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kkintle · 5 years

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The Art of the Good Life by Rolf Dobelli; Quotes

Is it better to actively seek happiness or to avoid unhappiness?

Living a good life has a lot to do with interpreting facts in a constructive way.

That money can’t buy happiness is a truism, and I’d certainly advise you not to get worked into a lather over incremental differences in price. If a beer’s two dollars more expensive than usual or two dollars cheaper, it elicits no emotional response in me whatsoever. I save my energy rather than my money. After all, the value of my stock portfolio fluctuates every minute by significantly more than two dollars, and if the Dow Jones falls by a thousandth of a percent, that doesn’t faze me either. Try it for yourself. Come up with a similar number, a modest sum to which you’re completely indifferent—money you consider not so much money as white noise. You don’t lose anything by adopting that attitude, and certainly not your inner poise.

The most common misunderstanding I encounter is that the good life is a stable state or condition. Wrong. The good life is only achieved through constant readjustment.

As the American general—and later president—Dwight Eisenhower said, “Plans are nothing. Planning is everything.” It’s not about having a fixed plan, it’s about repeated re-planning—an ongoing process.

The truth is that you begin with one set-up and then constantly adjust it. The more complicated the world becomes, the less important your starting point is. So don’t invest all your resources into the perfect set-up—at work or in your personal life. Instead, practice the art of correction by revising the things that aren’t quite working—swiftly and without feeling guilty.

First: constantly having to make new decisions situation by situation saps your willpower. Decision fatigue is the technical term for this. A brain exhausted by decision-making will plump for the most convenient option, which more often than not is also the worst one. This is why pledges make so much sense. Once you’ve pledged something, you don’t then have to weigh up the pros and cons each and every time you’re faced with a decision. It’s already been made for you, saving you mental energy.

The second reason inflexibility is so valuable has to do with reputation. By being consistent on certain topics, you signal where you stand and establish the areas where there’s no room for negotiation. You communicate self-mastery, making yourself less vulnerable to attack.

So say good-bye to the cult of flexibility. Flexibility makes you unhappy and tired, and it distracts you from your goals. Chain yourself to your pledges. Uncompromisingly. It’s easier to stick to your pledges 100 percent of the time rather than 99 percent.

Very few people simply accept reality and analyze their own flight recorders. This requires precisely two things: a) radical acceptance and b) black box thinking. First one, then the other.

“Nothing is more fatiguing nor, in the long run, more exasperating than the daily effort to believe things which daily become more incredible. To be done with this effort is an indispensable condition of sure and lasting happiness,” wrote mathematician and Nobel Prize winner Bertrand Russell.

Accepting reality is easy when you like what you see, but you’ve got to accept it even when you don’t—especially when you don’t.

By themselves, radical acceptance and black box thinking are not enough. You’ve got to rectify your mistakes. Get future-proofing. As Warren Buffett’s business partner Charlie Munger has observed, “If you won’t attack a problem while it’s solvable and wait until it’s unfixable, you can argue that you’re so damn foolish that you deserve the problem.” Don’t wait for the consequences to unfold. “If you don’t deal with reality, then reality will deal with you,” warns author Alex Haley.

A basic rule of the good life is as follows: if it doesn’t genuinely contribute something, you can do without it. And that is doubly true for technology. Next time, try switching on your brain instead of reaching for the nearest gadget.

“There are old pilots and there are bold pilots, but there are no bold old pilots.”

Pros win points; amateurs lose points. This means that if you’re playing against an amateur, your best option is to focus on not making any mistakes. Play conservatively, and keep the ball in play as long as possible. Unless your opponent is deliberately playing equally conservatively, he or she will make more mistakes than you do. In amateur tennis, matches aren’t won—they’re lost.

disease, disabilities, divorce. However, countless studies have shown that the impact of these factors dissipates more quickly than we imagine.

It’s not what you add that enriches your life—it’s what you omit.

Because our emotions are so unreliable, a good rule of thumb is to take them less seriously—especially the negative ones. The Greek philosophers called this ability to block things out ataraxia, a term meaning serenity, peace of mind, equanimity, composure or imperturbability. A master of ataraxia will maintain his or her poise despite the buffets of fate. One level higher is apatheia, the total eradication of feeling (also attempted by the ancient Greeks). Both—ataraxia and apatheia—are ideals virtually impossible to attain, but don’t worry: I’m not asking you to try. I do, however, believe we need to cultivate a new relationship with our inner voices, one distanced, skeptical and playful.

So take other people’s feelings very seriously, but not your own. Let them flit through you—they’ll come and go anyway, just as they please.

People are respected because they deliver on their promises, not because they let us eavesdrop on their inner monologs.

Two thousand years ago, the Roman philosopher Seneca wrote: “All those who summon you to themselves, turn you away from your own self.” So give the five-second no a trial run. It’s one of the best rules of thumb for a good life.

It’s called the focusing illusion. “Nothing in life is as important as you think it is while you are thinking about it,” as Daniel Kahneman explains. The more narrowly we focus on a particular aspect of our lives, the greater its apparent influence.

Take the longest possible view of your life. Realize that the things that seemed so important in the moment have shrunk to the size of dots—dots that barely affect the overall picture. A good life is only attainable if you take the occasional peek through a wide-angle lens.

By focusing on trivialities, you’re wasting your good life.

As you can see, if it’s the good life you’re after then it’s advisable to show restraint about what you buy. That said, there is a class of “goods” whose enjoyment is not diminished by the focusing illusion: experiences.

Material progress was not reflected in increased life satisfaction. This revelation has been termed the Easterlin paradox: once basic needs have been met, incremental financial gain contributes nothing to happiness.

Money is relative. Not just in comparison to others, but in comparison to your past.

Buffett’s life motto: “Know your circle of competence, and stick within it. The size of that circle is not very important; knowing its boundaries, however, is vital.” Charlie Munger adds: “Each of you will have to figure out where your talent lies. And you’ll have to use your advantages. But if you try to succeed in what you’re worst at, you’re going to have a very lousy career. I can almost guarantee it.”

“Expect anything worthwhile to take a really long time”

What matters is that you’re far above average in at least one area—ideally, the best in the world. Once that’s sorted, you’ll have a solid basis for a good life. A single outstanding skill trumps a thousand mediocre ones. Every hour invested into your circle of competence is worth a thousand spent elsewhere.

“You don’t have to be brilliant,” as Charlie Munger says, “only a little bit wiser than the other guys, on average, for a long, long time.”

“One of the symptoms of approaching nervous break-down is the belief that one’s work is terribly important,” wrote Bertrand Russell. This is precisely the danger of a calling: that you take yourself and your work too seriously. If, like John Kennedy Toole, you pin everything on the fulfilment of your supposed vocation, you cannot live a good life. If Toole had viewed his writing not as his only possible calling but simply as a craft for which he happened to have a special knack, he would probably not have ended up as he did. You can pursue a craft with love, of course, and even with a touch of obsession, but your focus should always be on the activity, the work, the input—not on the success, the result, the output.

So, what to do? Don’t listen to your inner voice. A calling is nothing but a job you’d like to have. In the Romantic sense it doesn’t exist; there is only talent and preference. Build on the skills you actually have, not on some putative sense of vocation. Luckily, the skills we’ve mastered are often the things we enjoy doing. One important aside: other people have also got to value your talents. You’ve got to put food on the table somehow. As the English philosopher John Gray put it: “Few people are as unhappy as those with a talent no one cares about.”

So liberate yourself. Here’s three reasons why you should. First, you’ll be spared the emotional roller coaster. In the long run, you can’t manage your reputation perfectly anyway. Warren Buffett cites Gianni Agnelli, the former boss of Fiat: “When you get old, you have the reputation you deserve.” You can fool other people for a while, but not a lifetime. Second, concentrating on prestige and reputation distorts our perception of what makes us truly happy. And third, it stresses us out. It’s detrimental to the good life.

That’s why one of my golden rules for leading a good life is as follows: “Avoid situations in which you have to change other people.”

Without memory, the experience is perceived as entirely valueless. This is surprising, and it makes no sense. Surely it’s better to experience something wonderful than not—regardless of whether you remember it. After all, in the moment you’ll be having a fabulous time! And once we’re dead, you and I will forget everything anyway—because there’ll no longer be any “you” or any “I.” If death is going to erase your memories, how important is it to schlep them with you until your very final moment?

So don’t be surprised when somebody else judges you “incorrectly.” You do the same yourself. A realistic self-image can only be gleaned from someone who’s known you well for years and who’s not afraid to be honest—your partner or an old friend. Even better, keep a diary and dip back into it every now and again. You’ll be amazed at the things you used to write. Part of the good life is seeing yourself as realistically as possible—contradictions, shortcomings, dark sides and all. If you see yourself realistically, you’ve got a much better chance of becoming who you want to be.

I’m sure you recognize the sentiment: “When I’m on my deathbed, looking back on my life…” A magnificently lofty idea, but rather nonsensical in practice. For a start, almost no one is that lucid when they’re on their deathbed. The three main doors into the afterlife are heart attack, stroke and cancer. In the first two cases, you won’t have time for philosophical reflection. In most cases of cancer, you’ll be so stuffed to the gunnels with painkillers that you won’t be able to think straight. Nor do those afflicted with dementia or Alzheimer’s achieve any new insights on their deathbeds. And even if you do have the time and wherewithal in your final moments to reminisce, your memories won’t (as we saw in the previous three chapters) correspond fully to reality. Your remembering self produces systematic errors. It tells tall tales.

“If you find yourself in a hole, stop digging.”

Not getting bogged down in self-pity is a golden rule of mental health. Accept the fact that life isn’t perfect—yours or anyone else’s. As the Roman philosopher Seneca said, “Things will get thrown at you and things will hit you. Life’s no soft affair.” What point is there in “being unhappy, just because once you were unhappy”? If you can do something to mitigate the current problems in your life, then do it. If you can’t, then put up with the situation. Complaining is a waste of time, and self-pity is doubly counterproductive: first, you’re doing nothing to overcome your unhappiness; and two, you’re adding to your original unhappiness the further misery of being self-destructive. Or, to quote Charlie Munger’s “iron prescription”: “Whenever you think that some situation or some person is ruining your life, it is actually you who are ruining your life… Feeling like a victim is a perfectly disastrous way to go through life.”

Plato and Aristotle both believed that people should be as temperate, courageous, just and prudent as possible.

The circle of dignity draws together your individual pledges and protects them from three forms of attack: a) better arguments; b) mortal danger; and c) deals with the Devil.

Is it worth the price? That’s the wrong question. By definition, things that are invaluable have no price. “If an individual has not discovered something that he will die for, he isn’t fit to live,” said Martin Luther King. Certainly not to live the good life.

If you don’t make it clear on the outside what you believe deep down, you gradually turn into a puppet. Other people exploit you for their own purposes, and sooner or later, you give up. You don’t fight any more. You don’t hold up to stresses. Your willpower atrophies. If you break on the outside, at some point you’ll break on the inside too.

Your circle of dignity, the protective wall that surrounds your pledges, can only be tested under fire. You might lay claim to high ideals, noble principles and distinctive preferences, but it’s not until you come to defend them that you will “cry with happiness,” to paraphrase Stockdale.

Say you’re in a meeting and somebody starts going for you, really getting vitriolic. Ask them to repeat what they’ve said word for word. You’ll soon see that, most of the time, your attacker will fold.

For most people, the circle of dignity is not a matter of life and death but a battle to maintain the upper hand. Make it as hard as possible for your assailants. Keep the reins in your hand as long as possible when it comes to the things you hold sacred. If you have to give up, then do so in a way that makes your opponent pay the highest practicable price for your capitulation. There’s tremendous power in this commitment. It’s one of the keys to a good life.

One: fetch a notebook and title it My Big Book of Worries. Set aside a fixed time to dedicate to your anxieties. In practical terms, this means reserving ten minutes a day to jot down everything that’s worrying you—no matter how justified, idiotic or vague. Once you’ve done so, the rest of the day will be relatively worry-free. Your brain knows its concerns have been recorded and not simply ignored. Do this every day, turning to a fresh page each time. You’ll realize, incidentally, that it’s always the same dozen or so worries tormenting you. At the weekend, read through the week’s notes and follow the advice of Bertrand Russell: “When you find yourself inclined to brood on anything, no matter what, the best plan always is to think about it even more than you naturally would, until at last its morbid fascination is worn off.” In practical terms, this means imagining the worst possible consequences and forcing yourself to think beyond them. You’ll discover that most concerns are overblown. The rest are genuine dangers, and those must be confronted. Two: take out insurance. Insurance policies are a marvelous invention. They’re among the most elegant worry-killers. Their true value is not the monetary pay-out when there’s a problem but the reduced anxiety beforehand. Three: focused work is the best therapy against brooding. Focused, fulfilling work is better than meditation. It’s a better distraction than anything else. If you use these three strategies, you’ll have a real chance of living a carefree life—a good life. Then perhaps even in your younger years or, at least, in middle age, you’ll be able to chuckle over Mark Twain’s late-in-life insight: “I am an old man and have known a great many troubles, but most of them have never happened.”

