#and keep a mask up if you don’t feel great mentally (which he says he doesn’t nowadays) | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

standfucker · 9 months

Text

Engravings

inspired by the following comment on my last SH fic:

Couldn't stop thinking about it, which eventually led to this.

Characters: Sanji

Reader: GN, they/them

Word Count: 6.2k

CW: Hurt/Comfort, SH, SH scars, auditory hallucinations, PTSD, mental institution-related trauma. No shipping, ace-friendly

Summary: It’s Sanji. You’re immediately, wholeheartedly certain. It’s Sanji, and he knows.

AO3 Link

"I’m listening to everything / please, tell me everything"

Nothing’s happened.

The sea is calm, the sun is shining, and the breeze is strong. All in all, a great day for sailing.

Nothing’s happened…

No recent squabbles among the crew, no surprises from sea beasts, no battles with pirates or Marines.

There’s no reason to feel the way you do. No trigger or logic to it. But you feel it anyway.

It’s like there’s an invisible filter over everything. Nothing looks different. Things sound different, though. The sounds of the waves and wind, the snapping of sailcloth and rope, the din of the crew’s voices. All of it wavers, like someone has their hand on a universal volume dial, yanking it back and forth at random. Sometimes the sounds are piercingly loud, like they’re right next to your ears, making you resist the urge to cover them. Sometimes the sounds blend into the background of everything else in a low, dull hum–so distorted that you have to focus to parse what’s being said to you.

The sound issue is your second tip-off that you’re having that kind of day. The first is the sense that the Sunny feels too small. And, crushingly, overwhelmingly, it feels like your fault. Irrational, but you can’t shake it. Really, it’s stupid: On the outside, it just looks like you’re hanging out next to your crewmates, making idle conversation. Inwardly, there’s such a deep feeling of guilt for just being there that you’re ready to throw yourself overboard.

You try to cope. You really do. You make an effort, mentally talking yourself through it.

I am allowed to take up space. I am allowed to exist.

You want to cry. You want to get down on your knees and beg for forgiveness. It doesn’t make sense, and there’s no cause you can identify. You feel like you’re going to throw up.

No one notices. How could they? Your mask is calm smiles and practiced eye contact, formed with easy jokes and interest in what the others say. Your mask is years in the making, thick with each layer you’ve added to seal in the cracks. It’s heavy and ugly, but it keeps you safe.

I am allowed to exist.

There’s no danger. You can’t explain why your fight-or-flight response is going off. There’s something wrong with you, and no one can see it because the problem is deep in the wiring. You can’t even see it. But you can feel it, and it feels so god-awful you don’t know how to endure it.

You feel yourself shaking from head to toe, so much so that it’s hard to keep your balance. But when you look down, your body is completely still. The noise around you blends together and buzzes like static, harsh on your ears. Then it gets louder.

I am allowed to exist.

You want to crawl in a hole and hide.

I am…

You excuse yourself–casually, collectedly–and head for the ship’s interior. You know what you’re going to do before you even start moving, like the decision’s already been made for you. A certainty that settles in your system, something to hold onto. The background noise grows even louder.

You stumble into the bathroom. As soon as you shut the door, all sound cuts out.

You can’t hear anything. Not even the sea, nor the creaking wood of the ship. The room shifts, draws away from you until you have tunnel vision. Your vision warps, then focuses on the cabinet above the sink until you can see nothing else. Just like before.

It’s been a few weeks since the last time.

The background noise slowly picks up, but it’s distant, like you’re hearing it coming from a different ship. You reach for the cabinet.

What are you doing?

You open the cabinet. It’s organized so each crewmate’s stuff is clustered together, with the common items at the bottom. Your gaze passes over your deodorant, your nail clippers, your toothbrush, and settles on your straight razor.

Aren’t you too old for this?

You take your razor. From the common items, you take a bottle of alcohol. You fold up some tissue paper.

What would the crew think?

It’s hard to ignore the thoughts. But like any bully, they usually go away if you don’t give them energy. Usually.

The razor’s weight in your hand is comforting. It shouldn’t be, but it is. You unfold it, wipe down the blade with some alcohol. Then you lift up your sleeve and slide it over your shoulder.

This stretch of sea has been balmy. With the pleasant weather, you’ve worn a t-shirt, the short sleeves going just less than halfway down your arm. Underneath them, high up on your shoulder, are the scars. Faint and healed, a few shades lighter than your skin tone. Noticeable in the light, but that’s why you don’t participate in the group baths.

The background noise gets louder again. You think you hear shouting, faintly, but that’s normal for the crew. It barely registers over your heartbeat.

Your heart is beating harder than before, dull thumps in your chest that seem to echo. Anticipating, ready.

Everything is going to be okay.

Finally. Finally. A hurt you can make sense of. Small, controlled. Yours.

There’s supposed to be a rush, you’ve heard. You don’t feel one. But there is a difference. The tunnel vision stops, the filter lifts. The world snaps back into place, the sound goes back to normal.

That’s when you really notice the shouting, no longer muffled by brain static. Something’s off. You focus. It doesn’t sound argumentative, like Zoro and Sanji. Nor is it playful, like Luffy or Franky’s might be. It’s startled and panicky, immediately grabbing your attention and making your adrenaline surge.

A second later, you hear an echoing BOOM, followed by an ear-splitting crunching of wood. It’s a sound you recognize, one you’ve heard before–a cannonball tearing into the ship.

You’re under attack.

For just a moment, you stare at your equipment, caught off guard. Then you pull yourself together–take your feelings and compartmentalize them for later dealing with–and tear out of the bathroom, dropping the tissue in the process. Your pistols are in their case, in the sleeping quarters. You need to get to them before you can join the fight…

The enemy pirates are strong–for a New World crew. Unfortunately for them, they’re completely outclassed by Luffy alone, much less the combined strength of the Straw Hats. Still, the numbers favor the enemy, and the battle is tiring enough to be distracting. Enough so that you forgot about what you were doing before it started. It’s only an hour into helping Franky patch up the ship, when you feel your shirt sleeve catch on your scabs, that you remember.

Then you realize you left your equipment out in the bathroom.

The razor. The alcohol. The bloody tissue paper.

Panic floods your system. You drop your tools and jump up as if electrocuted, all but flying to the bathroom. Has anyone used it since the fight?

Please no, please please please be wrong.

You kick the door open. It bangs harshly against the wall.

The equipment is gone. Your stomach sinks.

No no no no no.

You open the cabinet. Everything’s been returned to its place. Your straight razor has been folded and put away, as has the alcohol. The used tissue paper is gone. Not in the trash, either. Whoever it was must have discarded it in the toilet.

No no no no no!

Who?

Who was it? You run through the possibilities in your head. Zoro? No, he wouldn’t clean up after someone else’s mess. Neither would Nami. At least, not for free. And what about the rest of the crew?

Whoever it was, would they even know what they saw? Surely they’d just think you cut yourself shaving. That was the only explanation, right? Even if the patterns on the tissue paper were distinct, the stains shaped into blurry, beaded lines–unless they had done it before, there’s no way they’d know. Right?

This time, when you shiver, it’s for real, not just a figment of your imagination. What would happen if you were found out? At best you’d be kicked out of the crew. At worst…

I’ll get locked up again.

You feel ill. Dizzy and nauseated with the prospect. You try not to spiral, try to get a grip before panic can take hold. The best you can do is to close the door behind you, sit on the floor, and take deep breaths.

You’re not sure how long you’re there–minutes, hours–but you don’t get up until someone knocks on the door.

“You almost done?” Usopp calls from the other side.

Swallowing hard, you find your voice. “Yeah. Just a sec.”

Usopp doesn’t so much as give you a second glance when you pass him. It’s not him.

You’re hypervigilant the rest of the day, scrutinizing every action, every word from your crewmates. Nothing seems different, but that only makes you more paranoid.

Nami offers you a tangerine. The simple action sets off a cascade of racing thoughts: Is she trying to make you feel better? Because she knows? Did she tell anyone? Did she tell Chopper? Luffy?

Every interaction is like that–an innocuous action that makes you flip out internally.

Franky gives you a gift: A cute little wind-up frog toy, made from scrap metal. He says it's to thank you for helping with repairs. You scan his face, but he’s only grinning proudly. Not Franky, either.

Zoro invites you to drink with him. Brook plays a song you like. Robin hands you a book she’s just finished, saying it might suit your tastes. Nothing unusual, but enough to make you second guess everything. Each time, you cling to your mask, holding it so tightly to your face that you can barely breathe.

The next day, Sanji cooks your favorite meal for dinner. That wouldn’t be too weird, except you know for a fact that your favorite involves pricy ingredients that he prefers to save. You know this because he mentioned it, years ago, when he was teaching you how to make the dish.

You and Sanji had joined the Straw Hats at the same time. Two weeks before Luffy had shown up, you had tried and failed to dine-and-dash from Baratie. Zeff forced you to work to pay it off, plus an extra week to “teach you a lesson.” That was when you got to know Sanji. Unlike the rest of the chefs, he wasn’t mad at you for what you did. He even taught you some of the basics of cooking. As the only soft presence on the floating restaurant, you grew attached, and that feeling of reliance never really left since then. You were drawn to his air of confidence and self-assuredness, but mostly to the fact that he never hid who he was, even when who he was could be straight-up idiotic at times. But you still respected that about him.

You always liked to hang out around the cook, helping him prepare meals with what you learned at Baratie. You both fought well together, having each others’ backs in battle despite your different fighting styles. It was safe to say that he was your favorite crewmate, and though you weren’t sure what he thought of you, you viewed him as your closest friend.

So you really, really don’t want it to be Sanji.

You appraise his expression, his movement, his actions. It all seems normal, on the surface. And yet, it feels off somehow, but you can’t tell if that’s just the paranoia speaking.

“How is it?” Sanji inquires.

You stare for a second. It’s not a question he usually asks–he knows it’s your favorite and he knows you think it’s amazing. Maybe it’s just your imagination, but the smile doesn’t seem to reach his eyes.

“Delicious, as always,” you say. Your own smile lights up your face, the way you’ve carefully practiced. “What’s the occasion?”

He pauses, rubs the back of his neck. “No reason, really. I just thought that it’s been a while since we’ve had it.”

That evening, you’re alone at the port side of the ship, leaning against the railing and looking out at the night sea. Sometimes it helps with your racing thoughts. This time, it does nothing. Nothing keeps you from fixating on the situation. You feel like you’re hanging by a thread, like at any moment you’ll get kicked off the crew, and then your whole world will unravel. And it’s entirely your fault.

The questions won’t stop repeating themselves: Who was it? Did they know?

Behind you, someone clears their throat. You whirl around a bit too quickly and steady yourself with a hand on the railing. Sanji’s standing there with his hands in his pockets. Something about his posture sets alarm bells off in your head. He’s too stiff, trying too hard to appear composed.

“Hey, Y/n,” Sanji says gently, “can I talk to you about something?”

It’s Sanji.

You’re immediately, wholeheartedly certain. It’s Sanji, and he knows.

You gape at him for a moment, then collect yourself. The mask comes back on.

“Actually, I’m pretty tired. Gonna turn in for the night. Tomorrow, okay?” you dismiss, and go to walk past him.

“Wait a second, Y/n,” he reaches to grab your wrist, but you yank it away before he can.

“Don’t!” you snap, stepping back, then quickly correct yourself. “I mean–don’t surprise me like that! We’ll talk tomorrow. I really should sleep...”

Sanji frowns, hand slowly lowering, and you make a hasty retreat.

The rest of the week is torture. You’re constantly avoiding Sanji wherever possible. He doesn’t strike up conversation when the others are around, which only makes you more certain that he knows. You ensure that you’re never alone with him, and if he does approach you by himself, you make yourself scarce. It becomes harder and harder to hide that you’re avoiding him. The crew takes notice–it’s not difficult considering you and Sanji are normally close.

Zoro’s the first to say something.

“Oi, Y/n. Did you have a fight with the cook or something?” he asks bluntly.

“No, we didn’t,” you reply.

Zoro’s eyes narrow slightly. “Well, you’re both acting weird.”

Some of the others are looking your way, now. Anxiety sours your stomach. You hold your mask steady as he continues.

“You’ve been kind of flighty lately. And he’s oddly subdued,” Zoro says, “I can’t believe I’m saying this, since he’s finally quiet for once, but it’s annoying. Would you just talk to him?”

“Uh…yeah, sure thing.”

Obviously, you don’t talk to Sanji. You keep evading him at every turn, only growing more distressed with each passing day. You know you can’t dodge the issue forever, but the moment you stop is the moment you’ll get kicked off the crew or worse, and that thought makes you want to die.

But the Sunny is only so large, and eventually, Sanji manages to corner you one night at the bow of the ship. You have your back to the figurehead, throat dry as you face him. Brook is up in the crow’s nest, keeping watch. Everyone else is asleep. It’s just you two, and you know you’ve run out of luck.

“We need to talk, Y/n,” Sanji says firmly.

Your throat goes dry. “Now?”

“Right now. No more running,” he says, taking a few steps closer. “I need to ask you something, and I need you to answer honestly.”

There’s no getting out of it anymore. “...Alright.” you say. Your heart pounds harder, palms growing damp.

Sanji takes a long drag off his cigarette, then stubs it out–that’s when your adrenaline really spikes, when you know you’re in for it. He looks you in the eye.

“Should you have access to firearms?”

The question hits you like a brick, stunning you into wide-eyed silence. You open your mouth, then close it, unable to respond for a second.

“...What are you talking about?” you try.

“Given how you’ve been avoiding me,” he says coolly, “I think you know exactly what I’m talking about.”

“I’m–I’m not following.”

“Don’t play dumb with me, Y/n!” he snaps, and you cringe. “Of everything you’re hiding, this is the one thing I’m going to find out. I’m not asking. You’re going to tell me or I’m going to tell Chopper. So answer me, right now: Are you safe around guns?”

You can’t take another step back, but you instinctively try anyway, your heel scraping the wood of the ship. But there’s nothing you can do. The mask crumbles, years and years of desperate crafting turning to dust in an instant.

“God, Sanji,” you respond, “what am I supposed to say to that?”

“The truth,” he says.

“And if you didn’t like my answer, what would you do? Take them away from me?”

“Yes.” His tone is unyielding, his eyes hard.

Yours start to sting at the corners. “And what after that? You’ll have me–” you bite your tongue to keep the tears from forming, “–you’ll have me kicked off the crew?”

“I never said that,” he says stiffly, “you don’t get it–”

“You don’t get it!” you bite back, voice rising. You lower it before continuing, “you don’t know anything.”

“I know you’re cutting.”

You flinch. The words sting. It’s not a pleasant sting this time. You turn your head, unable to look him in the eye.

“It’s just…” Sanji says, and there’s a touch of hurt in his voice, “after everything we’ve been through, I thought you trusted me.”

“I do,” you say automatically.

“You have a funny way of showing it.”

That stings even deeper. You shake your head. “I do, Sanji, but this is different.”

“Why?”

“It’s none of your business!” you bite. Bile rises in your throat at your venom; you hate being callous.

“My friend’s hurting themselves,” Sanji replies thinly, “that makes it my business.”

“That isn’t how this works!” you argue. “You don’t get to know everything about me just because you don’t like this!”

“Don’t I?”

“No!”

“You don’t feel safe with me.”

That one’s like a punch to the gut. You can’t tell what’s worse, the words themselves or the way he’s looking at you. That one hurts the most, because it’s true.

“...No,” you say after a moment, then steel yourself. “You’re right. I don’t. I can’t.”

“Why?”

“Sanji, please.”

“Don’t you plead now,” Sanji says, his tone hardening. “Don’t you put me in this position, Y/n.”

“I don’t have a choice, Sanji. I can’t. I just can’t.”

“Why?”

“Sanji!”

“Why?!”

“Because last time I trusted someone with this, I lost everything!” you blurt out. “I was institutionalized, okay?! Locked up! Is that what you wanted to know? Are you satisfied now?”

Your words echo in the silence that follows. He stares, jaw dropped slightly. You’re shaking, for real this time, and the words pour from you like a dam unblocked.

“You don’t know how humiliating it is, Sanji, to have the strings on all your clothes cut off, to be given only felt tip pens to write with, to not have doors, to have a scheduled bed time. To have all your choices taken away.” Your vision blurs as you continue. “I couldn’t do anything. It was like a prison. The other patients didn’t give a shit. The staff definitely didn’t give a shit. And all the while, they drained me of all my savings, until I didn’t have a single berri to my name. Then they kicked me to the curb. The one who reported me didn’t want to be associated with a crazy person. Neither did the rest of my friends. I was homeless. I had no one and nothing! That’s why I fled my home island, and that’s why I tried to dine and dash at Baratie.”

