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#and she thinks it's something i should pursue
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it seems like a lot of people treat the polls like they were asking "should she transition" and that's really annoying to me. these characters are transitioning anyway. it's only asking if it would save her (and honestly for most of these characters transitioning would not fix their problems. i dont think estrogen would prevent a zombie outbreak. maybe it should though)
Saving doesn't necessarily need to be saving from material conditions, it could also be an emotional saving. If I may borrow your zombie outbreak example, let's say that there exists a terminally depressed zombie apocalypse survivor named Boyd Mulder. Obviously, if Boyd Mulder stumbled across a VHS instructional video on how to brew estrogen at home, this obviously wouldn't end zombie-itis. However, if Mulder knew that she could make a better life for herself, maybe she'd fight just a little harder to pursue that life. Maybe she'd reach out to more survivors to acquire the resources she needs. Maybe she'd develop a series of larger goals to work towards beyond just finding food to eat and a place to sleep. A couple years in, she may have even made a proper life for herself beyond just survival-- something she didn't even have before the outbreak.
Is that not in its own way salvation?
That's how I understand it, anyway.
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grimm-writings · 6 hours
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Hey! Can I request a falin x reader where reader is a lone researcher in the dungeon and stumbles into chimera falin and the two fall in love?
Maybe Like a 5 times the reader has met chimera falin and 1 time the two get to meet after she’s turned back type story?
beauty/beast
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…ft! falin x gn! reader
…tags! 5+1 format, reader is like slightly unhinged, fluff with moments of angst, slight suggestiveness
…wc! 2789
…notes! grimm tries not to come off as a monsterkisser for nearly 2.7k words, the fic,,,, hope you enjoy!!!! i love chimera falin so bad… 
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One
You can’t say you didn’t ask for this.
It’s a death sentence to traverse into a dungeon on your own, especially with your lack of combat skills.  If you were sane, you’d have hired a bodyguard to help take down monsters you couldn’t handle.  Fortunately, you are not, and decided instead you could very well handle monsters in a pacifistic way.
Any companion you told this to chose to stare at you like you admitted to dark magic.
So, you’ll simply prove the nay-sayers wrong!  After all, how hard can it be to tame some monsters?
Very hard, actually.  Like… incredibly.
You had to pride yourself in how you managed to sweet-talk some petty thieves for advice on monsters in the floor you’re currently on, even how to avoid orcs!  At least that much is out of the way.
As for fighting, well, sometimes a very sharp slap to the head with a book, or even the sharp tip of a pen can subdue anyone, if just to give you enough time to run.
Besides, blood makes for some extra ink if you just happened to come by a dead body!
Going purely on efficiency alone, you’re doing tremendous work!  When it comes to your study?  Not so much.
The purpose of coming all the way down here is that you have a very specific urge.  That being, to tame a beast.  Some researchers gained the will to try and do the same to elemental spirits, why not other monsters?
One of the most common rebuttals you receive is that monsters are animals, they can’t be tamed at all, and you shouldn’t even try lest you want your head bitten off.  Considering thus far you only got bitten by a walking mushroom, you think you’re doing rather well!  (You did take an hour to contemplate to yourself how a walking mushroom seemingly has teeth, though.)
That brings you now later to the fourth floor, trying to shield your notes from the water as you lament losing more ink.  Sure, you might write a little bit more than should be necessary, but you surely can’t be out already!
So, delight fills you as you peer past a doorway to see the top half of a woman face down on the floor.  Haha, you can likely drain her pretty easily for some ink!  Looks fresh enough, and some patches of her are already damp with red!
You skip over, humming as you do so, when all at once the woman jerks and looks up at you.  Her golden eyes pierce your own, making you freeze in place.  You wonder if something had gotten mixed up and a succubus ended up making its way to an upper floor, when the walls of the small tower the woman is inhabiting collapses.
A chimera screeches at you, as if telling you to leave it alone.  If you weren’t so awestruck, you would have tried to shush it, lure it towards you and petted its oddly human head.  Alas, you let the chicken-legged thing go, finding a safe haven for itself.
Day 1: I have found a beast in its purest form. I must pursue it. I must tame it.
Two
‘Obsession’ would be putting your experience lightly.
You had never wanted to gaze upon a monster as much as you wished to see the chimera again.  Unique is its proportions, the lower body of a dragon and the torso and head of an adult tallwoman.
To anyone else, its face must be more of a lure.  With the prettiest face and… great assets to boot, like a fish drawn to an angler fish's light, a blindsided adventurer comes near.
You had tried to navigate where the beast has gone, observing the damages of certain areas to lead you closer to it.
Thoughts course through your mind like speckles of a daydream as you walk and walk and walk, trying to sneak past other enemies and adventurers as you do so.  What would its feathers feel like?  Is it different from the mop of blonde hair on its head?  You didn’t get the chance to observe its eyes – are they human or monster?  What of its body heat?  What is its diet?
Ah.  Diet.
Your own body stops walking in realisation.  By all means, comparing their mouth to the rest of their body, it’s ultimately impossible for the chimera to have a stable diet in this dungeon, correct?
Perhaps… you need to make a lure of your own.
Even after days of navigating the dungeon, you still have plenty of rations from the surface remaining in your bag.  Hopefully the chimera likes the most noble meal one can fit inside a lunchbox — meats and pasta with the richest sauce.  One could say your taste in meals is unique, eliciting a morbid curiosity.  If the beast is more in tune with its human side, it will react the same.
You don’t know what tempted you to arrange a table with two chairs on either side.  It’s not like the chimera could fit, but it was only suitable for your first formal meeting with it!  Oh, how you can’t wait to observe it eating, and so close…!
If you’re lucky, it may even attempt to taste you.
You promptly shake off the thought.
What you focus on now is to draw the chimera near.  It seems to favour secluded areas, but has been seemingly chased around.  Aw, is it scared of humans?  That’s just adorable!  Or, maybe, it’s resting before setting off on a search…  Now that’d be some juicy stuff!  Who’s the chimera’s prey?  Another monster, or humans?
Oh, of course you’ll use yourself as bait.  You’re not a coward!
You know basic enough spells that you won’t be entirely drained of mana upon use, lighting up a route to catch the chimera’s attention upon spotting it.  Down you lead it, making yourself look as bright and delectable as possible, before sitting in your seat, your meal readily prepared for the chimera.
You smile up at her as she pokes at the food you prepared, and she begins to eat.
Day 3: The beast was very hungry upon encounter.  Even when she finished the meal, she insisted on having something more.  I complied, and soon I had emptied my entire share of rations.  The chimera eats food made for humans easily. This elicits curiosity – it might be proof enough that the chimera’s existence in this dungeon is unnatural.  Even now, it looks too… human.  I feel uncomfortable now referring to the beast as such – an ‘it’. Thus, I will refer to the chimera as ‘she’ from here on.  It suits her.  She truly is magnificent.   All signs point to her being an attempt at creating a ‘beast-kin’, but instead of using the soul of a monster and body of a human, it’s as if it’s a mesh of both.  A disgustingly beautiful transformation.  To compare, it is not dissimilar to the breeding of a pug.  Deliberately done to appease someone, something.  A selfish birth. Someone must be wanting to do the same as I to the chimera – tame her to their whims. …I’ll have to look further into this.
Three
You feel less in control of your studies these days.
The more you hang around the dungeon, scavenging for food and following your muse, the more insane you feel.  But, for the sake of research, you power through.
The chimera, she has been opening herself up to you.  When she gets anxious, her feathers ruffle, and you shush her with pets.  She calms down occasionally.  Once, you had encountered her, blood on her body and under her fingernails.  You cleaned her using the mana-infused water.  She had never looked so calm.
She doesn’t feel like a monster you have tamed, but a friend.
This scares you.
Sure, there’s the possibility that the chimera is an unnatural phenomenon, and isn’t even a monster.
But that also means you’re losing your resolve.
The chimera sits with you, as you scrub her red-scaled talons free of dirt and blood.  Her upper body leans on you, resting.  You can even hear little chirps slipping from her lips.
She’s so cute.
Even as her golden eyes soften, the small slits in them dilating to exhibit relaxation, she smiles at you.  You don’t flinch when her hands take your face to look at you.  She’s a bird after all – she might be trying to memorise you, how you look, so she knows not to hurt you in the future.
You were nearly about to reminisce on your further embarrassment when the chimera speaks.
Four words.  She spoke four words in the common language, leaving you staring at her.  You’re speechless.  She must know that she’s caught you off guard as she slowly tucks your hair behind your ear and moves away.
The moment is quickly ruined.  “Dragon!”  A boyish voice calls.  “There you are.  You’ve been leaving my side so frequently.  There’s no time to–”
An elf in a cloak freezes upon noticing you.  His heavy eye bags rival your own as he glares down at your sitting position.
You don’t do anything, merely looking up at your friend in confusion.  She is back to being silent again, reaching her arms out to the elf, as if about to pick him up.  He swats at her, before pointing at you.
“Kill them,” he demands her.
She hesitates.  You also find yourself unable to move.  So the chimera is under someone’s control after all.  This elf, forcing you apart from your friend.
You hardly process your friend lifting you off the floor, her fingers closing in around your throat.  Tighter and tighter.  Your eyes can barely make out her empty expression as she squeezes the life out of your lungs.
Snap.
You fall onto the floor, and the mad mage leaves with his dragon in tow.
Day ??: “My name is Falin.” The chimera told me this last time we encountered one another.  She has a name.  A beautiful name that belongs just to her.  Falin. …I would say ‘my Falin’, but she is not.  She is under the control of that elf.  I wouldn’t want her to be my Falin anyway. She shouldn’t belong to anyone. I was revived by a kindly Eastern woman, who is accompanying a group of retainers following their lord.  They are joined by another party, also recently revived. Apparently, in my revival, I had uttered her name, “Falin,” and captured the attention of the malnourished lord. He is looking for her. …I was informed she is his love. Pushing personal feelings aside, I asked to come along.  I neglected to mention Falin’s current state.  I couldn’t do that to him right now.  Maybe once he sleeps, or eats… but not now. Falin, I wish to save you.  That is my goal now. You are not a monster to be tamed.
Four
Today, you met Laios Touden.
He is Falin’s older brother, you learn.
You met a lot of people, actually.  You met Falin’s party, an elf who Falin went to school with, as well as Laios Touden.
“You’ve seen Falin?”  He asks you, brow creased.  He had leaned forward in interest.  Lord Toshiro, Kabru, and Asebi were also listening to you with intrigue.
You nod.  “Yes, but I fear the situation might be a little more than you have bargained for,” you vaguely inform.
Your words would be interrupted by Laios’ request to talk privately with Toshiro, to which you comply.  You do already have a feeling of what's being said, something Kabru seems to pick up on as he glances over at you.
“Falin… isn’t faring well, is she?”
“Not in the traditional sense,” you reply.  Kabru grimaces, clearly not appreciating your rather… erratic way of conversing.  You add before he could talk back, “she’ll come back for me.”
Kabru furrows his brow.  “Excuse me?”
His question remains unanswered until you are swept up in a heated battle.  Looks of horror cross everyone’s faces at the bloody acts committed by the chimera.
You merely smile.
“Hello beauty,” you whisper when she turns to you.  Falin steps forward, cornering you.  You welcome her with open arms – and the world becomes dark again.
Day ??: Scorned though I may be by Lord Toshiro, I know myself not to be mad, but in love. Yes, I am in love.  I know this now for certain. I know that he, too, is in love.  I do not see his wishes badly.  In fact, from a sane man’s mouth, it is perfectly understandable.  Dark magic is dangerous.  As is love.  He’s risking his own reputation for it, even if others don’t appear to see things the way he does. But when push comes to shove, I am not that sane man.  I am joining Laios Touden’s party in the retrieval of Falin. The aftermath of the battle consisted of a hearty meal.  Who knew monsters could taste so nice?  Keep this in mind for the next adventure. I had figured this all came from the result of black magic.  Marcille Donato is a much more interesting woman than I thought.  I’m sure I could learn a lot from her. Hence, we march forward.  I know you aren’t in your right mind, Falin, but trust that I am. I will risk it all for you, beauty.
