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#manly dan
inbarfink · 1 year
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jon-bongg-jovi · 1 year
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NEW GRAVITY FALLS FAN THEORY UNLOCKED
Cw: suicide mention, Gravity Falls spoilers
in season 2 episode 7 of gravity falls, during the scene where the twins are on the road in the fed truck, i noticed something.
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on the back of manly dan’s lumber truck, there are 3 notable bumper stickers.
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there’s the obvious sev’ral timez sticker, which is pointed out in the scene, the american flag, and a yellow ribbon.
if you’re in the mentally sparkly club, which i assume you are because this is tumblr, you might know that the yellow ribbon symbolises suicide awareness and prevention.
which, first off, cute, alex hirsch. love u man.
second,
that got me thinking.
wendy’s presumed mother (manly dan’s wife) is not mentioned in the show. ever.
i always assumed she was out of the picture in some way
but what if wendy’s mom committed suicide?
it makes sense. idk. i’m high as fuck and i could be totally wrong but food for thought.
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A Corduroy Tragedy
So...I was reading a tumblr post focused on Wendy (and the Wendip ship, which...I still don't care for, honestly. I mostly read it for the Wendy lore) and I came across something interesting.
And its from the Lost Legends comic. Like Journal 3, it too has hidden messages and I wanted to get mine so I can verify what was said in the post.
I don't have it immediately available at the moment (I left it in my mom's room and she's asleep, so I don't want to disturb her), but according to the post, the message had something to do with Wendy's mother.
And it's that she isn't die at some point, like many of us probably assumed (under the assumption that not everyone is privy to this).
The message hinted that she's trapped in another dimension. Sort of like Ford, but not really. Like, I don't think she's dimension hopping. She's trapped in one place. Perhaps this could give the idea that there are random portals/rifts than can appear and disappear.
And Wendy's mother accidentally encountered one and vanished without a trace. As for when...hard to say. Obviously, it was some time after the birth of Wendy's youngest brother, Gus.
We also don't know the ages of the Corduroy bros (except for being less than 15, since Wendy's the oldest child) and Marcus having facial hair surprisingly wouldn't help in this case because it could be a Corduroy thing, sort like how Wendy's height is a Corduroy trait.
Still, I'll take the facial hair for consideration just to make things easy. Of course, facial hair starts appearing during puberty, usually at the age of 13~16 (though some sources say 11~15 for facial hair growing at the corners).
So, I'd make the guessimate that Marcus (the oldest brother) is probably either 14 or 13 years old. The middle brother, Kevin, I'd say could be 3 years younger (11 or 10), and the youngest brother, Gus, is maybe 8.
I personally headcanon that Wendy lost her mother at around the same age as Dipper and Mabel. That headcanon remains true even with this new knowledge. Maybe Mrs. Corduroy went looking for something or went for a walk in the woods and fell through a random rift.
She gets reported missing and despite an extensive search, she was never found. It made no sense to the locals. Mrs. Corduroy knew the woods like the back of her hand, she couldn't've gotten lost. I can kinda see this as a reference to 411 cases.
And, perhaps, an incredible role model to Wendy.
Because...with a family like the Corduroys, I highly doubt that Mama Corduroy was a pansy. No, she was a down-to-earth and strong-willed woman with a sharp wit. She was an inspiration.
And now, she is gone. Vanished without a trace. It left the family devastated and Wendy in a bad headspace. There is a scene with Manly Dan's vehicle where there is a yellow ribbon sticker attached to the back...yeah.
To this day, Wendy still holds out hope that her mom will come back. And when she does, ask why. Even so, she knows that she's gonna have to move on.
This is...somehow more tragic than just having Mrs. Corduroy die in an accident. Because, at least with that, there is confirmation. There is a body. There isn't uncertainty. But, the idea that Mrs. Corduroy just...vanished?
It has a special type of hold...one that will linger for a long time.
Whelp, more angst fodder! Have at it!
...It's 11 pm and I should be asleep, but instead, I wrote this!
Yaaaay...
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I am suffering a bit and I am taking y'all down with me.
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missjeaniebeanie · 10 months
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“In 30 years I’ll look back and laugh at how humiliated I was about to be.”
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sleepsentry · 2 years
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Soos and Melody cosplaying at an anime con. Yes it was one of their first dates duh.
Soos was able to incorporate one of his Abuela's old unused dresses into his costume and she helped him custom embroider the sparkles and hearts and question marks on it.
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headcanonfalls · 5 months
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Round one!
our competitors:
headcanon that Manly Dan knew that Stan wasn't Ford
(no explanation needed)
headcanon that Stan is aromantic
(no explanation needed)
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hasnomoxxie · 1 year
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Gravity falls swap au sjsnsbdn
Swaps are:
Stan - Dipper
Ford - Mabel
Waddles - Gompers
Dan - Wendy
Susan - Soos
Also I saw that Stan was comparing himself to younger dipper, like a LOT during the show so I thought this'd make sense, or at least be interesting for the story. This au would probably not have the identity theft part, but Dipper would've written the Journals for Mabel. That wouldn't have gotten touched on until after Mabel comes back but that's just in my silly headd
I might draw em again in like a comic or at least do the other characters djdndnd
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hellmandraws · 2 years
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Charity commission for @nour386! ✨
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darkspine10 · 2 days
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GF Fanfic - The Deepest Roots
Tangled Roots (33,970 words) by darkspine10
Chapters: 6/7
Fandom: Gravity Falls
Rating: Mature
The sensation of real pain felt almost flat and dull. Yet when Pacifica jolted awake her sore muscles complained and resisted her stretches. The dry earth beneath her was rough against the skin, but that told her that the dirt was tangible. She ran her hands down her body, finding it intact. Her mind less so, but it would have to do for now.
Sitting upright, she could make out the curved walls of a tunnel, roughly hewn through the ground in an oval shape. Placing a palm on the surface she found bare soil. This was a natural cave. She had no idea where she was, nor any recollection of how she’d got here.
The last solid memory she had was of sitting cross-legged in Mabel’s occult annex, before it all became a blur of negative associations and uncomfortably vivid apparitions. Surely she should be sprawled out on Mabel’s floor, spaced out of her mind.
She was startled when a drip of water caught her on the top of her head. That was real enough. The soreness had faded to be replaced by an equally stark absence of heat. She greatly regretted her lack of sleeves, though she’d hardly been expecting to end up underground. Wendy’s hat once again proved its worth, insulating some of the cold. Maybe it really was a lucky charm, she sardonically thought. By some fluke the bandage on her arm remained firmly attached. It had kept her injuries safe from further harm during her bad trip.
Some of her LSD-induced visions, those of travelling across the valley, must have been real enough for her to end up outside and alone. Mabel was meant to have been looking out for her, keeping any unruly symptoms controlled. So much for that. Pacifica groped for her pocket and took out her phone. Switching it on, the screen provided only a weak luminance, enough to show that the cave stretched on in both directions before terminating in inky blackness.
Despite the barrage of lurid imagery she’d endured in rapid succession, evidently the actual time elapsed was longer than she’d assumed. The time listed on her phone showed 3:26am - it had taken her over an hour to make it to wherever she was. She had a stream of missed texts, 17 in total. She scrolled back to the oldest unread message.
“Paz, don’t be alarmed,” Mabel had written in a way that couldn’t help but make her more alarmed. “You kinda burst out of the study so fast I couldn’t stop you!” Pacifica rolled her eyes. It hadn’t taken much to elude her vigilant guardian. “Really sorry! I couldn’t catch you after you ran outside, trust me. You acted like you knew what you were doing though! There was this look in your eyes, you know, a look.” Pacifica didn’t know. “Anyway, good luck with the monkey ;-)” Mabel had probably chosen to call it that to rile her up. Scowling, she was about to fire off a cutting rejoinder when she noticed her phone had absolutely no signal. Not even half a bar could penetrate the soil and rock piled above.
“This is what I get for trusting one of Mabel’s concoctions,” she grumbled.
