ With my eyes with my body with me
▶TRACK 07. GOODBYE TO LOVE - CARPENTERS
I'll say goodbye to love/ No one ever cared if I should live or die/ Time and time again the chance for love has passed me by/ And all I know of love/ Is how to live without it/ I just can't seem to find it
So I've made my mind up/ I must live my life alone/ And though it's not the easy way/ I guess I've always known/ I'd say goodbye to love
▶TRACK 08. STICK FIGURE - RADWIMPS
しかしまったくもってその甲斐もなく 結局モノマネはモノマネでしかなく
一人、また一人と去ってゆき 人間が剥がれ落ちるのです
(But even with all that, in reality it doesn’t make a difference… in the end, an imitation’s nothing more than just that/ People leave me, one by one… And my humanity starts to slough off)
▶TRACK 09. BLUE MONDAY - NEW ORDER
I see a ship in the harbor/ I can and shall obey/ But if it wasn't for your misfortunes/ I'd be a heavenly person today/ And I thought I was mistaken/ And I thought I heard you speak/ Tell me how do I feel?/ Tell me now, how should I feel?
Now I stand here waiting.
▶TRACK 10. AFTER THE STORM - KALI UCHIS
So if you need a hero (if you need a hero)/ Just look in the mirror (just look in the mirror)/ No one's gonna save you now/ So you better save yourself/ And everybody's hurting/ Everybody's going through it/ But you just can't give up now/ 'Cause you gotta save yourself (Yeah, I gotta hang on)
yoinked from: @slayersaided
tagging: @nuiruk , @madeimpact (muse of your choice!) , @zhonde (muse of your choice!) , @sorrowmarked (muse of your choice!), @sincrcwn (muse of your choice!), @autopsyd , @civara , @decievres , @namidabashibridge and anyone else who wants to, say i tagged you <3
#☾: dash games#((i promise i write here and dont JUST do these games HKFKL))#((but theyre just so funn))#((and i just had to scoop this one up))#((last ones more of a song i associate with eva in general more than rei specifically))#((but i wanted to end it on a positive one bc these songs are depressing as hell HJSFJ))
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My favorite lyrics from every Mitski song:
Laurel Hell (2022)
Valentine, Texas: “Let’s drive out to where dust devils are made/By dancing ghosts as they kick up clouds of sand”
Working for the Knife: “I always knew the world moves on/I just didn’t know it would go without me”
Stay Soft: “Open up your heart/Like the gates of hell”
Everyone: “I didn’t know that I was young/I didn’t know what it would take/Sometimes I think I am free/Until I find I’m back in line again”
Heat Lightning: “And there’s nothing I can do, not much I can change/Can I give it up to you?/Would that be okay?”
The Only Heartbreaker: “I’ll be the water main that’s burst and flooding/You’ll be by the window, only watching”
Love Me More: “How do other people live?/I wonder how they keep it up/When today is finally done/There’s another day to come”
There’s Nothing Left for You: “You had it once before/Not anymore”
Should’ve Been Me: “When I saw the girl looked just like me/I thought, ‘must be lonely loving someone/tryna find their way out of a maze’”
I Guess: “If I could keep anything of you/I would keep just this quiet after you/It’s still as a pond I am staring into”
That’s Our Lamp: “You say you love me/I believe you do… You just don’t like me/Not like you used to”
Be the Cowboy (2018)
Geyser: “And hear the harmony/Only when it’s harming me”
Why Didn’t You Stop Me?: “I look for a picture of you/To keep in my pocket/But I can’t seem to find one/Where you look how I remember”
Old Friend: “Every time I drive through the city where you’re from/I squeeze a little”
A Pearl: “You’re growing tired of me/And all the things I don’t talk about/Sorry I don’t want your touch/It’s not that I don’t want you”
Lonesome Love: “‘Cause nobody butters me up like you, and/Nobody fucks me like me”
Remember My Name: “Just how many stars will I need to hang around me/To finally get somewhere I can be all done/Somewhere that I can burn”
Me and My Husband: “I steal a few breaths/From the world for a minute/And then I’ll be nothing forever/And all of my memories/And all of the things I have seen/Will be gone/With my eyes with my body with me”
Come into the Water: Maybe I’m the same as all those men/Writing songs of all they’re dreaming”
Nobody: “And I don’t want your pity/I just want somebody near me/Guess I’m a coward/I just want to feel alright”
Pink in the Night: “It’s like a summer shower/With every drop of rain singing/I love you, I love you, I love you”
A Horse Named Cold Air: I thought/I’d traveled/A long way/But I had/Circled the same old sin”
Washing Machine Heart: “I know who you pretend I am/But do mi ti/Why not me?”
