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millenialfanfictionaddiction · 4 months

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Being their pregnant partner featuring

Osamu, Bokuto and Sakusa

Osamu Miya x GN! Reader; Kotaro Bokuto x GN! Reader; Kiyoomi Sakusa x GN! Reader

Warnings: absolute fluff

An: I’m continuing this series because I love it so much and it helps me get myself back into the writing mode

Osamu

“Sweetheart, darling! Where are you?” Osamu yells from the opening of his newest branch of Onigiri Miya.

“In the back!” You respond, picking up yet another crate of rice and plopping it down on the stainless steel countertop.

“YN what the heck? I told you to stop lifting stuff!” Osamu scolded, walking into the back just as you were about to set the crate down. You rolled your eyes, dusting off your hands as you went to grab the last crate. Before you could reach it, the crate was swept up into your husbands arms as he narrowed his eyes on you before setting it down on the table. You scowled back at him, daring him to say what you knew he was thinking.

“Darling, I told you to stop lifting heavy things. You’re 8 months pregnant, you should be resting. I thought Kita would have helped you, he always offers.”

“Oh he did offer but I told him you’d be doing it. Then he said in his Kita dad voice ‘YN don’t you lift those crates’ and I said ‘scouts honor’” you mocked and giggled as Osamu just shock his head in response

“And what happened to scouts honor?” He asked as you showed him the fingers you had crossed behind your back.

“There’s always a way out of a scouts honor Osamu, you should know that by now!”

Osamu sighed, putting his hands on his hips and contemplating. What was he going to do with you?

“Maybe should have Atsumu babysit you when I can’t be around? Now that we have so many restaurants, is hard for me to always be here.”

You neck snapped to Osamu, eyes wide as you practically scream, “Atsumu? Babysit me? You’re joking Samu! We’d go under in a week if Sumu was here everyday! Are you saying you don’t trust me?”

Osamu sighed because he did trust you but he also knew you weren’t going to just sit and rest like the doctor told you to do.

“Ok how about this? How about we hire you an assistant and they can help with the heavy lifting? That way you can still supervise and help me cook but I won’t have to worry about you accidently popping our child out too early?”

You giggled at the concept before agreeing to your husbands suggestions, hugging his waist as he gently kissed your forehead.

Bokuto

“Hey everyone!” You shouted, walking into a gym packed with sweaty, buff volleyball players. You’re hands were full of lunch items as you slowly attempted to navigate your belly and the food to the center of the gym.

“Whoa YN hold up!” Your husband Bokuto yelled, feet racing towards you as you continued to make your way.

Suddenly, one giant hand grabbed the bags of food while the other hand gently guided you along your back to the benches at the side of the court.

“Kotaro, you know I’m capable of walking right? The doctor even said it was good for me!” You whined as Bokuto narrowed his eyes on you.

Ever since you’d found out about your prepgancy, your usually goofy husband had become rather strict.

“YN how much sitting have you done today?” Bokuto questioned as you pretended you didn’t hear him.

“Let me go set up the food first, then we can talk ok?” You remarked going to stand as your large husband pushed you back down, prompting chuckles from the peanut gallery behind him.

“Kotaro, you’re embarrassing me! Let me go!” You whisper shouted as Bokuto stood tall, his arms across his broad chest as he glared down at you. Normally you’d this extremely attractive but right now, the only thing Kotaro was doing was being annoying.

Bokuto sighed, knowing he was being a little strict with you but it was for your own good. He wanted you and your baby to be safe and healthy.

“Well I guess Akaashi did say I was being a little overprotective,” he spoke as your eyes lite up, “but you need to sit down while setting up the food ok? No attitude Yn!”

“You got it!” You smiled, standing up and kissing your husbands cheek as he grabbed your hand and walked you towards awaiting team of hungry guys.

Sakusa

“YN I’m home!” Sakusa shouted, the overwhelming scent of cleaner hitting his face as you rounded the corner, mop and bucket in hand.

“Oh thank goodness your home! I need help emptying there buckets of dirty water and refilling them,” you hummed as Sakusa sighed silently.

You were in the deeps of nesting and it was nearly impossible to get you to rest your very pregnant body. Try as he might, Sakusa had been unable to put a stop to your chaos.

He’d woken up many times in the middle of the night to you fast asleep in the nursery, amidst piles of unfolded baby clothes and diapers. He even come home on day to every single dish drying on the counter after you’d throughly cleaned the cabinets.

“Sweetie why don’t you rest for a few minutes? I bought your favorite home!” He proclaimed excitedly, hoping the allure of food would get you to rest your tired feet for a few seconds.

“Just a second love, I’m almost finished recaulking around the toilet!” You answered as Sakusa set down the food and made his way to the bathroom.

Sure enough, there you were, on your hands and knees apply caulking to their toilet. He rolled his eyes before coming behind you, putting his arms under yours and hauling you up.

“Babe I was almost done and now the caulk will be messed up!” You whined as he hauled you to the kitchen before setting you down in a chair. He began gather your food and setting it in front of you as you pouted.

“Eat first and then you can finish. You need a break. How much have you done today anyways?” He questioned as you began shoveling food in your mouth.

“Well, let’s see,” you thought, mentally going over your checklist in your mind.

“You know what, never mind babe, you can just show me after we are done ok?” Sakusa conversed, knowing very well that you’d again outdone yourself.

“Can you help me with the water for the buckets after dinner kiyoomi?” You again requested as your husband just smiled before leaning over to kiss your forehead.

“Of course my love.”

#miya osamu #osamu x reader #osamu x you #osamu x y/n #bokuto kōtarō #bokuto x reader #bokuto x you #bokuto x yn #sakusa kiyoomi #sakusa x reader #sakusa x you #sakusa x y/n #pregnant reader #gender netural #osamu x pregnant reader #bokuto x pregnant reader #Sakusa x pregnant reader #haikyuu!!#haikyuu time skip

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eyeofnewtblog · 7 months

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Things that happen at work:

Got hired by a trucking company doing admin to safety stuff.

My new boss, in the interview: I’d love to have you start on *specific date* so that we can do the on boarding stuff, but we’re going to have the Driver Appreciation BBQ literally the day after and I want everyone to meet you.

Me: That’s honestly a good plan. I’m completely available for whatever happens, what time do I need to be there?

My actual second day of being hired and going through the whole set up of Driver Appreciation BBQ Day:

*chopped four onions for burgers and sobbed in the break room*

My boss: *lightly supervises but is honestly a Party Queen because she’s a Hispanic mom and is used to throwing parties for 100 plus people in her own backyard let alone a work bbq, you don’t even understand she literally looked at the corporate list of supplies and was like “nah, too much. Mmm. Maybe. Hm. Not enough.” AND WAS EXACTLY RIGHT she owns her own bouncy house, she’s got this shit on lockdown, ok?

So like two hours into this polite bullshit introductory hell scape (I am fine with meeting new people in large groups but I hate meeting people in “sterile corporate” settings, like, if I’m going to remember you, it’s because you did something actually meaningful or interesting, NOT because you shook my hand for five seconds and said you go by Steve or Becky…)

Me, to EVERYONE because my job is to Hand Out Shirts and Lunchboxes: Hi! I’m the new girl from Safety! Who are you exactly? Please don’t expect me to remember you, I’m terrible at putting names and faces together, but I’m sure we’ll talk again soon! What size T-shirt do you want? Here’s your lunch box!

Me: *finally gets a break and sits down to eat some honestly decent brauts and potato salad, deliberately choosing to sit next to one of the drivers that’s been at the company for a while* Hi, how’s it going? I’m the new safety girl!

Older driver whose name I don’t know YET: I’m doin’ pretty good with all this free food. So, you gonna stick around after the little one comes along, or are you gonna leave us high and dry like the last one?

Me, honestly pretty angry but trying to be cool: Not pregnant, just fat.

*very very very awkward silence, like this dude knew that he fucked up, but also the way my body is shaped I really don’t blame him for thinking what he did*

He did actually apologize right then and there, and honestly the entire way he went about everything was from a genuinely good place, and I personally thought it was funny after it was all said and done. Verbal on the spot forgiveness type stuff.

Guess who fucks up the very next day by UNINTENTIONALLY losing a very important document of the exact driver who “insulted” me?

Yeah. So. I spent my entire first week on a brand new job searching through three giant filing cabinets and 20 years worth of documents for ONE fucking medical card. I didn’t find it. Believe me, I looked at every single piece of paper in those cabinets, I have no fucking clue where I put it.

The driver was really nice about it and we had a good laugh about him putting his foot in his mouth and me swearing up and down I didn’t do it for revenge.

Honestly I have no idea how any of this will turn out, but every one seems nice so far so I’m really hopeful.

#things that happened today #things that happen at work #humans are space orcs #truckers #truckers are a breed unto their own #just have fun with it

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jenevawashere · 13 days

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This was originally a reblog on one of @phoebeejeebies posts but I'm still internally screaming about it so you can now suffer with us! (if you want more context go read theirs first)

OK! I NEED TO RANT BECAUSE BRAIN ROT OF THIS SCENE AND THE IMPLICATIONS HAVE NOT GONE AWAY SINCE I LEFT THE THEATER!