Faced with no other options, she started walking down the tunnel, choosing a direction at random. For all she knew her path led deeper into the bowels of the Earth. Maybe that wasn’t such a bad thing. If her hallucinations had in fact attuned to the Unshriven then perhaps she was in the right place to find it. Better to accept her predicament than wallow in despair.
She didn’t feel much different as a person after the voyage into her subconscious. Aware of a headache akin to a hangover perhaps, but otherwise unchanged. She still harboured a deep resentment towards her innocent daughter, plus there was her unresolved relationship with Wendy Corduroy, not to mention being plagued with body issues. Those could all wait. Important as it was to try and find meaning imparted by the drug’s imagery, survival was all that mattered until she got out of this freezing hole in the ground. She may have shed some pretensions from childhood, but shivering in a dark pit wasn’t something she could tolerate. Missing her soft bed and silk sheets, she got to her feet and set off in a random direction down the passage.
Walking for a few minutes she assumed she was making good progress through the tunnel, though it was impossible to judge for sure. Though she wasn’t thrilled by this damp, slimy tunnel, every step forward felt important, moving her towards freedom. Then she tripped. She came down on her knees, swearing and sore. Her jeans weren’t ripped but the friction burn would linger. She turned back to see what had caught her off guard. It was the handle of a metal axe.
Pacifica’s eyes widened and she reached the weapon. The design of the handle was unmistakable, fashioned from a sturdy branch and varnished until it shone. The fearsome blade also glinted in the dull light, sharp enough to cut through the darkness. She pressed a finger to the blade, recoiling when she drew a tiny inch of blood. She’d already lost enough of that for today, thank you very much.
This was a Corduroy axe, she was sure. What on Earth was it doing down here? Was Manly Dan prowling about somewhere, in an elaborate game of hide and seek? She was certain she’d seen, or sensed him in her hallucinations. In any case it was wise to arm herself. She lifted the handle and tested the axe’s weight in her grip. It was heavy and would slow her down, there was no getting over that. Yet it could be advantageous. She swung the axe, letting its weight naturally carry it in a wide arc. Yes, this would do for protection in a pinch. It wasn’t the first time she’d wielded an axe. There had been one of Mabel’s endless sentimental keepsakes, a supposed reminder of one of the twins’ earliest adventures. Pacifica had never quite believed the story behind it, of wax figures coming to life, but could admit she’d seen stranger things since then.
Stranger things like the sight that she came upon ten minutes later as her wanderings took her ever onwards. The path through the tunnel had branched out, widening into a cavernous open space. The ground beneath her sloped downwards into a bowl. As far as the light from her phone screen would penetrate it showed a cavern roof 30ft over her head. Freedom was not yet in sight.
Instead she came upon something that told her she was definitely in the lair of the Unshriven. She’d almost walked straight past it, camouflaged in earthy browns along the cavern wall. A hollow, about as tall as she was, in the cave wall. It was overgrown with twisted branches. Using the axe like a crowbar to lever the flimsy blockage out of the way, she recoiled, discovering that the hollow was occupied.
A woman of indeterminate age was wedged into the bedrock, staring out with unflinching eyes. Pacifica found it a disconcerting reminder of how Leah had appeared in her hallucination, flayed and judgmental. But the eyes were the least worrying facet of the imprisoned stranger. Her skin was melding with the bark of the ensnaring roots. These roots grew in an endless sprawl from the cavern base to its apex.
Pacifica had seen people turned into wood before. A twinge of guilt passed briefly over her as she acknowledged that the event on the night of the Northwest part had been her fault. Back then the transformation was terrifyingly static. A brief crying-out before cessation of all life. It had at least been swift. There was a cleanness to the transition, alive one moment, posed for eternity the next. She could have mounted the wooden statue Mason alongside the equally lifeless animal heads lining her parents’ walls and he wouldn’t have looked out of place.
What she was witnessing in front of her right now was entirely different. This was a process, one that was only partially completed. The skin wasn’t a clean wooden varnish, it was a mottled cedar that coated the skin in patches. She could still detect the tiniest muscle movements beneath the surface, though where human body ended and wood began was hard to identify. The hair and clothes remained untouched, as did those staring, vacant irises. Vines crept around the body like a vice, keeping it cocooned against the cave wall.
If there was life left in the poor woman it was only the weakest flicker. It was the life of a plant, creeping towards a strip of sunlight for the barest sustenance.
Shining her light back into the cave, Pacifica realised she was high on the periphery of this open chamber. She slid down the slope into the centre of the space and found that the woman wasn’t alone. She was surrounded by other trapped people. Over a dozen hollows contained men and women, some of whom Pacifica recognised. She’d passed some of them casually in the street, or delivering mail, or at the town pool. In a town as small as Gravity Falls it would be impossible not to become familiar with the majority of the population.
There were other lifeforms too. Shin-high hollows held captured gnomes, their red pointy hats the only splash of colour against ceaseless woody browns. One oversized hollow contained an insectoid creature with a bulbous orb-like head that Pacifica didn’t recognise. The eight spindly legs and a pair of immobile pincers it possessed showed how powerful the Unshriven must be, if he could entrap even this menacing beast. These poor individuals could have been sequestered down here in the dirt for days, or perhaps even weeks.
At the centre of the vast round hall was a tree which supported the entire cavern. It wasn’t like the one in Corduroy’s cabin. This tree was ancient, its bark drained of all colour except ashy black. Gnarled branches snaked across the vaulted roof, while the roots were sunk into the ground on account of the immense weight. Vestigial brown leaves hung in small clumps, decaying or dead.
Amidst the meandering eaves at the top of the cave Pacifica saw in places stone rectangles, embedded. The branches curled around these intrusions. At first she was confused, unable to understand what purpose these structures could serve. Then she noticed one where the soil within the rectangle was fresher, water dripping down off the surface. Mulched bones jutted down into the open space, threatening to hurtle down and shatter. Pacifica swallowed to resist bile at the back of her throat.
Of course. They were beneath the Gravity Falls cemetery. This entire cavern sat innocuously under every coffin and headstone, slowly providing a constant supply of new meat to feed the Unshriven. Of the hideous creature itself there was no sign, for which Pacifica was grateful. This was utterly obscene. If there was any greater intelligence behind the ape’s intentions then it was a cruel and malicious mind.
From down a different passage than the one she’d travelled along Pacifica heard raised voices. She ducked down beneath one of the support tree’s roots. Her hand wrapped around the axe. She wasn’t ready to wield it yet, still unsteady from the lingering high. On hearing the voice more clearly however she stood up, knowing there was nothing to fear.
“Come out! I’ll finish you off once and for all.”
Manly Dan squeezed in through a narrow opening. In his hand was an axe even larger than the one Pacifica was carrying. He held a lantern aloft, revealing his bared teeth, and he bore a look that could have petrified any prepubescent young boy insecure in his masculinity. Pacifica smirked to herself and called out to the burly lumberjack. “Over here. Are you looking for Little Red Riding Hood?” He softened his glare and made his way across the cavern. There was a look of shock on seeing the trapped and mutated prisoners, but he quickly covered up any sign of fear.
“Pines. I thought you’d lost your nerve for the hunt. I shouldn’t have underestimated you, you’re-”
“Stubborn, that’s what I am.” Pacifica smiled. She never thought she’d be so happy to breathe in the musk of sweat and woodsmoke that permeated his clothes. Though, she’d have been happy to see any friendly face in the wake of the night’s events. “Have you seen the Unshriven?”
The lumberjack crouched beside her so they were face to face. In a low voice he said, “No, and I didn’t expect to.” He jabbed a thumb at the feathered amulet, and Pacifica remembered that no-one else would be able to properly perceive the ape. She alone possessed that delightful privilege.
“You’re right,” she said. “It’s starting to make sense, perception is key. A friend of mine suggested there might be some trace elements of a psychoactive substance in the bone. I’m guessing that somehow the proximity to sweat or adrenaline brings out the chemical, allowing one’s mind to properly perceive the Unshriven. Or at least that’s my best working hypothesis.”
Manly Dan nodded, though Pacifica detected a slight glaze over his eyes. She didn’t expect him to take a scientific approach to things. “That may be so, but how on earth did you find the beast’s lair? My family has wrestled with this monstrosity for centuries and you track it back in one night?”