The Greek and Roman philosophers known as the Stoics recommended the following trick to sweep away worry: determine what you can influence and what you can’t. Address the former. Don’t let the latter prey on your mind.

Not always feeling like you need to have an opinion calms the mind and makes you more relaxed—an ingredient vital to a good life.

First: accept the existence of fate. In Boethius’s day, people liked to personify fate as Fortuna, a goddess who turned the Wheel of Fortune, in which highs and lows were endlessly rotated. Those who played along, hoping to catch the wheel as it rose, had to accept that eventually they would come down once more. So don’t be too concerned about whether you’re ascending or descending. It could all be turned on its head.

Second: everything you own, value and love is ephemeral—your health, your partner, your children, your friends, your house, your money, your homeland, your reputation, your status. Don’t set your heart on those things. Relax, be glad if fate grants them to you, but always be aware that they are fleeting, fragile and temporary. The best attitude to have is that all of them are on loan to you, and may be taken away at any time. By death, if nothing else.

Third: if you, like Boethius, have lost many things or even everything, remember that the positive has outweighed the negative in your life (or you wouldn’t be complaining) and that all sweet things are tinged with bitterness. Whining is misplaced.

Four: what can’t be taken from you are your thoughts, your mental tools, the way you interpret bad luck, loss and setbacks. You can call this space your mental fortress—a piece of freedom that can never be assailed.

Stop comparing yourself to other people and you’ll enjoy an envy-free existence. Steer well clear of all comparisons. That’s the golden rule.

So wisdom isn’t identical with the accumulation of knowledge. Wisdom is a practical ability. It’s a measure of the skill with which we navigate life. Once you’ve come to realize that virtually all difficulties are easier to avoid than to solve, the following simple definition will be self-evident: “Wisdom is prevention.”

The fact is, life is hard. Problems rain down on all sides. Fate opens pitfalls beneath your feet and throws up barriers to block your path. You can’t change that. But if you know where danger lurks, you can ward it off. You can evade all sorts of obstacles. Einstein put it this way: “A clever person solves a problem. A wise person avoids it.”

Wisdom is prevention. It’s invisible, so you can’t show it off—but preening isn’t conducive to a good life anyway. You know that already.

if you want to help reduce suffering on the planet, donate money. Just money. Not time. Money. Don’t travel to conflict zones unless you’re an emergency doctor, bomb-disposal expert or diplomat. Many people fall for the volunteer’s folly—they believe there’s a point to voluntary work. In reality, it’s a waste. Your time is more meaningfully invested in your circle of competence, because it’s there that you’ll generate the most value per day. If you’re installing water pumps in the Sahara, you’re doing work that local well-diggers could carry out for a fraction of the cost. Plus, you’re taking work away from them. Let’s say you could dig one well per day as a volunteer. If you spent that day working at your office and used the money you earned to pay local well-diggers, by the end of the day you’d have a hundred new wells. Sure, volunteering makes you feel good, but it shouldn’t be about that. And that warm Good Samaritan glow is based on a fallacy. The first-rate specialists on site (Médecins Sans Frontières, the Red Cross, UNICEF, etc.) will put your donations to more effective use than you could yourself. So work hard and put your money in the hands of professionals.

you’re not responsible for the state of the world. It sounds harsh and unsympathetic, but it’s the truth. Nobel Prize winner in physics Richard Feynman was told much the same thing by John von Neumann, the brilliant mathematician and “father of computing”: “[John] von Neumann gave me an interesting idea: that you don’t have to be responsible for the world that you’re in. So I have developed a very powerful sense of social irresponsibility as a result of von Neumann’s advice. It’s made me a very happy man ever since.” What Feynman means by “social irresponsibility” is this: don’t feel bad for concentrating on your work instead of building hospitals in Africa. There’s no reason to feel guilty that you happen to be better off than a bombing victim in Aleppo—your situations could easily be reversed. Lead an upright, productive life, and don’t be a monster. Follow that advice and you’ll already be contributing to a better world. The upshot? Find a strategy to help you cope with global atrocities. It doesn’t have to be one I’ve suggested here, but it is important to have a plan. Otherwise getting through life will be tough. You’ll be constantly torn between the things that still have to be done, you’ll feel guilty—and ultimately you’ll accomplish nothing with that burden.

Four: be aware that focus cannot be divided. It’s not like time and money. The attention you’re giving your Facebook stream on your mobile phone is attention you’re taking away from the person sitting opposite. Five: act from a position of strength, not weakness. When people bring things to your attention unasked, you’re automatically in a position of weakness. Why should an advertiser, a journalist or a Facebook friend decide where you direct your focus? That Porsche advert, article about the latest Trump tweet or video clip of hilariously adorable puppies is probably not something that’s going to make you happy or move you forwards. Even without an Instagram account, the philosopher Epictetus came to a similar conclusion two thousand years ago: ‘If a person gave your body to any stranger he met on his way, you would certainly be angry. And do you feel no shame in handing over your own mind to be confused and mystified by anyone who happens to verbally attack you?’

What does focus have to do with happiness? Everything. “Your happiness is determined by how you allocate your attention,” wrote Paul Dolan. The same life events (positive or negative) can influence your happiness strongly, weakly or not at all—depending on how much attention you give them. Essentially, you always live where your focus is directed, no matter where the atoms of your body are located. Each moment comes only once. If you deliberately focus your attention, you’ll get more out of life. Be critical, strict and careful when it comes to your intake of information—no less critical, strict and careful than you are with your food or medication.

Avoid ideologies and dogmas at all cost—especially if you’re sympathetic to them. Ideologies are guaranteed to be wrong. They narrow your worldview and prompt you to make appalling decisions.

When you meet someone showing signs of a dogmatic infection, ask them this question: “Tell me what specific facts you’d need in order to give up your worldview.” If they don’t have an answer, keep that person at arm’s length. You should ask yourself the same question, for that matter, if you suspect you’ve strayed too far into dogma territory.

imagine you’re on a TV talk show with five other guests, all of whom hold the opposite conviction from yours. Only when you can argue their views at least as eloquently as your own will you truly have earned your opinion.

think independently, don’t be too faithful to the party line, and above all give dogmas a wide berth. The quicker you understand that you don’t understand the world, the better you’ll understand the world.

In several studies, Dan Gilbert, Timothy Wilson and their research colleagues have shown that mental subtraction increases happiness significantly more markedly than simply focusing on the positives. The Stoics figured this out two thousand years ago: instead of thinking about all the things you don’t yet have, consider how much you’d miss the things you do have if you didn’t have them any longer.

Speculation is more agreeable than realization. As long as you’re still weighing up your options, the risk of failure is nil; once you take action, however, that risk is always greater than zero. This is why reflection and commentary are so popular. If you’re simply thinking something over, you’ll never bump up against reality, which means you can never fail. Act, however, and suddenly failure is back on the cards—but you’ll gain new experiences. “Experience is what you get when you didn’t get what you wanted,” as the saying goes.

the next time you’re about to make an important decision, mull it over carefully—but only to the point of maximum deliberation. You’ll be surprised how quickly you reach it. Once you’re there, flick off your torch and switch on your floodlight. It’s as useful in the workplace as it is in the home, whether you’re investing in your career or in your love life.

No matter how extraordinary your accomplishments might be, the truth is that they would have happened without you. Your personal impact on the world is minute. It doesn’t matter how brilliant you are—as a businessperson, an academic, a CEO, a general or a president; in the great scheme of things you’re insignificant, unnecessary and interchangeable. The only place where you can really make a difference is in your own life. Focus on your own surroundings. You’ll soon see that getting to grips with that is ambitious enough. Why take it upon yourself to change the world? Spare yourself the disappointment.

Not believing too much in your own self-importance is one of the most valuable strategies for a good life.

The upshot? There is no just plan for the world. Part of the good life is to radically accept that. Focus on your garden—on your own everyday life—and you’ll find enough weeds to keep you busy. The things that happen to you across the course of your life, especially the more serious blows of fate, have little to do with whether you’re a good or a bad person. So accept unhappiness and misfortune with stoicism and calm. Treat incredible success and strokes of luck exactly the same.

“There’s an infinite number of winners,” Kevin Kelly has said, “as long as you’re not trying to win somebody else’s race.”

The upshot? Try to escape the arms race dynamic. It’s difficult to recognize, because each individual step seems reasonable when considered on its own. So retreat every so often from the field of battle and observe it from above. Don’t fall victim to the madness. An arms race is a succession of Pyrrhic victories, and your best bet is to steer clear. You’ll only find the good life where people aren’t fighting over it.

As Warren Buffett says, “It’s better to be approximately right than precisely wrong.”

Constantly distinguish between “I have to have it,” “I want to have it” and “I expect it.” The first phrase represents a necessity, the second a desire (a preference, a goal) and the third an expectation.

Seeing desires as musts will only make you a grumpy, unpleasant person to be around. And no matter how intelligent you are, it will make you act like an idiot. The sooner you can erase supposed necessities from your repertoire, the better.

A life without goals is a wasted life. Yet we mustn’t be shackled to them. Be aware that not all your desires will be satisfied, because so much lies beyond your control.

The Greek philosophers had a wonderful expression for the things we want: preferred indifferents (indifferent here in the sense of insignificant). So I might have a preference (e.g., I’d prefer a Porsche to a VW Golf), but ultimately it’s insignificant to my happiness.

Bearing Sturgeon’s law in mind will improve your life. It’s an excellent mental tool because it “allows” you to pass over most of what you see, hear or read without feeling guilty. The world is full of empty words, but you don’t need to listen. That said, don’t try to cleanse the world of nonsense. You won’t succeed. The world can stay irrational longer than you can stay sane. So concentrate on being selective, on the few valuable things, and leave everything else aside.

Recognize bullshit for what it is. Oh, and one other rule, which in my experience has proved well founded: if you’re not sure whether something is bullshit, it’s bullshit.

One: self-importance requires energy. If you think overly highly of yourself, you have to operate a transmitter and a radar simultaneously. On the one hand, you’re broadcasting your self-image out into the world; on the other, you’re permanently registering how your environment responds. Save yourself the effort. Switch off your transmitter and your radar, and focus on your work. In concrete terms, this means don’t be vain, don’t name-drop, and don’t brag about your amazing successes.

the more self-important you are, the more speedily you’ll fall for the self-serving bias. You’ll start doing things not to achieve a specific goal but to make yourself look good. You often see the self-serving bias among investors. They buy stocks in glamorous hotels or sexy tech companies—not because they’re solid investments but because they want to enhance their own image. On top of this, people who think highly of themselves tend to systematically overestimate their knowledge and abilities (this is termed overconfidence), leading to grave errors in decision-making.

If you stress your own importance, you do so at the expense of other people’s, because otherwise it would devalue your relative position. Once you’re successful, if not before, other people who are equally full of themselves will shit on you. Not a good life.

As you can see, your ego is more antagonist than friend.

Stay modest. You’ll improve your life by several orders of magnitude. Self-esteem is so easy that anyone can do it; modesty, on the other hand, may be tough, but at least it’s more compatible with reality. And it calms your emotional wave pool. Self-importance has developed into a malady of civilization. We’ve got our teeth into our egos like a dog into an old shoe. Let the shoe go. It has no nutritional value, and it’ll soon taste rotten.

definitions of success are products of their time.

Once you’ve attained ataraxia—tranquility of the soul—you’ll be able to maintain your equanimity despite the slings and arrows of fate. To put it another way, to be successful is to be imperturbable, regardless of whether you’re flying high or crash landing. How can we achieve inner success? By focusing exclusively on the things we can influence and resolutely blocking out everything else. Input, not output. Our input we can control; our output we can’t, because chance keeps sticking its oar in.

“Success is peace of mind, which is a direct result of self-satisfaction in knowing you made the effort to do your best to become the best that you are capable of becoming.”