Sanji looks taken aback. He blinks quickly, then stares down at the deck. “What would you have me do, then?”

“This is supposed to be private!” You cover your face, fighting back tears. “You need–you need to keep your mouth shut and mind your business! I don't want anyone’s ‘support.’ You were never supposed to know.” You take a shaky breath and lower your hands. “If you really care, you’ll keep it to yourself, you’ll forget what you saw, and if you tell anyone…I won’t stick around to make the same mistake twice.”

Despite what you say, you already know it’s too late. There’s no going back, and now that he knows, it’s only a matter of time until you’re left behind. You bite your tongue to keep from crying at the thought, but you have to bite harder this time. The tears keep threatening to spill anyway, until you’re tasting iron.

Sanji is quiet. He pulls out his cigarettes and lights one, not speaking until after he takes a drag. “…Do you regret joining the crew?”

“Joining the Straw Hats was the best thing that’s ever happened to me,” you say honestly. “I’m the happiest I’ve ever been.”

“But you aren’t happy, are you?”

“Multiply something by zero and you get zero, right?” You look away, guilt eating at you. Experience tells you that no one wants to hear this. “I’m not trying to sound dramatic. I just… I don’t work right.”

“I don’t think you’re being dramatic.”

For some reason, that, more than anything else, breaks you. The first tears slip past your defense. You say nothing, lower lip trembling.

Sanji takes another slow drag of his cig and exhales away from your direction. “I don’t know how I missed it.”

“I do,” you say. “At the hospital, they…” the words die in your throat as the memories surge forward. “They…they…” You can’t finish, but tears begin streaming down your cheeks. You shake your head. “Let’s just say, after that, I learned not to ever give anything away. Never again.”

“They did something to you.”

You barely nod. Already you feel yourself slipping into a flashback, feel the nurses holding you down and the needle jabbing into your flesh.

“I’m sorry,” Sanji says, taking a step toward you, and then another, until he can reach out and gently touch your forearm. The touch brings you back, grounding you so that you’re back in the present. But the gentle action, and Sanji’s soft expression, only makes the tears flow faster, makes your nose run. You shrug.

“It must have been scary.”

Slowly, you nod again.

“Will you answer my question, Y/n? Please?” Sanji asks. “Please, I need to know you’re safe around guns. Will you at least tell me that much?”

You swallow the lump in your throat and wipe your face. When you answer, you look him in the eye so he knows you’re telling the truth. “Yeah. I’m… Yeah.”

Sanji sighs, his shoulders sagging with relief. “Thank goodness. Okay. Can I ask you something else?” At your nod, he goes on. “How long have you been feeling like this? Before the hospital, I mean.”

“...Since I was young,” you sniff. “I’ve been ‘coping’ on and off for years.”

Sanji sticks his hands in his pockets. “Okay. Can I see?”

“What?” The question catches you so off-guard that you stop crying. “I’m–I’m sorry?”

“You’re not going to show Chopper, right?” Sanji says. “So–”

“You’re not gonna tell him?” you cut him off, surprised.

“I haven't decided yet,” he admits. “I don’t want to go against your wishes, Y/n. But I don’t know the extent of the damage. Just… Just, let me see?”

“No.” You’re shocked at his audacity. What’s he thinking? Of course you can’t do that.

“I won’t judge. I swear, I just want to know you’re okay,” Sanji says.

“You can say that, but…” you rub your arm. “Be real. You’ll never look at me the same way again.”

“It won’t change how I think of you.”

“It will!” you shout, then lower your voice. “It will, forever. There’s no going back once that line is crossed and you see me for what I really am.”

He frowns. “Which is?”

“A freak!”

Neither of you say anything for a moment. Then you shake your head again. “I’m sorry, Sanji. But a guy like you–strong, handsome, confident–you wouldn’t understand.”

Sanji gets a weird look on his face, one you’ve never seen in all the years you’ve sailed with him. He looks to the side, then down, then up. His drags on his cigarette become long and harsh, finishing it in three breaths. He lights another, making a face. Then he nods to himself, like he’s decided something.

“Okay,” Sanji says. “There’s something I want you to see.”

You frown. When Sanji puts his hands on the hem of his pants, you frown deeper. He pauses.

“Um. Just trust me, okay? I promise I’m not doing anything weird–just wait a sec.”

He slides down his pants, and you have no idea what’s going through his head until his pale upper thighs are exposed. Then, finally, you understand, and you cover your mouth in shock.

Both of his upper thighs are covered in a myriad of scars. There must be over a hundred, clustered just above where shorts would hide them. Most of them are big, inches long and criss-crossed with each other. A few are keloid scars, thick and raised above the skin.

Your stare could burn a hole through his flesh. Slowly, you look up at him. Sanji has a faint blush on his face, looking sheepish.

“Guys like me can be freaks too,” he says simply.

You’re in complete disbelief. You keep looking back from the scars to his face. It’s too much to process–where would you even begin? Sanji, of everyone on the crew–Sanji’s like you? Brave, unwavering, gallant Sanji? Of everyone? When you don’t respond, he speaks again.

“See, Y/n? You’re not alone.”

Tears sting the corners of your eyes again. You find your voice. “Yours are old.”

“Yeah. I got lucky. Had someone’s support.” Sanji smiles slightly, in a way that he only does when thinking of…

“Zeff?”

“Yeah. He eventually found out.” Sanji laughs nervously. “At first he freaked out. Thought I was using kitchen knives. After he calmed down, he told me…he told me he wouldn’t abandon me over that, because what kind of parent would that make him?” His expression wavers like he’s trying not to cry.

You, on the other hand, start crying again the moment you hear the word “abandoned.” You realize that’s precisely how you felt back then.

Sanji grabs your shoulders so you look up at him. “You’re not getting kicked off of the crew.”

“...I’m not?” you ask, voice small and pathetic.

“No. I promise.” Sanji squeezes your shoulders reassuringly. “No one else needs to know. But, Y/n, I’m not going to leave you to deal with this alone. So, will you show me?”

“...You won’t tell anyone?”

“I won’t. I swear on my honor. This stays between us.” He lowers his arms.

You bite your lip, sniffing. You shut your eyes, mustering up your courage, and nod. Sanji waits patiently as you breathe slowly to steady yourself. You hesitate before peeling back your sleeve, exposing your upper arm.

He’s quiet as he inspects the damage. Unlike his old scars, yours have yet to finish healing, still in the scabbing stage. A ladder of thin, dark red lines decorate your upper arm and shoulder. You look between your cuts and his scars. Yours aren’t as deep as what Sanji had done, which you feel weirdly ashamed about.

Sanji’s hand comes up, hovering over your cuts like he’s going to touch them, but then he rests it on your forearm instead. Despite the clear evidence that he won’t judge you, you’re still self-conscious, so you break the silence.

“The scabs catch on my sleeves,” you say awkwardly.

Sanji nods. “I had to bandage my thigh so it wouldn’t bleed through while I was working. It always felt so…”

“Stupid,” you both say. Then you both smile at the unexpected camaraderie.

“What’s really stupid is how long I went thinking I was the only one,” you say, “and all this time, you…” You gesture vaguely.

“Can you do something for me?” Sanji asks. “Whatever you’re using–I’m not going to take anything from you. But in exchange, I want you to talk to me. We can talk in the galley, when it’s just us two.”

“I don’t know how to talk about it.”

How could you, after what had been done to you? After everyone you used to trust turned their backs? Knowing that Sanji understood you couldn’t fix the mental scars left behind by others. You could try to rationalize it, but just thinking about discussing the past made your throat dry up.

“If I told you about mine first, would it make you more comfortable?” Sanji offers.

You balk. “You–you don’t have to do that.”

“I don’t mind, if it means helping you.” Sanji says earnestly. “You can tell me anything. I won’t judge. How could I? We’re the same.”

Something broken inside you changes right then. Deep engravings fill with gold like broken pottery, sealing some of the cracks in your soul. Unmasked and exposed, Sanji sees into you, and he doesn’t waver or turn. He smiles, gently and softly and lovingly. Your eyes fill with fresh tears.

Sanji holds out his pinky finger. “Freaks?”

You smile from ear to ear, even as the tears start flowing again, and lock pinkies with him. “Freaks.”

So caught up in the moment are the two of you that neither one notices when Zoro appears until it’s too late.

He’s further down the deck, but standing right under one of the ship’s lights, so you can see him smile. “Hey, you guys are–” he starts, then notices Sanji’s pants. His smile instantly turns to a look of indignation, then rage. “What the hell?!”

Sanji scrambles to pull up his pants as Zoro charges.

“What the hell are you doing to Y/n, you creep?!” Zoro yells.

You hurriedly pull down your sleeve and move in front of Sanji, holding your arms up. “Wait a sec, Zoro!”

“I-It’s not what it looks like!” Sanji cries.

Zoro screeches to a halt right in front of you, but then stretches over your shoulder to snarl at Sanji. “You better have a good explanation for this, shitty cook!”

You grab Zoro’s arms to hold him back. Not that you could ever hope to overpower him, but you know he’s too brotherly toward you to push you out of the way. “Zoro!”

“What?” Zoro turns his focus on you, “what did he do? I’ll kick his ass for you, Y/n.”

“No, that’s–”

Sanji interjects, “I didn’t–”

“We were…”

Zoro relaxes somewhat, now frowning and looking at both of you weirdly. “What exactly were you guys doing?”

Really, being in the middle of the night, it’s not a good look. You and Sanji are both caught off guard. Fumbling hard, you both speak at once.

“I was looking at a fungal infection!” you say.

“They were removing a tick!” Sanji says at the same time.

Both of you glance at each other.

“Tick,” you correct.

“Fungal,” Sanji says.

Zoro blinks. “A fungal tick?”

You both just nod.

Zoro stares between you two, then relaxes. “Oh... Okay. Good of you to not wake Chopper.” He nods and turns, leaving the two of you to it.

So flooded with relief are you that it’s staggering. You mentally thank the stars that Zoro is a simple and straightforward type of guy.

You and Sanji watch Zoro walk away. Once he’s out of earshot, you both look at each other.

Then you both burst out laughing.

“Oh my god,” you breathe, clutching your chest.

Sanji wipes away a tear. “That was close, huh?”

The laughter dies down into giggles before you calm yourselves, grinning at each other. Then you’re both throwing your arms around the other in a tight embrace, squeezing like you’ve never been hugged before in your lives. You bury your face in Sanji’s chest, he rests his head on yours. Your fingers dig into the other’s clothing, soaking in the warmth and the comfort that you could only get from someone who truly understood. You stay like that for a few minutes, quiet, close, and held.

“Are you sure?” you whisper after a minute. “That you want to deal with this? With me? What if I never get better?”

“Nothing’s set in stone but the poneglyphs,” Sanji replies, running a hand over your head so you look up at him. “Our future hasn’t been determined.”

“Our future?”

“You and me and the rest of the crew. There’s still time to grow, and to change.” He holds the back of your head tenderly.

“When does that time run out?” you ask, uncertain.

“It doesn’t.” Sanji smiles down at you. “As long as we’re alive, there’s another chance. That opportunity is always there.”

You smile back, then press your face into his chest again. Sanji squeezes you tighter.

“Tomorrow,” you mumble into his shirt. “Let’s talk tomorrow. I’m tired.”

“I bet.”

“I never want to hide from you again.”

You feel Sanji kiss the top of your head. “And I never want to make you cry again.”

“I want to tell you everything.”

“I’ll listen.”

You both stay like that for a while longer, each second spent there healing something within yourselves.

It will take weeks to figure out how to talk about your troubles. When you’re up for it, you talk in the galley as Sanji cooks, you helping him out as usual with prep and cleanup. It’s even longer before Sanji learns everything. In the interim, you become the only Straw Hat to learn of Sanji’s past before he ever gets a wedding invite.

Like worn muscles rebuilding, like bone regrowing stronger, the scars you’ve revealed to each other, both physical and mental, strengthen your bond more than anything else ever could.

"let it out, let me in, take a hold of my hand / there's nothing like another soul that's been cut up the same" -Handwritten, The Gaslight Anthem

#one piece x reader #sanji x reader #reader insert #one piece imagines #zen writes

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rabbittf2x · 1 year

Note

mercs with S/O with sensory issues?

Mercs with a Reader that has sensory issues

Pyro💖

Pyro was very understanding and thoughtful when it came to your sensory issues. Whenever you had trouble with certain lights or sounds, he liked to lend you his spare gas mask. You couldn’t hear or see as clearly in it, which helped you calm down. You could also join him in Pyroland with it on! Pyro’s favourite thing to do was skip around with you there

But if he didn’t have an extra mask on him and you were feeling overstimulated, Pyro covered your eyes or ears with his hands. He got pretty protective over you, pulling you close and hiding you in his chest if you let him

Being snuggled up close to Pyro’s suit was super comforting. When things got bad, he loved nothing more but to let you cuddle up into him and rest your senses. The loveable little firebug would even hum you a song

Engineer💖

If you had sensory issues with loud noises, Engie tried to pipe it down when you were around. Because he liked it when you came to visit him in his workshop, and didn’t want to scare you away. So when you spent time with him while working, he steered clear of anything with loud bangs or zaps

Similar to Pyro, if you had trouble with any bright lights, he lent you his goggles to wear. They only dimmed the lighting down a tad, but it was the thought that counted. Engie also thought you looked so cute in them!

When with you, Engineer was always on the look out for anything that might trigger you. He was very protective over you, and it ripped him up to see you overstimulated

Spy💖

Spy understood your sensory issues. I mean, it was pretty easy to overstimulate while living with Team Fortress. He let you come hide away with him in his smoking room. It was the perfect place to relax if you had a sensory overload

You sat next to Spy by the fire, finally feeling some inner peace again. He was sipping on some scotch while passively flipping through a magazine. He was purposely trying to be quiet so you could cool off. You knew this and loved him for it

“Thank you, Spy… you’re a pretty great guy.”

Spy was kicking himself for it, but felt an unreasonably large amount of pride hearing you say that. Like he’d let you know that though

“De rien.” Spy muttered passively, not looking up from his magazine (he was giggling on the inside)

Heavy💖

You did not need to worry. Heavy would keep you safe. If he could, he’d crush every stupid little thing that gave you sensory issues to dust. Please tell him one of those stupid things was Scout. He’d love to crush Scout

You were lucky to be around Heavy most of the time. Because it was rare that anything he did would overload you with sensory issues. Er, well… unless you knew him on the battlefield. When at war, Heavy was loud, and fired this big, mean minigun. Being around that definitely wasn’t good for your mental health

Like said before, not to worry. Heavy never acted like that around you. With you, he became the softest, most gentle teddy bear of a man. He kept you close at all times, loving to snuggle or soothe you

Heavy may of acted like a saint when cuddling up with you, but if anyone rubbed one of your senses the wrong way? Dead :)

Sniper💖

“Nah, don’t worry, mate. Come hang out with me in the van!”

You could’ve considered yourself lucky that Sniper invited you into his camper… um, I think? It wasn’t like he ever let anyone else in there

Sniper felt for you. He didn’t like seeing you overwhelmed with sensory issues. It made him sad. :( so he often stole you away to come chill in his van. He kept the lights down low, as to not hurt your eyes. And he even offered you some coffee or a beer

Sniper kept stealing glances of you from across the camper, quietly taking in the subtleties of your beauty. He wanted to sit in this warm, comfortable silence with you forever. Little did he know, you felt the same way

“Thank you for letting me come in here, Mr Mundy. I really appreciate it.” You said softly

Sniper had to stifle the wobbly smile that tried to force its way onto his face

“No—no worries, darl.”

Scout💖

Scout finally learned how to keep his big mouth shut. It really hurt him the first time you flinched or shied away from him because he was being too loud. He felt so bad that he made you feel that way. Later, Scout caught up to you and set his hands on either of your shoulders

“I’m so sorry. I promise—I swear, I’ll talk less… loudly. I didn’t mean to scare ya like that.” He rambled

Your shoulders shook under his hands as you chuckled softly. “You’re so sweet, Scout. Thank you, but it’s okay.” You smiled

Scout was about to protest, to say he didn’t want to overstimulate you in any way… but you cut him off with a small peck to his cheek, making him blush deeply

“I like you just the way you are.”

