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aussiepineapple1st · 1 year

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That Time of Month

Leon x F!Reader

A/N: This is my experience with periods. I don’t know exactly how they should normally work other than getting them at the same time every month. So I just went with what mine are like.

Words: 1,672 Contains: Fluff, Period talk, Domestic Leon.

Leon was coming home today, he had been in quarantine for the passed week. He had been texting you through your cheap burn phones. He always hated being stuck in DSO's Private hospital rooms, they were nice as you have stayed in there multiple times before. But you liked the quiet time where you could just read, draw and listen to music while you passed the time slowly. Not having to worry about your job. For Leon, however, it was absolute torture after the first 2 days. He would get antsy try to find something to do, anything! Colouring the provided adult colouring books, reading, he would listen to his music, but he would soon start pacing. He was mainly extroverted, though he didn't need to be out and doing something on the town type of extroverted. He liked his company, yes going out was a bonus, but he liked to be around people. You especially.

Your phone buzzes. "Almost home :P" You smile at the text and begin typing your reply.

"Don't text and drive."

"Make me"

You just chuckle to yourself, placing your phone back down on the island bench. You had been cleaning all morning, having gotten back from a job yourself, but didn't come into contact with any viruses or parasites, so quarantine wasn't needed. The house was usually tidy because both of you seemed to be on a lot of jobs lately, seeming to come home, get one good night's sleep then back out on the field. But you had been home for 4 days now and had been lazy with dishes, plus the bathroom and bedroom needed a good cleaning and vacuuming.

You did this all despite getting your period. You didn't get them on the regular maybe skipping a few months at a time to a few years, those times would get Leon's hopes up that you could be pregnant, but the tests were always negative. Luckily you had felt that cramping last night and put a pad on just to be safe. You felt like crap and would sometimes have to stop what you were doing, bending over to put pressure on your pelvis to help with the bout of pain. Currently you were standing in the kitchen doing the dishes, looking around the large space of your living area, your sink being on the island bench facing out so you could converse while cleaning up. The thought of how lucky you were despite your job and the things you have seen, you had an amazing 2 story house out in the hills, a loving boyfriend who you were hoping was going to propose to you at any time, but honestly didn't mind if you didn't get married. It was mainly the thought. You were basically husband and wife already, just without the legality and paperwork, and rings were a slight hazard, even though you would both wear gloves when out on a job.

Your thoughts were interrupted by the uncomfortable crampage turning up to a 9, causing you to squat down in a ball of discomfort and pain. You feel your skin going clammy and was sure you lost all your colour, one hand still holding onto the edge of the bench above your head. You were in so much pain you didn't even hear the door opening.

"I'm home!" Calls an all too familiar voice from the front door, all the way across the room from where the kitchen was.

Strange.. There was no response? Leon was sure you were home. Dropping his keys in the bowl beside the entrance with a clang, he drops his bag while looking around. He could smell the citrus of the cleaning products you liked to use and saw a nicely lit house. You had opened all the curtains to the windows and letting a nice cool breeze in. Yeah you were definitely here, so why were not you running at him and leaping into his arms like he would normally be welcomed home.

"(Y/N)? You here?" He calls scanning the kitchen area and seeing some fingers, white from gripping the edge tight. They lift up and give a wave.

"Over here.." You say grunting out your words.

That didn't sound good, Leon makes his way towards the kitchen and peers around the island bench to see you scrunched up in a ball. He walks over to you and kneels down placing a hand on your shoulder, you felt all cold and clammy. "Hey.. What's wrong?" He asked with worry in his voice. Seeing your flushed face as you look up to him, your nose wrinkled in pain.

"Period.." Was all you could get out, exhaling through the cramp, this one was lasting a while.

Leon's shoulders relax, he thought you had been hurt, well, you were hurting, but it was nothing either of you could really do and you weren't bleeding out. Well.... You were, but this was the 'natural' type. "Alright, up we go." He said lifting you into his arms. He gives you a kiss on the temple as he walks you over to the lounge.

"Welcome home, by the way." You were starting to come back to reality, the cramping finally starting to calm to a more bareable pain.

"We really should get you checked out, I'm a guy and even I don't think this is normal." He said skipping over your welcome home, but it didn't go unappreciated.

"I know.. But when have I got the time? The appointments have to be made in advance and we don't know when we will be back or going out on jobs." You say as Leon places you down on the couch. He gives a frustrated look as you were very right, but he hated seeing you this way. It wasn't often, thank god, but when it did happen he absolutely abhorred that your body would do this to you.

"Do you think maybe you could be pregnant? You seem to be in more pain than normal?" He asked. "I heard one of the office girls talk about the pain she felt before she found out she was pregnant."

You shake your head. "No.. I'm bleeding this time."

"Oh.. Right." He sounded disappointed. You knew he wanted at least one kid. Though you were both getting older, and having a child in your line of work was just a death wish for the child. That or easy orphanage, and Leon was an orphan so he didn't want to put any child through that. But he still would have that glimmer of hope in his eyes.

Leon makes his way to the hallway leading to the bathroom, toilet and 2 guest rooms. Opening the doors of a closet built into the wall, he takes out a maroon wheat pack. Placing it in the microwave for 3 minutes, he searches around the kitchen cupboards for some snacks. You had said you were out shopping the other day when he called you from how bored he was, then he suddenly remembered. Walking over to his bag beside the front door he picks it up and takes it over to you.

Kneeling down in front of you on the couch he reaches into his bag, pulling out some sour lollies, a box of Ferrero Rocher's and a very crushed flower he had picked on his way home. "Oh.. um.. This did look pretty." He said with a sheepish smile, you take it from his hand anyway and smell it.

"It still smells nice though." You smile and lean towards him, Leon closing the gap between you as your lips touch and a quick kiss.

The microwave beeps and he makes his way over there, removing the wheat back and bouncing it in his hand as it was hot to the touch to start with. You realise the room starting to get darker, hearing the curtains being closed.

"You don't have to, I know you like the sunlight coming through."

"I do, but we can't watch a movie with the glare." He replies. Grabbing a blanket from the another couch before laying it over you, placing the wheat pack over your pelvis. You sigh with relief after a short moment, Leon standing beside you until he heard your discomfort lessening.

"What movie were you thinking of watching?" You ask knowing what the answer was going to be already.

"Do you even have to ask?" He said grabbing the remote controls, sitting you up he grabs a few pillows to place on his lap so you could lean against them.

"Kung Fu Panda 2 it is then." You smile as you lean back into the pillows and as Leon wraps his arms around you. You were already eating the sour lollies he had bought. "Did you just happen to grab these?"

"Well I was going to ask if you wanted a date night and this could be after snacks. But plans have changed and I'll go out to get some takeaway." He answers pressing another few kisses to your temple. He had really missed you, both dancing around each other with separate jobs lately over the passed month. You would come home and Leon would have been pulled out to work that previous night, then he would come home and you had been sent international that morning.

"Sorry.." You apologise feeling guilty that you had ruined his plans.

"Sorry? It's not your fault you're in pain." He reasons, not accepting the apology. "Besides, I get a week off so we can do whatever you want when you are ready." He smiled and starts to search for his favourite movie.

You both spend the rest of the afternoon watching the movie then catching up, just talking about your jobs and what you had experienced, needing to talk to each other about it and how you were feeling. Leon then leaves to get some Chinese and sushi, coming home with many different options. Tonight was a night of alcohol, laughing and feasting.

🏷️: @phoenix666stuff @maehemthemisfit @greywardensaywhat

#cramps #domestic leon #fluff #leon kennedy #leon s kennedy #leon x f!reader #leon x fem!reader #leon x female reader #leon x reader #period #resident evil #vendetta leon

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hoedamn-eron · 11 months

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baby, please - part 1

You're successful, you're independent, and you pride yourself in both. But your friends think you could do with a man.

Warnings: Mentions of drinking wine. Reader is a bit of a workaholic. Like, one swear word. Proofread but probably a mistake or two in there somewhere. Word count: 2,031 F!Reader, no use of Y/N.

Welcome to the re-write! I wanted to write this last year, around the same time as my Doctor Steven Grant, PhD series, but it got put on hiatus due to some not nice real life stuff, but it's back! I hope you enjoy it!

These are your texts. These are Santi's texts.

Series Masterlist ● Part 2

You had the tendency to prove people wrong. Only when they had negative connotations of you, of course. You didn’t do it to be an obnoxious know-it-all.

For instance, you stuck it to your family when your parents scoffed at your idea of going into marketing instead of medical, like your sisters. You’d worked your ass off at college and graduated top of your class, those naysay comments from your parents in the front of your mind as you tossed your cap at your ceremony. Because of your hard work, you had moved to Florida for an amazing job opportunity. Granted, it wasn’t New York (which is the end goal for you jobwise), but you were the head of your very successful team, and it gave you the chance to separate yourself from your hometown (and therefore, your judgemental parents).

Let’s not forget the time you bought your apartment. Your friends had laughed at the size of it, claiming that you would want more space eventually, but it was yours, and you made it your own. Now your friends had decided your apartment was the best for your wine nights (which used to be bi-weekly, but plans changed when kids were coming into the picture), because it was the most quiet and you had the comfiest couch.

And lastly, you had proven than you didn’t need a man. Sure, it would be a nice perk to have, but you were happy being single. Whilst your friends were settling down and looking to move to nice neighbourhoods with good schools, you were dating around. Your love life was mostly filled with a few dates and one-night stands. You had dabbled in online dating every now and then, but that usually fizzled out after a few weeks. It didn’t bother you, you enjoyed meeting so many new people and having all these experiences to share.

Your dating life was a common topic of conversation between your peers. Your friends frequently teased you over it, wondering when you were going to ‘settle down’ yourself. You usually laughed it off. It never bothered you, why would it? You were a full-grown adult who could make decisions for herself, and it wasn’t any of their business at the end of the day. You’ve come to embrace being ‘that friend’ who was perpetually single.

It made sense that they would tease you about it, you were nearly thirty (not like there was a deadline or anything, you had plenty of time to ‘find’ someone). You weren’t even sure if you wanted kids, or to settle down. It may have worked out for others, who was to say it would work out just the same for you? You were perfectly happy focusing on yourself and your career.

Your day started out like any other. You woke up early, already sweating, huffing at the hot air of Florida. Your AC conked out last week, and you hadn’t found the time to get someone out to look at it. Your biggest client is launching their brand in a month’s time, so you and your team had been working aggressively hard to make sure you were meeting your deadlines and that your effort was up to par and more.

Which meant you’d been spending your weekday evenings mostly at the office than in your own apartment.

Answering a few morning emails and eating your breakfast before getting ready for work, you sent a quick text in your group chat to confirm that wine night was still good to go for later that night, since it was unusual to have your girl nights on a Monday (but it was the only time anyone had free, and it had been a long time since any of you were free at the same time). The evening was planned out perfectly, you’d even treated yourself and your friends to some decent wine, since this was the first wine night in months. You were truly happy for your friends, and you still saw each other every now and then, but God, there was nothing like your wine nights.

You weren’t expecting a text back from anyone until later in the day, so you continued with your morning. You made it into work with the usual traffic, a coffee in your hands from the local Starbucks. You sat at your desk and booted up your computer, checking your voicemails in the meantime.

“Good morning!”

You held back a grimace as you greet your desk mate.

Emily is nice enough, but overly chipper. She was blonde, bubbly, and always wore bright clothing. She was young, straight out of college and had joined the team a few months ago. She was still trying to find her feet in the company, and tried hard to make friends, something that she had frequently come to you about. Recently, she’d been hanging out with George and Juliet in accounts since they were of a similar age.

You suspected she had a thing for George.

“How was your weekend?” Emily asked, throwing her pink handbag to the floor and sitting in her chair.

“It was good. How was yours?” you ask.

“It was fine, thanks. Our new roommate moved in.”

Emily had been living with her sister and her sister’s boyfriend. Turned out the boyfriend had been sleeping around with some of the girls and guys from his gym and Emily and her sister had kicked him out. Last you heard he’d moved back in with his parents out of town.

“How’s that going?”

“Good, so far! Think Becca is just glad to have all his stuff gone and have her own space back.” Emily shook her head with wide eyes as she logged into her computer. “But she’s panicking now, because she wants to settle down. She’s nearly twenty-six, she thought she would be married by now. She was even talking about kids with this guy, so she’s feeling a little nervy about being on her own. Oh! That reminds me…”

Emily turned to look back at you, a grin on her face. You raise an eyebrow at her. “What?”

“There’s someone I think you should meet.”

You fought the urge to roll your eyes at your co-worker. One, because Emily had linked her sister’s ‘impending doom’ at being single with you, and two, it was the same story every time. Someone knows someone you should meet, and you go out on a date, but nothing ever comes of it. “Who do I need to meet, Emily?”

“My neighbour,” she replied, smiling widely. “His name is Santiago. He’s great, he was in the army for a while, but he’s retired now.”

“Retired?” you pulled a face. Trust Emily to try and set you up with an old fogey.

Emily shook her head quickly at you, almost as if she’d read your mind. “No, not retired like you think, he’s not old. He’s barely forty. And he’s really good looking, and nice.”

You shook your head at her. “I don’t know, Emily, work is busy, and the launch is soon…I don’t even have time to fix my AC at home, never mind go on a date.”

Emily pulls a face and makes a noise that reminds you of a toddler not getting their own way. “Come on, he’s funny and charming, and he might be ‘the one’!”

You had never believed in that kind of stuff; ‘the one’ and ‘soulmates’ and all that. You believed that there were so many people in the world, that you can (and will) fall in love multiple times throughout your life. Sure, sometimes people do just find one person who they are happy with and choose to be with for the rest of their lives, but that just wasn’t you.

But – saying that - it had been a while since you went out on a proper date. You could do with having a bit of fun and getting out the office and your apartment. And Emily liked to think she was some sort of match maker, so you’d like to humour her, just this once. “Okay, fine.”

Emily smiled widely as she excitedly gave you Santiago’s number, telling you that he was already expecting a text from you. You pull a face at her at the fact she had already anticipated you would say yes (or were you just that predictable?) and had given Santiago the heads up. You saved his number quickly before throwing your phone in your desk drawer and turning back to Emily. “Let’s finish up these mock ups and get them sent out. If we get these out of the way, we can focus on looking into finalising the merchandise.”

Your day was filled with multiple phone calls, plenty of meetings, and regular catch ups with your clients. You had hit a few snags, which could potentially delay the launch, but you were determined not to get to that point, already setting up possible plans and sending them to your client for approval. You finally sat down for your lunch when everyone was readying up for leaving for the day and going home.

You scrolled through your phone as you ate your lunch (which might as well be your dinner at this point). You caught up on your texts (wine night was still on!) and scrolling through what you’d missed on the client's social media (not much). You suddenly remembered about Santiago, who Emily had decided to set you up with. You grinned as you found his number and started a new text chain.

Hi, you introduce yourself. I’m Emily’s co-worker, she might have mentioned I would text you today?

It was a few minutes later when you received a reply.

Hey. Emily did mention you’d message. I’m Santiago. Have you thought about where you'd like to go for our date? Any preference on food?

Oh, okay, straight to the point.

I'm open to suggestions. I like pretty much anything, do you have any recommendations?

There’s this little Italian restaurant called Bella Cucina. The food is amazing, and it has a cosy atmosphere. It's not too far from where I live.

Italian sounds perfect! What day works for you?

How about Saturday? We could aim for a 7:30pm reservation if that suits you? Emily mentioned you’d been spending a lot of time at the office.

And considerate.

Saturday sounds great. 7:30pm works well for me. I'm really looking forward to it. Just to be sure, Bella Cucina is on Main Street, right?

Bella Cucina is on Main Street. I'll make the reservation for two under my name.

That’s great, I’ll put it in my schedule. I look forward to meeting you!

See you then, have a great rest of your week.

He seemed nice enough. A little stiff, maybe, but that might be due to his army background. You wondered what he looked like. You could look him up on social media if you wanted to, but you barely used the accounts you had; mainly you updated your client’s posts as requested. You imagined Santiago to be a stereotypical, muscled man with a buzzcut and lots of tattoos. One who was stoic and stern, very set in his ways.

You’d definitely dated that guy in the past.

You placed your phone back into your bag before gathering the packages of your lunch/dinner. The office was quiet, meaning everyone had probably gone home. You threw away your rubbish, walking back towards your desk to finish up a few more emails and shut down your computer. Your friends would be arriving at your place in just over an hour, so you had to make a move.

You lock up the office and make your way out of the building, making your way to your car in it’s usual parking space in the lot next door. Luckily traffic didn’t look too bad, so you should have enough time to get home and quickly and shower before setting up for wine night for when your friends arrived.

You knew you’d be fine. You could do it. You were you, and you get shit down. Apart from fixing your AC. You really needed to call someone about that.

#triple frontier #santiago garcia x reader #santiago x reader #santiago garcia x f!reader #santiago garcia #oscar isaac #pregnant!reader

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theunholyrogue · 1 year

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a bad day (Bayv! Donnie x GN! Reader) part 2

Finally!! I have had major writer’s block over this part so I hope this cuts it! :)

Tw: angst; happy ending, description of pain and wounds, abuse/physical assault, hints of SA, cursing, hints towards sex, 18+.

Tag: @lovelyladylavie (SORRY IT TOOK FOREVER! 🥺)

read part one here

What the hell had happened?

You groaned, your head pounding as you started to come to. You felt the dirty, rough carpet scratch against the side of your face, individual strands flush against your eye, invading your ocular space as your lids fluttered open.

Had they hit you?

Your vision was spotty with black orbs and your mouth was dry. You wondered how long you had been passed out while manuvering your arms and hands to your side, slowly pushing your upper body off of the floor. Your body was damn-near retaliating against you, you hadn’t taken a cold shower to cool your muscles down after your fight, your face was aching from the blow to your nose, and the rest of your head followed suit with a pounding migraine.

Once you sat up, you held your palm to your head, applying pressure in a weak attempt to take the pain away, especially as you pushed yourself to your feet and leaned against the nearby wall. You gazed around, the room being left still and quiet, noticing the brown shards of a beer bottle scattered about the floor.

Bloody hell…

Moving forward, you walked around the corner of the room, looking into the kitchen and saw it just as messy as it been left earlier that day, at least you assumed it was the same day. You eyes focused on the stovetop clock, reading over the green digits.

01:15

You paused, patting the pockets on your jacket and then looking back into the living room, spotting your phone underneath the coffee table covered in butts and booze. You stumbled over, bending over and pulling the mobile device out from it’s hiding spot. You sighed a breath of relief to see that it was only the next day, you were only out for a few hours.

You also noticed the amount of texts and missed calls from Donatello, as well as the other turtles and April, concerned for your safety and why you weren’t answering them. For your safety and theirs, nobody in your friend group knew where you resided, so you could understand their worries if they couldn’t even come check on you.

You proceeded in checking the rest of the house, seeing that your guardian was gone. You had suspected that they went to work, so you took time opportunity to lock yourself up in your room. You flipped the lights on, moaning as the brightness overloaded your senses and caused your head to pound, but you knew that you needed to inspect the back of your head.

Thankfully, you didn’t feel any shards of glasses lodged into your scalp, however, you did have a cut that had slowed down in bleeding, you still felt like it was open enough to need medical intervention.