Blue Light: “Somebody kiss me, I’m going crazy”
Two Slow Dancers: “And the ground has been slowly pulling us back down/You see it on both our skin/We get a few years and then it wants us back”
Puberty 2 (2016)
Happy: “Well I sighed and mumbled to myself/Again, I have to clean”
Dan the Dancer: “And when she asked to hold hands/He would smile and/Let one of his hands go/His whole life in one hand/His whole life”
Once More to See You: “If you would let me give you pinky promise kisses/Then I wouldn’t have to scream your name atop of every roof in the city of my heart”
Fireworks: “One morning this sadness will fossilize/And I will forget how to cry”
Your Best American Girl: “Your mother wouldn’t approve of how my mother raised me/But I do, I finally do”
I Bet on Losing Dogs: “I bet on losing dogs/I know they’re losing and I pay for my place/By the ring”
My Body’s Made of Crushed Little Stars: “I better ace that interview/I should tell them that I’m not afraid to die”
Thursday Girl: “Glory, glory, glory to the night/It shows me what I am”
A Loving Feeling: “What do you do with a loving feeling/If they only love you when you’re all alone”
Crack Baby: “It’s been a long hard twenty year summer vacation/Both these twenty years trying to fill the void”
A Burning Hill: “Today I will wear my white button-down/I’m tired of wanting more/I think I’m finally worn”
Bury Me at Makeout Creek (2014)
Texas Reznikoff: “But I’ve been anywhere/And it’s not what I want/And I wanna be still with you”
Townie: “And I want a love that falls as fast/As a body from the balcony”
First Love/Late Spring: “Wild women don’t get the blues”
Francis Forever: “I don’t know what to do without you/I don’t know where to put my hands”
I Don’t Smoke: “I am stronger than you give me/Credit for”
Jobless Monday: “He only loves me when/There’s a means he means to end”
Drunk Walk Home: “I will retire to the salton sea/At the age of 23/For I’m starting to learn I may never be free”
I Will: “And we’re not out of the tunnel/I bet you though there’s an end/Stay with me/Hold my hand”
Carry Me Out: “And I say your name/In hopes you’ll hear it in the stars”
Last Words of a Shooting Star: “I always wanted to die clean and pretty/But I’d be too busy on working days/So I am relieved that the turbulence wasn’t forecasted/I couldn’t have changed anyways”
Retired from Sad, New Career in Business (2013)
Goodbye, My Danish Sweetheart: “Maybe when you tell your friends/You can tell them what you saw in me/And not how I turned out to be”
Shame: “I was never very good/I haven’t been so good”
Because Dreaming Costs Money, My Dear: “So darling, play your violin/I know it’s what you live for/Darling, play your violin/We will manage somehow”
Humpty: “All the eggshells are on the ground/And I try, I’m trying to pick them up/But they crack and crumble/It’s all too much/Too frail for me to touch”
Circle: “I would give you my heart, I think/But it’s up in a branch of a tree”
I Want You: “You’re coming back/And it’s the end of the world/We’re starting over/And I love you, darling/And I am done, dear”
Square: “I tried my hardest, for I’d never learned/God’s very simple, and love shouldn’t burn”
Strawberry Blond: “I love everybody because I love you”
Class of 2013: “Mom, am I still young?/Can I dream for a few months more?”
Lush (2012)
Liquid Smooth: “Biology, I am an organism/I’m chemical that’s all/That is all”
Eric: “I’m tired, I’m tired of not loving you”
Brand New City: “But if I gave up on being pretty/I wouldn’t know how to be alive/I should move to a brand new city/And teach myself how to die”
Real Men: “Real men don’t flinch or bleed in public/ Oh, I think I’m a real man”
Wife: “I daydream I’d give him a name of my own/For I, even mine, even mine is unknown”
Abbey: “There is a dream and it sleeps in me/Keeps me awake in the night/Crying, ‘set me free’/And I wake every night/Crying, ‘set me free’”
Bag of Bones: “I’m all used up, pretty boy, over and over again/My nail colors are wearing off/See my hands, pretty boy, what do they tell you?/‘Cause I’ve looked down at them not knowing why”
Door: “A hopeless, a violence/I named it:/Love”
Pearl Diver: “Oh hunter, if you didn’t want the beautiful so badly/Perhaps you would have found it in your spirit singing softly”
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okay sorry this is just me being an asa simp but
"me and my husband" by mitski is my asa song because in the song there's like two men (in my opinion) that she's singing about. and to me, the 'husband' is asa emory but the 'other guy' is the collector.
like it's about this girl realizing her husband is the crazy serial killer and being like oh
"And then I'll be nothing forever... Will be gone, With my eyes with my body with me" is like her worrying he would kill her.
okay that's all
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I steal a few breaths from the world for a minute
And then I'll be nothing forever
And all of my memories, and all of the things I have seen
Will be gone, with my eyes, with my body, with me
- Me and My Husband (Mitski)
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Dave Harley (Inversestuck) in his version of Jade Harley’s space dress
#homestuck#inversestuck#dave strider#my art#fanart#I saw the orange glasses and stupid mammal brain went DAVEPETA?#no#this is DH not DPS^2#smh dave ur wearing a normal shirt with a tie#what the fuck happened to button ups#you know#the shirts you're supposed to wear with ties#I think#idfk I don't wear ties
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Two sides of the same desperately yearning coin; Danny and Mrs de Winter ㅡ a character playlist.
