#and the way eddie's like 'you of all people should understand' and bobby's like 'i do that's why i'm telling you'
Text
Both Buck/Tommy and Buddie shippers are being so dramatic about everything.
On one hand, you have people acting like Buck and Tommy is written in the stars and anyone who dislikes them are being unjust and hateful. On the other, you have people acting as if Buck can’t possibly be in a relationship with a man who isn’t Eddie, and claiming he can is somehow based in racism and hatred of Eddie.
Neither is true! The problem is that prior to 7x04, Evan Buckley was not a canon queer character. He was viewed that way by fans and Oliver Stark was all for it, but that does not change the actual canon history of the character. Therefore, the writers can only fix what they feel fits the current story. They can retcon a few things and so on, but both sides are acting like they’re right, and it makes no sense.
Yes, Buddie shippers have Oliver and Ryan on their side for the most part. Yes, Oliver believes Buck has been queer all along and he thinks a lot of the headcanons about his character’s reaction to things make sense, but he is NOT saying it’s all true. He agrees Buck was likely experiencing some jealousy when Eddie first showed up, but that does not mean Tim Minear is going to make that theory canon. It’s fans and Oliver who think it, but that does not equal canon.
As well, with things being slightly retconned or adjusted to fit the story… Tommy is obviously no longer an asshole by proximity. He was rude to Hen and Chim, but we’ve seen he him interact with the two of them since in civil ways. We know Chim thinks he’s cool. Continuing to demand he apologize on screen is a waste of time. It was five seasons ago, and the story had to change to fit Tim bringing his character back. It happens.
As for Buck/Tommy shippers, y’all have got to get off the high horse of Possibility. At the moment, there are so many ways their relationship can go, and the only reason you all are so high and mighty about it, is because you’re technically never going to be wrong until you’re wrong. Which is annoying.
Yes, Tim could choose to have Tommy stick around for another season. Yeah, Buck and Tommy could be endgame. Yeah, Buck and Tommy could… any and everything is possible, but acting as if Tommy is the love of Buck’s life and deserves fan devotion is crazy. Don’t get me wrong, I like the character. He seems nice if a little cocky, but I like that. I like that he’s written as a grown man who, even though he’s changed, still has a little bit of asshole in him.
Because yes, what he did to Buck on their first date was rude. He didn’t explain anything and left him standing outside the restaurant as if he hadn’t just told him he’s never dated a man before, and as if they hadn’t just run into his best friend. It was a dick move. However, it’s also kinda realistic. So I dug it, but that’s also all we really know about him.
Tommy is an army vet, flies helicopters, was a firefighter, and is gay. Which he struggled to come to terms with, and can be a dick. The way y’all treating him like a savior is insane. Y’all are trying to rub it in people’s face that his relationship with Buck is canon while Buddie isn’t, and I don’t understand that. Buck wasn’t even bisexual three episodes ago, so where is this higher than thou attitude even coming from?
The only thing people should be focused on is the fact that Buck is now canonically bisexual. Tim liked the idea and Oliver loved it, so they finally made it happen. Now, his story has even more potential. I’d even go so far as to say season 7 is going to be a cleaning and re-establishing of all the characters, because so many of them feel a little different.
We’ve got bi!Buck, meaning we’ll get to see him in one or more relationships that he isn’t used to being in. We’ve got a new actor playing Harry, and he’s older, meaning they’re going to have to write to his strengths and build a storyline there that is more mature. Bobby and Athena almost died together for real for real, thus hopefully we’ll get to see their relationship evolve and what if it changes them in any way. Chim and Maddie are finally getting married, so we get to see them kickstart a new chapter together. Hen and Karen have a new child, which will hopefully bring them more storylines and hijinks as a family. And Eddie is dealing with forcing himself to accept a relationship he may not even want to be in. And he’s aware this time, which could result in him ignoring his fears or bowing out, then having to face what bowing out means.
Point is, there is no reason for all this drama.
Buddie is not guaranteed just because it is a popular want for fans, and an accepted theory by the actors and showrunner. They’ve all said it has to fit the overall story without forcibly gearing the writing in that direction. Which means it could happen two episodes from now or two seasons from now. We just have to wait and see.
At the same time, Buck and Tommy are not an established couple yet. They’re going on their second date, and it’s been said Tommy isn’t in the last few episodes of the season. So it’s possible he and Buck are still together, but Lou isn’t a series regular nor regular recurring, so he’s just not contracted to be on set. Which is fine, but acting like a quick breakup is also bad storytelling is ridiculous.
Fans have hated Buck’s relationships with women from the jump, and him breaking up fast isn’t exactly new. So if it happens with the first man he dates… okay. Tommy can become more than a stepping stone, but the writers aren’t obligated to make his first experience with a man something deep and profound. It can be fun and eye-opening and still have mattered, even if it ends fast.
Y’all have got to let the stories play out, and not scream bloody murder if your headcanon doesn’t become canon. Because truth be told, Buck being canon bi is the biggest flex of fan service I’ve ever seen, even if I think it adds to the depth of him. So I can’t imagine how difficult it is to be sure not to continue giving that same group of fans everything they want outright, when there’s so much more story to unfold.
Which means they can’t just make Tommy the love of Buck’s life because Buck/Tommy fans have ditched Buddie or were never Buddie shippers, and want to be right. But they also can’t have Eddie come out and he and Buck start dating, because Buddie shippers have waited five seasons. Just wait to see what happens, and in the meantime, enjoy watching Buck discover more of himself. With Tommy as his current love interest, and Eddie as his best friend.
30 notes
·
View notes
Text
tease tidbit tuesday 🫧
hi friends, i'm procrastinating doing my fema courses in favor of watching season 4 <3 have a lil bit of eddie vs the hoa
It’s just—Buck is big and it kind of drives Eddie a little crazy.
Like? God, okay. He’s a little stupid over it. You’ll have to forgive him.
He is so big, right, larger than Eddie and Eddie isn’t a small guy. He’s filled out since finishing his probationary year, settling in his career and getting comfortable in the life he chose for himself and Chris. He’s more functional muscle than big gains; his stomach’s soft, protected by a sweet layer of fat, but his core’s solid and his arms are twice the size they used to be when he was twenty-seven.
See? He isn’t small.
But, like, Buck’s just bigger, wider and broader and thicker, and there’s something so delicious about having somebody that large at his mercy, at his every beck and call. Buck has this quality about him, no matter his size, like he’s always ready to drop to his knees and let himself be taken care of, and it has Eddie’s head buzzing in a way that most definitely isn’t from the beer.
tagged by @wikiangela, @jeeyuns, @devirnis, @disasterbuckdiaz, and @daffi-990 <3
tagging @spagheddiediaz, @puppyboybuckley, @evanbegins, @honestlydarkprincess, @exhuastedpigeon, @thewolvesof1998, @theotherbuckley, and @monsterrae1 if any of you wanna share!
#i've got 4 tests to take/procedures to read#and you know what? watching jinx eddie is one of my favorites but i don't think we talk about bobby and eddie's dynamic enough#what the fuck do you MEAN mr eddie told bobby word for word 'i'm not over her' in reference to shannon when they were#discussing ana and then a few episodes later eddie has a panic attack because somebody assumed ana was his wife?#eddie's story with grief (over shannon and himself together and separate) is so quiet and so glorious and so beautiful#i can't get over it? he loved shannon so much and god. GOD. he tried to move on and he wasn't ready but he had fun#he had so much fun with ana until it wasn't anymore and then. and then GOD. GOD?#i'm gonna have a little fit if i'm not fuckin careful?#and the way eddie's like 'you of all people should understand' and bobby's like 'i do that's why i'm telling you'#the bobby and eddie parallels here my god :)#also buck running and falling after brian the impersonator is never not going to make me laugh#mwah#tag games
60 notes
·
View notes
Note
HELLO wrapped number fic prompt if u want: 62 👉👈
it is perhaps a little sacrilegous to reduce trample out the days to the line bury my heart at the rodeo but. i did it anyway
this is for all my cowboy eddie girlies 🫶🏻 and for anyone who actually knows things about rodeo: i am so sorry i googled my best
Later, Buck will deny the way Eddie tells the story.
All I had to do was get on a horse, Eddie will say. That’s all it took.
And Buck will blush and grin and insist it was more than that, but—
That’s kind of the gist of it.
What happens is this: the LAFD announces the theme for their annual fundraiser, and Buck loses his mind. (There are some steps in between, but those are the broad strokes of it.)
Through some quirk of fate, some accident of the universe—a universe, Buck has long since decided, that gets off on mocking him—the theme of this year’s fundraiser is rodeo.
—
At first, this doesn’t seem like a problem. Buck is ready to laugh it off like he does every year, to make a perfunctory effort towards a costume, man whatever booth Bobby tells him to, and laugh about it with Eddie later.
Then Eddie opens his mouth, and says something that makes the entire long table in the firehouse loft get whiplash turning to look at him.
“I used to ride rodeo.”
Hen blinks, several times in quick succession. Chimney makes a strangled noise. Buck drops his spoon.
It splashes back into his bowl of cereal, but everyone is too focused on Eddie to notice.
“Please,” Chimney says, propping his chin in his hands like a teenage girl in a high school movie. “Do elaborate.”
“Not professionally or anything,” Eddie says. “But it was offered at my high school. Just gymkhana and stuff.”
“Oh, sure,” Hen says. “Just gymkhana. Okay.”
“Some people played football,” Eddie shrugs. “It’s not that different.”
“Not that different,” Ravi echoes. “Yeah, I can’t see any difference. Definitely not the horses or anything.”
“Other people ride horses,” Eddie tries to protest.
“But not in the rodeo,” Chimney says.
“That’s what I’m saying,” Eddie says. He shoots Buck a look that might be saying help me, but Buck’s too distracted by the thought of Eddie on horseback to react. “I was never in the rodeo. Gymkhana was like—I don’t know, rec league. The events I rode aren’t even in real rodeos.” He grins. “Or—barrel racing is, but professionally that’s women only.”
“None of this is helping you get out of this, Edmundo,” Hen says, and Eddie glares at her. “I’m sure they’ll find something for you to do.”
She looks to Bobby and they all follow, turning to see a grin spreading across his face.
“Yeah,” he says. “I’m sure they will.”
—
And so Buck finds himself in a locker room just off the field at some small-town rodeo arena just outside of Los Angeles, watching Eddie pace back and forth in well-worn Wranglers and a faded flannel shirt.
“Is this a bad idea?” Eddie mutters, then shakes his head. “Of course it’s a bad idea, god, I haven’t chased the cans in over a decade—”
Buck knows he should reassure Eddie, try to talk him off this ledge, but—
This is a version of Eddie he hasn’t even known to dream of.
A version of Eddie who looks like he could have stepped off the cover of a western, who keeps mumbling words that Buck understands separately but not in the combinations he deploys them in. A version of Eddie who is about to mount a horse and race it around the barrels in front of the entire LAFD and everyone who’s turned out to support them.
This is a version of Eddie that makes it hard for Buck to remember that thinking about Eddie is not something he does. Is not something he can do, not without spiralling into visions of a future he can never have.
Buck has long since learned how to quiet those thoughts, how to tuck them between his ribs and lock them away. He’s made his peace with the fact that Eddie is his friend. But it seems his immunity doesn’t extend to a version of Eddie who rides in rodeos.
