Me engaging with any media: Remember, we don't have to assign agere dynamics to any of the characters this time! Regression doesn't apply to every character in existence, because that would be silly, wouldn't it? Yes, I can be so normal about this new thing and not act like the silly creature that I am.

Me 0.3 seconds after being introduced to the characters: And I will be taking care of you my precious little darling, forever and always,,,

Goth Gf Anon🤙

Alright, alright, alright. Since that Tech piece was fucking phenomenal a d you said you don't get any thots of your faves, I'll lend one of my Fives thots.

So, it's the end of the war, Chancellor Palpatine had been exposed for his plot against the Jedi and executed for treason. The Republic and Seperatists made peace treaties upon realizing they were played on both sides. The war is over, Fives is a war hero, a statue in front of the Jedi Temple in his honor. But he could care less when you're smiling at him, tears in your eyes with the proudest glow on your face.

The Clone production on Kamino is halted, leaving the troopers, cadets and infants in a limbo. The Senate passes a bill allowing the Clones unalienable rights, passing adoption bills allowing civilians to adopt baby clones as their own. The Jedi also demand each and every clone has their chips removed. Scientists are working on a serum to slow their aging process down back to normal.

Fives rejoiced in victory, finally happy that the war was over and his brothers were treated as humans. But you.

He was over the fucking moons that he could be with you, not a war, battles or campaigns to keep you apart.

He marries you within the week of the marriage bill being passed.

You move to Naboo, Anakin had left the Jedi Order and started a home with Padmé and his twins, they visit you often, dropping off Luke and Leia when they're off on Senate business or off doing young couple things.

Fives loves seeing you with the twins, there's just something so domestic about it. When he sees you take care of them, make them giggle, feed them. And when the Skywalkers come back and praise you for taking such good care of their babies... it stirs something primal in his gut.

You two are intimate one night-- like many after you married. He's crawling up on his peak, he's right there, his brain switches off, spit firing shit as his thrusts start to stutter like the words rolling from his tongue, thick as honey.

"Y-you-- you looked so good with those-- shit!-- those fuckin' kids!"

"Wanna make you! Fuck, baby-- I'm g-gonna m-make you a fucking mother-- oh shit!"

"Gonna fuck a baby into you, sweetheart!"

And you're thinking: "What a pleasant turn of events."

Then you just start fucking feeding him.

"Yes, yes, yes, Fives! Anything you want! We'll fucking grow old together!"

You moan, "Put a fucking baby in me, cum deep."

And he can't hold it anymore, an inhuman sound ripped out of his chest and tearing through his throat as he slams into you one more time, his spend shooting deep. 11/10 best orgasm he's had.

Afterwards, you both talk it out. You've always thought about starting a family with him, thinking about how good of a father he would be considering the way he always looked out for his brothers. Fives explains himself a little more clearer after the fact, and you decide you'll go to the med center to get your contraceptive implant removed the next time it has to be replaced. You've decided you wanted to start a family with him.

Apologies if this was lackluster, I don't usually write smut lines lol.

Ciao ;)

!!!HOLY OMTHER OF GOD

I...I- don't even know how to respond to this. it’s late I KNOW but I’ve been trying to come up with a worthy reply. 

whyyyyy did I start fucking tearing up when going through each word in the first half WHY this is so beautiful and Fives deserves so much more and I love him. this is perfect, you are perfect. when he starts blurting out his desires "Wanna make you! Fuck, baby-- I'm g-gonna m-make you a fucking mother-- oh shit!" I- uh- yeah. that sent me. "What a pleasant turn of events" LMAO. ME. please write this as a fic. lackluster? mmmm no not even close. I love this

But seriously, how do I even add anymore to this already perfect droplet of heaven you so graciously placed in my inbox. tbh though, my gutter brain immediately wants to analyze how that night goes:

(18+ only!!! fluff, breeding kink, unprotected piv) 

***

you were blissfully unaware of the way Fives gawked at you earlier today - how he watched you with so much love and adoration in his eyes as you giggled with Luke and cradled Leia to sleep

It didn’t feel appropriate, but he couldn’t help but get hard at the vision playing out in front of him - wholesome domesticity, soft giggles, and hushed coos filled his very own living room and he just needed to step away to take care of his painfully hard and aching erection      

Fives can't help it - up until recently he was sure on having a dark fate, one that either involved being killed on the front, or worse: never being able to truly make you his because of his sole duty to fight for the Republic just would not allow such a peaceful and perfect life - it would hurt you more than he would care to live through

He didn’t realize just how badly he wanted the twins to be his - living, breathing, beautiful humans that you and him had created out of love, and, well, good fucking sex

So Fives came back from the bathroom after tugging himself raw - trying to alleviate that wanting ache that’d been sitting heavy deep in his bones and showing its face in the form of starving arousal - and the Skywalker’s had returned from Coruscant to pick up their babies

Fives hadn’t turned the corner yet - the soft voices coming from the three of you, keeping quiet while the twins were finally asleep, stopped him in his tracks. He heard the way Padmé praised you and thanked you over and over for always watching the kids, and Anakin cooing in the sweetest voice Fives had ever heard his former General speak in right at his own sleeping babies.

Your own voice was extremely soft and kind, careful as to not wake the twins up in the hand-over. Fives’ heart - and cock - were aching.

That's what Fives is thinking of as he’s pounding you into the next system - watching with hungry eyes at how your pussy so beautifully swallows his cock, yet he can't help but be slightly distracted when all these thoughts about filling you full with his seed are stemming from how motherly and breathtaking you looked when interacting with the Skywalker twins - how you always look when you’re watching them

You’re both so close to finishing - Fives groans at the way your walls squeeze unforgivingly around him as you approach your climax - a sight that is most devine to him. He’s right there as well - the relentless clenching of your cunt sure as hell pushes him right there to where he’s about to-

“Y-you looked so good with the - mmph - the twins" he doesn’t even realize he’d just voiced his thoughts aloud - albeit, in the form of a growl - until he sees how your eyes widen after struggling to come down from your first high 

He’s no where near embarrassed - perhaps it was finally fucking time to let you know just how painfully hard you make him when you’re all motherly and in caretaker mode 

The way your features morph from being caught in surprise to desperation and hunger completely takes the filter off of him - and he begins voicing his plans for the two of you in the heat of the moment

“Wanna - aghh- fuck a b-aby into this sweet p-pussy” his teeth are clenched tightly together as he continuously hits that exquisite spot so deep within your heat and your head is positively spinning at his shameless confessions - fuck, you want him to make good on his word. 

“Fuck... you’re nearly ch-oking my cock, pretty thing,” he grits out between heavy pants. “You want me to, hm? Wanna let me - mmphh -  fill you so f-fucking deep that you swell with my child?”

Your body is on fucking fire - you’ve never heard Fives speak of this before, and boy oh boy it is 100% welcome right about now. Yes, yes you want that so, so bad but you never thought to bring it up before because everything was still new with how the galaxy has changed for the better... but right now - you’re going to fucking feed him so he can have the best orgasm he’s ever had

“Yes, love, please,” you’re whimpering those three words like a prayer over and over between loud, uncontrollable moans - completely taken by him and the way he looks so gorgeous in this determined and concentrative state. “Shit, fill me up with our child,” you punctuate your mewling request with the repetition of his name - you’re hitting your climax again but this one is about to utterly wreck you like never before. “Right now.”

Fives’ eyes clamp shut and the sweat on his brow is beginning to drop from his forehead to your bare chest with how he is hovered over you - your soft but commanding words has the most gargled and loud groan erupt from deep within his chest as he stills his hips

You can feel the way his cock pulsates so far inside of you - liquid warmth spitting from the head and no doubt seeping into your cervix

You’re both completely out of breath and totally fucked-out - you think that’s the most Fives has ever cum, and you’re just staring up at him with the sweetest smile you can muster in your exhausted state

“We can talk about it more later, but...” Fives rubs at his neck after hauling himself off of you - pulling you close to his chest and wrapping his arms tightly around your torso. 

“No need,” you say softly - your hands wrapping around his forearms. “I’ll have them remove the implant on my next visit.”

Your words of promise has Fives uncontrollably getting hard again

***

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Hey Kat🤗 I was wondering if you could write about Bakugou, Shinsou, or Hawks meeting the reader’s family and something goes wrong and they don’t like them at first. Or possibly the parents think they are a negative influence on the reader.

Hey hey hey

I asked my mom how she’d react if I was dating someone she didn't like and she rlly just said “you wouldn’t be dating them if i didn’t like them”

like damn sis okay chile

Warnings: does it count as angst if the parents are the ones being mean? if so, there’s angst, but also fluff, bakugou is bakugou

---

💥 Katsuki Bakugou:

It wasn’t the best first meeting. You had planned to introduce your long term boyfriend to your family at your own pace, but of course the villains of the city had other plans. 

You were on a date, en route to the cinema to catch a new movie amidst Bakugou’s insistence that it was a ‘stupid unrealistic movie’. Mere metres from the entrance a villain came rushing past, a handful of gold jewelry in his arms. He pushed you to the side in order to keep running, which of course enraged Bakugou, who immediately took off after the villain, completely oblivious to the sirens following his path. 

Unsurprisingly he caught him within moments, but what you hadn’t realized was that all the events had been caught by your dad, standing on the other side of the street. Your dad knew you had a partner, and he knew that they were a hero, given you cancelled every opportunity to meet with the excuse of ‘another villain attack’. What he hadn't expected, however, was for your partner to be possibly his least favorite hero currently climbing the ranks. 

Later that night, after your forfeit on the movie date in favour of a much more simple date with your bed, you had a series of texts from your parents. 

So, Ground Zero is the partner we’ve heard so little about?

He’s a bit aggressive, isn’t he?

You should’ve told us sooner.

We just don’t want you getting hurt.

That had been the moment you were waiting for. Anyone who didn’t know Bakugou (and a few who did) would describe him as a never ending pool of anger, too aggressive to be a hero and too mean to be a good partner. But if they knew him the same way you did, they would know that’s not always the case.

Of course he’s angry when he has to deal with stupid villains interrupting every date he plans, or news reporters crowding him like an animal in a zoo whenever they got the chance. But he was different with you, more relaxed. He didn’t exactly express his emotions in the best ways, but he loved you, and he’d never hurt you.

Your parents practically demanded a meeting the next day, and blatantly refused to accept any excuses of villain attacks or the like. The meeting was awkward, with your father almost attempting to provoke Bakugou simply to prove a point, but your boyfriend knew this. He put on a good face, masking his worry and anger with an uncharacteristically kind attitude and baffling you all.

Maybe he’d changed his ways. Or at least, that was the conclusion your parents came to by the end of the night, wishing you well as you made your way home. You fought the urge to laugh at Bakugou’s sudden change once your parents left his view, and held back a smile throughout his mutterings of ‘stupid extras’.

He kept up appearances for long enough, but by the time your parents noticed it was a farce, they realized there was nothing they could do to stop the love you held for each other. After all, he may be an ass, but he’d never hurt you.

---

💜 Hitoshi Shinsou:

Shinsou, on the other hand, wanted to meet your family pretty quickly. If anything, just to get it out of the way, but there was a part of him that wanted the validation that he was good enough for you. Sometimes he just didn’t feel like he was, so if your parents liked him, it’d definitely be a weight off his shoulders.