Phoebe takes the chess set with her, knowing no one will be there because it's night time. She does all of this as if it is a routine she does once a week. It doesn't feel like a spur of the moment decision. This is something she has done multiple times since moving to New York.

Now we do need to mention, she is a fifteen year old alone in New York City at night in a park. That is a really stupid thing to do alone in any city at night no matter your age. The repetitive nature with which she does this suggests to me that she isn't worried about this because she knows that she isn't alone.

I have yet to listen to the soundtrack for GFE, but I have an ear for music cues and reprises (Infinity War and Endgame were music goldmines for me and I remember losing my mind at the music choices in the theater, so much so that my silent nerding out annoyed my dad). Somehow, without knowing that the reused the first bit of Chess, I recognized what the tune implied along with Phoebe's actions.

I don't remember who plays first, but when the other chess piece moves, she looks around as if she's looking for someone. Again! Keep in mind, this is a weekly occurrence. She isn't confused because she's playing chess with a ghost, she's confused because Egon has yet to materialize.

When Melody materializes, Phoebe is disappointed that it isn't him. You can see it in her face. This is something sacred that she does with her grandfather once a week. Something her family doesn't know about. Ok, maybe Trevor knows.

If Egon did/does actually come back to visit, you can't tell me he only spent time with Phoebe. He literally helped Trevor fix the Ecto in GA, he was supervising Trev the entire time. There's even a small moment when the Ecto is going through the field that you can see the silhouette of another person in the car through the back windshield. I highly doubt Egon would let his grandson do something so reckless unsupervised. (Yes this was probably a camera man or a member of the stunt crew or something, but if it were, wouldn't they have removed it?)

After being benched, Phoebe needs someone to talk to, someone who will understand, and he isn't there. Instead, there's this ghost of some girl that's on fire and, oh, she's kinda cute...

NOW! IF this is something Phoebe and Egon do regularly (as is implied), why isn't he there?

I think, he heard about Garraka down some spiritual grape vine and knows that the ice age personified can control other spirits, or maybe he read something about it during self imposed watch duty in Summerville. The only reason Melody isn't being controlled like a puppet is because she made a deal with Garraka. Egon would know how dangerous being around the orb is.

These are his friends we're talking about. This is his family! He left to protect them by standing on the front line when no one else would. They are his world at this point. If his being there even as a ghost is what will put them in danger, then he is going to stay the fuck away if it will keep them safe.

The night after everything has thawed, I'd like to think that Phoebe went out at night and went back to the park without the chess set. He was waiting for here there, ready to comfort her in the way he couldn't a few days before.

*takes a deep breath, then screams* AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

#frozen empire #phoebe spengler #ghostbusters frozen empire #ghostbusting #egon spengler #melody ghostbusters #ghostbusters

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marauderqueensblog · 3 months

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jealous boy/luke castellan

A/N: this is gonna be not toxic jealousy more like play because I don’t wanna do super dark cause I’m still trying to convinve myself luke is good

Pairing:Jealous!Luke x Aphrodite reader

Summary: being a known favorite in the aphrodite comes with its perks and downside’s especially when Luke gets a little jealous

Warnings: nothing just a tiny bit of cussing

————————————————————————Even though Aphrodite’s children known only for there looks thats didn’t keep you from learning to fight. Your weapon of choice bow and arrow. And with practice you became the best archer at the camp. So naturally the head oh Aphrodite cabin who was highly looked up to and the best archer. Would get with the head of Hermes cabin who was also a great role model and the best swordsman. To most of the camp they couldn’t think of a better match. Especially considering Hermes and Aphrodite tend to get along due to there manipulative powers. But that didn’t stop others from trying to get with you

One day you and Luke for once had clear schedules. “Love look nothing he exclaims looking at the activity board”. For once none of you guys had any mandatory Activities to teach or supervise. You look at him smiling “wanna spar” “oh you know I do” you both race towards the sparring area. Sure your specialty is archery but they doesn’t mean you don’t know your way around a sword. Even if Luke was the best swordsman at camp you’d still put up a fight. Just as Luke and you both had your swords out and where ready to fight some younger boy from the Hermes cabin came up to you. “Um hi I’m Travis Stoll I was wondering if you’d spar with me”.

Luke looked annoyed to say the least. He was never particularly fond of Travis always trying to one up him to no avail. “Oh I’m sorry Travis but I’m about to spar with Luke maybe some other time”. You say smiling. Ok well maybe we can hang out sometime like tonight or tomorrow”. But before he can finish his sentence Luke steps in. “You know she has a boyfriend right” he says looking angry now. Travis suddenly taking on a feeling of confidence says”well she can decide for herself who she truly want” “look Travis your nice you really are but I love Luke and I always will”. “See asshole she likes me so back off” he says slightly pushing Travis. “Luke”? You say hitting his arm walking away from a now stunned Travis on the floor

“What was that for” you exclaim “He needs to learn his place” Luke says dragging you to his cabin. “The minute you sit to his bed he immediately starts kissing you. Not expecting it you let a slight gasp causing him to slip his tongue in your mouth. As you continued kissing he slowly trailed down to your neck. He spent a long time making sure to suck and nip at your neck. “Luke stop your gonna leave a mark” that’s the point princess” He say continuing. After what felt like an hour he stopped. “We should’ve just done this the whole time” he stated peppering kisses over your face leaving you giggling. “Ok but no I have or use the bathroom” you saying laughing. As soon as your walk in the bathroom and look at yourself in the mirror you scream “LUKE CASTELLAN” you holler he yells back “sorry gotta go” and runs out the cabin. You let out a frustrated groan as you walk out the cabin

“Damn y/n Luke practically ate you” “Oh shut it Silena”. As you continuing walking threw camp trying to find your boyfriend you get multiple hollers and whistles and remarks. When your about to enter the Hermes cabin you bump into Chris. “Oh hey n/n Oh shit that what Luke was doing when I was trying to find him” “where is he Chris” “bunk at the end of the hall” “thank you” “Hey one more thing y/n” “what you say trining around “don’t be so loud next time” “I WASNT EVEN DOING ANYTHING” you scream and Christ slips out of the room. When you finally find Luke you blow up on him. But when he’s able to calm you down your sitting in his lap while he plays with you. “While you know one good thing from this”. “What” “that idiot Travis will never mess with you again” you raise a brown wait what where you doing this time I was gone”. Just as you say that Travis with a bleeding nose walks in stumbling. Everyone rushes to him asking what happened. “I um ran into a tree” Luke looks at you with a proud smirk. “LUKE” you scream.

A/N: I think this is one of my favorite yet I really thought I did good writing this and I love jealous Luke also I’m writing for Clarissa next so if you have any suggestions please ask.

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indecisive-dizzy · 13 days

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Wanna watch me ramble about Frank and Eddie's Parenting for Much Too Long? No? Too bad here it is anyway!

I see a lot of interpretations of Frank and Eddie as parents where Eddie is the more lenient parent while Frank is more strict. But what if it was the other way around?

Update: ok. this just turned into me talking about their flaws as parents,, oh well that's cool to think about to

Frank's "not afraid to get dirty" attitude could lend itself to him being a parent who would let his kid go about and explore (with appropriate supervision and reasonable curfew of course) and overall have more faith in them to not get in too much trouble. Curfew to him is an agreed upon time between him and the teen, so about 10-11pm, maybe 12am if they're old enough and it's not a school night. He's far less likely to ground or take away privileges if they get into trouble (unless it's school but I'll get to that), usually turning it into a learning opportunity. Maybe restricting curfew if necessary.

Eddie on the other hand, has some worry wort tendencies and would be Terrified of his babies going out on their own, even if they're supervised by a friend's parent. His idea of a weekend curfew is 7-8pm and he needs a phone call or text every hour. or maybe every half hour. And when they do get into trouble he is the first to lecture them. He's more likely to want to ground or take privileges entirely, not just change curfew. Eddie's fine with after school stuff because knows a Teacher will be there and it's a school program/function. Though field trips and prom still make him a nervous wreck.

Frank hardly gets to lecture the kid(s) because Eddie gets to it first. the only time he does is when Eddie gets Too Upset or overwhelmed and Frank's worried he'll start yelling at them.

Though Frank's not without flaw either. Frank is more concerned with grades than Eddie is. He's more likely to pressure them By Accident and bring up college a lot when they're older. Eddie on the other hand never went to college, and knowing the American school system, he probably had more 'C's than 'A's despite how smart he really is. So Eddie is less concerned with perfect grades and believes if the kid doesn't want to go to college they shouldn't be pressured into it.

I won't go too in depth but I don't think Frank did many extracurriculars in high school. Meanwhile Eddie was getting into all sorts of activities. So when their child's grades have been slipping, Frank is the one to bring up taking them out of their extracurriculars "so they can focus on their grades." To which Eddie responds with a very firm No because he knows how much extracurriculars can mean to a kid.

Frank is also more strict with chores and such. Their room needs to be clean before they go anywhere, they make their bed every day, etc. Eddie is on board, but he understands Organized Chaos and that sometimes it takes a few extra minutes to get up and start a chore. (ADHD and Depression let's go babyy) Though he is stern about getting them done by a certain time (like before dinner). Frank would rather it be done sooner/when told.