Five
The ice is cold underneath your fingertips.  The woman encased inside is relaxed, as if she’s merely asleep.  To see her completely separated from the lower half of the chimera body was something uncanny to you, so used to seeing her towering over you, able to squash you like a bug.
You turn to Marcille as she approaches.  “You had the right mind, keeping her fresh like this.  Deep down, you really did want to follow through with the plan!”
The blonde elf is sheepish.  “I did end up causing a right mess in the end.  It… It was selfish of me.”
“It was love,” you reply.
“Not the love Falin needs, though,” she finishes.
You both stare up at her in silence.  If you were delusional enough, you could swear you could see Falin breathing.
“I love her,” you admit, quieter than you have ever been.  “Is that alright with you?”
Marcille turns to you, her eyes wide.  For such a gossip, she really hasn’t picked up on it?
“I…”  She hesitates.  Her hands reach her trousers, and she scrunches up the fabric in her hands.  “It’s not my choice what – or who – Falin chooses.  I don’t think I have the right to decide anything for her.”
You nod, graciously taking Marcille’s word to heart.
You feel you’ve also changed throughout your journey.  Volatile as you may be, you appreciate Falin as she is.  An untamed beauty.  Not for anyone to claim or put their ideals onto.
She’s simply Falin.
“Come on,” Marcille takes your hand.  She has the kind of look on her face where you know she accepts you readily.  “Let’s go eat, okay?  For Falin.”
You smile back.  “For Falin.”
I don’t care about the day anymore. Falin is being revived today.  Soon, I’ll have a chance to meet the real her.  The beauty behind the beast. Ha.  I haven’t called her that for a while. Maybe I’ll follow Toshiro’s way and propose immediately too?  No, Marcille may accept me, but that might result in another need for revival. I can’t wait to get to know you.
the first time
Falin opens the door with a dazed expression, not expecting the crowd waiting around the door.  Of course, this resulted in quite the hoo-ha.  People running around, celebrating the successful revival of Falin Touden.  You wait patiently for you to be welcomed once more.
The woman is sitting calmly at her bed.  Some of her features are still feathered, but you’ve always liked how they felt underneath your fingertips.
She glances up at you, examining your form.
You’re taller than she thought.
“Hi,” you say, handing over a random blade of grass you picked.
Falin takes it.  Her fingers brush against your own.  She starts twirling the natural green between her fingers.  She smiles warmly.  “Hello,” her soft, tired voice returns.  It’s so sweet that you might melt.  “My name is Falin.  It’s nice to meet you.”
You know from the way she glances up at you that she already remembers you quite well.
Feeling the happiest you’ve ever been, you fall into Falin, pulling her into the tightest of hugs.
“It’s so wonderful to meet you too, beauty.”
Today, she asked me if she could belong to me. I said yes, but only if she belonged to herself first. She accepted.
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interstate40 · 8 months
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I have got to (got to got to) film my BB26 audition tape soon.
I already have it planned out in my head, I just need to rope someone into filming me for a little bit
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nozomijoestar · 3 months
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Asuka is a tragic figure, a figure of mystery, a wild card, all because the only thing she wants in life is peace and quiet for herself and to feel in control- yet her secret heritage that may be hidden from her for her own protection and the reality that life is unpredictable and will go on with or without you keep ruining that delusion, that vision of how the world is meant to work to her, and she suffers regardless of what she wants, what she does, and how little she understands anything
She was born into a family preaching peace and balance and order while being a creature of violence, and puts a dozen mental locks and excuses over this truth to justify giving into her impulse for fighting by pretending she's justice when she does it
She keeps trying to build a place of safety but she's using sand and life is a wave that destroys, yet she stubbornly persists rather than give up, not drowned to the point of self centered suicidal loathing like Jin- there's contrast, where Jin is cloaked in death Asuka stubbornly clings to life and humanity as a normal person in a terrifying world
She's not a fucking narrative clone for Jun's own purpose, Asuka's purpose must be determined by Asuka herself
#tekken#Jin is born of two worlds Jun walks between two worlds Asuka is at the crossroads of two worlds#Jin is broken by it Jun traded part of her humanity to reconcile it and now Asuka has to accept it yet persist- she is always persisting#that's her strength that no matter what she's always still herself#'For being so very Y o u' as Lili told her bc she sees it#she's an interesting character BECAUSE she's not Jun and she's not Jin and she's not aligned with them entirely#stop waiting for her to be something she's not#also i think it's GOOD she doesn't know everything or everyone in her family bc that builds mystery and suspense#it gives everything a tension in the background for when the normalcy charade will be broken by the bigger family drama catching up w her#what's happening to the Mishimas should be something no one is dragged into yet the one family member who's the least connected#is going to run out of time at some point and get hit by that trauma anyway and she doesn't even Know it's coming for her eventually#isn't it fucked up. how everything catches up with you in the end#and you won't even understand it until it's too late ie. her involvement in T8 global war now#also a character that wants peace and order but actively pursues violence ensuring she will never truly have those things bc of her nature#AND she's already been traumatized by T5 Feng and T6 Jin that just makes her retreat to seeking comfort in detachment- in the familiar#which only prolongs her avoiding the world outside what she can control- and then Lili won't let her live in ignorance not to punish her#but bc she wants to help her bc the Mishimas have already put their claws in Lili- they won't catch Asuka off guard#what is it with people sanitizing the messiness and humanity characters represent in favor of 'If they just acted logically the way I want#then they'd solve the entire story 1 2 3 and we'll have everything wrapped up easy' THAT'S NOT A STORY THAT'S A MATH EQUATION#FEEL SOMETHING INSTEAD OF ALWAYS NEEDING TO SOUND SMART AND HAVE PERFECT ANSWERS YOU STUPID FUCKS#IN TRYING TO MAKE EVERYTHING HAVE A PERFECT SOLUTION YOU'VE LOST SIGHT OF WHAT'S IN THE TEXT#AND ALSO ASUKA BEING VIOLENT BUT STILL CARING ABOUT PEOPLE AND DOING GOOD DESPITE IT#and AsuLili is about two similar people who've been traumatized finding safety in each other once they put down the trauma responses#this is all in line with T8's tagline of Face Your Fate btw this is literally what was always coming finding you & you face it
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quietwingsinthesky · 1 year
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thinking about a version of spn where billie taking on the role of Death functioned on elder scrolls rules, where through performing the role, she Became Death to the point where her selfhood was subsumed into the concept. Instead of idk she was the last reaper that died so she gets the job.
#yes I played oblivion recently yes I am always thinking about sheogorath#anyway spn is like. about how you think you have autonomy. you think you are making choices#but actually you don’t and you are in over your head#and this could have applied to them too#because Someone has to be death. Someone has to take on that role#so say she did. say she did and she can even still have a grudge against the Winchesters or whatever (valid of them tbh)#but like. we could have watched them. in performing that role. in taking on that duty. Voluntarily!! they stop being themselves#like. she is still billie but also. there is something Fundamentally Changed in a way that’s hard to put a finger on.#a way in which she has become Death. no longer really an agent of her own will but a primordial force.#guess this is getting into my own vague hc territory but like. death interfering with shit is! a big deal!#was a big deal at least.#Lucifer had to slaughter a town to set It free and shackle It. dean had to wear Its ring to make a deal with It#death showing up. personally. to collect Sam! big big deal!!#because a force like that taking an interest is a Bad Thing. that is why Chuck is Bad. he’s too invested! too involved!#but anyway this was about Billie.#tl;dr: the goal to become Death should have been something they pursued. not something given to whichever reaper happened to die first#and in the pursuing. they lose enough of themselves to no longer know why they originally wanted the title. but it’s hers now. she is Death#I should stop trying to push oblivion lore into spn asdggjklhl I JUST THINK MANTLING. IS A COOL CONCEPT#AND I THINK. IT HAS POTENTIAL IN OTHER UNIVERSE BESIDES THE ELDER SCROLLS LORE#anyway this has been thoughts for the day#supernatural#spn#Billie spn#death spn
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continuousmeowing · 1 year
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if my mother didn't want me to become a librarian or a professor or something i would totally do theatre stuff for the rest of my life. but alas.....
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heavenknowsffs · 2 years
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This one is gon be nsfw and personal
#sorry guys i just need to vent?#and also laugh about the fact my friends actively contribute more to my sex life than me#like yesterday i thought this guy was cute and my friend went up to him and said 'my friend thinks youre cute'#and ended up at his house and i'm just thinking like ? if she didn't do that i would have just looked at him in the club#and that would be it bc i never act on anything#and the reason why is bc i just don't particularly enjoy sex bc it's lathered with trauma and pain for me#like pain i mean physical pain which is NOT normal and i feel bad bc i can't really make it enjoyable for my partner#bc obviously if you're in pain the whole time you're not gonna want to do it unless ya know that's on purpose#but yeah everything went well i just think it's funny how i don't think about sex at all or pursue it bc it brings me so much pain#yes i know i need to go to the doctor but i also don't have money and the public healthcare system says 'oh no you're fine'#every appointment i had within nhs about endometriosis or pain in general related to this they're always like oh no you good#i went to a gyno in a private clinic and she was like oh boy something is defo up in here this isn't normal#so tell me HOW I'VE BEEN GOING TO THE HOSPITAL FOR YEARS TELLING ME YEAH YOU GOOD AND THEN THIS LADY TAKES ONE LOOK AND KNOWS#thanks bitch i been telling you i was in pain thank you for ackowledging it#anyway thanks for coming to my ted talk rant ovee#i just think people should be able to enjoy sex and have a healthy sex life rid of unwanted pain and have medical treatment
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tinylittlebab · 1 year
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bleh everything SUCKS
#sisters stupid freind/both our roommate is HORRIBLE#hes so controlling and decided hes in charge of of her#she bought a fish. something that doesnt affect him in the slightest. and hes furious with her#hes like. saying it will cause issues in their friendship if she doesnt get rid of it. hes not even saying that its a problem because he#doenst wanna deal with it bc he has acknowledged that it doesnt affect him. hes angry bc he thinks it was impulsive and irrisposible#which like 1. it wasnt and shes beentalking about getting one for years and can probably afford and take care of it and 2. even uf it was#its not a decision that affects him so he has no right. shes an adult who can make her own choices even if theyre are bad ones#hes so mean to her all the time and demands all her time. talks down all her friends. insults her for wanting a relationship. refuses to#listen to any of her problems or support her and refuses to let her talk about any of her interests he doesnt share either#talks down every hobby she has. calls all of it stupid and a waste of money even though he soends SO much money on clothes all the time#and he gets angry with her when she isnt into the stuff he is (mostly shows). even when she agrees to watch it with him he gets angry if#she isnt as into it as she is. hes just decided theyre in a relationship which means shes not allowed to pursue anyone but he is also not#interested in her in the way she wants. he insults her for wanting anything more out of a relationship bc hes content without it rn#hes awful. i hate him. i dont wanna live with him another year. i dont want her to lose him totally bc theyve been freinds for so long and#she really cares about him but fucking hell. they should NOT live together. gonna apply to some places. this lease ends in 3-4 months so#theres not much time for me to adjust but if im adjusted in time then maybe we will go get an apartment just us 2#and then maybe she can get a fucking support dog like she needs bc shes disabled but he refuses to let her get
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itadorey · 7 months
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𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐭𝐨 𝐲𝐨𝐮
𝐬𝐦𝐮𝐭. 𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐨𝐫𝐬 𝐝𝐧𝐢
pairing: geto suguru x f!reader summary: moments between you and geto, and how you inevitably ended up in his bed. genre: smut, college au, ends in fluff, geto is whipped tbh notes/warnings: mdni, vaginal sex, squirting, creampie, praise kink!, mentions of womanizer gojo bc it makes me giggle, somewhat flirty geto, flirty gojo, shoko smokes, mentions of alcohol, first time posting smut pls be nice it's mid at best. rushed and barely edited!! yes this is a repost oops. wc: ~4.9k
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i.
if someone had told you five months ago that you would eventually end up in geto suguru's bed, you would've laughed in their face.
the names geto suguru and gojo satoru were notorious across your campus, and yet you had never interacted with them before you met ieiri shoko. gojo satoru was known for his flirtatious tendencies, and with a simple smile and a flash of his bright, blue eyes he was able to get most people fall for him. he had no shortage of admirers or flings, and he took great pride in the fact that none of his short-lived romances had ever ended badly.
geto suguru, on the other hand, had rarely been seen pursuing anyone. there were rumors, of course, of the lucky individuals that had gotten to spend the night with him, but geto had never taken it upon himself to confirm or deny any of them.
you couldn't care less about either one of their love lives, but no matter what classes you took and no matter who you sat next to, they always became a topic of conversation.
