What are your favorite tumblr blogs?

Oooooohhhh an opportunity to make an appreciation post! (Btw the order doesn't mean anything so know if you are the last on the list doesn't mean I love you any less!)

PS: Had to make this two parts because apperantly tumblr only allows 4096 words...

Part I (here) | Part II

@antvnger: I know Ant Mun for a while now. Met them sometime at the start of this year I guess and even if we haven't interacted much lately and stuff I'm still going through his page almost everyday to see what he has been up to. The mun is one of the sweetest persons I ever met and is so amazing in potraying Scott (who I just live as much as I love Ant Mun).

@spideymn: Probably the one I know the longest here on tumblr. I met her somewhen at the end of last year and we wrote together like every day before I went on a longer tumblr break. I was so sad and heartbroken when I couldn't find her on tumblr anymore not knowing that we have been writing together the whole time not knowing that it was us. Guess the moment we realized it, was one of my absolut favorite moments here on tumblr. She's such a sweet and honest person and she was one of the first who let me feel comfortable for being myself and to reach out to her for whatever reason. And tbh she's also one of the persons why I decided to come back here in the first place.

@silently-judgingyou: Another one I know longer here. While the two of us haven't talked as much as I did with Spidey Mun I still enjoyed our conversation and our rps. They're always so wholesome and I love to see the interactions between MJ and Morgan and how both of them started to build a sisterly bond. I also love the thread we started with Katya and MJ. We haven't done much yet but it's so funny to see the two girls who don't want to talk to anyone and want to be left alone get to know eachother. The mun is also such a sweet and nice person and I'm so happy to have her around.

@remarkableheroes: My dear and beloved Bucky! The moment I saw your OC Anya I instantly fell in love and thought OMG! Wanna write with them! You have no idea how scared I was to reach out and how happy I was when you said yes. And now look at us! We just talked about making our Ocs officialy to eachothers stories, something I thought I would never do again until I met you. In all these years you have been the first Oc mun where I felt comfortable to try it again. I love everything about you and Anya but also your other muses. You are such a sweet and amazing person and I'm so happy that I found you and got to know you.

@skallagrimulfhedinn/@michaelandadam: Another person I knew from my first try here on tumblr and who I love so much. The mun has such amazing characters and I love writing with them so much. I love Skallagrim and Ash and tbh when the Mun told me about the SPN rp blog I made a little scream. SPN has been one of my favorite fandoms I was ever part of and I literaly cried during the last episode. I was really suprised and happy to see how SPN is kinda making a return. and this Mun plays Adam so well and I can't wait to see how they will play Michael at one point.

@azuresrp: Guess what? Yep this beautiful person here was also one of my old friends who I found here on tumblr before my break… Or more like who found me. They're so sweet and amazing and have such a great character. I love Ryan, I love his story and I love the mun and our interactions. Most of all I love our ooc talk and plotting. It's just so much fun to talk with them about our characters or about whatever else we are talking about. And it's so funny everytime we haven't spoken for a while both of us can be sure the next message will start with a "Sorry it took so long… life happened."

@kyber-infinitygems/@neonsoundbite: Amazing person, amazing Mun, amazing Ocs, amazing Story! Just AMAZING! I love Luc and I love Brenna! They're also one of my favorite Ocs I saw here on tumblr. I love talking ooc with the mun which we have done the most and I love it so much that she shares the same love for Bruce than I do. I literaly know not a single person who has Bruce as one of their favorites and I was so happy when I saw her love for Bruce! And I also love the fact that she shipped her Oc not with a major character like Steve, Tony or Thor like everyone else always does… No she chose Kurt Goreshter. Such an amazing character who honestly doesn't get enough love and attention. Like he's actually so funny but always gets overlooked and forgotten! But not by her which I think is so cool and awesome. And omg her drawings and edits! They're so amazing!