In conclusion, Frank doesn't mean to pressure them so much, and Eddie doesn't mean to be so overbearing. They're great parents, but no one is perfect. I think they'd learn and grow overtime especially with each other to bounce off of and rely on. So in the end they turn out to be great parents whose kid(s) call and visit regularly when they're adults.

#hoo boy this is... very Long #my bad!#please ignore any typos i dont think i can read this another 50 times #this is what happens when im bored #and procrastinating.#flawed parents who try so hard and learn and grow for their children <3 #still think eddie is more strict though.#even though this turned into them both being flawed. frank definitely lets them have more fun #so long as their grades are acceptable #eddie on the other hand isnt concerned with that.#Frank: You have 'A's! Be free!#Eddie: Be home before dinner. Go pick a club and answer when I call you. Because I will.#welcome home #eddie dear #frank frankly #typing out loud #Eddie “No I dont want you hanging out with them i haven't interrogated- i mean met their guardian yet” Dear #One Important thing i didn't mention in the post.#Frank or Eddie would Never physically punish a child.#they also hardly yell. IF they do its usually panic yelling not Angry yelling.#not me editing this in my drafts to correct my there. they're. and their usage.

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uninformedartist · 9 months

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Also people keep saying we aren't her parents so we should shut up.

My bio mother was a piece of shit and because people barely got involved I suffered until middle/high school where I finally fucking asked the adults in my life to help me after realizing the monster she was. Now im not saying the girl has shit parents and is going through stuff but rather im using my experience to point out how stupid this counterargument is and why people should get involved sometimes/try to protect kids in general instead of just shrugging.

Then other counterpoints bring up that we shouldnt blame Brandon or Viv but the parents. Yet I see no blame on parents discussed at all and just use the parent excuse to defend Vivziepop and Brandon. Like if your blaming the parents then why are you only using that viewpoint for this. Shouldnt the framing of the argument be that parents need to supervise their kid mire.

People bring up Brandon would be an asshole if he turned her away. Ok be nicer but be subtle about the content or talk to her parents in private and heres a thing all of us online know NEVER POST KIDS FACES EVER. Its less egregious I suppose since she's an actress and her face is already out there but still not many people knew that she was one at first.

And yes disgusting freaks are in every corner of the internet but in adult spaces they are more visible so im very concerned for the girls wellbeing.

Exactly anon, hopping on the parents of the child is the 1st response but thats not whats being done its really just an excuse brought up to deflect hate from Brandon from how he acted in this situation, focus on the parents don't just use them to deflect responsibility away from Brandon thats wrong point blank. Brandon, Viv and the other hazbin crew are adults and why I'm so hammered on that, yes they're not the kids parents but its their show, their environment at the con and they're grown ups too and should've used their discretion in this situation.

This situation could've been handled so much better, treat the kid with respect and be nice to her, say she's shouldn't watch the show or tell the parents hey your kid is a fan of an adult show just a heads up on that and DON'T POST HER PIC, I cannot put more emphasis on not posting a minors pics online for thousands to see even if the parents agreed it was on Brandon's personal insa he could've declined posting the pic.

Also I didn't know about her or how she looks till now so what you said is true anon. The wellbeing like you said is also at hand of this child now Brandon could've easily made a text insta post saying there was a famous child actor fan at the con and while he appreciates that helluva is an adult show 1st and foremost and she could've remained anonymous, be a bloody adult for once in these situations. Stop shrugging off blame from yourself, Brandon acted irresponsibly own up to that, he potentially put that child risk in various ways.

#vivziepop critical #helluva boss critical #my post #spindlehorse critical #asked and answered

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womanofwords · 7 months

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Pumpkin Carving

Halloween was approaching, which meant a lot of things, as far as Tobey McCallister was concerned. Spooky decorations, orange and green foods in stores, costumes. But mostly pumpkins.

There were pumpkins everywhere. On people's doorsteps carved into jack-o-lanterns, on decorations, on shirts, piled up on top of each other in a box in stores, everywhere. He saw it on a badge someone was wearing on her jacket. (He had to admit that the badge looked cool.)

It had even gotten to his mother.

"Theodore, we're here to get you a pumpkin," his mother said, matter of fact.

"What for?" he asked.

"For carving. I don't want you to feel left out."

Tobey spluttered with shock. "You never did pumpkin carving when you were a child, and you were fine!"

"I grew up in England. You are living in America. This is a very common practice in this country concerning Halloween. And I think you should have a pumpkin."

And that was that.

(PAUSE)

Tobey looked at the pumpkin as it sat on the kitchen counter, sneering at it. "What do I even need you for, huh?" he asked the pumpkin rhetorically. The pumpkin did not respond, because it was a pumpkin. With comedic timing, a flyer was slid through the letterbox.

HALLOWEEN FESTIVAL! the flyer happily advertised, in shades of orange, green, black, red and gold.

The red and gold were not found on the bubble writing, but on WordGirl. WordGirl was going to be there, supervising a pumpkin carving station.

Maybe it would be worth it after all.

(PAUSE)

Tobey walked in with the pumpkin, feeling out of place. Everyone seemed to know what they were doing and what they wanted to do, and he was just so . . . lost.

"Hi, Tobey!" WordGirl said, flying in with her own pumpkin. "How are you finding the Halloween festival so far?"

"Where's the pumpkin carving station?" Tobey asked.

"It's over here. You're a little early. Have you done this before?" she asked.

Tobey turned red. "N-no."

"That's OK. I'll walk you through it when it starts. Nice pumpkin."

"Thank you," Tobey said.

More people came in with pumpkins and sat down. All of them seemed to know what they were doing.

"OK, class, before we start with the fun part of cutting into the pumpkin, let's make a plan of what you want the face to look like," WordGirl said. "I brought markers, if you need that."

The markers were snatched up quickly. Tobey was lucky to get one at all. Looking around, he saw other people drawing faces onto the pumpkins. The markers were probably just to mark where they would cut later.

"Now for the gooey, gross part," WordGirl instructed. "We're going to cut the top off to make a lid and then we'll scoop out all the guts in the middle."

"Where do we put all the guts afterwards?" Tobey asked.

"Bob will be coming around with a box for it. They're going to be planted to make pumpkins for next year," WordGirl said.

She is so giving, Tobey thought, as she talked about the pumpkin seeds becoming the pumpkins used for next year. He drew a basic set of eyes, a nose and a smiley face for his pumpkin. Nothing too big, after all. It was only his first time.

"How are you getting on, Tobey?" WordGirl asked. Tobey turned red.

"Good. Drew a little something," he said.

"Looks great," WordGirl said. Tobey suppressed his glee.

She thought it looked great, Tobey thought, as he got out a knife and stabbed through the pumpkin. He sawed this way and that, and eventually, he fashioned himself a lid for his jack-o-lantern. Now time for the gross part, which a lot of people were already doing, with their own brand of commentary to go with it.

"Ew, it's so gross!" TJ said, as he stuck his whole forearm in.

"And squidgy!" Victoria Best said.

"I know. Just put the guts in there." WordGirl sighed and pointed to the box. "Once you're done, you can start with cutting out the face for your jack-o-lantern."

Tobey was terrified. The pumpkin didn't even have a face yet, but it was taunting him anyway. The first stab was the hardest, and Tobey was scared. What if it went off-track and he had a terrible pumpkin?

"Are you OK, Tobey?" WordGirl asked.

"Yes . . . no." He couldn't lie to her. "I'm worried. That I'll mess it up." He looked at her hopefully. "Could you help?"

"Sure!" WordGirl took Tobey's knife and gave Tobey a smaller knife. She even adjusted the way he held his knife, opening his hand and literally fixing the way he held the knife. He could have fainted with joy. "I'll do the mouth, and you can do the eyes and nose."

"Thank you," Tobey said, his voice shaking. He had to wipe the steam from his glasses before cutting the eyeholes so he could see what he was doing. Everyone else melted away as he and WordGirl worked on this pumpkin together.

Eventually, it was done, and they looked at it with pride. "It looks great," WordGirl said, smiling.

"So do you," Tobey said.

"What was that?"

"I said 'so true'! It is so very true that this jack-o-lantern looks good," Tobey stammered. "I feel like there should be a light or something!"

"Oh!" WordGirl rooted around in her pocket until she got a battery powered light. "It's battery powered, so no risk of it burning anything down."

"Thank you!" Tobey skipped off with his jack-o-lantern, WordGirl waving him off.

"How did it go?" his mother asked, when he returned.

Tobey presented the jack-o-lantern to his mother before setting it down next to the front door with the battery-powered candle. "Amazing."

#creative writing #my writing #writers on tumblr #writers #writeblr #writing #writerscommunity #wordgirl #theodore mccallister iii #tobey mccallister

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secretmellowblog · 1 year

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@pilferingapples Boulatruelle is the most underrated Les mis character and he did NOTHING wrong! At least That’s my Boulatruelle Fan Theory #BoulatruelleFansRiseUp.

(Ok I’m joking. But still.)

OK SO (for people who haven’t read Les mis in a bit.) Boulatruelle is a minor character who is an ex-convict, like Valjean. He sorta represents what might’ve happened to Valjean if Valjean hadn’t gotten Myriel’ed/committed identity fraud.