Checking your phone once again, thumb swiping through various notifications — halfway ignoring the majority — you tapped on the text thread between Raphael and yourself.

You were closest to Raphael outside of Donatello. It wasn’t always that way, however. It took the mutant some time to get used to you, especially since you and his brother started dating. He eventually warmed up to you once he realized that you weren’t going anywhere, and a great friendship had blossomed. You two would train together occasionally, take out silly frustrations on each other through boxing — him mainly due to Leo and you, your homelife and other human-directed problems.

You were upset at Donatello for how he had ditched you earlier, and seeing April’s notifications didn’t help with the negative feelings that continued to fester. So, you tapped on Raphael’s icon and started to call him instead.

Ring…

“Where the hell are you?!” Raphael’s voice boomed over the speaker. You could hear the rest of the turtles asking various questions — Is it them? Are they okay? What happened? And so on…

“M’house,” you replied, your voice cracking from lack of use.

“Are you alright? What happened?”

You shook your head, looking outside the window as you spoke, “I think I need a stitch.”

“Why?”

You explained what had happened when you got home, how the wound felt, and how you felt at this moment.

“ ‘Right, Don can-,”

“No,” you interrupted, walking over to your bed and collapsing onto it, “I don’t want his help, he didn’t have time for me earlier so I don’t want it now,” you continued.

The other end of the line was quiet for a few moments, and you started to speak to fill the silence.

“I’m just letting you know that I’m fine. See ya’ later,” you hung up before anybody could speak up. Dropping the phone to your side, you pushed yourself off of the bed and stumbled out of the bedroom, making your way into the bathroom. Figuring a shower would help with the overwhelming body pain and cleansing of your wounded head, you didn’t hesitate at the opportunity.

You weren’t sure how much time had passed since you started your shower, but as soon as you turned the knobs to cut the water off and exit, it was much colder in the room than it was when you first entered. You shivered, grabbing a towel from its hanging spot on the outside of the glass door and wrapping it around your body.

“Why is it freezing?” You quietly asked yourself as you stepped out of the bathroom, looking at the thermostat across the hall and setting it at a higher temp. You rushed to your room afterwards to get dressed, nearly jumping out of your skin when you saw your boyfriend sitting on the edge of your bed.

“Ahh!”

“Ahh!” He screamed back, averting his gaze as if he had never seen your body before — much less wrapped up in a towel.

“How did you know where I live?!” You asked, gripping the towel.

“You’re asking me that question?” Donatello asked, looking from the window to the ceiling.

“Okay, true… Why are you here?”

“Because I was worried about you, especially after-,”

You cut the terrapin off, “No, shouldn’t you be with April? Fixing a camera? Helping with an issue? Ya’ know, running to the damsel in distress like you always do?” You snapped.

Donatello mumbled your name.

“I’m sick of it! I have never asked you for anything more important than to come to just one of my matches, the most important match, and no — April O’Neil and her camera were more important to you than I was. I am your partner, but I’m not going to stay with you if I always get treated like the second choice, I don’t deserve that, especially when all I have done to you was love you unconditionally and supported you through everything,” You let it all go, allowing a tear or two to slip as you spoke.

You expected Donatello to give his condolences, to turn around and leave. That had been his reaction to minor arguments in the past between the two, as if the genius was inept to normal conversations. You sucked a deep breath in as his gaze swapped from ceiling to floor, watching for any reaction he could have, minor or major.

You just knew it was going to end here.

And you weren’t ready for it…

The terrapin stood up from the edge of your bed, towering over you even at the slight distance you both had between you. Your gaze followed him as he walked over to you, standing in front of you for a mere moment before dropping to his knees and bowing over your feet. Startled, you stepped back and avoided kicking him in the face, but you froze as he started to speak, listening as your name slipped off of his tongue.

“I have been the worst partner to you, my dear. I have not put you first in my life and that is completely unacceptable. I don’t have an excuse for treating you this way, and I am so sorry for making you feel like you came last to me. I understand if you want to end our relationship, to find better than I have been giving you, but, if you’ll give me the chance, I promise to show you that you are my number one, that you are my person, and that you’ll never, I mean never, come last again.”

You felt your heart flip in your chest, your anxiety relieving itself that the situation did not have the outcome that you had expected.

Reaching out, you placed your hand on his shell and sat on your knees in front of him. You moved your hand from his shell to underneath his chin, ushering the turtle to look up at you.

“You have the chance,” you replied softly, causing his face to light up. He raised up from his bowing position and wrapped his arms around your body, pulling you into a hug.

Burying his face into your neck, Donatello mumbled multiple ‘I love you's' into your skin.

“Ya’ love me?”

“Well, of course,” he replied.

“Prove it,” you mumbled, a smirk crossing along your features, sending Donatello in for a loop.

“I’ll prove it, but only after I stitch your cut,” he winked.

————

You found yourself waking up in your bed, alone. Rubbing your eyes and knocking the sleep buildup away, you looked over at your nightstand to see a notecard along a packet of Tylenol and a bottle of water. You reached over and grabbed the packet, opening it and quickly downing the pills with your water before looking at the note.

“Good morning, my love. I left you some headache medication and water, you may need it after last night ;). I love you. -D.”

Rolling your eyes and making an attempt to stop the giddy smile forming on your face, you reached for you phone to glance over the notifications. You paused and read one particular text sent by Raphael not too long ago.

“For someone who is mad at Donnie, you sure left a lotta hickeys on his neck.”

You felt your face start to burn as you gazed over the text, tossing your phone aside before yanking it back into your grip and responding,

“Shut up, mind your business.”

Ding!

“Well it’s hard to mind my own when your business is covering him head to toe, :P”

You mentally cursed at the turtle, but what could you do at this point?

———

After making sure that your guardian was asleep, you dressed yourself in a casual attire and made your way down to the gym to talk to your coach about the incident that happened the night before between you and Eric.

“You ain’ got no worries! He was caught on tape from before the match to afta’.” Your coach explained.

“Eric is banned from our gym and we have let locals know. Howeva’ it’s up ta’ you if you wanna press charges or not,” he continued, looking to you and waiting for an answer.

Despite the evidence that you had, you shook your head. You had heard of way to many people getting hurt or more over situations such as this, and the only thing you wanted to do was to let it go.

Your coach asked if you were sure, and you were adamant on dropping the entire thing. You knew that you were unlikely to see the boy again, and you felt a great sense of ease knowing that you had the turtles on your side. Anybody would call you stupid for not pressing charges, but you truly didn’t have the means or support to move forward with doing so.

After speaking to your coach, you found yourself knocking on April’s apartment door.

You had nothing against the female, even if you and your boyfriend had had arguments involving her. You knew that she was never intentionally trying to cause you two to argue, plus you knew that she defended you because you had heard it in more cases than one when it came to Donatello venting. While you two were really only close because of the turtles, you knew that you could depend on her for anything, to be there for you.

You watched as the door opened up and she greeted you warmly, allowing you to come inside and asked what was up.

“I need a place to stay,” you stated, watching for her response.

She nodded, “Okay, I have an extra bedroom, is everything okay at yours?”

You shook your head, “No, it’s never been okay. My guardian is a raging alcoholic who is plummeting further into debt over their addiction rather than paying for household bills. Last night they got physical in a scratch we had and they hit me over the head with a bottle and I’m fearing for my life, but what’re the cops gonna do? They’ve never helped me in the past and kept me there with them.” You explained, allowing yourself to be vulnerable.

“Oh my, yeah, of course you can stay,” April replied.

“I can help with bills or groceries, whatever you need, at least until I can get my own place,” you stated, but she shook her head.

“Don’t worry about any of that right now. You are most than welcome to stay here as long as you like, but focus on getting out of school first.”

You nodded, allowing a breath that you had been holding in unknowingly to be released and smiled, “Thank you,” you spoke and hugged the female.

April hugged you back, waiting for you to pull away first before you left her apartment and headed back to your home.

Quietly, you grabbed a duffle bag and packed your clothes and shoes into it. You hadn’t realized how little that you actually owned until making this decision, and the duffle still had room for your toiletries.

You didn’t own very many personal belongings, not with how your guardian would snoop around your room at times and destroy it at others. So whatever you did own, you managed to stuff it down into your book-bag or your smaller duffle that you used for boxing. Whatever you had left could be considered junk for your guardian to rummage through, and you quickly scurried out of the apartment with your three bags.

April had already had the room set up for you when you had got back, and you took an hour or so to unpack and put away what you had brought.

“Looks like we’ll have to go shopping. The closet is hardly full and you haven’t touched the dresser, yet!”

“Hey, I’m content with the little I have!” You giggled, putting away your shoes and turning to April, revealing the half empty closet, “Annnnd, done!”

“Yeah, you need more clothes. Anywho, here is your key to the apartment,” she stated and held out a silver key in her hand. You took it and attached it to your keychain, thanking her in the process.

“Hey, I’m about to head down to the lair, want to tag along?” You asked, but April shook her head.

“Sorry, I’m working this evening. Tell the guys that I said hey!” She replied before leaving the room.

———

It was well into the late afternoon by the time you were heading to the lair. April had been long gone at work and so you took your normal shortcuts to get the turtle’s hideout. However, you felt a sudden grip around your arm that had yanked you into the alleyway you were walking by, with a calloused hand covering your mouth.

You looked up at the perpetrator to see that it was Eric, who looked like he was about to tear New York City apart.

“Missed me?” He asked, his bushy red eyebrows furrowed together as his body pressed against yours. He held his leg against yours to avoid being kneed like last night, and his free hand had managed to maneuver both of your wrists above your head in one swoop.

“I might’ve let you get away easily last night, but you won’t be as lucky today. I heard that I’m banned from all the gyms around hear now, but what I wanna know is did you press charges?”

You shook your head, a grin now growing along his features, “Maybe you should’ve, ‘cause I ain’t going away.”

You felt his breath hit your neck, and you trembled against his body. As much as you tired to fight back, Eric had you in a hold that you were struggling to free yourself from.

Slamming your eyes shut, you waited for this nightmare to be over, and suddenly you felt an over-looming presence in the air.

“Step away from my girl, or else,” you heard a familiar voice whisper, opening one of your eyes to see Donatello swallowing the two of you in his casted shadow.

Eric had yet to realize how threatening Donatello’s presence is, chuckling as he turned his head, stating to the turtle, “Yeah buddy, why don’t you just fuck off and find your own sl—,” the boy paused, his eyes trailing up to finally meet with the terrapin hovering over him.

An audible sound of liquid started dripping down onto the concrete below as Eric cried out, letting you go and running away from the scene of the crime, a trail of urine following suite as he screamed. Donnie had quickly scooped you up and made haste onto the closest rooftop to avoid detection. He then set you down, but you were shaken up.

Had you really been in that situation… again?

What if Donnie hadn’t of shown up?

Would anybody have helped you?

Donatello called out to you by your name, catching your attention by snapping his fingers in front of your face. You glanced up at him with tears welding up in your eyes and he quickly pulled you into a hug.

“Hey, hey, no need to cry,” Donnie spoke softly, running his palm against your back as you broke down. “I know it’s been a bad day or two, but we can make it better. Shhh, shhh, I love you with all of my heart, we are going to get through this together, me and you. I promise.”

#tmnt #tmnt bayverse #tmnt leo 2014 #tmnt leo 2016 #tmnt donnie 2016 #tmnt donnie x reader #tmnt mikey 2014 #tmnt mikey 2016 #tmnt raph 2014 #tmnt x reader #bayverse turtles #tmnt donatello #tmnt donnie 2014 #tmnt donnie #angst #tmnt angst

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nonbinary-sticks-the-badger · 3 months

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the OFFICIAL sonatchet propaganda post from the REAL ceo of sonatchet

are you a fan of sonic the hedgehog? perhaps ratchet and clank is more your style? or maybe you like both? well, have I got the ship for you.

now, why should YOU ship sonatchet? it's simple: the franchises have so much in common. now, sonic fans, when i say, an anthropomorphic creature has to stop the evil capitalist baddie from taking over the world with his little buddy, smart as a whistle. along the way, he grinds rails, he follows his own path, not exactly good, but certainly heroic. he does this all with an absolutely brilliant soundtrack. and yeah, maybe the more recent games haven't been so good, writing and gameplay-wise, but hey, we're getting back on track.

what i have just described to you is ratchet and clank. initially created a year after everyone's golden child of sonic games, sa2, by ex-members of sonic team, ratchet and clank has been a vital part of my upbringing, more so than sonic has. for me, sonic is a more recent thing. i've been a fan since i was 5. when did i become a fan of r&c, you may ask? well, my first memory is my dad playing it in front of me, to give you an idea. i couldn't walk or speak properly, sat in a high chair, presumably eating soggy toast, one half marmite and the other of bovril. but, by that point, i was used to the experience - i can't even remember the first time i watched him play.

for any sonic fans who havent yet got the gist, imagine shadow the hedgehog (2005) with good writing that sounds like how actual people speak and less goofy weapons. edginess for the sake of humour rather than for edginess. oh also there is actual genocide in r&c1 quick heads up.

so, r&c fans, with it being far more mainstream, you're probably well aware of the overlap between the two franchises. hell, most of you reading probably are sonic fans. so, of course, i probably wont have to explain sonic in ratchet and clank terms. i want to but i wont. at the end of the day, all you need to know is that sonic is a hedgehog who runs fast and is kinda like ratchet.

THE SIMILARITIES

quickfire round! if it's in blue, it's headcanon, if it's plain text, it's canon!

transmasc and bi

somewhat morally grey, however definitely on the good side and classes themself as a hero

has a younger brother-figure/best friend who's good with electronics and can let him fly

has to fight robots

the biggest baddie is usually capitalism or actual cosmic horrors

space is vaguely related

sci fi

both quite calm and laid back but can get very serious and angry if you let them

adventurous travellers

fairly flirty but never seem to settle down (aroace reference?)

from what ive heard stc sonic is basically slightly angrier 2002 ratchet (i havent read stc though)

both almost the exact same age, with ratchet being 14-16, depending on which game, and sonic being 15

THE DIFFERENCES

ratchet LOVES weapons, with the vast arsenal being one of the main selling points of r&c1/sonic is known for spin dash

ratchet canonically has negative rizz (though i believe has had canon love interests iirc?)/sonic is attractive to almost everyone

ratchet has explored multiple galaxies/sonic has only explored a single planet and the odd space station

sonic is probably more likely to do the right thing

sonic is a giant environmentalist, literally has befriended nature/ratchet cares more about saving people than planets, unless it's an actual planet blowing up. like, the planet will cease to exist from quark's super laser piss or something

all of this ties together to create the wonderful ship we call sonatchet, a real and true yearning across franchises. truly, god made them in different game studios because he knew they would be unstoppable as canon lovers.

for any sonic fans wanting a really good comparison, id say the best i can give you is sonadow with a sonknux dynamic? though, not entirely. obviously, if there were a comparable ship, i wouldn't bother tagging in another guy from a completely seperate franchise, so please, please, understand the joys of sonatchet.

#sonic #ratchet and clank #sonatchet #sonic the hedgehog #ratchet the lombax

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meimi-haneoka · 1 year

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Cardcaptor Sakura Clear Card Chapter 67: Comments + JP-ENG translation differences

CCS fans!! Welcome back for another episode of “CLAMP are messing with my brain and I don’t like it”, aka Clear Card Arc! 😂We’ve reached Chapter 67, can you believe… For those who still don’t know, here’s a small reminder of the most important info we found out since last chapter: At the beginning of October (formalized on October 13th) we’ve got the confirmation that Cardcaptor Sakura Clear Card Arc will end with volume 14. In a Twitter Space of last week, CLAMP revealed that volume 14 will be a bit bigger (therefore, with more pages) than volume 13, which is already bigger than the standard. They haven’t announced exactly what will be the last chapter, so all we have left to do is enjoying these last chapters of the Clear Card saga, where we’ll find all the answers we’re looking for, as Ohkawa and Nekoi themselves reassured us in the same Space. In this chapter, for example, we start getting some answers about the current situation (I’m glad to see I was right on most things 😁)

Without further ado, let’s start this analysis/translation comparison thread, cause I feel there’ll be a lot to point out.

Gif of the month! 😂

The Color Page

Chapter 67 sees on the cover the spirits of two Cards that turned out to be absolutely crucial in this climax: Sakura Card Mirror and Clear Card Mirror, in a very “ying and yang” representation. The Japanese text over it quotes the words of the Card True or False back some chapters ago:

“You’ll have to ascertain… Is it a Lie (dream)? Or the Truth (reality)?

It’s interesting to note how Clear Mirror keeps the typical hair color that’s always been associated with Mirror, while the Sakura Card Mirror got this pinkish-purpleish tint to it. Was it always like this? We are used to the colors the anime canon sets as “official”, but as the manga canon sometimes switches things around (and this is seemingly the first time we have the spirit of a Card appearing on a color page), it might be a change done to distinguish the two Cards better.

The Cards Love Syaoran

We open the chapter with Syaoran waking up to the sound of someone calling him. It’s the Sakura Card Mirror, who confirms to him they’re at the edge of the world they’re currently all in. And lol, my readers, I already have to point out a translation mistake, since it’s important to understand why Syaoran is still inside this world…

ENG: You came to...just before you were driven out.

JP: You managed to stay here without being knocked off this world because [you realized] (the deceit).

So apparently, the fact Syaoran realized the deceit behind Mirror’s disguise (thanks to the absence of the shock, courtesy of Yelan) is what allowed him to stay here. It seems clear by now that if he kept believing the one he grabbed was Sakura, he would’ve been sent flying off this world and bye bye any remote chance to bring the real Sakura back. So again, a reiteration that Yelan’s spell ended up saving her son, one way or another. I think it was particularly brilliant because, even in the chance Kaito might have noticed the spell on him, he would’ve paid no mind, as apparently it was a spell with a “negative” connotation to the kids (and so, hard for Kaito to realize it would’ve actually helped Syaoran in this way). Syaoran realizes the spell is finally broken, and therefore he realizes it was his mother’s doing all along (for those wondering how, well, I can only imagine her son knows her and her methods that much). So we also got the confirmation that there’s no more “no-touch spell” and next time Sakura and Syaoran will be able to touch without any danger!

But the surprises are not over, as Syaoran realizes he’s got Flight on his back helping him staying “afloat” in the void.

And here we go again clarifying a part that’s pretty confusing in the ENG version in my opinion, it doesn’t explain exactly what Flight did here, beside mentioning something that is incorrect canon-wise.

ENG: I am Clow’s Mirror… Even if I look just like Sakura’s. The other Mirror copied the power of the Flight Card...so it remembered me. It saved me.

JP: I, Mirror (鏡), and (the other)Mirror (鏡像) have the same appearance. (The other) Mirror (鏡像) has copied Flight’s power before, so Flight remembered it and decided to help us out.

