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simonrillleyyysss · 19 days

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Sweetest🖤

I have an idea for you, hear me out right:

Guarddog!Simon x f!reader (nsfw) :

• Simon is a hybrid, ex-military/rehabilitated illegal fighting. He's just existing now with no home.

• Reader is antisocial, working girl but she wants company and protection.

• She goes to adopt a companion, did not expect taking Simon since he was left isolated for being difficult.

• She gives him independence outright despite what she adopted him for but he stays, she treats him like a being.

• Lowkey they're enemies to lovers because they're both the same, grumpy x grumpy- they take time.

You can develop that dynamic and add in the nsfw, I'm thinking Simon goes crazy knowing he's intine with the readers cycle so when ovulation time hits - fireworks are given.

Feel free to change this however you'd like 🥀

thank u 4 this!! absolutely inlove!!! longest i’ve written in ages >_<

i feel like simon views himself as unloveable, unwanted and ruined goods;how could he not? he’s so easily irritable and snappy, always rude and unnecessarily passive-aggressive, he’d take up so much time in anyone’s schedule—let alone your own, originally, you weren’t signing up to be a free rehab program..you’re not an AA meeting for some mutt..

but, here you were.

he wasn’t ideal, but he would do. it took him centuries to get used to a life like this—free reign of his own path and livelihood, he wants to eat? go to the kitchen, sure. he wants to go for a walk? alright, be back soon. he’s like a baby going to nursery, he is timid but adapts.

clashing? always, he’s constantly starting you for something stupid and irrelevant, winding himself and you up.

“y’didn’t run me a bath today.”

“it’s not your bathtime, idiot.”

“well i want a fuckin’ bath.”

“well i want an actual fuckin’ pet.”

eventually ends up with you pushing(PS; trying to, he’s a rock.) him away from you while you tapped at the keys on the laptop, complaining about how you need to get this finished by tonight, shaking your head.

again, he cannot handle being pampered.

sometimes he’ll come and lay his head on your lap while glancing up at you, seemingly just to unwind and de-stress himself after something happened, and when you go to scratch his scalp? he’s snapping at you instinctively, listening to your yelp—reaching for his muzzle, has to mope around with it on all day. (he might’ve snapped on purpose, but he won’t admit that, will he?)

thing 1 and thing 2, you annoy him and he annoys you back, basically!

when he does eventually warm up to you and things like affection and gentle solidarity, he’ll soak it up.literally. sometimes you’ll just walk over to him, brush your hand over his hair and kiss the scar tracing the side of his scalp, he’ll just melt into you and attempt to follow you around all day, eventually draining your social and praise battery.

he does something nice? you call him a goodboy or goodman and he’s practically crushing you on the sofa that night, head burrowed comically in your chest like a pillow with his bushy tail wagging side to side. absolutely feeds off of your validation most of the time.

sometimes he’ll just walk up to you, lean down and place his head on your shoulder as if it’s a casual thing to do, you eventually begin to let him sleep in your room instead of your own if you’ve had a bad day.

“so annoying..”

“men suck.”

simon said, you sniffled, wiping your tears and engulfing your arms around the beast, listening to his low hums and embracing his gentle pecks to your cheek as if it were kisses from jesus himself. eventually, you begin to see him as more than a simple friend or companion.

it’s clear he feels the same, especially when he finds out you’re on your period and immediately tries to tug off your panties.. clearly, you had different ideas.

“no, simon—you’ll get grossed out.”

“instinct.”

“doesn’t mean you won’t get grossed out, it’s not like dogs.”

you have to coerce him not to mount you then and there, and to bugger off and do his own thing, his own thing is begging the tracking of your period on his phone.

when he finds out you’re ovulating? there’s no stopping this guy.

he’s hurriedly bending you over the kitchen table with his trousers bunched up around his thighs, cock springing free from his boxers.. wastes no time shoving himself inside, forcing the side of your face down onto the wood of the table, heavy balls slapping against the curve of your ass while you cunt enveloped him whole, lewd ‘plap’ sounds echoing throughout the newly cleaned kitchen..

bites down into your shoulder with his sharp canine, listening to your groan of complaint as your blade trickled crimson..your trembling digits rubbing quick circles on your aching clit—back arching into his free hand, which was now pushing you down further into the table, feeling you tighten around him..his tail wagging as he groaned out and spilled his cum inside of you, waiting for a few minutes before pulling himself out.

bedtime? folds you into a mating press, rutting into you like a rabid dog. (he, technically is, that rabid dog.) doesn’t stop till you’re squirting all over his abdomen and pleading for him that you’re already full enough.

“si—oh,i’m practicallymmmhh..practically overflowin’..”

“almost there..gonnafuckyoutillyourcarryin’..chhrriissttt-“

another load to add to your collection.

disappointed when he finds out you’re on birth control, not as disappointed when you find none in the container, just don’t check the bathroom..he didn’t have time to flush them yet.

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circeyoru · 1 month

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I just imagine the Overlords questioning Alastor on why the Collector likes him more

I like your stories and find them funny to read

This is for {Collection of Overlords}, check MASTERLIST for the work

Thank you for your readings!

Sorry this took so long to answer. It's cause I didn't have a clear picture of Reader as The Collector yet and the dynamics aren't set in stone then.

As for them asking Alastor why his favouritism is so high... They can ask but Alastor has no idea himself.

In the beginning, he thought everyone has the same treatment as him and he was recruited the same way as everyone else. He was aware that other stronger Overlords that he has yet to meet during his carnage could be the others in the Collector's/your collection since you said something like "my latest soul" to him. But he has no idea who or where they are. It's after receiving an invitation from an Overlord named Carmilla Carmine that he knew who the others were.

He knew he was being sized up and judged. He does the same to the others. When it was boring topic like exterminations, no one was paying attention really. But when it was you as a topic, now everyone's a buzz. They were all curious about Alastor's recruitment since they were all aware of the broadcast of screams.

After he shared it all, everyone saw the favouritism. He was already established as the Overlord that caught your attention and interest the fastest.

Then came the speculation as to why him. What's so special? He wasn't fearsome, Zestial outranks him in that. He wasn't informative and resourceful, Carmilla was much much better. He wasn't skillful in controlling minions, Rosie has that department. He wasn't physically strong, Zeezi can beat him like a ragdoll. So why?

Till now, no one has figured it out. Any that asks you why, including Alastor, would get a closed-eye look from you then you would chuckle saying that they were jealous and to not worry since you wouldn't give up anyone in your collection.

Now this was all before the Vees entered the collection. After they came, the older present Overlords assumed they knew why Alastor was favoured. The strongest human soul to descend into Hell. When you compare Alastor with the Vees, Alastor soundly beats them all in every area, and the other Overlords all agree on this. That says a lot.

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amostnobleyandere · 2 months

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Yandere! Incel! Scaramouche x NB! Reader

This is an 18+ blog!!!! If you don’t like yandere content or are a minor, do not interact. thank you!

CW: Yandere content, stalking, creepy scaramouche, incel behavior, creepy behavior, toxic relationships, kidnapping, his friends encourage and enable his problematic behavior, brief fantasizing about a domestic husband/spouse dynamic, forced romantic relationship, non-consensual touching

*also just to be clear, this is loosely based off the term “incel,” his behavior is more like a creepy recluse if anything?? I just couldn’t think of a better word to use and I thought it fit okay. there’s no misogyny or extremely gross behavior involved, but he is creepy so just. keep that in mind. anyways, enjoy!

—————————

Incel! Scaramouche who doesn’t get out much not because he has bad social skills (he does but that’s not the point), but because he loathes the idea of big crowds and being around lots of people. Socializing with people is already irritating enough, since he’s the only one on this earth who seems to have braincells. Why go out when he’s got everything he needs at home?

Incel! Scaramouche who has more money than he knows what to do with from his (insanely) loaded and emotionally distant mother (who gives it to him because she doesn’t know how to show affection any other way). he spends it all on expensive gaming set ups, take-out, and new technology all while being up in his top floor penthouse with a horizon line view.

Incel! Scaramouche who has friends, they’re just all online (and just as fucked up as he is) who he talks to (yells at) through the microphone while gaming.

Incel! Scaramouche who meets you while doing something mudane. He sees you at a grocery store picking over vegetables one day. Ignores you. 30 minutes later, he proceeds to bump into you and then acts like an asshole about you touching him, something that was clearly his fault. The two of you get into it, and eventually you’re the one to turn and walk away, already in a bad mood from the interaction. He’s interested now.

Incel! Scaramouche who isn’t delusional enough to convince himself that it’s fate, but who is curious enough to stalk follow you around for a while. He’s not hurting you or talking to you, what’s the harm done?

Incel! Scaramouche who while stalking monitoring you begins to note things about you. Unconsciously, of course. It’s not like his life revolves around you or anything. He just…starts to notice things. How you spend your days, what you like, what you don’t like, who you interact with and the places that you spend your time at the most. Soon enough he knows just as much about you habits and daily life as your friends do, if not more.

Incel! Scaramouche whos friends encourage his problematic behavior. They’re just as chronically online as he is, and have no conception of the morals and boundaries that come with having a healthy relationship. (Some of them, like Venti and Kazuha, even have a more romantic view of his infatuation interest, repeating that it’s okay to cross some lines, as long as it’s for love)

Incel! Scaramouche who has a weird view of relationships because his only knowledge on them comes from anime, the internet, and all the other types of weird media he consumes. (Should the kidnapping happen before or after your first date?) He’s not doing any of the cheesy shit the internet says. He’s not going to bring flowers, that would be stupid. (He’ll end up buying an overly large bouquet which he sends to your doorstep. there’s no note and you find it extremely creepy. You refuse to leave your home without pepper spray now)

Incel! Scaramouche who eventually just plucks you from the streets, right outside of your home/apartment building. No struggle to go along with it. Obviously you do fight back, but the men he hired to pick you up are far too experienced for you to even have a chance of running away.

Incel! Scaramouche who doesn’t really care about your feelings surrounding the whole situation. and well. he was getting a little lonely. most of his friends live too far away for them to meet up frequently, and it’s not like he’d want to see those crazy bastards everyday anyways. You’re much better company compared to those psychos, as much as he loathes to admit it. and you’re just so…pretty, and he can feel and touch you as much as he wants. it’s pleasant, and his apartment has never felt so full before, not at all empty like it did before he brought you here. you should be grateful you’re here too; he gives you everything you could ever want (within reason). really, you should feel grateful that you’ve been chosen by someone who’s so financially stable, who can provide for you.

you can have a good life with him, better than you could’ve had without him.

Incel! Scaramouche who kind of begins to see you as his little house spouse. nevermind that you’re here against your will; you’ve taken up doing chores around the house if only to fill the time, and it’s really only confirming his belief that kidnapping you was the best thing he could’ve done. when he comes through the door after a rare visit to the outside world and he sees you sitting there, idle, practically waiting for him? he feels like the typical breadwinner coming home to a loving domestic life. he’s not so delusional to think that you’re happy to be his little house spouse and captive, but it’s not like you can do anything about it, so he might as well enjoy the thought while he can.

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onlymingyus · 3 months

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Tied to your Body (Patreon Exclusive Teaser)

pairing; kim mingyu x f reader

genre; smut (minors dni), fluff (somehow)

warnings; TA!Mingyu, University Student!Reader, Camboy!Mingyu, Professor Joshua Hong (that's a warning), eating/drinking, alcohol, masturbation (m & f), lots of dirty talk, masturbation on stream, pictures taken and sent of dick/pussy, talk of sexual health, aftercare, Dom!Mingyu, sub!reader, Dom/sub dynamics, color system, subspace, dumbification, praise, pet names, degradation, crying, spitting on pussy, fingering, oral (f receiving), unprotected sex, cum eating, some light impact play -- I think that is everything.

w/c; 13.3k and some change (1.4 k this teaser)

a/n; I love camboy love sick Mingyu. thank you to @onlyhuis for betareading this for me! a huge thank you to @onlyseokmins for making the instagram graphics for me! thank you for your patience in waiting for this one. I really needed this break.

this fic is a Patreon Exclusive subscribe to my Patreon and click here

Running the back of your pen along your bottom lip, you sigh, finally leaning back from your desk. You had been looking at the same page of your physics textbook for an hour. It felt like your brain was beginning to feel like jello. A familiar ding from your cellphone made you bite down on the end of your pen as you reached for the phone, the corners of your lips pulling up into a slight smirk.

ariespic_46 is live

You tried not to waste your money. It was hard enough to be a college student and to share an apartment instead of living in a dorm but sometimes spoiling yourself was important. It was hard enough trying to balance a part-time job and a full-time course work schedule; you rarely found time to go to parties and the relationship pool was limited.

You had dated during your time at the university but it had been brief and no one had ever kept your attention for longer than a month. Over time, classes became more important and you found other ways to find pleasure, even if it cost you a few extra bucks a month to indulge in.

Opening your laptop, you find yourself entranced by the man on your screen as he smiles, leaning back in his chair. He never showed anything above his nose. You wished you could see his entire face. With as handsome as he was from the nose down, you were drooling over this camboy almost daily.

As ariespic_46 lets out a breath, you find yourself doing the same as you lay on your side on your bed in the dark. He was dressed in some tan dress pants, a white button up that was already unbuttoned down to the top of his abs, the sleeves pushed up to his elbows. He looked like a dream. You couldn’t help but look over every detail that you were privy to. He had the cutest freckle on the end of his nose and sharp canines that he bit down into his bottom lip with when he was especially horny, like now.

“Hi pups. I missed you.”

A small squeak slips from your lips when the man finally talks. He was such a tease. He would sometimes just sit there for minutes while the chat went crazy, asking for things, just his biceps flexing as he stretched out his fingers in clear amusement at how needy the chat was.

“Aw, you missed me too, didn’t you? That’s cute.”

The man leans his head back and you try to move your head so you can see more of him but as usual, it's in vain. He had his camera set up for this. He didn’t want his face fully on the screen and while you could respect it, you were still curious.

“It was a long day. You have no idea. I’m all wound up... Having to be this professional in front of others while I think about doing this later. God…” The man grins, his canines on display, as he lifts his hips, undoing his dress pants. “And then the teasing I put up with on a daily fucking basis. I don’t think she even realizes she’s doing it.”

You furrow your brows. He talked about some girl on his streams sometimes. You didn’t mind; no one seemed to. It got him even more excited to think about this girl who teased him during the day. You wondered what it would be like to be her—to be the one on his mind all day and night. The one that made him want to wrap his hand around his thick cock and stroke it until he came so hard. You imagine you are her sometimes; he makes it easy for you to, with how he talks to the stream.

“Wanna put you on your knees in front of me for teasing me like that?"

Watching ariespic_46 closely, your eyes follow as he kicks his pants somewhere off the screen. The man smirked, leaning back in his chair, knowing eyes were on him. He could see the viewer count and it never disappointed him. Your eyes were moving over the bit of his chest that was exposed as his fingers undid the rest of his shirt, leaving him in his dress shirt and briefs as a long, sighing groan slipped from his lips.

“Can’t help but think how pretty you’d look if you were. So fucking pretty every day and acting so innocent like you don’t realize I’m looking at you.”

You sigh, your bottom lip jutting out, as the man talks to the girl through you and the other viewers. You feel a bit of shame as you run your fingers along your stomach and play with the tie of your pajama pants but it’s not enough to stop you.

Glancing at the comments, you can’t help but agree with a few of them, saying they’d never ignore him. You couldn’t imagine ignoring someone like ariespic_46, not on purpose. There was no one who went to your university who came close to looking like him.

When the man wraps his fingers around his cock for the first time, you have to close your eyes to the sound that slips out between his pretty lips. You loved the sounds he made. He never tried to keep them quiet or to himself. He just let them be as erotic as possible and it made you drip around your fingers that were now slowly sliding through your folds.

“Are you being a good girl for me? My pretty little pup? Are you gonna cum for me when I cum tonight?”

Whimpering, you nod even though he can’t see you. You weren’t one who took the time to comment while he touched himself and spoke. You knew he wouldn’t recognize names from chat anyway. He did, however, acknowledge tips and that you did when you let yourself think with your pussy more than your brain.

“Mm, thank you, Nabi.”

Hearing part of your username on ariespic_46’s lips as he moans, pre-cum slipping over his fingers, makes you press your lips together. You hadn’t sent him much—just $30—but for a student, that was more than you should be spending on porn.

Pressing your nose against your arm, you adjust yourself on the bed, watching the man groan louder as he got closer to his climax. You had started to be able to tell when it was going to happen. The way his mouth fell open, the way his groans got more urgent and drawn out, his fingers of his right hand gripping the arm of his chair for dear life as he stroked himself through his climax with his left.

Most nights when you watched his streams, you would end up doing exactly what ariespic_46 wanted and cum soon after he had but other nights, like tonight, you would end up panting as your thighs pressed together out of need. You knew there was always more, even as the man on the screen laughed, stretching his fingers out to show the camera all the cum dripping from him.