Can’t Get You Out of My Head - Loah, Bantum, The Line (Sweet Sorrow)
Poor Fake - Kelsey Lu (Blood)
Drew Barrymore - SZA (Ctrl)
빌런 Villain - 스텔라장 Stella Jang (STELLA I)
Me and My Husband - Mitski (Be the Cowboy)
Death on the Vine - Fana Hues (Hues)
잔향 Reverberation - 김동률 Kim Dong Ryul (오랜된 노래 Song of Old)
Ribs - Hejira (Thread of Gold)
Cellophane - FKA twigs (MAGDALENE)
Back To Black - Amy Winehouse (Back To Black)
Snakeskin - Rina Sawayama (SAWAYAMA)
Desert Flower - Fana Hues (Hues)
Pynk - Janelle Monae, Grimes (Dirt Computer)
Work Song - Hozier (Hozier)
Dear Name - IU (Palette)
Rumour Has It - Adele (21)
Mirrored Heart - FKA twigs (MAGDALENE)
Wonder What She Thinks of Me - Chloe x Halle (Ungodly Hour)
Listen here, notes under the cut.
“Mrs Danvers,” I said. “Mrs Danvers.” She turned to look at me, and I saw her eyes were read and swollen with crying, even as mine were, and there were dark shadows in her white face.
“What is it?” she said, and her voice was think and muffled from the tears she had shed, even as mine had been.
- Daphne du Maurier, Rebecca, chapter 18.
Every song on this playlist should be applicable to both the new Mrs de Winter and Mrs Danvers. Though some pronouns and gendered subjects are meant to be different for the both of them, the sentiments from each song should ring true to the innermost turmoil and desires that they share. Permeability, identity, acknowledgement, jealousy, love, doubt and understanding from oneself and from others, those are the key circles of overlap. They’re both ghosts haunting their own solid lives, hounding the present for a future that cannot and will not be.
Some key lyrics to take away from each song~!
Can’t Get You Out of My Head - Loah, Bantum, The Line (Sweet Sorrow)
I just can't get you out of my head / Boy, your lovin' is all I think about / I just can't get you out of my head / Boy, its more than I dare to think about
Poor Fake - Kelsey Lu (Blood)
As I stare into its frame, slowly approaching / At first glance, this is the finest painting I've ever laid eyes on / As they all say, it truly is one of a kind / I lift my magnifying glass to its smooth lines / Taking a closer look, inspection is key / What do we have here? Could this be a forgery? / Listen / Is this real or just a poor fake?
Drew Barrymore - SZA (Ctrl)
Do you really wanna love me down like you say you do? / Give it to me like you say you do? / 'Cause it's hard enough you got to treat me like this / Lonely enough to let you treat me like this / Do you really love me? / Or just wanna love me down, down, down? / Warm enough for ya outside baby, yeah (Tell me that it's warm enough here for ya) / Is it warm enough for ya inside me, me, me, me?
빌런 Villain - 스텔라장 Stella Jang (STELLA I)
I'm a villain / 왜 아닐 거라 생각해 / 아주 못돼먹은 / 작은 악마 같은 나인걸 몰라 / You’re a villain / 왜 아닐 거라 생각해 / 미처 몰랐던 악마가 / 네 안에 숨 쉬고 있어 / I'm killing someone maybe / You're killing someone maybe / I’m killing you maybe / You're killing me maybe
I'm a villain / What makes you think otherwise? / You don't know / What a wicked little devil I am / You're a villain / What makes you think otherwise? / The villain you failed to notice / Breathes within you / I'm killing someone maybe / You're killing someone maybe / I'm killing you maybe / You're killing me maybe
Me and My Husband - Mitski (Be the Cowboy)
I steal a few breaths / From the world for a minute / And then I'll be nothing forever / And all of my memories / And all of the things I have seen / Will be gone / With my eyes with my body with me
And I am the idiot with the painted face / In the corner, taking up space / But when he walks in, I am loved, I am loved
Death on the Vine - Fana Hues (Hues)
Stirrin' the pot / Stare as it thickens / Nights complexion deepens / 'Til I'm no longer a witness / Times listening / I can't help my backwards ways / I speak before I think / Don't hold me to what I say
잔향 Reverberation - 김동률 Kim Dong Ryul (오랜된 노래 Song of Old)
소리 없는 그대의 노래 / 귀를 막아도 은은해질 때 / 남모르게 삭혀온 눈물 / 다 게워내고 허기진 맘 채우려 / 불러보는 그대 이름
Your voiceless song / When I soften though I cover my ears / Without my knowing these tears have dried / I’ll empty my starving heart of everything and fill it / With your name I call
Ribs - Hejira (Thread of Gold)
All the vitals are failing us in our time of need / Who should we beg to breathe? / When it feels like our bruises and burns will never heal / Jaded by all the pain / All the blood it takes to make a life, to take a life / To save a life
Cellophane - FKA twigs (MAGDALENE)
And I, just want to feel you're there / And I don't want to have to share our love / I try but I get overwhelmed / All wrapped in cellophane, the feelings that we had / And didn't I do it for you? / Why don't I do it for you? / Why won't you do it for me? / When all I do is for you?