The two of you picked out a nice restaurant, keeping in mind your parents favorite foods in an attempt to butter them up, then send them a text asking you to meet you and Shinsou for dinner. They replied eagerly, especially when you mentioned the two of you were covering the bill. 

You arrived first, giving your name at the door and sitting down on the plush leather anxiously awaiting the arrival of your parents. When you finally saw them, the two of you stood up to greet them, you offering hugs while Shinsou held out his hand with a smile. 

“It’s nice to meet you.” He said.

Your parents nodded, a false replica of a smile on their faces as they ignored Shinsou’s hand.

The air around you was thick, no one willing to be the first to break the uncomfortable silence, until you eventually suggested you all sit down. You made a mental note to tip your waiter extra when the night was over. It was clear they could sense the awkwardness, and thank the lord they came over at the exact moments you feared a bomb might explode.

The meals went down perfectly, but the atmosphere made it difficult to enjoy anything. Your parents spoke little, and when they did, it was always to you, almost as if Shinsou wasn’t even present. 

To be truly honest, he’d expected this reaction, although he hoped he was just overthinking. He knew people didn’t react to his quirk well, and there were many misconceptions about how much he used it. He had hoped your parents hadn’t been so quick to judge.

By the time your waiter delivered your check, you were ready to curl up in your bed and not emerge for a good few weeks. The four of you walked to the door silently, but before you could wish them goodnight, Shinsou spoke up, his hand holding yours tightly as he faced your parents.

“I just want you to know, whether you like me or not, I love Y/n more than anything, and I would never do anything to hurt them. I will protect them until my last breath, and I hope that we can sort out any differences with time.”

Did he really just confess his love to you in front of your parents? Yup. Well, at least it seemed to get a response this time, as your dad replied:

“I should hope you do.” Your dad held out his hand, and Shinsou took it a bit more than happily. “Or I’ll kill you myself.”

Shinsou laughed awkwardly, not sure whether to be scared at your dad's threat or not, especially when he ended it without another word, turning and walking towards their car. 

I mean at least he spoke to him, right? That’s an improvement?

Either way, Shinsou quickly realized in reality the only opinion that mattered to him, was yours. 

oof having a good dad who cares about you? couldnt be me. also i absolutely hate this one and idk why, but shinsou’s my bby and i feel i disappointed him

---

🍗 Keigo Takami (Hawks):

The meeting was almost completely by chance. Keigo often took you on sky-high (not mile-high get your minds outta the gutters ppl) trips on his off days, and while flying one day, you saw your parents' house from the clouds. They hadn’t met Keigo yet, so you suggested that you pop in for a moment. He agreed, and in seconds, you were standing on their porch, hand raised high to ring the doorbell.

Your mother opened the door, surprised to see you, and even more surprised to see the bird standing behind you. Nevertheless she invited you both in, and as your father called Keigo over, your mother pulled you to one side, whispering quiet enough that the two men wouldn’t hear her. 

“The news says he’s a bit of a playboy.” You said.

“The news says a lot of things.” You rolled your eyes. 

“And his fans?” She asked.

“What about them?” You replied.

“Well,” she paused, “he can get a little friendly with them, don’t you think.”

You sighed. Your mother wasn’t the first person to bring up Keigo’s fans when discussing your relationship, but you knew that in reality, he couldn’t be bothered with the swarms of people throwing themselves at his feet when he had you waiting for him at home. 

“He’s a friendly person.” You shrugged.

“You don’t really believe that, do you?”

“Just say what you want to, mom.” You rounded on her, the heightened volume of your voice drawing Keigo’s attention from the other side of the room. “Say it. Go on.”

She glanced around, seeing both Keigo and your father now watching the two of you. 

“Fine.” You continued. “I know he has hundreds of fans who would kill to be in his bed at night. But you know what? He’s not there. He’s with me, watching crappy tv and binge eating kfc (CANNIBALISM). If you don’t like him, that’s your problem. But don’t try and convince me to do anything but love him, cause you’re not going to do it.”

Baffled, your mother stammered for a response, but you weren’t about to wait for one.

“C’mon Keigo,” you called, “we’re leaving.”

He was next to you in moments, and you grabbed his hand to pull him out of the house, stopping only when you were satisfied you were out of sight of your parents. 

“So, kid…” He looked across at you with a smirk, wrapping an arm around your waist as he lay his chin on your shoulder. “You love me?”

“Shut up bird brain.”

again i hate this but where my baby birds at?

Episode 20 - ChenQing Syndrome & Tangents everywhere

Hello cupcakes, and welcome to episode 20. How’s everyone doing? I hope y’all are as safe and can be. I’m pretty sure I need to sleep for at least 24h because I am exhausted so forgive me if I’m suuuuuper low energy.

On another news I am officially mosquito bait. Yay.

I don’t know if I said so in the previous commentary but I Do Not Vibe with eyeballs so yeah.

Speaking of eyeballs, here is what happened the last time my mum and me consumed a medical drama in public. We decided to go to the cinema to watch The Physician, and in the intro credits there is a tray with a pair of eyeballs by a scalpel and my mum, who’s a GP goes (without lowering her voice of course):

“Those are not human eyeballs, too big, they’re probably cow’s”

I swear the whole row just turned around to give us A Look and I haven’t felt more like a serial killer since I started giggling (again in the cinema) watching Death Proof. So there you have it, I lose my shit when tv doctors do bad medicine and she makes ominous comments that make me want to explain to everyone that no, we don’t dismember people for fun.

Listen, necromancy is whatever, but “Imperio-Ing” people into harming themselves and making them hallucinate by playing the flute is what would freak me the fuck out about WWX ngl. I mean, I know he’s a good egg, but he’s Havana Syndrome-ing this bitch and that gives me chills.

Oh I love this shot of one WWX’s eyes cast in light. Cinematography on point as always.

Ok ok ok I am going to go on a terrible tangent in here. I know that in the book shit was even worse, with the cannibalism and JiaoJiao shoving a whole chair leg down her throat but there’s something that’s always caught my attention. If I’m not mistaken she bit off WC’s dick. Now call it a coincidence that WWX took advantage of, but, because I’m The Worst ™️ it made me think. If I’ve learnt something about Criminal Minds is that you don’t go after someone’s bits unless:

a) you’re a sexual sadist and can’t get off any other way (which WWX is not nor is he killing for sexual gratification)

b) those bits have gone near you when you didn’t want them to and it is revenge.

I mean, same way I didn’t want to make you wonder what WWX ate trapped in a mass grave for three months I don’t want to make you think about this but I need to get if off my chest.

Oh hey, now that I think about it the cannibalism could also be personal because again, they yeeted him into a palace full of corpses where “nothing grows”. God I hate my own brain sometimes.

Did these two just walk up to the front door of the Supervisory Office? I mean, the guards are all dead so it is fine, but that’s one shit strategy.

... that’s one ineffective way of tying a hangman’s noose.

JC IS BEING SOFT WITH WQ OMG!

YOU ARE BREAKING MY HEART. STOP. (Watch me go read ChengQing fics after this is done)

JC: is there anyone more wicked that the Wen Clan?

Me: *takes a deep breath* how much time do you have?

Gotta give it to WWX, the boy knows how to set the mood.

Yup yup I’m cackling.

Go my creepy necromancer son!

(Once again, I cheer when someone gets shanked)

(Once again, assume I’m screaming about the cinematography)

Bless LWJ’s brain cell, I remember when I first watched this being super worried about these two also getting ChenQing Syndrome.

So is the Red Woman an actual entity or is she an anthropomorphization of what he’s doing to them? Am I assigning too much Poe to this scene?

JC and LWJ straight up jumped through the ceiling to save WWX I love them. (But think, if they’ve been slightly slower and WZL had realised there wasn’t a core to melt, oh the delicious delicious canon divergences we could have)

Now that’s an effective noose.

THAT HUG WAS TOO SHORT! AND WWX WAS GOING TO RECIPROCATE BUT JC STOPED NOOOOOO. (Again JC looks like he gives the best hugs)

Misdirecting WWX is misdirecting.

Aaaaaand you can see the PTSD start to rear its ugly heard the second they want to know where he was the last three months.

WWX: *starts spinning bullshit*

JC: *relaxes his frown and eyerolls*

Aw bb he was really worried. I mean, it is still misdirection but I can see how JC inexperienced as he is with trauma (and dealing with his own) could interpret that as his baby brother just being himself.

Aw they’re falling back into being their soft yet prickly selves I die.

Nope LWJ! I know that you’re worried and shit but the last thing you want to do to someone with WWX’s trauma is trigger their fight or flight response by asking questions and making them sound like accusations.

(Also, interlude to say, WWX seems super reluctant to admit he fucked with the talismans, which fair enough, I’m thinking his trauma conga line is probably making him think he’ll get in trouble if he admits it or they’ll start distrusting him. But really looks like simple curiosity to me)

I’m just gonna scream incoherently at my screen because they are doing it fucking wrong.

Me with other fandoms: KISS GODDAMNIT

Me with this one: COMMUNICATE

DRAG HIM (ok GusuLan) WWX. I know LWJ only wants to make sure WWX is safe and healthy and loved but listen, he doesn’t have the full picture, he is still somewhat naive about you know, the amount his idols can disappoint him. Yes, it is exacerbated by WWX raising his hackles and his overall paranoia but; GusuLan is where the Sect Leader and the second in command (I know Netflix calls LQR “grandmaster” but I also know the translation is incorrect) decided that lashing their own family was an appropriate corrective. I’m not even going to go into the genocide victims or the reasons for the punishment but yeah, lashing. It hasn’t happened yet, but the potential is there, and as much of a self-sacrificing idiot as WWX is he must have some survival instincts if he lived in the streets for years, I’m not saying they don’t get negated when someone he loves is in danger, but you know, they have to be there. I think his brain has been *Kill Bill sirens* about GusuLan for a long time and now the guy who lives and breathes by their rules wants him to go back? Yeah I absolutely think it is valid that he thought the “help” he was gonna get would be horrifying punishment to “put him in the right path”. Do I see a fuck ton of parallels btw GusuLan and abusive Bible-thumping religious fanatical groups? Ok yeah, my b probably, but I Can’t Unsee.

And again, I know LWJ just wants to keep him safe and I know he’s an awkward potato but this one is on him. WWX is in no emotional place to play “guess WangJi” and it might make his soul shrivel up and die inside but a Long Conversation should be had.

Ok, allow me to go on another fucking tangent, there aren’t enough already. I’ve seen posts saying that western people misinterpret LWJ’s short and blunt speech (is short speech something you say in English?) as him being awkward/clamming up/not liking to talk when it actually is considered a very elegant thing to be able to get your point across with as few words as possible, because our culture values eloquence. First of all, I’ve seen that point made with the English language, and I’m Spanish, I don’t know if it affects my point of view but we also have the same idea of getting to the point ASAP here, it isn’t like the height of elegance but it is very common. That’s not my reasoning to say LWJ is an introverted/awkward potato, although it influences it. Because I’ve seen the show a few times, and because YiBo is the patron saint of micro-expressions, I’ve caught several instances in which, after pleasantries are done, a stranger tries to talk to LWJ and he get the tiniest “oh shit people want to have a conversation someone save me” look on his face. The most notable one is when YunmengJiang is trying to get into Cloud Recesses.