"Fuck, that was good. I have to get cleaned up. Bye, baby. See you next time.”

The stream stated it had ended, and you find yourself on your back with your phone in one hand, waiting for what came next. Not only did you tip because it made you feel good to hear even your username on the man’s lips but also for what he would give you. A notification stating you had a direct message from ariespic_46 pop’s up at the top of your screen and you find yourself giggling like a teenager getting a message from a crush.

ariespic_46: have a good night, nabi 🦋 thank you🖤 [picture attached]

Staring at the message for a moment, you bite at your bottom lip before your thumbs move over the keyboard to reply. You knew you didn’t have to, and that he probably didn’t check replies but it felt important to you.

nabi.wings: anytime, thank you for the stream ❣️

Taking a breath, you finally press down on the link for the picture, only to moan at the sight. It was one thing to see his cock and fingers covered in cum on the stream but it was another entirely to see it in a picture like this. Now was when you couldn’t help but let your fingers wander lower. Now you could let yourself let go of any shame you were feeling before and just let yourself pretend for a little while that he had cum this much for just you.

READ THE FULL FIC ON PATREON HERE

#mingyu smut #seventeen smut #svthub #svt smut #mingyu x reader #seventeen x reader #svt x reader #patreon

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honeyhotteoks · 5 months

Text

this night together - chapter ten (j.yh + s.mg)

chapter ten: the truth

chapter summary: seonghwa needs a friend and you say goodbye to your friends and goodbye to them as tour begins.

warnings: nothing too explicit except there is a frank discussion about alpha/omega/beta dynamics and pack dynamics that somewhat mirror real life lgbtqia+ issues like family not being accepting, societal pressures, etc.

notes: thank you all for waiting for me, i can't thank you enough honestly. it took a while to push through and get through the middle of this fic, but we're there. today (12.3) is a special update day, i'm posting three chapters - ten, eleven, and twelve. make sure you're reading in order starting here!

pairings: alpha!yunho x alpha!mingi x omega!reader

genre: smut, a/b/o/omegaverse, angst, fluff, romance, polyamory

word count: 5k

previous chapter | next chapter | AO3

Surprisingly the next few weeks pass with relative ease. It’s not painful like before, the crushing weight of their cold isolation. This time you all know exactly where you stand, and with you asking them for space it feels like you’re a little more in control of when and how the next conversation with them occurs.

You spend the weeks working, keeping things cordial in the studio, and seeing your friends. Keeping things busy gives you less time to step back into that studio room and wonder what you should have done differently, so you fill your schedule up to the brim. In looking forward to the tour and the impending lack of your social circle, you start to reach out little by little to other members of the BB Tripping group too.

There’s a gap in your life without them, but for now that has to be okay. For now, you grow your life in every other way you can.

You’re able to focus on everything else until Seonghwa calls.

Little cafe meetups aren’t out of the ordinary for you both, but meeting at a new spot halfway across Seoul is. You’re normally so attached to the neighborhoods around the studio, so the idea that you’d actually have to take the subway and follow directions on your phone sends little warning signals up your back. He sounded mostly fine on the phone, but something a little whispered in his tone left you agreeing to meet immediately.

He said he just wants to see you one more time before the tour, but you feel the strange bubble of pretense around the whole set up. When you finally get there, after thirty minutes and much confusion, he meets you at the door with a clear expression of relief. He buys you a coffee and a fancy tiered pastry, and then shuffles you towards the empty, far end of the cafe.

“The trip wasn’t too bad?” He checks as he pulls out your chair, “I wanted to try this place,”

A smooth lie, but you’ll let it go, “It was fine,” you assure him, “this street is cute,”

“Mm,” He nods.

You have so, so many questions, but you start small, “Three months,” you sigh, settling into the seat, “it feels kind of weird,”

“Yeah,” Seonghwa pushes your chair in and takes his own seat, “it’s hard to pack for a tour,”

“I can’t even imagine,” You grimace.

“You get really sick of miniature toiletries after about a week,” He says, “and you’d think that all the travel would be great, but you end up sitting in hotel rooms most of the time.”

“Well,” You shrug, “you can always call me for an update on the studio,”

“Oh, I will,” He laughs, “the time difference is pretty tough though,”

“Still,” You insist, “we’ll make it work.”

Silence lulls between you, he nods at your words but doesn’t say much else, and you watch as he fingers fiddle with the handle of his cup, restless and seemingly on edge. He needs something, you just don’t know what.

“Seonghwa,” You murmur, “is everything okay?”

“Yes,” He drops his hand into his lap, “completely fine,”

You chew the inside of your lip, wondering whether to press him, “Are you sure?”

He looks down for a moment and then nods, “Everything is fine, but I wanted to talk to you about something,”

“Okay,”

“Me and San,” He says in a rush of exhaled breath.

“Oh,” Your eyes widen, completely blindsided by his words. You thought if he chose to share this with you it would be months, years even. He was so closed off after your heat that you assumed you’d let it lie, just like Wooyoung, but here you are.

“You said I could talk to you about this,” He continues when he sees your expression, “but if,”

“Of course you can,” You shake off your expression as fast as you can, “I just didn’t know that’s what you were going to say.”

“It’s just that I’ve been thinking a lot about it,” He says, “especially considering everything you’ve been dealing with,”

You nod, but keep quiet.

“I don’t know, I thought it would be good to get it out there,” He confesses.

“Then I’m here, I’m listening,” You lean forwards, nodding again in encouragement.

He takes a moment to get his words together, and it suddenly makes sense why he wanted to try a cafe in a neighborhood neither of you lived or worked near. He reached out to you to talk about this, to finally share with someone, and he wanted to be one hundred percent sure no one from your lives would overhear.

“Our thing,” Seonghwa nods and you know he means his relationship with San and Wooyoung, “it started off a lot like yours.” He doesn’t need to say their names, you know who he means.

You smile, “Accidental and stressful?”

“Definitely accidental,” He nods, “we had been friends for years, and Wooyoung always dealt with his heats outside of work and without us really knowing much about it,”

“Really?” You find that hard to believe with how much he overshares.

“Mhm,” Seonghwa turns the cup on his saucer one way and then back the other as he figures out how to start. “Usually anyways, but about two years ago he was out for his heat leave like normal, and he called San in a panic. The alpha he arranged to meet flaked out on him and he was too far gone at some heat hotel in Incheon. He didn’t have anything he needed, the alpha was supposed to bring it all,”

“God,” You grimace at the thought.

“Exactly,” Seonghwa nods, “he was in a lot of pain and he was really scared,”

“Of course,”

“San called me,” Seonghwa explains, “he was nervous about spending Wooyoung’s heat with him, even though he agreed.”

You nod, but stay quiet to give him the space to continue.

His eyes dart down, a little unfocused as he sinks into the memory of it, “He was so concerned about hurting Wooyoung or doing the wrong thing, and he was begging me to give him advice. Advice just turned into me offering to drive him to Incheon and helping him shop for supplies, and before you knew it I was up in the room with them both.”

“Wooyoung was okay with that?” You ask.

He nods, “Wooyoung was fine, more interested in making sure neither one of us was uncomfortable between his heat spikes,”

You nod again.

Seonghwa looks back up to you then and sighs, “Before Youngie’s heat, I had a bit of a crush on San. It was really nothing, just a bit of a flirtation in my mind. Someone to think about alone at night, you know,”

“Yeah,” You think of Yunho for a brief, flashing second and the way you used to watch him around the studio.

“But that heat changed everything,” He smiles, a little sadly, “I think you know what I mean.”

You fight the urge to reach across the table and take his hand, fearful that you might break his willingness to open up.

“The funny part,” He says, a fresh crease between his brows, “is that San felt the same way. We both knew alpha pairings were a little unorthodox, but for a while we didn’t care. We carried on for a few months, but we kept it quiet so it didn’t interfere with work or any of our friendships.”

Your eyes widen.

“Wooyoung still doesn’t know about that part,” He says quietly, “so I’d appreciate it if you kept that between us,”

“Of course, Hwa,”

“Things started to go further though. We were going on dates without calling them dates, sleeping at each other’s places, leaving things behind. We were texting all the time, sneaking kisses in the locker room,” He explains, “we just couldn’t leave each other alone.”

He goes quiet again, and this time you do reach across the table, resting your hand over his twitching fingers, “What happened?”

He swallows tightly and he looks away again, but his hand turns under yours to press your palms together, “One morning San asked if I wanted to spend the weekend in Namhae, he missed his family and thought it would be nice if we all spent some time together.”

“Oh,” You breathe, the pieces of their story falling together in front of you so easily.

“I couldn’t do it,” He confesses, “and I said some things I shouldn’t have. I told him that I loved him, but that our friendship was what mattered to me, and that we were kidding ourselves by not trying to find omegas of our own.”

Your cringe, “Seonghwa,”

“I know,” He breathes, his head dropping, “it was cruel.”

“Your relationship,” You squeeze his hand, “what you had with San wasn’t wrong, you know that right? It’s perfectly,”

His head snaps up, “I know it’s not wrong.”

It feels like all the air has been sucked out of the room at the expression in his eyes, fierce determination as he snaps to defend himself. You stay silent.

“I’m sorry,” He shakes his head, pulling his hand back, “I do know that, that’s not why I broke it off.”

“Then,”

“My family is very traditional,” Seonghwa says, “they believe that alphas and omegas are made as a perfect match. They believe that every alpha has a destined omega and that a bond, a claim, should be between one alpha and one omega only.”

“That’s so,” You trail off, unable to really form the words. Traditional is a kind, sanitized word for what it is. You would have said bigoted, downright prejudicial, and your chest aches at the idea that he grew up cocooned in that kind of indoctrination.

“Hypocritical,” His cheek twitches, “considering my parents loathe each other.”

You smile at that, “I’m sorry,”

He shrugs, his cool exterior slotting back into place, “It’s a shame that we’re not a scent match, honestly. My parents would be so proud of me if I brought you home,”

You take his hand again, brushing smoothly past his comment, “Are they so traditional they don’t believe in packs either?”

“That’s worse,” He crinkles his nose, “to them.”

Packs have always been a little controversial, especially with the rise in beta designations and the decreasing likelihood that omegas will find a true honest-to-god scent match, but it’s not unheard of. Polyamory and packs have started to crop back up in popular media, and it’s becoming more and more common to see an omega paired with two or more alphas despite the traditionalist view that it’s a return to baser, more primal instincts. You were raised knowing packs were an option, but as you listen to Seonghwa and understand his past, you know everything for him was the opposite.

“I really am sorry,” You murmur, “it must have been difficult to grow up surrounded by that mindset.”

He nods, and then takes a long sip of his untouched coffee.

The threads are coming together more clearly, but there’s still a question lingering in your mind and the words leave you without any real consideration, “If you don’t believe that, then why break it off with San?”

He grimaces, “My parents are fairly wealthy,”

Your stomach turns icy.

“And you know the money in dance isn’t exactly overwhelming,” He explains, “they’ve always offered their financial support to me, but it’s incredibly conditional.”

“Hwa,” You breathe.

“San thought I chose the money over him,” Seonghwa leans back in his chair, separating your hands again and resting his wrists on the edge of the table, “I tried to explain the situation to him, I tried to apologize for what I said and ask him for more time… time to figure everything out and to be able to be financially independent from them, but all he heard was that I wasn’t willing to lose the money.”

You shake your head, but he keeps going.

“You know how he is, he’s more headstrong than anyone I’ve ever met. Once he has an idea, there’s no telling him differently.” Seonghwa explains.

“But it’s not true,” You’re suddenly so frustrated with Choi San you could wring his neck.

“It is what it is, y/n,”

“But,” You trail off, deflated, “aren’t you still seeing each other?”

“No,” He says firmly, “only for Wooyoung’s heats.”

“And that’s what? Working out fine?” Your eyebrows dart up.

“For now,” He sighs, “and I’m under no big illusion that he’s going to forgive me and we’re going to go riding off into the sunset. He told me he wanted to be friends and he wanted us to continue being there for Wooyoung and we just let it go back to the way it was, and honestly,” his voice softens, “I’ll take some of him, even if I can never have all of him.”

“Oh, Hwa,”

His eyes are a little watery, but it clears quickly and he clears his throat, “Anyways, that’s it. That’s the tragic little story.”

“That’s just not fair,” You shake your head, “you should be together,”

He shakes his head, “Maybe, but I’m not willing to risk losing what I do have.”

“If San understood,” You start.

“Listen,” He cuts you off, “I know it seems like there should be this big movie scene, where we both admit we hurt each other and put it all behind us, and build a little pack together and have lots and lots of babies, but I just don’t think that’s going to happen. I’ve made peace with that.”

You can see plainly that he hasn’t, but in the same way he doesn’t push you on your relationship with Yunho and Mingi, you take a calculated step back from pressing down on this particular nerve.

“Okay,” You say, “well then thank you for telling me, and I’m here if you ever need to talk about it.”

“Thank you,” The air leaves him in a relieved rush.

“And Woo doesn’t know?” You’re hard pressed to believe that.

He shrugs lightly, “He knows something, we’ve spent enough heats together for him to see what’s there, but it’s not something we discuss.”

“Got it,” You murmur.

“And you?” He turns the conversation back with ease, “Have you thought about what you’re going to do?”

You nod, “I’m just going to leave it for a while. I’ll apologize when they come back and the air is cleared a little,”

“Apologize?”

“They’re not the only ones who’ve messed things up,” You tell him honestly, “and if I could take back what I said, I would.”

“Me too,” Seonghwa smiles softly.

“Besides,” You lean back in your chair, “you’ll all be gone tomorrow, and I’m sure I’ll talk to you and Woo and San, but you’ll be busy and in a completely different timezone. It’ll be for the best,”

“Maybe a change of scenery will be good for them,” Seonghwa adds.

“I hope so,” You murmur.

“I’m honestly surprised they haven’t said anything to me,” He points out, “but it’s been the same as always,”

“Really?”

He nods, smiling a little, “I thought for a second Mingi was being a little cold, but he just had earbuds in and couldn’t hear me,”

You laugh sharply, “Well,” you shrug, “I really gave it to them. Maybe they realized being jealous isn’t a good look, especially if we’re ever going to get the chance to be friends or try this again with a clean slate.”

Seonghwa chews at the inside of his lip for a moment and then sighs, “y/n, do you want to know what I really think?”

You dip your head, gesturing for him to continue.

“I think they’re idiots, and I think they acted like assholes and you deserve an apology for it,” You can sense that there’s something more and he continues, “but I’ve made those mistakes. I’ve pushed away someone I care about, I’ve said the wrong things, and I’ve had a hell of a time trying to patch it back together.”

Your stomach twists.

“I’m not telling you what to do,” He says, “but I’ve known Yunho and Mingi for a long time. I see the way they look at you, the way they talk about you. There’s more than just an attraction there, there’s something real for all of you.”

“That’s the part that’s terrifying,”

“Yeah,” He nods, “and you know, maybe don’t take advice from me, the guy whose love life is beyond a mess, but I also don’t want you to regret anything here.”

You reach for his hand again and take it without hesitation.

“I just need to think it through,” You say softly, “and then be brave,”

Seonghwa nods. You think that maybe if you can be brave, he can too, but you both let that thought lie in the space between you untouched. You don’t need to press him, not after everything he just shared with you and how much more you’re sure is there under the surface, but the thought is still understood by you both just the same.

“I know you’ll do what’s best for you,” Seonghwa adds after a moment, “but until then,”

“Until then let’s not think about it anymore,” You finish his words for him.

He takes another deep breath, and you can see the way telling his secret has lifted something away from his shoulders. He takes another long sip of his coffee and then finally he says, “Do you have anything else you’re doing today?”

You shake your head.

“Want to wander around and help me buy unnecessary travel accessories?” He grins.

“Seonghwa,” You squeeze his hand, “I would love nothing more,”

“Great,” He runs a hand through his hair, “then let’s go back to Hongdae, I don’t know any of the stores over here.”

“You owe me a train ticket,” You nudge him as you start to gather up your things.

“I bought you a coffee,” He points out, standing with you.

“You always buy my coffee,”

“Fine,” He rolls his eyes but you can see that it’s playful, “I’ll buy you a little thank you present for coming all the way out here,”

“That’s more like it,” You tease, pressing yourself up on your tiptoes and giving him a quick peck on the cheek, “now let’s go home,”

Despite your long goodbye afternoon with Seonghwa, it’s harder to really say goodbye to them all on the day than you thought it would be.

When the last practice before their flight is over, everyone dressed in their coats and hats and ready to go for the night, all of the BB Trippin crew lingers in the front entrance hall. Well wishes, talks of food to try, jet lag tips, the weather. You try to ignore the full suitcases by the door.

It isn’t until the very last moment that the real feeling of it starts to sink in.

Wooyoung’s arms are banded tightly around you when the realization of just how long three months is barrels over you in full force. You take a hitched little breath hiding in his shoulder and get your emotions in check, but it’s starting to become readily apparent now. You’re going to miss them, not just your friends, but them too.