“I guess your family or the natives never found the right mood enhancements. A gaggle of buddhist monks high on pot might have had better luck.” Corduroy seemed baffled by her statement. “The real question is, how did you find this place? It wasn’t exactly easy to get here myself.”
Manly Dan’s eyes were cast downwards. “The beast… claimed one of my boys.”
Pacifica’s mouth flapped open. The Unshriven wasn’t only grabbing people at random. It had a vendetta of its own against the Corduroys. Her palms clenched around the handle of the Corduroy axe. It seemed an appropriate weapon in light of the circumstances. Now there were lives at stake she couldn’t back down.
Corduroy marched over to one of the hollows. Between the wooden bars of the cell Pacifica could make out red hair and a green shirt with a flannel print. That was one of the Corduroys alright, though she stamped down the urge to ask Manly Dan ‘which one?’.
“I followed its tracks but the trail went cold,” he continued, pressing a hand against his son’s cheek. The boy’s transformation hadn’t spread far, with only faint whorls of bark on his cheek giving away his inevitable fate. “Then I saw boot prints leading into this cave. Your footprints, I take it. I doubt I could have entered this space if you hadn’t already shown the way. My mind had never registered the existence of the cave mouth. Like you said I suppose, perception is key.” He stomped around, fists balled like he wanted to hit something. “I should have expected retribution. By bringing an outsider into the fray I’ve upset the balance. The Unshriven has been known to kidnap people without warning, spiriting them away in the dead of night for nefarious purposes.”
Pacifica shoved the lumberjack in the shoulder. “And you didn’t think to tell me this before?! That might have been useful context to know before you sent me out to find the scariest fucking thing in the world!”
“Sorry,” he mumbled.
Pacifica pinched her eyelids and put aside her pride. “You can make it up to me later. Though god knows how. A free axe-throwing lesson? Teach me how to stir-fry a raccoon? Whatever. Right now we have to help your son and the rest of these people. And non-people. You know, Mason and I have got to come to a decision on that, it’s surprisingly hard to settle on terminology. Do we call them cryptids, mystical beings, or just a weird class of people?”
Corduroy shook his head, ignoring her rambling and shining his lantern at the hollows. “I don’t understand it. No-one’s gone missing for years.”
“That might be exactly how long some of these people have been down here. The ape’s sustained itself for over 200 years and I think I know how.” She pointed at the defiled stone rectangles in the roof. “We’re down under the cemetery. In Gravity Falls the graves eat people.”
“My god.” Corduroy angrily thrust his axe into the space between the roots that guarded his son, trying to wedge the boy loose. “This ends tonight.”
“Easier said than done.” Pacifica glanced around, aware that there’d been no sight nor sound of the Unshriven for the entire time they’d been down here. After the pursuit in the forest she couldn’t believe it would leave its food supply so undefended. It could be back at any moment. “You’d better watch out. This thing can hurl branches at a hundred miles an hour.”
Corduroy scoffed. “Of course, why wouldn’t it? Damn widowmaker.”
“Come again?”
“Lumberjack jargon. It refers to loose branches that fall and hit people. Fools who don’t watch their heads around snags are likely to meet an untimely fate. It sounds as if the Unshriven wants to make fools of us all.”
“You might be more right than you think.” Pacifica noticed movement above Manly Dan. One of the branches clinging to the ceiling had surreptitiously snapped in such a way that it dangled over the lumberjack’s head. From that height it would crack his skull.
Pacifica put all her weight into shoving the burly man out of the way. His mass made it a struggle, but she succeeded in clearing the area before the loose branch thudded into the spot he’d been standing. Corduroy got up off his hands and knees, but let out a gasp. Pacifica followed his eyeline towards the central trunk.
The Unshriven was there, sitting in the upper boughs in a reclined position. It couldn’t care less about the intruders. Pacifica went rigid, culled into submission by the ape’s horrifying appearance. Its breaths came out as sonorous stabs, like a foghorn in the mist.
Before their eyes the creature flitted about along the branches. One minute it was prowling towards them on all fours, the next it hung from a limb of the tree, chattering and baring its tusks. Ever closer it came, fading from sight only to reappear in a new position.
“Get ready.” Pacifica took a defensive stance and held the axe close to her chest.
“I can see it,” Corduroy said in a reverent breathless whisper. His eyes matched wherever the creature manifested. He didn’t need the amulet anymore. Not here, Pacifica sensed, not on the ape’s home turf. “After all these years… let’s have it then!” Manly Dan charged forwards, lifting his massive axe as if it weighed nothing. He let out a war cry and the Unshriven roared in return. It had a glint of malice in its vacant eye sockets, Pacifica could detect that much.
She wanted to call out, to tell Corduroy to hold back. It was too late. The Unshriven leapt from its perch at the lumberjack. Manly Dan hefted his axe and swung it in time to catch the beast mid-jump. The silver blade passed harmlessly through empty air. Unbalanced, Corduroy fell forwards. The Unshriven had been a coiled spring and now all that feral energy was unleashed. It cannoned into Corduroy’s chest, reversing the momentum and sending him sprawling on his back. The giant axe whirled through the air. Pacifica felt the force of impact as it came to rest embedded in the cave wall inches from where she stood.
In panic Manly Dan raised his fists over his chest to fight off the ape. It wasn’t there. It had already rematerialised out of reach in the high branches. A satisfied cackle echoed from its chest. There was evil in that sound, not the vocalisations of a mindless brute, but a calculated response to derive pleasure from their suffering.
Pacifica wasn’t going to stand for it. “I’m so done with you!” She lifted her axe and ran to cover Corduroy. If the beast wanted another sacrifice it would have to go through her first. “This is our town! You’re not welcome here!”
The ape took the bait gladly, breaking a piece of wood off with a snap like bones cracking. In a single whirling motion it extended its rubber-hose arms and cast down the sharpened missile. Pacifica ducked, getting out of the way just in time. The twig caught her fur hat and sent it flying. Without a moment to catch a breath she had to dodge out of the way of a second projectile. Her reflexes were slow. The projectile caught her in the side, knocking her down. She groaned in agony. Though she’d just barely avoided taking the shot head on, the glancing blow still hurt like hell. She lightly brushed under her tree t-shirt and flinched in pain. There’d be an almighty bruise on her hip if nothing else.
The Unshriven manifested on the ground, knuckle-walking towards her without apparent haste. Fighting through the pain, she picked up the axe and swung it widely at her enemy. It passed through, dissolving the ape before it reformed, no worse for the wear. It hadn’t even reacted to the swing. Pacifica feebly clutched the amulet, willing her mind to snap back into a heightened state. Whatever trace of the LSD was left in her system wasn’t enough to generate more than a light buzz. Wasn’t this stuff meant to stick around in her system for a few hours at least? Mabel hadn’t been kidding about the lowness of the dosage. Pacifica stumbled backwards and sprawled in the dirt, dropping the axe.
This was hopeless. They couldn’t hurt the beast. She’d been awake for hours, putting her body through stress she hadn’t dreamed of the day before. She was worn out, ready to expire and become another harvested body. Hot, stinking clouds of breath snorted from the creature’s nostrils as it bared its mighty fangs in preparation to penetrate her skull like ripe fruit.
Pacifica thought of her family, Mason, Merrise, and Leah, the latter so helpless without her protection and nourishment. Struck by the horrible acknowledgement that she might never see any of them again, she flashed back to the last time she’d been close to death.
A snare is coiled around my ankle, dragging me towards a waiting enemy. Wendy tosses me her sword, a jagged piece of cold metal. Momentum carried me towards a killing blow. Without that timely throw my life would have ended.
…Momentum.
That was the key. With a burst of energy Pacifica leapt to her feet, grabbing the axe handle and springing up at the Unshriven. It was surprised to see her charging so willingly into the jaws of death, but Pacifica didn’t stop for an instant, building up speed. Wincing through the pain in her hip, she cannonballed into the Unshriven… and passed straight through it without slowing. The Unshriven’s intangible nature became a liability as it clutched at air while Pacifica was already out the other side. If it couldn’t fully manifest in the mundane world then it was little wonder that its primary form of attack was using blunt instruments as missiles. However, there was nowhere she could run to in the cave that she would be safe. The ape cackled evilly at her futile attempt.
Pacifica wasn’t listening, continuing to sprint away from the beast. She hefted the axe in a backhand swing and put all her energy into a follow-through strike. The axe struck the trunk of the central supporting tree sideways on. A fearsome boom like thunder ricocheted around the cavern. Jagged cracks splintered their way diagonally up the trunk.