Sooooo. First of all. I get quite irked whenever the “old” Cards still get called “Clow Cards”, since the Clow Cards don’t exist anymore. It is factually wrong to call them as such because Sakura spent the entirety of the Sakura Card Arc making them be reborn under her name. The old incantation recited “Discard your old appearance and be reborn under your new Master’s name, Sakura”, after all. The Cards have all discarded their existence as Clow Cards and became Sakura Cards so long ago. Calling Mirror “Clow’s” here adds only confusion over confusion (before understanding what was happening, I really thought some shenanigan happened that nullified Sakura’s work on the Cards and somehow a Clow Card was able to come back!! WTF). If their intent was to distinguish Mirror (old) from Mirror (new), since they have the same name and we can’t use the kanji like the Japanese readers can do, they could’ve used any other trick. Call it “the other Mirror”, call it “the new Mirror” if you can’t use “Clear Card” because basically anyone has yet to call those cards “Clear Cards”, in the story. But if you say “I look like Sakura’s Card”, I will immediately think about all the Sakura Cards that are with Syaoran now, not the Clear Cards that Sakura is creating.

After this premise to point out that confusing mistake, this is what happened as I understood it: Flight and (Sakura)Mirror are from 2 different decks, so in theory they shouldn’t know eachother. But Sakura used the Mirror from the Clear deck on Flight before, so it is acquaintaned with that Card. Flight, seeing (Sakura)Mirror in that World, recognized her as having the same appearance as the Mirror from its own deck, made 2+2 (“this must be the Card our Master created Mirror from, since we’re all coming from her past experiences”) and decided to help her by preventing Syaoran to fall after passing out.

As we have all seen extensively throughout the series, Mirror confirms Flight loves Sakura very much, and apparently it loves Syaoran too, since Sakura means so much to him. Flight was also part of that special moment in the sky back in chapter 23, so it’s only normal it has come to know what’s really in Syaoran’s heart. Syaoran is very moved by all this trust in him and pats Flight in a very sweet way. I found this as a “convoluted” but probably necessary explanation as to why Flight would collaborate with Mirror to save Syaoran, despite supposedly not being acquainted with eachother. And then, Mirror apologizes profusely for deceiving Syaoran like that. If you pay attention, we reached a panel with Kaito, so do you think we escaped a translation mistake? Of course not, in fact: (yessir, I’ll call this ‘mistake’ because I’m tired to see him called as what NO one has ever called him in the series, perpetrating this misconception)

ENG: I let that man use me...to deceive you. JP: I let someone else use me to deceive you…

Yes, I am beyond done with the use of “that man” in relation to Kaito. Mirror here uses “someone else”. Besides, the ひと (hito) in 別のひと is written in hiragana. You might have heard me say this before, but apparently the use of hiragana instead of the kanji version for “hito” 人 represents warmth, a lack of animosity toward the person you’re talking about. When Syaoran talks about Kaito, he uses the same pattern. It’s not exclusive to them, as Kaito himself has used two different “ano hito” in relation to other people: with kanji (cold and detached) when talking about the Squids, and in hiragana (warm) when talking about Lilie. I saw my Japanese mutuals discussing about it more than once before, and I noticed it is a thing inside the story. So that “that man” that gives away so much bitterness is not only incorrect on a translation level, but also on an interpretation level. But, alas, we always have to make Kaito look worse than he is, right?(and I don’t think this chapter needed it, as he’s already behaving in the way he’s behaving. It’s like adding fuel to the fire).

Rant aside (it’s not over as there’ll be another instance shortly ahead), Syaoran reassured Mirror it’s not her fault, but rather his responsability for still being inexperienced. He goes to check for the Sakura Cards and….they’re not there in his pocket! Alas, Mirror confirms that the only Sakura Card allowed into this world is her, because Kaito brought her in. Again, we have the ENG translation using “that man”, but here in JP Mirror uses “the magician” instead (another name the people on Sakura’s team use very often to refer to Kaito). Mirror says that the new Cards that Sakura has been making are in this World too, but not all of them might move in Sakura’s interest like Flight did (“moving for her” rather than “answer to her”, as the ENG decided to translate it). We see an example of Shade, which has indeed moved in Kaito’s interest by destroying the scene with Tomoyo/Repair and bringing him and Sakura to the Red Queen, just like I had pointed out last time. Syaoran at this point doesn’t even know if his magic will work at all in this world, but he decides he has to carry on anyway, and Mirror pleads him to take her with him. Flight is absolutely wanting to be a part of this too, and Syaoran officially starts the “let’s go to Sakura” rescue operation!

All My Memories are Here

Right, where did we leave our “Sakura” last time? Alice is in the presence of the Red Queen, and as soon as she sees her, she’s about to shout her real name! It seems Sakura was about to recognize Akiho, but a strong headache messes with her head and she loses that glimpse of memory she was about to regain. The Cat, with a stern expression behind her, reminds her that she’s Alice, and so she introduces herself once again to the Red Queen. Again, Alice starts asking questions upon seeing the two people on the sides of the room. The Cat explains they are “The one who loves with kindness” and “The one who decides”. Interesting the choice in the ENG version where they translated 慈しむ者 with “the one who brings comforts”, as the verb 慈しむ expresses a very tender kind of love and affection (typical of parents for children). That same kanji is also present in the kanji name of the Kindness Card, so I would’ve appreciated the effort to include that nuance more. Alice, as she’s always been doing ever since she stepped foot into this World (guys, Sakura’s intuition is just that crazy good), asks the Cat: “For the Red Queen?” The Cat doesn’t answer (as usual), but his expression is once again very pensive. All these pressuring questions about the Queen...are pricking him where it’s needed to? We’ll see. The Red Queen welcomes Alice and, using the Transfer Card, teleports to Sakura, offering to be her guide throughout the castle. Another translation mistake: The Queen doesn’t say “take my hand” (do you actually see Alice taking the Queen’s hand, afterwards? Nope, indeed), but actually “touch it”, referring to Transfer’s target symbol. I want to remind you that Transfer was the one Card that Kaito commented “A pity. We were almost there” on. Transfer went very close, maybe even closer than the much more famous Rewind, to the Card Kaito wanted. We western fans don’t have much knowledge of it because the ENG translation back then translated his comment as just “oh well”. Back to us, Alice and the Red Queen get transported outside the Castle, to a place we have seen before….hehehe. Yes, this is the infamous botanical garden (would have it k1lled them to actually spell ‘botanical garden’ so it was clearer to everyone? We haven’t seen much of it back then so it might not be immediately recognizable to everyone)

The spread, of course, is absolutely stunning, as Mokona sensei got us accustomed to in this climax. The flowers are made of glass, and the Red Queen comments, while elegantly descending the stairs, that this place is very important, because it’s where all the memories are stored. Whose memories?, asks Alice, and the Queen cryptically answers “Someone’s”. Alice asks her if her memories are here too, to which the Queen replies affirmatively. Hence, I have to infer, the first person she was referring to wasn’t herself. Reflected in the big crystals, in the meantime, we see glimpses of the botanical garden we saw back in chapter 53.

Alice got the feeling she already knows this place.

ENG: Something tells me I’ve been here before...with someone very special to me. And I met someone very dear to me...and someone very dear to them. JP: I have the feeling I already know this “botanical garden”. I went there together with someone very special to me. Once there, I met someone very dear to me...along with that someone’s special person.

Cinzia, why being so nitpicky? Isn’t the meaning the same? No, it isn’t. Ohkawa tried to do something very clear here, and the way they translated it buried it under the sand. I just hope it’s carelessness and not a deliberate attempt at muddling something in the light of the finale. Basically, when Sakura was speaking, she made very clear the level of feelings between the two pairs, by using 2 distinctive adjectives: 特別なひと ("special person") to indicate the person Sakura is in love with

大切なひと ("important person") to indicate the feelings of someone being very dear to her

Sakura used "special person" to indicate Syaoran, but she used it ALSO when talking about Akiho's special person, Kaito. When talking about Akiho, instead, she used "important person". It was very very clear Ohkawa's intent here. "Kaito is to Akiho what Syaoran is to Sakura". Parallelism and such. So using “important person” in this context threw that subtle but important parallelism out of the window and watered down Akiho’s feelings as just the same level of friendship there is between her and Sakura. You should know by now that I wouldn’t tolerate that. 😂

Moving on (phew, so long), the two girls change location again. But we immediately realize the Cat was watching them from a distanced location and didn’t follow them suit. A voice starts talking…..and with absolute joy (from me) we realize it’s actually MOMO!! We only hear her voice and we don’t actually see her, but she tells him “Move them around, interfere with them, it’s all useless. This world, after all, is made by all the memories of Akiho, the one who calls me Momo and named this book ‘Alice in Clockland’...the memories of the girl who’s lost right now...and YOURS too, the one who activated the magic using this book” Basically here Momo is reprimanding Kaito because these little places made of memories that will “trigger” Sakura’s own memories will keep popping up, no matter how much he interferes, tries to steer Sakura’s attention or drags her away. So here we find out that not only Kaito’s subconscious is intertwined with this world, but Sakura’s and Akiho’s memories too. In that regard, we could say the rose garden appearing in last chapter might have been coming also from Akiho’s memories, in addition to Kaito’s. One curious thing I have to point out regarding the botanical garden is that, in theory, the two girls aren’t supposed to remember about it. Cause Kaito rewound the events of the botanical garden. While we might argue that Sakura, due to her powers, might have traces of these memories hidden down her subconscious, I still wonder if once again the place popped up from Kaito’s memories. After all, he’s the only one with clear memories of it and this was the place where Akiho went out of her way to invite him to. It must mean something to him too.

And here we basically get the confirmation of the thing I’ve been quite sure about since a couple of chapters ago, that is…..behind the Cat, there’s actually Kaito in disguise!!😂😂This rascal!! 😂 I mean, last chapter with some reactions of his he really let himself be caught, though 😝 Kaito answers to Momo that he’s been lucky the role of the Cat called for a calm and detached demeanor, and here Momo’s answers made me crack up big time!! 😂 “It would’ve been so much funnier if you had to play a spoiled brat….or a silly role” Kaito answers, with his usual demeanor between defiance and deference “I would’ve made an effort as far as possible” 😂😂😂NOW I want to see spoiled brat Kaito...no, wait...he already is one 😂

We find out from Momo that he used the Clear Mirror Card (note: Momo doesn’t say he stole that too, only that he used it…) to take the appearance of the next head of the Li family, but… Momo: “You can’t hide” Kaito: “What, my wickedness?” ( the JP didn’t use exactly “cruelty”) Momo: “No, your true nature” (I think the use of ‘nature’ here is important. It implies it’s the very opposite of “wicked”).

This is, I believe, a remark that pricked Kaito where he’s most vulnerable, as he gets up and he doesn’t even let Momo finish what she’s saying (something about even a little spell possibly doing damages to him, in the state he’s in right now?), stating he must be back to Alice’s side, as his role requires. We get the last confirmation that we’re currently inside Momo’s book, under the effect of a spell, and that the story is inexorably going towards “the beginning of the end”.

Back to the “outside world”, to Yukito & company, we see his barrier starting to deteriorate. Yukito is very tired and so is Touya. To avoid the spell from breaking, Yue talks to his “other self” and tells him:

JP: “Let’s swap. You and me are the same being, so I can keep this spell alive” "Ah, that's right. There's still my other's self power left" I've put the JP version here because that “traces” used by the ENG version might trick some people into getting a wrong interpretation, that is, that Yue was supposedly gone but there were actually still traces of him inside Yukito. None of this is really suggested in the JP version and the Spanish translation actually suggest Yukito was simply forgetting he could count on Yue as well. And so, Yue takes over and asks Nakuru to turn into Ruby Moon and act as a “battery”, to boost Yukito’s magic spell together...I found this a beautiful moment of collaboration and friendship beyween the two guardians!! They’ve come such a long way!! 🥲

The chapter ends with a BOOM: Yue threatens Syaoran to punch him if he doesn’t make it unscathed, and Touya agrees, saying “Hurry up and come back along with her...SYAORAN LI”.

GUYS GUYS TOUYA KINOMOTO CALLED SYAORAN WITH HIS FULL NAME 😂😂😂 Can you hear the wedding bells in the distance??? 😂This is like the “Big Brother” approval mark 😂

In this general climate of putting aside the differences, the animosity, to embrace others, I can’t help but yearning to see this climate extended to all the characters of Clear Card. I know this is what CCS is about, so I’ll just keep having faith and wait for that moment. It'll be a beautiful moment, I'm sure.

I have to run to bed but I wanted to get this thing out as soon as possible due to all the confusing things, so for now I'll just leave it here and as usual I'm available for more comments and theories in asks or comments! A quick reminder of the dates for the next chapter, chapter 68 (we're so close!!): November 28th, on Bookwalker/Azuki (digital, ENG) November 29th, on Clamp-fans (digital, JP and other languages) December 1st, on Comic-days (digital, JP ) and Nakayoshi (paper and digital, JP)

#cardcaptor sakura #card captor sakura #ccsakura #clear card arc #ccs spoilers #translation differences #chapter 67 #sakura card captor #sakura kinomoto #akiho shinomoto #yuna d. kaito #syaoran li #...my sis will scold me tomorrow

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eternalwritess · 22 days

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Hey, I'm that anon that was matched with Charlie a while back (the one with the soy sauce packets). I was wondering if you could match me with one of the Helluva Boss characters?

It's the same info as before \/

I'm a bisexual aroace (If you've heard of "demiromantic"; that's how I experience romantic attraction). I use he/it/they pronouns.

I'm an INFP, though I have gotten ISTP sometimes. I usually keep to myself around strangers, and my first words to people that I'm not introduced by friends are usually just work-related with a bit of small talk (even in fandom spaces, surprisingly). Once I get comfortable around people, I tend to let my childish nature and antics shine through, and once I consider you a friend, it's hard to ever fully shake me off. My friends sometimes call me an "old grandpa", with the way I know a lot of random psychology and biology facts, and the way I fumble with new technology, slang, and texting acronyms. My love of non-fiction and my adherence to grammar rules certainly doesn't help. Simultaneously, they (lovingly) call a 12-year-old boy, with the way I don't hesitate to pull out a "your mom" or "that's what she said" to the conversation and with the way that I almost exclusively watch animated movies and shows over live action ones. I carry with me 15 packets of soy sauce in fish-shaped sachets in my (several) pockets. Why? Because I think it's funny, and the confusion I bring to those around me with my soy collection gives me a sense of joy. (I do other things of a similar calibre, but I wanted to name an example) Despite all of this, I tend to gravitate towards the "Mom Friend" archetype. I carry with me a lot of people pleasing tendencies (I get a lot of anxiety around not upsetting others), and that translates to making sure that the people around me are happy. I also tend to fill a "Therapist Friend" role because of this fact, my psychology facts, and how intuitive I can be at times. I tend to isolate myself, whether by physically or mentally leaving the room, when I feel upset, and I don't really like talking about negative experiences I have unless those experiences have been resolved.

On a brighter note, I consider myself quite the creative person. I draw a lot, though I usually only draw other characters instead of my own OCs. I have a discord server that I use to jot down either: a) my opinion of a certain media b) images/reactions I find funny/relatable c) infodumps about AUs or crossovers that I've made I don't really write, so I consider "c)" to be the next best thing. I also love music. I listen to mostly indie music, with a couple of generic queer bands thrown in there and a couple of musicals' and video games' OSTs. I play the violin and the trombone, so I may be biased in saying that I love jazz (really doesn't help the "old man" allegations, but who cares). In terms of non-creative hobbies, I love reading. Although I find myself drawn to the odd science non-fiction book, my heart lies in fantasy and mystery novels (this does include webtoons, manga, and webnovels, though I don't read those as much). On the same vein, I love video games (where else would I get those OSTs?). I tend to like story-rich games that are either turn-based (think Undertale) or no combat (think Slime Rancher), though if the mechanics aren't too overwhelming, metroidvanias are nice (think Hollow Knight). The last main hobby is food. If I didn't give you "mad scientist" vibes, let me tell you, I "Victor Frankenstein" my way through every meal, when time permits. I mostly mix and match what I'd think taste good together based on what I was craving at the time. I'd also say that, apart from Quality Time, I show affection best through giving foods that I've made. It works in reverse, too, where I get pleasantly happy when people I know well offer food to me. There was this one time I was bickering with some friends and one of them held a packet of chips to my face, and I tell you, the way I immediately shut up the second I saw it... I was almost embarrassed by how well that worked...

I'm really sensitive to a lot of textures, and the biggest ones are stickers (and anything sticky in that way) and wet things (think water fountains splashing water unexpectedly, fruit juices spraying on my face when I cut them too harshly, even stepping on wet floorboards without socks can set it off). Clothing/carpet with short hairs send literal shivers down my spine, but only when I touch them with my fingers/feet. I don't like kissing (at all.), so I normally stick with nuzzling. Hugs and spooning (both with people I'm comfortable around) are okay, however.

I don't really have any pet peeves, other than just blatant disrespect of basic boundaries as well as these boundaries in particular.

I hope you have a good and well-rested day :)

𝕐𝕠𝕦 𝕙𝕒𝕧𝕖 𝕓𝕖𝕖𝕟 𝕞𝕒𝕥𝕔𝕙𝕖𝕕 𝕨𝕚𝕥𝕙…

𝓜𝓸𝔁𝔁𝓲𝓮!

Honestly the first person that came to mind for you is Moxxie

The way you two met is that he probably say you trying to mediate between an argument with a few others it started getting a little... dicey so he decided to step in before you got hurt

Yeah so those guys are now dead-

He made sure that you were okay immediately afterwards

"Are you okay? Some people in Hell are just so unreasonable,"

After that he offered to walk you somewhere safe (at first he offered to your house but then started stumbling seeing how weird it sounded since you both just met)

He tried getting you talk on the way asking you small questions here and there trying to get to know you more since he found the way you handled the situation between the two guys amazing

"So what do you like to do for fun?"

Once you let your guard down he really fell in love with you

He absolutely adored your more childish nature and it would push him out of his boundaries just a little more

You and him would absolutely bond over not understanding the internet. You would both try to learn it and Blitz (idk how to do the o thing) would try to 'help' you guys (just make fun of you)

He would randomly asking you questions loving your random psychology and biology facts. He admires your will to learn and finds it as one of the most attractive things about you

"Do you know what this is?"

Whenever you pull out a 'your mom' joke he finds it slightly immature and doesn't get it all of the time but Blitz likes it and will encourage you on it

Either way though he finds your sense of humor quite nice compared to Blitz's

He doesn't know why you have the soy sauce packets... its a mystery to him

"May I ask... why?"

You and him probably read series's of books together like honestly I wouldn't doubt it. Its one of the many things you do together

Whenever you get upset and leave the room he gets concerned and will try to give you space but might end up following you and trying to comfort you. But if he sees that you just really want to be alone he'll leave you and apologize

He'll then grab some of your favorite stuff for you and surprise you with it trying to make sure that you're alright

"I know you're having a bad time so... I grabbed a few things for you"

He encourages you to be creative all of the time constantly buying you drawing supplies and praising your work. He hangs it up everywhere... and makes sure that everyone knows that you did it and that its the best artwork in the seven rings

While you and him might not have the same music tastes he loves you anyways and will end up writing songs for you

"I made a little something for you..."

Whenever he hears you play the violin or trombone he swoons and will start hugging you and nuzzling you whenever you're done

Sometimes you both play duets together and afterwards he'll always praise you saying how well you did

Whenever he sees you mix and match food he gets confused and will give you the weirdest little look ever as if he's questioning his life decisions...

