hmmm i’m going on a nature walk because i have the time and the warm jacket for it, and maybe I will pack a picnic! but in the meantime if you’d like to poke tk a little @parameddic that’s where I will be and whose things I will be hand-writing when I get a spare minute. be safe be well be warm!

Oooohh, now I want to ask after your last Gus post--what accessories would you give different cats if the show let them have more props?

I don't necessarily think all the cats need props, persay (though it’d be cute if, say, Jemima had the little spikey bracelets or the psychic twins did some crystal ball juggling/passing and had bells around their necks or cats like Etcetera had big floppy bows) , but the song ones having costume props (not necessarily set props because that gets relied on way too heavily - the revival shows shades of that) would be a lot of fun. Heck a lot of older and non-replica productions *do* give them a solid prop here or there to play around with or add even more personality to their looks - that's fun in itself!

I'd love for Tugger to go even further into the 80s hair band/glam metal meets Elvis Presley meets Mick Jagger type angle - a band on the upper arm of some kind (either chained or another bandana - mirroring his leg bandana on the other side), the larger rings on his hands (pinky ones at least), stud the boots or keep the hush puppies/creepers, and keep the "T" some costume iterations have on his collar but hang it down lower, if that makes sense, to mimic the "choker long necklace" combo with his collar (like the TCB necklace). If they could get a ring on the tail without it becoming a harzard or overweighing it, that'd look really cool (they could with rope tails for certain). The double hoop earing sewn into one ear on the wig would be great (the dangled one that was more popular wouldn't quite work but the George Michael earring on Tugger would be ace). I also would love a pair of disposable sunglasses for him to enter in and play around with; toss them off stage after he gives his initial "If you offer me pheasant..." or "If you set me on a rat then I'd rather chase a mouse". I'm always partial to the leather jacket but I think his costume already shows enough shades of that with the way his ruff is put on - maybe put some rhinestones on a separate song ruff right down where the zipper would be just for some pizazz.

I'm already a big proponent of giving Skimble the Oxford glasses, and give him an *actual* pocket watch attached to that chain in his vest. Also the movie giving him a little whistle was great and should be transferred on stage too! The slender whistle hanging just under his bell would give another interesting shape to his shirt front. Give him that little telling silver flask on his hip - and a tea cup is already mimed but a real one would be cute if they could time it well!

Jellylorum could have a little knitted shawl ala the Italian tour; a little conductor baton (Munk having a little conductor baton or a pocket watch would *also* be very cute). Let Asparagus keep Gus' little red song scarf over his ruff for a wink wink nudge nudge. Gus and Old Deuteronomy should both have their little walking sticks because they canonically need them (make them different to illustrate a difference between them as individual characters - Deuteronomy's being more organic - almost like an ancient looking tree - and Gus' being straighter and more "modern" looking, having been used as a teaching tool first and foremost before it became an aid). And I'd love for them to give Gus the little spectacles as well (or even mirror the Bustopher Jones and G***ltiger counterpart and just give him the left eye monocle) just because glasses actors would have a field day with that one. The Yorik skull from the animated film concept art is extremely on the nose, but that'd be a lot of fun too - giving him something to reminisce with *and* echo something sad as well.

Jenny needs her bow back and maybe a knitted bag to keep her little things in. Jenny's a busy hand type of person; keep that needlepoint and knitting and card deck in there and when she'd idle for long periods have her whip those out). Giving *her* a little silver whistle on a chain (in army style) too seems very appropriate. Tuck it under the pink bow - maybe give her something echoing a military ranking or insignia in place of a collar tag (considering we couldn't put it in the usual places without it looking off). Give a nice little contrast in visible personality. I also would love for her to wear a little hat ala her Gumbie cat costume; just something small in those shades to echo throughout. OR or have her wear Bustopher's flower tucked behind one of her ears the rest of the show - pin in on in a quick change during Mungo and Teazer's number.

Mistoffelees should go back to his OG Japanese counterpart and have tricks up his sleeves - literally. Give him the scarves and the baton "magic wand" that turns into flowers - a baton twirling Misto always works, idc what anyone says. Stage managers probably hate this one, but bring back the tossing/blowing confetti/glitter from his palms (and keep the white palmed black gloves attached to the suit). A slightly floppier black bowtie he can actually grab and adjust like the little smarty he is. Just something fun and flashy that he can do before he gets into the meat of his solo to warm the audience up.

I think boas during the Macavity number are *also* great little touches. Give Demeter and Bomba those more often. Teazer should keep her pearls throughout (pin them to the unitard so they don’t swing around and hurt anyone). Just little small things here and there.

Fantasy ROTTMNT Fanfiction:Do Not Go Gentle:Prolouge

Summary: We were beaten by Draxum, the   Unbreakable Baron. He took our Donnie from us. Now there’s nothing in the Hidden Kingdom that will stop us from getting him back. Sequel to the Broken Butterfly

Characters: Leo, Donnie, Raph, Mikey

Rating: Currently E

  Overall: T (for later chapters] (note I’ll be sure to rate each chapter individually and give each one trigger warnings pertaining to that chapter for people who want to read the story but want to avoid the angst and violence coming up )

Pairings: Oh? You want to read the story and ship everything  including the trees? Go right ahead you just have to get past my ““ship guard” *points to dragon lying in front of entrance to story wearing a bib that says ““shippers only diet”

Take a step back, before Draxum stole Donnie from his brothers, before their adventure began. Before their adventure, after all everything has a beginning

                                                         (#)(#)\/(#)(#)

Prince Leonardo Pumpington Cuddle Wuddle Baby the Twenty-Fifth awoke as he always does. With a minor headache and more tired than when he laid down twelve hours ago despite sleeping on a triple sized king bed under the fluffiest blankets made from only the finest endangered species. He pushes up his eye mask and waves off the Choir standing by his side that acted as his personal alarm before sinking once again into his soft warm bed. Staring at the ceiling and mural of himself winking. Leo made sure to wink back with finger guns, as was his usual morning ritual. He was content to lay in bed for the rest of the day (which wouldn’t be unusual) when the large ornate double doors swung open. A familiar octopus stepped in with a wide smile but eyes that were forever nervous ,”Go-good Morning my Prince! Are you ready to wake up? Where would you like your breakfast?”

The prince stretched his overly privileged arms. He could always have breakfast in bed again, that thought was always appealing, “I‘ll eat in Dining Hall Three today.” He claps his hands together loudly. Two of the more muscular choir members quickly moved lift him out of bed, holding him over their heads like a religious object and carry him out of the room. The hallways are covered in beautiful rare oil paintings, but none of them held his attention until they pass by a large mirror. “Holdup,” he says waving his hand, the two attendants back up to the mirror again. Leo made sure to give his reflected self the self-appointed wink before snapping his fingers at an attendant who had doted alongside, “You go get my make up team and my manicure team. I refuse to look anything less than spectacular.”

“Yes of course my prince.” She she curtseys before hurrying off.  The attendants carrying him finally arrived in the large dining hall with a table longer than most roads. He was lowered onto a soft throne-like dining room chair before he clapped his hands together and another attendant, with a tray with an ornate tea pot came over with several ornate china teacups on the tray to see which one he’d want to go with his breakfast. He sipped one, “Too cold” he tosses the cup over his shoulder where it shatters on the ground. “Too hot” he tosses that one. “Too sour.” He tosses another, ”Too perfect...” he tosses again before letting out a large irritated sigh. “Go try again,” he snaps as that attendant runs off as well (trying their best not to step on broken pieces of fine china).

The prince leans back in his seat before a chef hustles out with a tray. “For you, your excellence!” he says lifting the lid off the tray and sets it in front of him, despite his already irritated attitude, he can’t help but smile at the delicious selection, the chef bows. ”Caviar Benedict, with a maple syrup glaze, a side of cinnamon churro asparagus and a glass of,” he sighs, “le Choccy Milk.”

“Aw perfect!” Leo waves off the tired chef.  It’s not long after he’s finally given a good pot of tea and he’s leaning back in his seat. He has two attendants giving him a manicure, with a third applying his make-up and a fourth  lifting his tea to his mouth while a fifth one is leaning precariously around everyone else to try cut his food for him. “Taki!” he snaps to the octopus servant, “I have a headache so clear my schedule.”

‘I-oh-uh.” Taki let out a tremble. “My Prince what about your Aetherwave show? You told your fans you would take a dive into a pool of diamonds today.”

Leo scoffed. “And I told you my diamonds are dirty, throw them out and buy me new ones,” he says, turning his head towards an attendant who snapped his fan open and began to fan him off, “Did you replace my ring yet?”

“You mean the one of a kind diamond sapphire ring made for you by the master craftsman Jair-Red? I-I was trying to tell you that he recently passed-“

The Prince snaps his head in Taki’s direction with such intensity the octopus squeaks out in fear “Then get the necromancer and tell her to make him make me a new one.” He thought for a moment to make sure he had said that right. “And make sure this one is clean. Unlike that last one,” he scoffs as he remembers how disgusted he was when he found that smudge on his seventy third favorite ring. So disgusted in fact he had wasted no time in yanking it off and throwing it out the nearest window.

“Um, yes my Prince, I’m sure NecroNancy won’t mind coming into work on her birthday.” Ending in a tone that implied NecroNancy would not only mind coming into work but would also be very cross about it.

Leo let out a loud scoff, his throat was actually starting to hurt from making that noise so much “That’s not my problem is it!?” he demands as though daring Taki to imply otherwise.

“Yes, right, sorry My Prince.” Taki moves down his list. “Um, that was all you really had. Other than your concert tonight-“

Leo levels the octopus with a angry look, waving off the attendant who had just finished his eyeliner. “ I just told you cancel everything.”

“No-now I would your majesty.” Taki avoids his burning yellow eyes by looking at his paper, “Your mother was the one who requested the concert. And-“ the octopus gulps,” I do not think you want to disappoint her, do you?”

Leo’s hand bumps lightly against his teacup. Though barely noticeable to anyone else, Leo was painfully aware of his mistake. He flexes his trembling hand before regaining his composure, “Well if Mummy wants it then who am I to say no. I don’t suppose she’ll be at this one either?” he asks.

“No, My Prince, I'm sorry.”

Leo hides his disappointment by inspecting his new manicure, looking for a flaw to point out. Unfortunately, they were done to perfection. With a surge of irritation, he claps his hands together. “Leave me be!” he commands, “Go get my preparations ready.”

The staff bowed as they left, bumping into each-other as they hurried away to do their assigned tasks. When they were gone from sight, Leo sighed and leaned back as much as he could in his high back seat with a cup of tea in his hand before drinking from it.

He had gone three years without seeing his mother

What was another three to her?

                                                               (#)(#)\/(#)(#)

Leo spent the rest of the day in preparation for his concert relaxing in a gold water bath which took all the tension out of his body. Investing all that money to invent gold water was the best small fortune he had ever spent, (even if it was highly toxic to drink). A day of pampering and relaxation nearly killed off his sour mood. But before he knew it, while being fed diamond-grade gold grapes, Taki was reminding him of his recital.

He knew his mother had probably already picked out a recital outfit for him, but until then at least  he had a choice in what he would wear to the event. And for him it was his favorite aqua formal coat over a his white button up shirt and two toned pants with spats. He needed help from Jabot to put on his ruffle tie and pendant but other then that he was fine. The attendants loaded up any excess jewelry he would need between the recital and the parties afterwards.

Unfortunately, the platinum diamond carriage was being re-diamonded so he was stuck with the gold diamond studded carriage. He tapped his foot boredly  before flipping out his mystic mirror, twist a flash, he knew it was connected to the Aetherwave, which was at its strongest at the castles. “Hello my fibbly fabulous subjects, it’s your beloved and beautiful Prince, Leonardo Snuggly Wuggly the Twenty-Fifth, here to tell you of an upcoming recital featuring,” Leo made sure to tilt his head to catch the mystic sun on his cheek, “Yours truly, I hope you can all make it, though I doubt it. I’ll be sure to pay someone to describe it in full detail when I return.” Leo blew a kiss at the mirror before hanging up.

“Um,” Taki tapped his tentacles together. “My prince, please we talked about you broadcasting just before you leave. It's very dangerous you don’t want your enemies –“

Leo squeezes his eyes shut snapping his fan shut with such intensity that it interrupts Taki with a small squeak as though he understood how close he was to getting on the Princes last nerve. Leo turns to Taki with a large smile. “Taki, Taki, it’s Taki right? I’ve known you foorrrr…” Leo trails off in a way that leads to Taki to add, “E-ever since Big Mama brought you home.” His nervous face half hidden behind his clipboard as though it could somehow protect him.

“Right, right. A while, and maybe in this time I may have made you feel.” Leo danced his fan as though trying to conjure the word he was thinking of, “Comfortable? So as a Pirnce, it's my job to remind you.” He taps his fan on Taki’s forehead, “What does it mean to be a prince?”

“It-it means you’re one of a kind.” Taki stutters, “a a gift.” Leo gestures for him to continue, “a superbly burbly light from the stars.”

“That’s RIGHT Taki, very good.” Leo clapped his hands like one would clap at a dog on its hind legs, “I’m a a gift, you’re lucky enough to be able to be graced in my presence every day. And you.” Again, Leo’s fan taps him between the eyes, this time with enough force to make Taki step back with a tremble, “Well, there are millions like you. So, while I'm irreplaceable, that means there are millions of yokai who could do your job in your sleep, so you are….” Leo again trails off, gesturing for him to continue. Taki’s eyes filled with a sadness that Leo barely notices, as the octopus lowered his tear-filled eyes, “replaceable.”

“Very good Taki! Such a smart man!” with a final tap of his fan on Taki’s head, Leo climbed up into the carriage, a guard pulled the door open for him. He gave finger guns to the guards who sat in the drivers spot and on the back. Leo was about to swing in when he saw a massive brown dog sitting across from his would be spot.  Ugh,” he groaned, “Gus what are you doing?”

“Heya Prince!” Gus said happily, either oblivious to Leo’s disgust or just not caring. “Big Queen sent me here as extra muscle but you’re cool with that, right bro? Course you are!” The dog tore open a tin of bone shaped cookies he had brought along and began to tear into them without any dignity or manners. Leo scrunched up his beak before pulling himself in. Snapping open his fan to try and get the smell of “peasant” off him.

It wasn’t his fault they were all poor.

                                                                (#)(#)\/(#)(#)

Thanks to the best magic available the inside of the carriage kept the interior at a perfect temperature, judging by the shivering peasants working out in the fields, but thankfully that’s what curtains were for. Leo spent most of the journey looking through the dance recital choreography his mother had picked out for him. Why she bothered to do that he didn’t know. Tapping his foot in rhythm and trying to visualize what illusion would go best with the moves. He’d have a little time to practice before the event but he often did his best work on the fly. So eventually he gave up. At that point there was a heavy shadow against the curtain telling him they were passing a forest now. Leo was half asleep when the smooth ride was interrupted by a jarring hit and they came to a stop. He grabs the door to keep from flying forward as his anger swells back. “What is the glimbering meaning of this?!” he demands scooting towards the window. ”I swear if you make me late I'm throwing you all into the Battle-“  he goes to throw the curtain open when suddenly something heavy slams against the door. Leo drew back in shock as the carriage rocks heavily. He grabs at the framework to keep from falling on the ground. Before he could say anything, Gus was scrambling for the door. ”Don’t worry, your highness!  I’ll protect-“ But a moment later the door was thrown open and his bodyguard suddenly was yanked from view and thrown aside.

A cry of surprise escapes Leo, he scrambles for the door he was presses against and after a few frantic seconds manages to get the door open and fall out the other side just as he felt a hand grab at the back of his shirt. The prince rolls on the ground for a moment, surrounded by the sounds of combat and shouts. The neat clean purple guard of the Matriatch locked in a struggle against several larger dirty looking thugs that Leo could only assume were bandits when one of them turns and points at him, “There’s the Prince!”

No!

Kidnappers.

For a moment Leo hoped they were referring to another devilishly handsome prince when all eyes fell on him. Leo looks to his fallen guards in hopes that are just pretending to be horribly injured but judging by the pained groan of one of them lets out when one of the kidnappers steps over him he knows it’s a pipe dream. “Thanks for the Aetherwave video, kid,” one of the bandits with a crooked jaw says. “We had just about given up on getting you before you posted that. Now how about you be a good boy and don’t put up a fight.”

Leo would like to think he would have been brave if he had ever been in a life or death situation, but his trembling body betrays that dream as well.  But if he knows how to do anything, its talk. He musters a chuckle that he hopes is more humor then fear. ”Really? You geniuses thought coming after me was a good idea?” He puts on a wide grin as easy as a mask, “I am Prince Leonardo Snuggly Wubbly Baby the Twenty-fifth and I –“

“Um.” One of the bands looks off to his friends in confusion. “Wait that’s your name? For real? That’s just tragic.”

Despite himself, when the bandits start off laughing (he’s even sure he can hear one of the guards chuckling weakly into the ground) he blushes angrily, “Excuse me, you are criminals! I don’t except any of you to crimdididly criminals to understand a name of high society. Or someone of my power.” He snaps his fan out hard which suddenly fills the air with bright sparks with such intensity one of the bandits stumbles back in shock. He couldn’t help but feel satisfied at their awe and fear. “I am a master Mystician. I have trained with warlocks and wizards whose very power could turn the world inside out.  And you honestly think you have any chance of challenging me!?” He threw his free hand upward as a light explodes from his fingertips licking the air like a mighty firework that makes the bandits stumble back in shock in order not to be touched by the magic.

They are so enamored by the display, it takes them a moment to notice that Leo is, in fact, running away as fast as he can in a manner that not only raised the question if he had ever run a day in his life or even walked (like a deer that not only just realized they had legs but were on backwards).

Leo’s hands fumble for his panic broach at his throat while looking at the bandits who were just noticing his disappearance when his graceful toe caught on a large root and sent him hard onto the ground. The broach flying from his fingertips and sinking into a mud puddle. “Who put all this nature here?!” he shrieks in panic. He can already hear the bandits running after him, Leo hurries to his feet and turns towards where he had come from. Despite his panic he summons bright silver lights to his finger tips that he swipes through the air, creating a crystal web across the trees in the path. But not wanting to wait to see how long they would last Leo ran again, before he hears the crystal shatter behind him and sends. Before he can react a rock hits him hard in the shell, knocking him forward snd rolling across the hard ground, his only saving grace was the hard tree in front of him that stops him but sends pain shooting down his shoulder, causing him to cry out and hold the injured appendage. He turns to press his shell against the tree as the bandits are now far too close to his liking.

“You know what, your highness?” The square chinned bandit says. “That was a good try. Probably not the best escape attempt I’ve ever seen but definately the funniest.” The other bandits chuckle around him as he raises up the muddy remains of Leo’s Panic Pendant. “Maybe if you were actually as great as you think you are, then you might have stood a chance.”  His rough hands crushes Leo’s only hope before dropping the pieces to the ground and stepping froward, reaching towards him with the same sinfully dirty hand.

Leo turns his head away, anything to spare him the sight of the hand coming closer to grabbing him-

Something whistles through the air followed by the sound of impact and something hitting the ground hard.  Leo lowers his arm in time to see something jump over his head and land hard against the bandit in front of him with both feet, sending the Yokai flying. The interloper ducks underneath a bandit directly to his front that tries to punch him and plants his staff hard in the ground, vaulting over and sending a bandit flying back into a tree. The interloper swung his staff up into a defensive position. The impenetrable shadow of his raised dark plum hood stole his features from Leo sending a shiver down his shell , but he could assume that when he jabbed his staff at the  bandits it was a warning to go on. One of the bandits go to grab the leader when the interloper aims his staff at the unconscious bandit leader. Before he uses his toe to kick his money pouch up into his hands, before nodding at him. The bandits grab their leader by the ankles and run off into the forest after his friends.  After that, the interloper opened up the drawstring pouch and began to poke around inside.

It took Leo a moment to realize his life was no longer in danger, and that relief was swapped by a rage, “What took you so long?! I thought that Uncles Rangers were the best warriors in the kingdom,” he snaps. The interloper head tipped in his direction for a moment before going back to count the money in his bag. It takes Leo a moment to realize he’s being ignored and swells up his chest as he stomps in the interloper’s direction, “Don’t you ignore me! I thought I was dimbly done for!!! I am the Prince; my safety is your only priority.”

For the first time since he arrived, the interloper looked fully in his direction, his face cast in shadow by   his hood as though finally acknowledging his presence. He almost seems frozen at the sight of him, a fact Leo took to mean he understood his failings. “Thats right, when we get back to the castle I'm going to make sure you are thrown in a dungeon-“ Leo didn’t have a chance to finish his threat before the hooked staff appeared again and caught him around the ankle.

The moment his head hit the ground his world went black.

                                                              (#)(#)\/(#)(#)

It feels like a life time before Leo opens his eyes again and when he does he’s welcomed by a splitting headache. He instinctually tries to rub his head only to find his arms have been bound with his wrists behind him. Not painfully but it is enough to make him glare at the figure sitting against a tree several feet in font of him. Now Leo can see this figure lacks the fine, if plain, tunic of a Ranger. He’s wearing poor peasant clothing that seems to hang off him, wrapped in a dark plum cloak, the only indication of his skin came from his bare two-toed green feet and fingerless gloves. He’s watching Leo from his spot with his arms over his chest. If Leo hadn’t known better, he would have thought that he had fallen asleep. Except, even though Leo can't see his face, he feel his eyes on him which only adds to his anger and irruption. He can’t actually tell how much time has passed only that they are not in the same clearing as they had been a moment ago but a more secluded spot, where the mushroom trees where much closer together.  “Excuse me?!” he snaps. ”What is the meaning of this?!” he demands. “You're not a ranger, are you?! You’re just some- some, weirdo living in the woods huh?!? Huh!? Do you want a ransom too!!??” he demands. A part of him is almost desperate for a response at his point.