The Unshriven howled with anguish, loud enough that Corduroy had to plant his gloved hands over his head. Pacifica ignored it, climbing up the branches and taking another swing at the bark. This impact had less weight behind it, barely splitting the wood, so she jumped back down and held the axe out in front of her. “Come on!” she yelled at the Unshriven.
Pacifica had figured it out. The Unshriven didn’t want to eat people, not directly, not when it was sustaining this menagerie of captives. The roots were digging deep, turning them to wood to nourish the central trunk. Killing her with its tusks or claws was simply a defensive measure to protect the larder. If the trunk and the Unshriven were symbiotically linked, then maybe affecting one could affect the other. “It’s not just the ape,” she yelled to Manly Dan, “it’s this whole ecosystem!”
As if to prove her point, the Unshriven flitted onto one of the branches and hissed down at her. It faded away like mist, dissipating into the tree. The entire cavern rumbled. Manly Dan had to roll out of the way as the gargantuan roots slithered up out of the soil and pounded against the surface. The upper branches flexed and writhed. Pacifica had seen this coming and crouched as close to the trunk as she could. The wooden tendrils struck out with the force of a whip, rending out deep gashes of dirt and mud. The bark on the trunk creaked and reformed, creating a furrowed brow and turning the incision Pacifica had made into a distorted frown. Within the crack Pacifica could see a broiling mass of energy the colour of rust, aching to unleash itself.
The stories of Devil’s Lake had sounded grander than one chattering ape. Now Pacifica was seeing the true form of the monster, its limbs more like the grasping tentacles of an octopus than any plant. The light in the chamber became dappled, reflecting the abode of a true dweller of the depths.
One of its branches swung out to knock her down. Pacifica stood her ground and raised the axe, severing the attacking extremity and sending it lifelessly to the ground. The ape figure appeared again, enraged and claws raised to strike. Pacifica mirrored its pose with an aggressive grunt and lofted her axe. The beast faded away at the last second. It was only willing to strike her if it wouldn’t risk being hurt likewise. As long as Pacifica wasn’t cowed and kept up her guard there was no way the beast would attack. Buoyed up by the sense that she was indestructible, she chopped at the trunk again. It was like iron, unyielding. She needed more momentum, more weight behind the swing.
Instead she was set upon by the tendrils. A swarm of them wrapped around her in a split second, constricting her arms. Her feet left the ground as she was hoisted up. One branch the thickness of an elephant’s trunk circled her throat. Still she fought back, flailing her axe.
The tendril wrapped around her throat began to squeeze. At the same time a voice tickled at the back of her mind. It was deep and compulsive. “Give up the struggle,” She looked around dreamily, the voice drowning out her thoughts. It would be so easy just to let go. The voice sounded so compelling. A chill struck her right down to the bone. “You’d make such a delicious feast. All that misplaced resentment, all the heartache, back and forth. You don’t even want that pretty body. Let me take a hold.” The tendrils tightened, tugging on Pacifica’s hair almost hard enough to rend it from her scalp.
Pacifica gritted her teeth and whimpered, her voice barely above a croak. “Shut up! This body may not be perfect, but it’s mine!” She struck out with the axe, hitting the lower end of the branch around her neck and loosening the grip. The voice faded away, replaced with a howling moan coming from within the trunk. “Hands off!”
At the edge of her vision, Pacifica saw Corduroy was on his feet. He seemed to have picked up on the message about the tree and the Unshriven. He’d plucked his massive axe out of the wall, but couldn’t get close through the shifting tentacles that threatened to coil around him. In response he lifted the axe above his head with both hands and hurled it through the air. It struck the core of the tree, sending splinters all up the length of the bark.
Immediately the tendrils slid away, dropping Pacifica. She landed in a crouch and, coughing, hoisted the axe for another strike. She wouldn’t let this window of opportunity that Corduroy had opened go to waste.
The ape re-manifested near Pacifica, but it was wobbly on its feet, delirious from damage. Pacifica made several drunken swings at the beast, but it kept darting away at the last second, as unpredictable as sizzling oil spitting from a frying pan. The Unshriven backed away from her attack. Its morphs between solid and gaseous showed signs of fatigue, covering less distance and taking longer to transition between states. Finally Pacifica backed the ape up against the trunk of its oh-so-important tree. With all her might she took one last swing, impacting the ape as it tried to merge with the tree and inflicting a fatal blow on both. She pulled the axe out and stuck again, immensely satisfied. “Oh that feels good! Eat it!”
The structural weakness in the combined entity gave way and the cracks along the trunk split asunder. Pacifica’s victorious mood faltered when a torrent of blood gushed from the wound. She didn’t even have time to close her mouth before the onslaught of thick fluid washed over her. Choking, she coughed up as much as she could before taking yet another swing at the trunk, and another. She wouldn’t stop until she was sure this thing was dead for good, even as blood poured over her like a waterfall. Shafts of orange spit forth from the cracks in the wood.
The ape’s skull burst forth from the tree in a last gasping cry, its limbs grasping. One hand succeeded in grabbing the amulet, suffocating Pacifica. She easily knocked him away with the butt of her axe. It was the gesture of someone drowning coming up for one last gulp of air but unable to fight the current. When she’d seen the Unshriven die in her dream it had been raw, meaty. Despite the blood, the Unshriven’s real death was far from corporeal. The branches of the tree broke away from the ceiling, withering and ageing to dust in seconds. Blue strands of energy were leached from the Unshriven back to the tree, tearing chunks of fur. In their place remained spectral outlines of tendon and muscle. The skull flaked away, sucked into the vortex at the heart of the destruction, exposing brain tissue.
As the layers peeled away, Pacifica finally saw a pair of eyes emerge from beneath the empty sockets. Two leering eyes, dangling from stalks on a pulsing brain. A coiled nervous system hung below the floating organ. Devoid of gums, a jaw frozen in an unending scream completed the anatomical nightmare. The thing’s expression wasn’t one of fear of dying, but furious hatred, raging at her for defeating it. It put Pacifica in mind of a particularly bloody spaghetti dish. The metaphor became more apt as the Unshriven’s remains were slurped down into the vortex at the heart of the trunk.
All the life inside the tree vanished. Pacifica was briefly afraid the cavern roof would collapse, but the dead stump was enough to hold it up. Leaves drifted down from above like snowflakes, not dead and brown but a warm golden orange. The last trickles of blood pooled around Pacifica’s feet. As a last insult to her enemy, Pacifica grunted with effort and embedded her axe in the trunk. She left it there as a permanent reminder of her victory.
The last of the leaves settled around the roots. Glancing cautiously around the chamber, Manly Dan said, “You… you defeated the Unshriven.”
Pacifica wiped a hand over her face, trying to remove some of the accumulated blood and only succeeding in smearing more of it onto her palm. “I guess it was his time… of the month.”
“What?”
She waved it off. “Bad joke, forget about it.”
Manly Dan’s eyebrow perked up. “The necklace.”
Pacifica’s hand went to her throat. Her neck chafed but that pain would fade. Hanging limply from the torn cord, the shards of Osprey bone and sapphire had been shattered in the Unshriven’s last grasp for freedom. Pacifica slid the amulet over her hair and let the feathers and bone fragments trickle through her fingers. “It’s ok, it served its purpose. I don’t know how it did it, but if it wasn’t for this special charm we would have all been mulched. Besides, I’ve already got one enchanted pendant at home. Two would be excessive of me. I’m trying to give up excess.”
A moaning voice came from the edge of the chamber. Manly Dan’s head snapped to one side and he rushed to his son’s side. “Gus!” There was one small mystery solved.
The bars of Gus’ cell were disintegrating away, coming away soft and flaky in Manly Dan’s hands. The visible effects of the transformation into wooden statue diminished quickly once the young Corduroy was pulled free of the vines. All around the rest of the cavern Pacifica saw the previously incapacitated prisoners begin to stir and wriggle free of the hollows.
“Dad!” The boy was freed from the trap and hugged his father. Manly Dan was holding him tight, tears streaming from his eyes as he laughed. Pacifica found it heartwarming, and shed a tear of her own. She wanted to wipe it away, but her hands were still too bloody.
“NORTHWEST!”
Pacifica instantly froze. She recognised that voice. it boomed throughout the cavern. It had visited her in many dreams over the years, initially unsettling but ultimately leaving her with a feeling of contentment. The amber light that had flared so brightly within the core of the tree shone out again, before dying for good. Instead, the stone markings on the ceiling of the cavern which marked the desecrated graves began to glow an icy blue. Shafts of light shone down, illuminating patches on the floor and casting shadowy figures onto the walls.