Moonlight and latte for Anakin, or any f/o you want!

eeeyayayya thank you! i'll combine this with my answer for @flyboywife

teacup: do you make things for your f/o often? do you make them a favorite drink, dessert, etc.?

my s/i has... absolutely nothing to make anything with, but she does want to. in spirit. before she met anakin, she hated doing anything for anyone. she had to look after herself, and became fiercely independent. and no one had ever looked out for her, so why would she do it for others?

but anakin changed her mind. he's the only exception. she feels that he's the only one who truly deserves her kindness and service. all this to say, she's very bad at it at first and feels like she messes up at every possible opportunity. xD he still finds it sweet that she tries, since he knows how she was before and still is with other people.

cozy: tell me about the day you moved in with your f/o.

omg don't make me think about living on coruscant i'll cry...

but...

my knowledge of the outer rim and (far inner rim because i keep forgetting the very silly and nonsensical fact that jakku, where my s/i lives, is in the INNER RIM despite my initial impression. i hate the GFFA KSJJDD) proves pretty useful to the jedi, and it's mainly how i got to spend so much time with anakin in the first place.

idk if they even want me there permanently. i still have a lot of unsavory behaviors to kick. so i'm not sure if i really moved in, i just... visit :3 and secretly spend the night but no big deal :3

i haven't fully decided on this part and i've been with him for almost 5 years aaaaaaah

moonlight: what are your nighttime rituals like? which side of the bed does your f/o sleep on? what time do you usually head to bed? do you even share a bed?

canonically i think he takes the right side, so i'd take the left. honestly? my s/i is just happy to be in a bed, since what she has at "home" is not too comfortable -- so she isn't picky about it at all. when we do sleep together, it's really nice... my s/i hasn't even been that close to anyone before (unless it was in battle 😭). she still has a hard time realizing that he isn't going to hurt her...

also, no ritual or routine for my s/i. she usually just flops right down and is out pretty quickly. unless there's something on her mind. she spends a lot of time protecting her space from thieves and other assorted ruffians before she heads to bed that she's exhausted by the time that's done.

the first couple of nights we spend together, it's completely effortless 🥺 she feels so protected. (AGHNHH i'm going to start biting)

latte: what is your home décor like? what does yours and your f/o’s place actually look like?

they don't really have the chance to move into their own place together, hehe. so this is pretty moot, but my s/i brings a couple of important things with her (tbh it can all fit in her pocket; she has no attachment to what little she does own). she pretends that she isn't superstitious, but she does have a good luck charm; i can't decide on what it is, but it seems like something that would apply to her. she partakes in quite a bit of denial

soft self ship asks

Sliding into your ask again. I KNEW CHRIS WAS DEMI!!! I swear because you're demi Wereroomies are just... *sighs, can't choose the right words* one of THE series for me.

So-so-so-so could you please tell me about Chris' journey as demi? How he figured out, his past relationships etc. Anything you'd like to share 😉

If Pretty's gonna be demi too, I'm gonna scream!!!

P.S. I haven't seen your beautiful cat for a long time, how's kitty doing?)

HAVE A NICE WEEKEND!! it's been a rough week for me

If

aww, i'm really flattered🥺 idk it makes me really happy to see so much acceptance towards the ace spectrum in general hahah and to enjoy the series because of it???? warms my heart.

it's been a rough week for me, too, and somehow tonight just got even worse dsfhsjdkhf but i'll live. i hope you get some time to rest and recharge, bb.

here's a pic of Raven from today!! she's doing fine. cute as ever.

now, for the juicy question.... i'll leave my answer under the cut cuz it's gonna be long.

first, i'm gonna say that, just like it happened with his thing for thighs, i hadn't realised i had made him demi until fairly recently while i was writing a drabble... i tend to just write whatever comes to mind and then it's like i have a revelation afterwards lol. so after i wrote a particular phrase i was like "wait a damn minute..." (i'll leave the phrase at the end for those that are curious), and i started back tracking to Chris' instalments and realised i had been writing him this way for a long time now (not to say from the very beginning).

with that being said, i am currently not 100% sure if Chris as a character is aware that he's demi or not. just because i haven't decided which option i want most lol idk if i want him to already know before meeting pretty mum, or if i want him to go through that journey of finding the label for him with her... regardless, the way he handles his romantic/sexual feelings has always been... like demisexuals do, you know?

i think Chris Wereroomies might've had two (max three) partners in the past, and i'm sure they were all either friends or someone he met through friends that he ended up hitting things off with fairly well. he never understood how Changbin was able to go sleeping around with random people, because, for him, what was the point of sex if it wasn't to enjoy a good time with a specific someone? it genuinely felt like a ginormous waste of time and energy otherwise.