Just because someone can be a good conversationalist doesn’t mean they actually like to talk to people or be around them.

Bless JC to the rescue.

Btw regardless of me going off about LWJ’s lack of communication it doesn’t mean I’m not side eyeing WWX for unleashing on people who are not at fault for his trauma.

LET MY YUNMENG SIBS BE HAPPY GODDAMNIT

So that’s all for this episode. I’m so sorry for my tangents, I can’t contain myself. Thanks for reading!

Gonna answer a questionnaire that I saw @koalateamusings do 1 million years ago cuz its REAL RDR HOURS and I also tag @honeyjaws to do it after!! Here’s a Q&A about Violet and Kieran lmfao..........

1. How did they first meet?

they both turn a tight corner and literally run face first into each other in camp LMAO. It’s a stupid mess and they hit each other so hard that Violet falls over and the horses make noise, and Bill cracks a joke about how he “the o’driscoll can’t be left alone around the girls!” and this embarrasses Kieran even MORE and he just apologizes to her over and over, but she’s a bit dazed so he’s just like ‘Miss let me help you!’ and lifts her up and when he does they get super close to each other and see each others faces and Kieran literally just STARES at her like an idiot, and Violet just teases him like “Well be careful, okay? What if I’d scratched the handsome off you?” and giggles and pulls his hat down over his face and Kieran’s brain is just like (KILL BILL SIRENS). They don’t actually properly learn each others names until later that night when she goes over to talk to him.

2. What did they think of each other at first? What was their first impression of the other?

HonesLEE it’s all so dorky and soft which I raaaarrrrely ever do to my OCs lmfao jfggggggggggggh... Kieran is head over heels the first second he sees Violet but he tries very hard to not show it; he is convinced he’d never have a chance with her. He acts weird the first few times they talk because he doesn’t really know how to behave around her. (This results in stuff like @honeyjaws‘s Lua thinking he’s awkward/weird and she doesn’t approve of him for Violet right away.) He literally calls her Miss Violet for the longest time even though she always tells him to call her Vi like everyone else. Violet thinks Kieran is very cute; the way they meet leaves a good impression on her because she thinks he comes off as very sweet and gentle which she is really not used to in the men in her life. It mostly starts out as she just really likes him and has a bit of a crush, but she falls for him super hard back once they spend more time together.

3. Were they immediately interested / attracted, or did that come later?

Mutual but it starts with Kieran having a maaaassive crush on her and Violet liking him and being really playful and teasing him a lot. It’s a ton of pining honestly for the longest time with both of them being STUPID AF and thinking the other isn’t interested. Violet is worried Kieran thinks of her as a child, and Kieran just flat out thinks Violet would never think of him like that. They are dumbasses and just both are in love and convinced its unrequited because neither of them will say anything lmfao

4. Why did they fall for each other?

Honestly Violet would realize it because she’d realize one day just how much he cares for her and how kind of a person he is; like she knows he’s a good person already obviously but one day maybe something on a heist or something that happens in camp really shakes her, and they’re hanging out in camp like they usually do and he gets up to go sleep and she’d grab his arm and goes “Would you stay with me?” and Keiran can just tell she’s not okay and would just be like “Of course. Whenever you need me.” and Violet’s heart would be like “OH GOD. OH FUCK.”

Kieran is pretty in love with Violet the second he sees her but its initially just based on her being beautiful and very kind to him. I think it would get serious for him once they spend more time together and he’d fall in love with her as a whole. She can be stubborn and naive and a bit childish, but she has a heart of gold and she’s so loyal and will go to such lengths for people she loves and I think he’d just fall a little bit more for her progressively every day.

5. Who flirted more before they started their relationship and how?

LMFAO VIOLET................................She teases the hell out of Kieran, ESPECIALLY as she gets more feelings for him. She loves finding ways to fluster the hell out of him.  Kieran can’t flirt with her, period. His way of showing love to Violet is being super respectful and kind and just pining from afar lmfao. It’s hard enough for him to not add MISS in front of her name all the time.

6. Who made the first move/confessed first?

surprisingly I think Kieran would? It would not at all be physical but he would definitely be the first to confess because his feelings for her are super overwhelming for him, and he doesn’t have outlets like Violet does with talking to Lua or how she teases him and is kinda flirty.  I think one night he’d leave her tent to go to sleep and then like 10 minutes later he’d just step back inside her tent and stare at her and she’d be like “...Is everything okay?” and he’d be like “Yes. No? I. I don’t know. I’m in love with you.” and it’d all probably come tumbling out of him and he’d probably apologize at the end of it and try to run LMAO

7. When did they have their first kiss and under what circumstances?

Violet would 100% initiate the first kiss and she’d make it so chaste to keep Kieran from exploding lmao. She’d totally do it out of the blue and catch him off guard too. Probably in her tent, he’d get up to leave for the night and she’d just kiss him really quick and say “Goodnight! :)” and he’d leave quietly and then have his quiet freak out outside lmao

8.  Which one is more easily made jealous?

I don’t think either of them would get jealous over each other tbh??? Violet would probably be more prone to jealousy than Kieran but only because she’s more temperamental then him.

9. What do they fight about? Who’s the first to apologize?

OH LMAO god its super stupid and it was early on way before they confess to each other. Violet wants to go on a heist that Dutch is putting together. Dutch isn’t 100% confident that Violet can handle a serious heist so he asks Kieran for his input since they spend so much time together and asks Kieran if he thinks she’s too childish, and Kieran who desperately doesn’t want Violet to go on this heist cuz he’s terrified of her getting hurt says YES he agrees she’s “just a kid”. Violet would find out later and be furious. Half out of feeling betrayed by who she feels is one of her best friends and half out of embarrassment because the boy she likes thinks shes just some KID?? She’d storm out of Dutch’s tent and make a literal B-line for him and confront him IMMEDIATELY and he’d be so flustered and she wouldn’t be able to yell at him for more than 5 minutes without starting to cry and running back to Lua and Rosa. She’d give him the cold shoulder for a week and then Kieran would find her and apologize. He’d confess that he said it because he didn’t want her to get hurt on a job because he cares about her, and he’d tell her he misses talking to her, and this would overjoy her too much to keep being mad at him lmao

10. Did they have a first date? Where did they go?

They don’t really get to date what with Van Der Lindes being on the run and all ;_; but they’d spend time together at camp a ton

11. What do their friends and family think? Do they approve of the relationship?

@honeyjaws​‘s Lua thinks Kieran is weird as fuck as first LMAO. She and Violet are such super good friends though and it would come mostly from a place of concern and wanting what’s best for Violet. She’d definitely warm up to Kieran eventually but at first she’d be like “hey....................who is this weird horse guy that stares at you all day” I’d love to know what @koalateamusings​‘s Rosa would think of it tbh

12. Do they like to cuddle/hold hands? Do they prefer to do it privately rather than in public?

Kieran is definitely a private person; not really into PDA. Violet would probably respect that, she doesn’t even really tease him or flirt with him in front of other people. In private they definitely hold hands and Violet is super touchy and physical lmao

13. How long do they wait before sleeping together for the first time (If they do)? Under what circumstances does it happen?

GOD..........I don’t even know when they’d ever get the privacy to do something lmao but it would come from just such a place of like, they both repressed themselves and their feelings for so long??? It would be a literal hot mess especially for Kieran because he in particular represses so much of how he feels and it’d all come tumbling out once Violet initiates something

14. Who tops?

lmao........................shocking but..........Kieran................He has a lot of feelings about Violet physically, he just has a tremendous amount of difficulty acting on them. If they ever actually started doing something he’d get over it pretty quick lmao.

15. Do they get married? Who proposes & how?

16. Do they have children? How many? What are their names?

so my mom and i, between the two of us, just have Really Wonky Bodies with all of our whack medical conditions, to which i suppose you could actually apply ‘immunocompromised’ but literally no one has ever said that to us, no doctor was ever like ‘yeah you should be extra careful out there,’ and our house is so clinically clean in the first place because of our obsessive, truly excessive cleaning habits, but we must be doing something right because we Do Not Get Sick, my mom has been sick maybe twice my whole life and i haven’t had a sinus infection since 2013 

this is all to say that my worry level and anxiety are yep still constantly fluctuating things as to how concerned we’re supposed to be even though we’ve been home, my mom lysols packages and wipes off groceries with soap, every door gets hit with a clorox wipe even when we just go out to get the mail, my brother’s coming over tomorrow because he always does on weekends and he literally never goes anywhere (i mean it. he doesn’t go. anywhere.) and always washes his hands so i’m not that concerned about him being here, i keep forgetting there’s a new amlt on tonight because my brain is just in a million other places, i’m fine, we’re fine, i don’t know where this post is going, any time i read a post about anything my brain is just activating kill bill sirens for anxiety 

Ask away : 1,5,10,15,20,25,30,35,40,45,50,55,60,65,70,75,80,85,90,95? 🙆

Hiiiii! Ok so it takes me a while to answer things. Sorry!Ok here we go...1. Do you sleep with the closet doors open or closed?~Open usually, because I jam so much stuff in there its hard to keep closed lol!5. What is your favorite color?~Blue! Followed closely by a deep royal purple. 10. Zodiac sign?~I'm a little ol' sky crustacean. 🦀 Cancer.15. Grab the book nearest you, turn to page 64, give me line 14.~"The Starship 2000 was a radical small-business aircraft design, drawing on the experience of Burt Rutan and his concurrent Voyager project..." -The Encyclopedia of Aircraft by Silverdale Books. 200420. Do you dance in the car?~Oh heck yes! And Car's been known to do a little fast shimmy too when no ones around... 25. Do you prefer to swim in the pool or the ocean?~Both! Whenever I can. 30. Do you study better with or without music?~With, all the time, helps get my brain zeroed in. In fact most tasks are easier and faster for me with music. Except flying. I want a perfectly quiet cockpit when in the air so can keep an ear to all the parts humming. But the sound of the engines is music to me sooo... guess that counts. 😎🛩35. Do you believe in magic? ~Perhaps....😉 *Starts singing* 🎶"Do you believe in magic? Come along with me, We'll dance until morning, just you and me..."🎶40. Do you have any obsessions right now?~Choices! Especially Endless Summer, The Crown and the Flame, Hero, It Lives in the Woods, Most Wanted, and the Haunting of Braidwood Manor! And Estela Montoya! Also Airsoft, Star Wars, and anything Avaition related. 45. Name one movie that made you cry.~Omg... only one? Nuh uh, gonna do several:▪War Horse▪Letters from Juliet ▪Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales (Because I am a big Barbossa fan)▪Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 (What is it with Disney killing off Dads this year???)▪Bambi (Who doesn't?)▪Lilo & Stitch: Stitch has a Glitch▪The PassionOk... that was more than several...50. Do you fear thunder/lightning?~No, as long as I'm indoors. I actually find a thunderstorming day relaxing, especially when the power goes out. And if its a severe one, I find it interesting to watch, the hail or bolts of lightening crossing the sky. Now being in the Midwest USA, when the tornado sirens sound off we do rush to the basement and that part is always a little... adventuresome. But even then not afraid.  55. What season are you in right now?~It's the Fall! Leaves changing color and flittering in the breeze, a chill in the air and all the farmers working like crazy with their giant machines in the fields. 60. Do I have any homework right now? If so, what is it about?~Well... in my profession you have to keep studying each year as the laws change so currently watching and reading up on the new Tax Bills moving through Congress. 65. What's your opinion on Instagram Stories?~On what? *Googles* Oooh I see. Hmm... it sounds interesting but I lead such a boring life it wouldn'tbe useful for me. 70. Are both of your blood parents still in your life?~Yup! And they've been married 48 years now! And I see Mom every day for we work in the same company. 75. Did you like swinging as a child? Do you still get excited when you see a swing set?~Yes and absolutely Yes!80. Stalked someone on a social network?~Nah, unless you count my friend and I talking about internet and online security and him curious what I could find out about him. I showed him what I could find and it's amazing what all is out there. 85. What do you wear to bed?~T-shirt and PJs usually. 90. Favorite soda drink?~Root Beer and Dr. Pepper!95. What tatoo do you want?~Soo... I have a thing with needles... they are spooky. And the thought of ink going under my skin... eeeh no. They look cool though and I've actually helped designed some using my calligraphy! Thank you for these asks! They are fun!