“I don’t like to waste my words.”

Leo blinks. He had thought the figure might have been close to his age, but to hear his actual voice still shocks him. The thief falls silent again, drinking from a tin cup that smells like cheap old coffee that Leo can smell from here.  The thief stands up and-spins his staff around his hand again lazily. “The truth is, I haven’t decided what to do with you yet. Ransoming you out won't do me any good, I'd live the rest of my life with a target on my back. Which isn’t ideal. I could rob you I guess, but I'm not sure I want it brother myself with stuff that smells so flowery. But that’s if I wanted to be professional” The thief dumps his cup out by his side. “I could just take everything you have and dump you in the deepest darkest part to the woods.“

At first Leo wonders if it's possible to have a heart attack from fear alone.  But at the moment his heart seems determined to try. Kidnappers were one thing; he had been warned about them his whole life. But this person didn’t sound like they were all too interested int that. This sounded more like—

Leo blinks, his eyes going to the hooked staff that hasn’t left the thief’s side. Though the twisting hooked wood is nothing special to him, other than a dark gray handle at the end that seemed to summon the weapon, he sees a dark crystal hovering inside the hooked circle at the tip. The purple with a hint of pink is achingly familiar and the moment he recognizes he had owned it he can't’ help but let out a full-on laugh. It brings him no small amount of satisfaction to see the Thief look in his direction again. “I get it, you’re one of the orphans Mummy threw out before me,” he sneers. “Awwww you poor thing. Jealous that Mummy saw you for the worthless unlovable, pieces of trash you are? Is that it, little boy-“

The figure is in front of him in half a blink, lifting him up by the front and slamming him hard into the tree behind with such speed that Leo cries out in panic as dark pink eyes burn into him with such intensity Leo could feel the red hot rage about to be unleashed on him, “You know, you’re right?” the Thief says in a way that almost makes Leo think he’s sneering, “Since i’m  a no one.” He twists the shirt up tighter in his hands, “Then I got nothing to lose-“

Before Leo could see his life flash before his eyes, there's a flash of red energy and the Thief jumps away in in time to avoid a giant fist red of energy swiping at him. In the time it takes Leo to hit the ground, the Thief summersaults underneath another giant hand and snatches up his hooked staff and roll to his feet. A giant bulking figure jumps out from the tree line, sliding across the ground before coming to a stop.

“Comet Farts!” the Thief gasps.

Not that Leo could blame him, the figure now standing between him and the Thief was more muscular then any of his guards, a large snagle tooth hanging from he mouth and  with a thick  that would put a tree to shame, Leo had seen snapping turtles before but none that big. He was wrapped in a black cloak and grey traveling gear, his head is marked off by a red bandana that’s fixated on the Thief.  “In the name of Captain Jupiter James Guild, you are under-arrest for kidnapping and grand larceny and-“ The giant snapping turtle looks to his hand, Leo could just see a list of crimes the bounty hunter hand written up his arm, “And-and just a lot of other things-“ but the bandit had already turned and fled into the forest, “HEY!” The turtle shouts, “No, you're under arrest! That means stop running!” the giant runs after him, before calling, ”Mikey make sure the Prince is ok.”

“Don’t just lea-“ There’s a rustling to Leo’s right that makes him shriek out in surprise before, what could only be described as, another turtle slightly younger than himself pokes his head out to the bushes, “Don’t worry your highness! I’m a fan! Me and Raph are here to rescue you!” before climbing out of the bushes, revealing his dirty mud-covered body and old patchwork orange clothes.

Leo shrieks again.

This time for different reasons.

“No don’t you dare touch me! You’re filthy and you smell like a bird-“ There's another crashing sound, the thief almost crashes into Leo (who gave out his, what felt like, hundredth shriek and leapt out of the way.) The Thief hits the mushroom tree before falling into a crouch position. When he drags his hand across his face, Leo could see blood stain his sleeve.

The one who had called himself Raph stepped out of the forest, cracking his neck from side to side. “I’m sorry I hit you. I don’t want to fight some kid,” he starts, “If you turn yourself in maybe they’ll go easy on you-“

The Thief visibly grips his staff tighter, he reaches into his pocket and tosses a small brown bundle in the air that he smacks with his staff in Raph’s face which explodes into red dust. The bounty hunter cries out as he stumbled back, scrubbing at his face with his forearm before the Thief was on him jumping up and planting his feet hard against him like he had before with the bandit. Raph, though blinded, twists away and brings his elbow up to knock the Thief hard in the head.

The impact makes the Thief hit the ground before Raph’s foot found its place on his arm that held the hooked staff. The Thief squirmed trying to free him arm, “I’m trying to help you here. I was trained by the greatest hero of the Hidden-“

The hooked staff in the Thief’s trapped hand suddenly flashes and shrinks into the handle, with a limited room the Thief manages to toss it his other hand where it reforms and he swings hard, knocking Raph in the face.  The Thief rocks back to his feet. His closed stance shifting to a wide one as he swings his staff around, Raph’s arms came up and crossed over his face as red energy covers him again flaring under the hits as the Thief spins around and rains a few smacks on his sides before swinging his leg up with a side kick to the stomach. Blindly, Raph swings his arm around and knocks him hard in the head.

The Thief flew back hard against a mushroom tree, his hood fallen back to reveal a dark jade green complexion wrapped in a purple bandana, blood running from where his nose would be as he snarled angrily at the Bounty Hunter before jumping at him again.

The turtle that had been called Mikey let out a small whine, “Raph, the Prince won't let me untie him because he thinks I smell.”

Raph had somehow pinned the Thief around his chest, but judging by the strained look on his face he wasn’t going to keep it for long as the two struggle around. ”Don’t distract me, I'm working,” before pausing “And when was the last time you had a bath that wasn’t just you standing in the rain?”

Mikey opened his mouth to respond before lifting his arm and smelling his armpit, judging by the grimace on his face he had just answered his own question. Leo squirmed away from the filthy turtle, in fact he was so determined to get away from the filthy turtle that he didn’t see the Thief slam his head back against Raph’s face, forcing the bounty hunter to drop him and the two opposite turtles collapsing against the other.

Then.

A breath.

The one known as Raph ran forward with his hand held out probably to pull the Thief off him, but as he took a step closer a small wave pulsed from him. Like a gust of wind, ceasing the chaos and shouting and bringing silence. An invisible force catches him by the front of the chest and pulls him upward into the air, causing him to cry out in panic. He looks around and sees the same thing happening to those around them. Even the scattered leaves and stones are caught in the air as though reality in that moment had taken a break. Each of them caught in some sort of invisible suspension.  A heat started at the back of Leo’s eyes and burned forward like an inferno. He squeezes his eyes shut in order to try and stop it but his eyelids are forced open, revealing golden eyes with white flecks radiating from his eyes as the world suddenly turned white. He lashes his arms and legs out around him stupidly to try and grab something when he notices a person standing in front of him, outlined in a green flame with yellow eyes staring right at him, though there aren’t any real characteristics, Leo can tell it’s a human of sorts with a large pompadour. It reaches up to touch him but he can't’ help but flinch away, whether out of fear the fire would burn him or the stranger itself he doesn’t know. But then the figure tilts his head to the side as though saying ‘I understand’.

Before Leo could say anything, he’s not even sure he could in this state, the figure suddenly twists into itself and takes the shape of a five-petal lotus flower before burning away. Then he hears a man's voice behind him, as though something is whispering to him

“Come find me.”

As quick as it all starts, it ends. Leo hits the ground hard and gasps loudly, rubbing at his tear-filled eyes as he looks around him. Too shocked to yell, but he can tell he’s not the only one confused. Raph had already pulled himself up next to Mikey to check on him, who’s now rubbing ineffectively at  eyes streaming with tears. The Thief is several steps away, as though eh had thrown himself as far them as possible, and is checking his trembling hands as though making sure they weren’t about to explode on him. But after a few glances at each other, as though reassuring themselves they had all experienced the same thing. They had one question for each other:

“Who are you?”

Part 2=>>

1034

survey by tater-tots What is a fruit that you might eat in the morning? Hahahaha. That’s a pass for me; I can’t imagine regularly eating fruit at any set time of the day.

Do you enjoy any food combinations that others might consider to be weird? I like to eat fish with mayonnaise, which was always normal in our household but I realized was weird when I first saw the horrified expressions on my friends’ faces when they saw me use the combination. I like mayonnaise with a lot of other foods as well, which a lot of people generally find weird.

What is a green vegetable that you enjoy eating? Broccoli and asparagus.

Name something you might find in a salad. In my salad, you’ll always find tuna sashimi in it heh.

What is your favorite type of sandwich? Anything that’s like an Eggs Benedict or Monte Cristo. 

Which condiment do you use the most often? Mayo, for sure. Banana ketchup too. I also like sriracha sauce but my dad hasn’t been buying a new bottle of it for a while. 

Name a chocolate bar that you enjoy eating. It’s called Whittaker’s - just not sure what country it hails from; maybe Australia? - and I like their peanut butter variant. Google also told me it’s a New Zealander brand.

What is a meat that you do not eat - ever. Dog or cat.

Are you lactose intolerant, or have any other sort of food allergies? I’m mildly lactose intolerant but I ignore it because a lot of my favorite foods use dairy. Other than that, no food allergies.

What was the last food that you burnt your mouth on? Just plain rice, haha. I had been extremely hungry and I just wanted to dig in; but I ended up spitting it back out.

Which brand of soup do you eat? I don’t regularly have soup, much less buy canned brands of it. 

What are some flavors of ice cream that your enjoy? Cookies and cream, mint chocolate, coffee, chocolate chip cookie dough, queso real.

What is the best type of cookie, in your opinion? I like keeping things classic when it comes to cookies, and I’ve always been perfectly happy with chocolate chip cookies :)

Would you rather have popcorn, pretzels, or chips as your salty snack? Chips. I dislike the other two as I only like the softer, doughy version of pretzels.

Have you thought about going on a diet & actually went through with it? No.

--

survey by pinkchocolate

When you woke up today, was there anything on your mind? Kinda. I felt sad and I was aware of it instantly, compared to most days where the sadness will take a while to build.

Who was the last person you interacted with for the first time? Literally speaking, maybe the barista at Starbucks who took my temperature at the entrance before I was let in the store. I interacted with her yesterday.

What colour was the wrapper of the last snack you ate? White. It’s more of a tiny bag than a wrapper, though.

Do you have a favourite mug to drink from? What does it look like? Yeah, I’ve since claimed my mom’s mug for myself. It’s a copper mug with the Starbucks label on it. It looks super minimalist which I appreciate.

What was the last thing you used, that came in a spray can? It was a Lysol spray.

What colour is your favourite bra? Don’t really have one.

Who was the last person you went to for advice about something? I think it was Andi. I’ve been going to them a lot for help, advice, extra sanity, etc. lately. If it hasn’t been for them I probably would’ve left a few months back.

Have you had a deep conversation with anyone lately? Yes. I finally met up with Gab yesterday to discuss a lot things, iron some stuff out, figure out where to go from here.

What was the last compliment you recall receiving from someone? I’m not sure, I haven’t been receiving any.

And the last compliment you gave to someone else? It was most likely a compliment for Andi on how helpful they’ve been to me.

What kind of bread did you eat most recently? Flatbread.

What was the last sound you heard, that you found pleasant? We were watching a mass livestream earlier and I was delighted when they played the closing song.

How many books do you think there are in your house? Take a rough guess. I would guess around 60, the overwhelming bulk of them mine.

Of all the books you own, which do you think has the most pages in it? It would definitely either be Gone with the Wind or Les Miserables, but I’m not sure which one is thicker.

^ And how many pages is that? I checked both of my copies and they’re soooo close – GWTW has 1,440 pages while Les Mis has 1,463.

What was the last film you saw at the cinema? What did you think of it? Knives Out. I went to the mall yesterday and the cinemas were still closed, so it’s not like I’d be able to watch new movies at theatres anyway. Anyway, I’ve been vocal about the movie enough times on my surveys but I didn’t enjoy it. Whodunnits were never my cup of tea, but Gab had wanted to see it and I didn’t want to make her watch the film alone.

In the last book you read, what was the main character's name? Haven’t been reading.

What was the last song you heard, that meant something to you? Lose by Niki.

How many people do you know whose name begins with Z? I can only recall one such person at the moment; it’s one of my mom’s aunts who also doubled as a principal sponsor for my mom and dad’s wedding.

What do you expect to be doing at this time tomorrow? Maybe doing my embroidery (my package finally arrived!!) or surveys or watching Start-Up, because tomorrow will be a holiday :)

--

survey by luckforlemmy

Did you start listening to more Michael Jackson after his death? I can remember that there was definitely a brief period after his death that I caught up with his discography and listened to MJ nearly everyday; I read up on him and his life as well. 11 year old me figured he must’ve been an interesting figure because of the big reception around his death, so I wanted to know the reasons behind it.

When was the last time that you played hide and seek? I can vividly remember the day when Nina and I played hide and seek when the house was newly-built and still devoid of furniture, back in maybe ‘07 or ‘08. I’m fairly certain that was the last time I played hide and seek.

Who was your first celebrity crush, if you can remember? It was a tie between Ashley Tisdale and Zac Efron, though the older I get the more I’ve been convinced that I ‘crushed’ on Zac only because I was surrounded by girls who went crazy over him in school. I’m pretty sure my first real celebrity crush was Ashley, hahaha.

Do you worry about money? Yeah, especially now. I can’t even enjoy my first paycheck because most of it’s gonna go to Christmas presents, but oh well; at least I can finally buy gifts for my loved ones who’ve always gotten me presents.

Have you ever had to beg for a second chance? Kind of, when I was trying to convince Gab to let our relationship have another shot four years ago. Beg is a strong word for what I actually did, though. It was more of me pitching the idea, not begging.

When was the last time that you sent an actual letter through the mail? I don’t think I even ever did that, not even when I was younger and snail mail was still kind of a thing.

Are you excited to return to school? There’s nothing to return to anymore. Unless I decided to take up a post-grad course in the future, I’m done with school.

Do you hate Internet abbreviations? It can just feel a bit jarring when they’re used excessively in a single sentence, but I honestly don’t mind it for the most part. It’s understandable especially now that most, if not all, of my interactions whether personal or for work happen online.

What was the last insult you gave out? I was never really the roasting type of person, not even towards my friends.

What'd you last look up on YouTube? Hahaha I looked up ‘skynwallz.’ I was looking for the episode of Rhett and Link’s vlogs where they painted the rooms of their offices in the color of their entire person – hair, eyes, and skin. They were joking about starting a new business for it called Skynwallz, so that’s what I looked up.

Are you texting someone really awesome right now? No, I prefer to be alone today.

Do you know when to be serious and when you shouldn't be? Er sure, it’s not that hard.

Do you think that you're funny? I like my sense of humor, yeah, but I know it’s not always going to translate to everybody’s tastes. For example, I’m still figuring out the dynamic in the team I was put in at work, so I can’t make the same jokes that I would normally say with my co-interns with whom I have a more comfortable relationship.

Have you ever sent a secret to Post Secret? I don’t know what this is, so no.

What movie do you really want to see in theatres right now? They aren’t showing anything at the moment. A movie I want to see badly, though, is Ammonite.

Have either of your parents shown affection for you today? My mom made breakfast for us, if it counts. She also gives each of her kids a kiss during the peace-giving portion at mass, so there’s that as well.

What's the last thing that you sang out loud? I watched Start Up before this survey and was humming to the song that was being played at the end of the episode. I couldn’t sing along to it because it was in Korean, but I knew the melody so I hummed.

Is there a word that you always misspell? Rhythm is one of my worst enemies for sure. I also have a love-hate relationship with accommodate.

What was the last thing that you bought that someone else benefited from? I met up with Gabie yesterday and bought her her favorite meal from Yabu to break the ice – menchi katsu with brown rice. I originally got mozzarella sticks for myself but when we got to talking, she mentioned her sisters at one point; I remembered how much I miss them, so I gave up my food and told her to just give my food to her sisters since I hadn’t touched it yet anyway.

Has someone ever made you a really great mix CD? Andi gave me one before she made the flight to New Zealand 10 years ago to permanently live there. I believe I still have it, but I’m just not sure where it currently is.

Have you ever been on Omegle.com? Yes, when I was a teenager and it was new.

Did you talk to someone cool there? Not really; most seem to exit our chat after we did the whole asl thing. I also avoided the webcam option because my anxiety for video calls has always been present.

What song reminds you of your best friend? Any song by The Maine.

Who was the last person to hit on you? Some creep on Facebook.

What's on the paper nearest you? It’s the guide for my embroidery kit. It tells me what stitches to do and the colors of thread to use for the different parts of the template I was provided with.

Do you have a set of lyrics that you really love? From Paramore’s Pool: “As if the first cut wasn’t deep enough, I dove in again ‘cause I’m not into giving up Could’ve gotten the same rush from any lover’s touch, But why get used to something new When no one breaks my heart like you” I scream those lyrics every time they come on. I know I often showed the good, shiny side of my relationship on these surveys; but it was very much toxic at a lot of points and those lyrics - and that song - served as a nest for me, something that told me someone understands how I sometimes felt about my own relationship.

Did you get an A in your last English class? I got a 1.25 instead of a perfect 1.00, but I think that’s still equivalent to an A so yes.

What did you last use scissors for? Cutting thread.

Did you ever secretly hate a friend of yours that thought you liked them? That makes me sound shitty lol, but yeah I’ve acted nicely to people I don’t particularly like.

What do you think of when I say "boat"? That episode of Friends where Joey bought himself a boat at an auction; and Canadian accents.

Would you ever get a tattoo sleeve? Nope. I planned on getting one as a teenager, but I grew out of that phase.

Do you know any really fake people? Yep. I think everyone’s got to be at some point.

What does the last blanket you used look like? It’s pink and has multi-colored polka dots on it.

Do you have appreciation for graffiti? Sure, especially if it’s for political purposes (that I agree with).

Why don't you drive? I do. I just have done it a lot less because I have had little need for driving and traveling to places throughout the pandemic.

Does it annoy you when your printer runs out of ink? I think we have the kind of printer that never runs out of ink, but I’m not exactly sure about the terminologies or how the technology works. I let my sister do the printing hahaha.

Have you ever drank anything from a thermos? Yes, mostly water and coffee.

When was the last time you played in the snow? Never.

Do you know any ignorant people? Sure, mostly Gen X-ers and Boomers.

What is the coolest name you've ever heard? Thylane.

What did you last argue with someone about? Relationship stuff. It wasn’t a full-blown argument, but when Gab and I talked yesterday it was natural for us to disagree on a few points.

Is there anyone that you dislike for no real reason? Hmm, I don’t think so. If I feel that strongly about someone, I usually have a reason otherwise it wouldn’t be fair to them.

Have you had a good day? It was okay; it was nice. I got to do my embroidery hoop art thing, got to watch a couple episodes of Start Up, played with Cooper, and now I’m doing these surveys and am planning to continue my embroidery later. It’s nice to feel productive about non-work things :)

Are you going to have a good night? I hope.

Hello! I'm a new fan so I haven't read all of your fics yet but I love the way you wright! I was wondering if you would do another Luke/Percy/Octavian fic. I was thinking maybe Luke and Tavy are really annoying everyone so matchmaker!Percy gets them together to make them more bearable but neither of them want to submit as they are both more dominant. Percy then has to find them a cute sub but he is oblivious to the fact that he is perfect for them. You don't have to do it but it would be great x

Percy grinned when he saw Annabeth and Rachel sprawled out on the couch in the praetors' house. That in itself wasn't too rare; the Greek people in power usually always stayed at the praetors' when visiting New Rome. It was all a part of improving relations between Greeks and Romans.

"What's with the long faces, Jay?", asked Percy curiously.

The praetors, Jason and Reyna, sat opposite Annabeth and Rachel, with equally irritated looks. That was also not too rare. It was a lot of work trying to make Greeks and Romans work together. Sure, they had, on a very small scale worked together during the Giant War – three Romans and four Greeks, while the other Romans and Greeks were nearly fighting an all-out war of their own.

So after the war, the leaders' priority was to work together, to find common ground so Greeks and Romans would be able to aid each other. And that was not easy, because the average demigods already had their reservations, the senate and the council of cabin heads respectively were even worse. The only ones who seemed to share one mindset were the actual leaders – Annabeth Chase and Luke Castellan on the Greek side and on the Roman side, Jason Grace and Reyna Don't-Say-Her-Full-Name (Percy had done that once and his lower back still hurt just thinking about it). While not actually leaders, the Oracle of Delphi and the augur were highly respected and high ranking in their own rights, so Rachel and Octavian usually were a part of the negotiations.

"It's Octavian", grunted Jason pointedly.

"And Luke", added Annabeth with her head tilted back.

"And the fact that they're not fucking", supplied Rachel.

"Rachel", groaned Reyna and made a face. "Why would you make me picture that."

"What? I'm just saying what everybody is thinking. They are so busy posing and growling at each other and puffing their chests", snorted Rachel. "It's hijacking most meetings at this point."

"Oh. You think they're... into each other?", asked Percy surprised.

And okay, the four identical pointed looks he received at that were nearly insulting. "You are literally the last person to learn. They're doing this annoying alpha-thing of showing off, only that it's not working because they're both alphas, which is highly unusual in our society."

"Yeah, Reyna's right", agreed Jason with a shrug. "Alpha-alpha relationships are... not common."

"They're rare even in our society", sighed Annabeth softly.

Percy tilted his head thoughtfully and okay, he couldn't think of any alpha-alpha couples either – Clarisse was an alpha while Chris was a beta, Beckendorf was an alpha and Silena an omega, Grover a beta and Juniper also a beta. Huh. He furrowed his brows before sitting down between Rachel and Annabeth. Rachel was a beta, while Annabeth was an omega just like Percy. Luke and Annabeth were the leaders of the Greeks, had been way before Percy had arrived at camp. When Kronos started rising, Luke as the Greek pack's Alpha had stood protectively at the front lines.