“Buck?” Eddie asks, and when Buck looks up, there’s something vulnerable in his eyes. Eddie opens his mouth, his features crouched on the edge of a question—
And there’s a knock on the door. “You’re up next, cowboy,” Chimney calls, barely disguised glee in his voice.
“I—that’s me,” Eddie says. “I’d better—”
“Yeah,” Buck says.
Their eyes meet, and something passes between them. Something Buck can’t identify, like every time he tries to make its shape out, it shifts just out of reach.
“Will you watch?” Eddie asks.
Buck blinks. “Of course,” he says. Then: “Cowboy,” tacked on just a little too late to be natural.
Eddie grins, a little tight around the edges.
“You’ll be fine,” Buck says, softer now. “I’m sure riding a horse is just like—uh. Like riding a bike.”
That gets a laugh out of Eddie, though he shakes his head. “It’s really not,” he says. “But I’ve come down here to practice a few times. To get to know the horse. So she gets used to me.”
“See?” Buck says. “You’ll be fine.”
Then Chimney knocks again, and Eddie squares his shoulders and heads out of the room.
Buck makes his way to the edge of the field. He’s right by the starting line, perfectly positioned to see it when Eddie bursts out of the alley astride a beautiful chestnut horse, racing past the timer beam and towards the first barrel.
The race itself is fast—barely twenty seconds after Eddie started, he’s cantering back in the opposite direction and crossing the finishing line. The electronic scoreboard in the corner beeps, updating the times, but Buck doesn’t look up to see how Eddie placed. His eyes are glued to Eddie, to the slight gleam of sweat along his forehead and the way muscles ripple under his jeans as he slows the horse down. He notices Buck watching, and he—
Eddie winks, and Buck’s mouth goes dry.
He starts heading for the alley before his brain quite catches up with his feet, weaving his way along the edge of the field until he makes it to where Eddie is dismounting.
(Buck would like to say he doesn’t stare at Eddie’s ass while he does, but he isn’t quite that shameless a liar.)
Eddie pats the horse’s neck and murmurs something, then hands the reins to someone hovering by the side. He turns to face Buck, exhilaration written clear across his face. “Did you see?”
“Yeah,” Buck says, with a grin of his own. “Eddie, that was—”
Then he takes a breath. “I need you to know that this isn’t just about the horse,” he says, and grabs the front of Eddie’s shirt, pulling him in for a kiss.
Eddie stands frozen for only a fraction of a second before his hands find Buck’s waist, pulling him impossibly close. He makes a muffled noise against Buck’s mouth, and it takes a moment for Buck to realise it’s a laugh.
“Not just about the horse, huh?” Eddie murmurs when Buck pulls back with a questioning look.
Buck laughs. “Full disclosure, it’s a little bit about the horse,” he admits. “But it’s mostly about you.”
“Good,” Eddie says, smiling softly. “Because this is about you.” And he leans in for another kiss.
also on ao3!
send me a number for a spotify wrapped prompt!
174 notes
·
View notes
Text
Buck & Eddie: Eddie was M.I.A. and Buck was too.
The video above includes the scenes from S6 where Buck and Eddie were either missing or weren't mentioned even though they should have been.
During Season 6, Eddie was M.I.A. (missing in action) from several scenes even though he should have been present and Buck was either not mentioned or he was missing too even though he should have been present.
While I was watching 6x4 when it originally aired, I noticed Buck wasn’t on a call while the rest of the team was at work and as 6A progressed, it became a pattern. For the duration of 6A and well into 6B, Buck’s or Eddie’s absences became even more noticeable and they were so prevalent that they were JARRING AND GLARINGLY OBVIOUS. By the end of 6A, viewers were wondering what happened. The showrunner (KR) said in an interview that they were trying new pairings which was fine but hindsight is usually 20/20 and when I started analyzing the scenes that didn’t include one of them, it kind of seemed like she may have been telling a half truth. I mentioned how storylines and pairings were affected in a post I did in November 2022 but now I believe their absences or the lack of mentioning the other one was INTENTIONAL.
Buck and/or Eddie not being present bothered me and I wanted to know why but I didn’t research it until recently because of the way season 6 ended. With the way TM (the OG showrunner) has been releasing and rereleasing photos of Buddie and Bathena for the last few weeks, I believed their absences in season 6 became too glaring for me to continue ignoring them. For Buck and Eddie to be drastically removed from each other’s lives had to be on purpose and IMO, it was done so the audience would realize how them not being with each other didn’t make sense. Let’s be real, regardless as to whether a viewer ships Buck and Eddie as a romantic couple, their presence in each other’s lives and the Buckley-Diaz family’s dynamic has become a staple on the show and when they’re not included, people notice. Everyone knows how close they are so for them to be separated and viewers along with journalists writing about it was perplexing to say the least.
Before I delve into this, please understand these are MY OBSERVATIONS AND INTERPRETATIONS of the things I noticed during season 6, therefore, it’s ok if someone doesn’t agree. Everyone interprets media differently so it’s ok for two differences of an opinion to coexist without someone trying to force their thoughts onto the other person.
Now back to our regularly scheduled programming.
I believe it all started with the scene below when Eddie asked, “Buck! Where the hell you going?” because their absences started right after it and they continued through the early part of 6B.
In 6x4, Buck was off work while Bobby, Chimney and Eddie were all at work but there was no explanation given as to why Buck was off. Everyone knows Buck loves being at the firehouse especially since he filed a lawsuit to get back to the team after the ladder truck explosion (whether he was right or wrong in filing the lawsuit will not be discussed here. It happened more than four years ago and I’ve moved on from it). He wasn’t sick so it’s not like he used a sick day but maybe he used a personal day or he used some PTO time but either way, the audience wasn’t told why he wasn’t with the 118.
He went to Hen’s house to discuss Connor's request for him to be his sperm donor but since she was on leave, no explanation was needed for why she wasn’t at work. Reminder, Buck wasn’t on leave so he could have gone to her house to talk to her after their shift ended but he didn’t. His absence was noticeable especially since at the beginning of the episode, he was sitting at the other end of the table alone and away from the group while Eddie, Chimney and Hen talked about Eddie disciplining Chris for skipping his science club meetings.
In 6x5, Eddie took Hoover the dog to Buck’s loft but the audience didn't see it. It was the only handoff that wasn't shown in CANON but the question is, why? What was the issue with the audience seeing Eddie give Buck the dog ? The only thing that makes narrative sense is they wanted viewers to not see it so they would notice. Interesting!
In 6x7, Eddie didn't mention Buck at all when he told Felisa about Chris being lost in the Tsunami but once again the question is why? Everyone who watched 3x1-3x3 knows Eddie took Chris to visit "His Buck" that day and Eddie showed Hen and Chimney a selfie of Buck and Chris while they were on a call. In the photo, Buck and Chris were at breakfast earlier eating pancakes. Also, after the first wave hit, we know Buck saved Chris and they got separated so Eddie’s scene with Felisa was another glaringly obvious one where Buck wasn’t mentioned and it had to have been done for a reason. Reminder, Eddie told Felisa “My wife died… and six months later my son was on the pier when the Tsunami hit.” Well, Chris wasn’t there alone so 👀.
In 6x8, Buck was missing when Eddie and Chris were getting ready for Chris' first school dance. Carla was there but it was kind of off putting and it seemed like she shouldn’t have been the one Eddie was talking to the same way she shouldn’t have been talking to him in 5x10 when he was preparing to leave the 118. If they didn’t want Buck there, then it could have easily been a father and son moment between Eddie and Chris especially since she didn't do anything but say she thought it was Chris' first crush after they went into the kitchen. It was only one of the two episodes she was in for the entire season, so what gives?
Later in the episode, Eddie ended up telling Buck and the 118 about it anyway and based on Buck’s reaction, it's likely Chris had already told Buck about his crush (post linked here).
In 6x10, Eddie was present and at the firehouse while Buck and Chimney cleaned the fire engine and the ladder truck. He was on the floor throwing a baseball with Hen.
But Eddie was missing from the call when a lightning strike hit the car and the woman gave birth but reminder, the scene happened after he was AT THE FIREHOUSE with everyone else. It's possible he could have been man behind but the point is he was missing. Also, why was he missing? Buck helped Bobby with the baby and Bobby had to call Hen and Chimney over for assistance which means Eddie’s help as a medic was needed for all three victims but it was kind of like the show wanted him to be absent so the viewers would notice and we did.
In 6x11, Eddie was only in Buck’s coma dream at the beginning when Daniel told him the next time he goes up a ladder, he should have someone to have his back and Buck said he did. Other than that initial interaction, Eddie WASN'T there and his absence was glaringly obvious.
In 6x13, Eddie was M.I.A. twice. The first time was after a call that he went to with Buck and Hen. It was the one where the couple misplaced a "toy".
Chimney wasn't on the call with them but when they were leaving work and Buck was calling all the women he slept with to see if he satisfied them (which was 🙄 I don’t even have words), Eddie wasn't there but Chimney was. But the question once again is why? Could it be the show was making a point since Buck had just had a conversation with a victim’s husband about an article he read that stated 80% of women aren’t satisfied by their partners (related post about Buck’s woodworking skills linked here)?
In 6x13, Eddie wasn’t at the loft while Buck and Chris were baking cookies and it appears to be a call back to 5x3 when AF was caring for Chris during the blackout (related post linked here). Reminder, AF left a mess in Eddie’s kitchen but Buck’s kitchen was clean and organized while him and Chris were baking cookies for Chris’ whole class. They even talked about cooking the steaks Buck and Eddie won while they played poker for dinner.
What was the reason for all of this?
Initially I, like many others was pissed at the lack of Buck and Eddie, Buck, Eddie and Chris and Buckley-Diaz Family scenes in 6A. I’m still annoyed by it but like I mentioned above, hindsight is 20/20 so it’s possible the show was trying to get the audience to realize how important they are in each other’s lives by omitting them from specific and important scenes.
Did they do a good job of illustrating it? NO!
They could have done it differently like a lot of other things but the season ended messily and by then it was too late to change it.
The point of this post is whenever Buck and Eddie are absent, it's noticeable and it can't be denied. KR said they were mixing up the dynamics (related post linked here) but that can't be it because in 6x9 Hen ended up talking to her best friend Chimney about the way she was feeling about Denny wanting to meet Nathaniel after Eddie and Buck dropped off their four-way call, so she wasn't telling the whole truth.
Could their absences be a coincidence? No. Why?
Because in 6x7 Athena said she didn't believe in them and in 5x17 Karen said once is a mistake, two times is a coincidence and three times is a pattern. Well, their absences happened more than three times so Buck and Eddie missing in action from each other's lives was a pattern in season 6 and it seems to have been done on purpose.
It appears the omittances of Buck and Eddie from specific scenes in season 6 was in preparation for season 7 but the question is, will anything come of them? Who knows except for the showrunner (TM), the writers, producers and the actors and actresses so we shall see.
#buddie#eddie diaz#evan buckley#christopher diaz#the buckley diaz family#buckley diaz family#911 on abc#911 abc#911 meta#911 season 6 speculation#911 season 7#911 season 7 speculation#911 speculation
76 notes
·
View notes
Text
7x05 Buddie Meta YDKM Part 3 (of 4)
Part 1. Part 2. Part 4.