There’s a part of you that fantasizes about throwing up your hands and confessing all your conflicting feelings, chasing them down in the airport like an old movie and laying it all on the line, but you’re not going to actually do that. It’s not fair to anyone if you do something like that. You laid out boundaries for the past few weeks, they more than respected them, and you have no doubt they’ll stay silent over the next few months just like you requested.

“I’m not going to war,” Wooyoung laughs, squeezing you back once as he tries to extricate himself from your arms, “it’s just tour,”

“No, I know, I know,” You clear your throat softly, “I’m going to miss you though,”

“Me too,” He smiles, running a hand through his hair as he steps back.

When you step back from him, Mingi and Yunho are closer than they were a few moments ago and they’re keeping their eyes elsewhere but you can’t let them go without a single word. You can’t. If anything happens to them you’d regret it so deeply, and your hand shoots out to brush along Mingi’s arm.

His eyes flash with recognition for a second, but he remains cool and calm when he turns to you and you watch Yunho follow suit.

“Have safe flight,” You manage, your chest tight at the idea that this is really it.

“You too,” Mingi says and then he sighs as he realizes his mistake, “not flight, obviously,”

“Right,” You smile, his awkwardness breaking the tension between you so easily.

“Be safe here,” Yunho offers, correcting the sentiment, “and good luck with all the debut preparation, I know it’ll go smoothly with you and Dahan handling things,”

Your chest warms, “Thank you, Yunho,”

He nods and then takes a step back, and suddenly there’s nothing more to say.

“Well, we should go,” Yunho clears his throat, “goodbye, y/n,”

“Bye,” You manage.

“Bye, y/n,” Mingi nods, turning to take the handle of his suitcase from Yunho.

They start towards the door, and you offer a final goodbye, and then a hand in the middle of your back draws your eyes to the side at Seonghwa.

“Safe flight,” Seonghwa murmurs the tease low into your ear as he gives you a fast hug.

“Shut up,” You shove him as subtly as you can.

He smiles, a little mischievously, “I’ll text you when we land.”

“Good,” You nod, “get some sleep on the plane,”

He salutes as he steps back and drops an arm around Wooyoung’s shoulders, “Yes, ma’am,”

You roll your eyes more obviously this time, but before they continue their teasing, Wooyoung tugs his friends closer to the door, “Alright, alright, I’m exhausted and our cab’s outside,”

“Bye, y/n,” Seonghwa calls over his shoulder as Wooyoung shoves him out the door, and you can hear San laughing from just outside, Yunho’s voice echoing beside it.

Movement from the door draws your eye, and Mingi hitches his duffle bag up over his shoulder. His lips quirk up in the smallest smile, and he waves, just a little.

You wave back with a nod, and then he’s gone.

The studio moves forward just the same. Quieter, but the same.

You and Dahan spend your time focused on the debut, and despite how much you think of them for just a flicker before you drop off into sleep every night, your body is so tired from work that your mind never dwells for too long.

Weeks pass around you in a busy blur

Three months doesn’t seem so long as it whips by around you, not unless you really let yourself slow down and think about it. You still get updates from your friends as they hop from city to city, photos online of New World where you can see your best friends in the back, and then their Instagram updates of every new strange dish they try.

Yunho and Mingi stay quiet, just like you needed, until one night they don’t.

The email sitting unread at the top of your inbox was sent three days ago. You rarely check your inbox, and there’s a real chance you would have missed this message entirely, but you just happened to be looking for an authentication code at the exact right time and there’s no mistaking what this email is when you stumble across it. There’s no subject, but there is a little preview pane of the first line and your breath catches in your throat when you see it.

y/n - You said don’t text and don’t call, but you never said don’t email.

Your heart tightens in your chest and you double check the email address. You don’t have it saved, but just know it’s Mingi. You need a drink for this. You step away from your desk and run your hands through your hair, heart beating fast, and you try to decide what to do as you leave your room for a breath and a glass of anything.

You pour some wine with shaky hands, the quiet of your apartment feeling so loud around you. If you open it, you won’t be able to live in an ignorant little bubble anymore. You could delete it, really put your foot down about no contact and keep moving on. You could do that.

You’re back at your desk seconds later with your cursor hovering over the email.

He’s not wrong. You never said don’t email.

With a gulp of wine for courage, you press down and brace yourself.

y/n -

You said don’t text and don’t call, but you never said don’t email. I’m not sending this so you’ll reply, I’d prefer if you didn’t, but honestly I’m not always the best at saying something in the moment. Please forgive this.

I’ve thought a lot about us the past few weeks and I wanted you to know that I understand why you’re confused. It was hard to see it before. Something made me insane when you said you slept with Seonghwa, and I can see how all that alpha shit would make sense, but that wasn’t it. Not all of it anyways. I’ve spent so much time thinking it through and what really upset me wasn’t that you were with somebody else or even that it was him. I was so fucking mad at myself for letting us go back to being friends. Especially now that I know you wanted us too and we wrecked it. I feel like a fucking coward, and I swear to god I’ve never been a coward before. You make me feel things and do things that make no sense. It’s hard to make sense of anything when we’re together except that I like being with you.

These things are so much easier to say when you’re not here. Yunho’s better at this kind of thing, and you’re so good at it sometimes I can’t keep up.

I want to say that I’m sorry for all of it. I really didn’t do any of it right. You didn’t choose us that night but you did trust us, you trusted me and I’ve done nothing but hurt you since that weekend ended. I thought you wanted to go back to being friends, but when I saw you at the studio the day after I couldn’t do it. I thought if I talked to you I would just cross too many lines, I didn’t realize how much more I wanted from you until you left. But I thought about how much it would hurt you if I pushed it too far at work, and then I thought about how much it would hurt Yunho if you wanted me and not him. Or how much it would hurt me if it were the other way around. Or what would happen if you didn’t want us at all?

I think I should tell you that Yunho and I didn’t talk for a few weeks either, not really. I think we were all just waiting for the other person to say something, but the whole time we were hurting you. I’m so sorry for that.

I feel bad about the kiss too. I just panicked, I didn’t know what to do to make you stay. I know it wasn’t the right time, so I’m sorry for that too.

Yunho is sorry too by the way. Someday if we ever talk about this, he’ll tell you himself, but he’s my best friend and I just have to tell you that he hates himself for how he treated you. He’d be so pissed if he knew I was sending this to you, but you have to know it.

I feel like there’s so much more I could say… things that I want the chance to explain to you, things about how I felt before we ever got together, but you said we missed our chance and I have to learn how to respect that. That’s why I don’t want you to respond to this letter. I wanted to send this because I don’t think I can do this face to face right now, I tried to be honest in the studio that night and all I did was make it worse. I hope you at least read this and can understand that, and I promise I won’t write to you again.

I want you to know that Yunho and I talked, and we agreed on what to do. We won’t reach out, we won’t push you. When we come home, we’d like the chance to be friends again like we were. We want you to feel comfortable with us again and to trust us again. I know we missed our chance, but being friends with you is always going to be better than nothing.

We care a lot about you. I hope through all the noise you can still feel that.

While we’re away please be safe and be happy.

Please don’t respond. Mingi

You read it again, and again for good measure. After the fourth time you close your laptop tight and leave it far away from you. You want to tell him that you’re sorry too, that they’re not alone in making mistakes after your heat and that you all fucked it up together. A perfect mix of insecurity and biology and doubt and fear boiling over to make sure none of you opened up to each other and just said what you wanted. But you don’t say any of that.

You’ll tell them when they’re home.

For once you think the right thing to do is to listen.

You don’t respond.

a/n: reminder, i am no longer doing taglists as they became too unruly to properly maintain. please turn on post notifs, check my blog regularly, or subscribe on ao3 to get immediate updates.

#this night together fic #honeyhotteoks fics #ateez #yunho x reader #mingi x reader #yungi x reader #ateez ff #ateez fic #yunho fic #yunho ff #mingi fic #mingi ff #ateez series

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miraculous-ninjabird · 3 months

Text

Musing on this scene and how on a surface level it…doesn’t really make sense. Especially to someone with no prior background to these characters.

At this point in the story we know very little about Dazai’s past and even less about Chuuya. The only things we know for sure are that a.) these two have a shared history, b.) thanks to that shared history, they knew each other very well and c.) points a and b are not good things because they despise each other.

With those three facts being the only things we really know, it doesn’t really make sense for Chuuya to do that. Why would he? It’s fairly humiliating, it’s clear that Chuuya is completely fed up with Dazai’s bullshit, and there is literally nothing stopping him from storming off in a rage. On top of that, the bit isn’t even all that funny.

However, I think that’s what actually makes it an excellent choice because it throws a wrench of sorts in the dynamic that’s been established. We don’t yet know the depth of their connection but this moment right here prompts a halt. It genuinely makes you go. Wait. That doesn’t make any sense. And I think that’s the point becuase in doing that it prompts people to start thinking that maybe this relationship is more than it seems on the surface. Maybe there is more to this dynamic than just jaded ex-partners who can’t stand each other.

When you look at it from that angle, all of a sudden it does make sense. As the story builds on Chuuya and Dazai’s past and present relationship, it only serves to support that first little inkling of ‘maybe this isn’t quite as it seems’

Going back to that scene with the knowledge that their relationship doesn’t begin and end at the surface portrayal shifts the scene from an unfunny, nonsensical bit to a dumb (but important) inside joke. A call and response where Dazai is, in a way, testing the waters. It’s a way for him to get a feel for where he and Chuuya currently stand after a selling separation without having to come outright and ask for it.

Dazai telling chuuya he’s going to act like a rich little princess has no apparent benefit other than Dazai thinks it’s funny. Yet it can also be a way of him asking ‘Hey. It’s been awhile and we’ve both been through a lot. Are we okay?’

Chuuya initially not responding but then later giving in and doing exactly what Dazai wants him to do despite the fact he clearly frustrated by the insistence and humiliated by the idea is his way of saying ‘I’m pissed as hell at you right now. You’re fucking menace. But yeah. We’re good’

And I love that. I love the way the scene is built in a way that so early on establishes that they are not ordinary enemies. I love the way it tells you to watch closely because their bond runs far deeper than you could possibly imagine but you won’t see it unless you look for it.

#bungou stray dogs #dazai osamu #chuuya nakahara #skk #but honestly it’s not even romantic #this holds true regardless of wether or not you ship them #in one way or another Dazai and Chuuya share a deep indescribable bond built on shared experiences and unshakable trust #soukoku

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agustdiv1ne · 10 months

Note

CONGRATS ON 3K ASHLEE 🥳🫶🏼✨ you’re truly amazing and here’s to many more milestones!!

right so, ik this isn’t a movie, but I was wondering if you could do something along the lines of bridgerton + beomgyu + fluff and smut please 🥹 but if it really is just movies, then titanic with the same member and genre please <3 thank you in advance <3

NOW SHOWING...

pairing: choi beomgyu x fem!reader

genre: historical fiction, romance, fluff, smսt

wc: 4.2k

details + warnings: mdni, beomgyu and mc's characters are jack and rose adjacent but they actually have a happy ending bc i said so <3, mentions of alcohol, no established dom/sub dynamics but gyu takes the lead a bit, soft + romantic sex, fingering (f receiving), unprotected sex (don't do this!!), my big dick gyu agenda makes an appearance, light dirty talk, a little possessiveness, beomgyu calls mc: love, beautiful

note: SMILES!! TYSM <33 you are one of of my longest moots and i appreciate you and your talent so much! i've unfortunately never watched bridgerton (or else i would have used that ;-;), though i do adore titanic so i ultimately went with that ^^

you have found sunsets to be far more magnificent at high sea.

tonight brings one that is, by far, one of your most beloved from the voyage thus far: a sky flushed a deep rose, billowing clouds contrived of fairy floss drifting above your head. the horizon holds clear where the roseate hue melts into the ocean and scatters about the peaks of gentle waves. it's quite a breathtaking sight, almost too good to be true. a painting; that is what it resembles — you wish that you could reach up and brush your hands through it, watch it coat and swirl about your fingertips like smudged pigments on canvas.

leaning against the railing, you inhale a deep breath of fresh, salt-heavy air. it stings as it fills your lungs. despite the beginnings of spring, the weather has remained chilly, growing further frigid whenever the sky fades to black. now, the sun hangs low, sinking closer and closer to the sea that awaits to swallow it whole — you will be forced to return back inside soon.

sighing quietly, your mind wanders to beomgyu, the man who has won over your affections over the past five days. you wish he could be here with you to see this picturesque display. where is he right now? on one of the lower decks, perhaps? should you go find him?

does he miss you as much as you do him?

not even half a day has passed since you last saw each other, but these thoughts swirl within your brain nonetheless. busy mixing with pretentious elites and the potential suitors your mother demanded that you meet throughout the day, you hadn't found time to sneak away and meet with him despite your aching desire to. you just barely avoided your mother's watchful gaze to escape out here and finally be able to breathe.

as naïve as it may sound, you feel as though you've known the charming man your entire life. strangers with a divine connection — you ponder if you must have known beomgyu in a past life, fell for him just as you do now. your typically rational mind supplies you with grandiose ideas of running away, of fleeing this suffocating, predetermined path that you were born into. he is a breath of fresh air after all of the men that you have met who only wish to marry and mold you into a submissive, obedient housewife that they can then neglect. unlike those men — no, you think, those insolent boys, he is not hungry to further his wealth, to fasten his name to yours for the sake of status. he doesn't expect you to change yourself. rather, he takes you as you are, with all your sharp edges and imperfections, and worships you down to the marrow of your bones.

the longing to wander the entire ship until you find him strikes you square in the chest like a sack of flour, knocking the breath from your lungs. your heart aches. you want to see him. you must see him.

“i should’ve known i’d find you out here.”

it's quite strange, how the hand of fate plays its cards. you whip your head around, and there he is, with his sun-kissed skin and wind-tousled hair, as if he had somehow heard your thoughts and rushed to meet you. the upward quirk of his lips conveys both fondness and mischief while he moves closer to you, gentle hands wrapping around your waist. you mirror his expression, relief flooding your system at his well-timed arrival. sliding your hands over his shoulders, you link your fingers together around the nape of his neck.

“gyu,” you whisper while you surge forward to embrace him, pressing your face into the junction between his neck and shoulder. he nearly stumbles, but quickly regains his balance, returning the hug. “i missed you.”

“we saw each other this morning,” he chuckles, but the way his arms tighten around you betray his true emotions.

you deliver a light pinch to his neck in jest, mumbling against his neck, “you’re impossible.”

this simply makes him laugh harder, his chest shuddering against your own. he curls a hand under your chin to remove your face from his neck, and his chestnut-colored eyes find yours. “and you love it.”

“unfortunately, yes,” you admit with a sigh. he smiles wider at that.

a peaceful silence fills the air between you. only the sounds of the ship cutting through the sea fills your ears. turning in his hold until his back presses against your chest, you look back out to the horizon. the pink sky has faded into a muted indigo, the sun barely a semicircle along the horizon. the air has grown colder now, but the warmth that beomgyu exudes wards off the chill that runs deep beneath your skin. your place one hand atop the ones looped around your stomach, the other reaching up to play with the ends of his soft hair.

“where’d you disappear off to today?” beomgyu breaks the quiet first. he feels the way you stiffen within his hold, how your fingers stop toying with his hair, the deep breath you exhale. you can that he immediately regrets asking.

“my mother,” you begin to explain, a bitter, sour note in your voice. “she dragged me from party to party today. they weren’t even parties, really, just excuses to flaunt wealth and peacock about. it was absolutely ridiculous.”

you hear the small giggle he allows at your choice of words, and your lips turn up again. teasing, you say, “i’m glad my misery amuses you.”

“no, never,” he hastily says, oddly serious. your fingers rubbing soothing circles against his scalp is a silent confirmation that you know. a few beats of silence pass once more, your eyes trained on how the sun continues its descent below the horizon.

the ocean's maw has fully consumed the sun when he pulls you back against him, his warm breath caressing the shell of your war and causing you to shiver. the quintessentially impish lilt of his voice returns, a smirk rich on his lips.

“wanna go to a real party?”

and to a real party he takes you. a gathering on a lower deck, the tunes played by the instrument-wielding passengers brash and loud. others sing, some dance, many drink. it's as if you are walking into a brand new world, seeing colors you have never seen before. it is so disorienting yet exhilarating at the same time.

your hand enveloped in his, beomgyu guides you into the sea of noise and moving bodies with confidence towards two men who cheer his name at the sight of him. they each hold a glass of amber ale, eyes glazed over as they spot you behind their friend.