But besides that he'll just give you an awkward thumbs up

:Thumps up:

He gets you food... like all of the time. He loves gift giving if you can't tell by now-

Whenever there's a texture that you don't like and it comes into contact with you he'll help you get it off always

He always follows your boundaries no matter what <3

It took him a while to open up to you about his past and he didn't share all of it... but you comforted him through it

#hellaverse #helluva boss #match up #matchups #matchup

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applesooyoung · 2 years

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ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ ✷GUIDELINES!✷

Temp abt me: ★ me but as a carrd !!

1.] FIRST AND MOST IMPORTANT RULE: MINORS DNI! DO NOT INTERACT!! YES, I WRITE FLUFF BUT YOU HAVE A CHANCE TO GET EXPOSED TO NSFW OR 18+ CONTENT BECAUSE I WRITE NSFW SO IT IS BETTER FOR YOU TO NOT BE HERE. LEAVE US ADULTS. PLEASE

2.] I don’t do series/long fanfics, I’m really sorry... due to the work-study routine of your local potato author, she doesn’t have enough time to do these kinds of stuff so the only things I post are:

- reactions

- most likely to

- fake texts

- drabbles

- short imagines (that's literally the same thing as drabbles but who cares)

- timestamp scenario

tho if the audience requested, some drabbles/imagines could have their own parts or sequels

3.] Genres I post:

-smut

-fluff

-angst

-crack

4.] Genres I DONT post for:

- w/ xenophobic, homophobic, misogynistic, or sexist elements

- self-harm/suicidal/gore

- NSFW for minors

- Pedophilia

- Incest

- w/ ED and SA elements

- Sadistic stuff (nsfw-wise, anything included in the bdsm spectrum)

- rape/non-consensual

- weird fetishes (feet, eyeball, armpit etc.) not that I kink and fetish shame, I'm just not comfortable writing those.

- anything that has to do with bodily fluids (I ONLY TOLERATE SPIT AND CUM)

5.] Limit of 5 requests per user a day

6.] For NSFW posts, I’ll only accept the LEGAL members, I STRICTLY prohibit any NSFW requests for minor members of groups I write for

also read: under construction pls wait!

7.] I don’t have any posting schedule cuz again, *insert 2nd guideline here* tho, I don’t really sleep I’m probably working on sum requests all day. . . (keyword: PROBABLY)

8.] Some post will be from a female’s point of view unless I'm feeling to write requested non-gendered post (We support everyone here 🏳️‍🌈)

9.] My blog is a space for comfort for whoever needs or feels it in my blog. Please if you need someone to talk to, feel lonely, or just simply bored; don’t be shy and talk to me via private message on my Tumblr acc. I’ll try my best to read it ASAP and provide you comfort when you needed it the most.

10.] I won’t allow any mean comments towards me or any of my friends. Yes, I do accept constructive criticism to myself and my works but I won’t allow any mean or hateful comments in my blog, such acts of negative behaviour in my blog will be deleted.

#guidelines

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vistasmkt22 · 2 years

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STAY IN LINE - THE FORMAT

REPORT- MS WORD:

· Font: Times New Roman

· Font Size: Body 12, Headings 14 (Bold)

· Alignment: Main headings centre-aligned; Subheadings left-aligned; and body justified.

· Line Spacing: 1.5

· Cover Page, Table of Contents and Page Numbers are necessary.

· Table of contents format: S.NO; Particulars; Page numbers.

· Borders on the pages are required.

· Report must be converted to pdf.

PPT Format –

· Between 5-10 slides for most rounds.

· Heavy use of SmartArt and Charts.

· All your presentations should follow a 7*7 rule, which means no more than 7 words and 7 lines should be present in a particular slide and should be saved &submitted in the same format (ECO00_RoundName).

Print Ad Format –

· A3 format

· Use Canva/ photoshop/ any other professional software you are comfortable with

· Pixels: higher than 1080p

· Logo on the bottom right corner

· Unique hashtag on the bottom left corner

· Convert file to PDF.

· All of them to be posted on your Instagram account.

· Visuals>text is expected.

Submissions Format -

· File Name Format: ECO Number_Task Name_Full Name (eg. ECO 01_Marketing plan Vedanta)

· E-Mail Subject Format: ECO Number_Task Name_Full Name (eg. ECO 01_Marketing Plan_Vedanta)

· All submissions must be sent from your Christ ID only to [email protected]

· Formatting irregularities will lead to negative marking.

Don't worry you'll get the hang of it!

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ncon29 · 1 month

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Helvetica - The Documentary

The Rise, Flatline, and Fall of the Modernist Movement's Darling Poster Child

Name: Helvetica (Die Neue Haas Grotesk) Parents: Max Miedinger and Eduard Hoffmann Nicknames: "Perfection" / "Ubiquitous" / "Air" / "Ultimate Typeface"

1950’s - post-war period - feeling of idealism

Social responsibility for designers

More democracy, clarity, rebuilding

Early experiments of High Modernist period - Swiss style

1957 - HELVETICA IS BORN !!! - rational typeface for all kinds of information to present ideas in intelligible/legible way - loud and clearly modern

Interesting that early modernism (dadaism, futurism, surrealism) was more subversive and that functionality emerged later

Would you use Helvetica in your designs?

I don't have particularly strong feelings toward it. Jonathan Hoefler says "it's like off-white paint" and many of the other designers in the documentary say it's like air. It's just there. I would use it if it matches the look that I'm going for, but I typically prefer more expressive typefaces - I'd probably manipulate the original form, at least. It's ubiquitous, versatile, and functional, sure, but why would I use it when there are so many other typefaces. Bit corporate. Bit SnoozeVille.

Like Rick Poynor put it (regarding designing with Helvetica over a period of time), “There’s a law of diminishing returns”. More exposure -> more use by designers -> more predictability -> uh oh it's dull now.

No flavour is the point but that doesn't mean I have to love it.

It's ok but why limit yourselfffff (to one type family). I guess to push your ideas as a designer. But experimenting outside that seems more fun to me. Some people favour restrictions though, so to each their own.

My view leans towards that of Erik Spiekerman (Gemini King), who says “[Type] just makes my words visible” and that “A real typeface needs rhythm, needs contrast; It comes from handwriting. That’s why I can read your handwriting, and you can read mine. And I’m sure out handwriting is miles away from Helvetica… But we can read it because there’s rhythm to it, there’s a contrast to it.” Obviously, you can't always read handwriting, but personally I'm pretty good at it and find it much more compelling than consistent, uniform typefaces. Spiekerman on letters designed to look the same: "Hello??? You know, that’s called an army. That’s not people.” This sentiment is interesting and appeals to me, because I like it when type has personality, as it's a means for social communication -- informed by people. Then again, uniformity is just another style. But, I personally like when you can tell that a human being made something with heart and intention, and if you can do that with Helvetica, then knock yourself out ig. Michael C Place expresses that though he doesn't know the fancy type terminology, he values the emotional response that type can bring and enjoys "the challenges of making Helvetica speak in a different way”. I can admire that idea: Originality with Helvetica depends on execution.

I do like how the designers in the doco describe the typeface in regard to the space between characters as opposed to the space that the characters fill. Mike Parker says “It’s not a letter that’s bent to shape; It’s a letter that lives in a powerful matrix of surrounding space”. The negative space is said to contain the characters which is an effective, formidable way to put it. Similarly, Massimo Vignelli says "typography is really white" which I find to be a refreshing perspective.

Would you use Helvetica for one context (type of work/audience) but not another?

Yes, as long as it suits the content, my vision/the client's vision. It would not be my first choice unless I was going for that neutral look, modernist style, or just maximising attention to the actual text, rather than its appearance.

Not as passionate about this topic as some designers involved in the documentary but it's fun/ny to watch them talk about it with such vigour.

____________________________________________________________

Michael Bierut: “In Helvetica. Period. Any questions? Of course not”

Wim “Gridnik” Crouwel:

“But if I see today's designers, they use all typefaces-one day one typeface, the other day the other typeface, all in favor of a certain atmosphere, I'm not... I don't like that... The meaning is in the content of the text, not in the typeface.”

Why must the meaning derived from either or be mutually exclusive ? Surely both the content and typeface can be used to amplify the message. It's about feeling and communication. Typefaces are just tools. Ricky P says type gives words "a certain colouring" which conveys a sense of a ranging intensity.

Paula Scher: "I was also morally opposed to Helvetica because I viewed the big corporations that were slathered in Helvetica as sponsors of the Vietnam War." <- Personal, moral implications.

Massimo Vignelli: thinks postmodernism is a DISEASE

Tobias Frere-Jones: Type Expression = important

“The same way that an actor that's miscast in a role will affect someone's experience of a movie or play that they're watching. They'll still follow the plot, but, you know, be less convinced or excited or affected.”

David Carson

“Don’t confuse legibility with communication.” I agree.

“If something is a very important message and it’s set in a boring, non-descript way, the message can be lost.” I neither agree nor disagree. Depends on execution.

Questions:

Why are there so many Michaels?

How was Erik's birthday?

Why do I prefer this typeface to Helvetica? It's cuter.

✋︎ ⬥︎♋︎■︎⧫︎ ⧫︎□︎ ⬧︎♏︎♏︎ ⧫︎♒︎♏︎❍︎ ❍︎♓︎��︎ ♋︎■︎♎︎ ❍︎♓︎■︎♑︎●︎♏︎ ♌︎♏︎♍︎♋︎◆︎⬧︎♏︎ ♓︎⧫︎ ⬥︎□︎◆︎●︎♎︎ ♌︎♏︎ ♐︎◆︎■︎■︎⍓︎ ✏︎

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102571508 · 1 year

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W8: Face Filters

This week the focus was on augmented filters on social media platforms, with the reading focussing specifically on Snapchat filters or lenses. The reading written by Jessica Barker in 2020, ‘Making-up on mobile: The pretty filters and ugly implications of Snapchat’ discussed how Snapchat, which was “originally praised as a space for authentic, unfiltered self-presentation, became a force for aggressively perpetuating fashionable but exclusionary beauty ideals” (Barker, 2020, p. 207) through the use of homogenous standard beauty and surgery filters, following Western beauty ideals. Snapchat, which has over “383 million daily active users worldwide” (Statista, 2023) introduced “lenses – commonly known as face filters – in 2015” (p. 207), they allow users to apply augmented reality (AR) filters to their selfies and videos. These filters use facial recognition technology to track a user's face and overlay digital effects and animations onto it in real-time. The filters “apply virtual accessories and modify facial features, enabling users to incorporate augmented reality into their daily sartorial practice and self-presentation” (Barker, 2020, p. 208), being able to have access to a technology that instantly changes people to change their appearance can have both positive and negative outcomes. Some positives that come from these face filters on social media platforms include, self-expression and exploring one’s self identify so accessibly, this can allow people to be more comfortable with themselves. They also create a space for fun and entertainment, with the less serious and more playful filters. However there are many negatives that come with face altering filters, including the fact they can “morph [people] into compliance with a stereotypical form of beauty” (Barker, 2020, p. 208) as filters generally are not inclusive and portray unrealistic “feminine beauty ideals” (Barker, 2020, p. 209) specifically.

Filters have progressed majorly since when they were first introduced to now, “filters initially produced conspicuous, playful forms of editing” (Lavrence & Cambre, 2020, p.2) and these novel filters have shifted to a more “subtler ambient form of editing, where it is not always obvious, have been normalised” (Lavrence & Cambre, 2020, p.2). These ambient filters create ‘natural’ beauty and within this style of selfies it’s “presumed to be both ‘real’ and yet ‘not actual’” (Lavrence & Cambre, 2020, p.2) at the same time and “‘real’ in this context does not mean raw, but rather ‘filtered to look natural’” (Lavrence & Cambre, 2020, p.5), with subtle filtering that passes as ‘natural’. These filters are becoming more and more inescapable and advanced across most social media platforms.

References:

Barker, J. (2020). Making-up on mobile : The pretty filters and ugly implications of Snapchat.

Dixon, S., & 2, M. (2023). Snapchat Daily Active Users 2023. Statista. https://www.statista.com/statistics/545967/snapchat-app-dau/#:~:text=As%20of%20the%20first%20quarter,since%20the%20beginning%20of%202019

Lavrence, C., & Cambre, C. (2020). “Do I Look Like My Selfie?”: Filters and the Digital-Forensic Gaze. Social Media + Society, 6(4), 205630512095518–

#mda20009 #saynotounrealisticfacefilters

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elemlibletlib · 2 years

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PROMO 101

Task 1: Create a hypothetical paper promotional flyer (from scratch) for a school library event using design theory and digital tools.

The process:

I started with the print flyer and I decided to use Canva, a free to use graphic design tool, as my medium to complete the design task at hand. The instruction for the printed flyer indicated that a template could not be used. First things first, Robin Williams, in her design book, The Non-Designer's Design Book, suggests to, "Experiment with the graphic image or photograph at least twice the size you originally planned." That said, I used a minimalist approach with a large graphic to create a strong focal point in order to more easily draw attention to my promotional flyer. The text I used was minimal and meant to guide you visually through the design. For example, I used the acronym SLM (School Library Month) as my header and then expanded the acronym on the lower half of the flyer. Additionally, I took inspiration from the original manifesto for SLM from the ALA website dedicated to SLM as a way to brand the event as well as the library space. From a color standpoint, I chose to maintain my minimalistic approach with minimal color and keep the large center graphic as the star of the show. I built the design from the center out.

From there, I used a familiar "table of content" layout to display the series of fictitious events being held by my school library. I chose to do this because I felt it reiterated a visual theme of literacy and reading from familiar visual schemas. The final touches included personalizing the flyer with a bitmoji graphic (teacher branding at its finest), a Twitter handle, and fine print directions for further questions. Can I see this flyer on a bulletin board in my school? Yes. Do I see student's and staff stopping after glancing at the flyer? Yes.

Task 2: Create a hypothetical DIGITAL promotional flyer for the same school library event using design theory and digital tools.

The process:

The digital promotional flyer that I designed was also created using Canva. Canva is a great tool that is user friendly, easy to use, and intuitive. For this segment of the design process I used a free template that was available from a stock selection on Canva and chose to use a template with deeper, richer colors. Being that this flyer is digital, I felt that it was a wise move to use a bold color story that draws attention to the content, but also gave me the opportunity to create negative space with my text. This was effective at creating contrast and helped draw attention to the written content of my flyer. In doing this, a harmony between graphics and text was created. Furthermore, the ALA website dedicated to SLM also provides graphics, a PowerPoint template, and a poster that can be used to design in-house SLM celebrations provided that no alterations are made and that the posting is for education, noncommercial purposes only; moreover, these free resources shaped the official "tone" of my flyer and provided further effective event branding.

Additionally, the use of shapes (squares and circles) provided further contrast and supported the additional graphics used (bitmoji & Twitter handle).

#LIS724 #PromotionalFlyer #DigitalDesign #futurereadylibs #tlchat #Canva #Design #MLIS #SchoolLibrary #SLM

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mmysstical · 3 years

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✦ Spiritual hygiene for online readings ✦

applicable for those seeking and those providing them.

Those tips apply for spiritual practices in general too!

Greetings !

There’s has been an explosion of online readings in the past years, including many free divination services and games. I'm talking about tarot and all cartomancy instruments, cowrie readings, intuitive readings, astrology, runes, oneiromancy, etc. It’s awesome, truly ! Best time to be a psychic 😂 But there are a couple rules you can apply to get a good experience out of this.

I want to give some spiritual hygiene advice in order for you to protect yourself and get the most out of any reading, if you wanna partake. The post has general advice, a section for querents/clients that seek (free) readings. But there's one for readers looking to offer said services, and that want to protect themselves and minimise undesirable side effects of providing readings for other people.

CLEANSE AND BLESS YOUR DEVICES (and you)!

I have to credit @manynamedshe for this, with this post.

Cleanse and anoint your technology.

That includes phone, laptop, tablet, consoles, etc. You can simply bless your screen cleaning solution, to start. Removing physical dirt is the first step to removing unwanted spiritual gross stuff, and this reasoning applies to everything: your person (!), your house, car, closet, office, what have you. Just be careful to avoid microphones, and any water sensitive part of them, if you choose to use a liquid to clean(se).

Cleansing can also apply to the contents of your devices: delete old texts, especially if you’re they’re negative, random or tie you in the past. Same with screenshots, old files, notes or even apps. You’re making space for something new and more in tune with your current needs and desires. You can also change your protective sleeve or case if they’re old and damaged.

Then, you can apply/use any blessing or protective powder, liquid, spell, plant, sigils, charms, etc. to protect yourself against any unwanted energy, evil eye, energy vampires, any stagnancy, spiritual attacks or even from scrolling endlessly ! Be creative, but be precise with what you ask for, if you can. You can also use reversal spells, if applicable. Blessings and spells need a good cleanse first to work effectively.

Cleanse yourself (and do some self-care).

I think this one is a little bit less forgotten than the former part. You're about to read or be read. You want the best connection and clarity possible. This is for both parties.

Start with the physical stuff. Take a shower. BRUSH YOUR TEETH. (I swear this really takes you far). Be in a clean space. Make your bed. Open the window. I could go on. Try to tie or cover your hair/head if you can. Wash your hands if you do the readings. Be in a good mood (if you can)! Be well-rested, eat something and drink water. Those are the most important. For Black people especially…Avoid dressing in black: white is the best color for that, but blue and purple work very well. Black can be a protective color but it also absorbs energy. So ditch it and you won’t keep too much extra energy on you. You can spray some good-smelling house spray or incense too. Light a candle, put relaxing music.

Ask/pray/do rituals for your head to be clear, for your words to ring true, for the energy to flow. For the exchange to go smoothly. Anything relevant to you and your practices, you say.

The more you prepare and take this seriously, the better your experience it will be. You're showing to the universe/your guides/your ancestors, etc. your willingness to hear about the future or access sensitive information that is practically impossible to get outside divination. You're gazing into the future. You put in the effort, okay ? So they need to deliver!

I'll give some more advice below, to correspond on your side of the fence (reader or querent).

FOR CLIENTS: Finding the best reader and/or service.

salespersons in a store.

There is an endless offer of services. Some will be more or less fitting for your needs, wants, budget, personality, current issues. You might have to browse a bit to find what you exactly want. But not too much or you'll get carried away. But regardless of that, the common sense of shopping somewhere apply. Greet the person in front of you. Thank them for their time once you're done. Discuss and ask questions so you can both narrow down what you're getting. This will reduce unnecessary frustration born of miscommunication.

How to narrow down my choice ?

Here, the 1st most helpful thing is your INTUITION/GUT FEELING. The world's best reader won't help you if you don't vibe with them, and subconsciously are closed off from them, energetically. And then, the 2nd thing to use: your reading comprehension and communication skills. Really !

3rd best thing is reading the rules, services of your reader, and the former querents' testimonials. The first and second ones will help you see if there's what you seek, if there's something more fitting offered by the reader, or if you should do business elsewhere. The latter is more of a sample of their services. Especially for games that happen in asks/reblogs. Is the reading style okay with you ? Are you okay with brutally honest readers? With those that will provide what you need to hear and not want ? (that's most good readers, and ideally most readers period). But they mustn't bypass/dodge your question. Or they should tell you they won't answer that. Do you want readers that provide advice/"homework"? (that's mostly paid readings). Are the topics mentioned okay for you? Is the reader providing what you need ? For example: you may be wanting a 18+ relationship reading (with some graphic elements) and the reader may not offer them.