Eddie. I cannot stress this enough. If this was a partner that you actually had a good relationship with, you could go home and talk to them, tell them your feelings. Hell, you should feel safe enough just to say, "hey, I don't feel like having sex right now" and your partner should be able to accept it.
Why does the idea of saying no to sex terrify Eddie? There is a stigma that men are always supposed to want sex, and when they don't, that automatically means something's wrong, either with the man or with their partner. A lot of women might think they're the problem. One could argue maybe he doesn't want Marisol to feel bad, but if that was the case, then he would be doing his damndest to reassure her that he just needs a minute with the nun thing and not to take it personally. Instead, he avoids her, doesn't respond to her messages, and now--looks very panicked at the idea of her possibly trying to initiate sex with him. Which is kind of hilarious because what makes you think she even wants to have sex with you right now after you've been avoiding her all day?
This is another interesting line because it suggests that Eddie finds sex to be a chore. An obligation. Something he must provide his partner in order to keep them satisfied, and something that he's always done just to please his partner. I'm not saying he gets no pleasure from sex with women, but it doesn't feel to me like sex is really something Eddie really likes all that much just for himself if it's something "he'll get through somehow." I understand that this is a joke on Buck's end, but it's still written into the show on purpose, and sometimes jokes are just ways to cover up speaking the truth.
I want to talk some more now about Perception, specifically how both Buck and Eddie felt perceived this episode in ways that made them uncomfortable. For Buck, he was experiencing for the first time what it feels like for the world at large to perceive him as a queer man. Seeing eyes everywhere when no one was really watching. And for Eddie, it's the same, except instead of society perceiving him it's God. Both society and "God" are both entities that are known to be judgemental overall. But my question is, why does Eddie feel judged for sleeping with a woman who never even made the final steps to become a nun?
Buck is right, if God is an omniscient presence he would've always been watching, so why now does the idea of an All Powerful Being perceiving Eddie having relations with a woman terrify him so much? Is he afraid of "someone" knowing what actually runs through his head when he's being intimate with a woman? Is he ashamed that he's not actually as into it as he appears to be? Maybe now that the catholic guilt has been brought back up in Eddie consciousness, the thoughts are spilling through, and he's not able to stop them this time, and he's scared that someone, God, or society, or whoever, will see that he's not actually as into women as he wants people to believe. All of this is something I don't think he's realized. It's just as much unconscious to him as Buck's bisexuality was to him last episode. But something is bound to happen that finally clarifies it for Eddie.
He comes to the conclusion that he has to break up with her. But when confronted, he says he doesn't actually want to break up with her. Why? Because she just moved in. Not because he "really likes her" or because "he wants to build a life with her" or because "he wants her there" or because "he wants a relationship with her", it's because it's inconvenient because she just moved in and it makes him look bad (honey, far too late). He doesn't actually want to be with Marisol, he just likes the idea of cohabitating because it gives the illusion of a family without actually having to put any effort into building and strengthening it. This is exactly like how in the scene previous, he admits to Bobby that he liked being married, not necessarily that he loved Shannon. He just loved being married to her. This is the exact same thing.
This showcases Eddie's fundamental misunderstanding of both Tommy AND Buck. He has his blinders on the entire episode, and he walks a fine line between just misunderstanding or being willfully ignorant. The same way he doesn't see Buck and Tommy's queerness is in my opinion, the same way he doesn't see his own queerness.
Eddie's facial expressions here--Gosh, hats OFF to Ryan!! He really looked like he was shaken to the core. Especially his face in the last still. You can tell he did not see it coming at all. Because for "manly men" like Eddie, Buck, and Tommy, he's probably never even thought of it being a possibility for people like them.
This is especially evident when his first thought is not of Buck being queer, but of Tommy. And I don't think this is because he's surprised more about Tommy, or is not putting enough emphasis on Buck. I think it's more so that Eddie is aware that Tommy and he have A LOT in common, so much so that Eddie probably heavily identified with Tommy, and to have this part of Tommy be something so "different" from what Eddie expected is more shocking to him in the moment. Because if a man like Tommy (Eddie's narrative mirror) is queer, then what does that say about Eddie? I think that's why his first thought is about Tommy.
It might also be because it's easier for Eddie to process Tommy's queerness in the moment than it is for him to process Buck's queerness. In the same way that Buck was so unsure of why he was so hesitant to tell Eddie, Eddie might be struggling to comprehend Buck's queerness and what that means for them and their relationship without appearing to be unsupportive.
Additionally, it's interesting that Tommy's queerness never came up in conversation since it seemed like Tommy and Eddie got pretty close and "clicked" in a very short period of time. Is it possible Tommy is supposed to contrast Buck here? Buck says "Tommy just doesn't offer that information up". Maybe Tommy is also aware of how supposed "straight" men react when they learn that someone like him is into men. It provides an interesting contrast to Buck, who was so anxious about telling Eddie because he worried about how it would affect their relationship in particular, whereas Tommy just opted not to tell him at all just because he doesn't tell people unless they ask.
Buck asks if this is weird for Eddie, but Buck is aware that Eddie is not a homophobic person, and therefore wouldn't need to be worried (like Tommy could've been since he's only just met them both three weeks ago). Buck's known Eddie for six years, he knows Eddie knows plenty of queer people and has never had an adverse reaction to them. But this is personal because Buck knows that he's one of, if not the closest adult in Eddie's life. If Eddie is uncomfortable with Buck, it ruins their entire...everything. This says to me that Buck knew that by telling Eddie about this something would change, but he just doesn't know what.
I told myself if Eddie said any statements in this episode along this line, anything that felt like it was in the same vein as "no homo" that it would signal to me immediately that they were going to go there with Eddie's sexuality storyline, and this counts for me.
Eddie, it should be a given that you don't like Tommy in the same Buck does. No one in the room is accusing Eddie of being queer, and yet he says this all on his own for no reason other than to purposefully distance himself from queerness. All of which point to internalized homophobia. A person who was secure in their straight sexuality would not feel the need to clarify that they are straight (making it a bit about yourself there, huh, Eddie?) immediately after a close loved one just came out to you.
This is not a scenario where someone's coming on to Eddie and he has to say "no, sorry I'm not into men." This isn't someone asking him point blank, "are you gay?" and he says no. Nowhere in this conversation was there anything that Buck said that could've made Eddie feel like he was also being accused of queerness and yet Eddie feels the need to make it known that is in fact, not gay.
Eddie, a confident straight man, should understand that this convo is about Buck's queerness, not whether or not Eddie is being perceived as queer. This coming right after he looked so shocked about Tommy, when the last two episodes spent a lot of time painstakingly telling us that HEY! HEY! EDDIE AND TOMMY ARE SUPER ALIKE!
Eddie. My guy. Your queer realization arc is coming and of that I am certain.
This line read to me in the same way as the line in 7x01: "but with only one [gender] is there underlying sexual tension". This line, spoken by Buck, was disproven in episode 4. This line here from Eddie is put there to eventually be challenged. This line has two meanings, which is that of course the foundation of their friendship will not change because of Buck's queerness, but it does signal to the audience that some part of their relationship will change. What could that be? The only thing that makes sense at this point in the story is for the romantic aspect of their storyline to finally be explored. I think this is foreshadowing that story that's likely going to come at some point down the line. I don't know if it'll be this season, but it's going to come, of that I'm sure now.
Bucktommy as a direct parallel to Eddiemarisol is so interesting because whereas with Buck you can tell that he genuinely has interest in Tommy, it's heavily juxtaposed by how uninterested in Marisol Eddie has acted pretty much since the second they got together in season 6. Even Eddie's face here looks like he's thinking "wish I knew what that felt like". Don't get me wrong, I do think that Eddie wants a real connection, but I think he thinks that if he just stays with a woman for long enough one will just develop through proximity alone. But that's not how relationships work. It didn't work with Shannon and their relationship continued to be dysfunctional until the day she died. It didn't work with Ana, but that time, his physical reactions were enough to get him to break up with her. With Marisol, I think Eddie's at his patience end. He doesn't want to give up and be alone again. Or worse, have to start trying all over again. He doesn't want to fail again, because failing this time not only means failing himself but failing Christopher as well.
We just saw in 7x01 that Christopher believed that it wouldn't matter what he did, people (girlfriends in this case) would always leave. Christopher learned this from Eddie. Eddie deciding to stick it out with Marisol is both him desperately trying to grasp onto the possibility of a connection, but also a way to prove to himself and to Christopher that not all relationships have to end.
But in this case, Eddie's advice makes sense for Buck, because he's literally in the early stages of this relationship with Tommy, he's still trying to get to know Tommy, and he's trying to adjust to queerness for the first time in his life. For Eddie, this is at minimum a 4-6 month old relationship, one that he's just randomly decided to take "to the next level" and he did all of this without bothering to get to know Marisol AT ALL. That ENTIRE time. While it's true that Buck hasn't yet had a chance to figure it out what it is with Tommy, Eddie has had many chances before but has chosen not to take them. And I think when faced with the reality that he would giving up on yet another relationship, the prospect of failing yet again, he decides to go against what his gut is telling him and stays with Marisol.
I love that Eddie realized before he left that Buck needed physical assurance and gave it to him. This is their first hug in many seasons and it's a beautiful one. Eddie puts his thumb on Buck's pulse yet again, and I'm sure that was a very reassuring thing to feel, to know that Eddie still cares that deeply for him. He even puts his finger up and tells Buck to call Tommy, showing his support for Buck's relationship with Tommy, which was never a question that he would do. Because it's no question that Eddie loves Buck to the core, and he will always want Buck to be happy. He just hasn't figured out that his own happiness is possible specifically with Buck.
This entire scene also was physically blocked very similar to the scene in the episode right before, the scene that ended with Tommy kissing Buck. The only difference here was the topic of conversation and the fact that it ended in a hug and not a kiss. Buck lets out a sigh of relief as Eddie leaves, exactly the same way he let out a sign of relief after realizing his attraction to men.
Marisol's possessions in this episode have been a metaphor for who she is. Eddie's choice to look in the boxes at the beginning of the episode was him finally dipping his toe into learning who she is and he was uncomfortable with what he saw there, not because of Marisol, but because it reminded him that he's not being true to himself in this relationship. And now, he's given another chance here at the end. Marisol's metaphorical box is open, and an invitation for Eddie to take to get to know her more, and instead of wanting to get to know her, he says he "doesn't want to know what's in there". He admits that not only does he not know Marisol, but he doesn't WANT to get to know her.
In the same way, Eddie doesn't know the truth of who he is, he doesn't want to find out the truth. He doesn't want to open the pandora's box inside him and wade through the shit until he finds the tiny little bit of hope. Eddie would rather close the box and leave it closed and keep this relationship with Marisol going rather than try to dig deeper to figure out the real reason why this whole issue happened.
Marisol's reasons for not telling Eddie about the nun thing herself are understandable. She was worried about judgment, rejection, or possible fetishization. It makes sense to me why Eddie, in the end, was able to ask for just a minute to digest it. I think he realized that in the end, the nun thing isn't the whole dealbreaker here, it's something else. Something he's not willing to examine at this time. And since he's realized that the problem isn't Marisol, but him, he can move past the weirdness, and accept Marisol.