Boulatruelle works as a road-mender outside Montfermil, getting paid starvation wages. When we first see him we’re not (iirc) explicitly told if he’s done anything criminal since leaving prison but— like Valjean in Digne— everyone in town already hates him for being an ex-convict. It doesn’t matter if he’s “guilty” or not, they’d hate him either way. And also like Valjean in Digne, Boulatruelle is overly submissive/deferential to all the bigoted people around him because he has to be in order to survive. The threat of being returned to prison is always hanging over him.

He was subjected to certain police supervision, and, as he could find work nowhere, the administration employed him at reduced rates as a road-mender on the crossroad from Gagny to Lagny. This Boulatruelle was a man who was viewed with disfavor by the inhabitants of the district as too respectful, too humble, too prompt in removing his cap to every one, and trembling and smiling in the presence of the gendarmes,—probably affiliated to robber bands, they said; suspected of lying in ambush at verge of copses at nightfall. The only thing in his favor was that he was a drunkard.

When Valjean buries his money in the woods, Boulatrelle attempts to figure out where he’s hidden it. Which yeah, i guess it sucks he’s trying to steal or whatever, but hey he’s having a rough time. And stealing things from a saintly dude worked out for Valjean so

But here’s the thing— Boulatruelle KNOWs Valjean! He recognizes him from Toulon! We’re told he’s a “comrade from the galleys” and recognizes him in sight! He could give away Valjean’s identity!

People in the town—especially Thenardier— begin to get suspicious about Boulatruelle digging in the woods. They realize he must’ve seen someone bury money there and attempt to get the information out of him .

And because he’s a “drunkard”— or really, an alcoholic— Thenardier decides the best way to manipulate him is by getting him drunk. This is explicitly compared to another person’s suggestion that they torture the information out of him:

One evening the schoolmaster affirmed that in former times the law would have instituted an inquiry as to what Boulatruelle did in the forest, and that the latter would have been forced to speak, and that he would have been put to the torture in case of need, and that Boulatruelle would not have resisted the water test, for example. “Let us put him to the wine test,” said Thénardier.

But even with all that, Boulatruelle never gives up Valjean’s name. He stubbornly refuses. That makes it seem like…he really does have a conscience, at least at first?

Idk to me it seems that Boulatruelle starts out like Digne Valjean — but gets corrupted utterly as the story goes on. In his first chapter it’s implied he still can occasionally be driven by his conscience (not giving up Valjean’s name even under duress)…. but by the end of the book that’s sorta gone. We only get a couple very brief flashes of his life, but to me he seems like an alternate universe version of Valjean who wasn’t helped by the bishop, and instead was manipulated by someone who took advantage of how desperate and isolated he was.

The next time we see him is during the Gorbeau House ambush. It’s years later, and he is now part of Thenardier’s gang. That’s depressing but it makes sense— he made so little as a road-mender, everyone hated him, and if he was attempting to live even Somewhat “honestly” it wasn’t working. In that intro chapter scene with we’re shown that Boulatruelle is surrounded by people who want to send him back to prison and have him tortured— but Thenardier acts like his “friend” and easily manipulates him with alcohol.

But like …during the Gorbeau house ambush it sorta looks like Boulatruelle’s heart isn’t in it?

Boulatruelle is so drunk he barely knows what’s going on. (Which again, feels related to the earlier scene where Thenardier manipulates Boulatrelle to keep drinking more than he should in order to make him behave the way he wants.)

At the trampling which ensued, the other ruffians rushed up from the corridor. (Boulatrelle), who seemed under the influence of wine, descended from the pallet and came reeling up, with a stone-breaker’s hammer in his hand.

Iirc he makes no indication that he recognizes Valjean—hmmm— but is very easily defeated after receives a punch in the face from Valjean when Valjean is trying to escape, and is knocked out/sleeps through the rest of the ambush. Again it sorta feels like he doesn’t particularly care about any of it.

That’s unlucky for Thenardier because again, he’s the only dude there who could’ve told him who Valjean actually was. Idk it’s funny that if Thenardier had set basic rules like “don’t show up to the important ambush blackout drunk” he might’ve actually had an upper hand against Valjean— if Boulatruelle had been willing to share his knowledge this time, anyway.

(There’s also a line in a later chapter where he says “this prowler of patron-Minette has his reasons,” while talking about how he needs to find out where Valjean has hidden his money. I’m not sure if that line is referring to himself as the “prowler,” Or if it’s meant to imply he knew Valjean was the one Patron-Minette had ambushed and just hadn’t told anyone.)

(AND SIDE NOTE: we all talk about how Valjean is paranoid about the police in the Gorbeau House scene, but I’m just realizing he must’ve been so paranoid about Boulatruelle too?? Because in the chapter where Boulatruelle talks about him he makes it sounds like Valjean would also recognize HIM on sight. I think it’s also interesting that when Valjean is trying to escape by force in the first couple minutes, Boulatruelle is the only one he knocks out. It feels deliberate. Sure; Boulatrelle is so drunk he just kinda falls asleep after being punched. But it’s also not hard to see why Valjean would be especially afraid of him.)

But yeah Boulatruelle literally sleeps through the whole ambush! He’s like, the Anti-Grantaire. Drunkenly sleeping through the big event because he genuinely doesn’t care. He’s not being actively evil as much as he’s letting himself get dragged along.

He’s also the Anti-Grantaire in that, when all his allies get punished by authority, he’s spared punishment because he drunkenly slept through the whole thing. He doesn’t wake up to stand by them and accept punishment by their side, he’s totally cool with not going to prison while they do.

In the meanwhile, the agents had caught sight of the drunken man asleep behind the door, and were shaking him:—

He awoke, stammering:—

“Is it all over, Jondrette?”

I wonder if the weird barricade parallels are another relic of that earlier draft of the book where Patron-Minette were a bigger thing.

…and Interestingly, it’s only after the rest of Patron-Minette gets arrested that Boulatruelle seems to really become fully corrupted?

The last we see of him is a callback to his first chapter. He’s no longer with Patron-Minette or Thenardier— they were arrested and he was not— so he’s alone and a road-mender again.

Only now, everything is Even Worse? Hes no longer described as trembling and smiling and deferential, but as openly breaking things and robbing people. We’re no longer told that bigoted townspeople assume he’s robbing people with no proof other than “he’s an ex-con,” we’re told that he IS robbing people openly at every opportunity. We’re told that he drinks even more than he used to. The first time Boulatrelle saw Valjean (in his first chapter) he had considered following him, but later refuses to reveal his identity; this time, he follows Valjean with a weapon and an intent to kill.

…..however i do admit there is a possibility I’m overthinking this. XD I’ve mentioned before that I feel like the side Patron-Minette characters are often the weakest part of the book, and feel like relics from early drafts (because they are.) It’d be incomplete to talk about Boulatruelle without admitting that his alcoholism/state of constant drunkenness is often played for comedy. His final scene where he discovers Valjean has dug up his money, and angrily shrieks that he’s a Thief, is also played for comedy. There’s something really interesting about the way he’s set up as a foil for Valjean, but if I’m being honest I don’t think Hugo follows through on it completely.

It’s like he’s set up as a character foil for Valjean, a “what if Valjean had fallen in with Thenardier instead of Myriel” —but yeah while I do think that’s there, I also think Hugo doesn’t seem as interested in exploring that idea as I am XD. Like a lot of the side members of Patron Minette, Boulatruelle feels a bit incomplete.

But there’s really a lot of potential in a character who represents the Corruption Arc Valjean might’ve had without the bishop? To me it seems like Boulatruelle first chapter focuses on the tragedy of being newly released from prison in ways that pretty explicitly echo Valjean’s — the way he’s isolated, a victim of bigotry and all these systemic barriers, “trembling and smiling” in the presence of the police. But in Boulatrelle’s case all the bigoted things the townspeople say about him in his introduction end up being true— he does end up affiliated with “robber bands,” he does plan to ambush Valjean in a dark forest at night. And I feel like it’s in large part as a result of falling in with Thenardier as a “friend.”

Idk I feel like the point is supposed what Valjean says earlier— “there are no bad plants and no bad men; there are only bad cultivators.” Boulatrelle ended up kinda sucking as a person, but he didn’t have to.

I sorta wish he managed to attempt to rob Valjean that first time, because Valjean might have been to Boulatruelle what the bishop was to him? And In AU where he redeemed himself it would be Good for Valjean to develop some kind of healthy friendship with someone who was dealing with the same “ex-con” struggles as him? Maybe the reason I stan Boulatruelle is because Valjean needs a friend and I want him to be redeemed for Valjean’s sake? And anyway that’s my fixit fic, thank you for reading XD.

#i can fix Boulatrelle #Valjean needs a friend. so I can fix him #Les mis #but yeah thank you pilf!!!#again it’s like? hm #a lot of the patron-Minette stuff feels less finished to me than other parts of the book #but like!!#he’s a problematic fave #i think he would be a chill dude if he had enough money to live on #and like maybe a friend #because he’s Valjeans character foil and all!