Back To Black - Amy Winehouse (Back To Black)
We only said goodbye with words / I died a hundred times / You go back to her / And I go back to
Snakeskin - Rina Sawayama (SAWAYAMA)
Looking for forgiveness / I ran into your madness / Shutting off my brain just to spite my / Heart
Buy my expensive, exclusive, pain wear / My fine couture is your branded repayment / I tear my soul into two so that you can / P-p-p-pretend despair
Desert Flower - Fana Hues (Hues)
The sun is setting quietly / I can feel it / I can see / And was it all just make belief? / You could grow next to me / 'Cause I don't wanna be / Anything but what you need / So if that means that I should leave / Well, I hope you bear the fruit of your seed
Pynk - Janelle Monae, Grimes (Dirt Computer)
Pink when you're blushing inside, baby / Pink is the truth you can't hide, maybe / Pink like the folds of your brain, crazy / Pink as we all go insane
Work Song - Hozier (Hozier)
And I was burnin' up a fever / I didn't care much how long I lived / But I swear I thought I dreamed her / She never asked me once about the wrong I did / When my time comes around / Lay me gently in the cold dark earth / No grave can hold my body down / I'll crawl home to her
Dear Name - IU (Palette)
꿈에서도 그리운 목소리는 / 이름 불러도 대답을 하지 않아 / 글썽이는 그 메아리만 돌아와 / 그 소리를 나 혼자서 들어 / 깨어질 듯이 차가워도 / 이번에는 결코 놓지 않을게 / 아득히 멀어진 그날의 두 손을 / 끝없이 길었던 짙고 어두운 밤 사이로
조용히 사라진 네 소원을 알아 / 오래 기다릴게 반드시 너를 찾을게 / 보이지 않도록 멀어도 / 가자 이 새벽이 끝나는 곳으로
The voice I long for even in my dreams / I call out the name but there’s no answer / Only the tearful echo returns / And I listen to that sound by myself / Even if it’s so cold, it feels like it’ll break / I won’t ever let go this time / The hands of that day that has gotten so far away / Through the night that was endlessly long and thick and dark / I know your wish has silently disappeared / I’ll wait for a long time, I will definitely find you / Even if you’re so far that I can’t see you / Let’s go, to the place at the tip of dawn
Rumour Has It - Adele (21)
She, she ain't real / She ain't gon' be able to love you like I will / She is a stranger / You and I have history / Or don't you remember / Sure, she's got it all / But, baby, is that really what you want
All of these words whispered in my ear / Tell a story that I cannot bear to hear / Just 'cause I said it, it don't mean that I meant it / People say crazy things
Mirrored Heart - FKA twigs (MAGDALENE)
Did you want me all? / No, not for life / Did you truly see me? / No, not this time / Were you ever sure? / No, no, no, not with me / That's why it's all for the gain / It's all for the lovers trying to push the pain away / It's all for the gain / It's all for the lovers trying to fuck away the pain / But I'm never gonna give up / Though I'm probably gonna think about you all the time / And for the lovers who found a mirrored heart / They just remind me I'm without you
Wonder What She Thinks of Me - Chloe x Halle (Ungodly Hour)
Tell me, tell me, baby, I know this dangerous / You've done this before, so who are you to judge me, me? / It's never wrong when you're in, you're in love / It's never wrong when it feels right / I'll hold you close and pretend you're mine / I'll be the sun against your skin / I'll be there when she's not listening / You can call me crazy, boy / Oh yeah, we'll both be crazy, boy / Tell me you love me, 'cause I just wanna be your baby / Well, that's the price I gotta pay / I wonder what she thinks of me
#rebecca daphne du maurier#rebecca das musical#rebecca korea#theatreedit#koreanmusicaledit#musicaledit#레베카#뮤지컬
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HARVEY DIGS SABRINA
a harvey/sabrina mix
L I S T E N
TRACKLIST + LYRICS under the cut
old friend | MITSKI
we nearly drowned for such a silly thing
someone who loves me now, better than you
and that pretty friend is finally yours, and
I’ll be around on Sunday, if
you’ll meet me at Blue Diner
I’ll take coffee and talk about nothing, baby
at Blue Diner, I’ll take anything you want to give me, baby
every time I drive through the city where you’re from
I squeeze a little
I wanna be with you | MANDY MOORE
there’s nothing else I want more than to feel this way
be my baby | THE RONETTES
the night we met, I knew I needed you so
and if I had the chance, I’d never let you go
I only have eyes for you | THE FLAMINGOS
my love must be a kind of blind love
I can’t see anyone but you
the moon may be high
but I can’t see a thing in the sky