“you finally made it! thought you weren’t comin’,” the slightly taller of the two calls, his words slurred. his fox like eyes meet yours again, and he grins. “you must be the girl he’s been ravin’ about! y/n, right?”

you offer a shy nod and a polite smile, nerves apparent in the way your eyes dart across the room. next to you, beomgyu grows a bit red in the face, but holds you closer to him. how easily he picks up on your emotional state is beyond you, but appreciated.

beomgyu moves to introduce the two men, and you learn the taller one is named yeonjun. the shorter man, his eyes as round as a doe's, is named taehyun. he is far more reserved compared to the other two, but welcoming nonetheless. you converse with them for a considerable amount of time, growing more comfortable the longer you stand with them. none of them seem to care that you come from a wildly opposite walk of life as them; they treat you as a friend all the same.

the conversation soon turns to their history and how exactly they came to know beomgyu. they happened to meet while in paris, yeonjun explains, bonding over their shared heritage and quickly developing a close friendship.

“it’s a miracle we even got on this ship!” yeonjun laughs before he takes another swig of his drink. “gyu won a game of cards back at the port just before she set sail. lucky guy, ain’t he?”

“yeah,” beomgyu responds before you are able to utter a word, looking down at you with fondness coloring his gaze. “i really am.”

the two men soon depart on a search for more alcohol, leaving you and beomgyu alone. he does not take long in snatching your hand to drag you towards the makeshift dance floor.

“beomgyu, wait, i can’t—”

“c’mon!” he exclaims. “dance with me!”

he pulls you close to him as soon as you reach the space. chest to chest, hand in hand. your eyes widen, frantic.

with haste, your voice strained in order to be heard over the music, you say, “beomgyu i don’t, i don’t know this dance, i can’t do this!”

“sure you can!” he jovially yells. “just follow my lead!”

the music surges around your bodies as you begin to skip about the room. with beomgyu guiding you along to the fast-paced tempo, your apprehension melts away. you do not have to be in control, you can simply feel and allow yourself to flow along with him. you squeal as your unsuitably formal dress flutters around your legs and your heeled shoes click against the floor rhythmically. both of you laugh unabashedly, growing drunk on the excitement of it all. your heart beats erratically against your ribcage, your cheeks beginning to hurt from how wide you beam.

you feel more alive in this moment than you have in your entire life.

he spins you around and around until you grow dizzy. then, you are off once again, eventually joining a line of people holding hands and snaking about the room. you skip along with one hand held by a woman who speaks to you in rapid french and the other still taken by beomgyu, who attempts to translate her words, albeit poorly.

out of breath, you squeeze his hand, and he takes your hint; you break away from the line. others easily fill the void that you leave.

you stumble, giggling, and beomgyu catches you. harebrained and giddy and every cell of your body positively surging with joy, you are unable to even think your actions through before you are cupping his face in your hands and crashing your lips against his.

whoops and hollers sound around you, but the sole thing that permeates your senses is beomgyu's soft lips melding with your own. the grip of his hands upon your waist fortifies, but only enough to hold you to ensure your unchanging propinquity. hurried, ravenous, you devour each other in the middle of the crowd until you grow desperate for oxygen. pulling away, you draw a breath deep into your lungs, mouth agape just as the full force of what you did crashes into you, a strike of lightning straight to your chest.

and rather than fret, your lips split and their corners rise, and you laugh. you laugh and laugh and laugh until you collapse against beomgyu's chest. he gathers you up to his chest before you crash to the floor, holding you by your cheeks while he comprehends your wild eyes and glowing mien.

“are you alright?” he queries.

i think i may be in love with you, is what you wish could say, but you bite the words back before they escape.

instead, you ask, “come with me, please?”

he nods and allows you to pull him towards the stairs that you first entered from. mistakenly, you briefly meet eyes with yeonjun, who stands across the room with a suggestive smirk, eyebrows wiggling in your direction. though your cheeks grow warm, you continue to push forward, weaving your fingers through those of the man following close behind.

the trek to your private chambers takes far longer than expected. both of you are guilty of pulling each other into dark corners and giggling into each other's mouths at nearly every turn. the situation becomes dire once you reach the upper decks, dodging acquaintances of your mother through roundabout hallways. after what seems like hours, you reach the door of your room, swiftly unlocking it and pulling beomgyu inside.

without delay, he presses you up against the door, forearms caging you in, and crashes his lips to yours once more. gone is the nonsensical laughter and teasing touches — now all that remains is a carnal hunger, a bone-deep desperation to feel and to devour one another whole. his sly tongue sneaks into your mouth, dancing with your own before it retracts and his teeth graze your lower lip. you exhale a breathy whine, hands pawing at the rough linen of his shirt.

he pulls away to momentarily catch his breath before he blazes forward to kiss you once more. your finger pressed to his lips, however, halts his movements. questions dance in his pupils.

“take me to bed,” you whisper.

biting your lip, you watch as the gears within his brain churn as he processes your words, how his eyes grow impossibly darker once he does. the short journey to your bed is a blur in your mind. hands tug at clothes and undergarments until you lay bare beneath his own naked torso, his trousers low on his waist, though unable to hide the aching erection that strains the fabric.

he reaches up to tweak your nipple, causing you to inhale sharply. he finds great delight in how sensitive you are, his lips ravaging your neck until he locates the weak spot just beneath your ear. he bites down lightly. a shock of bliss jolts down your spine, and you squeal his name — god, how he would give away what little money he has to his name to hear that sound every day.

the combination of his lips gliding down your neck and his thumb circling your nipple renders you speechless, merely able to moan and grip the soft sheets below you as he brings you pleasure that you have never felt before. though his calloused hands against your skin feel much rougher than those of the men that your mother forces you to mingle with, he treats you gentler than any of your desperate suitors ever could. almost as if your body is made of glass, he does not press hard enough to inflict pain, nor does he force you to your knees to take him. no man you have lied with before has treated you in such a manner, putting your needs before his own. your heart pounds at the realization. you pray that he cannot hear it.

deprived of warning, his lips and fingers disappear from your skin. you whine at the sudden confiscation of pleasure.

“why did you stop?” you pant, breathless, trying to reach up to touch him. he captures your hands and links his fingers between your own. he presses your arms back against the sheet before he lets go.

he stares down at you for a moment, eyes trailing from your heaving chest to the swollen pout upon your lips. with a ghost of a smirk, he leans down to press a chaste peck to the corner of your mouth, his forehead now pressed against yours. eyes hooded, he breathes, “patience, beautiful. i’m gonna make you feel good, i promise.”

“hurry, then,” you plead. you feel as if you are going insane without his touch. addictive, akin to opium; you want more, you crave it.

“ah, so demanding,” he jokes, though he gives in. he allows you no time to respond as he kisses you again, leaning over you with forearm pressed into the mattress next to your head. a hand slides down your side — drawing goosebumps to your skin — to your thigh, spreading you wider for him. you inhale sharply through your nose when you feel fingers press against your soaking center, one slim, rough-skinned finger sliding slowly past your entrance. the groan he emits rumbles against your own chest. he raises his head no more than a millimeter, shuddering at the wet heat that coats his skin as he begins to thrust the digit in and out.

“fuck, you’re so tight,” he curses, unable to help himself. clinging to him, you bite your lip at his ministrations, nearly drawing blood when he slips a second finger in, stretching your walls. his thumb finds the aching bud just above to ease the sting.

“g-gyu,” you whimper, the sound singing in his ears like wind chimes, urging him to move faster, curl his fingers against the spongy patch inside you, watching how your face contorts beneath him. he fixates on the spot. your hips involuntarily buck up into his thrusts in response, the cord within your stomach tightening. your gaze meets his, desperate, pleading. “gyu, i need, ‘m going to—”

“let go, beautiful,” he groans, grinding his cock into the crease of your thigh for relief. “you can do it, c’mon. let go for me.”

his deep-voiced encouragement sends you over the edge, warmth flooding your veins as your thighs quake around him, nails digging into his tanned skin. your eyes screw shut.

“that’s it,” he coos as you float back down to earth. he rubs soothing circles against the skin of your cheek. “my lovely girl.”

“want you, gyu,” you beg, stomach warm from the praise. “want you inside.”

he freezes, eyes wide. “are...are you sure?”

“i’ve never been more sure in my life,” you say. thus, his grin returns. he moves to unbutton his trousers, and you help him, grazing the hard imprint in his underwear. he hisses at the sensation, then stands from the bed to remove his remaining clothing. your mouth dries at the sight, and you gulp. he is quite well-endowed, his cock standing tall against his soft abdomen, the tip an angry crimson, the color fading as your eyes travel down the shaft. you squirm at the thought of it being inside you, stretching your walls beyond belief, pressing into every spot within you with every roll of his hips.

he settles between your thighs once again, guiding his cock against your wet folds. your poorly-veiled apprehension is not lost on him.

“i’ll go slow,” he promises, guiding the head of his cock to your awaiting entrance. “don’t wanna hurt you...you ready?”

with a deep breath, you hum in confirmation. he murmurs out a quiet “okay,” directed more towards himself than you, and shifts his hips forward. the first press brings with it a small ache. you wince, and he slows, inquiring if you are okay.

you nod. “go slow, please.”

“of course, love,” he whispers, distracting your mind from the pain with his lips. inch by inch, he sinks deeper into your walls, soon bottoming out deep inside of you with a strained moan. he stills to allow you to adjust. as soon as you do, you’re urging him to move. he obeys, thrusts slow-paced and tender until you beg for him to quicken them.

“yeah?” he coos. “y’want more? you, fuck — you have all of me already, s-so greedy.”

the roll of his hips sharpens, canting upward — faster, harder, deeper. all you can think to do is moan, the thoughts ricocheting in your mind now too jumbled for you to decipher and voice. a fire has ignited in your stomach, growing hotter and brighter when swings your legs over his shoulders. the angle of his thrusts causes the head of his cock to brush against a spot deep inside you, a place that has never been explored prior. a sound that is foreign to your ears tears itself from your chest, loud and unabashed.

above you, beomgyu groans. his head is thrown back, mouth agape, his hair a tousled mess atop his head. a few strands stick to his sweat-drenched forehead. a flush has traveled down and stained his chest, his abdomen flexing in exertion as he loses himself completely. his head drops down again, his eyes meeting yours, half-lidded and brimming with heady lust. you attempt to hide your face in the sheets, growing shy at the intensity of it all, but he reaches down to grip your chin, holding your gaze steady.

“watch me,” he orders. in a daze, you obey, glassy eyes barely able to comprehend the bombardment to your senses. his free hand locates your slick clit, rubbing quick circles, breath shaky as your walls flutter and tighten around him. “so good. so good for me, beautiful. no one can make you feel as good as i do, hm?”

“o-only you!” you manage to agree through your cries. he slips his thumb past your lips, and you immediately begin to suck on the digit.

“so pretty, such a good girl,” he mumbles out, half delirious. “will never get enough of you.”

your high slams into you in a flash, your entire body quivering around him. beomgyu rapidly pulls out, ropes of his release spilling across your abdomen as he jerks himself, gasping at how your empty hole flutters around nothing. your legs drop from his shoulders, as weak as a newborn fawn's. he collapses next to you, mopping up his release with the handkerchief sitting upon your nightstand, before he pulls you to his chest, holding you like you are about to disappear into the air. he cups your cheek gently, kissing you slowly, savoring every second. when you pull away, there lies an urgency in his expression.

“run away with me,” he whispers, searching your face for something, anything. “once this ship docks in new york, run away with me.”

your chest tightens. he feels the same — oh, he feels the same. you battle back the tears beginning to form on your waterline and hold him close, reaching up to envelop the hands on your cheeks with your own and kissing him breathless.

your forehead presses to his as you respond, a watery smile painting your lips, “where would we go?”

“anywhere you’d like,” he breathes. tears form in his own eyes — hope, unbridled joy. “just say the word.”

your blooming love is not star-crossed, but auspicious, you realize while standing on the deck of the carpathia.

you had been separated from beomgyu in the sinking of the titanic that night, in the frantic crowds shoving towards the life boats and the gunshots ringing out to maintain a semblance of order. your mother had found and pushed you onto one, lowered into the sea before you were able to leap out, to search for him. you sobbed into your palms the entire night, unknowing whether he survived the sinking or not.

but now, he is across the deck before you, alive. his clothes and hair are drenched in seawater, a blanket wrapped around his shoulders — but he's alive, so very alive. he has not spotted you, his eyes pointed out to the sea where the so-called "unsinkable" ship met its watery grave. your hands begin to shake. warm, breathing, alive.

you croak out his name, tearing away from your mother in order to sprint over to him, ignoring the weakness of your limbs and the frantic protests from your mother behind you. your calls of his name amplify in volume. he spins around, and his face melts into disbelief. he races across the remaining distance between you, feet thumping against the wooden deck. arms wrap around you as the two of you meet — two souls colliding, winding and weaving around each other like threads on a loom. tears are not lost upon either of you, streaming down both of your faces as you hold each other, skin against skin as you ensure this is not a dream, or mirage.

“i love you,” you sob. “i can’t, i didn’t know if—”

he shushes you, tucking your face into his chest. “i know, love. i know. i love you, too. we’re here now, we’re together. alive.”

you choke back a whimper, crying until you can no longer. as you shift back to look at him, you find that he's smiling. a thought hits you suddenly.

“where is yeonjun? taehyun?” you ask. he squeezes you once, pointing somewhere across the deck. following his finger, you find them: beaten down, weary, but breathing. you have never been a particularly religious person, but you think that something must be watching from above, providing you such unfair luck. they wave. you wave right back.

“we floated on top of furniture until a rescue boat found us,” he explains. “we were lucky. i was half dead when we were found.”

the thought punctures your chest, but he doesn’t let your thoughts run astray for long. “it’s okay, love. you couldn’t have done anything.”

“i know, but—”

“but nothing.” a gentle smile plays on his lips. “we’re here now, aren’t we?”

“yes,” you say, your expression reflecting his. “shall we still plan to flee?”

he grins something tired yet enthusiastic. “of course, beautiful. there's no one else i'd like to see the world with more than you.”

3k event masterlist | masterlist

#txt smut #beomgyu smut #txt x reader #beomgyu x reader #txt imagines #beomgyu imagines #txt fluff #beomgyu fluff #beomgyu drabbles #txt drabbles #beomgyu scenarios #txt fanfic #3k milestone celebration #agust.nsfw #💌 — gyu

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cloudyyoimiya · 1 year

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hi there, hope you’re doing well! i just read your scenario with yandere ranpo and a darling in danger and i am OBSESSED!! 💜 the dynamic is so freaking good, my favorite bit is when darling asks about the candy being drugged, i feel like it did so much to build up their past relationship and pique my interest. the way that ranpo’s darling was so resigned to their fate was heartbreaking but so well written, i love how much it implies about darling’s experience in captivity while also leaving so much up to the imagination. i have to say i was so thoroughly intrigued by the open ending! the idea that ranpo’s darling defeatedly agrees to go back to their prison, but also clearly still hates it and has simply lost all hope of ever escaping, and is now beginning to give in for the sake of making their miserable life easier..it has infected my brain man (/pos)!! so i saw that your requests were open in your bio and i was like i simply have to ask: would you be willing to write a continuation to that scenario that shows what it is like when ranpo brings his darling back to his home (prison)?

i’ve also written fanfic in the past, so i totally understand if it’s a situation where you had the inspo for the blurb but not really any ideas for past that! so, no pressure to write, but if you would possibly like a further prompt, the idea that i was picturing is a depressing fic where darling is giving in more and more to ranpo because they’re too tired of all of the punishments and they just want their life in captivity to be easier since they know they can’t ever escape him..but if you do decide to write, feel free to write whatever you feel like! Thank you, have a great night! 💜

AUGH thank you for your kind words, anon! they truly mean a lot! i showed this to my friend bc it made me so happy, i hope you don’t mind!! i was having a bad day when i first read your kind words so it cheered me up a lot LMDBF. anyways, here you go! i had fun writing and thinking about what would happen

Coming Back Home; Ranpo Edogawa

Format: Headcanons and scenario

Possible warnings: Yandere content, dark themes, discussion of kidnapping, manipulation, mentions of injuries

Disclaimer: This is a continuation of Ranpos part of this fic! I recommend you read it first!

When you were cleared to finally go home by Yosano, you felt as if you wanted to die. You’d be dragged back to your eternal prison by some man-child that claimed to love you like no other.

You knew what he was capable of, and he’d constantly remind you of it. He’d always tell you that he could frame you for the murder of people you hold dear. He’d make sure that you’d go to prison. The only way for him to prove your innocence and get you out of prison was to stay by his side. Though, all of this is a what if…

He’d make sure that you were his, even if it meant tampering with your criminal record.

Escaping while walking back was out of the question because of this.

When the both of you go returned ‘home’, you were more submissive than usual. You didn’t like it one bit, but it was your only choice at this point. You knew that he’d become more protective over this incident. He doesn’t want you to get kidnapped again…

If you even tried to defy him then things would turn out for the worst.

It was terrible.

If you started to comply more, then maybe he wouldn’t keep you in that one single room anymore. Maybe he’d be slightly kinder…

Don’t get me wrong, he was really “nice” to you even before you got kidnapped by that gang. He made sure that all your needs were met, it’s just the mental blockage of him forcibly taking you from your home that stopped you from returning his “kindness.”