Whichever way you look at it, the truth is that people desire external gain because it nets them internal gain. The question that suggests itself is obvious: why take the long way round? Just take the direct route.

“It is remarkable how much long-term advantage people like us have gotten by trying to be consistently not stupid, instead of trying to be very intelligent.” (Munger, Charlie: Wesco Annual Report 1989.)

authors Minkyung Koo, Sara B. Algoe, Timothy D. Wilson and Daniel T. Gilbert write: “Having a wonderful spouse, watching one’s team win the World Series, or getting an article accepted in a top journal are all positive events, and reflecting on them may well bring a smile; but that smile is likely to be slighter and more fleeting with each passing day, because as wonderful as these events may be, they quickly become familiar—and they become more familiar each time one reflects on them. Indeed, research shows that thinking about an event increases the extent to which it seems familiar and explainable.”

“Charlie realizes that it is difficult to find something that is really good. So, if you say ‘No’ ninety percent of the time, you’re not missing much in the world.” (Otis Booth on Charlie Munger, In: Munger, Charlie: Poor Charlie’s Almanack, Donning, 2008, p. 99).

“You’ll do better if you have passion for something in which you have aptitude. If Warren had gone into ballet, no one would have heard of him.”

They were all things that were simply a matter of deciding whether you were going to be that kind of person or not… Always hang around people better than you and you’ll float up a little bit. Hang around with the other kind and you start sliding down the pole.” (Warren Buffett quoted in: Lowe, Janet: Warren Buffett Speaks: Wit and Wisdom from the World’s Greatest Investor, John Wiley & Sons, 2007, p. 36).

“If you want to guarantee yourself a life of misery, marry somebody with the idea of changing them.”

Buffett: “We don’t try to change people. It doesn’t work well… We accept people the way they are.”

If social change is your mission, you’ll end up tangling with thousands of people and institutions who are doing everything they can to uphold the status quo. Ideally, you want to keep your mission narrowly focused. You can’t rebel against all aspects of the dominant order. Society is stronger than you are. You can only achieve personal victories in clearly defined moral niches.

“‘Don’t worry, be happy’ bromides are of no use; notice that people who are told to ‘relax’ rarely do.”

Mark Twain: “I am an old man and have known a great many troubles, but most of them have never happened.”

Howard Marks: “I tell my father’s story of the gambler who lost regularly. One day he heard about a race with only one horse in it, so he bet the rent money. Halfway around the track, the horse jumped over the fence and ran away. Invariably things can get worse than people expect. Maybe ‘worst-case’ means ‘the worst we’ve seen in the past.’ But that doesn’t mean things can’t be worse in the future.”

“Then at dinner, Bill Gates Sr. posed the question to the table: What factor did people feel was the most important in getting to where they’d gotten in life? And I said, ‘Focus.’ And Bill said the same thing. It is unclear how many people at the table understood ‘focus’ as Buffett lived that word. This kind of innate focus couldn’t be emulated. It meant the intensity that is the price of excellence. It meant the discipline and passionate perfectionism that made Thomas Edison the quintessential American inventor, Walt Disney the king of family entertainment, and James Brown the Godfather of Soul. It meant single-minded obsession with an ideal.”

“Our happiness is sometimes not very salient, and we need to do what we can to make it more so. Imagine playing a piano and not being able to hear what it sounds like. Many activities in life are like playing a piano that you do not hear…” (Dolan, Paul: Happiness by Design, Penguin, 2015, E-Book Location 1781.)

Should you find yourself in a chronically-leaking boat, energy devoted to changing vessels is likely to be more productive than energy devoted to patching leaks.” (Greenwald, Bruce C. N.; Kahn, Judd; Sonkin, Paul D.; van Biema,

As you age, change your modus operandi: become highly selective. There’s a lovely anecdote from Marshall Weinberg about going to lunch with Warren Buffett that’s worth repeating here. “He had an exceptional ham-and-cheese sandwich. A few days later, we were going out again. He said, ‘Let’s go back to that restaurant.’ I said, ‘But we were just there.’ He said, ‘Precisely. Why take a risk with another place? We know exactly what we’re going to get.’ That is what Warren looks for in stocks, too. He only invests in companies where the odds are great that they will not disappoint.”

Even the notorious U curve of life satisfaction is connected to false expectations. Young people are happy because they believe things can only ever improve—higher income, more power, greater opportunity. In middle age, between forty and fifty-five, they reach a low point. They’re forced to accept that the high-flying aspirations of their youth cannot be realized. On top of that they have children, a career, income pressures—all unexpected dampers on happiness. In old age, people are reasonably happy once more, because they’ve exceeded those unrealistically low expectations.

John Wooden: “Success is peace of mind, which is a direct result of self-satisfaction in knowing you made the effort to do your best to become the best that you are capable of becoming.”

from Epictetus, the Stoic: “A life that flows gently and easily.”

“Why, my dear friend, do you do it all? If I had all your millions, I’d spend my time doing nothing but reading, thinking and writing.” It wasn’t until I was on the way home that I realized, oddly startled, that that’s exactly what I do. So that would be a definition of the good life: somebody hands you a few million, and you don’t change anything at all.

#the art of the good life #Rolf dobelli #non-fiction #quotes #books

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motherstone · 5 years

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Can you tell us more about your OCs? How are the OG cast their ancestors? Are Gabi and Sandra happy together now? Married yet? Your OCs are so rad and I love their story

!! AaaaAA thank you!! 😄😄😭😭💟💗💞💘💓💕💘💝 that’s is so rad of you op!!! And I’ll try my best to tell them a bit of their story:

Lemlin is born with a birth defect (underdeveloped elf ears), which makes him unable to receive vibrations (I hc the tip of elf ears are used to detect so) and hear things properly. He doesn’t really want implants and is actually perfectly fine with his disability, so he wears hearing aids instead and elf ears prosthetics just in battle. He had a full-blooded elf brother, Jaqes, who was the son of a wealthy nobleman before the Nobility class was dissolved a long time ago. They have a close and amiable relationship with one another, but Jaqes didn’t know he’s a member of the covert Auxiliary, much less a sharpshooter (which is ironic, because he’s the head of the Central Intelligence Division in there, a mix of CIA and FBI). Lemlin has a variety of friend including both humans, elves, and halflings. He’s really interested in theater, which is actually pretty suitable with his disability (deaf people are incredibly expressive while signing so yea!), and often goes on shows (Gigas goes with him on ocassion. They sorta have a father-son relationship haha). He’s the elf equivalent of 16 (no one knows. They thought he’s 22, it also doesn’t help he has his helmet on all the time). Lemlin is pan-ace. He lives in Milre, Gulfen.

Ian has a very strained relationship with his father (hc is that nearly all who is part of the Elf army are abusive fathers because they didn’t get the treatment they needed at the time), who is at odds with his homosexuality. He doesn’t care though, although at first he inherited his racism. That is, until his sister (Mako) had teenage sex with a human (who broke up with her when she got pregnant), and thus giving birth to a halfling, much to his anger. He’s even more furious with humans over this, but eventually realize his anger was bullshit, especially when his nephew was born. Now he has human friends, a human BESTfriend (Sandra), and is now seatching for a boyfriend (he’s working on it. If they can’t handle his personality they gotta go). Ian is passive-aggressive and sarcastic at times, especially on the field, so it causes great friction among the group, he is also prideful and assured with his great skills and technicality. However for all of his ego, he is a good leader when Gabi is not around and gets the job done, and is incredibly competent at what he do (he’s based on a few teachers and a classmate of mine haha). He’s the elf equivalent of 26, with kinfe skills, mechanic skills, pilot skills, and tactic skills, only second to Gabi (but the gap is still wide). He’s gay. He lives in Gorbon, Windsor.

Gigas! Big and friendly Gigas. He used to live in Ganon’s Gate, and had a halfling bestfriend, that is until said friend was lynched, to his great horror. It leads him to killing someone who went after him, which landed him in jail. Thankfully, Gulfen’s prison system is revised thanks to the King (Trellis. It’s similar to how prisoners are treated in Norway), so his actions are recognized as self-defense. While in prison, someone from the Auxiliary sees potential in him (it helps that he’s huuuuge. Like, 6"10’ huge. I decided that 7 feet is too tall), and thus offers to recruit him once his term is finished. By then, he’s a changed man, learning from experience, books, and stories from the inmates helped him develop a kinder and helpful personality (still cheerful tho. He’s always a joyous and passionate man). He gets into the Auxiliary and was assigned to Lufen, Coco, where he met his wife. It was a celebratio for the end of the great war, and the city was holding a huge banquet (similar to the fiesta of the Philippines where the food is laid out on a huuuuge table), and that’s where he met his future wife, whom he loudly comolimented her cooking (he’s a cook himself). There’s a lot more to his story besides this but I’ll cut it off. He’s the elven equivalent of 36, and is an incredibly strong guy, but lacks any sort of outstanding ability besides that. His personality acts as a great mediator amongst the group, and as a guiding and kind voice to all, and is very friendly towards Theorn. He’s straight. He lives in Coco, Lufen with his son and wife.

Sandra! She’s the physical incarnation of Dumb Bitch Energy (aaaa bit of a self-insert ahah). But by God is she agile and fast. She has 4 siblings (a couple are adopted) and she’s the oldest, her family owning a farm in Lufen. She used to be assigned in Gulfen to detect and neutralize landmines with her dog, until her legs got blown off along with her companion. It devastated her so much, she uses sex to cope (she’s hypersexual, but dw she is working on it). Sandra can a bit slow and dim-witted at times, but has a treasure trove of street smarts with instincts to match and is a friendly person to anyone regardless. She is on ocassion sorta oblivious to the atmosphere, which makes her make a situation worse, but if you direct her on the field, she uses her creativity to do her job efficiently. She’s bffs with Ian, often spending time with one another to the point of a qpr (queer-platonic relationship. THAT close). She’s 23. She’s bi/pan. She lives in a developing town of Lufen.

Theorn, an expert swordsman who is the only person left from the Redbeard warrior clan. He’s still using Leon’s sword, still at good shape, at the age of repulsor and stonekeeper tech (which is impractical but he’s still good fighter so they don’t stop him). He was orphaned at a young age, but developed a strong moral code regardless and became a police officer in Kanalis as a result. He got tangled in with the Auxiliary when he gets out during a lockdown (upon which all citizens goes underground for safety) to help people when the city is attacked by a rogue mountain giant, and sees Gabi slaying the thing and encountering Ian (who is in a different squad from Gabi. This is so long ok), which he is not meant to do or see, as the Auxiliary’s existence must be kept secret. He and Ian fights but they were toe to toe when it comes to close combat, they knock him out and takes him to the Hexagon (Auxiliary HQ) with the intent to wipe his memory of the event, to which he simply pleads to join, feeling he’ll be able to contribute more. Now he’s in a squad of the weirdest, egoistic people he’s met, and although looking serious, is absolutely at a loss of words at the Auxiliary’s odd happnings and morbid humor (heard soldiers develop nihilistic and fatalistic sense of humour once), but deep respect at the fights and sacrifices that they do. His lawful, goody-good personality is often at odds with the group (he’s kind of the prim and proper guy while these dudes… Can be wacky at times), to his great frustration, with Gigas the only person taking him seriously. He is at most odds with Ian (haha sexual tension everyone?) and with Gabi’s chaotic neutral/good personality. He is still good friends with them tho and cares about their sakes. Theorn is still a reliable and the most trustworthy guy of the group, and although his skills are nowhere near outstanding outside parkour, hand-to-hand combat and swordplay, he is strong, fast, and agile in his own way. He’s 24. Theorn is bi/pan.He lives in Kanalis, Windsor.