Chris is an alpha, yes. which makes it so he probably has a high sex drive in general, but that sex drive only ever exists when there is already an important person in his life. that's why we've read his inner voice talk about having "a lot of self-control" and why he was able to spend ruts on his own. his already existing predisposition to not feeling sexual attraction from the get-go probably made it so his cravings during his rut were nothing but the very minimum his wolf had, so even if he was frustrated it was still manageable.

while i'm writing this, i'm wondering if he ever spent his rut with anyone at all... if his previous relationships lasted enough for that to be a possibility.... i'll have to think more on this one tbh lol

but anyway... being demi is also probably one of the reasons why he'd been told he was "too intense" in the past. it's very likely that in his previous relationships he had developed these feelings that the other person simply didn't have or didn't feel as strongly, so of course they thought he was intense. what i suppose happened was that his high sex drive and his predisposition to being a hopeless romantic was somewhat contained when he was going through periods of time without feeling attraction towards someone, but then he did meet someone he was attracted to and he suddenly had all these needs that were just too much to contain.

then pretty mum came along...

in Alpha Dog, the narration tells us:

"Chris often prided himself on being a rational being, with a lot of self-control even for someone with a condition just like his, but as soon as he took in the shape of your body, it was almost as if he could feel his human mind short circuit and hear his inner wolf howling in desire.

He’d never been much of having a ‘type’ when it came to his partners, at least not physically. Sure, there were certain attributes he preferred, but in the grand scheme of things he’d fancied people with all different types of looks. That day, though, as he struggled to make coherent sentences and act normal while he showed you the place, Chris realised–quite puzzled, he might add–that maybe he did have a type, and maybe that type was you."

the day he met our dearest pack mum was the first time he ever felt any sort of sexual attraction for a stranger.

this is obviously due to his supernatural bond with her (aka due to him imprinting. yes, he had imprinted then, he just didn't know), but at the time he was just confused as hell because he'd never gone through anything similar. i'm sure that many times in the past he'd seen people with similar body types to pretty mum's and he was like "ohh, that's attractive", but recognising someone as attractive doesn't necessarily mean he wanted to fuck them (if you're demi, you know how this feels like...). so of course he thought pretty was attractive, but to the point of wanting to touch her all over??? after hardly saying more than twenty words to each other??? nothing he'd ever felt before, tbh.

essentially, that day he met pretty those very minimal wolf cravings he had turned up a notch, but it wasn't until he actually got to know her that it all started escalating. his inner wolf's cravings, his human needs, it all started piling up inside of him once he started developing that personal connection with her... which is why the first rut he went into after she moved in was so unbearable. he no longer had minimal urges, he was full on horny for this woman and he could hardly cope.

this is so long, my god hahahah but those are the thoughts i have so far related to Chris Wereroomies being demi. hope this answer is satisfactory !

i still need to think more about pretty mum and her past in order to determine if she's demi or not... but that's something for another day hahahah

so, finally, if you're curious, the phrase i wrote that made me have this entire epiphany of demisexual werewolf chris was this:

"When it came to romantic partners, he never cared about looks or gender or designations. All he cared about was finding a connection. And, in a more shallow approach, about big juicy thighs he could hold onto… But even then, the physical aspect of it would never stop him from pursuing someone (...)"

thank you for this question, bb! it took me all day to answer, but i enjoyed thinking about it. hope it's coherent enough hahaha

This is the story of my worst heartbreak

It was the summer of 2020, after my first lockdown a friend of mine celebrated their birthday and I met this person for the first time in his house. After that we started taking nonstop and eventually we started hanging out. I was 16 back then and very naive and inexperienced, so I developed feelings pretty quickly. Problem is I was the only one of the two that did. Long story short, they ended up starting a relationship with another person, and eventually we had some arguments between my friend and them and they stopped talking to me.

The next couple of weeks were pretty difficult for me. I deadass didn't wanna go out of the house. This was the first person I truly loved and wanted to pursue a relationship really bad. But, second lockdown came and I finally decided to take some care of myself and move on.

I ended up losing approximately 15 kilos and generally felt better. Untill I got a DM from them apologizing. They sent four big paragraphs explaining their regrets, and told me they wanted to start talking to me again. On that moment, I knew I shouldn't say yes, but I loved them too much to say no. So there we were, hanging out again and everything was fine.

A month or two after the apology we were in a call, and they were talking to me about their relationship and how pressuring it was for them. Eventually, after a long talk, they broke up. So they were single, but I didn't wanna intervene in our friendship cause I wanted them in my life. I believed that, maybe, just maybe, something would change down the line.

A couple weeks after that and they already started talking to other people. And I mean A LOT of people. I tried to not think about it, but I honestly didn't like that. I hate to admit that I got jealous, cause clearly these other people were able to do something that I simply couldn't. As much as I didn't wanna intervene again, I did it. But this time it was more subtle, and we didn't really have any arguments and actually talked about this stuff, and "agreed" to stay friends, as much as this hurt me inside.