Siren Song

So on June 17th I realized I forgot to celebrate Stanley and Stanford’s birthday (June 15th) and that I would miss celebrating my first June 18th (Alex Hirsch’s birthday) as a fan of Gravity Falls in America. So I wrote out something in honor of the two days. 

Siren Song

Stan has never told Ford what he hears when they’ve heard the siren’s call. (They’ve both heard it. Ford set the course on autopilot with an unchangeable time lock, then time lock bonded himself and Stan to the rails of the ship, where they could not escape to be dashed against the rocks and eaten, but still hear the call. Ford thought it important they both experience the call together, and Stan has a hard time saying no to as tame a scheme as that from his brother).

Ford was gushing about his visions as soon as they were released from the spell and in safer waters. He went on and on about how they showed you truth about yourself even you may not realize. He talked about how they peer into passerby’s souls and lures them to their sands to die by singing what they long for most to come true. Sometimes (according to myths) by showing you alternate paths your life could have taken. Or sometimes just showing more and better than what a sailor already has. If you examine it you can discover your weaknesses post spell-state, and understand fundamentally who you are, what you’re made of. (As well as get to steady the siren in-depth!)

Ford talked for three hours about all this and more before he finally asked Stan what the sirens sang to him.

Stan looked at Ford for a moment (a hard, searching look that was gone so quick, Ford thought he’d imagined it) and answered, “Nothing much.”

Ford was dumbfounded momentarily, but he regained his voice quickly. “What?! Stanley, come on, tell me what they said! This is an amazing opportunity to study how they’re able to tailor their songs to multiple individuals, even ones similar as us. I’m surprised they didn’t confuse our frequencies, actually, for…” and Ford got sidetracked on the theoretical likelihood of only half of a set of twins surviving a siren attack because of the way their bewitching works. Stan ignored almost all of it and started mending some nets on board. He was great with knots.

When Ford finally circled the conversation back to Stanley, Stan was prepared to resist nonchalantly.

“Come on, Stanley, talk about it.”

“What, am I not allowed at least four secrets left, Ford? Besides, who has time to figure themselves out fully? I’m good just skating by the next few years already knowing just enough to be alright. It’s worked so far.”

Ford brought up several counterpoints that Stan shot down, sometimes with words, usually with grunts, shrugs, and pointed looks. Finally Ford got fed up with his lack of cooperation and stalked off to make is own notes and observations about the experience. [and scientific-related queries]

Stan took to the deck to start plotting their next course. He tried not to think about all he’d seen and heard from the sirens, but it was no use. The song stuck to him. Their words had changed and rippled and layered over each other until all he could make out were key phrases that were sung together.

The less he tried to think about it, the stronger the memories became until they overwhelmed him again, and his mind was cast back to the whole affair.

You have much to regret You would rather forget Your brother loves you not He left your bones to rot

The pain is all too much Your pain is all too much Your fire dies and ashes rise Your true form comes forth

Rise and see Rise and see A world where you and he were separate, and happy

And visions came of Stan having a better life where Ford wasn’t in it, from childhood through to high school. Never being bullied, never being second best. Always well-liked, a natural athlete, top boxer, good enough grades to go to college. Getting married, having kids, having grandkids. Having a huge family that loves Stanley—not being forgotten, hurt, abandoned and crushed by the world the way he was.

Stan had shook his head, tears falling at this vision, shouting, “No, no, I want my brother too!”

And the sirens heard and changed their tune…

Rise and see Rise and see A world where everything was as it should be…?

A new vision had swept over Stan and he was relieved to see Stanford there. It was the night before Stan got thrown out, Stan and Ford on the swing sets, talking and laughing. Ford making plans to go adventuring with Stan, not even mentioning the stupid school.

The brothers take on life together—Ford does go, but Stan goes with him. Eventually Ford gets famous for his tech and inventions. Stan is with him every step of the way. They adventure around the globe on a grant Ford had from the school. Eventually they settle back in California as a home base. Stan gets married, has kids. Ford is a good uncle, they tease his kids together. He has grandkids, and again as the brothers grow older they tease and confuse their family. Stan has everything.

But still he is shaking and raging against his bonds on the boat, crying “No, no, I don’t deserve it. That didn’t happen—Stan Pines is DEAD!” and again their song shifted…

Rise and see Rise and see Say goodbye to painful memories

Stan, soon after pushing Ford into the portal, branded and distraught, runs into town, starving and half mad. He runs into a man with a strange red cloak who promises he can help. Stan follows the voice blindly, ignoring all the warning signs he’d learned on the streets.

He is hit by the memory gun. He forgets everything.

Everything about “Stanford Pines”

(for how could what was left of Fiddleford’s mind differentiate between Stanley and Stanford?)

His wound is taken care of and they feed him, give him some money, and leave him in the shack. When Stanley wakes up, all he has are disappointing memories of a (friendless) terrible life, and schemes for making money boiling in his brain. He checks out his surroundings and decides to use the most of this opportunity by setting up a tourist trap with all the weird stuff in the abandoned house.

It makes big money, for years and years. Eventually his father tells him he was wrong to kick him out. (That was a GOOD DAY for Stan. Vindicating. He sent Filbrick packing). Stan didn’t work thirty years day and night to save Ford. He enjoyed his financial success. He made other goals. Got back in touch with Shermie, and got to be part of his nephew’s life—and later his great niece and nephews lives too.

It was everything Stan wanted—family, success, happiness. No guilt, no shame, nothing hanging over his name.

(And Ford died defeating Bill in the Nightmare Realm, torn to pieces as it collapsed at Bill’s death. Dimension 47’\ never even knew).

Stan still cried and struggled against his bonds, the song, their visions. So the sirens changed their tune one final time…

Rise and see Rise and see The world grows dim It’s you or him

Stan is sitting in his car. He’s 23. Crying silently, staring at two objects in his lap. One, the picture of him and Ford on the Stan O War. The other, a six-shooter he picked up at a local pawn shop using the ten finger discount.

He’s at one of the lowest moments of his life. He flips the picture over and writes down a couple short sentences on the back of the picture. Then he picks up the revolver, loads a single bullet, cocks the hammer, and—

ends it all.

Blood splatters the inside of the car, and all over the picture he kept. Written in mess script has this message: “I’m sorry brother. You’ll be better off in a world I’m not in. Sorry I couldn’t do this for you sooner. –Stanley Pines”

Ford gets the news and cries for two weeks straight. Stan watches as his family all reacts in different ways. Pa dies a few months later, and no one can prove it as related, but the guilt ate him away until he was nothing but bones. Ma raged and sobbed. She lived to see her great grandchildren born, though, and all the way to fifteen. Shermie punched a wall, said he should’ve found him and helped, the consequences be damned! Reb cried and Sam wasn’t old enough to know why.

Ford never got over it.

But he also never fell into Bill’s trap. He became a world-renowned scientist, along with Fiddleford McGucket, for their ground breaking work in anomalies. He grew closer with Shermie and involved in his brother’s kid’s life. When Mabel and Mason were born, he was there, and he cried. Gave them advice. Watched them for a couple of summers.

Ford did well for himself, lived to the old age of 94, and died of natural causes. But he never forgave himself for Stan’s death. He kept the bloody picture that was the last thing Stan had seen before he died.

Stan sobbed. But he stopped fighting the visions and songs. As they were about to pass outside of the siren’s reach, they called to Stan one last time…

Rise and see Rise and see Like a puppet with no strings Come and spend forever with me

And blue fire filled his vision as an insane laughter filled his mind. The siren’s song clashed over the laughter, repeating REGRET…FORGET…PAIN…FIRE…BROTHER…DIES…

RISE AND SEE RISE AND SEE

As the laughter got louder and Stan’s vision overwhelmed with blue fire, the sound of a gunshot going off over and over again—

everything was cut off.

All the normal sounds of the sea returned. Birds calling, ocean rocking the boat, slapping against the sides. Stan opened his eyes and stared at the deck beneath him. He was still tied to the railing. He saw the ship steer them out of the fog and on towards the nearest port.

Stan was exhausted. The emotional upheaval was enough to kill a guy. He looked over to Ford to make sure he was alright. His brother was grinning from ear to ear, ecstatic, eyes closed. Stan had sighed and let himself rest until the time locks opened and he could forget the ordeal with the sirens ever happened.

Except Ford wouldn’t stop pestering him. He’d approach it different ways, but Stan knew every trick in the book. He knew when he was being pumped for information.

Over time Ford gave up and moved on to other projects. Stan was relieved. He didn’t think he could live with how close he came to that fourth vision…and how much better things would’ve been for everyone…

Stan shoved the thought from his mind and resolved to throw wax in his ears and punch a siren first chance he got.

It Section Seven

Chapters 16-18

1. Why does Mr. Keene want to see Eddie in his office? How does Eddie react to their encounter? Mr. Keene wants to tell Eddie that he isn't really sick. He says he's gone along with the charade long enough. Eddie's doctor might not be brave enough to stand up to Eddie's mother but Mr. Keene no longer feels comfortable lying. So he explains to Eddie what a placebo is and tells him that's what's in his aspirator. He says that it isn't really medicine but it helps Eddie because it's his brain that thinks he needs it. Mr. Keene thinks that Eddie's mother is determined for him to be sick and that's why Eddie's doctor prescribed the aspirator in the first place. So basically if Eddie stops listening to his mother's insistence that he's sick, he would actually be alright. And Eddie doesn't take this well at all. He basically thinks Mr. Keene is crazy (though some small part of him thinks Mr. Keene might be telling the truth but he dismisses that pretty much instantly) and he Won't Hear Any of This and then runs out of the drug store.