Gabi. Hot-headed, incredibly petty, batshit strong and skilled Gabi. She follows her own moral code, and is often at odds with the authority at Auxiliary and her own squad until she realizes her toxic attitude aint shit and changed. Now she’s the most serious of the group, but at least reasonable. Has a very fucked up sense of humour and hates Theorn’s personality (cop-convict anyone?), but ultimately came to resoect him for insisitng on doing good in a shitty world. Has a serious crush on a developing artist, who was pretty nice and her cheerful and lax personality helps her feel safe and comfortable, helping her develop social awareness and skills. She is in fact, not in a relationship with Sandra (not her type). Her crush used to have a crush on someone, but eventually stops and slowly has a crush on her (not that she knew. She was p much resigned to unreqruited love). But like her, her cursh has a deep set of mental issues, leading her to fall into depression and neglect, making her unable to work on her recruitment piece for Gulfen’s Institution (which offers free tuiton to its students should they oass and it’s a great school). Gabi then often breaks out of the Auxiliary without permission and during vacation months to take care of her recovery (it started when her mother beat her up in her OWN home, an small dilapilating apartment, making her feel paranoid and unsafe. It ignited old self-loathing and unwavering sadness yet again). She eventually gets better, and gets accepted, to the duo’s happiness. At a celebration party, she takes Gabi as her plus one. As they dance, Gabi finally confesses her feelings, which her crush actually reciprocates. They then starts a happy and healthy relationship. She the elven equivalent of 25. She’s a butch lesbian and lives in an unspecified part of Gulfen. Did I mention Gabilan is her pops

Ravis. He, him/they, them. They think idealistically on ocassion, even ny Theorn’s standards so the squad is kind of exasperated with him. It doesn’t help he is more naive and inexperience in comparison to them (yes, even Lemlin), with a good childhood to boot (in comparison to theirs) so it took quite a long while for them to warm up the guy. Ravis used to have a happy and healthy childhood in Lucien with his mother, and his father working abroad in Gulfen, but visits them very feequently. It all changes when the King suddenly (tw: suicide) committed suicide (?) (they never found the body), plunging the Elf nation into chaos and government shutdown affecting their lives outside Gulfen. They continue on regardless, with their mother ending up as a widow, and they studied to become one of the leading pioneers of Alchemy, under their mother’s tutelage. They then studied combat under three teachers during their teen years, and in nearing the end of their third term, theur mother is afflicted with an unprecedented terminal illness, and dies. Even though they are of age, they quietly move into the North East of Gulfen, in a remote village where they work as a healer. Needing his intelligence, the squad was sent over to recruit and escort them, in order to investigate a chemical used when an attack on the Border Guard occurs, leading to a breach and thus ending the 500 years of the Gate being infallible. They nevertheless have a compassionate and empathetic nature, driven to help others especially those in need. He is quite well-spoken and intelligent, and has good social skills. Oddly enough, he doesn’t really have friends until the squad. They’re the elven equivalent of 20, and is a certified doctor.

#ok that is enough #thank u for asking and apolohies for the ling post #thank u for asking

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swyllh · 6 years

Text

[wonwoo] my mistress’ eyes are nothing like the sun

title: my mistress’ eyes are nothing like the sun [from sonnet 130]

pairing: wonwoo x reader

word count: 3081

genre: fluff. just. fluff.

"leav me alone," you curse, catching a high-five from vernon. it's a good pun. you've been waiting to use it since thinking it up last sunday night when you were bitching with seungkwan.

you: 192, wonwoo: 192. boom.

wonwoo rolls his eyes. "one measly poet doesn't diminish the value of page poetry."

you scoff, "yeah it just olib-obil- fucking- oblierated your argument on publishers being gatekeepers of page poetry."

"obliterated," wonwoo corrects scathingly. that despicable raccoon. "at least it's better than not having a gateway at all."

"no, because slam is fundamentally different," you say between gritted teeth.

wonwoo starts packing his bag. "so it's not poetry, you admit?"

god. you raise your heads to the high heavens, and are met with the questionable, green remnants of that-incident-with-jeonghan-and-seokmin on the ceiling. the clatter of the ceiling fan offers no enlightenment. why do idiots roam freely among us, you ask. brr, brr, cries the fan.

wonwoo: 193, you: 192.

"no!" you exclaim.

wonwoo raises an eyebrow, shifting his bag strap on his bony shoulder. one day he'll fall onto his own shoulder and puncture his huge, inflated ego. one day. "no, it's not poetry?"

"i am not conceding," you snap back.

"so there is something to concede."

wonwoo: 194, you: 192.

you chase after him angrily. damn long legs. he'd have been executed in some ancient civilisation for being so freakishly tall. freaking slender man.

"poems weren't written down at first - that's an eurocentric notion that dismisses other groups of people who didn't have written language," you pause to catch for breath.

as you amble past jeonghan, he reaches out and ruffles your head without so much as a look in your direction; your rowdy garnish arguments are a common occurrence in the east wing now. at precisely 10:14am the sounds of heavy sarcasm and undiluted exasperation ring throughout the hallway like clockwork.

"poetry came from songs, odes," you wave your hand around to gesture other unnamed synonyms. "slam poetry represents a revolution - not just because it introduces newer concerns and techniques of rhyme and rhythm, but because it is a tribute to older times."

wonwoo holds up a hand. you shove it away. "don't interrupt me."

he quirks an eyebrow. you find you have nothing else to add. "okay, interrupt me."

"as poetic as your argument sounds," he says, slowing down as you near the corner before you part, "you do realise that nobody's consciously paying tribute to the ancient origins of poetry and hymns, right?"

you roll your eyes. "even if they don't have the intent, so what?"

"so what, indeed," wonwoo echoes softly. there's got to be menace lurking somewhere in his words.

you puff your chest out, ready to defend slam poetry's honour to the very last. wonwoo stares at you. and then his watch. and then back at you again.

"w-what?" you say, not stuttering. "well, if they don't have the intent then doesn't it also show like, a return to some common ground? of humanity or something."

"you mean to say that slam poetry is innate?" wonwoo deadpans. "like how newborn babies come out -"

you roll your eyes. "no! i mean the rhythm. the need to vocalise."

wonwoo crosses his arms. "interruption deduction."

wonwoo: 194, you: 191.

"hey! you interrupted me earlier!" you bite back.

"technically you had nothing left to say." and then, "what about babies born deaf or dumb?"

you hate how slimey his reasoning is. there's got to be some loophole. this guy's got the soul of a lawyer but the major of an english lit. what the heck.

you huff, squaring your shoulders. "that's because you interrupted my train of thought! and about disabled babies -"

"you need to think faster," he says quickly. "what was it about disabled babies?"

... wonwoo: 195, you: 191.

you settle for crossing your arms, leaning against the wall of the intersection. "well, i concede the point about disabled babies, but only because the nuance is controversial and cannot be covered in a fast-paced environment as such."

as you finish your sentence, the bell rings. wonwoo eyes you cautiously. the rush of students stampeding off to their next class breezes past the both of you, cocooning you in a whirl of noises and varying degrees of body odour or thickly-layered deodorant.

wonwoo leans in, and repeats a set of numbers to you.

"...380," you echo back.

he nods, and turns to join the stream of migrating salmon towards their final destination. advanced calculus. what a nerd. you can't believe you actually know someone who takes that willingly in the arts stream.

"...380," you repeat, walking off to your own class.

"so you're telling me," kimmy says, placing a hand in front of you.

"interruption deduction," you blurt out.

kimmy retracts her hand warily like you're a particularly grotesque descendant of some arachnid monstrosity. "you have jargons. ugh."

"kinky," chan says, tapping at his game.

kimmy shoves him out of the seat. chan winces, though his fingers never leave the screen.

"freaking hell, i almost died!"

kimmy snaps her fingers at you again. "you mean to say he gave you his number after that weird mating ritual you guys went through."

you hold up a finger. "first, yes, but only to continue the argument, and secondly, it's not a mating ritual. he's wrong about-"

"but it is weird," kimmy says. "you talk to the guy you claim to hate-"

"-he's misguided and-"

"-you claim to hate," kimmy emphasises, slamming your finger down, "every. single. lit class, and it's not even for class participation."

"that's a good idea," chan says, thumbs pummelling down on his phone. "two birds with one stone."

kimmy grabs your hands, beseeching. "please just use your head and think."

you [1902]: http://watchtube/video_knob_poetry_seventeen+right+here_11294

you [1902]: http://watchtube/video_knob_poetry_like+ocean+waves_11653

you [1902]: http://watchtube/video_knob_poetry_twenty+four+seven_12472

you [1902]: http://watchtube/video_knob_poetry_boom+boom_18273

you [1902]: http://watchtube/video_knob_poetry_gibun+gibun+gibun_17349

wonwoo [2024]: jesus christ.

wonwoo [2045]: alright, some of them are good.

you [2046]: see??????

wonwoo [2046]: always exceptions to the rule.

you [2046]: u g h

you [2046]: are you serious

wonwoo [2047]: i did say some of them were good.

you [2047]: h a

wonwoo [2047]: i never said there weren't good ones.

wonwoo [2047]: i just said that page poetry is generally of higher quality.

you [2048]: by what standards?

wonwoo [2048]: you haven't been able to prove the longevity of any particular slam poem.

wonwoo [2048]: wouldn't you say that's the problem?

wonwoo [2048]: its circulation isn't tied to any specific culture or reinforced thereafter.

wonwoo [2049]: therefore: oral tradition doesn't apply here.

you [2050]: ..........

you [2050]: why longevity? why does it need to be tied to any culture? why rate slam according to the criteria of page poetry?

wonwoo [2050]: that's because you haven't set a criteria.

wonwoo [2051]: boom.

you [2051]: christ.

you [2051]: brb im going to work on history essay

you [2053]: this is n o t a cowardly retreat!!!!!!!!!!

wonwoo [2053]: you said it

you [2054]: i will be back!!!!!!!!!!

when you join her at lunch, kimmy gives you an odd look. you respond by pretending to change tables. she holds you down.

"where's wonwoo?" she says.

you roll your eyes. "join the club."

"no, seriously," she says, angling her head to glance behind you. "where is he?"

"how would i know?" you throw your hands up in the air, narrowly endangering your cutlery. "first vernon, then jeonghan, then professor lee, then this weird guy from whatever abstract math, then-"

kimmy pulls away. "from math?"

you fling your hands out at her, smiling widely at her scrunched up nose. "don't worry. i made sure to sanitise myself after contact."

kimmy groans. "not the point."

"then?" you wag an eyebrow. "you were spooked when he started joining our table."

"yeah," kimmy deadpans, picking up her chopsticks and pointing them at you. a dribble of soy sauce falls from it. "but since then he's been coming over every day without fail to bicker with you and so i got used to it."

you spread your arms out, appreciating the space and the rare stab of freedom and uncontested territory. "and now we are delivered from all our burdens."

kimmy pokes around at her noodles. "so you don't know where he is."

"lady!" you exclaim, jabbing your fork at her fishball. "no! i'm not a wonwoo-detector!"

she pauses, ignoring your heist. "you have his number."

"yeah?"

kimmy gives you a meaningful look. "are you going to check if he's sick?"

"why?"

you've done it. kimmy's finally reached maximum-incredulity. for a moment you feel the urge to reach over your head to see if you've sprouted extra limbs or a third eye. with the way she's gawking at you, you think you might have regressed into a blobfish.

she presses a hand to her temples. sighs, and then steadies herself. "okay. at the very, very least, aren't you going to make sure he doesn't miss anything in class."

you think about it. "he's got other friends."

kimmy presses her fingers together like a steeple over her nose. BOI. "you are his friend."

"i wouldn't say friend," you say, shuddering at the word, even as you tug your phone out. "it's more, like-?"

you choke out a questionable, questioning sound. kimmy has a glimmer of hope in her eyes before sighing it away again.

you [1236]: hey you sick?

wonwoo [1236]: yeah, a bit.

"yeah, he's sick," you report.

kimmy chews on her noodles. "tell him about class?"

you [1238]: so for lit today we went through freudian vs feminism, as well as why slam is better than page, and the homework is reading chapters 11-13

wonwoo [1238]: nice try.

you [1239]: you're not that sick then

wonwoo [1239]: i haven't moved an inch since freefalling onto my bed at 7 last night.

you [1240]: müde

wonwoo [1241]: is that german?

you [1241]: pun.

wonwoo [1242]: if you have to explain it it's not that good.

you [1242]: precautionary measures for a foolproof pun.

wonwoo [1243]: hey i'm sick remember

you [1243]: whats new

"it's cute and all," kimmy interrupts, drawing your attention back up to her, "to see you smile like a fool, but we got five more minutes and your food isn't gonna eat itself."

you frown, hard. "not smiling like a fool."

kimmy waves you away. "just eat."

when she rises to put away her tray, you turn back to your phone.

wonwoo [1244]: mean :(

wonwoo [1245]: ?

you [1247]: gtg class

wonwoo [1247]: oh okay bye

you [1247]: ttyl

wonwoo [1250]: thanks, btw.

you[1251]: np

mingyu, from his other class, saddles you with a stack of math notes. holding them in your arms feels like an allergic reaction. you follow his haphazard instructions to get to wonwoo's room. the security guard doesn't even blink when you walk into the building. so you do.

the dorms are unexpectedly clean. doors are plain and apparently functional, the hallway is well lit, and noise isn't much of a concern. then again, it is a school day.

you reach wonwoo's room. knock twice. the door opens to show a young lady with a dark red lip.