Then school started and because we were going to different schools we grew distant over time. Somewhere in autumn they got in another relationship, and they talked to me less and less. So, I just got tired of it and decided to end it. I unfollowed them everywhere and deleted everything I had of them off of my phone. I didn't wanna have anything of them, because I knew it would hurt like hell. Even the thought alone was enough to make me feel so sad at times.

It's been more than a year and I still can't forget these things. I didn't really go in depth on many things, but this experience has really affected me. I'm too scared to express my feelings to anyone, I'm more introverted and I haven't had any other experiences like that with any people. I'm pretty lonely tbh, it's pretty rough cause I just seem to not have the "qualities" for people to like me. But, on the other hand, I've matured a lot and learned to control myself. This story has made me a stronger person and given me the drive to start taking the gym and myself more seriously.

If I said I didn't miss them, I'd be lying. I truly wish things were different. They know how much they meant to me and how much I cherished our memories. I wanted to give the world to them. It's a shame that they picked other people instead of me, but what can you do? Although I'm eager to meet them again, I don't want to at the same time. I can't let myself go through the same shit for the third time. I have all the love of the world to give to them, but unfortunately, I can't let myself do that.

Who knows, maybe we'll meet again eventually, you never know. Maybe there's better things coming for me, but in the meantime, I still remember you fondly.

College rant

The following post contains a lot of swear words and is the product of my summer session suffering. You've been warned.

Okay, so I am goddamn pissed and I need to spill the bucket of bile that has been gathering inside of me and festering for days now.

To give a little background, I will say that I have those two professors in my college and they suck.

One is a woman well past her retirement age who decided to stay anyway, because why the fuck not, and make us poor students miserable for shits and giggles. Taking notes on her lectures is almost impossible, she's such a bore when she talks and there's something so ominous about her.. Every time someone does something wrong you can just feel the rage emanating from this seemingly calm person as she proceeds to correct your literature interpretation to her own specific taste, all the while saying that she's "horrified and has no idea how we're going to pass the exam". Way to go, gurl, just kill the motivation straight away, why don't you.

Also, the subject of her lectures is definitely not in my taste. I don't want to judge, but old Croatian literature is.. weird. It keeps talking about romances, stereotypically beautiful women and eroticism (some of you may have an idea how bloody awkward I feel discussing these things with people I know only through computer, I feel wrong talking about it with anyone tbh). I don't like it, I don't get it and my professor doesn't give two shits about it. Instead, she decided to make my exam difficult by constantly interrupting me and being an ass in general (I failed because of that >:[).

My poetry professor on the other hand just.. won't accept the work I did FOUR times already and he says there's still something wrong with it but what? Haha, go figure out on your own and if you can't then sorry, I take that as your resignation. Like, what the fuck dude??? Just be helpful for once this year!

On top of all that and my Croatian (3) and Latin (1) exams (thankfully these went good), I had to pass THREE spoken exams (my nemesis) and failed every single one of them. I'm losing my fucking mind over here, why the hell can't I just write this stupid shit and be done with it, I can't SPEAK to people, I cannot memorize all that crap! I'm abysmal! What do they think I am, a machine that can just absorb the tonnes of information that I won't even make use of in my life?! Who tf, is eloquence???? I haven't met her!!

I'm very, very very skeptical about the whole thing, it may turn out I'll get kicked out and staying positive is extremely difficult, I just want to give up only thinking about having to talk with that sodding woman. I think it's time to get a job maybe, I don't know. I'll work in some cheap shop or something, and when we finally move house I'm gonna babysit my nieces and help my younger brother with a snake he plans on buying. If this jackass of a man doesn't accept my FIFTH attempt, I'm fucking quitting and I'm not even joking. I'm going to make a sad Bloodborne comic because I can and for no other reason. I haven't drawn in ages and right now I need to focus on something different because if I don't I'm going to go insane.

In conclusion? FUCK THAT, I'm off to destroy something, maybe play Darksiders again just to kick Abaddon's arse cuz I like this bossfight and for some reason I like to torture myself with Apocalyptic difficulty. I hope you people are having a better time than I am. Sophia out. Peace!

How I Met Your Mother.

This show inhabit a special place in my heart, and that is why my first show review here will be about it. The most controversial ending in the 21st century television. I'll start. Spoilers alert obviously.