"so, are you going?"
you looked up from your notes to see your seatmate— mika, you think her name was— looking at you curiously. you gave her a puzzled look, earning an exasperated one in return before she leaned in.
"to the party tonight?" she whispered conspiratorially. "you know, the one gojo and geto are hosting?"
"no," you replied, turning back to your notes in hopes of ending the conversation. the truth was that you were attending, you were just hoping to get in, get tipsy, and leave before anything interesting could happen. in addition to being attractive, gojo satoru was also loaded, and that usually meant that he supplied all the alcohol at his parties without demanding some sort of payment from anyone who attended. as a broke college student, who were you to turn down free alcohol?
"you should," mika continued, a soft giggle leaving her lips as she jotted down some notes. "i heard geto will actually be there this time. something about it being in his honor."
your nose scrunched at her soft sigh, and she gave you a look of disbelief when you remained unimpressed with her news.
"you know, he barely shows up to these things, even though he lives there," she pressed on, biting her lip as she giggles.
"look," you said, not unkindly. "i'm gonna be honest with you; i could not care less about either one of them."
mika huffed before turning away, and you sighed in relief when she made no effort to continue the conversation. you looked away when you hear a snort coming from your left, and you raised your gaze to meet a pair of tired, brown eyes.
"not a fan of gojo and geto?" the girl asked, earning an amused laugh from you.
"i wouldn't know," you replied truthfully, shrugging casually. "never met 'em."
you watched as the girl barked out a laugh at your response, holding out a hand for you to shake. "i like you. i'm ieiri shoko."
you gave her your name as you shook her hand, your conversation coming to an abrupt end when your professor walked in. you smiled to yourself when the lecture eventually ended, watching as mika hurried out of class after giving you an unimpressed look.
"so, are you really not going to the party?" shoko asked, falling into step with you as you left the building. you watched as she pulled out a pack of cigarettes, placing one between her lips before offering one to you. you shook you head lightly as she patted her pants pockets. "you wouldn't happen to have a lighter, would you?"
"of course i'm going," you replied, rummaging through your backpack for your lighter. you handed it to her with a smirk, earning a raised eyebrow in return as she lights the stick between her lips. "i'd be an idiot not to. i just wanted mika to stop talking."
"i guess i'll see you there," shoko mused, placing your lighter back into the palm of your hand as you came to a crosswalk. "look for me when you get there, yeah? you seem like good company."
you nodded your head as she waved, walking off in the opposite direction you were headed toward. you made it through the rest of your day without incident, making sure to grab an early dinner before taking a quick shower and lying down.
a quick glance at your clock let you know that it was nearing eight, and you sighed loudly before standing up and walking over to your closet to pick out your outfit. you took your time getting ready, music blasting as you finally slipped on your shoes and ordered a ride.
by the time you arrived at the party, it was in full swing. you could feel the bass thumping from where you stood on the sidewalk, and you quickly made your way to the front door in an attempt to escape form the cold wind.
you made a beeline towards the kitchen, resolving to get a drink first before looking for shoko. you hummed along to the song that was playing as you grabbed a cheap plastic cup, pouring yourself whatever what in the bottle closest to you. you slowly made your way out of the kitchen, raising the cup to your lips before catching sight of mika. you jolted lightly, placing your cup on the nearest table when you saw her turn your way before you ducked into a hallway.
a quiet grunt left your lips when you collided against something hard, and you felt yourself tilting backwards before a strong set of hands landed on your waist to steady you.
"woah there, are you okay?"
you glanced up to see geto suguru standing in front of you, an amused smile on his face as he studied you. you shot another glance into the main room, sighing in relief when you realized mika was no longer visible.
"yeah," you mumbled, straightening up and facing geto once more. "i'm good."
it was silent for a few seconds as geto followed your previous line of sight, his hands still resting comfortably on your waist. he turned back when you tapped his shoulder awkwardly, and you were met with the same amused smile still present on his face. he hummed in acknowledgement, looking down at you curiously as you leaned back slightly.
"you can let go now."
"my apologies," geto replied smoothly, his hands lingering for a few seconds before he pulled away. "just wanted to make sure you were okay. i'm—"
"i see you've met geto."
you peeked behind geto's broad frame to see shoko leaning against the wall across from you, and you watched as a look of mild surprise crossed geto's face.
"you two know each other?" he asked, earning nods from the two of you in return. the surprise on his face melted away into a charming smile, and he held his hand out for you to shake. "the pleasure is all mine."
you shook his hand lightly, nodding at him before turning back to shoko. you handed her your lighter wordlessly, and she gave you a grin before beckoning for you to follow her. the two of you exited out the back door, making your way towards the bordering fence as geto followed.
"i haven't seen you around before," geto commented casually, earning a suspicious look from shoko as he attempted to make conversation with you. he gave her a lopsided smile, tilting his head towards you briefly as shoko scoffed at him.
"don't go out much," you mumbled, giving him a dull look at you shrugged.
"why? overprotective boyfriend?" geto asked, earning an amused look from you at his boldness. you chuckled lightly, shaking your head as you crossed your arms.
"more like an overly comfy bed," you retorted, watching as he nodded at your words.
"i'm sure mine is comfier. i can show you, if you'd like," he responded slyly, a handsome smile on his face as he leaned in slightly.
"nah, i'm good."
geto blinked once, twice, three times at your words, staring at you in confusion as shoko's laughter rang in his head.
"what?" he asked dumbly, straightening up when shoko clapped him on the shoulder.
"i'm good," you repeated, giving him a small smile. "thanks for the offer but i'm here for the booze, not the guys."
"i've never seen this happen before," shoko breathed, stomping out her cigarette as her eyes lit up. "oh my god, i have to find satoru."
you watched shoko as she darted away, geto's eyes still on you as he composed himself. he shoved his hands into his pockets before backing away, still reeling from your rejection as you gave him one last look.
"i'm gonna go look for shoko," you mumbled, giving him a small wave before following after her. geto watched as you moved further and further away, his curiosity peaking as he waited for you to turn back and send him one last look. it never came, and he felt his stomach twist in disappointment.
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ii.
"wanna grab lunch?" shoko asked, packing her stuff up as class ended. you nodded wordlessly, zipping your backpack up before slinging it over your shoulder.
"what did you have in mind?" you asked, heading towards the door.
"what about onigiri?"
you and shoko looked up to see geto by the door, his eyes on you as gojo stood beside him waving enthusiastically. a defeated sigh escaped shoko's mouth, and she hooked her arm with yours as she pulled you towards the two boys.
"only if you pay," shoko mumbled, not even having the energy to argue against geto. he gave her an innocent smile as gojo slung an arm over shoko's shoulders, effectively pulling her away from you as he shot you a curious gaze.
"have we met before? you look familiar," gojo asked, his eyebrows furrowing as he looked at you over his sunglasses. you opened your mouth to respond, stopping when he suddenly snapped his fingers. "i know! i've seen you in my dreams."
a surprised laugh left your lips as shoko groaned, and you grinned at gojo as you started walking.
"i totally haven't heard that one before," you commented, saying your name as gojo laughed.
"gojo satoru, but you can call me any time," he said, winking at you as you shook your head with a smile. you missed the way gojo stuck his tongue out at geto.
"don't get your hopes up," you replied, earning an exaggerated pout from gojo. you looked to your side when geto fell into step next to you, giving him a friendly nod as the two of you followed after gojo and shoko. you snorted as you noticed shoko's bored look, the occasional hum coming from her lips as gojo talked her ear off.
"how was class?"
you hummed when you heard geto speak, turning to look at him as he repeated his question.
"your class," he said quietly, glancing at you before turning back to look at his friends. "how was it?"
"it went well," you responded, eyeing him for a few seconds before following his gaze. "a little confusing, but shoko is crazy smart."
"she wants to be a doctor, y'know," geto said softly, a proud smile tugging at his lips. you glanced at him briefly, your eyes softening at the look on his face. "she's the smartest one out of all of us."
"i'm sure she'll be the best doctor," you said honestly. "if she ever quits smoking."
geto laughed at your comment, nodding in agreement as you came to a stop. you joined shoko at a table, nodding absentmindedly as gojo announced that he and geto would go grab the food.
"so?" shoko asked as soon as they were out of sight.
"so what?" you questioned, giving her a confused look.
"now that you've met geto and gojo," shoko began, waving a hand in the direction they had disappeared. "are you a fan?"
"they're not the worst," you admitted, receiving an amused hum in return. "they're huge flirts, but they're okay once you get past that."
shoko nodded in satisfaction just at the two boys reappeared, sliding into the empty seats next to you. you listened closely as gojo rattled off the different kinds they had gotten. you perked up when you heard your favorite ingredient, and you shyly asked if you could have that one.
gojo gave you a funny look before turning to shoko, mumbling something to her as geto held his hand out, the onigiri in hand. you thanked him with a smile, the four of you eating silently as you basked in the sun.
the silence was broken when gojo's phone went off, and his eyes widened briefly before he scarfed down the rest of his food and stood up.
"well we have to get to class," he proclaimed, tugging geto out of his seat before walking away. he paused briefly, sending you one last smile before waving. "it was nice to meet you! we should do this again, but it should just be me and you next time."
you rolled your eyes at his words, briefly catching the hard look on geto's face as you waved them off and turned back to look at shoko. she had the same funny look on her face that gojo did earlier as she looked at the two boys, humming thoughtfully before turning to you.
"you know, that's geto's favorite filling too," she commented, motioning towards your discarded wrapper with a tilt of her head. your eyebrows raised slightly, missing the insinuation behind her words as she sighed. "he always gets the same filling and refuses to eat anything else. i didn't think he'd actually give it to you."
you remained quiet after her statement, picking up the trash before tossing it into the bin next to your table. "there's a first time for everything, i guess."
"who knows," shoko mused, giving you a playful look as she stood up. "maybe he likes you."
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iii.
shoko quickly became a constant in your life, and with her came gojo and geto.