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fratboykate · 11 months

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Ok, I have a dumb admission and a question. What's the difference between a cinematographer and a director?? Like I thought "cinematographer" was just what pretentious Directors called themselves, otherwise I must confess that I don't know what a Director does 😅.

bro the way i LAUGHED. ive been laughing since i saw this yesterday but i only just sat down to do what im going to show you below so this is when im replying. but also......concerning??? im not coming at YOU directly but this is why i hate seeing people go off talking about the industry online when 95% of you don't grasp even the most basic things about how any of this works. serious question.....have you neverrrrrr seen even the oscars' nominee list??? anyyyyyy awards show??? directing and cinematography are two different categories because they're two completely different jobs done by different people lol. this is so funny.

look, this is going to be a broad generalization because for obvious reasons a studio project and a more independent film are going to be set up/come to be in veryyyy different ways but lets do the most basic breakdown. the easiest way to explain what a director does is imagining that every film/episode of TV is a company and the director is, for all intents and purposes, the CEO of that company for however long the project is going.

i made a little super basic hierarchy flowchart: (you have to click on it to enlarge it)

film sets typically have at the very least 50 people on crew and can go up to like 300 so, again, this is simplified as fuck but these are the major departments/departments heads. depending on the project you'd just have a lot more people below each department head. for clarity the department heads are: 1st AD, cinematographer, production designer, costume designer, sound mixer, hair stylist, make-up, etc. if a project demands it you'd also have other departments like stunts and what not. art department tends to grow EXPONENTIALLY the bigger the project. if you have to build or dress huge sets then you obviously need a lot more people with different specialties (carpenters, painters, etc). this is also only ON SET departments. there's also post-production which the director also supervises but that's a whole other beast.

there's a huge misconception that producers are the "bosses" of the director but in a film - i'd say at least 50% of the time - producers are collaborators with the director. for example, i write a script and my agents take it out. a producer attaches themselves and because im also a director obviously i'd want to direct the project. at that point the producer and i come together to make the film happen. they're not my boss because i wrote the script. it's my project. they're simply coming on board to work WITH ME to get it packaged, financed, and into production. that changes a little if you're coming onto say something like a blockbuster or something part of a franchise because then you are in more of a "work for hire" situation so the studio producer would be above the director in that scenario. BUT they're still hiring that director to be the CEO of the production. it's kind of like how a board hires a CEO in a company to lead even thought they can technically fire them at any moment. there is some oversight but the director is still the boss of everyone else and runs the set/day to day operations.

now, to what exactly a director does...a director is the creative force behind a project. each and every one of those hundreds of people on crew are there to make a director's vision come to life. a director takes a script and translates their interpretation of it to the screen. they are the ones who make every single decision from who gets cast, to where you're shooting, what the characters are wearing, what couch they're sitting on, where the camera is placed, etc. every single damn decision runs through the director. not only are they the brain of the operation but they are the ONLY ones who deal with actors. they alone control an actor's performance. as a director i guide them to give me what i want. gross simplification but directors are basically an actor's puppeteer. yes, it's a collaborative process but at the end of the day a director doesn't have to agree with an actor's input and whatever the director says will trump anything else. a director is the ultimate arbiter of all aspects of a performance and if they want to control the smallest detail (say like...how and when an actor moves a finger) they can and will. again, everyone on set including actors is under the purview of the director and do anything the director says. it tends to be less dictatorial than that because people like to collaborate, but there are directors who run their sets like military boot camps where no one has a voice but them. it can be a dick move if they don't handle it correctly, but they're within their right to do so. everyone has their own approach.

this is different in TV though. a showrunner is above a director in every way. the showrunner is the creative vision of a show but often times they're not a director. so they'll bring in directors to run sets. however in TV directors are always taking pointers from the showrunners. when we direct an episode of TV we have to have meetings with showrunners and they explain to us what they want then, with script in hand, we go out and do our thing to make the showrunner's vision come to life. that is even more of a "work for hire" situation than a studio film. especially because the crew for the show is there for the entire season while directors are only there for an episode or two. you're really just being hired to keep the machine going for a week but you don't have much control at all. a showrunner can and will override you on almost any decision if they think you're straying. it is undoubtedly much more nuanced and complicated than this, but if you want me to give you the super blunt and oversimplified version of tv direction i'd say that unless you're directing the pilot, an episodic director who comes in to direct something random like episode 2x07 is basically there to work with the guest stars/day players and make sure the wheels don't fall of a train that was already in motion. you're really only there to manage people for the 7-8 days it takes to shoot an episode and to yell "action" and "cut" lol. when you come into an ongoing series, at that point the leads already know their characters and there's a visual language cemented for the show. you're simply there to follow all of that and color between those lines. tv directing is much less creative than people think. it's more managerial than anything. you're a guest in someone else's house. you're basically house sitting for a week. sure you can move the furniture around a little and set the plant by that other window while you're in the house but you can't suddenly decide to remodel the kitchen and install a pool in the backyard because...that ain't your house. you're just visiting and the owners expect to, for the most part, find their house as it was when they gave it to you because the moment you leave, another housesitter is coming to take over for another week. i hope that analogy made sense lol.

a cinematographer (interchangeable/synonymous with "director of photography") works FOR the director. they have their own department and team of people they oversee but, like everyone else, they're there to serve and execute the director's vision. cinematographers are first and foremost technicians. their work is SUPER hands-on and complex. they are the ones who work with cameras and lighting. a director can give instructions as simple as "i want this to be a close-up of her face. it's half in silhouette because the scene is moody. its supposed to be windy outside so i also want to see shadows in the back wall of the tree branches swaying violently to convey that." the cinematographer's job is to take that direction and make it happen. they're going to tell their teams what lights to use, how/where to rig them, what gear they need, etc. it's kind of like if you go to a tailor because you want a jacket. you know exactly what type of jacket you want and you may even bring references because you have such a clear idea. you know everything down to the color and style but you can't sew. the tailor is the one who knows how to make the patterns then stitch them together with their machine. you bring in the design/idea and the tailor fabricates it. the director has the vision and the cinematographer + their team are the ones who take that idea and make it happen practically. a lot of directors can also speak the technical DP language and have deep understanding of lights, gear, cameras, and lenses. many directors can and will tell their cinematographer exactly what lens they want and what light they want placed where. but a director doesn't have to know all of that or know more than the basics. they also won't physically do any of the manual labor to put all that together because that's the job of the camera and g&e (grip & electric) teams that the cinematographer oversees. the cinematographer is there to have that knowledge and be able to translate even the most basic of instructions into all the technical things that need to happen to put that instruction on screen.

anyway...ive ranted enough. just trust when i tell you everything in this industry is complicated and unless you actually work day in and day out in this shit YOU HAVE NO IDEA. the idiots on twitter like "i took a film class in college so im an expert"...go fuck yourself lol. you know nothing. this whole thing is so complicated on the inside that during the strike a plethora of us have noticed and are pointing out that even a lotttttttt of critics who make a living out of talking about film and tv have no fucking clue how the sausage is made. just go look for the tweets. there's more than enough writers speaking up about it. it's been SHOCKING. so many of us have been going like "uhhhhhhhhhhhhh how are people who write about this every day this ignorant about things that should be basic???" unless you're in it you don't know anything and ill forever stand by that.

#i think its been a while since you made me go on a full 'papi rant' lol #no one's gonna read all that but at least i answered your question with all the things i thought you'd need to get the bare minimum #at least #anonymous #answers #hollywood

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mittenlady · 3 months

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Hi. I am bored and also wanting to bother you specifically. Which theory is better? Athena Cykes being a robot (evidence being widget, how did she never get hurt/see blood, Métis “studying” just being working with her code, autism) or her dad being the Phantom (this evidence is more Métis based like how would the psychological profile work without a match, why didn’t she just kill him, why doesn’t Athena see Bobby as weird, Athena gets double autism genes) Both work well in any context. I like Phantomdad cause Athena and Apollo can bond over terroristic fathers <3

omg me specifically… such an honor… ok lemme think this thru (this is a long one)

robothena:

• actually how does widget connect to her emotions… bc there is a way to judge how someone’s feeling based on bodily signs like pulse, temp., etc., but even at that a lot of emotions have very similar bodily reactions and part of determining how u feel is like… from the mind. if i remember my AP psych 5 correctly 😎 but also even at that widget wouldn’t logically have access to her thoughts that does not make sense unless metis like… chipped her??? or something????? which is still impossible

• i think if she’s sheltered enough then at 11 when she saw metis die, she might not have recognized it? but i feel it’s very implausible that she as a child would be so that intensely cautious + NEVER get into an accident + absolutely always be supervised enough to never get hurt. it is odd that her perspective would be that warped so that she’s unable to recognize it but idk. if she has no frame of reference is it human instinct to recognize blood… (i will not do further research at this time i am lazy)

• last two points u bring up i don’t think it’s mentioned what metis does specifically so no comment also elaborate on what you mean by the autism point because athena is giving neurodivergent but like what do you mean in context of that being evidence 😭

• she does seem to enjoy orange juice and little girl treats tho so how would that work… robots don’t really need to eat…

• also based on the navigation companions (ponco and clonco; only reason i know the proper term is for CAYA) why would her machinery be so more advanced than theirs? if aura and metis r capable of creating something so lifelike then why are ponco and clonco, made after her (i think) so far behind?

phantom dad ??:

• metis likely wouldn’t have a match for the phantom’s identity but it was simon who brought her the audio recording of the phantom’s voice i believe so that’s how she composed the psych profile knowing that. 95% sure because i had to look this up for CAYA