Season 1 - We were introduced to this life of Ted Mosby. We got to know his friends, Lily, Barney, his best friend Marshall, and Robin. In this season, the audience's sympathy and feelings were with Ted. The feeling of finding someone to love and to have their feelings reciprocated equally. At some point, we were all Ted - stupid, indecisive, hopeless romantic. He's smart, supportive and loving and we saw that in the first season.

Season 2 - Since Ted is stupid, he cheated on someone for someone who isn't sure with him. Yes, last season, he cheated on Victoria for Robin. Crazy. Still, he's a great friend anyone could ask for. He never leave Marshall when Lily left and supported his sadness. In this season, I saw Barney's heart. He is more than a womanizer that he always wanted to portray. He does care. Takeaway in this season, I realized that love is something that most people search and never find that's why when you find that person you feel like you want to spend your life with, you do something about it and you keep them. Lily and Marshall proves that. And that it's not bad to chase your dreams as long you know how to weigh things. And art is life.

Season 3 - "it's funny how sometimes you just find things." In this season, Lily and Marshall started to build their own life by owning their own house (kinda redundant but who cares?). Ted, who still believe in love, dated again. Robin tried to live her life in the way she thinks suits her. The takeaway in this season is that when you have a dream, you gotta hold on to them. It can be hard, there will be obstacles along the way and we should face them because those can be the path that can lead us to where we supposed to be. Risking is not that scary if you know you got the right people with you.

Season 4 - Finding your purpose. I'm not one to talk about this topic because I personally have no idea about mine. But in this season, I felt the same way with Ted (I totally relate to him and I hate it) about what he wanted to do. It was a bumpy road for the gang in terms of their personal life and career, but in the end, Ted decided to teach (damn it, just to be clear, I never wanted to be a teacher, oh fvck, what if I end up like him?) Anyway, season takeaway: if you feel like you do not fit in to something, probably, you have to leave. Some things may be waiting for you to discover and you just haven't found it yet because you're stuck trying to push yourself into something you're not for. And you may be doing other people a favor by doing so.

Season 5 - "You can ask the universe for signs all you want. But ultimately we only see what we want to see, when we're ready to see it." A good season. Lily and Marshall's character were growing. Barney, kept his awesome self but his character keeps on showing softness which can be visible every now and then. Robin, well I personally don't like her (probably because I see myself in her, dammit) Ted, on the other hand, never stop believing in love tho he did doubt it when Stella left him at the altar and in some parts at season 2. But he's Ted Mosby, he'll start believing again. My personal favourite episode in this season I think, is 'the last cigarette ever', I don't know, I just love the friendship that was shown on that episode. Anyway, season takeaway: when you ask for a sign, that's already a sign. And you can't force your way out into something because you got to deal with them at some point.

Season 6 - "Sometimes things need to fall apart to make way for better things" yea that's the exact quote but I like to say it this way: some things fall apart so that better things can fall together. Same thought but better right? Yea, whatever. Lol. This season is full of emotions. Like a lot of emotions. I can say that the writers really outdid themselves. Marshall's father died, which I never saw coming. And tell you what, I've seen the show four times and I still cry on that scene. And Barney, he met his dad, and that scene on his dad's court, that broke me. Neil's acting was superb. Season takeaway: forgive people. Forgive yourself. Enjoy the little things. Appreciate each moment. Cherish the people who make you feel loved. Never hurt other people intentionally and make wise decisions. That's quite hard, but I guess doable.

Season 7 - "Not because something needs to be said, does it mean it needs to be heard." I don't know why I chose this quote for this season but I just did, so. Anyway, this is a good season, I loved this season, tbh. Lily gave birth to their son, Marvin. New beginnings, but Ted, somehow was still unable to settle his feelings. (I don't want to elaborate, just watch the damn show) And I hate him for being so dumb. There's this episode entitled, 'symphony of illumination' and 'tick, tick, tick' yea, those bummed me. I love how those episodes tugged my heart.

Shoot, two more seasons. Lol. Okay, FYI, it has been more than a year since I last saw the show, so everything I wrote here is based on memory and a little bit of help from ecosia so that I don't misquote them. Lol. Continue.

Season 8 - oh! this season, one of the best. The most elaborate proposal that I have ever seen. It was a blessing to the people. Jk. But, that proposal was so perfect I freakin cried. In this same season, Ted had a very touching imagination. He looked for his wife. He gave the lines - which I memorized, and told what he felt at that time and I just bawled like a baby the whole scene. It was perfectly sad and heart tugging. It was a premonition that I didn't see coming. Season takeaway: trust is important.