I only have eyes for you
baby don’t go | KATIE VON SCHLEICHER
I tried so hard
I tried so hard
and I knew I was angry
I knew it was wrong, but —
baby don’t go
baby don’t go
forget her | JEFF BUCKLEY
remember her hair as it shone in the sun
the smell of the bed when I knew what she’d done
tell yourself over and over
you won’t ever need her again
you won’t do + cold | THE REGRETTES
I like looking into your eyes
I like seeing all your other sides
I’m in my room, clothes on the floor
I really wish that you would open my door
my bed is cold and my sheets are new
maybe it would be warmer if it had you
I wanna cry rivers and I wanna scream storms
but the weather’s too nice and my body’s too torn
I wanna throw planets and I wanna drink the sea
but my head is too small and dreams too big for me
they tell me I’m young and that I have time to grow
I say I’m not patient, they say I’m cold as the snow
my heart’s insecure and my mind is a bitch
and I can’t cast a spell even though I’m a witch
gently break it | BECK PETE
I’m tryna be whole again
wish I had amnesia lately
‘cause a distant memory’s comin’ so close again
I want you close again
why does your danger lead to my devotion?
runaway | DEL SHANNON
as I walk along, I wonder
what went wrong with our love
a love that was so strong
if only she knew | MICHELLE BRANCH
though it looks as if it’s over
I’m still not over you
‘cause I still love you like I did before, I know for sure
that you still feel the same way I do
if only she knew
keep on loving you | CIGARETTES AFTER SEX
you played dead, but you never bled
instead you lie still in the grass, all coiled up and hissing
and I meant every word I said
when I said that I love you I meant that I’d love you forever
a case of you | JONI MITCHELL
just before our love got lost, you said
I am as constant as a northern star and I said
constantly in the darkness
oh, I am a lonely painter
I live in a box of paints
I’m frightened by the devil
and I’m drawn to those ones that ain’t afraid
fools rush in (where angels fear to tread) | BOW WOW WOW
fools rush in where angels fear to tread
and so I come to you, my love
my heart above my head
though I see the danger there
if there’s a chance for me
then I don’t care
heaven tonight | HOLE
here comes the sun in the form of a girl
she’s the finest sweetest thing in the world
take you to heaven tonight
be your husband | JEFF BUCKLEY
be your husband if you’ll be my wife
love and honor you the rest of your life
let her dance | THE BOBBY FULLER FOUR
well, there she goes with a brand new love affair
dancing with him like she don’t even care
well, let her dance with him
let her dance all night long
who would’ve known that just yesterday
she danced with me the very same way
well, let her dance with him
let her dance all night long
#caosedit#harbrina#harvina#harbrinaedit#harvey x sabrina#Chilling Adventures of Sabrina#harvey kinkle#sabrina spellman#fanmix#yes i posted this at 12:36 on the dot#if you know you know
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i hear my heart breaking tonight
wild women don’t get the blues / but i find that lately i’ve been crying like a tall child
i steal a few breaths from the world and then i’ll be nothing forever / and all of my memories and all the things i have seen will be gone with my eyes, with my body, with me
i don’t need the world to see that i’ve been the best i can be / i don’t know what to do without you / i don’t know where to put my hands / i’ve been trying to lay my head down but i’m writing this at three a.m. / i don’t need the world to see that i’ve been the best i can be / but i don’t think i could stand to be where you don’t see me
1. pink in the night 2. first love / late spring 3. me and my husband 4. francis forever
lyrics from mitski’s albums be the cowboy and bury me at makeout creek (poster source)
#mitski#art#words#k#abandonment#sadness#grief#mortality#pink in the night#first love late spring#me and my husband#francis forever#be the cowboy#bury me at makeout creek
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until forever falls apart
╰┈➤ in which y/n has to figure out life without harry, and harry has never felt this way before.
╰┈➤ part two to someone you loved
⧖ harry styles x fem!reader
⧖ warnings: swearing angst, toxicity, reader is bi and if you have a problem with that: cry abt it i couldn't care less :), talks of anxiety (if that bothers you read something else i have written or request something!)