Because it's not Marisol he's accepting or rejecting, but the promise of a continued relationship in the future.
Marisol offers him a chance to back out, and you can tell that his first instinct (his "gut" reaction) is to take it. And yet....he adds a "yet". He keeps her on the hook, and he ignores the signs his gut is telling him. In an episode written partially by Taylor Wong who laid all the same "the universe is screaming" and "I do not panic" story threads, Eddie is once again ignoring them and going against his gut despite what he says next.
Eddie tells Marisol that he tends to rush his relationships, and this is true. Despite Eddie being so stubborn and hard to get to know most of the time when it comes to his romantic relationships, he over-commits. I've already talked about how he did the same thing with all of his relationships, including Shannon. He over-commits and under-delivers. I'm glad that they're pointing this out textually in canon because it's true and it's a large part of the issue, even though the root of it is not yet being explored.
However, him saying he "goes with his gut" and lets his head catch up later, is both a true and false statement. When it comes to his romantic relationships Eddie purposely ignores his gut, each and every time. When his gut tells him that he shouldn't bring Shannon back into his life, he ignores it (though this situation is a bit more nuanced). When his gut tells him something's wrong with his relationship with Ana, he says he's going to stick it out anyway. When his gut tells him to end things with Marisol, he doubles down.
The true part of this statement is that he lets his head catch up later. But the thing is that when his body tries to show him later on that something is wrong, whether that be through panic attacks or sexual dysfunction, he continues to ignore it or refuses to dig into it deeper. He still hasn't confronted the truth of his unhealthy relationship with Shannon. He didn't examine why his relationship with Ana didn't work, and he's not questioning himself deeply enough to ask why he's so deeply uncomfortable in his relationship with Marisol.
One thing is for sure, Eddie is an unreliable narrator. He has a hard time understanding his feelings let alone communicating them, and therefore whenever he says statements like these, I think it's worth it to always question it. Does it actually feel like he's telling the truth from a place of understanding, or from a place of what he wishes he could feel?
Go to part four (last part).
Part 1, Part 2, Part 4
50 notes
·
View notes
Note
For the Spotify ficlet: buddie aaaand number 2? :)
hello, and thank you! i return 3 months late, bearing fic. number 2 was the funeral by band of horses, so please enjoy this odd little meditation about eddie and grief and second chances
to know me as hardly golden
1631 words | buddie | emotional hurt/comfort, pre-relationship
-
Eddie is six years old when he attends his first funeral. A great-aunt, on his dad's side—he has a vague memory of a frail white-haired woman with hugs that smelled like baby powder. His abuela was the youngest of her siblings by far, and he remembers her standing in the sunlight by the gravesite, iron-gray hair neatly pinned back, eyes dry, mouth pressed to a thin flat line as she watched her sister's coffin sink slowly into the earth.
At six, he doesn't really understand it. But he understands enough to hug her, and he feels her press a kiss to the crown of his head and murmur, Eddito, Eddito, in a soft, shaking voice.
It's an old, hazy memory. He's surprised he's hung onto it this long, but it lingers even now that he's lost count of the number of funerals he's been to. Shannon's should have been the one that hurt the worst, but the truth is he barely remembers it; he moved through that entire day like a wind-up toy, dazed and distant, registering almost nothing other than Christopher.
He didn't attend the funerals of any of the people he saved in Afghanistan, because there weren't supposed to be funerals. That was supposed to be the one thing that made it all worth it—ruining his marriage and missing his son's first steps, the nightmares and the guilt and everything else he stomped down into a deep dark hole where he'd never have to look at it. At least, he always told himself, at least there were four people living in the world who wouldn't be here if it weren't for him.
It takes a while to get past that one, after he learns the truth. A smashed-up wall, a frightened son, and a lot of therapy. A week of Buck sleeping on his couch and wishing he had the courage to ask him to share the bed. Not in the way he sometimes half let himself imagine, but just to have another person there. The solidity of a living breathing body, a person he loves, a person he can still keep safe.
In the hospital after the lightning strike, he haunts the hallways like a ghost, watching his family come in and out of Buck's room, unable to make himself come any closer. He can't stop imagining the funeral: Maddie's white face, the woodenness of Margaret and Phillip Buckley. Bobby and Hen and Chimney. Christopher. He can't stop imagining what Buck might look like in a casket, how much like the way he looks now: silent and white and still in a way that Buck never is.
Buck wakes up, and Eddie hugs him and teases him and lets him sleep on his couch, and he doesn't shove all the rest of it into a deep dark hole because he knows better than that now.
But it lingers, like a wound. Like something he doesn't know how to touch, to handle, to even think about let alone talk about. He moves around it, mostly. He lets Buck cheat at cards and cook him steak and ramble about bioluminescent octopuses from the latest wildlife documentary he watched, and he doesn't say, I imagined going to your funeral.
Buck knows, is the thing. That fear, that lingering directionless grief, Buck knows it. He's careful with Eddie, as if Eddie's the one who was wounded, and it would irk him more if he didn't remember being careful with Buck after the shooting in exactly the same way.
It's a terrible thing to understand about a person, but the alternative would be worse.
It doesn't come to a head so much as unravel the night after a bad shift a few months later, Buck sleeping on his couch even though he's never stopped complaining about how uncomfortable it is, because it's better than being alone. If Eddie were a better person, maybe he'd protest.
(If Eddie were less of a coward, maybe he'd ask Buck to share his bed. He's not even sure what he's so afraid of: at this point, he thinks it'd be a relief if Buck could see through him to the love he's been bleeding out for months or maybe years now. But he remembers Buck so quiet and still in that hospital bed, and he remembers the feel of Buck's chest unmoving beneath his hands, and the words strangle themselves in his throat every time.)
It's a dream that brings him out into the living room in the dark of night, or half a dream, anyway. Half a memory. The night Buck started breathing on his own, Maddie called him, and he woke up immediately and almost let the call go to voicemail, because if she was calling to tell him that Buck was dead then at least there'd be a few minutes more when he didn't know.
He answered, anyway, and Maddie was crying, and it took Eddie several gut-lurching seconds to figure out that they were good tears.
He wakes up now with the echo of his phone's ringtone in his ears, and fumbles it to him, half-asleep and chilled, to stare at the empty screen for several minutes before he realizes that it must have been a dream.
He swears under his breath, puts the phone down, drops his head back against the pillow.
Probably, he should just close his eyes and try to go back to sleep. That's what he usually does, albeit with extremely mixed results. It's not like he's going to call Buck in the middle of the night and wake him up just to reassure Eddie's sleep-scrambled brain that he's still alive.
But Buck is here, and Eddie is a weak man, when it comes down to it. He shoves his feet into his chanclas and makes his quiet way through the house, pausing first at Christopher's door—his noise machine is quiet now, his breathing heavy and peaceful—before heading into the living room. Buck is sprawled across the couch, long limbs everywhere, the throw blanket he always sleeps under tangled between his legs. Eddie's got a painfully affectionate impulse to tug it loose and drape it over him properly, but instead he lingers in the doorway, watching Buck's chest rise and fall, his soft, steady snoring. If he turned the light on, he knows that Buck's skin would be pink and healthy, aside from the minor bruising where the hydraulic rescue tool slipped and whacked him across the arm at that multi-car pileup that kept them out an hour past the end of their shift.
Buck's already been checked over. He's fine; he wasn't even wincing on the ride back home. Eddie stays where he is anyway, watching Buck breathe for several quiet minutes, until Buck shifts on the couch, brings a hand up to rub clumsily at his face, and mumbles, "You gonna just loom in the doorway all night, or what?"
"Sorry," Eddie says, flushing. "I didn't mean to wake you up."
"It's okay." Buck levers himself upright, yawning, before Eddie can tell him not to. On the couch, he hunches over, rubbing at his eyes, then blinks up at Eddie with such sleepy affection that something twists sharply in Eddie's chest. "Come on. Come sit down."
Eddie takes a breath, then lets it out, then crosses the living room to sit on the other side of the couch. Buck turns toward him; his knee bumps Eddie's thigh, and he doesn't pull away.
"Hey," he says.
"Hey," Eddie says back, and he finally exhales quiet laughter. Buck's just looking at him with a crooked little smile on his face, sympathetic eyes, like he knows exactly what brought Eddie out to the living room.
"You wanna check my vitals?" he asks.
His tone is teasing, soft. And it's that, maybe, or it's the quiet and the dark and the way that Buck still hasn't moved away, that has Eddie reaching across the space between them to press his fingers to the side of Buck's throat. Warm skin, faint stubble, and Buck's pulse beneath that, strong and steady. He can feel it when Buck swallows.
"Better?" he whispers.
Eddie nods. It is better. Proof of life, in the most basic of senses. The way Buck is looking at him, intent and knowingly fond in the shadowed living room, is better still.
"You want to talk about it?" Buck asks, still quiet.
Eddie shakes his head. "Tomorrow?"
"Sure."
"I'm sorry." He's not really checking Buck's pulse anymore. His hand shifts, flattens, until what he's doing is a lot more like cupping Buck's jaw the way he would, maybe, before leaning in for a kiss.
Buck's hand comes up to cover his, warm and steady. Alive, alive. "It's okay."
"No, just—it's late."
"Yeah. Still."
Eddie almost leans in. Almost. He's pretty sure at this point that Buck would let him. But they only get one first kiss, and he doesn't want it to taste like fear, even if that is fading now. He rubs his thumb against the edge of Buck's jaw, and suddenly finds that he can say the words after all. "Would you come back to bed with me tonight?"
Buck's smile takes on a mischievous tilt, and Eddie sighs. "Just to sleep."
"Sure."
"I mean it."
"Okay," Buck says. He squeezes Eddie's hand. "Yeah. Just to sleep, for now. But later…?"
Eddie swallows hard. Cards are already on the table. He's still cupping Buck's face like a lover would. It's too late to backtrack, and he doesn't actually want to anyway. "Later, yeah."
"Cool," Buck says, like a dork. His smile turns bashful, and he hesitates, then turns Eddie's hand to brush a light but definite kiss to the back of his knuckles. "I'm good with later."
#911#911 fic#buddie#buddie fic#eddie diaz#evan buckley#prompt fic#my fic#i'm sorry this is SO LATE lmao
74 notes
·
View notes
Text
The promo for next week is what made it clear that Buck is regressing regressing. All that bullshit he's suggesting to Chim? All those proposals that Bobby (correctly) said were just a list of potential calls?
That's Season 1 Buck talking. That's Early Abby Days, pre She Needs You To Step Inside With Her Buck who wants love and romance but doesn't know what it's supposed to look like. That's a version of Buck who isn't ready for something quite so grown up.
Our Buck, Season 6 Buck, knows better than that. He knows Chimney and he knows Maddie and if he stopped and thought about it for half a second he would realize that a big showy proposal isn't right for them. He'd realize that the right approach is something more personal, more intimate. It's Chimney sitting Maddie down and saying, 'we both know there are plenty of reasons we "should" get married, but let me take a minute to make sure you understand the reasons I want to marry you', and giving Maddie space to express all the reasons she's hesitant rather than putting her on the spot with something public that pressures her into saying yes without a conversation.