Scenario…

The walk “home” was filled with a deafening silence. You could barely think straight as you walked throughout Yokohama. Your mind kept scattering to when you were first kidnapped by that gang—how they beaten and bruised you. Your body still ached from the beatings despite Yosano using “Thou Shalt Not Die” on you. It hurt to walk. It hurt to breathe. It was suffocating. You hated it.

Ranpo opened the front door to your shared “home” and motioned for you to enter. You reluctantly did so, not wanting to somehow manage to anger him by your hesitance.

You sat down on the nearest couch and stared at your lap. Your pants had several cuts in them, so it was clear that you would need new ones sooner or later. It was unfortunate because they were your favorite pair too! They provided you comfort when you so desperately needed it.

“Are you alright?” Ranpo asked as he sat next to you. “You seem sad.”

You bit your tongue, not wanting to say something that you would regret. “I’m fine, Ranpo.”

Ranpo took out a lollipop from his pocket and unwrapped it. He then plopped it in his mouth and hummed in approval. It was his favorite flavor.

“You don’t seem fine,” he said, the lollipop still in his mouth. “Talk to me.”

“Ranpo I told you I’m fine,” you said back.

You didn’t want him to see your weakness, but you already knew that he saw through you. He was the greatest detective out there, and that’s what scared you. He knew everything about you just by one glance. It made chills slowly creep up your spine, making the hairs on the back of your neck stand up.

“Someone is lying to me!~” He spoke rather childishly. “(Name), I told you how I feel about liars.”

You tensed up at his words. When he first took you in captive he told you that he’d punish you if you ever lied to him. At first you didn’t believe him at all, but you ended up finding out the hard way that he was indeed speaking the truth. You still remember the day where he refused to feed you because you lied about something that was happening at work. You felt nauseous from the lack of food in your stomach at the time

“Fine. I’m just shaken up is all, alright? Nothing bad.”

Ranpo squinted at you for one moment, trying to see if what you said was the truth. He then nodded to himself then went to hug you.

“Oh my (Name), you’re gonna be okay! Well, you’ll be okay as long as you love me! You do love me, right?”

“I do love you,” you said. You knew that you didn’t mean your words—you never have. You only said it to appease your captor.

Ranpo hugged you tighter. He knew that you didn’t mean your words one bit, but he still accepted them. He knew that one day you’d eventually come around to his affections. That day may not come any time soon, but he’s willing to wait. He’s willing to wait only for you.

You slowly hugged him back, not wanting him to give you any lip about not returning the sign of love. In a gross way it felt strangely comforting, but yet at the same time it felt suffocating. It almost made your skin crawl.

“That’s so good to hear!” He said happily. “Anyways, what do you want for dinner, hm? I’ll order something! You deserve to be pampered after almost dying!”

“Uhm… How about your favorite? I want you to be happy,” you lied through your teeth.

You had to be considerate of his feelings. Otherwise he’d punish you.

“That sounds good,” he hummed.

Ranpo pulled out his phone and he started to order the food. Eventually he looked up at you and gave you a lazy kind smile.

“Go change your clothes.”

You nodded as you stood up. You then went into your bedroom and picked out Ranpos’ favorite outfit of yours. You stripped down and put on the outfit, then walked back out of the room. The outfit wasn’t sexual at all, but it still made you feel uncomfortable.

You sat down next to him and he leaned his head on your shoulder. “The food should be here soon, darling.”

“Alright.”

He wrapped his arms around you delicately. You’ve been so good ever since you returned home with him, and he knew that you were sore, so he decided not to put more stress on your body.

“I love you so much. Promise not to leave me, alright?”

#yandere #yandere bungou stray dogs #yandere bsd #yandere ranpo #ranpo edogawa #edogawa ranpo #ranpo x reader #bsd #bungou stray dogs #bungo stray dogs #bsd headcanons #bsd season 4 #bsd s4 #bsd x gender neutral reader #bsd x reader #bungo stray dogs ranpo #ranpo bsd #ranpo edogawa x reader

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kess-in-the-perthchimzone · 8 months

Text

Sailom and the equal footing in Kang’s vulnerability

In a second installment of having a lot of feelings about Sailom, I want to talk about how Kang’s willingness to be vulnerable with him puts Sailom in a position where he feels he has something meaningful to offer in their burgeoning relationship.

Sailom is a very transactional person - (see his refusal to take Kang's grandmother's money if he doesn't tutor Kang). You can see this back to episode one — Auto and his mom know they can get him to agree to extra food by empathizing that he does something for Auto in return (also tutoring).

We’ve also seen that he’s not willing to be made to be made to feel lesser because of his circumstances. He works multiple part time jobs, carefully keeping a budget, always focused on the future. Whenever Kang tried to bully him, Sailom looked him dead in the eye as if daring him to do worse and then found a way to one up him. He refused to lie solely to keep his scholarship.

But the two of them were poised to enter their friendship / eventual romantic relationship on wildly unequal footing. The events of episode two forced Sailom into the role of the victim. The attack of those men left him helpless, cowering on the ground and ended in him crying in Kang’s arms.

And that was before he started to appreciate exactly how well off Kang is — he’s now seen how big Kang’s house is, how comfortably he can spend thousands of baht on food, the kinds of gifts Kang gets for his birthday. On paper, Kang has it all: he’s wealthy, good looking, popular, and lives with family who look after him.

But episode 3 flips their dynamic in a really important way.

First, Sailom starts genuinely helping Kang by tutoring him. He witnesses first hand the difference his teachings can make. However this is still a business transaction — this is something he receives money for.

Then, at the night market, Kang starts to opens up to him emotionally. He bares something about himself that it’s clear he’s never expressed out loud before. He put himself in a position where HE’S the one who is vulnerable. At this point, Sailom is no longer the only one who’s shown a weak spot.

Only thanks to Kang’s earlier confession does Sailom understand exactly how gutting this gift of a motorcycle is for Kang. He’s suddenly able to see past the fancy presents and veneer of a loving family — two things that might have further divided them. And this touches me so much — he emphasizes deeply. Sailom is not saying “oh, poor rich boy who doesn’t have real problems”. He looks genuinely heartbroken for Kang.

This all culminates in the pool scene, where (from Sailom’s perspective) they become true equals.

They wrestle, and Sailom wins by stopping Kang from throwing the key. However cliche pool scenes are in BL, the symbolism of water is powerful — they both get completely soaked, showing that this is the point where the events of the past are wiped clean. This is when they truly start over.

When Kang finally lets the full, raw force of his grief show through, Sailom realizes he has something important he can provide that has nothing to do with money or status — his belief in Kang. Because he does believe in Kang -- Kang has already surprised him four times that we've seen: coming to tutoring to begin with, solving the math equation, in his written english, and at the bar.

It is Sailom’s idea for Kang to look to him as a source of inspiration. And he’s instantly validated. After, Kang looks at him like he’s this most important person in the entire world.

Sailom’s transactional personality really shows here because he confirms this new understanding — he asks Kang a second time.

Not until Kang agrees - via the most pathetic sad wet boy nod I’ve ever seen on my TV - does Sailom hug him, sealing their deal.

We’ve talked a lot as a fandom about Kang’s side of this — how important it is for him to finally have someone give him a purpose and take him off the dark path he was headed down. I’ve even seen some talk of how that’s manipulative; or how Kang is taking advantage of Sailom.

But Sailom is never willingly the passive victim. He recognized he had something tangible to give Kang; something that has nothing to do with money, and he asked for Kang to take it. Because in his mind, it allows him to spend time with Kang on on equal footing. And since Sailom is enjoying their time together — that's what he wants.

#dangerous romance #dangerous romance the series #kanghansailom #kanghan krittin #kanghan krittin sukprasert #sailom homchan #meta meta meta #sailom meta series #kess babbles about dangerous romance

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infizero-draws · 9 months

Note

girl what do you feel about kris' and noelle's relationship in snowgrave i want to know

OK OK. first of all thank you for specifying "in snowgrave" because if you just said their relationship in general i would literally never stop talking.

second tho, im really bad at putting how i feel about character dynamics into words because often there's just soooooo much to be said and different ways of looking at it and i get overwhelmed if i try to make some all-encompassing analysis. so let it be known that whatever i say here is not the full picture and there's so much more i could say.

putting this under the cut because i already know im gonna talk for way too long:

that being said oughghghhgh. where to fucking begin. i'd say the most fascinating (and disturbing) thing about their relationship in snowgrave is the weird romantic undertones. the fact that you have to pressure noelle into the idea of riding the ferris wheel with KRIS instead of with susie, her actual crush.

one of the most overt symbols of this weirdness is definitely the thorn ring. i know it isnt the only ring you give to noelle to equip, but this is the one that's mandatory for the snowgrave route. in order to do the route, you have to make KRIS give NOELLE a RING. a ring that literally HURTS HER TO WEAR. if that isnt a metaphor for a forced relationship i dont know what is

however perhaps the most damning and obvious one is of course this option:

i would say something about this myself but @/sorrybutiforgothowtomakecontent's tags on another one of my posts really summed it up:

im also aromantic so this really resonated with me. but yeah just going back to the first point they make. you literally HAVE to say "we're something else" in order to do the snowgrave route, which seems to make it pretty clear that this kinda subtext was intended. snowgrave can only exist with kris and noelle being "something else" because that's literally what snowgrave IS.

my favorite way to view snowgrave is through the lens of an arranged/forced marriage. again, the ring. it just feels so gross, especially because it's not just a regular marriage but an abusive marriage. snowgrave is abuser simulator (2021). im sure i dont need to explain that part

but the thing is, SNOWGRAVE IS NOT JUST ABOUT NOELLE and that's what makes it SO BAD. not only is noelle being forced to go through all of this, but KRIS is being forced to be the one who does it to her! kris clearly is EXTREMELY upset about snowgrave judging from the constant opportunities to choose more "normal" dialogue and abort the route, and from afterwards when they meet back up with ralsei and susie:

kris, under no circumstances, wants to do ANY of this. but they literally do not have a choice. snowgrave isnt kris manipulating noelle, it is US forcing kris into manipulating noelle. no one is winning here. they're both traumatized, and kris physically cannot even talk to their friends about it or show the true extent of their hurt. it SUCKSSSSS

and when you consider the idea that kris and noelle's friendship may have become strained specifically due to dess' disappearance, and kris possibly having something to do with that with the bunker and whatnot..... well now you're just forcing kris to hurt their friend AGAIN, when in the normal route this could've been their chance to finally reconnect. ahghrhgrhghh

going back to the marriage stuff, it's just so uncomfortable to see these two forced together like this. noelle is in love with susie. we dont know kris well enough to know if they have a crush on anyone (or if they get those kinds of feelings at all), but that doesn't matter. the fact is these two are likely not romantically interested in each other at all, and they are being forced together BY THE PLAYER. and it's horrific. (and even if one or both of them felt that way, this is still entirely wrong. they do not get a choice here)

@/hellspawnmotel's tags on this comic of hers will always haunt me, bcuz like. yeah. this is it:

there's also the fact that kris is naturally kind of a goofball; they're a prankster, especially it seems when it comes to noelle, as can be seen with the stepping off the button thing or the many, many examples from their shared childhood brought up by noelle.

but in the snowgrave route, kris drops this entirely. all of the alternate dialogue options to abort the route, which are very likely FROM kris, are very genuine and apologetic. kris is scared they're going to lose their friendship with noelle completely because of what you're making them do, and it's like they panic and all of their usual goofiness and sass is just dropped for genuine emotion. it's really sad to see honestly, esp in a full snowgrave route where you know that their efforts will be in vain.

OH OH ALSO. can't believe i haven't mentioned this yet. the fact that NOELLE KNOWS SOMETHING IS GOING ON WITH KRIS. THAT'S one of the things that really makes me insane.

noelle goes through ALL THAT, seemingly AT THE HANDS OF HER FRIEND....... and yet. she knows that something is wrong. she KNOWS kris, and she knows that they don't act like this. you'd think she would instantly cast kris off, it would be the right thing to do, but she doesn't. because she knows that something is off.

i cannot stress enough the fact that noelle is the ONLY one who seems to have noticed just how strange kris has been acting. sure other characters comment on kris seeming off or doing something they usually wouldn't do, but it is NOELLE and NOELLE ALONE who takes such notice of it and decides to actually DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT.

"i have to figure it out" is a mission statement, it implies that noelle (at least in the snowgrave route), is going to actively try to figure out what's going on with kris, WHICH IS CRAZYY and i feel like not enough people are talking about. not even kris's own mother has fully realized something's wrong. like she says, noelle seems to be the only one who's noticed just how off kris has been acting, and the only one who might try to understand and help them. genuinely makes me insane thinking of where that might go in this route oaugurhghh

im gonna stop here because im exhausting myself but. in conclusion I LOVE CHILDHOOD FRIENDS GONE WRONG!!!!!!!!! FAVORITE TROPE EVER!!!!!!!!!!!! anyways read this comic (all 3 parts) and you'll get it

oh also "kris, why are you wearing my watch?" still makes me go fucking insane

#i genuinely could talk about these two forever. favorite dynamic in deltarune hands down #they're my favorite characters individually so the way that snowgrave intertwines their stories #noelle's strength and kris's possession #into this horrible thing of being forced to force someone else to kill and make them think THAT'S what true strength is. augurgrghhrgh #they genuinely make me insane. i need to see more of them NOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW #not art #asks

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farawaysoph-ie · 11 days

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The Sunshine Court Incoherent Whatever (pt.1)

Okay. Okay.

I just finished The Sunshine Court and 1) Jean Moreau what have you done to me? 2) Jean Moreau what have(n't) they done to you?

I started this, then went and re-read tkm (bc the obsession was always latent and never gone), so I could compare both Neil and Jean pov and well, suffice to say I'm not okay and I feel too much.

Thank you Nora Sakavic, it was painful and amazing.

I have a long train ride so I might as well bring back my incoherent whatever after *checks the notes* 4 years :')

As always this will be so full of spoilers.

(Unrelated spoiler: the train ride wasn't enough)

Let's start with the general:

After loving Neil maybe too much the shift to Jean took awhile to adjust to but now I'm ready to fight at least three mafia families, every single hater (fictional or otherwise) and the FBI for him

Jeremy Knox was everything, but like everyone on here, what are you hiding Jeremy?? What's going on??

Cat and Laila, my beloved ™️ the care these two effortlessly gave made me cry

This whole book was a serious trigger for me, but I'm in too deep with this series, imagine me like that Simpsons meme, I did it for my new french son

Characters, thoughts:

I said before the Ravens were a cult, but I hadn't really understood that statement. Every time Jean spoke of them it hit deeper and deeper how messed up and unfair it all was.

Boy am I happy that Riko is dead, like I didn't really wish anyone the fate of being shot by an unfeeling older brother, until Jean's pov hit me like a high speed train.

Andrew spoke exactly one word in this, still was iconic and a scene stealer, how in character for him

I forgot how much I always want to slap Kevin Day when he's trying his best to be annoying, it's because I love him, I swear! (But seriously his relationship with Jean is so complex and well executed I will think about it for a very long while)

I didn't give much thought to Renee and Jean relationship in tkm, but it broke my heart here, it's when I started to actually tear up, I love them so much rainbows, a cool evening breeze. I can't.

"Tell me something"

"Where are you now?"

The whole dynamic of the Cat&Laila& sometimesJeremy's apartment

Cat teaching Jean how to cook + motorbike ride (open roads)

Laila taking him to shopping

Jeremy wanting to make Jean Moreau the Person his success story

Neil dragging Jean towards survival without giving him a choice, again and again: he sent Renee as gentle bait, closed a deal in his name with a mafia boss, promised him he would win against Riko in his name too, promised him again Riko was dead, ordered a hit on his rapist, offered to delay the talk with the FBI, linked his sister to his name, to survival and to what he deserved. I NEED more interactions between them, I am not above begging.

I have to get a better idea on the other Trojans, but for now the policule was cute, I need more Cody and less Lucas. Like I can understand where he was coming from? But he needs to shut up now, you made your mess man, now go play Exy like you were supposed to.

I miss the Foxes :'(

Wymack! I almost forgot everyone's favourite dad-coach: he showed up, brought alcohol, got more tired, delivered care to yet another traumatized child, spent a whole day on airplanes to bring him to Los Angeles, left him money for clothes&co. bc he's not doing this again, answered his call when he was having The Breakdown. Best dad-coach ever in the history of dad-coaches.

Plot things:

Jean at the beginning was so scared and in so much pain it took a while to get a clear picture of him as a person

Still loved all his salty comments and insults, he couldn't help himself

Renee sitting with him and caring with Abby and Wymack :')

Jean being afraid of going back and of not going back to Evermore, hating the ones that got to leave

The self harm and all the people in this that fought him to keep his hands from his neck, his scars, himself

"I am Jean Moreau. My place is at Evermore. I will endure."