2. How does Eddie break his arm? He's on his way home from the drug store and his mother always gives him a dollar so he can stop in and get two candy bars and a soda. So he's going to do that when he sees Henry Bowers and company. Well, Henry is aLL KINDS OF UPSET about the rock throwing and since Eddie is all alone, it's the perfect chance to get his revenge on his one of the Losers Club. So he starts attacking him but then the shop owner comes out and tries to stop him. But, unfortunately, Henry is literally crazy and also a little bit bigger than the guy so he just shoves him out of the way. Well, Eddie takes this opportunity to make a run for it and that's when Henry and company start chasing him. He had a pretty good lead but then he tripped over a kid on a tricycle and they caught him. Henry then proceeds to break Henry's arm but then they hear sirens (the guy at the store said he was going to call the cops and apparently he did) and so Henry and company leave without inflicting more damage. But still. They broke Eddie's arm =/

3. What did Patrick do when he was five? What has he been keeping in the Amana refrigerator? He murdered his baby brother when he was five. He didn't care that his parents had another child; he cared that his schedule changed and, mostly, that his meals were late. So one day he came home and his mom was taking a nap. So he went in to see the baby, who was also taking a nap. He noticed that the baby, Avery, was sleeping on his stomach with his head turned to the side. So he just turned Avery's head into the pillow. He did this, experimentally, a few times before he just held it there, until Avery died. Then he went about his business as his mother, hours later, discovered Avery's death and it was ruled a crib death. And Patrick discovered that he had a taste for killing so he started stealing the neighbors pets and locking them in the Amana fridge down at the dump until they died. He would take them down there, lock them in and then check on them until they were dead. Eventually, though, he stopped stealing pets and started taking animals that were already dying or were sick because they wouldn't be missed.

4. What happens to Patrick? So Henry hinted that he knows Patrick's secret and what he keeps in the fridge. Well, Patrick decides he needs to get rid of the evidence. The only thing currently in there, so he thinks, is a pigeon. So he plans to take it out and bury it. But when he opens the fridge, it's full of these, like, giant macaroni noodle looking things. It turns out these are It parasites and they start attacking him and he's screaming and bleeding and ends up dragged off to be eaten by Pennywise. Well, Beverly is watching the whole thing and she can't really tell what is happening? But she follows him and one of the parasite things attacks her too but she gets it off. So she follows the trail and finds evidence that Patrick was taken. But she doesn't find his body and when she hears Pennywise laughing, she gets out of there.

5. What do the Losers discover when they open the Amana refrigerator? Beverly tells the rest of the Losers Club what she saw and brings them back with her. So Bill ties a string to the refrigerator door and they all hide and he pulls it open. Well, the parasites are gone and, instead, the fridge is filled with orange pompoms and written on the inside of the door, in blood, it says: STOP NOW BEFORE I KILL YOU ALL A WORD TO THE WISE FROM YOUR FRIEND PENNYWISE

6. What do the Losers make in preparation for their meeting with It? They melt down one of Ben's silver dollars and make two little pebbles with them so they can shoot them at It. They also had a contest to see who was the best shot and Beverly won so it's decided that she will be the one to shoot It with the bullets.

7. What happens on July 25th? The Losers go to 29 Neibolt Street to face off with It. They go in through the basement and make their way through the house. They see a few weird/creepy sightings but when they finally reach a bathroom (behind which has to be the layer of It from the smell alone), they see an exploded toilet which is how It has been coming to the surface. It makes an appearance and it's clear that it's really after Bill. But then Beverly goes to shoot it and Ben steps up to protect her. He gets scratched across the gut and ends up bleeding pretty badly but Beverly does shoot it with one of the silver bullets and it disappears back down the drain. They know that they haven't won yet and they'll have to face off with it one last time, very soon. But they, at least, won this round.

  Section Seven Reading Journal

So I know that I picked this book but I am seriously ready to be done with this book. The fact that there are still 300 pages left, astounds me. Why???? What could you possible have in 300 pages besides more of the same??? It’s not like the last 800 have been exactly riveting.

I was honestly hoping this was going to be an actual face off with Pennywise. But instead it was like 20 pages of buildup for a half a page of battle before It jumped into the toilet. This is not at all the fight I was looking for.

And, honestly, just from what I’m seeing in the gifs, it looks like there is way more story in the movie. Unless a few of the gifs I’m seeing happen in the next 300, it looks like the movie actually has more progressive buildup. Which is what I wanted from this book.

All of that being said, I am glad I’m reading this book because I would’ve always wondered. I’ve heard a lot about this book and it’s literally hailed as one of the greatest horror novels of all time. But I’m just really not impressed?? I guess I like what other people have done with this story better than what Stephen King did with this story.

So. I’m just ready to be done with this book and on to something that isn’t so unnecessarily long and repetitive. Because, honestly? This book doesn’t need to be more than 300 pages. That’s how much story has actually been in this book. 300 pages worth. Everything else has just been unnecessary and, in my opinion, boring.

It’s getting harder to actually pick up this book and force myself through the sections. Can we just face off with Pennywise already? Please. Because I’m ready to read literally anything else. /rant

hellraiser 3 funtime carnival, pt 1

it has been an age since i've done an old school picspam like this. back in the livejournal days, i lived for this shit. i took my f-list through a horde of awful, awful films starring very attractive women, but everybody had a good time along the way and i miss that rush of communal drunken laughter. so when i texted kristen and i said "will you watch hellraiser 3 with me" and her response was "ughhhhh do i have to", she suggested maybe i just livetweet it. i said to her no buddy, i'll do you one better, i'll do this. i think this is the kind of experience that's going to be much better with visual aids, because i gather it's disgustingly violent.

i don't know anything about hellraiser. i'm not into horror movies; i'm actually several levels of baffled by the legions of horror movie aficionados in the world who are passionately drawn to the aesthetic quality of blood and guts and buy these movies on vhs, ld, dvd, bluray, and watch hacking and slashing over and over and over again and take screenshots of the artsiest parts of people having their brains splattered on walls by hideous monsters. i don't get it, but there's a part of me that wants to understand it? wish i could be an art house horror movie critic like the cool hipsters. PERHAPS i can get a little closer to the delightful rainbow horror vortex through hellraiser 3, which horror movie people apparently don't like that much. is it because there's not enough killing in it? are there not enough visible intestines? well, i won't hate it, i don't THINK, because i'm here for one reason and one reason only and that reason is terry farrell, exactly one year before ds9 and cute! Cute!!

maybe be wary because i'm not going to shy away from nasty screeshots, but otherwise, pull out your genuine hasbro ouijas and get ready to commune with zozo because we're goin in babyyyyyyyy

the year is 1992, dan quayle has just harangued murphy brown for having a baby out of wedlock, and that's the only timeline gauge i have for 1992. i was a child. i was in kindergarten or some shit. i barely had a handle on my right hand vs. my left hand and was not old enough to watch a horror movie; i wasn't old enough to watch sister act. some of you reading this were not even born in 1992 and that's perhaps more nauseating than any severed body part i will see in this movie.

lmao the music is so orchestrally spooky and i'm like, "ohhhh no this was a bad idea" asldfhlahsld. i'm NOT a weenie, i can watch a shitty horror movie... it's a pretty sweet song actually, it's like, "satan is coming, and we're all going to suffer, but beautifully!" well, i hope that's true.

this kid with roaring red cowboy boots walks into an art gallery in the middle of the night and gives me the finger with his cigarette. IS THE HELLRAISER IN HERE? IS HE GOING TO RAISE HELL INTO THIS BOY? ARE THERE ANY SECURITY GUARDS ON DUTY PAST THIS GALLERY'S REGULAR BUSINESS HOURS?

a statue of tits and asses and whatever else slowly spins. art!

rebel boy approaches, ignoring the really fascinating painting behind him of a scabby spooky ghost man realizing he's just run out of scrubbing bubbles and will have to disrupt the whole rest of his saturday cleaning day to head to fred meyer to pick up some more. damn it, gerald, if you'd gone to costco like everybody else, then you'd have 99 scrubbing bubbles AND you'd have gotten free trail mix samples.

AAHHH THAT'S IT THAT'S THE ZOZO CUBE. that's the THING that the THING is in DO NOT TOUCH THAT. it's gonna get touched. a lot, i'm sure.

uh, okay, where's that museum security because this guy just got in here. "you want it?" he asks. do i want... a 99 pack of scrubbing bubbles? yeah, i mean, i can always use more... you can never have too many scubbing bubbles.

that's not what he's asking, he's asking whether rebel kid wants to have the naked zozo obelisk. rebel kid asks how much he wants for it. hobo man says "whatever you think it's worth".

and they make a drug deal out of it while an Evil Beast Sound plays in the background. if there's anyone i don't trust with a cube of vacuum-sealed evil, it's this wannabe edgelord danny from grease. hell is that much closer to getting raised!!

oh my god, yes. this is joey and she's my daughter and i love her. I WILL PROTECT HER FROM THE CUBE MAN WITH MY BARE HANDS. actually i think she's going to protect me, you, and all of creation from the cube man, so that's good i'm really looking forward to it.

oh no she's extremely cute. and struggling with journalism things, but that is something i can only marginally pay attention to because...

...off to the side here nurse nancy is laying out all sorts of tools while ill-boding sounds happen. it has only been 6 minutes.

DUDE! you guys fucking remember GTE??? holy fug that's a blast from the past... damn. so's this giant phone, which the cameraman picks up while just saying, "speak." love it.

wh-what is the significance... ahhhh......

cameraman is getting called away to some BREAKING NEWS, and he's a good old man so he tries to bring joey along but they're like nah. he says things'll be okay, the story of her life may be just around the corner! yeah, and it's gonna be something not even klonopin could take the edge off of.

oh god. nurse nancy takes out a saw and strokes it.

WHY IS IT DARK IN HERE I THOUGHT THIS WAS A REGULAR HOSPITAL. i mean, obviously not with nurse nancy's jagged metal fetish.

suddenly there are sirens, and paramedics burst through the door carting a guy with...

BLOODY CHAINS???? FROM WHERE????? WHAT???????

i can't begin to understand this. there's a guy, just here all of a sudden, with bloody fucking chains hanging all over him. but most hilariously, one of the paramedics says, "you ever seen anything like this before?" and the other one goes, "yeah, yeah, sure!" YEAH, YEAH, SURE? you've seen a guy before with chains protruding from his epidermis? fucking WHEN? don't say the last time you got the marijuana munchies because that doesn't count.

ohhhh shit, that's NEWS! how did the cameraman miss this cavalcade rolling into the er on his way out the door? from where in time did this all COME FROM? oh my god i'm so confused.

this girl from hot topic keeps saying this had nothing to do with her, she was just there, can she go now? dude. the guy. has chains. coming out of his skin. i know that's more of a party city at halloween kind of thing but you have to be at least a little more concerned, i would think.

hot topic girl says this happened at "the boiler room", so, i'm definitely crossing that right off my list of places to visit in my lifetime. all places named boiler room, in every corner of the 48 continental united states. don't care, not going to them.

all of a sudden there's a huge pop from the or along with flashing lights. aaaahhh!!! joey runs toward it, eager for news that not one sane person will believe, while hot topic girl is like "fuuuck that" and leaves.

well, this is what's going on in the or. somebody touched the side while trying to get the charley horse...!

mmmyeah everything is disgusting. this guy's seizing, the chains are yanking on him, electricity is crackling, all the doctors are like ahhhh what the fuck!