The two Corduroys stood, unsure how to react. Manly Dan held a protective arm around his son. Pacifica hesitantly walked towards the shadow of the figure she recognised. Archibald Corduroy. Despite only being a silhouette, she could make out his flaming beard and imposing body. Even like this she could tell he was smiling and nodding towards her. There were other shadows, presumably more Corduroys from decades gone by.
Dan and Gus gravitated towards one in particular, that of a woman, half turned away. Some innate sense told Pacifica that this was the late Mrs Corduroy. She had never even thought to inquire after the fate of Wendy and the boys’ mother. She’d been absent from their lives as long as Pacifica could recall. From the heartache and joy on her family’s faces she was clearly much missed. “Thank you,” Manly Dan mouthed at Pacifica.
Pacifica wanted to smile at the sheer impossible wonder of the moment. Yet she couldn’t feel the same connection, not while a more glaring absence gnawed at her. She was about to speak when she saw more shadows cast on the opposite half of the cavern to the Corduroys. They were hidden in a patch of darkness away from the lantern, but Pacifica set her mouth in a straight line anyway. This was her own legacy. The Northwest in her.
Nathaniel Northwest and her grandpa Auldman stood haughtily, arms folded and disdainful expressions almost detectable through the faded shadows. She didn’t recognise many of the other figures, but then she’d never been a student of family history, especially after cutting ties with her legacy. She scoffed at the shadows’ dismissal. These men weren’t paragons of virtue. Why should she value their judgement one iota? She wasn’t about to let their disapproving aura ruin the mood.
Turning her back on the shadows, she lightly touched Manly Dan ob the arm, offering a sympathetic smile. He and his son gladly waved as the echoes of the Corduroy ancestors were lost in the flickering lamp light. The graves above became silent memorials once more.
“Why wasn’t she here?” Pacifica asked quietly, once she was sure there would be anymore supernatural surprises. “Wendy.”
Gus Corduroy looked down in sadness at the mention of his sister, though Manly Dan only nodded sagely “I understand. We’re beneath the cemetery. Every Corduroy - and Northwest,” he hastily added, “was laid to rest somewhere in the earth nearby. My dear Wendy was never buried, remember. Today’s funeral was only an empty gesture.”
Pacifica’s eyes drifted up across the ceiling, as if she was seeing beyond. “No, nothing quite so hollow. As Mabel would probably say it was a… ritual event. Wendy’s body might not be on Earth - hell, there likely aren’t even any traces of her real body left. What does that matter though, if the people who celebrate her memory are all here?”
“So,” Manly Dan said with a growing pride, “you did it. You succeeded in your quest. You saved the valley.”
“I didn’t save the valley,” Pacifica said flatly, and Manly Dan frowned. “I rescued a handful of people, that’s all.” A small smile crept into her lips. “On the other hand, I did put a multi-generational feud to rest. I purified this corner of the woods forever more. And there's one less demon haunting the valley. I think that counts as a big enough win for one day.”
Manly Dan whooped and hollered, and twirled his axe high above his head.
“Come on.” Pacifica was beaming now. All around them the prisoners were stumbling out of the hollows and blinking. “These people are probably disoriented. You can show us the way back to the surface. We’d better tell Sheriff Durland, there are bound to be families and friends who need to be informed.”
“Do you need any help?” Manly Dan pointed to the scratches on her forearm. The patch covering them had been dislodged in the fight and was now flapping uselessly. The wounds had reopened, and rivulets of blood dripped from the gash, indistinguishable from the stuff coating the rest of her skin. With a gentler touch than she could have imagined Dan flattened the patch against her arm until it stayed stuck on. “Better?”
“Better.” Pacifica grinned, happy to have teased out some of the old lumberjack’s paternal side. “Wait, one more thing.” She scanned the torn up ground until she spied her fur hat. A large tear ran along one of the flaps. She ran a finger along the material, feeling like she’d failed in some profound way.
“It just needs stitches,” Dan said simply and practically.
“Yeah,” Pacifica said, shaken free of her brief melancholy. No doubt Mabel could fix it up in no time. Wendy’s hat might not be exactly the same afterwards, but she’d decided that was alright. Even if she would heal from her scars, the hat would carry a reminder of tonight’s events. “Ok people,” she shouted at the dazed crowd of humans and cryptid people. “Danger’s over!”
Between herself and the Corduroys they made sure every last prisoner was exhumed from the earth and led the confused people out through one of the tunnels towards the open sky. As they started to get close to the surface, Manly Dan turned his head, noticing something painted on the cave wall. Letting the crowd flow past, he and Pacifica stopped to examine the wall.
Within a circle of ten symbols was a crude painting of a triangle in a top hat. Manly Dan shuddered. “It’s Him.”
Pacifica ran a finger along the dry paint with an expression close to fondness. She found herself oddly unfazed by the painting’s connotations. “Probably an old native warning sign. Beware: do not pass this point, monsters within.” She chuckled. “Come on big guy. There’s no point hanging around here. I’ve seen enough Zodiac wheels for one lifetime.”
Ahead of them Gus stood, lit by the rising sun at the mouth of the cave. Pacifica shielded her eyes and squinted. The view of the valley with the early morning rays took Pacifica’s breath away. Sometimes she took her home for granted, but in this pinkish-golden light the valley shone with an uncommon radiance. Most of the people they’d saved staggered out into the sunlight, cheering and celebrating. The cryptids, the ones who hadn’t vanished into dark recesses underground, took the opportunity to scamper away, giving only perfunctory thanks.
Corduroy patted Pacifica on the back. “Well if that doesn’t make it all worthwhile. Could do with a nice warm bath and some food though.”
Pacifica rubbed her stomach. “I know what you mean.” She gazed at the view and panned down, spotting that the town high street was only a short walk away. Sitting amidst the colonial wooden buildings was one more modern structure that stood out among its peers. Making a snap decision, she started off down the trail. “Come on. I know a place.”
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chuckecheesekid9000 · 2 months
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The Corduroy/Mecpenton/Beaulieu/Rabbit Family Tree
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So, Here's the family tree of Wendy Corduroy and Roger Rabbit.
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fordanoia · 1 year
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-opens folder on a table with a single lamplight to shine on the single blurred photo inside-
Who were you...?
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presidentstalkeyes · 2 years
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Stalkeyes Headcanons: The Corduroy Family (and some Gravity Falls history)
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The Corduroys are one of Gravity Falls' oldest families, dating almost back to its founding. Scottish frontiersmen Archibald and Constantine Corduroy first made the journey all the way across North America to participate in the California Gold Rush of the 1840s, but when they arrived they heard about 'naturally-occurring flannel' being discovered in Gravity Falls, Oregon, and decided to hunt down plaidypi instead. This was the much less-famous 'Flannel Rush'.
Some time after Archibald's untimely death in 1862, his eldest daughter Howardine - who'd previously left town to fight for the Union in the civil war (disguised as a man, during which time she became known as 'The Bounstown Butcherjack' after singlehandedly taking down two-dozen Confederate cavalrymen with only seven bullets, an axe and a wooden rocking-horse) and later became a travelling bounty hunter and carbonated lemonade saleslady in the old west - returned home, and claimed that the so-called town founder, Nathaniel Northwest, was a fraud. According to her, Nathaniel's true identity was town waste-shoveller Amos Snorkle, a man with no known friends, family, or record of ever existing. She also claimed that the town's memories had been tampered with by a coven of witches on orders of the U.S. Government, who also provided 'Nathaniel' with his fortune.
Howardine was later elected mayor, defeating Nathaniel. She ratified Quentin Trembley's various laws and introduced the 'Election Eagle', based on her belief that eagles could sense evil. She also established the town library, banned the presence of horses within town limits for unknown reasons, and helped spread the high-five to Canada and eventually Europe.
Her sister-in-law, Prudence Handforth, is better known today as the 'Hand Witch'. At the time, she was a young witch's apprentice who hadn't yet achieved immortality. She lost her legs in a 'magic pink exploding needle-related accident' and replaced them with arms.
Her son Cutter once frolicked freely in the woods and had relationships (yes, that kind) with many paranormal denizens, but when his affairs were discovered, his entire family line was cursed and he became deeply paranoid. He began the tradition of training for the apocalypse instead of celebrating Christmas - at the time, WWI was raging, and he believed that the Kaiser was about to invade with flying, musket-wielding goblins. He also believed the newly-formed Scouting movement was a British plot to take back their lost colonies and formed the Skirmishers in response. The Skirmishers lasted until the mid-70s, when Auldman Northwest started a moral panic about 'spreading superstition' and had them disbanded.