If the answer is "no" to those questions, just consider not getting a reading, or seeking another reader. When in doubt, you can just ask politely though.

Which questions will help me get the best answer possible?

I'll make a post for good questions to ask, but there are lots of good ones on Tumblr already. I'll link my own tag here. Don't forget to adapt this to the rules of your readers !

General rules: asking about yourself/your POV/your shortcomings/qualities/etc. and being willing to hear hard things will help. Nothing is set in stone in your life so you can change the icky stuff for the better. And the more you'll know about yourself, the more in charge of your destiny you'll be. Open questions for in-depth topics work well.

Asking about someone else may not work if they’re closed off to you, have protection up etc. moreover, they have free will and you can’t make them do what you want.

Here is also a good post about what red flags in readings (thank you @immortalink).

IMPORTANT PSA ABOUT ENERGY EXCHANGE: Especially for free readings.

Do not engage in any reading if you have a bad feeling. If your intuition tells you "no", or hesitate a lot. Do not hesitate to bypass getting a reading if you're just extremely skeptical or didn't engage in basic steps to make the experience good.

Saying bye or thank you, washing your face, or sweeping the floors can be good ways to close a reading and get rid of some energy you don’t like. Take extra steps only if it lingers.

FOR READERS: ATTRACTING THE RIGHT CROWD (and having a good time)!

Getting your client base (without a headache).

Readers: you can pray or use spells to attract clients that fit your services or match your energy, or make undesirable people leave (see section above). By that I mean rude people, people who never read rules or people who want readings you’re not providing, anons that harass you. This method works especially well with conjured items, but any magic is suitable (Black folks only). Feel free to HMU if you’re Black and you’d like some combos and rituals that work well !

However, start with stating your rules and boundaries clearly. And over and over (and over!) again. Save your energy for actual readings. Have them in your bio and your pinned post. Have a carrd if you want. Regularly reblog posts with your rules in it. Indicate the form of payment again. Also say clearly what sort of business you WON’T do/will ignore. List: your tools/services, what you need to perform the service (a name? initials? an emoji ? an email address? just payment? Tumblr handle?). You can also give length of the readings and the contents (that's more for paid readings).

Many people don’t do health matters, legal issue or readings involving death. Or 3rd party readings. Or 18+ readings. Or love readings. That's fine, but state it clearly and someplace visible.

But, also indicate everywhere if you have a dedicated service that covers a certain topic and you won’t mention it elsewhere. I took inspiration from @clairdevenus on Twitter, a traditional astrologer and tarot reader. (her service page especially inspired me. Find it here) For example: you offer tarot, playing cards and oracle cards readings. Say in the description of all 3 that you will only cover [past life] readings in tarot. Especially if you’re popular for past life readings. Some people will only read until they find the service they’d like. Or won’t read past asks saying “I only read past life readings with tarot”.

Spiritual hygiene tips

Bless your instruments always. Tie your hair or cover it with a scarf if you can, especially if you're prone to spiritual headaches. Wash your hands. Anoint yourself with oils/concoctions of your practices for clarity, but also for protection. Especially your hands and forehead.

If you do back-to-back readings, change clothes when you're done for the day. Take a shower and ask for it to be cleansing, or use conjured/magickal baths, oils or soap to cleanse things away the energy if it was taxing. Have a dedicated space that is enclosed to put your instruments away and out of sight (if you don't have one already), especially if you did exhausting readings. Cleanse your instruments before.

Bless the food and/or drinks you'll consume after readings, so that you may get energy back. Or your good mood, or whatever you feel necessary.

Sweep the floors, shake your tarot mat (outside), do some cleansing in your space regularly.

PSA FOR FREE READINGS

From @manynamedshe again ! She’s a well of wisdom.

Please ask your divination instruments if you can even do free readings ! And ask them (especially your tarot cards) if they’re fine with reading for strangers in general.

Even more if you’re prone to entities spiritually latching onto you, or to being victim of energy vampires (physical or spiritual!), if your birth chart or any divination performed on you asked you not to provide such work for free.

In my culture, we say that working for any stranger for free, especially without vetting them (as one can in-person) will make you lose your luck and blessings in a permanent manner. Especially when performed repeatedly. I’m pretty sure this is something from African diasporas.

I hope you enjoyed this post! Lemme know if you have any questions or additions.

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blindingdutchy · 3 years

Text

lamentation | FOUR

{peter parker x fem!reader AU}

based on All the Bright Places by Jennifer Niven

SERIES MASTERLIST

word count: 3,907

warnings: angst, talk of death/tragedy, a little fluff

18+!!! minors stay away

At school the following week you were more than a little embarrassed. Peter Parker had seen you outside of school twice, and both times you'd been a crying, hysterical mess. Granted, you were a hysterical mess all the time anymore, but you usually kept that very well suppressed. Then along came Peter, and suddenly there was another person outside of your family who knew just how messed up you were.

He didn't mention it, which you were thankful for. You could see that he was concerned, though, with the way his eyes seemed to linger on you during every silence. His worry and pity only made you more resentful of the things you had shown him.

You'd shown up to school the morning after he showed up in your room, and you weren't at all surprised to see him lingering by your locker with an antsy jitter as he rocked back and forth on his feet. What had surprised you, though, was the fact that once he saw you were present he simply nodded at you and walked away. Was that his idea of a truce? An understanding?

Whatever it was, you had been thankful for it. The last thing you had wanted that morning was to talk to Peter, knowing he'd certainly want to talk about the events of the night, and you were relieved to get a little break from his constant presence. He still sat by you in classes, but he didn't pester with you his usual chatter, nor did he follow you to your locker even once.

The trend had continued for most of the week, and you had to admit you were starting to feel a little more isolated without his overbearing company. It was strange--you almost, emphasis on almost, missed him. You'd grown used to ignoring his borderline stalker-like tendencies, and now without him around to ignore, you felt lonely. Lonelier than you already had been, anyways.

At home, things were just as cold and distant. Your mother was in a slump again following your outburst at dinner, and you were beating yourself up over it endlessly. She'd been doing good, finally, and you'd just had to have gone and ruined all of her progress.

She'd been holed up in her bedroom ever since that evening. Not even your father was able to get her to let him in, and in turn he was banished to the sofa night after night. As such, you were feeling the ice from your mother and your father alike. You couldn't blame him, really, because the sofa was definitely not the most comfortable for sleeping.

It felt a little like your life was falling apart all over again since your birthday. The childish, bitter part of you wanted to blame Peter, because it would have been so easy to blame the only thing that had changed in your life, but you knew better. It was you. You were the cause for everything that was going wrong, and you didn't know how to stop it.

Why couldn't you just be better? The whole world was moving on, making progress, and yet you were stagnant. You didn't understand why you couldn't let go of all the heavy things holding you down, holding you back, but you just couldn't. Grieving her wasn't getting easier, and you didn't know how to try and make that change.

"Are you alright?"

Startled by the sudden return of Peter's voice, you jumped in your seat and blinked at him in surprise. It had been such a long week of near radio silence from him that you were shocked to be acknowledged by him, despite the fact that you'd been sitting beside him for the entirety of your Speech class. You'd almost started to wonder if maybe he was ignoring you, though you didn't exactly try to talk to him either.

Quietly, you mumbled, "Not really, but that's normal these days."

It was only then that you realized class was over, students packing up and filing out of the classroom eagerly in anticipation of the weekend. You'd been far more spaced out than you had thought--it felt like just moments ago you were sitting down and waiting for class to begin. You awkwardly began to pack up your untouched classwork and Peter did the same, neither of you quite sure what to say to the other.

Ever since she died, you had an uncanny ability to make any and every situation uncomfortable without really trying. It started with your inability to contain your emotions in response to the thousands of condolences you received over those first few days, and then the more you secluded yourself it only got worse. People looked at you strangely and whispered when they thought you couldn't hear them. They thought you were a ticking time bomb, and in a sense they were correct.

Maybe that was the reason you weren't quite as adamant about pushing Peter away as you were others. He didn't look at you that way, nor did he whisper hushed words about you that would surely make your ears burn when you overheard. Both times that he had seen you in a horrible state, he'd only looked at you with concern and worry. Not once had you seen him give you those all too familiar apprehensive stares, and you were grateful for it.

Realizing you were moving at a strangely slow pace, and Peter was anxiously waiting for you to finish, you cleared your throat and muttered, "Do you want to start the project tomorrow? Or tonight, if you're not busy."

"Um," Peter stammered, not bothering to hide his surprise at your offer, "sure. Tonight is fine if--if that's okay with you."

The two of you stared at each other in silence for a moment, neither of you quite comfortable with the sudden change in atmosphere. Zipping your backpack, you stated, "Yeah, great."

"Great!" Peter echoed, and you both turned and hurried away from each other in discomfort.

When you told your father that Peter Parker was coming over that night you weren't entirely sure what to expect. The reaction you received, however was so far off your radar it scared you a little. He'd nearly wept with joy, kissing your cheek and saying he was proud of you for making friends again, to which you retorted Peter wasn't your friend.

He could tell it was a lie, despite the fact that under normal circumstances Peter definitely wouldn't have been considered a friend. For you, now and after everything you'd been through, he was the closest thing you had to a friend, though. So, you resisted the urge to fight your father on the premise and let him run off to boast to your mother about it.

Even if you felt like you weren't making progress, it couldn't hurt to let your parents think that you were. You were trying, anyways, so you didn't feel quite as guilty about letting them read too much into things. You just hoped that they didn't get their hopes up too high, because there was still time for you to mess things up like you always did.

You spent the afternoon cleaning your room and wallowing in your anxiety. The project was something you were dreading starting, mostly because you knew it would bring up all sorts of negative memories and emotions for you, but also because you feared what Peter would think of you. Would he judge you for your opinions? Would he think you were bitter and ridiculous?

For awhile you contemplated all the ways you could try and lie to appease him, thinking of ways to keep your composure well enough to debate on behalf of superheroes. In the end, though, you knew it was impossible. Arguing against the Avengers was going to be hard enough in itself, let alone trying to pretend you were in favor of them. Was it too late to ask for an alternate assignment?

Peter Parker: hey i'm on my way

Peter Parker: if that's okay. if you're busy that's fine too

It was definitely too late to ask for an alternate assignment, and as you typed out your response you decided it was time for you to finally start trying to do better. You'd wished for things to be easier, to be better, for so long, yet you'd never put in any of the work to make it happen. It was time for that to change. You were going to do the project, fight your stance to Peter, and try your best to not ruin his opinion of you completely in the process.

You: yeah that's fine

You: my mom says you can stay for dinner

You: if you want... if not that's cool you probably have other things to do

Okay, you were definitely biting off more than you could chew. Reading over your awkward texts to Peter made you cringe in a bad way, and you felt nauseous with embarrassment. It was so, so unbelievably hard trying to be approachable after you'd spent the past year pushing everyone away. The fear of him rejecting you was sending shockwaves through your entire body, tingling your skin all the way to the tips of your toes.

To your relief, Peter responded to let you know he was okay with staying for dinner, and informed you that he was on his way. You shot off a remark about using the door this time, and then promptly threw your phone away in shame. What if he thought you were being rude instead of joking? Or worse, what if he knew you were joking and thought it was stupid? Socializing was a real drain on your energy.

By the time Peter arrived with a timid knock on your bedroom door, followed by your mother's coo, "Oh, honey, just go on in. She's never doing anything," you had successfully stressed yourself into oblivion. You were so consumed by your thoughts you almost didn't notice her throwing open your door with a beaming grin, but the sound of Peter's uncomfortable laughter snapped you out of your daze.

"Uh, hi." you squeaked, suddenly extremely self conscious of your bedroom. He'd seen it before, obviously, but this time it was actually swathed in lamp light and the evening sun. "You can sit."

Peter stood in silence, studying your room with an indecipherable look on his face for a long moment. "It's nice in here." he finally stated, dropping his backpack and letting that easy grin slip across his lips for the first time in the past week. It was incredibly relieving to see it, and you even found yourself relaxing a little.

He sat on the edge of your bed and both of you turned to your mother curiously as she continued to stand in your doorway with a tearful smile. Jumping in shock, she gasped, "Oh, right, right. I'll just be downstairs if you need anything. It was lovely to meet you, Peter."

With one last lingering gaze, your mother backed out of the room and shut the door. That was how you knew this was a special occasion in her eyes--what sane mother would ever shut her teenage daughter in a bedroom with a teenage boy willingly? It had been a long while since you'd genuinely felt embarrassed, but you couldn't help but to groan and cover your face at the whole situation.

Peter, however, seemed thoroughly amused by everything. "Your mom is a lot like my Aunt May." he mused, twinkling brown eyes trailing over every inch of your room, "Your room is huge. I think I could fit my entire bedroom in here three times and still have extra space."

"I used to share it with my sister."

He paled at your statement and stuttered, "Oh, shit, I'm so--I'm so sorry. I didn't know--"

"Peter, it's fine." you interrupted his frantic apology, and for what felt like the first time ever, you meant it.

It was fine. You didn't feel angry or bitter about the reminder of her disappearance from your life, and it was strange to you. You liked it, though, and it felt nice to talk about her without being bogged down by thousands of horrible thoughts and feelings.

Relaxing only slightly at your reassurance, Peter looked at you wearily as if he expected you to start crying or lash out at him. To his, and your own, surprise you gave a small smile. That still felt wrong; it didn't come very naturally to you anymore, but Peter seemed mesmerized by it none the less.

The sight of your permanent frown disappearing from your face gave him the confidence to move on from the uncomfortable topic, it seemed, because he grinned back and moved to unzip his backpack. "Okay, so, first thing's first--have you read the outline for the project? It's ridiculously broad and I've been struggling to think of any ideas to make our speech unique." he rambled, rifling through the crumpled mess of papers he retrieved from his bag until he finally found what he was looking for.

You slid your smooth, unwrinkled copy across the bed and asked, "Shouldn't we start with which stance we're taking?"

Peter blinked at you, and you tensed in preparation for the argument that was about to ensue. "What do you mean? I thought it was just a given that we were arguing in favor of the Avengers?" he questioned, his eyebrows furrowing in confusion, "I mean, I'm pretty sure everyone is going to."

"I wanted to argue in opposition, actually." you muttered, pursing your lips. "That could be what makes ours stand out, you know?"

His lips opened and closed like a fish for a few moments as he clearly struggled to formulate words, but eventually he sputtered, "Is that the only reason why? I don't know if I can argue against myself, considering I kind of am an Avenger."

You chewed at the inside of your cheek, already wishing the ground would open up and swallow you whole. Letting Peter into your space, into your life, was already hard enough--adding conflict into the mix only made your heart rate pick up and your hands start to sweat. "I don't agree with the Avengers, no, but I have reasons. So, maybe you feel weird arguing against yourself, but I feel just as weird arguing in favor of something I don't agree with." you finally explained, and Peter's eyes widened incredulously.

"Why don't you like the Avengers?"

You nearly scoffed at the way he posed the question, as if he were asking you why you weren't a fan of a specific sports team. "I don't agree with them, there's a difference." you stated bluntly.

Peter wiped his palms on his jeans tensely, just as you did the same, and repeated, "Why, though? What's not to agree with? They--they've saved the world over and over again, isn't that impossible to not agree with?"

"At what cost, though?" you retorted, "Have you paid any mind to all the things they've destroyed? How many lives they've ended, or destroyed, in the midst of their heroic deeds?"

He seemed to get riled up by the bitter way you spat out the word heroic and scoffed, "Okay, but that doesn't just happen with the Avengers. The police do all of that and more on a much more frequent basis."

You raised your eyebrows challengingly, though you had to admit it was a fair counter argument. Clicking your tongue, you rebutted, "That's true, but at least sometimes there are consequences for that! With people like the Avengers there are no consequences. There's no justice, no opposition, nothing! They can do whatever they want, whenever they want, no matter who gets hurt in the process."

Peter stood from your bed abruptly, raking a hand through his hair and pacing around your room with red cheeks. You could tell very well that he was trying to control his temper, though he was about as intimidating as a mouse, and you took deep breathes yourself. The last thing you wanted to do was to make him angry with you, but you weren't willing to back down about how you felt.

Inhaling slowly, he turned to you once again and said, "There are consequences. Don't you remember the Sokovia Accords? That whole fiasco was because of people who felt like you do."

The Sokovia Accords were a sham in your eyes. You remembered well when they had come about, and it seemed that they had changed nothing. For awhile most of the Avengers had gone off the grid, choosing to be international fugitives rather than sign, until the world needed them again. When Thanos had tried to wipe out half of all life in the universe they'd all come out of the woodwork again to save the day, and afterward it seemed as if all was forgotten.

There was no punishment for Captain America, Black Widow, none of them. They stopped another world ending event, causing plenty of damage in the process, and in turn were regarded as godly heroes once again. You sometimes wondered if the Accords were even a thing anymore.

"They felt that way for good reason!" you snapped before clearing your throat and trying to calm down again, "The Avengers have caused just as much devastation as they've prevented, maybe even more."

Peter jumped at your loud tone and snapped back, "What would you even know about it? I see it first hand every time, remember, so I know what happens! What do you know?"

"They killed my sister, did you know that?" you shouted, and he froze in place with wide eyes and parted lips, "Yeah, you know what happens, right? Well then you should know that I know damn well the damage the Avengers can do."

He sat back down on your bed wordlessly, watching you hesitantly as you tugged at a loose thread on your blanket anxiously. "I didn't know that, (Y/N)," he sighed, "I'm really sorry."

You didn't say anything for a long while, not trusting your voice to come out steady as you tried to hold back tears and also keep your temper in line. Talking about your sister's death wasn't something you really did, mostly because you knew it would cause you to break down. It hurt too much to think of it, let alone speak the words out loud.

But, as Peter continued to watch you as if expecting you to explode, you tried your best, "It was my fault. If it weren't for me we wouldn't have been at the park, and she--and she wouldn't have had to wait for me."

Peter reached out and gripped your hand firmly in his, causing you to momentarily short circuit in shock. You internally battled the conflicting urges to pull away or cling to him, but eventually you relaxed into the contact. Gently grasping his hand back, you let out a shaky breathe you hadn't realized you'd been holding.

It was grounding having his hand in yours. You didn't feel like you were at risk of drifting away into the void like you usually did; with his hand touching you, it felt as if you had a secure connection to the world again. It was a feeling you never wanted to lose again.

"It wasn't your fault, (Y/N)," he soothed, but you shook your head stubbornly.

Your eyes burned as you continued, "It was! She wanted to go shopping but I begged her to come to the park with me instead. I wanted to take some photos, and she'd argued with me for so long until she finally caved. A little bit after we got there we heard this really loud explosion, and I just--I just froze, and I..."

The words seemed to lodge in your throat, and your voice came out hoarse as you forced them out, "I froze staring up at Iron Man blasting some alien through the air, so stupidly shocked I didn't notice the building collapsing until she pushed me out of the way. I tried to grab her, but it was too late! A bunch of bricks hit her and--"

"Hey, hey, you don't have to tell me." Peter hushed you, gripping your hand tighter and scooting so close to you that his leg was pressed up against yours. Somehow the increased contact and warmth caused you to break, and suddenly you were crying in front of Peter Parker for the third time. You were three for three on crying in his presence, a thought that made you cry harder in embarrassment.