When the Giant War happened and Hera thought to memory-wipe and kidnap the Greeks and Romans' power-houses, leaving Jason very confused at Camp Half-Blood and an equally confused Percy at Camp Jupiter, meant to unite Romans and Greeks. How that made sense still beat Percy, because honestly kidnapping and memory-wiping one of the strongest heroes who saved the gods' asses seemed more like unnecessarily antagonizing both camps and only making them suspicious of each other since they didn't even know about each other. Taking the leaders and maybe like not memory-wiping them before putting them together to talk and get to know each other somehow seemed far more effective to Percy, but what did he know compared to an oh-so wise goddess.

"Wow. I can even feel when he is sassing in his head", whispered Jason amazed. "Who were you sassing, Percy? And stop getting distracted, we were in the middle of complaining to you."

Percy rolled his eyes and stuck his tongue out at the other omega. For the Romans, Jason was the omega in charge and Reyna the alpha. Percy liked them both, he thought they were doing a great job at leading the Romans, just like Luke and Annabeth did for the Greeks. Percy? He... wasn't much of a leader. That wasn't really his cup of tea. He liked recklessly running into danger, fighting monsters, being free of rules or breaking them, not being the ones to uphold them. Urgh.

"Well, I mean, we just have to make them hook up, right?", shrugged Percy casually.

"...Sure. Just", grunted Reyna pointedly.

"Leave that to me", chimed Percy mischievously. "You, concentrate on uniting Greeks and Romans at large. I'll... unite that Greek and that Roman in particular."

"This is going to be a disaster", muttered Rachel.

"...Are you saying that as the Oracle of Delphi?", asked Jason warily.

"I'm saying that as someone who has been friends with Percy Jackson for years", stated Rachel.

"I feel so personally offended", muttered Percy with a pout.

/break\

"...Percy, if you don't open the door, you're in a world of trouble", grunted Luke irritated.

"And why are there candles everywhere? This is a fire-hazard, Perseus", growled Octavian.

"It's a candle-light dinner, you idiot", huffed Percy from the other side of the door. "You two are driving everyone crazy with the UST so I have concocted the perfect plan to solve it."

Luke cocked one eyebrow and approached the table. "...Oysters with asparagus... a bowl of figs... strawberries and chili peppers covered in chocolate... This is a very odd meal."

"Perseus, did you simply google 'aphrodisiac food' and serve what you found?", asked Octavian.

"Shut up and eat. There is also red wine and...", grunted Percy, pausing to press play on the remote control for the music player inside. "...romantic music. Now enjoy your first date."

He had lured Luke and Octavian there with some lies about another leader meeting. Luke turned to grin amused at Octavian. He had to admit he had been flirting with the augur for weeks now. The taller blonde was hot, everything about him – the British accent did things to Luke, the dominance he displayed, the way his mind worked. Luke got some more comfortable.

"What do you say?", asked Luke. "After Percy went through the trouble of making us dinner?"

"I wouldn't call this a dinner. It looks like an indigestion to happen", snorted Octavian.

Luke chuckled, though his grin turned more mischievously as he bit into a strawberry. It took Octavian only another moment before he joined Luke at the table, filling the wine-glasses.

"It would be a waste of good wine", offered Octavian after a beat.

/break\

Percy was very proud of himself as he walked into the praetors' house. It had been two weeks now since he had gotten Octavian and Luke together. Today was the first big leaders meeting since they got together and Percy wanted to gloat that he had fixed the others' problem. However, when he walked into the living room, the scene looked eerily familiar. Rachel, Annabeth and Reyna were sitting on one couch, while Jason was dramatically draped over the other, all looking irritated.

"...I fixed your problem", pointed Percy out with a frown. "Why do you still look annoyed?"

"Because all you did was shift the problem", muttered Annabeth. "Sure, the sexual tension has now been... cut. What you didn't calculate for was that they're both alphas."

"...Yeah no I don't see it. What about that is a problem?", asked Percy.

"They're both very dominant personalities. So now they take their foreplay into the meetings", explained Rachel, making a vague gesture. "They growl even more, posing and fighting for dominance during every single argument. Even less willing to back off than before, because backing off means admitting defeat, means submitting. Neither is willing to submit."

"They seem happy about that... relationship", muttered Jason, trying to cheer Percy up. "But maybe they'd need, you know, an omega. This is why alpha-alpha relationships don't work."

"Rarely work", corrected Rachel pointedly. "But yeah."

"You tried your best, Percy. But maybe we're just... doomed", chuckled Reyna dryly.

"No. No, I'll fix this", declared Percy seriously. "And I already have an idea."

"...This is going to be a disaster", sighed Rachel, looking at Percy.

"Talking as someone who's been friends with Percy for years?", asked Jason teasingly.

"No. This time as the Oracle of Delphi", huffed Rachel, motioning at Percy.

/break\

"I am somehow expecting the worst when you stand in front of my home with a... clipboard in your hand, Perseus", noted Octavian unimpressed. "You're interrupting."

"I... I can... can see that", nodded Percy, distractedly staring at Octavian's bare chest.

"Are you checking my boyfriend out, Perce?", teased Luke amused. "What do you want?"

"I'm not checking Octavian out", huffed Percy with a glare and red cheeks. "And I'm here on official, important business. You two alphas with your chests puffed out are annoying everyone."

Luke and Octavian raised their eyebrows as they looked at each other before turning to Percy. Though the son of Poseidon simply pushed past them and went to the living room. He took in everything that was thrown over, the clothes lining the way to the couch.

"Yeah, see, this is what I'm talking about", stated Percy, motioning at the broken vase. "You're being unnecessarily destructive in your whole... you-ness."

"Our us-ness?", asked Luke amused as he and Octavian followed Percy.

"Yeah. You both have self-destructive tendencies and you're both used to being in charge. You're both dominant personalities", stated Percy, tapping his pen against his clipboard.

"That's... a fair assessment", admitted Octavian after a moment. "Very well. We'll hear you out."

"Ever heard of a triad before?", offered Percy mischievously. "Let's add an omega to your relationship, someone willing and happy to submit, to ease both of you."

Octavian drew his brows together even more at that. "...That is a rather... logical solution."

"If you could like stop acting so surprised that I'm not in fact a total idiot?", asked Percy dryly.

"And here I thought you'd be taking it as a compliment", said Octavian pointedly.

"Why would I? I know I'm clever. I'm like the only person who knows that", huffed Percy, giving Octavian a look. "Someone acting stunned that I'm not an idiot is not a compliment."

"You're not", stated Luke with a serious look on his face as he sat down next to Percy and laid an arm around his shoulders. "You're not an idiot and you're not the only person who knows that. I know how clever you are, Perce. I've been teaching you and mentoring you and seen you during your missions and the things you come up with."

"That's why you're my favorite", declared Percy with a smirk.

"Get on with your idea, less schmoozing", muttered Octavian and rolled his eyes.

Percy stuck his tongue out at Octavian. "So I made a list of potentially fitting omegas, both Roman and Greek. I figured you two could... just... try. Dating them, or hooking up with them."

"That's... You put a lot of thought into this", noted Luke with a small smile. "Thank you."

"Of course. You're one of my best friends, Luke. I want you to be happy", shrugged Percy.

"Now, can you leave again so Luke and I can go back to what we were doing...?"

"You're such a horny bastard, I think you may actually need two lovers", snorted Percy. "Have fun."

/break\

"Okay seriously I am growing tired of everyone just looking absolutely miserable in the living room", grunted Percy annoyed as he entered Octavian's mansion.

He had learned lock-picking from Luke and when no one opened the door, he just entered. Only now did he consider that they could have had sex and not opened because of that. Huh.

"Your plan was a disaster", growled Octavian displeased.

"What? No. I found a perfect line-up of compatible omegas who'd be totally into you", huffed Percy and crossed his arms. "It anything, it's on you. Seriously. How did you fuck up?"

He sat down between Luke and Octavian and listened to their complaints about what went wrong with each and every single omega. Too submissive, not submissive enough, shallow, didn't give good comebacks, was too morally upstanding (which, actually came up twice, once by each of them), was too crooked, had an obnoxious laugh, was too tall (apparently, both did agree on wanting a short omega who could be nicely tucked under one's chin. That was... oddly specific but who was Percy to judge; he had been single for literally all his life now), too Greek, too Roman.

"Okay, okay, okay, I've had enough!", interrupted Percy exhausted after two hours.

He was laying between Luke's legs, leaning back against Luke's chest, with Luke resting his head on Percy's for comfort. Octavian was sitting opposite them with a thoughtful look on his face.

"So, any grand suggestions, Perseus?", inquired Octavian.

"Give me time. I'll come up with a better list. Now that I know what you want", declared Percy.

/break\

Over the following three weeks, Percy was a regular guest at the Simmons estate, mostly just to hear Octavian and Luke tell him how every single date they went on was a disaster. They ate while they talked, were sprawled out on the couches comfortably. Occasionally, they even cooked together. Luke and Percy had quite the good rhythm with each other. Sometimes, they'd even talk about other things, Luke and Octavian running official business by Percy to get his opinion. The thing was, not just Luke, who had kind of always done that even at Camp Half-Blood, but also Octavian. Octavian Simmons asking for Percy's opinion and actually listening to it. That was how far they had come. Percy even kind of moved in; what with summer ending, his stay at the fifth cohort ended – training was only during the summer, otherwise the kids and teens did have to attend school and such. So Percy got to stay at the fancy, large Simmons mansion.

So, naturally, Percy was really frustrated as he laid on the couch in the praetors' living room after the next meeting of the leaders. Because as much fun as he had, he was acutely aware that all his plans had backfired so far and thing worked out. He was invested, he wanted it to work out. He wanted Luke and Tavy to be happy – Luke always called Octavian 'Tav' but considering Octavian was constantly calling Percy 'Perseus', this was kind of his payback.

"Wait. Why are you looking miserable laying in our living room?", asked Reyna surprised.

Percy tilted his head up and looked at Reyna, Annabeth, Jason and Rachel walk in. All with... smiles and easy expressions on their faces. Wait. This was odd. Percy frowned at them in confusion.

"Why aren't you?", countered Percy slowly and sat up.

"Because your plan actually worked", offered Annabeth. "You were right. They are more at ease, they joke with each other and agree on things, instead of posing."

"But...", started Percy, his confusion growing. "...Never mind. I..."

He got up and walked out, aware that the others were looking at him funny. With determined steps did he head back to the Simmons mansion, where he was indeed greeted by Luke and Octavian laughing in the kitchen. When Percy walked in, even before he could open his mouth to interrogate them, Luke pulled him in to scent-mark him and nuzzle his chin into Percy's hair. Once he let go, Octavian offered Percy a blue cupcake, to which Percy reacted by purring softly in delight.

"We got pizza and on our way, I saw these in the bakery. I thought you may enjoy them."

"Aw. You big softy", teased Percy pleased and bit into his cupcake. "Okay so, who is it?"

"Who is what?", asked Luke as he set the table, handing Percy plates.

Without words, they easily worked with each other to set the table for three. "The omega with whom it worked out. The others said you finally stopped being super bossy alphas during the meeting. So, which one actually worked out? I thought you hadn't gone to any dates in like... a week at least. Is that because you met the right one before that...?"

At that, Luke paused and turned to look at Octavian. While Percy finished his cupcake, the two alphas had one of their no-words-needed conversations. Percy arched one eyebrow at them as he took a slice of pizza – with pineapples and peppers, just how he liked it. Well, okay, the first time he had ordered it was solely to mess with Octavian's head, but honestly, it was pretty damn good.

"Perce, the reason we stopped going on the dates you set up and... probably also why we are more at ease is because of you", stated Luke softly, reaching out to take Percy's hand.

"...I don't get it. I a mthe reason you went on those dates", pointed Percy out.

"Yes. And you're the reason we stopped", sighed Octavian. "You are the omega who fits perfectly to us. You're mouthy and cheeky, you give counter and your honest opinion, you're not shallow or dumb, you're powerful and strong, but... actually, with us, you've been submitting too."

"You're perfect for us", agreed Luke with a smile. "That's why we stopped looking. And you... over the past few weeks, you have already become a part of our relationship. You have already been balancing us out, even if we weren't really fully together."

"...Oh", grunted Percy stunned and sat fully down.

"That's why we didn't say anything", chuckled Luke, his smile turning kind of sad. "I expected, after everything – and with the age-difference – there is no way you'd want to... be with us. You have your fair pick of alphas to choose from, absolutely everyone."

"I...", started Percy and frowned at them. "Uh... don't know about that, but I... I think you are right that... I might have become... kind of a part of your relationship without noticing. And I think... I like that. I've been... really happy lately. So... if you'll have me, we could give this a try? Together?"

"We'd... like that, Perseus", agreed Octavian, his voice unusually soft.

"Huh. I told Rach and the others I could solve this. And I did", grinned Percy pleased before he pulled each alpha down and gave each a quick peck on the cheek. "Man, I'm good."