Season 9 - The season where most of the people were left unsatisfied. This whole freakin season revolved around Barney and Robin’s wedding. Yes, that was basically it. Jk. In this season they build up Barney and Robin’s love and then they give us the mother. It was great. Up until the last two episodes. The writers failed me. The love that they built up ended up with divorce. WTF ryt. Then the mother died. And that montage scene of her and Ted together, ugh I had nothing else to do but to let my tears flow. It was heartbreaking. Takeaway: things may not always go according to plan, life goes on and we move forward.

All in all. I was disappointed. The writers tried. And I salute them for trying and giving the audience a streched and realistic ending. Just like what I said before, It's not the destination, it's the journey. And still I love the show, all its plothole, all its bad side, all the inconsistencies, and all its flaws. I've learned a lot of lessons from it. The show has a lot of quotable life quotes. I discovered beautiful songs (the ost is superb). Discovered new shows. And it taught me how to appreciate life more. And for that I am so thankful. Here's a final quote, tho I'm still not fully confident with this:

"Because sometimes even if you know how something’s gonna end, that doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy the ride."

Ava & James

Ava: I've told all my family James: oh Ava: Maybe don't oh that hard Ava: thinking you've changed your mind and that's going to be very difficult to do a 180 on tbh James: I'm actually thinking about Bella's dad's reaction Ava: As far as I'm aware, my dad doesn't have a shotgun Ava: or an excellent moustache Ava: definitely not James: Mine does, on both counts, but the mentality simply isn't there James: war of words is as far as things have so far escalated Ava: That's a good visual Ava: what about your mum? James: she's very busy lining up every single woman she's aware of between the ages of 20 to 30 within a mile radius or so Ava: Very Mr Darcy Ava: I'll gatecrash James: I look forward to the dramatic dance scene during which we only touch palms & exchange looks Ava: I bet Lizzie Bennet didn't 😳 Ava: shame my sister isn't around to push over so your parents are forced to take us in whilst she languishes James: 😂 James: I'll happily push my sister over or let her fall through an iced over pond to further our romantic narrative Ava: 💘 Ava: I know it's less about me but I can swoon nonetheless James: if you're 😳 then you'll have my full attention regardless Ava: Promise? James: yes Ava: even if the single ladies have really good period costumes? James: well, I hadn't considered that Ava: 😏 Ava: rude James: before I decide, what are you going to be wearing when you gatecrash? Ava: Obviously something unexpectedly knockout Ava: am the protagonist, need I remind you James: okay, what I'm hearing is anything you already own or could pick out from anywhere given a few moments Ava: You're adorable Ava: how did it go really then? James: does that mean I'll get to see you before there's a seasons changing montage? because I really want to Ava: Providing you don't need to exile yourself, of course James: I'm sure there's now several people in both our lives who would like me to, but I won't Ava: They were as receptive as I expected but I've made it clear I won't be stopping seeing you, hopefully put to bed the concerns I can James: in my case, the only concern is outward appearances so there's very little I can do even if I particularly cared to James: & Teddy isn't concerned so much as shocked & appalled Ava: Of course Ava: at least I'm an addendum re. the main issue of the whole divorce, in that case? Ava: yeah, do you think I should make a point of talking to him or give him space? James: will you? as far as he's concerned I haven't made a good decision within his living memory, but you two are friends, or were Ava: I'll try, definitely Ava: if I can make him see it's as much my decision as yours, it might help, in the end Ava: and I can handle another person having their say James: thank you James: I meant what I said, I'm more than willing to discuss this with your parents, at any point James: I can handle that Ava: Thank you Ava: I think it might help Ava: but I also think I'm gonna give them a cool-off period or it won't be at all helpful and that won't be at all your fault James: understood James: I'm currently having to employ a similar situation with Jay's playdates because her friend's mothers cannot possibly keep their nose out of my business or their mouths shut about where hers is and every other single detail they believe to be fact Ava: Oh lord Ava: I wouldn't have envied you having to socialize by-proxy with the self-professed yummy mummies before but now Ava: I can only imagine Ava: Poor Jay Ava: I can't offer a human child for playdates but Frank is always down Ava: and my lips are, naturally, sealed James: I was hoping to take them away for a few days but it's as though my dad has decided that in lieu of my failings in other areas I need to suddenly become the hardest