⧖ a/n: if you want, listen to the following songs while reading: me and my husband by mitski, as the world caves in by matt maltese, moral of the story by ashe! thank you!
masterlist
•°. *࿐
4 days after the breakup
y/n and harry. the perfect couple. that's what people pictured when they heard their names. they were seen as the perfect couple by everyone. it was a reality, until it wasn't.
every couple has their fair share of fights. it's unhealthy if you bottle anything up. y/n and harry didn't argue often, every once in a while. when harry was being to narcissistic or when y/n put her career first. it was perfectly fine. until harry had enough y/n guessed.
y/n had no idea what lead to the downfall of their relationship. they had been together for so long. y/n planned out their life together. growing old together. starting a family wasn't in the stars for y/n, she didn't not like kids, but couldn't see herself being a mom. that was the only thing that was stopping her from literally getting on one knee and proposing to harry on their third date. he's always wanted kids.
y/n thinks that this might be a blessing in disguise. they won't that unfathomable talk, "it's not you, it's me". she wouldn't be able to bear it.
as she was lost in thought, she heard a knock at the door. y/n was confused. after the fight/breakup with harry she got on a flight to new york and was staying at her apartment there, and no one knew she was here besides her mom. when she looked through the peephole she was sort of relieved, sort of not. she didn't want to see anyone, but if she had to she was glad it was her best friend.
when y/n opened the door, lily walked. lily has been her best friend since she was little. their moms were best friends forever also, so it was in the cards for them. she likes having lily by her side because she knows how the whole 'celebrity' thing works, being an actress and johnny depp and vanessa paradis' child.
so yes, y/n is getting better she supposes.
•°. *࿐
harry was having the time of his life. he can finally be with this mistress out in the open like he's always wanted. he keeps getting questioned on where y/n is and what happened to their relationship. which he has been ignoring. along with his friends calls wondering what also happened with the relationship.
harry has always been a private guy, so his fans, y/n's fans, and the media were confused on why he was being so open with his new relationship.
he was having the time of his life being free, or so he thought. after 4 or so days after the break up, he started to feel alone. yes, he had his mistress, fallon was it? but harry has never felt so alone sitting in his room in the house they shared. he knows it’s his fault. of course it is. he drove her away without a second thought because he wanted to sleep with other people. and he got the chance, it didn’t feel right to him. no one was better for him then y/n. now he realizes it. and now he doesn’t even know where she is and how he would fix this.
•°. *࿐
2 months later
y/n was feeling good. she’s back to work and is filming her new marvel disney+ series, nyx, about the greek goddess of the night. she’s back with hanging out with her friends again, and she’s done a few photoshoots for some campaigns and magazines. some say she’s doing the best she ever has been.
she hasn’t. y/n is missing something. she can feel her heart beating out of her chest and can feel her fingers get shaky. she also is religiously redecorating her new york apartment, something she does to cope with these new found things that are happening to her.
so after a night of redecorating her living room because she got a new throw pillow, she sees someone is calling her. it’s an unknown number.
she picks up, “hello this is y/n. who’s this?”. shes used to getting calls from random numbers, from getting callbacks to prank calls. so this is nothing new. “y/n? it’s- it’s harry lovie” thats when she can literally feel her heart trying to get out of her chest.
“harry? why are calling me it’s 2 in the morning” well, it is for her, its eleven for him.
“are you in new york? it’s eleven here.” that’s when she knew she fucked up. she didn’t want harry to know where she was, incase he wanted to plead his case (which was highly unlikely) or so she thought.
“im working on a project here. again why are you calling?” she knows she’s being mean, but he cheated in her so. karma.
“i wanted to talk. i know it’s late for you so i'll let you go” y/n wants to badly to hang up. to act like he never called, but that void in her chest is filling so she continues on with the call.
“okay, talk then” she wants to see what he has to say.
“okay fuck. i miss you. and i know this might sound utter bullshit. but i do. not like i ever have. i can’t do certain things because we used to do them together. i still can’t even sleep on your side of the fucking bed. that makes me sound like a pathetic idiot but it doesn’t matter. i’m sorry. i hurt you in the worst way, and i will hate myself everyday for it. i need you like i never needed you before. this is probably the hardest thing i’ve ever had to so because i hate saying i am wrong. but if it means getting to wakeup with you, and see you everyday that it’s worth it” after harry was finished with spiel. y/n is shocked. this wasn’t exactly what she was expecting.
she’s silent for a moment. “lovie, are you there?” harry asks. of course im still fucking here she thinks.
“i don’t know what you want me to say” y/n, in the first time in her entire life, it rendered speechless. “you cheat on me, tell me you no longer love me, and then call me two months later saying you miss me? your making no sense”
“i know lovie. i’ve been trying to figure out a way to say it the best i could but i got tired of waiting.” y/n is tired. she’s so tired and wants to go to bed until january.
“i have to go.” and with that she hangs up.
#harry styles angst#harry styles x you#Harry Styles#harry styles x y/n#oneshot#harry styles one shot#angst#fluff#fanfiction
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Nobody - Angst, Scott x Jimmy
Another angst songfic, and despite the angst, I really enjoyed writing this one. This one is the hobbit husbands, for @/jubilee__line_ on Twitter.
The song is 'Nobody' by Mitski.