Soldier💖

“WHAT DO YOU MEAN I’M TALKING TOO LOUD?”

It took Soldier awhile to understand your sensory issues. He didn’t get at all that him yelling right in your ear was making you feel bad. Some of the other mercs may of needed to explain it better to him

Once Soldier finally realised what his constant yelling at you was doing to your mental health, he was very sorry. He didn’t mean it in a malicious way at all. In fact, quite the opposite! It was one of his ways of showing you affection, believe it or not

Soldier now resorted to more… conventional ways of expressing his love for you. Instead of shouting or firing weapons near you 24/7, he tried being quiet! :0 to show how sorry he was for causing you grief, he hugged you a lot more. He also made a good habit of whispering sweet nothings in your ear

Demoman💖

Demoman felt a little useless when he first found out about your sensory issues. He didn’t know how to help you. He usually just tried to make you laugh, which wasn’t hard. Especially when he was shit faced

If certain lights or bright screens were hurting your eyes, Demo just yanked the eyepatch right off his face and gave it to you. He covered one of your eyes with it, then shielded the other with his hand drunkenly

“Is that better?” He slurred

You couldn’t help but find his hasty attempt at soothing you cute. “Yes, Demo.” You laughed. “Yes, thank you. That helps.”

Spending drunken nights with Demo were a great way to steer clear from all things triggering to your senses. After a certain few drinks, he grew quiet and sleepy; the perfect cuddle buddy. Demoman loved to snuggle up close to you in your bed

Medic💖

Medic came up with many experiments and concoctions to improve your sensory issues. Don’t take it the wrong way. He was only trying to help! (I wouldn’t take anything he actually gave you though)

Medic got super cranky with the other mercs if they accidentally gave you a sensory overload. Whether it be by their loudness, weapons or unnecessary explosions, there was always something going on that was gonna shake you up

Medic hated seeing you all upset over loud noises or bright lights. It killed him to know there wasn’t anything long term he could do to help you

“Medic, stop it.” You shook your head with a smile. You wrapped your arms around the doctor in a warm hug, nuzzling into his chest. “You don’t need to worry about me. I’m fine! Everything’s all good.” You reassured

Medic pouted, throwing his own arms around you a moment later. “I know, dove. I just…” he sighed

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urlocalnonbinarybastardwrites · 29 days

Note

Helloo <3 I’d like to make a fandom ship request! Heathers, Texas Chainsaw Massacre and/or the DC universe would be wonderful :D

My name is Jupiter, my pronouns are they/she, and I’m a heavily female-presenting nonbinary sapphic! I’m 5 feet and 8 inches tall, but I usually wear heels and platforms that make me a lot taller. I’m of mixed descent (African-Japanese) and brown-skinned with lots of freckles and moles. My hair is 4C, and I always style my Afro to have bear ears!! I think it’s really cute to do, so my head always has two little puffs at the top. My style is mostly coquette since I’m a coquette girly, but I’m also open to pastel goth, Yume Kawaii, and Decora Kei 💖💖

Personality wise, my friends say I’m pretty much the mom of the group lol. I like checking in on my friends whenever I can, and I always make sure to bring around snacks with me in case someone (including myself) gets hungry. I like to think I’m great with kids, and I’ve actually babysitter a couple who have called me Mama! Almost collapsed to the floor in cuteness-aggression fueled tears, but I think that’s a pretty normal reaction :}} Besides all of that, I’m generally a bubbly person and I don’t care about social norms all that much. Maybe it’s cuz I’m autistic, but I don’t care if people think it’s strictly romantic to kiss someone - I kiss my friends all the time and I love showing them affection, especially since some of them really need it

As for my hobbies, I love love LOVE crocheting! My mom actually taught me how to make my own bags and purses, and I’ve sold a few when I was younger. Arts and crafts is a huge passion for me - whether it’s painting, sketching, digital drawing, whatever!! I enjoy it all, and I make free commissions for my friends too. I also like to cook and bake, which are two skills I’ve been learning since I was 11. And when I’m not making art or cooking, I also love a good ol’ self care routine! Face masks, bubble baths, pedicures, the whole shebang. I’ve struggled with my mental health a lot over the years, so spoiling myself is something I’m trying to do a lot more now that school is almost over

Fun fact about me; I’m not southern, but my family always says I act like it. I say “y’all” constantly and I tend to call people things like sugar, sweetheart, baby, honey, etc.

Aaaand that’s it! Would love to see who you pick for me. Have the most wonderful day, sweets<3

Your Fandom Ships: Sissy Slaughter (Texas Chainsaw Massacre) and Selina Kyle (Aka Catwoman, DCU)

Explanation: first things first I think that she thinks you’re insanely hot like she doesn’t see anyone anyone like you around I mean from your height which you’re already tall but when you wear those heels whoa what makes her jelly… I mean usually her brother gets all the pretty victims, but she definitely thinks that she’s going to keep you for herself. she thinks you’re adorable and she loves your hyper femininity. She is obsessed with you (literally)… and your style. It almost makes you seem more innocent and cute and she absolutely has a corruption kink. she thinks that it’s adorable that you’re the mom of the friend group and absolutely supports it because she’s often the one that has to take care of her family so she absolutely forgets it because she’s the only one who knows how to do things like sewing around her family, and, she thinks that your attractive whenever you take up the leading role in your friend group. She also doesn’t really take notice to a lot of social norms because she’s been in and out of a lot of cults in her life and things like that and also you know she’s a serial killer but she’s just kind of loopy and I don’t feel like she pays much attention to what other people think so she gets that and I think that she’s also very good with your autism like she would absolutely understand if you ever got overstimulated or if he didn’t like certain textures or anything like that she would be on it and she would be the most caring out of the family about things like that. But I don’t think she cares about and she was definitely in a lot of cults where it was very casual to be sexual and things like that so I don’t feel like she sees kissing as an entirely sexual thing either she sees it is more of a friendly thing too. She loves that you can crochet and I feel like if you ever made her a purse or a bag or anything like that she would wear it in such pride and she would never take it off and if anyone made fun of it, they would for sure get their throat slip, but she just loves everything you make and thinks that it’s really adorable. She also is a pretty good artist I feel like and she would draw with you and draw around the house because she lives out in the country where there’s very very pretty views so I feel like she would help you draw those and draw some on her own and paint and things like that and ask for your love of skin care I feel like she would totally have a girls night with you or you guys both just do your skin care. Do it up do the whole thing and do your entire routine and I feel like she would just love that and how makes her feel and she feels like a pretty little princess, and she rarely gets pampered, she’s used to that farm girl lifestyle. Also, I can see this being really cute for you. You say that you’re not southern but act like it but sissy is legitimately southern and I think you guys calling each other sugar honey Sweetheart things like that would be absolutely adorable and I shifted this so bad because honestly, I could make like a little comic about it or something because of how much I shipped this I just like you calling each other sugar, honey, and she would definitely be obsessed and possessive of you and I don’t know just like I don’t know I ship your relationship a lot. ♥️♥️♥️♥️

Explanation: physical appearance I think that she would be absolutely in love with you. She just loves you guys have the opposite kinds of femininity like you guys are both very feminine, but in very different senses she’s more of a dark feminine and you’re more of a cute light feminine and I just think that you guys contrast so well with her kind of dark feline energy and you’re kind of more like innocent coquette type energy. I just love the clash there and I feel like she would absolutely be attracted to you and how tall you are I just like you guys both are so similar but so different and I just love that like, oh my gosh I can’t even tell you how much I love you guys and you’re aesthetics clashing together but then also looking so pleasing you guys just are so cute. She loves the way that you wear your Afro and I feel like she just finds you absolutely adorable and just loves the way that you look in general because it’s again such a contrast from her because you guys are both very feminine, but she’s more dark seductive type you know siren and you’re definitely a doe like she’s definitely a siren you’re a doe that’s a really good way to put it. She definitely needs to be checked in with because she’s the chaotic friend and her group so I feel like you guys would have the greatest dynamic ever of you like checking in with her making sure that he said she’s OK and constantly pulling her out of danger because she gets herself in a lot of situations. I just feel like you would be the one reigning her chaos back. She thinks it’s adorable that your so good with kids and it definitely got her thinking about maybe adopting a kid with you because she just loves you so much and thinks that you would be a great mom. You also treat her a lot better than the past guy she’s dated which I feel like she would really appreciate because of the way that she dresses an act she’s super used to be used as a sex toy and nothing really more so whenever you come into her life and treat her like she matters more than just for her body and you see her as a person. I just feel like it means the world to her and she finds you so precious and out of all the things that she stolen in her entire career of thievery I feel like your heart is the most valuable thing she laid her hands on. She doesn’t care that much about social norms either and I feel like she’s also definitely platonic kisser even before you guys started dating she was kissing you casually on the lips cheeks, etc. just because you know she could and she found it kind of a friendly way to do. But they got a lot more intimate as you started dating I don’t know, but I feel like she agrees with you on that. She thinks the fact that you crochet is actually adorable and even though it’s not really as much of her style as a hobby, she finds it super fascinating and is always watching you and your hands and she just thinks it’s so cool that you can do such complicated maneuvers with the string and things like that. she’s not as much of an artist herself, but she would totally support you, but I actually do think that she’s pretty good in the kitchen so I feel like you guys would have a lot fun baking together and cooking together and I feel like if you guys ever made like dinner and stuff it would actually be really good and you guys would just feast like the queen you are for the night and I feel like a really good day for you guys would be a stay at home day where you guys both just cook for each other and then afterwards and with movie and the full skin care routine because she absolutely loves skin care I mean, I cannot, say this enough, but I feel like she would also be a skincare queen and you two would have the Korean glass skin and just be such a good couple. Anyway, if it isn’t obvious enough, I totally ship you too, and I think this is maybe one of my favorite out of all these you know fandom ships I’ve done, I think this is the one that I’ve genuinely shipped or at least top 10 because this is like you guys would be so perfect together.

I mean you’re both feminine but opposite ways and I just love this. 💙💙💙

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rayven81194 · 11 months

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Trolly Problem - A Genloss Theory/Thoughts focused on Hetch

// This is kinda long, also genloss spoilers

Before I rant, I’m just saying that I feel silly and am just ranting. I saw 1 post about this and went haywire smile

Ok so i’ve been thinking about genloss, specifically, Hetch. Now I know a lot of us see him as villainous, seeing as he did manipulate Ranboo and in a way, killed them. But, as I’ve been thinking, Hetch as a character seemed a bit to simple. A villain, a killer, someone we shouldn’t trust. However, what if that in a way, he as a person was masked a bit. our view has been masked before and I don’t doubt we are free from it. So, my rant begins:

First off, titles. Hetch, apparently, was a name the Scottish used as a nickname for someone crooked. Which, with Hetchs character as we know goes, fits. But, nickname is what gets me. I could ask many questions about naming for some key characters, or a lack of naming. Examples include The Mastermind and The Founder. We are given titles that explain how they are relevant in a way. So, why wouldn’t the same go for Hetch? We know he works for The Founder, so maybe he was renamed to fit the role. The role he needed to serve.

That segway’s into my next point. A post talked about how people with masked in genloss are controllable, like the workers and Ran, as well as including Hetch. So what if Hetch is high in power, nearing The Founder, but still a puppet. Again, new point. It can be assumed that Hetch is a puppet for The Founder. But, what if that isn’t the case. Someone outside of Showfall trying to expose Showfall. But, evident by the 7-foot monster that killed multiple people, and upped security we know from Hetch telling us, simply walking in can’t happen. We know Showfall can’t stop hackers, evident by Hetch and Squiggles interactions, if you can call them that.

I’ll stop building fluff around this and just say it, I think Hetch is a puppet being used to tear down Showfall Media. However, he works there and was quite high on the job scale. The person who is puppeteering him could be doing what we did to Ranboo in the Cabin. We told Ranboo to go somewhere, but didn’t control a lot of what they did or how they did it, aside from a one worded command. Explore. Could this person controlling Hetch be doing similar things, but with Hetch being aware of Showfall control on Ranboo or just Showfall being able to control people. Or they let him keep those memories, not relevant.

I said i’d stop the fluff then added more so here’s the good part. The person puppeteering Hetch wants us to see him as villainous as well as those working with The Founder, who we assume are well aware of everything, as people who need to be torn down. Making Hetch be the only person from The Founders direct team and our only representative of them it a great idea for the goal of tearing Showfall Media down. If we assume the Founder is the Founder of Showfall. Anyways, with how we view Hetch, maybe they want us to view the rest of them to be untrustworthy. Make us take very thing they say with a grain of salt.

Ok that’s it, i’m not the best at explaining my theory but I hope it makes sense. A few more things though. If we believe that there is a separating party involved, that could make a neat ending. We have to make one final choice, which villain do we eliminate? Both could leave us with a feeling of dread. Ranboo seems to likes that. Adding on to that, Hetch could be neutral. Controlled by one side, but technically working for the other. Neat character idea. Bonus, stab wound was given to try and make him easier to control. Getting him both mentally and physically tired.

Also, I think you can somewhat ignore the thought of another person puppeteering Hetch or assume is just Hetch acting. But, I don’t think we know enough about Hetch and his true motives, or things threatening him. To finish this off, I pose a question to you:

You know the trolly question? The train going to hit one person or five, and we have to pick. Have you every thought of the person who was controlling the train, or the one who launched it? If they were trying to stop it, to make it better once aware. Would you blame them for the accident, a situation they might have not been able to control? Just some thoughts.

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rei-caldombra · 10 months

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Uramichi Onii-San- The Woes of the Working Adult - Anime Review

This is a very low spoiler review for anyone reading this who has not seen the show. There is just one section that has direct spoilers, outside of that it’s just general premise and thematic stuff that I talk about. This show is also a slice of life comedy with no proper plot so I would not be concerned about the spoiler I bring up there ruining your viewing experience.

I’d call this a pretty straightforward comedy with flavoring of adult suffering. Quick synopsis-- this show is about a group of adults who work on a children’s tv program where kids are present on set. Most of the actors are very mentally unwell due to the daily stresses of life, to the point where they can’t even keep their masks on completely for their job. Which leads to very funny outbursts of depressing reality.

It's really nice having a show about working adults and the mid 20s-early 30s age group that I think of as the earlier proper adult range. This is an age group that is usually just segmented to a few side characters in most anime and manga. As someone who has entered this age group in recent years, I relate a lot to what's going on here and, in a way, fear my approach to the age of the adults on screen lol. There are so many issues of adult suffering that get brought up here. To mention some of them- Numbness to emotions, not wanting to get out of bed, not having confidence that you will be willing to get up in the morning, that urge to go to a random place just to avoid going to work (I directly relate to his experience of his urge to get on a random bus rather than his work bus, but for me its been wanting to get on a random train). Feeling lost and directionless. Stuck in the day to day. Feeling unsatisfied with what your life is making out to be. Thinking you are dull. Pushing through difficult times for a specific goal. Having something you were passionate and successful at before that did not translate into a job in that field. Feeling despair over not being in a relationship, pressure to get married. Not having many friends. Relying on little moments of happiness. Needing to do your job no matter how terrible you feel. Feeling suppressed by society. Annoying unreasonable bosses. Considering a few days off in a row is a momentous occasion. Even if you are not as mentally unwell as many of the characters in this show, if you are a working adult you will have lots of moments that you can relate to.

While it does bring up these very real and depressing things, don’t misconstrued it as the tone being genuinely depressing or heavy. They really are played as jokes despite the truth to them both irl and for the characters in universe. This is not a show that will bring down your mood. The comedy works super well for me, I think the show is very funny. When it comes to shows that are primarily comedies, it's hard to say much more than that. Directly describing jokes takes away part of their punch for anyone who hasn't seen them already, and loses the context that helps make them funny, so I'm going to avoid bringing up specific segments I really liked, as much as I really want to talk about some of them. All I will say is the main bit of the show is the adult characters reacting to positive/innocent things with a jaded adult perspective.

You can empathize very easily with the characters through their very relatable and real issues. This does a great job of getting you invested in the characters. I really like the inner monologues we get from Uramichi that show his thought process. The characters largely do feel like they could be real people.

Having a character voiced by Mamoru Miyano is always a plus, I actually first came across this show because of clips of his character. There’s a lot of famous Japanese voice actors here- the previously mentioned legend, Hiroshi Kamiya, Sugita Tomokazu and Yuuichi Nakamura. I knew I recognized most of the main character’s voices when I first heard them. As such the voice acting is super good.