VERY SAME

oh, and then?

the guy's head explodes.

it has now been... 8 minutes and 44 seconds. i have at least 82 more minutes. of this. this was a baaaaaaaaaaad idea. maybe the worst i've ever had. i'm scared, you're scared, heads have exploded, and there's 82 minutes left for it to get so much worse.

this nurse is sobbing, i don't know how that bloody hand print got there, there is blood all. over. the floor. blood is dripping from chain guy's corpse, which incidentally now has no head. closed casket for sure!

joey literally falls her way out of the or and tries not to vomit. pretty normal reaction to watching the very real consequences of too much margarita monday at the boiler room.

prepare for it? uh, i don't know if you were paying attention but it just fucking happened, at the darkest hospital in the city which apparently hasn't paid its electricity bill in three years.

we all gotta decompress from that shit. let's all breathe, do some light meditation...

NO, NO TIME FOR DECOMPRESSING, ONLY JUMP SCARES NOW. this HAND comes out of GODDAMN NOWHERE to slam on the window of this MOVING BUS WHAT'S HAPPENING I DON'T KNOW ARE YOU SCREAMING BECAUSE I'M ALSO DOING THAT! MY EARS ARE FULL OF SCREAMS AND THEY'RE ALL MINE!! WE CAN'T BOTH SCREAM TOGETHER THE DECIBELS ARE TOO HIGH!!!

oh, just kidding, it was only some hobo banging on the bus for no reason. haha! gotcha! oh, post traumatic stress disorder from watching a guy's head go off like your uncle's 4th of july fireworks show, it's hilarious.

back at the studio, joey and cameraman and other guy whose role i don't know at this point in time are all watching tapes, and other guy is like "listen you gotta show em some thigh and then you'll be an anchorwoman." i mean, just show me some thigh, just a little. i don't need a whole lot. well, joey wants to do this the right way, because she's an upstanding heroine who's not gonna sell herself out.

also she told them about the hospital horror show and surprisingly, they're not jumping all over that to believe it instantly. well, joey knows what she saw gosh dang it, and you do, too, unfortunately, thanks to my screenshots.

other guy's name is brad, which is very much an other guy name. brad.

ohhhh nononono, i don't want to be here, i'm not going in there.

the boiler room is a shitty club you have to pay $10 to get into, then once inside you have to look at, like, artists' renditions of death metal baby cirque du soleil performers. i don't know about you, but i feel right at home.

hey can anyone make sense of this outfit? asking for a friend.

joey tells a bartender she's looking for a pretty girl, and he's like, "oh yeah go that way." shocked that he wasn't like, "mmm, have you looked in a mirror? asking for a friend."

okay, and then we're in this place, with class and violins? is this part of the boiler room? is this an off-shoot of the boiler room? is this a restaurant next door whose owners lament "those fucking punk kids" next door with their rabble-rousing and their bloody chains?

oh hey, it's mr. late-night art connoisseur. he owns... either the boiler room or the restaurant, or both if i could figure out the relationship between the two. he tries to give joey a rose and she's like no thanks pal.

meanwhile hot topic is right over here. just... just look a little... a little farther to your left... just a little more...

and now we're doing saving private ryan! if i had an explanation for this aside from "somebody slipped me acid at work and i didn't notice until now", i would tell you.

joey didn't realize she had tickets to saving private ryan but here she is, watching the carnage. anyway spoiler alert it's all just a dream of her dad dying in vietnam or something.

the phone wakes her up and it's hot topic, calling to say she'll come over for a chat. her boyfriend threw her out so she'll trade her, they'll have a chat in exchange for hot topic having a place to sleep. joey's on board so let's see what's up with this girl.

this is how i sit everywhere i go, real fact.

hot topic's first question is what joey was dreaming about, and joey's like girl why do u care? it was just scenes from apocalypse now, don't you ever dream about that?

that fucking music starts again, the orchestral devil summoning one. they talk about dreams, and hot topic says it sure is cool, being able to have a dream, because she never has. girl... have you ever reached REM? are you all right? how are you alive?

"hey, this is great, isn't it? i mean, just, uh... two girls talking. having a conversation." yep, just in here having a conversation, delicately dodging the fact that beelzebub is out there waiting to knock down everybody's doors.

hot topic peer pressures joey into a cigarette and says, "what, do you think you're gonna live forever?" um, YEAH, she's gonna live like nine hundred years thanks to the worm inside her, thank you very much.

"OH," hot topic says, "you wanna talk about THAT?" yeah, that, the six flags halloween fright fest show that happened in the hospital. she says she doesn't know the kid, that he must have taken "it" from "the statue". ohhh dear. there that cube goes, getting touched all over by wandering hands.

OH GOD NO IT'S WORSE THAN I THOUGHT SHE HAS THE CUBE, I REPEAT, SHE IS IN POSSESSION OF THE CUBE. get that out of here it's dirty and you definitely have no idea where it's been. you have no idea whose guts have been splattered on it.

back at the weird boiler room ranch, danny zuko overlooks his bizarro domain, thinking about all the good times he's had here, all the sweet nights, all the instances of kids picking up devil cubes on his property and being speared with the metal that flies out of them.

pitiful crying noises there's the hole where the cube used to be and i'm peeing myself. god don't let anything come out of that hole i am BEGGING YOU MERCIFUL LORD

don't TOUCH IT OH MY GOD DO NOT STICK YOUR HAND IN THAT HOLE! OH MY GODDDD

I'M GONNA LOSE ITHFKDGHKAFKLG don't go digging around in this portal to the 9th circle oh my god please i'm holding my face bracing myself for this guy to lose his arm and spray blood like a hose

YEP SOMETHING CHOMPED DOWN ON HIM OHHHHHH SWEET JESUS i regret this i regret every choice that brought me to this moment in my life

here's the thing, all it was was a giant rat? but now...

something's happening...

theeee statue's sucking his blood in nnnoooohohohoho

ohhhhhh no HANG UP ZOZO. GET OUTTA HERE.

but this idiot's having the time of his life while the rabies from that rat sets in.

i can't take any more of this tonight i'm TOO PEEPEE SCARED and also it's after midnight and i need sleep. which i CAN'T GET NOW having gazed into the vortex of my demise.

scale of one to ten, this was a thirteen on horrible ideas, my computer is haunted now, i'm haunted, the hellraiser is coming FOR ME PERSONALLY, just as soon as he's done siccing his rats on unsuspecting frat bros slash business owners. ugh. UGH.

anyway, check out the hellraiser theme, it's tight: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kswWeezE7hA

i'll see you again soon for more abject terror!

The Apple Doesn’t Fall Far

Okay so this is basically a do over from a previous post I made for a Gravity Falls fanfiction I figured I’d just throw out there. The original post was so bad I decided to delete it and do it with some effort this time. So here goes nothing. 

So this is my first time posting something on here so bare with me. This started as a small late night ‘hey what if' AU that kinda snowballed into a something that spans the series and moves beyond it. It started out simple but has evolved to include (but not limited to) the Whole Pines Family, Bill, Manly Dan* (because he’s a damned good character that has endless potential for development beyond just shipping with Tyler no matter how cute that is), and an endless list of other crazy random crap. So with that being said I decided to post it here just because someone might enjoy it. Please feel free to let me know what you think**. The first half of the first chapter was posted originally on Tumbler with the title 'I have no bloody idea what to call this; The Gravity Falls Fanfiction.'***

I’ll post the chapter here though it’s also  here on AO3  (<--click here for link) if you prefer with a better summary and tags and all that. So with out further a due I resent to you....

The Apple Doesn’t Fall Far

Chapter One: Harvest Season

Rating:Mature

Archive Warning:Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings

Categories:F/M, Gen,

Fandom:Gravity Falls****

Relationships:"Manly" Dan Corduroy/Original Female Character(s)Stanley 'Stan" Pines & Original Character

Characters:Original Female Character, Stanley "Stan" Pines, "Manly" Dan Corduroy,Ford Pines, Mabel Pines,Dipper Pines,Bill Cipher

Additional Tags: Pines Family ,Illegitimate Pines Child,Hurt/Comfort, Bonding,The Return of Bill,OC Insert into Series

Language:English

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June 2009

 “...and remember no refunds,” Stan called as the last group of tourists left for the day. It was peak season for them and he’d made a killing in the last week. Closing the door to the gift shop he let out a long low groan as he stretched. Glancing over at the cash register he threw a half smile at the red headed girl who stood behind it. He’d hired Wendy Cordery at the beginning of the summer when he’d over heard her and complaining loudly that Dan had told her to find a job or he was sending her upstate to his brother’s logging cam. She was a hard worker and didn’t give him too much lip, he could see her working out well.

“Good work today kid. You better be getting home before it gets dark or yur Dad will come looking for me,” he told in a gruff but affectionate voice causing her to smile as she made a bee line for the door, “Soos come give Wendy a ride home then go home,” he called glancing out at the creeping twilight. He didn’t care if the girl had run wild in the woods her whole life he didn’t want her running around by herself at dark. It seemed the weirdness was always more active in the summer and that creepy moth guy had been around the shack the last few nights batting at the lights the marked the drive. Sure he seemed harmless enough but he didn’t want to risk it. Like magic his faithful man child appeared out of thin air.

“Sure thing Mr. Pines. See you tomorrow dude,” he laughed cheerfully as he too headed for the door. As the bell jingled behind the young man Stan let out another heavy sigh locking it. He should be heading down to the basement; he had found a cash of maps last week behind a pile of barrels that might give him a lead to the other books. Looking at the vending machine he decided he should at least eat something first; today had been long and tomorrow would be too.

Wandering into the kitchen he opened the door of the fridge and peered in. A handful of Pitt cola, a half empty bottle of ketchup, and a carton of take out from Greasy’s that was probably old enough to vote stared back at him from the shelves. Deciding that food was over rated anyways he moved a few cans before finding the last survivor of a six pack of Hairy Lager. Cracking the beer open he shuffled into the living room and flopped down in his chair. He’d just rest a minute before heading down he told himself as he leaned his head back and closed his eyes. Taking a drink he loosened his tie slouching heavily into the familiar cushions.

He wasn’t sure how long he sat but it felt like an eternity and an instant before his ears perked up. It was faint but the sound of the woods at twilight was broken by the rumble of a distant engine. It approached and he hoped it was just one of he local teens on a dirt bike but a moment later the engine cut off outside the shack. He heard the crunch of boots on gravel as who ever it was moved towards the door, he’d already shut the lights off and flipped the sign so he figured whoever it was would see that and turn around. His theory was disproved a moment later by three loud knocks. Growling he didn’t bother to move until the knocks came again a bit louder.

“WE’RE CLOSED!” he barked annoyed at the disturbance. A split second of silence came before another series of knocks this one heavier and more insistent. Growling he pushed himself up, he was in no mood for this. Turning to the door his hand went to his pocket slipping the knuckle dusters that rested there on just in case.

“I said we’re closed so go fu…,” he trailed off as he wrenched the door open only to fall silent at the woman he found there. She was tall for a woman and built like a brick house; broad shoulders and an ample chest that was all but spilling out of the dark colored tank top she wore. Black cargos were slung low on wide hips and he couldn’t help but notice that she had legs for days. Big green eyes stared at him with a gaze that was sharp and a touch shrewd as full lips the color of cherries pulled into a determined line. A mess of coal black hair was pulled away from her face in a sloppy bun giving him full view of high cheek bones, arched brows, and a strong jaw that tapered down into a point. Her nose was a bit pronounced but not in an unattractive way with a slender bridge though his years of boxing told him that it had been broken at least once.