His son Valentine later became a bomber pilot in WWII, during which time he suffered a freak accident which crash-landed him in Germany. He blamed it on gremlins and swore to never fly again. He later became a hippie and formed a rivalry with then-mayor Befufflefumpter, allegedly over the latter's ties to the Northwest family and destruction of crocodile habitats to build 'needless water towers'. As of 2012, he's still alive, aged 101. He sells 'interesting mushrooms'.
Meanwhile, Cutter's daughter Earnestine experienced great turmoil. Her husband Ortwin and three of her four children all died unexpectedly - Ortwin apparently 'tripped and accidentally tied a sack around his head' while out walking with the Northwest patriach, Bullhorn died in a logging accident and Harper & Hadley died in a plane crash when attempting to flee to Scotland. Her last surviving child, Haven, attributed this to the 'family curse' and moved to another town, marrying into a local family called the Tweeds. The Tweed family are even more superstitious than their cousins in Gravity Falls, but are also extremely insular, untrusting, and are basically horror movie hillbillies. Nevertheless, they run a logging camp and invite the Corduroys over every year, even though no-one really wants to see them.
Valentine's son, Manly Dan Sr., married Scarlett MecPenton, one of the descendants of Fertilia Mecc. They lived in a polyamorous relationship with an artist called 'Dandy' Dave Denim, who was legally an 'adopted uncle'. Unfortunately, the 'curse' struck again - Dan's son Hunter died in a logging accident at 20, and his daughter Bixby struggled with lung cancer for her whole life, passing away at 35. One of his sons, Noah, is a Vietnamese boy who was rescued from a shipwreck in the midst of the 1975 Vietnam refugee crisis. He latched onto a plank of wood for a whole day before being found. He accidentally gave his niece Wendy mild hydrophobia (that's why she never goes on fishing trips with the others, and her first thought to defeat the Shapeshifter is 'water'. The pool doesn't count, she can actually see the bottom. :V)
Dan Sr's youngest daughter - and Wendy's aunt - Judy Corduroy married local lizard farmer and son of the suspected mastermind of the Great Geese Rampage of '83, Gosling Grendinator. Once an aspiring hockey player, she later became the town therapist, starting post-Weirdmageddon 'Friday Night Therapy' sessions.
Another son, Chuck, the 'family nerd', went on to become the bassist for a jazz band called The Chucks, where every member is called Chuck (and he received the nickname 'Woodchuck' to mark him out). He's everyone's favourite uncle, even though he's a hipster dork with a silly moustache. The band has played at every Woodstick festival since 2009.
Manly Dan Jr. - later known simply as Manly Dan (with his father becoming 'original Manly Dan') dated stranded French-Canadian ex-film crew tech Amanda Beaulieu for five years before they married in 1990. After she miscarried her first child - believed to be yet another victim of the 'curse' - she was so shaken that they wouldn't try again until 1996, the year the child who would later take the name Wendy was born.
In their old age, as of 2012, Dan Sr., Scarlett and Valentine live in a 'retirement cabin' next-door to the Valentino residence (and yes, they've heard all the jokes about old people living next-door to cemeteries, if you make one then Scarlett will hit you in the face with a broom). Wendy went to them first once Weirdmageddon rolled around. They managed to hold out for a day and a half against the Weirdness onslaught. Probably because they have the most guns out of anyone in town. Wendy half-suspected those federal agents from earlier in the summer had arrived to arrest her grandparents for arms trafficking.
Dipper did meet Wendy's brothers, he just didn't really get along with them - and this didn't bother him because he couldn't care less about making friends his own age. Kevin was basically just the stereotypical 10/11-year-old boy from the early 2010s - loud, hyperactive, obsessed with first-person shooters and 'those dumb screamo videos', thinks his tastes are the only true and correct tastes, can barely go five minutes without trying to wind Dipper up about his friendship with his big sister. According to Wendy, he's also gay.
He had better luck with Marcus, because he's older and actually likes to read, until Marcus tried to engage him in a 'philosophy debate' and spouted off mostly nonsense he'd picked up from his uncle. He always did admire both his parents and aspired to be like his dad, but was always a little less hyper than everyone else. Might also be gay.
And as for Gus, Dipper admittedly didn't make an effort to talk to him because he's only six, but Gus kinda creeped him out. He never said a word and kept giving him an evil glare. Maybe he was being overprotective towards his big sister? Wendy jokes that Gus is gonna grow up to be some kind of shadow government SpecOps agent, or a criminal mastermind.
(Credit goes to @mother-ofthe-universe for Bixby and Noah, I kinda absorbed them into this :V)
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athgalla-arts · 2 years
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For the character ask, slightly out of the blue but Manly Dan?
favorite thing about them: I just appreciate his particular brand of aggressive machismo hehe
least favorite thing about them: I have a lot of Thoughts about him and am upset he didn't get more screentime/we didn't learn more about him
favorite line: "I'LL SHOW YOU HOW A REAL MAN FISHES." *proceeds to grab fish out of the water and absolutely whale on it*
brOTP: Fiddleford - I'll get to the why behind that shortly.
OTP: I don't actively ship him with anyone but now I am curious to know who other people ship him with :0
nOTP: Like above, I don't have strong enough feelings to say there is a ship with him I'd dislike for sure. I guess I can't see him being with Bill? adhkgafdh
random headcanon: I headcanon that he was one of the first people that got roped into the Society of the Blind Eye and this was done personally by Fiddleford. I think this began with them talking and bonding over both being rural dudes who do/did work the land, having terrifying local experiences they really would rather forget, and both having ties to Ford. I figure Dan never got *close* to Ford but that he was well-enough acquainted with him to think "Yeah, that guy keeps sniffing around where he shouldn't and it concerns me. I worry about him" (given Ford was comfortable enough to approach him to ask to stay at his family's cabin, I figure they were at least surface level friends that ran into each other often enough). Anyway, I think getting sucked into TSOTBE is also *why* he's so paranoid and seemingly unhinged as of present day and why he drags his kids into apocalypse training and all that. He can't recall why he feels so compelled to do this for their safety, though... I wonder if following Fiddleford and Stan's recovery, they might be able to help him, too. I can easily see Wendy being the one to put the pieces together and figure out her dad was suffering from the effects of the memory gun and working with Fiddleford to do what they could to help him recover as much as possible. Following that, I think it would be nice if Ford could take the time to properly get to know the guy who built his damn house and if Stan might get to be on friendly terms with him too given he's so close to Dan's daughter. In the end I think Dan might be appreciative of Stan looking out for Wendy and maybe they could become at least loose friends.
unpopular opinion: I'm unsure of what the popular opinions of Dan are but maybe that I genuinely believe he is more than meets the eye.
song i associate with them: Honestly I can picture like any Korpiklaani song blasting in the background with him. I figure he's probably *personally* into older country, though.
favorite picture of them: Not sure if this refers to like a screencap or fanart but I do love his little fishing outfit. I am a simple person. I see someone else who likes fishing and I go :DDD Thank you for the ask!
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gkp2022 · 11 months
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GPK Fusion - Diapper Manly Dan
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askasgoreandrudy · 2 years
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Hey look! It's Mr. Manly man!
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lordofhunger47 · 1 year
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Wendi-Goes
To say Dipper was anxious would be the apt word for what he is feeling, it has been some time since he and Wendy become a thing with both being in their 20s, yet he felt as if he rather fight on some monster cryptid instead of what he was doing, which is packing his things for survival and mountaineering since he was going to go on a winter apocalypse survival training with his soon-to-be fiance and her family. His girlfriend's father is the well-known Manly Dan who if rumors are believed was trained by Manotaurs since he was a teen and is strong enough to snap a person like a twig, that's a person he didn't want to be on his bad side, it was Wendy's idea to spend the Christmas with her and her family in the armageddon training instead of the couple go to some Christmas attendance or party to get his blessing so Mason agreed to it.
 