• tbf the phantom was wearing a jacket, but also yeah she likely could have done something in self-defense… but if they used the sword on her it’s likely any attempts @ self-defense wouldn’t have gone well regardless. there’s not really enough information in the game i don’t think to say whether or not there was an attempt or not

• bobby was able to fuck w his emotions in game and put on the appearance of emotions, if i remember correctly that was an aspect during the cross-examination/mood matrix part during it, so that’s likely why she didn’t find it off. and if she did, the game didn’t think to actually foreshadow anything by having her mention it either in passing or in her own narration during turnabout academy

i think athena and apollo both having terrorist fathers would be funny tho lol

but based on my minimal research as i consider this, the robothena one seems more plausible as it does better explain some of the illogical parts of the game. ofc it’s in the “future” but literally this made me realize that widget doesn’t make much sense with his ability to literally know what she’s thinking. like unless there’s some wack-ass science shit the writers just didn’t think necessary to share like… what is going on with that

#dual destinies spoilers #i suppose #ask #typing this in the law college bathroom as we speak i got here too early lol

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whentherewerebicycles · 1 year

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ok just need to do some head/heart-clearing journaling below the cut.

i’m in my sixth month in this job and nothing has really gotten better. i spent the first couple months crying after work multiple times a week, including perhaps my lowest moment where i was so overcome by existential despair i felt myself starting to cry IN A MEETING and had to make up an excuse to gather myself off camera. the last few months have been a little better (the existential despair is humming along at bearable background levels!) but i still feel out of sorts, disconnected from myself, and just... listless.

here are the biggest issues:

not enough work. this is killing me. i don’t need to be working literally every second from 9-5 and i don’t miss the teacher lifestyle of grading all weekend, but goddd I need projects you know? i need short- and long-term projects. i need things i’m working on or goals i’m working towards. and i need that work to feel purposeful. not every task has to be imbued with Deep Meaning but i need to be doing more than sitting in a teams call watching my lead copy and paste text from an email onto a powerpoint for 45 minutes. i had that one big project that i got to project manage and collaborate with another team on and i REALLY enjoyed that even though i didn’t care at all about the content. i guess what i enjoyed was just like, that feeling of breaking a complex task up into smaller chunks and then make meaningful decisions about how to tackle different parts of it. and i really liked the team i was working with too and felt like i did a really good job building a positive working relationship with them & running some interference for them at a moment where our boss was really stressing them out. all of that was good! but that project is over now and my lead has been blocking me from taking on other projects like that for reasons unclear (i mean i have my theories but).

work is too solitary. i need like a 40% solitary 60% social balance in my work life. instead it’s like 90% solitary 10% social and most of my social contact is with a person who doesn’t listen to my ideas and at times is actively undermining me or taking credit for my work in front of others.

the way this organization thinks about learning is so, so flawed and so ineffective but my lead simply does not want to hear it and shuts down every effort i make to try to incorporate or introduce evidence-based methods into our work. everyone is really set on doing things the way they’ve always done them, largely i think because they have no real conception of how else things could look/feel/function or why that might be more effective. we’re supposed to be learning experts but the person right above me is so committed to managing our boss’s feelings that she never actually provides expertise.

i’m not gonna rehearse my litany of grievances against the person who manages my day to day work here but let’s just say i am at my breaking point!!!! it is so exhausting to be under the thumb of someone who needs total control over everything i do and who seems to be so insecure about their own role/expertise/whatever that they have to actively block me from taking on new projects or pursuing professional development opportunities or communicating with anyone else in the office or speaking in meetings. like literally i can’t speak in meetings because they will tell me to ‘let them handle it’ & won’t let me get a word in edgewise & then if i do speak they’ll interrupt or speak over me to clarify what i ‘really’ meant. also this person wronged me last week lol and i’m going to be a grownup about it but i am certainly not going to forget that it happened.

there are no signs of improvement on the horizon & no route to getting out from under from this person’s supervision. honestly this job would be Fine if this person would get out of my way and let me do my job. but they will not and the more i try to make this job useful/purposeful to myself the more they perceive me as a threat who must be neutralized, even if nothing i am doing is challenging their position at all. i think i have one nuclear option (lol) which is going to my contractor boss and saying that i’d like them to consider assigning me to a completely different office, like essentially creating the same position for me in a place where there currently isn’t an L&D team... and that could work because i think there’s need for that, but the person who currently supervises me would interpret this as a declaration of all-out war and if it didn’t pan out i would really fuck up my own working life there. so i am loath to try that unless things get a lot worse or until i have some other potential job prospects on the horizon.

here’s what’s “good” about the job: the money is stupid, there’s no commute, i can do the work with 95% of my brain tied behind my back, and my schedule is stupidly flexible.

people keep telling me that when i have a tiny shrieking infant living in my house i will wish i had a job that paid stupid money and required absolutely nothing from me. and i am sure that they are right in some ways! having an easy pointless well-compensated job would certainly relieve many financial and mental stressors! but also, as i’ve been thinking about the ways in which my life is likely to change, i also feel like... hmm. how to articulate this. my sense is that becoming a parent for the first time is a pretty intense crisis of the self moment, where the self you were and the life that self lived at least partially dissolve or are exploded or whatever and you find yourself in a new life structured by radically different routines and obligations and emotions. i know you can’t really prepare for that but maybe you can at least sort of start to mentally prepare the groundwork for: i’m not going to feel like my old self for a while, maybe for a very long time, and that’s going to be both exciting and profoundly destabilizing, in the way that huge life transformations or upheavals always are.

the problem is, i’ve already spent the past six months feeling disconnected from my sense of self, listless, unsure of my purpose, cognitively dulled, etc etc. i feel like i’ve tried to fill the void of meaning in my life with small, self-focused, kinda myopic activities that are “nice” and enjoyable but do not make me feel connected to any kind of purpose or meaning that transcends the self and its petty little concerns. i’ve obsessively focused on decorating my house. i’ve focused on food and cooking. i’ve focused on exercise and my weight and on buying a new wardrobe. like, don’t get me wrong, it’s really good for me to get enough exercise and learn how to cook good, nutritious food and create a home space that i love living in. but those activities, for me, are best when they’re kind of at the margins of my “real” life, a life of intellectual and interpersonal and professional purpose. it’s nice to cook a nice meal, but it’s much, much better (to me!) to spend the day absorbed in a big planning project or doing work with students and then come home and make a nice meal. i guess the simple way of putting it is: i’ve been nourishing my senses and that’s good, that’s important, but i gotta be nourishing my spirit too. i believe in the soul, you know? and i believe in the soul-expanding power of really meaningful work, really meaningful relationships. the power of a life that’s well & usefully & purposefully lived. and right now i just feel... idk. i feel cramped, listless, self-absorbed in my soul. and that feels so bad to me. that hurts me. it’s like this dull ache inside of me all the time that i try to soothe by buying more things or painting another wall or whatever.

and i guess like... i don’t want to bring new life into the world when i’m feeling like that. i don’t want to move directly from a period of feeling totally adrift and lost and disconnected from myself into a period of my life where i will maybe feel overwhelmed and terrified by new responsibility and adrift in a new way. i don’t want to have to do the work of rebuilding my sense of self twice over, you know? idk i’m not articulating this well i need to think about it a bit more i think. but i guess too like... i don’t want to raise a kid doing a job that kills my soul. i want to have a part of myself that feels like a writer or a thinker or a teacher, even if i am also a parent and have to find ways to integrate those different facets of myself. i want to be a parent very badly but i want to find a way to parent that feelis aligned with my values and ultimately, in the long run, makes me feel more like myself, even if that self undergoes many transformations in the process. IDK can’t untangle my own feelings here, not sure i am really managing to articulate what’s in my head/heart, but like.. i guess...

i don’t feel like me right now

i may be about to experience a crisis of the self (parenthood) that may make me feel very alien to myself in some ways

i would like to embark on that journey of self-dissolution / self re-formation from a place of feeling really solid in myself, rather than from a place of feeling extremely adrift, unmoored, at sea. i want to feel like there’s a solid place .. not to return to exactly, but to find again or find in another way on the other side of the sleeplessness and the terror of being responsible for a small person and so on.

i also just want my kid to see me as someone who loves their work. not “work” in the capitalist sense but work in the life’s work sense. i think it is so deeply human, maybe the most deeply human thing of all, to crave purpose and to seek out purposeful work that makes us feel more like ourselves and more connected to the people around us. maybe not everyone feels that way! but i do! that’s an important thing to me! and i think it’s worth starting to take some big life re-evaluation steps now to bring myself closer to that way of living.

#blah blah blah #personal #mw

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bestillmyslashyheart · 2 years

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all hail the queen

on ao3 (technically part 4 but parts 1-3 are unrelated/not required reading to understand this)

“Someone do something,” Big hissed under his breath. He got several dirty looks and a swift kick to the kidneys in response.

“Problem?” Porsche asked.

“No,” Big gritted out. He and Porsche would never be friends, at times they managed to scrape together some measure of civility, and right now he’d really like to punch him in the face. If it wouldn’t guarantee him a bullet wound when Khun Kinn returned.