"we're a package deal!" gojo had said when you made a comment about seeing them every single day. "you either get all of us, or none of us."
you couldn't find it in yourself to complain, especially not when the three of them turned out to be good friends. once you got used to the flirting, gojo was kind and funny, always knowing how to cheer you up. shoko was as blunt and honest as ever, and with her help, you were able to raise your grade in the classes the two of you shared.
geto was a different story. unlike gojo, he had never flirted with you after that night at the party, and you couldn't help but feel a little disappointed about it as you spent more time with him.
no one knew how, but you and geto quickly became study buddies. he was more serious than gojo, helping you stay focused, but less strict than shoko, who liked to use tough love to help you retain information. the two of you spent many afternoons at the library, sometimes joined by shoko or gojo, but mostly alone.
you quickly learned that geto was smart, almost frighteningly so, and he had a natural talent for teaching. his voice was soft and pleasant, his tone patient as you asked him to explain concepts you couldn't quite grasp. your study sessions usually ended in dinners together, grabbing whatever you could get from the university's food court.
he was also caring, always making sure to walk you home if your studying ran late. this often resulted in teasing looks from gojo, a pout on his face as he made kissy noises whenever the two of you would leave him behind. he always made sure you walked on the inner side of the sidewalk and he wouldn't leave you alone until he was sure your door was locked, and as the days dragged on, you found yourself becoming more and more attracted to geto suguru.
"you don't get it!" you complained, flopping onto your bed as shoko flipped through a magazine. "he's so— ugh."
"so ugh?" shoko repeated teasingly, watching as you tilted your head back to look at her.
"shoko!" you whined, throwing an arm over your eyes as you huffed. "i thought he was just a flirt. i didn't know he was this charming."
"this is hilarious," shoko commented, ignoring your glare. "remember when you turned him down?"
"he just wanted to hook up," you murmured, sighing softly before sitting up. "now that i've gotten to know him, i'm thinking i should've said yes when i had the chance."
"and who says you don't have a chance now?"
"he doesn't flirt with me!" you exclaim. when you see shoko raise her eyebrow, you elaborate. "he was flirting that night at the party because he was interested. he doesn't say anything that even remotely implies his interest in me anymore. the only one who flirts is gojo!"
"oh, geto definitely has an interest," shoko muttered, earning a curious glance from you. "look, he gives you his favorite foods, tutors you, and even walks you home. i've never seen him do that for anyone else. he wont even tutor satoru! and that's his best friend. if anything, you caught his interest when you turned him down."
shoko's eyes widened in panic when you pouted sadly, your expression falling as you took in her words.
"so he's only interested in me because i'm a challenge?" you asked quietly, earning a frustrated sigh from shoko.
"yes," she answered, getting a sad look from you. "but not in the way you think. he's never had anyone turn him down before you. and then he got to know you and he liked you. i don't think he wants to 'just hook up with you'. he wants to be with you."
"but what if—"
"trust me on this," shoko interrupted. you bit your lip hesitantly before nodding your head. "i think you should start the flirting. if he sees you're interested, then he'll reciprocate. i'm sure of it."
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iv.
you felt a vague sense of deja vu as you stepped into gojo and geto's shared house once again, loud music playing as you weaved your way through the crowd.
you were on high alert as you looked for shoko, yet you still jumped when you felt a heavy arm wrap around your shoulders.
"hey!" gojo shouted, leaning in close to make sure you heard him over the loud music. "when did you get here?"
"a minute ago," you responded flatly, the faint smell of alcohol filling your nostrils as gojo hugged you. he giggled softly and you rolled your eyes with a smile, knowing he was probably already tipsy.
"who are you looking for?" he asked, wiggling his eyebrows as he gave you a sultry look. "suguru?"
"no!" you denied, feeling your cheeks grow warm at the name. you averted your gaze, missing the way gojo's smile grew at your reaction. he guided you through the crowd and into the kitchen, coming to a stop when you saw shoko and geto leaning against the fridge.
"look who i found!" gojo proclaimed, pushing you in front of shoko and geto. shoko crowed your name with a smile, and you smiled back at her before glancing at geto. you froze slightly when you saw the way his eyes were trailing over your figure, taking in your outfit before his eyes settled on your face. there was a lazy smirk on his face as he nodded his head at you.
"hey," he greeted, his normal volume almost quiet in the loud room.
"hi," you replied, earning a groan from shoko. she walked forward, grasping gojo's arm before tugging him away.
"we're going outside," she announced, frowning when a noise of protest left gojo's lips. she flicked his forehead before glancing at you and geto, and a look of understanding fell across his face before he shut his mouth and followed after her without hesitation.
"you know," geto started, sighing as gojo disappears from sight. "something tells me they're not going outside."
"i feel compelled to agree," you grumbled, earning a chuckle from geto.
"i didn't think you were gonna come," he commented casually, turning to face you as you grabbed a bottle of water.
"oh you know," you said, shrugging half-heartedly as you took a sip. geto's eyes focused on your lips. "i go out occasionally."
"occasionally? why? got an overprotective boyfriend or something?" geto asked, his tone teasing as he repeats the same words he spoke when you first met. you grinned in response, putting your water bottle down on the counter as you crept closer to him.
"no, more like an overly comfy bed," you responded, your heart racing when he leaned down.
"i'm sure mine is comfier. i can show you, if you'd like."
"i would," you said, biting your lip when geto’s eyes widened. he paused briefly before slipping his hand into yours, pulling you out of the kitchen.
neither one of you noticed the way gojo and shoko exchanged a smug look as he led you upstairs.
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v.
all of those previous interactions with geto suguru culminated into the position you find yourself in now: in his bed.
a gasp leaves your lips as geto's hands trail underneath your shirt, pulling the fabric up and over your head with one hand as he fondles your breast with the other.
your hands tangle in his hair, pulling him closer as you give him a bruising kiss, feeling his hands slip behind your back to unhook your bra. a hiss leaves your lips as the cool air hits your nipples, and he immediately takes one into his mouth, warm tongue laving over your hardened nipple as you moan.
your hands tug at his shirt, and he separates himself from you briefly to take it off and toss it off to the side, his fingers immediately going down to his belt to undo it. your own hands tug at your pants, pulling your underwear along with it as you kick them off the bed.
geto freezes when he sees you sprawled on his bed, and he licks his lips before reaching our and grabbing your thighs, pulling you flush against his own before dipping a finger in between your folds.
"so wet and i haven't even touched you," he murmurs, enjoying the way you squirm at his touch. "all this for me?"
"yeah," you breathe, biting your lips when you notice geto's eyes darken. "all for you. i need you, geto."
"suguru," he corrects, fingers swirling around your clit as you gasp. "say it."
"need you, suguru," you whimper, watching him with rapt attention as he pumps himself a few times.
"are you sure?" he asks, watching the way you squeeze your eyes shut when the head of his cock brushes against your folds.
"i'm ready. i need you. i can take you."
geto breathes in sharply at your words, his eyes trained on your cunt as he pushes in slowly. you're perfect for him, your warm walls pulling him in as your face scrunches up with pleasure. a soft moan leaves your lips as he circles your clit, burying himself even further into you until his balls rest against your ass.
he remains still for a moment, getting used to feeling of you squeezing him until you start moving your hips against him.
"please move, suguru," you whine, your voice soft and needy in his ears.
"anything for you," he whispers, lowering himself down to kiss you as he intertwines a hand with yours. he swallows your moans as he pulls out, leaving only the tip in before thrusting into you at a harsher pace.
"feels good, suguru," you moan against his lips, your hand squeezing him as he picks up his pace.
"you feel so good, sweetheart," he whispers against your lips. "you're so tight. look at you, taking me so well."
you moan at his words, your cunt clenching around him as he praises you.
"been thinking about this since the night i met you," he confesses, burying his face into the crook of your neck. he lets go of your hand to grab your legs, placing them onto his shoulders as his thrusts get deeper. "i knew this pretty pussy would be perfect for me."
your hands grab at the bedsheets as he keeps a steady rhythms, and geto finds himself fascinated by the way your breasts bounce every time he thrusts into you. he watches as you arch after a particularly deep thrust, and he makes sure to repeat the motion, enjoying the way you mewl as he reaches the deepest parts inside of you.
"suguru!" you cry out, your legs trembling as his fingers tease your clit. "i-i'm close!"
"cum for me," he whispers, eyes focused on your face as you spasm around his cock. you moan softly as he keeps thrusting, helping you ride out your high before he pulls out. you're flipped onto your stomach before you can react, your legs trembling as you try to keep yourself up on all fours.
"do you think you can do that again for me, sweetheart," geto whispers into your ear, his lips trailing down the side of your neck as you nod. "lie down for me, yeah?"
you're squirming as you obey, your face down on the sheets as geto looms over you. his usual half-bun is messy and loose from your earlier tugging, and you can feel the long strands of silky hair tickling your shoulders. his hand feels heavy as it rests on the back of your neck, keeping you in place as the tip of his dick brushes against your clit. a breathy moan leaves your lips, and he smirks as he watches you, stilling momentarily before you feel the head of his cock prod at your folds once again.
you wiggle your hips in an effort to get him to move, whining softly as you try to turn back and look at him. he chuckles lowly, fingers brushing your hair away from your shoulder before he leans down to press a teasing kiss against it. he complies anyways, groaning as he sinks into you and enjoying the way your cunt seems to suck him in.
he wonders if you know that he could never possibly deny you anything.
"harder, suguru," you beg, clenching around him as he grinds into you. "please."
it isn't long until he gives in, rutting into you like it's the only thing he's good for, his balls slapping against your clit with each stroke and sending you into a state of frenzied euphoria. you can feel his hand pushing you down, your back arching obscenely as his other hand creeps between your thighs, skilled fingers expertly nudging at your clit.
"suguru, pleasepleaseplease," you gasp, wiggling your hips to try and get him to go faster. "more, please, i—"
geto knows. he knows exactly what your trying to tell him as he speeds up, the wet sounds of your cunt only spurring him on. there's a creamy ring at the base of his cock, and geto grabs at the fat of your ass in an attempt to stop himself from cumming right then and there.
"suguru!" you squeal, trembling underneath him. "i'm cumming!"
geto grins when you gush all over him, clear liquid spattering all over his abs and thighs, coating his dick and making it easier for him to slip in and out of you. he stills for a brief moment, a low grunt leaving him as he empties himself into you. you whimper softly when he pulls out, and he grabs your chin to tilt your face toward him, pressing a bruising kiss to your lips before leaning back.
"look at you, you did so good for me, gushing all prettily around my cock," he murmurs. he watches as you clench around nothing, his cum dripping down to your clit when you hear his words. he reaches forward to gather it all up, purposely teasing your clit to hear you moan once again.
he makes no complaint when you roll over and grab his hand, licking his fingers clean before wrapping your arms around his neck and pulling him down onto you. the two of you exchange lazy kisses before he rolls over, pulling you onto his chest before giving you a soft look.
"i like you," he says quietly, squeezing your waist as he gives you another kiss. "you know that, right?"
"mhm," you mumble tiredly. "i kinda guessed."
you press another kiss to his lips before resting your head on his chest. "i like you too."
"good," he chuckles, burying his face into your hair. "we should probably get cleaned up."
"yeah," you agree, making no move to get up. the two of you lay in silence for a few minutes, almost drifting off to sleep before you hear a loud knock on the door.
"hey!" gojo's voice is loud through the door. "congrats on the sex!"
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ty for reading <3 !!
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Text
Quid Pro Quo | Michael Gavey x fem!reader
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Summary: After being ditched by her friend at the Trinity College Christmas Party, she finds herself enthralled with learning the language of Michael Gavey | Word Count: 3.8k~ | Warnings below the cut!
Part Two: Carpe Diem Part Three: Veni, Vidi, Vici
warnings: virgin michael, semi-public sexual conduct, oral sex (m receiving), heavy petting
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If she has to listen to Professor Wardon swoon over Ancient Greek and how it ‘drove him to pursue his dreams in extending his passion to other students’, she thinks she might actually fall asleep.
She's in a good spot to do so, nestled between two other students, the one on her right seemingly just as bored as her, and conveniently hidden behind a tall, lanky first year, who sits straight, with his head perfectly obscuring hers as he fixes his posture regularly.
Several times throughout, she's checked her watch, and yet the second hand never seems to move an inch.
Professor Wardon is just about to go on a lovesick spiel about Homeric Greek when the lecture concludes with a heaved sigh from every student as they sling their hefty bags over their shoulders.