I don’t know much about being a children’s programming actor so it is interesting to get a glimpse into that. Such as the detail that the costumed characters' lines during a live show are pre recorded and played through speakers. It's also interesting seeing them adapt scenes to random things happening, like the kids asking certain questions. The characters needing to act and follow a script while also reacting to the chaotic element that is children makes for an interesting setting. I do feel I got a good glimpse into this space from Uramichi San. I tend to really like slices of life that focus on niche subjects. I like getting a glimpse into a space I know nothing about through something more interesting than documentaries or articles. And to me the mark of a good niche subject show is not successfully appealing to people already in that niche, it is being able to interest people who aren’t. If a show can keep someone with no knowledge or interest in that niche entertained, it’s got great writing and execution. And Uramichi San certainly does keep me interested.

I do have one talking point that does require bringing up some examples directly. One criticism I do have is that there's a bit of dissonance between whether you can take what the characters are saying as real or not. There are times when Uramichi will say something depressing while performing on the show and other characters would react as you would expect if someone said something they shouldn’t around kids. But then other times where he does and the characters don’t react as if he did. Sometimes you can assume the camera or audio is not going in these moments but there are moments where you can’t justify that. When they put on the concert is one place you see this. The jokes of the songs going from positive to depressing while continuing to have the energy of a kids song are genuinely really funny. But it does take you out of it a bit because in context that implies the song was actually written that way. Which doesn’t make sense for the in-universe shows writers to do. And it doesn’t make sense for the characters to suddenly not follow the song’s actual lyrics and not have anyone react weirdly to it, including the audience. It tends to leave you thinking something along the lines of “wait, are they just gonna leave that in?”.There is some internal consistency with the children reacting properly at least, as the show goes on the kids replicate the depressing ideas more often. Which is funny and makes sense. This doesn’t ruin things completely, but it does kinda hurt your desire to think about what the characters are doing more deeply due to the lax internal consistency. I think you just have to accept it's loose with these things and that the priority is telling jokes over having a 100% consistent view. It's a bit awkward but I can accept it because the jokes we get out of this are generally quite funny.

When it comes to art and animation, it’s pretty good. There is extra fluidity during more high movement scenes which are nice to see. There are a lot of great expressions that manage to portray the impression of someone smiling through suffering. The overall presentation of colors, character designs, etc. are good too and fit with the setting of a children's program. I like the variety of hairstyles we get from all the characters. I have no complaints in the presentation department.

I’ve been enjoying this show a lot! I love these barely functional adults whose hinges are largely broken. It’s very funny and I like the adult themes it brings up. It’s not perfect in its execution at times, which can break your immersion a bit, but what you get from that loose attitude still works. Despite frequently bringing up depressing subject matter that any adult out there will find something to heavily relate to, it manages to keep a very silly and positive tone. This show comes very highly recommended! I hope you are properly taking care of yourselves my fellow working adults. Stay strong and thanks for reading!

Also Kumatani is best boy.

#anime #review #uramichi oniisan #life lessons with uramichi #summer 2021 #blog

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inkdemonapologist · 2 years

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AUGH ITS BEEN SO LONG SINCE A SAM HAS BEEN SILLY TIMED!! But your most recent Prophet and Sammy piece reminded me- how does Prophet feel about being called out to handle the situations Sammy can’t? Does Sammy force him out or does the Prophet kinda understand what’s going on and automatically take over? I just have So Many Emotions about Prophet and I love me some good angst flavored soup to rev up the headcanon brain

Oh man, Prophet’s perspective can be a lil tricky to describe; let me go on a bit of a tangent –

Imagine you’re living your life and then SUDDENLY REMEMBER that you have a job, that it actually matters a LOT to you on a personal level, that it has kind of a deadline and you haven’t been going in to work at ALL. You scramble to take care of as much as you can, but you start to realise that in a short amount of time, you’ll forget about your job again, until something happens to jog your memory. This goes back and forth a few times, until eventually, while your memories are gone, you write a letter to… yourself, trying to understand why you keep running off and doing these incomprehensible things as if you have a job??? And then, you find something that’s jogged your memory before, and you jog your own memory. Once you have all your memories again, you realise written reminders are a great idea, so you start leaving yourself notes for after the amnesia kicks in. You have a job!! Don’t forget your job!!! But the frustrating thing you discover is that while your memory is lapsed, not only do you forget your job, you can’t even seem to get it through your own head that it’s important. Your amnesiac self has a completely different set of priorities to you and doesn’t want to do the job. Your amnesiac self CAN’T remember. Your amnesiac self starts to treat you like a different person, the one who can remember. When you jog your own memories, you aren’t trying to remember – in that altered mindset, your amnesiac self is trying to wake you up, the person with the memories, and hand tasks off to you because they don’t know how to do them. And with your amnesiac self having this unbreakable barrier to remembering, it… DOES feel like they’re a separate person, honestly, like you’re just remembering this other person’s memories as they make choices you don’t want to make. But, if you can figure out how to get them to remember your job, and how important it is, then that wall between your memories would dissolve, then you could finally function normally again.

This has been the Prophet’s experience. Until Sammy started really pushing the idea that they’re separate people, he didn’t even parse it as being called out to handle things because, in the Prophet’s perception, he’s still the same person, just with all his memories and faculties now intact. Even when he started to see “The Shepherd” as a separate person with very different emotional responses, that person was still a part of himself – a fear in part of his mind that’s keeping him split in two.

More recently, they started switching briefly every time Sammy’s mental stability took a serious hit, which the Prophet has described to the others as a moment when “the Shepherd steps back,” and seems to understand that he’s being reached out to because the Shepherd can’t deal with something. So far, he's willingly stepping forward, and he WANTS to be able to step in and make sure his Lord's will is followed. In Prophet’s eyes, this is GREAT, ACTUALLY – he's encouraged to have that kind of trust from the Shepherd, because eventually he wants the Shepherd to be willing to try to remember his encounter with the Masked Messenger, so they can be one person again. He sees it as the first baby step towards the Shepherd learning to overcome his fear and trust the Masked Messenger again.

Which isn’t to say it’s not hard on him, but the thing is that most of Prophet’s misgivings and fears are buried under a lot of layers and displacement. Like, being dragged by the Lurker into the Starpools to drown was a terrifying, traumatic experience that still haunts him, but it’s Joey he blames for killing him by bringing him unwittingly into dangerous territory. In spite of being so messed up over what happened to him that he’s STILL mad at Joey about it, the Prophet refers to the Starpools as his Home, believes he was granted a great gift and that he should be grateful to the Lurker for giving him the chance to receive it – beliefs which are so at odds that they should be really difficult to hold simultaneously. The Prophet has briefly admitted that receiving his visions is physically and mentally harrowing (“We hold our Lord's glory in this fragile body 'til it trembles, to snatch a fragment of a warning, a vision”), and he is not really receiving a specific vision so much as being subjected to an overwhelming flood of insight and struggling to grasp pieces of meaning out of the torrent – but he refuses to fear the visions, the one (terrifying) contact he has with his Lord, and instead gleefully thanks the Messenger for honouring him in this way and only resents when others complain that the visions are vague and that the Prophet should’ve calmly written them on paper. And when the Prophet fails at a task he’s been called to – tasks he is tremendously, comically ill-suited for – he can’t insist it was too hard; he can’t even blame the others, because he was supposed to be able to overcome them. Failure reflects ultimately only on him, in the face of a deity whom he believes has shown him unjustified grace.

Prophet is happy to take over for the Shepherd when he can, because he thinks he SHOULD be able to handle everything that this frightened piece of him can’t. After all, he has to make up for the Shepherd’s doubt. If he can be strong enough, and never fail his Lord again, maybe he can drag them both to salvation on his own good graces.

#i know you have questions you always do #call of cthulhu: haunted hijinx #prophet sammy #IM SORRY THIS IS SO LONG #i wrote the first part like 'wow this is long i better edit this down' and then instead of that i made it longer

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awkwardwithapause263 · 1 year

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Spoilers for Episode 3 of Mayfair Witches if you haven’t watched.

The sheer audacity of Carlotta be like hi, I’m your great aunt and the dead woman was your mother why don’t you come back to my place. Knowing damn well she snatched Rowan from Deirdre then kept Deirdre in a catatonic state for thirty plus years then wanna be all woe is me I failed her, our family and god then jumps to oh look he’s looking for his whore but wait she’s made of stronger stuff than her mother. Bitch! Her words alone after the things she’s done make me despise her, but binding that innocent woman to Lasher knowing Lasher would kill her in one of the worst ways imaginable all because she did the morally right thing makes me be like I won’t be sad or sorry when you get pushed off that balcony.

How was Lasher able to leave the grounds if he was bound to the maid?

It was Cortland that killed her why else would he be in such a shock at himself like oh my god I did that combined with I know you’re upset I loved her too, but on the bight side you’re now free to bind with the thirteen witch and the fact Lasher was beyond pissed off at him.

So I was right about Ciprien getting there and Rowan deciding to go with him instead and about the safe house being what is keeping Lasher at bay.

Ciprien my dude don’t you know you never tell a woman how she feels even if you know how she feels and anyways it would have seemed like a invasion of privacy if someone told me I know what you feel I felt it when I touched you even if it was done on accident.

People can’t be that gullible to the point he can get into the crime scene and the morgue without much effort.

The medical examiner was an insensitive dick people really should do a thorough background check when hiring and then continuous ones throughout their employment.

Up until their final scene together Lasher and Rowan felt like a drugged girl awkwardly making her way down the block while some guy is taking advantage which I guess is what we’re meant to get from it. I was mentally screaming come on Rowan some woman is insistent you have a drink even when you told her no(when she popped up and started talking I was like who is this some old friend of Deirdre) then some guy appears after you have that drink in a mask. Stop and think about it that’s him. Inside the episode someone said he and Rowan bonded over shared grief I agree in the beginning when he was that woman they did.

He had absolute nothing to say for himself when Rowan snapped out of it and figured out wait this isn’t right you aren’t my mother it’s you it was you all along.

And girl what the fuck are you doing wandering around at night when there’s a psycho demon after you I would have stayed near that building and gone immediately back inside once it was all clear.

I was expecting those boys to follow Rowan then Lasher to swoop in and kill them all to appear the hero.

I wonder if Ciprien’s sister is going come back into play, those heels underneath the couch were a one night stand kind of moment, why is she working in heels pregnant, when she said are you seeing my brother I was like not yet she’s not, Rowan sweetie now is not the time to project your shit onto other people.

Cortland was going through Rowan’s belongings uh excuse you sir?

That last scene with Ciprien and Rowan was cheesy, cute, sincere and kinda intimate.

Love how we getting an expanse on magic and how the physical manifestation of Ciprien’s ability has adapted. In the first two episodes it was like a portal opened and he saw what was behind the object he was touching now it’s like we see a reflection of what he sees via his glasses.

Might add more.

This episode didn’t get me pumped for the next one which I guess is the point being it’s meant to be very solemn.

Was Lasher aware that Rowan felt what he was doing to Deirdre? Doesn’t seem so.

Why do I get the feeling Carlotta’s protection is putting and keeping Rowan in a catatonic state until she dies? Oh that’s right it’s what she did with Deirdre.

Ciprien’s directions were for your own safety don’t leave the apartment, but she ended up having to because of the fire now she’s thinking I won’t be able to go back inside for some time, but I can’t stay out here where Lasher can find me I know I’ll go to the Mayfair house because Carlotta said I’d be safe there. When in all honesty that is the absolute last and worst place she needs to be.

You remind me of her. Yeah exactly what a woman wants to hear(note sarcasm).

So let me see if I got this right when she took that drank it projected her consciousness into the ghostly plane where she could physically interact with Lasher and see other ghost but none of the other humans could see or interact with her or them and when she snapped out of it she came back to herself on the street corner where it began.

If you’re only separated for a minute why don’t you go find Deirdre and leave Rowan the fuck alone.

Anything could have happened to her while she was unconscious on that street.

I’ve heard people say all rowan does is cry, she looks a mess and is making poor decisions. Well in the first episode she was killing people with her mind and her mom was gaslighting her about it, in the second episode her mom was dead and her boss wouldn’t let her work and in the third her birth mom was murdered in both of her mom’s death she had to watch and could do nothing about it.

I think Lasher was scratching at the necklace through Deirdre but couldn’t get it off because she was so drugged.

Maybe that’s why Josephine was there to make sure nothing did.

#mayfair witches #rowan mayfair #ciprien grieve #lasher #amc #carlotta mayfair #cortland mayfair #season 1 episode 3

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or0ch1maru · 2 years

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Part Sixteen: The Delivery

***

Thud.

Down goes my partner.

“Stay here with y/n. I’ll get this one to his room.”

I tell Obito, our visitor.

I grab onto Orochimaru, throwing him over my shoulder. Inside his room, I lay him on his bed, throwing a thin sheet over him for the time being. He must have it good for y/n. I’ve never seen him react like this over anybody. Back inside the lab, Obito stands where I left him. Next to y/n’s bed, worrying about his old friend. She’s physically okay, mentally, not so much. She should be awake in a day or two. She needs this rest. Especially after this devastating news. Poor thing.

“Would you care to stay for a hot meal? Or are you expected elsewhere?”

I ask our guest.

“I’d love to stay but he’ll be expecting me anytime soon. I don’t want him to have suspicions of where I’ve been. If I can help you guys and keep her safe, I’ll do it.”

Explains the scarred man. His eyes haven’t left y/n. The way his brows furrow show me his genuine concern for her.

“That’s unfortunate.”

I say. It would be nice to have some company. Maybe find out more about all of this.

I give him some time alone with y/n before he departs. I begin a letter to Kakashi and The Hokage about the most recent update in regards to y/n.

“I can post that for you, if you wish.”

Begins Obito.

“I pass through the town to get to our hideout. It’s a long travel but it’ll make it easier on you. I know you don’t want to leave these two alone in their conditions.”

He continues.

“That’d be great. Thanks.”

I say as I roll up the parchment, handing him the scroll.

“I’ll be back with more updates and information as soon as possible.”

He reassures me as I escort him out.

“Thank you…Obito.”

I say before closing the door. He gives me a half smile as he slides his mask back on, disappearing into the dark.

***

It was great to see y/n again, after all these years. Even though my eternal rest has been kind to me. Even in the afterlife, I found myself thinking of her often, though some would find that impossible.

As I speed through the town, there’s no sound. Just the odd cricket chirping in the distance. It seems that most people are already in bed, or at least winding down.

Outside the Academy and Hokage’s office, I find myself double checking that no one is watching me. When I find that I’m in the clear, I slip into the Hokage’s office, leaving the scroll in the middle of his desk.

I sneak out the way I came, leaving everything as it was when I arrived.

The rest of the early hours of night went by in a blur as I ran to the middle of nowhere. HE wanted his hideout far away from everyone and everything, not wanting to be discovered even by accident.

“Did you enjoy seeing the town again?”

He asks as I close the door behind me.

“Yes. Not much has changed.”

I reply as I walk past him, retreating to my chamber.

“Did you find out any information on her whereabouts?”

He asks.

Time to put on my most convincing face. With his rebirth, and reanimation, he believes lies much easier now.

“No. Whenever she is, everybody is keeping that tightly bound. I was going to venture out again tomorrow. See if I can find something.”

I answer cooly as I pour myself a glass of sake. My mask now secured to a hook on my hip.

“Very well. Take as much time as you need to find out everything you can. Even if it takes months.”

He continues, standing a few feet behind me. I don’t have to look at him to know his mind and eyes are venturing off somewhere. He’s becoming distracted. Half the time I feel like he doesn’t even know what’s going on around him. Which, in a way, might make his demise easier this time.

“Sir.”

I say.

“May I ask why you have such an interest with this y/n? They’re just a girl.”

I say casually, trying to pretend that I don’t give a shit. Even though I care. I care way too much.

“With her powers, and how she was so quick to kill me, I enjoy watching her. I don’t even care that she has my old eye. She deserved it. I just want her.”

He spills.

What does he mean by want? There’s way too many possibilities for that one word.

“Want her for what?”

I ask, prodding.

“Well, for different things you see. She’d be a great asset for our little team here. She’s powerful, intelligent, and strong. The way she held on while I had her captured was tantalizing. She didn’t even shed a single tear.”

He continues on with his sick rant. I should just kill him where he stands.