How to lose 30 kilos in 6 months and love every minute

Part 1 > Revelation in France Three years ago, my wife and I decided to call time on our marriage. It was a sombre final chat in the kitchen, sharing the last bottle we might ever share. We were sad but it made perfect sense. We’d tried. My wife said she’d move out down to her parent's house in the country and she asked me what I'd  do, I picked something random from the top of my idiot head and said “Spain.” “Spain?” she said and “Spain” I repeated. No idea where it came from. Maybe I just wanted my departure to be more triumphant, a little more exciting than moving in with parents. Whenever we’d have a fight, that’s what she’d do. I'd run my consultancy for twenty odd years and over that twenty odd years, my role had evolved into taking clients to lunch, dinner, shows and spectacles.  Nice if you can get it but it took its toll on my fitness. By the time I drove off to the Channel Tunnel, I was eighteen stone and I hadn't played a meaningful game of football in years. For some reason, a revelation always hits me a while after the event, more autopsy than eureka. Something that seemed so clear suddenly fogs up in deference to the new truth. Of course she was right, idiot. You always knew that. “If you can’t respect your own body,” she said. “How can anyone else?” And there it was. Respect your body. Respect your mind. Fitness. Breathe new air. Everything is going to change. If my automated blurting of “Spain” was taking me to Spain, then let it be Spain. I would return  triumphant, slim, toned and sleek and everyone would say how awesome and happy and better-without-her I was. I was more than halfway from Calais, driving to a small French town called Île de Ré, an island off La Rochelle on the West Coast. I remember the exact spot because the signs had shown their first direction to Le Mans. From that sign, 300km shy of my target, facing three more driving hours, I lost a lump of time I can’t account for. The next thing I knew there were signs for La Roche Sur Yon. I remembered it from my planning stage because it was pretty close to where I was headed. The sat nav confirmed I was suddenly only an hour from Ile de Rey in what seemed like a blink. I couldn't tell you why it happened and I have no idea what, if anything, I was thinking in the missing time. What I can tell you is the clarity on the other side. My new start. My new energy. My mission. Maybe the universe had supplanted a new person into me. Maybe it took me time to reboot. It felt like it. At that moment, I couldn’t possibly have imagined anything else. I’d booked a little room overlooking the harbour at Le Colonnes. I was soon checked in and I unloaded laptop and cables to start the mission I hadn't quite fleshed out yet. 6 foot 1. 18 stone. I fumbled my finger over the Body Mass Index chart, into the blue, sailing past green and into the orange, and just before getting into the red, there it was. My number. My target. 32.  I was actually clinically obese. I needed to be 24 to fit into that little green zone of health and fitness. 25% of my bodyweight was surplus. This was a holy **** moment as I pulled back from the screen. I closed the laptop and swore foulness on that 25%. My mission had shown its numbers and my plan had started. That night would be the finest French cuisine a man can enjoy and the next day, everything would change. Part 2 > Mission Planning I woke up remembering Le Skipper in the harbour, the fillet steak with crushed pea purée and dauphinoise potatoes that would serve as my turning point.Something I wouldn’t deserve again until my mission was accomplished. I was still buzzed. Normally, revelations are flushed with the first order of the day but not this one. The morning  after a revelation is a test of human willpower. If you fold at such an early point, there is literally no hope for you. If the stakes are this important and you fold, you, my son, are an idiot. As one lady said to me more than once, “It’s not a rehearsal, boy.” I wasn't sure if I was still an idiot or not yet as all manners of sweet and savoury things greeted me in the  breakfast room at the hotel. Bacon, eggs croissants, jam, cheeses and hams, but hang on, my eyes focused on something else, like they were being moved by another force. The fruit section. Normally I'd  be starting a three course mini marathon under the guise of getting the day some energy. Today though, I took a little bowl and filled it to the top with melon and orange, mango, cherries and all colour of things and I sat down with orange juice and looked over at big people and little people, busy people and relaxed people. I knew I was on a different level to them, just for now, in the light still shining on me. Your willpower gets a serious shot in the arm. I had more research to do about the exact food groups I'd  need but I knew this was right. Then the first glimmers of insubordination popped up briefly and reminded me that I had a fallback and that fallback was called lunch and every day I had a fallback plan to the next meal. Maybe fruit wasn't enough, surely a bit of bacon and cheese? No, fuck off, I said, turning a head or two in the dining room. I gestured an apology and then I smiled at the last cherry in my bowl. I munched that little cherry up. There would be no bacon or cheese. Those dark little glimmers were crushed and squished and left pleading as I got up and left the room. I was smiling as I approached Bordeaux. Today's destination was about six hours over the Pyrenees to Pamplona in northern Spain. This is where they do the bull run every July. Basque country, and the Bordeaux signs told me I was about a third of the way there. The night before had included two bottles of Fitou. Le Skipper was quiet and the staff had time to chat. After dinner, I was pretty much the only punter there so they wrapped it up and took me to Bar Kokot with their Austrian Rum. So, there hadn’t been time to do the work I needed but what a fine farewell to my old life. Yet another sign flashed my licence plate and said I was going too fast and I anticipated a box full of speeding tickets waiting for me whenever I got back to London. But I didn't care. I couldn't wait to get to Pamplona and get the laptop out, make my plan. A few hours later I was in my room at the Pamplona Catedral Hotel doing just that. I already knew how much weight to lose. Thirty kilos, almost 5 stone. One of the first results, I found out about the Okinawa diet. Okinawa, a little island off the south of Japan has the longest living humans on the planet. Taxi drivers are ninety years old and still dance. People eat whatever grows near them and that’s it. One photo I saw was of an elaborate table. You could sit about ten people round it. The table was a tea making machine. A few strips of bamboo were hooked up to an inlet and brought mountain spring water into the table. Most of the water would trickle out and continue down the mountain, unsure of why it had been put through the bother,  but when you turned a little handle, the water would be diverted around a spaghetti of pipes and on towards the bowels of the table. It would slip and slide through channels lined with fresh tea leaves and elements gradually heating it up as it travelled. Turn one of the eight  little taps under the  table edge and you have a steaming cup of the freshest tea. So, the fine people from Okinawa told me how you could eat perfectly well and get everything a body needs. And you didn't need meat or anything processed to do it. My first culinary casualties. I also learned that my whole eating schedule had been wrong all my life. The best way to do it is to eat small but eat often. I'd  been so proud of myself some days when I was too busy to eat anything and had six tons of dinner at about 9pm. Wrong. The body is a sensitive little baby. If it doesn't get fed often enough it throws its toys out the pram and truly believes it’s starving. It then converts what you do eat into fat, sensible storage for a rainy day when maybe you do starve. How a brain can fail to tell a body that it’s ok, no-one's going to starve is beyond me but apparently it does. So, by the time I'd  showered and got ready to see what this former bastion of the Roman empire had going for it, I had successfully mapped out my new diet. And it was all the stuff I like to eat anyway. I'd  start with some fruit, in deference to the first successful morning. Then give it a couple of hours and a little low fat cottage cheese on a wholewheat crispbread, and a few crushed walnuts sprinkled on it. Before what was probably the main mini meal of the day, about two o'clock, it was exercise. My wife’s brother had told me the body prefers to exercise then eat as it’s still burning, rather than the other way round. Maybe A little tuna steak with bok choy, a bit of spinach, greek yoghurt and some kidney beans or chickpeas. Amazing things chickpeas, fibre and protein all in one little pill. It wasn't a problem designing these mini meals, the problem was there was too much choice. If you're going to have pasta, have wholewheat pasta. If you're going to have rice, have wild rice or brown rice and not too much of either. Your 5 or 7 a day is so easy to achieve and better. Let your milk be zero fat milk, let your greens be asparagus, broccoli, kale, spinach, artichoke, sprouts and bok choy. Eat nuts, almonds, walnuts. Eat pulses. Kidney beans, chickpeas. Prefer fruits of the forest over others, raspberries, blackberries and the like. Loads of antioxidants. And let your booze be anything but beer, predominantly white wine and a glass of red a day comes straight from the doc. All the stuff I already knew. Lettuce, peppers, tomatoes, celery, onion, garlic. Jesus I could do a meal planner for a month without getting bored.   This was going to be tasty. I could still love my food but carry that aloof grin that comes with a man shedding timber and having fun doing it. I'd  know exactly how many calories came with each mini meal and how much exercise to do to burn them off. The laptop was closed up and my phone map and I set off to explore Pamplona. The city is called Iruna in the native Basque language and there was an ever-present but subtle show of the independence from Spain the Basque people had been after for a long time. Basque flags were draped over balconies and stuck on cars but a local told me, do not take a flag out in public or you’d get carted off. One local comedian had added a bit of graffiti to a low wall, poorly translated as “Anything but a free state is just a load of bulls.” Back in the hotel room, I tackled the exercise aspects. Swimming would always figure, especially in Spain, but what else? Running can be high impact, shin splints and the like. It would be rowing. It’s got everything, loads of muscles getting tickled gently, great cardio and hang on here we go, I can get a machine for the house for a couple of hundred euros. I'd join a kayak club or some such but winter was on its way and even the Spanish winter doesn't lend itself to being in the sea. And that was it, a meal for all moods and occasions and an all year round exercise regime. When it was too cold to swim, double up on the rowing. Just make sure you get in some form of water as soon as you finish exercising to loosen up your muscles. I also learned how little anyone should need a gym (apart from my little rowing machine of course). We really do have everything we need around the house. First of all, a running machine? What? Just run around the block. If you want to run uphill, run uphill. Muscle tone is also important. If you’re shedding tonnage, you want the tonnage that’s left nice and tight. Push ups, pull ups, weights, dips, pec toning, ab toning and your core. You can pull up on anything, a couple of chairs, backs together, get your balance and you’re away. Climb something. I'd  start slow. An hour on the rowing machine, weights and core stuff and finally fifteen minutes of laps in the pool. It was all mapped out. That evening, I sat down in a little restaurant I’d spied earlier, down some steps to a little square, live jazz music in the middle. The menu didn’t have much of the stuff I needed and I’d definitely give the “grosse crevette” and “assaulted pasta” a swerve.   I wondered if this would be a problem going forward. I remembered many menus and I wasn’t sure many of them were fit for my new purpose. But then I saw the celery and walnut salad. Fine, little glass of chablis to go along and everything was still on track. Part 3 > Execution The next day around four o'clock, I arrived at my final destination. A little town called Javea, a hundred kilometres south of Valencia. Look at Spain. There’s a little nose about two thirds down the east coast. Tip of that nose. That’s us, pressed against the sea by the mountains. It felt like its own little island.   First priority after wandering around was the supermarket. Go get the super foods. My place was in Cabo la Nao right up on the point near the lighthouse. My mission hadn’t been created when I booked it, but with my new mission head on, the remoteness of my location would be a good thing. When I went outside to get back in my car, I was reminded it had just carried me from London to south east Spain. Over those 1800 miles, the front of the car had accumulated a second skin of unfortunate insects. Insects of all shapes, colours and sizes had become one single cloak of wonder food for any bird that took a fancy. And they did. A feeding frenzy was underway and even this one approaching human and a mystery cat that seemed to appear from nowhere couldn’t scare them off. They each had an allocated section of bodywork to pick at and they did well but still couldn’t get it all off. The earlier casualties were part bug, part Audi. The nearest supermarket was down in the Cala Blanca bit and was called Consum. It was the strangest supermarket shop I'd  ever done. A hundred euros of good healthy stuff. I'd  never put walnuts in a shopping cart. But I carried the same internal smugness of someone whose every passing minute is making them healthier than everyone else. It was a hot day and I knew if I didn't get it all fridged up quick smart, for the whole six months here, there would be a sea bass, salmon, octopus and monkfish essence in my car. The pool was warm enough not to have to thrash around like a perishing salmon and it was my first test of where I was fitness-wise. It was a fifteen metre pool. Breaststroke was the best all round stroke for  what I was after so I took off up and down. I'd  have to do this for at least 30 minutes every day so how close was I? I managed about 15 minutes and thought it was a good start for day one. My own salmon was ready to go under the grill and I was hungry. Baby steps. The house and garden had to provide me with my makeshift gym. Soon, I had two sturdy wooden outside chairs back to back for pull ups, a couple of buckets from the gardener’s shed filled with pool water. The rest would need no props. The push ups over there next to the pool and that little wall would do the ab stuff. Suspend myself on it and hold myself there for ten seconds, ten second break, repeat until knackered.   I had a little go at all my disciplines. The props held up just fine and my routine was set. There was only one thing missing and it would be the majority of my cardio workout. The rowing machine.   In five days time, it would be on my doorstep. I carried on with my eating regime and stepped up the swimming and workout aspects and on day five, the rowing machine arrived. It was lovely and orange and it went right where I hoped it would, between two columns on the terrace. Then I suddenly realised, apart from the supermarket on day one, I hadn't been out yet. The days had been formed around my mini meals and exercise and going out didn't sound as healthy as staying in. But I had to prove to myself I could carry on the mission in or out. That night, I did go out, met some nice folks, Lee and Tracey from Southend and a drummer called Hector, saw a band and drank white wine and had lubina a la plancha,  grilled sea bass, asparagus and a few slices of grilled aubergine, every so slight drizzle of local honey. My taxi got me home at a reasonable hour and I got out without that heavy feeling I’d get when I went out back home. Always too much beer and always too much red meat. I took a quick stroll round my makeshift gym and my new rowing machine and then slept better than I had for ages. Tomorrow, a full programme for the first time. The rowing machine soon got me sweating. The readout was like trying to wish away the miles in the car, watching calorie after calorie clock away, minute after minute. The machine was fine, nice and easy, smooth strokes, keep your back straight. Pretty soon I'd  done my hour and I took a break for water. The weights and pull up and everything else was becoming faster and I was doing more of them. By the time I got into the pool, I was feeling muscle burn and my heart felt reawoken. With the help of a great little tool called Supertracker, I had it all mapped out. Today I would eat 1200 calories and  burn off 2000. And so it was for the next couple of weeks. The cats started popping in to see what this strange noise was an hour every day and soon they stuck around for some cheeky tuna and I had one or two pusscats to talk to while I worked out. The hour a day on the rower needed a bit more entertainment than the readout. By now I knew my pace and you just have to finish the hour come what may. Being in my own head was amusing enough but I needed a bit more autopilot. The laptop was enlisted to provide comedy shows and every so often, this Spanish course I was taking. The hour started to go by like the missing time I'd  felt in La Roche Sur Yon. I was doing more miles to the hour, I was doing more laps in the pool and I was looking forward to every stage more and more. Pretty soon though, the pool became unswimmable so I got a wetsuit but that only really extended it a few weeks. My regime changed and I doubled up on the rowing. My daily meal plans were sometimes not planned, just cobble together the right food groups in the right quantities. Some of the taste combos were worth jotting down, others didn't really work but still, the scales in the bathroom were starting to show results. I'd got down to 100 kilos from 108 in the first 3 weeks. I couldn't believe the progress. I was never hungry, I felt great and the pounds were escaping with ease. I'd have this done in a few more weeks. I started a weight chart and logged as much as I could, something to be proud of. Then the rate of weight loss slowed. I checked the scales. How could doing exactly the same thing every day cause a different result? I changed the scales so that it seemed more of a dramatic reduction. A bit more research told me the scales were fine, the programme was fine. It’s just the first bit of weight drops off you because you're reducing your water retention. After that, you work just as hard for half the initial result. And don't forget, the programme is increasing muscle mass as well, which weighs more than fat. That's fine. So be it. This was the realistic rate. Months not weeks. And I was enjoying it. I was enjoying succeeding, winning. This wasn't so hard. A couple more weeks went past and still the pounds tumbled. Sometimes the reductions were erratic, same programme, 2 pounds off one day, half a pound off the next. I didn't really need to know why as long as the weight kept dropping. The thing was, I had been looking at myself in the full length mirror by the door every day after my workout before the shower and I still didn't look any different. I knew all the machinery and logic associated with my mission couldn’t all be wrong at the same time so I was pretty sure there would be a decent reason for it and so there was. What you’re doing initially is sorting out your core. That’s where you’re losing the initial weight and water. Your core is what’s getting beefed up and fit, out of sight. It made sense enough to a layman but you still like to see changes. And then it happened. My jeans had been feeling a little looser than normal for a few days and then I realised I needed the belt in another hole. There it was, the first sign. I couldn't confirm it from the mirror but this was incontrovertible. Maybe it was something psychosomatic in my head showing me something, but soon after that, I started to see some definition around my middle, not so much abs per se, just prepping the ground for them. The pounds kept shedding off my weight chart. I will freely admit, I did have one or two blowouts, the need for a kebab and a cold beer, and I knew the numbers would show it, but I was now not actually fitting into trousers and shorts and some shirts looked like nightdresses. I needed healthy persons clothes. I have never felt so happy about an impending cost. I looked good, like I did in my 30s. By the time four months had passed, my target of 80 kilos remained and I was only a couple off at 82. I had two months to drop that and I knew I would. I looked at photos of me in london 6 months before and it was incredible. I looked like a different person altogether. I looked tired, heavy, dreading the next flight of stairs. Warning. This is a pivotal moment. When you’re ahead of the curve and bossing it, its easy to entertain the notion that you can ease off a bit. Physically, you’re probably right but don't do it. It changes your mindset from achieving something to already having achieved it but it’s not yet achieved. Rabbit and the hare. Achieve it first, then reward yourself with easing off. I hit my 80 kilos with five weeks to go and the next five weeks kept me there. It was done. I'd  smashed the shit out that 25%. It was gone. I took off from Valencia and landed at Gatwick requiring second glances at my passport photo. Yes, folks that really is me,  just an awful lot more of me. By the time I wandered down the street to the pub, I'd  already decided I wasn’t going back to the UK for good. Spain was my home now. My mission, my new life was born on the French highways and realised in the Spanish mountains. I wasn't even really thinking of the reaction I’d get when I walked in. I didn’t need reactions. I knew what I’d done. Me and my water buckets, pussycats, rowing machines, the glorious island of Okinawa and singing, dancing Spain. The reaction was complete astonishment. Not just someone telling you you look well. This was holy **** across the board. My choice of a pink leather coat to mark the occasion drew its own conclusion but I was stronger and fitter and more vibrant in mind and body.  And I looked it and we all knew it. Life’s new plateau had been reached with a simple regard for my own well being. A respect for my only asset. And it was simple, inspiring and very enjoyable.

Day 1 - May ‘22 challenge

9th May 2022

I can’t believe I’m doing another one of these so soon after my last cleanse BUT I have been naughty recently, I am unfit, I still have a long way to go with my end-goal target weight, Kevin left for sea again today so why not? I won’t do a full-on, pics every day, in-depth writing kind of blog for 28-days as that’s quite intense and requires some stimulation for subject inspiration so I’ll keep it simple.

Last night I handed him the last of the crispy M&Ms and he offered me a few. I said no, I genuinely didn’t want them. “It’s a choice” I said, and it is. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again – it’s mindset, not willpower. Every challenge shows me something different about my mindset. Every challenge has its ups and downs. Every challenge ends in me craving Morrison’s own pitta bread! Maybe one day that’ll change? Maybe not, who knows. I would love to never crave carbs again, but I know why I do – because my body needs it. We need complex carbs to live. We need protein to live. We need essential fats to live. We need fruit & veg to live. We need water to live.

This morning was a challenge, simply because while making the most amazing roast dinner yesterday – oh my goodness, it seriously was the tastiest I’d had in a while! Venison injected with bacon fat & a sensational homemade rub by Kev & smoked on the BBQ, yorkies, dauphinoise potatoes, honey-glazed carrots using the last of the local raw honey our friend produces & fine beans, sugar snap peas & baby corn cooked in garlic butter with smoked sea salt. I’m salivating just thinking about it again. However, while making the dauphinoise, I sliced my finger on the mandolin and I’ve been in pain ever since. Using a knife is difficult and makes me think about how grateful I am that I have 5 fingers as it’s tough to balance and get a grip. I know people adapt but it certainly wasn’t easy cutting pineapple or apples, as quickly as I normally do.

Today’s green machine juice (it’ll do part of tomorrow too) 10 apples 8 celery sticks 6 asparagus spears Whole bag spinach (250g) Half bag Kale (c.90g) 1 Pineapple 1 Lime 1 Courgette ¾ cucumber Blended with 1 avocado

I had a massage booked (rescheduled from last week) in town @ 10 so I had to get up early to get Kevin his final cup of delicious tea made by me (I’m the tea queen, despite not being a tea-drinker myself), juice my day’s food, get ready and out the door by 9.15am. I managed it and was actually early for a change. I suppose I wasn’t really “getting ready” as I wasn’t putting on a full face of make up or doing my hair because I’d be having a shower when I came back as I usually ended up with oils in my hair and of course on my back, which I wouldn’t want to get all over my nice popsy dresses – I just wear clothes I don’t like anymore.

It was bliss, especially after being at the peats on Saturday. I had a sore back and shoulders after the throwing (yes I’m unfit!) and she found tons of knots in my muscles today, so it was such a great release when she got them out. However, I was driving Kevin’s classic Audi (Daisy) as mine was having its service and the heater is disconnected just now so it was torturous driving in the cold wind & rain in Daisy. By the time I got home, I decided against a shower as I needed a long hot soak in a bath instead! I’d wear my hair up today, no biggie!

So now, Kevin is nearly in Aberdeen to join his ship, I’ve finished work for the day, the dogs in a huff because “I made Dadaidh leave again” 🤦🏻‍♀️ and the house is just quiet and empty because the love of my life has left me for 5wks again – juicy time!!! 😂 I can’t juice properly when he’s here. I have all the best intentions and I did have quite a lot of juice leftover in the freezer, so I drank all of that during his last leave, but he just kept leaving stuff all over the kitchen table and that’s where I need space to do my juicing, that’s where all the equipment sits. Och, I’m making excuses and he’ll call me out on blaming him, but it basically comes down to mindset again. He’s eating food, I’m seeing food around and it makes me want food! Simples! Most of it would be fine, he cooks good healthy food, but I get tempted by the Irn Bru pastilles and Tunnocks Caramel wafers and it gives me bad ideas. I’m influenced, I know I am. I’m not perfect by any stretch of the imagination and I am just human. We want what we shouldn’t have. It’s been happening since the Garden of Eden. It’s no excuse but it’s proof that we can be tempted and fail. But we get back up again. We try again. We keep going. I am so focused when he’s not here as I have no temptations surrounding me. Only fruit & veg is left in the fridge, he cleaned out the last of the food today and Holly got a big plate of treats too – spoilt doggy!

I have felt a little tired today and I do feel a bit hungry, but I know I’m just adjusting to toxins leaving my system. I’ve passed loads of water today and that’s one of the reasons why I didn’t end up finishing my juice, because I was on the road many times today and teaching in people’s homes and the last thing I wanted was to be running to the loo every 20mins, which I can do at home easily or even teaching in town. I’m very aware that I haven’t had any separate water although there’s water in the veg of course and I don’t think I had any tea this morning. I’ll have to have a spearmint tea tonight and also some plain water. I will need to juice in the morning, even though I have left over from today, so the best idea is to get up at a similar time and juice straight away. That way I wake up with my ginger shot and the productivity begins. I’m not technically working until the afternoon but I do have quite a sizeable to-do list relating to work so I should just get on with it.

Time for bed! Day 1 over.

March Magic 2021

Above Photo: Cherry Blossoms are in bloom at the University of Washington right now - Photo By Kai Wang

Am I alone in thinking that was the longest March of all time? It truly felt like it would never end. Usually I love my birthday month, but with everything still the way it’s been for the past year, there really didn’t feel like much of a reason to celebrate. Also, Nathan got COVID. It was awful and scary and I was worried about how he’d be, but all is well and he just got his vaccine this past weekend, which is incredible. So a real roller coaster type of month, but thank god it’s over.

Here’s everything that went down last month.

I recapped how my winter list of things to do went.

Forever an optimist, I made a list of spring things that I’d like to do. One of my favourite things to do is get a pedicure on the first day of a season. I don’t get them very often at all, so it’s a nice way to usher in some new weather.

I finished watching Superstore, which is such a great show. I would’ve never watched it on my own, so this is why you have to listen to your best friend’s recommendations sometimes. They know more than you. Also, it was weird as hell to hear the Smashing Pumpkins song Today in one episode. Just seemed like a strange pairing, them and this show. Or any show, really. But I mean they did lend a song to that Apple ad, so I guess the old days of Billy Corgan complaining about everything are over.

I read and reviewed Joan Rivers’ book Enter Talking.

I made my way back to Lilia with Irene to devour their seasonal leek focaccia & green salted butter, which is always heaven on a plate. (Me and focaccia have had a pretty strong love affair going on for some time now. I plan on making it at home soon, but I can’t decide on the flavouring I’ll want to add to it. There are too many possibilities.) We also shared two pastas: the corzetti with pine nuts, marjoram & parmigiano reggiano as well as the sheep’s milk cheese agnolotti with saffron, dried tomato & honey. Always a good meal here. Might benefit from some new pastas, though.

Above Photo: My sweet baby girl, leek focaccia & her green salted butter

Above Photo: Stunning Irene & pasta

Above Photo: I’m very excited for bread

I got my first Moderna shot! I usually have tons of anxiety around needles, but somehow it wasn’t a problem this time (maybe because I had the kindest nurse on the planet). It sounds so simple, but she told me to look away, to take a deep breath and while I was taking that breath she put the needle in and THAT WAS IT. So grateful for that advice. Must remember that for life now. I have my next shot on April 8th! (I did get COVID arm, but it went away in 24 hours so it really wasn’t a big deal.) Also, I’ll definitely ask a medical professional, but if it’s allowed then I’m definitely getting my card laminated for free.

There’s this great, cute new store called Gift Box on Broadway in Astoria. It’s very similar to Lockwood, only better. Lots of cards, gifts, beauty products, candles, that kind of thing.

It’s green garlic season and we must all celebrate! I’ve also decided that I might devote my life to compound butters. Making them, eating them, giving them away as gifts potentially. Maybe this is what’s been missing.

Google image search the vagar faroe islands and let’s go.

I can’t stop putting this Esti vegan feta on everything, it tastes exactly like regular feta only slightly less salty.

Everything from the brand Umbra is gorgeous.

These are officially (and my niece Layla can attest to it) the greatest socks on the planet. Not too tight, not too short or high, and soft as a cloud.

Best kale caesar dressing I’ve had in months. And I love the idea of using breadcrumbs instead of croutons to liven things up a bit.

I made this roasted winter citrus and wow was it hot fruit. It should be a crime to make something look this good, but taste average as hell.

I started using the app Google Keep to organize all of my lists and tasks and I love it. It’s so much better than using Notes.

HOW have I never even HEARD of Shake Shack’s Innovation Kitchen?! AND HOW HAVE I NEVER BEEN. It’s moved to the top of my current Must Visit list.

I may or may not have fallen down a rabbit hole of incredible Melissa Clark recipes. Love this woman.

If you live in Englewood, New Jersey, how do you not just LIVE at this bakery? My god. Every item. In my mouth. Now.

And listen, I’m no scientist, but this seems like huge news…?

If you find yourself anxious or unsettled, this video of lasagna being made from scratch is the most soothing thing I’ve come across in months.

Target sells candles?! I’m the last person on earth who learned this. $4 for an actually great mini candle is wild.

Tried a slice of the red velvet cake from Milk Bar and it was unexpectedly good. I don’t usually care about red velvet (because it’s a scam?), but honestly their cakes always find a way to taste amazing.

I made this cajun linguine and it was so lackluster, I hate when a pasta recipe doesn’t work out. It’s so upsetting. Also, cajun seasoning can blow me.

They’re opening a Sonic in Manhattan, which I’ve never been to before, is it worth going?

I know Eataly is for tourists, but once in awhile I like to stop in to peruse. I tried one of their prepackaged foods (the eggplant parmesan) and it was a hard pass. Just no flavouring at all. The only thing that saved the day were their individual little Italian chocolates. Always amazing. I do want to eventually try their dried pasta Afeltra since I’ve heard such good things about it.

I don’t know about you, but I’m definitely not ready to watch documentaries about the pandemic yet. I don’t know if I’ll ever want to. I mean… we’re still IN IT, for christ’s sake. HBO needs to just sit down.

Tell me that you know the song Sea of Love.

You had me at “cheese-oozing focaccia.”

Great piece on diet culture by Julia Turshen.

When I was in Seattle in April a few years ago, I wandered onto the University of Washington’s campus and was blown away by their gorgeous cherry blossoms. They have a livestream of them right now, if you’d like to take a look.

With plastic bags officially banned now, I desperately need a basket bag to take when I go to the farmer’s market. So f-ing lovely. Everyone will think I’m Belle or some shit.

I don’t think I’ve ever had a fresh Jamaican patty in my life, so I’m definitely going here the next time I’m in Mississauga.

I love this chickpea salad, especially after adding basil.

Some of these are actually really great tips.

How on earth have I never heard of the restaurants Dell’anima or Anfora?! They’re both under the Joe Campanale umbrella (of L’Artusi fame)! I’m so excited to go. Just look at those menus.

Speaking of, I can’t go for too long without eating the wagyu steak tartare at L’Artusi. It’s a problem. (It also makes me want to buy a really great finishing olive oil, so I’m looking into that. I’m thinking either Monini or Frantoia.)

Above Photo: Wagyu steak tartare at L’Artusi

One thing I’ve started to do that you should too: buy good butter. I stopped buying margarine many years ago and thought I was a better person for buying regular grocery store butter. But sweetie, you can do more. The butter (specifically European butter) in specialty shops or some bakeries or markets is EONS better than the run-of-the-mill basic grocery butter. And it enhances literally everything that you use it in. Right now, the butter in my fridge is beurre de baratte butter and it’s ridiculously good. Obviously I’m not going to use this butter when I’m baking because I’m not a millionaire, but when I’m making something savory for dinner? Or a compound butter? Or on top of asparagus? On some bread as a snack? It’s unreal.

Speaking of food advice: don’t buy your parmesan at the grocery store either. I’ve never had amazing parmesan from there. It’s always the same, even the expensive stuff. Get your ass to a cheese shop. Enough already, you’re an adult.

I tried a CBD chocolate and just as I thought: it’s a scam. Just like red velvet. It did nothing for nobody.

I bought this tea tree toner on a whim from The Body Shop and I might keep buying it for the rest of time. I use it on my face right when I get out of a hot shower and it’s kept my face feeling incredible lately.

A new coffee shop opened up in my neighbourhood called Coffee Avenue and I can’t recommend it enough. The macadamia milk hot chocolate blew my face off.