Buck's been different since the lightning strike, sure. It was a big event, it had a profound psychological effect. But I think the bigger issue here is that Buck has been growing and changing and maturing for the past 6 seasons and he hasn't had a chance yet to properly acknowledge that to himself and update his self-concept. I think the reason we're seeing Buck regress so hard is because he's consciously trying to act like "the same old Buck", but his understanding of "what it means to be Buck" hasn't kept up with the growth he's been doing.
At the gravesite, Buck says he feels like Natalia "really sees him" - which, let's be real, is an insane thing to say about a person you've just met on a good day. And he's saying it to Eddie, who the writers have made abundantly clear is the one person who most sees Buck and understands him and has seen his growth and his insecurities even when others don't.
But the thing I think Buck is getting from Natalia is actually the opposite of what Buck thinks he's getting from her. When Buck says "she sees me", he means "She only sees this me. She doesn't know the man who died, just the man who woke up again."
And while there is some value in that, mostly in allowing himself to be his "now" self without worrying about how it might or might not align with his past self, I think Buck also needs someone who can help him understand that those two versions of himself are closer to each other than he thinks. And the version of himself he's trying to be for the sake of everyone else (ie "the same old Buck") is not the version of him that his loved ones lost at the top of that ladder.
The lightning strike changed Buck - after all, how could it not? And Buck, being someone who is so used to being left behind, is naturally worried that changing who he is will cause the people he loves to leave. But that isn't something Buck needs to be afraid of, because he's been changing for a long time now and he has people who love every version of him, and will continue to love every version that comes next.
And I keep thinking about that choice to have Christopher fall asleep on the couch just like Buck did, the way it puts Christopher and Buck in the same category for Eddie - that category of "family" and "home". Because Christopher is changing too. He's growing up. The man he is going to slowly become is not the same person as the boy he is now, and it is understood that while some of that growth might be painful it is normal and natural and to be expected. And there is not a single direction in which Christopher could grow that would make Eddie love him even a little bit less.
When Buck realizes that Eddie loves him the same way? That there is no version of Buck that Eddie will not love with his whole heart? And when he doesn't just realize it, but actually believes it?
That's the endgame, baby.
254 notes
·
View notes
Text
Seven Sentence Sunday 🌸
tagged by @wikiangela @jesuisici33 @hippolotamus @giddyupbuck thank you 💕💕💕💕
Should I work on my wips? yes. Did I start new wip? also yes
New wip with tattoo artist Eddie and florist Buck 💕 + mood board
bouquet Buck made for Eddie in snippet
It's way more when seven but I just will post all snippet I wrote rn:
Five minutes after Eddie opens his shop, he hears doors open and he comes from his office to see a tall muscular man in a white hoodie and black jeans, the man smiles when sees him and Eddie feels like he should put on a pair of sunglasses to protect his eyes, the smile makes the whole face of a strange look so cute and his birthmark near the eyes make him cuter. But what makes Eddie stare at the man with a shocked face it’s not the way he looks, but the big bouquet in his hands.
Eddie’s bad at flowers, so he can’t name it but the bouquet looks incredible and it looks quite expensive.
“Can I help you?” after some minutes of just looking at the strange Eddie finally understood he should start talking.
“Hey, I’m Buck. I work in the flower shop, well, it’s actually my shop, not like I actually like when people know I’m the owner cause I love to work as just a florist myself, but,” Eddie thinks it’s cute how this stranger rambles when he’s shy.
“Anyway. I was dying to know who bought this shop and was sometimes driving me crazy with renovation, even though I of course understand you needed it. So I wanted to meet you and give you this,” Buck passes the bouquet to him. “Welcome to our neighborhood,” Buck smiles again. "I really hope you don't have allergy or it would be awkward."
“Oh, thank you, Buck, and no, no allergy. I’m Eddie by the way. And I'm the owner here too,” Eddie smiles back and he finally understands one thing. “You brought flowers in the vase?”
Buck’s cheeks are red again and he tilts his head slightly to the side, which makes Eddie think about cute puppies.
“Yeah, I-I wasn’t sure if you have one here so I just took one I sale as well. So now when I will send you flowers I know you have one.
“You’re gonna send more?” Eddie smiles and raises his eyebrow.
“I-I think yes. On the anniversary of the shop, on your birthday if you will tell me the date eventually. Yeah, I think I’m gonna,” Buck tilts his head again. “I need to come back to my shop, but maybe you want to have lunch at Bobby’s? It’s a cafe across the street. Bobby is an amazing chef and he has discounts for owners of shops around.”
“Yeah, I would love it. My lunch break is at 12 o'clock ” Eddie doesn’t know what to tell him to get any chance to know Buck better, but he is going to trust this voice.
“Cool, mine too, I’ll see you Eddie,” Buck goes to his shop, but he turns to Eddie before exiting the shop and smiles again.
Eddie really should buy sunglasses.
Tagging if they want to share : @honestlydarkprincess @911onabc @ebdaydreamer @alyxmastershipper @transbuck @cowboy-buddie @lover-of-mine @heartshapedvows @bekkachaos @rogerzsteven @the-likesofus @barbiediaz @buddierights @housewifebuck @thewolvesof1998 @wildlife4life @transboybuckley @devirnis @loserdiaz @buck-coded @spotsandsocks @monsterrae1 @spaceprincessem @userdisaster @caroandcats @mandzuking17 @translasso @bigfootsmom @jeeyuns @forthewolves and anyone who wants to share
#buddie#buddie wip#evan buckley#eddie diaz#evan buck buckley#tattoo artist Eddie/ florist Buck#my wips
116 notes
·
View notes
Text
There’s something calling to him, over the smoke and flames, the people and pavement—a hint of the most delectable smell Eddie’s ever had the pleasure of inhaling.
He rises to his feet, faintly aware of Hen calling to him, but it’s a distant concern. Inconsequential.
He follows his nose, stumbling a little over the uneven sections of pavement as he goes, and he’s there’s some primal, instinctive part of him that’s utterly surprised to find Buck at the other end of that mouthwatering scent.
Buck. Of course it’s Buck.
As if feeling Eddie’s eyes on him, Buck glances up from where he’s talking quietly with Bobby, helmet tucked under one arm. His expression brightens, a smile stretching across that gorgeous face.
“Eds!” he says, lifting a hand like he needs to catch Eddie’s attention. Like every molecule of his being isn’t singularly focused on that which is Evan Buckley. “Looks like we’re good to— Whoa!”
Buck smells so fucking good, Eddie notes with a happy sigh, craning to tuck his nose into the space behind Buck’s ear. It’s fucking unfair, is what it is, that he’s been keeping it to himself all this time, hoarding it away when he should know better.
Should know that it’s Eddie’s.
He shifts closer, lifting up on his tiptoes so he can press his mouth to Buck’s jaw, can drag his lips down his neck and shove his face against the hollow of his throat.
Buck makes a noise—low and rough and ragged—and a muscular arm wraps around his waist.
“Eddie,” he says, and god his voice. “What—?”
He wants to shove himself into Buck’s turnout coat right alongside him and live there for the next forever, wants to wear that toasted-cinnamon-sunshine scent like a second skin.
Wants to lap up the taste of it off of Buck’s throat.
“Chim!” Buck yells. “Chim, something’s wrong with Eddie!”
…..
And Eddie knows he’s a possessive, jealous son of a bitch even when he’s not high on inducers, so it’s no surprise to any of them that his hackles are up immediately, his fists tightening around the lapels of Buck’s coat.
But it’s Buck—Buck who’s one of the kindest, gentlest Alphas Eddie’s ever met, Buck, who he’s never seen so much as flash his eyes at anyone, let alone pop a claw or drop his fangs—that bares his teeth snarls, rumbling and furious, cradling Eddie tight to his chest.
And it’s so impossibly hot that Eddie can feel himself getting slick in his pants.
“Buck,” Bobby says firmly. “Keep your head, kid. You don’t want to do anything either of you will regret.”
The next sound that Buck makes is high and wounded. His hands spasm against Eddie’s back, and then he’s taking two huge steps away, his heat—his presence—leaving all at once. Eddie whimpers at the loss.
“Shit, fuck, sorry,” Buck stammers. His entire face is flushed pink, the color creeping down his neck and disappearing under his collar. “You gotta get him outta here, Bobby, you gotta— I can’t—“
Eddie shakes off Hen’s hand and surges forward, plastering himself back against Buck’s front.
“No,” Eddie pleads, and Buck makes another one of those soft, throaty noises, like the air’s been punched out of him. “No, Buck, don’t leave, don’t—“
“Eds,” Buck says. “It’s— Bobby’s right, you’re not in control right now and—“ He lets out a loud exhale; Eddie feels his breath whisper over his hair. “—and I don’t want to hurt you.”
“You wouldn’t,” Eddie insists. “You’d never.”
“Never,” Buck agrees. “Which is why you gotta let me go, let Chim and Hen help you.”
“I don’t want them,” Eddie says. “I want you.”
Buck’s smile is more of a grimace, something horribly sad glinting behind his eyes. “No, you don’t.”
“Eddie,” Hen tries, carefully shuffling forward. “You’re medically compromised, you’re not thinking straight—“
“The only way Buck could hurt me right now is by leaving,” Eddie insists.
He doesn’t understand why none of them are listening. Eddie needs Buck: it’s the simplest fact there is.
“Don’t go,” Eddie continues, nuzzling at Buck’s neck, then leaning in to press a fluttering kiss to his pulse point. “Buck, please—“
Buck groans, a deep, guttural noise, and his hands land ever so gently on either side of Eddie’s rib cage.
“Eddie,” he says, voice tight. “You don’t know what you’re asking me.”
“I’m asking you to come home with me,” Eddie says. “I’m asking you to have my back.”
“Eds—“
“Buck,” Eddie says. “Evan. Come home.”
Buck’s eyes search his face and Eddie knows he’s looking for any hint of doubt or uncertainty. Eddie meets his gaze squarely, begging him to understand, to see.
“Are you even capable of consenting to anything right now?” Buck asks, to Eddie and to the world at large.
“Well, technically,” Chim starts.
“I’m still in my right mind,” Eddie says, and it’s true but he’s not sure if it will be for much longer. He’s hot all over, desire blistering up his spine, over his thighs, searing his skin, but for all that it's suddenly become as imperative as breathing, wanting Buck is nothing new.
If anything it’s become clearer, the feeling distilled down into its purest essence. He wants Buck now because he always wants Buck.
“I’m still me.”
Buck chews on his lip, resolve weakening.
“Please,” Eddie breathes.
#911 abc#buddie#911 abc fic#buddie fic#*editor's note#*the writing desk#bits & bobs#for the first time ever I’ve written something for a different fandom#I’m new here please be nice#step aside Jack Kelly there’s a new disaster bisexual in town#obviously this is a wip but I hope you enjoy anyway
23 notes
·
View notes
Text
I was asked so here’s some of my favorite post-lawsuit angst recs for you @keepingmyoptionsfluid
Never Say Never by @Buddiesmutslut
11,595 Words | Rated G | Complete
Athena Grant gets a call from the hospital on her day off, claiming that she needs to come in to discuss options for Buck, as his emergency contact.
A lot of information is reveled, and she finally understands what the boy she's come to see as her own has been through.
Or: Buck throws another clot, calls the 118 & Maddie out on their shit, lets Athena hold him as he cries, and then finally talks to Eddie.