"Relax dude, my dad likes you, he just isn't very good at showing it." Wen comforted his boyfriend as she and him all packed up and walked to the Corduroy Cabine.
 
"Wendy, that man once tried to roadkill me and my sister in the agent's car when she told him that 'Sev'ral Timez' sucks." He blandly informed her.
 
"Yeah…he has a bit of a temper." she admitted.
 
"A bit is putting it lightly." he responded sarcastically.
 
“But, he knows about you so he is willing to give you the chance.”
 
“ * sight* fiiine.”
 
“Trust me, you won’t regret it.” she assured him.
 
 Outside of the cabin, the rest of the Corduroys were busy being ready for the journey with their packs ready, and behold it was the man Manly Dan checking his supplies and preparing for the trip which he is going to have this time not just with his kids but also with the boyfriend of his only daughter. Honestly, he didn't know how to feel about her only daughter dating Stan's Great-Nephew, on one hand, he is certainly a far cry from Wendy's previous flings and boys he hangs around which is a plus on itself and is the town's hero, while on the other hand, he isn't exactly a 'Manly' man, the first time he met him he thought he was girl, heck even his sister had more muscular than him! sure it was years ago and since then he gained some muscles and his arms were no longer noodly, even then he wasn't exactly the ideal future Son-In-Law he had imagined; however, since he had many times proven himself as a brave individual, Wendy seems to be more active when she is around him(not even working in the Mystery Shack could get her out of her laziness before the Pines kids showed up), and as mentioned before is very different compared to the boys her daughter used to spend time around who were rude, cowardly and insecure(which he internally sighed in relief) he is willing to give him a chance and that says a lot because he hated all of Wendy's exes even from the first glance out of fatherly instinct and their mere look and cocky attitude, the fact that his fatherly instincts proven right all those times so as the superficial observations certainly didn't help either. His sons had a variety of views on Wendy's current boyfriend, Kevin was simply indifferent, and Gus liked him in contrast to Marcus who looked at him with suspicion.
 
“Hi, guys! Sorry if I'm late!” She greeted her family.
 
“What’s your nerd boyfriend doing here?” Marcus inquired, before Dipper could answer her girlfriend did.
 
“He is coming with us, I thought to show my boyfriend the Corduroy ropes.”
 
Dan let out an accepting grunt “Fine then, everyone check your belongings, we move the next 10 minutes.” He walked inside the house to make sure nothing was at the miss.
 
“Ya, sure he can handle it? Looks a bit squeamish.” he mocked Kevin snickering, before Dipper could bite back Wendy came to his defense.
 
“Then perhaps I should bring Mabel instea-”
 
“NOOOO!” All her brothers responded simultaneously in alarm, hence Wendy and Dipper smirking, they met Mabel for the first time when she was in her Boyz Crazy phase, and let’s just say she was too much for them to handle even after she grew out of her phase.
 
“I mean…sure your boyfriend can!” Kevin spoke for the boys as he and they shuddered at the recall of the glitter incident.
 
 
Years ago….
 
There it was Mabel in a monstrous glitter-matched sweater which written 'I'm the trouble' in the Corduroy Cabin looking at the shaking Corduroy boys like a piece of meat "Who wants to read my sparky vampire fanfics?" She grinned maliciously with eyes sparking with madness.
 
 
Or at least that was the interpretation of that fateful event. Since then, Mabel had a restraining order to never be near Corduroy's cabin to her dismay, not the only time she got a restraining order thanks to her completely disastrous pursuit of a romantic life mind you, and not for the lack of trying.
 
“Glad we reached an agreement!” She accompanied Dipper and strolled with him.
 
After the 10 minutes were over they began their journey to the woods which were covered in snow. During the travel Dipper faced difficulties thanks to the eldest brother of Wendy, he gave him a hard time like one time when he intentionally stole his pillow during a night's sleep which forced him to use a rock instead or the constant ridicule he and cold shoulder he gave, to Dipper’s credit he didn’t snap as he wanted to be liked by his girlfriend’s family, though this feud hasn’t been unnoticed by Wendy who during twilight when the group was moving pass a river she chose to finally settle this as she left the formation and came near Marcus.
 
“Is it necessary to give him a hard time?” Wendy said sternly, deciding to finally confront him.
 
“I don’t trust that boyfriend of yours, he and his family are like magnets for trouble, everyone knows that, I just don’t want you to end up with a broken heart again.” he reasoned.
 
"Oh, that's so sweet and considerate of you…if only you showed the same concern you had about my dating life before!" Wendy snapped at the startled Marcus.
 
“Hold on a moment-” he was cut short before he could come up with a retort.
 
"The tattoo guy, that jock from 10th grade, Robbie THE Edgelord ! I literally was a magnet for dregs of Gravity Falls, where was your concern when I dated them!" she pointed at him accusingly, he opened his mouth to say something but got cut off again.
 
"Oh, that's right! You didn't care! You all have been too busy trying to impress father the 'Manliest Man in Gravity Falls', And now, I finally have a boyfriend who isn't some edgy manchild or has a stick in his butt then suddenly you care?? Dipper is more honorable and manly than half the lot of you! While you were busy trying to catch a fish with your fist he faced literal monsters that would reduce you into a gibberish mess! And FYI this is mine to deal with, your problem is you don't know when to shut up spewing crap! You see this face?" She points at her angry face "THIS will always be the face that means shut your bullcrap!"
 
"I-" put more emphasis on her own face with both of her hands.
 
"Er-" her frown got even deeper.
 
  He grunts in defeat, knowing it is a losing battle, and after that, his sister moves away furiously.
 
Just then Kevin moved near him "Wow, she shut your trap real good.” he commented, prompting Marcus to push him away in annoyance which caused him to snicker.
 
As night came, a blizzard of snow, even with their equipment they couldn't continue in this weather unless they wanted to die of hypothermia so they tried finding a place to settle.
 
“KIDS! OVER THERE! WE SETTLE THERE!” Daniel shouted at the group and pointed at the entrance to a cave, so they ventured inside.
 
“Wohoh, even in gloves my hands were feeling numb.” Kevin looked at his shaky hands.
 
“Spread out! There could be an animal here so we better search the place before settling in.`` The boys minus the Pines whined, yet they followed his command and brought their flashlights to check the place. After minutes of searching this place, they found nothing but bones.
 
“ALL CLEAR DAD! Let’s camp!” Wendy shouted, so she left her backpack and started making a campfire with the rest looking for wood or anything to use as fuel for the fire.
 
*Clicking sounds of stones*
 
“What’s that?” Gus heard the sound as if something was walking, he looked over the source of the sound; nevertheless, found nothing but darkness.
*clicking*
 
He heard that sound again so he ready his knife from his left hand with the other hand holding his source of light, he slowly walked and narrowed his eyes to make anything. He thought it was just some rat and how he wished that was the case when he lost a year of his life in shock at what it revealed to him.
 
" Aeeeeha !" A pale-skinned humanoid with milky eyes, dirty and half-destroyed clothes so decomposed that it is unrecognizable what style it used to be, and sharpened mole rat-like teeth appeared without warning in a low screech in front of Kevin from the dark, being startled and terrorized he dropped his flashlight and prior he had the chance to scream his right hand with long fingers and nails covered his mouth from screaming with while the other hand holds him on shoulders in place “ ehheeheee!” Gud was petrified in fear, Dan looked around instinctive and saw one of his sons in the mercy of a thin-pale skin humanoid whose limbs were longer than its body, with no time to waste he jumped and brought his ax down on the thing’s hand which grabbed Gus from the neck, the hand got cut and fell with black blood oozing from the screaming creature as it backed away, quickly Dan grabbed his kid from the back of his collar and moved him away, the whole thing was enough to grab everyone’s attention, soon they sprinted and joined with the father of the Corduroys, unluckily the screams of the pale thing was heard by his kin as well as more and more member of its kind came some crawling from the roof others from the ground like lizards.
 
As the group made a protective circle and lit the place using flashlights more humanoid monstrosities came and surrounded them, Wendy with an ax, Marcus with a hunting rifle, Gus with a small needle knife, Mason bringing his hunting knife from his backpack, and Daniel with a waterfowl shotgun.
 
“What the hell are they!?” Marcus exclaimed with his hunting rifle pointed.
 
"Wendigos…" Mason informed him with his hunting knife ready, he wished he had brought high-tech weaponry if it weren’t for the insistence on using low-tech tools for the winter apocalypse training, as he noticed one of them seemed to be the alpha of the pack which noticeably had red archaic lines across its body with the skull of deer with huge antlers which it wears like a helmet, all it was visible of his face under the skull was glowing white eyes which reminded him of predators with night visions he once saw in a nature documentary.
 
“You are a monster expert! How do we kill these things?” Gus questioned in urgency.
 
“Fire is their weakness, grab anything flammable and use it!” Before anyone could act the alpha screeched which commanded the pack to swarm on them so they used their weapons, Wendy managed to take one by axing on the attacker’s skull which rained black blood out of it till he took the ax off to fight off the others, Dan shot two of them bullseye and used his gun like a sledgehammer when one of the abominations came near him with Gus behind him, Dipper sprinted over and grabbed a large bone from the ground and then covered it’s head with dirty remained patches around it, next one of the attacking wendigos jumped at him and tried to take a bite at him with Dipper struggling to keep the monster away from his head.
 
“HEY! Off my boyfriend! Get your own!” Wendy aided Mason by slashing the wendigo’s head into a flying head.
 
“Thanks Wen.” Dipper thanked and finally took his lighter to light it up, using his torch he shooed the screeching man-eaters and even set one on fire as it vocalized an unholy shriek before it died.
 