“Remember I want 2,500 words on Les Liaisons dangereuses in my pigeon hole by next Thursday, before your Christmas parties!” 
“Oh joy,” she sighs with a grin to the girl walking shoulder to shoulder beside her as they leave, feeling noticeably lighter knowing that that's their last lecture before Christmas break.
“Christ, you're telling me. I can't be arsed to even right my own name at the moment, nevermind read 18th century fucking French.”
She gives a snort in reply, “Merry Christmas to us, eh? Should do what the French do and have a revolution or something.”
“Yeah, eat our lecturers or something.”
“Alright, I wouldn't go that far.”
“Anyway, I'm off to T Library, see ya, have a good Christmas and don't do anything I wouldn't!”
She waves her off as her friend disappears, the cold air of the outside nipping at her skin that manages to sneak beneath her coat.
Oxford University is not what she imagined at all. She came here very much feeling like an outsider, like there'd been some sort of paperwork mistake and it was supposed to be someone else in her place. 
The imposter syndrome seemed difficult to shift, but she'd at least managed to make a couple of friends since starting in September.
Languages had always found her well, and seemingly the only thing she managed to actually understand. People were inconsistent, cruel and fickle. Languages, though they shifted and changed, were firmly rooted in reason and understanding. 
As sad as it sounded, conjugating verbs, vowel shifts and rare dialects were the one thing she found herself itching to discover more about. The idea that there was more to uncover seemed exciting and scary at the same time.
And Oxford University was the best place she could be to do that.
All that said, her eagerness to get involved with her studies had left her social life with much to be desired.
In the first two weeks of university alone, she'd gained one friend and lost a boyfriend. And while they were drifting apart anyway, it was still a relatively large blow to her self-esteem and her confidence to actually get out there, socialise and make the most of her first year of freedom.
The only friends she'd made were those on her course. Priya, who'd just abandoned her to stick her nose in books about the Great Vowel Shift, and Anya, who…to be honest, rarely left her room. Seeming more like a ghost than anything else.
It was a wonder she was still a student, with how often she missed classes.
What Anya does do best, is manage to somehow rise out of her pit to drag her to Christmas parties that aren't even run by their college.
Which is why she finds herself somehow at Trinity College campus, where she eyes several scantily clad women wearing revealing Santa costumes adorned with itchy tinsel.
Anya is the sort of girl who, well, every girl kind of wants to be. So much so she sort of wonders why she hangs around with her. She's pretty, fit and fucking clever. Her only downfall is her taste in men, so often being Oxford pretty boys.
So it is absolutely no surprise at all, when two jägerbombs in, Anya has somehow slipped into the arms of one aforementioned Oxford pretty boy, seeming in every way a clone of the previous, with the exception of the way he pairs his Ayia Nappa top with his low rise jeans and the only effort to conform to  theme, is a pair of plastic reindeer antlers on his head bobbling side to side.
She grimaces as she watches them suck each other's faces off in a dark corner of the room, ‘Stay Another Day’ by East 17 blaring with a cheap crackle through the speakers as she makes her way through the bodies to somewhere quiet.
She sighs, nursing the rum and coke Anya had sloppily poured her in one hand as she closes the door behind her, shutting out the drunken squeals and cheers for the peace of a quiet common room.
It's still decorated, she notes, but empty. Maybe she could lurk here until Anya is done, if she ever will be.
The deep clack of a pool ball being sucked into a socket makes her jump, realising perhaps that she was not actually alone, as she'd previously thought.
The cool light hung above the battered pool table illuminates his deep red jumper, and the first thing she sees is the way he leans on one leg, standing straight as if he was imitating the rigid pool cue leant before him. The yellow lined detailing around the cuffs highlights his small wrists and big hands that stretch from it as he rubs blue chalk onto the tip.
Her eyes trail up the back of his neck, past the lazy waves of dark blonde hair, clearly due a trim at some point, and to his face, even from this angle able to see how his features sit. With a sharp nose and jawline, and black skinny glasses perched above his cheekbones.
She almost laughs at the way he's almost as tall as the light that illuminates the table, half-thinking that she might never have seen such a strange and yet interesting looking guy.
“Didn't fancy the party?” she finally says, alerting him to her presence.
She doesn't quite expect the way the light bounces off his sharp features, sinking his blue eyes in shadow as his head turns to her with an expression of boredom.
“Not particularly, no.” 
His voice is lighter than she thought it would be and part of her wonders if he's putting it on. He presses his glasses further up his nose before assessing his next shot, stalking around the table.
“Why's that?”
This time, when he answers, he doesn't look at her. He simply leans down, and aims.
“Not. Fucking. Invited,” he replies bitterly, missing a yellow, “that's why.”
Her fingertips moisten against the glass as the ice begins to melt, but she pays it no mind.
“So you're lurking about in here instead.”
He plays with the cue in one hand, barely sparing a second glance, a bitter, quiet laugh escaping him.
He misses another red before he heaves a sigh, straightening to look at her again.
“You here alone as well?” he asks dispassionately.
She smiles lazily and shrugs.
“My mate is…a bit preoccupied, if you know what I mean,” she replies, taking an awkward sip of the now watered down drink, “like you, I don't really think these are my thing either.”
He seems to consider her statement for a moment.
“Why come then?”
She shrugs again, “trying to be sociable.”
“With those vapid cunts? Good luck getting any intelligent conversation out of them.”
She watches as he picks up the blue chalk again, applying more when he doesn't even need it in sort of a nervous gesture, his blue eyes averted and pretending to assess his next move.
There's something about him. How judgemental he is and how he forms his words. Perhaps she hadn't expected this sort of guy to be so outwardly honest with his opinions, and for the most part, she can't say she disagrees with the message, just the way in which he said it.
“Can I play?” She asks, leaning over to put her drink down.
“What are you reading?” He asks so suddenly, and out of context, that she does a double take.
She raises her eyebrows, smiling, “Does my answer depend on if I get to play or not?”
There's no answer from him. Shocker of the century.
“Modern Languages.”
“Fucking hell,” he groans.
She's a bit too happy and dizzy on rum to get defensive.
“Is that one of those subjects that sounds way less interesting than it actually ends up being?”
She gives a breathy laugh, “just like languages.”
He hums, as if the answer didn't impress him, “more of a science and numbers man myself, obviously.”
For a moment, it's lost on her why it's obvious.
He takes a sip of his, no doubt, stale beer, wetting his lips after, “Your name is?”
She narrows her eyes teasingly, smiling as she leans against the table, “quid pro quo.”
She enjoys the brief confusion on his face, before he realises what she's said.
“Okay, okay, Michael.”
She smiles, “See? You know what that meant. Who says you're not a languages man?”
It's the first time he seems to duck his head, hiding a blush she's barely able to see.
“I don’t think the Ancient Roman idea of fair exchange warrants the title of ‘languages man’.” 
The blue chalk comes off on his hands as he fiddles nervously with it.
“So, am I bestowed the privilege of playing?”
He raises his head, and she can tell he's trying his damndest to not let a little beer-induced smile pass his lips.
“I suppose I could allow you to embarrass yourself in front of me for a bit, if you insist. We'll have to share a cue though.”
She doesn't have the heart to tell him her uncle was a pool player, and so by extension, has played pool for most of her upbringing. Rather, he finds out himself when she pots three yellows in a row.
It's either the alcohol or pity that kicks in when she misses the fourth, holding the cue for him to take.
“You being good at pool wasn't on my bingo card,” he mutters with some nervous teasing in his voice.
They go back and forth for a bit, missing some, potting some, with interspersed conversation between. 
“Thought you might have been a Norman-no -mates, like me,” he says quietly as he watches her assess her next shot. Bending to aim.
“You're not far off,” she replies, “first fortnight I was down a boyfriend. Since then, I've only been up two friends and one of them is in the other room  having ditched me for the shag of a lifetime.”
She doesn't see it until after she takes the shot, the way his eyes flit back to hers quickly as she rights herself to stand.
Was he checking me out?
As if he was lagging, he only laughs now at what she's said.
“What about you?” She asks, “no girls, or boys, on the scene?”
He blushes a lot when she asks that. And she can't help the fluttering in her chest she feels that someone might find her attractive.
“Can’t say there is.”
She stands close, passing the cue to him, electricity warming her fingertips as she grazes his.
“And why not?”
He scoffs bitterly, “have you seen me?” he mutters, wandering around the table, suddenly unable to shake the feeling of her gaze, “Not too many girls out there looking for the stereotypical nerdy math boy, really.”
“Hm,” she hums, “how unfortunate for them.”
He sinks a red, picking at his red jumper.
“Yeah, they're clearly missing out, huh?”
The bitter and self-deprecating tone of his voice makes her heart sink a bit. He's not a bad looking guy, she thinks. His style, glasses, hair, she would almost say look actually quite cute.
Maybe that's the thing he doesn't like.
“No interest? Or is maths the only one for you?”
He misses the next shot and sighs, holding the cue for her to take, “clearly, the only one I need.”
She steps close to retrieve, taking her time, looking up at him as she does. At this proximity, Michael sucks in a breath quietly, his lips, which she can't say she'd noticed until right this moment, parting and his Adam's apple bobbing as his eyes flit rapidly down her.
A warmth swirls in her gut at that.
She circles the table, “what about in the past?” 
He leans against the other side, his hand on the cushion, long fingers splayed on the green fabric. She has to shake her head to break her own trance.
“Can’t say my love life has exactly been a roaring success, honestly.”
The way he says it.
She wouldn't be surprised if he was…
Oh.
“So what? You're focussed on your studies?”
She misses. Too set on the conversation rather than the game.
He gives a mirthless laugh, “Sure.”
She rounds the table, holding the cue for him to take, but when he reaches for it, she pulls back with a smirk.
“So we've established you're not one for languages,” she starts, and Michael furrows his brows in confusion, “have you ever really asked for what you want? Ever?”
He seems to miss what she's trying to say.
“Have you been with a girl?”
At that, his eyes widen slightly, a blush crawling up his neck to the tips of his ears, cheeks near matching his shirt.
She knows she has her answer.
“Well…I…no, I haven't…”
At chest height, she can see the way his breathing elevates.
“And, hypothetically, if a girl expressed interest. What would you say?”
His lips part for a good few seconds before he gives a reply, “I’d…I um…I guess it depends who…”
It's like he's afraid she'll make fun of him for it. 
“What about, if it was me?” She asks, her voice lowering as she reaches out to pick some lint off his jumper, like it's the most normal thing in the world. His body goes all rigid as she does.
This isn't normal in his world.
Michael swallows thickly, “you're not taking the Mick out of me, are you?”
She shakes her head, “I just want you to feel comfortable asking for what you want.”
For someone who had so often thought about it, now when faced with the situation, he feels as if he doesn't know what to do or say.
She's still stood with the cue in one hand, close enough so that when she shifts her weight from foot to foot, her knee grazes his leg. It's interesting to watch him think so deeply about it. Convinced he's probably never thought of anything so much in his life.
“What if what I want is…you?”
The tension deepens like the tone and volume of his voice. And without effort, a smile finds its way to her face when she looks at his expression. He's frozen stiff, for once, not knowing what to say.
So nothing shocks her more when he grabs the pool cue as a means of pulling her to him, and he has to duck considerably to press his lips clumsily to hers. He's eager, that much is true, but it's clear he's inexperienced. But instead of causing discomfort, she thinks it's quite endearing.
The pool cue clangs to the floor as she braces her hands on his shoulders and chest, guiding his lips with her own in a slower, more careful movement. She feels the edge of the pool table bite into her lower back when he presses her against it, clearly excited, if the hardness that's flush to her stomach is anything to go by.
The hands she had been staring at not half an hour ago are bruising as they trace her waist and hips, with a grip tight enough to tell her exactly how much he's enjoying the experience.