“That and if I can’t have her, I’ll just kill her.”

He says. Throwing her life around so carefree. So…unimportant. Like she’s nothing.

I have to do all I can to appear normal. Not show him that his words are getting to me. I can feel my body heat rising as anger seethes through me. He sounds possessive over her. Some kind of sick fantasy most likely. I couldn’t imagine what other ideas he has.

“Hm. If you can’t have her, no one can huh?”

I say under my breath.

“Yes. Precisely.”

Says Madara, a smirk now spreading across his face.

“Good night.”

He says suddenly. Disappearing around the corner and into his room. I sigh when I hear his door shut and lock behind him.

As soon as the sun comes up, I’m going right back to Kabuto. I must explain to him what I’ve been told…

#naruto #orochimaru #orochimaru stories #orochimaru story #kakshi hatake #naruto story #obito uchiha #madara

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reesespiecesofart · 26 days

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Are you awake?

In answer, Varo’s eyes fly open when Mase’s thought filters through. He’s met with dark eyes staring at him, an uncomfortable expression on Mase’s face.

What’s the matter? Varo thinks, keeping his face neutral. Mase sighs, eyebrows furrowing slightly in a typical worried expression. Varo’s been receiving those a lot lately.

Mase closes his eyes before responding. You’re giving off a… vibe.

Varo’s expression remains the same, though he has to resist the urge to blink more than once. A vibe? What does that mean?

In lieu of an answer, Mase opens his eyes and shifts his body to be laying on his back. The blanket has draped itself down past the hard planes of his chest, settling there and resting against Mase’s lower half. Varo, currently laying on his side with the blanket pulled up to his ears, resists the urge to copy Mase.

Don't resist.

Varo sighs, trying to release the frustration that bubbles up out his nose. Refrain from reading my personal thoughts. He dislikes having to say the same thing more than once and this is the third time since he’s met Mase that he’s used this line.

Sure, it feels like he’s known Mase his entire life, but that doesn’t lessen his irritation.

Mase huffs through his nose, resting his hands on his stomach and staring at the ceiling. It’s hard not to when you’re quite literally projecting every little thing that pops into your head, Mase thinks, turning only his head to pin Varo with that knowing gaze.

He sees the moment Mase’s gaze softens, as it’s a direct reaction to Varo’s mask cracking. He had no idea he wasn’t keeping his thoughts in his own head up until this point.

When did this start? How long has Mase been able to hear every little thing Varo thinks about? Is it a side effect of the treatments he went through? What about all those years of strengthening his mental shields? Did he really just lose all of that?

“Varo.”

Varo’s eyes are squeezed shut, but he pries them open to meet Mase’s own worried eyes.

“Breathe, please.”

Varo closes his eyes again in embarrassment and breathes deeply through his nose, not having realized how little oxygen he was running on. That’s what he gets for holding his breath on accident. More oxygen means better brain activity. Better brain activity means that Mase isn’t worried about him.

After a second of breathing enough to satisfy his lungs, Varo takes in Mase’s face.

“Yes, I’m worried about you,” Mase says. “Which you’ve already figured out. Great job.”

“Don’t patronize me.”

Mase sighs, reaching his arm out and placing his hand down beside Varo’s on the bed, palm up. “I’m not.”

Varo’s body betrays him as he grips Mase’s hand without a second of hesitation. A lifeline, connecting him to reality. “It sounded like it.”

“Stop taking everything so personally. I’m just talking to you.”

“And that’s the problem, isn’t it?” Varo says, sitting up and hunching over himself so he doesn’t have to bear Mase’s worried glances, covers falling to his legs. He crosses his legs. “I don’t understand anymore.”

Mase, somehow, knows what he means. “Did you ever?”

“Ever what?”

“Understand?”

Varo is silent. He squeezes Mase’s hand, asking for reassurance. Mase returns the squeeze.

“I’m here. I’m right here, V.” Mase sits up with Varo and scoots himself over and copies his position, knees an inch apart with their connected hands set on the bed between them.

“It’s been difficult,” Varo begins, choosing his words carefully. He’s put up his mental shield, but has no way of knowing if it’s actually keeping Mase out or not. He wants his thoughts to be his own and shared at his own discretion. Like before. “I know that this is real, but there’s a part of me that gets confused and… scared-” Varo cringes internally at the honesty, “- and then I lock down because if I take it all literally then I won’t risk taking something sarcastically when it’s meant to be literal. I won’t mistake words and verbage for the time being when it counts for something, all because I- for some reason- can’t read people anymore. I can’t do it. I’ve lost a part of myself that I spent years curating and fixing, but now it’s just gone. My mental shields are broken. My body is broken. What do I do now? Now that I’m a shell of the person I created?” He looks at Mase, mask cracked down the middle as tears well up in his eyes. “This is the most I’ve spoken since… before. I’ve never been afraid to speak before.” But I’m afraid now.

Mase looks at him for a second before holding his other arm up in invitation. Varo’s never been a big hugger, but right now, it’s all he’s ever wanted.

Tears roll down his face as he clutches onto Mase, arms wrapped around his shoulders. Mase’s hands rest around his lower back, rubbing slow circles there as Varo shakes with silent tears. He buries his mouth and nose in Mase’s shoulder, trying not to dry his eyes with Mase’s skin, no to avail.

It’s okay, V, Mase thinks to him, squeezing his midsection softly. A few tears never hurt anyone’s skin condition.

Varo turns his head inwards, resting in the crook of Mase’s neck. I’m sorry.

Mase responds with an annoyed huff, gripping Varo with one hand and ripping the blankets off them with the other to be able to pull Varo into his lap. Varo complies, relishing in the feeling of Mase’s chest against his own as he wraps his legs behind Mase’s back. His whole body is wracked with silent sobs, taking in quick and quiet breaths to fuel the fire.

He hates crying. It doesn’t do anything. The only other time Varo’s ever cried was that day. Not the day it happened; no. The day he found her.

The memory of her mangled body etched with the marks and signature of his twin brother rip more cries out of him. He tries his best to stay quiet out of habit, but the flashing images of his own face ripping his little sister apart draw anguished cries out of him like no other.

He wasn’t there. But it feels like he was with the way his mind supplies the images. They feel like memories.

Varo struggles against the weight of it all. He’s drowning in tears, not able to come up for air with every ounce of pressure on him. He wants to scream and throw something. He wants to keep hugging Mase. He wants to train. He wants to get stronger. Varo needs an outlet right now. He can’t face this.

All these powers. The speed, senses, strength. His new abilities. And he’s still pathetically weak.

“Stop.”

Varo freezes, choking back his next sob. He went too far, forced Mase to hold a whimpering mess of a man while he cried. Mase is upset with him.

“I’m not upset you’re crying, V. Please, never think that,” Mase says, turning his head to press his lips against Varo’s turned-inwards cheek. Not a kiss. Not a kiss. “I’m upset because of these thoughts you’re having. You know none of that is true, right?”

“It is.”

“You’re not pathetic.”

“I am.”

Mase sighs, pulling back and relatching his lips to Varo’s skin. “You’re not, V. Everytime you think or say it, that thought gets cemented in your mind.”

“Good.”

He’s done crying. He needs to get up and train. Gain back what he lost in the lab. Varo tries to pull away from Mase with the intention to do exactly that, but is met with resistance.

Varo narrows his eyes at Mase’s neck. He’s strong. Way stronger than Mase. Mase knows this.

“Let go.”

Mase doesn’t react, just holds onto Varo. Varo pulls slightly again, to no avail.

This is part of Mase’s plan, isn’t it? To utilize Varo’s refusal to hurt Mase and keep him here? To make Varo rot in this bed and wither away into nothing?

“You’re not training in your condition.”

“I’m perfectly healed.”

Mase scoffs into Varo’s cheek. Varo feels the puff of breath against his face and shivers. “Physically, maybe. Eighty percent at best, in that category. Mentally, you’re a wreck.” Mase pulls back to look Varo in the eyes, still holding on. “I’ve never heard your thoughts so scattered. You’re the most organized and compartmentalized person I know, V; there’s no way I’m letting you train right now. You’ll end up killing yourself for all I know.”

Varo’s eyes well up with tears. He doesn’t know what burst the duct-taped dam, but something in Mase’s monologue squeezed his heart enough that it leaked more tears out his eyes.

Emotions come from the brain. The heart is not involved whatsoever. And yet, his chest burns aflame.

“Varo…”

“I wouldn’t do that.”

“I know.”

“Then why’d you say it?”

“I’m sorry.”

Varo closes his eyes, trying to stamp the flame out. He really wouldn’t train to that point. They still need to end Russia’s reign. He can’t die now.

“... What?” Varo opens his eyes to see Mase staring at him with what looks like a horrified expression. “What did you just say?”

“I didn’t say anything.”

“You thought something.”

“Stop reading my thoughts.” He’s starting to get really irritaTed about that.

“I can’t ignore it when you practically shout your self-deprecating thoughts at me, V!” Mase exclaims, eyebrows pulling together even more. Quieter, he speaks again. “Why would you think something like that?”

He almost sounds… hurt.

“Before you spiral down that train of thought,” Mase says, stopping Varo’s train in its tracks, “let me inform you of something: You are not hurting me.” He says it slowly, as if trying to make it stick in Varo’s mind. He cups Varo’s cheek and wipes a stray tear slowly. “You aren’t broken. You aren’t weak. You’re Alvaro. You are strong and fast and super smart. You know?”

Varo blinks at Mase, trying to keep his breathing even. “I know.”

“Don’t lie. It’s okay to not believe what I’m saying yet.” Mase cups both of Varo’s cheeks now. “But I won’t let anyone insult you ever again, especially not yourself. Understand?”

Varo thinks for a second. He is weak. He is tired. Varo knows he’ll never go back to thinking he’s invincible, but Mase wholeheartedly believes it and wants an answer out of Varo.

“Yes.” It’s not convincing at best; weak at worst.

“Even if you think you’re weak, you’re still everything to me,” Mase whispers. It’s louder than anything Varo’s heard before. “You’re everything.”

Varo doesn’t know why he does it. But he does it nonetheless.

Mase's lips are soft.

#not rottmnt #textpost #text #oc #my oc #ocs #my ocs #dldr #assassins #implied suicidal thoughts #snippet of the book i'm writing #mase is a telepath basically #and varo has autism cranked to the max #they are super soldiers #thats all you need to know to read this #theyve never kissed before hehehehhe

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femdomliterature · 7 months

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FemLit 0368 - Mens' Sufferings Under Patriarchy

So I read this interesting post from the MensLib subreddit, about how men’s issues are always blamed on men themselves and never on society. The post itself as well as the comments are a very good read in digging in to antimasculism & the ways in which feminism has failed to critically examine men’s suffering under the patriarchy. For example (all bolding by me):

Here again, the problems predominantly affecting women are addressed by changing society, while those predominantly affecting men are addressed by changing men (or by telling men to change themselves). The difference is not that one approach is right and the other wrong; they are both ‘right’ in the sense that they highlight genuine issues, but the approach to men’s problems is more superficial. When dealing with men’s problems, we focus on the immediate cause, which is usually the men’s failure to cope with mental strain (“he should have gone to therapy”, “he should have learned to open up more”); in contrast, when dealing with women’s problems, we focus on “the cause of the cause”, and try to remove the systemic social issues causing the mental strain, rather than telling the victims what they should have done to better cope with it.

I think this is a great point, and something we really need to tackle. OP also goes on to talk about self-repression, comparing girls avoiding sexual harassment and boys avoiding bullying:

Boys (and men) are notorious for repressing their emotions. They have a good reason: in boys’ peer groups, a failure to control your emotions is almost as shameful as a failure to control your bladder; it is a sign of weakness, and any sign of weakness makes you a target for bullying and ridicule. So boys learn to wear a permanent mask of aloof toughness to avoid inadvertently revealing any sign of weakness or uncontrolled emotion, and many keep this habit into adulthood. It is generally well recognized that suppressing emotions is unhealthy in the long run, but it seems to me that the commonly proposed antidote is misguided: boys (or men) are told to “just open up more and be vulnerable” or to “learn how to cry”, as if their reluctance to show emotions were some kind of irrational emotion-phobia, rather than a perfectly reasonable, perhaps even necessary, defense against the ridicule, contempt and loss of respect that society inflicts upon those who can’t keep their emotions in check in the proper “manly” way.

It’s something we don’t really question in mainstream feminism. Women’s issues have a societal root, and men’s issues are issues that men put on themselves, and therefore men just need to fix it themselves and change.

And while yes, we all have a responsibility to unlearn harmful societal teachings, just saying “men need to fix their shit” doesn’t help anyone. I’ve been annoyed for a while at how people will react to men suffering under the patriarchy with “UGH they need to go to therapy”, as if

Needing therapy is a sign of failure or a bad thing, and someone not going to therapy when they need to is them being an asshole on purpose and not potentially a sign of them not feeling safe enough to go to therapy, feeling too ashamed, not having enough money or time, etc.

Individual men getting individual therapy will solve the societal problems of forcing boys and men to repress their emotions and view themselves as only valuable if they can perform manual labor and have a lot of sex with women. It’s a problem that is only perpetuated by men themselves and if they just stopped doing that, then the problem would disappear.

No self-respecting feminist would ever react to a woman obviously suffering from the patriarchy with “ugh, she needs to go to therapy and fix herself.” Yes, therapy would be helpful most likely, but that’s not going to actually fix the underlying cause of her issues. So why do we, as feminists, think that “men just need to fix themselves” is an okay response to societal suffering under the patriarchy?

Who does this help? Who benefits from us ignoring these issues? Why do we assume that men’s experiences under the patriarchy are so one-dimensional and that we have no responsibility for unlearning our societal biases around men and masculinity?

Someone in the comments also added this quote from the “perpetually relevant” I Am A Transwoman. I Am In The Closet. I Am Not Coming Out essay by Jen Coates:

Have you noticed, when a product is marketed in an unnecessarily gendered way, that the blame shifts depending on the gender? That a pink pen made “for women” is (and this is, of course, true) the work of idiotic cynical marketing people trying insultingly to pander to what they imagine women want? But when they make yogurt “for men” it is suddenly about how hilarious and fragile masculinity is — how men can’t eat yogurt unless their poor widdle bwains can be sure it doesn’t make them gay? #MasculinitySoFragile is aimed, with smug malice, at men—not marketers.

And then another commenter left this (and referenced bell hooks’ work on men!!):

“Do you agree that we tend to approach women’s problems as systemic issues, and men’s problems as personal issues?” Yes, and there’s even a name for this: Hyperagency. Individual men are assumed to be immune to systemic pressures because the people at the top of the hierarchies generating those pressures are also men. “And if you do agree with that, do you think this difference in approach is justified, or do you rather think it is a case of an unfair bias?” It’s pretty clearly not rooted in reality. The idea that billions of ordinary men aren’t beholden to the social constructs under which they were raised is just plain silly. I’d blame the empathy gap, but honestly I feel like it’s more than that. Patriarchy hyper-individualizes every struggle a man faces as a way to shield itself from critique and gaslight ordinary men. The motivations there are readily apparent. However, we see the same blind spot appear even in more academic Feminist spaces (taking for granted that “Feminist” spaces on social media are hardly representative of the cutting edge of Feminist thought). bell hooks once postulated that some Feminist women are deeply afraid of acknowledging how little they understand about men, let alone taking the steps to broach that gap.

Another person explained hyperagency by saying “Every single individual man is a hyper agent who is just expected to bootstrap his way out of the patriarchy through sheer force of will.”

#female led relationship #femlit

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father-time-and-baby-new-year · 3 years

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alphabet boy

SYNOPSIS: You should feel extremely lucky that the handsome and intelligent Armin Arlert is your tutor...even when he's a little mean to you. Because that's your fault, isn't it? He wouldn't have to be mean if you weren't so damn stupid.

PAIRING: Armin x FEM!Reader

DEDICATED TO: armin fuckers. non armin fuckers, i hope i can convert you.

TW: dubcon touching, manipulative behavior, gaslighting, academia shaming,

WC: 1.8k

“Maybe you’re not cut out for this class.”

He said it so casually, a comment spoken between the flip of textbook pages. You couldn’t shake off the undeniable hurt.

“I-Uhm, uh, yeah I have to study a lot...but I like this class. It was a pain to get off the waitlist.” You keep your voice optimistic and light, hoping to mask the offense taken.