I finally ate at Bar Primi in the city and it was spectacular. We had the ricotta crostino with hazelnuts & truffle honey (which is almost like a dessert, it’s so good), the linguine with 4 cloves of garlic & breadcrumbs as well as the penne ragu alla bolognese with ricotta which was the very best. Can’t wait to go again. Loved the atmosphere of the place, too.

The seasonal candle is out at Trader Joe’s and it’s grapefruit, which smells perfect. I’ve finally stopped hoarding their candles and have started burning them. Only took me a year of lockdown to realize I should try to enjoy my life.

Lemon Kit-Kats exist and all is right with the world. Delicious.

I don’t go very often, but I’ll always love The Dutch. Perfect cornbread. Perfect tartare. You can’t go wrong.

Above Photo: Housemade scallion-chipotle cornbread with whipped butter

Above Photo: Wagyu steak tartare, capers, bearnaise aioli

*Note: if it seems like I eat a lot of steak tartare - I do. Good observation. It’s incredible.

Controversial opinion but the Dove chocolate peanut butter eggs are one millions times better than Reese’s peanut butter cups. I couldn’t believe it either.

This leads me to another declaration: Easter candy might be better than Halloween candy. Hear me out. Halloween candy is almost chaotic when you think of the candy options, it’s overwhelming and more often than not, disappointing. Easter candy, however, is usually always new and fresh each season. They’ve got to work harder to get you to notice Easter candy, so infact you’re getting a more well thought out product, which usually tastes better. Anyway, can you tell I’m depressed…?

I went to the new Ulta location in NYC in Herald Square and it’s great, it seems bigger than the UWS one and it’s way more convenient to visit. Must remember. Oh! But speaking of Ulta, remember how last year they had such great birthday gifts? They really dropped the ball this year. They’re trying to give a $5 Mario Badescu facial spray as the March gift?! Are you fucking serious?! That’s the worst. Literally the worst gift of all the months. Fighting every urge in my body to write them a strongly-worded letter about this. Just insanity. I didn’t even go claim it. Keep your damn gift, no spray can calm me down from this.

New love: macadamia milk in my iced coffee in the morning. Just heavenly.

I rewatched Wall-E and what a great movie. For all ages. Too perfect.

Love the song Team by Lorde.

I watched the Woody Allen & Mia Farrow documentary on HBO and it’s obviously a must watch. So many things I didn’t know about that story were shown, this man needs to be stopped.

If you ever get a new phone and you want to transfer over all of your WhatsApp messages to your new phone (and you’ve never backed them up), you can pay $40 and use this site to do it.

The new Super Mario World in Japan looks incredible.

Do not judge me, but I ordered (and returned) a SKIMS bralette. I was swayed by a few photos of women wearing it and wanted to see for myself what it felt like. Verdict: crap. Sure, the material is soft but only because it’s so poorly made and unsupportive. An immediate return. The beautiful colours of the bras are what sells the product, in my opinion. It’s so hard to find well made, beautiful browns and neutrals in undergarments.

Speaking of what’s her name, I also ordered this KKW mini lip liner set that I’m unfortunately in love with. I use it as a lip liner and filler, and each fucking one is gorgeous. I’m going to do a post to show you. You’ll see what I mean.

I came across this wonderful stationary store in Chelsea, City Papery. I could spend hours roaming the aisles in there. Made a mental note to go back to get some really beautiful envelopes (why on earth am I still buying the basic-ass white envelopes at CVS??), such a great store.

I’m proofreading a book right now about the idea of living with intention and I’ll post a link to it as soon as it’s released later this year. It’s honestly one of the best self help things I’ve read in a long time.

I’ve had a Pinterest account forever and I recently organized a lot of the recipes into seasonal categories, which has inspired me to make so many new meals this season. Check it. Also, I haven’t tried these yet, but these spring recipes (below) sound delicious.

Blueberry Ricotta Cake with Lavender Glaze

Banana Carrot Cake Cupcakes with Coconut Cream Cheese Frosting

Lemon Almond Pudding Cake

Asparagus Quiche with Hash Brown Crust

Apricot Shortbread Bars

Buttermilk Lavender Scones

Carrot Cake Bread with Nutella Cream Cheese Frosting

Lemon Olive Oil Cake with Lavender Mascarpone

I’ve mentioned my filmmaker friend Dusty before (his film Violation was at Sundance this year), well his movie is a Critic’s Pick in the The New York Times this month, which is amazing and so well deserved. Truly could not happen to a better person.

I have eaten approximately five pounds of asparagus since spring began and I can’t see myself stopping anytime soon. It’s so fucking good. One grievance: that huge, fat asparagus. Why’s it so big like that?? Unnatural as hell. Give me that thin, beautiful asparagus that’s increasingly so hard to find any day. And to anyone who’s like, “Don’t you hate how it makes your pee smell?” - why you gotta go smell your pee? Be normal, weirdo.

I did Nathan’s podcast and we talked about how it’s been so beneficial to get some intentional offline time each Sunday.

Here were the best tweets of the month.

Some things that I’m looking forward to this month: I’m trying so hard to find a way to stream the last three episodes of Stanley Tucci’s Searching For Italy which has been impossible to find, will definitely go check out Little Island, excited to maybe go to the Kusama exhibit, I’d really like to make the Carbone garlic bread, I want to locate and try milk bread, my brother Robbie told me to mix balsamic vinegar & mayo and put it on a burger so I’ll try that soon, I bought some dried Rao’s pasta so I can’t wait to make it, I’m so excited that movie theatres are opening on the 2nd here (I’ll be fully vaccinated very soon so this is great), and I’m adding a resolution: I’d like to do one new thing on the first of every month (examples: buy stock in something, eat ramen, etc.).

If you’ve got any interest in reading last month’s roundup, you can see what went down in February over here.

A little bit of home

Pairing: Tom Hiddleston x Reader

Word Count: 2129

Warning: Language and fluff

A/N:  An ask from another Tom Hiddleston fan.  “Where it’s his bday but he's not able to be with his family so you bake him a Colin the Caterpillar hoping it would raise his spirits, please and thank you”

 You sat at your laptop typing away while talking to your editor on the phone.  Finding the couch much more comfortable to work on a couple chapters of your book.  That was where you were for the last few hours trying to work on the next story in the trilogy you were writing.  Macey, your editor, had called to check up on you and the progress you were making. The two of you had been chatting for almost ten minutes when Tom came through the front door, bringing a gust of cold air behind him.  Shivering hard, you had forgotten how frigid it was outside.  

Tom was on location in Canada for another project.  It was one of the few times you were able to join him.  Most of the crew had been staying in this lovely area of British Columbia in log cabins.  Had your boyfriend not been so busy with the film, it would have been the perfect romantic retreat.  Instead, it was a good place for you to work in the beauty and quiet.  

After closing the door and peeling off his jacket and shoes, Tom walked past you towards the kitchen. He did not acknowledge you being there, or even really seem to notice you seated on the couch.  There was a distinct frown on his face as he looked to be in his own thoughts.  

“Macey can I call you tomorrow?”  When she agreed, you hung up the phone, watching Tom in the kitchen setting the kettle on the stove to make a cup of tea.  “Tom are you alright?”

Hearing your voice pulled him from the thoughts that were distracting him.  “Oh darling… Yes I’m sorry.”  He walked back towards you, wrapping his arms around you before leaning down to kiss your lips.  “It’s been a day, and I am utterly exhausted.”

“You have been working too hard, baby.  You need a day off with nothing to do but sleep and a cup of tea when you wake up.”

“As wonderful as that sounds, it won’t be for a few more days at least.  With the storms last week, we are behind schedule.  I swear, though, my first day off I refuse to leave bed.”  You grinned, before waggling your brows up at him.  

“I think that sounds like a perfect day off.  Maybe it will be for your birthday.”  His brows rose as though this was a new revelation to him.

“Bloody hell, I completely forgot my birthday is coming in a few days.”  Laughing you kissed his cheek before moving to the kitchen to retrieve two mugs.

“How does one forget their birthday?  Like, I have a whole birthday month.”  Tom sat at the kitchen table as you fixed the tea for you both.

“I remember darling. Anytime you wanted something or whined you said ‘but it’s my birthday month’.” Laughing loudly you sat the mug in front of him, taking the seat across from him.

“I do not whine…”  The look he sent you across the table had you laughing again.  As he sat quietly, drinking his tea you realized how truly tired and down he looked.  “Is there something you want to do for your birthday?”

“To be honest, I just want a quiet day to sleep and then a lovely dinner with you.  Something by the fire, perhaps.”  Last year on his birthday, it was the first time you met his family.  Tom had been so happy and wanted to show you around the place where he grew up.  Now looking at him this year he seemed the complete opposite.  You were unsure of how to take it.

The rest of the night his morose mood continued.  As much as you tried to get him to smile and laugh, nothing lasted.  He went to bed early and was out of the house before dawn. When he did not kiss you goodbye as he usually did, you knew it was time to pull him out of his dazed melancholy. When you got up in the morning the first thing you did was call his mom, Diana.

“Oh, [Y/N], darling I am so happy to hear from you.  How are you? Is my boy well?”  You sighed not sure how to begin.

“Actually that’s why I’m calling.  Tom has been completely unlike himself.  He is exhausted from work and just so down.  I wanted to do something to cheer him up and I needed to see if you had any ideas.  His birthday is in a few days and I don’t know what to do to make him feel better.”  Once you began, all the words just seemed to fall out quickly.  You could only hope Diana had understood you.

“Tom is such a hard worker. Even if it is to his detriment.”  She went on to tell you a few stories of Tom’s younger years and birthdays.  You realized this was the first birthday in many years that he was not home with his family for his birthday.  Spending time with those he loved was something so important to him.  Maybe it was one of the things that was causing the gloom.

Over the new three days, you went out of your way to spoil the shit out of your boyfriend.  The first day you surprised him on set with a thermos of his favorite tea and lunch.  Tom was surprised and gave you a beautiful smile when he saw you.  When he asked what the occasion was, your response was, “It’s your birthday week love.”

He laughed, calling you mad but telling you how much he loved you.  That night you made lasagna and apple crumb cake, two of his favorite recipes of yours.  From there it just continued until his actual birthday with a hot bath when he got home one of the nights, to a special breakfast before he went to work.  On February 9th, you got up around eight to start on the elaborate plans you had for the day.  Tom had not made it home until nearly 1am that morning and would not be coherent until much later in the day.  It was perfect for what you had to do.

After a coffee and bagel breakfast you set out to the shops to buy all the supplies you needed.  It ended up being far more than you had planned but isn’t that how it always goes? When you returned to the cabin and the groceries were put away, you got to work. The wine was chilling and chicken marinating for later.  The dinner prep was first.  You wanted to make sure it would be ready to just pop in to cook while you tried to wrangle the dessert preparation.  That would take the longest.

And long it did take. Several hours of baking, cutting,, careful rolling then icing before it was ready.  While it was not the prettiest thing you had ever made it still looked delicious.  You only hoped that Tom would like it, or would fake it if he did not.

The rest of the afternoon went by quietly, until it was time to start dinner.  As you placed the chicken to roast you heard the shower upstairs turn on, finally he was awake.  Everything was working out exactly as planned.  By the time Tom came downstairs the small dining area table had been set with candles and a small pretty centerpiece.  The food was still cooking but he looked happier than he had in weeks.  “Darling whatever it is you are cooking smells divine.  I can’t believe you have done all this.”

He walked up behind you wrapping his arms around your waist as you sautéed the asparagus.  The light kiss he placed on your neck sent a thrill through you.  “Tom, it’s your birthday.  I would have done far more if we were at home.  Would you like your birthday presents now or after dinner?”

“Presents?  As in more than one?”  Tom sound intrigued.  Taking the pan off the burner before you turned to look at him.

“Three actually.  Two you can open whenever you like, and the third… well that one is for much later.”  Winking, you stole a kiss before working on dishing up the meal.

“Oh I think that one will be my favorite present.  But I believe I will open up the others now.”  His classic laugh made you grin.

“They are on the coffee table if you want to grab them.”  Opening the smaller of the boxes, Tom looked like a child flipping it back and forth in his hands.

“What kind of contraption did you get me?  It looks like a watch.”  Laughing, you set the food on the table.

“It is a watch.  It’s an activity watch actually, and its water proof.”  He looked sheepish a moment as he had dropped his last watch in a puddle in London.  “With all your running and… well open the other one and see.”

He picked up the other box, shaking it gently.  As he opened it and saw the colorful cover of the book, he narrowed his eyes.  “A New Zealand travel guide?”

“Yes for when we go in a few months.  Hiking and glaciers… you are going to need that watch to keep up with what we do. Plus with all the waterfalls, we will need something waterproof.  Do you know how hard it was to find two weeks in your schedule where you aren’t busy? Trust me, it’s very hard.”  The surprise on his face made all the planning worth it.

“We are going to New Zealand?  Darling… this is wonderful.”  Tom jumped up to hug you close.  The kiss that followed made your toes curl.  Which made it far more difficult to pry yourself away from him after a few moments.

“Let’s eat before dinner gets cold.  We can finish that later.”  Dinner turned out lovely; Tom could not stop raving about it. Seeing the man who was normally so happy and easygoing back to his usual self, made your year. Once the dishes had been cleared, it gave you time to sit by the fire with wine in hand, skimming through the travel book.  There were several places he wanted to travel to after looking at the bright pictures. That would be something you were going to work on soon.  It would be a trip of a lifetime for you.

“Since it is my birthday… would there be perhaps be a bit of cake?”  You had almost forgotten about the cake, which had been safely stashed in one of the cabinets.

“Of course there is cake but you had to sit and close your eyes before I bring it out.”

“Close my eyes? Should I be worried?”  Taking him by the hand, you led him back to the table.

“No I think I should be worried you will hate it.  Now close them.”  Tom clasped his hands together in his lap with a mischievous smile on his face.  

“Yes, [Y/N] my love. I will close them.”  It took a minute but you pulled the cake from the cabinet and put it on the serving platter.  Placing a few little candles and lighting them you were ready.  You sang the birthday song as you walked into the dining area.  Setting the plate before him just as you finished.  

“Okay open them.”  As soon as he realized what was sitting before him, he covered his facing laughing.  

“Oh my God…  How did you… You called mum didn’t you?  [Y/N] I love it.”  In front of him was a Colin the Caterpillar cake.  The long chocolate frosted body was covered with mini M&M’s and the face made from yellow and more of the chocolate frosting.

“I know it’s isn’t the real thing but I couldn’t get it here fast enough from …” He turned around pulling you down onto his lap, kissing yours cheeks then nose and lastly your lips.

“This is one of the sweetest and most caring things anyone has ever done for me.  These were my favorite when I was a child.  Mum, would have them for me, every year after they started making them. Thank you so much, love.  I could not have asked for a better birthday.”  Hearing that made your heart swell.  It was exactly what you wanted, Tom to have a wonderful day.  

The cake tasted better than it looked thankfully.  However, there was no wrong with chocolate cake and chocolate frosting.  Tom’s mood had lifted, leaving behind the gloom. Now his thoughts were of how he would ever repay the thought and caring you had shown him this week and honestly the entire length of your relationship.  He could not wait until your next birthday “month”.

Tags: @feelmyroarrrr  @bolontiku  @aquabrie   @malindacath  @almondbuttercup  @ex-bookjunky  @frenchfrostpudding  @saraholdtheh972 @cute-mirei 

Eater Staffers on the Kitchen Tools They Can’t Live Without

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These pots and pans, appliances, and utensils have made cooking in quarantine a little bit easier

As the weeks of social distancing and recommendations to stay home as much as possible stretch on, cooking has taken on both more urgency and more burden. Luckily, there are products that, whether by intention or not, can ease the load, making spending so much time cooking so much easier.

Below, a roundup of the tools and products that have made Eater editors’ kitchen lives better. And if you’re looking for more on what to cook with said tools, check out our guide for folks who literally never cook as well as our pantry-cooking guide.

Pots and Pans

Whirlpool nonstick griddle

“Maybe the best part of a recent move has been playing with the nonstick griddle that straddles two burners atop my new stove. I’ve used it to char tomatoes, peppers, and garlic cloves for salsa, revive leftover steak, toast slices of sourdough, and inflate Indian chapati to accompany this cilantro chutney chicken recipe. A quick wipe down keeps it clean, so that accounts for one less dish to wash while the sink piles up.” — Gabriel Hiatt, Eater DC editor

Cook N Home nonstick wok

“I never knew that I could fall in love with my wok, but here I am. This wok brings me so much joy when I’m cooking. It’s sturdy so it can hold a lot of stuff; it’s big enough to cook a family-sized portion. The pan’s marbling coat makes sure that nothing gets stuck on the bottom, from braising short ribs to frying eggs. I use this pan for everything from stews to fried rice; it’s incredibly versatile! I know it’s overwhelming to look through different wok options, but for home cooks who want to cook many different dishes without having to clean up any residuals, this is the one. The price is also extremely affordable, so what’s not to love?” — James Park, social media manager

Great Jones sheet pan

“This is the first ‘fancy’ sheet pan I’ve ever had, generally preferring basics from restaurant supply stores or else the cheapest available from retailers like Williams-Sonoma. Intrigued by the company’s promise that it doesn’t warp, I ordered one last year and have not been disappointed. Since shelter-in-place started, though, I’ve found myself reaching for it over my other sheet pans, and I’m 99 percent sure it’s because the vibrant color stands out among my pans and makes cooking feel that much more lively. I’ve used it to make cookies, nachos, and all sorts of roasted vegetables, but also as a Bananagrams board and a photo backdrop.” — Hillary Dixler Canavan, restaurant editor

Appliances

Panasonic toaster oven

“I grew up in a toaster oven family — even now, everyone in my immediate family has the same one — but even I, a super fan, did not fully appreciate the appliance until I moved in late March, just as the COVID-19 outbreak hit NYC, and found myself living in an apartment with no gas for about a week and a half. As a result, I spent a lot of time with my toaster oven, sometimes cooking three square meals a day in it. It’s fast and versatile, good for so many things: roasting vegetables, baking brownies and small cakes, and, of course, just toasting bread or bagels or nuts and spices.” — Sonia Chopra, director of editorial growth

Ninja Express Chop

“I never really thought I needed a food processor — big or small, really — until I got the Ninja Express Chop. I had somehow managed to avoid all recipes that required one, since it seemed so bulky to move and a pain to clean. Once I got the Ninja Express Chop, all that changed. It’s small and easy to fit in the cabinet; and it easily comes apart into four simple pieces, all of which fit in my sink or dishwasher, so I don’t mind cleaning it, even when it’s coated with oil from herby salad dressings or flecks of basil from my homemade pesto — all things I never would have made until I got it.” — Ellie Krupnick, managing editor

OXO tea kettle

“Weirdly enough, I have been relying heavily on a tea kettle. I’ve been using it every single day at various times to boil water. I start with it in the morning to make oatmeal for breakfast and continue throughout the day to make tea and repurpose hot tea for iced to switch it up. I am trying to stay as hydrated as possible while I am home.” — Stephen Pelletteri, executive producer

Anova sous vide machine

“We’ve been using the Anova to cook large portions of pork shoulder that we then eat for days and days in tacos, ramen, and more. It’s a multi-day process including a 24-hour sous vide, 24 hours in the fridge, and then oven-roasting before pulling — lots of time, but mostly hands-off. (Try J. Kenji López-Alt’s recipe to start, and then experiment with your own variations. We’ve enjoyed adding a molasses glaze before it goes in the oven.) Hint: Reserve the cooked pork juices after the sous vide process to use with ramen — boil with the water in a one-to-one ratio for the best fancied up packaged ramen you’ve had.” — Rachel Leah Blumenthal, Eater Boston editor

Hamilton Beach panini press

“My cheap-ass panini maker is so much more than a device on which to make grilled cheese, even though that’s its most common use. It’s also a lovely way to make toast (that’s a grilled cheese sans cheese) or just warm up bread enough to apply butter. Going further off-label, I’ve been using it to cook up frozen hash brown patties (they’re done in a flash with a nice crispy crust, way better than the 20 minutes in the oven version) and grill baby asparagus (while full-sized asparagus is too girthy to cook completely, the babies do just fine). Is this why people bought George Foreman grills back in the day?” — Eve Batey, Eater San Francisco senior editor

Utensils

Sur La Table fish spatula

“I’m an evangelist for this tool even under normal circumstances, and have gifted it more times than I can count. One of its purposes is obvious from its name: it’s great for flipping fish without having it break apart or damaging the skin. But I find myself using it daily, whether it’s to remove my meatloaf from its loaf pan or lift up a focaccia to see if it’s browning underneath.” — Missy Frederick, cities director

McoMce plastic bench scraper

I’ve gotten really, really tired of cleaning my kitchen during shelter-in-place, but this plastic bench scraper is a life-saver. It’s good for pushing dough out of bowls or scraping stubborn bits out of pots and pans, but I mostly use it to clean my kitchen sink. It makes quick work of collecting food scraps without having to pile them all into my hand (yuck). Once I’m done cleaning, I rinse it with a bit of soap, so that it’s ready to cut cinnamon rolls, collect herbs on my cutting board, and clean the sink — again.” — Elazar Sontag, staff writer

Storage

Comfy Package plastic kitchen containers

“During this time where I’ve been cooking a lot and ordering a lot of food, plastic food storage containers have been my saviors. It’s a habit I picked up from my dad, who works at a New York City market. The multiple sizes, from the slim eight-ounce cups to the large 32-ounce containers, makes it easy to store anything, from leftover cream cheese to portioned-out frozen lentil soup. The sizes also make it easier to downsize leftovers in the fridge, thus clearing up space for more food.” — Nadia Chaudhury, Eater Austin editor

Ball glass jars

“Last summer we had a crazy infestation of pantry moths, so on the advice of our exterminator I started saving all of my glass jars to store flours and cereals and other moth-attracting ingredients in. Now that my pantry is more valuable than ever, I’m using these jars to keep all of my bulk staples like beans, grains, and pastas organized and easily visible. I use old peanut butter jars for the most part (my kids go through a jar a week), but I’d actually advise going a little bigger if you’re buying them new, with some wide-mouth half-gallon Ball jars or invest in some fancy straight-sided ones like these wood-topped ones from Target.” — Lesley Suter, travel editor

Other Stuff

Final Touch rocks glass with ice ball

“I wanted to up my Manhattan game during the coronavirus pandemic, and the only new tool I bought was this rocks glass that includes a silicone mold to make a round ice cube. The rocks glass has a glass cylinder at the bottom so the round ice cube will roll around the bottom of the glass. It feels sophisticated to drink out of this glass, almost like I’m at a restaurant instead of at home.” — Susan Stapleton, Eater Vegas editor

Aerogarden countertop garden

“Two words: Breakfast salad. Yep, That’s been a thing in my life anytime I have my AeroGarden up and running and this quarantine called for it. Fresh herbs and lettuce in just a few weeks. I even threw some wild flowers in this time for some much needed cheer. Take that shallots-in-a-jar.” — Maureen Giannone Fitzgerald, production executive

from Eater - All https://ift.tt/2zxaSRX https://ift.tt/3euFvpS

Shutterstock

These pots and pans, appliances, and utensils have made cooking in quarantine a little bit easier

As the weeks of social distancing and recommendations to stay home as much as possible stretch on, cooking has taken on both more urgency and more burden. Luckily, there are products that, whether by intention or not, can ease the load, making spending so much time cooking so much easier.