He didn't seem to care at all, though, as he took you by surprise and hugged you. "He just flew right by us. He didn't even stop when I screamed for help." you croaked, clutching Peter's shirt tightly in your fists as he held you, "I hate them. I hate them so much because it should be their fault, but I just keep blaming myself!"

You really hoped your mother wasn't eavesdropping, because she'd surely have wanted to talk to you about everything later. In all the time that had passed since your sister's death, you hadn't once retold the events of that day. You'd never spoken a single word about it, not even to the police who questioned you following the incident.

No matter how hard your parents had urged you to talk about it, or your therapist, you hadn't ever budged. It was your burden to bear, and you had never felt the desire or the strength to impart that load unto anyone else. Peter somehow broke down all of your walls without even trying, though, and it felt like a breathe of fresh air to finally get it all off of your chest.

There was no explanation for why he seemed to get you to do all the things you swore you never would without a word. It made no sense at all, and it scared you a lot, but you liked it. You craved the connection he gave you. Already, after such a short amount of time, you needed it. It would surely have crushed you if he decided not to care.

As your crying slowly subsided, Peter rubbed your back timidly and comforted, "It wasn't your fault, (Y/N), I mean it. It was just a freak thing, and you couldn't have done anything to stop it--sometimes bad things just happen, and they're inevitable."

"But, if I had just--"

He cut you off, "No, no buts. It wasn't your fault and you couldn't have prevented it. Trust me, I know exactly how you feel, okay? It wasn't my fault, and it wasn't your fault either."

You wanted to ask him how he could possibly know what you felt, or what he meant by saying it wasn't his fault, but it wasn't the right time. Pulling away and wiping your eyes, you sniffled, "I really need to stop crying in front of you. You're like an onion, you know? I just can't stop crying when you're around me."

Peter laughed loudly at your weak joke, and you couldn't fight back the quiet giggle the escaped your lips too. You hadn't laughed, genuinely laughed, in so long. "I like your laugh," he breathed, and your stomach erupted in the strangest fluttery sensation, "I like it a lot. You should never stop laughing."

SERIEST TAGLIST {ask to be added}:

@msmimimerton @zendayasfwb @sweet-symphony

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hookingminor · 4 years

Text

three lessons (final) - mat barzal

a/n: here is part 3 and the last installment of the series! I know it’s short but it kinda felt weird titling it “three lessons” and making it more than 3 parts so I'm just ending it here lmao please lmk your thoughts and comments I hope u all enjoyed this

word count: 4k

warnings (18+): loss of virginity, smut

PART ONE / PART TWO

Mat didn’t call or text you for two weeks. Well, that wasn’t exactly true. He did text you, but it was only to brush you off and make excuses every time regarding why he couldn’t see you.

In hindsight, Mat knew it was a terrible idea. Even now, intrinsically, he knew it was a terrible idea. But men were not known to be logical, and Mat was no exception.

So, he did the only thing he could think of: he ignored you altogether. Complete radio silence for two weeks.

The thing with ignoring you was that it gave him all the time in the world to think. He tried formulating ideas in his mind about how to ask you out, but every one seemed corny.

He contemplated just asking you out, but the threat of rejection scared him too much from pursuing that. He wondered if he should talk to your brother first, but Mat didn’t know how he was going to explain to his captain that he’d secretly been sleeping with his younger sister and now wanted to ask her on a date. That seemed like a recipe for disaster and a sure way to get his ass kicked. And lastly, he also considered just lying to you about your sexual skills just so he’d have a reason to keep seeing you. That one, however, risked offending you, and the last thing he wanted was to make you feel insecure or embarrassed.

Along with pondering about how to hang out with you outside the context of sex, he also thought about being with you within it.

Mat thought long and hard about what he wanted to do during your last time together if he was only given one more opportunity. Many of his thoughts included your hot, wet mouth wrapped around him, a fantasy that he had gotten himself off to more than he’d like to admit. Other thoughts included him taking you from behind, maybe pressed against his wall, or even bent over his couch.

Frankly, there were just too many things Mat wanted to do to you, but he knew he didn’t have much time left. And that was why he was relying on his own charm to win you over so he didn’t have to choose what he wanted to do.

This internal debate raged on inside his head for two weeks, and Mat still didn’t have a clue about how to carry on. On one side, if he came off too strong, he risked you pulling away and breaking things off. On the other side, if he strung you along, he feared you’d only see him as a casual hookup. The last one he was able to bounce off of, but he didn’t want to hide his feelings.

Mat liked to be straightforward with the people he slept with, and sleeping with you while also hoping for more wasn’t straightforward.

And it’s not like he could go to anyone for advice, which he desperately needed right now.

You contacted him a few times to follow up and see when he’d next be available, but it was clear he was either very busy outside of hockey or he didn’t want to see you. Your heart dropped a little when you thought about the latter because you really thought you had a good time together. But maybe that was all in your head and he experienced something completely different.

You hadn’t expected your first time having sex would be phenomenal to him, but you at least thought it would be tolerable. See? This is why you needed the help. You were never going to get good at sex if you didn’t even have someone to have sex with.

After his last rejection, this time saying his family was coming into town, you decided to drop the subject. You weren’t going to beg him for sex, and if he didn’t want to see you, he didn’t want to see you.

So why were you upset at the fact he was ignoring you?

You tried your hardest to push the negative thoughts to the back of your mind. He’d served his purpose and could move on with his life for all you cared. You could be mature about this. You could let it go and continue with business as usual.

But, you also felt the need to pick yourself up a little bit, which is why you decided on a girl’s night out. If Mat wouldn’t sleep with you anymore, you would find someone who would. You just hoped the alcohol would make up for the fact that you didn’t know what you were doing.

Was it a smart choice? No, but you stopped making smart decisions when you asked Mat to help you. What was one more bad choice?

You dragged your roommate from her studying to force her out with you. It was out of character for you to be so excited for a night out, but even though she was skeptical, she didn’t question your intentions.

Dressing yourself to the nines, you perfected every aspect of your look. Even if nothing happened from tonight, you wanted to make it count. After taking a few selfies, making sure to post them to your story, you ordered a car to take you to the club.

“Are you going to tell me what this is all about?” Your roommate asked as you adjusted your boobs in your dress.

“Do you really want to know?” You questioned back, knowing well she wasn’t one to talk about feelings.

“Not really. I don’t feel like playing therapist tonight, but it’s my roomie duty to ask at least,” she shrugged, slipping on a pair of boots.

“Then don’t worry about it. Let’s just focus on getting drunk,” you replied with a wide smile. She gave you an eye roll back but didn’t argue.

The second Mat stepped into the club, he knew something was off. He wasn’t sure, but the air around him felt charged with something… he just didn’t know what.

Less than ten minutes later, he figured out what it was. It was you.

He spotted you on the dance floor from his booth dancing seductively with your friend. Mat did a double-take, not actually sure if it was you or if the two weeks without you was finally playing tricks on his mind. He blinked once, twice, three times before he registered it was you.

“Already got your eye on someone, Barzy?” His friend asked with a chuckle, nudging Mat’s side with his elbow. Mat tore his gaze away from you quickly, not realizing he had been staring for so long.

Mat was thankful he was out with some friends rather than his teammates because he would’ve been seared on sight if someone saw him ogling you. Still, he didn’t want to take the chance any of them would recognize you.

“Nah, just looking around,” he said, laughing off the awkwardness.

Mat didn’t dare look back at the dance floor despite how badly he really wanted to. The last thing he needed was his friends chirping him about a woman this early on in the night, especially when that woman was you.

He waited about five minutes and for the drinks to arrive, the guys's attention focused on the beers instead of Mat, before he glanced back.

He found you instantly, but the lustful shock he felt initially was replaced with jealousy and resentment when he saw you were no longer dancing alone. His eyes focused on the pair of hands that were gripping your hips, only a few centimeters from your ass.

Mat tried to suppress the roiling feeling in his stomach when he saw you laugh at something the stranger whispered in your ear. His grip around the beer bottle tightened and he took a long swig, forcing himself to turn his attention back towards the table before it got suspicious.

His friends were talking about the latest Knicks game, but every word they said was going in one ear and out the other. The only thing Mat could think about was how you were less than twenty-five feet away dancing with someone that wasn’t him, how you were laughing with someone that wasn’t him, how you were letting someone touch you that wasn’t him.

He risked another look but regretted it instantly when he saw the same guy was still there.

“Alright, what’s up with you, Barz?” Someone called from the table. He whipped his head back to see who addressed him, finding all of his friends staring at him expectantly.

“Nothing. Just thought I saw someone I knew,” he brushed off casually, “What were we talking about?”

“We were talking about the game,” his friend said, putting emphasis on the ‘we,’ “You were staring at that little thing over there in the tight jeans. So who is she?”

“Just someone I know,” he muttered, taking another sip of his beer.

“You wanna go talk to her? Should we invite her over here?” His friend offered.

“No,” Mat said a little too quickly He closed his eyes in defeat, realizing he’d just given his friends exactly what they wanted.

“Is the infamous Mat Barzal jealous?” A crowd of ‘ooh’s sounded around the table. Mat flattened them all with a glare, but the smirks didn’t fall.

“Just go get her, Mat,” one of the guys said after a moment, “You’re no use to us being pissy all night.” The other guys nodded their agreement, gesturing for him to leave.

“Fine. You’re all assholes anyway,” Mat grumbled reluctantly. He set his nearly empty beer back on the table before pushing himself out of the booth, a chorus of whoops following him as he threaded his way through the crowded dance floor over to you.

Mat found you easily as he hadn’t taken his eyes off you the entire night. He walked up next to the guy who you were currently gyrating against and put a strong hand on his shoulder.

“Show’s over, buddy. Get moving,” Mat yelled over the music, nudging his head towards the door. The stranger turned to give him a funny look, but he quickly backed down when he saw how much space Mat took up. Mat wasn’t in the mood to play games right now, and the guy easily picked up on that.

You turned your head around when you felt the body you’d been dancing with for the past twenty minutes move. Your waist wasn’t unoccupied for long, a pair of hands quickly replacing the ones you’d lost.

“Mat?” You asked in confusion, stopping your dancing to fully face him. Mat kept your body close, though, hands dropping to rest on your ass.

“What are you doing here?” He asked, bending down to say it into your ear.

“I was having a good time,” you replied, annoyed at the way he just cock blocked you.

“With that guy? No you weren’t,” he said confidently.

“I was, actually. I have to talk to someone since you’ve clearly been ignoring me,” you said with an eye roll. He ignored the jab you threw at him.

“It didn’t look like you were doing a lot of talking.”

“I’m surprised you even know what talking is considering how little of it you do,” you snapped, pulling out of his hold.

Mat didn’t let you slip out of his reach, though, hand grabbing your wrist before you could get too far. He knew you were about two seconds from walking away from him, probably for good.

“Then how about we go back to my apartment and talk,” he said impulsively, almost on the verge of begging.

“Now you want to talk?” You retorted, crossing your arms.

“Or we can not talk?” He suggested, hoping the smirk he gave conveyed more than what he said.

“Final lesson?” You propositioned, raising a brow. Mat’s features fell quickly as his heart rate picked up. He didn’t plan on a final lesson, at least not right now, but he knew if you left tonight the odds he saw you again were slim.

“I didn’t really have anything planned yet,” he recovered quickly, “but tonight can be a free pass…”

“So not a lesson?” You countered.

“Oh, it’s a lesson,” he explained, “Just not our last one.”

“You’re playing with fire here...,” you trailed off, faking contemplation as you considered his offer. You knew the second he asked, you were going to say yes. Despite the irritation at the fact he was acting like nothing was wrong, your libido had a mind of its own as it remembered the last time his tongue was on you.

“Trust me, I know,” Mat chuckled, bringing your body into his once again.

“Take me home then, Barzal.”

Mat was already leading you towards the entrance before you finished your sentence.

You were pushing Mat backwards towards the couch when you stumbled through his front door. Your hands flew up to push the jean jacket off his shoulders as you both kicked off your shoes in the doorway. He never broke the kiss as the back of his calves hit the couch.

Mat plopped down on the cushions, hands guiding you to straddle his lap. Your fingers gripped the back of his neck as you deepened the kiss and entangled your tongue with his. You gently rocked your hips against his, feeling him harden beneath you. His hand squeezed your ass through your jeans as he audibly groaned into your mouth.

“How much have you had to drink tonight?” Mat breathed out when you pulled back and began pressing kisses against his neck.

“I stopped drinking like two hours ago,” you said into his ear, nipping at the skin.

“Okay, I just wanted to make sure before…” he said, ending the sentence in a groan when you sucked harshly at his throat.

“Before what?” You asked, pulling back to look him in the eyes.

Mat’s eyes darkened as he bit his lip contemplatively, bringing his hand up to drag his thumb over your bottom lip.

“Get on your knees,” he stated, moving his hand to cup your cheek.

Your eyes lit up at his order, a sly smirk appearing on your lips. You’d be lying if you said you weren’t looking forward to eventually getting him in your mouth, and the day had finally come.

Eagerly, you shimmied your body off his, lowering yourself onto your knees in front of him. Mat sat forward a little bit and reached down to grab the hem of your shirt. He lifted it over your body with ease, tossing it somewhere off to the side. You looked up at him with doe eyes, an innocent look on your face as you awaited further instructions.

“Fuck, don’t give me that look or this will be a very short lesson,” Mat cursed.

You didn’t change your features as you asked your next question.

“What do I do first?”

“Take my pants off,” he commanded.

You did as he said, moving your hands to unbuckle his belt and unzipping his jeans. Mat lifted his hips up slightly to help you tug his pants down, bringing his boxers along with them. You pulled them over his feet and tossed them to join your shirt. His cock sprung out at full length, resting against his abdomen. You leaned back on your heels after you freed him, pausing a moment to take it all in.

“Just a disclaimer, but I’m probably not going to be good at this,” you said with a light laugh, hoping your nervousness wasn’t showing.

“I promise just about anything you do will feel good,” Mat chuckled darkly, “And I’ll guide you through it.”

Mat could tell what he said did little to calm your nerves, so he leaned forward and brought your face closer to his. He gave you a sweet kiss on the lips and brought a hand to run through your hair to make you feel more comfortable.

“Just start slow, okay?” He reassured, pulling back to tug his shirt off. You nodded your head and tentatively brought your hand to grasp his dick.

Slowly, you squeezed your hand gently, twisting up and down as you familiarized yourself with him. Mat’s hands reached out to the back cushions, tightly gripping the fabric as you ran your thumb over his tip. You spread the precum over the head of his dick, bringing your thumb to your lips and sucking it into your mouth.

“Jesus, please do something,” Mat groaned, eyes dark as he watched you lick your thumb. He felt two seconds away from combusting and you hadn’t even put your mouth on him yet.

Taking him back in your hand, you held eye contact as you pressed light kisses on his thighs, slowly moving upwards. When you reached his base, you leaned in and licked a long stripe along the underside of his cock all the way to his tip. Mat’s jaw fell slack, but you didn’t give him time to recover as you closed your lips over the head.

You hollowed your cheeks against him, sucking lightly. His hand darted out to tangle in your hair when you sucked him and a deep moan escaped his lips. Mat’s fingers fisted your hair to softly encourage your timid movements.

“Move your hands with it,” he said breathlessly. You listened to his advice and moved your hand in tandem with your mouth.

Mat pressed your head down a little further, careful to not overwhelm you. You took a couple more inches easily, squeezing what you couldn’t reach at his base. When you drew back around his tip, you sucked your lips together tightly and Mat threw his head back against the couch.

“Holy shit,” Mat stammered, his hips instinctively thrusting up, “I’m close.”

You weren’t confident enough you could swallow your first time, so you didn’t take any chances. The last thing you wanted to do was ruin the moment by trying to be bold. Withdrawing your mouth from his length, you finished jerking him off with your hand until Mat’s abs were tensing in front of you. A few seconds later he was coming, coating your chest as his eyes shut and mouth fell open in a silent gasp.

“Fuck, baby,” Mat moaned when he opened his eyes, taking in your swollen lips and freshly fucked face, “I can’t even express how hot you look right now.” Reaching down and picking you up by your waist, he pulled you back onto his lap as he kissed you deeply.

Not caring about the mess between you, Mat hitched your legs around his waist and carried you to the bedroom.

Tossing you on the bed, Mat rushed to the bathroom to grab a washcloth, lobbing it over to you to clean yourself off. He didn’t wait another second before nestling himself between your legs.

“My turn,” he smirked, attaching his lips to your dripping cunt.

Mat woke up the next morning to the sun filtering in through his curtains and the sound of your soft snores. He blinked his eyes open, gaze immediately falling down to the sight of you curled into his side and your head resting on his chest.

He brushed the few strands of your hair that had flown up into his face out of the way. Careful not to wake you, he very gently slid out from your grip and used his hand to place your head on the pillow.

Since he’d completely fucked up every plan he originally had by bringing you home last night, he had to think of a new plan.

Mat threw on a pair of sweatpants quickly and silently left his bedroom, making his way towards the kitchen. He figured he didn’t have much time before you woke up and noticed he was gone, so he had to work fast.

You woke up to the smell of something burning. Sitting up swiftly, you panicked, thinking the apartment was somehow on fire before you heard the clang of a pan in the kitchen followed by a loud “Shit!”

Confusion etching across your features, you rolled yourself out of bed and slipped on one of Mat’s shirts before padding out into the hallway.

The sight before you was one of chaos. You turned the corner and walked into a war zone. Mat was hunched over the sink, rinsing out a pan that had steam rising furiously into the air.

“What the hell did you do?” You asked with wide eyes, glancing at the amount of dishes that cluttered the counters. Mat jumped back in surprise, pan falling out of his hand and crashing into the sink.

“You weren’t supposed to be up yet,” he said hurriedly, turning his attention to the pan on the stove that has now started to smoke up.

“Were you trying to make breakfast?” You wondered, laughing at his disheveled state.

“Yes,” he replied, “I’m not very good at cooking.”

“Yeah, I can see that,” you chuckled, “Why were you making breakfast?”

“I was trying to impress you, but I can’t cook to save my life,” he explained, turning off the stove.

“Why were you trying to impress me?” Shit, he hadn’t even realized the slip-up.

“Uh, I was meaning to talk to you about that over breakfast,” he said awkwardly, turning to face you.

“Well, since you burned breakfast why don’t you just talk to me now?” You suggested, taking a seat at the counter.

Mat slowly walked his way over to you, stopping when he was standing across from you, only the counter separating you. His eyes focused on the granite as he cleared his throat.

“I was, uh, I was going to ask you if you maybe wanted to go on a date with me some time?” He asked sheepishly.

“Oh,” you replied, both in confusion and surprise.

“Oh?” He repeated, finally lifting his eyes to meet yours.

“I didn’t expect that, is all,” you stated, a blush rising to your cheeks.

“I know we said no strings, but I really want to take you out and, you know, hang out with you without the sex,” he explained. You raised your eyebrows at him.

“Not that the sex is bad,” he rambled quickly, “The sex is great, fantastic actually, I just think you’re cool and want to get to know you better.”

“Why me?” You asked, reiterating the same question he had when you asked him for his help.