You don’t know why Armin would say that, but maybe he was just being logical...he’s seen you struggle, of course, he’d think the class was too hard for you.

The blond sighs, closing his novel that he brought with him while he waited for you to finish your practice problems.

“You can barely keep up with the weekly homework assignments. You didn’t even hand in your assignment last week, right? Better drop out now before the add and drop deadline.” His voice is soft and cold at the same time. It’s unnerving.

You tuck your hair behind your ears, eyes set low, too ashamed to meet your tutor’s. Armin had been your tutor for the past few weeks now, and you thought it was going pretty well. He was so so smart that you couldn’t help but be a little starstruck. He was handsome too, short-cropped blond hair, wide blue eyes, with a wardrobe that was composed of slacks and sweaters.

Usually, he was always overly polite and charming. You could make countless mistakes and his patience was endless. He had some off-days where he was a little withdrawn and quiet. You never held it against him though, knowing he had no obligation to make idle chatter. But sometimes, you could feel his chilly gaze watching you even though he had a book propped open.

“I emailed the professor, he was really chill about it. Last week was really rough for me, you know? I wasn’t feeling well and...”

“You know excuses don’t fly in the real world right? You’re in college now. Professor Ackerman was just being courteous. He probably thinks you’re lazy.” Even though you try not to look at him, you can feel Armin’s azure blues burn holes into you. There was this quiet intensity about him that made you worry about when the restraints would come off.

Armin can’t help but let condescension drip over his words. Any self-respecting person would defend themselves, but not you. Not when you’re already broken by your own insecurities that make it that much easier for him to trample on.

He can already see pearly-sheened tears leaking from the corner of your hopeless eyes. How cute. You part your pretty little mouth to say something, but no words come out. You close your mouth soon enough, looking every bit like a dumb little airhead.

So he continues: “You know your classmates learned all the first few chapters from high school right? You’re the only one starting fresh.” He moves closer, elbows inching closer to infiltrate your little personal-space bubble, knees knocking into yours under the desk.

More tears form under your lower lashes, and Armin mentally counts the crystal droplets. You’re recoiling into yourself like a shrinking violet which only encourages Armin to go just a little farther.

“You don’t even have your major picked out yet. This is a core class for your classmates, you know. You’re wasting your-no, everyone’s time.”

Not wanting to cry in front of your tutor, you rub your eyes with the sleeve of your jacket, fully aware of how utterly pathetic you look right now.

In a small voice, you manage to utter, “I have a right...to be in this class. Even though I’m slow now, I think with some decent amount of studying...I’ll catch up. Even if I’m not-” you take a deep breath, “as quick as my classmates, I still really enjoy what I learn. And..and...I think at the end of the day, that’s what really matters!”

Armin scoffs, “Do you really like the class or are you staying for Ackerman? God knows how many fangirls he’s had to put up with.”

Even as he spoke those words, Armin knew it wasn’t entirely true. You admired the man zealously and had read all of his published papers. Honestly, your admiration had always annoyed him.

You wince at the insinuation but you could feel the anger simmering in your gut, “You have no right to imply that! Wh-why-” Your voice breaks, “are you being so mean?”

Armin thinks you’re so cute, the way you jut out your bottom lip. So cute and pathetic. The corners of his lips quirk upwards. It’s almost endearing how you say “mean” like it’s the worst thing a person can be.

“Am I being mean or am I being realistic?” The blond coos, “I’m your tutor, right? I know the best for you.”

He takes your silence as an invitation to goad you harder: “You’re only upset because I’m telling you what you don’t want to hear.”

You don’t notice the proximity until Armin lays his hand over yours, squeezing the soft flesh of your palms. His voice is gentle as he reassures you: “Hey, hey, don’t cry. It’s okay.”

He made you cry, but you don’t have it in you to pull away from the only semblance of comfort given to you. His chair scrapes the floor as he sets it right beside yours, wrapping an arm around you, encouraging you to lean your head against his shoulder.

It’s a little sad but this is probably the most physical contact you’ve gotten in a while. You’re an utter mess, and on top of all that, touch-starved.

You’re still sniffling like a crybaby, trying to sort your own emotions out. You take a few deep breaths and force yourself to face the facts:

You’re behind.

The class is too much work for you.

Armin’s right, you’re upset because he’s telling you what you don’t want to hear.

“D-do you really think I should drop the class?” Your voice is so defeated, a pinch louder than a whisper.

His long fingers play with the ends of your hair, “I know this class is really important to you and we both want you to do well...so why don’t we increase our tutoring sessions? Maybe we should meet three times a week.”

He smiles at you, and it looks so genuine. You’re immensely grateful, you are, but confusion washes over you, “Wow, Uh, that’ll be great actually but um, uni tutoring services is once a week...so-”

Armin dismisses your concerns with a gentle wave of his hands, “Don’t worry, It’ll be off the books. Think of this as private tutoring. Of course, we’ll have to start meeting in my room from now on.”

While he doesn’t elaborate on why you have to meet in his dorm, you assume Armin has a good reason and it probably involves university-sanctioned student-tutor guidelines.

You’re stammering out thank-you’s, still trying to rub the tears out of your eyes until you feel a soft handkerchief wiping them away.

“It’s okay, don’t worry.” He reassures, “Don’t use your sleeve. It’s too rough for your pretty face.”

You blush under his words, wide eyes locked into his oceanic blues, “I d-don’t know if I’ll be able to compensate you f-for the private tutoring.”

His eyebrows crease as he gives you a smile full of pearly teeth, “You don’t have to worry about that for now.” His hands graze over your knuckles, “We’ll figure something out.”

“Thank you Armin.” You say it so sincerely, trying to muster the biggest smile you can after the blond essentially trampled over your self-esteem to only nurse it back with sweet promises.

“Well, we better finish today’s work then.” He responds calmly, not bothering to detangle himself from you. You can feel his body heat radiating onto you, and how his hand moved to casually rest on your thigh. But that’s normal right? If you think about it, Armin was not exactly adverse to touch. During your past tutoring sessions, his hand would always be on the small of your back or shoulders.

“Hey, you’re not getting distracted again, are you?” His voice is playful like he isn’t sliding his hand up and down the span of skin between your skirt and tights. When you don't respond, he pinches your inner thigh, eliciting a startled gasp from you.

"Focus." It's a demand so it must be followed.

Embarrassed, you nod your head and return your focus to the problem sets even though your hands are shaky as you grip the ballpoint pen.

You don’t notice how the blond’s eyes gleam under the fluorescent lighting at your easy compliance. He’s always liked obedient girls.

Your thighs are growing warmer, and it doesn’t help to have Armin peering over you. Still, you try your best to lull yourself to focus until a ringtone breaks your concentration.

Armin breaks away from you to find his phone and you find your body subconsciously missing the warmth. He lightly curses under his breath once he sees the contact name, but answers nonetheless.

“Yeah...sorry babe. I forgot. I’ll be right over.” He sounds apologetic but he looks downright bored.

And like that, the call is over. He looks over at you with an apology falling from his lips, “Sorry about that. I forgot I had something to do today. We’ll end early.”

Your throat is dry as you ask, “Was that your girlfriend?” You regretted your words the moment they escaped. That was none of your business. It doesn’t matter if he was holding you earlier. He was doing so because you were bawling like a baby. But why did he touch your thighs?

That doesn’t have to mean anything, you rationalize. Besides, Armin would never make a move on you. He was a handsome senior with a perfect GPA and a powerful position in the student government. Stupid freshman girls like you are not worth the time he so generously gives out.

The blond smirks, seeming to notice your internal struggle, “Something like that. But don’t worry, I’ll make sure she won’t distract me from our future sessions.”

That was a puzzling comment. His girlfriend supposedly distracting from your study time wasn’t even a concern you held.

“No, no, that’s ok.” You quickly assure, “You’ve already helped me out so much.”

The blond pats the top of your head like you were a puppy, “I’d do anything for my cute little student.”

The way your face heats up with a dark blush should be criminal. All he did was pat your head, and you’re looking at him starry-eyed like he didn’t grope your thighs under the table. Honestly, all your cute little blubbering had gone straight to his cock. Annie would have to handle his big problem.

These private sessions are going to be fun.

part I ---- complete

#attack on titan fanfiction #armin arlet x reader #yandere armin arlert #armin arlet x you #armin arlert fanfic #slight dubcon #tw manipulation #tw gaslighting #tw crybaby reader'

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kuroosweakness · 3 years

Text

kiss kiss | sakusa kiyoomi <3

this is the my favorite sakusa mini fic i’ve written yet :)) and my longest work! over 2000 words!

“i don’t think i’ll ever understand the concept of kissing,” sakusa mumbles to komori as he leans down to tie his shoes. his shoes are already tied, but he needs to do something to hide his face for a couple of seconds. naturally, his curls fall to the sides of his face, just as he expected.

komori quickly whirls around with a :) and a :0 face combined. “what was that??” he teases and crouches down to see his cousin’s hidden face.

“i was just sayin’“ sakusa shrugs off. “it’s just people touching lips and sharing saliva. it’s disgusting. why people do it? i’ll never understand.” after dusting off his hands, sakusa gets up from the bench and stands up, having forgotten his tall height and head bumping right into a light.

sakusa grimaces and rubs his head, trying his best to pretend it didn’t hurt at all. “stupid light,” he grumbles as he walks away. komori watches on, trying his best not to laugh while making a mental note to watch out for the low lights.

~~~

“komori.”

“hiya!” komori looks up at his cousin while continuing to stretch out his legs.

“...have you ever kissed anyone?”

“...like, full on make-out?” komori quietly asks as he makes kissy hands to demonstrate. sakusa immediately frowns and crouches down.

“stop making those weird gestures,” sakusa quietly scolds. “it’s embarrassing...”

“what’s there to be embarrassed about?” komori softly chuckles while nervously scratching the back of his head. “why do you ask?”

sakusa’s eyes divert away. “...just curious to know.”

“well....” komori taps his chin in thought. “there’s this one friend i’ve kissed before. but it wasn’t anything too serious...”

sakusa looks at the ground below him, wondering if he should sit his whole butt down or keep crouching. he decides to keep asian-squating. “so how’d you initiate the kiss? like what did you do?”

“...i think we’re supposed to be practicing receives right now,” komori sheepishly says while pointing at their teammates all practicing. the bump sounds and shoe creaks suddenly becomes audible to sakusa.

“oh.” and with that, sakusa gets up and walks toward the pile of volleyballs.

~~~

“remember the question i asked you last week?” sakusa breathes through his mask as he and komori jogs down the streets. he’s overly dressed for a jogger, especially in spring. everyone’s surprised he can move so freely in such a heavy jacket.

“...what..... question?” komori asks, glancing at his cousin before looking back at the road in front of them.

“you know what question.”

“...i dont?” komori pants as he slows down his jogging pace.

“the question....that....made you...do weird hand....gestures”

“ohhhh the kissing question?”

sakusa nods and moves to the side to avoid the kids walking toward them.

“i’ve already told you....i’ve only kissed one person before. say, why’re you curious in my love life?” komori teasingly elbows sakusa as they come to a walking pace.

sakusa annoyingly elbows him back. “is it so bad i want to know?”

“it’s just not like you,” komori chuckles. at the sight of a bakery in front of them, his eyes immediately lightens up. “we should go there!!”

sakusa’s eyes meet where komori’s pointing, then meets komori’s face, wondering if his cousin will share answers if he agrees. “okay. but back to my question about initiating the kiss.”

“well, you’ll have to find someone you want to kiss first,” komori laughs. “and i don’t think you’ve found that person, judging from the way you always judge couples and bad breath.”

“don’t be so quick to assume things,” sakusa grumbles under his mask.

“anywaysss, you kinda have to know that the other person wants to kiss you too, ya’know?”

“i don’t know,” sakusa dryly says, stating out the obvious.

“yeah, tell me something i didn’t know,” komori replies and opens the bakery front door. waves of freshly baked bread fill their noses. komori dramatically inhales and exhales. sakusa lowers his mask. a little “ding” rings as the door opens and closes.

“it’s so warm in here!” komori happily exclaims. “you sure you’re not gonna became toast yourself with that jacket on?”

sakusa rolls his eyes.

“back to the kissing topic,” komori starts. “consent is really important! you have to make sure they want to kiss you. and to know, just before kissing, you have to ask.”

“lower your voice,” blushy-faced sakusa mumbles. “there’s people looking at us weirdly.”

“not at me weirdly,” komori remarks. “just at you!”

“i don’t know why i talk to you sometimes.”

“i’ll pretend i didn’t hear that!” komori happily bounces over to the counter and tells the pretty cashier his order. “kiyoomi, you want anything?”

“no, not really.”

“okay!” komori excitedly accepts his paper bag full of baked goods and eagerly munches into a chocolate croissant. “i was thinking that maybe we can stop and eat for a while”

komori eating = less judgmental komori. who is he kidding, sakusa knows he himself is the most judgmental person he knows. “okay”

as sakusa pulls out a seat facing away from the door, a little “ding” rings through the bakery.

“oh look!” komori munches. “it’s y/n! hi y/n!”

sakusa’s stomach drops. his hands have never felt so clammy and cold before. maybe if he stays completely still, then you won’t notice him.

“hi y/n!” komori calls again.

“we’re going home. stop- stop stop stop we’re going home. i need to go home,” sakusa hastily mutters under his breath and gets up so fast, suddenly wishing his mask can cover his whole face. since you’re standing at the doorway, he waits until you walk inside to walk out.

komori quickly gathers his stuff and says a quick apology to you. “sorry about him! well, we’ll catch ya later!”

confused, yet unfazed, you give him a little smile and waves back.

~~~

“so how was it?”

“...not good,” sakusa’s face and curls fall into his hands. he groans and falls back on the his bed. “anyways, i need to study-”

“no no no, i need to know!” komori insists. “most people’s first kiss isn’t that great so...you’re not the only one.”

“how am i even supposed to see them again,” sakusa groans again and squirms around on the bedsheets. “it was so bad. so bad. so so bad. so so sooooo bad-”

“do you have thoughts about kissing them again??”

“yes,” he mumbles and swiftly grabs the nearest pillow and hugs it to his chest, hiding his face in the process. “all the damn time.”

“then it didn’t go as bad as i thought!” komori exclaims.

~~~

“so you’re not gonna tell me how it went?”

“why’re you so nosy???” sakusa scrunches up his nose.

“you were the one who asked about my first kiss first,” komori defends, pulling back in playful offense.

“like i said, it wasn’t good.”

“how was it not good?”

“the kissing tutorial videos didn’t work.”

“....you watched kissing tutorials????!!”

“komori motoya, if you don’t be quiet i swear-”

“did they at least want to kiss you?”

“...i don’t even know if we’re...together. this is so embarrassing. i was too impatient. i shouldn’t have. i rushed things. they didn’t even tell me they like me. what if they just went along with it and didn’t actually want-”

“i think you’re overthinking too much...”

“can we just walk to school in silence?”

“after you tell me first! i can give advice!”

“i nearly missed their lips. and i froze up when we actually made contact. i was stiff. i couldn’t move. plus my mask shifted upward and completely interrupted us, which i’m kinda thankful for.”

komori stifles a laugh. “so...what’re you gonna do for your second one?”

~~~

“i saw them with his stupid, ugly guy who if you put his teeth next to a beaver’s, no one would be able to tell the difference.”

“....we all know you’re not the nicest person, but isn’t that a little mean..and a bit of an exaggeration?” komori chuckles and shifts his foot inside his volleyball shoes.

“they have poor, poor taste in men.”

“well...they did kiss you once...”

“i don’t know anymore,” sakusa sighs. “i need to just focus on volleyball.”

~~~

“i hate it here. absolutely hate. it. here.” with a grumble he tosses his clothes on his backpack and pads across the gym to get his water bottle.

komori side-eyes his cousin. whether or not to ask what he’s talking about, even though he knows exactly what–no, who–he’s talking about.

“is this volleyball related?” komori asks when sakusa walks back.

...

“you’ve never given up anything you’ve set your heart on,” komori kindly reminds him. “so why’re you giving up now?”

“because all the things i’ve done, i was in completely control of” sakusa swings his backpack over his shoulder. “i can’t control other people’s feelings....nor do i want to.”

“did something bad happen?” komori dashes to catch with his cousin, and the tea.

“guess who i saw them with again? beaver guy.”

“i heard they’re just classmates though,” komori gently reminds sakusa, hoping it’ll somewhat clear his senses. he jogs toward a mini puddle and jumps right into it. sakusa grimaces at the water splashes.