"is this wonwoo's room?"

she nods. "yeah, he's sleeping now."

you notice the way she's got on a too-large shirt. wonwoo's worn that in one of your lit classes. you hand her the stack of notes.

"these are from his math class."

she takes them. "ah, thank you! is there anything you want me to tell him when he wakes up?"

"no," you say.

the door closes on you. you look down and see a pair of black strappy heels next to plain sneakers.

wonwoo [2143]: did you come over?

you [2146]: yeah

wonwoo [2146]: thanks, for the notes.

you [2148]: np

the reality of things don't sink in until you're stuck in a library cubicle, knees barely brushing against wonwoo's (that giant) and huddling over the table to doodle little devils on his side of the paper. you glance up, head almost bumping into wonwoo's, and then zip back down to jot another idea.

come to college, they said. it would be intellectually stimulating, they said.

you can't believe you're prepping for a presentation by going through all of your arguments for and against slam poetry with him. it's all chan's fault, you think bitterly, watch as he separates argument from argument with careful underlines. suggesting to actually make this class participation.

talk about exploitation. something doesn't sit right with you.

"so when we debate," wonwoo whispers, focused and oblivious. "you'll bring up this point in rebuttal to this. see how that works?"

you hum. "yeah."

"right. then for closing-"

you crash your head into the table with an obnoxiously loud slam. wonwoo flinches in his seat. the librarian narrows her beady eyes on the both of you.

"i think we'll get an a for this," you mutter.

wonwoo looks at you, caps his pen, and leans back in his seat.

the debate goes well. everything happens as anticipated. you're able to uphold the integrity of academic investigation. whatever that means. wonwoo doesn't interrupt you. the nuances of your arguments are spared sufficient time before their expiration.

(he looks bored.)

but that all goes to hell when you realise the class gets to vote. you turn on wonwoo: did you know this?

he averts his eyes. a sure sign of guilt.

something gnaws inside of you, worse than that time when you found kimmy's concoction of green onions, dr pepper and baking soda. it was an infusion alright. but the smell left you retching for days on end.

the worst thing is, you don't know why you feel this way now.

you don't know who won. everything happened in a blur and now you're stomping out of the hallway, tugging the zip of your bag close. wonwoo catches up. you walk faster.

"well, congrats," he says.

"take your congratulations and shove it up your ass," you bite back.

wonwoo holds his hands up. "what's wrong?"

you swivel to a stop, fixing him with a shrivelling glare. "leave me alone."

wonwoo backs off. you turn the corner and run for class.

wonwoo [1225]: hey are you alright? wonwoo [1227]: what's wrong? wonwoo [1232]: is it something i did? wonwoo [1240]: ?? wonwoo [1255]: i'm sorry? - "you look like shit," is the first thing kimmy says to you. "is it wonwoo?"

you stab at her fishball. "no."

she rolls her eyes. "i didn't hear anything when i was walking over from the north wing, so something's up."

"nothing's up."

kimmy shakes her head, placing his chopsticks down. "when you come running to my class crying, i think something's up."

you scowl at her. she winks back. and then rearranges her face to something more sombre.

"did you guys..." she leans in. "break up?"

you swat at her. "what?"

chan slides into the seat next to her. "i've been summoned by the allusions to love."

kimmy shoves him. "just because you play love live doesn't mean shit."

to you, she says, "look. you have his number-"

"i have your number too."

she pinches your lips together. "shut up. you walk each other to the next class faithfully without fail-"

you swat her hand away. "that's because he's being a prick-"

"you have inside jokes that nobody else gets."

"that's the point of inside jokes."

kimmy squeezes your cheeks together this time. god, those hand grips are working. "when he's gone, people ask you where he is. after that debate, you came to me crying. and the best part is you let him steal your fries."

she releases her hold on you, allowing you the chance to breathe. and then immediately choke.

kimmy, satisfied, returns to eating.

"oh my god," you say, eyes wide. "oh."

"yeah," kimmy echoes, "oh."

the realisation does you no favours. "...he's off-limits. he's got a girlfriend."

chan finally detaches from his game. the whimsical sounds of squeaky little gems fade away as

he lets his character die. "what?"

"there was a girl in his room," you say.

kimmy rounds up on chan. "you never said anything."

"i didn't know!" chan protests, "i thought-"

he falls silent. you stuff your face with fries.

the rest of the week is horrible. you can't help but notice how wonwoo pulls out his phone, sighs, and replaces it in his pocket before shooting you looks. it sucks, really, to be so aware and want to not be.

before you can pack up and leave, though, wonwoo strides over with his freakishly long legs. "saturday night."

you look at the pamphlet he's offering you. slam night.

"please come," he says, exhaling slowly. "at least - consider it."

he leaves it in your hands, and bolts out of class.

you hate that you're considering it. you hate that you're already here. you hate that you're still hoping. there's no reading between the lines because everything is so blurred and reckless and there is no way out of this. so here you are, sitting at the side, going to this slam because you've gone to all the other slams anyway.

"hey, you're wonwoo's friend," a girl says.

you look up. it's the girl with the red lip. "yeah."

she smiles, sitting down gracefully next to you. "that idiot said he'd be slamming."

maybe you should have gone home. out of all you'd expected from this evening, you didn't think sitting with your crush's girlfriend is one of them.

"maybe he's trying to impress someone," she continues, winking at you. "my brother can be so thick."

before you can ask her what she means, the emcee starts to welcome everyone to the event. you sit patiently, trying not to bounce your knee when the epitome of grace is right beside you. the first few acts pass by without much enthusiasm. you shuffle in your seat.

and then wonwoo comes up. there's polite applause as he scans the darkened crowd. he pauses in your direction, and smiles. you turn to his sister(?). she spares you an undecipherable look.

"hello," he says into the microphone. "i'm wonwoo, and up till recently i was sceptical towards the fine art of slam poetry."

you snort.

he continues, "but i've been converted, maybe, to see the beauty of paying tribute to the ancient origins of poetry. i'm not a poet, but shakespeare is, and he's pretty ancient as far as i know.

"so here's sonnet 130."

#seventeen #seventeen imagines #wonwoo imagines #wonwoo x reader #wonwoo #jeon wonwoo #wonwoo scenarios

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evabellasworld · 3 years

Text

Death of Mandalore

Chapter 13

AO3 Link | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13

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Summary: After murdering Chancellor Palpatine of the Galactic Republic, Vanya Doyvesky joined leagues with both Death Watch and Darth Maul, hoping to reclaim her Mandalorian warrior heritage. But with broken promises and betrayal against Death Watch and Maul’s crime syndicate, the former Mandalorian Jedi had to choose the right path not only for her but for Clan Doyvesky as well.

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Linking arms with Korkie, Maria saluted her fellow guards as they paced through the corridors. With the security camera disabled earlier, she could only hold her head high and smile underneath her helmet as they headed to the corner of the prison, with dimmed lights and an emergency exit clamped firmly.

“Where are you taking me, Mar?” he quivered in fear, as he saw her pulling out a key from her utility belt. “Are you going to kill me?”

“For goodness sake, Korkie,” she shushed him, placing her finger on his thin lips. “Just shut up for a moment. Do you want us to get caught or something?”

“Of course not,” Korkie shook his head as he lowered his voice, his hands cuffed together. “But at least tell me where you’re taking me. I don’t like being kept in suspense. It makes me really nervous, you know.”

“And I don’t like people who talk too much,” Maria crossed her arms, giving him a death glare. “So you either shut the fuck up or I’ll throw you to the dogs. Do you want that, blondie?”

He cracked up for a moment, much to her annoyance. “But you have blonde hair too, Mar. Are you trying to insult yourself or something?”

“Well, your hair is blonder than mine,” she shrugged, trying not to choke on her own words. “And besides, you’re tall, blue-eyed, and an uncultured guy with the same skin colour as milk so technically, you earned the title of a blondie more than I do.”

“Fair enough,” he lifted his shoulders as Maria focused on unlocking the exits. “Besides, I don’t mind being thrown to the dogs anyways. I like dogs very much as compared to cats. They’re adorable and a loyal best friend.”

“Korkie, when I say I’ll throw you to the dogs, I meant feeding you to them,” Maria said with her clenched jaw, unlocking the emergency door. “Now hurry the fuck up before they noticed that something’s up.”

He nodded as he followed her out of the prison, observing the bright lights on Mandalore. He looked forward to nice weather, if only he gets to experience it outside the domed city. “So, how was life outside Mandalore anyways?” he initiated a conversation between him and his old friend. “I haven’t seen you since our graduation from the Academy together.”

“Well, things were fine,” she answered as she took off her helmet. “I celebrated my graduation like there was no tomorrow. I was drinking, partying, spraying those party strings at the trees and shit, you know. Good times, good times.”

“That’s very expected of you,” chuckled Korkie, noticing her dyed bluish-grey hair. “I like your hair, by the way. It fits you perfectly.”

“Thank you,” Maria accepted his sincere compliments. “It’s hard to dye your own hair but hey, it’s my best effort.”

“Well, you do you, Mar. Besides, I know how you’re always looking forward to finishing school just so that you can do whatever you wanted without being bossed around by Ms. Jeanette.”

She burst out laughing as she pressed her nose with her knuckle, only to realise that she was supposed to keep her mouth shut. “Oh, I remember Ms. Jeanette alright,” Maria cleared her throat. “She always tells me not to be a lazy bum whenever I forget to do her homework every single time.”

“Yeah, and not to mention that she makes you pull your own ears and squat in front of the class,” he reminded her schoolgirl memories. “All the excuses you would pull whenever Ms. Jeanette asked about your homework. It’s a classic, really.”

“There was a small fire in the kitchen yesterday and somehow, my datapad got burned by an accident,” she remembered the simpler times. “Also, there was a power outage and I couldn’t save all my homework on time. Those are the ones that I made up in front of Ms. Jeanette. I thought it was pretty funny, really.”

“It was, actually,” Korkie smiled. “We all had a good laugh back then, you know, when the only thing we have to worry about was our grades. But now, my biggest worry is for my aunt and our homeworld. I don’t even know whether she would make it, or whether Almec’s government would spare her, or worse.”

Maria looked down as her shoulder slumped, thinking about the orders that were given to her by Death Watch and Maul. She was merely doing her duty, meeting ends meet for her Mama and Papa, whom she never got to see even after taking over his aunt’s government. What will they say to me when they find my dirty laundry?

“Maria,” he called her name as he took her hands, dragging her closer to him. “Please let go of my Auntie Satine. She was the one who supported me through thick and thin throughout my whole school life. I have a family, you have a family, and I know that you didn’t choose to put my aunt in prison.”

“I know you well, Mar. You’re not a bad person. I know that you’re capable of doing the right thing, even if you know that it’ll get you in trouble,” he frowned, as he let go of her hands and turned away for a brief moment, before looking at her again. “Look, all I’m saying is that it’s not too late to turn back to the right path. If my aunt can change, then so can you and your sister.”

She blinked as she stared at him, tongue-tied. Nodding solemnly, Maria loaned her jetpack to Korkie. “I’ll do my best to help your aunt,” she said. “Besides, you’re going to need this more than I do anyways.”

“Well, see you soon, pal,” winked Korkie, as he gave a pat on her shoulder and left her behind, making her wrap herself with her own arms.

“Satine's accomplices have escaped, including the renegade Death Watch soldiers,” Almec informed Maul, who was seated on his throne. Katrina’s hands were clutched together as she and Vanya exchanged glances with each other, paying attention to the two leaders of Mandalore.

“But we will find them,” he reassured his master. “The duchess appears to have contacted the Jedi, just as anticipated.”

Vanya’s eyes widened as she felt her hands crawling in sweat, dreading the former organisation that were now in shambles due to her actions on Coruscant and the entire galaxy. Which Jedi did she contact? she wondered, taking a deep breath.

“Good,” Maul gleamed, crossing his legs. “You have done well.”

“What of the people?” asked Almec, as he turned to his aide.

“You are the legitimate prime minister,” he answered patiently. “Mandalore is a sovereign planet and you will maintain its neutrality.”

“And what of the Jedi?”

“Because of Mandalore's neutrality, the Jedi have no jurisdiction here. If Kenobi comes to rescue his friend, he will have to come alone.”