I love this fic, I absolutely love angry!buck and the 118 getting the scolding they deserve
there are so many lines that I've crossed unforgiven (i'll tell you the truth, but never goodbye) by @generalbordomnstuff
19,393 Words | Rated T | Complete
Buck loves music. After the lawsuit, he finds the time to express everything that’s happened into song form, building a safety net of lyrical prose. What he doesn’t expect is that his music takes off, skyrocketing him to fame under the alias “Evan Buchanan”. When Bobby forces him to use all of his vacation time, he decides to embark on his North American tour. As his absence in the station grows, the 118 realize how much they ruined Buck. As Buck’s last performance at Dodger Stadium approaches, can the team rectify their mistakes?
I really like this one because it talks so much about how much the 118 hurt Buck (the mass amounts of Taylor Swift lyrics also help)
Think I Forgot How to Be Happy (Something I'm Not, But Something I Can Be) by @renalovestowrite
43,116 Words | Rated M | Complete
Buck should have seen this coming. He only has himself to blame. The lawsuit had been just another thing he can add to the list of impulsive things he has done…another way he caused pain to those he loves. Buck only wanted to get back to the job he loves and the people he found a family in. At the time, he thought hiring a lawyer and filing a lawsuit was the only way to go about getting back to where he belongs.
To not be left behind.
The hurtful, betrayed looks of his team, his family as his lawyer spoke nothing but the truth regarding how utterly different Buck was treated compared to his co-workers was enough to churn Buck’s stomach. He had to physically swallow down the nausea that threatened to escape as every single fact was laid out for all to bare. Nevermind that a majority of the information Buck’s lawyer used was a part of public record; information Mackey had dug up when Buck became hesitant on the amount of details he was asked to share.
I just love this fic. It’s basically “yeah buck sued you guys, Bobby was being a dick, and Buck was prey to that’s scummy lawyer” and I love it so much
A Last Minute Switch, A Lifetime of Relief by @GothRaven89
57,332 Words | Rated T | Complete
Buck is back at work but no longer back in the good graces of his family. Besides Hen, everyone else is still bearing a grudge, especially Bobby and Eddie. Buck decides to take a break and go out of town, but what happens when he comes back to find everything is chaos. A switch at the last second, human error, a switched off phone, and relationships forever changed.
This one hurts fair warning, but there is a happy ending. I really like it, the firefam thinks Buck is dead and realize they never got the chance to make things right.
A New Family by @Angelwingsoffire
124,717 Words | Rated M | Complete
After the lawsuit, Buck wanted to go back to work, back to his family, and put everything behind him. He knew things wouldn't be the same, but he did want them to be good. But they weren't. He wasn't welcome, he wasn't happy, and he didn't want to stay. So when an old friend gives him the chance at a new family, he takes it. Will his old family realize they fucked up?
This is 125k words of Buck choosing himself and his happiness (plus some Eddie groveling) and I love it more than anything
18 notes
·
View notes
Text
do i have more firefighter bullshit already? yea. we had kind of a way too much screen time kind of day and i literally could not watch encanto at the hollywood bowl one more time. it was a gamble, but luckily fire engines are a big hit in this household!
listen the funny thing about these christmas episodes is that my husband texted me a bit ago about working on a holiday saying that the other wives were looking for my phone number because they wanted to plan a dinner at the station and was like "unfortunately it's too late to pretend like you don't exist :("
(i didn't even end up getting texted because my husband ended up getting moved stations for that holiday because he was needed ~elsewhere)
if they don't want us to ship buddie, buddie should not be having deep conversations about their son.
and oh no!! eddie's leaving! (actually irl my understanding is that if a firefighter is married/has kids with another firefighter they do tend to have to work different shifts on account of the whole. 24 hour shift dealie and needing childcare for that. so if buddie ever were to get married that should be a consideration. it also adds a lot of extra strain on the relationship given you only see them like. 1/3 of the year.)
bobby all "my bosses want to know why i haven't filled the empty slots on my roster" and while. once again that's not bobby's job (it's the chief's & the city's) and i know we're waiting for eddie and chimney to come back, as a concerned taxpaying citizen who is paying taxes so that the city can provide me with public services such as the fire department i am also curious as to why one of the stations i'm paying the city for is not functioning at full capacity. will this affect anything if i need to utilize those services. inquiring minds need to know.
you know what fic needs to written. the one where a lady goes to a fire council meeting with facts and figures and statistics to ask these very important questions.
ah, eddie calling out bobby and telling him to go to hell. eddie you're so unwell right now, but i support you.
okay i am living for the lady buck kissed getting moved to the 118 because it reminds me so much of the scandal of these two people on my husband's department having an affair. whenever they were station they would have sex in the bathroom. there was technically no regulation against it. their coworkers knew what was going on. they would sit there like 😬😬😬 when the two would disappear.
the day it went public and the whole department found out was quite a day. my husband was on the phone for a loooong time gossiping. (see also: transfer day!)
albert's mustache!! finally someone has one <3
based on teeth jee-yun has to be about a year now, one would think.
okay boston is a very good episode. they did well. no snark. except maybe there seems to be a lot of stuff in that pack and play she was sleeping in. i guess if she's over a year it's not the worst.
i do think it's interesting that chimney's friend moved from the lafd to boston and got in there. it's my understanding that it's almost impossible to get on boston if you don't live there.
okay back to snark. 1) jee-yun is waaaay too big for that infant car seat. there needs to be at least an inch between the top of the carseat and the head of the child and she looks veery close (also, who has a one year old still in the bucket seat?? christ. that thing gets sooo heavy as they get older. just get the convertible, most babies start to find the bucket seat uncomfortable as they get bigger anyways) why are you feeding the baby in the car seat, sit her at the table 3) why is she strapped into the car seat and pleasant about when maddie is visiting buck. that baby should be screaming to get out and explore.
wait wait wait wait. taylor's supposedly the bad guy? buck kissed another woman, didn't cop to it and instead asked her to move in, then finally admitted to it and admitted that it was partially because of that. oh wait. i guess they get over that.
oh eddie. you are not doing well. i hate to admit bobby's right, ever, but you are not fit for duty as you are right now. (you'll get there one day <3. up to a third of firefighters develop ptsd.)
aw, albert lost the mustache and is quitting. tragic.
ah, i see. taylor wants to run the jonah story.
and wow..chimney has been through a lot. a lot. probably more than anyone else here.
ah, so this is why everyone hates taylor. for betraying the 118. and now, see. i understand that what she did was shitty journalistic ethics (you, don't say off the record and then decide to run the story anyways). but also in the day of multicounty scanner facebook pages, i guarantee even if the press and everyone else would have found out about 5 seconds later. and the fire department would have sent out an immediate press release with a preliminary newsbrief about the situation and cooperating with the authorities. anyways, slighty shitty but frankly buck's kiss was way more of a personal betrayal so i'm gonna call them even. buck is an adult. and taylor was right. he did know who she was when they started dating.
anyways, i am so excited for buck to die next season xxx (i hear he walks it off, it's k)
27 notes
·
View notes
Text
911 season 7 episode 4!! we've arrived!!
the only reason that i understand this long opening section is playing on the bachelor is that i've watched jarvis johnson talk about it before. thank you jarvis johnson.
the i'm taken but he's not scene. buck has a rule. eddie looks confused. hmmm.
fjdkf "hey joey." while watching the previous episode i said buck was bisexual character number 2 this season (after norman) but i may have been wrong. he's number 3, after norman and chimney.
i mean, admittedly i've never seen a single episode of the bachelor firsthand, but it seems to me like they'd LOVE for something like this to happen. nobody got seriously hurt, it's extremely dramatic and big, lots and lots and lots of free press - what could be better for reality tv?
buck is so pumped to be getting the tour!!
"i guess that night was the most fun i'd had since getting struck by lightning." "you need to raise your bar, kid." fjdkfd. lines that could have worked word for word in a katherine hepburn/cary grant screwball comedy.
fjdkfjdkfj he's just using getting struck by lightning as a point of reference! "ah." is the right response, i think, tommy.
he could give buck lessons if he wants!! honestly i could quote every line of this conversation as notable and fun. i'm having a ball watching this actually happen with audio, instead of looping chunks of a few seconds. (not that there's anything wrong with looping chunks of a few seconds. i love looping chunks of a few seconds, looping chunks of a few seconds are tumblr's liveblood.)
tommy has "something" (a person) "that" (who) should be arriving right now, actually. fjdkf. early practice for when eddie ends up crashing their date next episode
also, dear god, eddie's giant truck. forgot about that thing.
fjkdf. this poor man, watching his best friend and unknown crush fly off together. admittedly not into the sunset, but to vegas nonetheless
waffles!!! bobby and athena made it through a cruise on a sinking ship and now there's someone breaking into their home making waffles
harryyy. i was just thinking about him during the last episode!
ohhhh. he didn't just shoot up into the sky, that actually is a harry recast. interesting
okay, so apparently (x) marcanthonee reis was "sort of ready to move on". assuming that's true, fair enough - for anyone, but especially for a kid playing a role on tv.
ravi's "who's tommy?" is totally fair, and then he gets rewarded for his patience in being totally excluded from buck and eddie's weird jealous bff conversation by getting sent down a sewer. rough day, man
"both like watching half-naked men pummel each other" is certainly a set of words. it certainly is.
not for nothing, but is eddie blind, or is he just enjoying winding buck up a little, being at the center of some (as he would probably assume) friendship jealousy? because buck is. not being normal about this. at all.
buck thinking he's getting invited to the bar trivia thing and being asked to babysit.... i fully knew that was coming, but it's painfully awkward either way. also, dear god, eddie has already asked his girlfriend to babysit his kid twice this week. hmmmmm.
the AIR QUOTES. had to replay that three times, it's excellent, i adore this. the way he says it is SO good
the little WIGGLE at the second set of air quotes. GOLD
"get this! [star wars opinion]" jfkdfjk. possibly the funniest 911 has ever been
on his fridge! eddie has a day calendar! underatakeoutmenu
IT'S CIRCLED. WHAT DON'T YOU GET, MADDIE.
maddie's "with a little heart around it?" line is exactly as good as it seemed in all the gifs. wonderful, amazing, life-changing stuff
uh oh, harry in trouble!
yeah. so. the woman on this home break-in call absolutely shot her son, didn't she?
she did. we needed a nod to athena's recast son subplot.
that's athena's cop side coming out when she tells her son in a weird roundabout way that people are going to pee on him in jail. if buck and eddie sounded like a classic screwball, this is more tango & cash.