“it doesn’t matter. i don’t care about them anymore. they can have beaver guy so they want. i’m one of the best volleyball players in the country, and i’m ...somewhat good looking, and i’m tall...their loss.”

komori searches for more puddles.

“is it because of my personality?” sakusa quietly says. when he sees his cousins jumping into more puddles, he rolls his eyes. “komori, i’m being serious here”

“when are you not?” komori calls back. he jogs back to sakusa and says, “what makes you think it’s your personality?”

“well....let’s not talk about it.”

“...” komori glares at him.

“well....they’re all smiles around other people and like :/ around me. and y’know, my cleanliness. not that i would change for anyone, but i’m just sayin’”

“if they really liked you then, you wouldn’t want you to change. although, you can be nicer sometimes....just a little” komori cheekily says.

“...you’re right,” sakusa sighs.

~~~

“update: beaver guy’s no longer in their life. he tried to make a move on them and they didn’t like it so they cut him out of their life.”

“wait whaaat? it’s been days since you last talked about y/n. what-”

“can you not say their name so loud???”

“so beaver guy pulled a move on them?”

“yes. and they cut him off because he took advantage of their niceness.”

“...”

“so technically what happened to beaver guy also happened to me.”

komori shakes his head. “y/n hasn’t cut you out of their life....they still talk to you sometimes! and even asked if you wanted to walk home, which you-”

he points an accusing finger at sakusa. “which you said no to >:(”

“don’t point, it’s rude.” sakusa looks away.

“what’d you say no???”

“i didn’t want to appear desperate.”

~~~

“so...how long are you gonna stare at the ceiling? we’re supposed to be doing measurements right now.”

“oh sorry,” sakusa slightly bows down and quietly adds, “i walked them home yesterday.”

komori loudly gasps, which he apologizes for when everyone turns to look at him. “whaaat,” he whispers. “what happened?”

“i walked them home and then walked myself home, that’s what happened.”

“you’ve gotta be kidding me. give the details!”

“there’s nothing too important that happened. other than my confession.”

._. “and you’re saying nothing important happened??”

“turns out they like...me...too” sakusa stutters. his ears are bright red. “i feel like i’m gonna throw up.” sakusa’s hands presses against his stomach.

“the good kinda throw up?”

“there’s no such thing as a ‘good throw up’“ sakusa barks back.

~~~

“y/n looked really happy and cheerful today and so do you...which i thought i’d never see...”

normally, sakusa would jab his cousin if he heard that, but today, he chooses to ignore it.

“so what’s going on??”

“nothing much. just some kissing,” sakusa says. his whole face is glowing.

“remember when you said kissing was gross?”

“i don’t know what you’re talking about,” sakusa brushes off. “and you better not tell y/n i think they’re gross when i clearly don’t >:(”

~~~

“hand-holding huhhhh?”

“their hands were cold, that’s why.”

“why am i so invested in your relationship,” komori softly chuckles to himself. “y’all are cute.”

“it does feel nice to have someone to talk to about these things,” sakusa quietly says. komori pulls back in surprise.

“well, i’ll always be here for ya! but don’t you dare try rubbing your relationship in my face.”

“i’d never. i know what it’s like to be single.”

“???? that’s the most non-sympathetic thing i’ve ever heard! obviously, everyone knows what it feels like to be single” komori rolls his eyes.

~~~

“people are saying y/n’s dating me for my money.”

“ignore them >:(”

“people keep saying that y/n probably get no action and that i don’t even touch them.”

“like i said, ignore those stupid people”

“i wish it can be that easy,” sakusa sighs.

~~~

“i’ve lost track of how many times i’ve kissed them.”

komori jokingly pulls back in disgust. “no one keeps track, dummy.”