Oh my god, she felt her heart beating rapidly. He already lost Lira and Eva, I can’t break his already fragile heart. What is he going to say to me when he realises that I’m working with the person who killed Master Qui-Gon?

“I understand, master,” Almec bowed, along with Katrina. “If you excuse us, we have work to do.”

“Of course, prime minister,” Maul allowed them to leave, with the guards escorting them out of the throne room. Katrina walked along the corridors when she noticed her younger sister in the corner of the hallway, prompting her to clear her throat. “Prime Minister,” she addressed him. “I need to excuse myself for a moment.”

“Go ahead,” he accepted her permission. “Just make sure you make it back on time.”

She bobbed her head as she rushed to Maria, who was hiding beneath her own shadow. She noticed a small bruise on her eyes, making her sigh. “Let me guess, Korkie did this?”

“Nope,” Maria shook her head. “I gave myself a bruise just to let him escape.”

“Of course you did,” Katrina rolled her eyes. “You and Korkie go all the way back to kindergarten.”

“We’re not even a couple,” she lightly punched below her shoulder.

“I never said you were a couple,” teased the twenty-four years old woman, snickering. “Though I’m aware of your feelings towards him.”

“Shut the fuck up. At least I wasn’t rejected by a classmate of mine, unlike you.”

“Whatever,” Katrina groaned. “I already got over my feelings for them, okay?”

“Sure,” Maria brushed it off, before changing to another topic that she so desperately wanted to discuss. “Anyways, did Maul suspect anything about Korkie’s escape?”

She shook her head. “Nah, he’s only focused on the Jedi, so you’re safe for now.”

“Oh, thank goodness,” she sighed in relief. “I was so scared that he would have my head. Also, just your opinion, but do you really like working with Maul and Almec?”

“Honestly, I don’t,” confessed Katrina. “I don’t even know why we are here anyways when we should be at home with Mama and Papa, enjoying a freshly-made pizza from the pizzeria near our house.”

“Exactly, but too bad Vanya is stubborn as fuck,” admitted Maria, fanning herself. “How the hell are we going to convince her anyways?”

“Well, Maul is waiting for Kenobi to arrive so that he could rescue Satine,” she disclosed the information she heard in the throne room. “Maybe he could talk her out of Maul's league.”

“That's actually a great idea, Kat. I'm sure Vanya would listen to her best friend and take his word of advice.”

“Then it's settled,” Katrina clapped her hands. “Now if you excuse me, I'll be in my office.”

Maria gave an okay sign to her as she watched her leave, before shifting her focus on her comlink.

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imthebrettofthegroup-blog · 7 years

Text

I just want to start off by saying that this is probably something you wont read and will probably scroll past. I want one person and his friends (all of cc) to read this and know how much they have helped me.

I have had a horrible week even though it only just started.

It technically started last monday but the worst of it arrived yesterday.

Last week I had a surgery on my ear (I had a hole in my ear drum causing hearing loss)

After the surgery I woke up wearing this ugly stupid red headband that I could tell would get annoying.

People thought it was normal, fashionable until I said its from surgery.

First few days were fine, my sleeping schedule on the other hand not so great.

I slept all day and stayed up all night until I went back to school.

I tried to fix that but it got worse until I was awake for two whole days with 0 hours of sleep. Then the next day, the next, the next, until it got to the fifth day.

I have had 6 hours of sleep over the past 5 days. I googled insomnia because a few people said that I might have that.

Insomnia can occur from several things, those of mine would be depression and anxiety.

I am technically not a senior because I dont have enough credits to qualify in the state of Texas.

Thats already stressful. Comes the first day of school my teacher who has been helping me with my learning disabilities told me I would have to work my ass off to get those credits in only a few short months.

Professional communications, we must present a poem about color. I thought of my poem abd I thought it was great!

Red is the first color of the rainbow

Orange is an orange

Yellow as yellow as the banana bus

Green, well those are peas

Blue mens group and blues clues too!

Beautiful indigo night skies

Violet, now where is she?

The more you know

That was my poem.

Then I got scared and almost didn't present it but I did and the look the teacher had on her face made it clear, she didnt like it.

Those cause my stress.

My depression oh boy,

Being bullied because of what I look like. People staring and pointing at me before the laugh while going down the hall to our next class. Thats all im seeing. Judgement.

Boys. Oh lord, I told my crush how I felt. I wrote it on the notebook app on my phone.

I sent it to my two close friends so they can see it before I send it (all of us girls do that)

They told me to send it but I was honestly scared and kept thinking "he doesn't like you who are you kidding. You know whats gonna happen. Stop. Trying." But I sent it and was shaking because I was so scared. I have never been so honest to a guy like that before, its scary!

Being the mofo sweet thing he is he said he thought it was cute and sweet.

Since I didn't have the guts to ask him how he felt about that, I asked my friend Faith to ask him.

He thought it was sweet and cute that I was so up front and honest about how I felt towards him (those werent the exact words, I understood what he meant anyways." But then the next like read "but I dont like anyone at the moment."

That was not the response I was wanting.

He two of my friends felt bad and told me not to worry but all I said is that it has happened to me many times before and Im used to it by now. Truth is Im not.

This guy I like really is the nicest guys I know. He is in the cooler group of people unlike me yet he still listens and read my insanly long paragraphs of me venting, only to respond with something that will make me feel better. All these other guys at our school pretend to be nice at first and then unmask their true self. "Fuqbois" I honestly thought he wad going to be like that but he is still here helping me out today. He makes me laugh in class by being a doofus *no joke, actually pauses typing session to open his snapchat- and actually bringing Shelby, Samar, Faith and us closer together. Yeah it annoys me when he sends me selfies and not say anything or start a conversation and even when I try he just doesnt talk (heckin turd) but I mean hey, he still helps me.

I will admit I felt worthless and unwanted but my two friends, immediately started to message me telling me its okay and trying to cheer me up. It didnt work.

I couldnt talk to him, I was too embarrassed. I talked to my new friend Matthew and he was telling me his story about how he was nothing to what he is now, a huge fuckin ladies man, guys ask him how he did it. He really tried just as much as the girls did but it didnt work.

I talked to my friend L (I know your name Latrice, just want to hurry sorry boo). She immediately knew something wad wrong and tried to help. I decided I just wanted some time alone so I asked "when I get back, can you send me a bunch of pictures of my man Brett?" And she said she would.

I didnt really get any alone time as all my friends kept texting me but I didnt want them to know and start to worry. I only talked to a few of my older girlfriends (going back since 7th grade) Bailey and my other friend Dani (queen) and my friend who was also by my friend Sakib (he introudced me to bre my bitch ass dork), Kate and Sakib were always there when I needed someone or something. Since my freshman year. They graduated as class of 2017 at Central, leaving me and a bunch of us behind. Kate helped me feel better but we didnt talk much. Bre was acting like a mom, I said I was so embarrassed and she said it wasnt embarrassing. How is that not embarrassing? "Because I said so" she made me feel better a bit more.

Bailey, she said I should respect that about him and I agreed. I said I hated couples besides her and her boyfriend Cody.

Her- I wish Cody had friends, I would set you up

Me- me too WAIT OMG "I wish Cody had friends" THE SHADE IS FEELING NICE OVER HERE!

Dani, my beautiful Queen oh my goodness! You already went through a horrible loss today and I wasnt there for you like I should have. I told her I always mess things up and ruin everything. -again gets on snapchat because Erick the cuck asked me a quetion and I answered and then he like died or something, gets distracted amd realizes that Jakob from cc opened my message and then gets on instagram to tell L and let her know Im still writing this, remembers Jakob, freaks out again, looks at notifcations and sees that my famdog Matt (super awesome one I talked about) changed his profile picture so I go check it out realized I was supposed to be typing this and comes back here to remember I need to go to the conversation I had with Dani earlier to put her quote- "its just people who need to learn to see whats so great and its right in front of them." That made me feel better.

I go back to instagram and ask for the pictures of Brett. They instantly make me smile. I dm her because I can connect with her on a certain level with certain things, I tell her I sent a note to Jakob and that I hope he reads it. I took a screenshot and sent to L who said it was so sweet. While typing that letter to Jakob, I had realized the reason Im still here and who I am now than who I was just two weeks ago and I began to cry. I had just realized that Brett has made me smile so much and made me laugh and giggle. He may not know it but he saved my life. Im in a group chat with L and Sam. The chat is called the Slaughter Club. We had met from a post Sam had put up saying she wants to make a gc with a bunch of cc fans and just have an awesome time. Im so glad I hit that comment button and asked to be in the group. Over a day after, we realized I was the oldest, Sam being the youngest and we kinda let her choose lol. Brett is the older one of the group, I was called the Brett of sc. Trevor being the youngest of cc, Sam being the Trevor of sc, L, she chose Aleks. So Aleks of sc she was. They would get great pictures of the guy of cc and I never saw good ones so I asked where, they brought me here. Since being in this group chat and being the adult in certain situations (also weird fact, whenever Im not there, shit happens like idek. Same with Brett with cc.) Brett has inspired me in so many ways and I know I will never have the chance to ever in any way tell him, this is how Im telling him how he saved me. Really, all I want is that the Cow Chop crew read this and know how much they mean to me. I have a feeling that I know they will never see this (especially Brett) but Im going to put this out there in the hopes he will. Thats what I want from this. I know its all stupid but the CC crew really have brought together an amazing group of friends who I love so much and want to thank for always being there. Thank you. -Caroline Hope Powell

#brett hundar #hundar #cow chop #modest cube #aleksandra zaryanova #alsojakob #please reblog #thank you #saved

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liminalchasm · 7 years

Text

so i imagine the culture around junkertown mech battles is like a combination local roller derby league, wrestling, and battle bots

mechs are set up with teams, and teams are ranked by weight/skill so they're evenly matched. there are some regional teams, but mostly it's just based on your personality and who you're friends with. there's some genuine rivalry and drama, but it's based mostly on 'so-and-so switched teams' or 'x team is doing dubious stuff to lower their weight class' but there is an element of wrestling in there, with teams who play with hype and characters and face/heel stuff

sabotage is very rare because if you get caught you get ejected from the league for good. if your mech aims for the other mechs pilot, that's a penalty and it might lose you the match. battles get rowdy and they're very physical, but you're not trying to kill or maim the other guy. you're trying to disable his bot, with as much style as possible.

some are brawlers who try to hit the other guys mech with enough force to break a crucial joint or dislodge something. some have spikes to try to puncture the hydraulics. (there are rules about how big your spikes can be, though, for pilot safety.) some try to disorient a pilot and get him to crunch his joints maneuvering, some go for the legs. most mechs can't get back up if they trip. turtlebots won't win you many fans, though, unless you can make it interesting. but it's a dangerous sport, and pilots get a lot of respect for putting their lives on the line.

fire is allowed, but subject to the 'no going for the pilot' rule, so it's not used often. fireworks are more common, and mostly for distraction & celebration. unless you have very low lying flamethrowers to try to melt the legs, (which must use oxygen-hydrogen and create a very small jet of high heat) it's not feasible. and even then it's considered bad form to turn large parts of the enemy mech totally useless. that's a heel move.

(there was one very well insulated mech that always entered the arena covered in cloth, and burned it away with its own low heat flamethrowers. it was a very popular team and one of the few to retire rather than being scrapped in a fight or taken apart. its shell currently sits outside the arena in it's signature post, welcoming people in. the team are still kind of local heroes)

battle are more like big parties than a pro sporting event though. theres usually dancing / partying in the mech arena at half time and after the fight is over (once the debris is clear). battles usually start at sunset or a little later, they aren't dealing with the heat. the party goes into the night. (i bet theyve got fucking awesome live bands)

people buy/trade merch to support their favorite teams, and some sponsor them in other ways. battles are free to watch for all, though.

and as with something like roller derby, there are minor leagues at the arena too. those usually aren't battles, they have other games that people compete to design mechs for. like puzzles that need to be solved. occasionally they bring in a hollowed out bastion shell and build mechs to beat the crap out of it. stuff that's safe for beginners or kids.

there are also classes for people who want to learn the technical skills. anyone can build a mech if they have the skills and resources and a team. classes are open to everyone, although it's bring your own supplies. most people don't end up going all the way, but a lot of people in junkertown end up with robotics and electrical knowledge, either from classes or from watching so many fights and seeing how they work. which is really really useful for a town of survivalists.