Jean not believing in Wymack care, waiting for the act to end and the other shoe to drop

The disbelief at Kevin being away from the court and him admitting he went at knifepoint (and meaning it literally), sometimes this was a comedy

Wymack, Jean, and the burning of houses

Jean's opinion of the Foxes going from those mediocre fools to those mediocre madmen to the madmen that actually beat Riko Moriyama

Wymack putting Jean's phone in the freezer and hating computers

“That man is years overdue for a high-speed, head-on collision.” couldn't have said it better, but Neil was already on it at that point

"Jean knew better than to look for anger in his stare; the best Kevin could manage was bottomless guilt."

“It was my only chance,” Kevin said. “I knew you wouldn’t come with me.” “My place is at Evermore,” Jean agreed, “but you did not have to slit my throat on the way out.”

“Your blind loyalty to those clowns is exhausting.” “Some of them you like,” Kevin reminded him. “Don’t you dare,”

Nathaniel "Hello Jean" Wesninski vs Jean "Go away" Moreau

This whole conversation went very differently compared to tkm: like there Neil came, dropped a metaphorical bomb, glossed over the explanation and went away trying to convince Andrew they are something

Jean was ambushed by two of his most complicated acquaintances (???) and their "pet goalkeeper" (god I need Andrew's reaction to this "nickname", but I guess no one will ever say this to his face, Neil would be too busy fighting you at the suggestion to ever repeat it), had his worldwiew turned upside down with no chance of having a say in the matter, then was left alone with Kevin Day and the aftermath.

So yes two different conversation; also I kinda forgot of the deal about Neil and his smile

“Everyone who has tried to tame him has failed.”

All for the game: a summary

There was no getting away; there was only getting through.

Jean Moreau who (hasn't) hurt you, part some of too many

What really makes it messed up is that on one hand there was Riko and his mad cruelty and on the other there was an entire team of bystanders At Best: some people were an active part and then pretended, no sympathy for them; others decided to ignore the truth to survive and get what they wanted, which I can understand but I guess they still didn't have the decency to shut up when Jean got away. The anger that crawled through my skin when the smear campaign and the notebook/postcards/magnets thing happened. You should have stayed silent until the end you fucks.

“Do it, then. It wouldn’t take much; we all know I have brittle bones.”

Jeremy pov kinda gave you whiplash, with him waking up super early, helping homeless men, but then you start noticing all the things he avoids almost effortlessly and like, what are you hiding sunshine man??

What actually broke me about his povs was him noticing all these details about Jean, and then misinterpreting them, bc whatever he's been through Jean has had it 100 times worse and this doesn't even factor in Jeremy world. I'm pretty sure he'll get the whole truth in the end and I'm scared of what it'll do to him.

Also Jean being like Ravens always had to keep secrets and then spilling most of them almost unprompted, let's laugh in order not to cry

“He hasn’t played a clean game in years,” Kevin admitted, “but he knows how to follow orders. If you tell him to submit, he will.” “Literally the most awkward way you could’ve worded it,” Jeremy said.

This will keep coming back, Kevin please. (He 100% ships it, one of us)

The Foxes catching the too tired Trojans and Jeremy being like, you are all approved (I need the two teams to interact now)

Also the Trojans being like how are they still standing, Neil how are you still running??

Someone pointed out they wanted Neil to interact with Jeans closest teammates bc if he is a madman by Jean standards, what would normal people make of him? To which yes, but also guys consider this: Neil said to Cat and Laila that they were terrifying after the semifinal, he took a step back when Jeremy opened the door and silently invited him in. I need Neil and the floozies to interact so Neil can experience real fear.

Mafia bosses have nothing on wholesome people, the true weakness of one Neil Josten

Jean immediately hanging up on Jeremy will never not be funny

When you get to the title of the book and it's Jean insulting people <3

I will Never, NEVER, get over the "nineteen". Never.

I love Abby but when she told that bit about fighting back, It Hurt. She probably didn't really mean it and didn't know everything bc how are you supposed to keep fighting when you are fifteen, alone and forsaken in a place that is built to break you? As it has been pointed out, Neil had rebellion beaten into him by a mother that chose him and ran; Jean had a sister that he hoped to protect and parents that sold him away like property. Five months were actually a long time.

Dobson keeps being iconic, I don't know what to think about the I don't know how exy works bit: I mean I've been obsessing with this and still don't know how exy works (plz don't hate me), but at the same time it was such a power move and got Jean to talk

“Of course it’d be you, you tedious malcontent.” “Good morning to you, too.” Nathaniel held up an oversized bandage.

You see why I need more of their interactions, right?

Nathaniel was different; he always would be. He wasn’t a Raven, but he was, same as Jean. He was Jean’s misplaced forever partner, an unfulfilled promise Jean had stopped believing in years ago.

You can now be forever partners while you tear down your families :)

I think that I'm stuck on the two of them bc while Kevin broke a promise to save himself (to which no hate, when dealing with madmen like Riko you have to save yourself) and still couldn't, not completely, Neil was a promise made and broken by other people. Jean hates him bc they were supposed to share a destiny and all the misery, but I think very deep down he knows that if Nathaniel had come to the Nest they would still be nursing wounds and appeasing a tyrant. Neil is the one that stood against Riko when Kevin wanted to hide, the one that gave him courage by example, the one that dragged Jean away from the Ravens, both for selfish reasons (taking down Riko) and better ones (paying him back for saving his life a the Nest).

But still

“You are only here now because you are an abominable cockroach,”

Funny how Neil forgot to tell us about the breakdown about Kevin's tattoo, he was probably thinking about the match. Junkie.

The cheese drawer guys, ???

To this day I still can't decide what was more iconic: Kevin Day switching playing hand halfway through the game and pretty much scoring everything until the last second, Neil being so fast that it made up for him being a shitty defender, Andrew crossing the court to keep Neil from being murdered (I'm biased, but still iconic moments all of them)

Experiencing this match from Jean's pov was amazing writing, like the countdown of the last ten seconds, the Riko-Neil bit without volume but from a different angle (I didn't really realize everyone was able to see the King attempting murder live on TV, but hey perspective)

Run, Jean thought. He didn't know if he was thinking it at Andrew or Nathaniel. Run.

"That wasn't a miracle," Jean typed out. "That was the Foxes."

:')

When Jean found about Riko though :'(

The shudder that wracked his chest should have been revulsion, but it fell dangerously short. This didn't feel like joy or relief; it only felt like loss. [...] Who was he without them?"

I loved that he woke up to Renee and Neil though, the rainbow and the witness

Renee always hitting the point, this wonderful girl

"Maybe you're mourning the wreckage he made of your life. You're allowed to grieve what he took from you."

"It's impressive, isn't it? How easily these monsters die in the end."

Neil Abram Josten said I'm done letting monsters ruin my life and my people, he actually promised.

When he called him Neil guys, tears

Also I found peculiar that when thinking about the room he destroyed Jean calls it "Neil's dorm room", not Kevin's who he's known for actually longer. It's what makes me think that they have a chance at not being misplaced forever anymore.

Renee either hits you with hidden wisdom of the universe or with practical and brutal advice, and we love her for that

The two of them, the Two Of THEEEEEEEEM

Jean noticed how Andrew and Neil moved like they were caught in each other's gravity, in each other's space more than they were out of it, cigarette smoke and matching armbands and lingering looks when one fell out of orbit for too long.

Just leaving this here.

The airport bit :'(

"Men like Wymack didn't exist. They couldn't; they shouldn't."

Enter Jeremy Knox and his yo-yo in the middle of said airport. Flawless.

This man was put on Earth to test Jean, at least that's what he will keep thinking from here on

The rest of this book is Jean having conversations with people and not understanding them, bc he's been living for five (seven) years in a cult. It is an escalation pretty painful to watch, I think the Trojans are all of us :'(

Question: will Jean end up teaching Jeremy French? Will Jeremy learn by himself? I think I'd probably prefer the latter

Cat, the mess, the music, the tour, I love her so much

Jeremy "he's a little off" Knox, he was trying

Barkbark von Barkenstein

Jean Moreau and the real world (bubble tea? you have to shop for stuff? you sign things yourself? you leave campus? someone help this disoriented french bean)

"Something had gone horribly wrong at Evermore"

oh Jeremy

Watching Jeremy regret almost all his questions :'(

“Three fractured ribs. Sprained LCL. Twisted ankle. Broken nose. That’s most of it.” That’s most of it.

Laila, who pushed and got angry for Jean and didn't back down despite him lashing out, my beloved

You look like a Ken doll." + "This isn't blond."

"Not Grayson.[...] Please." that one made me sick, the writing made me feel even only a part of what Jean was feeling and it was enough to feel sick

The water :'(

Jean just leaving when confronted with Laila and Jeremy in swimsuits was very bi of him

Lucas coming in looking like a well know nightmare and the Ravens dropping like flies

I didn't ask.

It's not like I didn't know, right? But I still died inside

Zane and the betrayal

Jeremy didn’t let him get away with it. “That’s not the issue and you know it. I don’t want to crowd you.” “You are not them,” Jean said. “Kevin would not have sent me here if you were.”

Jean taking one look at the doctor sent by the coaches and going nope, Dobson will be definitely better

Jeremy seeing the nightmares and the scars and not being able to do much:(

A hand on his chin startled him into looking up. When he met Jean’s eyes, Jean only said, “Focus on what’s important.” “I am,” Jeremy said. Jean opened his mouth, closed it again, and let go of Jeremy without a word. Jeremy snagged his arm when he started to turn away. “Who did this to you?”

I'm sorry did he just

“It’s not about size, anyway.” “Defensive,” Jean said, tugging his glove straps with his teeth. Jeremy straightened in indignation. “I don’t have anything to be defensive about.” Jean lost his grip and bit his lip, and Jeremy hurried on before either of them could think too much about that double entendre.

“Say ‘yes, Jeremy’.” He had the distinct impression Jean wanted to roll his eyes. “Yes, Jeremy.” Jeremy forgot everything else he could have said in favor of staring. It was the first time he’d heard Jean say his name.

Are you seeing this? Yes? Good, let's go on

“If I ever make you uncomfortable or make you feel unsafe, will you promise to tell me? If you don’t trust me enough to tell me what’s wrong and why, at least trust me enough to tell me that something is wrong. I can’t fix things if I don’t know there’s a problem. As your captain and your partner, don’t I at least deserve the chance to not be a villain in your story?”

The pool bit :'( and after when they tell there are no pools at Evermore. Riko is so lucky to already be dead :)

You’re forcing us to hurt you without giving us any say in the matter.”

Watching Jean trying to navigate his interactions with the Trojans was painful, frustrating but also hopeful. This boy has been hurt so much and so often, he doesn't get what normal looks like anymore. But the Trojans don't let him get away with it (even if it breaks their heart and the coaches will probably get a lot of grey hair from this)

"Your safety and happiness will always be more important than our season.” “You are naïve.” “Maybe you’ll define success by how we do this season, but I’m not obligated to do the same. You are going to be my success story: Jean Moreau the person, not Jean Moreau of the perfect Court. You take care of one, and I’ll take care of the other.” “That is not how it works.” “Is there a rule against it?” “There is no merit to it. This is all I am.” Jeremy ignored that and asked again, “Is there a rule against it?”

Jeremy gay panicking and the photo of Renee

The floozy line!

Every time Jeremy goes "our coaches" or "our teammates" all I can think in my head is "someone will die" "of fun!!!!"

Jean wondering if the Trojans have something against recruiting tall players xD

“Thank you for worrying about them. You’re a good man, Jean Moreau.” “A ridiculous sentiment,” he said. “I mean it,”

This man didn't even second guess himself, he had to ask because he knew and it didn't even occur to him to be silent. Excuse me sir? Shut up you are a good man

“I assumed the Trojans were idiots,” Jean said. “Now I think you are all insane.” “It’s a step up,” Cody said. “I’ll take it.”

The practices, the scars pt2

“It is all I am, Coach.”

“We did not want outsiders at Evermore.” “Except Neil,” Cat said. “Neil was a special case,” Jean allowed.

#accurate

You’re hurting me.” “It has been toward for five years,” Jean said, looking past Jeremy at the scrimmage that was still going on without them. “It is not that easy to undo.” Jeremy frowned at him and echoed, “Five? You were only with the Ravens for three.” “I moved into Evermore two years before I enrolled,” Jean said, and hauled Jeremy to one side. The stray ball that had been coming for them ricocheted off his chest instead of Jeremy’s back, and Jean scooped it up on the rebound with a quick snap of his wrist. He hurled it across the court toward Cody one-handed before finally letting go of Jeremy. “I will try harder.”

The notebooks breakdown hurt so bad bc Cat and Laila being angry for him (they are all of us), Jeremy trying to mediate bc he's been there, he pushed and Jean broke and he doesn't want to hurt him, and Jean who confesses his secrets without meaning to, just to realize and panic. What a recipe for a disaster.

“How dare they blame you for anything after what they did to you. How dare you grieve them.” It hit like a sucker punch, but Jean’s frustrated rejoinder was worse: “They don’t know.”

They don't know, but they could guess. They could smell the blood. They joked about his brittle bones. He was sixteen. I'm not sorry for the mercy I don't have after finishing this book

Jeremy could only watch in wretched silence as Jean tried to walk himself back from the edge. He cast his phone aside in favor of catching Jean’s face in his hands, and the way Jean flinched at his touch was almost his undoing. “Hey,” he said quietly. “Hey. Jean. Look at me.” Jean refused, and Jeremy grasped desperately for anything that could bring Jean back to him. He seized on the only thing he could and threw Jean’s words back at him: “You are Jean Moreau. Your place is here with me, with us. I’m your captain. You’re my partner. We’re supposed to be doing this together, aren’t we? Stop leaving me behind. Look at me.” It wouldn’t work, but it did. Jean opened his eyes to meet Jeremy’s stare. “I told you not to ask me about him.”

I had seen the quote before reading but no one told me what followed ç.ç

He felt a tremor in Jean’s hands, and for a blinding moment he was sure Jean would lean into the safety of this silent confession. But Jean only sucked in a slow breath and said, “Now I am not safe with you, captain.” Letting go of Jean was the hardest thing Jeremy had ever done. Everything in him railed against this, and for a moment he regretted giving Jean a way out.

I was not crying, I swear.

“I’m sorry,” Jeremy said, because he didn’t have the strength for small talk or a softer approach right now. “Did Riko break your hand?”

That was one heavy conversation and it's just the start (Jeremy is Not Fine™️)

He is not used to having a voice, and he has never had power. I cannot promise he will ever talk to you.” “I will wait as long as it takes,” Jeremy said.

Still best boy

And maybe in many ways he still was, but a martyr could still be a monster when the cameras weren’t rolling.

Boy do I have news for you (do you think Jeremy will know that Riko didn't kill himself? Does it matter? I think not knowing this particular detail would be fine, I still don't really know how much this sunshine boy can take (more than I expected but still))

Did I mention that I really love the apartment trio? Cat and Laila agreeing to silence but still being angry (drag them girls, draaaaag them), the dinner and movie and Jean not getting up to leave

Did I mention Lucas is free to shut up and play? :) Because I get that you are angry, but 1) it's not your decision to make, we don't need your conspiracy theories 2) it's not Jean problem, he has enough of them leave him alone

“Ask him why he’s so sure the rumors are true. Ask him what his part in it was. If you’re going to believe him just because he’s blood, then at least make him tell you the truth.” “What’s that supposed to mean?” Lucas demanded.

And Jean still deciding not to lie, he may be an asshole but almost everyone he has known didn't deserve him

Also I don't know where Lucas got the audacity? You think there is something the justifies breaking a player's ribs?? What is wrong with you, you are part of the sunshine court

The dread when asking if Grayson was home

The bike ride :')

Now that they were settled, he expected an interrogation or a reason for this unscheduled trip out. When she failed to explain herself, Jean finally asked, “Why are we here?” “I love it here,” [...] “I don’t know. I just felt like some fresh air would do you good. There’s nothing like a ride to get you out of your head and into the moment, you know?” Jean considered that for a minute. “Thank you.”

Jean waited until he was out of earshot. “I don’t understand.” “Trust us,” Jeremy said tiredly. “Neither do we.”

Jean vs the Trojans, a summary

The monster shows up and it was a mess and Jean has never had a break, literally never

Which was extremely literal bc Lucas wanted to talk and then Neil shows up

I need a separate post for the last pages bc I started this 24 h ago and I want to do it justice. So part 2 coming.

Edit: I misspelled Jean's surname *facepalms and goes to hide*

#tsc #the sunshine court #i didn't know how much i would end up caring about this french boy #new son acquired #tsc spoilers #the sunshine court spoilers #spoilers #aftg #incoherent whatever

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shannaraisles · 2 months

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Still Yours - for @50sjello

For @50sjello, who has been incredibly patient - this has been sitting in my finished folder for almost a month, due to various of my own issues, but finally, here it is! Thank you so much, lovely!