Kinn had been out of town for three days now and wasn’t expected back for another two. In his absence, Porsche held the reins to the business. Which included the meetings, and the paperwork, and the training. Big thought it was proving a bit too much for him to handle since the man had only gotten more and more aggravating as time passed.

Yesterday, he’d almost taken one of the new trainees heads off for asking a question. Today, he was taking the senior bodyguards to task, all those that hadn’t accompanied Khun Kinn on his business trip were subject to the worst training experience of their lives. (Big might or might not be having flashbacks to the two times he and Ken had been allowed to punish Porsche years before)

On Big’s left, Pete stumbled and fell, his knee banging audibly against the concrete floor. “Fuck,” Pete cursed.

“What was that?” Porsche snapped. Pete’s mouth snapped shut and he visibly forced himself to his feet.

“Nothing, Porsche, all good!” The man tried to say brightly but it was a clear struggle. Porsche didn’t seem to notice or care. He narrowed his eyes at Pete before giving one firm nod and turning to one of the other guys.

“Ok,” Pol huffed. “If Pete’s not safe…” then no one was, he left unsaid. “We need to do something.”

“I just said that,” Big sniped. “God, what crawled up his ass and died?”

“Big,” Porsche’s voice was deceptively soft. And terrifyingly close. Big wasn’t sure when Porsche had time to get behind him but he was hovering just over his shoulder and had clearly heard everything. “I think this training is proving too difficult for you,” he continued, stalking around him until Big was forced to look him in the eye. “You’re excused.”

Big straightened as best he could. “I am?”

Porsche smiled and Big’s heart sank. “You are,” he confirmed. “Khun Tankhun is going shopping and needs an escort. Since you can’t handle today’s training, you will be on his detail.” Porsche twisted his wrist to check the time. “He’s leaving in 7 minutes. Don’t keep him waiting.” Big couldn’t force himself to move. “Oh, and Torn is heading today’s team. Make sure to do whatever he says.” Big narrowed his eyes. Torn had only been with the family for four months. There was no way Big would take orders from him. “Six minutes,” Porsche added, his voice hardening.

Big went.

Later, after seven hours and too many stores to keep track of, Big found himself back in the training arena. This time, without Porsche’s supervision.

“What’s wrong with him?” Book, one of the new trainees asked. “I’ve never seen Porsche like this.” The newbies had a romanticized view of Porsche, having been subjected to the man’s laid back style and jovial attitude. They hadn’t been out on an assignment with him yet. The man changed when Khun Kinn’s life was on the line.

“He’s tough,” Arm defended. “He takes his job seriously and if we aren’t prepared someone can get hurt.” Pol shot him a look. “But he has been taking it a little far the past few days,” he allowed.

“When does Khun Kinn come back?” Ken was trying to stretch out his shoulder. He’d done something to it after Big had been dismissed.

“Two days,” Pete, Big, and Arm chorused.

“That’s too long,” Ken objected.

Big snorted. “Okay. You call him up and tell him that. Tell him to get his ass home because his boytoy has lost his mind.”

Ken grimaced. “I wouldn’t phrase it like that.”

“Who’s the boytoy?” One of the trainees whose name Big had bothered to learn yet leaned forward, his brow creased. All of the senior bodyguards turned to him in disbelief. A few of the other trainees also looked curious but wisely didn’t chime in.

“You’ve got to be kidding me,” Ken bemoaned in English. “Idiots. All of them.” He groaned loudly. “Pete.”

“No,” Pete replied immediately. “I’m not saying anything to him.” He had ice strapped to his bandaged knee.

“Why didn’t he just go with Khun Kinn?” Pol asked.

“To make our lives miserable,” Big grumbled.

“Something with his brother,” Pete answered.

Arm turned to him. “...do you happen to have his brother’s phone number?” Pete shook his head.

“Hey,” Pol snapped at one of the trainees. “You’re on Khun Kim’s detail, right?” The guy nodded slowly. “Where is he?”

“Uh,” the guy stuttered.

“Pol,” Arm sighed. “We are not stalking Khun Kim to get to Porsche’s brother. Porsche and Khun Kim would kill us.”

“It’s worth a try,” Pol defended.

“You’re on your own,” Ken told him.

Pol deflated. “Anyone else got any bright ideas?” No one answered him.

The next two days were hell. The Theerapanyakun family has always been tough with high standards for their employees but in Kinn’s absence, Porsche seemed to have taken it as a personal challenge to drive them all into the ground. Half of them, more than half if everyone forgot their pride for a second, were injured enough that they probably couldn’t go on assignment, and the rest were driven near to exhaustion by the insane schedule Porsche demanded. The man himself probably hadn’t slept much either if the bags under his eyes were any indication.

When Khun Kinn walked through the front doors, the whole building seemed to breathe a sigh of relief. Everyone tried to hide it but it was audible and Khun Kinn definitely took notice.

He held a meeting with the top bodyguards as soon as he returned, wanting a full account of everything that had happened while he was away, and his eyebrows narrowed when he took in the sight of the banged up men before him. Big felt his shoulders hunch at the palpable disappointment in his eyes.

“What happened?” Khun Kinn asked, his eyes trailing from Pete’s bandaged knee to Ken’s arm in a sling to the bruise on the side of Big’s face. “And why was I not informed immediately.”

The door shut behind them firmly and Porsche stalked past the line of men. Kinn’s eyes went to him immediately, his face brightening even as his eyes raked over the man, likely looking for injuries. “Porsche-” Kinn cut off with a huff when Porsche shoved him back onto the couch. He stripped off his jacket and bundled it into a ball and dropped it onto Kinn’s lap. “Porsche?”

“You asshole,” Porsche muttered. “I haven’t slept in five days.” He dropped onto the couch himself and laid his head on Kinn’s lap. “Continue,” he mumbled as he made himself comfortable.

Kinn stared down at him with a too soft look on his face even as he started carding a hand through Porsche’s hair. When Porsche was asleep not one minute later he looked back at the bodyguards in front of him. “Porsche?” He asked with a smirk.

They looked to each other before all looking to Pete. He nodded slowly. “He was uh-”

Kinn laughed. “Take two days off,” he told them. “I’ll be staying close to the house so there’s no need for everyone to be on duty.” When he looked back down at Porsche, it was in clear dismissal and they took no time in obeying.

#kinnporsche #kp fic #my fic #somewhat inspired by today's side story

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pettyrevenge-base · 1 year

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Bully me in school? Better believe I'm not gonna break rules for you.

This happened in the early 2000s.

In middle and highschool, I was bullied a lot specifically by one girl. She was absolutely awful to me and I hated her for it. She ended up getting pregnant at an early age, like 16 or 17 and dropped out of school.

Right after highschool ended, I was 18 and a shift manager at a local grocery store supervising cashiers, placing them on register, running around to get things for people, and making sure the checkout lanes were running smoothly. One of the duties was to process food stamps, EBT, and WIC checks when they came up; they needed a manager override.

One day, (we'll call her "Jessica" because that was her name and she was a cunt) Jessica comes into the store with her toddler and another baby. I noticed her come in because the entrance is near the cashiers, sneered to myself, but whatevered and went back to work. About 30 minutes later, one of the cashiers turns their blinking light on meaning they need assistance. I head over and there is jessicunt with her groceries and WIC checks.

With WIC checks, you had to buy very specific items listed on the checks, such as milk, baby formula, bread, cheese, etc. and they are good only up to a certain dollar value AND there were often multiple checks so you would have 5 or 6 separate transactions for one person, processing them individually and needing an override for each one. They also had expiration dates. It was a tedious step by step process and we had to follow all the rules.

I have never judged people for using benefits; if someone needs help, they need help and I don't care. However, I definitely judged people named Jessica that made my life hell in school (but not for using the WIC program, just for being a shitty person).

The cashier starts to ring through the first order and it was a little awkward because Jessica definitely knew who I was and here I am helping her. I don't say anything to her at all, just wait until the cashier is done with scanning. I go to process the check through when I notice that the check is expired by about a week. I look through them all and they're ALL expired, about 5 of them. I say to her that the checks are all expired and we can't run them through (which is true, we can't, they would not have been honored and the store would be just giving her all of those groceries and I would be in deep shit if I let it go through).

She proceeds to flip out. I actually felt bad because her kids needed that food but couldn't get it due to their mother's incompetence. She starts saying we can run them through and that we've done it before (yea, no, we haven't, you CAN'T). I explain why we can't. She gets louder and says the only reason I'm not doing it, I shit you not, is because she bullied me in school. Man, what a vindication it was that she admitted being a shitbag just to try and get her groceries.

I explain once more and she asks to see my manager. I'm frustrated at this point because she is making a scene and people are looking so I say "ok" and go to the office to get the front end manager. I explain the situation to the manager, which isn't an unheard of problem, but the tantrum part is a bigger deal to the manager.

Manager comes out, says I am correct to her and that we cannot make an exception. She continues to be loud and blaming me for not running the checks through. So my manager says "it's time for you to go." Yelling the entire way out of the store without her groceries, I just started to load up her cart and prepare it for restocking.

I felt bad for those kids for their shitty mother and I don't wish that upon people that need food, however I will cherish the moment that an absolute shit person fucked up, admitted to being a shitty person in order to try and get her groceries, recanted and blamed me for her ineptitude, and had to eat shit for being shitty and late with her checks. She did it to herself and I feel no remorse for her whatsoever. Jessica, if you're reading this, fuck you.