OH. we ARE getting into the athena-is-a-cop part of it.
oh my darling. you are being SO weird about this (affectionate).
insane amazon prime sponsorship just right in the middle of jealous bisexual weight lifting. what is happening
oh my god. oh boy. oh no
i mean, oh YES, but there's just oodles of secondhand embarassment to go around here. love you though buck, go for it, don't let me stop you
chimney innocently asking what that is buck is heartbrokenly cuddling..... and getting roped into this insane musclebound love triangle. poor chimney, you did nothing wrong.
also though. eddie giggling on the phone and fully and blatantly ignoring buck for that entire scene? there's just so much going on here. everyone's in love with tommy and his cool helicopters.
i was genuinely sort of hoping the athena-breaking-the-news part of this woman-shot-her-son case would remain implied. very sad. only misery here.
buck bullshitting his way into pretending this is totally just his attempt to bond with his future brother-in-law is very funny. nice try, my boy
the face of a chimney realizing he's been tricked :(
chimney calling himself a basketball beard...... chimney is cleverer than he even knows, i think.
i saw the post @redgoldblue reblogged pointing this out, but. yeah. that IS a whole montage that's just a very long top gun reference. playing with the boys!!!
also, in light of that...... buck & eddie's infamous "you can have my back any time" was also a top gun reference. (specifically, a reference to "you can be my wingman any time."/"bullshit. you can be mine.", as in, this right here.) we all agree on that, right? i've never seen anyone mention it, but that might just be because i only really see 911 content when it happens across my dash, so. we do agree? because. buck&eddie first bonding moments related to top gun.... buck&tommy arc starting with top gun basketball..... i'm just saying. i am. just saying.
sitting here open-mouthedly indignant that buck dragged chim along and then doesn't even let him play. chimney deserves better even in the middle of a dramatic understandably self-centered sexuality crisis
he bucked that up!! oh my god
big sister maddie is Good. i like that
a few minutes to go in the episode and there's a knock at buck's door! who might that be? maybe he ordered something else off of amazon prime (which is canonically really quick and convenient and you don't even need to sign anything).
the way tommy says "evannn." is so good
the fact that it's the terrible fake mouth static over the radio that got buck's attention is amazing. meet cute: we fly into a hurricane and you badly pretend your radio isn't working when someone tries to talk sense into us
🌈🎉🌈🎉💖
yes 🥺 he is free 🥺
gifs are good and wonderful but there are some things they just can't possibly do justice due to the limitations of the medium and just. seeing buck's quiet wide-eyed response to tommy kissing him and this Big Revelation he's having is definitely one of those things that need to be watched as a full scene with audio. oh gosh
saturday!
just lovely lovely good very sweet stuff! it's nice. but, like, nice - in a wonderful, good, heartwarming sort of way. god. the distance we've come - incredible.
11 notes
·
View notes
Text
Teaser Tuesday - family reunion (working title)
“Hey,” Eddie said softly, firmly, pulled him out of his head as he was so good at doing. Buck blinked and he was in front of a boutique bakery, the heat wafting out through the door as a customer left, a paper coffee cup cradled in their hand. “You can just come home.”
Buck hastily grabbed the door before it could swing shut and ducked inside. “I can’t leave Maddie here by herself.”
“Maddie’s her own person.” Eddie argued, pragmatic as always. “Just because she wants this… big family reunion doesn’t mean you have to be there with her.”
Except he sort of did, didn’t he? “She wouldn’t leave me to deal with it alone.” Except she had… in a roundabout way. There was a dichotomy in understanding the things he did now that he was thirty - Maddie had every right to leave him behind and she probably should have sooner. Staying with their parents after everything they had tossed on her wasn’t fair to her, she had been hurt just as much as he had been, but the fact remained that there would always be a small, illogical, little boy in him that had watched his big sister drive away and leave him behind. “And it’s not like she’s making me spend time with them.”
Maddie hadn’t even asked. They both knew that Buck was there for one reason and one reason alone - to make sure Maddie got through it all okay. The reunion wasn’t for him, after all. Buck hadn’t even known these people existed until about a month ago, he had never missed them the way Maddie had. It also meant that Buck wasn’t likely to make the excuses for them that she was. “You can’t actually think that they’re not going to try and force a conversation with you?” Eddie asked wryly.
Eddie was even less generous than Buck was when it came to his… extended family. It wasn’t that Eddie didn’t understand where his parents had come from with Daniel - I don’t know what I’d do if I ever lost Chris, Eddie had muttered years ago, when Buck had turned up at his doorstep absolutely ripped to pieces after finding out. But I don’t think I would be able to go about pretending he didn’t exist. But this wasn’t the case of his parents. This wasn’t a little bit of sympathy for the people who had tried everything to save one son and accidentally lost two. This was… these were grandparents and aunts and uncles who had let their nephew be swept under the rug. This was a group of people who allowed themselves to be carefully cut out of two lives that needed them and then never tried to reach out again. It was so incredibly complicated and, really, thinking about it all just made Buck exhausted. But Boston had its own charm, and it wasn’t Pennsylvania and it sucked that he didn’t have Eddie or Chris with him to show bits of his past to but he had Maddie and Jee-Yun and, really, Buck had survived off of less. “They can try.” Buck conceded after pausing to order a coffee he didn’t need (“A medium lavender honey latte, please. Hot.” Eddie had laughed in his ear, sounded a bit offended by the flavor and repeated it in an echo all the way in California like he couldn’t believe how pretentious Buck sounded when he ordered it.) and a delicious looking homemade muffin the size of Jee-Yun’s face to go with it. He shuffled down to the pick-up area, and took a plastic stirrer in hand, toying with it between restless fingers and glancing at his watch to check the time.
He had told Maddie they would meet for lunch, which still gave him a good… hour to sit in this coffee shop and ponder his life’s decisions or… something. “You’re all staying at the same hotel, Buck.”
He wrinkled his nose at the reminder. “But if I avoid the elevator…”
“Aren’t you on the fifth floor?”
“The place has stairs, Eddie.”
“You have chronic pain, Buck.”
Okay, listen, it was his own fault for calling Eddie here. If he had wanted someone to just listen to him whine he would have called Bobby and begged him not to put the phone on speaker so Athena couldn’t yell at him for not thinking straight. If he had wanted logic and a way to fix the situation, rally the troops or something, he would have called Hen. If he had wanted someone who would tell Maddie every single thing he was thinking and feeling so that she could fix the problem, he would have called Chim. But Buck had wanted someone to knock his head back on straight. Someone to listen to him whine and gripe and read the fine print to see that, even if he was joking about it, he wasn’t entirely… okay with it. I’m not sure we should be congratulating him. Eddie had said wryly when Buck had told all of them the sperm donation had taken. I understand wanting you to be their kid’s biological dad, Buck, but you know that doesn’t make you their… actual dad, right? He had asked when Buck was mid-breakdown on his kitchen floor. No he hadn’t known, thank-you-very-much. Or he had but he hadn’t wanted to think about it. Hen would call him out but Eddie would call him out, fill him with water and squeeze him so tight that every single emotion and thought would be wrung out of him whether he liked it or not.
“My mom looked like she was ready to chew my head off when I told Maddie I’d see her at lunch.” Buck mumbled instead, thanking the barista as they passed over his paper cup and porcelain plate. He balanced the muffin on his arm, found a table with a big, overstuffed armchair in the corner, and carefully lowered himself down onto it. The pain in his leg wasn’t all that bad, really. He had ibuprofen in his locker at work and in his hotel room for if it got too bad, a cream his doctor prescribed for after long, hard shifts. It was the cold that was doing him in, if he were to be honest about it. It was eating into his scars and reigniting where the screws had been placed in his bones. He shifted, stretched out his leg in front of him and rubbed at his knee absently. “I feel kind of bad leaving her there to deal with it all herself.”
Eddie hummed and Buck could imagine what he was doing with his face. His eyebrows were probably pulled up, his lips pressed tightly together like he was carefully avoiding saying something he knew Buck wasn’t going to like. Eddie had worn that look the entire time Buck was dating Taylor, it was his I don’t like the choice you’re making but it’s your choice to make look. “What are you guys doing for lunch?” Eddie asked instead of digging into the wound that was Buck’s complicated relationship with his parents.
“Have you even eaten breakfast yet?”
“You’re the one that brought up lunch.”
Buck laughed, a softer one than what he usually let out in deference to the stressed out college student at the table beside him. “I don’t know,” he admitted with a tiny shrug. “We might just let Jee pick.”
“She’ll just choose McDonalds.”
“There are worse choices.”
“McDonalds is trash, Buck.” Eddie argued like he always did.
“You’re only saying that because it was your first job.”
“No, it was my second job and it was trash.”
“Just because you only like their nuggets -.”
“It’s the smell.”
“It’s not like there’s In-and-Out here.”
“You can do better than McDonalds.”
“You know how I feel about seafood.”
“Doesn’t Boston have a bustling restaurant scene?”
“Yeah, it’s all seafood.”
“That sounds like a lie.”
Buck huffed and draped a hand over his mouth to hide his beaming smile from view. This was it, he knew, the thing he had been searching the world for. No wonder he hadn’t found it until California. He thought about it sometimes, when he was lying on Eddie’s couch or watching him with Chris at his own kitchen table, a word game between them that Chris only pretended to like because Eddie did. He had left Pennsylvania in search of who he was, in search of a purpose. He had found that in the 118, in firefighting. But he had found all of himself scattered in the Diaz household. And no wonder it had taken so long - Eddie hadn’t even been in the country when Buck had started looking. Buck had avoided Texas and stopped in almost every other state altogether. What were the odds, what were the chances. Right place, right time. There was never going to be anyone else, even if things never progressed further than where they were now. “I really want to take her to the aquarium.” Buck admitted, although it wasn’t a surprise. “This one’s really small but I think she’ll love the penguins.”
He knew she’d love the penguins. “Steal one and bring it home for me in your luggage.” Eddie commanded absently. It was… nine in Los Angeles. He was probably on his way into work, if Buck was remembering his schedule correctly. “It can be our child.”
“You want to split custody of a penguin with me?”
“Why not?”
They would do this thing, sometimes, where their playful arguments would take a turn into flirting territory. Eddie used to shy away from it, he’d shake his head and hide his smile and change the topic and Buck had learned not to push after the first few times. He liked Eddie a whole lot more romantically than Eddie liked him, and that was fine. Buck could cope. Only then Eddie had gotten shot and Buck had broken down the door to his bedroom and suddenly Eddie was getting better and flirting back and Buck was the one scrambling, trying to keep up with this new, tentative side that was certainly much more bold than he had ever taken Eddie to be. It was nice. It was exhilarating. It never failed to make his blood pump hot through his veins. “We should bring her to the aquarium out here.” Eddie said like they were a unit. They did babysit as a unit, sometimes. When Maddie and Chim needed a date night. Buck wasn’t sure if Chim knew they were watching her together but Maddie certainly did. “I think she’d get a kick out of the sea otters.”
“Who doesn’t like the sea otters?” Buck countered. “They hold hands when they’re sleeping.”
“To not get separated.” Eddie finished. “I know, you and Chris have both told me.”
“Well.” Buck blushed, suddenly happy Eddie couldn’t see him. “It’s important information.”
“I think they have a few new pups.” Eddie continued. “We should go when you get back. Make it a family thing.”
“A family thing?”
“The three of us?” Eddie balked at Buck’s question, like the wording he had used had caught himself off guard. “Me, you, Chris.”
A family thing. Buck smiled into his coffee lid. “I’d like that.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah.” Buck cleared his throat and shifted in his seat. “And then… maybe we could… I don’t know. Do something that’s n-.”
“Is that Buck?” Hen’s voice yelled through the speaker. Abruptly, he cut himself off, his cheeks flaming so hot that the college student beside him raised their brow when their eyes accidentally caught. Her lips twitched and she pointedly turned back down to her… statistics book.
“Hen!” Eddie yelped.