My God, I'm so lonely
So I open the window
To hear sounds of people
To hear sounds of people
Arrows were flying from both sides as the battle raged. One particular Red Army member drew his bow and let an arrow fly. It sped through the air and into the bunker, hitting Jimmy. He collapsed, vanishing as the death message appeared. The fight continued, but Scott could feel himself breaking.
That scene kept repeating itself in Scott's head ever since the event. It haunted him, sending him into a mindset of grief, regret, and hate. Scott constantly asked himself if there was some way he could've changed the outcome, put his yellow life before Jimmy's red somehow, but he didn't know. Either way, he felt guilty, as if it was his fault. Every moment he spent at the base he used to share with Jimmy hurt, but at the same time, he couldn't bear to be away from it. It was all he had left of Jimmy, and he'd miss it too much if he tried to leave.
And Jimmy he missed with every breath. His soft brown eyes always sparkling with excitement or mischief. His wide smile, usually accompanied by the laugh that Scott adored. His touch, that on its own could make Scott feel reassured. His lips and the world of new feelings when they kissed. Even his eye for trouble. Scott missed everything.
Maybe it was just him being too hopeful, or even being lonely, but at times Scott could almost feel Jimmy's presence. He couldn't see him, but it was like he could feel his touch again, sense Jimmy standing next to him, even catch what he thought was an almost inaudible whisper. But he was never sure, and he didn't want to give himself false hope.
Scott sighed, turning his tear-stained face to the window. It was a nice day, but he hadn't been outside in a while. Maybe some fresh air would do him some good. He pushed open the window and leaned against it as cool air rushed inside. It felt good, but it didn't cure the deep feelings of grief and loneliness.
Suddenly, Scott realized he could hear people shouting in the distance. He had a sneaking suspicion as to what was going on, but he headed outside to investigate anyway.
Venus, planet of love
Was destroyed by global warming
Did its people want too much too?
Did its people want too much?
Scott climbed up the hill over his house and gazed over at the Crastle. A battle between Team Crastle and the Red Army seemed to be going on. The Red Army had the castle surrounded, while arrows rained down on them from the people in the castle above.
What was the point of all this? To kill each other? Scott didn't even know how he thought the idea sounded fun at first, but now he hated it. He lost Jimmy because of this war. Part of him knew that he'd see his love again, but at the same time, a deeper part of him couldn't help but worry how true that was. Death wasn't something to be taken lightly. What if Grian had messed something up with the server, and those dead would be dead forever?
Scott didn't want to win anymore. He didn't know why anyone else would either. If this was what he'd have to go through, it was too much.
And I don't want your pity
I just want somebody near me
Guess I'm a coward
I just want to feel alright
Even so, Scott couldn't help but feel slightly guilty as he watched his allies fighting. He should be over there, helping them. But he didn't want to fight anymore, not if Jimmy wasn't next to him. He wanted to go back in time, back to when everything was peaceful and Jimmy was alive. Back when he felt alright.
Scott clenched and unclenched his fists as he watched the battle. The Crastle people kept taking hits from the Red Army below, and even from afar it was clear they were getting worried. Guilt and anger made Scott's blood boil, and when a death message flashed that was the last straw.
"I'll see you soon, Jimmy," Scott whispered, before pulling out his bow and charging down the hill.
And I know no one will save me
I just need someone to kiss
Give me one good honest kiss
And I'll be alright
Scott began sniping the Red Army members, focusing on Ren. At first, the so-called king didn't turn, but after a moment he seemed to realize he was being shot at from a different side and whipped around. Scott's heart leaped into his throat as Ren began sprinting over to him, but he pulled out his sword and faced his enemy bravely.
Their swords clashed. Scott struggled to hold on, but his skills lied in a bow more than a sword. In little time, Ren had overpowered him. Scott tried to run, but he wasn't fast enough.
Pain flooded through his body as Ren hit him repeatedly. Rapidly, his hearts drained to nothing, and his death message flashed as his world went black.
He opened his eyes to find himself in the air above where he'd died. It was like he was viewing it through a red filter, and the 'respawn' button floated in front of him. He went to hit it, but something stopped him. Without even thinking why he turned around to see Jimmy standing behind him. He was partly transparent, but it was Jimmy.
"Jimmy..." Scott whispered.
Jimmy smiled softly and offered his hands. Hesitantly, Scott placed his hands in Jimmy's. Jimmy's hands phased through his, but Scott could feel them as if their hands were really touching. His eyes pricked with tears, and he glanced back up to look into Jimmy's eyes. They were sad, but he had a reassuring smile.
"The war's not over yet, Scott. But we'll see each other soon, I promise..." Jimmy whispered.
Scott opened his mouth to reply, but he blinked and Jimmy was gone. He bit his lip, struggling to hold back tears as he pressed the 'respawn' button.