worker in the history of this company Ava: Of course Ava: Hmm James: because obviously what my children require most in their mother's absence is to also see me less Ava: Well, yeah, that's not potentially traumatizing Ava: thank God for School being right 'round the corner Ava: and Matty still being portable James: I've been bringing them both to the office & the bulging vein in his temple is honestly such a strong contender for the book cover Ava: 😏 That's how you do it Ava: risk his health and wellbeing so you get the time off for yours James: King's didn't teach me everything I know, I've got a few tricks Ava: When are you giving me that tour? James: When can I see you? Ava: When is your dad not working you to death? Ava: I can make it work James: [A pause while he figures that out] James: he's out of the office all day on [a date in the foreseeable to make this office hookup a thing] Ava: No offense but if your brother shows up again you need to send him on a really long coffee run James: as you said, school is right around the corner, meaning my parents priorities have shifted back to making sure he'll go Ava: In that case Ava: 😈 James: 😇 for saying yes Ava: I have ulterior motives, I promise you James: oh really? Ava: really Ava: it's very unfair I've yet to see you in your work clothes James: [sends her a pic because nobody can stop him] Ava: um hello 😍 Ava: you're really going to be away from me looking so good Ava: unfair James: I'm sorry James: I really, really am Ava: Me too Ava: I've not seen you enough to warrant how badly I want to right now James: [a casual essay about how much he misses her and wants her and everything he wishes they could do, in a saucy way but also just in cute ways like] Ava: James James: Ava Ava: I really love you, you know James: I love you too James: what I most wish is that we could go away for a while Ava: That would be Ava: so good Ava: maybe we could in like the Christmas hols, when everything has calmed down Ava: hopefully James: it would be indescribable Ava: I have no doubt you would do your best Ava: and it'd be impressive James: the subject matter lends itself to nothing but my best Ava: I'm honoured🙇 James: so am I, especially by that visual Ava: Gutted I'm out rn and can't immediately fulfill that wish for a visual like you did Ava: when I get back though James: [sends her an even better visual] James: until then, there you are Ava: oh, well, you aren't distracting at all 😖 Ava: definitely gonna get you back when you're so hard at work James: 😈 James: I so badly hope you do Ava: I intend to Ava: every day of the week Ava: but especially when I get to come see you James: you know, the things I intend to do to you on this desk drastically shifts the audience we're going to be able to pitch this book to Ava: You'll have to restrain your imagination in the write-up so the audience can use theirs to fill in the blanks Ava: because there's no way we're leaving your office 'til we've done everything you've thought of James: finally some overtime I'm not upset about Ava: It's all about balance, right? 😇 James: & I'm aware that you've got very good balance Ava: Will that help me be the best good luck charm on your best I can be? 🤔 Ava: intriguing 😋 James: absolutely, but if you need any more help, I'll help you Ava: You're very helpful, baby James: I try to be Ava: I've never met anyone like you James: I don't think I'll ever meet anyone else that comes close to you either James: I certainly haven't before Ava: Good Ava: I don't need to think about competiting so soon James: you don't need to think about it, full stop Ava: not 'til the dance, anyway James: even then, I'll only have eyes for you, that's the cliche Ava: Of course Ava: doesn't mean I'm not gonna do everything within my power to ensure it's worth your 👀s while James: I don't want to dance with anyone else, Ava James: I don't want to do any of this with anyone else Ava: I know Ava: you know I feel the same too James: you know I couldn't have done this without you though Ava: You did it all though, all the hard conversations and hard decisions James: a lot of those decisions were made for me, so there's limited credit due, & a lack of conversation with her just cements that Ava: Yeah but the ball is in her court on that one Ava: you're if not ready at least willing whenever she is James: of course, because that's not a decision, to not act, not any more Ava: yeah, and that's going to be a good thing Ava: even if it is not good all the time James: I'll be interested to see if she gets in contact before school starts because that's unlikely to be a good thing Ava: Yes, I wonder if this is just a summer holiday or Ava: makes you wonder what she's even doing that could keep her so 'busy' James: whoever cleans the pool, probably, not that she'd ever admit to such a cliche Ava: 😬 Ava: definitely not getting paid enough James: 😂 Ava: I'm just glad that right now you don't have to deal with her on the day to day, even if it's only a momentary reprieve, it'll never be that bad again James: me too, I can't & won't pretend that I didn't know how bad it had become