Below, a roundup of the tools and products that have made Eater editors’ kitchen lives better. And if you’re looking for more on what to cook with said tools, check out our guide for folks who literally never cook as well as our pantry-cooking guide.

Pots and Pans

Whirlpool nonstick griddle

“Maybe the best part of a recent move has been playing with the nonstick griddle that straddles two burners atop my new stove. I’ve used it to char tomatoes, peppers, and garlic cloves for salsa, revive leftover steak, toast slices of sourdough, and inflate Indian chapati to accompany this cilantro chutney chicken recipe. A quick wipe down keeps it clean, so that accounts for one less dish to wash while the sink piles up.” — Gabriel Hiatt, Eater DC editor

Cook N Home nonstick wok

“I never knew that I could fall in love with my wok, but here I am. This wok brings me so much joy when I’m cooking. It’s sturdy so it can hold a lot of stuff; it’s big enough to cook a family-sized portion. The pan’s marbling coat makes sure that nothing gets stuck on the bottom, from braising short ribs to frying eggs. I use this pan for everything from stews to fried rice; it’s incredibly versatile! I know it’s overwhelming to look through different wok options, but for home cooks who want to cook many different dishes without having to clean up any residuals, this is the one. The price is also extremely affordable, so what’s not to love?” — James Park, social media manager

Great Jones sheet pan

“This is the first ‘fancy’ sheet pan I’ve ever had, generally preferring basics from restaurant supply stores or else the cheapest available from retailers like Williams-Sonoma. Intrigued by the company’s promise that it doesn’t warp, I ordered one last year and have not been disappointed. Since shelter-in-place started, though, I’ve found myself reaching for it over my other sheet pans, and I’m 99 percent sure it’s because the vibrant color stands out among my pans and makes cooking feel that much more lively. I’ve used it to make cookies, nachos, and all sorts of roasted vegetables, but also as a Bananagrams board and a photo backdrop.” — Hillary Dixler Canavan, restaurant editor

Appliances

Panasonic toaster oven

“I grew up in a toaster oven family — even now, everyone in my immediate family has the same one — but even I, a super fan, did not fully appreciate the appliance until I moved in late March, just as the COVID-19 outbreak hit NYC, and found myself living in an apartment with no gas for about a week and a half. As a result, I spent a lot of time with my toaster oven, sometimes cooking three square meals a day in it. It’s fast and versatile, good for so many things: roasting vegetables, baking brownies and small cakes, and, of course, just toasting bread or bagels or nuts and spices.” — Sonia Chopra, director of editorial growth

Ninja Express Chop

“I never really thought I needed a food processor — big or small, really — until I got the Ninja Express Chop. I had somehow managed to avoid all recipes that required one, since it seemed so bulky to move and a pain to clean. Once I got the Ninja Express Chop, all that changed. It’s small and easy to fit in the cabinet; and it easily comes apart into four simple pieces, all of which fit in my sink or dishwasher, so I don’t mind cleaning it, even when it’s coated with oil from herby salad dressings or flecks of basil from my homemade pesto — all things I never would have made until I got it.” — Ellie Krupnick, managing editor

OXO tea kettle

“Weirdly enough, I have been relying heavily on a tea kettle. I’ve been using it every single day at various times to boil water. I start with it in the morning to make oatmeal for breakfast and continue throughout the day to make tea and repurpose hot tea for iced to switch it up. I am trying to stay as hydrated as possible while I am home.” — Stephen Pelletteri, executive producer

Anova sous vide machine

“We’ve been using the Anova to cook large portions of pork shoulder that we then eat for days and days in tacos, ramen, and more. It’s a multi-day process including a 24-hour sous vide, 24 hours in the fridge, and then oven-roasting before pulling — lots of time, but mostly hands-off. (Try J. Kenji López-Alt’s recipe to start, and then experiment with your own variations. We’ve enjoyed adding a molasses glaze before it goes in the oven.) Hint: Reserve the cooked pork juices after the sous vide process to use with ramen — boil with the water in a one-to-one ratio for the best fancied up packaged ramen you’ve had.” — Rachel Leah Blumenthal, Eater Boston editor

Hamilton Beach panini press

“My cheap-ass panini maker is so much more than a device on which to make grilled cheese, even though that’s its most common use. It’s also a lovely way to make toast (that’s a grilled cheese sans cheese) or just warm up bread enough to apply butter. Going further off-label, I’ve been using it to cook up frozen hash brown patties (they’re done in a flash with a nice crispy crust, way better than the 20 minutes in the oven version) and grill baby asparagus (while full-sized asparagus is too girthy to cook completely, the babies do just fine). Is this why people bought George Foreman grills back in the day?” — Eve Batey, Eater San Francisco senior editor

Utensils

Sur La Table fish spatula

“I’m an evangelist for this tool even under normal circumstances, and have gifted it more times than I can count. One of its purposes is obvious from its name: it’s great for flipping fish without having it break apart or damaging the skin. But I find myself using it daily, whether it’s to remove my meatloaf from its loaf pan or lift up a focaccia to see if it’s browning underneath.” — Missy Frederick, cities director

McoMce plastic bench scraper

I’ve gotten really, really tired of cleaning my kitchen during shelter-in-place, but this plastic bench scraper is a life-saver. It’s good for pushing dough out of bowls or scraping stubborn bits out of pots and pans, but I mostly use it to clean my kitchen sink. It makes quick work of collecting food scraps without having to pile them all into my hand (yuck). Once I’m done cleaning, I rinse it with a bit of soap, so that it’s ready to cut cinnamon rolls, collect herbs on my cutting board, and clean the sink — again.” — Elazar Sontag, staff writer

Storage

Comfy Package plastic kitchen containers

“During this time where I’ve been cooking a lot and ordering a lot of food, plastic food storage containers have been my saviors. It’s a habit I picked up from my dad, who works at a New York City market. The multiple sizes, from the slim eight-ounce cups to the large 32-ounce containers, makes it easy to store anything, from leftover cream cheese to portioned-out frozen lentil soup. The sizes also make it easier to downsize leftovers in the fridge, thus clearing up space for more food.” — Nadia Chaudhury, Eater Austin editor

Ball glass jars

“Last summer we had a crazy infestation of pantry moths, so on the advice of our exterminator I started saving all of my glass jars to store flours and cereals and other moth-attracting ingredients in. Now that my pantry is more valuable than ever, I’m using these jars to keep all of my bulk staples like beans, grains, and pastas organized and easily visible. I use old peanut butter jars for the most part (my kids go through a jar a week), but I’d actually advise going a little bigger if you’re buying them new, with some wide-mouth half-gallon Ball jars or invest in some fancy straight-sided ones like these wood-topped ones from Target.” — Lesley Suter, travel editor

Other Stuff

Final Touch rocks glass with ice ball

“I wanted to up my Manhattan game during the coronavirus pandemic, and the only new tool I bought was this rocks glass that includes a silicone mold to make a round ice cube. The rocks glass has a glass cylinder at the bottom so the round ice cube will roll around the bottom of the glass. It feels sophisticated to drink out of this glass, almost like I’m at a restaurant instead of at home.” — Susan Stapleton, Eater Vegas editor

Aerogarden countertop garden

“Two words: Breakfast salad. Yep, That’s been a thing in my life anytime I have my AeroGarden up and running and this quarantine called for it. Fresh herbs and lettuce in just a few weeks. I even threw some wild flowers in this time for some much needed cheer. Take that shallots-in-a-jar.” — Maureen Giannone Fitzgerald, production executive

from Eater - All https://ift.tt/2zxaSRX via Blogger https://ift.tt/2Ajcw9F

Rules - copy and paste this into a new text post, delete my answers and put in yours. when you’re done, tag up to 10 people!

I was tagged by @mad-madam-m

A - Age: Literally just asked my mom a couple days ago because I forgot. That’s what happens when you get to your 30s! My birthday’s next month, and I probably won’t do anything about it this year. B - Biggest fear: Never doing anything worthwhile with my life. More specifically, never getting all those books I want to write down on paper. When I Have Fears, by John Keats, has been my favorite poem since I was a teenager. I just...want to write things that matter to me, and to other people.  C - Current time: 1 PM D - Drink you had last: Tea and orange juice; I tapped away at this list while eating breakfast, then stopped for a while to read fic. I should probably rummage around for lunch soon... E - Every day starts with: Me lying in bed wondering if I really truly have to get up and if this day will be any better than the last. Then I drag myself out so I can drink a cup of tea. F - Favorite song: Hallelujah. I don’t really have a preferred version, but my first encounter was the Jeff Buckley one. I was a freshman in college; one of my suitemates brought in a boombox and wandered off as I listened to the song. It’s a sweet, melancholy memory that hasn’t faded one bit in all the years that’ve passed since. (In other words, once I truly love a thing, I pretty much love it forever.)  G - Ghosts, are they real: No. I don’t know what the afterlife is like, but I don’t believe in spirits hanging around after death, even if my apartment does make weirdly unidentifiable noises sometimes. H - Hometown: Born in Northern California, grew up in Central California, moved back to my birth area a few years after college. But I prefer the Steinbeck quote: I have lost all sense of home, having moved about so much. It means to me now - only that place where the books are kept. I - In love with: Books. Writing. A handful of fictional characters.  J - Jealous of: Published authors. Everyone who was able to go to AX this weekend. I was originally planning to go - until I quit my job and haven’t been able to find a new one and thus can’t afford anything. K - Killed someone: Uh. No. I still feel overwhelming guilt about the time ~20 years ago when I accidentally killed a lizard.  L - Last time you cried: A few days ago, while panicking about not having the money to pay rent this month. Although honestly, I’m feeling kinda down today. M - Middle name: Very weird, with too many vowels.  N - Number of siblings: Three older brothers. O - One wish: For the short term - to get a job that pays enough for me to keep paying my bills. For the long term - to have at least one book published. P - Person you last called/texted: Called - my mom? I don’t like talking on the phone, so it’s usually only her or job- or bill-related stuff. Texted - a friend of mine who lives in Canada, who sent a happy ‘merica day message. Q - Question you’re always asked: People very frequently stop me to ask for directions. I’m very approachable but very, very bad at giving directions.  R - Reason to smile: Dogs. Sterek fics. Books. Sheith merch. Chocolate. Jack Zimmermann. More books. S - Song last sang: I think something I made up when I was cleaning. I am a zillion and one percent not a singer, but I absently sing my thoughts out loud a lot of the time. Usually when I’m alone. Unless I forget I’m in public. T - Time you woke up: 5:30 AM, but I went back to sleep and woke up for reals around 9:30.  U - Underwear color: Currently green, but I need to take a shower, after which point, who knows?? Could be anything. Maybe foxes. V - Vacation destination: Favorite past one or one I wish I could do? I can’t afford anything for a while, so I’ll go with my three favorite trips that I’ve made as an adult. Cornwall (aka the setting of tide pulls), Montreal, Kaua’i. I loved all of them, but I’d go back to Hawaii first if I could. I just want to lounge by a pool with a pile of books and a mai tai or five. Although my birthday trip a couple years ago involved renting a house by the ocean and writing for a week, which was...amazing... W - Worst habit: I could call it procrastination, but it’s actually avoidance. I put things off for no good reason and end up getting mad at myself because of it way too often. Right now I’m avoiding: dishes, sending an email about my renter’s insurance, reading a script my brother sent me a month ago, cleaning the bathroom, getting groceries, making a dental appointment, putting away the laundry I washed yesterday, writing... X - Xrays you’ve had: Teeth (dental checkups, wisdom teeth), arm (broken - bicycle), foot (broken - ballet), chest (apparently fine but I was having worrying pains a few months ago). I think that’s it? Y - Your favorite food: My mom’s fajitas. But if you’re going with a generic category of food, probably pizza. I grew up thinking pizza was a choice between Dominos and Pizza Hut (Little Caesar’s sometimes, if you were in the right mood), and then I discovered that it can be so much more. I’d probably eat it every day of the week if I could. My very favorite pizza topping is asparagus and snap peas, although I like lots of different ones. Z - Zodiac sign: Leo. I fit aspects of it but not others. 

If you see this and wanna do it, consider yourself tagged!

Stop Holding My Hand And Let Me Masturbate Already

Official review of Pokemon Sun and Moon via Lord Waffle King Dot Com.

www.lordwaffleking.com is still currently down and under construction so I’m just gonna post this here for now.

The Pokemon series has come quite a long way. From the very first games for the Game Boy, all through the many sequels and spin-offs, the world of Pokemon has grown exponentially and touched many, many lives. I’ve been a huge Pokemon guy ever since the first games, and whenever a new one is announced, I’m always nothing less than enthralled.

They’ve been with me through it all, man. When I was learning to read? There’s a lot of reading in Pokemon. When I was learning to make friends? Pokemon was what brought us together. And when I started touching myself for the first time? Yeah, I busted some fat nuts on Pokemon.

And then Pokemon Sun and Moon came along. I followed the news all the way up until release. I reported it all, right here on WWW Dot Lord Waffle King Dot Com. The designs looked great. The game looked perfect. I was sure this would be the greatest one yet, beating out my previous favorite that was Black and White.

I was very, very wrong.

Pokemon Sun and Moon have to be the greatest train-wreck of a Pokemon game I’ve ever played. To simply call the game “bad” wouldn’t quite explain the situation well enough, but I wouldn’t hesitate to call it my least favorite Pokemon game. And it really breaks my heart.

In my time playing Sun and Moon, I lost interest several times. Something that’s never happened to me before in a Pokemon game. I had to force myself to complete it, and only because I wanted to know who all the characters were so I could jerk off to hentai of them.

I mean, you can’t just whack it to a girl you don’t know. What kind of animal does that? Someone that doesn’t respect women, that’s who.

Pokemon games have slowly become more and more bloated over the years, but Sun and Moon are the first to ever truly be weighed down by it. Sun and Moon doesn’t know who it’s catering to anymore, and in an attempt to please everyone, they’ve really only succeeded in providing a clusterfuck of things that really don’t mesh well.

It’s an incredibly ambitious game, don’t get me wrong. Graphics are great for a 3DS game, and the presentation is phenomenal. A great soundtrack like always, and the Alola region has to be one of the best out of all of them. The Pokemon designs are fucking fantastic, all of the characters are likeable and well-developed. And surprisingly, even the story is great. The writing potentially rivals Black and White, actually. There’s real character development and everything. Not just a fat kid that likes to dance. In that sense, I’d actually rank it as one of the best Pokemon games. Possibly the best.

And yet the promising plot and world-building is held back by what I can only assume was corporate meddling on the Pokemon Company’s part to try and make the game appeal to the little shits sucking their glue through a straw because their negligent moms let them play Pokemon Go in the fucking street. Maybe they felt like they had to compete with Yo-Kai Watch and try to make the whole game into one long cartoon episode.

Fuck that shit though.

I wanted to explore Alola. I wanted to catch Pokemon and immerse myself in this world. I wanted a grand adventure. What I got was a special ed class Easter egg hunt. Getting lead by the hand to all the conspicuously placed Easter eggs, and having them all pointed out to me and placed gently in my basket by an adult so that I wouldn’t accidentally shove them up my ass by mistake.

It’s like going to Disney World with gassy Uncle Boris. No, don’t go on ride. Uncle Boris no feel good. Uncle Boris eat too much asparagus. Please, keep walking. We walk around park and go home.

Elsa and Snow White could be flashing their tits and beckoning you to join them on the fucking tea cup ride, but no. Keep walking. Look, there’s Mickey Mouse over there. No, you can’t go say hi to him. That’s not a part of the fucking tour. Keep walking.

The entire first half of the game feels like one long tutorial. It doesn’t at any point let you go to explore on your own time. You go where it tells you, you explore the way it wants you to. Read all of the dialogue, do the battles it presents to you, watch all of the completely unnecessary cutscenes. Why so many cutscenes? Pokemon doesn’t need that many. The cutscenes are done very well, yes. They help to build up the characters and make the emotional impact they deliver in the end that much more powerful. Sure. But the same was accomplished with N in Pokemon Black and White, and it didn’t require stagnating the whole fucking game.

When the action does open up, during that entire first half of the game that spans two of the region’s four islands, it hardly even makes a difference. The islands are designed in such a linear fashion, there really isn’t even a need for the map that takes up the bottom half of the screen. It’s a straight, Point A to Point B map. There are no “dungeons” in the same sense that older Pokemon games have had. Caves, forests, and other places to explore are kept to a minimum, and when there are some, they’re usually presented as part of the game’s “trials” which replace the gyms from older games.

Which would be fine, if it didn’t hold your hand through trials just in case battling a singular wild “Totem” Pokemon with slightly higher stats than usual was too hard for you. It tells you very clearly where to go, what to do, and how to do it. The mini-map on the bottom screen, which is an unfortunate waste of UI space, always has a very clear marker point of where you’re supposed to go. It’ll even offer you little hints. Say, didn’t the professor go that way, you know, where the little red flag is? Gosh, there might be something important there. Let’s go there.

There’s genuinely a point in the game where the map will present a goal for you, and then instead of just letting you go there, you’ll walk out and find that an NPC was out there waiting for you with a brief cutscene telling you which way the mini-map, that’s always on the bottom pointing you in the right direction, wanted you to go. And then it’ll proceed to lead you there, having you follow the NPC all the way to the trial site. You know, in case a giant red flag on the bottom screen was too hard to find.

And that’s after the fucking two island-long tutorial.

This was a big step in making the game autism-proof, I get it. It was to make sure that the generation of kids raised on Angry Birds and fidget spinners could play the game just like everyone else. But there’s no way to turn it the fuck off? I wanna play Pokemon games too. Come on.

Pretty much every older DS Pokemon game used the bottom screen in a better way. Even Pokemon Ranger. I’d rather draw fucking circles than put up with this bullshit. Sure, make the completely redundant mini-map the default. But there’s so much more you could’ve put there.

The incredibly promising Poke Pelago, a touch screen-based way to interact with your Pokemon, is locked away in menus when it could’ve easily been at your fingertips at all times. And on top of that, every time you want to use it, you need to watch an unskippable cutscene of your trainer traveling to the fucking Poke Pelago just to use it.

The touch controls are also fairly sloppy with Poke Pelago, something surprising considering Pokemon’s years of slowly perfecting its touch screen UI. There’s so many tiny sprites on the bottom screen moving around, it’s easy to accidentally tap the wrong thing when you’re just trying to collect some God damned beans.

So many strides have been made in eliminating annoying quirks that the games have had for ages, and yet all the tiny steps towards progress are fucked up by glaring bad design choices.

It’s really sad, it really is. It’s like a Miss America pageant contestant in Pokemon game form. It’s really fucking gorgeous. I’d fuck it. And the script, clearly, had had a lot of work put into it. But in the end, it’s just really fucking stupid. If you asked Sun and Moon what it meant to them to be a Pokemon game, they would ramble on incoherently about Pokemon games bringing people together for ten minutes, and then point to an Alolan form Pokemon and say “Kanto, remember?” You can get your favorite Pokemon from the first games, but now they have a much more exotic penis.

And yet even with the shitty execution, I still felt the emotional climax at the end of the game. Which made it so hard for me to accept how much I hated it. By the end of the game, I wanted to love it, I really did. But now all I feel is the disappointment of how much better it could’ve been if they didn’t butcher it.

A Pokemon Sun and Moon where I get to explore all of the islands without cutscenes every couple steps. Where there aren’t ten different forms of point markers to tell you where you’re supposed to go at any given point, and I can play the game to its fullest without worrying about accidentally overpowering myself. Almost every cutscene ends with someone giving you ten Max Revives. And they heal your Pokemon for you on top of it. There was really no reason to ever use healing items or Pokemon Centers, which are now conveniently located on almost every route now instead of only towns, because everyone would heal you before every major battle anyway. There was a time where I actually used healing items, because I was towards the end of the game. But no, they were wasted. As soon as I approach this powerful, endgame trainer, someone steps in and pitches me an entire medicine cabinet and heals my Pokemon for me.

There’s a difference between “Oh, just turn the Exp. Share off, then it won’t be too easy” and “Oh, just don’t talk to anyone, don’t buy anything, don’t battle too much, don’t explore the miscellaneous side-quests on each route, don’t use the Poke Pelago, turn Exp. Share off, don’t look at your bottom screen, ignore all of the cutscene dialogue, and don’t do any of the StreetPass Festival Plaza shit or whatever. Come on, it’s not too easy”.