“Hey, Buck!” Hen must have grabbed his phone from his hand. “How are things going in Boston?”
He smiled, shook his head, and sat back in his chair, pulling his phone away from his ear to snap a quick picture of his muffin and send it her way. “I’m having this muffin that’s, like, the size of your face.”
Hen clicked her tongue. “Do I make better muffins?”
“Hen,” Buck told her as seriously as he could. “Your muffins are heaven sent and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.”
23 notes
·
View notes
Text
Hiatus Reading: “I’m still in love with you but... I needed to learn how to love myself too!”
Fanonwriter2023 on AO3
Where CANON and FANON collide!
Season 7 FANON Speculation
Buddie Multi-Chapter Fanfic
Chapter 7 is now available on AO3.
“I’m still in love with you but... I needed to learn how to love myself too!”
“I’m still in love with you but... I needed to learn how to love myself too!”
Currently 7 chapters completed: 154.8K words
Rated: Mature
One chapter will be posted at a time.
___________
Here’s a snippet from one of Buck’s and Eddie late night conversations included in chapter 7.
___________
After several minutes of silence, Buck clears his throat and asks, “Do you ever think about how… it’s not worth it?”
It’s like déjà vu as realization sets in for Eddie because they’ve had this conversation before but their roles were reversed and the question hits him in the chest like a boulder has been dropped on top of it. As he looks at him, he tries to keep his facial expression neutral but he’s not sure if Buck even notices since he quickly glances at him then looks away.
“Not the therapy. I—I mean…” He runs his hand over his face and continues. “Is being born even worth it?” He meets Eddie’s eyes. “I mean with all the crap we have to put up with when… dealing with our parents… or in my case the people who brought me into this world.”
Eddie doesn’t interrupt but he does raise his eyebrows.
Buck clears his throat and nervously rubs his sweaty hands on his thighs to dry them on his pants. “I wanted them to love me but they’ve always had their own selfish reasons for bringing me into the world so…” He trails off.
A loud and uncomfortable silence engulfs the room.
Then after a few seconds, in a low voice, Buck continues. “Maybe things would have been better if I was never born.” He shrugs his shoulders. “I mean my defective parts prevented me from being able to do the one thing I was born to do and since I couldn’t do that… I’m just wondering what’s the point of it all since I wasn’t meant to be here in the first place.”
Eddie’s heart shatters at Buck’s words because after all these years, he still hasn’t realized how important he is to them. Not just to him and Chris but to Maddie, Bobby and the 118 since they all need him.
He’s trying to think of the best way to respond so Buck will understand he’s needed and wanted but before he has the chance to, Buck stands up and says, “Sorry… I should take a shower and go back to bed because it’s late”.
___________
Fic Summary: Months after Buck and Eddie were hit by the same lightning strike; they’re still struggling with the aftermath of it. But before they make their love confessions, they’ll spend time getting to know themselves as individuals first. Eddie learns to enjoy the simple things in life as he participates in activities on his own and with new friends while Buck learns the rest of the 31-year-old deep dark family secret about his conception and birth. Their journey to forever is still a work in progress but once they finally admit they’re in love with each other, everything that follows their love confessions will be cataclysmic.
__________
Chapter Summaries
Chapter 1 - Eddie makes a new friend while Buck receives devastating news regarding the sperm donation he made for Connor and Kameron.
Chapter 2 - Buck does a lot of research to learn more about the abnormalities found in his red blood cells and Eddie starts a new therapy journey that’s all about him and not the traumas he’s experienced.
Chapter 3 - After more than a month, Buck and Eddie finally spend time together outside of work but it doesn’t end well and they part with a lot of uncertainty regarding their places in each other’s lives.
Chapter 4 - Eddie has a few realizations about his life which causes him to consider moving back to El Paso, TX while Buck continues to be reminded of his past which causes him to take an impromptu road trip across America.
Chapter 5 - Both Buck and Eddie have difficult conversations with their parents and Buck finally learns the truth behind the reason why his mother despised him while Eddie finally tells his mother about the way she tries to control him.
Chapter 6 - More than two weeks after Buck pushed Eddie away after suggesting they needed a break; Eddie decides to try again. Eddie’s there for Buck when he’s at his worst just like Buck was there for him when he was at his worst and he won’t let Buck give up.
Chapter 7 - After Buck’s mental breakdown, Eddie has his back the same way Buck had his when he had his own breakdown more than a year ago. They share several vulnerable and emotionally intimate moments with one another and they begin to realize their small, sweet and caring gestures matter just as much if not more than any grand gesture ever could because these are part of the foundation when a couple builds a long-lasting love relationship.
__________
Read chapters 1-7 are available on AO3.
Continue reading on AO3
#buddie#eddie diaz#evan buckley#christopher diaz#the buckley diaz family#buckley diaz family#911 fox#911 on fox#911onfox#911 abc#911 on abc#911 season 7 speculation#911 season 7#911 fanfic#buddie fanfic#Fanonwriter2023 on AO3#ao3 fanfic#I'm still in love with you but... I needed to learn how to love myself too!#Hiatus Reading#Chapter 7 is now available on AO3
22 notes
·
View notes
Note
being a buck girl who isn't a Buck Stan™️ in this environment is so tiring, like, so many people will claim to love him but then woobify him to death and villainize everyone else for everything and never accept that he makes mistakes. it pains me to see how they shit on the rest of the firefam, especially chimney and bobby. like you can tell which authors are this kind of buck stan based on the way they write chim and bobby (and then have hen's only purpose be to back up buck on everything and also make eddie grovel for buck's forgiveness when anything goes wrong).
atp i have the words lawsuit and sperm donor temporarily filtered because the people still talking about the former are exhausting and there's way too much discourse about the latter. and it sucks because I love canon buck so much and I think the show has done a good job making him likable just the way he is, fuckups and all (which 6x11 even emphasized), but I don't see that many people appreciating the actual canon buck since everyone wants to make him into a person that he isn't just so that he can always be in the right.
sorry for the rant btw but you seem like you dislike Buck Stans™️ as much as I do so I figured you'd understand 😅
yeah all this 100%, i'll never understand how people will claim to be fans of a character and then ignore or erase 90% of that character's personality. the most compelling thing about buck IS that he constantly fucks up, that his trauma response is engaging in self destructive behavior, and that he's literally his own worst enemy—as 6x11 proved to us. i've said this before, but the reason people are complaining so much about his writing in s4-6 is because there's no one to blame for his decisions anymore (not that any of the characters should have been in the earlier seasons, but there you go), that all of his mistakes are his alone, and they just can't handle that. they want buck to be this perfect victim of circumstance, but that's never who he's been. that's never who any of the characters on this show have been. all of them have fucked up and have had to face the consequences for it, and buck is no different. to boil his character down to 'himbo with a heart of gold who's actually really misunderstood and victimized by everyone around him' is so incredibly dismissive. you don't like his actual character, you like the made-up version in your mind who has never done anything wrong and who deserves everyone around him to treat him with kid gloves.
#they literally act as tho buck—an attractive white man—has faced more discrimination than anyone else on the show#even though hen and chimney are RIGHT THERE#and it's infuriating#'the sperm donor arc is making more people dislike buck!' god i sure hope it is#i hope they leave and take their blatant misinterpretations of his character with them#neethu answers#anon#fandom discourse
32 notes
·
View notes
Text
that old familiarity
(buddie) (671 words) (spoilers for 5x16)
Buck’s insides feel twisted and misshapen. They made it out. They all did. But for a second there… Suffice it to say, people don’t usually survive ten tons of concrete falling on them.
Eddie’s presence is a soothing balm, though. It always has been, but tonight feels different, somehow. Different, maybe, because Eddie’s different. Settled in a way he hasn’t been in months. He catches Buck’s eye and offers him a half smile, and it loosens something in his chest.
His girlfriend is standing over by the nurse’s station, Buck knows. He should probably go over to her. Make sure she’s okay, maybe, although he can’t imagine why she wouldn’t be. He stays with Eddie instead.
Eventually, Hen finds them. The news is good, mostly, but it worries Buck that Bobby’s hurt, even if it is just a pinched nerve. Eddie says they’re lucky, though, and it’s hard not to believe him.
All at once, Buck is exhausted. There’s some kind of commotion at the entrance to the hospital, but he doesn’t have the energy to pay it any mind. Eddie seems to sense it and leads him to a pair of chairs tucked away in the corner of the waiting room.
For a while, they sit in comfortable silence, until Eddie finally breaks it.
“It felt good today,” he says with a breathless little laugh. “I felt good. I can’t remember the last time…”
Buck allows himself a small smile, because yeah, in the second before Lucy called in the mayday, he’d felt good too. Light. Like the detritus that had settled in his chest was finally dissipating, floating away on every exhale. The smoky air outside dispatch had almost tasted sweet.
“It did,” he agrees.
Eddie ducks his head and grins, just a little too wide for a hospital waiting room. “I think…” he shakes his head. “No, I know.”
Buck shifts so he’s facing Eddie directly, but he doesn’t say anything.
“I’m ready,” Eddie says.
There’s not a thing Buck can do to stop the smile that spreads across his face. “Yeah?”
Eddie nods. “It’s time to come home.”
It’s the best news Buck’s heard all week. Well– unless you count Bobby and May’s miraculous survival, but since Buck was there for that, it doesn’t really seem like news.
Buck bites down on his lower lip, but it doesn’t do a thing to stop his smile from widening. “It’s damn good to have you back,” he admits, like it’s some kind of secret. Like it wasn’t written all over his face the entire time they were in there.
“I’m not back yet,” Eddie reminds him gently.
Buck shrugs. “Sure you are. Now it’s just a matter of paperwork.”
Eddie sobers a little. “You think Bobby’s going to okay it?”
“Eds, he brought you an extra set of turnouts today. He wants you back almost as bad as I do,” he says.
“Oh, almost as bad?” Eddie asks, a teasing lilt to his tone.
Suddenly, Buck’s a little breathless. “Yeah,” he says softly, “Almost.”
Eddie’s expression softens, and he nudges Buck’s shoulder with his own. “I’ve missed you,” he says, like it’s simple, like it’s an immutable fact of nature. The sun shines, there are fish in the sea, and Eddie’s missed Buck.
A few tears spring to Buck’s eyes and he blinks them away. “I was at your place last night,” he protests, a little rough.
“Yeah,” Eddie agrees. “But I missed being your partner.”
Buck swallows and manages a nod. He thinks Eddie gets it.
For a while, they sit in silence, just waiting for Bobby to be discharged. There’s something oddly comforting about the familiarity of it all. His family, gathered in one place, no need to talk because everyone in the room understands why they’re there. There was a while when Buck thought they’d never all be under the same roof again.
Now, though, he knows. They’re going to be okay. They’re going to be whole again.
It’s just a matter of time.
#probably going to write a different coda later bc this one felt like pulling teeth but i didn't want to break my streak!!#911#911 spoilers#911fic#911 fic#buddie#coda#abbie writes#fic#userceecee#evan buckley#eddie diaz#buddiefic#buddie fic#i'll rb for tags in a few!
285 notes
·
View notes
Last Seen Blogs
blue-fella
Mostly mature
acapulchra
Acapulchra
utterpeace-blog
she slept with wolves ;
johnny2quonte
Untitled
cakefed
sweet like