#it's another 10 paragraphs i'm sorry again

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broke-bitch-mountain · 7 years

Text

Red Scales, Blue Eyes

Guess who’s back.

Back again

Nomi’s back

Tell a friend

@littleduckbigquack Three weeks overdue but here’s the update!!! Its a little longer as an apology but I was trying to get more of Keith’s world pinned down but tbh Lance is alot easier so I’m working on Keith’s parts (they are coming I promise!) But this is more Lance centric. ALSO! Before the discourse over the name starts! I decided to go with McClain for Lance because it is a common and easily recognized name in the fandom and once his real name is canonized I will happily change it. Anyway, here you guys go! See mistakes? Please let me know!

Ten minuets later, Keith popped up behind Lance, effectively scaring the other teen into a splashing fit. Several gestures of apology later, Keith finally held up the bag he had filled with his small treasures from his home for Lance to glance through. Carefully, Lance pulled out each of the small objects for inspection, giving Keith a weird looked when he grabbed the sparkly doll. He held up the shell against the setting sun with a focused gaze set firm on his face. The blue shell was opaque against the orange glow and held gentle wave of blue at the bottom from the ocean’s reflection on the bottom. It almost looked like a small aura of light surrounded it, however Keith assumed it was because it was finally seeing daylight again after living in his small house for so long.

The shell, Keith remembered, has been one of his oldest treasures. It had been with him for as long as he could remember. He remembers a dream of a woman in purple and red with that shell around her neck. There are others in the room who are sad but Keith doesn’t know why. The dream isn’t really that sad, it’s just the woman who smiles at him like he’s everything she’s ever wanted and then she sleeps.

That’s all Keith knows her to be doing.

He likes to imagine that it’s his mother. His grandfather, Alfor hadn’t been too forthcoming on the details of his first child’s death, or the sudden disappearance shortly after of his second. He believed that those topics where too depressing and held no place in the palace walls. So Keith was never allowed to ask questions about them, and his father was out of the question. It never really bothered Keith until now, seeing what he has always on some level believed was his mother’s legacy being held up by a human that might take it away from him.

Keith pushed the shell into the human’s chest. Nobody would risk their lives for a necklace that didn’t hold an equal value. This was a fair trade.

Lance looked the mermaid directly in the eye as the shell was shoved towards him. The shape seemed to ring a bell at the back of his head but whatever memory it was triggering was too far away to fully pull up. He glanced down at the shell again and back up to the creature who had saved his life. Who then pressed to Lance’s chest, again.

“For me?” Lance asked pointing at himself.

The creature nodded and let go of the shell.

Lance looked down at the shell again, cradling it in his palm. Between the ears had been carved out like it was supposed to be on a string. Lance made a mental note to find a new chain or something so he can wear it. It would make a nice replacement for the cross that the ocean had claimed for its own. So Lance smiled towards the mermaid, a full toothy Lance grin and clutched the shell towards his chest. When his eyes opened, the mermaid was a considerable distance away, giving him a small wave before diving back into the deep ocean. Lance looked one last time at the shell, already excited to show Hunk and Pidge…

Shit.

Lance swam like a madman towards the shore and scrabbled to his dorm down the street. They were going to kill him.

Keith now understood why being spotted by a human was illegal. The smile that the human had sent his way before he left was an infectious one that was brighter than the sunset behind him. The light casting small sparkles off his face from the water droplets sliding down his face and framing his perfect teeth. It was a shame his eyes were shut, Keith is sure those would have been sparkling too. He was sure that not all human’s where like him but, there were probably enough though, to ruin their entire society.

Especially if they all have a smile like that.

It was that thought that made Keith immediately distance himself. He may not be welcomed in his society but he didn’t want more reason for his death. He may be stressed in trying to live but at least he was getting by. There was a heavy weight in his heart when Keith considered that he was not going to be able to see the boy again. He hadn’t even gotten his real name. Pretty boy seemed fitting enough though, so that is what Keith decided to call him.

He needed to get back home. He needed to go to bed and get ready for another day. He needed to talk to Shiro about getting a needle and he needed to tend to his garden. He found himself back at the cave’s mouth and searching the sand. The chain was broken, pieces of it scattered and casting off a faint light across the entrance. Caught on one of the rocks in the middle of the side wall was the necklace Pretty boy came back for. A treasure with a memory attached, this one was special.

Quietly, Keith swam back to his home. Almost reluctant to leave the warmth of the surface, almost. By the time that he was moving the rock into his home the stars where out bringing a chill into the ocean depths. Keith, against all better judgment, left the entrance opened to watch the stars and wonder if Pretty boy was looking at them too.

“How many times do I have to apologize?” Lance pleaded with Pidge when she was packing up at midnight. His sudden arrival back at his shared dorm was met with Hunk making ‘study snacks’ to stave off the full blown panic attack at the idea that Lance was dead while Pidge paced the length of the room so often that Lance swore there was a rut in the carpet. There was a definite mix in review when he entered the small kitchen area that prefaced the two by one apartment like space that Hunk and him split between each other while the kitchen was shared by everyone on their floor. Pidge ended up pummeling him in punches and terms of endearment such as “you idiot” and “freaky fish-land boy” while Hunk just hug him from behind.

“Jeeze guys, I told you I wasn’t going to drown out there.” Lance had defended, which brought on a few harder hits from Pidge and a suffocating bear hug from Hunk.

“You were gone for nearly an hour, Lance.” Hunk informed him. “And I love your mom but I don’t think that she’d forgive me for letting you drown, that woman is not a woman I want to piss off.”

“Yeah, I’m pretty sure she’d bring me back just to kill me again.” Lance laughed. Then, with most of her energy spent on Lance’s now black and blue ribs, Pidge sat them down and started with their massive cram for their finals.

The three were part of a special program called the Galaxy Garrison. The Garrison in general was a school that provided technical training to those who wished to serve in the military but, due to individual preference or disability, did not want to be on the battle field. The Galaxy Garrison specifically trained those who wanted to explore the vastness of space to some degree.

Hunk was an engineer and was learning how to design, build and repair ships, bases, pods and all other fun toys that transport people or goods in the vacuumed ecosystem. He believed it was his little piece of the big picture since he didn’t have the stomach for piloting an actual space craft and, while he was smart enough to go into the more sciencey parts of the program, he felt accomplished at the end of the day with a physical machine that could save lives or even progress the human race.

Pidge was following her brother’s footstep under the tutelage of her father, Professor Holt, and was perusing whatever classes she needed to be approved to go into space and perform experiments on whatever she could find. She had often dreamed of being a pilot and took a few of those classes too, “What happens if my pilot gets knocked unconscious Lance? I don’t want to die because they couldn’t pilot.” And while she had a decent grip on the designs and such it was more so that she could figure out how to fix it in an emergency situation. Her thirst was in knowledge and that meant the technical sciences was her home.

Lance had been dead set on being a pilot since he was a little kid. He may not have been the smartest kid in the bunch but he knew his way around what he needed to in order to pass and was by no means stupid. His enrollment in the program eliminated that possibility right out. They don’t accept people who excel in just one area of the program (or fail too horribly in one either) and make sure that each of their people have a general grip on every aspect in case of emergency. Lance wanted to be a pilot because his mother was from Cuba and on vacations they would go there and enjoy the beach with her side of the family. His grandfather would tell him stories about all the places he had gone to during the war, specifically about the nights. He whispered to Lance from a young age about all the places he had been sent with the Allies and all the stars he saw on the way. He always volunteered for the watch shifts in the middle of the night so he could watch the stars and just think. There was too much noise between gunshots and any kind of thought could lead to another dead corpse. At night though, with his senses on overdrive listening for anyone who shouldn’t be there, he would think about whatever his brain brought to his attention.

He contemplated the interworkings of the war in general. The idiocracy of man when they tore each other down and the greed that came with power; but also the desperation that came with wanting to survive. Survival was a thing he thought about a lot, Lance discovered years later when he was able to read some of the scraps of paper the man had scribbled a few thoughts onto when it was available and from what his grandmother had echoed from the early days of their marriage shortly after the war had ended. He had often looked up at the sky and even imagined the true value of his life and what meaning it could possibly have when so much death and destruction surrounded him.

Then dawn would come, and he’d see the beginning of a new day that forced him to cast the idea of quitting into the last remnants of the night. The stars, where always the ones that he whispered his deepest thoughts too, though; even if Cuba was not the best place to see them. “Reach for the stars,” was his favorite saying and Lance simply took it literally. The drowning incident that sparked his love affair with mermaids happened around eight and for a brief time his heart wondered to a career based in the water for a chance to meet whatever (the mermaid) that had saved him. When his grandfather died a little over two years later, though, Lance promised him that he would never stop reaching for the stars. At the funeral Lance decided he would name one after him too.

Tomorrow was just another obstacle in the way of that goal. Pidge and Hunk were good at helping Lance pace himself when he’s studying, though he has gotten better on his own. After this test came a summer break and then Lance would enter his final year before he could start applying for missions. Very few people actually went up beyond the atmosphere but Lance had been working his ass off to be the very best. However, like most people, he had his own shortcomings that ended him in the top three. He was constantly improving though and this time he would be the highest score in the simulator.

“Try anywhere from a thousand more to never stop.” Pidge yawned. “Good luck on your test tomorrow and may I suggest a shower? You reek of saltwater.”

“You too, Pidge!” Hunk walked her to the door, “Are we still on for survival lunch?”

“Of course, it’s going to be the only thing keeping me out of prison. After all this work I’ll be willing to kill for one of your mint cakes.” She smiled, then headed for her dorm down the hall.

Hunk stretched and looked at Lance who was still packing his supplies into his bag. “So what took you so long? Did you see a cute girl or something?”

“I am offended,” Lance gawked, “the nerve, that I, Lance McClain, would leave my two best friends believing that I was dead, for a pretty face?”

“So what’s her name?” Hunk pressed with a grin.

And from here Lance is more than happy to fling his bag over his shoulder and head to his room to enjoy the shower Pidge had suggested as well as his normal wind down routine. Granted, it would be at a much faster pace than he would like, he had his first final at ten and he likes to take his time to wake up so he’d need to be up by eight thirty at the absolute latest. Losing the necklace today was enough he didn’t need his self care regime interrupted to throw him even further off.

The thought of his necklace brought his attention to his hand, which was wrapped gently around the shell the mermaid had given him.

Hunk was half right, which prompted Lance’s feet to move even faster. The mermaid was a pretty picture, though Lance is half convinced that might be because of the mermaid part. It was easy to brush Hunk’s request aside, he didn’t get a name but he had been mulling over what to call him. Calling him ‘The Mermaid’ seemed too impersonal for having been the moment to confirm all his life long fantasies. But he couldn’t think of a name that was meaningful enough to take its place. So instead, he settled for picking a nickname. Though all Lance had to go off was his physique and fishfingers or scales seemed more like pet names than anything else.

Lance mulled it over while he went through his routine, trying a varity of different nicknames, a few highlights included: Mullet, fishy fishy (but only if it was said the same voice as the McDonald’s commercial) and Red.

Red….

As Lance drifted to sleep, Red seemed like the best out of the bunch. Short, sweet, simple and it was the color of his tail so maybe that was a clue to some level of personality.

Red…

Yeah…that felt fitting.

#red scales blue eyes #tinylittlesmallant #Nomi narrates

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postmodernmulticoloredcloak · 7 years

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Time, space, body, and writing: power and care

Hey @mittensmorgul and everyone else, we need to talk about the theme of time in this season - I think it’s one of the biggest themes that have been brought along during the season so far, and in First Blood, imo, it has become even more evident.

There’s the obvious past/present dynamic in regards to Mary, her life with John and her past as a hunter, Dean’s memories of her (and hey, we’re going to have an entire episode on the time of Dean’s memories... at least two episodes about Cas’ past, and possibly his memories of it specifically...) and in general the entire theme of the perception of the past vs reality of the present (reality/perception being one of the biggest themes that course though the entire show since the beginning, but the theme has had a shift: we started with Sam’s visions of the future, now we have gotten to the theme of one’s perception of the past, but I guess this could be matter for another post).

But we also have a subtler way time features in the season, less about the past and more about the present-future: we have Mary saying she needs time when she decides to be on her own, Sam saying families sometimes do better after some time apart when he’s discussing it with Dean, agent Camp (the older prison guy in First Blood, I had to look his name up, I missed it in the episode lol) saying that it’s a matter of time before Dean and Sam will crack with the isolation, Dean keeping track of time with the incisions on the wall to count the passing of the days...