but actually getting a break from it makes me wonder how either of us dealt with that for as long as we have Ava: I bet Ava: she must've been as sick of it, even though she was the one not letting go and doing the fucked up shit, that has to be exhausting to live like that Ava: full level hell beast all the time, like 😈 Ava: sorry, I'm not fully sure where the line is re. her Ava: but I've been hearing great things from Nancy and Buster today so, that's in my head James: it's okay, you're not wrong James: & neither are they Ava: Okay Ava: if it's ever weird or like, not up for discussion though, just say the word Ava: or several, as you're especially loquacious James: there's a fantastic word Ava: as far as safewords go Ava: I can think of a few situations where it might be hard to get out but isn't that half the fun James: I'll make a note of it, because yes, that's definitely a large percentage of the thrill Ava: I wish you were here Ava: I only am to get away from my parents for a bit James: where are you? Ava: My friend's house Ava: Her sister is called Stasia, think she was your year-ish? James: I remember her, whether she would me, favourably or otherwise, I can't possibly comment James: I'll take you home when you want to go Ava: Really? Ava: well, I'll go at whatever time means I get some extra with you James: okay, I'll take that as my cue to leave now, not only because any reason to get out of here is welcomed though Ava: Please do Ava: talking about you so much has only made my need to be with you even greater James: I can absolutely relate & admit to having had the same urge all day Ava: Oh good Ava: we're on the same page James: that said, a necessary note in the margin would be that in actual fact I've felt that way much longer, because whatever I'm talking about, I'm thinking about you Ava: Sometimes I think I think about you too much Ava: but then I remember I'm the protagonist in this romance so it's not just acceptable but necessary James: you can do whatever you like, darling, it's your story Ava: In that case Ava: read on James: voraciously Ava: 🤤🤤 James James: I'm just making sure we're still on the same page Ava: You're gonna have trouble keeping me on the page Ava: and making me go home James: & the driver's eyes on the road, we may need more than the Twilight soundtrack on this occasion Ava: Pride & Prejudice 2005? Ava: gotcha, honey James: 😂 James: yes, exactly Ava: 😊 Ava: I love you so much James: I miss you so much James: if I could take you home with me, I very happily would Ava: I know Ava: one day James: after the move to the other side of the river, because we both know there is a line Ava: It's pretty exciting, isn't it? James: I'm glad to hear you think so because I was going to ask you if you'd like to come house hunting with me Ava: I'd love to! James: [a possible date soonish] ? Ava: That should be good for me Ava: I'll let you know if otherwise Ava: it'll be nice to look at some actual decent places, let's face it, I doubt my student digs will be all that inspiring, like 😏 James: barely room for whatever hazing pranks they have in store, I'm sure Ava: I'm still not convinced that particular visual doesn't just come from a certain type of movie, babe James: you'll have to let me know 😏 Ava: I'll make it good for you James: my faith in you remains unwavering Ava: 🙇 James: have you reconsidered your stance on spoilers? Ava: That does depend James: oh? Ava: have you dumped fake girl? James: she was very slow to accept her fate, but yes Ava: I can't blame her Ava: I wouldn't wanna lose you either Ava: [picture, assumedly in her friend's room or somewhere not just in front of them like oh hey] James: Ava Ava: Make traffic move faster please James: I'll do the quickest rewrite possible & see you at your friend's door Ava: I'll be waiting so patiently James: & I'll be waiting impatiently James: 😇 & 😈 Ava: I think you deserve to be 😈 right now Ava: been a long day, yeah? James: yes, though it feels longer now, stretching out with the queued traffic Ava: 🥺 Ava: we'll just have to see it as motivation to not waste a single second James: it's a promise, in or out of traffic Ava: I'm so lucky James: if you think you are, then I need a better word to describe my own fortune right now Ava: I'm just really happy Ava: in spite of anything else, everything else, right now James: good, me too Ava: 🥰 Ava: you deserve that even more James: you deserve more than I can possibly give you, however patiently you wait Ava: nuuh James: yes you do Ava: 😣 Ava: no Ava: and I want you James: I want you, I'm well aware that it doesn't mean I deserve to have you Ava: How could you possibly not James: because James: the reasons I lack words to describe you aren't even close to the reasons I lack them to describe myself Ava: but I can't describe you either Ava: not just because I'm no writer James: but you do, all the time, in both words & actions I can vividly see myself the way you think of me Ava: I'm glad Ava: keep looking, okay Ava: we'll work on the believing bit James: okay James: if you'd like to get in the car, we can start immediately