It’s like if they made a reality TV show where you have to live in the same house as 8 different grandmas, but try not to get fat from them stuffing you full of food. You can refuse all you want, but they’re gonna get you. Even if you eat only three times a day, you’re gonna die of cardiac arrest. And you’re only allowed to murder one, the rest have to go from natural causes. There’s no way you’ll take home the million-dollar prize. You have better chances of beating the robot from Jeopardy.

Even the obnoxious feature where Pokemon call for help doesn’t do anything to balance the game, it just makes it more of a drag.

“Too easy” or “for casuals” would be the cop out verdict. The truth is that the game is just miserably balanced, relying on an instant gratification-style of gameplay and a slow-paced narrative that makes the game intolerable. The point where things start actually getting good is the brief half hour before it cuts to the credits, and then the game is over before it even starts.

It’s like not being able to get your peepee up and then when it’s finally up you blast your load immediately.

I think a lot of people did not actually like Sun or Moon, despite the overwhelmingly positive reviews. I don’t think a lot of people played it all the way through, actually. It’s a lot like when No Man’s Sky launched, and everyone was pretending to love it until someone said something about it. Several people told me Sun and Moon was just fantastic, and then they’d say “yeah, I’m on the second island now” and then they’d just leave the game for something else.

I think a lot of people just watched all the leaks and then beat off to hentai of the new characters and then just pretended like they finished the game. Not saying that no one at all enjoyed the game, I’m sure a lot of people did. A lot of people could’ve looked past the glaring flaws and loved it for what it was.

That doesn’t stop the fact that it’s still the only Pokemon game I’ve ever played that I didn’t have fun with. And that will be a mark of shame that the game has to wear. I almost wish that all I did was watch the leaks and never play the game. I could’ve lived with the illusion that Pokemon could do no wrong.

But no. I had to be a gentleman and learn the names of all the trainers before looking up hentai of them.

This is why chivalry is fucking dead.

Ramiel Valentine’s Extra

Here’s extra three, featuring Ramiel. It’s a little more mature than the other two, but nothing explicit. This is probably about as far as the game will go into detail, but that’s not entirely set in stone. I’m not sure it would exactly qualify as mature, but better to be on the safe side.

To that end, I’m sort of struggling with how... intense?... to make the romance scenes, I suppose. I tend not to have a filter in most writing (at least when it comes to sex). I curbed this scene intentionally. I’m going to talk a little more about this in the CoG forum post.

Anyways, enjoy!

You fumble with the keys to the loft, cursing as you drop them. It was late, you were tired, and you knew you needed food even though the thought was unappetizing at the moment. The gruesome nature of the double homicide that you had been woken up to at four am this morning had put you in a bad mood from the start. The scene had been so contaminated by the time you had arrived, both by the well-meaning group of teenagers who had found them—some of which you suspected had been less well-meaning and more morbidly curious—and the damned rain, that the evidence had been less than helpful.

You were still waiting on the lab for the toxicology reports, and with Zaria on vacation, you had had to sit through a rather bumbling excuse for an initial autopsy report from the poor substitute who was working in her stead. The death notifications had gone over worse than normal, to the point that one of the distressed relatives had actually broken a vase in their grief. Preliminary interviews hadn’t revealed any good motivations—they were such a nice couple, no one ever had any problems with them, they weren’t in any financial trouble, they had no jealous exes, nobody had any problems with them whatsoever.

In other words, it was a load of bullshit that you were still wading through, trying to find the thread to unravel the tangled snarl that this case was turning out to be. That was on top of the fact that you had had green tea spilled on you, and then your computer had gone on the fritz—probably a reaction to your Grace, but that wasn’t an explanation you could give tech support—causing you to lose what you had been working on, and to compound the lousy day, some idiot rookie had gotten off on your floor with a rowdy suspect for a completely different case who had knocked over your murder board, causing you and your partner to have to waste time redoing the whole thing, in addition to subduing the man. You may or may not have cheated and knocked him unconscious with your Grace.

All in all, you were ready to be done with this day.

As you bend over to grab your keys, the door opens, and you glance up, ready to chide Daniel for being up this late. He still had school in the morning, and waiting up for you was not a valid—

The words die in your throat as you take in the pressed slacks leading up to a trim waist, a white-collared button-up tucked in, but as you trace the buttons upwards, you can see that the owner of the shirt had popped the top couple buttons and—

“And it’s more comfortable that way, especially when I wasn’t sure when or if you would be home,” Ramiel states, and you close your mouth, wondering exactly what you had said out loud.

“You look like you had a rough day,” Ramiel says, somewhat amusedly as he pulls you to your feet, plucking the keys out of your hand as he ushers you into your own apartment with a hand on your lower back.

“What are you doing here?” you ask, as Ramiel continues guiding you to the couch. He relieves you of your jacket and other personal items, including your personal sidearm with an ease that vaguely alarms you.

“I have watched you take it off, love,” Ramiel says, smiling up at you from where he was crouched by your feet, busy removing your shoes.

Apparently you had been speaking out loud. Again.

“Just stay here and tell me about your day,” he says, rising gracefully to his feet with your clothing and other items. It wasn’t fair how relaxed he looked, still dressed in his slacks from his ‘day job’ as a lawyer and dress top. He had rolled up the sleeves though, and his tie was missing—something you should have noted when you were staring at the sliver of his chest you could see through the open collar, so he had been here for a while.

Daniel must have let him in. You hadn’t gotten around to making another key, and the wards wouldn’t let him in unless you or Daniel opened the door for him. Maybe it should be a bit alarming that your kid was letting in your boyfriend without discussing it with you first, but right now you didn’t have the energy to care.

“Here.” You look up as a plastic tumbler, complete with cap and bendy straw, appear in front of your face.

“A sippy-cup?” you ask, frowning. Ramiel leans further over the back of the couch, pressing a kiss to the top of your head.

“Love, you would be upset if you spilled the wine on yourself or the couch, and as rough as you are looking right now, I dare not give you anything fragile or anything with an open top,” he says, still sounding far too amused by this whole situation.

You scowl, but take the cup anyways, sucking noisily on the straw just to be irritating. Ramiel moves back, ruffling your hair as he moves into your kitchen. The microwave goes off, and you can smell something delicious. Your stomach seems to concur, rumbling loudly.

Ramiel moves around the couch into your view, carrying a tray with a plate of leftover chicken parmigiana with a side of asparagus and a slice of garlic bread. He sets it gently on your lap before taking a seat beside you.

“You may be an angel, Gabriel, but your shell still needs fuel. Especially given that you’ve had a very long day.” You nod your head as you half-listen to him, mostly preoccupied with scarfing down your food and satisfying the pit in your stomach. It was warm, it was right in front of you, and you were fairly sure it was delicious though you were devouring it too fast to be sure on that last point.

“Alright, I don’t think there’s anything left,” Ramiel says, reaching over and relieving you of the tray. You stare forlornly at the plate, scraped clean, only reluctantly relinquishing the tray into Ramiel’s grasp. He gets up, and as soon as he was off the couch you flop over onto his side, enjoying the heated cushion, curling your feet up onto the side you’d mostly vacated.

“Lift your legs.” Ramiel had returned, and he was staring down at you, a fond smile on his face. Grumbling, you do so, and your Fallen boyfriend slides under them. He was pleasantly warm, and you twist your torso so you can look at him better.

“Work sucked,” you say, only slightly whining. “Humans are so—so—” the word you want eludes you, so you settle for waving a hand in the air.

“I hear it is generally more tolerable when one has sufficient sleep,” Ramiel says, starting to massage your feet. You let out a quiet groan at the feeling, pressing into his strong fingers.

“That’s nice,” you tell him, as he continues his ministrations.

“Well, I had come over to have dinner with you and Daniel. We figured the case was keeping you late, but we didn’t anticipate it would keep you this late especially since you were called out so early this morning,” he says softly. You blink slowly at him, before it hits you.

“Oh shit. Dinner. Tonight. We talked about it last week.” You feel a faint niggle of guilt in your gut, but Ramiel just shake his head gently.

“Gabriel, it’s fine. I know how important your work is to you. Daniel and I had a pleasant meal and a good discussion, though he did seem intent on determining my exact intentions towards you,” Ramiel says, his massage moving up your feet to your calves.

“He what?” you ask, half-sitting up. Ramiel breaks out into a boisterous laugh at the expression on your face, his head falling back. Not for the first time, you think that he might be one of the most human angels you’ve ever met. No, not angel, you remind yourself. Fallen.

But looking at him now, you would dare anyone to tell you that he was any different than he had been before. Maybe a little older, a little wiser, and not as scruffy, but he was still Ramiel.

And of course, now he was yours.

You forget what you were asking about, moving so you were straddling his lap on the couch. Ramiel sobers up, his head dropping so he can look inquisitively at you.

“I like it when you laugh,” you say, tracing the faint laugh lines around his mouth with one finger.

“That’s good,” he says, turning his head to playfully nip at the offending finger.

Your brain tracks back to what he was saying earlier, and you sit up a little straighter, trying to stare down at Ramiel. “So, Ramiel,” you start, putting on your best ‘bad cop’ impersonation, “what are your intentions with me?”

Ramiel’s eyes darken, the pupils dilating as he tilts his head back slightly to look up at you in your raised position. “Well,” he drawls slowly, his hands coming up to gently stroke up your arms, pausing at your shoulders before wandering back down, stopping at your elbows and shifting so he can grasp your waist.

“My original intentions were to feed you and ensure you had a relaxing evening. I’ve accomplished the former, and you sort of missed the entire evening at work.” You narrow your eyes at him as he rubs his thumbs over your hip bones in small circles, the touch intimate but not overtly sexual.

“Well, I do appreciate the food,” you say, leaning down and hovering with your lips just above his, watching the way his eyes track every minute change in your face. “But with the day I’ve had, I’m thinking I could do with some other forms of distraction.”

His hands tighten abruptly, pulling your body snug against his. Without warning he stands up, and you let out an undignified squawk of protest, instinctively wrapping your legs around his waist and your arms around his neck. “Warn me!” you say breathlessly, even as one of his arms moves down to support your bottom and the other shifts up higher on your back.

“You started it,” Ramiel tells you, moving effortlessly with you through your apartment towards your bedroom. You couldn’t help but be a little envious of his inhuman strength, given the limitations you had to deal with in your mortal shell.

“As long as you finish it,” you retort, wincing slightly as the words escape you. You peek at Ramiel’s face, seeing his arched eyebrow.

“I think the people at my work are rubbing off on me,” you say, chagrined.

“I don’t think that’s bad at all. And trust me, I do plan on… finishing… you,” he says, the innuendo heavy in his words. You flush, feeling heat jolt through you. Your earlier tiredness was fading away as Ramiel backs into the door to your room, and you only just remember to duck so as not to hit your head on the frame.

He kicks the door shut with his foot and moves towards the bed with increased speed. You realize what’s about to happen almost too late as he abruptly drops his arms away. Instead of dropping to the bed as he intended, you cling tightly to him. “Not. Funny.”

“It wasn’t meant to be,” Ramiel says into your shoulder. “But I can’t take my or your clothes off with you clinging to me.”

“I don’t like being dropped,” you respond. Ramiel huffs softly, but slowly bends over, lowering you gently to the bed. Reluctantly you release him and he draws back to look into your face. “That better, love?” he asks, kissing the tip of your nose before standing up.

You hum softly as you scoot up the bed, watching eagerly as Ramiel starts to unbutton his top. Catching your gaze, he slows his movements, making a show of it. Part of you feels annoyed, but part of you is also enjoying the slow revelation of his flawless skin, inhumanly perfect. As he finishes stripping off the shirt, your eyes trace down his well-defined chest, abruptly struck by the strange absence of a belly-button. Angels don’t have them, but you had grown so accustomed to your mortal shell that the lack of it was momentarily disconcerting.

You blink, shaking off the strange thought as Ramiel carefully tosses his shirt into the hamper in the closet, not even looking. He hooks his thumbs into his pants, drawing them down over his hips with almost agonizing slowness.

“You know, I’m almost done undressing, but you still seem to have too many clothes on,” he says, his eyes raking over your still clothed form. You scowl and sit up, impatiently tugging your top off. Your pants and underclothes take a bit more maneuvering, requiring you to do a little flopping about like a fish as you wriggle them off your hips.

You hear a suspicious snort as you finally free yourself of the confines of your clothes, chucking them haphazardly in the direction of the hamper, aware that none of them probably hit their target.

“Don’t you dare laugh,” you tell Ramiel, sitting back up and folding your arms across your bare chest. Ramiel hastily schools his face into something more neutral.

“Of course not. I would never,” he says, finishing baring himself to you. “My eyes are up here, love,” he adds, and you tear your gaze back up to his face.

“You’re the one standing naked at the foot of my bed. Can’t blame me for admiring the view,” you inform him, as he slowly kneels on the bed. He starts to crawl his way up the bed towards you, reaching up with one hand to remove his hair tie, letting the dark waves fall around his face.

He reaches out a hand and snags one of your ankles, and before you can protest, he tugs you flat onto your back, drawing you under him with ease. “I rather like the view myself,” he murmurs, before closing the distance between you and kissing you sensuously. He moves from your mouth to your neck, down to the junction where it meets your shoulder. There’s a momentary sting and you swat at him.

“No marks above the collar,” you hiss, as he draws back. “I don’t need the flak that will get me at work,” you add.

“It won’t be there in the morning,” he says in response, shifting his weight to balance on one hand, his brows furrowing briefly. “I just wanted to show you this,” he adds softly, lifting his free hand to the mark he had made.

For a brief moment, you sense discomfort, a side-effect of a Fallen’s Grace brushing against your own. But then the discomfort is gone, replaced by a soothing warmth all too familiar to you, the scent of cedar flooding your senses.

“Your Grace!” you say, startled. He shouldn’t be able to heal you like that, not as a Fallen. You sit up, almost knocking your head into him. “What—how—”

“You.” Ramiel’s reply was simple, but he holds your gaze, a mixture of pride and pain in his eyes. “I don’t really know, but I know that it has to do with you.”

You open your mouth to ask more questions but he silences you with a kiss, stealing your breath. “Not now. Not tonight,” he says, voice taking on a rough quality.

“Tonight is about you.” He cups your chin with his hand, slowly guiding you back onto the bed, following you down, his weight warm and firm against your body without being uncomfortable. “After all, I do have to finish what I started, don’t I?” he whispers into your ear, before biting gently on the earlobe.

“I plan on making sure that you are quite satisfied tonight, perhaps into this morning,” he continues, once more trailing kisses down your neck and across your collar bone, deviating to the area above your mortal heart.

“Let me worship you, my love. Tonight, just let me take care of you. Tomorrow you can go back to saving the world by putting away one murderer at a time,” he says into your skin. “Just for right now, be mine, and mine alone.”

“I’m always yours,” you say to the top of his head. “It’s a side effect of being in love. Just like you’re mine.”

He shifts his head to look up at you, eyes warm and soft underneath the desire. “And I’m yours, for the rest of my existence,” he says. “And yes, I love you too.” He raises himself up to free his hands, letting them resume their somewhat possessive hold on your waist. “Now let me show you some of the ways I plan on regularly reminding you of how much I love you,” he adds, roguish grin telling you that you were going to be in for quite the satisfying night.

march: week 1

feb27: i felt good going to work this morning! i love going into the office. cole gave me sass when i got in and he bought doughnuts this week for all of us. yay (: my faves so far are the honey dipped and apple fritter. i worked on the non-recording parts of the videos while chatting about pokemon showdown with charles and cole. then the rest of the afternoon consisted of meetings. after my second to last meeting, i packed up and commuted home to wfh and wait for the 5:30 meeting i had. i waited 15 minutes for the train though so idk if it was worth it. as soon as i got home, i went back to work and then went straight into the meeting. after my meeting, i had the worst headache, my sinus was plugged, and my stomach hurt. i tried prepping for dinner but i stopped after putting away the dishes and took a nap. kevin woke me up when he got back from climbing and then i went back to sleep. then i woke up after he was done showering. i still felt like shat so i spent a good amount of time in bed while kevin made loco moco for dinner/lunch. i couldn’t eat because i kept spitting up mucus/stomach acid so i just showered. after my shower, i felt a lot better though. i went to bed and watched some youtube videos before going to sleep at like 11 pm or 12 am. kevin takes good care of me when i feel ill. i really wanted to exercise though...

feb28: i woke up a bit late and just took my time getting to work. i felt better-ish. i felt good enough to commute and work in the office. i got there at 9:30 am, which is not that late (i usually get to the office at 9:10 - 9:15 am). today was a packed day with meetings so i buckled down and did some work with ux360. hmm i’ve hit a wall on my project but i just need some time to think about solving this problem i’m having. it’ll work out -- i just gotta keep trying out things and keep doing rather than sitting and thinking. the rest of the day was packed with meetings and training. i got back home after falling over this elderly man. he had to switch spots with me and make the other people holding onto the pole move so i could hold on to it. i thanked him profusely. when i got home, i ate an apple hand pie and some chips. then i washed dishes and prepped for the one pot spring pasta recipe we were making for dinner/lunch today. :) it was surprisingly easy. i chopped us mushrooms, snapped asparagus, minced garlic, and then took the skin off the chicken thigh and cut it into pieces.

kevin came back later than expected because the barbershop was packed. he got us lemonade boba (they were out of green tea again) and they were alright. i disliked the blueberry one though. we finished cooking the pasta together (super easy) and then we microwaved leftovers and watched izombie while eating. we got to watch 3 episodes before he went to game and i exercised. i did a regular / ab toning workout today for 60 minutes. i did 30 minutes of hip hop cardio and 30 minutes of abs. i went to shower right after kevin and then i packed lunch for tomorrow and went to sleep later than usual at 1:15 am or something like that. we still haven’t had time to talk about our one week vacation in the spring/summer but we will get to it!

01: as i was crossing the street, my lunch box fell out of my bag? whut. did i not zip the bottom compartment this morning? LOL. someone scurried and helped me. i was very thankful. lol what’s wrong with me this week? it’s probably lack of sleep. anyway, i got to work and spent an hour or so doing personal errands online such as adding money to my charlie card, adjusting bank alerts, and shipping out goodies for two of my favorite people ;D so excited. then i got to work and then it was 12 pm... the rest of the day was just working. i left a bit early to catch an emptier train. when i got back home, i snacked again and then watched jane the virgin while washing the dishes and washing the rice. i finished watching and then decided to work out. kevin got back when i had about 8 minutes left and then he showered. after my workout, i cooked two over easy eggs perfectly ;D for our loco moco. then i took a real quick shower and ate dinner while watching izombie with kevin. kevin went to game and then i kind of dozed off while on my phone. i was really annoyed by the people upstairs. they were playing loud af music? stomping? dancing? and playing live music? i was so confused. you could feel the vibrations even in the hallway. i got real tired so i went to bed at around 11 pm, played some pokemon, and then went to sleep. i forget when.

02: i dressed like a bum today, but i was comfy. the office was so full. stephen was back and then matthew was here and yeah. it was nice. i did some work in the morning while chatting with charles and cole about macross LOL. then they had their tech thursdays with pizza. we were all teasing cole about picking up the pizza and forgetting the beverages. :P it was my first time experiencing it because they rolled the screen out. i had my lunch and watched a youtube video and then right after, experienced an interesting development in my work life. i think someone (also cole and kevin thinks) a now previous co-worker hit on me? not sure. i’m still confused but it was via linkedin and it was interesting. charles just gave me a shrug LOL. then we hopped on a call with all the new peeps to understand t7′s ux methodology and cole was panicking because he kind of forgot and didn’t have the go-to app downloaded and he was having technical difficulties. lol, cole. my work life is much fuller with him in it hahahahaha.

then i went back to work and got on the standup. oh, i messaged with jeanne and kevin a bit before and during lunch. i can’t wait to go to new yorkkkk. i was pretty antsy the rest of the day. i got cole to go to the kitchen area with me to get a free half a turkey sandwich. then we left a bit early to go to “au chocolat” and get some chocolate because cole went to get donuts in the morning without me :( there was so much to choose from but i got a turtle pattie (for kevin because he likes nutty chocolate) and a vegan, non-dairy, gluten free, etc version of peanut cups (pea not cups). then we split at the train station and i met up with kevin. the pea not cup tasted like sweet sunflower seeds and a bit like peanut butter? kinda not worth. we got home and then fell into a nap...until 8 or something. i woke up grumpy because i wanted to be productive this evening lol. we ate our minimal leftovers and then kevin made himself a quesadilla and then we watched izombie. then i exercised and kevin gamed. i think we went to sleep at our regular time...?