Speaking of the incisions, I think it’s relevant that Sam is seen coping through physical exercise, i.e. relying on body, while Dean does that though the keeping track of the days, i.e. relying on time. I believe Dean probably did some exercise during those six months or there’s no way he could do what he did after escaping if he went six months without any physical activity lol, but the show chooses to show Sam doing it, while Dean is shown making the incisions on the wall, and I believe that’s relevant. In fact, Dean is also shown shaving, which is also a way of coping connected to taking care of the body - in this case, appearance, which fits in the long theme of mirrors (also something to be talked about, as the mirror in the cell was very crappy and deformed the reflected image...).

So they use body and time in order to deal with being enclosed in such a small space. Space is also a thing in this season; I wrote something (or planned to? who knows at this point) about Mary saying she needs time and later Dean using the word space instead; Magda’s story was about being confined in a hidden space, the body of the ghost in The Foundry was hidden in an enclosed space inside the house... and of course the prison story, which is all about space, with the spacial confinement and the importance of the location of the prison itself.

Body, time and space are the dimensions studied by Michel Foucault in regards to the dynamics of power that take shape through the details - what he calls microphysics of power. To keep it short and simple, how do schools, prisons, hospitals etc work? Through a series of apparently small dispositions in the organization of time and space and the management of the bodies of the people in there. Your body is kept enclosed in a very defined space (the school desk, the cell, the hospital room) and your time is precisely organized (classes, management of activities in a prison, schedule of exams and tests in a hospital). All of these things seem innocent enough, but together they create a system that places you inside a huge mechanism that wields power over you.

It’s not just about institutions; the way all the spaces around us, the way our time is articulated, pretty much everything about our bodies (as feminist, queer, disabled theories well explain) conveys some kind of power dynamic. It’s not a coincidence that marginalized groups have a long (and not over) history related to institutions like hospitals, psychiatric institutions, and prisons (the lines between which are not always so clear, because a lot of principles behind their functioning are the same) in addition to discrimination and issues in the school system: modern Western society has invented those institutions as mechanisms of power through normalization: schools teach the same things to everyone, hospitals cure you so you become healthy - aka “normal” again, prisons are for criminals, aka people who are not normal (what’s criminal in modern Western society? ...yeah.)

And the normal, of course is also one of the biggest themes of the entire show, together with its twin concept, the natural. But I don’t want to digress too much.

Ah, I should probably mention that Michel Foucault was a gay man. (It probably doesn’t come as much as a surprise, right?) He was extremely politically active on a lot of the fronts of the social fights of the 70s, from psychiatry to racism, and his work contributed to push towards reformations in fields like the prison system. His work is still influencing feminist theories, queer theories, and a lot of other fields, and it keeps being a fertile ground for new developments!

I’m not saying Dabb has Foucault’s philosophy in mind, but I’m not saying he doesn’t.

(In case you’re wondering, Foucault caught AIDS while frequenting BDSM bathhouses in San Francisco and passed away in 1984. He had a very good time, though.)

This post got a lot longer than intended. Actually I didn’t even mean to talk about Foucault when I started. What happened.

Anyway. Let’s get back to Supernatural, kind of.

The hold of the power dynamics of society is strong and we can’t think of just get free of them with a snap of our fingers, but Foucault proposes strategies to get a little free of it as individuals (I’m not explaining it very well but I’m starting to run out of brainpower sorry).

Basically, what Foucault proposes as a strategy against society’s crap is what he calls care, i.e. a work for the improvement of the self - it’s a complex topic and if someone is interested I could elaborate on it some other time, but the aspect of this theme in Foucault that I believe is most interesting for this kind of analysis is the important Foucault places on writing as a technique for the care of the self.

Of course writing is one of the big themes of the show. Chuck/God as a writer, Supernatural books, tablets, Metatron’s new scripts... we know how the thing goes. Now, this season has placed much focus on the written work of the Winchester family par excellence, John’s journal, the word of the “god” of the family, the ripping of whose “script” (his conditioning) is pretty much Dean’s story in the show (with a side of Sam’s but for different reasons, c’mon we know what Dean’s story is about).

And now we’ve had a new character coded in a way that connects him to Metatron as “script writer”. Mick’s “let me paint a picture” speech is directed in the same way as Metatron’s “what gives the story meaning” speech (both technically speeches to a character but framed as a speech to the audience in a super hyper meta operation), and of course they both use a typewriter.

So we can deduce that Dabb has also placed his own stand-in character in the show, after Kripke’s God and Carver’s Metatron (with Robbie Thompson’s masterful contribution especially in connecting Carver’s narrative with Kripke’s God). It sure is soon to see how exactly Mick will work as the current showrunner’s meta character, but I am pretty sure 12x09 establishes him as it (him or the administrative/strategist/theoretical side of the British Men of Letters in general, i.e. the people who write - literally or in the sense of giving directions and establishing principles and lines of conduct). It’s likely that in this case Dabb’s stand-in will be some sort of anti-author, but again it’s too soon to make statements.

So, back to Foucault, writing as care, i.e. improvement of the self with the objective of happiness, i.e. creating sense/meaning. Supernatural’s meta undercurrent has been about meaning - Metatron’s experiments with storytelling, the author’s approval of transformative work in Fan Fiction, the confrontation between Chuck and Metatron. John’s journal has also been about meaning, the meaning of Dean’s self, Sam’s self, now Mary’s self (and of course their selves in relation to one another, because self is constructed via interpersonal dynamics). The apocalypse has been about Team Free Will rejecting a pre-made meaning that others wanted to impose on them; the tablets have all been smashed (by Cas, the character that maybe more than anyone has been looking for a sense of self). Hell, every piece of writing has been important, from Dean’s farewell letter when he planned to say yes to Michael to his note to Sam after becoming a demon... and recently even texts, with emphasis on the fact that Cas has learnt making them last season, and now Mary has. Writing is a theme we should also think about.

This post has probably gotten long enough and it’s almost midnight so I’ll just finish it by suggesting to collectively look into this themes; power (and resistance - power and resistance are two sides of the same coin, one isn’t without the other and one is where the other is) through the management of body, time and space, and resistance in the form of care (as seeking of sense/meaning) through writing.

#my spn thoughts #spn meta #season 12 #foucault #time #space #body #care #writing #spn

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kqnsc5yt-blog · 5 years

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tresswann · 6 years

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July marks several anniversaries for me.

July 3, 2000 found me starting a new job at the omnipotent megalith hereafter known as The Bank. I have told this story in a blog before. Whilst I was in orientation with the HR person, I was informed there was no early leave at The Bank. My initial thought was , “Why are they talking about retirement when this is my first day?” I found out that since July 4 was a holiday, I could not leave early. Really? My manager sent me home at half past two o’clock. My plan was to stay a year. I live outside of NYC but NYC is my place to work. Unfortunately, most people have a bad sense of both geography and commutation. It takes me less time to get into the City than people who live in the other boroughs. I needed a year back in to quash the naysayers. Overall, I was there more or less for 15 years! My mother used to say, “Do two, maybe three, strive for five.” My parents were totally anti-corporate which also means no pension, no benefits. I started. I hated it. I tried to get another job immediately. The Bank had surveillance cameras throughout its offices. No one knew if they really worked. I am sure they must have as literally hundreds of millions of cash and checks passed through there daily. When I first started there people could actually make cash deposits. I remember seeing a 25 million dollar check being casually processed. Back to the cameras. So, every morning I would look up at a camera and carefully enunciate. “I hate working here.” No luck. I went on a business trip to California with my manager and his manager. I am a technical trainer so I was training the staff on how to use technology that did everything a real teller in a bank could. Due to space limitations, the managers had to be in the room with me. They loved my approach. In a last ditch effort, I told the senior manager that most days I felt like a square peg in a round hole. He told me he felt the same way. So, instead of becoming my ticket out, it became my ticket in.

2001 arrived and I made ready to move on. September 11 happened. And here are parts of the reason I never liked The Bank. NYC on September 11 was an odd place to be . I was in Midtown but no knew what was really happening. People started leaving. The Bank’s policy was to never expense employee meals unless travelling. Even then they had a global policy of $45 daily for everything if you w ere travelling. By the afternoon, one of the managers said he would buy pizza for everyone still there in our department. He was admonished and advised he would not be reimbursed. I ventured back into NYC on the 13th. I had been due to teach a class on loans. I felt that needed to be placed on hold as people adjusted to our changing world. I went to the floor where the students sat. It was just past 9 A.M. And the first day back in Midtown for many of us. You could have heard a pin drop as people sat at their desks, heads down, working furiously. I still refused to teach the class.

I worked in the IT area and was hired specifically for my non-techie self. Someone there told me I would like “The Big Bang”. It’s because some of the people were just like that. Despite all this, I stayed even after my group was let go. I was brought back as a consultant for another 11 years. It worked. I was mostly on my own. Despite the lack of benefits, I made nice money. Almost too much money as it were because it was difficult to get something similar. I worked alternate hours 7:30 – 4:00 or 4:30. Eventually, I worked 7:30 – 3:30 but I was always available before and after hours. In fact, due to my West Coast following, I took calls and emails till 9:30 or so. I also worked remotely on Fridays as commuting became dangerous for me. I also worked remotely in bad or hot weather. This was the job where my mobility began to give out. My standard line (feel free to use as you see fit) was, “It’s not contagious. It’s not cancer. It’s not terminal. And, there is nothing wrong with my brain.” For the OMG! OMG What happened to you crowd, I would laugh. “I am just falling apart.”

It all ended badly. My reasonable accommodation was removed. I was made a truly insulting offer to become an employee which was totally unacceptable.

I struggled to find work. I was a woman of a certain age who had been at a company too long and walked with a cane and the spectral leg aka brace. Hey, my canes were seasonal and pretty. I finally found another position more than a year later. Enormous pay cut and more responsibility and work. So, this represents another July anniversary. On July 14 last year, Bastille Day, Liberte, Egalite, Fraternite,; I walked out. I could still do that. I had the misfortune to work for a mean girl from high school. I loved the company and the people. It hurts. I had more personal interactions there in 5 months than I had in the 15 at the Bank. People miss me both places.

My feeling, rational or not, is that losing these two positions has severely impacted my health. And I hate the phrase, “losing a job”. I know where it is. It’s not lost. At the Bank, I walked 10,000 easily and often. The building was a city block and I walked to Grand Central , walked through Times Square Station and then Penn. The next job had much less walking but phenomenal people.

So, this week I am marking a year without working. I have become officially disabled and un officially retired. This is so not what I wanted or envisioned. It’s hard. I miss getting dressed – clothing is my life. I miss people. I have been demoted to a walker. It hurts me to look at it.

All losses are relative. July was bad before the Bank. If you have read me before, you know I have left a swath of dead boyfriends and other lovers behind me. Bobby was one of my favorites. Once, I was asked in therapy, of all the guys I had been involved with, who would I have liked to marry. Immediate answer – Bobby! Uh, a small problem, bisexual? Well, he left me for a man. But… But we went to the same school and bore similar scars; we liked to cook and eat out; we loved to shop; we loved Dylan’s Black Diamond Bay; we walked in Washington Square on warm evenings; we loved to go to the movies and theater. Big missed hint and clue: We saw American Gigolo three times and we had to get tickets to Bent. He died of AIDS before his 30th birthday which was July 7. It’s hard to imagine that he’s been gone longer than he was here. I wasn’t allowed to go to the funeral as his parents blamed me for his death. He used to tell me if he ever married me, it would kill his parents.

July 7 also marks the day my childhood friend, Julie died. Again, way young. She died around 40. She was real and funny and loyal. You always knew where you stood with her. She arranged for her father to take the photos for my first wedding because I hate those forced, frozen, fixed photos. Her husband had diabetes. She used to tell him, “Chuckles, I am going to dance on your grave when you die ’cause you didn’t take care of yourself.” Ovarian cancer.

So, to put it in perspective, what’s the big deal with not being able to walk. How can I possibly measure not working against not living? Well, it’s my pity party and no one else is invited. Mourning is mourning. Respect for all deaths and departures. And then? Then there is summer and its warmth.

Anniversaries and Losses July marks several anniversaries for me. July 3, 2000 found me starting a new job at the omnipotent megalith hereafter known as The Bank.

#career #Disability #mobility #mourning #multiple sclerosis #relationships #unemployment

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iannoyinglysweetstudent-blog · 6 years

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what the average car insurance cost

"what the average car insurance cost

what the average car insurance cost

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