“I don’t know,” he sighed, “There’s just something about you, and I want to figure out what that is. I wanted to ask you out after our last, uh, get together, but I didn’t know how to ask you.”

“Is that why you ignored me?”

“I swear I wasn’t intentionally ignoring you,” he said, “I just wanted a game plan before I saw you again, but then I saw you last night and... yeah.”

Your lips twisted up at his last statement as you reveled in Mat’s sudden shyness. You hadn’t expected him to ever be interested in you like this, but it was a pleasant surprise nonetheless.

Mat watched the smile spread across your face, but he wasn’t quite sure how to take it. It didn’t look like you were about to reject him, but he couldn’t be positive.

“You want to ask me on a date?” You gushed, hopping off your seat and walking towards him.

“Yeah, I do,” he smiled down at you, pulling you closer by your hips.

“How does breakfast right sound?” You offered, reaching up to wrap your hands around his neck.

“Right now sounds perfect,” he answered, leaning down to kiss your lips. You must’ve misread the situation because what Mat wanted to be a sweet peck soon turned heated as you deepened the kiss.

Mat moaned lightly when you pulled back, head leaning forward to chase your lips.

“Wait, we still have to figure out one thing,” you chuckled, turning your face so his lips met your cheek instead.

“What’s that?” He muttered.

“We have to tell my brother,” you giggled.

Mat’s head fell against your shoulder as he let out a disgruntled groan.

“Maybe we can wait a little bit until then?” He teased.

You laughed loudly at the way his brown eyes widened to give you what you assumed was his attempt at a puppy-dog look.

“Yeah, we can wait a while.”

#mat barzal #nhl imagine #hockey imagine #nhl smut #hockey smut #mat barzal imagine #nhl fic #my writing

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itsclydebitches · 3 years

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YYH Recaps: Episode 1, Surprised to be Dead

Hello, all you hypothetical readers! It's a beautiful spring day and I have a free afternoon ahead of me, so what better time to start another massive project while I guilty stuff my other WIPs deep into the depths of my hard drive? Yeah. Iffy life choices aside, someone mentioned a few weeks back that they'd love for me to recap a show I have more positive things to say about than negative (RIP RWBY) and ever since Netflix announced that their live-action adaptation of Yu Yu Hakusho is in the works, I've been itching for a re-watch of the anime. With the RWBY hiatus underway, it seemed like the perfect time to fulfill both desires.

Before we begin though, I'd like to touch on a few things that are going to influence this project.

First, YYH is near and dear to my heart. Written by Yoshihiro Togashi in the early 1990s and later adapted for an American audience by Funimation, I had the pleasure of experiencing this story five different ways: as a serialized tale in Shonen Jump, a binge read when I had the money to buy the manga, tiny snippets of the anime on Adult Swim late at night — don't tell my parents ;) — as an after-school treat on Toonami, and then years later as a re-watch when I introduced it to a friend (who, in turn, blessed me by having us watch Fullmetal Alchemist next). I used to keep a Hiei bookmark in everything I was reading, the spirit gun made it into our witch-wolf-space adventures on the playground (middle school was wild), and there was a long period of my life where I tried very hard to teach myself to stand with my hands behind my back, precisely as Genkai does. Spoiler alert: I failed. So to say I love the series is... a little bit of an understatement. I bring this up simply as a way of demonstrating that there's more than a bit of nostalgia attached to YYH for me and that will inevitably cloud my reading of it. How can it not? So that's just something to keep in mind as I work through a series that, like any having hit its 30th birthday, has its outdated, flawed, and other questionable aspects.

Second, but very much connected to the first point, is that these are pretty casual recaps. I summarize and extrapolate, focusing primarily on plot and dialogue (but with the occasional cinematography aspect tossed in). I'm not conducting research on the cultural history here — something that will come up at least once in this episode — I'm not arguing an overarching thesis, and I've never been someone who focuses on the author/production/trivia of a series. I'm here for the story as the story is presented to the viewer. If you've read my RWBY Recaps, this will function precisely the same way, with the only difference being I'm engaging with a finished text as opposed to an ongoing one, so there’s a lot less, “Maybe ___ will happen” theorizing going on.

Third, I obviously recommend that you watch the show yourself (you can find it on YouTube!), but you don't have to know the series to follow along. As these massive paragraphs attest, I tend to be both detailed and verbose, so we'll be covering every major plot point — and most of the smaller ones too.

Finally, I'm working from the dub. I know, I know, the horror. But it's what I grew up on and, honestly, I think it's superior to the sub. YYH's dubbing is in a class all its own and to this day there are very few shows that compare to it. Trust me, it's a good call.

That's enough of the boring chit-chat though. Let's get started!

Our very first episode "Surprised to be Dead" opens on a crowded street. We see lots of traffic, people going about their business, and a pedestrian crossing sign that, crucially, turns red. This is our normality and, like in every genre story, you need to break that normality at some point so that the protagonists can go on their fantastical/supernatural/science fiction journey. YYH eases us into things by first breaking the normality of an everyday afternoon: there's a screech of tires, quick shots of a man pushing a child out of the way of an oncoming car, and then his back is hitting the windshield. We begin this story with a horrible — but otherwise mundane — car crash.

Now, these flashes alone have a fair bit to unpack. Despite later getting a brief shot of the man's scared face right before he's hit, the moment's focus is really on the child. He's the one foregrounded in the initial, slow-mo shot. He's the one who appears in color while the man is kept in shadow. This isn't just a hit, it's a rescue. The camera is also careful to follow the soccer ball this kid was playing with (more on that later in the episode), with it flying through the air as the man is hit and bouncing to a stop in the street, acting as the dramatic finish. It's childhood! It's innocence! It's play on a sunny afternoon! And it's all gone wrong.

This moment is chaotic and even a bit confusing. Not in the sense of what's happening — that is quite obviously a guy being hit by a car — but who the victims are, how precisely this came about, or even why we're meant to care about this beyond a generic capacity to feel for other human (fictional) beings... that's all removed. And it works. As the crash takes place, the camera pans across the stunned crowd and we, the viewer, become a part of that crowd. They don't know what precisely is going on either. We're all just horrified onlookers as a sudden tragedy takes place. We're all watching the same show.

So everyone realizes this guy has been hit. People are staring in shock and someone calls for an ambulance. We see the driver fall to his knees in the street, distraught, shakily saying, "I didn't mean to..." It's a very serious and emotional scene that —

— is immediately tempered by this guy waking up, complete with a cute 'pop!' sound effect when he opens his eyes.

This is YYH's brand, this Very Serious Circumstances skillfully interwoven with casual indifference/comedy. It's admittedly far from a unique brand, but it's an excellent choice given that this is the same attitude that will drive 99% of our protagonist's interaction with the world.

Speaking of said protagonist, our guy wakes up, opens his eyes, and realizes that he's floating. There's a great, disorientating shot from his perspective where everything is upside down, causing him to nearly fall out of the air. Well would you look at that, he's as confused as we are. It's our audience surrogate!

A narrator says, "And so it all begins. This boy's name is Yusuke, he's fourteen years old, and he's supposed to be the hero of this story. But oddly enough, he's dead."

Game of Thrones might have made it popular, but YYH did it better.

(Yeah, yeah, I know one death kick-starts the journey and the other is a shocking twist. Just let me have this.)

Now, it's a weird introduction, right? At least at the end. The announcement that change has occurred, a name, an age... that all checks out. But "supposed to be the hero"? What the hell is that “supposed to” mean? Our narrator gives us the easy, surface answer: "But oddly enough, he's dead." We're capitalizing here on the audience's expectation that death ends a character's journey and though they may have been a hero previously, they can no longer be one moving forward. That function within the story has passed. So it's this intriguing question of, "What kind of hero do you have when that hero is dead from the start?" but as we'll see soon, there's an additional meaning here of, "How can Yusuke be the hero?" As this premiere sets up, Yusuke doesn't act like the hero is “supposed to” act.

Until he saved this kid.

But right now he's just confused: "Okay, this is weird. Stupid weird."

Two EMTs arrive on the scene and are hilariously useless. You know how in any medical drama a doctor will stop CPR after a couple of seconds because obviously you're not going to spend half the episode on realism? Well, that's this only a thousand times worse. One guy just looks at the kid and announces he's fine except for some bumps and bruises. Meanwhile, the kid is sobbing.

"Well, at least one of them is," replies the other EMT, because I guess he can tell Yusuke is beyond hope without taking a pulse or anything? "I hate cleanup," he complains as they load his body onto a stretcher because that's? An empathetic response to have??

Honestly this scene is wild.

Yusuke is understandably upset that he's, you know, dead and all. He starts hounding the EMTs who, unable to hear him, just go about their business of taking the kid and his body to the hospital. "You think you can just do whatever you want because you have that stupid uniform on? You can't just write me off. Listen to me!" and Yusuke tries to punch one of the EMTs in the head, resulting in him floating right through.

What a great way to introduce your protagonist's personality. We see here that when things go wrong Yusuke's default emotion is anger and it starts creeping in even before he thinks the others are ignoring him: "Stupid weird." He has problems with authority — "You think you can just do whatever you want because you have that stupid uniform on?" — is used to others listening when he gets angry — "You can't just write me off!" — and is poised to use violence at the slightest provocation. Yusuke is a guy who, right now at least, is ready to punch first and ask questions later.

As Yusuke floats back up into the air and the ambulance drives away, he finally cools down enough to try and think his way out of this. "It's not like this is the first time you've been in a jam,” he thinks. Yusuke recalls that yeah, something was different about today...

...he actually went to school.

Catch me laughing that this idiot boy equates the weirdness of him dying with going to school. Good lord.

Anyway, this jumpstarts our flashback. We open on a generic, anime middle school (that always feels like a high school to me) where the principal is calling for Yusuke through the loud speaker. Oooo someone’s in trouble! We follow a young girl up to the rooftop and she gets a classic hair-blowing-in-the-wind moment to establish that she's our love interest. Meet Keiko Yukimura.

Keiko finds Yusuke hanging out and immediately starts lecturing him for trying to chew gum and refusing to wear the boys' uniform. "Oh, give me a break, Keiko. I look better in green." Note that it's here we learn her name and it's an easy, casual way to introduce it. I bring this up because Yusuke's introduction via our narrator is very much... not that. It's an on your nose statement about his name, age, and importance to the story, and if you're just starting the show in 2021, it might come across as a rather armature move. Like something out of a kid's show, perhaps. Yet here we see that this was a deliberate choice, considering that YYH is capable of introducing character information naturally when it wants to.

This moment also tells us that Yusuke cares a great deal about his image. More on that in a bit. Because Keiko isn't finished her list of grievances yet, going on to say that his attendance record has hurt their entire class, hurt her as class representative, and if he keeps going down this path he won't even graduate middle school. "Sometimes I think you don't care about anyone but yourself and then you don't even do that right!"

They're legit complaints. Too bad Yusuke is busy looking up Keiko's skirt.

Yeeeeah. Sadly, this is common for anime, particularly a 90s anime like YYH. Even presumably more progressive series like My Hero Academia feature characters like Mineta, whose entire personality is being a pervert, and the creation of abilities that "require" kids/young women to be scantily clad. See: Yaoyorozu. YYH is no different in this regard, with various forms of sexual harassment functioning as a shorthand for how much Yusuke secretly likes Keiko. "Boys will be boys," right? Obviously not.

Like so many others series, the creators get away with it because they’re framing it as a bad thing. It's totally fine because look, Keiko slaps him! This is teaching the viewer how wrong this behavior is. Never mind that this is clearly an established habit between them, that Yusuke laughs off Keiko's discomfort, and that the whole scene is meant to be funny for the viewer. That's the real purpose here; it’s not a PSA on harassment.

That, and to establish the long-suffering love Keiko has for Yusuke in turn, largely stemming from a life-long friendship. "Dumb boy! He hasn't grown up a bit since he was four years old." We see that Keiko's early interactions with Yusuke have given her insight that others lack. As she heads down from the roof she runs into two girls hiding around the corner, too scared to come out lest "the great Urameshi" set his sights on them. Isn't Keiko terrified of what he might do to her? "Or worse, what others might say of it?" Like any classic high school middle school setting, one's reputation is king. Yusuke cares about how others see him — maintaining that tough boy attitude — and the girls care more about what the rest of the school might think of Keiko's interactions with him than the presumed harm Yusuke could do to her. They heard he can summon 2,000 men with just a whistle and that he "kills for fun!" But that means nothing in the face of people talking about you. Despite being one of the most popular girls in school, Keiko is the outsider here via her disinterest in what other people think.

The animation changes here, giving us a good look at how the girls picture Yusuke: tough, scowling, surrounded by shadows, and backed by an entire army.

In contrast, we've already seen what Yusuke is really like.

Keiko laughs the image off too. Yusuke is more like a "lamb" than a killer and besides, he couldn't order around two people, let alone two hundred. "He doesn't have many friends."

"That's not what I heard," says one of the girls.

"Yeah," goes the other. "I think we would know."

Again, rumors rule here, with whispers in the hall considered more reliable than someone who interacts with Yusuke on a daily basis. Keiko doesn’t have a hope of changing their minds.

Oh, as a side note, I love that they gave Keiko Miyazaki-esque hair. It's very emotive.

Yusuke escapes outside where the principal is still calling for him to report to his office. He overhears a conversation around the corner and we cut to two boys, one of which is showing a wallet off to the other. He explains that some bully tried to rough him up, but he said he was Urameshi's cousin and the bully took off, dropping his wallet in the process. The guy's friend is impressed, but what is he going to do if Yusuke ever finds out he lied? Not to worry, he says, that "blockhead" would probably think it's true even if he did somehow hear.

Yusuke, obviously, does hear about this and he, also obviously, does not believe this guy is his cousin. He looms ominously and they scurry up against a wall, terrified and offering him the wallet as an apology.

"You think I want your money?" Yusuke yells.

YYH is, in many respects, a rather simple story, but I appreciate the hints of complexity in these otherwise straightforward interactions. It's not that this guy used Yusuke's name to steal a wallet, he used it as a form of protection against another bully — a far more sympathetic motivation. It's not that Yusuke's fearsome reputation has resulted in any genuine respect because once people think they're safe they reveal how little they think of his intelligence — he's a "blockhead." And Yusuke, though intimidating and violent, is not your average, schoolyard bully. He doesn't care about money, only the insult and the damage this guy using his name might have done to his reputation. There's a little more nuance here than you might otherwise expect.

Also, note how dark the boys' standard uniforms are and how much they blend into the rest of the world. Yusuke, as our protagonist, stands out in his bright clothing. He was right, he does look better in green!

So he's ready to clobber this kid when one of the teachers arrive: Mr. Iwamoto.

Iwamoto demands to know what's going on, but the boys are too terrified to rat Yusuke out. Noticing the wallet on the ground, he assumes that Yusuke was after their money, something that greatly offends him: "Whatever!" Iwamoto goes on to say that, "No good weeds like you should have been plucked a long time ago," making it clear that he considers Yusuke a hopeless case. The positive aspects that Keiko sees, as well as the complexity the viewer sees — to say nothing of his introduction of saving a kid — aren’t considered here.

Notably, Iwamoto exists in part to show us what Yusuke could become. Not a teacher (he's obviously not attending school enough for that!), but a cynical man who is cruel for cruelty's sake. Yusuke is already barreling down that path, ignoring Keiko's advice, terrorizing other students, trying to punch EMTs, etc. If his life (or afterlife...) hadn't changed through that accident, this is the kind of person Yusuke might have grown up to be, and we can see that clearly in the visual parallels between them. Dark haired men dressed in green who scowl with ease and toss out cutting insults. Yusuke is staring his future in the face.

For now he walks off with a final shot, "You shouldn't talk. It makes you sound stupid." This time Yusuke makes it to the school's entrance and tries to enjoy his second attempt at chewing gum, but someone hits him in the back of the head.

"Okay, somebody's DEAD — ah. Sorry, old man."

"That's Mr. Takenaka to you."

Our principal has finally left the office and hunted down Yusuke for himself! Putting this interaction immediately after the one with Iwamoto allows the viewer to compare them. Yusuke might be irreverent towards his principal, but it's clear there's still some kind of respect between them. Yusuke only starts threatening because he doesn’t realize who hit him and once he does realize it's Takenaka, he immediately apologizes. That "old man" comes across as a teasing insult and Yusuke allows himself to be briefly dragged back towards school, rather than throwing a now classic punch. In turn, Takenaka cares enough about Yusuke to try and keep him on the straight and narrow. He utilizes Yusuke's preferred language — violence — but in a casual way, nonthreatening way: slight hit to the back of his head, noogie, pulling him along by the ear.

It's the sort of physicality we're used to seeing in media between a parent and child who are outwardly antagonistic, but actually share a deep bond. Takenaka is also careful to frame their return to his office as a "discussion," not a punishment, and offers Yusuke tea along with the conversation. Whereas Iwamoto considers Yusuke to be a "weed" that should have been plucked from their school long ago, Takenaka is determined to help Yusuke bloom.

If we're continuing the flower metaphor :D

Yusuke isn't in the mood to play along though. He gets away by using a fake ear, startling Takenaka when it unexpectedly pulls free. Yusuke escapes the school grounds and Takenaka, suffering a back twinge from his fall, can't chase after him. Poor guy. I understand that pain lol.

Yusuke heads home where we're introduced to his mother, Atsuko. Most notable in her first shot is the soft lighting that highlights her looks. We're not told how old she is here, but I believe she's around 28 — and she looks it, if not younger. Given that Yusuke is 14, that means Atsuko was a mom at his age. This is a quick and subtle way to tell us about Yusuke's home life. There are more overt details in this scene — it's at least lunchtime and Atsuko hasn't left her bed yet, she demands that Yusuke make her coffee instead of greeting him, it's all meant to imply (before we actually see) that she's an alcoholic — but her age is another way to highlight the broken household here. There's no partner in sight and she clearly had Yusuke as a teenager. He hasn't had a strong parental figure to take care of him. If anything, Yusuke is taking care of Atsuko here.

"Oh great, mother of the year!" basically sums things up.

Atsuko wants to know why Yusuke isn't in school and he says that everyone is pissing him off today, particularly with their preaching. "Dear, if you hate preaching so much you should live on your own... but you can't do that, can you?" Alongside a rough upbringing, Yusuke is suffering from the common problem of being trapped in a dead-end life. He hates his school, his town, and coming home to find his mom hungover. Yusuke has no prospects and, outside of one principal, no one who is actively working to help him find some. Even the little things he hates, like being preached to, are unavoidable because if you want to live on your own, that requires money. Good luck pulling that off as a middle schooler whose only skill is street fighting!

Yusuke walks off in a huff, literally shouting in a street about what a bad day he's having (and hilariously scaring off pedestrians in the process). His shout brings trouble though. A couple guys appear to ambush him, their boss close behind. The music increases the tension, Yusuke's expression is serious, and we even get a Dutch angle thrown into the mix.

For any who don't know, the Dutch angle is a popular film technique to establish that something is wrong. There's tension in the scene, something uneasy is at play, and the world is now literally off center. It's perhaps most famously used in Do The Right Thing to establish the friction between an Italian-American pizzeria and the predominantly African American neighborhood it's based in.

But it's also used a great deal in horror as a way to say: yup, shit just got real. Scary real.