03: i thought it was going to be a chill wfh day but things changed and i had a lot of work to do. i didn’t get up early to exercise because i thought i could sneak in some of it in between video tutorials so i was a bit upset i didn’t because we were going to be on a bus for 5 hours T__T anyway, i worked my butt off taking minimal breaks and then kevin had a super chill day (literally) -- he went to work and had nothing to do and then came back and gamed. so i got pretty frustrated at him because here i am working and he’s kind of not helping pack and etc? yeah, he left to go to south station earlier than me to pick up food and to get away from my grouchy pants. i worked up until i had to leave. then i rushed to curl my hair, pack everything kevin didn’t get and my other stuff, wash the dishes, and leave. i got to the bus terminal probably 10 minutes before we left. at that point i lost track of time and i was just like ‘i’m gonna get there when i get there.’

we didn’t talk to each other for a bit and then we did. we’re going to spend 5 hours together on this train so it was pointless being mad. i ate my dinner right away and then we both napped. kevin napped for like 3 hours (wtf) and i woke up after 1 hr and 30 minutes... i listened to music, browsed the web, etc. then kevin got up, we listened to music together, he played pokemon, and we watched the newest episode of supernatural together (he got the stream at home and then we watched it on the bus). then we were delayed by like 40 minutes or something because of traffic but kevin said this happened to him last time. i guess don’t megabus after work on a friday. jeanne tried waiting for us which delayed her dinner time so i felt real bad T__T i’m sorry bb. it was also hella cold outside. when we got to our stop, we commuted to jeanne’s and had to walk through horrendous winds to get there. we were greeted by a slightly disgruntled jeanne but i was so happy to see her :)

we caught up a bit and i was amazed at her apartment because there is a fake wall separator for florence’s room that looks like a real wall. it’s so amazing. i met jisoo and florence toooo. we talked and then we retired after jisoo told us that she was trying to sleep haha. it was nice talking to friends in person again LOLLL. i’m so socially deprived, but i’m ok with it (sometimes i’m not). so then kevin and i stayed up a bit longer looking at rugs and bathroom mats on society6. then i charged everything and showered and brushed my teeth. i looked up a brunch place to eat tomorrow as well. we inhaled a ton of water. x__x my skin and my body was super dehydrated after the bus. maybe the bus brought it out because i was having trouble with my dry af skin these past couple of weeks. my face was so dry. anyway, i ko’d on the couch after i showered and i don’t remember kevin ever finishing his shower x___x i think it was 2 or 3 am.

04: i woke up at 10:30 am and it was dark...that’s because the living room is separated LOL. i saw peeks of sun coming through jeanne’s room so i knew it was actually 10 am. i tried waking up kevin but he was still sleepy so i just brushed my teeth and put on an aloe mask and then did some internet errands. then kevin got up and we tried getting brunch with jeanne but she was still commuting back home. so kevin and i walked to cafe henri in the blistering cold. my ears were throbbing by the time we got there, but the food was so good. we got a citron chaud (actually i just drank kevin’s) and i got a le poulet ratatouille sandwich and a honey crepe. kevin got their signature eggs benedict. so yummmm. we’ll definitely be back. after eating, we were warm and our bellies were full. we stopped by the chase nearby, stopped by a health store and i ended up buying tea for my stomach and pms, and then stopped by moma ps1. we were instantly drawn to the gift shop and then went inside to pee and look at all of the contemporary art. it was uhhh interesting -- i still do not like contemporary art. it was nice seeing artwork and walking around though.

we stopped by the gift shop again and got really into the cook books. there were so many and they were all so beautiful! we walked back to jeanne’s and chatted with her while she woke from her nap. then we got ready to head out to eat at momofuku! jisoo joined us and we took an uber. the wait was going to be about 1 hr and 30 minute and we had a party of 7 (jeanne’s friend with other friends). so we rq’d and found another ramen place called ‘minca.’ we had to separate because they didn’t have seating for 7 (almost nowhere in ny has seating for 7). anyway, it was delicious and we got the shrimp gyoza and i got the chicken ramen with veggies. kevin got the signature minca sio ramen. we all ate and then we chatted with john (jeanne’s friend), frederick, and jason (john’s friends). we all walked to kung fu tea and then got bubble tea and sat and chatted. everyone was so funny and nice (:

frederick went home when we all ubered back to jeanne’s. jenny, john (flo’s bf), and flo were waiting for us to play board games! we played a round of bang and i dominated ;D i won it for the outlaws hahaha. then jeanne and i went to the fitness center to do my 45 minute 500 calorie burner workout. we could only get halfway because they close the fitness center at 11 pm. -__-” i got jeanne to sweat though haha. we went back up and got everyone to do face masks. my skin is burning from the cold and also peeling T_T same with jeanne’s skin. then we played spot it and it was so much fun. i got kicked from my high pedestal after a while and got placed last. x__x then jeanne went to shower and we just sat and talked for a bit. the others played exploding kittens and then i just talked with jeanne and john. then i talked with jeanne for a bit before showering and then ko’d after talking with jeanne in bed. zzzzz. it was around 3 am when we ko’d.

05: i woke up before the alarm went off at 9:00 am. i woke kevin up, we packed up, and then we left. thanks for hosting us, flo, jeanne, and jisoo! it was a lot of fun even though it was a super short trip x( kevin and i hopped on the subway and then stopped by mcdonald’s to get breakfast and then stopped at subway to get lunch for the megabus. the megabus location was so cold because it wasn’t the terminal -- it was just a line outside. we hopped on the bus hoping to get the front seats but they were reserved. we still got pretty good seats near the stairs and the bus was pretty empty. kevin fell asleep right away, i fell asleep listening to edm LOL and then we both woke up and i watched youtube videos, read my new love unknown book and then listened to some more music. kevin played pokemon and i eventually ate half of my subway sandwich. i got a very healthy turkey breast with veggies on multigrain bread sub huhuhu. i dozed off a bit and then decided to put on a face mask. kevin checked our location and realized that we were gonna get to south station 40 minutes before our estimated time of arrival?! we apparently got on the 11 am boston bus instead of the 11:40 am LOL.

we took the train home and then kevin went to shower right away, i put on the latest episode of reign and unpacked. then we meal planned and i showered and then we went to get groceries. it was a super fast grocery trip because we’re eating out a lot this upcoming week. we came back and then made ketchup spaghetti and it is delicious! i ate the other half of my subway and then ate a bit of the spaghetti. my appetite is messed up again? i’m eating and snacking a lot for some reason. we also got a good amount of snacks: pepero, pineapple cake, baked asian cracker chips, and yeah...mmm. kevin went to meet up with priya and then i chilled for a bit before cleaning the kitchen and bathroom thoroughly. then i did my 45 minute 500 calorie blaster workout, showered, and finished laundry. oh, i started two loads of laundry and then folded everything and then put everything away and made the bed before ko’ing before 1 am in the bed. i was too tired to wait for kevin to get back lol. he did get back and i woke up because i had to pee and my legs were cold. then i ko’d again. :)

Eater Staffers on the Kitchen Tools They Can’t Live Without added to Google Docs

Eater Staffers on the Kitchen Tools They Can’t Live Without

 Shutterstock

These pots and pans, appliances, and utensils have made cooking in quarantine a little bit easier

As the weeks of social distancing and recommendations to stay home as much as possible stretch on, cooking has taken on both more urgency and more burden. Luckily, there are products that, whether by intention or not, can ease the load, making spending so much time cooking so much easier.

Below, a roundup of the tools and products that have made Eater editors’ kitchen lives better. And if you’re looking for more on what to cook with said tools, check out our guide for folks who literally never cook as well as our pantry-cooking guide.

Pots and Pans Whirlpool nonstick griddle

“Maybe the best part of a recent move has been playing with the nonstick griddle that straddles two burners atop my new stove. I’ve used it to char tomatoes, peppers, and garlic cloves for salsa, revive leftover steak, toast slices of sourdough, and inflate Indian chapati to accompany this cilantro chutney chicken recipe. A quick wipe down keeps it clean, so that accounts for one less dish to wash while the sink piles up.” — Gabriel Hiatt, Eater DC editor

Cook N Home nonstick wok

“I never knew that I could fall in love with my wok, but here I am. This wok brings me so much joy when I’m cooking. It’s sturdy so it can hold a lot of stuff; it’s big enough to cook a family-sized portion. The pan’s marbling coat makes sure that nothing gets stuck on the bottom, from braising short ribs to frying eggs. I use this pan for everything from stews to fried rice; it’s incredibly versatile! I know it’s overwhelming to look through different wok options, but for home cooks who want to cook many different dishes without having to clean up any residuals, this is the one. The price is also extremely affordable, so what’s not to love?” — James Park, social media manager

Great Jones sheet pan

“This is the first ‘fancy’ sheet pan I’ve ever had, generally preferring basics from restaurant supply stores or else the cheapest available from retailers like Williams-Sonoma. Intrigued by the company’s promise that it doesn’t warp, I ordered one last year and have not been disappointed. Since shelter-in-place started, though, I’ve found myself reaching for it over my other sheet pans, and I’m 99 percent sure it’s because the vibrant color stands out among my pans and makes cooking feel that much more lively. I’ve used it to make cookies, nachos, and all sorts of roasted vegetables, but also as a Bananagrams board and a photo backdrop.” — Hillary Dixler Canavan, restaurant editor

Appliances Panasonic toaster oven

“I grew up in a toaster oven family — even now, everyone in my immediate family has the same one — but even I, a super fan, did not fully appreciate the appliance until I moved in late March, just as the COVID-19 outbreak hit NYC, and found myself living in an apartment with no gas for about a week and a half. As a result, I spent a lot of time with my toaster oven, sometimes cooking three square meals a day in it. It’s fast and versatile, good for so many things: roasting vegetables, baking brownies and small cakes, and, of course, just toasting bread or bagels or nuts and spices.” — Sonia Chopra, director of editorial growth

Ninja Express Chop

“I never really thought I needed a food processor — big or small, really — until I got the Ninja Express Chop. I had somehow managed to avoid all recipes that required one, since it seemed so bulky to move and a pain to clean. Once I got the Ninja Express Chop, all that changed. It’s small and easy to fit in the cabinet; and it easily comes apart into four simple pieces, all of which fit in my sink or dishwasher, so I don’t mind cleaning it, even when it’s coated with oil from herby salad dressings or flecks of basil from my homemade pesto — all things I never would have made until I got it.” — Ellie Krupnick, managing editor

OXO tea kettle

“Weirdly enough, I have been relying heavily on a tea kettle. I’ve been using it every single day at various times to boil water. I start with it in the morning to make oatmeal for breakfast and continue throughout the day to make tea and repurpose hot tea for iced to switch it up. I am trying to stay as hydrated as possible while I am home.” — Stephen Pelletteri, executive producer

Anova sous vide machine

“We’ve been using the Anova to cook large portions of pork shoulder that we then eat for days and days in tacos, ramen, and more. It’s a multi-day process including a 24-hour sous vide, 24 hours in the fridge, and then oven-roasting before pulling — lots of time, but mostly hands-off. (Try J. Kenji López-Alt’s recipe to start, and then experiment with your own variations. We’ve enjoyed adding a molasses glaze before it goes in the oven.) Hint: Reserve the cooked pork juices after the sous vide process to use with ramen — boil with the water in a one-to-one ratio for the best fancied up packaged ramen you’ve had.” — Rachel Leah Blumenthal, Eater Boston editor

Hamilton Beach panini press

“My cheap-ass panini maker is so much more than a device on which to make grilled cheese, even though that’s its most common use. It’s also a lovely way to make toast (that’s a grilled cheese sans cheese) or just warm up bread enough to apply butter. Going further off-label, I’ve been using it to cook up frozen hash brown patties (they’re done in a flash with a nice crispy crust, way better than the 20 minutes in the oven version) and grill baby asparagus (while full-sized asparagus is too girthy to cook completely, the babies do just fine). Is this why people bought George Foreman grills back in the day?” — Eve Batey, Eater San Francisco senior editor

Utensils Sur La Table fish spatula

“I’m an evangelist for this tool even under normal circumstances, and have gifted it more times than I can count. One of its purposes is obvious from its name: it’s great for flipping fish without having it break apart or damaging the skin. But I find myself using it daily, whether it’s to remove my meatloaf from its loaf pan or lift up a focaccia to see if it’s browning underneath.” — Missy Frederick, cities director

McoMce plastic bench scraper

I’ve gotten really, really tired of cleaning my kitchen during shelter-in-place, but this plastic bench scraper is a life-saver. It’s good for pushing dough out of bowls or scraping stubborn bits out of pots and pans, but I mostly use it to clean my kitchen sink. It makes quick work of collecting food scraps without having to pile them all into my hand (yuck). Once I’m done cleaning, I rinse it with a bit of soap, so that it’s ready to cut cinnamon rolls, collect herbs on my cutting board, and clean the sink — again.” — Elazar Sontag, staff writer

Storage Comfy Package plastic kitchen containers

“During this time where I’ve been cooking a lot and ordering a lot of food, plastic food storage containers have been my saviors. It’s a habit I picked up from my dad, who works at a New York City market. The multiple sizes, from the slim eight-ounce cups to the large 32-ounce containers, makes it easy to store anything, from leftover cream cheese to portioned-out frozen lentil soup. The sizes also make it easier to downsize leftovers in the fridge, thus clearing up space for more food.” — Nadia Chaudhury, Eater Austin editor

Ball glass jars

“Last summer we had a crazy infestation of pantry moths, so on the advice of our exterminator I started saving all of my glass jars to store flours and cereals and other moth-attracting ingredients in. Now that my pantry is more valuable than ever, I’m using these jars to keep all of my bulk staples like beans, grains, and pastas organized and easily visible. I use old peanut butter jars for the most part (my kids go through a jar a week), but I’d actually advise going a little bigger if you’re buying them new, with some wide-mouth half-gallon Ball jars or invest in some fancy straight-sided ones like these wood-topped ones from Target.” — Lesley Suter, travel editor

Other Stuff Final Touch rocks glass with ice ball

“I wanted to up my Manhattan game during the coronavirus pandemic, and the only new tool I bought was this rocks glass that includes a silicone mold to make a round ice cube. The rocks glass has a glass cylinder at the bottom so the round ice cube will roll around the bottom of the glass. It feels sophisticated to drink out of this glass, almost like I’m at a restaurant instead of at home.” — Susan Stapleton, Eater Vegas editor

Aerogarden countertop garden

“Two words: Breakfast salad. Yep, That’s been a thing in my life anytime I have my AeroGarden up and running and this quarantine called for it. Fresh herbs and lettuce in just a few weeks. I even threw some wild flowers in this time for some much needed cheer. Take that shallots-in-a-jar.” — Maureen Giannone Fitzgerald, production executive

via Eater - All https://www.eater.com/21216824/best-kitchen-equipment-tools-for-easy-cooking-at-home

Created May 29, 2020 at 10:26PM /huong sen View Google Doc Nhà hàng Hương Sen chuyên buffet hải sản cao cấp✅ Tổ chức tiệc cưới✅ Hội nghị, hội thảo✅ Tiệc lưu động✅ Sự kiện mang tầm cỡ quốc gia 52 Phố Miếu Đầm, Mễ Trì, Nam Từ Liêm, Hà Nội http://huongsen.vn/ 0904988999 http://huongsen.vn/to-chuc-tiec-hoi-nghi/ https://drive.google.com/drive/folders/1xa6sRugRZk4MDSyctcqusGYBv1lXYkrF

All!

macaroni and cheese: what makes you think of your childhood?

- the Halston Z-14 cologne, the sound of lawn mowers, Sesame Street, salt and vinegar chips, bonfires

spring green: how do you relax when you're feeling stressed?

- I take a bath and watch Moominvalley, sometimes I'll smoke a joint before hand

asparagus: already answered!

bittersweet: already answered!

eggplant: explain your URL and avatar

- huhnerhexen is german for chicken witch, I used to dog sit for my roommate and her dog knew me as "the chicken lady" but I also practice witchcraft and speak a little german so here we are. My avatar is the cover of Frog And Toad Are Friends, I grew up on Frog and Toad and I love them very much.

outer space: do you ever feel like you're an outcast from others?

- frequently

cotton candy: what is your favourite dessert?

- sex in a pan

freckle: do you have marks on your skin? how do you feel about them?

- I have moles, scars, rosacea, and tattoos. I'm fine with all of them, they make me unique

shocking pink: is there a trait that you have that others don't expect from you?

- depending on how we meet, a lot of the holiday hires at work are surprised that I'm as goofy as I am bc I'm very much a "let's get down to business" kind of guy; new friends are sometimes surprised by the amount of passive aggression I can hold inside my tiny body

robin's egg blue: if you were an animal, which one do you think you would be?

- in an ideal world I'd be a housecat, but I think I'd be a dog because I'm so loyal

granny smith apple: what is something everyone else likes that you don't?

- cake

dandelion: already answered!

atomic tangerine: what gets you motivated to do a difficult task?

- a banging playlist and a cup of coffee

wisteria: what's your favourite thing about yourself?

- my style and my moral compass

candy apple: how do you think others view you?

- I honestly don't care how others view me, so I don't pay attention to it.

plum: already answered!

sky blue: already answered!

tickle me pink: how do you try to cheer up others when they're sad?

- I ask them what I can do to help, that way they get their needs met, guaranteed

wild strawberry: do you care what others think of you?

- not even a little bit (okay maybe a little bit)

glossy grape: recommend something to your followers

- Schitt's Creek, it's a Canadian sitcom surrounding the lives of a jewish family working to rebuild their lives. If you were ever a fan of Corner Gas, this has much the same vibe.

world wide web yellow: what's the last thing you looked up?

- rcmp headingley

shadow blue: do you have a darker side to you that most people are unaware of?

- maybe? I definitely have a darker side that I hide from people, but I don't know if people are unaware of it?

electric lime: what genre of music do you listen to?

- literally all except rap/hip hop and edm, I have a soft spot for 80s classic rock, and old school acoustic country

night owl: describe a very interesting dream you have had?

- all my dreams lately have been nightmares, forgive me but I don't feel like reopening that can of worms...

cornflower: what do you think about the most?

- my recovery process and snacks

grasshopper green: describe the area that you live in

- imagine a bunch of queer, millennial, hipsters could afford to buy a house and all congregated in the same neighborhood. It looks like that, except no one living in this area is a millennial or hipster... Lots of colourful houses, lots of flowers, lots of dogs!

misty moss: already answered!

tiny toad brown: do you find beauty in something other people consider to be ugly or undesirable?

- I hope to find beauty in everything, that said some things are just plain gross

sunnyside up: do you like waking up in the mornings or would you rather sleep in?

- I like the romanticism of having coffee and reading a book in the early morning while the sun is rising and getting a headstart on my day, but getting me out of bed to actually do that is a whole other thing

kitten gray: do you have any pets? if so, describe them.

- I have a cat named Mama Cat, she's 10 years old. I got her from my aunt who couldn't take care of her anymore. She's the smallest little lady! Her favourite things to do are sit in my lap while I do schoolwork, lay in front of the heat vent in our bathroom, and sit on the windowsill in the sunroom to watch the neighbor's dog, Phoebe, in the backyard.

I have a rat named Mr. Carlos, he'll be two in February! He's a zippy little guy who really likes baby food and napping. The man snores like a garbage truck and sleeps like the dead, if he's napping you literally cannot wake him up. He really likes head rubs and to play with people's hair.

I also have a snake named Slinky, she's 5 (so still a baby), and if she has a personality I have yet to see it. She sleeps and eats, and is generally grouchy.

rose dust: describe your aesthetic in 5 words or less

- classy, trinket-hoarding, grandma

timber wolf: do you give second chances when somebody has wronged you?

- I give second, third, fourth, fifth, etc. chances. I'm working on building healthy personal boundaries

freshly squeezed: what excites you?

- new music, family get togethers, cranberries

firefly red: what gives you purpose?

- my own personal growth, my studies, my work, my family

tiny teapot tan: do you consider yourself cute/attractive?

- I am THE cutest, idk why y'all can't see it...

raindrop blue: describe the weather outside.

- the sky is grey, the snow has covered the ground, except for the places its been shoveled, it's chilly but not cold. You could wear a big sweater outside and not need a jacket.

sweet pea green: do you have/want children?

- I think I'd like one kid, but I'm not having children until the climate crisis is resolved, I think it's irresponsible to bring a kid into the world that doesn't have a chance of living past 10

pussywillow: do you like being around others or do you like being alone?

- I prefer to be alone

jack 'o' lantern orange: what's your biggest fear and why?

- I'm dead afraid of spiders, something that bony, hairy, and with that many legs makes my skin crawl

baby bunny pink: do you look young for your age or do you look older than you are?

- I look like a 12 year old boy, but I'm actually 21...

mystic maroon: what confuses you and why?

- I don't understand millionaires or billionaires. If you have more money than you could ever spend in your lifetime, why are you hoarding it like a dragon instead of using to help people around you?

cosmic cobalt: what's your zodiac sign? do you think it's accurate?

- I'm a Gemini, Libra moon, Libra rising, and Gemini sun; it's 100% accurate

petal pink: describe your fashion sense as well as what you're wearing right now.

- my style goes from chaotic gay twink to little old man to punk rock teenager and everywhere in between, there is no sense to what I wear, really. I'm presently sporting mom jeans with a big belt, a low cut black button up short sleeve, and a knit sweater with a LOUD pattern.

mountain meadow: do you like taking care of others or do you prefer being cared for?

- I like to take care of others, helping people makes me feel warm and fuzzy inside.

fuzzy duckling yellow: is there something from childhood that you haven't outgrown?

- the muppets, they're a timeless treasure and I won't ever "grow out" of them

brussel sproutlet: do you have any unhealthy habits?

- several... I have a nasty nicotine addiction, I give too much of myself and have no personal boundaries, and I lose myself in other people. I'm working on it...

razzle dazzle rose: describe an ideal date

- if it's winter, going to a small coffee shop to drink and chat, or going to see the Christmas lights. If it's summer, going for a walk through a park or the forest, and holding hands the whole time!

periwinkle: what's something ordinary that has special meaning to you?

- I have a little brown teapot that is my prized possession; my grandpa gave it to me because he had a matching one, so that no matter who's house we were at we could have tea together after dinner. It's the teapot that started my collection.

mauvelous: do you think you deserve a better life than what you have right now?

- I have a really good life, I have dreams of what my future looks like, but I think it's important to do the work to build that future for myself. I don't think I deserve a better life, but that's not to say I don't deserve nice things, it's just that I already have nice things and people to share it with!

blueberry blue: do you get sad easily?

- I feed off of others' emotions very easily, so I do feel other people's sadness, but I'd say for the most part I'm usually quite happy.

purple mountains majesty: how does someone earn your respect?

- people have my respect right off the hop tbh, just because we're not pals doesn't mean you're undeserving of my respect. Earning my trust is a completely different thing, if you want that you've got to be honest and authentic with me, and respect me as well. A lot of give and take.