Nobody, nobody, nobody
Nobody, nobody
Ooh, nobody, nobody, nobody
It took Scott several minutes to collect himself after he respawned. When his tears had ceased enough for him to think, he made his way back to the Crastle. The battle had ended. The Red Army was gone, and Team Crastle was outside, picking up the items of those who had died. Impulse was now red, Scott noticed, but miraculously the other reds, Tango, Bdubs, and Scar, had managed to survive.
“Oh, Scott, you’re back,” Bdubs said. “Your stuff is in a chest over there,” he added, pointing to a chest near the spot Ren had killed him.
“Thanks,” Scott replied, heading over there and opening the chest. He collected his gear then turned back to his allies. “Well, I’ll be heading back home now...”
“Actually, we were wondering if you’d like to stay with us in the Crastle?” Tango asked. “Y’know, so that you don’t have to run here next time Ren attacks, and you might be safer.”
Scott paused and thought about that for a moment. It would be a good idea, but he didn’t want to leave his base. He felt closest to Jimmy there, and he would rather be there than the Crastle, despite all the memories and pain.
“It’s a nice offer, but I think I’m going to stay at my base,” Scott said.
“Memories?” Scar asked, surprisingly softly.
“Um—yeah,” Scott nodded.
“That’s understandable. Just be careful,” Scar said.
Scott nodded, deciding not to question Scar’s gentleness. It was Scar after all, and he was a mystery to anyone. “I will.”
Casting one last glance at the others, Scott turned and began walking back home.
I've been big and small
And big and small
And big and small again
And still nobody wants me
Still nobody wants me
A few days passed with no fighting. Scott stayed in his hobbit hole mostly, occasionally going outside to get some fresh air, but he didn't see anyone. He did, however, feel Jimmy's presence more and more as time went on. Scott wasn't sure how he felt about this. Being able to feel that Jimmy was there but never see him caused almost more pain than when he'd lost him, but at the same time, Scott preferred that over losing Jimmy completely.
Scott remembered what Jimmy had said about them being together soon and wondered if that meant his time was coming. He knew the final battle was close; would he die then? Honestly, he didn’t mind if he did. He’d go down fighting, an honorable death, and any end to his constant grief and pain would be a welcome one.
Finally, the time came. Impulse showed up at Scott’s door, injured and breathing heavily as he informed Scott that the Red Army was attacking again.
And I know no one will save me
I'm just asking for a kiss
Give me one good movie kiss
And I'll be alright
The next events happened in a blur.
Scott returned to the Crastle with Impulse, raining arrows on the Red Army. He got several hits, maybe even a death or two. He didn't know. He didn't keep track. His mind was a mess the entire battle, and several times he thought he saw Jimmy's ghost fighting beside him.
Etho's sword came out of nowhere.
Scott gasped as the blade stabbed into his stomach and he stared into the wild, mismatched eyes of his attacker. Etho said nothing aloud, but Scott knew what he was thinking: This is revenge.
Scott understood that completely; he wanted it too.
Pain surged through Scott’s body as Etho stabbed him again. Scott raised his sword to fight back, and he did decent damage to Etho. However, his attacks weakened as his energy depleted. His life flashed before his eyes as Etho landed the final hit. Letting out his last, ragged breath, Scott closed his eyes and let himself fall into darkness.
Nobody, nobody, nobody
Nobody, nobody
Ooh, nobody, nobody
Nobody, nobody, nobody
He floated into the air a moment later as a ghost. A sigh escaped him as he stared down at his corpse. He lifted his head and turned as he felt a familiar presence.
"I've missed you."
A smile spread across Scott's face as he turned to embrace his husband.
Nobody, nobody, nobody, nobody
Nobody, nobody, nobody, nobody
Nobody, nobody, nobody, nobody
Nobody, nobody
Nobody, nobody, no
#3rd life smp#minecraft#3rd life scott#smajor1995#3rd life jimmy#solidaritygaming#scott x jimmy#smajor1995 x solidaritygaming#rendog#renthedog#ethoslab#bdouble0#bdubs#goodtimeswithscar#impulsesv#tangotek#songfic#oneshot#angst#angst with a happy ending#canon-typical violence#violence#loneliness#major character injury#major character death#team crastle#red army
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∞
i steal a few breaths from the world for a minute
and then i’ll be nothing forever
(me and my husband - mitski)
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I steal a few breaths from the world for a minute,
And then I'll be nothing forever,
And all of my memories and all of the things I have seen will be gone
— Mitski, Me and My Husband
#mitski#me and my husband#song lines#song quotes#Song lyrics#poetry#Love#Love story#Love quotes#Mortality#memento mori#one sided attraction#one sided crush#one sided friendship#one sided love#unrequited crush#unreciprocated love#unrequited love#depressive quotes#depressive#depression#depressed
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I steal a few breaths // From the world for a minute / /
And then I'll be nothing forever
-
And all of the memories // All the things I have been // will be gone
-
- Mitski - Me and My Husband
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