In fact she looked a bit rough over all with a faint scar that looked like a bullet wound on hip peaking out from the sliver of exposed skin at her waist line and the sleeve of bright tattoos that covered her right arm. Over all she was a looker, a bit reminiscent of the pin ups from his high school days but with a harder edge. And too young for him to have any real interest besides looking. While she looked old enough to drink and maybe rent a car she didn’t look even half his age. And while he was a lot of things cradle robber wasn’t one of them. Shame in his younger days he would have killed to have such a woman knocking on his door at night.

“You Stanford Pines?” she asked the smooth southern drawl of her voice a bit surprising. His eyes narrowed suspiciously as he looked her up and down again. There was something about her that was almost familiar and that sent up a few more red flags along with her question.

“Who’s askin’?” he demanded and a slight smirk pulled at the corner of her lips as she took a deep breath as though to steady herself for something.

“I’m Billie…errr Willimina Pisano,” she told him in a matter a fact tone, “Your niece.”

“What?” he said dumbly staring at her. Shermie had one son and that was it. Not that his older brother had been the sort to sleep around (that had always been Stan if he was honest), and the idea that Sixer would have even taken the time to look at a woman let alone sleep with one was absurd. Given that he cocked a brow in suspicion as he looked down at her.

“I think you got the wrong guy,” he said and her jaw tightened a fraction.

“Look about 29 years ago your brother Stanley and my ma had a fling. Needless to say it didn’t last, and by the time she knew I was around..,” she rolled one shoulder in a dismissive shrug, “Let’s just say she had better things to do then bother with somethin’ as trivial as trying to let him know,” she finished a certain venom to the words. Not that he took much notice. If what she said was true then Ford was her uncle; except he wasn’t really Ford. Composing himself he crossed his arms to look at her coldly.

“That’s quite a calm, you got any proof?” he asked coolly even as panic lights and sirens went off in his brain. A sly smirk pulled at her lips that felt too familiar as she  jerked her head to the side in acknowledgement of his question.

“You’re some fancy scientist, right? There’s a specific recessive gene in roughly 3% of the population that can cause fully formed extra digits. The Pine’s family carries this gene. But you already know that, right Stanford?” she chuckled as she held up her left hand. A left hand that had six fingers splayed out for him to see. His eyes skipped over the digits counting them over and over again as his heart plummeted into his stomach only to crawl up into his throat and stick there. Giving him an uncomfortable smile she dropped her hand tucking it in her pocket as she continued.

“That aside your brother’s DNA was in the Feral System due to…extralegal activities. I know a guy who owed me a favor so I had it tested. I got a copy if you wanna see it,” she told him as she withdrew an envelope from her back pocket with her other hand and tossed it on the table inside the door. His eyes snapped from her pocket up to her face as she waited in stony silence. Staring at her wide eyed and slack jawed he realized what was familiar about her; she looked like his mother. And now that he saw it he couldn’t unsee it. And that meant…. Shaking himself he refused to finish that thought.

“Ho…why? Why are you here?” he stammered and she gave another half shrug.

“Well my kidney’s are failing and close relatives are most likely to be a match,” she trailed off and he felt the blood drain from his face. She stood for a split second staring at him before she let out a sharp bark of laughter. “Relax, I’m kiddin’. Look I don’t want nothin’ from yuh. I know Stanley died a few years after I was born in a car crash. I don’t expect you to do anything about this I just figured you might wanna know,” she told him calmly, “You know in case you need a kidney some day. Now given you look like yur about to pass out I’ll be takin’ my leave. I’ll be at the Twin Bed outside of town if you…y’know have any questions. If you don’t I understand, and you’ll never see me again,” she told him giving a half wave with her left hand before turning on her heel. His eyes followed her as she sauntered off the porch over to the bike he’d heard earlier, a Sportster from the 70’s he noted absently. Hoping nimbly onto it the machine roared to life and she took off like a bat out of hell down the road that lead to the Shack.

He wasn’t sure how long he stood in the doorway staring down the empty road but by the time he moved the sun had long vanished and the stars shone brightly over head. Closing the door he locked it and headed for the living room all thoughts of the maps gone from his head. His legs felt like lead as he returned to his chair sitting down heavily, only to quickly stand back up and snatch the envelope from beside the door. Retreating to his chair one more he all but ripped the paper out and read it. Then reread it only to repeat the process about a dozen times. Choking a little he slumped back into the cushions his eyes finally focusing on the lifeless TV. Staring at the blank screen he couldn’t manage to form a coherence thought as he reached over and brought his now warm beer to his lips. Swallowing the whole thing in three gulps he set it down heavily.

“Fuck,” he said to his reflection in the dark glass.

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*eventually. Like I said there's a fair amount that happens in the time line of the series and while Dan makes a few appearances the series era posts will focus more on the Pines family dynamics and the Dan OC story line picks up after the series

**Trolls and Flamers will be unceremoniously ignored, because I seriously have better things to do than feed you

***I said I'd get around to coming up with a better title and and I did...eventually. I have a million talents coming up with snazzy eye catching titles isn’t one. I'm not even 100% sure that the current title is all that great. Don’t judge me I'm and author not a Marketing person.

****Duh

2018-09(AUG)-26th--August--Sunday---no rain--utter despair without being with dear Fliss--woke up around 4am and considered suiciding.

2018-09(AUG)-26th--August--Sunday---no rain--utter despair without being with dear Fliss--woke up around 4am and considered suiciding.

Overnight it was VERY cold, even with the gas heater on, and even being under the blankets, and with poor dear Sam and poor desar Max on the bed with me cuddling up close because it was so damned cold...and because dear Fliss is not with us as they also used to cuddle up with her closely too and kept her warm.

Poor Max is still in a lot of pain,

I was bleeding last night. Quite a lot of blood from such a small wound. It was entertaining to watch how much blood came out of me...but I had to stem the blood flow because it was messily covering everything and the poor dear dogs were starting to lap at it wherever it fell.

And it was VERY COLD outside. And VERY WET with condensation, almost as bad as if it had been raining heavily.

I KNOW YOU DON'T CARE. I'm just painting a mental picture for you of facts.

Shitheads loudly making noise and shit and roaming the streets last night. And of course the next day there was crime shit in the news(s).

Right up until 10pm and then suddenly thugs on the street went quiet and vanished.

Poor Sam and poor Max both became distressed several times overnight from the wandiring shitheads in the streets.

I wish I still had my guns.....

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Woke up well before dawn because shithedas had aoken poor Sam and poor Max and they both thought that dear Fliss had arrived here...and sodid I. - After they came back inside from doing their ablutions outside, here were VERY heavily depressed. I had to call poor Sam away from him looking out forlornly and terribly so sad. Then I fed them. And once again we all went outside again. It was colder still.

I put the gas heater back on for them and me because it was so damned cold. I'll be blamed for that and made to feel like shit.

We went back to bed. Didn't sleep but poor dear Sam and dear Max did. I got up out of bed, still cold, and went to the nearby shop and got a fresh bread loaf, fresh milk and sliced bread. We all had some of that for breakfast.

I was denied going back to sleep again.

I checked the weather report forecast and there is going to be DAYS of VERY heavy rain coming, so this afternoon I've spent hours in pain carefully cleaning up the yard and more so I don't have to do it when it's going be be pouring down with heavy rain. But I'm never given any kudos for any of that thinking. I just get blamed later when it rains. It's ALWAYS my fucking fault it rains and whenever shit-for-brains gets soaked.

I was the only one in the streets today mowing the grass whilst others were drunkenly yelling out and carrying on. Some residents grass height is absolutely huge. The heavy rains to come will only make it all worse. I'm not fucking well mowing THEIR grass for them. Fuck 'em.

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I initially thought today was Monday because I've had so very very little sleep, and triple short sleeps, and what sleep I had was terrible and with nightmares of me looking for dear Fliss and of her being injured somewhere and nobody let me be anywhere near here or told me where she was. That was some of the nightmare I woke up from.

Welcome to then being suicidal. It's the only thing I've got ahead of me in this shitty fucking life.

Fed poor Sam and poor Max and took them outside and they performed ablutions ALL OVER the damned yard, which I then had to clean up for hours. Went back to bed. Then got some bread. Which I shared mightily with poor dear Sam and dear Max. Then laid down again in pain. Until Poor Sam and poor Max leapt off the bed in a huge panic because some guy walking the streets outside with 4? yappy small dogs were just outside our place and looked like was going to actually come inside the yard. Why? Who knows, fuck knows......

Other dogs all around went ballistic too and poor Sam and poor Max had to be taken outside by me in case they needed to more ablutions (they did), and once again I had to clean it all up AGAIN....and it was then I decided to get up in the cold (but not VERY COLD anymore) and do the yard work which took many hours and has left me in a lot of pain.

It all looks neat and tidy as best it can, far better than all the other places about this hellhole area. But it's all fucking pointless.....

I've had a hot shower, the first one in days since I'm not allowed to have any more because apparently according to the 'great sage' of bullshit and brainlessness, I use too much water....FFS........and that's a fucking lie. -- The COST of water has skyrocketted here and has been implemented but that fool just blames ME for the rising water bill cocts despite us using FAR LESS WATER THAN WE HAVE EVER EVER USED IN OUR TIME HERE IN 50 YEARS OR MORE....

And this is the SAME person that CONSTANLY leaves taps running water ....taps I am ALWAYS running around and turning off. Whenever I've tried to tell him that it's HIM leaving them running, he gets angry, irrattional, and is prone to violence. - Yeah, I'm in fucking shitty hell.

Poor Sam and poor Max have not had their full quota of food. They're abluting far too much outside, which I'm constantly cleaning up. They do NOT go hungry. I feed then some of my food when I have some on the rare times when I do actually eat.

I'm feeling VERY VERY weak and tired and dizzy. I'm going to take something and go to bed and hopefully I can sleep. But will be DENIED sleep because of shitheads outside. ie. there's three sets of tyre burnouts on the street just outside my bedrom window, and then there's the loud motrobikes tearing around at all hours....some come and go through the pedestrian walkway....no police sirens as usual being after them.....the shits use the pedestrian walkways to evade Police....it's common and all the criminals do it.....and it's passed on to others so that it's adopted as being 'normal' at this fucking hellhole area.....

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Whilst I was trying to go to sleep last night amongst some of that shit going on, I VERY foolishly had dear hopes and dreams of being with dear Fliss and away from this hellhole.

It's been 'fine' weather but very cold the past few days. Rain will replace all that. Heavy rain, thunderstroms and so on. Power outages you name it.

With a bit of luck, some shitheads will get killed by accidents or whatever. But that's never a certainty.

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I think my (own copies) of my legal Will has been stolen by shit-for brains. As well as dear Fliss's Wills. - All my worldly belongings is legally down in my legal WIll to dear Fliss, Felicity Ann Carthew. I made that legal Will many years ago with dear Fliss when she was here with me and imbecile was right off his brain, VERY VIOLENT, and insane. - YEARS LATER....He STILL wanders the house talking to himself all the time, louldy at times, and he sputters and curses and swears and has full conversations with imaginary people in his demented talkings. Since it's all coming out of his own demented head, they of course agree with everthing he says to them. (unlike in real life of course).

Poor dear Sam and poor dear Max are forever upset and on-edge because of this madman. He doesn't care for them at all. and considers them utter pests for getting in his way for walking or just existing near him.