This Dutch angle introduces a character you may not appreciate at first, but absolutely should: Kazuma Kuwabara.

He's initially the comic relief and that's clear in his introduction. Within seconds we move from that intimidating arrival to, well, seeing him. To be clear, I've got nothing against redheads with big chins, but compared to Yusuke's design, Kuwabara is meant to be the funny looking one. His threat level plummets the moment we get a look at his face, especially in a series that will occasionally use looks as a (supposed) measure of intelligence.

Also, Kuwabara is dressed in light blue so, like Yusuke, we know he's important!

Any assumptions that his appearance isn’t meant to imply a goofy, embarrassing personality are put to rest when Kuwabara starts rambling about how they last time they fought Yusuke just got a cheap shot in and he'll definitely win this time. Yeah, he won't. Yusuke is thrilled by this diversion though and we get a shot of him looking almost as creepy as Keiko's friends think he is. Whatever else might be said about Yusuke, he is absolutely a monster in a fight.

Which we see here. If anyone picked up the series without knowing this was a fighting anime, they'll realize it now. Yusuke's choreography is stylized to show off his skill: he disappears with a 'whoosh' and dark lines to suggest inhuman speed,

attacking Kuwabara with a knee to the face, utilizes flying kicks, lands perfect, precision punches, and ends it all with the toe-tip landing we've come to expect of all powerful fighters. Kuwabara never even got a hit in.

Happy as a clam now, Yusuke wanders off whistling and Kuwabara's friends are left to pick up the pieces. AKA, his likely broken bones. I love that they're legit friends though and not just nameless goons for the sake of giving Kuwabara a small gang (though their names won't come up until later). "That makes 0 wins an 156 loses!" one of them cries, trying to get Kuwabara to stop ending up in the hospital, probably. We establish that Kuwabara is The Most Dramatic Ever when he pulls his broken body into a seated position, shouting, "No! I almost had him that time!"

Then he passes out.

Kuwabara, honey, you obviously did not almost have him, but god bless you for the outlook. The most optimistic thing on this Earth is a well-loved Golden Retriever, but Kuwabara comes in at a very close second.

With his dream to one day beat Yusuke in combat established, we cut to Yusuke wandering the street where the episode opened. "Okay, I'm remembering" he says in a voiceover. "After that I met the kid."

The soccer ball reappears as it rolls to a stop at Yusuke's feet. He grabs it and immediately starts yelling at the kid. Horrible protagonist, right? Well, Yusuke is trying to instill in him the danger of using this street as a playground, a worry the viewer already knows is 100% justified. “Listen, kid, that’s dangerous! There are cars going by that will splatter you into the pavement!” It's one of those quick moments where we get to enjoy Yusuke's duality: he's someone who is nearly making a toddler cry, but for rather understandable reasons. He's got the right idea, but needs to go about it in a more mature manner.

Which is precisely what he attempts to do. Sort of. Yusuke changes gears, though whether it's a more "mature" route is certainly up for debate lol. He tries entertaining the kid instead, raising and lowering the soccer ball to reveal goofy faces.

When these fail to impress, Yusuke goes full out by stuffing the ball into his pants, pushing his nose up with a pair of chopsticks he got from god knows where, and generally just putting on a display.

So Yusuke cares very deeply about his reputation... but only when it comes to those who are an established part of his life. Keiko, Mr. Takenaka, and the other kids at school all need to maintain a particular image of Yusuke, one that he's carefully cultivated. But random pedestrians on the street? Who cares about them? Let them talk.

This shows us that Yusuke does indeed have priorities over his own, selfish goals. Namely, the happiness of some kid is more important to him than looking "cool" for a bunch of strangers. Lots of characters with Yusuke's surface attitude would sneer at the idea of degrading themselves for — their words — some brat. But Yusuke, as we constantly see, actually does have that heart of gold. “Well, if all else fails I can still make kids happy.”

Although... I'm not sure what to make of his display itself. I have the distinct sense that there's something prejudiced here that I'm not able to fully articulate, what with the chopsticks, slanted eyes, bald head, and the like, though to be entirely frank I don't have enough knowledge of Japan's history to say precisely what it might be. Or, really, whether it exists at all. Just something to chew on.

What I am sure about though is the importance of having the child label Yusuke as monster — "Yeah, monster! — but in a delighted manner. Yusuke is indeed some kind a monster, someone who disappoints adults and terrifies his classmates, a demon fighter on the streets too, but here that identity is reworked into something positive.

Having successful secured a laugh, Yusuke tells the kid — calmly this time — to go play elsewhere. The toddler stares up at him with the blank expression only kids can manage.

Well, kids and whatever headspace I'm in after writing these metas.

To absolutely no one's surprise except Yusuke's, the kid does not go elsewhere. Instead, he continues kicking the ball down the street, causing Yusuke to exclaim, “Dammit, what’s the use? The kid can get smashed by a car for all I care!” Liar, liar.

The picture becomes desaturated as the kid kicks the ball and it flies into the street, time slowing down to show it landing precisely in the middle of the road. Yusuke again yells for him to stay put, but when has a toddler ever listened? He begins to walk into the road as our driver arrives, speeding, swerving, and paying more attention to the girl at his side than what's in front of him.

This time, we see the accident from the front with both Yusuke and the kid presented equally.

There's a cut to black and when we return we're in the present, Yusuke floating above the policemen now investigating the scene. “So that’s it? I’m roadkill?” As Yusuke realizes he's dead, specifically that he's a ghost, a voice goes,

"Bingo! Bingo! You win the prize!"

A woman has appeared who is quite obviously othered by the standards of the episode so far. Unlike the greens, blues, and browns of the series' modern clothes, she's dressed in hot pink kimono with blue hair to match. She's also, you know, floating on an oar.

“I didn’t expect you to figure it out so quickly," she says, referring to Yusuke's revelation that he's dead. Apparently, those who meet unexpected and/or violent ends tend to take some time coming to terms with their demise. It's a nice acknowledgment of Yusuke's intelligence in an interaction that's otherwise... not great for his self-esteem.

Meaning, this woman is about to drag him lol.

She introduces herself as Botan, pilot of the River Styx and guider of souls to the afterlife. You might also know her as the Grim Reaper.

(Hey, RWBY fans: I originally wrote that as Grimm Reaper 🤦‍♀️)

It's an claim Yusuke takes issue with because 1. Botan is too pretty to be the Grim Reaper and 2. If she was really some god of death she'd be taking this much more seriously, not laughing and saying, "Bingo!" For the audience this does two things. First, it acknowledges our own expectations and validates them. Yusuke's world isn't so far removed from our own that he takes Botan's looks and personality at face value, he also expected a skeleton with a scythe. So don't worry, all the weird stuff in this series is weird to our protagonist too. They'll be explanations. Or, even if there’s not, you’re not wrong for being surprised.

Second, it sets up the very common theme in YYH of undermining those common assumptions again and again and again. We've already seen it with Yusuke, wherein characters who look and act a certain way are, supposedly, destined to be that person and nothing more. Yusuke is meant to be just a "weed," a dumb, violent, angry loser who goes nowhere in life... but we already know he's more than that. Botan is supposed to be scary and serious, but she says nah, I want to be cute and bubbly instead. No character in YYH embodies who they're "supposed" to be when you look past those surface characterizations. They play the part of archetypes — and do keep certain parts of their expected personalities — but they're also far more well-rounded than that. Which yeah, is something most people expect from any story nowadays, but YYH is particularly adept at making you think you're watching Simple Show A only to turn around and surprise you with More Complex Show B.

It's great, trust me.

So Yusuke is pissed that Botan isn't adhering to those expectations, in the same way that he works hard to validate others expectations of him. He doesn't know how to deal with someone challenging his world view yet. Rather than angering Botan though, she just nods and says that this response makes sense for him. “Rather than being scared, or surprised, you yell a lot and tell me I don’t know what I’m talking about." Taking out a notebook, she quickly summarizes everything we learned in the flashback — minus Yusuke's complexities: he's fourteen, in middle school, is ill-tempered, violent, hates authority, and is a horrible student.

Typically, Yusuke responds by getting angry and trying to snatch the booklet out of her hands, only for Botan to pull it out of his reach, laughing. The tables have turned! Rather than being surrounded by people who cower at Yusuke's imposed authority, he now finds himself faced with someone who laughs at his transparent attempts to take control of the situation.

Calming down, Yusuke wants to know if the kid he saved is really alright and Botan offers to let him see for himself. That offer produces Yusuke's first, genuine smile.

They fly to the hospital where a doctor is in the process of giving the kid a clean bill of health, his mother crying with relief.

That's enough for Yusuke. “Alright, Botan, I’ve got no regrets, so you can take me to hell or wherever it is I’m going.”

That tells you all you need to know about Yusuke's self-worth, despite his bad boy attitude. His life is a dead-end as far as he can see and most of those around him haven't done anything to dissuade him of that idea. He says he doesn't care if the kid lives or dies, but then instinctively saves him. Post his death, Yusuke doesn't have anything he considers a regret, or anything he'd like to do before he leaves, like saying goodbye to a loved one. Oh, he's also pretty sure he's going to hell and has resigned himself to that without a fight.

Uplifting!

Botan just laughs though, saying that she's actually here to offer Yusuke an "ordeal" that could bring him back to life. See, he wasn't supposed to die today — let alone die saving a kid — and frankly they don't know what to do with him. It's another neat summary of what we've already learned: Yusuke is a far more complicated case than the afterlife assumed and now, when push comes to shove, deciding whether he belongs in heaven or hell is... muddled.

There's a fantastic story there about the problems with an afterlife that reduces a person's entire life to a few surface characteristics recorded in a book, refusing to acknowledge the context of their situation, or their capacity for change. “Run someone with your credentials a thousand times and they never would have saved a kid like that." Except, of course, Yusuke did save him, so those "credentials" are suspect, to say the least. However, YYH is not a story that explores these issues. Instead, I recommend you watch this!

Rather than being upset at the afterlife's low opinion of him (because let's be real, Yusuke shares it), he latches onto a little detail Botan let slip. If he wasn't supposed to die today... then was the kid?

Mmm... no. Actually, without the chaos of Yusuke jumping into the road, the driver would have swerved at the last second and the kid would have not only lived, but actually come out with one less scrape.

So Yusuke is obviously upset by this news! I would be too!! Holy shit, hang onto the "it's the thought that counts" message with everything you've got.

Also, don't think too much about the fact that the afterlife apparently knows exactly what will happen to people, down to how many cuts they accumulate in an accident. Also, don't think too much about where the afterlife foreseeing the crash begins and the unexpectedness of Yusuke interfering ends. That way lies madness. This will never come up again, so just let it go.

Sorry, 2013 me hijacked the post for a second.

As said, Yusuke is understandably upset by this revelation and as he fumes I'm reminded that this series likes to pull some amazing expressions.

Botan reiterates that it's all fine because Yusuke can come back to life. Weren't you listening? He should feel honored, in fact, considering that an offer like this only arrives every 100 years or so. Well, that explains why all of humanity isn't grappling with people coming back to life on the daily. One person every generation isn't going to cause much of a stir.

However, instead of jumping at the chance Yusuke announces that Botan is just like the teachers at school: she doesn't know what she's talking about. “You said yourself my life was kind of pathetic, right?” he says, going on to explain that everyone will be happier now that he's dead. His school won't have to deal with his behavior, Keiko won't have to nag him, and his mom will be able to party whenever she wants. It's a win-win for everyone involved.

Hmm, this feels familiar.

Don't worry, Yusuke doesn't need to experience a whole alternate reality to get the message.

“I’m sorry you feel that way at such an early age," Botan says and she is sorry, because despite her teasing nature that's a legitimately horrifying thing to believe. Yusuke won't budge though and after a little back-and-forth Botan leaves, telling Yusuke he should think it over while visiting his wake. She'll come back once he decides what to do.

“Do you have worms in your ears, lady? I did decide!” but Botan is long gone.

We cut to that night where Yusuke has indeed decided to attend his own wake. Maybe because of Botan's advice, maybe because he's just morbidly curious. We’re not given insight into the decision.

Atsuko is a mess, to put it mildly, not dressed for the occasion and sitting slumped against the way, staring vacantly as the guests offer their condolences. Yusuke is surprised by the fact that his entire class is here, but quickly writes them off when he sees two of the boys laughing. I'm on the fence about this detail, which I'll unpack in just a second.

First though, Yusuke sees Keiko exiting the house, inconsolable in her grief. She collapses on the ground with her two friends trying to offer comfort, despite the fact that they had nothing good to say about Yusuke himself. Good on them.

Before he can think too long on this though, Yusuke is distracted by Kuwabara's arrival. Unlike Keiko's crying, he expresses his grief through yelling. Specifically, yelling at Yusuke. For dying. For daring to "run away." His own friends are physically holding him back as he charges into the wake, screaming, “Who am I gonna fight now, huh? Who am I gonna fight?" It's not really about the fighting, of course. At least, not the fighting alone. "You’re supposed to be here for me," Kuwabara finishes, the punch he's thrown at Yusuke's photo going limp and catching his first tear.

You know, for all the goofy expressions, this show really is gorgeous. Just wait until we get to the fight animations.

Kuwabara's reaction is why I hesitate to write off the classmates like Yusuke has. Granted, we have no reason to believe that they care for him as Kuwabara does — they're nameless background characters defined only by their terror of "the great Urameshi" — but it's still a split second taken out of context. We don't know what they were laughing at, or if laughing is a part of their grief. God knows I personally laugh at the most inappropriate moments. If you tell me someone has just died there is a very good chance I will laugh awkwardly as I try to process that. It’s just a reflex. All of which I bring up not because these side characters are important, but because Yusuke's perception of his own worth is. The point of each of these moments is to show that those around him have always cared for him, even if Yusuke didn't notice. It's nice to think that extends to his classmates too. The variety likewise exists to show us how people grieve differently, with Kuwabara's friends not understanding that this is how he's working through the trauma: “This place is for mourning!” He is mourning, even if his way of mourning isn't as socially acceptable as Keiko's. So if screaming and throwing punches is valid, crying is valid, staring stoically in a drunk stupor is valid... why not laughter too?

Not likely, perhaps, but possible.

As an additional possibility to chew on, watching this premier again, it struck me how more emotional Kuwabara's scene is compared to Keiko's. Don't get me wrong, crying and calling Yusuke’s name gets the point across, but it's two seconds of generic grief compared to a much longer scene rife with intensity. When Kuwabara arrives the music swells and everyone is forced to pay attention to him. His grief is loud, violent, and given symbolism with his fist and the photo. There's more effort put into his reaction, frankly, so it wouldn't surprise me if fans started shipping them after this. That grief combined with an "enemies to lovers" possibility is a pretty potent mix. To be clear, Yusuke/Keiko is the (oh so obvious) canonical endgame and in the fandom Yusuke/Kuwabara can't compare to another slash ship that will turn up later, but this is a good example of how writers can craft some Very Gay Scenes without realizing it. When you have the girl crying prettily for a second and the guy absolutely losing his mind over Yusuke's death, questioning his purpose now, his support network, and then collapsing in grief... don't be surprised if your audience goes, "Oh hey, maybe they'd be a good couple instead."

But I digress.

The only people who are unquestioningly happy about Yusuke's passing are Mr. Iwamoto and his co-conspirator, Mr. Akashi. You know Akashi is another bad guy because he has bucked teeth and "ugliness" is an easy way to code for evilness. YYH is not immune to those mistakes :/

These two are really something else though, standing in the middle of a wake and claiming it's “too bad that car wasn’t big enough for them too," referring to Kuwabara and his friends. Wow! What stellar members of the academic community. Iwamoto goes on to say that Yusuke dying at least accomplished something good. Not, mind you, saving the life of a child, but rather looking good for their school's reputation. Akashi agrees, but says it's likely Yusuke only accidentally saved him while trying to steal the kid's lunch money. Remember, that accusation of theft is the one thing Yusuke has said outright that he does not do.

He's pissed listening to all this — wouldn't you be? — but knows by now he can't do anything about it. In another fantastic shot, Yusuke hovers his hand over Iwamoto's shoulder, desperate to grab him, when Takenaka's arrives there instead.

“What do you suppose is more disgraceful? That boy showing his misery, or your insensitive and idiotic words!”

HELL YEAH. You tell 'em, Mr. Takenaka.

Yusuke gets his third shock of the night at this passionate defense. Takenaka leaves the teachers to go pay his respects, but admits to Yusuke's picture that he just can't speak well of him. He was surprised to hear that Yusuke gave up his life for another and it's a fact that he acted selfishly. Though he doesn't say it in as many words, Takenaka explains that he's not grieving because Yusuke was a good person, but because it's so clear to him that he might have been. “Why didn’t you stay? You could have made something great out of yourself.”

Normally, "Why didn't you stay?" is just something for the living to grapple with, as the dead obviously don't have any say in what happens to them. But Yusuke does. It's here that the lighting grows soft again and Yusuke considers Takenaka's words. Keiko and Kuwabara grieve for who he was, but Takenaka grieves for who Yusuke could have been — someone that might still exist if Yusuke decides to undergo this ordeal.

Atsuko adds fuel to the emotional fire, breaking down and hiding her face in her knees.

Finally, the kid Yusuke saved arrives with his mother. Because yes, Yusuke saved him in every way that matters, considering no one else knows — or will know — that he'd have lived anyway. I like that the show doesn't allow that knowledge to undermine the emotion of their arrival, or what Yusuke’s act meant to them.

The mom tells her son to pay his respects and the kid thanks Yusuke for saving him, and for "making faces." He clearly doesn't get what's going on here. This is confirmed as the two leave and he asks his mom if he can play with Yusuke again tomorrow. “I know some people sounded angry at him, but he’s really nice!"

They're probably just crying because they want to play with him too, he thinks, which just makes his mom join in. Everyone is crying in this club tonight.

Those words are the cincher for Yusuke and with a brief montage of all the grief he's witnessed, he makes his decision.

We cut to later that night where Yusuke floats above the city, admiring the moon. Botan reappears and he asks, “Have you ever not known about something that seemed obvious to everyone else?” Yes, everyone has experienced that at one point or another. She asks if he's made his decision and Yusuke agrees to try and come back to life.

Emotional revelations out of the way, we're allowed another tone shift as Botan yells with joy, speeding off and causing Yusuke to grab hold of the end of her oar, lest he be left behind. Cranky as always, he demands to know where they're going. "To the spirit world, of course!" They're off to see someone who can explain the ordeal and give Yusuke the tool needed to complete it. Just hang on and enjoy the ride.

Thus ends our very first episode! Ah, the nostalgia. This is part one of a four arc series, with the anime cutting out a lot of the filler stories found at the start of the manga — a smart decision, I think. They primarily do the work of teaching Yusuke what he learned at the wake, so if you can accomplish that as quickly as the adaptation did, all the better. Especially since Yusuke needs to grow a great deal beyond the basic understanding that people might, sort of care for him, and that work will occur primarily through a job he's going to take on. The series isn't really about his death and it's not about an attempt to come back either — it's about what happens once you get that second chance. So this is the setup, but it's important setup all the same.

No need to skip ahead though. I've blathered enough for one recap. I hope you enjoyed and I'll see you when the writing gods next bless me with energy! 💜

#YYH #Yu Yu Hakusho #YYH recaps #mymetas

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