Still Yours

The mood in the camp was ... awkward this morning, to say the least. It isn’t every night you wake up flooded with physical ecstasy, only to discover it isn’t actually yours, and you’re feeling it secondhand from the nominal leader of your group as they couple with a mindflayer in their shared dreamscape. Sylvana was fairly sure none of the party was ever going to look at them the same way again.

“Well, that was quite the wet dream we all shared last night, wasn’t it?” Astarion declared in a surprisingly innocent display of avuncular good humour. “I do hope it doesn’t become a regular thing. I prefer my intimacies ... intimate.”

The look that flickered in the direction of a certain purple tent spoke volumes of both judgement and unexpected concern, underscored by the faintest hint of a smirking smile as Karlach took up the theme.

“Gods, I never want to look at another octopus ever again,” she said, shuddering as her flames intensified for a moment. “That was ... no. Nope, I am not thinking about it.”

“It was a very stimulating evening,” Shadowheart interjected, straightening from her morning stretch. “Who would have thought the Emperor would have such creativity when it came to such an unconventional coupling?”

Face flaming red, Sylvana focused on fastening their bedroll, trying to ignore the spirited debate now being undertaken by three members of their party, all of whom were dying in equally creative ways in the secret, hidden pathways of their mind. A prickle of fur brushed their calf, drawing their attention to the sharp eyes of a tressym standing entirely too close for comfort. Nothing can judge you for decisions made in the heat of the moment quite like a feline with a bone to pick.

“Good night, was it?” Tara asked, and Sylvana only just suppressed the flinch at the ice in the tressym’s tone.

The young rogue steeled themselves, setting down the bedroll to turn and face the closest thing to a mother Gale of Waterdeep had handy. Tara’s yellow eyes were hard in the morning stillness, more than a little resentment stirring within the magical feline for the harm done to her young Mr Dekarios in the night. Sylvana swallowed, taking a moment to clear their thoughts and their throat before addressing the acid remark.

“I know I have made a terrible mistake,” they informed Tara. “I know it’s worse because everyone is aware of it. But the shockwaves of that mistake are between myself and Gale, and while I appreciate that you love him and want only to protect him, he is a grown man and we should be able to discuss this like adults, without others inserting themselves into our dynamic.”

The tressym considered them for an excruciating moment, that sharpness in that gaze almost enough to draw blood. Then she ruffled her feathers, her tail rippling from straight to just slightly curved.

“Then I suggest you begin this adult discussion of yours,” she said primly. “Mr Dekarios is a great man, but when it comes to matters of the heart, he is a teenaged nightmare with all the social skills of an erotically charged goblin. Good luck to you.”

Even as Sylvana raised their brows at this rather brutal description of the man they loved, the two of them heard a choked objection abruptly cut off from within the tent. Ah. Well, that made sense of Tara’s comment on his emotional maturity in this matter. Apparently hiding in his tent and listening to everyone else was Gale’s idea of dealing with this. Sylvana could not entirely blame him. He must have decided he was being set aside yet again by the beloved of his heart, something he had still not truly come to terms with when it came to Mystra.

With Tara flicking her tail and heading toward the campfire to ply her wiles on Wyll for breakfast, Sylvana straightened their shoulders and ducked through the thick purple fabric. Their eyes found Gale near instantly, stumbling back from the curtain they had just stepped through as though he had not expected them to make their entrance so soon after speaking with Tara. His eyes were red, betraying tears he would no doubt be horrified to know were so easily discerned in his weary face; his gaze pinned to Sylvana’s face with wide-eyed trepidation.

Yet before Sylvana could so much as open their mouth, he held up a hand to still any words that might be said.

“If this is to be the end of us, then land the blade sharply, I beg you,” he said, each word ringing with a certainty that could only have come from practice since he had woken. “No excuses, no softening of the blow. Tell me, once and for all, if this truly is the end of the love I have come to trust so wholly since we met.”

Sylvana narrowed their eyes slightly at these last words, not particularly liking the attempt at emotional manipulation but understanding that, as Tara said, he was emotionally an angsty teenager still.

“It’s the last thing I want, Gale,” they said, voice trembling just a little now they were faced with the consequences of their curious interlude the night before. “But if we are to continue, we need to talk about what happened last night.”

“You chose to betray my trust with a mindflayer,” he snapped. “In a way that broadcast my humiliation to the entire camp, to these people who have become our - my - friends. People who know my history have seen me cast aside a second time, for what? For sport?” His gaze hardened as he stared at her, brows furrowing in pain. “Tell me it meant nothing.”

“I can’t do that.”

The answer was honest. And in all honesty, they could not blame him for the faint cry of misery that left his lips, the way his knees seemed to buckle and toss him down upon the makeshift bed he had not yet packed away. Sylvana forced themselves to step closer, to crouch, to kneel at his side, not daring to offer a touch in consolation. They only had words, but it was a language that this man certainly understood.

“Let me tell you why,” they said, each word soft but firm in the pain-filled silence of the tent. “And when I am done, if you still wish nothing more to do with me, then I will accept that. I have wronged you, but not with malicious intent.”

Knees drawn to his chest, hands clasped and twisting anxiously together, Gale drew in a staggered breath, seeming to force away fresh tears as he nodded. Whatever else happened now, he needed to know. Taking the invitation, Sylvana twisted themselves to sit beside him on the padded bedroll, staring at the star-filled constellation of Mystra they had never once asked him to remove from his sleeping place.

“I don’t know everything about you,” they began, careful to keep their tone light, conversational. No blame or implication of guilt; nothing to provoke an emotional reaction from him. “I don’t know every fleeting thought that pulses through your mind; every impulse you restrain, every judgement you make on those we pass by or interact with. I only see what you choose to show me, and I love every part of that man, even the parts you are perhaps ashamed of.”

They felt him shudder beside them, felt the unspoken acknowledgement that no mortal truly knew another in the way they were describing. Felt the realisation of where this was going even before they continued to explain.

“The Emperor knows everything about me,” they told him. “All of it. Not just what I choose to show, but everything I intentionally hide. Every unkind thought, every urge toward pain and destruction, everything that I know would sour the affection of the people I love toward me ... it knows all of it. Can you truly blame me for doing as I did, at a moment when I felt seen in a way no one has ever seen me before? For just those few moments, I could finally understand why you remain so devoted, so loyal, so tender toward Mystra. She knows you, the way he knows me. And yes, perhaps I wanted to even the score in that regard. Perhaps I knew it would hurt you, the way it hurts me each time you say her name with such fondness. The way it hurts to have to see her celestial face each time I come to you in privacy. But am I so unforgivable?”

There was a long silence, still wracked with pain but now peppered with understanding, the words he loved and needed so much guiding him down the path to truly understanding the why of what had gone before.

“It felt ... clinical, to me,” he said finally, his tone calm, almost detached. “I could feel your curiosity, your physical pleasure. Where was your heart, Sylvana?”

“In your hands. Always.”

They felt him suck in a breath, a sudden change in the turmoil radiating from him softening to their words as this commitment was made. A moment later, his fingers found theirs, hesitant but warm, daring to cross the divide between them.

“Had it been me in your place,” he said, each word tremulous but firm, “I do not think I could have gone through with it. Not that the temptation would not have been great, but ... I have been set aside by those I adore too often to willingly do it to another. To you.”

For the first time since waking, Sylvana felt the shard of pain they had been holding at bay slice deep. They knew this, of course they did. Some things could not be retracted or forgotten. But perhaps they could be forgiven?

Gale’s fingers tightened about theirs, drawing their palm to rest over his heart.

“My heart is yours,” he said, whispering painfully into the stillness. “Still yours. Always yours.”

Sylvana tilted their head toward him, finally finding his eyes on them with the by now familiar adoration back where it had always been. An adoration that was now just a touch guarded, but still there.

“Can we come back from this?” they asked, eyes burning with the urge for tears they did not feel they had earned the right to shed. “Can you forgive me my weakness?”

His brow pressed to theirs, and they shuddered together, each one fighting back those tears, knowing that such a display here and now would do neither of them any good. Hands gripped hands, breath mingled in staggering gusts, both wizard and rogue breathing together to eradicate the harsh reality of their painful morning.

“If you can forgive me for mine,” Gale said finally, lifting his eyes to theirs. “I have held onto the memory of her affection when I should have given you all of my focus. I swear this to you, my beloved heart, I will let her go. And when the time comes that the Emperor has no further need of us, I will stand by your side as you let him go.”

The relief was palpable - audible, even, as they heard Astarion suddenly declare that the fun he had been expecting wasn’t even going to start now. Sylvana let out a rueful laugh, joined by a wry chuckle from Gale as they wrapped themselves in each other’s arms, squeezing close to chase away the last of the uncertainty the morning had wrought.

“As long as you are mine, I could face anything at your side,” Gale murmured, at last pressing a tender kiss to his lips.

“I’m yours,” was their answer, heartfelt and unshakeable. “I’m still yours.”

#50sjello #fanfiction #niamh does commissions #baldurs gate 3 #bg3 #gale dekarios #oc - sylvana #gale x sylvana #angst #hurt/comfort #sfw #emotions #tara the tressym #astarion #karlach #shadowheart #group dynamics #the morning after the night before

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andydrysdalerogers · 4 months

Text

Yours Submissively ~ Incinta

Steve Rogers X OFC Isabella Davis

Summary: Five Years after the events of Civil War, Steve Rogers has moved on from avenging and has started his own business, Grant Inc. He has a secret that would turn his world upside down. And he's good at keep that secret. Until he meets the woman with violet eyes that could bring him to his knees. Now his mission is to make her, his. But she is the key that could bring the world into balance... or chaos.

And she has no idea.

Series Warnings: slow burn at the beginning, smut, angst, sexual themes of BDSM, dom/sub dynamics, kidnapping, loss of virginity, (and a bunch of others that will come up)

A/N: the taglist is open! And I AM SO SORRY! Merry Christmas! 🎄

Dividers by @firefly-graphics

Banners by me!

I do NOT give permission for my work to be translated or reposted on here or any other site, even if you give me credit. DO NOT REPOST MY FICS. Reblogs, comments, likes, and feedback ALWAYS appreciated

Previous: Sanctuary

Series Masterlist ~ Main Masterlist

“Belle?! Isabella?!” Steve was yelling in the phone, frantic. He heard movement.

A second man picked up the phone. “You want her, Captain? Come get her.”

Steve stared at the phone. His head snapped up. He touched his comms. “Sam?”

“I’m landing.” There was a muffle. “We need EMTs on the corner of State and Henry. I have a total of four down, three DOA.”

Steve blanched. “Bucky?”

“Alive. Two shots, one critical. EMTs are here and taking him to Brooklyn General.”

“Who are the others?”

Steve could tell Sam was hesitating. “One of them is Disktant. Shot in the neck. He bled out. The others I don’t know. I’m connecting to the security systems around here to see what happened.”

“Sam, they were after Belle.”

“How…”

“She called for me to find her, but she was taken. Clint and I are headed to her last known location. Just get the intel and well reconvene. Sam,” he sighed, “get Bucky back to the tower.”

“On it, Cap.”

Steve turned to the remaining team. “Stark, you and Nat start working with Friday to see who and where. Wanda, Vision, I need you back ASAP. Clint, you, Peter and I need to get to Brooklyn. We need to find her and fast.”

“Alright, you heard Cap,” Tony said. He walked by Steve and clapped his shoulder. “We’ll find her.”

Clint drove Steve and Peter to the diner, see the police cars surrounding it. Steve approached the officer in charge. “Captain, I’m Lieutenant Provenza, officer in charge.”

“What happened?”

“A young lady entered the diner and sat at the back. No clean look at her on security. She made a call and the waitress said she look distressed. Two men entered through the back. Video of them is clear but we have no hits on identity. They approached the girl, grabbing the phone, speaking to someone as they took the girl to the back. They dropped her phone and glasses.” He waived a tech forward and he brought out the evidence bags. “They got into a van, no plates.”

“Lieutenant, the girl taken is my wife, Isabella Rogers. We need an APB for her right away along with the description of the van. It was me she was talking to on the phone.”

“Right away Captain. Any reason she was out her all alone?”

“We had a disagreement. Sargent Barnes had accompanied her, but he was shot a few blocks away.”

“Understood. We’ll put out an emergency APB on her right away.” The lieutenant walked away to speak to the officers when Steve’s phone rang. “Sam?”

“Bucky’s wounds are serious but non-life threatening. He’ll be awake in a couple of hours. I have his phone.”

“Can you check to see how he found Belle?”

“I’m checking. The last notifications are text between him and Paul about a car and a doorbell video.”

“Doorbell video?”

“Yeah, hang on.” He could hear Sam fiddle with the phone. “Shit, Cap, he found where Belle had gone.”

“Where?”

“Lila.”

Steve motioned for Clint and Peter. “I’m headed there now. Thanks Sam. Keep me updated for when he wakes.”

“You got it.”

Steve hung up and called Tony. “Tony, check surveillance around Lila’s apartment. I’m headed there now.”

“Why would she go to Lila?”

“It makes sense. I didn’t even think to ask her since they had the falling out. Maybe she will know why Bucky and Belle were in Brooklyn.” Steve hung up and stared out the window. His biggest fear, Belle being taken was now coming to fruition. He just had to be honest and none of this would have happened. He glanced down at his wedding band, pulled it off and looked at the inscription.

AAAO, KOMH B&S

He gave a sad smile. And all at once, you are the one I have been waiting for, King of My Heart, Body and Soul. She had it inscribed as a surprise that she told him about in London. And while he was the king of her heart, she was queen of his.

Belle woke up with a sore head. She tried to rub her head, but her arms didn’t move. She tugged and felt pain in her wrists. She blinked her eyes open to harsh light. “Finally, the princess is awake,” she heard. Belle tried to look around but couldn’t see anything past the blinding light.

“Jesus, this girl is dumb.” A shadow came in by the light. “This is the heir to HYDRA?”

“You knocked her out with a tranquilizer. It takes some time to get out of her system.” That voice sounded familiar. The fog from her brain was lifting and Belle was starting to be able to focus.

“Now she’s coming around.”

Belle blinked several times bringing the face into focus. “Sharon?”

“Hey there princess,” she mocked. “How ya feeling?”

“Like I got taken by a hoe,” Belle replied. She noticed a man standing next to her in a weird green suit. “Who the fuck is that?”

“My name is Quinten Beck.” He walked towards Belle and kneeled in front of her. She stared at the man in front of her. Brown hair, blue eyes, he looked kind, but malice was hidden in them. He reached up to tuck a stand of hair behind her ear. “You have beautiful eyes Isabella. It’s a wonder that no one else notice the similarities.”

Belle couldn’t help herself. “Similarities?”

“Yes, to our founder. Schmidt. See, your mother’s side came from a long list of HYDRA supporters, but no one figured out that Schmidt had a son who had a daughter. Your mother.”

“No, my grandfather is Pierce.”

Beck chuckled. “Yes, he is one of your grandfathers. But you, Mrs. Rogers, are the true heir of HYDRA. You are the most important piece to complete our mission. We have to keep your bloodline going. And it can’t be with that All American asshole.”

Realization dawned on Belle. She began to thrash and scream. “No! I won’t do this!”

“Oh, don’t worry Isabella. I’ll take good care of Steve once you’re gone,” Sharon said with an evil smile.

Steve arrived at Belle’s old apartment and kicked in the door. Lila fell as she was stuffing items into her suitcase. Peter fired his webs to pin her to the wall. “Miss Stevens, in a hurry?” Steve growled as he walked into the apartment.

“Steve… Steve I can…”

“You can call me Captain Rogers, Miss Stevens.” He sat in the chair across from Lila. “Where is Belle?”

“I don’t know,” she replied trembling.

“Ok, answer me this. Who took her?” Lila remained silent, tears streaming down her face. “Delilah,” he said with a low voice dripping with fury, “Who. Took. My. Wife?”

Lila sobbed. “She told me that it would be better for all of us if Belle disappeared. Belle ruined my life. My friends abandoned me, my parents were furious at my actions. They loved Belle like a daughter and took her side. I just wanted to be back to where I was.”

Steve tried to remain calm. “I’ll ask one more time. Who took her?”

Lila stared at America’s hero and saw the pain, the anger, fury in his eyes. “Sharon. Sharon Carter paid me to set Belle up. She said if she came to me to find out where she was going. I just made a call.”

“Clint, please take Miss Stevens to the tower.” Clint cut Lila from the webs and escorted her from the apartment. Steve grabbed the phone Lila had next to her, but it was locked. “Shit,” he mumbled.

“Allow me, Cap,” Peter said, pulling off his mask. He started to tap the phone as Steve’s phone rang.

“Sam.”

“It’s me,” Bucky’s voice filled the air and Steve breathed a sigh of relief. “What’s the update?”

“Shouldn’t you be resting?

“I’m a super soldier as well asshole. Tell me.”

“Lila set up Belle. To Sharon.”

“Motherfucker. I knew that bitch was up to something. What’s the plan?”