Tl;Dr bully from school waited too long to cash WIC checks, couldn't get groceries at store I worked, flipped out, removed from store.

Also, I'll add that I am not dwelling on being bullied in school anymore and I used more colorful language for the sake of the story. Being bullied was just a thing that happened and I'm over it.

Source: reddit.com/r/pettyrevenge

#pettyrevenge #lol #omg

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this-is-ally-and-im-confused · 2 years

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I was just Yknow thinking. Imagine carter being in charge of laundry one day, you were busy but needed this one dress. So Carter, being the cutest says “I can do it! You taught me how!”

So you say… “Okay… just remember not everything goes in. Separate the colors and whites.” And he’s like, “Duh.” But subconsciously writes it down.

Then as he’s doing it, he comes across a sock, to him it looks like it’s a gray/black. To you? It’s quite literally red. (Typical I know)

He throws that ish in there. The cycle finishes and he opens the washer feeling so good then bam. His face goes from “I’m great at this” to “What the fuck have I done?”

Because everything he SWORE was white (like you’re pretty sundress you intended to wear) was now a different color. He’s not sure what color. But it’s not white.

He panic calls G, in desperate need of non color blind eyes, in desperate need of an adult. “G, man. I fucked up. I fucked up bad.”

G thinking the worst, rushes over expecting to see like - the place RANSACKED. No it’s just carter in his laundry room with pink laundry.

“G! THANK GOD. What color is all this??? It was white when I put it in there. But now it’s not? I don’t know what I did. Y/n is going to kill me.”

G can’t help but burst into laughter and comes close to tears. “Dude that’s all pink. You definitely threw something red in there.”

Carter is freaking out. “No I didn’t!!! Everything was white and neutral!!!” So he digs through and pulls everything out. “See???”

G smiles at his adorable colorblind child goalie and plucks out a sock. “Red sock dude.”

Carters eyes go wide as FUCKING SAUCERS.

_________________

Later you come home.

“Hey my beautiful, sweet, amazing, smart, talented girl!” Carter beams at you.

You put your bag down, “Hi… are you ok?” And he just beams more and nods. “Yup. Totally good. How was your day? Great I hope, if not EXCELLENT.”

“It was ok. Had a lot of work but it was productive.” You say suspiciously

“Right, ok. I can’t do this. Look, y/n/n I was doing laundry-“

“Oh boy.” You say. Carter pauses and shrinks into himself. “I was doing the laundry and well… a sock I thought was a grey or black… turned out to be red. BUT ITS OK. Because honestly, the sundress you love looks great pink! I like it better that way. It’ll look even better on you, you look great in everything, but-“

You begin to laugh, and laugh, and laugh. Carter sits there not knowing what the f*** to do. “You’re so cute C. It’s ok. Really, you’re right. It looks better pink anyway.” Carter lets out a deep breath he had no idea he was holding and hugs you. “Thank god. From now on, you do the laundry and I’ll do it only when I have supervision.”

Ok, that’s all. That was on my mind. Had to share it with my Ally bear 🐻

That’s what I’m calling you now. Unless you hate it. In which I will change it.

I will take Ally Bear🐻only if I can call you Hartsy Gal✨

I LOVE THIS IDEA!!! I also love asskissing carter. It made me WHEEZE. i could totally see this happening. Leave dudebro to dishes and vacuuming PLEASE!! It’s the only way your whites will stay white.

Also I picture now having to help dress carter or else he would be putting a green shirt under a red suit jacket and purple pants.

You’d walk in at carter, laugh, and say “babe, you look like a skittles packet.”

He’d be so sad.

“You make my heart go skittles colour.”

#send in requests #send anything #ally loves hockey #ally is bored #my amazing moots <3

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abcdosaka · 17 days

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had a pretty hard time at work last week. got my period + i got chewed out by that one guy again (probably the fourth or fifth time by now) bc i didn’t communicate something well. the deadline is next week, which i didn't know about, and he wanted to have this completed last week and now its pushed to monday probably. it was my fault and i’ll admit that. but the truth is i just fucking hate talking to him. if he wasn't so completely intolerable to talk to i wouldn't mind it as much but holy shit. what a seriously hateable guy. i was watching a video earlier today and i got a little annoyed because the person in the video had similar features to the guy.

he always talks over me and doesn't let me finish my thought or question. he does this to everyone it seems worst with the women in the office

he definitely thinks i'm stupid. whenever i ask him a question he's like ok clearly i need to dumb this down for you (not exact phrasing of course but that's basically what he's saying). like no wonder i don't fucking like asking him questions

i feel like he regrets choosing to hire me. i know they wanted to hire someone a bit more experienced and i'm not like i just graduated. but to be quite honest in my interview i fucked up bad like i could barely answer the technical questions but i did express a desire to learn. so idk i feel like that's not really on me

our personalities just don't match at all. honestly i used to try hard to be laidback and able to handle anyone but it just kinda made me a pushover. when i assert myself with this guy he just gets mad. this always happens like every single time i try to assert myself bc i'll admit it, i'm a shy chick, i'm on fucking tumblr so no shit, but i hate hate hate the feeling of being steamrolled over.

his management style/expectations just make very little sense to me. like he's always pointing out stuff i should've done when i'm showing him results. or stuff that i didn't even think was my responsibility. he's kinda all over the place when giving me instructions, he's always skipping steps and then making me feel stupid for not being able to keep up. it gives me such imposter syndrome

all of this combined with the fact that he's super smart makes him pretty intimidating. and the fact that i have to mainly work with him bc he's the only other (specialized in my specific field at the office) is seriously like.... tough shit for me.

i'm not the first person to feel this way. two of the other junior employees said they really didn't like working with him. one of them even said she straight up couldn't deal with him bc he was so mean. she also said that the company is def aware of this but they're not great at responding to it.

the pm i'm doing one project with (which he was kinda supervising) was like yeah he's super intimidating and honestly not a fun guy to work with but he's a hard worker and will work to get stuff done. that's great that he's like the backbone of the company or whatever but that actually makes me a bit more mad. it's like when the patriarch of a family is trash but you can't say anything bc "oh he's holding it together he's the breadwinner". it just feels like it's being held over my head a bit. we couldn't have someone nicer in this position?

worst part is i can't just say he's a shit boss bc he's not wrong. like i said (his favourite words btw), he's chewed me out a lot over my communication skills and i get that i need to improve that but he just really gives me anxiety. plus he's told me good work over some stuff a couple times. (always with a caveat of course lmao). and i haven't been as fast as i know i could be bc i try to figure shit out by myself since i hate asking him questions, end up spinning my wheels and having to ask him anyway, and then he tells me i should be faster. which yes i totally could be if you weren't a piece of shit!

like people don't do things for no reason especially not me. maybe dumb reasons yes but not no reason. and i know what kinda things motivate me to actually thrive in a workplace. that is to say, i vibe with the carrot, i don't with the stick. i dunno i'm normally not super affected by it bc i really don't give a shit if he hates me on a personal level unless it affects my job but (this was on thursday evening when work was ending) prob bc of my period it really got to me this time and i cried on the way home and i was on/off crying yesterday. my eyes were soo puffy it was bad.

idk how long i'll last here. i really do kinda like working here (well i like 3 people and the rest i could take or leave) but i basically uprooted my life to be here. not that i'm mad about that bc i had very few friends back home and living at home was genuinely getting intolerable but it was a big decision. i don't want this to be a sunk cost scenario. but yesterday i was genuinely thinking like is this worth the stress? should i stay here for at least 4 years like i planned or stick it out for a year and get tf out?

i'm gonna try to be stronger and have more confidence bc i don't think he's the most unreasonable person ever. maybe i'll be petty and overcommunicate way too much and like tell him what i'm eating for lunch and shit bc at least it's fighting back somehow instead of being scared. (i'm not actually gonna do that. wish i could) but i'm not sticking around for much longer if things don't change. i just have no idea what to say or how to point it out esp if it's already a known issue. i do sorta feel supported by a couple ppl but...that has never been me, i've never felt strong enough to confront men like that. i guess if i do end up trying to leave, key word trying, i need to be really discerning during interviews. at least i have some leverage since i actually have a job now. as long as i don't lose it.

i was probably really upset bc this has been building up inside me for a while and my anxiety has taken over a lot thanks to him but i don't think its the worst situation to be in considering i'm new and i've only been in the office for like a month now. i just hate that i feel so associated with not meeting deadlines.

i also think i was kinda upset bc this dude is a lot like if my dad wasn't my dad but my boss. my dad is an alright father but if he wasn't personally related to me i wouldn't like him. getting yelled at by my dad was always terrifying for me as a kid so when my pm takes on that annoyed loud speaking tone all the fight in me just dies its embarassing. they're both really critical. neither of them can take a joke especially from a woman. plus they both smell bad like i forgot to mention this but holy moly they smell the exact same and it is MUSTY. oh and they're both asian. different parts of asia but whatever.

anyways like i know i can handle this i literally worked for that bitch karen in highschool and i was even less confident back then. plus i know i'm not stupid i graduated with a degree in this field and did 6 internships.

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