For a moment, they're not in a common room alone, against a pool table, with ‘Cheetah-licious Christmas’ playing in the room over, the bass of which rumbles through the floor and into their chests.
The kiss lasts a long while, and she has a feeling he wants to savour it as if it's the last time he will ever be able to do it. 
One of her hands snakes its way to the back of his head, fingers gripping at his hair to pull him closer as either of them tilt to aid more contact between them. And at the little amount of tugging, Michael whines into her mouth, prompting him to pull away.
He looks halfway between mortified and pleased, his glasses having skewed to one side with the eagerness of what they'd done. And she laughs a bit, reaching up to fix them, which seems to make the mortification fade somewhat from his face.
Michael looks down between them, where his obvious erection is pressed to her, and pulls away slightly with a scarlet blush.
“Shit - sorry-”
“It's fine,” she reassures, “no need to be embarrassed.”
The words alone would be enough, if her hand hadn't snaked between their bodies to brush her palm over him. And if it were possible, his flush spreads to his neck, words failing him once more.
Her eyes flicker up to his, their lips all kiss-bruised and swollen.
“If you don't want to-”
“No, no, I want to…” he says, immediately embarrassed about how quick it was.
She smiles, one hand palming him through his jeans and the other trailing up his chest, “Sit down.”
He backs up to sit on a nearby sofa, watching with a kind of adoration as she makes space between his legs, her eyes glimmering at him as she slowly undoes his belt.
“If at any time, you need to stop, tell me.”
He gives a nervous laugh, his stomach muscles tightening, wondering probably if this is really happening to him, “Not sure I will want to…”
She smiles reassuringly, watching as his lips part as she palms him through his boxers, trying to suppress how impressed she is with his size.
It's always the skinny white guys.
“Well, the offer's there.” She smirks, pulling him from his boxers, Michael gives a suffered breath, feeling her touch on him and also her breath so close. He almost feels dizzy. The thought of this happening in this situation, with a party going on next door, is dangerous and exciting in equal measure.
She knows he has very limited experience, so decides not to tease him too much.
Michael gasps softly as she licks at the base of him, drawing a wet line with her tongue along the vein underneath, all the way to the tip. She concentrates her efforts slightly on the sensitive spot there before closing her mouth over the head of his cock, sucking gently.
She feels the way his thighs tense, and the blue disappearing as he closes his eyes. His fists are tight beside him, knuckles white, like he doesn't know if he should touch her or not. All he knows right now is that this feeling is brand new, and the sensation is so much already.
She pulls herself from him to run her tongue over his length, one hand moving to his hand, to encourage him. His blue eyes crack open just a bit, to understand what she's trying to tell him.
And she fights the urge to smile as his longer fingers swipe across her temple into her hair, his touch tender, soft and unsure as he holds her by it. 
Her lips wrap around him once more, pushing him further into her mouth, taking him steadily and slowly at first. Michael's hips move barely, chasing the friction that he's getting on his cock when she bobs her head on him and hollows her cheeks.
He watches with parted lips and warm cheeks, moving her hair away so he can watch himself disappear into her mouth over and over. Her hand massages the rest of him, giving him two unique sensations in one, something that earns her a deep, throaty moan.
When her eyes open to look at him, he thinks his heart stops in his chest for a split second. He closes his eyes, not able to bear the way she looks with his cock in her mouth if she looks right at him, feeling that if he did any longer he wouldn't last.
The sounds he emits don't stop there as she increases her pace on him, pressing her tongue to the underside of him and taking him deeper into her throat, humming around him at the heady scent of his skin.
It's only when she takes him as far as he will go, working hard to control her gag reflex that he gives the first genuine buck of his hips, tightening in her hair and a far-too-loud moan. If anyone in the next room were quiet and paying attention, they'd likely know exactly what was going on.
“Fuck-”
It only serves to spur her on as she pulls back, moving in a more steady, quick rhythm, that she is sure Michael is loving judging by the rate of his moans and the way he chokes out his words.
His stomach clenches and unclenches, his high creeping up on him as her mouth tightens around his length. 
“Shit - you need to - I'm gonna -” he chokes, weakly tugging her hair in an effort to pull her mouth off him before he cums.
If she didn't have his cock in her mouth she'd smile.
Her hand squeezes the base of him, and Michael throws his head back slightly, a long shuddered and choked moan reverberating through his chest. She swears she feels his thighs shake as she stills, warm ropes of his cum taste musky at the back of her throat.
His loud moan is followed quickly by more softer ones as her throat contracts to swallow as much as she can, briefly increasing the tension and friction around his sensitive length.
When she pulls off him with a pleased sigh, wiping her mouth with the back of her hand, Michael sits up slightly, having to gather his breath.
“Fucking hell…”
She takes it as a compliment and rises to her feet, her hands smoothing her skirt back down.
And she squeaks in delight as Michael quickly tucks himself away, barely doing up his jeans buttons before backing her up to the pool table again, kissing her fervently.
“What about you…do I…” he starts when he breaks away, panting softly. She smiles at the notion but shakes her head. This experience was for him alone.
“Not right now, don't feel inclined to,” she reassured, her hands on his chest, feeling the way his heart is beating rapidly beneath it.
“Right now?” he asks with a quiet, unsure tone, “does that mean…there's gonna be a next time?”
His tone is careful, and yet, she is able to detect something like desire there. An excitement for more, without seeming too eager so that he's not let down if she says no. Something that makes it clear he is 100% on board.
She bites back a grin.
“Quid Pro Quo, Michael.”
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zeldasnotes · 18 days
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ASTRO OBSERVATIONS 34 👽
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Im obsessed with Fama(408) Persona Charts they will tell you sooo much! For example the microbiologist Alexander Fleming whos known for his discovery of penicillin, which started the antibiotic revolution. He got asteroid Aesculapia(1027) (Aesculapius was the god of medicine) conjunct Ascendant in his Fama Persona Chart.
There is nothing like the eyecontact between you and the person you have Pluto conjunct Ascendant in the composite chart with. 🥵
Dejanira(157) is a very sad asteroid but when its conjunct a planet like Mars it can make a person refuse to be a victim. It can make someone fight back hard even at the slightest sign of being victimized.
People with Venus Conjunct Chiron usually blow up and become extremely famous because people have a sensitive (Chiron) reaction to their beauty(Venus). For example: Sydney Sweeney, Ice Spice, Ana De Armas, Marilyn Monroe.
Check asteroid Spirit(37452) & Psyche(16) for a deeper understanding of yourself. 🔮
One thing Ive noticed with my Lilith 3rd house friend is that shes good with coming up with something to say FAST. If she sees that someone have a hard time answering something or that someone is embarressing someone she will quickly jump in and fix the situation to help that person.
Venus sextile Ascendant is an underrated aspect. These people seem to be able to turn their charm on and off. Ive also noticed it to be a natural beauty indicator. They have the Venus qualities without the vanity.
As someone with Moon in the 11th house I dont get how people can exist without social media. And Ive noticed this with other 11th house Moons too.
Sun conjunct Lilith & Leo Lilith can indicate a weird relationship with attention. They NEED it but for the wrong reasons. Might do weird or shocking things for shockfactor. Might be jealous of people who get too much attention. But some people with this placement (especially if they have 10th house placements) can get wayyyy too much attention to the point its scary, for example Kim Kardashian & Britney Spears.
Batsheba(592) conjunct Sun/Ascendant might experience being pursued a lot and aggressively.
I dont think Ive ever gotten so much attention from men as the year I had Venus in the 10th house in the solar return chart and transit Lilith conjunct my natal Ascendant. It was crazy.
Im not shocked by P Diddy having Karma(3811) conjunct Mars in his chart. If you have this aspect Karma might take her time but WHEN she comes, she means business.
Nadherna(5089) = beautiful, gorgeous, splendid, magnificent in czech.💋✨
Lilith in the 8th house might see powerstruggles in everything bc of a subconscious fear or being powerless. Might have been put in a scary situation in their childhood where they had no control.
Venus 6th house makes me think of ”everything showers” and those accounts who post their matching showerscrubs and body lotions.🧼
I also love how people with 6th house placements especially Venus 6th house can make something fun and exciting of a mundane task. Makes life so much more enjoyable.
Tiktoker and model Kenz Lawren have Lilith in the 10th house which is probably why she challenges the model industry so much (which I love). Shes also a Scorpio Rising with Venus in the 8th house so she loves to show the raw truth instead of hiding all flaws. 👑
Neptune/Moon 1st housers yall need to learn to protect your energy. Dont go to certain places if you feel uncomfortable there. Dont let people tell you ”just go there” because your energy is so much more sensitive. Its not being ”weak” its protecting your peace. Im not saying yall should lay in bed all day but if nightclubs makes you uncomfortable bc of all the noise and strangers then dont let people call you boring for not going there.
If you have Chiron in the 9th house people might constantly be on your back about your cultural background. For example Jessica Alba who have this placement and she said shes been told shes too latina for certain roles and too white for the latina roles etc. Hollywood was constantly nitpicking everything she did during her prime to make it look like she disliked other mexicans no matter what she did. She also have Mars in the 9th house which I think makes it worse.
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whatbigotspost · 11 months
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Every time I hear someone much older than me talking about how their shame about their bodies and weight have robbed them of all kinds of fun experiences and simple joys and delights in life, it breaks my fucking heart. Older women, in particular, have been shamed into and forced into (and perpetuated themselves) so many stupid narratives about what one "can't do" if you look a certain way. Sometimes they don't even notice it...they'll just casually be saying something like, "I would have loved to play volleyball back in school but this big ass wasn't going to look right in those shorts tee hee" and I'm like that's??? actually??? tragic???????? Especially when it's something they COULD still pursue or try but they've got a fixed mindset about it.
My 84 year old aunt really spent all of her 30s-60s believing that she COULDN'T just put on a swimsuit and enjoy the water in the summer. I have so many memories of this mindset affecting her all summer. Just casually existing by a pool in a swimsuit was something that women who looked like her Could Not Do. This is someone who broke so many gender barriers in her field, who was a pioneer and a bad ass, but who held herself back from something she truly enjoyed for DECADES because she's fat. A couple of years ago she told me how stupid she feels having thought like that now that her age has changed her mobility and safety in going to a pool and it's no longer literally possible for her to do so.
She bought the bullshit and deprived herself of happiness when it was possible, so she lost her chance at hundreds of moments of simple enjoyment she now looks back on sadly.
Really sadly.
I think this is a topic where we can literally see a huge generational change among society right now. The bitchy boomer who says something like, "oh she should NOT be wearing that" when a happy, chunky Gen Zer bops by in a crop top sounds like the death rattles of an ancient relic to most of us in younger generations. After we get over the overt hate that surges when we hear things like that, most of us can see right through that prickly exterior into the deeply damaged, sad, and vulnerable person inside who is the one that's the real problem in the equation.
And yet, while it can be easy to think, "Thank god I'm not like THAT" none of us are truly immune to the messages that are blasted in our faces all the time that still shame fatness and make us feel like we owe society a certain kind of "beauty."
Just keep an eye out for any limiting beliefs you have that are depriving you from joy and delight you want and need. As anyone like my aunt could tell you, you won't someday look back and think, "I sure am glad I didn't do what made me happy all those years!"
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qdbs-writes · 8 months
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How do you think the Cullens would act around a disinterested crush? Maybe they're fated but reader isn't having it lol
(I love your twilight writing btw thank God someone is still doing it 🤤🤤)
ah it has been many moons since I've gotten a twilight request yay!
Cullen Clan Reacting To Their Crush Being Disinterested In Them
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Carlisle Cullen
Being alive for just over 400 years tends to give one a good perspective on life and the bigger picture, and Carlisle sure has a pretty good idea of how all things pan out. So you're not interested in him? That's fine, Carlisle can wait for as long as you need to change your mind.