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Getting tired......taking something (repsonsibly) to accelerate myself to being unconscious and to sleep......a sleep I am NEVER EVER ALLOWWED TO FULFILL HAVING.......

So fuck this shitty uncaring world.

I wish I could win Lotto big and restart a life anew with dear Fliss.

I believe SHE IS SUFFERING, but I have no details of other information.

I have been lied about and falsly blamed for all of dear Fliss's terrible mental maladies and physcal problems, and I have become a convenient whipping boy so Fliss's family doen't have to tell anyone ANYTHING in the world the real truths of dear Fliss and of the family themselves.

All THAT was constantly preying, upon dear Fliss increasinly so, in dear Fliss's mind as she was forever trying to battle her demons in her head and body as well as the ones from her family and relations, both real and imaginary, as wwell as at her workplaces where she was also victimised.

I lovingly protected dear Fliss from so much........

But I have been BLAMED and LIED ABOUT for SO MUCH........

All I want to be is reunited with dear Fliss and living a normal proper life without her being persecuted and blamed for every little tiny thing that goes wrong in her life........or our lives together....

But nobod cares about dear Fliss and myself. Nobody want to help. And nobody can help.

And fucking nightmares and night horrors are once more an almost constant state of being for me again. Any and everything I have tried for years to lovingly reuinite dear Fliss and myself has been thwarted and destroyed by others, and all blame smashed down upon me. - All contact with dear Fliss has been destroyed and us both kept from ANY open communication. And this has been going on for so many YEARS......

OH for fucks sake.......NOW THIS is started just before it got dark...a VERY noisy LOUD motorbike (unregistered heap of shit no doubt) has just come tearing out of the pedestrian walkway, road along the roads and to the Koongamia shops where abo kids cheered it on then it returned at speed and went back through the pedestrian walkway to one of the many abo crimnal households in Bellevue there. -- So much for trying to fucking sleep! -- I hold no faith in the Western Australian Police in EVER stopping these fucking shits, and criminals.....THIS HAS BEEN GOING ON FOR SO MANY MANY MANY MANY YEARS.......

With good luck, the fuckers will end up dead in fatal incidents hereabouts or elsehere....it's traditional....and a forever huge source of monetary 'compensation' to the ones who have brought them up to be shitty criminals......

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I love you dear Fliss and want to be with you.

ALWAYS remember Fliss that I ALWAYS wanted to be with YOU. ALWAYS! - So does poor dear Sam and poor dear Max. They miss you TERRIBLY and they howl for you in their sleep!

Criminals and shitheads rising up again at this hellhole area.....I wish I still had my guns......but I was foolish and 'reponsible' because many years ago I handed them all in to Police for destruction all my legal firearms in with a huge amount of ammunition. - What a fool I was.

I love you dear Fliss and want to be with you.

Dear Cath in Queensland, I miss you too. (you were Fliss's closest friend in Australia).....all her other 'friends' were all over the world...'internet friends'........many were fake friends though......

All my other friends in my life who have all wandered away with their own lives and families....I've missed you all too.

I've missed being surrounded by real people who are honest and can be trusted....not like the scum about this hellhole area.........

I love you dear Fliss and want to be with you.

Oh, and one last thing.....the moment I try to post this entry up online, Tumblr fucks me around and stops me from logging on to my account and demands it send a password to me so I can log in THAT way. - WELL...I'm STILL FUCKING WAITING 40 minutes later!!! -- How many fucking times does this happen...FFS........

Today was okay-ish. Not great really. I'm still just in a weird space, mentally. Still can't get my mind to stop racing. I did call my psychiatrist today but he wasn't in that office today, but they took a message and said they'd have him call me, and asked if I needed to be today, so I said I mean it's okay if it's tomorrow but today would be preferable. I didn't get a call back today. Sigh. And it's just that much more difficult now that I'm working 9-5 because when am I supposed to do things like call my psychiatrist or anyone else that is only open 9-5? When am I supposed to go to the doctor ffs? I have one appointment scheduled for late June at 8 am. I'm sure that's gonna go over well with my brain. Sigh. Now I'm getting worked up over this which is the last thing I wanted to do. I think I'm gonna go up to 4 mg of Xanax a day though. It's still within the threshold he said I could try to figure out. I just want to talk to him about it because this guy knows my brain better than probably even me and when something that used to work is no longer working it's not a good sign. I should move on now though. Alarm went off at 7 and I successfully convinced myself to get out of bed by 7:01. Got ready, poured my cocoa krispies and then looked at my milk and it had apparently curdled when the refrigerator does was stuck open for some reason when I got home yesterday. Great. At least I figured it out before I poured it onto my cereal. So I hurried around grabbing some oatmeal (one of the disposable cups) and some cinnamon toast eggos. Made the bus so that's good. I got to the office and went to go see my supervisor but she wasn't in her office, so I just went back to mine and started working on the stuff she gave me yesterday. Not that long after she showed up at my office and said she was gonna be taking a personal half day but would make sure I had enough work, and that she'd probably be going down to court at 10:30 if I wanted to join her so I said sure. Kept working until then, then went down to court and absolutely nothing interesting happened when I was hit by another one of my wow you're going to close your eyes every 3 seconds now and be incapable of keeping them open spells that I've been getting lately when I'm sitting still and focusing on one thing, and at some point after that started my supervisor came over and said it looked like all the cases were just getting dates so it wasn't gonna be interesting if I wanted to go back upstairs. I'm not sure if she saw that I was visibly falling asleep or not, lol, but I took the out. It was a little past 11 at this point and I think then was when I called my psychiatrist. Then I didn't really have any work to do so I closed my door and set my alarm for noon and took a nap. I woke up at like 11:45 so I was probably only "out" for like 30 minutes, which I figured I'll just work through my lunch to make up for so it'll be fine. I mean, power naps are a thing right? And as long as I get the work done it's not like anyone cares, so....not a big deal lol. So I then opened my office door and started conversing with the two ladies who have the offices across and next to mine. The offices are kind of set up mostly in these 3 pod systems, and this is the first time I'm actually in a full 3 pod, since first semester the office next to mine was empty and last semester I was just kind of off in a corner. So we talked as we worked and that was cool. One of the ladies gave me some DCP packets to do, which they seem to think is like the worst thing ever and kept apologizing for giving me such a boring assignment and I'm like.....dude, I spent an entire semester doing this basically. This is child's play lol bring on the packets I can do them all. So I did all 4 then reported back to her and expressed my concern about the investigation into the last one that was somewhat lacking (whenever an allegation gets unfounded on the grounds that "it's the kids word versus the foster parents word so I'm gonna believe the foster parent" the kill bill sirens start going off in my head). So that was good. She then asked if I wanted to do some trial prep for a TPR, so I spent the rest of the afternoon sorting through a rather large file to write up a timeline of services that mom and dads 1&2 did or did not do (no polygamy, just two different dads for two kids). It wasn't terribly thrilling but it was fine. I left right around 5 to catch the 5:13 train, which I'm gonna have to start leaving a little bit earlier for because the last two times it's been a few minutes early and I've barely made it (it's typical for me to get in anywhere between 8:50 and 9, so I figure 5 minutes here or there evens itself out). Trip home was fine, quickly threw some dinner together and tuned into the flash, most of my excitement stemming from knowing that watching this week's episode meant getting to next week's episode when my bby Len is coming back haha so more of a means to an end than anything else, but I actually really liked the episode! I definitely like, snorted when they showed that in wiping Barry's memories they screwed over Savitar too and now killer frost was like welp, gotta help them fix it lol. The scene with her and Cisco though, like stop it broke my heart so much <\3 like JUST LET CAITLIN BE HAPPY DAMMIT IT ISNT THAT HARD UGHHHH so that made me sad. The main part with Barry was pretty comical, him and Iris were adorable together even with the inevitable this isn't their reality looming over their heads. And they managed to get the probable cause hearing fairly by the book, so I didn't get too pissy over that (I mean, there's no way that would be the only possible way to keep the guy in custody and he would HAVE to be released otherwise, so that part was totally unrealistic, but I realize that was just a necessary plot point). But overall I really liked the episode and then of course the first shot of the preview had me flipping a shit immediately because LEN IS STANDING IN FRONT OF THE WAVERIDER and we already know he was wearing oculus clothing in other shots on the sizzle reel and ugh.......I really don't want to get my hopes up but I can't help it, they're already sky high. I really wouldn't be surprised if it's another fake out, though I would probably be the angriest I've been with them at this point. I guess we'll see where that goes. It took me about 6 minutes to remember that prison break comes on right after the flash (and by remember I mean going to the my shows list to watch B99 and see oh shit it's recording) but I caught up to live pretty quickly. I felt pretty distracted during this week's episode, probably just due to weird mental head space again. But I'm glad they're making progress and then they were like 3 episodes left!!! and I was like what????????? This is way too short lol. But I'm very much looking forward to that teased Michael/Sara reunion for next week because I know it's gonna be epic. Lol, at the end of the episode they're like "Michaels dying!" and I was like lol, when is Michael Scofield not dying? Also, at this point I'm just convinced Michael doesn't know how to give up on anything so he just keeps trying crazier and crazier ideas until one of them inevitably and inexplicably works. But I am enjoying that. So after that, I did watch Brooklyn 99. I may be totally wrong on this, but I could've sworn B99 used to be a half hour show??? I'm probably just wrong but I definitely thought that. This episode at least seemed very distinctly split into two parts, both of which were pretty great. The Rochester partying was hilarious of course as was them recreating what happened. Then there was the whole Amy/Jake storyline with her taking the sergeants exam that led to that super sweet scene of him just being like this is your dream and it's been your dream before we started going out, I've always known you were gonna be my boss anyway and it was really adorable (and then he went all die hard and it was really funny). And yeah, that pretty much capped my tv for the night. I got into a Twitter DM convo with one of the DCTV podcast hosts (I'm being intentionally vague here) regarding the appearance of the waverider in the trailer and they weren't happy about it and was just kind of ranting at legends and normally we just have stupid and amusing conversations about our shows so it got kind of awkward for a minute there but we both calmed down and were like okay it's fine people have opinions lol. And plus they have an entire podcast to rant to about their opinions, so the need to do it to me personally isn't really there. We're fine though, I like them and I enjoy talking to them. And that was pretty much my day. Tomorrow is Wednesday and my third day at "work" for summer. Did I mention I'm the only law clerk in the office right now? My name looks so lonely on the sign in sheet, lol. Most people are still in finals, I just finished really early and wanted to make sure I made it back in time for the child death case to be up so here I am. I'm probably the only law clerk in the building at this point 😂 but yeah, as far as I know I'll finally be going iron the field (maybe I should pack a change of clothes? We didn't discuss this) or maybe she's coming to the courthouse but I'll be interviewing a 5 year old girl who was removed from her mother's care about 2 weeks ago after reports of physical abuse and that mom was a heroin addict with visible track marks on her arm, and she was always referring to her daughter as "that little bitch" and like throwing her around, and also they were living in like complete desolation, like there were holes in the floor and no heat (and this is Chicago and even though ITS FUCKING MAY it's still been freezing) and many other such examples and yeah, it wasn't good. The DCP investigator seemed to think the girl appeared as a normal happy, healthy 5 year old so that's encouraging. I guess we'll see how that goes. Okay, time for bed now. Goodnight punks. Stay awesome.