“i’d say about 43 times”

~~~

and now sakusa kisses you like he’s a starved man who hasn’t eaten in days 😐 basically, engulfing you. long, passionate kisses that gets your heart pounding every time.

and that’s it for now :)) tell me what you think! <3

#sakusa x reader #haikyuu x reader #hq x reader #haikyuu fluff #sakusa kiyoomi x reader #sakusa kiyoomi #komori motoya #haikyuu fanfiction #haikyuu fanfic #haikyuu x gender neutral reader #hq x you #sakusa x you #sakusa x y/n #lia drabbles

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wutheringmights · 3 years

Note

Can I be greedy and ask for all of the boys ? And any characters you have strong opinions on? Pretty please? With lots of cherries and chocolate on top? ( for the ask meme ofc)

Anon, I'll finish up all of the boys in the Chain just for you. And trust me, I have an Infinite Amount of Strong Opinions. You have no idea how Opinionated I Am.

If anyone is coming in late to this, here are the boys I have done already and a short summary of my thoughts (click the hyperlinks to get the full Opinion):

Warriors: he's best when he's the trashy anti-Link, and I like him so much

Twilight: kind of boring, but I have a soft spot for him anyway because you never forget your first

Wind: should have been aged up a little so that he can have that identity crisis I'm craving

This... gets long. Really long. 3-hours-of-work-long. Before you read, please note that even when I speak negatively about something, it’s not to diss anyone who does like the thing. I’m not vague posting or being passive aggressive. This is all written in good humor and good faith.

That being said, let’s a-go!

-Sky-

What I love about them: He has one of the best character arcs of all the Links. I love that he starts off being lazy and kind of a jerk, but grows as a person because he wants to save his friend. And I love that he's truly the most courageous Link. He has no other successful hero of past or legacy to lean back upon to reassure him. He walked into that fight with Demise with no assurance from anyone that he would succeed. Yet, he does it anyway. Because he's a true hero and someone had to be one. And he's rewarded with a curse that he does not initially take seriously. He thinks he's saved everyone, yet he's cursed his spirit, possibly his bloodline, and his entire legacy of the kingdom of Hyrule into a doomed cycle of destruction. All because he dared to face evil incarnate. I love him.

What I hate about them: You know how I called Twilight boring? I should have saved that critique for Sky. LU Sky is actually the most boring interpretation of his character. All of his negative traits? Gone. All of his positives? Also gone. He's the blandest version of himself, and like Twilight, I now feel like I gotta add some spice to him to make him more interesting while still keeping him recognizable. Even so, he's still one of my favorite Links.

Favorite Moment/Quote: When he kicks Twilight's ass at sword fighting. That's stuff is *chef's kiss*

What I would like to see more focus on: You would think that there would be more angst out there about him realizing that he's actually been cursed, but it's still kind of hard to find. He's the Cursed Knight! The beginning of a terrible legacy! Imagine meeting a bunch of heroes for the first time, and instead of being relieved at having someone who understands your experiences, you're filled with horror at realizing that your victory was a false one. You didn't win. Your spirit will never be at rest. Imagine dealing with that realization for the rest of your life. You could never be at peace.

What I would like to see less focus on: I love that he loves his wife, but he's more just the fact that he's married, y'know? I would like to see a little less blind devotion to Hylia and Zelda, and more complicated feelings about being manipulated into being the hero.

Favorite pairing with: Sun/Link/Groose OT3! I have no reasoning behind this other than I like Groose and Groose definitely had a crush on SkSw Link.

Favorite friendship: I won't answer Groose again even if I want to, so I'll say Warriors. I cannot begin to describe how elite this friendship would be if you gave it a chance. They're just two boys dealing with unique positions of leadership and responsibility. They would probably even bond over being shitheads at different ends of the shithead spectrum. It's so good, okay?

NOTP: Ghirahim. I'm not too adverse to this one, but the ship hinges on whether you can redeem Ghirahim or not. In my opinion, Ghirahim is awesome because he's such a fun villain. Redeeming him ruins the fun.

Favorite headcanon: I have a whole life story planned out for Sky. Basically, he lives to be close to 500 years old by the power of the Triforce. He is the Link throughout the Era of Chaos who banishes the Dark Interlopers to the Twilight Realm and seals the Triforce in the Sacred Realm. He actually seals himself in the Sacred Realm as well to keep the Triforce safe, and he fought Ganondorf in when he broke in. Sky, like Time and Wind, does not get a happy ending.

-Four-

What I love about them: Four is origin of the heroes of Hyrule being known for being children. What a legacy to leave behind. He's such an interesting case of an incarnation of the Hero's Spirit, too. He fought Vaati, and he did his job so well that Demise's next incarnation had to be Ganondorf. Four did his job the best out of everyone, and it came at the cost of creating a magic sword that changed him permanently. I like to think that the Four Sword was not meant to split him, that it was a mistake he made with the design. And it's sad, isn't it? You made a defective sword, and like any good sword, it has a symbolic double edge. It gifted you with so much, and yet he can never be the same again. And his story is never well-remembered because it is overshadowed by the Links who fought the King of Evil. He's does so much, yet his legacy is underappreciated.

What I hate about them: I want to prepare you for this Opinion, because I know it's unpopular. Are you ready? Okay. I don't like the Colors. I'm sorry. I want to like them, but they don't interest me at all. Because they are parts of Four’s personality, they have to be one-note archetypes which does not make for exciting storytelling. I also haven't found a fic yet that has been from Four's POV that did the internal monologue of the Colors in a way that wasn't a pain in the ass to read. Maybe if someone can figure out how to do the Colors in a way that doesn't feel like a drag, I would like them more. But in the end, I think Four himself is more interesting than the Colors.

Favorite Moment/Quote: The fact that he didn't want to touch the Master Sword because he doesn't trust magic swords. That is every I need to know about his opinion on his own adventures.

What I would like to see more focus on: I want more of Four as Four. It's getting harder to find content of Four being his own person first and the Colors second.

What I would like to see less focus on: Four being the Colors first and his own person second. There is something about viewing Four as this cover identity for the Colors that doesn't feel right. There's a balance that needs to be strike between his ability to split, how that affects his every day life, and his own identity of being Four. I think I may have read one fic that hit that sweet spot for me, but still.

Favorite pairing with: Shadow. I'm such a sucker for befriending and falling for the enemy. That is all.

Favorite friendship: Dot! Their friendship is super cute. I like the idea of them being super close when they were younger and struggling to keep the friendship going as they age due to how much their paths in life diverge.

NOTP: This isn't necessarily a Four or an LU problem, but people who ship the Colors together? Bro. C'mon.

Favorite headcanon: I'm torn between two different Four and the Master Sword headcanons. On one hand, Four thinking that the Master Sword is just legend until he meets Sky and everyone else is just a fun idea. He sees the legendary sword for the first time and his mind is blown. On the other hand, I also like my Four with a side of hubris. What if he had the option on his quest to draw the Master Sword himself? What if he could tell that if he did that, the consequences would be terrible. He's not sure what would happen, but he knows it would be terrible. So he decided to make his own sword instead to disastrous results. Wouldn't that be tragic or what?

-Time-

What I love about them: Last winter, I did a two hour powerpoint for my friends about the Legend of Zelda timeline. During that powerpoint, I was rating every iteration of Link. What I said about the Hero of Time then holds true to my thoughts of LU Time now. Time is the original Link, more so than Sky in the lore and Legend/Hyrule in real life. Every other hero is a reflection of him. So the fact that his story is about the loss of childhood and the tragedy of that is incredible, and you can see those themes reflected in every other game. Moreso, he’s the only Link with a confirmed tragic ending. Not only does he end his life unsatisfied, but his adventure is failure on every timeline. In the adult timeline, Hyrule is swallowed by the sea. In the child one, Ganondorf returns again. In the fallen timeline, Hyrule fell. I like the idea since that the games themselves are the legends that are past down about each hero, Hylians have also remembered Time as a tragic figure. Yet, they also remember that the happy moments for his life come from small acts of kindness. Even someone as sad as him finds joy in helping others, even if it’s just to small deeds that will not be heralded as grand heroic quests. It’s beautiful.

What I hate about them: This is more about Mask than Time, but Mask is not an adult in a child’s body. He did not rewind time in Termina enough to be considered mentally an adult. He’s a young teenager at best, and that’s me being generous. He is a child who was forced to be an adult and despite the gods being done with him, he cannot conceive of ever having a childhood again. So he can say all he wants that he’s an adult, but he is not. That’s just what he thinks he is.

Favorite Moment/Quote: Anytime we get a flashback to him being a younger adult is great. I want to see more of his in this his early adulthood.

What I would like to see more focus on: I think I just want more of Time being... not a bad leader, but being an imperfect one. I honestly think he’s only the leader because he’s the oldest and enough of the heroes recognize the title of Hero of Time. But he is not the leader type, and he is struggling to keep it together and has to defer to Twilight and Warriors for help a lot.

What I would like to see less focus on: I’m not the biggest fan of Dad!Time for any of the Links. He’s not emotionally ready for it. And I think he defaults to treating the boys like adults because that’s how he wanted to be treated when he was their age.

Favorite pairing with: Malon. He has this great partnership of equal respect with her and it’s just. So good.

Favorite friendship: Linebeck. I know. This exists only in my head. But if these two ever meet, you cannot convince me that they would not get along swimmingly. It would be so good (once Linebeck gets over his crush on Time and stops hitting on him, of course).

NOTP: Child Timeline Zelda. Let me explain: I fully believe in Bi Time supremacy, and when in OoT, he definitely had a crush on Sheik. However, one of the worst parts of rewinding time and being in the child timeline is that Zelda is a completely different person now. They may have been friends in the other timeline, but her life experiences are completely different now. She is not the same person as he once knew. And it’s tragic to know someone as who they could have been, not as they are.

Favorite headcanon: After Termina, Time spent a lot of time with the Nabooru because out of everyone he knew, she’s the only who took him seriously even as a child. She has big older sister energy, and he considers her a part of his family. However, being treated as such made it easier for him to ignore his issues and put off his healing process by a few years.

-Legend-

What I love about them: Veteran of Heroes! What a freaking title. I love that he keeps on finding adventures, and that he keeps hustling. Even if he complains about never getting a break, you can tell that he loves helping others. He loves being on the road, never settling down, and finding adventure after adventure. Honestly, if any of the Links had a calling to be a hero, it’s him. Is he tired? Sure. Is he a little jaded after having saved Hyrule and a bunch of other kingdoms multiple times? Yes. But at the end of the day, he likes being a hero. This is who he is. His complaining is not genuine; he just plays the martyr because, at this point, he’s earned the right to.

What I hate about them: If you can’t tell by now, I have a, uh, different interpretation of Legend from popular canon. Fandom Legend is not right to me. He is unrecognizable. It is hard to write him because I feel like I have to balance what other people think Legend should be versus how I think he is. The people who are big Legend enjoyers probably feel the same way about my version of Warriors, and that’s fine. I’m not going to gel with every character and I don’t expect everyone to gel with how I see characters either. It’s goes both ways, y’know.

Favorite Moment/Quote: I like how subtly he tried to approach the Wolfie problem at first, trying to ask questions and get more proof before confronting Twilight. It’s a good touch.

What I would like to see more focus on: If I had to choose one thing, it’s this one throw away line about him never wanting to settle down. I’m telling you, folks! He likes his lifestyle! And did you see him when he does presenting the origins of the hero? He’s not bitter about being a hero! Legend is moody, but he is not angsty about the whole hero thing. Have fun with him please!

What I would like to see less focus on: If you can’t tell by now, Legend is my least favorite Link. There is a lot I want to see less of, but just to name one thing, it’s the headcanon that Fable is his sister. I live and die by common born Link, and whether he’s a legitimate heir or the royal bastard, I am more than bored with the persistent Prince!Legend content.

Favorite pairing with: Marin. It’s a good tragic story and I like it well enough. She’s cute, and he’s cute with her.

Favorite friendship: Warriors. I’m with everyone else on these two have peak sibling energy. They tease and pick on each other, but only they are allowed to mess with each other. They’re each other’s bully, and it’s always good to see.

NOTP: I do not have enough energy to have a lot of strong opinions about Legend’s romantic relationships, but I will mentioned that I have lost a lot of love for Ravio recently and am liking seeing him with Legend less and less. I have no better reason for this than the fact that I finally played ALBW and hate how many of my hard earned rupees he’s taken from me by withholding important, lifesaving items. Rat bastard.

Favorite headcanon: Remember my headcanon about him being the coolest bad boy folk hero on the block because everyone thinks he kidnapped Zelda? Yeah, I still stand by that one. I did good there.

-Hyrule-

What I love about them: If there is any Link that I would call a gutter rat, it is this one. I struggle a bit to talk about Hyrule since his games gives us so little, but in the end, I always fall back on him being a hero of the people. He is the one who has nothing and relates the best to people who are at their lowest. Yet, he is still a hero. He earns the right to be a hero because he helped Impa in her time of need. He’s selfless and competent. Even if he never got a traditional education, I bet he’s wicked smart too. He is the Link that symbolizes all of the parts of the Triforce the most. And, god. I cannot talk about him without mentioning the blood sacrifice part of LA. It’s such a cool concept, and I cannot imagine what it must be like to go from being the rough and tumble, win-at-all-costs fighting to protecting yourself first because if you don’t, the consequences are disastrous. It’s paradoxical, and it must be such a different mindset to fall into. But it must also be a blessing in disguise since now he has a reason to finally care about himself.

What I hate about them: Who started the Hyrule is innocent headcanon? Come over here because we need to exchange some words. If there is anyone who would be a realist and know how the world works, it’s this guy. And while we’re here, who came up with the Hryule is always lost headcanon? I also have some words for you. And you know what? WHILE WE’RE HERE, who let him be named Hyrule? I’m have more than choice words for you. His name scheme is the bane of my existence and the express reason why I don’t write him more. God.

Favorite Moment/Quote: That one panel where he takes utter delight in Warriors hiding from his scorned lovers? That is a central pillar in my understanding of Hyrule.

What I would like to see more focus on: Again, his relationship with other people. Even if his games are lacking in NPCs, we know from lore that he’s a good guy who will jump in to help others. He must know plenty of people, and I want to see who exists in his world with him.

What I would like to see less focus on: I have an on-going joke with my brother that certain characters are Catholic, even if Catholicism does not exist in the world of the thing we’re watching or playing. Of course, we’re not being serious. we’re just joshing around. So imagine the gut punch I feel whenever I see people say Hyrule is Christian and realize that they’re being serious. I just can’t take it seriously.

Favorite pairing with: Aurora. It’s cute and I’m a sucker for that hero and royalty dynamic, especially when the hero is a peasant. It’s so cheesy, but I love it.

Favorite friendship: Legend. But not the way everyone else pairs them up as the grumpy one and the sunshine one. I think of it more as them being the pinnacle of boys being boys. They’re shitheads. They do stupid shit together. They both have a dark sense of humor. They joke that they’re practically the same person sometimes.

NOTP: uhhhhhhhhh.... Is he paired with anyone else?

Favorite headcanon: I love the idea that he just likes his way of life and refuses to accept anyone saying otherwise. Legend wants to teach him to read? Sorry, but he’s never had to read before in his life so he’s pretty sure he’ll never need it anyway. Want to participate in the treasured Hylian tradition of piercing your ears when you come of age? Why would he ever do that when a monster could rip those earrings off? He’s stuck in his ways and it frustrates everyone else to no end, but he has no interest in ever changing.

-Wild-

What I love about them: When I was 9, I spent my time online on Legend of Zelda forums. I remember one of my forum friends saying that they wanted a Legend of Zelda game where Link lost. And I think of that friend whenever I think about Wild. BOTW Link is the best Link that has ever been. He is the epitome of every trait we associate with any Link. He’s smart and sassy. He’s hard working and kind. But underlining all of that is the fact that he’s still the one who failed. If Demise’s Curse in SkSw is the set-up, the Great Calamity is the payoff. And I haven’t even talked about how confirming him as being non-verbal before the Calamity does so much for his characterization. I don’t even know where to start or how to articulate it. By game storyline alone, Wild is one of my favorites.

What I hate about them: You guys knew this one was coming, but I’m going to have to say it anyway. Fandom Wild.... not good. I’ve said it for half of these boys so far, but god is it true. I have a way I see Wild that is rarely done in the fandom. Fandom Wild has a lot of the traits I also see in Wild, but to all of the extremes. I will mention one thing in particular as being a pet peeve, and it’s how some people headcanon him as always being nonverbal. I know what they’re trying to do, and I think they’re on to something, but they’re also missing the point of what BOTW Link’s character arc is. I just wish more people would forget fandom and work more off of the games for how to characterize him.

Favorite Moment/Quote: Weirdly enough, my favorite moment is when he got mad at everyone for making fun of his Gerudo outfit, so he dumped Goron Spice in his cooking. It’s encapsulates a part of his character I think a lot of people forget about.

What I would like to see more focus on: I think he has a really complicated relationship with his past. He said himself that his old self felt like a different person, and I think that should be explored a lot more. That idea actually fascinates me so much that instead of CTB, I almost wrote a character study fic about Wild. His emotions are not as simple as feeling guilty about letting his friends die and not preventing the Calamity. His emotions would be so complicated and because I don’t have the time to explore it, someone else needs to do it for me.

What I would like to see less focus on: There is a weird fascination with Wild having memory loss and essentially being like a kid again. And this feels infantilizing to me. It honestly bugs me a lot every time I see it.

Favorite pairing with: I can’t decide between Zelda, Mipha, and Revali. They’re all different dynamics and they’re all good.

Favorite friendship: Paya. I firmly believe that Paya is Wild’s best friend. I am the only one in the world who believes this. But I am also the only one in the world who is correct.

NOTP: Wild is good with everyone. Good for him!

Favorite headcanon: An essential scene of my Wild character study I will never write is one where his horse dies. He goes into shock and walks back to Kakariko to talk to Impa. But once he goes to her, he breaks down in tears and has an absolute melt down over the horse. And Impa sagely says, “It’s not about the horse, is it?” She’s implying that he’s actually mourning the loss of his friends, Hyrule, his life, everything-- but through his tears, he keeps tell her that she’s wrong. He barely remembers them. He doesn’t know them. He doesn’t have any feelings about them. He just really loved that horse. But Impa refuses to listen to him, just repeating over and over again: “it’s not really about the horse.”

And that’s it! That’s all of my opinions! I know a lot of my opinions are polarizing, but everything I said is in good faith, and I am not trying to diss anyone for how they approach these characters.

I welcome you to send me your Opinions on the Links, even if it’s just to disagree with me. I’m cool with it, and I like knowing what everyone else thinks!

#so there are my polarizing opinions #heed my note at the beginning and end about acting in good faith #anyway if you read all of this you are obligated to tell me some of your headcanons and opinions #sorry i don't make the rules except i actually do #linked universe #linkeduniverse #lu #lu sky #lu four #lu time #lu legend #lu hyrule #lu wild #lu twilight #lu wind #lu warriors #me rambling #ask #anonymous

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marauderundercover · 3 years

Text

Crashed Dates (Day 2: Scarecrow)

Marinette grins at her boyfriend, swinging their intertwined hands back and forth as they walk around the pumpkin farm. It was so nice, finally being able to go on cute dates like this. They’d first started dating while he was in Paris on business, around a year ago. Sure, he’d made trips to Paris and she’d made a few to Metropolis, but it was different now that she had moved to Gotham. Now they were able to go on random, unplanned dates, instead of dates that had been planned for weeks. He was definitely worried when she first told him she was moving to Gotham, but she had reassured him that it would be fine. (Not that she had a choice in the matter, Tikki had informed her on her last trip to Metropolis that Gotham was sick, that it was calling out for help and that as the Guardian, it was her job to help it). Gotham was….interesting, but she’d settled in just fine in the two weeks she’d been there.

And so, when he had called her out of the blue to tell her he found a place he thought she’d love, she made sure she had enough layers and jumped at the chance for a day with him. So far, the day had been absolutely perfect. They’d drank hot apple cider, ate warm donuts, taken a trip around the farm on the hayride- everything was great. But for some reason, her amazingly stubborn boyfriend didn’t want to go into the corn maze.

“Please! You’ll be my favorite person in the whole world.” She begs again, her grin quickly switching into a pout. She keeps pouting, leaning against his arm, until he sighs.

“Fine, we can do the maze.” He says and she cheers, standing on her toes and tugging him down slightly to give him a quick kiss.

“You are the best!” She says, over enunciating every word. He just grins, giving her another soft kiss.

“If we get lost, I’m calling the Demon Spawn to come get us out. Pretty sure he has a tracker on my phone.” Jason says, letting her tug him along towards the maze. She just rolls her eyes, grinning.

“You know you’re secretly touched that he cares enough to track you.” She teases as they near the entrance of the maze.

“Yeah, yeah.” He grumbles, glaring at the scarecrow situated at the entrance of the maze. Marinette raises an eyebrow.

“You have a problem with men made of straw?” She asks, legitimately confused by his reaction.

“Geeze M, I knew you were new to Gotham but I forget how new.” He says, pulling her closer. She melts into him, still confused by his reaction, but happy to be close. As they walk through the maze, frustratingly running into deadends, Jason explains Scarecrow. Marinette decides that he’s number two on the list of villains she never wants to meet. Joker is number one. (Joker is also number one on the list of villains she wants to meet, but that’s because she’s always wondered what it would look like to cataclysm a psychotic clown). She’s just about to suggest they call Damian and utilize the tracker that was, undoubtedly on Jason’s phone, when the screaming begins.

“There isn’t a haunted house here, is there.” Marinette says, her face pale. She wasn’t ready to be a hero again. She’d only defeated Hawkmoth a year ago. Just before meeting Jason. She didn’t want that part of her life again, not now.

“No, no there’s not.” Jason says, eyes glancing around wildly. Marinette’s heart breaks at the panic on his face. She knew that, despite his tough guy appearance, he struggled. A lot. He had nightmares, constantly, mostly of the time Joker had kidnapped him (hence the whole, cataclysm Joker thing). Pushing down her own fear and doubt, she tightens her grip on his hand and squares her shoulders.

“Come on.” She instructs, tugging him behind her as she darts through the maze, determined to get out. She stumbles over a rock and lets go of Jason’s hand in time for her to fall into a larger clearing. She curses as she falls, her palms stinging.

“What have we here?” A voice says. Marinette sits up, staring up at a man in a scarecrow costume and suddenly, Jason’s fear, or rather, dislike, of scarecrows makes more sense. So much more sense. She glances around and lets out a sigh of relief. She’d let go of Jason quick enough. He wasn’t caught up in this. Hopefully, he could call his father. She wasn’t sure if the rumors about Bruce Wayne and Batman dating were true, but Batman was always quick to interfere if it was a Wayne or Wayne adjacent involved.

“A girl who’s a little pissed that you crashed her date.” She retorts, standing up and brushing her stinging palms off on her jeans. She’d have to get the blood out later, which would be a pain. Better than having the blood on her palms mix with the dirt that also now covered her hands.

“You’re either very brave or very stupid, little girl. Let’s see how you deal with my newest strain of fear toxin.” He says, and she lunges towards the man, not willing to go down without a fight. Almost immediately, a sharp pinch on her neck has her stumbling back away from the man as she tries to take in her new surroundings.

She was back in Paris, but it wasn’t the Paris she had left. The city that was healing. Instead this Paris was underwater. Buildings were toppled over, and the moon was in pieces in the sky. She was back there. A place she hadn’t seen in person since she was fourteen, a place that had haunted her nightmares for ten years. She inhales sharply when she sees him. Chat Blanc. But instead of fear, she’s just angry. This isn’t real. It can’t be. Adrien Agreste was Chat Noir. And Adrien was….turning, she realizes that she can almost see him. Out of the corner of her eye, she can almost see Scarecrow, watching her. Waiting for her to react. Anger coursing through her, she charges the man, tackling him all the way to the ground. She pulls back her fist and punches him, repeatedly.

“How dare you! How dare you use his face like that! You son of a bitch!” She screams as she hits, the roaring in her ears blocking out all other sounds. She keeps her focus on feeling the man she’s hitting, because the second she lets her focus wander, she gets sucked into her surroundings again. The way the sky just looks wrong. The odd haze over everything. And now, the corpses floating in the water closest to her. Adrien. Maman. Papa. She’s not scared, she’s pissed. Sure, those were her biggest fears and that’s definitely why she was seeing them all like that, but she’d already seen it. She’s lived it. They were gone, not coming back. And she sure as hell wasn’t going to fall down and break about it. Not when some asshole with fear toxin was running around randomly injecting people. Suddenly, something is wrapped around her and she’s pulled up. She kicks frantically, trying to get out of the steel grip she’s trapped in. She had to- what did she have to do? Another sharp pinch in her neck makes her eyes droop sleepily. She struggles again, barely able to hear the voice calling her name as she succumbs to the darkness.

---

Jason Todd feels like a major prick. He watched his girlfriend trip and instead of helping her up, he uses it as a distraction to try and call B. How the fuck was he supposed to know she tripped right into the Scarecrow? He’s cursing himself mentally as he rushes towards the ambulance. Replacement had texted him.

Marinette was injected. At ambulances near front of farm

And Jason felt like shit. She’d never forgive him, not that he deserved it. He’d left her with one of Gotham’s biggest villains. His heart sinks when he sees the blood on her, and the oxygen mask attached to her face. Fuck. He’s almost to her, when one of the asshole cops stops him.

“Excuse me, sir, you can’t go over there.” He says and Jason scowls.

“Like hell I can’t. She’s my girlfriend, let me through.” He says, and the man shakes his head.

“Family only.” He states. Jason’s about to argue, when a hand lands on his shoulder.

“I still need to get a statement from Mr. Todd, if you’ll excuse us.” Replacement says, leading him away from the cop.

“I left her.” He says, the second they’re far enough away. Tim frowns.

“What do you-”

“I mean, I left her. She tripped and instead of checking on her, I was a complete and total asshole and left her so I could call B to get his ass over here and solve the goddamn problem.” Jason says, feeling like even more of an asshole now that he’s said it out loud.

“Did you see Scarecrow?” Replacement asks. Jason scoffs.

“Of course not! You really think I would’ve left if I had?” He asks with a glare.

“No, I don’t. So stop blaming yourself. I literally peeled her off of Scarecrow, she was beating the crap out of him. She’s gonna be tired and scared and confused when she wakes up. Just be there-”

“Jason!” Her terrified voice echoes out and Jason turns, sprinting for the cot he’d seen her on a minute ago. She had ripped the oxygen mask off her face and was looking around while arguing with the paramedic.

“Ma’am please-” “Marinette!” Jason calls, and her face relaxes as she leaps off the cot and launches herself into his arms. He holds her as she shakes, sobs wracking her body.

“I saw them.” She mumbles once she calms down a little. He frowns.

“Saw who?” He asks.

“My parents. Adrien. Their bodies.” She says, and suddenly, Jason has another name to add to his kill list. Being a complete asshole to all of Gotham, sure. Making his girlfriend see the bodies of those she’d lost? Nope. Now the bastard better hope he didn’t meet Red Hood in an alley.

“God, Mari, I am so sorry. I’m so sorry I left.” He apologizes, his heart aching when she pushes him away. She frowns up at him and he winces, certain she’s about to break up with him.

“Left?” She asks and he nods.

“When you tripped, I swear, I didn’t know Scarecrow was there.” He says.

“But you got Batman here.” She says and he jerks back. How the hell had she figured it out? When did she- “I know Bruce said he isn’t dating Batman, but honestly, I think he’s just in denial.” She adds.

“I- what?”

“Batman always comes when anyone in the Wayne family is in danger. Like, so quickly. And I know that Bruce says it’s just a bunch of rumors, like the whole ‘the butts match’ thing? But I also think that Batman is head over heels for Bruce, and your dad is just kinda clueless.” She rambles. Jason just laughs before pulling her into a deep kiss. She was okay. They were okay. He pulls back and grins at her, until he notices the blood again.

“Shit, that’s a lot of blood.” He says, taking her hand in his to try and find the source. He glances at her face and raises an eyebrow at the blush that had taken over her face.

“Oh, um, it’s not mine.” She mumbles.

“Then who-” “Apparently I beat the hell out of Scarecrow. In my defense, that fear toxin sucked. And I was kinda pissed.” She says, frowning down at the blood on her hands. Jason takes one of his hands and gently tilts her chin up so that she’s looking at him again. He grins at her, giving her a short, soft kiss before pulling back.

“I love you.” He says, and if the kiss she gave him in return meant anything, she felt the same way.

Permanent tag list (open): @maribat-october-rarepairs @stainedglassm @kittenmywaythrulife @laydeekrayzee @doll246 @queenz-z @deathssilentapproach-blog @literaryhiraeth

#maribat #maribat fanfiction #maribathalloween21 #maribat jason todd #jasonette #maribat marinette dupain cheng #marinette ships bruce and batman #i dont make the rules #major character death #mentioned character death #maribat oneshot

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