In the meantime, Carlisle will continue to maintain your friendship and continue to show just how hard he's worked to become the kind caring father figure he is. He knows you'll fall for him, eventually.
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Esme Cullen
Obviously, she's not going to stop caring about you just because you don't return her feelings. But she might switch up how she shows her affection.
Rather than flirty winks and suspiciously candle-lit wine tastings, she'll back up to more traditionally motherly affections. Making sure you're eating right, baking cookies, etc. And of course, giving you homemade soup when you're sick is still one of her favourite things to do, no need to stop now.
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Edward Cullen
Of course, you're not interested, how could anyone love a monster like him? Who did he think he was, thinking he was worthy of your love? Or so his inner monologue goes.
But it's really not that dramatic, it almost never is, Edward just sprung his crush on you suddenly and it caught you off guard. It was largely the excessively long preamble about how he was an irredeemable murderer that put you off first, but of course, he won't realise that until considerably later.
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Rosalie Hale
She's a little relieved actually. All her mortal and immortal life, Rosalie has been aggressively pursued by people she wasn't particularly interested in, so the fact that she can crush on someone who isn't really that interested is a wonderful change of pace.
For the first time ever, Rosalie has butterflies in her stomach, she fumbles with her words when she speaks to you, and she feels like a silly, mortal teenage girl again, begging her mother to let her go to the dance just so she can sneak away to catch a glimpse of someone just like you.
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Emmett Cullen
You and Emmett had been good friends for a while so when he casually drops a blissful "We should get married" into the conversation, you initially choke on your drink in laughter.
Emmett's a little heartbroken that you'd laugh at something like that, considering that he was being 100% serious. But since you've known him, the both of you have been constantly cracking up jokes, trying to get on each other's nerves, so no wonder you thought this was another one of his pranks. He decides to take this reaction as a blessing, you have no idea he's actually into you, now he knows he has to work out a different way to confess his feelings for you.
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Alice Cullen
She's a little confused obviously, having multiple visions of the two of you in a romantic relationship kind of gave her the impression that it might've been going to come true, but your disinterest says something else altogether.
But the worst part is that those damn visions of you and her together keep coming back, taunting her, luring her in deeper to despair with the thoughts of what might be. It's all getting so intense, so she decides to skip town for a bit, see if that changes anything, or at least helps her clear her head.
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Jasper Hale
Oh well, so you're not interested in a romantic relationship, so what? Doesn't mean you can't still be friends. Doesn't mean he can't be the charming Southern gentleman he is. Doesn't mean he can't still pull out chairs or open doors for you. Or send anonymous bouquets to your house. Or leave your favourite snacks in your locker when you're having a rough day. Of course not.
It doesn't mean he can't worry about other people who might want to date you. Doesn't mean he can't scare off people who'd be bad for you. I mean, what else are friends for?
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yumeka-sxf · 1 month
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New chapter today, and even though most of it seemed to continue the silly tone from the previous one, the last few pages actually shocked me! 👀
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For the first time, ANYA CONFESSED TO SOMEONE THAT SHE CAN READ MINDS! Now this doesn't necessarily mean anything crazy will happen in the series from now on, since Damian doesn't believe her (at first). But proving that you can read minds is easy to do, so the question now becomes, will Anya keep trying to prove it to Damian until he believes her? Or will she regret it later and not try to prove it, and then the plot point isn't touched on again? Regardless, this chapter definitely makes it seem like Damian will be the first person to know about her mind-reading powers.
Then there's the question of why Anya chose to confess this to Damian? I think it's a combination of a few reasons, the main one being that Damian doesn't have any connection to her family, so little risk of him telling them and thus bringing about the fear of abandonment Anya has should they find out. This might also be why she chose to tell him over Becky, since Becky already has somewhat of a relationship with Loid and Yor. The other reason could be that, as time has gone on, she's learned to trust him, at least when it comes to something like this. As hostile as he is towards her, she knows that he's not a double-crosser or a blabbermouth, and deep down he wants to do what's right. And lastly, it was the heat of a moment - her knowledge about him seemed weird so he questioned it, and perhaps at that highlighted moment, when Damian was being genuinely nice to her (since she can read minds, she knows if he's being genuine or not), she wanted to try not lying for once, just to see what happens.
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Guess we'll have to wait until next time to see if anything ground-breaking comes from this...will Anya keep pursuing this, will she regret it and let Damian continue to not believe her, or will it just not be mentioned again until later? This reminded me a bit of the Mole Hunt arc where Yuri became suspicious of Loid, but the latter was able to throw him off the track. But the seed of suspicious was planted nonetheless. In this case, even if Damian continues to think Anya was lying, a seed of suspicion may have been planted in him too that could come into play much later on. We'll see!
But besides this big event, a few other notable things in this chapter was super rare soft Damian from the above page. This continues to prove what I've always thought - that Damian acts the way he does to appear "proper" in front of his peers, but when he's alone with Anya, his real feelings seep out. She's a rare person where he doesn't feel the need to put on airs around.
We also got more Henderson x Martha crumbs. Love to see it.
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Also loved to see Anya getting cocky and Loid freaking out about it 😅
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Overall, even though I'm not as into Damianya as I am Twiyor, I still enjoy seeing their progress, and this chapter was definitely one of the most Damianya-chapters of all~ Despite some of the "dance with Damian" challenges being a bit too silly for my taste (like, how did Emile and Ewen organize all that last minute?) the payoff at the end was worth it! Loid and Yor better get themselves together or their daughter will end up beating them in the romance department 😂
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daybrightsims · 2 months
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Alright, they've lived in my brain too long; Time to air out my thoughts about the polyamory in BG3
To give a little context: I am currently ethically non-monogamous with my primary partner of almost 7 years. I am not a monolith of thought when it comes to polyamory/ENM/open relationships. These are my own personal thoughts and feelings. I've also completed the game with Astarion and Halsin romanced. Spoilers ahead, read at your own risk.
TL;DR - I don't share the current opinion of whether or not Astarion is okay with Tav pursuing Halsin and the discourse around his agency and choices in the relationship are bumming me out and frustrating me.
I am getting increasingly frustrated about the conversation about Astarion being polyamorous/okay with Tav being with Halsin in the game, primarily because I think a lot of the "think pieces" are coming from 1) monogamous people who have only ever been monogamous, 2) monogamous people who have been burned/cheated on/forced into polyamory by a partner (I feel for ya'll, that wasn't okay), 3) people who are very VERY protective of Astarion, and 4) people who are blatantly uncomfortable with polyamory. My goal is not to invalidate anyone's experiences, but to share an alternate perspective.
I do think that Astarion is not only okay, but happy with Tav dating Halsin. I glean this from how he responds to being poly with ANY OTHER companion. If you ask him to share with literally anyone else, he will say no and give his reason.
Gale: He doesn’t want to be in a love triangle (which with Gale, it would be).
Lae’zel: He’s uncomfortable and Lae’zel would kill him (also true).
Wyll: He knows Wyll is old fashioned and monogamous.
Karlach: He knows Karlach’s feelings for you are strong and he doesn’t want to stand in the way of that (he even says he’d be cool with an arrangement but knows Karlach will need all of your affection based on what she’s been through).
Shadowheart: He would be cool IF Shadowheart had more experience and ya’ll were together longer. But he knows Shadowheart is fragile in her current state.
Minthara: He REALLY doesn’t like this idea and will dump you immediately.
I did also see that ***SPOILER*** they updated or are updating some of the spawn Astarion language to have issues with your affair with Mizora should you pursue it, and it requires a persuasion/deception role to keep you two together.
Up to this point in your relationship with Astarion, he has become more comfortable voicing his opinions and concerns with you. He is learning to value his autonomy and his non-physical relationships. He will tell you when he doesn’t want to do something. In fact, he’ll break up with you over pushing his boundaries. He is fine with you pursuing the Drow twins and fine with you sleeping with Haarlep, even comforts you when Haarlep uses your form. So when he says he is okay with you pursuing Halsin, he means it. Yes, he voices his insecurity with you that you may be pursuing Halsin because you and he haven’t had sex in a while. But he acknowledges that Halsin has experience in this arrangement and doesn’t pose a threat to your relationship. Plus, if you kiss Halsin in front of him, he’ll say “don’t mind me, I’m just enjoying the show.”
To me, the idea that this is the ONE thing that Astarion doesn't have agency over in an arc of showing he can speak up for himself is you sleeping with Halsin is an idea that takes more agency from Astarion. He is a grown man. A 240 YEAR OLD man. That trauma he's endured does not mean he needs to be babied or coddled because he can't make his own choices. I think that's an unfair assumption to put on him that Halsin and Tav being together is the ONLY thing he can't enforce his boundaries on.
If he didn't want you to be with Halsin, he would say no like every other monogamous character in the game.
If you want a good example of someone saying yes just because they want to keep you, look at Karlach. You can tell she is HEARTBROKEN when you ask her, but she says “I don’t want to lose you”. That is not an enthusiastic participant in a polyamorous relationship. Astarion says “yeah, go for it! Just give me some reassurance”. Polyamory is not immune to insecurity. I've asked for reassurance in my own relationships and so has my primary partner. That’s not unenthusiastic. That’s realistic as shit. If you ask him about the relationship after you finish his questline, he doesn’t need reassurance because you’re having sex again. That’s also super realistic.
Am I sensitive to this as someone who practices ENM? Almost certainly. It's hard to see a lifestyle I live be villainized and claimed to be "forced" onto characters. I was actually really excited that I could pursue both Astarion and Halsin, and that Halsin places so much importance on consent and not misleading your partner. And it sucks SOO much to see one of my favorite characters be reduced to "oh, he's only doing it because he's afraid to lose Tav." It makes me almost feel bad for liking the interactions between them and enjoying to option. Do I think people mean to make me or other poly people feel bad? No.
But it does.
Headcanons are headcanons. I get it. People are absolutely allowed to interpret the poly aspect of BG3 how they want to. People are allowed to feel uncomfy with how it's portrayed and not pursue it. But it still bums a queer ENM Astarion and Halsin lover out.
Now excuse me whilst I live out my Astarion x Halsin x Tav polycule fantasies in the form of fanfiction.
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yorsgirl · 14 days
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Perfect Choice
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Ryomen Sukuna x Fem!Reader
Synopsis: Sukuna didn't know getting you as his girlfriend would mean he had to step up and watch you try on a hundred dresses.
OR
In which you take Sukuna for dress shopping.
Tropes: Fluff, Established relationship
Warnings: No Curse AU, Human!Sukuna, Sukuna is Sukuna, healthy relationship, kinda OOC, usage of nicknames, no mentions of y/n.
Word count: 2.7k
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Sukuna didn't sign up for this.
Watching you choose through a rack of dresses wasn't on his list of fun things. It was a chore, at most. He'd much rather be sitting before his PC with his headphones on and play COD than be standing in a fashion boutique.
"Aww c'mon, don't make that face now," You stifle the urge to chuckle at his obviously irritated expression.
He rolls his eyes, pushing his hand in his pocket. He should have never agreed to accompany you in your little find the right dress expedition.
And he would have said no, if only you didn't conjure your eyes into one of the cutest baby faces while jutting out your lower lip. On top of that, you had to go with the little – Please, at the end.
How could he not give in?
God, he was weak in front of that expression. Not that he'll ever admit it out loud. But he thinks, you already know that.
"Would you like to try that on, Ma'am?" An attendant approaches the both of you, gesturing to the dress you have in hand.
You pursue your lips and nod, "Yes but I would like to see some more."
"May I know the type of dress you require?"
"An evening gown," You knit your eyebrows but keep the smile. "Its a formal party so if you could..." You trail off and the attendant gets the message as she points the trial room for you and leaves to get some more dress which you can try.