“Don’t have one yet. We’re still trying to figure out where they took her.” Steve looked at Peter who raised his head.

“I’ve got it Cap. The messages from Sharon confirm what Lila was saying. But they never mention a location.”

“Fuck. Ok so…”

“Wait…” Peter kept reading. “Does anyone know a Dr. Beck?”

The team assembled in the control room with Tony leading a presentation. “Dr. Quinton Beck was an engineer with Stark Industries. He was working on weapons manufacturing before I changed the direction of the company. He was let go. He hasn’t had a presence in a company for the last few years until…” he flipped a screen, “AIM a few years ago. He got in under a false name.”

“Why was he flagged in the first place?” Natasha asked.

“Beck wanted to use technology to fake visuals with a slight mind control initiative weaved into it,” Tony replied sarcastically. “I shut it down and fired his ass.”

“Why would he want to take Belle?” Bucky studied the man’s photo.

“Yeah, that was the question we had,” Banner replied. “I ran her DNA through websites like Genealogy and it was interesting that she had no other family out there. No cousins, nieces, nephews, uncles, aunts, nothing. So, I had a hunch and ran it through old military databases. And got a hit.” A new picture hit the screen. Steve and Bucky looked at each other.

“Johan Schmidt, founder of HYDRA also known as…”

“The Red Skull,” Bucky and Steve answered at the same time. “How?” Steve asked.

“Schmidt is Belle’s great- great grandfather. So, when they say she is the heir to HYDRA it wasn’t because of Pierce. It was because of him.”

Steve stared at the photo of his former nemesis. He never thought that fucker would ever be a problem again, but history taught him otherwise. The tesseract made an appearance although it was safe on Asgard now. But it was amazing to him that Belle was so pure, so loving, so innocent compared to her family. But her mother had ran from her family so the apple did fall far away from the tree.

“Steve? Steve? You with us?” Bucky shook his friend’s arm.

“How would Beck know to reach out to Sharon?” Steve pondered aloud. “I mean, they don’t run in the same circles unless…” he froze.

“Oh shit,” Bucky looked at Steve. “You don’t think…”

“I do.” He turned to his team. “I guess I need to come clean with something first so you guys can understand.”

Belle was moved to a room with a bed and locked in. She looked around and noticed some familiar items. Sharon walked in after a few minutes. “Does it get you all hot and bothered?”

“Is this how you two met?”

Sharon sighed. “After Steve completed his training, I needed to find a more permanent plaything. You see, at the club, all walks of life come in. And here comes this guy who is almost as handsome as Steve who just wants to have a friend and a release. Well, I did what I do best and helped him with that. And as we got to know each other, I realized that he had the technology and the will to get to the top. And if he could get rid of the Avengers and take the only thing, they all care about, they I could have chance to get Steve to finally see me."

“What are you even talking about?”

“I was almost there. I almost had Steve. And then you came along. You seduced him, you entranced him with your fucking eyes. And he was gone. He left me. For you.”

Belle cried. “I didn’t do anything. He wanted me, he pursued me. I fell in love with him after. I even left when I thought he didn’t want me for more. But we were made for each other. Please let me go. Please I’ll talk to him, I’ll tell him whatever you want.”

“I’ll tell him myself when we ‘look’ for you.”

“Please Sharon. You know this is wrong.” Belle pleaded. “I don’t want this. I was made for Steve.”

“You were made to be bred for HYDRA,” Sharon snarled. “Even my great aunt knew that Steve was meant to be for a greater purpose. She almost married him before he put that fucking plane on ice.”

“Your aunt cheated on him before he decided to save the world. I found the notes, her letter to him. He thinks I don’t know but I do! You Carters are just a stain on American history!”

Sharon reached out and slapped Belle, snapping her head back. Sharon got right into Belle’s face. “And you will be known as the whore who married America’s hero and slept with HYDRA’s next great leader. You will be bred; you will give birth and continue the HYDRA line and Steve will never see you again.”

“Wait so Sharon, who helped us out multiple times, is a closeted sex fiend?” Sam looked astonished at his friend. “And you were too?”

“I technically still am. Belle and I have an adventurous bedroom life ok?” Steve was becoming annoyed. “But that’s not the point. The point is, I gave up that life and Sharon has not. She still visits the club we used to go to. Since Belle, I hadn’t been there for a few months. That’s probably when she met Beck.”

“Ok, focus up,” Tony started, “while we are all fascinated at Cap being a dominating bastard, which by the way makes total sense, we need to get back to finding Belle. Now why would Beck and Sharon want to take her besides Sharon being a twisted bitch?”

“Because Beck wants power.” Maria Hill walked into the room. “He was on SHIELD’s radar for his researching while he was still looking for work. We think his goal is to create the next generation of HYDRA royalty.”

“HYDRA royalty?” Bucky looked enraged. “The only way would be if she had children with a true HYDRA supporter.”

“Steve!” Bruce came running in with Helen Cho. “We have a problem.”

“What could possibly bigger than my missing wife?”

“The fact that your wife is pregnant.”

“What?” Steve blanched. “What are you talking about?”

“Belle came to us a day before she ran away complaining that she was feeling under the weather. We checked her out and she seemed fine, so we took blood. The results got lost in her running away but as we checked for any links the reminder hit my email.”

“She’s pregnant? My Belle is having our baby?”

“Oh god.” Natasha covered her mouth. “What will they do when they find out?”

Tony looked at Steve who was still reeling from the news. “Let’s call this bitch and negotiate to get her back.”

“They aren’t just going to give her back,” Bucky argued.

“No, but they may be stupid enough to let us get a ping on their location.”

Steve looked at his team, his face broken. “Do it. I need to get my family back.”

Taglist:

@patzammit

@texmexdarling

@slutforchrisjamalevans

@firephotogrl74

@tinkerbelle67

@before-we-get-started

@bunnyforhim

@alexakeyloveloki

@sunnyhummingbee

@whiskeytangofoxtrot555

@peaceinourtime82

@kmc1989

@lokislady82

@saucy-sassy-sparkly

#andy's hea #andy's shenanigans #yours submissively #chris evans fanfiction #steve rogers au #steve rogers smut #steve rogers fanfiction #Steve Rogers x OFC #Bucky barnes #chris evans #mcu fanfiction #Steve rogers #steve rogers imagine #chris evans au #avengers au #cliffhanger queen

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transhawks · 4 months

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I have to agree. I will argue that cwac is well written but it's essentially just different characters with a bnha coat of paint, it was written so many years ago where it could've technically been a direction taken but canon has deviated so far from it no longer resembles anything close to it. The problem begins when some take it as a canon interpretation when it was not leading to infighting and misreading of canon events and character, although this is no fault of the author who I believe is still very talented.

When I first got into the fandom circa 2018, right before Hawks debuted, I was super obsessed with Deku and so CWAC was up my alley. But the moment I started paying attention to the villains, somehow it clearly dawned on me how not only OOC the story was but just how much the author clearly dislikes characters like Shigaraki or Dabi and how much it shows, fairly juvenile-y.

I won't argue that the author isn't talented, but over the years a friend who was also a very Big Writer at the time of CWAC's popularity 2018-ish has told me how discussions about the League went very badly.

The issue still is the fandom. I absolutely blame DFO on CWAC and the other work of the author that the name escapes me. Even now, when I look at DFO dynamics or the weird afo inko obsession they absolutely clearly have elements from the fic, so essentially what CWAC did was establish such a clear fanon that even non-fic readers have taken it as part of the theory.

I mean, again this is more the issue of the fandom in general just clinging on to very old perceptions of characters and plots. I'm going to rant about that below.

I'll use Tomura as an example because what made me dislike CWAC was the handling of him when I started to realize just how rich Horikoshi made Tomura 's character. Some shig-haters never get passed Kamino in what they think of him, and there are the LOV stans who haven't caught up with the idea that actually the MLA arc was *bad* for the League and are still in the viewpoint that the villains are revolutionaries. So there's these spaces where Shigaraki is just seen as a murderous incel versus Shigaraki is Che Guevara incarnate.

And these echo chambers are so removed from each other that very often little nuance penetrates, so you have incredibly established fanon truths that are rarely deviated from and people just stop examining the source material. Then conflict arises when you leave the echo chamber and talk to someone else.

Also worth mentioning is that the fandom echo chambers manage to function as they do by assigning moral values to any "thought crimes" that don't line up with accepted fanon-"canon". Don't think the League are super-radicals who will actually liberate society and create a Marxist utopia? Well you're a capitalist pig who supports cops, bye. You can see it with the very hardcore hero stans who think liking a villain means condoning murder too, "why do you like terrorists?" Or come into my inbox to tell me Jin's murder was justified. Fandom is very good at policing itself into cliques, to the detriment of everyone, I think.

It also, I think, created the situation where people in this fandom genuinely hate the work, keep reading it in bad faith due to those ingrained fanon expectations and preconceptions of what the work should be, and then get more and more resentful as time goes on and their views are not even acknowledged.

Seriously, just look back at the reaction of hero stan Twitter and reddit bros at Himiko's whole fight with Ochako. There was so much hatred of how Himiko was being redeemed.

There are still canon DFO fans. I feel sorry for those who had to look at this chapter and realize that what they've sunk so much time into was not real. Disappointment hurts, man.

Anyway, thanks for listening to me rant. I find it fascinating in an academic sense how so much of fandom was shaped by a fic and I wonder if at some point someone will examine it critically.

#Bnha salt #bnha critical #Asks #fandom criticism

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anthurak · 1 year

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What a lot of Helluva Boss fans have in common with Blitzo...

Something I’ve realized recently is that there is this great, fascinating irony in this fixation that much of the Helluva Boss fandom has on the idea of some simple ‘wholesome’ family dynamic between Blitzo, Stolas, Loona and Octavia. Where Blitzo and Stolas are in some happy marriage and raising Loona and Octavia and everything is sweet and wholesome.

Because you know who ELSE is super-fixated on finding some idealized ‘wholesome family dynamic’?

Blitzo.

And after watching Seeing Stars, I think we can say pretty definitively that this very fixation is one of the biggest PROBLEMS with Blitzo and one of the main reasons his relationship with Loona is so dysfunctional.

Looking back in hindsight, it’s pretty clear that Bltizo’s decision to adopt a hellhound was driven by his desperate need for emotional connection to someone. Because that’s the crux of Blitzo’s entire character: Thanks to his metric shitton of childhood trauma and baggage, he is absolutely desperate for emotional connection and validation, while simultaneous being absolutely TERRIFIED of any kind of commitment or letting himself be vulnerable. It’s why he burned down his relationship with Verosika, it’s the source of his relationship problems with Stolas, it’s why he’s so obsessed with the M&Ms (because he’s desperate for what they have) and it’s why he’s such a dysfunctional father-figure to Loona.

Because looking at the flashback in Seeing Stars, we can easily infer that Blitzo wasn’t looking to adopt some disaffected, traumatized loner just about to age out of the adoption system like Loona, but rather an actual child. Instead, the entire reason he adopted Loona was because her situation and the words of the overseer positively smashed Blitzo’s sympathetic trauma button and caused him to adopt Loona right there and then. I mean, think of it this way: Adopting Loona was effectively an impulse buy from Blitzo.

Now, this alone isn’t necessarily a sign of bad parenting from Blitzo. The problem is that it’s pretty clear Blitzo never adjusted his expectations of what a daughter like Loona actually needs. Because he seems to have been so fixated on creating some wholesome father-daughter relationship that would solve all his perceived problems, he’s therefore fixated on treating Loona like she’s some troubled child or teenager, rather than a young woman in her early twenties, something Moxie pointed out as early as the pilot. We see this in basically all of Blitzo’s interactions with Loona, particularly in how overly protective, overly affectionate and generally ‘clingy’ Blitzo gets towards Loona.

And combined with how Blitzo’s approach towards fatherhood seems to consist entirely of ‘don’t be like MY dad’, this seeming unwillingness/inability to see Loona as an adult rather than a child looks to be one of the central reasons for Blitzo being such a disaster of a parent and his generally dysfunctional relationship with Loona. Which we in turn see play out across the show and is on full display at the beginning of Seeing Stars:

Blitzo seems to be working from the idea of ‘be everything my dad wasn’t’, so his approach to parenting seems to be little more than ‘shower Loona in praise and affection and give her anything and everything he thinks she wants’. Which happens to be just about the exact OPPOSITE parenting/help someone like Loona actually needs. Because all he’s doing is basically enabling all of Loona’s unhealthy, anti-social, hyper-defensive coping mechanisms for her own trauma.

Like I’ve seen a number of people take issue with how so-called ‘abusive’ Loona is towards Blitzo with how much she physically lashes out at him, such as when she gives him a nutshot at the end of Seeing Stars. But frankly, that behavior should NOT be surprising at all, given what we’ve seen of them: As we see with both Loona and the M&Ms, Blitzo has basically zero respect for or even concept of personal boundaries and has a tendency to get super clingy and overly-affectionate. So is it any wonder that someone like Loona who is extremely defensive both emotionally and physically, after what has clearly been a VERY traumatic childhood would almost reflexively respond the way she does?*

That’s not to say that Loona’s tendency to beat the crap out of Blitzo is a good thing, but rather it’s a symptom of both their dysfunctional relationship and how Blitzo clearly has NO IDEA how to be a functional parent. Blitzo’s overly-affectionate, protective, clingy nature keeps Loona retreating into her shell, and his unwillingness to set any kind of boundaries for her and give her anything she wants simply allows Loona to stay in her hyper-defensive comfort zone.

It’s why despite Loona being 22 years old, she generally acts not much older than Octavia, someone at least 4 years her junior. Because in many respects she’s likely still much the same as she was when Blitzo adopted her. Blitzo’s parenting has enabled all of her pre-existing issues and allowed her to simply stay as she was while growing and maturing very little.**

Which of course is not to say that Blitzo doesn’t love his daughter. Far from it, in fact. As I’ve mentioned elsewhere, the overarching narrative point of the problems both Blitzo and Stolas have with their respective daughters, and which Loona highlighted in Seeing Stars can be summed up as: It is entirely possible for one to both genuinely, unconditionally care for and love their child and want nothing but the best for them, AND be an utter DISASTER of a parent.

Which all ties back to the grand irony I opened with: How much of the fandom is fixated on Blitzo, Stolas, Loona and Octavia being some simple, wholesome, happy family while Blitzo’s obsessive fixation on having that exact sort of family dynamic with Loona is presented as one of his biggest FLAWS as a character.

Just compare Blitzo’s fixation on being a wholesome, doting father to a clearly unreceptive Loona to how much of the fandom seems to view Blitzo and Stolas as already being married and Loona and Octavia as already being sisters.

Or just as Blitzo seems unwilling/unable to view Loona as a young adult rather than a child, look at how much of the fandom seems to want to view Loona and especially Octavia as children being raised by their two dads, rather than the two young adults that the show clearly seems to be treating them as.

I’ve spoken before at length about my issues with the fandom’s fixation on Loona and Octavia having a ‘simple and wholesome family relationship’, both with each other and their fathers. And this might be the biggest reason I simply DON’T see the show going in this direction that a lot of the fandom is thinking/hoping it will.

Because it runs counter to what is looking to be a major aspect of Blitzo’s character arc as both a father and a person in general: Learning to stop chasing the nebulous, vaguely defined idealized relationships he’s been so obsessively fixated on, and realizing that he CAN have the close, happy, validating personal connections he’s so desperate for if he simply opens up emotionally to the people around him and recognize how much they DO actually care about him. Like how Moxie may not appreciate his clingy attempts at being a family, but clearly would be happy to have Blitzo as a close friend. Or how Loona isn’t and was never the young, innocent child Blitzo wanted her to be, but she still appreciates him as a father who has helped her.

As I detailed in another post; Helluva Boss seems to be a story all about showing characters in messy, dysfunctional, dare I say… problematic relationships, yet also showing those characters that do genuinely care about each other can still work through and overcome their problems to find genuine happiness and fulfillment with each other. Not in some idealized ‘perfect’ sense, but one that works nonetheless.

*Which becomes rather tragically ironic when we see that Loona does recognize and appreciate the fact that Blitzo cares about her. And even recognizes how dysfunctional their relationship is, given her ‘this kind of shit gets messy’ and ‘everybody’s got issues’ lines. But while Loona might recognize this, Blitzo clearly does NOT. And given how neither of the two are any good at meaningful communication, it gives the sense that Loona’s lashing out at Blitzo is in part kind of the only way she has to enforce personal boundaries around him.

**This actually makes it all the more ironic that when Loona and Octavia actually meet, Octavia’s mere presence seems to immediately encourage Loona to start acting more mature and insightful than we��ve ever seen her. Which in turn is why I think it’s pretty clear that a friendship between these two is so significant: Loona and Octavia each represent something the other desperately needs in her life, and a clear contrast from their complicated, dysfunctional relationships with their respective fathers.

#helluva boss #helluva boss analysis #helluva boss theory #character analysis #fandom analysis #blitzo #loona #something of a followup to my first HB analysis post

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