Another of those pale cannibals caught Gus off-guard and nearly got its sharpened claws approximately on the shocked kid until his father came and shield himself between his son and the thing, a slashed crimson mark near his left shoulder across his arm, and then punch the abomination on the face with its teeth flying over.
 
“Are you okay boy?
 
“Yes, Are you!?” he asked incredulously.
 
“No!” He shouted as he tried to stop the bleeding from his wound near the shoulder.
 
Seeing that, Marcus tried to get his hands on his lighter till one of the hordes took him by surprise, tossed his lighter away, and before he could use his rifle to smack on it the cannibal threw him like a ragdoll. “WOOOAH!” he crashed into the cave’s wall and moaned in pain. “ Ow! These things are becoming a pain in my aAAAA!” he yelped due to the beast which threw him away now racing toward him and jumped with his fangs and teeth tearing him a new, he would have been slashed into a grizzly end if it weren’t for a flamer aimed at the attacker from a flame gun belonged to Dipper, the entity fell near Marcus as it burst to flame with it screaming until it was nothing but a chartered corpse, Marcus looked in amazement to the boyfriend of his sister who simply nodded and used his torch to send more of the assaulting horde on fire while also being careful to not get sliced by them.
 
By then, the Corduroys followed Dipper's advice and used whatever flammable things they could get their hands on and touched them to shoo and send the wendigos on fire some did some ingenuity to their credit like Kevin using his secretly-stashed sprayer which he smuggled, and a lighter together to have his flamethrower, more and more of them got burned or died by other means until no more of them came, all that remained were their corpses either by fire, bullets or axes and knives.
 
Marcus panted heavily “I think that’s all of them.” he kicked one of the dead bodies.
 
“No it’s not, look, the one with a deer skull is not anywhere.” Wen reminded them, so they stand alert trying to find where the pack leader went with Dipper this time arming himself with brass knuckles, a gift from Stanley on one of his and his sister’s birthdays(though, they had to keep that a secret until now that they were in legal age and only used it for emergency). Unfortunately for the Corduroy’s patriarch, the last wendigo was up on the roof using the darkness as camouflage coming toward him slowly and slowly with its hungry maw opened dripping with saliva for its prey.
 
“BEHIND YOU!” the Pines boy cried out to Dan who in turn back, before he could react the anthropophagus with one of its hands slammed him on his face, for a skinny creature it was surprisingly strong, the rest of the group hurried to aid him; however, it was too late as the thing took a bite from Dan’s right arm between his shoulder and wrist.
 
"NOOOOO!" They screamed as they ran with Wendy who was the nearest giving a kick to the anthropologist's head which resulted in it jumping back to the roof at much distance and hissing.
 
“DAD! You okay?” Kevin questioned in urgency.
 
“I'm fine! I dealt with worse, although I felt a bit dizzy…”
 
“That’s because that thing took a chunk out of your flesh you testosterone-drunk bear!” Wendy snapped at his denial, indeed the abominable humanoid ripped a part of its flesh and now it was bleeding, whilst others didn’t take their eyes off the cannibalistic monster which they could swear looked a bit smug as it chews and swallowed with his tongue licking its lips clearly enjoying the taste, Wendy used her emergency kit to disinfect her father’s wound and stop the bleeding.
 
"You like my taste skinny?” Manly Dan roared at the gazing creature “Then it's a good thing that I'm…ABSOLUTELY DRUNK WITH CORDUROY'S SPECIAL MOONSHINE! HAHAHAHAHA!" Manly Dan cackles madly as the wendigo which took a bite of his flesh starts to look disoriented with its eyes dilating.
 
It took the other in surprise before Dipper blinked and registered "That's…that’s ingenious! You have poisoned yourself with a high dosage of arsenic as a safety precaution!" impressed, ignorant of the obvious.
 
"THAT IS DEFINITELY WHY I DID THAT!" Daniel with his still gritted teeth said in a mix of pain, embarrassment, and a sense of schadenfreude for giving the wendigo 'screw you' in the most ironic way, Wendy almost rolled her eyes if it weren't for the urgency of the situation, in one desperate move the pack leader tried to move away and then in as an act of intimidation it sharpens its claws and hanged his long skinny arms around like wings in an act of intimidation until it dropped to the earth so as it’s bony helmet away from him.
 
"It's vulnerable now! Now it's the time!" Dipper called everyone.
 
"You heard him! Let’s kill the bastard!” Marcus concurred.
 
“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH-!” the boys and the girl roared with every breath of their lungs and raced toward the now intimidated Wendigo which didn’t know what it should do or react other than making a weak Howell, it didn’t get the chance to decide once the Pines and the Corduroys attacked with their weapons and beat the crap out of it, brass knuckles, axes, knives, punches, kicks all falling on him non-stop till it was nothing but a bloody pulp and died.
 
“You mess with a Corduroy, you mess with all of us!” Gus spits on the beaten dead body in spite.
 
“Not that I’m not proud of y'all are a show of brutality, but can you please bandage me up before I die from blood loss?” the patriarch gestured with his eyes to his cut.
 
“Right! Right!” Wendy returned to him to bandage his injury, whereas the rest collected themselves with Marcus walking toward Mason.
 
“Hey Pines!” He called him which got his attention. “I’m not good at apologies and thank you so I will make it quick.” he scratched the back of his head in nervousness “Sorry about giving you crap and thanks for saving my ass.”
 
“No problem, Water off the bridge, I have a sister too so I get it.” He shrugged, accepting his apology.
 
Gus moved toward the fallen deer skull, after which he took it and checked it around “Wow, a cool trophy!
we now ha-” Dipper snatched the skull before he could wear it on his head and threw it hard on earth, resulting in it shattering into a million pieces.
 
“HEY! That was-”
 
Without alarm a surge of black magic in black came up and turned into smoke which grabbed their attention, there was an awkward moment before someone finally said something.
 
“You’re welcome.” he nonchalantly said and moved past his girlfriend’s youngest brother who was still looking at the pieces dumbstruck Wendy’s oldest brother considering his soon-to-be brother-in-law just saved a member of the Corduroy family again .
 
Minutes later the fire was made in the middle of the cave a bandaged Manly Dan with the rest of the group circled around using the heat to warm themselves and cook their meals on sticks, the corpses of the massacred wendigos were being used as fuel for a separate campfire so that they won’t have to deal with their stinky rotten stink.
 
“Man, if this is what it is like being in one of your adventures, no wonder why our sister is always eager to spend time with you.” Kevin with his almost cooked marshmallows commented.
 
“To be fair, this one just came out of nowhere, it's not like any of us had a way of knowing it,” he remarked.
 
“Bah! Who needs Christmas when you can commit a massacre on man-eating abominations with your family guilt-free!" She nodded to the burning pile of wendigos, Gus looked at her weirdly as Kevin until they made eye contact with each other and shrugged.
 
After a few moments of silence just looking at the fire and processing the ordeal they fasted before Mason finally dared to slap his hands together to ask Wendy’s dad the question “So…Me and Wendy were thinking since we have been a thing for some time if we can have your blessing in me becoming her fiance-”
 
“No.” he gave a fast nonchalant answer that surprised everyone including the dumbstruck Pines.
“bu-but …” Dan’s soon to be son-in-law stammed.
 
“Not until you drink one coup from my family’s special moonshine.” he grabs his flask and pour the liquid into a metallic mug and then gave it to him, Dipper hesitantly looked at the poured mug, it smelled like death and gasoline having a baby, his nose pinched in recoil. He looked back at Manly Dan whose look told him to drink it, he let out a breath and drink it which felt like bile in his throat, after drinking it his face expressed in pain, trying very hard to not throw up with the rest of Corduroys looking at him grinning.
 
“ * BLAH!* it-ts…the absolute foulest thing I ever put in my mouth…” Now he felt a burning sensation in his stomach while he spoke weakly with his mouth tasting like octane, the Corduroys laughed at his misfortune.
 
“Welcome to the family, son!” Daniel gave his blessing and gave a hard affectionate smack on his back in mirth which nearly caused him to fall.
 
“I-i-feeeel…trippy..~” Mason fell unconscious when the effects of the drink came, alarmed his girlfriend came to check him with the Corduroy boys now laughing like hyenas.
 
“DAD!” she roared back at her father.
 
“I DIDN’T MEAN FOR THAT TO HAPPEN!” He defended himself.
 
“I TOLD YOU HE WAS A LIGHT DRINKER!” Wendy's fiance was still sleeping like a sleeping beauty as the only daughter of Manly Dan chewed her father up with the boys still laughing hoarsely, he was now rather dealing with the wendigos than his enraged daughter.
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