"When will this end?" Sukuna sighs and mutters under his breath.
"When I find my dress, come." You turn on your heels and start walking.
"Why should I?" He asks exasparately.
"Don't you want to see me try them on?"
"I don't care."
"Well, too bad." You give him a sheepish smile. "You have to. Now, follow." You command, skipping over to the trial rooms to which he grumbles something under his breath but follows regardless.
There are four trial rooms, each one has a stool with multiple hooks on the left wall and two full length mirrors. Outside, a small yet broad lane passes before them with a common full length mirror situated on one wall. Opposite to which there is a white couch.
Good for both of you, its a weekday so there isn't much rush and the trial rooms are free. The attendant returns with a few other dresses, hangs them up in a room and leaves.
You look at Sukuna, "Just cause you agreed to come, I will let you have the first pick." You point to the flurry of dresses hanging on the hooks.
Pick a dress? Like he knows anything about them in the first place. His crimson eyes flicker with annoyance as they narrow, "Just wear whatever you want, woman."
"I will wear whatever you pick." You say confidently and his lip twitches but he doesn't let the smirk show yet.
"I don't know shit about your shitty dresses."
"Then you'll learn something, today." You tease which earns you a scowl from him. "Pick one."
He groans, momentarily glancing up at the ceiling then turning to the dresses. He doesn't even take two seconds before pointing the one at center.
"Orange?"
"Yes."
"Fine," With a smile on your face, you enter the trial room and start to get changed.
He sighs and sits down on the couch. It'd be a long day but at least he gets to sit.
Sukuna wants to laugh. Previously, he wouldn't have taken a second look at these stores and now he is waiting for you to get changed in any of them and put on a show for him.
Just what have you reduced him into? He swears, you are a witch behind that pretty facade.
Three minutes later, he hears the door being unlocked. You come out and you are... glaring at him.
"Your choice sucks." You declare as soon as you step out of the trial room.
Sukuna has to stifle the snort on the brink of his lips. He obviously didn't care while making the pick and its showing. You are wearing the orange dress he chose and it's a clear indication that it's a - No. With a large bow on the black waistband and the number of layers of skirt, it looks like you are inflated.
But your fury is amusing so he retorts back, "You're my choice."
"Yeah, the only place it did not suck."  You shoot back and march inside the trial room without waiting for his response. Finally, he can let out the snicker.
You come out a few minutes later wearing a green dress. You take a spin, "So?"
"Add feathers and wings, you can cosplay a parrot." He mocks.
"Still better than your pick."
"Really? You are picking this?" He raises an eyebrow, you stay silent and walk back into the trial room. The answer is clear. No.
You come out wearing another one, its got a white bodice, a pink belt and a dark (he doesn't know what exactly it is except it looks like the middle color between grey and blue) skirt. The conclusion is apparent: it's hideous.
"And you got the nerve to say my choice sucks?" He lips curl up into a smirk and you glare at him.
"We all have our moments." You shrug, taking a twirl in it. Looking at your reflection, you grunt, "God, I look ugly."
"The dress is ugly," He corrects, leaning back on the couch, just then the attendant returns. His eyes move to her, lips curving down in a disapproving grin. "What are you, blind?
"Sor–"
"Does your choice range from a grandma to clowns?" He remarks with a roll of his eyes.
"Sukuna!" You exclaim in panic. Forcing a smile on your lips, you glance at the attendant. "Ah- sorry, he didn't mean that..."
"Of course I di–"
"We'd see something in different style," You say before your boyfriend can run his mouth. You shoot him a glare and he shoots back another.
Keep your mouth shut.
No.
Yes.
Try me.
It's like you are communicating with eyes alone and a grin stretches on his lips and boy... that isn't good news. He is again about to say something but you speak first.
"Can you bring us something more modern and maybe... formal?"
"As you say, ma'am." The attendant answers politely, walking out of the room.
You shoot Sukuna a scowl, "Are you crazy?"
"I call it honesty." He says with conviction. "Don't tell me you really liked any one of these shits."
He may not be a dress expert but he knows a good outfit when he sees one and among the ones you tried on, they are level below of what is considered good.
He knows he's right, your frown shows as you shake your head.
You again vanish into the changing room, the attendant arrives with a few more dresses for you before leaving you two alone again.
"I'll be quick."
He hears you from inside and he wants to say - make it quicker, but he can't. The last thing he wants is you sulking all day cause you couldn't find your perfect dress. And even though, you wouldn't bother him but he will be bothered just by looking at that expression.
"Take your time, I am here."
You don't answer but he thinks you have heard him. For the next fifteen minutes, you try on a few dresses. They are better than the first three, still not up to the mark. Either mobility is a problem or the fabric being tight around certain areas or the color being unflattering.
Sukuna has his phone out and he is scrolling through his messages when he hears you curse from the trial room (his ears are sharp).
"What happened?" He asks, standing up from the couch.
"This is... bad."
"How much?"
"Borderline stripper."
That catches his interest, his eyebrow twitches. Would something really that revealing be in a fashion boutique? Considering, its one of the posh stores in city, the chances are slim.
"Can't be."
"It is," You quickly reply.
"Prove me wrong then," He adds, crossing his hands over his chest. "Come out."
You don't speak for a minute and he opens his mouth but you croak out a, "come here." Sukuna obliges quickly, standing before your door when the lock turns and he sees you.
It's like all his blood ran down to his manhood.
You are wearing a black full sleeved dress. The color is flattering. And it would have been fine if it was just that but it isn't.
The V neckline runs too deep to the end of your chest, revealing your skin and your side breasts. A shimmering belt adorns your waist, a slit emerges from your right thigh giving him the full view of your exposed leg.
Sukuna could feel his throat going dry and stomach tightening. His finger twitches and he wants to feel your skin on his. He swallows a lump, trying to keep himself from staring at your tits which would have spilled out if not for the tight fabric (as if that does any good either as it only sticks to you as a second skin). He tears his eyes off the cleavage window, returning to your face.
"And?"
And what? This is a no. He wants to say that.
The dress itself isn't bad and you look good in it. But its too revealing and he's too much of a selfish man to let the lust filled eyes of those shitheads from campus wander on your body.
No, that's not permeable. No way in hell is he going to let others see you in that way.
He clears his throat and answers, "If you want everyone looking at your chest then go on."
"Told you, its bad." You place your hand on your waist and lean a bit forward. He has to resist his eyes from wandering below to your breasts and cleavage which is accentuated by your new pose.
A fire alights in his body and his thoughts are flickering to a direction he doesn't want them to. Still, the temptation of running his fingertips on your– NO.
He shakes his head. "Remove this dress."
You need to remove this dress. He needs you out of this dress.
He pauses before quickly adding, "change into another."
Yeah, that's what he meant, obviously. You need to change into another dress.
You nod and pivot around, he is trying not to stare at your the curve of your ass. You push your hair to one side, glancing at him from the periphery. "Can you uh... can you unzip it? The sleeves are tight."
The dress was already enough of a problem, now your insane request.
He complies wordlessly. Each second feels like eternity to him, your zipper comes down in a agonizing slow pace. And he has to refrain himself from pressing his lips on your nape.
He steps away from the room as the door closes. He clenches his fist and curses under his breath, "Fuck..."
"I'll take a trip to the washroom." He shouts to let you know and is stomping out before you can answer.
He doesn't realize that his face is red and he is sweating until he reaches the stalls.
.
Now you are staring at yourself on the common mirror of the lane.
A pink gown reaching till your ankles, its got poofy sleeves and a sweetheart neckline. Sequins adorns the bodice, small glitter stars on the white net over the skirt.
Sukuna watches from behind you, his arms folded over his chest. A ghost of a smile on his lips, "Like it, princess?"
You raise an eyebrow, glancing at him from the mirror. The corner of your lip curls involuntarily, "Princess?"
"Do look like one while wearing that." He answers.
You know it's not his attempt at flirting, he's being honest but the your cheeks tinge just a bit of red.
You playfully roll your eyes, pushing the strands of hair from your eyes, "I am more eligible for a queen."
He already believes you are his queen. But he'd never say it out loud to you but anyone who knows him, they know that you are his queen. You are his.
"Like it or not?" He questions again, watching as your fingertips glide over the garment.
Pressing on the larger sequins and the broach placed over your heart. He notes the uncertainty clear in your expression, the hesitance clear. You are bothered, somehow.
"I mean... it's good and the color's nice and there- there's no problem but its uh..." You pause, trying to find the right words. "What should I say? It's Uhm..."
"Too much?" He offers.
"Too much."
His crimson irises meet yours in the mirror. The tender stare isn't missed, stark contrast to his attitude half an hour ago. No words are spoken in between but its almost like a conversation is held in gaze alone.
After a second, both of your lips stretches into a smile (his looks like a smirk more).
"Am I indecisive?"
"You have tried almost ten dresses, woman." He states with a roll of eyes. "Of course, you are."
You frown and Sukuna wants to hit himself for making that comment.
"I can take thi–"
"Now don't settle for something which you obviously don't like," He interrupts you. "The last thing I want is my girl wearing something she hates."
You have to pinch your lips together to not let the smile show but it's damn difficult when he has that smirk on his face and blood rushes to your cheek.
There's just something that happens when he calls you his.
You march up to the changing room, "Want to make another awful choice for me?"
His answer would have been no but he can't say that cause he wants to pick a dress for you.
No, he wouldn't admit that it's fun. He is just... amused. Yes, amused.
He looks at the dresses again. And by look, he is actually looking. Analyzing the styles, colors and fabric before he points the one at right.
"Red?"
"Red."
"Red it is," You affirm and step into the room again.
He leans against the wall of the common area, scrolling through his phone to kill time. But the wait is killing him and the device doesn't distract his impatience to see you in his pick.
After a minute, he hears your voice, "This is it."
Curiosity plagues him again, he straightens himself up and you step outside.
You are glowing.
Sukuna's breath hitches in his throat, eyes widening just slightly. He takes every inch of your form, engraving it in his mind.
The dress isn't one with complex designs or embellishments. A simple off-shoulder red dress reaching till your ankles accentuating the waist and the skirt then flows all the way out.
Less is more; whoever said that, they were damn right.
However, it isn't the dress that has him transfixed. It's the fact that you are smiling. You are twirling. You are posing. You are beaming.
"It's perfect," You tell him, taking a spin as the skirt twirls in the air and you giggle like a kid.
It is. The dress is perfect. You are perfect.
"Like it, princess?" He asks even though he knows the answer, he wants to hear it from you.
You look at him with disbelief still with the smile. "Like it? Oh no, I don't like it. I love it."
You skip over to him, still beaming. Standing on your tip toes, you press your lips on his cheek. "Thank you." You express while grinning.
You don't get a second to react when Sukuna grabs your chin, tilting your face aside and smashes his lips on yours. Heat rushes to your face when you feel him smirk against your lips.
The curve of his mouth still remains even when he lets you go. "Thank me properly, princess."
"Will this nickname go on?"
He pushes a strand of your hair back your ear, "Now and forever." He pulls you in for a kiss again and you happily oblige.
.
When he is driving you back home, the dress packed in a bag and rests in the backseat. You are still smiling while looking out the window.
He keeps on taking secret glimpses of you once in a while. A thought stick his mind.
Sure, he never signed up for this but he is 100% sure that he made the perfect choice.
Either in dress or you.
He has made the perfect choice.
His hand involuntarily reaches for yours which rests on your thigh. Interlocking your fingers, he brings it up and brushes his lips on the back of your hand.
You take a peek at him which he returns it with a grin, his canines glinting in the dim light.
"Next time you go shopping, you are calling me."
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A/N: There's a lack of Sukuna fluff in tumblr and I was in desperate need for some soft moments. Hence, I wrote this. Hope you liked it! Likes and comments are appreciated :)
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